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lttleghost · 1 year

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The Thematic Relevance of Jesse Pinkman as an Egg 🏳️‍⚧️

(I wrote this analysis awhile back and wanted to make a fresh post to update it!)

While not intentional, there is a lot in Breaking Bad that supports reading Jesse as an egg. This reading of Jesse has a lot of thematic and narrative relevance and also doesn't create any conflicts with the canon material. Jesse being someone who hasn’t realized he’s not actually a man yet could quite literally be canon.

This analysis is heavily based around parallels between Jesse’s character development and what Breaking Bad thematically associates with gender. It’s also heavily interconnected with the show's overarching theme of change, and also, at least for our two main characters of Walt and Jesse, the revealing of true self. There’s plenty of evidence that each of them already had the traits we see them with at the end of Breaking Bad. Jesse being this very kind and compassionate young adult and Walt being this egotistical monster.

But I would consider Walt's self-deception to be more shallow than Jesse’s self deception. While Walt did end up in a lifestyle that was opposed to who he truly was, he consciously knew what he wanted to some extent, whereas Jesse fully convinced himself that he was a different person than the one he truly is because he never really got the chance to actually figure out much about himself.

There are a lot of examples of Jesse’s disconnected sense of self throughout the show, but the first one that comes to mind has to do with his superhero OCs-

EDIT: YO! if you find video essays more engaging than reading a bunch of text, this analysis now also comes in video form [link]

I think that Jane’s observation that all of them looked like Jesse was, in fact, correct. I wouldn’t consider him doing this as a conscious decision but I feel that he almost admits it. After initially denying that his OCs looked like him and after Jane affectionately teases him he ends up saying to her “like you never wanted a superpower.” And while you could interpret this as just a response to her teasing, I’m convinced that there’s an additional layer to it. Especially because when Jane leaves to check the door, there's a moment where Jesse looks at the sketchbook with his drawings and it seems like he’s considering something, and I’d bet you anything that what he’s thinking about is whether or not he had actually drawn himself and this is REALLY interesting since-

Jesse is a criminal right? And while superheroes themselves are technically criminals as well, as vigilante justice isn’t actually legal, they’re still typically known to be ‘crime fighters’, and Jesse describes his characters as being such. So with his OCs subconsciously being depictions of himself and them being superheroes (crime fighters) and his current life as a criminal, you get the image of someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants deep down.

There’s no way that Jesse’s current delinquent lifestyle was his truly… preferred path. It’s much more likely it was the only thing he thought he could do successfully. It’s evidently been the one thing he’s made a decent living off of. He has no support from his parents, and doesn’t seem like he has had it since he was a highschooler. Jesse is shown to have no support outside of the drug trade. Most of his personal skills and interests are artistic or honestly domestic in a world that assigns more value to academics and he’s a highschool graduate who doesn’t have any job experience.

I also believe Jesse is very aggressively ADHD coded, and the combination of having virtually no support, struggling with addiction, and having undiagnosed and improperly self medicated ADHD would make slogging through any “respectable” job that he has access to, or any job that his parents might encourage him to do, unbearable.

So the drug trade was his best bet, Jesse even views cooking meth as a form of art, something that he’s passionate about.

I can’t in good faith ignore that doing something that is... generally frowned upon, didn’t factor into what Jesse chose to do on some level, as society and the structures that it’s built on failed him and there’s an inherent sense of rebellion that often forms in a person when they’re failed like that. Granted, superheroes also tend to often contain some commentary on societies failings as well. Jesse just couldn’t actually be a real-life superhero. So with the few benefits it had in practice compared to any other job, Jesse played into the rest of the role of a criminal, and convinced himself that the aspects of it that conflicted with his personality... didn’t, probably without even noticing.

Even more to this disconnect; When Jane asks “and that’s a superpower?” in response to Jesse explaining Backwardo’s powers Jesse responds with “come on, I was a kid when I drew these, it was like four years ago.” And Jesse is 24 years old in that scene, meaning that he would’ve been 20 when he drew these characters, and when I first wrote this analysis I was wondering whether or not Jesse had gotten involved with the drug trade other than buying drugs by that time, but there wasn’t really anything I could confirm any theories with.

But now I've got the Better Call Saul episode “Waterworks” where Jesse has his second cameo, where he is in fact, 20, and in that cameo Jesse accompanying Emilio, a person we know is his partner in cooking meth, to Saul’s office makes me certain he’s in it by that point. And I just have to wonder if Jesse’s superheroes were almost a… subconscious vent, a manifestation of how being a criminal in the specific way Jesse is, is not what he wants. Something that suggests that Jesse’s actual identity and his current view of his identity don’t line up.

Another thing to point out about the cameo that could be seen as additional evidence of Jesse’s discomfort with being more than just a customer of the drug trade is that he was hanging out outside of Saul’s office, and until Kim gave him one he didn't have a cigarette, so he wasn’t out there to smoke. And while there could be other explanations to why he was outside on his own, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say, other than just his general skepticism of Saul, he was just not particularly jazzed to be where he was at that moment and not comfortable going inside.

So relating all of this to gender; that narrative of convincing yourself that you are the person that you’re supposed to be for your best chance of survival instead of being able to truly be yourself already works pretty strongly as an allegory for being trans. But to add onto that even more, thematically Breaking Bad associates “manhood” with the drug trade in one way or another, and paralleling how Jesse realizes he doesn’t fit into the drug trade like he thought he did with how he might not be a cis man like he thought he was makes for a really solid queer reading.

The whole show is pretty explicitly about toxic masculinity. Obviously in real life masculinity and manhood do not have to be toxic, and in Breaking Bad’s original intended story Jesse is a cis man who ends up not fitting into those toxic ideas of manhood.

Things that the rest of the male cast don’t blink at or at least have more mild reactions to, just tear Jesse apart. He’s also targeted at least a couple of times for having emotional vulnerability that is considered to be “not manly”. It’s much easier to point out the differences between him and the male cast than it is to point out similarities between them and this just gets more pronounced the longer the show goes on. He doesn’t really have any positive ties to being a man and I don’t think we can say we ever see Jesse actually reclaim his own sense of manhood. And I think that lack of reclamation gives even more legitimacy to the reading that, along with leaving the drug trade and all of its toxic masculinity bullshit behind, maybe Jesse just leaves behind being a man altogether, and maybe it was something that wasn’t really ever a true part of him, just like his life as a criminal.

Even at the start of the series Jesse’s attempts at hyper-masculinity come off as really goofy and performative. In episode one Krazy-8 mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might’ve ratted on him Jesse first has a much more genuine response of “that’s bullshit” which makes sense with his strong character trait of being loyal, but then he goes to say “I should kick his punk ass for even thinking that.” and it just sounds like fake bravado to me. There’s no way Jesse actually thinks he stands a chance against Emilio since Jesse has a body type that resembles a small bird and there's no way he has that little self awareness. He's just playing out a script that wasnt even well thought through, and while some of his other performances of masculinity don’t come across as that fake, there aren’t many that feel like they actually come from Jesse himself, they just feel like something that he just thinks he should do.

And while not every experience with men Jesse has is negative, there always seems to be some distance between him and the men he does have good relationships with. Jesse forms a parent-child type relationship with Mike that is healthier than any other he’s had up to that point other than probably his aunt, but there’s a part of Jesse that Mike never seems to fully get. When Jesse doesn’t want Lydia to be killed Mike says that 'this woman deserves to die as much as any man' and I think he misses that Jesse just still isn’t that keen on killing people even with everything he’s gotten involved with. Even if there are some acts of violence and even some people’s deaths he is fine with and thinks are justified, Jesse never fully adapts to “the job” the way Mike does, and Mike is just not quite able to understand that, or at least not why.

Jesse and his friends have a distance between them as well. Though they’re arguably not as entrenched in toxic masculinity as any of the other prominent men in the show are, and aren’t nearly as involved in the violence of dealing drugs despite being in the trade. Yet still Jesse’s interactions with them most of the time feel different and more withdrawn than their interactions with each other. Like Jesse really wants their presence and company and wants to fit in but there ends up being something that he can’t connect with alongside them, and this also gets more prominent as the show progresses. There’s parts where Jesse seems to be withholding how badly his “high rank” in the drug trade is affecting him when Pete and Badger seem to sort of idolize him for it and want in on it. I think Jesse sort of considers saying something to them about it, but he hesitates and doesn’t. He repeatedly doesn’t confide in them even though, while his friends do perform some facets of hyper-masculinity, they don’t really seem to target or reject vulnerability in the way most of the other men in Breaking Bad do. And Jesse’s distance from even the more harmless side of the male cast makes it feel like it’s not just the toxic masculinity that he’s disconnected from.

Jesse’s relationships with women even further separate him from the men of the show. His romantic relationships with Jane and Andrea read much more as relationships between equals, compared to Walt and Skyler or Hank and Marie. While Jesse does throw the “nice job wearing the pants in the family” insult at Walt in episode two of the first season, after Skyler almost caught him moving Emilio’s body, in Jesse’s own relationships he never actually tries to take control and doesn’t have any problem with Jane honestly being the person making more active choices for the both of them in their relationship, which Walt comments on by throwing that same “nice job wearing the pants” insult back at Jesse.

Another interesting thing found within Jesse’s relationship with Jane that ties them to specific gender roles happens after Jane doesn’t really introduce him to her father. Jesse asks about it and after a bit this Jane ends up saying “What am I supposed to say? Hey dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door and by the way I’m sleeping with him?” and Jesse replies “Is that all you think you’re doing?”

It’s been pretty common for “the guy” to be considered as the one who sees a relationship as just being sex and “the girl” to see it as being romantic, and this is a very very dumb aspect of traditional western gender roles that this scene even has to subvert, but I think in the context of Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender roles the fact that Jesse is put in the role much more typically associated with women could be viewed as significant. And this significance can be extended to the show’s most prominent dynamic, dealing with the relationship between abusive men and women, Jesse is a victim. I’m not implying men can’t be victims of other men's abuse, but it does make Jesse easier to associate with women in the story, and while the narrative association comes from a negative place, the negativity is directed towards men. But the connection it forms between Jesse and women is a sense of camaraderie and even comfort, at least on Jesse’s side.

and with those connections with women I’d say the most accurate egg interpretation of Jesse is that she’s specifically transfeminine in some way.

I think in this analysis its important to specifically examine Jesse's journey with gender questioning as I think it follows the rest of the ups and downs in her learning more about herself in the resr of her character arc. My personal interpretation of Jesse is that she is a non medically transitioning nonbinary transfem person. The not medically transitioning bit is largely because I enjoy bringing attention to the existence of no-med no-op trans people and to push the point that not seeking medical transition doesnt make a person any less trans, though I do feel that since Jesse's relationship with gender is focused on the societal side of gender roles that don't really relate to physical form that it's a reasonable interpretation that she may not medically transition. I think she uses he/him and she/her pronouns, and is maybe a futch lesbian. I’m saying all of this because it'll be the lens through which I’ll be talking about Jesse’s journey with questioning his gender and how that progresses during the timeline of Breaking Bad. However I don’t claim this to be the only version of transfem Jesse that works with my analysis, or that it's necessarily better than any others that do work. I’ll also be mentioning concepts of “offscreen” additional scenes. That being said, if you’re someone who likes to stick 100% to the text given to us, the “offscreen” scenes aren’t exactly necessary for this interpretation to work as a part of the existing story as the general emotions behind them still stand.

I don’t picture Jesse as having any definable Gender (™) experiences when he was younger other than just a general sense of not belonging, though gender wouldn’t be the only thing playing into that. But as Jesse got older and struggled more, he started to purposefully play the part of what he saw as “a man” to survive in the only role that he thought he could. I see the thought “I wish I didn’t have to be a man” crossing his mind every so often though. I think he just deals with his place in the world for awhile, but after Walt enters the scene and Jesse experiences shit he really didn’t bargain for because of his old teacher, someone who is settling into a personification of toxic masculinity, Jesse’s frustration with being a man becomes more prominent and harder to ignore internally.

In my opinion Jane is the person that helped him start to solidify what exactly those thoughts were indicating. Her approach to relationships would be considered not traditionally cishet, and so is the way she presents herself in general, so I think Jane has some sort of knowledge about the complexities of gender, if she isn't actually queer herself in some way.

And she’s one of the only people we see Jesse truly, truly open up to and so I think at some point later in their relationship Jesse might actually say something about wishing she wasn’t a man around Jane, and I can see Jane saying that Jesse doesn't have to be a man if she doesn't want to be.

But then Jane dies, and I think as a result of that and the lesson Jesse learned from rehab “I’m the bad guy” he goes into just total repression mode. Embodying this new belief Jesse very much dips into the hyper-masculine behavior of the drug trade, he is much more concerned with money beyond paying bills and having nice things, and he plans to do the one thing in the entire show that makes me truly angry at him because of this whole thing, attempting to sell drugs to the rehab group. I don’t think he would’ve ever thought of doing something like that before. He’s trying very hard to be something that’s even further from his actual nature than we’ve seen up until this point.

Part of Jesse’s grief over losing Jane, a person who he confided in probably more than anyone else at that point, was to just completely close up, even to himself. Forget all of those parts of himself that resisted the rougher aspects of the drug trade he was getting dragged into and definitely forget about wondering if he really is a man or not.

At least until meeting Andrea and Brock, which snaps him out of that “I’m the bad guy” mindset, but by that time I think just, too much starts to happen for Jesse to have much time to question her gender. I wouldn’t consider her to be as actively repressing any sort of “I wish I wasn’t a man” thoughts but the amount of turmoil and danger that she’s in, just really really doesn’t lend itself to that sort of gender introspection as much.

I’ve got some additional thoughts on Jesse’s journey with gender that are more headcanons than actual analysis of the show so I didn’t include them in the text above. But I still really wanted to share because I like them and think that they really add to the analysis, so here they are;

I mentioned that I don’t think that Jesse had any particularly notable moments that might’ve suggested that she was trans when she was younger other than feeling out of place, but maybe he did have some interest in playing with “girls stuff” and her parents discouraged it because as we know they’re the shitty type of people who value their child being “normal” at the price of that child’s happiness, but I can also see her being one of those kids who just didn’t even grasp the differences between boys and girls stuff for a longer time than others, or I can even see Jesse’s last connection to the "male" side of gender being from when she was a little boy, before he was aware of the concept of what being a man was, and that it would be expected of her.

But later, in his adulthood, after the idea and pressures of "manhood" became very present in his life, one of the more certain instances of gender questioning I picture Jesse having is at some point while hanging out with Badger, Pete and Combo, Jesse screws around and puts on a dress. And he's like “haha I look like such a queer don’t I?” but is internally thinking something more along the lines of “ I will die before I tell anyone how this makes me feel” (that being that it makes him feel happy).

And then, as we enter into the timeline of the show itself; when Jane first tells Jesse that he doesn’t have to be a man if he doesn’t want to, I don’t actually think that Jesse would be receptive of it at first. I think it’s more likely that he’d decide he suddenly doesn’t want to have this discussion anymore and change the subject. Jesse would still have the misconception that you need to medically transition or at least be required to fit some sort of ‘criteria’ to be trans, instead of just identifying as a different gender than your assigned sex, and I think that would play some role in his not wanting to talk about possibly being trans. And even more because, while he could opt out of telling anyone that he’s trans, Jesse’s in a world in general that isn’t trans-friendly, but the drug trade he’s in specifically is very lgbtq-phobic. Jesse himself is definitely gonna have some internalized transphobia, we’ve seen his homophobia, and I definitely read that as a result of his environment rather than actual hatred considering at Jesse’s true core he’s a pretty caring person. But there are definitely people in the drug trade who would be violently homophobic and transphobic, and Jesse would know that, and would probably perceive even realizing that he is trans to be a threat to his safety. But, later on, further into her relationship with Jane I think she’d open up, even if only to Jane.

And that’s what I like to focus on the most with this analysis, all of the happiness and freedom and healing that Jesse gets to feel detaching himself from manhood, something that honestly contributed so much to every part of his suffering. And god does this girl deserve some happiness.

Then when for the most part too much is going on for Jesse to consider whether or not he’s trans, I still sometimes think of a situation where Jesse might’ve suggested? Her gender questioning to Mike, and while I don’t think Mike’s personal reaction would be technically negative, I think he’d tell Jesse to ‘please not share that with anyone else kid’. Which would be discouraging to Jesse, and she’d quickly backtrack, some because of the reaction on its own but also because he really already knows that it’d be stupid to say anything to anyone else, but it’s not until Jesse’s really free from the drug trade that she can finally crack that egg. I really like to think about the comfort and relief Jesse would get to feel no longer having to try and be a man, cause she finally realizes that she isn’t one.

#breaking bad #jesse pinkman #jesse breaking bad #trans jesse pinkman #queer analysis #breaking bad analysis #brba #jesse brba #this is my girlfriend don't touch him #meat.txt #this is a shortened and edited bit of my video essay script #i just like.... HAD to update my inital text analysis while im working on figuring out how to successfully record my video #cause the old one is so jumbled and stufff #or it feels jumbled to me now at least

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zal-cryptid · 2 months

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I've released a portion of the rough draft for Misfits in Toyland over on my Patreon if anyone is interested in giving it a read!

#scriptwriting #script #trans stuff #toyfolk #my work #misfits in toyland #paul #jennifer #maria

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azul1810 · 8 months

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Sunset flight

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suncaptor · 1 year

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Literally screw everyone in supernatural everyone except Kevin and *reigns it in* his mom.

#spn #incoherents #supernatural #The great escapist #Scripts #8x21 #Kevin tran #Kevin #S8

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thevoidscreamer · 10 months

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New ink ✨

#new ink #tattoo #trans Joy #transgender #new mexico #ftm #nonbinary #genderfuck #genderpunk #trans Joy is resistence #happy pride 🌈#knee tattoo #script #old English script

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lollytea · 7 months

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Tbh I think the Barbie movie handled its theme of existentialism better than the feminism.

#the feminism of the barbie movie is nothing new #its nothing you wouldnt have seen in a 2016 tumblr post #and in its efforts to platform the struggle of misogyny it unintentionally shrinks the issue of other forms of bigotry #like it IS about a cis conventionally attractive white woman and the prejudice that she applies to her #because shes a woman. so is not on the TOP of the privilege scale and is going to face bigotry as a result #like Greta Gerwig clearly wrote what she knew #and she didnt feel she was educated enough to touch any other topics #the mistreatment of women is a layered topic and it is a complex matter depending on the varied range of women in this world #queer women trans women women of colour #they dont all experience misogyny in the same way that Barbie does #so its definitely not a very rounded discussion #like even Gloria focuses entirely on the pressure of just women in general #like you can claim that shes speaking from her own experience but. its very mouthpiece-ish #her speech is for the purpose of whacking you over the head with the film's message #yknow i think the focus leans too heavily as ''look what we as girls have in common''#but doesnt touch enough on ''but look how we differ too.'' a balance between those two concepts would have been nice #i feel like Sasha being like ''hell yeah white saviour barbie!'' was like a lazy acknowledgement that theyre AWARE of this issue #but like. theyre too deep into the script now #anyway yeah i was just thinking about this cuz of that gifset #Barbie feeling unsafe and being objectified in a public space #while Ken faces no issues whatsoever. even tho he is a loudly colourful flamboyantly dressed man on rollerskates #because we are going for a misogyny message here. so we need to poof homophobia out of existence for a bit okay??#like this is basically what i mean. putting misogyny under the spotlight #and as a result quietly pretending other social disadvantages dont apply right now. bending reality to reinforce the message that we want #this isnt like. a scathing criticism on barbie btw. i dont have a film critic brain #im dumb and i love everything #also im really not the person whos qualified to talk about this #this is just some word vomit because i cant stop thinking about it #anyway i think the themes of what it means to be human and live and breathe fucked royally #i loved that stuff

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hellofeternity · 8 months

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ORV transcends language | how ORV is kind to readers (1.1k words)

the difficulties in analyzing text are already numerous without a language barrier, the way one word can mean 5 things and when you put it in a sentence suddenly it can mean 50 things and put that sentence in a paragraph? go further and put that paragraph in a page? construct a whole world around it, weave it into the fabric, and suddenly you are painting with words.

ORV is a daunting text, it calls and references so many mythos world wide, greek, roman, indian, chinese, japanese, it plays with meaning and intent and uses gaps in our knowledge like weapons, making us extrapolate our own meaning between the sentences, it is a tome of knowledge when it comes to histories and philosophies it feels at times like I will never understand all these things inside it.

One of the difficulties of reading a translated text is that when we analyze a text the authorial intent weighs very heavily in our minds, sure we can immerse ourselves in the world but once we start picking apart at the threads we hit a wall pretty soon when we start asking ourselves "what did the author mean by this?" however in a translated text there is an obvious gap, a game of telephone, did the translator actually capture the authors intent? or are we just reading the translators perception? sadly I don't know korean, and I cant say I have the drive to learn it, as such I know there will forever be a side of ORV that I will never be privy to - however I am bilingual and had the pleasure of reading two translated versions of ORV, an English translation and an Arabic translation, I didn't finish reading the said Arabic translation but a couple things stood out to me when I briefly did ORV is very kind to readers, following along in other stories can seem confusing at times, the pacing might be too fast and you might miss some details in a characters actions, the wording might be too vague and ah damn 20 pages later you realize you don't actually know why the characters are doing what they are doing. A big writing adage that you will see a lot is "show dont tell" and it holds merit, but ORV doesn't subscribe to it, because ORV shows AND tells. ORV built a world around readers and reading, and it makes sure that there is clarity every step of the way on what is happening, first by starting out as a homage to the isekai genre, and not deviating too much at the start, making the readers feel at home in a worldview they are familiar with, systems, leveling, videos games etc, and when it starts deviating it explains things with clarity that no matter how bad the translation is you understand the general intent, and secondly by being VERY blatant about the names of things and having a built in "story" system that is built on common story tropes and names the themes for you! take for example "unbroken faith" and "Blade of faith" both of these are two translated versions of dokja's sword. I will never know which one is closer to the original authorial intent, but I can tell you something, dokja's sword is symbolism to the faith he is wielding. (CH386 vague spoilers) or the entirety of "the great war of saints and demons" being about the concept of good and evil fighting and how kimcom aren't just above being good and evil, they are both. By using story tropes that we are familiar with to explain the complexity of situations in a simple forms you no longer have to worry about losing you readers understandings through language barriers. Every story in the world in every language knows what good vs evil is, every language has the words to explain them. and therein lies the beauty of ORV. But of course this isn't to say translations don't matter, it does speak to the strength of an original texts clarity when it accounts for the big things by making them simplified, but when we get down to the nitty gritty it starts to lose form take for example

"Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever get to meet you again?"

this person here has a great write up explaining the translators thoughts behind this specific line

but it has spawned a lot of debate in the English speaking fandom, as to the strength of its translation, I remember when I first saw someone claiming that its a mistranslation and "you fool" isn't part of the original, my first thought was "and so?" I do not mean to be dismissive to the original text, but I do not exist in a space where I can appreciate it in the original korean, I do not exist in a worldview where I can understand the historical implications of a lot of the characters, and even when I try to research it in English sadly the resources do not exist yet and its even more laughable to think of finding these things in Arabic. (Goryeos first sword doesn't have an English wikipedia page as a clear example) a lot of people have issues with the most popular English fantranslation of ORV - and I can understand why, being bilingual I have a lot of opinions on how a lot of things SHOULD be translated most of the time, and have done my own translation work but as I sit and think about this popular translation I cant help but just feel love for it, it might be lacking to some, it might be inaccurate at times to others, but its just enough for me to paint the gaps in the text with my perceptions, the words used are tied to my affections the Arabic translation of ORV is clunky, it is messy, it doesn't have as much grace as the English translation of ORV does, the words barely string together cohesively, but it has enough clarity, enough intent, and enough love for its readers, to catch their hearts, their attention and their energy

and so I want this to be the first post on this blog because, the author is dead here, not because I buried them, but because the tower of babel fell down a long time ago, and all we have is rubble and each other. a lot of the analysis on this blog will try to be respectful to the korean original wherever it can, however my words will be coming from an anglosphere perspective, and build on other English reader's perceptions of a text translation that a decent amount of people don't think is adequate, but just like ORV is kind to us, we can be kind back, I will quote the most popular version because its what connects us together, and while the authors intent might be lost, we can share our own meanings with each other, and build our own intent from the rubble.

#orv meta #orv #orv analysis #r1864 #a big wall of text for me to go lol orv is queer and yjh is trans coded #but this is tumblr so everyone knows that already #also I still don't actually know what naming convention is correct I've seen many discussions about this #I just go with what is most popular for ease of understanding and ease of reading #also i find the naming thing very funny in english and latin letters because there isnt nearly this much drama about it in the arabic scrip #I just assume its like any other language that doesnt use latin and we are just trying to break english to sound out letters they dont have #i do like how dokjas name sounds like its splitting in the middle in the correct pronunciation 'dok-ja' adds to his duality #and i am sad that gets lost in the latin script sounding

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the-soapbox · 21 days

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I don't think that a lot of US politicians care much about their constituents voting or not voting for them, because they seem to think they can just skate by on the big donations and propaganda paid for by those big donation sources to spread lies that make them look good. i have a feeling that maybe we should refocus on boycotts and protests of those big corporate donors. maybe then the politicians will actually listen, because it starts to affect their wallets.

#us politics #kosa #tiktok ban #free palestine #queer rights #lgbtq rights #trans rights #corporate donors #in those group letters and call scripts it's probably a good idea to mention that no matter what donor this politician gets #that donor sinks with them #maybe that should be the strategy #this is just one guy's opinion tho

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theasexual-jackson · 12 days

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Top 10 most underrated DRs:

GachaTuber DR

#seriously #GachaTuber DR #it's the best manner to make my childhood dream of becoming the best gacha animator ever come true #and make others people's childhoods too #I'm already scripting it and you should too /nf #shifting #shifting realities #reality shifting #reality shifter #shifter #anti shifters dni #shifting antis dni #shifters #shiftblr #trans shifter

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 7 months

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How do I ask my mom to get on testosterone? My mom’s pretty supportive and has asked me how she can help me feel more comfortable but I just don’t know what to say to her.

Lee says:

If you're a minor, you will need her permission to start testosterone which may take time, so think of your first conversation about starting T as just that-- the first conversation of many! It can take a number of conversations before she understands why you want T and how important it is for you, even if she's pretty supportive in general.

If you're not a minor, approach the conversation in a way that makes it clear that you've already made up your mind and are starting the process and are taking the time to inform her because she's important to you and you want her to know what's going on in your life but make sure she understands that you've already decided and you're not looking for feedback on whether or not you should do it.

In either situation, there are some basic steps to follow:

1. Choose the Right Time and Setting:

Find a quiet, comfortable place where you both can sit down without distractions. Choose a time when you both aren't rushed or stressed.

If you help clean up after dinner, for example, you could go on a walk together in the evening and then have a talk as you walk which can make it easier to discuss heavy topics because you don't have to be sitting face-to-face.

You could also talk on a weekend if you have an activity scheduled that'll get you out of the house after, like hanging out with friends, which can provide an excuse to have a hard stop to the discussion time if you need to leave at a certain point and seeing friends can help you de-stress too.

This might seem obvious, but don't do it on a holiday day! It might be a convenient time for you if you're normally away at school, but Thanksgiving Day or the first night of Hanukkah something is not the best time to discuss something like this.

2. Start with Appreciation:

Begin by expressing gratitude for her support so far. For example: "Mom, I really appreciate how understanding and supportive you've been about my identity. It means a lot to me."

3. Express Your Feelings:

Share your feelings and experiences. Let her know how you've been feeling and why you believe testosterone is the right step for you. For instance: "Lately, I've been feeling [describe your feelings], and after a lot of research and self-reflection, I believe that starting testosterone could help me feel more aligned with who I am."

If you've been struggling with dysphoria or mental illness, this is a good opportunity to bring that up and request a therapist, which can also be a step toward starting T as some providers will request a mental health letter before starting HRT.

4. Provide Information:

It's possible that your mom might not know much about testosterone and its effects. Offer to share resources, articles, and connect her with other parents whose children have started T (if you know of any-- if you don't, PFLAG is a good place to start). This can help her understand more about the process of starting T and it's also a good opportunity to demonstrate that you've done your research and are prepared and know what to expect yourself.

5. Address Concerns:

Be prepared for questions or concerns. It's natural for a parent to worry about their child's well-being and she may wonder what the long-term health ramifications could be. Address her concerns calmly and provide reassurance, and remind her that your care will be supervised by a medical professional who can answer additional questions at your intake/consult.

6. Ask for Support:

Be direct in asking for her support. You could say, "I understand this is a lot to take in, but I was hoping you could support me in starting testosterone. It's something I believe will greatly benefit my well-being." That way you've asked her to be on your team working with you.

7. Offer to Involve Her:

If she's open to it, suggest that she accompany you to a support group or medical consultation (if you're a minor). This can help her feel involved and provide her with a better understanding of the process.

You should be direct in explaining what you're looking for when you invite her to be involved. If you just need her consent, tell her that you've already researched it and found a good provider who is in-network with your insurance, and is accepting new pediatric patients for HRT, so you don't need her help scheduling the appointment but need her to accompany you.

If you don't know what the next step is, you can ask her to take the lead in the process and work together with your to find a provider.

8. Be Patient:

Even if she's supportive, she might need some time to process the information. Give her the space to think and come back to the conversation later if needed.

Again, this isn't the final conversation you'll have with her on the topic, so be ready to discuss it again whether or not she says no or yes or maybe.

9. Seek Professional Guidance:

Consider suggesting a joint session with a therapist or counselor who has experience with working with trans folks. They can provide both of you with guidance, support, and resources, and may help you if you need to get a letter for HRT.

10. Just do it!

It's hard to know how to say it, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go for it. Your mom's primary concern is likely your happiness and well-being, but that doesn't mean she will necessarily immediately support medical transitioning without any reservations or hesitation even if she supported other aspects of your transition, and knowing that and being prepared for it will help you be prepared to deal with that possibility if it happens.

You're opening yourself up for rejection and getting hurt emotionally if she doesn't respond the way you hope she will, so make sure you have a support system ready to help you out if you need it. Tell your friends about your plan and make sure someone will be available to process what happened after the conversation is over. Treat yourself and remember that you're super brave and doing what you need to do to be happy in your body.

If you're emotionally mature enough to deal with talking with your mom about something tough, and you show that you're responsible and would be able to handle taking a medication, and that you're consistent and persistent in your identity and request to be on HRT, she may realize that you're growing up and you're ready to have a vote when it comes to your own care.

Good luck!

Followers, any advice for anon?

#Lee says #parents #trans #transgender #hrt #testosterone #t #conversations #scripts #script

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