#the whack thing i that i have different gay moods

[sallyf4ce]

wolves

chapter IV

-> sally face x f!reader

-> enemies? to lovers

-> previous | next

cw: drugs, cigarettes, violence, homophobia

*does not follow original plot of sally face*

summary: (y/n) and travis make up (ish), (y/n) gets hurt again (you really shouldn’t be surprised), larry gets a little moody (i don’t think he likes (y/n) very much), sal makes a move on (y/n) (although he doesn’t know he did)

“You’re (y/n), right? New kid?” Travis looks at you as you press the wet cloth to your nose. You nod.

“How’d you know?”

“Sal said it. he muttered. The disgusted look on his face was proven a facade by the blush on his cheeks.

“You’re in love, buddy.” you laugh.

“No i’m fucking not! You’re so fucking stupid, what the fuck? Who could love a faggot like Sally f-” you cut him off my shoving his head into the wall roughly. You don’t know what came over you, but being homophobic is still homophobic even if you’re in denial. You convinced yourself that it wasn’t about sally, it was just you being an ally. Way to kill the mood, travis.

“You pull that shit one more time and I'll leave you without teeth, blondie. Or would you rather i tell your dad that you hit girls?”

He squirms underneath your palm. “Sorry.” he looks at you with a pleading face.

You sigh and let him go. “S’fine. You need to learn how to control your anger, though, fuckface. You’re not gonna get anywhere with that attitude.” stuffing the bloody towel in your bag, you lead him out the door.

“I hate you.” Travis scoffs.

“What did i say?”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

“Larry, she’s already closer to travis than she is to us and they just met. Travis is a full-on dick, and they’re being all friendly! I didnt even know that was possible!” Sal chucks his bag in his locker. He hasn’t known you for long, but longer than travis! Plus he’s way nicer, too! Why’d you have to go and get all friendly with his bully?

“I don’t fucking like it either, sally face. Maybe we should just stay away from them.” Larry crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers.

Sal didn’t want to stay away from you, though. You were sweet, he was sure, just a little distant. Plus you just sort of intrigued him. He wanted to know why you were like this, what happened to you, why you had a prosthetic. Maybe it was hypocritical of him, though. He's only told Larry and Ashley about what happened to him, so he shouldn’t be picking at your trauma. you’ll tell him when you feel comfortable with it, but you’d need to be comfortable with him for that. and right now, it seems like you’re pretty comfortable with his bully.

“let’s go, dude. class starts in 5.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

After grabbing your schedule with Travis, you set your stuff in your new locker (which smelled pretty good, surprisingly.) and began walking to your first class, math. Travis laughed at you when you read your schedule outloud and you gave him a whack on the head. What an idiot. He headed off to his first class, english.

you opened the door to the classroom and coughed to get the attention of the teacher, Mrs. Packerton.

“Ah, lovely! Class, say hi to (y/n) (l/n)!” she smiles as you awkwardly wave.

“You’ll be sitting in the back, right beside Sal.” an inaudible groan leaves your cracked lips as you make your way towards him, trying not to make eye contact.

“uh, here.” he moves over. you plop yourself down next to him and open your notebook.

“we’re doing a test right now. i’m pretty sure you won’t have to do it, since it’s your first day and all.” his blue hair bounces as he looks over to you again. it looks fluffy.

“you wanna touch it?” he chuckles. you don’t want to come off creepy, but he’s offering, right?

you reach out your prosthetic hand but quickly pull it back and switch it, realizing you can’t actually feel with it. he chuckles at your mistake and leans in to your touch.

you were right. it felt like clouds, puffy but still silky. it wasn’t combed properly, though.

“Mr. Fisher and Mrs. (L/n), you little lovebirds. hands to yourselves, please.” Mrs. Packerton laughs a little. “Ah, young love.”

you quickly pull your hand back and flush.

“stupid old lady.” you mutter.

“Mrs. P’s nice, she’s just a little… enamoured in her students’ love lives.” sal laughs.

“stop, you’re making her sound like a pedophile!” you cover your mouth to suppress your laugh and sal’s face heats up even more. He made you laugh!

You both quieted down as Sal continued his test and you doodled in your sketchbook.

“are you okay? after travis, you know.” he hummed, a mix of concern and jealousy swirling in his eyes.

“uh, yeah. i’m fine.”

“You sure? Your lips look pretty busted.”

“It’s all good.”

“why do you hang out with him, anyway?” he turned his test upside down and faced you again.

“what do you mean?” you’re confused.

“he hit you in the face first thing in the morning. If i was you, i wouldn't really like him.” sal gripped his pencil.

“are you jealous?” you question, a smirk on your face.

“No.” his expression is hidden behind his mask. you look into his eyes, trying to make him blush.

the blue is a different blue than the one you saw yesterday. it’s lighter, almost like a porcelain blue.

“whatever you say, porcelain face.”

“porcelain face?”

“your mask, and your eyes, i guess. they’re like a porcelain doll’s.”

he hums.

“what are you then? metal hand? cyborg? fist of steel?”

“you forgot iron fist.”

“iron fist?”

“sure.” you grin. sal’s heart flutters again.

“Alright children, please hand in your tests and nicely file out the class. The bell will ring any moment.” Mrs. Packerton smiles sweetly and starts collecting tests. You grab your bag and leave the class.

Sal looked around the room for a bit, looking for you. A flash of (h/c) hair leaving the room catches his eyes. He tries running after you, but you’re already heading towards your next class.

•Lunch time•

“Shut the fuck up, Trav. I said she was stupid, not stupid hot. I don't know where you got hot from! I literally never said it.” You shoved his shoulder. He just snickered and continued teasing you.

“Hey, (y/n)! Come have lunch with us!” Sal saw you walking with travis. He waved you over from the cafeteria. Travis immediately stopped laughing and sneered. He quickly began walking over to sal, raising his fist.

“Leave us alone, fucking fag-” travis swung at sal but you stepped in front of them, raising your arm to cover sal’s face since he was taller.

Travis throws punches like a wrestler, You already knew that. Maybe you shouldn't have used your real hand to catch it.

His fist slammed into your forearm roughly and you flinched.

“Fuck- travis, go cool off. Now. Leave.” you hold onto your arm. It stings, but it's not broken. You’ll be fine.

“You’re all a bunch of-” he stops mid sentence as you give him a glare. It sort of said ‘you’re gay too, dumbass.’ he scrunched his eyebrows and walked off.

“Oh my fucking god!” a girl with brown hair ran over to you and lightly grabbed your arm.

“This her, sal? Are you (Y/n)?” she looked at you. She seemed very sweet. Kind of reminded you of your cousin.

“Uh- yeah- can you let go?”

She smiles in apology and lets go.

“You didn't have to do that, (y/n).” sal scratches the back of his head. You’ve gotten hurt twice because of him. How are you supposed to be friends if the only thing sal does is hurt you?

“I think maple might have an ice pack in her lunch. Can you come sit with us?” He hopes you say yes.

“Yeah, okay.” you needed the ice pack and travis was nowhere to be seen, so you didn’t really have a choice.

“Hey, (y/n).” Larry grumbles as you walk to their table. It seems he’s upset with you.

“I just saved your buddy from travis. Not to your liking or something?” you look up to him. If something’s wrong, he should just fucking say it. Not beat around the bush like a pussy.

“Yeah. you and travis seem to be getting along well.” he finally makes eye contact with you. Sal and the girl seem uncomfortable.

“We all got our issues, asshole. Some of us just know how to deal with them better than others.” You sneer. He’s allowed not to like Travis, but he’s not allowed to be a bitch to you because you actually understand his actions and choose to help him instead of ignoring him.

“Whatever.” he spits. You turn to sal.

“I’ll get my own ice.” you begin walking away. “Also, watch your dog.” you hear sal chuckle as larry groans. He walks up to you before you can leave, Larry throwing his arms up in the air in disbelief.

“Hey, uh, (y/n)? I’m sorry you got hurt. Could- could i make it up to you somehow?” his hand is on yours. It’s warm, he’s probably blushing hard under his mask.

“Sure, sally. How would you do that?” you spin around to face him. You can see his mask rise a little and his smile peaks through.

“Do you have a phone?” he pulls his cell out. It’s just a simple black flip-phone with a few paint splatters.

“I do, it’s in my locker. I dont have my number memorized, though. Stupid area codes.” you mumble. “You wanna come get it with me?”

Sal looks back to his friends. Ash is nodding frantically while Larry twirls a cigarette through his fingers, still mad.

“Alright.”

taglist: @purelydarling @deadpoetsandhoney @ghostfacefricker6969 @percyyzz @whatsurgamertag @kiillian @potatochic2003 @beingaweebishell @glitterydonutangel @izzydrawsandwrites @angellicbitch @elebeleb @dream-of-eros @mr-bombastic

#sally face x reader #ashley campbell #larry johnson #sal fisher x reader #sally face #sally face smut

[ineffable-endearments]

Okay. Now I'm going to submit some theories about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale specifically are going to go in the future of Good Omens.

Again, this post is not really...specific theorizing about plot events. It's big-picture stuff.

With that said, this post will get a bit heavy at times, in the sense that it will contain opinions that not everyone will like. It drifted into rambling about queerbaiting and all that stuff. I'm not going to spam anyone's dashboard with drama over it, but it's very possible someone else might try. It's also not really a negative post, depending on what you want to hear, I suppose. But if you're only in the mood to read fluff today, you'll probably want to pass it up.

Oh! Also it's very long, and sexuality is discussed in a vague way that doesn't involve any story elements or body parts.

For starters, I don't think Good Omens 2 - or even 3, if that comes about - is going to have anything explicitly sexual or romantic between the two of them, where "explicit" is things like the characters giving outright definitions of their relationship or outright discussing exactly what goes on between them, either on or off-screen. I also don't think there's going to be kissing or "hooking up" (come on...that person on Twitter shouldn't have even asked). Those actions are too blatant for what Neil has already said about the series. While they technically leave some room for interpretation, they probably don't leave enough.

I DO think it's quite possible other characters will continue to define the relationship FOR them and Crowley and Aziraphale will continue to not deny it.

As far as the queerbaiting debate, "is Good Omens queerbaiting"...it's gonna depend how you define it. I always learned that queerbaiting was basically where the creators intentionally make it look like a character is gay or otherwise queer but then swap that character development out for a cis identity and hetero relationship at the end. The point is that the "bait" leads to queer audiences being actively hurt. That's the behavior that seems awful to me, and I don't see Neil and company doing that.

However, I think it's far and away the most likely option that it will be left up to interpretation whether Crowley and Aziraphale are, you know, a buddy duo or a romantic couple or some sort of ineffable queerness all their own off-screen. So if your definition of queerbaiting is "the characters seem gay to us, but homophobes can tell themselves they're not," then yes, I think that debate will follow us to our graves if we let it.

I am a cisgender, possibly straight (?? demi/bi? I might never find out) woman. There is absolutely no way I could ever tell anybody, ESPECIALLY not gay guys and nonbinary people - the people Crowley and Aziraphale tend to resemble the most - how to feel about their treatment in the story. All I can offer is that I'm one flawed individual and there are things I have the emotional capacity to handle and things I don't. Crowley and Aziraphale as both a canon construct and a fandom pairing mean an absurd amount to me, and I can't hang around in spaces where people are constantly talking about how my own interpretations of them are not enough, or how the story is written with ill intentions. I don't want to stop anybody from venting about it, but I am going to be removing myself from those situations.

I like to imagine 1990 NeilandTerry, or TerryandNeil, as a sort of two-headed God who came up with Crowley and Aziraphale, set them loose on Creation, and now are watching them get up to way more ridiculous stuff in the brains of their fans than they'd ever imagined in the first place. I like to imagine them watching, amused and bemused, as their creations fall in love in thousands of universes, and saying, "Well, we didn't specifically Plan for this, but we did promise free will."

This is psychoanalytical toward a public figure and is therefore a bit dangerous, so please take it with an entire mountain of salt, but I sometimes think perhaps Neil sees some of his and Terry's friendship in Crowley and Aziraphale, and suspect that he wants to reserve the possibility that they could be platonic because he and Terry were platonic, while at the same time leaving room for the fans to have their own interpretations, too. Because if there's one thing that comes up really frequently with Neil, it's his belief in imagination and how much stories matter to people. He can have his little corner of the universe where A and C reflect himself and Terry, and we can have...literally anything we want, as long as we're willing to extrapolate just a little bit from canon. It's not even that much extrapolation! It's just "Yes, they love each other, so what exactly does love mean to you?" and if love means kissing, well then, if we can think it, we can have it.

Given that Neil has written LGBT+ characters before, I think he has non-bigoted reasons for wanting Aziraphale and Crowley to remain undefined, and given even the small chance that those reasons may involve the grieving process for a dead friend, I believe it is unkind to argue with him about it or hold his reputation hostage over it.

With that said, do I want canon kissing/hooking up/all that stuff we put in fics? Listen, I can't deny that I do! Personally, I'd be over the moon. I'd probably be so happy I'd have to go to the hospital to get sorted out. Even the thought of it makes me giddy and light-headed, because that physicality is a part of my own experience of love.

However, there are a lot of people who would feel left behind if that happened. Ace and aro people in the fandom whose love for their friends and partners is just as strong as mine, but who are sex-repulsed or just don't want to see kissing on-screen. The loss of Crowley and Aziraphale as a pairing who are extremely easy to interpret as queerplatonic would be hurtful to them, and I do not want to see them hurt like that. I don't think Neil does, either.

So, once again, the "best for everyone" option becomes a really strong canon relationship based in both narrative function and profound affection, which has genuinely thoughtful queer undertones and leaves open the logical possibility for romantic or sexual encounters but does not insist that they must happen. People, especially fans who are super invested, tend to have an easier time imagining scenarios that take place off-screen (e.g. kissing, sex) than they have erasing scenarios that they've already seen in canon (e.g., if someone wished they could continue viewing it as an ace relationship but they were shown "hooking up"). Also, while relationships are super emotional and extremely subjective, I'd argue that in a long-term adult partnership, the non-sexual connection is more important than the sexual one. As a fan, I'd prefer to extrapolate "they love each other so maybe they'd have sex" rather than "they're sexually attracted to each other so maybe they'll intertwine their whole existences together."

It probably isn't necessary to add, but I will anyway: I'm aware that Good Omens is sort of sacrificing social leverage - the ability to whack homophobes over the head with canon if they try to deny the show's queerness - and is thus not really contributing to making specifically gay relationships more widely seen and accepted. However, I don't think all stories have to invest heavily in every social issue they touch on for them to still be meaningful. I also do think Good Omens is an excellent example of a relationship that is extremely profound without being heteronormative.

I don't think the next season is going to be a rom-com. It will likely not even be a "love story," where the definition of "love story" is "a story that follows the development of a relationship and employs certain plot beats to make its point." Remember that conflicts and breakups are key to love stories, so if it IS a love story, then we're going to have to watch the relationship get challenged in ways some of us might have thought were already resolved in season 1! And while that could be thrilling and ultimately very good, it would also be likely to undercut some of the careful headcanoning and analysis we've already done. Any sequel is going to do that to some degree, but a second love story would probably do it a lot, with interpretations that people are even more protective of.

I'm sort of thinking the next season is likely to be a fantasy-heavy mystery, only because those are the two concepts Neil's introduction led with - an angel with amnesia who presents Crowley and Aziraphale with a mystery. Crowley and Aziraphale's connection to each other can still absolutely be a major theme! It can still be the thread stitching the plot together! It just probably, in my opinion, won't escalate and escalate and escalate like it did in season 1. And it will probably be woven in there among a lot of other plot threads that are, in many moments, louder. Still, I'd love to be left with the impression of these two existences, the light and the dark, subtly becoming more intimate, subtly growing more comfortable in this shared place they've chosen in the universe, gradually starting to behave like they know they aren't alone in the world anymore, all while other things happen to and around them.

Nonsexual physical intimacy - a really great hug, or leaning together on the sofa, or a forehead touch, or something like those, something that could happen in a lot of different kinds of relationships but is undoubtedly based in deep trust and affection and a desire to be close...that's the dream, for me. Oh, how lovely it would be.

Of course, I could be just absolutely, embarrassingly wrong about all this. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

[howdoyousleep3]

“put you on something new” - part 3

The frat!Steve x jock!Bucky College AU by @the1918​​ and @howdoyousleep3​​

Read Part 2 

Author’s Note: I suggest listening to this or this as you read to set the mood. This is also your headsup that there is recreational drug activity in this installation. 😘

Steve tries his hardest to act as natural as possible as he opens his bedroom door and welcomes Bucky into his bedroom. His bedroom. The place he sleeps and does his homework and totally fucks chicks in. Yes. Chicks. 

But Bucky’s here now and Steve feels like this is a momentous occasion but has yet to figure out why.

He knows he hasn’t smoked yet, knows his buzz trickled off more than an hour ago, so maybe he’s dreaming as Lucky Bucky walks into his room and takes a look around. Steve is a clean person, even living amongst the chaos and filth that is a fraternity, but he’s self-conscious about literally everything in his room as he watches Bucky’s eyes scan each wall. 

“You get a room all to yourself, Rogers?” Bucky asks and it’s even more startling to hear Bucky’s smooth voice bounce off the walls of his own room. Bucky’s in his room. 

“Uhh, yeah yeah I get one as Class President and as a junior,” he explains with a nod as he closes his door, makes his way to his desk drawer, his stash. He doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know if he should fill the empty silence with any more chatter or if him getting out a joint is an acceptable filler. 

“You got it made don’t, don’t ya, guy?” Bucky chuckles and when Steve turns to laugh with him he sees that the brunette is slipping his shoes off likes it’s the nth time he has done this and climbs into his bed in the same manner. Thank fuck Steve made his bed this morning because he isn’t sure he could handle the image of Bucky crawling into his unkept bed for fear of...for fear of…

“This okay?” Bucky asks as he crosses one thick thigh over the other, getting comfortable and leans back against the wall his bed rests against even before Steve says anything. The question is broad, leaves Steve standing at his desk with a lighter in his hand answering, “Yes. Yeah, it’s...it’s all good,” while wondering what he even means by that. Steve doesn’t want to think anymore, avoids all thought and lights the joint.

Steve’s fingers tremble as he hands Bucky the joint, knows it’s pretty fucking obvious and that there’s nothing he can do about it. Maybe that’s why Bucky’s lips tug up at the corners as he takes it from Steve, holds it between his fingers for a second. “You sure you don’t want first go?” he asks Steve and he shakes his head, probably too many times, rubs his hands on his knees as he settles back into his bed, relishes in how the cool wall feels against the line of his back. “Nah, it’s all you, bro go ahead.” There are a thousand other places he can look all throughout the room: the TV that is lit up in the corner, the window where outside god only knows what is happening, the ceiling, the floor, his own fucking hands. None of them are what he actually ends up locking eyes on, which is Bucky Barnes’ fucking mouth. Steve doesn’t do a damn thing to stop himself either, gives himself this moment to look at Bucky, to look at him, to watch his lips wrap around the end of the joint. He watches him inhale, wonders if he looks as hot as Lucky Bucky does when he smokes, wonders if people look at his lips as he does so. Bucky’s eyebrows raise as he lets the smoke linger in his lungs a little more, holds his breath some. When he exhales he tips his head back, directs the smoke upwards, and Steve finds his eyes falling to Bucky’s neck again, watches the way it works and moves under the light of his shitty desk lamp. “That’s good shit. Way better than what Pi Kappa had at their kegger last month. Shit was whack,” Bucky tells Steve casually as he settles back against the same wall Steve is leaning back on, settles into Steve’s bed, his jacked form, arm and thigh, rubbing up against Steve’s.

Just like the rest of the night, since the off-comment about his lips, this gesture and moment seem just as casual. While Bucky exudes confidence and moves with unwavering purpose Steve sits there feeling like he’s vibrating from the inside out, feeling like Bucky’s touch on his own body is an electric shock. No girl has ever made him feel this way. What the fuck? Why did he just think that? Before he can panic again, Steve sees Bucky bring his hand up to his mouth, hears him inhale long and slow, but then-- Fuck, Bucky’s turning and tipping Steve’s chin up for the second time that night, and it’s happening for real this time, Bucky’s going to-- Bucky’s lips are warm and slick and plush, and they’re on Steve’s lips, Bucky’s lips are. They’re on Steve’s lips. Steve is immobilized, can’t do anything but make a stupid little mphh, and Bucky is tilting his head to the side, a glide that makes Steve dick betray him and twitch in his jeans, makes him let out a small noise that he’s heard broads make before. Steve knows what is happening, knows that Bucky didn’t exhale before pressing his lips to Steve’s on purpose, but he can’t connect the dots in his mind. But Bucky is exhaling now, blowing the smoke from his mouth into Steve’s own, letting out a low rumble of a noise that has Steve’s insides tossing. Steve’s gasp is perfectly timed to inhale, a gasp in response to feeling Bucky’s capable hand cup his jaw. Fuck. Steve holds his breath, doesn’t move an inch because if he moves then it becomes something different, then this is him kissing Bucky, and that’s… That’s somethin’ entirely different. 

Steve doesn’t know what to think about the way Bucky’s lips linger on his own, doesn’t know what to think about the way he pulls back just long enough to look up at Steve’s eyes. He definitely doesn’t fucking know what to think when Bucky comes back in, presses one more hot kiss to his lips before settling back against the wall. 

Steve needs ten more hits and needs them all to hit him right now, right fucking now. He sits there in sheer internal panic as Bucky inhales, holds it, tips his head up, and then exhales towards the ceiling. He sits there and acts like he didn’t just fucking kiss Steve, like their lips didn’t touch, like he didn’t make Steve moan by doing so. Is Bucky hard right now like Steve is? Fuck, is Steve hard right now?

Fuck! What the fuck! 

As soon as Bucky hands Steve the joint back, it’s between his lips, and he’s sucking that shit down and trying really really hard to not think about how it’s touching his lips just like Bucky’s lips did. He takes two more hits and spends it thinking about how warm Bucky’s lips were, wonders how many other guys Bucky has kissed, wonders if Bucky will try and kiss him again. Was that technically a kiss? What does this mean about Steve now? Does he feel any different? 

Bucky’s fingers on his wrist pull him out of his thoughts and he turns his head and fuck, that’s a mistake because now he’s looking into Bucky’s eyes. Have they always been this close to each other? Shit, Bucky’s eyes look killer in this lighting. 

“What?” Steve says out loud to himself to his own internal thoughts but naturally Bucky thinks Steve is talking to him. The fingers on his wrist slides like fire to his fingers, pluck the joint from them. 

“Nothin’. Just want another hit. You good, punk?” Bucky asks him, voice hitting his ears like velvet and he doesn’t even realize he’s staring at Bucky’s lips until he sees the football star smirk after he exhales. Shit. 

Shit has to be hitting him at least a little at this point because Steve hears himself murmur, “You gay or somethin’, Buck?” because that’s only the logical explanation for what has transpired over the past few hours, right? 

Outside of tonight and outside of this context he knows he would be horrified by his forwardness, is sure he will be later when he thinks back on this moment. He also knows that probably any other time it would warrant him a black eye, knows Bucky could knock his head clean off, but Bucky surprisingly takes it in stride. 

He giggles, a bubble of a noise, hands Steve the joint back, tilts his chin up to face him again. 

“What? You think I’m gay because I shotgunned with you?” 

Oh. Well, that hits him like a slap, makes him flustered. Bucky kissed him. Right? Bucky put his lips on Steve’s and that constitutes a kiss. Right? His confusion must be transparent as all get out because he feels the puffs of air on his own lips as Bucky chuckles again, ignores the urge to lean forward and close the gap between them, because that would be super gay. Or...something?

“Oh, doll-- you’re gonna learn tonight…” 

Oh boy things are getting steamy! You’re up, Lynne! 

#put you on something new #stevebucky #steve/bucky #stucky #steve x bucky #stucky ff #stucky au #steve rogers #bucky barnes #captain america

[loki-the-trikster-god]

heelow i am clyde

ah yes the constant mood. i should be doing homework rn but u know what i don’t want to so i’m not going to

ugh yes me too. it’s very annoying mostly because i always end up forgetting something. sigh

ohhh. interesting. whack indeed

ahaha yes. darling i bet u would look amazing with red hair can’t wait till u get it dyed :))

also ur clothes are like... so awesome. i’ve said this at least twice but, a pink ombré button up? like bro that’s some fashion sense right there

hmmm. i don’t really like winter but that is mostly bc my winter coat makes me look like an idiot and my parents won’t let me get one i actually like. i like the floofy hats tho. hm. cold weather... i mean it’s fine i just don’t like it when it gets so cold every part of me hurts (and they still make us go out for recess like i know you hate us school but you don’t need to kill us). it actually gets pretty hot here. it’s weird, the summers can get like super melting hot but the winters can get freeze-your-ass-off cold too.

yes very much so agreed. ohh that would be so cool.

caramel popcorn is good. ooh i know that mix you’re taking about! i cant remember what it’s called rn (stupid brain) but yeah it’s really good if you eat them together.

hm wow take advantage of that occasion because it sure as hell doesn’t come often. wow that’s pretty good. 👏applause👏. sigh ikr. i was trying to make mother’s day cards yesterday and all the good crafting supplies are at my moms house it’s annoying. as u said, o well.

i like the way u think. cuddly dragons *hugs dragon*

oof. oh really you can only order mcdonald’s through the app? that’s strange. it’s not that way here, though only the drive throughs are even open so... i don’t think i’ve ever had subway tbh. is it good?

that is really cool. glad you’ve found your “thing”. glee looks interesting, maybe i’ll watch it.

ahaha i love ur motivation to join tumblr lol. that’s awesome. “it’s what the gay kids do” brilliant. i joined tumblr bc i already had pinterest, and i had looked at every single screenshot of a tumblr post ever to be on that site, so i decided to get tumblr and see the originals hehe.

yay thank u for the long response :))

see, i’m just gonna tell u this bc if i tell anyone else they’ll think i’m even more of a freak (it’s ok u can think i’m one too). i had this weird dream last night where we were doing this scavenger hunt thing, idk it made no sense. but at the end of the hunt, there was this kid. he said he knew me but i couldn’t remember for the life of me from where, but he looked familiar. he said his name was aarynn (that’s how i chose to spell it idk) and that he was my friend. so i woke up and i’ve been talking to him in my head ever since? is this a sign of some sort of extreme loneliness? idk what’s happening.

yeah idk i’m sry for projecting this onto u i just don’t know who i can talk to at this point

thanks!! i like it a lot too.

farewell my darling cecil, loki.

until next time!

Hihi!! I am feeling better! I was sick for a day or two but I’m ok now let’s gooo

Shoutout to going to the doctor three times in a weekend uwu

Awww I’m so flattered that you like my fashion sense, I literally dress like All The Transmascs™️ but i think I look good lol!! I mean clearly not all of them cause they all dress different but you know. I went on a hike with another trans guy and we were both wearing Hawaiian shirts it was so good. Did I tell you that already? Maybe lol

Rip yeah I used to hate winter cause my winter jacket was gross and puffy and ugly and I had gross boots and I’m like eewww but then mom took my old stuff and let me wear like Cool Person Clothes™️ and now I like it a lot better. Yeah I also don’t like going outside when it’s really really cold but I like the ambiance and I like being inside and looking at the cold u know and I’ll have fuzzy sweaters and hot chocolate and stuff. Rip, yeah weather do be getting more extreme because of le climate change and stuff

Omg I didn’t know there was a word for the mix of things...... it was just called caramel and cheddar popcorn mix when I bought it lol.

Omg yeah my dad will buy me anything lmaoooooooo he’s very loose with money on account of him being a communist so he doesn’t believe in it.

It’s just the one local McDonald’s but that store is a bitch. Subways pretty nice, sandwiches aren’t my thing but the pizza tastes like your last road trip so that’s that.

Side note, iconic what’s happening to food chains that won’t pay workers better? How they’re all like :,,((( no one will work here?? Fuck them I hope they end lol.

Glee is a basically a soap opera, it’s just a hardcore relatable one if you’re a dramatic bitch like me. I say this cause like. Some people like it because it’s dumb but it’s definitely dumb lmaooo. Wish gay stereotypes could stop being relatable af tho smh

Oh that’s also a really valid reason to join tumblr lol. Yeah my friend is pretty iconic, the one I joined with. And I got my wish, for it is indeed very gay here.

I talk to imaginary people a lot too. Usually I do fictional characters but sometimes I just make people up too. That’s different from this tho. I don’t know what it is, really, but it’s super cool. I want a dream friend. Is it worrying you, or are you just like ok neat? Cause I think brains are super cool and just make things a lot. It could be related to isolation, though, yeah. Brains make stimuli when there aren’t any. Anyways yeah say hi for me ig

You could always talk to me dude I’m cool with it. Nothing you could tell me would be the weirdest thing someone has told me so like *shrug* and also youre my friend so it’s chill

See u next time, bro!!!

#loki stuff #its clyde!

[hotgirlrry]

10 music recommendations you’ve been listening to recently

thank you @wearelikenanana for tagging me in this!! im super excited bc ive been listening to a lot of different artists lately but this was really stressful bc of how many people i listen to.. so yeah!

1. freddie dredd: i knew about him because of edits from the pretty girls on twitter, and then i found out he makes songs because of tik tok, i’m not ashamed to admit it. most if not all of his songs start with samples that works really well into the song and i kinda dig it?? his songs aren’t that long and they’re super catchy filler music but he’s definitely not for everyone lyrics wise so i’ll rec his popular singles 

recs: cha cha, evil fantasy, weather, opaul 

2. joji: i dabbled in the world of filthy frank and then i remembered i wasn’t an edgy 12 year old white boy so i stopped, but i love joji so much. he makes like bedroom r&b-ish type songs, they didn’t feel like professional songs until his newest stuff and i’m perfectly fine with that.

recs: midsummer madness (with 88rising), test drive, run, will he 

3. rina sawayama: i don’t think there’s an artist that i could love more tbh?? all her songs are so different and so good at the same time like i don’t have words to describe how much i love her music fghsnjnsgudihusfg i feel like im 16 again but like waaaay more introspective and grown

recs: cherry, comme des garçons (like the boys), cyber stockholm syndrome, tokyo love hotel 

4. doja cat: queen of homophobia! after moo! i canceled her ass after her whack ass apology but like the other gays didn’t care and like what was the point? she’s talented as hell!! listening her songs makes me feel grown lmao. i love that she can sing and rap, its like getting a feature but you’re never disappointed by the rapper 

recs: casual, won’t bite, juicy, rules 

5. tame impala: everyone and their mother knows tame impala but that’s my mf band dawg. each song kevin parker puts out makes me a better person. i love his voice i love how relatable their songs are like with rina i just feel like im a more introspective high schooler 

recs: love/paranoia, breathe deeper, apocalypse dreams, instant destiny 

6. megan thee stallion: my old roommate is the one that introduced me to meg lowkey by force, lowkey but im not mad i love her. most people are getting tired of her flow but its hers! if it ain’t broke she shouldn’t fix it, also some of her lyrics are really funny 

recs: hit my phone, simon says, big ole freak, diamonds

7. still woozy: the first of white men feel good music (i found him bc of an edit of someone in this list you can prob guess who). besides rina this is probably the most recent artist i’ve gotten into and its a great time, he does that whisper-sing thing that most artists do nowadays but it’s not hard to understand if that makes sense?? but he’s quickly becoming a fave 

recs: lazy, goodie bag, habit, window

8. the driver era: last ever wbotm ross lynch and his brother make the BEST feel good music holy shit. i used to listen to their songs whenever i would go to class (rip) because i felt like nobody could tell me anything, i was in my own world 

recs: a kiss, natural, san francisco, afterglow 

9. wallows: i DON’T watch 13rw, i simply live for summery music made by lanky white men sometimes. their music is such a vibe back when outside was legal i also used to listen to their songs when i walked to class because it puts me in such a good mood 10/10

recs: pictures of girls, OK, these days, scrawny 

10. emotional oranges: i almost forgot about them omg i found them by accident, looking for a starter song for a playlist back when i used spotify and the rest was history. they’re actually an anonymous collective from la with two lead singers that are phenomenal, their music is like the border of bedroom r&b and soul. my crowning achievement was seeing them live for 22 dollars i love them sm 

recs: don’t be lazy, personal, not worth it, west coast love (ive recced so much of them it’s sad) 

i tag: @fireproofs @loverstop @tpwk2019 @h-isforhome @wastelandharry @strawberryhabit @lightsupwithharry @sunflowrmoon @halosboat @toenialls @rosemari (you’re not obligated to and its not just limited to the ppl i tagged!)

#this isn't even half of them fdbgudnfsugjrbjsf some i couldn't put bc they only have few songs (normani) #or ive only listened to one project (kiana ledé) #or listening to their music isn't worth finding out they just do the most (summer walker) #or ive talked about them so much its literally overkill to put them again like i'll talk about them tomorrow #mine #but i'll still song recs im not stingy! i love talking about music

[rosedavid]

I honestly don’t know how I wrote this much, but it just happened. 

Tyrus ‘what if’ oneshot based on these lines: “I’m sorry.” // “I was probably deluding myself anyway.”

Tag list: @swingsetsandmuffins @chlarkthe1st @turtle0verl0rd

Why does it hurt so much?

Cyrus asks himself this question a lot nowadays. When TJ’s text notifications light up his phone, when he spots TJ standing at his locker between classes, when TJ sits with Kira during lunch. Every time, a lump forms in his throat and unshed tears burn his eyes. His friends tell him to stop wasting his energy on TJ, that he doesn’t deserve Cyrus anyway. So Cyrus tries to ignore him and pretend like everything is okay. Somedays, he wakes up and thinks that today will be the day that he feels like normal again. He’ll be able to walk right past TJ without even noticing him. That day still hasn’t come. 

Of course, Buffy and Andi have noticed the subtle changes in Cyrus’s mood. Although he’s admittedly much better than right after costume day, when he went and cried into his pillow in his room, he still feels a hole in his life. He smiles a little less and laughs a little quieter. More often than not, he’ll reject hanging out with his friends unless they’re at someone’s house because he worries he might run into TJ.

Due to these changes, convincing him to come to The Spoon after school is a difficult feat.

“Come on, Cy, it will be fun,” Andi prods. “Don’t you miss baby taters?”

“Not when my parents can get takeout and bring them home to me.”

Buffy decides to chime in next. “I know you’re still hurting, but you can’t let TJ ruin things for you! He’s not worth it. Please come, you know the two of us would never let anything bad happen.”

Cyrus knows she’s right. With everything going on in their lives recently, they all deserve a nice day to relax. He looks at his best friends who eagerly wait for his response. Finally, Cyrus let’s out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yeah, you’re right. And I’m sorry I’ve been so out of whack this week.”

“You lost a good friend, of course you’re out of whack. Besides, I think all of us are struggling with stuff right now,” Andi sighs, placing her head in her hands. Buffy nods in agreement.

A good friend.

Why does it hurt so much?

Deep down, Cyrus knows the answer. He just doesn’t want to admit it because if he does, everything will change for the worse. The special moments between them, the words of encouragement, and lingering touches will mean more; therefore, the heartbreak, the sense of betrayal, all of it will be stronger. So he pushes it back.

At one point in time, Cyrus did have hope. In fact, TJ asking him to do the somersault costume gave him the most hope of all. He felt wanted and perhaps even special. Then, it all came crashing down.

Despite everything that TJ has put him through, Cyrus can’t bring himself to despise him. He can’t even bring himself to be indifferent about TJ. Instead, all he feels is sad and lonely, and he hates himself for it. He still has Andi and Buffy and Jonah here for him, but TJ always filled a different part of his life. Now, that part of his life is an empty chasm.

The remainder of school drags on. The only thing that makes it go faster is that Cyrus doesn’t see TJ once. Nevertheless, lately he fixates on the other boy whenever his mind is wandering. Once school finally does end, he gets excited to hang out with his friends and distract him. Whenever he’s around them, they make him happy.

“Hope you’re hungry for baby taters,” Andi says as they walk to their typical booth in The Spoon.

Cyrus chuckles. “Always. Don’t forget the milkshakes.”

Buffy grins, sliding in beside him. “So, you guys will never believe what happened today in biology…”

That gets them started. Cyrus finds himself not even thinking about TJ.

The bell above the door chimes. That’s when everything goes wrong.

At first, Cyrus pays them no attention, his back to the door. Then, he notices Andi’s face drop at the same time rambunctious laughter starts up. He turns his head toward the front of the diner. It’s some of the members from the boys’ basketball team, and of course that includes TJ and Kira. Are they ever apart? Buffy turns to look as well, face turning into a sneer immediately.

“Don’t worry about them, Cyrus. Just ignore them.”

Cyrus hears Buffy’s voice in the back of his mind, but he’s more concentrated on TJ. This is the closest the other boy has been to him in a long time. He can almost make out the freckles along his cheeks. Then, TJ catches his eyes. Blue lock onto green. Cyrus can’t make himself look away. TJ swallows, opening his mouth slightly as if to speak.

“Oh look, we found the loser table,” Kira taunts, pointing at them. Beside her, TJ says nothing. He drops his mouth closed, eyes moving down toward his feet.

Cyrus can’t deal with this any longer. He rises from his seat, pushing past everyone to go straight out the door. This time, he can’t prevent the tears from leaking out. Seeing him right there with Kira, so close yet so far, it hurt too much. He didn’t even do anything, like he didn’t care. Did he ever care?

“Wait! Cyrus!” Andi calls after him.

He keeps going, not sure where he’s headed. All he knows is he needs to get as far away from TJ as possible. His feet carry him farther and farther, vision blurry from tears and breath short. He still hears footsteps behind him, signifying Buffy and Andi following him.

He’s at the park. This is where everything with TJ started, so it’s only fair it should end here, too. Cyrus can’t bring himself to sit on the swings, so instead, he heads for a bench nearby. Soon, Andi and Buffy come into sight, both wearing sorrowful expressions. They sit down, as well, sandwiching him between them.

“Are you okay?” Andi asks.

Cyrus laughs bitterly. “It just hurts, seeing TJ there with her. It reminds me that he chose her over me. I can’t even blame him! Most boys would’ve chosen her.”

He kicks at the dirt beneath his feet, trying to calm down. His tears slow but refuse to stop completely. Meanwhile, Andi and Buff wrap an arm around him to pull him into a side hug.

His breath hitches. “The worst part isn’t even that I liked him, it’s that I thought he was starting to like me back.”

With the gentlest voice he’s ever heard from her, Buffy whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“I was probably deluding myself anyway,” Cyrus admits with a sniffle.

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

Suddenly, Andi and Buffy tense up beside him. Cyrus brings his head up and pales. He starts to make a move to leave in a hurry. His friends seem to agree with him, following in his footsteps. That’s when TJ speaks.

“Please, wait,” he begs, voice gritty. Cyrus realizes this is the first time TJ has said one word to him since costume day.

“Come on, let’s just go,” Andi urges, but something compels Cyrus to stand his ground.

“Why should I?” He questions. “After everything you’ve done, why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

TJ steps closer. “Just let me explain, please. After that, you don’t have to talk to me ever again if that’s what you want.”

For a split second, Cyrus considers just walking away and not listening to what he has to say, but he can’t. Something seems different about TJ, and not in a good way. Even though they haven’t been talking for a long time, Cyrus knows him. He’s acting off. Maybe it will make things worse, but Cyrus decides that he at least needs some kind of answer.

“Ok.”

“What are you doing, Cyrus?” Buffy worries.

Cyrus turns and smiles slightly at her. “It’s alright, I promise. Wait for me over there?”

The two of them cast him lingering glances before they warily walk away to give them privacy. Cyrus collapses onto the bench. TJ perches on the opposite end. The space feels greater than ever before.

“I miss you,” TJ sputters out.

The desperation in his words make Cyrus want to forgive him then and there, but this time won’t be so easy. “Why did you do it, TJ? Why did you abandon me?”

“I didn’t want to! I was really excited to do our costume, but I just…I couldn’t.”

Cyrus throws his hands up. “That’s not an explanation TJ! Do you know how hard this has been for me? Seeing her with you all the time, knowing that you chose her, it makes me feel like you never really cared about me.”

“That’s not true, I swear!”

“You made me feel special,” Cyrus says, voice cracking. “For once, I didn’t feel like the second choice. But I guess, in the end, I was.”

“You never were, Cyrus,” TJ promises. “I shouldn’t have abandoned you on costume day. I’m a horrible person, but I would never choose Kira over you.”

“You already did.”

“She didn’t leave me any choice!” He shouts. “She didn’t…I had to.”

This throws Cyrus off. “What are you talking about, TJ?”

“I’m a coward, okay? I’m a huge coward. The way she said it just set me off. I couldn’t risk it.”

“Risk what?” Cyrus asks, feeling more and more concerned.

Beside him, TJ is close to hyperventilating. He has tear tracks on his cheeks and runs a hand through his already tousled hair. He looks so unguarded, unlike anything Cyrus has ever seen from him, even when he was coming to terms with his dyscalculia.

Cyrus scoots closer so their shoulders just barely brush. “Hey, you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t want you to hate me,” He murmurs.

“Honestly, I don’t think I could ever hate you,” Cyrus admits. “Even after the whole costume debacle, I tried so hard to hate you, but I just couldn’t.”

TJ brings up a hand and wipes it over his face. His fingers clutch a bundle of his hoodie. After debating with himself for a moment, Cyrus places his hand on TJ’s shoulder. This movement causes TJ to startle and glance up. Cyrus flashes him a gentle smile.

“Kira, she said it was weird of me to be doing a costume with you instead of her,” TJ explains, “and the way she said it…it sounded like she was implying something that I wasn’t ready for people to know.”

A beat of silence.  

“I’m gay.”

Cyrus tugs him into a hug. His heartbeat pounds against his chest. TJ exhales shakily into his hair, causing Cyrus to grip him tighter. Neither of them moves for a while, but finally Cyrus pulls back as he has something to say.

“Thank you for telling me. You’re no different, TJ,” Cyrus emphasizes, remembering back to when he first came out to Buffy. “I just can’t believe Kira did that! I’m sorry.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry for putting you through all of this.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I understand now.”

The two of them move closer as if they’re being pulled by magnets. Cyrus has never been this close to TJ before. He can almost count the individual freckles on his face. He sees the flecks of gold sparkling in his green eyes.

“There’s one more thing, though,” TJ stammers. “Another reason why Kira made me so nervous. She also insinuated that not only would I rather do a costume with a boy over a girl, but that I’d rather do a costume with you specifically because I kind of really like you, Underdog.”

A blush tints Cyrus’s face. “I kind of really like you too, Teej.”

He places a hand on the side of TJ’s face, grinning. He grins back. They both lean in at the same time, closing the small distance between them. TJ’s lips are soft and warm and taste like mint chapstick. They kiss only for a second, but it sends tingles racing through Cyrus’s body. When they separate, they accidentally bump noses and giggle.

All the sudden, they hear gasps from nearby. It’s Andi and Buffy, both standing there with wide eyes and slack jaws.

“What the—” Buffy frowns, tilting her head. “I don’t understand.”

Andi agrees, a dazed look on her face. “Me neither.”

Cyrus glances up at TJ, waiting to see his response. To his surprise, he doesn’t look angry or upset. In fact, he appears joyful. Leaning back Cyrus lets him take the lead in this.

TJ starts, “Well, it’s a long story…”

#tyrus #tyrus fanfic #andi mack #cyrus goodman #tj kippen #buffy driscoll #fanfiction #chlarkthe1st

[caemthe-a]

     So I ended up reading Kinsella’s Táin in a day (something I should’ve done first since it’s far more comprehensible than older translations, but I’m didn’t because I’m a dumbass) and here are some details I didn’t pay much attention to when reading other translations until yesterday and also other things because I find them extremely amusing: 

It’s all Conchobar’s fault ngl.

The Táin properly starts on a Monday after Samain’s feast (Oct. 31) and ever since Cú never slept “unless against his spear for an instant after the middle of the day, with head on fist and fist on spear and the spear against his knee” (p.143, yes I put page because I’m annoying like that) until a Wednesday after Imbolc’s feast (Feb. 1), which means that Cú had been fighting the enemy armies without sleeping for MONTHS.

Until Cú was badly wounded so Lugh (aka Cú’s father) appeared to watch over him and heal him while Cú slept. Cú slept for 3 days and 3 nights. (Must’ve been some awkward days for Láeg since he was there too). That also meant that Ulster was defenseless against its enemies but Uster’s boys’ troop (150 young boys who were training to become warriors under Cú’s guidance) fought and they were all slaughtered. But they were no mere children because they managed to kill 3 times their own numbers. Absolute legends. (Actually, it’s very sad once Cú wakes up and is told that the boys’ troop been slaughtered... and then he goes full ríastrad on Medb’s armies)

Lugh is a storm god theory is WHACK and a stretch to try to compare him to another god of Norse mythology. (Alright, this isn’t particular to the Táin, it’s just me being salty about this very specific topic.)

Remember when I said Cú was a morning person? Well, that’s WRONG and I’m stupid. Cú actually hates waking up and no one ever tries to wake him up because, when he was a kid, some dude tried to wake him and baby Cú accidentally punched the dude’s brains out. (Another of baby Cú’s stories includes him hiding under Conchobar’s bed after punching about 50 boys and then you got the entirety of Ulster + King Conchobar + Fergus trying to pull him out). Anyway, back to the Táin.

One of the armies that were allied to Connacht was really efficient and fast and Medb didn’t like that one bit so her solution was to kill them all. Aillil: ‘What a womanly thing to say! We can’t do that!’ Fergus agreed and was the bigger brain then and therefore it was decided that the badass army should be distributed among the other armies.

I actually really like Fergus’ character during the entirety of the book and how he kept making fools of Medb and Aillil the whole time to delay their armies and give some time to Cú to recover and fight back. I’m giving him some rights back because I’m Cú biased.

Right, for at least 3 months, the war was only between the armies of Connacht (+ armies sent from other regions of Ireland... they all pretty much said Fuck them Ulster) against Cú Chulainn (with Láeg and his horses as emotional support). You would think that the armies of thousands of warriors would easily win against one 17yo boy, right? Haha... You would also think that considering Cú’s kill count, this enemy forces would start considering Cú as a serious threat and respect him, right? Absolutely not! Aillil actually has to threaten his troops to stop them from badmouthing Cú (Context: As soon as anyone insulted Cú, Cú would use his slingshot to blow their heads. He’s always watching... and listening!) Also, Cú has to wear a fake beard on TWO different occasions because, otherwise, the warriors wouldn’t fight him. (The best part of this is that the people actually bought the fake beard thing.)

Unless someone’s talking shit about him, Cú can’t aim for shit. (He does things out of spite.) For nearly three months he tries to shoot Medb and Aillil’s heads but he keeps missing each time and hits other targets instead. Sad.

Sometimes Cú likes to lie practically naked on the snow while staring at nothingness and tbh? Mood.

At some point, The Morrígan shows up disguised as a beautiful princess and tries to seduce Cú in a quite forceful manner, to which Cú says hard pass. The Morrigan gets offended and decides to make Cú’s life miserable from then on, to which our best boy says: Bring it on, WENCH! (Jokes aside, in concept, it’s really interesting that the goddess of death, victory, and war falls in love with a hero fated to accomplish greats feats and have his name remembered forever in all of Ireland and to die young.)

Then, The Morrigan transforms into an eel/fish and makes Cú trip when he’s crossing the river to meet the Connacht armies. Apparently, this is THE WORST that could ever happen to Cú because he gets so embarrassed and flustered that he just lies there and tries to hide a little. It’s so bad that he has no will to fight and Láeg has to give him prep talk so that he stands up again. I said Láeg was his emotional support!

And also Cú’s only brain cell! Because when Medb sent a message to Cú to meet her without carrying any weapon, Láeg went ‘Yeah, dude, don’t be stupid, that’s a trap.’ And of course it was a trap! This made Cú kinda annoyed because Medb had tried to deceive him and therefore destroys all the armies that Medb sent to kill him. And upon seeing her warriors getting slaughtered, Medb goes ‘This is so unfair! He’s doing injustice against my people!’ Mmm, I wonder who’s fault that this.

Ferdiad and Cú’s battle is always overwhelming and depressing and there’s gay drama no matter what.

An iconic moment from that battle is when Ferdiad asks his charioteer to look and see if Cú has arrived yet, to which the charioteer says ‘no, Ferdiad, buddy, we arrived like... 3 hours early to your date, what the fuck’. And Ferdiad goes, ‘Look again’ and the charioteer says, ‘Hey, dude, I know your boyfriend is tiny but he’s not THAT tiny’.

The book doesn’t explicitly mention how short is Cú but the people keep comparing him to a little hound, little deer, whelp, calf, little goat, etc.etc. etc. There also was this one time when Cú went ‘hey, hey what the fuck. I went full ríastrad last night. I can’t have people thinking I’m ugly.’ So he puts on his cool clothes and walked between where the Kingdoms of Ireland were gathered and the crowds went WILD. The men were standing there looking at Cú all dumbfounded but the women (their wives) couldn’t see him (like I said, he’s really short) so they got on the men’s shoulders to look at Cú. Medb got curious about what was the ruckus about and got on some dude’s shoulder’s too and looked at Cú and went ‘Hey, what the fuck! He’s a literal baby and you’re telling me that he’s the one who has been humiliating my troops?!’ Medb wasn’t amused.

Btw the reason why Medb and Aillil didn’t grab the brown bull Donn Cualigne and yeeted themselves out of there was because the bull was a powerhouse and no one could actually grab him. He would kill a fuckton of people whenever they tried to grab him so they decided that that was a bad idea.

Anyway, by the end of the Táin, the men of Ulster recovered from the pangs of Macha. (It was a curse that fell upon them for being major assholes. Don’t force pregnant women, who are about to give birth, to participate in chariot races, that’s just bad. Btw Macha, the pregnant woman, won the race.) And so everyone starts talking and making a huge deal of THE GREAT BATTLE and there are these cool and long introductions to the warriors of Ulster, Conchobar is all ‘I just came here to laugh at you’ at Medb and Aillil. And so you get a bunch of warriors come and go from THE GREAT BATTLE, and Cú says, ‘Damn, Laég, you better tell me all about THE GREAT BATTLE’ (Cú can’t participate because he’s still too wounded from his battle with Ferdiad). But they never actually show you THE GREAT BATTLE. Sad.

Also, sadly, there wasn’t nowhere nearly enough content of Conall Cernach and his dog-headed, man-eating, gore-covered, foaming monster horse and I think that’s a damn shame. ucu.

#( liri rants about cu chulainn ) #/ long post #/ im gomen i do these tain rants instead of actually doing replies but... i love... cu chulainn...

[huahsu]

YEAR OF THE GHOST DOG

[TL;DR version for the New Yorker -- I loved many great short songs and became obsessed with (1) a very old, much longer one (2) and YouTube comments this year.]  [links to previous year’s lists at the bottom]

A while back, I found myself in an extended funk. The reasons are uninteresting and honestly a bit dumb, a mix of everyday bummers and more existential stuff, all of which manifested in a kind of 360º sluggishness. I couldn’t really figure my way out of it but I believed that I would eventually stop feeling this way.

One night, I saw that someone online was selling a copy of the Emulations “These Are the Things,” a magnificent soul ballad 7″ out of Oakland. I wasn’t exactly homesick for the Bay Area, but something about the song’s roots, as well as its overwhelming feeling of optimistic yearning, resonated with (through?) me. There’s a moment when the singer’s falsetto peaks, and the piano starts cascading, and things feel like they’re going to work out after all. The copy for sale wasn’t in great shape, and it cost $100, an extravagant amount of money to spend on a piece of music. But I convinced myself that I’d feel better at some point, weeks, months, or years later, and I’d listen to my Emulations single, and recall that weird summer/fall.

As often happened with independently produced records of the sixties and seventies, “These Are the Things” was pressed on styrene, rather than vinyl. Styrene is a kind of plastic that’s lighter, cheaper and much more fragile than vinyl, and you can tell the difference by a kind of hollow plink when you put it on a turntable. Styrene also means that it has a limited life, and that each time the needle drags across its grooves, the record degrades a little bit. Over time, styrene records that get played a lot no longer sound as crisp or clear (or so it seems). I listened to it once it arrived, feeling a bit of regret at this wild expenditure, but also imagining my future self’s gratitude. I imagined entering into communion with everyone who had played this copy before me. I decided to only listen to the song once a year, if that--after all, each time I listened to the record, the song was changing, slightly.

A few months later, I felt normal (whatever that means) again, and the record became a marker of...I’m not sure what--maybe a kind of blind, stubborn optimism. Someone years later uploaded the song onto YouTube, which means I can listen to it whenever I want. This fall, I was trying and failing to spend less time on the Internet. But I decided that, instead of going on Twitter and Facebook, I would just read comments fans left on YouTube. I became obsessed with reading all the intimate histories people shared with one another--the chance encounters, the teenage dates and breakups, the seventies shop owners who recalled the days when stocking the right hit single could cover an entire month’s rent. I was listening to the Emulations when I noticed this comment, from Deric Jackson, who was apparently one of the group’s members: “I sung this song when I was 19yrs old. It was a pleasure to record and send this messageout into the airways. I have been with the women that God had given me to marry when I was 22yrs old. I did not understand at that time I was singing about my own life and the women who I had not met, but how wonderful it is to be with my wife fo 35yrs and life is still a breath of fresh air and wonderful. I would like to say to all real men love your wife, never worship her only one to worship is God alone.“ I’m pretty agnostic about most things relating to providence. But I felt as though I had been living in these words: “I did not understand at that time...” Jackson’s song was a prophecy, maybe even a conjuring, of his own path, and I wonder what he hears when he listens to it now. Sometimes you don’t know what’s coming next. But there’s always another song, and it doesn’t always sound the same as the last time.

(LATE 2017 BUT I REALLY DOUBT ANYONE NOTICED AKA THE FRENCH “MO BAMBA”) Junior Bvndo, “T’as ça #3 (Kylian Mbappe)”

I WILL LISTEN TO ANYTHING THAT USES DISTORTION Sheck Wes, “Wanted” OR OLD SCHOOL STABS Santi feat. Shane Eagle and Amaarae, “Rapid Fire” EVEN MORE THAN THAT, I LIKE THINGS THAT SOUND MESSY AND SLOPPY BUT ARE ACTUALLY PERFECT Caleb Giles featuring Cleo Reed, “Name” WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN AS GOOD AS IF IT HAD BEEN PERFECT, THE WARPED AND SMUDGED BEAUTY IS WHAT MAKES IT BEAUTIFUL Tirzah, Devotion Niagara, Apologia SAME, BUT SLIGHTLY OFF-STEP Blood Orange, “Charcoal Baby” THE BEST GENRE OF MUSIC REMAINS “SADE” Sade, “Flower of the Universe” and “The Big Unknown” Amber Mark, “Love is Stronger Than Pride” Bon Iver and Moses Sumney, “By Your Side” Kelela, “Like a Tattoo” 808s AND HEARTBREAK AND NEAR-OCTOGENERIANS Swamp Dogg, “She’s All Mind All Mind” I WASN’T AS ENAMORED WITH A LOT OF “NEW JAZZ” BUT DID LIKE Sam Wilkes, Wilkes Sam Gendel and Sam Wilkes, Music for Saxofone & Bass Guitar …WHICH REMINDED ME A BIT OF THIS FACEMELTING REISSUE (RIYL: ALICE COLTRANE, DON CHERRY, ETC ETC) John Tchicai, With Strings SPEAKING OF TERRIFIC JAZZ-ADJACENT STUFF Dos Santos, “Manos Anjenas” THE ORIGINAL “BIG MOOD” Okonkolo, Cantos THE YEAR I REALLY REKINDLED MY LOVE OF THE CELLO Clarice Jensen, For This From That Will Be Filled Oliver Coates, “A Church” …WHICH I DEFINITELY PREFER TO VIOLIN--ESP PIZZICATO--THOUGH THIS WAS QUITE GOOD Sudan Archives, “Nont for Sale” HARPS ALWAYS SOUND GOOD Leya, The Fool Meg Baird and Mary Lattimore, Ghost Forests ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR WOODBLOCKS AND VIBES Kate NV, для FOR AS WELL AS MIAMI BASS SIGNIFIERS (KICKSTARTER FOR CITY GIRLS TO RAP OVER DJ BATTLECAT IN 2019) City Girls, “Act Up” AND BANJO DRONE...WHY NOT Nathan Bowles, Plainly Mistaken ALBUMS THAT I LIKED IN 2018, AND THAT I SENSE I WILL LIKE EVEN MORE BY THIS TIME NEXT YEAR Ben LaMarr Gay, Downtown Castles Can Never Block the Sun Neneh Cherry, Broken Politics AN ALBUM THAT I WISH WAS TEN ALBUMS Tierra Whack, Whack World AN ALBUM I WISH WAS JUST A LITTLE BIT LONGER Pusha-T, Daytona OF THE MANY REASONS I MOURN THE DEATH OF “THE ALBUM,” ONE IS THAT I ALWAYS LIKE TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE DO WITH THAT LAST SONG YG, “Bomptown Finest” OR HOW ALBUMS, FULL OF SIGNS, ANGLES, FLEETING MOMENTS, CIRCULATE AND RE-CIRCULATE Angelique Kidjo, Remain in Light AND HOW THEY ARE LIKE WHAT NOVELS REPRESENTED IN THE AGE OF POETRY—OPPORTUNITIES TO LIVE INSIDE COMPLEXITY, SPACE, A DEMOS U.S. Girls, In a Poem Unlimited ONE OF THE BEST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR WAS A SOUNDTRACK... Kendrick Lamar et al, Black Panther AND TEASER FOR  Jay Rock, Redemption AND ANOTHER WAS JUST SOME RAP SONGS Earl Sweatshirt, Some Rap Songs WHICH ISN’T TO SAY ARTISTS DON’T STILL VALUE AND HAVE FUN WITH THE FORMAT Vince Staples, FM A TWENTY-FIVE TRACK ADVENTURE INTO VIBES Pink Siifu, ensley AND SOMETIMES TWENTY MINUTES OR SO IS ENOUGH boygenius, boygenius ONE MORE ALBUM THING – FIRST SONGS HAVE ALWAYS FELT LIKE THESIS STATEMENTS, AND STREAMING HAS ONLY APPLIED MORE PRESSURE TO THE SOOTHING, BEWITCHING, PERFECT WELCOME Mac Miller, “Come Back to Earth” MAC MILLER AND THUNDERCAT LOOK SO HAPPY HERE whole thing, but esp six minutes in, and even more so about nine minutes in THE BEST VIBES Show Dem Camp feat. Boj and Ajebutter 22, “Damiloun” Koffee, “Toast” HAPPY-GO-LUCKY B/W DEVIL-MAY-CARE Shoreline Mafia, “Nun Major” I LIKE NEF AND EPs PERFECTLY SUIT HIM Nef the Pharaoh and 03 Greedo, Porter 2 Grape 

RAPPING AS FAST AS YOU CAN OVER FREESTYLE/HI-NRG WILL NEVER SOUND BAD TO ME… SOB X RBE, “Paid in Full” SOB X RBE, “Carpoolin’” …ALTHOUGH THEY ALSO SOUND SICK OVER FAKE GHOST DOG BEATS, TOO, THIS WAS ONE OF MY SONGS OF THE YEAR SOB X RBE, “Paramedic!” SAME WITH MEDHANE Medhane, “The Garden” TRIPPIE REDD PUTS OUT A LOT OF MUSIC FILLED WITH TRANSCENDENT MOMENTS, BUT RARELY MAKES TRANSCENDENT SONGS, AND IT PAINS ME A BIT THAT MY FAVORITE SONG OF HIS THIS YEAR WAS Diplo featuring Trippie Redd, “Wish” TRIPPY-ASS DOO-WOP Cuco, “Sunnyside” A STRONG HARMONY IS A VISION OF WHAT LIFE COULD BE Ben Pirani, “How Do I Talk to My Brother?” WHERE WERE U IN 94 Young Echo, Young Echo SWEAR I'VE NEVER HEARD MUSIC THIS “GREY” ManOnMars, ManOnMars IF YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE A FAKE D’ANGELO SONG, IT SHOULD BE THIS GOOD Patrick Paige III, “Voodoo” LIKED THIS, BUT IT’S ALSO POSSIBLE TO BE A BIT TOO FAITHFUL TO THE PAST Teyana Taylor, “Hold On” NOT QUITE FAYE WONG DOING THE CRANBERRIES (RIP DOLORES O’RIORDAN) BUT STILL MEMORABLE Katherine Ho, “Yellow” LIKE THE BEST PARTS OF FEELS-ERA ANIMAL COLLECTIVE, BUT TAIWANESE Prairie WWWW

NEVER THOUGHT TO VISIT THE LOUVRE UNTIL The Carters, “Apeshit” video BROWN EXCELLENCE Humeysha, Departures "BROWN BEATS” FOREVER RIP Cameron Paul

MY FAVORITE DISCOVERY OF THE YEAR Pharoah Sanders playing “Kazuko” in a tunnel near the Marin Headlands LIKE NONE OF ITS INFLUENCES (FOOTWORK, AMBIENT), LIKE NOTHING ELSE OUT THERE, REALLY Foodman, Aru Otoko No Densetsu DARESAY SKI MASK WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BOOED OUT OF THE CIPHER Ski Mask the Slump God, Beware the Book of Eli THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON I’VE SEEN ON THE BIG SCREEN AT THE PAST THREE YEARS’ NETS GAMES IS Young M.A., “PettyWap” DEMOS FROM A GROUP I HAVE ALWAYS ADORED, BEFORE THEY FOUND THE SOUND THAT I ADORE The Nonce, 1990 EXTREMELY GOOD AND LARGELY OVERLOOKED REISSUE Suzanne Menzel, Goodbyes and Beginnings FOUR TET IS GOING THROUGH HIS LIVE ARCHIVES, AND IT’S A TREAT TO STUDY HIS ARC/EVOLUTION  Live at Hultsfred Festival, 18th June 2004 Live at LPR New York, 17th February 2010 Live in Tokyo, 1st December 2013 Live at Funkhaus Berlin, 10th May 2018 STRANGE TO LIVE IN A MOMENT WHERE BEING WEIRD SEEMS A BIT DERIVATIVE. STILL, THIS IS BLISSFUL SahBabii, “Anime World” HAPPY FACE Smino, “Klink” SAD FACE Drake, “In My Feelings” (especially this version) “JIM FROM THE OFFICE” FACE Pusha-T, “The Story of Adidon” STOLE YOUR FACE Sophie, “Faceshopping” FACE/OFF YG and Mozzy, “Too Brazy” Sammy Bananas feat Antony and Cleopatra, “Slow Down” Kode 9 and Burial, Fabriclive 100 GASSED FACE E-40 and B-Legit, “Whooped" ABSOLUTELY FACEMELTING Todd Barton and Ursula K. Le Guin, Music and Poetry of the Kesh VACATION AWAY MESSAGE SiR, “D’Evils” Bad Bunny x PJ Sin Suela x Nejo, “Cual Es Tu Plan” BEST OPENING DISCLAIMER TO A VIDEO 808INK, “Come Down” “TAGS: LATIN CHORAL CUMBIA GOTH LOS ANGELES” San Cha, “Cosmic Ways”

BEST USE OF “OOCHIE WALLY,” STILL ONE OF MY FAVORITE BEATS EVER Stefflon Don, “Oochie Wally freestyle” BEST USE OF “SUPERTHUG” Rico Nasty, “Countin’ Up” EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS--THE HEADBANG MINIMALISM, THE LAS VEGAS WALGREENS--BUT ESPECIALLY THE LINE ABOUT WELLS FARGO Rico Nasty, “Trust Issues” “ORGASM ADDICT” (RIP PETE SHELLEY) Victor Oladipo, “One Day” “I JUST TOOK A FLIGHT TO FRANCE TO COP CARDIGANS” Black Thought and Styles P, “Making a Murderer” “AT THE EMIRATES I MILLY ROCK” Manzo and Malachi Amour, “Lingard” DOPE TUNE, AND UNEXPECTED KELLYANNE CONWAY REFERENCE JPEGMAFIA, “1539 N. Calvert” YEAH YEAH YEAH (RIP MARK E SMITH) Travis Scott and Drake, “Sicko Mode” R-E-S-P-E-C-T (RIP ARETHA FRANKLIN) Rosalia, El Mal Querer REEL DEAL, “DRIPPIN’ DOPE (SAXAPELLA)” (1989) Gunna, “Top Off” WAMP WAMP (WHAT IT DO) B/W WAIT (THE WHISPER SONG) Vallee feat. Jeremih, “Womp Womp” SAD REGGAETON IS NOT BAD Bad Bunny, “Solo De Mi” SOUNDS GOOD TO ME, 2002-PRESENT Temani, “Power” Westerman, “Confirmation” REAL LIES, POET LAUREATS OF “YOUNG PEOPLE THINKING ABOUT BEING OLD” Tom Demac and Real Lies, “White Flowers” A SONG DESIGNED TO SOUND LIKE IT CAME OUT THIRTY YEARS AGO, WHICH ALSO FEELS LIKE IT CAME OUT A MILLION YEARS AGO (IT WAS JUST JANUARY) Bruno Mars feat. Cardi B, “Finesse (remix)” TAY-K WAS JUST A YEAR AGO Comethazine, “Highriser” FAVORITE 2 BRIDGES MUSIC ARTS “MIGHT AS WELL” RANDOM PURCHASE OF THE YEAR  Kizaki Ondo Preservation Society and Clark Naito, 木崎音頭 Kizaki Ondo FEELS LIKE IT CAME OUT TEN YEARS AGO (IT WAS JUST JAN/FEB) BUT I NEVER GREW TIRED OF IT Rich the Kid, “Plug Walk” ODDLY REASSURING THAT PEOPLE STILL JANGLE Massage, “Oh Boy” Earth Dad, “Walter” ...AND DISCOVER WORLDS FROM WITHIN THEIR BEDROOMS Soccer Mommy, Clean ...AND EXPLORE THE CONTOURS OF GROWLING AND NAGGING Sada Baby and Drego, “Bloxk Party” ...AND CAN USE THE PAST TO MAKE SOMETHING SO VISIONARY AND FORWARD-THINKING Virginia Wing, Ecstatic Arrow Mitski, Be A Cowboy ...AND LOOKING FOR FOURTH WORLDS Arp, Zebra ...AND MAKE IMPOSSIBLE RHYTHMS Heavee, WFM ...AND THAT ARTISTS I HAD NEVER HEARD OF, WORKING IN IDIOMS I HAD NEVER HEARD OF, MIGHT STILL BLOW MY MIND Odunsi (the Engine), rare. JUNGLE LIVES X-Altera, “Blowing Up the Workshop” mix TOP THREE TIMES I SAW STANDING ON THE CORNER THIS YEAR 3 - The Merciful Allah Black Hole Theatre 2 - The Time it All Ended with Fireworks on Grand St. 1 - An Empty Storefront During a Blizzard

{HONORABLE MENTIONS -The Time They Brought a Monolith -THEME DE YE-YO [Respect to the Gods]} SONG OF THE SPRING, SUMMER, WINTER, YEAR,  STILL UNDEFEATED ### A CHURCH AND JOHN LENNON’S “IMAGINE” :: 2017 SIKH DEVOTIONAL MUSIC :: 2016 SPOOKY BLACK :: 2015

[actionjaxkol]

Crystal #?? - Interview with Jaxkol

“Alright, Interview... whatever number this is. Trixie Spinwhistle with the Gift of Gob --”

“Wait -- wait so how does this work?”

“I ask you questions and you answer ‘em, babe. S’not rocket surgery.”

“Oh. So what is --”

“Don’t hurt yourself, kid, save the brainpower for the answers.”

BASICS

► Name ➔   “Jaxkol Dawnsedge. Previously Shadowriot. Previously-Previously Shadowfel” ► Are you single ➔ “Nope! Some beautiful weirdo had a terrible lapse in judgement that I am not letting them weasel out of.” ► Are you happy ➔   “I actually don’t remember being this happy before. It’s... nice.” ► Are you angry ➔  “Weirdly, I get angry easier than I used to. Only when people are treating others unfairly though.” ► Are your parents still married ➔   “As far as I know. They’re Nobles, ‘divorce’ isn’t a thing they do. I think my mom has a consort though.”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Silvermoon City” ► Hair Color ➔ “White blond naturally, the illusion makes it grey-black.” ► Eye Color ➔ “Green naturally, blue with illusion. Sometimes I wonder what color they’d be if they didn’t glow. I’m kinda jealous of humans and dwarves and stuff, their eyes can be all different colors.” “Focus, kid.” ► Birthday ➔ “May nineteenth.” ► Mood ➔ “Restless, anxious, eager but shy. Lonely, but the temporary type. At odds with myself” ► Gender ➔ “I’m a guy, but I’m also an elf and on the small side, so I get mistaken for a girl like, once an month. Not as much in Stormwind though, but it’s happened. It’s amusing.” ► Summer or winter ➔ “I dunno. Living on the streets, both suck, but it was easier to cool down than it was to warm up when you’re skinny. I have a home now, so I’m curious to see what winters are like. ...and now I’m thinking of Pryn as a snow bunny. Yeah I definitely want to see Winter.” ► Morning or afternoon ➔ “Afternoons. That’s when everyone is starting to wind down and relax. But lately I’ve had to get up super early for Argent training and watching the sun rise over the harbor is just... spiritual or somethin’.”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “I keep... trying to tell myself ‘no’, that I’m being stupid but... yes. I absolutely am.” ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “So, it kinda works opposite for me. If I fancy someone right off the bat, it’s gonna end bad. If my first thought is like ‘who the fuck do you think you are?’ then we’ll probably be friends forever. Or mortal enemies. Like, Noah and I fought when we first met, but we were friends until.... Anyhow. Jiang and I hit it off immediately, but fucker was married. I hated Vyn when we first met, but... I trust him with my life now, he’s my brother. Totegar I was smitten with from the start and he.. Yeah. Let’s not talk about him. I didn’t know what to make of Pryn at first, I thought she was my exact opposite and that we’d be at odds but she’s my best friend. Oh shit, and Izzy! I was fucking scared shitless of him when we met and now he’s my baby brother!” “Yes or no would’a sufficed, kid.” ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “Totegar was afraid to come to terms with being gay, so he kinda settled for me. I was safe and harmless and non-threatening. When he figured out that sleeping with another guy wouldn’t bring about the next Cataclysm, he dropped me like a bad habit and went after someone better. Like. The very next morning. ...It’s whatever.” ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔  “I wanna say ‘no’ but, I mean, maybe? I know I really hurt Jiang’s wife, Yue, when I told her but... I didn’t know so I couldn’t stop it. I might have broken Red’s heart by telling him no. Over and over and over again. And probably a few more times to come...” ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “I’m not afraid to throw myself body and (what’s left of my) soul into things, but I’m terrified that I’m going to let people down...” ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yeah! I used to be really afraid of contact, anytime anyone touched me it was ya know. Never for good stuff. Vyn started making a point to hug and touch me just in a friendly way. And then I get to the Keg and people aren’t afraid to hug me and it’s.. Nice.” “Man, you are a talker...” “Sorry...” “Nah, this is good.” ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “I don’t... think so? I’m just amazed I have not-secret admirers.” ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Yeah... a lot. Like... daily. Wait is that not normal?” “...No, kid.”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Love. I mean, I think you need some lust in a relationship, but you need that love first. Otherwise it’s just... meaningless.” ► Cats or Dogs ➔ “So my sister Jaelys used to have a cat, and she loved that damn thing. In Silvermoon, cats are everywhere, right? But this one used to like, ride on her shoulder and sleep in her lap while she studied. She even got it this pretty collar and like... we didn’t have spending money so I don’t know how she got it. Anyhow, my brother I guess didn’t like it as much, cuz when he was rising into the Fel arts, he used the cat for a ritual. I’ve never seen my sister cry, but... I did see something die in her eyes when he brought her the little body...” “...Kid?” “...Hmm? Oh! ...Dogs. I like dogs.” ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “I get... really attached to people fast. Like, if I’m going to get close to someone at all, I’m in for everything. So... probably a few best friends. But I’m friends with everyone until they give me a reason not to be! Hey, like a dog I guess!” ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “It’s hard to say. I really like going out and getting that energy out, but being alone with someone special, just... watching them do those little, meaningless, private things that make up their secret world... It’s so beautiful I never want to leave it.” ► Day or night ➔ “Day is hot and involves a lot of running. Night.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “Growing up it never crossed my mind to disobey. If had to leave the apartment for any reason, I got permission from either Mother, or Father or failing that one of my two eldest siblings. Jaelys and I always had to have escorts. When I was living with Vyn for a while, I’d sneak out if... my brain started eating itself, I guess. He always found me though. So. Yes?” ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Yeah my feet and I don’t always communicate correctly. I’ve tripped over my own shadow.” ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Yes... But it’s this weird, beautiful pain. I like being close to her because when she’s not there, I can’t believe that I have someone so amazing in my life. If I told her that she’s just call me stupid and whack me with her tail though.” ► Wanted to disappear ➔ “...yes... I have disappeared a few times. I can’t... seem to make it stick though. I guess for the best.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “I like a smile that takes up the entire face. I mean the kind that makes the eyes bright like the stars. I like it when the mouth and the eyes agree with eachother. Izzy has an amazing smile that just lights up everything. Vyn’s is strong, protective, kinda like Ash’s. Jiira’s has secrets. Pryn’s has light that like... changes colors. Vali’s is hard and cold, but there’s fire beneath it. Drex’s is mischief. Kae is fire, white hot or smouldering embers, rarely anything in between. Aida... Aida is made of chocolate and cheesecake and -- oh shit chocolate cheesecake that’s a great idea.” “What about mine?” “...Sharp. Your smile is a blade and your eyes cut through people...” ► Shorter or Taller ➔ “I got a thing for people bigger than me. Which I guess isn’t hard.” ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔  “Humor. I’m not smart, so everyone is more intelligent than me. And I don’t.. really get attracted to people’s outside the same way other people do I guess. I don’t go ‘DAMN that dude has a nice ass, I must pursue him’ it’s more like... ‘your personality is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, I need to see every angle of it, good or bad’. Fuck, I would probably fall for a blighted murlock if we got along well enough.” ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “I’ve done the hookup thing, it doesn’t... it just... makes that void worse. Like drinking saltwater.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “No.” “...what that’s it? Kid you’ve rambled on ‘cat versus dog’ and that’s all I get?” “I... failed. I’ll pay for it when my luck runs out, but.. No. Three sisters, two brothers, and my parents - no we don’t get along.” ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “I really don’t think so, but I’ve been told otherwise. I think everyone goes through their awful shit, just cuz mine is more colorfully explosive, doesn’t mean it’s any more messed up than anyone elses’.” ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Not before the Incident, and after that, I didn’t exactly have a home to run away from. I ran away from Vyn when I was supposed to be staying with him and got overwhelmed, but I don’t think that’s the same thing.” ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Yeah.” “...is that all you’re gonna say on that?” “Yeah.”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “What?? No that’s fucked up. We might not get along, but I don’t hate anyone.” ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “I mean, some are better or closer than others, but I think everyone is exactly how they need to be.” ► Who is your best friend ➔ “Ah shit, hard question. I don’t have just one ‘best’ friend, they’re all amazing in their own ways. Sera is pretty awesome, I love Izzy. Kae is amazing and strong and I envy her. Pryn knows me probably better than Vyn at this point. Aida is adorable...I can’t... really answer this. Though now I’m curious if I’m anyone’s best friend.” ► Who knows everything about you ➔ “Pryn or Vynlluthein.”

(Art by @attractive-zombies Big ole stack of art here. )

Tagging: @attractive-zombies @wests-wow-gang @rouilleandcompany @lemmeaxeyousomething

#jax crystal #i just can't do anything easy can i #wra rp #warcraft rp #people to follow

[yerabearmum]

Finally got around to watching season 7 and HOOOO BOY do I have a lot to say

“he’s the youngest pilot ever to lead a mission into space” I think you forgot to mention ‘professional gay disaster’

Shiro looking at Keith, who is staring morosely out the window: he so obviously needs a hug but he would also glare a hole through my face if I come within ten feet of him how can I show this child love

DO YOU SEE LANCE'S LITTLE SWOOPY HAIRCUT

why is Little Lance’s voice deeper than Big Lance’s

“the emo kid’s doing it!” of course he is what more would you expect from the kid who never talks and openly but silently hates your guts

how does this twelve-year-old know how to drive in the first place

Kieth:*steals a car*

Me: PROTECT HIM

shiro doesn’t even look upset he’s just concerned and impressed

lance is so done with science in general

hello my name is takashi shirogane and welcome to my ted talk

Romelle’s hand gestures fill my soul with warmth

Coran is literally just Space Steve Irwin

Coran’s intimidation methods are #fierce

if that’s seriously how you used to wrangle yelmores then is it really any wonder why Alfor is dead

“like you, lance” an hour of adoring silence for this sibling relationship

how much you wanna bet Shiro is aware of everything around him and his only thought is “listen baby bro I already came back from death once why do you fear that I can’t do it again”

Keith yawns like a gay queen

I aspire the be the same level of zen as the recorder guy in the background

just remember that keith was and still is just as much of a showoff as Lance

Hunk’s expression when James says the only reason Keith is there is Shiro ‘james srsly are you trying to die”

“is that what mommy and daddy told you before-” MY MOMMA NEVER TOLD ME SHIT

there is exactly -.0002% chance of me ever getting over the gorgeous indigo color of Keith’s eyes they’re like tiny emo galaxies

consider: Homelle is such a wholesome hufflepuff ship

Lance Saves All Our Asses Again and It Goes Completely Unmentioned Afterwards Again: a novel by nobody because Lance gets as much recognition as a piece of bra lint

Pidgeot shaking a water drop off her head like a tiny woodland nerd sprite is my new reason for existing

my smol children just got smoler

Shiro looks like some kind of Gaydiana Jones on that hover thing

it’s probably just the anime eyes but it seriously looks like Little Keith is wearing eyeliner

shiro zooming off the cliff is like me trying outrun the overwhelming weight of existence

bby keith in the sunset is Hiro Hamada minus the tooth gap and personal healt- oh no wait that would be Shiro. shiro is baymax. floofy boi= marshmallow bun. WHERE DO THE CONSPIRACIES END.

honey you’re like twenty-two and a very bad liar

Admiral Sonda is just Sam Holt as a woman

literally the gayest gay breakup they could get away with. I applaud you

how dare they use the most underappreciated character as literal bait 

ah, i see rescuers down under made an appearance in the timespace of a single frame

why do the yelmores sound like Chewie

the phonotonium bubbles are bringin back memories of the Newtcase scene

that moment when you realize what he means by “you can’t do this to me again” and you feel your will to live crumble into Satan’s coffee grounds

the way that Lance says “ready to charge up the lions?” reminds me so much of that time in Eureka when Zane was like “ready to smash some unstable atoms together at the speed of light?” 

I can’t remember a single time that Lance looked happier or more excited about life in general that he does in the intro and... oh, look, there goes my heart. falling to the floor. shattering on the concrete. again. look at it go.

Coran honey they are standing right next to each other does it look like Cosmo is eating her

road trip humor

darling child do you honestly believe that this lion is going to let some random-ass person sit down and drive it

HE'S LONELYYYYYY

What the everloving fuck is wrong with the Altean alphabet

Hunk's selfies are so precious

"No. Nope. Nuh-uh. No way. Can't do this." BIG MOOD OKAY

ALLURA HAS FUCKING SUPER STRENGTH

yes thank you for that recap Lance we had not yet noticed the difficulty of our situation

"super dangerous it's perfect" yeah me too hon me too

will the little PEW PEW sounds ever cease to amuse me? the answer is no

Kosmo+Krolia is the ultimate kickass mom team

WAIT WHAT I THOUGHT THE PROBLEM WAS THAT THE JAWS WOULDN’T OPEN

guys come on have a little faith in him

I, too, sometimes narrate my life inside my head

Kosmo: oh I’m sorry I’ve been a wee bit BUSY DYING

so apparently Kaltinecker is just a generic name for space cows? I don’t like this

“who are you?” *Mushu voice, unfurls wings* “your worst nightmare”

Axca is just “whoop I kicked your ass mY bAd”

“Indeed I was, but now I am your savior.”

why is Ezor so lovable

“we’re going to have to use a more extreme approach” *pulls out silly string threateningly* “start talking”

Hunk looks so offended when they’re picking who to torture

Ezor would be perfect for one of those Garnier Fructis commercials where they pick stuff up with their hair

Can we talk about Lance and Pidge's sibling relationship? I think as much as they complain, they both really miss having that close kind of relationship. Pidge has Matt, of course, but he's not exactly open to talk anytime they want. This leaves Pidge and Lance to fall back on each other. Lance grew up in a big family, and probably also a very tight-knit one. So whether he realizes it or not, he depends on those kinds of connections, with stupid little arguments and support. I think that sibling connection is the one thing that really keeps them grounded when nothing else can.

Oh! And the other thing: This first occurred to me during the "DON'T YOU TOUCH HER" scene, because Lance is the first one to react protectively. Sure, the other's are protective of Pidge, but it's different for Lance because he reacts in such a 'big brother' sort of way. Again, Lance comes from a really big family, so playing the big brother role is second nature to him, and I love that it's such a huge part of his character to be protective.

*S&M plays every time Axca is onscreen*

Coran doing the Office Look

Coran: the lions are weak, we’ll end up right back here

Axca: then perish

I think the guard is already overwhelmed enough, what with having his quiznack handed to him by a couple of mice

Takashi honey does he look okay

why does Zethrid just sound like a guy trying and failing to do a girly voice

so apparently Axca has a type and that type is guys with ‘flippity hair’

Pidge’s smolness is a weapon in and of itself

when did Lance become the right-hand man I like this arrangement

“Can we just fight?” is the pg equivalent of “I’M GAY BITCH”

Ezor’s... head thing makes her look like Space Rapunzel

she was *Star Wars voice* seduced by the dark side of the force

do they seriously expect us to believe that there’s just an alien named Bob

‘intergalactic goofballs” is the most accurate description yet

“c’mere keith” WIVEL WIVEL WHIRL

“I... uhhh” is the most artist thing I have ever heard

do the creators just stuff cookies in their mouths and say random stuff to come up with alien words

WHY DIDN’T THEY GUESS KOSMO IS LOOKS MORE LIKE KOSMO THAN A LION

princess Lance is playing this game the right way don’t you yell at him

Keith’s voice when he says “windy cave?”

”the dumb one” bitch you’re the one who’s dead so who’s really the dumb one here

Bob please stop hurting my son his self-esteem is already fragile enough

Is he beautiful? Absolutely. Is he dumb? ABSOLUTELY NOT STOP HURTING HIM

One of these days Lance will straight up dab and on that day I will die of joy

Allura is literally picking up Hunk and I love it

now Allura’s asking the really big questions. I mean, what are any of us doing here. We’re just specks of dirt floating on the vast tissue of time

Pidge is trying so hard to look like she couldn’t care less and I’ve never related to anything more

She looks so smug whacking the camera

KEITH HAS OFFICIALLY ADOPTED SHIRO’S PROUD SPACE DAD FACE

Lance’s face when he’s talking about his little crush on Keith

CAN YOU TWO GET ANY GAYER

I just want Coran to get to earth and be Dumbledore in a play

I like the end music it’s so dancey and disco but not cringy

In the course of two seconds Coran goes from the Lorax to a ginger version of the guy from Ratatouille

KoSmO ThE dElIvErY wOlF

was that for real an alien dick joke

I like how both my gay sons have marks on their faces. Shiro has a scar, Keith has a Galra mark. What’s next? Lance with airbender tattoos? I hope not.

that is legit just a watermelon with tusks

oh Merlin no that’s even worse please go back to the watermelon

zippity zap your neck goes snap

don’t you love it when female characters literally glow with power? because I do

that was such an Avengers moment

Chat Noir would be proud of you, Hunk

Shiro is a savage

THE FACT THAT KEITH THOUGHT HE HAD TO EXPLAIN WHAT FLIGHT FORMATION EXERCISES ARE

the paladins adopting ‘quiznack’ into their casual cussing vocabulary is what I live for

if “something will come to kill us any minute now” is a good thing, you have severely low standards

oh yes lovely they’re having group hallucinations of space bats

OHHHHHHHHHHH YES BRING ON THE QUESTIONING OF EXISTENCE I NEED THIS ANGST

Hunk stubbornly refusing to sound off is so relatable like my stubbornness also drives all those around me slowly insane

HUNK IS LITERALLY SHOOTING A GIANT RAY OF SUNSHINE BECAUSE HE IS ACTUALLY A GIANT RAY OF SUNSHINE

Hunk being shocked by being shown any form of value and appreciation crushes my heart this boy needs to be loved

that enthusiastic “YEAH!” is what sleep deprived happiness sounds like

I like to imagine the voice actors practicing dramatic anime screaming while they drive to work and now I can’t breathe cuz I’m laughing too hard

WAIT WHAT I THOUGHT THE ENTIRE PROBLEM HERE WAS THAT THE LIONS WEREN’T CHARGED ENOUGH TO FORM VOLTRON

Keith and Lance’s bayards make giant magic wings that’s some serious soulmate shit right there

really you’re not gonna shoot it first to check if it’s real? after that whole space monster thing? you’re just gonna zoom toward it? hon c’mon

and of course the creators had to ask themselves “How can we best ruin this moment of joy? THE GALRA INVASION”

Colleen Holt is a force of nature and the living embodiment of “don’t fuck with me I’ve got the power of God and anime on my side”

Iverson: here’s what we know

Me: YOU FOOL YOU KNOW NOTHING

Sammy’s not having none of your shit so shut it before he tapes it

DO YOU SEE COLLEEN’S FACE I DON’T WANT LIFE ANYMORE

oh jeez they’re lined up by height that’s adorable

I like how this clearly takes place in a fairly distant future, but robots aren’t doing everything like people seem to think they would. The evident majority of labor is still done by people, like engineers and flight directors.

BITCH IT’LL BE YOUR WAR WHEN THE GALRA ARE ON YOUR DOORSTEP DO YOU REALLY WANNA WAIT UNITL THEN 

I’VE ONLY HAD COLLEEN FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HER THIS SHOW WOULD BE DEAD TO ME

If they’d shown Keith’s recording it would’ve been like “Hey, it’s me. *with Kosmo sprawled across his lap, panting loudly. Lance is snickering quietly behind the camera* I don’t exactly, uh... have family on earth. But I’m Keith, the Garrison’s number one discipline problem. I wear the title proudly, but I still just wanted to... apologize, kind of, to pretty much every authority figure at the Garrison for making your life living hell. Yeah.”

“but everything changed when the Galra invaded”

does Kinkade ever speak? I kinda want him to be mute. A disabled fighter pilot would be the coolest thing

Veronica is such a badass 

aw man he spoke 

I can’t wait for when Krolia comes back to earth everyone’s gonna be like “oh fUCK A GALRA SHOOT IT DOWN” and then Keith walks out with his arms up like “HOLD IT THEY’RE WITH US” *Krolia steps out* “everybody say hi to my mom”

“Don’t miss” oh yeah I just thought I’d let them go this would be a great way to let Sandac know we’re here

THE SMALLEST PIDGEOT

oh my Merlin they have a dog

oh what a soft moment

what was with that dramatic look between Keith and Griffin? I mean I know this is Keith we’re talking about but there’s no way they held a grudge that long over a disagreement when they were... what? Eleven?

Allura is rocking that Garrison uniform

“Allura, you’re a genius!” yeah sweetie I know

OH MY MERLIN MY TWO ANGELS ARE HUGGING DO YOU SEE KEITH’S FACE

that’s going to electrocute him 

HOLY QUIZNACK SHE HAD A BALMERA CRYSTAL ON HER FOREHEAD THE WHOLE TIME

 Shiro’s hair floof looks less like a bird now and more like a dead bush

WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS ALLURALANCE COMING FROM THE STARS GAVE NO WARNING OF THIS I DO NOT ACCEPT

Veronica is officially one of my faves

Kaltinecker is just like “oh this is happening now”

SMUSH

I still can’t believe they got the particle barrier up in the first place

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE OF THE FACT THAT LANCE IS THE FIRST PERSON KEITH CALLS FOR

ohhhh look it’s launching somethings going good- wait never mind  WHY ALWAYS THIS

Leifstoder is adorable

CAN YOU ANIMATE SOMETHING ELSE 

Griffin has the voice of an angel

Shiro’s floating arm kind of ruins the dramatic hero effect of the doors opening into the light of battle

should the beams from the zyphorge canons be that pretty

I know Sendac is an ass and he deserves to die but I have to admire his dedication

NOW I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEFALLIN

my major problem here is that, a) how is Shiro alive? he has no helmet, no oxygen tank. all the air should be sucked right out of his lungs. He should be dead, and b) NO HUMAN BEING CAN JUST BARREL THROUGH EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE UNPROTECTED LIKE THAT THE THERMOSPHERE IS LIKE 5OO KELVIN SHIRO SHOULD BE A CHARRED PILE OF BONES

we will remember this as the Battle of the Floating Arms

“Victory or de-” *Keith, falling fiercely from the sky* DEATH

aaaaaaaaaand the victory is short-lived

oh I missed this when is the last time they dedicated an entire episode to just fighting a giant-ass robot

KAWAII ANIME PLANCE

so what is this now? Dark matter? Dark quintessence?

Coran: but Voltron!

Shiro: bitch we are voltron

SoMeBoDy’S gOnNa DiEeE

is there anything I hate more than watching my children accept that they are about to die? My burning hatred for Severus Snape comes very close but no there is not

MATT HAS... I DUNNO WHAT IS THAT? A BOYFRIEND? A GIRLFRIEND? HE’S HOLDING SOMEBODY’S HAND AND HE LOOKS FABULOUS 

how much you wanna bet that when Haggar disappeared she took over Lotor’s little Altean colony and now she’s using them for the robots

#voltron #s7 #reactions #it gets angstier every season #i forgot i made a list of my reactions #and then naturally when i found it again my first thought was #oh yah my three followers would love this #jk i actually have like fifteen followers #this has been fun #its been long and painful #but its been fun #because thats how logic works #right #kitty speaks

[help-from-above]

MEET THE MUSE.

RULES: don’t reblog, repost. TAGGED BY:  stolen. TAGGING:  @ryanthevagabondhaywood @iamfriendarin @britishgold

► NAME ➭    ' tafkar. it means little hotdog in spanish. ‘ ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭     ‘ yeah. ‘ ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭     ‘ uhhh i mean i guess so? that’s a deep question, dude. ‘ ► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭     ' nah, i don’t get angry often. ‘ ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭     ‘ hell no. ‘

⚡️ NINE FACTS!

► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭     ' down in la puerta. ‘ ► HAIR COLOR ➭     ' wicked dark brown, like black pretty much. ‘ ► EYE COLOR ➭     ' same as my hair. ‘ ► BIRTHDAY ➭     ‘ september 15, 1989. ‘ ► MOOD ➭     ' i’m pretty good right now i think. i gotta’ do the dishes though. ‘ ► GENDER ➭     ' guy. ‘ ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭     ' oh my god, summer every day dude. i’m always fucking cold. ‘ ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭    ‘ morning, like, wicked morning. like 3 AM and shit.

⚡️ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭     ' nah. ‘ ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭     ' when i see a really good pretzel. ‘ ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭     ' i don’t remember, probably them. ‘ ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭     ' i don’t doubt it. ‘ ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭     ' uhh it’s probably not my favorite thing. ‘ ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭     ' maybe vav or danny. ‘ ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭     ' fuck i hope so. ‘ ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭     ' i’ve broken my own fingers when i eat shit like a retard on my skateboard. ‘

⚡️SIX CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭     ' love i guess. ‘ ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭     ‘ lemonade. ‘ ► CATS OR DOGS ➭     ' dogs. ‘ ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭     ' uhhh few best. ‘ ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭     ' either, dude. though i guess a night out wins by a small margin. ‘  ► DAY OR NIGHT  ➭     ' night. ‘

⚡️ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭     ' nah man, i know how to be sneaky. ‘ ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭     ' absolutely. ‘ ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭     ' i don’t know? maybe? ‘ ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR ➭     ' if i’ve ever wanted to, i’ve done it. ‘

⚡️FIVE PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭     ' probably smile. ‘ ► FAT OR SKINNY ➭     ' i legit don’t care. ‘ ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭    ' that depends. ‘ ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭     ' intelligence, for sure. ‘ ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭    ‘ ffffffuck i don’t know. probably hook ups. ‘

⚡️ FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭      ‘ oh hell no. your boy’s got mommy issues. dad is uhh. well he’s alive i guess. ‘ ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭     ' doesn’t everybody? everybody goes through super whacked out stuff, man. i’m still breathing so i haven’t messed it up that badly, yet. stay tuned! ‘ ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭     ' yes. peace, bitches. ‘  ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭     ' no. ‘

⚡️ FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭     ' no, that’s fucked up. ‘ ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭     ' i mean, yeah. if someone is your friend, then they can’t be a bad one. bad friends don’t exist; the word you’re thinking of is enemy. ‘ ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭     ' i don’t like the term ‘best friend’. i don’t favor any of my friends over the others. different memories, different jokes, all that gay shit. the people who i hang out most with? rye, danny and aleks. ‘ ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭     ' santa claus. he’s always watching. ‘

#meme machine #RAY !! smoke weed every day

[curriebelle]

Episode Ignis Feels Like Fanfiction and That’s a Good Thing

Ok so I’m having a Thought.

You know when people say something reads “like fanfiction”, and it’s meant to be a criticism? The phrase is one of those intangibles, one of those agreed-upons, where no one can define it quite accurately but everyone thinks they know what it means. Usually it’s a combination of deviation from the original tone, bleaching out character flaws and complexities, a lack of understanding of nuance, and a reverent or worshipful attitude towards old characters, moments, settings, and iconography (and iconography is just the Stuff. Star Wars iconography is lightsabers, wookies and Jedi robes).

That’s a pretty reductive description of fanfiction of course, because a lot of fanfic - whether it’s well or poorly written - doesn’t necessarily follow those patterns. Weirdly enough, saying a sequel or reboot reads “like fanfiction” often implies that the writer doesn’t understand something about the source material - that they’re oversimplifying, or they’re fanning about while failing to understand what a “good” sequel would actually require. And that’s pretty ironic, because fans - obsessive detail-hoarding, secondary-character-worshipping pastiche-crafters that they are - often know the source material better than anyone, sometimes better than the creators themselves, and they are very aware of what they are erasing or changing when they move Marvel into a fluffy coffee shop AU. 

But I’m kind of digressing, because my point is that “this feels like fanfiction” shouldn’t be seen as a criticism, but rather as a gut feeling that we need to unpack. Sometimes it leads to legitimate criticism that, while worth addressing, actually has very little to do with fanfiction. And sometimes it leads to this weird 4:30 am conclusion: Episode Ignis is when “this feels like fanfiction” should be deployed as a compliment. Spoilers onward, for both Episode Ignis and FFXV.

I’m talking specifically about the alternate ending, here, which is tantamount to an FFXV fix-it fic. In this version Ignis averts the tragic ending of FFXV, and though he prepares to sacrifice his own life to do so, it ends up costing nothing. Ignis survives with even prettier hero-scarring than he gets in the regular plot. The episode fills in a sizable story gap after Leviathan knocks Noct out, and closes a few additional plotholes (I wondered what happened to that one obnoxiously overdesigned Imperial guy: turns out Ravus stabbed him). It spends some time with likable characters (Ardyn, yeeee) and underdeveloped characters (again, Ravus). Ignis gets roughed up and drenched, loses the glasses, and I’m 90% sure the animators made his eyes bigger in the cutscenes for extra pretty. He gains maximum plotline power, and Adam Croasdell voice acts the shit out of some sassy comebacks and anguished screaming (ok, this is unrelated, but when he’s doing the regular stormbind combo, it sounds like he screams FUCK in one of his battle grunts and it makes me laugh every time). He can liberate Altissia more or less by himself, and that’s before he drives a goddamn speedboat away from pursuant megarobots. So for anyone calling Mary Sue, yes, Ignis dives headfirst into that. He basically becomes Magic James Bond.

The whole episode is also pretty blatantly queer-coded. We get a very cuddly flashback to kid Noctis, and Ignis’s vow to stand at his side. Ignis is monomaniacal when it comes to finding Noctis. Noctis eiher drops the l-word, referring directly to Ignis and the freshly fridged Lunafreya (I’m still salty about that one, sorry), or says Ignis will always be in his heart depending on the ending. There’s a fantastic gifset going around of the official couples in previous Final Fantasies (Squall and Rinoa, Tidus and Yuna) declaring the exact same thing Ignis does in the alternate ending. “Rinoa, even if the world turns on you, I’ll be your knight”. “There’s no way I’ll let Yuna go”, even if I have to break all the rules of your stupid religion. Even if it costs my own life, I won’t let you take Noctis away. The queer subtext here is one of those things where it’s purposefully vague - just enough emotional evidence and physical contact that you can read romantic feelings there if you want, but just short of an actual romance to leave interpretations open. If you’re convinced Noctis and Luna were in love, Episode Ignis probably won’t debunk that.

So Ignis and his Episode are both powerful, emotional, pretty, potentially kinda gay, and ridiculously awesome.

And honestly, it is phenomenal.

Episode Ignis is a blast to play. His combat style is very fun and quick and fluid and flashy, and the grappling hook in the first portion makes you feel superheroic. Killing Ardyn, meanwhile, makes you feel godlike. It is an incredible surge of adrenaline to take on armies and deities by your lonesome. The gameplay and narrative reflect each other here, just like they do in the base game. FFXV seems happy at first, and the combat is pretty entertaining with all the goofy combo-attacks, but that game is a tragedy. It’s all the more tragic by how fun it is to begin with, and by the end it is painful to play. Characters get older, places fall apart, people die, and you have to escort Ignis around for a chapter while he grows used to being blind and Gladio constantly bitches at you for walking too fast. The photo mechanic is introduced to break your heart later, to show you how fleeting youth and pleasure can truly be under backbreaking destiny.

And in retaliation, Episode Ignis thrives on the power of Fuck You. Long commutes by car, mundane in the moment but peaceful upon reflection decades later? Fuck You, I have a grappling hook. Sections that force you to walk slowly through a dungeon and think about what you’ve done? Fuck You, I’ve got two daggers, lightning teleportation and button-mashing hands. Musings about the ravages of time, and aching nostalgia for youth? Fuck You, Ignis is prettier than ever. A tragic ending pre-ordained by prophecy? Fuck You, Ignis is going to re-write that fate by being clever, patient, and brave enough to sacrifice his life, but double Fuck You, he gets to live as well. Bullets flying, health bar low, multiple explosions and Atlas Ripped decking airships in the background? Fuck. You. It’s time to make some fucking soup.

With all that in mind, it makes sense that people might accuse Episode Ignis of being tone-deaf, of being fanfiction in all the “bad” ways - it neglects the nuance of the original, and papers over complex themes so everything can end up hunky-dory, but I still think that’s too easy.

Here’s the thing: Episode Ignis can only exist as fanfiction - or as alternate-ending DLC, I guess. FFXV is the story of Noctis and his story has an ending and it’s horribly, horribly sad, but it’s also what the story is built around. You might find it too depressing or too grim or you might find it just right, but it is well-structured. FFXV is careful with its themes and patterns and foreshadowing.

Because of that care, Ignis screwing Ardyn’s plans out of whack and saving Noctis from his fate couldn’t occur in the main game. FFXV is not about Ignis. It’s about Noctis. And the gameplay, built as it is around creating nostalgia - photographs, long car rides, camping, friendship - wouldn’t work if the ending wasn’t agonizing enough to make you long for the good old days. Maybe Noctis didn’t have to die or maybe he did, but the ending of FFXV was always going to hurt.

FFXV is an emotional project, and that project is to make the player painfully nostalgic. With that intriguing goal achieved, Episode Ignis exists as a response, and it can never really be more than that. It’s an ending I like better, but it is an alternate ending.

If you think about it, Episode Ignis didn’t need that alternate ending. It could have existed perfectly well as a companion to FFXV, filling in a much-needed blank (and without the alternate ending that’s exactly what it does). But in making a response to FFXV instead, they challenged a lot of assumptions FFXV needed to make in order to tell its story. FFXV assumes its prophecy is the only answer, as do its characters. FFXV yanks a great deal of agency away from Ignis, Prompto and Gladio when it asks them to sit still for a decade and wait for their friend to die without hunting for an alternative

Why can’t they try something else? Why can’t they defeat their nemesis on their own terms? I mean, who the heck does Bahamut think he is, anyway? Who says the ending can’t be happy, and the future can’t be bright?

Those are exactly the questions a fanfiction writer would ask. FFXV created those questions, and Episode Ignis addresses them, but in a way that acts as more of a breach than a closure. It’s one route to a happy ending - so maybe there are more. This is also the reason I brought up the queercoding in Episode Ignis. If there is any genre that needs a complete overhaul from grimdark tragedy into happy endings, it’s the scourge that is the modern queer romance story. There are so many of those bloody stories ending in anguish or separation or suicide or displeasure, and not nearly enough fairytales. Having a tragic ending overturned by the power of queer love is an insanely empowering experience, and that’s probably why you see so many posts about how Ignis’s gay love can pierce the veil of death and save the day. Episode Ignis didn’t need its queercoding any more than it needed its alternate ending, but the two make sense together: both of them are stories that people are absolutely aching for.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like this - a company actively revising their story, overturning its mood, questioning its plot, granting a completely different ending, and then asking fans to pay 6.99 for it. It’s different from alternate film endings, because those are DVD extras and one always wins the theatrical release. It’s different from re-imaginings or adaptations because Episode Ignis is...just not quite that. It can’t exist on its own, unlike most remakes. Video games are always fluid texts to a certain extent, but now developers are even relinquishing the solidity of lore and cutscenes. It’s so odd.

At the decision point of Episode Ignis, you can use R1 and L1 to flip the camera back and forth, moving between a shot of Ardyn and a shot of Ignis. It’s a tiny, insignificant moment, one that almost feels like a mistake - like maybe the developers couldn’t figure out how to stage a normal shot-reverse-shot. But that moment became an oddly powerful synecdoche for what Episode Ignis was to me. If you want to look at this story from a different angle, well, go for it. Here’s another place you can point the camera. Maybe the sun will rise over there too.

#ffxv #episode ignis #what the fuck it's six am #happy 2018

[jenroses]

Check Please filk for Fandom Loves Puerto Rico

So, hubby did a thing!

@cesy donated money to Puerto Rico back in the fall, asking for “Check Please filk, preferably something about the Actually I Do Make The Rules series.”

Hubby had been threatening to turn Coach Bittle’s speech in Equal Protection: School Rules into a filk for a while, so he decided to take it on. He mused and ponder for months, and then said, “Aha!” and disappeared for an afternoon to write.

First of all, you need to know this amazing song by @seananmcguire: (note that this version skips a verse, the filk does not.)

Second of all, if you haven’t, you DEFINITELY need to read Check Please.

Third, you should read my fanfic series, Actually, I Do Make The Rules as the song branches off from the third story in the series (the first three are pretty short.) (That’s “Coach’s Speech”, btw...)

Hubby took a few liberties with plot for the sake of scansion (which actually makes this less spoilery for everything,) but the end song captures the mood really well, and has been driving his friends to go read Check Please... 

SONG-O-MATIC #18-08 Tune: Seanan Mcguire: "Wicked Girls" Eric made pies, and he switched figure skating for hockey They called him a sissy, and made his experience rocky He could make other players the best who exist He used his speed, not just for goals, but assists To stay safe from bullies, he transferred through three different schools But if they had been nice to him, he's have made pies for those fools! Jody played football, and thrived in the halfback position.

Honored and praised as a star, till she started transition The things that they said to her'd make your hair curl "We don't want you back, now we know you're a girl!" For a time, she was downcast, and thought she'd be better off dead

But since that's what they wanted---she went out for hockey instead! Ransom and Holster, and Bittle and Jack Nursey and Chowder, they've all got your back

Setting and fixing a world out of whack And putting it on the right track Coach Bittle says, and I don't think he's wrong You have to be kind if you want to be strong Respect, and be decent, and we'll get along Athletes having your back Jack was from three generations of Stanley Cup winners He kept to himself at the parties and end-of-year dinners Finally he dared to come out to the team Feeling so vulnerable, wanting to scream Prepared for rejection, he found that they'd known all along As they offered him hugs, and said, "Brother, what took you so long?" Ella was given a Roofie by men who deceived her Abused and discarded like trash, she thought no one believed her But the coach heard her out, and he shook to his toes Her attackers had been the most talented bros On the team, but from that day, no more could he call them "the best" They're not just off the team, they're expelled and they're under arrest Ransom and Holster and Nursey and Dex Bittle and Lardo, they stick out their necks They know that a hero is one who protects And not one who joins an attack Coach Bittle says, and I think you'll approve Help others fit in, if you want to improve Come talk to us; we're determined to prove Athletes having your back Sam has tattoos; Alexander pays forward what's loaned him Jen took her cousin in after his parents disowned him Leslie's nonbinary; Cody is bi And Rob leads a self-defense co-op nearby And the rules that they live by are simple and quick-- Be kind, be respectful, and don't be a dick! Eric and Ransom and Holster and Jack They say, if you're pushed and you want to push back You can bring them your baggage; they'll help you unpack And help put you on the right track Coach Bittle says, and I think you'll concur You won't be alone, you won't have to endure We're on your side and you'll find us, for sure Athletes having your back.

Good people don't bully; Good people don't hate And the good life's not just for the Christian and straight So go tell the gay, the disabled, the geek There's a place they can turn if they will not be weak We have vowed to be caring, and loyal, and true And we think you'll find, we're not so different from you We hope you're not taken aback So let's share a dream, and we'll fly as a team Say the athletes having your back.

(note on “Song-o-matic”... He’s been writing an average of a song per week every year for the past 3-4 years. Some of them take him less time to write than they do to sing, others involve months of process. He’s been thinking about writing this one since 2016.)

#Mine #filk #Fandom Loves Puerto Rico #Check Please #Wicked Girls #actually i do make the rules #equal protection #political filk

[felicityb-reviews]

Review Roundup - Week 4 January 2018

Hello, my lovely baby boos!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and welcome to your Weekly Roundup for Week 4 of January 2018!! This week was something else, sis. I must have listened to 40 or 50 different songs for this week's list. It was cray!! For these kinds of lists, the last thing I wanna do is leave off songs because I don't like them, but that's what I ended up having to do. This week's list was getting excessively long (is still excessively long), but the last thing we need here is an RRU with 20 ballads.

That being said, there's a lot of songs here with "I liked it, it was good" reviews. There's not much I can do about that. A lot of the music that came out this week was very middle of the road. They're good songs, don't get me wrong; I'd throw very few of them into the Shuffle Bait. But there's just not much to say about them.

Turn It Up (RAINZ)

*sigh*

I really wanted to like this song, you guys. That chorus is Rave Excellence™ (if EDM tracks from rookie boy bands sounded like this, I wouldn't hate them so much). It's fucking everything, sis. And you know, I can excuse RAINZ for conjuring the spirit of 4minute with that New and Improved™ Hate breakdown. Everything leading up to it was bomb af, so I can get over myself with how annoyed I was by it.

But what I refuse to get over is DUBSTEP IN 2018!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

NO MA'AM!!

I don't know what makes Turn It Up pop so much more than tracks we've heard from groups like UP10TION or SF9 or ViCTON, because like I mentioned before, it's all in the same lane. Sure, that chorus makes my inner gay wanna come charging out and kiss five boys before rolling around in body paint (and then proceed to kiss five more boys), but this isn't anything we haven't heard before, musically. There's nothing inherently fun about this song (just extremely gay, which... RAINZ is a Broduce 101 project group, so of course), I just really freaking like it.

I just can't get over dubstep in 2018. If I had the means to cut it out of the track, I would be featuring that version in the official playlist.

#PettyBitch

Rating - Conditional Rotation

NO MORE (LIMZY featuring Huckleberry P)

No More is an exercise in RnB influenced Trip Hop/EDM that I wasn't sure I was gonna like, at first. This weirdly disjointed flavor of electroRnB is really not my taste, and the fact that LIMZY pushed it more left field than I've heard before really didn't help matters.

But No More is charming in its own way. The more I listened to it, the more it grew on me. LIMZY's smooth vocals are a nice foil to the weirdness of the beat, and Huckleberry P's rap didn't irritate me as much as I thought it would. I gotta be in a certain mood to really enjoy a song like this, but when I'm in said mood, catch me dissociating to No More.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

A luminous cat (Evolution of Sound)

A luminous cat is kind of basic, but it's also kind of fun. It's hella catchy, too.

Would you say that the luminous cat is also a lucky cat?!?!?!

I've always found it interesting how the farther away from K-Pop you get, the lower everyone's voices get. Ballad singers live in the low baritone/mezzo soprano range (although some of them think they live in soprano/tenor land, and they need to Stop Stop It™), and EoS's vocalist is the same. He's got a voice on him like WINNER's Kang Seung Yoon, but not quite as raspy. It's really nice to listen to.

A luminous cat is a synth driven pop/rock song. The first time I listened to it, I was bored as fuck all. The teaser had a lil somethin' somethin' goin' on, but the song fell flat in full. Upon repeat listens, A luminous cat hooks you in, but this is not a track I really wanna play all of the time. Which is a shame, cause I don't hear this type of sound a lot in Korean music.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

Ttongkku (Park Jongchul)

This is the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. And I stan Kim Jongin, okay?!?!? Do y'all know how cute my mans is?!!? But this video is even cuter than him!!!

#Shook

Ttongkku is a very whimsical acoustic ballad (for lack of a better descriptor). With the way Ttongkku is written, I'd expect this to be from something for children. The majority of the song follows the same strum pattern, just with different chord progressions swapped in, so Ttongkku is perhaps one of the most simple songs I've reviewed. That doesn't take away from how great this song is, tho. It's a really nice break from all the flashiness of K-Pop, which can easily wear on the ears.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

To Heart (fromis_9)

To Heart sounds like the theme song from a 2008 shoujo anime. I shouldn't be surprised considering their pre-release track, Glass Shoes, also sounded like that, and the inspiration behind Idol School is definitely Japanese idol groups. It's just not a sound you hear a lot in K-Pop.

fromis_9 (pronounced Promise 9, even though I still pronounce it like it's written without meaning to) is the group that resulted from last year's survival show Idol School. You know, when everyone was suddenly concerned about the ethnics of all these survival shows, because it wasn't under the Produce banner.

#ShadyBitch

While I liked Glass Shoes (and appreciated K-Pop's modern production techniques being applied to a song like it), it was definitely nothing to write home about. It was easy to lose it in the craziness that is end of the shows and what not. To Heart is, unfortunately, more of the same, but it definitely holds its own.

To Heart is an upbeat, happy go lucky pop/rock track with a really catchy violin riff layered on top of the intro and chorus bits. The verses are rather lowkey, but the chorus puts the pedal to the metal with the energy. You don't really hear a lot of lighter pop/rock tracks in K-Pop, so this is definitely a sound I'd like for fromis_9 to explore more, because it could easily give them a leg up on all the other cutesy girl groups. Tis a good comeback, but that's literally it for me, sis.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Jazzclub (BoA)

Current Dancing Queen of K-Pop, Kwon BoA, has set her sights on Japan with a new album, set to release in February of 2018 (and it was about fuckin' time, because Who's Back was an abominable Mess™)!! Jazzclub is a song that's been floating around since December, but I'm including it in today's list per request since the single actually dropped last week.

Um... Whom tf just calls their ex out of the blue to tell them they got married?! Every time I watch the video for Jazzclub, I'm so confused by why this bit is included (they literally could've just started with BoA in the club with the song playing).

To the surprise of quite a few people (myself included), Jazzclub is an electroswing track with one of the catchiest horn riffs I've heard in K-Pop. If you're over horn riffs in K-Pop, you'll be happy to know that while it is played at the intro and after every chorus, those sections don't last for long. The most surprising bit about this song is definitely when BoA starts scat singing. Never in my life would I ever expect Kwon Boah to start scat singing in one of her songs, but I guess that just goes to show why she's the Queen.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about Jazzclub, babies. I obviously don't hate it, but there's just something keeping me from falling in love with this song completely. I definitely enjoy the chorus, that horn riff doesn't really bother me (I been listening to all kinds of horns in my music since I was a baby), and I was scalpedt by BoA's scat singing. But this song just doesn't come together the way I need it to, sis. BoA seems like she's phoning it in here, and that's the opposite of what someone in her stature should be doing.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Don't Stop (TheEastLight.)

TheFetusLight. TheEastLight. weren't content with shaving our edges off with the Funky Fresh™ A Real Man last week, so they decided to drop a lyric video for their song Don't Stop to finish the job.

Of shaving us baldt, that is.

Don't Stop is a pop/punk number that I immediately latched onto. It simply suits TheFetusLight. TheEastLight. far more than A Real Man did. Not to say that they did MJ wrong with A Real Man, but Don't Stop feels more like their style. TheFetusLight. TheEastLight. do more youthful n fun tracks like this (and I Got You) far better than they do songs like A Real Man and You're My Love, because these types of songs suit their voices more.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Winter Sleep (Lee Junhoe of 2PM)

Two questions -

How many of these 2PM fools can rap?!?!

What is up with these 2PM boys having whack ass vocal production on their songs!?!?!

Junhoe's Winter Sleep sounds like he got Day6's Young K to write him a song and then pulled in some random producer to arrange it into an RnB track. While I am cross about the weird effects on Junhoe's voice (they contrast very Wrongly™ with the sample that sounds like a digital clock ticking), he sounds leagues better than Wooyoung did on two of the four songs I reviewed for in previous Review Roundups, so I'm not too mad.

I don't like this song. It's not a Trash Bomb like Wooyoung's Party Shots, but I wouldn't even download this for Shuffle Bait. The weird beeping contrasting with the vocal effects is one thing, but the entire song just sounds way too loud. None of the elements meld together in a pretty manner, and if I were Young K, I'd demand reparations for Junhoe doin' my song like this.

Rating - Trash Bomb

Radio 199.3 (SBGB)

SBGB decided to go left field with their acoustic midtempo, and the results are a very pleasing aural experience.

Radio 199.3 is your typical acoustic midtempo, but with some very creative chord choices to make the song stand out above all the other acoustic midtempos we've heard this month. I'm typical a sucker for these types of songs (and their RnB cousins), so even if SBGB didn't include the ear catching chord progressions, I'd still be a fan of this song.

This is a song for soft days. For rainy afternoons that make you wanna curl up in bed with someone special. Or those days when things are just kind of blue, and you wanna listen to something simple.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Thank You, Goodbye (BoA)

BoA, once again proving that she is indeed That Bitch™ (as in, That Bitch™ who loves to spread ha'self too thin), has released the the title track from her new Japanese album two days before she drops her new Korean album.

Because why scalp ya fandom once, when you can do it twice?!?! IN TWO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!

Thank You, Goodbye is a Japanese Ballad. If you've been a J-Pop fan for any period of time, you've decided if you like these types of songs or hate them (song quality notwithstanding). I happen to really like the way they sound, and I absolutely adore Thank You, Goodbye. BoA has a very shrill, nasal voice, so anytime she records a song like this, it's a risk that it could turn out Very Bad™. But the production in Thank You, Goodbye compliments BoA's voice well. And speaking of her voice, whomstever was on vocal production duties was on their A game, cause these arrangements are A1. You deserve a raise, babe!!

BoA's Thank You, Goodbye album is due for release in Japan on February 14, while Nega Dola is due for release in Korea on January 31.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Shall We Dance (SBGB)

Shall We Dance is a very different song than what I was expecting. I thought she was gonna be an upbeat acoustic number, but what I got was a melancholy piano driven midtempo.

I'm not upset, tho. On the contrary, I'm very content.

Shall We Dance sees SBGB sprinkling in unusual sonic choices (including an uptick in tempo at the end of the track) to make their acoustic midtempos pop just like in Radio 199.3. This is all tied together with the very bright (but restrained) soprano of their vocalist.

I like Shall We Dance more than I do Radio 199.3, simply because I like piano driven tracks more than acoustic guitar ones, but I don't see myself listening to it as much as Radio 199.3. Radio 199.3 is a song for a specific mood, but the mood of Shall We Dance is quite darker than the one in Radio 199.3, That's not something I really want in my space all the time. Still, this song makes my Musician Brain™ very happy.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Cherry On Top (10:45 from The Unit G)

Y'all, I was so so S O sure that Cherry On Top was gonna make the Fabulous Five for this week!! I don't know what name I'd put on songs with this kind of synth bass that also acts like a melodic element and a percussive one, but I fucking L O V E them. I loved it in SNSD's All Night (All Night should have been all the chorus bits, imo), and I loved it in the Cherry On Top preview.

But Cherry On Top is Como se dice... Not Good™.

Now, I listen to Cherry On Top like crazy, because I'm a fan of all of the different elements. But I listen to a lot of songs that I'd rate very poorly, because a) my taste in music is trash and b) I like fun music. If you're song isn't made well, but is a fun aural experience, I can excuse that.

I'm not gonna put you in a top faves list, because I have *some* integrity. But I mean...

The problem with Cherry On Top is that the verses and the choruses are too different, and the transition from the verse to the chorus is whack af. I mean, they *tried* (once), but it's still too jarring of a change. And I don't understand why they jumped right from the verse to the chorus after the rap in the second verse. That always throws me off. This bridge is also trash. It's literally just the prechorus, copy and pasted after the second refrain section. Blegh.

Today's video of Cherry On Top is brought to you by the ladies of The UNIT G's 10:45 unit winning second place in the digital single challenge. There is also a performance version of the video (that I wish was the original) that you can view here. And be sure to watch the ladies of 10:45 making your fave boy band look redundant on Music Bank here!!

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Always (Blooming of The Unit G)

I'm not gonna lie, the first time I heard Always, I turned my tv off because I couldn't find my phone to change the video. I really had that visceral of a reaction to the song.

Always is every cutesy K-Pop song you've ever heard. And I usually love these kinds of songs; they're fun, even if they aren't the most imaginative thing in the world. But Always is just ridiculously saccharine. It's a little too much, sis. It did end of growing on me, but this is not a song I want in my face all the time.

Today's video of Always is brought to you by the ladies of The UNIT G's Blooming unit winning first place in the digital single challenge. There is also a performance version of the video that you can view here. And be sure to check out Blooming perform Always on Music Bank here!!

Rating - Shuffle Bait

I Wanna Become a Celeb (Celeb Five)

Whoever said trot music was boring has clearly never heard of Celeb 5.

Granted, I'm pretty sure this is a project group, because *I've* never heard of them before this song. Either way, I Wanna Become a Celeb is a really fun trot song that's perfect if you need something over the top to jam to.

The best part of I Wanna Become a Celeb is how it refuses to take itself seriously. There's a random ass break in the middle of the track where it totally changes vibes twice, and then goes back to the original. The vocals are done in a tongue in cheek manner. The entire thing is just a really fun mess, and I love everything about it.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

The Perks Of Breaking Up (Cho Jung Chi featuring Fromm)

The Perks of Breaking Up is a sad song. But not too sad, if that makes sense.

The Perks of Breaking Up is a soft synthrock ballad. I really like the way it builds from a simple acoustic guitar all the way up to a rousing orchestration of guitars and synths. A song like this could have easily turn dreary and overly sad, but the arrangement and composition uplifts it. Yes, this is a song about a breakup, but it isn't the end of the world. Take what you need to be sad, and live. That's the feeling I get from this song. Tis nice.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Propose (Younha)

Miss Younha, not content with the pile of wigs she procurred with last month's Hello and Parade, has blessed us with an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo in the form of Propose.

We love a benevolent queen, babies.

Propose, like I mentioned above, is an Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo. Ms Younha's voice is complimented well by a soft guitar and electric keyboard, which are all laid over a soft n simple drum machine. A song like this is Shuffle Bait in the best of ways, imo. I'd put this on on my own accord, mind you, but this is the kind of song I'd look forward to playing if I put my phone on shuffle.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Always Find You (Kwon Yuri x RAIDEN)

I see Future Bass is the mood of #TwentyGayTeen. Not sure how I feel about that, but considering how much I like Always Find You (and how I can't wait for Seventeen to ruin my life with Thank You), I guess I don't mind.

The problem that I have with most Future Bass songs is that they lack any type of punch or originality. And I mean, most styles of EDM really do not have any room for originality, but Future Bass just seems to have this problem where producers and DJs just churn out the most generic sounding beats they can. Always Find You, thankfully, doesn't have that issue.

Always Find You has a breakdown that washes over you and makes you feel like you're floating. There's a depth of sound/feeling here that I don't get with most Future Bass tracks. Yuri isn't the best vocalist, but she does her best to stand head and shoulders above the instrumentation (and has a producer that wants those Big Man Monies™). There are also vocoded bits that serve as a hook interjected into the prechorus that make it pop, and it's just... *clenches fist* So Good!!

Always find you is a collaboration between Yuri and English based producer/DJ Raiden for SMSTATION. There is an English version that features on Protocol Records' Youtube channel that you can watch here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Hometown (Ryan)

Ryan's Hometown sounds like someone decided to take acid, and turn the experience into a song. It's... I'm not quite sure if I like the way it turned out.

Hometown starts out nice and easy, folks. She's not gonna hurt you. Yet. Ryan creates a beautifully tranquil atmosphere with just his voice and a piano, but it doesn't stay that way for long. Hometown very quickly builds and crests into a drop that I would lovingly describe as Dissociation At It's Finest™.

Cause a bitch feels like she's flying!! YEEHAW, MOTHERFUCKERS!!

After the second verse is when Hometown takes a turn into Bad Trip™ land. This section takes the gentle and almost euphoric feeling of the first drop, and inverts them into something nightmareish. If you're not prepared for this section, it can scare the absolute shit outta you. I don't know why Ryan decided to add it, because the lazy bitch couldn't be fucked to properly transition out of it when he goes into the second prechorus. Either way, if you can get past how odd that shit is, Hometown is pretty great.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Beautiful Life (Six Bomb)

Six Bomb is a group that keeps cropping up out of nowhere and surprising my ass, and you'd think I'd be used to this shit by now. At least they left the gimmicky concepts at home, and decided to just deliver a nice song this time around.

Beautiful Life is really not much to write home around. It's just a really simple pop song, accented by a sax riff that honestly makes the song. If you're sick to the back of ya teef of sax riffs in your pop music, then skip to the next song, this one is not for you. But if you don't mind them, Beautiful Life is nice.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

Baby Boo (High Soul featuring KissN and Mint)

You know that feeling when you stan a rookie from a small company that you aren't sure is gonna make it?!!?! That's me with High Soul. She showed up last year on a random episode of Music Core with a song I couldn't find a video for, and besides a few more sporadic daily music show appearances, I haven't heard from her since.

Baby Boo is a very cutesy swing song that I have to be in a cutesy mood to listen to. If the entire track was just KissN (except for Lime's rap break), I'd probably like this way more, but High Soul's nasally tone is a bit too much with the brightness of the instrumentation. I'm glad that she's still making music, but sis... This ain't the move.

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Miss You (Jang Sooa)

Miss You is a very smooth and straight forward RnB song. This is the type of song I wanna play after listening to a song like CHASY's Memories:Snow, because it helps me anchor my soul back to reality.

Cause shit, a bitch really be visitin' four dimensions in the Higher Realm™ while listening to tracks like Memories:Snow.

Miss You is your typical Acoustic Coffee Shop RnB Midtempo to the T. But that's okay, sis!! We love those around these parts!! People these days are really scared to do shit that's considered ~typical~, but sometimes it's just best to stay in your lane. And that's what Ms Sooa does with Miss You.

Ms Sooa has a really pretty voice that compliments the instrumentation of Miss You very well. More intricate vocal production/arrangement would've been appreciated, tho. And mayhaps a rap break?!?! I feel like this needs a rap break. Nonetheless, a really nice song.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

vague (Ha Un)

Vague is a song you'd hear playing in an upscale bar. Pleasantly funky, but in a manner you can ignore if you wanted to.

There's not really much for me to say about vague other than "I liked it, it was good". A song like this is a textbook Shuffle Bait track, sis. I like the funkiness of the guitars and bass, and the way Ha Un's voice sis on top of the track is Very Nice™, but everything from the arrangement to the chord progressions used here are things I've heard in other songs. And not only that, but used more creatively.

Vague isn't a bad song, it just isn't that creative. And honestly, while I did just say that sometimes it's better to just stay in your lane, sometimes you stay a little *too* far in your lane.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

FLY (Heera featuring PDAY)

FLY is a song I was looking forward to, because the teasers gave me a nice instrumental. But sis... Heera's vocals were whack. They did the thing where they had the hook play out over silence, and... It wasn't cute. BUT!! I've been fooled by teasers before, so I figured I should hear FLY in full before condemning it.

My initial reaction was correct. This instrumentation is amazing, but Miss Heera's voice gets hella screechy. It's not pleasant. And while I like that this is an experimental electroRnB track that isn't too left field, I don't like it enough to purposefully play the song more than twice.

Rating - Shuffle Bait

6 (Six) (MDSZ)

6 sounds like it should be the opener for a Shounen Jump anime. That extended intro at the beginning would lend itself very well to a Bleach or Black Cat type of show.

6 is a synth driven pop/punk track. I wasn't sure what to make of this song at first, but it grew on me. Like, a fuckin' weed. This type of track would be great to work out to. I mean, I don't really work out, but I'd assume the energy here would hype you up like you're the baddest bitch in that gym.

If I ever find myself in Korea, I'd love to hear this song live. The studio version packs quite the punch, but it feels a little restrained. And that's very common with songs like these, because mixing them requires you to EQ a lot of the different elements quite aggressively to get them to sound nice together in a recording. But still, live show. I wanna be there.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

The Fabulous Five

5. NIRVANA (Ravi)

Can someone please find me what that melody being played by the xylophone at the beginning of this song is from?!?!! It sounds so annoying familiar, but I can't place it and it's gonna drive me nuts.

Not as nuts as Ravi's Sik-k imitations, but close.

Nirvana starts out sounding very on trend for a K-HipHop song. I'm not gonna lie, I was debating if I should leave Nirvana off the list, because Ravi's intro was just... So Bad™. But since we're being better people in 2018, I decided to give the whole song a chance, and I was very surprised. The verse had me boppin' a lil, cause Ravi ditches the autotune and starts rapping like he means it.

But nothing could have prepared for the Rave Realness™ of the chorus, ladies.

The autotune is back with a vengeance, but it fits the Rave backdrop better, so I'm not mad. And I will admit (grudgingly), that the hook is catchy as fuck all. This combination, lowkey, reminds me of Azealia Banks' Ice Princess (the verse bits on Nirvana are more RnB than trap, but same concept). This kind of combo really shouldn't work, but the transition into the Rave sections from the verses is clean af.

Jimin's bits are a nice break from Ravi (he's learned to stop embellishing his voice, but he can still be annoying at times), but I feel like they could have utilized her more in the track. The brightness of her voice contrasts the depth of Ravi's, plus she elevates the Rave sections very nicely. But we literally hear her for 10 seconds twice and dassit, boo!!

For whatever reason, Nirvana gets mixed into one of the b-sides on Ravi's mixtape called Alcohol in the official video. You can listen to both tracks separately here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

4. Sunset Dream (Kriesha Chu)

Miss Kriesha Chu got bored with that Future Bass mess Hui (of Pentagon) gave her and decided to take a swipe at Ariana's ponytail. Turn up!!

Sunset Dream swaggerjacks Problem down to the horn riffs and trap breakdowns, sis. Fortunately, it does so in a way that improves upon the original, and isn't reductive. Kriesha Chu doesn't particularly care that we know she stole Problem out from underneath Ariana Grande's nose. She just wants us to know that she's a better dancer.

And has more stage presence, but let's not get *too shady*.

I don't really understand why Like Paradise was chosen to be the title track from Kriesha Chu's first glorified single album mini album when Sunset Dream was right there. This song makes Like Paradise look dusty af, and I'm salty as hell now. Either way, I'm glad she decided to perform it on MCD One Good Time™. If you'd like to hear the studio version, you may do so here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

3. Memories:Snow (CHASY featuring Yeonhee)

If I ever lucked out and got cast in a movie, I'd want this song to play during the first makeout scene with my character's boyfriend. These types of really intense breakdowns are perfect for those types of scenes, sis.

CHASY's Memories:Snow is what I wanted from Ryan's Hometown - a straightforward EDM track to dissociate to. There are no surprise breakdowns or beat switches here, baby. Memories:Snow is 100% chillstep. And I fucking love it. These types of songs are great for bad days, because they either make me cry or feel like I'm floating.

Obviously, I like the floaty feel feels better, because that doesn't make physically exhausted, but sometimes a bitch just has to cry.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

2. Glue (Planetarium Records)

Last we saw the boys of Planetarium Records, they were ruining my life with tropical flavored RnB. Glue sees them trading in the tropical synths and drum beats for more conventional, Gospel inspired RnB sounds and hip hop beats.

And to the utter surprise and shock of absolutely no one, I fucking loved it.

While Blah was a "winin' on the beach, dancin' by the sand castles" type of track that would make any misc. group of niggas party go crazy, Glue is slow n sultry. Glue is a "slow dancing with bae" type track. Glue is a "I'm gon' romance you if it's the L A S T thing I do" track. Glue is the type of song you sing to bae when you wanna get in dem guts (or have bae blunder yours #InclusivityInOurSexJams). Glue is a song of many moods, sis.

Glue is brought to us today via a special showcase live video. The Planetarium boys were kind enough to also post their performance of Blah, which you may view here.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

1. On or Off (Nick & Sammy)

So like... Y'all just gon' snatch up Eric Nam like that!?!? Y'all really gon' steal my mans' song, and do it better than him!?!?!? I'm not mad (#SorryBae :3), I'm just curious, sis!!

On or Off is 90% a funky ass bassline, and y'all K N O W how I feel about Funk in my K-Pop!! It's also 90% Sammy rapping (and a lil singing), but I'm absolutely not mad at that, either. Nick comes in with his smooth n bright tenor just enough that it doesn't feel like On or Off is Sammy featuring Nick (in fact, I probably wouldn't like this song as much if it was just Sammy), so it's all good.

On or Off, like I mentioned above, is Funky af. Nick & Sammy have snatched their own little slice of the '90s with track, and it works so ridiculously well. On or Off is also lowkey af; this is a song you play when the party's winding down, sis. It's a lil hype, but you not trynna have nobody be buckwild.

Btw, am I just imagining things or does it sound like the na na na's were quoted from Will Smith's Gettin' Jiggy Wit It?!?!?! They didn't lift the actual audio from the song, but it sounds like they recorded their own version of that bit.

1theK continues to do the Lord's work by providing a Special Clip of On or Off (it's basically a live studio recording with) that you can watch here. Nick & Sammy also posted a dance practice video to their channel that you can view here. And be sure to check out the other videos on their Youtube channel; their covers and mashups are fucking amazing.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Alright guys, that's it for today's list!! Be sure to tune in this time next for my next Review Roundup featuring songs from this week (I'll try to keep it under 20 songs this time, but no promises)!! And don't forget to keep your eyes open on Friday for the next entry in my SHINee Feature Spotlight series, where we're gonna be looking at some of SHINee's more contemporary tracks!!

I'm also starting up full length reviews again, pending my work schedule. I've got two lined up for next Monday, one at 12pm EST and the other at 6pm EST. Be sure to show them some love, guys!!

Love you all.

#Nick&Sammy #Planetarium Records #CHASY #Kriesha Chu #Ravi #ViXX #15& Jimin #Yeonhee #Review Roundup #Felicity B

[tenshinokorin]

alternate facts

Permit me an old fanlady moment, and a bit of what used to be called navel-gazing or wank (and that’s what it still is no matter what it’s called now), as regards the term Alternate Universe. This contains My Opinions! Yours may differ. That’s fine. (Please write yours elsewhere, if only for the sake of me not emptying my xanax prescription before my refill date yet again.) 

I have to admit, I’m baffled sometimes by how people use the term AU these days. A lot of the time it seems like it’s completely interchangeable with things like “headcanon” or even just “fanfic,” period. And I get how all fanfic is technically an alternate universe, really! Of course my fic universe is going to be slightly different from yours or yours or yours and all of them are shades different from the source material, based on how we experienced it and who we are and even what mood we were in at the time when we encountered it. But those nuances don’t make a fanfic an AU in my book.  

Like, RDD? It’s not… really an AU? ^_^; At least not an AU in the way that term came about. To me, an AU is literally “Alternate Universe.” Like the classic coffee shop example. You literally take these characters and story elements and you put them somewhere else entirely. Or you take the story and you change something major and write from there (for example, protag is actually an antagonist or some major element of a backstory is changed in a way that has serious repercussions and means the source material and the fic are no longer compatible–the fic universe has become totally distinct from the source universe.)

And sure. Fanfic always bends the rules, unless it is literally straight-up gen. Probably all these guys in FFXV were not written to be near so gay as I make them! I get that. But bending that isn’t enough to make the whole thing an AU fic, to me. If the story basically riffs off of the canon as it stands (with maybe a very few variations like interpretations of characters’ backgrounds, tastes, motives etc.), it’s not an AU. If you can look at the fic and the source material and say, sure, this can slot in here in these existing gaps and you only need to whack it a few times with a mallet to make it fit, I don’t consider that to be an AU. I don’t consider my FFXV fic AU. (Crossover with FFVIII excepted ofc, and when the fourth wall is broken or it’s silly or whatever, that’s not AU either, it’s just… comedy.)

I guess the upshot of this is, I work really hard to make my stuff canon-believable, even if not fully canon-compliant. I know that doesn’t matter to everyone, but that’s part of what makes the experience fun for me. And when people call it an AU I’m like, no, it isn’t! TT_TT I like AUs just fine and have written plenty, but this isn’t one. It’s meant to be a totally believable interpretation of the storyline as it exists (and as we have it right now please SE quit your endless retconning it pains me to no end). I know I pulled some wacky hijinks at the end there, but they're wacky hijinks that interfere very little with the bulk of the story we're given, and spring off from the ending of the game itself. It's an alternate ending, not an entire alternate universe. Because if I was going to go full AU on these characters, and this story, and this world? I kid you not, it would be a scorched earth scenario. Around that colossal wreck, nothing beside would remain. (And I might as well pull a 50 Shades of Instruments maneuver and just publish it as original at that point, except that goes against even my admittedly very slipshod principles.)

So until SE comes out and says “in no way whatsofriking ever did these characters get relocated to a new world post-game and never once in his life has Prompto Argentum owned a pair of comedy socks and TnK is a horrible person full of lies,” RDD is not an AU. It’s just a fanfic.

Okay. Sorry to slow you down. Carry on.

#I just know I'm going to regret posting this #but I'm doing it anyway #just like my opinion man

[divingforpearls]

the break up was just over two months ago and I’ve been using dating apps to talk to girls ever since. At first I really wanted to meet up with some gay girls, because I wanted affection and also friends (I don’t really have any). But it was still too raw. After a month I finally met up with one persistent girl

Omg she was exactly my type. But I’m still not looking for a relationship, which I told her before the date and she said the same. We completely hit it off and spend the whole day together. I’m getting tired though (I’m a big introvert) and I feel comfortable with the level of friendship we had got to on that day. I was thinking to go home, arrange another date, and then see if the mood shifts towards something more sexual or if it stays in a friendly area because I really liked her as a person. Well, she kissed me. Full on kissed me. And kept holding my hand. So we were clearly no longer in friend territory, but there was something about the way she kept holding my hand, it felt like a romantic thing, and I’m not here for romance. She asked me if I wanted to meet up with her again in a few days because she had the week off work. I said I would let her know the next day. I wanted to sleep on it and process everything. I have a habit of getting swept up in new relationships after break ups so I just wanted to go home and let it sit for a night.

So the next day, I sent her a message telling her I had a great time, clarified that I’m not looking for a relationship right now but that she’s gorgeous and I really enjoyed spending time with her, and that I’m still down to meet up if she wants to. After a long time she finally replied that it was fine and she would let me know. Her writing style was off and I knew from then that she wouldn’t respond again. She didn’t. I blocked and deleted her after a week.

This really knocked any confidence I had to meet up with new girls. I’m already a nervous wreck of anxiety. It took two attempts to meet her. I had an anxiety attack the first time and cancelled on her at the last minute. So it really took a lot. And then for her to just ghost me. I totally understand that it was likely that she had said she wasn’t looking for anything serious, but that she felt differently when we met, and maybe just didn’t want to deal with that. I get it. But now my anxiety has fuel. Now it’s like, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh, you could spend all that energy on someone only to never hear back from them, even if they like you

It’s just...draining. There’s another girl ho has been really persistent about meeting up with me and I’ve already cancelled on her twice. She cancelled on me once and I was so relieved. She seems really nice. But I’ve ignored her for two days now because I just don’t want to meet up with her. Like, some day? Yes I’d love to. But my mental health is so terrible right now, the idea of meeting up with her at the end of the week puts me out of whack for the days running up to it. She says, do you want to try meeting up? And I don’t have the heart to say no. Or maybe it’s the logic part of my brain that texts her back saying I’d love to. And then the anxiety comes back in like, there’s no way you’re actually meeting up with her. The last message she sent me was asking if Friday or Saturday was better. That was two days ago. I’m considering just not texting her back. But then I’m the same as the girl who did that to me! I want to want to meet her, but I’m scared of the rejection. It’s so hard to get any girl to the stage of meeting up, most conversations fizzle out after a couple of days. And idk if this one is going to be a friendship or what. I’m terrible at flirting with girls anyway and idk how to tell (since the last date I think I was flirting without realising)

Online dating is weird and I hate it and I wish lesbians would just flirt with me on the street as brazenly as men do