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#the witcher

a high school au where jaskier is the new kid at a very small high school and geralt is that one kid that no one really talks to and everyone thinks is weird.

and jaskier, on his first day at the school, sees geralt completely alone and forces himself into his life. like, it’s lunch and he’s sat alone at a table outside, and he spots this pretty boy and walks right over.

jaskier always sits with geralt, not even knowing his name, and they just become really good friends. eventually, geralt starts answering jaskier’s questions, and jaskier learns so much about him.

but most importantly, he learns just how talkative geralt is. he tells full stories and discusses things in great detail. he infodumps history trivia and talks about sword fighting techniques.

jaskier also learns geralt has a car when he asks him out.

and jaskier learns that geralt knows how to kiss someone in a car when they kiss in his car at the end of their date.

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Nonnie my dear are you trying to murder me???


Originally posted by yennefer-de-vries

Geralt is huge! I picture him all dirty and sweaty coming to your cottage and he just looms at the door and just the sight of him is enough to set your heart racing. And there’s that moment of pregnant silence as he takes you in before he pounces and pins to the nearest surface.

He’s like a wild animal in need of release, tearing at your clothing while you struggle with his belt and breeches until he’s free and you can take him and it’s pure heaven even if it’s hard and fast and rough, your nails digging on the worn leather of his clothing, his grunts and growls filling your ear like music and you’re climbing to your ecstasy along with him.

When you two recover from the raw and desperate union, Geralt smiles at you much softer, peering your face with lingering kisses as you welcome him home. All he needs now is a bath, a bed and you.

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I don’t know why the lake loosing its “walking on water” properties after Geralt takes the sword is so funny, but it is. 

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Literally every other human being: STAY BACK, IT’S A SCARY WITCHER!

Jaskier, walking towards Geralt, ignoring the screams of horror around him: Scary, scary Witcher. Scary face. *boops Geralt on the nose* And so adorable. Charming. I like me a little danger. Excuse me while I follow you to the end of the earth.

Geralt: *confused and overwhelmed hmmm*

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Jaskier sleeping with married women is played for comedy, but it hits differently when your remember that even though it’s fantasy, there’s still the patriarchy, and the alternative is him deflowering maidens and skipping town the next day. What I’m saying is he’s an ethical slut.

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eldritch!jaskier moodboard

based on my au here

bottom left art by nottsuo on deviantart

tbh I just made this hoping it will inspire me to finish part 2 tonight. Jaskier in this au is based (very) loosely on Lovecraft’s Shoggoths.

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Would Anyone With Mod Experience be down to Help Mod an 18+ Discord Witcher Server?

I need some folks with Mod Experience to help me Mod and 18+ Witcher Server I’m working on creating. I’m a first time Mod and hoping to get some help.

I’m looking for:

  • Mods (4)- help me run the server when I’m not around, you can assign roles, add emojis, post in the rules/announcements channels, kick people if need be, manage channels, etc. I do need at least 1 person okay with running the non/dubcon channels (because I’m really not, so I’m gonna delegate it to someone who is). ((Role name is @Witcher in the server))

  • Assistant Mods (3)- in training to become Mods, should one need to back out or if the server grows and we feel we need another Mod. More in charge of the making sure discussions and channels are kept in order and abide by rules, but can also can assign roles and add emojis. EXPERIENCE NOT NECESSARY FOR THIS POSITION. You’ll be there to learn! I also need at least one person okay with helping run the non/dubcon channel (because I’m not and I always wanna have someone who is in the mod staff) ((Role name is @Apprentices in server))


  • 18+
  • Experience, unless applying for Assistant Mod Specifically

How to apply:

Either shoot me a DM on here, or HMU on Discord (Kestrel (They/He) #1792) Tell me your name or screen name, courage and pronouns, experience, of you’re comfortable helping with the darkfic server, and why you’d like to be a Mod/Assistant Mod Feel free to ask any questions as well!!

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