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#theadhdfeeling
thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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You know what's fucked up?
We're forced to learn a second language in school. French, Spanish, whatever.
But in most schools...
Learning your country's native sign language is not mandatory.
This is not okay!
D/deaf people aren't only ones who would benefit from this. Hard-of-hearing or Hearing Impaired people, CODA or those in the Deaf community who's first language is signed, those with Auditory Processing Disorders, those with verbal disabilities, and many many others NEED this to be more widely taught.
We can't force them to speak our language, but we are privileged enough that we can learn theirs. And rejecting this is an insult. It's ableist.
Auditory and verbal disorders also sometimes are comorbid with other disorders and disabilities such as Autism and ADHD.
But if you want a more selfish excuse to learn, consider this:
You can communicate in loud environments
You can communicate in places you're expected to remain quiet
You can communicate under water
You can communicate across a room without having to yell
You broaden your friendship circle by being more inclusive
It's hecking fun to learn!
More job opportunities are available to you
Sign language needs to be taught in schools. Period.
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friend: *leaves me on read*
my rsd: they hate you. you're annoying them. shut up no one cares about you just deactivate your account already
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thatadhdfeel · 7 years
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theadhdfeel when you forget what you were going to submit
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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To whomever is currently reading this:
Don't forget about your drink that's slightly outside of your line of sight
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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"I procrastinate all the time too!"
For someone with ADHD, procrastination isn't always what you think it is.
Many times it's something we WANT to see the results of, or something know we NEED to do.
Hate the feeling of greasy hair? Love the feeling of a warm shower? We still struggle to take that shower no matter how much we want it.
And we don't just procrastinate with boring projects like house cleaning or laundry.
We will procrastinate peeing. Eating. Moving out of an uncomfortable position.
Executive dysfunction isn't a choice, it isn't just us being lazy, it's a struggle, and it's not us just putting something off until later because we can.
During hyperfocusing, our nervous system doesn't even signal to our brains that we need to do those things. So we don't. But boy do we feel the effects of it after! Usually pain....
And many times we fail to connect a feeling to a solution. For example, we can be hungry, but it doesn't come to mind that eating food will solve that hunger.
Our procrastination is not always what you think it is.
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thatadhdfeeling · 2 years
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ADHD superpower:
I can do magic tricks
I shall now turn around
Abracadabra!
That thing there? It disappeared
Not only do I no longer see it, I no longer think of it
It has gone from existence
I am a magician!
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thatadhdfeeling · 2 years
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Them: *Says something*
Me: *Responds appropriately*
Them: Did you hear what I said?
Me: Yes
Them: Can you repeat back to me what I said?
Me: ................ No.
My brain knows which facial expressions fit, which yes or no responses could fit, and can even continue the conversation briefly, but it can't always take in the actual words being said well enough to consciously process them.
I'm sorry if you have to repeat yourself many times for me. Thank you for checking to see if I really did understand.
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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Let's talk about:
Choice Paralysis
Choice paralysis is struggling to make a decision
This can be seen as a symptom of many disorders. Anxiety, and all disorders that come with anxiety. Depression. ADHD. Autism. BPD. And more.
ADHD also comes with the struggle to understand object permanence. We get the concept, we know that logically what we don't see still exists, but working memory is run by executive functioning, a major thing that those with ADHD struggle with. When our attention is taken away from a hidden object, that object ceases to exist. This is why we forget what is put in drawers or cupboards. Why we forget to text a person first. Why when we tidy up and find something we haven't seen for a while, we go "Oh I remember this!" and sit and play with it for half an hour.
Okay, that might just be the distracted, difficultly regulating attention part of ADHD....
When we are asked to chose something such as "What would you like for dinner", it is incredibly difficult to make that choice.
Are you annoyed when your friends or partners say "I don't know, whatever is fine" and then reject your suggestion? They probably aren't just doing that to be a brat.
When given a choice with infinite (or feels like it) possibilities, it's very difficult for us to make a decision. The options aren't right in front of us. Object permanence gets in the way.
How can you help?
Give us a list of things to choose from. Now we can visualize our options and it's far easier to pick one. It's like me asking you what colour I should paint my nails today. You don't know what colours I own, so how could you possibly choose? I need to give you a list of (over 300) choices.
(I recently threw out 100 bottles so 300+ is pretty good for me. Hush, I have a passion.)
Another way to help, and to help ourselves, is to make things visible. Use shelves and pinboards. Hang clothes up. Use a whiteboard. If we can see it, we know what we have to work with.
Sometimes our anxiety gets in the way, and even though we have options to choose from, even if it's just 2, we still struggle to make that decision. What if it's not the option you would have picked? What if you wanted the other one and you're too nice to tell us? Even if you don't mind, you still may have had a preference. With ADHD and anxiety, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria can make us feel as though us making the wrong decision can cause you to like us as a person less, and consequently, we've hurt our relationship, potentially for good. It may sound extreme, but that's RSD for you.
How can you help?
Make the decision for us. Seriously. Please. Understand that it's not our fault, reassure us that we're still very loved by you, and make that decision so we don't have to. If we really really don't like that choice, we will tell you. This is where the "Anything is fine.... Except that" comes in. Please be patient. We're trying to be honest, as well as struggling to choose.
And sometimes, we really don't know what do decide. A or B. No idea. Can't choose. Really can't choose. Even if it only affects us and social pressure isn't involved.
How can you help?
Make the decision for us. But this time, we can tell if we are excited or disappointed by your choice. Your decision shows us what we really wanted this whole time. And if that doesn't work, well thank you for making the decision for us.
Choice paralysis isn't something we do to annoy you or get attention. It's not something we do to seem cute and quirky. It's a real, and at times embarrassing, struggle that can increase our anxiety. Please be patient and please ask us what you'd like us to do. Whether that's give us options or make the decision for us.
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thatadhdfeeling · 2 years
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To my fellow neurodivergent warriors: Is today a day you can't do anything?
Some days are harder than others. Some days our executive functioning abilities are at rock bottom and we struggle. It's hard, we have no motivation, we can't focus on what we need to, we can't get up, we can't do the thing...
We just...
Can't.
During these times, do you sit there and think "I can do this, it's easy, just do it. Go! Move!"
Stop.
It's okay.
You are neurodivergent. You are not a failure.
Society isn't built for brains like ours. We think and act differently and sometimes we will struggle to do even the basic of tasks. And that is okay.
It is okay to have an unproductive day. Tomorrow might be better. Just because you could do it yesterday, doesn't mean you can do it today. But that also means that just because you can't do it today, it doesn't mean you won't be able to tomorrow.
It's more encouraging to accept that you will have days of severe executive dysfunction than to tell yourself to just do it, then fail. Don't set yourself impossible standards. So what if you can't do that thing today? Your brain is amazing and can do so many things other brains can't.
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid." -Albert Einstein
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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Sometimes a task can feel very overwhelming to someone who's neurodivergent.
To a neurotypical brain, it might be 3 steps.
To a neurodivergent one, it might be 15.
Let's make a cup of coffee, Keurig style!
Neurotypical:
Fill water dispenser
Put mug on the little tray
Insert pod of choice
Select size and press start
Wait
Remove old pod and enjoy your coffee
My ADHD brain:
Lift dispenser off machine
Open lid
Turn on tap
Fill dispenser
Turn off tap
Put lid back on
Put dispenser back on machine
Lift lid to pod section
Remove old pod that you forgot to take out last time
Open cupboard
Struggle to choose a flavour
Eventually pick up pod
Put pod in machine
Close lid to pod section
Struggle to choose a mug
Eventually pick up mug and put on the little tray
Select a size and press start
Wait. And get distracted and forget you're making coffee at all.
If you come back to it, take mug from machine, forget to remove and throw out the used pod
Open microwave door
Place now cold mug of coffee in microwave
Close door
Select time and press start
Wait. And get distracted.
Sometimes I get to drink the coffee, but 2/3 of the time it's because I'm reminded by someone else that I have it. And then I still forget to finish it because unless I'm actively holding the mug, I don't remember it's even there.
Many times the list of steps is so long and overwhelming I decide not to even try. And this is just making coffee! Imagine the executive dysfunction struggle when it comes to other tasks.
Just because it's so easy for you that you barely think about it, doesn't mean it's not overwhelming and difficult for someone else.
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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Executive dysfunction is like trying to operate a really old computer.
You click to open a new browser window, but it's so slow nothing happens. So you click it again. Nothing. Click. Click click click. Click click click click click click click.
One of two things then happen:
The whole computer crashes from trying too hard and not only have you not opened a new window, all the other ones have shut down as well
All of a sudden many many new windows fill the screen and you didn't mean to do that, you were just being impatient. That's too many windows! Please stop! How do I close them all?
Not functioning entirely anymore vs. Procrastinating with multiple distractions to avoid the initial task
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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The differences between HYPERFOCUSING and HYPERFIXATING
Tl;dr: Hyperfocusing is intense, uncontrollable concentration that can be productive and/or harmful. Hyperfixating is an obsession that can take up a lot of time, effort, and money, but is suddenly dropped. Both of these are common experiences with ADHD and other disorders, and hyperfixation can be mildly felt by neurotypical people, but to a lesser extent and far less frequently.
Hyperfocusing
is the state in which your attention is solely focused on the current task. This could be as simple as filing a nail, or as complex as reorganizing a room. It could be a minute, or several hours. And I don't mean this task is your main focus, I mean it's your ONLY focus.
Nothing else in the world exists to you. People struggle to interrupt and grab your attention. Time isn't a construct you understand anymore. Your nervous system stops sending alerts to your brain about physical symptoms. Hunger and a full bladder don't exist. Being in pain from not moving or muscle aches from heavy lifting aren't a recognizable thing.
It can be dangerous. When your body doesn't recognize hunger and you forget humans need to eat, you can cause digestion issues, low blood pressure, low brain oxygen levels, heartburn, etc. When your body doesn't tell you to stop and go pee, you can cause UTI or bladder infections and fevers. It is not a choice, it's not just working through lunch, and it's not just being super interested in something (although 99% of the time hyperfocusing is related to a task you find interesting).
Once you come out of the hyperfocusing state or are successfully interrupted, executive dysfunction tends to sink in and returning to that task is almost impossible. And everything hurts! It hurts to pee. It hurts to not eat. No time to prepare food, only to eat the food. You can feel very faint and confused due to lack of brain oxygen levels and lost perception of time. It's honestly not a fun experience to come out of. But you can get a lot of detailed work done while hyperfocusing! Hopefully something useful, but as it's not a choice of what on or when it happens, it isn't always productive.
Hyperfixating
is being obsessed with something. Could be anything. Learning a new skill, picking up a new (or old) hobby, an object, a person, a TV show.... Anything. But it's not just liking this thing a lot. It's an obsession.
Spending hours doing or researching or practicing or reblogging about it, even during inappropriate times. Sneaking it or something you can use to look it up with into work or school. Risking a lot to immerse yourself with it. Constantly thinking about it. Dreaming about it. And possibly hyperfocusing on it.
Everyone can enjoy a hobby or be a fan, but this isn't just enjoying it, it's obsession. It's the craving for that dopamine hit as though it were a drug. You find yourself spending so much money on it, and you're convinced it will last for a long time. You have this overwhelming desire to share it with the world. You'll tell your friends and family about it. Show them. Try to get them involved. Have your entire world surrounded by this hyperfixation by inserting it into every part of your life.
And then it's gone.
There's no warning, no getting bored period, no slowly becoming disinterested. You wake up one day and you don't care any more. It's over. It might come back in a few months or years, but more often than not it doesn't. And this can be a very low period. You feel incredibly dissatisfied and bored, but nothing fills that void. Nothing compares to the feeling of the thing you hyperfixated on, including the thing itself. It's like finishing a book or show and not knowing what to do with yourself after. When people ask you how it's going with that project or interest, it feels like a walk of shame to admit you haven't touched it for a very long time and no longer want to. That you spent so much effort and time and money on it and told yourself and everyone else that you weren't going to get bored of it. But you did.
And then the next hyperfixation comes along...
Hyperfocusing and hyperfixations are two common symptoms neurodivergent people experience. Mostly found in those with ADHD, but can be seen in other disorders as well (I believe autism is one of them. I am not autistic, I can't speak for members of the autism community on this). Both hyperfocusing and hyperfixating have their pros and cons, and neither can be controlled or started/stopped at will. The subject matter is also not a choice. Many neurotypical people experience times of intense focusing or obsessions with interests, but not quite to the same extent as often. Neurotypical people can mildly hyperfixate, but it tends to be for a longer time and usually includes a more gradual decline of interest. Some people are able to turn careers into it. If you are neurotypical and truly hyperfixate on something, congratulations, you've discovered your passion. But for someone with ADHD, they may struggle with this, as the hyperfixation can stop suddenly after a shorter time so they can't use it to help with career advancement. These are things that take over the lives of neurodivergent individuals. People have lost jobs over it, gone bankrupt over it, caused health problems because of it.... It's not just something everyone experiences. Neurotypical people can, but it's rarer and less intense. ADHD isn't a lack of attention, it's the inability to regulate it. So while we struggle to maintain focus, we also struggle to stop focusing at times.
If you know someone who's neurodivergent and tells you about these experiences, just listen. Let them teach you about their interest. Let them passionately talk to you about it. If they are hyperfocusing, follow up with them later. Even if they responded to a question during that period, double check if it's important to make sure they remember. Prepare them food ahead of time. Let them know if it's been hours since they got up and walked or went to the bathroom. Don't shame them for dropping an interest, or tell them their hyperfixation is annoying. Understand that they can't control hyperfocusing. Care for them, because they'll need it.
I don't speak for everyone with ADHD, this is just me trying to explain the differences and how strong they can be. I don't speak for anyone else, neurotypical or neurodivergent. Yes, everyone experiences these symptoms sometimes, but not everyone experiences them to the same extent and less frequently. That's why disorders are classified as they are. Please see my "Why saying everyone has ADHD is harmful" and "Disorder and disability aren't bad words" posts. I also have no sources, just personal experiences and what I have been explained by my therapist (who also has ADHD) and other neurodivergent people. So hey, I could be wrong. I'm always open to education, and wish for the world to understand that neurodivergent people are different, and that's not a bad thing!
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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This was commented by @darkxwolf on my post about ADHD procrastination. I thought it was so well said that I just had to share it with you guys!
Stress is icky!
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Thank you so much @darkxwolf for this explanation and for allowing me to share it as its own post on my blog
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thatadhdfeeling · 2 years
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We all have knowledge on that one specific category of a specific subject that we can win any trivia contest with
But it's a specific subset of the topic in general, not the whole topic
If you find a game show based on that specific category of that specific topic of that specific subject, let me know
I could use a million bucks
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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There's such a fine line between
ADHD affects every moment of my every day with everything I'm doing. It's a disorder and I struggle to do things the typical way. That's not my fault and I need to be easier on myself. It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to not be able to do things at all, as well, or as fast as others.
And
Appearing that I'm using ADHD as an excuse for not being able to do even the simplest of tasks despite how bad my executive dysfunction is that day.
Yes, I can do things better and faster sometimes, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle daily. Hourly. One of the biggest frustrations about ADHD is the inconsistency of its presentation within one person from day to day.
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thatadhdfeeling · 3 years
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Executive dysfunction hitting hard:
"Come on, just do it! It's not that hard. Get off your ass and don't be so lazy."
Omg! Why didn't I think of that? 🙃
...
...
... 😠
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