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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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Being Alone, Animals, and Apparently: >Hey guys, I wanna run a game Sure, guy, that sounds good. Let's go for that. Youve played in a few games, I'm sure you can handle running something >It's going to be my own custom setting, based on d20 modern Oh god, how is this going to turn out? >It's based on a book I've been writing since I was a teenager Oh boy, this is gonna be amazing >Post-apocalyptic future of the area we live in A standard take, but a classic one >Players are all equipped with Pipboys which operate as radios, inventories, and watches Oh boy! >Characters have energy bars that fill and deplete as they use their powers Oh boy! >Monster Energy drink is a energy-replacing item so important it serves as a major feature of the setting Oh boy! >Players pick an animal, a weapon, and an "element" and can transform into an anthropomorphic elemental animal form that gains extra powers and uses their weapon for super-damage Oh boy! >DM doesnt know how many core features of d20 in general work Oh boy >DM doesn't know the geography of the area we live in Oh boy! >DM doesn't know particular facts of reality Oh boy! >DM has a DMPC who the story is about who is the most powerful of the animal/elemental/weapon people Oh boy! >Much of the DMPC's plot revolves around a romance with the stand-in for the DM's dead ex fiancee Oh boy! >The DMPC's love interest dies tragically Oh boy One player dropped out within an hour of showing up the first day. The rest of us held on for a shocking number of weeks just so we'd have something to fill time with, and some place to go have pizza and hang out for a bit, and to have stories And oh. I have stories. The "elements" alone were... staggering. "Legends d20 Fallout: Mighty Morphin' That Guy Rangers >That Guy ran a game based on his post-apocalyptic tragic romantic autobiographical work in progress novel about people in the future using magic fallout watches to turn into animals Quoted By: *46403659 46403704 >4640397846404111 >>46404256 I've told this story a few times, but basically, this guy sets out to make a game based on the epic sci fi novel called Legends" he's been writing, based on his life, only set in the distant future. He uses d20 modern to do so. He had none of the books, never played the system, and didn't know how anything worked In addition to our regular hit points we had rolled, he saddled us with 150 extra HP. Why? Because he didn't know how damage worked. So, for example his main character (based on him, of course) had a sword that did 1d100 damage per hit. No strength bonus, no multiple attacks, just 1d100 d have characters who had d100s as their damage die. In fact, There's other fun stuff about the "combat system" I can go into later, but I wanna touch on the core concept of the game for a moment. It's ye olde post-apocalypse, after what is basically the Second Impact, a meteor made out of monsters and evil crashes into earth and reformats it into crazy world. The game takes place in the region we live in, which was kinda a neat concept to start with, but then it got out of hand because of none of us much geography Every player picks an animal, an "element", and a weapon, and those become our spirit animal/element/weapon. I was an ice wolf with katars, my friend was a darkness panther with a sword, and our other friend was an electromagnetic pteradactyl with a pair of berettas, at which point you might begin to see why I put "element" in quotation marks, because the magic system and cosmology were all over the map Quoted By >>46403692 46403978 >46404111 >>46430662 46403615 Here's some of the elements we were informed of or encountered: Ice Fire, Wind, Water 티ectricity. Plants. Poison. Darkness but not shadow Sunlight, Electromagnetism Nuclear Power, Acid Mental Healing, and I believe Drugs was one as well. I bring up darkness/shadow because, as I said, one of the party members was a darkness character, who could control shadows and use them to freeze people in place and so on and suchlike. However, the enemies were living shadows.. and he had no control or effect on them. Because darkness is different from shadow Anyways, we spent about two and a half, maybe three months of sundays playing games with this guy, halfway because the concept was so gonzo and he was such a pushover as a DM that we could basically justify doing any completely retarded thing we wanted, partly we had nothing better to do and felt bad for him, and partly it was fun to hang out and eat pizza and (as time went by) watch movies rather than play the game. I haven't really touched on the plot yet. We're locals in this post-apocalptic future, me a farmer and the other guy a raider (the third player, the pteradactyl guy, bailed out half an hour into the first session quite gracefully and never ever returned), and we go t this magical academy where, it is implied, we will somehow learn how to use our powers This is in fact a vicious lie The "magical academy is in fact a lawless hell-hive run by loosely disguised versions of the DM and his former fiancee (I say Versions because there were two characters with the same name as him) that was instantly and irrevocably termed "the mexican prison every time we mentioned it. "Lessons" consisted of us agreeing that our characters did nothing rational or interesting for 6 months at a time and we'd gain random stat bonuses or special powers that were either more or less game breaking than our current powers Quoted By 46403719 46403978 46404111 46403659 Between these wastes of time, we'd go do other time wasting things like chase a dragon only to have Version A of him come slay it, or scavenge for pristine cans of Monster Energy Drink around the remains of the cities. Which brings me, in a round-a-bout way, to the matter of the "combat system" You see, as I mentioned, he's never played d20 modern, played what seems to be very little D&D, and had apparently decided to hijack what Im told is some JRPG's combat system for his "homebrew. We're given energy bars, and every time we use one of our special moves the bar gets depleted. And our special moves are quite special. We can still use normal attacks, or we can use his totally awesome "combo attack", where if we get a 15-20 on the d20 roll, we deal an additional 1d4 damage! Or, we can use a "power attack" and, if we get a 19 or 20, automatically deal double damage, amazing! He actually wrote the word "power attack" down in his notes, then told us to it, and didn't understand when we seemed taken aback. In addition to these wonderful options, we also get some magic super abilities, like beam attacks or choking people with their darkness, or other things like that, which range between useless, already covered by abilities in the game, or completely broken. I had an ability where l'd shoot a super ice beam at someone with my katars, and get +d12 to damage for every chunk of my energy bar I depleted in the process, and that's where the Monster Energy Drink comes in because a single can of Monster Energy can be drunk as a free action and completely refill your energy bar And thus I became an ice drill Quoted By: *46403799 *46403978 »>46404111 46403692 I've sadly forgotten some of our funnier moments in the game, but others will never leave me. Like when our "ally", a poison T-Rex with a sniper rifle, kept shooting us in combat because the DM didn't understand what a "miss" means. Eventually we collapsed the Tacoma dome on him, us, and the enemy and that seemed to work out Oh, and all rope was referred to as "fuckin' rope" for no clear reason. All our items resided in our pip boys, by the way. Which was his exact description of them, no less You know how you can cause an explosion by filling a room with flour and then igniting it? It's a bit exotic of a trap, but it's something you can do. I told him about that once and from then on it became a valid combat tactic. In open-air areas. As a standard action Man, my mind's just boiling as I remember some of the other things. Eventually he decided +150 hit points was too many and brought it down to +89. We met a few people who he told us did 1d1000 as damage, but we never saw this in action Quoted By: >46403978 46404111 46404725 >>46406650 46403719 There was a fighting tournament that used DBZ rules, which the panther exploited by winning 4 fights via ringout. For you see, because all these people do 1d20 or 1d30 (he had a d30) damage, with maybe some extra dice for flavor, as damage, none of them had strength scores. So the easiest way to beat them, without having to carve through their 500 hit points using a sword? Bullrush. And the DM didnt know what it was or that it sted The panther dude took Agile Riposte and used the 25 dex granted to him by the DM being a moron and fighting defensively to take Attacks of Opportunity mpletely carve up enemies by exploiting the fact the DM doesn't know how often you can s the fast hero and I ended up with less dexterity due to the DM's incompetence. In return, I mocked the concept relentlessly. Whenever my character transformed from human to furry mode, I would do a power rangers henshin sequence "Blue Wolf POWER!" I also promised my next character would be a water crab with a sledgehammer for his weapon, so l could call myself "MC Hammer" and do the hammer dance, on account of being a crab. But it wasn't to be Two sessions in a row, we showed up and played nothing. We sat with the DM and watched then early-days Netflix for a bit, maybe had some pizza, discussed what we might do in the game next week, left after a half hour or so, came back next week, did it again, left again, and the week after that the DM simply didn't invite us over. The Legend of Legends ended as it began: With unbearable disappointment and confusion And that's the story of the worst game I ever played

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Being Alone #Animals

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