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#their progression is literally just growing a brain
the-letter-s · 4 months
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man the violent cognitive dissonance between "I need to do everything in my power to get out of this house because my abusive fathers mental health is clearly declining which will make things Worse" vs "If I take advantage of my moms offers to help me get the fuck out of here I am Abusing My Class Privilege And Therefore Should Suffer The Fate Of Die"
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mrfoox · 2 years
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It's starting to become obvious that I'm not fitting into my friend group and I'm scared and sad
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bonafidehero · 16 days
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Oh boy grief over the death of a child is probably the worst feeling for me, especially when you were a child with them and now they’re gone and you’re not and you’ve aged and they haven’t. I’m gonna be 33 and you’ll always be 10 and in my head I’ll always be 7 in relation to you and somehow that makes it worse. I try so hard to not daydream about what you’d be like and what our relationship would look like but literally just seeing a older brother younger sister duo sends me into tears over my oatmeal.
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reasonsforhope · 6 months
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I can't take the state of the world anymore, every day things constantly get worse and there's literally nothing we can do. Every time things get better they're immediately undone by forces more powerful than us. I just want things to go back to the way they were before when it felt like there was hope, now it feels like humanity is doomed and will never, ever get better. I just want to die so I can finally know peace from this evil.
Hey. I'm really, really sorry you're having such a hard time. That sounds like an incredibly painful headspace to be in.
Please find someone you can talk to and who can help you - whether that's a peer counselor or a good friend or a trained mental health professional. Especially a trained mental health professional, if you can. You can find a really thorough list of crisis hotlines listed by country here.
Also, I realllllly recommend getting off any websites or social media that are contributing to you feeling like this, or at least block all the people/tags posting things that are making you feel like this. Negativity bias is real - the news/internet doesn't accurately reflect the world and neither does the way your brain perceives it
In the meantime, a few quick words/facts of comfort. I hope they can give you at least some reassurance or solace.
We literally have more reason to hope we can solve climate change than ever before x
Starting about six months ago, major international energy reports have come out for the first time showing that we have a visible, concrete path to staying under 1.5 degrees celsius x
Twenty, even ten years ago, scientists talked about whether we could possibly manage to limit global warming to 4 or 5 degrees Celsius. Now, those numbers aren't even on the map - we're talking 1.5 or 2 degrees Celsius. We've cut expected warming in half in under a decade x
Renewable energy is growing so exponentially it's now "unstoppable" x
Two hundred years ago, in 1800, there wasn't a single "liberal democracy" - a democracy that gives all citizens the right to vote - on the planet. Just over one hundred years ago, in 1900, there were five of them. Today, roughly half the countries (aka roughly 100) on the planet fall into this category. International politics is so often two steps forward, one step back, but this is actually an astonishing pace of progress in the grand scheme of things x
For all of human history, until just over 200 years ago, roughly half of all children died. Across times, across cultures. Half of all children died by the age of 15. Half of them. Today, globally, that same child mortality rate is only 4%. We did that. We changed what was previously an eternal, inescapable, and horrific condition of human existence, and we are going to keep making that rate go down x
Two steps forward, one step back, is still moving forward. There are so, so, so many reasons that we are not already doomed. There are so many reasons to think the future is going to be bright
To anyone struggling with thoughts like this: please, please give yourself the chance to see it
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wintersera · 9 months
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UHM UHM CAN WE HAVE A GP WINTER X SUB READER AND GP KARINA?
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roommate g!p jiminjeong x f!reader
notes: they’re just so silly and caring in this fic, also minjeongie gets a more confident abt topping reader aww and AFTERCARE AWWW
cw: overworking, threesome (reader receiving) , oral (giving), cockwarming at the end, praise, soft dom rina, um sorta dom winter?, subby reader, rina cums everywhere. not rlly proofread 😭
word count: 2.1k
in the next two weeks you had an exam. and hell, you were stressing the fuck out.
locked in your room for days on end without seeing sunlight for hours and hours, you decided that it would be best for you to cram every piece of knowledge into that brain of yours. glued to your desk table almost 24/7.
naturally, the eldest was worried for your mental and physical health. only seeing you exit your room for toilet and food breaks, food breaks being you making one cup of instant noodles per day. obviously as this progressed she grew even more anxious each time she saw you, you looked more drained than ever and she didn’t like that.
having enough of you over exerting yourself for some silly exam that wasn’t even that important, she knocks at your door gently, “hey, can i come in?” no response. “please? it’ll be quick” still no response. “i’m coming in.”
there you were with your head literally shoved inside a large ass textbook, headphones on with a blanket draped around your shoulders. the only light in your room was the desk lamp because you had your curtains closed for what you liked to call ‘study vibes’. noticing a strange presence at your door, you pull your headphones down, jerking your head towards jimin who was looking at you with concern in her eyes. “what? im studying please leave”
“you’ve been studying nonstop for the past week, are you trying to exhaust yourself… take a break”
“UM, no. i think i’m okay jimin. i need to get good grades for this exam or else i’ll cry…” putting your headphones back on, shoving your face back into the comically large textbook.
“take a break, please! how the hell are you going to do this exam when you’re literally going to pass out in the exam hall” swivelling your chair around to make you meet her face. ignoring her requests, she grows a little impatient, “right… if you’re not gonna relax i might as well help you relieve your stress” sitting on your bed, taking her shorts off revealing her boxers. she pats her lap ,wanting you to come sit on her. “come on, i know you want to.” grinning at you so sweetly. you couldn’t really say no anyways, she was so cute about it.
“okay fine, but only for a bit. then i have to get back to studying for real. deal?”
standing up from the chair was definitely a challenge for you. you had been sitting there for quite a while and your legs were trying to get used to well… walking. “you know what, let me just-“ with ease, she picks you up, sitting herself down with you on top of her lap, facing the door which was right in front of you. “-perfect. now i can help you out” even though you could do it yourself, jimin insisted on helping, taking off your shorts and panties, leaving just your shirt on.
sitting there, bare on her bulge, you began to feel a familiar sensation form in your stomach. “do you want me to skip the foreplay today? or… no?”
“well… you said i should relieve my stress so…” giggling in excitement as you guide her hands around you “don’t skip it”
with that she began. delicately touching your body everywhere, from caressing your thighs to light touches on the sides of your waist to fondling your breasts, sending shivers down your spine. gently holding your jaw as she moves your head to the side to kiss you gently on the lips. first starting off as sweet pecks that gradually turned into her licking your lips for entrance, wanting to let her tongue roam the insides of your mouth. she’s so gentle with it, savouring your reactions as if she’s never going to see you again, taking the time to tease you where she knows you like, commenting on how pretty your moans are and more. “you’re so cute, y/n. you’re so pretty”
you notice her bulge growing larger and larger, she was getting turned on too, purposely pushing her chest into your back because she knows how much you love her tits, but also because she wants to feel closer to you, and of course the fabric covering her nipples rubbed against her which she always loved. her breath tickling your neck as she, not so subtly, grinds you on her covered cock. oh she’s definitely hard. with how big it is, it must be a pain to keep it hidden in her jeans all day.
“jimin… mm.. take your.. boxers off” you whimper out between each breath you take. carefully lifting you up a little bit, you help her shuffle out of her boxers, letting it fall to her feet. “god you’re so- big” she wraps her arms around your waist pulling you back down, this time sliding her cock all the way inside, her tip almost kissing your cervix.
“can i start moving?” nipping your ear as she strokes the sides of your waist again. her tone filled with dripping lust, it was so obvious that she wanted to ram into you, but she wasn’t like that… unless you told her to.
“go ahead”
ever so gently she pushes her cock in and out of you, yet again praising you for taking her so well and saying how good your pretty moans sound to her. “focus… on me. let me help you forget about that stupid exam” lifting your hips up and pushing it back down again to help you ride her.
to be honest, the position you guys were in made it quite difficult for her to move her hips. but nonetheless she wanted you to be comfortable, only disregarding her slight discomfort to help you with your stress. so sweet.
she began to quicken her thrusts, feeling your walls squeezing down on her shaft. akin to a puppy, she desperately ruts into you, her moans becoming more and more louder with each push, yet she doesn’t forget about you.
gathering up the slick between your thighs she uses one of her hands, slowly rubbing your clit in circles while she uses her other hand to move your head to the side, acting on the urge to kiss you once more.
too absorbed in the pleasure, you and jimin fail to notice the sound of the front door being pushed open.
minjeong, fully unaware of whatever is going on in your room, bought your favourite drink as a surprise from the cafe just across the street, hoping that it would soothe you as she was also equally worried as jimin
“y/n, i’ve got your fav- hi..?” she knows you study with your headphones on so she usually walks in without a care, but this time was different. oh she was flushed in the face. “um- i- uhhhh…” stuttering horribly while she awkwardly places the drink on your desk. there you were with jimins cock shoved right up your cunt, legs wide open for her to gawk at.
who in the dorm wouldn’t get a boner? absolutely no one, obviously. and with full shame, minjeong felt her pants tighten, groaning at the delicious view in front of her.
you and jimin couldn’t care any less at this point, still fucking while she was in the room. you could tell that she was holding herself back when she could very easily take your head and shove you down to choke on her cock. but you knew she had a lot of shame to not do that.
“i-i’ll just leave. uh… you two carry on w-what you were doing” just before she was about to leave, jimin ,although dazed, thought long and hard.
“minjeong wait. fuck, help me out please? make y/n forget about studying for now” suddenly hoisting you up causing you to whine “y/n baby, lay down on your back for me please” doing as you were told, you laid there bare, pussy clenching around nothing as you felt the stares of two hungry woman staring at your naked body.
minjeong immediately grew shy at the request, throwing a glance at your still body waiting for her on the bed. she sighed, “are you sure? none of us have shared y/n before so like… i don't know” it took a few more persuasions from jimin to fully get her to agree. not usually topping you she didn’t have a clue on what to do. here you laid with your legs open for her, chest rising up and down, eagerly waiting for either one of their cocks to fill you up.
“guysss… hurry up please. i’m horny as hell and i need to get back to studying”
“hold on a sec. let me just move again” jimin said as she stood up. hovering almost right above your head, she orders you to open your mouth wide enough for her to slide her length in. as she fills your throat up, she takes both of her hands around your neck, both for choking you and stabilisation.
again, minjeong just stood there. drinking in the view of you taking jimins massive dick inside of your whorish mouth. just look at the bump moving up and down your throat. everyone say thank you to karina.
quickly taking off both her pants and underwear, she shuffles herself between your legs and teases your entrance. “a-ah, you’re already so wet y/n… mmhm i’m putting it in okay?” latching onto your hips for dear life. poor minjeongie, it’s her first time trying to dom you without being drunk as hell. shyly bucking her hips into you, you let out a couple faint moans.
“cmon minjeong don’t pussy around. actually slam into her- fuck, like this..” while demonstrating her extremely good thrust game, she starts fucking your mouth, pretty much using it like a fleshlight. “god your throat feels so amazing. good girl, k-keep using your tongue like that”
amazed at how rhythmic her hips were moving, she starts following the same speed as her. thrusting in and out in the same pace as she does, creating this new and very welcome sensation. it was also oddly sensual, knowing that the two of your roommates were currently bonding over… having sex with you. endearing in some sort of way.
getting lost in the moment, feeling both of your holes being filled up with these two massive cocks, you feel your legs shaking baadddd. the both of them could feel you growing closer to orgasm, minjeongie feeling your pussy pulsing and tightening each time she hits your favourite spot, whilst jimin could feel you struggling to keep up with your deepthroating, feeling how your muffled moans grew louder and louder. and of course this caused them to both edge closer to their own orgasm.
it hit hard. harder than usual. both watching as you unravel under them, hands searching for the nearest thing to grab, that being jimins arm. slipping your mouth out of jimins cock, you lift your back off of the bed, lips parting as your head rolled back in pure ecstasy. it felt so relieving.
and shortly after the two of them both came. minjeong spilling every last drop of cum into your pussy, leaning forwards to push her load further into you. then jimin finishing all over your face and stomach, her warm cum decorating your body.
you definitely deserve this after working your ass off for the past few days.
the three of you just rested for a while. panting heavily as you all simmer down from your highs.
“i’ll be back, i’ll get you guys some water” pulling her boxers back on and walking to the kitchen her boner is still apparent. well i mean your tits are still covered with her cum, how can she not be turned on
“oh right! your drink i almost forgot about it” minjeong says as she grabs it from your desk. she’s still stood between your legs but the distance from your bed to there wasn’t quite far away. lowering the drink to your face, she also wipes the cum away with her other hand. “didn’t know jimin unnie cums this much. goddamn…” you laugh at her, sipping the drink.
“minjeong… are you going to pull out yet?
“can we cuddle like this instead? you feel comfy” setting the drink back down, both facing each other, she lies right beside you, her cock still inside.
“yeah alright cutie, i guess i’ll stop studying. let’s just stay like this tonight” embracing her as she kisses your cheek.
“you guys cuddling without me?? wait for me” pouting so cutely at you both “let me join in” now the three of you are all cuddling on one bed. all cosy together you doze off to sleep completely ignoring the work you had to do. oh well you can try again tomorrow, but maybe they’ll help you relax again :))
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hmslusitania · 11 months
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Ted Lasso is a portal fantasy
I know, I know it's not in any way a speculative fiction show. I know. Bear with me for a second. Ted Lasso is a portal fantasy, but the real question is whether this is the story we know from the Wizard of Oz, or Mary Poppins. Ted himself is at once Dorothy and Mary, and I think my reaction to the end of Ted's story, specifically, depends on whether you take the show at it’s title, that it’s about Ted Lasso (Dorothy) or take the show at Ted’s word that it was never about him (Mary Poppins).
To Ted, he is very literally Dorothy.
He’s away from Kansas, he’s surrounded by the reminder that “there’s no place like home”, and he spent the finale wearing honest to god ruby red sneakers. The evil wizard stalked down from his curtained owners box and was removed from power. The lion got her courage, the tin man for his heart, and the scarecrow got his brain, and Dorothy went back to Kansas (leaving Toto behind). But unlike Dorothy, we didn't really get the build up that Ted had to go back to Kansas to get what he wanted -- Henry back in his life. Rebecca even offered him the choice to stay, and the means to bring Henry and even Michelle back to London with him. Exactly zero compelling reason was offered to explain why Ted wouldn't take that offer. But he's Dorothy, in a portal fantasy, and that's what Dorothy does -- she goes home. It is the ending of the vast majority of portal fantasies, no matter how much it will fuck up the protagonist (there's a whole series detailing that damage and undoing it by tumblr's own Seanan McGuire which I highly recommend btw). To me, this is an unsatisfying ending for Ted himself, since no reason was given for him to turn down Rebecca's offer.
However.
To the Richmond family, Ted is Mary Poppins.
One of the complaints I’ve seen about this season is that we don’t know where Ted is, emotionally. Much like Mary Poppins, whose internality as a character is, at best, an afterthought. Mary Poppins is not the point of Mary Poppins. The children she helps are the point of Mary Poppins, and when she leaves at the end, although you’re sad to see her go, you know the kids she left there have grown as people and will continue to grow by her example and her benevolent Julie Andrews ways. And by and large, you don’t really worry about the place Mary Poppins goes to. She’s Mary Poppins and she’ll do what she does and ours is not to question etc. ("Mary Poppins isn't a portal fantasy" yeah, I know, technically, but it's kind of an inside out portal fantasy since there's a character who came from another kind of realm, who swept in to be the answer to some problem, and then went home {or, wherever}; it's just we're seeing it from the pov of the locals rather than the person from the other realm.)
The Richmond Team have all grown as people under Ted's stewardship. As we’ve seen in the character progressions particularly of Roy, of Nate, of Rebecca, they will continue in the Richmond way that they’ve developed. Forever changed by Ted sailing in on his parasol, missing him certainly, but able to continue. More narrative weight is given to the Mary Poppins side of the story, and in this scenario, I take much, much less issue with Ted's the character's ending.
In conclusion, Ted Lasso is the story of Mary Poppins staring Dorothy Gale in the titular role.
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static-sulker · 7 months
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Okay, so I’ve been drawing an unholy amount of blood weave in between my homework recently that has given me a new headcanon. Gale cannot stop himself from infodumping or over explaining about literally anything. Like, not even JUST magic. It could be about like migration patterns of like hook horrors. He can does this for a WHILE if hes not interrupted. He especially does this about his times with Mystra and does NOT have a filter. He also struggles to think internally at times about things, leaving him to mutter constantly if needed. The responses are normally mixed when hes in speech mode. Astarion? hates it. But it grows on him after awhile. Like, first few days of camp, he gets pulled into a deep rooted explanation of conjuration magic and its benefits. He practically tunes him out the moment he starts talking. Mainly from constant practice of just letting people talk themselves into his charms back when he was still a slave to Cazador. But as time progresses, he finds himself actually seeking out Gale for "One of your silly history lessons" during a long rest. It's comforting enough to keep his mind off of things. This is one of the many things that make Astarion start to fall for Gale. Full stop.
Karlach LOVES it in the way a child likes talking with a parent about adult topics. She has NO idea what he is saying at times, very few topics actually giving her some background grasp on it, but she is happy to lend an ear when he needs to speak out his thought process. She originally begins to do this in order to get him more comfortable, seeming to be a bit out of his element. She doubles down when she finds out about the orb (especially during the first week or so after Elminster
Lae'zel thinks its fucking stupid for about 80% of act 1. Just a weird human not knowing when to shut up. That IS until she finds herself on the end of a ramble about old battles against elves and dwarves long before the events of most of their lives (he had to study it when he was an apprentice) and Lae'zel finally gets to sink her teeth (haha Astarion moment) onto a conversation about old war tactics.
Shadowheart finds it a bit strange, but never intrudes. She is a good listener and knows when and where she should speak off somebody when they get to have their big talks. She is the kind to at most play a devils advocate for his debate styled moments, just to keep his brain pumping. Gale lives for that type of shit. So Shadowheart lets him have it. In summary? Gale Dekarios would be the one who would make slideshows about his hyperfixations and present them to his roommates.
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weebswrites · 1 year
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Lucifer x GN!MC - Lucifer's First (wc: 1788) I saw a post saying that there's no way the bros are anywhere near the level of dominance we typically write them as during Nightbringer bc they literally Just fell from the Celestial Realm. Unless you're telling me Michael let them fuck there is no way any of them have done a single act of sin so I will be taking my darling Lucifer and we will be having our first kiss (and more in a reblog soon) thank you very much
Reluctantly, Lucifer had agreed to have lunch with you. You'd been asking for days - subtly, of course (at least to you).
This was the demon you were in love with. You'd shared long nights together completing paperwork and assignments side by side, as well as nights having the best sex of either of your lives. Being sent back in time was tearing you apart. You missed the Lucifer that held you as you fell asleep after a long day, even when he had a mountain of paperwork with a looming deadline. The Lucifer that knew your favorite tea, that walked you back to the HoL after school every day. You missed the way his lips would brush yours, hesitating for just a moment before kissing you with a passion you knew was incapable of description. You missed what came after that.
But you knew, and Solomon had spent days reminding (and consoling) you, that this was not that Lucifer. It was weird. You knew things about him that he didn't, that he wouldn't for centuries to come. It felt like you had to carefully plan each thing you said, as to not reveal you were from the future.
Despite all this: the secret knowledge, the memories yet to be made, and the growing urge you had to throw yourself into his arms, you wanted more. To be in a room with him, even having to be so mindful, was better than nothing. So finally, after days of bargaining, here you were. Seated across from the love of your life in his office, food and hot tea between you.
You found yourself getting lost staring at him. It was during one of these moments when he finally addressed it.
"MC. I know you've been very enthusiastic about having this lunch, but must you spend it staring at me?" he put his tea down and looked back at you, "Surely you have something you want to talk about..."
He was clearly giving you the space to talk, and not acknowledge the staring, which you gladly took.
"Oh! Yeah, I was actually wondering," your brain was moving so fast you thought he'd be able to see the gears turning through your eyes. "If you'd heard anything from Diavolo about the school?"
Lucifer's gaze remained unchanged, and almost as if he was waiting for you to say more.
"He said he wants it to educate the demons that live here, right? How would he decide who'll teach? And what to teach?"
Lucifer sat back in his chair a bit, a sign you knew meant he had something important to say. You mirrored the action, bringing your tea cup with you.
"He's been wondering the same thing, actually. With no previous and consistent forms of education, how do we decide who's qualified to teach? His thought so far is...us."
You couldn't hide the shock from your face. There was no way you could teach; you weren't even a demon! Luckily, Lucifer kept talking before your thoughts could spiral.
"Don't worry, I put a quick stop to that" he said, clearly having noticed your panic. "His next thought was asking friends of this father's if they'd be willing. They don't all have the most progressive attitude, but he thinks some of them would definitely be give it a shot. So that's our start. He was going to update you at the next official meeting."
You thought for a second before responding. You didn't know much about the intricacies of RAD's founding, something you wished you would have done more research on now that you were here.
"I think that's a good idea. As long as we go to the right people, or demons, first, we should have a strong backing for opening the school."
Lucifer nodded, "I agree. We can work on that list of demons not people at the meeting" he smirked to you as he lifted his tea cup, sending a fiery blush to your face. The rest of lunch consisted of small talk, you asking questions to 'learn' more about the eldest brother, and him giving basic responses. He asked a few questions about your history as well, which surprised you more than it should have. He did fall in love with you, too, after all.
"Well, I have paperwork to get to, if you don't mind I'd like to be alone now"
You smiled, "Only if you'll walk me to the door"
His eyes met yours before his smile joined it, and the two of you walked to the large wooden door of his office.
"Thanks for agreeing to this, Lucifer, I appreciate it"
"It wasn't nearly as...boring...as I thought" he half-teased.
You laughed at his honesty, and he couldn't help but crack a smile too. Your eyes met, and your heart ached. It was in moments like these when you wanted nothing more than to feel the strong safety of his arms. In an instant, your brain replayed the nights of loneliness you'd spent here, wishing for any ounce of Lucifer to help you fall asleep.
Before your brain was fully back from the memories, you were on your toes, leaning into Lucifer and wrapping your arms underneath his. His body stiffened, but you couldn't have pulled away if you tried. He smelt the same as he did in your time, and you felt more at home than you had since the moment you suddenly found yourself here. You nuzzled your head into the crook of his shoulder, and after a few seconds, you felt his arms wrap around you too.
You let out a breath into his chest, and like on cue, his arms tightened around you, returning the hug.
"Lucifer" you whispered into him, trying to memorize everything about this moment.
"I don't know why I feel so...drawn to you, MC. But I do. It's the first thing I've ever been unsure of."
You pulled back a bit to look at him, both of your arms still intertwined around each other.
"Even when I rebelled against Michael, I knew it was the right thing to do. It was what I believed in, and even knowing the chaos it would cause, I knew I had to do it."
You looked into his eyes, trying not to let tears well as he opened his heart to you. It was rare to talk about his falling in your time, so his willingness to confide in you was a moment that struck your heart.
"But you. You come out of nowhere, and are so invested in my life, and my brothers' lives. Why? I don't get it, and I don't get why I feel so compelled to let you. To accept you into our new home and let you form bonds with each of them," he paused for a moment, finally lifting his head to meet your eyes, "To let you form a bond with me."
You kissed him. His words filled your heart with such pure emotion, you didn't know how to express your love and gratitude in anything except a kiss. So you leaned in, softly pressing your lips to his as one of your hands moved to his hair.
He inhaled sharply through his nose, tensing again in surprise. But his hands tightened around your waist, and he didn't pull away. You kept your lips pressed to his, and in a moment, he returned the kiss.
It was nothing like the Lucifer from your time, but it was Lucifer. His kiss was messy and he struggled to match what your lips were doing. This was unexpected, but then it clicked. He was freshly fallen from the Celestial Realm. He'd probably never kissed anyone before. Or at least not much.
You smiled against him, and he kissed your smile. "Lucifer" you whispered, and he opened his eyes to look at you.
"Lucifer, was that your first kiss?"
For the first time outside of the confines of the bedroom, you saw him blush. The tops of his cheeks turned a light pink, and his eyes quickly fell to the floor.
His lack of immediate denial was answer enough, and you gently raised his chin with your index finger and thumb and brought your lips together again.
It was smoother already, him matching your rhythm quickly, hands holding you close. He moaned into your mouth at the same time you moaned into his, the mutual desire becoming clear.
"MC" he whispered against your lips, "I..."
He trailed off, unsure of what to say or what to do.
You wanted to pour your heart out. To tell him everything that had happened, and about the memories the two of you would one day make. But Solomon’s voice popped into your head, and you knew that would only make things worse, so you took a breath before talking.
“All I know is that kissing you is the only thing I’ve been able to think about since I got here,” you laughed a bit embarrassed, “But I realized just now that this is new territory. I don’t want to rush you into anything you aren’t ready for, but-”
He kissed you before you could get another word out. It was a single kiss, and only on about half your mouth, but it made your heart do a backflip nonetheless. “MC, I am terribly out of my element. You’ve clearly done this…had a relationship like this before. And I haven’t.” You were amazed at his honesty, but his Pride was something he’d learned to put aside for you in the future. Maybe he was already learning how to do it here, too. “I hadn’t thought about kissing you. Honestly, I hadn’t thought about kissing at all until the moment your lips were on mine. But now, I know it’s all I’m going to be thinking about.”
His eyes held yours, as if waiting for you to finish his thought.
“You’re a demon now. Your body might want things that it hadn’t as an angel, and your mind might not like that” you cringed at how much you sounded like a middle school health teacher, but persisted, hoping it would help Lucifer feel more at ease. “I’m willing to do anything you’re comfortable with. And we can learn along the way.”
Equally as embarrassed as you, he smiled. “Thank you. I’d like to kiss some more, if that’s okay.”
You had to restrain a laugh, the mental image of the Lucifer in your time seeing the Lucifer of now was something you’d definitely be telling him when you got back to the present. But for now, you cupped his face in your hands and nodded, leaning in and kissing him again.
A/N: PART TWO WILL BE UP AS SOON AS I’M DONE WRITING IT!! no v cards will be taken but things will get steamy >:)
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ms-scarletwings · 2 months
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Irken Zim’s 8 biggest fans
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For funsies! As we are well aware, this guy has a lot of gut-haters and censurers across the galaxy. Over his long years of life, he’s gained a proud infamy from every corner of the Irken empire, all the way to the fringes beyond, and the number of critics snapping at his heels only grows with every adventure. Whole civilizations sit at their seat’s edge waiting for this invader’s downfall, but what of those who defy all odds, expectations, maybe even logic? Even devils somehow find worshippers, even criminals get fan mail, and even Invader Zim has someone rooting for him within the 4th wall. Weirdly quite a handful of them, actually, let’s recount.
8. Table Headed Service Drone Bob
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It’s humorous, how odd circumstance can make for strange advocacy. The show’s universe operates on the rule of funny, and Bob just so happened to be in the right place and time to comedically become the only Irken alive with something to gain from Zim’s success, and so much to lose for his failure. The sheer unfairness of what the Tallest put him through along with Zim serving some hope for a miracle ticket out of his low standing seemed to snap something in him, even if just for an episode. It would make sense for anyone in his position to have a much more dampened love for their society and leaders, to the point where cheering on its greatest enemy would be preferable than another moment of being a doormat. An underdog rooting for an underdog, even if for purely selfish and coincidental reasons.
7. The Judgementia Control brains
Even more deliciously ironic, isn’t it- That Zim’s praise was be sung once from the very bottom rung of Irken society and then again from the highest spike? What better to follow up poor Bobby than another victim of astronomical circumstance, or rather, three victims together? The nutshell recap of “The Trial’s” plot climax spells out the tragedy of, what is basically Irk’s highest court officials, to become he first ever victims of Zim’s malignant code becoming a contagion. They’ve joined the Fanclub, even if against their will, and all the better for Zim this time to have support from such a high place, seeing that it literally saved his hide in this instance.
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6. Dib Membrane
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Yeah, that’s freaking right. He’s on the list. You think being a hype man and a mortal rival are mutually exclusive? You either haven’t been watching enough DBZ or you haven’t been watching enough Hellsing and should fix that. Anyway, and I’m speaking within the actual canon dynamic of these two… it is very important to Zim that Dib is perceived as a formidable opponent to bluster his own ego, and vise versa. Dib is not in any self-serving position to accept what an actual mess Zim’s operation is, even though he has more evidence of the alien’s horrible tactics, nonsense plans, failures, etc. than anyone else on the planet. Gaz can see Zim for exactly what he is and why fighting him doesn’t have to be this 24/7 urgent priority. Dib refuses to get that because stopping Zim’s pop-up schemes only keeps the score tied for them. They’ve both been at this long enough to get incredibly frustrated with the lack of progression regarding the big picture goals, taking over the world, and exposing a live alien to the world, respectively. I don’t think he has to keep describing this space goblin as some ultra-cunning master of villainy, or GIR as this nefarious minion because that’s what he actually thinks of them, but because if he admits otherwise, that’s not a great reflection of his own merit for the obvious reasons. Just the presentation of another dimension’s version of himself succeeding against Zim before him causes a spiral of self doubt, just as it can bring Zim to a minor panic watching other invaders leaving him in the dust. Dib wants this guy to be a challenge worth the victory lap when he finally gets what he’s been fighting so hard for.
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When Zim is getting on some truly idiotic antics, Dib doesn’t actually revel in his disorganized stupidity, but meets it with a baffled or annoyed disappointment. Like me watching a character I thought was super badass suddenly do something that reveals them to just be utterly lame. Too often he almost comes off like he is critiquing Zim’s performance as a villain rather than,, you know, the fact that Zim is a villain in the first place. It more than once has led to accidentally giving the guy new ideas or pointers on how to do his own job better once in a while. If I were in Dib’s place I would under NO circumstances be giving Zim advice or corrections on what he’s doing “badly” when it comes to the invader thing, but, whatever makes you feel cool & smart, you little dork. There’s also the whole “Dib’s hatred for Zim belies his geeky fixation with aliens broadly” angle I’ve mentioned here or there before, and don’t mind to again. Studying/stalking Zim is only partially about defeating him. His curiosity over Irken tech, biology, etc. is still coming from a place of genuine scientific passion, as literally all of us know. And of course, on occasion the two make for unlikely allies against much bigger shared enemies.
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5. Minimoose
Oh come on, how much could I even have to say about this moose-weapon? He has two fathers and is fully aware that Zim is one of them. Assuming we all here know about the cute Florpus quote; no need to recap the whole existence of the lil guy.
4. Invader Skoodge
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Now this guy… this guy ain’t right. Exactly here, at this (I say with love) loser of an invader, we reach two tipping points when it comes to Zim-affinity. One, the tipping point where Zim ceases to ask for and ceases to appreciate the toadying. Two, the point where I actually kind of struggle to find any rational explanation for the toady’s behavior. Like I’ve tried and I genuinely don’t know how to put together how Skoodge keeps jumping into this position other than ‘it’s that funny’ or some weird familiarity from smeethood factor. All of the invaders know what Zim has done and what he’s capable of. He’s a consistent terrorist of his own kin and defamed as the greatest disgrace to the Empire. The two options for how to feel about Zim as any random Irken soldier are fear, and/or loathing. If Skoodge were just neutral or indifferent of Zim, that’d be pretty freaking odd. But Skoodge interacts with Zim on the level of at least a lukewarm acquaintance, readily even deferring to his command, despite the fact that he nearly dies every single time he does so. He survives miles of being chased by a monster on Hobo-13, he makes it to the finish line, and his first reaction is to let Zim know he’s made it in one piece. He decides to lay low and slack off after getting fired (into the blighted surface of Blorch) and out of the entire universe to choose from, he decides to go hole up at Zim’s place and stay conveniently out of the way for some time. Dude finally shows himself in the unfinished scripts, and it’s to motherfucking help Zim troll around with Dib. I’m up at night wondering what is going on in Skoodge’s head because he’s n o t an idiot. He’s a real invader in all other respects, just as competent and nationalistic as the rest of them. Easily suggestible, yes, but not stupid. There’s basically no way for him to be ignorant of the big lie the Tallest sold Zim, yet he chooses not to utter a peep on the matter. Pity? A bizarre sense of solidarity?? A delusional one sided friendship??? Don’t look at me like I know other than the fact that he’s on our protag’s team, in spirit. The wannabe Irwin to Zim’s Billy, essentially.
3. Keef
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So yeah of all things to blow Skoodge’s unhealthy attachment clean out of the water, we stumbled into this freak of a human child. Keef is a loyal compadre to a fault. A huge, creepy fault. Kid was originally supposed to make a return as well, wherein he was no less of a stubborn stalker than already proven once. And extra points for the irrational selflessness. Even while demonstrating an understanding of what Zim did in Dark Harvest, possibly even with the memory of that whole squirrel incident, he still wishes nothing but for the ability to put a smile on his green friend’s face.
2. The Amoeboid Cult
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And when none thought that the scary conviction Zim garnered on Earth could be his biggest fans, you find this little ditty in the comics, and it starts turning into an irresponsible god analogy fairly quick. The short recap is that following a crash on a strange planet, the Voot Runner starts leaking fluids that inadvertently spark abiogenesis, which results in the creation of a rapidly evolving race of blob-things. Seizing an opportunity, Zim at first demands their followership, and then shortly after gets fed up with it as he did the previous fanatic on the list. Nonetheless, the cell people continue to reproduce and age thousands of years their time in the span of a couple minutes, never losing that zeal for their unintentional creator, even going so far as to repair the cruiser despite Zim’s rejection of them. Out of what little they gathered about him during his short visit, they correctly learned he’s a destructive god who planned to abandon them as soon as he could. Their last wish as a civilization? For this god to also obliterate them, as final treat. Such was their devotion that it even left Zim himself completely baffled for a moment when its full depth was revealed.
1. GIR
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You watch this show, right? Yeah? Henchman and sidekick number one? Chaotic thing this whole fandom can’t decide to perceive as an adoptive child or a talking pet? He may not be as competent in pleasing Zim’s wishes as minimoose, or as focused, but his heart and loyalty are ultimately with their intended master, unconditionally and for as long as this setting has continued.
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bbcphile · 4 months
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Mysterious Lotus Casebook and Complex PTSD Representations: Part I
One of my favorite things about Mysterious Lotus Casebook is how surprisingly nuanced and unusual its portrayal of complex PTSD is. So many shows either introduce character trauma to make the character Sad and Brooding, Angry and Violent (if they’re a villain) or Hesitant to Start a Relationship (if it’s a romance), and that’s usually as in-depth as it gets. If they address the unique after effects of child abuse that lead to complex PTSD at all, it’s usually either explain why a character is a homicidal monster (which is all sorts of problematic) or it’s limited to a single phobia, which can be overcome by the Power of Love, or it’s just something that crops up occasionally for Plot and then forgotten about the rest of the time. 
Mysterious Lotus Casebook gives us two deeply traumatized characters–Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng–who each have clear symptoms of complex PTSD, and yet, their cPTSD manifests completely differently because of the types of traumas that caused it and their relationships to the people causing the traumas. And their manifestations of cPTSD affect just about every level of their being, including their sense of self, their decision-making, and their relationships with others, and it includes some of the incredibly important manifestations of cPTSD that are almost never shown in media while avoiding the most insulting stereotypes! 
PTSD vs cPTSD
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder caused by experiencing a single (or short lived) traumatic event (an accident, assault, medical emergency, fighting in a war, etc), where the symptoms last for longer than a month. Symptoms include things like reexperiencing the event (flashbacks), avoidance (of things related to the event), changes in mood (depression, anger, fear, etc), and issues with emotional regulation (hypervigilance–being constantly on the lookout for threats–irritability/angry outbursts, etc.).
Complex PTSD happens if someone has experienced long term, chronic/repeated trauma that induces hopelessness and no chance of escape (survivors of extended child abuse, human trafficking, domestic violence, prisoners of war, slavery, etc.). It’s also often interpersonal in ways a car crash or medical emergency is not, and is particularly linked with chronic trauma during childhood: chronic stress hormones introduce literal physical changes in a growing brain, particularly the amygdala (which processes fear), hippocampus (which is responsible for learning/memory), and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for executive function), so it can affect every aspect of life and also affect a child’s progression through developmental stages. In addition to these physical changes to the brain, the prolonged trauma–particularly the helplessness–distorts a child’s sense of self, the perpetrator, and the world in ways that alter their decision making, their memory, and their future relationships. 
For instance, whereas a traumatic event that caused PTSD might make you depressed or not trust the person who harmed you (or to fear driving), the trauma from cPTSD might make you suicidal, blame yourself for your victimization, decide to isolate to avoid interpersonal relationships to keep from getting hurt, or become obsessed with never being harmed again.
Basically, cPTSD has the core symptoms from PTSD with some extra challenges, including issues with emotional regulation, self-concept, interruptions in consciousness, difficulties with relationships, perceptions of the perpetrator, and systems of meaning.
DFS and LLH: CPTSD Symptoms
There’s so much more to say about this than I can cover in this superficial introduction, so this will be the first of a series of metas; I’m hoping to go into more depth about some of these categories in future posts (the DFS and emotional regulation/violence one is already drafted, so stay tuned). 
Difficulties with Relationships (problems with trust, communication, missing red flags): Both DFS and LLH have a history of trusting the wrong people and not trusting the right people, both in the past and in the present of the show: in the past, LLH missed the fact that SGD hated him and DFS missed the fact that JLQ was obsessed with him, and as a result, both sects were destroyed, many people died, and the two almost destroyed each other. If they had communicated with each other instead of fighting at the donghai battle, they might have realized they were being set up and could have worked together, but their difficulties with trust after perceived betrayal made that impossible for them. They both have a history of overlooking red flags in the present–DFS in particular, keeping the red-flag-personified-JLQ around despite her history of poisoning people, including himself–and they both tend to struggle with relationships in the present: LLH runs away from and/or drugs the people who care about him, and DFS sends endless mixed messages by not telling Li Lianhua most of his plans to help him. 
Self-Concept (Self-hatred and self-fragmentation): Li Lianhua is basically the poster child for having a negative self concept: he has an overdeveloped sense of self-blame and responsibility, even believing he deserves to die for leading his men to their deaths, and once he learns he was manipulated and SGD was behind it all, he seems to think it’s his own fault that he was manipulated, lied to, and abused. His self-loathing is so extreme that he imagines his earlier self, Li Xiangyi, to have died, and tries as much as possible to be nothing like that earlier persona. His repeated insistence that Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are NOT the same person is reminiscent of the fragmentary sense of self that comes with more extreme trauma, like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other-Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), where traumatic experiences are so painful that people form different alters, or differentiated self-states, that can have different names and skills and memories and identities. 
Di Feisheng doesn’t have the self-hatred or guilt that LLH does, and it seems like he tries to skip over questions of self worth, blame, or hatred by focusing exclusively on staying true to his code of ethics he’s developed for himself and focusing on gaining the strength necessary to fight for his freedom from mind control and the Di Fortress. But even though he’s kept his Di name, kept his goals the same since escaping Di Fortress, and hasn’t tried to separate himself from his trauma the way LLH did with LXY, he’s even more willing than LLH to take on different identities: it’s literally one of his martial arts skills. The Bone Constriction Skill lets him become someone else for a time, whether that’s a child or Shi Hun. It fits well with his willingness to be whoever he needs to be to accomplish his goals: he’s perfectly willing to be seen as a heartless villain if it lets him protect LLH, and he’s willing to flirt with and pretend to be jealous of JLQ to get information from her, and he’s willing to be LLH’s a-Fei, both with and without his memories.
Interruptions in Consciousness (Amnesia and nightmares for Everyone): LLH and DFS both have nightmares and flashbacks/memories of traumatic events, and as mentioned above, both have interesting hints of having fragmented/fluid senses of self. They both also dissociate, or separate themselves from the present when dealing with traumatic things:  LLH spaces out and gets stuck in his past memories about SGD when talking to FDB after burying SGD, and DFS dissociates from physical pain so as not to make noise both after he’s been stabbed and poisoned with Wuxin Huai and again when JLQ is torturing him in her water dungeon.
They both also have dissociative amnesia that takes away trauma memories, although one is from a poisonous incense plus the magic of qi macgyvering:  LLH forgot the existence of his older brother who died in front of him, and DFS as a-Fei had just about all of his memories (except a few of killing as a child) taken away. Amnesia is a huge part of cPTSD, because it’s the brain’s way of trying to protect you from truths that you might not survive. It can manifest as blocking out one single traumatic event, a bunch of thematically or temporally linked traumatic events, a skill set related to the trauma, or, in the case of something like DID or OSDD, just about everything. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that the show gives us one example of definite traumatic amnesia through LLH, and then seems to almost transform the experience of having DID and being a new part and finding yourself with a new name and very little else into an exaggerated fantasy setting (interestingly, people often report experiencing debilitating headaches when they try to regain memories behind the amnesia barrier). I doubt this is what they were actually going for, since DID is almost universally portrayed incorrectly and offensively in media (one of the alters is almost always portrayed as a serial killer, but that’s a rant for another day), but the different names and the presence of amnesia with LLH made it a fascinating enough parallel that I had to mention it.
 Problems with Emotional Regulation (Lashing in vs. lashing out): Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are polar opposites when it comes to struggles with emotional regulation: whereas LXY turns his anger inward, directing it all toward self-hate in what’s often called a “toxic shame spiral,” both after the donghai battle and after he finds out about SGD’s role in his shifu’s death, DFS lashes out physically at those who have harmed him, usually via choking people, although he is usually exerting an impressive amount of control over his emotions and strength. To put in perspective just how different their emotional strategies are and how much effort DFS puts into emotional regulation, compare how much more calm he is than LLH during any revelation of past betrayal or painful information, any scene where they confront the people who have abused them, or any scene where they learn they’ve been wrong about something big; LLH is most likely having an emotional flashback (re-experiencing the emotions from the earlier traumas) and DFS is probably compartmentalizing them or dissociating from them to process later/never so he can stay semi-functional and not show a potential opponent a weak spot. 
NOTE: This means that DFS is loooong overdue for a very dramatic breakdown when it eventually all catches up to him and he can’t distract himself from it anymore.
Perceptions of Perpetrators: In this way only, Di Feisheng has one advantage: he knows the head of Di Fortress is a cruel, abusive tyrant. While he clearly still fears him, even as a physically strong adult (he has nightmares, flashbacks, and dedicates his life to being free from him, which means he still to some extent feels young, small, and helpless when he thinks of him), DFS knows that he hates him and wants to be free of him. This is probably part of why he’s spared some of the self-hatred LLH experiences: he knows he didn’t deserve the abuse because seeing it happen to other children means he knows the abuse wasn’t a personal reflection on him. It does, however, motivate him to want to be stronger and invulnerable so as to never be helpless again, and that obsession is what drives him to have a single-minded focus on reaching the pinnacle of the jianghu.  
It’s so much more complicated for Li Lianhua (and for a more detailed analysis, check out this meta): the childhood perpetrators were manifold–a slew of bandits, whichever children and adults on the street would abuse him for existing and being poor–it probably felt like life itself was to blame. It’s no wonder that when his shifu and shiniang took him in, they were the ultimate rescuers whom he hero-worshipped, so when he felt he made a mistake and his life fell apart, he blamed himself: at least there would be someone to blame that way and something he could do about it (try to kill his past self and hate everything about him). It’s also very telling that LLH doesn’t blame JLQ or YBQ all that much when he learns they poisoned him, and that he’s more angry that SGD murdered their shifu than he is that SGD set him up, hated him, and was the real mastermind behind everything he had blamed himself for; he struggles to stay angry at people who harm him, and would rather blame and hate himself for being tricked than hate the person who tricked him. So, whereas DFS tries to destroy the people who abused him, LLH tries to destroy himself.
If you read this far, thanks! I’m probably going to be posting the DFS and emotional regulation/violence against perpetrator meta next, because it’s drafted, but if there are any of these you desperately want me to talk about more sooner rather than later, let me know! :D 
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jigujellee · 9 months
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COOL WITH YU
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(gif creds here)
pairing : karina x fem!reader
summary : karina yu hates your guts, but she's starting to realize she doesn't. | read part 1 here!
word count : 5k 💀
warnings : mentions of death, mentions of gambling addictions, swearing, red flag step mom green flag dad, karina is just not good w her words, shitty non proof-read writing (im v rusty im so sorry)
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your tears cascaded down your cheeks as you watched your father kneel beside your bedridden mother, gripping onto her hand as he sobbed uncontrollably. you both knew this day would eventually come; the doctors constantly reminded you of her poor prognosis but neither of you were ready to accept it.
your eyes shift from your father to your mother. you could tell she left peacefully seeing that her she had a faint smile on her face, one that you always loved to see growing up. as you admired her features, your chest begins to ache as her last words to you repeatedly echo in your head;
“you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n. thank you for being my sunshine even on my darkest days. never forget that i’m always with you in here,” she says as she holds her hand to your chest and feels your heartbeat, causing a smile grows on her face.
“and i love you so much, my y/n. i always will even if we’re galaxies and dimensions apart”
it was too much to take in at the young age of 12. your mind was blank, not a single thought occupying your brain. you couldn’t process the fact that you’ve lost one of the most important people in your life on a random tuesday evening. it’s clear your father couldn’t handle it either, seeing how he hasn’t been able to stop his own tears since the time of death was announced. you move towards him and hug him from behind and you too start to sob with him.
naturally, it would take some time to truly accept the fact that your mother was gone. the pain still lingered for both you and your father but things were slowly shaping up. you found joy in the things you loved once again and you were able to surround yourself with people who cared about you. it wasn’t until your dad had announced that he would be getting married to a literal reincarnation of the devil that all the progress you were making had gone down the drain. how could he remarry so quickly, and to someone who wasn’t anything like your mother?
her name was lorraine. she used to work with your dad and kept seeing him after your mother’s passing. she seemed really sweet and caring at first but she was quick to show her true colours once she got with your dad. unbeknownst to the both of you, lorraine had a terrible gambling addiction. the anger on your dad’s face when he found out she used all the money your mom put away for your college tuition wasn’t even close to the anger you felt bubbling in your chest. to make matters worse, lorraine didn’t seem bothered by it at all nor did she give any indication that she would try and help earn it back, and you swore that you wouldn’t bother trying to include her in your life.
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you didn’t have a large circle of friends so avoiding people was easy for you. if anything, you enjoyed roaming around campus on your own, trying to find undiscovered places to study and get work done. the only person you haven’t avoided was ryujin, a friend you met who lives a few dorms down from you, but that was only because she forces her way into your life and you just always seem to give in to her.
the two of you found a nice shaded area in the quad to try and study for your upcoming midterms. it was silent for the most part with the breeze and some birds chirping being the only thing you could hear, but that silence was broken when ryujin suddenly asks you a question.
“how come you don’t hang around karina anymore?”
the mention of her name is enough to make you stop writing notes. you take a brief look at her before smacking her on the arm, causing her to yelp.
“damn girl, i was just asking! no need to get violent,” ryujin rubs the now slightly reddened area in attempts to soothe the pain.
“but i brought her up because i think she’s worried about you. like, i swear i’ve seen her steal glances at you whenever you and i study at the library or whenever we pass by her”
“aw how sweet,” you say sarcastically, not even batting an eye towards your friend as you continue to focus on your notes.
“i swear i caught you looking back at her too at one point”
“okay, now you’re just being delusional”
“am i though?” the question is left unanswered and you force her to focus on studying. ryujin smirks at her small victory.
if you were in fact looking at the girl in question, it probably wasn’t even on purpose. besides, why would you even bother staring at someone who doesn’t care about you?
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to say you were tired was an understatement; you were absolutely drained. studying for midterms and completing a handful of assignments meant that you were losing more and more sleep each night, and it was definitely catching up to you.
“you look like you died and were forced to come back to life,” ryujin jokes as she hands you a large black coffee and a red bull. was it healthy? definitely not, but you needed to stay awake during your classes.
“good morning to you too, jinnie. thanks for the energy”
“i know, i’m everyone’s ball of sunshine!” she yells, a bit too close to your eardrums for your liking.
“i meant the drinks, idiot”
“it’s okay, i know what you really mean” ryujin playfully nudges your side and you can’t help but playfully roll your eyes at her. you slide the red bull into your bag and take a sip of the coffee before dropping ryujin off to her class and making your way to yours. thankfully, your classes are in the same building so you don’t need to travel too far.
you quietly enter the lecture hall, your mind too occupied with what you were going to study next once you finished classes today. you plop yourself down in your usual seat, not paying much attention to the few students already there. it wasn’t until a granola bar was placed on top of the notes you were trying to read that you finally paid attention to something other than microbiology notes.
when you look up, your eyes are met with a girl sporting a jean jacket with a black tank top underneath matched with grey sweats and topped with a plain black yankees baseball cap. she looked like those girls on pinterest who had such simple but eye-catching outfits. when she looks up, you realize it’s the person you’ve been trying to avoid for days now. she doesn’t utter a word and makes her way down to her usual spot three rows in front of you. you stare at the granola bar for a moment as you mentally debate whether you should eat it or not. the professor’s voice catches you off guard and you quickly shove the granola bar into the front pocket of your bag, deciding to eat it sometime later when she wasn’t around.
this class is one of your favourites as you personally love learning about anything ancient greece, but today you find it difficult to pay attention in class. your eyelids are significantly heavier than usual and you feel your head start to bob up and down. you figure it shouldn’t hurt to close your eyes for a moment so you lay your head down behind your laptop to try and get some shut eye, but it doesn’t last long because you feel the neighbouring student nudge your elbow to which you jerk your head up and find the professor giving you a stern look.
“i asked you a question, y/n”
“i’m sorry, could you please repeat it?”
the professor sighs but continues on anyway, “which two generals were fighting in the second punic war?”
you knew the answer, you felt it on the tip of your tongue. but all you could do was let out a few “uhs” and “uhms” before a familiar voice speaks in your place.
“it was between scipio africanus and hannibal”
“well done, karina. i’d also like to remind everyone that sleeping in my class is not allowed. either show up to my class or don’t come at all, but i don’t want you to come in here and treat it like your bedroom,” the professor doesn’t break eye contact with you as he spoke to the class. you shrink back in your seat and keep your eyes glued to your laptop, failing to catch karina looking back at you with worry plastered all over her face.
luckily you were able to keep yourself awake for the remainder of the lecture after chugging down the coffee ryujin got you. once 3 hours have gone by and everyone is packing up to leave, the professor asks to have a word with you so you sit and wait for everyone to leave the lecture hall before making your way down towards the front of the class. your professor has already packed up and sits on the desk, swinging his legs back and forth like a child in a high chair.
“is everything alright, y/n?” he asks gently.
“yeah, i’m- i’m just exhausted. it’s midterm season and all the profs are dropping assignments left and right, and i thought i planned everything out properly but i’m a bit behind so i’ve been staying up late to finish things,” you ramble, pausing to catch your breath. “but this doesn’t excuse me falling asleep in your class, i’m sorry. it won’t happen again”
“it’s alright, i was just worried. i’m sorry for announcing it to the class, i didn’t realize what i said until afterwards which is why i wanted to speak with you briefly to apologize,” you give a small smile and tell him not to worry about it. he dismisses you and reminds you take breaks when you can. it felt nice to have a professor care for their students, which was another reason why you enjoyed this class so much.
you feel a bit better after speaking with your professor; your steps felt lighter and you suddenly felt energized to get some studying done so you plan to head for the library. but unfortunately, the campus goddess had also wanted to have a word with you after class seeing that she waited for you outside. you attempt to walk in the opposite direction but karina is quick to follow you with a skip in her step.
“hey, i practically saved your ass in there,” she boasts, now trying to walk backwards since you wouldn’t stop walking. “now we’re even after what you did last time” you felt your eyes roll at her comment and you pick up your pace to move past her and get to the library. you’re stopped yet again when you feel her slender fingers tightly wrap around your wrist, pulling you back to face her.
“can you stop ignoring me for once? i just want to talk to you”
“let go, you’re hurting me” karina looks down and her eyes widen at how strong her grip was on you, and she’s quick to drop your wrist.
“sorry. where are you off to in such a hurry anyway?”
“cut the bullshit karina, what do you want to say?” the purple haired girl purses her lips and inhales deeply through her nose before continuing.
“why do you have so much hatred towards me?” you look at her completely baffled, then laugh in disbelief.
“are you serious? you’re asking me why i hate you, when you’re the one who did it first? don’t you remember what you said to me when i was asked to help you with your catch up assignments? you said you were going to get your grade up, with or without my help, and then you’d be through with me. and let’s not forget all the times you shut me down when all i wanted was to be your friend and be close to you, yet you want to stand here in front of me want and ask why i hate you? damn i didn’t take you for an idiot, karina,” the last sentence struck a chord in the girl.
“excuse me?” it was karina’s turn to act baffled. “i was just stressed and having a really difficult time, but clearly you wouldn’t understand that because of how cold and ignorant you are,” she responds, voice slightly raised. if you think people weren’t staring at you before, they definitely were now.
“oh yes, because you, of all people, definitely understand how i’m feeling just because you overheard that one phone call, right? like be fucking for real” karina’s words begin to sink in and only then does she realize the weight of her words; this isn’t how she wanted this conversation to go at all. you walk closely towards her and you watch karina uncross her arms and keeps them at her sides once your faces are merely inches apart from each other.
“don’t make comments about my personal life because i don’t make comments about yours. (shoutout ate bobbie, iykyk) i never wanted to hate you karina, i’m just here returning the fucking favour,” you push past the girl and leave her in a now crowded corridor with people whispering around you trying to understand what just happened. the campus goddess clenches her fists and tries to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes. she was reminded of when you yelled at her the last time, saying the same thing: that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with karina.
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after your little spat with karina, your week has been anything but good. you lost all your motivation to study, you started to skip a few of your classes and opted to stay at your dorm because you couldn’t deal with any human interaction right now. you replay the fight over and over in your head, and you honestly find it hard to believe that one person can have such a drastic effect on your mood.
you stay in bed after hearing your alarm go off, staring at the ceiling. it’s been your dream to come to this school but you clearly weren’t enjoying the experience to the fullest. you’re miles away from your dad, you have a demon of a step mother, and the prettiest most popular girl on campus hated you and you still don’t even have any clue as to why. your first year at smu wasn’t anything like college life in the movies and a part of you was starting to regret coming here.
letting out a deep sigh, you turn to your side and find the framed picture of your mom sitting on your nightstand. you reach to grab it and gloss over her features, her smile standing out to you the most as many would say that you have her smile. tears start to trickle in and you pull the frame close to your chest, hoping that you could somehow feel the warmth of her hugs once more.
“i miss you so much, mom. i wish you were here to tell me things will be okay.”
you stay like that for a few minutes, your tears now drying on your face. you feel the weight of your eyelids become heavier and you could feel yourself drifting into sleep yet again, but your phone begins to violently vibrate. thinking you must’ve set another alarm by mistake, you reach to grab the device and find it’s not an alarm but a phone call. as you usually do with lorraine, you answer the phone but say nothing until she speaks first.
“i’ve been trying to call you for ages now! why aren’t you picking up your phone? i swear to god y/n, you will be the reason for your father’s death with all the stress you’ve been causing him!”
“how do you know you’re not the one causing him to stress?”
“please sweetie, you wouldn’t know how much i do for him since you rarely ever check in with us”
“oh i check in with him all the time, it’s just you i don’t check in with. you’re no one to me”
“you’re such an ungrateful little prick, you know that? you’re just like your mother, you’re both just so unreliable and you leave your poor father all alone here and-”
“god, just shut the fuck up!” you spring up in bed, clutching the picture frame tightly out of anger.
“my parents wanted me to come here! they knew it was always my dream to come to smu, but after your dumbass self spent all the money we had on your stupid gambling addiction, he had to work a shit ton of jobs just so he could pay for me to go to school! and what did you do? what did you do besides stay at home, unemployed, gossiping with your friends over the phone on the couch every fucking day?” your vision becomes more blurry by the second due to the new rush of tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
your relationship with your dad became a teeny bit rocky after announcing his marriage with lorraine, but it wasn’t completely terrible. you didn’t have the heart to hate your dad for meeting someone new. if anything, you understood that you had to rely on each other more than ever because he’s all you have left and you didn’t want some random lady to get in the way of that.
one day, your dad walks into your room and sits beside you on your bed where he hands you a plane ticket and what looked like an admission’s folder with smu’s crest on the front.
“i’ve saved up enough for your first two years, and i’ll continue working hard so you can finish altogether. i know it’s always been your dream to study at smu and i don’t want you to lose this opportunity because of financial setbacks”
“but i don’t want leave you here dad, i’m fine attending somewhere nearby. i just don’t want you to be alone with her,” you protest as you wrap your arms tightly around him. he leaves a soft kiss on your temple reassuring you that he’ll be fine, and made you promise to call him everyday.
“you’re going to make mom and i proud like you always do, y/n. don’t worry about me, just live your dreams for the both of us”
you aggressively wipe your eyes before continuing to yell into the phone mic.
“if you think you’re my dad’s knight in shining armour who saved him, then you’re so delusional. don't speak about me or my mother again, and for fuck's sake, stop calling me! i don’t need you to check in on me and i don’t need you in my life!” you hang up without letting her utter a word in, making sure to block her number right after. you fall back onto your bed with tears falling one after the other, these ones being out of anger and not sadness.
your phone begins to ring again and you nearly throw it across the room, but seeing that it was your dad calling, you immediately pick it up.
“hi my lo- wait, are you crying? why are you crying, what happened?”
“nothing dad, lorraine just called. again.” you hear your father sigh and watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
“i’m so sorry sweetie, i tried making it clear to her that you didn’t want her contacting you, but she’s still stubborn as per usual”
“why are you still with her?”
“to be honest, i don’t know. if i knew she was going to act like this, especially with you, i wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. i’m seriously considering filing a divorce,” his response slightly shocks you.
“well, don’t divorce her because of me. if you like her, then you like her and i don’t want to get in the way of that”
“honey, you know you come first before anything and anyone. both you and your mom,” you begin to feel a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest at the mention of her. it’s silent for a moment before you ask a question you’ve been wanting to ask for sometime now.
“do you miss mom?”
“oh y/n, i miss her every single day. i still can’t find it in my heart to believe she’s really gone”
“you were so in love with her, weren’t you?”
“were? i am still very much in love with her. there is no one else in this world that could possibly make me feel the way your mother did. although there’s a possibility of meeting new people, no one else will come close to her” you smile at the words being spilled by your dad. it was so endearing to hear him speak about his love for your mom and it eases your mind knowing that he hadn’t easily replaced her with someone like lorraine.
“there’s the pretty smile i love so much,” you giggle at your dad's sudden comment, your eyes meeting his own along with his signature big and toothy grin.
“i love you dad”
“i love you too, sweetie. it’s you and mom in my heart forever, okay?” you nod your head and flash him another smile.
“i’m coming home once the semester ends so text me what you want me to bring home”
“that’s my girl! and don’t stress too much. i’m okay, you’re okay, and everything is going to be okay. i got you always,” he blows you a kiss and waves goodbye before hanging up, the anger from earlier dissipating almost immediately.
you don’t realize you’re still holding onto the picture of your mom even after both phone calls. you look at it one more time and replicate the smile that your mother had before giving the picture a soft kiss and placing it back in its spot on the nightstand. with a sudden surge of energy and motivation thanks to your dad, you decide to be productive today and start by cleaning yourself and your room, which was a complete disaster due to midterm season.
once you’ve finished your little reset moment, you hear a knock on the door. you weren’t expecting anyone so you’re taken aback slightly at the sudden visitor. twisting the doorknob with much hesitation, you open the door and find no one there to your surprise. you peek your head out and look in both directions to see who it was, but you only caught glimpse of what looked like a jean jacket turning the corner. at first, you think you were just being pranked but once you look towards the ground, you find a shin ramen cup and some spam with a sticky note reading “don’t skip your meals. you can’t live on coffee and red bull forever - rn” you bring the items in and begin to prepare the food while thinking of who rn could possibly be.
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the following days were spent entirely in the library trying to catch up on school work. thankfully, you were able to get your assignments out of the way and you had time to focus on just studying now. you make your way to your usual spot in the library, large coffee in hand and headphones on your head, but you notice someone is already sitting there. you recognize the purple hair that was tied in a messy bun under a familiar black baseball cap. it had been awhile since you fought with the girl, so you were hesitant to approach her and tried to look for other seats in the library. to your demise, other tables and areas were fully occupied except for the seat across from her, so you walked towards the empty spot anyway.
karina has her headphones on as well so she doesn’t hear you approach her. she’s startled once she noticed someone take the seat in front of her, but she’s even more surprised at who takes the seat.
you don’t say anything and even avoid any eye contact with her, but you can feel her piercing gaze as she watches you like a hawk while you unpack your things. as soon as you get settled, karina takes her headphones off and taps you lightly on the hand, motioning for you to take your headphones off too indicating that she wanted to talk. you pause your song and take them off like she requested and karina takes a deep breath before speaking, as she usually does with you.
“i understand if you still do not wish to speak to me after this, but please hear me out this one time” she’s barely whispering and you need to lean in a bit closer to fully hear her. but you stay silent and she takes it as her cue to continue.
“growing up, my mom always pushed me to study and work hard. i rarely left my house, and if i did, it was just with family. when i came here to smu, i finally had the freedom to do whatever i want whenever i want, but unfortunately, that mindset of constantly needing to do well and staying independent still stays with me. i’ve lost a lot of friends because of it; i lost you because of it,” she shyly admits. “but that should not be an excuse for how i’ve been treating you since you got here, and i’m really sorry. you just wanted to be close with me and you wanted to help me but i pushed you away without any warning, which isn’t fair to you at all”
you nod your head when she spoke to show that you were really listening and trying to understand what she was saying. it takes some time to figure out what to say to karina, but she patiently waits for you to formulate your response which surprises her at first.
“you remind me of my mother. she was hardworking, independent, and very beautiful too,” karina’s cheeks feel warm at the sudden compliment and you try to hide your smirk when you see the tips of her ears go red.
“but just like you, she also pushed away those who cared about her the most. even when she was confined to a hospital bed, suffering and hurting, she always told my dad and i that she was fine with the biggest smile on her face. i knew she wasn’t, but she didn’t want us to worry. she didn’t want us to think about when her time finally comes” the girl stays silent just like you did, letting the words fully sink in as she waits for you to continue.
“but if there’s anything thing my mom taught me, it’s to not give up on people so easily which is why i kept trying to be friends with you. looking at it now, maybe i came off way too strong at first with all the gifts, and it’s my fault for not realizing that. but like you said, it doesn’t excuse your behaviour towards me” karina purses her lips and brings her head down, ashamed to face you because of her past actions. but she quickly shoots her head up and asks if there's anything she could do to make it up to you.
“let me take you on a date” karina’s eyes widen and her cheeks are fully flushed, you can’t help but smirk at the girl.
“a date? like, a romantic date? or-”
“it doesn’t need to be romantic. just two people, getting to know each other and seeing where it takes them” karina regains composure and tries to act like she didn’t just freak out a second ago.
“do you have a crush on me, y/n?” she says with fake confidence.
“you intrigue me," you admit bluntly. "i want to know more about the campus goddess and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think of you from time to time”
“well, i could say the same thing. i wouldn’t have gone out of my way to feed you if i didn’t have any interest in you,” you raise your eyebrow in confusion, unsure of what she meant. you don’t recall talking to karina prior to this conversation so it was practically impossible for her to have fed you. it’s karina’s turn to smirk as she finds your confusion slightly amusing, but it immediately clears up once she messily attempts to write rn upside down in your notebook. you simply smile at the memory of finding food in front of your door.
the rest of your time in the library is spent studying because you learned you both had been slacking off due to the emotional distress of being angry at each other. you agreed to study for a few hours before grabbing a bite to eat together, and as you watch a focused purple-haired campus goddess scrunch her nose while trying to write her study notes, you realize that college was going to be one hell of an experience after all.
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a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to put out.... but i hope u enjoyed it nonetheless :') i love u all sm
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johnslittlespoon · 30 days
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Okay but what I *really* need is Gale leaning on the bar at the pub, content with watching Bucky making a racket with the rest of the guys—when some drunk Englishman walks up to him and calls Bucky a dog (derogatory). Gale just loses it and smashes a glass against the side of his head. Bonus points if Bucky is looking over when it happens (because a good boy always has one eye trained on his owner). I lowkey just need more fics with Buck showing off a feral side to defend what’s his
DUDE the timing on this is crazy because i'm literally 600 words deep into a pub brawl scene in my dog coded fic lol. unfortunately gale won't be doing that in my scene because he's trying to keep the peace, but i LOVE the concept.
calm and collected, can take any jabs thrown his way, but as soon as someone starts pushing it with his boy? he doesn't let it fly.
i wonder if i can find a way to slip something like this into the fic in a later scene once their dynamic has changed up a bit because it would be such a great show of how protective (and possessive, but he wouldn't admit it) gale becomes over him as time goes on.
'because a good boy always has one eye trained on his owner' this is so perfect. where i'm at in my writing rn, he's very much an unruly dog attached to gale by an invisible leash, his little (big) shadow, but there's nothing actually tethering him and he doesn't know how to cope with emotions (and feelings for gale) and he lashes out and shows his teeth.
but once he and gale progress in their dynamic and grow closer and john realizes how much he aims to please gale (instead of it being an unconscious thing), he'd look to him before acting on impulses, like he's looking to him for leadership or a green light. a metaphorical 'clicker'. ughh my brain is rotting away over this dog coded shit lmfao
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flymetosnarryland · 5 months
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A little progress.
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I'm working on "Infraction." My precious baby, uh. This art is part of it in a way. Eileen Prince and Tobias Snape. When people are falling in love everything seems easy, but then life happen.
(I'd like to talk about how things are going with Infraction.)
I'm back on it since couple of weeks and working on it is intense (my brain is literally boiling). I don't think I ever planned a story for that long. The first idea has born 6th January this year. I was writing down (like crazy) everything I wanted to be in this fic. During first months it was chaotic and messy, but brought me so much joy. When I've had everything that (I thought) I needed, I wrote first chapters, yeah. And then shared them, because was so excited about all of it and just couldn't wait. Gosh.
Now I... hm... well, maybe not "regret" it, but I think, I totally should have wait. Why is that? First thing first, this story is not ready yet for being written in, you know, final version. It's too fat, lol.
I may want too much from it. There is a lot, like, seriously, A LOT of things to cover. First notes took me around 80 pages and it had many gaps in it (too much if you ask me). Things I needed to figure out and fill in, in the same time making everything work together. Because this Snarry is not sprinkled with crime. It's filled with murder, political shenanigans, family shiteshow and tough, not always appropriate, love. There are secrets and lies, blackmails and history that matter. Backstory of many people, whose actions over the years supposed to bring us to the point where we are now. And, you know, all of it gives me the thrill. First time in my life I feel like a true Puppet Master.
So, couple weeks ago I started to write a proper outline, if I can call it like that. To put everything in order and, going from the very beginning, to fill all the gaps. To answer all the questions I was asking myself in notes. To figure out the missing clues, some details without I couldn't go further and with that - to find out how characters will change facing new situations. How they will grow (I really love this part). Sometimes I think, "why am I even doing it?" I could just write some cosy, little fic where Harry and Severus' silly problems would be the main goal of the story. Like, focusing on them should be enough, right? Why am I going for all the other things, if I just want them to shag and have their happy end after all? 😂
Well, if it's not for fun, I don't know the other reason. The level of excitement is just incredible. I don't know, if what I'm writing is good or bad. If it really has sense, because I've always seen myself rather as a potato, not as a great mastermind who can plot some good shite, you know. That said, "Infraction" feels even more challenging that I ever thought it will be. But I feel deep inside that I can do it. Going step by step where the main plan leads and... it just feels good.
I've started in October 1989. Now I'm in January 2011. It means that I managed to finish everything that happen before the fic starts, lol. And, actually, I almost covered the first part of the book. So, two more to go? Hehe. It'll take time, yes. It's crazy how much I want to continue writing the main chapters, not only swim in the plan-phase. Drawing the series of "Muggle London" art helped me a lot with easing this itch. However, it's still there. I know, though, that I have to finish it. The whole outline, I mean. Without it, things can go south.
That said, I can't tell how long it will take. Couple weeks? Maybe months. This is really... a lot of work and I want to be proud of it. Even more so, because this fic means a lot to me. I know it may not be, you know, mind blowing or something. But I hope that giving it all my love, it could be, you know, not that bad for reading, hehe.
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snackugaki · 7 months
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... my ass actually got like 6+ images deep before realizing i hadn't posted shit-- oops
my tmnt  iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)
tmnt  iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10
tmnt  iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
lny visit 1 | 2
IDW spoilers below, teeechnically Mirage & Next Mutation spoilers too ig?
blah blah blabbering because that's one of the many things you can do on tumblr.com
bloopity bloopin, turtles all being traded on the black market as pets, medicine, or decor to be... "prepared". 'cept Jennika, keeping her IDW origin because it's badass and I like it. eco vigilantes freed them one fateful night, same night someone(s) stole some mutagen for a rival company to TGRI, boom collided in their getaway routes, away floated Venus just like in NM and some others who lalala may or may not be some mutanimals
playing mostly with coloring, Rise introducing markings is such a nice and refreshing change from the all sam green turtle, different bandana color turtles I grew up with. fanon taking that concept and applying it in conjunction with actual turtle colorings also scratches my visdev brain node just so
hm... still fiddling with their plastrons... Venus' and Jennika's are fine though
Leo
funky li'l ringed map turtle
can't see it but, he got them little ridgey-spikies on his shell
christ, I'm finding a way to attach Iris symbolism to him, either through markings or something else
Iris in hanakotoba is... basically all Leo; nobility, bravery, honor, courage, heavy samurai association
5'2"
Raph
McCord's or Amboina box turtle idk idk idk can't choose
stuck on coloring him with a scale mail feeling to match the box turtle photos I found
....I needa draw him beefier, he can stand to be beefier
5'6"
Donnie
literally just googled which turtles exhibit the highest INT, wood turle consistently listed plus some have funky geometrically patterned/shaped shells
tossing on how do the plastron coloring, really liking the dark spots on it
probably keep the lightened belly/inner limb coloring
...probably... lol idk
5'8"
Mikey
my perfect chonky boy, no notes except he (and his brothers) need plastron do-overs
and now i am stuck with the heart-on-his-sleeve marking
canon 2 my iteration it is done
he gets to be the slider this go round, if just 'cuz he's technically the first born (in terms of creating TMNT and its story and world)
let him have the fluttering, finger drumming on everything and everyone because he's bursting with "i love you" energy anyway
5'4"
Venus
"my pretty daughter" iykyk
sea turtle as per last couple iteration posts
cultivator instead of "shinobi"
"i aM ShiNObi"... guh, just, I dunno, the term "cultivator" wasn't really known back in '98 like that, but she had the medicine box, she worked to learn how to throw a fireball at Vam Mi, she was pleased at her progression when she defeated the counterspell from the staff of Bu Ki. that's cultivator shit right there.
she's still a pugilist more than a iron fan user
looks up to April like a big sister, speaks canto and hakka with her
cuz she's still a linguist scholar like in Next Mutation so duh she speak all the languages (to an extant, she has a lot of studying left to go after all)
the greenified hawksbill coloring is growing on me...
still needa futz more with the plum flower motif on her
also figure out her huadian situation or just scrap it idkidkidk
her bandana + 50% green coloring is also growing on me....
5'10"
Jennika
technically also ringed map turtle since it was Leo who gave her the blood transfusion
I like the idea of bringing her Blaschko's lines to the forefront post-mutation but just... it's a lot of stripes. and goddamnit I ain't even gonna go deep into much of anything with the comics I just... can't not world build rip me
6'0"
April
still so tickled at April being closer to the turtles' ages in these new reboots and fascinated how it's played out
...but mine is a clean 44 yo, so. (turtles in late 30s)
Laird originally conceived April as an asian woman in his notes, Eastman drew her as a biracial woman he was dating at the time (April Fisher) and... idk what to tell y'all, people are running around being mixed in this world all the time, Brooklyn got hella Jamaican/Chinese so there you go
can speak canto and hakka
April being a "weirdo" as I've seen mentioned in Rise can stay, I'm picking that, that's a great trait to her character, big fan of Poly Styrene, loved Rachel True in The Craft
where "weirdo" is just she's into alt subculture and being in New York... she got her hands everywhere in those scenes
She and Chu Hsi get to have the most shoujo fuckin' romance because it's cute
and she's still a living drawing which I'm changing around a bit being why she felt like a "weirdo" and leaned towards subcultures and the turtles, she did eventually begin to destabilize but Venus stabilized her by trapping her in a scroll so she could work on a solution. ...where she has a long, happy relationship with Chu Hsi in the painted world scroll because lol time dilation
saw somewhere on the hellsite that the tooth gap is passed around every iteration... so April gets to have it
5'7"
Irma
i'm not ashamed to say I just reupholstered Nadia from Russian Doll
87 Irma went through a lot so she can have some dry wit and humor and be fly as fuck, big hair, big glasses, and a big attitude
still besties with April
likes moths, they're just neat little guys with rabbit ears iykyk
there is a very specifc size of her hair I am battling to keep consistent the problem it never feels big enough
says "fuhgeddaboutit" and has yelled that she is, in fact, "walkin' here,"
... she might also have a little bit of Myrtle from AHS: Coven sprinkled in now that I'm thinking about it to sum her up
she knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody for any random thing you could want to try to find
all the delis and bodegas know her
discusses plot lines from soap operas with Splinter on weekends, they get heated
5'5"
... god all this and I was just gonna have them play spades and play a round of pickup street ball in silly little comics
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ctheathy · 3 months
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Zails the Zone Cop NSFW Headcanons
Zails x Reader
NSFW Headcanons
Short Concept
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Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :
Both reader+character are of legal age or aged-up for obvious reasons in this post!
These are smut headcanons, read at own risk. !Female!dom!Reader+sub!Zails • Eating his darling out • Drooling/salivating • He gets a bit rabid with it
Ah, wowie. Zails getting himself a girlfriend? I thought it would never happen... but let me tell you that Zails is truly one of the most hopeless and desperate variant of Tails that exists. He would be so needy for constant affection and reassurance, but he'd also be quicker to grow a lot more ...horny than the rest of the bunch. Even if he constantly has his grabby fingers all over you, a singular touch from you can easily trigger his sensitive nerves, leaving him an aroused mess.
And if you gave him permission to taste your cervical fluids? That is 111% the worst idea I’ve ever heard in my life and you absolutely should do it because it would absolutely shatter Zails the best way possible. He would instantly fall and completely melt into a drooling mess and beg you for a chance. He’s not used to those sweet, sweet fluids and he is absolutely not stopping until he has to be pried off of your body with a crowbar. He would be in pure ecstasy and nobody would be able to separate him from you anymore.
It would be the worst thing Zails has ever felt, and he wouldn’t be able to think straight anymore due to how much he would enjoy it. He’d be making pathetic groaning noises and his leg would shake uncontrollably. You would be his whole world at that moment, he wouldn’t even hear it if there was a volcano exploding outside his house. There would be no way for him to recover from that at all.
Tell him to not dare disappoint you while does the deed.
Cause that, my friends, would be the end of everything for Zails because that would literally be the final blow. His legs would go numb from the ecstasy as he softly moans into your entrance, tongue working overtime just to enjoy the sweet and divine taste. His mind would become completely flooded with hormones that would leave him absolutely dizzy. His whole world has been flipped upside down and he would NEVER recover from this.
He’d be so weak-minded that he wouldn’t be able to think of anything else but making you feel satisfied as his eyes would roll back and moan louder into you, not wanting it to stop. He would be completely addicted to the taste, and the sound, and the sight of the whole thing. His tongue deep inside of you getting every drop of nectar he can. I can see his tongue would become more desperate with its movements to try and taste even more of you. Becoming more vocal as it reaches deeper into your body, his tongue being in this hot, moist and tight claustrophobic space, with juices soaking his already wet tongue.
And by the time he reaches that level of desperation, he’d be nothing short of rabid. His tongue would move at rapid pace as he just tries to get more of every single drop, his brain just melting to the point he feels like a drooling animal. And the more he gets the more desperate he becomes, he would feel your hands on his back and he would get more desperate. He’d start licking anywhere you touched him, just praying for more. His body is nothing more than a shell anymore.
Which is the perfect comparison honestly, he’d be acting like he was on death row and this was his last meal before dying. He would be lapping up everything like a dog that wasn’t fed for weeks. And if you decided to actually allow yourself to climax, oh lord, that would be the biggest shot of pure ecstasy he could ever experience. It would absolutely break him to the bone. He would feel like he didn’t deserve to live for being able to experience that kind of blissful experience.
You'd have a grip over his tongue since the start of the interaction, and it would get progressively tighter until it would become unbearable. His breathing would get heavier and he’d start to moan so loudly, but you could definitely make him feel the lowest he could possibly be. He’d be trying to reach a deeper level while you can enjoy every moment of him being helpless in your grasp, sitting on his face once he’s ready to burst.
Zails would absolutely need a full body suit just to keep all the drool in his mouth because he’s actually just a mess of an entity at this point. He’s nothing short of a starving animal in heat who would have no care about being overstimulated. And if you were to let out a sound that even remotely resembles a moan, he’d be a goner. He’d go insane on you and you may as well just be giggling the whole time over him melting and making a mess. He is completely broken at this point. All it takes is a single sound.
And that, I think, would cause his mind to completely snap. He would be completely overrun by his own emotions and be in complete euphoria, yet so filled with desire too. He would reach a point where even days after the experience, he will literally be begging for you to let him drink from your fountain of life again. You would not only see the desperation in his eyes, but you could feel it in his entire being. And his body would be shaking all over, as if in a fever, unable to contain all of that need inside ever again.
A need he didn't even know he had.
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sciderman · 7 months
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I love the fact your Peter learns from his mistakes.He’s literally telling Wade to not fuck up something that would have even worse consequences of.That’s a good man right there 👏👏 praise for Peter
HE IS SO GOOD. he's wonderful – no one gives him enough credit for just how much he's learned and evolved over the years – he's come so, so far. and i have a wonderful little post i'm sitting on that's kind of actually all about how far he's come. but we see it everywhere – he's constantly evolving, and taking ownership of his mistakes and learning from them.
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we say that peter maybe apologises too much, but – he takes what he learns forward. and he wants wade to move forward too. and he believes wade is.
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wade - wade's kind of the opinion of the contrary.
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it's a sore spot.
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a BIG huge ouchie for wade.
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fact is - wade's perpetually frustrated that peter is evolving much faster than he is - because wade feels like he's relapsing, constantly. he desperately wants to be better.
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it's something that revolves in my brain a lot, actually. wade and peter's differing approaches. wade is of the mindset that there's a constant reset-button on him.
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and in the comics - there is. wade is a character that's never allowed to evolve in the comics. he's whatever the writer or audience is interested in, for that week. he's been the villain, been the anti-hero, been the hero, reset. back to villain. back to anti-hero. has a marriage. has a divorce. has a daughter. has his memories of his daughter erased from his memory. he is never allowed to actually progress, or have any sort of stability as a character. deadpool, as a character, has never had a status quo.
peter parker - in his heyday - (we don't talk about the last decade of comics) - growth and evolution was the crux of his comics. he starts off a bitter teen - grows into a cynical college student - into a persevering adult, in a long-term romance and eventual marriage that span decades of comics. he becomes a teacher - he just - he grows. the comics let him evolve to the point you'd hardly recognise him if you sat teenage peter parker and adult peter parker next to each other. it's a long game and you're with him every step - and i just - i think wade's awareness of that reality (what with his relationship with the fourth wall) means that he'll always have this nagging fear that peter's inevitably going to evolve past him, and wade's going to be on reset, again.
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i think he's terrified that if he loses peter, he'll be back to square one. i think he's terrified of how much he needs peter here - to remind him that he's doing something right.
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