#the third plate

[mylordshesacactus]

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE--”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

#gay pirate plate #GOD i wish I had a picture #y'all are not prepared for the gay pirate plate #anyway we don't think my dad should have to miss out on our hijinks #we think he would much prefer to be alive to witness the nonsense #than for us to morbidly wait until he dies to begin the third generation of Gay Pirate Plate

[aristoteliancomplacency]

I have died and am dead.

#tagamemnon #fischteller #ancient fish plates #octopus #just. it’s just. #you could stick some googly eyes on there and IT WOULD MAKE NO DIFFERENCE #every nee octopus I see is my favourite. #they are all my favourites. #Getty Museum Collection #attributed to the Binningen painter #third quarter of 4th century BCE

[daughterthethird]

could you draw hunter? :D

Boy and his Bird. Boybird. Birdboy

#AAAAAAAHGHHGHGHHGGHHHGHHH #SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BUT *offers you this* #also?? this is like third time ive ever. EVER drawn hunter i think??? HAHIHIHAHKHHSKJHWUIHSJKAJISH 😭😭 #toh #the owl house #hunter #hunter toh #toh hunter #hunter deamonne clawthorne noceda wittebane etc etc etc #FUCK I JUST REALIZED I DREW HIS STUPID SHOULDER PLATE THING ON THE WRONG SIIDDDDEEEEEE

[makunezu]

i keep forgetting to post on tumblr. hi guys.

#my art #dead plate #rody lamoree #vincent charbonneau #vincerody #?? i guess #not rly tbh #but also yes really #not lovers not enemies rather a secret third thing

[cybersanctum]

Arcane is an all-you-can-eat-buffet when you love Cocky Buff Women and Angsty Pathetic Men

#and i keep filling up my plate #going back for seconds #and thirds #im chowing down #vi #viktor #silco #jinx #grayson #embessa #jayce #when you could copy paste the character list if u wanted #cuz almost all the women are cocky and/or buff #and all the men are pathetic little meow meows #im seriously buzzing #THIS SHOW #arcane

[qcoded]

This is how 9 year old me looked like while playing with makeup ♥

Ref image!!

#the owl house #toh #the collector #collector toh #toh fanart #the owl house fanart #would yall believe me if i say i had a third degree burn for half of this drawing #pro tip: dont leave plates near stoves

[genericpuff]

i have nothing to say about the newest episodes of LO

so I'll let past me from the year 2022 say it instead

because everything they said a year and a half ago ironically still applies today and i don't even know how that's possible but it's where we are 💀😭

#except now instead of it being entirely on hades' behalf it's now ALSO on hera's behalf #literally why have we gotten a whole ass third season that's continued to drag its heals on the main conflict of the story #persephone has to play superman for everyone else's trauma and never gets to address her own #we'll get episodes showing the empathetic POV's of the abusers tho #and literally all of them come down to “parents suck” #literally they're all the same backstory and plotline #like i get if that's the theme rachel is trying to go for here but how is this even a retelling of the Abduction of Persephone at this poin #persephone has so little to do that rachel has to literally shove everyone else's trauma and problems onto her plate for her to solve #all while her own trauma is still gathering dust in the corner #we're not even seeing her witness the women around her find their own strength and learning from them #because SHE'S TOO BUSY BEING WRITTEN AS THE ANSWER TO EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS #THE APOLLO PLOTLINE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE STAKES ANYMORE #CAN WE JUST DEAL WITH IT PLEASE AND END THIS FRIGGING COMIC 😭 #IT'S LITERALLY SO DEAD IN THE WATER THAT IT'S REPEATING ITSELF #lo critical #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical

[volatilechemicalz]

random vince scribble . still trying to figure out how I wanna draw him

#noodle talks #dead plate vincent #dead plate #dead plate game #defnotdoodles #doodle #sketch #🔪 #this is my third time trying to post this because my internet is a bitch #anyway fingers crossed this actually posts

[ena-113]

just watched the first episode of the One Piece live action.

No I have not seen the anime. Yes I know random facts here and there about it. I've been on the internet.

I think its cool Luffy gives zero(0) fucks. Zoro has cool swords and earrings. Nami's staff is hella badass

a meme I just made <3

#watched it with my mum and sister #they liked it too #might update this per watch #that'd be fun #i want Zoro's earrings #too bad im allergic to gold plating #and dont have a third ear piercing #i could prob find a way tho #like have silver/steel inserts and one of em be a cuff #no idea how id get that tho #k now on to the boring tags #one piece #one piece live action #one piece live adaptation #one piece luffy #one piece zoro #one piece nami #one piece meme #one piece review #kinda #i guess #opla #opla luffy #opla zoro #opla nami #opla netflix

[broodygaming]

Our yearly cookie plate tradition begins! 🎄❄️🍪 wish me luck! The marathon is just ramping up!!

#baking #christmas cookies #so much! and SO much more to go! this is like less than a third of the total cookies #we do more plates each year I swear haha #I’m doing all the roll out cookies tonight #and then tomorrow all the drop cookies and we’ll get help decorating these #so tomorrow it’s the Krinkle cookies and the ginger cookies and the m&m cookies and the blondies #yikes haha it’s a lot when I say it but they’ll all go fast #the roll out cookies take forever cuz your trays need to be cold #im waiting on trays in mh fridge rn haha

[aprilsinclairesq]

Me when I finish bioshock 2

#me when I don't finish my third plate at the buffet #augustus sinclair #bioshock #bioshock 2 #Sinclaircore #meme #mine #Sinclair

[deadshadowcreature]

It’s almost summer☀️🪷

#my art #nezha #prince nezha #third lotus prince #lmk #Lego #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #don’t mind me draw him without his chest plate and shoulder pads to with full color

[saturntheocto]

Rgrgrgg Alomask deadplate au anybody?

(Tw for blood/disturbing imagery)

#saturn sketches #Grgrg the images wouldn't go in the right order on the third one #dead plate #coroika aloha #aloha coroika #Alomask #Aloha x Mask #coroika

[nevergoesout]

BY THE WAY. came second in the work bake off for my vegan jaffa cakes . if you even care

#first prize was a le creuset christmas tree plate #alia #but my FRIEND anna won that so not mad she so deserved it #and clair who also is the same role as us came third

[stars-inthe-sky]

UGH.

#went on my first real work trip in FOUR YEARS yesterday. had one meeting. #woke up this morning and was getting ready for a day of stuff with another one tomorrow #only to find out that one of the only five other people in the wednesday meeting just tested positive for covid #and another had found out she'd been separately exposed as well #so today turned into doing all my meetings on zoom and rearranging travel plans #and now instead of a professional thing i'd been really looking forward to and then a fun weekend add-on with the fam #i'm flying home late tonight to isolate in our third-floor guest room while boyfriend parents etc. #at least we got credit for his and bébé's last-minute flight cancellations #and we decided to leave the dog with the sitter that had already been arranged to just have one less thing on the collective plate for now #but UGH #and what's extra infuriating is that i am probably fine. i got boosted just a few weeks ago and wasn't like hugging anyone or whatever. #but you just don't know and when there's an actual case it's reason to be actually careful #and i'm just so exhausted and bummed about a lot of things already and had so been looking forward to this whole trip #best laid plans #as they say #anyway cross your fingers for me and the battery of rapid tests i'll be taking this weekend #and in addition to staying negative i'm also very concerned about whether anyone will be comfortable will me at thanksgiving #so that's a whole other thing #UGHHHHHHH #fucking #coronavirus

[echoingkarma]

Sun and Moon Mermaid Concepts from my stream ^^

Thanks so much to those who attended, you were all so kind and I had a really lovely and peaceful time ❤

Reblogs are appreciated!

#fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf #fnaf sb #mermay #fnaf sundrop #fnaf moondrop #my art #doodles #stream art #me at the end of the stream: yeah ill probably fix these up #me within 10 seconds of ending the stream: nah im just posting these as they are im tired #ill try and do some like. story based doodles with these guys but im not making a third au rn im sorry ;u; #i have some ideas but i have enough on my plate