#the universe is trying to look out for them and i cant blame it

[nicolesainz]

Darling (JB 22)

Jenson Button x f!reader (Mark Webbers Daughter)

A/N: Ya’ll can blame the Brawn Doc (which btw was great, go check it out)

Summary: A little visit to your dad’s old friend after the Goodwill festival wouldn’t hurt,right?

Warnings: minors dni, +18, suggestive smut, edging, fingering, p! in v!, age gap (reader is 22)

“Hey Jense, would you mind keeping an eye on her? Missus and I will fly back to Australia but she’s staying here for a friend’s party”

My father would’ve never let me stay in a hotel. It had to be Jenson. Out of all his friends, all the people in the fucking UK, it had to be him.

And reminded that I’m 22. Not underage. And I can legally drink, thank you very much.

“Of course mate. I have a spare room she can use. I’ll barely be home this weekend.” It was the British Grand Prix and he is a presenter for Sky Sports, hence why he won’t be around.

To be fair, I only watch the post race show just to admire him. But my dad doesn’t need to know that, or Jenson himself. He doesn’t have to know how handsome he is or how smart he sounds given his knowledge in Formula One.

What’s more attractive than that?

And the fact that I have secret screenshots of his shots in my phone, but again, no one needs to know.

“Let me get her luggage full of god knows what type of dresses. I don’t even know when she bought them!”

"I hope you know how old I am, dad" I roll my eyes at his comment as Jenson lets out a small giggle, earning a death glare from my dad.

"Before she leaves the house, please make sure to see what she's wearing. And if there are any boys in sight." my dad warns him, as if I am going to enroll myself in the army and fight the enemy, which to him, would've been more preferable compared to a party.

"Got it. We definitely know that you think she's 17" Jenson replies and my mother laughs along, as I try not to burst out.

"If you side with Y/N, I will break your Porche." My dad's voice raise and I glance at Jenson who has a look plastered on his face as if he was offended and scared by the threat.

"I have kids myself, I think she's going to be safe with me. Come on Mark! I was the only driver you never crashed with, kinda." He takes the luggage away from my mother's hands and waves them goodbye as I go and hug them.

"Take care kiddo and if you need anything, im a call away. Also if you want to go to the paddock, the passes are under my name" he kisses my head after having me squeezed in a tight hug.

"Y-yes dad, I know. Now please let me go because I cant breathe."

"Sorry" he sets me free and I join Jenson's side. God he's tall and broad.

"Alright now, shall we?" he looks down at me and I nod, unable to utter a single word, even though I've know him my whole life.

The boys in my university were dying to hear stories with the senior formula one drivers, coming from a daughter of one. It's a nice feeling to narrate all the success and glory of this sport.

"Seriously though, your bag is very light. Are you even carrying anything in here?" Jenson asks, weighing up and down my luggage, flexing his muscles as I try not to drool all over the place.

"Only necessities. Dresses, shoes, makeup, few outfits for the race and condoms." the last one quite shocked him but also was a way of teasing him, given my major crush.

"You have condoms, yet I didn't hear you say panties"

"Won't be needing any"

"And why is that, may I ask?"

"Cause I like to be free. More access and more fun" I wink at him and I stare at his lips, a smirk is growing as each word is leaving mine.

"So you are telling me, that right now, underneath this short but nonetheless breathtaking dress, no panties are worn?"

I get closer to him and whisper softly in his ear:

"Wanna see for yourself?"

Honestly, don't ask me where I found this much confidence and especially with someone twice my age. And a friend of my dad's.

"Behave yourself darling" he coughs lightly to clear his throat and grabs me by the waist, so my dress doesn't float from the summer breeze.

"And what if I don't want you, Mr. Button?"

"Then you'll wish you had never said that" he growls and immediately opens me the door to his McLaren.

When he gets in the drivers seat, he wastes no time and gets on the road instantly. During the ride, there's a comfortable silence filling the atmosphere, until the air coming out of Jenson's window pulls up my dress and his hand quickly falls on my thigh, holding it down once more.

Jenson decides to roll up his window but his hand remains on my thigh and this time, is holding it firmly and starts caressing it from the inside.

Soft sighs leave my mouth, but controlling them is inevitable when his touch was all I have been craving since I turned 18. His foot hits the gas harder, speeding and driving in between the other slower cars. He reminds me of the Jenson back in his Brawn days and I can feel myself pooling just at the thought.

It was the very right time when his hand cupped my bare pussy, feeling the wetness caused by barely a thought of him. The slight touch of his fingers on my trembling self has my knees going paralyzed. I feel like crying from pleasure and yet I don't even know if he's doing that on purpose to embarrass me or if he's actually enjoying it too.

"Oh baby, you're definitely not behaving yourself" he says as his index finger draws circles around my clit. My legs are clenching his hand inside me as the other one holds the steering wheel, looking at his knuckles that have turned white.

"Jenson" I breathe out and moan simultaneously as he starts pumping two fingers inside me fiercely, letting myself to his mercy and unable to react.

"This behavior will have consequences young lady. I warned you" he lets a soft kiss on the crock of my neck and feeling his beard scratching it, I go absolutely insane.

"Then punish me sir" I blurt out without thinking and Jenson drives in seconds at the spot in front of his house, stops the car and places me on top of his lap with just one hand.

Jenson's lips crash into mine without wasting a second as his fingers play with my uncontrollably wet pussy. The feeling of moaning is surely necessary and I don't hold back. My tongue dances with his and the kiss gets deeper like his fingers, hitting perfectly my soft spot.

"You are going to be the death of me" Jenson says as his mouth falls on my neck, sucking it off like there's no tomorrow. My hands try to unbuckle his belt and eventually make it to the part where I can feel his erection growing. It's true what they say, older men do it better.

In other instances I would have been furious, but Jenson ripping my dress, just so he can have better access at my breasts is incredibly hot. I don't care that I am left vulnerable at his sight. At this I was pleading it.

My breast hurt from his kisses and I know in a few hours small red dickies will be covering the surface. My fingers decide to trace the shape of his thick cock but I can tell he wants to feel me. I have teased him and he me, for way too long.

"If you keep being naughty I won't let you cum, dear" a groan escapes his body as I take his length in my hands and caress the veins that have popped out.

"Then I want you to fill me up with your cum" I take him by surprise and I can sense his heartbeat raising from worry. He regards me as something innocent, precious and fragile. Which I am. But I feel ready and I am.

"Are you sure? I mean, have you? Uh? Had sex before?"

"I-uh-well, no. But-"

"Baby we can't do it here. You don't deserve to have your first time on a car. You deserve to be worshipped."

Jenson's words make me blush and my heart was flattering as if I was a fifteen years old again, simply watching him race and get multiple podiums.

He looks around and opens the door of his house and then quickly rushes with me inside and shuts it with such force, my legs started trembling.

Suddenly, he picks me up and carries me all the way to his bedroom. A dark room filled with some of his most iconic trophies and with his smell that has been covering my entire body since the moment I entered his car.

He turns on the soft baby lights on the bedrest and takes a look at my flushed self, covered with hickies he's gifted me. His eyes scan me from head to toe as if he's about to feast.

"I want you to tell me to stop whenever you feel uncomfortable in any way." He kisses me softly and I nod my head, knowing that he would never hurt anyone.

Jenson stands up and with his strong arms parts my legs so he can have a clear vision of my already swollen womanhood. My breast are half showing from inside my bra and my lips are bitten to the core. I am a mess but he seems to like it.

He removes his shirt in quick motions revealing his god like crafted body with the hints of dark ink covering his lower v and shoulder. I had never seen them before and I am was very pleased with what was in front of my eyes.

It doesn't take him too long to strip off his trousers and be left with simply his boxers that were trying to hold in his hardened cock and my patience as well. They were giving me a preview of what was about to happen.

As Jenson lowered his body his hands were hoisting down his boxers, revealing himself and it wasn't just my mouth that was drooling but also my pussy.

His hands now were on the insides of my thighs, holding them fiercely, whilst mine were hanging around his neck. I felt like my heart was about t burst out of my chest.

"Are you ready baby?"

I was at loss for words so I gave him a final kiss for reassurance that he could continue.

In slow motions, he lowered even more and started inserting himself inside me, pumping slowly as I was trying to get used to his size. My cries were out of control as Jenson was deepening himself and my pussy was stretched to its limits.

"Jesus, you're clenching me so well darling" he breathed out and I tried to open my legs wider for his pleasure. Jenson was panting on the hem of my neck and upping the pace of his thrusts.

"Dear lord this feels so good" It feels better than good. As if I am in the seventh heaven. I don't think any man will ever make me experience this. And I don't think I want to either.

"Say that again" he demands with a harder thrust, hitting my G-spot, earning the biggest moan of the night, echoing at the entire house.

"You make me feel so damn good Jenson" I gulp hard as I try to catch my breath and scratch his back from the pain that this gives me.

"And I shall be the only one darling" he hoists me up and removes my bra with a single movement, freeing my breasts and enjoying the sight, as they are bouncing up and down along with the trusts.

"Only you Jenson" I scream his name as loud as I can and his chest fills with pride as I am reaching my height.

"Cum sweetheart. Let go" I can't hold it in much longer and I cum all over his cock. He doesn't remove himself from inside me and I don't want to. This felt so right even though for some it's very wrong.

"That was, perfect" I say in a whispering manner as I am unable to speak louder. I am so wasted but full of thrill.

"You deserve it. You deserve to be treated like that dear"

#jenson button #jenson button x reader #jenson button x you #fanfic writing #f1 drivers

[transmascnaotoshirogane]

safety net

hello linked universe fandom, we have returned after months with queer rabbits. tried a more spaced-out format, trying to please people who said our other writing style gets too confusing. (i just think they cant read -dex)

ao3 link; x

“What’re you doin up here, rabbit?”

“Ah—oh! Honeybee, hi. Sorry, did I wake you up?”Ravio turned to the side, watching as Legend sat down next to him on the roof.

Legend just hummed. “What’s wrong?”

“...huh?”

“You only do this when you’re upset. What’s wrong?”Legend shouldn’t push him, not really, but it’s the only way Ravio ever admits when something’s bugging him. They’re as stubborn as each other sometimes.

For a minute, it’s quiet, the only sounds heard being each other's breaths. Then, “I get scared when you’re away,”Ravio whispered, barely loud enough to be heard, “I get scared that you won’t come back. That you’ll get hurt, or worse. I mean—you got stabbed, bun. That’s—that’s scary.”

“I don’t like being away either,”Legend admitted. “I never know if you’re safe when I’m gone. Realistically I know you are, but..”The hero trailed off, ending with a vague, “Yeah.”

Ravio let out a breath. “Yeah.”He repeated with a small laugh.

Another silence followed, but this one felt…lighter than the one before. No baited breath, waiting for one of them to admit to anything.

“Wouldn’t want Hyrule’s best merchant to die off, would we?”Legend grinned slightly, a lopsided little thing.

Ravio couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Well lucky, I don’t want my favourite customer dying anytime soon!”

“Can we go back inside now? It’s freezing out here.”

“Well, Mr. Hero, maybe you would be warmer if you didn’t insist on wearing a dress in all weather!”Ravio tutted at him, but began to unwind his scarf from his neck.

“It’s not a dress! They’re tunics, not dresses. And they’re way more comfortable.”Legend complained, arms crossed.

“Whatever you say, honeybun.”He replied, simply looping his scarf around Legend’s neck a few times. “There we go~ You should be warmer now! I won’t charge you for this one.”

“You would charge me for it?”

“...nah, probably not.”He admitted with a sigh.

“Good. Guess that means I can take your scarf more often then, right?”

“You like it that much?”Ravio laughed, face tinting slightly red when Legend nodded in response. “Wow.”

“It smells like you.”

“Oh.”The merchant paused, not having expected that. “That’s nice of you to say, Mr. Hero.”

“Mhm.”Legend hummed out, leaning against the other. “...I’m sorry I got hurt.”

“No no no, don’t you dare apologise for getting hurt. You didn’t exactly do it yourself!”Ravio laughed. “...did you?”

“No, Rav, what the fuck?”

“Hey, you can’t blame me for asking!”Ravio cackled. “For all I know, you stabbed yourself so your lovely, caring boyfriend would nurse you back to health~”

“I’d rather die.”Legend huffed. “I wouldn’t trust you to look after me with a stab wound anyways.”

Ravio gasped, loud and dramatic. “That’s so mean! I would take the best care of you!”

“Yeah right.”

“I would and you know it. I’d take the best care of my prince,”He grinned, throwing the nickname in there just to see the hero go bright red, laughing when the other pushed him away, embarrassed.

“I-I told you not to call me that.”Legend complained, though the blush on his face and the way his ears pointed downwards betrayed any semblance of annoyance.

“Fine~”Ravio giggled, nuzzling Legend’s shoulder. “I won’t call you my prince. Even though it’s true.”

“Rav!”

Another laugh.

“We should probably go back inside though. You’re right, it’s a little cold.”

“A little? It’s fucking freezing.”

“You didn’t have to come after me.”Ravio offered a hand to the hero, helping him climb down the side of the roof.

“Yes I did,”Legend insisted. “I needed to make sure you were okay, rabbit.”

“Awh, that’s so sweet of you~”

“Go to hell.”The hero replied bluntly, sighing quietly when he was standing on the grass again, waiting for Ravio to hop down from the roof.

“I’ll probably meet you there, Mr. Hero.”

“Probably? Nah. You’ll absolutely meet me there. No doubt.”Legend snorted, heading inside the house when Ravio finally gathered the courage to jump down from the roof.

“Guess you’re never getting rid of me, then!”Ravio replied cheerfully, pushing his hood down once they got inside. He doesn’t understand it, but Legend has a rule about hats and hoods being worn inside. Says it’s bad luck or something.

The two made their way back to their bedroom, quiet so as to not disturb any of the heroes currently sleeping on the floor in the living room.

“You put your prosthetic on just to check on me?”Ravio realised belatedly, as they made it to the bedroom and Legend sat on their bed and began to remove the aforementioned metal leg.

“Couldn’t get onto the roof without it.”Was all he got.

Ravio wants to tease him for it, or remind him that he didn’t have to come and check on him, but any words he had died in his throat as he settled into bed, Legend curling up into his side. Legend was worried about him.

It’s…not too surprising—Legend’s always cared in his own way—but it still catches the merchant off guard.

“Rulie healed the wound after it happened,”The hero mumbled. “Made sure there wasn’t gonna be any lasting damage outside of a scar.”

“That’s good,”Ravio hummed, running his hands through the other’s hair. It’s suspiciously pinker than usual, but he won’t ask about it. Not right now, anyways. Maybe later. “Sucks that there’s gonna be a scar, though.”

“Eh,”The other shrugged, “It’s just another one to the collection.”

“Honeybee…”

“I know,”He sighed. “Sorry. It’s just easier to think of them as a collection instead of injuries.”

“It’s okay.”Ravio assured him, pressing a soft kiss to Legend’s forehead. “...you’re gonna take the scarf off to sleep, right?”

“Um…I wasn’t planning to, no, but if you’re worried about me choking or something I can take it off.”He laughed quietly. “Do you want me to remove it?”

“If..you don’t mind. I just worry that it’ll get tangled.”

“Fair enough,”The hero shrugged, unwinding the scarf and placing it on the table beside the bed. “I’m really fucking tired, so I’m definitely going to fall asleep soon, but if you need to leave again, wake me up. Okay?”

“Okay, good night bunny.”

“Night, rabbit.”Legend pressed a kiss to Ravio’s cheek before settling, burying his face into Ravio’s neck.

He was asleep within minutes, which isn’t really anything new. It warms Ravio’s heart a little, knowing that Legend feels safe with him. The merchant continued to play with the hero’s hair, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the other’s breathing. He knows he can’t protect Legend when he’s out adventuring, when he’s doing his job, but… At least he can protect him here, and at least he knows Legend is safe here. That’s all he can really ask for. Ravio knows he can’t make him feel safe all the time, but he’s glad he can at least make him feel safe in his own home. Which is a bit of an odd sentence, but he knows that Legend struggled with that a little bit before he came along. He sighed, closing his eyes. He shouldn’t still be awake, Legend will worry if he has bags under his eyes again. At least he fell asleep easily tonight, which probably had something to do with having the hero asleep in his arms, safe and sound.

#the rainbow twinks #rainbow ramblings #rainbow writings #oliver and dex #the rainbows linked universe tag #linked universe #lu #linked universe legend #lu legend #linked universe ravio #lu ravio #legend/ravio #ravio/legend #ravioli

[an-aspiration]

Marshmellow

warnings: tooth rotting fluff (i hate writing this but i cant help myself)

summary: you and carl spend a cozy winter evening together being a cozy couple 500 words

December 19th.

Today was breezy and crisp, perfect for sweaters and staying indoors. It didn’t snow like you and Carl had hoped bur it eventually would. You were stirring hot cocoa in the kitchen of your shared home. As you peered out the window into the dim sky, it gave you nostalgia to the winters of your childhood. christmas presents, santa, cozy socks. This year you tried your best to re create those memories. You put romantic gifts under the tree for Carl and he did for you.

Returning to your cup of cocoa, you licked the liquid off the spoon and put it in the sink to wash later. You decided to add sprinkles and gooey marshmallows to the cup, now in a hurry to get back upstairs, you burnt your hand on the bottom side of the cup and winced.

You glanced at the red mark left on the inside of your palm cursing yourself for being mindless at the moment. You went on and walked up the stairs with it in hand to carls room. As you pushed the door open with your free hand you saw carl reading one of the forbidden books you hid in your third drawer.

“Carl what are you doing!!”

He jumped and attempted to hide the book behind his back. “Its not what it looks like”

“What the book crawled out of the drawer and started talking to you?” You joked

“You can’t blame me! I ran out of comics and those books have to be very interesting if you’re so serious about keeping them a secret. But I’m sorry I’ll put it back” He said revealing ‘Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur’

An ounce of sympathy spread through your heart and you settled on the fact that it might not be so bad to read that book just once. For the sake of the holidays.

“Ugh fine, we’ll read it together.” You said taking a seat on his bed and patting on his spot.

He excitedly sat down and handed you the book, and took the Cocoa in hand.

You both sat criss cross apple sauce, shoulder to shoulder. The warmth in the room was coming from the softness of the moment.

You opened the book to your favorite chapter and cleared your throat.

You read

“when my mother was pregnant

with her second child i was four

i pointed at her swollen belly confused at how

my mother had gotten so big in such little time

my father scooped me in his tree trunk arms and

said the closest thing to god on this earth

is a woman’s body it’s where life comes from

and to have a grown man tell me something

so powerful at such a young age

changed me to see the entire universe

rested at my mother’s feet”

You paused to see if Carl was enjoying the chapter and saw him with the most loving expression you had ever seen, which made you smile from ear to ear.

He took a sip out of the mug and brought it to your lips to try. It was smooth and piping hot, but the eyes he gave you made your temperature rise.

He slipped his hands into your hair and kissed you leaving your lips all pink. Simple silence filled the air for moments, you both set down what you had in hand. Both of you had done this and much more together but this time felt like verification that it was meant to be happening.

Once you pulled away he brought his head down to give your shoulder a kiss then handed the book back to you to read. “please”

A/N!!

writing this gave me the heebie jeebies but i think its good. also sorry if when i reply to you or follow you back it says a diff username i’m lowkey a boomer when it comes to technology

#carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes fanfiction #carl grimes you #carl grimes fic #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes imagines

[cattonicdragon]

Could you do viper tigress Amy and bendy x a snake reader that can hypnotize people that look in to there eyes.

Viper,tigress,Amy and bendy with a hypnotist snake G/N S/O

Why yes of course I can,ur taste btw is *chefs kiss*. Has been proof read

Characters are as close to canon as possible but will still be ooc

Viper

She finds your hypnosis eyes EXTREMLY endearing

She heard about snakes that have the power to hypnotise people with their eyes but had never seen or met one

If your unable to control it shes very gently and sweet about it

If you accidentally hypnotise her she wont blame you,as long as it's on accident

Shes finds your eyes very beautiful and if you were ever insecure about them she would try her best to reasure you that they're beautiful and that having the gift is out of your control

Snake cuddles

If you wanted to she would train you in kung fu,aslong as your ok with it though,kung fu can be very hard and draining to some

You will almost 100% meet the furious five and po

Speaking of which,they're all super curious and impressed with your hypnosis ability

They're also rlly supportive so yea 👍

If you ever joined the furious five shed be super protective of you,she dosnt mind along as your safe

Tigress

Much like viper shes only ever heard about snakes with hypnosis abilitys,especially since tigress has mainly stayed in the valley of peace due to her living in the jade palace

She thinks your eyes looks beautiful and will compliment them.

If your insecure about them she honestly wouldnt understand,she thinks your eyes are an amazing thing and great for battle

Non the less though she will reasure you and be supportive

As for meeting the furious five,she will stand next to you and glare at them,basically telling them that one wrong move will lead to their early grave.

Safe to say,you were immidatly accepted and praised by the furious five+po

If you joined the furious five she would try let you be independent,she knows that sometimes people want to prove themselves

She will still be protective though

She loves to just pick you up and cuddle

If you cant controll your power she isnt one to run away from things,she will help in any physical way possible

You two are literally a power couple,and a force to be reckoned with,you have a tiger who's practically a kung fu master and a snake that can hypnotise you,yea that seems a tad bit op

If you ever wanted to learn kung fu she'd happily be your master,as long as you know the risks etc

Amy

Although there are many powerfull and unique mobians in the sonic universe you are quite unique

She finds your eyes really pretty

If you have problems controlling your power she can try help,sonic must have struggled when controlling his speed so you can controll your powers to with a bit of practice

She likes giving you gifts that are the same colour of your eyes,she does this because she Hope's it will help you like your eyes abit more

Shes good at giving people motivational speeches and so I doubt shed refuse to tell you how brilliant your eyes are

Should you every accidental hypnotise her,shed probally not care and say that's it's all right.

She will not hesitate to randomly hug you or shower you with kisses,shes a big fan of PDA

She loves making personalized and matching gadgets for you

She dosnt care that your a snake and likes the contrast between herself-a hedgehog and you-a snake

She makes snake friendly treats for you and might even find out if theres any sweet treats that'll help you with your power

You and her are a pretty good duo in battle,you hypnotise people so it makes them an easy target for Amy's mighty hammer to strike apon.

Bendy

Honestly hes quite surprised

Hes never had someone like you enter his inky realm

Very very intrigued by your eyes,your eyes dont actually affect him

Will not let you anywhere near sammy,the lunatic will probally try abuse your power so your not gonna see him

He feels abit at ease knowing that your power works on alot of the ink creatures in the workshop.

That dosnt mean he still isnt protective,when hes around his protectiveness goes through the roof

But he'll let u do ur thing,only helping when your in life threatening danger or if you ask

If you had trouble with ur power he'd only help if u asked seeing as it dosnt affect him.

He'll ask if you can help get rid of intruders once they enter the studio,he dosnt rlly mind your answer,although he'd like the extra help,he dosnt mind you declining his offer

The fact that yours a snake means your able to travel throughout the studio easier

although since he ends up keeping you alive he does ask that if you come across an intruder to alert him

A/n ty for requesting this I had alot of fun working on this,I kinda didnt know what to do for bendy tho lol.

#cattonic writes #requests #x reader #kung fu panda #kung fu panda x reader #sonic the hedgehog #sonic x reader #sonic characters x reader #amy rose #amy rose x reader #viper #viper x reader #tigress #tigress x reader #bendy and the ink machine #bendy x reader #snake reader

[yandere-romanticaa]

random brainroot- while i love a yandere that hides their darling away, i also love the idea of one that, either because they are powerful enough that they have connections every where, or they made it clear that they would hurt the people darling holds dear if they try anything, but they let them wander free, have adventures and see the world, knowing very, very well that still they cant escape them no matter how far they go.

Madara Uchiha and Gilgamesh were the first ones that came to mind as I read this.

Carrying the Uchiha name is already a bad omen to most people who cross paths and blades with him but once he's clan head it's fair game. The ways he makes you feel inferior is by constantly telling you how weak you are and how you'll never make it out alive in this cruel world. He tells your stories of his youth, tales that any sane person would want to forget but they clutch onto him like mud, tainting his perception of you and ultimately sharing his sentiment of how in his own way he truly does love you and wants to protect you, even if he has a hard time saying the latter part.

Just merely glancing at him one can see the heavy look in Madara's eyes, how he watches your every move no matter how small and insignificant, he is always watching. That damned sharingan of his only makes the situation even more frightening than it out to be, the red color suddenly overtaking his usually onyx eyes as anyone foolish enough that comes close to you suddenly feels the need to simply floor it.

He's a bit hesitant in letting you wander as you please but there are times when he's in the mood for a walk and he's there to accompany you. He's confident in protecting you from anything and anyone that might strike.

This arrogant prick I swear, I have no words when it comes to him. Literally everything you are, have and will be is his to claim, his to touch, his to love, his to protect, his to obsess. With the way he casually brushes you off most of the time you couldn't be blamed for thinking that he just did not care about you at all but if your senses are keen enough you'll be able to see how his gaze lingers on your body a lot more than it ought to, how strained he is to actually listen to what you're saying. In truth he's actually absorbing everything you say like a sponge, nothing goes unnoticed by him.

He's also curious about your own endeavors and adventures, please do be so kind as to entertain him with your many stories, he would love to hear them all. Now now, don't be shy, be as detailed and graphic as you want, don't spare any expense.

Gilgamesh likes to say that he could toss you aside any time he wanted and there is truth in that statement. He could use you and toss you away like a piece of garbage but the only difference is that he doesn't want to.

Even if you manage to escape, even if you do anything that gets you far away, you should know that he allowed you to do so. He likes the chase, he likes to see you squirm and there is no greater prize than you in his arms, tired, bloody and exhausted and him smirking proudly, knowing that no matter where you go, what universe you travel to, not even death can tear you apart from him.

#yandere male #yandere #yandere x reader #yancore #yanderecore #yandere aesthetic #yandere imagines #yandere x you #uchiha madara #madara uchiha #yandere madara uchiha #yandere madara #gilgamesh x reader #gilgamesh #yandere gilgamesh

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 1 Episodes 7-9

Episode 7

-“good try, doggies” she’s so cute

-RAYLAS HUMAN IMPRESSION I CANT

-“snow elf.”

-“I need something more personal than a shirt”

“Underwear?”

HHAHAHHA

-also if Soren or Claudia make any bad choices in the future I’ve decided that it is not their fault in the slightest thank you

-When Rayla said she was gonna ask nicely I didn’t think she was actually gonna ask nicely

-“I’m just a simple human girl who like the human things like bread and complaining all the time!”

“No, you’re an elf!”

“Fine I’m an elf.”

-bruh if that didn’t get it off what the heck will

-ELLIS AND AVA’S BACKSTORY OH MY GOSH

-“There she is! She’s an elf!” BRO WHYD YOU HAVE TO EXPOSE HER LIKE THAT WHATD SHE DO TO YOU

Episode 8

-ELLIS IS BACK

-even if the healer can heal her hand it wouldn’t be any use because the band is still on

-could not be more unrelated but I just remembered that Callum mentioned a jerk face dance in episode 1 or 2 and I can’t even describe how much I NEED to see that

-“How do you plan for indescribable terrors? I feel like you need to be able to describe them first”

-“Flash! Woof! Whoosh! Slish-slash!”

“…is he okay?” “I think he’s finally cracked under the pressure”

-“Callum you may be a dummy but you’re not a fool!”

-don’t worry Callum, I appreciate your weird way of explaining plans

-bruh why does Viren even care about the elf anymore

-if y’all don’t start appreciating Callum’s humor RIGHT NOW-

-Bait you had one job

-I can’t believe they almost got killed by an oversized earthworm

-WHAT WAS IN THE BAG

-why am I getting weird vibes from Ellis all of the sudden is she gonna betray them or something? Like I have a feeling him telling her about the primal stone was a mistake but I can’t put my finger on why

-“knowing you is definitely worth losing a hand for” AWWWWW

-“I’m just a guy who can draw and make wry comments from time to time” yeah that’s why I love you what about it

-how did they just blind a creature with no eyes

-“Get zapped! Hahaha get zapped by the zap hand!” I love him so much

-“I knew whoosh should have been part of 🫡The Plan🫡”

-oh yeah and Ellis I’m sorry I ever doubted you

-WHAT DID VIREN DO TO THE ELF AND WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE NOW

-THE HECK DO YOU MEAN NO MIRACLE HEALER HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN THIS

Episode 9

-boy the heck do you mean you can talk to animals how did we not know this

-like talk talk to them or just communicate cause those are two very different things

-“fitting in is boring anyway”

-so is this a magical ability or is he just really good with animals and he thinks it’s more than that because he’s a kid, like I’m not saying he’s lying but I also don’t blame them for not believing him

-“you might say it’s, the ka-tallest” HAHAHA that was funny idc

-hey for every only child out there who doesn’t know how to write an accurate sibling relationship, just watch Soren and Claudia

-bruh there’s MUMMIES in this universe???

-WAS THE MUMMY THE HEALER IS THE HEALER DEAD

-her hand looks so bad oh my gosh

-THAT FACE SCARED ME YALL KNOW I DONT DO JUMP SCARES

-Callum is me when I lose a spider

-“I’m disgusted, and a little impressed” hahahaha

-I don’t understand this animal thing at all he’s being so ominous about it

-“then you have to do the thing” JERKFACE DANCE????

-JERKFACE DANCE

-“I should have figured it out, they were all illusions” um no actually I think you investigated a little too much

-ok but is she gonna give the collar back tho cause ik we love Ava but she’s gonna have it rough without it

-ik for a fact the egg’s not dead cause the show is literally named after it so stop teasing me with this

-Callum honey great idea but we gotta think these things through

-OH MY GOSH ITS SO CUTE

-DRAGONDRAGONDRAGONDRAGON

-so he DOES know exactly what they’re saying?? Is there a magical explanation for this or do we just have to except it, I’m good either way I just wanna know

-you have GOT to be kidding me, the indestructible knife can’t cut the band but a dragon nibbles on it a little bit and it snaps?

-Zym has already done something amazing and he was literally just hatched, most useful character on the show rn

-that short gust of wind that blew in Soren’s face right after he said “couldn’t you do this someplace warmer” was personal

-I was gonna ask why no one but the old elf lady was phased by the giant purple beam of light but then I remembered everything they just went through to get up there

-is Viren gonna just look like that from now on I still don’t even know what he did to the elf, put him in a coin?? Does putting someone in a coin make you look like that?? Remind me to never put anyone in a coin

#NEXT SEASON LETS GO #the dragon prince thoughts #the dragon prince #tdp thoughts #tdp #rayllum #tdp thoughts season 1 #the dragon prince thoughts season 1 #tdp season 1 #the dragon prince season 1

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 15: Give Me Your Princess Season 1, Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai

I'm attempting to do two episodes per post now! This will help me finish the show quicker and hopefully will make it more fun to watch

Episode 15 - Give Me Your Princess We start with Lotor quite literally asserting his dominance over his military as Commander, and immediately they're off to destroy Arus Also, this is where the obsession starts I guess, suddenly he's real interested in the princess

holy shit i cant believe he actually takes care of his hair

Oh we're already at this episode? Allura sneaks into black lion to learn to fly it in case of emergency, good plan but i always was annoyed that she thinks it HAS to be her when she's literally the most important person on the team, yknow being a princess and all

Ah yes a staple of the 80s "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't do things boys can!" Obviously it was important for girls during that decade and it still is now but MAN is the way of showing girl power outdated as I'm watching this now more than 30 yrs later

Lion troubles, apparently Black lion is malfunctioning, but they try and fail to form Voltron as Lotor is actually competent LMAO Allura faints and black drops out of the sky

Lotor has a personal fighter, and it looks like a bat, how cool, Keith is currently trying to rip it apart since everyone thinks it's allura in blue and not him which makes lotor scram

Harem time, I guess that's why they pulled the sudden obsession this episode, all the harem girls are blonde and could easily be mistaken for Allura and the allura imagery all throughout this episode that I haven't been mentioning

hell yeah they're telling off allura for her sudden test drive of black and now her reason changes from "in case of emergency" to "if you go back to earth"

oh my god this just turned into a telenovela Especially with Keith guilt-tripping her by saying Sven wouldn't have almost cost them their lives, low blow keith

She tries to apologize to Keith but the words of the other 3 boys get to her and she walks off I'm actually kind of glad she takes their opinions seriously and isn't being relegated to "the leader's girl" also keith regrets being so harsh on her, even though he was right to reprimand her in general

Did nobody learn anything from the last time lotor was on arus and said he'd be willing to leave in peace? Allura he won't give up just because you give yourself to him, especially if he smacked keith in the face with a ROCK after he won their sword fight

Allura literally busts through the tower lotor left on arus and gives herself up, and then faints (again) because Lotor electrocuted the lion, I don't blame her for that one The boys go rescue her and i think i missed something because keith is hurt? He did go after the princess outside his lion so maybe he got shot and i missed it, anyway he's ass at flying and allura is protecting him in turn now

No robeast this episode, but voltron is still formed and takes down the rest of the spires that lotor left behind, plus a giant laser weapon Allura and Lance carry Keith in, apparently he was cut by lotors laser sword, go figure Nanny doesn't care, as per usual, but goes to get stuff for Keith once Allura tells her to

Everyone forgives each other, Allura apologizes for stealing black without permission and the boys apologize for being so rude when she just wanted to do some good, Allura cries (for like the third time) in joy after being told she's wanted to be kept on the team, so she shouldn't doubt it

/episode end

Episode 16: Bridge Over The River Chozzerai Apparently the kingdom Allura rules over is called Altair and another nearby kingdom is called Helena. They have a running legend together about two lovers who were each a part of one of the kingdoms, but it was a romeo and juliette esq romance because the kingdoms were enemies, so they built a bridge between the vliff that separated them to finally be together the princess is playing one of the lovers, while she wants one of the boys to play the other

"getting icky sticky in the middle" Lance McClain sHUT-

The boys minus Keith are fighting over the part, Keith ain't no simp and especially not one for Allura LMAO Keith "No, Thanks" Kogane is a mood, I wouldn't want to go out to a bridge ceremony either

Hunk wins because Pidge tries to get the mice to help him cheat at a card draw, and they purposefully mess him up Now they have more beef lol

What a cute dress, I wonder if this is a historical reenactment or actual fashion on Arus

Haggar's cat exists once again and sends word that Allura and Hunk are away from castle. Lotor starts heading to Arus, specifically for Allura ofc, and interrupts the two right before they embrace on the bridge Now there's a robeast and it splits the bridge in two while Lotor shoots the cliff where the bridge hangs, causing it to fall. Somehow Allura is on the unsunken parts of the bridge and Lotor takes the change to try and snatch her before Hunk comes from behind and starts fucking SWINGING Very iconic of him, I'd feel safer if Hunk was protecting me in danger

The other boys are on their way, but Hunk slips off the bridge and is hanging on for his life as lotor gets pushed away by Allura who then gets smacked into the water Lotor comes back around for her in his jet until yellow line smacks him from behind, how the FUCK did Hunk get there so fast, and nanny since shes SOMEHOW IN THERE TOO

Lotor strikes back, and they crash into the cliff while the boys are stuck fighting a robeast at the castle, so they can't go help him Allura swims to safety anyway and runs to blue only to find lotor already there, honestly very smart of him since she's guaranteed to return to blue

HELLO?? Lotor tried grabbing her even though she had a gun, girl should've pulled the trigger, but only tears her dress so instead she runs towards blue AND POINTS THE BLASTER AT HER HEAD Damn, I really need to watch beastking golion if we get stuff like this in the censored American version

Anyway he tried to get the gun away but literally trips giving her time to shoot at his feet, so he back-ups enough for her to get into blue, smart girl Hunk and nanny are still at the cliff since yellow isn't responding well, so she basically piggybacks yellow onto blue to get back to the castle as lotor is shooting at them, that's a very weird position but ok

Keith can apparently take control over yellow when they're in voltron? I'm taking that as, since he's the center, having the ability to work with all 5 lions to coordinate movement, but not actually control the limb as that's up to the pilot in it

Voltron is formed, maybe it has a strong magnetic pull that brought yellow lion in even though it couldn't fly, also voltron has a whole other sword, that's interesting to know Blazing sword takes out the elephant tank hybrid robeast and now Yellow is getting repaired, it looks like it's being done inside it's den so that's good to know for world building

Hunk questions why Allura didn't kiss Lotor on the bridge since the legend was about uniting two lands but Allura is grossed out and says it's about people in love and that not even his father could love lotor get his ass princess

she was right lol, zarkon's PISSED and tells him to stop thinking with the head in his pants and start thinking with the head on his shoulders to defeat voltron

/episode end

#voltron #voltron defender of the universe #voltron dotu #80s voltron #let's rewind! #toast talks #slowly figuring this thing out #i think i'm just going to watch the episode all the way and then summarize my thoughts lol #this got too long

[callmerhynner]

A hopeless romance,

(I just kinda wish you were gay, by: Billie Eilish)

synopsis: A story of a getaway driver falling head over heels for the aromantic arsonist. Unrequited and bitter.

tags: song oneshot, angst, poorly written, confession fail, unrequited love, runaway criminals, oc x oc, delusional love, reality slap, best friends to enemies, mentions of smoking, disney-esque realization, delulu, angst x2

author’s note: might make a part 2 idk. my pen tip broke and i cant draw on my tab😭😭

⇱♥︎⇲

🎶 “Baby, I don’t feels so good” six words you never understood 🎶

“Spark, i don’t feel so good…” Swift confesses, the two were laying on the car’s hood and resting their eyes under the stars. Spark, his best friend and unrequited lover, gives him a glance before going back to resting them.

“We have a job in 10 hours, don’t get sick.” The ravenette bluntly puts. Swift sighs and nods along, this has been how he’s treated him their entire friendship but it’s been hurting him so much these past few years. It’s been bothering him more and more each day.

Memories flood his heterochromic eyes, remembering all the many times the stoic arsonist has left him to deal with all those hurtful experiences all on his own.

🎶 "I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say (aww) 🎶

The man dawning a low ponytail has never showed appreciation for the driver, who would openly take a bullet if it meant to protect him. He showed no interest, and no desire to try and connect each other like they did during their childhood years. There was one thing he would do to satiate each others ‘connection’.

Sex, no strings attached, they would roam each others bodies. Maybe it was to empty out their pent up aggression, their fields don’t show much time or value in meeting other people they could have a sexual relationship with, after all. But, Swift being the hopeless romantic that he was, daydreamed about the alternate universe of them having such a bond to reciprocate his upheld feelings.

🎶 I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long 🎶

He knew it wasn’t true, it was never going to happen. Spark has never shown interest in romantic connections or relationships, in general. All he could do was respect it, not wanting to invalidate his own feelings, and laugh along to each and every thing he’d been through.

Swift beat himself up over his stupid hearty emotions. He knew that Spark was never going to reciprocate anything, but he still had the ability to continuously fall deeper and deeper inlove with him. Stupidity, at its finest.

He’s been with him so much that every thing he does has become almost routine. It’s been quiet a thrilling ride because of their dangerous occupation but soon, when the open hours close, it’s nothing but comfortable silence. Nothing new and nothing strange..

🎶 If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away (hahahahaha)🎶

Spark only had one ambition, to rebuild an agenda of a system he wants to uphold. He’ll burn down continents to have himself be a ghosting haunt for people of power. To be able to control someone powerful’s actions and life, he wants that.

Swift was never part of that ambition. He was his only considered friend, but that’s only because he was the only one willing enough, stupid enough, and impulsive enough, to run away with him. To be his partner in crime.

To be a victim of his crimes. Even from childhood.

🎶 I just wanna make you feel okay🎶

Swift looked up, eyes distant and staring at the shiny stars you could only see in an urban landscape, he reminisces of something. A promise that Swift can’t help but be loyal to.

If they were to be caught, Swift, the victim and the getaway driver, he will take all the blame. Spark will run a free man, without consequence. He will do anything for that man he calls his best friend, anything.

A terrible decision that he can’t remember making. But chooses to follow. Chooses to be a punching bag for his so-called love.

He was a pawn to him, and he allowed it.

A stupid decision, but one he doesn’t regret.

🎶 But all you do is look the other way🎶

Anything he’d do to gain his interest would fail or end in pointless shambles. He was basically a pet to the arsonist. He’d be either treated or punished if he was to do something that caught his attention.

He’d either be given a sexual favor or some sort affectionate gesture, or manipulated to become his puppet until he says he’s learned his lesson. Those punishments..it would never be pretty. Never was it brought up, the most fucked up things he could get to get away with, he’s made the driver do it to try and get his approval.

It never mattered to Spark what he gave Swift as a reward nor punishment. All he was wanted was a comrade to leverage him to his goal and if a fuck-buddy was what Spark thought was what the driver wanted, he was willing. It wasn’t like it was important or anything.

🎶 I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay🎶

Swift can’t keep up. It was thrilling, trying to chase after him, until he realized that he was chasing nothing. It wasn’t a matter of time or effort, Spark was a brick wall.

All he’d do is kill himself if he tries chasing after him. All those heartbreaks, those broken promises, and all those cracked memories. It was impossible, but he chose to try and reach him from the top. To try and climb up to him, not realizing he was inside the wall, barricaded.

Foolish, utterly stupid.

🎶 I just kinda wish you were gay🎶

Swift feels the car hood bump down and back up, Spark had walked off to god knows where. The hopeless pawn forced himself to try and not stare over at him waking off into the deeper parts of the forest, probably to go grab a fruit to bite on.

“I really need to quit…” he sits up, biting a cigarette and lighting it. If it wasn’t the romantic torment killing him, it was his lungs absolutely turning black from his smoking habits. “Fuck. That.” He replies to himself, huffing out smoke, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed.

🎶 Is there a reason we're not through?🎶

The nicotine must be slowly drudging him because tunnel visions started and Swift was starting to see things in the smoke like a Disney Movie prediction. He saw two things, from the right was two children with similar builds from the two men’s kid bodies. They were running around, being playful and being boys.

The children were roughhousing, wrestling inside what looked like a living room, until the child that resembled Swift pushed Spark’s child body into the floor, hard. Spark was whimpering with his body shaking, he was in pain; and not even a second after, Swift ran up to carry him out of the living room, worried and running for his life outside of the smoke’s clouds.

And then there’s the left, another smoke cloud resembling Swift, this time in his young-teenager body. The teen was in a loud party, whilst just leaning himself on a wall with a cigarette next to an open window. The cloud-Swift was bored until Spark’s cloud popped out of the window to lure him out. Swift followed, body language looking more excited.

He hopped off the car and his eyes widen and take the cigarette out of his mouth and fan out the cloud images. “STOP IT!” He yelled, irritated at the emotional torture he’s stuck having to handle. “I can’t.” He huffs, sitting on the lightly wet grass, defeated. “Not this. Not now. Not again.”

🎶Is there a 12-step just for you?🎶

“That man is shit. And you know it.” He huffs. “Get him out, he’ll just…” he slams the back of his head on the nearest part of the car he could reach, “he’ll use you, Swift. You know that.”

“But what if he can change?” Here comes the internal battle.

“He won’t. He never has, and seems like he never will.”

“What if I just do what he wants. He’s always liked that.”

“Each and every time, you do that. Even that isn’t enough to please the fucker.”

“Time can change a man. That’s inevitable.”

“I never even got a thank you after throwing my life away to be his damn getaway driver.”

“HES THANKED ME ENOUGH! He’s..cared, he’s given me rewards”

“And punishments?! HES TREATING ME LIKE A PET!”

“He only gave us what I asked for! I wanted thrill, and a life of action, he gave that to me!”

“And uses me for everything?! Is he a princess??”

“He has priorities!”

“IM NOT ANY OF HIS!” Swift punches a dent into his car’s front as he huffed and panted after yelling his closing statement. He was so deep into his argument that he didn’t even notice that he was pulling on his hair, so much so that he had some of his grey locks in his hands already.

🎶Our conversation's all in blue

11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey)🎶

“Hey, crazy. Don’t wreck the car. Dipshit.” Swift looked up at the voice, it was his crush walking up to him with a glare to kill a man. He walked up to his form, eying him up and down before grabbing the drivers wrist and pushing it off the car.

“Hey…Spark.” The driver rubbed his hand and wrist, the punch and the arsonist’s rough push sure made the pain start to feel. “How much of that did you..umm..hear.?” Embarrassment rushing in, watching Spark’s cold eyes check on the car’s conditions.

“Shut it.” Be replied back, with his usual blunt and sharp voice. “I have good ears, Swift. If you have something to finally confess, say it now or I’ll kill you before you can.”

Swift cleared his throat before standing up, his hands fiddling inside this hoodie pockets. He looked back down, minds starting to fight again. The need to finally say his heart out to him and the want to keep it all

down, the fear of ruining what they have eating him up inside.

“I’m waiting.” Spark says, sitting on the car hood, giving him his undivided attention. The blushing man scratched his neck in thought, looking down and praying for some sort of sign to confess the obvious or act dumb and suck it all up. “Swift.”

🎶Ten fingers tearin' out my hair🎶

His left hand, subconsciously, went up to start grabbing at his hair. His right went off to follow, the voice or reason and the words of his heart were fighting for their life by this point. Spark watched all of this with his usual resting bitch face, waiting patiently for the man to get his mind in order.

“Swift.” He tried to get attention, but the man continued pulling on his hair. His gray hair starting to get pulled and that’s when the arsonist slapped the man in the face, as softly as he could without injuring him. “Stop.”

🎶Nine times, you never made it there🎶

“Just spit it out, or I’m leaving.” Now he was handed an ultimatum. “10 seconds. Make up your mind because I’m not acknowledging this ever again.”

“That’s not fair!” Swift tried to argue, looking at the calm man with wide eyes. “Atleast give me a day!” He just sat there with his eyes glaring in response.

“9 seconds.” The years of practicing to confess had now suddenly become deceased. He couldn’t even remember his name, it was so nerve wracking.

“8 seconds.” Swift just stood there, defeated. His mind was racing, trying to find some sort of way to finally decide. This stress was making him get a headache, by this point it was basically impossible to think things through without going rampant.

🎶I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away🎶

“I..can’t.” Swift muttered, looking down in shadowing defeat, one could argue it was only a display to try and gain some sympathy. Too bad Spark is a sociopathic mastermind. As a man whose known him all his life, this was a common fact; he wasn’t trying to gain sympathy, he is now an emotional mess beyond the brink of help.

“7 seconds.” No mercy.

“You know that..” the driver continues to look down, wanting to cry but body so tortured it was almost impossible. Under the circumstance, he was as close to ‘loyal until death’ as he could get.

“6 seconds.”

🎶How am I supposed to make you feel okay🎶

Tears threaten to break through the driver’s heterochromic eyes, he was never good with pressure. He was the one who knew what to do with a plan, the strategist to his crush’s suicide missions. Wanting to just fade away, Swift takes a step back to breathe as much as he could as the pressure was choking him dead.

The eyes of this man was swirling in terror.

He had tried to accept that he was never gonna be given a chance with the man he finds so hard to let go of, all to go in vain. Love was a topic he hated to mention; it was never a problem he wanted. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a way out that could save his sick mind to swim away from his unrequited desire.

“5 seconds.” the man in the turtleneck states, glaring dagger into his skull.

🎶When all you do is walk the other way?🎶

“I LOVE YOU, OKAY?!” he finally yells out, the pressure on his throat now being shoved down his throat like a pack of razors. This hurt him a lot more that it’s should’ve, more than it normally should. More than the two could possibly wonder.

The two remained quiet, the pain spreading around the driver’s chest at the final display of loyalty. Meanwhile, the other was having a hard time trying to figure out how this could give him the upper hand in his twisted mind. Their dynamic was something reminiscent to one of a predator and its prey, one was vulnerable and the other was hungry for it.

And so, with that, the predator feigned surprise and soon forced out a hearty laugh. Feeling humiliated, the driver fists up their hands until his small nails could make rivers of red drip down his palm. He could remember his laugh as it just reminded him of what a devil incarnate his heart just had to belong to. Exactly three seconds of laughing, the arsonist-for-hire finally ceases, laughter dying out for him to finally reply to his forced confession.

“I don’t need that.”

🎶I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay🎶

The world around him just shattered, he knew it was coming but that small spirited heart of his was still hoping for an unanswered miracle. There was small flick of light in his head, trying to delude him into thinking that what they’d been doing for all these years—running away together, trusting only each-other—was more than being wanted criminals. He wished to ever god and deity that he didn’t agree to an unchangeable life of crime for nothing, that, at the least, the moments of life or death he’s shared with wasn’t with a stranger. That his childhood friend was still there.

But no, the man in front of him wasn’t his childhood friend. The man facing him was a stranger, he knew nothing about this man. He looked like his dearest best friend, but he wasn’t. He was his shell.

He’s been seeing everything through to gain that friend’s love back, for all these years of running away from cops and bounty hunters. But he can’t.

🎶I just kinda wish you were gay🎶

He can’t gain the love of his best friend, he wasn’t there.

“Oh…” he says, eyes darkening and face showing a neutral expression. A still sound of crickets chirping surrounded them, one eyeing the other down with mused judgement; the other, hearing his crush heart wilt away.

“What? Did you expect me to swoon over you?” the man responsible for breaking the other’s heart says, tilting his head with crossed arms. “You’ve done nothing but burden me.”

“That’s not true.” the man clenched his hand into a fist, breathing out through his nose.

“You talk all that after you punched a dent into your own car. Those big emotions always get the better of everything.” As Swift looked at the car, eyes straining slightly at how strong he was gritting his teeth. Unbeknownst to him, a sadistic glint sparked in the others eyes as he watch his anger rise through.

“That’s isn’t true.” another gruff mutter.

“I can’t name one time you’ve done something that’s ever helped me. You can’t prove it, you dont even show it—“ Swift could hear the evil smile on his voice. That was it—all these feeling were pouring hard, feeling his chest squeeze and making him swallow every shard of his broken heart until his throat was cut open. It was too much.

“Are yoU THAT STUPID?! My parents are getting mixed into your horseshit because of you dragging me into this.!” he finally manages to yell out his feelings, gritting his teeth and clenching his fist until his knuckles turned white. The other was stunned, this was the very first time he’s ever had the guts to yell at him. He’s put him in various torturous situations and Swift has held in every scream he tried to squeeze out of him, to be honest, it drove the sadomasochist up the wall of how much he could take without screaming or crying.

“You agreed to this, i didn’t drag you in. Don’t blame it on me because i don’t want to hold your hand like toddler.” The stunned man finally unfroze, glaring holes into the driver’s eyes with his resting bitch face.

“Are you serious?! You told me you got caught doing some stupid shit and needed to run—running away without knowing anything fucking else! You expected me to let you go alone?!” He replied with a tone of which was telling of how obvious the reason was. Over the bridges of dead bodies and burnt buildings of their crimes, this reason was always what stuck to him all throughout. Him not knowing this simple answer angered Swift even more, more than he expected.

“Maybe I did! Who gives a fuck?!” was all the other could give, looking away—trying to hide how threatened he was starting to feel—those blue and green eyes staring inti his soul.

“I give a fuck! I gave a fuck all these fucking goddamn years, but you?! You’re doing those because you’re a goddamn masochist!” The man slammed a hand onto his own chest, before pointing, accusatorially, at the arsonist. “And when things go south, you come crawling back for me to pick all of your goddamn shit up!”

🎶To spare my pride🎶

Denying everything felt right, seeing the stranger’s face contort and frown at his words were like food medals awarding him for all the shit he’s had to go through because of his masochistic suicide missions.

“Why?! Are you that FUCKING desperate?!!” Feeling a small desperation to be right, the man yells out and slaps the pointing finger.

“IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE MY FRIEND! THATS WHAT FRIENDS FUCKING DO!!” was the response he got, a small silence bit at each other’s backs, The driver was breathing do heavily that his shoulder were going up and down rapidly. He’s held that in the moment he took a step out of that window, the first time he helped him run away from the people hunting him-both of them, down. The air was still, the tension was high and the ship their friendship resided on had long since drowned in the sea of life.

They were never friends, the realization hit the man with heterochromic eyes, the light in them fading at the sight of the pathetic husk of a man facing him.

“Everything…” a whisper escapes his lips, heart pacing and chest heaving. Had he been this delusional this entire time?

How could he let it get this bad?

🎶To give your lack of interest, an explanation🎶

“Everything I’ve done, all of it…it was for nothing.” Swift says with the look of enfacement decorating his features. Those bright eyes that lit up when he was praised by the man, that bright contagious smile he wore all the time to show his friendly nature, all gone. Down the drain as fast as they were always put on.

“Swift…look-“ The stranger tries to rebut, no. That thing didn’t deserve to speak any more than he already has.

“Hans Quinton Maeri, or whatever you call yourself, i quit.” He pushes him away, taking steps back, fists clenches as his jaw was pushing at each other.

“You can’t quit. You can’t—after everything you’ve done, they’d kill you on sight. You don’t expect them to welcome you with open arms arfter all the blood on your hands, right?” The exasperated emotion was evident by the sense of his tone, a hand tries to place onto his shoulder—his tell when he was going to persuade him into something—but he jerks his body away.

“I mean that I quit. I quit everything. You, this, life—everything.” Swift’s hands waved around him and pointing at everywhere, he wanted to leave everything away to burn, so the thing in front of him has to deal with all it’s consequences. “Nothing has treated me right after the damage you put my life through,

🎶Don't say I'm not your type🎶

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The stranger asks, furrowed brows and a visible burn of judgement in his corneas.

“You know what it means.” he huffs, turning his head to face straight forward and walking off to get into the car.

“You’re not seriously thinking that killing yourself is gonna solve all the shit you’ve been hunted down for, right?!” It grabs at his jacket sleeve, making him stop at his step. Swift pulls his arm back, making a disgusted face at his touch. “You can’t be serious!”

“If i have to die so you can finally be put into a goddamn cell. So you can go crazy with the same thoughts you keep spewing out to me.” An uncharacteristic monotone voice says aloud to him, the soul he had just a moment ago had died the moment he was both rejected and slapped away from his delusion.

“If those bounty hunters cant kill you, they’ll hit the next best thing.” The stranger says, each word coaxing a smirk out of it’s own hideous face.

“You? perfect, exactly what i was aiming for.” Swift responds, taking a step to side when the stranger started laughing maniacally. What was he laughing about? Did it not hear him?

🎶Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation🎶

“What the fuck are you on?!” He yells out, the urge to punch the thing was so tempting, almost stupidly tempting. But he won’t, he never will, be as petty as it was.

“This is so pathetic! Do you seriously not know?!” The thing continues to laugh, arms crossed at it’s stomach. With how much it was laughing, whatever he had to say was something he found very funny.

“Know what?! That you ate some poisonous shit while i was out here moping? You made that fucking obvious.” He retorted, it was really starting to get to his nerves.

“Let me ask you this, clearly. Who do you think are the next best things from killing the most wanted getaway driver?” It asks, tone mocking him. He wasn’t in on something very important, and the thing wasn’t going to be budging anytime soon.

“Just spit it out, if it isn’t you then i’m beat.” He gives in, just wanting to head inside the car and leave the pyromaniac to die alone in an electric chair.

🎶I'm so selfish🎶

“Your parents.”

🎶But you make me feel helpless, yeah🎶

🎶And I can't stand another day🎶

🎶Stand another day🎶

🎶I just wanna make you feel okay🎶

🎶But all you do is look the other way, hmm🎶

🎶I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay🎶

🎶I just kinda wish you were gay~ 3x🎶

#oc artist #oc art #oc lore #oc stuff #ocs #oc x oc art #oc x oc ship #oc x character #oc #angst #delulu #angst no comfort #angst no happy ending #no further comment #screaming crying throwing up #im crying #girl help #pls help #angst x reader #x reader #song #song suggestions #song stuck in my head

[4uru]

(Tw: Vent post)

I went thru some of my worst depressive, suicidal, self hating episodes during quarentine. Teenage angst fuelled to the max by gender dysphoria, internalized homophobia and transphobia. In 2020 baby me wrote several letters addressed to future me, telling me to kill myself . I will be 16 soon, those letters were addressed to me. I know if anyone reading this who is an adult feels like this is just a kid complaning. And ur not wrong.

This is probably not even thing i will ever face in my life. And that thought scares me.

I was a different, very miserable, angry and tiny person in quarentine, i was brimming with hate and sadness, i had no friends. I was a kid who was stuck in a house 24/7 with my (suddenly) religious mother who i stupidly came out to, my parents werent even a little bit supportive back then, they thought i was fetishizing being LGBTQ my dad thought i wanted to be trans and gay to be different. (Lets not even open that can of worms)

What im trying to say is, it took alot of work to get where i am this year. I tried hard "loving myself", i worked hard to look at myself and not see a complete fucking monster. I tried very hard to believe in a future.

But all my work is down the drain bc of this fucking system. I dont want a future anymore. I am fucking done hearing critism from the generation who had adequate study plans. Who didnt have the life drained out of them everyday. My parents talk so brazenly about my generation about our studies like its the same. 30 years ago the Curriculum was in their favor, now its evil and twisted and i dont want to go through wjth it.

I legit fantasize suicide just to avoid dealing with it. Everytime i go to school or coaching all i hear are different voices telling me how much hard work i have to do to pass SSC, then get into a good college, then HSC, then University etc etc etc.

I tried to look forward to a future, i forced myself to imagine a life for myself, i swear i tried. I just dont want to anymore, i told myself i want to be an animator, or just work in an artistic field,

I dont want a future anymore, i cant keep going on, its fucking exhausting, i dont want anything from my life. I have nothing to look forward to, everytime i try its always an exam to prove to people that im worthy of existing. Every fucking time.

It never ends, it wont ever end, i will just be wrung out and burnt out of everything i ever cared about. I cant go on a day without being berated and if i do, i cant go on with out feeling guilty for using my free time to be at peace. They hardwired my brain to hate myself then they yell at me for it

I dont know if ppl know how easy its for me to be desensitized to death, i have no qualms about it, i didnt literally since the day i turned 8. I have read ppl saying ppl sho commit suicide are cowards, and i remember feeling worse about it. Bc somewhere deep down i do feel like a fucking coward and a quitter.

But i genuinly dont care anymore, i cant keep doing this, i dont think i am strong enough. My friends talk about how i have a clear cut future with my art and stuff. But holy shit no i dont, i dont think i will live to see 18. I dont want to live to see 18. I dont want to keep doing this.

Sometimes i wish i was religious so i would have someone to pray to, to believe in, but i dont. I never did, i could never believe in someone. I wish i did rn bc maybe that can be my salvation. But its not.

I just cant anymore with this shit, yaar. I feel like i am going to shatter like glass if i even move.

I dont think ppl know how much their tiny jabs build up on my skin to become a large gaping wound that i just cant stitch back up.

I sometimes think that, if i do it, if i do kill myself, they are just going to blame it on social media and other teenage angst bullshit.

I dont want to live like this, i dont want to prove my existence. Kill me, i will accept it, just let me go.

It hurts so much to go on with life knowing my inevitable failure. And even if i dont fail, if i somehow by some miracle get to college, the cycle will start again, in every step of life theres some new competition i have to win to have the right to exist in society.

I dont know whats the point anymore its all the same shit in repeat. "OH but life has so much to offer" no thank you, i will take the receit and see myself out. If you say its about ppl? Family? Friends? Desi parents of queer children are hardly the point of life, and friends? What friends? The person who came to school and told me that she dreamt of dieing and was disappointed when she woke up?.

The people who to my face said they tolarate my existence?

"It doesn't matter what you think" it matters when i spend 5 days a week 6 hours a day with these sons of bitches.

I just fucking cant anymore, bro.

And i dont think i deserve to die, i dont hate myself that much anymore. But its so exhausting. Before i used to look for painless deaths, just quite and painless. Now i dont even care about that, make it quick, get me out of here, i dont care how much blood and gore i will turn into just let me leave.

[untitledarea]

Untitled's Prompt Writing - Smut

This 1/3 list of Prompts that I would like to do writing on Steve Harrington (I know, I'm biased. Sue Me.)

18/1/23 - Change of plans more bois are coming into the picture 😆

All of the lists will be credited to @justforshitsandcackles - I just changed some of them to fit to the universes I will write about. I'll roll a dice thrice to know who will I do the story about, what genre and number I do.  

There will be no requests, but I could change my mind over time :3

“Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

“I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

“You’re not going out in that outfit.”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“You’re more than just a one night stand.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“You want me to give you your book/phone/item back? Make me.”

“Like what you see?”

“Try to stay quiet, understand?”

“We’re in public, you know.”

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

“Dont be so rough. there cant be any marks.”

“I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now.”

“Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.”

“No, i’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

“Make me.”

“Stop teasing me so much..”

“You’re in trouble now.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“I’m waiting.”

“First one to make a noise loses.”

“Mine.”

“We cant do that here!”

“Behave.”

“What did you just say?”

“Come here.”

“Watch me.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

“If you cant sleep…then how about we have sex?”

“Put that thing away!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Bite me.” || “If you insist.”

“Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?”

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

“You taste like fucking candy.”

“The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

“You make a sound and its game over.”

“Just let me finish this/this level and i swear ill go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

“If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week.”

“I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

“Were you just masturbating?” ||“U-uh..no, i was just..” ||“Want some help?”

“Shut up.” || “Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“C���mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”

“What? Does that feel good?”

“I’m not jealous! its just…you’re mine!”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“We have to be quiet.”

“Tell me again.”

“You have no idea how much i want you.”

“Say it.”

“If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning?”

“Wow, i didn’t realize you were that…flexible.”

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

“You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll.”

“I think thats the first time i’ve heard you moan…it was like a fucking melody.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” || “Then do it.”

“You’re not taking me to bed. ever.” || “Who said it had to be on the bed?”

“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“How do i look?”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification just from staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“Don’t fucking touch what is not yours.”

“You don’t need to cover up the bruises/hickeys.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“We’re…..just friends.”

“Friends don’t do this kind of shit!”

“How quickly can you cum?”

“There’s people here.” ||“I know.”

“I don’t care what you do just fuck me.”

“Fuck you.” || “I’m up for it if you are.”

“Don’t ruin the sofa.” || “Ill just have to cum inside you then.”

“Stop dancing like that or i’m going to cum in my pants.”

“I’m not going to touch you unless you beg.”

“You cant tease me like that and expect not to be punished.”

“Stop distracting me.”

“Were you touching yourself?”

“I know they’re just stuffed animals but doesn’t it feel weird? its like they’re watching us.”

“That’s probably the fastest i’ve ever done that.”

“Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?”

“I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.”

“We’ve been at it like rabbits, how are you still horny?!”

“It was so worth the injury though!”

“Saddle up doll.”

“Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did we’re having sex. Right now.”

“Your ass is going to be seven different shades of red after that little stunt.”

“God damnit, now all i can think about right now is you licking my cock like its that ice cream cone.”

“If i have to pull over, you wont be able to walk for the next week.”

”Do you think they can hear us through the tent?” || “Yes we can.”

“What are you doing in my bed?!”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington smut #stranger things #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #steve harrington blurb #joel miller blurb

[idealspawn]

why the fuck do i have to have acne. this shit has ruined my life. literally predominantly this. me feeling dirty is written all over my fucking face i cant even try to ignore it. im afraid ill literally drop out of university bc of this. i dont make practically any plans w friends bc i feel disgusting. i cant make it out of the fucking house more than once a week if even that. this is so fucking unfair i dont know anyone who eats as clean as i do or has this good of a personal hygiene. most of my life ive avoided alcohol and smoking at all costs but at one point gave up only in the terms of weed because this shit wont go away either way. ive been on every fuckinf medication there is and even if ive had a few times that my skin cleared up, it has come back multiple times and worse each time. im tired of being on pills too, i dont want to fuck my gut up again. why cant my fucking acne be all cute and react to fucking meds properly this one time and be done w it. why the fuck does mine keep coming back for so many years. nobody else in my family has acne i dont understand wtf went wrong w me then. i know i shouldnt fucking complain bc my sister has it way worse, she has type 1 diabetes since she was 3 and many of my problems root from my looks which is so fucking superficial. but i cant help but wonder why the fuck did i have to be the daughter that got a crooked nose, a fucking cross bite and an underbite, a collapsed fucking ribcage and acne. why did i get the shittier genes regarding education as well, i am not nearly as academically successful and smart as my sister is. why am i the one who got the worse end of the stick regarding our family trauma as well. why the fuck are the effects of it debilitating on me and have lasted up until adulthood but not for my sister. ive done so much inner work and i constantly push myself to trust again and be open and kindhearted but im tired. i dont understand why do i keep getting blamed for shit i cant be responsible for too. i know everyone has problems and to everyone theirs are the fucking worst bc they experience it firsthand but it doesnt help the feeling go away. all i want is a simple fucking life. all i want is to live a normal life and be able to attend university and take part of normal things that normal young ppl do and not feel like love is exclusive bc its rare for someone to be attracted to someone like me. i just want to be fucking ordinary, completely basic and normal. im tired of fucking battleing with something at all times, its like i can never stop to take a breath. everything is actually okay whatever you cant fight destiny and what has happened has happened. i just want to whine. its easy to find reasons to hate your life if you start looking for them. my life has a lot of blessings too and privileges that some cant even dream about. stuff sure could be worse than this. nonetheless its all so emotionally taxing. im drained again and am left with no energy to study. didnt attend my lecture today again because my skin looked horrible and i dont have the balls to ask my professor for any accomodations. this whole post is me catastrophizing shit and an amazing example of the slippery slope and snowball effect that they taught us in uni last year to avoid.

[mewtonian-physics]

"zuko alone episode" is a reference to avatar the last airbender where in the second season the deuteragonist is isolated from all other established characters. a lot happens in it tht i cant summarize in 500 letters. i think actually you'd have to have seen it to get what i mean. but i basically am trying to say "how does raiden function in the world, how do people perceive him, when he is existing outside of the videogame narrative module". how does he fare w strangers

very fair i have not watched that show so i did not get the reference, i am uncultured or something who knows.

im going to put this under a cut because i will be talking about sexual harassment and thanks to a certain ex-president that will unfortunately include (non-graphic) discussion of assault. homophobia + transphobia will be referred to as well. because people suck, and i don't just mean the ones in the metal gear universe. (has what i've seen from certain sections of the metal gear fanbase heavily influenced my perspective on raiden's general life experiences? yes. yes, it unfortunately has.)

i think raiden and the rest of the world are... i think there's kind of a gap between them, at least from his perspective. he doesn't quite know how to deal with strangers, so more often than not he just... doesn't try. it doesn't help that i think--well, i know, all i have to do is look at the early mgs2 playerbase and even sections of today's players to get an indication of how some people would respond to his existence--he'd have to deal with some pretty awful harassment and that would make him even less inclined to be social. why bother risking it?

that gets even worse after mgs2 because fuck you president johnson [coughs] i mean like. it's bad enough just dealing with that in regular situations. dealing with it from a man whose life you're trying to save? (i'd add specifically that it's the president, but unfortunately that really doesn't make it any more shocking.) at this point the idea of being at ease around strangers is ridiculous to him. since, y'know. he apparently can't do anything without risk. (can you tell i'm really fucking mad about that scene? because i am. i've only found one angle to look at it from that makes any sense and it is, of course, the absolute worst option available.) so he's really not good with strangers. at least, not adults. there's no way in hell he hasn't helped at least one lost kid find their parents or something like that, idk.

also reminder that i do not take rose's word alone as any kind of resource on account of how she does not stop lying so as far as i'm concerned the space between mgs2 and mgs4 is wide open in terms of what happens. i think after he made the decision to separate himself from rose (there is no way he didn't blame himself for what 'happened' and i am of the opinion that he left because the guilt was eating him alive and he was afraid he'd somehow make things even worse if he stayed) his difficulty figuring out what was real and what wasn't just got even worse, and he just... spiraled. not in the way rose told it, but he absolutely did spiral. i don't think alcohol ever really factored into it--the poor guy's head was messed up enough already, not being sure if anything in his life was real, he wouldn't want to risk making that any worse.

i think he probably was just wandering for a while, looking for something to do with himself, not really caring what happened to him. he just wanted to feel like a human being. someone real and tangible. if something could do that, could ground him, then what else really mattered? it wouldn't even bother him if he was badly hurt, as long as the pain could make him believe he really existed.

deciding to rescue sunny was what gave him something to focus on. fast forward to between the time when he left the PLA after becoming a cyborg and the start of mgs4; he perceived himself as a monster and decided that it would be better to isolate himself again, this time from everyone. eva insisted on having a way to keep in contact with him, but he never reached out to her, only ever the other way around. and he didn't even consider anyone else as possibilities. he stopped seeing himself as human. who was he supposed to talk to? in his mind there wasn't anyone left who wouldn't hate him (rose), be disappointed in him (snake), pity him (eva), or be downright terrified of him (sunny). and after that, people... well, that part is canon.

so uh i guess what i'm saying is that when it comes to how he functions in the world... he doesn't. not in regards to other people anyway. he can be quite self-sufficient (though that doesn't mean he always is, just that he can be when he wants to be) but his interactions with the rest of the world are awkward at best and nonexistent at worst.

i think... i'm actually thinking more about pre-mgs2 rn, sorry, but i think the rest of the world would just perceive him as odd, in multiple different ways, how he looked, how he acted. the way he was polite to everyone (or maybe just anxious) but never casual with anyone, never seeming to be friendly, always carried himself with so much tension, never made eye contact, too quiet, too withdrawn. 'effeminate.' (you know how it goes with the homophobia.) because of course so many people would judge him for the way he looked the moment they found out he wasn't a woman (not a man, either, but he didn't even really understand that himself, much less know how to explain it to other people). face too soft, jawline not sharp enough, features too delicate, eyes too large, eyelashes too long, hair too pretty, too feminine in the way it brushed his shoulders. even the general shape of his body was wrong. (note: these are NOT things i agree with they are however things i have seen other people complain about with regards to him. like i said earlier, a lot of my thoughts on his experiences with others were influenced by the reactions i've seen irl people have.) a lot of people would just see him as weird, or 'deviant', or whatever. and he wasn't exactly well socialized as a child (+ i hc him as autistic), so that'd just make things even harder. his experiences with the rest of the world would not be particularly fun ones.

idk. idk. i feel like i'm probably going on about things you weren't asking about at this point. if you have specific questions about stuff lmk i really do enjoy answering questions like these it's just i have so many thoughts that it's not always easy to figure out what i'm actually supposed to be saying lol. hence why it took me two hours to answer this.

#ask #anon #raiden

[lostacelonnie]

Cant believe a solution like that has existed for so long they make pills of all sorts these days thats wild. Glad they're helpful for you really. Just standing in the ocean sometimes is such an experience i love it. Oh gosh that must be some kind of interesting. I had a sub once who was like. One of the few teachers to ever pronounce my last name right without help because her husband or herself was german. Or somethin like that. Shocked me at the time. Oh that'll be fun sometimes its neat to like. Go back to a place & see whats the same & whats changed since you were there. I wanna visit spain so much just uh. Probably in a less hot time of year. I like jarilo-vi so far only just hit level 15 so i can continue story. Didnt get bronya off my intro pulls got clara instead but i will someday. Is cocolia in honkai too? Yeah i agree this feels like they fixed genshin in a different game but im alright with that. Yeehaw more sleep. Ive been getting more now that i dont have to be at work at like 6 every day too. I would love to hear about this fire

right like!!!! waow. i ❤ you modern medicine i ❤ you medication. and for REAL !! i dont do it a lot and then i suddenly remember how nice it is. YEAH it took a while for me to actually be Able To Communicate with all of them but yknow it gets much easier when youre literally forced to do it to understand anything. but i have to say my spoken spanish is waaaaay worse than what i understand. oh well. god i feel that esp recently since ive been going outside of poland recently..... not a SINGLE non polish person can say my last name right. but i dont blame them shdfjgkjskf polish is a hellish language for foreigners. and yeah im looking forward to it honestly!! esp since ill actually get to interact with ppl more this time around. exciting! yes id recommend that you dont go in spring or summer bc not only is it hot theres also a looooot of tourists. tho i heard the weather isnt as bad in the northern part. and ah nice!! im a big grinder and hit lvl50 yesterday [not doing trial of the equilibrium yet tho..... Scared] but have fun!!! oh i main clara and shes actually SO good oh my god. actual killing machine esp in simulated universe with elation blessings [i run her with march + tingyun + bailu btw] so i totally rec you invest in her. good luck in your bronya acquiring quest btw o7 im also trying to do it but i dont really pull on standard outside of free pulls so its gonna. take a While. and yes she is!!!!! god frfr but i dont care about genshin that much so im not even mad. and ah thats nice!! oh the fire god that was. Hm. basically i was chilling as one does and an irl friend was like "my guy What. is happening at your house" and before that there was this reaaaaaaaally loud firetruck siren [that i decided to completely ignore] so i went outside bc that friend came over and there were?? firemen with a giant fan blowing out smoke out of one of the stairwells in my block of flats?? and basically it turns out some guy set something in the basement on fire and since i live in a block from the Communism Times the ventilation system sucks so the whole block smelled like smoke. also there was a dumpster fire nearby like an hour later. so thats fun! luckily nothing serious happened in either cases bc they were both noticed quickly but its still. Interesting.

#average day in poland. I Guess #also im going to photo camp till the 8th and im gonna be Completely Offline so. talk to you in two weeks i suppose o7 #pen pals

[spicybulalo]

Its anxiety again but its fine

Though I cant leave right now, I'm literally in the process of detachment.  My trust wasn't there anymore. I feel attacked every fucking time. I was fucking insecure so much now that even I fight on it and tell myself I was good enough, nothing helps. I am already damaged. Damaged by basic acts of infidelity. Assurances and phrases to tell me that its nothing was all meaningless to me. I cant feel the fucking assurance. I don't feel safe. I feel attacked each time I saw those people he like on social media. I feel bothered each time he open his social media. I feel fucking bad that I cant check it anymore if the actions was still there because I’m already damaged. I already have fucking trauma. Its fucking shame. I am embarrassed for myself that I don't even look like those people he like. Why I am not fucking good enough? Why I look like shit? See though I know I was mad at him and it wasn't me who do bad things but here I am blaming myself why I am not good enough, Why my skin wasn't fine and white like them, why my fucking face isn't beautiful like them, why my body isn't fucking good like them. I blame myself because I am now damaged. 

I know no interactions shared but why should that be done? why you need to do such acts for them when you already have someone? why you just can say that you don't like your partner anymore because your fucking standard was shitty? why you cant just tell me to end everything so you can have what you really want? why lie and do something behind? why do such fucking thing you know that can ruin the relationship you have? why just not ask for break up if your not satisfied anymore? why cheat when all I do is to support you and do everything you wanted me to do? why cheat when I did not do bad for the entire relationship? why cheat when I sacrificed many things just to stay? why fucking cheat in a first place?

But yeah. I’m  going to be alright. I would learn to how not give any fuck. I will not investigate again and check his actions every time. the truth will eventually find its way to me without effort without even trying. and if that shit happen, I will not cry. I will not say anything. I’ll just pack all my things and be gone. Away from this area. Far away from people with shitty life. I will be great for myself. I will be good at my career and have a great salary I have. I’ll do my best even I was damaged. I’ll be the happiest even I was damaged. I will be okay and not be damaged anymore. The universe will help me through out. The universe is in favor to me. I know it. 

[iguessitsgabe]

Ive been getting a lot of intrusive thoughts atm.

Like what if i jump on the metro rails. Will people still missgender me after death?

Would my obituary put my dead name? I suspect my coworkers will keep treating me as a 'she' even after i kill myself.

I think what i would regret the most would be dying after my grandma, i wish she wouldn't realize im gone.

Also, i would regret not hearing my mom call me son. She knows im trans, but she would only treat me like a real man once i look like one.

I worry how my mom and grandma are going to subsist here when im the only one providing the economic support.

If i buy a life insurance, will it give them money if i kill myself?

Im sad my online friends wont find out. I lost contact with them due to my inability to face them as "myself". I wish they wouldn't find out, i prefer if they dislike me for distancing myself.

I have work today, but i dont want to go.

I told my mom about my intrusive thoughts and she just told me to try harder at therapy. As if its that easy .

I dont even want to keep going to therapy, i cant even make the activities my psychologist assign me. Because im such a failure i cant even try harder.

I didnt even get to finish university.

I couldn't even get into a university. Even if im studying for the entry test, i will not make it.

I told my mom i didnt want to go to work brcause im sick and sad, she blame me for not saying it later. Because the job its more important than my life.

#tw: suicide #tw: self harm #vent

[skoulsons]

Alright, scrambled ep3 thoughts

I love these credits so much

JOELLLL

just by the hand

is he burying someone?

WAIT

IS HE BURYING SARAH IS THIS THE START EPISODE FLASHBACK

but no his hand is hurt so it couldn’t be? Cause that’s from the QZ soldier?

oh Tess. I’m dumb as hell. lowkey forgot she died. rip annie too :/

10 miles okok we’re not far from Boston at all

LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE CAMPSITE

that is his jacket on her legs I might collapse

he’s mad at her isn’t he. or just grieving. but she looks scared n the way he just grabbed his bag gives me pissed off dad feeling

“YOU WANT YOU JACKET BACK” STOP

the little head shake :(

GIVE HER THE REST. YEAHHHHHH

i love seeing shit i know happened that we never get to see happen in game happen in show. and the stuff I always read about in fics. makes me happy :)

I have this underlying feeling he’s gonna snap at her for some reason and I really hope im not correct

baby he’s not gonna talk to you rn he’s grieving

“I don’t want your sorry’s” :(

“Nobody made you or Tess take me. Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery, or whatever, and you made a choice. So don’t blame me for something that isn’t my fault.” Damn she could tell already that he was. or was trying to

the head nod :) yay we’re at an understanding. maybe.

he’s just so pretty

the inside of his jacket looks so warm no wonder she had it

“How much longer?” “Five hour hike.” “We can manage that.” And the deadpan look and turn. how did we get so lucky with these two for Joel and Ellie.

his pants look nice.

I like how she’s taking her time behind him. she’s never been out here before, so to see pretty streams and green trees and hear all the bugs and whatnot around her must be so fascinating

franks nice 😭 cant wait to meet him

“How’d you get that scar on your head?” mmmmm

IS IT SOMETHING LAME 😭

oh it was just a bullet graze

“Cause you suck at shooting or, like, in general?” “In general.” he looked so befuddled

“You ask a lot of damn questions” i love annoyed joel

WOW this set looks amazing

(I started the ep 20 minutes ago and am five minutes in…)

is she talking about Riley :/

“Is there anything bad in here?” “Just you.” “Ah, getting funnier” :’) I hope that continues to be used. I REALLY hope it’s used late in the show when they’re a lot closer

“fuck 🤨😑”

secret little compartment mmm

“You alright back there?” don’t speak to me don’t look at me don’t address me

Ellie don’t go down NO

this is gonna go badly

LOOTING IN SHOW THIS IS SO FUN

yup clicker I KNEW IT

oh oh no he’s chilling under rubble we’re cool. is he considered a stalker? cause he can still see?

the infected look so damn good.

good job ellie 🥹

“Ellie?” SHUT UP FIRST TIME HE CALLED HER BY HER NAME 😭 reminds me of him waking up in winter and calling for her. his face looks confused and also worried mmmm the fatherly instinct <3

his face when he stands up 💀

“Ellie?” Really reminding me of winter :((

“Ellie?” A THIRD?? im sorry

and she’s up like nothing happened

“Well if you’re just gonna leave it there…” “No.” 🫶🏻

HEY THE PLANE SHOT.

“Get shoved into a middle seat. Pay $12 for a sandwich” i hate how true this is 💀

i love just watching them walk together

her asking him questions like he knows everything about it is so Ellie

WAS IT A MONKEY I BET IT WAS A MONKEY. they run into monkey’s at the university right?

“I thought you went to school?” i love this line for early show them

I love how this is all one shot.

oh not the music kicking in. are we getting sad.

PANCAKE MIX :((((

“Around the same time Thursday” :(

“Friday night, September 26th, 2003” :( the head drop and looking to Ellie and immediately bringing his head back up so she doesn’t see through him

He’s fighting this conversation so hard

him putting his hand out in front of her is like a parent doing it to their kid in the passenger seat. I love the little instinctive things he does.

“Now I have to see” “I don’t want you to. I’m serious. Ellie!” “Can it hurt me?” “…no.”

YOURE TOO HONEST MAN

is he laughing. is he did. did he just. im begging this show please.

oh it’s the pile :/

is that a broken guitar

wow so they just killed people who they couldn’t fit in the QZ? damn.

OOOOH FLASHBACK

the dead fucking baby are you kidding me. are you kidding me. that’s the child’s blanket. what the hell.

OH ITS BILL FOUR DAYS AFTER.

“Not today, you new world order jackboot fucks” man i love bill

bro bills got a hell of a stash down here

all the liquor 😭

that’s such a cheeky hiding spot wow

ah man I’m so excited for bill content

THE PICKUP TRUCK aw this makes me happy

This sequence is so good

just looting a Home Depot. good for you bill I would too

I love that we get to see more of him and the town

mans is self sufficient in every way. what a king

AND HE EATS LIKE A KING

BILLS TRAPS hell yeah

“Doesn’t get old”

The music is so so good

oh shit 2007 and he’s still going strong

oooh are we meeting Frank

HI FRANK

it’s so cool to get to meet him considering he’s dead in the game. cant wait for this to be happy.

“and this is not an Arby’s” “well, arbys didn’t have free lunch, it was a restaurant” he’s so great I love him

(It’s been an hour and I’m 24 minutes in 😶)

I wonder how long it’s been since bills seen an actual person

he’s still got some working showers damn

“Thank you :D” he sounds so sweet

Almost spit my water out when bill burst through the door

bill being a great cook is such a cute addition. cause that’s not in the game as far as I remember. he was just our local car guy

Frank got so excited for wine 😭

bill doesn’t know what to do yet this is great

aww does he know how to play

seeing bill play the piano and sing was not what I had on my bucket list of things for tlou but here we are

Are they trying to get things more back to normal for a community? Interesting. And bill doesn’t want to

“There are no friends to be had” ur so right bill

OH THERES ACTUAL PEOPLE

OH ITS JOEL AND TESS SKFHSJVFEBR excuse me im dumb sometimes

“Oh, you’re a paranoid schizophrenic too?” 😭😭

Tess looks adorable

man joel looks so cute

OH 80 MEANS TROUBLE. frank came up with that :/

Joel’s got a different bag too

I wonder what causes that scene w the rain and fire in the trailer

Not them jogging 😭

Bills me when I run

“a little one” 😭 i hope he’s telling the truth and didn’t sell a shotgun or something

bro I’d kill for a strawberry right now. MUSIC??;?;?;

oh heres the Fire and Water

POURING IT DIRECTLY IN FUCK THAT WOULD HURT

he’s in a wheelchair. oh no.

Aw he’s been painting :(

aw man this is upsetting

he can’t even open the bag :/

is he gonna pass in his sleep.

oh he’s up?

what :(

THE DOOR TO DOOR MRI SALESMAN

Oh is it cancer :/

he’s gotta die before all that I have a feeling

WOW they have whole suits still

I’d be a wreck if I had to do this

OH THE MUSIC. WHAT THEME IS THIS. WHICH THEME IS THIS? Is it all all gone (alone)? I don’t remember. Or a similar score to it maybe. It’s terribly familiar

heyyy we’re here

is this the same day. like did Frank just die.

oh foods moldy so it’s been a while

wait so bill left a letter instead?

oh shit

wow

“I never liked you” 💀

OOOH ITS SPEAKING TO JOEL THE NOTE

“I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But, I was wrong. Because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you with all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep Tess safe” :(( Bill wrote it for Tess but now it’s meant for Ellie I LOVE THIS

He’s literally having a mid life crisis right now.

JOEL SMILE. JOEL SMILE. JOEL SMILE.

WISJFUSKEISJFGDHs. Literally just went “OH. no. They wouldn’t.” I know this is the “what you say goes” scene but I thought they were gonna use the sulfuric acid to give her the chemical burn this early 😭

OOH WORD FOR WORD?? mmm almost.

“What you say goes.” Why does he look so tiny. LOOK AT HIM HE LOOKS SO HUGGABLE AND SMALL?? 🤏🏻🤏🏻🤏🏻🤏🏻

“Dude.” “No.”

“I’m gonna shower. And then you’re gonna shower. Seriously”

STOP I LITERALLY WAS THINKING ABOUT IF THEYD GET TO SHOWER EARLIER

awww man her shirt <3

ELLIE NO

oh jeez

“OH DONT YOU LOOK PRETTY” “SHUT UP” STOPDJFHDKFH i love them so much. fucking domestic shit DAMN you don’t understand how giddy this shit makes me.

his wet and slicked back hair 🫶🏻

FLANNEL JOEL <33

CAR RIDE

seatbelt 🥹

HIM REACHING OVER HER TO GRAB THE SEATBELT??;!;?;? ARE WE GONNA? please for the love of everything in the world don’t talk to me that shit just sent me to the fucking stratosphere and beyond. got chills fucking thinking about it. fucking love them so much

“So cool” giving Ellie in the spaceship vibes in tlou2

MY EPISODE JUSF CUT OUT?? I have like a minute left

okay we’re back

“Put it back. Ellie!” to “no, no, wait, leave it. Leave it. Oh this is good, this is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who Linda Ronstadt is?” look at him all giddy to listen to a Linda song again :(

HE JUST SMILED WITH TEETH?? HE JUST?? HE?)?(‘? SMILED?(??;! TEETH??

AND SHE SMILED BACK. cant wait to watch these last five minutes on a loop for the rest of my life

#the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams