10 BL Characters I Would Hit With My Car
(I don't have a licence and can't drive so this is just for fun OBVIOUSLY)
LISTEN, I love these characters. They are complex, they are human, they are flawed and yet you can't help but root for them. Or they are just giant assholes.
Regadless, I think they would all benefit from getting hit by a car as a little treat.
Feel free to tag yourselves and participate in a bit of lighthearted negativity and media complaining.
1) Ben From Never Let Me Go (2022)
Of course he would be on this list. Mainly because how are you, a closeted gay in a coming of age bl drama, sitting down in front of a piano next to a beautiful boy and not just completely eat his face in a passionate life altering kiss? I understand that was the whole point of the scene, but personally I would rise above the narrative that was trapping me.
2) Dan from Not Me (2021)
Being a cop, killing Sean's father and selling NFTs is bad enough on it's own, I agree. But Dan's biggest sin was taking the cigarette out of Yok's mouth and depriving us of seeing sad First Kanaphan smoking near a body of water-THE queer cinema experience.
As it turns out, you can be gay and homophobic at the same time.
3) Kenji from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)
So you have funky hair and kawnty fashion sense? Oh, you partake in fun bathtub threesomes? What, you're a little unhinged and psychotic? Perfect! THEN WHY THE HELL YOU SUCK AT BEING A VILLAIN SO HARD HUH???
Kenji you better put your helmet on, I'm turning on the engine.
4) Kanghan from Dangerous Romance (2023)
Rich people don't deserve rights in general so Kang was already on thin ice to begin with. But being a bully on top of that? UNDER THE HOOD OF THE CAR YOU GO!
Also he is so attention starved on account of his father being a negligent asshole that he will jump in front of my car willingly just to get a drop of love from dad and Sailom.
5) Yu Xi Gu from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)
(I'm so so incredibly sorry but I HAD to okay you don't underst- *gets shot immediately*)
6) Mork from Fish Upon The Sky (2021)
I looked at Pond for 0.1 second and fell so embarrasingly in love that for the entirety of FUTS I saw no flaws in Mork's character at all. All he did made sense and I was blissfuly having a great time! So I'm pummeling him to the ground for my own sake I CAN'T KEEP BEING THIS STUPID ABOUT HIM HE IS OBJECTIVELY CREEPY!
7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)
Was he in my "I want them carnally" list? Yes. Do I find him beautiful and incredible? Double yes. Am I smearing him on asphalt like a squished bug for causing Mark so much unnecessary pain and heartbreak? More likely than you think.
8) Jiwoo from To My Star/ To My Star 2 (2021-22)
MY BEAUTIFUL BOY!! A crumb of healthy communication is all I'm asking for!
Jiwoo was so emotionally bricked up for the majority of both seasons that it caused ME damage. So me hitting him with my car is both a revenge plot and an attempt to let loose some of those pent up feelings of his.
(But also I'm dead meat if Seojoon finds out it was me behind the wheel. He loves that boy too much.)
9) Zee from Twins (2023-24)
I'm volunteering to do this as public service to keep Sprite and First together without any twins switch drama. One gremlin down, one successful volleyball couple UP!!
10) Winner from Pit Babe (2023-24)
I want to do it as an experiment. I feel like he would make a funny sound under the wheels, like when you sqeeze clown's nose or step on a rubber duck. I would also like to see how this will affect his character. Will he become even more annoying? Will it fix him completely? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!!
(This was so fun I love inflicting imaginary violence on fictional men. If you read this far into this incoherent insanity, consider yourself tagged!💖)
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I want characters that know each other, body and soul, every scar and every shame. I want devotion the likes of which the church has never witnessed. I want loyalty that would make kings jealous. I want love that would make gods blush.
I want everything. I want legend.
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Loquatius Seelie, despite his tendency to milk attention from the citizens of Avalir by parading around in public, often spends time hiding from the masses, pretending to be someone else. There are afternoons when he clears his schedule and just walks around the city admiring his home, free from the hassle of pretending to be grand. He'll pass by the places his ex-wife frequents to see if she's doing well, though always in secret.
Laerryn Coramar-Seelie, who is always on the move? Who needs to get ahead of the schedule she's already ahead of? Every so often she'll spot him enjoying the peace and quiet. She was the only person who ever knew it was him - even in the middle of a crowded street. Just by the way that young girl held herself, or that elderly man stared at the spell kites. She was always keenly aware of when the stranger secretly admiring her handiwork was her ex-husband.
And there's a little bit of guilt from both of them. Because when they were together, they always felt too busy to take those strolls through the city. But now? All they could do was steal glances at each other from afar and find peace in that solitude.
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Imagine this. You're Spock. You've tried not to get yourself emotionally involved with your crewmates. It's not going very well. Your doctor goes and contracts a terminal illness and doesn't tell you (but luckily your captain can't go three seconds without breaking Space HIPAA or whatever exists in the future) and then tries to run away and die on an asteroid. You take out the Instrument of Obedience, privately thinking that it would be nice to have some control over this maniac you somehow care about's actions. You spend Surak knows how much time downloading and translating an entire civilization's medical library to cure him. No problem. It was just an incurable disease. You didn't need to sleep this month.
Two episodes later, another alien civilization tries to check said doctor out like he's a library book and then writes "withdrawn" on his forehead and pretends they don't have to give him back. He tells you to leave to save yourself; he'll stay. Did you mention you decoded an entire medical archive like two weeks ago for---fine. You go through unspeakable emotional violations to put him back into circulation on the Enterprise. It's cool. You didn't need your dignity anyway.
Two episodes after that, your illogical, self-sacrificial doctor mutinies and sedates you--the ranking officer in charge--undoing the fact that, again, how many hours did you spend? Curing an incurable illness because you couldn't let him die? Singing like an idiot in front of a bunch of snickering Platonians with laurel leaves on your head and no pants to speak of?--so he can get himself tortured to death on your behalf. You convince an empath to save him. He pushes her away because he "can't destroy life." Your captain is crying. The shiny force field shows everyone that you're having very non-shiny emotions. Do Vulcans even believe in hell
You think you've finally reached some sort of sacrificial detente. It's been a while. Neither of you have died on the other's behalf. You've both had to save your captain a few times, but that's normal. All in a day's work. Then said captain wants all three of you to check out a mysteriously abandoned library of time periods. You should have figured you would wind up in some sort of frozen wasteland with your doctor and no perceivable way to return what you'd borrowed. Well. At least there's the two of you so that you can keep an eye on--
He falls down in the snow. His hands are blue. "Go on without me," he says, dramatically. "Alone, you have a chance."
yeah I'd strangle that fucker against a cave wall too
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