#the witcher and his bard

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Jaskier always finds a way to say I love you to grumpy Geralt who wants no-one 😏

#geraskier #the witcher #jaskier #geralt #he loves yellow 😉 #he will always say i love you #the witcher and his bard

[teatitty]

It's way funnier to me to imagine that Geralt is the one who desperately wants Dandelion to winter at Kaer Morhen with him but Dandelion keeps saying no on the simple grounds that it's too fucking cold and do you want me to die Geralt? Do you want me to get hypothermia and fucking die?

And Geralt's like "please I am begging on my knees I will cuddle you every night to keep you warm I just need to prove you actually exist"

#the witcher books #dandelion #geralt of rivia #gerlion #you know those romcom plots that are like 'I told my fam I have a bf and now they want to meet him so pls pretend to date me'? #this is like that except the reverse #geralt tells his fam he has a bestie who's a bard that cuddles with him at night and they all just #don't believe him bc it sounds so ridiculous #'it's okay to say you're just lonely geralt you don't need to Invent A Guy to convince us you're not' #'I DIDN'T INVENT A GUY HE'S REAL I PROMISE STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A PATHETIC WET DOG'

[spielzeugkaiser]

Lovechild AU idea: I would like to suggest adding Vespula and Radovid into the found family mix! Vespula has the aunt vibe of "I could never be mad at you sweetie, have a cookie, anyway, whAT THE FUCK JASKIER." (I know Yen probably has that role but the kid is allowed to have cool aunts) and Radovid probably bonded with him while he and Jaskier were dating, like out of all the people his dad dated, he's the stepparent he liked the most. Anyway, I'm just hashing out ideas bc I love those two and want to see our sweet baby boy interact with them!

[MASTERPOST] Oh gosh...

The thing is, I DON'T TRUST RADOVID AT ALL. not yet at least. So if he exists in this AU... they're not having a good time.

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier lovechild #radovid #omegaverse #if radovid exists in this in this universe it was in Mileks later years #before he meets Geralt #once he's 10/11 years old #old enough to get that he doesn't like at all how that guy is talking to his father #do I think Jaskier fell for Radovid for a while? yepppp #but in this 'verse the other shoe dropped #and it was not good #I did once again whump the bard I am so sorry #that's what my brain does on autopilot by now #simply whump the bard

[yeraskier]

feels really good to be a jaskier stan right now

#him getting his own plotlines?? #his popularity growing and us getting to see him get praise for being a bard??? #us FINALLY seeing that he gets bitches?? #him becoming his own person and not just a comedic device? #god i used to PRAY for times like this #the witcher #jaskier

[tielmamon]

im just here thinking what scene are they gonna have Jaskier sing this banger in. In a tavern with the people stomping and clapping, going fucking wild for him??? Are geralt and the others there to witness this???

will Yen/Ciri just turn to Geralt mid performance and whisper “Oh, he’s good.” and he’ll just smirk and turn back to Jaskier absolutely killing it and proudly say “I know.”????

I need these questions answered immediately

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #cirilla of cintra #yennefer of vengerberg #vibrating with excitement for s3 #sexy bard needs his moment #The ride of the witcher

[thelostgirl21]

One thing I really want to see happen in Season 4...

Valdo Marx: Nice to see you again, Joseph!

Jaskier: *Heavy sigh* That's -

Yarpen: *Stepping in front of him protectively.* Julian Alfred Pankratz to you, you dying sounding beached whale! Only his friends call him Joseph!

Jaskier: Ah, actually, that's Jaskier.

Yarpen: *Dismissively.* Yeah, I KNOW.

Jaskier: *Getting all teary eyed.* I know you do.

#The Witcher #Jaskier #Yarpen Zigrin #Their friendship is legendary #Valdo Marx #Their rivalry is a legendary #Does Valdo know Jaskier is a honorary member of a fierce dwarven mercenary company yet? #No but seriously I kind of headcanon that the reason Yarpen is so pissed at continuously being reminded that Jaskier's named #Julian Alfred Pankratz #Is because he noticed that Geralt and even Yennefer were calling him “Jaskier” #While Jaskier introduced himself to Yarpen using his whole freaking name! #Jaskier just wanted to be respectful and polite #Yarpen took it as a desire to put some emotional distance between them and imply he hadn't earned the right to call him by his #Chosen / preferred named #And then despite all they went through together on that mountain and claiming to be a friend #Jaskier still continues to insist on introducing himself using his full bloody name! #Like what does a dwarf have to do to get some familiarity and recognition of kinship from that bloody bard? #But then Jaskier puts his life on the line to help Yarpen's men... #And Yarpen realizes that Jaskier cares enough to take an arrow to the back (or to the lute at least) to keep them safe.. #He's not a warrior that revels in the rush of battle! #He's just a scared bard rushing headfirst into the fray just because he wants to help any injured dwarves #Even if that means potentially sacrificing himself... #So maybe human customs are weird... #Maybe Jaskier has been waiting for *HIM* to start calling him “Jaskier” and officially signal the start of a friendship... #Maybe that formal introduction wasn't a slight on Jaskier's part and that overgrown puppy of a bard has been waiting for Yarpen to finally #adopt him like an idiot! #And so Yarpen chooses to skip the formalities and go straight for “thank you JASKIER” to make it clear that he does consider him a friend.. #My Posts #My thoughts #In tags form

[patroclusdefencesquad]

also sorry the mental image of philippa having to go back to dijkstra and tell him she accidentally set radovid and jaskier up on a date is hysterically funny to me

#philippa : ok so don't be mad #dijkstra : what #philippa : i genuinely think this could be good for us! #dijkstra : what. #philippa : um. radovid met the bard. and they kinda had a meet cute. and now they're in his room listening to his love songs #dijkstra : w.h.a.t. #the witcher #the witcher spoilers #radskier #sigismund dijkstra #philippa eilhart

[ladyannemarie5]

Jaskier graduated summa cumme laude from the most prestigious university on the continent. He acts like a superficial and disinterested bard all the time, but from time to time he acts like what he is, a master of the 7 liberal arts: Grammar, Rhetoric, Logic, Geometry, Arithmetic, Music and Astronomy.

Geralt doesn't notice this until Radovid shows up.

Every now and then Jaskier would blurt out a nonsensical comment that usually isn't meant for anyone, other than Geralt with his great ear, to hear.

The prince, hears everything that comes out of the bard's mouth and it is surprising when he laughs at whatever Jaskier said to the bard's amazement. Most amazingly, Radovid responds with another nonsensical comment that makes Jaskier laugh.

Geralt looks at them with a frown. Jaskier stops his laughter and eagerly asks the prince if he has read the philosopher he was apparently quoting. Radovid launches into a story of how his private tutor forced him to read the philosopher and he subsequently became enchanted with the man's writings and read his work for his own pleasure.

The more they travel, the more that happens. It turns out that the apparent nonsense Jaskier occasionally spouted is actually quotes, references and facts from philosophers, poets, astronomers, mathematicians, etc., that he was taught in college or read himself. Radovid responds to each of them with charm and delight, because apparently, Radovid has read them all as part of his royal education.

Geralt is not jealous. He isn't. No matter what Ciri and Yennefer say. He just doesn't like being out of the joke, doesn't like both of them acting like others aren't there and having to listen to their academic conversations when no one but them seems to care.

He just doesn't like that Jaskier smiles like never every time Radovid quotes an old poet of yesteryear that no one but them has read, as if it's an inside joke, because there should be no secrets in their group. He also doesn't like it when Jaskier laughs so loud because that can attract monsters. He hates that Jaskier sits next to Radovid every night talking about boring books because they are mere humans and if something attacks them, then both will be in danger and Geralt will only be able to save one (cof cof Jaskier), it's simple strategy. And absolutely not jealous because the bard now asks the prince for his advice when he writes songs, it's just that was something that used to de-stress Geralt and now he can't sleep well anymore. It's simple comfort.

But it all finally goes to shit when Jaskier turns down Geralt's invitation to spend the winter in Kaer Morhen because stupid Radovid invited him to his castle on the coast where he apparently has the best collection of maritime astronomy on the continent.

Geralt spends all that winter stuck in the library of Kaer Morhen reading anything that might interest Jaskier other than bestiaries. He tries very hard not to think about his bard and the prince huddled in front of the fire looking up at the stars until late at night drinking wine, getting closer and closer and closer until…

No. He won't allow it. When he sees Jaskier in the spring, he'll be sure to casually mention everything he read in winter, he'll make a fool of the prince when Geralt shows his bard the ancient books he brought him from the Wolf school library (not that Vesemir needs to know what came out of his precious library).

He'll graduate summa cumme laude from freaking Oxenfurt if it means getting his bard's attention again.

#i love them sooo much #Jasker is a genius #i really believe Radovid is also a nerd #Geralt is jealous #Vesemir does not need to know that Geralt stole important books from the library for his bard. #the witcher #the witcher netflix #jaskier #radovid #geralt of rivia #radskier #geraskier #ficlet #bunny plot #ao3 fanfic

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 12

Geralt has a thing for biting. Jaskier has a thing for not looking like a mauling victim the day he performs at a very prestigious court. Geralt agrees he'll hold off on the biting for a few nights, so Jaskier is "presentable." But now he looks unclaimed. He looks like he has nobody that loves him and watches over him. Nobody that can bite him in the heat of passion. Geralt sucks it up and decides that he'll just have to come along to make sure nobody gets any ideas about doing anything to his bard. And so what if he spends most of the night staring longingly at Jaskier's neck like some kind of starved vampire? Who says you get to judge? *grumpy witcher noises*

#fanfiction prompts #geralt x dandelion #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #witcher fanfiction #the witcher #geralt loves his bard! #writing prompts #established relationship #odaxelagnia #Geralt's fangs #plot bunny #kinda spicy but still could be just some funny fluff #possessive geralt (but in a “i have witcher senses and am emotionally constipated” way) #(Not in a “If I see you talking to a single other person i'll kill us both” way) #a little possessiveness is hot #what can i say #i only dig my hole deeper when i reveal my next prompt idea is most likely one i had about werewolves #cant we all just be silly kinky weird queer freaks? #my target audience is technically myself

[carrottheluvmachine]

Jaskier: I'm starving! Geralt: You just ate. Jaskier: I'm wasting away! Geralt: You're fine. Jaskier: I'm dangerously underweight! Geralt: Your sides have fat rolls… Jaskier: :C Geralt, sighing: Fine. Here's a snack.

#i think i'm funny #geraskier #the witcher #chubskier #jaskier #geralt #geralt loves his chubby bard #will always encourage him to eat a snack #but he is being a bit dramatic #it's a game they play

[annmarcus63]

The first time Jaskier says it they're washing their clothes at a river. As always Jaskier is talking Geralt's brains out. The bard only says it to see if Geralt is paying attention “I love you.” As if one is commenting on the weather. The witcher, of course, is not listening. So Jaskier resorts to this strategy to know when it is convenient to be silent, when his witcher needs silence.  

"I love you. I love you and oh don't close my eyes to yours, my... sweet ? mmmh no, my dove... well your hair is white so...." but Geralt is lost in his thoughts even when he says he'll hear Jaskier's poetry, that ungrateful man! But Jaskier loves him all the same. 

He even whispers it in Geralt's arms, after a very satisfactory fuck "I love you" followed by the witcher's snores. Ugh! 

He even tries when Yennefer is there, flirting with Geralt with her indifference across the room. As always, Geralt's attention is on her, on her every move, and Jaskier is left like an idiot talking with Geralt, acting like he holds a small portion of him with the witch in the picture.

"I don't like it here, you know? That man, yes the one with the weird double chin, is looking at me like I'm a fine dessert, I sure am, but not for him. Only for you my dear, if you so want me. But no, oh no, you don't want me, at least not right now, you're not even here! You're there, yes! with your powerful, man-eater witch, she's a cannibal, dear, you should know that by now. But of course you don't care, you're not even listening! Why am I surprised? You'd not hear when I say that I love you, you bastard, or yes! there's a hole on your trousers right on your left cheek, we all can see everything, my darling, didn't take you for an exhibitionist” 

And then…

“I'm not, but this one was the only clean one.” Geralt says without taking his eyes from Yen. 

"That's not true, you have at least a spare pair of trousers. Wait... what?" Geralt huffs a laugh and the corner of his lips lifts in a mocking smile. So charming, the bastard. 

"Were you listening?" 

"I'm always listening, Jaskier." 

"Ha! that's not true, you see, I have a way of knowing..." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yes, but you wouldn't know it, because you don't always pay attention to me." concludes Jaskier like a petulant child. 

"This have anything to do with the last ten times you’ve said I love you to me at random times?" Jaskier's jaw drops like a fish out of water, panicking.   

"Did you listen all those times? Why didn't you say anything? you...you damn..." Geralt sighs and turns to the bard to cup his face in his hands, squeezing hard enough to crush the bard's cheeks. 

“Because I was looking for the right moment to say it back, but you're always ahead of me” Jaskier pouts and it's kinda cute. “Every. fucking. time”  Geralt growls after placing each one of the three kisses on the plump lips. 

"I love you, Jaskier" the bard huffs annoyed and frees his face form Gralt's grasp to say "yeah? well, I don't care, go to your witch, as you always does" 

"I love it when you get jealous” 

“What?!”

#geraskier #jaskier #the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #in which Geralt knows how to talk with his bard #he's not perfect you see but he's definitely better than Netflix! Geralt s1 #the witcher netflix #i love my boys #i'd never get over this ship #yennefer of vengerberg

[spielzeugkaiser]

Okay, I have watched Blood Origins and I will probably say more about it some other time, but.

I mean- I'M-

#the witcher #blood origin #the witcher spoilers #the witcher blood origin #Jaskier #eile #geralt of rivia #I drew this for meme reasons but I actually think they are adorable but- #I gotta go sleep and stare at a wall #blood origin writers said perfect couple is witcher and his bard AND I'M- #sleep now #tomorrow I shall come back to more prompts!

[teatitty]

Does it ever make you laugh that Ciri grew up reading Dandelion's poems and books and stories. She could name the titles of those poem collections. Do you think when she first met him she was trying to act super cool and chill but inside she was freaking out because holy shit that's the writer who changed her entire brain chemistry when she was 6 years old

#the witcher books #cirilla fiona elen riannon #dandelion #ciri: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR BARD FRIEND WAS *THE* DANDELION! #geralt who regularly forgets how famous his friend is: ah. lets not talk about that

[islenthatur]

A little idea where Vesemir and Jaskier are friends and basically Penpals over the periods where Jaskier and Geralt have to split for a) A tough hunt, his brothers need help or b) Jaskier has a bardic comp and or is summoned to a court... and well they just talk and share their frustrations about their Witchers and their idiocies.

Jaskier shares his exasperations and sends basically a novel to Vesemir about his lack self-care when it comes to hunts and what comes after. How Jaskier has to force him in a river when they're out, or actually out of the bath when they're at an inn... will also send him hidden messages about all the foods Jaskier has managed to get GEralt to eat to substitute stale bread and plain meats on the road.

He also sends in notes to Vesemir when he runs into other Witchers. Be they of the Wolf or not.

And Vesemir couldnt be more thankful that this human is looking after his boys and those who were left. That he has updates on them when they're out on the Path and it eases him, in return he sends letters detailing ingredients for balms and things that will aid the Bard on the path that wouldn't be deadly for him to make, he will also send exasperated stories of the boys and the chaos they cast over the winter that sends Vesemir crazy.

Those two bond and none of the others know until Jaskier is brought to Kaer Morhen and Jaskier's first words are.

"Ves! Now you have me to help you wrangle the pups!"

#jaskier dandelion #jaskier the bard #vesemir #kaer morons #the witcher #kaer morhen #the witcher fandom #Vesemir is so done with his boys #Jaskier is so done with his witchers #Jaskier & Vesemir #The Witcher #geralt of rivera #eskel #lambert is a lil shit

[thelostgirl21]

I've just gotta say...

The fact that Joey is the only actor we see near the entrance of the room just waving some people around and throwing kisses - more focused on greeting a "larger audience" than individually greeting his co-stars - is the most Jaskier thing ever!

Joey definitely picked Jaskier up on the side of the road on his way there, 'cause his inner bard is showing!

Seriously though, that video's focus is also like 95% on Joey/Jaskier...

So, here's Joey/Jaskier kissing and waving...

Here's Joey/Jaskier winking...

Here's Joey/Jaskier reading...

Here's Joey/Jaskier's singing and being a goof...

Hey! BTW we've got Laurence Fishburne this season, too! Yay! Big Hollywood name!

But enough of that! Here's yet more bard footage for you!

Do you see how precious that puppy of a bard is?

I mean look at him! Being all cute and bashful at being complimented/teased by his co-stars... Aww...

Oh! Right! We should probably do a Yenralt closing shot!

#Jaskier #Joey Batey #The Witcher #It's not a want it's a need... and Netflix obviously knows its audience needs more bard! #And they couldn't be more right! #Season 1 & 2 Jaskier couldn't even get his own poster and was more or less treated as a supporting character... #Look at him now walking in like he totally owns the place! #Also I absolutely love Yenralt BTW #I was just amused by how much attention they gave Jaskier/Joey in the video compared to everyone else... #My Posts #My Thoughts

[swan--writes]

geralt will tolerate tenderness, but he bites when he's had enough

jaskier finds this adorable, because he has no sense of self preservation

#and several new teeth marks #i just #actually i don't have to explain myself to you #the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #jaskier #jaskier the bard #is that a tag? #i refuse to tag jask by his full name #witcher headcanon #the witcher headcanon #cutagens