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todrokishoto · 3 years

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bnha boys x tickles

character(s): bakugou, deku, denki, kirishima, todoroki

warning(s): tickles, blood (nosebleed), swearing?

a/n: random idea i had. enjoy this hc/scenario thing while i work on some longer fics. p.s. i’ve never really written headcannons before so idk if i did it right lmao

B A K U G O U

mans isn’t ticklish

trained himself to tolerate it bc being ticklish is for the weak

won’t tell you that tho bc it’s a valid excuse sometimes ok??

like,,, let’s say you’re tracing mindless patterns on his abdomen right

the two of you are just lying on his bed in his dorm room

and while it might have been innocent enough on your part

he can’t help but be... flustered as your hand moves awfully close to the waistband of his pants

feeling his cheeks heat up, straight up refusing to let you see how much your touch affects him, he swats your hand away with a grunt

“that tickles, dumbass,” he huffs, his voice slightly strained. you pretend not to notice.

your eyebrows lift upward in surprise at his statement. not once had he ever mentioned he was ticklish. propping yourself up on your elbow, you let your eyes trail over his features, studying him.

his eyes are closed but only after mere seconds of feeling your gaze, they open back up. his crimson orbs stare into yours, neither one of you breaking the prolonged silence. you, frankly, didn’t want to. bakugou, on the other hand, refused to - fully aware his voice would betray him again.

he couldn’t believe he had just lied about being ticklish. but, letting you believe your soft touches had tickled him rather than admitting they made him feel things he know he shouldn’t seemed like the most logical option. yes. there was no way he’d reveal his less than innocent thoughts.

“what?” he grumbles, quirking a brow questioningly. “take a picture. it’ll last longer.”

you fish your phone out of your pocket, holding it up above him. “okay—”

your words turn into a squeal as he smacks the phone out of your hand and grabs your arm, pinning it above your head. he hovers above you, eyes full of mischievousness, his teeth exposed by the grin dancing on his lips. you stare back up at him, eyes wide, body tense as you attempt to gauge his next movements.

“how ‘bout a taste of your own medicine, huh? since you seem to find it so funny.”

and before you can protest, his fingertips dig into your sides, eliciting careless giggles from you as he tries his best to find your most ticklish spots.

K A M I N A R I

would tickle you on the daily just to hear your laugh

pls he’s a total sucker for your squealing giggles. they’re his favorite

this boy will find any excuse to tickle you; pinching your sides, blowing raspberries on your stomach while lying in your lap - you name it

one of his favorite ways is to use just a teeny tiny bit of his electricity, making the ticklish that much more unbearable

we all know his love language is physical touch, so he just can’t help himself really

but don’t even think about tickling him. boy will practically screm bloody murder and literally run away from you like a child running away from their parent when it’s time for bed

you’re bored. so bored, in fact, that you’re even thinking about purposefully provoking your boyfriend’s explosive friend just for some entertainment. you quickly scrap the idea, not feeling like being the target of his harsh words today.

your boredom quickly dissipates, however, as the yellow locks of your boyfriend come into view. he’s chatting animatedly with kirishima and sero, his back facing you. you put a finger to your lips as a pair of red eyes look at you curiously. luckily, the redhead understands and says nothing as you sneak up to the table they’re currently seated at.

“hey, babe!” you greet loudly, your voice dripping with fake innocence.

before he can turn around, your hands are at his sides, pinching and poking with all their might. an odd sound - something between a gasp and a grunt - escapes your boyfriend at the feeling and he flails his arms, desperately trying to escape your hold.

you underestimated just how ticklish your electric partner is, it seems. because before you can dodge it and sero can warn you, denki pushes his chair backward, knocking you over in the process. your boyfriend whips around immediately at the sound of your body colliding with the floor.

“oh my god, baby, i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean—” his apology trails off at the sound of your loud laughter.

you’re clutching your stomach with one hand, attempting (but to no avail) to silence your laughter with the other. denki rubs the back of his neck, eyes full of confusion, while he tries to regain his breath from your surprise attack. once again, he catches you off-guard as he crouches down next to you, his fingers finding your tickle spot with ease.

your laughter gets louder and he smirks. “not so funny now, is it?”

K I R I S H I M A

mans has a hardening quirk

aka he can just harden his skin, so tickling him is basically impossible

once in awhile, when he knows you just want revenge for the times you’ve been tickled by him, he won’t activate his power

but still, he barely chuckles, which makes you frustrated™

he doesn’t really tickle you on purpose that often tho bc that’s not manly

will tickle you accidentally while rubbing your arms or breathing on your neck while cuddling

you’ll squirm in his hold and he will just apologize with a laugh and hold you tighter

you sigh, shuffling ever-so-slightly, stuck within your boyfriend’s tight grasp. the two of you had been cuddling on one of the sofas in the common room, but he had succumbed to his exhaustion and had fallen asleep next to you.

normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. you had no issue being his pillow once in awhile and his cute, little snores made it impossible for you to wake him. today, however, he had fallen asleep in the crook of your neck and his soft breaths were tickling you. with every exhale, your body tensed as you tried your best to remain still.

“kiri,” you whisper, his nickname slipping past your lips with gentleness. “babe, wake up.”

he stirs at the sound of your voice, his breathing halting momentarily. you wait in suspense but he only buries his face further into your neck, a long breath fanning against your exposed skin. you squirm instinctively. your movements must have alerted something in him because he begins shuffling shortly after.

you can’t see his face but you can tell by his breathing that he’s slowly but surely waking up. you practically hold your breath, praying that he will move before you have to voice your discomfort. unfortunately, luck isn’t on your side it seems.

“kiri, i love you, but please move,” you plead, pushing against his chest softly. his red eyes are filled with confusion as he props himself up to look at you. “you’ve been tickling my neck for the past fifteen minutes. i was going insane.”

he pouts then. “aw, babe, you should’ve told me. you could’ve woken me up, y’know?”

“yeah, i know,” you sigh, rubbing your neck where his breathing had been just a few seconds prior. “i just didn’t want to wake you, is all. you’re so cute when you sleep.”

“you’re cuter,” he quips enthusiastically, poking your nose with his index finger. “okay, your turn to cuddle me instead. i’m not ticklish so lay wherever you want.”

M I D O R I Y A

i feel like this broccoli bean would be ticklish everywhere?

either that or he’s not ticklish at all

maybe his body’s been beaten so many times that his nerve-endings are either overly sensitive or they barely feel anything

idk™ BUT

sweet, freckled little izuku would also not tickle you without consent

we stan a respective king

he would be so careful to apply a little bit of a firmer pressure to not tickle you

sweetie had been to flustered to ask if you were ticklish when you first started dating and it was too late to ask now

you’re sitting next to him on the gras outside of the doors, relishing the feeling of the nice evening air against your skin. the two of you are chatting mindlessly. well, izuku’s doing most of the talking and you’re mainly listening, but you don’t mind at all.

his arm is grasped between your two hands as you gently trace the scattered freckles and scars adorning his skin. he had been so flustered when you had grabbed it, unable to will the redness away from his cheeks. you had only giggled in response.

izuku didn’t know why you seemed to be so fascinated by his scars. you had always asked questions about them, wondering if he remembered where he got them. always made sure to call him handsome on days where he was particularly bothered by the markings on his body.

he loved it. he loved you.

but as your continue to trace them, your touch featherlight, he can’t help the shiver that runs down his spine. he squirms, his hand clenching together and forming a fist. you take notice and halt your actions immediately. he turns to look at you, meeting your wide eyes.

“did i do something wrong?” you ask quietly, feeling the guilt claw its way to your chest.

“no!” he practically shouts, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. he clears his throat. “n-no, you didn’t. it’s just that... heh. i’m, uh, kind of sensitive in certain spots, i guess? and while i really don’t mind you touching my scars, you were so gentle and i-i just... it tickled.”

his chin tilts toward the floor, his bashful gaze flickering away from yours. you notice the pink dusting across his freckled cheeks but decide not to point it out, desperate to make your boyfriend feel at ease again.

“zuku, say that next time! i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to tickle you. i didn’t even know you were ticklish, to be honest.”

he rubs his neck, peering over at you once again. he grins sheepishly. “i-i never told you, i guess. usually, i’m able to resist the urge to squirm, um, like that.”

“you’re so cute!” you gush, grabbing ahold of his hand once again. “i’m ticklish too, y’know. but i’ll let you find my tickle spots on your own.”

and, for the umpteenth time that night, your boyfriend blushes as he thinks about exploring your body to find your very own tickle spots.

T O D O R O K I

we all know he had a shitty childhood fck u endeavor

he never had tickle fights with his parents or siblings when he was little

so poor bby probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish until you accidentally find his weak spot one day

let’s say you’re both cuddling in your bed right?? and things are getting a little heated

so,,, you detach your lips from his, placing a kiss on his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck

and let me tell you - this poor boy doesn’t know what to do

he tenses up immediately, slamming his chin down to protect his exposed neck, his jaw banging against your nose in the process

“y/n!” he calls out immediately, chest heaving, his body still tense as if on high alert. he reaches out to you when he spots you holding your nose, your brows furrowed in discomfort. “i’m so sorry. i don’t— are you alright?”

you nod, releasing a hum to confirm your response. your nose is throbbing, but when you open your eyes and meet shoto’s wide bicolored ones, your pain subsides quickly. poor boy looks so helpless - torn between reaching out for you and distancing himself.

“hey, sho, it’s okay. i’m alright,” you remove your hand clutching your nose to shoot him a smile but you stop midway, noticing the crimson liquid on your palm.

“you’re bleeding,” your boyfriend observes quietly, the guilt obvious in his voice. “i hurt you. i’m so sorry. i... what you did made me feel weird and my body just reacted. i, uh, i’m sorry.”

he scrambles out of your bed, reaching for the box of tissues he knows you have stashed in your desk. he hands you a handful of them, awkwardly lingering by the foot of the bed as you wrap the paper over your nose, clamping your fingers shut around it.

you shake your head with a gentle laugh. “sho, it’s okay. i didn’t know you were ticklish there. i can’t really control what my body does when i’m tickled either, so i don’t blame you.”

“ticklish?” he repeats aloud, almost as if testing out the word.

you nod, the innocence of your boyfriend once again surprising you. you feel your heart ache slightly at the thought of him not knowing what the action is. had nobody ever touched him enough for him to find his tickle spots?

“yeah. most people are ticklish somewhere on their body. usually either on their waist, their armpits, feet or neck - like you. it’s normal. typically, when people are touched where they’re ticklish, they’ll squirm and laugh.”

he nods and you remain quiet as he processes the information. then, much to your bewilderment, he leans forward and grabs ahold of your side with his fingertips. he pinches gently and you jerk, narrowing your eyes at your boyfriend smiling harmlessly.

“so, is that your tickle spot, then?”

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meltwonu · 3 years

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| 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔦 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 | [CHAPTER 4]

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x reader

this chapter’s notes; fratboy!wonwoo, fingering, littlest bit of dirty talk, praise!kink, soft soft soft FLUFF hours, a bit of a filler chapter before the last chapter!! 😭 I can’t believe it’s almost ‘over’... This chapter has the least amount of smut yall will ever see with fratboy!wonwoo so don’t get used to it ☠️ LMAO 🤣🤣 also... it’s been a garbage week(boring work drama) for me so I’ll answer inbox msgs and stuff on sunday, I need to get away from the internet(and people) for a day dkfjhskh 😭💕 Ya’ll thank you for so much love and support with Caffeine and Until I Met You! It means so much to me and I appreciate every like, reblog and comment I get on it 🥺💕 No I will never be ending my fratboy!wonwoo au so don’t worry about that hehe 💕 For now, enjoy this soft ch 4 and I will see yall on Sunday! I love you, have a great weekend! 💕

[mood for this chapter: more than enough - alina baraz]

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - x

“So…”

Wonwoo sighs - re-shelving another Edgar Allen Poe book. “So, what?”

Mingyu tilts his sunglasses down, eyebrows raised at the older male that continues to do his job instead of give him the time of day. “What’s going on with you, hyung? You’ve been… weird.”

“Okay, define weird.”

The younger male pouts as he takes his sunglasses off, pocketing them as he leans up against the bookshelf that Wonwoo is currently still shelving.

It only takes one utterance of your name for Wonwoo to stop in his tracks - fingertips on the spine of another book as he turns to Mingyu. “What about her? Did she say something to you?”

“No, but do you like her? I mean, ‘like’ like her.”

“Is it not… obvious? That I do? Did we not all collectively have that conversation about me giving her a set of keys to our house?”

Mingyu grimaces slightly as he mentally goes through all the times he’d even seen the two of you together and he’s only able to conjure up a few select memories - none of which were anything necessarily romantic. “Well… I wouldn’t say ‘obvious’, I guess. The two of you aren’t exactly the ‘kiss and hold hands in public’ kind of... people. More like the, ‘sneak off to fuck in a public restroom’ kind... Which, uh, isn’t really... romantic.”

This time, Wonwoo crosses his arms and leans up against the opposite bookshelf as he sighs.

It’d been a few days since he’d seen you and you’d been swamped in so much class work that you didn’t even have the time to come by the library or the frat house. And even while Wonwoo stood in between the bookshelves having a conversation with Mingyu, you were finishing an art project with Minghao that was due by the end of the day.

“I know. I told her it’d be kind of a slow crawl for me.” He plucks another book from the cart, staring at the glossy text as he simmers in his thoughts. “Mingyu, am I awkward?”

“Erm, well, I wouldn’t say that necessarily.”

Mingyu steps forward, patting Wonwoo on the shoulder as he smiles.

“You like her and you’re trying even if you’re not used to it. You gotta start somewhere, hyung. Even if you’re a fish out of water. But that’s okay, you can ask me for help if you want!”

“When are you gonna put a ring on Wonwoo-hyung?”

You snort at Minghao’s question - reaching for a clean paintbrush as he stands across from you in the large, empty studio. “First of all, can you not say it like that? I’m not gonna marry him, okay.”

The male rolls his eyes as he steps closer to you; his own hands and clothes covered in a colorful array of paints. “So you’re saying you never imagined hyung in a suit, hair slicked back and his buff arms carrying you off into your honeymoon?”

“W--wh--n--no! No, I haven’t!” You avoid his piercing stare as you focus on your end of the large canvas instead.

No, but I dreamt about it once.

“‘Hao, would you hurry! We’re supposed to be collaborating on this and it looks… like it’s 5 different art styles.”

“Don’t change the subject on me. And anyway, I like what you’re doing to hyung. Breaking him out of his shell, y’know? He’s just shy, that’s all. Needs a little work in the bold department.”

You bite down the urge to laugh because to you, Wonwoo was everything but shy when it came to the bedroom. Although, Minghao was right with everything else. “Yeah, I know. We went for breakfast together after I, um, stayed over a few nights ago and he kinda just sat there zoned out, picking at his waffles. He’s really cute when he wakes up in the morning though. Pouty and whiny.”

Grinning at Minghao, he pretends to gag in response before taking a seat next to you.

“Disgusting. Tell me more.”

Wonwoo makes an effort to check in with you throughout the day before he heads back to his room - asking you if you’d had your meals and if you’d finished your project on time.

You’d answered sporadically as you and Minghao raced to finish.

‘I’ll eat late probably… rly gotta finish or else my ass is failing lol’

‘Just don’t forget, okay? It’s not good for you to skip.’

Wonwoo lays down in his bed; yawning as he sets his phone onto the nightstand next to himself.

His eyelids feel heavy and he’s quick to give in to the tiredness that takes over him once he gets comfortable.

When Wonwoo finally decides to shift during his nap, he finds it difficult and extra warm.

“Mmh…”

His bleary eyes adjust to the, now, slightly darkened room as he makes out your figure tucked underneath his arm. He calls your name softly - waking you up from the nap that you’d apparently joined him in.

“Mmh… Wonwoo…” You snuggle in deeper, voice still laced with sleep. “You didn’t even budge when I came in…”

He chuckles softly as he readjusts to spoon you from behind instead; his strong arm wrapped around your waist to keep your body flush against his own.

“I’m surprised you came by, sweetheart. I would’ve just stayed awake had I known you were coming over.” His voice is groggy and laced with sleep as you sigh softly in return as you blink away the sleepiness.

“How was your day at the library? Miss me yet?” Wonwoo smiles into your shoulder before he tilts his head up to kiss the shell of your ear.

“Always, sweetheart. Although, Mingyu decided to keep me busy today.”

“Oh? Anything fun?”

He plays with the hem of your shirt, “Well… Fun isn’t the word I’d use to describe what that was. Nosy was more like it.”

This time you can’t help but snort in response. “You too? I think some people were being ‘lil moles today.”

“Wouldn’t doubt it. Did you end up just coming back here with Minghao from the studio?”

“Wasn’t planning on it, to be honest but… S’been a rough day.” Placing your hand over his arm, you squeeze slightly as you pull his arm around you tighter. “Our professor came by while we were working in the studio and said our project wasn’t up to par with what Minghao and I usually submit for projects. She didn’t fail us on the spot but she said we need to redo it for less credit or take the failing grade.”

Wonwoo nuzzles your neck; peppering small kisses on your clothed shoulder. “I take it the two of you are going to redo it?”

“Mm… We spent so long coming up with a concept and now we’re both stressed about coming up with something new. I walked over here with ‘Hao and he locked himself up in his room as soon as we got here. Figured I’d come hang out with you and found you napping… With your glasses on, no less.”

The two of you share a laugh; Wonwoo’s embrace making you feel more at ease.

“Can I help you de-stress a little, sweetheart?”

You stare at the opposite wall, nodding gently as Wonwoo’s hand leaves the hem of your shirt in favour of the waistband of your shorts.

“Just want you to feel good,” he whispers. “You deserve it. You’ve been working so hard, baby.”

He teases you softly; fingertips ghosting across your skin as you shiver. “Ah, Wonwoo…”

“You worked extra hard today too, didn’t you? I’m so proud of you for what you accomplished today.”

Your body heats up at his praise and you can’t deny that his deep, soft voice sends thrums of arousal pouring over your body just as he dips his hand into your lounge shorts. He touches you over your panties - fingertips ghosting against your mound as you moan his name shakily in return.

“I know your new idea is going to be great, baby. I believe in you.”

Soft whines threaten to spill as Wonwoo strokes you over your panties - slowly working you up as you find yourself trying to grind against his hand. “Y-yeah… ‘m p-pretty sure ‘Hao’s already working on it…”

Your voice is barely above a whisper as Wonwoo continues to stroke you gently; making no efforts to rush or add pressure to his feather-light touches.

A disappointed noise falls from your lips when he starts to pull his hand out of your shorts but it quickly turns into a content sigh when he starts teasing your chest instead.

“Mm, so soft…” Muttering against your shoulder, his eyes stare off into the dark room as he massages your body. “And all mine~”

You hum in response, “We should go on a date sometime…”

“You want to? We can go this weekend. After you’ve redone some of your project. I’ll take you somewhere nice for a job well done.”

You giggle softly; images of a wedding day’s Wonwoo dancing in your mind after the conversation you’d had with Minghao earlier. “I’d like that. We should do something for the whole day.”

“Whatever you’d like, baby.”

Wonwoo’s hand flits down your body again - snaking into your shorts and, this time, into your panties as you whine. “Do you wanna cum or go back to sleep, hmm?”

You ponder it for a second as the drowsiness equates the urge to cum on his fingers.

“Both? I wanna cum and then sleep a little more... If that’s okay?”

Wonwoo hums in agreement as his fingertips drag through your folds - collecting the wetness on them before he teases your soaked hole. “Only a little teasing gets you this wet, hmm? So cute.”

“Ah, f-feels good when you go slow t-too...”

He stores that away in his head for later; chuckling against your shoulder as he slowly starts to dip his middle finger into your cunt.

You feel warm and content when he starts a slow pace - thumb on your clit rubbing soft, slow circles while he pumps his finger into you.

“O-oh, Wonwoo...”

“You’re always good for me, baby. Always such a good girl.”

“Ah, Wonwoo...”

“You can cum whenever you want. You deserve it.”

He adds his index finger - thrusting both fingers into you as you mewl and arch away from his warm chest. Your toes curl and your thighs clamp and trap his hand between your legs as you start to grind down onto his nimble fingers.

“...W--Wonwoo...”

“That’s right, baby. Call my name, let me hear your pretty voice when your cumming for me.”

You turn your head - cries muffled into his pillow because despite his slower than usual pace, you find yourself already on the brink of cumming with his fingers knuckle deep inside of you and his thumb on your clit.

“Mmh... Ah... Feels s-so warm... and g-good...” You mutter, eyes blinking drowsily. “Gonna c-cum...”

He doesn’t say anything in return as he focuses on you and your pleasure; fingers scissoring and curling right into your g-spot as you clamp down onto them in a vice grip.

Wonwoo knows when you’re about to cum when he feels your hand coming down on his forearm, holding onto him for dear life when your orgasm still hits you just as hard.

“Ngh, Wo---Wonwoo!”

Your walls flutter around his fingers and make it harder for him to thrust them in and out with how tight you get.

“That’s my good girl. Cum for me, baby~”

His deep voice makes you whine - nails digging into his arm and body trembling as the pleasure steadily washes over you.

“Ah, bet your face is so pretty right now too~”

“Mmh, s-stop...” Your cheeks burn in slight embarrassment from his constant praise but you can’t deny the way it goes straight to your core and only prolongs your orgasm.

“Don’t be so shy, baby. It’s only you and me here.”

Wonwoo leans away slightly to kiss the crown of your head - still working you through your orgasm as you sigh contentedly in his arms.

Various thoughts run through his head in the moment, but the one that sits at the forefront of his mind is definitely how to make sure he kept treating you right.

Starting with your date that he would spend time meticulously planning.

‘Ah, I should ask Mingyu for some advice.’

#wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen fluff #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #wonwoo fic #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #uimy_meltwonu

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

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actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

#not shifting #shitpost #out of context #tw cannibalism #tw stealing #tw poison #tw swearing #tw: drugs #tw: smoking #tw: death

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sneezefiction · 4 years

Text

“okay, fine!”

Bokuto x Reader - Scenario

event request: “congrats on 600 #10 and Bokuto pls?”

a/n: something about moody, high school Bokuto really just gets me lmao. i love his sweet (sometimes ditzy) self so much. hope you enjoy some fluffy, unconventional confessions! <33

warnings: none!

wc: 1720

---

“Are you gonna stay mad at me forever?” You say, exasperated.

The fluorescent lights are switched off, but the classroom isn’t completely dark. It’s illuminated by open windows and a pale, cloudy sky. Your hand rests loosely on your hip, the other arm hanging limply by your side awaiting his response.

The gloomy boy stays bunched up under the school desk, feet planted and eyes downcast, only giving you a dejected nod in response.

You let out a defeated sigh, your own head drooping in mock despondency. You hope he notices your reaction, but if he did, he doesn’t allude to it.

His golden eyes stay fixed on his shoes.

This would be harder than you thought.

You were used to Bokuto’s antics and aggressive mood swings that caused you to relentlessly chase his thought process until you figured out the issue. With a little prodding and finagling, plus maybe some advice from Akaashi, you could transform his pout into a blossoming, spring glow. His smile would return in a matter of hours to minutes.

But this was different.

He hadn’t smiled, spoken to, or so much as glanced your way in almost an entire month.

Bokuto was constantly groaning with his face squished between his hands, regularly sulking in the halls and gym, and to top it off, avoiding you at every twist and turn.

You could hardly put a finger on it and to say it made you uneasy would be an understatement.

You missed his snuggly bear hugs. How his lopsided grin always greeted you before any words could. Hell, you were even beginning to miss that horrible, “Hey, hey, heyyy!”

But clearly something was off… and it seemed to be directed at you.

The silent treatment is about to tear you up inside with worry, so it’s about time you confronted him.

Taking baby-steps, you slowly make your way up to his hiding place under the desk. Not trying to cross a boundary, you place a shy hand on the cold, plastic table-top, bending your knees into a squat so that you could be eye-level with the moping boy.

But now that you’re up close, you can tell that this isn’t any normal sadness.

You already suspected there was something more going on, but it’s clear now:

He’s actually hurt.

So you let yourself sink gently into a crisscrossed position in front of him, allowing your hands to fall into your lap for a moment before assessing the situation.

As one of Bokuto’s closest friends, you know that physical touch is a good start to any important conversation. So you reach out, being careful not to scrape your hand on the underneath of the table, and tenderly card it through his hair. For how spiky it looks, in all your life you’ve never felt something so soft and silky.

The sensation, though by your own doing, causes you to flush. But this isn’t about your feelings right now. No, this is about the troubled boy in front of you.

The glide of your lithe fingers in his hair finally compels him to glance up at you. Bokuto can’t help but lose some of his despondent edge as your devoted gaze receives his doleful one.

With a hand still slowly brushing his hair back, a heavy weight lifts off of your shoulders at the sight of his expressive, round eyes. You let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding in. The guilt of not knowing what you’d done wrong had been piling like bricks on your chest, so it’s about time he at least shows you his face.

You muster up that sinking question. One he’s avoided for a month now.

“Bo, won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” You coax, your voice delicate and cautious.

Another shake of his head. It’s childish. Silly. But you know it’s genuine.

So you press on,

“I’m joining you down there, okay?” You state quietly, but resolutely.

You awkwardly shift under and into the tiny space. He scoots over, but only just enough that your knee is overlapping his thigh and so that your arm is snugly propped up against his. He doesn’t say it, but every fiber of Bokuto’s being is itching to swallow you up in a 2 hour long, all-consuming hug. He wants to touch your soft skin and laugh gleefully at the sound of your heavenly voice. To breathe in your intoxicating strawberry-chocolate aroma that makes his heart skip a beat.

But how can he do that if you’re not his?

You’re his best friend, but according to Akaashi, best friends don’t typically hold hands and smother each other in devoted, verbal love letters and tears of adoration. Or at least, most best friends don’t.

The reality crushed him.

He hadn’t realized it until a month ago, but Bokuto has been unknowingly pining after you for years. He wondered why his pulse raced at the brush of your hand or at one of your signature, teasing smiles. Why he wanted to pick you up and spin you around until you were both left breathless in each other’s arms. Why others taking up your time and attention had him pouting and emotionally charged. Why he needed to know everything about you, from your favorite color to the name of every single pet fish you’ve owned.

And then it clicked.

Or, well, Akaashi informed him that his actions and desires were likely due to his “crush” on you.

But that’s beside the point. He couldn’t spin you around in circles. Or press little kisses to your palms and temple. Or hold your smaller hands in his larger, warmer ones.

He realized he couldn’t do these things… because you aren’t his lover. And the thought of you finding someone else who would do that for you simply crushed his sweet soul.

And of course, if you liked him, you would’ve said something already, right?

But at the brush of your fingertips on his palm, he jolts upright. He instinctively encloses your hand in his palm and turns his head to soak in your features.

“So will you tell me now?” You’re fighting the crimson color that’s sneaking it’s way onto your cheeks, grasping his fingers a little tighter in the process.

And he can’t suppress his true nature any longer. Because, yes, Bokuto has mood swings… but a month-long breakdown is too much for his already addled brain and he is sick and tired of burying his feelings under a pile of uncertainty.

“Okay, fine!” He groans, snuggling his head into your shoulder.

You stiffen.

First, he ignores you for a month and now he’s back to his sporadic, cuddly tendencies? Were you ever going to be able to get used to this? But before you can relax into the touch, he follows up.

“The thing is… I like you y/n. No, wait, scratch that, I think I love you...” He explains, babbling almost casually, not recognizing the substance of his words.

Your eyes are wide and mouth agape. To most people, this would be the time to acquire an answer. To either receive or reject. Yet he gives you no time to process the confession, continuing in an almost... frustrated manner.

“But the thing is, you don’t like me! Which means I can’t treat you like I’m your boyfriend and go on fun dates and stuff. Y’know like amusement parks and arcades and coffee shops or-”

“Bokuto, wait a second, please, what?” You shuffle away from his touch, your hands firmly set on the ground beside you to steady yourself, facing him head-on.

“Yeah, I know right? This sucks. I only realized I liked you this past month when Akaashi-”

“Bo, stop talking,” You beg, trying to get a flustered word in.

“-told me that wanting to kiss you probably meant-”

“Just let me say something please!” You try to cut in, this time waving your hands frantically to get him to stop.

“-that I liked you. Oh, sure, go ahead.” For someone who’d been moping around for so long, the bubbly attitude that resurfaced had your head spinning. But the confession? Oh, that did it.

Your entire face is a delicate portrait of roses and deep scarlets, reaching up to your ears.

It takes a few seconds to fumble through your muddled thoughts, grasping for some semblance of a response. This… no, Bokuto is overwhelming. But you settle on the most important part of his bizarre confession.

“Who… who said I didn’t like you back?” You question, trying to keep yourself composed, but failing miserably.

He stays silent, processing your words as though they were some test question he hadn’t quite studied for. His eyes blankly scan the room, searching for the answer as though it would show up on the classroom walls.

Finally, Bokuto tilts his head,

“I don’t know.” He states plainly, full of confusion,

“How could I know that?”

“Bo, exactly.” You explain, slowly pulling yourself out from your wary position.

Bokuto’s face is devoid of any understanding.

And, once again, you sigh.

He’s painfully unaware of your feelings. So, of course, you would have to be the one to make the first move.

But that’s okay because Bokuto is hopeless if not for physical demonstrations and perfectly clear explanations.

And you opt for the physical, once again.

You draw yourself toward the wide-eyed boy, still managing to keep your head ducked underneath the desk, and grasp one of his calloused hands. He looks down at the contact, baffled. You gingerly lift the other hand, tilting his chin up to meet your warm, cherry-tinted face.

He smiles but still hasn’t taken the hint.

You roll your eyes comically before leaning in with a sweet smile on your lips.

You take his lips into yours, cautiously sneaking your hand back behind his head to pull him in slightly. Bo’s reaction time intellectually may not be something to brag about… but physically? He already has you pulled into his firm chest, grinning into your unexpected kiss.

You can’t help but giggle as you pull away from your unsuspecting best friend, soon to be boyfriend.

Because this action expresses one minor detail that Bokuto may have forgotten to consider, which wordlessly states,

“Dumbass, you never even bothered to ask me if I liked you back.”

---

tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @kaidasen, @miss-rin, @shou-kunn, @senkuwu-chan, @super-noya, @stcrryskies

(comment or send an ask to be added to my general tag list)

#haikyuu #bokuto x reader #bokuto #bokuto kotaro #bokuto fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq #hq scenarios #hq imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #bokuto scenario #bokuto imagines #bokuto fanfiction #bokuto headcanons #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuucreations #sneezefiction

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consumedkings-archive · 3 years

Text

WITCHING HOUR, a john seed/deputy fic. chapter twelve: the desire to devour

word count: ~10.3k rating: m warnings: naughty language, .000002 seconds of spiciness (but not really), john goes "we were vibing, right? we had the vibes? right?" for like the entire last half. also mentions of self-harm and elliot's previous trauma. notes: hi friends! i hope you enjoy this chapter! this is going to be the last sort of in-between chapter before we really get into it, and from here it's going to go faaaaast. i had a lot of fun writing it and feeling out these different dynamics. not to mention john being a gigantic fuckhead (but like what is new, lmao). special thank you as always to my wifey and beta reader @starcrier for your impeccable eyeballs, and also to @vasiktomis and @shallow-gravy for lending their eyes as well because i did fuss a bit with this chap. i would be lost without y'all. thank you everyone for your love and support, esp with comments! it really fills my heart so so much to hear back from you, and i am always in the market for friends so do not be afraid to reach out to me <3

She is twenty-five.

She’s twenty-five, and it's her first full day of work. Or, it was; now, she's sitting in the Spread Eagle listening to Pratt talk about everything that's happened while she's been gone, because he'd said, c'mon, let me take you out tonight. He grins a boyish, toothy grin at her—the same kind that's mimicked in the multiple school dance photos her mother covets—and tries to sound nonchalant when he asks how she liked being in the city.

It's hard not to think about how this is the first place she had ever met John Seed, then-Duncan, and how it feels like it's spoiled the whole place for her.

Elliot redirects her attention as best as she can to what it is Pratt is saying. He's fishing for information. They've always been each other's safety net, the person they can fall back on when all else fails. School dances. Picking partners in class. Graduation walking buddies. He'd driven her to the airport when she left for the Academy, even. But even though she knows he's trying to figure out if she's still a safety net, Elliot can't disguise the way thinking about Mason makes her feel—disgusting—so she brings the beer bottle to her mouth and takes a swallow.

The result is her face scrunching up. Pratt laughs.

“Geez, Elli, slow down,” he says, his smile crinkling at the corners of his eyes. “Bet money you're still a lightweight. When'd you start drinking beer, anyway?”

“I didn't,” she manages out around the taste, swallowing thickly. “I just won't let your money go to waste.”

He shrugs, as if to say, could, if you wanted, and swivels on the stool a little. He wants to press again—she can tell—but seems to have the good sense not to, instead busying his mouth with his own beer.

“Mama said Whitehorse let you right on,” Elliot says casually, trying to ignore the twinge of envy in her voice.

Pratt shrugs again. “He's known my dad a long time.”

“Known my mom too,” Elliot replies, dry.

“Yeah, well.” Pratt pauses, and sounds a little smug when he says, “Just because your mama likes me doesn’t mean I don’t know how she is to everyone else.”

“Likes you, does she?”

“Obviously,” the brunette replies confidently. “She still keeps all those photos of us. Remember senior year, she had all of her gal pals over when we were getting ready for prom—”

“Ugh.”

“—took us about 45 minutes before we were exactly where she wanted to take pictures—"

She rolls her eyes. Pratt grins, and then bumps his shoulder against hers. He says, “Aw, c’mon. Not so bad, is it? Having your mom like me?"

Elliot can feel the flush spreading under her cheeks. Not because she's embarrassed, or flustered, but because the beer sitting in her stomach feels rotten, and because Pratt's looking at her with the same kind of eyes he did before—always, always there's the before—and she doesn't know how to say I'm not her anymore, I'm not that girl, I'm different and changed and I don't know how to go back.

It doesn't matter. If Pratt can see it on her face, he doesn't let it show; just pats her shoulder and pretends he doesn't see the way she flinches from his hand swinging into her peripheral, pretends he doesn't notice the way she covers it up by swallowing another mouthful of beer she doesn't want to drink.

“Hudson’s really glad to have you back,” he says after a minute, when she doesn’t confirm nor deny that it’s not so bad knowing her mom thinks he’s a fine enough person. “Been talking about it nonstop.”

A smile creeps its way onto her face. “I’m glad to be back. With her, especially.”

“Yeah, you two always been thick, huh?”

She nods, swallows more beer, and Pratt rolls his eyes and snags the bottle out of her hand.

“Don’t keep drinking if you don’t like it,” he tells her, and then finishes it off himself, setting the empty bottle on the countertop with a grimace. “Can’t have people telling Whitehorse I bullied the probie into drinking.”

“‘Probie’,” she scoffs. “I could kick your ass.”

“Bullshit!”

“Could’ve done it before, Pratt.”

“Now that is lies and slander.”

Elliot only grins at him, the only time since coming back sans Joey getting her from the airport that it’s been a genuine thing; lopsided and a little sloppy but a grin nonetheless. Pratt finishes his own beer now, coughing a little into his fist before he blurts out, “I’m glad, too.”

She blinks. “Huh?”

“That you’re back,” Pratt clarifies. “Y’know—nice to have my friend back. Didn’t like sendin’ you off to the big city, anyway.”

He doesn’t know. He can’t know, because her mother won’t talk about it and Joey would never divulge what it was that had brought about her speedy return—but even though he doesn’t know about the way she has to swallow back a flinch every time he waves his hand in her peripheral, or the way the smell of beer on a man’s breath makes her stomach clench with anxiety, or how her hands are so fucking cold all the time because her heart hammers in her chest, the way he says that (Didn’t like sendin’ you off to the big city, anyway) feels a little like vindication.

“S’okay,” she murmurs, nudging his shoulder with hers. “Came back in one piece, didn’t I?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The scent of roses wafted over her in waves. The sound of bathwater murmuring against the sides of the porcelain tub rippled each time she moved, each time she used the grip of her hands against the lip of the sides to sink herself under; her knuckles went cold with the ferocious grip, but when she went under she was submerged in quiet once more. Blissful, serene, quiet; just what she wanted.

Elliot pulled herself out of the water. Downstairs, she could hear her mother’s voice, spiking frantic even through the floors and the two closed doors that kept her separated.

“...years, Mr. Seed, I have lost years of my life agonizing over what she did to herself...”

She dipped below the water, closing her eyes. No sound; no shrill noise; just the heavy, bloated static that existed underneath the surface of the bath. Only her and the baby.

It occurred to her, absently, that she needed to start picking out names for the baby. Now that they had a guess at what the gender was, they’d have to decide about a name; not only a first, but a middle, too—the last name—

“...find it quite intriguing, actually, that the second she comes back to me after being involved with your kind that she’s got all this—this—”

Oh, don’t say it, Elliot thought tiredly, closing her eyes.

“—tear, just wretched wear and tear, Mr. Seed, don’t you? Don’t you find that intriguing?”

John was sitting down there, enduring a thorough verbal lashing, and she hadn’t even asked him to. She’d said, I don’t care if she thinks it was me, and he’d guided her upstairs and cupped her face and kissed her, long and open-mouthed, and swept his thumb over her cheek. Now, Elliot could hear the sound of his voice—calmer, empathetic, like just knowing that her mother was hysterical was giving him some kind of control over himself—but that he was speaking in a normal tone meant that his words didn’t come through quite so clearly.

She heard the sound of her mother saying, “I suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re not bothered in the least?” just before she dipped under the water again.

What was she going to name the baby? Did she even have an idea of what kinds of names she liked? Exhaustion pulled at the edges of her attention; she thought, I’m too tired to come up with a baby name, and gripped the edges of the bathtub harder. More fierce, more firm; grip and pull, maybe spill the entire bathtub over, tilt the clawed feet until it hit the tiled floor and the porcelain broke and the rose-scent water flooded the bathroom, her room, the hallway.

Then they’d have to leave. Then they couldn’t stay, surely, in a house flooded with rose water.

Fingers brushed over hers where they’d gone white at the edges of the tub. She pulled herself out of the water to find John sitting there, knelt at the side of the tub—not unlike the way he’d sat back at her mother’s house in Hope County, when she’d drank too much in the bathtub and said that he could mark her.

Because that’s what it had been. As much as she had wanted it, as much as she had enjoyed it, no matter what John said—he had been marking her as his. Like that Oscar Wilde poem.

The same sin binds us.

Elliot brushed the water from her eyes and settled her head back against the tub, regarding him. He looked less bothered than she thought he would, having sat through her mother’s grilling and interrogation—though he did look like he wanted to say something, like maybe it was sitting, burning into ash in his mouth, the way she could see the flex of his jaw and the way his free hand clenched and loosened.

Ignoring the nagging feeling that he wanted to ask her what she’d been doing under the water, and the even more bothersome knowledge that she had, at some point, become painfully aware of his body language, Elliot said, “We have to think of a name.”

John blinked at her. Less than an hour ago, he’d been saying Of course I’d come for you, I love you, with or without the baby I love you, and she’d been sobbing into his arms and clinging to him.

He said, “And a middle name.”

“I’m trying not to think about it.”

A smile finally ticked the corner of his mouth, his fingers uncurling hers from the edge of the tub. Reluctantly, she let him.

“Your mother’s upset.” He paused. “She still wants you to play nice for her Christmas party, but she’s upset.”

“I know,” she replied sullenly. The despair of her shame, which had at once both overwhelmed her and hollowed her out, had dissipated in the wake of her indignation. What would she know, that vicious thing inside of her said, replaying the way her mother’s expression had crumpled. What would she know of our suffering? What would she know of our pain? ‘Wretched wear and tear’, like we haven’t been torn up for ages, like she didn’t throw us to the wolves and scoff in disgust when we came back bloodied and battered.

She wanted to be angry, really angry, but like most things that had to do with her mother, Elliot found herself more exhausted than anything. Scarlet had always found it impossible to comprehend the scars she’d given herself, had always claimed to feel disconnected to the ways Elliot had searched out meaning and comfort.

Absently, Elliot wet her lips and let her gaze flicker up to where John had perched himself beside the tub. He looked mighty pleased with himself, having finally gotten his words out. I love you, he’d said, palm flat against her window, I love you, with or without the baby.

And John, I want a home with you.

And John, Marriage is hard work, but I know you’re just the woman for the job.

And John, No way baby, I’m fucking it for you.

Blood rushed through her head, thunderous. John was saying something to her, but the words felt distant, and far away, and everything felt like it was underwater when she moved—not just the parts of her submerged in the bath, but all of it, the air too-thick and dragging on her skin and pulling her down slow as molasses. She blinked a few times as she disentangled their hands and reached for the towel, but John pulled it off of the hook first.

She watched him. She watched his mouth move, and his brows pull and furrow together at the center of his forehead, and the way his breath rose and fell in his chest, pushing and pulling the Sloth scar scratched across his sternum. Just like me, dream John had said, gripping her blood-covered hands, you’re just like me.

His voice, muffled and bogged down by the blood rushing through her ears, quirked up at the end. Elliot’s eyes darted back to his, and she asked, “Sorry, what?”

“The water’s cold,” he replied, waving the towel a bit. “Aren’t you getting out?”

“Yeah,” Elliot murmured. She felt hollow. Her fingers itched. She wanted—

John caught her hand as she stepped out of the bathtub, steadying her while her free hand gathered the towel up against her front. Goosebumps prickled across her skin, the lukewarm temperature of the bath still lingering; his fingers interlaced with hers, and she used it to steady herself.

He was close. They were close. A part of her resented it—that she let him be so close to her, that she let him kiss her and fuck her but mostly that she let him hold her when she cried, miserably, that she wanted to go home. Because after everything, after all of it, Hope County still felt—

She closed her eyes. Of course it still felt like home. Joey was there; now she knew Pratt was, too.

And among all of that, if she waded through the weeds spreading in her mind, if she hacked and cut them away, there was John.

“What are you thinking about?” John murmured, his cologne washing over her, their noses brushing. Her eyes fluttered open and she let out a little breath, that wanton little creature in her head chanting it over and over. There’s John, there’s always been John, nobody will love us with this much red in our ledger. No one but him.

“You,” she managed. Her head felt swimmy, the words coming out of her mouth sounding like a stranger’s—thick with want. John’s eyes flickered up to hers, having fixed on her mouth.

“If you want something, Ell,” he rumbled, the pressure of his fingertips against the back of her neck guiding her forward just a little but not all the way, “you only—”

Elliot leaned forward and kissed him, her hand lifting so that she could curl her fingers into his hair, the towel slipping to the floor. His body had tensed, like he wasn’t expecting it—like he was waiting for something else—and she thought about the way he’d kissed her with Kian’s blood in her mouth, the way he’d been just rampant with desire, the way the way the way—

Her teeth caught his lower lip, a little sharper than she’d intended, and his hand gripping her wrist tightened and he moaned, and she felt that same little thrill as before surge through her. It’s my magic, too, the itch in her fingers subsiding when she dug her nails in and pulled his hair a little, parting her lips against his; John leaned into her, crowding her up against the counter in front of the mirror, the hand at the nape of her neck threading into damp hair.

“Ell,” he said against her mouth, his voice rougher than before and hands planted on the counter on either side of her, “what are you doing?”

She murmured, “Stop talking,” and kissed him again, fingers clumsily working through the buttons on his shirt—her voice came out even but everything else about her felt wobbly, unsteady, craving craving craving the way it felt to have him begging her. Anything, to feel in control. Anything, to feel whole. Dig, and dig, and when you hit the bottom you keep digging some more, right?

What do we do with grief, right?

Burn and erase the image of her mother’s disgust and horror at seeing a part of her she might actually like, scrape it from her mind, dig her trenches deep deep deep and hunker down where she could feel safe, where she could feel strong; soon she would be home and—

And John’s teeth snagged her lower lip in retribution, sparking violent and red-hot behind her eyes with pleasure lighting her neurons on fire.

“Off,” she ground out against his mouth, pushing helplessly at the shirt she’d only halfway unbuttoned. The brunette grinned; his hands resumed her work, and she instead devoted her attention to the belt at his waist, yanking at it as John’s face dropped to her neck, hot breath fanning across her skin teeth dragging against her pulse point to pull a moan out of her.

There was a split second between John discarding his shirt on the floor and gripping her hips to lift her onto the countertop, his mouth seeking hers out again as she wound her arms around his neck. She had never been completely naked and felt not vulnerable at all, felt more in control—but she did, now, when she grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled and he moaned her name, a little frantic, Ell, Ell, hellcat, he said into their kiss, let me let me, greedy and wanting as he glided fingers up along the inside of her thigh.

He tensed, like he was going to drop to his knees, and she kept her hand in his hair and said, “Don’t.”

“Hm,” is what he replied, “pulling on my hair, ordering me to take my clothes off—”

“I’m about to tell you to shut up again.”

“—but won’t let me eat you out?” John grinned against her mouth, the scent of his cologne—expensive, stupid shit, but it never failed to feel like it was overwhelming her senses—washing over her. “What is it, baby? Want me to say please?”

Yes, something wicked inside of her said, John’s eyes lifting from her mouth to hers, narrowing playfully. Yes, I’d like that, I’d like to hear you say it like that.

“I know you,” he purred. He dug his nails into her hips, a sound—the wanting kind—trying to crawl its way up her throat. “Know exactly what you want from me. Yeah? So, Ell, won’t you please—”

There was a sharp knock at the door, a pause, and then: “Elliot?”

A near-silent laugh billowed out of John, stifled into her neck when her mother’s voice came through the door. Elliot’s eyes fluttered; her fingers, knotted in John’s hair, loosened and smoothed down the back of his neck, the intoxicating tension relaxing just a little. Heat had coiled in the hollow of her chest, spreading warm fingers at the same leisurely pace that John’s hand drifted up to her hip, his mouth finding the hollow of her jaw.

“I can’t believe her,” she muttered. “Yes?”

“Miss West is here, with her brother.” Scarlet’s voice was tight. “Returning your vehicle.”

Fuck. Elliot sighed, her eyes closing for a second while she tried to gather her thoughts. It was difficult to focus with John’s breath on her neck and his hands on her skin and that fucking cologne—and boy, did she not want to dwell on the fact that he’d shown up with barely anything but somehow also remembered to pack his stupid fucking cologne. But there was a different, special kind of warmth that spread through her when she realized that Sylvia was coming to check on her.

“Hair’s wet,” she called after a moment, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Fine.” There was another pause, and then her mother’s voice, scathing even through the door: “Ensure you are put together, Elliot.”

John murmured against her neck, “So no hickeys, then?” and she swatted his shoulder, rolling her eyes and sliding off of the counter. He seemed reluctant to let her disembark, thumb sweeping the slope of her hip before he dropped down—just far enough to plant a kiss on the gentle slope of her tummy. It was—sentimental, unseating her with incredible ease.

And then he ruined it by saying, “Your mommy won’t let me fuck her filthy, but I hear the second trimester throws a woman’s hormones through the roof, so we’ll see how long that lasts,” to her bump as he grabbed the towel from the floor to offer to her.

She snatched it from his hands, wrapping it around herself. “Don’t say that shit to the baby. You think I won’t end your life?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” he offered, head cocked to the side. “Leaving the hickeys, anyway, I mean. Well, and the second part too. About sex. Not the murderous part. Actually, you know I find it—”

Choosing to ignore the latter statement, Elliot narrowed her eyes. “You’d risk Via’s opinion of you dropping so severely?”

“You know what they say.” John spread his hands, almost in a gesture of helplessness; though she knew he was far from it. “Old habits die hard.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“She’s killing all of my angels!”

Faith’s voice was sharp, piercing; Isolde’s fingers fluttered over the bridge of her nose to fend off an impending headache, pen held poised above the notepad where she’d been writing down her thoughts but had paused in time for the girl’s interjection. She couldn’t stand a messy page—ink smears, jarred letters. Unacceptable.

Two hours ago, she’d had Jacob drive her out to where the service was strongest. A flood of emails and texts from her family had been waiting to overload her phone. Her dad, things are looking poorly, where are you?, her sister, I’ve been trying to reach you for days.

“Jacob,” the blonde plunged on, interrupting her train of thought, “you have to do something. They’re being—gutted like fish!”

“You should have locked them down,” Jacob told her. “And you’re not the only one losing things.”

“I put—” Faith cut herself off, clearly taking a moment to compose herself before she pitched her voice low and said, “I put just as much work into them as you do into yours.”

The red head’s voice bloomed with annoyance when he said, “Oh, did you?”

“No fighting, please,” Joseph called from where he sat next to her. His voice was even, elbows rested on his legs and fingers interlaced in thought. “I know this is stressful. But you must keep your faith in God.”

“Santi told me that—whoever she is has been leaving their corpses all around!” Faith’s voice pitched high with distress, now, sweeping around Jacob to come to where they had sat, big doe eyes wide. “We have to do something. Please, Father—I don’t want our people to wonder if they’re going to be next.”

Joseph paused, looking pensive for a moment; Isolde thought he might have been trying to figure out how he wanted to phrase something, but before he could speak, Isolde looked at Jacob and said, “You were going to hunt her down anyway, weren’t you?”

The eldest Seed’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you start with me too, Sol.”

“Get some fresh air,” she replied curtly, “go for a drive, clear your head. Eliminate a problem. You’ve been wearing a hole in the floors anyway; put that energy into being productive.”

“P—” Jacob’s voice spiked, incredulous. “Excuse me?”

He was agitated. She could tell—Pratt, and the phone call with the deputy in Georgia, and the Hunter on some kind of one-man rampage. But more importantly, Isolde thought, Jacob was agitated because there had not been a single conversation between him and Joseph since their argument.

Well, not even an argument. Just a lashing. A public one.

Isolde scooted her chair back from the table that had been set up at the front of the chapel, setting her pen down and stepping away. Her hand landed on the crook of Jacob’s elbow as she passed, and though he made a noise that implied disdain, he followed—not without shrugging her hand off by the time they got to the front doors of the chapel, leaving the other two to talk in low, murmured voices.

“You have got to stop letting this get to you,” she hissed.

“Nothing is ‘getting’—”

“Listen to me,” Isolde interjected. “I’ve been keeping as close an eye on the news as I have been on you. Things are—” She paused, mouth twisting around the words. “There is no room for you lot to be bloody fighting with each other. Do you understand me? This has moved far past needing to prepare PR and build a legal defense.”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed. He looked suspicious. “So why are you still here then, Sol?” he asked.

The words burned insult in her chest. Why are you still here, stinging fresh and hot, because it was a fair question. It was the most fair question. Unlike any of these people, she had a family outside that she still loved. Her sister, and her parents. She should have told John and all of the Seeds to go fuck themselves, to enjoy the end of the world, while she went to be with her family.

But she wasn’t. She was here. Doing—this. Finding fresh new ways for Joseph to connect with his people to keep their morale high, keeping the infighting at bay to make sure they looked like a united front to everyone, second doomsday cult included.

“My parents will take care of Avery. You know they’re close with—government,” she replied after a minute, shaking off the unease. “And I told John that I would.”

He snorted. “John says jump, you ask how high?”

“No,” she bit out, “I say jump and you kiss the fucking ground I’m standing on because I cobbled together what the fuck is left of your congregation.” Before Jacob could say anything, Isolde added, “My hands are full, Jake. Do not add to my pile.”

Dark brows furrowed, his mouth thinning in disdain. He clearly wanted to say something. But true to his nature, Jacob straightened back and settled himself before he said, “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Fine,” he reiterated with his eyes narrowed. “I’m going to the Veteran’s Center.”

“That doesn’t sound like where we heard about the killings happening last,” Isolde protested, eyes narrowing.

“But she was there,” he replied. “Or someone was. Someone was there enough to steal my files.”

“Your—” Isolde snapped her mouth shut, sucking her teeth as she glanced back at Joseph and Faith; haloed in the dim lighting of the chapel, she could see them looking back at Jacob and herself expectantly. She wondered how much they could hear, from there.

Turning her attention back to Jacob and pitching her voice down in volume, Isolde hissed, “I don’t think prioritizing files is the best move right now.”

“Thank you,” Jacob idled, “for your input.”

“Fuck you.”

“Have fun,” he added, opening the door and letting in a waft of biting, cold air, before gesturing to the Book of Joseph on the table that she’d had her nose stuck in. All the better to make Joseph’s sermons hit home harder, after all. “You know—with your light reading.”

Isolde narrowed her eyes, watching him trudge down the steps for just a second before she said, “Jacob—”

“Yes, Isolde?”

Her mouth pressed into a thin line. “Don’t get shot.”

For a moment, he looked almost surprised at her words—but it was only a moment before he said, “Don’t worry, I’m taking Vidal. He makes a suitable meatshield.”

“God, he’s a talker.”

A tiny ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of Jacob’s lips, before he said, “John and the deputy should be making their way here any day now.”

Isolde grimaced. “I was there for the phone call.”

“Are you going to leave?” Jacob pressed, expression stiffening again. “When he does?”

She paused, clearing her throat and shifting on her feet. I should, were the words that wanted to come out of her mouth. I should go. I only came down here because John wasn’t here. I should go, and get back to my life, and maybe get to my family and try to stay out of the crossfire and—

After a heartbeat, she said, “I don’t know.”

Jacob shrugged, as if to say, see? Told you, though to what he could be referring to, she had no idea; she only knew that she didn’t like the way he swung around and sauntered out of the chapel, leaving her alone in the tepid warmth with Joseph and Faith’s eyes on her in favor of the blistering cold outside. Snow had continued to dump throughout the day and night, and had only just let up recently; the members of Eden’s Gate—those who had survived the Family’s relentless assaults, and those that had been pulled from the bunkers—had been tirelessly shoving pathways, only to have their work tidily undone each night.

Fingers brushed the palm of her hand. Isolde startled; she glanced back just as fingers interlaced with hers to be met with sweet, bright eyes and Faith’s adoring attention planted on her.

“It means so much to me,” Faith murmured, “that you would help. Not just me, but all of us.”

Soli watched the blonde for a moment, trying to gauge. The physical closeness was not something she was accustomed to; carefully, she disentangled their fingers, skin prickling with unease. When she glanced up, Joseph’s eyes were on them, on Faith’s fingers falling from her hand but skimming the inside of her palm in a lingering touch of affection.

He was always doing that. Watching. Watching, and waiting, and pinning each movement and gesture and thought and word out perfectly like the wings of a butterfly, just the color he liked and just the shape.

“Don’t thank me,” Isolde replied, mustering a smile and brushing the hair from her face.

“It’s my job.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hey, Miss Honey, John!”

Wyatt’s cheerful voice broke through the late-afternoon chill; the sun setting early, people’s breath coming out in puffs of smoke. It all felt oddly normal, given the circumstances of the morning and the way she’d forgotten to call Sylvia once she got home, and that her friend had fished up a reason to come by the house and make sure she hadn’t—

Well.

Still, if there was any remnant of the morning in Sylvia’s heart, it didn’t show in her face, and it certainly didn’t show in Wyatt’s. Instead, both blondes beamed at her, radiant, the second she came out with fuzzy, fresh-from-the-blow-dryer hair and swaddled up to her chin in thick fabrics to fend off the cold.

And, truthfully, to hide the bump. John had reminded her of it, and even though the moment had been a...good one, it had also reminded her she hadn’t expressed this truth to Sylvia or Wyatt. As John closed the door behind her and jogged down the steps,

“Howdy,” Ell greeted, albeit a bit awkwardly thanks to her stuck-somewhere-nowhere-sort-of-accent. “You didn’t have to drive it back all the way out here, you know.”

“Sure we did.” Wyatt chirped. “Wouldn’t be very neighborly of us if we let it sit and the battery died out, now would it?”

“No,” John demurred after a moment even as Elliot’s cheeks went warm, “I suppose not.”

“You all recovered from this morning?” Via asked cheerfully, purposefully avoiding the actual question. Elliot shifted on her feet. John’s hand skimmed the small of her back, and even through the layers of fabric, it felt warm; she wondered if this was what it would have been like for them, had their life been normal. Had John been truthful with her from the get-go. Now, with everything laid out between them—the lies unearthed and only the brutal, unapologetic knowledge that they wanted each other, in one way or another—it felt like they might have been normal. Sometime, somewhere, someplace else.

It was still hard to swallow, all of it. The lies and the now-truths and the knowledge that she did, in fact, want.

“Oh, yeah,” Ell replied faintly. “Took a bath and...” She tried for a smile. “Decompressed.”

“That what smells so good?”

“Y’all get that tired from dress shoppin’?” Wyatt tsked, having pulled his coat out of the jeep and started to pull it on. He grinned at her and skillfully dodged a side-swipe from Sylvia; he had a good foot of height on her—and Elliot—so it wasn’t difficult. The siblings fussed for only a moment before Sylvia managed to fetch the Jeep’s keys from Wyatt’s coat pocket and held them out to Elliot, puffing.

She was in the middle of saying, “Your keys, madame,” when John’s head tilted and he muttered, “Now what is this?”, drawing her attention to the end of the drive. A police cruiser made its way slowly down the drive, carefully pulling up behind the Jeep.

Not beside it. Not further up toward the garage, not on the other side of the four of them chatting. Behind it. Blocked in.

Sheriff Pritchard stepped out, shuffling a little as he adjusted the black, fur-trimmed jacket on his shoulders and closed the driver side door. He’d come alone, which made Elliot certain he wasn’t here to arrest her—and what a ludicrous thought, that he might have considered it a possibility, because the mere mental image of Pritchard grabbing her arm and keeping his eyes in his head made a hysterical kind of laugh want to bubble out of her.

Not me, not me and not my baby, that thing inside of her said, lifting its hackles and baring its teeth when Pritchard began to saunter over. Not my baby.

“Afternoon, you two. And Wests,” Pritchard greeted as he drew closer. He’d earned himself a curious murmur from Sylvia. “Havin’ a little shindig out here, Miss Honeysett?” Elliot opened her mouth to respond, but he lifted his hands quickly in defense. “‘M sorry, forgot myself. Mrs. Seed.”

It caught her off-guard, sucked the air right out of her lungs. It was one thing to hear her mother say John is Elliot’s husband, to hear her say John is my son-in-law, but it was another entirely to hear herself referred to as Mrs. Seed. It had never, ever been that she was John’s wife, except out of his own mouth, but now—

John seemed eager to engage with Pritchard, because he said, “Something that you needed, sheriff?”

“Yes, actually. Believe it or not, I ain’t in the business of drivin’ out to the rich part of town just for shits and giggles,” Pritchard replied coolly. “Your mama home, Elli?”

“Probably resting,” Sylvia offered, smiling politely. “We just finished dress shoppin’ for her Christmas Party not but an hour ago.”

“Yeah,” Pritchard rumbled, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “Heard about your little trip to the boutique today.”

John asked irritably, “Do you need to smoke that right now?”

Elliot swallowed thickly. Her lashes fluttered, eyes desperate to close; the warmth that had flooded her face now felt like it verged on feverish, threatening to make her head swim again. This was bad. This was bad-bad, chop her hair off and run run run again bad, the kind of bad that made a girl change her name and burn her birth certificate and make sure that nobody would ever be able to find her again.

“I don’t,” she began, “think mama’s feeling up to visitors right now.”

Pritchard eyed her, taking a puff of his cigarette while completely glazing over John’s pointed question. “Imagine not. You know, you been a hot topic of conversation lately, Mrs. Seed. Gotten loads of questions about you. Lady from out of town, Federal Marshals. I don’t like folks sniffin’ around my town, you know, especially not the fuckin’ Feds, but it’s gotta make me wonder.” The smoke curled out from his nose, the smoke of a lazy, self-righteous dragon wafting around her.

“Sheriff,” John continued tightly, clearing his throat, “you’re going to need to put that out.”

“We’re outside, Mr. Seed. You ain’t ever seen someone smoke a cigarette outside?”

“Do you make a habit of smoking around pregnant women?” John snapped viciously, and oh, she thought, oh, I didn’t even think of that, because her brain was too busy kicking into overdrive and parse out the absolute confirmation that Federal Marshals were asking after her and strange women, too. Oh, I didn’t even think about the baby.

And then Sylvia said, eyes wide as saucers as she laughed, flustered, “Oh, John, that’s very kind of you, but I’m not—” and her eyes landed on Elliot, and she blinked rapidly.

Wyatt was looking at her, too. Big, big eyes, surely having not only learned that she and John were married but that she was also pregnant in the span of only a few minutes. At least, Elliot didn’t think Sylvia would have divulged that information, and if the shock he was clearly trying to cover up in his expression was any indication, that gut feeling was right.

No, she thought, no, this is not what I wanted. This is not what I wanted at all. It wasn’t his to tell, it wasn’t his to tell, it was mine, my choice, mine alone.

Her gaze snapped to Pritchard. She said, “It’s time for you to leave.”

Pritchard lifted his eyebrows. “That so? Well, good for me I ain’t here to talk to you, missy.”

“Get. Off. My. Property,” she bit out through her teeth. “Scarlet isn’t taking visitors, and I’ll cut the decay out of my own teeth before she makes anything close to the time of day for you.”

Now, his eyes narrowed and the cigarette sat between his fingers, still burning amber at the end. “Excuse me?”

“And tell the fucking Feds whatever you want,” she snapped, fingers curled tightly around the keys until the metal edges dug into the nooks and crannies of her hand. “But whatever you do, get the fuck out of my driveway, sheriff.”

Something flickered in the corner of her vision. John started, “Ell,” and his hand went to her shoulder, but she jerked back from him before he could make much more than a brush of contact.

“Don’t,” Elliot snapped at him, her voice wobbling and the tears—shameful tears—welling up and burning, “touch me.”

“Alright, okay,” Sylvia murmured, “Elliot and I are gonna go inside, and John can—”

“Ain’t here to talk to Mr. Seed,” Pritchard drawled venomously.

“If you’re asking questions about Elliot,” Sylvia replied calmly, taking Elliot’s hand with a firm squeeze, “I can imagine there is no better person to ask than her husband, don’t you think so, Sheriff?”

Pritchard’s eyes were squinted into poisonous little slits, and he took a long drag of his cigarette.

“Mrs. Honeysett won’t be any type of cooperative if you get her up now,” Wyatt chimed in, eyes flickering nervously to Elliot—perhaps both because of the news and because of her outburst. But she didn’t have time to think much about it, because Sylvia was tugging her out of the cluster of folks, ginger and reassuring even as her brother plunged on, “I mean, sheriff, come on—you know how women can be when they’re gotten up too early, let alone they’ve been shoppin’ all day—”

And Pritchard said, “You want I should put my cigarette out now, Mr. Seed?” as Sylvia opened the door,

and John replied with a slick, charismatic kind of venom, “No reason to anymore, smoke to your heart’s content,”

and the door clicked shut behind her and Boomer scampered out from where he’d been snoozing under the dining table.

She had to leave.

She had to go.

She had to get out.

Federal Marshals and strange women asking after her, and now her only two friends in the whole fucking world—

(well, not entirely true, since we still have Pratt, isn’t that right? Isn’t that right, Elli?)

—had just seen her almost go fucking bananas on an officer of the law, had watched her demand he get the fuck out of her driveway for wanting to ask her mother about her, had seen her.

“Hey,” Sylvia said, “you’re alright.”

I’m not, she thought, dropping the keys into the crystal bowl by the door, smearing red against the glass. Her hand stung. She reached with the good, unmarked hand for Boomer absently. His cold, wet nose brushed against it, and he whined, feet tapping against the wood as he bumped her for her attention. I won’t go. I won’t fucking go. I won’t pay the price for what they did to me, what they made me into.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out abruptly, her voice coming out tight. “Sorry that I didn’t—um, tell you. About the—”

“It’s okay,” Sylvia told her quickly, “it’s alright, Elli, it’s not a big deal. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

Elli, she said, without knowing what the nickname meant. Elli, Sylvia said, it’s alright, and Joey, right now we need to leave, Elli, and Pratt, geez, Elli, slow down, an affectionate nickname saved only for folks who considered her their friend. Sans Pritchard. Fuck Pritchard.

“Lots of people wait to tell,” Via continued, one hand coming to rest on her shoulder and jarring her out of her thoughts, which were quickly and rapidly devolving back into the urge to march outside and ensure Pritchard was obeying her command. Out out out, something vicious inside of her demanded, we want him out we want him gone.

Elliot said, “Yeah, you’re right,” but she felt far away—not lost, not gone from herself, but thinking. She could pack fast. She could pack fast, and John had brought barely anything, and they could leave right now, her mother none the wiser. They could leave now and be gone and Cameron Burke would have to—

But are we sure it’s Burke? Are we sure it’s Burke and not someone else, come to haul your ass to a fucking psych ward, for what you did in Hope County?

For what you did?

No. She wasn’t sure. She could only hope it was one singular Federal Marshall on her tail, and not an actual piece of the government body. That was all.

But whoever it was that was asking after her—strangers, government officials—it didn’t matter. That old mantra had kicked in again; something has to be done, the same kind of calm before the storm that she’d felt when Joey had been killed, something has to be done.

Something has to be done and I’m going to have to be the one to fucking do it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Pritchard dropped the cigarette into the snow and stamped it out with his bootheel, his eyes fixed on John. Sylvia had rushed Elliot inside, but he didn’t think that had been purely necessary—only in the instance they had wanted to keep Pritchard out of a blood bath. Elliot hadn’t been checking out, trying to keep herself together; she had been angry, and he’d had half a mind to let her say and do exactly as she pleased to the man now standing in front of him in the cold.

“She always been that volatile, Mr. Seed?” the sheriff asked.

“Not undeservingly,” John replied tartly, his eyes narrowed. “Did you have specific questions, sheriff, or did you just come by to terrorize my pregnant wife with your theoretical judgment of her soul?”

“More your speed?” Pritchard replied, lifting a brow.

“Pardon?”

“Heard about you Seed boys,” he continued coolly, “and your...” He gestured with a calloused hand vaguely, looking for the right word.

John smiled, with teeth. “Before I grow old, if you don’t mind, sheriff.”

“Proclivities,” Pritchard elaborated, “for religion.”

Fucking Burke, he thought, with no absence of venom; fucking Burke can’t resist the urge to try and fuck up my life when he’d be better off trying to find a place to hunker down for the end of the world.

“We’re red-blooded Americans,” John idled coolly, “freedom of religion goes hand in hand with that.”

“Mr. Pritchard, you wanna get that car started?” Wyatt cut in abruptly, glancing around like he thought maybe the rest of the patrol might be rolling in any minute. “It doesn’t sound like you’ve got any questions for Mr. Seed.”

“That’s sheriff to you, boy,” he snapped. And then, after a heartbeat, he fished his keys out of his pocket and said, “I s’pose I got all the information I needed, after all.”

“Mmhm.”

John had turned back to the house, spotting Elliot and Sylvia through the front window, when Pritchard announced, “You make sure Scarlet gives me a call when she’s recovered from your wife’s antics, Mr. Seed.”

His gaze returned to the sheriff, narrowed. “Certainly, Sheriff Pritchard.”

“But if I don’t hear from you, no worries,” the man continued, opening his car door, “I’ll make another special trip out here.”

“Goody.”

John flashed another grin when Pritchard’s eyes flickered over him. Wyatt said, “Have a safe drive,” and Pritchard slammed his door shut, his cruiser’s engine roaring to life before he began to slowly back out and make a u-turn to head down the long driveway again. There was a moment of silence, stretching between himself and Wyatt that he didn’t feel particularly inclined to break—after all, Wyatt had been taking liberties with Elliot that he shouldn’t have been—before the blonde finally broke the silence.

“Congrats,” Wyatt said after a minute. “About—uh, the baby, I mean. I didn’t know!”

Ah, he thought, feeling a strange little surge of pride at the way the man across from him shifted on his feet with discomfort, and that’s why Elliot’s mad I brought it up. Her friends didn’t know.

Well, it was better this way, after all. He wouldn’t have taken it back even if he’d gotten the chance, knowing what he did now.

“Thank you,” he replied amiably. “It’s certainly a blessing.”

Wyatt’s mouth twisted for a moment, looking like there was something he wanted to say specifically and didn’t know how to say it without foregoing social niceties, but the sound of the front door opening caught both of their attentions.

“Wyatt, you gonna stand out here like a lemming all afternoon or what?” Via called. “Get the car warmed up, you caveman.” She took a few steps down the front stairs and looked at John. “You’re wanted inside, Mr. Seed.”

A very polite way of telling him that Elliot, perhaps, was in the mood to throttle him with her bare hands. Though he didn’t really see the harm in spilling the news—perhaps with Via, sure, but Wyatt? The cowboy? Like that was ever going to be anything.

“Thanks for your help,” John said, clapping Wyatt on the shoulder before he made his way to the front steps. Via hadn’t moved. In fact, her normally polite expression was eerily cool—whatever amicable, feigned interest she had manicured for him in the past seemed to have evaporated in the wake of Elliot’s own fury.

As he neared, he said, “Something else you needed, Miss West?”

Via’s eyes narrowed. She looked at Wyatt, now inside the car, and then back to John. “You must think I’m mighty dumb, don’t you?”

John lifted an eyebrow inquisitively. “If you think I instigated that little outburst on purpose—”

“What I think,” Via replied, “is that you know exactly what she’s capable of handling. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you weren’t thinking of letting her physically assault a police officer.”

His easy-going expression flattened. Sylvia, and her seeing, the same kind of uncanny people-reading skills that Joseph had, too. Seeing his delight at knowing that Elliot would have taken on a man a foot taller than her, pregnant, if it meant keeping him away from the baby, if it meant keeping herself out of the grip of a greater power that wanted her in a psychiatric evaluation.

“I want to like you,” Via continued, taking the steps until she reached the bottom, “and I thought maybe you were here to make a real effort. But it seems like you’re the same person you were before, John Duncan.”

The name sent a jolt of red-hot anger flushing down his spine, filling him up suddenly with a sort of molten rage that only the reminder of his adoptive parents could have inspired in him. When Via went to move past him, he snatched her elbow, holding her in place.

“And where,” he ground out, “did you hear that name, Miss West?”

“It’s called a web browser, John,” Via replied coolly. “You ever heard of Google? Imagine how many John Seeds there are in Hope County, Montana. I don’t need to tell you that the articles regarding you and your brothers, though a bit old, are unflattering. And all I want you to know—” She paused, arm still in his grip. “—is that we’re aware of each other, and that I don’t want anything happening to Elliot.”

“Neither do I,” John replied tightly, “and I especially don’t want someone digging trenches where there’s not a war zone.”

Via regarded him with an even gaze for a moment, glancing back at the car where her brother sat, before she murmured idly, “Kindly take your hand off of my arm, John.”

“Ellliot’s already aware of the any of the information in those articles,” he continued lowly, “just so you know.”

“My point, John,” Via replied casually, “is that I know, and I can—and will—deal with it as I see fit. Now, you gonna take your fuckin’ hand off of my arm, or are we going to have a problem?”

He watched her for a moment—just long enough to consider the dopamine rush of killing her, grabbing a fistful of her hair and slamming her face into the top of the porch, doing something, anything to ensure that Sylvia West was not capable of messing up anything that he was doing—and then he planted a big smile on his face and dropped his hand from her arm.

“Careful,” he said, louder now so that Wyatt would hear, “it’s icy.”

The blonde didn’t respond. Instead, she brushed her hand absently where his had been, as though to brush herself free of his touch, and picked her way across the driveway and to the truck idling just on the other side of the jeep.

Well, that would be one less problem to deal with, in the end.

John made his way inside, closing the front door quietly behind himself and taking a moment to gauge. Just to see what was going on. The house itself was quiet, and Boomer’s little footfalls were nowhere to be heard, and Scarlet wasn’t sipping her vodka in the living room—so.

So.

Taking a breath, he started up the stairs, turning into the hall to find Elliot’s bedroom door halfway ajar. He paused in the doorway; she was rifling through drawers, pulling sweaters and long-sleeved shirts and jeans and sweats out and dropping them into a duffel bag, furious little exhales occasionally coming out of her.

“I was told I was being summoned,” John said, Elliot’s attention razor-sharp and snapping to him immediately.

“Pack your shit,” she said briskly, “we’re leaving.”

He blinked. Taking a step inside, he glanced at Boomer—perched protectively between himself and Elliot—and said, “I thought we were waiting until after the Christmas party?”

“You’re not fucking deaf, John, you heard Pritchard,” she snapped. “The Feds have been asking about me. The only reason they don’t know exactly where to look—whoever it is—is because Pritchard’s a fucking asshole and likes to be as obstinate as possible.”

“And if we sprint out of here,” he replied, “you’re just going to draw their attention.”

“It’s what Pritchard wants.” Elliot zipped the duffel bag shut and then brushed past him into the bathroom, gathering up her toothbrush and toothpaste and the sleeping pills. “For me to be gone. He’ll piss off if I go. And there’s no way he’s going to put up a big fight to cozy up to the government.”

“Elliot.” John watched her furiously gathering things up, and then when she came by again he caught her with his hands. “Ell, just slow down—”

“Stop,” she bit out, “stop telling me what to fucking do, John, and—I told you not to touch me.”

He lifted his hands from her, but not far enough that she could duck past. “Are you that mad about Sylvia and Wyatt knowing you’re pregnant?” When she didn’t answer, and instead hauled the bag over from the other side of the bed to be close to her so that she could dump the collections from the bathroom into it, he sighed. “I didn’t know you hadn’t told them, but I don’t understand what all of the secrecy is about. The baby isn’t—”

“I felt normal!” Elliot replied sharply, her voice pitching a little higher now, and John heard the wet wobble in it too—the way the timbre of her voice thickened and rounded out with the threat of oncoming tears, her cheeks flushed with anger and maybe shame and pain, too. “Okay? I felt—I f-fucking felt normal, for once, and it was enough that Sylvia knew you and I had been—that we’re married, which I don’t even want to dig into right now, but it was another to be like—yes, the father of my fucking child, who I’m actually married to even though I didn’t want it, is here and oh, by the way? He’s part of a cult. Yeah, a fucking doomsday cult. I’m carrying the child of a doomsday cultist.”

“How was I supposed to know?” he demanded. “How was I supposed to know that you didn’t want Sylvia and her brother knowing you were pregnant? You never said. And what does it matter?” And then, feeling the petulance well up inside of him: “I know it probably felt nice, to have Wyatt giving you attention—”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she asked, incredulous. “You’re really pulling that now? So, what—you dumped the news because you wanted to make sure my friend found me as off-limited as possible?”

John crossed his arms over his chest. “I know this may come as a shock to you,” he said, feeling the tension peeling apart behind his eyelids, “I really didn’t want Pritchard smoking near my baby.”

“My baby.” Elliot jammed her finger into his chest, just above his heart, her words vicious. “It’s our baby, or it’s my baby, but there isn’t a single fucking universe where the only person this baby is beholden to is you.”

“He’s,” John corrected, tartly. “He’s our baby. And at the end of the day, whether you like it or not—”

“Have you ever,” she cut in over him, biting the words out between her teeth, “done anything for me that wasn’t for you too?”

Watching her, the words sat sticky in his chest. His instinct was to say, of course I have, but that wasn’t true. Of course it wasn’t. And he wasn’t going to pretend like it was, either—because he wasn’t ashamed that everything he had done had been for them, that if Elliot wasn’t his then there would be no point in it, that it was a zero sum game where he either had her or he had nothing.

He said, evenly, “No.”

Elliot looked unseated by his honesty. She swept her fingers across her forehead tiredly and turned back to her bag. “Then do me a favor and pack your shit so we can go.”

John sighed. “Don’t you think—”

“John,” she bit out, “I am making an executive decision.”

“Alright, Ell.”

“And—”

John had turned to the door to go gather what few of his belongings he’d had when Elliot cut herself off, drawing his eyes over his shoulder to her again. She looked unwell—stressed, feverish, her hands buried into the duffel bag maybe to hide the shaking and her face flushed and her brows furrowed together.

“Thank you,” she managed out after a minute, “for being honest. For once.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Pratt brushed the snow from his hair, teeth chattering as he waded through knee-deep snow out towards the water. It had been three days, and Helmi had told him to meet her out there—how she was going to get past the compound’s security, Pratt didn’t know, but he also thought it probably was best not to dwell on the things that Helmi would do (and could do) to get where she needed to be.

Which is why he found himself less and less surprised to find her standing at the edge of the water, in the middle of the night, swathed up to her jaw in dark, heavy fabrics. The only part of her that wasn’t covered were her hands; the closer he got, he could see she was turning a smooth, dark rock over and over in her hands, passing it between them as she watched him come nearer.

“You remembered,” was how she greeted him, most of her face cast in shadow thanks to the high position of the moon behind her. Pratt shivered and jammed his hands into his coat pockets.

“Yeah, well, kinda hard to forget,” he replied. “Considering it’s been looming over me for the last few days.”

“Poor thing,” Helmi agreed, not sounding sympathetic at all. “Did you call her?”

Pratt paused, clearing his throat. There was something that didn’t quite sit right with him, knowing that he had called Elliot not out of a cry for her help—not really, anyway—but because this other cult wanted her. This cult, which had tore its way through Hope County splitting and gutting its residents, wanted her. And Helmi didn’t seem keen on telling him why.

“I did. They just got word that she and John are on the road now,” he said after a moment. “What, uh—do you want her for, anyway?”

Helmi quirked a brow at him, the corner of her mouth tilting upwards. “Shouldn’t you have asked that before making the phone call, if it was going to bother you?”

A little lick of shame and embarrassment crawled red-hot into his cheeks, and he scoffed, turning his face away. “Well, you said you wanted her alive. Can’t say the same for the Seeds.”

“She’s carrying John’s child,” Helmi pointed out. “You think they’d kill her still?”

Pratt grimaced. It was still hard to stomach—the idea that Elliot was with John. Or had been, at one point. It didn’t sound like things were going great, and he could only imagine why. Still—

Still, he thought there was a lesser of the two evils, and Helmi sounded like it. Maybe not the others, but Helmi.

“They don’t have a problem killing babies,” Pratt replied after a minute. “What are you going to do, once she gets here? They won’t let her leave, and they definitely won’t let you in.”

Now, the blonde grinned—pearly teeth in the dark of the night, surprisingly satisfied with herself. “Big one’s pissed at me, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. Well, you know, Faith too. You've been killing her angels.”

She shrugged. “I’ve got a plan. You know exactly as much as you need to know right now. Are you eating?”

The question came so quickly that Pratt didn’t have time to register the oddness of it, replying on automatic the same way he had been with Arden’s consistent, gentle pestering: “Yeah, I mean—don’t have much of an appetite, but...”

His voice trailed off and he glanced back at the woman. Her head was cocked and her eyes were fixed on him expectantly. “What?”

“Eat,” she told him. “Take advantage of as much as you can. And most of all, listen. Any information you can get will be helpful.”

Pratt’s throat felt a little tight. He kept thinking about the way Jacob had grabbed his shoulder, laughing when he’d insulted the woman doing the heavy lifting for Joseph—grinning like a fucking wolf, like he was going to be dinner, next.

He managed out, “He’ll kill me. If he suspects. He’ll take—everything, from me.”

Helmi planted a hand on his shoulder. The gesture made him want to flinch, but he bit back the urge, and he thought maybe she’d seen but didn’t say.

“He already took everything from you,” she replied lightly, “and do you know what that means?”

The dark of her gaze was intense, piercing even in the late night; it made it hard to look away. Voices echoed back in the compound, and briefly, he thought maybe they’d noticed his absence—but he only shook his head.

“It means you have nothing to lose,” Helmi murmured, “and everything to take back from him.” Her hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his neck, the pad of her thumb sweeping up to his pulsepoint pensively. “See? Your heart is beating, and hard. Your blood knows it’s what you want, even if you don’t yet.”

Swallowing thickly, he nodded his head once. Nothing to lose, and everything to take back. Could he? Could he get things back? Is that what Helmi had done? What Elliot had done?

“And don’t fuck it up,” she added, dropping her hand from his neck and zipping her coat up. Leaving so soon. She grinned. “Or I’ll gut you myself. And I guarantee, it won’t be an Återfödelse.”

A nervous, almost hysterical little laugh bubbled up out of him. Helmi shot him a look and then brushed past him, heading back into where the brush became the thickest, calling over her shoulder, “See you in a few days, Staci Pratt.”

A few days. A few days, Elliot would be back, and John Seed would be back, and Helmi would be seeing him. Seeing them. Maybe it would be better to make a break with Elliot, once she got in—but what if she didn’t want to? What if she was one of them?

Pratt let out a puff of hot breath, digging the heel of his palm into his eyesocket while the pain bloomed just there, turning and beginning to trudge back to the compound before anyone noticed his absence. Each scrape and puff of snow fell in line with his heartbeat, the mantra on and off again.

Nothing to lose.

Everything to take back.

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yukheii · 5 years

Text

— baby mine (p.cy)

+ pairing :: park chanyeol + reader

+ genre and warnings :: fluff, i always forget to put language as a warning but it’s nothing offensive lol just like,,,, cursing idk, chanyeol is Large and a babie but wbk, descriptions of the reader being physically smaller than chanyeol; i don’t mean to describe them as “thin,” more as just,,, physically smaller/shorter than him lmao

+ notes :: yea so maybe i like chanyeol, too, sue me. very much inspired by own struggles w getting my ears pierced except i didn’t have a stupid boyfriend to help me w it rip. no i will not stop clowning him about his ears i do it out of love

Chanyeol is kind of absent minded. It’s cute, though; endearing in all the right ways. The kind of childish forgetfulness—like asking someone for the time despite wearing a watch and having his phone in his hand, putting his clothes in the dryer only to leave them there for the next four hours, buying food when he’d already cooked dinner the day before.

He seems to also forget that he’s twice your size; evident in the way that he plops his entire body weight on top of yours after he’s showered for the evening.

“Yeol,” you hum, sarcasm peeking through your tone, “Sweetheart, you smell lovely, and your skin is incredibly soft, and I love cuddling with you—truly, I do—but, please try to remember that not all of us six feet tall.”

He chuckles, the reverberations of his laughter resonating throughout your body, and lifts himself up by his arms; maneuvering himself so that he’s on your right side, his left leg draped over your hips, arm splayed across your tummy, and his head resting at the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“Better?” he questions, syllables muffled by your pajamas.

“Yeah,” you laugh, reaching out to stroke his newly blonde hair. He hums at the affection, pressing a kiss to your exposed skin before nestling himself further into your hold.

You stroke through his hair, starting at the top and racking down to his nape. Neither of you speak for a while, the silence comforting and intimate in ways that you can’t describe.

It isn’t until Chanyeol shifts his body that your attention shifts from his hair to his ear. A small, but shiny gold-tone diamond earring gleams in his cartilage. The red skin around the jewelry prompts you to tap him.

“Did you remember to clean your earring after you showered?” you ask, hand falling to his lobe to toy with the much older piercing.

Chanyeol groans, hands flailing childishly at your reminder. “No,” he pouts, “‘M too tired to do it now.”

“Babes, it’ll get infected,” you warn through chuckles, as Chanyeol tries to cuddle your words away.

“One day won’t kill me,” he huffs, looking up at you.

“Okay,” you sing-song, your hand going back to his hair, “But when your ear falls off, I’ll be the first to laugh.”

“Babe,” he whines, dragging out the last vowel dramatically, “Don’t say that!”

“Then go clean your earring!” you command, laughter still spilling out in between your words, “Your ears are already noticeable as it is, imagine if one fell off—Dumbo can’t fly with one ear.”

Chanyeol raises a hand to flick your arm, “You’ve already reached your threshold for calling me Dumbo today.”

“No way, I’ve only done it thrice,” you counter.

“Nuh uh,” he shakes his head, reluctantly forcing his body to sit upright against the headboard, “You said it during lunch, and when I almost put your sock with the whites when we did the laundry. And that was after you said it twice in a row when I dropped the pot lid and spilled the orange juice at breakfast.”

“I—” you cut yourself off with a huff. “Fine.”

He sits back with a satisfied smirk, using his arm length to pull at your forearms and bring you up with him. He kisses you briefly before adding, “You can make it up to me by cleaning my earring for me, though.”

It’s with a roll of your eyes that you shimmy off the bed, and drag your feet in the direction of your en suite to fish out the cleaning solution and q-tips. Chanyeol chuckles lowly as you watches you trudge back into the room, walking towards his side of the bed to rest the items on the small drawer.

The bed dips when you place your knee on it to hoist yourself up. Chanyeol takes it a step further, though—like he always does—pulling your body over his until you straddle his lap. He looks up at you with a cheeky grin and a wink to match, resulting in scoff on your end.

His laughter is prolonged as you ignore his ministrations in favor of reaching for the clear bottle and two q-tips.

“Hold this,” you mumble, forcing the extra q-tip into his hand. Chanyeol takes it carefully, carefully not to touch the cotton on either end with his fingers.

It’s quite mundane from there on out, but he watches happily and diligently as you soak both ends of the q-tip in your hand with the solution and gently wipe around the gold earring. He winces, only slightly initially; but becomes too enraptured with the burning in his cheeks while you take care off him.

Wordlessly, you motion for the second q-tip and he hands it over, a stupidly fond look painted across his features, with an equally flustered blush on his cheeks to match.

“There,” you declare when you’re finished, placing the used q-tips on the drawer and closing the cap on the bottle, “Now Dumbo can keep both of his ears.”

He doesn’t even think about telling you off for the nickname, he only rests his hands against your hips and leans upwards to kiss you.

“Thank you,” he grins, eyes wide and face warm, “Love you.”

“Of course, Yeol,” you reply, albeit a bit stunned with the sudden affection, you blink for a few seconds, before mindlessly bringing a hand back to rake through his locks. “Love you more.”

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vampsiltonpitch · 3 years

Text

Get to know me tag

Thanks for tagging me, @iminthisstanshit 💛

Gonna put a cut here, bc it’s longgg...

When is your birthday: October 23rd

What is your favourite colour: Blueeeee

What is your lucky number: I don't have one and I've always wondered how people choose theirs 👀

Do you have any pets: Not rn, but I used to have a fish

How tall are you: 1.65 m

How many pairs of shoes do you have: I have... a lot. I’m pretty sure I’m over 20. Ik I don’t need so many of them, but. Yes.

Favourite song: I can’t choose just one! I’m just gonna go with some kind of top 3 favorites I’d never get tired of, which would be, “Baby I’m Yours” by Arctic Monkeys, “Read My Mind” by The Killers, and “Ode To The Mets” by The Strokes.

Favourite movie: Again, top 3, “How to lose a guy in 10 days”, “Interestellar”, and “Hercules” (the Disney one!)

What would be your ideal partner: There’s no ideal for me, tbh. Like, I don’t have a list of specific things I’d like that person to have. But if they have a pretty smile, like to read, and smell good, that’d be cool hahah

Do you want children: Not something I’ve reeeeeally been dreaming about since kid, but I’m not opposed to it. It’s like, if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. I’d be okay with both, I think (or at least think as of now). :)

Have you ever gotten in trouble with law: Nope, I’m quite the pacifist lmao

What colour socks are you wearing: They’re neon green omg

Bath or shower: Shower, always. I don’t really get the point of having baths asjkjs

Favourite type of music: I’m not sure if I’ve got one, bc my all playlists go super random. I’d classified it as varied.

How many pillows do you sleep with: I only use one, but I’ve three

Which position do you sleep in: If it’s not face-down, then it’s sideways, mainly to the left bc I’ve got reflux since I was a baby, sAD

What don't you like when you are sleeping: When I wake up in the middle of the night bc my bladder doesn’t know how to wait until the morninG, C’MON!

What do you have for breakfast: It depends on the day and how many time I’ve got for it, but I never go without coffee or tea.

Have you ever tried archery: Never, but that’d be cool

Favourite fruit: Strawberries<3.

Favourite swear word: I don’t swear that often, if ever hahah so I don’t have one, sorry kajsksj

Do you have any scars: Who doesn’t? I don’t have many that really stand out, but one of the biggest ones is on my hand from when I got burned with the clothes iron as a kid. 🤪

Are you a good liar: I’ve got away with so many of them in my life, I’m actually ashamed of saying yes...

What is your personality type: I’m always bad at describing it, but I guess I’d go with... easy going, super talkative, a good listener, random at times... Is it okay if label myself as kind and nice, too? Idk hahah

What is your favourite type of girl: Is this romatic-related? Friendship-related? Fiction-related? Too vague, guys. Too vague...

Left or right handed: Rightttt

Favourite food: BBQ RIBS WITH FRIES, MY BELOVEDSSS

Are you clean or messy: If you pay enough attention, you’ll notice there’s a cleanliness to my mess lmao

Favourite foreign food: I loooove pizza, sushi, and there are these two Korean meals called jjajangmyeon and tteokbokki that I just 🥰

How long does take for you to get ready: Tbh, it depends on the day. Sometimes I can get ready in half an hour, other’s it’ll take me two. What’s time, anyway?

Most used phrase: I tend to use the “STOP” and “PLEASE” a lot, but without context they’ve got no real meaning. Not that they’re a phrase, but..............

Are you a good singer: I can only wish

Do you sing to yourself: Yes! Not always, but it does happen.

Biggest fear: Not knowing what’s gonna happen to my loved ones once I pass away... Wait. Was it too dark? It was, wasn’t it? I guess I’d say fire, then. Prefer not to be close to it, thanks.

Do you like long or short hair: For myself, long. Tried to deal with short hair once and, nO. A BIG MESS. For the rest of the world, suit yourselves, guys!

Are you into gossip: I mean, aren’t you?

Extrovert or introvert: Actually I’m neither! I’m an ambivert, which is... interesting, I guess. Story time! Since I was a kid, I was always stuck in the middle, bc I fit in both depending on the situation, the people, the context, conditions, etc. I got my confirmation in high school. We were having this personality test kind of class in vocal orientation to see whether we were introverts or extroverts, and in what kind of profession we'd fit more. I came 50/50. The professor, who was also a psychiatrist, made me take a lot of tests, even those in online-completely-not-professional sites, and the results were always the same. So the conclusion was, "Hey, Nic, you're an ambivert. Congrats!" And that was that! 😂

Favourite school subject: Anything that was language-related. I love languages!

What makes you nervous: Er... many things. One of those could be when I was in school and the teachers started asking questions at random, bc what if they ask me and I don’t know the answer? A nightmare.

Who was your first real crush: There was this boy that went to kindergarten with me who was my very first little boyfriend lmaooo and technically, we never broke up! I just remember that we were A Thing, then summer came, and when we went back, he was gone. I just find it sad that his parents changed him schools and I never got to say goodbye. Anyway, shout out to Paulo Cesar! Hope you’re okay, wherever you are! 🤪

How many piercings do you have: Three!

How fast can you run: I avoid ruining. At all costs.

What makes you angry: Whenever people are rude for no reason. Like, it doesn’t cost a cent to be polite??? I’m sorry if you’re having a bad day, but it’s not my fault, you know?

Do you like your own name: I didn’t at first, and I used to change it. Now I’m okay with it.

What are your weaknesses: Why does this feel like a job interview? Akajskjas anyway, I tend to procrastinate a lot. Also, I’m a perfectionist to a point where I get frustrated pretty often if things don’t go as I would’ve liked to. Not my best moments, I’d dare say. 🙃

What are your strengths: Saw last point? Well. I do procrastinate, but once I get to work, I don’t stop until I finish. We could say I’m quite dedicated. And I learn fast, too! (Really, is this a job interiew?)

What is the colour of your bedspreads: Gray

What is the colour of your rooms walls: Lilac

DONE!! If you actually read all this, you’ve got my entire respect and you own my heart. Thank you so much for dealing with my stuff hahaha 🥺

I’m gonna tag @larrysballetslippers, @holyshit, @skyfulloflarry, @riddleandpottersittinginatree, @chaleshezza, @jostens-pitchtwo, and whoever else wants to do this. BYE. 💛

#tagged #💛

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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

Buzz cut - Tom Holland

a totally random idea that just came into my mind while watching Joana Ceddia’s video where she shaves her head, lmao

word count: 965

masterlist

Tom’s head pops into the bathroom a moment later the electric clipper starts buzzing.

“Wait, are you really doing this?” he gasps seeing you standing in front of the mirror, clipper in hand, ready to shave your whole head without a doubt.

“I told you!” you chuckle turning the clipper off and turning to him you let him take one last look at your hair before it’s all gone. “I wanna do this, I’m curious.”

“I didn’t think you were serious,” he quietly says stepping inside, his fingers running through your thick locks. He loves playing with your hair, so you’re a little afraid of what he has to say about your plans of shaving your head. You’ve been playing with the thought for a long time, watched a bunch of videos where girls just impulsively shaved their heads, a lot of them were recent. Social distancing and living in quarantine have been taking a toll on a lot of people, but that’s not why you want to do it. It’s pure curiosity and your hair could also use a break for once. It’s long, has been dyed plenty of times, it would grow back stronger and healthier probably if you did this.

“Well, I am serious about it. Do you think I shouldn’t do it?” you shyly ask, almost certain he would say that he doesn’t want you to do it.

“I’m all for it if this is what you want, babe,” he smirks, fingers still playing with your locks.

“Really?”

“Yeah! Do it if you want! It’s you hair and it will grow back!”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t like the idea.”

“I will surely miss running my fingers through it, but I think you’d look so badass with a buzz cut.” His fingers work on your scalp, flipping your hair back and forth, as long as he can and you feel lucky to have such a supportive boyfriend who is not obsessed with sticking to a gender idea society created. When you were you, this is what you heard from everyone: girls should have long hair. Short hair is for only boys! You are fed up with these opinions, mostly because they are absolute bullshit.

“Want me to help?” he offers and you nod smiling before leaning closer he kisses your lips. “Wait, let’s make a before and after photo.”

Pulling his phone out of his pocket he holds it up in front of you as you bring all your hair forward, smiling into the camera.

“Okay, let’s get started.”

Tom suggests to film the process, so he sets his phone up at the mirror before you get down to work. He helps you get your hair into two ponytails since he advises to cut them first and then go buzz the rest off. You just stand there in excitement and watch your boyfriend work on your hair. A few confident chops and one ponytail is off.

“Oh my God,” you gasp turning to Tom who is holding it up like it’s a fish from a pond.

“It’s crazy! Let’s do the other one!”

He seems excited about the whole process. Soon, the other ponytail is cut off and he switches from scissors to the electric clipper, the same one his hair was buzzed off with not so long ago.

“Are you ready?” Tom’s eyes lock on you in the mirror and you nod. Right now you resemble a mushroom, with your hair barely reaching your chin. Your hair hasn’t been this short since kindergarten and it’s about to disappear in a few minutes, but you still haven’t changed your mind.

Tom leans down and kisses your lips softly before turning the clipper on and then you just keep seeing your strands fall to the ground. There is this sense of freedom that fills your chest as you watch your scalp making an appearance once enough hair has been shaved from your head. Not an ounce of regret poisons this moment for you, only happiness and satisfaction.

He makes sure that it’s even everywhere, his hand constantly running over your head as he tries to find spots where it’s still longer, but eventually he finally gets done. Switching the clipper off the buzzing stops and it’s just you, Tom and your shaved head, all your hair lying at your feet.

“Fuck, this is so weird,” you gasp grinning as you touch it for the first time. You miss the soft touch of your hair, but you don’t regret it at all. Turning to Tom you are dying to hear what his thoughts are about your new ‘do. “So? What do you think?”

“You look so badass, babe! Put on a jumpsuit and you are the new Marvel hero,” he cheers, eyes shining as the satisfied smile never leaves his face. Cupping your face in his palms he kisses you softly. “I love it, it’s so powerful and edgy, I just love it. Do you like it?”

“I love it.”

“Then it’s perfect. I love you, baby.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck you hold him tight mumbling your love you too into his neck, and you are just beyond thankful for him. You wouldn’t have felt this safe doing such a crazy thing with anyone else, and you know many men wouldn’t have approved of it. Not that any women needs the approval of a man to change something on herself, but some just tend to think they have the right to tell females what to do and what not to do. But not Tom. He is always there, supporting you one hundred percent, no matter what and that’s why he is your soulmate. He is literally the sunshine in your life and you have no idea what life was before without him.

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh @shawn-youth @wildflower-cth @imaginashawnns @haute-shawn @curlsofshawn @learning-howto-be-myselfx3

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teawithkpop · 5 years

Text

[M] - Criminal - Oneshot

Pairing: BTS - Criminal!Namjoon x Reader (x Cop!Jungkook and Cop!Yoongi)

Rating: Mature [18+]

Length: 5.8k words

Genre: Mafia / Gangster / Criminal / Police AU ? very much smut lots of smut

Warnings: swearing, mentions of criminal activity, lots of dirty talk, mutual masturbation, phone sex (?), voyeurism, mentions of throat fucking, choking/gagging, cum play, cuckolding??, daddy kink, slight degradation - usage of slut/whore, oral - female receiving, unprotected sex, mentions of breeding kink (if you squint?), voice kink? … I don’t even know how to tag this properly it’s kinda all over the place lmao

Namjoon is the only man I would ever call Daddy… 😔 dedicated to my wife Spex @bang-to-the-tan planted the idea of Criminal!Namjoon in the horny part of my brain and provided some amazing bits of dialogue for him… go show her some love 🤧💖

Your hands are shaking as you enter the precinct. So much has happened in the past few hours, you aren’t even sure where to begin processing it all.

Your boyfriend of three years, Kim Namjoon, is a criminal. Not just any criminal, but one of the biggest crime bosses in the country.

You only found out from a phone call, far too early this morning, from the police station…

“Baby doll?” His voice over the call is raspy, and a little tinny, as if he’s speaking to you from within a tunnel. “Are you there?”

“Namjoon… what’s wrong?” You sit up in bed and press your phone to your ear, suddenly wide awake. He sounds strange, with a note of something coloring his voice - is it worry? Namjoon never worries. He’s the most carefree man you’ve ever met. Something is wrong.

“Listen, baby… everything’s alright,” he says, and you can hear some murmuring in the background, some clanging noises. “Just come down to the police station, okay? I, uh… I’ve been arrested.”

Your blood goes cold. Arrested?

“N-Namjoon, what are you talking about?” Your voice shakes as you clamour out of bed, slipping on your shoes and grabbing a jacket, already halfway out the door by the time he replies. “What do you mean arrested? What for?!”

“It’s alright, sweetheart. Stay calm for me, okay baby?” You can hear a soothing patience in his voice, like he’s trying to comfort you. As if you’re the person he should be concerned about right now.

“I am calm!” You huff, frazzled as you fish your car keys out of your purse. “Why did you…? W-what happened, Joon?”

He sighs. “I guess I should tell you.”

Your eyes widen as you put him on speaker, climbing into your car and fumbling with your seatbelt. “Tell me what, Namjoon?” Your voice is icy, fear clawing at your heart.

“… I’m not who you think I am.”

Now, you stand in the cold waiting area, your heart thumping in your chest as the conversation replays in your head. Namjoon told you all about his work, that he had several illegal businesses, extortions, and black market branches under his name. He wasn’t a CEO, at least not of the Bulletproof LLP - Business, Tax, and Sales accounting firm like he’d told you he was.

According to the police, last night he’d been arrested for organizing three simultaneous armed robberies in some of the largest banks around the city. The authorities had been trying to pin Namjoon down for ages, but he’d always evaded them, successfully erasing any trace of himself from his illegal operations. Only with this most recent case were the police able to tie his name to the crime. An accomplice - one of Namjoon’s underlings - had been captured, and had let the name of his boss slip during an interrogation. With this crucial evidence, the police had stormed Namjoon’s residence and taken him into custody at approximately 2:38am, while you were still asleep.

It's… a lot to take in. Too much to digest. The betrayal, knowing he lied to you for so long, and would have continued to do so… it twists your heart painfully.

Things had been going really well over the course of your relationship up until now. You’d been planning to propose to Namjoon some time in the next few weeks. He’s made you happier than you’ve been in a long time. He makes you feel important and special, and after your series of heartbreaks, his love for you had felt like a balm, soothing your past pains.

But now it looks like you’re facing another heartbreak yet again. The engagement ring in your purse will go to waste. Of course this love was too good to be true.

“You can go in now.”

The policeman puts a hand on your back and gestures for you to head into the visitation room. You swallow nervously and clutch your purse, taking careful steps to face your lying lover.

Namjoon is already seated behind the other side of the glass partition as you enter. For some reason, he’s the only one there, besides the guards. You expected there to be a row of criminals, talking to their loved ones like in the movies, but there’s just the one window. Just the one seat for you to take.

The guard on your side of the glass nods to you. He gestures for you to sit, and you can’t help noticing the contrast between the young man’s muscles, prominent even through his uniform, and his innocent-looking face. “You have ten minutes.” He says kindly to you. He shoots a look of contempt in Namjoon’s direction, then takes a stance nearby, behind you and a little off to the side.

“Thank you…” You squint to catch a glimpse of his name badge. “Officer Jeon.”

He gives a nod, his chest puffing out importantly as he locks his hands behind his back, his legs shoulder-width apart, and he settles his gaze on the opposite wall.

You slowly sit down, taking a moment to look Namjoon over. He looks terrible. There’s a cut under his lip, and you see a bruise forming around his eye. His hair is nearly as rumpled as his clothes, a once-pressed suit, now with buttons popped off and stains of what you hope is just dirt on the front.

And yet, he’s smiling as he looks at you. That same charming smile he always wore whenever he greeted you. As if this meeting was no different than waking up beside you in a hazy morning after a long night together. It unnerves you how at ease he appears to be with cuffs around his wrists.

You break your little staring contest and slowly pick up the tethered phone beside you, the only way to communicate through the soundproof window.

His smile doesn’t waver as he picks up the phone on his end, holding it to his ear.

You take a deep breath to steady your nerves. “You lied to me, Namjoon.”

His face gradually falls and he nods somberly, just once. “I did.”

You’re at a loss. This is the man you’d been planning to be with for the rest of your life.

“Why?” You can’t keep the tremor out of your voice. Seeing him like this, it stirs a myriad of feelings inside of you, none of them good. You feel angry. How could he do this to you?

His gaze doesn’t move from your face. He leans forward on the desk and you find yourself leaning back reflexively. “I have many enemies, baby doll.”

“Oh, of course.” You snort and look away as indignation flares up within you. He sounds like a bad movie villain.

He continues as if you hadn’t spoken. “If any of them were to find out I gave my heart to such a pretty little thing like you…” His face softens and his eyes darken momentarily, showing a flash of his insatiable lust, and your heart gives a flutter in spite of itself. “Then your life would be in danger. Don’t you see? I kept the truth from you for your protection.”

You stay silent. This all feels too… fake. Too cheesy and deluded to be reality. You briefly wonder if this could be part of some hidden camera show.

You catch a glimpse of the guard on the other side rolling his eyes and you nearly laugh. The man is shorter than your guard, and looks generally disinterested in his surroundings.

Namjoon’s eyes reach for you through the glass, pulling your focus back to him, and he seems desperate to touch you. “But I’m going to make it up to you. Okay, baby?” He smiles again. “I’ll be out of here in no time, and then I’m going to take you on a little getaway trip, just you and me, where I can spoil you rotten. How does that sound?”

You finally meet his gaze with a look of astonishment. He can’t be serious.

“Namjoon… I don’t know if there can even be a ‘you and me’ anymore,” you say quietly but firmly, with a slight shake of your head. “I don’t think I can be with a criminal.”

He smirks. His eyes glimmer with a familiar look of dominance, but he usually reserves it for when you undress for him.

“You’ve already been with one, kitten.” He gives you a small chuckle, more of a hum, as he leans closer to the glass, his breath steaming against the surface. “… and I know you loved it from how your little cunt gets soaking wet when you’re around me.”

You blush scarlet, your eyes darting around nervously as you clutch the phone harder. “N-Namjoon, we’re in public!”

The guard on his side raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. Your guard thankfully can’t hear Namjoon’s half of the conversation, but your outburst seems to have caught his attention, his eyes widened in mute curiosity.

Namjoon chuckles at seeing you so flustered. “Don’t worry, doll. No one’s listening. I gave the guards a little tip so they leave us alone.”

Your eyes widen. Bribery…

He winks, smug and unperturbed by his own lascivious behavior. “Does that excite you? That I can say whatever I want to you through this god damned phone?”

You try your best to hide the unwanted arousal stirring inside you, but your expression must be betraying you.

“That’s my girl… I bet you’re wet from just the sound of my voice, aren’t you? It’s the only weapon I’ve got on me right now, sweetheart.” He tugs on his handcuffs for emphasis, his eyes glittering. His officer - Min Yoongi according to the print on his badge - shifts his weight in response to Namjoon’s movement. You can tell from his posture that despite his laid back appearance, the man is ready to pounce on Namjoon at the first sign of misconduct, and you feel a shiver in your spine as you notice the taser hooked to officer’s belt.

Namjoon pays no mind to his guard, and a smile tugs at his lips as he stares dead into your eyes. His gaze is dripping with promiscuity as his voice drops deliciously lower. “Are you wet, kitten?”

You feel ashamed at yourself that your panties have indeed grown damp from merely a few words, but his sudden boldness is throwing you for a loop. You had walked into this room prepared to break up with Namjoon, and although you didn’t know how he would react, this is… unexpected.

“Answer me.” Namjoon’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Is your little cunt missing me already? Don’t deny it, baby. I know you have a taste for danger… seeing me behind bars like this probably turns you on, doesn’t it?”

In spite of your best efforts to avoid reacting, your core starts to ache from his words, and you subtly rub your thighs together. You hate that he’s right. “Namjoon…” you whisper his name, your cheeks still on fire. “We can’t do this here. There are people around.” Your eyes flick over to Officer Jeon, who looks like he’s pretending not to listen, but you can tell otherwise by the set of his jaw and his stiffened posture, almost rigid.

“Don’t look at the guards, baby. Just look at me.” Namjoon’s voice cuts through your embarrassment, and he smirks as you hesitantly meet his gaze. “You know what I’m going to do the minute I get out of here, don’t you…?”

“Namjoon, please… you can’t!” You whisper harshly, desperate to save a shred of your dignity.

He gives no regard to your worry, much too focused on making you blush. “I’m going to take you in my car to a luxury hotel, and then I’m going to grope your sweet little ass while I rent the penthouse for us. I’m going to rip off your clothes in the elevator, and I’m going to feel you up against the door, and make you suck on my fingers as I unlock it.”

His words go straight to your core, and a whimper leaves your throat, much to your horror. You clap a hand to your mouth, your face on fire.

Namjoon chuckles, and you know he heard it. “You’ve always loved dirty talk. Hm… such a good little slut for me.”

You look away, ashamed at yourself for being so easily affected. But damn if this man doesn’t know how to turn you on. It’s what drew you to him in the first place, that fateful night at the club when the two of you met.

“Namjoon, this isn’t appropriate,” you say quietly, trying to keep your voice even. He’s a criminal. He’s embezzled, extorted… maybe even murdered. Logically, that is not sexy.

But fuck, Namjoon can make anything look sexy.

“You know what isn’t appropriate? The way you beg for my cock when I get you on all fours.” He looks like a man who’s three steps ahead in a game of chess. “It’s not appropriate that you would gladly choke on my dick in the restroom at a corporate party, when you know damn good and well that there are people just on the other side of the wall who can hear you moaning while I fuck your pretty little throat.”

Okay, now that one just isn’t fair. A memory from that specific night he’s talking about flashes through your mind, and you squirm in your seat, a gush of arousal flowing out of you. “Namjoon!” You hiss, your fingers trembling as you grip the phone even tighter.

Officer Min looks like he wants to say something, but merely coughs and looks away.

“What’s the matter, doll face?” Namjoon teases, tucking the phone into the crook of his shoulder, his cuffed hands disappearing beneath the desk. You hear the faint sound of a zipper. “Did I strike a chord in you?” He huffs out a breath, his tongue poking out and licking the corner of his lips as his gaze turns lazy and half-lidded.

Your eyes go even wider and you nearly drop the phone in shock. “Are you… touching yourself?”

At this, Officer Jeon’s gaze flickers to the window, but if he can see more than you, he doesn’t comment, and he quickly retrains his eyes on the opposite wall.

“What do you think, kitten?” Namjoon chuckles, and lets out a sigh as he no doubt starts stroking his cock. “Why don’t you join me?”

You’re flabbergasted. “Join you?” You echo faintly, and your core clenches again at the idea.

“Yes… consider it my last meal before incarceration.” He seems pleased at the joke, and lets out a soft moan, his eyes imploring. “Touch yourself for me, baby. Let me see you cum one last time.”

“Namjoon… I-I can’t just-”

“Kitten.” His voice turns dominant, using a tone he only reserves for the bedroom. “What did I just say?”

He waits expectantly, the intensity of his gaze making your heart flutter. You swallow. “Namjoon-”

He clicks his tongue. “No. Bad girl. Try again. What did I just say?”

Your gaze falls to the floor. Your voice turns into a whisper as you stammer out a reply, blushing to the tips of your ears. “Y-you said for me to touch myself…”

He raises an eyebrow, still waiting.

“Daddy,” you tack on, your voice even more faint.

He’s satisfied by your answer. “That’s right, kitten. Daddy wants you to touch yourself. Come on. Don’t you want to make yourself feel good for Daddy?”

You bite your lip, at war with yourself. Sure, he may have a hold on your pussy and he may be the best sex you’ve ever had, but he’s still a fucking criminal! On the other hand… after this, he’ll be in prison. This meeting might be the last time you see him.

So… who’s to say you can’t enjoy it?

‘One last time’, says your little shoulder devil, and just like that, your willpower slips away.

You reach your free hand down, sliding it into the waistband of your pajama pants before you can think. You didn’t have time to change before coming here, but you don’t think Namjoon particularly cares.

“Yes, Daddy…” you breathe out your reply into the phone, starting to rub yourself through your panties. “I’m touching myself for you.”

You hear a small noise from Officer Jeon, something between a yelp and a cough.

“Good girl.” Namjoon smirks, and lets out another moan. “Slip a finger inside that little cunt for me. I bet it’ll slide right in. You’re so fucking wet already, aren’t you?”

You do as he says, closing your eyes, as if that will keep it a secret from the other people present. You nod in confirmation as your finger slips inside you easily. “It went right in. I’m soaking wet for you…”

He growls. “Good, very good. Slip in another one, and start pumping them for me. I want you to stretch yourself out slowly… pretend they’re my fingers, baby.”

Well, that makes things a lot easier. You imagine Namjoon’s longer, leaner fingers curling inside of you instead of your own, and soon you’re sighing in pleasure, leaning back in your chair as you finger yourself.

You hear him growl over the phone, and the faint but unmistakable sound of skin on skin can be heard in the background. You picture himself pumping his shaft beneath the desk, and you moan out loud. “Fuck, Namjoon…”

“That’s it, baby,” he grunts, biting his lower lip. “Now I want you to take off those pants. Lay back in the chair and spread your legs so I can see that pretty pussy.”

You hesitate. You look at Officer Min on the other side, and he’s staring right at you. He looks fascinated, almost… hungry.

You slowly do as Namjoon says, pushing down the pair of pants - one of his, actually, that you had borrowed - and look to him with a question in your eyes. He nods, and you gently peel off your panties, too.

Now fully naked down below, you shyly climb back into the chair, shimmying your butt forward and laying back. When you spread your legs, draping them over each arm of the chair, your dripping center is put on full display for the window, and you hear Namjoon swear below his breath.

Or, wait. Was that Namjoon?

Officer Min’s jaw is slack, his eyebrows raised in shock. You look away, blushing at his obvious staring. And that’s when you catch Officer Jeon’s gaze. He has a mirror expression of Officer Min, but he’s standing with his arms at his sides, and he looks like he’s been enlightened to the solutions of the great mysteries of life. You suppress a giggle. He looks so cute and innocent. You wonder if this is the first time he’s seen a girl naked.

“Fuck, baby doll…” Namjoon draws your attention back to him, and he looks amazed and a little proud. “Such a dirty girl for me. I’d give you such a nice reward if I could touch you, baby…”

You feel a little proud too, in spite of yourself. You and Namjoon had toyed with voyeurism before, but nothing to this extreme. You feel empowered and thrilled that all eyes are on you and your aching core.

Namjoon pulls the phone away from him, and says something to Officer Min that you can’t make out. Min nods and takes the phone, holding it up to Namjoon’s ear for him. Then the officer presses a button of the walkie talkie at his shoulder.

“Hold the phone for her, Jungkook.”

His words come over Officer Jeon’s walkie, and you blush at just how turned on Min sounds. You look at him through the window and he meets your gaze, his eyes like dark pools of glittering onyx.

Jungkook seems to take a moment to process the words. “Copy,” he replies eventually, and hastens over to your side. You hand him to phone, and he holds it up beside your ear so you can still communicate with Namjoon, who’s now standing up with his cock in his hand.

“Now why don’t you stick those pretty fingers back in that pretty cunt for me…? Fuck, that’s it, baby girl.” He moans as you follow his orders to the letter, and he spits into his hand, pumping himself a little faster.

You spread your lower lips before slowly inserting your fingers. You even put in a third digit, but it still feels woefully inadequate compared to what you know his fingers feel like.

“Daddy…” you whimper, rocking your hips up as you fuck yourself. “I’m still so empty.” You feel a little shy at being so lewd with someone hovering by your shoulder, but at this point, you’re too turned on to let it stop you.

“Aw, does my pretty kitten need filling? Is her greedy pussy just begging to be stuffed with some cock?” Namjoon squeezes the head of his shaft, hissing through his teeth as a bead of precum leaks from the tip. “I’m going to bend you over and fuck you senseless, sweetheart. The minute I get out of here, I’ll stuff you so full of cock that you won’t be able to see straight.”

“Yes! Please, I need to be filled and stretched and bred like a good kitten…” You moan at his promise, throwing your head back as you try to make due with your fingers. But the emptiness is almost painful.

That’s when you feel another set of fingers at your core.

You flinch and whip your head around to see Officer Jeon, his gaze fixed on your pussy, a blush coloring his cheeks. He’s just barely touching you, his shoulders tense, surely expecting to be scolded or slapped.

You merely look to Namjoon, who has that calculating expression on his face. He smiles. Now he’s five steps ahead. He says something to Officer Min.

Min listens and eventually nods, a faraway look in his eyes. “Jungkook… go ahead and finger her.”

Your heart flutters. You take the phone back and hold it to your ear to leave Jungkook’s hands free.

“Do you want his fingers stuffed inside you, baby?” Namjoon’s voice is low and dangerous.

“Yes, fuck yes…” you murmur, gasping as Jungkook’s soft fingers rub between your folds.

“Try again.” Namjoon replies. “You only want Daddy’s fingers. Look at me while he fucks you and moan for me and my fingers. Not him. Understand?”

You rip your gaze away from Jungkook and focus it on Namjoon, already feeling hot from all this. “Yes, Daddy. I only want your fingers inside me.”

“Good girl.” Namjoon strokes himself faster as Jungkook starts to finger you, the slapping sound over the phone growing more frequent.

“Ah! Namjoon…” You moan for him, even though it’s Jungkook’s fingers curling into you and stretching you open. You can tell he’s inexperienced based on his technique, but somehow he’s still hitting all the right places inside of you, and his pace is perfect.

You find yourself rocking your hips into his fingers, grinding down on his hand as he experimentally adds a third finger, and you moan loudly.

“How does that feel, kitten?” The voice is Officer Min’s, coming crackly over Jungkook’s walkie. “I know you like his voice, don’t you? But it’s still me behind this. I’m still your Daddy…” You don’t dare break your gaze away from Namjoon, but you can see that only the listening end of the phone is at his ear. The talking end is twisted away, and he’s feeding words to Min Yoongi to say to you.

All the pleasure you’re feeling from two strangers, it’s all an extension of him. Of Namjoon. He’s moving them around like pawns on a chess board, like perverted puppets on a string.

Fuck, you feel like you’re in a pornographic episode of the Twilight Zone.

“Now lick her pussy. Eat her out right for me.”

Jungkook takes no time at all to fall to his knees in front of your chair, and he’s soon nosing your clit and giving a few experimental licks up along your swollen folds. You grip the arms of your chair, electricity buzzing up your spine at the contact. “Namjoon!” you cry out, your breath coming up short as Jungkook licks into you and laps at your entrance like a man starved.

“Yes, baby… fuck, you look so dirty like this. Such a good little whore, so good for me.” Min Yoongi’s voice is downright sinful. You suspect he’s touching himself too from the weight of his breath into the walkie talkie. But some part of you realizes he doesn’t have enough hands to hold the phone, operate the walkie, and jerk himself off.

You look over in curiosity and see him grinding up against the desk, desperate for some friction. His head hangs low, his hair falling into his eyes, and the image is so hot, another gush of arousal seeps out of you, at which Jungkook moans and he slurps it up greedily.

“Bad girl. Only look at me, remember?” Ah… fuck.”

You suspect that last part was just Yoongi, but you obediently turn your gaze back to Namjoon, lazily jerking himself off only a foot away from where another man is eating you out.

“Better. Such a good kitten. Go ahead and fuck her, Jungkook.” There’s a gasp and another groan. “Fuck, turn the goddamn chair so we can see.”

You nearly chuckle at Yoongi’s adlib, so eager to see you fucked by his fellow officer. You wonder briefly if the two of them are friends, or merely colleagues. You can’t decide which situation would be hotter.

You can hear Jungkook fumbling with undoing his belt and shoving down his pants. Thankfully he doesn’t take long to fish out his dick, and you can soon feel the tip of his head brushing along your wet folds.

“Fuck her. Don’t - ah… - don’t hold back.”

Jungkook doesn’t hold back. He pushes into you with no warning, and you close your eyes and bite back a cry of pain as he stretches you to your limit, sheathing his thick cock inside of you. He’s at least as big as Namjoon, and that’s saying something. You feel like he might split you apart as he starts fucking you roughly, gripping your waist and snapping his hips into you at a rapid pace.

“Good job. Keep going.”

Once you adapt to his size and speed, you open your eyes and return your gaze to your lover.

Namjoon’s face is downright diabolical as he leads this little circus of sexual activity, and you can suddenly see him as the crime boss he is. The slightly crazed look in his eye as Jungkook fucks you sheds a new light on your image of him.

He’s a mastermind. A diabolical genius.

You moan rhythmically as Jungkook grunts and slams you into the chair with every thrust of his cock, and you can see Namjoon and Yoongi getting off to the sight of it.

“Fuck… I… yes, good… good kitten.” Yoongi sounds desperate, and you hear a loud thunk as he finally drops the phone, his own pleasure overpowering anything else. Your eyes flicker to him as he unzips his pants and pulls out his cock, hastily pumping his length.

Namjoon says something to him and Yoongi huffs a laugh, still focused on bringing some relief to his aching member.

“Can you hear me, baby?”

You nod, looking between him and Yoongi. You didn’t catch whether Namjoon had told him to say that.

“Good. Jungkook, I want you to shove three fingers into her mouth.”

Namjoon hadn’t said that. But he doesn’t look mad?

Fuck… is he letting Yoongi call some shots?

Jungkook doesn’t care who gave the order, he just complies, bringing his fingers up to your mouth. You suck them in greedily, moaning around them as he picks up the pace at your hips.

“Good… now push them deeper. Make her gag on them.”

You feel him do as they say, and soon his smooth fingers brush your gag reflex. You choke, your throat contracting around his digits, and he groans loudly.

“Yes, just like that…”

“Fuck, that’s hot.” Jungkook mutters, pouding into you even harder. “Do it again.”

You gag obediently around his fingers, choking and gurgling as drool starts to drip down your chin.

“Shit…”

You moan and bask in their lustful gazes, feeling confident and sexy from all the attention. Namjoon is squeezing the base of his shaft, stalling his orgasm, and you wish he could unload it inside you.

“Cum inside her, Jungkook.”

Oh, it’s as if he read your mind. “Yes, Daddy! Fuck, please dump all your cum inside my greedy cunt…” you whine desperately, and although the words are for Namjoon, Jungkook’s jaw clenches and he fucks you so hard the chair starts wobbling.

“Ah! Oh, fuck, Namjoon!” You scream in pleasure, and you can see Namjoon starting to pump himself again.

“Say their names.”

You blink and look to Namjoon. He gives you a nod of confirmation.

“Jungkook!” You gasp, clinging onto him as he fucks you into the chair. “Ah! Yoongi!”

“Yes… fuck! Ah…”

You hear Yoongi’s voice and look over to see his release splattered all over the glass. The sight stirs some dark pleasure within you and you hastily reach down to rub your clit, feeling your own climax is near.

“Say my name again…” Jungkook huffs, and he leans down to lick and suck at your neck.

You moan. “Jungkook! Ah! Yes… cum for me, Jungkook…”

His breathing gets a little faster and with a few final thrusts, he moans loudly and spills his load inside of you, filling you to the brim with his cum. “Fuck… fuck…” He pants, catching his breath as he leaves his cock sheathed within you.

Feeling him coat your walls tips you over the edge, and your climax hits you in a giant wave. “Oh, fuck! I’m cumming!” You scream in pleasure, your core spasming around Jungkook’s cock. Your entire body feels lighter as the spasms slow and you ride out your high, stars dancing behind your vision.

“Get ready.”

You look to Namjoon and don’t tear your gaze away from him, not about to miss it this time. Yoongi holds down the walkie button so you can hear Namjoon’s climax. You watch raptly as he pumps his shaft, faster and faster, and after a few moments, he too cums all over the partition window, his semen shooting onto the glass in thick bursts.

“Fuck, baby!” He groans loudly, squeezing his cock to milk the last drops out of it. “Yes… yes… you’re such a good slut, taking Daddy’s cock so well…”

You feel a shiver of pleasure as he praises you for being fucked by a stranger in lieu of himself. It feels so wrong, but damn it felt so good…

Jungkook finally pulls out of you, and he looks almost shy. “Uh… thanks,” he says quietly, zipping up his pants again and giving you a little nod before he walks back to his previous position behind you.

“Let me see, baby.”

You lick your lips, looking back to Namjoon, whose gaze is half-lidded as he comes down from his high. “Show me your cum-filled pussy.”

You reposition yourself on the chair, spreading your legs even further, and using your fingers to hold yourself open. After a moment, Jungkook’s cum starts spilling out of you. God, you hope this chair isn’t used often.

You hear two sets of groans from the walkie, and Namjoon picks the phone up again. “What a good girl, filled up with my cum. I’ll remember that sight when I’m back in there, baby.”

You blush as he stares at you around the mess of cum on the window. God, you feel bad for whoever has to clean that up.

You spread the cum that’s dripping out of your pussy around with your fingers, humming and relishing in the wet noises. You hear Namjoon hum, too.

“So, remind me why you can’t stay with me?” Namjoon says with a sly smirk. “You won’t find anyone else who can satisfy you like that, baby doll.”

You know he doesn’t just mean the physical fucking. He means the mind games. The kinky logic behind what just happened. And he’s right. No one else could come up with something so hot and so convoluted. It’s scary… but sexy.

Maybe… maybe you shouldn’t close your options off just yet.

You stare at him as you lazily circle your sticky folds. “I won’t wait for you,” you say with conviction. “But if I’m still available when you get out… then we’ll see what happens.”

You pop your fingers into your mouth and taste Jungkook’s release, which happens to be delicious. Fuck, is he just good at everything?

Namjoon doesn’t seem pleased at first, but then he smiles.

“That sounds fair to me, baby doll,” he agrees, and licks his lips. “I guess we’ll wait and see.”

“Probably useless to mention it now, but ten minutes were up about eight and a half minutes ago.”

Yoongi’s voice sounds bored despite the illicit tryst he just took part in. He catches your gaze through the glass, and tosses you a smirk as he lifts Namjoon up to his feet.

“I love you, baby. I’ll be back.” Namjoon leaves you with those parting words before dropping the phone as he’s hauled away.

You’re left with a mix of emotions as he disappears from your view. It feels bittersweet, even though you know you should feel nothing, except maybe anger or betrayal.

Someone coughs beside you, and you turn to see Jungkook holding out your pajama bottoms and panties. Good lord, the boy is bright red. “Uh, here… you go.”

You do giggle this time. “Thanks.”

While you get dressed, he rocks on his feet with his hands clasped behind his back, and gazes elsewhere to give you some privacy. Your heart melts at the gesture, and as you stand up, he looks to you nervously.

“So, um… hey, I heard you might be single now?” He smiles.

You laugh. “Yeah, actually.”

“Well, um…” he looks down shyly and scuffs his boot against the floor. “I mean, if you ever want to get drinks, or something… h-here’s my number.” He holds out a scrap of paper that he must have scribbled on while you were saying your goodbyes to Namjoon.

He’s so eager and innocent. It’s adorable.

It’s refreshing.

“I would like that… officer,” you say, giving him a shy smile in return.

He blushes, and you can’t help feeling that maybe someday, that ring in your purse might be put to use after all.

#bts #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader smut #namjoon x reader #yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #yoongi smut #namjoon smut #bts mafia au #bts cop au #mafia!namjoon #cop!yoongi #cop!jungkook #criminal au #criminal!namjoon

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ghosty-schnibibit · 4 years

Text

late liveblog b/c i took the time to listen to the first ep over again :P

hey travis? hey- hey travis??? three in the morning travis?????

for real tho i am extremely excited for the new ep, and finally found some time to listen to it!!! this time i won’t have to avoid tumblr for like a week lmao

i can hear the excitement in travis's voice to do the "previously on the adventure zone" message and it fills my heart with happiness

god this music is just so good

how the fuck is that right??? i've played a rouge before and she in no way had a +8 to stealth

let him have this justin

the spectral cat from last ep!

i love argo so much holy shit

that is indeed very upsetting

awww, poor bud :(

oh baby, oh fitzroy my dipshit baby

"it isssss... cat" i love him so much

... argo has never seen a cat before??? poor baby

is he legit afraid of the cat

the voice is already slipping lmao

oh that's adorable! campus kitties :D

that's not a real thing fitzroy

so like a campus card, fun! i had the same thing at tcc lol

i think so? if i remember correctly from the past ep it's shared

"gary doesn't have time for love" :'(

he saw that one post i'm dying

it sounds like trav asked them beforehand, that's a neat way to plan for interactions before they happen and i like it

the dread pirate mary berry

"crush the beef" what does that mean fitzroy

what is this voice clint, you did not have this voice last ep, you've gone from vaguely ned to vaguely merle's fake scottish accent

"this turns to ash in my mouth" i love this

thank you griffin for this in character backstory opportunity

"to be by his side... kickin'" sounds to me like everyone's argo revenge plot theories might be correct

yummy! :D

mind chefs

fitzroy my sweet dipshit

he's a sweet sweets boy c:

"he's a failure" yes and i adore him

... god this class is just me all over

riveau, cool, thank you for the spelling notes

oh dang, that's a cool mechanic, i can see this wielding some potential narrative heaviness later on

i'd say about... a minute is good

i am so nervous for argo holy shit

argo's laying it on thick enough that i genuinely cannot tell whether or not clint got a good or bad roll

that was indeed a seventeen! go clint

... argo :(((

i legit cannot tell if this is argo bluffing the prof or if this is just clint being clint b/c merle and ned both pulled the "so am i getting paid now?" bit multiple times

i trust justin to not make this audio poision

owl professor :D

the dramatic music travis holy shit

so basically the middle ages lmao

"the golden age of accounting" t r a v i s

i can hear justin nearly combusting in the bg trying not to laugh and i am right there with him, this is such good world building but holy shit travis

basically reaffirming from last ep that the entire premise of this arc is the entertainment industry in a post scarcity economy, cool cool

oh my god this is such a mood

i adore bud so much

"sweet bird in heaven" pfff

so this prof is basically capitalism personified... thanks, i hate him

bud is 18 y/o me in my required "intro to college skills" class r/n

i am dying inside, this is so close to my own high school and college experiences, i feel like screaming on bud's behalf

I'M HAVING AP CALC FLASHBACKS TRAVIS, PLEASE LET IT E N D

"and you know what? i believe in you" i don't believe in me right now trav, i'm a 22 y/o adult and i have no idea what most of these words mean

oh god i just got the mental picture of all the other people in this class watching this exchange and it brought new levels of hilarity and abject horror to the situation, jfc i am d y i n g

this owl really is a personification of capitalism, huh? grasping at straws and concocting elaborate fantasy scenarios, desperate to prove that his system works even though it necessitates loss and goes against humanity’s inherently cooperative nature

travis this has gone on for like 15 minutes real time, f r e e m e

"why did the mind make acorn?" i have never related to a taz pc more than i have in this moment, holy shit justin

sign! me! the! fuck! up!

yes i did trav!!! i loved it and i'm loving this! i am so proud of you!!!!!

aww, poor dude :(

fun! this sounds like a really interesting idea

fitzroy continuing to be salty about his name lol

i want to see the skeletons do the charleston so bad, but more then anything i want rainier to be my girlfriend

poor argo lmao

awww, fun!

f u r b y

nice! :D

JESUS ARGO

nice rolls all around!

go bud!!! ^u^

i don't see how that would help argo???

i'm liking a lot of the skills travis is adding

yes! block for my gf mapleboy!!!

"im feeling dastardly" fitzroy baby, you're allowed to use magic, what you’re doing isn't cheating you absolute dummy

WAIT WHAT

this is badass holy shit, i love these teachers

jesus fitzroy my dude

funky twenty! nice

natural twenty! even nicer

aww, sweet sacrifice boy

fitzroy nearly killed him holy shit

festo???

oh fun! that sounds adorable!

oh god, nm, this character is so weird

jesus christ i am so creeped out

oh my god fitzroy what the fuck, you turned a woman into a fish

aww baby :(((

i am fucking depressed now holy shit

okay, i like festo now

that was a cute lil noise

awww!!! magic pet, i am so excited to see what fitz is going to pick

lil crab buddy :D

poor fitzroy holy shit

oh it's the rouge professor!

i do not like the creepy whisper voice travis, this is legit creeping me out

i am so fucking worried for argo

who is mariah??? oooh i am so intrigued

rain and stone... this is so interesting holy shit

awwwww!!!!!

"this is nothing" pfff

my sweet boys :')

i! am! so! freaking! pumped!!!

this was another really great episode! i know we’re still in set-up territory as far as how the plot is progressing but i’m already so intrigued in the world trav has made. there’s already so much mystery and foreshadowing going on, both in regard to the world and the character’s motivations and i am here for it!

i’m actually typing this around 5:30 am and queuing it for later so it doesn’t get buried in the tag, but i cannot wait to see all the art of this ep, especially of snippy lol. see you guys next right thursday~! ^u^

#taz #the adventure zone #taz spoilers #taz graduation #ghosty liveblogs taz #i'm gonna try my damnedest not to be late next time but it couldn't be helped

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shikai-the-storyteller · 4 years

Text

CYBERVERSE WATCH

S3 Episode 9, 10, 11, 12

Episode 9

WHIRL NO WHY IS EVERYONE RUNNING oh

Gosh I love that Percy’s alt-mode sucks so he’s gotta hitch a ride on someone

Whirl *gracefully descends from the ceiling* Percy: *PLUMMETS LIKE A ROCK*

No joke I laughed so suddenly and loud at that I startled myself

RODDY PLEASE RETHINK YOUR DECISION TO USE A WAR TITAN TO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES IM BEGGING YOU TO USE YOUR BRAINCELL

Whirl *jumps directly on the Titan’s face* Me: I’d die for you

Roddy: We need Windblade! Me: YEAH YOU NEED SOMEONE SMART ON THIS TEAM

Ok putting the masks on their head to hide from the Quints is actually a smart idea

“I can’t believe that worked” GUYS PLS

Aw I love that Clobber and Roddy do their little fist bump / high-five thing that’s so cute

CHROMIA AND WINDBLADE....Roddy you’re interrupting their date

Roddy: Clobber, you’re a lesbian, can you get through to them Clobber: Sure *picks up Chromia in one hand and walks off*

I feel like the smart thing for them to do would be to wake up Megatron and/or Optimus and use them to wake up other Autobots / Decepticons because like. If I was an Autobot and Megatron wandered by at a parade I’d definitely be on defense. Of course, then Roddy & co. would need to convince Megatron to help them so maybe that’s a no-go anyways

WHIRL NO!!! OH NO

AW I love that everyone’s taking care of Percy, Dead End holding his hand while running was so cute

HELL YEAH USE YOUR FIRE RODDY

HOT ROD NO!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE SAVE MY BOY!! AND WHIRL, WHO ALSO GOT HI--OH MY GOSH THEY KNOCKED THE THING OFF SOUNDWAVE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

IF ANYONE CAN TAKE DOWN THE QUINTS AND WAKE EVERYONE UP ITS MY BOY SOUNDWAVE I mean, assuming ripping the helmet off his head rather than waking him up normally didn’t totally screw him up

AHHH SOMEONE NEEDS TO SAVE RODDY

WHOA SOUNDWAVE YOU GOOD BUDDY??? OH NO....

“Something’s wrong with him...” “You mean more than normal?” SHUT UP DEADEND

LMAO HOT ROD STRAIGHT UP SLAPPED A QUINTESSON NICE

OH NO IM GETTING FLASHBACKS TO THE MOVIE

COURT!?!??? PLEASE SAY YOUR FAMOUS LINE RODDY

HEY CAN YOU GUYS STOP BEING BUTTS TO SOUNDWAVE

“There are an infinite amount of universes in the multiverse. The Quintessons judge which ones are worthy of existence” NICE NICE NICE NICE OMINOUS AND NICE

ARE WE GONNA GET TO SEE OTHER UNIVERSES???

WHOA WAIT WHAT SCIENTIST, MACCADAM WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

IS THIS GONNA BE THE CREEPY WHEELJACK WE SAW IN LIKE EPISODE 3 OF SEASON ONE???

You know I’m realizing the Titan thing doesn’t explain how Maccadam knows about the future, is HE from a different universe / future?? Has he already seen all of this happen before? Is HE the true Homura of this series?

RODIMUS STALLING TO ANNOY THE COURT NICE

Every time Roddy uses his flames I lose my mind in excitement

HEY DEADEND STOP BEING A BUTT TO SOUNDWAVE

HELL YEAH RIP ‘EM A NEW ONE SOUNDWAVE, SHOW THEM WHO’S BOSS

HEY CAN SOMEONE *PLEASE* SAVE HOT ROD

UH OH IS RIGHT RODDY

“I wish I was a jet” He’s not gonna jump is OH HE JUMPED

OH THANK GOODNESS WHIRL WAS THERE, THANK YOU WHIRL FOR BEING AWESOME

SOUNDWAVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Episode 10

I saw Soundwave in the thumbnail and got UNREASONABLY excited

AHHHHHHHHHHH IS THIS GONNA BE THE RODDY AND SOUNDWAVE EPISODE I HEARD ABOUT?!?!??! PLEASE??? PLEASE???

Hot Rod is the ONLY bot who could appreciate Soundwave’s background music PLEASE let them get along or at least be amicable by the end of the episode that would be so frickin good

“The Masters of the Multiverse” man what a good title

I’m so glad Season 3 has been so Hot Rod=focused, HE DESERVES THE SPOTLIGHT

lmao I love that Soundwave and Roddy are both crossing their arms on opposite sides of the bar, guys please you’ve got bigger fish to fry

This is embarrassing but I was legitimately so distracted by how nice Soundwave’s legs looked in this scene I didn’t hear a single thing Roddy said and I had to rewind the episode l m a o.....

Soundwave: I know you’re no Optimus Prime Me: *MORTIFIED GASP* THAT’S A SORE SUBJECT DON’T BE MEAN!!!

SOUNDWAVE NO!!! NO FIGHTING

I KNEW IT I knew he was improperly removed!!!

THEY FRICKIN SLAPPED HIM ON THE CHEST TO FIX HIM LIKE HE”S AN OLD TV IM CACKLING

OH SHOOT they already tried doing something similar to Hound oof

SOUNDWAVE AT LEAST SHARE WHAT THE PLAN IS

OH SHOOT SOUNDWAVE GETS THINGS DONE

I can’t believe they came up with names / jobs for these things

Aw Roddy I’m sorry Soundwave’s overshadowing your leadership role :(

“Maybe they’re trading beauty secrets” DEADEND PLEASE

I hope Soundwave didn’t tell her to kill him

OH NO HE DID, CLOBBER NO

Clobber: *crying while trying to kill him* This hurts me more than it hurts you! Hot Rod: No, this hurts me more GUYS PLEASE

I briefly forgot DeadEnd was a Decepticon and was like “Wow you’re not worrying about Roddy getting his head beat in?? Really??”

Gosh Soundwave looks so cool

“The evil back-stabbing music box” omg

Hot Rod: That’s not how Autobots do things Dead End: Yeah but like, we aren’t. So can we kill him

SOUNDWAVE’S INTERROGATION STUFF IS SO COOL I mean it’s mean but that’s an interesting method

AHH HE SAID THE INFERIOR SUPERIOR THING

Who IS the scientist

Uh. ok what is that brain thing. I WAS ASSUMING THE SCIENTIST WAS A BOT BUT GUESS NOT

Episode 11

Gosh the backgrounds in this show are such a delight for the eyes

*GENTLE GASP* BABIES!!!!!!!! ARE ANY OF THEM SOUNDWAVE’S BABIES???

AW OMG SOUNDWAVE IS THERE HE’S CATCHING A CASSETTE OMG OMG.....OH MY GOSH....THERE ARE REAL TEARS IN MY EYES

But at the same time SOUNDWAVE YOU CANT JUST FRICKIN NAB A BIRD OUT OF THE AIR AND CALL IT YOURS

Oh well I guess he can lmao alrighty then

OH NO....BOTS ARE DYING....GUYS YOU’RE TAKING TOO LONG TO DO THIS

how on EARTH did that work

OHOHO just Hot Rod and Soundwave I hope they learn to trust each other a bit

I’m VERY worried they’re gonna kill off Laserbeak in this episode

ALRIGHT. WELL. THAT SCIENTIST ISNT FREAKY AT ALL.

OK SUPER FREAKY HE’S WAY TOO INTERESTED IN SOUNDWAVE FOR ME TO NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT THIS HE SOUNDS LIKE A CREEPY COLLECTOR

‘‘A blue one...I don’t have a blue one yet’‘ UH OH UH OH!!!! OH PLEASE DONT HURT SOUNDWAVE CYBERVERSE WRITERS PLEASE!!!

DOES SOUNDWAVE KNOW THIS DUDE??? HOW ELSE DID SOUNDWAVE KNOW WHAT WOULD OPEN THE DOOR???

The fact that we can now SEE Laserbeak in his chest makes me worry we’re gonna lose her this episode 8(((

WHAT THE FRICK

ARE THESE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF SOUNDWAVE FROM DIFFERENT UNIVERSES??? ARE THESE JUST DIFFERENT BOTS THAT SHARE SOUNDWAVE’S ALT MODE???? IM SO DEEPLY WORRIED

“Why would he collect Soundwaves and not Hot Rods?” RODDY PLEASE THIS IS NOT THE TIME!!!!! That’s a very Hot Rod thing to focus on though lmao

I feel like the Cyberverse writers went “Hm, what would make Ana feel most anxious about her favorite character?” and then proceeded to write this episode exactly about that

Like, on the one hand: Good taste weird tentacle alien dude, on the other, GET YOUR MITTS OFF HIM

“When a judge finds a universe guilty, I like to keep a little...souvenir for myself” WOW THAT’S HALF WHAT I GUESSED BUT HE SAID THAT INFINITELY CREEPIER THAN I THOUGHT HE WOULD

HOT ROD PLEASE SAVE HIM FROM THE WEIRD TENTACLE MAN

I love how this team has exactly one braincell and none of the people currently on the other side of the door are in possession of it

“I keep telling myself I don’t have room for any more, but you would go so nicely right here” me @ me when I’m buying figurines tbh

That’s genuinely so upsetting, like if I were in Soundwave’s place I’d be pissed as HELL

OH BOY ARE WE GONNA HAVE A TOYSTORY 2 SCENARIO wrt THE “You’re damaged!” THING

“I’LL SHOW YOU DAMAGED” LMAO Roddy: *starts listing off all his traumas* Tentacle Dr.: Um,,

LET GO OF MY BOY!!!!

“A parade is the best you can come up with?” ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS RODDY

HELL YEAH GET HIM SOUNDWAVE and thank goodness he got fixed. Hopefully the guy didn’t do anything weird to him

I KNEW THAT WAS TOO EASY WHY IS THIS DUDE SO FREAKY

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT”S FEEDING TIME

EW WHAT’S IN THERE

IM GONNA LEGITIMATELY CRY IF THEY KILL LASERBEAK PLEASE DONT KILL HIS BIRD

Why do the words “Laserbeak! Eject!” get me so emotional WHY AM I SO HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THIS CASSETTE TAPE AND BOOM BOX

DONT SHOOT LASERBEAK PLEASE

Ironic for Whirl to be the one to say “hold your fire”

Wow way to abandon Hot Rod and Soundwave

uH OH UH OH UH OH

Off-topic but tentacle dude’s voice sounds SO familiar I just can’t place it it’s a really good fit

OH SHOOT THEY”RE DRAINING THE ALL SPARK TOO

DO IT PERCY SAVE EVERYONE!!!!

Perceptor you are ADORABLE

PERCY YOU GOTTA SAY AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT

THERE WE GO OPTIMUS

Oh boy let’s see how Megatron reacts to Clobber interrupting him

Percy should just summon a hologram of Optimus, that would do it

YEAHHH THEY FREED EVERYONE!!!

DO IT GUYS!!! HEAT AND SOUND!!!!

CHROMIA!!! :D

FIST BUMP!!!!!

AND LASERBEAK IS OK!!!!

Uh oh spaghettio that doesn’t seem good

OH WOW YOU’RE REALLY GONNA END THE EPISODE THERE??? HECK I FORGET HOW SHORT THESE ARE

Not to sound predictable but I think that was the most interesting episodes of the season so far

Episode 12

Aw man the judge is still alive heck

MY BOYS!!! MY BOYS IN ONE ROOM TALKING TOGETHER AND NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!!!

Optimus: We will work together to stop this Megatron: *half-hearted grumble of assent*

Bee please don’t reignite the war by bumping into people

LMAO WHY’S IT SOUND LIKE OPTIMUS JUST ASKED MEGATRON TO MARRY HIM

I love this they’re both like “frick this is so uncomfortable”

MEGATRON COME ON

HELL YEAH YOU TELL EM SOUNDWAVE nice teamwork!!!

KUP!!!! AND STRIKA!!!

LMAO THEY SHOVED THEM IN THE TRAINING SIM guys pls. I mean good effort but

Man can I just say it’s so nice seeing these two (especially Soundwave, the world’s most under-valued Decepticon ever) become respected leaders while getting time in the spotlight? I LOVE that!!!!

I should redraw this screenshot sometime

Bee and Arcee and Shadow Striker and Lockdown!! Such a good combo

OH MY GOSH HE SERIOUSLY DID A TOUCH REFERENCE

AHHHHHH SOUNDWAVE BACKED HIM UP WITH MUSIC, I KNEW THEY’D GET ALONG!!!! SALING YOU WERE SO RIGHT AHHHHH

I’D DIE FOR YOU TWO!!!!!!!!!!

TEAM SOUNDWAVE AND HOT ROD: THE ULTIMATE CAPTAINS!!!!

SKYWARP!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

Life-or-death video games really do build friendships

WINDBLADE!!! :D

Aw man are you guys still really gonna wake up this Titan

Windblade: Did you guys ask Maccadam about this first Hot Rod: Oh absolutely he definitely said yes don’t worry about it Windblade: You sure? This dude seems like. Super evil Hot Rod: Nah it’ll be fine don’t even worry about it

THANK YOU RODDY for being the voice of reason for once

Maccadam: Now isn’t the time for this Titan, we need to save that for the season finale

Can’t believe they’re really dragging a bomb through the city

Ok so like. Where is Megatron during all of this. Are you seriously gonna sulk and miss this whole battle Megatron

Arcee with her machine gun is SO cute

Someone please shoot this shark dude and shut him up

AW THEY BROKE ARCEE’S MACHINE GUN :(

GET ‘IM WINDBLADE!!!

HEY MEGATRON OPTIMUS COULD REALLY USE A HAND HERE COME ON

WHOOPS so much for the bomb

OH AND EVERYONE ELSE I GUESS?? FORGOT THAT THE BOMB WOULD PROBABLY HIT THEM

WINDBLADE PLEASE BE CAREFUL

BEE FALLING AND RODDY IMMEDIATELY DROPPING DOWN TO SHIELD HIM, OH MAN THAT GOT ME HURTING SOMETHING FIERCE

HERE COMES IACONUS AND WINDBLADE

Man I hope we get to see Windblade and Starscream duke it out with Titans

THANK YOU FOR SAVING HER MACCADAM I WAS SO WORRIED

“I’ve lost too many cityspeakers this way” OH WOW THAT CONFESSION ACTUALLY LEGIT HURT....Mac how many times have city speakers tried controlling Iaconus? How many people have you seen die apart from the citizens of Iacon?

AW MAN BUMMER PLACE TO END IT ok let’s do a few more episodes after a quick break (I’m still SCREAMING over that Soundwave episode)

#i talk #I'm watching Cyberverse #Cyberverse spoiler /#Primordial Robot hell

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wherethewindtakesher · 4 years

Text

weeeeee

the biggest thank you to @caws5749 for sending me all 134 questions 🥰

1: Name Lorena

2: Age 20

3: 3 Fears drowning, the ocean, and fishes.

4: 3 things I love my dog, my friends, and mangoes.

5: 4 turns on humor, charisma, telling me how much you want m-, and moaning.

6: 4 turns off being full of themselves, disrespectfulness, afraid to be themselves, and not showing a care about the well being of others.

7: My best friend k, f, and @brownmantwo.

8: Sexual orientation bisexual.

9: My best first date i’ve never been on a date!

10: How tall am I 5′2

11: What do I miss being fucking skinny-

12: What time were I born 10:45 pm!

13: Favorite color red.

14: Do I have a crush uh...

15: Favorite quote “I got STDS they make my coochie itch” SKSKSKDKSDKAD.

16: Favorite place my house.

17: Favorite food rice.

18: Do I use sarcasm 99.9% of my vocabulary is sarcasm.

19: What am I listening to right now “everything I wanted” by billie eilish because ya girl is depressed.

20: First thing I notice in new person how they hold themselves.

21: Shoe size 8 or 8.5 sometimes a 9.

22: Eye color dark brown.

23: Hair color black.

24: Favorite style of clothing baggy clothes or dark bold colors.

25: Ever done a prank call? yea. I use to call those numbers where it takes you to a different number to prank.

27: Meaning behind my URL its not necessarily an interesting story I just came up with it in my head one day.

28: Favorite movie too many to count.

29: Favorite song literally too many.

30: Favorite band three days grace.

31: How I feel right now fucking sad.

32: Someone I love my friends.

33: My current relationship status single.

34: My relationship with my parents its good! but there is a lot I tend to not discuss with them.

35: Favorite holiday halloween!

36: Tattoos and piercing I have I have two tattoos, both on my left arm. my finger tattoo is of a rose and my bicep is a ghost wearing a witch hat! piercing: septum, conch (but it closed) and my two lobes.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want a bunch more of tattoos and I want to get a few more ear piercings.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr to be cool like my older niece.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we do not. lots of love and respect left in between us.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? not really.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? NO BECAUSE @domromanoff and I ARE BASICALLY SISTERS AND THATS INCEST.

42: When did I last hold hands? years ago.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes to get up from bed and 5 to actually get ready.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? yes I have because I like smooth legs.

45: Where am I right now? my kitchen.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? no ones because they'll just leave me behind and laugh at my misery. jkjk but my dear friends.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? L O U D.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I do because rent in LA is fucking e x p e n s I v e.

49: Am I excited for anything? to go to bed.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? I have 2 of them.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? too often tbh.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? a few weeks ago I believe?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? they should because thats their baby momma.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? yup.

55: What is something I disliked about today? waking up.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? lady gaga and scarlett johansson.

57: What do I think about most? what tattoo to get, if I should get another dog, how to annoy @caws5749 that day, etc etc.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I can move the bones in my wrist.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? im scared of fish!

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind because I am a nervous mess and I like taking control of such.

61: What was the last lie I told? “im okay”

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? both honestly! I love video chatting with @domromanoff and my friends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes.

64: Do I believe in magic? hell yea I grew up around all that shit.

65: Do I believe in luck? not really.

66: What’s the weather like right now? its chilly.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? jesus christ I forgot the name but its currently under my bed rn.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? YES.

69: Do I have any nicknames? clown, wueej by @caws5749, pi- prin-, bottom by @domromanoff, lore, lorecha, whore, hoe.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I pulled my thigh muscle recently and OMG I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I SPEND IT HONEY YASSSS.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? sadly no.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? my water bottle c:

74: Favorite animal? I fucking love cows.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? crying lmao.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? nikolas is it not??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? “Judas” by lady gaga.

78: How can you win my heart? just be yourself and believe wholeheartedly of what you want and desire.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? “madi did it”

80: What is my favorite word? fuck.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @caws5749 @domromanoff @dailyavengers @ravenforce andddddd @supercorpbechloe there’s so many more I’m editing this rn AKSJSHSHSHS I love each and everyone’s accounts here!

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? GLOBAL WARMING IS A REAL THING YALL.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? i think so 👀 but im not close to them.

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? maybe like telekinesis or some mind power.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what goes on in your mind?

86: What is my current desktop picture? a winter forest.

87: Had sex? if oral sex counts then sure.

88: Bought condoms? I haven't bought them I just magically obtained them.

89: Gotten pregnant? oh god no.

90: Failed a class? yUUUUP.

91: Kissed a boy? yes.

92: Kissed a girl? yes.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? back in middle school lmaoooo.

94: Had job? yes im on my second one rn.

95: Left the house without my wallet? all the damn time.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no because im not a fucking asshole.

97: Had sex in public? not yet.

98: Played on a sports team? yea I was in track n field and cross country!

99: Smoked weed? I haven't but I once wanted to try it but I was to much of a pussy to skip class.

100: Did drugs? nope.

101: Smoked cigarettes? ew no.

102: Drank alcohol? y’all Ive gotten so fucked up on here so of cOURSE. my friends think I have a drinking problem ksjlksdjlkjds.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I am not.

104: Been overweight? yea.

105: Been underweight? No.

106: Been to a wedding? I have when I was younger.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? sadly yes because of video games.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yea when I binge watched the walking dead.

109: Been outside my home country? yes!

110: Gotten my heart broken? yeah.

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes because everyone in LA has possibly been to a dodgers game.

112: Broken a bone? nope!

113: Cut myself? oh man..I have and I deeply regret doing so but its a part of me now and i’ve accepted it.

114: Been to prom? YES! best night of my life.

115: Been in airplane? once and that was it because fuck planes lsjdkjlksdjs.

116: Fly by helicopter? nope!

117: What concerts have I been to? daddy yankee and some other guy I don't remember heheheh.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? duh im gay.

119: Learned another language? I tried (and failed) to learn japanese.

120: Wore make up? a couple of times. i’m not the hugest fan of makeup.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? nope!

122: Had oral sex? once.

123: Dyed my hair? too many times.

124: Voted in a presidential election? no but I will this upcoming one for sure.

125: Rode in an ambulance? no but I want to!

126: Had a surgery? no but I did have to get stitches on my lower lip.

127: Met someone famous? I meant jenni rivera’s brother at a movie theater once!

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yes? but not to a weird extent.

129: Peed outside? only because no one was around to open the door to my apartment complex and I couldn't hold it in-

130: Been fishing? I am T E R R I F I E D of fish so no.

131: Helped with charity? yup! I bought a shirt from one of @markiplier‘s livestreams that donated all the money to a charity.

132: Been rejected by a crush? yea.

133: Broken a mirror? I think maybe once??

134: What do I want for birthday? I want a tattoo.

5 notes · View notes

obannthepunished · 6 years

Text

uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains

"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up

Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"

Beau + Fjord taking first watch

Caleb checking out the dodecahedron

(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)

Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow

BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(

"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")

Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.

Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"

Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW

trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)

Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("

Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...

Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby

Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes

frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.

???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh

Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies

LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names

Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby

C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333

cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ

i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario

M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"

Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens

Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.

Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.

Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat

travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt

beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"

The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)

Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)

everyone rolled shite for initiative tho

Caleb casting haste on molly O:

Fjord is very very adept at everything

everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(

the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally

watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)

jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop

Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!

moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child

N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.

Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.

Beau goes down! D:

hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy

NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.

... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.

Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11

Cay using dispel magic O:

Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"

FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)

"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin

Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ

I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action

Two more fishfucks 8(

More call lightning

Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie

caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute

ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"

Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything

Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe

Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri

Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck

Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.

"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh

both yash and caleb are at ONE hp

B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER

Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho

Molly is Very Sick from losing haste

Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save

everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird" i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though

Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning

Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)

if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry

PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb

Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.

Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.

Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation

Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.

"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face

Calebs books are dry

wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.

Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces

JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road

Molly gets 12-13 symbols

Nott mage hands just so good even drunk

in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style

Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one

Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.

Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.

JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem, magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.

"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)

i was right about the orb being familiar

C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."

Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

i think its probably misty step and not blink

official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...

on the sword i mean

caleb tries to ID the orb

fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."

i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit

oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?

"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore

"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."

explosion was sabotage.

the pool is saltwater.

Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water

comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns

they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..

They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.

Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.

Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.

Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)

there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.

episode END

#Critical Role #Critical Role Notes

16 notes · View notes

stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years

Text

A kpop newbie’s reaction to LOONA

you know i had to do it to ‘em

Alexa: bold

Alex: italic

okay so today you're reacting to Loona!

o, noice

they just debuted like two days ago and everyone is crying

damn. ok but do any of them speak english <<

y es

n u t

i believe i already told you, they built this Loonaverse, and released a girl each month

yeh, you told me a few things

right. all of them have an animal and a color. the first five girls have an additional location, then the next three girls have a superpower, and the last four girls have a fruit

...alexa. t-twelve

yeah

<-<

>->

alright fam hit me up

okay, the first girl that was released, back in 2016, is heejin

damn she looks like a disney princess

she does;;

this is aN INSULT

isnT IT

someone arrest her, she's not allowed to be so cute. it is illegal.

how old is she and what does she do

uhh she's 21and she's a singer

she iS BORN IN 2000

... ALEXA WE'RE MOVING TO KOREA PACK YOUR SHIT

ill give you her music video now

alright

the location is hard to guess, so just try to guess her color and animal

hmm

*ViViD*

i'm not watching this u freak, you know about my arachnophobia

y tho. there are no spiders

THERE IS ONE IN THE THUMBNAIL, BIG AND RED

there are no spiders, so play the song, its good. no girl has the spider as her animal u coward

the song's aight. i'd listen to it in a cafe. her animal is obviously a bunny and her color is either red or white. asian girls with thick thighs are too powerful alexa. someone needs to do something about them. it's a health hazard.

omf. her color is actually hot pink;; but u got her animal right lol

o damn. well pink is the mix between red and white isn't it >>

ooOOO

pFFF

she's part of the first subunit, 1/3

ah, so she's a colonel

omG. i mean, y'know, subunits are some of the members that form like a band of their own and put out music

with 12 bloody members, i can imagine

loona has three. anyway, a few things about heejin

hit me

she’s a whole cutie

o gee i couldn't notice

sdfdsdf she likes dad jokes and randomly breaks into silly and awkward dances but she doesn't care. she's also afraid of pigeons

the guards would have to restrain me from pinching her cheeks if i was ever in the same room with her. and to be fair those things are chaotic evil. one literally flew into my face once.

omf

they also carry diseases similarly to rats. except they fly. so yeah, i can see why one would be afraid.

she also named a rabbit from the set "heekki". hee from her name, and kki from the korean word for rabbit, tokki. and proceeded to ask if she could adopt it.

that's adorable go away i am stone cold

is there anything else u want to know about her. her location is paris, and the first ever video of her beside her mv was her repeating random french phrases she knew in the airport

pfffF.

the next member is hyunjin

they’re all so pretty i cry

they are :(

they are like porcelain dolls, but without the creepiness of a doll, just the beauty and cuteness

i KNOW. so, how old is she

hmm 20 and she's a rapper

she is ALSO born in 2000 ;D and she's a singer

here's her music video

after mark's video on that cat game, the thumbnail horrifies me

o-oh

alight so her animal is a kitteh. so she's the neko of the group, noice... is this a thriller film, geez.

ghjkjhghjk its just a kitten smh

an e v i l kitten

cats cant be evil. her song is very kdrama-ish

her color is... i honestly have no idea

her color appears in the first third of the video

green? blue?

she wears it

lemon

yeh, yellow. and yes her animal is cat lol. what about the song? it’s a drastic change from the last one

ok that last part horrified me. idk it's a weird mix between depression and a drug trip

so, about this baby. her location is tokyo, and she is the savage one

o-oh

shes the one that kept a blank face on a rollercoaster while the others were screaming. also, she really likes bread and croissants

and she's not a rapper smh. well, she does have a pretty voice.

she does~ and shes really sporty, practiced a lot of sports before becoming an idol

alright, off to my wife. this is haseul.

and no photo makes her justice

UGH queen

that jawline fam

i’m sorry i just. literally have never seen such a beautiful woman

alright by now i'm about 70% convinced that these people are created in underground governmental labs

m e. aight, how old is she

fucc it, she's uhh 18

she's actually born in 1997 dfgfdsdfgh

OF COURSE. sigh. that's just my luck

but i understand u

they all look between 15 and 20 anyway does it really matter- i- she's more pretty than she is cute. respecc.

this is her music video

her color is bleagh. i mean bleuugh. blue

omf

she's a parappa the rapper. but she's also a singer. idk her voice sounds like she can rap. was that plane just there and they used it or did they buy a gigantic plane prop for the video

(i really hoped alex would say this because this video exists)

she’S TRYING. her color is green but her location is iceland so liek,,, i guess the writers clashed ideas

blasphemy. they should have went for turquoise

her animal is a dove. she’s also the leader of the group, and the mom friend #1. she can speak english but she has a cute accent which i Love

awh

aaaand she’s a seal enthusiast

o. that's something

they went to iceland so she was like "omg a seal!!! hi !! that was a seal!!"

pffa whole cutie

she is :( she’s also really funny

anyway, the next one makes me feel worthless. this is yeojin

another flawless creation of the secret korean labs

her age?

that tissue-printing chamber in that korean lab from avengers 2? not fiction - they use it to create idols. uhh 19

:D she is 15!!!1

...

and turns 16 in november !!

Goodbye. Tty later, i gotta pack my stuff

dfgfdGHJH here is her song. its very cute because, well, shes a child

L O L I C O N A L E R T. those three dudes are terrifying. is that the joker wearing a frog head

mmmmaybeh

this is weird lmfao. aaand there's the foot fetish

you’RE HORRIBLE

why is the frog dude going all roaring reeo on her only to give her a fucking present

well, its a song about how she doesn’t want the relationship to move too fast, so she doesn’t want to kiss the dude just yet

that ending was just... idk man. this one broke me. her color is red, and her animal is a frog because that's the only animal in the foreground here idfk

her color is orange, close enough. the other members call her "bean" because shes the youngest and rlly smol and chubby.

awh ;;

and everyone treats her like a baby lmao

well, what did u expect. hmm i think i like the first one the best so far

o, alright

so, these past four girls and the fifth one form the subunit 1/3. the fifth one was introduced through the subunit's first song, but i'll give u their second song cuz its Better

*check out “Sonatine it’s superior*

basically, these girls have a very dreamy concept with a lot of piano and strings. the fifth girl is the pink haired one, and baby yeojin isn’t here cuz her grades were dropping lmao

shhhh just listen to the song

this song gives me the sad

u gotta appreciate the animu songs

i do, i was literally gonna say that this one somewhat reminds me of miia's second song

same !!

her color is W H I T E like my teeth. p u r e w h i t e

she haS HER OWN mv

the fifth member is vivi

shes chinese and the oldest

from communism to idolization. noice

so she's wot, 21? 22?

yeh, shes turning 22 this year

noice

here’s her song

a break from the animu songs. ps: they dont come back

sad. kinda stalkerish fam

ikr. shes a hooman here. but in the subunit mvs she’s an android

what

idk fam they go all out and no one knows whats happening

i am gonna get bashed for this but when she smiles her cheeks look kinda weird she kinda looks like a chipmunk? but not in a bad way

ghjkHJ she does;; shes cute though

yeah

her color is her haircolor lawl. pastel rose

o, nice

and her animal is deer

so she's basically bambi gotcha

she speaks english, and shes the reaction memes queen. and shes also very smol

awh ;;

alright, we're done with 1/3. is heejin still your favourite?

yepp

cuz we're entering girl crush land

o h

the sixth member is kim lip

LISTEN YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS

she’s cute tho

of course she is. they're all cute perfect goddesses. i'm noticing a pATTERN HERE

hey, shes mostly a tsundere

well, ngl, she looks like one

sdfgfds

she chose charmander tho 10/10

here’s her amazing mv. her animal appears for 1 second here so lmao good luck. her color is very obvious

white, at long last

the other one

FUCK

SDFGFDSD

red?

yes

that building is aesthetic would hang out there with my weird friends 10/10. the song is odd, but it's nice

i think the song really suits her voice

it does! that's why it works

her animal is an owl

n o i c e

also in one of her vlogs all she does is talk about food. she also keeps the members company while theyre shooting their mvs!! and shes also a reaction meme queen. she sings, but her main strength is dancing

yeah, i can tell

oh right !! she is in the odd eye circle subunit, and these girls have super powers. imma tell you now, the odd eye circle members are in different planes. like, theyre in different dimensions, not the flying planes lol

umm alright..?

anyway, her super power is speed. aaaand i think thats it with kim lip

the next one is a fan favourite. jinsoul

oof. idk man the blond is weird

oh, is it. i dunno, i feel like it suits her.

hammers in that "created in an underground lab to be flawless" vibe. idk, maybe a darker shade? like a golden blonde?

most people choose her song as their favourite

singing in the rain? is tom holland gonna come in and dance to "umbrella"?

oh my god

if not i'll be disappointed. the song reminds me of minecraft intros lmao. especially that synth part

geT OUT LMAO

the dancing is lewd af tho. so 8/10

well, so was eclipse. girl crush land

is she a necromancer? because those hips kill me and bring me back to life

i knOW. she can sing, rap and dance. triple threat. okay you cant possibly be wrong about her color and animal

uhh blue and fish. idk wot fish but a fish

y e s. its a blue betta fish. she said, and i quote "the blue betta fish is one that needs to be kept alone, because it eats the other fish in her tank. so i'm going to take over the group like that"

i- IS THE ENTIRE SECOND SUBUNIT SASSY

SDFGHGFDSSDFGH shes very oblivious and confused also idk if i should show you this but its hella funny and falls into the dumb blonde stereotype. she acts cute in a live stream and then she just

*that beautiful face plant video*

and at the enD KIM LIP IS LIKE "yes. whats next?" and looks through the comments

i-is she ok

yeah, she just stays there like ten seconds and then lifts her head while laughing. her superpower is teleportation btw. anyway, shes just very oblivious and awkward

nice man

the next member is choerry

oof, she qt. her color is purple.

yes. she doesnt like cherries btw

of course. why doesn't she like them? they're gud ;; maybe they remind her of all the bad puns she must have had to endure

i- most likely tbh. she prefers her actual name too sdfgfdsasdf. but choerry is a play on her name. cho yerim.

ah, i see

here's her song that takes a very weird turn and supports further the girl crush concept lawl

i expect lewd dancing. wot’s her animal?

a bat

e d g y. they made her eat a cherry. the monsters

i know, the madmen

o, here comes the lewd dancing. oof, that was short, but it was cool. back to... this??

it happens more than once. hmm, its a really nice song tbh

yeah, it was pretty nice

shes the bright, positive one

and managed to feed a squirrel out of her hand, so shes a princess confirmed

o damn how tall is she. she looks pretty tall in this pic

oh my god all of them are so small i literally cannot cope

;-; pure babies

hmm i think this is old information but the tallest is 165 sdfsGHJKJHJ

o damn

it says here shes 160. p u r e. her super power is plane travelling, like, shes the only one who can meet both kim lip and jinsoul. thats why i told you about the dimension thing

..alright..? this seems pretty redundant, idk. the whole superpower thing and the different planes thing is just odd. what purpose do they serve

well, its basically a whole universe, i guess it ties to the whole story

there's a story? uhh

yeah, but we won't get into that too much. here's odd eye circle's debut song

oh, this song is... something. i could live without the weird distorted voice. fucc yes more lewd dancing. well, that was trippy.

anyway, the third subunit is called yyxy, and it has "fall from eden" as their concept

the first member from this subunit is yves, pronounced as eve but it gotta be fancy y'know

oo, noice. please for the love of god tell me her color is white

no one's color is white

well, it’s not a color ;D

ug h. anyway, here’s her song.

hecc yes more lewd dancing

omf

the song is.. odd. GET OUTTA HERE HER COLOR IS TOTALLY WHITE. EVERYTHING HERE I WHITE. SHE WEARS ALL WHITE.

:( her apple is burgundy

what. is that- is that her color

yeah

...i quit.

fgfdghjkghjGHJ

well, that was something

her name is eve, so people speculate the song and mv are about her living a normal life after falling from eden y'know. anyway, shes the mom friend #2

o, interesting pFF

she was very awkward at the beginning, when she first was introduced

awh ;;

and her animal is a swan

AND HER COLOR ISN'T WHITE GET OUTTA HERE

fgfdsdfg shes also pretty savage now that she isnt as shy, but she takes care of the members, since shes one of the older membersGHJKJHGHJK

wholesome

shes very cute i like her uwu

the next one is an actual animu waifu. her name is chuu

and she is the full of cuteness member

yeah i can teLL. the second image scraped my stone heart

yes, she softens everyone. here’s her mv, and the other girl is yves. and chuu is more or less in love with her. lesbian icon

alexa ur doing the thing, but reverse

SHES LITERALLY STALKING YVES AND GIVING HER AN APPLE AND THE SONG IS ABOUT ROMANTIC LOVE get outta here

ALL OF THESE BANDS ARE BASICALLY FAMILIES YALL SHIPPING THEM IS INCEST

ASDFGFDSDFGHJ but yves just shot a heart at her

it's a music video smh

hey, im not saying shes gay for yves in real life, just in, like, the universe theyre building

ah, i see. the choreography is gud. and the whole music video is nice. and the song is nice too. alright, what's her color

peach

do these people only know red and blue variations. THERE ARE OTHER COLORS OUT THERE

her animal is penguin, hence her posing with a penguin plushie in that photo

awh ;;

and her fruit is strawberry. she also sang a kids show ost before she became an idol :( and the other members make her act cute sometimes in front of the camera because everyone loves her. take dis

:'c

when she does the winking thing she stops and asks "why am i doing this..." and the others are just "because its cutE"

s-STONE COLD I AM S T O N E C O L D

anyway, yes, we all love chuu

we have two members left, keep your head in the game

i'm in it to win it

the second to last member is go won

speaking of winning, apparently she already did

she is a real life doll- oh my god alex

yet another qt what is new. cute dolls. cute talented dolls e v e r y w h e r e

i remember her song just because of the way she sings "baby" there

*check out “One&Only” yall*

ah, i see. some nice cinematography here. she has an interesting voice

shes mostly a rapper

yeah, i can picture that. that was a pretty nice song

her color is eden green :3

n o i c e

her animal is butterfly and her fruit is pineapple

but does she like it on pizza tho >> that is the question

she's kinda cold, but shes pretty oblivious, the staff messed with her saying that "adam" is her stage name (adam translates to "small" in korean) and she actually believed them and she didnt get the joke either affdsdfg

;-; god bless

shes pretty savage tho, we have three so far

oof

she is olivia hye

and she does not appreciate olive jokes

she's pretty 0^0

she is~

wot's her personality

shes very blunt and she seems like someone that might succeed at being a famous blogger

o damn

she always speaks her mind. i haven’t really seen her play around, but that doesn’t mean i don’t find her funny sdfgfsdfg

pff the mom friend

hmm, she doesnt really take care of the others, shes the second youngest

o rlly

but she does boast about how shes the only one without a fear of heights jasdfjks

pfff alright, hmu with her song

her song is my favourite

*”Egoist” ftw*

s m o o t h. yeah, this is a nice song

ikr !!

aaand more lewd dancing the world is kind to me today

they never give it up

wot's her color and animal

her color is gray, her animal is wolf and her fruit is plum

o damn

here’s their song~

this is hype af. this song is nice too but it has odd parts

i feel like the quality of their music increased with time. the first songs are also nice but you can tell these ones are better put together

well, it makes sense

it has been two years yes asdfdsdfg

o o f

here's a predebut song. the first ever with all of them, but not their debut the intro and the chorus are the best parts ngl

that's a lot of idols fam

eh, 12 isnt that rare. BRRRRRRRRRAH

where the esketit at. that was a pretty good predebut song, all things considered. they fit a bit of everything in there

yep, here’s their debut song

this one's trippy. ah, that's why it's called "hi high" they're saying hi to me, and i'm high after watching it. UOUOUOUAAAHH

I ONLY LISTEN TO MUSIC WITH MEANINGFUL LYRICS

HLBJLNKBJLNKBKLN

do you remember any of them as your favourite or did everything already vanish

i like chuu and the last one but i think the first is still my fave

oo alright, i see. any last thoughts?

well-managed for a 12 idol group, nice choreographies (& lots of lewd dancing >>), plenty of good songs, gud stuff overall, 10/10. 11/10 for the UOUOUOUOOAAAHHH

noicE

alexa here!! oof, this took so long to put together;; also if haseul sees this please marry me goddess ily

i hope you enjoy this post, even though its a little messy!! pop a little message in our ask box too, it’ll make our day~ i hope everyone has a nice day or evening!!

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