#the shart gallery

[the-meme-monarch]

we’re just abnormal men. we’re just abhorrent men

#sorry idk if this is even funny to anyone besides me #my sibling and i love the evil world/opposite world type memes like this ok #the shart gallery

[jostar]

#shart gallery

[handdrawnfantasma]

i spent my first time playing this game with no idea that you could remove the bloodless debuff using Lesser Restoration and so Tilly spent like fully an entire third of her run going through all of that combat and exploration and cult destroying while mildly anaemic. my friends only told me about this yesterday and we all had a good laugh at my expense but we also decided that this is probably what was happening. and honestly. in any case it is a PAINFULLY in character Tilly thing for her not to be aware of this so I'm adding it to my beloved gallery of Tilly Tosscobble 10 INT Moments. not pictured: Gale frantically adding iron-rich foods to the evening meal every night

(also shart is wrong it's not a sex thing it is a halfling thing filtered through a very Tilly lens. everyone at the table eats)

#i'm feeling brave and think this is funny enough to put in the main tags so #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 tav #bg3 halfling #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 bard #bg3 fanart #my doodles #fel livebagels bg3 #tilly: has the WIS to know that as a small creature she does not have the blood to spare every night!! #... does not have the INT to know that a simple spell would solve this issue :') #DOES however have the insane troll logic granted to low INT high WIS folks to decide that her experience from growing up on a farm and-- #managing things sustainably there can be applied here. i love my girl she's a moron and occasionally so am i <3

[paulcatania]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, TUMBLR?!?!?!

Dear Tumblr, I am so sorry for everything. Really. I am part of the problem.

First off, I am sorry for the #PornVibesStrong moment that Twitter ROBBED you of during and prior to the Trump Administration (and who knows, perhaps now). Didn't Trump shut you down? Something happened. I can't remember. But I know that wow, what a time. This time however? This is another time. A time which feels like no time or space are we existing. Just maybe. If anyone can understand what that means of feels like to think or say. The post Covid existence being this constant alternate universe, time warp fuckery I can't quite seem to pinpoint with a term defining. Listening to "Head Over Heels" right now by Tears For Fears feels appropriate. It just has that sound to it ya know. Especially when it shows up in Donnie Darko. OMG. DOES NOT THE POST COVID WORLD FEEL LIKE DONNIE DARKO???? I know this much. Wait hold on..... Ok I had to go and quickly skim the lyrics to that song as final line of the song played... "Funny how time flies....". It really is all connected.

I haven't written in forever. Not like this. Not through the vessel that is you dearest Tumblr. I have abandoned my original venting/creative space-preferred via the digital realm. It's all beyond a bit much; to say the least. As of this exact moment, trying to rid myself of the physical foot print being my last four years. A mental health decline in late 2018 where life didn't seem one worth living, yet still trucking through creative projects and feeling connected to "the muses" whoever they are. Entities undisclosed, yet carrying me. An overpowering of dark forces bringing me to feelings of wanting to simply NOT EXIST. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but how many steps can we possibly be before thoughts turn transcend actions. So I kind of acquired an art gallery of my friends in the earlier months of 2019 which then turns into my quite literally manifested 2nd Hand Shop which I simply called "Paul's Closet". In this post Covid world I am left with what seems to be endless items now making up my brand name switch to a less than desireable to some "2nd Hand HoE". I know right. Who doesn't want to shop there?

2nd Hand HoE is a less than acceptably managed resale shop out of my office space in my hometown of Gloucester, MA. Yup. This is where I'm at. I mean it's not THAT bad. I'm working the sidewalk/vestibule/stairwell which leads to a second-level office building consisting of office space for commercial use. It's been a long and wild 3 years being back and forth between here and my apartment in Peabody just about 15 miles away. A shared space with my ex partner. The poor dude. Sorry Alex. Haha. Yeah, No. It was a great 3 years. A wild learning experience with a friend unlike any I'd ever had. Relationships can be intense. Cohabited relationships even more so if not the right time and place. And space. Hold this space my dear lover. Ugh I'm gonna shart my jorts. Honestly. I'm so lost. Like what am I doing. WAIT, I know....... DUH. I'm reintroducing myself into the strong relationship I once had with the Tumbz. I see you Tumbzi, and I know you see #metoo.

Anyhoozers, I was all up in my feelitos, and I don't even know what the fuck made me think of it but I was like, what should I do? Just sit here anal cav deep in my iPhone swiping between apps slash doom scrolling and being envious of others' shit???? NO. Ufck That dumb stuff. I need to recreate my life. Will I this time? Well, hope the fuck so. The universe will always work out the shit it needs to but I would like to be a little bit of a commander in this simulation as well. I mean that's only fair right? Most would say so. I have discipline issues. I'm afraid to take chances. I'm afraid of what everyone thinks of me. It's ridiculous. I hate the internet, and all these things I hate and am afraid of are the things I'm supposed to connect to and through to be anything worth anything in a capitalist world right? I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I just know that I need to speak or type or write or whatever the fahhhhhk is on my mind or else the wheels will turn and spin right off the track. Or shall we say, Tumbl off course.

of course.

#blogger life #pocketania #pauls closet #writer #therapy #resaleshop #resale shop #second hand #2nd hand #entrepreneur #mental patient #the hustle is real

[stayathomesurveys]

056.

Would you rather have macaroni salad or potato salad as a side dish? I like both. At this particular moment, I would rather have macaroni salad.

How many pairs of winter gloves do you own? None.

Which type of deli meat do you prefer? Turkey.

Where’d you go the last time that you took an Uber? I don’t remember.

How many pounds can you lift on your own? I’m not sure.

Which foods do you typically pair with peanut butter? Bread, jelly. Apples. Chocolate.

Whenever you print something, is it typically in color or black and white? Usually black & white.

What would you put into your own homemade trail mix? I wouldn’t.

Do you know anyone with two different colored irises? No.

Can you reach the top shelves in your home, or is it a struggle? I can’t. I have to get out the little ladder stepper thing.

Do you prefer to use headphones or earbuds? Headphones. Earbuds always fall out of my ears :(

Do you own any complete television series on DVD? Which ones? No.

Which sneaker do you typically put on first? Whichever.

What can you see when you glance out the closest window? The pool.

Have you ever participated in any sort of a protest? What was it about? No.

What was the last thing to make you laugh until you cried? No idea.

Toilet paper - are you a folder or a scruncher? Folder with a bit of scrunch, I guess. I basically wrap it around my hand and then pull it off my hand, and then scrunch it a little bit. TMI, I guess.

If you could own your own business, what would you sell? I dunno.

What’s your favorite flavor potato chip? Usually sour cream & onion.

What is one vegetable that you will never eat? I dunno.

Do you like nuts in your chocolate? I tolerate it but I don’t usually prefer/crave it. With the exception of Mr. Goodbar and the Hershey’s bar w/ almond (esp the nuggets). The Heshey’s bars with almonds just hit different... not sure why. The chocolate is almost softer, if I had to describe it.

Who pinched your butt last? My boyfriend.

What’s your favorite way to eat an egg? Scrambled.

What’s your favorite type of seafood, if any? Shrimp and salmon. I’m really not a seafood person, though.

Have you ever found a hair or a bug in your food? Yes, ew.

If you had the money to do so, which room of your home would you renovate next? I don’t own my apartment.

Do you have a garage? If so, what’s in it? My apartment has a parking garage. There are cars in it. Obviously.

Would you rather play field hockey or ice hockey, and why? Field hockey. I don’t know how to ice skate and ice hockey seems more violent.

Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No.

Do you personally know anyone who is currently incarcerated? No.

Have you ever had your glasses broken before? How? Yes. I don’t remember.

If you have contacts, did you ever have a fear of accidentally poking yourself in the eye? I don’t have contacts.

Do you have a favorite bird? No.

Who is your favorite superhero? I don’t have one.

When’s the last time you sharted yourrself? Never.

How many of your family member live out of state or in a different country? Most of them.

Who does the yardwork at your home? I live in an apartment... they have groundskeepers for that.

How often can you not fall back asleep when you’re woken up in the middle of the night? Often.

Were you someone who used to enjoy purchasing school supplies? Yup! I love buying anything stationary related or typical school supplies. I basically collect pens and notebooks/journals.

What is one of your favorite childhood memories? I don’t feel like reminisicing.

What is something you wish you had insurance on? Myself? I don’t have health insurance anymore and I need to go to the dentist, eye doctor, PCP, neurologist, and GYN. Oops.

How often do you read a book? (for pleasure) Occasionally.

Have you ever been skiing before? No. I’ve been snowboarding once.

Would you rather visit a museum or a gallery, and why? I like both. Probably an art gallery. I find they aren’t as packed as museums.

Have you ever skipped school? Yes.

Did you attend many sleepovers as a child? Yup.

Who’s the last person you got a card for? What was the occasion? My boyfriend’s sister and her husband and baby. Their daughter’s christening.

When’s the last time you made a s'more? It’s been a long time.

Do you remember to use bug spray in the summertime? No.

Do you have any college loans to still pay off? Yes.

If you had to teach a class, what would it be about? I wouldn’t.

Do you like to go ice skating during the winter? I’ve never been but I really, really want to.

What is your opinion on sex before marriage? Ok.

Are you typically the heartbreaker or the heartbreakee? I don’t know.

Would you rather read Twilight or Harry Potter? Harry Potter.

What is something you’re curious about but never have the courage to ask? I don’t know.

What could you confidently give at least a 5-minute speech about? No idea.

Would you rather write on a chalkboard or a whiteboard? Whiteboard.

What’s the last concert you attended? I don’t remember. Probably CCMF a few years ago?

What was the last compliment you received? What was it? From who? I don’t know. Probably something about being beautiful from my boyfriend.

Is there anyone out there who you truly hate? Uhhh.

Do you know of any cats who like to play fetch? Yes, mine.

When’s the last time you had a bloody nose? Never.

Can you walk on stilts? No. Never tried.

Can you successfully complete any yo-yo tricks? No.

How much of your day is spent listening to music? It varies day to day.

Would you enjoy going deep sea diving? I don’t know, maybe. It’s on my bucket list.

How good are you at memory match games? Good.

Do you like rollercoasters? Nope.

What electronic would you personally be able to survive without? Gaming consoles.

Approximately how many books do you own? Not many.

What’s the longest the power has gone out in your town? I don’t know.

Have you ever had your wisdom teeth removed? Yes.

What’s the last thing you complained about? I don’t remember.

Can you do a cartwheel? Maybe, I haven’t tried in a while.

Do you have a favorite day of the week? When I was in school and when I worked my last job, Saturdays were my favorite day of the week. Now, they all just blend in together. I can’t keep track of what day of the week it is anymore.

How long has it been since you wore a friendship bracelet? Like 20 years.

Would you rather do mini-golf, laser tag, or midnight bowling? Minigolf.

Do you prefer bunnies with straight ears or lop ears? I like both. They’re all cuties.

Are you a superstitious person? Not really.

What’s the last thing that someone else had to help you carry? I don’t remember, groceries?

Are you ticklish? Yes.

Have you ever had to evacuate your home due to natural disaster? Yes.

Do you snore a lot when you sleep? Probably.

Does going to any type of doctor appointment give you anxiety? Yeah, lately.

Do you typically wear belts with your pants? I never wear a belt.

Have one of your parents ever accidentally left you in a store before? No.

If you were able to know when you were going to die, would you want to know ahead of time? I don’t know. Probably not.

When did you start your first period? I was 12. It was my last class period of the day on the first Friday of the school year. It was science class.

Do you prefer pants with buttons or snaps? Button and zipper? I prefer leggings or legging-adjacent.

Is it okay to color outside the lines? Sure...?

What’s your favorite number? I don’t have one.

Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No.

Briefly describe your last encounter with a Karen. Uhh. No. Basically 90% of the patients I was dealing with before I quit my job, lol.

How much do you tip your waiter/waitress? Usually 25% unless they’re just god awful. 

What was your worst subject in school? Math.

#survey

[zhiguya]

Top ten international massage chair brands list which brand of massage chair is the best

The top ten international massage chair brands list:

1.  Detailed introduction: Rongtai is a well-known health technology company in China. It focuses on the research and development of massage products and is committed to bringing consumers the healthiest way of health preservation. Sales have been at the forefront of the market for many years.

2.  Detailed introduction: Osheng originated from Singapore, specializing in the research and development of electrical and health equipment products, and is committed to bringing consumers the healthiest household products. At present, it has established multiple distribution points in the Chinese market, and the quality of the products is also very trustworthy.

3.    Detailed introduction: Ruiduo is a well-known intelligent technology company in my country. Founded in 2013, it focuses on the development of the health industry. With Baojian massage equipment as its main product, it is committed to bringing modern people the highest quality health care equipment.

4. 　　Detailed introduction: Panasonic is a well-known Japanese electrical appliance group. Its product range covers a wide range of household appliances and health care, service and logistics series of various sizes. Its digital products and health care equipment are also very popular.

5.  Detailed introduction: Founded in 1996, Aojiahua is a health technology company originating from Malaysia, focusing on the research and development of massage products. It sells well in more than 20 countries around the world and has set up hundreds of counters.

http://www.ghmassager.com

https://brilliantmassager.en.alibaba.com

#massager #massage #the shart gallery #spongebob #ive had this in my head for a few days now

[suckitsurveys]

10,000 Questions  part 4 created by tater-tots

Would you rather have macaroni salad or potato salad as a side dish? My homemade potato salad.

How many pairs of winter gloves do you own? A HANDful. lol get it? Do you get it? Do you get my joke?

Which type of deli meat do you prefer? Turkey.

Where’d you go the last time that you took an Uber? We took a Lyft in SLC to get back to my friend’s apartment

How many pounds can you lift on your own? However much my older niece weighs, at least.

Which foods do you typically pair with peanut butter? Apples, jelly, chocolate.

Whenever you print something, is it typically in color or black and white? I mean, it would depend?

What would you put into your own homemade trail mix? Nuts and candy, mostly.

Do you know anyone with two different colored irises? I think so?

Can you reach the top shelves in your home, or is it a struggle? We are in the basement and everything is pretty low so can reach the shelves, but funnily enough, I cannot reach the windowsill in our kitchen. The sink and stove are in front and I do not have a long enough reach.

Do you prefer to use headphones or earbuds? Wireless headphones. Earbuds do not stay in my ears.

Do you own any complete television series on DVD? Which ones? A few. 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Home Movies....

Which sneaker do you typically put on first? I have no idea.

What can you see when you glance out the closest window? The hotel across the street.

Have you ever participated in any sort of a protest? What was it about? The last one I went to was in support of Black Lives Matter back in summer 2020.

What was the last thing to make you laugh until you cried? Something on SNL.

Toilet paper - are you a folder or a scruncher? Scruncher.

If you could own your own business, what would you sell? I would be an event planner.

What’s your favorite flavor potato chip? Cheddar sour cream, or just plain with some sort of dip.

What is one vegetable that you will never eat? I’m not sure. Are water chestnuts a veggie?

Do you like nuts in your chocolate? I do.

Who pinched your butt last? I have no idea. Mark usually just slaps or grabs it, never pinches.

What’s your favorite way to eat an egg? With my mouth. I can’t think of a way I don’t like to eat eggs.

What’s your favorite type of seafood, if any? Crab legs!

Have you ever found a hair or a bug in your food? Yeah.

If you had the money to do so, which room of your home would you renovate next? I’d use the money to replace our windows.

Do you have a garage? If so, what’s in it? We have a shared garage and we have some of our stuff in it.

Would you rather play field hockey or ice hockey, and why? I’d actually love to learn how to play ice hockey.

Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? Nope.

Do you personally know anyone who is currently incarcerated? I don’t think so.

Have you ever had your glasses broken before? How? Yes.

If you have contacts, did you ever have a fear of accidentally poking yourself in the eye? Yes, haha.I rarely wear contacts anymore though.

Do you have a favorite bird? Cardinals.

Who is your favorite superhero? Lego Batman haha.

When’s the last time you sharted yourrself? I don’t do that often?

How many of your family member live out of state or in a different country? A good amount live here but a lot are scattered across the US.

Who does the yardwork at your home? We do.

How often can you not fall back asleep when you’re woken up in the middle of the night? Definitely depends.

Were you someone who used to enjoy purchasing school supplies? Yesss.

What is one of your favorite childhood memories? Vacations. I miss road trips where I’d have a whole set up in the back seat with snacks and my CDs.

What is something you wish you had insurance on? I don’t know.

How often do you read a book? (for pleasure) Rarely.

Have you ever been skiing before? No.

Would you rather visit a museum or a gallery, and why? Depends. I like both.

Have you ever skipped school? Yes.

Did you attend many sleepovers as a child? A handful, sure.

Who’s the last person you got a card for? What was the occasion? I don’t remember.

Have you ever said .....?

When’s the last time you made a s'more? Near Halloween. We had a pumpkin carving party and had a bonfire with smores.

Do you remember to use bug spray in the summertime? Yeah, when I need it.

Do you have any college loans to still pay off? No.

Do you believe in celebrating Yes?

If you had to teach a class, what would it be about? No thanks.

Do you like to go ice skating during the winter? I wish I was better at ice skating.

What is your opinion on sex before marriage? 100% for it.

Are you typically the heartbreaker or the heartbreakee? Breakee. Your heart can break in more ways than just romantic.

Would you rather read Twilight or Harry Potter? Twilight because JK Rowling is a TERF and I refuse to give her my money. 

What is something you’re curious about but never have the courage to ask? Google exists.

What could you confidently give at least a 5-minute speech about? BoJack Horseman.

Would you rather write on a chalkboard or a whiteboard? Whiteboard.

What’s the last concert you attended? Billie Eilish in SLC almost 3 weeks ago.

What was the last compliment you received? What was it? From who? A coworker said I did a good job at putting something together.

Is there anyone out there who you truly hate? Yes. Truly.

Do you know of any cats who like to play fetch? Yes, our cat actually kinda plays fetch.

When’s the last time you had a bloody nose? It’s been a long time.

Can you walk on stilts? I’ve never tried but I doubt it.

Can you successfully complete any yo-yo tricks? Nope.

How much of your day is spent listening to music? To and from work and sometimes at home too.

Would you enjoy going deep sea diving? Yeah.

How good are you at memory match games? Pretty decent.

Do you like rollercoasters? I haven’t been on one in a while.

What electronic would you personally be able to survive without? I guess my TV since I can watch stuff on my phone or laptop.

Approximately how many books do you own? I don’t know.

What’s the longest the power has gone out in your town? A day.

Have you ever had your wisdom teeth removed? Yes. Fun fact: I only grew three.

What’s the last thing you complained about? I have the worst fucking heartburn right now.

Can you do a cartwheel? No.

Do you have a favorite day of the week? Friday.

How long has it been since you wore a friendship bracelet? It’s been several years.

Would you rather do mini-golf, laser tag, or midnight bowling? Bowling.

Do you prefer bunnies with straight ears or lop ears? Either.

Are you a superstitious person? I’m just a little stitious.

What’s the last thing that someone else had to help you carry? Groceries.

Are you ticklish? Yes.

Have you ever had to evacuate your home due to natural disaster? No.

Do you snore a lot when you sleep? Yes.

Does going to any type of doctor appointment give you anxiety? Yes.

Do you typically wear belts with your pants? I never wear a belt.

Have one of your parents ever accidentally left you in a store before? Yes, hahaha.

If you were able to know when you were going to die, would you want to know ahead of time? Absolutely not.

When did you start your first period? I was 13.

Do you prefer pants with buttons or snaps? Buttons.

Is it okay to color outside the lines? Do what you want.

What’s your favorite number? 24.

Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No.

Briefly describe your last encounter with a Karen. Some lady in front of me at the grocery store was complaining hardcore about a coupon that didn’t work.

How much do you tip your waiter/waitress? At a sit-down restaurant, I round up the total and tip 20% of that. If it’s a pick up order I’ll usually throw down a couple of bucks, and for delivery I do 15%.

What was your worst subject in school? English because I fucking HATED reading for assignments. I had my first mental breakdown sophomore year over fucking huck finn and I’ve hated reading ever since.

#surveys #10000 questions #part 4

[lovemesomesurveys]

10,000 Questions part 4 created by tater-tots

Would you rather have macaroni salad or potato salad as a side dish? Macaroni salad.

How many pairs of winter gloves do you own? A few.

Which type of deli meat do you prefer? Turkey or bologna.

Where'd you go the last time that you took an Uber? It was during our Disney trip a couple years ago.

How many pounds can you lift on your own? I don't have the good upper body strength I used to have, so not very much. :/

Which foods do you typically pair with peanut butter? Chocolate, jelly, bananas.

Whenever you print something, is it typically in color or black and white? Probably black and white. It's been quite awhile since I've printed anything.

What would you put into your own homemade trail mix? Peanuts, cashews, m&ms, maybe some Chex.

Do you know anyone with two different colored irises? Possibly.

Can you reach the top shelves in your home, or is it a struggle? It's a struggle, so I either ask someone or use my grabber thingy.

Do you prefer to use headphones or earbuds? Wireless earbuds.

Do you own any complete television series on DVD? Which ones? Yes, I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Which sneaker do you typically put on first? I think the left.

What can you see when you glance out the closest window? A tree slightly blowing in the breeze and the top of my neighbor's fence and roof.

Have you ever participated in any sort of a protest? What was it about? No.

What was the last thing to make you laugh until you cried? I haven't laughed like that in a very long time.

Toilet paper - are you a folder or a scruncher? Folder.

If you could own your own business, what would you sell? I wouldn't want to own my business and I don't make or do anything I could sell.

What's your favorite flavor potato chip? Andy Capp's Cheddar Fries chips.

What is one vegetable that you will never eat? Asparagus.

Do you like nuts in your chocolate? I like certain ones like peanut M&Ms and Mr. Goodbar.

Who pinched your butt last? No one.

What's your favorite way to eat an egg? Sunny-side, over-easy, and deviled.

What's your favorite type of seafood, if any? None.

Have you ever found a hair or a bug in your food? Gahhhh, yes.

If you had the money to do so, which room of your home would you renovate next? Mine.

Do you have a garage? If so, what's in it? Yeah. It's our storage and where we do the laundry.

Would you rather play field hockey or ice hockey, and why? Neither.

Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? Nope.

Do you personally know anyone who is currently incarcerated? Yes.

Have you ever had your glasses broken before? How? Yeah, I think I ran them over.

If you have contacts, did you ever have a fear of accidentally poking yourself in the eye? I have no interest in contacts, just the idea of putting them in freaks me out.

Do you have a favorite bird? No.

Who is your favorite superhero? Basically all the Marvel ones.

When's the last time you sharted yourrself? You ask some very tmi questions dude like why does anyone care to know when someone did that. Ew.

How many of your family member live out of state or in a different country? Just a few.

Who does the yardwork at your home? My dad.

How often can you not fall back asleep when you're woken up in the middle of the night? My sleep has been messed up for a long time.

Were you someone who used to enjoy purchasing school supplies? Yesss.

What is one of your favorite childhood memories? Playing Barbies all day.

What is something you wish you had insurance on? Hmm.

How often do you read a book? (for pleasure) All the time. I go through books pretty fast and then start another.

Have you ever been skiing before? No.

Would you rather visit a museum or a gallery, and why? Museum. I really enjoy historical type museums.

Have you ever skipped school? I did sometimes in college.

Did you attend many sleepovers as a child? I only had sleepovers with my cousins cause that's what I felt comfortable with.

Who's the last person you got a card for? What was the occasion? My brother's birthday.

Have you ever said Said...?

When's the last time you made a s'more? It's been years.

Do you remember to use bug spray in the summertime? Can't forget because of all the damn flies, gnats, and mosquitos.

Do you have any college loans to still pay off? No.

Do you believe in celebrating Your questions are missing parts for some reason.

If you had to teach a class, what would it be about? I wouldn't.

Do you like to go ice skating during the winter? I don't go ice skating.

What is your opinion on sex before marriage? Do what you want that works for you.

Are you typically the heartbreaker or the heartbreakee? Heartbreak-ee.

Would you rather read Twilight or Harry Potter? I actually read all the Twilight books and none of the Harry Potter books. :X I've only seen all the Harry Potter movies.

What is something you're curious about but never have the courage to ask? *shrug* I just Google everything.

What could you confidently give at least a 5-minute speech about? It didn't matter how well I knew the topic, giving speeches and presentations always made me a complete nervous wreck.

Would you rather write on a chalkboard or a whiteboard? Whiteboard.

What's the last concert you attended? Green Day back in 2009.

What was the last compliment you received? What was it? From who? I don't even remember.

Is there anyone out there who you truly hate? No one I know.

Do you know of any cats who like to play fetch? No.

When's the last time you had a bloody nose? Never.

Can you walk on stilts? Well, no.

Can you successfully complete any yo-yo tricks? Nope. I had a hard time just getting it to go up and down lol.

How much of your day is spent listening to music? I hardly ever listen to music anymore and this has been going on now for over a year, it's so weird. I only ever listen to it when in the car, which isn't that often.

Would you enjoy going deep sea diving? Nooooooo. That just sounds terrifying.

How good are you at memory match games? I haven't played a game like that in a long time.

Do you like rollercoasters? I only do Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and the Car's rollercoaster at Disneyland.

What electronic would you personally be able to survive without? I'd get rid of the TV cause I'd just watch stuff on my laptop or phone if I had to.

Approximately how many books do you own? I'm not even going to attempt to count.

What's the longest the power has gone out in your town? Just a few hours, fortunately.

Have you ever had your wisdom teeth removed? Yes.

What's the last thing you complained about? My headache earlier.

Can you do a cartwheel? No.

Do you have a favorite day of the week? They all just blend basically for me.

How long has it been since you wore a friendship bracelet? It's been several years.

Would you rather do mini-golf, laser tag, or midnight bowling? I guess midnight bowling.

Do you prefer bunnies with straight ears or lop ears? I don't have a preference. Not even something I've even thought about.

Are you a superstitious person? I try not to be, but admittedly I sometimes don't want to say certain things cause I don't want to jinx it or whatever and say "knock on wood" out of like habit.

What's the last thing that someone else had to help you carry? Packages.

Are you ticklish? Just my neck.

Have you ever had to evacuate your home due to natural disaster? No.

Do you snore a lot when you sleep? I don't think I snore, but I don't know.

Does going to any type of doctor appointment give you anxiety? Yes. Any appointment does. I'm just an anxious person.

Do you typically wear belts with your pants? I never wear a belt.

Have one of your parents ever accidentally left you in a store before? No.

If you were able to know when you were going to die, would you want to know ahead of time? Absolutely not.

When did you start your first period? I was 13.

Do you prefer pants with buttons or snaps? I only wear leggings now to be honest, but the jeans I would wear have a zipper and a button.

Is it okay to color outside the lines? Do what you want.

What's your favorite number? 8.

Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No.

Briefly describe your last encounter with a Karen. I don't deal with customers, but I hear enough horror stories from my mom who works at Walgreens. The audacity and just how completely shameless and downright rude people can be is baffling.

How much do you tip your waiter/waitress? At least 15%, sometimes more. I'm pretty generous with my DoorDash deliverers.

What was your worst subject in school? Always math.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #10000 questions part 4

[mistfunk]

MiSTiGRAM: @picrotoxin has done a lot of heavy lifting this month, toiling away in the #ANSIart mines to come up with some truly extraordinary specimens. This one taps a palette distinctively used in MIRCart circles, and is variously described as "sharting the rainbow" and "unicorn diarrhea". You can find plenty more great computer art along these lines in the new MiST0420 artpack collection, viewable in full over at @sixteen_colors' Web gallery. https://instagr.am/p/B-e9t4On8dB/

#IFTTT #Instagram

[dexiarchia]

When I accidentally farted with something. Haha

[nelsonsledge]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZX1GXeE4mg&feature=share

Passive Aggressive "fears" i will not go, not lost in translation, nor stray,or sway from a souls hopefulll little scream. Dance "R" FasterPussycat Tongues slip, deep s*it iinBetWeen the wrong and the right,righteous and the go with the stones being thrown. Fictions found between lines of care, shares and reasons,disabled pts ect. ADD+a few, shake well, take two and call on me tomorrow. Neilsons lime 🍋 in the coconut 🌴 mix'boat-up u put da lime in da coconut and then you'll fell better. My comment is made ind'D out of empathy for alll shiny lights of positive intent. T.Y. Women all you shiny beacons of light, a bad speller idk if i ahhh, hope I didn't just spell 🥓 nope, thank you spell assist. You rock, You2B for not deleting to many of my grateful for releasing of #1 mouthful of cavities #2 (n0)*hit,no pooh pun intended just then, but welll, now it's the boogeyman picking his nose just cuz, beetle geuse x 3 boo, boo boo, berry, fan Anna fairy,foe fairy ohhh BTW, I mentioned Beetle Juice that "two" 💩 lol weee, having fun YET I digress four I after stating Y, said in reference to butt mistaken in thought pictures was "Feeling a lil anxious dotdotdot if you know what I mean, n0? Well let me pleas... eXplain myself or whatever, spell ass, that meself, yeah BETTER, know your role,roll.. uNo pilsberry dough boy looks like Stay Puff right? Right? Answer Me!!! lol No, be kind, rewind and proceed, YES! You May, OKAy the long way choose, the poem path less... yes any hoot, it's that Green Thing, no not the back, the front, the Mask wit Jimmy thing Carry, rubberface precludes, name that Jam, that 80s show what, nO class of Carter, you gems from the Peanut Gallery. Non Political though idk what the words sung sang when angry faces make frowns. Free Clown! BTW, make up included. Mr&Mrs NutAhhMaker aka Joe Dirts parents need to quit them pitching on the e-channel, U like that one, free to monopolize all the boardwalk empires, SORRY UNO, RISK , nope never played it, watched though, Xmas envy We did have CrossBows and Catapults, the trick is doubling up the rubber bands and tightening or substituting the standard with small, less then. Red Rider look out, them there flying saucers will not only take an eye out, but lodge itself right in the axis of the HEPPA-Hippocampus. Thanks for that little factoid Dr S. So do we feel all better now? I know it's not yet tomorrow, but Neilson F.U. remedies doodoo12 pun fun endings on that little "SHART" (FX's) adult cartoon Archer {PAM} props, Nash Tag twalkE, and sealab, drop a smoky and the bandit trans am, cell phone "i 4 safety's sake , have Dr sorta Cregger blendem together in fort kick ass, Episode?🦂and You got yourself a...wait a second ,I have something for that... darn it. PAMMMMMM! Olay n0, olives newton JOHN, nonono, its Butter, n0, par-K Can you believe that s*it mr wimple, and "QUIT SQUEEZING THE Gg.dD SHARMIn. Does a bear s*it in the woods? :Quiet Forest? T.P. Made of... tree hugger side: normal side HEMP/FLACKS lol k I know, board but, butt speaking of, I got cracked for not doing my homework sooooooooooooooooooooooooooO many times, 🐝 the bees in the kitchen exhaust wouldn't let me get it, 6th grade failed attempt. Three swings from Gets, or was it Canter, n0 canter was 7-8 seXton, sadists. Ok 👋 bye bye now, you go way and me will fix it up all nice guy like ok, and den.. n0 andDen Guppy looking for me car! Dude, you don't have a car! What, a car... No Andean Dude, where is my mind... with the naked chick on the Pixies cd/album/...cassette ahhh 8trac... n0 you went to far, fast forward den. Yepyepyep

[the-meme-monarch]

#the shart gallery

[jostar]

#shart gallery #stone ocean

[theliterateape]

Las Vegas Diary - Part June

by Dana Jerman

Dang kids, I’m hot. Fussy, orange-sweating-tongue-lolling emoji hot.

After what would have been my parents 43rd wedding anniversary, I walk next to the highway and watch Friday traffic. So many people at speed looking down at their phones. The sick magic of this operable chaos astounds me in the shining late midday. 

I am one drink in (my shirt reads “hangovers are normal”) pausing at a new vantage point along Sahara Avenue, feeling gritty and irritable with 99 degree heat, wishing my apartment complex pool hadn’t closed early today for inexplicable reasons. 

Standing against an aqua blue wall under an awning with a found Juul in my pocket feeling messily modern, I know there are a lot of landmarks I already wish were still here. A whole lot of people who are somewhere between less than twice my age and born in the 90’s feel the exact same way.

The long-gone Stardust comes to mind as my gaze limps toward the red curving skyline imprint of shiny new Resorts World Hotel and Casino, what sits in its footprint mere weeks from grand opening.

Vegas can’t cease but remind you of its youth, its folly, itself. It reinvents to capture. To crudely ensnare.

I walk thru a portion of the casino floor at the Strastosphere that smells like burnt popcorn and diarrhea. Or maybe that’s just the Starbucks.

Seems like we’re back to “normal” the moment the suited-up on-site time-shart doofuses start to engage me as a tourist again. There they are with their complimentary-stay-helicopter-ride-flavored aggressive promises of player’s card points gone by. Bobble heads chatting out cash back bonuses on cheap joy. 

It’s all like some ramrod nostalgia, gone only to return another day. Trapping you so hard you either choke like a lover and finish immediately, or get hooked on the chase and never really leave. (Back in the parking lot the weathered guy, wearing too much Old Spice and blueblockers who just got out of his car and darted past me into the gambling hall bar, fits into the latter category.)

And then there’s always something about the “get rich quick” element that tickles folks imaginations in this corner of the known world. Plenty of innocent or otherwise well-meaning haphazardly entrepreneurial people arrive here to start businesses…

Not something I’ll ever do, but I can go along and conceptualize. For instance:

The Las Vegas Chapel Museum. Museums are breaking out everywhere here like a case of liver spots. The history of weddings and the wedding chapel carve their own storied path and perhaps deserve a permanent installation downtown somewhere. The most obvious spot being Benny Binion’s old freestanding dilapidated dude ranch out on Bonanza Road. Ample space for parking. That rundown two-story eyesore is just begging for some protected heritage status to revitalize both local and tourist interest. If not, then a solid rotating show among the small but strong gallery contingent present around town might do.

Or… something way more up my proverbial alley… The ‘DOUBBLE B’ BAR-N-BROTHEL. That’s a good name, right? ‘Doubble B’ for… Boobs?

Where would it be, in Caliente, NV maybe? Only counties with 700,000 or fewer residents can partake in Nevada’s newest and loveliest, freshest and finest. I dream up an edifice built to suit: Outbuildings exclusively for super and madam by the terraced and trellised garden patio. An open air octagon spa by invitation only with mani-pedi/massage technicians available. Dance and disco suite next to screening room next to a voyeur room with a wall of CCTVs next to a mini pole dance room with a sunken rail- kiva style- covered in mirrors and crushed velvet.

Think of a chintzy one-color logo and all the cool souvenirs: calendars, coffee mugs, wrapped cigarillos, sweatpants, a Nevada brothel board game, bottle openers, bottles of hot sauce, paper fans, personal care kits, magnets, smoochy keychains, air fresheners and SOCKS!

As madam, I’d institute a “pretend you’re in Japan and lose the shoes” policy at the 2nd foyer. This would be where customers would choose their lady escort from a wall of interactive monitors featuring a comprehensive profile for each with stats and pics and short video introductions. You could stand in the 2nd foyer and watch them all if you wanted for as long as you wanted. If you change your mind, there is a side exit so you don’t have to leave the way you came.

When you’re ready to choose the chaperone for your stay, simply type in your ticket number- issued in the first foyer where you submitted your ID at the surveillance window- and choose a drink option. Your escort, wearing any house shoes she sees fit, will then arrive to welcome you into the main room- the massive hunting lodge-esque open lounge with fireplace and bar- presenting your beverage while assigning your footwear and ticket to a ventilated cubby at the aforementioned adjoining exit.

Guests enter one at a time. Ladies arrive at 2pm for a 3pm opening. No further guests admitted after 3am. Soft close at 7-7:30am. No “sleepovers”, although secure parking is included in the $30 daily parking fee for up to 2 consecutive nights. Private parties of 7 or more can rent the entire space at a 5-hr flat rate with a 7-day advanced notice. All clients will be asked to sign a waiver. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone at any time. Smile you’re on camera. Tip your dancer.

Out of the hideaway space during rotating evenings off, the ladies could participate in “ShE-Bay” a highest-bidder webcam service wherein said worker has assigned a date and length to her exclusive private viewing session(s)… Sounds fun, yeah?

Maybe I’d be a decent businesswoman after all.

Nah, who am I kidding. Must be the heat talking.

#vegas baby #Las Vegas Nevada #June #walking tour #business is business #starbucks coffee #Friday night #brothel #madam #conceptual experience #bobble heads

[srtlife]

SOURCE: NXGonzoVideo

I can almost guarantee this guy “sharted” at least! Talk about running $80 thousand up the wall! All I can say is don’t ever let anyone tell you that your Challenger SRT Redeye can’t turn! Nice save… 💪🏾#MOPARORNOCAR!

“This Hellcat Redeye came out to have some fun at Amarillo Dragway and it was almost and very expensive run here!”

PICS:

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

#SRTLIFE

VIDEO: When Racing On Street Tires Bites You Square in the Ass! | Challenger SRT Redeye😳 SOURCE: NXGonzoVideo I can almost guarantee this guy "sharted" at least! Talk about running $80 thousand up the wall!

#CARS #CHALLENGER #CHRYSLER #DODGE #HELLCAT #HEMI #loud #MOPAR #RACE #srtlife #SUPERCHARGED #TORQUE #TRACK

[freethenickel]

Norval Foundation

It was a cold and stormy Monday afternoon. Our car couldnt drive in so our boots scampered through the puddles towards the entrance, we couldn’t exactly stop and examine the building from outside. However upon finding cover and looking around i noticed the walls ahead of me and the sheer scale of everything, from the grand shopping area to the height of the ceiling. The higher a ceiling is, the fancier a place is (or is trying to be). Fact. So I guess you could say my first impression (and impression throughout) was the sheer grandeur of the building itself. It feels as if the nature of the building is the real sculpture to be shown off.

Walking into what appeared to be the Contemporary Gallery Space I wandered around looking at works, Igshaan and a lot of international artists from other parts of the world (Liza Lou etc). I was struggling a little to understand a coherent meaning. I sat down on a fancy long glass bench. I voiced my struggles to Guy. He pointed above me. Above me Norval had placed the title of the show and a very decorated text explaining the relevance of each work within the show. I actually found it rather useful, though I did not particularly connect with the concept of the show. It also gladly explained who was in charge of curating etc. I was also very happy to see someone leading a tour around. I would have joined but I felt as though Id be looked down upon by the wrinkled white raisins taking the tour and letting out the occasional “ah I see.”

I was quite perplexed by Norval, even from the day I saw the sign on the construction site. A well-funded art museum? With international works? In Tokai? Why? I was and remain confused, though I have an opinion that may be unpopular. The Norval foundation is well funded by numerous companies, trusts and individuals. Ranging from NWS (A commercial quantity surveying company) to Stonehage Fleming (A family wealth managing company). This can all be seen in the sheer affluence of the foundation. I hath ne’er sharted in a fancier toilet. I found myself unsurprised by the visitors, constituting mostly of wealthy rich elderly white women from the surrounding neighborhoods, estates and so fourth. To a certain extent i know that the building does have influence (maybe not the extent it boasts as a “lifeline for the future of art in South Africa”) but it boasts accessibility that i cannot see possible. The tours around Norval can cost up to R1000 per head and entrance is R140 (though I will commend it for the free entrance Mondys till 5). This is also matched with the location as its situated in suburban central in a fairly wealthy area. I believe Norval serves more as an accessory to itself and its surrounding area. I found myself walking through the building feeling as if the art was an excuse for the building. As if the art was the foundation and the art was the building. Its grand, but not good.

SPECTRALITY, SORCERY AND THE SPIRIT

The ‘point’ of this show, in terms of the works and how it has been curated is to call fourth and speak to a spirituality that has remained always. It speaks to an African spirituality, one that has remained, through hardships and Western influence. It calls fourth the spirit, the magic and the mysticism that never faded away. 

The two works above I chose as they are both painterly works I enjoy.

In order they are:

Trevor Mahkoba, They were Deeply in Love, 2002 (Oil on Board).

Gladys Mgudlandlu, Suburb (with Table Mountain), 1964 (Gouache on paper)

In terms of formal aspects. These works differ greatly, in terms of medium we can see how. Trevors work is very flat, with strongly defined colour figures. Opposing this Gladys’ work is layered with very gestural brushstrokes that collide to create areas of colour and varying textures (this probaby explains why she used Gouache as it dries faster than Oil).

Trevors work seems comical, showing to skeletons on fire making love. Titled ‘They were Deeply in love.’ It could speak to how they are both incinerated but both so in love they are dedicated to sticking the act through. it could also refer to if it Heterosexual skeletons the love they feel in the act is deep. The title could also refer to the two pigeons kissing in the corner, as apposed to the two lovemaking skeletons.

Gladys’ painting depicts a scumbled neighborhood under the blanket of Table Mountain. It shows a suburb she herself could never see in person as it was made in the times of Pre-democratic South Africa.

I love Trevor’s work for the comical ambiguity of it. The style of painting doesnt tickle my fancy but the imagery and title do. I see it as successful.

I love Gladys’ work for the subject matter and formal qualities, it appeals to a manner of painting I connect with and i see it as successful. One could also argue that both works are successful as they now hang on the wall of an affluent art institution.

PULLING AT THE THREADS

Downstairs in Norval is a hall filled with colourful and elaborate pieces from varying artists around the world. They all share a common theme that they speak to a aspect of making not forgotten. The works deal with ‘every little piece’ as they all refer to in these modern times how one (and these artists) create with now lesser seen mediums such as beads, fabrics and so on.

Liza Lou, Axis Defeat, 2007-8 (Beads)

This work is constructed of 1000s of small beads constructing the image of an elaborate Persian rug that degenerates as ones eyes move down the frame.

This work speaks to the lack of recognition women receive who creates elaborate and labour intensive work. These luxury items exist for the affluent and those who consume them do not look past the object itself to those who create them. As you see through the item it seems to distort hideously.

I love this work for its aesthetic and conceptual qualities. I see its depiction as extremely successful as its ability to attach concept to visual is seamless.

I associate this work as painterly as its appearance seems fluid in its visual aspect. The colours run and flow, mimicking the qualities of paint.

The show was curated curiously. It had all types of mediums and i believe that this is why separate works were spaced a fair distance apart (10m or so). You cannot stand in the room and see all the works around you, for me this took away a lot from the show. Each piece was constructed from tiny small interconnected items. I wish this show mirrored that in its curation.

I feel as though it could have contributed to the idea of the show if there were more pieces or if the pieces were close together. The varying mediums did go towards the concept but beyond that. Better could have been done.