Phoenix starts writing Natasha Shen-Trace on her notebook when she is eighteen because Callie Shen appeared in front of her during a presentation and now she can't thing of anybody else. She still doesn't have a callsign or knows what a callsign is but she is going to merry Callie, just as she is sure she is going to be a aviator for the Navy.
The first time Callie, now Halo, see Natasha, now Phoenix, she is almost thirty and the other woman is twenty eight. They're both at a conference and Halo is there to help Admiral Kazansky with the various delegations, even he doesn't need to. Someone, who she will soon learn is the Admiral's husband, makes Phoenix laugh and everyone is watching at her and Halo is awestruck because her laugh as such a nice sound, one of those you want just to listen and listen all over again.
They meet, in the end, at TOP GUN when the same Admiral's husband is having the time of his life making their lives impossible. Halo makes the first step introducing herself the night before the beginning of the lesson and Phoenix almost spills her beer on both of them. Oh she is cute is all Halo's brain can think and she is even cutter when she blushes because she realises who she is. Phoenix's hand is soft when they shake it and is soft around her waist when Bradley Bradshaw sits in front of a piano and starts to sing and she make her stay there with them. Halo doesn't know the song but everyone is laughing and singing and she doesn't really want to leave now.
(Phoenix takes all her courage between her hands and kisses Halo's cheek when they're saying their goodnights. She knows she is blushing but Halo is smiling back at her and oh that was totally worth it.)
52 notes
·
View notes
12 days of writer self love day 3: repulsed
I know, I know it’s late and out of order, but I’m kind of okay with that. At least it’s here. I really like this piece. I think I almost imagined myself in this situation if I hadn’t found out about my orientation when I did, or if my attraction turned out slightly different
It was an alien and unexpected feeling when it happened the first time. Bendis thought it was attraction, but when the other boy went to kiss him, his initial reaction was to pull away. The other boy, the baker’s son, Francesco, mirrored his action, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.
“Are you okay?” Francesco asked, rubbing the back of Ben’s hand with his thumb.
Ben’s hand went tense under the contact, then relaxed somewhat stiffly. He nodded, swallowed once, then leaned in. “Fine. I’m fine,” they reassured, voice shaking. Francesco pretended not to notice. “Now what were we doing?”
As they kissed, Ben tried not to squirm at the contact and the sheer amount of fluids being exchanged. That night, he lay in a resting patch of his garden and shoveled dirt onto himself as he fell asleep watching the stars.
The next time it happened, they again tried to stifle their reaction. The bard was charismatic and patient, and frankly very good-looking. They’d laughed and joked together for hours, Ben lamenting his lost potential at a similar career path. Ben had even taken a day away from the apothecary to spend time with them.
“It was a pleasure getting to know you, Du Kahoari,” they said, as they raised Ben’s hand to their mouth and pressed a kiss on it.
Ben retracted his hand as calmly as possible, resisting the urge to wipe it on his skirt. Similarly, they hid the tremor in their voice. “Likewise. I wish you happy travels.”
The bard bowed, and as soon as Ben was out of their line of sight, he ran back to the apothecary to wash his hand.
The time after that it wasn’t even happening. It had been a months-long relationship with Sonya the blacksmith’s daughter, so it was bound to come up in conversation. She sat them down on the haybales behind her mother’s shop, taking their hands in her own.
“So, we’ve been together for a while,” she said, pausing to wait for Ben to nod. “So I think it’s time to talk about…”
Ben’s eyes glazed over. His hands went clammy and he pulled back. They tucked their knees against their chest. His breaths came in small bursts. “Say… say that again?”
“...? That’s what I feel like we should talk about,” Sonya said, cautiously now. She shuffled around to face him, careful not to brush their skin.
Swallowing hard, Ben opened his mouth, shut it. His adams apple bobbed again. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about that,” he managed.
“Okay, that’s okay,” Sonya said, words rushed. “We can take as long as we need.”
Under his breath, Ben asked, “Is this what you want from a relationship?”
Sonya was caught off-guard and stopped moving towards Ben. “I- I think so?”
“Then I don’t think I can be with you,” choked Ben.
“Oh, um,” she stalled. “Are you sure?”
Ben hid his face in his knees. “No,” he said. “I’m not. And if you ask me again, I’ll do it. I’ll say yes. Because it’s what you’re supposed to do, right?”
“Can I touch you?” Ben’s head snapped up at Sonya’s words. He nodded. She placed her hand on their back and rubbed circles into it. “There’s no ‘supposed to’ in any relationship. Relationships are whatever you make of them And if two people want different things, they can compromise. Sometimes that means they keep going as they are. Sometimes that means doing things differently. No one knows what they’re doing all the time. But if you think we don’t work, then we don’t work. That’s okay. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Okay?”
Ben nodded into his knees.
“Do you need space?”
They nodded again.
“Alright,” Sonya said, groaning as she stretched out of the haystack, pulling a few pieces of straw from where they stuck into her skirt. “I’ll be in my mother’s shop if you need me. And for what it’s worth, these last few months were amazing. I hope they were for you too.”
Shoulders curling inwards, Ben couldn’t bring themself to reply. All his partners, fleeting or long-lasting, affectionate and timid, had been so wonderful. There was no reason for him to feel like this. But he did, and it ate him up inside. They rolled over and screamed into the straw, trying to free himself of the fundamentally wrong feeling inside him.
7 notes
·
View notes