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lxclerc · 9 months

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𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔

summary… charles tries to help his girlfriend study but that proves to be difficult when he doesn’t understand a single thing requested… yes! warning… none. pure fluff.

note… another old drabble request from the graves of my inbox. also as a med student, i adore this idea so much

𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

charles has never been the brightest tool in the shed when it came to academics. he supposes it comes with the occupation. growing up, he cared far too much about racing that he had no space left in his mind to care about school too. he was always meant to be a formula one driver so he never cared about the cell or the mitochondria.

ironically, you were the exact opposite. like him, you’ve known what you were meant to be the moment you got ahold of your first book. you’re going to be a doctor, a healer and you’ve dedicated yourself to that dream.

the human body is a beautiful machine, much like the universe. every little cell and atom circulating its vessel holds a purpose, creating a balance between life and death. it’s majestic, truly and a little bit scary. if one thing failed then the entire system could collapse and so you studied and studied and studied for ways to keep that system going, to cure ailments and diseases.

you thrive off academic validation and a minor superiority complex and yet somehow you’re the most anxious person charles has ever met.

he’s madly in love with you. this is a fact. him and his dream that required him to constantly put his life at risk and you with your dream of helping and saving people. really it was a match made in heaven. and charles is madly madly in love with you.

that’s the only reasonable explanation as he pulled himself out of his sim practice, seamlessly moving around the kitchen of your shared apartment as he prepared an ice coffee for you.

you’re drained and you’re on the verge of breaking down and so when he wrapped his arms around you and offered to help you study for your finals, you’d all but cried in gratitude.

no, charles leclerc didn’t care about the cell and mitochondria and but he cares greatly for you and so he’d study it if it meant you’d finally allow yourself to rest.

unfortunately for him, you’re way past learning about the mitochondria. instead you’re studying your worst enemy aka pharmacology.

“angiotensin receptor blockers prevent vasoconstriction and aldosterone release, causing a decrease in blood pressure and peripheral resistance,” you recite from the top of your head, still looking like you’re on the verge of tears but slightly better.

charles shook his head as he held the book you’d given him to help you study, his glasses on. “non, non, amour. it says here it’s ‘angiotensin receptor blockers selectively bind to the angiotensin I receptors in the blood vessels to prevent vasoconstriction and in the adrenal cortex to prevent release of aldosterone then lead to decrease in BP caused by decrease in peripheral resistance and blood volume.’”

you sigh again but couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you. the first time he did it, you’d gotten frustrated but at this point, your brain is far too fried to even get annoyed at him. especially when even he looks like he’s about to start crying.

you pushed away the book from his hand, clumsily crawling over to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing him down so he’d be laying on the sofa and you on top of him.

“my love, i don’t need to memorize everything word for word from the book,” you explain as gently as you can for the third time. you know he’s just trying his best to help you.

“why?” he frowned. “wouldn’t it be better if you knew it exactly from the book?”

you giggled. “perhaps but no med student would ever survive memorizing twelve inch books word for word. we’d simply all break down and die.”

you hold yourself up, pushing his hair off his forehead before removing his glasses. he still looks confused but a lot of things honestly confused charles. thank god he has a smart girlfriend to explain everything to him.

“stop worrying about it,” you say. “i’ve studied enough and we both need a break.”

he sighed in relief, tightening his arms around you. “thank god i felt like my brain was put on a pressure dryer for a minute there.”

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hussyknee · 5 months

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Ayat Khaddura, 27, was a digital content and podcast presenter in North Gaza. She was one of the five journalists murdered by Israel's targeted air strike on Nov 20, along with her sister and grandmother in her home. She posted this video in the knowledge that these were probably her last moments.

Video description:

A young Arab woman in a hijab and abaya speaks into her camera in Arabic in a high, frightened voice. The subtitles read: "This might be the last video from me. Today the Occupation Forces dropped phosphorus bombs on the Beit Lahia residential area, and frightening sound bombs. And uhm, they dropped letters from the sky ordering us to evacuate. So of course nearly everyone evacuated for the most part. Everyone ran into the streets in a crazy way. No one knows where they're coming or going. Uhm, we're all split up and around. Me and some others stayed at home. The others evacuated and left. We don't know where they've gone, that's for sure. The situation is terrifying, the scenes are horrifying [voice breaking as she starts to cry], the situation is extremely difficult. May God have mercy on us." [She closes her eyes as she starts to cry openly. End clip.]

[New clip.] The same young woman is seated on a desk in front of a world map wearing a jacket over a t-shirt and her hijab. Large video caption reads "Message from Ayat Khaddura who was martyred yesterday". Her voice is sad and resigned, and her face is tired and tear-stained as she speaks in Arabic. Subtitles read:

"We are human beings, just like other human beings around the world. We had many big dreams, but unfortunately today our dreams are that if we are killed we will be martyred in one piece, one body (not torn to pieces) so that people can recognise us, and we will not be cut off in pieces and put in a bag. [struggles not to cry.] When we are martyred there will be a shroud for us and we will be buried in a grave. Our dreams have become that the war will stop, that we stop hearing the sound of bombing. We never imagined we would reach such a stage and live such a life that does not have the lowest basic necessities. [Blinks back tears.] There are things we can't talk about, there are things that people photographed and did not document. When the war will end, who will continue to talk to people? What happened to us, how we lived, what we saw. Everything is being destroyed before our eyes." [Looks down with a sob. End video.]

Israel dropping leaflets onto trapped and hiding people minutes before bombing them is nothing but a sick PR exercise— there's nowhere safe to go, no telling where the bombs will drop, no way to not leave family members behind while fleeing. Many people in North Gaza decided not to evacuate to the South, not only because similar calls to go South have ended in Israeli airstrikes massacring the refugees, but the possibility of being killed while trying to make the journey, the lack of food and water to sustain them, and inability to leave old and disabled family members behind. Some like Hind Khaudary, who had the opportunity to leave the Gaza strip entirely through foreign embassies, stayed behind to continue reporting the situation unfolding in the North. Meanwhile, Israel is continuing to bomb the South, despite their own evacuation orders.

Ayat is one of the fifty-three Middle Eastern journalists killed since Oct. 7. Forty-six of them were Palestinian, most massacred along with their families. Air strikes on other journalists managed to kill only their families instead. This is the deadliest period for journalists recorded by the Committee to Protect Journalists in its thirty years of existence. In fact, Israel killed one of the CPJ's own journalists documenting the murders around the same time as Ayat.

Nearly all these are targeted strikes. Israel controls the census in Gaza and therefore has information on where everyone lives. They also track journalists cellphones and use surveillance drones and quadcopters (drone snipers). Journalists and their families are known to receive threatening phone calls from unknown numbers before they're eventually attacked.

As to why Israel is so concerned about journalists? For the same reason the Biden Administration has stated openly.

But the administration remains wary about Netanyahu’s endgame and seeming lack of a plan for what to do once Hamas is defeated. There was no sense that the pause would turn into a lengthier cease-fire, a senior administration official said. And there was some concern in the administration about an unintended consequence of the pause: that it would allow journalists broader access to Gaza and the opportunity to further illuminate the devastation there and turn public opinion on Israel.

Please spread news of these journalists' murders, show their faces, say their names. While Western journalists from CNN and BCC are embedded with IOF teams to safely "report" on Gaza, Palestinian journalists who have been reporting there for years, wearing a press jacket and helmet they know won't protect them, are documenting and broadcasting the situation on the ground, watching their colleagues being picked off one by one for the last month and half, not knowing when it will be their turn. Ayat was not a combatant. She was a young woman a lot like most on this site, young and angry at injustice, armed with only a degree and internet connection to fight for her people. She wanted the world to witness her last moments: documenting the situation till the end, her terror of dying, how she clung to her faith and wanted to live. Hers and her compatriots work is to resist letting their people disappear among the vast uncounted; she resisted it to her last breath.

Empires and colonizers win wars by reducing people to numbers. When people become numbers they become collateral, cattle, "unavoidable casualties". This is what Palestinians have fought for decades to show: "We Are Not Numbers". If the West wants to kill human beings with impunity, everyone gets to see exactly which lives and loves and hopes it's snuffing out forever.

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hana-no-seiiki · 1 year

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Can you write something about yaoshi?thou their design is very pretty (⁠●⁠’⁠3⁠)⁠♡⁠(⁠ε⁠`⁠●⁠)

Let's say we're their fav human/god

I hope this makes sense

We don’t know much about the Aeons yet, so don’t expect this to be an accurate representation of what Yaoshi acts like. I’ll give ya two versions (human and aeon reader).

(YANDERE?) YAOSHI x READER (ft. Other Aeons)

warnings: ddne, mind break, power imbalance, massive age gap & infantilization(for the human section), yandere themes in general, somnophillia.

note: from what i read in yaoshi’s lore what i wrote feels like something the canon character would do hence the question mark

status: unedited

STORY ONE : TO LIVE IN ABUNDANCE | Doctor ! Reader

Yaoshi could not fathom why one would not wish for eternal life. Life was the most beautiful thing in existence. Wondrous, with a diversity one could not begin to imagine. Yet, there exists people who desire for existence to come to a halt, many who wish for their teachings and gifts to end.

You were one of those people.

Despite your occupation as a doctor, you believed that every patient had a right to choose their destiny. Whether it be to continue fighting for their lives or to die peacefully in their death beds, who were you to decide what happens to them? You were only the nurturer and provider. Even the best doctor in their field has to let go of a patient when it came down to it. For life is only beautiful, meaningful when it has to diminish one day.

And in spite of your beliefs, Yaoshi decided to bless you to join him in his path.

Your world was shaken.

Why were you of all people chosen by this Aeon?

Sure, you were fully dedicated to career. But if anything, your views were more aligned to the Archer Lord of Fate. You have had many Mara strucken, the victims of Yaoshi’s ‘gifts’, pass away before your very eyes. Beasts who have long lost their minds and ability to choose what future they’ll follow. If you had a choice, without a heartbeat

Several millenia pass with you never aging. Generals that ruled come and go.

And now, because of their so-called kindness, you were banished from Xianzhou. Your home. Thrusted into the embrace of space and void,

and none other than the Aeon that doomed you.

“Child. You have come home at last.”

II.

If you were born into a different culture, perhaps a planet that worshipped the Aeon before you, maybe then you would be elated with your current happenstance.

But this was not the case unfortunately.

You spend around a decade filled with hatred and anger. Hurling the most venomous words and even attempting to harm their being. Of course, none of your actions do anything to help your situation.

A century was spent trying to convince them to let you go, to rescind their blessing and leave you to live your life as a mortal.

They refused, stating that it would saddened them to lose you.

It gets close to another century with how long you spent in tears. For the loss of your loved ones that had left you to go to the afterlife. For the situation you were forced into. As you cried and cried, all Yaoshi could do was embrace you using their many arms. It was a peculiar feeling at first but unfortunately became comforting soon enough.

And after all that you finally gave in.

Yaoshi did not seem surprised at all. In fact what awaited your complete acceptance was a gentle smile. One akin to a parent seeing their child come back home after running away in a fit.

“We can finally begin the preparations.”

“For what?” Your voice, hoarse and abused by your depressed barely came out.

“For our wedding.”

iii.

You were used to their multi-armed touches, their inhuman way of showing affection towards you. But nothing could prepare you for the consummation.

You don’t remember anything. Throughout the whole process you were extremely disassociated to the point of being catatonic.

This, this was your life now. Stuck to a god as a human who has far outlived their expiration date. Slowly yet surely your mind corroded.

And even as your body was littered with the golden allure of ginkgo leaves, your freedom never came.

Yaoshi did end up releasing you from their grasp to roam the cosmos freely. People from all over the universe called you the Golden Wanderer, or the Sanctus Medicus Saint.

But what was the point?

Even with your endless fame and immortality. You were a dead man walking.

Waiting, hoping, that one day someone would grant you mercy a god of life and everything beautiful in it could not.

STORY TWO : TO DIE IN THE LIGHT | AEON OF DREAMS - IMAGINARY ELEMENT ! READER

In the time humanity and civilizations began to rise. You were created within the womb of the universe representing a concept. Dreams. Though you most presided over preferable ones, you were known to give unending nightmares to those that slighted you and your domain.

In the grand scheme of Aeons, you were neutral. Never straying from the unbiased perspective of a god. Those that worshipped and favored you get rewarded, those that dirtied your name were punished.

For that you were often looked down upon by your fellow gods, seen as indecisive with your head literally and figuratively stuck in the clouds.

Yaoshi used to be one of them. They had a difficult time understanding how one could live without ever peeling their eyes to the grandiose aesthetics of the world.

They soon began to fall in love with your fair — beautiful and impartial — self.

And if those mara-struck beings were anything to go off of . . .

Their infatuation spelt your doom.

ii.

There you were. Your form shone brilliantly under the light of the moons and stars that seemed to dangle above you.

Even a god snored, and snored you did. But to Yaoshi this hoarse sound was music. No, even more than that.

It was a reminder that throughout the eons, you two are alive. Together. Breathing.

Yaoshi visited your slumbering body frequently to the point that it became a risk. That Lan would sometimes stand guard over you in case they would come, or have the Xianzhou oversee your vicinity. Not many mortals can hold up against the Aeon however, and if it meant having to go against their path in order to see you — the choice was obvious.

Their stays mostly consisted of performing lullabies and poetry of how both your and their followers adored your seemingly romantic partnership, to your blissfully unaware body.

At least that’s what they thought.

iii.

Contrary to popular belief, your most devoted of followers do not eternally sleep. Nor do the majority spend a lot of their sleeping. In order to spread your name, a lot chose to stay awake. Because if there was anything your true followers loved more than a good nap it was you.

As such, not known to many people or gods, you had a vast network of knowledge. A lot of what people learn and experience appear in dreams, and once the more fantastical ones were taken off the list, you were left with a near infinite amount of information.

Humans have also mastered a way of communion with you.

Case in point, you had long known about Yaoshi’s visits. You were the one that asked Lan to aid you. Breaking your self imposed rule of impartiality.

But all is for naught.

Misinformation had spread far too wide and the delusions Yaoshi infected the world with overpowered your truth.

Their acquisition of you was as tranquil and hurdle free as it could be.

While you were caged by Yaoshi, another Aeon swore to bring you back.

Ending life and therefore your deeply unconscious state. A state which they saw as involuntary. A cage infinitely worse than the Aeon of Harmony kept you in.

And the first Stellaron was born.

a/n: i imagine human reader, especially post yaoshi adoption, to be like a lifesteal-tank sort of abundance character. only ever healing(mostly themself) if they attack/hurt the enemy, which would go against what yaoshi wants. i might draw a design for them actually. the type that if you build well, won’t ever die. but any battle with them would take a really long time since their damage is pp in comparison to other characters at the very least.

[link to the design/drawing here if i ever finish it]

[here’s a link to another aeon related fic]

i wanted to include both versions here before i uploaded this even if the first one is so long cause i just know im never gonna write a part two if ever lol. and yes, the aeon in the last bit is nanook.

want more hsr fics/have an idea for one? send me an ask or submission ❤️

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

#yandere #yaoshi #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #yandere hsr x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #nanook x reader #yandere nanook x reader #yandere aeon #yandere lan #yandere yaoshi hsr #yandere fic #yandere x you

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lotusmi · 1 year

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occupying the state leads you to the void

໒ "The outer world merely reflects that which a man is in his own consciousness." - Neville.

꒱Before we start, I want to remember that I am not a void blogger, but I have a deep understanding of the law when it comes to states and the teachings of Neville and Edward. My main goal here is to sprend the law using their teachings as source.

"How do I use states to enter the void?" This is probably, the question I receive the most. This post was in my mind for months, It's going to be a long post but I promise that you never read nothing like this, and I am sure this will help you like nothing did before. I will try to answer all the most common void asks that I get here.

𝑰 Introduction.

"How do I 'use states' to tap into the void?". My first problem with this question is firstly, that most of people don't understand what "States" are, so they think 'it is only one more method', which is not.

My very second problem is, obviously, the obsession with the void and how it affect our community and how it contradicts the principle of the Law of Assumption.

There are, of course, other things that we have to clarify. So I will breakdown into those topics first.

𝑰𝑰 Changing Self.

"You are already that which you seek and you have no one to change but Self in order to express it" - NG

"You are already" "Nothing to change but SELF" Some people don't really understand the importance of this quote. Why you are already? Because creation is finished. There's nothing to add, nothing to change. All you have to change is Self by changing what you identify being or having, and this is a state.

The great importance of knowing all you need to tap into the void is SELF is that you will stop checking new subliminals, new methods, seeking for information or trying to wonder what you are doing 'wrong'. You have to go straight to the wish fulfilled feeling, you change SELF. All you are searching for is Self. All you need is already within you, within your imagination. You think you need new information, I am sorry, this is not what you need, this not even what you want.

"What you are really seeking is something within yourself which is a change of the story of yourself and you can change yourself to how you want in imagination" - Ed

A change of SELF. You want to feel different. You want to feel fulfilled.

"feeling the wish fulfilled one time is greater than listening to 8 hour subliminal messages or trying to impress your subconscious mind or repeating ten thousand affirmations a day" - Edwart

"You are finding the creative power of the universe, and when you find him, he is your own wonderful human imagination." (...) "If this power is within us then we are the operant power. We do not seek anyone on the outside, it is simply within us." - NG

So if we want to change our life, we have to understand that what happens outside is our creation, and even what is happening in your mind, is your creation too.

𝑰𝑰𝑰 What are States?

"A state is simply an attitude of mind, a body of belief, a phase of experience." "Don’t condemn the occupant of the state. The state is the thing, but the occupant is God." - Neville.

States are assumptions we hold about ourselves. A state is what you identify as being or having within yourself. You are now occupying several states, there are infinite states. But we are not those states, we are I AM [God] and I AM is not a state, a state is whatever you claim to be or have. You don't have to stress if you are not in a good state, you can always change your state.

"I don’t care what brought you to that state. I’m here to simply get you out of the state." NG

✧ So now we understand that the state you are right now, is being reflected by your outer-world. What you are claiming, accepting, to be or have, is what you will see in your 3d. "Since creation is finished, every possible state already exists." - NG

+ posts about States that I love: define: states, how to get into a state, states faq, a simple guide to states

𝑰𝑽 Changing States + the state to enter the void?

"What do you want now? Well then you go into the state of the wish fulfilled. What state? The state you decide, you determine what you want in this world, and you go right into that state. And then ignore the facts. Suppose the facts now still deny what you did…it doesn’t matter, let the facts remain, they’ll dissolve." - NG

I know what you want now is to enter the state that will lead you to the void. So I'll first start telling you that this state already exists within you. The you who can tap into the void in seconds is already here, you just have to decide to enter this state by accepting it. Maybe you are not holding the best assumptions about the void right now, but I assure you that this does not matter, since you can change it instantly, just by accepting a new state! "he who makes the evil makes the good"

✧ Here it comes the point where people will ask me "ok but, i did not had entered yet, how can enter this state then? idk how it feels like". ♡ !! TIP: To enter a state you don't have to specify exactly the feeling of the desired thing. "feel like I have mastered the void" sounds weird, right? the feeling one may feel when they master the void can be different of the feeling another feel. This is not like 'feeling happy', everyone feel happy in the same way. The TIP here is:

໒ Let's SIMPLIFY this: We pick the state we want, which is "I have mastered the void", we will REDUCE it to emotions we already know, emotions that would imply your wish fulfilled feeling [knowing], which here is I 'ENTER IN THE VOID EASILY' How would you feel? Pround of yourself , relieved, happy, relaxed, calm, ease, lighten, victorious? Okay, then pick the emotions you will use to make entering this state easier! REALLY FEEL THAT! FEEL [KNOW] [ACCEPT] [ALLOW] The REALITY of it, the imagination is your real reality, I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS > what you feel in imagination is real, is what you truly are, what you determine you are within is REAL. Then does not matter what happened in the world, remove the world. Remove little limitant beliefs NOW! ps: The feeling we seek is the feeling we are/have what we want. It's KNOWING we have. Inducing the feeling with emotion is a method to enter a state, if you don't want to do it, it is okay. If you want to only 'decide' then it is completely alright.

𝑽 The little assumptions.

"his own wonderful human imagination is producing the phenomena of life." - NG ⟡ "I have a good void concept, I really do, but the thing is....." then it comes something like "I AM NEVER AWARE", this is an ASSUMPTION!! Remove this assumption, erase it, burn it! "The whole vast drama is all about the individual" ALL the little assumptions manifest just as the 'big assumptions' you hold. "I almost tap but then I start feeling itchy always" "I lay for like 3 hours and don't tap" bla bla bla DON'T ACCEPT IT. Change this assumption. If there's something you don't want to bother you anymore then don't even unknowlege it! Things die through INDIFFERENCE. You can also affirm against it if you like to > 'I am ALWAYS aware' 'I feel super comfortable ALWAYS' 'I enter in like 2 minutes I don't have to wait'. "These illusions exist only so long as man focuses his attention upon them and gives them life." - NG

"We have created our personal world through thought [state]. If you are experiencing lack, limitation, illness, disharmony or any other unwanted condition, you have either consciously or unconsciously brought these conditions into your experience." - NG "The principle you have unconsciously used to bring about the undesirable conditions in your life can be consciously applied to make your every dream come true." - Neville

this is from my 'Your assumptions about the void' post: If you are accepting, believing, unknowledging, circumstances or fails. Then you are creating all of this failure cycle. Why?

☆ Because you are at the state of letting outside world let you down. You are giving power to circumstances instead of ignoring them and reapeating the new story. "Things die with indifference" ⚠️Outside world is always reflecting, always. As you assume fail and accept it, outside world reflects your state. What state? State of failure, victim, of a loser. This is not world fault, don't blame it, it is your fault.

"Don't blame. Only resolve." - Neville goddard

+ "Ok but I 'can't' feel this, I don't feel like being, Lotus"... Other assumption. We assume we cannot change our inner reality, we start reasoning 'I am even doing this right?' 'Is it enough?' 'This is really going to work?' ... Let's be honest, would God even have those questions? Well, and if He did, would he entertain it? OFC NO! Then if doubts or reasoning come, IGNORE, totally IGNORE! Remove reasoning, let go of it. Know your assumptions are real anyway, I like to use this affirmation when i feel like wavering 'no matter how I feel or what I think, I have my desire, it's done' I don't affirm this to change the world, I affirm this to remember MY WORLD IS CHANGED. "Consciousness is reality and that which is perceived by our senses and appears so real is but the shadow of that which we believe ourselves and the world to be."

Have FAITH. I used to think that faith was not 'having doubts', I was wrong. Having faith is accepting your belief as real EVEN if you doubt. Thoughts don't manifest, so you just ignore 'negative thoughts' 'intrusive thoughts', I mean, this not even a thing. Thoughts don't manifest, what you decided you are or have DOES. So calm down baby, you are in control in your mind too. + "May I tell you, you are focusing in the problem instead at the wish fulfilled." This changed my whole view of the Law. I used to try to find out why I felt certain way about the void, about me, about my life. Tryin to fix things, trying to find the cause. I AM the cause. I fighted those thoughts for more than 5 months till I was tired and gave up. This is was when I understood how I felt. I felt like that because I used to accept I felt like that. We manifest in our mind too. So DONT FOCUS IN THE PROBLEM, focus in the END, that it is RESOLVED.

𝑽𝑰 Even though reason denies it

"do not let your reason and your senses dictate what is possible." -NG

Nothing is real unless you accept. So don't think this or that that happened can ''stop you''. Those little annoying 'limitant beliefs', for mother's sake, understand: circumstances you deal with in the mind are just circumstances too. And circumstances does not matter, they will disolve. So if you still feel fear of something or still think something can make you fail or that you cannot do this or change Self, remove this. Remove rules from your mind. Thinking you have 'blocks', like, no! If you don't want to have blocks then you DONT HAVE IT, remove rules from the mind, those little barriers we create for ourselves, they are a illusion. "you can obtain anything you desire because nothing is impossible to the creative power that resides within you."

"Now do not let your reason and your senses dictate what is possible. All things are possible to God. So, suspend for a moment, your reason, suspend the senses that are dictating what you must accept, for they’re demanding of you, ‘accept the facts of life.’ All right, if you’re going to accept the facts of life, and that reason dictates it, you’ll never go beyond where you are. So suspend them, just for a moment." - NG

"feel the end, and then, dwell in that end even though reason denies it" - NG

"Consciousness is the only reality." + "The outer world merely reflects that which a man is in his own consciousness." + "That which you want to do or be has already been created. Therefore, it actually does exist." + "It is possible to bring into your world anything in creation by your belief that you already have it."

BELIEVE YOUR IMAGINATION IS REAL, YOU DECIDED YOU HAVE MASTERED THE VOID? YOU DID. Surrender, allow it, it is done. So abandon doubts.

♡ TIP: do you doubt the existence of void? read this, by @gorgeouslypink

𝑽𝑰𝑰 New assumptions you should hold with you.

"Persistence in assuming that you are the person you wish to be, despite your present circumstances, is the only condition imposed upon you to embody that ideal.'' - NG

♡ I will try to list some assumptions I think would help you:

You enter in the void effortlessly, you are always aware, you know symptoms does not matter, you are always calm, you are happy that you always wake up in the void, all methods works for you, you are pround of yourself, you are relieved right now, you know your power has no limits, you know entering in the void is easy, you always wake up in the void, you are happy that you know you will enter in the void always, you know you never fail, you know nothing can stop you, you know all the answers are within you, you are already living your dream life, you know you can feel what you want, you removed all the rules in your mind, you are no longer a victim, you are in control, you never blame, you always resolve, your mind is always quiet, you know how to enter the void easily, you deeply understand yourself, you trust yourself, you know you are save, you know everything works in your favor. 'Just try it, and persist' - Edwart

Persist with faith and acceptence. Know you are in control. Don't accept 3d as final.

"While in a particular state, you believe certain things are true and would find it difficult to understand another point of view." - NG

Make assumptions that make things easier for you, no more asking 'how', just try it and persist, no more fighting thoughts, you know thoughts don't manifest and that fight thoughts = fighting self. No more believing a doubt can ruin your desire, doubts have no power. No more trying to fix Self, you just move to the Self you want to be. No more thinking you are doing things in the wrong way, you are doing perfect. No more waiting to have a better Self concept or void concept, you already have it. No more blamin outside causes, you already know you can remove them by not paying attention. No more giving up in the morning because you thought that you 'failed', failure does not exist, you entered in the void just like you always do. No more asking bloggers, you know all the answers. No more overthinking, no more overconsuming, no more searching for things outside, no more seeking for new methods or subliminals. No more unknowledging 'failure'. No more asking how, no more asking if it is ''enough''. It's enough. Enough is enough.

"Be still and know that you are that which you desire to be, and you will never have to search for it." - NG

💌 I feel like there's so much more to write about, there's so much I wanted to explain more. But I will post this and If you like it, I will try making a part 2... So, if there's anything you think I should explain better, please comment here. I am probably going to breakdown into explaining how to manifest something to occur in future, it's a technique that Neville taught. You can use it to enter the void. Well, I will wait for your feedback, and I hope I can bring a next better post soon :)

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vesora · 1 year

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deferred occupancy [+ rant]

as per neville, this is the common fault of man and i agree. sadly to say, i have done the same.

what does deferred occupancy mean?

you are not occupying the state right now. you are waiting until you tap into the void. you are waiting until the 3d conforms. you are waiting until someone gives it to you. but you are not occupying it right now.

you have in mind to occupy it later or you will experience the state when it comes in the 3d, not realising that the state must be fulfilled first in imagination then it will materialise in the 3d.

do not keep creating, do not keep constructing, do not think of your desire as something that you are not one with already. you must occupy NOW. you must accept you have it NOW. daydream knowing what you are dreaming is true. script knowing what you are scripting is true right NOW.

you are not manifesting it. you have already manifested it.

continuously remind yourself that you are the only creator of your reality so that you do not become an inmate in this sense-world. break free from this illusion. you are the creator. you can control everything. you are a God in a human body. you are GOD. you are a beautiful divine spiritual being who is limitless. Humans were made in the likeness of God therefore we can do whatever God can do. There is no separation between God and me. None at all. We are one.

Stop viewing your desires as something not in your possession yet. Stop scripting as if you don't have it yet. You have it right now. The 4D comes first then the 3D conforms. The change in the 4D must be made. The change in self must be made.

It is fruitless to not occupy your state right now. You will keep daydreaming ABOUT your desires and not FROM. You will keep viewing the desires as something outside out of you, something that is not unified with you. This will lead you to keep running in circles, blaming the 3D for not conforming when it is you who has not changed self yet and deferred occupancy of your desired state.

Slam the door on any doubts or worries you have. I don't care, slam it. Ignore it. Oh what if my desires don't manifest? Who the fuck is the 3d to tell YOU, a GOD, what is a fact or not? Tell the doubts to go fuck themselves. Or gently scold them whatever floats your boat. Fact is, do not pay attention or you will keep running in circles. Just let go and believe. Just let go and try without controlling the outcome on a conscious level by worrying about time etc.. it will materialise soon, it has no choice but to!

Be still and know you are God {@lotusmi hehe}. It is done. Why? Because you said so. It is done because you fucking said so.

Remember who you are. You have the power to change anything in your life, simply by thinking from the desire; simply by becoming the desire. The external reality is extremely malleable and our creative mind is the Potter. We mold the external reality through our assumptions. If you assume something, it has no choice but to materialise. If you have FAITH, you will have it in the 3d. Even if you don't, you will still have it, especially if you work on your self concept.

Stop waiting. STOP WAITING! YOU HAVE IT NOW. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WAIT FOR. Your unwillingness to accept you have it now already is what is delaying the externalisation of your manifestations. Because creation is finished! It's done!

You lost 100 euros and you're stressed? No youre not, 100 euros is like 1 cent to you. Tell your subconscious that you're not stressed because you're a millionaire and handle the situation as you would normally because the state is not lost! The outer man does not manifest, the inner man does; the real self does! The subcon only hears what you tell it, so tell it wonderful things. Accept you have these things. Do not wait. Do not wait PLEASE.

You have everything you need right now. All the knowledge needed, you have it already. It is done. It is done because you said it's done. And who are you to say it's done? You are God, you are the ONLY creator / molder of your reality, outside forces don't exist. Even if you believe outside forces exist, they have NO influence in your reality; NONE AT ALL. So, how can you say you don't have it when you are the creator?

Occupy the state now. It is done. Stop waiting and think from it. You already are it. YOU HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. DO NOT BE A SLAVE TO THE 3D SENSES. YOU HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. YOU CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. THERE IS NONE THAT CAN CONTROL YOUR EXPERIENCE EXCEPT YOU!!!!

THE 4D CREATES THE 3D. DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE 3D. IT WILL AND MUST CHANGE IF YOU OCCUPY THE STATE EVEN BY JUST AFFIRMING. JUST HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. HAVE IT. YOU ALREADY DO. IT'S DONE

YOURE SCARED? NO YOURE NOT. WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED? WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME YOU WILL FEEL SCARED WHEN THE DESIRES MANIFEST? ASSUME THAT YOU FEEL ONLY THE BEST EMOTIONS AND ONLY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU.

THE CHANGE OF THE 3D IS NOT PERMANENT. IT IS EASILY MOLDED. IT IS NOT HARD. YOU CREATED IT. IF YOU REGRET SOMETHING, GO BACK. BUT DO NOT LET THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN HOLD YOU BACK FROM MANIFESTING TRUE UNBRIDLED HAPPINESS.

FUCK FEAR. IT HAS NO PLACE IN OUR LIVES. HOW CAN WE BE SCARED WHEN WE ARE IN CONTROL OF EACH ASPECT OF OUR LIVES? HOW CAN WE FUCKING DOUBT OURSELVES? GET UP. STAND UP. YOU HAVE IT NOW.

#law of assumption #loa #manifestation #neville goddard #law of attraction #affirmations #manifest #manifesting #self concept #void state #vaunting #void #vaunt #affs #consciousness #states #spirituality

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killerpancakeburger · 1 month

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Dating Soap HCS: (Combatant!Reader)

A/N: Shoving in there all the thoughts I've had about him and couldn't squeeze into my current fic ideas.

When I say Combatant!Reader, I mean they can fight/kill/use a gun but aren't part of the Task Force nor a soldier.

SFW:

Two words: power couple. You guys could take on the world if you wanted, so good for the world that you’re part of the good guys.

Soap is one of those freaks who’s out of bed by 6 a.m on his days off and starts the day with a jog. He can’t help it, he’s got energy to spare and is addicted to the endorphin he gets from it. Before meeting him you’d have said that a partner up so early was a pain; but how could you be mad at him when he takes such care to not wake you up, and has coffee and a mouth-watering breakfast ready when you emerge? You enter the kitchen where he rewards you with the luscious view of his sculpted body covered in sweat, having already shed his shirt, then sneaks an arm around your shoulders to press an adoring kiss against your temple, along with a “G’morning, Bonnie.” before heading to the shower.

Sometimes you show up unannounced on base - well not completely unannounced cause you’d get shot -, barge into the sparring room like you own the place - and considering the company you keep, you might as well -, and hit all its occupants with a “What’s up losers?”. Before anyone else can react, Soap’s already leaping over the ring’s ropes and running to you, hugging you with so much enthusiasm that your feet leave the ground. “Ye didnae say ye were comin’!” His voice booms with unadulterated joy. “Yeah, that’s called a surprise MacTavish. Now let go of me, you stink.” He throws you a cocky, challenging smirk at that: “Make me.” His voice is way lower, intended for your ears only this time. The glint in his eyes, as he’s staring right into yours, is just as provocative as his smile. You retort with your own. “I could, but I would hate to humiliate you in front of the new recruits, Sergeant.” Cue Ghost, joining you by walking like a civilised human being, and already sick of your flirting. “If you two are done makin’ a spectacle of yourselves, we could have a smoke outside.” There’s no real heat to his words though.

During some evenings at the base when Ghost snuck up God only knows where, Soap, Gaz and you compete to see who can do the best impression of the Lieutenant. Soap’s in the lead with the advantage to be the one having exchanged the most words with Simon, but you’re confident you can turn it around.

Will touch you all the fucking time (except on missions), whether it’s an arm around your shoulder, or your waist, or a hand in the back pocket of your pants, or holding your hand. Will restrain himself if you’re against it but if he can’t cuddle in private he will be sad.

No PDA on missions, but he will definitely flirt over coms. You’re both skilled enough that you can afford to fuck around a bit while still doing your job expertly.

Talking about flirting, he is smooth… until the other person reciprocates. Then he needs a moment to get back in the saddle after short-circuiting.

Fervently loyal. If someone comes onto him, he will reject them frankly. And if they dare to bad-mouth you, they’re getting an earful from him.

The rare fights you have are intense but brief. He always wants to apologise as soon as possible afterwards but he gives you your space if you need it.

You patch each other up after missions. One day you pore over each other’s scars during a lazy morning in bed, asking how the other got them.

He loooves seeing you put assholes in their place. He’s so fucking proud and aroused. Tend to snap at them faster than you though. And if you’re not in the mood to fight, he will gladly take over. “You know I can fight. Pleaaase let me fight”

Your #1 supporter. Will Smith showing off his wife.meme. He admires you a lot. Not as much as Ghost, sure, but that’s still a lot. If you wanna try new things, especially thrills inducing ones like canyoning or bungee jumping, or push back your own limits in the gym or in combat prowess, he’s always down and so, so enthusiastic. First because he’s so thrilled to share these with you, and second because he relishes in seeing you become a better version of yourself and/or the person you wanna be.

He’s proud of his job and will rant about it for hours if you ask about it. Especially explosions. Your idea of a romantic evening is taking in the sunset with a couple of explosions fireworks.

He’s a freaking sunshine and sometimes the light feels blinding. You worry you’re bringing him down. He has such an optimistic outlook on life, and you… simply don’t. You also fear that one day he realises he’s too good for you, whether it’s in terms of looks, personality, morals, or mental resilience… he’s always quick to appease your worries though.

Not getting along with the TF would be a deal breaker. Not that he’s expecting you to become BFF with Ghost or anything, that role is already taken by him

Will not hesitate to use his sad puppy eyes on you. Or even pout. To get what he wants.

He demands a kiss for good luck before every mission, a bit lOUDLY, which makes Ghost rolls his eyes and Gaz makes gagging sounds. Price is just like "Lord Give Me Patience".

NSFW:

Don’t be afraid to (wo)manhandle him: pulling his hair, slamming him against a wall, grabbing his jaw… that will make him moan more often than not.

Call him a good/pretty boy, praise him, tease him, make him beg… He will tease back to challenge you but it just means you should keep going.

He’s a good soldier, he follows orders well. Do with that what you will.

Endless stamina. Will wear you out first every time.

Gets off when he gets you off.

Did I mention that he’s terribly competitive? Will ask you what’s the highest number of orgasms you had in one night and will immediately try to beat that record.

If he doesn't make you laugh at least once during the do, he has FailedTM 😔

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ma1dita · 1 month

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to catch a thief

a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

words: 3.7k

summary: (post-TLT, sea of monsters compliant/spoilers) The one where duty calls at Camp Half-Blood. Again. Your reunion with Luke is nothing you both could have ever expected. (Luke Castellan x fem!Dionysus!reader)

a/n: we’re so back trouble!verse ;) sorry for the post birthday hiatus on this, hope you like it! crack banter but err... she got a lil angsty

(posted 3/22/24, semi-edited)

—

When you wake up to the gentle rolling of the sea, it feels like a comforting embrace in a distant dream. Tangled within pristine white sheets, you could smell the salt through the small opening in the bay window–though this was a far cry from a fairytale conjured by your mind. This was your reality.

You wouldn’t call it a nightmare per se, but the circumstances were definitely less than preferred.

This is not the CSS Birmingham. No, that went up in flames. Retracing your steps to what led you to this—cushy cruise line of a prison, you reckon it’s been a few days now since you’ve become a stowaway, or a hostage. You haven’t quite decided yet.

Gods, this is what you get for passing up on that summer research internship.

Dropping off Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson at camp was supposed to be a fun walk down memory lane—until meeting with your dad, finding out Thalia’s tree had been poisoned, watching Chiron get fired, and essentially getting kicked out by the troll of a man who originally got sent to the Fields of Punishment for marketing the taste of human flesh made you remember that nothing at camp is the way it used to be.

Not like before, when you and Luke used to run it.

Your dad told you to go home and wait till you were needed. Home. Driving away from it this time around was harder than you thought it would be. You’d never been the patient type, and to drop everything just because a god told you to? Hilarious, really.

But almost a week later, after rejoining your friends on an undead ship that you let the kids commandeer, your vital mistake was thinking that Clarisse’s quest would be a breeze. Rookie move, since the last one you were on left you as scarred as Luke was. Even thinking of him now, you run your thumb over the rough patch of skin on your palm.

At the very least you hoped Tyson was okay. The last memory you have of the young Cyclops was watching him from your place on the ladder as he stopped the engines from overheating. Maybe it was the ex-head counselor in you, or your increased threshold to pain, but there was no way in hell you were leaving that kid behind.

The sound of voices from outside your door gets louder now, your throat feeling like you’ve been swallowing wads of cotton and a persistent ringing in your ear that hurts just as bad as when you watch Chris Rodriguez walk in with a plate of food. The last one he slid through the door bumps against his boot, still uneaten and he sighs.

“So what, you’re on a hunger strike now? I forgot how difficult you could be.”

You bark out a laugh. Thankfully it’s loud enough that it almost conceals the rumble of your stomach. Gritting your teeth, you mumble, “Wish it could be an idiot strike. I forgot how much of a bitch you are when it comes to your brother, Rodriguez. How long are you going to keep me here? It’s been days.”

Your former friend rolls his eyes at your dramatics like he doesn’t hold the key to your freedom.

“Three since you woke up, actually. Come on, you’ve gotta eat, or I’ll get my ass kicked,” he grumbles. You raise an eyebrow at that, walking towards the window to dodge the uncomfortable tension that fills the room. He plucks an apple slice off your plate.

“He couldn’t splurge on a balcony view? Monsters aside, it’s not like you’ve reached full occupancy.”

“There are more mortals here than you think. To be honest, he was worried you would find a way to overthrow us,” the tanned boy admits, placing the tray on the dresser. It was always a wonder to him how you and Luke were more alike than you think, even now—even when Luke hasn’t come to see you. Talking to you reminded him that you’re both pains in his ass, and Chris was still unsure of who to be more wary of, but he’s been in charge of watching you for the most part.

“Well tell your stupid captain he has no right to be worried about me. I’d much rather try to jump if given the opportunity.”

There’s no response, so you turn to face Chris who’s eating a croissant with a bashful grin.

“Seriously dude?”

“Listen, I’m hoping if I think of the right words to say, he’ll come in and deal with you himself. Opposite sides of a war and you’re still both giving me a headache. Just like old times,” he chuckles, flakes of pastry dotting across his chest plate. Your mouth quirks into a bitter smile. Old times, when Luke would shove you if he couldn’t think of a reply fast enough. When you’d punch him to get your point across if he wasn’t listening. How a kiss could end any waging war between the both of you.

You swallow, turning slowly to watch your reflection in the glass of the windowpane.

Why hasn't he come to see you? The first day, you remember spending out on the sea—treading water with no land in sight, calling out to your friends until your voice went hoarse, but you didn’t cry. You know better than to show weakness now, even when no one’s around. Chris tells you over a gulp of orange juice that you washed up next to the Princess Andromeda on the second day like it was fate. Though fate was never truly that kind to anyone; it felt like it was laughing in your face. Knocked out cold for two days after, and ignoring all of Chris’s attempts to keep you alive in the days that followed, you’ve been in this room ever since. You barely notice Chris’s departure.

Entering the ensuite bathroom, you splash your face and sip on water from the tap before stopping at the doorway. A shadow flits at the seam near your feet, someone standing just out of sight when you peer through the peephole.

But you know Luke’s there. Sons of Hermes have almost undetectable footsteps, however, Luke walking in and out of your life for as long as he has—there’s no inconceivable way to not know him. Perhaps you couldn’t hear the sound of his feet, but there’s a way the wind shifts your hair, your heart slowing in ease at his presence, and the scent of him reminiscent of skin kissed with the peel of an orange. The skin you used to kiss and greet and know like your own.

The shadow fades just as your hand reaches out towards it, leaving like he always does. Always out of reach.

Even as the Princess Andromeda continues to set sail upon the calm waters of the Atlantic Coast, you look out to the unending horizon and still feel like you’re drowning.

—

“Status report, soldier?”

Chris rolls his eyes, popping the last piece of apple into his mouth as he strolls into the command deck. The both of you had a flair for the dramatic—it serves as his reminder of why you two worked so well. Luke is sitting in his captain’s seat, watching the waves crash against the hull as the sun begins to set on the skyline.

“She’s angry. Anyone would be if they were locked up like that.”

“Well, yeah, but tell me something I don’t know. Something useful, Rodriguez,” Luke says, flicking his pocket knife closed. It’s still sticky with the juice of the fruit, catching onto his finger. He hisses, but then the sound of loud footsteps boom down the corridor, along with the sound of maniacal laughter as the door slams open. The two sons of Hermes look at each other curiously, knowing it all too well.

“You know, the next time you send a 9-year-old to stand guard, remember to not make it the one we used to throw into the lake,” you drawl, sauntering into the bridge and looking around until your eyes land on your ex, “and also remember that you taught me how to pick locks.”

Ethan Nakamura heaves behind you, hands on his knees before he stands to attention and salutes his captain.

“Sir, I was just following orders… and I’m not 9 anymore!” he snaps, glaring at you. Laughing at the absurdity of the situation makes it easier to get through. You thought being surrounded by the undead on the CSS Birmingham was scary enough, but standing in a room with ghosts from your past was somehow worse. Honestly, you learned a lot more by being in that room than if you were to jump ship like you wanted to.

“I taught you how to tie your shoes, Ethan. You’re always gonna be a little kid to me,” you scoff, brushing him aside and walking towards Luke, “your new digs are fancy, by the way. I could tell by all the teenage soldiers chasing me through the tourists.”

He stands up and meets you head to head, as the both of you inspect each other closely.

It’s been a long year without you.

You look thinner. You’ve lost the softness in your cheeks and your eyes are tired. He wonders what you chose to major in, who your roommates are, if you still think of him with a smile on your face. You’re still beautiful.

“You know me, I like to travel in style,” Luke says offhandedly, a half smile on his face. For someone leading a war against the gods, he’s calm in your presence.

“Back when I knew you, we traveled in a tin can that we also called a car.”

His clothes are nicer than anything you’ve ever seen him in. He looks really fucking good, for someone on the run. It’s almost frustrating to see how brawny he’s gotten, muscles rippling as he crosses his arms. You suppose he has nothing to do now but practice and spar (that or he’s definitely flexing for you). Pulling at the drawstring of the joggers you wear, you realize his initials are embroidered on the pocket. Pretentious fuck. Did he change you once you got on board?

Chris and Ethan suddenly get the feeling that they’re interrupting something—a reunion in a blockbuster romantic movie they’ve seen the mortals play out on the ship deck’s projector on Friday nights. The two of you stand there arguing like a married couple despite the fact you are no longer lovers and the bickering continues even when more of Kronos’ army files in. You laugh again at the sight of children walking in—some strangers, others you’ve sung to sleep in cabin 11, all still children, even back from the time before when laughter didn’t have to have a reason, light and airy in the summer sun.

“You’re sick, you know that? Did you just plan to let me rot in that room until it was all over? You didn’t even talk to m—”

“Classic, you’re more mad that I didn’t talk to you over the fact that you’re a prisoner,” he seethes, but you don’t stand down—not now or ever.

“Prisoner? I walked out and none of your Boy Scouts could do anything about it!”

His face is turning red now, jaw tightening at the angst but deep down he misses this—the banter, the thin line between hate and love you both tread on. You may be a damsel. But you were not in distress. To further prove your point, you swing an arm toward one of the boys in black (their uniforms were annoyingly corny), and they all take a step back toward the wall. Your eyebrows furrow, “What type of prison has guards terrified of the prisoner?”

He shrugs, “It was only time before you came and found me. I even gave you a bay window.”

That was not the right thing to say.

“I’ll fucking kill yo—”

“Sir? So do we try and detain her, or….” one of the demigods you don’t know interjects, and Chris Rodriguez sucks at his teeth before he responds.

“Alright. We’ve seen enough of the show. Everyone file out and let Castellan reunite with his girlfriend.”

“GIRLFRIEND?”

“Girlfriend…”

The both of you look at each other, one in anger, the other in sheepishness now that you’re alone. It's even funnier that neither of you deny it.

“You left me there in that room, and by the sight of things around here you prefer being in the company of monsters than being with me, so by the gods, what do you want, Castellan?”

You fall into the captain’s chair exasperatedly, watching him watch you.

“I’m giving you a choice,” he says simply. “You can stay here with me, or you can go.”

“A choice? You captured me to tell me I have a choice,” you spit, as if that was the stupidest thing he could say. “You didn’t give me a choice when you left me.”

“It was a matter of the circumstances. And I didn't capture you—are you mad that I betrayed everyone or not, because I can’t really read you right now, trouble…”

Your eye twitches and your hands are in fists across your lap. Another wrong thing to say.

“Keeping me here until I get the nerve to talk to you is not a choice, asshole. Do you think you could just hide me away until the bad part’s over? To save me until everything's good enough for you?” Your eyes catch onto the droplets of blood that fall onto the hardwood flooring near your feet. His hand is bleeding, and like it’s nothing of the sort you reach out for it.

Luke thinks that if he lets you your hand will still perfectly fit in his, so after a moment, he pulls his hand away out of your reach. Pulling a handkerchief out of your pocket (also embroidered with his initials—note to self, never let a son of Hermes have money), you stand to wrap it around his hand to stop the bleeding. You pretend not to notice his heartbeat increase through the throbbing of the cloth.

“Don’t let my actions make you believe that what we had wasn’t good, trouble.”

“Stop calling me that. Why are they all scared of me? Why won’t you let me touch you?” you whisper, putting pressure on his finger until the blood clots. It doesn’t even hurt, to tell you the truth. Not touching you when you’re right here in front of him is a pain he can’t find the words to describe. But what he’ll never understand is that he’s right. You two were good together. You’d have him through the bad too, if only he let you.

“Because you might think you can fix me.” Or worse, you might change his mind. You don't have to say you love him for him to know it. A part of him wishes he didn’t have to do all of this to prove to you he feels the same.

“Would you have left with me?” he mutters. A wistful look cuts through your anger and he knows he’s finally said something right. His pocket knife is on the control board and your hands drop to your side again when you realize that he may have forgotten to tell his battalion of who you are to him, but he still remembers how you like your apples cut. The silence is loud, even with the twinge that comes with the pain in your eardrum as you sway a little on your feet. Your body still knows it can relax with him, knees buckling with a false sense of security despite your willpower.

“I would've made it so that there was no other option for you but to want to stay.”

A soldier bursts through the door and apologizes for the intrusion, but the both of you have found out all you need to know. The moment is over and Percy Jackson has been captured by the army in his efforts of trying to save the day. There’s a look shared between the two of you that wonders if this will become a trend.

—

Licking your lips as your…Luke guides you out onto the main deck with your hands behind your back, you can taste the salt in your air. It’s almost as evident as the surprise in your friends’ faces when they see you alive. This time, they don’t question your allegiance but in the chaos that ensues, for a moment, you do.

For a moment, you wonder what would change if you decided to stay with him. Would the sky fall under your feet? Would the gods kneel like Luke said they would? Looking at him in your periphery, you realize it’s not what the both of you want, even if it’s the easier way out—to be together despite it all.

The two of you against the world instead of the world against the both of you.

But he won't even touch you—he’s holding you over the sleeves of your shirt, too scared of what you’ve become in his absence. You suppose you’re scared of what he’s become too.

The realization hits that you could defect from your friends, family, and home. You could undo everything that you and your friends have worked towards. But nothing he can say will change the fact that he didn’t choose you.

Luke was right, then.

You did have a choice, one that he still forces you to make as you nod at Percy to flip his last drachma into the open water, opening a direct line of communication to your father to catch the thief—of both lightning and the beat of your heart, in the act.

You realize that if the gods were the least bit grateful that you’ve kept their kids alive for the past half-decade, perhaps fate would be on your side and Luke would still be yours. But life has a funny way of working itself out when Luke admits to the open air of another crime to tack onto his list.

“Kronos was right. I should’ve killed you, Percy.”

The son of Poseidon goads Luke into another duel and you survey your surroundings for a way out. Annabeth burns holes into the side of your head and it gets you thinking, moving faster than you have in days as you walk towards her and Grover. At the raise of your hand, the demigods holding onto the pair drop to the deck, incapacitated with illusions of madness they will never comprehend. The more of them that surround you drop like flies as Luke’s eyes flicker between you and the boy he has at swordpoint.

You’ve gotten stronger in his absence—you never needed to touch him to use your powers after all. Just waiting for the right moment to strike, attacking when Luke finally let his guard down for you. He cracks his neck, knowing you’ve made your choice, so he makes his.

“Get them.”

The monster scrambles across the deck but it approaches you first, clawing at the wood and barely missing your feet as you scream for help, defenseless without a sword and you hear Luke yell your name in alarm before a punching glove-tipped arrow sends it hurtling overboard.

Your eyes lock with his again as you disembark with the Party Ponies, you with your crew as he corrals the mess you made of his. It has to be the salt air that makes your eyes seem a little misty.

Your fates have always been tied.

You protect your home, and he does what he can to protect you. Luke looks over your form like he’s checking if you’re okay, even from a distance— and it makes you wonder if this is how it's supposed to be. Someone leaving, and the both of you apart.

It’s weird to be the one leaving this time, but it isn't as easy as Luke makes it seem each time he does it. You avert your eyes once you see him put his hand in his pocket, him finding what you snuck in on the way to the deck. Luke pulls out a leather bracelet with a black camp bead, the one he missed in the year he’s been gone. He rolls the bead between his fingers, the thing you last touched before leaving him, an emblem of his archnemesis and the summer that changed everything—the consequences of his actions ripping you away from him. When he slides it on his wrist, it lightly clinks against the hilt of his sword, the lone clay bead a force of its own against Backbiter's reverberating power. He feels nostalgia for what could have been crawling through him—though Luke supposes he’s always been too vulnerable when it comes to you.

Is this what you’ve been feeling every time he walks away?

It starts to rain after you leave. Luke watches his crew take cover from the downpour, running in all different directions to hide away from the storm that ravages the Princess Andromeda.

But he stands still, looking up at the sky and hating it for how openly it’s able to cry. Luke is far away from home again—from you and it makes him wonder how much longer he’ll have to be away from you when being with you is what he truly wants.

The mission continues and the ship keeps pushing forward even as the rain washes over him, soaking through his armor and straight to the bone. Raindrops pelt through every crevice, though this onslaught is much kinder, more gentle, even when it’s angry. He closes his eyes and lets it touch his skin.

For a moment, it feels like you.

—

A hand penetrates the tide searching for yours, gripping onto your unconscious one. He’s spent hours ripping holes through time to try to find you, an advantage given to him in a dream by the Titan. The agreement, what keeps him from not running back to you is that you live—and as Luke pulls you out of the ocean waterlogged and turning blue, he wonders if it’s all a farce.

Losing you isn’t worth the wrath of the gods if you’re lifeless in his arms like this.

He shouts your name, pumping your chest with his fists and breathing life back into your lips until you cough out saltwater, head lolling against his knee. Luke’s fingers stroke your hair, touching you for the first time in a year. As life slowly brings the color back into your cheeks he silently thanks Hestia for keeping your flame alight. His soldiers call out to him from the deck, and he steels his resolve as he rows the lifeboat back to the ship. Still, Luke has to uphold his side of the agreement.

He wonders if you’d stay. Even if he knows the answer, Luke wonders if you would ever change it for him.

—

And they tell me you are evil and I answer: Yes, I know. –Patricia Smith

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