My silly little (1030 word) analysis on The World is Ugly and how it's about homophobia/transphobia for those who care.
Tw: homophobia/transphobia, hate crimes, suicide.
“These are the eyes and the lies of the taken”
When you’re openly queer it feels like all eyes are on you, you get called slurs and lies and misinterpretations are spout towards you. Especially if you were raised in a religious space, you grow up learning that queer people are going to burn in hell, that you are a failure and a sinner.
“These are their hearts, but their hearts don't beat like ours”
Straight people don’t love the same way we do, they don’t understand us. Their hearts don’t beat like ours, they don’t live the same way we do. They don’t understand us, which often leads to them fearing and hating us.
“They burn 'cause they are all afraid”
Living in a bigoted/religious family, while being queer is hard. It’s scary, you’re constantly afraid, afraid of what would happen if they find out, afraid of what they’ll do if you slip up and out yourself. You have to misgender friends around them for you and your friends safety, you have to pretend lovers are just close friends.
This could also be referring to the fact that bigots are afraid of us, they might deny it but they are.
“For every one of us there's an army of them”
It feels like there’s an army of bigots at your door at all moments, threatening you, telling you you’re a sinner and a groomer. That you'll burn in hell if you don't turn to their god and repent for nonexistent sins.
“But you'll never fight alone”
I feel like this depicts a lover, telling their parter that they don’t have to fight the oppression alone. That they’ll always have their back, that they’ll never fight alone. I see this in my own relationship, both me and my partner are living in religious households, being told that being queer is a sin. In my case as a person who is out to my family (though they think I’m nonbinary and lesbian) being told that I am a sinner, cursed to rot in hell for all eternity.
“'Cause I wanted you to know that the world is ugly but you're beautiful to me”
Here the lover/found family member telling a person that while the world may be ugly, while they may be oppressed. While the world may be on fire, and dying, while wars may kill thousands an injure many more. That they are beautiful, that they are beautiful to them.
“These are the nights and the lights that we fade in”
This could be depicting the lovers/found family running away from bigoted families to be together fading into the night to live their lives together happily. Free from the people who harmed them and kept them apart. It’s a story you hear a lot, leaving your bigoted family to be openly yourself, it’s a story that I hope to have some day.
“These are the words, but the words aren't coming out, they burn 'cause they are hard to say”
I’m going to take ‘coming out’ in the literal sense here. Telling bigoted family who you are is borderline impossible, those words are so incredibly hard to say. They’re like burning fire on your tongue, in your throat. Burning a hole through your very being because you know they could ruin your life. Being kicked out is a real possibility, a terrifying one at that. They could get you beat, shamed, sent to conversion therapy.
“For every failing sun there's a morning after”
Life feels so isolating as a queer person in a bigoted/religious space, like the sun is failing, like the night will never end. Here we see a lover/found family member insuring that even when the present is so dark and bleak, that there’s a morning after. There’s light ahead if you’re able to fight long enough to see it, that you will survive.
“Though I'm empty”
You feel so empty hiding, so empty pretending you’re okay. Like you’re a hollow shell, trying to stay alive long enough to get to that light. Looking in the mirror makes you feel sick, hollow. Your mind whispers “That isn’t you, that isn’t your body.” And you know you can’t do anything about it till you’re in a place where you can move away and live freely. You look at your partner while pretending to be just friends and all you can think of is being openly together, holding hands in public and declaring you’re taken. Every time someone asks you “Why aren’t you dating anyone yet?” and you have to say you just haven’t met the right person yet, when in reality you’ll never meet the right person because you don’t feel that way about people. It’s such a sad and empty feeling.
“Are you thinking of me like I'm thinking of you?”
A good amount of queer relationships are hidden, quiet and unnoticed. This often leads to feelings of doubt in your relationship, you struggle to tell if they do still truly love you. If they’re thinking of you like you’re thinking of them.
“These are the lies and the lives of the taken”
Bigotry kills, the lies spread by bigots leads to hate crimes and suicides. Their lie take lives, their lies lead to dead children.
“These are their hearts, but their hearts don't beat like ours, they burn 'cause they are all afraid. But mine beats twice as hard.”
Queer people in religious spaces are forced to be resilient, we all know the rules. Keep your head up, avoid questions about dating, when unable to avoid the questions say you haven’t found the right person, blend in. Your heart figuratively beats twice as hard.
“Stop your crying, helpless feeling, dry your eyes and start believing. There's one thing they'll never take from you”
Here a lover/found family member is telling a person that they’ll be okay, to stop crying and believe that they’ll survive long enough to make it to a safe space. When you’re trapped in an unaccepting space it can feel so helpless, so painful. There’s one thing that bigots will never take from us, our queerness, our existence.
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