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hwaightme · 8 months

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Bonnie on the side

THIS IS 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI FOR STAR'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut)

(masterlist) (perma-taglist)

🏩 pairing: businessman!cheater!seonghwa x fem!reader 🏩 genre: smut, pwp, angst, slight fluff? ish? 🏩 summary: you could never escape park seonghwa, every business trip turning into an excuse to fall deeper, leading you to consider a role laden with sacrifice, lies and one that you never in a million years thought you would, nor could take. 🏩 wordcount: 4.7k 🏩 warnings/tags: language, edited? funny, explicit cheating, secret-keeping, grey line between lust and love, hwa has a female fiancée (she/her pronouns), rich businessman hwa with a black card, hotel manager!reader, lmk if anything 🏩 a/n: this in no way represents seonghwa <3 i just over-listened to the song 'sad girl'. i appreciate you all, any and all reblogs, notes, thoughts appreciated, much love! 🏩 playlist: sad girl by lana del rey, illicit affairs by taylor swift, fine line by harry styles, say yes to heaven by lana del rey, love is a bitch by two feet, salvatore by lana del rey, midnight love by girl in red

🏩 nsfw tags: soft dom!hwa, sub-leaning!reader, mention of multiple rounds, no protection (wrap before you tap), mention of the pill, hwa is rough but verbally loving, sweat (and other fluids), cumshot inside, overstim implied, intimate sex, needy as hell, mention of tears and begging, petnames (darling, love, good girl), praise, fucks the love into reader, implied cheating as a possible turn on

When you locked eyes with the owner of the black card, you knew that there was no easy way out. His eyes, fiery, sharp, alluring bore into your flesh and burned the man’s features into your brain. It was obvious that he would haunt you, be it in the waking world or as soon as you would succumb to a turbulent and short-lived slumber. He would be there. Always. Try as you might, there was no escaping him; in the end, even prey was honoured to be a sacrifice to the beast.

“All done, Mister Park Seonghwa, we hope you enjoy your stay with us at Hotel Horizon. My colleague here shall guide you to your room, and your bags will be following suit.”

You bowed, the angle and positioning of your shoulders and arms having been drilled into you after years of practice and execution. In the early days, the gesture would have given you strain; now it was not even second, but primary and central nature. And a method of avoiding his gaze, much to your fortune. Both hands outstretched and holding the card by its very edge so as to not make contact and maintain utmost respect, you waited for the businessman to retrieve it. It seemed that he was waiting for something, but you did not dare check. Not until you could rid yourself of the pesky item and move on to giving him the pass to his room. This was going to be a long morning. After what felt like minutes of motionlessness, you lifted your head slightly, only to see that he had not ceased his observations, still trained on you, though without a hint of malice nor lewdness. Merely more present than anyone else in the hall, or the city, for that matter. The scrutiny reminded you more of how one would study a painting or a statue in a museum, without much of an opinion nor goal in mind. Simply existing in the same space, convincing you that you were existing to be perceived by him. The thought sent a chill down your spine which you only just managed to suppress, though it appeared that the minute pursing of your lips was enough of a reaction for Seonghwa to take the cursed card from your now weak hold, and give you a dazzling, albeit slightly tired smile.

“Thank you, Miss… L/N Y/N. I really appreciate it,” the timbre of his voice caused the phrase to reverberate in your head, making your name sound much more important than it had ever been. Even on your own passport. You gave him a grin - one that was approved by your employer and by the common standards of high end hotels, and refused the gratitude. Just like you had to. Just like you wouldn’t behind closed doors.

The uniform shirt felt tight, the tie was transforming into a noose around your neck, and the air conditioning was doing nothing to help combat the rising heat. Hellfire surrounded you, and was beginning to consume you. Your fellow hotel staff were somewhere far away and ignorant of the inferno, though physically close. Like clockwork, they were little soldiers parading and doing exactly what had to be done. Nothing more, but most importantly, nothing less. Such was the standard at Hotel Horizon, and it was something that you had always been proud of when you were at your best and most professional. But now you were crumbling, and with every visit by the same temptation, you were losing yourself more and more. If only you could return to being that bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new joiner who still knew nothing about the world, building castles in the sky and making the hotel life your everything. It was easier then, without the harsh reality of wanting more, and wishing for the most beautiful bird flying close to the heavens, rather than holding your own little sparrow dear in your hands and nurturing it. You let go of your soul’s freedom so thoughtlessly, and sinfully loved every second of it. Would you do it again? Most certainly. You knew you were going to do it again. That same night.

You adjusted your vest discreetly, pulling on the bottom edges until you felt a light friction against your chest. In a fraction of a second, you were back to your removed self, dutifully completing your tasks until the pass, and the spare pass were both on their journey into the breast pocket of Seonghwa’s suit jacket. He tilted his head as he gazed into your orbs. It was not too challenging to read him, judging by the expectation written all over his features. He was rehearsing how he would ‘dispose of’ the spare key. Both of you had done this before, and the shared secret was another sweet taboo that you missed when Seonghwa was not around. After his visit to the rooftop bar where he would get his usual mocktail, it would be left in the large floral arrangement, in the statement vase down the corridor from Seonghwa’s room where the cameras did not reach - you had checked on multiple occasions, and never brought up the issue even though it was a security risk. It was a guarantee of safety for you and for him, and that made it more than worth it.

“Not a problem. If you require any assistance or room service, do not hesitate to call the numbers provided in the pamphlet,” it was a struggle to not chuckle at your choice of words - room service. Were you going to be room service? Have you always been?

Seonghwa, however, did not appear to find your approach comical, instead taking it literally, remaining immersed in his role. He had always been a brilliant actor, or so you were partial to believing. You had the chance to witness his mastery when his fiancée had called on a couple of occasions some time ago, normally when she was somewhere abroad, and had a total disregard for time zones. Most likely, should anyone ever ask her, Seonghwa had insomnia and incredible stress, and ‘had meetings early the next day so he had to hang up to catch at least a couple of hours of sleep’. According to you, it was when he was tangled in the sheets at Horizon that he was himself, and he could let go of at least a fraction of the dulling pressures of his otherwise daily catastrophe. And no, he did not have meetings. At least not until a much more reasonable hour. And if he did, he was perfectly fine tuning in from the comfort of the hotel. The rolling of the eyes, the tightening of his lower jaw right before he answered the phone call with a ‘sweetie’; it made you want to laugh hysterically, loudly, right in her face - one which was at the forefront of your mind ever since you finally figured out her full name.

“Thank you. Have a lovely evening, Miss Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you were practically shivering as he turned on his heels, following one of your colleagues towards the elevators. Though he was not directly inspecting you anymore, his glances still haunted you, littering your skin with burns.

All you could hear was how the rubber soles of his chunky dress shoes hit the marble floors, and all you could bear to witness was the swaying of his hips, the delicate curve that marked his phenomenal waistline that you were dying to grab, concealed only by the onyx jacket, along with a black shirt that was teasingly semi-translucent, with cutouts hinting at your favourite body, at the most angelic, yet downright sinful being who was a repeating graceful fall in your life. When Seonghwa turned to wait by the elevator doors for the familiar ‘ding’, making idle chat with the bellboy, he did not hesitate to look back at you and give you a nod, accompanied with the ghost of a smile - forever yours, Park Seonghwa. You pulled at your vest again, longing to be out of it, ablaze. Time was cruel, seconds trickling like lazy grains of sand in an hourglass, as many as there were buttons on your lover’s shirt, and yet it was still too long. So much for living in the now, when all you wanted was for the clocks to speed on ahead, and then freeze only when you commanded them. Mid-tryst, mid-secret. That way, there surely would no risk of anyone finding out why Seonghwa picked this hotel every time he visited, how by some mysterious coincidence, you were at front desk on the day he would register, and how, every time, you appeared to be pleasantly surprised, though not nearly enough to be total strangers.

With danger came a different kind of high, you had realised as you guided yourself back to your responsibilities, hiding behind a facade, and once you had gotten a taste of the concept of ‘getting away’ and not being caught, you were addicted to it just as much as you were to the one you blamed. When you got a moment to yourself, with another staff member who had been tasked with checking guests in bidding you farewell to have a quick break, you immediately shut your eyes and massaged your temples. It was going to be a long night. You tilted your head side to side, not exactly needing to stretch but making an appearance - for others except one you were void of ardent emotion; for others except one you did not think, operating exclusively by the work manual, impeccably executing every action down to the tiniest detail. Just like you would stealthily make your journey to take your place as his one and only for the night. Check in. Check out.

He liked to bear witness to the disaster he caused. That was how you found yourself pinned against the bed, with Seonghwa having intertwined his hands with yours, knuckles turning white, cotton fabric imprinting itself to decorate scalding hot skin. He set a languid, but lethal pace that made the chunky silver necklace he wore slap against his neck. Each thrust was deeper than the previous one, ruining what piece of dignity you had left. He muffled your whines and ecstasy-driven cries with his plush lips, kissing away the tiny traces of the waking day. With him, you were the night itself, biting into the forbidden fruit without hesitation. Seonghwa was the serpent, Seonghwa was the angel. In the throes of passion, the visions blended into one and all you were left with was the ability to stare back at his face, glistening with sweat, and even that was failing you. The world was a blur, and you wanted to be absorbed by it.

The beautiful, albeit troubled man could not get enough. He never could. Greedy, gluttonous, lustful, you spun threads out of his demons and made them all rise to the surface, possessing him for as long as you were around. Seonghwa could sense that you would be his undoing from the first time you had captured his attention - and he was not wrong. Before you, something like an affair was out of the question. Now, it felt as though it was you he was betraying every time he had to leave. A bead of moisture travelled down from his forehead, disappearing into his dark tresses that flew to and fro as he rolled his hips, guiding his throbbing member in and out of your wetness with practised mastery. When he leaned back to admire your tearful expression, entirely given up for him and only him, he could not help but leave a trail of feverish pecks across your jawline, to your ear, giving it a couple of nips before whispering:

“I missed you so much, darling.”

You could only mewl in response as he angled himself to directly hit your sweet spot, in turn making him groan when your walls clenched, begging for Seonghwa’s release. The rising stimulation made you even more vocal, and you were struggling to find support with how he pushed you into the sheets. He sensed your wriggling and let go of your hands, nudging you with his nose. The sweet aroma of sex and Black Opium filled your clouded mind, and you threw your arms around your lover, crying out his name. The action made him speed up, pistoning his cock into your dripping cunt as best as he could in the intimate position. In these moments he wondered how he possibly could ever look away from you, from your presence in his life, only to return to a palette of low contrast greys and a numbing dullness.

You bucked upwards when he thrusted into you with particularly satisfying aggression, prompted by a building anticipation of a carnal collapse. Sweet nothings blended with rage, filth with innocent musings as strained whines became your new, and his favourite language. A strand of hair, almost the length of his impeccable face stuck to his temple, the dampness, prompted by animalistic exertion turning into an accessory fitting of a divine performer, actor, demigod. While you could only just make out his shameless regard, the concealed emotionality consumed the last of your inhibitions. When you were connected, body and soul, he wanted to take this as a chance to reveal every inch, every thought that had ever passed by him. You read each one, praying for this exchange to last forever.

“Hwa-a-” you forced out, one hand falling to grasp the bedsheets while the finger dug into his flesh, careful not to turn inwards lest your nails leave a mark.

How you mumbled his name as though it was the only thing you knew for certain, the syllable transforming into a universe you two had constructed for yourselves in the walls of The Horizon, sent its owner into overdrive. He could never escape you, nor would he ever wish to. You were his Garden of Eden, his beginning. Initially, he had been attracted to your cold resolve, your reserved nature, your resistance. Now, he would give up the world, sell his assets, become no one for the opportunity to see you at your most free. He was lost in your glossy eyes, wanted to worship how your lashes fluttered as you took him so terrifically. After meeting you, he had no challenges in understanding what ‘being made for another’ meant.

Seonghwa’s pants were your favourite music, and as more and more began to escape his reddened lips, overwhelming heat rushed to your core, causing you to throw your head back onto the messy pillows. Because of how he was hovering close to you, motion a sensory bliss, every stroke brushed against your aching clit before fading into unparalleled pleasure that you were floating in. You were breathless, on the verge of giving out, and judging by Seonghwa’s carnal grunts, and a string of curses moaned low, barely audible, he was in the same state. Together, as you always wished.

The velocity at which his high was approaching turned him to ruin. Roughly, he lifted your lower half by hooking you under the thighs and pulled you impossibly close. You let out a choked yelp when his hips pressed flush against yours, his length swallowed up by your hole.

“Fuck, so perfect, baby, just for- ah, me-”

“Yes, yes, yes-” you chanted, voice high-pitched and airy as you accelerated towards your undoing.

“Wrap your legs around me, darling, I want to see you- shit yeah, just like that-”

You obeyed, shuffling to satisfy your lover. A hand landed on your lower abdomen as he began violently jackhammering into you, intoxicated from the feeling of the moving bulge. Lifting it, Seonghwa could not take his gaze off the sight, instead pulling you lower until he could sense his dick rubbing against your walls with even greater intensity. He moaned and doubled over, going faster, wishing nothing more than to permanently claim you. You could no longer make a sound, mouth opening and closing mutely, echoes of a name, unspoken worship caught in your throat.

“Sounds, darling, let me hear those pr- ah- pretty sounds,” he instructed, flying to hold onto your thighs as he relished in the squelching of your nectar leaking around him.

“Fu- I- I am-”

“About to?”

“Uh-huh-”

“Such a good girl, Y/N, that’s right, come for me-”

You did not need to be told twice; you shuddered, your body almost giving out and limbs turning into nothing more than a melted mass. The electricity that had been building within you crackled repeatedly, igniting your every muscle and leaving you a shaking mess, at the mercy of Seonghwa’s every gesture, every move. Suspended in oblivious bliss you listened to the lewd symphony of the bed’s swaying, Seonghwa’s balls slapping against you, and the sensation of your cunt pulsating around him, begging for more despite you being sure you could not take it. Arousal coated his cock and squirted out of you as the stunning man continued to chase his own orgasm, running down his toned thighs and onto the sheets below. You wailed, legs shaking with more vigour as he mercilessly pounded into you.

“Baby, I’m so close-”

“Inside,” you moaned, met with a particularly deep thrust and a searching expression. Using one hand Seonghwa cupped your chin, struggling to maintain a steady rhythm. Evidently, he was already holding back, rather than accumulating.

“W-what did you say?”

“I said, I wa-ant you to come inside me, Hwa,”

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yes I am on the pill,”

“Oh, darling-” he could not help but kiss you, his hair tickling your cheeks. When he moved back, letting you arch back into a more comfortable position, you could help but notice how much darker his orbs seemed to have gotten, “...fuck you so full with my cum you’ll be leaking until I can do this again, baby, is that what you want?”

“Y-ye-s-” you ignored the pang of melancholia that the phrase arose within your heart, biting hard on your lip when Seonghwa collided with you.

A guttural moan, more gorgeous than anything you had ever heard filled your ears, reverberated in your cranium. Hot, viscous fluid coated your inner walls, painting them a delicious white and mixing with your slick. After a few more stuttering drives of his softening length into your sopping pussy, Seonghwa threw his head back, a few tiny beads of sweat - like diamonds, launching themselves into the darkness. It was then and there that you were sure you had witnessed divinity.

Gently removing himself - the soothing nature of his actions so astonishingly far removed from his earlier treatment, he sighed in delight at how the ropes of cum leaked out of your used hole, coating your folds, claiming you as exclusively his for the night. Seonghwa ran two fingers over the masterpiece, watching how the sticky juices formed strings of translucent white as he spread them apart. He climbed over to you, gesturing for you to open your mouth and smiling when you did without question.

“This is us, darling, care to give it a taste?”

As he watched you take his digits and suck on them with an adorable diligence, he realised it was doing little to abate his lust and longing for you. More, he always needed more, he concluded, pushing his tip against your stimulated bud with a sigh.

“Stay.”

“You know I can’t,” as soon as the words left your mouth, you were taken aback by the comical nature of the exchange. How funny it was that the two simple phrases held so much gravity, and could be said by either of you. Rearrangement of the variables still brought the same result.

You continued to roll your tights up your legs which were tired after a spontaneous second round, careful to not tear at the material, while Seonghwa pierced your back with his searing stare. There was no need in turning to check on how he was positioned - the visage was intoxicating enough that you could draw it from memory. Hair, a hint of wave in otherwise impeccably smooth strands was styled by passion itself - a tousled fantasy. Glint of the necklace - a refined detail of the artwork that was he. Permanently sunkissed skin of his bare torso and toned arms was exposed to you, a last attempt of luring you back into the devil’s soothing grasp - one that you were sure that if you were to come back to, you would never leave. It would be a lapse of judgement to overstay your lack of welcome if you were hoping, at least partially, to see Seonghwa again. He was propping himself up, elbow digging into the mattress while the other rested on the waist that you adored to embrace, but could do only under the cover of the night that graciously chose to remain oblivious to your amorous ruses. His plush lips, still slightly reddened after the hungry kisses that made them all the more appealing. His nose - regal, elegant, that brushed against you sending electric shock after shock over your body. His eyes - deathly afraid to say goodbye, and yet never failed to contain the melancholy of parting. In these moments when you were tugging on your uniform, each article of clothing being a step closer to a mundane grayscale existence made from routines and systems in which you were nothing more than a pawn, you despised them, and had to mentally shake yourself and hurl yourself towards the life you were supposed to be leading.

“I think about you always,” he stated so casually that you almost paid it no mind, until a rustling preoccupied your senses. Seonghwa was moving, and from the dipping of the mattress, you could only conclude that he was stalking towards you. You needed to disappear, and fast.

This was a constant game between you and him, except a couple of ‘times’ ago, you stopped believing that there was to ever be a winner. It was clear as day that you were two broken hearted people, with your own paths, your own wounds, searching for an escape in whatever form you could encounter. You knew that Seonghwa was seeking a reciprocation, a ‘likewise’ or an ‘I think about you too’ spilling over the edge and into the intimate, illicit abyss. Who did not want to feel wanted? You smiled to yourself as you finally finished with the tights and took to buttoning up your shirt.

A hand rushed to grab yours, prying your fingers away and reducing your instructions to nil, while the other pulled at the closest shirt sleeve to expose your shoulder. With a sigh, Seonghwa peppered kisses over you, over every curve and edge, upwards towards your neck, paying special attention to the area that would let him earn his most wanted response from you. You bit your lower lip and froze, resisting the urge to turn around, grab a fistful of his hair and sink back into a forbidden paradise. He was not giving up, noticing that you were no longer dressing nor pushing him away, and snaked an arm around you, forcing you to lean back into him. His breath was hot against you, the only thing you could feel aside from the dizzying taste of his lips, his teeth, the tip of his tongue grazing supple and sensitive skin.

“Hwa…” you whispered, stifling a moan as your deviant lover sucked at the base of your neck, insatiable.

“Hm?” his hum was sweet, sweet music, and you tilted your head back only to fall into him.

“There’s no time,” you tried, and made an honest rock forwards, only for your motion to be blocked, and for Seonghwa’s fervour to climb. Trepidation and inklings of a craving sparked behind your ribs, and you gripped the bedsheets exposed between your legs to retain the last ounce of sanity.

“There’s always time,”

“Not for us,”

“Then this can be our forever,” he twisted you more, kissing away your retorts and anguish.

Cutting it close, you skillfully made an exit before early inspections and rounds, perfectly filling your role as manager once more and occupying the same spot by registrations thanks to convenient scheduling manipulations and falsified benevolence towards some colleagues who were not too fond of the task. Your goal was simple - you wanted to be the one to greet one particular guest.

It took longer than expected, and check in was almost over for the day when you saw the figure, and then the face of the person who you had been looking forward to meeting with a twisted, borderline disturbing excitement. She was all that you had assumed you would encounter based on the brief mentions and your less than brief perusal of social media and articles that described the financially prompted engagement, arranged to complete a function that was above any kind of love. You did not exist for her, just like Seonghwa ensured that she did not exist for you. It was comfortable, searching for her gaze which could not settle on any one place - unlike the man you had been making love to only a few hours ago. The fluttering wings of a seasonal butterfly, all yammer, no substance. It was impossible to discover an apology within your tainted inner world, let alone guilt. You added her name to the relevant number, issuing a pass and saying the same phrases with robotic politeness. She could not care less. Not for the strained smile, nor for the way in which you met Seonghwa’s look that hinted at an irritated desperation as he strode down the foyer towards the one who was supposed to be his beloved, and consequently, towards you. At least to one of you he was not lying. You had never seen a colder greeting, and that sent an arousing tinge of victory to your stomach. He held his stare over the woman’s shoulder while giving her a quick embrace with one arm. This time, you returned it in its entirety.

As the fiancée finally decided to resume her check in, accepting the pass and explaining that ‘even if Seonghwa dear was to leave early, she should not be disturbed until eleven in the morning with breakfast that had been specified in her booking’, you nonchalantly nodded along with a refreshing coolness. The boost of confidence that Seonghwa’s barely contained pride in your professionalism gave you was dizzying, and you were happy to bask in it and show off all your best sides. Yes, ma’am. Of course, ma’am. Always, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am. It was easy. She was an easy one to read. Such was normally the case with the clients who were the most demanding. How simple it must be, you mused as you watched her spin around to find a bored Seonghwa, asking him something in a shrill tone. You had no right to despise, in fact, if there was anyone who should receive the label of a monster it should be you, and yet, a revelation was bestowed upon you. If your rewards consisted of Seonghwa’s devotion, you did not mind being the villain.

You knew more than she ever could, and that made things all the more easy. While it did hurt to be aware that the bed you had shared earlier would be occupied by another, the hope that in Seonghwa’s mind, it was always you was far too strong to remain pessimistic. And with that, you let them go. Enter their day as a couple, while you, as a passing face. Making sure to pay little attention to either of them, you returned to typing something on the computer, yourself not quite sure if anything appearing on the screen even made sense. He was due to check out in a couple of days. So close, but so, so far away. In a land called his own life, not meant to exist with yours. A mere couple of minutes later, your phone dinged, jolting you from your pondering.

> ps i cannot wait

You blinked multiple times to confirm that what you were seeing was indeed a message from none other than the man who had just raised his hand to point and was guiding his fiancée to the elevators. Park Seonghwa - ‘ps’, a little code you and he had devised for the rare occasions that he would need to notify you. You never knew his number, but you knew that whichever address the letters would come from, it was him, and could only be him. Lifting your head, you encountered a lingering regard, masked as a general study of the surroundings while she was trying to start an argument with one of the staff over their treatment of her suitcases. Baseless - but that was on brand.

> next time?

You typed out as quickly as your typing under the desk would allow you.

> is this ‘le chat noir’?

Silent at the mention of the high class restaurant, you could only respond with a curious agreement.

> yes.

> i’d like to make a booking for 8pm tonight.

Your hands were shaking. You could feel that gaze on you again, setting you alight. You had a second to decide, a lifetime to repent.

> booking at ‘le chat noir’ for 8pm tonight confirmed.

There was no way out. But at least you could enjoy the labyrinth that you were trapped in, and be his Bonnie on the side.

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enjoyed the fic? i would really appreciate any reblogs, comments, notes! much love!

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spiritualitygeek · 4 months

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PAC | Your 2024 In A Nutshell

Disclaimer:

This pac is for entertainment purpose only. I am not liable for any actions or decisions taken or made based on the information presented in the reading. The interpretations and insights are subjective and open to individual perception. Please use your own judgment and intuition when applying the messages to your life or situation. Thank you!

Pile 1

Cards: 6oP rx, QoW, 2oC

With the Six of Pentacles in reverse here, I'm seeing your financial situation hitting rocky roads in 2024. You need to reassess your generosity or be cautious with resources. Refrain from spending or investing thoughtlessly. And most importantly, do not lend money. To anyone be it family or close friends.

Moreover, with the Queen of Wands I see you embodying a strong, charismatic energy, hinting at your ability to take charge and make bold decisions. This is particularly great if you're looking to move out or start a new venture. Or maybe start a new course? Degree? College?

I'm seeing you getting out of your comfort zone and taking charge for doing things that you've been scared till now. Most of y'all might be introvert or would turn 18 this year?

The Two of Cups here indicate deep connection, possibly in relationships or partnerships. Again, I'm seeing you start something new where you'd meet new people and collaborate with them. If you're a student, you'd enrol in college or if you're looking to start new business or anything for that matter. But in my humble opinion, you're gonna find your soulmate this year. It can be a best friend or lover? But you'd surely click with this person like nobody else.

To sum up, in 2024, you may encounter financial fluctuations, urging you to find a balance between giving and receiving. And so, it's highly advisable to approach any challenges with confidence and passion, embracing your leadership qualities. You may as well end up making meaningful connections which are going to last a lifetime. Be it professional or personal.

Stay attuned to your financial choices, ensuring fairness and caution. Embrace the Queen of Wands' boldness to overcome obstacles. Nurture connections, fostering collaborations that bring joy and fulfillment. Remember, balance and confident decisions will be your allies in shaping a rewarding 2024.

Pile 2

Cards: KoW, 6oS, 7oS

In 2024, you're likely to embrace the leadership qualities of the King of Wands, making your way through any situation with confidence. The Six of Swords points to a journey, both physical and metaphorical, indicating positive movement and growth.

However, be cautious of potential challenges or deceptive elements as the Seven of Swords are telling me there are people who are going to backstab you or feel jealous of your growth. When you're growing, and acing it all with confidence and grace, it's natural to attract envy of anyone. Be extra wise and careful with people you keep close. Not everyone has your best interest at heart.

In a nutshell, your year is likely to be a balance of bold decision-making, adaptability during transitions, and a discerning eye to avoid pitfalls. I must say, 2024 is gonna be your year pile 2. Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the ride. You're gonna enjoy this one.

Although, it's advisable to trust your instincts always, in the face of your problems and in your connections. Sometimes it's important to keep your guards up against certain people. Regardless, you indeed have what it takes to overcome obstacles and lead yourself towards positive change.

Pile 3

Cards: KoS, 5oP, QoS

In 2024, you're advised by the King of Swords to approach challenges with logic and clear thinking. The year ahead requires you to use reasoning over emotions. Because situations would require it with the five of pentacles here. There may be temporary setbacks, a lot of rocky roads throughout the year, but nothing that can't be managed. You may feel often than once that it's too much. You can't bear it. Or that things never go as you wish. Well, they won't. If I'd be honest. This is why you need to stick to reasoning over emotions, to address financial or emotional concerns better. Just because things aren't going the way you want them, doesn't mean they're going to hit a dead end. There's always a door that leads to a better outcome than what you imagined or wished for. Just stop resisting the best by insisting for good. Because that'd lead you to settle for worse.

The Queen of Swords is here for you to guide you with her decisive and perceptive qualities to cut through any confusion and make informed choices. Take this message to your heart and make your mind right now. You won't give up. You won't complain. You will keep pushing! Because things will get better. And you will get the best if you stop resisting what universe has in bags for you.

Overall, be patient and practical in 2024. The year may not be your best year, but it'll indeed be a stepping stone to the best years ahead. Have faith! Don't be a quitter. Be a fighter.

You can overcome any obstacles with a combination of intellectual clarity and emotional resilience. Utilize your analytical skills, address challenges systematically, and make decisions with a discerning mind. Maintaining a sharp focus and clear communication with yourself will be essential in navigating the year successfully.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my pac. I hope the insights resonated with you and provided some guidance. If you found this helpful, I'd be grateful if you consider following me for more spiritual content and future tarot readings. Wishing you all love, light, and positivity on your journey! ✨

- With love, Snow ❄️

Enjoyed the reading? Tip me here~

#spirituality #tarot #tarotblr #tarotonline #pac reading #pac #pac tarot #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile

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raichett · 1 year

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So, I’ve been thinking a fair bit recently about how the Hermitcraft servers, in-universe, actually function on a social and micro-cultural level.

A list of real life facts:

1. They have unlimited respawns on Hermitcraft. Death is generally either funny or an inconvenience, and pranks resulting in death are very much allowed, even fairly common. Scar, for example, in his Hotguy persona, literally goes around and shoots people with his bow for fun (and it’s considered a little rude to not die if you’ve been Hotguy’d).

2. Hermits are invite-only and it’s a rather exclusive server; if a (rare) guest is whitelisted, it is only temporary. Many new Hermits are suggested and supported by an already existing Hermit, and there is a phase where a potential new Hermit is researched before any invite is sent. Once you’ve received an invite, there’s no taking it back, and there’s no probationary period. Hermits (and potential Hermits) are not obliged to either accept nor to stay, however! Many former Hermits have left amiably, and some have even come back after missing a season or two, like Keralis.

3. When it comes to server-wide decisions, everyone has to agree or else it won’t happen. It’s quite literally all-or-nothing on Hermitcraft. And everyone has a say and everyone’s voice is weighed the same, no matter how long or short they’ve been there.

4. Many Hermits are pioneers or big names in their field (Doc and Tango in redstone, Grian and Scar in building, etc.), or else have been around in MCYT circles for a long time (e.g. Etho and Xisuma). This is not true for every Hermit, but there is distinctly an element of this in the line-up as a whole. It is also very common for Hermits to ask for help/opinions from other Hermits whose specialities are different from their own.

5. Mega-builds and mega-projects are the norm on Hermitcraft. It’s generally expected for a Hermit to take months and months on creating a starter base, then a mega base, at least one shop, usually a mini-game or two for server-wide events, etcetera etcetera. Not every Hermit does this, or does this every season, but most do.

6. Hermitcraft has very, very few rules: griefing is allowed, stealing is allowed, etc. No, really! You can do just about anything on Hermitcraft - so long as you’re prepared to deal with the consequences, and to make reparations if you actually hurt someone’s feelings.

7. It does, however, work on what are called “gentleman’s rules”: that is, if you make a mess, you clean it up, basically. If you prank someone, expect a retaliatory prank, which you have to take in good humour. If you destroy (by accident or design) someone’s items or builds, you’re expected to replace/reimburse/help set it to rights. The entire Hermitcraft economy (the shopping district) works on an honesty box design. Good sportsmanship is the name of the game on Hermitcraft. In the words of Grian himself: “We prank hard, but we clean up harder.”

8. As touched on before, no one on Hermitcraft actually has authority over anyone else. Some people have admin access (Xisuma, Tango, Joe Hills, etc.) but everyone’s voice weighs the same, even if some people have stepped up to take the lead when it comes to the engineering minutiae of maintaining a very popular server.

9. Every Hermit in the current line-up (Season 9 at the time of writing this) is an adult. I can only think of one person who was not an adult when they joined Hermitcraft and that is Mumbo Jumbo, who was 16 or 17 at the time, I think. Most of these people have life experiences and careers before MCYT. Some of them have only recently ceased to be part-time youtubers/streamers and change to full time as they quit jobs to pursue it (e.g. Cleo, Impulse, etc.).

So, what does all this mean in-universe? Well...

- Death is temporary, and very little weight is assigned to it, save that if you kill someone for a prank, expect to be pranked fatally in return. There is very little angst to be mined here.

- The Hermits’ expectations of other Hermits generally boil down to “good sportsmanship”, “willing to lend a hand/their expertise if they’re open to doing so” and “willingly accepts consequences for their own actions”. If you don’t follow these expectations at least most of the time, you’re not really acting in a way that is considered acceptable to the rest of the server, and you’re not fitting into the community on Hermitcraft.

- No Hermit takes on any particular authority figure role, neither in the sense of a boss or manager who looks after things on a professional level, nor in the sense of someone taking on a parental role for anyone else. Friendships are certainly encouraged, and Hermits have varying social relationships with each other, but there really is no “mum friend” or “dad friend” around, excepting the occasional joke, there really just isn’t. And there aren’t any Hermits who seem to want to take on this role.

- The closest I can describe the micro-culture of Hermitcraft in real world terms is “university/college dorm full of mature students (mature students = people not fresh out of secondary school/high school)”. They are all busy with their own massive projects, and then on a social level are out to have a good, slightly chaotic, time. They’ve generally got a good sense of identity, or are blossoming into the kind of creator/person they want to be, because they’re in an environment that encourages growth and ambition while (contrary now to the university/college metaphor) not punishing failure.

- Hermitcraft is a place of “healing” only in the sense that it is a place where people have a fresh start to dedicate themselves to massive projects and become a part of an exclusive but generally helpful and kind community. The only expectations are that you take responsibility for yourself and your own actions, and if you dish out something you’d better be prepared for it to be volleyed back to you; all of these are fair, in my personal opinion. Some people absolutely thrive on such an opportunity! Some others do not.

- Hermitcraft is exclusive, and not everyone who visits the server gets to stay there. To be offered an invite to become a Hermit requires you to be a good fit for the server and its community, and for everyone to agree on that. If even one Hermit doesn’t want someone there, they won’t be invited. That being said, the Hermits are mature individuals, and if you’re not a friend, then you can at least be a colleague. But if you can’t even be that... well. Hermits don’t offer invitations quickly, due to the fact that there is no probationary period; you’re either in or you’re not.

- LARPing is fairly common, wars are games, and everyone there is just out to have fun at the end of the day. If you don’t want to be involved in whatever “storyline” is currently being acted out on the server, you’ve got to manually say so and tap out. You can just say “sorry, busy with my mega-build, have fun at the war” and be left in peace. And these play-pretend games are not necessarily server-wide, either. Not everyone wants to be involved, and those who don’t aren’t pressured to be. But they do very much happen, and pretty frequently.

And... yeah, that’s about it. Hermitcraft is a world where a bunch of people are basically running wild and free, able to create huge projects and have fun with their friends (in that distinct adults-who-don’t-have-to-go-to-work-and-are-free-to-be-who-they-wish-to-be kind of way), and while the in-universe reality of any storyline can be up for debate in fandom (e.g. in Season 5, was the jungle actually possessing people or were they just LARPing that?), at the end of the day, most of what happens is in good fun and good sportsmanship. And that is what it means to be a Hermit.

#hermitcraft #long post #raichett original #this is totally not spawned by vague annoyance at constant flowery found-family-but-make-it-as-OOC-as-possible fics #and certainly not by any fics that make crossovers between hermitcraft and other mcyt series #but fail to address the reality of hermitcraft canon and characterisations and expectations let alone ones from the other series

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gourmetofglut · 2 months

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The Mischaracterization of Ferris: A thread analyzing Re: Zero's most misinterpreted and overlooked character.

Note: This is a re-edit of a thread I wrote on Twitter. I recently decided to start using Tumblr a bit more. Since I've also been wanting to back up most of my threads, I figured I might as well move everything here. This is the first re-edit I'll be posting on this site. It was one of my favorites to write, so I hope it's enjoyable!

Side story spoilers for the entire thread. Arc 8 spoilers in the speculation section (will be marked since so many people aren't caught up).

For novel readers of Re: Zero, Ferris stands as one of the most divisive characters in the fandom. Considering his poor utilization in the anime and his role in the story within Arc 3, it's easy to see why.

On one hand, Ferris is one of the most outwardly aggressive characters toward Subaru in Arc 3. He makes no secret of his disdain from the start and consistently throws jabs at him every opportunity he gets. This behavior can certainly leave a negative first impression.

On the other hand, Ferris is quite a fascinating character who serves an important role within the narrative of Arc 3. He doesn't let Subaru off as easy as everyone else, which is exactly what makes seeing him grow respect for Subaru satisfying.

Whichever opinion you hold, that’s mostly irrelevant today. Instead, I will be simply discussing his character and his role in the story, as well as arguing in favor of many of his merits that people overlook.

Ferris's primary role is similar to all the Royals Candidates' knights: serving as a foil for Subaru. I've explained the similarities between Subaru and the other knights before, but to sum it up as quickly as possible all 3 of them represent a version of what Subaru could be.

Reinhard is a version of what Subaru could've been if he were the typical isekai protagonist, Julius is a lot more complicated but he’s essentially what Subaru could've been if he were granted enough power to face his enemies on even ground, and Al is Subaru if he had been just a bit unlucky in where he had been sent; becoming someone who struggles to care and abuses his powers to the fullest.

Ferris is much the same, though it can be argued he parallels Subaru the hardest, except for maybe Al. The resemblance on paper between the two is uncanny. They are both physically weak men who often don't fit traditional gender roles and have the sole desire of helping a woman they love to achieve her dreams of becoming a Royal Candidate, no matter the personal costs to themselves.

To do this, they use an extraordinary power unique to them (in Subaru's case RB, and in Ferris' case his magic that is relative in power to an authority). Their need to rely on others for victory is a source of immense mental turmoil and often leaves them full of self-loathing.

They place immense value in the lives of others, even those who have or will harm them, to the point that they are willing to be harmed to help them. Seeing others casually disregard the lives of others serves as one of the things that anger them the most.

They are both prone to obsessively possessive behavior and have sometimes even directed it towards the one they love. This often leads to them getting in trouble due to their jealousy.

There are more similarities I could point out, but you get the point.

Where am I going with this though? Ferris is clearly a parallel to Subaru, but what does he represent regarding him? Put simply, I believe Ferris is meant to represent what Subaru could've been if his parents were just a bit different.

Parent and Child is one of the most crucial chapters for informing us about just the kind of person Subaru is. Perhaps the most important piece is how it helps us understand just how much of his current personality is a result of his father. Subaru not only looked up to him but actively mimicked him to achieve his goals. The pressure of the surrounding world caused him to default to trying to be his father instead of who he truly was. Subaru's parents weren't perfect. In fact, they were very flawed people. Regardless of this fact though, they are responsible for many of Subaru's positive traits.

The same is true for Ferris and his shitbag of a father. If you were to ask any novel reader what Ferris' defining trait as a character is, they would probably say anger or bitterness.

This isn't surprising, as that's how he typically acts towards everyone except Crusch and Fourier, even when it comes to friends such as Julius.

I would argue, however, that this is merely an act he defaults to when he is stressed or angry, similar to Subaru's mimicry of his own father.

During his bitter moments, such as his cold statement to Subaru as he leaves Crusch's mansion in Arc 4, Ferris is merely defaulting to what he has learned to be the best method of dealing with his stress...a method that is eerily similar to how Biehn sometimes acts in EX 1.

Whether Ferris acknowledges it or not, his attitude at his worst moments makes him come off like his father. He can be cruel, sometimes even callous. He shows intense rage when he doesn't get his way and attacks the part of his opponent that is most vulnerable.

This attitude can blind him to the point that he can even hypocritically act racist towards Emilia. Ferris' entire life has been defined by discrimination. In the face of someone he should know has faced many of the same issues, he once again acts almost exactly like his own father.

It was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but that does not excuse him just like it does not excuse Subaru.

Speaking of his parents, it's also notable how their inability to connect with Ferris parallels Naoko and Kenichi's struggles with Subaru.

Ferris' dad is a bombastic, loud man who was (once) well-respected and causes many of Ferris's issues through his actions and Ferris' emulation of him. His fatal flaw in the end was that he could not understand Ferris, similar to how Kenichi could not fully understand Subaru.

Ferris' mom, on the other hand, fully understood the distress he was under but did not have the confidence to interfere or make a change as Ferris wasted away, similar to Naoko's inability to help Subaru when he most needed it.

That's not to say Kenichi or Naoko are even a thousandth as bad as either of those two, but their struggles with their child deeply parallel each other.

Back on track though, I want to highlight a bit more of Ferris' parallels with his father using perhaps the most damning example.

This specific scene is from "The Saga of the Great Crusch-sama Begins." When faced with his mother, whom he hates so much, he attempts to stab her in the chest. Crusch gets caught in the crossfire causing Felix to freak out and unlock his water magic to save her.

What can at first be written off as just a unique origin for Ferris' water magic gets recontextualized hard in EX 1, where it's revealed his father killed his mother in the exact same method.

It's such an eerie similarity and something that I feel gets overlooked too often when discussing Ferris.

As shown in scenes like the one above, Ferris often projects this image of hatred, bitterness, and malice. It's easy to write that off as just the kind of person he is as so many often do...

...but there's obviously more to it than this. There is far more to Ferris than his mimicry of his father.

Ferris doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable very often in the story. Only when he is with Fourier and Crusch, as well as when he is in the most intense moments of crisis, does he show who he actually is. Stress is the best test of character after all.

The best example to me? His confrontation with the father he so often emulates.

If Ferris was actually as vindictive as he so often outwardly acts, how would you expect him to react to the death of a man he hated so much?

Wouldn't he taunt him? Wouldn't he make his last moments a living hell? Wouldn't he crow in pleasure at his agony? Would you be able to even blame Ferris if he made Biehn's last moments hell?

You would expect that...but that's not how he reacts. At that moment, watching as the man who tortured him so much dies an awful death, he just shows sadness. He thinks about the possibility that they could've just worked things out. He just wishes that things could be different.

Despite everything his father had done to him, despite all the rage at the world Ferris projects, the moment he is put into a scenario he likely dreamed of he can't help but feel pity that this was the only route he could take. He never wanted to hurt even Biehn of all people.

And this, I believe, is Ferris's actual defining trait underneath his persona of cynicism and bitterness: kindness and a greater love for life than perhaps anyone else in the series.

Ferris's power, as Fourier once said, is the kindest in the world. At his core, Ferris is just as kind as his power.

Think about it. Despite Ferris's words, what is the thing that upsets him most?

People who waste their lives. Whether it be Subaru, Fourier, a random Vollachian guard, or even Witch Cultists...Ferris can't bring himself to watch life be thrown away. It just hurts him, regardless of how horrible the person is.

Just like Subaru, Ferris wants to help everyone, even if it costs him so much. The pain that he feels when he is unable to do so is immeasurable, as Subaru himself states in Volume 8. He is struggling with the same realization as Subaru: saving some people is impossible.

So where will this lead? What does this have to do with the themes of the story? Well, to answer that, I’ll have to take a little diversion to talk about one of the more…difficult topics involving Ferris.

Ferris and his relationship with gender is something that I feel a lot of the fanbase is really fucking weird about. Even ignoring the pretty deep-rooted transphobia in a lot of discussions involving him (he isn't trans, but he is heavily trans-coded and there really shouldn't be so much of an issue in letting people read into that), there's a feverish desire to deny that his status as a person not conforming to gender norms matters at all. All too often, people reduce it to just a fetish or something to make jokes about.

The reason this is such a bafflingly stupid take though is because of how blatant the importance is to anyone who has read EX 1. Even Tappei himself has stated that many of the things he wants to do with Ferris could not be done without this aspect of his character.

Ferris's non-conformance is part of a promise made with Crusch. Ferris took on her femininity while Crusch took on his masculinity. It's a promise between the two that proves their devotion to one another. It's the ultimate symbol of their affection for one another.

In Aganau IF Ferris dresses and acts more masculine, precisely because his connection to Crusch no longer exists.

I'd also argue it's why he continues to dress as he does even when Crusch no longer has her memories, desperately holding onto the literal symbol of the bond between them.

However, unlike Crusch who seems to love who she is both when taking on more masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance between them; Ferris can't do the same. He sees it merely as a means to show his devotion rather than something he does for himself.

He constantly expresses that it is all for Crusch and Crusch alone. If anything he seems to resent his inability to fulfill any kind of masculine role, as shown once again in his conversation with Biehn in EX 1.

When pushed to finally unleash all his true feelings to Biehn, what does he bring up as the main reason for his resentment? His abuse? His coldness? His murder of his mother? Any of the innumerable unforgivable things Biehn has done to him?

No. Ferris points at his body. He anguishes over his skinny arms, his inability to wield a sword, his lack of muscle, and his lack of fighting prowess. He hates his lack of masculine features and how he's unable to live up to his idea of what Crusch's knight should be.

He literally sees his masculinity as something stolen from him by his father; leaving him so empty that he needed something else to fill that void.

Crusch gave him something to fill that void. Crusch gave him a way to live. Crusch filled his soul...but he still resents what he "has" to be.

Now does that mean he resents Crusch? No, of course not. But he does resent that this is the only thing he can do for her; the only person he can be. Deep down, he doesn't seem to want to be the way he is, and instead of trying to change that he gives in to despair.

He's stuck in that hatred, in that desire to meet Crusch's expectations, and in that moment where a starving child begged to be released and was finally brought into the light. In many ways, he acts like a child.

This is quite literally represented in him preventing himself from going through puberty; a symbol in many stories of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. He sees his current form as a shackle whether he realizes it or not.

Now does that mean that Ferris should disregard his femininity entirely? Throwing away the representation of his love for Crusch and something that has defined him for so long seems as self-destructive as staying stuck. What's the solution? Where is his arc going?

Well, before that, I want to cover one last thing before I have to delve into Arc 8 spoilers. There's a bit of a side tangent I want to go on.

With everything I've been able to point out up to here, it's clear that Ferris is a remarkably complex character. There's so much to read into and talk about.

So why is he so hated?

He's so similar to Subaru, possibly the most popular character in the novel fandom. Despite all the claims of him being the worst and me highlighting his character's flaws, he hasn't done anything more morally dubious than the vast majority of characters in this series, even when he was pushed to the edge. This is especially true when compared to some of the most popular characters like Subaru or Roswaal. Hell, characters even more directly belligerent than Ferris like Priscilla don't get half the hate (though Priscilla's perception has...its own issues).

Why does he get disregarded so often? Why is he often treated as shallow fetish fuel? Why is he just reduced to being an asshole in every discussion that involves him?

Well, I have a few I can point out.

The first is, most obviously, misinformation. A large portion of the novel reader base has not read Arcs 1-4 in the LN and has very warped views of some of the characters in that section of the story. Ferris is just the most blatant example.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people just blatantly lie about or exaggerate what Ferris did in Arc 3. From the "mana bomb" that has LITERALLY no basis in the text to the "brainwashing" scene treated as a comedy bit that is exaggerated to hell, people go out of their way to interpret him in the worst light possible.

Many of the people who haven't read those sections then see Ferris's ribbing of Subaru in Arc 5 and then run with those pieces of misinformation; spreading it to the point that many believe some blatant lies to be fact.

The second is simply that a lot of people in the fandom don't read the side stories. I don't particularly blame a lot of these people, as there is a lot to get through, but there are a lot of people who take advantage of this for...certain reasons.

This leads to the third point...shipping. Ferris suffers from "Die for our ship" syndrome (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DieForOurShip…). A lot of people like Crusch x Subaru and Crusch loves Ferris so that ends up being more than enough for some people to hate him.

That's not representative of even close to every Crusch x Subaru shipper, of course, it's just a notable trend that it's hard to pretend doesn't exist with some of them.

All of these factors often go hand-in-hand with the final factor: the fandom's immense double standards when it comes to certain characters.

I'm not going to go into deep detail with this as it would distract from the main point of the thread...but you know what I mean if you've interacted with the community for a significant period of time. It also doesn't help that many of the same people in this category tend to be incredibly bigoted.

Ferris isn't the only character subjected to these double standards, as characters like Emilia and Ram often face similar purposeful misinterpretations, but his frequently unfair critiques have affected his reputation negatively perhaps more than any other.

This isn't to say that this is all true for everyone who hates Ferris. There are numerous reasons you may just not be interested in his character.

However, I feel it's dishonest to pretend Ferris isn't often targeted far more than other characters for often lacking reasons.

With that out of the way, I can move on to the last thing I wanted to cover in this thread. I have established a lot here, so I want to speculate about the future.

From this point forward there are unmarked Arc 8 spoilers, so...you can't argue I wasn't careful. I don't blame you at all for leaving now and I thank you for reading my ramblings.

Are you still here? Ok, let's start.

With all of the above established, I want to return to the question of where Ferris' arc will go in the future. My belief? I think it will be something similar to what Pre-Amnesia Crusch has already realized, with Felix’s closest parallel in Subaru being close to doing the same.

Crusch, as I mentioned before, has found balance in the two aspects of her life. Throughout the story, she switches seamlessly between the two without a second thought. She is comfortable and happy with both parts of herself.

Subaru is also on a similar path. He feels most comfortable in embracing his feminine side, idealizing it through Natsumi. All his confidence is channeled into that persona, while the other two aspects of his personality (his main self who has all the self-worth of an abandoned puppy and his child self who is representative of his more masculine traits) are imbalanced.

Arc 8 seems to be going in a direction where he realizes how important all of these aspects of him are. All 3 have flaws. None of them are "complete," just pieces of the coherent whole that is Natsuki Subaru.

I believe a similar thing will happen with Ferris.

He will need to find a balance between Ferris, his feminine side that has defined him for so long, and Felix the masculine identity he craves. He needs to find a role that makes him as happy as Crusch was, accepting who he is while striving to become who he wants to be.

I don't expect that to be easy though. In fact, I think the path to get there will be immensely messy and self-destructive.

The idea of Ferris having a breakdown or lashing out has been well-foreshadowed throughout the story. He has had numerous smaller outbursts and has displayed similar problems to Arc 3 Subaru when pushed to an extreme. There's a large amount of toxicity in him that will rush out, sooner or later. It will likely take similar levels of suffering to force him to get a grip, possibly hurting Crusch in the process.

Who do I believe to be the trigger for this? My best guess is Capella.

It is quite possible Capella freed Sphinx and recreated her arms initially. Why would she do this? Why not? We're seeing firsthand how much of a monster Sphinx can be with the Sacrament of the Immortal King. Why wouldn't someone like Capella want something like that under her control?

Of course, Sphinx is almost certainly dying soon. Capella will need a replacement, and who's the only other potential user of the Sacrament? Ferris.

There's also the idea that Capella may have poisoned the Royal Family and, most importantly, Fourier. If Capella does become the main antagonist for Ferris, that could serve as motivation for him to want her dead regardless of his own reservations about killing.

Adding onto this is the fact that shapeshifting is a power with a long history of being associated with identity issues. Tappei likes making his antagonists strong narrative foils to his protagonists, so it would be interesting to contrast Ferris' identity issues with the potentially strong identity issues of Capella.

Finally, there's a lot of potential for her tragic past to parallel Ferris' past, with many implications that the Royal Family may not exactly have treated Emerada the best. The idea that the Royal Family may have locked her away is not implausible and it could make their connections even stronger.

Whatever that breakdown leads to, I expect Crusch and/or Subaru to be the one who snaps him out of it. This will likely be the catalyst that forces Ferris to find a balance. He'll need to let go of things like his self-blame over being unable to help Fourier, his internalized hatred of his current identity, his idealization of Crusch, and his need to save everyone. Ferris's love will finally allow him to grow and change into a person who is the middle ground between his desires and his true self.

After all, that's what Re: Zero is truly about: love and growth. Almost every character reflects this and, if my interpretation of Ferris is right, he could embody that theme just as much as Subaru himself does.

He could be a shining bastion of what this story is all about.

Of course, this is all just my interpretation and speculation. If you disagree with it, feel free to. I just hope I was able to make you appreciate Ferris a bit more/changed your mind on how much potential his character has.

I wish whoever is reading this a nice day!

#re zero kara hajimeru isekai seikatsu #re zero #arc 8 spoilers #ferris #re:zero #rezero

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vampiretendencies · 1 year

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im starting to scar, im going through phases !

summary; he does everything he can to push you away, leading to his downfall. warning; angst, sadness, there’s no happy ending, mentions of events in seasons 3, chateau still exists, mention of throwing up, proorfread but may find mistakes. pairing; jj maybank x fem!reader. authors note; decided to take another approach because not everything always ends with hugs and kisses. wishing you all the best. hope the ending doesn’t seem rushed, requests are open. creds to gif owner. this is based on phases by chase atlantic, and lyrics of the song will be used. there’s a spotify link below, if you’d like to listen and read. lyrics are in bold italics.

It's been 24 hours

I'm getting impatient

I'm sorry you're scared

The feeling is shared

I'm sorry I'm dangerous

Ever felt that feeling when an impending doom is bound to strike?

Like when you know the earths about to cave in, and all you can do is let its currents drag you under.

The calm before the storm, maybe.

And JJ can feel it creeping in.

The sensation that he knows he won’t make it past a certain life span with his lifestyle, and he’d be damn if he’d drag you down with him.

Hell, he wasn’t sure if he’d make it past twenty five, at this rate. Between reckless trips to South America, and nearly dying in Barbados multiple times.

You were his last remnant of hope in life, and now he can’t even hold onto that anymore.

The filaments of love that intercepted his veins at just the sight of you, he couldn’t bare it.

He couldn’t bare so much love.

Or at least, he refuses to allow himself to.

The instance now is being in bed but miles away. And he’d been doing this for around two weeks now— throwing away the most valuable year of his life for a notion, or just the thought that you’d be better off. That you’d be better off without his baggage, his issues, without him.

He’s facing the wall, his boxer-clad frame away from you. Whilst his knees curl into his stomach, because he can’t see your face and he definitely can’t look you in the eye. He fears the longer that he lets you ponder his heart, and graze him gently that he’ll back out. Due to the fact that he’s been toying at the idea for two weeks. You stomach it, thinking maybe he’s had a bad day— still, you trace your fingers tips on the freshly tanned skin of his back hoping maybe it would comfort him. Or lull him into explaining his shift in attitude.

But he’s been like this long enough now, what if he’s going through a funk, you thought. But in reality it was you praying to yourself about what you kept denying.

He wouldn’t, would he?

He lets you touch him, he lets it linger like a cut to flesh, searing, burning, stinging at the same time. Recognizing the familiar pattern, curving and then going straight down to form the shape of microscopic hearts. He wants to stay in this moment, freeze time, so that the possibility of you despising him forever wasn’t something he’d have to deal with. So, he melts into the comforting touch, reminiscing on the times that it brought him infamous joy and not gracious amounts of sorrow.

He knows he can’t keep you.

He knows that you can’t continue to stick around.

In his own fucked up opinion anyway.

“What’s the matter J?” His insides clinch at the nickname, one only you typically called him. It was reserved for you in fact. And you weren’t a plain idiot, after a little over a year together, knowing when somethings off with your partner tends to become prominent.

But this … this was true anguish.

Mental anguish, if you will.

Grieving and missing you, when you’re a fingertips touch away. The great fall of JJ Maybank and Y/n was to ensue, and he was preparing himself for it. Realizing no amount of preparing could heal the hole that losing you will cause.

“M’okay bab-“ the pet name on the tip of his tongue comes to a hault, as if he were about to insult you by saying it. Something that he says out of habit and instinct that he couldn’t shake. God, he just wanted to call you baby in constant rotation. It was routine, but it couldn’t be any longer.

He has to follow through on every step of this path to breaking up with you, and if icing you out is what he has to do then he will. He solely wanted to sulk in his last few pleasing memories he’ll ever have with you. Beginning to break his ways in this relationship with you piece by piece. Hoping it would make the leaving part all the more ‘easier’.

Whilst you were oblivious, he was dying inside.

“M’okay,” he repeated, and stuck with it.

What the fuck was that? You thought.

Your facial features scrunched up in disgust at the dry response, the boy that was involved and cared what you had to say even about the stupidest things, usually; has a tone of no interest. He couldn’t see you, hence his back being turned away from you, but he felt the reaction through your stopped movements on the subtle skin of his back.

A grave dispense of heartache is upon them.

You say we should talk, it's falling apart

I hate when you say this

I feel like a child

I know it's denial

I'm going through phases

As anyone’s mind would wander in this situation, you felt unwelcome. Unwelcome in JJ’s room at the chateau. Unwelcome near JJ. The entirety of your presence seemed as if it wasn’t needed here.

“Something has to be JJ.”

Has to be.

It rung in his hears, and struck a sutured nerve or two. Because he didn’t want you to know something was wrong, or to even be let in that realm of his thoughts. You also have this agitation towards JJ right now as he’s treating you as if you don’t exist.

When at one point you were the only one in a room full of people.

You pull him back by his shoulder, forcing this fulfillment of eye contact. A weeping tear glazing over his eyes, a sob he’s been holding in the short hour you’d been over. He can’t keep it together but, he’s trying for the life of him. Even if you hadn’t seen the isolation of a salty tear forming, you sense the numbness in his features. Caught so off gaurd, mouth parted and all he can do is stare up at you with no emotion.

The boy you love was eons away.

Meanwhile that boy is compelling himself to not love you anymore.

And no, he didn’t want to see you go. You were his lifeline—on this constant high that he couldn’t come down from. You kept him high in the ways weed didn’t.

Knowing that he’ll be at this record breaking low when you’re gone makes him want to spiral. But, he’s not what’s preeminent for you, he’s not what’s best— anymore antics with the Pogues and he’ll ruin you. He’s baffled it’s even lasted this long.

“Why’s something have to be wrong?”

You’re propped up on your knees to the mattress, his blonde tresses are sprawled out against the pillow just as beguiling as he’s always been. Yet, not the same.

“I don’t know you just haven’t … you haven’t-“

“I haven’t what?” He bites back, sheer irritation. Adding to fuel of the irate frustration that’s being built upon brick my brick. One push and it’s all coming down. Though he needed his last few weeks with you to be pure elation, he can’t help but detach himself already. Protecting you, all whilst protecting his own sauntering feelings.

“You haven’t touched me in weeks JJ … everytime we kiss it feels like you don’t mean it. I can’t be the only one putting in effort here.”

You were right, going from his hands all over you anytime, anyplace so, a love language of utmost physical touch— to absolutely zilch. Not even a hug or a hand hold. Essentially stuck to you like a sticker, that sticker has fallen off, been stepped on, ripped, and trampled in rain.

JJ wanted to slam his head against the wall until it was fucking blue. He had to act like he wasn’t phased, a douchebag or an asshole. Quietly hoping it would make the letting go less intense. Lovelorn, at most.

He’s wrong. So utterly wrong.

What is he doing? — in a larger sense.

“Anything else you wanna’ complain about?”

End it now or hold off longer? JJ battled with himself again.

Get lost in love or escape it? If you love her let her go. You know this won’t be good for her. You’re such a fuck up. And again.

Your eyebrows knit together, you hadn’t known what you were saying could be taken out of context into a complaint. You’d let him be out of tune for long enough, you bit your tongue long enough, it was long enough. A stranger could tell something was desperately wrong.

You just wanted him to fix it.

You just wanted JJ.

“I wasn’t complaining J,” You pleaded almost, a quiver could be sensed in your voice. “I-I feel like you’re disgusted with me … like are you even attracted to me anymore?”

His irritation grows as that could never be a possibility. His undying attraction towards you has multiplied since kindergarten. You were the first one to notice him that school year— his dad gave him a pack of crackers for lunch, not caring about the child’s well being. And you, shared a PB&J with him, it’s been his favorite since that day.

And so have you.

You knew that, often taking advantage of it by getting your way with him, whenever need be.

If only you knew what he’s struggling to get off of his chest now. He can’t even believe there’s a version of his world without you in it.

“Please shutup.”

Is all he can suffice, as it’s minimal and not giving away too much. But it still pings at the strings of your heart all the same. Glaring, he presses a hand to his forehead, thumb and index finger colliding with his temples— to infer that you were giving him a headache on the verge of a migraine.

Tears are now pricking at the crevices of your eyes.

Why is he talking to me like that? You thought.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood tall, your body intensely drenched in the heat of JJ’s lackluster coated tongue.

Passionless so it seems.

You fought the tears wearily, even still they streamed and he held his hands over his eye’s because he can’t stand to see it. He can’t stand to see himself being the cause of those sopping tears— though he would be eventually anyway.

Just not now, he doesn’t know if he can do this. His insides are physically wearing away at the sound. He can’t comfort you as he would, due to it wringing the both of you by the neck when it comes to the end. For him it would reel him back in, and make him stay repeatedly. And you, it’s going to be all the more difficult to let go.

You known each other since before you knew how to spell, how do you let go of that?

“… t-then are you fucking around with someone? You’re cheating on me aren’t you?!”

He was astonished such a sin would leave your mouth. You thought it was in his nature to have such relations with another— he’s let your imagination run widely enough.

And he thinks he’s going to throw up— legitimately puke all over his bed, full on having to push you out of the way.

He’d overcome so much to get you, winning you a little over 365 long days ago.

All for what?

For nothing?

To just have you sit here and think the worst of him?

“If you aren’t going to shut the fuck up, you can go.”

Feel like I'm going insane, I'm going through phases

Pharmacy's rotting my brain, I'm going through phases

Heaven is calling my name, I'm going through phases

Oh, oh, yeah

I'm going through phases

He vowed he’d never do this to you, there for each other whilst having no one. Any of this, really, but being spiteful on top of it is making your hands clammy and your mouth dry, Now, he opens his eyes and removes his hands, sat upward as he gestures toward the door. Jaw clenched with a heaving chest, it was a damn insult to call him a cheater. It was agonizing. He’d never made you leave, even in the smallest of arguments he wants to make up seconds after. Cracking jokes about ‘how hot you looked while mad at him.’

After he’s done with you, you’re going to wish he’d cheated.

It’s menacing and erie, the repulsive silence that surrounds the two of you. He’s just fiddling with the rings amongst his fingers. Abruptly brought out of his trance once you leap off of the bed. Yanking his Bait Shop Tee past your shoulders, you throw it at him. It catches wind with hair, plopping him directly in the face, falling into his lap.

He deserves it.

He stood by not looking whilst you changed like he perpetually tended to do. You could’ve been the sun, the way fuming exhaust radiated off of your body. Slipping your head into your sweatshirt, whilst rummaging through his floor for your shorts— doing so quickly, if you were to look back on it you’d recall every moment of this painstakingly long conversation.

He cups his face into his own hands at the ‘last’ thing you’d say to him. Watching you rush past his door.

“If I wanted to be in a relationship by myself, I would’ve just stayed single.”

Collapsing into your side of the bed beside him, he takes in your remaining scent. So sensual, he wouldn’t get that satisfying scent again. Grasping the open flesh of his chest in misery. He’s torturing himself.

You’d eat those words.

Swim in the dark

The water is changing

Floating away, the fear in my brain

The feeling is fading

Kie frantically called you in urgency, days later. There was a plan to unfold, one that would be the cause of you resenting the Pogues for years to come. They were closer with JJ, you didn’t have as much freewill as the four of them did, or so much as you didn’t have the guts to leave your parents wondering where you are for days on end. You didn’t fit, the outcast of the group. The Pogues accepted you as you were but there was a tendency, that they too would agree, to gravitate towards JJ.

Even when the two of you were pining and it was all 'no Pogue on Pogue macking," blah blah blah, they never intervened.

You were JJ’s girl.

They knew it before you did.

Alike, with how they knew the outcome of the blood curdling screams to follow.

The elongated porch of the Chateau is fully occupied like how it normally would be, but there is no JJ.

Unbeknownst to you, he's on the other side of the front door. The same front door that's attached to the porch, and tended to be used for eavesdropping. JJ’s back is against it, clothing hanging off of his feeble frame. He didn't have an appetite, didn't have the motivation to shower, or even comb a hand through his hair.

What use to have meaning, is now meaningless without you.

This is what JJ intended, to have the Pogues did his dirty work. And after seeing JJ's current condition they obliged without much convincing. He didn't mind his friends getting caught in the crossfire, because as long as they were involved you'd detest them too. Meaning, there'd be no trace of you here.

He didn't have the fucking guts to break it to you himself; always caving and falling back under your spell.

Having the Pogues do it is more reasonable for the both of you, or at least he thought. You loathing all of them wouldn't make you come around and that was a sacrifice JJ had to make, for he feared if he saw you again, he'd become a ghost. Already a shell of the person he use to be.

Utter captivation and enrapture would be no more. He'd abhor himself if he let you witness another bloddy nose, another 'help me I'm in trouble text message', another close loss of life.

He beckoned he was much too treacherous and threatening to your purely refined soul.

There's life before you, during you, and now he has to attempt an after.

Here goes nothing.

You say it's not me

I hate when you say this

I'm falling apart

I'm starting to scar

I'm going through phases, yeah

Sheer exhaustion nearly causes you to miss a step, hand gliding with the screen door of the Chateau. You hadn't slept a wink, yearning for a sign that JJ still was still lathered in infatuation along with you, but there hadn't been. Two and two were coming together, and you weren't heedless no, just in open denial. In fact, you were willing to forgive the events of days ago to relive any sentiment with your boyfriend.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Not in this eternity, but he hopes to see you in the next.

With each inch you take towards the couches atop the porch that Kie, John B, and Pope were sat on, the atmosphere was muggy and rancid of thick air, fitting. The floral printed couch was where JJ hesitantly kissed you for the first time, slow and everlasting. Maybe if you touched your lips one more time, you'd be able to feel the linger of it again.

Kie is pacing with a box in her hands now upon seeing you closer in vison and throats are clearing as you stop in your tracks to end your approach on them. The box is lidded and closed, so the contents were unknown. Her lips curve into a sympathetic smile.

Fuck, you knew the end.

They were told to make it short and sweet, and at the sound of Kie's voice conversing with yours JJ perks up like a little dog that’s awaiting a treat. Except this was no treat.

Far from it.

"What's the emergency you called about?" You question, noting nothing of an emergency. Pope and John B are peering down at the cracked wooden boards below, allowing Kie to soften the blow. "And where's JJ-"

"He told me to give this to you Y/n."

You take the cardboard box that's planted into your hands, lifting its taped down lid your heart might as well have fell to your feet. Grabbing onto something, legs about to give out from beneath you. JJ's palm is flat against the bordered door, skin anticipating to be one with yours again.

Inside the box were shattered pieces of you and JJ combined. Your relationship shriveled into something so little, so insignificant. His film from the specific camera he purchased for photos of you and him aside from his other one. Claiming he wanted to savor every second he spent with you, but now as he can't digest the hard-to-swallow pill. He thinks you would be better off with them. A pink bear, that was dressed in overalls, JJ named it 'pinky', from another various date that the two of you went on to Build a Bear. Neither of you had been as children, healing apart of the untouched inner child in one another. There was the t-shirt you'd given him last year for his birthday, that read I heart my girlfriend, with an image of you in the middle of the heart. You could've went on and on about how each individual item in that box made you feel, but its not the items.

Its why are they in this Goddamn box?

"He doesn't want to be with you anymore."

Kies plummeting, echoing, and spit-firing words are the last thing you hear before the box clashes with the creaking floor of the porch. And you just knew JJ wasn't going to be one to miss out on this 'show' that he created.

Hiding behind a door and sending you off to venture a life without him, was a fucking slap to the face. A punch even, maybe even a headlock.

Who does he think he is to leave you so empty?

To leave you to peace together this mess of used-love?

You're pushing past them in absolute mortifying embarrassment. The infuriation towards them hasn't kicked in yet, but you were sure it would when you'd be left alone and inside you room pondering how you lost everything in a moments glance.

To have the Pogues break up with you for him, was a new rock bottom even for JJ.

Your fist collides with the broad door frequently, ear clasping against it to be met with nothing. JJ's face is buried in his knees whilst he sobbed with aching coughs in between, unable to catch his breath. Matching your cries that are too spilling out. So vulnerable on his own and for his person, or the one that was his person.

The end of all either of you have known.

"You're a fucking coward JJ!"

It seeps off of your tongue and causes a collision like dynamite, the daggers of the Pogues eyes are digging into your back. You continue to drag forward on the door, fist likely drawing blood from how hard its hitting.

"I wish I never even met you, d'you know much better off I'd be?!"

And you wouldn't be, neither of you would be the same. Sharing a love story others dream about when they sleep, and sharing an ultimate ending that most would dread. He whimpers as this is this the exact reaction, he'd been positive about, despite which way he approached it.

'Please don't forget how much I love you baby.'

He speaks to himself, as if you were here. Etching a baby in for the hell of it, the final hoorah.

You've resulted to kicking door, animosity, exasperation, and displeasure roped into one. John B is pulling you away, as he doesn't want the door to come off its hinges. Even still you shove John B away from you, running from the life you once knew.

"Can't believe I let myself love someone like you!"

Someone like you.

What's the point of love if it's not real?

Hanging onto me and in your feels

I can't even tell if it's the same to me

I'm falling apart, I know it's denial

I'm going through phases

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hobiebrownismygod · 4 months

Text

Let's talk about Desi representation again!!

I don't talk about this stuff often but when I do, I have some strong ass opinions

and yes I'm gonna be talking about none other than Pavitr Prabhakar at the end cuz he's just special to me <3

Hollywood is lagging behind on Desi representation

You'd think one of the biggest film industries in the world would be able to represent us properly, considering the fact that we make up the largest group of South-Asian Americans and the second largest group of Asian-Americans in the US, but instead-

Western Television forces Indians to conform to harmful stereotypes

Some of the most popular Desi characters on screen are Raj Koothrappali from the Big Bang Theory, Devi Vishwakumar from Never Have I Ever and Kelly Kapoor from the Office.

Indian men are almost always portrayed as robotics engineers and computer whizzes, but with terrible social intellect, making them seem like awkward nerds.

Indian women are almost always portrayed as "whitewashed", or wanting to appear more western, with zero understanding of their own culture or language along with an unrelenting need for attention from white friends/colleagues.

These are both based on stereotypes that Indian culture is "toxic" and "too traditional" and that Indians are only interested in studies.

Most Desi characters in western media have stories that are solely based around their ethnicity and/or racial stereotypes.

British television actually showcases a lot more representation than Hollywood does

I was watching Polite Society, a movie starring two Pakistani characters as the main leads, and there was a dance scene where both the leads are wearing traditional desi attire. My mom turned over, looked at me, and asked, "Is this Hollywood? It can't be."

And she was right. It's a British movie with British-Pakistani actors.

The reason she didn't believe that it could've been Hollywood was because the dresses the two leads were wearing were traditional and beautiful and the song playing in the background was authentic Hindi music, not some random westernized DJ version of it.

A Hollywood movie would've never dressed up their Desi actors in actually flattering attire (*cough cough the Patel twins from Harry Potter) or have used real, popular Desi music in the background.

You see my point?

It is so uncommon to see well-thought-out Desi representation in TV nowadays, where to see real diversity we have to watch movies made by the same country that colonized us.

Ironic.

British movies/shows with desi leads have far better South Asian representation than anything I've seen in Hollywood recently.

The Hollywood movies starring Indian leads, like Slumdog Millionaire or Bend it like Beckham were filmed in the UK, and because they were filmed in the UK, they had fantastic South Asian representation.

Not only does Hollywood refuse to create shows and movies about real problems that South Asians face, but they also don't cast South Asian actors in good roles.

When's the last time you saw a South Asian actor playing a character that wasn't a walking stereotype? When's the last time you saw a South Asian actor playing a character that was a genuine part of the story rather than just comedic relief or a random smart kid in the classroom?

Not often, right?

Me, personally, I didn't grow up with a lot of South Asian characters or actors in shows/movies that I watched. In fact, every time someone even close to my skin color showed up on TV, I was on the edge of my seat because it was just so rare to see it.

This is why representation matters.

You've heard about all the young girls with braids being so excited when the new little mermaid with Halle Bailey came out. Well, us desi kids wanted that too.

I wanted to see a Telugu speaking girl with wavy hair and dark skin who would wear traditional clothing to Desi get-togethers and parties, go to the temple with her family, eat vegetarian Indian meals, etc...

I wanted to see a character who was a representation of me and my experiences as an Indian-American. I wanted to see a character that was at least a representation of Indians or just South Asians in general.

Instead, we were given characters that ridiculed their own culture, were extreme stereotypes and furthered the existence of casual racism in western society today. So many Desi kids experience small acts of racism on a daily basis because people have been so desensitized to the existence of these stereotypes.

Telling South Asians that their culture is a joke and feeding non-asian children media which pokes fun at other cultures is harmful, not only to us South Asians but also communities that could end up being targeted next.

Pavitr Prabhakar; Representation Matters

If you've been following me or if we're mutuals, you probably know I have a tiny obsession with Pavitr Prabhakar. But why?

Because of all the reasons I just listed.

There are few South Asian characters us Desis can look up to these days, and Pavitr Prabhakar is one of the maybe two or three characters who have great writing, magnificent representation, and overall a fun vibe.

He's likable, funny, smart and best of all, unapologetically Desi.

He's just like all the other side characters, with a little bit of his own culture mixed in. He's not being shoved down our throats to further an agenda about fake diversity, he's not a walking stereotype and best of all, he was designed by Indian creators.

He's refreshing and exciting to follow in a world full of a demand for half-hearted representations and the people who created him were obviously putting their hearts and souls into it.

He's awoken a love for Indian culture amongst, not only Desi children themselves but also among westerners who, prior to this, had thought of India as a "3rd world" country, because that's the agenda that Hollywood pushes onto many South Asian countries today.

WE LOVE PAVITR PRABHAKAR!!

This was kinda all over the place but I just had to get this off my chest <3

Sources:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/06/10/discrimination-against-indian-americans-happens-more-than-you-might-think/

#for all the brown kids that never got to see a character that looked like them growing up #desi representation #desi writers #desiblr #desi tumblr #desi tag #desi culture #indian representation #pavitr #pavitr prabhakar #atsv pavitr #spiderverse pavitr #pavitr my beloved #astv #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #pavitr Prabhakar

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piichuu · 8 months

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♡ QUIET I LOVE YOU’S - ITOSHI RIN

NOTES: fluff, gn!reader.

WORD COUNT: 634

AUGUST DRABBLES

itoshi rin may not be one who constantly tells you that he loves you, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t make you feel loved because itoshi rin has his own ways of showing you his love without having to say a word.

as you two are walking on the side walk on your way home from work (he went out of his way to meet up with you and walk you home, because he constantly worries about you, he wouldn’t admit that though), your hands are intertwined as he’s walking on the side that’s closest to the street so he would be the one in danger in case there was a driver who didn’t have control of their car.

he glares at anyone who even dares to look at you up and down while walking past, it doesn’t matter if they do it because they think you’re pretty or not, he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, so eying them is what he does.

when you ask if you can go to the grocery store to buy some snacks because there’s something you’re craving, he’ll lead you towards the closest store and without you having to say anything, he’ll get your favorite snacks and pay for them even though you’re trying to tell him that you can pay for yourself. he won’t let you do that though because he knows you’ve been spending too much money on clothes lately.

as the two of you get home, he begins to cook dinner, allowing you to look over his shoulder while he hands you a spoon so you can taste the food and tell him if there’s something he should add, but like always, you give him a thumbs up and kiss his cheek, something that causes his cheeks to grow into a pink color, you won’t mention it though.

your arms are wrapped around his waist while you’re talking about all your annoying co-workers and the gossip you’ve heard throughout the day. he hums in acknowledgment, letting you know he’s listening to every word you say while also letting you finish the story before chiming in with his own opinions, telling you how the gossip is absolutely crazy even if he doesn’t truly understand what it’s about.

when the two of you eventually eat dinner in the living room while watching a tv-show, he looks over at you to make sure you’re enjoying the food and when he sees that pretty smile on your face, he gently strokes your hair before going back to his plate.

later that evening, the two of you are cuddled up on the couch, you laying in his lap with your cheek pressed against his chest while watching tv. his fingers brush through your hair while helping you sit up a little more so your back won’t begin to hurt due to the uncomfortable position you’re in.

he massages your neck for a bit as he’s aware of the amounts of hours you’ve had to stare down at a computer and he chooses to also focus on your shoulders to release the pain you must’ve gotten after carrying so many bags for your co-workers.

when the evening then grows into night and you’re in bed, holding each other under the covers, he makes sure that you fall asleep before he allows himself to close his eyes. if you would have struggles dozing off or eventually have a nightmare, he wants to be awake to help you, but when he sees that peaceful look on your face, feels how your grip on him loosens and how your breathing becomes even, he closes his eyes too.

but before he falls asleep, he finally lets out those three words that he only saves for you, mostly when you’re asleep. “i love you.”

TAG LIST: @timetobegone @libbyistired

if you want to join the tag list, fill out this form <3

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beakersmeepersmeep · 9 months

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Something I am really looking forward to in the Community movie is (presumably) getting to see Troy return with a greater sense of who he is as an individual. I want to know about his hobbies and interests and opinions and values. And I want to know these things not just because I care about Troy as a character, but because I love the relationship between Troy and Abed.

I think that Troy has one of the more meaningful (albeit incomplete) character arcs in the show. We watch over the first two seasons as Troy lets go of his former identity as a jock and prom king, and learns that he can be vulnerable, or silly, or dorky. He realizes that being a man doesn’t have to look a particular way, and all of these realizations are largely due to Abed.

But stripped of his old identifiers, Troy begins to build a new identity largely based on his relationship with Abed. And while his relationship with Abed is unabashed, and joyous, and revolutionary (for both parties), the reality is that it’s not possible for Troy to build a stable, healthy identity based solely on a relationship with some other person, no matter how fulfilling that relationship is.

[I’m always slightly torn here with this lack of individual identity for Troy at this stage. On the one hand, it leads to this aforementioned meaningful character arc. Moreover, the idea of someone shedding an old identity and trying new ones on is a good and realistic storyline for a show set in college, especially one like Greendale. On the other hand, it sometimes seems like the writers just never got around to fully reconceptualizing the character of Troy after this shift away from jock-Troy, instead relying on his chemistry with Abed, together with DG’s talent for improvising funny one-liners, his ability to make gif-able faces, and his knack for portraying a physical and/or emotional meltdown. Okay, tangent over.]

In many ways we reach the full realization about Troy’s lack of an individual identity by Pillows and Blankets in the back half of season 3. And while we see some additional exploration of Troy via the Truest Repairman plot line as well as via his relationship with Britta, I think Troy largely postpones exploring his own sense of self (whether consciously or unconsciously) up until his decision to leave Greendale and sail around the world in Season 5. [I certainly don’t want to assign value to characters based on their labor output, but I think it’s telling that in the episode Repilot, Troy can’t seem to name anything he has been doing—whether recreationally or otherwise—and instead can only share a vague, half-joking plan to sue Abed in the future.]

Meanwhile we get some really wonderful Troy/Abed moments throughout this time period, but to me they often feel bittersweet, exactly because we as the audience are aware of this tension and its lack of resolution.

I’ve been focusing on Troy thus far—simply because Abed is the one that stuck around, so we actually do get to see him grow and change further—but Abed, as the other half of this duo, has the opposite struggle and we can see his journey in parallel to Troy’s:

Abed knows who he is as an individual but is inexperienced in connecting to others and in building and maintaining relationships. (Unlike Troy who is tremendously likable and connects easily with others but does not know who he is yet.)

It is Abed’s relationship with Troy that shows him he can in fact connect with others. (Just as Troy’s relationship with Abed helps Troy to shed his fake persona.)

But because Troy has a propensity to always defer to Abed and to not stick up for himself, Abed was able to build a relationship with Troy without fully accepting the importance of compromise in a partnership. (Similarly, Abed’s strong personality, imagination, and creativity meant that Troy could adopt Abed’s interests and goals instead of finding ones of his own.)

None of this diminishes the value of Troy and Abed’s relationship—if anything, I think it elevates its importance, as each was exactly what the other needed. But I think it does mean that, as written, Troy’s departure became the inevitable conclusion. And you could write a series that diverged from the prime Community timeline around Pillows and Blankets which allowed for Troy and Abed to both grow and change without either of them leaving, but that’s not the show we got, and ultimately, I’m not sure if it would be a better series. After all, I think Community really shines in this bitter-sweet intersection.

So one of the things I am most looking forward to in the Community movie is getting to know who Troy is as a more fully realized individual, and then getting to see the relationship between new Troy and new Abed. Having a more complete arc for Troy is something I’ve wanted for a long time, and I think it is going to be cool and funny and really cathartic.

#community #nbc community #troy barnes #abed nadir #trobed #six seasons and a movie

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caratbong17 · 6 months

Text

An eye for an eye, pt. 3

Member: Fem!Reader x s.coups

Synopsis: SEUNGCHEOL cheats on y/n not knowing that she is pregnant.

Genre: angst

Word Count:

Warnings: angsty as hell, mildest violence ever, cheating, swearing

Pounding.

That’s all Seungcheol could register as he came to the next morning. He knew he wouldn’t have felt as if a truck ran him over if he had stopped drinking after Y/n caught him at the bar the night before.

After his brother-in-law left him for the night to turn-in, Seungcheol found it to be the best of ideas to drink some more. He knew where Jeonghan kept all his hard liquor. There had been many nights before where Jeonghan broke out those bottles with is best friend…

The day Seungcheol and Jeonghan bought the house, the one they were currently in, together.

The day that the pair received their respective diplomas from SNU.

The day that Seungcheol asked Jeonghan for permission to marry Y/n, because as Seungcheol stated ‘All family members’ opinions mattered’.

The night after Y/n said yes to Seungcheol’s proposal.

The night of Seungcheol’s bachelors, the night before one of the most important days of Seungcheol’s, currently miserable, life.

… So in Seungcheol’s head, it was a fantastic idea to crack open a bottle of whisky on the night his life ran to shit…

Opening his eyes Seungcheol blearily took in his position and surroundings. He was draped over the edge of Jeonghan’s massive sofa, only a miniscule amount of the blanket he had bee handed was covering his cold body. Y/n usually kept him warm during the night, he was his wife’s personal radiator. An empty whisky bottle lay on the glass coffee table next to him.

Scanning the rest of his surroundings Seungcheol decided that it was to early to deal with the consequences of his actions and closed his sleep crusted eyes once more.

As he started drifting off his brain soon started registering what his eyes had taken in. He shot up, eyes immediately drawn to the body sleeping on the single-seater next to him.

There was a body. Curled up in a ball, covered by a fluffy blanket. The body clutched the blanket as if it would protect it and its inhabitants from all the evil the world had to offer it, to keep it warm and filled with happiness as it should have been in the first place.

Seungcheol sat up, looking as much of a mess as he felt, and stared.

Stared.

And stared some more.

That stare was returned by the body in the single seater. The body’s eyes as hard as steel, keeping as much of its emotions in as it possibly could.

“Hannie let me in last night…” The body broke the silence, its voice as steely as its eyes.

“Y/n-ah…”

“I’m going to the kitchen…” Y/n didn’t want to talk, that much was clear to Seungcheol, but they had to talk. Anything they had said to each other the night before could not be considered talking. With Seungcheol apologising and accusing, and Y/n yelling and crying, neither of the two would consider that talking, much less proper communication.

Seungcheol guesses that that is what lead them to this point in the first place.

Lack of communication.

If either of them had just communicated, just talked, just told the other that there was something happening within their relationship, bodies, and minds, they would not be the two piles of mess that they are.

Y/n uncurled and unwrapped her fuzzy cocoon and silently padded towards Jeonghan’s kitchen. Seungcheol did the same. He stood up, smoothed his shirt, attempted to make his hair less unruly and headed to the kitchen to join his lover.

Once he reached the kitchen , Seungcheol found the two siblings moving about in silence. Neither was a morning person, but they both up and about, quietly seeking comfort from one another at eight in the morning on a Saturday.

Jeonghan, partially wrapped in his own fluffy blanket moved about getting everything ready for their daily morning coffee (decaf because Y/n is pregnant and Jeonghan does not like caffeine).

The older sibling was the first to realise that Seungcheol had followed his wife into the kitchen. Seungcheol was met with similar steely eyes to the one’s he woke up to.

“Oh, you’re awake…” It was more than what Seungcheol had expected from his best friend, he was expecting his entire existence to be ignored by the other, Jeonghan had ignored him for less…

like when the couple had to Jeonghan that they were dating,

or when Seungcheol ate the last tub of ice-cream.

“Y/n, what do you want to eat? I don’t think there’s much in the pantry, but I’m sure I can whip something up…” Jeonghan headed to the pantry to see what he could scavenge for them to eat so long.

“What do you have?” Y/n’s voice was raspy. How had Seungcheol not heard it before? It’s the type of rasp that accompanies red eyes and tear-filled nights. Seungcheol felt his heart shatter a bit more than it already had.

“Hmm… let us see… I’ve got pancake mix?”

“No”

“Kimchi and rice?”

“No”

“Fruit? Apples… pears… banana? It should help with any nausea?”

“Nah”

“Cake mix? It might take a while though.”

“What kind of cake?”

“Vanilla sponge?”

“No thanks”

“Well that’s all I have right now… My fridge is bare. I’ve been eating out or at other people’s places quite a bit recently…” Jeonghan looked somewhat apologetic for not having anything sustainable for the pregnant female to eat.

“I feel like a burger. A McDonald’s burger.” This was the first time since last night that there was a sparkle in Y/n’s eye, even if it was small, it was still there.

Jeonghan wasted no time, heading upstairs to grab his phone, leaving the couple alone in his kitchen.

It’s never too early for takeout.

The two sat in silence, neither daring to speak, much like earlier. Seungcheol felt like he needed to say something... anything… to make the situation at least a bit better than its current state. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. I should just go for it…

“I’m sorry…” At least it’s a start… “I know that I said it last night, I know that I will never be able to say it enough, and I know that it won’t make up for what I’ve done but it’s the only thing I can say without making excuses… Y/n, I love you, and I definitely don’t expect you to forgive me at all, much less this quickly… all I want is for you to say something… anything… scream… beat the shit out of me… but please… please… don’t leave me… don’t cry… don’t hurt yourself to make us work… don’t pretend to be okay when we both know that you’re not. The only thing that will bring is making us both feel like crap.”

Y/n sat on the bar stool looking at her hands…have my fingers always been this stubby? The longer she stared at her fingers the blearier they got. Y/n didn’t want to cry again, but she knew it was inevitable, what with the pregnancy hormones, and the fact that her husband cheated on her the night before.

Y/n knew what need to be done… she knew that the words that were about to leave her mouth would change their relationship for the foreseeable future… for better or for worse…

“Let’s stop this…”

There’s no turning back now

“…let’s separate…”

The sound of two hearts breaking resonated in the room silently.

“The food is on its way. It should be here in the next 15 minutes. What did I miss?”

#svt angst #svt fanfic #svt scenarios #svt #seventeen angst #seventeen #scoups #choi seungcheol #fem reader #yoon jeonghan #kwon hoshi #kwon soonyoung #seungcheol angst #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol x reader

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shxtodxroki · 1 year

Text

𝟸00 𝙵𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜: 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚂𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙼𝙷𝙰 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 (𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸)

Summary: What’s it like having a sleepover with various MHA characters (as their s/o)?

Warnings: Mentions of food

Characters: Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya

Word Count: 1.3k

These headcanons are part of my 200 Followers “Ice Cream Parlor” event which is still open for requests, so please feel free to read the event rules here and send in your own event headcanon request! :)

♡ Katsuki Bakugo ♡

- Honestly when you first got together with Katsuki you figured sleepovers wouldn’t be a very common thing between the two of you, this man is protective over his beauty sleep and doesn’t like being interrupted for anything so you figured sleepovers would be a hard no from him until the two of you were much older and decided to move in together

- Surprisingly, though, you end up sleeping over at his dorm much more often than you expected at the beginning of your relationship

- He knows that he gets so busy with training and homework that you two don’t get to spend a ton of time together, and he doesn’t want you to feel neglected at all so sleepovers are his way of making up that time with you

- Plus you’re literally the most important person in the world to him, so he likes having you right beside him when you sleep because that’s when you’re the most vulnerable, and it comforts him to know that he’ll be right there to protect you if anything happens

- Sleepovers are pretty much always over at his dorm though, he has everything set up to perfectly fit his sleeping conditions and needs and if those are disrupted then so is his meticulous sleep schedule, so he only comes over to your dorm if you’re like, super sick or something lol

- Typically when you sleep over at Katsuki’s dorm you head over as soon as you’ve finished classes and training for the day, and the moment he returns as well he’s immediately holding on to you in some way

- Katsuki’s not like, overly touchy in public unless he’s feeling jealous or something, but whenever the two of you are alone he pretty much always has his hand on you in some way, usually an arm wrapped around your waist or shoulders. He just likes holding you :)

- He’s a big horror movie fan, so if you’re into horror movies (or even if you’ll just tolerate them) then expect a lot of horror movie nights when you have sleepovers lol. Of course he’d never force you to watch any if you’re really not interested, and if you are willing to watch a horror movie with him, then he always “begrudgingly” offers to let you choose the next movie you two watch (except he will get upset if you don’t choose one and will proceed to make you choose because your opinions are just as important as his in this relationship!)

- And we all know that Katsuki’s pretty smart and good at getting his schoolwork done, so if there’s anything that you’re struggling with then he uses sleepovers as his chance to help you out/as a mini tutoring session

- He’s not nearly as aggressive with you as he is with Kirishima or the others, he keeps his temper in check and manages to explain the concepts to you in a straightforward, matter-of-fact way (just without his usual bite or aggression behind it) and he always makes sure you understand completely and feel confident before he leaves you to finish your work

- Katsuki prefers minimal distractions while he sleeps, he keeps the room silent, dark and keeps his bed completely empty aside from one pillow beneath his head and a comforter to cover himself up. But if there’s something you need to help you sleep, like a white noise machine or a stuffed animal, then he’ll keep it in his dorm for you. Ignore his complaints about how he’s “disrupting his sleep for you, you loser”, it’s just his way of showing he cares <3

- Like I mentioned earlier, he likes feeling like he can protect you even while you sleep, meaning sleepovers typically lead to you falling asleep with his arms completely wrapped around you. He’s essentially a human heater, though, so in the warmer months you may end up needing to forgo a comforter so that you can still sleep cuddled up together without completely burning up in your sleep lol

- And don’t expect to be staying up any later than 10PM at the absolute latest in Katsuki’s dorm, even that's pushing how late he’s willing to stay up, but for you he's willing to stay up a little later if you’d like as long as you're cuddled up in bed with him and/or ready to head to bed by 10PM :)

♡ Izuku Midoriya ♡

- Sleepovers are in no way, shape or form a rare occurence when you’re dating Izuku lol, this boy loves you so much and would happily spend every minute of his free time with you, so he’s over at your dorm or you’re over at his constantly

- He honestly doesn’t even care what the two of you do, he’s just so worn down and stressed sometimes after training so hard each day and your presence always washes a wave of serenity and happiness over him <3

- Izuku’s honestly pretty forgetful when it comes to his homework, so when the two of you have sleepovers the first thing you do is usually help him out of his homework. Neither of you really want to do it, but you work together to get your homework done quickly so that you can move on to better ways to spend time together

- Snacks are definitely a big thing with Izuku, though, so he always has plenty for the two of you to share! He’s pretty stocked up with both of your favorite treats in his dorm room, but even if you’re in your dorm he carries plenty in his backpack, so the two of you can snack to your heart’s content

- Izuku’s not a huge gamer or anything, but he likes to play video games when he has the time, and he especially likes playing co-op games so the two of you can play together and you can join in!

- He’s not very picky, whether you like battle royale games or cozy games like Animal Crossing, he’ll play whatever you’re in the mood for as long as the two of you can do it together :)

- Izuku also definitely has a habit of rambling quite a bit when he’s with you, he just feels so comfortable around you that he lets all his thoughts flow out of his mouth even more than he usually would

- It actually leads to some pretty interesting conversations between you two, especially when you stay up extra late together lol. He’s the type to bring up a seemingly simple topic that eventually leads to a long-winded rant from one of you, or a super deep discussion on the meaning of life or something like that hehe

- Izuku’s not very interested in skincare on a daily basis or anything, but if skincare’s something you’re interested in and you have products to spare/want to share them with him? Then of course he’ll join you!

- He loves the feeling of your fingers gently pushing a face mask onto his face or rubbing exfoliator gently into his skin, it makes him feel loved and taken care of <3

- And if you have hair long enough to be brushed/styled, then he really likes to brush through your hair :)

- It’s relaxing and feels nice for you since he’s always extra gentle (he never wants to hurt you, even the slightest bit) and he finds it very relaxing to just brush through your hair, plus it gives him another chance to be close to you :>

- Sometimes he even decides to style it! He’s not the best at it since he’s never really styled his own hair, but the more he does it for you, the better he gets!

- He loves trying out new, fun styles, and you always take a picture of the final look and show it off on social media and it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy that you’re proud of the job he did :)

- And when it’s time to go to sleep (pretty much whenever you get tired, Izuku doesn’t have a very strict sleep schedule that he feels the need to follow) the two of you will be cuddled up together without a doubt, though he doesn’t really care who’s holding who. Just as long as you’re all cozy and cuddled up together he’s happy, and he’s able to sleep peacefully knowing you’re safe by his side

- (He also snores just a little bit, but he has the cutest, softest snore that it never keeps you awake and you don’t really mind it, allowing his gentle snores to lull you into sleep beside him)

Request - Anonymous said: I would like to have matcha, buttered pecan, and coffee with oreo toppings please😋

A/N: Sorry I haven’t been quite as active lately y’all, I’d like to be posting a bit more often but I’ve just been really busy with school stuff lately now that I’m reaching the end of my final semester :’) Plus I haven’t been feeling well and have been in a lot of pain this past week, but writing’s been a big help in distracting me from my pain which is nice :] My requests are open right now, though, so if you have any requests please feel free to send them my way and they’ll be added to my request list (linked in my navi/pinned post) asap!

Taglist: @rebloglikeyouneedtoo @pasteldaze @papijean @deadmans-toe @trashy-bowtie @palenightmarepersona @eunoiasa @lady-juliette @swiftbyul @yeagerfushiguro @thekaylahub @applepie-macaroon @ghostofscarley @shinsosmatcha

If you’d like to be added to any of my taglists, you can fill out this form here! Thank you for your support <3

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leonstoenailunderhisbed · 11 days

Text

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Leon, Ada, and Claire. Especially on their relationships because I think they’re pretty interrelating so here’s another analysis made by yours truly <3

TW: mentions of mental illnesses, MY OPINION! + observations. This is strictly based on my knowledge. I’m majoring in English- doesn’t mean I’m 100% correct, it just means I’m pointing out some things that I thought were pretty cool. Take this with a grain of salt.

So I actually propose that we bring the color theory into play, mainly between Leon, Claire, and Ada.

In RE2R and in Infinite Darkness (death island too but I’ve yet to watch it), Leon is portrayed as blue. (His RPD uniform and his suit/jacket) back in my English class (film vs book) we talked about the different types of people and how the author/creator purposefully assigns a character a specific color.

By majority belief, the color blue represents sadness and often times calmness as well. However, I have a different view on why CAPCOM seems to love Leon in winter colors (blue/green/purple)

Leon is the definition of the Blue Character Theory- these types of characters are compassionate, loyal, confident, and can manage their emotions (keep it cool in other words) but sometimes these characters are prone to become over emotional (depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc.) and I actually wrote a small paragraph on Leon in infinite darkness about this because I found it so interesting that Leon- a cool and reserved guy, has these complicated emotions welled up inside him and one of the only ways we can tell is by the color of his representation. (Think of Euphoria and how colors really affected the way the characters act, especially Maddy and Cassie and how different they are.)

I’m also going to be hella bold and say that his eyes are a CLEAR representation on his character by color analysis. His eyes are blue, not only because he’s a white man- but because the “eyes are the windows to the soul” thing really does help us understand him better. They clearly did this on purpose to let the viewer catch a glimpse at Leon’s raw personality. His eyes are very expressive if you really REALLY analyze them.

And when you bring someone who is represented by the color red (Claire and Ada) there’s already an established connection between the two. Although Claire and Ada are way too different in personalities, I like to believe that they both have at least the same level of ambition, stubbornness and leadership. Red characters are known to lead or take matters into their own hands when the world is against them. If no one is going to help them then they’ll do it themselves.

In ID, Claire did her own investigation. She took charge and decided to that if no one would help her, including Leon, then she’ll just do whatever she can with the power she has. Ada is similar in that aspect. Ada has a way of getting things done her way, just like Claire. She uses the art of manipulation to make sure her plans are fulfilled, even if it means at the cost of others. She’s ambitious and goal-driven, much like Claire.

CAPCOM represents the two women in explicitly red or at least with red items (hair, dress, shoes, etc.) it makes me believe that they know what they’re doing when it comes to giving characters their own individuality.

Now, we know that blue and red are complementary colors based on the color wheel.

But we also know that Leon and Ada don’t really have a healthy relationship (I’ll get to this in another post near the future once I’ve got evidence) which is contrasting to Leon and Claire’s relationship. Which prompted the question: Why?

I mean, yeah Claire is Chris’s sister and by affiliation Leon enjoys her company. But it is also clear that the two of them worked very well back in RE2R (the fence scene) their chemistry and tension was high but when he’s with Ada, it seems different.

It is no doubt that Leon had/has (? I’m just as confused as bro tbh) a crush on Ada. I read somewhere from the notes on Leon that he was actually glad to have seen Ada in RE4R (not too sure for RE4OG since almost everything is about the remake)

CAPCOM purposefully follows the Red Oni/Blue Oni trope (a Japanese folk tale, shout-out to my professor for putting me on that) but what why are there two red ones and one blue one? Is CAPCOM keeping their choices open for Leon’s potential love life? I can’t say for sure what’ll happen or what everything means because this is something I over analyzed.

Remember, I’m only an English major student, I still believe my observations are pretty vague or at least a little bit underdeveloped. Hopefully sometime near the future I can make better analysis 🙏🏼

Also, tysm for all the amazing comments and reblogs 🥹🙏🏼 idk how to reply to reblogs but I really do appreciate the fact that you guys like my fics. I promise I have more to write (I have a list in my notes app lmao)

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #resident evil #id leon kennedy #re4 leon #leon #leon kennedy headcanons #di leon #claire redfield #resident evil 4 #resident evil 2 #resident evil claire #ada wong #resident evil ada wong #re4 ada #re4 remake #re2 remake

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tmntxthings · 1 year

Note

Heya! Do you think you could maybe do how Mikey would help with a panic attack?

一∑ I’m Here。・゜・

author’s notes: grace here, just wanted to say I’m winging it, I don’t think I’ve had a full blown panic attack before so maybe this is more just towards Mikey helping with anxiety?? hope you enjoy~ <3

warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, anxiety, panic attack? established relationship & platonic relationship:D (both cause why not) unedited

—————————————————————————

Mikey is a helper

Plain and simple, he was raised to be that way partly because of Raph (in my humble opinion) but mainly because that’s just who Mikey is as a person, he’s kind <3

If the two of you are friends and he sees you not doing so well in a crowd, say at a party. Lots of people, dim atmosphere, flashing lights. He would approach you carefully, making sure he’s grabbing your attention by waving his hands

“Hey, are you alright? Wanna take a breather with me outside?” He’s immediately offering up an exit from the situation. If you say no, he’s sticking by your side! Not in an uncomfortable way, but just in case you need him. Plus he’s a great conversationalist & dancer so it’s a win-win

If you say yes he’s leading the way, holding out his arm/hand for you to take if you are comfortable enough. Plus he wouldn’t want to lose you in the crowd, he doesn’t force his touch though.

He’d only do that if he felt like he had to protect you from something. Like someone dancing a little too obnoxiously, big movements, taking up too much space and almost hitting you as you try to pass by, he’ll get into your personal space so he can make sure you don’t get hit, he’ll act as your barrier

It doesn’t matter if he’s smaller/shorter, he shall make sure you don’t get hit one way or another. Even if that means pulling you close just in the nick of time! Once outside he’s talking a lot, his voice is light trying to distract you from your inner turmoil or if the two of you are close friends he would ask if you wanted to talk about it

He is Dr. Feelings after all! Certified c; “Dr. Feelings ready to help!! Let’s start from the beginning!”

If the two of you are dating or on the more romantic side he’s much more willing to hold you close. Very much initiating contact right away.

“Everything okay? Is it a panic attack?” He knows your signs already so it’ll only take a certain look of confirmation or a small nod on your part to get him into action. He’s pulling you close into his plastron, rubbing soft circles into your back. Whispering sweet affirmations into your ear, swaying slightly back and forth, it may look like the two of you are just slow dancing in the middle of the party!

If it’s more serious he’s grabbing you by the hand, keeping you close to his side as he navigates the crowd to the nearest exit. Once outside he’s helping you regain control of your breathing. “Alright babe, in and out, c’mon baby do it with me, you can do it,” his tone is so warm, so caring. He’s worried about you!

Once you’re breathing is back to normal he’s asking if you want to talk about it, he mainly wants to know what triggered the attack <3 bc maybe he can watch out for those warnings in the future! He’s a thoughtful bf through and through, “Do you need some water? Something to snack on?”

If you get emotional or start to cry he’s got the saddest smile. He wants nothing more than to turn that frown upset down. He hated to see you cry! No crying!! But as Dr. Feelings he knows its healthy so he just tells you to let it out, “It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here with you angel”

Soft kisses on your cheeks, wiping away those salty tears, telling you how beautiful you are! Shooing away all the bad thoughts and all the negative energy. Quite literally being a little silly, flicking away imaginary bad vibes around your head, “Get away from my partner!!” “Don’t worry babe I’ll protect you!” *insert dramatic ninja skills here*

“Wanna head out? I’m down to do whatever you wanna do!” Again letting you decide what you rather do. Options!!! “We can head home and snuggle up? Movie marathon?? I’ll bake you some cookies <3”

Mikey’s a foodie soooo yeah he’s gonna try and settle that stomach of yours. You want soup? Done! You want sweets? He’s baking! You want a full course meal? Well.. that may take the rest of the night cause you know this turtle is an overachiever but he’s absolutely whipping it up in the kitchen for you

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smolgloves · 10 days

Text

Not So Useless

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Summary: The gang is in the heart of the lair where they must fight the hag

Tw: Blood, gore, violence, mentions of sex, and near death experience

Despite the looming threat of facing a hag, Freya found a glimmer of joy in this dark cave. Tav.

They marched forward ready to strike anything that decided to jump out at them. Freya gave a soft sigh as she stared at Tav, there was just so much to admire when they were half the size as the others yet willing to take the lead to protect the group.

“It's cute, you know.” Astarion spoke in a hushed tone. “Looking at Tav like that.”

Freya snapped her head over to the elf, a puckish grin planted on his lips. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“There's no need to be coy.” He said with a breathy laugh. “You stare at them like a lovesick puppy.”

Immediately, Freya's eyes darted to Tav and the two women to make sure none of them heard what Astarion was implying, she couldn't believe he just said that out loud! “your eyes must be getting dull if that's what you see.”

The borrower's retort only fueled the teasing spark in his eyes as he gestured over to the unknowing halfling. “I don't blame you, Tav is a delicious treat; I would know, I've indulged myself.”

A tight knot formed in Freya's gut, her heart sputtered at the mere thought of them fucking. Was she… jealous? No, Freya was just annoyed that Astarion would bring this up all of a sudden. “Good for you.”

“Oh, don't be so tense, darling. I'm just trying to start a conversation.”

“I'd rather stay focused on the mission.” She said through tight lips.

Astarion scoffed. “You're no fun.”

“It's hard to be when a hag wants to use your people as potions.”

Astarion glanced over at the borrower on his shoulder, his quiet expression only made her grow more tense. “They cast you out, yet you still want to save them, why?” A scowl was painted on his face, yet despite the obvious disgust he voiced, there was a curiosity that lingered in his tone.

“Because they don't deserve to suffer from a hag.”

He gave a haughty laugh. “Really, because if I can't imagine wanting to lift a finger for someone who wronged me like that!”

“Of course, you wouldn't understand.” Freya gave a sharp exhale. “Not all of them are bad people, there's good people.”

“But did the good ones try to stop your exile?”

Silence hung in the air, Freya thought of her dear cousin, who voiced his opinion, yet didn't do much to stop his dad from making the call. Freya wanted to give Kes grace for not intervening more, but there was a selfish part of her that wished he would have told his father off right there! It wasn't fair, she has been more supportive of him than Uncle Eskel would ever be! Yet, he let this happen.

“That doesn't matter.” She quickly snapped back. “There was no stopping my exile once the elders made the decision.”

“And what makes you think your little leaves will be any different?” He shot a look so full of contempt it had Freya scrunching up her nose.

“Oh, why do you care?”

“I'm just wondering what you'll do if your little plan doesn't go over well.” He shrugged. “Where will you go if you never get accepted back to your colony?”

That was a scenario Freya had avoided thinking about because the truth was, she had no idea what she would do. Ideas flitted in her mind all at once, she could always live near the outskirts of the border, then she could at least see Kes. However, the outskirts weren't exactly a safe place to live especially with Goblins and gnolls roaming around. There was always the option to travel and see the world like her father used to, but not only is that dangerous, she would have no one to share the journey with. Defeating the hag and delivering the Aixosfeaf to the colony had to work in favor!

“Hold it.” Tav commanded quietly, making everyone stop and hold their breath. A shrill voice was spewing curses in the distance. Everyone crouched down and pressed forward, the shadows becoming their cloak as they reached an opening. Mushrooms of varying sizes cluttered the pit of the cave, with moss that lined the walls and plants sprouting from the dirt, had the circumstances been different, Freya would have been ecstatic to be in a place that grew such an array of herbs, but the writhing old woman kept her focused on the mission.

“Vile, wretched worms!” The hag wailed out as she plucked herbs and mushrooms that gathered around the area. Freya took note of the plants she grabbed, no doubt she was trying to make an elixir to aid her severed hand.

The group split, with Shadowheart stalking off in the shadows, past the hag without a trace. Karlach and Tav seemed to stick together, hiding behind boulders, but Astarion veered away from everyone, sneaking over to a rocky perch that clung to the shadows. It was the perfect spot to stay hidden while also keeping a tiny woman safe from the action.

As Astarion stayed crouched, Freya kept her eyes on Tav and Karlach, they approached the hag cautiously with their weapons ready the moment the vile wench tried anything. However when she eyed the two, she ceased her agony to throw on a menacing glare.

“Think you'll finish the job so easily?”

Tav gave a short laugh. “I've fought one too many hags to think a wounded hag would be any less dangerous.”

“You're smarter than you look, halfling.” The hag smirked. “Too bad you weren't smart enough to leave when you had the chance.”

Snarls from those redcaps echoed down the tunnels and soon a swarm of the vicious fey circled the two. Tension built up in Freya, she counted at least ten of those things, maybe even more! Tav and Karlach may be tough, but could they take on a whole swarm?

“Detono!” Tav thrust their hands forward as they spoke the words. A boom erupted and several of the redcaps plus the hag were thrusted back!

From the shadows, on the other side, Shadowheart shouted a phrase that sounded like Silentium, and a purple aura surrounded an area of the cave. Freya was about to ask what the cleric did but she got distracted by Karlach charging in swinging her greataxe at the hag. She staggered back trying to avoid being sliced to bits by the barbarian. Meanwhile Tav took on several redcaps at once, knocking them back with ease! However, Astarion drew his bow and shot at a redcap that seemed to be running away.

“What are you doing?” Freya snapped. “You're going to give away our position!”

“I'm trying to make sure Shadowheart keeps the spell up!” He retorted as he hopped down from the rocky perch they once were stationed at. “If her concentration breaks then that bloody hag is going to be able to use spells!”

The spike in adrenaline heightened the borrower's adrenaline, watching as several redcaps stopped their fight with Tav in favor of the woman in the shadows. Astarion chased after them, running into the dome that kept the area magic free. Borrowers weren't versed in magic but even Freya felt a change in the atmosphere, shouts from Tav sounded miles away. She turned back to see a look of shock written on their face; one that would've held her gaze if a sudden lurch hadn't caused Freya to nearly fall from Astarion's shoulder. She grabbed onto his collar, scrambling to keep herself from losing balance, Astarion had stabbed the redcap in the back, making it go limp. He didn't give the borrower on his shoulder a chance to catch her breath before he bolted off to the next one.

This redcap turned back to counter Astarion's attack with its sickle, swiping at him in an attempt to slice open his belly. Fortunately, the vampire was quicker than the redcap but he couldn't seem to land a blow as the creature creature was aware of his tricks.

Finding her footing, Freya was able to sit up and slip the leather collar between her under arm and torso, keeping her somewhat stable during the erratic movements. It was an awkward position but it was the best she could do as she gripped her peashooter and aimed for the redcap. Once it got dangerously close, Freya shot a pebble towards it, hitting it square on the nose.

It staggered back, letting out a howl before being promptly cut off by Astarion as he slashed his blade across its throat. There was a pause from him as he glanced at the dead creature, blood pooling at his feet. “Seems like you're worth more than just being hag bait.”

Freya rolled her eyes. “Just try and keep your shoulder steady!”

“I'll do my very best, darling.” He gave a cheeky grin before making a mad dash to the next prey.

Pride swelled inside Freya's chest when she caught a glimpse at him. Astarion could throw a hundred backhanded compliments her way but it didn't hide the approving look that fired in his crimson eyes.

Astarion's blade pierced another redcap in the back. Just in time too, as it had Shadowheart cornered. She glanced at her ‘saviors’ before shooting a radiant bolt at an enemy.

“I don't think this is keeping her safe.”

“No, I'm keeping you safe.” Astarion fired back with a smug tone that matched Shadowheart.

“I'm fine, anyways.” Freya scoffed, keeping watch for more redcaps.

“See, she can handle herself.” Astarion gave a short laugh. “I'm not sure why anyone doubted her abilities.”

“Careful Astarion, keep talking like that and you may yet like her.” Shadowheart said teasingly.

“It'll take more than a few lucky shots for me to ever like a borrower.” A haughty laugh erupted from him.

Freya broke her gaze from the battlefield to glare at the vampire. If they weren't in the middle of a fight, she would absolutely swing at that smug face of his!

“Look out!” Karlach's voice carried over to the three. A redcap had broken away from Karlach's range and charged after them with terrifying agility. It lunged forward and Astarion only had a split second to duck away. While he and Freya got lucky, Shadowheart was not and got her arm sliced by the sickle. She cried out and in a moment the spell silencing aura disappeared.

“Gods damn it!” Growled Astarion as he backstabbed the last of the redcaps.

There was a chilling laughter from the hag, Freya snapped her head in her direction but she was nowhere to be seen. Dread washed over her as she felt like a sitting duck about to be hunted.

“Keep your guard up.” Shadowheart warned.

Despite her hammering heart, Freya scanned the area for anything out of the ordinary. The battlefield was eerily silent, with everyone remaining still as statues. She briefly glanced at Tav, who looked like they were ready to dash over to her and Astarion, but the borrower broke eye contact when she noticed a large mushroom that seemed to radiate a sickly green color near the halfling. It took a second for her to realize that was Deathsbreath.

“Get out of there, Tav!” She shouted but it was too late, as spores erupted from the mushroom and sent Tav tumbling forward, coughing up bile. The hag revealed herself to lunge at Tav, only for Karlach to rush up and swing her ax at her. Shadowheart and Astarion rushed towards Tav, helping them up.

“I'm alright.” Tav waved off Shadowheart's healing spell to look up at Astarion. “Get her out of here, now.”

“Hol-!” Freya’s protests were cut short by Astarion making a mad dash for the exit. She tugged at his collar urging him to turn back, he didn't even bother to give her an annoyed glance. However, he stumbled to a halt, snarling a bunch of profanities towards the ground. Freya followed his gaze to find twisting vines wrapping themselves around his ankles. He took his dagger and began slicing his way to freedom but for every one vine that was torn away, three more snaked their way around the vampire's limbs!

“Get out of here while you still can!” He ordered.

“I'm not leaving you guys behind!” Freya snapped, she frantically searched for an opportunity to free Astarion. “Maybe I can help!”

“The hells you can!” Astarion bared his fangs at an attempt to scare her into listening. “Don't be stupid!”

“Didn't realize trying to save you was stupid!” Freya sneered, pulling out her tiny dagger in a futile attempt to slice the massive vines. A vile screech from behind broke her attention, Freya turned to see the hag charging at them with her claw-like nails out to attack. The borrower screamed and squeezed her eyes shut, pressing herself into the cold neck of Astarion as a foolish attempt to protect herself.

Then…. nothing. Freya blinked a few times, before finally looking over to where the hag was. To her shock, she stood a few feet away, that menacing glare no longer aimed at them but instead at Tav, who stood in between them. Blood dripped down from their side staining their robes, as each breath they took became shakier.

“To think Ethiel was bested by you.” The hag spoke coldly. “Did you really think sacrificing yourself for those two would prolong their lives? That I wouldn't toss you aside and tear their innards out?”

To the surprise of everyone, Tav responded with a weak laugh. “Did you truly think…. saving them was my only… reason for doing this?”

Using all their strength, Tav thrusted a fist forward into the hag's chest, their hand slicing through like a knife to butter. Blood oozed down their arm, and the hag stared down at the tiny monk in horror. Then her face twisted in pain the further Tav seemed to reach into her chest cavity. Finally, the hag staggered back, clutching the wound in an attempt to stop the blood from flowing out. She dropped to her knees, never breaking eye contact with them. “You… fool.” The hag uttered before finally collapsing on the ground, letting out a final breath.

Once they knew she was dead, Tav stumbled back, wheezing out each breath.

“Shit! Tav!” Astarion scrambled out of the now shriveling vines and rushed over to the halfling. He wasn't even trying to be careful with Freya on his shoulder, but she couldn't blame him as she was ripped out of her shock when she laid her eyes on Tav. Their dark skin grew pale and their eyes were bloodshot, Freya wasn't sure if they were hurting more from the deathsbreath, or from the blood loss, but it was clear. Tav was dying!

“Bloody hells!” Shadowheart exclaimed as she ran up to Tav with Karlach. She quickly knelt down to heal them. “Stand back, I got this.”

Before she could even lay hands on them, tremors made everyone stumble, Freya had to grip onto Astarion's collar to keep from falling off. Stalagmites falling from the ceiling and rocks tumbling forward, the ground cracked around them. The hag may have died, but she wasn't going to go without taking her killers with her.

“Let's get out of here first!” Karlach shouted.

Astarion wasted no time pulling Tav close to his chest. His arms shook as he stood to his full height and ran. He kept his eyes on the two women who were already heading for the exit, but Freya just stared down at Tav. Their eyes squeezed shut. Would they even have time to get out of this crumbling cave before they succumb to their alignments?

Her thoughts were immediately silenced as the quakes intensified and made the quick footed vampire stumble forward. Then the ground cracked underneath his feet and shattered. Gravity did its job in pulling the three down the open cavern, Freya's heart lodged itself in her throat, sealing a scream that desperately wished to break out. All she could do was watch in horror as darkness shrouded the three and they were swallowed up by the earth.

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