#the true romance in season three all along....
"Energy vampires have a life expectancy of exactly 100 years. On their 100th birthday... they expire." | WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
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The Next Step
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky's recent purchase has implications for your relationship.
Word Count: 1440
Warnings: 1400 words of fluff with a hint of implied adult sexual themes. There's a detail from TFATWS, though it's not a plot spoiler, I'm mentioning it for the purists out there who haven't seen the show.
A/N: This is my entry for The Hoeing to Hozier challenge hosted by the brilliant @the-iceni-bitch . Congrats Natalie, on your 1K followers and thank you for hosting this unique challenge! It introduced me to more of Hozier's music that I'd been sleeping on and made me push through a writing funk. Sorry it's late. I hope you enjoy this dose of Bucky softness! 💙
Prompt: There, all of you a verb in perfect view - Movement
You’re a dozen footsteps into Bucky’s apartment, standing in the living room when you notice it. “You bought a bed?”
The answer’s obvious, after all it’s staring right at you at the end of the hallway. Neatly made, white linens tucked just so, and a folded blue plaid blanket draped across. But this is Bucky Barnes and his having a bed is rife with symbolism. To say you're shocked is an understatement.
“Yeah.” He rubs his right hand along the back of his neck like he’s tamping down a sudden case of nervousness. “It’s about time I got one.”
His succinct answer acknowledges the importance of the new purchase yet leaves you questioning what he really means. Typical Bucky Barnes. The man’s an enigma in jeans and a henley as he stands like a god outlined in the afternoon sun. Truth be told, you wouldn’t mind it one bit if part of your life’s work included unraveling all there is to know about one James Buchanan Barnes.
And to think it all started with a collision of random events, like being seated next to each other and a dinner date who was running ridiculously late after taking the wrong train. You didn’t know then that the man from another time was right on time for you. That you’d stumble, trip and fall into a slow burn spanning three seasons of friendship and trust to end up where you are now: contemplating the meaning of the bed on the edge of your peripheral vision.
Is this another step in his acclimation to civilian life, a willingness to embrace the softness and comfort he deserves? Happiness flutters in your chest and you reach for his hand.
“You deserve good things, Buck. You really do.” He deserves the world but you resist telling him that, knowing it would be too much right now.
His lashes fall and he shifts his head to avoid eye contact. He’s still a little shy when it comes to praise and compliments. It’s why Bucky Barnes has never beaten you in a staring contest, much to Sam Wilson’s bewilderment. One adoring look from you and those blue eyes of his blink every time. But there’s a hint of a smile as he absorbs your words instead of automatically dismissing them like he used to. Healing and recovery have come in subtle, gradual shifts in thought and behavior.
It’s about time I got one.
Or was he hinting at finally being ready for a more intimate relationship? Maybe a combination of both?
Happiness morphs into hopefulness and a faster heart rate. You’re imagining both of you in his brand new bed—how could you not, when he kisses you senseless at the end of every date, when he’s starred in your daydreams long before he so sweetly asked you to go steady? Now you’re the one brushing a hand behind your neck, trying to soothe an overactive imagination that went from Disney sweet to something very, very x-rated. Sensing the need for levity you add, “But lemme guess, you bought the firmest one you could find, right?”
“I was going to,” he laughs then adds with a more serious tone, “but then I thought of you…”
Suddenly the bed sitting beyond the doorway has taken on a bold, intimate meaning. You and Bucky are headed to a new phase. It’s in the atmosphere, a promise blooming into reality. He turns to the record player in one fluid movement. The apartment is wrapped in the nostalgia and romance of 40s jazz. Mid-tempo piano leads a vibrant horn section.
“Come here.” He stretches his right arm towards you, inviting you closer. “Dance with me.”
Bucky holds you close, light and confident on his feet as he leads you around his living room. It’s incredible how a body can move with such delicate elegance yet be capable of brute force.
“I love dancing with you, Buck,” you whisper as you bask in his warmth. I love seeing you happy like this. I love being this close to you. I love you.
He tips his head to look down at you and his pretty mouth forms a smile. “We make a good team, don’t we?” he says before he twirls you around with well-honed power and grace.
He’s pure magic in motion when he dances. It’s a joy to witness him like this, a joy that weaves its way into your soul. This is who he was supposed to be before he was stolen from a riverbank in the Alps: light, outward reaching, smiling, open. This is who he is when his guarded reticence falls away completely.
“So you think about me?”
“I sure do, sweetheart.” His voice is sinfully sweet and the day-old stubble covering his chin brushes your ear. The vibranium hand at the small of your back presses you closer like he knows you both crave more contact. “All the time. And when I’m lucky...I dream about you too.”
Oh, can this man flirt.
You can’t help but stumble, trip and fall a little more in love. How could you not when the deck was already so deliciously stacked against you? He’s old world charisma, advanced science, and a complicated history in flesh and metal. A leading man who’d been forced into a role so viciously opposite his true nature and made to live on the dark fringes of humanity. But he’s scripted his redemption on his own terms.
“What do you dream about?”
He studies you for a moment while you sway together. Blue eyes shimmer with secrets you pray he’ll share and then his gaze shifts to your mouth. “I’d rather show you.”
“You’re such a tease, Barnes.”
“Never heard you complain before...quite the opposite.”
You bury your head in the crook of his neck in bashful defeat. He smells like sunshine, worn leather and fresh laundry detergent.
“Aww, don’t be shy, darlin’,” he coos while his thumb brushes over your knuckles in soothing sweeps. Another song begins but Bucky stands still. He tips your chin up and kisses your cheek. His mouth catches your lower lip. A slow, deliberate flick of his tongue follows. Just enough to make you want more. He does it again, his tongue teases your upper lip this time. You watch each other through half-closed eyes like you’re both waiting on the other one to make the next move. The gap between you closes with a kiss that leaves you both breathless.
But you’ve been here before, with the sweet sting of kisses on your lips and wanting more, only to have him stop though you sensed he didn’t really want to.
Part of the hesitation belonged to the old soul who relished the rituals of courtship like first dates and holding hands and seeing your face light up because he remembered your favorite flower. A bigger part though, belonged to the soldier who’d existed solely for the next assignment, overburdened with guilt and devoid of human connection, affection and pleasure.
The past three seasons are tiny droplets of time in comparison to the decades that came before you. Yet they’ve added an infinite sweetness to his days. And along the way Bucky rediscovered the pleasure, the honest to god’s pleasure, of living. For the first time in almost a century he had something of his own to look forward to: the promise of a new love. So Bucky finally bought a bed. For himself...because of you.
His fingers trail along the neckline of your pretty dress before pausing at the top button. With a deftness that surprises him—1943 was a long time ago, after all—he releases one, two then three buttons, revealing more of you. He licks his bottom lip at the sight of your bra, at the sight of his girl, so soft, pretty and waiting for him. He nuzzles the spot below your ear and hovers over your racing pulse point with a satisfied smile.
“Buck,” you whisper as your fingers rake through his hair, asking for more. There’s a note of pure wonder in your voice when you call out his name. Bucky’s certain it’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard until now.
He lifts his head and cups your face in his hands. You repeat his name and Bucky almost melts at the way you’re looking up at him.
“Tell me what you like, sweetheart.” Your eyes widen for a second and Bucky’s convinced you’d duck away if his hands weren’t framing your face. “And, don’t be shy,” he says and slowly backs you down the hallway. “I promise I’ll give you everything you want, if you let me.”
*Thanks for reading! Your comments and reblogs are absolutely welcome. No reposting on other platforms, please.
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always ask, never wish (M) | felix
You had noticed it: the change in energy, his lingering eyes, sharp tongue and deep voice. Felix, your happy-go-lucky college roommate who never failed to shine a smile at anyone, was never like that before. The summer had changed him, Felix was no longer with you. And now you have to survive an entire semester with whatever he has become.
pairing: void! felix x gender-neutral! reader
genre: nogitsune! au, college! au, psychological thriller, romance, supernatural, horror, angst, smut, slight slow burn
word count: 5k
[warnings]: mature content & suggestive content, possession, nightmares, mentions of insomnia, insects (fireflies), physical altercations, blood + injuries, drowning, virginity loss, & dimension shifting
do not interact with this if under 18.
this fic is based off the tv series ‘Teen Wolf’ (season 3)!!!
part of my strange devotion halloween skz collab!!!
[taglist]: @sleepylixie @dom--minnie @aliceu @lixesque @jaerisdiction @fairygirl18 @doie-sun
It was trial and tribulation. Shadows held the scariest things: beings, creatures, whatever considered most frightening. The temptation of the darkness had surpassed him so many times.
But it was the blood-curdling voice echoing from those very shadows, the name whispered that had him halting in place, and the deal to be dealt that led him to decide his own fate.
The summer had swallowed him, melting heat bringing sweat to his skin. Hair matted down to his scalp, eyes shifting along the patterns made by the moonlight above, he had no moves to play here.
"What do I have to do?" The question didn't bring chills to his quickly cooling skin, but the answer did.
"Lend me a hand." Claiming voice, chattering teeth, and a now stone cold room to accommodate the situation. "Lend me a limb. Lend me your brain."
His breath caught in his throat, a sorrowed look in his eyes.
"Lend me your shadow."
The familiar sound of door hinges squeaking brought your eyes to clench shut. "Glad some things didn't change." Your whispered voice laughed, eyes engulfing the comfortingly small kitchen as you entered into the dorm.
Nearly four months of freedom diminished, the school year lapped back into your daily schedule. Studying for exams was horrid, and the college curriculum was overbearing. Majors and minors caging you inside to learn everything you can only to forget it all the moment the test was at your fingers. Late nights reading through outdated books, taking notes with ink pens that either ran out or bled across the page every other time you wrote with them, snacking on foods and humming to the tune of the faint music playing from your small speaker until a gentle laugh pulled your attention away from it all. Oh, did you miss Felix's laugh.
Your roommate had easily turned into the best part of your college years. Felix, the guy with a big, dumb, and stupidly large smile on his face over any little thing, had been by your side for three years now. With the final year before you, you had only one, true hope. Never to lose someone like him.
But the comfort of the shared dorm eased away with each step. Single bag over your shoulder, the important part of your entrance was missing from the living room. Even the dent left from where he always sat on the sofa was cold, your hand leaving the fabric as you walked by it.
You wanted to shake it off, pretend the air wasn't thick. The blank walls freshly repainted made the dorm feel smaller as you walked down the hallway, closing in on you so tight that the sight of his back facing you was startling.
"Felix!" He stood still, back hunched over one of your tall cardboard boxes brought up by staff earlier that morning. He didn't falter at your voice. He didn't even turn around.
"I was wondering when you'd come in. I thought we agreed to return by this morning so we could order lunch and eat while we unpack?"
His eyes met your form in the mirror of your vanity, the simple piece of furniture giving him full sight of where you stood in the doorway. To you, you stared at him. But to him, he seemed to only stare at his reflection.
The corner of his mouth twinged at your silence, his index and middle fingers holding a single polaroid picture between them. "Freshman year at the fair. I remember this." He smiled with his words, eyes growing soft at the younger version of you. "You were so cold that night so I gave you my jacket. And you never gave it back."
His eyes only shifted back to the mirror for a second, your awkwardly standing body moving in on him at a slow pace. Laughter bubbled in your chest the moment you looked at the picture close up. The air around your best friend was almost as chilly now as it was that night.
"I wanted a relic for that night. It was one of those moments where you realize-- in time, you won't get to live through something like that again."
"So, you resorted to stealing." The grin on his face was as wholesome as it was stirring, the rapid beat of your heart heard easily in your ears. "Hmph—"
"My excuse is solid." You chuckled.
Back falling down flat onto your unmade bed, the mattress was just as soft as you remembered. Felix's irises were softer as they floated over you, blinking slowly. Now tilted over your form, the man wore a glistening shine on his face similar to when you're sick and attempting to break a fever.
You had seen the look before. The never-ending puppy eyes he gave you on the daily, only they grew colder the longer he stared at you. Almost uncomfortable at the stern glare, your body twisted and sight fell down to his clavicle.
"Did you get hurt?"
Even he had ignored the strange purple and red marks flaring beneath his skin until now. Felix's fingers rose to the blemish, the vein-shaped lines making his eyes blink to a close.
"Ahh, this." He mumbled, sighing. "I think I got a rash or something from walking through the woods back home. Some old friends and I caught up and went searching for our hangout. All we found was wooden planks and darkness hidden in the moonlight."
"Sounds like the outdoors nearly a decade later." You shook your head, memories of your own childhood floating back but dismissing at Felix's silence. His stare was almost overbearing, eyelids appearing heavy with dark circles surrounding the bottom of them. He looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep.
"Still getting nightmares?"
You knew him as well as anyone could over the duration of three years, but the long nights of comforting him only rolled back into your mind now. The beady sweat gliding down his skin, his fingers prying at his covers as he screamed out disoriented claims. Waking him from the absent sleep was the hard part, but watching him become conscious from within the terror of what he saw was somehow worse.
"They weren't as bad when you slept beside me." Head hanging, your fingers ran through his soft, blonde hair. The affection was normally enough to make him shiver, yet he only sat still.
"I'm right here again, Felix. You have me for an entire semester, and then wherever the world takes us when we graduate. I'm not going anywhere."
"What if aliens reigned down upon us and tried to only take you from our Earth?" This was the Felix you knew; the one who made strange jokes that hit your funny bone harder than anyone else could.
"They'd have to pry you from my cold, dead hands." You laughed.
His laughter was deep, eyes darkening as his head sunk back down and lips went flat. "That could be arranged."
It was impossible to pretend that Felix wasn't different.
His body thrashed within the nightmare, limbs moving in different directions as if he could stop the impact, keep away from whatever was trying to get to him. Cries and whimpers fell from his mouth, Felix fighting his own mind like he never had control of it in the first place. The shortest breaths surrounded his shallow words, a faint whisper moving through the air. “Please, make it stop. I wish that it would just stop.”
It had gone on for months, your reassuring voice always pulling him from the depths of his nightmares right at the time you pulled him into your arms. Routine, more like it.
He consumed your every thought and worry. Watching purple shadows form under his eyes took something from you, but witnessing him losing himself destroyed you both.
You never complained, but you feared for him. Each night you'd lose him to sleep, feel his skin run hotter than the sun until he broke with a sweat, feel his limbs hit against you as he fought nothing in reality: all for as long as it took the sky to turn black to purple, then blue.
There was even a time where his nightmares abated his grip on reality. Such as with severe insomnia, the two meshed. His nightmares were twisted tales of daily life according to what he would recall when he woke and tried to remember. Sometimes he'd have to ask if he was awake—if you could see him—multiple times before he would leave the bed.
Insanity, a lesser-known term for the situation. He had long hit a bend in his normality, turning himself on and off. He couldn't fall asleep, and he couldn't stay asleep. When he did the nightmares flooded in continuously until he was awake again. It was like an inception.
But that night, the one filled with too many soft touches, gentle kisses, deep groans and hallowed moans only to end in a sweet, double release, it lifted it from him. The nightmares vanished, he slept soundly, and you stayed too close.
"What's on your mind?" The honking traffic out on the road was nothing like his voice that could slice through any thought in your brain keeping you from him. He knew you too well to ignore when you zoned out. But as your eyes matched his face, the smile he always wore was merely faded all the way away.
"Thinking of old times and wishes." You smiled, the warm drink in your hands keeping you from shivering all over again as your eyes met. Still Felix, he just seemed distant.
"They aren't true." He asked, a painted smile reforming on his mouth. "It's easier these days to act it out in reality than to wish and hope. Less time consuming."
Laziness, he stayed glued to an easier way until truly challenged.
The dim walk back to the dorm was just as it had always been in September. Cloudy sky, bright moon, chilly air, warm drink, and Felix at your side. He usually tripped over his own shoe laces, regretting not re-tying them before leaving the campus' coffee shop. Right under the same lamp, like clockwork. No matter when, how often, or how scarce. But he didn't trip; in fact, his laces were tied and tucked into the lip of his shoes.
"If you keep looking down—" Hoarse and crooked, his voice breaking while catching you staring at the apparel below. "—you'll trip."
"Right." He is here, but not himself. How can one person change so much over the summer?
But the one charming piece that never changed in yearly-life was the last of the fireflies still around in the night air. Hovering around trees or in bushes, only slightly swaying towards those who walked by them or attempted to catch them. Their lights were so bright, yellow-green glowing like headlights as they gathered closer and closer.
"That's odd." Your whisper went unheard, the insects flying around Felix as if he were a beacon.
It was only in their light that you took in your best friend for what he was. An opposing expression as he glanced around, finding each and every one in a confused way. They glistened enough to show you the growing darkness in his veins, how his arteries seemed to thump with his heart beat, the whites of his eyes being paired with a white filter over his pupils, and the creepy smirk growing on his lips.
"See something?" His voice was so innocent. Like running your hands through flower petals, Felix's cherishable voice sounded normal for a split second. "Because you're looking real hard." But there it was again, the grained chord in his voice that wasn't there before.
The whites of his eyes were yellowed, a theme of sickness clearly wreaking havoc on his form. His skin still held the paleness of a fever, warm to the couch but dichotomized with many bumps from visual chills. Felix only got sick once a year from allergies, this appearance made no sense before the well-lit bugs illuminated him.
Tender flesh and body tainted with something more sinister than the naked eye could see. The fireflies only showed you what your gut already knew.
"I'm looking for you."
"Well." His teeth didn't chatter with the wind, but his eyes grew larger. "Here I am."
It was the bear trap around your ankle that caught his breath. Cold air seeped in through the small building, wooden planks fallen and decayed from the elapsed time causing anything to make its way in.
But Felix stood disoriented, just as he always did in his dreams. "They're only forms of my imagination." He'd speak to calm himself, but sometimes his breathing would only speed up to that of a panic attack.
Everything in its place, the blood seeping from your skin as if reality was right before him. The scent of metal in the air from your blood-loss, the short whimpers from between your lips, and your eyes falling on his stone-cold form.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
The question in his direction daunted him. Never once, not even for a moment during the three years, had any of his nightmares starred you. Dark tales and twists, things seen and heard that would give anyone the heebie jeebies. Even his imagination knew to keep you from such danger.
Yet, here you are—in the flesh.
So much had been removed from his mind by it, including the promise you made to visit him at his hometown that first summer during your yearly travels. It had his tongue, let it lap the words, and pulled you right into him. But why did it wait?
"Let go." A command came from Felix, the one thought to be in control. His limbs only ran cold at the laughing hum in his ears. "Let. Go."
"At what price?" The voice was sinister, one you'd hear as a voice-over in a horror movie. Aura dark in the looming place, the sound was the creepiest of all. "You only see what you want to see."
"Why would I wish to see this?" Felix asked in a stern voice, but the faded marks around your form only made him grow hush.
"Your mind is sick, Felix. Tainted and twisted, all on your own." Its cackle was like a gunshot, Felix's frame held still on a chair not far from the figure itself. Old, face concealed by gauze that had long been stained by time. Even its walk was other-worldly, a wobble from side to side as if it was injured. "You must let it be released, or it will eat you alive."
"Everything you're saying is a lie."
"Oh, but I don't bargain such tactics freely. Those that walk amongst you have seen you change. And they're worried—worried about you, Felix."
His hands tried to swing upwards to his head, cover his ears with his palms and keep the rogue creature from his senses. But his wrists were bound down to the leather seat, the chair becoming a cage. He had only been seeing what it wanted him to see.
"Why are you doing this?" He growled, teeth clamped like a rabid dog at the sight of you wounded and in need of help.
"Always ask, never wish." The creature hummed like a metaphor only it understood.
Felix's limbs jolted, the steel binds now unlocked from the seat. He felt his limbs bring him to stand, but felt the thump of his heart warning him of what was to come.
"There are so few things that require companionship. But you humans are the exact example of weakness." It lifted foot from foot, waltzing slowly towards Felix. "Lovers, friends, family: you'd die without them. Those you care most about—the one you see now—what could you do without the existence of someone so important?"
"You can't do any real harm." Almost on impact, your cry met the sound of his ears. Top teeth sinking into his bottom lip to keep him from screaming at the sight alone, Felix's weak legs shook until his form hit the uneven flooring.
"Stop! Why!—" His cries were most painful, but the pain had yet to begin. "—Why are you doing this?"
"Same question, different context. If you have to ask, your gut already knows the answer. Why don't you try—" If it had any real teeth to show, Felix would see its wicked smile. "—saving a life?"
"What do you want from me?!"
The ceramic bath only came into frame for him now, his peripheral hiding such a standoffish piece in the heavy room. Water flooded in, ice topping it off, and it was now cold to the touch.
"If you get in, allow your body to fall into a silent slumber—you can wish to find the one you love in time before death comes knocking."
Felix shivered at the sight of the bath. Tears brimmed his eyes as his flat hand sunk in for an idea of what he'd feel as he got all the way in, but the pleading sound of your cries were too much to bear. Wherever you were, wherever it put you—he had to find you.
His body sank in slowly, every limb running numb from the paralyzing temperature. He wanted to scream, but his body could make no sound. Each nerve in his warm body ran still, the blood in his veins moving at the slowest pace possible to preserve his life. Like he was contributing himself to science, becoming a test subject—the life drained from him until little remained.
Pale form floating in the bathtub in the middle of the place he once considered happy, where he shared kind times with acquaintances, where he wanted to share time with you—he only laid still.
"Always ask." It repeated in his ears only. Black filled his veins, laughter filled his mind. He let it in to save you, but you were never really there. "Never wish."
It all made sense. His weird, continuous vibe of being himself and not at the same time. Felix was too bright to be so dim like this, how did you not notice right off the bat?
Weeks were passing like days, the leaves of fall changing from bright colors to the browns of deadened plants. The grass had withered into itself more and more every time you stepped out of the dorm, a tactic to keep a distance from Felix.
In normality, the man would have found his way around your odd tangent. He wouldn't keep his eyes locked in on you as you walked past him, he'd chase you down and wrap you in a hug while asking about your day. He wouldn't bring home dinner for one, but two. And he most certainly wouldn't be sleeping so peacefully.
Back straight on his mattress as you peered into his room, he looked like a corpse lying within a coffin. His skin was a milky-white, thin enough that you could see the dark veins controlling him. His eye lids were shut, relaxed and not the tightness of Felix fighting himself to rest as usual.
"I've been wondering when you'd check up on me." His groggy voice was even deeper than the bass-y tone it normally was. A single eyelid rose, his black iris found you where you stood, and a shiver went directly down your spine.
"I-I thought you were sleeping." You choked out the words like you had something caught in your throat, fingers latching around the edge of the door-frame for your own comfort.
"How could I sleep on a night like this?"
His question daunted you, face attempting to conceal what he meant but ultimately shining an unhinged smirk in the process.
A pitch black November night, the sky filled with nimbus clouds that threatened snow at any second. Peering out his window from where you stood, it was too easy to recognize the almost identical scene.
"You know what I mean?" His sentence ended in a high-pitched tone, your face distorted with the memory you had completely pushed out due to Felix's current state. "It's not every night that two virgins lose themselves to one another."
It was taken from a love novel, the laced fingers while your hands held tightly together and your bodies rocked against one another in unison. You had known Felix was special, a ‘first real love’ situation. But that night solidified something far greater than you imagined it could.
It was the first memory he spoke of off the top of his head, not from the sight of evidence such as the polaroid picture of the day at the fair.
You wanted the uneven breathing of his heavy panting in your ears to be forever recorded in your brain. The way he shivered each time your fingertips ran across his skin or your hand clamped on his shoulder for support as you both rushed to your own climax. Too easy, the sweet release of those in love without stating it.
"You gave yourself to me." Felix claimed sitting up from his lying position.
Palms digging into the mattress as his arms propped him up, it was the obvious gleam in his eye. The way his tongue swirled through his plump lips before rushing over the dryness of them, leering you to finally make a decision.
"I gave myself to Felix."
He only scoffed, head turning to the side to stare at the blank wall parallel to his skinny bed.
You knew, he knew, it knew.
"Who was running from me." His eyes only turned colder, the figure showing itself within your best friend like a distorted reflection in the mirror.
Felix's dyed blonde roots had become overgrown, now exchanged for his natural black hair. Small patches of the yellow color still dried and brittle at the middle of the length, it was a direct visual to how whatever was inside of him was taking over.
"Tell you what?" His soft-toned voice like Felix's was so condescending that your fingers curled into your palm and created fists at your sides.
"Pure then tainted. He was a lost cause the second your lips landed on his."
In every horror story, the virgins losing themselves is what gets them killed. It was figurative until it was reality.
"You gave yourself to him, me." It smiled outside of him, but you could still see Felix's eyes watering with tears from within. "So easily."
"Why are you doing this?"
"You took his place once. Would you do it again?"
"What do you mean?"
For a split second, everything had changed. Felix had a door opened by you that night, one that allowed in any and all that needed a place to stay. You gave yourself to him, but he gave himself to the world. And that caused someone to come knocking.
His nightmares only stopped after that. Originally haunting and tolling every second of each day, it was really you who had corrupted him until he was lost.
The pain of seeing him go through that, and now living inside of it. It was so much to bear.
"Is there anything I can do?" Your chest swelled from the words spilling past your lips. No matter how much you loved Felix, you feared this creature’s power much more.
"What is the cost of a loved-one?" It asked, voice narrowed and eyes on your form like it could see right through you. "Love is an abstract way of coping with your human life. It leads you down many paths, brings you to meet many different kinds of people. But where does it end?"
"How often do you forget things?"
"More often than I believe I do."
"So, how easy would it be for Felix to forget you?"
The question had never come up. Not for the three long years you had been his roommate, not for the two unveiling years you realized you were falling in love with him, and definitely not now when he was no longer before you.
The answer was easier than it should be.
"Would you wish to save him, even if you had to take his place?"
The two words were so simply executed, like a reflex. Felix had become someone you couldn't be without, but this torture—this never-ending torture—was far higher on the priority scale.
"He's my soulmate." You admitted, watching the creature twist and turn with little comfort. Almost appalled by your response. "What do I have to do?"
"Let me in."
In all things evil and tainted, you were upon one of the worst. It didn't take a bright mind to see the trickster and its ways. But it did to see the true exchange being made, and you were blind-sided.
"You already are."
All things are trivial. If human-like senses are the extent of survival, then when do other things become involved such as pain, heartbreak, emotions, starvation, and the gut feeling where your stomach twists?
The pain set in, your world shifting in an instant. Light sounds of a post rainstorm patting against the wooden planks through the open ceiling. Bright, blue moon right above to light your surroundings. And the clamped bear trap on your ankle.
A screech never subsides or explains just how terrible the pain is. Tears breaking from your eyes, mouth agape from the shreeks you released, and the demented creature's final stage running steady.
The metal was sharper than anything possible as your fingers tugged at the clamped trap. Squeals of its hinges, but no movement. A chain mounted to the ground brought a lack of motions you could make to reach for anything to help break yourself loose.
Replacement, it had brought you to where it all began.
This was the first summer shared with Felix outside of school, his hometown welcoming. The large tree in the middle of the same forest had thousands of fireflies to light up the sky as you walked hand-in-hand towards the run-down building he used to spend time in as a kid. Everything was meant to be, fated and scheduled.
Your hands clasped around your bleeding ankle, the skin broken and releasing blood faster than you could reach for the bottom. A thin tray beneath the clamp, the trap had to have a latch to release it. Your fingers fiddled, hope still on your mind, and found the small release. Weight lifted off, body stumbling to stand, your eyes locked on something you felt you hadn't seen in a lifetime.
Porcelain bath broken and leaking the ice water from a small crack, Felix's body floated with a state of rest you had never seen on the man.
No black veins, no black roots, and no wicked smile. You had found him as he was before, your body limping to the bath and pulling him above the water.
You hissed at the cold temperature of the bath water, using all the strength you had left to tug him over the side and down onto the deadened grass beneath the old, wooden floorboards of what once was a run-down cabin.
Thumb and index finger pinching his nose, deep breaths into his mouth filling his lungs, and pressure applied to his chest to restart his same heart that fought so diligently to survive and be with you again.
"F-Felix!" The warmest feeling wasn't finding him, it was the hot tears streaming down his cheeks onto your hand as he awoke from his never-ending sleep. "Felix." A relieved sigh broke from your chest and through your nose.
His words were shaken, mumbled and quick. But they were his, for once they were his. "I f-found you."
You were never far from Felix. And he was never far from you.
"You're okay—" First a whisper, then a reassuring statement. "You're okay."
Felix's long, blonde hair dripped the remaining cold water onto the skin of your shoulder, summer air floating into the open space like a deep breath. His eyes found yours, bright and alive like always.
"All I did—" Hefty breaths between syllables, no physical affection or words could comfort him from what he had been through. "—was wish for it all to stop. That was all. How did this happen?"
"It was in your shadow for a long time, Felix." Crying together with him was more relieving than all the time spent at his side. "It had you longer than I even knew it did. I won't let it come back."
Your voice rang in his ears, eyes blinking for only a moment. In a world less tangible, less understood, the crossing paths of what's alive and what's taken was fading.
The coldness crept up your back like a cold hand, an itch-you-can't-scratch feeling filling your veins. It was waiting for you.
"Do me a favor?"
Replacement. In your world, you were inside that deteriorated cabin holding up Felix with the last of your strength while staring into his eyes.
In his, he was only sitting in his pitch black room. Alone, the memory of you fading until even your voice was unknown to him.
The fresh feeling of meeting him that first day, someone who stands out in a crowd and shines on his own. He was a beacon before you even knew they existed. With all evil removed from him, he was just your best friend again. The same friend who took you to the fair. The first man you ever made love to. The first person you claimed fate brought you to. Felix was himself again, but he'd never remember you existed.
The voice leaving your vocal chords was now darker—it was no longer yours. Felix's eyes opened from the deep tone alone, the last flash of your face in his memory leaving him.
"Never make another wish."
© copyright bearseungmin 2021, all rights are reserved. do not modify, repost, or translate without my permission. please.
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You are the only person on my dash who is earnestly, truly enjoying the implications of a canon Destiel in its like...purest and best possible form. The way it COULD be. And honestly. Mad respect. I'm so happy for you.
It’s because I was actually watching the show (again, after many years)!!!! I am invested in these characters and this relationship and I totally get how seeing this happen out of nowhere with a three minute clip with - let’s be real - bad editing, cinematography and production values - makes people absolutely crazy with laughter. I get how people didn’t think about this show and then saw this out of nowhere and it seems like the dumbest most random thing ever. I get why it’s awful to think Cas has been killed off straight after confessing his love, I get all of the memes and find the ones that aren’t outright derisive very funny.
But the thing is that for people watching this show who have been invested for years and aren’t ashamed of liking Supernatural because it’s ‘cringe’ (an arbitrary decision! I promise if you rewatch the show you’ll be swept along by your old emotions!) - this was a lot. It meant a lot. It would have taken a HELL of a lot to get even this much pushed through on notoriously conservative-leaning show Supernatural. And we still don’t know where the final pieces will fall because there are two episodes left, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH is dead in the next episode except for Sam, Dean and Jack. So thinking that Castiel’s death is narratively permanent is not necessarily true, particularly because there is a character we know is coming back who is also currently in the Empty and we think the Empty will be defeated before the end of the show. People don’t have these context cues for the plot, or production, or the emotional context of what it meant after YEARS AND YEARS and a damn long COVID hiatus - to see this go canon against absolutely every expectation.
And the other thing, I see most of the shots taken at Dean/Jensen’s reaction - we don’t know IF he reciprocates, because the whole arc of the series and the episode is about Dean being angry, Dean having nothing left (he believes) but anger, and the WHOLE POINT of this was to start to change how he perceives himself and find love instead of anger. Cas telling him he’s a lover, not a fighter, to wit. Having Dean react literally any other way to Cas suddenly confessing than how he did would be out of character because he IS repressed as hell, and doesn’t do well talking through something like this when he has seconds to process it. (And there have been hints Dean does feel romantically for Cas and is bi over the years. Let’s not forget among other things, Dean gave Cas a mixtape of the same songs that was key to his parents’ romance.)
And yeah, maybe there’s no bisexual Dean revelations, and there’s no more Castiel. Maybe they could brush this off and Dean could never mention it and Cas could go full Bury Your Gays. I am fully aware of that possibility, trust me - we all know that Misha has been notably absent from 19/20 filming pics. But considering Robert Berens, a gay man, wrote this ep, and is fully aware of the trope... Considering they went THIS FAR to make a main character confess their love to another character at the end of the series... I’m not sure. Frankly I think both Dean and Cas will be dead by the end of the show and together in some form of an afterlife, but we’ll see. I mean, they hid this absolute bombshell from us... maybe they hid more surprises too.
Even if SPN goes the way everyone on the internet seems to think it goes though, I’m so happy that they made Cas canonically queer, in love with Dean, and retroactively wrote a love story into Supernatural. It means a lot, and no amount of people laughing at the memes about this can take away what it means to know Cas fell in love with Dean in season 4 (!!!!) and every SINGLE interaction can now canonically be seen in that way.
I guess at the end of the day, it felt pretty damn good for years of subtext to be brought into text and to not be a ‘delusional shipper’ anymore. Supernatural has been famously bad to its queer fans over the years, so this... this is far more than I ever expected. And yeah, I want Cas to come back, and for Dean to reciprocate. But I will celebrate this victory too.
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Destiel Trope Collection | Day 15: Love Confessions
19 fics under the cut
PB&Js and Epiphanies | @deservetobesaved
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 1,335
Main Tags/Warnings: fluff, oblivious!dean, jack being innocent
Summary: Jack nonchalantly mentions Cas is in love with Dean, Dean has a small crisis and confronts Castiel (the best friend he certainly has NOT had feelings for for years, thanks).
Because I Love You! | @gii-heylittleangel
Word Count: 1,592
Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual Pining, Claustrophobia, Idiots in Love, Trapped, First Kiss
Summary: Dean hates closed spaces; they're always too small and the walls seem to close upon him. Getting locked in one of them with Cas is also the last thing he wants.
IT GETS LONELY SOMETIMES | @cooloddball
Word Count: 1,647
Main Tags/Warnings: Light Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending
Summary: After Dean's prayer in Purgatory 2.0, what happens when Dean and Cas have a heart to heart after a difficult hunt?
An Old Feeling | @deservetobesaved
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 1,741
Main Tags/Warnings: love confession, jealous!dean, fluff
Summary: Castiel thinks Dean will never love him back so he decides to try and move on. Cue jealous!Dean and confessions galore.
It tastes like love | @chaoticdean
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 2,857
Main Tags/Warnings: spn 15x13 coda, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Angst and Feels, Love Confession
Summary: Dean's had a day. They almost lost Cas, then Jack, got them both back plus one shiny new soul, and now he's freaking tired, and where the hell are his headphones?
Or the one where Cas and Dean finally use their words.
The importance of words | @castielscarma
Word Count: 3,634
Main Tags/Warnings: Voyeurism, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation
Summary: Dean catches Cas jerking off which leads to awkward avoidance until Cas invites him to a movie night.
The One Who Gripped You Tight and Refused To Let You Go | @nothing-but-dreams
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 3,781
Main Tags/Warnings: Love Confession, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Dean, Domestic, Fluff, Past Abuse, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Violence, Homophobia, Sam Knows, Supportive Sam, Happy Ending
Summary: Dean has always struggled with coming to terms with who he is. But when he’s forced to confront how he feels about Cas, Dean must choose between repressing this part of himself, or opening himself up to something new.
Better Than Awesome | SargentMom573 (AO3)
Word Count: 4,217
Main Tags/Warnings: Prince Dean Winchester, Prince Castiel, Royalty AU, Love Confession, Marriage Proposal, First Kiss, Light Angst
Summary: Prince Dean of Planet Terra, second in line to the Terran throne, was engaged to be married to Michael, Emperor of Planet Caelum. The Emperor sent two of his younger brothers, Prince Gabriel and Prince Castiel, third and sixth in line to the throne, respectively, to Terra two months prior to finalize preparations for the wedding.
Prince Dean didn’t mean to fall in love with Prince Castiel. When he confesses his love on the eve of the wedding, will Castiel agree to marry him?
Your touch so heavenly | @verobatto-angelxhunter
Word Count: 4,251
Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, romance, smut, angst with a happy ending, top!Castiel,canonverse.
Summary: Dean's prayer was more of the same. Castiel low grace is bothering him a lot, but not much as Dean's constipated words. Both of them went together to a hunt after defeat Chuck and vanish the Empty's deal.
But something is odd between them, and Dean doesn't know what is happening with the angel. Till he figures out… Castiel is sad.
Would be Dean able to express his true feelings to make his angel happy?
FIVE Times Dean Suspected; ONE Time Dean Knew | @lockandk3yfiction
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 4,292
Main Tags/Warnings: 5+1 Things; Major Character Death; Hurt No Comfort; Canon-Typical Violence; Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger; Episode: s10e22 The Prisoner; Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega; Episode: s12e10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets; Episode: s15e18 Despair
Summary: Five times Dean suspected there was more to Castiel’s bond with him and One time Dean knew exactly what that ‘more’ was.
Dean, What's a Top? | @angzlicas
Word Count: 4,546
Main Tags/Warnings: Bottom!Dean, Top!Cas, First Time, Love Confessions, D/s undertones, Grace Kink, Prayer Kink, Smut, Fluff, Threats of Rape/Noncon (not Dean/Cas)
Summary: Prompt: Some guy catcalls Cas and asks him if he’s a bottom or a top (Dean is obviously upset with the guy) and Cas has no clue what that means so later he asks Dean to demonstrate.
Cas doesn't understand why this random man keeps referring to him as Dean's 'Top'. By the end of the night, he does.
And Suddenly I Was in Love | @a-longer-love
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 4,922
Main Tags/Warnings: Dean Winchester is bad at feelings, Cas has a crush, Sam needs brain bleach
Summary: Cas finds social media and he starts gushing about the friend he has a crush on.
Sam and Dean both find Cas' ramblings and connect the clues.
Dean and Cas confront one another about feelings.
Sam needs brain bleach and maybe a new place to live
The best of fools | @chaoticdean
Word Count: 5,199
Main Tags/Warnings: Med Student Castiel (Supernatural), Mechanic Dean Winchester, alternative universe, Jealous Dean Winchester, Oblivious Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Friends to Lovers, Alcohol, Light Angst, Dean Winchester Likes It Rough, Rough Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Consensual Sex, Love Confessions, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, GOD BLESS BENNY LAFITTE
Summary: Dean and Cas have been friends forever, have been successfully sharing an apartment for 6 years while Cas goes through med-school and Dean works at the local garage. When Dean accepts to go out with Cas to blow out some steam before his best friend enters his finale year of med-school, he doesn't expect this turn of events.
The Twinder Twist | @crowley-loves-usuk
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 5,763
Main Tags/Warnings: Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Doppelgängers, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Second Chances, Misunderstandings
Summary: A few days before their high school graduation, Castiel confessed his love for his best friend. Unfortunately, a shocked Dean didn’t say anything in return, which signaled the death knell on their relationship. Neither of them ever really moved on.
Ten years later, when their reunion rolls around, Dean decides that he’s going to take the opportunity to finally say the three words that he couldn’t all those years ago. However, when his former best friend, (and the love of Dean’s life), walks in, it’s not the man that Dean wants. Sure, he looks like Cas, sounds like him—he even has a trench coat—but Dean knows Castiel, better than anyone, and this dude, isn’t him.
This is a story of first love, second-chances, mistaken identity, the use of some morally questionable technology, and two men who were always meant to be.
Because I Want To Protect You | @vampamber
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 5,941
Main Tags/Warnings: genderswap, temporary female Dean, no Castiel/female Dean, panic attacks, Dean is very not pleased with this situation, angst with a happy ending, severe emotional constipation, mental issues from/about the swap
Summary: When Dean gets hit by a spell/curse/whatever the hell it was that happened back in that alley, that turned him female, saying that he was not dealing with it well was a vast understatement. Because there are things where there shouldn't be, and things not there that should be, and it's just an upsetting and unpleasant experience all around (basically, panic attacks, identity crises, all that fun stuff). So when he's pretty much forced into taking Cas along with him as a babysitter on a freaking cake walk of a vamp hunt, one that was supped to help distract him and try and get some of his aggression out, the already short fuse on his rage explodes. Although sometimes, talking out your problems and actually exploring your feelings helps, believe it or not. Especially when some of those feelings involve a certain angel, who also has a few feelings himself.
Okay, maybe the spell was only 99% terrible.
The Weight of the Words He Never Said | @sufferingtrash
Rating: Teen & Up
Word Count: 6,706
Main Tags/Warnings: Season 13 Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion, Episode: s13e04 The Big Empty, love confession, Cannon Divergent
Summary: Dean is grieving after the season 12 finale. Castiel is stuck in the empty. The grief counseling shifter helps him process his feelings. There will probably be a happy reunion.
Both A Blessing And A Curse | @vampamber
Word Count: 7,986
Main Tags/Warnings: first kiss, first time, anxious Dean, big gay panic, non-specific positions, non-specific sex
Summary: Moving into the bunker was a bit of a blessing. Suddenly, they weren't stuck living out of cheap, often times questionably hygienic, hotel rooms or the seats of the Impala. Sure, whenever a case took them away for more than a few hours (and let's face it, since when did they ever get cases that easy?), they'd be stuck back into one of the two settings. But afterward, they finally had a home to go home to. Dean smiled whenever he thought that. “Home.” Wasn't a word really in his vocabulary very often.
But the bunker came with a curse, as well, at least where Dean was concerned. Without having to worry about where the next roof over his and Sammy's heads was gonna be, or just how disgusting his next meal of fast food crap would be tasting, there was almost too much down time to just... think. Dean had never really considered himself introspective, but now, with the echoing hallways and the wide open spaces, his brain kept poking in, wanting to have a good ol' chat with him, more often than he was comfortable with.
knowing is the easy part (WIP) | @ersatzangel
Word Count: 13,021
Main Tags/Warnings: happy ending, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, eventual sexual content
Summary: When Jack brought Cas back, Dean had thought things would be different between them. He wanted them to be different. He was totally prepared, or as prepared as he ever would be, to finally spill his guts to Cas.
All it would take, he had thought, was to find the words and then they’d both know, and it wouldn’t be everything but it would be a start. But he hasn’t been given the chance to say a damn thing, because since Cas came back he’s been avoiding Dean.
Now, it’s no longer only a matter of telling Cas he loves him, too, but figuring out what the heck is going on.
Apocalypse | @maleyah-givemetomorrow
Word Count: 78,981
Main Tags/Warnings: Modern setting (pandemic), and then they were quarantined, demisexual!Cas, feel good fic, light BDSM, soft Dom!Dean, sub!Cas, Top!Dean, bottom!Cas, sassy Cas, Shibari, light bondage, minor angst, major fluff/comfort, slow burn, panick attacks (Cas), fanart
Summary: Dean moves through Cas’ kitchen with the ease of familiarity, as he sets about re-heating the leftovers. Ironically Cas’ kitchen is better equipped than the one in his apartment. It’s just that he’s been pouring all his money into The Roadhouse. The apartment is a rental anyway.
“You have got to be shitting me!”
His eyebrows shoot up at the language. Cas doesn’t curse often, but given the fact that the world is slowly descending into madness, he has a good guess what is provoking it. He glances behind him, across the counter that connects the open kitchen to the living room, where Cas is staring at the television.
(A.k.a. 33 days of fluff, set in a peculiar time in history. Also the one where Dean is a bit slow on the uptake.)
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April Horoscopes: Manifestation
Aries Season is here adding drama, love, and courageous energy into our lives. After seasons with mostly Earth and Air planets, we are back to Cardinal. This is the start of the Astrological New Year and it has arrived with an influx of passion. Venus and the Sun are already in Aries this month and Mercury will enter on the 3rd. One transit to look forward to is the New Moon in Aries on the 11th. Set your intentions and dream big because this Moon will not be afflicted by Saturn. Instead, it is embraced by both Saturn and Jupiter. We will be welcoming the powerful Taurean energy on the 14th when Venus will be in domicile. Sun and Mercury will follow on the 19th, adding to a huge stellium that will conflict with Saturn. Nevertheless, this energy is still lovely and romantic. Mars will shift into a water sign after a long time and the Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th will add more of that dreamy water energy. A reminder with this Full Moon and the Pluto Retrograde on the 27th, that there is still internal work to be done but we can still feel and embrace the magic and inspiration it will bring.
Aries – Your birthday season is here bringing you a period of contemplation and a little chaos. Mercury enters your sign on the 3rd changing the way we communicate from dreamy to daring and brash. This planet in your sign builds our momentum fuels us with passion and even more drive since it will be joining the Sun and Venus. When the New Moon enters your sign on the 11th, we will be fortunate to experience more of that Cardinal energy that will help us move forward. Expect some magic and manifestation powers during this New Moon. If you want it, envision, and go for it. Venus will be in the sign of Taurus beginning on the 14th. The energy now translates to “treat yourself” and you shall during your birthday season. Venus enjoys being in this sign, so more of the good will accompany you during this time. Another interesting transit will be on the 23rd when Mars enters the sign of Cancer. It will be a frustrating transit as this planet will squaring your sign until June. Try to be patient, because Mars will have you repeating tasks if you do not work things out properly the first time. Get focused, keep going and have fun. The Full Moon in Scorpio will be on the 26th, adding some exhilarating and teary moments as you focus on letting go. Finally, the month closes with a Pluto retrograde on the 27th which is going to allow you to reevaluate your career choices for the next five months once again. Card of the month: Ace of Cups Reversed; create fearlessly.
Taurus – Your birthday season also begins middle of the month but some notable transits for you are Mercury entering the sign of Aries on the 3rd. Here you will be reflective as Mercury joins the Sun and Venus in your house of the subconscious. The New Moon on the 11th will be a great time for you to set your intentions regarding what you wish to gain and what you aspire to do in the next six months. A favorable aspect will be Venus entering your sign on the 14th. You are going to feel lucky and beautiful. Mercury and the Sun will join Venus on the 19th. You are going to be feeling more in your element once Taurus season begins on that day. Mars will enter the sign of Cancer on the 23rd, motivating you to create and produce. Socializing will not be an issue now as you can acquire more fame through social media if you put your all into it. The Scorpio Full Moon on the 26th will once again have you contemplating relationships as you look once again to those dynamics at work and your personal life. Issues relating to October 2020 might reappear demanding you to resolve them. Pluto will close the month with a retrograde in the sign of Capricorn on the 27th, making a positive aspect to your sign. More of that transformative energy will continue to follow you since Uranus is also in your sign demanding changes that will make you uncomfortable, but you can handle it. Card of the month: King of Cups; don’t be afraid of emotions or romance.
Gemini – Mars is currently in your sign making a positive aspect to Jupiter and Saturn. You are making things work and getting things done. Mercury, your ruler will be in Aries on the 3rd. This brings a positive dynamic between Mercury and Mars, which will add to your creative spirit and it will surprise you to see how much content you can produce if you keep at it. The New Moon in Aries on the 11th is a good time to put your projects out there because you could get the recognition you have been dreaming of. Taurus Season begins on the 19th when Sun and Mercury move in to join Venus. During this transit, you will want to take a break from the world and recharge as you await your season’s entry next month. Mars will leave your sign and enter the sign of Cancer on the 23rd, making you work harder for the money. The focus and dedication will allow you to build up your income, just make sure not to overspend. On the 26th, the Full Moon in Scorpio is a period of evaluation when it comes to your daily routines and habits. More contemplative energy followed the next day with Pluto Retrograde in the sign of Capricorn. This transits in conjunction could inspire a trip down memory lane but you will just smile and look back because you are on your way to more success. Card of the month: Queen of Pentacles; Be confident in your position of power.
Cancer – As a Cardinal sign you are probably looking for a way to feel more in control this month. Mercury enters the sign of Aries on the 3rd, allowing you to set your sights on the top and manifest greater things. It is the time to make your career dreams come true as the New Moon in Aries graces your house of career on the 11th. With this Stellium, you are on your way to making big moves and acquiring big things if you plan and get to work. A lot of heart, passion and focus will get you anywhere this year. Taurus energy will be amplified with Venus entering this sign on the 14th. This is a great time to receive praise for the work you have done and to have some fun connecting with colleagues or friends. On the 19th, we enter Taurus Season and Mercury tags along with the Sun to build on your need for socializing and the Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th adds some excitement and intensity to your house of romance. There will be huge decisions to be made when Pluto goes retrograde on the 27th that will focus on your relationships. There could be people from the past returning in your life. You have the choice to embrace or let them go. Card of the month: Ace of Swords: Use your creative energy now.
Leo – Like the other fire signs, you are going to embrace Aries season since it will make you feel quite excited. The expansive energy that this point in time will bring you is great for pursuing dreams and achievement before the summer. Mercury will enter the sign of Aries on the 3rd, so if you are in school or contemplating going back, you might feel encouraged to go with it and pick the program you are interested in pursuing. You are going to want to digest information during this transit and once the New Moon in Aries occurs on the 11th, you will feel more confident in what you envision for your future. Taurus Season begins on the 19th, which means you are going to shift gears and focus on achievement and recognition during this transit. You have the favorable energy from Venus that will allow you to shine brightly and impress either professors or bosses. When Mars enters the sign of Cancer on the 26th, you are going to want to retreat from the world and this is perfect since it will allow you to work hard on your pending projects or just find new ways to excel at work. The Pluto Retrograde will open your eyes and allow you to express yourself in ways that are going to be more beneficial in the long run. Card of the month: Six of Pentacles Reversed; Focus on yourself more.
Virgo – Aries Season might not feel like much of an inspiration to you as the intense Pisces Season’s magic continues to linger. Mercury enters Aries on the 3rd, which can be an uncomfortable placement for you. You might reconnect with the past and understand your need to make changes in the future especially with the New Moon in Aries on the 11th, prompting you to let go and forgive. Venus in Taurus on the 14th initiates a period of harmony for you. The Sun and Mercury join Venus on the 19th, officially creating a stellium in Taurus. This is going to bring some answers to the questions posed during Aries Season. If you are focused on relationships this period, try to heal before entering a serious one. Taurus Season will give you the courage to face what is to come and peace of mind. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th will have you traveling and communicating. Put your thoughts in writing to release tension and pain. The Pluto Retrograde on the 27th will once more magnify any issues with relationships and romance. Forgive, let go and be open to love. Card of the month: Five of Wands Reversed; opt for peace not chaos.
Libra – You are going to enjoy the powerful energy that this Aries Season has in store for you. Venus and the Sun are already creating harmonious energies to your romantic life. If you are single, you might meet someone interesting during this three-week period before Taurus Season begins. Mercury will be in the sign of Aries on the 3rd, making you bolder when it comes to communicating. The New Moon in Aries on the 11th will be a great time to fall in love again with your partner. Your heart may be full of joy during this transit since there is a sextile to Jupiter, it will bring pleasure and will inspire you. This is powerful and welcoming energy you need to close out this season. Taurus Season begins on the 19th. Sun, Mercury, and Venus will provide you guidance in matters of love as well as the financial. You might have support from others now or will feel compelled to dive into the treat yourself mentality that Venus will bring since it rules your sign as well. With the Full Moon in Scorpio adding to the themes of value and self-worth, you are going to feel empowered. The Pluto Retrograde on the 27th sets the tone for the changes that will need to be made for future success in work and home. Card of the month: Queen of Swords Reversed; watch your tongue.
Scorpio – You are going to work hard for what you want during this Aries Season and it will be successful especially with the New Moon in Aries on the 11th allowing you to show others who is in control and who is the boss. Your work ethic will shine as the planets in Aries form a sextile to Saturn and Jupiter during this season. Taurus Season will bring back some interesting dynamics into your relationships. You are going to evaluate what your partner has to offer beginning on the 19th when Sun and Mercury enter your house of partnerships. But thankfully, Venus is also there, adding comfort and joy to your life as well. You are able to effectively communicate while being diplomatic with friends and/or romantic partners. Single people might meet someone interesting now with striking Venusian qualities that are likely to keep you interested. A major transit will be the Full Moon in your sign on the 26th, a time where cycles are closing. You are going to learn a little more about yourself and your own capabilities. If you have felt down with all these stressful Saturn and Uranus energies, you are going to reclaim some of the control again. Pluto in Capricorn will start its retrograde motion on the 27th. Expect some changes in the way you express yourself during this transit. Card of the month: Seven of Wands Reversed; be wary of others.
Sagittarius – Fire is in the air this month which is a great change from all the Air energy that has accompanied us for the first part of the year. Mercury in Aries on the 3rd is going to make you more charming. The bold energy of Aries intensifies as the planets begin to build into a stellium in your house of romance and pleasure. On the 11th, the stellium is complete with the New Moon that will allow you to meet new people and you will experience a bit of nostalgia. You might reminisce on past relationships, as you think back to the Mars in Aries transit that happened last year. It also does not help that Mars in Gemini is bringing some transformations to the way you view relationships. After the passion and emotion of this New Moon’s energy, you are going to get more driven and focused once Venus enters Taurus on the 14th. You are ready to make your mark, and no one is going to stop you. Once Taurus season officially enters on the 19th, those plans you made earlier in the year will begin to take flight. As Mars changes signs on the 23rd, you are going to deal with a new emotional intensity you probably did not want to handle now. These transits will only help to make you stronger in the long run, so go with the flow and practice patience. More transformative energy with the Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th and Pluto Retrograde on the 27th. This will be your period of reflection and understanding as you prepare for Gemini Season next month. Card of the month: Two of Wands: Be fearless with your choices.
Capricorn – Get ready to feel fired up during the month of April as your focus shifts from the career field to the home. This is your month to make changes that make you feel more comfortable and to bring a nice peaceful energy to your home. Connecting with family will be huge this month as things begin to get more exciting when Mercury is in the sign of Aries on the 3rd, allowing you to reconnect with traditions and the past. With Venus and the Sun already in the same sign, things will amplify with the New Moon on the 11th, bringing you to focus on changes for the future as well as the successes that have allowed you to triumph for so long. Venus will be in the sign of Taurus beginning on the 14th, so if your romantic life felt a little boring, now is the time to meet new people and begin to feel desirable as this planet makes a trine to your sign. Sun and Mercury enter the sign of Taurus on the 19th, adding more flare and creative energy into your life. Your focus will gradually move from work to romance once Mars enters Cancer on the 23rd. Get ready to attract more emotional people that will provide some interesting perspectives to you. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th has you feeling more sociable, so this is a good time to reconnect with friends or just trim your social circles a bit. The month closes with Pluto, the lone planet in your sign will begin its retrograde motion on the 27th. More transformations ahead. Card of the month: Ace of Pentacles: Financial success awaits.
Aquarius – A big year for you and this month is going to bring lighthearted energy. With the Aries stellium forming, the way you communicate will be audacious and filled with courage. For the creatives, this energy will be inspirational and allow you to be more driven. You are going to have a wonderful time connecting with friends and family. Venus in Taurus on the 14th is going to be a favorable transit especially in the home front. This could be bringing more of a need to make aesthetic changes as you want to bring your ideas to life and renovation might make you feel emotionally satisfied. On the 19th, the Sun and Mercury will also join Venus. This Taurus season will be jam packed and a little stressful since the Venusian planets will be facing off with Saturn, but you can handle it. With Jupiter still in your sign you will be able to overcome and handle any obstacles that are in your way. The Full Moon in Scorpio on the 26th will make an opposition to Uranus. If you are feeling an itch to make changes, think things carefully. This is a transit that asks you to go with the flow and continue working towards what you want in the future. The month ends with a Pluto Retrograde on the 27th. While this can feel intense, it will not compare to what you faced last year with the Capricorn Stellium. You now have guidance and personal experience to handle it. Your power will be known after it. Card of the month: Ten of Cups is a reminder to seek your happily ever after.
Pisces – You are going to do a lot and reevaluate yourself during this Aries Season. Mercury in Aries on the 3rd brings you a sign regarding the way you manage finances. Do the research, be patient and try not to overspend with Venus and the Sun currently in the same sign. The New Moon in Aries on the 11th is going to get down to the gritty parts and will have you doing some more inner work. You are going to think about relationships as well with Venus adding bits of nostalgia. On the 14th, Venus will be in Taurus and the themes will move to connecting and socializing. You will reunite with people or just meet new folks during this Taurus Season which officially begins on the 19th. Mars will be moving in the sign of Cancer on the 23rd which can bring excitement, romance, and drama. Try not to be too dramatic during this transit as Mars tends to make us all a little more passionate. In Cancer it is likely to make us all emotional. The Full Moon in Scorpio is a breath of fresh air for you, and it will happen on the 26th. A Cycle will close, and you are going to feel a weight begin to lift off your shoulders. The opposition this Moon has to Uranus might bring some highs and lows, but you are going to feel enlightened after it. The Pluto Retrograde on the 27th adds a little flare to your relationships yet again. People from the past might return or you might see big changes in your social groups. Card of the month: Strength; you are courageous and powerful.
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The Best Christmas
Description: Y/N and Harry have been best friends since they were children, but when a growing blizzard leaves them stuck together on a quiet Christmas Eve, the friends are forced to confront the feelings they’ve been concealing for far too long.
Word Count: 3.5k
Author’s Note: Is it really Christmas without a cliché blizzard one-shot? Absolutely not! I hope this short piece is a lovely start to your holiday festivities! Happy Holidays everyone!
“It’s looking bad out there, H.”
Y/N hears Harry’s heavy footsteps approaching before feeling him standing behind her. He leans forward, joining Y/N in peering out the window at the thick snowflakes that gust within the blustering wind. His curly locks brush along the side of her face, and when Y/N peeks towards him, she notices his eyebrows to be furrowed with concern at the worsening conditions.
“We should hurry then,” Harry suggests. “Don’t want to get caught in the storm.”
Harry saunters to the opposite side of the room, yanking open the fridge door and promptly searching through the contents within it. He slightly crouches, allowing himself to look further into the fridge. “What was it that Mum wanted?”
“Milk and flour,” Y/N answers.
Harry’s mouth twitches, the beginning of an amused smile. “Only Mum would plan on making cookies and forget the two most important ingredients.”
Y/N impatiently crosses her arms over her chest. “Give her a break, H. She’s been wanting to make it a great Christmas for you and Gemma after being separated in different countries for the past few months.”
“Suppose you’re right.”
Y/N smiles. “Aren’t I always?”
Harry scoffs loudly, and although she can’t see his face, she can imagine him rolling his eyes at her teasing. “Don’t push it, love.”
Harry stands upright, allowing the fridge door to close behind him. He holds onto a bottle of milk in one hand and a small bag of sugar in the other, which he gently rests on the marble countertop. Searching his oversized kitchen for a bag to place the ingredients in, Harry glances towards Y/N.
“Can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve,” Harry comments. He shakes his head, expressing his disbelief with how quickly the holidays have arrived. “I would’ve been halfway through the tour right now if it weren’t for this damn virus.”
“And I would’ve just returned from visiting you in Australia,” Y/N pouts.
Harry’s frown deepens, empathizing with Y/N’s loss. “Oh well.” He shrugs his shoulders and forces a comforting smile to tug on the corners of his mouth. “It will happen someday, I’m sure. We’ll just have to be patient until then.”
Y/N and Harry have been best friends since they were children. The friendship initially started with their mothers, who had been adamant about their children carrying on their unbreakable bond through another generation. Having grown up on the same street in Holmes Chapel, Y/N can still remember the summer afternoons that she and Harry would ride their bikes through the neighborhood, as well as the winter evenings that they would build snow forts in Harry’s front yard. When he auditioned for the X-Factor, Y/N was the first person that Harry called with the good news, and it had also been Y/N who was his first call after One Direction decided upon their hiatus. When Harry released his first solo album, it was Y/N who planned the release party, and when Y/N landed her dream job, it was Harry who got her drunk off cheap wine in celebration. No matter the chaos of Harry’s career or the changing seasons in Y/N’s life, their friendship is one thing that remains steadfast.
The sound of a muffled ringtone causes Y/N to look towards Harry. He curiously raises an eyebrow before reaching into the pockets of his dark jeans and pulling out his cellphone. “It’s Mum,” he announces as he slides his finger across the screen to accept the call, ensuring that it is placed on speakerphone mode so that Y/N can also hear the conversation.
“Harry?” Anne’s heightened voice is consumed with worry. “Where are you and Y/N?”
“We’re still at my house,” Harry quickly replies. “Is everything alright?”
Anne sighs in relief. “There’s a blizzard outside,” she explains. “And the roads are starting to close.”
Y/N then hears her own mother chime in. “We think it would be best if you both stay there for tonight.”
“What?” Y/N asks, her voice growing loud as a wave of disappointment washes through her. “But we’ll miss spending Christmas Eve with everyone.” Y/N looks to Harry for validation, but she feels additional disappointment when she discovers him to be unbothered by the suggestion.
“I know, sweetie, but we’d rather you both stay safe than trying to get across the city tonight. We’ll get together first thing in the morning, I promise.”
Y/N opens her mouth to protest, adamant about her and Harry at least making an attempt at the thirty-minute drive through London so that they can join their families in celebrating Christmas Eve together. Harry, however, cuts Y/N off before she is able to say a single word. “That’s a good plan,” he agrees. “We’ll call you when we wake in the morning.”
“Sounds good, darling,” Anne says.
“You two enjoy your Christmas Eve together!” Y/N’s mother adds.
Harry looks over at Y/N, and upon seeing her arms folded firmly across her chest and the scowl upon her face, he allows a smug smile to slip onto his lips. “Oh don’t worry, we certainly will,” Harry responds, intentionally making his words sound overly sexual.
Harry presses his finger onto the screen, ending the call before either of their mothers can say another word. Y/N drops her face into the palms of her hand, concealing her cheeks that are burning with embarrassment.
For several years now, both of their mothers have made accusations about the friends being in love with one another. They often interrogate their children, constantly questioning why they haven’t started dating one another yet. And while Y/N continuously denies the romantic rumours, Harry has learned to play along with it, adding fire to their mothers’ hope that they will someday be together.
“They’re never going to let us live that down,” Y/N groans.
Harry chuckles lightly. “Everyone already thinks we are sleeping together, so why not have some fun with it?”
Harry’s definitely not wrong. Along with their mothers, the remainder of the world has started to speculate about the friends’ unusually close friendship. Whether it is Harry being asked about Y/N in interviews, his fans gushing about their friendship online, or the media releasing articles with allegations about their secret romance, it is no secret that the world is rooting for them.
“Because it’s not true.”
Harry’s lips lift into a cocky smirk. “But it could have been, right?”
Y/N feels her cheeks burn even more, knowing exactly what he is referring to. Her eyes fall from Harry’s face, unable to maintain eye contact when talking about that night for the first time since it happened three years ago. After a drunken night on the town with their mutual friends, she and Harry had somehow ended up in bed together, half-clothed and desperately searching for reasons as to why they shouldn’t sleep together. It was Harry who ultimately decided not to follow through with it, assuring Y/N that their friendship was too valuable to jeopardize.
“Are we really going to talk about what happened that night? Or should I say what didn’t happen that night?”
“I don’t know.” Harry shoves his hands into the pockets on his grey hoodie, which is stitched with the words “Treat People With Kindness.” His eyes nervously explore Y/N’s face, searching for some indication on how she is feeling. “Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we went through with it?”
She does. Of course, she does. Ever since that night, Y/N has found herself wondering what being with Harry would be like. And she doesn’t just wonder about the sexual aspect of it, but she cannot stop herself from imagining what it would feel like to be loved by Harry Styles. If she is to be completely honest with herself, the very thought of it makes her swoon.
“Sometimes, I suppose.” Y/N’s heart accelerated in response to her blatant lie, and she fears that Harry may be able to hear it. “Why do you care anyway? You can sleep with whoever you want.”
The smile quickly fades from Harry’s face. “Yeah, but you’re...well, you.”
Y/N’s eyes meet Harrys, and for a brief few seconds, they remain focused upon one another. Y/N wants to say something to him, but she is unable to find the right words, which comes as no surprise to her. Y/N and Harry both know that things changed for them after their drunken night three years ago. Whether it is the butterflies in the depths of their stomach when they are alone together, raving jealousy over one another’s love lives, or the constant desire to tear each other’s clothes off, it has become evident to both Y/N and Harry that there are underlying feelings. But no matter how aware they are of this, they both strive to ignore it at all costs, knowing that it is not worth losing a lifetime of friendship...right?
Feeling the uncomfortable tension growing as the silence lingers, Y/N tosses a tin of hot chocolate powder towards Harry, breaking their gaze and causing Harry to stumble as he clumsily catches the tin.
“Cut the sappiness, H. We should be celebrating Christmas Eve!” Y/N reminds him. “You get the hot chocolate and I’ll go find a Christmas movie.”
Harry forces an excited smile in response, but as Y/N skips to his living room, she does not see how Harry defeatedly hangs his head and allows a frustrated sigh to escape from his mouth.
One hour later, Harry sits in the middle of his lengthy couch, resting his legs upon the ottoman positioned only feet away. Y/N stretches out along the couch, extending her legs across Harry’s lap. His hands drape over Y/N’s exposed thighs, and every so often, Y/N will notice Harry’s fingers gently drawing circles on her skin. Knowing that he does not even realize he is doing it, Y/N subtly smiles to herself each time that he does.
Their mugs, once filled with steaming hot chocolate, have become empty. Of course, Harry had hardly sipped from his mug, so Y/N gladly took on the burden of drinking his portion. Harry had even rushed into his kitchen to grab another handful of marshmallows for Y/N, knowing that she is too stubborn to drink hot chocolate without it.
The blizzard has only grown over the past sixty minutes. Every now and again, the wind will shake Harry’s home, automatically bringing Y/N to shut her eyes until it stops. Harry will look down at Y/N each time, offering her a comforting smile and tenderly squeezing onto her leg.
It is not rare for Y/N and Harry to act this way. Whether it is curled around one another at night, dancing together at the nightclub, or walking hand-in-hand through the streets; Harry and Y/N do not hesitate to show their affection for one another, which they have both convinced themselves is simply due to their tight-knit friendship.
As their movie nears an end, both Y/N and Harry become startled when the room suddenly becomes black. The television has turned off, the lights outside Harry’s home have faded, and the Christmas tree no longer radiates with bright lights. The friends sit in complete darkness, unable to even distinguish one another through the unlit room.
“Fuck,” Harry mumbles quietly. “The power must be gone.”
“Use the flashlight on my phone,” Y/N suggests.
Harry reaches for Y/N’s phone that sits beside him on the couch. He taps onto the screen, intending to use it as a small source of light; however, Harry freezes when his eyes fall upon something else. He seems to stare at the phone for what seems like forever, and Y/N eventually feels him shift uncomfortably beside her.
Harry clears his throat. “Ah, you have a text from Tanner.” It is obvious to Y/N that he is confused by the text message, which Harry is unable to tear his eyes away from. “I didn’t know you still talk to him.”
Although she knows that Harry can hardly see her, Y/N shrugs her shoulders. “Just every now and again,” she explains.
The small light from the phone allows Y/N to see Harry firmly press his lips together. His eyebrows curve in curiosity before turning his head towards Y/N, squinting his eyes to find her through the dark. “He fucked you over, Y/N. Why would you want to talk to him again?”
“He seems sorry,” Y/N argues. “And I think he really likes me.”
Harry gives an exasperated laugh. He begins fidgeting with the rings clasped around his fingers. “Well, I don’t like him. I don’t like him at all.”
“Then it’s good that it’s my decision and not yours.”
An awkward silence sits between the friends. Harry is not one to grow agitated easily, so Y/N knows that seeing the text message must have bothered him. Nevertheless, Y/N folds her arms across her chest, indicating that she is not backing down in this disagreement.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” Harry eventually says.
Y/N groans. “Why do you always do this, Harry?” She throws her head back while simultaneously throwing her hands into the air. “You have a problem with every guy that comes into my life.”
Harry is quick to protest. “Because they’re not good enough for you, Y/N.”
Y/N laughs mockingly and bites down on her bottom lip. “Would you rather that I be alone, Harry? Would that be better for you?”
Harry nods his head. “That would be preferred, yes.”
Y/N releases a heavy sigh. Her shoulders deflate as her body falls back against the armrest. “That’s not fair, Harry.” Her voice is thick with emotion, and she fears that she may break into tears at any moment. “I have spent my entire life watching you with other women. I’ve had to endure painful details about your late-night hookups, and I’ve had to comfort you through every break-up, and trust me, Harry, there have been many of those. Meanwhile, you get upset when I date anyone. How is that fair?”
Harry’s voice becomes quiet. ‘It’s just different,” he says softly.
“How is it different, Harry? Please enlighten me.”
Without sparing another second, Harry does not hesitate in blurting, “because I can’t stand to see you with anyone else.”
“And why not?” Y/N presses, waiting for Harry to finally say the words that she has been wanting to hear for the past three years.
Harry becomes quiet. He leans back against the couch and turns his head away from Y/N, unable to say anything more. “It’s nothing,” he whispers.
Y/N nods her head as her eyes gloss over with tears. “Well, if you’re not going to be honest with me then I don’t think I want to be here anymore.” She stands up from the couch and walks towards his front door. “Thanks for ruining my Christmas Eve, Harry.”
Y/N pushes the car keys into her vehicle’s ignition and turns them, but for the fifth time, the car does not start. “Fuck!” She yells, slamming her hand against the car’s dashboard.
Even after brushing the snow off her car, it has become covered again within only minutes. Throwing open the car door, Y/N steps out of it. She turns towards Harry’s house, noticing him to be watching her from his living room window. At any other time, Harry would smirk in amusement at Y/N’s inconvenience, but in this moment, Harry wears a saddened expression. She knows he wants to beg her not to drive in these conditions, but he also knows that it will not do anything to help at this point.
Y/N pulls on her thin jacket, striving to create more warmth for her. Regardless, the chilly London air crashes against her skin. “Fuck this,” Y/N whispers to herself before trudging through the snow in Harry’s driveway.
She does not look back as she continues to strut down the long road. She does not know where she is going and she does not know how long it will take her to get there, but she does know that she is far too stubborn to turn back.
Even when Y/N hears Harry’s voice calling for her, Y/N does not turn around. She continues to march forward, desperately trying to ignore the blowing snow that nearly blinds her. Her hair has become soaked from the snowflakes, which also leave a damp trail upon her face.
“Y/N, where the hell are you going?” Harry calls. “Come back inside!”
But Y/N does not stop. She is exhausted with reading articles about Harry’s romances with models and musicians. She is exhausted with seeing photos of Harry and other women being spread online. She is exhausted of trying to fight against her feelings for Harry, and she is even more exhausted of trying to ignore these feelings by dating other men, which Harry is always quick to shut down. More than anything, she is exhausted with her and Harry ignoring the truth about their friendship.
Harry’s voice becomes louder as he catches up with her. “For fuck’s sake, Y/N, stop being so damn stubborn and come back.”
Y/N eventually feels Harry’s hands on her waist. “Please stop,” he quietly says as he holds her firmly in his hands. His back is pressed against her, causing her skin to tingle at the closeness of their bodies. She does not fight against him, but she instead turns to face him.
He is beautiful. He’s always been beautiful. She can remember being ten-years-old and admiring the green shade of her best friend’s eyes. And now, with them being in their twenties, Y/N is still besotted with those same green eyes. But it is not Harry’s appearance that is his most striking feature to her. It’s the way in which his arms feel like home, and how his laughter has become her favourite sound. Most of all, it’s his unwavering kindness that has not faltered in all the years that she has known him.
Harry scans over her face. His damp hair falls against his forehead, and he has to lift his hand to push the messy locks from his eyes. He rubs his lips together before sighing in defeat, knowing that he can no longer lie to his best friend. “You want to know why it kills me to know that you’re talking to Tanner again? Why I can’t stand to see you, or even think of you, being with anyone else?” His voice is calm, yet sharp. “It’s because I fucking love you, Y/N.”
Harry searches her face for a reaction. She stares at him blankly, replaying his words on a constant repeat in her head. She wonders if she misheard him, or if she has finally heard him say the three words she has longed to hear for far too long.
“I love you, Y/N,” Harry repeats. “I’m in love with you.”
Y/N nods her head, causing water from the snowflakes to drip from the ends of her hair. “I know.”
Harry does not need to ask, but he does so anyway. “And you’re in love with me too, yes?”
“I’m pretty sure that I always have been.”
A tiny smile breaks across Harry’s lips. “Then it’s settled,” he says. “We love each other.”
Y/N nods again. “We love each other,” she confirms, her own smile forming on her face, which is followed by a tiny giggle.
Harry takes a step towards Y/N, his grin growing wider. He lifts his hand towards her, slipping his fingers through her hair as he grips onto the side of her face. “Then come here, pretty girl.”
She swallows, both frightened and hopeful. One of Harry’s hand is snaked around her waist, while the other holds onto the back of her neck. Harry bends to close the distance between their faces, and Y/N presses her lips together to stop them from quivering. And when his lips finally touch hers, she worries that she has forgotten how to use her limbs. Her mind becomes blank as Harry leads the kiss, Y/N following so that their mouths move in sync with one another. The friends remain planed on the middle of the empty street, which has become covered with a blanket of snow, while tiny snowflakes crash against them. Harry kisses Y/N harder and Y/N wonders if Harry also has fireworks exploding within him. After years of longing to do so, the best friends are finally confessing their love for one another, and nothing has ever felt more right. She lifts her hands to clasp together behind Harry’s neck. Harry lightly lifts her off the ground, ensuring not to break their lips apart as he does so. But as he lowers her back onto the snowy street, both Y/N and Harry laugh excitedly, causing their lips to part.
Harry rests his forehead against Y/N’s forehead, not allowing his eyes to fall from hers. “Worth the wait,” Y/N tells him.
Harry nods. “So worth it.”
And for the remainder of the night, Y/N and Harry sit cross-legged on the floor of his living room, quietly stealing soft kisses from one another. Their only source of light is from the three candles lit within the room, and the sound of the howling wind no longer frightens Y/N. And when it strikes midnight, Y/N and Harry turn their heads towards the ringing clock.
“Merry Christmas, my love.”
Y/N smiles. “The best Christmas.”
Harry chuckles. “How can it be the best Christmas if it’s only just started?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she says adamantly while shaking her head. “Nothing can compare to it already.”
Harry leans forward to kiss Y/N’s forehead. “The best Christmas,” he agrees.
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Alright, guys, for the benefit of my confused anons, I'm posting the list of the WONDERWALL series again.
The series below is done in reverse chronological order. I hope this helps! X
(Part Three of W O N D E R W A L L Series)
SAVE THE DATE
Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language in some chapters
Every bride (and groom) dreams of a perfect wedding, and that includes Jamie and Claire. But their idea of an ideal wedding differs from their family. They've wanted an intimate wedding, but after the news of their engagement came out, Jamie's parents and Claire's uncle insisted on a grand family affair. Not wanting to disappoint, Claire agreed, and Jamie has to go along to keep the peace. So instead of starting their married life sooner, Jamie and Claire were thrown into an extended engagement that lasted over a year.
Now six weeks to go before the wedding, the strains of planning their nuptials combined with work and life commitments are beginning to show. Claire's anxiety level is at an all-time high. And Jamie, though fully recovered from his PTSD condition, is becoming more temperamental the more work takes Claire away from him.
As summer progresses, it is anything but smooth sailing. And in the middle of it all are their loved ones, navigating the joys, dramas and pitfalls of planning and starting a new life. They're all willing to pitch in and help, except fate has a way of upsetting even the best-laid plans. Will the promise of bliss burst their bubble of happily ever after?
You can continue reading this on AO3
Chapter 1 Powerplay
Chapter 2 Echoes of A Song
Chapter 3 Live and Let Pie
Chapter 4 Maybe Baby
Chapter 5 Roses and Thunder
Chapter 6 Light in Darkness
Chapter 7 Breakthrough
Chapter 8 Three Hearts
...WORK IN PROGRESS
(Part Two of W O N D E R W A L L Series)
MILES BETWEEN US
Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language in some chapters
Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp and James Fraser met and fell in love during the Holiday Seasons. Unfortunately for their budding relationship, after two weeks of a whirlwind romance, Claire has to return to London to finish some work commitment that could take a year to fulfil. It doesn’t help matters that Jamie’s PTSD condition prevents him from visiting her as loud city noises can trigger panic attacks. They are both in love with each other and are willing to find out where their relationship will head to. But can they find a compromise to bridge the gap of hundreds of miles to give their love a chance?
You can continue reading this on AO3
Chapter 1 Stories She Wrote
Chapter 2 Words
Chapter 3 Twists and Turns
Chapter 4 Reunited
Chapter 5 The Tethered Ties
Chapter 6 A Wrinkle in Time
Chapter 7 All In A Day’s Work
Chapter 8 Light VS Dark
Chapter 9 The Mediation
Chapter 10 The Art of Non-Communication
Chapter 11 Suspicious Minds
Chapter 12 Obstacle Course
Chapter 13 The Reunion
Chapter 14 The Element of Surprise
Chapter 15 Etched On Wood
(Part One of W O N D E R W A L L Series)
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language in some chapters
It was almost love at first sight when James Fraser first meet the editorial assistant for a London-based publishing company, Claire Beauchamp. Unable to ignore the growing attraction between them, they spend a night in each other’s arms. Claire is willing to take the leap of faith, while Jamie’s past blocks him from opening his heart to love. When Jamie inadvertently reveals his inner thoughts, Claire packs her bags and walks out of his life. Jamie realises his error and the true depths of his feelings for her. Is it too late to salvage their Christmas?
You can continue reading this on AO3
Chapter 1 Sparks Will Fly
Chapter 2 It’s Her Cue
Chapter 3 A Christmas Request
Chapter 4 Revelations and Snogs
Chapter 5 Rollover Rollo
Chapter 6 Christmas Treats
Chapter 7 The Holiday Feeling
Chapter 8 Christmas Eve Rush
Chapter 9 The Christmas Spirits
Chapter 10 Who the Hell is Harry?
Chapter 11 One More Day
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Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???
Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:
Me, reading this ask:
This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon.
Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.
But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.
This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5.
(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second)
But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.
Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…
We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….
But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin.
Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her.
I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James.
Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright.
I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?”
That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”
I think it’d look something like this.
what do you guys think?
quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.
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Request from @magsgotswags:
Humor 😂 22. “Okay, so this mission is highly classified and dangerous.” - “Say no more.”
NSFW 💦 32. Outdoor Sex
Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, outdoor sex, unprotected sex (please be responsible irl), Spoiler for Season 2, Episode 5 (The Child’s name)
Tags: Established relationship, enthusiastic consent, seducing your mando, romantic date night, you even get a babysitter
Ever since you had met Mando, you knew that the man under the beskar wasn’t used to slowing down. There was always the next bounty, the next set of people after him or the kid, the very ship you all now called home breaking down. And that all remained true even after the pressure pot romance you’d had with your beskar warrior.
So when things had arranged themselves that your little clan of three needed to rest for a bit on Nevarro, you had immediately set into motion. Calls made, plans were set, and you were rather sure that Din only knew you were up to something but not what you were about.
You had made up some little excuse to talk with Greef for a little while longer when Din wanted to get working on the next project. So things were going perfectly.
“Okay, so this mission is highly classified and dangerous,” you tease Karga as he takes Grogu from your arms.
“Say no more,” he winks back at you, already cooing and wiggling his gloved fingers in the giggling child’s face. “The speeder out front is yours for the day, just bring it back in one piece. It has a bag packed with the items you requested.” He smirked knowingly at the last comment he made which you didn’t even deign to acknowledge.
You had already known Karga was a good man to have in on your little plan, and seeing as the older man pretty much acted like a surrogate grandfather to Grogu was a huge plus for everyone.
Pressing a final kiss to the wrinkly green forehead, you promised that Greef would get his speeder back only if you got your kiddo back in return before departing.
Din was loading up the last of some new meal boxes when you pulled up.
“Where’s the kid?” he asked, his shoulders immediately drawing up stressed when he saw your child was missing.
“Gro’ika is with Karga, grandpa is getting some quality time with his favorite grandchild.”
You placed a comforting hand on his forearm, “He will be perfectly fine, cyare, you know how he is with Greef. Now come on I have someplace I want to show you.”
Din had tilted his helmeted head slightly in question but settled in behind you on the speederbike and you both took off.
You already knew the path and drove out on the lava flats and then turned west, racing over the rough and cracked volcanic rock and earth. You couldn’t help but laugh in the wind a bit as you pushed the speeder a bit faster and Din gripped onto you tighter.
“Careful,” he yelled in warning.
You snorted but slowed when you came to the winding mountainside that you needed to go up to reach your destination. Silly man would judge how fast your driving was as if you hadn’t flown with him for some time now. You knew exactly how fast he went.
Thankfully, for his poor nerves, you were shortly there. Parking the speeder in the wide alcove on the side of the mountain, you hopped off with a spring in your step as you got the pack and set a proximity alarm on the speeder.
“Well, come on,” you said linking your hand into Din’s gloved one.
“Where are you take me, cyare’ika?”
“You’ll see,” you say as you guide him down the path you had been told of. It lead into the darkness so that Din had to use the light on his helm for a bit before the space opened up again.
The sky was above, a solid grey that was set over the huge bowl of perfectly vibrant blue-green water that steamed with warmth. The rocks were softened by a striking carpet of thick mosses in emerald and deep fuchsia. It was a bursting pocket of life in an otherwise starkly empty landscape that was outside the sleeping mountain.
“I figured those healing baths in town need to get their water from somewhere right?” You explain as you kick off your shoes, the pack full of soft towels and food for later being placed by them. The moss was thick and cushiony under your feet, the warmth of the pool also permeating the air making it thick. “And when I found out about this grotto? Well, I knew what I had to do.”
“And what is tha- what are you doing?” Din cut himself off when you shrugged off your vest and then pulled your tunic over your head and tossed it onto your shoes.
You grin at him, wiggling out of your bra band. “I’m romancing and seducing you, of course. We didn’t really get that side of courtship before you married me over the commchannels now did we?”
“I… well… I mean…” Din trailed off. Even with his helmet still firmly set on his head you knew his gaze was currently stuck to your chest. At least it was until you started playing with the fastenings of your pants.
“You going to undress so we can get in, ner beroya? Or you just going to stare and watch me get off alone?”
That caused a growl to come from your riduur as Din ripped off his helmet and set it down before making very quick work of his vambraces and pauldrons.
Shucking off your pants you then helped Din with the rest of his kit, though things perhaps slowed down a bit when you both kept sneaking kisses and touches.
Din growled as you pulled away. His eyes were dark with lust and his hair a mess from being under the helmet. You also couldn’t help but notice that… well his cock was clearly very interested in this scene you had orchestrated.
You grinned at him as you slipped into the waters, the heat perfect for aching muscles and it made you groan. The sound was louder than you expected, the echo in the space making it sound perfectly sinful.
“Osik,” Din hissed. He quickly followed after you, pulling you back into his arms as you both went deeper into the water. The water lapping at your chest as he pulled you in to kiss and nip along your jaw while your arms came around his neck.
“Any more sounds from you are going to be because of me, you understand that?” He growled into your skin. His hands found the swell of your ass and pulled you close until your legs wrapped around his trim waist.
Your already aching core ground against his stomach and the trail of hair that started there. Adjusting slightly you then trapped Din’s hard length between you so you could rock against him, each time your clit bumped against the head of his cock pulled whimpers from your throat that Din endeavored to devour with his own mouth on yours.
“Is it, is it working?” You gasp out as Din spins you both around so he could press you into the mossy side of the pool. His one hand coming between you both to position his cock at your entrance.
“What?” He asked, dazed.
“Me seducing you,” you explained before you forgot how to talk as your riduur pressed up into you.
The thick head of his length stretched you perfectly, somehow making you feel even hotter even here in the pools. You had to scramble against him, your hands clutching at his shoulders, nails dragging over his skin in the slightly painful way you knew he liked.
“Fuck, sweet girl, you could do anything and seduce me,” Din growled, heavily snapping his hips into yours. “You’re going to have to try and keep me off of you.”
You gasped as he bumped up into that sweet spot inside you before you couldn’t help a little bit of a laugh from slipping out, “We might be here all day then, ner riduur. Maybe I don’t want you off me.”
Cyare - beloved
Cyare’ika - darling/sweetheart
Ner beroya - my bounty hunter
Osik - shit
Riduur - spouse
Perm: @princessbatears @youhavereachedtheendofpie @cosmicbug379 @yellowbubblewrap @keeper0fthestars @agentpike @opheliaelysia @catfishingmorales @anxiety-riddled-mando @rzrcrst @mrsparknuts @beccaplaying @trippedmetaldetector @maybege @aeryntheofficial @mandolovian @littlevodika @oloreaa @lovinglokiforever @gallowsjoker @whataenginerd @hayley-the-comet
Pedro Characters: @mrschiltoncat @seasonschange-butpeopledont
Din Djarin Tag: @kyjoraven @maydayfigment @awboomerangsno
Entertaining friends stuck at work today: @spacegayofficial *bonk*
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Nitpick Number 11 - In honor of Red (Taylor’s Version) dropping in ten minutes, let’s talk about the music in RWBY.
You know, I might consider this *not a nitpick* considering that the music can make or break a scene, but I do remember seeing a post talking about how RWBY critics who criticize the music in the last couple of seasons clearly just don’t understand it, so yeah, I’m counting this as a nitpick out of pure pettiness.
So! The music is one of the first things that made me like RWBY, it was used well, it was super iconic, and most of the songs were enjoyable, with none that I just out and out didn’t like. Admittedly, from the start, there have been moments where I thought “they tried way too hard here,” like the rap in Burn or... Dream Come True, which is my least favorite song in the first three seasons, but the occasional hokey-ness and cringe kind of weirdly fit the show? Like, it wouldn’t be RWBY if you didn’t occasionally go “Oh no, what is that?”
But, there were some annoying things about the music from the start, like Red Like Roses being so Summer-centric while the writers forgot to make Summer matter to Ruby for six or seven years of show, or all of Pyrrha’s songs being centered around Jaune, or making From Shadows hit hard when they had no intention of properly addressing the mistreatment and oppression the Faunus had dealt with forever. But on the whole, great music that I still love listening to! Season four had some really good songs too and I think they’re all good, even though bmblb makes me annoyed, so I skip it every time. Season five? More good songs, though sometimes used weirdly or not quite fitting situations or with the occasional line I didn’t like, but on the whole, good. I’ll tell you what, though, at this point I’d started to get annoyed. How come there were at least four clearly Weiss centric songs and all Ruby had was still the Red Like Roses songs, one of which was clearly just about all four mains and the other one heavily featuring themes that at the time still didn’t connect to Ruby, because we’d had no reason yet to think she even remembered Summer and they were even neglecting her in Yang’s storyline? How come so many mains like Jaune, Ren, and Oscar still hadn’t gotten a song of their own, and Nora’s only song was just tied to her romance? And then there were songs I didn’t really care much for, like the Triumph and Ignite that were fine and I liked well enough, but weren’t anything special.
And then season six hit. And I liked exactly three songs that weren’t remixes of old songs. Miracle, One Thing, and Forever Fall. And ‘Forever Fall’ bugged me even though I like listening to it because it was still a Pyrrha and Jaune song when neither of them had gotten a non-romance centric song. And One Thing and Miracle were good, but not great, nothing extraordinary, and I might’ve just liked One Thing because I was so happy to get Neo back and it was tacked along to one of the better songs we’d gotten in seasons. The other songs? Not so much. I hate Big Metal Shoe, Lionize just makes me mad, Nevermore is ugh, and Indomitable and Rising are just... There.
And guys, I swear, I’ve tried and tried to listen through the whole volume seven soundtrack and every time I try, I end up bored, annoyed, missing the old RWBY, and turning it off to listen to something that isn’t going to grate on my nerves. I can’t think of one song off the top of my head that I really enjoy, and I especially dislike all the ‘fun’ songs. And as for volume eight, I actually haven’t heard any of the released songs in full, because I haven’t liked any of what I have heard but for Awake, and I was so put off by volume seven’s music that I can’t find it within me to care about anything but that one song that my sisters listen to still. I can’t care about Nora’s first none romance driven song, I can’t care about Penny getting a song that I’ve heard is heavy on the Pinocchio references and Ruby worship, I can’t care about the possibility of a new Qrow song, I can’t care about whether or not Ruby actually gets a song that matters to her or if Oscar or Ozpin or Ren or Jaune finally get a song that’s about them... This show managed to kill my enthusiasm over the music, and while I had eagerly looked up RWBY songs trying to hear what was new in season six before the album dropped, now I’m just...
I’ll also point out that some of the songs are a bit out of place in volume seven I feel like. For example, why is Trust Love the theme song in the volume where they abandoned and betrayed their allies after distrusting one of them for the better part of the series, going behind his back, and still showing nothing but coldness, disinterest, and a complete lack of sympathy towards Ozpin? Also, that song is grating. Why is Brand New Day allegedly a song about Blake and Qrow becoming better when Blake was pushed to the sidelines and made into nothing more than ‘Yang’s potential gf’ while Qrow’s actual recovery was rushed and then he was just thrust back into despair?
Also can someone please rescue me from the song ‘Celebrate?’ Gross. And I also would like to formally say, on the record, that Let’s Get Real makes me upset. The music in RWBY used to be one of the things I liked best about the show.
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"I haven't had the heart to tell him. And eventually, I realised: better for the poor bastard to not know at all. Better for me to show him a good time during his last months of life... And I feel I succeeded." | WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS
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In regards to bb, I still don't like it. I think it's an overrated ship that had to destroy Blake's personal arc and Yang's personality in order to happen. While also removing sunny boy and all previous faunus characters and the racism subplot. I think it's responsible for much toxicity and division in the fandom and the LGBT community it's meant to represent. However I've come to terms with it being eventually canon. I had hopes they would pick up blacksun where it left off but that's unlikely.
Me hiding my anti-bb stuff behind a keep reading in the forlorn hopes I’ll avoid being stung
To be honest, I hate the bb ship. I don’t hate the concept; I very much think that, in an other life or alternate universe, this girl:
And this girl:
Could absolutely be amazing together. But we’re not dealing with an alternate universe, as much as I might wish we were. We’re dealing with what Rooster Teeth has decided to write into their story, and in that universe, I hate it.
I hate everything about that ship. I think it’s contrived in the story, unhealthy for both partners, detrimental to their personal characters, written with all the skill and polish of an episode of Axe Cop (which I also hate) is laden with false promises and queerbaiting galore, and - as you mentioned - is the source of a lot of toxicity within the FNDM at large.
But, this wouldn’t be a ‘me’ post if it wasn’t a deep-dive, so let’s examine all those things more clearly.
1. It’s contrived in the story.
According to some of the voice actors, as stated during some panel, in some convention, this ship was “planned from the beginning.” I don’t have exact references, because the sheer amount of information being constantly floated by the ‘professionals’ at RT is massive, and disorganized, and ever-changing. However, whether or not this is technically true, the idea that it was “planned from the beginning” has been generally accepted by the FNDM and is often presented as irrefutable proof that the ship is real. According to the bees, the ship has been end-game since before V1 even aired.
For my part, I just don’t believe that. Looking at the content we’ve been shown and nothing else, it seems pretty obvious to me that Blake and Sun were ‘meant’ to be, but the writers changed their minds somewhere along the way - and that’s fine! The writers do not owe their audience anything when it comes to the story they choose to tell. As a writer myself, I’m a firm believer in “writing the story you want to tell, not the story expected of you.” Creativity is art, after all, and freedom of expression is vital to that art. If the writers decided to ship Blake and Yang, more power to them! They didn’t sign some sacred oath upon release of the Red Trailer that specific characters were locked in to experiencing romance with other specific characters. Art suffers when held to that level of rigidity. I’m not saying “let the characters write their own destinies,” because... a mass of ones and zeroes that has been modeled after a pencil sketch and synced to prerecorded lines voiced by some random human can’t write their own destiny. Every ‘choice’ made by the character was actually a choice by a writer. But the writer should be free to make that choice, based on the traits, characteristics, ideas and messages they wish to express in their art - and they should be free to change their mind later on if they come to a choice they like better. If bumbleby was “planned from the start,” that doesn’t mean it’s destined to happen, and even if BlackSun was the original intention, that doesn’t mean bumbleby is inherently wrong.
I just wish the writers would be honest about what really happened.
And no, I can’t say for sure that BlackSun was the original intention over bumbleby. But what I can do is look at the content we were given and make deductions based on those observations.
a) The first three seasons of RWBY are massively heteronormative. It’s impossible to escape or deny. It just is. And when a show produces such blatant heteronormativity, I find it impossible to believe that a non-hetero ship was “planned from the start.” Especially when you take into account the writers saying “Bigotry never existed in Remnant,” so you can’t even watch V1-3 with a lens of “society is forcing everyone to hide their true selves and act in conformity with heteronormative standards, and they will be allowed to change that society and come into their own alongside it.” According to the writers, all types are accepted, free of persecution; they are not in hiding, so if you don’t see any, it means they don’t exist. And in the first three seasons, they don’t exist. So when I hear “two of the four main characters were always meant to be in a same-sex relationship,” I look back over eight seasons of character bloat (there are 147 characters in the list of characters on the RWBY wiki, not including the characters that are listed separately as ‘minor’) and I only see four characters who are canon-confirmed (in the show; ‘might have mentioned it at a panel’ doesn’t count as canon) it makes me go “Hm. They’re lying.”
b) Blake and Sun’s semblances are direct parallels to each other; Blake creates a shadow clone that she leaves behind, while Sun creates a light clone that he projects outwards. Additionally, Blake is heavily coded with ‘night’ imagery (The belladonna plant is commonly known as deadly nightshade) while Sun is coded with ‘day’ imagery (the freaking sun lol) and their character songs reflect this coding. They also did the traditional ‘slow-motion first meeting with a wink from one side and a wide-eyed blink from the other while angels sing’ meeting. They also specifically wrote Blake to confide in and trust Sun, spending a majority of the first five volumes with him while having very little screentime with Yang at all. They ALSO had Blake and Sun go on a real, explicitly stated date, where Sun asked Blake to the dance, Blake later waited at the door to meet Sun outside, he specifically asked her if they were going to the dance ‘together’ and she confirmed that they were, and after she fulfilled her obligations to dance the first dance with someone else, she and Sun were shown to spend the entire rest of the evening together having fun, while the other dancer was not animated to show any awkwardness or reluctance or regret when she walked away. And then they also had Blake give Sun a goodbye kiss. Yes it was on the cheek, but if you try to tell me that “giving someone who you’ve been on a date with a goodbye-kiss on the cheek before leaving on a train” was somehow meant to be a ‘friend’ thing that ‘friends’ do, I just don’t believe you. Again, I want to be clear: I do not think that these things mean BlackSun HAS to be end-game. I do not think the writers owe it to the audience to lock Blake and Sun into this relationship if they’ve decided they’d rather give Blake a different partner. There’s nothing wrong with writing Blake to change her mind, there’s nothing wrong with the writers changing their minds, but IF they expect the audience to objectively believe that Blake and Sun did not actually have a relationship, and that they were just good friends, and that Blake was always meant to be with Yang instead, then they were wrong to write “Blake and Sun go on a real, canon-confirmed, explicitly-stated-within-the-show-by-both-Blake-and-Sun, date,” and they were wrong to write “Blake and Sun have a romantic goodbye kiss in a train station.” If they cut out the date and the kiss, then I could absolutely accept “Sun had a crush on Blake but she didn’t reciprocate those feelings.” Because unrequited love is absolutely acceptable too; you don’t need both partners to feel something in order for one of those partners’ feelings to be valid. But... they didn’t cut those scenes out. They didn’t write it as if it was unrequited. They left in that Blake decided to go on a date with Sun, and they left in that Blake decided to give Sun a romantic goodbye kiss in a train station. All of this together is ample reason to deduce that Blake and Sun had originally been an intended ship. AGAIN, I’m not saying that locks them in, I’m just saying it’s a pretty obvious lie for the writers to now say that it wasn’t romantic at all actually and the audience is wrong to have noticed the romance they wrote.
c) Blake and Yang do not have any on-screen romantic interaction until V6 - unless you count the three seconds of them dancing on camera, which I would love to count, but unfortunately don’t because RT was very careful to write in a ‘best friends’ explanation of “Yang only said she’d save Blake a dance because she wanted to make Blake feel welcome and comfortable” and they were very careful to animate “Yang passes Blake off to Sun happily and unregretfully and walks away without a care in the world” and they were very careful to write “Blake only accepted the dance because uwu best friends trumps boyfriends but she didn’t start actually having a good time until she was with Sun and immediately started laughing and blushing and looking truly happy for the first time in the series” and they were very careful to write “Yang looks really happy and pleased with herself that she managed to get Blake on a date with Sun instead of sulking around the room.” Do you know what could have changed all of that? If they had Yang and Ruby standing up on that balcony together - you know, this one:
During the conversation where the two sisters talk about how much everyone’s a great time, imagine the following conversation:
Yang: You know? I think we really needed this.
Ruby: Yeah, and you did a great job planning it too!
Yang: Aw, thanks!
Ruby: Seriously, you worked hard. And Blake looks like she’s having a lot of fun.
*Camera shows Blake and Sun dancing, Blake having fun. Cut to view of Ruby and Yang, a satisfied smile on Ruby’s face, while Yang’s smile slowly droops as she sighs. Ruby notices, looks a little surprised.*
Ruby: Er... Well, what about you? You deserve some fun, too! Why not go dance with somebody?
Ruby: Come on, Sis, I know you have your eye on somebody, heh heh heh...
Yang: Well, kinda, yeah...
Ruby: ...AHHH! Who is it?! Who is it?! Tell meeeeee!
Yang: It doesn’t matter. She’s happier with Sun.
*Ruby blinks, looks between Yang and Blake with a gasp*
Yang: Gah! I mean - oh gosh, Ruby, you can’t tell anyone!
Ruby: But - but - but you’re perfect with each other!
Yang: Well it’s kind of a moot point, so whatever. Ugh, can something distracting happen so I can just forget about this?!
*continue with the rest of the scene (though while I’m at it actually cut the rest of the scene because if Jaune wants to wear a dress he should have just been allowed to wear a dress instead of them turning it into an ‘embarrassing’ bet because oh ha ha funny because man in skirt laugh laugh now never speak of it again.)
If bumbleby had been the plan from the beginning, it would have been easy to make it clear that Yang likes Blake. Jaune was allowed to tell Ren that he liked Weiss. Pyrrha was allowed to express to Nora and Ren that she liked Jaune. Sun was allowed to tell Neptune that he wanted to pursue a relationship with Blake. Why was it apparently impossible for Yang to tell Ruby - her sister - that she had a crush on Blake? I’m not saying RT had to write a love-confession from one directly to the other, but if they had at least had one admit to a confidant that they had a crush on the other would have gone a long way towards actually setting up this ship and avoiding the queerbaiting I’ll talk about later. And if you say “Yang winked at Blake though, so that’s already confirmation enough” then I guess Yang also has feelings for that rando from the White Fang.
And apparently for... ulgh... her sister.
Winking is within Yang’s character to do for completely unromantic reasons, so Yang winking at Blake literally means nothing. Also, if they were able to animate Yang to blush and make ‘pleased’ faces as she ogles at boys, but then decided not to animate her to ever act even sort of like that around Blake, I’m calling that “they didn’t write that Yang liked Blake.”
Just like with her conversation with Ruby at the dance, it would have been so easy for RT to make Yang act like she actually has a thing for Blake. Instead, they specifically animated her to like boys (and remember, “bigotry doesn’t exist in Remnant,” so the characters aren’t hiding, so Yang is not putting on an act.) And I’m not saying Yang couldn’t like both. But if RT was already perfectly comfortable with animating her to *show a physiological reaction* to boys, and if RT had already planned “Yang and Blake are end-game” from the start, why is there NO scene where Yang is shown to REACT to Blake?? They had Blake go on an explicitly stated date with Sun, and give him a goodbye kiss, but she showed absolutely no romantic interest in Yang, and - more than that - Yang showed absolutely no romantic interest in Blake. And again, I don’t think this means the writers were locked out, or that they couldn’t change their minds, or that it’s wrong for them to ship bb now. I believe the exact opposite: the writers are allowed to change their minds and write whatever story they want, with any ship they feel like writing. But for them to act like BlackSun never happened, and for them to claim that bb was the intention from the start, when there is no evidence supporting that claim, makes me think the writers are liars.
d) IT’S BEEN EIGHT YEARS and the most we’ve ever got for that ship are a couple of sidelong glances and a forehead nuzzle. There has still not been any confession of feelings despite both parties having had ample time for it (not only have they had plenty of downtime and opportunities to confess to each other, but they’ve also both been in situations with confidants where they could have confirmed on-camera that they had feelings even if they’re just asking a friend for advice. Again, Jaune confided in Ren, Pyrrha confided in Ren and Nora, Sun confided in Neptune... So why is it impossible for Yang or Blake to confide in Weiss or Ruby? Especially if we’re meant to believe that they’re all “such close friends.” There has been no canon-confirmation that either party actually feels something substantial for the other; especially if “going on a date with Sun” and “kissing Sun goodbye” don’t count either. By the end of Volume one we already knew that Jaune liked Weiss, but Pyrrha liked Jaune, and Nora liked Ren. None of those relationships were canonized or mutually expressed (or thoroughly rejected) until later volumes, but we already knew their feelings. In volume one. You’re telling me that we’re allowed to be told the romantic intentions of 3/4 of JNPR before V1 is finished, but the B and Y from RWBY are still resigned to ‘implications’ and ‘stolen glances’ eight years later? And yet I’m supposed to believe this was ‘planned from the beginning.’
All this to say, it feels to me like this is what happened: Blake and Sun were designed for each other as characters, but as time wore on and the fanbase grew, it became clear that - although historically, the Rooster Teeth brand’s fanbase was largely comprised of straight white males - the RWBY property was attracting a diverse range of viewers from all walks of life. This left RT in a position where their most loyal fans and RWBY’s most loyal fans were very different people. And in an effort to pander to both without losing either, they decided to just sort of... stall. Indefinitely. Continuing to write Blake and Sun as if they were together but without ‘sealing it with a mouth-kiss,’ until they were able to give a “will they won’t they,” “we’ll meet again,” “if we’re both still single in five years let’s meet back at this train station and pick up where we left off” style pause button, and then they immediately switched tracks and began writing as if Blake and Yang were together, but without making it ‘overtly obvious’ and without sealing it with anything, in an effort to maintain their more bigoted wallets I mean fans.
Which leaves the entire ship feeling incredibly contrived.
2. It’s unhealthy for both partners
I cannot stress enough how toxic this pair is, and how bad they really are for each other. And here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be! The writers are choosing to write this story the way they’re writing it, so why the hell are they choosing to write it to be dangerous and harmful and unhealthy???
a) Yang has abandonment issues. Her mom went missing when she was young, and was presumed dead, leaving Yang to feel a deep sense of loss, specifically tied to ‘leaving for a mission and never coming back.’ Her father went through a deep depression because of it, and shut down for an unspecified amount of time, leaving Yang to feel a deep sense of loneliness, specifically tied to ‘the people I rely on aren’t always going to be able to take care of me.’ She shortly afterwards learned that her mom hadn’t been her biological mother; that the person who’d birthed her had left her and her dad shortly after she was born, leaving Yang to feel a deep sense of insecurity, specifically tied to ‘why would my own mother not love me enough to be a part of my life?’ Her uncle was always coming and going; a familiar presence she knew and loved, but one that wasn’t a source of stability or security, leaving Yang to feel a deep sense of uncertaintly, specifically tied to ‘sometimes he’ll be here to get me out of my messes, but other times I might not be so lucky.’ Because of all this, Yang has been shown to lose it if she feels like people are going to leave her. Specifically, she has been shown to lose it multiple times when faced with the prospect of Blake leaving her. And Yang is valid to feel this way, I’m not saying she isn’t. She isn’t to blame for what happened to her, and there’s nothing wrong with the way she feels. But she still does have those abandonment issues. A healthy partner for Yang would be a stable, attentive partner who doesn’t have a particularly dangerous lifestyle, who can stick around for the long haul and who can provide Yang with the security, reassurance, and long-term commitment she deserves. Yang is also notoriously violent, aggressive, prone to rages and tantrums, and physically abusive to the people around her - from her first appearance in the Yellow Trailer when she sexually assaults somebody(!) and then trashes the whole bar and beats up anybody and everybody who gets in her way
to the fact that she and Ruby got into a fist-fight right in front of Blake during their first meeting, to the fact that she was screaming and raging at the ursai when she and Blake became partners
to the fact that she had a fit of rage in front of the ‘relics’ because ‘too many things were happening’
To the fact that she was physically violent TO BLAKE and let her anger get the best of her when she was trying to talk Blake into slowing down
To the fact that she relied heavily on her semblance and used it to win nearly every major fight (and most minor ones) she had in almost the entirety of the first five seasons, even when it left her open and vulnerable, and that she always let her temper dictate what she did, even when it left her open and vulnerable.
Yang is just... so violent. And yes, they had Yang claim to have suddenly gotten better in the end of V4 when Tai told her she should be better, but she still had hints of it break through sometimes (like when she got mad at Ruby and Weiss for saying they wanted Blake to be there, and went red-eye on them, or when she legit screams at Oz for being an abuse victim) and now suddenly again in V8. Yang lets her emotions control her - and her emotions are usually tied to violence. Also Yang is racist.
It really says something that when I watched that scene, I thought “somebody found out she’s a faunus and bullied her” and then was stunned to find out it was Yang, and then when I was showing RWBY to one of my siblings later, she also thought “somebody found out she’s a faunus and is bullying her” and was stunned to find out it was Yang. If the narrative is “Faunus are people and don’t want to be treated like animals,” and Yang decides “I know how to control Blake and manipulate her into talking to me; I’ll treat her like an animal!” that means Yang is racist. It doesn’t help that Chibi Yang is even more racist than Canon Yang (she gives her a cat-toy as a present at one point.) I know it’s not the same universe, but it just adds to the pattern. Yang never addresses what she did to Blake, or apologizes, or says it was wrong. Yang seems to have the same philosophy Rooster Teeth does: “Just pretend it never happened, and make sure to say some ‘woke’ thing to somebody who’s even more racist later so people will think I’m better now.” Well, I don’t buy it.
b) Meanwhile, we have Blake. Blake is an abuse victim. She was coerced and manipulated within a relationship before, and her partner at the time, Adam, was a violent, aggressive person with anger issues, who got mad at Blake for leaving and also physically attacked her. He spent years isolating Blake from her family and manipulating her into thinking that if she wasn’t doing what he said was right, then she was in the wrong. He pushed her to do things she wasn’t comfortable doing, and when she finally did break free of him, he chased her down and attacked her, and swore to destroy everything and everyone she loved, as punishment for leaving. He made her believe that everyone else was better off without her, because she left. He made her think that getting close to people meant they would get hurt, because she left. He turned her oldest friends (Ilia and the others in the WF) against her, dismembered Yang, caused Sun to nearly die through Ilia, and tried to have her parents murdered, because she left. He stalked her and followed her to Argus, attacking her again and trying to murder her, because she left. And he spent the whole time telling her that she deserved it, that she had earned it, because he ‘loved’ her and she had ‘hurt’ him, because she left. The last thing in the world that Blake needs in a relationship is a partner that is violent, aggressive, prone to rage, and gets mad at her for leaving! Blake needs a partner who is willing to let her go. Blake needs a partner who is willing to give her space, or time, or whatever she needs. Blake needs a partner who is willing to let her take the lead. Blake needs to know that she can leave and that’s okay.
The two of them are terrible for each other. You can’t take a person who needs a present partner and a person who needs space and absence and expect them to have a healthy relationship - especially if you don’t DO THE WORK to MAKE IT HEALTHY! Rooster Teeth did not make the launching point of their relationship healthy. They did not fix Yang’s aggression, they just wrote in one scene where Yang announced “There! My anger and aggression and violence has been fixed now!” and then forgot to write any meaningful changes to her character, and then they wrote Blake to PROMISE NEVER TO LEAVE! What the actual fuck??? Blake literally had just been attacked and blamed and yelled at by Adam, to the point where she actually had to kill him in order to finally be free of his chains, and then she turns around and CHAINS HERSELF TO YANG?!?! This isn’t healthy! Making an abuse victim PROMISE never to ever leave a person who HAS HIT HER BEFORE is not a healthy relationship! It sets a horrifically dangerous precedent for impressionable viewers, as well. “Are you trapped in an abusive relationship? You should find a different abusive asshole and expect them to rescue you, and then promise to never ever leave them because they got mad at you for visiting your parents earlier.”
I know that last sentence paints Yang in a really bad light, but like... come on, you guys, I’m not the one with the paintbrush! I love the idea of Yang learning and growing and changing, until she’s not the abusive asshole you see in all those screenshots above this. I love the idea of Yang putting in the work and becoming a good, kind, gentle, stable partner for Blake. And I love the idea of Blake making active choices to stay, deciding to support or trust Yang through her own struggles, and being there for Yang even if it’s hard for her. But that requires character growth, and dialogue, and scene directing and a lot of little moments that all form the piece of one big puzzle. Rooster Teeth can’t just make a random announcement in the climax of season six like “HEAR YE HEAR YE! Yang is now going to be not-abusive! While Blake is now going to be mega-submissive!” and call that GROWTH! Especially not with characters like this. This relationship could have happened and still have been healthy. They could have made Yang actually change, slowly, with trackable moments, so that the audience can see that she has grown up, instead of just being told “btw Yang’s a grown up now” and they could have made her become understanding, and open with Blake, and - most importantly - they could have written her to let Blake go. And then they could have written Blake to actually see that Yang had changed, and choose to stay, and open a conversation, so that the things Yang did to her in the past are actually addressed and dealt with, and that could have been the basis of a strong, good relationship.
But they didn’t. And in V8, they double down on making Yang be sulky and upset that Blake didn’t pick the same mission as her, and then Blake is anxious and afraid that Yang will be mad about it, and it’s animated to be uwu cute. Ugh. This is so unhealthy.
3. It’s detrimental to their personal characters
The toxicity of this relationship is only compounded by the fact that both characters were stripped of their personal arcs once Rooster Teeth decided to start shipping them in V6.
With Yang, this wash-out was less obvious: She had been a thrill-seeker with abandonment and anger issues who experienced trauma that was in some part a result of her lack of control in those areas, and was thrown into a ‘bigger-picture’ adventure of gods and magic, while trying to find and protect a beloved little sister and come to grips with the uncle she thought wasn’t exactly reliable and the birth-mother who had abandoned her, struggling with her anger and abandonment and trauma along the way. And then, suddenly, her story was completely changed to being that she’s a ‘forgiving’ and ‘strong’ person who gets ‘stigmatized’ BY BLAKE and has to patiently wait for BLAKE to learn that it’s ‘not what’s on the outside’ that counts, and then rush to Blake’s rescue to prove that she’s totally strong and wonderful and forgiving, and that she can ‘graciously’ let Blake come back if Blake promises to never leave again. She also completely stops acting like Ruby or Qrow or Weiss matter to her anymore, as well, implying that Yang only has enough room in her heart for one person, and she has decided that person is Blake, so screw everybody else. So what if Qrow is drunk and depressed and under the spell of Apathy in a cellar while Ruby and Weiss try to fight them off and save him at the same time? Why would she care about her beloved little sister, or her uncle who she’s had problems with but who still ultimately loves her and takes care of her when he can (before they ruined him in V6 too lol), or the girl who talks to her and initiates meaningful discussions and shows her physical affection and has put the most effort into her relationship with Yang than just about anybody else ever has? She has a cute gf to save now. And then, in the second half of V8, Yang magically remembers that she has an uncle and sister and that she once had not one, but two absent mother-figures, and friends that aren’t Blake. But it’s too little, too late; having her start to remember that people other than Blake exist about five episodes before she (according to the character’s eyes) dies, is a cheap trick to try to make it seem more emotional than it really is.
Meanwhile, I’m not the right voice to speak on exactly why it’s so terrible that Blake’s entire identity as a character was just stripped away from her the minute she became a love interest for Yang. But suffice it to say, it’s disgusting. Blake had been a freedom-fighter that was disillusioned with her group but still impassioned for the cause, who was outspoken, full of purpose, and not content with sitting around waiting for others to save the world. She was willing to put in the work it took to inspire change - whether that work consisted of reconnaissance, infiltration, and outright warfare, or walking around town gathering signatures, she was there. Rooster Teeth wrote it all terribly and conveyed the wrong messages (again, I’m not the right voice to go into why, but there are plenty of other critics who are more qualified to talk about this) but that’s who she was. And then, all of a sudden, she was a simpering, wide-eyed, baby-faced nervous doll who couldn’t make eye contact with anyone and constantly had her head ducked and was always biting her lip and hunching her shoulders and acting uncertain and never knew what to do. And she also can’t land a punch anymore, unless it gets set up for her by Yang. Barf.
The second that these two were slotted for a relationship, one of two things could have happened: Rooster Teeth could have written a narrative where each person’s past failings were addressed, their incompatible traits worked on because the characters cared enough to change for each other, and they made it clear that they liked each other - even if they both agree they’re too busy with world-saving to fully commit to a relationship. OR, Rooster Teeth could just pretend their incompatible traits just never existed and completely change both characters so that they’ll ‘fit’ better. They went for the second. And also, Rooster Teeth has no idea how to write for an equal partnership; they only know how to write ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive,’ so they took away all of Blake’s passion, righteous anger, ambitious hope, and fiery drive, and made her shorter and more girly, so that she would be the ‘submissive’ half of the pairing, so that Yang could be the cool, confidant, decision-making partner. Disgusting.
4. It’s written terribly
I’ve already gone into this somewhat, talking about how Rooster Teeth very blatantly did not write the two to be a real ship in the first five seasons even though it would have been so incredibly easy to do so, and then they just... spiked it up, in V6, so that they’d be at the starting level of groundwork that Renora and Arkos had established in V1, and then it stagnates and now we’re still there. V8 bumbleby is at the same level as Renora and Arkos was in V1; It’s clear that at least one of them has a crush on the other, and maybe they’ll be a thing in the future, if they both live long enough to get there. Maybe they’ll be lucky and be another Renora. Maybe they won’t be as lucky, and Yang actually is dead for some reason even though nobody believes it at the moment. I don’t need to spend too much time on this, but I just need to reiterate:
It would have been possible for Yang to confide in a friend that she had a crush on Blake as early as V1. But they didn’t write that to happen. It would have been possible for Yang to get all blushy and pining for Blake as early as V1. But they didn’t write that to happen. It would have been possible for Blake to show some confusion regarding her own feelings regarding Yang/Sun/Adam as early as V1. But they didn’t write that to happen. It would have been possible for Blake and Yang to work towards an equal relationship based on mutual trust and understanding and a decision to better themselves in order to deserve each other. But they didn’t write that to happen.
Rooster Teeth didn’t write a convincing ship when it comes to bb. They’ve done the exact bare minimum of making sure that both partners are ‘mostly’ unattached to others, without confirming that they have any attachment to each other - so that they can continue to rely on bb shippers to shovel coal into the steam engine that keeps the money-making RWBY train running, without risking their more bigoted fanbase getting off at the next station. Which brings us to...
5. It’s guilty of massive queerbaiting
It would be different if everything above had been the only indication of queerbaiting. It’s still all a really big tell (Het ships getting confirmation in V1 while their only same sex ship among the main cast is still unconfirmed eight years in, only four of the one-hundred-and-forty-seven ‘major’ characters being canon-confirmed to be on the LGBTQ+ spectrum) but it’s not the only indication.
If you’re still reading this, odds are you already know about the whole merch situation. The jacket for Blake and Yang’s partnership basically saying “are they friends? Are they lovers? Who knows?? GIVE US MONEY!” and then quickly editing it out once they get called out on it.
There’s also the whole “will they kiss” situation. On a panel before V7 came out, the cast were all asked to give the audience a clue about what was coming by saying what they’re looking forward to the most, in only three words. And Barbara Dunkleman, the voice of Yang, who’s been on record as one of the people claiming to have ‘shipped bumbleby from the start’ and who has also said that ‘we threw bumbleby at [Adam]’ and joked about it being literal and figurative, said “Will they kiss?” as her three words. After the volume came out and it turned out that the answer was no, everyone rushed to justify it, by being like “she was talking about Renora, because they kissed.” But the damage was done.
Just to be clear, I consider ‘queerbaiting’ to extend to all situations in which a queer relationship is frequently hinted at or implied, but never confirmed; made worse if the voice actors and writing team say that they believe in the ship, that it was ‘planned from the beginning,’ and the marketing team uses the ship to sell merchandise - if the ship is deliberately dangled in front of the audience like a carrot in an effort to make the shippers continue to watch, but is never given to them for fear that anti-shippers will be upset at the existence of carrots, it’s queerbaiting.
Also, I’m being incredibly gracious by keeping my discussion to the bb ship alone, when I could talk about Fair Game. Baaad look for Rooster Teeth, guys. Real bad look.
6. It’s a huge contributor to fandom toxicity
You’re absolutely right that this ship contributed to fandom toxicity. It’s not the only thing, by no means, but it’s a big thing. Everyone knows about the wasps. Everyone jokes about ‘getting stung.’ Odds are nobody even batted an eye at my Animal Crossing opener - unless you chuckled, because the wasps have somehow managed to convince most of the FNDM that they’re right to be so abusive - that it’s endearing. That it’s funny. That it’s cute.
It’s not cute. People get death and rape threats over this ship. People get harassed for pointing out that Blake went on a date with Sun and kissed him on the cheek. People get legit attacked for pointing out that Blake and Yang haven’t been allowed to develop past what everyone else got in V1. And people get roasted for saying that Blake is bisexual. Because the homophobes among the BlackSun shippers are mad that we admit Blake has feelings for Yang, and the biphobes among the bees are mad that admit she had feelings for Sun.
The FNDM is notorious for blind devotion to RWBY, rewriting their own memories in an attempt to pretend that it has always been perfect, and attacking everyone who disagrees. And somehow, the wasps managed to take it to a whole new level. Everybody knows it. Everybody knows the wasps are out for blood. Everybody knows to run for the nearest building when we accidentally knock down a hive. They’re ruthless, and it doesn’t matter who you are, what you believe, whether or not you’re also part of the LGBTQ+ community. They don’t care. They want bumbleby to have always been real, and will say truly horrible things to anyone who ships something else - or who likes it for its potential but thinks it was wrecked by Rooster Teeth - or who even likes it for what it is and is just expressing hurt that they keep being told to ‘just wait’ year after year because it’s not getting any better.
Not every bumblby shipper is like this. I know people who do ship bb and who are content with what they’ve been given and they are willing to wait long periods of time before they get more, and still hate the other shippers because the wasps are bastards and everybody knows that. Every fandom has that one subgroup that rallies around a common cause (usually a ship) and attacks everybody else. And in FNDM, that subgroup is the wasps.
I hate bumbleby as a ship. It could have been great, and no one’s wrong to like it or ship it. But Rooster Teeth fucked it up bad. It’s horribly contrived. It’s disgustingly toxic. It’s out of character. It’s badly written. And it’s the source of a lot of toxicity about in the FNDM.
But it absolutely needs to be canonized, because of the queerbaiting. Not every bees shipper is a wasp, after all; and even if they were, nobody deserves to be strung along and exploited so horribly, and Rooster Teeth are cowards for having done it this long.
And fair warning, I’m just going to delete and block anyone who tries to sting me over this, so if anyone is mad about what you see, just disengage and block me first; you’ll save yourself a lot of time.
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2020 in review: kdramas (the heart fluttering, the disappointing, the saviors of 2020)
it’s december 31st! the new year is quite literally upon us (some of y’all are already in 2021) and my procrastinating self has chosen to upload this today. i’ve always loved these rec lists and I wanted to do one for 2020! this year was a rollercoaster for kdramas with some excellent ones and some not so excellent ones. i watched all of these in 2020 but not all of them were released in 2020.
if you want to use my questions to make your own list please do!! or give your favs in the tags, i’d love to read them. (fair warning, some of these have multiple answers bc i just can’t choose one!!)
drama that made me laugh
When The Camellia Blooms (2019)
i finally got around to watching when the camellia blooms this year and it. was. so. funny. oh my goodness, the comedic timing in so many scenes was pure excellency and im kinda mad at myself that i didn’t watch this last year. this isn’t just a comedy for those who are interested, its a thriller/romance but its also so fucking funny. definitely watch this if you want to laugh (and be touched bc the emotional scenes in this one are beautiful)
drama that made me cry
Sweet Home (2020)
hahah….. um this one is gonna go to sweet home friends. i went into this one with zero expectations and the first couple episodes didn’t really wow me? but i kept watching and holy shit fam. this show really picks up story-wise around ep 4 and makes the viewer love a lot of these initially unlikable characters. all i can say is that the end was devastating for me and i cried quite a bit. (warning, there are a lot of mature themes in this one so make sure you look for trigger warnings or send me an ask and i’ll list them all out for you)
Itaewon Class (2020)
i loved the ost for itaewon class!! the music is just so inspirational and pump up music, its so good. my favorites are ‘you make me back’ by woosung and ‘start’ by gaho.
drama with chemistry royalty (aka the best couple)
i have three for this one because i just cannot choose one.
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)
we recognize this one as one of the best things to come out of 2020. go moon young and moon kang tae have some of the best chemistry i have ever seen in a drama couple. i waited on the edge of my seat every single week for the next couple of episode just so i could fawn over these two. they work so well together, lift each other up, and so fucking funny together and support one another. while they’re not the chillest couple (lmao) they’re most certainly one with the most personality. they’re so cute and bicker and they just get each other. who could ask for more.
Flower of Evil (2020)
our badass mom and dad 😭😭. this was another peak drama that came out this year and our married partners-in-crime-but-not-really had amazing chemistry. baek hee sung and cha ji won were so cute as a married couple but they were even more precious later on in the drama after certain things unfolded (no spoilers). they both just get each other and protected one another as well as on the most precious kdrama children this year, their daughter eunha. they were so wholesome, flower of evil is so very worth a watch.
Into The Ring (2020)
this was one of the more underappreciated kdramas of the year but hoo buddy was the main couples chemistry top notch. they were so friggin cute and i just couldn’t. goo se ra is highkey one of the best female characters i’ve ever seen, she’s absolute chaos, lawful chaos, but chaos nonetheless. her other half, seo gong myung is opposite from her as lawful neutral. he’s just along for the ride that is se ra and loves her. they’re both so very fond and protective of each other and back each other up!! very very cute and you’ll definitely replay more than a couple of their scenes together.
Record of Youth (2020)
it’s sad but true… i went into this one with so much hope and excitement (i was riding off that ‘psycho but its okay’ high) and i was vastly disappointed. the plot mostly focused on the male lead, and there wasn’t much characterization for the female lead which i didn’t like. honestly, i only cared about maybe 3-4? characters in the whole drama. the rest were absolutely terrible or plain boring and i ended up skipping eps 14 and 15 and just watched the finale. i would not recommend tbh.
drama you can’t really get through
Crash Landing on You (2019)
this one is absolutely on me, i want so badly to love this one. but i just… can’t seem to get past ep 2? i’ve tried!! i swear, but i just cannot get through it. maybe in 2021, i can try again and i’ll enjoy it more.
drama everyone else liked but was meh
i though kairos was a bit predictable tbh. i know those of us who did end up watching it really liked it but maybe its because i watch so many crime/mystery shows that this one didn’t really do it for me. the writing is quite solid and everything connects well, i would recommend that those who don’t really watch thrillers, to watch this one. (also the friendship between the female lead and her two friends is suuuper cute and worth it alone to watch kairos)
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)
yeah… this one wins again lol. what can i say, i just loved it so much and the main theme of the show is romance (its also a comedy and a mental health/healing drama) all i can say is watch this if you haven’t yet, its definitely worth it!!
Memorist (2020) & Watcher (2019)
i really enjoyed these two mystery dramas. both were super fun to watch and very kinda unique in their own ways. i liked memorist because it was lowkey funny and i liked the relationships between the characters, but most importantly i couldn’t guess the main antagonist by the end! i really thought i knew who it was and then i was completely wrong lmao. watcher was also very good, the main trio had really good chemistry and i really cared about all the characters. (also i’ll never say no to watching seo kang joon) plus the plot twists threw me a bit at the end which is always a feeling i welcome, i love being surprised and wrong (as long as it makes sense)
favorite slice of life
Hospital Playlist (2020)
oh my goodness, i was late to the hospital playlist party and i regret it because this show is so. so. good. its just a slice of life following 5 friends who are doctors and work at the same hospital together but its so much more than that. this is honestly one of the first shows i’ve seen that are optimistic? in the show, every time i thought a plot was going to play out a certain way (usually negatively, as tends to be life unfortunately) it surprised me by taking the more optimistic wholesome route. characters in subplots changed for the better, became more understanding, chose to do the right thing, etc. if you want a feel good drama where the main characters have wonderful platonic chemistry and just care about each other but is also super funny, watch hospital playlist!! (season 2 is coming out early 2021 and im so pumped)
The Untamed (2019)
this one is a cdrama but i watched it in 2020, mostly because of how many people on the internet were adamant that the rest of us watch this and ngl they were v right. the untamed was very very good and im really glad i gave it a chance and watched it, its also my first cdrama ever. the chemistry between the male leads is honestly what makes this show and its worth the 50? i think? episodes. to be completely honest the fanfiction for the show are peak and if you do watch this, go straight to ao3 and you will not be disappointed.
dramas that saved 2020
The Uncanny Counter (2020) & Run On (2020)
these two dramas are among those that started airing at the end of the year and will go into the beginning of 2021 and absolutely saved the end of 2020 for me. while neither of these are finished, both have been excellent so far and worth starting. uncanny counter has the best use of the found family trope i have ever seen. i fucking love the four counters and their relationship with each other, how protective they are of one another. they all have amazing chemistry and the actors have amazing chemistry in the making films.
run on has one of the cutest couples that will definitely make my best chemistry list for next year. i didn’t put them on this list bc they actually haven’t gotten together yet but once they do, they’re gonna be freaking adorable, i can already tell. there’s no specific grand events propelling the plot forward, but just following the lives of these unique, interesting and relatable people who have casual yet entertaining conversations with each other. the show is super soft and the main couple are so straightforward and honest (plus theres mutual pining!!)
best dramas of the year
here are my best dramas (and one movie) watched this year, no further explanation given lolol. just watch them and enjoy because these are fucking excellent in the feels department. trust me 💞
It’s Okay To Not Be Okay (2020)
Flower of Evil (2020)
Itaewon Class (2020)
Hospital Playlist (2020)
One Spring Night (2019)
Midnight Runners (2017)
Hot Stove League (2019)
I hope this gives you some fun stuff to watch!! or convince you to start that drama in your watchlists!
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Title: filthy rich [2/3]
Pairing: millionare!sakusa kiyoomi x y/n [filthy capitalist au]
Genre: mild romance themes, major angst ahead, a bit of mystery, mafia!au-ish
Synopsis: He was perfect, maybe too damn perfect.
Warnings: mild sexual content, yandere themes, toxic relationships, violence, shady business, class differences, mentions of rape, and sakusa being a manipulative bastard [this fic does not in any way glorify these types of relationships!!!]
Notes: Happy 605 followers guys! Decided to change this into a three part fic since it would be too damn long....I know this is a long overdue chapter hnnng i fucking hate college i cant wait to see sakusa in the new season, how was it guys? I was absolutely thrown off by akaashi even if he only had like a minute or so screentime hnnng...
previous ;; next || series masterlist || taglist
Sakusa Kiyoomi reminded you of an onion.
Over the past three years of going out with him, you seem to find a new layer to him. No longer was he the asshole from that day, he was the sweetest boyfriend, hands down. You were both a bit awkward in terms of affection since you two were treading on unfamiliar territory (much to your surprise, a man like Sakusa Kiyoomi has never been seriously intimate with anyone) but like every other couple out there, you surpassed it. You were now in the receiving end of his soft smiles, warm gaze, and affection.
Although you had your worries like your residency and his company growing bigger and bigger by the day, you started to wonder if you’d last long but the man casted your doubts aside and continued to be faithful to you and everyday you seem to fall deeper and deeper in the rabbit hole.
“...and for the last time, stop buying me expensive things and offering to pay my student loans.” you frowned, stirring the Butajiru for your boyfriend who was coming by today for dinner. Out of spite, early on in the relationship, you had to learn how to cook since Sakusa demanded you to when he learned that you lived a lot on canned foods and unhealthy take-outs. Much to your despise, he even volunteers to pay for your weekly groceries and even got you a ‘for sale’ stove that he apparently can’t return because he misplaced the receipt.
“I don’t get it, don’t partners like it when they’re given gifts all the time?” his brows are upturned, making you scoff. “From past experiences-”
“Are you sure that those weren’t sugar babies?” you cut him off, pointing the wooden spoon on your hand at him, “Because from your description you sound like a sugar daddy.”
“Hey.” He grumbled, walking up to you from behind to envelope you on a hug, “I’m not old enough to be a sugar daddy.”
You shut the stove off and turn to him, placing a brief kiss on the jaw, “You yell at teenagers and complain when it’s too noisy. I think you qualify for a senior discount and a sugar daddy title.” You joked, escaping his grip to grab some bowls so you both could start eating.
“You’re only four years younger than me.”
“Mhm.” You hummed, sticking your tongue out, “Also, aren’t you supposed to be at a party tonight?”
“You weren’t there.”
“Aren’t you required to go?” You frowned, placing the bowl in front of him, “You know I’m not a big fan of those things and you can’t keep handing it over to Komori-san…”
“And you know I hate it when you aren’t there.” He softly repeated.
You roll your eyes and place your own bowl as you sit in front of him, “Always the smooth talker since we met three years ago.” you shake your head.
“Three years, huh.” Sakusa paused, “Speaking of three years, I was thinking…”
You stopped eating and looked up to face him, his face dead serious, “Move in with me.” He asked out of the blue. Your eyes widen and you let down a gulp, your stomach flipping at his words.
“I-” You paused, “I...I can’t…”
Sakusa tilted his head, confused, “What?”
“Don’t get me wrong…” You started, eyes looking at your food, seemingly nervous, “I-I wanna move in with you, my lease is almost up...but…”
“It’s not like I wasn’t going to tell you any sooner but….but i’m moving.”
Silence filled the room that you could almost hear the pin drop, “What do you mean you’re moving?” Sakusa’s voice was void of emotion and it made you scared for the first time. The man wishes you were wrong, wishing that you were just moving someplace nearby but the next words stun him.
“I got accepted for a huge humanitarian work in Medaide.” You gulped, carefully choosing your words as you slither your hands to his, trying to distract him, “We'll be travelling around third world countries, like the dream I've always told you about. I thought, well, I didn't got accepted since I didn't hear from them but it seems like I did.”
“How many months?”
“It’s- It’s a permanent job, I go back once a year…”
Silence enveloped the room, the only thing that could be heard was the faint sound of the bustling city outside. The world seems to have stopped for Sakusa that time.
“Congrats.” Sakusa smiled softly, breaking the silence, “I’m proud of you, bunny.”
Your eyes widen as you immediately leap out the chair and run to your boyfriend’s side, “Thank god!” you exclaimed, sitting on his lap to envelope him in a hug, “I was afraid you’d break up with me.”
You stare at him in the eye, hands on his cheeks, “Now why would I do that?”
“I don’t know, we’d only be seeing each other once a year if i accepted it.” You murmured, kissing him on the temple, “Thanks for being so supportive.”
You don’t notice how his grip tightens a bit on your waist nor the darken look looming over his features, “I’d never let you go, bunny. Never.” he hummed.
You continue on with your little happy bubble with your ever supportive boyfriend, you start shopping for some goodies for your trip that you were scheduled to leave next month. You should’ve known everything was too good to be true.
A week before your trip, the company had called you in and said that you were cut off from the team and that apparently your experience wasn’t enough.
You vividly remember Sakusa rushing to your side mid-day when he should be swamped with work, whispering soothing words in your ear. You were absolutely devastated, the dream job you wanted felt like it slipped away, it took you a month to get back to your feet and actually go out. Despite getting over it, you were discouraged, the words they said echoed on your head, thoughts on how you weren’t performing well back in med school and how your record on residency wasn’t enough.
“Oh.” you blinked, looking up to your boyfriend, “Sorry, I spaced out.”
It seemed like the only constant thing in your life now was Sakusa, your friends were busy and they had come and gone, you didn’t want to worry your very busy parents so you didn’t call them about your dilemma. You didn’t want to call your aunt or Hinata about it too since you know they’d tell your parents.
Kiyoomi was the only person who stayed.
He was the only one you trusted.
“Is that roommate thing with you still open?” you suddenly asked, making Sakusa paused mid-movement.
“Of course it is,” He dropped the cutlery he was holding and strode to your side to caress your cheek, “It always is for you.”
“Guess I’ll be able to use my duplicate more often.”
Maybe being a humanitarian doctor wasn’t how it was going to be for you, it took another month for you to actually go and find a permanent job. Sakusa points out that you can take all the time out that you need but you don't want to lounge around and do nothing, you need a good distraction.
So you ended up working for a prestigious hospital as an ER doctor, for a moment, you forgot about Medaide with the help of your new job and your boyfriend.
You were happy.
The idea of staying in Tokyo didn’t actually seem like a bad idea now, you were going to bring it up to your parents and tell them that you wanted to stay here permanently with your boyfriend. They’d probably be happy, Sakusa Kiyoomi is a perfect man.
Until you come to the very sudden realization that he wasn’t.
Kiyoomi hated going out on long distance trips, he always wanted to be next to you or take you with him but this one was apparently too important to skip out so you greet him goodbye and wait for him to come home. Being the good partner you are, you decided to clean the house for your boyfriend. Kiyoomi was an incredibly clean person so you tried to keep your sloppiness to yourself when you moved in a few months ago.
Getting rid of the small dust here and there and throwing some unimportant things on the side, you prepare to throw out the collected garbage but ultimately freeze on your tracks when you find a ripped paper on the garbage dump.
Normally, you don’t do garbage dives.
Why would you?
Yet the name on top along with your boyfriend’s name caught your attention. It was Medaide’s logo, you grabbed the ripped piece of paper and started looking through the garbage dump, it did start to smell but curiosity always got the best of you.
Nervously biting your lower lip, you don’t find all the papers but you find one dated the same week you had broken the news to your boyfriend and the words, “Thank you for your donation and for sending us a group of more competent doctors for this batch.”
Your eyes narrowed as you stood there, shaking, the surge of panic and anxiety bubbling within you made the bile rose on your throat.
What was going on?
Was this really your perfect boyfriend?
Maybe it was all a big misunderstanding, why would your boyfriend do that? What would he even gain? You bite on your fingernails as you walk back and forth in front of the front desk, “Y/N-san?”
You jump on the spot.
“You alright there?” Shirabu Kenjiro asked, tilting his head to the side, “You’re not looking very good these days.”
“Y-Yeah…” You gulped, “J-Just thinking about some things.”
“Well, your shift is about to be over. Maybe you can go home earlier? ER’s pretty much dead right now.” Your fellow doctor shrugged, you turned around and let out a sigh, maybe you should request to go home earlier. You needed to rest. All this thinking was getting to your head that you had almost misdiagnosed a patient this afternoon.
“Hey Kenjiro-san.” you ask your workmate, “Can I ask you a question?”
“I have a friend.” You gulped down, “They’ve got this perfect relationship and he’s a super great guy...then-then they realize that he did something bad…”
Kenjiro looks up from his paperwork and shoots you his usual upturned brow, “Can you specify what he did?”
“He got in the way of their dreams.”
Kenjiro is silent for a moment as if he was thinking of something deep, “Well if I were that person, I’d leave him. What kind of asshat doesn’t support their partner’s dreams?” he asked, placing his hands on his hips, “Tell your friend that they deserve better and not some asshat who is holding them back.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, he had a very good point, “Yeah, that’s right.”
Kenjiro had a good point there, maybe confronting Sakusa would be a wise choice but as of right now you decided against it, you needed to gather the courage to actually talk to him about it. The thing that scared you the most was how much you loved and trusted the guy too much.
He went through such lengths to get you to stay around, who knows what else he could’ve done?
You shake your head, you were being paranoid yet at the same time you couldn’t help it. Your anxiety towards the situation wasn’t helpful at all and it was spiking up and down.
On your way home, you decided to pass by a local pharmacy because your head hadn’t been feeling very well, “Do you have any pain killers?” you weakly asked the man on the front counter, after giving you your medication, you also decided to buy some extra vitamins because you recalled almost running out of them.
“Oh, we ran out of that brand yesterday.” The pharmacist replied, scrunching his brow in wonder, “Would you like another one? It’s not a generic brand but it’s pretty much the same.”
“Yeah, that’ll do too.” You nodded, after paying for your purchase, you headed home. Fixing up your medicine in your cabinet, you freeze mid-action when you notice how familiar the vitamin looked. Shakily raising your hand to grab your birth-control pills in the medicine cabinet, you almost topple down when you pop it open next to the vitamin you bought.
It was the same.
It was exactly the same.
Before you knew it you were vomiting in the basin, your headache was worsening and the shaking wouldn’t stop.
The idea of the perfect boyfriend was completely erased in your head.
You didn’t look well these past few days, Kiyoomi noticed it because you didn’t even dared to hide it anymore, you wanted to leave him. Not only did he get in the way of whatever you worked hard for but he was trying to get you pregnant without your consent.
You felt utterly disgusted.
You sat at the tub, completely drained from all the events that transpired this past two weeks. The three year perfect streak that he tried to maintain was reduced to nothing but shambles. You wanted to blame yourself for being too stupid and caught up in this sham, your boyfriend was messed up, you wanted to get away but how?
You inwardly sighed, you were stupid. Too stupidly in love and intoo deep the rabbit hole that you hadn't even noticed.
Your gaze snapped to find him standing there with an expensive bouquet of flowers, you try to let out a weak smile, “Hey.”
“You’re not looking well.” He commented, placing the flowers on the side as he approached your naked figure on the tub, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” you nodded, “Just work.”
“I told you not to overstrain yourself.” He mumbled, bending down to your level, “You might get sick.”
You wanted to cringe away in disgust as he kissed your bare shoulders but you maintained yourself, “It’s fine.” You softly said, “I just have to do my best. I still want to try out for humanitarian work if I get a good recommendation from the hospital.”
You notice the quick shift of expression in his eyes, making you tighten your lips, so there it was.
“Again? I thought-”
“It’s my dream.” You began, trying to give him a smile, maybe, just maybe you can let him see through it, “You know how much I want this.”
“Maybe it’s not meant for you.”
Sakusa Kiyoomi’s eyes widen at the new reaction, your smile turning to a grimace. Over the course of your relationship, you had never been this angry, “Y/N, you know that’s not-”
“Get out.” You shakily say.
“I said, Get out, Sakusa.” You yell again, eyes seeing red, the bastard had the audacity to keep pulling you back and doing these things to you. You were downright disgusted at him and everything he was doing, what more would you find? The mere fact that he destroyed your dreams and switched out your birth control had you on edge at the moment and you didn’t want to try to find out anymore, you probably wouldn’t be able to handle it.
He lets out a sigh, “You don’t have to leave the room. I’ll go sleep on the couch.”
You watch him leave and close the bathroom door yet his eyes don’t fool you anymore.
You didn’t feel safe here.
You needed to get out.
Sakusa Kiyoomi is no fool towards your shift of attitude, he knows something is up when you snap at him when you were usually the calmer one (yes, you may be a bundle of energy and spitfire but you were relatively calm in the most part) so he calls the head of your hospital and sits him down, the head is shaking and on his knees, begging him to spare his life and his job for he did not know that you were overworked at all in your department.
“...I watch over her, sir…” the chief shakily exclaimed, “I always do…”
“So, you’re telling me… that my Y/N is a liar?”
The chief immediately freezes up on the spot, “Good lord, of course not! Doctor Y/N would never-”
“What would it be?”
“Your hands or your life?”
The man immediately cries out, begging him for mercy for he was innocent but Sakusa didn’t care.
He didn’t care at all.
Yes, Sakusa Kiyoomi would do anything for you. If someone were to make you sad, tired, weary, or any negative emotion, he’d strike them down, just like how he paid your friends to stay away, just like how he had subtly shifted your parents work conditions that prevented them from returning to you.
You were his and his only.
No one could get in your ways.
“My name is Doctor Sato, I’ll be your new chief...”
You stare at the new head of the hospital blankly, apparently the previous chief, Doctor Yamomoto, had to retire due to some matters with his family. It was a shame, you really liked him since he was awfully nice to you and everyone in the ward, “...L/N-san?” the older man calls out as soon as the meeting was over.
Your gaze snapped towards him as he tilted his head slightly, you’re completely bewildered by the sudden attention from your new boss, “Are your working conditions alright?”
“If you have any problem, “ his tight lip turns into a big smile as he places his hand on your shoulder, “Please don’t hesitate to ask.”
You blink at his uncharacteristic request and immediately move back to get away from his grasp, a rather uncomfortable smile made its way to your lips as you nodded, “I’ll take note of that, Chief.”
Thankfully nothing odd happened anymore after the day ended and as you patched up your things, getting ready to go home, you find your one and only boyfriend standing there with another bouquet of flowers in his hands. The sense of familiar dread sinked in once again.
How would you end this all?
The perfect man was a liar and he got in the way but why couldn’t you end things with him quickly? Why couldn’t you cut him off? You were so angry at him yet at the same time you were so lost, where did it go wrong?
“Y/N…” He greets, “How was work?”
“It was fine.” You quietly replied, turning your gaze at the expensive bouquet on his hands once again. Ever since you guys fought, he had been buying you flowers and expensive things but you remained the same, you just didn’t know how to act anymore around him.
“How was your new chief?”
You immediately tense up, as far as you recalled you had only met the chief today and no one knew about this outside the hospital. How the hell did this bastard know?
Sakusa notices you’ve gone too quiet, “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Word travels fast, huh?” you blinked, regaining your composure quickly, something wasn’t right now, you knew that something went deeper than that little Medaide charade he did and switching your pills to get you pregnant, “He’s alright and please stop buying me stuff, didn’t I tell you that we were fine already?”
You sighed and leaned in closer, pulling down his mask so that you could give him a peck on his lips. Inside, you felt disgusted but this was the only way now, “Stop acting all cringey and lovey-dovey. I forgive you. Let’s not fight again.” You consoled the tall man.
You notice how soft his eyes became.
Yes, two can play a game.
From stopping you from moving to trying to get you pregnant, it was those things that made you come towards a conclusion that Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t wanted you to leave his side. The man probably wouldn’t stop at anything, if he was willing to go to such lengths, what more could he do? You let out a tight smile as your boyfriend kisses your temple.
You needed to find a way and quick because the Sakusa Kiyoomi you thought you knew for the past three years was nothing like the Sakusa Kiyoomi in front of you.
taglist [send me an ask if you want to be tagged for the last chapter and as always if i forget to tag, just send me an ask]
@maraudusk ;; @iamnotobsessed ;; @ssuna ;; @weebartistinc ;; @aomineavenue ;; @tsukkismamagucci ;; @onlyshinji ;; @ichiraku-verse ;; @watevermelon ;; @victoriasee ;; @caramelcandescence ;; @n-nara ;; @bloody-bella ;; @ricefarmerkita ;; @paripedia ;; @srhlsx ;; @craftyfawns ;; @kepchups ;; @soggycardboardd ;; @vinnieluv ;; @dinablossom
[can’t tag you guys uwu just make sure ur tags are open :<]
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Fool’s Rush In
Book: The Royal Romance
Pairing: Liam x MC
Warnings: mild violence
Series Premise: With two weeks until Liam is to marry Madeleine – his pick during the social season – the guys throw him a bachelor party in Vegas. After a drunken night, he finds himself with more than he bargained for.
Thanks @burnsoslow for the beta read.
Supposedly, the more a person suffered in the name of love, the more it showed they really cared.
At least, that's what Riley thought.
After nightfall of this particular evening -- when she least expected it -- she never realized how much truth that belief held.
Or how much it would hurt to sacrifice the one person who made her believe she was worthy of love and saw who she really was on the inside.
Her dainty arm -- a delicate bronze in color, sleek, with a glittering red strap across one shoulder -- linked through the arm of the man she had grown to love more than life itself as they entered the palace ballroom. Working tirelessly over the last week to ensure everything went off without a hitch had taken its toll on her. All she could think about, as she shook hands and charmed dignitaries with a sparkle in those twinkling brown eyes, was how much sleep she planned to make up for after the ball ended.
This ball was to introduce the King and his new bride to the Cordonian court for the first time. A show of solidarity and, hopefully, strength. A way to establish that what happened in a tiny chapel 10,000 miles away weeks ago between two strangers wasn't a careless mistake, and that she could handle the duties bestowed on her as a common American woman.
Or at least pretend she could for now.
However, for the King and the "Jewel of His Heart" whom he escorted through the curious crowd of pretentious naysayers in extravagant gowns and tuxes, with their fake smiles and tedious posturing ...
It was nothing less than fate.
Riley was the key that unlocked that safe space deep inside Liam's heart that had been sheltered for so long, waiting for the perfect person to come along and open it. This was the place where he kept his most sacred feelings: a genuine love, never-ending laughter, joy, romance, ecstasy, and every dream he ever held for the future -- one he presumed would never exist in any form he longed for.
But she didn't just unlock it. Riley shattered it wide open, where everything came flooding out at once and consumed him like a raging wildfire.
And it was the most remarkable, intoxicating experience of his life.
Liam showed her off all evening as they mingled during their rounds, danced, and conversed with the variance of nobility. She was the sexiest woman in that room, and he'd dare say the looks of envy shot in his direction from high-class men as he proudly cavorted her around didn't bother him in the least. Not that that was her only quality -- far from it. There were so many things about Riley that were special. But he couldn't help feeling a sense of pride that she was all his.
And without question, he was all hers.
Seated at the head table, Riley swallowed a morsel of the veal medallion she wanted to be served for this occasion. When given a choice between fish and lamb, the fish never stood a chance. The memory of that smelly, god-awful lunch with Regina three weeks ago was not something her palate had forgiven her for yet. As wonderful and savory as this extravagant meal, covered in a light brown mushroom sauce and served with a side of broccoli rabe, was, it couldn't hold a candle to what she craved the most: a slice of white pizza from Carmine's back in Brooklyn.
Or a slab or two of the New Yorker.
With maybe some cheesecake.
Covered in chocolate.
And a sausage rice ball. A Frito pie smothered with sour cream. Definitely a rainbow bagel from The Bagel Store. Barbecue ribs and beans from the mom-and-pop diner hidden just off the strip in Vegas.
Of course, her grandma’s country fried steak with white gravy sounded delicious too.
For sure, a fried Twinkie like the one she ate at the New York State Fair in 2013.
"You've outdone yourself, sweetheart," Liam marveled while wiping at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "The meal was delicious, and our guests appear to be enjoying themselves." The others seated at the table looked up, adding their compliments.
Still dreaming about a fat slice of New York-style pizza, Riley smiled graciously back at him, until she noticed the server refilling Liam’s glass with merlot, causing her to do a double-take.
Hot tears pooled in her eyes, and a heavy feeling of sadness swelled in her chest as she panicked. "I asked for the Pinot Noir. Not the merlot,” she rasped meekly. “You don't like merlot, Liam. And the Pinot Noir was from the 'C' place where Duke Hakim lives. He'll be so disappointed and think I'm slighting his duchy. They’ll all hate me forever and ... wait a minute." She trailed off as a realization hit her, and Riley quickly glanced down at her plate before scanning each of the dishes from those seated around her.
The anxiety intensified; she could no longer suppress the heartbroken sob that wailed out of her. "Where are all the potatoes? We were supposed to have the potatoes, Liam. They didn’t serve the potatoes. Now the whole night is completely ruined, and it’s all my fault. I'm such a failure as a queen, and you should just send me to the dungeon now and throw away the key. I apologize to all of you for my incompetence and the lack of potatoes with your meal." Riley’s red-hot face, full of tears, plunged into the palms of her hands, then quickly sprung back up as Liam hesitantly tried to place a hand on her shoulder. A strong urge to use the restroom ended her crying spell as if it never happened. “Oh, oh. I gotta pee so bad. I’ll be right back.” She gave a warm smile and excused herself as she pushed her chair back and scurried merrily toward the nearest restroom.
Liam, Regina, Leo, Maxwell, and Olivia watched with confusion as she happily took off, not knowing what to say or what to make of the sudden shift in her moods.
“What the hell was that?” Olivia scowled, her eyes fixed on Liam.
“Is she all right, dear?” a concerned Regina asked.
Liam scratched the back of his head, nearly at a loss for words. “I ... I don’t know. I’ve never seen her that upset … especially over potatoes.” He paused in thought. “She was a little on edge this morning. Still, she’s been working a lot on the preparations and everything else going on. It must have gotten to her.”
Maxwell shrugged. “Maybe she just finally snapped.”
Leo shook his head, swallowing a forkful of beef. “Or maybe she has the premenstrual syndrome.”
“Leo!” The group admonished.
“What?” Leo bit back, taking in each of their disappointed glares. “Don’t act like it’s not true. Trust me, when I have cramps and bloating, I can go from a happy little Leo to a Bertrand, just like that.” He snapped his fingers, following it up with a frown. “It ain’t pretty, you all.”
Maxwell looked across the table at Liam and agreed, “He has a point.”
Wanting to shed his skin and slither away, Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we not discuss something so personal and private, especially while several hundred people are dining around us?”
“I’m just saying, little brother, that you need to be understanding and gentle during this special time of your wife’s 'lady business.' You should speak softly and slowly to her because Shark Week messes with a girl's mind, man. Their brains short-circuit, and there’s nothing left up there but a couple of crickets and man-eating rattlesnakes. One second, you think she’s fine, but if you’re not careful, in the next second, you’ll find yourself with two venomous fangs rattling from your nut sack, dude. She will tear you apart and spit you out like a rabid dog. You can make it through these next few days, but only if you take my advice.”
“That is the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Olivia spat, boring her eyes into him. “And you’ve said a lot.” She turned to Liam, whose face was slightly pale and void of expression. “Don’t listen to his sexist drivel. Why you haven’t declared him insane yet is beyond me. You should have sent him away with that filthy hairball to Valtoria you had caged earlier.”
“IT WAS MONGO!” Leo erupted, causing the dishes on the table to clatter as he jumped to his feet and hovered over the redhead. Every head in the ballroom whipped around to see what was happening, and a deafening silence filled throughout. Even the orchestra stopped playing their classical tune.
A wide-eyed Regina smiled sheepishly as she glanced out at the quiet audience who were waiting to see what all the fuss was about. She thought fast before calling out, “We were just playing a little game of … 'It was Mongo.'” The former queen snatched Maxwell’s Sunset Rum punch from his hand, thrusting the drink up at her stepson, towering beside her, and instructed in a grandmotherly tone, “Be a good lad, Leo. You lost this round. It's time to chug-a-lug, my boy.” With his face burning, Liam slid down in his seat.
“Ooooo, I wanna go next.” Maxwell bounced excitedly while the guests resumed the festivities. "How do we play?"
“I think I want to go, too,” Liam replied, straightening back up before hurling his napkin on the table. “I’m going to go find Riley.”
Riley exited the ladies' room, clutch in hand and a fresh dab of clear gloss gleaming on her pink lips. She stopped walking just as the door closed behind her and smiled with a look of surprise at seeing Liam leaning against the opposite wall. "What are you doing out here?"
He pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between them and meeting her in the middle of the empty corridor. They wrapped their arms around each other, indulging in the warmth of their lovers' embrace. "Would you believe me if I told you I just missed you?" he answered, placing a tender kiss on her lips that skimmed lower to her jawline.
"I missed you, too," she moaned with each gentle pressure of his seductive lips, suckling and nibbling along the spot that trailed behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy. "But something tells me that's not the only reason you left the ballroom."
Their gazes met simultaneously. "Leo."
Riley chuckled softly. "Do I even want to know?"
Liam sighed, smoothing back a loose hair behind her ear. "You know my brother and his wonderful words of wisdom." There was no way in hell he would tell her what they really discussed after she left; he could only imagine her embarrassment. "Everyone was just a little worried about you, that's all."
"I didn't mean to scare everyone. I just wanted tonight to be perfect. Instead, so many things went wrong. I can only assume what the court thinks about me now." She lowered her gaze to the red carpeting where they stood. "I let you down."
"I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Riley, sweetheart, you can never let me down. Do you understand that?" Liam lifted her chin; her tentative eyes stared back at him for a moment before nodding. "Good. And just so you know, our guest are used to bombings, stabbings, kidnappings, shootings, and terror plots at most of my palace events --"
" -- I assure you, just the fact alone, that none of that took place tonight, and they're all going to leave here soon -- alive -- will be huge for them. Not having potatoes with the meal or the right wine was the least of their worries. They will consider this night a success. And a testament to their new queen. You should, too. I'm so very proud of you."
"I have so many questions about everything you just said."
Liam smiled, caressing Riley's petal-soft cheeks and lowering his head to kiss her again. "All in due time, my love.”
Riley let out a deep, drawn-out yawn she lightly covered with her palm before stretching and rolling her neck. A couple of weeks' worth of planning and endless decisions had left heavy tension in her shoulders and overwhelming exhaustion like nothing she'd felt before. None of it went unnoticed by Liam, who placed his hands on her shoulders and gingerly kneaded the taut muscles.
"What do you say about heading back to our quarters, taking off all of your clothes, and I'll be up soon to massage this gorgeous body from head to toe? And hopefully, when I'm through, you'll massage parts of me, too … with any part of your body that you'd like." His lips curved into an inviting smile.
"Mmm, that's tempting," she purred, rubbing her hands over his ample chest. "But I can't just leave. It's the Queen's Ball. Without me, it's just ... The Ball." She chuckled, despite herself.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little panties over the ball. Just go upstairs and take them off. I’ll handle everything down here. Then … “ He squatted down to her eye level. “ … I’ll handle you.”
Her heart fluttered every time Liam spoke to her that way. The way he desired only her. She bit the corner of her lip teasingly. “I love you so much.”
Liam smiled. “You better. You’ve got one hell of a husband. I’d even venture to say you’re the luckiest woman on the whole damn planet right now.” Before Riley could respond to his jest, he put both of his hands on her cheeks to hold her head still and began placing playful, wet smooches all over her face, causing her to laugh riotously. After a few seconds of her squirming around and cackling at his antics, he paused to look at her. “You know I love you, too. Now go on up. I’ll be right behind you soon.”
With a pat to her backside, they went their separate ways.
Liam returned to the ballroom, having offered to finish what little time was left without her. He would offer his apologies for her absence, but in reality, the King couldn’t have cared less what anyone there thought. Since his bachelor party weeks ago, he had grown from a man who had no choices to one who made his own. His marriage and relationship with Riley came first. Her wellbeing was the main priority -- to hell with anyone who had a problem with that.
As Riley placed a hand on the elegant wooden handrail of the grand staircase and took the first step up, her thoughts meandered to where she had been in her life one month ago and how vastly it had changed in such a short time. For the first time in years, she was happy, and it felt so good to be in that place where she could finally let go of the past and move on. Liam was a game-changer, and she was thoroughly convinced he was the only person on the planet who could have gotten her out of her own head and to this level of blissful existence.
Rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, she reached into her clutch to pull out the key card to her quarters, exhaustion slowing her strides. Shuffling past a row of closed office doors and framed artwork, she made her way to the residential wing.
The squeak of a door behind her and the click of heels drew her attention, causing her to stop and turn to see who was there.
The color drained from her face as Madeleine casually stepped out, her hands behind her back and a devious, unsettling grin cemented on her face.
It wasn't the fear that made Riley's heart pound with a sickening thud, but more shock than anything. No one had seen or spoken to the Countess since the confrontation in Las Vegas when she showed up unexpectedly after finding out Liam had married Riley the night prior.
Now, suddenly, there she was, as if out of nowhere, a gleam in her eye, looking all too pleased to have this run-in with Riley.
"A little dramatic, don't you think?" Riley scoffed, taking one step back the closer Madeleine approached. "What are you even doing here?"
"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're worried about," she answered contemptuously. Her green eyes drifted to one of the cameras mantled at each end of the hallway. Riley placed a shaky hand over her stomach, letting out a low, relieved breath, hoping that was the truth. "Not physically, anyway."
"Well, that sounds promising," Riley replied sardonically. "Now, if you don't mind ..." She turned away, wanting nothing more than to escape this conversation and make it back to her quarters.
Madeleine reached out and grabbed the Queen by her elbow, pulling her back and harshly twisting her around so they were now face-to-face. "You're not going anywhere until I'm through with you," she hissed with an icy glare. "I told you I would make you regret what you've done."
Riley jerked her arm, trying to free herself. "Let go of my arm, Madeleine!"
"Not until you hear what I have to say."
"I'm not interested in anything you have to say! Now LET ME GO!" Riley hoped someone heard her yell or at least witnessed what was happening on the camera. Where the hell is security?
While continuing to struggle to free herself, she reached up with her free hand in an attempt to pry off Madeleine's bony fingers that were squeezing tight grooves around her elbow, her manicured nails digging deeper into Riley's skin. "You're hurting me. I said to let me go."
"Very well, then." The woman, who had twice lost her chance at the crown, released her firm grasp, knowing that the momentum would cause Riley to stumble back as soon as she let go.
Just as predicted, Riley planted a foot behind her for leverage before drawing her arm back as hard as she could, one last time. Her eyes grew wide, and she let out a sharp gasp that sounded well down the corridor. Riley sailed backward, tripping over herself and toppling to the ground. She finally landed with a hard blow on her backside, the rear of her head just inches from slamming to the floor.
A shockwave of pain coursed up Riley's spine from hitting so abruptly. Before she had a chance to respond or process what happened, Madeleine crouched down beside her, holding a DVD up and gaining Riley's attention.
The pain had morphed into a throbbing ache that was soon forgotten as the Queen stared quizzically at the object displayed in front of her like a grand prize.
"What is that?" her voice trembled.
"It's my ace in the hole," Madeleine stated, then wagged a finger. "Someone used to be a very naughty girl."
Furrowing her brows, Riley responded. "I don't know what you mean."
"You know precisely what I mean, but just in case, please allow me to refresh your memory," Madeleine smirked before rising to her feet and prancing around as if she were having the time of her life. "I did a little digging after my brief visit to Las Vegas and came across a man who knew you very, very well at one time. I made some calls. We exchanged e-mails, a transfer of money or two. And he was all too eager to accept my offer of payment for any dirt he could give me on you."
There was no point in asking "who" -- she already knew; the thought made her nauseous. Riley closed her eyes and muttered. "Tyler?"
"Yes," Madeleine beamed, " Your ex-husband. He had a lot to say about you."
"I'm sure he did. Does it even matter to you that he's a liar and a cheat -- not to mention greedy? He would make up anything if he thought he could profit off of it."
"Oh, it matters. Personally, I don't believe a damn thing he had to say. Honestly, Riley ... even someone like you could have done better than that slime."
Riley cringed in pain as she pushed herself off the floor and turned to her oppressor. "Just get to the point, Madeleine. Clearly, he gave you something you thought was valuable enough to use against me, so just spit it already."
Madeleine smiled, "How very astute of you. You're correct. He did." She held up the disc as Riley regarded it suspiciously. "On this disk are several hours of the two of you ... together. Very graphic, if I do say so myself." Riley's jaw dropped upon hearing those words as Madeleine continued, "Now don't worry. I only watched it long enough to make sure the video was legit --"
"Give me that!" Riley reached out to snatch the DVD, but Madeleine pulled it away just out of her grasp. A burning sensation filled inside her chest and spread across her face. "You're lying. I never made videos like that."
"Oh, I think you did," the blonde countered with a mirthful tone. "You just didn't know about it. Your ex admitted as much to me ... an asshole move, for sure. But nonetheless, I purchased the copy from him for a hefty sum. And ... well ... here we are now. You're more than welcome to take this disc and see for yourself; I have it downloaded as a backup, knowing you'd want proof."
At that moment, all Riley wanted was for Liam to walk down that corridor where she now stood, pick her up in his arms, whisk her away to safety, and tell her it was all a bad dream. Not that she did anything wrong -- she was married at one time to the man, presumably on the video, and would have been a consenting adult.
No, it was the fact that Tyler Brooks had taken intimate videos with her during their marriage, without her knowledge. Now Madeleine had possession of them.
God only knew what she planned to do with them, but Riley had a pretty good idea. "What do you want?" she whispered in defeat, afraid to hear the answer.
Madeleine grinned from ear-to-ear. "For you to leave Cordonia tonight and never return, or I release everything to the press."
Riley shook her head. "No. As much as I don't want anyone to see that video, I did nothing wrong, and I won't be blackmailed or intimidated by you so that you can get your grubby little paws on the crown."
"Is that so?" It wasn't a question so much as a remark meant to convey who was in control.
Maintaining her position, Riley raised a brow, refusing to give in.
Madeleine was far from giving up, though; she had manipulation in her blood. "Very well, then. I'll release the video in the morning. It should be interesting to see how the world reacts to yet another scandal by this monarchy. Their Queen plastered all over the internet again, except this time, uploaded on every porn site on the web.
"The news will run the story with your blurred-out silhouette in the background. Your father will see it, and his business will become a target.: Your friends. Family. Students. They'll all be inundated with your sexual proclivities. But the worst part will be the tribunal. The council will have no choice but to question Liam's decision-making abilities after not only squandering his pick of queen on some American nobody, but now one whose ass will be featured on the desktops of teenage boys across the world. It's a shame that he'll lose his reign, all because of you. Would you really do that to Liam? Do you genuinely believe you're worth all the trouble it will cause him?"
Riley froze. She knew Madeleine was taunting her with the people she cared about the most. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass each of them. But to possibly cause Liam to lose his legacy, his birthright, and the rulership of a country he loved so much? It was something she couldn't shake.
Staring blankly, twisting the bands of gold that belonged to Liam's mother, she couldn't get the question Madeleine just asked out of her mind: Did Riley believe she was worth the trouble it would cost him?
Nothing was damning on that video, aside from the fact that she never knew it existed. But she already had so much to prove; another video in the press' hand would tarnish Liam. Maybe the Countess of Fydelia was right: He would lose it all.
"Time is ticking," Madeleine reminded Riley as she tapped her watch. "What's it going to be?"
@burnsoslow @dcbbw @ao719 @hopefulmoonobject @jessiembruno @texaskitten30 @janezillow @merridithsmiscellany-blog @mskaneko @callmeellabella @queenjilian @sirbeepsalot @drakexwillow @caroldxnvxrs @jovialyouthmusic @forthebrokenheartedthings @bebepac @kingliam2019 @lovablegranny @cordoniaqueensworld @amandablink @liamxs-world @choiceskatie @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie @charlotteg234 @annekebbphotography @txemrn @thecordoniandiaries @alyssalauren @cordonianroyalty @monsoonbloom12 @mom2000aggie @theroyalheirshadowhunter @princessleac1 @kimmiedoo5 @graceful-leah @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @thegreentwin @gkittylove99 @cinnamonspongecake @lifeaskim @neotericthemis @pink-diamond13 @walker7519 @natureblooms24 @yourmajesty09 @gabesmommie1130 @sweatyrysconnoisour @kat-tia801 @debmcg1106
Liam x MC: Cordonia-gothqueen
FRI Series Tags: @narrytheworld @queenwalton @cordonianprincess @zaffrenotes @zilch3 @drrookie @sfb123
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if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation
thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333
summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor
warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)
author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!
this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D
word count: 3,768
music: like a movie – b1a4
🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma
what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?
sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for
“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series
tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead￼ bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment
except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—
“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series
you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too
after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?
tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead
“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”
tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it
besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore
tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)
but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon
(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)
tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent
you: remember to tell him how much i love him!
tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?
you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!
tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?
tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...
that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)
“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?
tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another
a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!
jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine
when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room
“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”
tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this
there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week
nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up
last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle
(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)
even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”
“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly
“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene
tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?
tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)
“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped
“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”
jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age
“who do you like then?”
tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll
“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!
“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”
“is that what you do?”
jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over
when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you
when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product
“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”
filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you
(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)
tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person
“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”
you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show
throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene
in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun
(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)
at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)
when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)
“i love you, ten!”
tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart
“i love you, too.”
even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time
you looked like the star of the show
tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo
“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city
“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)
“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around
when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you
when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)
“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...
before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)
“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer
“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you
“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside
while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him
tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic
you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile
“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—
“your arm is still around me.”
silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!
“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence
when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy
jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face
“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two
“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk
“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career
“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)
when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together
jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”
tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already
“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row
“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”
“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”
“go sit down and eat already￼, jeez.”
when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...
tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t
yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode
especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri
what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach
was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)
were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?
before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile
“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri
later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact
“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar
your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...
when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too
when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression
what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared
you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place
“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)
that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date
“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”
“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”
you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed
“do that again.”
when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started
“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”
“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”
(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)
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You are Good for Me : Part 1 | Spencer Reid x Reader
Warning : Light Smut
Word Count : 2,772
A/N : So I’m going to try to keep the storyline similar to the first season of YOU but I’ll definitely change up some of the characters and maybe give it a unique backstory. This is my attempt at Stalker Spencer a.k.a Spencer as Joe Goldberg from YOU. I’m kind of just going to run with it. I may keep this a certain amount of parts. Three to four at the max.
Italic - Spencer Voice over
Bold : Text Message
Bold Italic : Reader Voice Over
It was a new apartment, a new town, a new life. You had been adjusting over the last six months and you were doing pretty well. You had surrounded yourself with a group of people but you never felt like a part of the group. Sure they invited you out to do things but partying nightly isn’t something you liked. Yet you were there, everynight they invited you. You were no longer in college, you had dropped out due to your financial aid falling through and you worked in a local department store. Every aspect of your life was miserable but social media claimed otherwise. You always showed your smile even though it pained you to do so and you shared memes to hide your sadness. From the outside in, it looked like you were happy.
There was a guy, he wasn’t boyfriend material but he was fine for a hookup. It was scheduled, so you’d clock out and swing by his place and then head home and for you that was enough. You had grown accustomed to this life in just six months but then something happened.
You were passionate about writing, you mostly wrote fiction because it allowed you to dive into a fantasy world where you could make life actually make sense. So naturally you loved to read and there was a bookstore you passed every day and finally you decided to go in. You began grazing the fiction section and scoffed at most of them. Things like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey sold out so much. It honestly amazed you how much people put themselves into these types of fantasy. The books were just so cliche. Maybe you just hated romance novels but you loved horror fiction.
She’s beautiful, she’s amazing. She’s walked by everyday for the last six months and she’s finally come inside. Spencer had noticed you, he had watched you and now you were in his store. Who are you, mystery girl? You’ve disliked those books which I don’t blame you for, they suck. You like horror.
Your fingers brushed over a book, you’ve read it multiple times but you just loved horror and this was a traditional Gothic novel, The Woman in Black. You were trying to build a book collection as most of your life you just checked them out at a library but since you were finally adulting in life you were looking into making purchases.
“Find something you like?” You turned to see a tall, lanky boy behind you. Well not so much a boy. You actually couldn’t figure out his age just by looking at him, he was at least in his late twenties early thirties.
“Uh yeah.” You pointed to the book in hand and his face showed it all.
“You like horror? You seem so-” Seemed so what? You couldn’t get mad at him making assumptions considering you were already making assumptions about him.
“I seem so what?” You questioned, trying to refrain from smiling because well he was cute and you were pretty sure he was about to say you looked innocent.
“You just don’t look like someone who would be into horror. Perhaps I misjudged you. You know one of my favorite authors is Edgar Allen Poe.” God she is so beautiful, why won’t she smile at me? I can see that she’s fighting it.
“Oh I love Edgar.” How was he so cute? No. No, (Y/N). You cannot do this. He’s just the hot bookstore guy that you’ll probably never see again.
Love. I want to think we could have that, but I don’t know you. I don’t know if you will hurt me, like her.
“So will this be all for you?” Please keep looking. I need more time with you, I need to know you.
Wow, he’s rushing me out pretty quickly. I mean of course, I’m just another customer. “Uh yeah, for today that will be all.” Okay, you’ve hinted that you’ll return.
“Well I’ll keep an eye out for you then.” By now the two of you had reached the register and you reached into your wallet and grabbed your card, extending it out to him.
You want me to know your name don’t you? I can see it now. You could have set your card down but no, you wanted me to take it from your hand. He swiped your card and handed it back to you and oh he had such a pretty smile. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N, such a pretty name.
“Well I hope you enjoy your book.” He flashed you a smile one last time before you turned and exited the bookstore.
*Incoming text - from : Josie*
Hey where are you? Me and Xander are waiting for you.
Your fingers rushed to type out a response. -Shit sorry, I’m on my way. BTW met a hottie at the bookstore.
*Incoming text - from : Josie*
OOO, I want details. Have you told Jocelyn? She won’t like another person stealing her light.
You scoffed at the text from Josie. It was safe to say some of your friends didn’t get along. Xander and Josie had become two close friends of yours but sometimes you felt like you didn’t fit. It was only because they were so different, they had lived in Nevada all their life and knew each other well and you had just moved here and met them at a bar one night by chance.
However with Jocelyn, she disliked them. She hated when you chose them over her. She’s the whole reason you moved here. She even footed the bill for the move. You and Jocelyn were childhood friends and as you grew older she saw how much you hated the hometown the two of you shared. She just wanted to see you happy and her parents were rich enough to make sure she got whatever she wanted. So they paid for you and her to move to Nevada. However things became rocky when you began to live on campus. She was upset and you fought for a while and once you were no longer able to attend you were homeless.
At the time, Jocelyn had still been bitter. She refused to speak to you after you chose schooling over her and luckily by this point you had met Xander and Josie. So they helped you back on your feet and never asked for anything in return. But Jocelyn hated them for ‘ruining’ you and they disliked her for trying to control you. Your friendship was still rocky but you were trying to be a better friend to her. Maybe she was right, you had changed since you were here. She also didn’t like your man friend, Dustin whom she thought was using you for sex.
-She’s not the wicked witch of the west Josie, she just misses me and her hanging out.
*Incoming text - from : Josie*
Whatevs, are you coming or not?
- Yeah, I’m on my way.
You were headed out for drinks with your friends. Mind you, sometimes you felt out of place with them but drunk you had the time of your life with them and that was the basis of your friendship. That and sometimes they could be just as weird as you. You and them had the same interest in music and everything. It was almost like the three of you were siblings. However an hour into drinks with them and Jocelyn was blowing up your phone.
*incoming text - from : Jocelyn*
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, you there (Y/N)?
- Out with Xander and Josie.
- I’m not ignoring you, the phone somehow got on Silent.
Bullshit. You know good and well your phone didn’t ‘accidently’ go on silent. You were avoiding her.
*incoming text - from : Jocelyn*
Oh. I’d join you but you know I don’t like big crowds.
- Yes, I know.
Ditch them and come hang with me.. I’ll buy dinner.
- I can’t ditch them, I told you. We’ll hang tomorrow. BTW, I met a hot guy at the bookstore today.
Please. He works at a bookstore, how hot could he be?
- Wow J. I gotta go. Drinks are calling. Xo
You sighed as you locked your phone and slid it back into your pocket. Josie and Xander could tell what was bothering you and just offered you another drink. You took it, you just needed to disappear for a while.
You can handle your alcohol. Perhaps you learned that in college. Oh yes (Y/N), I’ve done my research on you this evening. See (Y/N), as soon as you stepped foot out of my bookstore I looked into you. I found your facebook, which contained mostly what the newest generation calls memes. Some of those were truly dark (Y/N), you keep surprising me. Your instagram has mostly old photos, looks like here recently you’ve tried to post more but you genuinely hate your appearance which is a shame because you are so beautiful, (Y/N) and you don’t even know it.
Despite the awkwardness you display around them, you really do enjoy their company. Which means their opinion of me will be important to you. I did minimal research on the top three friends I see interacting with you the most. The two sitting with you are Xander and Josie. I see them a lot in your photos from your instagram. Well the few you have taken with them in them. You do have one other friend, who’s not here. Jocelyn. She’s always tagging you in inspiring things but you never acknowledge them. I wonder why?
And yes (Y/N), I’m taking photos of you but only to have a physical copy of the beauty I see before me. I have an eidetic memory, so I’ll never forget every inch of you but true beauty needs to be captured.
You didn’t even bother to reply. That was maybe one thing Jocelyn was right about. You wished you could text hot bookstore guy but you had been to chicken to ask for his number. You sighed as you looked around. It was late, you were tired. “Hey guys I think I’m going to catch a train home.”
“Bye.” Xander and Josie said almost simultaneously. You gave them a gentle wage and kept going.
You lived across town and the cheapest option was the train. You stumbled down to the subway and leaned against one of the beams. Trying to read and respond to Jocelyn's text.
What are you doing down here all alone and drunk? You’re so into horror books yet you are opening yourself up to the real dangers of the world.
You went to type but your phone slipped and drunk you tried to clutch for it and stumbled onto the tracks.
Oh no (Y/N), see this is the kind of danger you need someone to protect you from.
Suddenly a figure was hovering over the tracks with his hand out to you. “Grab my hand.”
You quickly gripped your phone and allowed him to pull you from the tracks. You were in shock as you clutched to his tall lanky frame. Suddenly you felt ill and was luckily able to turn quickly to puke.
“Hey, hey are you okay?” Please be okay.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Hey you look familiar.” You stepped closer, almost invading his personal space trying to get your drunk eyes to see him clearly.
You recognized me. Okay I have to bluff. “I have a familiar looking face is all.”
“No. You’re that guy, from the bookstore. Spencer right?” Now it was up to whether he remembered her, but of course he did.
“Yeah and you are the girl that bought the woman in black. (Y/N) right? ” And you are perfect. Just perfect. Well you are for now, I hope there won’t be any surprises.
He remembered and that meant something to you. “You remember my name?” You didn’t even remember giving it to him.
“I have an eidetic memory and you did pay with a card. Let me help you home.” Spencer offered, hoping he didn’t sound too forward with it but it would give him a chance to get to learn more about you.
What a gentleman. “Yeah, that would be great.” You were happy in this moment, it was the best thing to happen to you since you had been here.
The two of you began to walk together and he signaled for a cab. The drive itself contained awkward silence, neither of you knew what to say to the other until the cab reached your apartment building.
“Hey, thanks for saving my life tonight.” You murmured, wanting a few more moments with him.
“Anytime.” I mean that too. I will always be here to protect you.
“Oh shoot. I must have lost my phone in the tracks.” You realized it when reaching into your bag for your keys.
“And I was just about to ask you for your number.” Spencer had noticed it in the seat and shoved it in his pocket. Not his proudest moment but this was the key to knowing more about you and making sure you were the right one for him.
“Okay well just email me.” You grabbed an old receipt from your bag and wrote your e-mail on the back and handed it to him.
Spencer smiled as he took the paper from your hands, the tips of his fingers brushing against yours. His smile suddenly disappeared when a male figure approached the cab.
You wondered why his smile had faded but as you turned you saw why, yours faded too as Dustin opened the door for you.
“Hey babe.” He smiled, not even paying attention to Spencer.
“Dustin, this is Spencer. He saved my life tonight.” You said trying to make him acknowledge something other than himself for once.
“Oh, hey thanks man.” He said as he leaned down to look in the cab. “Hey can we hurry? I got somewhere to be.”
You looked down, avoiding Spencer’s eyes which were locked on you and your body language.
You don’t really like him. So why are you tolerating this asshole?“
Yeah, sure.” You grabbed your bag and turned to look at Spencer to give him a small smile before exiting the cab.
Spencer waved and allowed the cab to drop him off a few blocks from your place before walking back and watching you from across the street. He hated seeing you with him.
Well, this is unpleasant. I’d rather that be me between your legs right now. I deserve it more than him. I mean come on (Y/N), you aren’t actually into him. What are you doing?
Your experience with Dustin was the same as every other time. He was a self pleaser. Granted he was able to make your body react how it was supposed to, he couldn’t quite get an actual orgasm from you but in his mind he had rocked your world.
“Alright, I gotta go.” He said as he tugged his clothes back on. He was out the door before you could even talk to him.
You had wanted to end this and had for a while but had made no effort. Now you had motivation, you had Spencer who seemed like everything you had ever dreamed of.
Dustin's exit left you to go grab what you referred to as ‘ol faithful’. It was a bullet vibrator that managed to get you off more than any guy ever had.
Of course you are using a toy. He doesn’t even please you right. Seriously (Y/N), what do you see in him?
You settled into position on your couch and slipped your hand between your thighs, touching the bullet to your clit. You turned it on and within a few seconds you were already feeling your legs shaking.
Across the street Spencer had the perfect view. He himself slipped his hands down his pants and began gently stroking himself. His eyes locked onto you as he watched you reach your climax and just as he was about to reach his, he heard the door to the building he was close to open and quickly withdrew his hand from his pants.
Fuck that was...close. Until next time (Y/N).
266 notes · View notes
Chuck Fic Rec List: Updated
So my fic rec post was in my notifs again the other day, and I noticed a while back that the formatting on the post has gotten all messed up and it’s also had like three reblog additions to it anyway meaning there are three versions out there lol. so, I wanted to do another list of chuck fic recs! I’ll keep the other one up still, so I’m not gonna repeat every fic here, just some I really recommend. I’m also adding the fic summaries, which I didn’t on the old post, and some more of my own opinions so, buckle up for a long post!
Chuck Versus the Steampunk Chronicles | Steampunk.Chuckster
1896. A world powered by steam, where humans and machines coexist, and airships are the fashionable mode of transport. The US Empire's deepest and darkest secrets arrive at Chuck Bartowski's doorstep. Have they fallen into the wrong hands? Or will the inventor prove his mettle, even while he's forced to hide from the very people he's protecting? AU, ongoing chronicle, Charah.
A genuinely incredible AU story, with an entire crafted world and universe, so detailed it frequently blows my mind. There is heart and family and infuriatingly brilliant slow-burn, plus a buttload of danger and super fun historical/steampunk action. Oh how I LOVE it.
Chuck vs the Charade | somedeepmystery
When computer nerd Chuck Bartowski returns home to an empty apartment and a dead girlfriend he finds himself embroiled in a deadly game of espionage and deceit. Everyone around him is playing a part to get what they want and when he starts falling for the new woman in his life, he can't help but wonder if he can trust her or if she's the one he should fear the most.
An action and twist-filled AU based on the movie Charade, which is just such a brilliant fic concept I absolutely adored it from the start.
Two Sides of the Same Coin | dettiot
When you're a spy, there's all kinds of occupational hazards when you work with another spy. For Sarah Walker, though, one mission becomes a life-changing experience. Because working with Charles Carmichael leads to protecting Chuck Bartowski.
The first time I read this fic my mind was just blown to its genius. Such a brilliant interpretation of what the Intersect and its concepts set up in the show could be, and ooooof the Chuck/Sarah interactions, my HEART. Related to it, its companion piece:
A Flip of the Coin | dettiot
What made Charles Carmichael agree to become Chuck Bartowski? Well, to start, it wasn't as much of a change as you'd think. A companion to the early chapters of Two Sides of the Same Coin from Carmichael's perspective.
Chuck vs The Butterfly Effect | n7agentbartowski
Chuck Bartowski is a normal guy who just hit rock bottom. No girlfriend, no career and no super computer stuck inside his head. It isn't until Chuck meets a gorgeous stranger on the beach that he begins to think his life is about to change for the better. An AU Chuck fic without the Intersect. "Change one thing and it changes everything."
I said it on the OG post, but this story has one of my top 5 Chuck/Sarah fic meetings. So funny, so... very Chuck. The story is a little angsty overall, but a great read.
Chuck vs the Rogue Spy | Crumby
When a rogue spy from Chuck Bartowski's past shows up to help him during his first solo mission, Chuck hopes that he'll finally find out what happened to Sarah Walker. Post-S2 AU.
There’s a lot of Season 3 fix-it fics out there, which I don’t usually read bc I actually love season 3 lol, but this one’s a good one! A twisty deviation from canon, but still feels really true to character.
Chuck Versus the Nerds Rewrite | Steampunk.Chuckster and David Carner
What happens when two nerds talk endless hours about their favorite TV show? A new take on the show you know, but with the flair, twists, and turns you've come to expect from Steampunk . Chuckster and david . carner. Somewhat canon. Charah.
As the summary says, a different take on the show, which honestly makes a couple changes I would too, but also adds a bunch of fun twists and plots that make it totally new and fresh. Seeing Chuck and Sarah’s thoughts in the more canon sections is just delicious, too.
The Trapped Assassin | SarahsSupplyCloset
After a mission goes awry, the CIA's most lethal assassin is ordered to take vacation while her superiors figure out what to do with her. But when she meets a disarming tourist, their immediate connection only adds to her disillusionment with the agency and her career. Will he be enough for her to finally take the plunge and leave the only life she's ever known? Charah AU
A warning for the very justified M rating if you don’t like that sort of thing, but this is definitely a plot-heavy fic, too. A really neat Sarah-heavy AU, with a whole lotta Chuck/Sarah fancy French vacationy goodness.
Chuck vs the Second Chance | malamoo
AU from mid-season 2 and onwards. Chuck and Sarah part ways only to be reunited years later. COMPLETE.
Literal, crying-at-my-screen angst. Not even a super happy ending. But a brilliantly written, part-reflective/flashback fic, exploring what would’ve happened if Chuck and Sarah’s relationship really was an assignment all along-- and the aftermath. It’s heartbreaking. But if you want a little heartbreak, this is your fic.
Ready at Your Hand | dettiot
In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, a Catholic plot against the queen comes to the attention of spymaster Sir Francis Walsingham. To protect Elizabeth, he develops an unusual plan: hide the passing of intelligence between two agents by a false romance. When Lady Sarah Walker and Chuck Carmichael meet, though, their pretend flirtation becomes much more.
I love Chuck fic for the very reason that it’s inspired such adventurous and totally unique AUs. Here’s some Elizabethan fake-dating Chuck and Sarah! They have to be so Proper, it’s like that hand moment from Pride and Prejudice but Elizabethan and times a billion. The pining!!
Sarah Versus Getting Married | Steampunk.Chuckster
Sarah Walker is getting married. Canon. Charah.
I’d recommend all of SC’s fics if I had the room, and I’m already recommending a ton sksks but most of my fic recs are AUs, and this one isn’t! It’s canon, and covers some of in the gap in 4x24, with Sarah just before the wedding itself. Super sweet, heart-tugging, brilliant.
A Chuckmas Carol | Mikki13
A new twist to Dickens' beloved "A Christmas Carol". When Sarah begins to shut out the world around her, three spirits come to show her the error of her ways. Season 3 AU.
Another Season 3 AU, this one written pre-series so it definitely doesn’t fit to canon, but it’s still wonderfully rich in character depth and angst and it also made me cry. Plus, festive!
Chuck Versus Thin Ice | Steampunk.Chuckster
On the doorstep of the Olympics, top American curler Sarah Walker has lost her mixed doubles partner and her boyfriend in one fell swoop. Her coaches throw newbie Team U.S.A. curler Chuck Bartowski onto her team and thrust them into the Olympics, hanging America's curling hopes on two people who only have a short amount of time to learn to trust one another. Charah AU.
Do you like curling? Or the Winter Olympics? It doesn’t really matter because somehow this fic made me extremely invested in both of those things, as well as Chuck and Sarah and them being INSUFFERABLE. Catch me now knowing a ton about curling thanks to this fic.
Walker’s Eleven | Moonlight Pilot
Not the same plot as the movie. Sarah Walker never got out of the con game or became a spy, and now she's on her final con. What happens when true love and betrayal get added to the mix? Twists, turns, and Jeffster!
Con!Sarah always interests me, and this fic is full of her. Lotta con plot, lotta Chuck and Sarah.
The Detective and the Tech Guy | thecharleses
Sarah Walker is a Pinkerton detective. Chuck Bartowski is an electronics genius. They wouldn't have met except for a case of mistaken identity and murder. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man film series. Formerly co-written by Steampunk . Chuckster and dettiot, now ONLY Steampunk . Chuckster.
Everyone in this fic is so damn cool. There are so many martinis. But also great heart and family and like, standing up for who you love, and later also Chuck with Baby Clara content which frankly the show robbed us of. Also, PI!Sarah!!!
Gravity | Poetic4U
AU. Sarah makes a decision that altered her life forever.
This is just a one-shot, which many of these stories are not, so a good one if you don’t fancy a big read! Just because it’s short, though, doesn’t mean it’s lacking; a really awesome what-if AU, and heavy on the Chuck and Sarah.
A Yuletie Tale | Steampunk.Chuckster
Sarah Walker was dumped the day before Christmas Eve, and her Plus One at her work’s annual Christmas Eve Soiree is now officially a Plus Zero. Her best friend Ellie Bartowski has a solution to her problem, and Sarah finds she isn’t quite as sure about it as Ellie is. AU Christmas Charah.
I’m particularly in love with this fic because, instead of beginning with a meet-cute, it involves Chuck and Sarah already two years into a friendship-- Sarah is Ellie’s best friend. And she’s been crushing harrrd on Ellie’s brother. Also Chuck is in a tux. It’s pretty.
Set, Spike, Dive! | Frea O’Scanlin
Chuck never expected to even make it to the Olympics. Everything is working against him: he's too tall for a diver, too inexperienced for a medal, too much of a wildcard to really make his mark. But an unexpected meeting at the airport, some intriguing new friends, and a whirlwind romance on the sand just might set up London 2012 as the time of Chuck Bartowski's life.
A London 2012 AU, because why not. This is just a fun Olympic-y ride!
OTP (One True Pairing) Prompts | David Carner
A series of Prompts I found online about different times and places in Chuck and Sarah's life. Mostly AU, mostly one-shots. I assume mostly fluff, but I might get deep. I doubt it, it's me. Charah...ALWAYS (It says complete, but if an idea strikes me...)
If you’re not so into long stories, this fic is perfect. Individual set-ups and stories, all Chuck and Sarah, and all super cute. You could dip in and out and just pick a scenario you enjoy.
Chuck vs The Frontier | ninjaVanish
AU: Chuck was enjoying a simple life as a 19th century watchmaker until an encounter with a beautiful Secret Service agent thrust him into a world of intrigue and adventure he never wanted. But then, with Agent Walker around, it can't be all bad, can it?
This fic gets props for being historically-set but still including the Intersect. Again, a historical AU, so the pining!! the need to be Proper!!! But besides all that, there’s a lot of action fun as well.
Chuck Versus The Crosswalk: Remastered | WvonB
Will a last minute mission help our two favorite characters finally get together? This is the remastered version of my first story.
The original version of this fic is on my first list; this is the updated version! It’s not a complete AU, instead a story that diverges from canon, so if you’re more into canon characters and setting than a new AU scenario, this is a great fic for that.
Little Girls, Paper Wreaths, and Choc Chip Cookies | DanaPAH
Very AU: Sarah Walker is a single mother whose Christmas spirit needs a boost after a tough divorce. She isn't quite ready to go looking for romance, but her little daughter's affection for their new neighbor may lure it right to her doorstep, anyway.
An incredibly sweet AU one-shot where Chuck and Sarah are new neighbours, and Sarah has a super cute little girl. So much sweetness and love and hope. I love this fic so much it literally led me to write my own neighbour-kid-AU, so, not to toot my own horn but I’ll link it here anyway.
May Your Walls Know Joy | halfachance
Looking for a fresh start after some tough times, Sarah and her three-year-old daughter move to LA. When they meet a sweet curly-haired nerd who lives next door, though, Sarah realizes they might just find more happiness than they'd ever imagined, if only her past doesn't catch up to her first. AU.
It’s what the summary says; if you wanna read, feel free!
Chuck vs the Sound of Music | quistie64
AU. Chuck, nerd extraordinaire, is a man with seven children and Sarah must protect them all from Fulcrum's evil designs. Warning: there will be singing.
I mean. Not much mystery as to the concept with that title and summary lol, but this is a super fun, soft ride with a lotta sweetness, and yes, singing.
Just Two People | David Carner
Meet Sarah Walker PhD, Psychologist, specializing in personality traits. Meet Chuck Bartowski, man who has left THE electronic company of 2020. When Burton Consultants tries to figure out what is wrong with the morale of Orion Industries, what happens when a guy named Chuck meets a woman named Sarah. I'll give you a hint, it's me writing.
David’s done something pretty special with this fic. It’s Chuck and Sarah centric, but very much an ensemble piece, too, with a lot of Team Bartowski and other familiar faces throughout.
Chuck Versus the Con Game | Steampunk.Chuckster
AU. Chuck and Sarah are partners in the con game. It's an existence wrought with danger and violence. Every day could be their last. Every mission could be the end of the line.
This is where I freak out SC and declare this fic the reason I ever got hooked on Chuck fic and then wrote Chuck fic, and the reason I still love it today but. that is true lol. Just so. so good. It’s also written with the chapters out of chronological order, which is super fun from a reading perspective. But con!Sarah AND con!Chuck?? Best. The kind of fic you will be thinking about for days (if not, y’know, years).
As you can tell by the repeats, I highly recommend just about anything by Steampunk.Chuckster, dettiot, or David Carner, but there are a TON of amazing Chuck fics and authors out there. I’ve never known a writing community so wildly creative-- there are so many unique AUs and canon explorations and story concepts that this show has manifested, and it’s all so much fun.
Most of the Chuck fic community is still over on FFN rather than AO3, so if any of these whet your appetite, feel free to have a browse there for more stories. I’m sure you’ll find something great. Personally, all the incredible writing there has also led me to write a buttload; I’m at halfachance on FFN, so if you see any of my stuff or wanna chat fic, feel free to message me there or here.
Happy reading, folks!
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☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au mark
happy birthday mr. lee | find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong
it’s your first day at work and so everything has to go wrong
your manager is half ready to fire you by lunchtime, only because you’ve managed to knock over half a display of books, incorrectly wring up a customer, AND for some reason can’t shelve as fast as expected
all things you are embarrassed of, but are promising - nearly begging - that you’ll get better at
this is your first summer job, you need the experience
your manager grits their teeth, mumbles something about how they’ve never seen someone cause so much havoc in a bookstore - thank god this isn’t a restaurant or you would have accidentally spilled hot coffee on someone too
they wave you off, tell you to go fix that display you clobbered and you brighten up, turning on your heel
just to come face to face with a boy, unfamiliar, and wide-eyed
he’s wearing the bookstores uniform and blinks twice before springing into a smile
“hey, im mark!”
you mumble out a greeting as he takes your hand to shake. his smile is so bright, it nearly causes you to bump into another shelf
which mark realizes quickly enough as to outstretch his hand and support your elbow before you go tumbling
“sorry!” you squeak “im a bit of a klutz,,,,”
he grins, his teeth show and you’re reminded of the way newborn kittens look when they’re yawning
“no sweat, i am too!”
the bookstore you work in is small, and you’re not exaggerating when you compare it to the size of a tightly compact closet - tucked neatly between a larger cafe with a backyard garden and a tailors shop thats been closed all summer long
at first you don’t really understand why it needs two employees, but then you look at the schedule and see that mark’s position isn’t the same as yours
in fact, he’s the delivery boy for people who place orders to the store
it’s confirmed once again when you see him riding down the street on a beat up, but loved yellow bike that he chains to a stop sign outside the nearby cafe
he waves at you when he comes inside, you shyly avert your eyes back to sweeping the front steps of the store
but when he walks past, you smell the same scent on him that hasn’t changed in the two weeks you’ve been here
a mix of raindrops on forest leaves, blueberries, and general airiness you’ve never really encountered before
his rucksack is filled to the brim with books wrapped in brown paper, and rolls of magazines and newspapers
his white converse slowly get scuffed as the days of summer roll on by
and your heart also grows softer for him too
you think it mainly starts when mark comes in early about halfway through summer and starts helping you sort the shelves
you didn’t ask him to do so, he just decided he would
and you two silently work side by side, until mark gets the courage to start humming to himself too
at some point, he starts singing under his breath too, it’s a song you know so you join him at some point mid chorus
and he turns to you with sparkling eyes
“you like this song?”
“it’s one of my favorites!”
he reaches out to high-five you, and you feel your cheeks get hot when he takes a hold of your hand in his palm when you touch
the next day, he comes in early again and this time hands you one of his earphones
you both look over your shoulders to make sure the manager is slacking off in the back, before mark turns on his playlist
and you two just enjoy the music - shelving books - and exchanging glances when you hear any shuffling noises from the stock room
see that’s how it start - and then comes along the lunch breaks
you eat earlier than mark, simply since you work the morning and he only comes around in the afternoons
but you move from eating in the back to eating on the corner of the cafe, as mark leans up against his bike and reads through the orders he has to deliver
“ah - another order for jung jaehyun”
“oh! i know him!”
you perk up and mark tries hard to hide the slight disappointment in his voice because you just sound so,,,,,,,,,excited
“o-oh is he - is he your -”
he almost wobbles right over his bike chain
you laugh, shaking your head - “no! no, i know him from class. he’s not my type at all.”
mark looks like he wants to ask what you type is but you check your watch and jump up, your thirty minutes are up!
“do you want my dessert?”
you drop some taffy in his palm and rush back to the store without waiting for an answer
mark stares down at the candies and grins to himself.
ah, well if jaehyun’s not their type than maybe someone more like me.......
one of the servers from the cafe, a boy around you and mark’s age, jungwoo befriends you
coming out during lunch to share whatever the cafe might have as specials, usually savory rolls and iced drinks
you three group around mark’s bike until you’re called back to work
and one afternoon, jungwoo asks mark just as you once again rush back to the store
“are you two dating?”
mark’s ears go cherry red
“huh, well it’s just you look at them like they’re -”
jungwoo puts his hand under his chin and then snaps his fingers
“ah! like they’re your whole world!”
mark tells him that’s NOT true, and he makes jungwoo swear not to mention it when you come around
but it doesn’t stop him from thinking about you for days after without stop
you’re thinking about him too
with every bookmark you place in a customers bag, with every display you set up, with every new shipment you carry into the back
you just ,,,,,,,,,,,, want to see mark - and when he comes through the door - it’s like the bleak, sticky summer day turns refreshing and colorful
finally, just as the summer season creeps closer and closer to fall
you find yourself alone outside the store and mark is coming back from his last delivery
“is the manager gone?”
“yep, he asked me to lock up!”
you dangle the keys and mark leans his bike against the little bench outside the shop window
“hey, before you do - i need to get something inside.”
you open the door, the bell at the top softly jingles through the darkness
you and mark go inside and he weaves his way through the books and behind the counter
he rummages around and you lean over to see what he’s looking for
just as he pops back up, his hoodie in one hand - he realizes you two are inches apart now
your upper body leaned over the counter and his slim figure on the otherside of it
even in the darkness, he can make the outline of your features
and he wonders if you can see how red he’s gotten
your mind is empty of thoughts because you two can make out his features
his handsome jawline, his doe-eyes, his almost jealousy inducing long and pretty eyelashes
you close your eyes first and mark swallows down the rock in his throat as he leans over
his hoodie drops back to the floor and his hands shake so he holds the corner of the counter as his lips press gently against yours
it’s sweet, it’s perfect, but - it’s short
because the door opens again and you both break away in terror - only to see jungwoo in the frame
“huh, i thought the shop was close- oh am i interrupting something?”
you and mark both shout a definite, “no”, that actually sounds more suspicious than either of you mean it to
jungwoo’s laugh echoes as he closes the door behind him and adds a, “ok suuuuuuuure”
when you step back out into the summer night with mark at your side - you’re both too shy to look at the other
but your hands brush and mark’s pinkie locks on yours
it’s quiet, the busy street silent as every business is closed and the bustling crowds are at home to escape the humidity
“do you want a ride home?”
you turn and find mark’s already looking at you, his eyes warm under the street lamps that flicker on the ends of the curbsides
“sure, but - how will we both fit on your bike?”
you feel wobbly, but mark assures you you’ll be fine, his bike might look old but she runs like a charm
and with that he kicks off the stand and starts peddling, you on the back where his rucksack usually sits full of books
you’re still unsure so you wrap your hands around his waist and mark makes a small noise he’s happy you don’t seem to hear
he bikes you home in the comforting silence of a dawning night
when he drops you off outside your house, you don’t get off for a second - head buried in his back
“will you kiss me goodnight too?”
now, all these years later, that old bike is broken and somewhere in the attic
as are those uniforms from the bookshop, mark’s hoodie that he left with you that night, and the photo you took on your last day of work
you and mark are holding each others hands and grinning, the manager is barely managing a grimace, somehow jungwoo is even in the photo
you think one afternoon that you should go get that photo and frame it, it’ll look so nice next to you and mark’s wedding photo
mark turns to you and agrees, maybe he’ll get that bike down too so he can fix it up
and you two can take another ride, just like you used to, all those years ago
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