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alkaloidalypse · 1 year

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SPOILERS FOR ELEMENTS EXCEPT ITS THE GENUINE REVELATION ANIMATION MV THEY UPLOADED SO MAYBE NOT BUT JUST IN CASE IM PUTTING IT UNDER KEEP READING my brain is not cooking anything however i need to lET MY THOUGHTS OUT FOR SOMEONE TO PUT IT TOGETHER LIKE A DETECTIVE

first of all i want to say that all that budget fr went to the quality of the mv like damn??? and i heard that theyre making an animation MVs series so we’ll be expecting more of such MVs like this in the future (MANIFESTING ALKALOID ANIMATION MVS PLS HAPPYELE)

ok but continuing on

i knew some of the context of past fine thanks to the anime, but i was unprepared at how clear they show tsumugi’s frown at the start. but then they have him smile for the performance and UGH the change in expression is so good but pAINFUL

this exchange piqued my interest but i didnt know what the details were exactly until i finished the whole mv and rewatched it again.

the somewhat bittersweet/sad expression on tsumugi’s face as he looked towards eichi. then immediately followed by eichi’s look of surprise as tsumugi turns to continue singing. now my thoughts were all over the place so i actually went and search for the lyrics video of Genuine Revelation on youtube to find the english translation

and apparently, this was the line they were singing; “The stars that can no longer shine will be annihilated”. Thankyou Nasumi Violet for their video (link sends straight to where they sing this line)

my brain is small for this i feel like this has an underlying meaning because of the contract and because this is their last performance but i feel like im reaching

the next part that interested me was eichi’s surprised expression, and i was thinking to myself, why’s the man surprised?

his eyes were kept on tsumugi’s in confusion/curiosity(???) so whAT’s happening why is this here happy ele whAT ARE YOU COOKING

so i decided to look at the other mv and went to the part where they sing the same line. you know just out of curiosity its not like they have the same movements or anyth-

oh. no wonder eichi’s surprised

obviously im not expecting them to do the same choreography because their stage is different here, but this action of having their hands reached out like that is definitely something they planned beforehand. so for tsumugi to not reach his hand out the same time eichi does, maybe eichi does have a reason to be a bit surprised. not enough to disturb the performance, but enough to be taken aback

makes it a bit interesting, however, that their duo line lasts for four bars, and their hands reaching out like that only comes on the second bar. However, tsumugi reached out for eichi on the first bar. a whole, 4 count bar before eichi does it (that is to say, the one in the animation mv, eichi’s hand reaching out was delayed slightly compared to the game mv but its basically the same thing)

its one thing to have their choreography be like that, camera angles and everything. but its another thing if eichi tenshouin is SURPRISED mid performance and thEY MADE THAT VERY CLEAR

i also noticed, at least for the game mv, that this was the only time tsumugi and eichi interacted onstage. the other 89% of the time, the two were apart with hiyori and nagisa between them, as if deliberately keeping them separate

so for tsumugi to not even have his hand out the same time eichi does, where its the ONLY time for them to interact onstage, on their LAST performance together makes it oh so painful

ignoring technicalities aside, its also like tsumugi cant bear to look at eichi for long. and eichi’s surprised expresssion while he reached out to tsumugi, who’s turned away from him, its like he’s watching someone slip away from his fingers, the consequences of his actions catching up to him and he’s not even realizing it

anyway they did amazing i cant wait for eccentric party night <3333

#ensemble stars #enstars #tsumugi aoba #eichi tenshouin #ive only known enstars since en release so in all honesty im not familiar with ! era stories #i do have the basic understanding of what happened thanks to the anime #and i now have elements to watch #i am not an eichiP or a tsumugiP #i dont even listen to fine or switch that much #but these two have me on a chokehold the entire time #its just so INTERESTING ok????#im speaking as a casual viewer but i could infer so many things just from this mv alone #fun fact i actually didnt watch episode 5 #im waiting for the translations but i went ahead on the mv #maybe this is normal information for some #but as someone that has the bare minimum knowledge of what happened during the war era #its truly fascinating to find details in the simplest thing like their change in expression #that tells a whole story within a manner of seconds #one of these days ill go check out the story itself but im enjoying taking my time with the lore #cant wait to over analyze eccentric party night once the animation mv comes out /hj #besides the pain the background change to a sunset is SO pretty #idk if its the sunset or sunrise but either way having the whole hand exchange happen during that makes me FEEL things

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male--byleth · 4 months

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Why is he staring at me

#go away. shoo #jm still sad the hd version of this songs mv got taken down.#i mean makes sense it had no age warning and the whole video was basically e.roguro BUT STILL ITS A HISTORICAL ARTIFACT

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coffee-without-anesthetics · 4 months

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i've done subs for ghost and pals before *is immediately hit by 20000 psychic damage points and passes out*

#that was back when youtube still allowed community subtitling #when you had you have a certain number of people check them as good to go without even the creator getting involved #what nice times those were. anyways #i think i still have a list of every subtitles i did or contributed to that have my (old) name attached #i have translated for longer than i remember...........whoag............................#so y'all saw that post of mine with stylized subs? caprice cast (dark pink background)?#that type of stuff was already around back when you had to have your subs approved by multiple people #so what subtitlers with them did is that they'd include an invisible line (invisible on the video itself but seen when checking)#that basically said “don't fuck around with these or they'll break”#and sometimes they Did break because people fucked with them!! like in mafumafu's “final declaration” mv!!!!#which now results in them having been stripped of special formatting but retaining their timing and it's fucked up entirely!!!!!!!!!!#information sharing over. hi to those who read this whole thing howre y'a;;ll #post anesthetics posts

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kashilascorner · 1 year

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favorite crazy kpop moments

- Shinee Jonghyun's Alejandro Sanz Cover Y si fuera ella

- the entirety of Catallena by Orange Caramel (from the opening screams to the sampling of a punjabi folk song down to the sushi concept and the maybe sapphic lyrics)

- Gangam style taking over the world

- the time Red Velvet performed for Kim Jong Un

Bonus: not crazy but what even was Super Junior covering Luis Miguel's Ahora te puedes marchar

#whatever the hell was going on with melania trump and minho of shinee #listen. there are more but these are on top of my head rn #i also just remembered about the shinee live internet war cover like man. that was something too #also move by taemin. that was just. yeah. it was. such a moment. so. well i just watched a shinee mv ok #blabla #also pink hot by exid. it's not even subtly about p*gging so #when a Hani fancam singlehandedly saved EXID and basically startes the whole fancam culture thing #ALSO the time the guys from stranger things were with exo and learned the love shot choreo??

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sanstropfremir · 2 years

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I don’t know if you’re already aware of them but I came across a group called TAN with their debut song du du du (they were formed out of a show called extreme debut:wild idol). I’m OBSESSED with the song for some reason and wanted your thoughts on the music video.

tan my second gen flop group reject beloveds......... you're obsessed with the song bc it's fucking GOOD that's why!!!! also i was not kidding they are hardcore channelling second gen with everything they've fucking got: from the song itself (r&b is decidedly not on trend rn) to the fact that the mv was filmed with $12 but they refused to use any location filming that would smooth out the rough edges to the prop based choreo to the STYLING!!!!!!!!! it is absolutely not reflected in the mv at all but all their music show stages are based around this black/white/gradiant duality styling that is soooooooooooooooo 'we have $8 and some pocket lint and a stray safety pin but by god we're gonna make this work' of second gen like my eyes blew out of my head every new stage i watched. like look at this!:

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if someone had told me that was from 120322 instead of from 220312 i would have wholecloth believed them. the only thing that gives them away is that there isn't enough eyeliner. the ONLY thing. and i'm not even joking this is not at all a one off, this was a dedicated intentional choice that they upheld for their ENTIRE promo period:

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but by far my favourite is 220326 music core where they have GRADIENT TUXEDOS!!!!!!! actually my other favourite is this gradient pink inkigayo stage, because obviously. it would have been so easy for their stylists to just slap some generic fourth gen type normal clothes on them (which to an extent they did do in the mv), but instead they really dug into this old style coordinating + themed outfits. the mv struggles a bit because there are a lot of ideas happening but see also aforementioned budget of $12. obviously companies wanna put out something big for a debut mv so i don't fault them there but i think they should have encorporated more of the opposites theme of the styling+choreo into the visuals of them mv itself. they could have done a lot more with light/dark imagery and with the umbrella in the choreo they could have gone for a gentleman/'kingsmen' concept that would have been a lot cleaner of a visual and also would smooth over some of the visual discrepency between the fact that one of the members first debuted TEN YEARS AGO and the maknae is still 17, and they can't really do the sexy second gen concept i think they were partially trying to go for. the gratuituous ass shot of taehoon was extremely funny though. you can do very stylized mvs for cheap (see my cheap mvs post!) and i think if they had done something similar to knk's sunset or even oneus' valkyrie (speaking of other insanely good debuts) where there's a heavy emphasis on lighting and camera angles and editing, it would have made much more of an impact. the less money you have to work with the harder it becomes to make maximalist decorated sets work, and sometimes you do have to sacrifice in some areas. regardless of that though i think their debut was success and if you haven't listened to the rest of their mini you should because all the songs fuck (i really hope we get a comeback from them because i want the second half of fix you so bad) and it's very pretty clear that they're all talented and have the vocal chops to back themselves up; see this acapella cover!!

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anyways i'll leave y'all with this parting meme that i made when they first debuted:

#kpop questons #tan w #tan #peep jaejun holding the younger members hands in the foreground of that acapella mv he knows what he is doing!!#they put him in the centre for a reason!!#jaejun 🤝 eunkwang in love poem: handholding the babies #i have been saying for years at this point that oneus is the closest anyone has got to filling vixx's shoes #and that's all the way down to being essentially a soft second gen reboot styling #valkyrie is basically what i would have expected the dududu mv to look like if i had only seen the stages #im saying this like valkyrie didnt cost like a million dollars i bet she was SO expensive #with that giant custom stage/lighting cube shape thing #oh maybe a better example would have been onlyoneof mvs. theyre really good at style #text #answers #by hook or by crook we're gonna keep u employed jaejun!!! third time's the charm!!!!!#i say that like he isn't employed as an actual producer lmao #the whiplash i felt when i found out he debuted in c clown. i cannot explain. like physical neck cracking happened #this poor mf has debuted in THREE groups and he's only a 97line. insanity #imo the english version of dududu is better than the kr version on the whole BUT it does not have jooan's sexy growl #so therefore they are equal. and no i am not going to talk about how it was my second most played song in march

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aemoonie · 2 years

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i don't think i've said this on main yet but i kinda am insanely disappointed by beatbox :(

#the song itself is really okay! BUT #the whole tiktok marketing was the worst idea sme could have ever gotten #to think they could have released those millions of tiktoks right AFTER the song was out and not before ???#basically spoiling the whole fucking song ??#watching the mv felt super dry bc i felt like i already knew the song inside and out bc it turned into this annoying tiktok sound for me #i hate how every media is turning to cater towards this fucking app like we get it please stop #the song would shined a lot more if they didn't just leak it as a tiktok sound smh #anyway glimo was superior i said what i said #( 💭 ) !

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chisatowo · 2 years

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I wanna draw unit swap vbs' online personas but also I kinda wanna have all of their online nicknames decided on first.... I know I want Kohane's to be K.O. but idk abt anyone else rn unfortunately 😔

#rat rambles #sekai posting #unit swap au #also idk if I should draw them in the artstyle Im imagining or not #I think I mighhhht be able to but the thin lineart could be a problem #kohane and akito designed them all together as a sort of back and forth kohane making a simple but distinct sillouette and then akito #designing outfits for tgem and then kohane stylising the clothes more then akito adjusting the stylisation and so on and so forth #theyre all based on animals because fuck you I can make them furries if I want to #I know that an's will be based off of deer kohane's hampster and toya's bunny but ngl idk what to do for akito's #thats the other big thing holding me back which is a shamr since I have detailed ideas for everyome else's dhekdhkfh #I also should design some of kohane's ocs since theyre also pretty important to their music since they have a few story song series running #basically an used to run their cannel by herself but after kohane make a fan amv of one of her songs she was like oh fuck yeah thats sick #so after that kohane would make the official mvs with said characters and they started turning it into a story of sorts #I say of sorts because up until the first story they actually werent very good on communication with eachother in this regard #thats why kohane started feeling more distant from the group and the project as a whole and started considering quitting #and the others also were feeling it too as akito and toya both felt a kind of imposter syndrome abt being there and an didnt know how to #bring up her ambitions of taking their music beyond the web to the others #dw they talked it through eventually and figured shit out and then kohane and akito designed the new sonas with the other two's imput and #they rebranded the channel a bit to include a lot more of their own personal passion projects and allowed the whole crew to have more of a #presense on the channel #this didnt like solve everything for them ofc but it was a big step forward for all of them #also their sekai is a night club btw not rly relevant but just thought Id say dhsjhdjd #initially their sekai has flower one and ia but they also get gumi soon after their first story #ia has a constant headache lol

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scarefox · 6 months

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Did I just have to see someone saying that Taemin is turning into an alpha male in the Guilty MV 😭

#when the whole vibe of the MV is basically nonbinary and androgyny

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song-tam · 1 year

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oh god loved you better. from the title it looks like itd be a love song but then you fucking listen to it and its about wishing you were kinder to your past self im so

#HOLLAND I LOVE YOU #the whole song is like. people hate you for being gay and who you are basically and you hate yourself for that too #but then you grow up and all of that leads to this very long jounrey of fucking loving yourself and im like not okayyy #AND THE WAY HE CHOSE NOT TO USE SYMBOLISM IN THE MV. the way he showed exactly what happened to him. the way its transparent #i fucking love this song i could talk abt it forever idc #roshan rambles

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lightsoutletsgo · 27 days

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flowers are a language of their own — mv.1

pairing: max verstappen x reader word count: 4.2k warnings: slight angst

four times max gives you flowers and the first time you reciprocate, a childhood friends to lovers oneshot this is basically inspired by gwen and for gwen 😭 @verstappen-cult once again thanking you for my max brain rot bc these conversations are just DOING something to me skskksjsj but MWAH! I hope you like it my love 🤍 happy reading! mimi

i. daisies; new beginnings, innocence, cheerfulness (age 6) You hadn’t been at your new school very long, having moved to the town recently. You’d struggled with making new friends, the new language making things even more difficult. But this had really ruined your day. Your bottom lip jutted out and began to wobble as you looked at your drawing you’d spent the whole morning perfecting before tidy-up time. What had once been a beautiful explosion of scribbled crayon colours across one page now lay in two halves. It was more than your poor six year old brain could handle and so you immediately burst into tears. Wailing and sobbing, your teacher hurried over to see what the issue was. Between gasping inhales and snotty sobs you pointed to your crumpled torn drawing. She picked it up and turned to address the class of wild six year olds, “Alright class, does anybody know what happened to Y/N’s picture?” Your teacher’s voice was gentle, “You won’t be in trouble but our friend is very sad so we need to apologise and make it right okay?” Your bottom lip wobbled as your sniffles quietened a little and a small voice could be heard from the back of the classroom, “I didn’t mean to!” A small boy stepped forwards, bright blonde hair with blue eyes and you glared at him. He looked down at the floor as he awkwardly scuffed his shoe against the carpet. The teacher approached him and crouched down, “Thank you for being honest Max… Can you come and say sorry?” He nodded and took the teacher’s hand as she lead him over to you, “I’m sorry…” His apology was accented by a slight lisp and you frowned, arms crossing in front of your chest. “Thank you Max, Y/N? Max said it was an accident and that he’s sorry okay?” You let out a slight ‘hmmph’ as the teacher straightened up at the sound of the lunch bell. Max was quick to run out of the classroom with his friends but you plodded behind the group, still sad about your artwork.

You grabbed your lunchbox from your locker and looked for a chair in the lunch hall. Spotting your favourite yellow chair you couldn’t help but gasp as your little legs headed over as fast as they could carry you. You sat down and opened your lunchbox, legs swinging under the table. You’d barely taken two bites of your sandwich before a boy approached the table. You looked up and saw Max standing there, his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry I broke your drawing.” Max did his best to speak so you’d understand. “‘S fine.” You grumbled, annoyed he was talking to you. Six year old you could really hold a grudge… His cheeks tinted pink as he removed his hands from behind his back to hold out a small bunch of daisies he’d clearly picked from the playing field. Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open. “Here, for you…” He took a step closer and you held your hand out for him to gently place the flowers in your palm. Your eyes looked at him and you noticed how his knees were slightly muddy and there was a streak of dirt on his cheek. You giggled and he beamed back at you, you suddenly felt very shy,

“D-do you want to sit here?” You patted the seat next to you, “We can eat lunch together?” Max nodded, racing off to grab his lunchbox. He dashed back and sat next to you, unzipping his lunchbag to compare the contents with yours. “Are we going to be friends Max?” He nodded enthusiastically, taking your hand in his, “Mhmm! Best friends Y/N! So you can call me Maxie!”

ii. yellow amaryllis; pride, happiness, strength, determination (age 18) “Smile!” You stood with your friends, taking pictures in your graduation gowns and giggling together. But your heart panged, something - or rather someone - was missing from your day. Your eyes scanned the hall, desperately looking for a familiar blonde head. Despite knowing he was currently halfway round the world at a Grand Prix, “Boo!” A hand covered your eyes and a grin spread across your face at the familiar voice, “Maxie!” Turning around, you jumped into his arms and he laughed out loud, “Easy there bug!” You could hear your friends and family laughing and taking pictures of the two of you behind you but you still didn’t pull away, too embarrassed to let anyone see that you had tears welling up in your eyes. “I didn’t think you’d be able to make it…” Max squeezed you a little tighter, “I left as soon as the race was over, there was no way I was missing this!” You pulled back and he wiped the tear that had slipped down your cheek. He let go of you and extended his arm towards you, holding out a beautiful bouquet of yellow amaryllis flowers, complete with yellow and white ribbons.

“Max,” you gasped “they’re so beautiful!” he nudged your shoulder with his, “Hey, you deserve it. They stand for pride, strength, happiness and determination.” “Determination” You spoke at the same time, finishing the sentence together. His eyes stared at you so adoringly, you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. The moment was broken by your parents urging you to stand together for a picture. “What a beautiful couple!” You heard a teacher say as they walked past, “Oh no we’re not-” “Me and him? No way-” Both you and Max spoke over each other, completely missing the knowing looks your friends and family all gave each other. You couldn’t help the fresh wave of giggles that overtook you as Max pulled you into his side. You could have sworn that for the briefest of seconds, butterflies took flight in your stomach but you quickly brushed it off, blaming it on the excitement of the day.

iii. - yellow roses; friendship | bluebells; comfort (age 22) Max couldn’t deny the way that panic flashed through his entire body when he answered your call and heard nothing but your sobs on the other end. “Maxie!” You hiccuped, “Y/N? What happened? Are you okay?” He stood up, not caring that he was interrupting an important team meeting. His alarm grew even more when your only response was to cry even harder. He looked back at the group of people sat around the conference table, “I’m sorry but it’s a family emergency, I have to go.” He raced down the corridor and poked the elevator button far more times than was necessary. “Talk to me bug… I can’t help if you don’t explain what’s going on.” “He cheated Max! I went to his place and he was in bed with my roommate.” Max felt a weird combination of calm and anger wash over him at the same time. Calm because he knew you were safe and anger because who the fuck did your boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, think he was? Fuck the elevator, Max headed for the stairs, wanting to get to his car and book a flight to you as soon as possible. “Oh Y/N…” “Said he only did it because he knew that I’d been cheating on him with you.” You heard Max scoff, “God he’s so fucking dumb Y/N… I never really liked him, you know that right? You’ve always been too good for him…” You heard Max sigh on the other end of the line and you curled up into an even smaller ball in your bed, pulling Max’s hoodie up even more as your nose inhaled the comforting scent of him,

“Can we move to facetime? Just wanna see you.” You choked out and he obliged, quickly filling your request. Max felt his heart breaking as he looked at you in your bed. “Hey! Is that my hoodie, bug?” You nodded with a sniffle as he did his best to cheer you up even just a little, “Traitor! You told me you didn’t know where it had gone…” A watery smile spread across your face. “Look, I’m gonna come see you okay?” You sat upright and stared at him hard, “Max Emilian Verstappen, you cannot do that! You have important meetings this week.” “Ooo full name?” He hissed through his teeth, “I am in trouble.” You shook your head at him, “You’re incorrigible.” “Big words we’re using today hmm?” You flipped him off and he laughed, “I’ll be there soon, bug okay?” You nodded and he smiled at you once more, “Just hang in there for a little longer.” He ended the call and immediately your smile dropped. In those brief few seconds you’d forgotten why you’d even called him in the first place. But now in the quiet of your apartment, the sad feelings crept up once more, smothering you and dragging you down.

You weren’t sure when you’d fallen asleep the night before, but the combination of the doorbell ringing and the knocking on the door jolted you awake. Rushing to the front door, you threw it open, still slightly disorientated from your rude awakening, “Hey bug.” “Maxie!” You felt wide awake staring at Max who now stood on your doorstep, a warm smile across his face. You immediately felt like bursting into tears once more and Max was quick to see that, pulling you into his chest and wrapping his arms around you as he rested his head on top of yours. “It’s okay bug,” you felt him press a kiss to the top of your head, “I got you.” He waddled with you in his arms, through your doorway and into the hallway to close the door and give you some privacy. As he held you, he felt his heart race a little, thinking how he would never make you or let you cry like that if you were his girl - wait what? Now was not the time to be thinking about those kinds of things! Max held you until your sobbing had quietened down again, “Sorry,” you sniffed all snotty and he just poked your nose and laughed gently, “It’s okay Y/N.” His hand gently rubbed your arm as he watched you take a few deep breaths to compose yourself, “Here.” He pulled a somewhat squished bouquet of flowers out of what seemed like nowhere, “Sorry, they got a little uhhh… too involved in the hug?” You let out a breath of laughter and took them from him, a finger gently tracing the petals, “Yellow roses? For friendship right?” Max nodded with a smile, “Yellow roses, because I’m always gonna be your best friend who has your back and bluebells because they’re comforting.” You couldn’t help the way your heart clenched hearing his words. It seemed that Max not only bought you flowers often but he even thought of the meaning of what he was buying. For some reason, the thought had those pesky flutters appearing in your stomach but you quickly reprimanded yourself and shook them off. You hadn’t even broken up with your ex for more than 24 hours yet, but here you were thinking about Max romantically? You shook your head, that was a line you could never think of crossing, no matter how much it seemed to be crossing your mind more and more the older you got.

iv. pink tulips; perfect love, affection (now) Now that you were living in Monaco, not too far from Max, movie nights were a common occurrence, with evenings being split between your apartment and his. Food would be ordered and wine would be drunk, movies would be played but barely watched as the two of you would end up talking into the night and continue long after the credits had finished rolling. If there was one thing you could count on Max for, it was his promptness and so when the clock read seven o’clock exactly, you knew it would only be a matter of seconds before you heard his footsteps down the hallway to your apartment. You were proven correct as Max let himself into your apartment, calling out as he did so, “Hey bug! It’s just me!” “In the living room!” You called back, smiling as he appeared in the doorway, holding something behind his back, “What have you got there hmm?” Max’s smile wavered for a second and you frowned, sitting up on the couch, “Max?” He exhaled and bit his lip nervously, “Maxie?” You tried again much more softly, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, “I’m about to say something and…” He sighed, “I just want you to let me finish okay?” You nodded confused as he came to sit next to you, holding out a bouquet of pink tulips as he did so. You felt yourself gasp as you stared at the flowers, admiring the pretty wrapping and how the ribbon matched the flowers. You wracked your brain as you stared, desperately trying to recall the meaning, Max always gave flowers with meaning. Appreciation? No, apology? Nope not that... No. It couldn’t be? Could it? “Affection?” You didn’t even realise you’d spoken the word out loud but a sharp inhale from Max was enough to tell you he’d heard you. Your eyes shot up to his face and noticed he wouldn’t even look at you, instead choosing to gently trace over the bouquet ribbon, “Yes.” His cheeks were pink and you could have sworn you stopped breathing. It was silent in your apartment. The only noise coming from the traffic outside and the thump of your neighbour as their work boots clunked over the floor before their door slammed. The noise pulled you out of your silence as you stared at Max, “What did you just say?” Max finally dared to look up as he gazed into your eyes, “Pink tulips, affection, perfect l…” “Perfect what?” There was no way he was going to say what you thought he was going to say… “Perfect love.” You stood up from the couch, immediately pacing back and forth as your hands started to fumble together, “Max…” You breathed, finally stopping to look at him sat staring at you. “Okay so this is the part where I need you to listen…” You let out a laugh of disbelief but said nothing as he swallowed, hands nervously rubbing the legs of his jeans. “I like you.” You froze as he continued, “I like you and I think I honestly have for a while… I know that this might not be the best time to tell you but I just can’t keep kidding myself anymore. The feelings I have for you? They’re not things I would be feeling if you were just a best friend to me Y/N. God I think I always knew it was you… From the day I ruined your drawing and then when I surprised you at your graduation… And then that horrific breakup,” You both winced, “I swore then that I would never let you cry over another man like that again. Because I wanted to be the only man that you had from then on.” Your lips parted as a nervous exhale left you. He stopped his rambling, panting slightly as he looked at you, “If you have anything to say, now would be a good time to say it…” You looked at him. Max, your Max. The boy that had been there for you through everything, your best friend.

“No…” You whispered out, your own heart breaking at your words, “I can’t…” Max looked absolutely crushed, “No?” His voice was quiet, “Why?” You shrugged, bottom lip trembling, “I can’t risk losing you.” Max scoffed, “Losing me?” “What if we break up hmm? You’re telling me we would be able to go back to being best friends like nothing ever happened? What if it doesn’t work hmm?” Max shook his head as your spoke, “You think I would say this to you if I didn’t think it would work?” “I-I… I don’t know!” You exclaimed as Max stood up, “You won’t even try?” “I’m too scared to Max…” He nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets as you stared at him, “I’m so sorry.” You whispered, “Me too.” he said before turning and walking out. The door hadn’t even closed behind him before you’d collapsed to the floor, your legs giving out. You’d never cried so hard because of him before. Not when he’d ripped your drawing, not when he'd surprised you at graduation, not even when he’d held you after your breakup.

You stared at the pink tulips as they lay on your couch, their bright happy hopeful colour taunting you. You stalked over to them and picked them up, heading straight to the trash, pulling your arm back to throw them away but you found yourself physically unable to do it.

i. flowers are a language of their own You weren’t sure whether it was convenient or not that Max had a double header after that conversation. Usually you would spam him while he was away and he would pick things up when he could. Often late at night in his hotel bed, a goofy grin plastered across his face as he opened your fit pics and food diary pics of the day, reading through your spam about work, friends and cute cats you’d spotted on the street.

But this time there had been nothing. From either of you. It had been strange and hurtful. You sighed as you checked your phone again for the millionth time that day, already knowing there would be no new notifications from him. Why would there be? The guy you liked had confessed to you and you’d broken his heart because you were too scared he’d break yours. Groaning you dropped your head to the kitchen counter, thumping your forehead against it a few times in the hope of gaining some sense of clarity. It didn’t work. You sighed and stood up straight. You were still kicking yourself for shutting him down so quickly. Yes, he was your Maxie, your best friend, but wasn’t that the point? He knew you so well, he cared for you and loved you, in whatever capacity. He would never intentionally hurt you. You couldn’t lie to yourself, there had been a continuous pull in your stomach and a slight ache in your chest the longer you went without talking to him. You knew if you could do the situation over again you would give a completely different answer. You didn’t want him to break your heart but now you had lost him completely.

Your head shot up as a plan began to form in your head. Grabbing your phone you looked up plane tickets for the country you knew Max was in at the moment. You knew things would be tricky without his help and you didn’t even know if it would work out, but for him you had to try. Selecting your seat you rushed to pack a bag, noticing how the now dry and dead tulips still lay on your bedroom vanity, the pink now much less vibrant and tinged with brown. Your stomach flipped and you hoped to god it would all work out. You knew which hotel the team usually stayed at when they were racing in that specific country and so after making a quick stop you headed straight there, planning to just wait until you were spotted by someone from the team who recognised you and took pity on you. You didn’t have to wait long as one of Max’s race engineers was exiting the building just as your taxi pulled up. Clambering out of the vehicle as you spotted him, he smiled and waved, “Hey! Didn’t know you were coming this weekend? Max usually says something.” “Ah,” you shuffled awkwardly, not wanting to give anything away about your strained relationship, “it’s a surprise!” His eyes widened and he grinned at you knowingly, especially when he spotted what you carried in your arms. “Well… Seeing as it’s you, I’ll give you his room number.” After obtaining the information you needed you thanked him and headed inside, getting on the elevator and pressing the button for his floor as you thanked whatever higher powers there were that so far the plan was working. As the bell dinged for your floor you gulped, a whole new wave of nerves and anxiety washing over you. What if he didn’t want to see you? What if he got angry with you and sent you away? But what if he heard you out? Oh crap, what were you gonna say?

Through your internal rambling, you had somehow managed to walk to his door and now you stood frozen. Unable to knock and unable to move. Swallowing the lump in your throat you knocked the door gently. You heard a crash and then a curse in Dutch came from inside and you winced. Oh god, if he was already in a bad mood… This wouldn’t help. The door swung open and a tired looking Max stood there. Dressed in cosy sweatpants and navy hoodie, no logos in sight but still fitting his team colours. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of you in front of him. “Y/N?” You gave the softest of smiles nervously, “Hi Maxie.”

You weren’t sure what you’d expected when you saw him. You’d thought about how he might yell or cry or get mad or slam the door in your face but you certainly hadn’t expected him to grab your arms and pull you into a hug, burying his face in your neck, “Fuck, I missed you so much I’m so sorry…” You sniffled, pulling back and looking at him, “Why are you sorry?! I’m sorry! I never should have doubted you-” “I never should have pressured you-” “You didn’t! I never should have jumped to conclusions about how things would end. God. It’s been so miserable without you…” You noticed his eyes growing tearful. “Here, come in.” He gently pulled you into the room and closed the door behind you. Your eyes swept the room and zeroed in on an object on his bed, “Is that my t-shirt?” You asked incredulously, mouth gaping at him slightly as he rushed to shove it in his suitcase, “N-no!” “Max Emilian…” Your voice was low, “M-maybe…” You gave him a pointed stare and he relented, “Okay yes fine it is.” He sighed, “I found it at my apartment that night when I got back and… I just… I didn’t have you and it was the closest thing…” He trailed off, sitting on the bed. You padded across the room to take a seat next to him, one hand gently rubbing his back, “I know Maxie… Me too.” His head rested on your shoulder and you inhaled shakily, it was now or never.

You looked back across the room at where your things lay in the entrance. You stood up and made your way over, picking up what you needed before turning back to him with your arms behind your back. “I’m about to say something…” His head shot up to look at you, “and I need you to let me finish.” You gave him a tearful smile and he swore he felt his breathing quicken as you practically echoed his words from a few weeks ago. You approached him and offered him the bouquet from behind your back. He stared at it for a moment before his eyes flicked up to look at yours.

“Red roses?” You nodded, unable to keep looking at him - partly shy and partly terrified of his answer, until he gently held your chin and tilted your head up to meet his gaze once more, “Red roses.” “You know what they mean don’t you?” “I picked them for a reason.” He stood up and gently took them from you, one hand sliding round your waist to pull you into him, “Baby’s breath?” “Baby’s breath.” You looked down, breathing your answer as his face got closer to yours. “Is this your speech then?” You let out a breath, “I figured I would let the flowers speak for themselves, god knows you’ve been doing it long enough.”

His lips were practically on yours and it took everything in you to keep standing as his next words were brushed against your lips, “Is this your answer then?” You nodded, “No schat, please… Let me hear you say it…” His eyes closed as he felt your shuddering breath, “Yes, Max. Yes, I want to try with you, I love you and that’s enough to tell me we should try-” Any further words you had were cut off by Max’s lips meeting yours. His grip around your waist tightened, the flowers sliding from his other hand to the floor as he gently cupped your face, thumb rubbing back and forth across your cheek. You couldn’t help the way you smiled against his lips and he laughed at the feeling, the two of you giggling and grinning between kisses like the lovesick idiots you were.

Red roses; declaration of love, Baby’s breath; eternal love.

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