"I can't put any more effort into being a daughter."
I'm sorry--I can't actually
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thinking about the random throwaway comment murph made about how riz has been tutoring just because in my heart i think it’d be both true to character & very funny if riz was an absolutely horrendous tutor. you’re telling me the stressed out kid with 5 million extracurriculars is going to be fully mentally present for a tutoring session? no. he thinks he’s explaining something and to the person listening he truly sounds like a flat solace conspiracy theorist with how little sense he’s making. after a certain amount of time if the kid he’s tutoring doesn’t understand riz just redirects them to adaine because she sells test answers. he’s responsible for three different rage outbursts and he doesn’t know because the second the session is over he’s already out the door for like. mathletes or whatever.
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The killing gas in Burrow's End reminded me so much of a 1993 movie called Once Upon a Forest where a truck containing hazardous chemicals crashes near a forest and the fumes make the baby animal characters who live there sick and they have to go on a quest to find a cure. The scenes where you watch the slow, inexorable movement of the poisonous air into the forest towards the animal characters who didn't and couldn't understand what was happening was so so horrifying to me as a child
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when emily said brennan had plans for fig this season i was not expecting them to (seemingly) come up in the FIRST episode
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i think the thing about elody and gerard's conversation this week's episode is that both of them are speaking at each other, not too each other. which is fair because think about all that they've been through both in their lives and just in the past 13 episodes really, neither of them are actually communicating and they're so within their feelings and their progression that they aren't seeing each other...
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as a cult survivor, i have immense respect for how @quiddie handled the lukura in burrow's end. specifically in episode 1, the moment that it was revealed that thorn was a cult leader, i was ready to bail, but i decided to stick through the first episode at least just to see if it was something i could handle. and... man. i was genuinely sobbing with relief by the end of the episode.
the problem with so much cult-driven media, i find, is that it dehumanises the members/victims of the cult. they're just there to be vaguely creepy, or to sacrifice themselves for their leader(s), or to die outright to cult doctrine, usually for shock value. they're not actually people.
so you can imagine my fear when the stoats were escaping the poison, that we were going to get some scene where a member has to sacrifice themselves for thorn/viola, or it would be revealed that they all died waiting for orders etc. but we didn't... instead, in their last moments, aabria gave them what cult victims in media very rarely get — agency. viola's anger being met with teedles' "but they have families too," yes... yes!!! thank you! and then "if they ran, it was because they hoped to save them, and i can't begrudge them for that" i just... i don't think i can actually put into words how much that exchange meant to me. it was such a departure from what we're used to. even though most of them still died(?), it was not in service to thorn, or because of their lukura's beliefs. they were mothers and fathers and daughters and sons; they were no different to any of the pcs. they were trying to save themselves. aabria... the woman that you are. thank you.
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Christ afuckinglive brennan really does have a way of like making a little speech that makes me absolutely just weep for a full half hour Like kudos to all the d20 homies for keeping their shit together bc I tell ya I woulda had to leave that table and lie down for a bit. Like something about this speech really did it to me
"It's believing that you can put your head up and look for a day where you won't be so tired anymore. Lukas deserves to find that day; he deserves to adventure for it and be curious about where it might be and I deserve to find that day too."
And I think it's just theres something really profound about that kind of recognition that when you're depressed, when you're tired all of the time when everything is such a goddamn struggle that the wish for death is sometimes just a wish for rest. And sometimes the first step to getting better is recognizing that you don't deserve to be shot dead in the street (or field ig) for daring to have a bit of hope, for realizing what you actually need is rest, that what you actually want is the energy to be curious about what comes next. I don't know there's something about hearing the deepest and most profound wish of my life, to be rested, put so clearly into words, and then realizing how important that desire is while also being such a seemingly small and simple thing that really got me
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THEORY/DISCUSSION TIME
Spoilers for Burrow's End ep 7 i think (most recent one)
SO AVA FOR SURE DIED IN THE OOZE/DRINK/REACTOR CORE cause her heart stopped beating, that's specifically pointed out, and is still somehow alive (And is still maybe dieing from the radiation). AND Tula had/has the same thing happen/ing to her!
So the Blue is definitely involved with and connects Tula's heart thing, and Ava's life after death. Based on how Ava was surrounded by the Blue, then Tula was probably also at some point also surrounded by it to cause her own Blue heart condition thing. My theory is that it somehow relates to Geoffrey (her husband) and the day he died. Maybe she got struck with radiation from the humans, or her husband somehow sent his Blue to her? Does anyone have any other ideas?
Also will all the stoats now have a tiny bit of Ava's DNA/genetic material in them?
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