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itsohh · 1 year

Text

Just a Joke

A/N: Female reader, considering I got asked this a week ago I’ll say I did have a week week aye. (❁´◡`❁) also, favorite reallllyyyyy??? Your too kind. (Deadass had to check out my masterlist about that fic and I was like ‘oh yeah I did write that XD)

Word count: 1994

Warnings: NSFT, smut, light bondage

AO3

It had been a joke. Really. Swear on your life it had. Elias leaned on the lab desk next to you while you ran his tests. The conversation the pair of you had was of course widely off-topic, with a light humorous tone. You weren’t the only one in the room though, a range of different staff occupied the room, Gustave and Olivier were the nearest. “And since you're someone of such experience, how would the best way to touch a woman be? Best way to orgasm?” A grin was on his face, perfect teeth showing off.

“Ah, I wouldn’t know. I’ll tell you when someone makes me.” The pair of you immediately laughed in unison, not particularly loud but loud enough for those particularly near to hear you. Those people being Gustave and Olivier. While Gustave cared little for the joke and continued to focus on his work, Olivier didn’t do the same. His head raised slightly and his head turned towards your direction, his grip clenched just a little harder. Yet as he saw the way you laughed with Elias, it softened and he focused back on his work. This moment wasn’t forgotten though, simply locked away in the back of his mind.

In the comfort of Olivier's room you entered, the owner behind you. The conversation you had with Elias, your somewhat lewd jokes, immature jokes, long since forgotten. By you at least. “You have anything interesting happen today?” You asked over your shoulder. “Elias is still a freak of nature.” You then mumbled under your breath. Olivier didn’t respond. When you went to turn around to face him though, that's when he acted.

Voice cut off as he snatched your wrist, turning you around. With decent force, he shoved your forward onto his bed. With his hand, he grabbed your free wrist and pulled them up against your back. His body tense and agitated, finally Olivier could let out how he felt at that moment. For such a dumb joke to affect him so, it pissed him off but he was determined to make an impact on you. So it wouldn’t happen again.

Olivier's lips brushed against your ear. “When someone makes you cum huh?” His voice was a hiss and you realised why he was so worked it. The joke hadn’t dawned on you at all.

“Olivier, hey I promise I didn’t mean anything it was a joke. I promise.” Your face turned to the side, check pressed against his soft bed.

“Right.” Despite his seeming acceptance of your explanation, you felt him hold your wrist with one hand. He retreated just as quickly as he had been there. No longer was his lips centimetres from your ear and you couldn’t help but feel a little tense from his lack of presence. Only the almost painful grip on your wrist let you know he was still there. The familiar sound of his belt jingled as it was ripped from his pants. Around your wrists, it went. Olivier locked it in place before he leaned over you, lips against your ear again. “Call it what you want, but I’m going to give you something to tell Elias about next time you want to.. joke about.”

His name died on your tongue as he pressed his entire body against yours. Bent over his bed, your feet still on the floor, he radiated warmth against your and a sharp bite against your shoulder had you cry out. With you well secured, practically pinned with his body, his hands ran up and down the side of your thighs. “Do I not please you?” His voice was but a whisper in your ear. “Have I been neglecting you?” A hard slap on your thigh had you cry out, only slightly mitigated by the thick fabric of your pants. The cry turned into a whine of his name, dragging out the last few syllables.

His breath panted against your ear ever so slightly as his whispers turned into a growl. “Or did you just want to taunt me?” His hands slithered between you and the bed, undoing the binding of your pants with ease. Blood rushed in your head, echos of your thrumming heartbeat as he dragged down the zip of your pants. Olivier's nails brushed against the skin of your thighs as he got a good grip on your waistband. With one solid tug, he bared your partially covered ass only for his hips to press firmly against it once more.

Your arms trapped between the pair of you could do little as his fingers played with the fabric of your underwear, only managing to lightly grasp at the fabric of his shirt. Slowly his hand slipped down into your underwear. His hand so impossibly warm covered your cunt while his index finger slipped between your folds. “Merde.” He hisses against your ear. “Soaked.” His hips pressed harder against you so that you could feel the outline of his cock against you. “You just wanted to stir the pot, didn’t you? Never had an orgasm.” He scoffed under his breath. “Then why is your body begging for me?” Two more fingers joined his index, together they all curled inside of you which sent shivers of pleasure throughout your body. A gasp choked in your throat when his other hand found a firm hold on your neck. “Tell me you don’t like this.” His fingers continued to move, curling back and forward as his thumb rubbed your clit. The grip on your throat did nothing to stop the whine that escaped your lips, consumed in wanton.

The firm outline of his hard cock pressed into you, small thrusts of friction as he fingered you. “Does this feel good?” You squirmed a little in your bindings. The grip on your throat tightened and your breath hitched against it. “Answer me.”

“Y-yes.” You moaned out and his grip didn’t loosen, oh no. Olivier pulled you against his chest harder and his hips rolled harder against you.

“And do you want me to continue? Want me to fuck you, hmm?” His voice, the curse on his lips ever so deeper, filled with the obvious lust that had overtaken him.

“Olivier…”

“Well? Don’t make me wait.”

“I do, I do.” At your admission he didn’t relent though, a bitter laugh in your ear had your blood run cold.

“And what makes you think you deserve it? My little rabbit has been out here spouting lies.”

“Olivier I’m sorry it was-”

“If you want me so bad then beg. Beg for me.” Shame had no place in your bedroom, had no place between the pair of you. At his command you obeyed.

“Please.” That wasn’t enough for him.

“Mmm?”

“Please Olivier fuck me, please, please-” He took pity on you as you chanted out, a sharp bite once again on your shoulder had your begs cut off as you let out a cry. Your face fell against the bed once more as he let go of your throat, his fingers also left from inside of you. Your voice was muffled into the bed before you slowly turned your head to the side again. Olivier had pulled away from your body. His shirt was thrown to the side in your peripheral vision. Without his belt on, his pants were pulled down rather quickly, and his briefs too.

In his hand he held his heavy cock, eyes taking in your wrecked body. You were quite simply a mess. Underwear partially out of place, your shirt crinkled while your pants pooled at your ankles. His free hand came to his lips as he took in your form. Olviiers tongue poked out, a light lick on his knuckles, your taste causing him to grin. He hummed lightly as he let his cock sit on your ass, his hand free to feel and kneed at it. The action had you moan out, desperate for more.

A light slap had you jolt against the bed and you soon felt the familiar hardness of his cock press into you, underwear pushed to the side. Soaking wet, he slid in with ease. Olivier mumbled something under his breath that you couldn’t quite understand. His hips retreated from their flush state against you. Almost completely out he slammed back into you. Voice low he groaned out before he leaned over you once again. “Tell me how it feels.”

“S-So good Olivier.” Your voice choked out as his cock so deliciously danced over that sweet spot inside of you, his dick at the perfect angle to hit it with every thrust.

“That's. What. I. Thought.” Each word punched out as he slammed into you. “Little rabbit no one else will make you feel like this.” His grip on you was bruising. “Your mine and only I can fuck you the way you need to be fucked.” Olivier drew whimpers from your mouth as he fucked you, his hands now on the bed, sheets balled up in his fists. Pleasure had your head spinning as he fucked you hard. There were no attempts to be delicate no gentle. It was straight-up debauched fucking as he put everything he had into it. Wet sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you mixed with your moans. A high-pitched cry left your lips as your body shuddered around you, your orgasm washed over you, a tsunami of pleasure that had you mindlessly gasping out as your body turned to jelly.

Olivier continued to abuse your cunt through your orgasm, not caring as your body started to overstimulate as you came down from your high. Wriggling against him did nothing as you complained. “Too much.” You gasped and he chuckled cruelly in your ear.

“Good.” This was your punishment. “I’ll be nice, if you come again, this time with me. I’ll call it water under the bridge.” A heavy pause swallowed the air, but he didn’t stop. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes!” Your eyes had screwed shut while you continued to shake against him.

“Good girl, don’t worry. We aren't far away now.” Despite your overstimulated state, it soon started to fade as your core began to tighten again. A few moments later was all it took as you thrashed slightly in your bindings. Crying out while Olivier buried himself deep inside of you. A long singular groan came from his lips as his hot seed filled you up. The pair of you stayed like that too wrapped up in yourselves to move.

A moment later his lips gently pressed against your neck while his hands found the belt around your wrists. With a gentleness that you hadn’t seen for that night, he undid them and rubbed where they had made contact on your skin. With a pop, he pulled himself from you, his cum free to run down your legs. Olivier hummed kindly as he removed your pants from your legs and helped you get onto the bed properly. Quick to get a towel, he cleaned the pair of you up before he found a pair of his pyjama shorts to throw on.

Playing with your fingers as he eventually joined you in the bed you looked away from him. “I really didn’t mean anything by it Olivier I’m so-” A finger came to your lips as he hushed you, a smile on his face.

“Don't worry I don’t really care. I know it was just a joke. I don't mind.” Post-nut clarity had certainly hit the man like a truck. It was a dumb thing to get worked up over and he knew it now. Olivier leaned over with a teasing smile, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he placed a kiss on your forehead. “Besides, we both know I can have you moaning like a whore in seconds.”

#rainbow six siege #r6s #r6s x reader #lion x reader #olivier flament #it was just a joke bro just a joke fr

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callmemrskenway · 2 years

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OMGOMGOMGGGG

I saw that thing with MK and reader crushing on eachother, but like- Reader was macaques student and now im wondering..

what about them liking eachother when Macaque turned GOOD??? They would have the entire TEAM teasing them now! imagine if Mei had caught them confessing to eachother and then kissing for the first time and recorded it all, and showed it to everyyyooonee meanwhile MK and Y/N where chasing after her like ”NONONONO DONT!-“ XD

(Also, Gender neutral headcanons please :3 )

I don't usually write follow up headcanons but here are some things to follow up (sorry if it's not too long):

- Okay so yeah, when people see the both of you kiss, they're clapping and others are like: "FINALLY! FUCKING F I N A L L Y." but they're all so happy for you guys.

- Mei definetly takes a picture of the moment and everyone is laughing about how she needs to preserve this moment because everyone's been waiting for it for so long and you and MK are panicking and chasing her as she's running around giggling like a maniac.

- You and MK are such an unstoppable dou, you guys are in perfect sync and you guys are absolutely on the same level as each other.

- It does make Macaque and Wukong feel awkward at times, after all, this means that they're gonna have to put the past behind them for your happiness and its gonna be hard, especially with how they still argue with one another, but they try for the both of you.

- No but they start training you and MK together and they start trying to "improve" each other's training by criticizing and yelling so you and MK sneak off to do couple things.

- MK is still protective of you, as is Macaque after the whole LBD thing. So like they're kinda hovering around you and making sure you don't push yourself too much and observing you and making sure you're not overdoing anything.

- You find their concern for you cute but sometimes they argue about what's best for you and you have to remind them that you may be Macaque's student and you may be MK's lover but that you're still a fighter and a VERY capable one.

- Random but I can see Pigsy trying to throw a Lady and the Tramp esque scene for you two where you share a bunch of noodles and you and MK are about to do a noodle kiss, Macaque comes in and casually cuts the noodle in half with his staff and is all: "Hey! What are you crazy kids doing? Oooh, noodles! Looks yummy!"

- Wukong teases him for being a helicopter parent even though he 100% does the same thing.

- BUT YEAH, NO, THE TEAM CONSTANTLY TEASING HIM ABOUT YOU THOUGH. Don't worry, once they're comfortable enough with you, they'll tease you too but they're gonna have to get used to the fact that you're starting to be a good guy.

- You adjust a lot better to this lifestyle than your mentor, though, like, that's for sure. He's still hesitant to trust some of them or he messes with them and you're the only one who can make him stop...kinda.

- Macaque sees how significantly happy you are as a hero and how being with MK has affected you and...he likes it. It suits you. He knew you had a kind heart despite his teachings and he's proud of the person his student is becoming.

- And he's kinda glad it gives him a second chance to reconcile with his brother but he'd rather DIE than admit that-

#lmk macaque x reader #macaque x reader lmk #lmk mk x reader #mk x reader

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oogaboogaspookyman · 2 years

Text

Alex (Adam's brother): You tall akot about liking dick on tumblr

Adam: i mean. They're mainly shitposts but I do also like dudes

Adam: I'm bisetnsual

Adam: Bidecual

Alex: Take your time

Adam: Busrxual

Adam: Holes

HOO BOY

✨Random Quotes From The Fam✨

Mary: This text conversation is related to a DoorDash order.

Hey they all out of lesayna

lasanya

Laysanya

The shit Garfield eat

*pic attached to the dm*

Adam: this is halaraois

Halous

Houlus

Big laugh

Mewtwo: bro i have depresi

Depresia

Depressuon

Sepresson

Deprresiom

The Big Sad

Teen Aliza, still learning things: I'm a lesbiab

Lesbiam

Less Bien

Girls

Mew: Can i ask what's it like being transgender?

I'm legit couiours and I mean no harm in asking questions

Couiours

Courious

The thing gorge the monkey was

Teen Aliza: During teaching today I was petting my cat and my co-teacher announced it and asked to see the cat. Then no fewer than 60% of the students reached down and pulled THEIR cats up into view of the cameras and suddenly my Zoom squares were all cats and everything was perfect.

Celeste, thinking that a joke will defeat MEMORY: hey MEMORY, do you know Candice-?

MEMORY: I CARE NOT FOR YOUR GEN Z SLANG, FOR THE TREE BRANCH IS WHERE YOUR MOTHER HANGS!

*CUE THE VINE BOOM, CELESTE'S MOM CANONICALLY HUNG HERSELF*

*...*

*Too Slow D-sides instrumental*

MEMORY: HA-

(@pikafaawork thank you for that comic XD)

Adam: so tell me bro, tits or ass?

Mewtwo: arms! I need a hug!

*they hug, wholesome moment*

*…*

*wait-*

Adam: so you're grabbing my ass now.

Mewtwo: yeah-

Adam: does it make you feel better?

Mewtwo: yeah.

Adam, patting mewtwo on the back: glad it does, bro, glad it does...

Mary: KSJDHDSDJK

Mewtwo: what was that?

Mary: it's a keysmash.

Mewtwo: ... How do i do that?

Mary: just press anything lol.

Mewtwo: ...

Mewtwo: 7

[Celeste asked mewtwo to go to an abandoned building to have a little happy time in peace and quiet, mewtwo's response is obvious~]

MEMORY: BOI IT'S ME BOI, IT'S THE PS5 SPEAKING TO YOU INSIDE YOUR BRAIN.

MEMORY LISTEN TO ME, BOI, LEAVE THE GIRL, WE DON'T NEED HER.

MEMORY: WE'LL HAVE COWBOY TIMES, SPACE, FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSIO-

(wheeze-)

CL4RA: welcome to Mcdonald's, do you want a fucking- beeschurger?

Crypt: please... I just want to see my friends...

CL4RA: chinken nunget.

MEMORY: 🎶 heeeeeeyyyyy, it's meeeeeeeeeeee!🎶

Adam: *wheezing*

Mewtwo: STOP!

(source: Snapcube Dub of a Sonic game, Youtube)

[when you and your new friend refuse to sleep]

Adam: yo

Mew: -~-?

Adam: snrk- peepee la poop- wheeze-

Mew: *dial-up sound*

Mew: * O M E G A L U L *

Mewtwo: HEY SHUT UP, YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP MOM-

Mew: HAHAHA- *PILLOW HEADSHOT*

Celeste: *bout to GET SOMEONE*

Mewtwo: *sleepin'*

Adam: o^o *sleep..?*

Celeste: *she here now, you're dead*

Adam: WAIT I'M ASLEEP-

*gottem*

Mewtwo, after quote number 11: we're getting a new member today!

Adam: is it legal?

Mary: adopted?

Mew: new or used?

Mewtwo: wonderful responses, all of you.

Celeste: -^-💢

Adam: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Mewtwo: a spoon? Please, i'm a knife.

Mew: he's the big spoon.

(here we go!)

Mary: can we get the next guest please?

Mary: uhhh hello sir, welcome to Starbucks, what can i get for you?

MEMORY: UH YEAH CAN I HAVE A- FUCKIN-

Adam: pff-

MEMORY: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMM

MEMORY: BÖRGER?

*the entire staff just lose their shit*

Mary: sir we don't sell burgers here.

MEMORY: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T SELLKRKFJH-

Mewtwo: wheeze-

Mary: we don't sell burgers here, we have pan1nis and other-

Mewtwo: OH MY CARDIAC ARREST-

*wut*

MEMORY: DO YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT A PANINI IS.

Mewtwo: W H E E Z E

*unintelligible*

MEMORY: JUST GIMME THE BURGER, EXTRA CHEESE.

Mary: no- sir we don't sell burgers, extra cheese, we only have paninis-

MEMORY: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED THIS-

Mary: no- sir i'm gonna have to ask you to leave and i know you don't want me to.

MEMORY: WHY ARE YOU SUPPRESSING FOOD FROM THE PUBLICCCCCCCC

*unhinged laughter*

Crypt: what the hell did i walk into?

#pokemon #mewtwo #memory #adam #aliza #celeste #mary #mew #crypt #CL4RA #teen aliza #incorrect quotes

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laufire · 2 months

Text

repeating last month's reading meme, with the stories I completed this month (many of them started waaaaaaay before though. thus is the nature of comics).

list and some thoughts under the cut.

NOVELS

Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett. As with every other Discword novel, I practically devoured this one. Very enjoyable, especially Granny's plot, which did hit close to home for me lol.

Dare Me by Megan Abbott. This is proof that, despite having aged out of the YA bracket, some of it, the really good one, still holds up. Still, I know that if I had read this as a teenager, I would've made it my whole personality for at least a while xDD. Nonetheless, it was a great read. It's a pity that the show was cancelled before it covered the entire story, because I would've loved to watched an adaptation :/

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. Of the Austen novels I've read so far, I would probably put it in the last place, but I did end up enjoying it. I had a good laugh with the Ferrars family drama, and I enjoy how... anti-karma Austen can be. Sometimes shitty, selfish people behalf shittily and selfishly, and that works out perfectly for them, lbr.

COMICS COMICS COMICS

Arsenal. And absolutely great mini (four issues long) in Devin Grayson's melodrama era. Vandal Savage collecting body parts of his descendants to replace his rotten ones is A Concept. And I loved the cameos by Dinah, Oracle, Connor... perfect.

Robin (vol. 1). Tim goes to Paris to train a bit more after Bruce decides he's ready to be Robin. There he ends up in between mob complots and gets trained by Shiva for a little while. My main takeaway is that Tim should have a musical staff in more stories.

The Cull. I kept waiting for this miniseries to go somewhere and... eh. The ending is a bit open so it might continue, but unless I hear something really solid I wouldn't pick it back up.

Batman: City of Madness. The concept of this story ended up being far grander than its execution, and I think I would've liked a longer, more involved, riskier storyline... The art is still amazing, though. It's given me some proto-ideas, though.

Dark Spaces: The Hollywood Special. I could literally copy-paste the last paragraph here lol.

Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood. Amazing. Perfect. 10/10. One comic I'm going to recommend.

Robin II: The Joker's Wild!. This should've gone harder with the Jason-haunting-the-narrative concept, IMO, but I am NOT an unbiased party lol.

All of Jason Todd's New 52 (2011-2016) appearances. There is... so much I could say about this. Not much would be good, because yes, I still rage against the reboot xD. RHATO vol. 1 ends up looking even good after Red Hood/Arsenal (which improved a bit at the very end, admittedly); Lobdell is the worst, either way. Batman Incorporated/Wingman... too little effort put on it. Appalling, poorly thought-through characterisation all around, really, alongside a lot of choices I'm still baffled by (chessmaster Joker by beloathed). Batman & Robin Eternal got on my nerves, and not just for Jason. Robin War, Grayson... all of it needed a lot more development for me to be sold on it. The cameos in Deathstroke were... fine, but forgettable, when they shouldn't have been.

I did use the cover for Supergirl vol. 6 #35 because that's the ONE Jason appearance I can say I fully enjoyed! Jason is competent (aided by some "venom" which was an arc that amounted to nothing, but whatever), he is a MENACE, he seeks a team up with Supergirl but is a fucking asshole about it despite clearly wanting to be friends xDD... it felt as if I was almost reading new earth!Jason circa Green Arrow/Outsiders, which I really enjoyed! The stupid uncanny valley helmet makes an appearance but I just ignore that xDD

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress. Tim and Helena meet for the first time and team up! It was all right.

World Without Young Justice. I read the Tim-centric issue as it was one of the firsts in Lewis's run, so I decided to read the other four issues in the arc. Tim's is my favourite, though: it has Steph as the original Robin, in a story that really caught my eye and I might use at some point... honestly, I think superhero!Steph/civilian!Tim is a DELICIOUS set-up for the ship that I know I'll revisit in some fics where I don't have Tim donning a mantle (or at least, not in a traditional way).

Batman Plus Arsenal. Great one-shot (Devin Grayson does it again etc.). The moment where Roy gets on Batman's case for how sparse he is with praise was gr10.

Harley and Ivy: Love on the Lam. Another one-shot, by Winnick this time (I have my selected favourites). The dynamics are very clearly inspired by the DCAU despite being a new earth comic, but as those are my favourite versions of the characters involved, that works for me. It's about cycles and how hard it is to break them, of course

Knightfall. I started reading the arc in January. Although I'd read part of it before, this is the first time I really set out to read the complete thing. My veredict is that it focuses way to much on JPV, who I simply don't connect with LOL. The parts with Bruce, with Tim, and especially with Dick, and even with Gordon and Essen, are far more appealling to me, and I would've preferred them to be expanded upon to JPV's detriment tbh.

Bruce Wayne: Murderer?/Fugitive. Amazing story arc, and as far as I'm concerned, a must-read among Batman/Batfam fans. Bruce's reasons for finally getting his head out of his ass were also very poignant and rang very true to him, as did his shitty non-apology about his actions lol. And in the end, Sasha and Bruce-Sasha ended up being a really fascinating part of it all. I might go back and read her older appearances.

Jon Lewis's Robin Run (vol. 2 #100-120). Really fun! A very enjoyable take on Tim Drake, very cute Steph/Tim stories, really good overall! And the plot with Tim's birthday... jail, jail to Bruce for one thousand years xDD. Very sad that Tim can't be allowed to be mad at him for longer than five pages smh.

#reading meme #books #comics #dc comics #my thoughts #dc thoughts #dc #id in alt text #captioned #tag game #dare me #carpe jugulum #sense and sensibility

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castle-dominion · 3 months

Text

Castle 7x10 bad santa

the killer santa episode (as opposed to the santa killer ep or the victim santa ep) liveblog

No maybe this is going to be the romeo & juliet episode, idk. We might have already had some

I hate xmas

lol car chase. Holy crap santa is killing him

Love the transition

Beckett XD RC: This is going to be the best year ever! He's so smiley

july AC: Write six, funny, poignant, eloquent lines describing highlights of the past year. For you. KB: What word rhymes with “I’m screwed”?

RC: This coming from a woman who skipped prom to crash a poetry slam.

KB: Since when do you follow rules? RC: Since I’m the one who made them.

Where ryan? RC's jaw drops and he looks to the sky.

RC: Guys. Squeezing down countless chimneys, delivering millions of presents in one night? It’s bound to happen. Santa finally cracked. JE: Or... (you assume he will say an actual fact or theory) JE: ...our victim was naughty instead of nice.

There's ryan!

JE, walking in happy to the morgue: Hey!! LP: Hey JE: What’chu got for me, girl? didnt they break up? or did they propose? or what?

JE: Hang on. You always call me down here after the lab results are in, which leads me to believe that you may have some ulterior motives. LP: Javi, I want to ask a little favor. JE: Anything you need. :] face LP: So … my parents barely ever leave Louisiana and they’re flying out to Paris tomorrow and they have a last minute layover in New York. (his face goes from smiling & nodding to instant :( that's how fast it falls) They want us all to get together. JE: *gulp* So it’s … uh … meet the parents? LP: Are you okay with that? JE: *scoffs/laughs* Yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? That’s not even really a favor. That’s just me … stepping up. LP: Mmhmm. He’s clearly not okay with that. LP: See, I didn’t get to the favor part. Yet. JE: .. What? LP hesitates. JE: You didn’t? LP: See, um… my parents … my parents kind of think we’re engaged. He stares at her in shock. JE: ... Why Do They Think That? (not clipping but ugh) LP: Well, you and I were on again, off again. They just got so worried about their unmarried daughter – JE: So you told them we got engaged? LP: I didn’t mean too. I just … popped out. JE: Now how does something like that just pop out? LP: I wanted them to stop bugging me. I’m sorry, Javi, but once I said it there it was and now here they are. JE: So the first time I meet your parents, you’re asking me to lie to them? LP: I’ll be lying to them, too. But I’ve been doing it longer. (tru) JE: Wow. LP: Can I just bring them down to the precinct to say hello and you could just pretend for just ten minutes. (she wraps her arms around his neck and lowers her voice) I’ll make it worth your while. JE: Yeah. Yeah. I can do that.

Like Ryan's shirt, we've seen him wear it before

girl introducing herself with "nypd" heck yeah that's what youre SUPPOSED to do that lets my janitorial staff friend quickly walk away. Love him sm lol.

... or this

Wait is this the romeo & juliet episode?

Love castle & his contacts

wait this is also the ep where castle gets kicked out

RC: Field trip to a strip club. She gives him a wary look. He bolts from the room.

Calls her venus Dino: For you, Rick? I’m happy to help. And the boys are too. (Step up menacingly) Rocco Carlucci, he’s my … my chief of security. And this is Christopher Carlucci. VP of corporate affairs.

JE: So while you and Castle were busy getting lap dances, Ryan and I did some real police work.

I hate her slur. Girl put a t in there.

You never come alone. You must always say "I demand a second be there with me. It can be my cop wife, it can be my daughter (which you do not want to kill), it can be my OTHER mob friend, but I demand a second. I will not come with the entire swat team tho."

Jane lol

Dino Scarpella: I don't like that word "admit"

Recap: Eric was family. My cousin Bruno’s kid. By a girl he had on the side. Bruno, he died in the slammer, so I looked after Eric. I sent him to the best schools. I didn’t want him to work for the family, but you want to hear God laugh, you tell him – you tell him all your plans, right? DS: A few years back, one of my guys got shot. It happens. He would have croaked, but Eric stepped up. Next thing I know – next thing I know he’s got a taste for the life. I need to find out who did this to him.

RC: And by sensitive you mean illegal. Ds: I don’t like that word, either. RC: But if I figure out who did this, you have to let me bring the killer to justice. And by justice I mean legal justice. Not just taking him out. When the time comes, I need to call Beckett.

Dude never cut your palm. "Ow!" "Ow!" Big bro: & then they both died from blood borne diseases

My subconscious misogyny coming out "Wow bex is so awful saying "you believe dino bc he gave you a papercut" to castle, smh" but dom if it was someone else, would you say that? Subconscious misogyny babes.

OH THE PARENTS TIME EEHEEHEEHEE JE: (forced & high pitched) Hey! hUG OK JE: Oh, I can see where Lanie gets her beautiful eyes from. (to WALTER) And her medical brain must come from you. I hear you’re a surgeon?

clipping

RYAN! when did his badge get crossed? No father figure moments (He looks extra Black beside Lanie & her parents) I love how useful Ryan is!

Cristopher Carlucci: (laughs) I’m his right hand man. I know fifty who would slit my throat like that. (he snaps) But they’d kill me. Not one of them would frame me.

Cyber Rita my beloved!!

RC: Uh, Lurch, would you – (he startles, realizing his mistake) – Rocco, I mean, could you - ?

uwu who's wearing the hat? I love it lol

JE: Castle over here started moonlighting for the mob. RC: I think that might be overstating it a little. JE, who I think used to be gang task force: You took a blood oath. You let them turn you into an honorary mobster. What’s wrong with you? KR the best dork ever: Oh, come on, man. How many people, outside the mafia, ever get to swear omertà?(gestures) I think it is an experience of a lifetime. JE: Of course you would. KB: Didn’t you say you had a lead? Me, Canadian & into rocks: sodium ferrocyanide mixed with sodium chloride, that's ice salt. JE: *mad that castle interrupted him*

RC: Man, the places we go to follow a lead. RC: But if it points to our killer, it’s worth it indeed.

/probably/ didn't survive. Salt might change that tho

*waits for them to leave* Heyhey! hey,

Her eyes when he says kids XD you should bring kevin & jenny with u bro LP: Javi, I can’t come clean. If I come clean I will never hear the end of this. Look, you met them. You kept your promise. You can skip dinner. I’ll say something came up, like a dead body. JE: No way. I can’t be the kind of fiancé that bails on the one time your parents were in town. I have to go. We’re engaged. (So true bestie) LP: We’re not engaged. (acting, you can't pretend to be engaged, you need to ACTively BE engaged for a bit.) JE: But we could be. (Whispers) JE: Someday. And I don’t want them to hate me then because I skipped out now. SDJFKALSDFHKLSJDFHAKSDJHDSFH First of all I love the music but LOOK commitment-phobe esposito (according to Castle in the wonderful life/au ep) (or yk, anyone premember the sonjia ruiz episode?) being the one to imply he wants things! Remember Kill Shot? He was like "Would I be a good dad?" & stuff?

Tessaro Beating the drums is a good phrase SWORN ENEMIES!! I was right about {the romeo & juliet ep}!

KB: Why would Eric treat Luca Tessaro, a member of a rival family? RC: See, this is the beauty of me being mobbed up. Temporarily. I can go straight the source and ask Dino.

"The boys" & I & then ofc they find the effing bullet. Like.. Who cares? Of course they missed smth for the movie. It's more dramatic this way.

Dun dun dun bracelet with blood & slug! These detectives just... found this crap.

Gonna go ahead & take that as a yes XD Rocco: *quiet* Ooh a response! His voice is higher than expected I mean heck yeah Dino, protect your daughter. Rocco: Uh uh. Jane stopped him. She didn’t want a war between the families. Besides, she’s a woman that can take care of herself. Transcript is incorrect, it is "cica cica boom room" not chica. It says so on the neon signs.

"I hope" hhh "Dino maybe have a seat"

Not accuse so much as "Look into it" Is Dino doing this to kill castle or ask castle to kill someone else? RC: Who disrespects you? I respect you, Dino. I – I respect the hell out of you.

Jane is back! Daddy! Everyone sit down. IN LOVE!? You made it up? I mean

Jane Scarvella: What was I supposed to say? That I was in love with a Tessaro? If either family knew our secret we could never be together. DS is silent. He doesn’t even move. JS: Daddy? DS: I’m processing this news. At least he has the decency to hold back & think abt it & TELL HER that he is processing

JS: Luca called me, gasping for breath. He’d been shot. By the time I got to him he was unconscious. Dying. He needed help, so I dragged him into my car. That’s probably how I lost my bracelet. RC: So you called Eric. JS: I didn’t know what else to do. Eric told me to meet him at the surgery room. He did everything in his power to save Luca, but … he couldn’t. DS: Which explains Eric’s murder. If the Tessaros found out Eric was involved with Luca’s death they would have retaliated. (he grabs Janegently) What do they know, Jane? JS: (adamantly) Nothing. Eric got rid of the – the body and the clothes so nothing could lead them to our family. RC: Jane, did Luca tell you on the phone who shot him? Who wanted him dead? JS: No, but last week he said something was up with the Tessaros. Someone was making a power grab and he was trying to find out who. DS: I swear. If the Tessaros killed my Eric we’re going to war.

KB: Lovers from rival families. Wow. That sounds like Romeo and Juliet. RC: Right down to Eric as the apothecary.

Heir? Power grab!

WAIT LUCA? HE'S ALIVE???

rc: No. As a matter of fact, we thought you were already dead.

Why order an effing pizza?

Luca Tessaro: But when Eric got popped, I figured it was the same guy that shot me. Maybe he found out I was alive and went after Eric to get to me?

il Penumbra the partially shaded outer region of the shadow cast by an opaque object.the shadow cast by the earth or moon over an area experiencing a partial eclipse.

Ofc it's a setup

lol that santa, I thouht it was the bloody santa costume lol Rita: All right, fine. I’ll help. (RC scrambles to sit next to her) But only because I don’t want to sleep alone on Christmas.

Michael M Ouse

Rita: I think you should tell Christopher he’s sleeping over New Year’s Eve, too.

He didn't stay a little while after to idk like check his emails?

she threw the cuffs at him lol (btw I like ryan & bex together)

They just walked right into the police station lol

DS: I decided it’s better to bless her relationship and unite with the Tessaros than to lose my kid. Tis the season of peace, huh? *adjusting his jacket* RC: Thank you very much. (he clears his throat) That’s a call I hope I never have to make. They move to leave. Before they do, ROCCO grabs CASTLE and kisses him on both cheeks. CASTLE is stunned.

I thought Lanie hated her mom? & also lived close enough to visit during the dirty bomb episode(s?)

MP: Dinner was so great. We can’t wait to see you two lovebirds again. Maybe next time we can talk about the wedding. *JE's fae falls* LP: Maybe. One step at a time, Mom. JE: It was great to finally meet you both. JE: shakes WP’S hand. MP: All right, pumpkin. She and LP hug. LP: Bye, mommy. ("So did I. Didn't work. Lanie hates her mom.") MP: Love you. You be good. LP: I will. MP: All right. JE: You guys have a good trip. WP and MP leave. LP turns to JE. LP: Thank you for that. JE: Oh, it was actually much easier than I thought it was going to be. (uwu) LP laughs. JE: But … you know, it made me think seriously about us. And where we are. He grabs her left hand. LP: Javi, I don’t think we should do this here. JE: No, I have to say this. Lanie, being fake engaged (XD) to you made me realize how great we are together. But not the way that your parents are. (she exhales) Or Castle and Beckett, or Ryan and Jenny. (UWU AAH NO YES SKFJDH) LP: I know. I feel it too. I mean, I’m crazy about you – JE: Oh, I’m crazy about you, too. But just – you know, not … not in that way. And you deserve what they have. LP: We both do. She kisses his cheek and smiles. JE: What are you going to tell your parents? LP: The truth. But after the holidays. No need to spoil their vacation. (valid) JE: Mmhmm. She grabs his backside and chuckles. "Eyy!!" (still have that to them tho lol) I can't tell if they just broke up or proposed...

KR: So they cut you with a little ceremonial dagger. Did it hurt? I love Ryan & Castle :) RC: Yeah, it hurt. But you can’t let him know that, right? So my face was life a stone. *said "ow" twice*

Oh no. VG: As he was being transferred to Central Booking, Detective McBride was shot and killed by unknown assailants. The DA learned that you were cooperating with members of organized crime in your investigation. People that might have wanted McBride dead. Love her hair btw. VG: This doesn’t look good. Especially for you. I am so sorry, Mr. Castle, but the DA spoke to the mayor and – (she sighs) – you are no longer permitted to work with the NYPD. She actually says "I'm sorry" & is sad Castle is going! She warmed up to him!

That's a heck of a twist to put after the climax of the episode KB: This has been an epic year. Life’s been full of joy and tears. Solving crimes and catching killers, just like Castle’s famous thrillers. We share our passion every day. As partners go we’re here to stay. Not here to stay tho

& I mean... Castle you can go to Dino & say "we agreed you'd let us handle it the legal way" but like... yeah fair punishment. My acab side si getting the best of my "ooh funny movie" side

RC: What could be wrong? You’re here.

Ryan is so excited & I love him sm. He is defintiely a character but I see ppl like that irl, heck, I see myself in him sometimes, another point for the adhd headcanon ig. Kinda wish another one of the detectives got to yell that & turn it on tho, just to get some more speaking lines & variance.

We need more Kanie fics.

When I first watched this I was so confused bc why is this in the middle of a season? it should be at the end so that ppl can have the hiatus, yk?

Well that was fun. I sure enjoyed that. Now I should go to bed tho, actually it is not even 6pm. Still I should maybe do some homework or smth. Or post another chapter of my fanfic.

#Castle 7x10 #Castle 7x10 quote #Castle 7x10 spoilers #the romeo & juliet episode #plot heavy but only in terms of castle getting kicked out of the precinct

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stray-but-okay · 3 years

Text

Hanse and his daily struggles

#the staff laughing the entire time too XD #Victon #hanse #do hanse #victon diary

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muichiroslover · 3 years

Note

Heyo could I request a ban x reader

Where ban and y/n first started dating before elaine so when elaine got into the picture she was a little jealous of their relationship and would try and break them up. And so one day ban and y/n got into an argument, the next day y/n and all of her stuff was gone. Elaine thinking it was a perfect time to take ban tries to comfort him but all he can think about is y/n. So eventually he finds y/n and apologizes in which y/n forgives him.

HAPPY ENDINGG

(Srry If its 2 long u don't have to do it if u dont want 2) (also I do not hate elaine xD)

Hi hi!! Yes I love this idea I love me some angst with happy ending 👀 I hope this is to your liking butterscotch!! <33 enjoy (●’◡’●)ﾉ♥︎♥︎

(Sorry it’s a little late ☹︎)

Pairings: Ban x reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood and wounds (not bad)

Genre: Angst with happy ending

_______________________________________________

You and ban had been a couple for as long as you could remember, at first it was kind of hard to approach him when you guys first met but when you guys had warmed up to each other you guys were absolutely inseparable

You guys did everything together and you were so well known your couple name around towns were “The bandit couple”

As you guys explored the world one night Ban brought up news about this drink that could give you immortality, using the sly line

“Then we can be together forever”

To which you laughed and hit him playfully, but he was entirely serious, you sighed and ended up agreeing to your adventurous boyfriends plan, if it wasn’t real at least you guys would have a fun time

So you guys began your journey to the fairy kings forest, when you guys had finally got to the tree you looked up and groaned

“That’s a huge tree, do we have to climb it?” You ask and he snorts as he already begins getting his hands and legs ready to climb

“You don’t have to, you can wait down here” he says smugly and you glare at the back of his head

“No I’m coming, I might as well see it through” you mutter annoyed to which he laughed

“That’s my girl” he says and you look away in embarrassment, feeling flustered at the comment which almost sent the blue haired man flying off the tree in amusement

As you guys climbed and finally made it to the top a girl, a little one at that looked at you both with a straight face as she puts her hand up and a huge wind blows you guys off

You scream in fear as you get blown far back and far above the ground, Ban grits and teeth and clicks his tongue as he grabs you as you guys start falling and takes the impact

You quickly got off of him and looked at him, tears almost in your eyes

“Oh my god! Ban! Ban I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for you to take the impact! Ban!! Ban-“ you frantically said to the man on the ground who’s eyes were closed

“If you keep calling my name out like that it’d be plain bullying if I didn’t wake up” he groans as he slowly sits up and you quickly hug him to which he chuckles and embraces you back

“Alright let’s try again” he says and your eyes widen slightly

“But ban-“ you begin and he just looks at you with his normal goofy smile you can never turn down, you sigh, deeply may I add and look at him

“Okay..I trust you” you say and he grins even wider as he grabs your hand and stands up as you guys started running towards the tree

The same thing happened a few times, it hurt, a lot but Ban never let you get too injured, always taking the impact of the fall even if you tried to fight with his grip in the air

The last time you guys got up there Ban grabbed his weapon and your eyes widen slightly thinking he was gonna attack the little girl

But he manipulated his staff and instead grabbed the cub with his weapon, You gasped as you two got quickly bounded by trees and the girl took the cup from Bans hand

The girl stands in front of you guys seemingly doing something then she lets us both go, Ban started explaining why you guys wanted immortality and those of such, You didn’t expect him to tell her his whole life’s story but

“Well shes too strong Y/n, let’s just go back” he says smiling at you as he holds out his hand, you smile lightly and nod as you grab it and you both head back down the tree

You guys were camping near the tree those days you were climbing it, you decided you’d stay another week since the fairy kings forest is actually quite pretty and you wanted to explore a bit before leaving since this opportunity may never come again

One night as you laid asleep in your sleeping bag you felt moving, you opened your eyes groggily to see your boyfriend quietly leaving the tent, you thought nothing of it, maybe he was going to pee or he was extra hungry or there was something dangerous nearby

Ignoring it you let yourself fall back into a deep slumber

But as the days and nights continued he kept sneaking out, you started getting suspicious so on the 4th night he snuck out you waited a little bit pretending you were sleeping and after a few minutes you slowly crept out of the tent

You looked around whispering your boyfriends name, this could be a huge misunderstanding after all

You went all around the forest and no sight of Ban

You went back to the tent and looked in, maybe you missed him?? But nope he wasn’t in there

You finally stopped in front of the tree and looked up, remembering the girl that resided there, logically speaking she was older then both of us since fairy’s live longer

“He didn’t” you whisper, you didn’t want to think, no you absolutely were wrong, must be seeing the wrong picture

Your boyfriend of years and hardships is not sneaking out at night to meet up with another girl, no it sounds absurd even thinking about it

‘I’ll just climb and check and I’ll be wrong, I’ll take the wind blow’ you think nodding your head reassuring yourself

You start climbing up the tree as quietly as possible, when you finally made it up and peaked up your mouth fell agape as you saw Ban and the girl chatting and laughing, all close

It surprised you so much that you lost grip on the tree and fell back, you rolled down the tree as if it was a hill, your limbs flying to and fro as you finally hit the bottom

You groaned quietly in pain

“What was that?” Ban says as he stops his conversation with Elaine hearing a soft thump

Elaine looks to the side

“ I didn’t hear anything?” She says and Ban shrugs as they continue to talk

You on the other hand shakily get up as you look at yourself, your arm was bleeding but you don’t know from where, your left ankle was sprained for sure, and your back was killing you it probably had a horrible bruise forming

A tear slipped out as you limped to the tent, you sat down as you grabbed bandages and started cleaning your wounds, the blood was coming from a gash just below your shoulder, probably from a sharp branch

You put a stick in your mouth as you took a deep breath, you grabbed some of Bans alcohol and poured it over the cut, you bit down harshly on the stick but no scream made it through, tears can’t say the same though

You spit out the stick as you breathed hard, every breath of air seeming like you haven’t had oxygen for a while, you take a bandage and wrap it around your arm securely

Usually you would make herbs for wounds and etc, but your hands were shaky, mind a daze and eyes blurry from tears

You wrapped up your sprained ankle and just let your back be in pain because there wasn’t much you could do about the pain back there

You sat silently in the tent waiting for your boyfriend to arrive, he did not arrive till the morning, about an hour and a half before you would usually wake up

When he opened the tent and saw you staring blankly at his empty sleeping bag he went to you and was about to touch your shoulder to ask you what was wrong but you jerked back

He was surprised as you looked at him, your eyes puffy, a huge sign you were crying

“Y/n what-“

“Where were you last night Ban?” You ask and he goes silent

“No in fact where were you the past 4 nights??” You ask and he sighs

“Y/n I just went out to explore and hunt, the foods not gonna come to us-“

You scoff, tears forming up, if he’s lying then is it true that he..

“You’re lying Ban, you’re lying to me” you grit out and he looks at you a little confused but mostly surprised

“What?”

“You were up there in that tree with that girl..” you say dangerously quiet and he sighs his head falling as he realizes he’s been caught and it looks totally wrong too

“Y/n..” he begins and you shake your head

“No no dont Y/n me, why did you lie and why were you sneaking out?!” You shout

“Y/n we were just talking I swear, I lied because I didn’t know how you would react-“

“HOW I WOULD REACT? HOW WOULD YOU REACT IF I WAS SNEAKING OFF LATE AT NIGHT AND MEETING UP WITH SOME GUY BAN?? HUH??!” You ask pushing him back but you wince as the wound near your shoulder moves

Ban notices this then notices the bandage on your arm and ankle

“Y/n what happened?” He asks quickly as he pulls your ankle into his palm to examine it, but you pull it back quickly

“You’re not even answering me, I-I can’t believe this, I can’t.” You say as you lay down in your sleeping bag, you were extremely tired from staying up the whole night already

You laid on the opposite side you usually lay on because of the wound on your other shoulder and thankfully it was the side not facing Ban

You guys didn’t speak for the whole day and when night came you woke up only to see Ban gone

“Y-You’re kidding” you whisper, you quickly get out, you run to the tree as you go up the route you began to remember with your mind at this point

You climbed up skillfully fast ignoring the roaring pain in both your ankle and shoulder, you peaked up and not to your surprise you see Ban and Elaine speaking under the oh so romantic fairy lights

With no sound you climbed back down, you walked to your tent and went in, grabbing your bag you grabbed your herbs, bandages, clothes and canned foods, leaving some for Ban even in your mood

You rolled up your sleeping bag and dig the dirt under as you grabbed your bag of coins, you and Ban always hid your money in case of any intruders, you guys were bandits after all

You take your money and put it in your bag as you get out the tent and leave

Ban returned back in the morning, he had asked Elaine what he should do to fix things and what a girl usually would like in this type of situation, you guys had never fought so bad to the point you didn’t speak the whole entire day

He was scared you were actually done with him, he had a few picked flowers in his hand and he took a deep breath as he opened the tent

But his eyes widen when he sees your stuff gone and your sleeping bag rolled up, he drops the flowers as he looks around frantically

“Y/N?? Y/N WHERE ARE YOU?!” He yelled, he ran everywhere around the forest looking for you, but you were no where in sight

By the time night fell he still couldn’t find you and it felt like his whole world was collapsing in front of him, he couldn’t think and he couldn’t even yell anymore bc he was sure he lost his voice by how loud and long he was screaming your name

He quickly wiped a tear that rolled down his cheek as he quickly climbed the tree, Elaine looked over at him worriedly

“You didn’t come at our usual time I was worried” she said and looks away blushing slightly

“She left Elaine! She left and I can’t find her anywhere” he says as he falls onto his knees and the tears finally come out

“She left me Elaine I-“ he says hoarsely

Elaine frowns sadly as she goes over and hugs him

“Well Ban...maybe she wasn’t the right one..there’s other people who can make you happy” she says

“Her injuries, she had bandages on her right arm and an injury on her ankle as well! She can get really hurt out there I have to find her” he cried

“Ban she left you, maybe it’s time to move on” Elaine says hintfully and lets go of Ban as she flies to the cup, she gives it to Ban and smiles at him

“Really?” He asks and she nods blushing a bit, he drank it slowly and when Elaine wasn’t looking he poured some inside of a glass bottle

“Ban I like-“ Elaine begins but Ban gets up

“I’m sorry Elaine I think this is the last time you’ll be seeing me, I checked every inch of the forest last night so that means Y/n has left the forest, I’m gonna be leaving as soon as I make it to the tent and get my stuff” he says to the girl who’s face falls in despair

“W-What wait but Ban she-“ she began

“She left? She had a good reason, if I was in her position I’d be upset too I can’t blame her” he says running a hand through his hair

“B-BUT SHE-SHE” Elaine tries to plead but stops when she sees Ban smile at her

“No matter what she did or does, she’s the only one my heart races for, in life or in death Y/n is my one true love so...wherever she goes I’ll chase her” he says and with that he jumps off the tree

Elaine falls to her knees as she watches the spot Ban once stood in, her head falling down as tears fell on to the tree

Ban had gotten to the tent and began packing all his stuff he got his money bag from under his sleeping , though he wonders where you hid yours and leaves

He travels for towns and towns looking for you, he had finally found you but much to his dismay you got captured since you were injured and were in a pretty tight situation as you were on death row

He watched as you and other prison mates were in a yard just doing your own things, you were laying on a bench staring at the sky

“Pssst”

You look up quickly and look around not seeing anyone, you were about to lay back down

“Pssst Y/n!”

You look around again noticing the familiar voice

“I must be going crazy” you mutter as you hold your forehead

“You’re not! Look over here!”

You slowly look to the side of the fence you were near and your eyes slowly landed on a bush, soon blue hair popped up from behind the bush and Ban gave you that grin of his

“Ban!” You say, a smile on your face, but you quickly replace it by a scowl and look away from him

He smiles slightly at that

“Y/n come on look at me” he whispers and you begrudgingly look over at him and he smiles, causing you to get flustered and your scowl to shake trying not to smile

“What are you doing here, you better hurry up and escape before they catch you too” you whisper not looking at him, instead watching the guards

He laughs

“As if I would leave you in a jail cell, come on let’s go” he says and you look at him stupidly

“Let’s go? No thanks death row isn’t that bad” you say coldly and he sighs

“Fine, guess we have to do this the hard way” he says shrugging

“HEY GUARDS” He shouts and your eyes widen as you sit up and block him with your body as the guards and inmates look at you

“UHH YEAH GUARDS, UHM YOUR ZIPPERS DOWN” you say and cringe deeply when the guards both look down and one coughs as he zips up his zipper, the inmates laughing

When everything died down you looked at Ban deadly

“Are you crazy?” You whisper

“Crazy for you”

Your mouth closes as you try to not blush but it’s inevitable as your brows unfurrow and a small smile takes over

“There’s that smile I love” he says and you roll your eyes as you huff slightly

“You better explain, I’m not giving you another chance so don’t you lie to me” you say and he nods quickly like a dog, you can basically see the tail behind him wagging

“Now step back babe, you’re boyfriends here to save you” he says smugly and you roll your eyes as you back up

He takes out his staff and in a swift motion breaks the fence, the guards all look over

“HEY” one shouts and you gasp as Ban quickly scoops you up and starts running

“It’s okay! I’ll take this bandit off your hands!” He shouts amused as he runs, he runs into a forest and does many turns eventually losing the guards who had to return back before any other inmates escaped

He puts you down lightly and you cross your arms to which he snorts

“I can run you know” you say and he shakes his head as he leans down and takes out a jar of green stuff

“They’re not as good as yours but they should do” he says and he gently takes your leg as he pulls up the inmate suit and sees your swollen ankle

“Tch stupid guards didn’t even treat it” he mutters as he takes some of the green cream and slowly and gently rubs it over your ankle

You can’t lie this felt really good but

“The first night I went up to try to plead for the youth drink” he says and you look at him

“The second night I went up to try and bribe for the youth drink”

“The third night I spoke to her, I tried to get to know her so she can see we have no bad intentions but one night wasn’t enough”

“The 4th night she had decent trust in me, so we continued talking”

He sighed as he started wrapping the bandage around your ankle softly, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Ban this gentle

“And the 5th night?” You ask and he looks to the side, you noticed a slight blush

“The 5th night I asked advice on what I should do to make you forgive me..” he mutters and your mouth falls agape slightly, it slowly forms into a small smile

“I’m sorry for not letting you explain..” you say and he shakes his head

“No, I can see how this looked from your perspective” he says as he rolls up your sleeves and switches the old bloodied bandages on your arm

You chuckle softly

“So I guess we can’t be together forever” you say sighing and as he rubs the herb cream on your bruised back he raises his eyebrow and pulls out a glass bottle with pink liquid

“Sorry but you’re not escaping me so easily” he says and you gasp as you grab the bottle and look at it

“This is really it??” You say looking back at him and he nods proudly

You slowly open it and drink it, but you didn’t feel that different

“Did it work?” You ask and he shrugs to which you deadpan

That day you both held hand as you jumped off a cliff, when you landed you guys sat up as you laughed and high fived, it worked

After a few months both you and Ban were caught purposely cause life began to get boring, you both sat in the same cell, after 33 executions you both are still alive in confinement

“I win” you say as you cross an all three X’s on the tic tac toe you made on the dirt in the ground

“You’re cheating” Ban replies and you laugh

Soon the door blows open and you two looked over to see a short man with blonde hair, you both smiled as Meliodas smiled back at you two

“Glad to see you two are still lovebirds”

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ballorawan740 · 3 years

Text

SCP Scenarios: SCP x Fem!Child!Hybrid!Reader

Requested by: @nightfoxyycats

I'm so sorry this took longer than expected T_T

(Yes Ik it's longer than the others I do, and that's cuz I usually end up mixing the headcanons into drabbles/one-shots, but this time, I kept it as bullet points and I got carried away. Oops. And yes, it's easier to write headcanons this way but it'll end up being long af)

When Cain first met you, he overheard and was curious about this new SCP during a test, so he decided to come and watch, from afar of course.

Anyways, the little test was just a plain and boring one and little (Y/N) was taken back to her containment cell after 10 minutes. Cain had requested to see you as he remembered seeing in your file that you can breathe fire and cry lava among other things due to your dragon abilities.

It's not like he didn't believe them since he's been in the foundation for many years, but he was just curious about a hybrid child like you and wanted to see if you were doing well. You being a shy child was quiet at first and when Cain went to visit you every so often, you both became close and he was a father figure to you, even though you were abandoned by your father since birth and your mother died not long later.

He took good care of you and made sure you were well fed. You were rather polite to the guards and staff so Cain wouldn't need to worry too much about you intentionally killing them. But only for a short period of time as who knows what you'll be like when you're older.

Luckily for Cain, you were also carnivorous, so he didn't have to worry about you eating your 5 a day (not that you wanted to anyways you ungrateful meat-eating child).

Whenever there's a containment breach, the first thing he does is to look for you

Aside from some side effects, he isn't worried too much as he wouldn't receive any wounds anyways so hell just charge towards anyone who looks/sound like you

He's basically your new dad ok?

SCP 076 (Abel)

Abel first came into contact with you during a containment breach

He just saw you casually flying around and occasionally lending the guards a hand by breathing fire just to burn some holes for easier access (how professional)

He saw you again moments later when you were alone and you decided to approach this hulk of a man to ask for some help, thinking he worked there. Abel had abandoned you (like your hopes and dreams left you a millennium years ago) but you insisted on going with him so he took you in

Later his rage in the facility had vanished as he had cared for you for the short period of time he had met you and handed you over to the guards, much to their surprise

He then ran away as he's not totally scared of kids or anything and hid in his box

You insisted on visiting 076-2 and so the researchers did, realising much later that you both had bonded. Abel was a parental figure to you.

A very overbearing protective guardian I must say.

Even more so when there's a containment breach

Like imagine 610 and 682 mashed up together to form an extremely hostile entity and that's Abel for you

But that's only if you were hurt, if you weren't or fit was just a normal containment breach, had be extremely worried

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor) (Guy's pls don't be mistaken, I don't have any beef with 049 ok? XD If I make any characters a little OC then 049 will gladly rid the pestilence from you without consent)

This sassy MF so-called doctor right here met you when for some reason, the doctors had decided to put you both into a testing room (no, it wasn't Bright's idea).

049 was just doing his thing as you just sat on a really high chair (cuz you do be short so ofc you wouldn't be sitting on a lower chair which is lower than your taste in men/women) and watched curiously. The doctor thought it was somewhat cute and laughed slightly from your curiosity.

Sensing that you didn't have the pestilence, he allowed you to scooch closer just to see. After the test was done, the guards took you back out with slight aggression, but you, for some reason, were still polite to the guards despite their aggression which made 049's heart swell due to your pureness.

You yawned slightly and accidentally blew out fire from your mouth which almost caused a containment breach if it weren't for 049's quick thinking

Later on, the researchers had decided to put you both in the testing room again, and you both began to bond as 049 requested you to burn the bodies he performed surgery on

Needless to say, you both had a great time and the researchers were mildly amused

If you somehow knew another friend (*ahem* 035), he'd probs ask him/her to care/loof for you if there were a containment breach

Or he would just sigh and look after you himself if you were closer to 035 and he asked so nicely

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask) (Right about 049 being sassy.... I'll take that back, 035 is the sassiest, right next to a certain sculpture in the foundation)

Anyhow, 035 was actually the reason you were stuck in the foundation anyways

God knows how, but you met this guy wearing this theatre mask and you ended up here in the foundation

Now everyone thought you were either a Keter or Euclid

I mean, you were so close to being put into the Euclid class but ended up in safe since you were so polite to the researchers as well as shy and relatively easy to contain... For now

Whenever they used you in a test, you were rewarded with whatever you wanted, within reason ofc, whenever you behaved well which was like 98% of the time minus minor accidents since you weren't entirely in control of your powers

Sometimes instead of a reward, you'd request to see 035 as he would perform to you and that was only granted when its safe to do so and when that hideous mask would do as he/she/it is told

035 would be that somewhat overprotective yet goofy uncle that everyone loved and he was totally wrapped around your fingers unless you were hurt or if he urgently needed something or someone

If there was a containment breach, he'd look for you, if not he'll call out his 'friend' to look out for you (*cough* 049 *cough*)

When 035 finds you, he'd most likely ask you to fly around to see the nearest exit or he'd just carry you when there's someone chasing you

If 035 were to kill anyone, you'd cry and tell him no to which did end up in burning the floor but oh wells, they're rich enough to contain him so why not use the extra money to rebuild the floor right?

Anyways, 035 loves you no matter what and he'd do anything to make sure you're doing well

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

Ok so, when you and 999 first met each other, you were kind of just wandering around the facility minding your own business

999 just casually slithered up to your leg and offered you some sweets and a hug since you looked upset and so you accepted it

You both found a place to sit and just talk bout stuff and what life was like before you were captured

But you were cheery just like 999 and rarely attacked anyone, and if you ever did, it was either that you were hella pissed or you accidentally breathed fire/teared up some lava which burnt some stuff

The researchers would secretly take in some notes bout your interactions and just continued on with their day and left you both alone, but would sometimes keep a stern eye on you

They say it's for everyone's safety, and that's true to an extent, but the main reason they do it is to monitor your progress of you controlling your powers

Anyways, sometimes when it gets busy in the cafe or down the hallway, you just fly across the room, and sometimes, you'll be extra cheeky and play hide and seek with the researchers

999 would occasionally join in but he's more like a worried older brother to you

During containment breaches, 999 would run around looking for you and when he did, he would check if you had any injuries

When you say you didn't, he was relieved but not for long since you mentioned bout making new SCP friends and he just died right there and then (not really)

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

Similarly to Able, he'd be wary of you at first

Like, he can sense that you weren't just an ordinary child when you just appeared behind him

He was somewhat irritated when you followed him around, but you reminded him of 053, so he just let it slide and let you show some affection towards him

It's not like he didn't like it, he was just embarrassed

Anyhow, the researchers wanted to test how 682 would bond with you, so they made you meet up with him again but in his cell

You were both chatting like father and daughter and soon, everyone had found out that not only could you fly, you could also cry lava, which yes did burn a small hole on the ground and you could somehow breathe fire

You were also immune to the fire and lava so they decided to have a full-on body check and discovered that you were built similar to the komodo dragon with a side of 682 (XD Don't ask)

682 was left stunned, but luckily he didn't feel the need to run up the wall like that bunny

Like who tf invented a self-eating bunny?

Anyways, research shows that just like Abel, the giant lizard was very protective of you

The theory has it that you were somehow related to the lizard, perhaps he laid an egg before containment and some guy took it in and froze it then decided to hatch the egg

During containment breaches, he would basically rampage around the facility, killing anyone and everyone until he found you

And when he did, he would check on you like the amazing father he is and then carry on killing but was then stopped by you

So he would just carry you around until you fell asleep

SCP 105 (Iris)

I think Iris would be a good mother/sister figure when it comes to kids

It kinda came from the fact that Iris hangs out with Abel and Cain a lot, so it kinda just rubs off her

Her motherly/sisterly instinct just heightened when she first found you on a mission and she just took you in

It took a while to bribe the foundation that she kinda had custody

Not exactly custody, but she had a say when it came to your safety, especially the fact that you weren't exactly human and your appearance would cause a disturbance to others

I feel like Iris would be a stern yet kind guardian towards you, leaning towards the stern part since you're a child SCP and has fire breath and lava tears

Iris wouldn't be entirely bothered by you flying around, but she had to bribe the researchers and some SCPs to help you fly better

She would murder anyone who had to cry because they made you cry and cleaning up after your tears is such a mess considering that you have little control over them

Your fire breath on the other hand is slightly more controllable, but if you were hella happy or mad you'd breathe the fire and burn anyone/anything

Most of the time, its unintentional and you're usually sweet and kind towards anyone, so manners aren't a big thing for Iris to teach you

She'd even teach you some of the stuff she learnt/discovered and you'd just sit there being nosy and curious about everything

Like that one time, you almost caused a breach cus you were so curious and friendly that 682 was about to snap off your head and rampage out of the foundation

And don't even get me started with the brothers and 096, OML

Other than that, you both were like a family you never had :,) (You're welcome!!!)

During containment breaches, Iris would literally pick you up and run

Unless you weren't with her for whatever reason (Yes, you're attached to each other's hips... Don't lie, you love it!), she'd do anything to find you

If you were hurt, shed tend to your injuries immediately and lecture you about safety

If you weren't hurt, shed still give you a lecture, then pick you up and run

If you made friends on the way, she may or may not approve and bite of anyone head

And the foundation wouldn't want an Angry!Iris around

SCP 106 (Old Man)

This old man here is basically the definition of a cool uncle/granddad

Without a doubt, he'd go into his pocket dimension and comes back with a teddy bear or some sweets

He'd spoil you a lot and the foundation had enough of this cuz by the time you become an adult, you wouldn't be independent enough

Anyways, 106 would let you go into his dimension and practice your abilities there for the safety of others

The researchers would occasionally ask you to carry a camera with you just so they know what it's like in his pocket dimension

106 rarely gets mad, and even if he was, it'll be about someone trying to hurt you since you're too kind and shy to make him mad

You're even kind to the researchers and guards which is worrying to 106 as they might take advantage of your kindness (which may be true for some, but most of them are just glad you're kind since it makes their jobs so much easier)

Sometimes, you'd make things levitate which was a shock to anyone who walked by and witnessed this

But only for a few seconds though, so it's not much

106 would encourage you to use your telekineses and he'd attempt to train you

Which didn't work so well, so that sucks

During containment breaches, he'd use his pocket dimension to his advantage

He'd hide you in there just so you don't have to get hurt

If you weren't there with him, he'd kill and hunt down anyone who might know where you are

He'd make sure you weren't hurt otherwise he would go into scary uncle mode

If you weren't hurt, he would just hug you which stops you from crying lava

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

Now what makes you and 096 a unique pairing is that you're both shy

The only difference is that you can speak but 096 kinda doesn't

But that's not a problem since you both just understood each other since day 1

I'd say 096 is that introverted uncle/cousin but he's kinda chill and sweet with you

As for containment breaches, the only difference with this tall guy is that not only will he kill anyone who sees his face, he'd also hunt down anyone who'd hurt you

096 has a newfound ability for this and the researchers were shocked when they first found out

A certain chainsaw loving doctor wanted to test it out himself but was stopped rather quickly by the other researchers

Anyways, one time you almost burnt down the foundation because 096 crept up behind you which scared you to tears

And you screamed as well which didn't help at all since you could breathe fire

Also, when you're not with 096, you'd use your levitating powers to grab lighter objects which did result in the objects falling onto your head

And this is why you need to train more, so then objects wouldn't be yeeted onto your tiny head and knock the nonexistent brain cells out of your nonexistent brain - Sorry not sorry (Ok so at least pretend to laugh)

If anyone bullied you and you didn't say a word, 096 would know and even if you tried to stop him, it wouldn't work

Unless you're in a life-threatening situation, but even then, he'd kill the guy

Dr. Simon Glass

Unlike the others on the list, you're the one who approached the doctor

Mainly because you were lost, but you were curious as well

Simon would probably be the best person to run into, other than Kondraki, but still

It's because he's a psychologist and still very much human (I mean, Kondraki's a normal human I guess, but he has those butterfly thingys)

Anyways, when he first saw you, you were in his office flying about and crying lava

Simon saw you and was shocked but attempted to calm you down and get you you sit with him for a bit, then call the others

But boy did that not work out, because this poor innocent boi was boutta get killed by your firey breath cuz he startled you too much

Bright, Kondraki and Clef just strolled in and saw the mess and even attempted to get you to chill, but this didn't work either

So poor Simon Glass had to find his way to get you to stop being so scared which obviously worked

You sat down with him and he let you doodle on a blank piece of paper

And being a good psychologist he is, he used psychological methods to get you to feel comfortable and to start talking to which you did

You were so polite he gave it to a chocolate bar, but instead of taking it off his hands, you used your telekineses to levitate it in your direction

Simon recorded what he had seen before letting the other researchers take you and offered to take you under his wing on the condition that you were you have a check-up every now and again

That wasn't much of a problem since you were so polite and chill - Usually

During containment breaches, he would make sure that you were safe first and it wasn't so difficult to deal with you since you were with him most of the time

When you're not with him, he'd be extremely worried like a mother hen and run in any direction that would take him to you

He'd be relieved to see you and if you were hurt, he'd bandage you up and try to not cry

If you've made new friends, he would be very happy about it - Unless it's a Keter or Euclid class

They'll be on his watchlist

Anyhow, Simon Glass is basically your mother and mentor

He'd teach you all the basics you'll need and help train you if he can (he'd most likely have to ask the other doctors and SCPs with some bribery)

Dr. Jack Bright

Our favourite doctor here would be that goofy uncle/dad

I feel that he'd sympathise with you since he's also an SCP (sorta) and he feels kind of trapped in the foundation

If you're lucky enough, Jack might be able to take you out for an hour for some fresh air

You'll automatically be under his wing and nobody will ever question it. Ever.

Although he may be goofy and does stupid things, he would be surprisingly protective and his fatherly instincts kick in right away since he first met you

He would allow you to use your powers to an extent and teach you how to use your power properly

You are well aware of his anomalous abilities with his neckless, so whenever Bright had to change bodies, you'd automatically know where he is (other than the obvious neckless thingy)

If there were to have a containment breach, Bright would panic but quickly become calm as that's the only way he could find you and keep you safe

When he finds you he would give you that lecture while finding any scratches on you

If you were to grow, he would give most guys the dad glare of the century and all those guys would run tf away cuz nobody messes with Bright's newfound daughter

I have high doubts that he would let anyone do tests with you when he's not there and even if he was, they would need his approval, so most of the time, you don't even need to worry much

Dr. Alto Clef

(OML Why do I keep adding new characters?! There's so much to write T_T)

Right, so when Clef found you, it was like as if his long lost (well... not so lost) memory came back to him

For some reason, you reminded him of 166 (OML I'm so lost for this SCP, like boi she had a rewrite)

So he took you in the foundation like he did with his daughter and took care of you Since he works for the foundation, he's not remotely terrified or anything, but he's curious about your abilities

And of course, you managed to use some of your abilities because of some SCPs and Bright Clef took you to meet 166 and you both showed your abilities and since 166 is older than you, she's probably trying to help you control your powers more

Which, of course, makes Clef a proud dad

If there were any containment breaches, he'd panicked but once he found you with his other daughter, he was relieved

166 made sure that you weren't hurt and if you were, you'd be bandaged up so Clef doesn't have to worry too much

Anyhow, if Clef decides to introduce you to the tiger doctors, he'd make sure Glass is the first since he's the most sensible person (but let's face it, he wouldn't admit it)

Then it'll be Iceberg, Coggs (that's his name right), Light and a couple others Bright and Kondraki would be last since they would be somewhat chaotic (mainly Bright) even though they're the fun uncle

Whenever Clef has a mission, he'd shove you to either 166 or Glass, if he's free, if not then it'll most likely be Light (and if she's also busy, then yall screwed)

And bless the guy who takes an interest in you when you become a teen cuz our messy boi would make sure that guy would suffer

Dr. Benjamin Kondraki

Ok let's face it, Kondraki would definitely be the mother hen of the dad world in the SCP Foundation

He's literally your mother, kinda like Glass but kinda not, ya know what I'm saying?

Like he'll feed your curiosity since many people around you wouldn't and you're an SCP so you're trapped in the foundation anyways

I'd say he's quite cautious and caring, obviously, but if he's out and about, he'd definitely let you go with him

Unless he's going out for a mission, then that's a definite no-no

He would let you hang out with the safer SCPs like 999 and maybe 166 if Clef is chill, but he has to let you hang out with her cuz she's the only other SCP who could help you get a grasp with your powers

Like how to not burn the bloody floor when you cry and stop breathing fire inconsistently by accident

An attempt was made when they try to train your telekineses but they'll have to wait till you're older

Since most of the time you're stuck with Kondraki, I don't think he'd be all too worried bout breaches, of course, he'd be worried about your safety, but you're there with him

If not then god knows what Kondraki would do

Like that one time, he begged Clef and Bright to look for you in which they did but then they made him do something for them in return

Let's just say, it wasn't pleasant at all, but it could be worse since Clef had a shred of sympathy left for the man and Bright just wanted chainsaws

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empiressmpheadcanons · 2 years

Note

Consider: Evil Gem AU except not corrupted for once (shocking from me, I know)

I don’t have much it’s one of like five aus I was playing through in my head on the walk home and it was entirely based on 3 lines of dialogue but oh well XD

(Also I rewatched the kidnapping bit in Gem’s episode for reference and “you shouldn’t take eyeballs from strangers” had be struggling not to laugh out loud in the library lmao)

So this is set around the time of the kidnapping in canon except Scott doesn’t get taken as well, just Gem. So she’s stuck in the cell on her own, refusing to give up information on the dragon egg and trying to ignore the insults Sausage and Joey hurl at her.

A week passes. No one has come for her. Do they even care?

Two weeks. Fwhip’s probably still looking for her. None of the others would be though. Why would they? Not even her own allies like her. She sees the way they look at her and Fwhip and Sausage, especially after the ravine incident.

Three weeks. She’s surprised Sausage hasn’t given this up by now. Everyone else is probably glad she’s gone. No one is going to find her. Gem began to plan.

A month. She tells Sausage she’ll give him the egg. She knows she’s been abandoned by everyone, she says. What does it matter to her if their empires fall to the corruption?

As he lets her out she leans on him for support, citing a bad burn on her leg as the reason why. She can’t pull herself up the ladder, weak from her time stuck in the cell. Concerned, Sausage tells her to stay at his empire for a while, as a guest this time, and he’ll help her recover. She gratefully accepts, so much of the tension she didn’t realise she was holding draining out of her as she breathes fresh air for the first time in too long.

Gem had never been good at lying to Sausage. She’s learned.

That night she sneaks out of her room, aforementioned injuries nowhere in sight. Really, did Sausage think she’d been doing nothing while imprisoned? She’d done as much as she could whenever eyes were turned away, ready for a fight if need be.

When she enters the king’s quarters Sausage only has a moment of wakefulness before she throws down one of the sleep potions he’s so fond of. Let’s see how much he likes the damp and dingy cells.

(She’s under no illusions about the fact he’ll be found the next morning. The Mythland guards had a frequent rotation schedule. It was just the first part of her revenge.)

After a moment of hesitation her hands close around Sausage’s staff, and as the power floods through her she suddenly understands why he uses it. It’s intoxicating, and she doesn’t know if she can ever go back.

She walks right out of Mythland, and no one dares to stop her.

When Gen arrives home she pulls out a large map. She’s always been a planner, why should the destruction of the other empires be any different?

And the dialogue I didn’t even get to:

“Gem, you don’t have to do this. Whatever Xornoth promised you, it’s a lie. Just put the TNT down, we can work this out. Please.”

Gem looked down condescendingly at the pleading face of her brother and laughed. The sound sent shivers down the spines of everyone present, cruel and mocking.

“You think I’m doing this for Xornoth? Oh Fwhippy, you wish I was working for them. I’m far worse than they will ever be. And do you want to know why they haven’t sent one of their little minions after me again?” Fwhip didn’t answer, but she continued anyway, spreading her arms wide and laughing again. “Xornoth is scared of me! I’m so powerful that even a demon doesn’t interfere with me! So what does that say about your chances, hmm?”

“I don’t have much,” I said, you know, like a liar.

BUT ACTUALLY THIS GOT SO LONG OOP

I’ve had your corrupted Gem playlist on while writing this it’s such a bop

Gem offered to spare Fwhip’s empire if he joins her because she knows he would have been looking for her. He refuses of course, but she did offer.

Hehehe Gem gets to go feral and murder everyone

Also I’m picturing this Gem has a lot of burn marks because she was in there for a lot longer than in canon and got shot a lot. Since they were made with dark magic they glow faintly when she uses it which is both incredibly frantic and incredibly creepy, especially the large one that covers most of her neck and some of her face.

-🦊

YET ANOTHER BANGER FROM FOX ANON!!!

YEAHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS SM

Also thank u:)

*chanting* FERAL GEM FERAL GEM FERAL GEM FERAL GEM FERAL G

#Empires smp #geminitay #au #🦊 anon

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aerialflight · 3 years

Text

Fic Rec (it's been too long and I read a whole lot of fics)

I've read so many fics these past couple of months and my need to share them to the world has seized me by the throat. Please enjoy and support these fanfic writers! They are the best. XD

[Naruto]

Nine-Tailed Foxes are Dead by RowlettLesbian

Ship: Shikamaru/Naruto

For Konoha, it's been one month since the preliminary Chunin exams. For Naruto, it's been six. And he wasn't in Konoha.

At the end of his ordeal, Naruto walks into the Chunin Exam finals without his left arm.

Shikamaru is very concerned. And, eventually, very precious to Naruto as they work together to solve the mysteries of Konoha and bring kindness to the Shinobi world, one adventure at a time.

(I would die for this fic. I know the summary sounds doom and gloom but IT'S NOT. This fic made me fucking cry, I don't think I've ever read a fic that characterized Naruto so right. He's so full of hope and love and develops into the best version of himself and I'm so HERE FOR IT. And it's not just Naruto, Shikamaru is absolutely amazing here along with Kakashi and surprise surprise Ino, I can't BELIEVE it took me this long to stumble across this fic. Also THE WORLDBUILDING IS TO DIE FOR!!! And the plot! Is! So! Interesting! Just, everything about this fic is just amazing so please PLEASE read this!!!)

The End of the Uchiha by RowlettLesbian

Ship: Naruto/Sasuke

“I promise, little electric spirit of this shrine,” he whispered into the soft dirt and fallen leaves, “I will never gain the eyes. I will never pass them on. And I will make sure the eyes end in my brother, so that they can’t hurt anybody anymore. I will be the last Uchiha, and see to the end of the Copy-Wheel Clan. Then all of the hatred here can stop, and my family can rest peacefully. I promise, little shrine.”

Sasuke is more than his brother thinks he is. He's more than any Uchiha has ever been. He will kill his brother, but it will not be vengeance.

It will be mercy.

(Same author as the one above, they are the gift that keeps on giving. Seriously, HOW did I NEVER FIND THESE FICS before now??? One of life's greatest mysteries. The author's sense of humor is so on point here along with the atmospheric writing that's so vivid in the mind. Their writing style is so recognizable to me now and makes me fall into the world they're creating, it's stunning. Sasuke here makes me want to hug him and the idea of him living like a feral ghibli character has me LIVING. Check the tags of the fic, all of it is true, hand to god. Please give all of the author's fics a shot, it's a rabbit hole I'm thankful I fell into!)

mil fantasmas (gritan en calma) by LegaciesandMemories

Post-Tsukuyomi, something in Uchiha Sasuke's mind shatters. The same night, Yamanaka Ino falls asleep and doesn't wake up for 15 days.

---

In which Ino and Sasuke both wake from the aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre with the ability to see ghosts, and no one is prepared for the fallout.

(This fic has arrested my curiosity and eagerness to know what will happen next. These poor kids need so many hugs and Ino is getting the spotlight she deserves. I am so excited for this fic and what it has in store! Please read! XD)

Lichtenberg Figures by Asteroid_Duck (JustThatOneGirl1815)

Name: Kakashi Hatake Rank: Jounin Status: Missing Nin Missing Since: June 15th, 271 AD Note: Flee on Sight . . . Haburashi looked his team in the eyes— three, fresh out of the Academy genin— and resolved to teach them as best as he could. And right now, his lesson was simple: “Stay. Away. From. Kakashi. Hatake.”

(Dimension travel fic with a slice of Kakashi being an absolute troll and dealing with the shitty hand he's been dealt with. Seriously, the man has the worst luck in all of Konoha. Also, the mystery of the other Kakashi's history has me leaning by the edge of my seat, I need to know.)

The Governess by Ysmirel

Ship: Kakashi/OFC

"“What,” he finally asked, “is so funny?”

Ibara bit her lower lip to keep the chuckles in, still smiling and making absolutely no effort to get more space between them, seemingly perfectly at ease within reach of a trained shinobi. Her self-control wasn't all that good, as she ended up snorting and was overcame once again by another fit of laughter. “I just- It's just-” She struggled to speak, trying to catch her breath and wiping away tears of mirth with the hand that wasn't still holding onto his vest. Finally, she looked him in the eye and said, with a smile that was all teeth and without a hint of her previous drunken stupor, “and who's going to believe you?”

As he stood there, stunned by her words and change in demeanor, he realized with dawning horror that she was right."

In which Kakashi finds himself at the other end of the troll shtick, and he doesn't appreciate it all that much.

(It's so hard to find self-insert fics with a fresh concept these days, especially in the naruto fandom. Not that I don't enjoy and devour a lot of self insert fics like it's going out of style, but it's just so nice to find something new and shiny and really damn good. I'm so pumped for this fic and how it's going to develop so please join me in rooting for this fic!)

half a league (until the valley of death) by SpectersShadow117

Kakashi can think of no reason for Sasuke's inexplicable and drastic change in behavior. He doesn't like the desperate, haunted gleam in his student's eyes, and he also doesn't like the nagging feeling that he's missing something very important. Aka: Future Sasuke goes to Past Sasuke and gives him a reality check with Specific Intentions, but as with most Uchiha, his methods leave much to be desired. (Featuring: Childhood trauma FTW, Konoha's shitty care of orphans, and absolutely no one having a fun time.)

(Sasuke wanting to change the future out of complete and utter spite has me LIVING. Sasuke is such a Mess here and the twist on the time travel premise is so good and the kid is so Traumatized and Desperate and Not Having A Good Time. Naruto and Sakura developing as better ninjas and Kakashi trying his best makes me want to scream. Also, how Sasuke thinks about Itachi makes me want to cackle. I am 100% down for this. I am rooting for this kid, go get them! XD)

[Harry Potter]

fruit loops in time (circle around me) by justprompts

Ships: Harry/Draco, Remus/Sirius

"This is Crabbe, and Goyle," the blonde boy says, pointing at the two boys next to him. "And I'm Malfoy, Draco Ma - "

Ron laughs, and Malfoy immediately bristles.

"Think my name's funny, do you?" Malfoy says, angrily. "No need to ask yours - "

"You're honestly so cute," Ron interrupts, yet again, shaking his head. "So tiny. And so angry, all the time. It's adorable."

Alternatively Ron Weasley, Time Traveller Extraordinaire, is stuck in the same seven year Hogwarts Loop, repeating the same thing over and over again. Naturally, he's so done with everything.

(This is the greatest hp fic I've ever read. I LOVE RON WEASLEY and by the time you read this fic SO WILL YOU!! This is the fic I WISH I have the ability to write. I read this entire fic aloud to my brother and we spent literal hours howling and talking about how utterly insane and incredible this fic is, it's amazing. This is hands down my favorite Ron Weasley. You Can Pry This Fic From My Cold Dead Fingers.)

[Boku no Hero Academia]

Kacchan's Cult by Ourliazo

Pro Hero Ground Zero is attacked, originally meant to be de-aged out of existence by a desperate villain but is instead launched into his 14-year-old self.

But Katsuki is a fucking pro so whatever, time to fuck up someone's day. And sure, maybe he's only one man, but that's why he conscripts the entirety of the UA student body into tearing down some criminal empires.

(It's time travel, crack, and Bakugou being his usual explody, competent self. What more in life do you want? Seriously though, please read. I'm obsessed with this fic and having a Good Time!)

Cleaning Crew; Teaching Kids to Value their Safety, for Fun and Profit by Reavv

Takenaka Hideo is a thirty-two year old, in mild desperation for money, who has just been hired as a new janitor for UA's support staff. He has a quirk that lets him find lost objects, a liaison with the police because of it, and desperate desire for competent co-workers.

Oh, and he's already lived a previous life, in a world where quirks and heroes didn't even exist.

Not a big deal, though. It's not like you ever see the janitor playing a big part in action movies. He's here to get paid, and that's it.

On the opposite side of the equation, class 1-A has to wonder at the new UA cryptid that always seems to show up when things are on fire, and who keeps trying to convince them to let the adults handle the fire extinguisher.

(A great deal of fun packed into one fic. That is how I title this fic and nothing will change my mind! Hideo just wants to quietly do his job and not get in the way. I Relate. Please read!)

Poltergeist by WriterGreenReads

Class 1-A is haunted.

Well, not really.

I AM dead, though.

World's friendliest poltergeist, at your service.

(I don't know how I got so sucked into OC fics, but I found some fantastic fics along the way so I have no regrets. The author really tries to push the premise and I just love all the interactions and dynamics that form as the fic gets further in. And the OC character and all the hijinks they get up to cracks me up! At the same time, it's pretty heartwarming and it's practically a friendships galore fic! Definitely recommend it!)

invincible by supercrunch for Engrin

Ship: Bakugou/Midoriya

This is the way the world works: the sun rises in the east. The strong come out on top. Bakugou Katsuki rockets through life like a comet and Midoriya Izuku stumbles after. If he believed in such things Katsuki would say it was written in the stars. That some god of war had looked at him and said this one. That he’d been passed along a line to get his blessings – genius, willpower, fearless ambition – and dropped off on earth.

Then, of course, there is the question of Deku. The spitfire runt. Deku, no matter what the world does to him, never stops hoping.

Until, of course, he eventually does.

(Katsuki broke him. Snapped him in half like a twig and now has to scramble to put Deku back together. “We can do this, Deku," he says slowly. "There are so many mysteries that never got put to bed. Criminals roaming around looking to hurt people and you and me, we can fix that.”

There’s a long pause. The comforter slips a little off Deku’s skinny shoulders and drowns him. “You mean like a team?”

In that split second, Katsuki makes a decision he’s never even considered. He swallows his pride. “Yeah, Deku. We’d be a team.”)

(If there was any other way canon could've gone, this is the story I would've wanted. It's perfect.)

Inadvertent Wilderness Therapy by Cacid

Following an unfortunate encounter with a teleporter on the last day of internships, Bakugou Katsuki and Hakamata Tsunagu spend some quality time in northern Canada.

In no particular order they will: build ugly survival shelters, stalk rabbits, run from polar bears, reflect on the chemical composition of trees, insult each other, and complain about krumholtz.

(THESE TWO. TOGETHER. IN THE WILDERNESS. IN FUCKING CANADA OF ALL PLACES. I still can't believe this fic actually exists and just how INVESTED I became in their relationship. Blue Jeanist instantly became my favorite ranked hero with this fic alone. HIS SENSE OF HUMOR IS TERRIBLE, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH FNIEWOPAF. BAKUGOU DOES TOO. IT'S FUCKING INCREDIBLE. *incoherent screeching into the wild*)

[Stranger Things]

Baci D'aria by RabbitDarling

“Love is worth the sum of itself, and nothing more.” ― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic

Steve learned a lot at his Aunt's side before she passed but his favourite thing she taught him was baci d'aria; special little spells that you created from the heart and put into the food you shared.

In opening his heart and gifts to those around him Steve slowly finds himself a family in a way he never thought he'd get to experience. One by One he collects pre-teens to trail in his wake like ducklings and Steve can't even refute it by the time he realizes what has happened.

(This fic is so soft and Steve is just collecting people and winning them over with his magical food (literally). I am always a sucker for heartwarming, good for the soul fics so if you want to make yourself hungry and feel all warm and gooey inside, read this!)

(Don't Fear) The Reaper by TeaFourTwo

Ship: Steve/Billy

He looks down at the blood on his hands and on the floor and wonders why the memory hasn’t broken yet, why he isn’t back in Starcourt mall with control of his body again, wonders if he's even still alive at all. Is this hell then? Or perhaps purgatory? It certainly isn’t heaven, that’s for sure. None of this makes any sense…but then what's new—nothing in Billy’s life makes sense anymore.

Billy laughs then, loud and long and unhinged. It's the only sound in the whole house, and it bounces off the walls like a fucked up echo, like the world is laughing with him.

“Jesus christ you’re insane…” It’s Max’s voice and it’s shaking. It only makes Billy laugh harder, because Max has it all wrong. Billy isn’t crazy, it’s the rest of the world that’s insane.

Billy dies a hero of sorts. He wakes up back in his bed on Saturday morning, the third of November, 1984...nearly nine months earlier.

(Billy is stuck in a time loop and it's slowly driving him crazy. And the fic shows just how much influence Billy did have in the plot and how doomed the world is without him in it. Great character exploration with Billy's character and all the ways he's so messy and human. Definitely recommend it!)

[Knives Out]

The Road Less Traveled By by UisceOneLove

Ship: Marta/Ransom

If Harlan wants to leave Ransom to be on his own, fine. He'll show him just what Ransom Drysdale is capable of.

or, where Ransom chooses to prove his abilities through means of the non-homicidal variety and finds himself becoming exactly what Harlan was hoping he would.

(I found this fic out of sheer chance and god, Ransom is just, so fascinating to me as a character. Marta of course is the Best here and I will forever stan her. Seriously, this is such a good fic! Please read!)

[Haikyuu!!]

Sky Full of Stars by grilledsquids

The Hinatas are twins. They're practically identical.

But while Shouyou seeks out Karasuno's volleyball team to become the next Little Giant, Natsu is scouted to to play soccer for Shiratorizawa. While Shouyou sets his eyes on playing volleyball at the highest level possible, his sister wonders how much longer she can play soccer... and if it's worth it to keep going.

A Natsu-centric story featuring: Shiratorizawa VBC shenanigans, too many soccer OCs, mild teenage drama, a little bit of plot, and Semi Eita not knowing what a period is.

(It's just!! So cute and wholesome!!! The Shiratorizawa volleyball team is so fleshed out along with the OC characters for the girl's soccer team and I swear, it's been a long while since I've laughed this much at the sheer shenanigans that happen in a fic. It's surprisingly hard to find good gen fics in this fandom so finding this gem made me so happy! If you want a fic that brings a smile to your face, read this!!)

like water by speakingincode

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says, and when Tooru looks at him, he can read My best friend’s an idiot off the crease of his eyebrows. “Are you telling me you spent the last three years weirdly obsessed with Kageyama – I still remember the time you made us play him on a dumb whim, you know – and now you’re at his beck and call? Are you okay? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m— I’m not at his beck and call! I said no last week. It’s… It’s like you said. I get bored easily. I saw him at the park a couple weeks after they played Nationals and called him a perfect little tyrant, and he pestered me into spending time with him after,” Tooru says. “I’m not a monster, Iwa-chan. If he wants the company of his cool, handsome ex-upperclassman that badly, who am I to begrudge him?”

Or: Oikawa doesn't know why Kageyama keeps asking to meet him on Saturdays. He also doesn't know why he keeps saying yes.

(The fact this fic is canon-compliant and covers post-canon too makes me want to shout to the heavens. Fucking incredible! One of the best Oikakage fics ever and it's a crime how it's not at the top of the ship tag. Please please read!!)

twist into your shape by kakkoweeb

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

The only thing better than sweets were sweets containing paper that told you whether your future would be good or bad--or in Kageyama and Oikawa's case, paper that somehow caused you to live inside each other's bodies.

(Everyone probably already read this fic but it needs to be said, you need to read this fic. How these two try and manage each other's lives and slowly start to care about one another is so beautiful and sincere and I am ready to wrestle anyone to the floor and comply them into reading this fic. Doesn't matter if you like the ship, you will become a fan if you read it, I promise. Please please read!!)

Take the Long Road Home by pepperfield

Ship: Kuroo/Sawamura

When Azumane Asahi goes missing before his engagement meeting with Kozume Kenma, what other option is there but for Daichi to impersonate his brother and fake his way through a first date with Asahi's fiance?

Okay, let's be realistic - there were probably at least four other options.

Unfortunately, Tetsurou couldn't come up with any of them either, so now he's here flirting with Kenma's future husband while trying to keep his web of deceit from collapsing.

It's going to be an eventful day.

(I got obsessed with this ship alongside Oikakage and SO WILL YOU. THE POTENTIAL. THE BANTER. THE FACT THEY'RE BOTH DORKS AND THE FIC HAS IDENTITY SHENANIGANS DANCING ALL OVER IT!! I had so much fun reading this and these two are MEANT TO BE FENIWPAF. If you don't see the potential of this ship, you will now.)

a misunderstanding a day keeps the boyfriend away by bartallen for betuls

Ship: Kuroo/Sawamura

Kuroo doesn’t fall in love hard and fast like many others do – he falls slowly, and very very softly. Most of the times he doesn’t even realise he’s in love with someone until it’s too late.

(Kuroo is the dumbest man alive and I've never related to someone so hard in my life. God help me.)

You like me. by roseknight

Ship: Daishou/Kuroo

Kuroo nearly lived a Daishou-free life, and sometimes he looked back and wondered how much better and how much worse that would've been.

(I didn't even know who Daishou was until I read this fic and now I can't unsee the potential this ship has. I'm a ruined woman and I regret NOTHING.)

Kings of the Road, Kings of the Universe by EzzyDean

Eight magical captains, one bus, an entire summer (and country) waiting for them.

What could possibly go wrong?

(The magic of friendship meets the magic of a summer road trip meets pure magic.)

(CAPTAIN SQUAD IS THE BEST SQUAD SOMEBODY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME SOME CAPTAIN SQUAD FICS I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SQUAD IT'S A PROBLEM AAAAHHHHHH!)

宿縁 : See You Soon by MissKiraBlue

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

Upon arriving at the train station of death, an impure soul is granted a second chance at life against his will. Reincarnating into the body of Kageyama Tobio, a 15-year-old boy who recently committed suicide. Tobio's soul will depart at death and the soul needs to slip in to replace it. If the soul's reformation succeeds, he’ll reenter the cycle of rebirth and regain the right to be reborn. He will have three months to accomplish this task.

“Even though you had enough of life,” the soul whispered into the void of the room, “you were still afraid to hurt your hands, Tobio.”

Afraid of giving himself a scar, if he survived.

He touched his pulse and grasped life and couldn’t help but pity Kageyama Tobio.

"You wanted to die and now I’m here making you live again," he whispered into the night.

(I'm not even exaggerating when I say out of all the fics in this entire goddamn, too long list, this is the fic I'm anticipating and heart eyeing the most. It's only starting, but I already cried on chapter fucking 2, the power of this fic, holy shit. The author also wrote the hq time loop Every Tomorrows series, which I have an undying love for and am full on praying for the day it updates, so you KNOW this fic will be just as good. (Anybody who hasn't read this series, where the hell have you been?? Read it!!) Just, everything about this fic hurts me and something in my chest just aches when I read this fic. Go into it blind with an open heart and I swear to you, it's going to change your life. I'm already calling it. Seriously though, please please read!)

[Crossover]

Learning to Fly by Asteroid_Duck (JustThatOneGirl1815)

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia, Naruto

The number three hero is a walking (well, flying) contradiction in every sense of the word. This includes his teaching skills. Why had Tokoyami agreed to this internship again? Oh right. He’d thought he was actually going to learn something. …….remind him to never be so optimistic again. . . . OR, Kakashi Hatake is reincarnated as the pro hero, Hawks. Tokoyami Fumikage suffers as a result.

(The reincarnation fic I never thought I needed and it's so good!! I've never really paid attention to Tokoyami and this fic sent me headfirst into loving him. Their dynamic is so interesting and I just love how their relationship develops. Also, Kakashi trolling the poor kid made me cackle, it's great! Definitely recommend it!)

Si Vis Pacem by athenoot

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia, John Wick

Everything has a price. That's what John has always known and will forever remember, even in death.

Which is pretty ironic considering his current circumstance.

Instead of a grown, scarred, weary body belonging to a man as cruel and broken as him, he's inhabiting a younger, smaller, unblemished one belonging to a child with strangely colored hair, and is living in what seems to be a superhuman society.

Well. May it never be said that John isn't a strategist. He can live with this. Maybe.

(Somewhere out there in the universe, he's certain he could hear the laughter of his enemies from beyond the grave.)

Or: John Wick is reincarnated as Midoriya Izuku. The world should probably watch its back.

(This should be one of the crackiest fics I've read in a while, but it's taken so seriously and I'm so HERE FOR THIS. John Wick being John Wick in a world of quirks and heroes is the GREATEST, honestly, he's so badass. Bakugou, I feel for you, you must be so fucking confused lol. Bakugou trying his best to be a good friend is one of the best things about this fic. Trust me, this fic will make your day, promise!)

A Girl's Mind is a Dangerous Place by clenastia

Fandoms: Naruto, Fairy Tail

Natsu wakes up in Sakura's body. It only gets worse from there. Also known as: In Which Natsu has No Idea what to do with Boobs.

(I binged this in two fucking days, I couldn't put it down. This fic reminded me why I liked fairy tail when I was younger and why Natsu is honestly such a great protagonist, god. And the fic does that thing, you know, the Thing where when two worlds collide, the characters struggle to acclimate and adapt to a completely another world with different rules and mindsets against their own. This fic is seriously one of the best when it comes to that aspect, it's incredible. I am going absolutely feral over here for this fic to update, I'm waiting in the wings, ready to pounce like a tiger, all the metaphors man. For the love of god, read this fic.)

Give me a landscape made of obstacles by Melise

Fandoms: Naruto, Natsume's Book of Friends

Kakashi Hatake isn’t who he says he is.

Because the truth is that he’s actually a youkai in disguise, a wolf spirit named Madara who stumbled across the Hatake clan during the Warring States Period. Intrigued by the shinobi he saw, he’d proposed a temporary alliance in which he would offer the clan protection in exchange for their teachings.

Decades later, Madara is surprised to find himself inadvertently summoned to Konoha by the last living member of the Hatake clan. Sakumo Hatake, who is mourning the recent deaths of his wife and stillborn child, doesn’t want to be alone anymore. So with his permission, Madara takes the place of Sakumo’s deceased son in order to watch over the last Hatake.

(Fusion in which the youkai of Natsume’s Book of Friends all exist in the Naruto world. No knowledge of Natsume’s Book of Friends required).

(Before this fic, I only had a very vague idea of what Natsume's Book of Friends was, and honestly, I still don't know much about it. But I didn't really need to know to get into this fic. I love the worldbuilding and the relationships Kakashi forms, both supernatural and mortal. I love how Kakashi's inhumane ways affect others around him, whether to stress them out or become used to the strange. You can go straight into this fic without knowing anything and absolutely still have a fantastic time. I definitely recommend this so please read!)

#Fanfiction #AO3 #Fic Rec #Fic Rec List #Naruto #Harry Potter #Boku no Hero Academia #Stranger Things #Knives Out #Haikyuu!!#Crossover #John Wick #Fairy Tail #Natsume's Book of Friends

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chockfullofsecrets · 3 years

Text

D20 Fantasy High: Making Room

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: She grunts, presumably shoving at him and not having much success given Fabian’s triumphant snickering. “I said make room-”

Riz pries himself up off the carpet, thinking of moving to help her, when Fabian lets out a startled squeak. Everyone goes quiet.

Fig leans off the bed with truly devilish glee in her tiefling eyes. “Guys, he’s ticklish.”

The Bad Kids try to plan a sleepover, Fabian needs to learn how to share, and Riz is maybe starting to get the hang of this whole friendship thing.

Wordcount: 2.1k

A/N: not to be entirely into D&D on main, but - hey, look, it’s another cool D&D campaign XD shoutout to @hypahticklish for expressing enough interest in this fic to make me want to write it <3

Loose spoilers for the end of Fantasy High Season 1, beware!

---

Riz thinks he’s really starting to get a handle on this whole friendship thing.

Solving a mystery and getting thrown in jail and killing a dragon together aren’t exactly reproducible results, which kind of sucks, but - hey, the six of them are friends now, and they’re hanging out in Fabian’s room on a summer evening, and it’s novel enough to feel like a solved case all on its own.

What’s less satisfying is the amount of missed work they have to catch up on if they want to start as sophomores next year; no one bothered to worry about bringing them homework while they were in actual prison, but all their professors sure seem to care about it now. He gets the feeling that at least part of it is Aguefort trying to keep some degree of respectability after everything that happened with Goldenhoard, but any attempt to reason with him thus far has gotten nowhere but wild-eyed stares and increasingly obtuse lectures on chronomancy and time management. And sure, Riz prides himself on being able to untangle obscure information, but he’s not touching that with a ten foot pole.

They’re all sprawled out on Fabian’s floor, working through assignments with varying levels of fervor ranging from Adaine - actually working with a stack of textbooks nearly up to her shoulder next to her on Fabian’s desk - to Kristen - texting Tracker with a lack of stealth that makes Riz want to grind his teeth a little, even more so than the way she goes bright red and giggles every time her crystal pings - when Fig groans and rolls onto her back.

“You know what?” she says to the room at large, throwing her arms wide. Her hand knocks into her bard notebook, somehow both dusty with disuse and covered in scribbled ballpoint pen sigils. She flips it neatly in the air and elbows it away in Adaine’s direction, earning a half-annoyed yelp. “We should have a sleepover.”

Half of them blink uncomprehendingly, but Kristen drops her crystal in a sudden rush of excitement. “YES,” she shouts. Gorgug, propped against the wall next to her and dozing off over barbarian meditation manuals, startles. “I can show you guys so many cool camp things! We just need a bunch of different colors of yarn and some sticks and - yeah, we can probably skip the holy water to keep the sinners away-”

Riz has - he’s had sleepovers before, if Penny coming over to babysit and finding him crashed out on the couch after a night of reading old case files from his mom counts. He reaches up and straightens his cap, trying to make it look smooth. “Hey, Fabian, do you have coffee here?”

“Wait, wait, hold on a minute.” Fabian, sitting against his giant bed, waves dramatically for all their attention. He looks them over once he gets it, self-importantly adjusting his eyepatch. “Yes, The Ball, we have coffee, we’re not peasants - but sleep over where? Did I miss that part?”

“Uh, here?” Fig says, flinging herself upright. “You’re mom’s super hot - uh, cool, I bet she’d let us do anything.”

“Stop calling my mom hot!” Fabian yelps, glowering for a moment before his chest puffs with familial pride. “Well, we do have at least five guest bedrooms that we could house all of you in-”

“Oh, I don’t need a bed,” Gorgug says hastily. “I’d probably break it, I can just sleep on the floor.”

“Yeah, Fabian, no,” Kristen interjects, gesturing with her staff. Gorgug scrambles to remove the cups they’ve been drinking soda out of from her path. “We’re all supposed to hang out in the same room, that’s kind of the point!” She frowns a little, zeroing in on him. “Have you. Have you never been to a sleepover before?”

Riz hasn’t quite gotten around to making a conspiracy board of how all the specific issues of their messed up childhoods overlap, but he can read the way Fabian startles indignantly loud and clear. “Of - of course I have!” he blusters. “I just - why the fuck would you share a bed if you didn’t have to?”

Adaine scoffs. “Fabian, your bed is enormous, I think we could all fit on it with room for the Hangman left over.”

“No, it’s not!” Fabian scrambles up, chin still raised haughtily, and throws himself bodily on the bed - judging from the way his ankles hang off the edge, he’s starfishing out as far as he possibly can. “I’m - see, I’m a growing boy, I need my space! Cathilda says so.”

Adaine, having claimed the only chair in the room and therefore being the only one at eye level with the mattress, cranes her neck and laughs. “Fabian, you’re covering less than half of the bed. You can just say you’ve never been to a sleepover before, you know.”

Fig stands up and launches herself onto the bed too, landing heavily with the zippers on her leather jacket clanking behind her. “Yeah, you just have to - oof - make room-”

She grunts, presumably shoving at him and not having much success given Fabian’s triumphant snickering. “I said make room-”

Riz pries himself up off the carpet, thinking of moving to help her, when Fabian lets out a startled squeak. Everyone goes quiet.

Fig leans off the bed with truly devilish glee in her tiefling eyes. “Guys, he’s ticklish.”

The room erupts into chaos - Fabian shouting denials, Fig cackling evilly, and Kristen shooting up and banging her shins against the bed before scrambling around to Fabian’s other side. Riz hops up on the desk next to Adaine just in time to watch each of the other girls seize his outstretched arms and start to mercilessly tickle his armpits.

“GAHAHA - no, no, stoHOP-” Fabian flails helplessly between the two of them, still trying to sprawl out over the bed. He manages to wrench his arm free from Fig and shove her away even as he shouts with laughter. “Seacasters are not - ahaaa, haaAA - I’m not ticklish!”

“Oh, yeah?” Kristen taunts. “Then why are you laughing, you - ohshit-”

They’re trying to wrestle him down, but he’s too strong for Fig and too dextrous for Kristen. She lunges for him, red hair flying behind her, and falls straight into his lap.

Fabian catches both of Fig’s wrists in one big hand and uses the other to poke triumphantly at Kristen’s belly, sending her into a fit of cackling giggles. “Aha!” he exclaims triumphantly, struggling into a sitting position. “A Seacaster cannot simply be rousted from his territory!”

All of them know better than to say anything about his dad by now. “Gorgug, come help us hold him down!” Fig demands instead, kicking at Fabian with her platform boots and making him yelp in pain.

Gorgug pulls his headphones all the way off his ears and straightens just enough to take in the tangle of the three of them, looking dubious. “Are you sure? That sounds kind of mean.”

“It’s not a problem if he’s not ticklish, right, Fabian?,” Fig retorts. “And he’s breaking sleepover code by hogging the bed!"

Kristen, still laughing uproariously as she fails to save herself from Fabian’s tickling fingers, somehow manages to shoot Gorgug a pair of finger guns. “Get him, Gorgug!”

Gorgug still looks a little confused - Riz can relate - but he gamely climbs to his feet. “Well, okay.”

He pauses to knock gently on the bedframe, sighing in relief at the heavy thunk that echoes back. “Oh, cool, that’s pretty strong.”

Fig yelps as Fabian lets up on Kristen and starts prodding at her belly instead. “Gorgug, come on!”

“Oh, right,” Gorgug says, and sends the mattress an entire inch to the left as he scrambles on.

“Hell yeah!” Fig cheers as Gorgug climbs on the bed and sweeps Fabian up in a restraining hug. “Sig Figs solidarity!”

Kristen squirms out from between the three of them. “Hey, I’m here too!”

She flops down with a breathy sigh and hugs herself, grinning widely as she catches sight of the identical what-the-fuck expressions that Riz is pretty sure he and Adaine are wearing. “Ugh, I haven’t been tickled in forever.”

Adaine makes a considering sound as Kristen twists back to the battle royale happening behind her. Riz looks over at her, catches one of her ears twitching under the attention before she looks back. “I don’t think I’ve ever been tickled,” she murmurs, a little shy.

Penny’s tickled him before, and maybe his mom when he was little, but yeah, it’s been a while. He shrugs. “You think you’d like it?”

There’s another cry from the bed, and both of them whip around to look. Fig’s looming over a thoroughly trapped Fabian now - just barely, even with her horns - and wriggling her fingers evilly with gleaming eyes. “Are you going to say you’re sorry for breaking sleepover code?”

“There’s - there’s no sleepover code,” Fabian sputters, but he’s grinning sheepishly even as he squirms against Gorgug’s hold. “Gorgug, man, come on, you can’t just betray a fellow member of the Bloodrush team like this!”

“Oh - uh -” Gorgug looks pleadingly at the both of them. “But I’m in the Sig Figs too - does that mean one of you guys is going to be mad at me?”

Fabian barely blinks. “Yes.”

“YES,” says Fig, even louder.

“Oh, come on, you two.” Kristen sits up between Fig and Fabian, poking at both of their sides and cutting their protests off as they suck their lower lips between their teeth with identical wide-eyed looks. Then, with a curious tilt to her head, she reaches around to tickle Gorgug’s side too, grinning as he squeaks. “There are no sides in a tickle fight, everyone knows this.”

Riz forgets that Kristen has three little brothers, sometimes. It’s easy to, until she starts playing peacekeeper between the rest of them.

“Where are all these rules coming from?” Fabian questions indignantly. Adaine makes a sound of agreement next to Riz - is she writing these down?

Oh, who’s he kidding, he’s probably going to ask her for a copy afterwards.

Fig smirks. “Well, I think the person with their hands free should get to enforce the rules. Like so.” She reaches for the thin tank top Fabian’s wearing and scribbles her fingers over his belly, crowing in delight as he shrieks. “Not ticklish, huh? Who’s ticklish now, bitch?”

“You - ahaha, haaa, fuck - anyone’s ticklish when they’re being restrained!” Fabian insists through panicked laughter, wriggling for all he’s worth. Riz squints - maybe it’s just the rogue homework he’s been doing lately, but it looks like Gorgug’s not even holding him that tight.

He shrieks again as Kristen bounces excitedly and reaches for him too. “Nonono, NOHOHO - Kristen, ahaha! You said - eheheee, stop - you said no sihihides!”

“These are your hips, Fabian. And no sides doesn’t mean you can’t gang up on people,” Kristen sticks her tongue out in concentration, squeezing at one of his hips and then the other. “Hey, say you’re ticklish.”

“What? No - hahaha - shit, shiHIHIT-” Fabian starts to really thrash under their teasing - Riz catches him elbowing Gorgug neatly in the gut, but their barbarian absorbs the blow like it’s nothing. Riz tries not to feel jealous and doesn’t entirely succeed.

Kristen smiles beatifically from cheek to freckled cheek. “The truth’ll set you free, brother.”

Fabian shakes his head frantically, catching sight of Riz and Adaine by his desk through teary eyes. “The Ball - The Ball, help me, this isn’t - ahahaha, nonoplease - it’s not fair!” he pleads through the widest smile Riz has seen on him so far, which is saying something. “Don’t you care about justice?”

Fig looks over at them too, now, hair slipping from her braid and fangs on full display as she beams. “Yeah, you two, get over here or you’re next! You’re missing out on the sleepover fun!”

“Oh,” Adaine says uncertainly. “I didn’t know this was part of it.”

She looks over at Riz - not that he knows any better, but he’s absolutely not going to cop to it. “Oh, yeah, tickle fights,” he blusters. “Definitely part of sleepovers. To, uh, tire everyone out.”

Adaine looks out of the window at blue skies just barely starting to blush pink and gets a small, quiet grin on her face that he can’t help but return. “Oh, okay,” she says. “Riz, are you ticklish?”

Oh. Oh, no.

Riz stiffens. It doesn’t seem like anyone else has heard Adaine’s question, maybe he can get under the bed before any of them notice -

He. He could, is the thing, he’s an awesome rogue, but - out here seems pretty fun too. “That’s more of a hands-on investigation thing,” he shoots back, and leaps for the bed before she can catch hold of him.

He is, after all, an investigator first and foremost, and there’s more room to be made on that mattress.

#tickling #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #fabian seacaster #figueroth faeth #kristen applebees #adaine abernant #gorgug thistlespring #chocfic #i really don't know why i decided to start with writing all six of them but uhhhh i hope the characterization is okay?

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sushigal007 · 2 years

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Back to Doctor Who! And tonight we're moving on to the my favourite of the NuWho Doctors, the Eleventh Doctor. I've also cracked open a bottle of vino and the Lebkuchen biscuits, so there's a fair chance this review might get progressively unhinged as I work my way through those. In a good way, I hope.

So, A Christmas Carol. That's a promising title, not that you'd guess from the opening scene, which features a crashing spaceship. The crew are desperately trying to get control of things when they spot that a distress signal's been sent from the honeymoon suite and Amy appears in her police kissogram outfit to let them know she's called for help. Then Rory stumbles in in his Roman centurion outfit. Seems they like a little cosplay in the bedroom. XD

The TARDIS appears in front of them with a message: Come along Pond. The crew asks what that means? It means it's Christmas.

Credits!

We head down to the planet below. There's a big building letting out a spire of light, but other than that, the overall aesthetic is once again Victorian Christmas. A voice-over tells us that pretty much every planet with people on will hold some sort of celebration on the winter solstice to celebrate making it halfway out of the dark. On Earth, that would be Christmas. On this planet, the first settlers called it the Crystal Feast. Then we zoom in on our voice-over guy as he tells us he considers it people wanting something for nothing.

Turns out Kazran Sardick, our Scroogy VO guy, isn't talking to us at all, he's talking to a family who beg him to let 'her' out for one day, just for Christmas. Our girl's snoozing in a freezer and doesn't respond when Scroogdick knocks on the glass and jokes. But the sticky is, her family owes 4500 gideons and he's not letting her out until they pay up. And while the family are arguing with him, Scroogdick gets a phone call from the president about that ship. If he doesn't let them land, it'll crash. Which is kind of landing, he points out. His staff let him know there's 4000 lifeforms on board. Scroogdick laughs and says not if they wait a bit. He takes the phone and tells the president there's already too many people as it is, but the family are distracted by the sound of the TARDIS incoming.

And then Eleven falls out of the chimney. He cheerfully admits that he was on the roof on Christmas Eve, saw the chimney and couldn't resist, which is entirely understandable. He takes a moment to brag to the kids about knowing Santa before heading over to the big flashy light thing, talking all the while. The light controls the clouds, which are made of ice. He spots the frozen girl and asks who she is. Scroogdick says nobody important and the Doctor gets serious. Then he turns back to the console, still talking, before admitting that he's rambling because the machine isn't working.

Which is when Scroogdick informs him that the controls are isomorphic and will only respond to him. Hmm. That's a bummer, because as we've just seen, this guy is a bona-fide asshole and really does not care that a bunch of people will die without his help. The Doctor says he doesn't have to let that happen. Scroogdick says he's going to. It is, sadly, a very realistic scene. As the family are being led away, Scroogdick asks for funny poor people next time, which is when the youngest boy picks up the piece of coal that landed at his feet when the Doctor fell out of the fireplace, and lobs it, hitting Scroogdick right on the head. Scroogdick storms forward, arm raised... and then stops himself.

It is literally the only halfway decent thing he's done since he appeared on-screen and the Doctor is intrigued. He does a quick Sherlock scan of the room and deduces that Scroogdick doesn't want to be like his father. And also that there's a notable lack of Christmas decorations in this house, despite it being Christmas Eve.

The Doctor leaves and gets Amy on comms to let her know, good news, there's a machine that could fix their problems pretty much instantly. Bad news, it only works for a man who hates him. While he's chatting, one of the family thanks him for standing up to Scroogdick and tells him he'd better head inside, there's a fish warning.

Wait, what?

The Doctor is as confused as the rest of us until he looks up and sees fish flying around a lamppost. It's a cute little reminder that despite the Victorian aesthetic, this isn't Earth. Then a Christmas carol starts playing from loudspeakers. Amy can't hear what he's saying and asks what the singing is. The Doctor replies, a Christmas carol. She still can't hear, he repeats himself-

And you can almost see the lightbulb above his head. He slowly turn back to face the light in the sky and ominously wishes a Merry Christmas to the local Christmas-hating capitalist moneylender.

Inside, Scroogdick is playing old home movies while he snoozes and we get a glimpse of what life was like for him as a child, living with Daddy Scroogdick (unpleasant). We also hear that the fish like singing. This will be important later. And then Daddy Scroogdick hits young Kazran.

Then the Doctor shows up. Oh, HE was the one who put the movie on. And also all of Scroogdick's staff won the lottery and quit, good for them. Scroogdick says there is no lottery.

Scroogdick asks who the Doctor is. The Doctor tells him that tonight, he's the Ghost of Christmas Past. Scroogdick watches the video some more and tells the Doctor he cried all night and learned a valuable lesson: nobody comes.

Except then on the video, young Kazran looks up and turns around to see the TARDIS materialise behind him. He's Kazran's new babysitter! What happened to the old one? She won the lottery! Young Kazran informs him that there is no lottery. I love it. The Doctor leans in and address the camera directly, where Scroogdick is still watching, utterly baffled. He says that never happened... and then his memories start changing and he realises it did.

Back in Scroogdick's past, the Doctor bounces around Kazran's bedroom and chats a lot to put Kazran at ease or maybe just to distract him, until he gets to the point - fish.

They set the sonic screwdriver up as a lure while Kazran tells us more about the fish. A whole shoal broke through the nets once and now everyone talks about the fish, but he missed it.

And then we see a fish! It's adorable! The Doctor says a little pseudoscience explanation but I do not care at all, it's a flying fish!

And then it gets eaten by a shark... as does the sonic screwdriver, oops. The shark attacks and gets it's face stuck in the doorway, and the Doctor hypothesises that he might be able to get his screwdriver back.

Scene change! He did manage to get half of the screwdriver back, but the other half is still inside the shark, which doesn't seem to be coping very well outside of the cloud layer. Kazran asks if they can save her, they were only supposed to stun her, not kill her, she only attacked because she was hungry. The Doctor says he'd need some sort of life support to get her through the trip, so Kazran leads him to the people freezers. But they can't get in without a code, which Kazran won't know until he's older. The Doctor pops forward just in time to hear Scroogdick yelling it at the video and pops back, excellent use of time travel.

Kazran says the freezers are all full, but they could borrow one, and stops in front of the same girl from earlier. There's a recording on her freezer that tells us her name is Abigail and she loves the fish.

The Doctor asks about the people. Daddy Scroogdick is a moneylender who takes people as collateral. You can kinda see why Kazran grew up to be the way he is. Then the sonic screwdriver starts signalling to the other half of itself, which of course, is inside the shark. They run. Somehow, in the chaos, Abigail gets released and starts singing, which calms the shark down so she can pet it. This will also be important later. The Doctor tries to pseudoscience the singing, but the fish keep biting him, and Kazran sternly tells him that the fish just like the singing, lol. Even so, it does kind of make sense, if singers can hit frequencies that shatter glass, I can believe they can sing at frequencies that affect the ice crystals in the clouds, so what a good thing for them that Abigail is Katherine Jenkins.

We get a quick glimpse of Scroogdick. The portrait of his horrible daddy is now one of Abigail. The change in his memories is already starting to take effect.

Abigail and Kazran take a trip in the TARDIS up to the cloud layer and watch the fish swimming and it's gorgeous. Young Kazran takes photos. Scroogdick looks at them in the future.

Abigail's freezer has a number on it. It's nothing to do with the fish. She asks if the Doctor is one of her doctors, the Doctor asks is she needs one. But then he gets distracted by an alarm. It's almost Christmas Day! They put Abigail back in her freezer, which is when Kazran tells her the Doctor visits every Christmas Eve, pinkie promise.

So that's what the Doctor does. The number counts down, unseen.

They use the Doctor's half of the sonic screwdriver to summon the shark and go for a sleigh ride. It's ridiculous and I LOVE IT.

Scroogdick looks back through all his old photos, marvelling at his new memories.

A few more Christmas Eves. Abigail greets the Doctor each time. Somehow, he fails to notice that her freezer is counting down.

Next Christmas Eve! The freezer opens and oh, hello, Kazran is all grown up! Abigail asks if this year, they can go and see her family. She watches through the window, silently crying. Kazran goes to cheer her up. Abigail ominously says this is a life she can never have. But then the curtain draws back and the Doctor invites them in.

Abigail and her sister talk. Abigail refuses to stay for Christmas Day. So her sister stands up and announces they're having Christmas dinner right now. And the camera lowers below the table to show us Kazran and Abigail holding hands.

Back to the freezer. Kazran panics that Abigail might kiss him. The Doctor reassures him and tells him it's either this or go back to his room and invent a new screwdriver and I'm not saying the Doctor invented the sonic screwdriver because he was too chicken to kiss Jamie, but I am saying that the sonic screwdriver made its first appearance in Fury From The Deep and it was either him or Victoria and his relationship with Victoria was a lot more fatherly and involved a lot less groping and clinging and hand holding so maybe I am saying that after all.

Abigail and Kazran kiss. It's very sweet.

Scroogdick looks through his photos some more. They squeezed a lot of travel into those Christmas Eves.

Next Christmas Eve. Abigail has something bad to tell Kazran.

The Doctor appears. He accidentally got engaged. Kazran and Abigail are too busy snogging to care. The Doctor stomps off to get married out of spite and it's hilariously childish.

Abigail goes back to the freezer. Kazran stares into the glass at her and tells the Doctor these Christmas Eve visits are getting a bit old, maybe they should skip it. The Doctor is confused. He gives Kazran his half of the sonic screwdriver but Kazran says he won't need it. The Doctor asks about Abigail. Kazran knows where to find her. The Doctor is still clueless, but the camera shows us the numbers on her freezer are down to one. That, plus the mention of doctors, makes it pretty clear that Abigail was dying when she volunteered to be frozen and her time has just about run out.

Scroogdick looks over his shoulder. The portrait has turned back into the one of his father.

Daddy Scroogdick shows off his new fish controlling machine that they can use to keep the population in line. Kazran excuses himself and goes to get the sonic screwdriver. When he turns around, the Doctor is at the window. But he jumped the gun too soon, nobody wants to be predictable, and Kazran closes the curtains on him.

In the future, we see that Scroogdick has kept the sonic. The phone rings. He still doesn't care about the spaceship. Life isn't fair.

And then Amy appears! She's the Ghost of Christmas Present. Scroogdick hears singing and when he heads down to the freezer, he finds holograms of the people on the ship. Amy tells him the Doctor was trying to make him nicer. Kazran doesn't appreciate being rewritten, which, OK, fair, but also he was an asshole, so I don't care that much. He tells Amy he never would've known Abigail if the Doctor hadn't interfered with his life. Amy asks why he hasn't let her out. Scroogdick tells her why. She'd only live a single day and how could he choose which one? Amy points out that she's got longer than anyone on the ship, and then she shows him the ship.

Rory explains that the people are singing because the Doctor thought it might help with the ice clouds, but it isn't working. Amy explains that they're still singing because well, they haven't told them that bit. The captain begs Scroogdick to let them land, that nobody has to die. Scroogdick counters that everybody has to die. She says it doesn't have to be tonight. He says tonight's as good as any other.

The hologram disappears and the Doctor apologises. He didn't know about Abigail. The Doctor then tells him he's not done, he's shown Scroogdick the past and the present, now it's time for the future. Scroogdick mocks him. He already knows he's going to be alone and afraid, showing him won't make a difference. He's going to let the ship crash simply because he doesn't care.

He taunts the Doctor and tells him to go ahead and show him the future.

The Doctor tells him he already is. And then he looks over Scroogdick's shoulder... at little twelve year-old Kazran... who mistakes him for his father, the very thing he didn't want to be.

The two Kazrans hug and somehow time does not get eaten by giant bats and neither of them lose their memories but I really don't care, this show has destroyed Atlantis three times, Kazran can have little a hug, as a treat. It's Christmas.

Scroogdick is going to let the ship land! ...Except now the controls won't work. Kazran is too nice now. Kazran offers the half of the sonic screwdriver, which is when the Doctor remembers oh yeah, there's still half in the shark. They can send up a signal! Something they know works!

They need Abigail to sing.

Abigail is unfrozen and she still loves Kazran, aww.

And now for some extremely self-indulgent singing, but then, if you're going to hire the most successful opera singer in the world onto your show, of course you're going to give her a song.

The crew can land! They can even land well!

Amy and Rory kiss, aww.

Everybody goes outside to hear the music and play in the snow.

Rory and Amy show up. Rory has lost their luggage, so they're stuck in their kinky sex clothes for now, oops. The Doctor has been building many snowmen. Rory lets him know Marilyn's on the phone. And overhead, Kazran and Abigail fly past on their shark-drawn open sleigh.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I love this. I love everything about it. It's not a Doctor Who story with Christmas in it, it's a Christmas story with Doctor Who in it. And not just any Christmas story, but the story that pretty much set the template for modern Christmas celebrations as we know it. The parallels are not remotely subtle, but they're not supposed to be, we see the exact moment where the Doctor is inspired to have Kazran Sardick visited by his own three ghosts. It doesn’t make the mistake some adaptations have of thinking their Scrooge’s problem is hating Christmas, Sardick’s problem is that cares more about money than human life, it being Christmas is just a coincidence that the Doctor exploits hard. And the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come? Absolute genius twist. At no moment do you forget that this is a Christmas special.

It's also just a good story. Sure, bits of it are a little silly and indulgent, but hey, it's Christmas, and they don't detract from the story. Like, there's absolutely no reason the planet has a Victorian aesthetic other than to look Christmassy, and that's fine. The fish stuff is weird, but it also manages to make sense. And we have a happy ending in which everybody lives for now. And while Abigail will die, she's going to do it after a solid eight days of Christmas Eves and she's going to die happy and loved and singing with fish. That's like, a Sims 2 death with hula zombies, you can't get better.

Best one so far. Might be the best one of all.

#nonsims #doctor who #eleventh doctor #amy pond #Rory Williams #sushi's christmas doctor who rewatch #a christmas carol

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emospritelet · 3 years

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Key to the Cell - chapter 18/18

Last time, Belle and Rumple plotted with the fairies to confront Blue and take the magic bean she was holding so that they could travel to the Land Without Magic. Here's what happened next

Special thanks to @woodelf68 for her many suggestions as to what Gaston's fate should be XD

[AO3]

Belle had settled herself in one of the chairs in Rumplestiltskin’s tower workroom, watching him brew his potions and tinker with small, silver trinkets. She tried to stay awake, but found her eyes closing, and woke what seemed like moments later to his hand on her shoulder, a fond look on his face.

“It’s almost dawn,” he said quietly. “We should return to the others.”

“I only closed my eyes for a moment,” she said, yawning, and he chuckled.

“Yes, hours ago. It’s good that you got some rest. With any luck this will be an eventful day.”

Belle pushed upright, stretching to work out the stiffness in her limbs. Rumplestiltskin had returned to the workbench, and was putting bottles of coloured liquid and items in brass and silver into a leather bag.

“What have you enchanted?” she asked, interested, and he glanced up.

“I have some locator spells, several items with reservoirs of magic, protection amulets…”

“Shouldn’t we pack some clothing, too?” she asked, and he grinned.

“The packs are already in the library,” he said. “I presumed you would want more breeches.”

“You presume correctly, these are really comfortable.” She stretched again, yawning as she pushed her fists towards the ceiling. “What about gold? I suppose we’ll need some sort of money in this new land.”

“I’ve packed some of that, too.”

“What do you know about the Land Without Magic?” she asked, and he pulled a face.

“Precious little,” he admitted. “I gathered as much information as I could about other lands, and the records of the travellers that went there, but given how difficult it is to travel to lands without magic, I wasn’t surprised when my search turned up almost nothing. Perhaps no one managed to reach it. Perhaps they did, and couldn’t return.”

“And you’re certain he’s there?” she asked.

“Yes.” He said it simply, as though there was no question in his mind. “Yes, I’m certain. He’s there, and I’ll find him."

Belle nodded, waking slowly around the room and listening to the click of her boot heels against the floor. Dawn was just starting to lighten the sky at the horizon, and she could feel nerves start to swell inside her. We will win this fight. We must.

“How are we going to stop the Blue Fairy and Gaston?” she asked. “I know the fairies have agreed that banishing her is the best way to go, but she’s still powerful, and we still have to be able to banish her before she can either escape or - or cast a spell on us all.”

“I’m leaving it to the fairies to decide how to handle one of their own,” he replied. “Any solution I come up with will, I suspect, be rather lethal.”

“I very much doubt they’ll kill her,” she agreed, and he grunted,

“Can’t have everything, I suppose.”

“What about Gaston?” she asked. “He may be a big-headed brute, but he’s not entirely stupid.”

Rumplestiltskin gave her a secretive little smile.

“Something tells me he will bring about his own demise,” he said.

“I’d still like to give him a chance to be a decent person,” she said. “I very much doubt he’ll take it, but you never know.”

“I assure you I do,” he remarked. “Do you still have the book you cast that spell on?”

“It’s in the library,” she said. “Wait, didn’t you cast a spell on it, too?”

“I didn’t cast a different spell, I merely - tweaked yours,” he said. “Make sure you have it with you.”

“The spell was only for defensive purposes,” she said.

“And so it remains,” he said lightly. “Providing he doesn’t attack us, he’ll be fine.”

Belle snorted under her breath, and Rumplestiltskin chuckled. She dismissed thoughts of Gaston; Rumplestiltskin was right, it was likely he would attack them, and therefore would seal his own fate.

“Do we have a way back to this land?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. “Travelling to a magical realm is far easier than to one without magic. I have a way back for us, if we choose to take it.”

“You’ve thought of everything.”

“I’ve certainly tried to,” he said, looking weary. “It’s hard to know what we will face in this new land. How do people manage without magic anyway?”

“I’ve managed almost my whole life,” she said. “As did you, before you became the Dark One.”

He grunted at that, fastening the straps of the leather bag.

“Yes, and a more wretched creature would have been hard to find.”

Belle reached out to put her hand over his, feeling his body almost humming with tension. He glanced up at her, and she smiled, squeezing his hand.

“I don’t believe you were anywhere near as wretched as you say,” she said. “From what you tell me, you were a desperate father who loved his son and tried to do your best to protect him. No matter how poor you may have been, that in itself shows you have more heart and more courage than any of the nobles who sent children to war.”

He gave her a sad smile, and shrugged.

“Whatever courage I had—and believe me it was little enough—deserted me when it came down to it, though,” he said quietly. “I let Bae go because I was afraid. How much must he have gone through, alone, because of that. How he must hate me.”

His voice had faded to a whisper, and Belle shook her head.

“He may be very angry,” she agreed. “But anger and hate are not the same thing. If he gives you the chance to apologise and explain, I’m sure you can make it right again. It just might take some time.”

Rumplestiltskin gave her another sad smile, as though he doubted it.

“And even if it takes years,” she went on. “We shall have a whole new land to explore. Imagine how much we shall learn!”

“Little of use to your studies as my apprentice,” he remarked.

“Perhaps not,” she conceded. “But there are other things you can teach me, I’m sure.”

He looked up sharply, and she gave him a coy smile that made him swallow hard.

“No doubt there are things we can teach each other,” she added. He returned the smile briefly, and then glanced away, his expression uncertain.

“I - uh - I shall look different, you know,” he said. “In this new land.”

Belle blinked.

“You will?”

“Without the curse,” he said. “Without magic, I shall appear as I once did.”

“You’ll look - like an ordinary man?”

“Indeed.” His tone was dry. “I’m not sure whether you will think that better or worse.”

Belle raised her chin.

“I think you’re very handsome,” she said. “I’m sure I shall continue to think so. Whether covered in these little golden scales or without.”

He chuffed at that.

“A very strange girl,” he muttered.

“I suspect you’ll look just as good in leather trousers,” she added, and he barked a laugh before gloom seemed to flow over him once more.

“It’s not only my face,” he said. “Before the curse, I was lame. An injury to my right leg. I healed it with magic, but before the Dark Curse, I couldn’t walk without aid.”

“Oh.” Belle chewed her lip, then brightened. “Well, at least I shan’t worry about slowing you down when we have to walk. We can move at a pace that’s easy for both of us. And I’m sure you can take a - a cane, or a staff of some sort to help you.”

“I have one in the Great Hall,” he said quietly. “It’s the one I used before. It has notches on the length where I used to mark Bae’s height. It works well enough as a walking staff. Perhaps he’ll recognise it.”

His head drooped a little, and Belle reached out to squeeze his hand again.

“It’s going to be fine,” she said softly. “You’ll find him.”

Rumplestiltskin sighed, letting out a heavy breath, and nodded.

“I know.”

He patted one of the bags, and glanced across at her again.

“We’d better get down there,” he said quietly. “It’s time.”

When they reached the library, the fairies were awake and alert, gathered together in a circle and whispering. Rumplestiltskin had collected the staff he needed from the Great Hall, and Belle eyed it curiously as he leaned it against one of the chairs. It was a plain wooden staff, worn smooth where it had been gripped, and notches marked it, scattered along its length from around the halfway point. The record of Baelfire’s height as he grew. It made Belle’s heart clench, and she hoped that her husband would soon be reunited with the son he loved so dearly.

Rumplestiltskin made the pallets and blankets disappear with a flick of his fingers, and the fairies hurried towards him, the dwarfs standing at the edge of the room, hands on axes and stern expressions on their faces.

“It’s almost dawn,” said Nova. “We think Blue will be here soon, and we’ve all agreed what we’re going to do.”

“Do tell,” said Rumplestiltskin, tapping his fingers together.

“We need to take her by surprise and cast a binding spell,” said Tink. “Tiger Lily is the strongest of us, so she’ll cast the spell. The rest of us will cast a net to keep her from disappearing off to the fairy realms. She’ll be trapped until we banish her.”

“We’ll need you to hide us from her sight, though,” added Tiger Lily. “She’ll sense our magic the moment she enters the castle. If she suspects anything, I’m worried she’ll fly off and we’ll lose our chance.”

And we will lose the magic bean, thought Belle. The only chance for Rumple to find Bae. That can’t happen.

“I can shield you from her until it’s time,” agreed Rumplestiltskin.

“We want her to confess to what she’s done,” added Tiger Lily. “It would certainly strengthen our hand when we report back to the Council.”

“And if she doesn’t?” asked Belle.

“If we can recover any other items she took, that would help,” said Nova.

“What about taking the bean from her?” asked Rumplestiltskin. “There’s no deal without using the bean, as I’m sure you recall.”

“We remember the terms of the deal,” said Nova. “The bean will be taken from her, and used for her banishment. She’s taken enough of our treasures, after all.”

The other fairies nodded agreement, murmuring about stolen wands and confiscated artifacts. Rumplestiltskin gave a brisk nod.

“Very well,” he said. “When it’s done, and Lady Belle and I have left, the defences I put up around the Dark Castle will fall into place. I suggest you all leave without delay once we are through the portal. Five minutes should do it, just make sure you’re clear of the gates.”

“Understood,” said Nova. “We have enough dust between us to make a decent portal back to the fairy realms.”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, clapping his hands together.

“Then it’s agreed,” he said. “Let’s see what our intruders are up to, shall we?”

He nodded to Belle, who immediately retrieved the magic mirror and held it up.

“I’d like to see the Blue Fairy, please,” she said.

The image was once more of a tent interior, Gaston pacing back and forth with shoulders hunched and hands clasped behind his back, his red doublet stretched across his wide shoulders and his heavy boots thumping on the ground. The Blue Fairy appeared to have just entered the tent; a brief view of the pinkish horizon broken by dark, craggy mountains showed as the flap closed behind her. Gaston paused in his pacing, turning to face her.

“My men are in position,” he growled. “They’re at the western gate, as you suggested. I don’t see any defenders lining up to keep them out. This should be an easy conquest.”

“The Dark One has no need of soldiers,” she said. “I hope your men are obedient. If they break into the castle grounds before we have subdued the Dark One, we’ll have a massacre on our hands.”

“They’ll wait,” he said curtly. “It seems like all we’ve been doing is waiting. When do we enter the castle? Dawn has come, you said we’d attack at dawn.”

“And so we shall.” Blue lifted her wand. “It’s time. Come, stand near me. I’ll take us into the library. Once we’re inside you must wait there until I return from the fairy realms.”

Gaston shouldered a quiver of arrows and grasped his bow, putting his other hand on the hilt of his sword. The Blue Fairy shook her head.

“You’ll have no need of those weapons,” she said. “The Dark One cannot enter the library. Nor can he be hurt by swords or arrows. Magic is the way to defeat him.”

“A man likes the comfort of hard steel in his hand,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.

“Suit yourself.”

“A warrior knows to prepare himself for all possible outcomes to battle,” he went on. “What if your magic fails you? What if your wand is taken? How will you defend yourself against the creature then?”

Blue smiled sweetly, one hand slipping to her belt in what seemed to be an unconscious motion.

“I suggest you leave those concerns to me, and consider your own part in this,” she said. “Your bride will no doubt be waiting for you. Quickly, now. Take my hand, and I’ll take you inside the castle.”

Belle put down the mirror, glancing at Rumplestiltskin.

“They’re coming,” he announced. “Fairies, dwarfs, stay on that side of the room.”

He waved a hand, and Belle watched as the band of fairies and dwarfs were hidden behind a shimmering curtain of light. It solidified, the light winking out, and she blinked as the room looked empty apart from the two of them. Recalling Rumplestiltskin’s words in the tower, she hurriedly looked around for her enchanted book, spying it on one of the small tables and snatching it up.

“Do you feel it?” he whispered.

She opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but then nodded slowly. A tingling in her skin, a pleasant feeling that spread through her body.

“Light magic,” he breathed. “Be ready.”

She nodded, hugging the book to her chest, and jumped as a portal opened with a flare of blue light, Gaston stumbling a little as he and the Blue Fairy appeared in the centre of the room.

“Well well,” said Rumplestiltskin, in a nasty drawl. “My library has certainly suffered in my absence. Look at the vermin that have slithered inside.”

Blue’s mouth and eyes widened in shock, and he gave her an unpleasant smile.

“Now!” shouted Nova.

There was a flash of red light, knocking Blue’s wand from her hand. Shining ropes in a myriad of colours snaked towards her through the air, wrapping around her and pinning her arms to her sides, and she struggled desperately, a furious look on her face. Gaston had drawn his sword, turning on the spot as though unsure who to attack first, and there was a collective roar from the dwarfs as they barrelled towards him from behind the barrier. He managed to parry the first axe-blow, and the second, but eight against one was only ever going to have one outcome. Grumpy’s axe knocked his sword from his hands and the dwarfs swarmed over him. By the time he was hauled to his feet, the weapons had been stripped from him and he was scowling heavily, blood flowing from a split lip and a heavy red welt over one eye. His brows lowered as he saw Belle by Rumplestiltskin’s side.

“Get away from that beast, you foolish girl!” he snarled, and Rumplestiltskin smirked.

“Careful how you address my wife,” he said, emphasising the words. It made Belle’s heart thump harder.

“Belle is mine!” roared Gaston, struggling against his captors. “We’re betrothed! You will give her back to me, or—”

He cut off, appearing to choke around an invisible gag, and Rumplestiltskin gave him a nasty smile. Gaston’s mouth worked furiously, his face reddening, but Rumplestiltskin had already turned away, focusing his attention on Blue. She had drawn herself up to her full height within the magical bonds, her nostrils flaring with outrage as her eyes flicked between the fairies, as though memorising each face.

“You will all pay dearly for this!” she hissed. “When the Council finds out you aided the Dark One—”

“When the Council finds out you were imprisoning your sisters without even a pretence at a trial, what do you think they’ll say?” asked Tiger Lily coldly. “How many children have been without the guidance of their fairy godmothers in our absence? What damage has been wrought from that loss?”

Her eyes flicked to Rumplestiltskin and away, fixing on Blue.

“You ought to be condemned for that alone,” she said. “Meddling in the affairs of countless generations for your own ends. Pitting fairy against fairy in your quest for control. Not to mention that you’ve been keeping and using magical objects for your own purposes. Search her!”

Blue squawked in outrage as Tink and Nova began searching her belt pouch and the pockets of her dress. The contents were laid out next to her wand on a nearby table. A gilt-edged book, a slim dagger in a pearl-covered sheath, a crystal vial with a stopper in cut sapphire, and a small purse in battered brown leather. Belle watched as Rumplestiltskin’s eyes fixed on it.

“You have no right to do this!” spluttered Blue. “You are interfering in important diplomatic affairs!”

“If you’re referring to Sir Gaston wanting to abduct me and force me into a marriage against my will, I welcome their interference,” said Belle coldly. “This castle belongs to my husband, and to me through my marriage to him. You are not welcome here, either one of you. You are intruders with hostile intent, and the law of the land is clear on what we are entitled to do with you. Be grateful that we have allowed your sisters to decide your fate rather than erect a gibbet in the courtyard.”

Rumplestiltskin eyed her with a look of pride, and she raised her chin, staring down her nose at her would-be captors.

“Do not quote the law of the land to me, you foolish girl!” snapped Blue. “I should think you would be happy to be rescued from a marriage to this - this monster!”

“He’s no monster, you are!” said Belle hotly. “We entered this marriage as equals! He doesn’t see me as property or - or as a pawn to be used. We wish to be left alone to live our lives in peace!”

“Peace with the Dark One?” Blue burst into cold, humourless laughter. “You’re a gullible fool to believe his lies! I see the beast has used that silver tongue of his to excellent effect with you.”

“Well, it is our honeymoon,” said Rumplestiltskin in a drawling tone, and Belle shot him a quelling look before turning back to Blue.

“I don’t care if you think I’m gullible,” she said. “I have always prided myself on looking beyond appearances, and I believe I understand Rumplestiltskin a good deal better than you.”

Blue closed her eyes, inhaling deeply as though trying to calm herself. When she opened her eyes again, she was smiling sweetly. It made Belle’s skin crawl.

“Whatever the Dark One has been telling you about me is untrue, you know,” she said gently. “You must know that dark creatures cannot be trusted. They do not think or feel as you and I do. Their purpose is chaos and destruction. They cannot love.”

“Oh, we can, you know,” said Rumplestiltskin quietly.

“I’m sure that creatures of darkness can love just as well as we can,” said Belle coldly. “The ogres went to war against these lands because Sir Gaston here tortured one of their children. They can feel and think as deeply as we, and those claiming to be creatures of light can just as easily do evil.”

“That’s right, sister!” said Grumpy. “She told me dwarfs can’t love either, that what I felt for Nova was a lie! She’s the liar!”

The Blue Fairy sighed.

“Really, I try my hardest to do the best I can for the good of all, and this is the thanks I get.”

“You imprisoned us,” said Tiger Lily sternly. “From our search of your belongings, I can see that you have the Book of Alanor, which was thought to be lost.”

“I was holding onto it for safekeeping,” said Blue stiffly.

“And this?” Tiger Lily picked up the crystal vial. “What is it?”

Blue pursed her lips, looking away, and Tink took the stopper out of the vial and sniffed cautiously before pulling back and wrinkling her nose.

“It’s dark magic!” she exclaimed. “Ugh! Why carry a potion made with dark magic? And why disguise it like this?”

“Let me see that,” said Rumplestiltskin sharply, and snatched the bottle from her before sniffing in turn. His eyebrows jerked in surprise.

“What is it?” asked Belle.

“It’s poison,” he said, and replaced the stopper in the vial with care, placing it back on the table before stepping back with his hands raised. “A rather deadly poison, I believe. Enquiring minds might wonder where, how and why an alleged creature of light procured such a thing.”

“You don’t get to question me, Dark One!” snapped Blue.

“A stolen book,” said Tiger Lily, her tone clear. “The use of poison created by dark magic. Mass incarceration of innocent fairies...” She opened up the leather pouch, and a bean fell out, gleaming white against the polished wood of the table. “And this. The concealment of a magic bean.”

The fairies exclaimed loudly, as though finding the bean were a surprise to them, and Blue glared around the room.

“I have been holding this bean for important reasons!” she snapped. “The fact that none of the Council saw fit to trust any of you with those reasons is hardly my fault!”

“And the Council will corroborate your story, will they?” asked Tiger Lily. “Those you haven’t been able to bully or browbeat into doing what you want, anyway. If we were to call Nebula here and ask about these important secret reasons, would she be able to confirm that she was fully aware that you had the bean and the Book of Alanor?”

Blue pursed her lips, looking away, and Tiger Lily turned to the other fairies, her expression determined, dark eyes steady and stern.

“We’ve all seen the evidence,” she said. “I believe the Blue Fairy is not fit to lead. What say you?”

“Agreed!” chorused the fairies.

“This is outrageous!” spluttered Blue.

“I believe that the Blue Fairy is a danger to our order,” went on Tiger Lily. “I believe that she should be banished until such time as we can be sure she is no longer a threat. What say you?”

“Agreed!”

“This is a disgrace!” fumed Blue. “When the Council hears of this—”

“All in favour of banishment?” called Tiger Lily.

All the fairies raised their hands, fists in the air. Rumplestiltskin raised both of his and got a level look from Tiger Lily in return.

“Then it is agreed,” she said. “And so we come to the Blue Fairy’s accomplice.”

The Blue Fairy was still talking, uttering threats and making dire predictions about what would happen to the fairies, and Tiger Lily gave an impatient wave of her wand. The noise cut off in an instant, and Blue glared furiously.

“I’ll deal with Sir Gaston,” said Belle.

Tiger Lily bowed her head in acquiescence, stepping back, and Belle glanced at Rumplestiltskin.

“Rumple, could you let him speak?” she asked. “Grumpy, could you and your brother let him up, please? I want to talk to him.”

Rumplestiltskin flicked his fingers, and Gaston coughed several times before scowling at them.

“You sure about this?” asked Grumpy in a gruff tone. “This one looks like he could cause some trouble.”

“Let him up,” repeated Belle. “I want to give him a chance.”

“A chance?” Gaston glared at the dwarfs holding his arms. “I need no chances! Just hand me my sword and fight me one-on-one!”

“You can stand as long as you promise not to try to harm anyone,” said Belle coolly. “Otherwise we can have this conversation with you tied hand and foot. If you stay calm, we’ll think about letting you up.”

“I am calm!” snapped Gaston, scowling, but shrugged. “Fine, have it your way! I swear not to try to harm these - upstart miners.”

“Can we gag him again?” asked one of the dwarfs.

Belle bit her lip, trying not to laugh, and motioned to them to let Gaston go. He straightened up, folding huge arms across his chest and glaring.

“So,” he said. “You take the side of this beast over your own kind!”

“He’s not a beast, he’s my husband,” said Belle coldly.

“Husband!” sneered Gaston. “That marriage could be annulled with the stroke of a pen! The idea that a noblewoman could be held to any promise made to this - this thing - is ridiculous! He’s the Dark One! He’s not human! He didn’t even speak the proper vows! You will return with me and become my wife as was agreed!”

“I can’t marry you when I’m already married!” she said sharply. “Besides, I wouldn’t. Given the choice I’d rather marry one of the ogres than you!”

“They certainly have a more progressive view of female property rights,” remarked Rumplestiltskin.

“I wasn’t talking to you, imp!” snapped Gaston.

“He’s still right, though,” said Belle. “And I have no intention of breaking my marriage vows to my husband over a betrothal that wasn’t even my choice.”

“Plus annulment is out of the question,” added Rumplestiltskin. “We consummated the marriage.”

“Several times,” said Belle lightly.

Gaston’s face was growing redder by the moment, and Belle could sense that he was working himself up to losing his temper in spectacular fashion.

“I will not return with you, Gaston,” she said. “I will not marry you. There is no future that involves you and I and it is ludicrous to think there will be.”

Gaston opened his mouth angrily, but she kept on.

“By breaking into the Dark One’s castle you have made him your enemy,” she said, “and while as his wife I like to think I have some influence, I cannot and will not guarantee your safety. If you value your life you will leave this place and never return.”

“My men are outside,” he said grimly. “Hundreds of them, all armed to the teeth. One word from me and they will storm this castle and kill anyone they find.”

“I could kill them with a flick of my little finger,” said Rumplestiltskin in a bored voice. “You really ought to try threats that have some basis in reality. Takes all the fun out of a slaughter.”

Gaston’s jaw jutted forward as he clenched his fists.

“I am offering you your life,” said Belle clearly. “In return for leaving me and my husband in peace.”

“Those are really very generous terms,” said Rumplestiltskin cheerfully. “Given the chance I’d have pulled your kneecaps off and waved them in front of you.”

Belle wanted to sigh, but kept her attention on Gaston, who was looking as though he had eaten something that disagreed with him.

“Do you agree to our terms?” asked Belle.

“I’m just supposed to put up with the rest of the kingdom laughing at me behind my back for the rest of my days, am I?” he demanded.

“You can always choose death,” said Rumplestiltskin, with a lazy swirl of one hand. “That might be preferable to ridicule to one of your type.”

“Death.” Gaston lowered his head, shoulders slumping. “Sometimes death is the only way to restore honour.”

Belle felt her eyes widen in alarm.

“You don’t need to die,” she said sharply. “There’s no need for violence. Just leave us in peace!”

There was a moment of silence. The air was heavy with tension, and Belle could feel her heart thumping, her skin tingling. Gaston raised his head, eyes gleaming malevolently as he let out a hollow chuckle.

“Oh, I didn’t mean me,” he growled.

Leaping forward, he snatched up the small dagger from the table top and lunged at Belle. Rumplestiltskin stepped in front of her, raising a hand to hurl a spell, but before he could do so there was a flash of purple smoke from the book in her arms and a crackle of energy that made her hair want to stand on end. The sound of a scream made Belle duck, holding the book in front of her like a shield, and only the comforting feel of Rumplestiltskin’s hand on her shoulder made her straighten up and open her eyes.

The smoke was clearing, the fairies and dwarfs clustered together, wide-eyed and clamouring in outrage over the attack on Belle. Gaston had disappeared, the dagger he had snatched falling to the floor with a tinkling sound, and in his place was a sturdy grey donkey. Gaston’s heavy leather belt hung around its neck and it trotted backwards, hooves clattering against the floorboards before it turned in a circle, a bewildered look in its eyes.

“Is - is that Gaston?” asked Belle, and Rumplestiltskin smirked.

“A fitting punishment, wouldn’t you say?” he said, briefly inspecting the palm of his hand before rubbing it on his thigh. “Since he had so little respect for the peasants on his land, I thought he would do well to work for them. Perhaps we can send him to the sister of that maid of yours. Gerta, is it?”

The donkey brayed loudly, ears flattening as it showed large, surprisingly white and even teeth, and Belle hid a smile behind her hand.

“Will - will he always be a donkey?” she asked, and Rumplestiltskin shrugged.

“That’s very much up to him,” he said. “If he has true remorse for his past actions, the spell will lift. If not, I’m afraid he’ll be hauling water and carrying goods to market for the rest of his miserable life.” He leaned close to the donkey. “I can see the future,” he whispered. “Better get used to a bridle.”

He straightened up, and with a flick of his fingers the donkey disappeared in a cloud of red smoke. Rumplestiltskin looked pleased with himself, tapping his fingers together as he turned back to face Blue with an unpleasant grin.

“Now,” he said. “Where were we?”

“You can’t banish me,” said Blue loftily, ignoring Rumplestiltskin as she favoured the fairies with a frosty glare. “None of you has the strength to strip me of my magic, and if you think I’m going to kick my heels in some far-off kingdom while you mess things up for all of fairykind, you’re gravely mistaken.”

Tiger Lily stepped forward, and reached for the magic bean. It gleamed as she held it up, a tiny point of white light, and Blue’s eyes widened in shock.

“You wouldn’t dare!” she breathed.

“Rheul Ghorm,” intoned Tiger Lily. “From this moment forth you are banished from the Enchanted Forest.”

“Don’t do this!” snapped Blue. “It’s what the Dark One wants, can’t you see that? He’s played you all for fools! I’m the only one who can stand against him!”

“I hope you take time to reflect on the harm you have done and the pain you have caused,” went on Tiger Lily, as though she hadn’t spoken, “and that you use this opportunity to build a new and better life.”

“Try to be nicer,” added Nova.

“I will return, you mark my words!” said Blue heatedly. “I will return, and when I do, you will all pay for this!”

“Rumplestiltskin,” said Tiger Lily, turning to him and holding out the bean. “I believe this concludes our deal.”

She dropped the bean into his palm, and Rumplestiltskin grinned widely. He nodded to Belle, who hurriedly grabbed the packs he had stowed. Holding up a hand, he gestured towards his staff, and it wobbled against the chair before slamming into his palm. Rumplestiltskin held up the bean and closed his eyes. Belle could see his lips moving, as though he was whispering a prayer. Or a promise. She edged closer to him, closing her eyes in turn, and willed the magic to take them to his son. Lead us to Baelfire. Let us find him.

She felt rather than heard the portal open, a wave of pressure that washed over her and stole the breath from her lungs. Her eyes flew open as a ripple of green energy burst outwards, a dark hollow at its centre, a churning whirlpool of magic. Blue was staring at the portal in horror, and seemed to say something, but it was snatched away in the tumult. She was trying to edge away from it, but Rumplestiltskin picked up a foot and shoved at the small of her back, and she disappeared into the void with a fading scream. Rumplestiltskin turned to Belle, taking one of the packs from her and shouldering it before grasping her hand. His smile was tremulous, fear and anxiety and rising hope, and she smiled back, squeezing his hand.

“Let’s go and find Baelfire,” she said.

He nodded, and turned back to the portal, seeming to steel himself before taking a step. Belle closed her eyes, foot lifting to follow him, and felt her body seized by an immense force as she was dragged from the castle into the void.

Before she had time to process how it felt to be inside a magical whirlpool, she hit what seemed like hard earth with a thump. Winded, she rolled onto her back, wriggling her left arm to dislodge the pack, and stared up at the sky as she tried to catch her breath. It was dark, and the stars were shining, pinpricks against darkest blue beyond a stream of blue and purple that stretched across the sky, scattered with countless points of light, thousands of stars. Stars she had never seen before. It was breathtakingly beautiful. She realised it was cold, too, bitterly so, and the ground beneath her hands was wet and soft. There was a familiar scent in the air, pine resin and leaf mulch. They were in a forest.

“Belle?”

Relief flooded over her at the sound of Rumplestiltskin’s voice, that low voice he used when they were intimate, when it was just the two of them.

“Fuck!” he growled, and that made her push up on her elbows.

She was lying on the ground in the midst of a forest, thick pine needles and leaf litter having cushioned her fall somewhat. There was snow on the ground, adding a wan, bluish light to the scene, but there was no moon. Perhaps this world didn’t have a moon. Rumplestiltskin was a hunched figure kneeling next to her, amongst the black trunks of what looked like fir trees. It was too dark to see his face.

“Keep forgetting I can’t use bloody magic!” he grumbled. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” she said. “Is this it? Are we here?”

He pushed up onto his knees, looking around.

“Well, we’re certainly in the Land Without Magic,” he said dryly. “In the woods. By some sort of road, if I’m not mistaken. Let’s have a look, shall we?”

He held out a hand, and made to rise before crying out and falling to the floor again.

“What is it?” asked Belle anxiously, and he shook his head.

“Forgot about my bloody leg, too,” he said. “No matter, that’s what the staff is for.”

He managed to get the staff into position and pushed to his feet, but he was limping badly, and Belle thought he might do better with a shorter cane, as her late uncle had once used.

“Perhaps we should rest,” she said. “We could make a fire.”

“Let’s just get to the road and see what we can see,” he said. “It’s only beyond the trees.”

It sounded as though he was grimacing, and Belle hoped that wherever they were in this new land, it wasn’t too far from a town. The trees cleared, and they stepped onto the edge of a well-maintained road. Belle bent to touch it curiously. Its surface was hard and relatively smooth compared to the ground beside it, but it wasn’t paved or cobbled, and it wasn’t simply packed earth. It stretched away into the distance, winding through the trees to the right as though the forest went on forever. To the left, a sign was standing at the side of the road: Welcome to Storybrooke, it read.

Rumplestiltskin and Belle shared a glance. Her eyes were getting used to the dark, and she could almost make out his features, starlight gleaming on the lines of his nose and cheekbones.

“Storybrooke,” she said. “That must be where we need to go.”

“Yes.” He looked beyond the sign, down the road to the town. “That’s where he is. We’re going to find my son. We’re going to find my Bae.”

#fic: key to the cell #rumbelle fic #rumbelle #dark castle rumbelle #my fic #I finished a thing!#of course I now have the follow-up fic to write...

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akaluan · 4 years

Note

20, 99, Ichigo/Xanxus

(20: Teacher AU, 99: Magical Accidents, Ichigo/Xanxus)

(With apologies to anyone expecting a vaguely IC Xanxus: I’ve read fic with him, but never source material, and it’s been a damn long while XD)

Ichigo’s leading his students back to their hotel when it happens.

A great orange-red blur bolts from a nearby alley, pursued by several distinctive men, all wearing identical uniforms and obviously furious; one even has wisps of bluish power trailing from his fingers, clearly intent on doing something to the creature they’re pursuing.

Ichigo doesn’t bother stepping aside. He flickers forward in a tiny burst of shunpo. Scoops up the… cat? Cat. And tucks it against his side even as he lets his reiatsu uncoil from his soul. He keeps it subtle for the moment, just a sense of pressure in the air directed at the men and shielding his students, but he’s ready to act if he needs to.

(He may be a teacher these days, but that doesn’t mean he’s lost his edge.)

(Especially against near-baseline humans.)

“Is there a problem here, gentlemen?” Ichigo asks in careful, precise Italian, even as he adjusts his grip on the cat. It’s struggling, gnawing on his wrist and ripping at his arm in an attempt to escape, but a touch of hierro means the beast’s efforts are in vain.

The men skid to a halt. Glance between him and his gaggle of students. Clearly label him not a threat even as the largest takes a menacing step towards him.

“Hand over the cat,” the man demands.

Ichigo’s students snicker and edge back a bit to give him space, elbowing one another and whispering in Japanese; the clear dismissal seems to bother the men, but Ichigo doesn’t bother to shush them.

(He… might have a reputation still.)

Ichigo hums and glances down at the cat still angrily trying to gnaw his wrist off, then back up at the men. “I don’t think it wants to go with you.”

The man grits his teeth and holds out his — scratched and bleeding — hand in demand. “Its wants are immaterial,” the man says. “Thank you for catching it, but we need to return it home.”

The cat yowls at that, all anger-fury-terror at the option, and Ichigo tucks it more carefully against his side. This close, he can feel the whisper of not-a-cat leaking from the creature; whether it’s a person trapped in a feline form somehow or someone experimenting with a skill like Yoruichi’s, they’re not quite good enough to hide their personhood from him.

All the more reason to refuse to hand the person over, honestly.

“Sorry guys, but I think we’ll have to agree to disagree about that,” Ichigo says with a shrug, and then doesn’t wait for a response. He darts forward. Trips the first bruiser and lays out the second with a sharp jab to the stomach. Ducks away from a grab by the one with blue power and elbows the man in the side of the head. Applies a careful burst of reiatsu to make sure they all stay down, and turns back to his students with the — suddenly very quiet — cat still tucked against his side.

His students clap.

“Don’t tell anyone about this and I’ll buy you all ice cream,” Ichigo bribes them without remorse. Not that he expects this little event to go entirely unreported; one of his students will talk to a friend, the friend will talk to another, and soon enough the whole story will be blown entirely out of proportion and add another tally on his record.

“Yeah!” “Alright!” “I want mango!”

Ichigo snorts and jerks his head in the direction they were headed before their interruption. “Well, come on then. Two scoops for each of you, whatever flavors you want.” The cat in his arms makes a grumpy noise, and Ichigo snorts in amusement as he strokes the cat’s head. “None for you. Ice cream isn’t good for cats, you know.”

The cat growls and tries to gnaw on his wrist again, less like it means it and more like it’s just trying to make a point.

“I’ll get you some tuna and water when we’re back in the hotel,” Ichigo promises as he hitches the feline higher and attempts to make it at least a bit comfortable. Still, he’d rather not give it a chance to escape, so he doesn’t try too hard as he starts moving down the street with his students in tow.

It’ll forgive him eventually, or maybe not.

Honestly, he doesn’t really care.

(Why can’t any of his trips ever be normal?)

(Really.)

*****

“If you alert the hotel staff and get us kicked out, I won’t call my friend who can probably get you out of that shape,” Ichigo hisses into the not-a-cat’s ears as he and his gaggle of students finally approach the hotel. And then to his students he says, “Students, remember your promise. Not a word about our newest friend to anyone here, understood?”

“Hai, Sensei!” comes the ragged chorus of voices, many muffled by ice cream or gelato.

Ichigo hums and carefully positions himself towards the center of his group, letting the bodies of his students obscure the fact that he’s carrying a cat into a hotel that probably has a ‘no pets allowed’ policy. His students are of course entirely up for this harmless bit of rule-breaking, no doubt looking forward to seeing the cat later when he’s checked it over.

(Given the not-a-cat’s rather persistent attempts at mauling his arm, he’s pretty sure he’s also going to need to rescue a perfectly average stray in order to entertain the class.)

At least Not-A-Cat seems to be cooperating. Except for continued half-hearted attempts to chew through his wrist, the little beast is entirely quiet as they pass through the lobby and proceed down the hallway to the elevators. Where they have to wait, because there are only two elevators and he has nearly twenty students — a quick head counts confirms he’s not missing anyone yet — that need to reach the fifth floor.

One eternity later — in which Not-A-Cat graduates from half-hearted chewing to a serious effort to bite through his hierro — and Ichigo has finally managed to usher all his students back to their rooms and washed his hands of active chaperoning duties for the night.

If they need him, they know where he’ll be.

He unceremoniously drops Not-A-Cat on the hotel chair and grabs a washcloth to wipe the smudges of dirt and spit from his arm. “Hope you didn’t chip a tooth on my arm,” Ichigo tells Not-A-Cat as he settles down on the bed next to the chair. “Not sure how that would transfer over to your human form when we get you out of that.”

Not-A-Cat yawns very pointedly in his direction, wide and long and obnoxious, but it’s more than enough for Ichigo to see that nothing’s wrong with Not-A-Cat’s teeth, at least.

Which is a relief, because the more chance he’s getting to look at Not-A-Cat, the more he dislikes what he’s seeing.

Not-A-Cat is hunkered into a defensive loaf, body trembling now that the danger is gone. Its red-orange fur is ratty, with odd patches of white fur scattered all over, one of the largest splashed right across its face. It looks little better than an alley-cat, which… doesn’t bode well for the person the cat originally was.

“Got a name?” Ichigo asks as he sets the washcloth aside and eyes the room, wondering what he’s going to use for a water dish. There really aren’t that many options, but… he’ll figure something out.

Not-A-Cat very pointedly yowls at him, tail lashing and ears back, as if to say ‘I’m a cat, how do you expect me to talk?’

Ichigo huffs a laugh. “Have you even tried to talk yet?”

“Course I fuckin’ h— what the fuck?!” Not-A-Cat practically shrieks, voice softer than Yoruichi’s despite the pitch.

“There you go,” Ichigo says with a smirk, more amused than anything by the profanity after so many years of Shiro in his head. “Try to keep the chatter to a minimum around my students though, hm? They’re just regular kids.”

Not-A-Cat scowls at him, eyes narrowed and ears back, but all it does is make him look like he’s pouting. “Yeah, yeah, don’t get smug, trash. How’d you fucking know…?”

“I have a friend who can.”

“That friend get trapped in another form by a fucking Mist high on superiority?”

“No, but she has a technique that lets her turn into a cat at will,” Ichigo says as he arches an eyebrow, confused by the mention of a ‘mist high on superiority’ but content to leave it be for the moment. Now wasn’t the time to poke his nose into another society’s definition of ‘empowered human’, though given his luck…

Well. He’d deal with the fallout when it came.

If it came.

(He was getting pretty good at stopping issues before they became issues, if he did say so himself.)

“Why the fuck do you think she could help, then?”

Ichigo shrugs. “If she can’t then Hat’n’Clogs can. He’s good at unraveling mysteries.”

Not-A-Cat’s tail thumps against the chair cushion in frustration, and their voice is sullen as they say, “Fuckin’ fine. Whatever. Name’s Xanxus. If you don’t follow through on getting me out of this shape, I will find a way to fucking end you, trash.”

“Nice to meet you, Xanxus,” Ichigo says with all the weaponized pleasantness he’s learned to muster as a teacher. “I’m Ichigo Kurosaki.”

Xanxus scoffs and looks away, hunkering down further into the chair as he mutters, “Yeah whatever… didn’t you fuckin’ promise me food?”

Ichigo inclines his head and rises to his feet. “I did indeed. If you promise to stay put and not make trouble, I’ll see about getting something for you, hm?”

“Whatever, trash. Better not keep me waiting long.”

“I’ll try not to,” Ichigo says in amusement, thoroughly reminded of some of the ‘trouble’ students he’s had in the past. Whoever Xanxus is, Ichigo has no intention of letting him fall back into the hands of the people searching for him.

Even if it means calling Hat’n’Clogs up to work out a way to smuggle a feline back into Karakura.

Well, it’s not like Urahara doesn’t owe him one for the latest round of ‘fix Shinigami fuckups’.

(They’ll figure it out.)

(Just like usual.)

#local cryptid teacher kurosaki ichigo #with his gaggle of students entirely accustomed to Weird Shit (TM) happening around their homeroom teacher #tbh the ages in this don't work very well since this is Xanxus escaping from ZPB years early #via a mist with a magical artifact and more moxy than sense #anyway Xanxus gets to experience ten years of Belligerent Crush before anything happens #and maybe gets adopted by Yoruichi for funsies #and KHR arcs are entirely derailed #oh weeeelll #thefringeperson #replies

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