#theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

[therealvinelle]

The way ahead

In light of recent tumblr news, @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin / @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta and I have thought about the way ahead.

We are not going to move our blog activity to a different site, mainly because there's no other place quite like tumblr.

We will export our blogs, I for one am going to answer the best asks that I saved in my inbox and drafts, and we will slowly shift our attention elsewhere.

Here is our plan, as it stands at the moment:

The Rank Heresy podcast Rank Heresy will take the place of our blogs in being where we host our theories and heresies, and we are happy to receive feedback on what most interests people

Q&A livestream sessions What it says on the tin: questions ticking in, Muffin and I answering off the cuff.

Discord community Using our Rank Heresy discord server (invite link) we will continue our activity there as it stands now, hosting writing competitions, streaming things, and the greatly celebrated book club.

Continued presence on Ao3 Obviously.

We will look back on this era with fondness, vague incredulity (it's been a bizarre run), and a host of other feelings, and hope we don't lose touch with too many of you.

#about this blog #therealvinelle #the carnivorous muffin #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin #thecarnivorousmuffinmeta #tumblr

[rankheresy]

New episode: Albus Dumbledore and a Death We Barely Noticed

After a fun and spontaneous hiatus, The Carnivorous Muffin and Vinelle are out with a new Rank Heresy episode!

This time we take on our tinfoil conspiracy hats, and turn towards Nicholas Flamel, who was remarkably cooperative when Albus Dumbledore said to him, "That British dark wizard who died ten years ago is after it, I think you should give it to me to protect." He was even more cooperative later on, when after all the effort he'd gone through to protect the Stone he agreed to die along with his wife.

Remarkable fellow.

Find links to listen to the episode here!

#albus dumbledore #nicholas flamel #harry potter #harry potter fantheory #rank heresy #rank heresy podcast #vinelle #therealvinelle #the carnivorous muffin #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

[smallcatwoman]

Thoughts on Carmen

I’m a fan of @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin and @therealvinelle works and blogs of course. You may want to read some of their metas if you’re not familiar with them or else some of what I say is going to sound insane. I especially love their delightfully horrendous Eleazar from their fics. x x x

He’s so much fun to read and to write, and between those two excellent writers and several fans inspired by them, Eleazar has been quite thoroughly dragged through the mud multiple times over. (Not that I have any intention of stopping, provided I have enough inspiration/fanfic prompts.)

Carmen, however, isn’t discussed nearly as much, but this woman fascinates me. 

Carmen is barely in canon and has almost no speaking lines in fanfics (because of a bingo card maybe? Idk.) The only thing that sticks out in my mind from rereading every chapter of breaking dawn featuring the denali fifty times (for reasons that may or may not become clearer mid July) is that she was the first to accept Renesmee and be charmed by her, and seems like a sweet enough person the couple of times that she says anything at all. 

I just have to wonder what goes on in the brain of someone who is happily married to Eleazar of all people. 

She’s obviously not a moral person, considering that she enables the shenanigans that the Denali sisters/Eleazar get up to, and probably participates in it as well. But I do think she is very pleasant and “nice” in terms of the way she talks and interacts with people. Similar ish to how Umbridge from Harry Potter is evil, but acts like a very sugary sweet kind of person. 

And tbf I agree with muffin/vinelle that the Denali are completely unaware of the fact that they are serial rapists and that the men they sleep with are probably terrified of saying no to them. Carmen has good intentions, and thinks that she and Eleazar are paragons of morality, and even if she and Eleazar woohoo people to death in hot tubs, at least they don’t eat them. 

I also think that she’s probably an insanely easygoing person, who is nigh impossible to annoy or offend. She would also have to be fairly quiet, and a good listener, since Eleazar loves the sound of his own voice. 

I think that if her circumstances were different and she didn’t meet Eleazar, she could have been a sweet, easygoing, and supportive partner to anyone. Either another horrible obnoxious person where she would just be similarly chill and accepting, no matter what nonsense they get up to. Or she could end up with a sane, normal person who doesn’t have weird kinks of woohooing with their food. 

Honestly, the human equivalent of  what Edward and the denali are into is like if a person was sexually attracted to a hot apple crumble, fresh out of the oven. Compared to sleeping with another person, it’s way too warm, way too squishy, and smells like food. Plus you would destroy a perfectly good apple crumble, which is just a shame.

Anyway, that’s all. tdlr Carmen is a very supporting and easygoing person, and very interesting to me considering she is happily married to the worst person in the universe.

#twilight #twilight meta #anti eleazar #anti carmen #long post

[iamnmbr3]

Who's your fave character in Hp??

oooh! that's hard to answer. a couple. right now probably harry, draco, snape, tom riddle, alphard black (thanks to the good writing crimes of @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin and @therealvinelle in Amulette d'Amour ) and hermione. but there'a lot i enjoy tbh. like i think narcissa is super interesting as well and andromeda. and of course any time an author is like no the fandom is wrong don't you dare like this character or treat them with nuance then i will be like well now i want to out of spite. i think dumbledore is super interesting as well tho im not a fan of how the narrative frames him as only slightly flawed instead of a deeply, deeply flawed and disturbing character; like he's brilliantly written...but it's by mistake lol.

#asks #Harry Potter

[buffinbonkers]

Listen, 

I’ve never posted on tumblr before. I’ve never had inkling of a desire to. I have also never wanted to spend two hours editing what I imagine 23 year old Carlisle Cullen in Volterra would look like but here we are. And I blame  @therealvinelle and @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin for their fantastic fanfics. 

I can really imagine the characters when reading their writing and we did NOT get enough twlight movies to satisify my imaginations. 

#twlight #carlisle cullen #I obsess over Peter Facinelli as well but I wanted a age accurate actor #alex pettyfer #The fact that he's british solidified the fan casting sorry not sorry #I feel like he should be pallor but I couldn't figure it out #I imagine aro just as gorgeous as well #LOVE MICHEAL SHEEN THO #But he's definitely not 25 #I have sunken #Will i ever resurface #It was this or send another praising ask to them and she (Me) decided to use her *Creativity*

[franzias-cave]

The father and the son are on haitus aka prime time for the holy ghost of twilight fanfiction to return like the avatar and save my weary soul franzia we need you! And rosalie’s baby!

uh i wouldn't necessarily call @therealvinelle and the @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin taking more than two weeks to update a hiatus? i think that is a normal update schedule? but you will be pleased to know the next chapter of rosalie and bella's baby is nearly finished

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

This feels like a really really dumb Q, but I'll ask anyway: what's a meta?

And, is there any deeper reason behind this blog's (and your) name?

The dictionary defines meta as:

(of a creative work) referring to itself or to the conventions of its genre; self-referential:"the enterprise is inherently “meta,” since it doesn't review movies, for example, it reviews the reviewers who review movies"

In general it's the discussion not just of what happens in a series but how it's written, about the characters at a general level, etc.

This blog is "thecarnivorousmuffinmeta" as The_Carnivorous_Muffin is my penname on Ao3 and FFN where I wrote fanfiction. I ended up getting into the meta business later when I got too many asks on my main blog @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

The Carnivorous Muffin I picked as a penname ages ago based on a conversation I had with friends at the time. Namely I wanted something unique, memorable, not too serious, with no numbers or special characters, and not in any way fandom specific.

I've been The Carnivorous Muffin ever since.

#about this blog

[threebooksoneplot]

Edward’s Monster at any given moment:

Credit: @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

love this. I can hear his constant internal screaming so clearly—shannon

yeah when I picture his monster it's always either this or one of those dogs in a many-legged spider costume —g

#asks #edward cullen #edward's monster #thefunkypenguins #art

[belovedordos]

Congratulations on publishing!!🥳 is it possible to buy a copy anywhere other than amazon?😭

I believe you have me (therealvinelle's main) mistaken for @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin, who wrote the book.

Go to the Muffin's new sideblog, @janedoewrites, where they take all publishing-related questions!

#the heart of the world #janedoewrites

[effervescent-hoe]

Marcus for the character bingo!

lives in my head rent free! im OBSESSED with Painting Red Madonnas and The Less Than Immaculate Conception by @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin and his depiction in them! really solidifies him as one of my favorite characters! Im looking forward to reading more Marcus/Bella in upcoming fics!

This version of him is the only one that exists or matters to me so <3

#twilight #riley to the askbox #thanks for the ask! #Marcus Volturi #blorbo supreme

[goethitee]

tagged by @aalhaitham 💗💞✨

last song: tears! by 5sos

last show: idk if this counts but i just finished watching httyd 3 (& i cried a lot)

currently watching: casual rewatch of psych

currently reading: a knight of the seven kingdoms by george rr martin

currently obsessed with: got/hotd & twilight fanfics by @/therealvinelle & @/theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin/@/thecarnivorousmuffinmeta. my mind is yoyo-ing between the two & im going crazy 😵‍💫.

tagging: @tryingfawn @gncatelier & @toastannas

#i should clarify that i dont mean got & hotd fanfics. i just mean the them in general #also the fanfic authors i mentioned are AMAZING ok even if u dont give a sing shit abt twilight i rlly rlly recommend you at least attempt #to read one ok #they are so so so good & hopefully hopefully hopefully they will have updates/new fics tomorrow #if not i will go crazy #their metas are also really good #tag game #sunnie

[therealvinelle]

For the ship name palooza: SnakeSnake because they're both Slytherins. And snakes.

Your mind.

I'm putting this with other ship name names, you'll be up against The Black Death soon.

God, this is horrible (And proves crowdsourcing really is the way).

#we're catapulting tom/alphard out of rarepair hell #no one will be able to resist... whatever the ship name ends up being #harry potter shipping #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin #the carnivorous muffin

[rankheresy]

Episode 11: What’s Up with the Vampire Secret Anyways?

People who are subscribed to our podcast on the various streaming services will already know the episode is out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a post about it.

Oh well.

Join us in this half hour long episode as we talk about the secret in Twilight, namely, that vampires are a secret. We discuss isekai, historeagraphy, apex predators, the alien franchise (again), and sound like we’re talking about a series that isn’t about two teenagers named Edward and Bella who just want to be together.

#rank heresy #rank heresy podcast #twilight #twilight renaissance #the volturi #vinelle #therealvinelle #the carnivorous muffin #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin

[panlight]

Speaking of Jakeward, @therealvinelle and @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin (Vinelle and The_Carnivorous_Muffin on AO3 and ffn) have written a fic called ‘For the Love of a Woman.’ Fair warning, neither Edward nor Jacob are depicted in a positive manner and the fic has some explicit sexual content. The characterization is canon-compliant.

For those interested! Thanks for the rec!

#asks #fyi

[troquantary]

Didyme, Part 2: Something, Something, Plato's Allegory of the Cave

Continuing from here, and we’re doing sub-parts for this bit. I’m genuinely surprised I had this much to say. (And fun fact, I almost lost the entire goddamn post, but fortunately I was copy-pasting into Word just in case. Not today, Satan.)

2.1. What Canon Tells Us

Didyme’s murder by Aro (and with Caius’ apparent assistance, either during or afterwards), is only mentioned on the page in Life and Death, the 10th Anniversary gender-swapped version of Twilight. Edythe/Edward mentions it briefly when discussing the painting of the leaders Carine/Carlisle brought back from Volterra, but it’s just background information with little narrative weight. I bring it up just to highlight Caius’ involvement and knowledge -- I’ll get back to that.

Now, here’s the “canon” backstory we have to work with. Per the illustrated guide, Didyme was Aro’s younger sister, and he turned her at some point after meeting Marcus, Caius, and Athenadora. Interestingly, the Guide doesn’t say anything about Aro returning to Didyme out of brotherly love; apparently he just wanted to see if she would have a powerful gift like his, only to be underwhelmed (”disappointed,” according to his Guide entry) by her actual ability -- she made people happy just by being around them. Then she and Marcus fell in love, sharing “the strongest romantic bond of any of the Volturi” (from Marcus’ Guide entry), and this prompted a suddenly very single Aro to seek out his own mate, Sulpicia. The Guide says Didyme “distracted” Marcus from Aro’s goals, and that the pair eventually made plans to split off on their own, leading Aro to murder Didyme so he could hold onto Marcus and his valuable gift. Although nothing written so far suggests that Aro even liked his sister, the Guide does state that Aro “truly loved her” and that his grief upon killing Didyme was genuine.

Apparently Caius’ role in all is was something Meyer thought up later, because none of the leaders’ Guide entries mention him being in on it. (You can’t see me, but I’m staring pointedly at Part One.)

2.2. Fuck Canon, Actually

(This just seemed like the funniest place for a cut. Continued below~)

I’ll be honest with you, person who’s persistent/unfortunate enough to still be here: very little about this murder scenario makes sense to me. I’m going to start with the “disappointing” nature of Didyme’s gift and that it was supposedly much less useful to Aro than Marcus’, because that’s just...stupid, frankly, and there’s no way Aro would have missed the inherent utility of Didyme’s gift. I don’t even have to read into anything to get this idea -- the Guide itself shows us how useful it is! It says right there in Marcus’ entry that Aro went off to turn Didyme, and returned with his sister, “along with the first members of the guard -- vampires who were drawn to Didyme’s aura of happiness.” That is a direct quote.

Just -- I practically shrieked when I read that. You’re telling me that Didyme’s gift was the stated reason their coven got its first subordinates, and I’m supposed to believe that Aro thought that was disappointing? Fuck off! Fuck off!! Even if Didyme’s happiness aura isn’t as powerful as Corin’s opium haze, well, Aro doesn’t have Corin yet, does he? He has every reason in the world to want to keep Didyme around, drawing other vampires to his cause -- even if most of those vampires aren’t gifted or skilled enough to join the guard, it’s still good PR.

At this early stage in the Volturi’s rise to power, it isn’t a good time to lose Didyme -- or any of his inner coven, really. Yet Aro apparently considered her disposable enough that he killed her. I can’t square this with what we know about Aro: that he’s still coherent despite holding god-knows how many people’s lives in his head; that he’s very intelligent; that he’s cunning, charming, and persuasive. Aro, once he learned they were thinking about leaving, would have tried to talk to Didyme and Marcus and done everything in his power to convince them to stay just a bit longer, until the Volturi’s position was more secure. And maybe he did; the timeline of all this is hazy, but nothing in the Guide suggests that Aro jumped straight to duplicity and murder. Clearly, though, whatever negotiations or arguments he presented failed. So what does their desire to leave the Volturi at this critical stage say about Didyme, or Marcus for that matter?

2.3. What It Says About Didyme and Marcus (Mostly Headcanon)

Brace yourself, because we’re into full headcanon territory now. To follow me, please refer to @therealvinelle ‘s meta about the larger mission of the Volturi and why they’re necessary, because I’m starting from the perspective that the Volturi are ultimately a force working in vampires’ and humans’ favor. While Meyer and the Guide would have you believe that Aro’s just power-hungry, actually looking at the impact of the Volturi and the benefits of enforcing secrecy shows that his broader vision isn’t just world domination, but establishing a world in which vampires and humans can both thrive and endure. There’s no way the rest of the inner coven was unaware of this goal; we know Aro talks a lot, so he’s certainly talked his coven’s ears off about this.

Now, we know very little about Marcus and what he was like before he was all dead inside. Based on what would be a logical balance of personalities, with Aro as lead decision-maker and Caius as ruthless enforcer, it seems likely that Marcus was originally the voice of reason and/or mercy. I also think Marcus would have had a strong sense of duty. The Guide says that Aro was the first friend Marcus had as a vampire, and I believe that Marcus cared about him very much and was committed to the Volturi. I think he would have been genuinely conflicted about leaving, especially considering the stabler, safer world the Volturi have been striving to build, and which they haven’t yet secured. Again, it’s a very bad time for any of the leadership to split off -- but in the end, Marcus and Didyme are going to do it anyway.

What for, though? Why leave? @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin has an interesting take on that question here: that Didyme saw that she and Marcus would be locked into the Volturi life and a thankless existence for eternity and tried to opt out while she still could. I like it a lot, it’s a great post and that scenario makes sense, but the tone of it feels...too forgiving. Maybe that’s because I’m evil. But the way I see it, given the magnitude of the Volturi’s mission, and its (at best) very tenuous grip on power at the time Marcus and Didyme plan to leave (they haven’t even defeated the Romanians yet), jeopardizing the entire operation so that they can pursue their romance unburdened strikes me as...well, fundamentally selfish on some level, so much that I find myself side-eyeing Didyme and Marcus for it. Although to be clear, it’s not the desire to live their own lives apart from the Volturi that I find selfish, just the timing of their departure.

Honestly, I’d like not to vilify another female character if I don’t have to. Given everything I’ve just said, I see Didyme in much the same way as I see Bella: not a bad person, but someone with definite selfish tendencies. At best, she’s likely short-sighted or naive if she doesn’t see how leaving the Volturi at this stage is fucking them over in a big way. However, I hesitate to read into the happiness aura as a straightforward indication of Didyme’s fundamental goodness; I think she probably was kind, charming, and delightful to be around, hence the nature of her gift -- but that capacity for selfishness is still there. (I’m certain Meyer wants us to take her gift as proof of Didyme’s goodness, to reinforce how evil Aro is for killing her...but I think I’ve made my disdain for what Meyer wants me to think pretty clear.)

2.4. MURDER MOST FOUL

I am not saying it was justifiable or okay for Aro to murder his sister. I’m really not. It’s actually better, from a character standpoint, that it isn’t okay -- that Aro has to carry this with him for the rest of his life while Marcus sits in the throne next to him, reduced to a husk, so that in effect Aro has lost them both after all. It’s got that Greek tragedy element @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin​ mentioned in her post. (Even better from that standpoint, the Guide implies that Aro found Chelsea relatively soon after killing Didyme, which compounds the tragedy.) I mean, it’s terrible, and it hurts me because I love Aro, but it’s compelling stuff.

What I am saying is, I can see how their insistence on leaving might have deeply hurt and offended him. And that brings me to my issue with the calculated murder scenario the Guide gives us -- I still think Didyme’s gift is too valuable for Aro to throw away by killing her in cold...venom (or whatever), even as the price for keeping Marcus in the fold. Plus, there’s the fact that Aro does love Didyme, and I imagine her gift makes it very difficult for people to think of harming her...when they’re calm, anyway.

Yeah, the only way I can really see the murder happening is if Aro killed Didyme in the heat of an argument about her leaving, possibly even by accident -- except you can’t accidentally kill a vampire, can you? It’s a very deliberate process wherein you have to dismember them and burn every piece, which also means it probably takes long enough that any irrational, overwhelming rage would wear off before you were done. But now that you’ve started....

I mean, at that point it would certainly be awkward to put your half-rubble sister back together, and Aro would be in a whole other load of shit even if he did. It’s possible, given what we’re told, that Aro could have lashed out and yanked Didyme’s head off before snapping out of it, only to realize that his sole option now is to finish the job. If he doesn’t kill Didyme now, she and Marcus won’t just leave, they’ll be sworn enemies of Aro from then on. And thanks to Didyme’s gift being the draw for a lot of the guard, and the inherently bad look of a leader who would brutally attack his own sister, a chunk of the guard would probably leave with them, destroying Aro’s plans. No, the only way to salvage it is to follow through.

Then Aro has to call in Caius for help with the cover-up, because it wasn’t actually planned and it’s just pure luck that no one walked in on the murder as it was happening.

And maybe Aro learns a hard lesson about learning to let people walk away, leaving the possibility open that they could be drawn in again. Because if Aro had just waited, he would have found Chelsea, and with her gift he could have had Marcus and Didyme back again.

Assuming everything didn’t fall apart as soon as they left, of course. But that’s a whole other what-if scenario.

#and those are my thoughts on didyme #...mostly #but i need a break now #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #didyme volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #sources cited: #therealvinelle #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin #i'm going to go lie down

[buffinbonkers]

Inspired from: Bleach on the Brain by: @therealvinelle

(and part two: Leech in the Rain w/@theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin)

Sepcifically: Chapter 19: Aro Makes a Terrible Mistake

"Aro looked up at Carlisle to find him watching him.

Wordlessly, he held out his hand. «Given the circumstances, you should know how my family broke apart, and what Edward has turned into. And I would rather you read my mind than Carlie or Rosalie’s.»

Aro looked at the hand Carlisle was offering. Palm upturned, slim, long fingers, it was a hand that fit so well around Aro’s own, there had been a time when it seemed that hand was made for his.

One touch, and he would know- everything."

Ya girls getting better at photoshop, I think. I so wanted to add the leaf in the hair mentioned but we're not there yet. Anyway this is Aro/Carlisle's reunion at the trial in the desert.

#carlisle cullen #twlight #alex pettyfer #bleach on the brain #this will free me for a while #At a certain point you just gotta stop editing and post #fuck it till next time #There was also no way I was going to be able to do the glittering skin #...yet #backgrounds are difficult too #more so when there MOVING #Should have prob added more pink to his lips but whatevver #aro #aro volturi #volturi