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#the story is very unique and heartbreaking
kissmefriendly · 11 months
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Listening to The Amelia Project in 2017: Oh haha what a fun take on an office comedy! A death faking business, this is hilarious!
Listening to the Amelia Project in 2023: Death is inescapable, we will always leave behind those we love and be left behind, we do the best with the time we have and it is never enough, our stories will always outlive us so long as there is someone to tell them after we cannot
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atzfilm · 4 months
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𝐚𝐭𝐳𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦'𝐬 𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 .ᐟ
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all works of writing/summaries are not owned by me, and all credits go to the respective writers! this list will be updated periodically with stories i have read ♡ i thought that as a writer myself who consumes talented stories on this site, it would be good for me to show you all a fraction of what i read myself tehe (i read majority poly!teez/mc so that category will be filled!!) ☆
— note: 90% of these fics will contain mature themes, since it's all i read! please read the specific author's notes before reading!
❤︎ - personal favorites
ᴍᴜʟᴛɪ
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— ❤︎ mists of celeste (??/reader, several pairings) by @hongism
genre: scifi/space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, smut, fluff
summary: sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you.
notes: as an atiny on tumblr.com, i feel like it's a rite of passage to read moc. it's one of the best written works i have had the privilege of reading. it's gripping, it's heartbreaking, it's filled with yearning and love, and has you hoping that the characters survive this ordeal. san i love you most you can tell by the masterlist alone that she has crafted a whole space pirate universe intricately and with the utmost care. she deals with the trauma of the characters so so well and i cant lie ive cried a lot reading it jdhdksjddj, it's the fic that made me start reading ateez ff, i mean, i started reading before even knowing ateez and i had to have a separate tab open to remember who was who. that alone can tell you how much of a work of art this is. omg, im blabbering, but please read this.
— hotel california (ot8/reader) by @mint-yooxgi
genre: yandere, demon!au
summary: checking in to a hotel ran by yandere!Ateez, the boys decide she can no longer leave
my notes: im not too sure how i came across this work, i think it was an endless scroll of me trying to find something to read, but nevertheless, this story. i have not finished it yet (a great and utter pity) but from what ive read so far. im actually very concerned on how much ive read of this in one night 😨, i think the plot is so so unique, i love a strong mc who does not take any shit whatsoever, i love gaslighting demon!ateez 🙂‍↕️. i had to stare at the wall several times while reading,, felt like jim in the office truly. UGH it's just so good??? i can't recommend enough!! PLEASE READ.
— ❤︎ the answer (ot8?/reader, side pairings) by @berryunho
genre: cult au, thriller
summary: life is great until your best friend goes missing your senior year of university, leaving little more than an apology and goodbye. Months later, you’re determined to find out what happened to him and discover a situation much more complicated than you would have ever anticipated - as in - Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers 'sect.'
my notes: i first discovered this fic on ao3 and somehow found out lauren had a tumblr blog but i digress – i found this one night and was so excited that i found something so so unique and different and i am pretty sure i didn't sleep until 4am reading everything omg . it's truly so funny and i adore the main character more than anything, the snide remarks truly encompass and make you feel their emotions? cult leader hongjoong is something else... without spoiling hfjdjf. i beg lauren often for a spoiler because it's just that good. please read.
— OUTLAW (ot8/reader, side pairings) by @staytinyville
genre: wild west!au, smut(?), angst
summary: you thought you would be spending the rest of your life tending to the hotel your family ran. while you knew it was common to see bandits come and go in your town, you felt safe in your home. at least safe enough with a weapon at your disposal. however you were no match for eight men who were known to most as outlaws around the plains. hawt kind of adventures did they go on?
my notes: i started reading this a while back and have yet to finish, but so far the premise is so so so interesting and i love readying cowboy aus rjkfjkdrfkj ITS SO GOOD!!!! I CANT WAIT TO CATCH UP
— sway with me (ot8/reader, wooyoung/reader) by @luvt0kki
genre: sci-fi/space/futuristic!au
summary: former noble turned space pirate, wooyoung was now part of one of the most revered and hunted group of pirates of the galaxy. sure he’s only known them for six months but there’s only so much you could do in a ship when you travel from one planet to the next. the ship was their home, his home…and the members of this crew were friends that he felt he was fated to meet.
my notes: tokki already knows all of this but,,, i started this a month or so ago? and i read the first chapter and i legit lost my mind,,, in the calmest way possible... the first chapter is gripping and it sets a environment that i very much would love to live in??? it's just so so well written, and the reader is very much my type NDFAKKJ ANYWAY... it's told from the pov of wooyoung and i love it??? so MUCH?? please read ok bye
— one more rep (woosan x reader) by @cheollipop
genre: smut, f2l, trainers woosan
summary: san got a little too excited watching you exercise in purple – his favourite colour – and wooyoung was nothing if not a tease. turning their attention back to you, they didn't expect to see you equally worked-up.
my notes: ???? i actually read this a few times,,,, this fic yall.... i cannot... the mental image of woosan in the gym makes me delusional enoughdsjkaskfjksd PLEASE.
— like a dream (yungi x reader) by cheollipop
genre: bf!yungi, smut
summary: with only the orange hues of the lamp illuminating the room, they have you for the first time, and it feels just like a dream.
my notes: yunho and mingi are my weakness,, so the both of them together.....
sᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ
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to be added!
ʜᴏɴɢᴊᴏᴏɴɢ
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— horizon by @pxedpiper (ft. ateez/f.reader)
genre: pirate!au
summary: once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.
my notes: i just found this the other day but remembering reading it a while ago! it's so so well written and i enjoyed it sm 🥹
ʏᴜɴʜᴏ
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to be added!
ʏᴇᴏsᴀɴɢ
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to be added!
sᴀɴ
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to be added!
ᴍɪɴɢɪ
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— safe haven (mingi/reader) by @atxxzist
genre: bodyguard!au, fluff
summary: your father has had enough of your shit, and hires Song Mingi; his best friend's son, to be your personal bodyguard
my notes: is it possible to fall down the mingi hole deeper than i already have? maybe! this fic pretty much lives in my head,,, endlessly,,,, i love mingi. i love this au so much and i especially love bodyguard aus, i think it's one of my favorite genres and this deepens it.... PLEASE READ.
ᴡᴏᴏʏᴏᴜɴɢ
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— rough rider (wooyoung x afab!reader) by @choism
genre: smut
summary: In which you meet a hot twink at a club who has a slightly unhealthy obsession with the 2000's and y2k bimbocore.
my notes: i......... there's no way i can describe this fic... if u yearn for wooyoung the way i do. read this.
— what happened to slow down? (bf!wooyoung x reader) by @ja3hwa
genre: smut
summary: coming back from a house party, you and woo couldn't seem to keep your hands off one another. everything was happening so fast. you two didn't even make it to the bedroom.
my notes: insert a photo of someone throwing a phone and screaming crying, then picking it up to read the rest. thats me kjrfakfajkf
ᴊᴏɴɢʜᴏ
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daisyswift3 · 4 days
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So I think I may have cracked the code. Listening to Clara Bow w this context in mind from the 4th, 9th, and 10th 🎃 messages makes the lyrics cut even deeper and explains the purpose of the anthology.
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What Taylor is essentially saying is that above all else she is proud of her humanity. “Human. Human. Human.” “Flesh and blood.” Unlike some ppl in Hollywood like greedy big suits (cough SB^2 cough Big Machine cough) she’s managed to keep her humanity intact and didn’t let these negative experiences corrupt her or turn her bitter. She was able to find peace and courage in spite of it. And she’s saying I am abt to come out of the closet and while I am hopeful I’m also a little fearful. But isn’t that an amazing thing? Because being fearful, sad, furious, insecure, hopeful—these experiences are unique to humans! “Your heart beats red and hot and furious in your chest.”
“And most importantly, they will know about the human heart.” THIS is the purpose of the anthology. This is why she released 31 (13 backwards) songs for her fans to dissect and decode. Bc she wants them to understand that she’s not a god. She’s a flawed human just like the rest of us.
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I think there’s a very good chance that THIS is what her movie is going to be about. Her journey out of the closet and all the hardship that came along w it and helping other ppl to understand the human heart. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a memoir that was released w it—“the professor said to write what you know.” And it makes sense too why the manuscript lyrics match perfectly w the all too well short film. Bc they’re talking abt the exact same thing!! She has a relationship w a much older man, experiences heartbreak, heals, and then writes abt it in a book—the story of us AKA the manuscript.
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And this is why 🎃 kept referencing the story of us. I couldn't make sense of it a few months ago but now in hindsight it all makes perfect sense. Message in a bottle was probably a red tv vault track for this reason too. Bc the message in a bottle is the manuscript. The puzzle pieces really do all fall right into place.
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The appeal of One Piece
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I know everyone's a bit sour on One Piece after the clown stunt tumblr pulled, but with the live-action series out and the anime popping off on social media, there's more eyes on this goofy pirate story than ever, and I've been dying to talk about it, so now's the time.
A lot of the conversation around One Piece is steeped in hyperbole, and it's hard not to be hyperbolic when you're talking about a work of almost unprecedented length and popularity. With that in mind, I wanna try to explain what makes One Piece so good in a way that is concise, spoiler-free, and that will give you an idea if this might actually be a story you'll enjoy.
And I do actually think a lot of people who would enjoy One Piece are currently writing it off, and I think a lot of the blame lies on assumptions people have about shonen as a genre. One Piece is no doubt a shonen, with young and teen boys as the primary demographic, but it is also first and foremost an adventure story about a group of quirky outcasts setting out to follow their dreams, despite (or often in spite of) the crushing weight of reality.
But you can't have an adventure story without a world to set that adventure in, and what a world Eiichiro Oda has crafted. One Piece manages to feel like it has fully realized an entire planet, with every island we travel to having a very distinct sense of culture and visual identity. A lot of care has gone into building the history and politics of these places, and the mechanics by which their more out-there elements, like the sky-high ocean geyser or the mountain with an upside-down waterfall, function. As such, it is a setting that afford its story a lot of variety, while also being able to tackle a lot of very heady topics like authoritarianism, racism, and abuse in intelligent, nuanced ways.
But just as important as all of islands we visit are the wonderful characters we meet. A lot of people aren't into One Piece's exaggerated cartoon aesthetic, and I respect that, but it does lend itself to a lot of very unique faces and body types that make its cast of 1000+ characters a joy to behold. This is admittedly less true of the more conventionally attractive women, many of whom look very similar, but this is does not extend to their writing. Oda is very good at imbuing his characters with life, pulling on their histories to give them personalities and quirks that are often as funny as they are sad. Everyone I know that reads One Piece has a side character that they stan hardcore for, be it the lovable klutz Donquixote Rocinante or the petulant ghost girl Perona.
And all of this is especially true for our protagonists, the Straw Hat Pirates, each one of which is a deep, multifaceted character whose drive and dreams can be traced back to their often heartbreaking origins. I know I mentioned it at the top already, but at its core, One Piece is ultimately a story about a group of hurt, lonely individuals who find in each other not just friends, but a family that will support and protect them as together they chase their dreams in the face of a world whose systems have been built to squash them underfoot.
All of this is brought together by Oda's exceptional artistic skill. While as mentioned earlier, One Piece's cartoony artstyle isn't for everyone, it's by no means an accident. One Piece is a story set in a cartoon world, and Oda is able to give even his most ridiculous characters and places a tangible sense of physicality, making everything feel real within the confines of the page. While Oda has a team of assistants to help him, he still does the brunt of the art himself, and his dedication to his craft means the comic is full of panels that are breathtaking in their complexity and visual density.
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But it's not just his technical skill that makes the art of One Piece so good, it's that Oda is also very good at letting his art speak for him. Compared to a lot of other big shonen manga, One Piece doesn't lean as heavily on the dialogue to give the readers all the necessary information, but can convey a lot of what is happening and how characters are thinking and feeling through its artwork. There's some sections where this doesn't hold as true (and they are frequently less well-liked as a result) but it makes One Piece a far lighter read than its soon to be 1100 chapter-count would make you believe.
But the thing I think makes One Piece the most exceptional of all, and what makes me recommend it despite its length, is that as a story, One Piece has a remarkable clarity of vision. One Piece has a stance and a worldview that it does not waver on, and it is present from the very beginning. It's is romantic story, about the power of faith and dreams, about people's right to be free and be who they want to be, and about how the beauty and wonder of the world makes its worth its danger and uncertainty.
One Piece knows what it wants to be from the very beginning, and because of that you don't have to wait for it to get good. A problem that a lot of longform media struggles with is that the opening hours are a slog to get through, because it doesn't show you its hand early enough for you to know if it's something you'll like, and that is not a problem One Piece has. It is exactly what it is going to be from the beginning, only in a simpler, cruder form that it is going to expand upon to become the sprawling pirate fantasy epic it has grown to be. This clarity of vision also makes One Piece very rewarding for attentive readers, as it frequently hints at future places and characters, and plants story seeds that it pays off hundreds of chapters later. It does a lot to make the world feel big and interconnected, and makes One Piece very fun to re-read as you pick up on things you missed the first time around.
It is frequently recommended that new readers start with the initial 100 chapters, the East Blue saga (which is what the live action series adapts, for the record), to see if One Piece is right for them, and that's the note I am going to end this post on, as well. East Blue uses its 100 chapters to tell a fairly self-contained story that introduces the first half of the core cast, setting the stakes and building its world while giving you plenty of interesting places, bizarre creatures, and wacky action all the while. It is One Piece showing you its hand, with the promise that if you like what you see, it'll have so, so much more in store for you
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maissafespace · 8 months
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I know you.
Shigure Sohma x Reader
synopsis: Shigure Sohma, a complicated man with a lot of secrets, knowing him gave you everything, from love to happiness to frustration and pain. It can’t help that you cannot get away from him.
warnings: age gap relationship. angst. mean!shigure, domestic fluff, heartbreak, arguments, mentions of break up, mentions of cheating (not happening). nsfw. emotional s*x, doggy style, missionary, cream pies, mentions of pregnancy, breeding.
a/n: it’s a brief story for one of the men that has my heart, but unfortunately is in a unique situation with a person I loathe lmao. It’s something that I needed more than anything, I haven't written for some time so I hope it's decent. please like, comment, reblog, tip! thank you for reading!!!!
Masterpost • Masterlist
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Living as a zodiac and as a Sohma, Shigure never saw anything beyond the walls of the clan when he was young, and he never thought about it either.
When he was kicked out after the whole thing with that woman and the other as well, he had no option but to. He had to find a house, find a job, a routine to follow, to live a life as a normal human and not one of the zodiac.
In that, he could not forget to fill his own release. How to pass time when he had the time to distract himself.
First, it was his few flees here and there, Mayu as well. But nothing and no one that made him feel less like the dog of the zodiac, only loyal to one woman in mind. No one was ever serious enough or enough in itself.
The appearance of the kids was a welcomed distraction but not ‘it’ yet, it was another failure. Their fights, their presence made him observing of what the zodiac was, therefore made her existence even worse and far more amplified.
When he met you, nothing changed at all at first. You were and are younger than him, just another woman, meeting him during your first year in uni in a random cafe in the city while he was 25.
It took you a bit of time to actually talk to him, to get the glances and looks to have an effect, to have him take you seriously at all beyond an 18-year-old looking at a slightly older man.
Maybe at that moment you were looking for a distraction from the workload as well, he doesn’t know really the motive behind your pursuing.
But he knew that neither of you were actually taking the situation seriously, it was all out of lust, for him to not think of Akito and the curse, for you to probably not think of family and your own problems.
Things weren't supposed to be taken seriously.
Yet, after three years, here he was, thrusting into you deep and hard, groaning into your mouth as he muffled your moans and made everything echo with the slick on your skin.
Your legs spread apart, feet planted on the futon while his hands pinned yours down. Chest against chest. Forehead against forehead.
You knew his secret.
His attraction grew even more after the discovery, you stayed and listened, you stayed and understood, you stayed and didn’t care.
You stayed.
He knew the difficulty in it though, you were a very affectionate person, for years you wanted to hold him, the man that was making your head go crazy but you couldn’t without ending up with the cute version of his dog.
Because while it was at least something, after years, and a title, it was still frustrating.
As he fucked you thoroughly, he could see the way your legs twitched every time to wrap around him and feel the most. He wanted it too, feel your legs tightly around himself, feel your arms around his back and leaving all the marks you wanted.
As he spilled into you, hands firmly on your waist, digging into your flesh as he pushed as deep as he could, he showed you the same amount of want and need. The marks perpetually being left on your skin, everyday you saw them, every time you remembered that none other would fit them as his hands would.
Panting against your chest, he was feeling your nails brushing through his hair, your lips leaving light pecks on the crown of his head.
It was an experience looking into your eyes every time. He never felt as overwhelmed as in those moments.
So much care and love that he probably shouldn’t deserve for who he truly was. He had told you things but not nearly as everything as he should have.
His head was still split into his zodiac and human, but now there was you, thinking of Akito felt like a betrayal each time, he felt shame that he still couldn’t figure out a way to break this curse and shame of feeling a pull that he would never feel with you. It was something unique with Akito, unfortunately and till then, when she called he would be with her as she wished.
While nothing physical had happened, that was the bare minimum. Just his thoughts were near enough awful for someone in a relationship, he couldn't do anything about the chain that tugged when she wished even in moments like these, where he had the only woman who truly loved him unconditionally with him, making love to her.
Much that he only snapped out of it when he felt you push him off your body. Scrambling around with the sheet covering yourself to find your clothes while he just closed his eyes with a sigh, knowing he had fucked up royally, his hand going to his face, eyes looking down with guilt and then at you, putting on his t-shirt and pants with your shoulders going up and down irregularly.
"I'm sorry." Is all he could say.
"It's not enough." You said with a crack in your voice. "I understand, okay? I do, I did for three years but I can't just ignore it every time. I know she's in your head but where am I? Are you wishing it was her? Are you just doing this out of pettiness? Are you just wasting my time? Am I wasting my time with a man that cannot stop thinking of his ex lover even when we are having sex? Did you cum because of her or me? These are all the questions that come to mind whenver this happens, I'm tired of it, Shigure." Tears were freely rolling down your cheeks, looking at him with sadness and disappointment as he just felt guilt. He couldn't even hug you.
"I know it's not enough but I'm trying. I don't want to think of her, I don't want to, I want to be with you. Why do you think we are where we are now? I want you, but I cannot stop that! I cannot break it." He said through frustration.
"And I get it! But you cannot expect me to not be hurt!" You said back to him.
The room fell in silence. When your breathing regulated, you started to walk off to the door, but he held you back by the wrist. "Where are you going?"
Snatching it back. "I will sleep with Tohru. I cannot be with you tonight."
You closed the door behind you. Shigure just fell back into bed, hunched over as he repressed the need to scream in frustration. He didn't want to admit defeat, unfortunately whenever this happens, he would lose you for three days at least.
He could not do anything, he had not found the way to break the curse yet. He was really trying, for you and for him to live a normal life. He was also sure that it will still take time for it to happen after he discovered a way.
He slept sporadically in the night, waking up every hour and hoping to find you back on the other side of the bed, but it was always empty. In the early morning he woke up and walked down to find the kids all up and about, you were with Tohru by her side wearing his long sleeved shirt and his sweatpants, with your hair wet after what he assumed was a relaxing shower whenever you felt stressed.
Tohru greeted him as gently and kindly as always, Kyo and Yuki doing the same with less enthusiasm, you stayed quiet, he only met your eyes briefly, recognizing the puffiness and the slight redness you tried to cover up, looking away as quickly as possible.
The kids knew to not ask. They ignored whatever had happened every time it happened. Breakfast happened as normally as it would've.
When the kids were gone, so were you, locked up in your shared room with him as you worked from your computer, he knew already he had to stay out of it, he stayed in his study room, writing when he could not do nothing but think to how fix things with you this time.
The first two days went exactly as he predicted, each of you staying in your own spaces, not a word said between you two. He felt anger that you got mad at something he could not control at all and frustration that he could understand it. He saw you each day with the same puffiness around your eyes.
The third was not as he imagined, after the kids went to school, he waited for you to walk up the stairs and disappear till they returned, instead you spoke to him. "We need to talk, Shigure."
Those words didn't inspire faith in him, just fear. Hearing his full name from your lips felt even worse, whatever it was, it was not something he probably wanted to hear.
You two sat in front of each other in his studio, in silence, heart racing in both your chests as you tried to find the right way to put it out. But there wasn't a right way, so you just said it.
"We should break up."
Your words felt like a bucket of ice poured onto him. His eyes widened and he spoke without even thinking. "No."
"I'm not asking, Shigure."
"I said no. I'm not breaking up with you, I don't care whatever you have to say about it, I am not ending my relationship with you." He said, anger visible in his eyes. "We are happy."
"If you think happy means having an argument every two weeks because of another woman, I doubt and am scared of your definition." You said with a chuckle.
"Are you unhappy?" He asked directly.
"I'm not happy entirely." You swallowed. "We have our happy moments, I know, everything apart from this is perfect. But I just can't overlook it every time. It hurts, Shigure, I feel it breaking me all the time physically and emtionally." You said to him. His jaw clenched.
"I'm trying, it's not something I asked for. I want to break it as much as you do and live a fucking normal life."
"And how much time is that going to take? A year? Two years? Five? Ten? Never?! I am 21, I am young and have time to start and build something with someone else, Shigure. I'm not wasting time being your second choice, I will want to get married and have children. What will happen then? Akito will have me end up like Kana and then what, Shigure?"
"You're not a second choice-"
"I am if there is another woman in your heart and mind. Because there shouldn't be. I do not have another man pop up every now and then to which I cannot say no, to which I cannot not accept advances from."
"You know, nothing ever happened. Don't start that shit with me, Y/N. You won't end up like Kana, I won't let Akito get close to you, I made sure of that for three years and Hatori knows he cannot. This conversation is over, I'm not breakiing up with you, forget it." He got up and started to walk away.
"Shigure. Shigure. Shigure!" You yelled following after him up till you were in your shared bedroom. "Stop behaving like this."
"I told you I'm done with the conversation."
"But I'm not. Can you not understand that I'm hurting and we have no way to know if this will end up in tragedy or will work out."
"Do you think I don't want that? I just want to have a fucking life, away from that, now that I'm with you. I did think of it, I want to get married and have a family with you, I just need time to figure this out and break it." Tears rolled down your cheeks at the thought of not having that.
You had fallen in the deep end with him.
"I'm not throwing away the best thing that happened to me." He said sincerely, with fear in his eyes as he looked at you. "I know things are not the best right now, but we endured it and I'm not giving up."
You sniffled, frusteation growing in you as well. "What if I want to get married right away?"
"Then we will get married, tomorrow if you want."
"First you'll have to get permission from the head of the family." You spit back at him.
"I don't care. I've been kicked out, despite being called back from time to time, I call all my choices. I'm marrying you, whether you want it or not, tomorrow or whenever you think it's right." He shrugged. Your jaw clenched.
"What if I was pregnant? What would happen then when you get called back, when she finally wants you openly because she will not want you with another? Where do we end up? Shigure, just understand, for once, things will not change." Your voice had some sincerity, his eyes narrowed at it. Looking at you up and down.
"Are you?" His voice was hoarse, in disbelief.
"I said if I was."
"And I'm asking if you actually are." He just looked at your frown, the veil of tears that was buidling up in your eyes as you shut your mouth in a thin line instead of giving him a proper answer. "You are." He said taking a step towards you, as you took a step back.
"I don't know if I'm keeping it, don't get your hopes up, I'm not raising a child in these conditions." Your words held bitterness. "You didn't even want anything when we started our relationship, you didn't want the committment, I'm sure a child was not in it as well."
"Things changed you know that. For fuck's sake we live together, how do I not want committment? With you? I just told you I'd marry you tomorrow if you want. I'm 28, a child is not going to scare me off and make me break up with you. It's just making me love you more."
Your breathing became visibly irregular from the anger or frustration he didn't know. But you had only given him a reason more to fight for you. "Gure, please." You just cried, breaking. "I am scared." Your head fell down, eyes shutting as you cried.
Despite it, he understood. He understood your fears, he understood that you were scared, you were young, pregnant and in a relationship with a man that it's chained to a woman he grew to despise, and that could not touch fully without becoming a dog.
His gaze softened, walking towards you and leaning his forehead down to the top of your head, the most intimacy he could give you, kissing your head. "I love you. I truly and incredibly am in love with you." His hand slid on top of your flat stomach. Your hand going on top of his. "I'm here with you, just hang with me a little more."
You faced him, lips colliding with yours as you locked in a burning kiss. Your hands quickly pulling down his yukata from his shoulders, pooling on his waist as your nails quickly dug into his skin as always giving him indication of your need for him.
It wasn't long after that you both found yourselves naked on the bed, his cock into you as he dug his fingers into your thighs to keep you down and yours in his shoulders in a position where it didn't trigger it.
His length going in and out of you deeply, whispering sweet things into your ears as you just moaned his name, making something snap in him, something he wasn't quite sure of.
"Mine, mine..." He repeated as changed and pounded from behind you, his hand keeping your head to the side, looking at you fucked out state as he erased any idea of breaking up from your mind.
He felt the pull, growing restless to have his attention, but he just couldn't, he was caught up, he had you, he had you forever, and with you he had a child that was enlarging his own proper family, that tied you in a way that he cannot be tied with anyone else, his dream of a normal life with you and away from everything else.
A tear fell down his cheek as you moaned out his name coming on his cock as he kept going in and out of you sloppily, reaching his own point of release as he came deep in you, spilling his seed in you once again, feeling the knot releasing and something completely breaking in him.
You both panted for air, crying silently and he fell on you, the urge in him to hug you tightly.
So he did, he hugged you.
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familyagrestefanblog · 6 months
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You know, the moment where Emonette wipes away some of Badrien's make up, revealing the same black vains she has hidden away underneath her scarf and then after she tries making a wish they reach her face
That actually has some massive implications the narrative just glosses over, huh?
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Emonette only looked like this AFTER she tried making the wish but the black vains already reach far into Adrien's face BEFORE that.
And the thing is, we don't even see ALL of Adrien's face underneath the make up. Just this little part.
The black vains could be all over his face and neck by now and we wouldn't know because the scene literally shows us that he's wearing very good make up covering it up. Something Marinette didn't saw the need of doing before bc it wasn't bad enough yet to go to these measures. In her case a scarf was enough.
Something that for Adrien apparently stopped being an option for quite some time before the special even started. That sure explains why Griffe Noire took the cataclysm like a champ, his body was already much more damaged than Toxinelle's and he got alarmingly used to the pain.
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*sigh*
I really hate being a bitch about this because Marinette's shot here is simply beautiful and such a heartbreaking piece of story-telling. I hate that the show can't let me enjoy something like this for Marinette anymore. Man, I REALLY love that shot of hers...
But for the love of God, Miraculous. If you want to give Marinette the special treatment with the striking visuals that show how bad she's got it, PLEASE just write it accordingly.
Why are you here, giving Marinette this extremely striking visual alongside the message of "it's just a little broken, we can fix it again" after the unique event of her having tried making the wish and then only letting Toxinelle openly run around with all her black vains visible?
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You just admitted in the same damn scene that Adrien has long started wearing make up to cover up his own damage marks and from what little we can see his marks at least reach as far as hers. Not to mention that Marinette looked like this after she tried making the wish, the special SHOWS that this created a big leap in how big her damage got.
Adrien already long reached that level only through using his powers. That was equivalent to her getting punished for releasing the wish-making energy.
Miraculous, why are you out here visually manipulating the viewers into thinking Emonette/ Toxinelle had it "so much worse" again than Badrien / Griffe Noire, when what you actually did was cowardly hiding Adrien's damage marks underneath make up so Marinette can get the cool and deep shots?
I'm not against Marinette getting these cinematic and striking visuals, she's the main character, I KNOW.
But would it hurt you to then actually write the story accordingly? If you want her to be the one who has it worse here then actually write it being HER who has it clear-cut worse and don't just hide away Adrien's damage and seriously implied to be bigger problems AGAIN so Marinette can get the spotlight instead.
Why is this ALWAYS happening? JUST WRITE IT, DAMN IT!
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astroa3h · 3 months
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chiron through the houses 🥲
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Chiron, often referred to as the "Wounded Healer" in astrology, represents our deepest wounds from childhood and the challenges we face, but also our greatest potential for healing. It's like that one thing that keeps tripping us up, but also teaches us the most valuable lessons. Each house in astrology represents a different area of life, and where Chiron falls can reveal a lot about our childhood and the kind of challenges we might face.
1st House (The House of Self): If Chiron is in your first house, as a kid, you might have felt invisible or misunderstood. Picture this: you're trying to express who you are, but it feels like no one gets it. Maybe you were bullied for being different, or you just felt like an outsider. This can lead to a lifelong journey of self-discovery, where you learn to embrace your uniqueness and stop trying to fit into someone else's box.
2nd House (The House of Value): Chiron in the second house? Money and self-worth issues could have been a big theme in your childhood. Maybe your family struggled financially, or you felt you had to earn love and approval. It's like you're always trying to prove your worth, but deep down, you struggle with feeling good enough. The lesson here is learning that your value isn't tied to your bank account or what others think of you.
3rd House (The House of Communication): Here, Chiron might have made communication a challenge. Perhaps you were super shy, had a speech issue, or just felt like no one listened to you. It's like you had all these thoughts and ideas, but expressing them was a whole other story. The journey is about finding your voice and realizing that what you have to say matters.
4th House (The House of Home and Family): This one's tough. Chiron in the fourth house can mean there were some deep wounds related to home life or family. Maybe there was instability, or you just never felt like you belonged. It's the kind of stuff that can make you feel alone in a crowded room. Healing comes from creating your own sense of home and belonging, often very different from your upbringing.
5th House (The House of Creativity and Pleasure): Childhood might have been lacking in fun and spontaneity if Chiron was here. Maybe you were forced to grow up too fast or your creative talents were dismissed. Youth most likely felt very serious and heavy. It's like you were always yearning for a carefree moment but never got it. The path to healing is about reconnecting with your inner child and allowing yourself to play and create without judgment.
6th House (The House of Health and Service): Chiron here could mean health issues or a sense of duty that weighed on you as a kid. Perhaps you had to care for others or your own health was a constant concern. It's like you never got to just be a kid because there were always responsibilities or worries. Healing involves learning to care for yourself and realizing it's okay to put your needs first sometimes.
7th House (The House of Partnerships): Relationships might have been a source of pain in childhood with Chiron in this house. Maybe you saw unhealthy relationships or experienced early heartbreak. It's like you're always searching for that perfect partner but fear getting hurt. The lesson is learning to find balance in relationships and that it's okay to be vulnerable.
8th House (The House of Transformation): This is a deep one. Chiron in the eighth house can point to experiencing loss or trauma at a young age. It's intense stuff, like dealing with death, or feeling like you've seen too much too soon. The healing journey is about facing these dark experiences and finding strength in the transformation that comes from moving through pain.
9th House (The House of Philosophy and Travel): Here, you might have felt limited or caged in, craving adventure and meaning. Maybe your family had strict beliefs, or you just felt a deep urge to explore but couldn't. Healing comes from broadening your horizons, physically or mentally, and finding your own truth.
10th House (The House of Career and Public Image): Chiron in the 10th house can mean early pressure to succeed or a fear of failure. Perhaps you were pushed into the spotlight or had big shoes to fill. It's like you're always climbing a mountain, trying to prove yourself. The key is to define success on your own terms and realize it's okay not to be perfect.
11th House (The House of Friendships and Hopes): With Chiron here, fitting in might have been the struggle. Maybe you were the odd one out, or your dreams seemed out of reach. It's like you were always on the outside looking in. Healing involves finding your tribe and realizing that your unique perspective is what makes you special.
12th House (The House of the Subconscious and Hidden Things): This is the house of secrets and hidden challenges. Chiron here might mean you had to deal with things no child should have to, often in silence. It's the unseen wounds, the stuff you keep locked away. Healing is about bringing these things into the light, facing them, and finding peace.
xox astro ash
Get your own astrology reading @ astroash.net
TikTok - astroa3h
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loremaster · 21 days
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happy birthday to the guy i've been drawing nonstop for the past several months - here's proof!!! he's a lot of fun to draw!
vivia is also a very important character to me for very personal reasons... (cw: family death)
it didn't take long for me to realize he was gonna be my favorite character in the game - seeing him lounging in places he shouldn't be cracked me up, and so did his morbid catchphrase... i totally related to his autistic tendencies, and his eagerness to dwell on depressing philosophical thoughts. i especially love and relate to his love for literature and literary analysis, especially because my eighth grade english teacher was my dad, who introduced me to so many of what are now my favorite books, and showed me how to look closer into what makes them so good. his story structure classes were unforgettable.
my dad passed away in 2020 and i've been going through fluctuating stages of grief since. it ebbs and flows but never really leaves. a lot of my art and stories from the past 3+ years have been ways to process and try to heal from that trauma (especially my pokemon sword nuzlocke comic, which i'm hoping to finish this summer)
so seeing the strange way vivia deals with death - in general, and the death of a loved one - fascinated me and destroyed me. i've spent many nights curled up in bed sobbing myself to sleep thinking about the heartbreak he goes through in the story, the regrets, the destructive cycle of grief, the depths of the emotions he feels in such a unique way (he's so desensitized he never cries once in the whole game!) and the ways he is able to start to grow and heal from it afterwards.
exploring the queer romantic angle of vivia's character arc is also so so so important to me, not only because i'm a queer person who's wanted to tell queer stories since i was a teen, but because my dad was also a queer person, who didn't get to come out as bisexual until the tail end of his too-short life. i know he connected to a lot of the same Boys In Love stories that I did, and i wish we'd had the opportunity to explore that common ground further. but since i can't, all i can do is the next best thing - making art about it and inspired by it. i think my dad would really like vivia and the stories i've been trying to tell about him. (harold and maude was one of his favorite movies - and if you're a vivia fan and you've never seen it GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. suicidal teen forms an unlikely friendship with a cheerful old lady. you will cry your eyes out. you will want to LIVE)
so, i guess... thanks kodaka for making this specific character that spoke so deeply to me at this specific time in my life and letting me use him as a vehicle to process my own grief in the gayest ways possible. and happy birthday veeva <3
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riddlesdoll · 2 years
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can you rec some of your fav tom riddle fics? 🤍
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omg, someone finally asked this question!!
1.) His Dark Lady - dxddydracomalfoyyy
This is probably the most loveable of them all, my fave book of all time.
2.) A Riddle to Solve - SSTAR2000
Another really unique book, the mc is really powerful although some parts are a bit cringe (?) because it feels like she's everything like those memes on tt of y/n. Overall a good book though (try it out).
3.) Oh, Ophelia - Maebelletree
I really love this too especially because it is a unique book, I haven't read any other tmr books like this.
4.) Now and then - hmmdisgustin
It is just like the title going back and forth from now and then.
5.) Kneel - JulieHoscar
I absolutely abhor Tom Riddle in this book, but I'm still going to recommend it because I still do like this book. This book make me feel ambivalent.
6.) RIDDLE. DISCONTINUED - ravenclaws-
Although this book was discontinued, it still has a very good plot line, it shouldn't have been discontinued, but I guess it is very hard to write a story. Maybe in the future it will be renewed (?) hopefully.
7.) Midmorning - murderarts
This book is heartbreaking, even though it is only a short story, I still feel emotionally attached to it.
That's it for the recommendation, notice I did 7? It's because it is believed that Tom riddle rather likes the number 7 and also because of his seven horcruxes.
DISCLAIMER: All of these are in wattpad!!
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starlightbooklove · 3 months
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Ok, I finally saw Journey to Bethlehem and I can't begin to express how much I loved it, I'm a very difficult person to like a full musical, which is why movies like west side story and in the heights I only liked a few songs, like as movies in general they are good, but not to my personal taste.
Furthermore, the Christian film market usually ranges from very similar, commercial and honestly boring films, to 'reinterpretations' that remove plots and things that do not go at all with the Original material So I wasn't too confident in how good the trailer looked but I was willing to give it a look, thank goodness I did.
As a Christian who was raised in the church with a Christian family, my view of religion was quite Biased by their way of looking at it Which wasn't bad, but I was focused on the religious point of view sometimes excessively, so over time as I grew up and got to know the world around me, I moved away from that, And then after I grew up I returned to wanting to learn for myself without biased opinions about the Bible and to be able to understand it and really feel what everyone said they felt.
And so I came to the conclusion that You can save your self a Lot of time, if you just read the bible as what it is: a book, full of human people with a lot of imperfections, murky, miraculous, heartbreaking, crazy, steamy and even funny (yes, I'm not lying) stories. Religion, so focused on an idea that sometimes not even the Bible itself shares, forgets the human part that fills the stories, which is not very described in it either, but that one can easily interpret.
And thanks to this, criticism of Christians is very well founded on several occasions, and many people have the mistaken idea that the Bible is a 'holy book of holy people'.
That there is nothing more false, the book is holy or is different, unique and/or sacred because of how it was written and because of the stories that happen in it And how accompanied by prayer and the real desire to want to know, you can learn a lot no matter how many times you read it, not because of the people who lived them.
Who were they, let me tell you the test of God's patience.
Do you know Moses? The dude who divided the sea (by God's guidance), did you knew that (this one's funny), thanks to the people he brought out of Egypt after the plagues and that he have to spend 40 years with them in the desert? 🙃 no, it's not a joke and no, it's not an interpretation, literally thanks to the almost constant disobedience of the Israelis after being liberated they were punished with that, and the worst thing is that God had reasons, and I'll give you an example of that, these people decided to worship a damn golden cow that they built Because Moses had taken a long time to return from talking to God (when he went to look for the commandments ironically) less than a year after being freed by God from slavery.
Moses broke the first tables of commandments out of anger, and had to go look for them again, I repeat, no, I'm not playing, this is how it happened in the Bible And it was not only for this reason that they had to stay, it was a list of things that these people did, having as a testimony and example just by being free, still had Incredible faith problems.
The generation that left Egypt never saw or lived in the promised land, the only one who saw it out of mercy was Moses, but it was the descendants who managed to enter the promised land.
Haaa, bet you didn't knew that..
So, as you can see, no, not holy and/or perfect people at all. You might wonder, what does this have to do with the movie? And I will answer you, sorry, i got inspired, but the thing is, this is basically the context of why I liked it so much.
Journey to Bethlehem, it is the story of the birth of Jesus if we remove the religion and the holy holy beautiful peacefull look that some churches like to sell, and start to unite our 4 neurons and think about what, humanly, those people thought and did under the context of that time With fire songs, good performances, very good acting, and Milo (I'm not going to elaborate, I'll just say that I gained a tremendous crush on this man lmao)
And I want to list my favorite points from this in the movie.
-The representation of Mary
Arguably my favorite part of the movie, like, this woman really made me feel what it must have been like for her to carry the son of God.
Because N1: Mary is painted as this woman rejoicing in the news that she will become pregnant overnight when she is engaged, not married, in a patriarchal society With around 1000 laws about what you can and cannot do and the things you cannot do are punishable by death, One of them being being pregnant or having a child out of marriage 🙃🤭 what a blessing right?
And N2: For years Mary has been said to be holy and worshiped when she probably wouldn't approve of that herself, since she grew up with scriptures that said they couldn't worship idols. And they made her an idol. Something to make clear is that the only holy human, biblically speaking, is Jesus. Mary was a virgin, not a saint, she had more children with her husband after having Jesus, she had a life beyond him.
And this movie brings that out, it makes the most of it and I love it.
It shows what a struggle it must have been for her to have such a burden on her, she was young (in those days people married young), perhaps a teenager, Yes, they were raised differently and at the end of the day he was about to get married, but still, as I said, the Bible leaves out a lot of the human factor.
It can say that it passes a beginning and an end but it does not give you the means to connect both parts In the Bible, Mary respectfully accepts the news that she is going to have a baby, and the film respects that, but Mary was human, you know the fear and absolute madness must cause that an angel to appear to you out of nowhere and tell you that you are going to have a son who is going to be savior and king and then disappear (appreciation for the angel Gabriel btw My man would be me if i was an angel lmao) How the hell do you explain that to your parents? To your fiancé, no matter how versed everyone was in the scriptures, no one, NO ONE thought Jesus was going to be born from a humble virgin, Literally part of the reason (spoiler alert lmao) Jesus was killed was because no one believed that the king they were waiting for was a simple carpenter who was born in a manger. This probably included Mary herself, certainly her parents, and much more, Joseph. And she knew it, of course she knew it, she knew it was true but she had to know how hard it was to believe it and how much trouble she could get into for being pregnant. It's kind of expected that Mary would have doubts, rightly so which is why I love love the song "mother to a savior and king" i just feel that it had to be exactly what she thought.
... Give me eyes to see
Just how I can be
Carrying your son when I need You
To carry me
...Should a miracle feel like an anchor
Bringing shame upon my family
This burden is too heavy
I need strength to be
A mother to a savior and king
... You said, "Do not fear"
So Lord, if you are here
Help me have the faith you have in me
Give me eyes to see just how I can be
Mother to a savior
When I need saving
Like aaaa Chills, literal chills And I love it because it doesn't occur to people how society must have seen Mary, we see it as a blessing because we know how it all ended, but they didn't know. And they lived in a very very different society, if everyone had found out, they would have stoned Mary, that is the reality that they don't talk much about at Christmas.
Another fact that I liked is that Mary had to travel, traveling in this time does not imply the same as traveling in that time, with her 9 months of pregnancy (Because she gave birth as soon as she arrived in Bethlehem) on a donkey 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I don't think I have to elaborate much, i love how they portrayed here. You can say people knew how things were, they were used to it, yes, but Maria had never been pregnant and no matter how adapted you are to something, You can't erase the physical challenge of traveling with a giant belly in those conditions.
And let's not even talk about the birth, where they were in the city that: it was full of soldiers seeking to kill her and her baby, they broadcast the news that they would be killing babies and pregnant mothers In search of finding her, which is why they did not find asylum and had to go to a stable.
I think with the idea of ​​☺️ ah, Jesus was born in a manger ☺️We forget that 💀 oh, Jesus was born in a manger 💀 I don't know about you, but I think that is not the ideal place to give birth And yet the representations of that are so sugar coated We literally have a song called "Silent Night" tell me, explain to me what part of giving birth where the animals and their excrement are because an entire army is chasing you trying to kill you, sounds like a peaceful night????
Another detail is that Joseph (who I am obviously going to talk about) logically had to act as midwife for Mary, because no one was with them, no one wanted to be with them, that sounds like a horror story honestly, and no, I'm not taking away from how beautiful the whole purpose of Jesus is and everything is.
I am only pointing out the facts, which are raw and very Real about a situation like this, this was the reality as it is written, the Bible leaves things out But the rawness in several acts is never lacking.
One last thing to add is that I was afraid at first that they would portray Mary as a feminist ahead (by centuries) of her time But in an annoying and very political way because of how the movie started, And that they were going to make her not want the pregnancy and make it as if they had violently forced her, thank God that didn't happen, i loved her, The actress did a tremendous job interpreting her with personality without losing the respect (that is noted in the Bible) Mary had for God and the giant task she was given, and I actually liked that twist That perhaps Mary and Joseph did not know each other before they got engaged, which would not be unusual at that time. And that Mary said at the beginning of the movie that she believed she was destined for bigger things 🙃.They give more personality to this icon that we all have of her and I love it.
-The representation of Joseph
Starting with the fact that I have a big fat crush now on Milo Mannheim thanks to him (not important at all actually)
I think everyone, whether Christian or not, knows that Joseph is a secondary character every time the story of Jesus' birth is mentioned, even invisible I dare say. And I was always curious because of how he leaves after he is born in the Bible, it is simply not mentioned again and this is why I think there is this kind of unconscious belief that Jesus only had one parental figure and that was Mary.
When this can easily be contradicted by the little information we have in the Bible; Joseph was known as Joseph the carpenter, and who ended up being a carpenter? (Flashbacks to Sabrina lmao) Jesus, No matter how holy and amazing he was, Jesus grew up having to learn things, he wasn't born knowing, and obviously Mary didn't teach him how to work with wood so it's pretty logical to think that his stepfather (idk How to call it) taught him. That even if we leave this out (which is after the birth of Jesus) Joseph was THE man ok And this is with biblical foundation, he believed Mary and decided to continue with the wedding despite how crazy it all sounded, he helped her during the trip to Bethlehem, ALONE, he had to practically attend the birth
And the film captures that so, so well, I have no words to describe how impressed and excited I was to see how they highlighted so many things that I knew because yk, they are in the Bible but I hadn't been aware of noticing before.
How difficult it must have been for him to make the decision to believe Mary (which, let's be honest, takes a lot of faith to believe something like that) To follow her, and his song, my God, his song is so good. It's perfect for showing a morally gray human decision and the way he delivered that presentation ugh I just feel from my heart that it was exactly what Joseph thought. Cause:
I'm completely torn in two
Half of me believes her,
while the other half needs proof
This was no inmaculate conception
Just the ultimate deception
Gilty to the bone we should have her stoned now
Wait don't you throw your stoned no don't yoy judge her i look into her eyes i think i love her
I just 🫠🫠🫠 Jesus Christ
You don't come out of that movie without half falling for Joseph and that's something I never imagined saying in my life lmao
It was a very human way, full of personality and commitment, to portray the character. beyond the attractiveness of both the actor and the goofy personality they gave him. They gave it this degree of seriousness and part of the story that shows very clearly what they themselves say in the film and that is that God did not choose only Mary, She couldn't do everything she had to do alone, and among those things was raising a child that was given to her overnight and that she had to carry for nine months, and that does not deviate from history even though there are those who say no, it is written but I think it needed the human interpretation for people to see it, as I feel that they need with many stories from the bible. They definitely took their liberty to create the love story and I'm not complaining, I never thought at all that there must have been a lot of love both between them and for God for them to be able to go through all of that, And I like to believe that if it was like that, the love they had for each other, because only someone who loves another person so much is willing to go through all that, cause very easily Joseph could receive confirmation from God that what Mary said was true and say well, that's not my problem, but he decided to take responsibility with her, Which shows why God chose them, so yes, it has its freedoms but I don't think it is essentially far from reality.
Herodes
O. M. GOOOOODDD.
Antonio Banderas ate with his performance because damn I could feel the arrogance, the complete pleasure that those kings had for being rich and powerful, with that man And he didn't have much screen time, despite how comical he gets at times he manages to show how dangerous Herod was.
That, they didn't show it but that man ordered babies and pregnant mothers to be killed in the end, just for fear that they would take away his throne and his power, out of complete caress. And Antonio showed a funny and iconic man but also dangerous and capable of that and, and also they gave him the best song.
And i'm not Even joking, 'good to be king' is what Disney tried (and failed) to do with "Wish", It has all the magic and that lyricism that shows rough and raw things with incredible music That sticks to you despite how bad the bad guy is, from the villain songs of Disney's 2D movies, It's at the level of "poor unfortunate souls" and the Interpretation, God It's one of the best parts of the movie, weeks go by and I still can't get it out of my head
Finally, the relationship of Mary and Joseph.
I feel that all our lives, after thousands of times telling us the story of the birth of Jesus, the relationship of Mary and Joseph never had any importance beyond their role in the birth. So I loved the representation of that here, the way they took this theme of a planned marriage, which could very easily have been a reality, Along with the human and emotional reaction that these people must have had at the time, they give life and depth to Mary and Joseph, with the pros and cons.
With how difficult it was but also how strong they must have been as a couple to carry out the huge task they had, it made me see it from a more human point of view and give more value to their relationship.
They took their liberties, there are things that are super funny and have that absurd touch, but it is a story full of a lot of respect for the source, and full of a wonderful and human interpretation of of this great story, You don't feel it is religious, because it isn't, the music isn't just there and they are all very good (something that doesn't happen with all musicals).
And it is simply beautiful, it is made with love and it shows, they took advantage of every penny of their budget and put out this piece of art that I feel everyone should see for Christmas And that I would like to tattoo permanently on my brain lmao.
Go watch it, it's absolutely worth it.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading my entire almost essay of the movie, I hope you find your Joseph in life🫶😂
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chirpsythismorning · 2 years
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My favorite combination of endgame byler proof dates back to the promotion for season two (bc of course it does)!
About a week before s2 premiered, David Harbour did an interview, and deadass the only thing that makes any sense in regards to what he could possibly be referring to here, is endgame Byler:
"We’re talking about ending Stranger Things at either season four or season five. I know there is an end to the story. It’s a very beautiful end. We’ve already been laying out the pipework. There are easter eggs in season one that you won’t get until season four. You’ll look back and say ‘we’ve been seeing this story the whole time, we just haven’t realized it’. To me, that’s wonderful.”
Now, one could try to argue that David was referring to Will’s sexuality/feelings for Mike here, and I would agree, at least partly, because David’s wording sounds an awful lot like what Noah said recently in his interview with Variety:
"I mean, it’s pretty clear this season that Will has feelings for Mike. They’ve been intentionally pulling that out over the past few seasons. Even in Season 1, they hinted at that and slowly, slowly grew that storyline. I think for Season 4, it was just me playing this character who loves his best friend but struggles with knowing if he’ll be accepted or not, and feeling like a mistake and like he doesn’t belong. Will has always felt like that."
Where it gets complicated though, is that if David was referring to solely Will sexuality/unrequited feelings in this interview, then it doesn’t really make sense for him to frame it as ‘wonderful’.
But, it is important to note that David was talking about the ending, not the beginning of the end, which is what s4 ended up being. His assumption back then, was based on his knowledge of the ending, and how long he hoped the show would go for them to close off that story.
S4 obviously wasn’t a 'beautiful', nor 'wonderful' conclusion to Will’s story arc involving his sexuality/feelings for Mike being built up since s1. So, even if that’s all David was referring to, we are still yet to see the payoff.
This is where the damning proof combo comes in...
Most of you probably know, but as promotion for s2, Spotify collaborated with Netflix for official playlists dedicated to each of the ST characters. It was said that these playlists were specialized and unique to each characters traits.
But especially when it comes to the first song on each of these playlists, almost all of them are instantly recognizable as to why we can assume they chose that song, for that specific character, to start off their playlist. And arguably, even for the most casual of viewers.
For El it’s, Papa Don’t Broach. Pretty self explanatory.
For Will, it’s Should I Stay or Should I Go. Again, self explanatory.
For Mike, it's Smalltown Boy...
To those who don't know, Smalltown Boy (1984) is an unequivocal gay anthem about a young, gay man in the 80's who experiences homophobia and alienation in his small home-town, only to leave (run away) by the end, in order to be happy.
The music video leans even more blatantly into this narrative. Here it is beside this shot of Mike in 4x01 (one of the very few POV shots we got from him in s4, might I add), and it fits quite well with the Smalltown Boy agenda...
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To be clear, this isn't just some song the queer community loved and so it turned into a gay anthem overtime. Because, yeah, there are definitely some songs that lyrically just feel like they could be queer (despite not intentionally being), and so the gays sort of claim it and it gains even more meaning and importance over time. However, that is not the case here. This song is undoubtedly one of the most intentionally gay songs of the 80's. And a heartbreaking SYNTH one at that!!!
If the hints for Will were intentional back then (confirmed), then it’s highly likely Smalltown Boy being the first song on Mike’s official playlist, may just be one of the many Easter eggs pointing to the fact that Mike has also been gay (and in love with Will??) this whole time.
Also worth mentioning that when Finn was recently asked about M*leven's relationship in season 5 (the ending), he had this to say;
"I don’t know, I’m really interested… I don’t know, I’m interested kind of like for the end of the show kinda in general (…) Who’s gonna stay in Hawkins, who’s gonna leave. Who’s gonna try to find a life outside. Is there even gonna be a Hawkins? I don’t know. But yeah. I’d be interested to see if Mike stays in Hawkins, or tries to find a life outside of his town. And also, you know it’s hard to tell, like obviously with Eleven and his relationship, but I hope they find, you know, happiness."
When they make-up after fighting in 4x04, Mike tells Will that Hawkins isn't the same without him. After literally listing off all of their friends, basically separating them from Will, "They're great... but-" sort of confirms to us that no matter what Hawkins has to offer, without Will, it's not the same to Mike. Which means if Will isn't going to stay in Hawkins at the end (he won't), Mike probably wont either.
TBH, Will and Mike both having feelings for each other since the beginning, and ending up together, fits a whole lot better with: ‘we’ve been seeing this story the whole time, we just haven’t realized it. And I think that’s wonderful’, than an unrequited love story does....
And the fact that all of these easter eggs, for both Mike and Will, started picking up more prominently after season 2, makes the Duffers whole "what is s2?" act right now even more funny...
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Farm witch friends, you have done the coven proud.
We've got so many good recs it's going to take a few weeks to share them all!
Starting with these that were recommended more than once, if you haven't spend some time with these fan favorites, you should check them out now! And leave the authors some love, of course.
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Everyday Magic (houdini74/@mostlyinthemorning)
Each magic story is so unique, so sweet, so... D&P! 
I couldn’t pick just one of these wonderfully variable scenarios that all include just a little (or maybe a lot of) magic added to the perfect scene setting and banter. 
Favored Nations (@blueink3)
ALL OF IT! It’s my go-to when I’m feeling down, when I need to revise our boys. The characters, writing, and plot are all amazing. 
Amazing world building, very in character slow burn.
The ultimate slow burn, the perfect love story set amongst the wonders of Broadway and NYC.
It’s just so, so good!  I am a sucker for secret romance fics, and this one has that and so much more.  Add in some Shakespearean theater with a twist and just the right amount of angst and sexiness, it’s just perfect! I love it so much.  
This author knows David, Patrick, and the NY theater world inside and out. The volume and level of specificity, volume, tenderness, anxiety, and love of these characters and worlds is astounding. The characterization is so vivid, it's the easiest fic to forget isn't canon.
Fifteen hundred miles (morehuman)
I go back to this fic a lot! I just love the idea of them both challenging themselves and finding out what they are capable of.
The most incredible journey, a gift to go along with them in it.
I carry these heart-shapes only for you (@ladyflowdi and @ships-to-sail)
I love this transportative, visual feast of historic fiction. Luscious WW2 Paris is so vividly portayed and David’s wild, wealthy, LGBTIQ+out flamboyance juxtaposed to the farm-boy turned military-man Patrick is sexy and sweet. It undoes me every time. I actually first came to the piece via FairManor’s outstanding podfic. Both the text and the podfic are high art. It’s not just one of my favorite fan-fics. It’s one of my favorite stories of ALL time in any genre. I read/listen and I am at the Gaston, riding on the back of Patrick’s motorcycle, kissing in windmills, eating crepes, touring junk shops & dancing naked to 40’s blues. I’d give anything to see this as a film with Dan & Noah & cast. I want a leather bound print copy of it. Also - The epilogue is progressive, heartbreaking thoughtful genius. I’ve just finished rereading & listening to it again. Each time there are new Easter eggs to be found. Joyous. 
It's just the most beautiful piece of writing ever written. Descriptive, lyrical, hot, stunning, heartbreaking. It has everything. 
I’d swing with you for the fences (@nontoxic-writes)
Achingly sweet and fluffy all set in the perfect baseball/famous AU with secret relationship AND musician Patrick. I come back to reread this one a lot!
What isn't there to love?  Baseball, long distance relationship, sex, songs, coming out to the parents, coming out to the team, coming out to the world, excellent use of side characters....I could go on and on.  There are so many amazing fics out there, but I've read this one at least a dozen times! 
Incorrect (@lisamc-21)
You can hear David saying it, but now picture the Maldives.
A beautifully written story of our boys meeting on vacation. Their trip is so sweet and so hot, and when they say goodbye, it's heartbreaking. The twist- they are both famous in their own worlds but don’t recognize each other so don’t realize who the other has hooked up with. When their week ends, they try to maintain a long-distance friendship as they learn who the other is. What was a hot hookup becomes a slow burn, and it’s amazing!!
The Last Rose Video (@distractivate)
Gorgeous writing, the perfect mix of canon and AU, clever plot, great dialogue.  The fic I read over and over.  It’s as comforting as a warm blanket. 
Swoon. SWOON.
Strike Anywhere (@madlori)
Hot firefighters. Hot sex. Hot romance. But like in a Sandra loves Keanu sliding out of a speeding bus kind of way.
Hot hot hot!  That’s the first work. Then- the author developed a prequel that is also hot but is also funny, loving, sweet. Love fireman Patrick!
This enemies-to-lovers-to-secret-husbands story featuring Patrick Brewer as a firefighter, is deliciously tropey and blazing hot, but also it’s written with such authentic emotion and perfect banter that it keeps me coming back to read it whenever I need a mood lift. 
Such great heights (@likerealpeopledo-on-ao3)
Great story, the very best jokes, and the wedding date chapter is so good it would work as a stand alone fic. 
It's got the mother of all fake dating scenarios, and Stevie in this in among the best I've ever read her. It's also very very funny. All the times when they say Feel The Air crack me up every time!
Sustineo (@rockinhamburger)
This is a perfectly paced one-shot AU that builds a world in which David is a brilliant, stormy, reclusive artist whose whose treatment by the press (and one Sebastien Raine) has made him unwilling to engage with the world…. Until he meets an intuitive and kind art writer who sees him for everything that he is (and can be). All of characters here are perfect and I love the descriptions of David’s art. 
Incredibly hot art fic.
You can fall (sweetsirius/@wordthieve)
It takes the David and Patrick rescue each other theme of the show and makes the stakes even higher. Plus it's just a genuinely beautiful piece of writing.
The story arc and pacing are fantastic. I love how David and Patrick's relationship develops and how Patrick learns to open himself up again after grief. It's incredibly well written. I've read it so many times, from full read thrus to dipping in and out of my favorite moments and chapters.
Patrick is so heartbroken, but then he meets David. So romantic, and feels lived in.
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azrielgreen · 3 months
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I feel like no matter how hard I try I can’t get over jealousy and insecurity and constantly comparing myself to other writers in the fandom. It’s either I don’t write enough, or I don’t write fast enough, I don’t write interesting or unique enough. If I get kudos, someone gets more, if I get comments, someone gets more thoughtful comments. It’s like a dark spiral in my brain. Do you have any tips on pushing through despite all the inner turmoil and noise? I’d be very grateful for your help!! 🖤
Hello, love, I'm sorry for the delay in answering. I wanted to give your Ask the proper attention in answering it.
Comparison is the death of joy.
I think jealousy and comparison in fandom is rife and no matter how much positivity and success someone projects, they too have had their dark moments comparing hit counters and kudos. In a fandom of THIS size it's deeply unhealthy, I personally believe, for us all to be so interconnected and visible.
I also believe that writers should write for themselves and the joy of creating something and crafting it, never expressly FOR the outcome of comments/attention but of course, that's becoming the norm now. People write to be popular. I see so many people at this point in the fandom not getting anywhere near the same amount of interactions they were a year ago, so comparisons and jealousy unfortunately become widespread, and equally, cliques begin to form to police the remaining attention as it slowly simmers down.
My tips for pushing through this would be first and foremost, write for yourself. Keep your true passion alive by writing what you fucking LOVE! Writing for other people will only ever go so far because attention wanders, interest fades and hyperfixations dissolve. If you write for yourself first, and share second, then you'll always be true to your inner creator and you'll always have ideas, passions and authentic stories coming alive inside you.
Secondly, and I know how hard this is for people, but stop comparing as much as you can. There will always be someone who has more than you and there are people who have less than you. Writing is art, art is to make people feel things they would not otherwise feel. To provoke humanity and lead us towards self exploration. To give comfort, empathy, guidance, joy, cathartic heartbreak and much more! I think so much of the true meaning of writing has been lost by the imposing domination of social media in fandom. I always recommend people trying to find that spark again, that little flash of magic that reminds you why you started.
And thirdly, this is hardest to hear, I know, but when you feel like this, it's usually a good indication to take a break. When you feel anxious, unhappy or low, you're going the wrong way. Move away from what is causing this, especially if it's anything on the internet - a dangerous and often toxic microcosm with an echo chamber effect.
Writing in real life is a beautiful thing, too.
Write something just for you, don't tell anyone, then orphan it, never read the comments, and move on. Rekindle your passion however you can, romanticise your methods, find new sources of inspiration and above all, please, have fun! and if you're not having fun in fandom - a place intended for fun and fuck all else - then please, take a break, love. Nothing is more important than your mental health.
P.S - also take into a account how MASSIVELY skewed A03 stats are due to longevity/legacy fics. There is ✨NO WAY ON EARTH✨ if I posted YD today it would make it into the top 1000 fics out of 24k and that would be wonderful still, that has always been my experience in the past. No comparison is ever justified or solid and it is truly the death of joy. Write for you, for your friends, and the people who will read it in 10 years time who NEED it. Nothing else matters.
💜💜💜
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drangercore · 2 years
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Love and Other Historical Accidents by @pacific-rimbaud​
Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy never intended to blow up their life's work, but that's rather what they've gone and done. Now they're trapped 200 years in the past, with a broken Time Turner, a missing snuff box, a handful of overly-eligible daughters, and a House-elf in a cable knit cardigan. It will require the combined power of their keen intellects to get them home, if they'd stop arguing long enough to use them. As it turns out, history is just one damned accident after another.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Relationship: Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy
Art by @gingerhuneybee​, @jjuuppiter​, @jaxxartbox​, & yours truly
My first fanbind! 
L&OHA is an impeccable story and is so very dear to me. This was the fic that made me go “I want that on my shelf!”, so here we are. 
keep reading for more binding info and to see my gushing on the fic.
QUICK SPECS
153,854 words | 571 pages | 5″ x 8.5″ 
Binding Method: 3 Piece In Boards Bradel  Body Font: Adobe Caslon Pro Decorative Font: IM Fell English
I am very proud of this book, having accomplished many firsts with it. My first book that I rounded and backed, sewed double-core endbands on, painted the edges, and used toner reactive foil and HTV on!
ON THE STORY
Sighs. What more can I say? It’s simply brilliant. A unique multifaceted story with incredible dynamics, clever foreshadowing, great character studies of Draco and Hermione, and such beloved original characters. It’s comedic and refreshing but it also takes on grief and goodbyes, and heartbreak. It’s fucking romantic and also So nuanced. I dislike stories that spoon-feed every little thing about the character, so the parlor tricks on this one? Ate every crumb of it. It was filled with implications and was misleading in the best sense. You’ve got to be an astute reader to catch some things the first round (which I definitely wasn’t). 
While it doesn’t entirely shy away from typical lovey-dovies, the regard for mundanity and the inconsequential, I just find more inherently romantic. The exploration on time travel and the vivid prose further underscores the depth of PR’s talent. She captures so eloquently, the mind of an extremely logical person in a very illogical experience. I saw myself in Hermione so many times. The story demands to be read again and revels upon doing so. Pacific Rimbaud is such an incredible writer *sobs* all her works are simply a masterpiece. 
That said, this beautiful story deserves to be turned into a physical book.
DESIGN PLAN (or lack thereof) 
This is my first fanfic project and my third book overall which I must say was quite a leap considering my very little binding experience. I think the demon small niggling part at the back of my head got the best of me and positively thought she could make a relatively fastidious book despite the lack of skill. BUT nothing can stop me when I am overly enthusiastic about something, thus began my 2 month research, soaking up every gobbet of binding info in reach. As far as my book binding journey goes, gathering supplies was the hardest part lol. Bookbinding is not a common hobby in the Philippines so it was tedious to to look for materials and/or to settle on alternatives.
I credit 70% of the 4 month stretch of this project to my indecision. The novelty and sheer excitement with a new hobby, I think, divested me to properly conceptualize heh. I redid my typeset 1 billion times because I kept switching softwares: Word→ Pages→ InDesign. I probably have 8 versions of the typeset that will never see the light of day. Anyway, I did finally get the stuff done. Here’s my little design dump:
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Nothing symbolic about the design really. I just worked around elements I thought were appropriate with the regency era and time traveling aspect: vines/ flowers and the time turner. I tried to reflect PR’s elegant writing in the book so hopefully I did it some justice. I added my fave works for this fic too and even drew fanart myself, here are some of them:
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BINDING
I watched DAS bookbinding religiously during my research phase and I knew then that I wanted to someday follow his in-boards 3-piece bradel tutorial, but it wasn’t supposed to be so early on in my binding journey. One look at this book however threw me off course. It was incredibly ambitious of me, so I guess I deserved all the stress I endured in the process. I was supposed to trim the edges in between glueing the spine and rounding/backing, but I only had my poorly sharpened Php145 wood chisel to finish the task. That and nursing the finger my chisel wounded took enough time for the glue to dry, so I was fiddling with a stiff textblock the entire time after. I learnt along the way that a blow dryer and bone folder will be your best friends (and plenty of patience). I’d also like to apologize to my neighbors if you heard any hammering at 1am 😳 
The covers were... finicky. For some reason, midway, I decided to make either covers differently, and all to the good because the one made following DAS’ tutorial ended up slightly warping. DAS’ was with two 1.25mm boards glued together, while my experimental one was with a single 2.5mm board of which I peeled layers off of to reduce its thickness in half as needed.  (see pictures below for reference)
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A lot of how the book looks like now is either born out of impulse or a desperate remedy. The book in turn is very gold. Chapter headers were impulsively foiled with gold laser reactive foil (so much for illustrating the headers only to cover them up haha *eye twitches*). 
I accidentally stained the edges while smoothing with black sandpaper so I covered the mess with an admix of Sakura acrylic paint in black and Liquitex acrylic ink in iridescent gold (Paint order: 1 layer gold- 2 thin layers black- 3 layers gold).
 I am very proud of my sewn endbands as this was my very first attempt at doing a double-core. I used DMC cotton threads in cream (712) and gold (E3821). Below is a close-up because why not. (as you can see, I had some flaking on the paint, luckily this was on the bottom edge so I fixed the issue on the more visible sides.)
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I don’t like the bookcloth selection where I’m from (if there’s anything at all) so I made my own with pastel blue eco-ramie cloth, flour paste, and 80gsm paper. I ordered my fabric online and the shade was too icing-like. It looked tacky so I bleached to lighten. The white cloth also came from the same fabric which I bleached till it paled to white.
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Titling was one of my biggest worries because majority of binders I saw were using a cricut to cut HTV. I almost entertained the idea of cutting it manually or even painting or embroidery, but to my luck, I found a local shop that offers vinyl ! cutting !! service !!! I sent them my design and they cut and weeded the vinyl for me. I chose white for the title and metallic gold for the vine detail. I messed up applying the word “historical” though, but let’s pretend i did it on purpose for the vintage feel.
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Four months of faffing later, I have this story in corporeal form! Overall, I’m overjoyed with the outcome and I’d like to thank PR for the opportunity to have such a wonderful story on my shelf (and free to be read by anyone!)
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! 
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endthedream · 1 year
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a dream come true
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Pairing: Cupid!Jaemin x Human!Reader (she/her)
Summary: As the son of Cupid, Jaemin has been surrounded by love his entire life. But what happens when he gets sent on earth to pass a test that will determine his whole life? And what happens when he breaks the only rule he was ever given?
Words: 16k
Story color: soft pink
Note: Hello! As you can see, this was supposed to be out on Valentine’s Day, but since I got really sick and kept up by a lot of work at my job, I only finished writing now. I hope you can still enjoy it and that you are excited for more! Always remember to spread kindness~
masterlist of 'nct as supernatural creatures'
Love. One word. 4 letters. Billions of songs about it. And almost every person on this world is craving it.
It’s a marvelous feeling.
Racing hearts, sweaty hands, butterflies in your belly. You name it all.
Jaemin has been surrounded by it all his life. Being the son of Cupid, it was given. From the moment he was born he learned the main aspect of love. From the basic fact of what it is to how to spark it in others.
He has never experienced it himself, being held up at the house of his father, having to learn everything about the subject of love.
“The lovers, obviously. This card represents a unique bond and deep connection between two people. Its presence in a reading reflects a very authentic relationship that is built on mutual trust and respect.”, Jaemins teacher speaks, showing him the said tarot card. “Then there also is the card two cups. This one often reflects the commitment made to one another within a monogamous relationship. Then there is one of my favorites. The ace of cups. It heralds a new relationship filled with excitement, joy and happiness. This is the type of bliss you once experienced as a teenager in love, with butterflies in your stomach and a desire to spend every waking minute with your new love.”
Jaemin doesn’t even listen anymore. He already knows all this stuff, having taught himself the meaning of the love tarot cards by reading the books about them in his dad’s library. Even though Jaemin spends every waking hour hearing about the subject of love, he can’t seem to get enough of it. Not of the facts and statistics, no, but of the actual experience of falling into deep and unconditional love.
At night when he is supposed to sleep, he sneaks out of his room to read novels, the once his father tried to hide from him. By now he almost read all of the once he found. Sometimes he catches himself daydreaming about how his life would be if he was a human, living down on earth and being free to experience life in his full grace. Going on late night drives, going to high school and prom, getting a job, going grocery shopping but actually just putting sweets in his cart, having movie nights where he just ends up falling asleep half way through the movie, buying a shitty car that breaks down at the most unfortunate moments, but keeping it because he build up an emotional connection with it and most importantly fall in love. Fall into unconditional, breathtaking, gut shaking, heart wrenching love. God, does he crave that. But he can’t have it.
Jaemin can’t fall in love. Why? Because his father forbids him to. Even though love is the most desired feeling, his father banned his son from feeling it. Because with love comes heartbreak. The pain that consumes your body, that converts your thoughts and changes you. It turns you into something you never wanted to be, broken and sad. It leaves you huddled up in a corner, shaking and screaming into the void. It’s something you don’t even whish your greatest enemies.
In Cupids eyes he saved his son from this potential misery. In Jaemin’s eyes his father represses him. He holds Jaemin back from living the life he always wanted to live. Jaemin feels trapped, wronged and alone, held back from the one thing he always desired to have.
“Jaemin? Are you even listening?”, his teacher asks him.
“Sorry, Ma’am.”, he stutters out. “I was just caught up in my own thoughts.”
She speaks, adjusting the reading glasses that are lying at the bridge of her nose. “Were you daydreaming again? You know what your father says about daydreaming. It’s-“
“A waste of time and keeps me away from my duties. I know, I know.”, he interrupts her. “I’ve heard this a million times before.”
“If you heard it a million times, then why do you keep doing it? You need to learn, and you can’t learn if you don’t pay attention.”, she says, taking her glasses off and looking at him with a stern yet slightly sympathetic look. She always confuses him. One moment she is the most stern and bullheaded person, and in the next moment she is empathic and friendly. It’s like she carries two completely different personalities inside of her and she switches them up however she likes. “You have a very big test soon, which dedicates your future, Jaemin. It’s not good to waste your time with unnecessary things like sinking into your thoughts and dreaming about other realities. You have to put your focus on the present, the here and now. You must realize the weight of your situation.”
Jaemin nods, knowing that her statement has its truth, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to know the responsibilities he has to face soon, because this is not the life he wants.
“Okay, it’s getting late. How about you turn into bed earlier today and we continue with this tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”, he croaks out. “Sounds good.” His teacher gives him one last smile, before packing up and leaving him in the room by himself.
Instead of going to bed though, Jaemin grabs himself a book and sits down on the chair on his balcony. It’s crazy how his house, more like a mansion, is so big, filled to the brim with people, yet he feels so alone. His balcony is the only place he doesn’t have to feel that way. It’s like for a moment everything, his whole life, is different. He isn’t Jaemin, the son of the god of love and desire, no, he is just Jaemin, the boy with dreams and hopes. He doesn’t have responsibilities, he just exists. He breaths, he smiles, he feels. And most importantly, he dreams. He has the time to read and think about the life he will never have. And he does exactly that until the sun starts to peek out and the sky goes from dark to light.
“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.” Jaemin pauses, the spoon full of cereal halfway in his mouth.
“What?”, he lets out, thinking he didn’t hear right.
“Your father wants to talk to you after breakfast.”, the little angel repeats.
“Why?”, he asks, looking at the winged creature. He grew up around angels, most of them hired as maids around the house, doing the chores his father is too busy to do.
“I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. He just said it’s urgent. So, I advise you to hurry up and go talk to him.”
Suddenly losing his appetite, he drops his spoon back into the bowl and stands up. It’s pretty known to the common folk that the gods are occupied people, having to watch over the humans and do their assigned work. For your dad it’s finding two individuals with matching traits and hitting them with his arrow, to make them fall in love with each other until the end of their time. That keeps up most of his time. Because not only does he have to find people, but he also has to match things like personality traits, interests, hobbies. You name it.
That’s why Jaemin rarely sees him. Well, actually, he never sees him. Once in a blue moon maybe. If he’s lucky he sees him fly by and get a little hello from him, but that didn’t happen in a while. Especially with Valentines Day nearing. So, it’s understandable why his stomach dropped to the ground and his hands started to shake, the minute the angel mentioned his father.
A small ‘Come in’ is heard from the door after Jaemin knocked on it. He takes a deep breath, before opening the door to his father’s office and taking a step in.
“Ah, son, you’re here. Great. Take a seat, I will be right with you.” He watches as his dad scribbles down a few things into a notebook as he takes a seat on the chair in front of his father’s desk. His office looks exactly like you would imagine it to look. Pink and red. Hearts everywhere and a few arrows on the wall. The furniture a dark brown wood, creating a nice contrast to the bright pink in the rest of the room. When Jaemin was a child, he once asked his dad why he made his office look like a teenage girl who just experienced her first love. To that he just got a small chuckle and a short answer. “Because it reminds me of what my job is supposed to be.” That has stuck with Jaemin. To every normal person that was just a simple sentence, stating a simple statement, but to Jaemin it changed his whole view on his dad’s job. If his dad has to turn his office into an exploded love bomb, then the job itself can’t be the most enjoyable one. He knows it’s stressful and time consuming, but he doesn’t want to imagine how lonely and depressing it is to watch people constantly fall in love while all you do is sit in your office and work on the next couple. That’s definitely not the life Jaemin wants.
“I decided what your test is going to be about.”, Cupid speaks, sitting down on his chair. “You know how it is my job to find people who fit together and then bring them together.” Jaemin nods, intertwining his slightly shaking hands and lying them down on his lap.
To say he was nervous was an understatement. This test is important, not only to him or his father, but also to the other God’s. He has to proof that he was worth doing this job and if he fails this test… he doesn’t even want to think about that.
“I do this work from here, far away from where the love is actually happening. So I decided in order for you to pursue this work, you have to see it, face to face. I’m sending you down on earth and your task is it to make two people fall in love by Valentine’s Day.”
“Valentine’s Day? That’s in 6 days.”, Jaemin exclaims with shock layering his voice.
“I know. That’s why you’re going tomorrow.” His father turns to him, leaning his arms on the table in front of him and looking his son into his eyes.
“I’m sending you to a high school, teenagers are easy to set up and would potentially not be to hard of a challenge. But since this is still a test, there is one condition. You can not use any powers. All you are allowed to use is your knowledge of love.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“You can talk to people, do nice acts. It’s your part to figure that out.”
For a while both of them just sit there in silence, Jaemin having to let all of this sink in.
“I know this is a lot for you and you may think that it’s too hard, but I know you can do it, Jaemin. You are good at what you do and you do it with a passion, and that’s what matters.” His father smiles at him and Jaemin swears he could have teared up at that moment. The last time he heard his father told him encouraging words was probably when he was 7 years old and fell off trying to balance on a rope that the angels build for him. His father helped him up and told him to try it again, giving him the at advice that with time and practice comes knowledge and safety. So Jaemin tried and tried, over and over again, until finally he crossed the whole rope without falling off. Cupid hugged the younger boy and told him he was proud of him.
“Thanks, dad.”, he mumbles quickly, picking at the skin of his nails.
“Go back up and prepare for tomorrow. I’m going to send you down on earth pretty early.”
With another nod, Jaemin stands up and walks towards the door. But before he can grab the doorknob, his father speaks up again. “And Jaemin?”
“Yes?”, he turns around.
“Don’t fall in love with anyone.”
Day 1
Jaemin has been dreaming about going to high school ever since he started reading about them in books, but actually going to one – even if it’s just for a week – is making him completely nervous. He spent the whole night trying to make a plan on how to pass his test and he came up with nothing. Nothing at all. He never actually made people fall in love. Yes, he has read about it, learned all things about it and even watched his dad do it, but doing it himself is frightening.
Walking through the hallways is making that even worse. He never realized how many students there actually are in a high school. The halls are big, way too big for Jaemin’s liking. Everything is decorated with hearts and flyers that talk about Valentines Day.
“Na Jaemin?”, an elderly woman calls out his name.
“Yes.”, his voice cracks a little, making him clear his throat before continuing to speak. “Yes, that’s me.”
“Great. Follow me.”, she says walking through a door. Jaemin walks after her, ignoring the stares of some students. “This is a map of the school, and this is your timetable. It has all your classes on, where they are and how you can get to them. I assigned someone to help you get used to the settings. She should be here in any second.”
“She-“, Jaemin gets cut off by someone storming into the room.
“Sorry, Ms. Johnson, I overslept and then the bus driver started to flirt with me again and said he will only let me on if I go on a date with him, so obviously I said no. Then he had the audacity to say I should at least hike my skirt up a bit when sitting down to give him some motivation to drive annoying kids to school and then I almost kicked him in the nuts, but luckily-“
Jaemin has never heard someone talk so much in such a short amount of time. He stands there the whole time, mouth hanging open, trying to follow a thing you are saying.
“Y/N, sweetheart, you are rambling again.”
“Oh, right, yeah.”, you say, taking a huge breath. “Anyway, you must be the new guy. I’m Y/N and I’m in charge of making sure you are not getting lost in here.” You reach your hand out to Jaemin, which he takes and shakes.
This is the first time Jaemin catches a glance of your face. Never in his life has he seen someone this gorgeous, and he was surrounded by Gods and Goddesses growing up.
“I’m Jaemin.”, his voice comes out a bare whisper.
You on the other side try not to let your eyes bulge out of your head. You swear that you have never seen someone this mesmerizing before. It’s like he was sculptured by gods. And his smile, oh god his smile. It makes you want to throw yourself on your bed and kick your legs like a fourteen-year-old. And his hand - that you are weirdly enough still holding – is so soft. You have never held a hand that is so smooth.
“Since you two seem to get along well, I suggest you leave my office and get to class, before Jaemin gets detention on his first day.”
You just nod, letting go of Jaemin’s hand and grabbing your stuff. Holding the door open, you let Jaemin step outside first, before following him. You look around the hallway, seeing all the decoration and the couples walking around while holding hands. All you can do is roll your eyes. It’s not like you hate Valentines Day, you just hate the message behind it. Why would you create a day to show love to your partner, when you can do that every single day that you spend with them. It’s an excuse for people to show the love they neglected to show their partners over the rest of the year. It’s not about love, it’s about proving people something you are not.
“We have most classes together.”, you speak up after a few seconds. “What a coincidence, right? First class is Math, which I hate by the way, but the teacher is cool. He always has some Math puns, some of them are dad jokes, but others are actually laughable. Well, I actually don’t understand most of them, but I laugh anyway to get better grades.”
You speak a lot. That’s one thing Jaemin makes a mental note on. Not that that’s a bad thing. He just never had someone speak so much to him.
“You are not much of a talker, huh?”, you say as you two walk into your shared math class.
“Not really.”, he shakes his head, sitting down beside you.
“Any reason why or are you just a general introverted person?” A reason? He has never thought about a reason. He was just always a quiet person. Of course, he has his opinions and thoughts, but he doesn’t want to share them all the time. He much rather prefers them to stay in his mind and his mind only. Maybe it’s because he grew up excluded from most people, kept up in his room most of the time. He just never really had someone to confine in, so he simply never did share his mind with anyone.  
“Guess I’m just an introverted person.” You nod, looking at him with narrowed eyes.
“What?”, he asks, confusion and maybe a hint of insecurity layering his voice. He feels a bit naked when you look at him like that, like he is an open book, and you can read every chapter of him with just one single look.
“Nothing, it’s just that I feel like you’re not exactly aware of the presence you carry.”
“I carry a presence?”, he looks down at himself. There is nothing special about him. He doesn’t wear anything out of the ordinary, nor has he done anything special with his hair and yes he applied a bit of concealer, but only under his eyes to hide the eyebags from not sleeping the night before. Other than that, he tried to look as normal and human as he could.
“Yeah, you have an aura to you. Something that makes people stop and stare. Haven’t you noticed that everyone in the classroom stopped talking the moment you walked in?” No, he actually hasn’t. He was so focused on listening to you, that he hasn’t paid any attention to the other students in the classroom. Looking around now, he catches a few of the girls in the first row look at him, but immediately looking away the moment he makes eye contact with them. How did he completely block that out?
“See.”, you point out. “You are so oblivious to it and that makes you even more captivating. It’s crazy. You could easily get with all the girls in this school if you wanted to.”, you pause, looking at his widened eyes. “Or guys. Sorry, don’t want to assume anything.”
“It’s fine. It’s just that-“, before he can finish his sentence, the bell rings, signaling that class starts. And on cue the teacher walks in. Guess you will have to continue this conversation another time.
While class went on rather smoothly, Jaemin feels lost in a trance. This is everything he has ever wanted. Sitting in a classroom, writing notes and learning something new. It feels like a dream to him, a dream from which he never wants to wake up.
“Okay, you are one of the weirdest people I have ever met.”, you suddenly say as you try to catch up to him. Jaemin was just about to find a quiet place to sit down and observe the people around him.
“What do you mean?”, he asks, walking a little slower so you can match his steps.
“I have never seen someone be so interested in math. You looked at those numbers like you love them.” Jaemin lets out a quiet laugh. “No, I’m serious. You looked at them like you want to ask them out on a date to a fancy restaurant where you eat overprized pasta and wine that tastes like petrol. Then after a successful date, you drop them off by walking them to their front door and before you leave, you give them a sweet kiss, but you don’t overdo it, since it’s the first date and you want them to crave more.”
Finally finding a good place where he can look over the whole school yard, he sits down. You take a seat next to him before continuing. “Obviously you will start to date and spend your whole high school life together. You become the couple everyone is jealous of, and your life is great. You take them to prom, where you promise to stay together always. But that is until graduation and you realize that you go to different colleges that are miles away from each other. Your whole relationship will face a very hard challenge, but as expected you manage it well. You facetime every night, visit each other on holidays and eventually you graduate from college. You move together, get jobs, and spend each Saturday night having a Disney movie night. On your 6th anniversary you ask them to marry you, to which they obviously say yes. After your amazing wedding, you start to have some problems. The secretary at the company that you’re working with is flirting with you and the numbers start to get jealous. You reassure them, but the insecurity of not being enough is slowly killing them from the inside. And what will help you through it? The decision of having children. Which you will have 10 or more with them. The end.”
The whole time Jaemin sits there with a smile on his face. How can a person come up with such a bizarre story in such a short time?
“Are you done?”, he asks, humor lingering in his voice. You roll your eyes, grabbing a lunch box from your backpack.
“My whole point is that you are weird.”
“Tell me something new.”, Jaemin says, grabbing something from his backpack as well.
“What do you have there?”, you ask, taking a bite from your apple.
“Just something.”, he states, trying not to let you see the things written in the notebook he took out. In the notebook stands everything he has learned about love over the curse of his life.
Jaemin looks around the yard, observing the people and trying to find a pattern in their behavior. When someone is in love you can see it in the way they carry themselves around the person they like. Their body language, like leaning forward while talking or fiddling with their hands. Their facial expressions, batting their eyes or biting their lips. The constant need of physical touch or the very obvious avoiding of any sort of physical contact. The lingering stares, the twisting of their hair or the staring at the ground whenever the other person passes them by. Jaemin knows all the signs and he can differ them from love and antipathy.
“You look like a creep watching the students.”, you cut off his thoughts.
“Hm?”, he lets out, bringing his focus back to you.
“If you want gossip about the students, you could have just asked me, you know? But looking at them like that will just get you punched in the face, so stop it.”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t notice I was starring.”, he clears his throat and nervously plays with the hem of his shirt.
You let out a small laugh. “You’re cute when you get nervous.” He looks up at you, shocked at your statement, but you continue talking before he can think about it more. “But do you want the gossip?”
“Yeah, sure. Why not?”
“Okay, so the couple that you looked, well more stared at, is Renjun and his girlfriend. She doesn’t go to school here, but she visits him whenever she can. It’s kind of cute, but when you spend just 5 minutes with Renjun, you won’t find it cute anymore. All he talks about is his girlfriend and that 24/7. ‘Oh, I miss her.’ ‘I hope she thinks of me.’ ‘Why can’t she just go to this school.’ ‘Have you seen her new pictures? She looks like an angel.’ Ugh.”, you make a puking sound, to which Jaemin just snickers. He finds that cute. Imagine having someone that loves you so much that the only thing they think and talk about is you.
“Anyway, let’s get to the juicy part. There is this guy, Mark, and well he has to be one of the most awkward human beings to ever set a foot on this earth. I had to do one biology project with him, and he couldn’t even look me in the eyes. I think girls just intimidate him. Anyway, I heard that he has a crush on this girl named Cherry. I don’t know her real name, that’s just what she goes with. But he seems to be down bad with her, but he is too awkward to make a move. Honestly, he is a hopeless case.”
Jaemin listens attentively, practically hanging off your lips at this point. “I don’t think he is a hopeless case.”, he says, scribbling in his notebook. “I mean just because someone is awkward around the person they like, doesn’t mean that they will never eventually find love. I think he just needs some encouragement, someone to hype him up and give him some confidence.”
You look at him with your eyebrows raised. “Are you some kind of love coach or what is happening right now?”
Jaemin freezes upon you saying that, not knowing how to react to that. “No!”, he exclaims. “I mean, no, of course not. I just feel bad for him.”
“Why? You went through the same thing?”
“No, not really. I mean, I never had a crush on someone before.”
“What?”, your voice comes out louder than you wanted to. “You never had a crush before? How?”
“I don’t know. I just never did. Can we please change the subject? Don’t you like have friends that are waiting for you?”
“First of all, rude how you desperately try to get rid of me. And second, I do have two best friends. But they are sick today. Well, no, they stayed at home to play video games.”, you roll your eyes as you say that. “Stupid boys, they must attend every competition and will even skip school for that. They purposely left me all alone at school, but it’s fine, because now I can hang out with you.”
A small shade of red appears on Jaemins cheeks after you say that. He feels the slight burn and immediately brings his hand to his face. He has never blushed before. That was the first time, and it was because of you. You didn’t even compliment him or flirt with him. You simply just stated that you can hang out with him. Nothing more, nothing less.
“Anyway,”, you say, packing your bag again. “I have to go before I miss my bus. See you tomorrow?”, you ask.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”, he sends you a small smile.
He watches you leave until he can’t see you anymore, before letting go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Taking his notebook, he reads the notes he wrote over and over again, until an idea pops up in his mind. The awkward boy you were talking about, might be the key to making Jaemin pass his test.
Day 2
Jaemin spend the whole night taking and perfecting his notes. He figures that the best way is to get close to Mark, earn his trust. From there on he just has to ask the right questions, get Mark to admit his crush and then help him with some simple tips. It’s a piece of cake.
“Question.”, Jaemin says as he walks up to you at lunch, sitting down next to you.
“Oh my god.”, you exclaim, putting a hand on your chest out of shock. “You scared the shit out of me. Can you not sneak up on people.”
“Sorry.”, Jaemin sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.
“You have a question?”
“Oh yeah. Are you close with Cherry?”, he asks, taking out a water bottle from his backpack and taking a sip.
“Why? You want to steal her from Mark?”, humor laces your voice, but Jaemin doesn’t get that. Instead, his eyes widen, and his ears turn into the shade of a tomato.
“No! Of course not. Why would you even think that?”
“Relax Jaemin. I was just joking.” After you say that, you can see his body visibly relaxing. It’s kind of cute, you think. “To answer your question, no not really. I have chemistry class with her, and we worked on a project together. She is really nice, but we never got close. She’s got her own friend group.”
“Okay, thank you.” Before Jaemin can continue the conversation, you both hear someone call your name.
“Y/N, darling.”, two boys walk up to the table you sit on and take a place at either side of you.
“Ah, so you decided to finally come back to school instead of wasting your time on stupid games.”
Jaemin watches as the three of you interact. This must be the two best friends you mentioned yesterday. As Jaemin continues to watch he notices the two boys having completely different body languages. That’s another thing he learned over the years. Analyzing people based on their body languages. It has helped him a lot to see who he should talk to and who he should avoid.
The boy to your left has his shoulders up, not in a defensive way, but more in a shy way. His light brown hair badly needs a haircut, as it falls into his eyes and he has to brush it away with his fingers every few seconds. He seems like a quiet and reserved person, more like Jaemin himself. Someone who hides his thoughts and feelings.
The second boy on the other hand, seems like the most open person. He carries himself with a lot of confidence that you can see by the way he enters a room. He is aware of the eyes that are on him, and he enjoys the attention. The boy has a relaced presence, like nothing in the world could ever stop him. And just from that bit of information Jaemin can gather, he feels jealous. Because the black-haired boy is everything Jaemin ever wanted to be.
“Yeah, I mean we felt bad for leaving you alone.”, the guy on your left says, with a guilty look on his face.
“Yeah, we just couldn’t leave our dear Y/N alone and miserable any longer.”, black haired guy sing-songs as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. Jaemin feels a weird feeling appear in his chest upon seeing that, but he tries to ignore it before it expands. “But as I can see, you are not so alone after all.”
The attention of all three people is suddenly on Jaemin. He tries to muster up a smile and holds out his hand. “I’m Jaemin. I am new here.”
Both boys look at each other before chuckling. “Nice one that you got there.” Jaemin lowers his hand again. You scoff at your two friends, feeling bad for Jaemin, who looks at the three of you like a lost puppy.
“Guys don’t be so mean. He is just trying to be polite and make a good first impression.”, you reason with them before removing your friends arm from your shoulder and giving them both a slight punch for being so rude. “Now be nice and introduce yourselves.”
“I’m Jeno.”, the one on the left says, giving Jaemin a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Haechan.”, the one who had his arm wrapped around you speaks up.
“Now that we all introduced each other, Jaemin can be added as a final member to our cool friend group.”, you smile. “Maybe he can be a good influence on you two and stop you from playing so many video games.”
“I doubt that. I bet Jaemin plays as much as we do.”, Heachan voices, sending Jaemin an expecting look.
“No, I actually never played video games.”
You gasp in delight, reaching over and grabbing Jaemins hands. “Thank God. Finally, someone who is not obsessed with those stupid games. Oh, Jaemin we will get along so well.”
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Jaemin ends up at the school’s library after school. In his physics class he hears people raving about Mark’s abilities in the physics department. With that knowledge Jaemin wants to tell Mark he needs someone to help him with physics, a tutor is what it’s called. And the perfect match for that is Mark himself.
“Are you Mark?”, Jaemin asks a boy sitting at a table.
“Yeah, why?”
“I’m Jaemin and I’m new here.”
“Oh yeah, I know who you are.”, Mark says, dropping the pen he was holding.
“You do?” Jaemin tilts his head to the side, clearly confused by the statement.
“Yeah, dude. Everyone’s talking about you. You became some kind of legend around this school.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I don’t know man. They just say stuff about how handsome you are and how you look like a Greek god.” Jaemin’s shocked for a few second. He didn’t think the people in this school would even notice him, but now they are comparing him to the Gods? He feels blessed and guilty at the same time. Where he comes from the gods are the highest powers and admired by everyone, his father being one of them. They are known to have visuals like sculptures and strong, dominant personalities. So yes, he feels very honored to be compared to them, but he could never actually be like them. He is not on their level and will probably never be. “What’s up, dude?”
“Well,”, he stutters out. “I heard you are good at physics. I’ve been really struggling with that subject, and I was thinking that maybe you could help me a little, so I won’t fail my next class.”
Mark looks unsure for a second, putting his hand on his forehead and sighing. “Dude, I would really like to, but I have so many tests coming up and my mom is literally going to chop my balls off if I fail any of these.”
“Oh.”, Jaemin lets out a sound of disappointment. “No worries. Good luck with your tests.”
He turns around to leave, saddened that his plan didn’t work. Seeing the boy’s reaction, Mark starts to feel bad. Maybe he can spare a few hours tutoring him.
“Dude, wait up.” Jaemin lifts his head and turns around to look at Mark. “Meet me here tomorrow after school and we will go over some stuff, okay?”
Jaemin’s eyes light up at that. “Really? Thank you so much, Mark. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.”
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
As Jaemin walks out of the school, he realizes he has one problem. He doesn’t know how to make friends. I mean he has you now, but that wasn’t really a huge act, since you were put up with each other by the school’s secretary at the first day. And yes, he now has Jeno and Haechan as well, but that only happened, because you included Jaemin into the friend group.
Jaemin never had to make friends before. He was always content with being in his room and reading. At gatherings with Gods, he always kept himself out of conversations, letting his dad do that part.
What do you talk about with other people? What questions are okay to ask and which topic should he avoid bringing up?
“Penny for your thoughts?”, you ask, as you come up behind Jaemin.
Jaemin flinches, not expecting someone talking to him. “God, Y/N, you scared me.”
You let out a small laugh, putting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing it in a comforting manor. “Sorry, you just looked so adorable while being deep in your own world, I had to know what is going on inside your head. And now we can call it quits for you scaring me earlier.”
Jaemin lowers his head to hide the blush that was slowly creeping up his neck. He doesn’t understand the effect you have on him. “It’s fine. I am just very jumpy, I guess.”
You smile, walking in front of him so you can face him. “So, want to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“How do you make friends?”, he asks, looking up and into your eyes.
“Friends? Why do you want to know that?”
Jaemin looks at you, not sure if he should tell you about his plan of befriending Mark. But he decides against it. What if you think that you don’t want to be friends with him anymore? Of course, he still wants that.
“Oh, just asking. I never really had friends in my old school, and I have some classes where you’re not in and it would be cool to not totally be alone in them.” He sees your lips quirk up at that.
“You’re so cute, you know that?” Another wave of blush hits Jaemin and this time he is too slow to hide it. You catch a glimpse of his crimson cheeks and something about that makes your heart beat faster.
“Well, I’m not the best at giving advice in that department. I only had Jeno and Haechan as my friends my whole life and never made any effort to be friends with anyone else. But maybe I can ask Haechan. He is some sort of social butterfly. He makes friends everywhere he goes.”
Jaemin nods at that. It makes sense, after you all left the cafeteria earlier to get to your classes, he has seen Haechan talk to at least 5 people on the way.
“How about you give me your number and I will text you as soon as I asked him?”, you ask, reaching for your phone in your pocket.
“I don’t have a phone.”, Jaemin states, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“What? You have no phone? Not even a house phone.”
“Oh, yeah that I have. Just no cellphone.”, you shake your head, putting back your phone and grabbing a pen instead.
“You should really get one so we can get in contact outside of school as well.” You grab his arm and scribble down your number on it. “Call me in two hours with your house phone and then we can talk about the whole friend making thing, okay?”
Jaemin nods his head again, glancing down to your hand that is still holding his arm. “Speak to you later.”, you smile at him and give him a quick wink, before turning around and walking away.
‘I am so fucked.’, Jaemin thinks as he watches you leave with a fast beating heart.
Day 3  
Jaemin is tired. Beyond tired. He thinks he might fall asleep while trying to pay attention in class.
He spent the entire evening and half of the night on the phone with you. It was planned that you two would just discuss the tips and tricks Haechan had, but somehow the topics shifted and the two of you started talking about anything and everything. Well, it was mostly you telling him stories about your life, but he didn’t mind that. He loved listening to your voice, hearing the different type of emotions you’re going through while talking. Jaemin has never done that - having a phone call. It’s so different from talking to someone in person. For him it feels like he can talk more openly. Phone calls have such a vulnerability to them. There is no one sitting in front of you, no one that can judge you for having your emotions. You don’t have to worry about your looks, if your hair sits right, if you have anything stuck in your teeth or if your clothes are wrinkly or not. You can just be you. You, your voice, and your thoughts.
Jaemin hasn’t seen you this morning and he is not sure how to face you. It feels weird after you shared so much of each other yesterday. Is he supposed to say anything to you when he sees you? Does he thank you for the phone call or for you opening up to him?
He doesn’t have enough time to think about that, because the bell rings, signaling that it’s the break. He grabs his things and walks outside the classroom but stops in his tracks. You are there, leaning against the lockers with your phone in your hand, your other one hiding behind your back. As you hear the students filling up the hallway, you look up to find Jaemin looking at you with a certain nervousness in his demeanor.  
“Hey dear.”, you say, making your way over to him.
“What are you doing here?”, Jaemin asks, taking you in. Is he imagining it or are you even more beautiful today?
“Going to school? Am I not allowed to go to my own school anymore?”, humor laces your voice as you form those questions. There are meant in a teasing way, but for some reason Jaemin doesn’t understand that.
“No. I mean, you can go to school. I just meant to ask what you are doing in front of my classroom.”
You let out a small laugh, as you take his hand and start walking towards the cafeteria. “I was just kidding.”, you reassure him. “And I was just being nice and picking you up so we can eat lunch together. Or do you not want to eat lunch with me?”
“Of course, I want to eat lunch with you!”, he eagerly says, nodding his head and looking at you with wide eyes. He almost looks like a puppy and for some reason you find that incredibly adorable.
“Good, because I would have annoyed you until you gave in anyway.”, you smile up to him, seeing his ears turn red. “And I got this for you.”, you add, showing him your other hand with a red rose in it.
Jaemin’s eyes widen, as he slowly takes the rose from your hand. “Thank you, Y/N. But why?”
“Well, they sell roses in school as a little Valentine’s special and I thought I should buy you one as a little thank you present for our phone call yesterday.”
“You really didn’t have to.”, he says, still a little taken back by your kindness.
“It’s no big deal, Jaemin.” But you don’t know how big of a deal that is to him. You don’t know that that is the nicest thing someone has ever done for him, and he will keep the rose even when it’s old and withered.
You give him one last smile before walking into the cafeteria with him right behind you. Spotting Haechan and Jeno, you two take a place at their table.
“Great, you are finally here. Jaemin, we need your advice as the third male in our friend group.”, Haechan speaks up not even a second after you two sat down.
“Oh god, this can only be bad.”, you say, taking a sip of your water.
“Jeno here says that if you want to take out a girl for the first date, you should go to a fancy restaurant. Like pick her up with flowers, wear your best suit, eat together and then after the dinner take a little walk before dropping her off at home. But I think that’s so boring. Why not do something fun and memorable? Like going to an amusement park together. Not dressed up, but in your normal everyday clothes. It seems so much more authentic that way and I think the girl would be a lot more impressed afterwards. What do you think? Which date idea is better?”
“Why are you asking me? Shouldn’t you be asking Y/N because she is a girl.”
Haechan shakes his head, giving Jaemin a pointed look. “Y/N is weird. She never has good advice when it comes to dating.”
“Hey! That’s not true. I give great advice.”, you protest, pouting slightly and crossing your arms in front of your chest.
“Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night. Anyway, Jaemin please answer the question.”
Jaemin thinks for a second, gathering all his knowledge before answering.
“Well, first of all, not every girl is the same. A lot of girls like going to fancy restaurants, but there are also some who absolutely despise that. I think you should first get to know their basic interests before asking them out on a date. What do they like? What are they into? Are they more of an introverted or an extroverted person? Do they like to stay inside more or go outside? Based on that you can decide which type of date would fit more. But if you can’t get that knowledge, I would always go with something simpler. A first date is there to get to know the other person and see if you two can potentially work in a relationship. While a fancy restaurant is a great place to sit down and talk, there is a lot of pressure around you. Rich people staring at you, having to constantly be aware how you look while eating and also getting interrupted at the most unfitting times by your waiter. So, I would not suggest that. An amusement park sounds like a fun idea and is definitely memorable, but it is not a great place to get to know each other. You can barely talk with all the noises, there are people constantly running into you and let’s not talk about the overprized rides and food. Just keep it simple. Maybe meet up in a cute little café, where you can sit down for a while and talk. Then take a walk, enjoying each other’s company. Watching the sunset together will give it a more romantic note as well and then walk her home and ending it with giving her a kiss on the cheek.”
All three friends look at Jaemin with wide eyes and their mouths hung open.
“Are you some kind of dating god? Why was this the best advice I have ever heard?”, Jeno says, not really believing what just happened.
“Man, you must be swimming in pussy.”, Haechan comments, leaning back in his chair. Jaemin blushes at that comment, not because it’s true – which obviously is not – but more of embarrassment of the word choice.
“Na Jaemin, I think I just fell in love with you.”, you say, putting a hand on your chest for dramatic effect. The blush on his cheeks gets darker, spreading around his neck and ears as well.
“I think you are not the only one who is falling for someone.” Jeno and Haechan both look at each other with a knowing look.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Jaemin is early, maybe a little too early at the school’s library. He just couldn’t wait and was way too nervous. After the encounter earlier where Jeno called him a ‘dating god’, he feels much more confident in his abilities. Jaemin was never so sure of passing a test in his life. His father will be proud of him.
“Hey bro.”, Marks greets Jaemin as he sits down in front of him.
“Hey Mark.”, Jaemin smiles, nervously fondling with his hands under the table. This is it. This is his chance to prove everyone, to prove his father that Jaemin is worth taking the title as love god. All these years will finally be worth it. He can’t make any mistakes now. “Thank you again for agreeing to tutor me. It means a lot.”
“No problem, dude.”, Mark shrugs taking out the books he brought. “Well, how about we make a deal. Since I’m helping you with physics, how about you help me with something as well?”
“Yeah sure. With what?”
“Well,”, Mark starts, rubbing his neck in an awkward manor. “I talked to Haechan earlier and he told me about the great advice you gave him on dates and stuff like that. And I was wondering if you could help me as well?”
Jaemins gulps, getting even more nervous now. “I can try.”
Mark shows Jaemin a bright smile. “Great. So, I have this crush on this girl and believe me it’s been so long. And for some reason I can’t figure out how to talk to her or approach her without making a total fool of myself. Can you help me somehow?”
On the inside Jaemin is celebrating a huge party with confetti, balloons, and a band. On the outside Jaemin has to control himself to not let Mark see how happy he is at this request.
“Well, what do you know about her so far? What are her interests, things she likes, things she doesn’t like?”
Mark doesn’t even hesitate before answering. “She likes reading. I see her read almost every day. She is also obsessed with anything that has to do with cherries. That’s why her friends gave her the nickname Cherry. She likes to listen to softer music instead of loud and upbeat music. Sometimes when she listens to music, she closes her eyes like she takes in every single note and makes it her own. She loves fashion and likes to express herself through that. She doesn’t like the consistency of tomatoes because she thinks they are too squishy inside. Whenever someone opens a can of RedBull she crunches up her face in such a cute way because she hates the smell. She hates anyone who is mean to other people and is always the first one to stand up for the people who get bullied. She is also more of an introverted person and apparently hates small talk a lot which makes it harder for me to come up with something to talk to her about, because I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable around me.”
Jaemins nods along as Marks speaks, trying to memorize the different facts he listed.
“You seem to know a lot about her already Mark and you should use that to your advantage. Talk to her about the things you know she likes. Like music or her clothes. That will make her see that you are interested in the things she likes and that you pay attention to her. Maybe even search for two or three songs that you can recommend to her.”
Marks eyes light up as he hears that. “That’s such a good idea. Thank you Jaemin.”
“No problem. If there is anything else I can help you with just tell me.”
“Well, actually, there is one thing.” Mark looks at Jaemin, unsure if he should ask or not. “There is this little get together tonight. It’s nothing big, just a few students from our debate club getting together, eating and talking. And Cherry will be there too. At first, I didn’t want to go, but maybe that could be a great opportunity for me to talk to her.” Jaemin nods, finding the idea good. “But I really don’t want to go alone, because I know the minute I see Cherry my brain will shut off and I won’t be able to talk to her anymore. Would you maybe come with me? It would mean a lot to me, because then there would be someone there to calm my nerves and maybe give me some positive affirmations every now and then.”
All Jaemin can do is look at Mark with uncertainty. Him? Going to a gathering with people he doesn’t know. That doesn’t sound like a very good idea. Jaemin is already awkward when it comes to new people but being in this world for the first time, not really knowing how teenagers his age actually act like, makes him scared. Intimidated even.
“Y/N is going to be there too.”, Mark adds on.
“What?”, Jaemin asks, having not listened to what Mark was saying.
“Y/N is going to be there. She is also in the debate team. I thought you were friends, so I just wanted to let you know. You wouldn’t be alone because she is there to keep you company.”
At the mention of your name Jaemin flushes. You would be there too and Jaemin will be able to spend a whole evening with you? How can he say no to that? So, he clears his throat, trying to hide the redness of his cheeks before muttering a small ‘sure’.
“Great! Jaemin you’re the best, man.”
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Jaemin sits on Marks bed, waiting for him to return from the bathroom. He considered telling you that he will also go to the gathering today, but he has no phone to text you and unfortunately, he didn’t see you in school anymore. He tried to pick clothes out to look somewhat nice as well, wanting to make a good impression. But for who? You? No, surely not. Why would he want to make a good impression for you?
“What do you think? Is it too much?”, Mark asks after getting out of the bathroom wearing a new outfit.
“No, you look good, Mark. She will like it.” Mark lets out a relieved breath. Jaemin can practically feel the nervousness radiating from the poor boy. “Don’t worry too much. She will like you, Mark. Just be yourself and everything will be fine.”
“No that’s exactly what I’m worried about, being myself. What if she doesn’t like who I am?”
“Then she’s not worth it. Mark, you deserve someone who likes you the way you are and if she doesn’t than she isn’t the right person for you. It sounds harsh and it will probably hurt at first, but better let the person go before you go on and live a life where you have to be someone you’re not.”
Mark nods, letting the words sink in. “Wow, that was so deep man. Thank you.” He walks towards his mirror, checking his hair one last time. “I wrote a song about her.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s not much and probably super cringey, but I put all my feelings into it.” Mark almost looks shy as he’s admitting that. It’s adorable seeing someone so in love.
“Why don’t you show it to her?”, Jaemin asks, watching as Mark mulls over the idea.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea. I think she would get scared off and it would put way too much pressure on her to like me back.”
“I get that, but it could also be a good way of keeping the conversation go, since you said she likes music.”
“I will think about it.”, Mark says, grabbing his phone and headphones, before turning back to Jaemin. “Ready to go?”
20 minutes into the gathering and Jaemin already knows this is not his world. There are way too many people, it’s way too loud and he got stepped on the toes at least five times already. Mark is still by his side, having spot Cherry already, but waiting for a good timing before approaching. “She is still talking to her friends. I can’t go there while they are still there.”
“Why not? I don’t think you will get her completely alone tonight, since you said she is more of an introverted person. She will most likely stay in her comfort zone which in this case is her friends.”
“Dude how the heck are you so good at this?”, Mark asks, shaking his head in disbelief. Jaemin just shrugs, looking around mindlessly. Well, maybe not so mindlessly. Maybe ever since he put foot into the building, he has been looking for you. But just maybe.
“Okay, now or never. I will just talk to her. I can do this.”, Jaemin can practically hear the boys heart beat out of his chest.
“Of course, you can do this, Mark. You’ve been waiting for this moment for so long. Go get the girl.” With one last reassuring look from Jaemin, Mark makes his way over to Cherry, leaving Jaemin by himself.
Jaemin keeps an eye out, watching how Mark nervously talks to his crush, but he can’t watch the interaction for so long, because he hears a familiar voice.
“I knew I didn’t imagine hearing your voice.” You stand in front of him, pulling him into a quick hug. Jaemin thinks he unlearned how to breath properly. You look gorgeous, absolutely stunning. You styled your hair and you changed out of your school uniform into a pretty dress. Everything about you screams beauty and it makes Jaemin’s heartbeat faster. But why? He shouldn’t be feeling this way about you. “What are you doing here?”, you ask after breaking the hug and looking up at him with a small smile.
Jaemin points into Marks direction. “I’m helping Mark out with Cherry. So, I’m practically just here as moral support and a confidence booster.” You chuckle a bit, amused by the way Mark nervously gulps as he made Cherry laugh at whatever he just said.
“That’s very sweet of you, Jaemin.” Jaemin just shrugs, giving the illusion that it’s not much. But on the inside, he is dying. Everything he said earlier to Mark was just to be nice. Of course, he meant the words, but deep down he hopes that all of Marks worries won’t come true. It’s the only chance Jaemin has right now. There isn’t much time left until he has to go back to his father. If the plan with Mark fails, there won’t be any other plan left and Jaemin will pretty much be doomed. And he can’t be. He won’t be because Mark got this.
“Do you want to go outside for a bit? It’s super loud and I think I need some fresh air.” Jaemin nods at your request and together you go through the front door to take a seat at the patio. It’s probably for the best anyway. If Jaemin stayed inside and kept on watching over Mark, he would drive himself and also Mark insane.
“I hate stuff like this.”, you say, while looking up at the starry night sky.
“You do?”
“Yeah, it’s not really my scene. The loudness, the amount of people and small talk. I hate having to talk to people I barely know about stuff that no one cares about. Maybe I’m just too socially awkward for it.” Jaemin nods, understanding this feeling. He has to go through the same thing too, at every gathering he has ever been at with his father. The gods are known for throwing the biggest parties that always ends up with the guests having had too much wine and something getting broken, creating a huge chaos. He would rather stay at home in his library, reading more human books and sinking into a world where he doesn’t have to face the weight the Gods puts on him.
“Me too.”, he says after a while, following your gaze up into the sky. “My father used to bring me to these parties with all his… coworkers. And I never felt like I belong there.” You turn to him with a small twinkle in your eyes.
“That’s the first time you ever mentioned anything about your family.”, you state, smiling at the way Jaemin is slowly opening more up to you.
“Is it really?”, he asks. He knows he successfully avoided the theme since the last thing he wants to do is lie to you. And well, he can’t really tell you he is the son of the god of love and was sent down to earth to pass a test. That would just make him sound crazy.
“Yeah, not even when we had our long phone call. While I poured out my whole family story, you never once mentioned yours. Tell me more about them and your life before you came here.”
Jaemin takes a minute to think. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he can’t not tell you something when you sit there, looking at him with wide eyes and an expecting smile. His gaze goes back to the sky as he tries to come up with something to tell you.
“My father and I always had a complicated relationship. He loves me and I know he does, but he is way too busy with work to show it to me. He is an important man and while I know his work means a lot to a huge amount of people, I sometimes wish things were different. I’m close to my teacher though. She is a huge part of my life. She taught me most of the things I know and while she’s still my teacher and had to be strict with me, she was always someone I could turn to when I had problems.”, he takes a few seconds to gather his thoughts before continuing. “When I was five years old, I walked into my dad’s office at night. He was working on a big project and couldn’t bring me to bed that night. I watched him concentrate on the papers for a few minutes until he noticed my presence. I told him I had a bad dream and couldn’t sleep, but that was a lie. I just missed him and wanted his attention. I think he knew, because the next moment he stood up, turned the lights off in his office and brought me back to bed. Back then I didn’t know how huge that gesture was, but now that I’m older I see how much love he subtlety showed me. Now I look for those signs in everything he does. I realized through that, that it’s not the grand gestures that count all the time, but rather the small things a person shows you over the day.”
You hang onto every word he says, clearly mesmerized by his voice. “Wow. I take it all back. That was worth thinking that you probably hate me and don’t want to be close to me.”
“You thought I hate you?”, he asks, shock lacing his voice.
“Yeah, you are so distant towards me. You don’t tell me anything about your life and while I appreciate the mysterious aura you carry, I would like it at more if you actually tell me something about you instead of me having to guess everything.”
“Oh no, Y/N.”, Jaemin exclaims, taking one of your hands in his. “I don’t hate you, quiet opposite to be exact. I could never hate you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way and I promise I will open up to you more.”
You smile at him, enjoying the way his hand feels holding yours. “It’s okay, Jaemin. I also don’t hate you. I think you are so sweet and caring, really. You are one of the most kindhearted people I have ever met.” Jaemin feels his heart begining to beat fast again. Is he dreaming or is this really happening? You take his other hand in yours as well, scooting over so that you sit closer to him. “I want to tell you something Jaemin. And I want to do it now before I back out like the coward I am. I think I really li-“, but before you can finish your sentence, the door opens and someone storms out of the house.
“Fuck this.”, the person yells in a frustrated voice. Wait. Is that Mark?
“Mark?”, Jaemin asks, watching the figure walk away. “Sorry, Y/N. I will be back in a minute. I just have to check up on Mark.”
“No problem, Jaemin.” He gives you one last look, before letting go of your hands and running after the person.
“Mark? Hey, wait. What’s wrong?”, he asks, finally having caught up to the said person.
“Everything’s wrong. God, how can I be so stupid? And to think I wanted to show her my song.”
“What? What happened?”, Jaemin asks with a panicked voice.
“She rejected me. Saying something about not wanting a relationship and that I’m not really her type. I don’t know man.”, Mark frustratedly runs his hand through his hair. “Thanks for trying, Jaemin. I really appreciate your help, but that’s it.”
“What? No, you can still-“
“No, Jaemin. I can’t and it’s fine. Again, thank you, but I just want to go home now.” With that Mark turns around, walking along the sidewalk and leaving Jaemin by himself yet again.
“Jaemin?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. He can’t do anything but look at the ground. Was that really it? Did all this work over the years get destroyed in just a few minutes? Jaemin just shakes his head, taking your hand of his shoulder and making his way home. He ignores your calls for him, the same way he ignores the feeling of his breaking heart. How is he going to fix this all?
Day 4
He feels bad. Not only did he leave you standing alone on the street at night, but he also dodged all your phone calls. He just couldn’t talk to you, to anyone, really.
Jaemin stayed up all night figuring out what to do, making new plans and trying to find a way, a solution, to fix everything. And he came up with nothing. Nada.
Now he stands in the cafeteria, watching you talk to Jeno and Haechan. He can’t face you, fearing that he hurt you too much with his actions. So, he just stays there, watching how Haechan wraps an arm around you and plants a kiss on your cheek. What if…? No, definitely not. He can’t possibly do that. But the longer he stands that, observing everything, he can see all the patterns. The way Haechan looks at you whenever you speak, even when you weren’t even speaking. It’s the same way he saw Mark look at Cherry, the same way he read about in all those books. Haechan and you are in love. Definitely. It’s obvious. But why does that thought make his heart feel weird?
Jaemin is too lost in his inner conflict, that he doesn’t even notice you approaching him. “Jaemin?”, you softly call out his name. He blinks a few a times, seeming like he just got back to this world, before looking at you.
“Are you okay?”, you ask, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You look pale.”
“I’m fine.”, he stammers out. “And you? Are you okay?”
You nod. “I am now that you are here. I was really worried about you after you just ditched me and then ignored my calls. I thought something happened or that I said something to scare you away. I couldn’t sleep all night.”
“No!”, he says almost too loud. “You didn’t do anything. Really. It’s just that something came up and I had to leave. I’m sorry, I should have just told you.”
“It’s okay.”, you reassure him. “As long as you’re okay now.”
“You’re not mad at me?”, he asks, looking at you with guilt shimmering in his eyes.
“No, I could never be mad at you.” A weird spark of electricity shoots through Jaemins body, but all he can do is ignore it. Haechan, all he has to do is think about Haechan and how he is most likely in love with you.
“Jeno and I have to go talk to Ms Kim real quick. Is it okay for you to keep Haechan company? He said something about dying out of boredom without us.”, you chuckle a little after the last sentence and Jaemin sees the fondness in your eyes. His heart breaks a little.
“Uh, yeah sure. I can keep him company.”
“Great. It’s not going to take long. Just 10 minutes.”
It’s awkward when Jaemin sits down at the table. Maybe he just makes it awkward, but he can’t seem to face Haechan and it seems like Haechan can’t face him either. They sit together, not talking, just sitting in silence.
“Do you like Y/N?”, Jaemin asks out of nowhere.
“What? Why are you asking?”
Jaemin just shrugs, not sure why he really asked. Maybe he is just so desperate to pass his test that he wants to find people in love. Or maybe it’s for a completely different reason. Does he even want to help the two of you get into a relationship? Why is he even behaving that way? He has two more days before he has to go back and after those two days he won’t see any of you anymore. Well, that’s just partly true. He will still see you, but he won’t be able to communicate with you anymore. So, he shouldn’t care. He should just get the two of you together, pass the test and make everyone proud. He should definitely not sit here, hoping that Haechan is not interested in you.
“I mean, Y/N is great. She is one of the most kindhearted people I’ve ever met.” Fuck, that’s not what Jaemin wanted to hear. It’s true what Haechan says, but it just sounds like someone talking about his crush.
“Why did you never ask her out? I mean you’ve been friends for a long time now and Valentine’s Day is tomorrow so it would be the perfect time to ask her on a date.”
“Ask her out? I don’t know what-“, but before Haechan can continue, you and Jeno return back to the table.
“I swear, Ms Kim is always sick on the most inconvenient days.”, you mutter in frustration. “Anyway, what have the two of you been talking about.”
“Jaemin just asked me why I never asked you out on a date.”
“A date?”, you ask as you look between Jaemin and Haechan, confusion lingering in your voice and Jaemin can maybe see a bit of disappointment in your eyes. But he probably just imagined that. “With Haechan? Never. Don’t get me wrong, but Haechan is like a brother to me.”
“Ouch, you here that guys? I’m in the bro zone.” Haechan puts his hand on his chest, making a hurt expression. “You’re breaking my heart, Y/N.”
“Get over yourself.”, you say, slapping Haechans arm playfully while grinning like an idiot.
Oh, the two of you are so in love.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
„Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.“ , Jaemin states as the two of you walk out of school.
“I know. It’s all over school.”
“Do you have a date?”, he asks, making you stop walking for a second. Is he trying to ask you on? Is that why he asked Haechan why her never asked you out?
“No, I don’t. Why are you asking?”
“Well, I thought that maybe Haechan asked you.”
“Haechan?”, you ask, shock lacing your voice. “Why would Haechan ask me to be his Valentine?”
Jaemin scoffs, maybe letting some pent of anger out. “Because you two like each other.”
“Like each other? What are you talking about? Have you gone completely mad?” Your voice raises not believing the words of Jaemin.
“Come on. It’s so obvious. You like each other. Everyone with eyes can see the attraction you two have for each other.” Jaemin can’t believe his own words. Why would he say stuff like that so openly and why does it completely wrench his heart to do so?
“Well obviously your eyes are not working. Haechan and I are just friends, and it will stay that way. If we liked each other, we would have confessed by now, believe me.”, you spit out, your voice far from being the nice and carefree you that Jaemin is used to. “And why do you care anyway? You just come here acting like we are at a freaking dating show. First Mark and Cherry and now that that didn’t work out you obsess over the next people you met. Well, let me tell you something Jaemin, that’s not how it works. That’s not how life works. You can’t force love onto anyone and everyone. God damn it, you act like your life depends on matching up people.”
“It does.”, he mumbles, looking down at his shoes.
“What?”
“Nothing.”, he just says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you upset. I was just trying to help.”, he says, running a hand through his hair. “I will just go home. See you tomorrow, Y/N.”
He turns around, heading towards his home. Tomorrow he will go home and tomorrow he will have to face the disappointment he has caused. He will have to life with that for the rest of eternity. What will he do? Will he not have a job? What will his dad have to endure when the gods talk about how much of a disgrace his son is?
“Jaemin.”, a voice calls out for him. “Wait up.” You catch up with him, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “I’m sorry. I was… what I said was too harsh. I just got so mad, because I thought you will ask me to be your Valentine and then you said all those things about Haechan and I just thought ‘Why is he so oblivious? Doesn’t he realize I want to go out with him?’.”, you ramble, trying to explain the whole situation. All Jaemin can do is stare at you with wide eyes.
“You like me?”, he asks, his voice breaking.
“Yeah, isn’t it obvious? Well, apparently it isn’t since you didn’t get it. I have been trying to flirt with you, send you signs, you know.”
“I thought you were just being nice.”
“Oh god no. Believe me Jaemin I almost peed my pants every time I said something witty to you. I was definitely flirting.”
His brain stops working. You like him? But how? He hasn’t done anything special to make him likable. Oh no, you like him. You actually do and he has to go tomorrow. He has to go, and he doesn’t even get the chance to take you out.
But what’s worse is the tingly feeling Jaemin got at your confession. The way his heart fluttered, his hands got sweaty, and a smile of pure happiness graced his lips. He knows that feeling. He has studied it for all his life. Jaemin likes you. Jaemin has done the only thing he wasn’t allowed to do.  
But now it makes sense why he gets so nervous around you, why he blushes when you compliment him and why he can’t stop thinking about you anywhere he goes. He broke his father’s rule. Not only did he fail his test, but he also broke the only rule his father has given him. He fell in love with you. Damn you and your rambling and your cute smile and your funny jokes.
“Jaemin? Is everything okay? You look pale.”, you hold his arm as he starts to tumble a bit. “Hey, take it easy.” You walk him over to a bench to sit him down and take out your water bottle so he can take a sip.
“Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“I can’t.”, he whispers, not trusting his voice right now.
“You can’t what?”
“I can’t like you back. I just can’t.” A tear runs down his face, not wanting to accept his fate. He is so close to the life he always wanted. He goes to school, found friends, and even found some that likes him. But he can’t have it. What a bittersweet tragedy.
No words leave your mouth. What is there to say?
“It’s not that I don’t want to, believe me I do. But I can’t. I have to go tomorrow and after that we will never see each other again. Well, I will see you, but you won’t see me. And I don’t want to give you any false hope that might make you hold onto me. You shouldn’t, you can’t. We wouldn’t have a happy ending.” You let him get the words out, before grabbing his hand and making him look at you. The sight of him ruins you. His cheeks glister with tears, his eyes red and his lips quivering.
“Jaemin, please tell me what is going on. Why do you have to leave tomorrow and why can you see me, but I won’t see you? Please tell me the truth, I know something isn’t right.”
More tears stream down his face, but there is no hesitation when he tells you the truth. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m not human like you are. I’m the son of Armor. He sent me down here to do a test in which I have to set up two humans until Valentine’s Day without any power and just with the knowledge I gathered from the years of training. It should prove that I’m worthy of taking his job as the god of love, but I failed. I failed him and all the other gods.”
For a second, you want to laugh right at his face and tell him he is delusional, but then you see the waterfall of tears rolling down his face and you stop yourself. Maybe that’s why everyone says he looks like a god, because he is one, well at least has one as his father. That’s why he has such a strong presence whenever he enters the room. And that’s why he wanted to set up Mark and Cherry and you and Haechan so desperately. It all makes sense now.
“That’s why you thought Haechan and I are in love? You needed to set someone up before you go back tomorrow.” He nods, wiping the tears on his face.
“I needed to. It was my only chance of passing the test.” You nod, grabbing his hand and standing up. “What are you doing?”
“I’m bringing you home.”
“Why?”
“Because we only have a few more hours left, and I would like to spend them with you.”
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Upon arriving in Jaemin’s apartment you are taken back for a few seconds. You know he has to leave tomorrow, but you didn’t expect his apartment to be so… empty. There was nothing but a small kitchen and a mattress on the floor.
“Sorry. It’s not much. We knew I was just staying for 5 days.” Jaemin throws his backpack and jacket in the corner of the room, before flopping down on the mattress.
“Are you hungry? I can order us something. I know a really good pizzeria that makes pizza that is to die for.” You try to lighten the mood a bit, but Jaemin is too kept up by his own mind to notice. He just hums in approval, staring up at his ceiling.
You give the pizzaria a quick call, before walking over to where Jaemin is laying.
“Scoot over.” He does as you say, making some space for you to lay down beside him.
“Tell me what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours.”
Jaemin sighs, turning on his side to face you. “I wish you didn’t tell me that you liked me.” You’re taken back by the sudden boldness of his words. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to hear that you like me back, but it’s making it so much harder for me to leave.”
You nod at his words, reaching over to put your hand on his cheek. “I know and I’m sorry for his whole messed up situation, but isn’t it better knowing I feel the same thing, than never knowing that we had a chance in the first place?”
“I guess so.”, he says, looking back up at the ceiling. You sense that he needs time to sort out the mess in his head, so you keep quiet.
When the pizza arrives, you two eat in silence, both not knowing what to say and how to handle the situation.
You lay down again, but this time you pull him towards you so that his head rests on your chest. He closes his eyes, listening to your heartbeat. Jaemin wraps his arms around you, basking in your warmth and enjoying the first and probably last time he gets to hold you this close.
“If I could have it my way, I would ask you to be my Valentine for tomorrow by showing up at your house in a nice suit and flowers in my hand. Then I would give you the best Valentine you would ever have with cute self written love letters and compliments that I would shower you with over the day. But that won’t stop. Every day that I see you I tell you how much I appreciate having you in my life, how graced I am to call you mine. At least one day of every week I would plan a date for us to go on. Our relationship would bloom, and we would be that type of couple everyone’s jealous of. We graduate and start a life together. We have our ups and downs, but no matter what we always come back to each other. We would grow old and wrinkly together, sitting at the patio in our rocking chairs, watching our grandchildren play in the garden.”
A lonely tear rolls down your face, but you wipe it before Jaemin notices it. “God, that’s so cheesy. But I love it Jaemin.”
Jaemin sniffles a little, trying to hold in the tears that are threatening to leave again. “I can’t imagine that with anyone but you.”
He hugs you even tighter, feeling the exhaustion of the day catching up to him. He tugs his head into your neck, inhaling your calming scent as he closes his eyes.
“Maybe in another universe.”, you whisper, stroking his back. “Maybe in another universe we can be together.”
You leave a kiss on his forehead as you feel his body giving in to sleep. But you don’t sleep. You stay awake, holding Jaemin tight and thinking of any possible way of making Jaemins’ dream come true.
Day 5
Jaemin opens his eyes as the light shines through his window. He feels his head throb and his eyes burning.
“You’re finally awake.”, you say as kneel down in front of his mattress.
“What are you doing here?” You chuckle a little as you hear his sleepy voice and watch him rub the sleep out of his eyes.
“I stayed the night, don’t you remember? I couldn’t possibly leave you alone like this.” You pass him the bowl, taking a seat beside him. “And I stayed to say that you might want to check your voice mail.”
“My voice mail?”, he asks, standing up and grabbing his house phone. He presses a few buttons before a voice starts playing.
“Hey man.”, he instantly recognizes this voice. “I asked Haechan were you are and he told me that you and Y/N called in sick today, which is weird since it’s Valentine’s Day and I bet you would have received a ton of flowers, but that’s not my point. I wanted to apologies and thank you. Turns out Cherry thought I was trying to play her and get her into bed. She didn’t take my confession serious the other day. So, she came up to me today and asked me to be her Valentine. I don’t know what happened, but I’m not going to complain. Thanks for believing in me, man. I will see you tomorrow and get well soon.”
The voice mail ends after that, but Jaemin can’t stop listening. He repeats it over and over again until you take the phone away from him.
“Did that really happen?”, he asks, thinking he is still dreaming.
“Yes, Jaemin. You did it. You passed your test.” Tears forming in his eyes, but for some reason, Jaemin doesn’t feel happy or relieved. Somehow, he feels sad.
“What’s wrong?”, you ask, rushing over to grab his hands. “Why aren’t you jumping up and down with happiness?”
“Because I have to leave.”, his voice wavering a little. “I have to leave you.” Upon those words leaving his lips, you feel your heart break into a million pieces. You spend the whole night thinking about this, about him leaving. It is weird to say this, but it feels like you were hit by an arrow of Amor yourself. You shouldn’t be feeling such strong emotions towards a boy you only know since the beginning of the week.
“It’s okay.”, you whisper after pulling him in for a hug. He clings himself onto you, tugging his head into your neck as he lets out a sob. You have to hold back yourself from breaking down as well. “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard at first, but eventually we will move on, and it will hurt less.”
“But I don’t want to move on.”, he says through his sobs. “I want you.”
“I want you too, Jaemin.”, you break the hug, taking his face in your hands and looking him into his eyes.
“I will always want you.”, you whisper before gently placing your lips on his forehead.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Goodbye. A saying when you part ways with someone and officially Jaemins least favorite word.
Saying goodbye to you was probably the hardest thing Jaemin had to do, but there was no way around it. After you hugged him, again and again, until all the tears were shed, an angel picked him up to bring him back to his home.
Home. He doesn’t even want to call it that anymore. It currently doesn’t feel like he belongs there.
“Your father is awaiting you in his office.”, Jaemin nods at the angels’ words. “And congratulations on passing your test. We are all proud of you.” He should feel some sense of pride at those words, but he doesn’t.
Jaemin knocks on the door before he enters the big room. Nothing has changed in the five days that he was gone, except for him. He changed.
“Jaemin.”, Cupid speaks, making his way over to his son. “You passed your test. Congratulations. I knew you would do it.”
Jaemin watches as his father walks around his office. “Don’t think I haven’t been watching you these past days.” Cupid points to one of the chairs in his office, signaling for Jaemin to sit down. “I told you, you are not allowed to fall in love. And yet you did. You broke the only rule that I gave you.”
Silence fills up the room for a few seconds, as Armor thinks about his next words.
“Tell me about her.”
“What?”, Jaemin stutters, clearly not expecting to hear that.
“Tell me about her. I want to know why you broke the only rule I gave you and risked yourself being banned from here.”
Jaemin takes a deep breath, knowing that his next words are going to have to carry a lot of meaning.
“Her name is Y/N. She is a human, as you probably know. She goes to the school you sent me to and-“
“No, Jaemin. Don’t tell me the basic facts about her. I already know so much. Tell me what made you fall in love with her.”
“Oh wow, where to start?”, Jaemin wipes his hands on his jeans, trying to ease some of the tension in his body. “Well, she is kind. I think that that’s the first thing I noticed about her. The way she talks to people and helps them no matter what. She is so selfless. Always looking out for others and putting her own worries aside. She rambles a lot and I think that’s the most adorable thing ever. Sometimes she doesn’t know when to stop and talks for minutes about the most random stuff to ever be heard. Oh, and the way she loves. I’ve never seen someone love so much and so unconditional. She has such a big heart and I love that. I love her. I love her so much.”
A small smile forms on his fathers face and Jaemin swears it’s been too long since he’s seen his father smile.
“You know I have to give you a punishment for your actions.”
Jaemin sighs, knowing that whatever follows will probably not be good. “Yeah, whatever it is, I will take it.”
His father walks back to his desk, taking a seat. “You know the Gods weren’t exactly happy to see you fall in love with a mortal. They’ve been quiet upset and I talked to them. Together we found a punishment that would make up for it.” Jaemin lowers his head, watching his hands nervously fidgeting.
“We decided to send you down to earth. Permanently. Of course you are allowed to visit every now and then, but your home won’t be here anymore. You will be mortal just like the other humans on earth.”
At his fathers’ words, Jaemin’s head shoots up. “What?”
“You heard me.”, his father says, his wings twitching a little. “You can pack your things and leave whenever you are ready.”
“But what about the job? I thought I was supposed to take over.”
“I think I can manage this job for a few eternities more.”
Jaemin just sits there, not knowing what to say or what to think.
“Dad, I don’t know what to say. How can I ever thank you for that.”
“Thank me?”, his dad asks. “Don’t thank me. It’s a punishment after all.” He sends his son a wink, before grabbing a pile of paper on his desk. “What are you waiting for? You should pack, before I change my mind.”
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
You never felt pain like this. Ever since Jaemin left, you have been curled up in your bed, crying your eyes out and ignoring all the calls from Haechan and Jeno.
You know they just care about you, but you don’t feel like talking to anyone. You just want Jaemin and no one else.
“Y/N?”, your mom asks as she knocks on your door. “Y/N sweety, there is someone at the door for you.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. Can you send them away please?”
But your mom doesn’t leave. “I really think you should talk to him. He seems kind of nervous, and he has flowers.”
Him? Flowers? Does Haechan really think flowers would make you feel better? With a groan you stand up, opening your door and ignoring the worried look on your moms face as you make your way downstairs.
“Haechan, you know I love you, but I really don’t feel like having company right now and I would love if you could leave so I can wither in self-pity.” You keep your eyes on the ground as you open the door, not wanting to reveal the tears on your face.
“That’s unfortunate, I would have loved to take you out on a date.” That’s not Haechan’s voice and those are definitely not Haechan’s shoes you are looking at.
In an instant you look up and can’t believe when you see Jaemin standing there. He is dressed in a black suit, his hair neatly combed back and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Jaemin?”, you ask, not believing your eyes.
“Yep, that’s my name.”
Tears fill your eyes as you look him at him, taking in his soft features. It feels like you haven’t seen him in months, while in reality it’s just been a few hours. “It’s really you?” He nods, having tears in his eyes as well. “But how?”
“I will explain it all to you later. But before that I want to take you out on the best date you will ever have.”
You take a few seconds, trying to control your feelings, but failing miserably and just letting your tears stream down your face.
“Oh, fuck it.”, you say, before leaping into his arms and pressing your lips on his. You hear him sighing into the kiss, letting go of the flowers and wrapping both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you as close as possible as he lets his lips speak all the words he could never put into a sentence.
In that moment you decide that kissing him is the second best feeling you ever get to have.
The best feeling of all is loving him.
And that you will until the end of time. In this universe and in every other one as well.
Bonus scene
The cafeteria table is filled with laughter. Jaemin can’t help but to admire the little friend group he made. Haechan and Jeno bickering over an unknown reason, Mark feeding a piece of an apple to Cherry and you, tucked under his arm, laughing at your friends.
“I swear,”, Mark starts to say. “I’m so glad everything turned out the way it did.”
“Why so sentimental all of the sudden?”, Haechan asks, eyeing his friend with a suspicious look on his face.
“I don’t know. I’m just happy.”, Mark shrugs, taking one of Cherry’s hands in his.
“Me too.”, Jaemin speaks up, catching the attention of his friends. “I’m also happy with the way things turned out for us.”
You poke his side, laughing softly at the way he flinches together. “Is my baby getting emotional?” A gagging sound can be heard from the other side of the table.
“You guys are gross.”, Jeno says, making Haechan nod in agreement.
You just roll your eyes, throwing french fries at their heads. “You’re just jealous that your discord kittens are actually 56 year old men.”
The two boys start to complain, but no one listens to the excuses they try to come up with.
“No, but seriously.”, Mark starts again. “If you hadn’t sent Cherry my song, we would never sit here.”
Jaemin eyes Mark with confusion written all over his face. “Song? I didn’t-“ But before Jaemin can finish his sentence, you elbow him into the side, making him groan in pain.
“Yeah, right? That was so clever and kind of Jaemin. I’m really glad the two of you ended up together. You make a great couple.”, you tell Mark and Cherry, making both of them show you a sweet grin in return.
Jaemin looks at down at you with his eyebrows frowned, but you just give him a warm smile and lay your head on his shoulder.
And that’s when he realizes that it was you all along. You sent Mark’s song to Cherry and you were the reason Jaemin passed his test and Mark and Cherry fell in love. It was you that made it possible for all of you sitting at this table together.
All Jaemin can do is pull you closer to him and plant a soft kiss on your forehead. He will talk to you later and express the gratitude he has for the things you’ve done. But for now Jaemin enjoys the moment of quietness that he has with the love of his life in his arms and his friends around him.
This is the life Jaemin always dreamed of having and now his dream finally came true.
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thebloomingheather · 3 months
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I'm obsessed with this fic like the way you've written Buck's slow descent into depression until he saw suicide as the only option is both realistic and heartbreaking and also the effort you put into replying to your comments is impressive I love reading through them it's like every chapter gets a director's cut in the comment section
Thank you! I write slow burns for those reasons. When it comes to portraying mental illness, realism is what I like to see. A gradual spiral just feels more authentic to that experience for me personally, and hits harder on the page.
And thank you for taking note of the care that goes into responding to the comments! I try to reply to everyone as long as they're courteous, and so far 80% of my experience on that note has been positive. I really do appreciate every single engagement, and while it can be a lot of work, it's also nice to see how different everyone's reading can be, what they've taken from the story, and the things they uniquely pick up on from inference alone. And the fact it can double as a director's cut to look back on is a wholesome idea, and I'm glad you can enjoy this paratext element with me. I find it very sweet that overall it truly is a communal activity, and everyone's a part of it. Those B-rolls wouldn't exist without the feedback that lead into them after all.
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