#thenewera2

[just-your-dnd-things]

I'm the designated plot progresser.

#just your dnd things #dungeons and dragons #dnd memes #dnd #dnd quotes #quotes #quote #my dnd #my dnd group #out of context #out of context dnd #the new era 2 #tne2 #thenewera2

[just-your-dnd-things]

Bard: I write the note in crayon.

Cleric: Please, please, [Bard]. This is my boss. Have some professionalism. At least use colored pencils.

Gunslinger: I have smelly markers?

#dnd quotes #dnd memes #dnd #quote #quotes #tne2 #the new era 2 #Thenewera2 #dungeons and dragons #out of context dnd #out of context #just your dnd things

[just-your-dnd-things]

Me, the DM: alright, since you guys are entering a new area, time for the long DM monologue to describe the city.

Cleric: ooh, great, unskippable cutscene.

#tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #just your dnd things #dnd memes #dnd quotes #out of context #out of context dnd #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dragons memes #dnd #my dnd group

[just-your-dnd-things]

Cleric: I haven't been totally honest with you. Last night, I was approached by [NPC], and he offered me to join his cult.

Bard:.... did he recruit you?

Cleric: ..no??

Bard: alright I was just curious if you were given money and if so, how much and can I have some.

#this exchange still makes me laugh so much #tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dragons memes #dnd memes #dnd quotes #quotes #quote #my dnd #my dnd group #out of context #out of context dnd

[just-your-dnd-things]

Me, the DM: You guys go get breakfast sushi, like the insane people you are.

The Cleric: What kind of insane people do you think we AREN'T?

#this makes me laugh every time #dnd memes #dnd quotes #just your dnd things #dungeons and dragons #quotes #quote #dnd #tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2

[just-your-dnd-things]

For Anyone Curious How to Amazon Prime Someone in a Medieval DnD Setting

 Have a character with Int or Wis 13+

Take the feat Ritual Caster:Wizard, and select the spells Find Familiar and Tenser's Floating Disk for your ritual book

Cast Find Familiar to summon an owl (or pseudodragon, at your DM's discretion)

Cast Tenser's Floating Disk through your familiar (as per official rules, "your familiar can deliver a spell as if it had cast the spell."), causing the disk to follow them (as per Tenser's Floating Disk official description, "The disk is immobile while [the caster is] within 20 feet of it. If [the caster] move[s] more than 20 feet away from it, the disk follows [the caster] so that it remains within 20 feet of [the caster].")

Place your cargo upon Tenser's Floating Disk

Instruct your familiar to perpetually use the Dash action to move towards your cargo's destination. At 120ft/6seconds, Your familiar can travel about 82 miles before Tenser's Floating Disk dissipates.

Riding along is possible, but not required. My party uses this method for our own transportation, as it takes up no spell slots.

*Note that my interpretation of the rules is a touch loose in some places, so your DM may not allow this.

^Lmao our TNE2 Cleric was kind enough to describe how to make fantasy Amazon prime with Tenser's Floating Disk. -Teddy

#submission #dnd #just your dnd things #dnd shenanigans #tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #dnd memes #not a quote

[just-your-dnd-things]

When you made this campaign, did you ever imagine that one of your players would be washing off their magic black shoe polish disguise in a medieval Wal-mart bathroom?

#thanks to the cleric for giving me this excellent line #tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #just your dnd things #dnd memes #dnd quotes #quote #quotes #out of context dnd #out of context

[just-your-dnd-things]

Me, the DM: Can you roll me stealth?

The Cleric: Yeah yeah, sure, one second, I have to get my.... (quietly) 80 dollar dice set...

DM: YOU HAVE 80 DOLLAR DIE???!?!??

The Cleric:

The Cleric: I don't have to explain myself to you.

#the 80 dollar dice set haunts me #tne2 #The new era 2 #thenewera2 #just your dnd things #dnd memes #dnd quotes #dungeons and dragons #quote #quotes

[just-your-dnd-things]

Me, the DM: -and his name is Agronoth.

Cleric: Absenar?

DM: A g r o n o t h .

Cleric: Agememnon???

#tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #out of context dnd #out of context #Just your dnd things #dnd #dnd memes #dungeons and dragons #dungeon master #dnd quotes #quotes #quote

[just-your-dnd-things]

Gunslinger: Come on, DM. Is it a 120 volt wall socket or a 125 volt socket???

DM, strained: I don't know, my worldbuilding was not that thorough!! ??

#just your dnd things #dnd quotes #dnd #quote #quotes #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #tne2 #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dragons memes #dungeon master #dm memes #dnd group #my dnd #out of context #out of context dnd

[just-your-dnd-things]

That child was very fond of stabbing.

The cleric, about a young NPC who has stabbed multiple people on multiple occasions

#just your dnd things #tne2 #The new era 2 #thenewera2 #dnd memes #dnd quotes #quotes #quote #dungeons and dragons

[just-your-dnd-things]

We just amazon prime’d [Antagonist NPC].

you dont wnat to know how they ‘amazon prime’d’ someone in a medieval dnd campaign dude

#tne2 #the new era 2 #Thenewera2 #dnd memes #dnd #dnd quotes #my dnd #my dnd group #dungeons and dragons #just your dnd things #dungeons and dragons memes #quote #quotes #out of context #out of context dnd

[just-your-dnd-things]

He's Canadian! Let's give him a zip lock bag of milk as a house warming gift to welcome him.

I HONESTLY have no idea how the players came to this conclusion. I was looking at my notes and not paying attention for 2 minutes and the first thing I hear is THIS.

#tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #dnd memes #dnd quotes #quotes #quote #just your dnd things #dungeons and dragons #dungeons and dragons memes #dnd #my dnd #my dnd group #out of context #out of context dnd

[just-your-dnd-things]

I love this guy. I want his head off.

-Bard. I forget why.

#just your dnd things #dnd quotes #dnd memes #dnd #my dnd #my dnd group #quote #quotes #tne2 #thenewera2 #The new era 2 #dungeons and dragons #out of context #out of context dnd

[just-your-dnd-things]

Cleric: I cast druidcraft, making a cluster of pink biolumenscant mushrooms, and give them to [NPC].

Bard: YOOOOO CAN I GET A PINK GLOWSTICK?!

#tne2 #the new era 2 #thenewera2 #just your dnd things #out of context dnd #out of context #dnd #dnd memes #dnd quotes #dungeons and dragons #memes

[just-your-dnd-things]

You respectfully poke the dead body

#tw death #tw death mention #tw dead mention #just your dnd things #dnd memes #dnd #dungeons and dragons #out of context #out of context dnd #tne2 #thenewera2 #the new era 2