#the tax breaks and legal rights are nice

[honeykaes]

inside/out

wriothesley x convict!reader II 2.6k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no set pronouns, convict!reader,  fingering, squirting, marking, biting, piercings, rough sex, hate sex, office sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, creampie, you and wriothesley are exes, angst, degradation, domestic disputes, set in fontaine before the traveler comes, fontaine plot points references, discussions of legal systems and injustice, mention of drugs, discussion of murder, open ending for interpretation, unedited

synopsis: you swore that you would leave the fortress of meropide when your sentence was done. And when you do, your relationship with wriothesley sours as your two break up. Five years later, you're shocked to end up right back in the iron prison where he’s there waiting for you.

The world seemed so distant to you. The whispering throughout sounded as if it were an untuned violin as they lapped up the drama they so desperately craved in their lives. The Oratrice Mécanique D'analyse Cardinale clicked in the irritating orchestra about to come up with its verdict. 

The lawyer next to you fumbled with his papers with a look of shame and defeat in his eyes. Out of everyone in this room, you felt for him. He would surely bounce back with the next chum in your position.

The loud smacking of a cane caused the whispering to dissipate as you finally lifted your head up to witness the Iudeux of Fontaine.His eyes seemed heavy with sorrow. This wasn’t the first time you had witnessed this expression directed at you. Your eyes flickered to your God, Furina yawning as she whispered something to herself in her boredom.

 You can’t help feeling irked at her expression; at all of their expressions.

Why were these people allowed to judge you? 

The only answer you could find was justice was only for the privileged lucky, and you clearly had run out of it.

The contraption glowed, as Neuvillette collected your sentence.

“Under Article D of the Fontainian Code of Law, you are found guilty of fraud. Under Article J of Fontainian Law, you are found guilty of tax evasion…” he rambled on as you bit your lip.

It seemed that the rumors were right, after all. Most people who come out of the Fortress of Meropide find themselves right back in.

”And finally you are guilty of 1st degree murder of your former business partner, Henry Maugham. As a result, you will be serving a life sentence at the Fortress of Meropide,” Neuvillette announced.

You couldn’t help chuckling, covering your mouth from the cruel smile on your face. The whispering sparked once more, heavy eyes judging every movement you made. You finally lifted your hand away, smiling at the judge, but your eyes remained cold on Neuvillette’s somber ones

”Glad to see you never change, Monsieur."

The Melusine officers escorted you down to the Meropide, with only a small sack of clothes you were allowed to bring. From the photos, to the pat downs, it all seemed nostalgic to you. How many familiar faces would you see? You assumed quite a few.

This underwater prison you desperately wanted to escape from in the past, would be your sole future.

Finally finished with orientation, you threw your sack on your assigned bed sitting down, looking down on the steel ground.  With the bed squeaking, your roommates whisper, feeling the heavy air as they make their escape and let you have some space.  

Just as you sigh, thankful to have the room briefly to yourself to process, credit coupons hovered in your view as you looked up to see a tiny girl. Her long ear twitched in anticipation, ruby eyes gleaming at you, but at the same time, held pity in them.

”It’s nice to see you again. I really thought I wouldn’t have the opportunity once you left five years ago,” she chimed, brushing a bit of her baby blue hair.You looked at the tickets trying to give it back to her silently but she puffed her cheeks and shook her head.

”No! Think about it like this; this is for all the birthdays I missed,” she reasoned. You sighed, moving to massage the headache threatening to form.

-”...Sigwienne…why are you here? I’m sorry but-”

”Don’t apologize!” she interrupted, ears slightly drooping. “I, of all people, knew how much you wanted to get out. I-I’m here because the Duke wanted to see you.”

”No.”

”Please! I thought you wouldn’t be mad at him anymore,” she pleaded as eyes blew wide, pleading.Your gaze grew more bitter: 

“So he sent you to soften the blow or some shit,” you grunted. Sigwienne furrowed her eyebrows in disappointment before you clicked your tongue catching your mistake.

”Sorry…language. I know…” you muttered. Your eyes looked up to see a guard at the door, glaring down at you. It seems she was the nice “cop” and if you kept refusing her, he would get involved. You turn back to Sigwienne’s pleading gaze.

”Fine. Lead the way…” you grumbled getting up from your place. Sigwienne smiled, clasping her tiny hand with yours. 

”Off we go then!”

The only solace Sigwienne gave was a timid smile, waving as the door to the Duke’s office closed, leaving you with a man you haven’t seen in five years.

Your former boyfriend. Honestly, the man you naively thought you’d have happily ever after with.

He took a sip of tea before sighing, throwing papers on his desk as he leaned into his chair that creaked from the shifting weight. His hair was the same, black with odd streaks of gray hair he always had. He had a few new piercings on his ears though. 

”In all these years, I didn’t think I’d see your face again,” he murmured.Your jaw tense and eyes narrowed. His voice seemed as irritating as he’s ever been.

“You think I wanted you to see your sorry ass again, Wriothelsey?” you barked back. -He clicked his tongue, rolling his icy eyes.

 “I can see you’re not over our breakup..” he grumbled, drumming his fingers on the desk. You crossed your eyes, looking down with him with all the defiance you could muster up.

”If that’s what you want to call you being a selfish prick, sure,” you replied back.Wriothesley's nostrils flared but he didn’t spout any insults back.

”I thought you said you wanted to change for the better,” he asked, grabbing a file and holding it up. Of course he knew everything. He knew the second you were preparing to dive down to the Meropide.

”I did and I was. As if I wanted to come down here again. You know that out of everyone! But, I forgot something, people are cruel. And now, I’m stuck here for the rest of my life,” you raised your hands out, proclaiming loudly.

”...Just like you wanted.”

”I did not want that and you know it!” he shouted. It seemed his temper had started to reflect out. Tension was thick in the air as you laughed.

”Oh, right. My mistake. No you wanted to stay in this shithole and be the king of it, how could I forget? Your heart only had room for one person—the Meropide— not me!”

He rose from his seat, face beginning to go red in anger.

”Don’t! I’m not playing this game with you! You know how much I loved you. I loved you so much but you knew there’s nothing out there for me.”

Nails dug in your palms hearing his response as your emotions were beginning to get to you. 

 “Well you would have made something with ME out there!” you yelled, tears beginning to weld in your eyes. You turned away, wiping your tears and shuttered. You felt embarrassed being right in the same position as you were when the two of you first broke up and crying in front of him again after years.

”...I wanted us to build a new life together. Our sentences finished at the same time. You could have left with me, but you didn’t,” you whispered, angrily wiping your face. Silence fell the both of you besides your occasional sniffle and his heavy footsteps walking closer to you.

-”...And I wanted us to build a new life together here. But I wasn’t going to stop you from getting out of the Meropide.”

A frustrated grunt ripped from you as you couldn’t hold your irritation anymore. You marched to him, glaring at his form towering over you. 

To your surprise, he leaned down and kissed you. And shocking you both, you kissed him back with just as much fervor. 

”Selfish. Blockheaded. Smug dick--” you stammered out  among the heated kisses, claiming your lips with every second. Nibbling on your bottom lip, his tongue darted in your parted mouth as you threw your arms around his shoulder. His kiss was of the familiar taste of Earl Grey you remembered he was so fond of.

“Moody, Frustrating, Manipulative asshole,” he grunted back. Article after article of clothing, fell on the floor as you fell onto his couch with a plop. Your hands ran across his firm stomach and chest.You gasped feeling his large palm cup against your sex.

”Still wearing the same underwear I smuggled in for our anniversary. I see you’re still a cheapskate or are you just sentimental?” he grunted  in your ear. His finger firmly brushed across your clit, pleasure soon beginning to reverberate throughout  your lower form. You groan, hitting his toned thigh.

”Shut the fuck up!”

Wriothesley slid your panties down until they caught on your ankle as his fingers glided along the bare cunt. He rubbed your clit with his calloused thumb.

”I see you still have rough ass hands,” you chimed. Wriothesley rolled his eyes, before chuckling.

”Yet you can’t get enough of them as always” he shot back. Fingers slowly sank inside of you as you threw your head back. His digits curled and stretched you out, tenderly pumping at a decent pace as you squirmed under his touch.

His hips bucked slightly against your thigh where you could feel how hard his cock was, desperately pressed against his gray slacks.He hitched your legs over his broad shoulders as he nibbled your inner thighs—leaving a wake of discolored marks and soft bite marks.

”Fuck! Fuck!”you whined out, hands shooting out to pull his soft hair. Your legs caved in closer to his cheeks as he pumped his faster.

He leaned in, letting his tongue brush against your clit as it was the last thing to push you over. Back arched, fluid spraying from you as he continually lapped at your overstimulated cunt as the liquid made a mess of his face and the couch. 

As your body fell, breath heavy from your high, his fingers pulled out of you—walls unconsciously tightening, wishing they would stay. Satisfied with your fucked out expression, he smirked wiping his hand with his chin from your fluids. You narrow your eyes at him, watching him swirl his tongue around cleaning his fingers that were coated in your essence.

”Your face, it’s pissing me off,” you grunted. Wriothesley briefly laughed. Your heart fluttered momentarily. You hated how much you missed it.

“Said the person who squirted on my face. Been a long time hasn’t it, hm?” he teased. You glared before his eyes softened to something genuine.

”..Yeah, me too.”

He sat on his couch, shifting his pants down as his cock slapped on his lower stomach

He stroked his length as it pulsated in his grip. Every once and a while, a wavering moan left his lips. It seemed he had a new piercing too.

A Prince Albert piercing, glinting from the light and precum budding at his flushed tip.You shifted your hips, contemplating if you should go to the next step of someone that was your ex, but seeing him shutter, muffling his mouth and hearing your name was the push you needed.

”Fuck I missed you inside of me,” you groaned, kissing him. You hovered over his cock lining yourself up before sinking down. His hands found their way to the globe of your ass, grabbing the mounds tightly before you managed to reach his hilt.

”Like old times…” he whispered  out, hazy lust gazing over his eyes.

”Just like it…” you moaned.

His pace was relentless as you called out his name. His jaw was clenched, watching your slick dripped down your thighs and his cock as he continued to slam you down on it. Your whole body jumped, as his hips moved up to meet him pulling you down his cock.

”I missed you so fucking much. Your smile. Your voice…fuck your scent. I couldn’t sleep properly for months when you left.” he groaned. 

”I-I couldn’t either…fuck! There! Right there!!” you yelled out. HIs cock continued to press against your soft walls, hitting the spot that caused your voice to reach higher and higher, stomach churning as you almost hit your release.

“ ‘Thesley,” you cried out, nails harpooning into his back as you brought him closer to you. Your body shuttered, walls quivering and tightening. He clenched his jaw, having a harder time bouncing you on his cock.

”...I still fucking love you!” Wriothesley grunted, sinking his teeth into your neck. With one final rough thrust— his hips faltered—as thick ropes of cup jet out and inside of you. He slowly thrusted, moving to try to nurse down his high.

You shifted your neck, leaning his chin up before you kissed him once more. 

For a second, just for a second, it was like you never left him. That you two were still together.That you were in your early twenties, dumb and in love.

Wriothesley broke the kiss first as your fantasy was briefly shattered. His eyes were soft but clearly searching for something within yours. 

“...You still never told me why you are back here,” he replied. You groaned, and rolled your eyes pushing his face away as he grunted. You rose from him, his cum and your slick drooling from your hole before you went to grab your panties and put them back on.

Wriothesley merely sighed, lifting his boxers and pants back on. 

”...I was framed,” you admitted, putting your bra on. Just as Wriothesley was about to put his shirt on, he looked up in shock.

”What”

”Out there, I owned a small cute cafe. You know the one I always talked about based on a beloved classic, Les Aventures d’Alice au Pays des Merveilles,” you chuckled to yourself, recalling reading it to Sigwienne with Wriothesley at times. 

“ I didn’t have funds. Who would fund an ex-convict, y’know. But I met Henry, the aristocrat who promised my dreams. I thought things were going well until I discovered he had used the business as a front to sell absinthe.” You looked down, finally buttoning your shirt on and looking at Wriothesley’s somber face.

“He tried to kill me, I killed him first.”

Wriothelsey briefly closed his eyes processing the information before buttoning his own shirt.

“..But you know this country more than anyone else. He had power after death, and I was pinned with the crime by his frustrated associates,” you whispered, adjusting your color to hide the marks you knew Wriothesley left.

“I can help. We can catch them and get you back--” 

“There’s no point.” you sighed, but smiled. You chuckled humorlessly, walking to the door to his office. You clenched the handle, your back turned to hide your expression. 

Your real expression.

”I guess I wasn’t meant to be out there after all."

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley smut #wriothesley imagines #wriothesley scenarios #gi smut #wriothesley angst

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

This is an exceedingly random question, but it's been on my mind insomuch that I might have a fic idea stewing in my brain: do you have any thoughts on Cybertronian marriage/bonding concepts or rituals? For example, what exactly makes two people "consorts"?

Omg, I'm so excited to talk about this!! So I actually made a huge list of headcanons for bonding in TFA that I was gonna use as a reference in a fic but then I never got around to the fic. Instead, I'm just gonna toss all those rules in below because I have Some Thoughts™.

But before I get into them, I do wanna say, because TFs don't follow the same gender binary that humans do, I think bonding is seen as an act done between two bots who want to spend the rest of their existence together. There are no "roles" in a relationship, like "wife" or "husband," it is legit just "I am so madly in love with you and I want to spend every moment with you until we both die." As such, bonding for political purposes or class status isn't really a thing. The term consort really works here, since it's a gender-neutral term used to refer to the romantic companion or partner of someone.

Anyway, here's the extensive list of headcanons I threw together. I'm gonna throw a read more in there since this is super long:

You can be legally bonded without being spark bonded.

Legal bonding gives similar benefits to marriage, such as tax benefits, shared insurance, and being priority emergency contact.

Spark bonding often considered closer and more intimate but also more dangerous as when your conjunx dies you spark could go supernova and kill you as well.

As such, it's harder to break a spark bond. While not deadly, it's painful. So most will be legally bonded for a while before eventually spark bonding once their sure the relationship will last.

There are huge benefits to spark bonds though. The major one being that you can reach out through it and sort of communicate with your conjunx. You can't exchange words but you can exchange emotions and sense when they're in pain or distress. It also provides a deeper connection with the conjunx and better synchronicity with them.

Megatron actually banned spark bonds within the Decepticon army pretty early on. He didn't want two soldiers dying when one got killed.

The only exception to this rule is Strika and Lugnut, who got bonded right before the war broke out.

Pre-war bonding ceremonies could be incredibly lavish and similar to weddings with a ceremony followed by a reception and party. Traditionally everyone was expected to dress up in nice armor and decorate with jewelry and capes or robes.

Obviously, those who weren't rich often did smaller ceremonies. One major tradition among many was to get bonded in a bar.

The major acts during the ceremony is to review what was done for conjunx ritus, read vows to each other and exchange vials of innermost energon, have all guests affirm their faith and hope in the relationship, and have a third party (whether that be a higher ranking politician or a bartender) announce the bond as legitimate.

That's all for the legal aspect of bonding. Spark bonding is always done in private, away from everyone else.

Spark bonding is done by touching and merging sparks. Because of how intimate and dangerous this is, it is imperative that it be done in a safe secluded space.

Conjunx Ritus doesn't need to be performed before getting bonded, but it's expected and even concerning if you don't do it. It's like getting engaged before getting married. Not technically required, but definitely expected.

The four acts are: the Act of Intimacy, the Act of Devotion, the Act of Disclosure, and the Act of Profference. These don't have to be done in a specific order. Yeah I stole this straight from MTMTE sue me.

There also isn't really a way to indicate that someone is bonded, like a ring. External displays of bonding just aren't a thing.

That being said, I do think after starting trade routes with Earth and interacting with American culture, some form of transformation safe matching jewelry would start to get big among bonded couples.

That's all I have for now, but I am sure in the future when I incorporate these headcanons into an actual fic, I'll add more!

#thanks for the ask! #tfa #transformers animated #conjunx endura #spark bonding #strika #lugnut #megatron #they're mentioned may as well tag them #my ramblings #sorry for any spelling errors i am super tired rn

[arionwind]

So I've been critical of Billionaire Bruce Wayne a lot in the past, but I am increasingly coming around. I think I've talked before about Mackenzee Scott and the difficulties with trying to give away that amount of money fast enough to outpace the interest and dividends and other ways it balloons on itself, but just in case, the gist of it is that there's a limit to what an individual can give to charity or gift to friends before taxes start mounting ever higher. At which point, yes you theoretically could give 18 billion or whatever to the federal government, if you were okay with most of that going to defense contractors and making the world a worse place. I am going to assume most of us are not.

Bruce Wayne has it worse though. Assuming roughly equivalent taxation schemes, his overtaxed charitable givings would likely still go to defense contractors. But it's DC. You can't convince me that, if you trace it back, most of them are owned by LexCorp. I cannot blame Brue for not wanting to fund Lex's latest plan to villify him, kill his boyfriend, and blow up South Dakota or whatever. So giving money beyond the legal to charity is out - Lex and the corrupt feds will have to do without his billions.

Now in the real world there's foreign tax dodges and money laundering schemes that one could maybe use to filter money to charities without the tax problem coming up. It's exhausting, suspicious, and not without its own notable overhead, and the people in charge of it who would profit are also not nice, but it exists, sort of. In the DC universe though? There's no way Penguin, the League of Assassins, Vandal Savage, or some other world-spanning sinister figure doesn't skim off the top of criminal funding methods like that. Not only would trying taint the reputation of Billionaire himbo Brue Wayne, it would go right back to funding Batman's enemies, just like the tax thing.

Which is why he keeps adopting new kids. And why Dick and all the rest have not stopped hearing him asking why he doesn't have great-grandkids yet. Do they have kids yet? No? Gotta get on that so Bruce can have great-grandkids. Just hear me out.

Individual giving limits are just that - by individual. Bruce Wayne can only give so much to charity each year before it starts going to Lex or the League too. But Dick Grayson can give just as much. So can Jason Todd. So can literally every other kid Gotham's Favourite Himbo has ever adopted . . . once they have it in their name.

Because that's the problem, see. He can't just gift that much to each of them to pass on in turn. As mentioned above, there's annual gift-giving limits on things like that he wants to avoid. So the solution is to set up a trust for each of his kids, using planned tax dodges the wealthy have encoded into the laws to keep their children solvent. After enough time, that trust can be made to just become theirs, free and clear, with minimal if any taxation, depending on how it is set up, and then the kid is a second front in Brucie's war on his own wealth.

Thing is, this process is slow and can only increase the giving by a factor of as many kids as he has. Hence the comical rate of adoption. Every single Batkid has a fancy trust designed to siphon money to where it needs to go and out of Bruce Wayne's funds, but you need way more kids than even he has to make that happen fast enough to make a dent in billions.

So he needs more kids. More adoptions. Adult adoptions. Grandkids. Great-grandkids. I guarantee at least once he has asked Clark to "feud" with Lois, break up with her, marry him long enough to get him and his line entrusted, then go back. Clark was not up for it. Barry was not up for it. Ollie thought it would be good for a laugh, but even Bruce isn't foolish enough to tie his fortunes to Queen's.

People think it's a joke when their "Welcome to the Justice League" info pamphlet warns them not be alarmed if Batman proposes to them - he isn't trying to seduce them, he just wants their kids for his collection. It isn't a joke. Batman wants your kids. No not that way, it's a tax dodge. No, not that kind of tax dodge, the good kind. It's okay to turn him down, though. He won't take it personally.

#dc #batman #essay #been a while since i used that tag

[fuck-customers]

The other day I was doing an exchange on shoes for this guy. I asked if he wanted a bag, he said yes, so I charged him one 5-cent bag tax. The total was 5 cents. He tried to pay with, guess what?

Yup.

A fucking $100 bill.

For $0.05

I said I didn't have the change. Small lie, because I technically did, but at this point I don't care. I am saying whatever the fuck makes my job easier if I won't get in trouble for it. And there is no fucking way in Hell I'm breaking a hundred for FIVE CENTS. That's ridiculous.

He got mad at me, said it was legal tender so I had to take it. I tried to say that I literally did not have enough change, I literally could not take it, and he was like "call your manager to break it then"

(I'm technically a manager now too, and I had the change key, I'm not calling the other manager over 5 cents. why the fuck do people like this think that makes one iota of sense)

He ended up storming off with the bag, and in retrospect I should have taken the shoes out and just handed them to him with a smile and no bag right when he tried to make me take the hundred, but I didn't think of that. The ladies behind him paid for his bag and were super nice.

Fuck that guy. I don't see why customers have to make 5 cents such a big deal, especially because if he'd been NICE about it I would've waived the bag tax. I do that a lot and no one cares.

Also why the fuck do customers love paying with hundreds for the smallest purchases it's fucking ridiculous

[eaglesnick]

“Trust, once lost, could not be easily found. Not in a year, perhaps not even in a lifetime.” – J.E.B. Spredemann

Oh what a surprise!

We learn today that yet another senior Tory failed to declare their financial connection with big business. Therese Villiers was the Environment Secretary in Boris Johnson's government between July 2019 and February 2020 and held shares in Shell worth over £70,000. Under the rules all MP’s have to register their financial interests

“…or any benefits which he or she receives, which others might reasonably consider to influence his or her actions or words as a Member of Parliament.”

The fact that it was the Secretary of State for the Environment, who failed to reveal her financial connection to Shell, makes the breaking of this rule particularly damning.

Putting aside Ms Villiers own financial interest in Shell, the Conservative Party accepted more than £1 million from the energy sector when Boris was in power.

“Under Johnson’s leadership, the Conservative Party has received a series of huge donations from the energy sector, totalling more than a million pounds since the 2019 general election."  (opendemocracy: 01/11/21)

Rishi Sunak, in turn, accepted money from the energy sector to help fund his bid to become leader of the Conservative Party.

“Rishi Sunak accepted cash from fossil fuel investors in campaign to become PM. Donations from supporters with links to oil and gas helped fund new Prime Minister Rishi Sunak's Ready4Rishi leadership campaign."

It is probably coincidence, but

“Shell paid zero windfall tax in UK despite record global profits.” (Guardian:27/11/22)

And it is probably coincidence that Sunak is issuing hundreds of North Sea oil and gas licences for drilling despite the worsening climate crisis due to excessive CO2 emissions and  dire warnings from climate scientists.  

Returning to Ms Villiers, she has apologised for beaching the rules, claiming she had not realised her shareholdings were worth so much:

“Ms Villiers deeply regrets her failure to monitor the value of shareholdings and has offered her sincere apologies,” (Irish News: 11/08/23)

It must be very nice to be so well off that you don’t know you have a shareholding of over £70,000 in an oil company. Putting that aside, we have Ms Villiers assurance that nothing she did when Environment Secretary was influenced by her substantial shareholding in Shell, so that’s alright.  Except of course it isn’t all right. Ms Villiers has previous.

In 2021 she was one of three Tory MP’s who were called upon to resign after trying to influence judicial proceedings.

“Three Tory MPs should be suspended over an "egregious" bid to influence judicial proceedings, the Commons Standards Committee has said. Sir Roger Gale, Theresa Villiers, Natalie Elphicke, Adam Holloway and Bob Stewart were found to have broken the rules by seeking to interfere in a legal decision regarding their former colleague Charlie Elphicke who was jailed for sexual assault last year.”  (itvx:21/07/21)

What’s more, Ms Villiers is on record as stating:

“International law is a ‘political construct’ and breaking it is ‘routine’ (Independent: 14/09/20)

All laws are political constructs and it seems to me to be a very short step from “routinely” breaking international law to treating UK law with the same air of contempt. The fact that Ms Villiers has tried to influence judicial proceedings in favour of a friend, failed to declare her financial interest in Shell when she was Environment Secretary, and considers breaking international law to be the norm raises very serious questions concerning her probity.

Sunak had this to say to the British public:

“Trust is earned and I will earn yours”.

I’m afraid you haven’t earned mine Ms Villiers.

#uk politics #rishi sunak #therese villiers #rule breaking #shell oil gas #environment #international law. judicial proceedings #interferrence #trust #boris johnson

[limetameta]

Solf's sister: What if I told you I was planning on having a child?

Solf: Why would you do that?

Sister: Don't you think you should be thinking about having children? Zlata definitely wants you to have kids. She keeps asking me more about you than she does about my family plan.

Solf: Tell Zlata she's already a grandmother, but I'm keeping it under wraps.

Sister: Solf, your cat doesn't count.

Solf: Oh no?

Sister: No.

Solf: First time I'm hearing of this. I put its full name on some papers and now it's getting military dependent benefits.

Sister: You did not put your cat as your codependent.

Solf: I did, indeed.

Sister: That's for FAMILY.

Solf: Snowflake is family.

Sister: You PUT the name "Snowflake" on the papers?

Solf: Well, no, I invented a paper name.

Sister: So you lied.

Solf: It's not lying. Snowflake's legal name is Sasha Solf Kimblee.

Sister: People think you have a child!

Solf: That's not my problem.

Sister: I'm telling Zlata about this.

Solf: Go ahead.

*one phone call later*

Solf, via telephone: Sasha Solf Kimblee, yes. I use Snowflake for around the house. No, I'm not going to go to prison for this. If I didn't go to prison for threatening to blow up my superior officers, then I won't go for this. If anything, why don't they check the documents? I'm doing them a favour. This is a social experiment, Zlata. The military should thank me. *sigh* No, I'm not dating anyone. No, I'm not secretly married with an officer for tax benefits, but I should. I should be, I agree. I don't care about the nice girl you met who would be perfect for me - hearing about how many cats she has won't change my mind. She has 10 cats? Isn't that a bit overkill, honestly? Where does she keep them? Oh she has a house. Really? Not that far away from the concert hall, no? That's in the centre. Well why isn't she married if she's my age? What's her excuse? Oh the ten cats. Well, that's not that bad. I come with a lot more baggage. I don't buy this. She sounds too perfect. What's the catch? Whose is she? Oh so that's why she's not married. Ha. You think I'm that desperate that I would marry someone who comes from that family? That entire family is full of conmen and criminals and you want to marry your son - Zlata - Zlata, you aren't getting grandchildren from me. No, Zlata. Well, what if I can't? Did you think about this? Hm? I bet you didn't... Oh you did. That's the first thing you thought of. *looking at his sister* *mouthing at her* She guts me. *sister nodding* *back to Zlata* Zlata, can you call another time? We're leaning into the expensive phone time now. Oh you got your pension. Oh no, I'm paying for your telephone bill right? Right. No, go ahead, Zlata, talk all you like. Zlata, Zlata, I'm breaking up. *sister brings over some papers and starts crumpling them* Zlata, I can't hear you. There's got to be some sort of *crinkle crinkle* Zlata, can you hear me? *puts telephone down*

Sister: Imagine living with her.

Solf: This is why I left at 18.

Sister: You know, as the man in the family, she's going to be your responsibility. ;) I'm gonna marry into a wealthy family and won't bring her with me. It's always the son that moves with his bride into the family home hehehehe.

Solf: This is why I'm not getting married. Besides, can't we hire someone to take care of her?

Sister: She scares them off!

Solf: Right, it's Zlata we're talking about. Of course.

#metallic crimson

[nickersonagency2q]

Insurance company near me

Please let me know what you think about this.

We can arrange a consultation with a local insurance agent or broker at your earliest convenience. Because of this, assistance is constantly accessible. In order to retain the top employees, businesses are prepared to pay CEOs the market rate. This tax has been continuously collected for the previous 30 years.

Insurance company near me

Our success depends on each and every one of our customers. Our company is run by relatives. It is crucial to keep an eye on the government at all times.

Nickerson Insurance correctly predicted that the business sector would take notice of their innovative approach to risk assessment. Customer loyalty is the foundation of any successful business. Our team has a strong reputation in the neighborhood due to their expertise and diligence homeowners insurance ct We can stop worrying about it since there will be a satisfactory outcome for all parties. Limited protection is provided through Nickerson Insurance. We won't willfully break any rules. Nobody has volunteered to help thus far without being asked. In the event of illness, we will pay for any expenses related to your care. You might always decide to disregard the outcomes. Instead, you will receive assistance that is customized to your particular combination of challenges. Research on the healing effects of retail therapy has increased recently. In our shop, you may get all of these things and more. Given that there are countless conceivable combinations, this seems like a reasonable assumption to make.

It is a wonderful accomplishment to be regarded as a "health insurance expert" by one's peers.

We visit and provide service in numerous cities throughout Connecticut, including Waterford, Groton, Norwich, and Warwick. The majority of Nickerson's customers are from western Connecticut and southwest Rhode Island. Making sense of the Nickerson Agency right now would be futile. In addition to its main office in Groton, Connecticut, The Nickerson Agency also maintains a presence in Norwich, Rhode Island. Connecticut is accessible by commuter rail from both Boston and New York City. Hartford now has a new location for Nickerson Agency. Connecticut's state capital is Hartford. Norwich, Rhode Island couldn't be more dissimilar from the "typical" American megacity. The states of Connecticut is home to both of these cities. The headquarters of the Nickerson Corporation are in Rhode Island, but it also has locations throughout several other states. In the entire state of Connecticut in the United States, there is only one truly significant city. In the Constitutional State, a varied population resides. Working with an expert insurance agent will save the client time and money. Here, the customary steps are being taken. Every single one of our clients receives the utmost care and attention. We welcome all businesses, from one-man operations to Fortune 500 companies. The vast majority of our clients are people.

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We are striking deals with more than 15 insurance companies to benefit drivers of different financial backgrounds. We promise to offer the most competitive prices on the market.

It can be difficult to find affordable insurance on your own; a local organization might be able to help. We chose a choice that might work out nicely in the given situation. These suggestions are useful for both newbies and seasoned professionals. You should learn everything you can about the retail sector before posing as an industry authority.

Bicycle insurance policyholders may be qualified for discounts from their insurer. To uncover the facts, more research will certainly be required insurance firm nearby The cost of emergency repairs that aren't covered by insurance can offset any savings you make on maintenance. If you sustain a working injury without workers' compensation, you may be responsible for paying thousands of dollars in medical expenses and missed earnings. Legal action against the negligent party may be taken to recover any costs in excess of the insurance settlement. In Connecticut, you have the legal right to sue an uninsured motorcycle rider who damages your property. In Florida, liability insurance is required.

self-assured in one's ability

A local family runs the Insurance Group's Nickerson office. Instead, the word "Nickerson" has been proposed. The company is currently known officially as Nickerson.

It's challenging to see anything because of the persistent darkness. You can anticipate hearing from one of our insurance specialists soon regarding scheduling a training session. Questions? Our reaction time is unrivaled when compared to rivals. The major priority at the moment is strategic planning for the future.

Customer satisfaction is very important to us. Please don't hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or need help.

Stop questioning your abilities and have faith in our qualified staff.

Keep away from somebody who is less strong than you. You've found the proper place if you're looking for "Insurance to Fit Your Lifestyle." Paying for insurance you won't use is a waste. Our insurance plans are adaptable and may be customized to your company's and its employees' needs. We hope that this information will be useful to your company.

There is no doubt that you will have a significant amount of time. Any of these tasks ought to be simple for you to complete. The information is available whenever, wherever, and on whatever device you want. If you have any queries or concerns concerning your insurance coverage, kindly get in touch with Nickerson Insurance at the aforementioned address or phone number. We appreciate your willingness to collaborate with us to identify a solution that satisfies everyone. Please let us know if there is any way we can be of assistance. Please make clear how you would like to be contacted by us. My interactions with company personnel have always been positive. They can be modified to meet your needs and may even outperform them. From this angle, it shouldn't be too difficult to find them.

It's easy to understand and use.

A web search for the problem can turn up the answer. Nickerson, Enrollment times for health insurance need to be significantly shorter. Physical witnesses are no longer required to observe the signing of legal documents thanks to electronic signatures. Nowadays, owning a car is more of a need than a convenience. You can call me at [phone] if you have any more questions. Electronic signatures provide a number of benefits over traditional wet-ink signatures. Unfortunately, we are unable to help the poor and suffering right now.

Using this method, you can save money without compromising effectiveness or quality. With this approach, we might be able to reduce costs without compromising quality.

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[mark6f]

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[jesuslists]

Jesus’ Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for 2023

Each year, Dad and the Blessed Virgin Mary get after You to make resolutions to improve Yourself and the mankind You supposedly redeemed through Your crucifixion. Here are Your Top 10 resolutions for the Son of God in 2023. Review last year’s resolutions to see if You followed through.

1. Rehire Katharine Gibbs as Your Personal Secretary. Rosemary Woods was Such. A. Disaster. She was horrible at keeping accurate records of summit meeting between Dad and Lucifer. You will never understand why God the Almighty even asked Richard Nixon for a personal referral. 2. Grant Nine More Lives to Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Instruct Your legal team to draft the memo to Dad authorizing more lives for the President of Ukraine. Remind Him how well the whole nine lives thing has worked for Tom Cruise. Doing his own stunts, are you kidding Me? 3. Release Diego Maradona from Purgatory. Now that Lionel Messi has replaced him in the pantheon of Argentina greats, it is time for Maradona’s final judgment. He was a naughty boy, not the least of which crediting that World Cup goal where he cheated to the “Hand of God.” Clearly a hand ball as well as blasphemous. He could end up in the hot place for all eternity if the tie-breaking vote is cast by St. Peter Shilton, who is set to take the rotating at-large seat on the Final Judgement Committee (FJC). 4. Reset Elon Musk’s Soul After the MOU Expires. The Archangel Michael wagered Mephistopheles over the war in Ukraine with the winner gaining control of Musk’s soul until 12:01 AM (GMT) on January 1, 2023. Michael has always been under the spell of the so-called Russian military might and  prowess, but the dark angel put the fix in with the Russian generals by promising them what Lucifer had promised Me in the wilderness that one time. Maybe once the MOU has expired, Grimes will take Musk back. 5. Get a New Girlfriend. The Blessed Virgin Mary has been after You for 2,000 years to enter into a meaningful, long-term relationship with a nice Jewish girl, but all the women in Heaven are just too nice for Your tastes. You’ve tried dabbling with earthly women, but they end up dying, are too complicated (e.g., Sharon Stone, an older woman fiasco), or like Natalie Portman, married. Your siblings Scott, Rachel, and Joseph, Jr. suggested someone more age appropriate, like Emma Watson. Also, St. Alan Rickman has been whispering in Your ear. 6. Commission a Dramedy About the War in Ukraine. On Spec. Have that New Archangel Abner inspire Adam McKay to write and direct. Antony Starr, who plays Homelander on “The Boys” as Vladimir Putin, Tom Cruise (see #2 above) as Volodymyr Zelensky, and Dame Helen Mirren as Joe Biden. Special appearances by Jonah Hill as Sergey Surovikin, the Russian commander for operations in the war, and Clare Danes as Zelensky’s wife, Olena Zelenska. 7. Flood the Hamptons. It’s been a while since the heavens really flooded the earth and You would like to jump-start the Earthly Climate Change Initiative. Also, You always get a kick out of watching wealthy and powerful people panic and cry that life is unfair. 8. Grant Pay-Per-View Rights for Lauren Boebert v. Marjorie Taylor Greene Mud Wresting Contest to Higher Ground Productions. 9. Designate Diet Mountain Dew the Official Soft Drink of Heaven. You saw this dude’s Instagram account, and now You are hooked. 10. Invent Limbo. Leave it to the morons at the Catholic Church to invent the concept of limbo (here). It’s not real despite Dante Alighieri imagining the virtuous Virgil residing for eternity in its gloom. However, everything the 45th President of the United States touches turns to [redacted] and You don’t want to spoil heaven or hell (or purgatory, because Dad cares). In Limbo, President Voldemort will be sad, and no one will hear his cries and accusations. No gold toilets, gilded thrones, or cheeseburgers. Only arugula salads. He will be instructed that if he completes all his tax returns correctly, he will be granted entrance to Heaven. Good luck with that!

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[lmlaw]

Abel Law Skilled Corporation

We present help in varied routes that tackle the problems arising out of your separation without going to Court. Marriage and Cohabitation Agreements are for single couples, engaged couples or frequent law couples. This settlement may help defend either party’s curiosity family law lawyers in sure property. This agreement can even define what would occur ought to the connection break down. This sort of agreement may help couples understand where either person stands on certain issues.

Instead of emotion and ploys, we depend on our information of the law and our advocacy expertise to protect and advance our client’s rights on the basis of facts and proof. This might sound like a simple concept, but it is of paramount importance, and sadly, is usually uncared for by other lawyers when creating a relationship with a client. To us, listening is essential family law lawyers to understanding your scenario, your targets, and how we might help you achieve them. A meeting with our lawyers is a chance for purchasers to share their tales in a protected, judgment-free setting. Our firm’s founder and namesake, Lorraine Bortolussi, is a extremely revered family lawyer who has been practising since 1984.

This help is designed to acknowledge any financial comingling of the events in a relationship as nicely as the monetary necessity of the parties if one or the other situation exists. Spousal support is usually times a heavily factual basis and is partly dependent upon the parties’ actual disclosure at the time which, not typically and simple idea. If you want extra information on spousal support please contact our office. At the tip of the day, the authorized check in a matter similar to this at all times revolves around the most effective curiosity of the kid. If the events cannot agree with each other, the particular person who decides the best interests of the child may be a Judge.

A Separation Agreement can merely include an agreement on Spousal Support or Child Support. The size of Mediation is dependent upon the cooperation of each parties and the variety of points being mentioned. The mediator has the duty of guaranteeing a safe and confidential setting for each parties. In the occasion that the mediator is unable to ensure both events family law lawyers feel secure, the Mediation either may not occur or the Mediation may be structured with either get together in a separate room or with a number of one-on-one conferences. The particulars of the Mediation can't be later utilized in courtroom, thus permitting the events to freely talk about potential solutions.

The first step in determining the appropriate amount of kid help is to discover out the payor parent’s total gross annual income, before taxes. Annual revenue is the money a person earns from employment and self-employment and income from investments. This includes revenue from all sources, including however not limited to wages, commission, self-employment income, investment and rental earnings, and so on. Our group focuses on resolving issues in families as shortly as potential, via either mediation or litigation. We have significant coaching in the preceding alternative dispute resolution methods and are capable of act as the third party neutral , overseeing the process. Further, we're capable of act as your advocate throughout mediation, arbitration or hybrid mediation/arbitration.

This might seem like splitting hairs, but it is an important distinction. In addition to requiring legal prowess, they demand understanding, consideration, and sympathy. At Visionary Law, our mission is to protect you and your beloved ones from additional stress. When you seek our companies, our family law lawyers work immediately with you to identify your objectives and allow you to create a decisive plan of motion for your case. If you need assistance drafting a thorough prenuptial agreement, litigating a baby assist problem, or filing for divorce, you'll find a way to trust our family-focused authorized team to guide you in course of a optimistic outcome.

We pride ourselves on shortening the length of time it takes to finalize divorce. A faster time frame for decision means each events are free to move on, but most importantly it means much less turmoil for the kids. But in 2020 we have mind science and the data that what we do and the way we do it can exacerbate harm. We have energy in the authorized process and this gives rise to accountability. Also missing from this analysis is that it is sometimes within the lawyer’s own personal and financial pursuits to maximise battle, or at the very least their self-interests usually are not advanced by minimizing conflict.

We are down to earth and our first precedence helps the client. We imagine that family law must conform and alter as we alter and for this reason, we constantly problem the core and limits of family law. Our staff is committed to resolving all forms of BC Estate Litigation and Will Variation points. If you’ve been ignored of a Will, our Unfair Wills lawyers can help underneath the BC Wills Estate and Succession Act also called “WESA.” We also have expertise in Elder Abuse, Power of Attorney Abuse and Adult Guardianship. The federal government is altering the language on parenting, with hopes of changing the dialog. Bill C-78 has introduced numerous amendments to the Divorce Act, which have usually been welcomed by lawyers and scholars across the country.

Family law carries with it an emotional factor which requires skilled sensibility while on the same time recognizing that points are delicate for lots of of our clients. We satisfaction ourselves in our objective to make our greatest efforts to guide our clients through each step of the continuing with empathy and compassion. Dealing with family law is an added stress on otherwise difficult instances.

#legal

[rantsandravings]

I honestly wouldn't mind if we split into 2 countries.

The "freedom" maga folks can have one, they can call it Trumpland or Republican States of America or something, and they can keep the constitution and the status quo. The rest of us can write a constitution by the people for the people and vote on it in an actual true democratic vote, and pick a new name. Both can contribute to a fund for folks to move to the country of their choosing.

In their country, they can combine church and state, make sodomy, trans folks, and gay marriage illegal, require forced birth, get rid of all gun regulations, expand police rights and immunity, promote corporate bailouts and tax breaks, ban the teaching of slavery and books that require critical thinking, criminalize all drugs, increase their military budget, get rid of all welfare and state health insurance, and prevent any and all non-white immigrants from entering.

While our new country can welcome all religions, support all people of color and immigrants, give land and sovereignty back to natives, support lgbtq folks, allow and expand reproductive rights and access, create a criminal justice system based on restorative justice, legalize weed, fight climate change and invest in renewable energy, ensure healthy food and a fed and housed populace, provide universal healthcare and paid family leave, guarantee living wages, reduce the power of corporations and invest in small businesses and entrepreneurs, regulate weapons, and pivot our education system to produce a more inspired population capable of critical thinking and innovation.

Unfortunately, Trumpland would be mad because their economy would quickly crumble without the democratic states propping them up, and without the policies that support welfare for the poor folks in their states there would definitely be riots. And what if we let them have nukes? Eeeek.

It's a nice fantasy, but it would be a logistical nightmare. And our seat at the UN? Our military bases worldwide? It could get bad. But hypothetically, it could be so good lol

#fantasy #2 countries #trumpland #secede #freedom #maga #republican #democrat #civil war #just sayin

[mayermayer65]

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[caexamtestseries]

TIPS TO GET EXEMPTION TAXATION IN CA INTER EXAM

Taxation paper is split amongst sections one is Income Tax and the opposite one is Indirect Taxes. Income Tax covers 60 marks and Indirect Taxes covers forty Marks. Taxation paper is flawlessly mixed in idea and sensible portion.

Income Tax Law  (60 marks)

Sections

Weightage

Content

1: 15%-20%

Basic Concepts

Residential  Status and Scope of Total Income

2: 25%-35%

Incomes which do  not form part of total income

Heads of Income  and the provisions governing computation of income under different heads

3: 15%-20%

Income of other  persons included in assessee’s total income

Aggregation of  income

Deductions from  gross total income

4: 15%-20%

Computation of  total income and tax liability of individuals

5: 15%-20%

Advance tax, tax  deduction at source

Introduction to  tax collection at source

Provisions for  filling return of income and self-assessment

Indirect Taxes  (40 marks)

1: 50%-80%

Levy and  Collection of CGST and IGST

Basic concepts of  time and value of supply

Input tax credit

Computation of  GST Liability

2: 25%-40%

Registration

Tax Invoice;  Credit and Debit Notes; Electronic way bill

Returns

Payment of Tax

3: 0-5%

Concept of  Indirect Taxes

GST Laws

The first query of the paper has numerous ideas amalgamated collectively which turns into very frightening for plenty college students at the marvel a way to even start to resolve the sort of query. Well, right here is something you may try. Break down the query into the distinct chapters or ideas that it has and cater to it one through one. This manner you'll now no longer simplest solution the query absolutely however nicely additionally.

After practicing issues touching on distinct heads, trying more than one issues associated with overall earnings will assist you advantage self assurance on the general software of concept in Taxation.

While making copious notes isn't feasible in the course of guidance time, do now no longer fall on more than one reasserts of such notes as they will turn out to be difficult you. While studying via the fabric and ultimately fixing sums, you could notice down elaborate elements which you want to recollect and revise on the end. Any new amendments, which includes the ones added in Capital Gains, etc. are crucial and want to be recognized through each CA aspirant trying the CA intermediate taxation paper.

Go via the illustrations supplied within side the take a look at fabric. They let you supply an part over many aspirants.

Understand every and each clause now no longer simply to crack this examination however additionally carry out nicely for your articleship. Heads must be on the pinnacle priority. Salary and House Property are taken into consideration very plenty crucial on the Intermediate level. You will usually discover a query from the Salary Head for your paper. Section quantity is likewise crucial to study as a minimum the charging section.

Thoroughly put together computation of Total Income and that is feasible while your provisions are clear.

Besides the diverse heads, a few case legal guidelines are anticipated from the TDS and TCS. Short questions are anticipated from the Basic Concepts and Residential Status. Deductions and convey ahead of losses usually emerge as a part of overall earnings so don’t overlook to deal with them within side the computation of Total Income.

Ignoring smaller subjects can come at top notch cost- recollect to cowl even the smaller subjects like TDS, Provisions of submitting returns, Exempt Income, and the likes. These are clean ones and may be truely scoring.