#the slash writes itself

[redbuddi]

These two would do numbers on this site if this series came out today

#black jack reread #a doctor who saves lives while pretending not to care and a doctor who kills while pretending to care #cmon ppl the slash writes itself

[owtenen]

life series etho is such…. an enigma to me…..

TLDR; ethos strategies in the life series are like a clock, eventually he’s bound to repeat himself. he deserves to be put in a test tube and studied under a microscope

in third life, Etho didn’t really have any true allies. Like sure, he was part of the Dogwarts alliance, and maybe he teamed with Impulse for a bit, but the wool fort was his. he built that and just let Impulse hang around. He wasn’t committed to anyone fully the entire time, and when he died, he died burning at the hands of his supposed ally who was too focused on winning to actually hold up his end of the bargain. (i could on and on about impulse and his poor decisions in third life, but this isn’t about him)

i like to think that because of this, he learned to do better in last life. making strong alliances with those he felt like he could trust, and giving all he had into his relationship (whether you interpreted it as /p or /r) with bdubs. he had team BEST, and he never ever betrayed them for anything, even when bdubs did. he survived because he was carful and he had his friends. he was safe in his fort and he did what he had to do to survive. his other alliances were fleeting, even fake in the case of scar, but he never stopped fighting for BEST, at least until he realized he had to let them go to have a chance at winning.

perhaps he learned from impulse in third life. maybe he realized that alliances really only existed until you had a better chance of winning with someone else. he was still green when the rest of BEST was red or eliminated, and he realized fast that the best way to win would be to stick with the rest of the yellows. he betrayed his true ally’s to win, and in the end it didn’t matter. he allowed Bdubs to die because of his false promises, and he couldn’t even secure the victory.

double life is when everything changed. etho was soul bound to Joel, the man that killed him in Last Life. they hadn’t ever really interacted all that much, but they knew each other by reputation alone. despite considering leaving Joel for Impulse and Bdubs, once he learned that Joel had made them a boat, he was committed to their relationship (again, either /p or /r) until the very end. he burned the entire server down for joel, and he followed him everywhere and protected him at all costs. he betrayed his ally’s in last life and it cost him not only the victory, but also his humanity (!!!!), and i wonder if he promised himself he wouldn’t allow the same thing to happen with Joel.

If the ship burns, everything burns. that’s what joel said when the red wars were raging and the server was crumbling down. etho was prepared to burn again, but this time, he would burn with his ally. it was just too bad that that blinding courage was their downfall.

now we’re on limited life, and you see him doing similar things to what he did in third life. he has ally’s similar to third life, meaning he’s not fully committed to any of them. while officially he is part of team TIES, his (cough… here we go) family commitments to the Clockers are making that quite difficult. he’s playing multiple sides again, but like in third life, he’ll eventually have to pick a side and watch as his ally’s fight for the very last second.

#life series #limited life #life series 4 #ethoslab #trafficblr #third life #double life #last life #i’m so normal about him #SLASH LIE I AM NOT #I AM GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE ABOUT IT #THIS SHIT WRITES ITSELF PEOPLE #my writing #i guess

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(*watching football and someone just scored a touchdown, much celebration*

me: do you think hes best friends with the quarterback? and they kiss in the locker room?

partner: and handies in the shower)

#he gets it #tight ends writes itself #im tellin ya #no one gets to be surprised when one day theyre walking #and see a sports romance novel called kisses in the lockerroom and bjs in the shower #slash tight ends and wide receivers #no one

[meteoritesystem]

what do i even talk abt in therapy tmrw . like

#theres too much wrong with me and im convinced all of it is unfixable so i dont bring it up . #surely that in and of itself is a symptom #like maybe ill just talk abt my suicidal thoughts. and if i get hospitalized i dont have to turn in that creative writing assignment #suicide tw #slash half joking . #text #neg

[parttimecosmichorror]

Grabs you by the shoulders HUMMINGBIRD SALAMANDER BY JEFF VANDERMEER AND Y/N BY ESTHER YI ARE REALLY JUST THE SAME TYPE OF STORY IN DIFFERENT FONTS. THE RECKLESS AND RELENTLESS PURSUIT OF AN IDEAL, OF AN IDEA, OF A FRAGMENT OR A FIGMENT OF A PERSON WHO YOU SO EARNESTLY BELIEVE YOU KNOW. EVEN AS IT DESTROYS YOU. EVEN AS IT TEARS YOUR LIFE APART. AN ALMOST RELIGIOUS ZEAL FOR AN IDOL. THE SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCE OF THAT IDOL LEAVING MANY BROKEN OR OTHERWISE CHANGED IRREVERSIBLY. AN IMAGINATION OF AN IDYLLIC REALITY. UNRELIABILITY OF THOUGHT, OF MEMORY. A WOMAN REALIZING SHE NEVER LOVED THOSE WHO WERE CLOSE TO HER AS SOON AS SHE STARTS TO LOVE A CONCEPT. LOVING THE IDEA OF LOVING AN IDEA. DO YOU UNDERSTAND

#.txt #hummingbird salamander #guess i should come up with a tag for the esther yi book that doesn’t get mistaken for fanfiction writing #uhhhhhhh #maybe wse (why slash enn) #wse #anyways. drop suggestions for similar books if you have any #there’s something so mesmerizing about seeing a woman (or other protagonist) destroy themselves in pursuit of an idea that might not exist #wse to me is like a trainwreck in slow motion #it’s not horror (far from horror) but you feel dread building in you the whole time #you’re gripped in fear over Something happening #and then it never happens #our unnamed protagonist finds her idol and realizes he doesn’t compare to who she thought he was #it’s like watching a 20-car pileup play out in painstakingly slow motion and then suddenly resolve itself to a scratch #anticlimactic but weirdly cathartic nonetheless #‘jane’ acts similarly except she experiences real and active danger from people just like her #and she never meets silvina #only finds her body #i suppose moon might as well have been a body to the unnamed narrator #in fact he might have been more useful to her dead than alive #when he disappeared he might as well have died #just. god #those books did something to me #i need more books that will do something to me

[lesspopped]

I’ve seen more and more people, Australian and not, pushing back on this the past couple of years, and I think most of my followers already know it, but since I just ran into it, it seemed worth mentioning: generally, if you’re discussing alpha/beta/omega tropes or fic or dynamics, it’s best to either write it out fully, as alpha/beta/omega, or call it omegaverse. or A/O, or A/O/B, or…almost anything else, really. the commonly-used abbreviation/acronym for “alpha/beta/omega” is a very offensive racist slur in Australia. (yes, even when you put slashes between the letters — that makes it clearer that you’re using it in the fannish context, not as a racist slur, but it doesn’t really obscure the word itself. I know for me, if a new AU concept took the world by storm, a criminal AU where the possible roles were, say, killer/investigator/kidnapper/executioner, slashes between the letters of the abbreviation wouldn’t actually help hide the antisemitic slur or make me feel much more comfortable with it, and I think a lot of us would not be thrilled if it were slurs we’re more familiar with!)

I’ve been seeing “omegaverse” used a lot more recently, and heard more people mentioning it in general, so I think this is catching on. but I just opened a silly little uquiz and then immediately closed it because the very first question used the abbreviation, so for people who might not have heard this yet, now you know!

#being fandom #psa #jules.txt

[bluebeary-jay]

Let me (put my lips to somethin')

Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: 5 times you wanted to kiss Joel, and 1 time it actually happened (or: your relationship with Joel over the years)

Tags: 5+1 babeyyy, VERY self-indulged (i just want this man to call me his babygirl 😫), FLUFF, tooth-rotting fluff even, a bit of angst, age gap, PINING, i could write several fics out of this but no we're doing 5+1! also reader has she/her pronouns (i tried not to but at some point it was getting difficult not to use any :( sorry guys)

Warnings: descriptions of violence and wounds, cursing, getting drunk, David (which is a warning in itself), allusions to SA (but nothing happens)

Word count: ~9.4K (jesus i really got carried away im not doing that again for at least some time)

A/N: i am baack!! i finally had time to finish this monster and i guess it's ready to post <3 i absolutely ADORE 5+1 fics and always wanted to write one on my own. so here it is!! hope you enjoy because i loved writing it

1. boston qz

You bit your forearm harder, trying to hold back the tears of pain. The man kneeling in front of you glanced up.

“Bite the sleeve of your jacket. Otherwise they’re gonna think you’re infected and shoot you on sight.”

You didn’t answer but nodded, knowing that he was right. Holding your breath for a moment, you took a handful of the material and bit down on it, shutting your eyes tightly. The excruciating pain in your leg was hard enough to endure, but for the first place with it competed an absolutely unbearable look of poorly concealed pity (which you initially took for irritation) on the face of Tess’ friend.

It was through her that you met Joel. At the beginning he wasn’t very keen about letting you work with them but slowly warmed up to your presence – at least as much as a man like Joel could. Most of the time he was grumbling and, in all fairness, looking slightly angry but you’ve soon understood that he’s actually a pretty good guy. Caring. Funny, if he lets you see this side of him. Also really fucking handsome, but that was beside the point.

The job was supposed to be an easy one – just meet with a couple of Zeke’s people, pick up the smuggled items and exchange them for some meds and ammunition. However, none of you expected some random rogue group to ambush you on your way back and attempt to steal the cargo.

Tess has managed to get away just before soldiers showed up, alerted by the sound of gunfire way past the curfew. Before they could spot any of you, Joel quickly pulled you into one of the nearby buildings after one of the strangers slashed your thigh, leaving you unable to run.

So now here you were. Bleeding from your leg and making a pathetic crybaby out of yourself before the very eyes of the man you respected and lowkey had a small crush on.

Speaking of whom, Joel gave you a look of sympathy before squeezing the stapler handle again, ejecting another staple into your skin. You tensed and a broken cry escaped your lips, your breathing rapid.

“It’s alright,” he murmured, putting his other hand on your knee and rubbing slightly. “Just two more and you’ll be good to go.”

You breathed out a humorless laugh and wiped your face, sniffling.

“Just get on with it. This is way more embarrassing than it should be.” In the corner of your eye you saw him look up. He didn’t move the hand in which he held the staple gun yet, so you took this moment to steady your breath and slumped against the wall. “You probably think it’s pretty pathetic, but in my defense I never had such a gash closed with staples like that.”

“M’not thinkin’ that,” he retorted and you blew a raspberry.

“Sure. Tess told me about some of your forays, you know? You could probably get run over by a damn tank and walk it off like it’s nothing.”

Joel was silent for some time. You wiped your cheeks and motioned for him to eject the last staples at the edge of the deep cut in your thigh. He mumbled to you to get ready and you took a deep breath, bracing yourself for the pain.

It hurt like hell and you couldn’t help the tears flowing from your eyes, but soon enough it was over.

The sound of shouting from outside drew your attention from the pain in your leg for a couple of seconds. You tensed up, listening intently if the soldiers weren’t busting in the building you were in, but the noises soon went past you.

“Y’know, if my brother was here, he’d have told you about the first time I had a wound stitched outside of the controlled conditions,” Joel spoke up unexpectedly, unpacking his backpack in search of clean bandages. “I nearly bit off my thumb when he was tryin’ to sew my foot back together.”

You couldn’t help but snort at his confession and he glanced at you from the corner of his eye with a slight smirk.

“Is that true?”

Joel huffed with fake indignation and lifted his left hand to your eyes, twisting it so that the dim light from outside illuminated the side of it. Above and below the small bone at the base of his thumb appeared very light and irregular lines. You looked at his face with an unbelieving smile.

“When was that?”

“Ah… Just before the outbreak, I’d say.”

“And what happened to your foot?”

“Construction work. I don’t remember exactly what that was.”

“But how hard did you have to chomp down on your thumb for it to be still visible?” you asked, laughing, to which he chuckled and shrugged.

“Hey, don’t judge. If it was Tommy who was fixin’ your leg, you’d probably end up without a couple of fingers too, just for good measure.”

He found the bandage and motioned for you to straighten your leg at the knee. You watched him carefully as he looked over your bare thigh and the (not very pretty to look at) sutured wound. The leg of your pants was cut and tossed away earlier so that Joel could stitch you up freely.

“So you have a brother. Is he really that bad at treating wounds?” you asked to distract yourself from the awkwardness of the whole situation, though Joel seemed surprisingly calm.

“He got better with time,” your colleague answered and then looked up at you. “But I didn’t tell you this to bitch about Tommy’s skills.”

“Oh?” you nudged him with your other leg. “So what moral should I draw from this story?”

You clearly saw him suppressing a smile when he shook his head lightly.

“Don’t feel bad that it hurts,” he murmured and the snicker disappeared from your lips. “I’ve seen looks like the one on your face plenty before. It’s a fuckin’ big gash, I’d be worried if you didn’t show any signs of pain.”

You couldn’t come up with any snarky remarks and just blinked when Joel sent you a quick, if not a bit self-conscious, smile, like he wasn’t used to reassuring someone else.

“The fact that you let your tears flow doesn’t make you any weaker,” he said even quieter than before. You still weren’t answering and he cleared his throat, apparently growing uncomfortable with your silence, then grabbed the bottle of alcohol. “I’m gonna pour some of that shit over your wound again. It’ll sting a bit.”

You observed without a word how he cleansed the gash and started to wind the bandage around your thigh.

Weirdly enough, you also noticed that you couldn’t stop glancing at his lips.

*****

2. bill and frank’s

“No. I said no, come back here!”

Giggles erupted from you as Joel tried (and failed) to grab you when you jumped over the couch. He sighed deeply as you made eye contact with him and, with a provocative smile, drank up the rest of the bottle before putting it down on the nearby table. The man looked so disappointed and done with you, it only made you laugh louder in your drunken state.

You two were staying for a couple of days at Bill and Frank’s heavenly place, which you looked forward to for weeks now. Originally Tess was supposed to go with you but there was a last-minute change of plans, and you made the journey alone with Joel. Not counting a few infected you stumbled upon on your way here, your venture was quite nice and after a delightful dinner with your hosts, you sneaked into Joel’s room with the bottle of wine Frank gave you and the stuff you smuggled yourself.

Joel didn’t seem to be having as much fun as you, though.

“I’m never drinkin’ with you again,” he muttered, sitting heavily on the couch with a grunt. You faked a pout, leaning over his head upside down and almost losing your balance.

“You’re grouchy because the stuff you brought tasted like shit.”

“And yet you drank most of it.”

“I didn’t,” you slurred, waltzing round the couch and grinning. “I’m feelin’ great.”

“Be careful or you’ll pick up my accent you so like pokin’ fun of.”

You snorted and flopped on the seat next to him. “Mhm, m’feelin’ fine and dandy,” you grumbled in the deepest voice you could make, ridiculously imitating his Texas drawl. “Yee-haw.”

“You’re the fuckin’ worst,” sighed Joel with exasperation but you could see a crooked smile tugging on his lips. You beamed and plopped down, laying your head on his lap. He peeked at you with his brows raised. “What are you doin’ now, you little devil?”

“Just resting,” you answered. The lamp behind Joel was blinding you with its light, so you covered your eyes with your hand to shield them. “Is that uncomfy for you? Do you want me to get up?”

“Nah. You can stay for a minute.”

As if wanting to make sure you won’t try to stand up, he laid his hand on your hair, brushing some of it to the back. You hummed and shivered when he gently scratched one specific spot on your scalp, and instinctively tilted your head, chasing his touch.

Joel snorted.

“You look like a goddamn cat.”

“Shut up,” you murmured in response, a small smile adoring your face. “It feels nice.”

You opened your eyes and once again shielded them from the lamp. Joel moved his head slightly to the side to block out the bothersome stimulus, causing you to giggle again.

“It looks like you have a halo ’round your head.” You lifted your arm and made a circle, brushing the side of his face when your hand plopped back down limply on your stomach. The older man huffed a smile, looking away to glance around the room.

“I’ll be really surprised if you remember anythin’ of what you’re sayin’ tomorrow.”

“Gimme a break,” you grumbled with a smile, not taking your eyes off him. Your hand raised itself to his face again, as if on its own accord, and brushed lightly the corner of his mouth and the stubble on his cheek. “It looks pretty.”

His brown irises flickered to you before he averted his gaze. With a hum you withdrew your hand and closed your eyes, your mind getting woozy from alcohol and tiredness.

Joel’s fingers were still running through your hair gently and you really hoped you’d remember it in the morning.

*****

3. road, somewhere in missouri

You had no idea how long you had been driving.

Ellie was asleep in the back seat and Joel was getting some well-deserved shut-eye after you volunteered to sit behind the wheel several hours ago. The clock on the dashboard was showing 4:07 and you planned on driving until the sun started to rise, then switching places with Joel.

That is, if you manage to stay awake.

You tried to drink some of the coffee Joel prepared beforehand to wake yourself up but it tasted horrible, leaving a too bitter taste on your tongue. Once you catched yourself closing your eyes for a second longer than intended and the car started to veer off course before you corrected it.

Yes, you were aware driving in this kind of state was extremely stupid, but you knew Joel was anxious to find his brother and drop Ellie off with the Fireflies as soon as possible. And you knew that if you wake him up he’ll insist on driving for the rest of the way himself, ignoring his own needs and exhaustion.

You risked a look to the side at his sleeping form. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his head propped against the headrest. Honestly, it looked like the man was just pretending to nap – his body seemed uptight, as if he was ready to spring into action at any second.

And he looked beautiful with his face bathed in the gray light of early morning. Like a painting you’d gladly admire for hours.

You sighed and cracked your neck, focusing on the road ahead of you. Several more hours to go. There was a gas tank in the back of the car, so you didn’t have to worry about that, and if you remembered correctly the map you and Joel studied earlier, you should get close to some bigger city in the late afternoon. Joel wanted to take the side roads and you agreed, but your supplies… Did you have enough of them? And what was the name of that city again…?

A hand grabbed the wheel and gently straightened the course when without you noticing the car started to veer too much to the left again.

You emerged from your reverie immediately and looked to the right at Joel who was now wide awake.

“You alright?” he asked with concern, and his voice had this enticing, raspy drawl to it that told you he really dozed off for a while.

“I’m so sorry,” you said quickly but quietly, not wanting to wake Ellie up. “I’m fine, promise.”

He eyed the tiredness on your face and the tight grip you had on the wheel.

“If you need to get some rest–”

“No, no, no. I can go on. Sorry you had to wake up.”

Joel grunted and stretched in the small space in the front seat and you tried really hard not to stare at how he craned his neck or at the way his muscles tensed, or at the strip of his skin revealed when his shirt rolled up…

“Pull over.”

You snapped out of your thoughts. “No. I told you I’m fine.”

“C’mon, darlin’, don’t make me wrestle with you in a movin’ vehicle.”

Either he had a clue about what this nickname was doing to you, or he was still half-asleep and it simply slipped out; but whether it was intentional or not, you couldn’t dream of opposing him now and with a defeated sigh (and burning neck) you pulled over, slowly bringing the car to a halt. You glanced backwards, but miraculously Ellie hadn’t woken up yet.

Joel looked you over with concern and you shut your eyes, laying your forehead on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry,” you repeated. “But I really can keep going, at least until the sun goes up.”

“We’re switchin’,” he just said, unfastening his seatbelt.

“Joel, no!” you hissed, but he ignored you and went around the hood of the car, stopping at your side and opening the door for you. “I’m not moving. You need to get some fucking rest.”

“I already did. Now scoot over.”

“No, I told you–”

“What’s going on? Are we there yet?”

Both of you looked back to see Ellie sitting up and rubbing her eyes. In a split second she went from half-awake to alert, and she eyed you and Joel suspiciously. “What’s going on?” she asked again.

“We’re switchin’ places,” Joel spoke up before you had a chance to answer the girl. “Our current driver is pretty tired.”

“I’m not!” you protested, glaring at him.

“You almost drove the car into a ditch.”

“Woah.” Ellie lifted her hands and puffed her cheeks in a nervous manner. “Just this time, I second Joel. I really don’t want to end up in a ditch, thank you very much.”

“You see?” Joel looked at you expectedly. “Outvoted.”

You squinted in the rearview mirror at the teen. “Traitor.”

Ellie just shrugged. With a heavy sigh you unfastened yourself and exited the car, but before you could go around it and take Joel’s previous place, he stuck his arm out, stopping you.

“Actually, Ellie, do you want to ride shotgun now?” he asked and nodded in your direction. “It’d do her good to lie down for a bit.”

“No,” you said firmly at the same time when Ellie agreed with an enthusiastic “hell yeah!”. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared at the pair. “You guys are in cahoots.”

“Boo-hoo,” Ellie had a mean smile on her face. “Get in the backseat and cry about it.”

“She’s so cheeky,” you murmured to Joel, trying to hide your smile, and by the look of it he had trouble doing that, too. You sighed and lifted your hands in surrender. “Alright, you two. You won.”

“Great.” Ellie grinned, then started walking off the street. “But give me a moment, dudes, I gotta pee,” she said before marching further into the field on the side of the road.

“Don’t go too far!” shouted Joel after her.

“Don’t drive off without me!”

With that Ellie disappeared behind a small hill and you turned back to your companion, scrunching your face at him. Joel shrugged and walked past you.

“C’mon. I’ll find you a blanket.”

You huffed but didn’t argue further, knowing nothing will change his mind. He could be stubborn as a mule sometimes.

You climbed into the backseat and waited for Joel to take out the blanket you took from Bill and Frank’s house from the back of the car. He opened the door next to your head and handed it over, waiting for you to unfurl it. You expected him to go take the driver’s seat right away, but he stayed in place. Only then you noticed the folded jacket he was holding in his hands.

He didn’t react at all to your raised eyebrows and questioning look, and just casually laid his jacket under your head to serve as a pillow. The gesture was so sweet it made you melt inside, and you just couldn’t stay mad at him.

“Promise me you’ll get some sleep.”

“Only if you and Ellie aren’t too loud,” you teased, trying to settle down the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. “If you start arguing about some stupid shit again, I’m taking the wheel from you by force.”

He smirked and squatted next to your seat, looking down at you with an amused expression.

“I’d like to see you try.”

You had to be really fucking tired, because for a split second you thought that Joel has just flirted with you. You hid your face in his jacket to partially conceal your smile, but it only made your face hotter because the material smelled of him so much.

“I could. You’re lucky I’m deciding to show mercy.”

“How gracious of you. I’m honored.

“But we’re swapping places when I wake up,” you added, looking at him as sternly as you could. He raised his eyebrows with a half-smile when a yawn escaped you immediately after. “I’m serious, Joel.”

“Sure, darlin’.” He leaned in and kissed your forehead before standing up. “Now sleep.”

You could only stare into space as he carefully closed the door next to your head and walked around the vehicle with heavy steps. The spot on your head where his lips touched your skin was tingling and you inhaled deeply to calm yourself down before he entered the truck again and fastened the seatbelt.

Joel put some cassette into the tape deck and turned the volume down even before the song started to play.

You closed your eyes and wrapped the blanket tighter around yourself, hiding the lower part of the face – and a blush spreading on your cheeks – under the cover.

*****

4. jackson

You looked out the window at the children pulling their sleds behind them and smiled at how happy and carefree they looked. Down the road you could just barely see the big Christmas tree in the square and for a moment it felt like the apocalypse had never happened.

“They’re pretty lucky to be growing up here,” you said quietly. Joel was closing and opening cabinets behind you, clearly looking for something.

“Not sure about it. But I guess it beats growin’ up in any of the QZ’s or Fedra’s barracks.”

After Joel’s sudden change of heart and Ellie’s confident decision that she’d rather travel with you both instead of Tommy, the younger Miller convinced his brother to stay one more day in Jackson. It was honestly a good idea because you doubted any of you three got any rest the previous night. You certainly didn’t, tossing and turning the entire time from worry.

Joel chuckled and the sound pulled you out of your thoughts.

“What did you find?” you asked. He was kneeling in front of one of the cabinets, holding a small box.

“Old cassettes. You want to listen to some music?”

“Sure.” You stood up with a smile. “It’ll be pretty atmospheric.”

Joel gave you a dirty look.

“I’m not putting on Christmas carols.”

“I don’t want to listen to Christmas carols. Find something good.”

He sighed and took out a carton box from the cabinet, and then started to rummage through it. “Alright, so what do you want?”

“You can choose. Pick something you think I’d like.” A thought struck you and you glanced around the living room, furrowing your brows. “Is there even any tape player in here or something like that?”

“Upstairs,” Joel mumbled absent-mindedly. “In Ellie’s room. We can go see if it works.”

Ellie was out exploring Jackson and you doubted she’ll be back very soon. You knelt down next to Joel, looking at him with a grin as he inspected the box, pulling out and reading some of the cassettes before putting them back down. You rested your chin on your hands.

“Just get anything,” you ushered after some time, to which he chuckled.

“You said to pick somethin’ you’d like. Gimme some time.”

“Do you think I’m that picky?”

“Of course you are.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t have to wait much longer before Joel stood up with a grunt and held out his hand to you. In the other one he held a white cassette.

“C’mon. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna love this one.”

You took his hand with excitement and let yourself be pulled to your feet. It’s been so long since you’ve been able to listen to some music – well, maybe not as long, but you missed it regardless – that you felt a bubbly joy at the thought of hearing something new.

And more than that, something that Joel has picked specifically for you. Doesn’t matter that you had to ask him.

You went upstairs to the room that was currently Ellie’s bedroom and Joel bent down, inserting the cassette into the tape player. He looked over his shoulder at you with a small smile and you beamed right back.

A loud, scratchy sound rang out.

You winced and Joel furrowed his brows. He took the cassette out, checked the empty slot and the cassette itself, and then made sure the power was on.

The first notes started to play, but they sounded distorted, like a scratched record. Joel cursed and tried again, but there must’ve been something wrong with the device, because no matter what he did, the music didn’t play right.

He tried again and again, and finally you decided to put a stop to it. You placed your hand on his shoulder.

“Leave it, Joel. It’s okay.”

“Just my fuckin’ luck,” he muttered, not turning around. “Of course Tommy gave us a place without a working cassette player.”

“It’s okay,” you repeated. You wanted to say something like ’the song probably isn’t even worth fussing over’, but the words got stuck in your throat. He picked it for you to listen to, of course it was worth it. “Maybe I just wasn’t meant to hear it.”

The man worried his lip and you quickly averted your gaze. He straightened up and put his hands on his hips, sighing.

“Nonsense,” he answered, looking intently at the device like he wanted to get it to work by sheer willpower. “You wanted to hear it.”

“Well, I did.” You got embarrassed for whatever reason, not knowing what to say. “But there’s not really anything we can do about that. It’s no big deal.”

Joel’s jaw twitched and he turned to look at you thoughtfully. You offered him a lopsided smile, but he didn’t move a muscle and you could almost imagine small gears turning in his head when he had this expression on his face.

“You okay?” you asked with a stifled laugh.

“I… have an idea,” he said slowly, almost hesitantly. Then he focused his eyes on you again. “Just… trust me for a moment.”

Your gaze softened and you took a step closer to him.

“Joel, of course I trust you. I trust you with my life.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed but his brown irises haven’t left yours for even a second.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?” you asked with a crooked smile, but he just shook his head.

“C’mon, close your eyes. And promise you won’t laugh.”

Confusion washed over you but you closed your eyes as requested. You heard Joel sighing and then he took your hand in his calloused and rough one, slowly putting it on his shoulder. Your neck got way too hot but you tried not to tense or flinch in fear of making him back out.

“Promise you won’t laugh,” he repeated and you just now realized you haven’t answered him. He put his hand on your waist, very, very lightly, and your other hand was raised to  shoulder height, cradled in his warm one.

“I swear I won’t,” you whispered, your heart beating so damn loud you were scared he was going to hear it with how close you two were.

Joel exhaled heavily and you felt his breath on your hair.

And then he started to hum quietly and sway you gently from side to side. You desperately tried to remain calm, but how were you supposed to do that when your body felt so hot and he was so close–

“I reached inside myself and found nothin’ there… to ease the pressure… of my ever-worrying mind, hmm…”

Joel’s voice was deep and harsh right in front of you, and it sounded more like he was purring than singing. You suspected he slowed down the pace of the song significantly to match his movements and your heart swelled with warmth and adoration. The smile on your face widened and you took a step to the left, then to the right, gradually engaging in your dance more and more. You wanted to make it less uncomfortable and awkward for him and it seemed to have worked a bit because the next lines were much more confident, and his voice steadier.

“All my power wasted ’way, fear the crazed and lonely looks the mirror’s sendin’ me these days, hmm…”

His hold on you tightened slightly and you held his hand a little more securely, unable to hold back a goofy smile on your face.

“Touch me… how can it be? Believe me… the sun always shines on TV.”

You were falling for him all over again and it was not fair that he made you promise to keep your eyes closed. Though if he didn’t, you’d probably end up doing something dumb.

Like kissing him.

Fuck, you wanted to kiss him so bad.

“Hold me… close to your heart. Touch me… Give all your love to me. To me…”

Did he just pull you closer or was it you that took a step forward? It was hard to tell without seeing where you step, but you suddenly were very aware of the material of his shirt under your chin and the smell of shampoo he used to wash his hair, the pressure of his hand on your lower back and his quiet, drawling voice right next to your ear.

You were positive you’re about to pass out.

And it felt blissful.

Joel kept humming the chorus of the song, his voice getting softer and lower with each word. You relished in the warmth of his embrace, begging any higher power that he won’t let go of you immediately once he stops singing.

He didn’t.

Instead you two kind of naturally came to a stop but neither of you moved, still standing chest to chest and breathing a bit shakily. Your palm – or maybe it was his – was sweaty, but you ignored the unpleasant feeling, wanting to stay like this as long as possible.

“The original is much more lively,” Joel spoke in a soft whisper after some time and you smiled lightly.

“Well, I really liked your version,” you answered just as quietly, not wanting to disturb the intimate atmosphere in the room. “Joel?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Can I open my eyes now?”

A moment of silence.

“Yeah.”

You did so, but didn’t move your head, still keeping it on his shoulder and breathing in his scent. “Thank you for that,” you whispered and you felt him nodding.

“Anytime.”

His fingers crept a bit higher up your spine, but still his touch was so light and unsure.

You realized with a flicker of hope that he wasn’t pushing you away. He was pulling you closer.

Careful not to move too abruptly, you lifted your head and turned it to look him in the eyes. They were already on you, so very close, warm and hesitant, but also not showing any signs of discomfort or regret.

“Joel?” you asked again and you were so close to each other, it came out less as a question and more like a quiet breath. He heard it, though.

“Yeah?”

“Can I–”

Suddenly the door downstairs slammed extremely loudly and you both jumped when the noise broke the heavy silence.

“Hello! Is anybody here?!”

Ellie came back.

Both of you automatically took a step backwards, letting go of each other. Your face was scorching hot and you couldn’t force yourself to look at Joel. With a deep (hopefully unnoticed by the man standing right in front of you) breath, you quickly tried to get a grip on yourself when you heard Ellie running up the stairs.

“I was calling you, guys!” she panted and looked from you to the older man. “What’s up?”

“We…” Joel cleared his throat. “Tried to put some music on. The darn thing isn’t workin’, though.”

“Ugh, that’s a bummer.” Ellie turned to you and tilted her head. “Were you out, too? Your face is all red and shit.”

Even if it wasn’t before, it certainly was now. All attention shifted to you in a second and it made you want to cry.

“Yes,” you uttered quickly, “and… I’m actually going out again. I wanted to ask Maria something.”

You didn’t wait for any of them to stop or question you further – you all but ran down the stairs and bolted outside without even taking a jacket or a hat.

Fuck…

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

*****

5. basement, somewhere in colorado

He was dying.

Joel was dying and there was nothing you could do to help him.

You tried your hardest, though, to take care of both him and Ellie. You went out hunting so she wouldn’t have to starve, you encouraged her to get as much rest as possible while you watched over the unconscious man during the night, and not once did you show any doubt that Joel will get better.

But you had a feeling she knew why you were so reluctant to stay behind while the girl took her turn looking for food.  The truth was, you were starting to crack if you sat for too long at Joel’s side, letting the intrusive thoughts take root in your mind. You needed those moments outside, because they were the only ones when you let your tears flow.

So when it was only you and him in the basement, you spent this time brushing the hair out of his face and coaxing him to drink. You checked his wound every so often, trying to keep it as clean as possible. You held his hand, humming to him that one song he sang for you in Jackson, though you didn’t know the words.

It was painful, to just sit in place and be unable to do anything to help, but you tried not to break down. Not when both of them counted on you.

So you stayed strong, hoping it’ll all turn out alright.

But luck still wasn’t on your side.

The men Ellie encountered the day before were here now, looking for you and Joel, and hungry for blood. She told you all about her interaction with them and since yesterday you were ready for a fight in case they showed up, but somehow it still surprised you and made your heart hammer in your chest in fear.

There wasn’t anywhere you could run to, and Joel wasn’t even able to keep his eyes open, let alone walk. You didn’t really have any other options.

So there was only one thing you could do, and that was to protect those closest to you.

You quickly took your backpack and passed Ellie your gun, closing her fingers around the cold metal.

“I’ll barricade the door, but if anyone comes in here, you blast their skull open, you hear me?” you whispered urgently and the girl nodded. You took Joel’s rifle from the floor and hung it over your shoulder. “I’ll try to take them out and lead them away. I’ll be back.”

“You better come back,” Ellie muttered and you looked at her softly, nodding. Then your gaze involuntarily shifted to Joel.

You didn’t know how many people were outside – if there were three or four of them, you should be able to shoot most of them before they notice you. If you don’t miss, that is.

But if there were more…

Choking back a nervous sob, you knelt next to the mattress and took Joel’s head in your hands. His eyes were only half-open and his forehead covered in sweat. Your heart clenched painfully at how weak he looked.

Acting on impulse, you leaned down and softly kissed the place above the corner of his mouth.

“Wake up,” you said to him firmly, brushing his cheeks with your thumbs. “Please, Joel. Ellie and I need you.”

You knew you had to go. You had to go now and make sure those fuckers outside don’t find Ellie and him.

But you stayed just for a second longer to press your forehead to his.

“I love you,” you whispered, so quietly you barely heard yourself.

And then you pulled away and ran upstairs.

From then on it was all a blur. You managed to kill one of the men with a clean shot between his eyes, but the other one ducked out of the way when he noticed you. Turned out there were six of them – too many – and what’s worse, one of them came up behind you, forcing you to flee sooner than you’d planned.

It would probably be wiser to take the horse but you didn’t want to endanger the poor creature, so you ran on foot.

You didn’t get far. One of the men managed to shoot you in the leg, making you keel over onto the frozen ground with a scream of pain. You turned around and saw him lifting his gun again before another voice yelled that he wanted you alive.

No. No, no, you weren’t about to let them take you.

You crawled towards where your rifle lay in the snow but just before you could reach it, it was kicked away by a heavy boot which then dealt a severe blow to your stomach. You doubled over, wheezing and coughing for air. By the time you managed to somehow catch your breath, someone pressed their foot on the gunshot wound in your calf, forcing a scream of agony out of you.

“Now, stay calm. I don’t want to shoot you.”

You clutched at your leg, glaring up at the ginger man who you suspected was the same David Ellie has encountered.

The man grinned nastily at the state you were in, and you didn’t like his expression one bit. He must’ve noticed that you were ready to lunge at him at any moment because he swiftly lifted his gun to your head. You froze.

“Where is your friend and the girl?” he asked quietly. You sneered at him, baring your teeth.

“Fuck you. I ain’t telling you shit.”

“David, she killed Paul,” spat another, younger one, looking down at you with hatred. “If that bastard has already died, let’s at least kill his bitch.”

You tried to think of a way to get out of this situation, but both of the men had their guns pointed at you and you knew you wouldn’t be able to move quickly enough with the gunshot wound.

You tried to move slightly but David pressed his foot harder on your leg, causing more blood to flow from your wound and you cried out, the pain clouding your vision.

“Don’t try anything, sweetheart,” he murmured in a warning tone. “You might bleed out.”

Your eyes were full of hate and rage but you didn’t dare to move again just yet.

“Where are they?” David asked again and you huffed a humorless chuckle while trying not to show how much pain you were in.

“You know that it was me who killed that idiot?” you asked in the most mocking tone you could muster, in the meantime desperately thinking how the fuck you were going to get out of here, preferably alive. “And your friend over there.” You nodded in the direction of where the body of the man you shot was lying. “Which one of you stood next to him? Was it you?” you asked the younger man who shot you in the leg. “I hope I hadn’t splattered you too much with the remnants of his brain.”

“You little bitch,” the other man sneered, lifting his gun again despite David’s stern order to back off. “I’d love to see the face of your friend when I blast your–”

“Leave her alone, you fuckers!!”

All of you turned your heads and your stomach churned when you saw Ellie on the horse you borrowed from Tommy. More shots rang out in the air when she blindly fired at the two men standing above you, and then the rest of the strangers who emerged from between the trees.

“Alive!!” David yelled after his men when they started chasing Ellie who grabbed the reins and cantered in the opposite direction. Then the man turned back to you. “We will catch her. Then we will find your friend, and he’ll pay for his sins.”

You growled.

“I told you it wasn’t him who killed that man.” He shook his head and you fumed with anger. “You don’t think I’m capable of that?”

“Oh, I think you’re capable of a lot.” His stare slid down your body, from head to toe, and terror gripped your heart at the sadistic excitement in his eyes. “And I think you must really care about him if you’re ready to trade your life for his. Such loyalty is admirable, but your love is misplaced.”

The snow around you was getting more and more red and you really started to worry that the bullet might’ve hit an artery. David’s eyes shifted to your leg as well, and he hummed.

“We’ll take care of that, don’t worry. You’ll be well taken care of in our community.”

“I don’t want to be any part of your fucked up sect.”

“You will. You just need a father to lead you to the right path.” He leaned over you in such a manner that it made your blood run cold. “I’ll teach you personally.”

Suddenly a shot echoed in the air and you heard a distant neighing of a horse. Your head automatically turned in the direction of the noise and David took advantage of your moment of distraction to strike your temple with his gun, thus knocking you unconscious.

*****

+1. silver lake

Joel woke up.

And he felt like he was made out of pure adrenaline and rage.

You weren’t with Ellie when he found her staggering through the snow, the face of the teen terrified and covered in blood. He comforted her as best as he could, relief and fear fighting inside him as he held the girl in his arms.

But she didn’t know where you were held. If you were even alive.

And that was a thought that Joel couldn’t bear. He wouldn’t even allow for the possibility that you were no longer…

He vaguely remembered you stroking his cheek with slow and delicate touches, and your humming while he was laying on the mildewed mattress in the basement. Maybe it wasn’t even a memory, but a dream – it was hard to tell in his delirious state.

But he was pretty sure he wasn’t hallucinating when he felt soft, cold lips right next to his and heard your voice – he knew it was your voice, he’d recognize it anywhere – whispering the words he never let himself hope you’d say to him.

Words he would be damned if he didn’t say back to you.

And that’s why he was merciless with the men he encountered on his way to you and Ellie. His own tiredness and pain piercing his abdomen didn’t matter – nothing mattered when you two weren’t with him, when he didn’t know if you were hurt or even still breathing. The desire to help and protect his girls numbed the pain in his stomach so much that he almost forgot he could barely stand just a few hours ago.

Once he found Ellie and took her to a safe location, he went back to look for you. He didn’t want to leave the girl alone, but she seemed terrified at the prospect of going back and through the buildings, so he left her his gun, promising to be right back.

One of the bastards Joel ran across on his way back was helpful enough (after being shot in both knees and having his forearm broken) to direct him to the place where you were supposedly being held – a small building hidden behind the still burning dining room.

No one else stood in his way when he cautiously reached the structure. He went in and started checking every single room, getting more and more anxious every time he found them empty. At one point he was ready to tear the walls apart and go back to see if there was anyone left alive who could tell him where you were – but then spotted a hidden, smaller metal door, which apparently led to the basement.

It wasn’t locked and Joel didn’t hear anything on the other side so he opened it slowly, quickly walking down the stairs and scanning the room for any enemies, but there were none. Half of the room was enclosed by a chain-link fence and the entry to the cage was slightly open.

And inside sat you, with a cloth around your eyes and hands tied above your head.

His knees almost gave way under him from relief when you perked up at the sound of his footsteps. You were alive. You were–

“If you fucking try to touch me again, I’ll break more than your stupid jaw!” you yelled out of the blue, starting to struggle and kick haphazardly, though the placement of your wrists was forcing you to stay in a sitting position. “You motherfucker, don’t come any closer!”

The fear and desperation in your voice broke Joel’s heart in an instant and made him stop dead in his tracks.

“It’s me,” he hurried to say, but his voice was weak and the next words got stuck in his throat when he saw your bloodied nose, bruises on your face and neck, as well as a dirty bandage tied around your calf with a seizable crimson stain on it.

He ushered inside, opening the door to the cell wide open with a loud scraping. You started panicking even more, cursing and kicking when he crouched next to you, intending to untie your hands.

“I said don’t fucking touch me! I’ll kill you!” you screamed and Joel actually had to back away a little to avoid getting kicked in the ribs.

“It’s me!” he said louder, but it was clear you didn’t hear him. In a quick movement he reached out, yanking the blindfold off your eyes, and put his hands on both sides of your face. “It’s me. Joel.”

In the first moment his touch made you recoil and the look of fury deepened on your face while you continued to scream bloody murder. Your eyes were so wild and terrified, Joel wanted nothing more than to pull you close to his chest and never let go. 

“Look at me, baby. It’s alright,” he whispered soothingly, brushing his thumbs over your cheekbones like he vaguely remembered you doing when he was unconscious. “It’s me. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Your eyes slowly started to focus on his face for the first time since he took the blindfold off, and Joel felt like something was tearing his chest apart at the sight of fear and disbelief on your face.

“It’s okay, darlin’,” he muttered in a strangled voice, trying not to show he was close to crying, too. “It’s me. You’re safe now.”

A broken sob issued from your throat when you took in the sight of him, your eyes lingering on his face and stomach where the wound was.

“...Joel?”

“I’m here,” he said softly, quickly cutting the ropes binding you to the indent in the wall and wincing when he saw the red and purple marks around your wrists. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay, not for you and not for him. Your body was trembling when he finally cut your hands free and without hesitation gathered you in his arms. It seemed like all the bottled up stress was pouring out of you now with the tears as you cried into his jacket and he held you tighter.

“J-Joel…”

“I know, babygirl,” he whispered into your hair, rocking you both back and forth slightly. You were clinging to him almost desperately and it pained him physically to see how scared you’ve been this whole time, but you were safe now, you were back with him and you were alive… “I know. I’m so sorry.”

You pulled away abruptly and looked over his shoulder, your face crumpling in despair when you saw no one there.

“They took Ellie, I don’t know where–”

“She’s safe,” he quickly assured you. “She got out and I found her just before comin’ here.”

You nodded with a sigh of relief, and he shifted his gaze to your calf, gently laying his hand just above the bandage.

“How’s your leg? Can you walk?”

“One of those fuckers shot me,” you murmured, not moving or attempting to stand up, which concerned Joel. “I didn’t really have a chance to see if I’ll be able to stand on my own but they sewed it up provisionally.” Your eyes flickered to his and you smiled softly, brushing your fingers over the back of his hand. “Not as well as you, though.” Then your smile disappeared and your hand grabbed his in a firm grip, like you wanted to make sure he was really here. “How are you, though? I was… Shit, I was so afraid I’d lose you.”

Joel could only stare at you, having no clue what to say.

He was not good at talking. He knew what he should do, though – he should examine your leg and make sure it was alright, he should go back to Ellie and get you two out of here, he should calm down his goddamn pounding heart so that he doesn’t pass out and cause you any more trouble.

But he couldn’t will his muscles to move. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t think about anything at all – not when you were sitting in front of him, looking at him with those tearful, gorgeous eyes of yours, holding his hand so tenderly but firmly, your touch so soothing, so familiar, and he remembered vaguely the same fingertips caressing his face.

And your voice, those words…

You said his name haltingly, but he didn’t register any of that, instead letting the overwhelming feelings of relief and fear, and – and adoration – take hold over his body, and he affectionately took your beautiful face in his hands.

Your eyes widened slightly but then these irises he dreamt about so often flickered to his lips and your own parted slightly, and that was all he needed before he leaned in and kissed you deeply.

There was a moment of hesitation on your part during which Joel began to worry that he didn’t read the situation right after all, but then you cupped his cheeks, too, and pressed yourself closer to him, letting him envelop your form in his arms with a quiet sigh.

It was better than he could have ever imagined. He could taste a hint of blood on your lips and hot, blinding rage surged through his veins at the thought of those bastards hurting you. His kiss turned harder and more desperate – he needed to make sure you were really here with him, he wanted to feel your every breath in his own lungs. You didn’t pull away, only tangling your fingers in his short hair, and the small noises you were making were driving Joel crazy with lust and relief. He felt dizzy, like he was going to faint again but he pushed through it, keeping his attention solely on you.

The second you two parted, even before you had a chance to catch your breath, the words started spilling out of his mouth fumblingly.

“Listen, I… I heard you,” he whispered, panting like he just ran a mile – and his heart certainly acted like he did. “M’pretty sure I wasn’t halucinatin’, but even if– doesn’t matter, I want… no, I need to tell you this, I…”

He exhaled nervously and shook his head, avoiding eye contact with you because he was damn sure he'd burst into flames if you looked at him like that again.

Fuck, he was really not good at this.

He cursed under his breath, missing a concerned look you gave him, and felt your hand covering his where it was still situated on your cheek. He knew that with this gesture you wanted to make it easier for him somehow, but it only caused his chest to get even warmer and tighter. “Joel, slow down–”

“I… I love you,” he finally choked out, softly brushing your cheekbones with his thumbs. And damn his old, faulty heart, he wanted to gaze into your eyes again, even if it was going to kill him, so that’s exactly what he did. “I loved you for so long, darlin’, and I got so fuckin’ scared that I won’t be able to tell you and, and it’s okay if I only imagined you saying that and you don’t feel that way, but I needed to tell you, I…”

All strength left him when he paused to draw a breath. His vision was becoming blurry and for a second he was certain he’s losing consciousness again, but it turned out they were only tears filling his eyes, blurring your form before him.

Which was even worse, somehow.

“I’m sorry.” He intended to sound reassuring and strong but it came out more like a broken whisper and he hated himself for feeling so weak and helpless when you and Ellie needed comfort and strength. He couldn’t help it though – all this time when he was looking for his girls the only things that kept him going were anger, terror and regret. Now there was relief, yes, but… he felt so very tired and old.

You turned your head slightly to plant a soft kiss on the inside of his palm, and Joel’s head snapped up. Tears were filling your eyes and he immediately scanned your body for other injuries, any signs of damage or pain, but then this gorgeous smile he so loved illuminated your face, and it put all of his anxieties at ease.

“You weren’t hallucinating,” you said quietly. “I did say that. And I love you, too, Joel.”

He couldn’t help a short, breathless and broken laugh that escaped him when he really heard you speaking those words, this time as clearly as day.

You sniffled and mirrored his smile, and in the next second Joel was kissing you again.

He knew you two had to go, had to get back to Ellie and leave this god-forsaken place, so he tried to be quick, but you – your smile, your touch, all of you – were so distracting and not eager to help him pull away in the slightest.

“I love you too, babygirl, love you so much.” He peppered your face with kisses, ignoring tears running down his cheeks and disappearing into his beard and under your hands. “So fuckin’ much… Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“Because your old heart can’t handle it?” you teased and he huffed a laugh. A damn tease in every situation, he wanted to say, but before he had a chance to chide you, you pulled him in for another deep kiss. Joel decided you’re off the hook this time.

“Exactly, darlin’. Now hold onto my arm, we’re gonna see if you can stand, and then we’re goin’ back to Ellie.”

A hiss and a grunt of pain escaped you when he attempted to pull you to your feet, but you gritted your teeth and shook your head quickly when he froze, worry evident on his face. Turned out you could stand on your own and even slowly limp forward, but clearly had to push through intense pain to do so. Joel offered you his shoulder (against which his tired body protested immediately) but it made walking easier for you, so he sucked it up.

“I got you,” he whispered when he helped you up the stairs, keeping an arm around your waist for support. You whimpered every time you had to climb up a step, and Joel took hold of your hand, brushing his thumb over your skin lovingly. “That’s a good girl. Just a couple more.”

You didn’t let go of his hand even after these ‘couple more’ steps.

He kept his hand on your shoulder when you finally got reunited with Ellie and tears of relief spilled out of your eyes.

You tangled your fingers with his when the three of you were leaving this cursed, cruel place.

You all held each other when Ellie broke down and you both hugged her tightly, trying to make her feel safe again.

He hooked his little finger over yours, not wanting to drag you down when he started to lean on you, getting significantly weaker from how far he traveled and how hard he fought in the state he was in.

You grasped his hand again that night when you laid down next to him in his sleeping bag while Ellie was curled close to the two of you on Joel’s other side.

He didn’t let go when he leaned in to kiss you again, keeping his touch soft and gentle, and pulled you as close as he could, murmuring words of love and sweet promises into your hair.

Both of you knew you had a lot to talk about in the upcoming days – and probably even weeks. All three of you needed time to heal, physically as well as mentally.

But just for this moment, Joel couldn’t be happier and more relieved as it was slowly dawning on him that after this horrible, hellish nightmare, he had both of you right next to him, breathing and alive, and not chased by anyone for now. Two persons he loved in very different ways, but who were his entire world, whether he was ready to admit it or not.

As if reading his thoughts, you shifted slightly and kissed the edge of his jaw sleepily. His eyes closed, hiding the wetness in them.

He really couldn’t believe his luck.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us #tlou hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x y/n #5+1 things #joel tlou #it took me SO LONG OMG #beary writes

[diejager]

Saw your requests are open can I please please please ask for Pyramid Head? Any crumbs of him pls you write him really well. Size kink and belly bulging or gaping, or him eating the reader out if you need any inspo? I don't know if I want him to have just one long, slimy tongue under the mask or a whole mess of bloodied guts and tentacles tbh

Behaviour actually had a tongue for Pyramid Head’s model-

Tongue Cw: cunnilingus, bulge from tongue, tell me if I missed any.

Pain and pleasure were synonymous with Pyramid Head, his pleasure stemmed from pain and your pain brought him ecstasy. You were hesitant at first, looking at the sharp wires that made up his restraints and cages, fearful of pain, of hurt. They were all rusted, sharp barbes turned brown with age and dried blood of his prior victims, it was neither sanitary, nor was it secure.

But you’d learned to take from pain, every slash and every stab from a killer became something you expected, something you awaited with batted breath. You learned to use pain to further your excitement, your pleasure and your enthusiasm, you found pleasure in pain and it made your world much easier. It made Pyramid Head rumble, his body trembling with arousal and excitement to finally have you the way he wanted, an entity of pain and regret using what he was made of you bring you satisfaction.

You let him tie you up, wires wrapped around your wrists, keeping you still from his ministration, pulling and squirming under him. The barbes cut into your skin, small nicks and scrapes that bled the metal red with fresh blood. The pain pulsed down your arms, warming the skin under his palms and made your clit twitch, it made the knot in your core coil, throbbing strongly between your legs.

His hold was unmoving, the strong grip of his hands on your thighs, spreading you open to his slick and able tongue, pumping into you with deep and harsh thrusts. His fat tongue curled inside of you, pressing against the walls of your cunt and tapping your bruised cervix with hard hits. You bulged with his tongue, the pink muscle pushing your skin outwards with intent of watching you swell, searching for the tightness of your cunny when he makes you look at your navel bulge with every thrust, popping up when he pushed more of his tongue into you.

Although he was bruisingly rough, he was still mindful of your safety, often making sure you were all right, to be sure that your whimpers and cries were one of pleasure and not agony —he wouldn’t ever dream of hurting you too deeply, to scare you away from him. He would purposely loosen his grip from time to time, reassuring growls that would send you reeling, a rumble vibrating into your core and invisible eyes keeping track of your expression.

His tongue swirled, curling on itself before twisting and turning inside you, rolling the rough and asymmetrical texture of the ball to push at different, sensitive spots of your walls. You wailed, high keens with tears rolling down your cheek and drooling in sheer, mind numbing pleasure. Your body burned, toes tingling with pleasure and fingers curling in ecstatic pain, your eyes never left Pyramid Head’s face, watching him through dazed eyes, his hulking figure and nimble tongue.

You were so close, the unwavering heat and tight coil in your core becoming unbearably present as was Pyramid head and the sting of your wounds added to it, coursing through your veins in a hot flash. He groaned, feeling you grip his tongue, pushing more and more into you, admiring your writhing figure, back arched and hips buckling into his face, crying out his name over and over again. It was as addictive to him as it was to you, blinded by fiery, white pleasure, squirting over him, painting him in more than rusted metal and dried blood.

You mumbled lowly, expressing your gratefulness while your head rolled back, eyes heavy with exhaustion. He grumbled, a happy and satisfied sound, thumbs rubbing circles on the bruised skin of your inner thigh.

#x reader #pyramid head x reader smut #pyramid head smut #pyramid head #pyramid head x reader #pyramid head x you #pyramid head dbd #silent hill smut #silent hill #x fem!reader #female!reader #fem!reader

[ghostif1ed]

- i just realized u alr have a fic like that! oops haha

then would u be able to write a fic about ghost n reader being in a tight space n she’s just pressed up against his abs and thighs and she’s just so flustered bc she has a crush on him

thank u sm 💘

ɞ - 𝚑𝑜𝑡 𝑛 𝚑𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑦

𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑛 "𝑔𝚑𝑜𝑠𝑡" 𝑟𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑦 𝑥 𝑓!𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑚𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛!! ⸝* 𝑖 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 :( 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑖 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜 𝑖 𝑤𝑒𝑛𝑡… 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑏𝑜𝑎𝑟𝑑, 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦!! ✿

𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑡𝚑.. 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡.. 𝑎𝑓𝑎𝑏, 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝚑𝑜𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑢𝑝 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑎 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑙, 𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡, 𝑛𝑜 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 (𝑤𝑟𝑎𝑝 𝑖𝑡 𝑏4 𝑢 𝑡𝑎𝑝 𝑖𝑡) 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑐𝚑 𝑏𝑢𝑙𝑔𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑖𝑒, 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡. 𝑛𝑜 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑝𝑙𝑠!!

𝑤𝑐: 𝟺𝟶𝟸𝟺

𝑎/𝑛: 𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝟸 𝚑𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡𝚑𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑤𝚑𝑦 𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑢𝑝. 𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑓 𝑢 𝚑𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑚 𝟸 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑛 𝑖𝑡,, 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑡! ꕤ

everything was going fine. it was an easy mission really- go in, sweep the building, grab the intel and then get the fuck out of there. simple... is what you tried telling yourself. 

it was just you and ghost - a good duo on the surface, but god if they knew what was going on inside. god if they knew how the tall man in a skull mask made your heart race- but not from fear, from something else.

safe to say- you hoped your silly little crush hadn't got out and made its way back to him. you so desperately prayed you hadn't told soap one night while you two had one too many - everyone knows the scottish man could not keep his mouth shut- even if it was stapled together.

simple. simple. simple. you kept repeating it in your head, hoping that maybe it might manifest itself into existence. this mission was going anything but simple. your location was compromised, and while ghost was shouting at you to move your arse along - the usb you'd stuck in the computer just wouldn't budge. 

a firm hand planted on your shoulder startled you, but your reflexes kicked in and your elbow went flying towards the unknown source behind you. unfortunately, they were quicker and grabbed your forearm before you could hit. their arms wrapped around your biceps and pulled you backwards. now you were being dragged backwards down an unknown hallway, with no weapon and no ghost - fuck.

the whole building was dark, you didn't even know what direction you were facing. so much for a simple mission. you began to panic. your limbs slashed around, hoping for a chance to escape their hold and make a run for it. your legs suddenly stopped moving, and you then realised the person holding you had stopped in their tracks. you were pressed flush against their chest, the rise and fall was oddly grounding , enough for you to realise where you were.

it was a tiny little storage closet- great. not only were you practically kidnapped, but you were trapped and you had absolutely no idea where ghost was. now, the person behind you had released their grasp on your arm. taking this as a chance to escape, you cautiously turned around.

then you were at eye level with the person's chest - god they were tall. from the dark, you could make out a vest - a tactical vest, just like the one ghost wears. wait a minute, ghost? your eyes quickly peeked up to where this man's face would be.

lo and behold, staring right back at you, was a skull mask. you let out a breath of relief. "oh my god, ghost" you whisper-shouted. "what the fuck was th-" a gloved hand across your mouth cut you off.

again, your reflexes forced your hand up to his arm, clawing his jacket ever so slightly. you stared into his eyes - empty like always, they bored into yours. it made your heart race, if you were being honest. you feel like a little school girl - you felt giddy. god did that only increase when he leaned forward towards your ear. 

"shut the fuck up" he snarled.

your eyes widened - in disbelief? in question? you really didn't know- but the waves of his voice travelled right between your legs, forcing you to squeeze your thighs together. he was so close, the limited space in the closet forced you even closer together. his back was against the opposite wall, and yours was pressed up against one behind you - but you still managed to bump against his chest.  

his arms crossed against his front. he looked so- laid back? how was he so relaxed in this situation? you couldn't lie- he did look hot. you would have pounced on his bones if it weren't for the predicament you two were in. all you wanted to do was-

the snap of fingers broke you out of your trance. there was no longer a hand covering your mouth, so you took advantage of this and leaned up on your tip toes to talk to him. 

"what's going on?" you whispered right by where you presumed his ear was under the mask.

he didn't respond, just looked at you out the corner of his eye. you felt the rise and fall of his heavy chest stop suddenly and every bone in your body went ridged. strong, booted footsteps marched past the door. your head turned slightly, hoping to catch ghost's eye to get light on what do to next in this situation. instead, he pushed half his body weight on top of you - sending you flying into the wall behind you, a quiet squeal leaving your lips.

a deep growl slipped out of his mouth as he once again brought his gloved hand up to your chin, tilting your head ever so slightly. fabric was felt on your ear - his mask. he was so close to you that you could feel warm air against your flushed cheeks. you could feel the hard plastic of his vest digging into your collarbones.

it was then you realised how much bigger he was than you. how he could squeeze you into nothing so easily. you wondered what he would feel like on top of you - in bed. he was practically on top of you now- all your scenes were invaded by him, you could smell him, you could feel him, you could almost taste him.

your little daydream didn't last long when the low tone of his voice bought you back down to the predicament you'd got yourself into. 

"stay quiet" he warned - accentuating his words. you gulped, swallowing down the lump in your throat. it was just the waiting game now. but he was just so close. he was right there. you could easily reach out and grab him.

but he beat you to it.

the same rough fabric of his glove placed itself on your waist. he began rubbing slow circles into your skin. it was so little touch but to you - but you'd been craving it forever. his left hand continued roaming, but his right hand retracted from your chin. fabric rustled in your ear- you didn't know what, too busy focusing on the hand roaming your abdomen, until a warm breeze landed right below your ear - making your thighs clench together again, secretly hoping he didn't notice

oh. you realised. he's pulled his mask up. his hot lips landed back on your neck, a shiver ran down your spine at the action- making you arch your back onto him. his breath hitched at that- you heard it, with his mouth being so close to your ear. his lips began to wander down your neck, his teeth ever so slightly nipped at the skin - making your knees weak and your hands wander over his shoulders for support. 

outside the door, a loud crash forced your eyes to open and your body froze. shit, you'd got so distracted by what ghost was doing you'd forgotten the situation at hand. speaking of - what the fuck was ghost doing. 

"ghost" you whined, dragging out your words. but your whining came to an end when he grabbed your hips abruptly and spun you around - so now your back was flush against his chest and your front on the wall. a quiet whimper fell through your lips as you felt his mouth against your ear again.

"stay. quiet" he said again - through gritted teeth. so - you did. but he had you held so close to his front, you could feel the muscles in his thighs pressed against you. it was so distracting, it was making your head spin. if one of those men on the other side of the door were to get you now- lord knows you'd die happy.

but your little fantasy was soon coming to an end when the heat of the man behind you disappeared. you turned, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. when you were finally facing him - you'd realised he'd pulled his mask down. he brought a finger to his lips, mimicking a shushing motion. instead of elaborating, he just flicked his head and walked out of the tiny room.

you stood there as he left - helpless, with your jaw dropped open. in shock? disbelief? this was so stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. you repeated it in your head - bringing your palm up to smack your forehead. shit - what had you gotten into.

it was late now. the mission had finished hours ago, after you managed to grab the intel. you had sat across him on the way back to base, but he never said a word - hell he never even looked in your direction. the sun had set over the clouds and everyone on the base had gone back to their respective rooms. but you found yourself stood outside his room. you needed to talk to him.

you shifted your weight onto your other foot - swaying a bit. you just couldn't bring yourself to knock on the door. you couldn't bring your hand up to tap on the wood. luckily, you didn't have to - your shadow moving must of alerted him because the next thing you know- his booming voice travelled through the door.

"the doors unlocked" you froze on the spot - not knowing what to do. your arms felt like jelly as you found the courage to twist the handle  - pushing open the door. you didn't dare look up - didn't dare look into the room. instead, you stared at the ground, finding more interest in your feet.

both of you were quiet for a moment. how long - you couldn't tell. it was almost like a stand off. like he was a lion and you were, well - food. like a predator hunting his prey.

that's exactly what it felt like when you saw his shadow appear in front of you, his boots in your eye-line. he cleared his throat, the noise sounding quiet over your loud heartbeat rushing through your ears. alas - you looked up, ever so slowly.

you met his eyes. he was standing right in front of you, with his arms crossed and his legs slightly apart. you'd only been looking at him for a second but your neck was already starting to cramp. you swallowed down the lump in your throat, preparing to speak.

"s-sir" it came out weak, and you stammered. fuck - now I've made a fool out of myself.

his chest was steady, he wasn't affected at all by this. stupid cocky bastard - how does he get to stand there so smug, while my legs practically turn to jelly at his door. your eyebrows downed- unknowingly- but his baritone voice broke your trance.

"comin' in then?" he stated it like it was obvious. like you were his friend knocking at his door - stopping by for a drink or something. but no- that wasn't happening, and you timidly shuffled past him and into the room. 

the room was practically empty. he just had the necessities, still slightly nicer than yours though. his shadow was cast with a dimly lit lamp in the corner. it looked old, and the bulb was going out- but it was bright enough for you to see what was going on. for you to see the way he slowly turned his body around to face you - who was now standing practically helpless in the middle of the room.

"um..sir, i-" the feeling of concrete and a hand around your neck cut you off. for the second time- you'd been pushed into the wall by this man, whose long legs took him across the room in milliseconds- catching you off guard.

he leaned in closer. "yeah?" he was taunting you now, and it was working. you didn't know what to say, or what to do. you didn't know how to feel. scared? calm? aroused?

you didn't know what to feel- but you certainly knew what you felt. 

he knew it too. he'd felt the warmth rush in your body. he'd felt your pulse rise- with his hands being placed around your neck. he felt the ways your thighs clenched- that's how close he was. he knew what he was doing to you- and there was no way in hell he was stopping now. 

"wha'chu come to tell me, huh" the hand around your throat squeezed slightly harder at his words. your body reacted before your brain could- and you arched up into him. he chuckled at this. the sound came from the very back of his throat, vibrating through your whole body.

you opened your mouth to speak. although, it was hard with his hand around your neck. so he generously moved his hand away - only to rest it on your right cheek. the cool pads of his fingers felt strange on top of your warm skin - you realised he didn't have his gloves on anymore, but he still had that stupid balaclava on. you noticed when he dipped his head into your neck - like he'd done earlier. 

the added sensation of the cloth over your pulse point drove you crazy. all you needed was him. it was the only word your brain could think of. him. him. him. he'd barely even touched you and you were already aching for him.

"g-ghost" you stuttered out weakly, grabbing the back of his neck desperately. he caught onto this, catching both your hands in one of his large ones quickly. he stared down at you- brown eyes boring into yours, making you feel like an ant under his gaze. 

he pinned your hands against the wall - trusting you to keep them there and moved his fingers down your body. you let your head fall against the wall- the feeling of his fingertips driving you into euphoria. his fingers moved over your lower stomach - grazing above the edge of your shorts. they slowly sunk into the waistband- making you snap your eyes open.

it was then you realised he was now on his knees. his mask was pulled up over his mouth - exposing his lips. god, you wanted to kiss him so badly. but instead of kissing your lips, his mouth found its way to your inner thighs. he hooked your right leg over his shoulder - his gaze boring into you. no words were said, the only sounds in the room were your heavy breathing, and the wet sounds of his mouth kissing and nipping on your inner thigh.

his teeth dug into the skin - forcing a hiss sound out of your mouth, but only for his tongue to soothe over it a second later. "f-fuck ghost" you whimpered, hands falling loosely at your side. "do something" it was more of a whine than a demand, but nonetheless, he hooked his fingers into your shorts and slid them down your legs.

there you were left - slouched against his bedroom wall, in nothing but panties and a shirt, that was three sizes too big, whilst he was crouched down on the floor in front of you.

"is this what you want?" he almost growled, as his thumb hovered over your wet panties. "answer me" his tone was demanding.

"yeah" it came out in a whisper - not trusting yourself to use your words "please". he hummed at this, pushing his thumb slightly forward, finally resting it over your aching clit. 

your hips bucked automatically, even from such little pressure. his thumb moved in slow circles over the fabric, teasing you. "more" you demanded. he chucked from underneath you.

"is tha' all you got, huh? c'mon, you can do better than that" 

a small whine broke out your lips at his words. he was asking you to beg - but you could hardly form a coherent thought. "please, please please" it spilled out of your mouth like a prayer - the only words you could think of in that moment.

"really?" he teased. "I've barely even touched ya, and you've already gone dumb" 

"please, ghost, i need more please-" your rambling cut off as he slipped your soaked underwear to the side and blew gently on your clit. the action made you peel your back off the wall- arching into him. he shifted slightly - hiking your leg up even higher so he could get a perfect view of your aching sex.

"fuck" it came out in a low groan. you almost didn't hear him from the way your heart was rushing in your ears. "god your fuckin' soaked, so pathetic" he scoffs. " how long you've been thinking of this for, hm?" 

"how long have you had dreams about me filling up this sweet little cunt, huh sweetheart?" he was teasing. he knew the effect he had on you. he could tell by your body language - you always left your self open. he saw how you never met his eyes, how you always seemed to shrink down when he was in the room. he knew everything. cocky bastard.

finally, he placed a wet kiss on your swollen clit. your knees nearly gave out with relief as he began to swirl his tongue around and around. "f-fuck" you stuttered, bringing your hand down to grab onto his hair through the fabric of his mask. the action admitted a groan from his mouth, the vibrations making you feel dizzy.

little whimpers and pants left your mouth as he flicked his tongue around the senstive bud, nipping and biting ever so often. lewd, wet noises filled the empty space of the room. your slick started to spill on your thigh as he pulled you closer and closer to your orgasm.

your eyes made contact with his. "come on" he mumbled against you. "come for me, sweet girl, come on".  the vibrations of his voice were enough to send you over the edge, the feeling of your release washing over you, making you feel dizzy. 

he pulled away and stood tall to his full height again, looking down at you. his chin was covered in your juices, reflecting off the dim light. a small smirk rested on his face as you stood there catching your breath.

you didn't even get a word out before he slammed his lips onto yours. the kiss was messy, his tongue fighting for dominance in your mouth while you could taste yourself on his lips. 

eventually, he managed to manoeuvre you onto the bed, you didn't even realise until your back hit the firm mattress. it wasn't the most comfortable thing, but it will do.

"please" you whispered between kisses. "want you, please, so bad".

"yeah? tell me what you want"

you stumbled over your words again "i-i don't know please just, i just want you" 

he groaned, moving your arms above your head so he could slip off your t-shirt. another groan leaving his mouth at the sight of your tits. his hot tongue licked a path from the edge of your panties, all the way up to your breasts .

he took one in his mouth. swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub and pulling away with a pop, watching the way your nipples hardened in the cool air. he did the same with the other one, meanwhile, you were getting impatient.

you tried to push him away, but he was too strong. alas, he got the memo and chuckled ever so slightly. "greedy girl". 

his large hands ripped your panties off you in a second. but before you could protest his middle finger came down to tease your entrance. "gotta work you open first, love"

he inserted a finger, then a second. they practically slid inside with how wet you were. your hands scrambled for a grip on the sheets as your back arched off the bed. his fingers worked inside of you, stretching you out in preparation. but just as you were about to have your second orgasm, he pulled away his fingers. in response, you whined loudly, but he was quick to shush you with a finger to your lips.

"the next time you'll come is on my cock, okay?" you clenched around nothing at his words. 

his thumb pulled down your bottom lip, then his wet digits shoved their way into your mouth. "suck" he commended, and you did just that. swirling your tongue around his fingers just like he did with your clit. 

"shit, baby look at you, gone all dumb already" 

"fuck" he dragged out his words. "i need you so bad baby, do you want this?"  you nodded your head. "no princess, use your words" 

"yeah" it was a breathy whisper, but it was enough for him to continue his actions.

he sat back on his knees, pulling his joggers and boxers down just enough so his cock sprang free. your eyes widened at the sight. he was big.

"g-ghost i-, not gonna fit" 

"yeah?" he was back at your ear again, hovering over you. he had your legs around his waist and his cock resting over your clit.

"you think so?" he taunted, rubbing his dick up and down your pussy, coating his tip in your wetness. 

"your so wet baby i think i could just slip right in"

you went to protest, but the head of his cock slipped just past your entrance, cutting off any thought that came into your head. 

"you think i'm not gonna fit huh?" he sunk into you deeper. "well guess what princess" he grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

"i'm. gonna. make. it. fit" at every word he slid deeper and deeper inside of you, until he bottomed out. the groan that came out his mouth nearly made you cum on the spot, his tip kissing your cervix.

"you see baby, I'm all the way in" he captured your lips in a kiss again, moving ever so slightly in and out of you, trying to distract you from the slight pain of him stretching you out so much.

eventually, the pain turned to pleasure and he began to move faster, pulling back from your lips to look at where you two were connected. a curse slipped from his mouth when he noticed the blunt head of his cock poking through your stomach.

"shit baby, look" he brought your hand up to the bulge. "you feel that, i'm right in your guts". the moan that slipped from your lips was pornographic, you were sure that the whole base would have heard, but that was the least of your worries right now.

he pressed his hand into your stomach, making you arch off the bed in pleasure, the slats creaking under the pressure. the dull thump of the headboard against the wall definitely woke someone up, but the only thought you had in that moment was how close you were getting.

"ghost, please, I'm so close" 

"yeah?" he panted "close already baby? pathetic" he chuckled, your whimpers and moans bouncing off the walls of the room, the sound of skin slapping probably echoed down the hallway.

"well what do you say then baby" his rough fingers travelled down to your clit. "you wanna come? beg for it"

you gasped as his thumb rubbed small circles on your swollen bud. "oh my g-god, please. please let me come ghost, fuck, please please"

he groaned again. "come on then baby, come for me, milk my cock like the good slut you are.. shitt"

you finally reached your peak, your body shaking and your vision going white for a moment. you could hardly feel the hand he slapped over your mouth to keep you from screaming.

your gummy walls clenching his cock were enough to tip him over the edge, his abs tightening and a groan slipping out of his mouth as he came inside of you. his thick white cum painting your insides. he pulled out slowly, causing a hiss from him and a whimper from you. 

he took your face in his hands as you came down from your high, your vision clearing up enough to look him in the eyes. you stared into his brown orbs for a while, just thinking.

fuck... what had you gotten yourself into.

୨   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ࣪   ˖  .   ୧

#ɞ ˚ GHOSTIF1ED #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley imagine #simon riley fluff #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley imagine #ghost x reader #ghost imagine #ghost mw2 #mw2 #captain john price #soap mactavish #kyle garrick #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x you #simon riley x y/n #reader insert #imagine #cod #cod mw2 #cod mw2 fanfic #ghost #phillip graves #alejandro vargas #call of duty x reader #ghost smut #pure filth tbh 😭

[revasserium]

Mmmm perhaps 13? A kinda sensitive reader x Opla zoro? Or a tender moment between the two? 👀

send me one + a character and i'll write u a drabble

13. handle with care

zoro; 1,014 words; fluff, strawhat!reader, gn!reader, no "y/n", mentions of blood, established relationship, zoro being zoro, mentions of poison

summary: in which you attempt to treat zoro post battle

a/n: i do love the "sucking out poison with your mouth" trope, i gotta admit

It is almost always in the aftermath of battle, when the dust has settled and the blood’s been shed, that Zoro seems most himself. There’s something in the dull, pulsing ache of fresh wounds, the harsh sting and strain of his muscles, the adrenaline still singing through his veins —

“This is gonna hurt…” you glance up as you press an alcohol-soaked cotton ball to a large slash across his chest and Zoro hisses.

But his eyes are closed and there’s a small, satisfied smile inked across his lips.

“Doesn’t even sting.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes as Zoro’s stomach tenses beneath your touch; you carefully press the cotton ball to his wound again, watching the edges grow heavy and dark with blood.

“You really oughtta be more careful…” you say, voice low as you reach for a fresh cotton ball and dip it in the alcohol once more. Zoro grunts, his eyes half-lidded as they track your movements. You glance up to meet them, only to blush and look away as he gaze catches on yours.

“I’m good at staying alive,” he says, by way of an answer, and you resist the urge to sigh and roll your eyes for the nth time that day.

“If this cut had been a few centimeters to the right —“

“But it wasn’t.”

The softness of his words makes you look up, your fingers pausing as you reach for the gauze siting next to his bent elbow, propped carelessly against the kitchen counter.

“And I’ve got you,” he says, lips twitching as he reaches over slow, pressing the gauze into your palm with smooth, deliberate movements.

You curl your fingers around the gauze and swallow, feeling heat tiptoe up the back of your neck and sink into your cheeks. You busy yourself with smearing a thick balm over the worst parts of the wound and pressing the gauze over it. Zoro lets out a soft hiss, his head tipping back, his fingers curling into fists at his sides.

“Oh — sorry —”

“It’s nothing,” but his voice is rough and scored around the edges.

You frown at the darkness already seeping through the fresh bandages and cock your head.

“No… something’s wrong,” you tug at the bandages, your heart thudding in your throat.

“It’ll fix itself in a few —”

“Stop it,” you snap, your eyes sharp as you glare up at him, pressing a hand to his chest; he freezes at your touch. You stare at each other for a few seconds before he lets out a long breath and relaxes, a grimace edging to the surface.

“It hurts, doesn’t it? More than it should,” you say, more a statement than a question, carefully wiping away the balm and squinting at the edges of the wound, the skin turning an unnatural blueish gray.

“Barely.”

“Zoro, I swear —”

“Fine.” He bites out the word like poison —

Your eyes go wide — poison.

“The guy who clawed you — what did you say he turned into?”

Zoro scoffs, “I dunno — some weird thing that looked like a duck but had fur —”

“Shit —” you toss the sullied gauze aside and wipe haphazardly at the wound before bending down to press your lips to the gash, sucking hard. Zoro makes a noise somewhere between pain and surprise as you spit out a mouthful of dark, already congealing blood into the sink next to him.

“W-what the —”

You look up to find him wide-eyed — bewildered and blushing, his breaths coming in short pants.

“Platypus venom — there’s no cure —” you hastily wipe your mouth before bending down again. Zoro lets out a soft moan that borders on indecent, but there’s no time for you to linger on the sound as you straighten back up to spit out another mouthful of bitter-tasting blood.

“The only way out is — well —” you lean back down to wrap your lips around the wound and suck, pulling back to spit out more blood, “Out.”

“Holy shit —” he groans again as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and frown down at the wound, your mind racing with mental calculations of how long it might take for the venom to spread through a person’s system, and how long it’s been since Zoro had come stumbling back with the rest of your crew, grinning and blood-splattered.

“How long’s it been hurting this bad?” you ask, your eyes flickering between his face and his stomach. He lets out a short puff of breath that might’ve been a chuckle.

“Not that long.”

“Zoro please — I need you to tell me the truth — don’t play macho when your life might be —”

“I’d never lie to you.”

His words are clipped, and your heart skids in your chest at the earnestness in his voice.

“Okay… I believe you. I think —” you reach for a glass of water to rinse out your mouth before turning on the faucet to wash your lips and chin, “I think we got most of it out in time. But let me know if it gets any worse, okay?”

Zoro nods, his eyes falling shut again as he relaxes against the counter. You sigh, reaching up to cup his cheek, running a thumb across a tiny cut on his left cheek.

“You really oughtta be more careful…”

Zoro laughs, the sound breathy and a bit broken but warm all the same.

And when he opens his eyes to look at you, you find nothing but affection reflected there, even though his lips are a bit paler than you’re used to, his gaze ever so slightly unfocused.

“Didn’t I just tell you —”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, you’re good at staying alive.”

“No,” he reaches up to press his hand over yours, leaning his cheek into the palm of your hand, closing his eyes as he turns his head to kiss the pad of your thumb —

“I’ve got you.”

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece live action #one piece scenarios #opla zoro #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x you #x reader #opla #one piece netflix #opla zoro x reader #one piece live action x you #one piece live action x reader #roronoa zoro fluff #one piece fluff #roronoa zoro imagines #roronoa zoro scenarios #floofy floof floof #scheduled post #yes i did indeed look up animals with poisonous claws LMFAO

[irisintheafterglow]

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)🌷✨🩷🍪 Greetings Author-nim

Can I please request (⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠メ⁠)

(OPLA Zoro x You) Where Reader is an Assassin or Ninja and is a Pirate hunter, When Zoro used to be one too, they would always compete who gets the target first. Sometimes Zoro wins, sometimes reader.

So, imagine Reader's reaction when they saw Zoro with the crew.

And also, Luffy, somehow by some miracle with his own style of talk-no-jutsu managed to convince reader to join them(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥. Hope u have a great day and it's okay if u don't want to do this. I'll understand.

baby, let the games begin

wc: 2k (surprise, shawty)

cw/tags: gn!reader, swearing, canon-typical violence, mentions of drinking and alcohol, pining pining pining pining PINING

note: hi love, thank you so much for your request!! i hope you like this because i certainly love writing for this stupid himbo man

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated <3

Honor be damned, you really wanted to kill him. 

“Dirty play, demon,” you huff irritatedly, scowling at the asshole who skewered your target before you could. In a single clean slash, the head is relieved of its body and unceremoniously kicked into a bag. “We both know that one was mine.”

“Better luck next time.” Asshole. Stupid, selfish, infuriatingly attractive asshole. A million different ways you could end his life flashed through your mind and, with his back turned to you, became more of a possibility the longer you sat in your disappointment. The dock creaks beneath his receding footsteps and you spit a curse under your breath. The head now bouncing around in the pirate hunter’s hand would have had you living comfortably for months, not to mention buying some shelter for the stray dogs wandering your home island. Monsoon season was coming and you didn’t have nearly enough space to keep all of them dry. Finding food that wasn’t old bread and horse balls was hard in itself and shelter was just another task added to the to-do list. “You’re not gonna try and take it from me?” 

“Why would I? You killed him; you get the bounty,” you reply scornfully, praying that whoever came up with the idea of hunter’s honor is torn to shreds by an octopus. “Guess it is your turn,” you concede reluctantly and take note of the blood dripping from the dirty fabric sack as he reapproaches. You’d have to clean your shoes when you were done. “I did take that guy from you in Flamingo Village, last week.” 

“The one with the big, ugly hat,” he confirms and you don’t budge when he stands right in front of you. He had pretty eyes, you’d give him that. Too bad you wanted to slam your fist into his nose. “I was mad about that one.”

“Well, you got this one. Aren’t you gonna cash ‘em in?”

“I will. I’m just curious,” he says and his expression is unreadable. It bordered on amusement and suspicion with a little bit of awe. “You could have killed me a million times since I killed the target.” Already thought that, buddy. “Why didn’t you?”

“Like I said, hunter’s honor–”

“No,” he shakes his head decidedly and you narrow your eyes. “You’ve been following this guy for four days, watching other hunters fail to bring him in. My question is, why do you need this bounty so badly, and why aren’t you willing to kill me over it?”

“Technically, that’s two questions,” you deadpan and your heart does an unwanted little stutter when he scoffs, the tiniest smile pulling at his mouth. “If you really wanna know why I need it, it’s ‘cause I need to take care of some friends back home.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but you also didn’t need the most feared hunter in the seas knowing that you needed the money to buy squeaky toys and dog beds. 

“Those friends aren’t worth killing for?”

“It’s sounding like you want me to kill you,” you fire back incredulously. “Do I need to worry about you, Zoro?” 

“Look, all I’m saying is, all other hunters would be leaping at my throat as soon as I take their kill. I just don’t understand why you won’t, especially if it’s worth four days of stalking.” 

“Maybe I like playing this little game,” you admit. It’s no secret to you that your job becomes incredibly boring at times. All the other hunters you come across take their jobs too seriously and believe that they’re purging the seas of evil. You, however, knew that the real evil was pacing around ivory towers and putting up the wanted posters. When you first met Zoro, it seemed like he didn’t take his job seriously at all. He killed like it was breathing and remained unamused at the melodramatic theatrics of flashier hunters. You ran into each other often because, besides being the only ones who survive their hunts, you were the top-earning hunters of your generation and ended up following the same pace every time. “I take a bounty; you take a bounty. I try to beat the pirate hunter at his own game; he throws a fit when I’m faster than him.”

“But, today I was faster than you,” he corrects and you stick your tongue out at him in defiance. “Who’s throwing a fit now?”

“Get out of my sight, demon,” you frown but you can’t hold it for long. It becomes a tired, melancholy smile and you start to make your way back to the town to book passage home. “Hope you enjoy all that Berry.” 

“Let me buy you a drink with it before you go,” he calls after you and you freeze where you stand. “Consolation for kicking your ass this time around.” You shoot him a scathing look over your shoulder and take the bait. 

“I did all the dirty work for you, asshole, so it better be three drinks at the least.” He chuckles softly under his breath and you roll your eyes, letting him catch up to you before heading to the nearest bar together. “I hate you so much.” 

“No, you don’t.”

As time passed and you ran into him more during your hunts, that hatred turned into something different, an annoying feeling of excitement every time you heard a sword unsheathed or spotted someone with green hair. You found yourself checking your watch when you were ahead of him, counting down the hours until he caught up. You knew the sound of his footsteps and the rhythm of his breathing and memorized how the sun hit his eyes down to the iris. Sometimes, you’d work with him directly and split the bounty evenly once it was completed. During conversations to kill time, though he never admitted it, he liked being around you as often as he was. Eventually, you told him about your furry friends back on the island and started marking the places you’d been with a hasty drawing of a dog. It became part of your routine and the time that it took for him to catch up to you decreased exponentially as a result. You’re easier to follow, is what he said. On a particular mission where you were unusually behind, you were delighted to find his gross attempt at mimicking the mark scratched into the wooden bar counter. 

You lose touch with him after a year or so of working together and you don’t expect it to hurt as much as it did. Word floated around that he was captured by Marines and posted up in Shells Town, but the same mouths reported that he escaped with pirates the following day. None of it sounded like him and it reminded you that you really didn’t know him at all. Still, you marked that silly dog into every barstool and backdoor you came across as you fell back into the same boring routines. 

Taking a rest day at a floating restaurant called Baratie, you think you’ve found the perfect spot to scratch into the counter when you realize that someone has already done it for you. It was horrendous and nearly incomprehensible, but you choke back a sob when you run your thumb over the mangled wood. There was only one person who could have drawn the little dog so badly.

And it’s like your body senses him before your mind does. 

In an instant, you’re hyper fixated on the familiar rhythm of his boots and the soft noise as his swords clank together with every step. There are four others with him, but you know his approach like the back of your hand. A boy in a straw hat whom you recognize from wanted posters rushes the bar, loudly requesting a glass of milk for himself and the finest rum for his swordsman companion. When he slides into the seat next to you, you can barely look at him, rendered defenseless from the conflict of emotions stirring in your mind. Thousands of questions were screaming to be answered but you couldn’t even open your mouth. The alcohol in your half-finished glass is all you can see. 

“You found me,” he murmurs, flagging down the bartender and asking for a bottle of whatever you’re drinking.

“I wasn’t looking for you,” you reply just as quietly, watching his hand carefully replenish your glass before filling his own and downing it in a few swallows. You stop him from pouring another with a light hand on his shoulder and he wordlessly sets down the bottle, making you smile softly. “You still drink too much.”

“I don’t have you to slow me down,” he replies without hesitation, glancing at your fingertip as it traces the mark he made on the wood. “I’ve been putting those everywhere since I joined up with Luffy. Figured we’d run into each other at some point.” 

“Luffy,” you echo. “That’s your pirate captain?” The irony of your situation escapes neither of you. If you were smart, you’d have every single one of them dead and bouncing around a burlap sack, just like the pirate all those years ago. But, just the same as the first time, you were stopped by a profound desire to be closer to Zoro. 

“He’s not like other pirates. Not like the ones you and I know.” 

“I’ll let the Marines know next time I bring in a head, then,” you laugh humorlessly, feeling the rum burn down your throat when you take another sip. You feel his eyes watching you carefully but you don’t look back at him. “I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to hear that.”

“They don’t have to hear anything,” he says in a low tone, one that sends goosebumps up your spine and has your heart beating a little faster. “They don’t have to hear anything from you ever again.”

“You’re not saying…”

“That's exactly what I’m saying.” 

“You want me to just switch sides like it’s nothing?”

“This job has been nothing to you from the beginning, nothing but a way to feed strays that, thanks to you, have loving homes,” he reminds you and you exhale deeply. He was right, but part of you wanted vengeance for all the times you secretly wished he was still with you. “So, come with me.”

“Zoro, I–”

“You know, I’ve missed you so much I can’t sleep,” he shakes his head and sighs in defeat. “Every time we dock at a new city, I’m hoping you’re on a hunt because, as much as I care for them, they’ll never know me the way you do.” He looks back at his crew with something like sad fondness in his eyes. They wouldn’t ever know him the way you did, as a bounty hunter with no real place to call home and no real people to call friends. “It gets lonely when you’re not forced to be alone anymore.”

“And it’s lonely when you are forced to,” you add. “It’s lonely either way–”

“But I’d rather be that way with you,” he concludes. “It’s not bad when I’m with you.” You pause, collecting your thoughts and calculating how much money you’d have if you suddenly abandoned your current line of work. It was risky, sure, but something about risking it on Zoro made it feel a little less dangerous. “Your silence tells me I convinced you.”

“I’m not the one you need to convince; it’s your captain you should be talking to.”

“Trust me, he’s the least of our problems.” As if to drive home his point, a choir of cheers rises up from behind you as a loud belch sounds through the harbor. 

“‘Our’ as in the crew, or ‘our’ as in you and I?”

“It’s always been you and I, hasn’t it?”

“It always will be,” you promise, letting your head fall onto his shoulder. He’s warm and safe and everything you were needing. “But, I need to teach you how to draw a better dog.” He hums in agreement, downing another glass contentedly. 

“Yeah, you need to teach me how to draw a better dog.”

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

#zoro x you #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #roronoa zoro x you #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x y/n #opla x you #opla x reader #opla x y/n #one piece x you #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #ask iris!

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

All Press Is Good Press

A/N: This is part 2 to Bad PR. It feels like it took me way too long to write but I hope you enjoy it. Also, it's written with a black reader in mind and all credit goes to the original creators of the series and gifs.

Warnings: Some swearing, sensuality, and I was sick when I wrote this.

Word count: 9.3k

   

       “Run!” I shouted, shoving Marie behind me as Luke slowly approached us.

        My heart rate had slowed down dangerously, and I could hear my blood pulsing in my ears. Before I knew it, Luke’s body was ablaze and we flew at each other. At the last second, I set off my ability to block him from burning me and grabbed his shoulders.

        “Luke, breathe, it’s me, Y/N!” I pleaded.

        Luke’s eyes were both angry and hollow. “You were a part of this, you knew about this.”

       “I don’t know what you’re talking about but, if you extinguish yourself, we can talk about it,” I tried.

        “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

       He yelled as the fire around him increased and I felt my ability pushing against my skin as if it would rip itself out of me. But, I was desperate to put out his flames. I’d done it before and I could do it, had to do it again. The wind whirled around us and from the corner of my eye, I could see papers, fire, and other objects flying around us. Suddenly, the air around me felt hotter and something dark in Luke’s eyes flashed.

     I screamed as we flew several yards and he shoved me into the hard floor. Suddenly, the air stopped moving around me and I felt like I was suffocating under the heat. Luke kneeled above me and slowly wrapped his hand around my throat.

  “Luke…please…stop,” I begged, his hand warming with each word.

  I wanted to scream as he seared my neck but as soon as it started, it was over. Luke was suddenly off me and Jordan was standing in front of me in their masculine form.

   “Y/N, get out of here!” they yelled.

   “ I can’t believe you did that!” they seethed at me, moving as quickly as possible through the Crimefighting building hallway.

   It was the day after the joint interview with Marie and I hadn’t been able to sleep the night before. I knew Jordan would be furious since I told them that I would get Marie to recant everything.

  “Jordan, I’m sorry, I can explain.”

  At that, they stopped and whirled around to face me, fury in their eyes. “Okay, explain. Explain how you and that freshman decided to royally screw me over and keep me at Number Five.”

 “It’s not that simple, Marie has way more going on and she’s not trying to hurt anyone.”

 “And what about you? You were already Number Three and then you play along to kick me out of the number two spot?” They laughed humorlessly. “And the fact that they had you in white, making you look like a saint and show off the burn scar and the cast to highlight your sacrifice, genius.”

   The more they spoke, the more I wanted to cry. “I know it’s messed up and I know that this has made things difficult for you, but I can fix it, I promise.”

  “Like Liza would let you.”

 “I don’t have to do everything she tells me.”

“But you do everything she tells you. You say what she wants you to say, you post what she wants you to post, you wear what she wants you to wear, and you date who she wants you to date.”

“You’re the one who broke up with me, remember? You’re the one who said you wanted me to focus on my career, right, well, that’s what’s a part of it.” I adjusted my bag on my shoulder. “Just forget I said anything, I won’t bother you again.”

“Y/N…”

“Y/N, over here!”

  I flinched at the blinding camera lights but managed to smile, hand on my hip as I tried to reach all the best angles. The past couple of weeks had been a blur of flashing cameras, interviews, and tragedy. For some reason, school officials thought the best way to acknowledge all that was with a fundraising gala slash memorial for Brink.

   All the photographers were yelling different instructions and Liza hovered a few feet behind me, muttering notes. Turn my head this way, squint a little, laugh a little  It was eerily easy to smile for pictures, laugh when Andre messed up a TikTok challenge, and joke with some people on campus. For once, all the noise was nice, it was like a shield from anything bad. Then, when I was alone in my room, the thoughts came in.

   You’re a fraud. You should’ve partnered with Marie to give Jordan the credit during that interview. You weren’t strong enough to beat Luke, you never were. You’re weak and spineless. What did Jordan ever see in you? Sometimes tears came, sometimes they didn’t. It was probably a good thing that I was forced into attending this event.

   Liza had insisted I attend the gala that night, arguing that it would be bad publicity if one of Brink’s top students did not attend. Plus, it would not give the public a chance to see Andre and me interacting in a formal setting.

    After a couple of more pictures, I gestured to my parents, who were standing by Liza, to join me. They hesitated but Liza shooed them in my direction and they flanked me. When I took a second to look at them, they both looked so happy, not the kind of happy that I feigned but, true happiness.

     “You make this look easy sweetheart,” Dad chuckled.

      I sighed. “It’s all practice, Dad.”

      “Mr. Y/L/N, how do you feel about Y/N being a Guardian of Godolkin?” a reporter shouted.

       “Couldn’t be prouder of my little girl!” He called back.

       “She’s always been a hero and this is just another time she’s proved it!” Mom added, squeezing my side.

     I smiled sheepishly, the urge to tell the truth about that day bubbling in the back of my throat. Instead, I said, “It was nothing, I was trying to protect Marie and she didn’t really need my help.”

     Then, the crowd started to roar, and I glanced down the red carpet to see Andre and Polarity approaching us. They both had wide PR-approved smiles on as they posed together. When they reached us, Polarity shook hands with Dad, hugged Mom, and kissed my cheek.

      “It’s great to see you again,” he whispered before pulling away.

      “You too, Mr. Anderson,” I replied.

    Liza quickly coordinated our parents to move further up the red carpet and instructed Andre to stand on my right. “Her left is her best side.”

     He slowly wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I tried to relax my shoulders as the camera flashes continued. I couldn’t have been more grateful to Liza for not making us match. Instead, Andre’s light blue suit and my metallic silver halter gown were complimentary.

            “Andre, over here!”

            “They look great together!”

            “Andre, give her a kiss!”

            Andre laughed. “Not into PDA!” he called.

            “And we’re here as friends,” I added with a smile.

     Fortunately, Andre and I never had to do anything too intimate to garner attention. A few social media posts here and there and suddenly, we had the public filling in the dots that Vought wanted them to.

    After what felt like an eternity, Liza hurried us into the venue. The lighting was nice, not too bright nor too dark. Servers looped the area with flutes of champagne bubbling on top of their trays. A few alumni and upper-crust students were already mingling, all dressed in tuxes and gowns.

            “You two did perfectly, social media is going crazy about this,” Liza reported without looking up from either of her phones.

          “It’s not hard with a face like this,” Andre joked as he stroked his jaw.

            I laughed. “Please, I’m literally outshining you right now.”

            “I must say, you two do make a good couple,” Polarity commented.

            I smiled tightly. “Thanks.”

            “Now, don’t forget, we need you to get at least five shots together interacting with other attendees. Make it look natural, we don’t want to ruin the illusion,” Liza instructed.

            “Illusion is the right word,” I muttered.

            Liza arched an eyebrow at me and I stared back at her, offering a fake smile with a tilt of my head. “Watch the attitude, Y/N.”

            “Don’t worry, I’ll be delightful and charming to everyone I encounter,” I said.

      For a second, I glanced at Mom and thought I saw something flash across her eyes. Before I could address it, Andre gently pulled me further into the party.

     Schmoozing was an incredibly easy task. All one needed to do was smile, repeat the last thing the other person said as a question, and thank them for coming to the event. Andre and I spoke with around ten people, ensuring pictures were taken before we were left alone.

            “Nice job, partner,” Andre teased.

            “Back at ya,” I said, leaning on the table closest to us. “How long do we have to keep this up?”

            “An hour but, this,” Andre snagged a couple of champagne flutes from a passing server, “should make it go quicker.”             I smiled as I accepted the glass. “Thank you, but I meant this.” I gestured between the two of us.

            “What? Is there already trouble in the water?”

            “Please, Andre, I know I’m not your type. I’m not white nor am I taken.”

            Andre almost choked on his champagne and wiped his face. “What the hell are you talking about? “

            I rolled my eyes. “Cate’s my best friend, she tells me everything. But going after your best friend’s girlfriend, that’s pretty low.”

            “It’s complicated,” Andre muttered.

            I shrugged and downed the champagne. “How about we give it another couple of weeks and then you and Cate can go official and you won’t have to deal with fake cheating rumors?”

            “Y/N, I know this is a bad situation for both of us but, we’ve got to play it right.”

       Play it right, that’s all anyone was ever interested in. Finding the best angle or the best spin on things. It made me sick to my stomach knowing that all this had taken up the past five years of my life.

            “Don’t worry, I won’t use this as leverage to make you look bad,” I assured, setting my empty glass on a passing server’s tray.

            Andre opened his mouth to say something but cut himself off. “Sorry, I got to run to the bathroom. See you later?”

            “Sure.”

         As soon as he left, Dean Shetty and Marie appeared at my table.

           “Y/N, you are a star tonight,” Dean Shetty complimented, giving me a quick hug.

        Dean Shetty had been incredibly attentive in the last couple of weeks. Since the Luke incident, she insisted we had weekly check-ins and when I mentioned my sleeping issues, she gave me a prescription.

           “We can’t have one of our Guardians of Godolkin losing any sleep,” she’d said.

       With everything going on, it was nice to have someone as stable as Dean Shetty in my ear and in my corner. In our check ins, she truly listened to me and helped me make sense of the mess in my head.

            “Thank you, Dean, you don’t look too bad yourself,” I replied.

            “Y/N, wow,” Marie greeted.

            I smiled and gave her a side hug. “I could say the same to you.”

       She truly did look stunning in her floor-length red corset dress, her twists pulled away from her face. Her shoulders slumped slightly as she picked up the skirt to stand next to Dean Shetty.

            A server paused at our table. “More champagne?”

         I thanked her as I plucked another flute off the tray and started sipping.

            “You should be proud of Marie, Y/N, she’s done wonderfully tonight with our donors,” Dean Shetty said, squeezing Marie’s hand.

            The freshman smiled sheepishly. “I listened to Dean Shetty’s advice.”

            “You’re a quick learner and humble, that’s good,” I said, pointing at her.

            “I must also say that I am grateful that you joined us tonight. It would not have been the same without both of our Guardians of Godolkin,” Dean Shetty commented.

        No matter how much time passed, the name still made me cringe. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Marie scratch the back of her neck and stare down at the table.

            “Of course. Professor Brink was a large influence on my life and I’m glad that I was able to be here, honor his memory, and hopefully get more money for the school,” I replied.

            Dean Shetty seemed pleased and grabbed her clutch. “Now, if you would excuse me, I have a few other alumni to schmooze.

            As soon as she walked away, Marie slid closer to me. “How are you holding up?”

            “Great.” I downed the last of my champagne and used a breeze to slip another flute from a passing server’s tray into my hand.

            “Not to be a prude but, shouldn’t you slow down?” Marie asked.

            I smirked at her. “Don’t worry, Marie, I know my limits. This isn’t enough to get me to trip in my heels but hey, more people in your favor.”

            Marie sighed. “I’m sorry about you getting dragged into all this. This is never what I wanted.”

            “You didn’t drag me into anything; I knew what I was doing when I went along with the story,” I assured her. “Besides, you came to GOD U to be a hero, and you can’t be a hero without attention.”

          “But this wasn’t my plan. I was supposed to keep my head down and survive,” Marie argued.

          “Well, things rarely go to plan and your success has been fast-tracked, congratulations,” I muttered.

            “What’s going on? You seem a lot different since the last time we talked,” Marie commented.

            I swirled my glass. “Marie, I’m going to give you some advice, if you want to be a hero, you have to make sacrifices.”             “That’s something Brink wrote,” Marie thought out loud.

            “And he was right, but he left out the part where you don’t get to decide what to sacrifice. He also forgot to mention how you are a commodity and these people…these people who tell you that you are perfect and special turn around and say that there’s this one thing holding you back. You can keep this one thing but, you lose the money, the reputation, the followers, and the fans, and a hero is nothing without any of that,” I confessed. 

            “But, you have a choice,” Marie countered.

       No, I didn’t, no one did. But Marie would learn that eventually, and maybe we could sit down one day and compare notes. I laughed humorlessly at the thought and sipped more champagne.

            When would this night end?

            “Excuse me, are you Marie Moreau?” Mom asked, sidling next to me.

            Marie nodded. “Yes, I am.”

            “I must say it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Mrs. Y/L/N,” she greeted, extending a hand to Marie.

            “It’s nice to meet you,” Marie replied, shaking her hand.

            “Has Y/N been showing you the ropes of all this?” Mom asked, gesturing around us.

            “Yes, Y/N has been great with everything. I’m learning a lot from her,” Marie stated.

        I straightened up slowly and started drawing patterns on the tablecloth. “She’ll be Vought’s new favorite before we know it.”

       Marie flinched and her eyes widened while Mom looked at me as though I said there was a headless chicken doing laps outside. Honestly, I did not mean to be so surly but the words just slipped out.

            “Kidding,” I sang, downing the last of my champagne.

            “Do you mind if I borrow my daughter for a moment?” Mom asked.

            “Of course not.”

       Mom slowly guided me away from the table, taking a moment to pause and smile at the cameras as we made our way through the space. Her grip on my arm was firm----the way it tended to be whenever she was upset with something I did. When we were out of earshot from enough people, she turned to me.

            “Y/N, what is going on with you?” she asked.

            “Nothing, I’m having a great night. I’m wearing Laquan Smith, I’m drinking expensive champagne, everyone’s happy and smiling tonight; what else could I want?” I argued.

            “Do not lie to me, Y/N. You’ve looked miserable all night and I can’t stand it. Now tell me, you can tell me anything, honey, you know that.”

      Before Vought noticed me, it was relaxing to talk to my mom about everything: school, stress, crushes, and the future. Now, it felt like if I was not super positive, I would add a burden to her and Dad. They were doing so well now, and I was not going to mess that up. I could handle this, I’ve always been able to handle this.

       Then, when I looked back up at her, there was so much warmth and concern in her aging mahogany eyes. There was the slightest hint of a frown on her forehead and I suddenly felt this strange invisible weight lift from my shoulders.

            “I messed up so bad, Mom,” I whispered.

            “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

            “I messed up with everything. I’m barely hanging on in all my classes, my footwork is sloppy in training, and I totally screwed over Jordan, and they didn’t do anything to deserve it,” I rambled.

        Mom gently moved her hands to grasp my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. Tears burned my eyes but they wouldn’t fall as I embraced her warmth and the scent of peonies and lilac. She ran her hand over my head and hummed.

            “Nothing you said is anything you can’t fix,” she stated.

            I slowly pulled away and looked up at her. “What?”

            Mom sighed. “This is not the first time you have met a setback, Y/N. You’ve had plenty of them, from racist classmates to adjusting when Dad lost his job. You can improve your grades and work on your skills.”

           At her words, I nodded, wondering if I would know exactly what to say at that age.

            “What about Jordan?”

            “I know they make you happy and you would light up in their presence. So, I don’t think you two can’t make up,” Mom admitted.

            I rolled my eyes. “But what about Liza? If I go against her, I’ll lose all the backing and…and you and Dad will----”

            Mom held up a hand. “First of all, never roll your eyes at me. Second, your father and I will be fine. Our mortgage is paid, we both work now, and we’ll do just fine. Have you been worried about us all this time?”

            I nodded. “I know you really struggled before the Compound V took and I didn’t want to ruin anything for you two. You’ve been so happy, and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

            “Y/N, you could never disappoint us. You have been so, so amazing your entire life. We’ve been so happy because we are just that proud of you and we know you’ll do amazing things,” Mom insisted. “Your happiness is important too, don’t ever forget that.”

       On instinct, I hugged her so tightly that I thought I would crush her. But, she patted my back to let me know that she was okay. Her laugh made me laugh and I felt like an idiot when I couldn’t stop laughing even when I pulled away.

            “But who says Jordan would take me back? They broke up with me and I played along with Vought and that must have hurt them.”

            “Try not to overthink it. Come on, their memorial video is about to start.”

      As the video played, I could barely focus on not looking at Jordan. They were sitting at a table with their parents across the room. Both were whispering animatedly to a suit while Jordan sat across from them, looking like they wanted to cry. Jordan rarely cried, not even when they dislocated their shoulder during a sparring match sophomore year. Their parents were always a difficult topic, and I was stunned when Jordan brought me to meet them during a parent's weekend.

            “Just try not to make any reference to my other form,” they’d insisted.

            “Okay, I won’t,” I’d replied.

       The Lis were nice enough but, they always referred to Jordan as “their son” or “my boy” or “he”. It made me nauseous just thinking about it and how many breakdowns they’d had about their parents not accepting them. I wanted to hug them or distract them with top-shelf liquor. Then, Jordan looked up at me and I knew exactly how deer felt in the headlights.

       My heart ached as I slowly turned away just in time to see a picture of myself and Brink flash across the screen. It was from sophomore year after I helped solve an ongoing serial robbery case. Jordan had helped me with that but insisted I did most of the heavy lifting.

      Finally, the video ended and I snatched another champagne flute from a passing server as Dean Shetty returned to the podium amidst the applause.

            “Professor Brink always had an eye for outstanding students, and I know that he would want all of you to continue your generosity to foster their talent. There are a couple of students I would like to highlight tonight,” she stated.

            Liza leaned over the table. “Remember, shoulders back, head up like a princess.”

            “Uh-huh,” I muttered.

            “And where is Andre? This would be a great photo op!” she hissed.

            “I don’t know.”

            “First is Marie Moreau, a freshman who has become an asset to our community as a Guardian of Godolkin, showcasing such courage and wit in the face of adversity.” Dean Shetty gestured to the left of the stage, where Marie stood and smiled at the applause. “Second is a name I know you are all very familiar with. Y/N Y/L/N has created a positive whirlwind before she stepped foot on our campus. She has used this whirlwind not only to inspire other young people to dedicate their time to philanthropy and their studies, but to assist Marie in protecting our campus.”

      The spotlight was harsh, but I took Liza’s advice and posed the best I could. I desperately wanted to look at Jordan, to tell them I did not want any of this, that I wanted them to have the credit, but I endured the second round of applause. When the applause ended and the spotlight went away, I grabbed my champagne.

            “Not bad, but your smile didn’t reach your eyes,” Liza noted.

            “I’ll work on it.”

     The bubbles tickled the back of my throat and I looked over at Jordan again. They were looking down at their hands as their parents continued speaking with a different suit. For a split second, I wished that I could switch powers with Cate and have an idea of what they were thinking.

“…and don’t forget to schmooze some other donors. Did you get pictures with Marie?” Liza droned.

“I think Y/N has done enough schmoozing for tonight, Liza,” Dad interrupted.

“Excuse me, Mr. Y/L/N, but my job is to make sure that your daughter is seen is the best possible light at all times and---”

“Would you all excuse me?” I asked, standing.

      Without waiting for a reply, I made my way across the room, ignoring some other kids who asked for pictures or donors who kept eyeing my backside. Once I was at the Lis table, I froze. I hadn’t prepared anything and my head was totally empty.

This was bad.

Just when I was about to sprint back to my chair, Mrs. Li noticed me.

            “Oh, Y/N, it’s so good to see you!” Mrs. Li exclaimed.

            Thankfully, my PR training kicked in.

            “Good evening, Mrs. Li. How are you?” I replied.

             She stood and hugged me for a few seconds “Oh, you look beautiful. Doesn’t she look beautiful, honey?” She turned to Mr. Li.

            “Yes, my boy knows how to pick ‘em,” Mr. Li said with a grin.

             I blinked back the shock of my words and smiled slowly. “Thank you. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

            “No, we were done,” Mrs. Li insisted.

     Suit Guy nodded and excused himself while Mrs. Li gently pulled me down to sit next to her. Jordan stared at me the same way they did when I disagreed with them on a floor plan on Property Brothers. Honestly, I couldn’t blame them.

            “Y/N, I must say, I was so sad when Jordan told us you broke up,” Mrs. Li admitted.

            That made two of us.

            “And it was so unexpected. You two were inseparable,” Mr. Li added.

            I nodded. “Yeah, well, things change.” I took a long swig of my champagne.  

            “And where are your parents tonight, Y/N?” Mr. Li asked.

            “They’re here. I think they’ve been talking Polarity’s ear off,” I replied.

            That wasn’t too much of a lie. Dad was happy taking pictures with him on the red carpet and Mom thought that he was okay.

            Mr. Li let out a low whistle. “Impressive. You and Andre do make a nice couple, no offense, Jordan.”

            “None taken, Dad,” they scoffed.

            I hesitated for a second. “We’re just friends…Andre and me, we’re just friends. We’ve just been hanging out a lot more lately.”

        For a second, I hoped Jordan listened to me but I couldn’t tell as their eyes wandered away from their parents and me. This was a mistake, such a stupid mistake. I had to get out of there, someway, somehow.

            Mr. Li raised his eyebrows. “My son may still have a chance?”

      I smiled as mysteriously as I could muster before downing the rest of my champagne. It did nothing to blot out the embarrassment rising from my neck and over my ears. Mrs. Li gently grabbed my uninjured hand in hers.

            “You’ve been so brave with all this, Y/N. Fighting Luke must have been terrifying. Oh, I couldn’t imagine!” she exclaimed.

      No, she couldn’t imagine seeing those glowing eyes every time she blinked nor tensing every time she had to go past Brink’s office to get to the super nice bathroom in the Crimefighting building. She couldn’t possibly imagine all the stupid questions she would get asked or the strange itching pain the burn around her neck caused.

            “It was,” I whispered, glancing at Jordan.

            They finally looked at me but this time, I was thankful they didn’t have laser vision. I quickly set aside my empty glass and turned back to Mrs. Li.

            “But you survived and sacrificed so much,” she added.

            “You could say that again,” I replied.

            “That’s Y/N, always sacrificing herself for someone else,” Jordan seethed.

      It was awful being on Jordan’s bad side and I was doing nothing but exacerbating the situation. There had to be some escape route that I could take. Someone I knew had to come by or someone could maybe ask for a picture.

            “Jordan, don’t be rude,” Mr. Li admonished. “I thought I raised my boy better than that.”

     There was something about Mr. Li’s tone that made my stomach lurch. Or maybe it was the distressed way Jordan looked away and was suddenly fascinated with the fairy lights that hung on the walls. All I knew was that I was slowly pulling away from Mrs. Li and straightening up.  

            “Did Jordan ever tell you how we first met?” I asked.

            “No, never,” Mr. Li said, glancing at Jordan.

            “It was freshman year during the mid-terms. I was slammed with so many assignments that I thought I was going to drown but before that, I would bomb all my classes, especially Brink’s. One night, I was in the library having a total meltdown because none of my index cards made any sense and there were only two days left until the exam.” I paused. “In the middle of my snot and tears, Jordan finds me surrounded by my notecards and books, picks up one of my notecards, and says, ‘I’d be crying too if I was studying something that wasn’t going to be on the exam’. Then, they sat down with me and helped me study. Totally saved my butt freshman year.”

      I left out the part about how they were in their feminine form and rolled their eyes every time I sniffled. But Mr. and Mrs. Li looked surprised but pleased at the same time.

            “I had no idea,” Mrs. Li said.

            “Yeah, Jordan’s always looking out for the people they care about, even if they won’t admit it.” I glanced at Jordan. “They deserve to be Number One in the Top Five and I hope that one day, I can be half the hero I know they will be. So, yes, Mr. Li, you raised a great child who will be a great person and I am happy to know them.”

      Though I could feel Jordan’s eyes on me, I quietly excused myself and slowly walked away. The lights and noise began to blur in front of me. Soon, I felt the tear slip down my cheek and hurried into the bathroom before anyone else could see.

            I immediately walked up to the sink and placed my hands on the counter. “Breathe, Y/N, breathe,” I said in choked breaths.

      It was a difficult fete since the tears started falling as soon as the door closed behind me. I didn’t know why I was crying, I thought I did something positive. Maybe I was crying because I screwed up or I said too much to Marie. Maybe I was crying because I hadn’t cried since the night Jordan broke up with me. Their words tore a piece out of my chest, and I thought that I wouldn’t be able to get back. Maybe I never would.

            The bathroom door suddenly flew open, and I screamed, “GET OUT!” Sending a blast of wind with my bad hand.

      A loud bang and bright light followed, extinguishing the wind without incident. My eyes flew open, and I turned to find Jordan, in their feminine form leaning against the wall. They seemed unimpressed and angry.

            “Careful, don’t want you causing damage to another building,” they deadpanned.

            I swallowed and started wiping my tears. “Why are you in here?”

            “To ask you what the hell was that back there? You just bulldoze in our conversation and say…that?” Jordan said.  

            “I’m sorry, I guess I’m tipsier than I thought,” I muttered.

            “No, this isn’t you tipsy,” Jordan argued.

            “Fine, I got upset when your dad kept calling you ‘son’ and ‘boy’ and it just came out, okay?” I snapped. “I’m sorry I butt into your family stuff, it won’t happen again. We can go back to ignoring each other.”

            Jordan scoffed and walked closer to me. “You mean, you can go back to ignoring me?”

       Were they really arguing with me about ignoring each other? They had been ignoring me this whole time as well. No in-person conversations, no texts, no calls, not even social media interactions.

            “I’m not going to argue with you about this,” I said, my voice hoarse.

            “Look, I’m not going to pretend like after two weeks of nothing, it’s not insane that you would do that,” they continued

            “Okay, so I tried to do a nice thing for you and screwed it up, I’m sorry.”

            “I don’t want your apology.”

            “Then what do you want?” I glared at them. “I tried to fix the Luke and Brink mess but that backfired. Then, I tried to stand up for you in front of your parents, but I screwed that up too. Every time I try to do something nice for you, I end up hurting you instead and I’m tired of it. I don’t like hurting you and if we have to stay away from each other than fine.”

       Jordan was quiet for a long time and during that time, their eyes never left mine. They always had such a cutting gaze, like they could see through everyone and everything. Sometimes, I would be curious and terrified at what they would find if they stared at me long enough.

            “You didn’t hurt me tonight,” they whispered. “I just don’t understand why you did it.”

             I sighed. “Because I still care about you. It’s stupid, right? You broke my heart and I still care about you.”

            “Y/N…”

            I sniffled and turned away from them. “I should get cleaned up before heading back out there. I must look like a mess.”

            For a moment, the only sounds I heard were my sniffling and rifling for the paper towels to fix my makeup. As I dabbed the makeup Jordan whispered, “You never look like a mess.”

      The next time I spoke to Jordan was the day Tek Knight guest-lectured our class. The tall, slimy idiot made the side of my mouth twitch with each word he spoke. His show was ridiculous but maybe that was due to all the editing to make him seem normal. He spoke so grandiosely, and I wondered how Cate, Andre, and Jordan dealt with being interviewed by him.

            “I can’t stand this guy,” Marie whispered.

            “You and me both,” I muttered.

            “…and, as all you know,” Tek continued, “I am a master at interrogation and I would love to take this moment to show you proper technique. Now, I’ll need a volunteer.”      Fortunately, no one raised their hands and I went back to skimming some old class notes. Hopefully class would go by quickly, Dean Shetty couldn’t let this man prattle on the whole time, right?

            “Cyclone, one of our Guardians of Godolkin. Surely, you wouldn’t mind? It could make up for our missed interview,” Tek said with a slight edge to his voice.

            “You can call me Y/N and, fine.” I stood, straightened my blazer that I wore with a houndstooth mini skirt, and strolled down to the seat at the front of the class.

       All that was missing was a blinding light and a seedy interrogation room. I folded my hands in my lap and relaxed into the chair. This would be fine, nothing at all. I glanced at my classmates, offering Marie a small smile and locking eyes with Jordan for a second. I could get through this, Tek Knight was nothing.

            “Miss Y/L/N, I appreciate your participation,” Tek began. “Why don’t we start by going over the events of your friend, Luke’s, death?”

            I swallowed. “I have relayed the story many times, Mr. Knight, unless you didn’t see any of my interviews.”

        That earned a small laugh throughout the class and Tek’s jaw clenched but he smiled.

            “No, I can’t say that I have, I was too busy investigating the details of his death. So, humor me, please,” Tek requested. “What was that day like?”

            Easy.

            “It was a normal day. I had a morning class on forensics and then I had lunch with Cate. After lunch, I did some homework and I decided to go see Professor Brink about an assignment,” I said.

         That day, I did not need to talk to Brink but I had told the lie so much that no one would second guess it.

            “Your pupils just dilated, you’re lying,” Tek said in delight.

            I rolled my eyes. “I’ve told the story fifty times, I think I remember it correctly.”             “Ah, notice class just how defensive she got,” Tek instructed. “Why were you really there?”

     I paused again, my eyes glancing at Jordan. Their expression was unreadable but their jaw clenched for a moment. That day, I went to see Jordan and apologize for everything that happened with Liza since we had not spoken when we all went out the night before. However, Jordan was particularly icy about it and I ended up running into a frantic Marie.  

       A chill ran up my spine at the memory and I turned my attention back to Tek. He was waiting with bated breath and I wondered how much he got off on these.

      “I wanted to talk to Brink about an assignment,” I repeated.

      “Tell that to the sweat on your forehead but we’ll circle back to that. What happened when you got to his office?”

            “When I walked into the building, I saw Marie was in front of his office.”

            “And you didn’t think that was strange since she was a freshman?”

            I shook my head. “No, she was a fan of Brink’s work so it made sense that she would try to talk to him.”

            “Was anyone else there?”

            Yes.

            “No.”

            “Another lie. Who else was there, Y/N?”

            “Marie, Marie was the only person there.” I willed myself to calm down.

            Tek faced the class. “Notice, class, that Y/N is rubbing her hand on her forearm, a classic self-soothing gesture. We are one step closer to the truth!” Then, he whirled back around to me. “Who else was there, Y/N?”

            “Marie. I didn’t see anyone else.”             Tek shook a finger at me. “Oh, you’re a tough one, Y/N, and those are my favorites to break.”

            I huffed and glanced at Dean Shetty, who offered me a pity look. “Do you have any other questions?”

            “Plenty. What happened when you got to Brink’s office?”

            “Well, Marie was nervous to talk to Brink so I knocked on the door. There was no answer, and I opened it and I saw Luke burning him alive,” I said quietly.

            “The downcast eyes and lower tone suggest that not only is Miss Y/L/N telling the truth but there is emotional weight to it.” Tek gestured to me. “Please, continue.”

            “When Luke saw us, something was off with his eyes. He was…infuriated and he looked hurt.”

            “What did he say to you?”

            “He said that we shouldn’t have seen that and now we had to die.”

            “That must have been painful and scary, you had been friends for two years, correct?” Tek asked.

            “Yeah, around the time he and Cate started dating,” I confirmed.

            “What happened next?”

            “I told Marie to run and I tried to hold him off. We got into a pretty intense physical fight and I was able to extinguish his flames long enough for Marie to do some damage,” I reported.

            “We can see that it must have been very difficult with your injuries. What made you think that you could beat him?”

            I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?”

            “Well, according to your record, you’ve fought Luke three times, lost twice, and ended in a draw once. To go from that to disarming him is a large leap.”

       My heart rate started to pick up and I brushed a loc out of my face to distract myself. I just had to stay calm and answer everything with confidence. Confidence was all anyone needed, Liza preached it enough.

            “Yes, Luke was incredibly strong and near-impossible to beat,” I added.

            “But you’ve extinguished his flames before? And you still lost? How did that work?”

       It was an easy gig when Luke was caught off guard. The most I could ever do when sparring with him was play defense. I could feel the heat of his flames still and the flash in his eyes.

            “Just tell them what they want to hear,” Liza’s voice coached in my ear. “No one wants the truth, they want what we tell them.”

      But what was the point of that? Why couldn’t Jordan get the credit? What truth would that be hiding? That they’re a good hero? What was the point of me fake-dating Andre? Who were we placating? Why did I have to play to anything?

      Slowly, I glanced at Marie and then I glanced at Jordan. Marie looked like she was holding her breath while Jordan was hyper-focused. I wondered if Marie knew how insightful she was or could be.

            “It didn’t,” I stated.

      Tek smiled like the Cheshire cat and everyone’s expressions around the room shifted from bored focus to interest. My heart was pumping in my ears and my breath was starting to speed up, but I had to keep going.

            “What do you mean?”

            “I tried to extinguish Luke’s fire that day but it didn’t work. It had worked during one of our sparring sessions but, his guard was lower and I took advantage. The day he died, I panicked,” I reported.

            “The Cyclone panicked under pressure?” Tek asked.

            “Yes, I was scared. Luke was never malicious in our fights, and I could tell he wanted to kill me. Plus, I had to protect Marie but, I ended up making things worse.” I took another deep breath. “When I tried to extinguish the fire, I exacerbated it and set fire to almost everything around us. Luke tackled me to the ground, and I landed wrong, which is how I broke my wrist.”

            “That is a harrowing story, Miss Y/L/N. What happened to Marie?”

            I looked apologetically at her. “She ran and I didn’t see where she went. For a minute, I thought I accidentally got her burned too.” My eyes went back to Tek.

            “And how did you escape?” Tek asked.

            Here it goes.

            “Jordan stepped in and tackled him off me,” I admitted. “Because they’re indestructible in their male form, they weren’t hurt, and they were able to hold him off long enough for me to escape.”

            There, it was all out there. I felt lighter than I had in weeks, and I could have cried at the feeling. For a moment, I wondered why it took me so long to just admit the truth.

            “I thought you said there was no one else there?” Tek countered.

            “I lied.”

            “Why lie?”

            “Partially to protect and help Marie. This situation was beneficial for her, and I played along to help. But she also doesn’t need this to prove how great she’ll be one day.”

            “So, is Jordan part of the reason you were there that day?”

            “Yes,” I admitted. “They’re the reason I was at Brink’s.”

            “But why?”

            “That’s your favorite word,” I scoffed. “I lied to protect myself. I went to Brink’s office to see Jordan to apologize.”

            “Apologize for what?”

            “To apologize for the position I put them in.” I willed myself not to glance at them because if I did, they might telepathically make me shut up.

            Tek walked closer to me and leaned over me a little. “And what position is that?”

            “I made them feel like a burden when they weren’t, they never were,” I whispered, eyeing Tek.

            Tek nodded. “That’s right, you two were an item.”

            “They broke up with me because they thought they were helping me but, they couldn’t have been more wrong. Jordan challenged me and made me think deeper about things.” Tears burned my eyes but I kept pushing. “But the facts are that Jordan protected everyone from Luke, not me and not Marie. You can quote me on that.”

      I crossed my arms and noticed I was breathing harder than usual. Was this panic or relief? How could anyone tell the difference?

            Tek smiled like the Cheshire cat as he continued to circle me. “Notice how even though she got defensive, she is relaxed. Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the truth!”

       Some sporadic applause broke out and Tek leaned over to shake my hand, but I stood, brushed past him, and headed back to my seat. On the way, I could feel everyone’s eyes boring into me but for the first time in a long time, I could not have cared less. Marie was stunned when I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

            “What was that?” she whispered.

            “I’m sorry but you were right, I had a choice,” I whispered back.

     Marie hesitated but nodded as I turned and walked out of the class. Finally, the truth was out there, and it would spread like wildfire on Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram. Part of me wondered how long it would take for the news to reach Liza and another part of me wondered how that conversation would go. She would be infuriated and try to work on a counterattack but, I also could not bring myself to care too much. I did care about how my parents would feel once they found out. They had no idea that I lied.

      The sun was brighter than usual and the students frantically typing on their laptops or talking on their phones were productive, not overly stressed. There was a sense of calm over campus, and it made for a nice ambiance for my walk back to my dorm. As soon as I walked in, I got a FaceTime call from Cate.

            “Okay, what was that with Tek Knight?” she interrogated.

            “Wow, those kids work fast,” I commented, setting my bag on my desk.

            “Seriously. Did you skip the interview so you could do…that?”

            “First of all, I skipped the interview because I had a shoot with Nike that I was contractually obligated to. Second of all, Tek wanted the truth and I gave it to him.”

            I flopped down on my bed and propped my phone on my side table so that I could see Cate’s frowning face which was a mixture of shock and pride.

            “Well, I know this is super therapist-y of me to ask but how are you feeling?” she asked.

            “I feel light. It’s true about the truth setting you free, you know. I feel like I can fly,” I drawled, stretching myself out further on my bed.

            “Technically, you can already fly,” Cate teased.

            “Not the point, Cate. I didn’t realize how much Vought and Liza caged me in. If this is what they did to me, I can’t imagine what they did to Luke.”

            Cate hummed, a solemn expression rolling across her pretty features. “I knew he was under a lot of pressure but…” Cate cut herself off. “Anyway, I am happy that you are feeling better; you can only hold things in for so long before you snap.”

            “Like you would let me snap,” I teased.

            “Of course. Are you worried about your parents?” Cate asked.

            I shrugged. “Only the fact that they had no idea I lied about any of this. I told you how my mom and I had a heart-to-heart at the gala. They want me to be happy and this feels like a good start.”

            “I want you happy too. I gotta get back to psych before Professor Banks sends someone looking for me.”

      As soon as she clicked off, I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and rolled onto my back. This seemed like a fantastic moment for less noise.

            Knock! Knock! Knock!

            Or not.

            I huffed as I pushed myself off the bed and made my way to the door. “I am not going to do any of those stupid TikTok interviews or----”I stopped when I saw Jordan staring back at me.

            “Sorry, I didn’t come by for a statement,” they muttered.

            “N-no, it’s fine.” I stepped aside and they quickly brushed past me.

     As I closed the door behind me, I willed my heartbeat to slow to a normal rate and wiped my palms on my skirt. Jordan dropped their bag in the middle of the room and whirled around to face me.

            “Why did you do that?” they demanded.

            “I wanted to tell the truth,” I answered.

            Jordan laughed humorlessly and rolled their eyes. “Sure you did. Is this another ploy from Liza that you’re playing along with? I’m wondering how exactly this is going to screw me and make you look better.”

            I shook my head and took a couple of steps closer to them. “There’s no ploy! You’ll believe me when the rankings come out.”

            “Oh, I’m sure nothing will change except you might be at Number One this time,” they seethed.

            “Why are you mad at me? I did what you’ve been asking me to do since this whole thing started.”

            “But I didn’t want you to make yourself look bad in the process!” they exclaimed.

    As their words sunk in, I had a chance to think. Class was not over for another thirty minutes, and Jordan never skipped class unless they were deathly ill. At the gala, I did not see Jordan or their parents until I approached them. At the time, I thought they were avoiding an awkward conversation----that still happened-----but now, I wondered if they were trying to protect me or themselves from something. When we broke up, they disappeared until that night Cate practically forced me to go out with everyone and even then, we never spoke. I thought they were avoiding me because they were angry but maybe they were hurt. And when they yelled at me to run from Luke, they almost sounded…scared.

            What did that mean?

     Slowly, I closed the distance between us, swallowing at the tension rising in the room. “I don’t care about rankings or social media engagement right now. If anything happens, I can bounce back but like I said the other night, I care about you and I am tired of hurting you. I know that my lying about what happened with Luke and Brink was messed up and must have caused a different kind of pain and I wanted to make it right.”

            “There’s still smarter ways of doing that, Y/N. Did you coordinate with Liza or something? And what about Marie?” Jordan rattled.

            “No, I decided on my own and Marie inspired me to do it. I had a choice, and I made the right one,” I argued. “Can you please just enjoy the glory and attention you’ll get from this and stop trying to poke holes in it?”

            Jordan shook their head. “No, not when I know there’s an angle to this.”

            “You want an angle? Here’s your angle: I love you and I wanted to help you, just like I tried to at the gala. If it lowers my ranking or makes me lose followers, I don’t care!” I announced. “I am sick of spending hours making sure total strangers like me and avoiding mistakes. I can help other black girls outside of being a hero, through charity or promoting positive representations of us in media. So please, for the love of all that is good in the world, just accept what I did and enjoy the benefits!”

     It was only when the silence filled the room that I realized what I had said. My face immediately warmed, and I felt kind of nauseous. The fact that we never really said the L-word to each other in a year and a half of dating was ludicrous but, we agreed that we did not have to say it if we felt it from each other. It sounded great at the time but the truth was that saying it out loud made it more real.

     Suddenly, my dorm did not feel like the safe space where I could cry, binge-watch Psych, or share a joint with Cate. I suddenly felt like a child again as Jordan stared at me wide-eyed. After a few seconds, they spoke.

            “Oh.”

    Great, that’s what every girl wants to hear after they confess their feelings to their ex. I ran my hands through my locs and started walking towards the door.

            “You can go now. Just try to keep the gloating to a minimum,” I whispered.

    Before I could make it to the door, I felt a familiar strong hand grip my good arm and pull me closer. I did not have time to react as Jordan pressed their lips against mine. This kiss was much different than any kiss we’d ever had, well, any kiss that I ever had. There was pain, passion, anger, lust, and tenderness.

             They slowly pulled away, barely a millimeter from my face, and I exhaled. “You don’t get to ruin your career for me, say that, and then kick me out of your dorm,” they growled lowly.

   A tingle ran up my spine as I leaned forward to kiss them again. It was strange that I had almost forgotten how good they were at this, how much I missed this feeling with them. I felt their hands run up the nape of my neck and pull gently on a couple of locs. I pulled away for a second.

            “You didn’t give me a chance to fight for us,” I muttered.

            Jordan sighed, trailing their hand from my hair to the back of my shoulders. “I didn’t think…I didn’t think I was worth it.”

             “Of course you are, you always were,” I insisted.

            Something lit in their eyes and Jordan smiled so widely that I thought they might crack. They gently pulled me in closer for a hug, scratching my back with featherlight touches.

            “I’m sorry I broke up with you,” they whispered into my shoulder.

            “I’m sorry that I made you think you had to break up with me,” I replied. “Thank you for saving me from Luke, sorry for lying about that again.”

            They groaned. “Please stop apologizing for that.”

            I laughed. “Okay.”

            “Besides,” they stood to their full height, “I didn’t do that great of a job.”

     Their eyes zeroed in on my bruised neck and then glided to my injured wrist. It was as though I could sense the doubt rising within them and I grabbed their face.

            “Hey, this was my fault, not yours. I’m here in one piece because of you, never forget that, okay?”

            “Well, I guess when you put it that way…” They smirked and I swatted their arm with my good hand.

            “Seriously, do not get a big head from this,” I instructed.

            “No promises,” They teased. “So, what now? I mean, I know you love me and all but where do we go from here?”

            “You know how I feel and I’ve done enough heart-opening speeches for one day. But, I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about getting back with you ever since you broke up with me,” I said.

            “Well,” Jordan rocked back on their heels, “I would also be lying if I said that I haven’t thought about getting back with you too and those posts with you and Andre drove me nuts.”

            I raised an eyebrow. “You were jealous?”

            Jordan looked away from me for a moment. “He was looking at you all weird and flirty.”             “It was a fake relationship and you got fooled!” I cheered.

            “It didn’t look fake on his end,” Jordan grumbled.

            “Aww, is little Jordan feeling a little sad still?” I sang in a baby voice.

            “Don’t do that voice, Y/N,” Jordan warned.

            “Or what?”

    Quickly, Jordan’s hands started tapping on my sides in rapid succession and I could hold the giant laugh down. Somehow, I wriggled out of their grasp and made a run for it. I made it about halfway across the room before they tackled me into my bed, continuing their attack. I laughed so hard that tears were rolling down my face. After a few moments, they stopped, laughing as well and slowly playing with the hem of my shirt.

            “Seriously, though, what do we do now?” Jordan asked, slightly out of breath.

            I pushed myself up on my elbows. “Well, I’m open to sneaking around to ease us back into things but I’m also open to suggestions.”             Jordan’s hands slowly moved to rub my sides. “Then I would suggest that we pick up where we left off, if that’s okay with you.”

            I hummed, pretending to think about it, before quickly pecking their lips. “Of course, that’s fine with me!”

            “And you’re sure you don’t care what Liza says?”

            I nodded. “Can we please stop talking about her? You have a lot of making up to do.”

            “Me? You’re the one who chose a freshman over me.”

            “She had a compelling story!”

   I didn’t see Liza’s frantic missed calls or texts hours after Jordan and I competed to see who could “make up” the best. I didn’t see any of the memes or clips from Tek’s interrogation of me either. I didn’t even see the comments on our Instagram official post. All I knew was that I was at peace for maybe the third time in my life and I was not going to let anything get in the way of it again.

#black!reader #jordan li x reader #jordan li x black!reader

[prodbymaui]

Chasing Stars, Losing You

I'll be damned, cupid's demanding back his arrow

PAIRING: jung jaehyun x reader

GENRE: exes to lovers, slow burn, angst, slice of life, fluff, eventual smut, ceo!jaehyun (yes, we love him), model!reader, mentions of Taeyong, Yuta, Mark and Johnny

WORD COUNT: 14k+ words

WARNINGS: mentions of eating disorder, smoking, usage of drugs, self-harming, toxic relationship (?)

SYPNOSIS: When your relationship got announced, it made noises louder that anyone could've imagined. Of course it will, a pair containing a supermodel and a CEO of one of the most successful enterprise that made a name in both the fashion and business industry. But soon enough, everyone witnessed how the perfect relationship they had been envying crumbled down into tiny pieces until there's nothing left to pick up.

TAGS: @lovingvoidgoatee @jaessunflower214 @fluffyjaes @hopefulchick @clblnz @jaehyunsprincess @haebragi @lorenakaspersen @joepomonerof @sadstuffonthestreet @carelessshootanonymous-blog @iraa567 @ethelia

A/N: aaaand it's finally out! it took me forever to finish this fic as this was the longest one I've written after taking a break from writing so bare with me if some scenes seemed to be missing something. and also, this isn't beta read so excuse the grammatical errors, typos and such. anyways, enjoy reading! like and reblogs with comments are highly appreciated! <3

Walking on soft clouds, that's what you felt every second you were with Jung Jaehyun.

The industry itself had told you to fuck off and go back to little hole you used to hide at.  Stomping over you and shouting you shits to make you realize that you're not fucking worthy of everything they had to offer. The modelling industry, despite you being a supermodel, had broke you into pieces more than one could've ever imagined.

But Jaehyun was there to fix you up, every damn time it happened. Jaehyun who was always there to gather you in his loving arms, whispering praises and assurance. Jaehyun who showered you with nothing but affection. Jaehyun who made you a hot chocolate with snow man marshmallows even though it's summer because he knew it was your favorite.

Jaehyun who cancelled an important meeting with a client because you called him, expressing how much you wanted to watch this movie and that day was your only free time. Jaehyun who, despite having a tight schedule, managed to come to all of your fashion shows to support you. Jaehyun who displayed your magazines in his office proudly.

Everytime he's beside you, everyone disappears together with your worries about the world. With all those giggles, cuddles and just overall having him around-- you couldn't ask for more. Jung Jaehyun was the man that you decided you wanted to be with for the rest of your life.

Jaehyun was your own heart.

Your relationship consisted of right balance of public and private. You don't reveal as much on your social medias but also didn't deprived everyone on getting a glimpse of your life. Any special events that happened, they already expected either of you to post a picture of the other.

Jaehyun and you made sure that you still have the privacy you should own while also happily sharing moments with the fans. It was a decision made by the both of you.

Though it was hard to attain a free time, you two always made sure spend it to the fullest. Not by travelling from country to country, no. You spent it by being in each other's arms, feeling the warmth of one another. Bonding over watching movies or cooking together. Because for you, having the other around was enough.

Your manager even suggested that you should make a youtube channel and upload your vlogs with Jaehyun. She was so sure that everyone would be more than happy to see those videos. You shrugged and said that you'll ask Jaehyun about it.

He agreed, actually. And your first vlog was about one of your cooking slash baking chronicles. Jaehyun, much to everyone's surprise, was very good at baking while you, at the other hand, enjoyed watching him and tasting his products.

''How's the mixing going, chef?'' You giggled beside him, pointing the camera at his handsome face. Blush was evident on his cheeks, still not used to having someone take a video of him if not for business purposes.

''Hey, you have to answer my question,'' You poked his crimson cheeks and squished it with one hand lightly.

Jaehyun smiled, ''It's going fine, they're going smooth now.''

Satisfied, you diverted the camera to the mixing bowl in front of your boyfriend. It didn't took him long before finishing it up and moving to the next part which was chilling the dough.

You propped the lenses so it could face both of you and looked at Jaehyun through the screen. ''So, what're we gonna do while waiting for the dough to rise?'' You asked him with a raise of an eyebrow.

''Stare at it 'til it's done,'' Jaehyun replied with a small snicker. You jokingly shook your head and sighed in disbelief of his humor, in which he whined at. He circled his arms around your waist and buried his face on your neck, muttering something about you now have to give him kisses because you hurt his feelings.

You only chuckled at him, ''Fine, I'll give you kisses later.''

You figured that you'll just put a timelapse of you and Jaehyun watching a movie as you waited for the dough to rise. When the time came, you decided to offer rolling down the dough and shaping it to the shapes you like. It varies from simple circles to stars and clouds. After doing so, you popped to the oven and before you knew it, you and Jaehyun were already packing it to share to your friends and kids at the orphanage.

Arriving at the orphanage, you were met by kids rushing towards the both of you as if you were parents who came from work. ''Oh! careful there, Taehee,'' You softly reminded the little girl, catching her just in time.

Jaehyun sat at the floor and you settled beside him, you don't want to risk breaking the little chairs trying to fit your grown asses to them. ''Mister Jaehyun, what is that?'' The 4 year old boy, looked at the packet with shining eyes.

''This is a cookie, Taeho. You told me last time that you like them right?'' Jaehyun smiled widely with his eyes that only a fool could say that it wasn't genuine. Taeho gasped and fell to the floor dramatically, a hand over his mouth as he processed what Jaehyun said before.

''Hey, everyone, listen! Mister Jaehyun brought us cookies!'' Taeho shouted in excitement, jumping up and down. The children went from being scattered around the room to running towards Jaehyun, tackling him to a hug. Some were even kissing his face to express gratitude.

''I brought cookies too,'' You pouted at the lack of attention given, raising your little packets as well to show them. Taehee and some of the others ran to you, ''Don't be sad, I'll try yours!'' Taehee grinned at you while reaching to the cookies.

The staffs wanted to take a picture and video of both of you to show the world how genuine and kind you were to the kids. But refrained themselves because they knew you weren't doing this for publicity. So they just enjoyed watching you taking care of them, giving each child the same attention.

''Wow, who's that beautiful princess I am seeing?'' Jaehyun exaggeratedly said, rubbing his eyes with his fists to take 'double-look' to Taehee who was twirling around in front of him with a crown on her head. ''You look so pretty, Taehee!'' He complimented, even clapping his hands as if he just finished watching some high-quality theater show.

You snorted at Jaehyun's actions, finding it cute how he tried so hard to praise Taehee in every possible way. Your heart was warm watching the interactions exchanged between them. Admit or not, you had imagine how Jaehyun would be such a good father to your own children.

Snapping out of your little bubble, you turned around when you felt a little tap on your shoulder. Taeho was standing behind you, holding a piece of paper. ''Hey, what's that, buddy?'' You pointed at the bond paper in his hands. He sat on your lap and showed you a drawing, one look from it and you could tell it's a vision of a 'perfect' family.

At first, you though Taeho drew what seemed to be his desire. His want to meet his parents again and be with them. But you were wrong. Taeho took a few inhales and exhales, catching his breath.

He first pointed at the two kids, ''This is me and Taehee,'' You nodded at the mention of his twin. ''This is Mister Jaehyun,'' His finger moved to the male adult. ''And this is you!'' Lastly, at the female adult. ''I drew us!'' Taeho cheered happily.

You paused for a moment before grinning widely, ''Oh that's so cool, Taeho! You did so great!''

''Our teacher at school told us to drew our family but I don't have mommy and daddy so I drew you and Mister Jaehyun,'' He explained. You told him how you were thankful that he considered you as a family and complimented his drawing, telling him he have a future for it.

The visit ended with you bringing home the precious masterpiece of Taeho and a kiss from all the kids. It was already night when you and Jaehyun reached your apartment. Once you finished showering, Jaehyun came next.

''I saved some cookies for you at the fridge,'' Jaehyun muttered, giving you a sweet kiss before entering the shower. You only hummed at him. Minutes went by and Jaehyun went on his way to get his pajamas at the living room inside his small luggage-- getting a peak of the kitchen.

And when Jaehyun saw you throwing out the cookies he made, he said nothing.

Weeks had past by, fashion week were coming quicker that you had expected. You're booked to the brim and that was what Jaehyun was worrying about. You rarely responded to his texts, not answering his calls most of the time. He couldn't even get the chance to visit you himself as he's busy as well so he made sure to send flowers and letters everyday to your apartment.

''Oh lord, you're gaining weight, dear,'' The designer, seemingly horrified, whispered to your ears as he stared at you through the mirror, tightening the laces of your top with a struggle. You pursed your lips, of course you noticed this as well. It was the lack of exercise, you thought.

The fitting had come to an end with a sound of disappointed 'tsk's was heard from the designer beside you, a few shakes of his head and a sigh. You remained standing in front of your reflection, staring and observing your body. The man came up to your side again, holding your shoulders and smiled softly.

''Listen, dear. You already look pretty, angelic even,'' That pricked out a single thorn of your throat but what he said next poured a ton of thorns right after the relief. ''But you would suit my designs more-- no, you would be more beautiful if you lose weight. Remember what I told you before? Beauty equals to skinny. You're not beautiful if you're not skin and bones.''

And you agreed. Models who doesn't have their ribs showing through their skin have no place in the fashion industry. The clothes wouldn't hang pretty on you if there were fat getting on the way. He was right. You should lose weight.

Travelling around the city, going from places to another. It was safe to say that you were emotionally and physically tired. Even with all of those you still have to keep a good physical appearance for the paparazzis who were hungry for a snap of you at any given time.

You were done for the day and could finally sleep in your own apartment instead of sleeping on a mattress and sharing a hotel room with your manager.  Sighing, you took off your shoes and hang your coat behind the door. Making your way to the kitchen to grab some water.

What surprised you was being met by the back of a man, cooking at your kitchen while humming and whistling to the music being played. You knew that back so well. ''Jae?'' You murmured under your breath but he turned around any way, with that smile of his that you love so much.

''Surprise?'' Jaehyun quirked an eyebrow, smirking at you for a second before placing down the pan at the table, which you didn't noticed was already set. ''Have a seat,'' He gestured and you did.

Seeing all the foods that he prepared, you appreciate it, truly. But you can't deny the nervousness bubbling up inside you, all those comments from countless designers and other models flashing your mind. You gulped as you remembered what they said,

''Lose some weight, will you?''

''You're getting fat, dear.''

''Skin and bones are the only acceptable thing here.''

''Fashion show or laying in your bed with all those fats inside of you?''

''God, you look awful!''

Not being able to take those thoughts anymore, you pushed the plate off the table-- the one Jaehyun was serving you his food. The plate shattered on the floor as your hands shook violently, heavy breaths to accompany your shaky eyes.

Jaehyun rushed to your side, hugging you and whispering comforting things at you like he always did. He caressed your hair while continuously planting kisses on your head, hugging you even tighter. He wanted you to feel nothing but absolute protection in his arms.

A few minutes passed and you still haven't calmed down yet. Jaehyun didn't know what else to do as you haven't panicked this long before. As you tried to control your breath, you felt something coming up to your throat when your eyes glanced at the food in front of you.

Thrashing in Jaehyun's embrace, you ran to the bathroom and threw up whatever you can. It wasn't long when you felt Jaehyun holding up your hair, helping you.

You thought about nothing but the fear of eating the food that has so many calories. Fear of gaining weight and losing validation in your field of work.

The next time you saw Jaehyun was when you came home from visiting another brand, preparing for the nearing show. ''Hi, love,'' Jaehyun greeted you with a hug, ready to smell the scent of vanilla on you but was met with a unpleasant one. ''Why do you,'' You pulled away from him in confusion. ''Are you smoking?'' He questioned with his face scrunched up, not liking the smell one bit.

You chuckled, ''What? Of course not, babe. Why would I smoke?'' You shrugged off his questions just like that, kissing his cheek before walking away to take a bath and get ready for bed.

The next morning, Jaehyun woke up without you beside him and he figured out you've already woken up. He made his way out of the room, stretching and yawning but glad that you two finally have a free time to spend with each other. What happened last night was long forgotten, maybe you were telling the truth. There's no reason for you to even lie to him, right?

Wrong, because the moment Jaehyun stepped a foot to the living room, he saw your figure sitting at the balcony with smoke surrounding you. Clearly, there was an ash tray at the table by your side and clearly, you've finished quite a few already.

He stomped towards you way, opening the door harshly before getting the cig out of your mouth and threw them on the ground. ''What the fu-- Jae!'' You stood up from your chair, shocked and eyes widened. ''Not smoking, huh? Then what is this?'' Jaehyun glared at the remains of your cigarettes that was displayed at the table.

He didn't shouted at you. He didn't forced you to say why and how you've to this point. Only accepting the fact that this was something you used as a coping mechanism.

What he can't accept was he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't bring himself to help you get out of that addictive nicotine because slowly, he was afraid to admit that he was getting deprived of time to spend with you.

Hours to days, days became weeks and weeks turned into months. It has been so long since Jaehyun last talked to you. Scrolling to your conversations only made his friends give him a pat of pity on his shoulder because of how many messages of his was left unread by you.

His father had told him that the Jung Enterprise was already nearing its peak and as the CEO, it was Jaehyun's job to reach and maintain it. But it wouldn't work if Jaehyun kept cancelling meetings just to stay at your apartment. Waiting like a puppy for you to come home, which you never did.

It must be the exhaustion in him because he supposed, if you're not gonna reply, might as well drown himself in work, right? And so, Jaehyun decided that it'll be better for him to just divert his attention.

His schedules became packed, meetings after meetings. Signing and approving papers. Moving places from one another. Jaehyun forgot what the words; 'eat' and 'sleep' meant.

Slowly, Jaehyun was able to get a taste of power. It was like he was getting suffocated by the amount of glory and yet he's enjoying that said suffocation. The pleasure he got whenever everyone praised how Jung Enterprise kept climbing up to the top, never failing even once along the way.

This was something he had been dreaming since he was introduced to their business.

And you bet, Jung Jaehyun would exchange this for anything else.

You weren't exactly sure whether to be happy now that you're once again driving back to your apartment. The apartment where you lived all alone, cold even though you're inside your blankets.

While might say otherwise, you would prefer staying a hotel rather than your 'home'. You're just too caught up with all these castings and fittings that you found your apartment a little too 'unfamiliar'. You didn't know how it started but you surely knew where this was leading to.

Because you've been here before, and you knew exactly how to deal with these. But Jaehyun doesn't.

''Oh now, what-- you're into drugs?'' A scoff behind you was heard. You knew you had to explain yourself but you can't afford. Not you've finally got your stomach to stop grumbling about hunger. You got filled without even actually consuming food inside your body. Bonus points for the euphoria you're in, making you feel like on cloud nine.

You hissed but made no effort to face him, continuing to inhale it as the smell of burning leaves infiltrate Jaehyun's nostrils. He pinched the bridge of him nose before walking to your front and throwing the blunt away. Just like what he did with your cigar.

Seeing your blunt being thrown away clicked something inside of you. Standing up, you pushed Jaehyun away. ''What the fuck is wrong with you?!'' Scrambling to search for the thrown weeds with your bloodshot eyes.

''What the fuck is wrong with me? No, what the fuck is wrong with you! Look at yourself! Are you even sleeping?! Are you even eating?!'' Jaehyun spewed out, looking at you as if you're some ridiculous human being.

You glared at him by the mention of eating, ''Why do you fucking care? Just go play in your little office or something..'' You whispered the last sentence harshly before pushing him and made your way out, immediately going to the bathroom.

There you puked even though you hadn't eaten anything for days, bunch of slimy liquids were the only ones that made it out. Just the thought of consuming those calories and gaining weight was something you couldn't bear.

Jaehyun wouldn't understand the pressure of having to stay skinny. He would never. He was born with 2 loving parents and a company for him to inherit the moment he was born. Jaehyun was surrounded by people who loves him while you only have him. Jaehyun would never understand that you don't want to gain weight.

You can't. You need to stay light. You HAVE to stay skinny in order for you to stay relevant in the model industry. You've done a lot to work your way on the top. You've already had a grip of your dream, and you would never let it slip out of your hands.

''I don't know, man. That sounds tough,'' Mark, a friend of his, tilted his head with the emphasize of 'tough'. Jaehyun had told him about the state of your relationship. Days wouldn't pass by without his mind boggling him about it.

Playing with a pen on his fingers, Jaehyun chewed on his bottom lips. ''Do you think it'll be better if we cool off?'' he said lowly and it made Mark froze. The younger took a breath and ran his hand on his face, ''Dude, I mean- it's fine to take a break once in a while and you obviously need it, yes.''

Mark looked down, ''If you think that it'll mend the crack then go for it, but if you think it'll do otherwise, might as well just- you know?''

Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed, confused, ''Well?''

The younger sighed, feeling himself get older much faster just by having a talk with the CEO, ''What I'm trying to say is that, talk to her first. She could be going through something right now, and she might need someone to be at her side.''

Mark shook his head, giving him a dismissive gesture as he stood up to leave. The door opened at the same time, revealing Jaehyun's secretary, ''Sir? Meeting at 3 minutes,'' He reminded Jaehyun.

Jaehyun nodded, getting a few of his papers before walking towards the door with Mark following behind him.

Thinking about what the younger said, the CEO could feel himself question his worth for you. He can't give help to someone who doesn't want help, Jaehyun thought. Maybe his efforts weren't enough for you to trust him?

Jaehyun wouldn't admit it any time soon but he knew that the cool off suggestion was just something that covers what he truly had in mind.

It had been a week since you last contacted Jaehyun, ever since then, you hadn't been replying to his texts and calls. It was the epitome of unexpected but welcomed, though. Cutting him like that wasn't intentional but it sure has brought you some fresh air to breath.

Being with Jaehyun these past few weeks was very suffocating for you even when you've only spent the littlest time together. You felt your every move being watched and you actions being limited. Like a child with her parent.

You inhaled and exhaled the smoke, feeling lighter with every hit of the addictive leaves. Smiling to yourself, you felt at ease like this, no one to look at you as if judging every single step you take.

Your attention was diverted when your front door busted open and clear traces of footsteps were heard coming towards you. It was long before it revealed a fuming Jaehyun.

No words were said as he opened his phone and threw it to you without care.

''A week without having any contact with you and this is the first news that'll greet me? What the fuck are you doing to yourself?'' Jaehyun's voice was calm but his tone can be considered as harsher than the last time he talked to you.

Confusion displayed on your face as you stride towards the thrown cellphone that landed at the table, it showed an article. Without even reading the contents of it, you already knew what is was about, looking by the picture below the headlines. Big bold letters accompanied by photos taken as a proof.

Everyone aren't as innocent as they portrayed to be.

And there you are, looking shit as ever. Beside you was someone you know that held a syringe, injecting morphine to your body.

You scoffed at it, ''It's just morphine, why the fuck are they acting like nobody else used drugs?'' Jaehyun couldn't believe what he was hearing, he can feel his ears stinging with every words you say. ''Are you hearing yourself right now? Just because you've seen someone used it, doesn't mean that you gotta do it as well. Be fucking mature for once and think of your health.''

''Ah, you're done with playing as the perfect boyfriend so now you're moving to act as if you're a fucking advisor or something? like a father who 'knows the best for his daughter', huh? Is that it? Or you have an important meeting in about 5 minutes so you're getting rid of me because you couldn't fucking prioritize your girlfriend before you company!''

Every word felt like a thorn stabbing at your heart as you let Jaehyun know what he had put you through when he started to change. That you still have feeling and emotions. That you were hurting as well, just like other normal human being.

Jaehyun let out a sound of disbelief, ''That only happened when you decided it's better to focus on getting high, smoking different shits everyday than to solve things out with your boyfriend like other normal human being. So yes, maybe I did prioritized my company before my girlfriend. 'Cause even drowning myself in work gives me more assurance that I- for the least -worth something than being with my girlfriend who doesn't even wanna fucking talk to me,''

''Oh my god, stop being so fucking far up your ass!'' Screams filled the room as you threw your coat at the man in front you. He was breathing heavily like you are, gripping his hands to a fist.

The way he worded everything, it was like all of these were your fault. It was as if you took the happiness and love away from the relationship who used to be full of it. It was like you've dragged this relationship down with you, ruining both at the same time until they were impossible to fix.

''All these past months, I've been trying to understand all your shenanigans with your modelling! I even cancelled a fucking meeting with a big client for you! And now you're telling me that all I think about is myself?'' It was like venom dripped out of his mouth as he spit out the words. It hurts but you couldn't care less. You're done pretending as if you're still in a happy and healthy relationship.

As weeks passed by, you were falling deep into a hellhole. You, yourself, doesn't even know if you can trust Jaehyun to save you from it. Considering how he was more determined to bring his company to the top rather than helping you out of your cave, you presume that being with Jaehyun further brought you nothing but more pain and suffering.

Yet Jaehyun doesn't know how you both had come to this. Was it so bad for him to want the best for his company? Was it so bad for him to work on his dreams? Ever since you and him became official, his focus was only on you. So how come he became the selfish one here?

''God, that company again-- then go! The door is fucking open for you to leave anytime! I can't deal with this shit anymore. If you continue acting like a fucking God who had done everything to save his people everytime you cancel a fucking meeting, then you find someone else to roleplay with you!''

''Fine then! I can't also deal with someone so narcissistic. So narcissistic that she can't see the efforts of her man to help her because all she sees is herself and how fucking great she is-- fine! I'll fucking leave. Anywhere is better than being here with someone who can't fucking see the value of other people.'' That was the last thing Jaehyun said before walking away, closing the door behind him harshly as remains of him stayed at your condo.

Jaehyun was no longer your own heart. Instead, he was a walking hammer that smashed your heart into pieces.

Social Elite Modelling Agency had announced the break up of the infamous 'perfect relationship' involving Jung Jaehyun and their model, Y/N.

she deserves it

if I was in Jung's place, I would leave her too

she looks like she hadn't eaten for days, hope she's doing okay

Jaehyun seemed like a very good guy, what happened?

first her career and now her relationship, she always ruins everything good.

-> true, I wouldn't be surprised if she was the reason of their break up, she's the epitome of problem.

the guy was like perfect, the problem was her.

the pictures of Y/N are concerning, hope she's gonna be alright someday.

You scoffed as you slammed the newest Vogue Magazine on the table in front of you, diverting your eyes to the screen in front, followed by a small laugh of mocking, earning a look from your friend. ''THIS is what they call news? This was 2 years ago for goodness' sake!'' Your rants echoed across the room eyes burning a hole through the news casted on your computer's monitor.

''You know media. If they can't find something from the present, they'll dig up the past.'' The deep voice replied to you. Looking at the couch not far from your place, you could see the figure of the man being covered by the same magazine you've been looking at for the past hour.

Shaking your head, you expressed disagreement. ''I just don't understand why it has to be me, Taeyong.'' The said man stood up and walked towards you, sighing as he sat at the chair in front.

''It's because you're still relevant, you're still famous. Media wouldn't care about you and he who must not be named if you both aren't known up 'till to this day.'' A smile appeared on his adonis face, crossing his legs while he leaned to your table.

''Besides, you're not still in love with your ex, aren't you?'' His smile turned into a teasing smirk, eyebrows going up and down as his fingers gestured a heart. You rolled your eyes at his actions, ''Ha ha real funny, yong.''

''Kidding aside, don't pay too much attention with it. It's not worth it. People will eventually get tired of hearing the same news over and over,'' With a tilt of his head, he pointed out.

You sighed and nodded, ''You're right, not worth my time.''

Years had passed since your lowest point of life and you could say that you've learned a lot, including how to manage your own schedules and know what's better for yourself, the real and actually better this time.

After the break up, everyone witnessed how you turned into the worst version of yourself, getting off everyone's radar and suddenly being seen, looking as if you're homeless and had nothing to eat.

Everyone can't almost recognize you whenever they see the photos during that era, except Taeyong, a fellow model. The man was an acquaintance, appeared in your life way before you got into a relationship but with a busy life of both, it's rare that you two contacted.

Not until the news broke out and Taeyong happened to stumble upon it at a website. He didn't hesitated to contact you, though he failed a lot, eventually, he succeeded through a friend who knew you as well. Taeyong refused to tell you who.

It was quite a ride when the red-haired model became your best friend and help you to get through. Starting from stabling your mental health to getting your life back together. You never forget to thank him but he refused it everytime you do. According to him, your recovery was all on you and all he did was support your decisions, therefore, the credits should be given to yourself.

There was even a time where you thought of quitting modelling and start your own fashion business, he didn't even had a second thought before agreeing, gifting you art pencils and a sketchbook. That certain pad was used ever since it was bought, containing an adequate amount of your first sketches.

Taeyong, being great as ever, had become your advisor and best friend despite having a busy schedule that required travelling from one places to another.

His appearance in your life was unexpected but very welcomed and appreciated.

''Have you checked your new project?'' Taeyong asked you as he lazily laid on his back, reaching for the painted stars and moon on the ceiling even though he knew he couldn't touch it. ''I haven't, what's up?'' You don't remember checking it yet, more over remembering to plan checking it as you have quite a lot on your to-do works.

The older man let out a bored groan, ''I think it was a skincare brand,'' You hummed to acknowledge what he was saying, a gesture to say that he can continue. ''I didn't know they are putting you on commercial films nowadays, you tryna' act or something?'' There wasn't any hint of mocking, it was pure and genuine curiosity.

Shaking your head, ''Nah, agency said the company's head was a friend of our CEO, said they were asking for someone that made noises.'' Taeyong scrunched his nose and smiled widely, ''Making noises, huh? Told you, you're still famous as ever. You've always been making noises but hearing it now, I feel like a proud dad.''

Reciprocating his smile, you threw your extra lollipop at him, his favorite. ''And I will always thank you for helping me get back on my feet.''

''Stop,'' The man giggled, disagreeing. He got on his feet and grabbed your hands, dragging you with him to the door. ''Let's go, get some ice cream.''

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you went out of the bathroom, rubbing your hair gently with a microfiber towel to dry it as soon as possible. Rummaging through your drawer, you chose the comfortable yet still presentable looking clothes, deciding with a white crop top and sweat pants, topping it with a black cropped cardigan.

Just as you were putting on a simple and light makeup, your attention was caught by the knock on your front. The arch of your eyebrows furrowed as you didn't expect any visitors nor any deliveries today, a thought of someone finding out about your address crossed your mind but quickly vanished when you saw the newly dyed blonde hair of the one and only, Lee Taeyong, at the peephole.

''What're you doing here?'' Asked by you the moment the door was opened. Taeyong's small smile changed into a jokingly annoyed face, ''Hello to you too, Taeyong. How are you, Taeyong? Are you doing fine, Taeyong? That's really good, Taeyong! I'm glad that you're okay, Taeyong!'' You laughed at his reaction, giving him a light push inside the apartment, the older immediately jumping to lay down on your couch lazily.

''I was bored, I had nothing to do today,'' Grumbling, he answered your question earlier. You snickered getting your makeup and brought to the living room to finish it there, sitting at the floor, in front of Taeyong as you placed the products on the coffee table. ''Shouldn't you be sleeping, then? You always rant about not having enough time to get a proper sleep or something,'' You mumbled, touching up a few areas here and there.

''Do you think I haven't done that yet? Dude, I was asleep for 15 hours straight,'' Taeyong announced to you, emphasizing the word fifteen. You scoffed, ''So you decided to crash at my place and make a mess?'' Pointing at the messy arrangements of his socks and shoes, plus his cap which was thrown carelessly. He appeared slightly abashed with his smile, sending a peace sign and a flying kiss, earning a grimace from you.

Finally done with the makeup, you groaned in slight pain as you stood up, cleaning your things before putting them back to your room and making your way to get your shoulder bag.

''You've already made a mess but don't make more, alright?'' Warning him while you picked the shoes that matches your outfit but not that eye-catching to blend in, tying your shoes for safety. Taeyong quickly shot up, ''Wait- you're going somewhere?'' His eyes followed you as you walked around to check if you had forgotten something, going towards the door to leave.

''Obviously,'' Muttering while fixing the your face mask and cap hid your face, Taeyong scurry to wear his shoes and cap as well, jogging towards you. ''I'll come with you,'' Silence filled the air along with your stare at him, waiting for him to say that he's joking. But none was said, so you presume that he was indeed serious.

Giving you a nod with a bounce, he gestured a hand to tell you to go ahead and lead the way. So you did, closing the door, making sure it was safely locked before making your way to the parking lot of the building to use your car. You didn't hear anything from Taeyong, only following you and sitting at the passenger seat with a jolly vibe.

The only time he talked was when he asked you to play some music and where were you going. Again, you answered with a 'something', gaining a whine from you in which you laughed.

Arriving at the place, Taeyong made a face that showed a disappointment, clearly looking forward to a 'trip', not even a single thought of visiting a grocery store. You chuckled at his expression, ''What? Dude, I need to eat,'' Pointing with your lips, you told him to get a cart while you went ahead of him to start roaming around.

The blonde male would be lying if he said he didn't enjoyed the peaceful shopping-- always being surrounded with crowds and bodyguards, you two doesn't often experience this kind of comfortable vibe, so it's safe to say that this was a breather for the both of you.

It was not until your peripheral caught a sight of someone hiding in plain sight with a camera obviously angled towards you and Taeyong. You hummed, naturally showing back to it as you tugged your best friend's shirt, ''Dude,'' He furrowed his eyebrows at you, questioning your actions.

A brief widening of your eyes was all it took for Taeyong to realize what you were trying to convey, lowering his cap as he pushed the cart away from the lenses. ''Can't have a peaceful grocery shopping, huh?'' Hearing him tsked, holding you by your waist to guide you at a cashier with an empty line and quickly punched your items. Paying for the foods and drinks mindlessly with his card before carrying the bags and ushering you outside the store.

''Let's go, Yuta needs to know about this,'' The car's engine created a sound and before you knew it, you reached your agency's building and you were heading towards your manager's office.

''This is not a big deal but we're definitely gonna have a hard time shutting down the dating rumors,'' Said by Yuta while he scrolled through the news of the spotting of your apparently-- ''grocery date'' with Taeyong.

Yuta had became your manager through, again, your best friend. He was someone Taeyong trusted and knew for the longest of time so the man decided to recommend the japanese. And now, it was not only Taeyong who trusted Yuta with their whole life, but you as well. The japanese had proven many times that he was worthy of your trust plus friendship by how he protected you from further issues and how he supported you with any decisions, not without talking you down about the consequences, of course.

Yuta never pressured you about your body, never been strict about your diet and never limited you with going out with your friends and doing what you wanted. Yuta was a coworker turned into friend in no time.

Playing with your lower lip, you looked up to him, ''So, what do we do?'' A small snort was picked up by your ears beside, ''Let them think that way, it's not like dating me is bad, isn't it?'' Taeyong suggested with a smirk, earning a smack from you that made him let out a sound of pain.

Your manager only sighed at the childish sight of you and your best friend, shaking his head as he relaxed in his chair, ''Denying it immediately would only cause further suspicions, let it die down for a day or two.''

Taeyong shrugged his shoulders while you nodded. Both neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the plan.

''Can you cover up for me? The appointment?'' Rustling and a sound of engine came from the other line, Yuta's voice filled with anxiousness and worry. Nodding even if he can't see you, you agreed to do as he requested-- telling him not to worry.

You were hanging out at Taeyong's apartment when your manager called, saying something urgent came up which was why he couldn't attend the supposed meeting the the CEO of the skincare brand you were going to model for. Handling your own schedules and attending meetings weren't new to you as you've done them for a while after firing your last handler. So you were no way near of fearing to meet the clients, right?

Wrong. When something in you rang bells of warnings, you didn't hesitate to drag Taeyong with you, not even bothering to tell him where you were going. He could only thank the universe for his fashion taste and good looks that whatever he wore made him look presentable and elegant.

Reaching the building of the address Yuta had sent you, you stride confidently inside, making your way to the reception as you informed about the meeting involving your manager and the CEO. Fortunately, the lady confirmed it with no issues, proceeding to lead you and Taeyong to the elevator, you weren't sure if the employees were gawking at you or the man beside you, stifling their giggles as they stole glances.

''Damn, wonder if this is soundproof or something,'' Taeyong whispered to himself as you both stood in front of what seemed to be a door made out of acoustic plywood. Giving him a look, he almost instantly showed a smirk, knowing well that the look you were giving him meant that he should behave and be formal.

It wasn't long before the doors were pulled open, revealing a huge room with high ceiling and minimalistic designs. There were no picture frames of whatsoever, all of it were office related and some were for aesthetic purposes. The lady in charge of assisting you ushered you inside, staying by your side until the man sitting on the chair right at the center of the room turned around.

You held a breath unconsciously when the man with black jet hair faced you, confusion taking over your emotions as your brain processed the image of Mark Lee sitting in front of you, smirking as if he's in some kind of action movie.

''Mark?'' Looking at him up and down with confusion as you observed his stance. Snapping out of your bubble when you heard a snort beside you, you didn't know whether to greet him formally or informally, considering the fact that he was seated on the very chair that clearly was stated to be for the CEO. His lean body doesn't seem to quiet fit the said chair as it radiated massive intimidating vibes, something that you don't get that much from the young man.

Mark's smirk turned into a friendly smile, standing up before walking towards where you stood, offering his hand for a shake. ''Are you the CEO?'' Taeyong questioned with a quirk of an eyebrow, hands on his pockets like some gangster. You nudged him by your arm, sending him another look of warning, pursing your lips as you made a fist with your hand-- hidden from Mark's sight.

''No, he's not,'' A familiar deep voice coming from the entrance of the room rang your ears, it was so familiar that you could feel yourself froze, eyes widening with size where nervous, shock and a lot of mixed emotions were evident.

Soon, a figure of a man taller than the 3 of you made an appearance, pushing Mark lightly out of the way before sitting on where the younger was earlier. Seeing him take the chair, you've now realized why Mark didn't fit it. It was as clear as the clouds outside the building.

His tall and muscular body bent down, settling down as he relaxed against the chair. Just like what other people might say, it fit him like a puzzle. The way he sat with his arms placed on each side, legs open in a comfortable yet formal way and his eyes burning holes through your soul, making you give out answers without him, even asking the questions.

It explained why the chair seemed to have such a dominating and intimidating aura, it fitted its owner. To say the least, it was like the king was finally placed on his rightful throne.

''Take a seat,'' With a nod and a motion of his hand, the three of you sat in silence, as if puppies that had gotten tamed. ''I apologize if I didn't get to greet you when you walked through my door, but I assume, my friend here already did,'' You could feel yourself gulping, you don't even know why this was so nerve wrecking.

You don't know if it was because of the suffocating atmosphere inside the room. Maybe it was the way his piercing eyes panned at you. Maybe it was because of the memories from before started flooding your mind the moment your eyes met his. Maybe it was the longing feeling inside you as you stared at him, not sued to being so distant.

You're not sure which was the reason but you're hoping it wasn't the last. You couldn't afford to regain the longing and despair that kept you tied to darkness in a lot of months. You wouldn't want to experience being so vulnerable and weak that even a small needle would break you apart. You don't want to lose yourself to Jung Jaehyun once again.

The following days consisted of meetings about the contract you'll have with the brand. During those days, you've learned that Jaehyun was able to extend his company to multiple industries and you just can't deny the proudness inside you. By how the employees and staffs around you talked about him, Jaehyun appeared to be so hardworking that many deemed him to spending all of his time working. Comments about his good looks and body image was greatly spread out as well, earning praises here and there with men and women expressing envy and admiration.

''Dude, can you close your mouth? You're literally drooling,'' Taeyong poked to the side, you jerked and pinched him lightly as a revenge. Rolling your eyes, you leaned to him to whisper, ''I'm not drooling, dumbass.'' But your best friend only gave you a mocking smile, ''Sure, jan. Sure,'' Nodding his head as he made an 'okay' sign with his fingers under the table.

Irritated, you slap his hands lightly, making him laugh a little at your pissed facial expression. ''Taeyong, I swear to God, stop--''

''-- important so I hope everyone is paying attention rather than playing games under the table.'' You turned to look at Jaehyun who was talking in front, his eyes boring to you as he gave you an eyebrow flash, clarifying the fact that he was talking to you. He tilted his head when you didn't answered, putting his hands in his pockets, ''Isn't that right, Miss?''

The stares you received from the employees produced a clearing of your throat, nodding and sitting properly, ''Yes, that's right,'' You swear you could feel Taeyong sniffling a laugh beside you. You couldn't believe he just scolded you for not listening like some teacher.

Once the meeting about the plan for the photoshoot was adjourned, everyone proceeded to spend their small break by having coffee, going back to their respective floors and visitors like you and Taeyong, went out to go back to your agency.

You reached for the door handle when you've heard Mark calling you, turning around, you saw him still settled beside his boss slash friend who appeared to be busy reading something. ''Are you busy? Do you have anything to do after this?'' Though a bit puzzled, you shook your head no, curious as to why he was asking you. ''No, I don't have any schedule after this,'' You cleared up, making Mark smile.

''Would you want to eat meat with us?'' He suggested, looking at you like a younger brother asking for a candy to his older sibling. Facing Taeyong, you gave him the same question as you figured out you don't want to join them unless you have Taeyong by your side, ''Would you?''

''Oh, not him!'' The both of you immediately swirled to see Mark seemingly surprised with what he said as well, ''I mean-- it's not like Taeyong would reject a meat treat, right?'' Anyone could sense the awkwardness at the young man's voice but only a few can see how a certain someone shot him a look.

Taeyong hummed, ''I do have something after this,'' You prayed for him to reject the offer, believing that your best friend knew you well that he knew you wouldn't want to join the two. ''But sure, at dinner?'' Your jaw dropped at his request, in contrast to Mark and Taeyong's questionable grin.

''Sounds great! You two have a safe journey to wherever you're going!'' At least the excitement in Mark's voice made you smile.

Dinner came and the four of you were now seated in a rectangle shaped table with Mark at Jaehyun's side, and Taeyong at yours. It actually surprised you that you-know-who agreed to come, considering that his face doesn't seem impressed when Mark suggested it.

Thanks to Mark and Taeyong for the constant chatting about random things that helped breaking the silence, because if it weren't for them, the awkwardness surrounding your and Jaehyun's side would kill you.

Taking a bite of the fillet mignon, you joined the conversation, ''Since when did you two got this close?'' It was pure and genuine curiosity, not laced with any bits of malice nor mocking so you're not really sure why they seemed to be frozen, taken aback by your comment.

''Since we met him? We bumped into each other a lot after that, so we got close, you know?'' Taeyong nonchalantly replied, hand gestures and all to support his claim. You could only hum, accepting the reason as you don't really have the choice to do so.

''I see,'' Nodding, you didn't pay any attention to them again, munching on your food with hopes of brushing off the uncomfortableness. Minutes had passed by and Mark excused himself for a smoke break, pulling Taeyong with him as according to the young man, he still have a lot to share.

While the two departed from the table, you were left with Jaehyun who was busy typing away on his phone. Which was honestly, something that you're thankful for, because ''God, this is so boring-- I felt like dying.''

''Talk to me, then,'' You swivel around, surprised by Jaehyun's mumble, only to see him still focusing on his screen with his eyebrows scrunched to the middle. Tilting your head a little, you convinced yourself that maybe you've heard him wrong.

Continuing to finish your food, you wondered why the two were taking so long, Taeyong doesn't even smoke, he already quited a long time ago. Thoughts kept running through your head as you chewed, and maybe, you should've kept them to yourself. It was too late before you realized that you've voiced out what you were thinking, ''Super awkward,'' Even prolonging that letter 'a' with the urge to express it passionately.

You, then swore, heard Jaehyun mumbling under his breath again, ''Maybe if you didn't bring your little boyfriend with you,'' But when you gave him a brief glance, he was talking to his phone, the speaker directly at his mouth as if to emphasized that he was on a call.

Feeling like he was targeting you, though knowing it was immature, you still replied without even having the sureness that his comments were to specifically attack you. ''Oh who wouldn't love to bring my boyfriend everywhere? He's just so sweet,'' Hiding your smirk behind the napkin being pat to your lips, looking down a second before peeking at his reaction.

Your smirk widened when you saw how his eyebrow raised in question and his facial expression seemed to be irritated. What made you laugh was the way he so subtly scoffed, whispering ''Sweet, my ass.''

A clearing of throat was heard as the two men sat beside you again. The little test of yours wasn't done but it was enough for you to know that Jung Jaehyun was still affected by you.

The night had come after a very long day and you were unfortunate to not bringing your own car, so you were stuck with waiting for a car that you booked online. Yuta had warned you not to use these kind of apps as it will increase the possibilities of having your address leaked and of course, a stalker. But you don't really have a choice right now, given that it's very dark outside and you've got no one to ask help, Taeyong who was your one call away was currently at the other end of the earth.

Almost pass 20 minutes, you've gotten impatient and near to disturb Yuta to come pick you up when a black BMW car pulled up in front of you. Preventing yourself to squeal in glee, you tiptoe to steal a peek through the passenger side's rolling down windows, expecting a driver looking guy but instead was greeted by a CEO with a stern face, looking ahead and not moving at all.

You blinked the confusion away, not believing what you were seeing, only snapping out of your trance when Jaehyun turned to you, ''Does your manager know you're still here?''

Putting up a facade, you replied with your chin up, ''Yes, he does.''

''Is he picking you up?'' You hated how that eyebrow of his was so intimidating.

''Yes.. Of course, he will,'' You almost pinched yourself when you felt your voice almost shaking, wondering you felt so nervous around him.

Hearing him let out a short scoff, you saw him rolled his eyes a bit before settling his left hand on the window he just rolled down, playing with his lips as he looked ahead. His right hand whose fingers were tapping stopped after a minute. Jaehyun faced you again, his arms remaining where they were, ''I'm only gonna ask this twice, is he picking you up?''

You pondered a bit, thinking of the consequences of whatever decision you might follow. Whilst doing that, it appeared that you were taking quiet a long time when Jaehyun thought your silence meant no so he slowly drove away from where you stood.

''It's okay, I still have a booked car,'' Breathing out, you opened your phone with ease inside you, just to be greeted by the word cancelled at the bottom part in massive bold red text, as if mocking you for making the wrong decision.

It was as though you were cursed with bad luck because of how everything doesn't go to your way today. Before you could even wish that someone you know will pull up in front of you and pick you up, the same BMW car showed again, honking once, rolling down his window.

''Get in,'' was all he said, not even giving a glance. You don't want to risk the chances of getting left alone again despite the urge to reject the offer so you climbed up and settled beside the person whom you didn't expect to have this kind of interaction one more time after those years.

You felt his stare, judging and observing you. Gulping, you didn't know how to react, your eyes shaking as you tried to figure out why Jaehyun was staring at you.

Answers were given yet multiple questions appeared when he slowly leaned towards you, getting closer and closer as seconds passed by until you could feel his breath panning against your cheeks. You turned to face him in confusion, reaching out to put a barrier between the both of you using your palms when you heard a click  you, followed by Jaehyun settling back to his own seat, placing his arm on the open window again while the other was on the handle.

It was only then when you realized that he was buckling the seatbelt for you, the realization made you clear your throat out of nowhere, ''You should've just told me,'' You declared, wanting to convey that you didn't liked what he did one bit.

''I would if you weren't too busy inspecting my car,'' He said nonchalantly, spinning the handle with his right hand, looking side by side to make sure he wasn't gonna hit something. You might hit him though by how the way he replied to you, it irritated you for no reason.

A pregnant silence filled the car as you watched through the window, it was only broken when Jaehyun suddenly spoke, ''Do you want something?'' Your eyes diverted to him full of accusations and hits of malice.

He raised an eyebrow at your expression, ''Don't be so full of yourself, I'm just hungry. It would be disrespectful of me if I didn't asked you,'' God, why was he acting like this? It was like you're dealing with a teenager going through puberty, hence the annoyance and the endless comebacks.

Rolling your eyes, you were about to shake your head to reject the offer when your stomach grumbled loudly, announcing how you haven't eaten anything since morning. Glancing at Jaehyun, you don't know if your eyes were just playing with you but you might've seen him stifling a smile behind the fingers that was playing with his lips.

''Mcdonald's?''

''Yes, thank you.''

Embarrassment took over you to the point where you just wanted the floor to swallow you and never spit you out. Fronting as something or someone was harder than you thought, especially in front of someone who knew you well. Maybe even more than yourself.

You were definitely more than glad to have reached your building, you've tried to lessen your interaction with that man after the 'grabbing some food' scene but you couldn't avoid it as you had to tell him where you lived.

Mumbling a simple 'thanks' was all you did before getting out of the car and rushing inside the building, sighing in relief when you've entered your apartment. The day was tiring enough for you to immediately washing up and going straight to bed.

Morning came and what had greeted you was multiple calls and texts from your surely angry manager, accompanied by Taeyong's consistent knocks on your door. ''Bro, I swear to God-- if you don't fucking wake up--'' Shooting up, you quickly opened it, scared of what he may do as the last time he said that, he threw a bucket of an ice cold water at your peaceful sleeping figure.

You did your routine much quicker, even skipping a few of them that wasn't crucial to your hygiene before dragging Taeyong out of the couch to your car. Thankfully, you arrived at the photoshoot earlier than you expected, you were still late though. ''You owe me a coffee,'' Whispered by Taeyong before he left you for another schedule.

Bringing Yuta with you to the coffee shop might be a wrong decision as you always ended up paying for the drinks, him reasoning that it was your payment for making him do those extra works, which you agreed to. Zipping your bag open, you rummage through it to look for your wallet but it wasn't where you've always put it.

Tsking, you explored the other parts of your bag, yet no signs of your wallet was seen nor felt. Yuta might've sensed it as he walked towards you to ask what's wrong, you told him about it, resulting in him asking where you've last put it.

''I promise, it was just right here,'' You said with panic, still searching.

''Inside your bag? Where did you put it last night, then?'' Recalling, you've put in on your bedside, given that you were too tired. You still had it when you and Jaehyun brought food-- bells rang inside you as a light bulb seemed to lit up above your head. Jaehyun! You could recall a small tud sound when he buckled your belt, that should be your missing purse.

''I.. I might've left it in my apartment, I'll wire it to you once I get home,'' Giving him a sheepish smile, you received a look full of suspicion from Yuta, nodding at him to assure. With your manager paying for the drinks, you were now left with the problem you didn't want to face.

How were you gonna contact Jaehyun and ask for your purse back?

The sound of a couch rustling barely passed through your ears, getting your attention from the focus of posing in front of the camera to the corner of the room, you slightly caught a sight of someone in a suit with his legs crossed. It was no brainier of who it was sitting with such overpowering aura, there was only one man who you knew could do it.

His were boring to you as you followed the instructions of the director, acting all lovey dovey with your co-model, showing the products through placing them on your partner's face lovingly. ''Can we do more?'' The director requested in which you two followed. Your coworker's, Haechan, arms snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as he rubbed his nose with the product with yours, creating a soft and domestic moment.

The staffs cooed at the actions, absolutely satisfied by the chemistry you're radiating. From your peripheral, you saw the way Jaehyun's jaw tightened, his hands tapping his knee continuously before he made the decision of standing up and leaving the scene.

As if on cue, only a few scenes were took before the director announced the end of the photoshoot, thanking and praising everyone for the job. You made your way to change clothes as the sando and denim shorts were too thin for your liking, the cold breeze of the air condition seeping through the fabric.

Reaching for the hem of your top, you stopped your motions when you heard the door opened, a certain CEO entered. His eyes fell on you, he didn't hesitated nor had second thoughts as he stride to your way slowly, hands caressing his wrist before fixing his cuffs.

Wanting to avoid him, you stepped backwards but was unfortunately met with the edge of the counter where the makeups were placed. Not getting any time to walk away as boh of his hands were settled at either side of your body, caging you in, cornering you as his eyes searched for yours.

The silence thickened, your gulp and breathing were heard along with the buzzing of the AC. Gripping the edge with your hands, you failed to lean backwards as the CEO lowered his head, making you face him directly.

The time slowed down like some disney movie when your brain processed how Jaehyun moved closer and closer, his fingers brushing your waist that electrified your body, pursing your lips as you placed a hand to his chest to stop him.

Not really knowing why, you felt humiliated by how he chuckled lowly at your action, biting his lower lip before bringing his face close enough that you could feel his breath fanning your nose. Your own voice got caught in your throat when you tried to grumble a protest, only producing a squeak.

His lips hovered above yours, forming a smirk, decreasing the distance little by little until there was a centimeter gap left. You gulped for the nth time, it was so close yet still so far. With your hand forming a fist, you scrunched a part of his dress shirt along with it.

Jaehyun's lips moved upwards a bit, stopping once he decided the movement was enough. He observed your face a little, detecting any uncomfortableness. All be damned when he didn't detect anything. Proceeding to place his lips at the tip of your nose lightly and softly, pulling away as the door opened just in time.

''Sir? Have you found your watch?'' Jaehyun hummed at his employee's question, stretching his hand to reach for something behind you, putting it on his wrist and wearing it again.

You heard him whisper before walking out of the room, ''Should've never left something so important,'' It was only you who could sense that he wasn't only talking about the watch.

You left the venue with a lot of thoughts floating in your mind, one of them being what will happen next?

Taeyong's sharp gasp pierced your ears, hand over his mouth as if he couldn't believe what his screen had projected, ''What's up with you?'' You asked him, giving him a glare mixed with wonder. ''Did you just denied our lovely, perfect and healthy relationship?!'' He pointed at you with so much accusations, mouth wide open, it was as if you've been convicted to a capital crime.

''What relationship?'' Eyebrows scrunched to the middle, you reached to peek what he was looking at, there you saw the big bold letters about how the dating issue between you and Taeyong weren't true. ''Dude, I did not deny nothing,'' It was the truth, you're too caught up with your current projects that you even forgot about the said 'scandal'.

You shushed Taeyong when your phone rang, displaying Yuta's name, sliding the answer button and placing the speaker on your ear. ''The photos came out,'' He announced.

With your eyebrows creased to the middle, you responded, ''And so?'' Not sure as to why he was telling you this. ''Well..'' By the tone, your eyes already rolled to the back of your head, knowing that this meant his usual request. Already detecting your reaction, he urged you to listen first, ''Wait wait! To be fair, this is for your another project, okay? Plus, It's a really really good one. If you want proof, I'm currently with Taeyong!''

''He's right beside me, what're you talking about?'' Screaming at your ear enabled his voice to be heard even without being on speaker, ''Dumbass,'' Taeyong muttered under his breath.

You heard him pause, you could almost hear his reasons being picked, ''I mean-- Taeyong's with me in this project, he was the one who told me about this certain someone wanting you on the runway,'' Shaking your head in disbelief, you don't have any clue as why he was lying to you but having so much trust with the man, you couldn't care less.

''Whatever, what favor would you want me to do this time?'' Yuta let out a small giggle, wondering if he asked favors this frequently that you already knew what was about to come.

''Can you pick up the hard copies?''

''Why do we need the hard ones? Can't you just like-- send it through emails or something, it's 2023.''

''Nah, the company wanted a hard copy.''

''Is it necessary? Really?''

''Yes, it is.''

''Fine, where will I pick it?''

That's how you ended up in front of the oak wood door with the word Chief Executive Officer plastered in it, gripping the sling of your shoulder bag as you changed weight from one leg to another in an attempt to brush off the nervousness bubbling inside of you.

Knocking against it, you saw the light on the door handle turned green, indicating that it was unlocked and you can freely enter. Twisting the handle, you slowly stepped a foot after foot inside the huge room, the same placement of things met your eyes, not even one being moved.

Except for the atmosphere surrounding the space, it was more of one where you could focus on your work and one that could tell anyone not to disturb the person inside. You expected him to be surprised as he looked but it seemed like the opposite when his eyes met yours as you took a seat in front of him placing his pen down as he greeted you formally and you greeting him back. Awkward, to say the least. Yet you're certain, he anticipated your arrival.

''Yuta had told me I had to get the hard copy of the outcome as my agency requested it, your employees led me here,'' You explained, rapping the words and almost stutter in the middle. Jaehyun made a buzzing sound with his mouth-- a hum, nodding before standing up and making his way to one of the drawers settled by the wall. He took out a folder, walking back to you and stretching his forward. You received the folder with a 'thank you', wanting to leave the room right away.

''I'm surprised you came alone today,'' Out of nowhere, Jaehyun commented that gained a snort from you, recalling his childish tantrum about bringing Taeyong with you everywhere. He placed his palms on the table as he leaned backwards, giving his legs time to relax while he put most of his weight on his arms.

''What? Were you expect my little boyfriend to come with me?'' You diverted your eyes at him with a challenging look, seeing how he hid the way he gulp made you gain confidence.

Shaking his head no, Jaehyun replied, ''You mean your best friend?'' Ah, so he'd seen the news as well, huh? You could've mistaken the glare of his for something near hope and assurance, as if he wanted you to confirm that Taeyong was nothing but a friend to you.

There was no reason not to lie, given the fact that he wasn't someone important in your life no more but you didn't. Instead, you did confirmed his claim, wanting to see what his next love will be. Your lips curving up to a smirk, ''Yeah, my best friend-- slash boyfriend.''

Jaehyun reciprocated your smirk, he got on his feet fully once again, taking steps closer to you. His torso faced your head because of his height, you didn't looked up-- you don't want to. But his fingers ever so gently brushed against your chin, tilting them upwards so he could see the view of your face clearly.

''Still lying, I see,'' The way he towered over you and his fingers holding your chin with care, it was too familiar. So familiar that what was about to come next was inevitable, your body already giving in without any protest.

The fingers moved upwards, expanding the skinship from his fingers to his whole palm settling at the side of your face. He bent down to your level, facing you directly as he kept the eye contact, not blinking in fear that he wouldn't catch a glimpse of what he wanted to see from you.

Sounds became mumbled, feeling the whole world stopped spinning as Jaehyun's pillowy lips pressed slowly and softly against yours after years. Your eyes, as if instinctively, closed, memories rushing back at you with the contact you knew your body was longing for.

He pulled away after what seemed to be an eternity, his eyes full of fondness and hope met your doe ones, thumb caressing your cheek gently as he heaved a sigh. ''Tell me to stop,'' Jaehyun whispered, gulping for the nth time.

''Tell me you don't want this,'' The CEO's brown orbs plead you to do so, wanting everything except invade your privacy and disrespect you. Instead of hearing what he wanted, his mouth that was slightly ajar were once again in contact with yours, pouring all your unsaid feelings to the kiss as you circled your arms on his neck.

You heard him mumbled against your lips, ''Fuck,'' His hands snaked around your waist, pulling you up with him and making you settle on top of his table, a much comfortable height for the both of you.

The kiss deepened with passion, the urge to have each other close even when there's no gap to decrease no more. Your hands reached the hem of Jaehyun's dress shirt, tugging at it causing a fond laugh from the man. Taking off his top, the muscled body made you drool, it was definitely more buffed than the last time you saw it. Your hands traveled from his neck to his waist, placing kisses to his chest while he reached out behind you, locking the door with a single click from the buttons beside his telephone.

You licked a stripe on his nipples, earning a groan from him as his hand went through your hair, hesitating to grip them-- not wanting to hurt you. But Jaehyun, out of all people, should know how you love pain in sex. It seemed like he remembered that, because with just one look from you, his lips curved up at the same time as his hand formed a fist, injecting pain with pleasure to you. Your smile told him everything he needed to know.

He kissed you one more time before moving his kisses to your neck, sucking and licking but careful enough not to leave obvious marks, although you slightly wished he did.

Unbuttoning your cropped cardigan, his eyes were blessed to see the sight of your breasts barely covered by your bra, he slowly slid it off your shoulder, appreciation seeping through his pecking of your skin along the way.

He, next, worked on your square pants, not having any difficulty in taking it off as it slid so effortlessly off of you, presenting a sight he longed for so long. Jaehyun traced every curves of your body with pressing his lips softly against them, taking a deep breath as he pulled away for a moment, staring at you with so much admiration that you felt blush creeping up your cheeks.

''So fucking beautiful,'' The CEO unbuckled your bra and held the waistband of your underwear between his fingers, with you taking the initiative of getting your bra off. He kneeled down, giving your inner thigh a few kisses before reaching to the center of your two legs. Jaehyun ate your pussy out as if he was making out with your lips, his tongue were all over and his face turning sideways multiple times in an attempt to reach further.

Cursing, you spread your legs open to give him space, yet his hands stopped you, grabbing each side, putting them on his shoulder, not letting it get far away from him in any way. You forgot how Jaehyun loved the thigh burned he got everytime he ate you out.

Deprivation can be shown by how he sucked on your clit, middle finger working their way in and out of you with a squelching sound. ''Jaehyun, fuck,'' God, how he loved the way you moaned his name. He had been wanting to hear that since then, only settling for porn actors as he couldn't afford having you in his arms again.

But that changed today, you're here right now. Caged in his arms, moaning in pleasure, screaming for more with no hints of protest, Jaehyun couldn't ask for more.

Placing your hand in his strands, you pulled a little and Jaehyun knew you too well to remember that this was a telltale sign of you coming close, he maybe can't see it but he knew that your back was currently arched as you squeezed his head between your legs, jerking a few times before he felt your salty juices on his tongue.

He groaned in satisfaction, licking and wanting for more, he just couldn't get enough of it. As much as he loved the taste of you though, Jaehyun couldn't ignore the ache and throb of his cock inside his pants, as well as your pleas of having him despite just coming down from your previous high.

Getting on his feet, he picked you up with little to no struggle, bringing you as he laid you down on the couch. You failed to notice how his hand were unbuckling his belt, throwing it far from you two, moving to his button and taking off his whole pants.

When you've realized that his bottom were thrown away, your hand palmed his bulge through his boxer almost right away, head still quiet caught by how Jaehyun were eating your neck, surely having a hard time not placing marks.

''Come on, Jae,'' You urged him, kissing him in tongues as you circled your legs on his waist, grinding up against his clothed cock, gaining a low moan from him. ''Want my cock, babe?'' The cockiness in his tone and the annoyingly smirk on his face matched the size of his cock. It was way beyond the average, bonus points that he knew how to use it well.

Nodding, you grind harder, expressing your want with your actions causing Jaehyun to chuckle lowly. You soon, felt his bare tip on your pussy lips, teasing you as it slid up and down but never entering you just yet.

You grumbled in impatience, wanting to slap off the smirk on Jaehyun's face, ''Bratty, huh?'' Dominance took over his deep voice, his hand went to grip your thigh as the other caressed your cheeks. You couldn't take the intimacy of Jaehyun's stare so you decided to look where you two meet.

Gulping, you used the begging expression you knew he loved so much, ''Please, Jae,''

He cursed at the sight of you begging for him, again, ''Fuck, you just know how to get me, don't you?''

Slowly, Jaehyun pushed inside of you, his length stretching your walls with its width and girth, you ignored the ache taking over you, pleading him to go all in.

Yet the CEO only shook his head, kissing you softly, stroking your sides inna comforting manner. It reminded you of your first sex with him, always distracting you from the pain and only letting go when it was time for pleasure.

That was exactly what he need, starting with slow pace before picking it up bits by bits, letting you adjust to his size as his hips jerked harsher each thrust, reaching deeper into you. You threw your head back, exposing yourself fully to Jaehyun, giving him access to everything, his hands went to hold your throat but retreated, moving to your breasts as he fondled them, licking and nibbling, giving the same amount of attention to each.

Maybe it was because of your last orgasm or maybe it was due to how Jaehyun thrusted feverishly inside you, hitting directly to your sweet spot, sending you to an overwhelming feeling of addicting euphoria that you don't ever want to escape from. You don't know which but surely, one of them was the reason you felt another climax crashing down on you once again.

Screaming and chanting Jaehyun like a mantra, you unconsciously dug your nails in Jaehyun's back, earning a hiss from the man as lines of red was painted on his skin, giving him extra pleasure other than the delicious clenching of your walls around his veiny shaft.

''Oh my god, Jaehyun!'' You shut your eyes tightly, holding Jaehyun close as you locked his hips with your legs, grasping his biceps when you've felt your climax finally breaking, your body shaking from the intensity. Feeling overstimulated when Jaehyun's hips didn't stopped from moving, reaching his own high. He immediately pulled away, jerking his cock, with him whining your name, eyes rolling to the back of his head as his mouth fell open, white strings coming out of his tip, landing on your stomach.

When he came back to his senses, he stood up from the couch, walking around to grab some tissues, wiping the remains of him on you, mumbling, ''Sorry for that.''

It was hard for you to determine if he was talking about the cum on your stomach or the relationship that failed, caused by pride and greed.

''So.. are you two now dating?'' Taeyong asked with confusion evident in his tone, followed by a nod from Mark, Yuta and Johnny. You laughed with Jaehyun, sharing a look before answering, ''I guess? Maybe?''

Mark's eyebrows furrowed, ''What kind of answer is that?'' The man beside you sheepishly smiled, reflecting yours, ''The kind of answer, we will give you everytime you ask us.''

That was the last thing they've received from your pair as you already skipped away from the scene, hands tangled together, wearing smiles brighter as ever. ''They definitely, are back together,'' Johnny declared.

''Congrats to us, and our efforts then!'' Mark cheered, raising his glass of beer for a click in which the others followed. ''Jaehyun owe us a lot,'' Yuta reminded his fellows with a shake of his head.

Getting back together with Jaehyun, it made you realized a lot of things. Such as your faults, his wrongdoings and the areas you two had lacked to fulfill. You decided to try again, the both of you.

But this time, with much understanding and patience for each other. You've figured out the importance of them in a relationship, playing vital roles in keeping it healthy and functioning.

The love now overpowered the pride.

''I'm so sorry, for not giving you a chance, for not letting you in, for belittling your problems, and for pushing you away.''

''I'm sorry, for pressuring you to open up, for making you feel obligated to share even when you're not ready yet, and for giving up with knowing well how you're going through something severe.''

''I'm sorry for everything, because when you left, it was only then when I realized that-- while I was busy chasing the stars, I was losing you.''

You both decided to try again, but this time, without pride and greed. Replacing it with love and understanding, especially now with Taeho and Taehee officially joining your little family.

#jung jaehyun #nct #jaehyun smut #nct smut #jaehyun hard hours #nct hard hours #nct imagines #jaehyun scenarios #nct 127 smut #prodbymaui

[iamsuckateverythingtobehonest]

Between The Wall

Pairing: Sagau!Aether x Reader

Summary: Aether finds solace in the voice, he once hated and now loves.

!Warning!: First Time Writing, might be bad!

Part 1/3

Aether's first memory after he woke up from his long slumber is hearing a voice talking. It was distant but felt close to his ear but he saw no one near the vicinity.

He pushed himself up from the ground, patting his hair to clean off the remaining sand that stuck on his clothes.

'Where is this? How long I have been sleeping?'

Aether's eyes enlarged when he looked up to look around.

The world... He looking at is incomplete like it was just building itself. The sky had sun but it was dark, the birds that were flying in the sky moved without flapping their wings. The ocean and the sand he steps on, doesn't make a sound.

Aether started walking trailing along the shore, his frown evident. He doesn't know what to think about his situation at all, his first thought is to search for his sister who has been taken away fromm him but now he doesn't know what to do when he doesn't understand what kind of world he is in the first place.

Once again the voice he heard came up again, they sound frustrated but unfortunately, Aether couldn't understand the language they spoke, he couldn't decipher any of it even from the language he learned from another world he visited.

None of it fit.

Abruptly, Aether is frozen in place, his step is halted like some force holding him in place. He struggles through it, but his body doesn't respond to him, only his eyes can move to feel which wide as far as he can be.

Aether felt fears through his veins and fate, 'Lumine...' Aether's last thought before a bright light consumed him.

Aether opened his eyes with a jolt, breathing heavily, he turned his head when he felt movement only to meet with his beloved sister's eyes.

"L-Lumine..." Aether uttered, he quickly embraced her which surprised the other.

"Aether? What's wrong?" She said, worriedly.

"I have a long dream that you and me-"

Aether doesn't manage to say the rest of his words when everything happens so fast. He froze in place when fighting midair to escape before his sister was taken again.

Again they were separated.

Accompany with a voice that screams with him before his world becomes dark and consumes the bright light again.

"Lumine!"

Aether woke up again on the same beach but it was complete. The sun that bright, the bird flapping its wings, the sound of the ocean, and the sand he stepped on.

It's different, the voice too no longer there, and for a few months he is there.

He then meets paimon whom he saves from drowning, and not long after that excited voice enters his eardrums, this time the voice is clear like the flow of river.

Aether's eyes widened involuntarily which Paimon comments on, confused.

"No, it's nothing," he shook his head but then he heard a squeal, he still didn't understand the language but his cheeks went a bit red when he heard his name between the squealing.

But the moment is gone when Aether's body starts to move by itself around the beach, slashing at the bushes, running after golden crabs and Lizard, and jumping every step take took.

He almost died by drowning when the body suddenly moved to swim in the ocean and by the end of it, there was is treasure chest behind the rock.

The whole time Aether's face is full of terror, he even loses the capability to speak, he can't even ask for help from Paimon.

Suddenly he regained his body control and there was a light glow around his body. His body felt a little bit stronger and his stamina increase after the effect was gone.

He hears a gasp from Paimon, "An artifact blessing!"

"Artifact blessing?" Aether asked quietly, hugging himself, still feeling spooked by what just happened.

Paimon's nodded, "Uh-huh! You are so lucky even as an Outlander! You don't even have a vision but you got a blessing from the creator itself!"

"Creator? Do you mean Archon?"

"No! Archon is different from than Creator, The Creator is the one who created the world we live in right now, one of the people that even Celestia respect and believe in!" Paimon said, waving her hand around to prove her point.

"You will see!"

Paimon brought Aerher to the status of seven, the Anemo God. "Look up, if you see the clock the Anemo Archon wore, it belongs to the creator!" Paimon started.

"Each Statue has at least one or two things they hold of Creator belonging on their statues which to show they were favor by them!"

Aether looks at the statues, his face looks firm, and has a lot of thoughts in his head.

"What if...you can hear the so-called Creator's voice? They even can control your body anytime they please...what would the person be then...?"

Paimom blinked with a frown evident on her face, "That...would be...dangerous,"

"Huh?"

"I-I mean! Everyone herein Teyvat even the Archon loves the Creator if they know someone who can hear their beloved Creator and even can be controlled by them..." Paimon trailed off as she crossed her arms in troubled faces, "The person certainly would be a target."

"...I see," Aether nodded, "you still don't answer my question, Paimon."

"Well, that just means, the person is the Creator's vessel, and The Creator is fond of them to even let them hear their voices." Paimon said, "Also having a Creator by your side certainly will bring a lot of fortune, power, and a bright future to your side right?"

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #aether #aether x reader #genshin traveler #genshin sagau #sagau x reader #self aware genshin #sagau aether #sagau

[writerslittlelibrary]

You are a witch

masterlist

summary: you were adopted by Natasha Romanoff, the great Black Widow. But what happens when the truth uncovers? What happens when the three kings of hell are sent to kill you, and you manage to uncover your power and banish them?

pairing: Natasha x daughter reader, Yelena x niece reader, Melina & Alexei x granddaughter reader

warnings: witchcraft, rats?

genre: angst, fluff

words: 2483

a/n: I'm watching an awful lot of the chilling adventures of Sabrina lately, so I wanted to write a little mcu crossover with a witch reader :) 

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

It all happened so fast. At one point you were home, doing your homework like you did every friday evening. Then, at the other moment, the door was broken down, and the demons entered your home.

You did not know how to fight them off. You did not know they were even demons. They looked like humans, and you had no reason to suspect otherwise.

Of course, you knew better now.

The demons had disguised themselves to look like mortals. They were sent to assassinate you. You didn’t know they were demons, but once they drew their swords, you were pretty quick to run towards the widow and climb down using the fire escape.

The attackers followed you, and once you entered the Avengers tower, Wanda managed to banish them. She killed them. 

You remember Natasha running to you, assisting you. You were out of breath and terrified. Natasha slept in your room that night. You were scared to be left alone, and Natasha was terrified that someone would come and hurt you. Little did you know someone did. 

That same night, another demon entered your room.

However, this time, the demon did not disguise itself. I had come to kill you in its demon form. It did not hide itself. Your mother tried to protect you, but what good were her knives and her gun against an all mighty demon? 

Once the demon got ahold of your mother, you lost your temper. 

You did not know where it came from. You did not know how it worked. You did not know how you knew how to operate it. But you did.

Your eyes turned red. The wind from outside seemed to pick up inside your bedroom. The demon seemed afraid, even if his body language did not show it, his eyes did. It became afraid. You were afraid, but somehow, you managed to call upon a power hidden deep within your body. You managed to banish the demon for good. 

After you had killed it, you rushed to your mother who was bleeding out on the ground. The demon had slashed her side open, and she was running out of time. 

You did not understand it, but you had a vision. A flash in your mind that showed you exactly what to do. You covered your mothers’ wounds with your hands, and you closed your eyes. You called upon the power in your body, and Natasha’s wounds sealed shut. 

After that, Natasha had decided to take you out of town for a few days. 

It was clear that you were not safe in New York, and Natasha did not want to put you in any unnecessary danger. She did not know how the demons knew where you were, but she figured you would be much safer with her family, in Russia. 

And so, you flew to Russia, but not before Stephen Strange brought you a little visit. After hearing of your situation, and of your power awakening, he had gifted you a book. This book contained a series of spells, made by witches who were not similar to Stephen Strange, nor Wanda Maximoff. These witches possessed a different kind of magic. The kind of magic that you were now possessing. 

You had started practising a few spells, before you left for Russia. 

You were now driving towards your grandmothers’ farm, even though you had never met them.

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Are we nearly there? We have been driving for hours and my head hurts,” you sighed annoyed, staring out the window.

“Like I told you the other fifty times, we still have a few hours to go. If your head hurts, take a nap,” Natasha answered, done with your attitude the entire trip. She did not want to get mad at you. As a mother, she knew and understood that you had a difficult time these past few days, and that you were unlocking something within yourself that you did not know you had, but as a person, she was entirely done with your attitude. 

You let out another sigh in annoyance. “I don’t want to take a nap, mom. Why are we even going to these people? I’ve never met them. Who even are they?” 

“You know Aunt Yelena, and she will be there. And Melina and Alexei are my sort of parents, so I expect you to treat them with respect,” Natasha told you.

“What kind of animals do they have on the farm?” you asked. 

“What…?

“You said they lived on a farm. A farm usually has animals. What kind of animals do they have?”

Natasha sighed. “Well, Melina has pigs, but I believe that recently she started feeding some stray cats, and they have started to hang around the farm.” 

“Did you have animals when you were a child? I mean, in those three years you lived with them?” you asked Natasha, staring at her curiously.

“I did not, but there was a stray cat that I begged to take in. Melina and Alexei would not let me, although they did give me some cat food from time to time to feed it,” Natasha explained, steering the car onto an off road path. 

“Really? They don’t have road where they live? What? Is the farmhouse some fallen apart building as well?” you asked, sarcasm lacing your tone.

Natasha sighed, a small smirk appearing on your lips, yet she tried to hide it.

“Go to sleep, or I’ll knock you out myself.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

After you had fallen asleep in the car, the car ride took about another hour or two. Once you arrived, Natasha carefully woke you up, helping you out of the car.

Yelena was stood by the door, waiting for you to wake up fully so she could go and give you a hug.

“Aunt Yelena!” you exclaimed in happiness, running towards her and giving her a big hug. “I missed you! It has been far too long since you came to New York.” 

Yelena smiled and brushed some hair out of your face. 

“I was enjoying spending some time with my other half of my family,” Yelena started, leaning in a little closer so she could whisper in your ear. “Don’t worry, you are still my favourite.”

You smiled, giving Yelena a kiss on her cheek. 

“We should go inside,” Natasha then said, handing Yelena a bag to carry inside. 

“Sure,” Yelena said, whistling for Fanny, who had slipped past her to get out of the house when Yelena opened the door to wait for you, to come inside as well. 

Fanny ran towards you, excitedly jumping on you and begging for cuddles. You, obviously, happily obliged, spoiling Fanny in hugs and pets and kisses while she excitedly jumped on you, licking your face and cuddling close to you. 

Once you were inside, Yelena told Natasha that Melina and Alexei were waiting in the living room. 

Natasha had gone to greet them and to explain the situation with you, while Yelena stayed with you. Yelena led you to the spare bedroom, where she settled the bags down. 

“We only have one guest room, so you and Natasha will have to share. I am sure you do not mind,” Yelena explained, and you smiled and nodded as answer. 

“Did mom… tell you? Why we came here? Why she is so afraid?” you asked Yelena, sitting on the bed and settling your shoulder bag next to you. Yelena sighed before joining you on the bed, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before she spoke. 

“Natasha did not tell me a lot, but she told me that you were now… magical. She told me that something was- is hunting you,” Yelena explained, shaking her head. “She didn’t tell me much more.”

You sighed, looking down and picking at your skirt. 

“I am magical. I think I am a witch, but like, a really powerful one. Two demons came to attack me. They were aggressive, and they spoke about doing something for their master. They were sent to kill me, to assassinate me. My magic, or my powers, unlocked when the second one tried to hurt mom. And after, after he had hurt her and she was bleeding, I suddenly knew how to heal her, and my powers did. Someone powerful is trying to get rid of me, and I don’t even understand what I am,” you explained, looking at Yelena carefully, hoping you didn’t scare of confuse her. 

“Okay, so what you are saying is that my little niece is an ass kicking awesome witch?” Yelena said, smiling when she saw the relieved smile form on your face. 

After a moment of silence, Yelena moved to sit a little closer to you, indicating that whatever she was going to say next was probably serious.

“Listen to me, y/n. You are Natasha’s daughter. You are my niece. You are family, and no matter what you turn out to be, you will always be our family, and we will always be yours,” Yelena promised, cupping your face in her hands to get you to look at her. She smiled kindly, leaning forwards and pressing a kiss on you forehead. 

“Thank you, Auntie Yelena.”

------------------------------------------------------------- 

After your talk with Yelena, you had showed her your new book. The book that Strange gave you. It was full of spells and knowledge, and after reading some of it, you had started writing your own notes in your notebook. 

You also showed Yelena a little taste of your magic. You had managed to effortlessly change an eraser into Yelena’s favourite cookie, which disappeared the moment you took your eyes off of it. Not because the spell failed. Simply because Yelena had eaten it…

After about an hour, Natasha had come up to the room, knocking on the door and letting you know that it was time to meet your grandparents. 

You weren’t sure how you were supposed to be feeling. You were nervous, sure, but everyone is when they meet someone knew. You were most nervous about their importance. You knew how important Melina and Alexei were to Natasha and Yelena, and you did not want to say or do anything that might upset any of them.

Natasha took your hand, rubbing reassuring circles on it to hopefully soothe you.

“Everything’s gonna be okay. They are going to love you, and you will love them, I promise,” Natasha assured you, leading you downstairs. 

Once you entered the living room, Melina and Alexei were sitting on the couch. Melina stood up immediately when she noticed you entered. 

“Y/n, dear, we are so happy to finally meet you,” Melina said, walking over to you and embracing you in a hug. When she pulled back, she placed her hand on your cheek, taking a good look at your face. “What a beautiful girl you are,” she said, and you smiled.

“Thank you, Melina,” you said, and Melina smiled stepping aside and motioning her hand towards one of the other couches.

“Please, sit down. Would you like some tea, or another drink?” Melina asked, going into the kitchen to get your chosen drink while you sat down. 

Natasha sat down next to you, while Yelena chose the couch across from you. 

“It is very nice to meet you, my granddaughter. Welcome to the family!” Alexei exclaimed happily, laughing at the stern look Natasha gave him. 

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After you had settled in, and you had gotten used to being around Melina and Alexei, you had all decided on some pizza for dinner. Slowly but surely you grew to like being around Melina and Alexei, even though Alexei was painfully loud and unaware at times. 

After you had settled at the dinner table, you sat beside Natasha, Alexei at the head of the table while Melina sat across from Natasha, and Yelena sat across from you. 

“So are you liking Russia, y/n? I believe Natasha told us you have never been here before?” Melina asked, and you nodded. 

“It’s very beautiful, definitely more beautiful than the busy city,” you responded, and Melina smiled. 

You reached forward, about to grab another slice of pizza from the pizza box when a strange wind picked up inside the house, and the squeaking of mice could be heard. 

You froze in your actions, looking around the house cautiously. 

“What’s wrong darling?” Natasha asked concerned, laying her hand on your arm. 

“Don’t you hear that? Don’t you feel that?” you asked, looking at Natasha with wide eyes while she shook her head no. 

“Do you need some water?” she asked, but you didn’t respond as you looked down at your feet, standing up quickly when you recognised the rats running around your legs. 

You gasped in surprise, taking a few steps back while Natasha and Yelena looked at you with concern. 

“Are you okay? What are you feeling?” Natasha asked, and you looked at her confused.

“Can’t you see the rats?!” you asked surprised, pointing at the rats that ran around your legs. Natasha shook her head no, but once the door to the living room slammed open, Natasha head turned towards it. What came through was something she could see.

“What the hell is that?!” Yelena said in surprise, standing up herself. 

Through the door walked a disgusting looking demon. His skin looked rotten and old, almost as if his body had been dead and rotting for weeks. 

“I AM BEELZEBUB, DEMON OF VERMIN, ONE OF THE THREE KINGS OF HELL. MY BROTHERS HAVE FAILED TO SUCCEED, BUT I WILL FINISH THE JOB!” the demon, Beelzebub spoke loudly, raising his arm out towards you. The rats charged at you, and you quickly ran to the couch to grab your bag.

You pulled you spellbook out, going through the pages quickly to find the banishing spell that you had researched before. 

“Y/n what the hell is going on?!” Yelena yelled at you, but you ignored her as you found the right page, raising your own hand towards the demon Beelzebub. 

“Beelzebub, I shall banish you as I did your brothers. You shall burn in the pits and fires of hell! Exilium, gehenna, evanescet. Beelzebub I banish thee!” you yelled out, lowering your hand when the demon Beelzebub disappeared into dust. 

“That was awesome,” Yelena spoke quickly, after assessing that you were not injured. 

“I need a nap,” you said, dropping the book and letting yourself fall down onto the couch. Natasha ran to your side quickly, holding your head in her hands.

“Are you alright?” she asked, a confused look overtaking her when she noticed your smile.

“I just banished, not just a demon, but one of the three kings of hell, with my own magic,” you explained proudly, letting your eyes fall close. “But it was exhausting, and I really need a nap now.” 

Natasha smiled softly, nodding. 

“Go to sleep, we’ll talk in the morning.”

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#black widow #marvel #natasha x reader #mcu #marvel reader insert #natasha x daughter #natasha x reader platonic #natasha romanoff #avengers #yelena belova x reader #yelena x reader #yelena #yelena belova #natasha romanoff x teen reader #natasha romanoff x reader platonic #natasha romanoff x daughter #natasha romanov #melina vostokoff #alexei shostakov #chilling adventures of sabrina #witch reader

[cosmicsuperstars]

royal flush,

a gambler at heart, AVENTURINE isn't the kind of person who can resist a game of chance.

it doesn't matter if he's dealt a bad hand — he'll make the most of it. besides, it's less the endgame of the win that seduces him but the allure of the game itself and, it seems, his new favourite is...

...trying to win your heart.

he'll end up victorious, he's sure. he's betting on you being his and, well — when has he ever lost a bet?

he isn't the kind of person who will shy away from playing dirty. if he wants something, he's going to get it. and he wants you. your attention all on him, your smile directed only in his direction; you name it, and he wants it.

he can't help being greedy sometimes, but any of those softer feelings are swallowed by the temptation of your hand in his.

how ridiculous. the silver-tongued snake of the IPC, felled by someone who should not even be a blip on his radar — and yet, here he is. and here you are.

to AVENTURINE, making you fall — wholly, irrevocably, absolutely, completely — in love with him is the goal.

and he's going to achieve it, by any means necessary.

💬 DIRECTOR'S CUT: my first ever post and it's. aventurine... i swear i will make up for this. i will write 5 trillion robin fics (slash joke)(probably). anyways. enjoy!

#🎥…now playing! #aventurine x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader