#the8 angst

[toruro]

— ✧ flight of the stars

"It’s funny; Minghao’s whole career is about being in the driver’s seat but somehow when it comes to you, he doesn’t know when to press on the gas or hit the brake."

you go following flights to the stars, and these cars can get us home (zayn)

genre: smut (18+ / mdni), f1 au, brief high school au, angst, fluff

description: being a doctor, you think you should feel guilty when you start to enjoy the presence of a “regular” a little too much, but who can blame you for missing your patient when he's xu minghao. you know—the xu minghao: crown jewel of SECTOR Racing, top pick of the season, and possibly the one person who knows more about you than anyone else in the world.

tags: character death (not reader / hao), discussion of medical issues, descriptions of pain, pining, racer minghao, physiotherapist reader, probably inaccurate representation of physiotherapy, also featuring kwannie, sollie, cheol, wonu, & hannie

w/c: 13.3k

fic playlist

a/n: oh. always thank u to @gyuswhore for helping me w this, and special smooches to han for going over this w me too ^^

smut tags. oral (m receiving), pet names (baby)

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Cheol is going to kill Minghao when he finds out he somehow managed to screw himself over while training. Well, only if Minghao doesn’t kill himself first.

It was just supposed to be a regular session, doing some standard neck exercises with Wonwoo, his training partner. General training shit—you know, the stuff Minghao needs to do so his neck doesn’t snap in half the next time he races and then—pang! Pain flares up in his muscles when Wonwoo adjusts the controls on the harness around Minghao’s head a little harder, the latter losing his form in a moment of unexpectancy.

His hand flies up immediately Wonwoo stops, shutting off the controls and loosening the tether attached to Minghao’s harness, releasing all the tension. “Are you good?” he asks, taking a step closer as he takes in the sight of the racer.

Wonwoo’s heart sinks into his chest when he finds Minghao’s head and neck unmoving, staring straight down as his breaths begin to grow shaky, and—crap, his eyes are glossy and—oh fuck, Wonwoo might just shit his pants.

“Hao—” Wonwoo calls out again, this time his voice drenched with worry as he reaches out to try and untie the harness from around his friends head, but as his hand brushes over the back of his neck, Minghao shifts a little and that’s when Wonwoo hears it—a sharp gasp following by Minghao muttering under his breath:

“G-get the medic.”

His voice is labored and Wonwoo knows exactly what to do and nothing at the same time. His mind is racing because holy crap, SECTOR probably just lost their best racer for a few months, if not the entire racing season, and it’s all because of this stupid neck training session, and—Wonwoo stops himself from thinking about what this means for Minghao’s work and forces himself to scramble back, running out of the training room and down to the nursing hall.

Five minutes and several phone calls later, Minghao is being loaded into a stretcher. He doesn’t say a word though, doesn’t know what to say.

Five hours and even more phone calls later, Minghao is sitting up with a brace around his neck, and his manager and friends around his hospital bed (Wonwoo and Hasnsol are to his left while Seungcheol stands on his right).

“So you’re telling me I won’t be able to compete for the rest of the season?” Minghao finally scoffs out after a couple minutes’ worth of silence in tense air.

“We don’t know that yet,” Cheol responds, crossing his arms over his chest as he watches the racer carefully. Minghao’s lips are curved down in a heavy frown but his eyes remain unwavering as he finally looks up at his manager.

“Fuck,” he breaths out.

“Does it hurt a lot?” Hansol asks worriedly, and Minghao knows that his friend is only just concerned for him but all the pain and frustration is already starting to bubble up inside of him.

“Like a bitch,” he mutters bitterly.

Seungcheol sighs deeply, stepping closer to the bed. He knows the situation isn’t easy for Minghao—it isn’t easy for anyone—and he’s aware of the stakes involved for the team. “Hao, you know we’ll do anything to get you back on the track as soon as possible.”

Minghao scoffs, not meeting the eyes of his manager. “Yeah. I know.”

Wonwoo nearly flinches at the stillness of his friend’s voice. “I’m sorry,” he finally says loudly, causing the other three in the room to look at him. “I messed up with the controls—it’s my fault, and I—”

“It’s fine,” Minghao huffs, tearing his eyes away from his friend. “It was an accident.”

It’s not fine. It’s not fucking fine at all and—

Deep breaths, Minghao reminds himself, but when he actually starts to think about the ache that blooms from his neck and down his spine, it gets harder and harder to keep his cool. He feels like he’s ‘bout to pop a vein from all the blood that’s rushing through his body, the only thing snapping him out of his trance being Wonwoo’s voice.

“You’ll start seeing a physiotherapist tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Best to start the recovery process early, Minghao thinks to himself, mildly calming his irritation. He purses his lips, trying to navigate the cluster of thoughts that plague his mind until he finally musters up the courage to ask, “How long is it gonna take? T-to heal?”

His friends look at him solemnly, and Minghao feels his heart sink right down to his stomach.

“We don’t know.”

“You already sa—” Minghao stops himself from saying something he might regret. “Could I actually be out the whole season?”

There’s silence until Cheol finally decides to speak up.

“There’s a chance.”

Minghao thinks he might scream.

“Hey Seungie!” you chirp, walking into the reception of your office with a bright smile. Your best friend greets you with only an eye roll as you approach his counter at the front, peeking at him from over his monitor.

“I told you to stop calling me that in public!” he whines, nose scrunched up as you laugh at the way he’s pouting.

“No one’s even here, no one’ll hear anything,” you try to reason as he huffs and turns away, refusing to look at you.

“Still!”

You sigh, putting down a brown bag on the floor before raising your hands up in surrender. “Okay fine, I’m sorry.”

“Are you really?”

This time, you roll your eyes. “Yes … Seungie—”

“I hate you!” Seungkwan roars as you double over laughing. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! I’m officially disowning you as my best friend.”

You gasp, stepping back and picking up the brown bag again. “Are you kidding me? And here I thought I would’ve liked to share one of my Americanos with you but I guess not …” you sigh dramatically, starting to walk away as you lift the bag to wave it in Seungkwan’s face.

“I was just joking! Come back! How could I disown you as my best friend—c’mon, you know I was just joking,” he pleads from behind you.

You grin as you turn around and walk back to him with a grin. “You’re horribly unpersuasive. Like your acting skills are actually an abomination,” you tell him, pulling out one of the cups of the cold drink and handing it to Seungkwan. “You’re lucky I love you,” you continue, laughing a little as Seungkwan snatches the cup away hastily with a bashful “thanks” under his breath.

“Okay, well ditto to you too,” he barks back. “Who else would put up with you and your ugly crying over Taylor Swift music videos?”

“Hey! Wildest Dreams is a lyrical, musical, theatrical, melodcial masterpiece! ”

“Okay, first of all, melodical isn’t even a word, and even if it was—” Seungkwan is cut off by the ringing of the office phone line. “I probably need to answer this but we are not done with this conversation,” he shoots at you.

You giggle, waving him off and heading down one the hall to get to your office, barely catching what Seungkwan is saying, or who he’s even talking to. It vaguely crosses your mind that it’s a bit too early in the morning for your office to be getting work calls, but you brush it off as you slip past your door and into your little room.

It’s a nice little space you’ve made for yourself; your physiotherapy firm was set up a few years back, and you’d even recently gone through a certification process to belt yourself as one of SECTOR’s physiotherapists. Pretty exciting stuff when you think about it—being able to work with such top-notch racers (albeit under rather unfortunate circumstances), and you get to do what you love at the same time.

Now, you haven’t actually gotten any big-shot patients yet, and you’ve started to appreciate that more recently. It’s not as stressful, and you don’t have to navigate a possibly awkward doctor-patient relationship with someone who’s dealing with what might be a career-changing injury.

You wonder when you’ll stop forgetting that your luck ran out years ago.

Just as you set your bag down and slip into your chair to answer some emails, Seungkwan is knocking on your door and walking in. “Hey, uh, this is kinda important,” he tells you, pointing behind him at his desk where he was taking the call.

“What’s up?” you ask, slightly worried by Seungkwan’s quick change in demeanor from playful to serious.

“Some doctor at SECTOR’s facility just called and—” Crap, you know where this is going already. “—Xu Minghao just fucked up his neck. Like yesterday. And he’s getting discharged from the hospital in a few hours hopefully and they’re gonna send him over right away so you can take a look and start working with him.”

You press your lips together tightly, head going slightly dizzy at the mention of his name. Of course, when you finally got yourself licensed to practice under SECTOR, you were aware of the possibility of working with him, but this feels a little too real and a little too fast.

“You good?” Seungkwan asks, snapping you out of your haze. “Lost you for a second—it looks like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“Sorry, just zoned out,” you laugh stiffly, turning on your computer and taking a shaky breath. “I’m a bit nervous I guess. I’ve never worked with a professional like him—at least not yet,” you continue to say, and it’s not entirely a lie.

You are nervous, and in any other situation you would try your best to just not think about the situation but given Xu Minghao is going to step into your office in a few hours, you figure you should get to work right away.

Seungkwan steps out soon, saying, “You got this. Seriously, you’ve been working so hard for so long and you finally get to work with one of the big shots!”

Chuckling at his optimism, you finally open the email application on your monitor. Your inbox is flooded with emails, most of which are a series of X-rays and MRI scans of your soon to be patient, and so taking a deep breath, you dive in.

“Hey Hannie, did you sanitize Room C?” you ask one of your (few) employees as he steps out from the supply room behind the reception.

“Shoot, was it supposed to be C? I’m sorry, I cleaned up B, but I can go to C and get it sanitized right now—” he starts to say, turning towards the supply room at the end of the hall.

“Hey wait no it’s okay, I just asked for C ‘cause it’s a bit bigger but it doesn't really matter. Don’t worry about it—have you had your lunch break yet?”

“Nah not yet, I was just about to step into that with Seungkwan, but he’s taken a moment to grab coffee from the cafe across the street.”

You chuckle, “Already? I got him an Americano only a few hours ago …”

Jeonghan laughs out loud at that, slipping off his cleaning gloves and patting his hands down on his scrubs. “You know how Seungkwan is with his Americanos.”

“Don’t remind me—he’s crazy. I don’t know how he ingests that much caffeine and still functions like a normal human being but—”

Seungkwan’s voice cuts you off. “I know you guys are talking about me but I’d suggest you take a break and go get ready because I swear I just saw a car with SECTOR’s logo on the back pull up onto the street right up front.”

Oh fuck. You’re already starting to feel awfully nervous.

“Shit, really? I didn’t think they’d be here as early as noon,” Jeonghan says quickly, tossing the gloves and turning to you for instruction. “Anything we need to do?”

“Guys, just chill,” you say casually. Ironic, you think to yourself, because you feel like your heart might pound right out of your chest any second now. “Just handle this like you would any other patient. I’ll probably have to talk to his manager, but while we’re doing that Jeonghan can take Xu into B and just ease him into things. Lay off the tension, you know? He’s probably stressed out as is.”

“Noted,” Jeonghan nods as he walks down the hall, and then you turn to the door of the reception where you see a group of three people walking up.

You try to make out their figures; that one on the left’s probably one of SECTOR’s health directors, and the one on the right is … that’s Choi Seungcheol isn’t it? The one who sent you the emails? He’s Xu Minghao’s manager, you’re pretty sure of it.

You straighten your back when the front door opens, clutching the clipboard full of prints of the scans you were sent earlier. Setting your eyes straight, you take a deep breath and finally take in the sight of the three people filling into the reception.

Yup, there’s Choi Seungcheol … and then Cho Miyeon following behind and she’s pushing a—shit, it’s Xu Minghao in all his glory.

Well, you’re not sure how wondrous he feels right now in that wheelchair, eyes cold as he stares at the floor. His neck’s held up in a thick brace that you can see reaches down under his shirt and over his shoulders; he doesn’t look up, and for a moment you’re grateful.

It puts off the question though, the words that linger in the back of your mind.

Will he recognize you? Well, more importantly …

Does he even remember you?

You rid yourself of the personal thoughts when Choi Seungcheol approaches you, holding out his hand to you. You shake it, strong and firm as he smiles awkwardly. “Nice to meet you, thanks for making time for us today.”

“No problem,” you reply with a nod as Jeonghan comes in from the hallway. “My assistant, Jeonghan here can take Mr. Xu to one of our rooms while I talk with you two about a few things. Does that work?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Seungcheol nods, motioning Jeonghan to Minghao in his wheelchair behind him. The racer keeps his head down as Jeonghan brushes over and starts pushing him down the hall to Room B. You wonder if he’s even noticed you.

As Jeonghan goes off, you turn back to the other two still in the reception and point at your room. “Shall we?”

Once the three of you settle down, Seungcheol and Miyeon sit across from you, the former speaks up. “Thanks for seeing us on such short notice—this all happened really quick and if you can't already tell, we’re kind of desperate to get him back in the driver’s seat as soon as possible.”

“No worries, please. These kinds of situations are exactly what I’m here for,” you tell them, and they both seem to crack a small smile of relief. “Now I spoke with the doctor that examined him at the hospital, and then briefly with Ms. Cho,” you say, motioning towards the woman on your right, “And there’s a general understanding that Mr. Xu’s suffered a pretty serious strain in his neck muscles.”

“Yeah, uh—how long is this going to take to heal?” Seungcheol pops in, and you sigh.

“I can give you a range, but it’s not so definite … I’d say between three to five months,” you tell him. “But again, it’s different for every patient. Muscle strains aren’t like a clean break or fracture where we can determine almost exactly when it’ll be healed … this stuff is going to take more time and it varies from person to person as well. It all kind of depends on Mr. Xu’s body, and that’s what I’m here for—to help figure out what works for him.”

“We understand that, thank you,” Miyeon nods, sitting straighter in her seat. “How often should he be coming in?”

“Hm, I’ll give you a definite answer after checking in with him today, but to estimate, I’d say around 2-3 times a week, while also using my suggestions outside of our sessions.”

You finish the conversation with the two after that, excusing yourself as you let them back into the reception before knocking on the door to Room B. Jeonghan opens the door from the other side and quietly closes the door behind him before pushing you a little deeper into the hallway.

“He seems like, really sad, so—”

“Well, duh. It’s a serious injury,” you say with a roll of your eyes. Jeonghan clicks his lips and nudges your shoulder.

“Whatever. I’m just telling you to tread carefully,” he says as you make your way to the door. You don’t respond to Jeonghan as you slip in. Minghao’s turned away from you as he sits on his wheelchair in the middle of the room you purse your lips before taking a deep breath and nodding.

You got this. Seungkwan was right—you’ve worked too hard for too long to be rendered anxious ‘cause of a silly little overlap of your past with your patient.

“Hi Mr. Xu,” you greet, making your way to the table right by where he sits, finally seeing him up close. He doesn’t look at you. “I’m pretty sure you already have heard enough about what’s wrong with your neck right now, so let’s talk about how we can make it better, yeah?”

You hear a gruff, “Sure,” escape his lips, and you figure that given his circumstances, it’s understandable.

“The report says that when you first started feeling the pain you couldn’t move your right arm even a little without it hurting in your neck, right?” you clarify as you sit at the chair between him and your table.

“Yeah.”

“Is it better now?”

“A little. Can move my forearm but moving my shoulder still hurts.”

“Okay, this is a good sign actually—you’re getting through the initial stages of healing just like normal. The first week or so of strain like yours might be pretty painful, but it’s over quickly and the pain after that should be pretty bearable, although it’ll take more time for it to heal.” You tell him, looking away to glance at the scans.

As he stares at the ground, Minghao wants to scream. Good sign? What the fuck are you talking about—he can’t even lift his goddamn arm without it feeling like there’s daggers plunging into his neck, and you’re here sitting all calm faced, pristine, acting like this isn’t his fuckin’ career on the line. Acting like your words are gonna make a difference as long as he’s in this stupid ass brace with this stupid ass injury in this stupid ass room with—who the fuck even are you?

His head hurts, and Minghao thinks it’s partly because of his neck, but it’s mostly because he can’t stop thinking. Thinking about the worst possibilities, thinking about everything that could go wrong and—well shit, he chides himself for letting his anger get the better of himself, even if it was just in his head.

Shamefully, he presses his eyes shut and takes a deep breath before finally lifting his gaze and turning to face you. When you look up from your paper and finally turn back to him, you’re met with the sight of pretty brown eyes staring right back at you.

“I—” Minghao starts, but it sounds like the air got stuck in his throat as he finally takes in your figure, and then he purses his lips together and turns back away. “Nothing.” the possibilities of what he could have been thinking ruins your mind just a little.

You can see it in his eyes—Minghao remembers. Still, he doesn’t say anything about it, and you wonder if you prefer things to stay that way.

“What time is Xu scheduled for on Wednesdays? He’ll be coming in on Wednesdays, right?” Jeonghan asks as he steps into your office.

“Uh, he’s coming in for a session from 11-2 today—which, by the way, could you set up Room C for that? I can’t remember if I already put that on the to-do list.”

“Yeah I did it yesterday after our last patient of the day, I was just wondering. You’re gonna lead it with him this time, right?”

“Yeah, since it’s the first session. You were right about him being … apprehensive—”

“Sad,” Jeonghan corrects you. “A sad, sad boy.”

“Yeah well, go figure,” you sigh out of sympathy. “Anyways, like I said, it’s understandable for him to be frustrated, so I’ll work with him at first to ease him into things and stuff. You can start taking over more of the sessions once he warms up to the whole process, and once we figure out and set a routine.”

“Okay great. Does this mean I can go out for my lunch break at 11:30?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” you reply with a casual shrug as Jeonghan thanks you and slips away. You shift your attention back to your monitor before glancing through the initial medical reports you were sent by the hospital, and then the results of your own tests you ran during your first session with Xu Minghao.

It’s a shitty injury, you’ll have to admit. A neck strain on the muscles closest to his right shoulder, not only rendering his neck immobile for a period of time, but also hindering his abilities to move his right arm.

Must hurt like a bitch—physically and mentally—and the image of him staring down at the ground burns in the back of your mind.

With a sigh, you silently wonder if you could offer him the same solace he gave you.

Xu Minghao shows up to your office two hours later with Choi Seungcheol pushing him inside on his wheelchair, and you’re thankful to see that his stature looks much more relaxed than before. “I’ll come by at 2, right?”

“Yeah, that’ll be great. Thank you,” Jeonghan tells Mr. Choi with a smile before taking control of Minghao’s wheelchair and strolling him into the room. You’re already there and waiting for him, standing up to greet him with a smile.

“Hi Mr. Xu,” you say, thanking Jeonghan as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him.

“Morning,” he says quietly, not quite meeting your gaze. The air isn’t as thick as it was the first day, but there seems to be some invisible barrier between the two.

“How’s the pain right now, Mr. Xu?” you ask, pulling out a notepad on your computer to jot down some notes.

Your patient’s eyebrows furrow, and for a second you have a feeling this might be harder than you thought, but his next words are more comforting than anything. “Uh, can you just call me Minghao? Mr. Xu is … it’s weird.”

“Y-yeah of course, sorry about that, Minghao,” you nod with a half smile. “So could you tell me how things are feeling?”

“I guess it hurts less. I don’t really move that much so I can avoid hurting myself though—kinda in this thing most of the time anyways,” he replies gruffly, hitting the left side of the wheelchair with his palm.

“Do you stand up? Walk around at all?”

“Not often.”

“Okay so I think we’re going to try and change that soon,” you tell him. “We’ll do some mobility checks today but if it doesn’t hurt to move your shoulder a little, then I think it’s best you move as much as you can without pain. Honestly, you’re going to be injured for a while and—”

You pause when you hear Minghao inhale sharply at that, making a mental note to soften your words a little.

“—and we don’t want you to be immobile. If you can move, try to. We’ll try and get you out of the wheelchair within the next two weeks, how does that sound?”

Minghao’s ears perk up at that. “Two weeks? Only?”

You nod happily at his sudden energy and the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Yeah, you know the wheelchair is just so you don’t move your upper body too much but like I said the last time we met, the initial stages are pretty painful but once it’s over, you’ll be more mobile. Of course, you won’t be able to get back to racing and training right away, but you’ll be able to be a lot more active than you are now.”

“How long will it take before I can start training again?” Minghao asks curiously, finally looking you straight in the eye with parted lips.

The desperation is painful to watch.

“I don’t know,” you tell him honestly, watching his shoulders deflate. “At least two months.”

“Two months?”

“At the least,” you say with a held breath.

“At the most?” Minghao asks hopefully.

You purse your lips. “At the most? … A year?”

“A year? That’s more than a whole racing season!”

“Yes but neck strains are fickle and we can’t let anything go wrong, and due to the nature of your sport, you really—”

“I think I know the nature of my own sport,” Minghao scoffs, and with the way he says it, you don’t know if you should be mad or sad or disappointed or a mix of all three.

“I—” you pause, “I understand your frustration Mr.—Minghao, but my job is to make sure you’re one hundred percent healed before you set foot on the track again, so please be patient and allow yourself to heal.”

Something about those last few words rings in Minghao’s ears, and he zones out for the rest of what you’re saying.

Allow yourself to heal. Fuck.

Minghao stays pretty much silent for the rest of the session, and you’re not quite sure if it’s out of complacency or indifference. You go through some slow mobility exercises, and figure out a good range for him to stay in for the next few days.

“Make sure you practice those movements every day,” you note once you near the end of today’s session. “I’ll send you an email listing all of them with instructions so you remember. Please try and do them every day, and it’ll hopefully speed up the recovery process.”

“Thanks,” Minghao murmurs as he carefully sits back down in his wheelchair.

“Is there anything else you’re doing in your free time right now?” you ask, trying to make casual conversation as you start to type up your list.

“Not really. I watch practice videos and stuff, I guess.”

You hum, not really responding until you finally finish the list and send it to his email. “I sent the list, you should start using it tomorrow. Anyways, I think you should try crocheting,” you tell him casually.

Minghao gives you a sideways glance as he raises an eyebrow. “… Crocheting?”

“Yeah,” you say with a shrug, finally turning around to face. “You know, with yarn and stuff.”

“I know what crocheting is.”

“I-I know,” you say awkwardly, slightly thrown off your game by his bluntness. “You won’t have to move your shoulders, only your forearms, so it’s fine.”

“But why?”

“It’s fun. And a nice way to pass time, especially when you can’t move around a lot. Plus, it’s always good to have something to distract yourself from—” You pause, thinking about how to finish your sentence. “—from shitty stuff, y’know?”

Minghao chuckles, and your heart swells a little when you finally see him break a smile. “Yeah, I guess.” There’s a long pause. “Shitty stuff, huh?”

You laugh, nodding. “Yeah. Shitty stuff.”

“You and your stupid Americanos,” you sigh, watching Seungwkan grin as the barista hands him his drink.

“Stop acting like you don’t indulge in me too. Getting me all those Americanos in the morning … I should blame you for this addiction!”

“So you admit it’s an addiction!” you exclaim triumphantly, waving your hands in the air. Seungkwan rolls his eyes, leaving you to sit at a table in one of the corners of the cafe. Laughing at his silent admission of defeat, you wait for your drink patiently.

It’s only a few more moments before the barista is back at the counter, calling out, “Honey lavender latte!” With a smile, you walk over, about to reach for the drink before a hand beats you to it.

Frowning, you look up at the man who’s holding your drink before you say, “Hey, I’m sorry, I think that’s my drink.”

“Uh, honey lavender latte? I’m pretty sure I ordered this,” he says. You look at him with a funny expression on your face, eyes darting between the drink you ordered and the drink that’s in his other hand. He catches your suspicion and shakes his head quickly. “It’s for my friend, I ordered for the both of us so I could get us a spot.”

“Oh,” you breath out, figuring that it probably isn’t a lie. “S-sorry for the misunderstanding. I just—” you chuckle, watching some of the tension from the man’s shoulders wither away. “I ordered the same thing—”

“Oh sorry, I—my friend isn’t here yet so you can just take this and I’ll wait for the other to come out,” he offers, watching your face, and you see something in his expression change. “Hey wait, you look really familiar,” he murmurs.

Your eyebrows furrow as you silently thank him when he hands you the drink. “Uh, are you sure? I’m sorry, I just—I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before,” you admit with an awkward chuckle.

The man shakes his head and laughs quietly to myself. “No, I swear I’ve seen you somewhere, but I’m just blanking on it right now—sorry this is probably so weird but—” The bell of the front door rings and he shoots his head to see who’s coming in, eyes lighting up. “Oh hey, Hao! Was just waiting for you!”

Hao? Mingh—

You lock eyes as soon as he walks in.

The man from before beams as he walks up to him as your eyes finally break away, and Minghao turns to his friend. “Hansol,” he greets with a small smile, and it’s a pleasant sight to see your patient—who’s more often monotone than not—seem a bit more at ease than before.

“How’re you doing? Was just waiting on your drink and—” the man—Hansol—points at you with eyes as wide as saucers, “—oh by the way, doesn’t she look really familiar?”

You chuckle nervously, breaking out an awkward smile and waving at Minghao who returns you by raising his left arm in a sort of half-wave before turning his attention to Hansol to give him a blank stare. “Yeah, she’s kinda like my physiotherapist dude.”

This time, you chuckle a bit more genuinely, eyes darting between the amused smirk that’s just barely there on Minghao’s lips, and Hansol’s agape stare.

“Ohh shit, yeah that’s where I saw you! Cheol and Miyeon were talking about you when they were booking you for Hao at the hospital, and I saw your picture on the screen,” Vernon explains as the realization hits him.

“Oh,” you laugh lightly. “That’s funny,” you reply as you turn your attention to Minghao, “Good to see you’re getting out of that wheelchair. I bet it feels nice to finally stretch your legs and stuff,” you say. If Minghao could move his neck without eruptions of pain, he’d nod his head.

For now though, he settles on smiling and saying, “Yeah, it’s refreshing.” His eyes wander around you, taking in how you aren’t dressed in your usual work attire, but rather clad in a cute outfit. “Is that my drink?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed as he points at the coffee you’ve just taken a sip of.

Hansol laughs and shakes his head. “You two got the same drink so when it came out, I just let ‘er have it, since you weren’t here yet.” He glances around before putting his drink down at a nearby table. “Shit, I think I left my laptop in my car,” he murmurs, looking at his friend. “I’m gonna go get it so I can show you those videos I was talking about.”

“Yeah, that’s chill,” Minghao agrees. Hansol smiles at you and then his friend before quickly retreating from the cafe to get to the parking lot, leaving you and the tall man standing in silence. It’s a few passing moments where you awkwardly sip on your drink before something pops in your mind.

“Hey, it’s actually really funny that you’re seeing me right now because—well it’s not funny funny, but it’s a nice coincidence so I guess that counts as funny but—anyways, look, I crocheted this cardigan.” You smile, lifting your arms a little so he can see the dark, navy blue fabric you made yourself, before turning around to show off the light blue, striped pattern on the back. “Cool, right?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty. Nice color scheme and all,” Minghao agrees.

“Thanks. Have you started crocheting? I can send you some videos to get you started,” you offer. Just as Minghao is about to reply, the barista from behind you calls out another order of your drink, causing both of you to glance back. “Oh, you wait there; I’ll get it,” you say, putting your drink down on the same table Hansol did before walking over to grab Minghao’s drink and hand it back to his left hand.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to,” he says as your fingers brush over each other before falling back to your side. “Isn’t your friend waiting for you?”

“Of course I have to. I’m your doctor! I can’t make you do that,” you reason before pointing back at your best friend. “And are you talking about Seungkwan? Looks like he’s having the time of his life doing—” You turn your head around to glance at him before looking back at Minghao, “—doing god knows what on his phone and—”

“Are you talking about me?” you hear Seungkwan’s voice calling from a few meters away, and the way you cringe has Minghao stifling a giggle. “All good things I hope!” he continues.

“You know it!” you shoot back sarcastically, only to be followed by Seungkwan’s rolling eyes. “That little shit. I pay his bills!” you exclaim, a faux frown making its way onto your face.

Minghao laughs, his head throwing back a little. The small movement flares up a bite of pain in his neck, causing his breath to get stuck in his throat, eyes widening as he slowly shifts back into a comfortable position.

“Sorry,” you murmur sheepishly.

If Minghao could shrug without feeling like his neck would snap in half, he would. Instead, he raises his eyebrow playfully when he says, “Are you seriously apologizing for being funny?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m retracting my apology.”

It’s been around three weeks since you started working with Minghao. He’s warmed up to you a fair amount, and ever since you saw him at the cafe, the air around you two has been lighter.

It’s still a bit awkward at times—skitting around the moments where you wonder if you should say something about the elephant in the room before shaking your head and biting your tongue. Then again, given how often you see Minghao, you’ve gotten used to it.

Seungkwan stops by your office this morning when he walks into work. “Morning,” he greets, dropping a small brown bag by your desk as you file through some papers.

“Ooh, thank you,” you tell him gleefully, taking a break from your task to glance at the chocolate muffin that sits inside of the bag. “I’ve been craving this,” you admit, reaching in and picking out a small piece to stuff into your mouth.

“Your welcome,” Seungkwan sighs, sitting down on the seat in front of you. “Anyways, I found something cool that I don’t think you told me.”

You raise your eyebrows at him skeptically. “Yeah? What is it?”

“You and Xu Minghao are from the same hometown!”

You roll your eyes. “Why do you still keep calling him Xu Minghao? He’s told us to just say Minghao, and even if he didn’t, it’s awkward when you say his full name like that.”

Seungkwan scoffs at you, reaching his hand over to try and flick your forehead but you dodge. “Because he’s Xu Minghao. I can’t believe you aren’t still jumping up and down for getting to work with him, seeing how much you love SECTOR.”

“You want me to be happy that the best racer from my favorite team is injured?”

“Ugh, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Whatever,” you shrug, a small hint of a smile peeking from your lips.

“Anyways, you didn’t answer what I actually said. Why didn’t you tell me you guys are from the same area? That’s so cool!”

“I mean I guess,” you say with a shrug.

“And you guys are the same age so—wait, did you go to school together? Oh my god, are you guys like—I don’t know, long lost best friends or something?” Seungkwan’s eyes widen. “Oh, that’d be so cool—I could totally see a movie on this and—wait! If he’s your long lost best friend, where does that leave me? You better not replace me with him!”

You laugh at the progression of his thoughts, almost choking on your second bite of the muffin. “We did go to school together,” you admit. “It’s not like we crossed paths though. He kinda just, I don’t know, existed back then. So no worries for you, you’re not getting replaced any time soon … unfortunately,” you add with mischievous giggle.

“Better not …” Seungkwan huffs.

Minghao comes in a few hours later for his afternoon session. Jeonghan works with him for the first two of the three hours, and you walk in for the last hour. You go over some more mobility exercises, before finally sitting down so you can discuss his progress.

“So things are going really well,” you start to tell him, beginning to list off a couple signs of development which stood out to you. You’re about to commend him on keeping up the exercises everyday, when you notice him staring at the floor with a blank expression. “H-hey, Minghao?” you ask, clearing your voice when he doesn’t respond. “Minghao.”

His eyes shoot up to yours, shoulders tensing for a second before he lets out a deep breath. “Sorry, zoned out for a second.”

You chuckle nervously, wondering if it’s okay if you probe just a little. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Minghao replies casually, but you catch the way he doesn’t meet your gaze. “Just thinking about last night’s race.”

“Oh, Singapore?”

“Yeah.”

“I was able to catch a bit of it last night, but I passed out. It seemed intense though—you see Kim’s pit stop?”

“Yeah, it was kinda insane,” Minghao says breathily. His expression is unreadable, but he’s continuing to respond and so you choose to let things go on naturally. “He’s been living up to his talent now that his shitbox is back to what it’s supposed to be.”

“Can’t imagine how frustrating it is.” Fuck, when Minghao’s shoulders drop, it feels like you said something you probably shouldn’t have.

I can imagine, Minghao thinks after hearing your response, but he bites back the words. “Yeah,” he says dejectedly instead.

Silence. This seems like a good chance to change the topic.

“Uh—” Sorry, you want to say, but you choose to hold your breath instead. “I have good news.”

“Oh?”

“We can get you out of the neck brace today,” you tell him happily.

Minghao’s eyes light up. “Really?”

“Yeah, your progress has been great. Didn’t want to tell you earlier to get your hopes up, in case something went wrong, but everything has been looking really good and you’re at the point where we usually take any supports like braces off.”

Minghao grins, and it’s a stark contrast from the grim shadow cast on his face just moments earlier. You take a few moments to go over the procedures with him, helping him out of the foamy, firm brace with gentle hands and watchful eyes.

“How’s it feeling?” you ask, setting the brace down by one of your counters so you can dispose of it later.

Minghao lets out a low groan of what you can only assume is relief when he looks up. “Like my skin can finally breathe,” he sighs heavily, a bright smile taking over his features as you turn to face him.

“I’m happy for you,” you tell him, before beginning a quick examination process of the area under the brace and going through some quick motions.

“All done?” he asks. When you nod, he continues. “Kinda early, huh?” he say pointendly, and you both quickly glance at the clock on the wall: his session is supposed to end in 43 minutes.

“Oh yeah, uh—actually … I was wondering if you wanted to try something?” you ask tentatively, and Minghao senses your hesitation. “If you have the time.”

Raising a brow, he nods. “Yeah I don’t mind, what is it?”

“One second,” you tell him, getting up and leaving the room to grab something from your office. Shyly, you walk back in and to your seat, all while holding up a brown bag. “Just some old crocheting supplies I thought you might like,” you murmur, placing it down on the counter.

Minghao presses his lips together tightly, not expecting your words. “Oh, uh—I haven’t really … I haven’t taken up crocheting yet. Sorry, uh—”

“Oh yeah,” you say quickly, holding a hand up, using the other to show him the contents of the bag. There’s some balls of yarn and hooks in a little mess, and you reach in to take some out. “I figured—it’s pretty intimidating to take up by yourself but,” you sigh. “I think it’ll be really nice for you. I recommend it to a lot of my patients who can’t do their regular activities and hobbies … and now given your brace is off, your vision will have more range and it might be really fun for you. No pressure if you don’t like it, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to show you the ropes,” you admit, holding up a ball of blue yarn.

Catching onto your pun, Minghao chuckles and replies, “Sure, why not.”

“Okay great,” you say excitedly, dropping the bag and pulling your chair up in front of him and next to the table, pulling the supplies out.

Minghao is patient as you show off the different yarns and hooks, explaining the very basics in great detail. You can’t quite tell if he’s being so obedient out of genuine interest, pity, or simply polite compliance, but for whatever reason, you’re thankful. Soon, you’re showing him how you do it yourself before handing him one of your spare hooks and the ball of yarn, letting Minghao test the waters for himself.

“Yeah, just do that and—wait,” you mutter, reaching over to adjust the way he’s holding the hook. Your soft fingers gingerly brush over his knuckles, and Minghao finds himself getting lost for a moment. As you innocently fix the position of his fingers, his stomach churns in a manner he can’t quite name. “You got that?” you ask him suddenly, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Sorry, zoned out again. What was that?”

“Singapore really got you thinking, huh?” you muse before shaking your head and laughing it off.

“Sorry, I—”

“Don’t worry about it. Here, I was just saying you should position your thumb like this or else you might start to cramp up really fast. Happens to me like crazy but I didn’t fix my habit and now I just gotta crochet through the pain.”

Minghao looks at you with an odd expression. “Crochet … through … the pain?”

“That sounded cooler in my head, my bad.”

Minghao laughs. It’s not a tight chuckle, or a soft giggle, it’s a laugh. And it’s bright and full and tugging at your heartstrings in a way you’d rather ignore. “It’s okay.”

“Anyways … here, I’ll show you how to start off with a slip knot and then we’ll take things from there,” you instruct.

Slowly, you walk him through the steps. You learn that Minghao is a good learner. He’s intuitive, but it’s not that you expect much different—you figure no one can get to the level he’s at without being quick to pick up on things.

You’re soon showing him how to start a simple chain, the yarn and hook still in his hands as you work him through the process. “Yeah, now you just gotta yarn over like this—no, the other way, just like that … and—yeah … yeah!” you exclaim excitedly when Minghao slips the hook right through, lengthening the chain. “You got it!”

“Really?” Minghao asks. “Simpler than I thought,” he admits aloud, and you nod vigorously.

“Yeah … crocheting looks hard from afar but once you actually get the hang of it, it’s as easy as breathing,” you explain, softly taking the yarn and hook from his hands and showing how it looks once you build in more loops.

He watches you carefully—the way your fingers so gently, with such precision; how your eyebrows furrow ever so slightly as you focus in on the task at hand, tongue unconsciously sticking out from the corner of your mouth, and— 

“You’re really good at this,” Minghao murmurs quietly, and you swear he’s so close, his warm breath fans down on your cheeks. You gulp, pausing what you’re doing to look up at him.

“My mother taught me. It’s been a casual hobby ever since.”

You feel Minghao’s eyes bore down on yours intensely, wondering if he’ll respond. Something is screaming at you to pray he’ll keep his mouth shut.

Minghao doesn’t say a word, thankfully. Still, the possibilities of what could be running through his mind haunt you.

You think you should start feeling guilty. You think you should already be feeling guilty when you start to look forward to seeing Minghao. He’s your patient for fuck’s sake—you should be happy he’s not holed up in here everyday.

Still, there’s a weird feeling that festers in your chest when you think about him.

Minghao, and the way he’s so persistent, so patient, so attentive with all the exercises and information you tell him. Minghao, and the polite smile he throws your way at the beginning of each session. Minghao, and the way his eyes light up.

“We’re going to try some new mobility exercises today,” you tell him today with a grin, standing up from your seat. Minghao’s ears perk up as he catches the bright look on your face, and something inside of him swells with hope.

“Really?”

You smile and nod in return. “Yeah! I mean your recovery has been really great so far and I think this is a good point to move on and see if we can test out an even wider range of motion.” Minghao doesn’t really say anything in response, but the way his eyes light up when he watches you explain the exercises tells you enough.

In the hour that follows, you two walk through the exercises, trying out each one, and you’re almost three quarters through all the motions you planned today right before you show him how to angle his shoulder before a new exercise.

“How are things feeling? Anything hurting? Anywhere?” you ask anxiously as Minghao comes out of the last stretch you showed him with a pleasant look on his face.

“No, not like pain pain,” he says casually, leaning back into the chair. “Not the kinda pain from the strain, but I feel a bit of tension on my shoulder from keeping it in that position for too long.”

“Okay great,” you say, typing it down onto your digital notepad. “We’ll try and switch up that one next time so your body is completely relaxed from now on.”

“Thanks. What’s the next exercise?” Minghao asks curiously upon taking in the information. You vaguely think to yourself about how you enjoy his growing warmness—he’s been a lot more positive these past sessions with his rapid progress, and it’s bringing a much lighter atmosphere to Room C.

You explain the movement to him, explaining to him how to lift his shoulders just enough to circle them backwards without too much movement. It’s going pretty smoothly like the other exercises; you explain, Minghao listens, you adjust, Minghao lets you.

Right now you’re about to lean in, hands brushing over his shoulder blade to guide them to a more steep angle, explaining to Minghao how to fix his posture. Your fingers brush over his collarbone and jaw a few times in the process, your eyes keeping steady on making sure he doesn’t make any abrasive movements.

“There we go,” you tell him after showing him how to do the circular movement with his shoulders. “Why don’t you try it by yourself?”

Shooting you a thumbs up, Minghao complies, lifting his shoulder forward first slowly. He’s going through the motions of everything pretty normally—after all this is just like any other exercise so he doesn’t really worry that much until—fuck.

Holy shit, that quick but sharp pain stings so bad.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” you ask worriedly when Minghao stills, his eyes widening.

So much. So fucking much, Minghao thinks to himself.

“Talk to me,” you say, moving closer to him so you can move your hands over his shoulder and lead them back down to a natural position.

“It h-hurt for a second. Really bad, but then it was gone,” Minghao says breathily. You purse your lips together and Minghao feels his heart sink to his chest when you turn around and type some stuff he can’t read from where he sits. “Is this like—” He needs to pause to collect himself so the nerves don’t get to him. “—is it bad?” When you hesitate to respond, Minghao already knows his answer. “Fuck.”

“Look, it’s just hurting in that spot for this exercise. The rest of your progress is amazing, but we’re just going to need to take it slower since you’ve probably just overexerted the muscle a little bit.”

“So I’ve been set back, basically,” Minghao says bluntly, his tone doing a full 180 from just a few moments earlier.

“Not a setback …” you sigh. “Just a sign that we need to go slower right now.” You watch him worriedly when he presses his lips together and doesn’t meet your gaze.

“So a setback.”

You gulp. “You can’t think of this like that. I told you from the start that progress is never linear and—”

“I don’t give a fuck, okay?” Minghao breaths out, and something about the way he says it with such a curt, tense tone almost makes you lose your composure. “This is—fuck, this my career okay? I can’t afford any setbacks.”

“I know that and that’s why I’m your doctor, okay?” you say, a bit more harshly than you intended.

You don’t understand why you’re letting his hostility get to your head all of sudden—it isn’t like you haven’t had frustrated patients before. Fuck, you’ve had people cry, sob, break down in this same room over slow progress but something about the way he looks so disheartened has your heart clenching.

“I’m here to help you,” you reiterate, your tone more composed than before. “But I can only do that if you let me.”

Minghao eyes flicker between your wide eyes and his hands in his lap. There’s a growing knot that ties in his throat, and he’s too afraid to open his mouth to speak, too afraid of what he might say. Instead, he just huffs and stands up.

“Sorry,” he finally musters up, eyes trained on the ground as you watch him carefully for his next move. “I’m leaving.”

You don’t stop him as he walks away.

When Minghao walks into the reception a few days later, he’s not surprised to see that you aren’t the one greeting him. He thinks back to the way your lips were pressed into a tight line when he walked out last week. It was the last time he’d seen you in the past few days, and some weird mix of worry swirls in his stomach.

Were you avoiding him? He wouldn’t blame you if you were, but he feels guilty for thinking that way. You wouldn’t let something personal get in the way of your work, Minghao knows that for sure.

Still, he bites his tongue when he briefly considers asking Jeonghan where you are. Would that be overstepping? It’s not like there haven’t been sessions where you weren’t there, but something about the thickness in the air around him tells Minghao that there’s something he should be worried about.

As if he could read Minghao’s mind, Jeonghan speaks up. “Doc’ll come in around the end. It’s her mom’s birthday so she’s out for most of the afternoon, but she’ll be back for the last half an hour,” he says casually, not really expecting to turn around to see Minghao looking at him with wide eyes and parted lips.

“H-her—” Her mom? Minghao wants to ask but something stops him from saying it. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re not here. Something feels wrong. “That’s fine,” he mutters, pursing his lips before looking at the ground.

He can feel Jeonghan’s curious gaze burning into the back of his skull, but Minghao only doesn’t move as he keeps quiet. They soon fall into the regular pattern of starting off with mobility exercises before doing a check of his range of movement.

It’s nearing the final hour of his session when Jeonghan excuses himself for a moment. Only two minutes passes before there’s a knock at the door, and then some footsteps leading in.

“Good afternoon Minghao,” you greet softly upon walking in. The man glances up at you, eyes widening when he takes in your figure.

“Oh—uh, hey.”

Minghao wants to bash his head into the wall. Hey? Seriously? That’s all he could muster up? Hey?

“Jeonghan gave me the rundown,” you tell him, looking away as you lift a clipboard and squint to read the tiny text. “No more sharp pains … returning mobilily …”

You hum slowly as you read off the notes your assistant left for you, not meeting Minghao’s gaze. He wonders if that’s what you intended. “Seeing as things are going smoothly for now, we’ll continue with the low-risk exercises and—”

“I’m sorry,” Minghao blurts out. He wonders what compels him to do it, but when you finally meet his gaze, he realizes that he just wanted you to look at him.

“Mi—”

“I’m sorry for how I acted last time. I shouldn’t have said that stuff to you. I was frustrated and took it out on you, and that wasn’t okay. I’m sorry.”

Your lips are pursed by the time Minghao is finished. He’s said enough, but when he peers up at you, his eyes speak a story of their own.

“It’s okay,” you respond with no hesitation, before turning back to your clipboard, scanning over it a few more times and then setting it down.

You smooth your hands over your lab coat, and for a moment Minghao wonders what it would feel like to have your palms run down his neck, pressing into his skin so gently yet with such fervor, fingertips ghosting over—

Minghao shouldn’t think like this.

“Jeonghan told me that it’s your mom’s birthday,” he finally breaks the silence. It’s the first time either of you have actually brought it up, and the reality of it all—fuck, it’s hitting you so hard that there’s already tears pooling in yout lashline.

You silently curse yourself for forgetting to tell Jeonghan not to tell Minghao anything. It’s okay, it isn’t like he knew any better, you tell yourself as you blink rapidly, trying to shoo away the tears.

“Mhm,” you hum, hoping he doesn’t probe any deeper. You aren’t sure what you should say.

You’re silent, and Minghao itches to reach forward, to rest his hand on your shoulder, to smile at you, to say all the things he’s been thinking about you but he just can’t. All he can manage is to clear his throat, causing you to look up at him expectantly.

Fuck, what should he say? “I’m um—I’m glad. Glad that she’s uh—that everything worked out.” That’s fine, right? There’s nothing wrong with that statement, Minghao’s almost sure of it so … so why in the world are you crying?

Shoot, did he fuck up? You’re sitting in the chair right next to him, head in your hands as you cover your face and turn away; your cries are soft but just loud enough for Minghao to hear over the rush in his ears, just loud enough for him to feel the ache, just loud enough for him to get the message.

Oh.

The first time you meet Xu Minghao, you’re in middle school. Seventh grade and walking into Algebra, going to sit down on your regular seat. Five minutes into class and a new boy walks into the room, handing your teacher a slip before being directed to sit down at a spot a few tables over.

He’s got short, dark hair, cat-like eyes, and a bit of tall, lanky figure as he slinks down into the chair. Your teacher claps her hands together and announces that there’s a new student in class. His name’s “Xu Minghao,” she said.

You don’t really remember his name at first. It isn’t uncommon for there to be new students on campus. He’s not in many of your other classes you realize as the day goes on, and so he slips your mind. Maybe you work with him for a few assignments throughout the year, but not enough for you to wave at each other when you pass the other in the hallways.

Five years later and you’re in your final year of high school. Time has passed, you have changed, Xu Minghao has changed, but what remains the same is what you are to each other. Strangers.

You’re paired with a stranger for your final senior Literature project.

“Do you want to write a paper, or do the poster?” you ask as he sits down next to you once the pairing assignments. Your teacher had given you two options on how to go about the project. “I don’t really mind either or,” you admit.

Minghao hums, setting his copy of Macbeth on the table before turning to you. “Poster? I think I’ve done enough writing in this past year to last me a lifetime,” he tells you with an obvious sigh.

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Were you in Biology?”

He nods. “Regretfully.”

“Oh so you also had to write that whole research paper. Damn, that thing had to have shaved at least ten years off my life.”

“Ditto,” Minghao grumbles, running his hands over his face. “Oh god, just thinking about it is making me queasy. I’m so happy we’re in our final semester.”

“So we agree on no paper, just the poster?” you finalize.

Minghao agrees, “Yeah, that’s great.”

One week later and Minghao is at your doorstep. “Cool set up,” he notes, stepping into your room, looking down at the poster splayed out with markers all over.

You grin. “Thanks—I kind of like being artsy and stuff sometimes so I was pretty happy to do this when you said you also wanted to do the poster.”

“Seems like I made a good choice then,” he replies, sitting down on the opposite end of the poster and pulling out a notebook and his book. “I did some work and got a bunch of lines that we could use as citations in different parts.”

“That’s great,” you say, picking a pen. “Let’s get started then?”

You two get straight to work, and all goes smoothly. Minghao is a good worker, you’ve noticed. His friends are quite fun—you’ve seen him with them in the hallways sometimes—but you start to realize that Minghao doesn’t let himself sacrifice his work ethic for fun.

You make quite some progress over the next hour or two, and you’re just about to bring up one of your ideas. “So over here, I was thinking we could write out the context of the play and then—” You’re cut off by the voice of your older brother at your door. He’s looking down at his phone with his lips pressed into a tight line as he speaks.

“Mom’s starting another cycle of chemo this Thursday so—oh, sorry,” Beomgyu says quickly upon looking up and seeing you have a visitor. “Come to my room when you’re done,” he mutters before turning on his heel.

The silence that envelopes your room is deafening.

You don’t say a word as you take a deep breath and pick up a different colored marker. You clear your throat. “So back to what I was saying …”

The next time you work on the poster, it’s at Minghao’s house.

You wear a blue gown at graduation. It’s a sunny day in June, and you’re sweating a little through the silk fabric, but it’s okay.

Your father and Beomgyu are there in the stands, but your eyes can’t help but be pulled to the empty seat next to them. Your mother said she’d try to make it, but broke the news last night that it was a dream too high up to reach.

It’s okay, you had told her, but as you clutch your diploma close to your heart, all you can think is, no it’s not, no it’s not, no it’s fucking not.

You sit through the rest of the ceremony with a silence and all around you, you see your peers’ smiling faces, the encouraging words of the dean, the cheers of the crowds, and somehow you feel so lost in it all. When you’re finally dismissed, everyone claps and revels once more, but somehow you can’t find the voice in your throat to join them.

Slipping through the crowds of people who line up to take pictures with their friends, family, and all the sort, you slip out of the small stadium and into some hallway.

“Fuck!” you finally cry out, raising your hand up and whipping it forward towards the brick wall. You wince, bracing yourself for the pain, but the sting never comes. Something warm envelopes your wrist, and when you finally blink your eyes open, you see a stranger.

“I don’t understand what you’re going through,” Minghao finally says. “I won’t pretend I do either, but it’ll be okay.” He hugs you and your face is pressed into Minghao’s own blue gown that is about to turn a few shades darker.

You cry. You cry harder than you think you’ve ever cried before.

You don’t know what it is about the way he speaks. Maybe it’s the way he holds you. Maybe it’s the way he smells. Maybe it’s everything, but whatever it is or isn’t, you don’t stop crying and for a gracing moment, you bask in catharsis.

And then, you hear Beomgyu’s voice calling for you from a nearby hallway, so you pull back. Minghao presses his lips together and lets you go, hands dropping to the side as you wipe away the tears. There’s a darker blue splotch in the middle of his chest, but he says nothing of it.

You don’t say a word as you step back—the only communication you share is a nod, but you swear on every last star in the sky that he has said more words to you in that moment than anyone has told you in your entire lifetime.

You don’t see Minghao’s face until it’s seven years later and he’s plastered on the screen as SECTOR’s newest recruit. He’s got phenomenal potential as an F1 racer—greatest new talent in a while—you hear the host of the channel say, but as you look at his picture on the screen, all you see is the face of a stranger who’s held you tighter than anyone before.

The last time you saw Minghao, it was through tear-blurred vision as you scurried out of Room C—you had to tell Jeonghan through broken sniffles to wrap up the session with Minghao—that the weight of the day had gotten to your head and that you needed to take a breather.

It wasn’t entirely a lie. You retreated to your office soon after, staring at the photo of you and your mother that sat at the corner of your table, and then you cried a little more.

It’s the next day when you’re back in the office. Two patients had just finished up, and you’re sitting in your office, filing through some emails when you hear the familiar ringing of the front door opening. You furrow your eyebrows to yourself, not recalling having any other patients scheduled for at least another two hours.

Had Jeonghan and Seungkwan taken their break earlier than you thought? No, that can’t be possible because they always let you know when they’re heading out and—

“Doc!” you hear Seungkwan’s voice call out to you from down the hall. “Could you come here for a sec’?”

Frowning, you close your laptop and stand up, walking out the doorway and down the hallway towards the front entrance of the clinic. “What is i—oh.” The question dies on your tongue when you see Minghao standing in the reception.

Something in your stomach churns at the sight of him—eyes slightly blown out, lips parted but somehow curved downward in a way that has your own lips frowning. The events of the past few days crashes down on you, and you bite down on your bottom lips in hopes that it’ll ground you in reality.

Seungkwan stands behind the main desk, looking at you with some sort of awry expression, and you catch Jeonghan coming down from the other hallway to catch the odd situation. Minghao doesn’t seem to mind though, eyes zoning in on you.

“I need to talk to you,” he says. You feel Seungkwan and Jeonghan’s gazes burn into the back of your skull.

Glancing at them, you point to the door. “You guys can take your lunch break now,” you tell them before turning your attention to Minghao. “Let’s go to Room C?”

He follows you in an instant, slipping into the seat that he always does as you close the door behind you and walking up to stand in front of him.

You can hear the words already coming together on his tongue—I’m sorry—and so you open your mouth before Minghao can even say it.

“I’m sorry,” you say, breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have stormed out like that.”

“No, I—I shouldn’t have said anything. I had no idea you—” Minghao stops himself. He doesn’t know how much is too much.

It’s funny; Minghao’s whole career is about being in the driver’s seat but somehow when it comes to you, he doesn’t know when to press on the gas or hit the brake.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” he says. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since graduation.”

“Me too,” you respond in an instant. “I see so much of myself in you,” you tell him.

“Stop, I—our situations aren’t comparable and—”

“Let me be the judge of that, yeah?” you cut him off with a small smile and through tears, cupping his face. The skin over his cheek bones are soft when you run your thumbs over them. “When everything is going wrong and you’re so angry, and you’re blaming all the wrong people but you can’t help it, and it makes you feel worse and there isn’t a thing you can do about it.”

“Yeah.”

You inhale steadily, feeling hot water meet your hands and trickle down to your wrists. Minghao is crying, and suddenly you are hit with waves of deja vu. “I get it, okay?” you tell him, even though you know that Minghao already knows. You get it better than anyone. “It’ll be okay.”

The echo of his words from all those years ago crashes down on you, and suddenly Minghao pulls your arms down causing you to hunch over so your face is right in front of his.

“I’ve thought about you everyday since then.” The words come out of your mouth in a soft whisper. “Even when she passed away a few months later.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he mutters, eyes closing and head titling forward so that your foreheads press against each other. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him, stroking his cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry—you were right. Everything’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

“I—I’m sorry, I just—”

Something about the way Minghao says the word sorry not from his throat, but from his stomach, has your mind twisting in ways that you can’t comprehend. The sound is so guttural and heart-wrenching, and this time you want to cry because he’s got nothing to be sorry for. Not a thing.

And so you kiss him.

You kiss Minghao because he is no longer a stranger. Because he is crying for you and you might as well cry for him. Cry for him, but you have done enough crying to last you a lifetime and so you kiss him instead, because they speak the same words: I love you.

And his lips are soft, his tongue warm, his hand ghosting over your arm is gentle, and you can hear it. You hear it in the way he moves against you—he understands and you want to cry again because he’s always understood, and so you don’t cry but only kiss him deeper.

“I made you something,” he admits. “It’s in the car.”

You’re thankful you sent your two coworkers out when you did, sparring all four of you the awkwardness when you and Minghao slip out of Room C and out the clinic towards the parking lot and to his car.

He pulls a blanket out from the passenger seat. It’s hardly big enough to cover your lower half but it’s bright and blue and warm, and somehow you feel your eyes well up with tears that you can’t seem to stop this time.

“Did you—did you make this?” you choke out as Minghao stands in front of you, handing the cloth over as you run your palms over the loose threads and yarn that poke through.

“Crocheted it myself,” he tells you, standing from a couple inches above, as you marvel over his work. Minghao thinks he’s done a poor job—you could probably do better—but you clutch the blanket with such vigor that he doesn’t have the heart to tell you. “You’ve helped me so much,” he says instead.

“Fuck,” you mutter over harsh breaths. “Y-you made this.”

“You taught me,” he corrects, and that’s when the dam breaks.

And this time Minghao hugs you, and you can tell he’s being careful about his neck and in all your frenzy you almost want to push him away and say, “Don’t move so much!” but then his arms fold in on you like a blanket of their own and you crumble.

You crumble into happiness because through everything you’ve ever been through, Minghao still holds you tighter than one holds onto life itself.

“I don’t think I can come here on Sunday next week,” you tell your boyfriend as you peer down at your phone. You’re leaning over his kitchen counter going between looking at some emails and glancing at the screen.

Minghao groans, and you bite back a smile. “Are you serious? Why?”

“Yes I’m serious,” you huff, rolling your eyes playfully. “My brother’s visiting town for a bit.”

“And I can’t meet him, why?” Minghao asks with a raised brow.

You laugh. “Good point. I haven’t told him I’m dating yet though. Might be too big of a ball drop if I tell him I have a boyfriend right away. A boyfriend who’s SECTOR’s best racer, might I add,” you say, pouring yourself a glass of water from the fridge before joining Minghao on the couch.

“It would be a good surprise though, right?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yeah yeah, whatever floats your boat,” you shoot sarcastically. “But seriously. I’ll see if I can get you two to meet, but I really can’t see you on Sunday. I have to pick Beomgyu up from the airport.”

“Got it,” Minghao agrees, shuffling closer to you as you both focus on the TV. A live interview with Kim Mingyu plays on the screen, the young man talking about his recent rise in recognition. You two sit in silence for a couple of minutes before Minghao speaks up.

“I fucking hate not being able to do anything,” he groans, shifting onto your shoulder slightly. His condition’s gotten exponentially better in past couple of weeks, but you instructed for him to wait at least two more weeks before fully getting back to training.

He’s been restless ever since, you’ve started to notice. “Do I really need to wait?” he mutters, lips close to your ear as you cuddle into his embrace.

You pull back slightly, narrowing your eyes at him. “Yes! I told you—it’s a part of the process.”

“Fuck the process, I wanna drive again!”

“Too bad I guess,” you say with a shrug, turning your attention to the TV. The channel moves on from the interview to talk about some updates, and eventually somewhere in the mix, Minghao’s name comes up, and you hear the man next to you curse under his breath.

Chewing on your tongue, you debate for a few moments on what to do before reaching for the remote to shut the TV off.

“Hey! I was watching th—”

“Do you ever stop complaining?” you huff, stepping out of his embrace much to Minghao’s dismay. “Stop moving,” you order him, sliding down onto your knees in front of his legs.

“What are you do—oh.” You hear the words dry on his tongue when you nudge your body between his thighs, inching closer to his groin.

“You’re so restless,” you hum, trailing your fingers from his knees, over his thighs, and finally let the ghost over the growing tent under his sweatpants. “Let me take care of you, yeah?” you suggest, toying with the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.

“O-okay,” Minghao agrees, and you grin at the way you see his cheeks flush pink when you inch the fabric off of his pants. His cock springs out, hardening under your gaze as it slaps against his lower adobe that’s still covered by his shirt.

You think for a moment to help Minghao out of his shirt too, but with the pretty pearl of precum dribbling off his slit, veins pressing up all against the length of his cock—all of him aching just for you—you start to feel your mouth water, forgetting about anything that isn’t having Minghao’s cock in your mouth.

“Careful with the right arm, ‘kay?” you tell him, a sly smirk tugging at your lips when you bring them down, dragging them over the base of his length all the way up to the glossy tip where you place a wet kiss.

“Y-yeah—fuck baby,” Minghao grunts when you envelope your lips around his throbbing tip, tongue swirling over the slit at the top as you do so. His left arm makes its way into your hair, fingers digging into your scalp when you pull back to take a deep breath.

Saliva drips down the corner of your lips, and as you look up at Minghao with wide, glossy eyes, he thinks he might bust in on the spot. “Go on baby,” he murmurs, using his firm grip on your head to nudge your lips closer to his pink tip. “Put it in …” he instructs, and when you grin and open your lips wide once more, Minghao knows he’s too far gone to be saved.

“You’re so hard Hao,” you whisper against him, tongue tracing constellations over the base of his cock when you reach to cup his balls, massaging them under your palms.

“Fuck, just like that baby,” Minghao moans, and the sound is so guttural it has your own pussy clenching around nothing. Your skin burns when you take him into your mouth again, cock sliding further down your mouth than before.

He’s so thick, and you feel every last curve of his cock, every last vein, against your cheeks, pressing against your tongue—Minghao is all you can taste, and you might go drunk on the sensation alone.

And he isn’t faring quite well above you either—his hand in your hair has got a firm hold but if anything, Minghao is losing touch with reality. Your mouth is so soft and so warm, your tongue so meticulous with the way it’s swirling around his tip when you slip off his cock before pushing your mouth back down on him—he’s going fucking crazy.

“Baby—oh baby,” the words rumble at the base of his chest, egging you on. With every bob of your head, you start to take him down further until his fat tip is battering against the back of your throat and yeah, it’s got tears pricking at the corners of your eyes but he’s moaning and grunting and squirming all for you and you just can’t seem to fucking stop.

“Shit, shit, shit—baby, ‘m gonna cum if you keep doing that,” he warns when you deep throat all of him, your nose nearly pressing against his pelvis as you press your eyes tight and revel in the sound of his moans, the feeling of his hands in your hair.

You take his slice of warning as a token of advice, pulling back for only a breath before attempting to do the same thing again, shoving his cock into your mouth and down your throat, rubbing whatever you can’t with your palms as wetness smears all over your lips and cheeks.

“Oh—fuck, I’m—”

When Minghao cums, it’s with his chest singing your name. Breathy moans—calls for you—as you suck him through the high, hot white painting the inside of your cheeks and tongue. You pant heavily when you finally pull yourself off of him, swallowing all that is left of him in your mouth, and then he looks at you with flushed cheeks and you both grin.

And when you climb up, Minghao hugs you. He hugs you like a blanket—like the blanket he made you, the blanket you taught him to make—and you two bask in this moment because Minghao is no longer stranger, but he is here and he is in your arms and you are in is, and there isn’t any other place you’d rather be.

a/n: mika ramble time! whatever demonic sickness has been haunting me for the past 5 days will NOT get the best of me. i have been aching to get this fic out since like september and it was initially supposed to be posted on hubbie's bday but :/ unfortunately i was a bit late bc life gets in the way ;c overall i'm really happy w it! personally, i think this is among the most emotional fics i've written, and i am extremely proud of myself for some parts of this so !! yea !! if u enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it, pls feel free to leave comments / reblogs >_< they mean the world to me ^^

#seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #svt smut #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #svt angst #minghao smut #minghao x reader #xu minghao x reader #xu minghao smut #xu minghao fanfic #xu minghao angst #minghao angst #the8 x reader #the8 angst #📝 writing #flight of the stars

[yunjinified]

Minghao fic recs

✿=personal favourites

note: all of the fics i have recommended either have a female or gender neutral reader. this will constantly be updated.

terrified by @lovelyhan warnings and genre: smut, mentions of pregnancy and childbirth, idolverse, established relationship, extremely slight angst. word count: N/A

✿rush hour by @lovelyhan warnings and genre: smut, enemies to lovers, dancer au, unresolved sexual tension, promiscuous behaviour in public. word count: 6700

golden hour by @synthetickitsune warnings and genre: smut, fluff, unprotected sex, blond minghao. word count: 1500

✿fixer upper by @seungkwansphd warnings and genre: smut, slow burn, affectionate member slander. word count: 9500

impatient by @ressonancee warnings and genre: friends with benefits, smut, humor, brat!reader, sub and dom undertones. word count: 3040

love bleeds lilac by @hoeforhao warnings and genre: non idol!minghao, fluff, slight mentions of mental health issues, angst but not angst, discovering self love, comfort. word count: N/A

10:52pm by @blue-jisungs warnings and genre: N/A word count: N/A

to love easily by @minghaoyoudoin warnings and genre: fake dating, smut, angst, fluff, non idol au, non idol!minghao, mentions of cheating and resulting in trauma, food consumption, kissing, dirty talk, pet name(darling), explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, oral sex(m and f receiving), vaginal penetration, marking. word count:13 500

whisper game by @sunnylovespickles warnings and genre: smut, public sex, fingering, gagging, spit as lube, marking, horny minghao, pet names. word count: 960

smut prompt event(minghao) by @hoeforhao warnings and genre: smut word count: N/A

opposites attract by @rubyreduji warnings and genre: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, thigh high kink, creampie. word count: 1800

April 12th, 3:36pm by @gyupinkys warnings and genre: smut, mafia!minghao, yandere!reader, murder, gore, violence, guns, weapons, toxic relationship, manipulation, yandere, unprotected sex, public sex, sex with corpse in the room, scary dirty talk. word count:2700

idubilu by @toruro warnings and genre: smut, ceo!minghao, husband!minghao, fluff, oral(f receiving), pet names(princess, pretty). word count: 2800

(pretty) hungry by @icyminghao warnings and genre: fluff, drabble, established relationship, mentions of food. word count: 600

i don't understand (but i love you) by @icyminghao warnings and genre: fluff, some angst, comfort, established relationship. word count: 1500

4:18am by @number1mingyustan warnings and genre: smut, unprotected sex, riding, creampie, multiple orgasms, mentions of sex, grinding, hands, pianist!minghao. word count: 2300

✿wrong turn by @meltwonu warnings and genre: vampire au, smut, dom!minghao, vampire!minghao, small about of blood play, dirty talk, degradation, fucking in public, overstimulation, squirting. word count: 3000

home yet? by @idyllicdeco warnings and genre: smut, subspace minghao. word count: 1700

22:34 by @toruro warnings and genre: smut, vibrators, pet names(pretty thing) word count: 610+

part 1:chérie by @venerex warnings and genre: duke!minghao, smut, oral(f receiving), fingering, virgin! reader. word count: 2500 part2:the poet by @venerex warnings and genre: smut, duke!minghao, fingering, virgin!reader. word count: 2300 Part3:mon amour by @venerex warnings and genre: duke!minghao, smut, fingering, intercouse, reader's first time, talks of having children, reader passes out. word count: 1900

blocked contacts by @jae-bummer warnings and genre: angst, fluff. word count: N/A

f* me, emo boy by @sunnylovespickles warnings and genre: rock guitarist!minghao, smut. word count: 1800

✿the letter by @toruro warnings and genre: jun's little sister!reader, slow burn, angst, fluff, childhood f2l, idol au, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, arguments, pent up emotions, miscommunication, hot headed reader. word count: 26 000 the letter(smut) by @toruro warnings and genre: smut, oral(f receiving, fluff. word count: 1300

✿red (k)nights by @toruro warnings and genre: knight!minghao, smut, fluff, royal au, princess!reader, secret relationship. word count:6700

oh my! by @toruro warnings and genre: smut, oral(m receiving), mutual pinig, fluff, mentioned past toxic/controlling relationships. word count: 13 600

dreamt of heaven by @jeonride warnings and genre: smut, fluff, established relationship, fiance!minghao, profanity, somnophilia, slight voyeurism, oral(f receiving), hand job, fingering, pet names(angel), praise. word count: 2400

✿felix felicis by @blue-jisungs warnings and genre: fluff, light angst, hurt and comfort, humour, slytherin!minghao, hufflepuff!reader, mentions of social anxiety, swearing. word count: 7000

✿now or never series by @heartkyeom series warnings and genre: strangers to lovers, ex!joshua, fake marriage, angst, fluff, mentions of food, big crowds, mentions of chronic illness, journalist!seokmin, food, smut, brief flashbacks, mentions of family planning, oral sex, descriptions of female anatomy, blowjobs, long car rides, cursing, dumbification, alcohol, fighting. word count: N/A, 5 chapters

#minghao smut #minghao fluff #minghao angst #xu minghao #the8 fluff #the8 angst #the8 smut #the8 #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #minghao x reader #xu minghao x reader #seventeen x reader

[shuaraes]

i should’ve never let you go | x.mh

- To him, love can only mean you

oneshot | 2.5k | exes! au | angst | comfort

after laying out his raw heart for you on voicemail, one part of xu minghao never expects to hear from you again. this is until you text him back asking him to meet you for the first time in over a year. with your text, minghao knows he can’t let you slip away the way he did before.

sequel to we shouldn’t have ended like this

~ pairing . xu minghao x gn!reader

~ content . exes to lovers au!, non idol au!, minghao’s a lover boy, quite cheesy at the end, can be read as a standalone fic but some minor references won’t be picked up on

~ tw/cw . suggestive, mentions of alcohol, minghao’s a bit of a dick to everyone but his s/o

~ song rec . blue jeans - lana del rey

~ author’s note . here it is, the much requested pt.2 !! thank you all for loving pt.1 so much ~~

(taglist at the end)

THE PARK BENCH IS ICE AGAINST MINGHAO’S BLUE JEANS.

His hands are tightly clasped around a medium-sized bouquet, a pink bow ribbon tying everything together. Minghao doesn’t know the first thing about flowers, just knows that carnations are your favourites. Even though there’s a slight chill in the air, Minghao is dressed nicely; short-sleeved polo rolled up to show his arms. He thought he might as well make a decent effort: after all, he’s seeing you for the first time in a year.

Soulmates used to be a concept foreign to Minghao, so foreign when his friend Jun often blabbed on about finding his ‘one true love’ - he could only scoff. Then he thought about what love meant to him. Watching all his friends fall in and out of it faster than he could blink, love didn’t mean much. Yes, he had been ‘in love’ but it had never consumed him, never broken him apart to the point he questioned his purpose of living.

Until you whispered those three words into his ear (it was early morning and you were tangled in his sheets, the linen covering your bare upper body, your eyes were barely opened but your smile was so bright, your fingertips and kisses painted his neck like a canvas. He had never seen such an angelic sight) and it all finally clicked. If this was what love felt like, then he had loved you since he first saw you.

Being in love meant loving you. To him, now love can only mean you.

Honestly, Minghao wasn’t expecting a response from you. It was three am when he sent the voicemail and after so long with no contact, you had probably moved on and found someone else. Living your life without thinking about him, is a privilege Minghao could only wish for. You were in his dreams, in his walls, staring at him in his bathroom mirror.

Although he did miss you terribly, a part of him sent a message because he wanted closure. He wanted to know you didn’t want him anymore. Maybe with your deafening silence, he could move on - live a life with you (an empty promise to himself, like a single coin in a fountain). But you didn’t.

A week after that night, Minghao received a text from your number.

It was early afternoon and Minghao was only half occupied with the tasks of the day, his head everywhere but the present. After sending that voicemail, he couldn’t seem to focus. A string of ‘what ifs’ kept constantly replaying in his head like a strip of film. At a point, he even contemplated throwing away your slippers. But as he saw them by the heater neatly lined next up to his - something deep from within him forced his whole body to stop. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t. Throwing away your slippers would mean giving up on you. Quitting had not got Minghao very far in life.

A notification popped up when he was scrolling mindlessly that day - he was about to swipe up. But when he saw your contact name (it’s ‘sweetheart’, he hasn’t changed it since the day he told you he loved you, the contact name even outliving your relationship), his phone almost dropped out of his hand and onto his face.

Sweetheart: How much did you drink?

Minghao’s breath hitched in his throat. The last thing he wanted was for you to feel like you were a drunken mistake. That he wouldn’t have said what he said without the removed inhibitions from several bottles of wine. He meant every single word he said

Minghao: I’ve never been more sober in my life.

His fingers paused at his keyboard, wanting to say so much more. He wanted to tell you once again how he couldn’t live without you, how you were even more important to him than the oxygen that fills his lungs. But he settled with simple formalities instead.

Minghao: How are you?

Sweetheart: Stop pretending that you care.

Minghao could feel his entire heart shatter in his chest, had you not listened to the voicemail or even worse did you not believe him? Did you not believe his love for you? Again, you were slipping away from him right in front of his eyes, he couldn’t let you go.

Minghao: Everything I said in that voicemail was true. I care about you more than I care for myself.

Sweetheart: Meet me in the park at 2pm and prove it then.

That’s how Minghao finds himself in his local park. Coincidentally, where you both had your first date (now several years ago, he placed a pink carnation behind your ear and when he looked into your eyes, he knew you were going to be different from the others). His heart is threatening to fall out of his chest with the way it’s beating so fast. What is he supposed to say to you? What apology on earth can he give you to make up for his past actions?

The past is in the past but Minghao needs you in his future.

As if you were the grand prize in this game we call life, Minghao is a debtor using up his final pennies. He can’t afford to lose you. The universe doesn’t grant second chances easily and Minghao wasn’t a fool to let you go again.

Your relationship was the furthest thing from perfect, but your flaws matched each other in a way Minghao could never fully grasp. End pieces in a jigsaw, rose quartz and serenity in an evening sky, the rays of the sun and the glow of the moon. You were far from perfect but you were more than close enough for Minghao. He was obsessed with you and still is.

He hears the light patter of feet against the cobbled pavement. The sound gets louder and louder until it stops. Minghao looks up from his fiddling fingers, expecting it to be some dog walker whose pet doesn’t understand the concept of personal space. But then he feels a familiar tap on his shoulder, there’s only one person in this world whose touch is as light as a feather.

When he sees you, his whole world ceases to exist. It is only you that remains. For a year he wanted, craved for this moment. You were his messiah, all he wanted to do was worship you until his throat was hoarse and lips parched. He was thirsty, oh so thirsty. Only you could save him, only you could fix him. He quickly stands up to look at you. He thinks if you touch him his legs would give in and he would fall to the floor. Your presence is overwhelming, you’re taking over his sensing and clouding his thoughts.

All of his words are caught in the base of his throat, there is so much he wants to tell you - but as he tries to speak only silence escapes from his parted pink lips.

You look slightly different, something Minghao couldn’t quite put his finger on. In front of him, you are a paradigm of blues, yellows and reds: the centrepiece in an art gallery, Micheal Angelo’s greatest creation.

“These are for me?” You ask cautiously, breaking the seemingly infinite silence.

You were so surprised to hear from him after you had assumed he had fallen out of love with you months ago. You want to make sure, that you haven’t gone mad, that the love of your life is really standing in front of you.

“Of course they are,” He hands you the flowers and watches your face light up when you realise that he remembered.

“You remembered…” You say smiling, looking down and twirling the pink stain ribbon between your fingers. ‘Of course’ Minghao thinks - of course, he’d never forget. He wants to reply but he’s too captivated with your beauty to think straight.

Still lost in thought, you continue, “Where did all the time go… Back then we were so young, so naive, so… So…” You struggle to find the right words to say.

“So stupid.” Minghao’s words are breathless as you meet his ever-so-loving gaze. For the whole of your relationship, Minghao had never been the one to open up to faults - you as well. The feeling of being so naked and vulnerable is foreign to him. But he relishes in the freedom of the truth, his pride no longer holding him down in chains.

He thinks he loves you more than anyone in human history has loved before.

“I meant everything, I said in that voicemail. You were right ‘We shouldn’t have ended like this’, yet I let it happen. I made you doubt my love but to protect my pride, I just stood there, saying nothing. I thought you grew fed up with our relationship, that I wasn't what you wanted. But then I realised you were pushing me away to protect yourself, just like I did.” Minghao pauses getting slightly emotional.

“Nothing I say or do will ever be enough, I can’t turn back time I know that.

But I never stopped loving you.”

And before he can comprehend, you’re in his arms, head against his chest - your home (his heart). You drop the flowers in your right hand and Minghao circles himself around you, engulfing you in his embrace. You don’t say anything, yet a thousand words fall from your parted lips as you stare into his pools of brown (the same pools you could spread hours, days drowning in, as if fresh air didn’t exist). You smell exactly like he remembered, a mix of woods and flora. You feel like a cup of warm tea after a tiresome day, the silver lining he always looks towards. Minghao thinks there’s nothing in the world as beautiful as you.

“I should’ve never let you go…” The words tumbling out of his lips are a waterfall of emotion. Waves of relief rush over him as he feels himself around you. This is where he is supposed to be. Suddenly, everything in his life is going to be okay.

“I should have never tried to push you away in the first place ” Your hands reach up to stroke the back of his hair and he melts into your touch like butter.

This is where he belongs.

Minghao places a small kiss on the mole you have on your collarbone and it’s almost like the past year didn’t happen (you’re on a date in the city, you’re wearing his favourite dress which shows your shoulders and no matter how hard he tries, Minghao can’t keep his hands off you, pecking and nibbling at the soft skin, even if he didn’t say it much, he was enamoured with you). Minghao doesn’t notice the lingering eyes of passers-by, he even fails to realise the passage of time.

Sadly the world can’t stop for him, no matter how much it feels like it does.

With a loud honk from a car speeding down the other side of the road resonating through his eardrums, Minghao is brought back to reality. Suddenly the light weight in the back of his jeans pocket feels all too heavy and he starts to panic, pushing you away gently. You pout, feeling like you have the wrong idea and Minghao’s expression is immediately sympathetic.

“No baby, don’t worry you did nothing wrong.” He coos in a tone that had almost become foreign to him.

Never, has he used this tone with any of his hookups, even when they begged to be called sweet names, he couldn’t (looking back on this Minghao feels guilty, but those people weren’t you, they couldn’t ever be you). He’s surprised at how easily those words drift off his tongue after so long. He guesses everything just comes easier with you.

“Remember how I said, we’ll listen to your favourite jazz album while drunk on wine.” He scratches his neck bashfully as you look up to him with wide eyes.

“I may or may not have booked us two tickets to their live show in the area, I just wanted to do something again to show that I care. I know it wouldn’t make up for-"

You silence him with a kiss, and Minghao forgets where he is, what he had just said, the colour of the sky and the feeling of the ground below his feet. hell if you didn't whisper ‘It’s okay Minghao' against his lips, he would have forgotten his own name.

For Minghao, it’s you. It has always been you and it will continue to be you. Maybe until the day he dies, he thinks. But knowing himself, he would probably find a way to love you in the afterlife as well.

You drag Minghao by his arm into his dimly lit flat, lips still perfectly intertwined together like a lock and key. If your kisses are knife wounds, Minghao wouldn’t mind bleeding to death. He can taste the tart fermented grapes on your tongue. The feeling of his bare skin against yours is more intoxicating than the bottle of wine you shared. You mewl pitifully into his mouth, clutching his clothes like a beggar desperate for cash. The sight of you begging for him was probably on par with the sex itself.

The night wasn’t supposed to end like this. Minghao had planned it out perfectly: you were supposed to visit a jazz show featuring your favourite ensemble, then you’d have dinner at a place he’d been meaning to take you for months, then maybe after a glass of red (or two) a taxi would drop you off at your complex where he would kiss you on the check and tell you to sleep well.

You both barely made it to step two.

Minghao pulls you flush against his chest breaking the kiss for air - you don’t seem to care as you turn your attention to his neck. In the morning, Minghao expects to see dots of red-purple bruises lined across the pale skin of his neck like patches of watercolour. The night wasn’t supposed to end like this, but Minghao doesn’t have the strength in him to tell you to stop.

“I wanted to be a gentleman.” He manages to whisper out, his eyes squeezing shut as you move your hands and kisses downwards, “I don’t want you just for your body, you know.”

“I know. I just missed you so much it was driving me crazy.” You say and drag him by the collar. You’re not looking where you’re going, but Minghao trusts you know his place better than you know your own.

Before he can respond, he feels you jerk slightly, almost tripping over your feet. He looks down to watch what caused it and he feels his face light up like a pink neon sign downtown.

“You still have my slippers here.” You say, not like you’re inquiring, but more like a statement. The smile on your face is miles wide when you look up at him. Minghao knows exactly what you’re thinking and because of it, he’s the happiest man who has ever lived.

“I didn’t have the heart to get rid of them, I never wanted to let you go in the first place."

taglist - @minhui896 @luvhuihui @porridgesblog @bangantokchy @haocovr @icyminghao

#seventeen oneshot #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen fic recs #seventeen imagines #the8 oneshot #the8 angst #the8 x reader #the8 fluff #minghao oneshot #minghao angst #minghao fluff #minghao x reader #svt oneshot #svt angst #svt x reader #svt fluff #i’m finally doneeee #i hope this lived up to your expectations 🩵

[wheeboo]

ukiyo | xu minghao

SYNOPSIS. in which you and minghao spend the day together. PAIRING. xu minghao x gn!reader GENRE. angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship  WARNINGS. language alluding to death, reader is in a wheelchair, mentions of an unnamed terminal disease that causes reader to have weakened limbs n feel very weak in general, vague mention of nudity (hao takes off reader’s clothes and gives them a bath) but nothing is explicitly described, descriptions of a hospital, terms of endearment (love), one curse word WORD COUNT. 4.3k

ukiyo ( 浮世 ) 𑁋 “the floating world”; living in the moment; detached from the bothers of life.

notes: there’s not really a plot to this. it’s just brainrot because i love torturing myself and my heart. i saw pics of the beach of hai cheng mv and immediately wanted to write something sad for no reason. 

The late morning sunlight pours in through the small window of the bathroom as you hold a steady, blank gaze at the running water gushing out from the faucet. The sounds bounce off the walls of the bathroom, and you bring your eyes down to your legs. 

You can hardly move them. 

It’s been this way for the past two years. It had started with the muscles of your legs slowly succumbing to the weakness stemming from the terminal illness you had been diagnosed with. And as time continues to routinely pass, that certain weakness had set out to invade other parts of your body like a dumb and relentless parasite.

Over the years, the disease had been slowly nearing its peak. The countless visits to the hospital had laggardly dissipated every bit of hope to a possible recovery, and you’ve gotten used to the sentences being said of There’s no cure for the disease, or Sooner or later, it can spread to your brain. You’re only growing weaker and weaker each passing day. Every day tasks were already strenuous. Opening your eyes in the morning took too much strength. Nothing but tiredness and exhaustion plagued your body. Headaches have been becoming more prevalent. Sometimes you just want all this pain to cease to exist. You didn’t want to put this burden on the people you love. 

You didn’t want to put this burden on Minghao.

“So... cherry blossom, lavender, or coconut chamomile?”

You slowly bring your gaze up to the sight of your boyfriend holding up three different scents of bubble bath in the doorway. The sight makes you giggle as you look between the different scents with curiosity, before looking back up at Minghao. 

Even after being together the past four years, just the fleeting sight of him lights you up. Your body may be growing weaker each day, but your unwavering love for the man holding up bottles of bubble bath scents has never faltered. Not one bit. 

But if you weren’t sick, he would be able to live the long, happy life that he wanted, right?

Minghao knows that you are tired𑁋it’s your default answer every day. He wishes he can be able to take away the exhaustion that you feel. He wishes to put all of that pain onto his shoulders and carry it for you so you could experience the freedom away from the constraints of your illness. 

But he also knows that life doesn't always grant such wishes.

“Will you... surprise me?” You ask instead. 

All he does is smile. It’s that soft, fond nose-scrunching smile that you’ve grown to love over the years. Minghao places the bottles on the counter of the sink, putting his body in front so you wouldn’t be able to see what he selects. Covering the bottle with his arms, he playfully walks backward towards the bathtub, causing you to elicit a weak laugh at his dorky antics.

As he reaches the tub, he leans over and carefully pours the bubble bath into the warm water, And as you watch, a gentle purple hue of bubbles begin to form and spread sporadically throughout the tub like a magical mist. It's the soothing and enchanting aroma of lavender.

“You... always know what I like, hm?” You ask him as he closes the container to the bottle and sets it back on the sink counter.

The corners of Minghao’s lips curl amusedly. "I may have learned a thing or two about you over the years.”

The sincerity in his words never fails to relax your heart and push away the clouds of your bittersweet thoughts. Minghao waits a minute or two before turning off the faucet and directing his attention back to you.

“Now,” He leans in front of you, letting his hands caress over yours on the handle of the wheelchair and landing at the hems of your shirt. “can I help you out of these clothes?”

A blush grows on your cheeks at his request despite him doing this for years. You heave out a nervous breath and nod as Minghao's hands begin to move over you with practiced ease, aware of your weakened limbs and exhausted state. He keeps his touch gentle and respectful, and starts with unbuttoning your shirt, his delicate fingers gliding effortlessly along the fabric to reveal the vulnerability the lies underneath. He doesn’t rush or hurry anything, simply setting his focus on you and only you. The warmth of his hands against your skin sends shivers running down your spine.

Though he has seen you bare for him many times, Minghao can’t help the faint smirk to his face. As the last button is undone, he lets your shirt fall to the tile floor below, his gaze travelling over you with adoration. The all-too familiar intimacy between you two has never diminished the admiration he holds for you. Treasuring you is something he has always been devoted to do. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he mutters, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your knuckle, and you feel the surge of warmth and love run marathons to your heart.

With his hands now free from the task of your shirt, he continues his journey downwards, the tips of his fingers ghosting tenderly over your fragile skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You can barely feel the way he touches you, but the thought of him doing so brings you comfort. He takes his precious time, savouring each second that passes between as he loosens the clasps of your pants and helps bring them down your legs with utmost caution.

As each layer of clothing is finally peeled off, a wave of relief and peace washes over you. Minghao sets your clothing neatly away before returning to your side and bringing you closer to the tub. He lets his arms wrap around you, carefully lifting you from the wheelchair and guiding you towards the edge of the bathtub. Sticking a hand in the water to ensure its a good temperature, he slowly but surely eases you into the bath, the water and lavender aroma embracing your body as you sink deeper inside the tub. 

“Does it feel good?” he asks you while lathering the bubbles onto your shoulders.

A sigh escapes your lips as you lean your back against the tub with the bubbles tickling against your skin.

“Mhm,” You let out quietly. “Thank... thank you.” Thank you for taking care of me; I wish I could give you all the care back.

Minghao hums softly, planting a kiss to the top of your head, and retrieves a nearby sponge. Sitting himself down at the edge of the tub, he dips the sponge into the water before lightly caressing over your skin. He starts with your shoulders, washing your skin with a smooth pace and various patterns, helping to gradually ease away the tension to your body.

“Relax, love,” he tells you. “Let me take care of you.”

And so you let your eyes flutter to a close. It felt relaxing to do so𑁋to let go. It almost makes the pain in your head go away. 

You watch the steam rise from the untouched bowl of rice porridge in front of you. It takes Minghao a few minutes later to come back with his own bowl, along with a few side dishes in hand. He glances towards you and notices your empty expression, a tinge of sadness to your eyes that brings a heavy weight to his chest, but he doesn’t acknowledge it. Reaching over, he takes your metal spoon in his hand and dips it in the bowl, grabbing a spoonful of the porridge.

“It’s important for you to eat, love.” Minghao blows on the spoon, cooling down the porridge before bringing it to your lips. The illness hasn’t been much cooperative to your appetite, and eating has been a daunting task for the past few months. He prepares you light foods that doesn’t take much strength to swallow, but enough to nourish you at the same time.

Parting your lips slightly, Minghao feeds you the spoonful of porridge, and you immediately relish in the warmth coursing through you. A small smile crosses your face at the familiar taste of comfort, and it even makes Minghao’s worried face soften. He continues to feed you, spoonful by spoonful, his eyes never leaving yours while taking in every detail𑁋the way your eyes flutter close after each bite, the way the faint smile to your face grows every so slightly, but enough for him to notice. It’s a big change to see, according to him. 

“Tastes good.” You murmur under your breath, looking up at him.

The weariness fades off your face just minisculely. Minghao manages a gentle smile, barely noticing his own food going cold as he continues to feed you. 

There’s a certain silence that you love with him𑁋it’s a domestic silence, especially after being together for four years, where you love observing him doing his everyday routine. But gosh, you miss the times when you were able to hold him in your own arms, or when you could wrap your arms around him in a tight back hug while he cooked, or sneak kisses to his cheek and run away before he would tackle you back into the bed. You miss the times when he’d let you hold him so he could listen to you read, or when you both sat across from each other having your late night doodling sessions. 

You miss all those times, and there’s no way to get them back.

“I was thinking...” Minghao comes back to sit down after setting the dishes away. “...if you wanted to go on a little getaway for the day?”

You look up at him dazedly. “A... getaway?”

“You’ve mentioned wanting to go the beach before,” he inputs, and you see his face up to your idea. “and I think it would be nice to get some fresh air, would you say so?”

He really does remember all the things about you. 

A flicker of hesitation crosses your mind, yet the longing for a change of scenery, a temporary escape from the walls that confine you, helps to wash away any doubts.

You used to dream about running through the white sand beach, feeling the heat of the sun on your skin and the cool breeze caress your face while listening to the calming sound of the waves crashing against the shore. You dreamed of you and Minghao’s laughter mingling into the fresh, afternoon air, your hands intertwined together as you dash down the shoreline together. 

Ever since you were a kid, you dreamed of the beach being the place where you would marry the love of your life, because the sight of the sun setting in the horizon, the soft sand beneath your feet, and the vastness of the ocean waters as you kissed your partner was a fairytale you wanted to experience.

And ever since before your diagnosis and still to this day, you dream of the beach being the place where you would marry Minghao.

Now, it entirely feels like a distant memory now, something beyond unattainable, but the thought of simply seeing it with your eyes brings some form of hope back to your tired heart. 

So you look back up at Minghao as a very faint sparkle of eagerness passes through your eyes. 

The winter season paints the world with a palette of muted colours. The once vibrancy of the ocean waters fades into a pale blue-grey like the cloudy skies above, and the emptiness allows the beach to unfold in its truest form. The waves aren’t too strong or too weak, but roll in gently onto the shoreline with their white foam brushing against the sand before receding back into the vast waters. 

As you and Minghao stroll down towards the beach, you find small patches of snow in the grass and bushes. The air is crisp and chilly, but you don't mind the cold. You find yourself dressed in a comfortable and cozy turtleneck, along with a snug coat to protect you from the winter chill. Minghao had insisted on picking an outfit since dressing you up𑁋and making sure all the colours work well with each other𑁋has always been one of his favourite activities to do. 

There’s a ramp that you go down before finally arriving onto the sandy grounds. The wheels of the wheelchair sinks into the slightly damp sand as Minghao pushes you closer towards the water. He's used to assisting you with mobility the past two years, and he does it with such grace and care that it has practically become a second nature for him.

The beach appears desolate, but seeing it so untouched and undisturbed makes the experience far more peaceful.

Minghao stops the wheelchair at a comfortable distance from the water's edge before kneeling beside you. His ears are slightly reddened from the cold, even with the protection of his own turtle neck and long scarf, but his gaze in the direction of the water is filled with warmth and pure awe. 

He turns to reach for your hand on your lap and intertwines his fingers with yours, before turning back to the sight of the sky meeting the sea. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks.

“It’s...” If you could, if your body gave you the benefit of the doubt for one single moment, you would say everything coming from your heart𑁋how the word beautiful is just a small word compared to the real floating feeling that it gives you. “...beautiful.”

The word feels lackluster, but it's all you can manage to say, and Minghao's warm smile is all that you need to back you up.

He turns back towards you, hesitation in his words. “Do you want to stand closer to the water?”

You peer at Minghao with hesitation and uncertainty. Standing now took... more strength than usual as of lately, and it pains you to admit it. But the thought of being able to stand near the water, to be able to stand on the world that fills your dreams at night was more than tempting. You can barely remember the last time you were able to go to the beach; it was more than possible that it was way before the diagnosis of your illness.

But what if this could be your only opportunity?

And so you muster a small nod towards Minghao. “Help... me stand?”

Minghao only nods. He moves behind the wheelchair and locks the brakes so that it won't move while he helps you stand. With nothing but caution, he wraps an arm around your waist and one under your knees as you slowly rise from the wheelchair, your legs trembling from the use of all your strength as you lean against Minghao for balance. It felt... strange to be able to stand like this again, even if it was just for a few short minutes, almost like a sensation you have nearly forgotten. 

His arm tightens around your waist as he guides you to take your first step, leading you closer to the shore. Each step felt like an ardous journey. You basically can hear the loud protests of your own body telling you to stop. 

“You’re doing great,” he tells you, and his words bring you some heightened determination.

Even with each passing moment and your body slowly but surely taking all its effort to remain you upright, you don’t let the thought dampen your persistence. 

When you finally reach the line where the tip of your shoe reaches the edge, the ocean stretches out before you as if holding countless stories of joy, sadness, and everything in between within its deep, mysterious depths.

Minghao still has an arm wrapped around you, but his eyes are directed into yours, both tenderly and admiringly. 

"You did it," he assures you. "You're standing by the ocean.”

A bittersweet smile crosses your lips, a smile warm but with a hint of sadness. You feel the heat growing in your eyelids as you let a few streams of tears to flow down your face, never thinking that such a vast space would become your safe haven. Minghao leans in to press a loving kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment.

You feel like you’re floating in that moment, suspended between that of reality and a dream. The weariness that lingers in your bones is briefly forgotten about, and you relish in the feeling of standing tall after so much time. 

But as you continue standing, you feel the weakness descend upon you. The exhaustion surrounds you like a dense fog, clouding your mind and eating away at your energy. You try to keep your focus on the calmness of the ocean ahead, but you feel a certain heaviness to your eyes, making it difficult for you to keep them open. 

And the world around you starts to blur.

Minghao is speaking. He’s speaking but you can’t make out any words because of the ringing in your ears that was growing louder each second and drowning out his voice which was the only thing fucking powerful enough to keep you even remotely grounded𑁋

“Y/N, stay with me. Can you... hear...”

No, I can’t hear you. You’re fading away... I’m the one who is fading away.

“Hao...” is all you manage to mumble out in a hushed, weak whisper.

The last thing you remember is the feeling of his arms around you and his voice desperately calling out your name before all you could see is black.

It takes a lot for Minghao to break.

But seeing you in this hospital bed right next to him, with your skin more fragile than ever and your body laying unconsciously still, he feels each individual piece of his heart shatter by the passing minute and his chest grow heavy. The doctors predicted for you to have woken up two hours ago, but... you haven’t done so.

He doesn’t know what to feel, and it almost feels like each breath he takes only suffocates him even more, and being confined in the walls of the hospital room had been no help. Maybe it’s anguish, fear, guilt, or even anger. Perhaps it was all of the above.

Minghao's hands tremble as he clenches them into fists, tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. He wants to scream, but he restrains himself, and he’s been oddly good at doing so.

If only you knew all the times he had desperately tried to fight back tears knowing that one day, you won’t be waking up next to him anymore𑁋that you won’t wake up at all. Or the times he had fought back anger to hide away just how much he wants to yell at the universe for cursing you with such a damned illness. 

As he continues to anxiously pace around the room, a soft knock to the door makes him halt. A man enters into the room𑁋the doctor𑁋with a solemn expression to his face. He glances towards your unconscious body on the bed, before turning back towards Minghao.

“Comparing the results of some tests and a previous medical check-up,” The man takes a noticeable deep breath. “I’m afraid that the disease has progressed its way into their brain, and it’s hard to tell as of now when they will regain consciousness.”

Minghao's body freezes at the doctor's words, and he feels something in his chest tugging painfully at the strings of his heart. The room grows silent aside for the sound of his racing heartbeat pounding in his ears, and the rhythmic beating of the heart monitor. 

He means... that you knew all along?

The weight of it all crashes over him like a wave at high tide, and he loosens the grip he has to his fists. He swears that the ground beneath him was crumbling now as he gets himself to run back to your side and bring the hands of your lifeless form into his trembling ones. 

“Why didn't you tell me?" he whispers shakily, but his question hangs unanswered in the air. “Dammit, Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?”

He feels the anger inside of him now, but he isn’t angry at you. He’s angry at himself. He clutches at your hands tightly, his grip almost desperate with his fingers running over your knuckles. Minghao's eyes scan frantically over your face, pleading for some type of response, for any sign that you can hear him. But the silence in the room remains unchanged.

Minghao presses his quivering lips against your hand, a river of tears spilling down his face. He blames himself for not seeing the signs. He blames himself for the pain you’ve went through. All he wanted to do was bring you to a place of happiness for just a single day, but it all went downhill, and he blames no one else but himself. 

It takes a lot for Minghao to break, but not when it comes to you.

“I’ll beat you to it, Hao!”

Minghao doesn’t race after you, instead he watches with a grin to his face as you dash excitedly in the direction of the ocean water, nearly tripping in the sand in the process. The waves were calm as they crash lightly against the shoreline.  It wasn’t much cloudy than before, and the air was still as chilly as the previous days, but for some reason it felt refreshing as ever to breathe in the wintry air and a perfect time to take a stroll near the waters. 

He slowly makes his way down to the beach, hands in his pockets as he watches you stop at the edge of where the water rolls into the sand. You turn around to face him, a pout to your face that makes him chuckle to himself. 

“You’re such a slowpoke!” You exclaim to him.

When he finally makes his way right next to you, you both look out at the waters together.

“We both know I would’ve beaten you anyways.” Minghao mutters, and he hears you release an annoyed scoff. 

You turn towards him, a teasing smirk to your face. “Care to prove it?”

He raises an eyebrow as if contemplating your words for a moment. But with a sudden burst of energy, he takes off running, leaving you behind in the sand. Nothing but laughter leaves you as you follow after him, calling out his name for him to slow the heck down with your feet sinking into the softened sand with each step you took. 

It takes some time of more chasing before Minghao finally stops in front of the water. When you arrive next to him, breaths shallow and unsteady from all the running, he quickly circles his arms around your waist like a tender cocoon, pulling you into a loving back hug. 

Minghao rests his head comfortingly on your shoulder, his warm breath tickling against the skin of your neck. His touch immediately makes you lean into him, both of your gazes looking straight in the direction of the endless ocean waters. Time seems to stand still, where all the worries of the outside world melt away with each wave that comes in. It's just the two of you together, and no one else.

“I love you.” The words leave his lips like a hushed promise, even though it was only the two of you standing together. “You know that, right?”

"I know," You reply, voice barely above a whisper. “I love you too, Hao.”

As the words suspend quietly in the chilly air, a wistful breeze sweeps over the beach.

“You know I’ve always wanted to get married at the beach?”

Minghao tilts his head slightly, a soft, somewhat playful smile playing on his lips as he gazes into your eyes wonderingly.

“Is that so?” he hums. “Guess this is where we’re going to get married, then.”

You couldn’t tell if it was excitement or surprise that was raging through you. He said it so casually that it nearly makes your entire body go limp in his arms, your heart fluttering and swelling out of your chest. 

“Wow, I... I didn’t expect you to say that so easily.” You stammer out your words.

Minghao just chuckles, placing a kiss to the temple of your head. “If that’s what you want, then I promise to make it happen, love.”

You feel the smile bloom onto your face as you bring your eyes back out to the waters again. You feel him rocking you back and forth in his hold, swaying your bodies aside the small waves that come washing onto the shore. But as he continues to hold you and you notice the waves coming in heavier, the smile to your face slowly begins to fade away.

Turning around to face him, you get yourself to light up your face once more.

“Close your eyes,” You tell him, letting your fingers play with his hair flying in the breeze. “Can you do that for me?”

Minghao gives you an odd look, before complying and letting his eyes fall to a close. He feels you release yourself from his grasp until he was holding nothing, which he brings his arms back down to his side. He shivers from a sudden breeze running past him as the anticipation courses through his veins.

Seconds turn into minutes, and all Minghao can hear is the waves beginning to crash louder against the sand. But amidst the sound of nature taking its course, there's silence from you. He doesn’t hear any signs of movement, any noise that can indicate that it was you. He hears nothing.

“Y/N?” he calls out once, twice, three times. “Y/N!”

And when he finally prys open his eyes, he’s met with nothing. All he could see was the seemingly endless beach and ocean stretching out before him in all directions possible. He calls out your name again in desperation, panic, fear, but he doesn’t earn any response, feeling the tears brim in his eyes once more as he sinks to his knees in the sand.

You’re gone.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen​ @haowrld​ @ylliris-hanniehae​ @icyminghao @slytherinshua​

#kflixnet #k-labels #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #minghao imagines #minghao fluff #minghao angst #minghao x reader #xu minghao imagines #xu minghao fluff #xu minghao angst #xu minghao x reader #the8 imagines #the8 fluff #the8 angst #the8 x reader #svt fluff #svt angst #svt x reader

[gyu-effect]

Actually in line with my request for advice on relationships, if your requests are open, may I please request something sweet involving getting back together after a breakup, with a plan to make things work - so that I can cry and enjoy the fictional delusion instead? Dealers choice on which member

PAIRING || Minghao x Female Reader

GENRES || Angst

WARNINGS || none

WORD COUNT || 0.6k

A/N || i'm genuinely so sorry this took me so much time TT i really thought i would be able to do it quickly but i really wanted to answer your other ask as nicely as i could and publish this at the same time so thats why it took me so much time TT im so so sorry but i hope you enjoy this. i chose minghao cus idk...he seemed to resemble your ex and i hope this is to your liking

TAGLIST || ​@romeosbreastmilk @y00nzin0 @cecedrake2217 @candidupped @ashkuuuu @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @sea-moon-star @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hrts4hanniehae @amethyistheart @mirxzii [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

[21:13]

“you came.”

that was the first words that came out of your boyfriend, no ex boyfriend’s lips. no hi, no hello, no how are you doing. just…’you came’, straight to the point.

but you were used to that. you were used to xu minghao being straightforward and clear cut about what he wanted and what he was doing. and surprisingly, that was exactly what you loved about him.

or at least, had loved about him.

but now as you stared back at him resolutely, balling your hands into a fist as it snowed around the two of you, you could feel your entire will power crumbling as he looked at you with regret. 

no, no, y/n! you promised yourself-

“i- i thought you might not-”

“yeah i wasn’t going to.” you cut him off before he could complete his sentence. it was a lie, a very blatant lie but it was better to say that than for him to see the tears that were now beginning to sting your eyes.

“right.” he muttered, looking crestfallen. for the first time since you had met him, you noticed that he looked thinner than he used to be, with dark circles underneath his eyes. he almost looked like he had been going through a rough time himself. and somehow that made your heart clench more painfully. “i deserve that. i’m sorry.”

“i wasn’t-”

“y/n.” he cut you off, taking a step closer to you. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.”

you gulped. “why are you sorry?”

tentatively, minghao reached out for your hands and you let him take them, letting the wall you had managed to build crumble away. “i’m sorry because- because it’s my fault that we broke up. i acted so nonchalantly in the relationship-”

“what do you want?” you asked, your voice now trembling very obviously. you were tired of pretending around him, tired of pretending that you were fine about the break up when in reality it had torn you apart. 

minghao’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of your glossy eyes and he moved in even more closer. “when i was away from you, i realised that-” he gulped, “i realised that i- i really missed you. and i missed how much you always took care of me and how you were always beside me. i missed you so much, y/n.”

“why now?” you whispered, causing minghao to shake his head, as he gently brushed away the tear that had fallen down your cheek. “why now, hao? it- it hurt me so much, you know.”

“i- i know, love. i’m so, so sorry. i just didn’t have the courage after that…i’m sorry i’m such a coward.” saying that he took a step back, dropping your hands. “and i’ll understand and respect your decision if you want me to stay away from you. but y/n, i just wanted to tell you that…i love you. i really, really love you. i’ve hurt you and i’ve broken your heart and i’ll- i’ll try my level best to make up for everything i’ve done and i really love you so much y/n. but i understand if you don’t want to get back with me-”

even before he could complete his sentence, you flung your arms around his neck, engulfing him in a hug. minghao immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in even more closer as you buried your face into the crook of his neck, tears flowing down freely now.

“you idiot. you idiot.” you sobbed. “i hate you, hate you, hate you so much! i loved you so much hao, i love you so much.”

“i’m sorry.” he muttered, gently rubbing circles on your back. “i’m so sorry love.” then gently pulling you back slightly so that you could see each other, he said, “i’ll never let you go now. i promise.” he looked at you with such sincere eyes that you found yourself believing all his words. “you better.”

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

#╼ 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒 #╼ [𝟐𝟏:𝟏𝟑] #╼ 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒 #caratlibrary #minghao x reader #xu minghao x reader #the8 x reader #seventeen x reader #minghao angst #minghao fluff #xu minghao angst #xu minghao fluff #the8 fluff #the8 angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #svt x reader #svt fluff #svt angst

[jae-bummer]

Blocked Contacts

Request: can you please do #15 with a protective hao? like he gets snarky with the ex and drops his funny one liners. thank yooou! :)

Prompt:

15) You and your bias run into your ex.

Pairing: Seventeen The8 x Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst

TW: Ex repeatedly contacting Y/N and showing up at their apartment.

.

Days off with Minghao were few and far between. With your opposing schedules and general life responsibilities, it was seldom you were both sharing your small apartment at the same time. When days free of responsibilities presented themselves, it was usually a gift.

Today, however, was not.

Cursing to yourself, you shut your laptop and pushed it away. You knew a disgusted expression was plain on your face as you looked up to Minghao who was casually eating his morning yogurt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he said calmly, dragging his spoon along the bottom of the container.

"I don't know," you sighed, dropping your face into your palms.

He remained silent, the sound of metal hitting glass the only thing in the kitchen.

"If I do, I'm worried I'll get mad, and honestly, I don't want to waste that energy on him," you grumbled.

"Him?" Hao asked, trying to keep his tone casual, but you knew his curiosity had been piqued.

"My ex," you muttered, finally lifting your head. "THE ex."

"Ah," he hummed, looking back to his food. "What's he up to?"

"No idea, but he tried to message me."

"Sudden shortage of children to steal candy from?" he smirked. "Absolutely no puppies left to kick?"

"Hao," you chuckled, shaking your head. "He's not a cartoon villain."

"Forgive me, love," he sighed, leaning over to kiss you on the temple. Moving toward the sink, he dropped his spoon and spun back to face you. "But I've never met the man, so I have to go off of what you've told me."

"I hadn't realized I was giving such glowing reviews," you mused.

"Come here," Hao grinned, extending his arms, complete with grabby hands.

Narrowing your eyes at him, it took only a moment to give in. Shuffling over, you slid against his thin frame, and wrapped your arms around his waist. Nuzzling into his chest, you let out a content sigh as he rested his arms on your shoulders.

He kissed your scalp before setting his chin there. "Why are you so bothered?"

"Why aren't you?"

Hao had never been particularly jealous. He was confident in who he was, as well as your feelings for him. In his head, he had nothing to worry about, so why let an emotion as petty as jealousy creep in when he could keep it locked down?

That being said, he was human, and had gone off of his peaceful rails on occasion. This mostly happened when it came to your attention. If someone was actively trying to take away your time with him, he would have a problem with it. You were his. He had no patience for anyone who acted adversely to that.

"If I was bothered by every man who sought out to contact you, I would be incessantly grumpy," he hummed. You could hear the smile in his voice. "And at this point, I'd likely want nothing to do with any of my members and I'd be planning their demise right now."

"I kind of assumed you were planning one of their impending dooms at any given time," you teased.

"Now who's the cartoon villain?"

..

*DING*

*DING*

*DINGDING*

*DINGDINGDINGDING*

"Y/N," Minghao sighed, looking over his shoulder at you.

"Oh, so the noise is bothersome?" you laughed, dropping your phone on the coffee table. "I thought you had lost your hearing."

Pausing the program he was watching, Hao pivoted himself to face you instead of the television. "I know this is a novel idea, but have you heard of manner mode?"

"I know this is a novel idea, but have you heard of me not giving a shit?" you smirked. Pointing to your phone accusingly, you added. "Plus, I'm not the problem here."

"Well, you have my attention now," he accepted. "What's up?"

"I didn't respond to the message I got this morning," you reported. "So, homie apparently got ahold of my number somehow."

"Then block him."

"You, my love, are a genius," you beamed. "But don't you think I did that?"

Minghao rolled his eyes before scooting closer to you and picking up your phone. His face immediately warped with shock. "What is this?"

"All of the numbers he's created to contact me," you continued. "There's been at least ten at this point."

"Who does that?" he gasped, scrolling up and down. Clicking into a message, he began to read. "Why can't we just talk, Y/N? It's been so long. I've changed."

"Apparently not enough to realize I don't want to talk to him," you muttered, crossing your arms.

"Maybe it's time we start locking down you phone," Hao sighed, placing your phone back down as it continued to vibrate.

"Locking down my phone?" you asked, furrowing your brow.

Minghao pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing. "Yeah, it's common amongst idols. If someone isn't in your contacts, your phone simply will not allow them to call you."

"What about doctor's appointments?" you questioned, feeling increasingly nauseous about the new security suggestion. "Or if someone gets a new number? What am I supposed to do then? I don't have a manager to handle those types of things, Hao."

"I know," he groaned. "It was just a thought."

"Why should I have to change my life because he's an asshole?" you grumbled. "Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Short of what?" Hao chuckled, obviously frustrated. You hated that you were making this a problem for him too. Hated even more that you knew he wanted to protect you but didn't quite know how. "What do you want me to do? Hunt him down and beat some sense into his brainless head?"

"I mean, that wouldn't be entirely unappealing," you joked.

"Right," he deadpanned. "Your old boyfriend is a psychopath, and your new boyfriend is in jail for assault."

"You pretty much have a built-in gang," you grinned. "Surely at least Mingyu would be down to-"

"Y/N."

"Kidding!" you gasped, winding your body around his. "I just want him to go away."

Hao immediately melted into you, always the first to comfort when things were going sideways. "Want to order take out and forget outside communication exists?"

"That sounds lovely," you sighed. "I'll close my eyes and let you hide my phone."

"Perfect," he smiled. "No promises that I'll remember where I put it though."

"Even better."

...

You wiggled from side to side on the couch, contentment flooding through your bones. Minghao had wrapped you up in one of your softest blankets and put on one of your favorite reality shows before cuddling beside you. "I'm not sure why you watch this."

"And yet here you are," you hummed. "Brain rotting beside mine."

"I do it because I love you," he sighed. "But also, who is that? And why is the other girl yelling at him?"

"I can restart the episode, Hao," you laughed.

"No, no," he muttered, crossing his arms. He was quiet for a moment before he furrowed his brows. "Why would she do that?"

"Okay, I'm restarting-"

*Buzzzzzz* *Buzz Buzz*

"Is that the food?" you gasped, whipping your head toward your boyfriend. He grinned back before springing up.

"My food," he cackled. "Who said I was sharing?"

"Hao!" you gasped.

Giggling to himself, he began unlocking the handful of locks on the door before pulling it open. Swinging yourself around, you peeked over the back of the couch, eager to see what he had picked. Instead, you were surprised when he kept the door cracked and angled himself to hide whoever was on the other side.

"Well," you heard him say calmly. "This isn't my delivery."

"Who are you?"

If you hadn't continued breathing, you would have assumed your heart stopped. How had he found you? Better yet, how did he find the audacity to show up to where you lived with your new partner?

"I'm the person who lives here," Hao said slowly. "Do you have my chicken order or no?"

You knew that Hao was fully aware of what your ex-boyfriend looked like. He was simply toying with him at this point.

"Where's Y/N?"

You felt dizzy with anxiety. Why would he show up here? Sure, he was a supreme jerk when you had dated, but you never thought him capable of his behavior today.

"Who?" Hao asked, his voice all innocence. If you weren't hiding in the living room, fearing for your life, you would kiss him.

"I know they're here, man," your ex insisted. "Just let me see them."

"I have no idea who you're talking about," Hao said plainly. "They have a pretty name though."

If you were in better spirits, you would have giggled.

"Just-" you heard your ex begin to struggle as if he was attempting to move Hao out of the way, but your boyfriend stood firm.

"I would think before trying that again," Minghao said quietly, his tone venomous.

"I just..." your ex trailed helplessly. "I messed up. I want to make it right. I took time and realized that I really love Y/N."

"What's your name?" Hao asked, tilting his head.

"Jae," your ex said quietly.

"Funny," Minghao hmphed. "I haven't heard your name leave their lips. Not once. Plenty of other things though, my name included. Mostly in the dead of night, often loud enough for the neighbors to hear."

"So they're here?" Jae perked up.

You could hear Minghao sigh in defeat. Clearly, the bone head wasn't listening to him.

"They must have forgotten all about you," he said slowly. "Pity."

Backing away from the door, Hao slowly began to shut it. "I'll make one thing clear, so if you're going to clean the shit out of your ears and listen, now is the time. If you're not off my doorstep by the time my food delivery gets here, I will be calling the police.

And if you don't stop contacting Y/N, I'll make sure you'll have bigger problems than getting arrested."

"Are you threatening me?"

"I don't know what you mean," Hao said lightly, the door only open a few inches now.

"You just said-"

"You must have misheard," Hao sighed. "Anyways, tata, have a nice day."

Slamming the door and locking it immediately, Hao spun to look at you. "Baby?"

Having ducked back onto the couch, you tried to reclaim any semblance of calm. "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

Taking a deep breath, you popped up again and attempted a smile. "I think so?"

"I'm sorry," Hao said, immediately crossing the room toward you. Pulling your face toward his torso, he hugged your head while you were still sitting.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" you asked, looking up at him. He had done so much for you in the past day, let alone since you had been together. You didn't know if you could possibly love him any more than you did in this moment.

"That was the last thing I wanted you to have to experience," he sighed. You could tell the exchange had shaken him up more than he wanted to admit.

"Well," you said, looking up at him through your lashes. "You were extremely hot."

"Was I?" he chirped, tilting his head.

"Being assertive suites you," you grinned.

"Unfortunate," he hummed. "Because I wasn't a fan."

"That's fine," you said happily, burying your face into his stomach. "I wouldn't have you any other way."

#xu minghao #xu myungho #the8 #seventeen #svt #seventeen the8 #svt the8 #seventeen minghao #svt minghao #the8 fluff #the8 angst #the8 fanfic #the8 x reader #minghao fluff #minghao fanfic #minghao x reader #minghao angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #svt x reader

[uhdrienne]

𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 (𝐱.𝐦𝐡 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

💌 feat: idol!minghao x non-celebrity!reader (angst, i almost cried planning this oneshot)

💌 summary: once a dream relationship with the love of your life, now doomed to fail because of the media, you can only hope that minghao will think of you again -- even if it's in your wildest dreams.

💌 word count: 3.25k words

a/n: inspired by taylor swift's 'wildest dreams', bolded and italic words signify the lyrics!

"He said let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds..."

You sing the lyrics softly, looking out of the car window.

"Ironic," Your boyfriend chuckles from next to you, eyes trained ahead as he drives on the never-ending road, winding into evermore. "Exactly what we're doing now."

You let out a laugh, leaning your head on the window as he raises your interlinked hands to press a kiss on the back of your hand. "That we are, dear."

The sunset winds into the distance and shines, just the way you like it, and you pull out your camera, letting go of Minghao's hand to snap photos, much to his dismay.

"Hey," He nudges you after you're done admiring the way the oranges and yellows twist and intertwine in all the right places, and holds his hand out again. "Hold."

You pat his cheek affectionately and take his hand.

Thirty minutes later, the same man offers you his arm to hoist you up onto the roof of the van, where he insisted was the most beautiful place on earth.

You lay your head on his shoulder and sigh in content.

The sunset could shine all it wanted, and be the largest and prettiest thing in the sky, but nothing would beat the man who was currently nestled into your side, arms snug around you and smiling with the awe and love of a lifetime.

The photo you take of you two is now framed in your shared house, and your phone next to the photo frame buzzes and lights up.

"Happy two years dear, I love you to the moon and back. Sorry I had to go back to the city, but I promise I'll make it up to you."

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"Nothing lasts forever... but this is gonna take me down..."

"What did you say?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, Hao, don't be sorry," you cajole. "We'll be okay. What did the company say?"

"They'll be releasing a statement." Minghao sounds half-frustrated, half sad as he paces around, you can hear his footsteps scuffing the floor. "They're trying to do damage control, but the media is already eating it up. People are spreading the photos and I just-- I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know we wanted to keep us private."

"It was going to come out at some point," You sigh. "We both knew that."

"But it shouldn't have happened this way." Minghao counters.

"I know," You murmur, "But don't think too much and worry. We'll be fine. I love you, and I'll see you tonight, okay?"

With the promise of seeing him and spending the night together, you hang up.

Two years is a lot, you tell yourself. He'll stick by you and you'll have the ending you always dreamed of with him.

But along with the consolation came a sense of dread. Were you convincing him or yourself?

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"I can see the end, as it begins, my one..condition..is…"

"Minghao?" Your voice is meek, so scared, soft and vulnerable.

Minghao hates the way the happiness in your voice has disappeared.

"Darling?"

"Th-there's reporters shouting outside," You say, clutching the phone tight as if you could gain comfort from it. "Lots of them with cameras. They... I think you might have been followed home last night. They probably waited for you to leave."

"Shit," he curses. "Wait for me, I'll be right there."

"No!" Your voice cuts through. "You can't. Y-you'll be ambushed. I know how scary the paparazzi can get. I just--"

"Baby," He says, tears welling up in his eyes, because you’re right. He would be torn to shreds. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, a million times over. You don't deserve any of this, I-"

"No more of that," You whisper, and he goes quiet. "I love you. All I need is you. If this is what we must go through for me to be with you... so be it."

"I love you," he chokes out through a haze of tears and anguish. "I love you so, so, much, you have no idea."

"I love you too, Hao," You reply, and say that you'll hide out for a while so they'll leave before hanging up.

Minghao slumps down and cries like he's never cried before.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"I said, "No one has to know what we do", his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room...And his voice is a familiar sound..."

"Baby!" He races to you, sitting in the living room, still slightly shaken. He engulfs you in a hug. "I'm so sorry, I'll be sorry for the rest of my life..."

"It wasn't your fault," You reply softly, pulling back to cup his face, drawn and blotchy with tears. "Love you lots."

He wipes at your eyes, slightly swollen with your tears, ears still ringing with the shouts and camera clicks, eyes still seeing stars with the flashes as you stepped out to threaten calling the police.

"I love you," He weeps, clutching at the material of your clothes. "Why can't I just love you without other people getting involved?"

And you don't have an answer to that, so you just pull him in and press your mouth to his. It's salty with his tears, and he's shaking, but he hugs you tight, grip firm and unwavering.

He whispers promises into your skin, swears to every higher being that he'll keep you safe, promises that he'll love you for the rest of his life, and no one could keep him away from you, you both were too strong together for that. He tells you things will get better, they have to.

You believe him as you come undone, the tears staining the sheets beneath you.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"And when we've had our very last kiss...my last request...is.."

From that day on, everything changes, as much as you both vow to prevent it from happening.

Kisses are still shared, and movies are watched. His arms wind around you as you go to sleep, but those events are few and far between as he shuttles between you and the city, fulfilling his career.

When he comes home, he's either too tired to do anything, and you're not exactly inclined to ruin the one moment of peace he finally has for him.

What used to be a sanctuary of love and laughter and life, is now just an empty shell. Two people cohabiting in a desperate attempt to keep the flame kindled, huddling together for warmth.

You can feel it, and you know he can, too.

Things haven't gotten easier like he claimed. Your love hasn't dwindled one bit, but the media has only gotten more ferocious, even now hounding your workplace and regular haunts. You're practically confined within the walls of your home, either alone or with Minghao.

No more sunset dates. No more shared giggles under a blanket fort, no more pillow fights as he tackles you. No more late-afternoon cuddles as thin sunlight slants into the room. No more midnight instant noodle sessions. No more of anything. Silence overtakes, and the days drag by.

You know it's bubbling, the frustration, the anger at the media and at the world for being absolute busybodies, at Minghao (you don't know why), and at yourself.

And it's only a matter of time before it boils over.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

You explode in the worst way possible.

It starts when Minghao comes home, looking even more tired than usual. You don’t even look up to greet him anymore as he trudges into the room, simply humming in acknowledgement. The spark in your eyes long gone, your smile feigned.

Perhaps those were the tell-tale signs of a relationship long gone. The spark wasn’t there. None of the previous joy you felt when he came home was there.

Were you falling out of love with him? ..No, that couldn’t be it. You knew you loved him for years, ever since you set eyes on him at an art museum, and you would always love him. Now, you just felt nothing but sadness when you saw him. If it wasn’t love, you would have only felt indifference.

None of you spoke about the reporters. It was like they didn't exist, only you knew it was the opposite, with them clamouring outside, with no reprieve. It was to the point where you had to lock every door and window for fear they would break in. Yet, both of you avoided the topic like a taboo, while it loomed over your bond like a dark cloud.

You came to the conclusion that it wasn’t that you wanted this relationship to end, it was more like… you just knew it would.

What you had with Minghao would not end well. It would only end.

“Hey,” He speaks for the first time since coming home. “How was your day?”

“Nothing much,” You reply, and the kitchen goes silent.

He knew your day was nothing much. He knew why it was nothing much too. You couldn’t even go out without being mobbed by shouting reporters and blinding cameras. How well could your day have went?

“Dinner?” You ask, and he shrugs. “Sure.”

It was sad, really, you note, how quickly a conversation could end. So pitiful that a couple of over two years, who always never had enough to say to each other, had nothing to say now.

You finish dinner in silence, only the clinking of cutlery to fill in the vacancy of your voices.

After dinner he walks to the living room and you to your phone. You open up the three messages that have appeared to view them, but let out a shriek and throw your phone on the couch next to Minghao.

He raises his eyebrows at you in confusion and picks your phone up when you look back at him, eyes wide in panic.

His eyes widen the same way when he sees the graphic content of the message, the threat of the malicious sender reverberating through his mind.

“This— you…” He trails off.

“Is-is that a knife?!” You yelp. “This person just sent me a photo of a knife and threatened to kill me!”

“Baby, wait—” Minghao gets up and reaches for you, but you shrink back. “D-don’t.”

His jaw tightens as he registers the fact that you’re afraid of him. That a devil hiding behind a screen was enough to scare you away from him, the person who loved you to the ends of the earth.

“Okay.” He steps back. “Please…don’t be scared of me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Not you,” was your only whisper.

He furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“Not you,” You speak up, slightly louder than before. “Just… the fact that the rumour is out, the media at our door… we no longer have anything to say to each other… it hurts me beyond what you know.”

“I’m trying, love,” Minghao says, quietly.

“I know you are,” You reply. “Like I said, it’s not your fault.”

“But you’re hurt,” Minghao protests. “I’m hurt too, you know? I can’t even bring you out, let you live a normal life and be with you as I want. It’s not fair to me, either.”

“Nothing was fair from the moment the articles broke,” You reply softly, tears coming to your eyes. “That what we have is seen like…a mistake. A sin. That you, just loving someone, is the greatest wrongdoing. That reporters found the need to stay at our door just for pictures of us. That someone found the need to threaten to kill me.”

“That’s not fair,” Minghao protests again, tears welling up too. “You’re not the only one suffering here. I am too! My career, my relationship, all of that shoved into the limelight. Do you know what that feels like?”

“I don’t,” You answer. “I know I will never fully understand your situation. All I’m asking is…can’t we just—”

“Pretend nothing happened? Go on with this?” Minghao’s voice cracks. “You don’t want that. You do not. We can’t.”

“Why not?” You ask.

“Because nothing will ever be the same! Nothing we do can let us go back to before. You are hurt and stuck here, I am done for, we are now shackled here—”

“Shackled?” You ask quietly. “Is this what it is?”

“No, I—”

“I think I’ve known for a while,” You say. “That it’s not ‘if’ we will end, it’s when we will.”

“W-What?”

“There isn’t anything there anymore, Hao,” You throw your hands up. “Hell, we don’t even have anything to say to each other!”

“What can I say?! That my career is half ruined, my relationship dying away, my fans threatening to end us both?!”

You turn away, wiping the tears off your cheeks. “You should go, Minghao. I...I don’t want to keep you here if you don’t want to be. I'm so sorry...”

"Why won't you fight for us?" His voice is a deathly whisper.

"What?"

"Why... I know it's hard but... why-why are you giving up?"

"Giving up...?"

"You gave up on us." He breaks into a sob. "We don't talk because every time I look at you, I can't help but keep thinking about how much better your life could have been. You could go on sunset drives whenever you want. You could have spent night after night in blanket forts without a care in the damn world, without worrying that one day someone's going to break the door down and do something to you. You-"

"Thinking like that was always meaningless without you, Hao," You let out a humourless laugh. "All I wanted to do those things with was you."

"We can still do it all," He says, striding towards you. "I told you. I won't leave you."

"But you have to." You murmur back. "I've seen the reports. You're one of the highest-rising stars now. You're worlds away from where I am. And just being me, being bombarded with attention like this, attention I don't want, day in and day out, it... it suffocates me."

"So that's it?" He asks dejectedly. "You don't want me anymore?"

"I do want you, it's all I want," You try to gesture, try to tell him what you mean, but he shakes his head.

"You used to say that with so much life. Now... it's like a stranger telling me that." You look at him, eyes pleading, tears spilling over.

He takes a step back, eyes scanning you like it's the last time he'll see you. "I'm so, so sorry I put you through this. I-I'll go. I'll go now."

He comes forward and cups your face. He leans in, and kisses your forehead. The delicate action and gentleness of it all, combined with the salty tang of his tears, makes you tear up again.

“Say you remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe…”

You register the front door closing behind him. He’s gone, and God knows if he’ll ever return.

That night, you turn off the lights, make sure the windows are closed, but you leave the wooden door unlocked. You never locked it when he hadn’t come back.

You tuck yourself in, the way you like it, the way Minghao does it, and fall into a fitful sleep, the last words you uttered to each other ringing in your head.

When you wake up the next morning, Minghao hasn’t come back.

Something just tells you he won’t return this time.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

“Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you’ll see me again…” The tinny sound from the aged record player plays, prompting you to hum along to the tune.

“XU MINGHAO, singer, makes record-breaking return to the stage, set to perform...”

“Three years on — where is XU MINGHAO’s mysterious ex-partner now?”

“Woman spotted outside his apartment — liar or lover?”

You close the papers.

You smile. He’s on top of the world, just like he dreamed.

And you… you were just here. Alone, but moderately content, and at peace.

The media had left you alone from the third week that Minghao didn’t return. They probably deemed you less newsworthy, you muse, as you pour yourself another cup of coffee.

You sip coffee as you sift through your mail. You pick up an envelope, and smile at your friend’s invitation to an awards ceremony. Knowing that you were a fan of one of the performing ballad singers, she, as part of the management team, had taken it upon herself to secure you a ticket.

You get up and stretch. It was time to go to the city.

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

"And now, winning the most prestigious award of the night, the Artist of the Year..." The announcer smiles, stage makeup bold and sparkling against the lights. She steals a look at the card in her hand, takes a deep breath.

"Xu Minghao!"

Your hand flies to your mouth as the big screen shows his face, smiling as he waves, bows, and walks to the stage. You don't look out of place, as just about every fangirl is doing the same. Tears come to your eyes and you blink them away.

He's just as dashing as ever. Decked in a smart suit and jacket to match, with small, sleek hoops in his ears, and lips curved in a charming smile, he accepts the award and addresses the crowd.

"I...I'm beyond honoured to stand here today," His eyes dart about, trying to capture every pair of eyes from his vision. "You know I owe just about everything to my fans, new and old, my family, and my friends who've been with me through everything."

He visibly swallows. "And there's one more person, one really, really special person I want to thank."

He stretches out his hand and smiles as if beckoning to someone, and a beautiful lady hesitantly steps up, dressed in a gorgeous champagne-coloured gown, soft curls in her hair, a bounce in her step.

"She saw me through the darkest period of my life," He says, clutching onto the lady's hand like a lifeline. "From strangers to friends, from friends to lovers, I want her to know she's my day one."

The cameras and fans go wild, everyone clamouring to get a better glimpse as the woman smiles at him, full of adoration like he once used to look at you, and they share an embrace on the stage, the host cutting in to sing praises of the newly hard-launched couple.

Meanwhile, you sit, rooted to your place, as you watch them. But it isn't overwhelming sadness that engulfs you. It isn't any form of bitterness or resentment. The sweet tang of pride, that he can now freely love, and gratitude, that his new love was doing what you failed to, rests on your tongue.

You rise to your feet. As you're in a row closer to the front, it isn't hard to get out. As you walk towards the exit, you glance back one last time, only to have shock rain down on you as he locks eyes with you from the stage.

The shock dies away swiftly, only to be replaced by soft joy. You smile slightly and nod at him once, with nothing but sincerity in your eyes, and watch the relief sag on his shoulders as he smiles and nods back. Even with no words shared, he knows you've both found your ending.

"Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah, huh..."

───✱.｡:｡✱.:｡✧.｡✰──────✱

writer's note:

first ever oneshot and this was...sad? but also i wrote this in one day and almost decided not to publish it because it was so rough lol

but please enjoy! any feedback and interactions are welcome :> thank you for reading!!

#svt fic #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt #seventeen the8 #the8 #the8 x reader #myungho #seventeen #xu minghao #minghao #seventeen x reader #svt angst #angst #seventeen angst #xu myungho #xu minghao x reader #xu minghao x you #xu minghao fanfic #the8 angst #seo myungho #svt fanfic #svt fluff #kpop #kpop imagines #svt the8 #the8 imagines #svt x you #svt x y/n #svt xu minghao

[synthetickitsune]

Like Oxygen ✧ x.mh

Pairing: Xu Minghao x reader Genre: angst, comfort Summary: Sometimes there are so many thoughts in your head you forget about the wonders of life. And sometimes life is so hard you forget how to breathe. Word count: 1.5k Warnings: depression, self-destructive tendencies

"I don't know if you're doing this on purpose or not but it feels like revenge."

Minghao's voice is that faux cold of feigned disinterest that he uses to hide his vulnerability.

Because it was supposed to be revenge, you think, it was revenge until it wasn't.

You don't acknowledge his words, let them hang in the heavy air of the dark bedroom. You screw your eyes shut so tightly you see white and try to imagine the quiet, tiny, hurt, sigh that leaves Hao's lips and that he tries to hide doesn't feel like a punch to the gut.

There's a limit to the strain you can put on the relationship before it gets irreparably damaged or breaks. When a person is as sensitive as Minghao is, it's hard to say whether the point is further away or closer than you thought. You know he'll try to understand and think deeper than simply believing you are ignoring him for the sake of upsetting him. Then again, him saying this, and in this way too, is a warning sign. A pretty bright, flashing, neon-colored one.

You suppose something did snap inside you after that fight. Well, a bit after that. At first you did indeed mean to give him the cold shoulder, because you were petty and, yeah, some things he said cut a bit too deep even if they were true. Then again, you were working through them. Until life happened, and work got busy, and you had to do overtime day after day and started coming home late and all you managed to do was wash up before falling asleep. Everything got kind of thrown out of the window then.

Maybe it's best if you keep ignoring him. Maybe if you're distant for long enough, it'll ruin things beyond repair and… well, it's not like you can find it in yourself to care right now. Maybe the pain would help you feel again. Maybe you just wanna feel like you’re right about something - even if it has to be Minghao inevitably leaving you because he deserves better. Maybe if you weren't already half asleep, you'd get to the point in the thought process where you'd realize how little sense that makes. Maybe.

Come morning, and the one after that and the one after that… you can’t even properly register your thoughts anymore. Everything just drags on for eternity and you feel yourself spiraling into lethargy that is only broken by a stabbing pain in your chest each time you see Minghao. Some part of you wants to spit his words right into his face, some part of you understands, and much, much larger part of you wants to run to him and cling to him and beg for his love.

You know he’s not doing this on purpose. You know he’s also busy. You know he’s, most of all, just trying to protect himself. It hurts nonetheless, more so because you know it’s you who he’s raising his defenses against.

But you need him.

You need him more than ever because this is hard and it’s too much, and you feel like weight just keeps getting added onto your shoulders, and yet you keep carrying it so it’s shattering you instead of breaking you at once. You need him but he’s so cold and far away and it feels like you’ve finally done it and he’s not gonna return. You will lose him and you’ll be right but it doesn’t feel like you’ve won anything because you played a stupid game and all you’re gonna get is a stupid prize.

When Minghao comes home, he expects the silence that’s been basically the trademark of your home for what, weeks? Months? It’s getting hard to tell and if he got to think about it any more he’d probably break down. He doesn’t get to, though, because the moment he closes the door and the sounds coming from the street can no longer be heard, he hears badly muffled sobbing instead.

It’s like an instinct. 

His body moves regardless of his will, his legs carry him towards the sound in a rush and determination that ignores that he’s still wearing shoes and that the bag with his laptop hit the ground without the usual caution he puts it down with. His mind is blank and all he feels is a cold dread.

He barely registers where he is, where you are, he only comes back to his senses when his arms are wrapped tightly around your trembling form and he’s pulling you into his chest and tucking your head under his chin and he’s shushing you, whispering sweet nothings and trying to calm you down. He tries to be sneaky when his hands move slowly over your body, trying to feel if you’re physically hurt somehow. He needs to know you’re okay and he realizes that’s what he should’ve been doing this whole time - make sure you’re okay. But he was too hurt himself and he failed to do that and while he understands he was in no state to care for both you and himself, it still leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

“Shhh, y/n…” he murmurs and he feels his voice break, “Tell me what you need.”

“Just hold me,” you sob and he’s thrown into the ice cold water of regret and pain all over again. He’s so tired, his body is exhausted, and yet somehow he finds the strength to pull you closer and uses the last of it to hold you like that until the oxygen in your lungs runs out. And still he feels you nuzzling closer and your hands grabbing at his clothes like he’s your lifeline and after being denied the feeling of being important to you for so long, it feels addictive. This is what he wants to be to you. This, sans the crying, is what he wants to come home to.

“Breathe with me,” he whispers, but he only feels you move closer, feels you bury your face into his chest. But that’s not where you’ll find air to breathe. It feels like the cruelest thing he’s ever done when he’s coaxing you to pull away enough to look at him. He wants to keep reliving the moment you immediately lean your forehead against his like you can’t stand being without him if only for a second. He keeps one arm around your waist while he cups your face with his other hand. He brushes your tears away as gently as he can with his shaky touch. Your eyes are so captivating he can’t look away.

“Breathe for me,” he whispers and you’re close enough that his lips brush against yours. His hand never leaves your skin as it slides down your jaw to your neck, down your shoulders and lower until it finds your hand. He intertwines your fingers while he brings it up to his chest and splays your palm over his heart. “Please. Can you feel me? Breathe with me.”

And so you do.

He adjusts his breathing to yours first so it’s easier. He guides you like he always does - gently, lovingly. Slowly he helps you calm down and steady your breathing. Neither of you can tell if you take in a deep breath or if your lips meet for a kiss before you part.

It feels unpleasant, to part. You’ll have to face the past weeks now. You’ll have to explain. It makes you want to forget the last couple minutes, that really felt like a whole another lifetime, and imagine they were just a dream. You want to go back just to avoid the confrontation.

“I still want to hold you,” Minghao says before your flight reflex can win over the fight one, “If you want me to.”

You feel the tears flowing slower now, as you smile a wobbly smile and huff a laugh. He doesn’t ask. He doesn’t push you into anything. He doesn’t push you away without meaning to. As you’d know he wouldn’t if you remembered sooner that this is Minghao who knows you best in this world.

You trust him with your soul to guide you through this when you slide your hands into his. You let him pull your along and let him take you to the couch. You know he’ll catch you when he pulls you down and makes you fall. When he pushes you against the back of the couch and traps you between it and his body, you feel safe.

He pulls the weighted blanket you keep there for times like these over your bodies. His arms fit snuggly around your body and it soon gets nicely toasty under the soft fabric covering you. You cuddle closer to him and close your eyes. It’s safe.

You’re safe.

And you know he’ll keep it that way.

You know he won’t ask, and you know he’ll wait until you’re ready. No matter how long that is.

Maybe this time you won’t have to run.

Maybe.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #svt angst #the8 scenarios #minghao scenarios #the8 x reader #minghao x reader #the8 angst #minghao angst

[haoboutyou]

taking it slow | xu minghao

angst | 1.1k words | warnings: y/n gets a panic attack

an: and if i told you this was based off a dream i had a whole year ago?

These past few months had been an absolute mess for you. Missed deadlines, cracked phone, broken bag straps; you thought the world had already thrown its all at you. Clearly, you didn’t take into account your soulmate throwing himself at you too.

Ever since the day you bumped into Minghao at the train station– ever since the moment the offending red string materialised on your pinkies– it was like he was following you everywhere. The cafe? He was in line behind you. The grocery store? Minghao’s in the baking aisle, checking out a new brand of flour. In every encounter, he would try to approach you. The florist you work at? He was buying flowers for his mom (your heart melted a little at this- he was buying them just because). And in every encounter, you would try to run away.

Which was why you’re frustrated as to how he’s managed to corner you here: in an art gallery, in the middle of an exhibition. You were caged against the wall by Minghao as you were walking, hidden right behind a pair of potted plants.

(You find out later that he worked there. And that it was his exhibition that you were walking through. Of course, he works at the art gallery, you think.)

“Y/n, look at me.” Minghao’s hands grasped you by your shoulders. Head tilted, he tried to make eye contact, but your lowered head wasn’t doing much for him. He sighed. “Y/n, stop running away. You know you’ll have to face me sooner or later. Come on.”

You couldn’t. Looking at him meant you were accepting the fate that was destined for both of you. Soulmates?! The very thought of the universe forcing two strangers together for the rest of their lives made you feel queasy. Your commitment issues or lack thereof were quaking in their boots.

“Y/n,” his voice was softer this time. Gently, Minghao’s fingers cupped your chin in the warm embrace of his hand, his thumb caressing the soft curve beneath. With a tender touch, he lifted your chin, guiding your gaze upward. Your eyes met, yours already brimming with tears threatening to roll down anytime. It was a gesture so intimate and reassuring, as if he held not just your chin but also a delicate moment suspended in time.

He sighed as his thumb delicately swiped across your cheek. His touch, so warm and comforting that you had to fight the urge to lean into his palm. “Y/n,” he started once more.

“You’re important to me. I need you to know that.”

“You don’t even know me, Xu Minghao.”

“I know you like vanilla lattes. I know you prefer cats over dogs, and how you like lily of the valleys because they’re your birth flower.” The deadpan look on your face despite the dried streaks of tears elicited a small laugh from him. “I’ll take all the time in the world to get to know you. Please, Y/n. Can’t you see the red string on our hands?”

As if doused by cold water, you tore yourself away from his touch. Your eyes drifted down to where Minghao was referring to. Yes, that stupid red string was still connected to your hands. It had never disappeared, ever since you had first met Minghao all those months ago.

Of course, everyone has a soulmate; it wasn’t rare for people to meet their destined partner at all. However, that didn’t mean that all relationships the red string had helped to bind were happy ones. You’ve seen your fair share of people perpetually had their trust in their red strings of fate torn apart and broken. You didn’t want to put your all in a ‘destined’ relationship only for it to fall apart and ruin your life, just like all of theirs.

Anxiety gripped you like a relentless tide, each wave threatening to pull you under. Your breaths quickened, shallow and erratic, and your chest tightened with an overwhelming sense of dread. The world around you blurred as a suffocating sense of panic took hold.

“Hey, hey…” you didn’t notice when Minghao approached you again, but this time you let yourself melt in the comfort of his arms. His protective grip around you tightened as you felt yourself let go, slumping into his chest as sobs shook through your whole body. He continued holding you firmly, palms rubbing slow circles on your back as he whispered words of comfort in your ears.

Your fists clenched up against his chest, tears staining his carefully pressed shirt. Not that it mattered to him- comforting you was his top priority now. Minghao, ever loving, patted your hair, gentle whispers of “I’m right here,” and “it’s going to be okay,” every once in a while. It took you a while, but eventually, your sobs subsided into little hiccups and pants. Minghao looks down at you, using his sleeves to wipe away any more tears on your face. He couldn’t help himself; he chuckled a little upon seeing your pout. Even during a mental breakdown, you’re still the most precious thing in his eyes.

“S-sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Your hands betrayed your inner turmoil, fingers restlessly intertwining and then pulling away as if unable to find solace in each other's company. Minghao took it upon himself to separate them by intertwining his slender fingers with yours. “It’s okay. You’re fine. I’m right here.”

His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand, a silent language of comfort and connection. Each gentle brush carried a whisper of comfort that was beyond words. The world outside vanished in that little instant, and the simple, tender gesture spoke volumes about the unspoken bond you clearly shared.

Minghao cleared his throat, catching your attention once again. “I’m aware… that you don’t like the whole idea of soulmates. I’m still interested in you, and I’d love to get to know you more. As friends! We don’t have to date if you don’t want to.

“I’m glad the red string brought you to me. I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if I let you go.” He chuckled, a pained expression despite the loving smile on his face. “What I’m trying to say is: I’ll take responsibility for everything. Please, Y/n. Trust me. Give me a chance. Don’t just push me away like this.”

Your silence was deafening to him. Still, Minghao waited patiently for you, rubbing slow circles on the back of your hands. You couldn’t phantom how someone could have so much love for a person they barely knew, yet Xu Minghao exceeded your expectations over and over again. You sighed, finally giving in to his puppy-dog eyes.

“Okay,” you breathed. “Friends first.”

He heaved a sigh of relief, heart already swelling with affection for you. He nodded.

“Friends first.”

#seventeen scenarios #the8 #xu minghao #minghao #seventeen #seventeen drabbles #svt #the8 angst #xu minghao angst #minghao angst #svt drabbles #minghao drabbles #the8 drabbles #˙✧˖° aiyu writes ༘ ⋆｡˚

[bobbasmultiverse]

strawberries and cigarettes m.list

pairing: kwon soonyoung x wonwoo's sister!oc, xu minghao x wonwoo's sister!oc

genre: fluff, angst, love triangle, friends to lovers

synopsis: two minor, what you'd call, incidents, lead up to the craziest few months of your life, where you make friendships and break some and you end with having to make the craziest choices of your life; to be young and free forever, or to have the best love of all time.

warnings: oc goes by 'won', other warnings will be listed in each chapter, features oc's and a few members of MONSTA X, STRAY KIDS and TWICE

author's note: hi. so, this has been a work in progress since like july? so hope y'all like it

comment under here to be added to the taglist!

updates most Mondays and Thursdays

started: 03/12/23

finished: --/--/--

song of the day:

profiles

1 | 2 | 3

parts

1. kdrama moment

2. i made a friend!!

3. wow. | written

4. the biggest gasp of all gasps

5. crescendo | written

6. shocking

7. not a date (?)

8. newbie bimbo | written

➥ 8.5. TWICE - What is Love

9. if we never try... | written

10. korea's last cyclist

loading...

#kwon soonyoung x reader #xu minghao x reader #seventeen x reader #hoshi x reader #the8 x reader #hoshi imagines #the8 imagines #seventeen imagines #hoshi fluff #the8 fluff #seventeen fluff #hoshi smau #the8 smau #seventeen smau #hoshi angst #the8 angst #seventeen angst #seventeen scenarios #Spotify

[wonwoonlight]

there’s not a single star in the sky | xu minghao & kim mingyu

➝ Minghao x Reader / Mingyu x Reader // not a love triangle

➝ soulmate!au // angst // somewhat slowburn // fluff in between? // a journey of acceptance and moving on

➝ total word count: 12k

➝ notes, warnings: my sorry attempt of an angst <//3, it doesn't end badly i promise, curses, food, mentions of death, OC is trying to hold back her tears for like.. 80% of the fic, probably some grammatical errors and typos, not beta-ed D: i purposefully write some stuff vaguely. that's it, tell me if there's more!

➝ summary: he’s your soulmate. so why did the universe also decide he’s not the one you’re going to spend your forever with?

or, alternatively:

Minghao was there to fill the space Mingyu left behind; but you'd never expected to what extent he was meant to do it for.

➝ A/N: it's late and i didn't mean this to be your bday fic but.. happy bday hao!! i'll shut up and say more at the end. pls enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

여기 이 세상이 아름다운 건 the reason why this word is beautiful

그대가 머문 흔적들 때문에 아마 is probably because it has traces of you [Jo Sungmo - Do You Know]

When you first met Minghao, he was there to be your roommate.

It's been months since Mingyu left, almost a year, really, and as much as it still hurts and the thought wells up tears in your eyes, Jeonghan is right when he said it's time you need to pick up the pieces broken by the love of your life.

–the first step being moving out of the place you had bought together with him. Saying it hurts is starting to get repetitive at this point, but it really does and you have no idea how many times you’ve broken down crying the more you pack, your eyes red beyond measure and your chest physically aches that it’s hard to breathe. 

The apartment is practically empty except for the furniture, nothing inside screams you or Mingyu anymore except for one single photograph and it sends you into a spiral of sadness that you can’t comprehend how to handle. Your eyes wander to the empty wall on top of the TV, already rid of photographs Mingyu had taken and decided to frame because “angel, this is a masterpiece!” like he didn’t say it everytime he decided to frame more pictures and hang them on the walls (mostly of you both together).

You close your eyes and exhale a deep breath at the memories, hating the way your lips still tremble at the thought of him, then gently wipe the tears lining up your eyes before they turn into yet another waterfall.

There’s only one big picture left on the wall, a photograph of a daffodil field you both had gone to two years ago and is easily the most beautiful place you’ve ever stepped your feet on. You insisted that the picture stays though Jeonghan said it’d be better to take everything down. But as much as you know his memories hurt you, you don’t want to erase him just because you’re struggling; that picture is the one Mingyu loved the most and you think it’s only right to let it be.

So it can guard your home once you’re no longer there.

Kim Mingyu is still the most wonderful thing that has ever happened in your life and you want to keep his memories with you no matter what.

“When is your cousin moving in?” Jeonghan asks as you put the last of your belongings. Most of your stuff is already in your new place, and while you couldn’t bear to sell the apartment, you heard from your mom that your cousin is looking for a place in your area because she’s starting university soon; so she’s going to move in and rent your place at least until she finishes her study. 

You’re not that close with her, but know her well enough to know that she’s nice and isn’t the type to mess around. Which is good, because if you’re close with her then you’d be finding reasons to visit just to be in the apartment. This way, you know your place will be in good hands and, for now, that’s the only thing you can ask for.

“In two weeks. She’ll start moving her stuff next week though.” It’s weird to be talking about someone else living in a place where your love bloomed, but it’s really for the best and you understand that it’s getting more unhealthy for you if you continue your way of living the way you do. Even one year is already pushing it.

“You’re still moving tomorrow though, right?” your best friend nudges you, and you nod as you try to shrug the weight lingering on your chest. Your silence concerns him despite your nod, so Jeonghan takes your hand and squeezes it lightly. “Do you want me to stay the night?”

“It’s okay, Han.” You smile weakly. As much as you want Jeonghan to hold you through the night because you know you’ll be crying, you want to spend your last night here by yourself. You want to cry one last time so you can let everything go. You want to bask in Mingyu’s memories, in his fading scent, and in the place where the love you shared with him grew the most.

And as you cry yourself to sleep that night in your empty bedroom, screaming for Mingyu’s name into your pillow again and again like it’d bring him back to you, you think you can feel his arms holding you once again the moment your consciousness gives up, almost like a dream you wish you never wake up from.

Your new roommate is perceptive and you’re not sure yet whether you like it or not.

“You look tired.” He smiles politely, though you can tell that the look in his eyes is closest to what you’d describe as pitiful.

Of course you look pitiful, you woke up with your head pounding due to your excessive crying the night before and you could barely open your eyes because of the very same reason.

“I was going to talk to you about rules and all that but I think that can wait.”

“Thank you,” you say without offering any reason, you don’t owe him any explanations anyway. “I just need some sleep though, can we talk about it later tonight?”

Minghao nods, the smile on his face so warm that your heart would probably skip a beat if not for your current predicament. You wince at the way your heart clenches, Mingyu’s name once again echoing in your head. Feeling heat creeping up against your neck, you reach up to touch the skin behind your ear, a habit you always do, something Mingyu teased you about since the time you went on your first date together.

Ah, fuck. You really should stop yourself from thinking about him too much.

“It must’ve been hard moving all that stuff. Have a good rest,” Minghao ushers you before you can say anything, which you thankfully nod at, and you immediately bolt to your new room before you embarrassingly cry in front of him out of nowhere. 

You don’t need to know Minghao hears your cry because you didn’t close the door properly, his concerned eyes rooted to the floor as he closes the door for you, the soft click barely even a noise upon your heart silenced sobs.

It’s later that night that he sees you again, already fresh in new clothes and looking comparably better than earlier though your puffy eyes are a dead giveawa. Minghao has never been one to pry, but his heart is made to care for others and he’s trying hard not to ask if you’re okay, to pretend like the sound of you crying didn’t tug something in his heart.

Xu Minghao is born to care for those around him but he’s not sure why you crying hurts him this much when you’re practically a stranger renting the available room in his house.

“Want to order something?” He forces himself to say, wondering if he’s crossing any line; do you even have any intention to befriend him? He’s still not sure why you’re moving into his place, the most he has heard from you was you’re simply looking for a new environment, and Junhui, a mutual friend of the both of you, has only told him that you’re going through a lot so he might want to be careful overall.

When Minghao asks if there’s anything he should know out of concern, the older guy has simply said it’s not his story to tell and reminds him to be mindful if you’re ever visibly struggling in front of him.

“I was wondering what to eat for dinner. You can join me if you want. It’s okay if you don’t, though.”

Unexpectedly, you send a soft smile his way with a nod, then make your way to sit on the single sofa next to him and hug the cushion on your lap. “Sure. What’s good around here?”

“Mmm. What do you feel like eating?” He turns to look at you, only to find your fingers playing with the skin near your ear as you purse your lips in thought. It’s the first time he has the chance to actually look at you, and he scolds himself for being a teenager when it pops into his mind how soft your skin looks followed by the question of how it’d feel under his touch.

“Anything’s fine except for pasta.” 

“You don’t like pasta?”

“I do. I think they’re too heavy if we eat them now though.”

Minghao hums in agreement, but you say he can order whatever he feels like eating because you can eat just about anything as long as it’s not too creamy at the moment. “Surprise me,” you tell him, your voice a little too cheerful for someone who was crying a few hours ago. He tries to get it off his mind though, because it’s none of his business and you’re not even friends yet at this point.

He doesn’t even know why it bothers him that much. Perhaps he’s been thinking about Junhui’s words too much, be careful and be mindful. As someone who’s used to catering to other’s feelings, Minghao finds it hard to stay still when he knows someone near him is struggling. It’s obvious from your body language though; the way you’re internally exhausted but are trying your best to look okay.

Maybe moving to his place is your first step to overcoming whatever you’re going through. Whatever it is, Minghao decides that’s where he should stop assuming and reminds himself once again that it’s none of his business.

“So,” he starts after ordering food. He figures he should at least talk about the house rules if there’s no other topic at hand. “I’m not very strict about rules, to be honest. Some of the rules I always tell people are just basic ones like: let me know if you’re going to have friends around, though I’m not too comfortable with anyone staying overnight, so just make sure to ask me first before you let anyone stay over; don’t be too loud; and let’s clean after ourselves? These apply to the both of us though, so I promise I’ll stand by them too.”

“Yeah, sure.” You nod in agreement. He’s right. Those are basic rules, he’s just asking you to have manners and be aware that you’re living with someone else. But you can tell from his first impression alone that Minghao is the kinda person that’s considerate and proper. He didn’t ask for anything too personal when he first met you to talk about your possible coliving situation, and it was easy to tell that Minghao was just looking for someone that’s…, well, also proper.

He was just the right amount of friendly. You didn’t talk with him for that long that day, but you could tell that you both passed each other’s vibe check and you were glad when Minghao called a week later to say you’re welcome to move in anytime the month after if you’re still looking for a place to stay.

“I don’t have that many friends so you don’t have to worry.”

He chuckles at that, glad that you’re comfortable enough to make a joke. "We'll get along just fine then."

The silence after that is a bit awkward, though it's not enough to make anyone uncomfortable. You wonder if you're simply imagining Minghao's extra careful words and gestures or if he’s simply that type of person to begin with. 

He does seem the type to be certain with his lines.

"You're home a lot, then?" He tries to stay on the housing topic, a very safe topic that hopefully wouldn't cross any line.

“Yeah. I really mostly go out when my friends invite me or if I want to take a walk, else I’m basically holed up in my room.” You shrug then return the question, though from the few times you dropped by the house when you moved your things over you can already tell that Minghao is about the same.

“Mmm. I enjoy both my time inside and outside,” he purses his lips in thoughts, a tilt of his head accompanying his words. “Depends on the day, I think. Sometimes I actively try to find places to try out, sometimes I’m happy to be in my studio and paint for the whole day.”

“You paint?” Your tone is more excited than you intend it to be, though it really makes sense because you notice there are a lot of paintings throughout the living room. And now you wonder if those are his own paintings, which Minghao shyly nods to, the sheepish smile on his face growing the more you sing praises to his talent. “Wow. I’ve always wanted to paint, you know? But my hands are not made for art so…”

“That’s nonsense.” He frowns like your sentence personally offends him, his words bringing tears to your eyes before you even realize. “Art is for everyone. Have you actually tried painting?”

‘Angel, that is not a painting!’ Mingyu laughed with the entirety of his chest, not minding your pout even the tiniest bit. ‘That’s just doodles. Gosh, you’re so cute.’

‘I told you I didn’t want to do this!’ you whined as you tried to get away from his embrace. Seriously, this guy was a good 20cm taller than you and he liked to just bend down and bury his face onto your neck like it’s not physically uncomfortable for him to do so. ‘I’m not going to let you plan another date.’

Mingyu simply grinned and hugged you tighter at that, knowing full well that you didn’t mean any of it.

‘Art is for everyone though,’ he whispered with a laugh, his lips upon your cheek. ‘You did great. We should try watercoloring sometimes.’

“Did… I say something wrong?” Minghao’s worried voice brings you back to the present, and you blink back the tears before they actually fall down, your voice caught in your throat.

“No.” You clear your throat then excuse yourself to the bathroom in hope Minghao doesn’t notice anything. From the way he simply nods, you hope that’s the case, but the gentle eyes full of concern following you until the bathroom door closes certainly implies otherwise. 

Minghao brushes the mark near his collarbone, its jet black color reminding him of things he’d rather not remember anymore. It used to be so vibrant with color, then they bleed out at once one day, turning into such a dark black it contrasts against his skin.

There’s something else Junhui said that has been bothering him, something that he thinks is the main reason why he’s more attentive to you than anything.

‘I can’t say much. But if there’s anyone who understands her struggle, it might be you. Just… don’t push her, yeah?’

He’s not sure how close you are exactly with Junhui. But if the older guy is able to say that, he supposes you’re either closer than he’s assumed, or you’re related in more ways that he could imagine. You did find out he had an available room from Junhui.

It doesn’t feel right to go through yours or Junhui’s social media just for the sake of it. But, from what he remembers, you definitely don’t appear enough on Junhui’s account for you to be in his close circle. Plus, if you’re actually close, the older guy would’ve probably brought you to hang out with him a long time ago; Junhui likes to blend all of his friends, after all. So you’re probably a friend of a friend, or there’s a situation that Junhui happens to know.

Whatever it is, it bothers him. Are you struggling like he was?

Minghao bites his lip and grazes his soulmate mark again, why is he talking like he’s over it now? As much as he’s coping, said that he’s okay now because that's all he’s managed to be, he’s still far from acceptance. 

He’s still far from making peace with it.

His eyes flicker to you again as you return and sit back down on the sofa. You force a perfect smile, one that would fool anyone into thinking you’re actually fine. Not him though, because if there’s anything he recognizes, it’s the emptiness in your eyes despite the way they turn into crescents. He’s practiced the same exact smile way too many times not to recognize it on others.

If there’s anything Minghao knows, it’s the eyes of people who are hurting.

And if there’s anything else he understands, it’s that they don’t always want to talk about it. That everyone hangs on differently and he doesn’t know you well enough to know how you cope and how you hurt.

So he does what he usually do: offer comfort in the subtlest way possible by change the topic.

“But, then again, it’s not for everyone,” he shrugs almost nonchalantly. If anyone else is in the room, he’s sure they would notice the way he’s blatantly staring at you in worry. But, fortunately for Minghao, there’s no one and you’re too busy calming yourself down to notice. “What do you do in your spare time?”

“Actually,” you shake your head like you’ve made a resolve, like you didn’t even hear his question. Your voice falters a little as you say your next words, but Minghao listens attentively as he pretends not to notice the quiver in your gaze. “I would like to try painting. I did it a long time ago but… maybe it’s time to try doing it again.”

“You sure?” he questions, something weird stirring in his heart at how determined you look. It’s most likely the romantic side in him; he’s always liked seeing people doing their best. There’s just something so beautiful about people who try, and he supposes it’s the fact that he knows the look in your eyes, recognizes a similar kind of pain reflected in them, then knowing that you’re doing your best to be okay again.

It’s almost like he’s seeing himself a few months back (has it really not been a year since he’s started to learn how to accept?), and while his heart warms at the fact that you’re trying, it makes him wonder if this was how people felt when they saw him before.

“Yeah. I think it’d be fun,” you say vaguely, knowing that your tone itself sounds unsure. Still, you’re thankful that Minghao doesn’t say anything about it as he nods and says that he’d send you the address of a cafe that allows their customers to draw on a paper and turn the result into a keyring; that he thinks that would be casual enough for you to try and have fun because an actual painting studio might feel suffocating if you’re not into it 

You falter at the mention of the familiar cafe, one that you haven’t gone to but remember Mingyu had mentioned before. You can probably still find its name and address somewhere on your phone, because Mingyu had insisted you make a list of places you should go together to, though you gave up updating it along the way

“It’s the one with a sloth mascot, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you been?” Minghao bites his lip at the slight tremble of your lip, did he say something wrong again?

“No, actually.” You force a small smile, one that looks sad, if anything, and Minghao’s heart is so close to breaking that it’s almost stupid. Why is he so emotional today? You’re just his new roommate, for God’s sake. “But I… I’ve heard of it, yeah.”

A heavy silence envelopes the room after that; you, deep in your mind, and Minghao, unsure what to say. Considering Junhui’s words and the way he sees himself in you, he dares to jump into conclusion and wonders what could possibly happen to your soulmate for you to be this way; to be constantly in and out of your memory in the span of thirty minutes he’s been talking with you.

Did they leave you like his soulmate did? He winces at the thought of her, the urge to reach for his mark makes his fingers ball into fists. But he waves it away and, thankfully, the bell rings indicating the arrival of your food.

Fortunately, the food is enough distraction for you two. You hum in delight once Minghao opens the packaging of the food, the smell filling the room immediately that your stomach growls a little. You’re both more hungry than you thought also, because the food is gone faster than the time it takes to arrive, and the both of you wish each other good night after cleaning up.

You’re not exactly sleepy, but you’re mentally drained and you’re afraid at how many times you almost poured your struggle to Minghao. You don’t like crying in front of anyone but Jeonghan, don’t like the feeling of anyone looking at you in pity or even concern. You really don’t.

But there’s something about Xu Minghao that makes you feel okay about being vulnerable; something about him that makes you want to open your heart and serve all its content on a platter for him to see. Or perhaps you’re just more emotional because you’ve officially moved out of your place and it’s your first day in your new home.

You hope that’s really the case.

Because the first scenario scares you a little too much.

You don’t want to feel that way.

So you spend your night talking with Jeonghan until you fall asleep, talking about nothing and everything so you wouldn’t think of Mingyu or how easy it is to be off guard in front of Minghao.

You tell Jeonghan you want to go to the sloth cafe and he offers to come with you, his voice wavering when you mention you want to try painting.

You dream of Mingyu in front of an easel that night, painting a field of yellow flowers with a smile on his face and the stars in his eyes.

“Oh, are you going somewhere?” Minghao asks when he sees you all dressed up on the sofa, though the way you’re slumped against it makes him doubt his question. “Or did you just come back?”

You scrunch your nose at the question, then sit up and hug the cushion against your chest. “I meant to go to the sloth cafe today. But Jeonghan is suddenly called for a work emergency, so…”

The words come out before he thinks it thoroughly, and Minghao almost hits himself in the head once they escape his lips. “I can go with you if you want?”

Unexpectedly, your face lights up as your eyes meet his, making him a little taken aback at the enthusiasm.

You really do want to go there, but the thought of going there by yourself scares you a little but you know that if you don’t go now when you’ve made up your mind, you’ll push it back over and over again until eventually you decide you’d just not go. 

“Will you, really?”

“Sure, if you don’t mind going with me.” Minghao shrugs. It’s too late to back out and he’s glad if he could help you one way or another. It’s been quite some time since he visited that cafe and he doesn’t have anything to do, anyway. At your nod, he asks again. “When do you want to go?”

“I’m free the whole day, if you don’t mind going today…” You trail off, feeling a little awkward if you’re being completely honest. It’s been two weeks since you’ve moved in, and while you’ve passed the awkward phase, you’re still not there yet when it comes to favors.

“Let me change real quick then.” He definitely didn’t expect you to say yes when he offered, but now that you’ve asked him… Might as well, right? 

The ride to the cafe isn’t as awkward as you suppose it would be, the radio filling in the silence between the two of you when you’re not talking. Minghao asks if you have anything in mind you want to draw already, and you say you actually have no idea, that you want to see if there are any easy examples you can follow because you’re not gifted enough to draw anything by yourself.

“What about you?”

“Hmm… Any requests?”

You laugh at this, and then hum to yourself to see if there’s anything you’d like to see. For a second, you wonder if you’re crossing the line by asking him to draw for you in a way, but if it’s Minghao himself who asks, it should be okay, right?

“Flowers?” Your voice falters as you think of the last dream you have of Mingyu. Yellow flowers, wasn’t it?

You hear his smile before you see it, and when you turn to him curiously, Minghao offers you a nod and asks again if you have any flowers you prefer. But you don’t really know your flowers, so you tell him you want to see anything vibrant, that it’s up to him whatever flower exactly.

“Vibrant, huh?” You wonder if you imagined the slight curt in his tone, but Minghao nods once again and says he’ll see what he can do.

“You don’t have to, though!” You say, suddenly conscious that you’re making him draw something for you.

“It’s okay. I didn’t know what to draw, anyway.” He grins to assure you, but you can tell that there’s something going on inside his head that you don’t dare to ask.

“Alright… But don’t feel bad if you want to draw something else, okay?” You manage to say, hoping that you don’t sound like you’re putting a distance between the two of you. Minghao changes the topic from then, and it’s not long until you find yourself arriving at the cafe.

It’s weird, what you’re feeling. You’re both afraid and excited, as art has always been something that you associate with Mingyu. You never do it with anyone else, or even by yourself, for that matter. Mingyu was the only reason you’re even interested in it, and you’re pretty sure you would never even try if it wasn’t for him.

And now you’re here. About to go to a cafe where you can draw at, a cafe you had promised Mingyu you’d go together with…

And now you’re here.

With someone else.

“Let’s go?” Minghao’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, something you’re incredibly thankful for because you’re just about to spiral into a hurricane of emotion otherwise.

Half an hour later, you find yourself sitting side by side with Minghao as the busy sound of the cafe fills the silence between you two. You straighten your back as you exhale a deep breath, the sound of it makes Minghao chuckle from beside you. 

“What flower is that?” You glance at his drawing, intrigued by the amount of details Minghao pours into it despite not having any reference whatsoever. He’s drawing by memory, you assume, as you can’t see his phone anywhere near him, and now that you really look at his drawing, you think you’ve seen the flower before. 

Minghao pauses before he answers you, his gaze fixated on the paper in front of him. “Forsythia.”

You hum as you take out your phone, looking up the flower to see pictures of them. It’s when you quietly mutter to yourself that Minghao turns to you, a small smile on his face as he sees you admire the flowers.

“You know them?”

You shake your head, then close your phone and return to the paper in front of you. You’ve drawn nothing but the night sky, poorly drawn hills, and a few street lamps along the street. It’s nowhere near good drawing, but at least you can tell for sure that those objects are identifiable and that’s enough win for you.

Like going here trying to draw.

Like going here without shedding a tear even though your lips trembled when you step into the cafe.

That’s enough win for now.

“Can I ask something?” his voice brings you out of your thoughts, and when you nod, his voice is hesitant despite your okay. “Why… is it so dark?”

“What is?”

“Your drawing.”

Huh. Is it?

“Is there any reason you’re not drawing the moon or stars?”

You blink at the question, then look again at the night sky you’ve been drawing the past thirty minutes. The constellation mark behind your ear suddenly stings a little; have you come to hate astronomical objects so much that you end up drawing nothing but the sky without even realizing?

“It just… didn’t occur to me.” You offer him a small smile, your colored pencil hovering upon the night sky. “I can’t draw them now though, can I?”

He hums as he skims your drawing, then his eyes glance at the pack of colored pencils next to you.

“Yeah. It’d be hard to draw the moon because you’ve colored most of the night sky.” He nods and smiles your way, one that you return with a tilt of your head. “It’s okay though. It’s still pretty as it is. Some nights we can’t see the stars and the moon anyway. Doesn’t really matter, right?”

…Doesn’t really matter, huh? You bite your lip as you ponder over his words, your mark feels like it’s tingling behind your ear.

“Can I ask something too?” You say after some time, eyes still focused on the flower he’s drawing.

“Sure.”

“I notice there are a lot of flowers in your paintings back home. Is there a reason why you like painting flowers so much?” His movement pauses at your question, and, for a second, you wonder if you’re intruding. But Minghao answers before you can retract your question, his hand moves again to fill in the color in the petal.

“It’s my soulmate mark.” His tone is much too nonchalant for such a topic, but as much as Minghao can tell you’re hurting by the look of your eyes, you can also tell he’s hiding by the tightness in his voice.

It’s very subtle, but from your point of view, it can’t be anymore obvious that Minghao is also struggling, presumably about something along the same line as you. Soulmate isn’t a sensitive topic for most people, but now that you’ve seen him this way, you can tell at once that you both share the same reluctance towards the issue.

At least it’s also clear that he’s coping far better than you are. Whatever’s happened between him and his soulmate, you hope it’s not as bad as what befell you.

“You wouldn’t know which one though,” he jokes to divert the topic. It’s more for your sake than it is for him, you feel like. He probably knows you’re not sure what to comment on that.

“I’m sure they’re pretty either way.” You comment vaguely, suddenly itching to touch the constellation behind your ear. You hesitate before you continue, unsure if it’s okay to bring it up again, but you also feel bad and you let your feelings override yourself for once. “I’m sorry I made you draw flowers.”

Minghao completely stops at that, and even though you’re not sure what you were expecting, you surely didn’t expect amusement clouding his face when you meet his gaze.

“Why are you sorry though?”

“Just felt like I needed to apologize.” You shrug, your voice gets gradually smaller as you continue. “Seems like it’s personal to you.”

“It’s fine. Like you said, I do paint a lot of flowers.” His smile is genuine, and you’re glad that he really does sound amused if anything.

Your conversation shifts from there, the two of you swift through light-hearted topics as you finish your drawings. You watch as the staff turn your drawing into an acrylic key ring, a happy smile on your face as you look at the result in your hand.

It’s definitely much better than you expected, and you think it’s good that you went with Minghao because, had it been Jeonghan, you would’ve cried thinking about Mingyu the whole time. You’re glad you went with your roommate, someone between a stranger and a friend, someone that you need to be careful with but close enough that it’s not uncomfortable.

“Yours is so pretty…” You mutter in fascination as you peek at Minghao’s, happy to take the key ring from him when he asks if you want to look closely.

“You can take it.” He says with the entirety of his heart, the grin on his face painted with pride. It’s one thing to have people sing praises to his work, but it’s another story altogether when he sees someone like you who looks at his creation like it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. When you ask if he’s sure you can have it like it doesn’t make sense for him to just give it away, he chuckles and nods. “You look like you’d appreciate it. That’s good enough for me.”

“Thank you!” You clutch the keyring between your palms, telling him you’d take good care of it. “I’d offer you mine but…”

“I’ll take it.” He offers you his palm, and then chuckles some more when you ask again if he’s sure about his choice. “You doubt me a lot, huh?”

“It’s just… Mine isn’t as pretty though.” You scrunch your nose as you hand him your result. Yes, it’s better than you expected, but still…

“I saw how much effort you put into that.” He begins, his thumb caressing your keyring. “And I did say it looks pretty, no? I wasn’t just saying it to make you feel better.”

Whispering a small thank you, Minghao almost laughs at how shy you look at his compliment. He looks at the keyring again, a picture of street lamps beneath the night sky. Then his mind pictures your focused frown when you were drawing them, and then to the conversation he had with you almost two weeks ago about this very cafe; how you were holding back tears and how you had reacted when he brought up the cafe.

And now here you are, talking animatedly about how the experience has been much more fun than you expected it to be. And even though he did catch you spacing out from time to time, he notices how determined you are from the beginning. Determined to do what, he can only guess.

He thinks he’ll think of you now everytime he looks at the night sky.

He gazes at the keyring yet again, and then at you next to him.

He thinks he has never seen an effort so beautiful.

Mingyu loved seeing you with your hair up; a pony tail, a bun, anything that let him see your whole face and didn’t cover your soulmate mark if only a little. The location of your soulmate mark doesn’t really allow you a lot of hairstyles that won’t cover it, but if you have your hair up, you’d at least be able to see half of the constellation that stops just a little below your ear.

That said, you wear your hair down most of the time after he’s left, having developed a habit of hiding the black constellation scattered there. The most you’d do to your hair is to tie half of it, which doesn't happen a lot.

“I have a question.” Minghao says as he pours your empty glass of wine once again. Minghao was chilling by himself when you returned from the convenience store, and when you saw the wine bottle on the coffee table, you had been quick to ask if you could join his little routine.

“Shoot.” Undeniably, you’ve gotten closer with him the past few months. You hadn’t expected to find a friend when you first moved in, but Minghao clicks with you in ways you haven’t really clicked with others that you can easily say he’s one of your close friends now.

It’s different, what you have with him.

Jeonghan is your voice of reason as much as he is the devil’s advocate; he’d push and push and push but he also knows when to pull you back when necessary. He cares for you like a best friend and an older brother, having his own way to change between the two roles accordingly.

You’re not the closest with Lisa. She’s not the kind of friend you’d look for first when you need someone to talk to, but you only have good memories with her since high school and it’s always laughter filling your cheeks everytime you meet up with her. You trust her when it comes to it, and she’s a token of happy memories you keep in your life.

Mingyu… Mingyu is–was your soulmate. He understood you without you saying anything, he knew when to leave you alone and when to coax you into telling him what’s bothering you. He spoiled you like there’s no tomorrow, listened when your rambling didn’t make any sense, and held you in his arms on nights you didn’t want to talk to anyone. He’s loud with his affection, never hesitated to show you his love even though he knew you’re never insecure when it came to that.

But Minghao… he observes and hypothesizes. He’s calculated and he’s silent with his concern. He doesn’t always ask when he thinks something might be up, simply leaves you be and you’d find a cup of iced chocolate or an ice cream with a note that lets you know they belong to you the next day. He pretends he doesn’t know you’re crying even though you’re sure you look like a mess, he’d just ask if you want to eat something or if he should just order online.

You don’t have a lot of friends, but from the few that you have, Minghao is the most like you.

And now that you think about it, you somehow gravitate towards those much different that you are; people who are loud in the best way possible. Which is why your friendship with Minghao feels different in ways that you can’t really describe. 

“Why do you never tie your hair?” You have expected Minghao to ask this question sooner, if you’re being honest, as you’re sure that he’s noticed this since before. You’ve caught him eyeing your long hair from time to time, mostly when you two are out and it’s hot outside while you stubbornly let your hair down for the sake of covering your ear.

“Does it bother you?” You ask while sipping on your wine. It’s your fourth glass already, and even though you’re not usually a fan of alcohol, there would be days like this when you just feel like letting loose and crave for some.

Minghao shakes his head and changes the song playing in the background, finding something softer than the jazz instrument he played earlier. It’s another lazy Saturday night for the two of you, and between liking to stay at home and your somewhat similar personality, it’s really not surprising how easy it was to be close to Minghao in the span of five months.

How could you not when the two of you almost always spend your days together, even more your weekends? Jeonghan would join you from time to time, or he’d drag you out and there would be days when Minghao also tags along.

So, really, it’s safe to say you’re with Xu Minghao almost 70% of the time except for the time when you’re at work.

“Not really. Just wondering because it looks hot to go around like that all the time.”

You hum as you contemplate your next words. You could’ve just brushed it off like you always do when people ask, but a part of you has finally arrived at a place where it wants to let him know about Mingyu even only a little.

After all, there are days when you share your pain with him. None of you really talk about it, but you’d both vaguely mention about sad romance from time to time; enough for the two of you to be almost sure that, yes, there’s something wrong about the soulmate situations upon you both.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol in your system. Or perhaps it’s the dream you had of Mingyu last night, his fingers tucking your hair behind your ear and smiling at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on.

That’s probably why you feel like drinking today.

While moving in with Minghao proves to be a good step towards moving, it doesn’t mean you’ve stopped crying when Mingyu appears in your dreams, which no longer happens quite often. There are still days when you’d read his old messages and stare at old pictures. When you’d open his Instagram account that’s no longer active and scroll through his aesthetically arranged feed.

It doesn’t hurt as much anymore, but you still get choked up for obvious reasons.

At least he no longer resides in your mind on a daily basis, though the thought also weighs like a boulder upon your heart.

You… want to move on from him, but you also don’t.

The amount of love you hold for Mingyu is more than you think possible, it’s overwhelming and it’s a burden at times. You didn’t think you could love someone like you did Mingyu, soulmate or not.

You don’t mind though. Even though the love is heavy and you don’t think you can ever love anyone–anything as much as you love Mingyu, you don’t mind and you still want to do it.

You still want to do it now even if he’s no longer with you. Even if his scent has completely faded from every single belonging of his that you bring with you to your new place. 

The fact that you’re actually getting used to a life without him hurts.

It hurts almost as much as the day you lost him.

It hurts because you’re close to forgetting how he even sounded if not for the hoard of videos of him in your phone.

Aren’t you supposed to be together forever? To hold each other every night and spend the rest of your life basking in each other’s warmth?

Aren’t you supposed to be soulmates? What the fuck went up there that decided you’re not going to have a happy ending with your soulmate?

You want to be okay without him.

You don't want to be okay without him.

Minghao’s concerned voice brings you out of your trance, and it’s only when you taste something salty in your lips that you realize you’ve been crying. 

For all the time Minghao pretends he’s never noticed you crying, this can’t be one of them. Not when your tears come out of nowhere when you were spacing out for a few seconds upon his question. And when he asks in a hushed whisper whether you want him to hold you, you don’t even answer as you dive straight to his embrace, your tears refusing to stop now that you’re in someone’s arms.

He doesn’t seem to mind though and, for some reason, the way his arms gently circle around you makes you cry even harder. It’s such a contrast with Mingyu’s tight embrace, he always made sure to hug you hard, something to remind you that he’s there and you have him with you.

Minghao's hold is careful but sure, the way he hugs you is almost ticklish, like you’d break if he hugs you just a little too tight. Except for the few times you fell asleep on his shoulder upon movie nights, this is the first time you’ve ever been this physically close with Minghao.

You end up telling a gist of Mingyu that night, tying up your hair to show him your soulmate mark. If Minghao’s surprised at its color, he doesn’t show it, and it’s you who gasp in shock when he tugs the neckline of his shirt to show you his own blackened soulmate mark near his collarbone.

IMinghao starts talking first, as he figures it might be easier for you if you know he’s been through something along the same line. He never really likes talking about his soulmate, doesn’t really have any reason to do so either. But looking at you like this, it’s the urge to comfort you that overrides his usual reluctance.

If his pain can be anything other than pain… if it can even help someone in some way, perhaps it’d be better to share the story he’s been holding to himself.

“She left me for someone else.” You want to wipe the weak smile off his face, want to tell him that he doesn’t have to act like he’s okay because you can’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain Minghao went through. “Said she found someone better and she doesn’t believe in soulmates. That we’re too different and believed the fact that we’re soulmates just proved that fate is nothing but stupid games.”

You know whatever words you offer him wouldn’t be enough.

You know.

You know because nothing anyone says would be enough to comfort you.

So you share him your pain, show him that he’s not alone and you know how it feels to be left behind.

The story you tell him is a very oversimplified version of the whole thing, that your soulmate is no longer with you and it’s still hard even though you’re coping. Though you do tell him that you did move into his house due to the same person.

Minghao’s gaze doesn’t falter as you tell him a very small part of your story, just enough to know you’re both hurting in the same way. That you’ve both lost the people who're supposed to be your destiny regardless of the reasons why. He doesn’t hesitate when he wipes your tears with his thumb, the look in his eyes is anything but pity.

Your lips still tremble despite your tears stopping, making it hard for you to continue talking even if you’re not sure how much you’re going to tell Minghao that night. But in a moment of weakness, your gaze falls to his lips the same time his eyes fall to yours. And when your eyes find each other a second later, you have no idea who makes the first move and how your lips end up upon his.

The kiss you share with him is soft; your lips upon his over and over again, your palms firmly planted on his shoulders as his stays on your waist. You have no idea either how long the kiss lasts for, but the kiss is sad as much as it is comforting, your fingers balling into fists as you grasp his shirt to get yourself together.

You wonder if Minghao can also taste the salty tears falling from your eyes upon his lips.

It’s him who pulls away first, and he doesn’t give you a chance to meet his eyes as he pushes you into the juncture of his neck and kisses the top of your head.

For the first time, Mingyu’s smile is sad when he appears in your dream.

He’s trying to tell you something, but there’s no sound coming out of his lips and your eyes are too blurry to make sense of his words. You’ve missed him so much, and you hate that he looks concerned when it’s been so long since you’ve dreamed of him.

You can still feel the fluttering warmth of Mingyu’s lips on your forehead when you wake up, only to find Minghao holding you to his chest as you both lay on the couch, his eyes closed and his protective arms firm around your figure.

You're not avoiding Minghao.

You've honestly just been plagued by the last dream you had of Mingyu that you’ve been a little dysfunctional for the past week. You haven’t got the chance to tell Jeonghan about the dream nor what went down that night, and you plan on telling him tonight in the comfort of your bedroom just in case you’d be crying again.

You’ve texted Minghao Jeonghan might be sleeping over that night, though he might also go home if he suddenly decides otherwise. You stare at your phone as you bite your lip, hating how you can even tell how awkward you two are even over texts.

[14:22] Hao, is it ok if Jeonghan stays the night? He might also suddenly decide to go home tho!!! I promise we’ll stay quiet

[18:45] Minghao 🍀: Sorry, I thought I replied already. 

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: And sure. You know I don’t mind Jeonghan.

[18:46] Minghao 🍀: Thanks for the heads up.

Minghao doesn’t usually answer late, and it’s worrying you a little that it takes him almost four long hours to answer you. Isn’t he working from home today?

You really need to get back to your senses and fix whatever weird situation between you and your roommate. Though, truthfully, you know it’s just you making it weird because Minghao has been acting like usual. The smile he gave you when you both woke up in each other’s arms still haunts you among other things.

And while it’s true you’re not avoiding him, it’s also true you don’t know how to face him after that day.

“When’s Jeonghan picking you up?” Lisa snaps you out of your trance, sipping the last of her coffee. It’s been quite some time since you met up with her, and her text has come right when you need a happy distraction so you’re more than happy to accept the invitation and meet her after work, which is why your hang out with Jeonghan has been pushed accordingly.

It’s the weekend tomorrow, anyway.

“In a bit.” As usual, spending time with Lisa means having a good time. Usually, it’s followed by a good night sleep on your part, but as much as you love spending time with her, the thought of Mingyu, Minghao, and wanting to talk to Jeonghan about them clouds your mind to the point where you’re sure you won’t be having a good night sleep tonight. “He’s stuck in traffic.”

It’s about fifteen minutes later that Jeonghan comes in, and he sits down next to you to talk with Lisa for a bit before you part ways with her. You listen to him talk about work as he drives, offering your thoughts on the matters that you think would help.

When he pulls into Minghao's driveways you stop him from getting off the car, ripping the bandaid with one go because you don’t know how to do it otherwise.

“Me and Minghao kissed last week.”

Jeonghan looks at you wide-eyed, mouth opening and closing as he tries to find the right thing to say.

“Just telling you now because I… well, there’s a chance Minghao might catch it if I tell you later.” 

He stares at you in what you’d describe as worry, but before you can ask him to explain, he grabs your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “But you’re okay?”

“Somewhat.” You squeeze his hand back. “I’ll tell you everything after dinner.”

Surprisingly, Junhui’s voice greets you the moment you open the door. He’s speaking Chinese, your mind registers, and if his tone indicates anything, he’s upset and he’s nagging. You don’t see Minghao anywhere though, and you find Junhui by himself in the kitchen, hanging up on whoever’s on the other line before he slips his phone back into his pocket.

“Jun?”

“Oh. Hi. Want some soup?” He says like it’s normal that he’s here cooking without the owner of the house.

“What are you doing?”

“Minghao’s down with a high fever.” He shakes his head as he stirs the soup in front of him. “He’s sleeping now.”

Minghao’s sick? Is that why you didn’t see him at all this morning? Why didn’t he tell you, though? You could’ve brought him something had you known.

“Can I… talk to you for a bit?” Junhui asks, his eyes flickering to Jeonghan behind you. The older guy seems to get the message, quickly leaving the kitchen and into the living room before you even answer. “Something happened between you and Hao, huh?”

For all it’s worth, you know Junhui has always been a protective friend. You’ve never been particularly close with him, but he’s close with Mingyu and you know what kinda person Junhui is courtesy of Mingyu’s words. He’s playful and he’s caring. Mingyu used to say Junhui isn’t the kind of person he would want to be enemies with, that he’s glad he’s friends with the older guy.

So to have him look at you with a piercing gaze, it’s hard for you not to deflate under his eyes.

“You don’t need to tell me anything. He didn’t either.” He starts, and then hesitates before he continues. “I… How are you?”

Your eyes prickle with tears at his question, because you know he’s not just asking about you in general. It’s there even if he doesn’t say it outright: how are you coping without Mingyu? 

You try your best to blink the tears back, but fail when Junhui reaches out and pats your head. Your palm blocks the sob out of your mouth, and it’s when Junhui says his next words that your sobs turn into pathetic whimpers.

“Don’t think about it too much, okay? I know it’s hard without him. But if there’s anyone who can take care of you like he did… I’m sure he would’ve wanted you to take that chance.”

It’s hard to listen to him and not cry. Not when you know how close Junhui was with Mingyu. They’re not the bestest of friends, but were still close enough to spend nights drinking with each other to talk about life and the problems that came within.

Between all of Mingyu’s friends, you knew Junhui was one of the people he respected most.

“Mingyu used to say you always think about him before anything.” His voice trembles as he says it, and that’s when you realize you’ve only spoken about Mingyu once with him after the whole thing. As much as you’re hurting, you know they are too, to certain points. “But I think… I think it’s okay not to think of him first now. You don’t need to forget him. But try to think of yourself too, alright?”

You nod, not being able to say anything to that. While you haven’t actually dwelled on what you’re feeling for Minghao, it’s true that you’ve always stopped yourself from even thinking about it because of Mingyu. He’d come into your mind everytime Minghao does, and while it helps a little to know that at least you’ve both lost your soulmates, it’s still hard for you to think that you’d be replacing Mingyu somehow.

You don’t want to replace Mingyu.

You don’t want Minghao to be a rebound.

But is he, really?

“I’m not saying you have to decide now whether you want to give Minghao a try or not. But… you deserve another chance at happiness, okay? And whether it's with Minghao or not, I hope you'll take it when the chance presents itself to you.” He whispers softly.  

It’d be a lie if you say you’ve never tried to think about Minghao in that light. Because you have, you have since that day you went to the cafe and drew with him. But Mingyu clouds your mind, and a part of you always feels like you’re betraying him and his memories if you even think about being with someone else.

“I promise Mingyu wouldn’t want you to hold yourself back from a chance of another happiness.” You cry harder at this, palm still covering your mouth to stop your sob from echoing throughout the house. “I know it’s still hard to accept that Mingyu is no longer here. I know, trust me, I do. I lost my little brother too that day, and if it’s hard for me as a friend, I can only imagine how hard it is for you who lost your soulmate. But you can’t trap yourself in his memories forever, right?”

It’s then that you cry, cry, and cry.

It’s one thing to think to yourself that you’ve lost him, that he’s not with you anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it. But it’s another to hear it from someone else’s mouth right in front of your face.

It reminds you of that night a year and a half ago in the hospital, the words ringing in your head over and over again until it’s the only thing that echoes in your mind.

Mingyu is gone.

He’s gone and he’s not coming back to you.

He can’t come back to you.

No matter how much you’ve cried into your pillow and cursed at the gods to bring him back to you, it’s nothing but a futile attempt because he’s not here.

He’s no longer in this world and your heart still aches everytime you think about the fact that he’s dead and you can’t see him anymore.

What’s the use of having a soulmate if he’s going to leave you first out of nowhere?

What’s the use of having a soulmate when you couldn’t even do anything to protect him from the accident that took his life?

What the fuck is the use of having a soulmate if you’re not going to end up together with him for the rest of your life?

It’s then that Jeonghan rushes to the kitchen, immediately kneeling beside you on the floor because you don’t have any energy to even stand on your feet at this point. You don't even realize you're wailing, your palm doing nothing to help stopping your broken cry.

Jeonghan can't hear anything but your sobs since earlier, but he knows your talk with Junhui is long overdue, which is why he’s been holding himself back from barging in even though he’s been worried. But how can he stay still if he's heard you let out a loud cry followed by a thud?

Junhui follows and kneels next to you, patting your head once again as he wipes your tears to no avail.

“Think about it… okay?”

You’re spacing out as you lean on Jeonghan’s shoulder when Junhui knocks on your door. You’ve spent the last hour telling your best friend everything, from the way you’ve been suppressing your thoughts about Minghao to the talk with Junhui earlier. In a true Jeonghan style, he has offered you a piece of his mind followed by saying he agrees with Junhui though he doesn't fail to remind you to take your time thinking about it.

“Do you mind taking care of Minghao or do you want me to stay over?” It’s almost ten in the evening, you look at the clock on your wall, and you suppose Junhui is trying to figure out if he should go home now or not. “He gets a little needy when he’s sick but doesn’t say anything.”

You look at Jeonghan for some reason, and when he offers you nothing but raised eyebrows, you turn to Junhui and say you’d take care of Minghao for him.

“You sure?” He asks one more time. “I can just stay over if you don’t want to.”

Junhui chooses those words for a reason. He didn’t ask if you can do it, he makes sure to let you know that it’s okay if you don’t want to.

But you do. As much as you’re conflicted, you can’t deny the worry bubbling in your chest the moment you heard Minghao’s down with fever to the point where it's hard for him to even get out of bed.

“I’ll take care of him.” You say with a determined nod, your arm squeezing Jeonghan’s for support.

“Then I’ll trust you with him.” You’re probably looking too much into it. You have no idea if Minghao has confided Junhui in what’s transpired between the two of you, but his words seem to mean more to you regardless of his real intention. 

“I’ll take you home then.” Jeonghan surprises you both, patting your cheek before he gently lets go of you. “I don’t think it’s me you need to be with tonight.”

It’s silent once the two went home, and you’re left on your own in the living room. You try to think about your talk with the two men, but your head pounds a little from all the crying. Your eyes are probably puffy too, though at least they’re not red and you probably just need to drink some water to help your headache.

You close your eyes and exhale as you lean your head back against the sofa head. Has it really been one and a half year since you lost Mingyu?

It's funny, grieving. You never really get over it, and as much as you claim you're okay and you've accepted that he's no longer with you, you know you'd never entirely accept that deep down in your heart.

Some days Mingyu doesn't cross your mind at all. Some days you can suddenly cry in between conversations because his name rings across your head for no apparent reason.

Time seems to be too fast and too slow when it comes to memories of Mingyu. You never really thought about finding a new romance before, if only because you live in a world where soulmates exist and Mingyu took your heart with him the moment he left this world.

It must be some sort of twisted fate too for you to find Minghao, another shattered soul whose soulmate left him by choice. As much as it hurt you to lose Mingyu the way you did, you couldn’t imagine how Minghao picked up the pieces of his broken heart because the person who’s supposed to be his forever left him for selfish reasons.

You can’t imagine how his heart can still be as pure as it is with the pain it went through.

While you don’t know yet what exactly went down, what you know for sure is how beautiful of a person Minghao is. He probably knows you’re struggling since the beginning. He’s been considerate in more ways than you could’ve imagined, in his own soft, subtle way to the point where you didn’t realize he’s taking care of you.

It took you quite some time to realize, but it makes sense because you can recognize the pain that flashes through his eyes too from time to time. As two owners of broken fate, it’s not surprising that you recognize one another.

The sound of the door creaking brings you back from your head, and you see Minghao looking a little lost when the door opens, probably wondering why the house is dark and quiet.

“Why are you out of bed?” You scold him softly as you make your way to him. You usher him back to bed, but Minghao insists his body hurts from laying down too much and he needs to stretch a little. 

So you make him sit on the sofa instead, which he whines at because it’s not that different, but his heart softens at your concerned whine so he decides entertaining you shouldn’t be too bad even if he feels like walking around the house.

“Drink some water.” You hand him his usual mug, then plops beside him as your palm automatically reaches for his forehead, cheek, and then neck. Minghao doesn’t say anything as he stares at you, though he shivers at your touch because your palm is cold when it meets his skin. “Your fever has gone down, I think."

“Were you worried?” his voice asks softly. Almost hopeful, even. None of you bothers to turn on the lights, though the light peeking from the kitchen helps just enough for you two to see each other albeit dimly.

You think Minghao might be a little delirious, but Junhui did say Minghao gets needy when he’s sick, so you do the least you can do and decide to throw away all of your thoughts for the night. What matters right now is that he’s sick and you want to take care of him.

“I was. Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” It’s funny the way you’re both talking like it’s a secret. Your soft voices barely heard throughout the house even though it’s loud enough just for the two of you.

Minghao shrugs, not offering you any explanation. But you see it in his eyes, in the way he hesitates and shakes his head. He probably didn’t think it was okay to tell you. 

“Tell me next time, okay? Though it would be better if you don’t get sick again.”

He hums and it’s silent after that. Minghao turns to the window, looking at the dark night outside. “Did Junhui go home?”

“Yeah. I told him I’d take care of you.”

“Did you?” His voice gets even softer when he says this, both hopeful and afraid. But before you can say anything, he cuts you off and asks again. “And Jeonghan?”

“Took Junhui home.” You pause before you continue. Is it a good time to bring it up now? Would it be better to do it when you’re both awake and well? Listen to your heart, okay? It’s okay to put your guard down sometimes. Jeonghan’s words from earlier ring in your head. “Said that it’s not him I need to be with tonight.”

If he’s surprised, Minghao doesn’t show it. But his stare seems to pierce through the dark and you can’t find it in you to look away. Mingyu appears once again in your mind, but you try your best to suppress the thought before you find yourself deep into it.

“Is there anyone you need to be with tonight?”

“Mmh. Maybe.” You try to be nonchalant, very conscious of the way your heart is beating loudly against your chest. You look out the window before you start talking again, a pensive look on your face as you contemplate your words. “It’s weirdly dark tonight, huh?”

Minghao follows your sight and nods, waiting for you to say more. You gather your hair and move them to your right shoulder, and from where he’s at, he can see the black stars peeking behind your left ear.

“It’s Cassiopeia, my mark.” You start, your eyes still locked on the night sky. “I tried looking them up once, but I suppose I’m not smart enough to actually understand the story. Mingyu did though, and he’d pop up a quiz from time to time to see if there’s anything I retain from all the time he babbled about our identical marks.”

He doesn’t know where you’re going with this, but his hand finds yours and he’s glad you don’t pull away, simply holds his hand tighter as if you’re looking for something to keep you going. His heart cracks at your weak smile, but he knows you have more to say and he’s more than willing to listen.

“I ended up liking them though; the celestial objects. The moon, the stars, planets, everything that’s up there in the sky. I found fascination in them and I’d find myself buying stuff with their patterns.”

Minghao can’t see you clearly because of the dark, but he imagines your eyes are watering up by the slight tremble of your voice.

“And then it stopped when Mingyu died. I don’t hate them, but it hurts to see them and… if you remember my drawing those months ago, I suppose that’s why my drawing was so dark even if I did it unconsciously.”

You pause to take a breath, your hand tightens around Minghao’s. “I think he took all the stars with him the night he left. That selfish jerk.”

His heart clenches painfully at your weak chuckle, at the way your hand reaches up to wipe your own tears, and at the way you take a deep breath in determination.

“But… But it’s okay even if we can’t see the stars, right?”

Minghao gapes at his own words from that day you drew together, words that he said without much thought but seems to hit you in ways that he would never imagine. He tightens his grip on you, and then pulls you to his shoulder before taking his turn to speak.

“You probably don’t recognize it. But forsythia is my soulmate mark.” He says as he caresses your knuckle, his mind taking him back to the exact day you referred to just seconds ago. “I knew it took a lot for you to be there. And even though I didn’t know exactly why, I could tell it was hard. But you pulled through and I thought I should do the same. So when you asked me to draw a flower, I knew I had to draw the most beautiful forsythia I could ever draw in my life.”

“I used to hate them, you know?” You can hear him smile even though you’re buried in his shoulder, his arm that has made its way around you pushes you more into himself. “But you saw that drawing like it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. I didn’t think much of it at first, but I saw you carrying around that keyring everyday and it’s… something. I’ve heard a lot of people compliment my works, but I’ve never seen someone appreciate it as much as you do. It wasn’t intentional, but I think you helped me get through it without even meaning to.”

You pull away to look him in the eyes, and for someone who claims you don’t find beauty in stars anymore, you almost want to dive into Minghao’s eyes that seem to twinkle with all the stars Mingyu took with him.

“Do you know what forsythia symbolizes?” You know he’s not expecting you to actually know, so you shake your head and urge him to continue. “Anticipation, apparently. Because they bloom in spring and signal the beginning of one. I’d like to interpret it as the flower of a new beginning.”

You almost cry again at what it implies; at what it can imply not only for him but for the two of you. Is it too early to jump into that? Is it too fast? Weren’t you just crying about Mingyu hours ago?

“We don’t have to figure it out now.” His voice rings through the night, his fingers caress your arm to shield you from whatever’s in the dark of night. “The morning will come eventually even when the night is long, right?”

“Yeah.” You succumb into his embrace as you smile through your tears. But how can you not when Minghao says those words like Mingyu did many nights ago?

“Don’t think about it too much.” He kissed your cheek and hugged you close to his chest, to shut you up more than anything, really. “It’s not like the morning won’t come even if the night is a little too long. Focus on what you have in front of you, instead okay?”

“But what if–”

“No.” He cut you off, his palm covering your mouth as he laughed at your glare. “No what if. Let’s enjoy the night while we’re at it.”

“You sound stupid.” You rolled your eyes in mock annoyance despite the way your heart swelled in affection.

“You love me anyway.” He grinned cheekily, which you laughed at out of embarrassment because if there’s one thing you could never do, it’s to deny your love for him even jokingly.

“Hao?” 

“Hm?”

“You’ll hold me through the night, right?”

He smiles like it’s not even a question, his fingers intertwining with yours as if to make a point.

“Yeah.”

“Even if it’s a long one?”

He clasps your hand tighter, his thumb caressing your knuckle.

“Yeah.”

©wonwoonlight – all rights reserved.

A/N 2: hi!! it's been quite some time since i write anything along this genre. i've always wanted to write soulmate!au and while this isn't exactly heartfluttering like soulmate!au usually is, i hope you enjoyed it one way or another. this fic got longer than i originally planned, but i hope you guys enjoyed it and please do send me your thoughts through anything you're comfortable with. i know it sounds repetitive at this point, but it's truly your feedbacks that keep me goin<3

A/N 3: did any of u guessed gyu di*d btw

permanent taglist: @kyeomjjigae @stantrash171819 @sebongmochi @luveveryonewoo @thinkinboutwonu @kpopjackie @ursweetener @lavenderautumnx @itsveronicaxxx @shuahoshiscoups @sunshinein17 @leechanniee @twogyuu @hoe4wonwoo @h3h3tm0n @noraehey @seokshook @rubyhoons @02psh @just-here-to-read-01 @listxn @janandbeyond @pearlygraysky @baekhyunstruly

also tagging: @joonsytip

#caratwritersclub #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #minghao angst #minghao fluff #mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #mingyu scenarios #seventeen au #seventeen fic #seventeen imagine #mingyu imagines #the8 angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scenario #minghao imagine #mingyu oneshot #mingyu x reader

[horanghaejamjam]

Candlelight Dances - {XMH}

↪   Summary: It was a relationship that was destined to fail. He couldn’t betray his family and you were set to marry his brother. Despite this, fate had odd ways of working and you found yourself willing to do anything to be with Minghao, even if only for a night.

↪ Pairings: Vampire Prince Minghao x Reader

↪   Rating: M 18+

↪   Genre: Vampire Au / Forbidden Lovers / Smut / Fluff / Slight Angst

↪   Word Count: 18.1k

↪ Warnings/Contents: While the reader uses gender neutral terms, it is implied that they wear dresses and appear feminine. Vampire themes including biting, and blood drinking, Forbidden relationship, Mentions of arranged/forced marriage. Smut (minors dni), Unprotected sex, Switch!Hao and Switch!Reader (Mainly dom Hao), Semi public sex, Teasing with a paintbrush, Slight Primal/Prey aspects, Pet Names (Dove, Angel, Darling), Use of clothing as restraint, Nipple play, Oral (male receiving)

↪ Side Notes: If you saw this story before it is a repost! Tumblr ran into an issue with the other one and half of it basically disappeared so I had to repost it. Sorry for the spam y'all istg tumblr hates me.

This is a spinoff of my story Vampire Kisses with slight changes. While this can be read as a standalone there are some references to the other story. Also huge shoutout to the wonderful @xiubaek-13 for once again agreeing to beta read for me. I appreciate your input so much my dear.

This is also officially the longest story I've ever written. Words cannot describe my love for Minghao

↪ Click here to see my other Seventeen stories

↪ Click here for other kpop masterlists

↪ Click here to join my fic taglist

When you were younger, you never believed in the thought of love at first sight. You heard stories from friends and family, but you never believed that it could truly happen. Afterall, love was a very strong emotion, and you felt there was no way anyone could feel that without truly knowing who someone was. That value stuck with you into adulthood, and even more so when you found out about your arranged marriage. You were set to be wed to the first heir of a very influential vampire politician, a requirement by law to keep things balanced between humans and vampires. You had agreed, knowing your family would benefit from the union greatly, but it didn’t mean you were actually happy about it. You were doing this strictly for business, agreeing to marry a man you had never even seen before. How were you supposed to feel anything towards someone you knew nothing about? Little did you know that you would start questioning yourself the moment you moved into the Wen family manor. Before you knew it, you were falling head over heels, not for your fiancé, but for his younger brother. 

The moment you first met Minghao was vividly engraved in your mind, replaying like a movie scene on rewind. You had just begun to settle in and get used to the family when he and his brother, Junhui, had returned from a business matter. Minghao was, without a doubt, the most gorgeous being you had ever laid eyes on. From his long black hair that was tied back to show his sharp yet dark eyes, to his tall and slender figure dressed elegantly in a floor length coat. Even with the majority of his body hidden, you could already tell the rest of him was just as delicate and precise as his facial features. It gave him a mysterious aura which, combined with the confidence that radiated off his being, would normally intimidate you. In this case, however, it made him all the more alluring and you swore you felt your heart stop when he smiled kindly in your direction. You knew you were supposed to pay attention to Jun at that moment, but you couldn’t help your eyes from wandering back over to Minghao. 

From that moment forward, you found yourself seeking out the younger vampire's company whenever you could. At first it was just brief conversations in the hallway, then it was going for walks around the manor, until finally you found yourself sneaking out before the sun even went down to see him in his study. You learned a lot about him in that short amount of time, and by now you knew his schedule like the back of your hand. As the second son of the Wen family, he didn’t have as many obligations as his brother did. Most of his endeavors required assisting his family in diplomatic matters with a few side tasks here and there. When those were done, he preferred to spend his time working alone in his private study. He was usually up long before the rest of his family, already staining his clothes with paint before the sun even began to set. When you questioned him about it he simply said the daylight wasn’t a concern for him and he preferred the silence that daylight offered. He was always a man of few words so he didn’t really explain much more than that despite your curiosity. You decided not to question his strange schedule too much since it allowed you to spend more time with him without his family stealing your attention. 

You learned very quickly that Minghao had quite the eye for art and fashion, and he was extremely talented with a paintbrush. There were many nights where you found yourself curled up on the armchair he kept in the corner, watching quietly while he worked on his latest masterpiece. Occasionally he would glance back at you or ask your opinion of his work, but most of the time the two of you remained in comfortable silence until he decided to call it a night. Other nights you two would sit together and share a drink, simply talking about whatever came to mind at that moment. Minghao definitely enjoyed your presence, and you found yourself seeking his the longer you stayed with him. 

If anyone asked, you would lie and say that Minghao was helping you with your anxiety about the upcoming wedding. Not exactly a lie, but not quite the truth either. While his presence did relieve your worries, you also found that your heart beat for him in a way it never would for Jun. You wanted to be close to him, to talk with him, hear his voice, touch him, and be with him any chance you could. You couldn’t ignore the way his touch lingered on your skin, or the way his voice soothed you like a soft lullaby you would never tire of hearing. The way you could stare at him for hours, saying nothing but feeling that his presence said enough. There was still so much to learn about him, and yet you felt like you had known him for years. Your own personal mystery that you could unravel at your own pace if only you had the freedom to do so. Every time you were together, it was your own little paradise, and one you dreaded leaving every time the sun threatened to peek through his curtains. It was wrong, and you knew it, but sooner or later you would need to face the obvious truth: you were madly in love with Minghao. 

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

“I had a feeling that I would find you here,” your head shot up from its spot between your knees to see the man that was currently occupying your thoughts. Minghao stood a few feet away from you, his familiar black coat flowing slightly in the breeze. He was standing under one of the many trees that lined the manors garden, the leaves shielding him from the few sun rays that started to peek over the horizon. You had been sitting tucked away behind the fountain, back pressed against the cool marble as you waited for the sun to rise, assuming that no one would follow you out. It seems you underestimated the youngest vampire though, since he was now staring down at you from his spot leaning against the tree, expression blank and his arms crossed over his chest. 

“What are you doing out here?” you asked as you scrambled to sit up, “the sun…”

“The sun is about to rise I know,” Minghao cut you off, “don’t worry I don’t plan on being out here long.” He picked himself up and walked over to where you were sitting, running a gloved hand through the water rushing out of the fountain before taking a seat beside you. “You startled everyone by running out earlier you know, I was going to wait for you to come back but after a while I got worried.”

“I’m sorry for running out like that, I didn't mean to scare you,” you muttered, “I guess I just got overwhelmed with all the sudden wedding planning.” The planning you were referring to being dress fitting and decorating that had been forced onto you when Jun got too busy. Minghao had volunteered to help you out given how much you two had bonded over design. It had seemed like a good idea at first, but you quickly became frustrated with the constant back and forth. That, combined with your mixed feelings for Minghao and the fact that he was helping prepare you to marry his brother created too much tension and before you knew it, you were rushing out the door and finding refuge in the garden. 

“That’s probably my fault,” Minghao sighed, resting a hand on your shoulder, “I was the one who got a bit too invested.” The leather of his glove felt much too thick against you, almost like a cruel reminder of the distance between you. You knew it was your own fault for falling in love with him when you were engaged to his brother, but if anything that made it harder on you. You were falling victim to your own feelings and there was nothing you can do about it.

“It’s not your fault,” you groaned, “it’s mine.” Minghao didn’t respond but the tightening grip on your shoulder let you know that he was listening. “This whole wedding has been really hard for me and I guess my emotions just got the best of me and I got overwhelmed,” you explained. Minghao hummed softly before pulling his hand away and sitting a bit straighter, the light splash from the fountain becoming a bit much for him to handle as you watched him wipe the back of his neck. You felt the soft mist as well, but if anything it was a welcome sensation that helped to calm your nerves. 

“Still I’m sure my pestering didn’t help so for that I apologize. I know this can’t be easy on you and it’s a lot to get used to, I just wanted to try and make it a bit easier.” You quickly shook your head at his apology. 

“Hao stop, nothing anyone does will make this easy on me.” You flinched as your words came out harsher than you intended, but if Minghao noticed he didn’t comment on it. 

“Why is that do you think?” he asked, causing you to sigh. You couldn’t tell if he genuinely had no idea how you felt or if he did and just didn’t want to admit it. 

“It’s complicated,” you muttered, “even if I wanted to tell you I probably couldn’t.” This time your words seemed to affect Minghao as you watched him frown slightly. He turned his head away and opened his mouth as if to say something but you cut him off. 

“It’s getting pretty bright out you know, aren’t you worried about the sun?” You looked up at the sky to see it was much lighter than before. Minghao mirrored your actions with a hand shielding his eyes, only to shrug slightly. 

“It’s not too bright out yet, I’ll be fine. I’m not as sensitive to the sun as my brother, remember?” he reminded. 

“I thought you just meant you preferred the brightness,” you confessed, “you never really explained that.” 

“What fun is it if I tell you everything right away?” Minghao teased, only to stiffen up a bit when you frowned at him, “But if you really want to know I am a halfblood vampire. Unlike my brother who was born a vampire, I was born a human and turned into a vampire when I got older. My body is still semi human because of this so I am not as sensitive to things like the sun. It will still hurt but nothing I can’t manage.” You were a bit caught off guard by his sudden honesty, but figured it was better to take advantage of it rather than question him. 

“I didn’t realize halfbloods were a thing, I thought you all were the same,” you confessed, “so does that technically make you, you know?”

“Adopted?” Minghao asked with a slight giggle, “You don’t have to be shy, I won't bite, but yes I am. My birth parents were humans who worked at the manor, and my current family took me in after they passed away.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you sympathized. 

“Don’t be. That was many years ago and I barely remember them, these guys have always felt more like my family and I would do anything for them.”

“I guess in that way we are the same,” you mused, “I mean I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my family.” Minghao sighed beside you, running a hand through his hair. 

“I know this situation isn’t the most ideal for you, but I encourage you to at least open up a bit. You are already part of the family to us, you just need to see that.” Minghao’s words echoed through your mind almost teasingly, a painful reminder of the situation you dragged yourself into. Family, that is all Minghao would ever see you as, his family. The woman who would soon marry his brother and be his sister, when you couldn’t help but wish he was the one you were marrying. You wanted nothing more than to confess that to him, have it where the wedding dress he was designing was for him and not for Jun, but you knew that couldn’t happen. You had made an agreement and you knew the political importance of your wedding. Jun was the heir of the Wen family and was required to marry a born human to keep a power balance between humans and vampires. You probably weren’t the first choice, but you were a young woman with no current political ties so to the Wens you were the perfect candidate. Minghao may still have the status of being related to the Wen family, but in terms of power he was still the bottom of the totem pole. It was something he seemed to enjoy since he had more freedom, but you couldn't help but wonder what would be different if you were allowed to choose which brother you would marry. 

“Can I ask you something?” hearing Minghao hum in reply you moved to face him properly, “You’re the second in command when Jun takes over right? So does that mean you’ll be in an arranged marriage as well?” His eyes widened slightly as your question caught him off guard, but that expression quickly changed into a smirk. 

“Why would you want to know something like that?” he teased, giggling slightly as you stuttered to try to come up with an explanation, “I’m just teasing Y/N relax. The marriage rule only applies to the head of the family. Honestly the rule doesn’t make much sense to me personally but it’s just how things run around here.”

“So it doesn’t apply to you then?” you clarify.

“No it doesn’t, I have no plans of taking over the family so I can marry whoever I want.” He locks eyes with you when he says that and you could have sworn you felt his demeanor change before he was clearing his throat and standing up. “I’d love to stay and talk more but I would prefer not to stay in the heat,” he explained. Most of his body was covered in his usual black attire, but you could see his cheeks and neck turning more red than normal. You quickly realized that the sun had fully emerged while you were talking and was probably taking its toll on the young vampire. 

“Sorry I shouldn’t have kept you outside so long,” you quickly apologized. 

“Don’t be, it was my decision to come after you,” Minghao assured, reaching out to pat your head softly, “I just don’t like the heat, and besides I do have a few things to finish before bed so I should really get back to work. I will see you later tonight Y/N,” and with that he was walking back to the manor, leaving you standing alone in the garden. You half debated running after him but decided against it, sitting back against the fountain and taking advantage of the daylight to be alone with your thoughts. 

You stayed out in the garden for what you assumed was a few more hours before eventually retiring back to your room. Closing and locking the door behind you, you quickly washed yourself off and got changed into more comfortable clothes before crawling into bed. You were actively trying to adjust to the nocturnal life living with vampires, and to do so you were taking more naps during the day. At first the sunlight had made it impossible to fall asleep, but eventually you got used to it with the help of blackout curtains that you often kept closed. With the comfortable darkness surrounding you, it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, the conversation with Minghao still running through your mind. 

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

You woke up a few hours later to a soft knocking at your door. Groaning softly, you sat up and rubbed at your eyes before carefully slipping out of bed and walking over to the door. To say you were shocked to see Minghao standing at the door was an understatement. His coat had been discarded, exposing a white button up that he had partly undone and the sleeves rolled up to expose his arms. His hair was tied back as usual and his hands were covered in various colors of paint, letting you know that he’d probably been working this whole time. You couldn’t deny how attractive he looked like this, managing to look elegant even when he was supposed to be a mess. Meanwhile you literally had just rolled out of bed and probably looked like that, making you want to shy away from the young vampire's gaze. 

“Sorry did I wake you?” he asked, taking in your appearance. 

“Not at all,” you lied with a soft yawn, “I’m honestly surprised that you’re not asleep at this time though.”

“I got carried away with my work,” he admitted with a shy smile. You mirrored said smile as you saw him rub at the back of his neck, some of the still drying paint on his skin rubbing off onto his collar. This was a side of Minghao you didn’t get to see very often and it was honestly adorable. 

“I can see that,” you teased, making him giggle, “and I’m guessing that you’re not here to take a break?”

“You know me too well, I just wanted to show you something real quick if you are not too busy?” Minghao offered. Truth be told you were still exhausted from being suddenly woken up, but you weren’t about to turn him down, not when your time together had been cut short recently. 

“Not at all, just give me a second to get changed,” you said, already starting to close the door to your room when he stops you. 

“Don’t worry we won’t take too long so you can go back to sleep right after,” he assured, taking another moment to glance over you, “besides, the outfit really suits you.” You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but you still felt your cheeks heat up at the comment. Minghao noticed and laughed again, making you playfully slap at him. 

“Stop teasing me!” you whined. 

“I’m not, I swear!” he mused with another laugh. 

“Like hell you’re not!” you exclaimed with another hit at him. Minghao stepped back this time and grabbed your wrist before you could touch him. 

“Alright alright I’m sorry, but seriously are you coming with me or no?” He was still holding onto your wrist, gently tugging you away from the door and out into the hall before you even agreed. You gave in almost immediately, letting him tug you out fully before closing the door behind you. 

“Yes I’m coming, lead the way.” You agreed. Minghao hummed softly and dragged you down the hall and into the library before finally letting go of your wrist. You briefly mourned the loss of his touch but continued to follow him through the many bookshelves until you made it to a familiar door hidden in the corner of the room. The wooden frame was darker than the others and carved with an intricate design of leaves and vines meeting a blooming flower at the very top. The design was carved by Minghao himself, as was his name that was carved and painted perfectly in the middle of the door. Behind the door was Minghaos personal study/studio and the one place in the house he spent a majority of his time in. 

The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior, with the same high walls and pristine wooden floors as the rest of the library, save for the fur rug that lay in the middle of the floor. The room was often dark as Minghao preferred working in natural light provided by the glass doors that led out to a mini covered area of the garden. During the night the doors were often open to let the breeze and moonlight in, but right now they were closed and covered by dark red curtains to keep the light out. The only other light was provided by a mini lamp that rested on his desk in the middle of the room. The only other furniture aside from his desk and chair was the leather armchair that was tucked into the corner right behind it. Normally that chair was covered in various art supplies or clothing articles he was working on, but since you started spending more time with him that space was now left open for you. His art supplies had a new home in an organized pile by the double doors or on his desk, save for the canvas he had currently displayed in the middle of the room. You walked into the room before Minghao and made your way over to the canvas, which is what you assumed Minghao wanted to show you. 

The painting was clearly in the early stages, mostly just a blend of color and shapes at the moment. However, you could clearly make out the outline of what you assumed would be a couple. The male figure was just a pencil outline at the moment but the female was more defined. You could make out the black paint strokes as part of a dress and even if it wasn’t anywhere near completion yet you could easily tell the detail going into it. 

“I know it isn’t much right now,” Minghao’s voice snapped your attention away from the painting. He had walked over to his desk, leaning against the wood as he looked over your shoulder at his work. “This isn’t my normal style but I’ve been really inspired recently and figured I would try my hand at something new,” he explained. 

“It looks great so far, especially for a new style,” you complimented, “though I’m curious what inspired you to make something like this?” Minghao chuckled softly and you looked over just in time to see him shake his head. 

“That’s a secret for me to know and you to find out later, I’ll tell you when I’m finished but right now I just wanted your input on it.” He explained. You wanted to groan at him still being secretive but you knew there was no point in arguing with him. 

“You really are a mystery, you know that?” you mused, making him laugh again. 

“You wouldn’t be the only one to say that,” he commented. 

“Seriously though, do you ever get tired of being so secretive?" you asked. 

“Not really, it’s just who I am,” he replied, “I’m so used to keeping things to myself, when you see and experience the things I have, it becomes hard to trust other people. You are kind of the odd one out of that equation, that’s why I wanted to show you this first.” You nodded, still not getting the idea of why he wanted to show you this, but realizing it must be important to him.

“You don’t have to show me anything though,” you mumbled, following his movement with your eyes as he moved over to the opposite side of his desk, looking through one of the drawers. 

“I want to,” he whispered to himself. He grabbed a pencil and made his way back to the canvas in the center of the room, starting to sketch a few lines into it. His back was covering the piece and you weren’t able to see it, causing you to move closer so you could peek around his frame. You watched for a moment as he tried sketching a few more details on the female's face before giving up and quickly erasing them, careful not to touch the paint. “I have a vision in my head but haven’t been able to properly portray it on paper,” he explained. “This piece is a present for someone so I want it to be perfect.”

“A present?” you echoed, “for who?”

“Someone very important to me, I can’t reveal who they are at this time but just know this needs to be perfect.”

“I see,” you muttered quietly, crossing your arms over your chest, “so that’s why you’ve been so secretive lately.”

“Yes and no,” Minghao muttered, not taking his eyes off of his sketch, “normally I don’t let people see my personal work but you are a bit of an exception, I figured you could help me.”

“Why me though?”

“You ask a lot of questions, you know that?” he responded to your question with one of his own, “because you’re the one person I can trust. This kind of stuff makes me really nervous, you know.”

“Nervous?”  you question, poking lightly at his shoulder, “that’s pretty honest for someone who's so mysterious,” you teased. He didn’t look at you but you could hear him try to suppress a soft giggle. 

“I’m not trying to be mysterious,” he confessed, “I just haven’t had the time to properly adjust and be myself with the new environment.”

“Well, you’re still young,” you recalled, “especially for a vampire if I remember correctly."

“Exactly, the transition isn’t exactly the easiest process to go through,” he lamented, “I know it was in my best interest but that doesn’t make losing your humanity any easier.” You were silent for a moment, this is the most open he’s ever been with you since you first moved here, and you weren’t even sure if he realized that. Still you wanted to take advantage of this honest side of Minghao, desperate to finally learn more about him. 

“Well there’s nothing wrong with being a bit reclusive. It’s a really powerful trait you know.” you smiled, watching him try to sketch out another piece of the canvas.

“I think I just want people to understand that there’s more to me than they think.” Minghao said, gripping his pencil tightly.

“Like what?” you urged, he opened his mouth to say something before quickly closing it. You sighed at the realization you weren’t going to get a genuine answer to that question, “nevermind don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry,” he apologized, “that’s something I need to keep to myself for now. You’ll know when the time is right.”

“If you say so,” you sighed, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“Anyways,” Minghao quickly changed the subject, returning your attention to his work, “you never did tell me what you think of the current piece.” You nudged him out of the way slightly to get a better look. Your eyes trailed across the figures on the canvas, feeling an odd sense of familiarity between them but not knowing why. 

“It looks great so far, I can’t tell what you’re going for yet because it’s not drawn out but I like the detail I see.” you praised. 

“Like I said it is still a work in progress,” he reminded, “but I think I’m starting to notice my vision so thank you.”

“Really, I only said one thing?” you challenged. 

“You helped more than you know,” he said, returning to his space in front of the canvas. His hand brushed over your arm as he nudged you to the side, and you could have sworn that you felt it linger there a bit longer than normal. His feather light touch sent tingles down your spine and made you want to reach out to him, but his voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “I really should get back to work and I’m sure you want to go back to bed.” You couldn’t help but let your disappointment show, sighing softly as you nodded and pushed away from him. 

“You’re right I should go, sorry for bothering you for so long.” you muttered, staring at the ground as you began walking to the door. You had just put your hand on the doorknob when Minghao called out to you. 

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you turned around, a bit too eagerly for your liking to see Minghao staring back at you. His bottom lip was trapped between his teeth and he looked almost nervous, refusing to meet your gaze. 

“I- you know what nevermind it’s not important, have a good rest.” Just as quickly as he called out for you he was turned back to his work, sketching at the page with a newfound determination. You slumped down a bit, but decided to leave him be, quietly slipping out of the office and leaning against the door once it closed. 

“Minghao, why do you have to be so complicated?”

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

Unfortunately it seemed you wouldn’t get an answer to your question, as Minghao basically began to avoid you after that day. You weren’t invited to his office anymore, and any time you tried to speak to him he dashed away faster than you could blink. It didn’t help that the Wen family started to insist you be more involved with wedding planning, so the minimal free time you had was now spent working with Jun. You tried to be nice to him, knowing that it wasn’t his fault you were in this mess, but you couldn’t help but get frustrated. You had been so close to finally getting Minghao to open up to you, his words replaying in your mind tirelessly, only to have it ripped away from you painfully. Now you may never get another chance because you were stuck listening to his older brother whine about some decoration for the tables you couldn’t care less about. 

“Hey Y/N, are you listening?” you snapped out of your mini sulking session to see Jun staring down at you. His eyes were soft but the frown he wore told you he was worried. If there was one obvious difference you noticed between the vampire brothers, it was that Jun was a thousand times more expressive. 

“I wasn’t sorry, what did you say?” you admitted, feeling bad that you ignored him. Instead of answering you though, Jun turned to face his mother instead. 

“Would you excuse us for a moment, I think Y/N needs a second to clear their head.” You didn’t hear Mrs. Wens reply but assumed she agreed as Jun quickly took your hand and escorted you out of the dining room. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized as he dragged you out. 

“Don’t be, I figured we could both use a break,” he assured, “come on a walk with me, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” You could feel your blood run cold when he said that, immediately assuming the worst. That he knew about you and Minghao and you were about to get in trouble, or that he would call off everything and your family would be stuck with nothing again. “Relax, it's nothing bad, I can hear your heartbeat all the way over here,” Jun teased, smiling back at you to get you to relax a little bit. It worked, if only partially and you took a deep breath as he led you down the hall and into an area of the manor you had never been before. 

“Wait where are we going?” you asked, to which he only shook his head. 

“Patience little one, you’ll see in a second.” The two of you continued walking for a moment before stopping at a large set of double doors. Opening them revealed a large, mainly empty ballroom. The floors seemed newly polished and the only furniture visible was the grand piano that rested elegantly in the corner. The rest of the room was open, clearly giving the space for people to dance and mingle. The room was lined with multiple floor length windows, the curtains currently pulled back to allow moonlight to flood through. The only other light source you could point out were the candle holders that also lined the walls, though they were currently empty which left the moon to light up the room. 

“Wow, I didn’t know this room existed,” you mused, stepping into the middle and twirling around so you could take in everything. 

“We usually keep this room closed off unless we need it for parties,” Jun explained as he closed the doors behind him, “however Hao and I used to come in here a lot when we were younger.” He took your curious glance as a sign to continue, walking over to where the piano was, “We both grew up in this house so as kids we loved playing in here. Then once we got older and he joined the family we would just use this space to talk or think. I even tried teaching him to play the piano once but he wasn’t a big fan.” A few skillful presses of the keys sent a beautiful melody echoing through the room, answering your unspoken question of if Jun could really play the piano. It was at this moment you realized you had never really taken interest in the heir to the Wen family, so focused on trying to keep Minghao’s attention. 

“I didn’t know you could play the piano,” you commented, making him chuckle slightly. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, though I just figured you weren’t interested since you spend all your time with my brother.” Your eyes widened at his comment, quickly stuttering to try and think of an explanation, only for Jun to silence you with a wave of his hand, “relax darling I’m just messing with you. I’ve known there was something between the two of you since the first week you got here, you’re not exactly the best at sneaking around here you know. ”

“Wait, you’re not mad?” you asked in shock, making him shrug.

“Why would I be?”

“Because I’m engaged to you?” you reminded, as if there was any possibility that he had forgotten that fact. 

“True but I’m not dumb you know, I know that this marriage is only for political reasons. Now if we were marrying out of love I would have been mad but you can’t force someone to love you if they never did to begin with.” 

“Well when you put it that way it just makes me feel bad.” you whined. 

“You can’t control your feelings Y/N, if you love Minghao just tell me,” Jun pushed, “the truth is going to come out sooner or later anyways.” You wanted to deny it for the sake of keeping things civil but you knew there was no point, Jun had already seen through you. 

“Fine you caught me, I love him,” you confessed, “so what? It doesn’t change anything does it?” You could see Juns expression fall and he sighed as he took a seat on the bench in front of the piano, still facing you but with his hands propping up his head. 

“Part of me wants to say that it does but honestly I don’t know,” he confessed, “this tradition has been around ever since my family came into power. As the heir to the family I have to marry a human in order to keep things balanced and vampires are like swans, we mate for life. I don’t want to force you into a loveless marriage but I am also obligated to go through with this for the sake of my family.” He noticed the way your expression fell with each word, having to bite his tongue from saying something that may upset you more. “I’m sorry if there was a way for me to end this and let you be with him I would do it.”

“It’s not your fault,” you assured him, “if anything it’s mine for getting too close to him in the first place. Besides, even if you could put a stop to the marriage it wouldn’t change much.”

“What makes you think that?” he asked. You paused for a moment and debated answering, since they were brothers after all and you didn’t want to risk him telling Minghao how you felt. However, your thoughts have been consuming you recently and this may be the only time you would have someone to talk to about it. 

“I don’t think he feels the same way,” you confessed, “something changed recently and now he won’t even look at me, it’s like we’re complete strangers and I don’t understand why.” Jun remained silent, raising an eyebrow for you to continue, which you hesitantly did, “I thought we were getting closer. There was one night where he finally started to open up to me, talking about how hard things were and this painting he was working on. However when he went to ask me something he just kind of shut down and asked me to leave, and I haven’t heard from him since.” Jun didn’t say anything for a moment, taking the time to truly process your words. You watched his lips slowly curve up into a smile before he started laughing.

“You really are a bit naive, you know that?” he teased, cutting you off before you could ask what that was supposed to mean, “Y/N you know as well as I do that Hao is a bit of a mystery. His heart is in the right place but he doesn’t always know how to express that properly so he gets shy. You just have to be patient and slowly break down his walls, because trust me he’s the sweetest guy I know once you get through to him.”

“Well of course you’d say that, you’re his brother.” you said with a soft laugh. 

“Yes but before I was his brother I was his best friend and I’ve been in the same situation you are in currently. I want to say we were 16 or 17 when I finally got him to open up to me. Not to dissuade you though because I’m pretty sure you managed to make more progress than I have in only a few weeks.” 

“You really think that?” you asked, wanting to believe him but also still being unsure of yourself. 

“I know it,” Jun assured, standing up and making his way over to you, “look Y/N I don’t want to get your hopes up about anything because neither of us can go against our family. That being said, I think you owe it to both yourself and Hao to be honest with him about how you feel.” 

“I want to, I really do, but what good will it do if we can’t be together?” you confessed. Jun smiled sadly at you and reached out to squeeze your shoulder.

“Like I said, no promises, but there may be a few strings we can pull so everything works out,” he whispered, almost as if he was telling you a forbidden secret. In all honesty, he probably was as he was basically confessing to willingly trying to go behind his parents backs. It wasn’t something you had time to question however, as Jun squeezed your shoulder one last time before walking past you to the doors. “I have to get back before mom gets too suspicious, but you’re welcome to stay here and think about what I said. I’ll tell her that you were tired and went to bed early.”

“Thank you Jun.” you called out, looking back at him over your shoulder. 

“Don’t thank me just yet,” he warned, “also do me a favor and make sure the room is still clean when you leave, my family will have my head if we let it get messed up.” With that he left you alone, letting the door click softly behind him. You let your gaze fall onto the piano bench for a moment, where he had been sitting, before turning your attention to one of the large windows. It looked almost like a door and you could see a small balcony behind it, much like the one in Minghao’s study. The thoughts of Minghao and what Jun said flooded your thoughts as you moved towards the window on autopilot. Your fingers traced gently over the frame before finding the latch and undoing it to let the glass pane swing open. The soft breeze tickled your face as you pushed the door open enough to slip past and make your way out onto the balcony. Despite the soft breeze, the night air was warm, a contrast to the cool marble railing that you leaned against. Unlike the study, this view reached out to the front of the manor, allowing you to view the main courtyard and the road that lay just beyond the large gates. In the distance you could see the lights from the city, the place you used to call home before your arrangement with the Wen family. Bittersweet memories they were, as when you first moved in you found yourself longing to go back home to your friends and family. You hadn’t spoken to any of them in months, and likely wouldn’t until your wedding day, so you hoped they were alright. At the same time though, you had slowly grown used to living in the manor, so now it was the city that felt foreign to you. Even when you did go out, it was usually at night and accompanied by one of the staff or family friends. One wouldn’t think a city run by vampires would be much different than that of humans but they would be mistaken. Most of the shops were the same with a few minor adjustments, but the atmosphere felt significantly different. You didn’t know how to describe it, but the world of vampires felt more polished in a sense. At first you were worried you would never get used to it, but now you didn’t want to leave it. 

“It’s quite the view isn’t it?” whipping your head around, you were shocked to see Minghao standing behind you. His body leaned against the wall with his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat. His hair was down for once, allowing you to really see how long it was. His bangs were pushed out of his face but a few strands rested in front of his eyes, the rest tickling his neck as the wind pushed it back, though if you had to guess it was almost to his shoulders. You couldn’t help but mentally curse this man for looking more beautiful every time you saw him. 

“Hao,” you muttered as you finally got control of yourself, “what are you doing here?” 

“Ran into Jun in the hallway, he told me I could find you here.” he explained. 

“Were you looking for me?” you asked, albeit a bit too eagerly. 

“Actually I was,” he confessed, “I feel like I owe you an apology, I know I’ve been acting pretty strange recently and I didn’t want you thinking it was your fault.” Those words came as both a relief and a surprise to you. At the same time though, you couldn’t help but worry that he was only doing this because Jun ratted you out. 

“Jun didn’t set you up to this, did he?” you asked, making him huff a bit. 

“Darling he didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know, so no I came after you myself.” You couldn’t help but blush at the nickname, something Minghao clearly noticed. You were about to ask what exactly Jun told him when he turned to look back inside the ballroom, “Come inside with me for a minute, I want to show you something.” To say you were confused would be an understatement, especially since the way he was acting was pretty out of character for him. Still you didn’t say anything as you followed him back inside, making sure to close and lock the door behind you. Minghao motioned for you to stand in the middle of the room as he grabbed a small box from his coat pocket, which you quickly realized was a box of matches. “This used to be my favorite room in the whole house,” he explained, lighting one of the candles before putting the match out and trailing the wall to light the rest, moving quickly but cautiously. “As the decades go by the house has become more and more modern to fit the changing times. This is the only room that has remained perfectly untouched since its construction,” he explained, “I don’t mind the modern touch of course, but there is something so elegant and romantic about a candlelit ballroom don’t you think?”

“It is rather beautiful, I can only imagine how extravagant the events hosted here are.” you commented, taking your eyes off of Minghao to glance across the room once again. 

“There are not many as we save it for the most important milestones but they definitely are something,” Minghao agreed, setting the last candle back into its holder. The room was now lit with a soft glow, the shadows dancing as the flames flickered softly. “I’ve been around for a few but one in particular will always be my fondest memory.” he continued. 

“Oh, what would that be?” you asked. 

“For my parents the day I was turned and initiated into the family was a big deal,” he explained, undoing his coat and walking over to the piano, “they threw a large ball for me in this room to celebrate, almost like a coming of age ceremony I guess. It wasn’t the easiest transition for me so that celebration meant a lot to me and I will never forget the first dance I had on this ballroom floor.” He paused for a minute to lay his coat down on the bench, revealing a maroon red sweater he had tucked into his usual black pants. You had never seen Minghao in any color other than black and white, and the contrast of the red against the rest of him was striking. “The first dance was with my mother,” he continued as he brushed his hands across the piano keys, “all eyes were on us as a special song played, I still remember the melody like it was yesterday.” Minghao lightly pressed on a few of the keys, the melody sounding quite familiar to the one Jun played earlier, only this time it kept playing when he pulled his hand away. The song continued as if someone was playing the piano, a distinct melody that made Minghao smile as he walked away. You weren’t sure whether to be in awe of the song or shocked by the seemingly magic piano. “What, never seen a self playing piano before?” Minghao teased when he noticed your expression. 

“Evidently not,” you exclaimed, “how on Earth is it even doing that?” 

“Simple mind trick,” Minghao explained as if it was nothing, “all I have to do is focus on the song and it’ll do what I want.”

“So what, you’ve been able to move things with your mind this whole time?” you questioned, wondering why you never knew of this ability until now. 

“Yes and no, I wouldn’t even begin to know how to explain it but that’s beside the point,” he brushed it off again as he walked back over to you, “do you know how to dance?” The question took you by surprise, looking at him as if he just asked you what the meaning of life was. 

“Come again?” 

“It’s a yes or no question dear, do you know how to dance?” Minghao repeated, smiling a bit as you nodded your head. 

“A little bit but I haven’t danced with anyone for years.” you confessed. 

“Don’t worry little dove, I will lead the way,” he said with a smirk, extending his hand to you with a soft bow, “may I have this dance?” You were really starting to question if this is the same Minghao you had spoken to a few days prior. His whole demeanor was different and there was an air of confidence to him that you had never seen before. It was like a switch was flipped inside of him and now he was finally opening up and showing you his true self, which you had to assume was Juns doing. Still, you didn’t want to throw away this chance with him so you quickly took his hand and allowed him to guide you into a steady waltz. 

It was a bit rough for you at first, not remembering the moves and getting stiff every time you misstepped which only made Minghao laugh. “Just relax, feel the moment.” he repeated each time until he finally felt you do so. You closed your eyes and focused on the song playing as Minghao guided your movements, until you were both in perfect sync with each other. Minghao hummed softly to the melody as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing your body into his chest as your dance turned into simple swaying. Almost out of instinct, you leaned further into him and rested your head on his shoulder, taking in the sweet scent of roses and a hint of red wine that radiated off of him. Even through the sweater you could feel him, the way his body was cooler but seemed to take in the warmth from your touch. How his own heart wasn’t beating but you could feel your own pulse through his touch, as if he was molding to you. Minghao didn’t push you away, instead he welcomed the almost embrace as you two swayed together, taking in your own scent and closing his eyes. By this point the music had stopped but neither of you seemed to care. This is the closest he had ever been to you, and sadly it was the closest he would probably ever be. 

“I’ve never been this close with anyone outside of my family.” he confessed after a moment, his voice nearly a whisper. Your eyes opened at his words, but you didn’t dare to pull away from him. 

“So why me then?” you asked, almost afraid of hearing the answer. 

“You’re special,” he confessed, “you make me discover parts of myself and feel things that I didn’t know existed. I didn’t know how to handle it, I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you because I was so scared and confused. That’s why I shut you out, because I had hoped if I did that these feelings would go away and things would go back to normal.”

“But they didn’t.” you said, not having to ask since this moment was proof enough. 

“No they didn’t,” he agreed, “and then Jun came into my room and told me what you said, and how you felt and I knew I had to say something, I couldn’t have you getting the wrong idea.” He pulled away from you just enough so that he could look down at you, his eyes carrying every unspoken emotion he was feeling. You were positive that you looked no different, wondering if you were dreaming. Not even a day ago you would have been positive that Minghao hated you, and yet now he was here holding you and looking at you like you were his whole world. It almost felt like too much for you to handle. “Y/N?” he said, getting your attention, “that day in my study, what I wanted to tell you was-’

“You don’t have to say it Minghao, I already know.” you cut him off. He opened his mouth to protest but you cut him off again this time by grabbing his collar and pulling him down so your lips connected. He let out a surprised yelp at the action nearly backing away until he processed what was happening. You reached up to run your hand through his hair just as he relaxed and began to kiss you back, his arm tightening around your waist as the other reached up to cup your cheek. His touch was cold, but you ignored that in favor of focusing on how soft his skin was. His hair glided easily through your fingers and you heard him giggle as you played with the ends, tickling him slightly. His kisses were just as soft, but you could still feel the passion behind them, especially as his fangs poked out to graze at your lower lip. The sensation made you gasp and that was when Minghao finally pulled away, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. He had a shy smile on his face and you were positive he would be blushing if he could, while you felt like you could melt on the spot from how hot your face was. 

“That was definitely unexpected.” he said with a shy giggle. 

“Did you not like it?” you asked, almost afraid that you went too far. 

“No no, I loved it,” he promised, stroking your cheek with his thumb, “I just never expected you to react that way.” You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes, wanting to savor the moment for as long as possible. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that since I first met you,” you confessed, “I love you Minghao, I would want nothing more than to spend every day like this with you.” You had expected him to reciprocate your feelings since you had assumed that’s where this night was leading, but instead you were met with silence. Minghao didn’t say anything which made you open your eyes again. His expression had fallen and he looked almost defeated. 

“I had a feeling you would say that.” he whispered, slowly letting go and backing away from you. You tried to reach back out for him but he avoided your touch. 

“Hao, what’s wrong?” you asked, your heart pounding as you mentally begged him to come back, not to pull away from you again. You finally had him, you didn’t want to let go of him now, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N,” he apologized, turning his gaze to the floor so he wouldn’t have to face you, “this may have been a mistake.”

“What do you mean by mistake?” you practically shouted, unable to hide the pain in your voice, “what the hell were these last few hours then, everything you just said? You can’t honestly tell me that you didn’t feel anything this whole time!” 

“What? Of course I felt something I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t,” he tried to defend, his voice raising a pitch despite his calm composure. “Look I’m sorry but I can’t let this go any further, if my parents found out about this then…”

“That’s what this is about?” you cut him off, “you can’t be honest with your feelings because of some stupid tradition with your parents? Who cares what they think, Minghao? It’s just a stupid wedding. I'm sure they can find someone else if they really needed to.”

“I care, Y/N!” he exclaimed, “to you this may not seem like a big deal but to me it is. I owe my life to my family because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t even be here talking to you right now. You think it’s easy for me to sit here and be a bystander watching you give yourself to my brother when I would give anything to be in his place? I love you I really do, but I can’t betray my family like this, not after everything they’ve done for me.” By the time he finished talking he was stiff, shoulders bouncing as if he was out of breath and his eyes had an unfamiliar red tint to them. You took a few steps back, having never seen him this worked up before. Normally you would have been over the moon to hear Minghao say he loved you, but now it felt like a knife stabbing into your heart. By this point you were crying, tears streaming freely down your cheeks that you didn’t bother to hide. The sight pained Minghao, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and brush them away, but he knew he shouldn’t. 

“You know,” you finally spoke after a moment, “if you really loved me you would put your pride aside and actually fight for me instead of shutting me out like everyone else.” It was cruel to say that and you knew it, but you were hurting and you wanted him to feel the same pain you were, if not more. Minghaos jaw tightened at your words, refusing to look at you as he regained his composure. 

“And here I thought you would be different.” he muttered to himself, but you were able to hear him clearly. His words didn’t have time to process before the room went cold and dark. As quickly as he had appeared, Minghao was gone, the sudden gust of wind and slamming of the door the only indication that he had even been there. You looked up at the candles, watching the smoke rise up from them before falling to your knees and sobbing. You felt suddenly trapped in the large room, suffocated by the darkness as you hugged yourself and continued to cry, not caring if anyone heard you. You wanted to scream and beg for Minghao to come back but you couldn’t, he was gone and now you were positive that he wasn’t coming back. 

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

Sure enough, you didn’t see Minghao for nearly a month after that night. You knew he was there, as you overheard the staff speak about him and could hear him working in his study any time you passed by. A few times you had knocked on the door, apologizing through the wood and begging for him to let you in, but he never answered. It was evident he was avoiding you, and while you wanted to be mad at him, you couldn’t lie and say you didn’t miss him. 

You weren’t sure if he told Jun what happened, but it was clear the older at least knew something was up judging by the sad smile he gave you whenever he saw you looking around. He never spoke to you directly though, only ever giving you gentle pats on the head or shoulder whenever he walked by you. You were half tempted to ask him if he knew something, but with the wedding only moments away it was impossible to get the oldest son alone. You were starting to feel like you were back to how things were when you first moved in. You were confused, frustrated, and, worst of all, alone. You also started distancing yourself as much as possible, locking yourself in your room whenever you weren’t needed for wedding planning. Mrs. Wen had noticed your behavior and tried asking you once at dinner if everything was alright, but all you could do was tell her you had a lot on your mind and left it at that. 

Tonight was one of the nights you were staying locked in your room, curled up on your bed staring out the window when you heard a knock at your door. At first you ignored it, assuming it was one of the staff, until the knocking got more frequent. Groaning, you forced yourself to get off the bed and make your way to the door, opening it to reveal a very frantic Jun. 

“About time you opened the door.” he whined, pushing past you and into your room. 

“Well hello to you too,” you uttered sarcastically, closing the door again, “I thought you guys needed to be invited in to enter a place?” 

“First off, that is an awful stereotype of us, and second of all it’s my house I can enter any room I want,” he pointed out. 

“Fair enough I guess, but why are you here?” you asked, crossing your arms. 

“You know if I didn’t know better I’d think you hated me,” he whined before straightening up again, “but last time I checked you also wanted my help with Minghao correct?” That got your attention and you immediately perked up.

“Are you saying you actually can help me?” you asked, suddenly hopeful. 

“I’m not 100% sure but there’s a chance it will work,” Jun explained, “do you remember when I told you that vampires mate for life?”

“Yeah, why?” you asked, confused as to what he was getting at. 

“Well there’s a process for that,” he explained, “I probably should have told you this earlier because it would be part of our wedding, but we claim our mates with a bite that seals our bond. Normally we do this during a certain point called a blood moon because the energy is higher.”

“First off that sounds like something wolves would do, not you guys,” you point out, “secondly yeah knowing that earlier would have been nice.”

“I’m going to ignore the wolf comment for now but yeah I’m sorry for not telling you,” he brushed you off, “but long story short if the mating ceremony is done outside of a blood moon usually that means the bond between us fails. However, if the feelings between a vampire and their mate is strong enough then it can work, and we would never break a mated couple apart.” It was finally starting to click with you what he was saying, a look of realization brushing over your features. 

“So what you are saying is that if I end up mating with Minghao, we can call off the wedding?” you questioned, “No offense to you of course.” 

“None taken.” Jun assured, “But yes if your bond is strong enough my family will have no choice but to accept it. However, if it doesn’t work then there’s nothing else we can do and it’ll be over.” 

“What are the chances of it working?” you asked.

“I’m not sure, I’ve never witnessed it myself, only heard of it.” he confessed. You knew it was a huge risk, but the more you thought about it the more it was a risk you were willing to take. If it meant you had a shot with Minghao, you would have been crazy not to try. 

“It’s worth a shot.” you stated, already making your way to the door to go find Minghao. 

“Hold up,” Jun stopped you, “you can’t just make him bite you, it doesn't work that way, the emotional bond has to be there as well.” That made you pause for a moment, given the fight you guys had, you didn’t even know if Minghao wanted to be around you anymore. 

“Emotional bond, got it,” you repeated with a deep breath, “well, wish me luck I guess.”

“Don’t overthink it Y/N, you got this!” Jun called out after you, but by that point you were already out of the room. You needed to do this now, while you were still determined and not psyching yourself out. 

The library seemed much colder than you remembered it to be, though perhaps that was your imagination. The welcoming atmosphere that usually invited you was replaced with a distant sense of dread. It hit you like a splash of ice water and made you freeze for a moment, almost debating turning around and returning to the comfort of your room for the night. However, you were determined to finish what you started, so you took a deep breath before continuing on your path. Almost on autopilot you navigated through various bookshelves and desks until you reached the familiar wooden door. You didn’t bother knocking, inviting yourself in and gently closing the door behind you. 

Minghao wasn’t at his desk like he normally was, instead you found him leaning against the wall as he looked out through the floor length window into the garden. His body was turned towards you, but his gaze remained focused on the view before him, giving you the perfect view of the man you loved. His shirt was still tucked in, though the first few buttons were undone and his sleeves were rolled up past his elbow, his cloak having been tossed carelessly onto his chair. One hand was tucked in his pocket while the other was mindlessly twirling a wine glass. His rings shone in the light and casted a reflection on the glass, only covered by the sloshing of the remaining red liquid inside. His expression was as sharp and stoic as ever, but you knew him well enough to know he was hiding something. There was a distance in his eyes, gazing at nothing as he was lost in his own thoughts. His bangs fell into his eyes and cast a shadow over his face, something he normally hated but right now didn’t seem to bother with. He looked just as beautiful as he always did, but you could tell he was hurting and that made your own heart hurt in return. 

Minghao knew you were there, he could sense your presence before you even walked into his study. The familiar aura you carried that had once been warm and inviting, but was now a dull blade stabbing at him every time he even thought of getting close to you. You could feel it too, the distance that had torn you apart over the last few weeks, the pain of wanting him to hold you and promise he’ll never leave but knowing he couldn't. You knew that he saw you, his eyes flicking over to you if only for a moment before returning back to the window. He didn’t move or make any effort to acknowledge you, merely pretending like you weren’t there. It hurt to be ignored by him this way, though you figured that you deserved it. Honestly you didn’t know what reaction you had been expecting after what happened, but you weren’t prepared for it to hurt this much. Perhaps coming here was a bad idea after all, that’s what you told yourself with a defeated sigh. You were about to turn and leave when you heard the male clear his throat. Looking back, you watched as Minghao straightened up and finished the rest of his wine before finally speaking.

“What are you doing here?” his voice was cold and emotionless, and you hated the way you flinched at it. 

“Hao I-” you froze, not sure what exactly you were supposed to say. He didn’t respond, merely keeping his gaze on you as he moved back to his desk, setting the empty glass to the side as he sat down, resting his chin on his hand. You took a moment to look around the room, realizing how much of a mess it was. His art supplies were carelessly scattered all over the place, and you noticed the painting he was working on had disappeared. Even his desk was a mess of random notes and sketches. You tried to glance at them but he noticed and quickly swiped them out of your view. “What happened to your painting?” you asked, glancing back at the mess where it had once been. 

“I lost my muse.” he replied flatly, “You didn’t answer my question.” You hated how cold he was being, but you supposed you deserved it. 

“I needed to see you.” you confessed. 

“Want to yell at me more? Toss my emotions aside?” he scoffed, though you could hear the pain lingering in his voice. 

“No, I came to say I’m sorry, I never should have yelled at you like that. I let my emotions take control and I know that I can’t take back what I said but I need you to know that I didn’t mean it, and I’m sorry.” Your apology took him by surprise, a startled noise getting caught in his throat as he sat up. 

“I see,” he muttered softly, “I appreciate the apology, and I am sorry too, what happened that night was my fault. I shouldn’t have let things drag on.” You sighed softly and made your way over to him, kneeling down on the other side of his desk and reaching for his hand. He stiffened up a bit, but didn’t stop you which you took as a positive sign. 

“I did mean one thing though, I love you Minghao and I’m not giving up on you.” you said, making him sigh. 

“I love you too Angel, I really do, but I told you we can’t let this go further.”

“I know that once the wedding happens it’ll be over, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have right now,” you argued, “one night Minghao, that’s all I’m asking for.” He raised an eyebrow at you, urging you to continue, “I want a redo of the night we spent in the ballroom. I want you to dance with me for real and not pull away from me. After that I will leave you alone but please the least you can do is give me that.” Minghao took a moment to ponder what you were asking, absentmindedly rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. 

“This is dangerous, you do know that right?” he asked after a moment, shaking his head when you nodded, “We could get in a lot of trouble for this.”

“I’ve thought a lot about this, I just can’t let you slip away from me anymore.” you said, determined to make him listen. 

“You’re after something aren’t you?” he realized, you didn’t want to give away your intentions but you couldn't help but smirk a bit which was the only response he needed. Another moment of silence passed and for a moment you were worried that he would reject you, but finally you saw him nod his head. 

“Fine, this is the least I can do I suppose,” he agreed, “meet me in the ballroom tomorrow at sundown, if you’re not there by the time the sun sets fully I’ll leave.” You couldn’t help but smile at his agreement, squeezing his hand softly before standing up. 

“Thank you, I’ll be there I promise!”

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

The ballroom felt even bigger than before, but maybe that was due to your nerves. This was your last chance to get Minghao, and if you failed then you would lose him, probably for good. The thought alone was enough to hurt you and it hadn’t even happened yet. Your shoes clicked softly on the polished floor as you stepped inside, glancing around the room. Minghao had definitely been here already, the candles lit, some of the curtains pulled back to cast shadows on the floor from the still setting sun. The piano was even playing already, a new melody that you never heard before. It was beautiful for sure, but also more melancholic than the one that had played when you first danced with Minghao. Speaking of, the vampire in question was nowhere to be seen. Spinning around the room once, then twice, you trailed your eyes over every corner in hopes to see him, but there was nothing. Minghao was nowhere to be seen, and you couldn’t help but deflate a bit at the thought that he left already, despite the fact the sun was still out. 

“I was wondering when you would show up,” startled, you twirled around to see him only a few feet behind you, appearing practically out of thin air. He was dressed in all black, even having the shade brushed lightly on his eyes to make them pop. The only color being the jewels that decorated his ears and fingers, twinkling against the candlelight. You were used to seeing Minghao in all black, but something about the way he looked now made him even more beautiful. 

“Where did you come from?” you asked, “I swore no one was here when I walked in.” 

“Hiding in the shadows is pretty easy, just needed to make sure this wasn’t a trick.” 

“Why would I trick you?”

“I know you’ve been talking with my brother,” he replied, “who knows what you two have been up to.” Before you could argue that there was nothing, he was speaking up again, “It doesn’t matter though, you are here now so, shall we?” He offered his hand to you, much like he did the last time and you quickly took it, falling into step with him as you began swaying to the rhythm. It didn’t take long for the dance to pick up, and the two of you were soon gliding across the floor, matching each other's movements perfectly and falling in sync with ease. Minghao seemed a bit stiff at first, being so close to you, but he soon relaxed as the melody from the piano became softer, almost hypnotic. You closed your eyes for a moment and just allowed yourself to feel the music, letting it guide you and him in turn. 

The sun gradually set as you two danced, until moonlight replaced it shining through the window, making the flicker of the candles more dramatic. The room felt more romantic without the extra light, more intimate as you willed yourself to get closer to Minghao, wanting to feel him and engrave this moment into your memory. It nearly worked, and for a moment you were at peace, until he spoke up again. 

“So, do you want to tell me what this is really about?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, glancing up to meet his gaze, though your eyes quickly fell back to your feet. His expression was soft, and yet his eyes were burning through you like he knew something you didn’t. Judging by his attitude, you wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case. 

“I wasn’t born yesterday Y/N, I know you didn’t drag me here just because you wanted a dance,” he pointed out, “you’re up to something and I want to know what it is.”

“I’m not up to anything, I just want to be with you,” you confessed, “I just want to love you and have you love me in return.” 

“You know that I love you, I’ve loved you since the first night we spent together in my study.”

“Then why won’t you show it? I know you’re worried about your family and all of that but does their approval really matter that much. Clearly Jun is okay with us being together and I’m sure your parents would come around to it,” you were basically pleading with him at this point. You didn’t care what the consequences were any more, you just wanted to be near him, hold him, love him the way you knew he deserved. You knew he was holding back and hurting himself in the process and you hated seeing him like this, you just needed him to open up. 

“My love, believe me I would do whatever it takes to be with you,” he promised, leaning down to rest his head against yours. 

“Then do it,” you urged, “you and I both know there’s a way.” Minghao was confused for a moment, until it finally dawned on him what you were implying. 

“Love, you can’t seriously be asking me to-”

“Mate with me,” you cut him off with your answer, “I know the chances of it working are low but if it does then your family would have no choice but to accept us!”

“You do know what you’re asking for right?” Minghao questioned, “this is not a simple process and it could put you under a lot of stress. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Who said you would hurt me? I’ve done my research Hao, I know what I am getting myself into.” 

“There are so many ways that this could go wrong,” he argued. 

“I know but think about what it would mean if it goes right,” you rebutted, “you do want to be with me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do but I don’t want you to potentially ruin everything for yourself, if it works that means you will be bonded to me forever,” Minghao reminded. As much as he would love for it to work, he knew the risks better than you did and he didn’t want you making a choice that you would regret. 

“Hao please,” you pleaded, lifting your arms to cup his face, “what will it take to convince you?” You could see the gears turning in his mind as he melted into your touch, his own hands coming up to rest on top of yours. 

“Are you sure this is what you really want?” he asked, almost in a whisper. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” 

“Very well,” Minghao agreed, “I’ll make you a deal. I will give you a taste tonight of how that feels and give you time to think about it. If you decide this is what you still want, then we can give it a shot, but know that I can’t promise you it will work.” It wasn’t the exact outcome you were hoping for, but you supposed it was better than having him turn you down completely. “So little dove,” he continued, grabbing one of your wrists and turning his head to press a kiss on your pulse point, “do we have a deal?” You nodded at first, only to sigh when he gave you a stern look stating that he needed a verbal answer. 

“If it means you’ll give me a chance then yes, we have a deal.”

“Very well,” Minghao pulled away from you slightly, still holding onto your wrist as he gave it a once over. “You haven’t been bitten by a vampire before, right?” he asked, unable to hide his smirk when you agreed, “the wrist is an easier spot for your first time. I’m only going to do it long enough so you can get a good feeling for it though. It may hurt at first, but after a few seconds it should start to feel almost warm but not in a bad way.” He looked up at you to make sure you understood, stroking your skin with his thumb as you took a second to calm your nerves. Though you weren’t sure if you were nervous because of the new experience or because Minghao was the one doing it. 

“I’m ready,” you assured, giving him a confident smile. 

“Good, if it hurts or you feel dizzy at all I want you to pull at my hair and I’ll stop,” with that he pulled your wrist towards his mouth. You got a few seconds to prepare as he pressed a light kiss against your pulse point, letting his fangs brush over it before carefully biting down. You gasped at the sensation, tensing up as it felt like you were being stabbed with needles. Minghaos grip on your wrist tightened as you squirmed, keeping you still and looking up at you to make sure you were okay. The pain lasted for a few more seconds before turning into a dull throbbing, and then finally you felt the warm sensation he was talking about. It started at your wrist before flooding through the rest of your body, making you tingle and relax against his touch. You never expected the sensation to be this pleasurable, almost feeling like you were too hot and yet it was a sensation you never wanted to end. Minghao couldn’t help but moan softly at the taste, an action you mimicked as his pleasure only seemed to heighten your experience. 

The second you felt your legs go weak was the moment he let you go, brushing his tongue over the newly formed bite mark and wiping his lips with his free hand. He was quick to catch you as you felt yourself lower to the ground, bringing him down with you as he looked at you in concern. 

“Are you alright?” 

“That was amazing,” you breathed out, “honestly I didn’t want you to stop, that felt way better than I thought it would.” Minghao giggled softly at your confession. 

“I didn’t want it to end either, but if I didn’t stop then I’m not sure I would have been able to, your taste is so addicting.” You looked over at him, noticing how his pupils were blown and his lips were parted, fangs still poking out as if he was desperate for more. You weren’t sure if it was because you were coming down from your mini high still, or if it was how attractive he looked, but you couldn’t stop yourself from jumping forward and crashing your lips onto his. The contact clearly caught him off guard and sent both of you crashing to the ground, Minghao on his back with you on top of him. He let out a surprised yelp and for a second you were worried you had hurt him, about to pull away and apologize when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer to him to deepen the kiss. 

You could still taste the remains of your blood on his lips, but the rest of Minghao was so intoxicating that you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You bit on his bottom lip and swiped your tongue across his fangs and the inside of his mouth, careful not to cut yourself. He tried returning the passion in your kiss but you quickly overpowered him and he was left a moaning mess on the floor, desperately gripping onto you as you kissed him like your life depended on it. You adjusted yourself so you were straddling him, grinding your hips down against his when you felt the bulge forming in his trousers. The friction had Minghao whimpering against you, breaking the kiss and throwing his head back as you repeated the action. As you sat up to catch your breath you finally realized the position you found yourself in. The normally calm and composed Minghao was now a shuddering mess beneath you, his hair messy and makeup smeared, his shirt also coming untucked at the front which gave you a peek at his abdomen. All of this coming from a simple bite, and it made you want to ruin the man beneath you. Claim him as yours and see how far you could unravel him until he came undone. You were never one to claim a dominant role in your past relationships, but something about the man beneath you brought out a new found confidence. 

“I want you so badly,” you whispered, grabbing his hair and lightly pulling his head back so you could kiss and suck at his neck. 

“Then take me,” he pleaded, “Darling I am all yours.” His words were rewarded when you bit down on his neck softly before returning to kiss him again, giving his hair one last tug before letting go and moving your hands beneath you to begin undoing his shirt. You could feel his hands tugging at your own shirt, debating pulling it off before giving up and sliding his hands under the fabric instead. His touch was cold in contrast to your heated skin, sending shivers down your body and making you gasp into his mouth. His fingers expertly traced your skin, gently scratching down your lower back before reaching further up to pinch and tug at your nipples. The sensations had you arching your back, making you grind your hips further into his and making him groan. 

“You are so beautiful, you know that?” you asked, pulling away from the kiss to finish undoing his shirt. This was the first time you were ever seeing Minghaos body and he was even more attractive than you had imagined. You knew that he was on the slimmer side, but his body was still toned enough that you could see the outline of his muscles. His skin was soft and unblemished, feeling almost unreal under your touch as you trailed your hands up his body, taking your time to feel him and memorize every curve. Minghao sighed softly at the touch, leaning his head back against the ground and letting his eyes close so he could enjoy the feeling. 

“You’re one to talk,” he responded after a moment, giving your nipples another tug which made you squirm above him, “sensitive too I take it.” 

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, I’m the one in charge here,” you reminded, sliding down his legs a bit so that you could undo his belt and trousers. Minghao lifted his hips enough to help you slide them down along with his boxers, opting not to take them off all the way since you were desperate to feel him. Minghaos length matched well with the rest of his body, on the longer side but more slender. It seemed you had already gotten him pretty worked up as he was already leaking precum and his tip was red. Minghao gasped and shuddered as you took the base in your hand, giving him a few experimental strokes to get a good feel of him. 

“Even this is pretty,” you teased, swiping your thumb across his slit causing him to tense up, “I would love to get a taste of you.” 

“As much as I would love that Darling we might want to hurry things up, we are still in the ballroom and I would rather not have anyone walk in on us,” Minghao reminded. You spared a cautionary glance towards the doors, taking a moment to listen for any footsteps. Based on what Jun and Hao had told you, the chances of anyone walking in were slim, but that didn’t mean they were zero. After a moment you decided it was safer not to risk taking too long and sighed. 

“Next time then,” you hummed, climbing off of Minghao for a second so you could remove your bottoms then climbing back on top of him. His hands found their way to your hips as you positioned yourself over him, spitting on your hand and using that to coat his length before slowly easing him inside of you. The stretch wasn’t too bad, but it was still enough for you to feel it, causing you to moan as you stilled with him inside of you. Minghao cursed at the feeling and threw his head back, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth in an attempt to be quiet. 

“Oh god you feel so good,” he moaned out, tightening his grip on your hips as you gave yourself a second to adjust. It took all of his willpower not to thrust up into you, but he refrained and allowed you to go at your own pace to make sure he was comfortable. It only took a moment for you to get used to him, grinding your hips down on him before starting to lift yourself up and bouncing on him. You went at a teasingly slow pace, almost frustratingly so, but it was worth it to see Minghao tense up in an attempt to not take control and pound into you the way you were sure he wanted to do. “Angel,” he huffed out, “as much as I love this time with you I am dying here, please go faster.”

“Aren’t you already dead?” you teased, but you obliged and sped up your pace anyway, causing the both of you to moan out. Your hands landed on his chest for support and his began roaming your body, making sure to feel every inch of your skin. Eventually he settled for gripping onto your thighs, squeezing at them as you continued to bounce on him. Unfortunately, it was hard for you to keep up the pace as you quickly began to grow tired, movements faltering a bit as you struggled trying to keep going. Minghao quickly noticed and chuckled softly to himself, taking advantage of your exhaustion to grab you and flip you both over so now he was the one on top. 

“Alright little dove, now it’s my turn,” he purred, grabbing your hands and pinning them beside your head as he began thrusting into you at an almost inhuman pace. The speed and force had you crying out in pleasure, tightening your grip on his hands and closing your eyes as you lost yourself to the feeling. Minghao pressed his lips to yours again to help keep you quiet, swallowing your moans as he continued the same pace. It wasn’t long before you felt that familiar knot forming in your stomach. 

“Hao, I’m close,” you moaned out, pulling away from the kiss. 

“Don’t worry Angel, I got you just let go,” he whispered, burying his head in your shoulder as his own moans got louder, signaling that he wasn’t far behind you. With a few more thrusts he was pulling out and releasing over your stomach, biting down on your shoulder to quiet himself. The sensation of his fangs buried into your skin again was enough to send you over the edge, vision going white as your release took over you. 

The last thing you remembered was Minghao calling your name and feeling his fingers graze your cheek before you passed out. 

ღ ღ ღ ღ ღ

To say you were confused when you woke up in an unfamiliar bed was an understatement. This bed was bigger and much softer, with you tucked in under a black, silk comforter as opposed to the velvet one in your room. You felt dizzy and the side of your neck was throbbing, brushing your fingers over the area, you winced when they touched an evident mark. The same place Minghao had bitten you right before you passed out. Speaking of Minghao, the male in question was nowhere to be seen, the only sign of him being the scent of him that lingered in what you had to guess was his room. Your suspicions were confirmed when you rolled over and saw a note resting on the pillow. You could recognize his handwriting anywhere as you read the note apologizing for going too far and having to leave you alone. It said he needed to attend to a few things but for you to rest and relax and he would be back soon. You couldn’t deny that you were a bit disappointed waking up without him, but at least he didn’t abandon you. 

You slowly sat up and pulled the comforter off of you, revealing that you were also wearing one of Haos dress shirts, the fabric doing very little to cover your figure but at least it was something after your own clothes had been ruined in the ballroom. Also it smelled like him which served as a great comfort to you. You couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to overwhelm your senses, and yet you wouldn’t dare pull yourself away from it, almost as if you were drawn to anything that reminded you of him. You shook that thought away though instead deciding to glance around the unfamiliar room. You had only ever seen his study and not his actual room, so you couldn’t help but be curious. Besides, you assumed Minghao was still busy and wouldn’t be back for a while so there would be no harm in looking around as long as you were careful, right?

You carefully slipped out of bed, taking a moment to stretch before making your way to the other side of the room. Most of the lights were off, but the lamp on his bedside was on which provided enough light for you to see clearly. Minghaos room had the same dated touch as the rest of the house, but it was also distinctly his. It had the same off white walls that you recognized from the rest of the rooms, but with more notes of gray and black in the furniture. The floor was hardwood, but there was a large gray rug in the middle that you swore was the softest thing you ever felt. The walls were decorated with various paintings, some of which you recognized as his own while others were likely collected from his trips. There were also various artifacts and statues on the shelves that seemed fragile so you were careful to stay away from those. The windows in the room were smaller, mostly covered though one was open to let a soft breeze into the room. The room was fairly simple, but it also had an elegance to it that had Minghaos name written all over it. The one thing that really caught your attention though, was the black easel that was tucked into the far back corner, facing away from you so you couldn't see what was on the canvas. Unlike his studio, the supplies in his room were neatly organized on little black shelves, all surrounding that one corner. You had seen his work a million times before, but something about this one in particular was calling out to you. 

Cautiously, you walked over to the corner, careful not to knock anything over as you carefully turned the canvas around. A familiar outline came into view and you realized why you had been so drawn to the painting, it was the same one that Minghao had shown you back before your fight. You had assumed he had gotten rid of it, but now it was standing right in front of you, and much more detailed than you had remembered. In fact, it looked like he was nearly finished with it. You could clearly make out the details on the two figures, and it dawned on you why your opinion on it mattered so much to Minghao. 

“That’s…us,” you muttered, ghosting your fingers lightly over the painting to trace the noticeable figures. He had painted the two of you dancing together, catching small details like your eyes, your hair, the way you smiled at him, everything. You also very quickly recognized the outfit as the dress he had designed and was planning to make you for your wedding. You couldn’t help but get emotional looking at it, wondering how long this had taken for him to do and how long he had been planning it. 

“Going through my stuff I see,” you whipped around to see a smug Minghao standing against the door, hands tucked in his pockets as he watched you. You didn’t even know he was back, let alone hear the door open. 

“Hey, when did you get back?” you questioned in an attempt to change the subject. It wasn’t like you were doing anything wrong but you still felt awkward getting caught. Not to mention the look he had was enough to make you feel small under his gaze. 

“Just now, I got called into a family meeting. I’m surprised you’re awake. I've only been gone an hour or so,” he said. 

“I see,” you replied, “how did that go?”

“That’s not important right now,” he brushed you off, “want to explain what you’re doing?”

“You didn’t get rid of the painting,” you stated as if that wasn’t obvious, the response causing Minghao to laugh.

“Of course I didn't, I just needed a more private space to work on it, you know you weren’t supposed to see it yet.”

“But I already have seen it.”

“Were you able to tell it was us back then?” he asked, shaking his head at your moment of realization, “honestly when I started working on it I had planned to confess to you with it but things got a bit complicated so I locked it away in here, and yet here we are.” 

“You’re the one that brought me to your room,” you reminded. 

“Well what was I supposed to do hm? Leave you passed out and half naked on the ballroom floor?” Minghao teased. You couldn’t help but blush at the memory of what happened only a few hours prior, something Minghao noticed even in the dim lighting. 

“You could have taken me to my room if you didn’t want me to get curious,” you teased back. 

“I could have but I like having you here, I think I may just keep you here from now on.” He was clearly amused by the situation and as much as you loved the idea of staying with him, there was also a defiant part of you that wanted to push his buttons and mess with him. 

“What if I don’t want to stay here?” you questioned, moving over to the door and attempting to push past him. You didn’t even make it a step further before his arm was around your waist, pulling you against his chest. 

“You weren’t saying that earlier,” he whispered, “and I’m afraid that’s no longer an option.”

“Well I change my mind,” you muse, clearly not serious as you pull away from him. Minghao lets you go, but you hear him groan as you do. 

“This is a dangerous game you are playing, you know that right?” he huffed, tone lowering as he spoke, “if you walk out that door there will be trouble.”

“For me or for you?” you taunt, already opening the door. You weren’t sure what you were expecting but there was a new thrill emerging from the idea of running from him. Would he chase after you? Given the way he was acting it was almost a guarantee and that thought had your mind racing. Also, in a weird way this felt like revenge for all the times he ran from you. 

“Darling I’m giving you five seconds, don’t make me chase after you.” Minghaos voice was stern, but you could hear the amusement laced behind it. He was challenging you, he wanted you to run away because he wanted the thrill of chasing after you. Who were you to deny him? Minghao started counting down and you wasted no time in running out the door and down the hall. You paused for a moment, looking around the hall and wondering where you could go where Minghao wouldn’t catch you. The garden would have been your default but you assumed that was too obvious, but you didn’t know a large majority of the house so you weren’t sure where else you could go. Not that you had much time though, as you looked over your shoulder to see Minghao already making his way towards you. He wasn’t running, but his stride was long and you knew he would easily catch up to you if you waited too long. “If I were you my little dove, I would start running,” he called out, causing you to turn and immediately rush down the stairs. 

You could briefly hear Minghao yell something after you, but his voice quickly vanished as you put enough distance between yourself and him. Knowing the young vampire though, he probably wasn’t too far behind you and had a few tricks up his sleeve to mess with you. Eventually you decided the library would be your best bet, yeah it was obvious but had enough space for you to hide and potentially run away from Minghao. With that in mind, you crept your way over to the familiar door and snuck inside, careful not to make too much noise. Moving a bit slower to make sure you didn’t run into anything, you tucked yourself into a corner behind one of the bookshelves. You kneeled down and positioned yourself so that you could peek around the shelf. Not that it mattered much as you couldn’t see anything due to the darkness. You couldn’t deny the thrill you got from waiting, wondering how long it would take for him to catch you already knowing he would. 

It only took a few moments before the door was opening, light pouring in and showing his shadow before the door was closing again. You covered your mouth and pressed your back into the wall as you heard his footsteps echo through the room. You could hear him hum and giggle softly as he made his way around the shelves, clearly undeterred by the darkness. 

“Quite a predictable hiding spot don’t you think?” he called out, voice echoing as he looped around one of the bookshelves, “I’m starting to think you don’t even want to win.” You couldn’t help but huff at that, the sound catching Minghaos attention as he made his way to the corner. You could barely make out his outline as he stalked towards you, giving you enough time to react and slide around to the other side of the shelf. Keeping your movements as silent as possible, you darted past him, heading to the area of the room he had just vacated, hoping to throw him off your trail. Minghao seemed to notice this as you heard him laugh. “Where are you hiding my little dove, I know you’re in here,” he called out, the playfulness in his voice evident.

You pressed yourself against the wall, suppressing a giggle, feeling the adrenaline rushing through your veins. You knew Minghao was a master at this game, but you were determined to outsmart him. Your heart was pounding in your ears as you tried to stay as quiet as possible. The sound of footsteps stopped, a moment of silence followed before his voice rang out again, “Well played Darling, but it's no use, I will find you soon enough. We are linked, you can’t hide.”

You giggled quietly, tiptoeing your way to the door in hopes that you could sneak out past him. It seemed that Minghao was two steps ahead of you though, as the second you went to open the door you found yourself pinned against it. You gasped as your wrists were pinned to the door beside your head, Minghao pressing himself against you so you couldn’t escape. 

“Found you,” Minghao purred, flipping you around so you were facing him. 

“You did indeed, now what?” you hummed, squirming against him. 

“Now,” Minghao breathed, leaning in so your lips were brushing, “I claim what's rightfully mine.” As he connected your lips he pulled you both away from the door, savoring your taste for a second before pulling away and throwing you over his shoulder with what you assumed was inhuman strength. You let out a noise that was a mix between a squeal and a laugh as you were carried back up the stairs and into his room, Minghao kicking the door closed before carefully dropping you onto his bed. “Since we’re alone I can finally take my time with you,” he mused, carefully undoing his shirt and sliding it off his body as he walked around to the other side of the bed. “Stay put,” he ordered when he saw you reach out for him, staying out of your reach as he went through his various drawers looking for something. Before you could ask him what he was doing he had returned with what he needed, crawling onto the bed and setting whatever it was off to the side before pinning you to the bed and kissing you again. His hands made quick work of the shirt you were wearing, practically ripping it off to expose your body to him. 

“Beautiful,” he praised, pulling away to admire you before reaching behind him, “do you trust me?”

“Of course,” you whispered back, making him smile and show you the object that was in his hand, a long silk tie that you assumed he got from his closet. 

“Good, now be good for me and put your hands over your head,” he ordered, to which you eagerly obeyed. It was a bit of a struggle with the shirt still in the way, but that only seemed to amuse Minghao as he helped you put your arms up, your hands still caught in the sleeves. If anything, this only worked in his favor as he wrapped the fabric around your wrists in a makeshift restraint, finishing his work off with the tie to make sure that you couldn’t easily escape your binds. “Comfortable?” he asked, to which you eagerly nodded, “perfect, now why don’t you do me a favor and close your eyes.” Once again you agreed, squirming with anticipation as you wondered what he had planned. 

The realization came a few seconds later as you felt something soft brush along your inner thigh, causing you to gasp. You heard Minghao hum in delight as the sensation brushed along your thigh once again before moving to your hip and up your body, purposefully missing the spots he knew you would be sensitive. Once the bristles tickled your stomach, you recognized the sensation as being one of his paintbrushes. The tip barely grazed your skin as he brushed random patterns all over your body, going down to your thigh before moving back up and lightly brushing around your nipple, causing you to whine and open your eyes. 

“Hao,” you whined out, “stop teasing me please.” He ignored you though as he moved the brush up your stomach, swirling it around your nipple. You hated how sensitive you were, reacting to the lightest touch by arching your back and silently pleading him for more. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about Darling,” Minghao murmured, “I’m just working on my latest masterpiece.” You whined again as he continued trailing the paintbrush across your body, paying close attention to your nipples but refusing to touch you. You were growing increasingly frustrated at the teasing, rubbing your thighs together and pulling at your hands. You almost succeeded in pulling them out of the shirt when his free hand reached up to grab your wrists. “Nice try Angel, you’re not getting away from me that easy,” he hummed. You exhaled sharply as he set the paintbrush to the side gripping your thigh as  he trailed his kisses down your chest, stopping to swirl his tongue over your nipple. You gasped softly and arched your back, giving Minghao better access to your chest. He continued with his actions, flicking your nipple with his tongue before wrapping his lips around it and sucking, making you moan softly. 

“So sensitive,” he muttered, grazing the skin lightly with one of his fangs before letting it go and switching to give the other side the same treatment. His one hand stayed pressed against your wrists, keeping them in place as you tried pulling away. 

“Minghao please,” you begged, “I need you so badly, please do something!”

“Well since you asked so nicely,” he replied, making quick work of his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side and positioning himself at your entrance. Mimicking your actions from before, he spit on his hand to lubricate himself before slowly pushing into you. You threw your head back against the covers and moaned at the familiar stretch, Minghao groaning softly as he bottomed out. He started out with slow thrusts, just feeling you and letting you get used to him before gradually speeding up until he was thrusting into you with the same inhuman speed as before. You already knew you weren’t going to last very long, already feeling your stomach tighten as you closed your eyes and pulled at your makeshift binds, desperate for something to hold on to.

Minghao noticed this and within seconds your hands were free, allowing you to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him against you. Your nails dug painfully into his shoulders but that only seemed to encourage him as his movement continued and his head fell to your shoulder. 

“You are so perfect,” he moaned out, making you shiver as his breath tickled your skin, “I love you so much, I don’t think I could ever be without you.” His words made your heart swell, but you were too gone to acknowledge them at the moment, more focused on your rapidly approaching release. 

“Hao,” you whined out, “please, I want you to bite me again.” Your words caused his movements to falter a bit, Minghao raising his head to look at you. 

“Darling, are you sure?” 

“Please, I’m so close please bite me again!” your wish was granted as he buried his fangs into the already formed bite mark while picking up his pace again. The combined pain and pleasure had you cumming with a silent scream, holding onto him like his life depended on it. Minghao slowed down his pace a bit to help you ride through your orgasm, licking at your neck until you settled down. You took a second to catch your breath before sitting up, having to pause for a moment as your head was spinning. Minghao tried to push you to lay back down but you stopped him, “You didn’t finish.” 

“Don’t worry about me Angel, I’m more worried about you,” he assured, but you shook your head and pushed him so he was leaning back on his arms. 

“Let me help you, I did say I wanted to taste you.” You leaned down and wrapped your fingers around his length, placing a few experimental kisses on the tip. Minghao tried to protest, telling you that it was fine but his words were cut off when you took him into your mouth. His body tensed and he inhaled sharply as you took as much of him in as possible, careful not to gag as you hollowed out your cheeks and began bobbing your head. You could taste yourself on him, but that quickly faded until all your senses could process was Minghao. The way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way his voice sounded as he moaned out praises and encouragement, the way his body tensed whenever you paused to swipe your tongue over his slit. It was intoxicating and you swore you could stay like this forever. Forever didn’t last very long though, as Minghao grabbed your hair to stop your movements, bucking his hips lightly as he released into your mouth. You couldn’t help but moan at the taste, swallowing as much as you could and licking the rest off of him. Minghao shivered at the overstimulation and quickly pulled you off of him, giving you a quick kiss as a thank you. 

“You really are something,” he commented, moving to get into bed and pulling you under the covers with him. You immediately snuggled into his chest, wrapping your arm around his waist as he moved to play with your hair. “You are okay though right?” he asked after a moment, “I’m worried I may have gone overboard.” You hum softly and snuggle further into him, wanting to be as close to him as possible. His presence was comforting, and you could feel your heart beating through him, almost as if it was his own. Minghao felt it as well, feeling like you were an extension of his being. Someone he never wanted to let go of, and at least for now he didn’t have to. He knew what this meant, but it wasn’t something he could bring himself to think about right now, wanting to savor the moment instead. 

“Hey Hao?” you ask after a moment, “what about that promise you made earlier?”

“Don’t worry about that right now, we’ll talk about it when you’re rested,” he replied. 

“Promise?” 

“I promise.” You yawned softly, allowing your eyes to close as you realized how tired you had become. You didn’t want to fall asleep, worried he would be gone by the time you woke up. However, your fight to stay awake was in vain and you quickly gave in, hugging Minghao tightly and pressing one last kiss to his cheek. 

“I love you Minghao,” you whispered, “I never want to be apart from you again.”

“I love you too darling,” he responded, “and don’t worry, you won’t.” You two would deal with the aftermath of your actions when you woke up. For now you just wanted to enjoy each other's presence for as long as possible. 

Seventeen Taglist: @woo8hao @amethyistheart @exfolitae @lexix001

To be removed please message me.

#the8 #the8 x reader #the8 smut #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #seventeen #xu minghao #minghao fanfic #minghao angst #minghao smut #minghao fluff #the8 angst #the8 fanfic #the8 fluff #vampire au #kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #fluff #angst #smut #seventeen au

[bbobpul]

maybe it's a good thing — x. minghao

NOTE. this is not an email! i will put the series on hold since i don't want it to be rushed and end terribly. i want to give each member justice and make their characters well-written so take this minghao oneshot as a little compensation. not proofread.

PAIRING. artist!the8 x singer!reader

GENRE. hurt/comfort, angst (as usual)

SYNOPSIS. a struggling singer and a talented artist, xu minghao, cross paths every evening at a lively local bar

W/C. 5k

WARNINGS. language alluding to death

messy masterlist/navigation

you stand backstage watching the audience as the shattered glasses, muffled talk, and distant hum of conversation all come together to create a cacophonous melody. as you watch, crowds of people gather in front of the dimly lit stage, the spotlight shining a tantalizing glow on the artists who have graced it with their presence throughout the course of the night.

a close friend had approached you a few nights before asking for help. they scheduled a friday night concert at your town's beloved local bar, and they needed a last-minute performer. not only did the owner of the pub offer you a huge payout, but you also pledged to help out a friend in need.

your heart was racing with a mix of excitement and dread as you found yourself pacing back and forth behind the heavy drapes as the hours went by. being in front of a large audience is thrilling yet nerve-wracking at the same time because you've always felt more at ease in smaller and more intimate settings.

there is an electrifying feeling in the pub, even though you are trying to hide from the audience's probing eyes. vibrations of laughter and cheers fill the room, interspersed with the inevitable accident when bottles of beer shatter on the polished wooden floor. its peculiar scent blend—which perfectly captures the ambiance of this local hangout—combines the rich scent of pub food with the lingering smell of booze.

the faint echoes of the preceding act's music can be heard backstage; each chord has a unique magnitude that has fired up everyone in attendance. there's an indescribable feeling of adrenaline in the air, and as you take a deep breath and get ready to step onto the stage for the night's final act, you know that this will be an unforgettable event no matter how it turns out.

you were placed back in reality when the event organizer tapped your shoulder and whispered, “you’re up next.”

you nodded your head as a response and gripped the strap of your guitar before taking a deep breath. affirmations ran through your head as you walked to the middle of the stage. you sat on the stool, placed your guitar comfortably on your lap, and began to play the first few strokes of the strings that caused the audience to scream and cheer for you.

it was overwhelming for you, to say the least. it’s your first time performing infront of a huge crowd. normally, it would just be you playing at a relative's birthday or some stranger’s funeral but never at a place like this. it was electrifying.

your eyes were trying their hardest to find a familiar face in the room, watching and listening to you as you sung the lyrics of the song you had chosen to perform, but you failed yourself when you realized they were all strangers. it wasn't an issue for you. rather, your gaze fell on this one person, and you began observing him without realizing it. he's not paying attention very closely. unlike other people in the audience, he didn't seem as drawn to the performance on stage; instead, it seemed as like he was living in his own bubble with your voice playing in the background. he was, instead, doodling something on a piece of brown tissue paper.

he held your interest. except for him, everyone else was staring at you. he was enjoying his own time as if he was the only one in the room. of course, you don't think that everyone would be watching you, but there was something about him that made you look at him after each verse and bridge you sang that evening.

you thanked them and said you wanted to see them again another evening as you concluded the three songs you had prepared. when you turned to face his table again, you noticed that the man had already left and that it was vacant and spotless. not a glimpse of the tissue paper he had been sketching on before. as soon as you got off the stool and went back behind the stage, people began to make their way towards the exit as well.

"you did so well!" your friend, seokmin, said, beaming with admiration, as you slung your guitar bag over your shoulder. you glared at him and playfully smacked his arm.

"i was looking for you earlier!" you replied, knitting your eyebrows and pouting when he laughed at your mock anger.

"i was watching you backstage!" he defended himself, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"you know, i was fuming earlier since you were the one who invited me here, and yet you weren't even in the audience," you said, a touch of mock annoyance in your voice.

"okay, don't be mad now. you'll get wrinkles. calm your brows," seokmin teased, his laughter filling the air as you both shared a lighthearted moment after your performance.

"oh, by the way! the owner said he'll send the money directly to your account. he also mentioned giving you a bonus if you come here again next friday. what do you say?" seokmin asked, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes as he looked at you, eagerly awaiting your response.

"sure, why not? i'm free next friday," you replied with a smile, feeling a sense of excitement at the prospect of performing again.

"that's good to hear!" seokmin said, his enthusiasm matching yours.

"you better be in the audience next friday. i was dead nervous earlier," you teased seokmin, trying to hide the lingering nerves from your voice with a playful tone.

"yeah, yeah! you should head home now, hun. there won't be any cabs around past 2 am. i still need to close up the bar, so you should head home first," seokmin urged, showing concern for your safety and well-being after a successful but late-night performance.

you bid your goodbyes to seokmin and stepped outside the bar, the cool night air offering a refreshing contrast to the vibrant energy you had just left behind.

as you stood at the side of the road, it felt as if you could still hear the echoes of the cheers and applause from your earlier performance. your heart continued to race, and the thrill of the moment lingered in the cool night air. you inhaled deeply, the cold breeze providing a soothing contrast to the excitement that still pulsed within you, as you waited for a taxi to pass by and take you home.

the pub was situated in a quiet, almost desolate alley, likely to minimize disturbances to the other residents in the area. unfortunately, this meant that very few vehicles frequented the road, especially at the late hour of 2:30 am. as you stood there, you realized that hailing a taxi might take longer than you had initially thought, adding an extra layer of challenge to your journey home.

you let out a sigh and began to reflect, realizing that this night wasn't as flawless as you had initially imagined it to be. however, there was no pressing need to hurry back home, for your house was a solitary sanctuary. there was no one waiting for you there, as you lived alone, except for the friendly stray cat that you often found nestled beside your bedroom window.

you were startled out of your thoughts as a strong, blinding light suddenly illuminated the alley. blinking away the temporary blindness, you turned to see a sleek, black hellcat redeye not too far from where you stood. the car began to roll slowly in your direction, and the driver honked the horn when it came to a stop in front of you. crouching slightly to look through the window, you were taken aback to see the same guy you had noticed sketching earlier in the evening. the unexpected encounter added another surreal layer to an already eventful night.

"need a ride?" he asked, his words careful and gentle, as if he were making an effort not to come across as too forward or strange. his concern was evident in his tone.

"yeah," you replied, your voice slightly shaky from the chill of the night. "obviously," you added under your breath, feeling the cold seep into your bones, grateful for the unexpected but timely offer of a ride.

“get in, —.” he said, using your stage name to address you with a gentle smile, a touch of familiarity in his demeanor.

"thank you," you said, the gratitude evident in your voice as you fastened your seatbelt.

he hummed in response, starting the car and preparing to drive.

"where to?" he asked, his eyes briefly meeting yours in the rearview mirror.

"oh, 17 apartment complex. it's pretty far from here. i'm sorry," you explained, feeling a twinge of guilt for the inconvenience.

"no, it's totally okay with me. i don't live very far from your building anyways," he reassured you, his tone warm and accommodating. you settled back in your seat, grateful for his understanding and the unexpected company on your way home.

the first few minutes of the ride were filled with a certain awkwardness. he kept himself occupied by humming along to the tune playing on the local radio, his eyes occasionally darting to the road ahead.

“what’s your name?” he asked, breaking the awkward silence.

“i’m —, you?”

“minghao. how old are you, —?”

“i’m 25.”

"oh, i'm a year older than you then," he replied with a friendly smile, a subtle connection forming as you exchanged this small piece of personal information.

the exchange of personal information had a surprising effect, gradually melting the initial awkwardness in the car. minghao's sense of humor emerged, and he started cracking jokes throughout the long drive home. you found yourself enjoying the banter, though you had to remind him to keep his eyes on the road a few times. the conversation flowed so naturally that it almost felt like you had known each other for ages.

curiosity about why he hadn't seemed attentive during your performance earlier crossed your mind, but in the warmth of the moment, with him right beside you on the drive home, the question seemed less pressing. you were content to let the night unfold at its own pace, and you appreciated the newfound camaraderie that had unexpectedly come into your life.

"thanks again!" you said with a warm smile on your face as you stepped out of minghao's car.

"see you again some other time. go inside now. it's cold," he advised, a caring tone in his voice. you nodded in agreement, appreciating his thoughtfulness.

you entered the building and turned back to look once the automatic glass door of the building closed shut. minghao's car was just starting to pull away, disappearing into the night, leaving you with a sense of gratitude for the serendipitous encounter and a newfound friendship that had brightened your evening in the most unexpected way.

your friday evenings fell into a comfortable rhythm, with your performances at the local pub becoming a regular highlight of the week. minghao continued to be a dedicated audience member, offering you a ride home after each show. eventually, your interactions extended beyond the confines of the friday routine, as you both decided to spend time together on days when your schedules allowed. the bond between you grew stronger, fueled by shared laughter, genuine conversations, and a growing sense of companionship that transcended the confines of the local bar and the friday night performances.

over time, you discovered that minghao was not just an art enthusiast but an accomplished artist in his own right. his talents and dedication to his craft impressed you, and it came as a delightful surprise when he confided that he had an upcoming opportunity to showcase his artwork in a renowned gallery in paris next week.

tonight is just another amazing evening for you, and that sentence carries an entirely different meaning now. a few nights ago, you had entered this local pub with a mix of nervousness and the overwhelming sensation of performing in front of a large crowd, all motivated by the prospect of earning some extra money. however, as the weeks turned into months, you found that you had come to love your evenings at the pub.

the owner, recognizing the growing popularity of the pub's live music, had extended the concert nights to include mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. it was no longer just your fridays, but the entire week had become a delightful series of performances and moments of connection with an audience that had grown to appreciate and support your music.

you had grown to relish the thrill of performing in front of an audience, and the peace and fun that followed each of your shows had become something you eagerly anticipated. what once felt like a daunting task had evolved into a cherished part of your life, a testament to the transformative power of shared experiences and the connections formed on those memorable friday nights.

"hey," seokmin's sudden whisper caught you off guard, interrupting your thoughts as you waited for your turn to perform on stage.

you turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "hey! what's wrong with you?" you asked, unable to contain a playful smirk as you lightly smacked his arm.

"i see you have your own personal driver now, huh?" he teased, earning a playful glare from you in return.

"i don't meddle in your romance with the owner of this pub, so mind your own business," you retorted, a hint of sass in your voice, which only made him laugh even more. the lighthearted banter with your friend helped ease the last-minute nerves as you prepared to take the stage once again.

"so... who is he?" seokmin persisted with his curiosity.

"he's just a friend of mine," you replied, a hint of defensiveness in your tone.

seokmin didn't back down. "i'm asking for his name, not who he is to you," he clarified, clearly interested in the details.

“name is minghao, he’s an artist.”

“minghao? he’s here right now?”

“about that, i don’t know if he could come today since he has a flight tomorrow. he needs his rest, you know?”

“flight to where?”

“paris, he has an event to attend.”

“big time. anyway, you need to get going. the previous act just left the stage.”

with seokmin's reminder, you took a deep breath and made your way to the center of the stage, ready to captivate the audience with your performance. as the spotlight shone upon you, you began to sing, the music filling the air, and the crowd's attention shifting to you, for another memorable evening at the local pub.

throughout your performance, you couldn't help but steal glances at the entrance of the pub, hoping to catch a glimpse of minghao walking in. however, as your performance concluded, he was still nowhere to be seen. 

you had already prepared yourself for the likelihood of his absence, but a part of your heart couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. minghao had become a regular part of your friday routine, and his absence meant that you would be heading home alone, missing the comfort of his presence and the familiar company during the drive back.

you concluded your wednesday performance and bid your goodbye to the audience to your friend, seokmin.

as you stood at the side of the road, waiting for a cab that seemed highly unlikely to pass by, a sense of resignation began to settle in. the cold night air seemed to penetrate deeper as you waited patiently, hoping for some stroke of luck to bring a taxi your way.

just when it felt like your patience might wear thin, you couldn't believe your eyes when you saw the unmistakable sight of minghao's black hellcat redeye approaching. the vehicle came to a smooth stop in front of you, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief and gratitude wash over you. 

"i couldn't leave without driving you back home," minghao said with a reassuring smile as you approached the car window. the warmth in his words and the kindness in his eyes instantly put you at ease, and you eagerly hopped into the car, comforted by the knowledge that you wouldn't be braving the chilly night alone. the sense of disappointment that had weighed on you earlier began to dissipate, and you embarked on the drive back home with a grateful heart, appreciating the unexpected friendship that had brightened your life in countless ways.

the night air was crisp, and the streets were nearly deserted as you both continued your journey through the quiet city. minghao's dedication to ensuring you got home safely, despite the early hours and his impending flight, touched you deeply.

"you really shouldn't have. you have a flight to catch, and it's 3 am," you insisted once more, your concern growing for his well-being.

minghao, however, brushed off your worries. "are you kidding me? this is the least i could do for you. i won't be seeing you for a week," he responded with unwavering determination, his eyes briefly leaving the road to meet yours.

"you need to rest, hao," you continued, not wanting him to exhaust himself before his important journey.

"this is rest," he reassured you, turning to look at you once more, his eyes filled with warmth and understanding. the way he looked at you made your heart skip a beat, and you couldn't help but smile in return.

"eyes on the road," you playfully reminded him, ensuring he stayed focused on the task at hand. the bond you had formed over the past weeks was a source of great comfort to both of you, and the journey back home in the early hours of the morning, despite the upcoming separation, felt like a cherished moment of connection.

the dark, quiet streets rolled by as minghao drove you home, and the solitude of the night created a sense of intimacy between you two. his commitment to driving you back, even when he had an early flight to catch, was a testament to the depth of your friendship.

"don't you worry. after i drive you home, i will head straight to the airport and i will sleep there," minghao reiterated, his voice calm and reassuring.

you couldn't help but offer, "are you sure you don't want to have coffee at my house before you head to the airport?" concern for his well-being tugged at your heart, knowing that he was sacrificing his rest to ensure you got home safely.

minghao's smile was both gentle and resolute as he declined your offer. "no need," he replied, "you should sleep as soon as you get home. i'll be fine." his caring demeanor and genuine concern for your comfort and well-being resonated deeply with you, and you nodded in understanding.

"you are home," minghao said gently, drawing you out of your reverie as you continued to stare at him.

"huh?" you responded, momentarily confused.

"we are here," he clarified, gesturing toward your building.

"oh," you murmured, realizing your distraction, and looked to your right to see your familiar apartment building. "well, thank you for the ride, hao. and good luck in paris."

"thank you. good night," minghao replied with a warm smile before you closed the car door behind you.

just like any other evening, minghao didn't leave until he saw you inside the building. the familiar routine and his unwavering consideration were a comforting friend that you had come to rely on, and as you watched his car drive away, you felt a wave of gratitude for his presence in your life.

entering your unit, you felt far from tired. the drive with minghao had been a peaceful interlude in your life, much like any other evening you spent with him. the sense of comfort and contentment that his presence brought was a cherished part of your routine, a bright spot in your week that had transformed your evenings into moments of warmth, friendship, and music. you couldn't help but reflect on how, from a chance meeting at the local pub, a beautiful friendship had blossomed, filling your life with unexpected joy and connection.

the morning you woke up, it was an ordinary thursday. it began just like any other day, with your familiar routine of going on a peaceful walk, visiting your favorite bakery, and then returning to your apartment to spend the day in peaceful solitude. everything seemed as it usually was.

however, a subtle sense of unease crept in when you realized there was no "good morning" text from minghao. at first, you found it strange, but then it dawned on you that he had a flight today. he always turned his phone to airplane mode during flights, and that was why the expected message was missing. 

despite knowing the reason, a slight feeling of emptiness lingered, reminding you of the importance of this daily interaction with your friend. it was a small but significant absence, a reminder of how much minghao had become a part of your daily life, even when he was miles away.

as the hours passed by, you found yourself preoccupied with various activities, but a part of your mind remained fixated on the absence of minghao's messages. then, finally, you noticed his name appearing in your notifications. a wave of relief washed over you, accompanied by a sense of anticipation as you eagerly opened the message, hoping for some news or even a brief update about his journey.

the moment you saw minghao's name appear in your notifications, a surge of joy washed over you, and you couldn't help but express your elation. silently, you let out a muffled scream, as if you were a teenager who had just received a message from their crush. the feeling was overwhelming, and you found yourself rolling on your bed, a giddy smile on your face, relishing the simple yet profound joy of seeing his message.

it was as if the day had suddenly transformed from ordinary to extraordinary, all because of a few lines of text from minghao. the anticipation of hearing from him and the reassurance that he was safely on the other side of the flight were like a warm embrace, filling your heart with a sense of comfort and connection. it was moments like these that made you truly appreciate the friendship you shared and the special place minghao had carved out in your daily life.

“this is a scheduled text. if you received this, i have already landed in paris. i love you, take care.” the message read.

as you read the message from minghao, the words "i love you" leapt out, catching you off guard and leaving you momentarily stunned. the audacity of his heartfelt expression, conveyed through a scheduled text, brought forth a mix of emotions. there was a sense of disbelief at the timing and manner of his declaration, tinged with a hint of annoyance at his boldness to express such sentiments from afar.

yet, despite these conflicting emotions, a warm and giddy feeling enveloped you. his words had a way of transcending the distance between you, bridging the gap created by the physical miles. minghao's unexpected proclamation served as a reminder of the deep bond you shared, one that had blossomed from the simple moments and shared experiences, transforming into a connection that was as sincere as it was unexpected.

just as you were processing minghao's heartfelt message, your phone began to ring, and you were taken completely by surprise when you saw the caller's name – the owner of the pub. this unexpected call brought forth a rush of questions and curiosity, leaving you to wonder what could have prompted this sudden and surprising contact from your boss, joshua hong.

“seokmin said you are friends with minghao. you might want to come to yoon medical center.”

“what?”

the owner's cryptic words and the mention of minghao's name left you in a state of bewilderment. it was as if the ground had shifted beneath your feet, and you were struggling to comprehend the gravity of the situation. what had happened to minghao? why were you being summoned to the medical center? the flood of questions raced through your mind, each one more unsettling than the last.

as you rushed to the yoon medical center, the world seemed to blur around you. the streets and buildings became a mere backdrop to your racing thoughts, all focused on minghao's well-being. you couldn't help but replay your last moments with him in your mind, the excitement of his safe arrival in paris now overshadowed by the nagging uncertainty of his current condition. the bond you had shared with him had taken root in your heart, and the fear of losing it, even for a moment, was almost too much to bear.

when you arrived at the medical center, the reality of the situation hit you with full force. the bustling of medical personnel, the hushed conversations, and the sterile scent of the hospital environment all added to the growing sense of dread that clenched at your chest. you couldn't help but wonder what had transpired, and as you made your way through the unfamiliar corridors, the suspense and anxiety intensified, a heavy weight on your shoulders that seemed to grow with every step you took.

the owner of the pub, joshua, explained the grim situation after a few moments of somber silence. "he never made it to the airport," he began, his voice heavy with sorrow. "a drunk driver hit him on the road not too far from your apartment, and doctor yoon said he didn't make it alive at the hospital as there was too much bleeding."

the words hit you like a tidal wave, and your world seemed to shatter in an instant. the shock and disbelief washed over you, leaving you struggling to process the devastating news. minghao, your friend and confidant, who had brightened your evenings and shared in your daily routine, was gone, a victim of a tragic accident that had torn him away from your life.

tears welled up in your eyes, and the weight of grief settled on your heart. the bond you had shared with minghao had grown deeper and more meaningful with each passing day, and now, you were left grappling with the harsh reality of his sudden and untimely departure. the sense of loss was overwhelming, and you couldn't help but feel a profound emptiness in the absence of your friend and the simple yet cherished moments you had shared.

joshua's words resonated deeply, and he continued, "he was also my friend. when he found out about his trip to paris, he told me to give this to you a day before his flight so you'd have something to talk about."

in his hands, joshua held out a piece of brown tissue paper, and as you accepted it, you were met with a moving sight. it was the same brown tissue paper that minghao had been sketching on that evening. the image portrayed you, sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage, your guitar in hand, captured with intricate detail. it dawned on you that he had been watching you that very evening, his artistic portrayal a testament to the shared moments you had on that stage.

as you gazed at the drawing, a mixture of emotions washed over you. it was a beautiful and poignant memento that encapsulated minghao's presence in your life. 

the world became a blur that thursday. joshua insisted on driving you home, a gesture of comfort and support, which you declined. you felt the need to be alone, to process the shock and grief in solitude.

he also suggested that you didn't have to perform on friday, understanding the emotional toll of the recent events. however, you firmly declined that offer as well. performing at the local pub on friday was not just about money; it was your connection to minghao, a way to honor his memory, and a source of solace in your time of loss. it was your lifeline, and you couldn't bear the thought of letting it go, even in the face of such profound sadness.

the days ahead held uncertainty, but the routine of the pub, the music, and the memories of your time with minghao were the anchors that would help you navigate the turbulent seas of grief.

joshua and seokmin stood by your side, offering their support and presence as you navigated the difficult hours following the heart-wrenching news about minghao. their unwavering companionship served as a source of comfort during a time of profound grief.

the following evening, you found yourself back at the local pub, a place where all your cherished memories of minghao had gathered. the stage, the familiar audience, and the music had always been your sanctuary, and it was there that you sought solace and a way to honor your friend's memory.

stepping into the center of the stage, you began to sing, your voice laced with emotions that ran deep. the lyrics spoke of your sorrow, and you poured your heart into the song. the audience may not have been aware of the tragedy you were enduring, but there was an unusual silence that enveloped the room, as if they could sense the heaviness in your voice.

“i’m singing at a funeral tomorrow..

for a kid a year older than me.”

as you continued to sing, the weight of your emotions became almost unbearable. you felt a disconnection from the world, a profound sense of loss that threatened to consume you.

“jesus christ, i’m so blue all the time

and that’s just how i feel

always have and always will

always have and always will.”

grateful for the concealing embrace of the heavy red curtains, you completed the song, your spirit broken but your determination to carry on as strong as ever. the local pub had always been a place that carries peace, but now it cradles your insurmountable grief, maybe it's a good thing that you decided to perform this friday because on this night, it served as a poignant tribute to a friend whose memory would forever echo in the music and the moments you shared.

LOL advance happy birthday minghao

#minghao #minghao x reader #minghao x you #minghao angst #minghao imagines #the8 x reader #the8 x you #the8 angst #seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #seventeen x you #seventeen x y/n #bbobpul #seo myungho #myungho x reader #Spotify #xu minghao x reader #xu minghao angst #svt x reader #svt angst #svt fluff #svt x you #xu minghao fluff

[shuaraes]

we shouldn’t have ended like this | x.mh

- leave your message after the beep

oneshot | 1.3k | exes! au | angst

it’s three am and xu minghao has never felt more lonely in life. drunk on melancholy and emptiness, he ruminates on your relationship and regrets the way you both had ended. even though it’s late at night, minghao tries to rewrite his wrongdoings because deep down he knows a part of you still loves him.

~ paring . xu minghao x gender-neutral!reader

~ content . exes (to lovers???)! au, non idol! au, miscommunication- no even lack of communication,

~ tw . mentions of alcohol, vague mentions of sex

~ song rec . only ones we know - arctic monkeys

~ author’s note . the idea for this was adapted from some of my poetry. my prose is still a bit rusty but i hope this is decent enough! happy christmas to those who celebrate, and to those who don’t hope you have a great day, happy reading! 🫶

MINGHAO’S BED IS EMPTY.

It has been for the past year, yet he can’t wrap his head around it. He lies down on the navy sheets of his queen-sized bed and reaches out to the other side. For some reason he expects it to be warm to the touch: he is met with only coolness. Not cool in the way a sip of water after a mint is or the rush of the winter wind not blocked by fabric. The coolness is like a ghost: the phantom of you that haunts every part of his dwelling.

The walls mourn for your presence, whispering your name, muted pleas into Minghao’s ear. Your name creeps up on him when he least expects it, after the two month-mark, he gave up trying to push you out. ‘It shouldn’t have ended like this,’ the walls call out to him. ‘We shouldn’t have ended like this,’ your last words to him. It shouldn’t have ended like this.

If Minghao squints hard enough, he can still see the imprint of your body, the permanent dent in the mattress where you used to lie. Minghao tries to pretend that just minutes ago, you were engulfed in his sheets, him engulfed in you. He waits for you to fill the dent in the mattress, to mend the hole in his heart.

But you don’t come. And he is alone.

Minghao turns over to face the celling, his jet-black hair falling on his pillow around his head like a halo. His fan spins like a vinyl on a record player from the 60’s. In his head, it’s playing your favourite song. He hums along to the lyrics, you always said he had a good singing voice. This thought almost breaks him.

You broke up with Minghao because you thought you could not love him enough, not knowing your mere presence was more than enough for him. If you were a baby flame, he was a pyromaniac, hand outstretched ready to be burnt. But when it got hard you pushed him away to protect his own feelings, so he became distant and pushed you out. It came to a point where Minghao felt it was like living with a stranger.

When you proposed a breakup, Minghao wasn’t surprised, and he didn’t act like he was either. He stayed deathly silent as you spoke, staring into his mug of tea that had long gone cold. “Fine.” He said as he looked into brown void of his cup (if he looked you in the eye, he would have broke). But with your closing words he knew it was a mistake, you still loved him (he will forever love you). It shouldn’t have ended like this, yet Minghao did nothing to prevent it.

Even after a year, Minghao wonders why he didn’t fight harder. Maybe it’s because, subconsciously, he knew you were too good for him. You deserved someone less cowardly, someone who would never let you go like a children’s balloon, would never let you go so easily. Yet nothing can stop the green-eyed monster of jealousy, waltzing around in her emerald ball gown whenever he hears about you with someone else. Your shared friends give him updates on how you’re doing, but when someone else is mentioned romantically, he shuts out. Trying to piece together why it wasn’t him instead.

Selfishness is a sin - he knows that - but he can’t help from wanting you all to himself. So, he tries to have you in any way he can. He sleeps with your favourite blanket, he washes his clothes with your favourite brand of detergent and in the winter, by the heater, he warms a pair of your house slippers that you never remembered to collect. He searches for you in the bodies of others, the dips in their collarbones and curves of their spines, but of course they cannot compare to you. No one does. If these hook ups amounted to even 1% of what Minghao feels for you, then he wouldn’t complain. But they don’t.

Minghao misses you.

In life, Minghao believes that people only get one chance at true love. He’s scared that he’s used all his luck up on you.

The loss of you gnaws away at him. It wains away at his resolve and destroys any hope for a life away from you. A slow dull pain, it was always in the back of his mind: inescapable though manageable. Minghao didn’t know what was different about tonight, but all he knows is that he has never felt the same about anyone else.

The past kills him. It strangles him, leaving him paralysed with no choice but to face his mistakes. His love for you kills him inside out. It eats away at his psyche until all that is left of him are his feelings for you. It’s three am and all that remains of him is you.

It has always been you.

Fuck it, he picks up his phone off his nightstand and dials your number. Minghao knows he’s not thinking straight, but if he doesn’t at least try to reach you, he will resent himself until the day he dies. The line starts to ring and Minghao holds the phone to his ear with bated breath and clammy hands. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears pounding like a wooden mallet while he waited.

After what felt like eons, the line goes to voicemail. Of course, it did, it’s three am. Minghao feels stupid for thinking you’d pick up. The automated voice reads out the predetermined script to tell him that you can’t answer the phone the right now. It then asks to leave a message if desired. Minghao knows he shouldn’t, he doesn’t care, he loves you.

- Leave your message after the beep - “Hey, it’s Minghao” his voice wavers, it’s obvious he’s nervous. “Call me when you get this.”

Minghao presses the keypad to end the voice message, yet he feels empty. This isn’t closure, this isn’t what he needs. With this alone, in the morning, you’ll probably delete the message and go on with your life.

Minghao is tired of pretending to be rational, hiding his feelings behind a masquerade of poise and nonchalance. He’s going insane because of you, and he needs to let you know, you need to know how much he loves you.

He left another voicemail.

- Leave your message after the beep - “Y/N, I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t blame you. A year of no contact and you get a call from me out of the blue, but for once I’m begging, give me a chance. Listen, I love you. I’ve loved you since the day we first met, since the day we broke up and i think i’m going to love you every day until I die. I don’t think i let it show but you were my endgame, after you i don’t want to love anyone else,”

Minghao could feel himself rambling, his words tumbling from his lips uncontrollably. His heart is a spilled glass of milk, all his soul on display for your critique. He wants to stop himself from speaking but he can’t, so he continues,

“Letting you go so easily was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. I should’ve fought for you, and I know it may be too late but I’m doing it now.

Tomorrow let me take you out to dinner, we can dress up nice and get drunk off our heads. Then I’ll order us a taxi back to yours or mine I don’t mind, then we’ll slow dance to that one jazz album you like, and I’ll promise to never push you away. Things won’t be perfect, and we both have a lot to work on, but I don’t care. Everything is perfect enough for me as long as you're by my side. And before you say I’m drunk, trust me I’m not, I’m a bit sleepy but that doesn’t change a thing. I love you so much Y/N.”

Minghao cuts the phone down and the screen fades to his lock screen, a candid photo of you from a year ago that he refused to change. He places his phone on his heart (your home) and falls asleep waiting for it to ring.

#seventeen angst #seventeen x reader #seventeen oneshot #seventeen drabble #seventeen fanfic #svt angst #svt x reader #svt oneshot #the8 #xu minghao #minghao x reader #minghao angst #minghao fluff #minghao oneshot #the8 angst #the8 fluff #the8 x reader #the8 oneshot #both reader and minghao are low-key pricks in this lmao

[yoonzinuhh]

last dance,last chance — minghao

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : minghao x reader

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : fluff,angsty

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : talks about world ending

𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 : this is purely fiction. i’ve inspired this from my current favourite song ‘ima — even if the world ends tomorrow’ also happy hao day <3

standing in your balcony,eyes glistening as the cold breeze hits you,seeing the roads that were always filled with people now be empty.

a warm hand holds you close from behind. you smile leaning onto minghao as he pecks your cheeks.

“i want to do something..one last time.”

one last time. yes. the world apparently is ending tomorrow. as much as you want to laugh at this,it is. what once was a city filled with loud happiness,kids running around,night lights is now empty because of the fear of ending. and to you,what mattered the most was the guy behind you. you’ve been with minghao all your life. from your childhood neighbour to your first kiss to your now everything,he was always there. minghao was an optimistic person. trying to find the good in everything while you were someone who always had something or the other to worry about. and to be honest that made you both feel more made for each other. and to see the world end with your whole world,him,was what could make this thing a little better. because all the worries you had for future is now nothing.

“come with me” he leads you to the living room while turning on your favourite song. the song that has no slow dance melody but still made you both dance slow.

putting his hands onto your waist and your hands to his shoulder,pulling you little closer,close enough to feel his warmth.

letting your body move with the song

“even if the world ends tomorrow ” he chuckles

“i say this all the time but this time this is happening for real..wow” he breathes out as tears prickle in your eyes and starts flowing.

“y/n- i really can’t believe that it’s happening right now and wow- damn like if the world doesn’t actually end tomorrow please don’t tease me..okay” says with a laugh.

kissing your tears off your cheeks,resting his forehead on yours without breaking the eye contact he stays still now.

“all these years that i’ve spent with you,that’s technically my whole life but yeah. all these years you’ve been someone who i knew i had. you’ve seen me. you know me. and you had me. from the first time i knew this wasn’t a silly crush to now when i kiss you..you never stopped giving me butterflies. you’ve seen my worsts and bests and i’m so glad that i let you because..because if it weren’t you..i probably would’ve not been me..you know that. and i’m so glad that i fell in love with you y/n..i’m so glad that i get to spend our last moments together..i really mean this..you’re the love of my life. and i never will regret this.”

you weren’t amazing at showing your emotions or good with words while he was the polar opposite to you. he was never scared to show or tell how much he loved you,cry with you,laugh with you. he is the love of your life,too.

all these words from him made you lose it. you sob,making all sorts of noises as your knee feels weak you just lean onto him.

sobs and tears growing,you put your head onto his shoulder,hugging him with your trembling hands as he pulls you closer also crying against your head,pecking your hair.

5 minutes,10 minutes. god knows how long. you’ve been crying together with no words shared.

you slowly pull away brushing your lips and whispering a “i love you” against his lips. pulling him closer by his neck deepening the kiss. it was slow. love breaths,nose bumps,breaks to stare each other.

this moment. it feels so intimate. love filled the air,so did the sadness.

“even if the world ends tomorrow” he says again onto your lips.

you smile weakly nodding.

“even if it ends”

you end your night,cuddled up against each other. nothing but silence and your heart beats. the world does end tomorrow,but atleast with him.

tags : @aaniag

#seventeen #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt fanfic #svt fluff #the8 #seventeen the8 #minghao #seventeen minghao #svt the8 #svt minghao #svt angst #seventeen angst #minghao angst #the8 angst #minghao fluff #the8 fluff

[seoulcheonsa]

Habit

Xu Minghao (SVT) as Theodore x fem!reader Tags: vampire!, a little angst, some crack, a bit of fluff, implied smut (MDNI! PLEASE!) WC: 2.1k Warnings: just implied smut, a lot of cursing, and mentions of alcohol. (lmk if i missed anyth !)

Her phone rang, showing an all too familiar sequence of numbers. She should have blocked him, honestly; but for some reason there’s always something that holds her back. How could she, when even if she deleted his contact, she knows his number by heart? So for the third time that week, she picked up.

“What do you want Theodore?” she huffed out.

“Theodore?” he scoffed, “that’s not my name, I’m baby”

“Cut the crap, Theo. Are you drunk again?”

“I miss you, baby.” At that, she felt her resolve falter. Call her weak, but she missed Theo too. There’s no doubt she still loved the asshole, but she had to keep reminding herself that there was a reason why she left him. He can’t seem to make his mind up every time she brings up the issue of their relationship. It’s always ��I want you” but he follows up with “why can’t we be happy just like this?”

Theodore who always pulls up in his full stereotypical leather jacket and muscle car. Theodore who opens doors for her, always coming with flowers he picked up on the way over, but then disappears for days at a time. Theodore who runs away at any semblance of a demand for his vulnerability. He has roamed this earth for a century, but under no circumstance did any of his lovers ask for his entirety. He thought he picked them well. And he knows he could just look for someone else to pursue, someone who would never challenge the boundaries he set. However, for reasons he can’t admit even to himself, he couldn’t stay away.

Every night since she decided to leave, he gets drunk out of his mind and calls. And every time he calls, she answers. Maybe it’s out of pity, out of love, or out of habit; but she does. Maybe she’s hoping that one of these nights, he’ll decide that they want the same thing out of the push-and-pull they’ve been at for months.

For months, Theodore was the most thoughtful boyfriend-non-boyfriend. Dates were always planned out, and there was no way he would allow her to go to their dates by herself. He knew she was bad with directions, and what type of lover would he be if he let her get lost? In the same way, she prided herself on getting to know all of Theo’s habits without him pointing anything out. She knew he preferred hot pots over greasy food, that he always has a hand on her unconsciously, and that he shut her out whenever she asked about his past or life in general.

“Talk to me when you’re sober, Theo,” she rolled her eyes, knowing he can’t see it.

“I know you’re rolling your eyes. I miss making them roll when you’re under me.”

“Fuck off.”

She ended the call and placed her phone face down on her desk, not forgetting to set it on silent. Which is futile anyway, because she can’t stand not going through all the notifications on her phone at once, or else she’ll forget all about it.

Theo sighed and pocketed his phone, stumbling into the back seat of his car. Looking around, he counts all the pieces of her that she left in his beloved car, things he never got rid of. There were two little, silly looking baby dolls that she placed in the cup holder near the gear stick that prevented him from having and leaving more than one drink in the car; hair ties around the gear stick; a brush, a tube of hand cream, and a pair of socks in his glove compartment that he never takes out just in case; a blanket and pillow in the backseat; and a bunch of stickers that she stuck on the visor of the passenger seat’s side. He laughed at himself, not believing he let her vandalize his car. What was a few stickers on his car, he could just buy a new one right? Sure, that’s why. But he could never rationalize why he kept around socks in his car and the very pillow plushie that he’s lying on in his drunken state. Must be out of habit.

He sent a few more texts to her before falling asleep to the scent of her hair left on the pillow.

It took her half an hour of tossing and turning before giving up on sleep entirely. Sleep just wouldn’t come when thoughts of Theo plagued her mind, and it didn’t help that he just laid his heart out over text and then stopped replying after all of that. She knew he was shitfaced drunk, there were out of character typos all over his script, but was it so bad to believe that drunk words were sober thoughts? Maybe so.

After grabbing a hoodie, one of his, she stepped out into the dead of night, deciding that maybe a walk would help her rid her mind of thoughts. This idea was cut short when she spotted a black Maserati outside her apartment building. She knew whose it was, there was no denying that.

Theo heard knocks outside his car window, taking him out of his sleep. Disoriented, he glanced around, realizing that he had fallen asleep in his car again. He fell asleep in his car, outside her apartment, again. It’s become routine at this point, like he’s still looking for her presence even in his drunken stupor.

He opened the door and stepped out the car to face her, finally. She was glaring up at him, her arms crossed. Even in that state, under her gaze, he cracked out into a silly grin.

“You’re so pretty,” he reached out to touch her hair, which she deflected with her arm. This didn’t break his smile, but instead made him want to provoke her even more.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I told you I missed you, wanted to see your pretty face.”

“You’re insufferable,” she shook her head and rolled her eyes at him, “go home, Theo.”

“I thought you hated me driving drunk?”

“You seem perfectly fine now, piss off.”

He attempted to wrap his arms around her slowly, testing the waters. This time she didn’t try to push him off, making him smirk and more confidently pulled her closer to him.

“Didn’t you miss me?” he pouted playfully “I missed you so much, I almost died.”

“Wish you would,” she narrowed her eyes as him, making him chuckle.

“C’mon, baby. Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

She decided it was useless to try and drive him away, and deep down, she knew she didn’t want to anyway. So, with a resigned tut, she exhaled and motioned for him to follow her into the apartment. Luckily for her, he refrained from touching her at all on the way up to her door. But this was short-lived, because as soon as she shut the door, he was on her again. He snaked his arms around her waist and hooked his chin on her shoulder, trapping her against the door.

“What do you think you’re doing, Theo?”

“I told you, that’s not my name.”

“And I told you, don’t show yourself to me unless you’re ready for a relationship.”

“I promise, we’ll talk more about that later,” he pressed himself closer to her, “I think there are more.. pressing matters at this moment.” He trailed off, pressing his lips on her neck gently, waiting for her to react. When she didn’t, he decided to ask for her consent.

“We can stop here, baby,” he started to loosen his arms around her and distanced his face from the crevice of her neck. Fully expecting her to pull away, she turned around and grabbed the back of his head to drag him into a kiss. Shocked, his eyes widened; but before he could get carried away, he broke away and waited for her to open her eyes.

“I need you to tell me you want this, too.” She ignored him and tried to lean in for another kiss, but his hands were firm on her waist, preventing her from advancing any further. She rolled her eyes again and tried to pull him back.

“Theo, just fucking kiss me.”

“Not until you use your words.”

“Theo, I need you to fuck me right now or I’m kicking you out.” At that, he smirked and met her lips with a grip on the back of her neck.

The two lay in the darkness of her room, the only light coming from a small moon lamp on her desk. He shifted her to pull her back flush against his chest, his arms around her waist and his hand entwined with hers on her chest. No one was speaking, no one daring to break the silence made heavy by the elephant in the room. Theo knew that at one point, he was going to have to talk. He was well aware of the fact that he would have to admit to himself, and to her, the unspoken fact that there was a glaring reason why he couldn’t just stay away long enough to let her move on from him. Eventually, he started trailing kisses on her shoulders to rouse her from her silence.

“Are you finally going to talk?” she asked, resignation evident in her voice, and something tells Theo that if he fucks up this time, it’ll be the last. He hummed in affirmation and kept his grip tight on her, afraid that she’d run away. Afraid that she’d look at him and see right through him.

“Talk.”

“It’s not you-“

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Theo.” He laughed, teasing even in the worst times.

“I know, I’m sorry, baby. I just can’t let you go, okay?”

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he said, earning him a slap on the arm.

“Okay okay, shit. I’ve just never done this before; I’ve never felt so drawn to someone like this before. I always want, no, need you around me. I don’t know what the fuck you did to me, but no one could ever do it for me anymore after you.”

“I’ve tried meeting other people; I thought I could get over you. But here we are,”

“Here you are.”

“Yeah, here I am, again. I don’t know, I’m rambling. What I’m trying to say is I have feelings for you I can’t explain, and it makes me want to do things for you, risk things for you that I never have before.”

“Theo, just tell me you love me and go,” she tried to turn and look at his face, but his hold on her remained tight. She felt him hide his face on her shoulder, his hand in hers shaking. He was scared, but she was too. They’ve hurt each other throughout the months they’ve been fooling around, there were issues to talk about and unpack. But at this moment, that didn’t matter, because all she wanted to know was if he was as willing as she was to go through that with her. She didn’t want to risk it all, just for him to run again.

“Would you love me through my bullshit?” he whispered, ever crass with his words.

“Theo, if it isn’t obvious with me giving you chance after chance,” she began, using his words from earlier, “I already do.”

He let out a heavy sigh, shutting his eyes tight, as if bracing himself for an impact that will never come. Theo will never understand why she was so willing to keep letting him into her life. And he will never understand why it was so hard for him, but she makes him want to do it anyway. So, for the first time in his immortal life, he says,

“I love you. Let’s do this thing.”

“Took you long enough, and you won’t even fucking ask me to be your girlfriend outright?” she scoffed, turning around to finally look at him, seeing his eyes closed like a child.

“Look at me, Theo,” she put her palm against his cheek, willing him to open his eyes. One eye after the other, he gazed into her eyes.

“This better be fucking for real this time.”

“It is, I promise. Be my girlfriend, I’ll do anything you want,” he nodded profusely, recognizing his last chance.

“You’re a bad habit, you know that?”

“Thank god you’re not getting rid of me then.” She breathed out a laugh, burying her face in his neck. Theo smiled into her hair, placing a hand on the back of her head, and thanking his lucky stars that he got it right this time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi again hhh 2 drops in a week? is this really me???? jk but this is long overdue if i'm being honest. this is for my friend who just defended her research paper and celebrated her birthday, too. hope u like it! also this is my first time having like,,,mature themes so i hope it's not too bad!!!

also !! not beta read nor proofread hehe wrote this to habit by svt, love that song

#minghao #the8 #the8 fluff #the8 angst #the8 smut #svt fluff #svt #svt smut #svt angst #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #xu minghao #xu minghao fluff #xu minghao smut #xu minghao angst