#there are a loooot of stuff i wanna talk about and share these days and just talk
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i realized i dont ever really post about my life stuff on here anymore since i created a private diary blog, and yknow, if i saw someone still posting regularly id assume they were at least alive. but, i feel like sharing a bit bout life since i have posted pretty personal stuff on here in the past.
its been just about a month short of a year since my dad died. like any death its been very up and down, really effected my grandpa and we're not sure if he's gonna make it through this year. but my dads death left me with this entire house and all the stuff in it, and ive been trying to get stuff goin on that so we can sell this house bc its way too big for me, but its hard lmao. i have a case worker now and we talked yesterday, hopefully she'll be able to figure something out. im just overwhelmed when looking at realtors, theres so many fgudislfgusla
im still currently in school, doing it all online, to get my teaching license. im gonna graduate a lil later than planned bc i took the rest of the semester off last fall for uh. clear reasons. but i have my full course planned out for the rest of what i have left! if all goes according to plan i should graduate spring 2025 with a license to teach 7-12 social studies :3
a loooot of stuff has gone on in the mental health department. lot of changed diagnoses. but not to the point of like, changing much about... much. just like. 'oh yea that makes a lot more sense'. and some of the therapeutic approaches have changed in response. but what has changed- when i was initially actually diagnosed with adhd we tried medication and it did jack shit, and then i moved and couldnt follow up. so now i finally have been going to my psych regularly and we tried a higher dosage and i didnt expect it to do anything but holy SHIT it helps so much it actually kind of pisses me off. so many things that were so difficult that i didnt even think about being difficult are so greatly alleviated. the knowledge that so much of my suffering could have been lessened or even entirely avoided if i had been diagnosed and treated properly when i should have been, imma be real, it pisses me off. but, it is what it is, and i have it now. this is also part of why i wanna go into teaching, i wanna help avoid this for as many others as i can.
a lot of the stuff that has been improving for me is very personal stuff that i dont think ive ever really even talked about here. just, general day to day life stuff. functioning as an adult human. that kinda stuff. i know a lot of this post sounds negative, but overall, im doing pretty well. depends on the day, ofc. right now i feel fantastic, yesterday i felt like shit, but im much better at dealing with it now than i used to be.
yeehaw.
#personal#long post#idk if anyone who doesnt already know all of this will even read this lmao#o well i wanna have it here for POSTERITY
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LET’S TALK ABOUT THE PLANES PART 3!?
Continuing on, this time we’re looking at:
THE ELEMENTAL PLANES:
Okay so the elemental planes. Seems pretty self explanatory right? Plane of water’s just gunna be a big ocean, plane of air’s gunna be clear skies right?
Well, no. Kind of! But no. See when designing the elemental planes, they had to design them so that adventures could be had there. As a result each plane kind of has to have a biiit of variety. Like, the plane of earth isn’t just solid rock, and has caves and stuff! And the plane of fire isn’t just...y’know...a lot of regular fire. Needless to say however, before one goes to one of these places, you’re probably going to want to have an appropriate form of movement, be it water breathing and swimming, flying, burrowing or “being fire proof and also able to walk”.
In addition to being thematic and fun, the elemental planes have some of the most varied and interesting inhabitants. Each and every one of them is worth involving in your campaign if you can spare the thought.
Each of these places has their own flavour of genie. Genies tend to be kinda...Well, not super nice honestly. Some are nicer than others though. In general The Dao(earth) and Efreeti(fire) are kinda rat bastards, while the Marid(water) and Djinni(air) are more chill.
ELEMENTAL PLANE OF EARTH:
Structure: Despite being, by vast majority, an infinitely spanning ever grinding and shifting mass of various rock, gems, ores and so on, this fairly down to earth plane also features some well grounded caves, tunnel systems, fissures and engineered pockets that allow for creatures without earth glide/burrowing abilities to make their way along.
Inhabitants: Earth elementals, Dao, Xorn, Pech and so on. Dao are earth aligned Genie who are honourable in always returning a favour, and have a respect for craftsmanship, in plans, tools, art and anything else. They’re also typically giant dicks. Xorn are just cool diggy boys who eat rocks and look like living nightmares, please don’t hit these good boys :(
Threats: Well, as in most of the elemental planes, the genies are kinda...Rude. Aside from that however, earth elementals can be cranky if you go marching through their home and also sometimes the air can be less “air” and more “Deadly deadly poison gas”. Watch out for that. Also Basilisks.
Notable things: Seriously I cannot stress this enough: This is prime wizard real estate. Sure the fire plane has more trade you can do, but you just *cannot* beat the elemental plane of earth for security and subtlety. The whole place is also full of wildly valuable gems and metal ores, just be careful it’s not a Xorn’s dinner.
Further reading: Well, the Dao are possibly worth looking into, though like many things in D&D lore, it’s just RIDDLED with unnecessary slavery. Xorn, while extremely cool are pretty simple dudes. Honestly the earth plane’s biggest strength is it’s simplicity.
ELEMENTAL PLANE OF FIRE:
Structure: Okay so this is gunna get funky. But believe it or not, structure wise, this one is the MOST normal. It has ground, rivers, air, the whole kaboodle. ‘cept the ground is made of very dense fire. And the rivers are made of slightly less dense fire. And the air is poison gas and also a little bit of fire as well. Don’t come here, it sucks.
Inhabitants: Okay this is actually why you come here. See the fire genies known as efreeti are the primary inhabitants. (Salamanders and fire elementals live here too, but Salamanders are kinda just nasty fire snake people) They’re kinda egotistical and like to give themselves noble titles and stuff, BUT they are an ingenious bunch that, in spite of being evil dickheads, are really good at business.
Threats: WELL THE WHOLE PLACE IS MADE OF FIRE AND THE AIR IS TOXIC GAS MOST OF THE TIME UNLESS YOU’RE IN THE EFREET CITY AND ALSO FIRE ELEMENTALS AND STUFF SO YEAH. The Brass city is also a scary place to be if you can’t hold your own. Someone might try to just sell you. So long as the efreeti think you’re impressive enough that you would be a threat to fight, you should be safe to trade however.
Notable things: THE BRASS CITY!! This is quite possibly one of the most fascinating things about ALL of the elemental planes. See the efreeti in all their egoism and whatnot decided “Yes, we’re obviously the best place, and should have all the best things, but we really cannot be fucked making it all. Lets just get people to GIVE us the things we want AND pay us lip service.” And so they made the single biggest interplanar bazaar in the multiverse. It’s literally the ultimate black market magic emporium in the setting. It’s also specially enchanted to be HABITABLE to creatures not literally made of fire!!! Good shit!!!
Further reading: Really, just the brass city. Learn about this place. It’s fucking rad.
ELEMENTAL PLANE OF WATER:
Structure: Okay this one’s interesting again. Imagine an infinite ocean with no surface and no seafloor. The pressure is consistently that of maybe a couple of meters deep. There are huge underwater icebergs in some places, enormous three dimensional reefs on floating island sized rocks in others, and currents bearing salty, fresh, murky or boiling waters throughout. It’s a trip.
Inhabitants: Water elementals, Tritons, Nereids, the water genies known as Marids and a vast array of oceany monsters. Marids are...Fun. They’re egotists to the extreme and will respond very, very well to flattery and bribes, as they tell winding tales of their glory. Don’t interrupt them, don’t question the validity of the story. Yes, you DO believe they personally ripped off 6 of Tiamats original 11 heads. You’re very impressed.
Threats: The place is a giant swimming pool with no surface, so...try not to drown. Also keep an eye out for horrible horrible sea monsters and deadly algea that comes in as a wall on the tide. And, again, be respectful of the Marid you’re speaking to and appreciate that so long as you are, he’ll probably be..maybe not nice, but amiable.
Notable things: The variety of creatures that live on this plane truly is quite impressive, Marids share this place with at least two seperate sea dwelling deep creatures that see themselves as on par with, or above the gods, these being the Kraken and Aboleth. (probably avoid both if you can)
Further reading: Honestly both krakens and aboleths are so well developed creature types that you should probably look ‘em both up if you wanna present this place right. Marids are also, as mentioned. Fun.
ELEMENTAL PLANE OF AIR:
Structure: Pretty simple stuff: Endless skies. A few floating islands here and there, approximately the size of an asteroid. pockets of non-air gasses No bottom, no top. Jump off the side on an air ship and wait a few days worth of falling and you might be able to fall past your airship again.
Inhabitants: Honestly more limited than a lot of other places, mostly just the Djinni and air elementals. Djinni are actually nice! Mostly! They’re pretty much the only genie that’s not gunna do bad things to you if you don’t tip toe around them. Also storm and cloud giants occasionally wander about the place, which is kinda neat!
Threats: Mooostly just the fact that if you fall, and can’t fly, you’re a little fucked. Aside from that, air elementals come in a great many forms and some of them can be pretty scary. OH and the giant super duper massive storm of unreasonable doom. Avoid that.
Notable things: Because Djinni are the most friendly, trusting and open of all genie kind, and also most likely to visit the material plane, they’re also the most commonly trapped in bottles and such. If you see a djinni trapped in a bottle, don’t be a dick, let him out. He’d let you out. Be a bro. C’mon.
Further reading: Uhhh, Honestly because they’re nicer, Djinni have less written about them, they’re still worth a look however. The cloud and storm giants are also worth reading into, loooots of juicy lore behind giants.
I will get to the feywilds and shadowfell eventually, I promise.
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Bored? Want some Tea? Here:
I just found out my "best friend" of 8+ years got a matching tattoo with her best friend...what the fuck. Let's call her G, well G turned 18 in May and my birthday isn't until the end of this month. We told each other we'd wait for each other so we can get it together...she didn't even tell me right away. The other girl, uhh S drove her (she's 18) and they got Kuromi and MyMelody. G told me 3-4 days afterwards only because she was buzzing with excitement (from what I could tell in her methods of texting). The worst part is that S is the girl she abandoned me for in 5th grade. She never called me her best friend and when people would ask I'd say it and she'd deny it. But G was never so quiet about S. I'm jealous because S is like me but more bold and loud. That's pretty much it. And it makes me sad because now people think I'm trying to be like her.
Fun fact: G once spent the weekend over at my house and actually spent more than 3 hours talking on the phone with S...and worse yet, she didn't want me to hear the convo so she locked herself in my restroom. I mean, I took this time to purge my food out but what the fuck. Who does that? She's always done shit like this and never shows me kindness and is hardly there for me when I put so much effort and love into our relationship. I can't even cut her off because I feel bad for her and don't want her to be alone. But I just think I'm also incapable of doing it because I know how well she'd do without me. She'd make a scene and cry to everybody saying I cut her off for no reason and then get their sympathy and have more fun without me in her life. She's done something similar before. I've told her so many things...deep secrets. Although, not the worst ones nor many. Well I did tell her a LOOOOT but I like to sacrifice the less important stuff and "overshare" so that people never suspect you're actually hiding so much inside. Ugh, I'd always share to try and get her to open up and trust me but she never did. I understand it's hard for her to talk it is for me too! But I'm actively trying to become a better person. That's the difference. But I could never really trust her either. It makes me sad. She never shows me off, gives gifts (besides sometimes on holidays b/c I'm a big gift giver), does favors for me, tells me words of endearment, or spends time with me. She would never say I'm her bsf unless she says "bestie" in a sentence. She isn't as fortunate as I am in money (although my family's broke rn haha) but I always put her needs before mine and she could just give random rocks or flowers she finds on the ground. But she doesn't. Not even a little piece of paper with a smiley face on it or anything. I'd do that all the time. I always try to make sure she knows I'm there for her and say words of affirmation all the time. She'd just roll her eyes or say "ew" "playfully". But at least she knew. I tried to be affectionate and she craves physical touch but yet, she couldn't accept it. So I understood but made it very clear I wouldn't mind holding her hand or hugging her or wtv. And sometimes we did hold hands. But she'd always complain about craving physical touch and I'd just look at her like "hello what did I say? I'm here for you dude". She would also never really do anything for me. Sure she did small favors like plug in something for me but otherwise she didn't even help me turn light switches off when I was using crutches. SHE'D WATCH ME LIMP TO RETRIEVE THINGS LIKE BRO. Sure she had her nice moments but there were a lot more moments where she wasn't so nice.
But maybe well maybe she didn't tell me about her tattoo b/c I never respond (i struggle with depression and social anxiety so I get scared to respond to texts) (i was also sick when she got it). But she could've. She never texts me first :(. I always have to text her and she never checks on me and I randomly make sure she's alive and at least trying to stay hydrated. Holy crap...she never texts me first. I'm starting to realize a lot more things. OH and she wouldn't really try to do stuff together unless it benefited her. Like when she was home alone or stuck babysitting her lil sis, she'd ask if we wanted to hang out and ofc I said yes (unless I was unable). Or like, since my parents are strict, she wouldn't even try to ask me and one time, S picked up G and then asked me if I wanted to go to Sonic with them and I asked my parents and they said yes. We had fun together but I felt like the 3rd wheel. Oh also btw S is dating my ex boyfriend that I had to break up with because my depression was getting severe because I realized I had been raped by another guy. I love him (S's boyfriend not-) but he always had a thing for S. And it hurts me so much, but as long as he's happy...that's all I want for him. Even if it can't be with me... anyways G told S she doesn't ever try to invite me anymore since it's likely my parents'll say no. But like...i could at least try. It's always good to invite someone even if you know they can't or are busy. It's just basic etiquette. She was very two-faced as well. She'd talk behind my back and betray me easily. She'd spill my secrets to S because she wasn't loyal to me and I was...one time, she started hanging out with someone dangerous. Someone who spreads rumors and purposely causes drama. So I warned her about it and she told the girl. I ended up getting into a talk with the other girl. She came up to me "Can I talk to you?". I so should've said no. I will now. I'm growing. I'm learning how to not be duch a doormat and that saying no is my right. It's just really hard when those people try to beat you down because of it. But that was it. G was the closest thing I had to a "best friend". I'm always everyone's last choice. I'm not anyone's favorite or preferred friend. I'm the forgettable one in the group. I'm not special. I really just want to die. I'm all alone. Perpetually alone. I'm not perfect, and I'm fucked up too. But, I try to be the kindest for people. Because I don't want them to feel the way I do. I crave affection. I need validation from others. I care so much about what others think...
I like being alone but it gets tiresome when you've done it all your life ans have felt different from everyone. I think I'm a terrible person because I can't cut her off but want to do it to her before she does it to me so that it protects my dignity and because I have pride...well tbh it's more like if I do it first, I'm not being rejected so that I won't cry as much bevause someone doesn't like me. This post is getting long. There's more but it's 2:52AM. Oh and for those who wanna know, G is a Gemini and I'm a Virgo. S is a Sagittarius and her boyfriend is a Cancer. I miss him dearly. Well time to watch cheesy tween romance characters to fulfill that need.
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fic writer interview
I was tagged by the illustrious and wonderfully talented @electricshoebox like...days ago and then promptly forgot. But I wanna do it! So here goes.
Name: Straight to the difficult questions, huh? Fine...Lillian.
Where you post: Pretty much exclusively my AO3
Most Popular One-shot: Don’t have a one-shot yet, because I am a wee fanfic baby. Might work on fixing that soon.
Most Popular Multichap: Dogfight! First fic I ever wrote. Deacon/F!Sole Rosie Castevet who is both a badass and a crybaby, miraculously at the same time. I personally think it’s a bit...rough. Especially at the beginning, but hey! I’m learning! I’ve learnt! I...you get the idea.
Favorite story you’ve written so far: It’s actually turning out to be Fugue State, my Maccready/F!Sole fic. Like I said, I’ve improved a lot and I started this one off solid. I love Midge, and I love her and Maccready’s dynamic, and because of their personalities, I get to hold a loooot of stuff back. Kid back in the Capital Wasteland, who? Tragic backstory involving the death of a beloved brother, what? More trauma between the both of them than you can shake a stick at but they both refuse to share, where? In my other fic, Dogfight, Rosie kinda just...tells people stuff. She doesn’t see the point in hiding it. Whereas Deacon’s the one who shares small pieces at a time, (after spilling his guts about his dead wife.) Now I’ve got two stubborn idiots who hate showing weakness. Fuck yeah. Those idiots are gonna take forever to kiss.
Fic you were nervous to post: Fucking both of them.
How do you choose your titles: Funnily enough, both of the titles of both of my fics relate to the sole survivor’s career prewar. Rosie is a fighter pilot, hence the name Dogfight. Midge is a pianist. Fugue State is both a reference to a literal fugue, (a type of musical composition,) and a psychological fugue state. Losing your identity and sense of individuality and having to work to get it back. Who are you without the spouse you lost, you know? Both Midge and Maccready have to figure that out through the course of the fic, and...you know...some of us take longer than others.
Do you outline: Pfft. No. And I think it’s very obvious. Every time I try to outline anything I just end up...writing it. I have a structure in mind and I know where I want to go and (mostly) how I want to get there, but no, I don’t outline. I usually let the characters guide me through the story and...voila. I let those words flooow baby!
Complete: none. :) you’re welcome.
In progress: ALL. BOTH. OFTEN WRITING FOR BOTH FICS AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE I’M A BIG DUMMY. Actually, I have been focusing more of my energy into Fugue State lately, but I’m still a big ol dummy head. Don’t be fooled.
Coming soon/not yet started: So, uh...I may have written little snippets from Mac’s eventual trip to DC in Fugue State...including interacting with that universe’s lone wanderer...and it made me totally want to write the fic. It did. So, yes. I have a tentative idea and foundation for a fallout 3 lone wanderer fic. Oh, you wanna know the pairing? Well too bad, so sad, buckaroo. My lips are sealed.
Okay it’s Female Lone Wanderer/Butch Deloria but you didn’t hear it from me.
Prompts?: Never done them. Not opposed. Not sure!
Upcoming work you’re most excited about: Oh, you’re trying to get me to talk about that lone wanderer fic, huh? Well, move on, buster! I’m not even sure I’m gonna do it. Yes I am. It’s not like I even have a solid basis for who my lone wanderer even is. Yes I totally do her name is Jane and she has a very cool baseball bat and I love her.
Tagging anyone who wants to do it! I’ll be the fall guy, don’t worry. Just say I tagged you and do your lil interview you cutie patootie, you. 😘
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My 1st rice wine - 11 day journey
Sharing my 1st ever rice wine-making experience with you~
Makgeolli is a sweet, rice wine that originated in Korea. I did a loooot of research on it, & I have been thinking about making it for a long time. I really like this drink! I have even been to the hometown of makgeolli - Jeonju City - & tried the “mother makgeolli” there. It’s much sweeter than the commercial stuff! In modern times, the flavours have changed significantly. Now, there’s floral, fruit, & other Asian-inspired flavours like ginseng, jujube, & ginger. I’ve tried several fruit flavours, & I gotta say. .. the original is always the best!
Start with “chapssal” rice, which is a round glutinous rice. I didn’t have the Korean kind, but I have the Chinese equivalent, so I used that. Majority of recipes I’ve read/seen on Youtube start with at least 1kg of rice o_O for a first timer, I didn’t want to commit 1kg of rice to this project... so I used 250g.
Wash the rice (I washed 6x), till the water is not murky. It’ll still be a little cloudy but that’s ok. Then soak for at least 3hrs.
Bcos I didn’t have as much rice than the recipes, I shorted the time to 2.5hrs.
Drain / somewhat ‘dry’ the rice (a little bit of wetness left is acceptable).
I didn’t have a colander with small enough holes for draining the rice.. . so I did it my way, which was using coffee filter.
I basically patted it dry, then gave the rice a mix, & blotted again, etc.. . The reason why I used coffee filter rather than paper towel was bcos I find coffee filter paper more absorbent & has less fibrous material. At the end of the day, whatever works, right?
PS: I have seen ppl using a hand-held mini fan to dry the rice. I don’t know how I feel about that =/ Not that my kitchen is dirty or dusty, but wouldn’t you be introducing particles to the rice??? *shrugs* I don’t know. The idea didn’t work for me.
Let it air dry a bit. This drying process took me a little over 30mins from start to finish.
While the rice is drying, prepare your steaming apparatus. We have one of these 2-level steamers, so I used it (changing it to a 1-level steamer).
Begin steaming time when you introduce the rice to a fully boiling steaming apparatus. Most recipes say 30-40mins, then let cool for ~20mins. I steamed for 25mins, & that is bcos I used a smaller amount of rice. You just need the rice to be fully cooked, right?
*Most ppl used a cheesecloth to wrap the rice, then place it into the steamer. From what I read, the reason was simply a ‘convenient’ one since sticky rice sticks to bowls & such - using a cloth allowed for easier clean-up / transferring of the steamed rice to another thing. .. therefore, no, a cheesecloth is not needed. I used the same metal steaming dish to steam my rice.
Cooling...
Flip the rice over a few times to loosen it up. Then dry thoroughly - as in the outside of the grain should be hard, but the inside should still be chewy/soft.
*Maangchi uses a dehydrator. Other ppl just let it sit out for x hrs. .. Some overnight! I chose the overnight option - mainly bcos I started this project too late in the day so by the time I finished steaming, it was almost 9pm...
Good morning! Here’s the rice after ~12hrs of drying. I think it matches the description of hard exterior & soft interior.
1st thing you wanna do during/after the drying of the steamed rice is sterilizing your equipment that you’re about to use! This is important for obvious reasons but long story short, you don’t want your fermentation/brewing vessel to have contamination.
I sterilized 2 diff glass jars bcos I wanted to see which one would work better (for the future makings hehe). After sterilizing, dry & let it cool.
Here’s the *mystery* part that determines whether or not my project will work out or not :S :S :S :S :S ...
Koreans use an item called “nu-ruk” for making makgeollis. When you are somewhat of a trilingual (lol!), sometimes it gets confusing. .. I was unable to find nu-ruk at Hmart =( I searched online for what the English name is. .. & lines started blurring. No joke. It got maybe a little worse once I entered the Chinese searches =/ amylase enzyme, yeast, starter culture, “nuruk”, fermentation base... WHAT ?!?!?!?!?!? What are all these things, & what’s the difference?
Last yr some time (bcos I started reading up on making makgeolli last yr), I bought this from T&T - which is ‘rice cake’ .... a term that I never read about lol
To make matters worse, I thought I had understood it, but then when you compare recipes in English, in Chinese, & in Korean (both text & visual versions on Youtube).. . there is discrepancy. & once again, I fell back into the hole of unknowing what these things are.
In brief, I have found the following variations of recipes:
* rice + water + nuruk
* rice + water + nuruk + yeast
* rice + water + ‘culture starter’
* rice + water + “yeast”
... does this mean nuruk = yeast = culture starter? *shrugs* I have no idea.
I have also read somewhere that nuruk is a combo of yeast & culture starter(s)? Whaaaaaaa... !!
Anyway, I only have this ?nuruk. Chinese ppl use this to make rice wine, & it looks almost identical to Korean makgeolli. Even the procedural aspect of it.
Instead of nuruk being the sole 3rd item for makgeolli, this ‘rice cake’ is the 3rd item for rice wine....... Welps, let’s roll with this & see what we get!
Crush the rice cake balls.
I used 4 balls, which was ~40g total, & then added 10 tbsp cooled boiled water. Please note that the ~40g was a last minute amount that I had decided on bcos. .. I honestly have no idea what this really is & diff recipes say diff things, including the amount so.. . whatever. Do not use warm or hot water as this will “kill” the effects of this powder (nuruk/yeast/culture starter).
Mix into a paste.
~150mL of water. Be sure to use cooled boiled water instead of filtered water. I believe filtered water is not ideal for making rice wine bcos it contains microorganisms as well as chloride. Anyway, either use distilled bottled water or boiled water.
Mix in the dried rice.
Put in fermentation vessel; remember to leave an opening for it to breathe, otherwise, it’ll create a “bomb” lol (remember by kimchi bomb from a few months ago?!)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Day1: ...not looking right? I don’t know; the rice is like all dry, & the water is all soaked up........
Day2: I have some moisture inside the container, & I’m seeing a little bit of water.
Day3: :D This is looking much better!! So the “yeast” or whatever I added (the ‘rice cakes’) takes some time to kick in. Bcos it’s day 3, I gave it a stir, & more water was ‘released’ from the rice. The liquid is a little cloudy; & the smell is . .. legit!
Day5: More liquid content YAY! Honestly, it wasn’t until day 5, where I felt a bit at ease that fermentation was happening. So don’t worry if for the 1st few days it doesn’t look right.. . give it some time.
Day 7: Wowwwww more liquid, stronger scent. When I stirred it, I felt the rice had turned really soft. It’s like mushy, almost.
Day 9: This was after stirring- a milky white liquid. Some sources talk about seeing 3 visible layers... I did not. That being said, I felt pretty good about this since everything else is working out. You can also hear loud-ish popping sounds from the gas formation.
Day 10: It is looking ready!
The final look on day 11! Look at those beautiful holes on the sides of the container :D
Part 2 of this project coming up next!
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April art from Patreon !!!
Copy and Pasted from Patreon >w> There’s a lot to say here cuz these characters were around the time I first made OCs back in middle school. They’ve gone through many revisions design wise and personality wise v/w/v <3
Also sorry for my absence ;w; I don’t come around to Tumblr as much since the ban;;; And a lot of art lately has not been focused on sfw stuff, so it’s a bit hard to be here at all. Either way though, I do appreciate the fact people still follow this account ;w; Currently working on Sabers as much as I can and am at the halfway point with colors... Depending on how fast I can be, hopefully Sabers can update sometime in late June/Early July. OTL
About Mercier and Shimo : Verrrry old ocs that I've had longer than I've had Noel but just around the same age. My boys Shimo and Mercier are very personal babies that I've kept with me since middle/high school. They've changed a lot since then and so have their stories, so bear with me when I type it all out ;v;
Starting with Mercier (His nickname is 'Ion' so just remember that lol), he's somewhat of a typical case of 'straight A student becomes a rebellious wild case' due to a number of things in his upbringing that caused a huge change in personality. Though he's blunt, brash and overall rude, he's got a good heart when it counts for people he cares about. But being someone that is a loooot more destructive than most of my OCs, Ion dabbles in really shitty friend circles that promote shitty behavior. He thinks himself to be garbage and doesn't really wanna change, but his better friends (his best friend and roommate, Zadoc, and a couple other bros, which includes Shimo), all keep him from ultimately doing the worst kind of shit he possibly can. He can't technically 'die' due to a rapid healing ability of his (which he negatively exploits for fun), so there's a lot less care for himself in a lot of his actions.
Shimo on the other hand, likes to think he's very different from Mercier. They're both very sure they're stark opposites but it's more in how they carry themselves. Shimo is a lot less of a blunt asshole, and tends to keep his actual emotions to himself. He's used to unwarranted attention so he puts on smiles a lot. It also comes at the cost of his own ability of reading minds, which he honestly hates. Having that chance of knowing people's true intentions or emotions and hearing them openly lie about it, whether it's for the best or not really irks Shimo in a bad way. He too is exactly like that and he's just not okay with it. Honesty is very important to him and for that he kind of admires Mercier for being so blunt about everything (vice versa, Mercier is jealous that Shimo can keep his emotions and issues to himself). It also doesn't help that having albinism has brought very unwanted attention from a male teacher that has acted on very damaging thoughts to which Shimo has suffered abuse from that. So he and Mercier can relate with one another on these shared experiences that they mostly talk to each other about. It's the one connecting tissue that brings these two together as friends as they used to hate one another due to Mercier's brash personality.
Both boys come to a place of admiration of one another, though there's a lot of rough patches thanks to Ion being so openly shitty to Shimo from time to time. They're basically the trope of 'two dudes that hate each other but are more alike than they want to admit'. They come together at some point and Shimo dates the girl Mercier used to like lol. It's not a scummy sort of way, they just liked the same girl and she picked Shimo. Mercier gets his own gf who also fits his high libido later on... but that's after he goes through his really bad and really horrible womanizing stage from partying all the time. Mercier is a hypersexual boy who uses sex and alcohol to cope with his problems;;;
These two have... a lot of history... and a few of my last surviving straight boys LOL. I love them so much, it's taken me a long while to feel anything motivating me to draw them again ;o; <3
About Kai : Mercier's family consists of his parents, his brother Kai and his adopted sister Nasome (Na-So-May). They're kind of dysfunctional, with most issues consisting with Mercier and his parents. Kai here is a bit more timid than his older brother. He and his sister are very close. Though he really admires Mercier in many ways, there's a part of him that also feels a bit embarrassed over his actions. Mercier ain't perfect of course, and he tends to act out a lot and argue with their mother a lot as she seems to be the one that tries to drive him out of the house... to which Kai is caught in between being on his parent's side, or being on Mercier's. When he was younger he ofc, would choose his parents but nowadays, he's come to realize his parents play favorites (Kai mainly being the fav and overprotected one because their mom doesn't want him to end up like Mercier). He becomes a bit more critical of his folks as he gets older and starts to sympathize more with his older brother when coming to fully understand the reasons as to why he became so wild in the first place. The days when their uncle would come watch them and Mercier would be warded off elsewhere with the older man, at the time, never made sense till recently (Kai didn't understand what was happening;;;; ). These days though, Kai is a little more open to bringing Mercier into the house late at night cuz he misses his brother. Him and Nasome tend to visit him at his shitty apartment lol. But otherwise, Kai's takin care of his pet rabbit and hanging with his parents. He's got some personality hang ups i need to figure out tho ;w; <3
#Mercier#Shimo#Kai#Ion#Albinism#Albino#ocs#that trope with really soft boy and really trashy boy#but straightlol#and good babbi brother
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Psssst do you happen to have any tips or beginners links for newbies who are interested in getting in to the BJD hobby? 👀
*SOFT SCREECH* ALICE COME DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH ME... /CLAMBERS FOR
This is a very slap-dash tips post, because a full fledged crash-course would take me much longer than a day to assemble. I think this could get someone started, but I can always answer specific questions if you have them in the future. ❤️
BJD 101: For a rundown of definitions, terminology, and origins of the hobby, I highly recommend checking out the Wikipedia article. (Warning for old vaguely spooky doll photos) I honestly wish I just read this when I got started, haha. It’s not everything, but it’s definitely a start.
Study! Read as much as you possibly can!! Especially terminology and maintenance. I highly recommend watching a bunch of unboxing and review videos- it might seem silly, but they're really helpful to get an idea of scale, how they function/pose, and how they look and feel when handled by a human. I also recommend trying to find owner photos of dolls you’re interested in, because sometimes the store photos are limited!
Join a community! Consider joining a forum like den of angels or a facebook bjd group like BJD Addicts! Exposure to the hobby is really helpful and you learn way faster. It’s fine if you’re shy, you don’t have to interact if you don’t want to- I like lurking DoA for the valuable tutorials and threads on doll brands I'm interested in. Tip: You can view some of DoA’s threads without an account by searching "[subject/doll of choice] den of angels" in google, but i got tired of that pretty fast. Signing up takes a few weeks to get approved but it's worth it for all the knowledge, even old archived stuff.
Window-shop until you drop!! I think the number one regret in the hobby is 'too many dolls, not enough time to love any of them'. So I HIGHLY recommend making wish-lists. These help a lot with avoiding impulse purchases and buyer’s remorse. There are a loooot of dolls out there, so if you've seen a huge majority of them, you'll be more picky.
For me, wishlists include both dream/grail dolls, tentative desires i’m not sure about but want to remember the name of, dolls I could never afford but feel validated writing down somewhere, and also cataloging info- measurements, wig/eye/shoe sizes, resin colors, price, current availability, dealer websites, etc. it becomes such a godsend when you shop for them. you’ll thank me later!!
I spent a lot of time browsing dealer websites like Alice's Collections, Legenddoll, Denver Doll, DOLK Station, etc- I linked some of those here. This is to see what my tastes are. Not EVERY doll company will go through all or any dealers, but it’s a good start!
If you’re the social type, going to conventions or local bjd meetups can help with getting an idea of your preferences! I accidentally walked by one at sakuracon last year and got to hold an MSD and an 11cm tiny, and that was REALLY helpful for me to realize I DID like those sizes. If other doll owners will let you hold theirs, I totally recommend it! (Always ask first, of course! Not everyone is comfortable with it!)
Go!! Slow!!! if you think you're taking it easy, go even slower. i'm so serious. it's so easy to get dazzled, over-eager, or totally overwhelmed by this hobby. especially if you have a habit of hyper focus/special interest tenancies like i do.
Patience is a virtue anyway: If you’re not buying second-hand or in-stock dolls, you will be waiting a while for your doll. Anywhere from a few months to a year, depending on the company and how backlogged they may be at any given point. Dolls are usually pre-order and take time to be made.
Some people like to just buy sculpts and let a character ‘come to them’, which is absolutely valid so if you wanna just go on a feeling that’s great!! i totally can’t afford that route most of the time, so I spend a lot of time mood-boarding for my potential dolls using pinterest and my own art to see just how in love with an idea i am and highly recommend it. I’ll ramble about this in another post soon.
Budget! They are not very cheap like 10-20$ fashion dolls at wal-mart, so those new to the hobby may be shocked.This hobby is an investment and an indulgence/luxury, as with most Nice Things. But don’t be discouraged! There are affordable dolls out there, a lot of Dealer websites offer layaway plans, and the second-hand market is always circulating things!
Here is a DoA list of dolls that are under 300$.
Note: Size of dolls often scale with price, so the bigger it is, the more expensive (and HEAVY) it will be. Some videos on BJD sizing here and here, but Flickr is crawling with height comparisons as well.
Craft or Not To Craft: Are you team 'i'm gonna sew/craft stuff/do wigs/eyes/faceups for my doll' or team 'i'm gonna buy clothes/props/faceups/wigs/etc from other artists!'? I know most people end up being a little bit of both, but these things both cost time or money (or both) so you wanna think about that in the overall price when you're considering a doll. It seems intimidating, but really, it’s the responsible thing to do. I’d rather plan for it than have a naked sad doll to feel bad about. Some personal recommendations below helped me get started:
Wigs: Monique Gold Collection wigs are affordable in the 20 dollar range, and have incredibly soft fiber! (You can find a lot of these available through ebay sellers as well)
Eyes: Lemonjellyshoppe and CandyKittenEmporium have some incredible eyes and also do custom orders!
Sewing Patterns: DGRequim on etsy and SproutyDoll have both been very nice to use and easy understand and modify to fit your doll!
When you’re savvy on the sizing of your dolls and if you’re comfy with secondhand sales, Facebook groups like BJD Addicts Sales & Commissions, BJD Lovers Sales, and BJD Adoption has a lot of people selling BJDs and accessories, oftentimes discounted for de-stashing or collection overhauls!
In addition to the other dealer sites I linked before, Dollmore (which also has an ebay shop) has a lot of options on everything!
Rec@sts and the community- This is a veeery hot button topic, but you’ll probably see a lot of it the more you get into the hobby. I don’t want to talk about it a lot because of the negativity it attracts, but to sum it up: BJDs are essentially commissioned art pieces. They are hand sculpted by an artist or small group of artists, and then cast in resin and refined and strung by hand. There are people that will cast copies of them and sell them for a very cheap profit. To put it simply, it’s theft, and it effects the livelihood of people that make a living of their art. A lot of companies stop making dolls because they can’t compete anymore. Most official doll/art related conventions (LDoll, Resin Rose, etc) ban rec@sted dolls, as well as DoA and several of the facebook groups. Be sure to read all the rules of groups/forums you join them.
A lot of people come into this hobby unaware of this and buy a bootleg doll on sites like Ebay or Aliexpress, and then get turned away from the community without understanding why. There are understandable circumstances that cause someone to end up with a bootleg doll, but it’s also important to respect the artists and creators that share their art with the public.
On that note: Sometimes people will resell 2nd hand dolls as legit when they are not. Be careful about who you buy second-hand dolls from. Also, keeping certificates of authenticity (CoAs), receipts, and original packaging is must if you ever plan to resell your doll!
I... think that’s everything major I can think of... at least enough to get someone started? I know a lot of it is a bit vague, but if you wanted my opinion on a certain brand or size of doll or budgeting tips if money is tight, I’d be happy to give my personal preferences on that separately!! But otherwise, good luck and happy treasure hunting! ヾ(＾-＾)ノ
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Do you like Rhythm games? Do you like cutesy stuff from Japan? Do you like VOCALOID? Do you like bopping it to japanese music? Do you want to slap some drums to anime openings?
But, most importantly, YOU WANNA BECOME A DRUM MASTER?
This guide is for you! Whether you wanna be serious or just wanna jam it out, have a budget or not, or are just interested in my ramblings, this guide is FOR YOU!
Get ready donders, grab your bachis, and let’s become drum masters!
(If you enjoy this guide, please reblog it and share it with friends! It’s SUPER appreciated!)
(NOTE: If you’re on desktop, open the links in another tab, since my desktop theme messes up with links it seems, at least on firefox)
what IS Taiko no Tatsujin? What IS it? It’s a huge phenomenon in Japan. In short, a rhythm game created by NAMCO in 2001 in the form of an arcade machine featuring two huge japanese taiko drums. The game is ultra simple! Hit the notes, fill the Soul gauge, get maximum points!
(Source the page also has a lot of console games names if that interest u!)
Simple enough, right? Well, despite its cutesy look, this game is also notorious for having extremely difficult songs to play. Seems impossible right? But it’s possible to do this! With... a lot of practice of course! Don’t let these intimidate you! These guys didn’t become master Donders in one day!
The game was eventually ported to a loooot of consoles. And is still very popular to this date, as a new arcade and new games are still coming out in 2019!
This game is sadly very very unknown in the west. ONE attempt was made before 2018 to bring Taiko to the west, but we’ll talk about it later.
There are many ways to play! With a touch screen, with your controller, but with also what we call a TaTaCon (TAiko no TAtsujin COntroller), which is basically a small taiko drum with its own bachis! Often, these are released along with new home console installment! However they’re a bit expensive. But that’s ok! You can still be a drum master even without an actual drum or bachis!
“Why should I play this??”
Short answer: Why not?
Long answer: Because it’s a fun rhythm game with a lot of interesting songs, that can also be challenging to the most hardcore of rhythm game players! It’s also a fun way to experience your favorite video game, anime, vocaloid (and so on) songs! And just... because it’s fun??? It’s SO much fun. And this game deserves much more recognition. Its aesthetic, its cleverness, it’s cuteness. It’s an amazing game that gets overlooked often (and is honestly mostly known due to OSU but even then...)
So, let’s dive into the games! In the west, we have the possibility of getting 3 games without exporting anything!
TAIKO NO TATSUJIN: DRUM SESSION (PS4) (2018) - The considered superior version between the two available on modern consoles. With a lot of songs, features and DLCs, you’ll have a blast with this one! And you can also dress up your lil’ drum too! I’ve never played this one, but it’s the most popular version and most appreciated.
TAIKO NO TATSUJIN: DRUM ‘N’ FUN (Nintendo Switch) (2018) - This version of Taiko is very good for what it is! It’s a great game as an introduction to Taiko on consoles! I own it, and it’s loads of fun! Rather than dressing up your drum, you get to play as different characters from the franchise with different abilities to help (or hinder) your performance! It also has a bunch of minigames too! And it has good DLCs! And you can play as Miku if you buy the DLC :)
TAIKO: DRUM MASTER (PS2) (2004) - The black sheep amongst all Taiko games. NAMCO wanted to appeal to the american audience with this newfangled rhythm games. This was the era before Guitar Hero. Now, when you see taiko, you think “japan” right? It’s a very japanese game. Then NAMCO decided to slap very VERY western songs in it, appealing to absolutely nobody! Cursed game at best, but at least the franchise didnt get extra milked in the west because of this? And we have classic hits like... Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius’ intro and Toxic by Britney Spears in this game... Defo go with the most recent games.
As for all the other games on PS2, PSP, DS, WII, WII U etc... well tough luck, you’ll have to import them! Wooo..... BUT, if you dont have a budget, lemme slide in somethin for ya, and no it’s not emulators...
Taiko simulators, ah yes! Where Taiko’s western audience was found until 2018. These are popular with veterans to train, but these are also good alternatives for those who want to try out Taiko, but don’t want to spend any money, or can’t spend any money.
NOTE: I WILL NOT COVER OSU!TAIKO. I AS WELL AS SOME OTHER DONDERS DO NOT CONSIDER OSU!TAIKO A GOOD TAIKO SIMULATOR DUE TO MANY FLAWS. HOWEVER, YOU A FREE TO LOOK INTO OSU!TAIKO IF YOU’D LIKE. (It is probs the easiest to set up on desktop, but look into it if you want to)
Anyways, let’s go!
TAIKO WEB (TAIKO.BUI.PM) - PLATFORM: WEB BROWSER - COMPATIBILITY: MOBILE PHONES, DESKTOPS, TABLETS (As long as you have a good performing device and internet)
Taiko Web is a great place to start if you’d like to try out Taiko! It has an online 2 player mode, a bunch of great songs, and (usually) are mapped nicely! If you want a quick to whip out and play Taiko experience that gets updated regularly, check out Taiko Web!
HOWEVER, it comes with its flaws. As a serious Taiko simulator, it has its flaws. Some maps experiences desync with the song, there will be lag moments especially when entering Go-Go mode (and ESPECIALLY on mobile), and it has its bugs that can be reported to its github! Tho, it’s a really good place to start!
Link to access it is on the title of this subsection!
TJAPLAYER3 - PLATFORM: COMPUTERS - COMPATIBILITY: WINDOWS, MAC (???), LINUX (???)
TJAplayer3 is a simulator developped by AoiLight, and is, in my opinion, one of the best simulators out there. Since you can download the maps of the songs online, you have access to... pretty much all the songs in Taiko existance as long as you know its title in japanese (which can be easy to find if you know how to search for it). It’s fairly easy to install, and while it doesn’t come prebundled with any skin or any songs, the guide I linked provide everything you need to know or have! Including how to download the game and get it working, songs bundles and skins to make your experience better and how to find songs. Remember that most songs you’ll want to search are those that were present in past and current taiko games. I suggest you look at youtube videos of taiko plays/the taiko no tatsujin soundtrack to find more songs. But the packs included should do the trick for you still!
Link to download and instructions is linked on the title of the subsection
So, I hope that wasn’t overwhelming! And that it peaked your interest even just a bit! Got any comments? Feel free to comment down the post or send me an ask! Got any questions or concerns, feel free to send me an ask or, if you need any prologated help, send me a private message!
And please, if you enjoyed this guide, share it with friends, reblog it, and help get this game out there!
And if you want to find songs, stay up to date with the game, or even find song lyrics for your fave song in Taiko, do visit Taikotime! This blog has been running for almost 10 years now, and has everything you need to know about Taiko!
#txt#taiko no tatsujin#taiko#taiko drum master#taiko drum session#taiko drum n fun#taiko no tatsujin drum n fun#taiko no tatsujin drum session#scenecore#(cause it got some sceney aspect to it and its a scene blog)#japan#rhythm games#rhythm#rhythm game#guide#namc
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11 Questions Tag
so i was tagged thrice (!!!) by three lovely people, thank you so much!! i couldn’t decide which set of questions to do bc i didn’t want to leave any out so i did all three! thank you again for tagging me!
i’m putting my questions & tags right at the top so y’all don’t have to scroll through my 33 questions of rambling lmao
rules: answer the 11 questions from the person who tagged you and then make 11 more for the people you tag.
edit: i was tagged again, so i decided to come back and add on to this and i noticed tumblr didn’t actually tag anyone so yeah i fixed that now rip
here are my questions!
1. Book/movie/art piece that made you think the most and why?
2. What’s your favorite physical/personality feature of your bias(es)?
3. What colors and smells reminds you of home?
4. If you could only listen to 30 seconds of one song for your entire life, what song & time interval would it be?
5. Languages you'd like to learn?
6. What are three pieces of advice you’d give to 30-year-old you?
7. If you bumped into your bias on the street and you had no idea who they were, what would your first impression be and what would you do next?
8. Ultimate holiday itinerary?
9. You go to your bias group’s concert, and you’re one of the lucky fans invited on stage for a ~special performance~... what do you do?
10. What made you first notice your bias?
11. Do you have any bad habits?
tagging 11 people: @blushtones @sehunsface @whimsical-ness @yeoleow @fuck-me-up-fam @romantichen @xingmithefool @honeyjongdae @ineedyixing @dropsofletters @chanyoel
sorry if you’ve already been tagged / you don’t wanna be tagged!
@dragon-dust !! thank you love
What’s your favourite flower?
hmmm i’ve said this before but i do love pink lilies! i also love hydrangeas and orange blossoms and i think the skeleton flower is cool as heck (it’s a flower that turns crystal-clear when wet)
Sunrise or sunset?
i like sunrises bc it’s colder and there are always a lot of bugs around at sunset...not to mention it gets dark really quickly!
Favourite childhood piece of music?
mmm a lot bc we used to listen to a lot of music!! but anything by michael jackson or lucky ali is v nostalgic to me
Name a character from a book that you can’t forget.
i don’t have one from a books (rip i’ve never properly liked a book character) but the magician from the webtoon annarasumanara kind of stuck with me? i just felt so sad for him & he reminds me of what i don’t want to end up being
Pictures or gifs?
pictures!
Is there any really famous movie that you’ve not ever seen?
ohhhhh boy a lot! i don’t watch movies much and if i do the last thing i’d watch is romance/comedy/etc so i haven’t seen all those ‘classics’ like the notebook and legally blonde and so on... i’ve never seen high school musical either (or any of those disney channel shows)
Clean desk or a messy one?
it starts off clean and then it gets messy lmao
If you could start again and change only one thing, what would that be?
i would love myself more, and i would’ve made an effort to speak all my languages :(
Five things, one desert island for the rest of your life. What do you bring
(assuming i can’t bring exo) uhhh, because i’m practical: a good knife, large sheet of tarp, indefinite number of matches, clean clothes and something to hold water
Favourite way to spend your free time.
wasting it tbh... but i love having long chats w my friends
Would you rather be able to fly or walk through walls?
i’d fly bc walking through walls would be a lot more easier to get caught at...
@technicallymilkshakes !! (i love these questions!)
You’ve been friends with your bias for some time now and you’re pretty sure there’s some mutual attraction between the two of you. How does this attraction get resolved? Does someone confess (who)? Is it more physical? Do you agree to remain just friends? Or does it stay unresolved?
okay okay ASSUMING this ever happens ... i’d confess! i don’t like keeping things that could change my life. even if i wasn’t sure they liked me too. i’d go for a half-relationship/half-friend thing?? bc i hate proper relationships
Do you have a recurring daydream you like to revisit? What is it?
yep! plenty hahaha. i have one where Ambiguous Person and i are hiking through the woods, another where we’re trying to ballroom dance and then one where we’re forced to share a bed... you know the one... (SORRY i’m so soft when it comes to romance)
How did your bias become your bias?
ahhh okay at first my bias was jongin?? bc i usually like the dancers? and i was watching a lot of exo-k so i didn’t even know about jd but like... i watched a couple of lives and his voice just got me... and then of course all those ‘try not to fangirl’ challenges that sucked the life out of me
What’s one song from your bias group that can always make you happy?
i love love love replay! especially the live ver. where they all cried... i cry everytime i hear it too?? and the whole lucifer album also (surprise!! my bias group isn’t exo lmao)
Are you right-handed? Left-handed? Ambidextrous?
right-handed! i can write w my left hand but not for long periods of time
You call in to the radio show your bias is a guest on. It gets picked up and now you’re live on the air. What would you say to them?
i’d say (in my crappy korean) that i love them and i’m so happy i got to talk to them! and that i hope they’re happy and taking care of themselves
What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
i’ve only been to two :( both of them were incredible though! i saw yanni live & a classical concert by zubin mehta + the australian world orchestra and !!!! mesmerizing experiences! now if i could just see tsfh i’d die happy
What’s your favorite film genre and what are some movies you would recommend from it?
like i said i don’t like films much but,,, i do love space movies and historical settings! i can’t recall any besides interstellar which most people have probably watched
What do you think other people’s first impression of you is? What do you want it to be?
they probably think i’m kind of rude? ;;;;;;;; bc i’m super shy so i don’t talk much at all? also they probably think i’m homeless or something bc i’m always barefoot, my hair’s always messy and somehow i end up getting dust all over me RIP
Is there a book that you’ve given up on finishing? If so, why?
i’ve dnf’ed a loooot of books! most recently, a court of thorns and roses (s. j. maas) & caraval (stephanie garber) MAN i really hated those
You went to a fansign and your bias signed your album and drew a special note + a little doodle just for you. What does the note say and what’s the doodle? Do you show it off to everyone when you get home or do you tuck it in a safe spot and take it out once in a blue moon to reminisce alone?
ldkfns i’m imagining this and i’m SUFFERING but uhh i’d ask him to draw a cat lmao and write something that makes him happy! and the second one! i’m not a showy person so i’d definitely keep it somewhere safe and take it out when i want to remember :’)
@jds1andonly !!
If you could have any exo member as your twin, who would it be?
probably chanyeol bc i need some positivity! and he’d be really fun to talk to and do everything with
Imagine you have one day where you can eat anything you want: what would you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner?
assuming this also means no gastric troubles... i’d go to the most expensive vegan restaurants in the world and gorge myself (bc i’m still morally obligated)
What is something you want to do by the end of the year?
oh boy considering there’s only a month and a half left... finish my ongoing series, be done with all my school stuff and ready for my exams in january, and organize the trip i want to go on with my friends after graduation!
What is your dream job?
i wanna be a teacher or a professor! maybe go around the world and teach in poorer regions? i actually have this dream to start an organization for volunteer teaching in low-income areas around the world. after i retire, i want to run a cafe/library in a really secluded place.
What is your favorite part from exo’s unfair performances (any one of them)
oh my godddd they’re all so sickeningly sweet but i like the christmas one with the santa suits and jongdae’s part in the second verse where he goes ‘oooooh oooooh’ with the finger heart? it’s so cute i wanna die
What was your favorite TV show as a kid?
spongebob ndsfnsk obviously...
What is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard about your bias?
this one video someone tagged me in of jd wearing those periscope glasses and screaming??
What is your least favorite food and why?
i haaaaaaate curry leaves they make me nauseous :-/
What TV show have you been watching recently?
does masterchef australia count? i watch it obsessively!!
If you had a superpower like the exo members, what would you want yours to be?
hmm. hmmmmm very good question. probably telekinesis bc it’s really cool and i can move stuff from across the room without having to get up
If you could be in any kpop group, which would it be and why?
just for the concepts? id say exo or vixx for the music but i wouldn’t really fit in lmfao so like maybe snsd or EXID
okay this was super long i’m sorry but i had fun!!! thank you guys for tagging me again!!!
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Every odd question fir Sangriel!!!
boyhowdy text wall ahoy. i didnt bother editing this or reading over it so oops theres gonna be mistakes. answers below the cut 0:
1) Sangriel Amato Heartspell. His name doesn't mean much of anything, besides Amato meaning beloved in Italian. San's surname was originally Keldaris (of Loretta Keldaris, wife of Gia Realdor, who took on her surname) until he changed it after his family's. problematic escapades.
3) He had a pretty fucking nice childhood. He grew up well off, took all sorts of classes and extracuriculars, all that shit. San's actually a skilled ballerino and is quite fond of dance as a whole. One of his fondest memories is his mother helping him with stage makeup for the first time. San's worst memory is the loss of his grandparents during the attack on Silvermoon.
5) Sangriel has no siblings but many, many, MANY, cousins. So fucking many. He grew up with all of them, so to him they may as well be brothers and sisters. All of them got along very well and though he doesn't talk to many of them anymore, they're all still on good terms (as far as he knows).
7) He and Mesdrea are childhood friends!! After the attack on Silvermoon, her family moved south towards Southshore, and his family remained in Eversong. He had no idea whether or not she or her family had survived until he leaves home and decides to travel to learn more about the arcane. Mesdrea was part of the Syndicate at the time and he joined her there. When the organization started going off the deep end, the two bailed out and returned to Silvermoon together.
9) He is not fond of animals, so of course they read that and immediately pile onto him. Sangriel isnt particularly good at caring for pets which is the real reason why he isnt fond of them. He'd honestly love to have a fish if he didnt think he'd accidentally starve it to death.
11) No diet requirements! This terrible boy is a walking garbage disposal.
13) He hates cabbage and cauliflower in all forms. terrible. bad foods.
15) San got his father's skills for cooking, which is to say he's..... not the best. He isn't terrible though! He's got a handful of dishes he can cook very well! Just dont expect him to cook dinner all the time and have it be completely edible.
17) Oh fuck yes. Selfies, pictures of dumb things he finds, loooots of pictures of bodies of water esp waterfalls. Half the time he doesnt share them he just likes hoarding the photos to look at alone later. San's not shy or embarrassed by them he just doesn't wanna share.
19) San hates existential "We are stardust and eternal" sorts of things. He feels that most of the time they are disingenuous strings of words pulled out of the asses of people who think they're holier than thou. also theyre boring.
21) He doesn't necessarily have a temper that is constant but he's very easily riled up. When he's angery he's more likely to lash out with words and snide remarks than anything physical, especially if he knows something particularly damning about the person in question. It takes a lot to get him to that point though. He'll bitch and whine and yell loooong before that.
23) San likes firm mattresses, and would sleep on the floor if mesdrea didnt insist on him having something between him and the hardwood. He doesn't snore, but is drawn to heat sources aka anyone with the misfortune of sharing a bed with him, and clings to them desperately. He sleeps with Only One Pillow, and mesdrea thinks there's something wrong with him for it.
25) He doesn't think he's terribly funny, though Mesdrea loves his sarcastic sense of humor (san thinks she's biased bc they're friends). Sangriel loves witty humor, and though he won't admit it, will absolutely laugh at a properly timed and/or worded crude joke.
27) San frequently has moods where he feels as if he's accomplished nothing with his life (you're still so young, his mother always says!) and it throws him into a funk for a couple days at a time. He'll cry somewhere towards the end of it after everything's sort of come to a head, and he does very little to hide it. Normally he'll end up snapping at the smallest things, like not being able to open a package or dropping something on the floor. At that point he kind of just spends the day sobbing on and off until it's out of his system. He's a little dramatic but its still genuine sadness :(
29) If any teasing is done it's minimal. Normally San won't do either, but he leans towards being more protective if the person in question is someone he's fond of. Teasing would consist of a tasteful joke at most when he first finds out, and nothing more. It's mostly to try and get the person to smile, though he knows it won't always work.
31) San absolutely drinks, and is actually terrible at holding his liquor. He gets drunk fast then crashes and burns not long after. He's actually a fairly fun drunk, and loses the insecurities he has that makes him quick to snap and anger when sober. San's a miserable person hungover and tends to spend that time hiding under blankets and pillows alone. He won't admit it but he mother hens those around him that are drunk or hungover while he's sober, though he's not above intentionally making loud noise when Mesdrea is hungover bc she does the same to him.
33) It depends on what he's wearing. Lounging around or going out it might be boxerbriefs. Some stupid tight pants?? probably some small bikini/thong thing?? of course he wears lacy shit on special occassions though. Of Course. Who do you think We Are.
35) Guilty pleasure is thrifting, esp for clothing he can alter. A totally not-guilty pleasure is sitting on the balcony of drea's flat with a bottle of wine and tossing tiny bits of food out to the birds. he keeps score of how many pieces of food end up in someone's hair/hat too. he has to.
37) San is actually an avid reader, mostly of non-fiction and esp arcane theory. If he reads anything fictional it's science fiction. Asshole looks dumb as fuck but he's well read.
39) He loveslovesloves sending letters and messages to people. Mesdrea was the only person he spoke to for a long time at one point and it was only through letters. It's special to him idk
41) San's solidly Gay. Really Really Gay. He just finds?? Lots of things attractive and in no specific way/shape/form. San would say he doesn't have a type and he's right. He's pretty bad with relationships though. The intimacy that's involved kinda...bugs him.. and it mostly has to do with his own insecurities and self-worth. Maybe if he found someone that helps with that he'd? be in a relationship? But for now he's 100% fine with flings. They make him happy.
43) He's not very religious. The light's cool and all. Naaru look neat. The moon is rad so Elune is too, he supposes. An'she is chill. It's just stuff he doesnt want to concern himself with.
45) People that don't know him see him as an overdramatic, flashy, pompous asshole and they're not wrong! He absolutely is, but that's all they see. People who have been robbed by him see a strange thief that somehow used magic to steal in broad daylight. Mesdrea sees him as someone who is actually a very loving person that is particularly good at making masks to hide who he actually is and how he actually feels. San tries very hard to see himself as someone who is good and worthy of, well, good in return. But most of the time he only sees what's wrong with himself and the things he's done and then ignores all the good, so over time he created the grand facade of this amazing illusionist thief that regrets nothing and cares for nobody and looks Fabulous™ doing it.
47) San has a love/hate relationship with formal settings. He loves the pomp and circumstance of it all, the dressing up, all the fake bullshit and the backstabbing. He hates that his family isn't able to enjoy the things they used to, though, and that's because their father had them basically ostracised out of their social circles and then gambled all their wealth away :\\\ So he loves them, but hates that he can't share that fun with his family, so he doesn't attend anything formal.
49) The copper ring his mother gave him is most prized possession. She gave it to him on his 20th birthday. The runes on it are a small blessing, Light's Strenth. He'd been planning on running off without a word, but his mom is pretty in tune with his antics and she stopped him as he was leaving to give him the ring. His mother's fairly religious so the ring means a lot to her, and while Sangriel is not, the ring is still incredibly important. When he knows he can't safely wear it on his hand, he keeps it on a copper chain.
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My Spirituality
So I consider myself to be a very open-minded person when it comes to spirituality. I didn’t always used to be because I grew up christian. And as a result, I was taught to believe in that religion absolutley 100% with no grey areas in between.
But of course as a person grows older, they start to question things and branch off into other ways of thinking and morals. For example, I used to be very against gay marriage because I was ignorant, and only knew the bible said it was wrong. But as my knowledge matured about the world and my own faith, I realized how out-dated that way of thinking was. My personal experiences and relationship with God, gave me an abundance of love and wisdom about life. And I had to decipher within my self what to believe, versus what other PEOPLE told me to believe. Along with of course, the many inconsistencies within the text of the bible itself, whole big conundrum i wont get into. It was a tremendous struggle because i always just trusted what other people, especially my parents, told me was right or wrong and that was it. So instead of just going along with a written text, i focused more on what felt right with me and my own heart. And let me tell you it feels so much better.
So i still do consider myself a christian today. But theres some magical, controversial bits in between that I’m about to shed light on now.
I have a big interest in the supernatural. Like, not just with the knowledge about angels and demons, but things from the common mythical creatures to straight up chakra and psychic and witchy aspects of it. Magic basically.
I have always, from the ripe young age of an elementary schooler, been curious about witchcraft and things associated. The only reason i was introduced to it at such a young age was because I had a friend way back then who was apparently a witch. All I remember was her having this book on witchcraft and wanting to do some spells with me. And i was like “oh that sounds cool!” But somewhere in the mix the parents found out and i pretty much wasnt able to hang around her much anymore. And that was the end of that until a bit later.
I wanna say I started learning more about that magical stuff again in highschool. I would end up watching supernatural shows on youtube or researching stuff about tarot cards and crystals etc and I was just so drawn to it. And I again, came into contact with a friend who practiced all that cool stuff and he opened me back up to it with his own tarot which he actually let me borrow at one point. And oh boy was I excited. This stuff...was crazy. It felt like my soul was just passionate with this curious fire. Now there was also this side of me who felt like i was doing something bad because of what I was raised to believe. Basically, if it aint of God, its of the devil. And the devil was gonna try and suck me into this evil stuff. And although i had this excitement, I had a feeling, as I kept working with the cards over and over, that they were telling me to stay away from them. The cards were telling me. Or whatever divine influence around me was. I mean, my parents found out about them eventually and of course gave me the whole “its demonic” schpeal. But i got my own warning signs i started to notice. And this will probably sound really crazy. But honestly....all this stuff is crazy. But still happened mind you.
See, the tarot cards consist of what is called Major Arcana, which is your well known cards like “The Devil, The Wheel of Fortune, High Priestess” titles like that. And the Minor Arcana, which contain the suits, “Swords, wands, pentacles, cups” listed Ace through King with numbers of course in between.
I kept drawing, The Devil. I kept drawing cards with the number 6 on it. So Immedietley I had the thought of, “Okay. Something is telling me I shouldnt be using these.” So I eventually gave them back to the friend and didnt mess with them again until much later. But of course my curiousity didnt end there.
Bitch please.
To speed things along, I ended up buying and destroying a couple of decks until I finally reached a spiritual point where I understood the responsibility that was needed to use them. Through those years I spent a loooot of time researching about witch craft, wicca, paganism and all the metaphysical and divination practices of the like. I researched about what the bible said about them and also the concrete history of witchery and the differences of the different terms associated with them. And then I discovered.....holy shit. This shit isn’t this big bad evil that everyone makes it out to be. It’s actually.....very beautiful and artistic and expressive. And I think the mystery and aesthetic and magical aspects of those things is what really drew me in in the first place.
Now don’t get me wrong, magic can MOST CERTAINLY be used for evil. It can most certainly hurt you and others whether you believe in it or not. And I think that’s why my spiritual guides, or whatever was happening back then, steered me away from it. Because I wasn’t mature enough to know how to use those tools safely and without getting carried away. Because now i have absolutley no problem using these tools for guidance. Cause I dont abuse them.
Because these beautiful practices resonated so much with me, i started to want to incorporate them more in my life in now a more respectful and wise manner. And it was really, enriching for my soul and my view on life. It brought me so much happiness and appreciation for the mystery life has. And I’ve been able to find a comfortable balance with my beliefs. And here is where I’m at today.
I am still a believer in the christian God. But I also enjoy incorporating symbolic and ritualistic crafts from the magical culture into my worship. So in other words, i could put myself in the category into an eclectic witch. Eclectic Witches create their own personal practices and belief or religious systems by re-creating or borrowing knowledge and practices from other beliefs, practices, etc.
So they basically see something they like about another’s belief or practice and say “oh i like that, that feels right with me, im going to incorporate that into my spirituality as well.” Which is what im doing. lol
Theres a LOT that needs explaining with that because it is so easy for people to get confused and assume things which is why this topic is so difficult to talk about because it goes back into all that history and research.
I had to make a whole educational documentation for my parents so they could understand why i like these things, why they arent as evil as they believe and so on. It is very frustrating when you feel like you need to justify yourself to others about what you believe. And i think my experience with spirituality has really opened me up to other’s beliefs and being a whole lot more less judgmental and more accepting and loving of people in general.
So in essence, all I’m doing, is a new form of ritual. When I use my cards, i am specific to say I only wish for the guidance from God and his Angels. And everything that he wishes me to know, will be by his will only with no interference of another force or entity. I always make sure to protect myself from the negative energies. I rarely do spells nowadays, but when I do, it is only of a means of feeling like I am doing more than just....talking about it. It makes me feel a little more in control and I again, make sure my intentions are clear with what energies I am working with and I mean no disrespect to God in the works I do and it is only for creative expression and ritual dedicated to him and no one else. And that feels right with me.
I didn’t go into much, but crystal healing is another thing I love, although I dont believe in 100% because I’m just always keeping an open mind and completley understand a skeptic’s point of view. But nonetheless I have had my own share of positive experiences with it and do still enjoy working with them from time to time. That’s about all I’ll go into.
And just for your convenience, I will actually link the documents of some of the basic research and explanation on my practices and beliefs in the description if youre curious. The actual couple of fun pages I gave to my parents so hopefully i dont have to explain myself further. lol I would love to touch up on some more spiritual/paranormal stuff at later dates. Have a beautiful day.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cB0avtCEEyoA_-CZKh5OWCz56qXVqoSJu6MLsZtAYIo/edit
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Procrastination
Doing the 2 months assignment during the last night before deadline? Exams time makes you learn more random internet facts than the material you actually have to learn? Suffering from lack of sleep because of all that? Tired asking yourself why you keep doing it? Then you probably have the disease of delaying important things -procrastination - one of the most widespread diseases these days. And guess what? This article, based on purely scientific research, is telling you everything you need to know about the disease and ways to cure it. Say goodbye to procrastination forever!
To start with, Is procrastination contagious? Yes, it is. One of the ways to get it is a fun time with a procrastinator. The virus can easily transfer from one human to another through the pleasure of communication with the infected person. For example, if you talk to me when I need to get some paperwork done - I'm the most fun person ever, and I'm more than happy to share this pure joy of not getting shit done with you.
Another way to get infected is simply through the information. For example, knowing the fact that your classmate hasn't started writing that thesis yet (even though the deadline is in three days) might cause you some procrastination symptoms, like watching cute dinosaur videos instead of doing the work.
But are some people born with this disease? Why do some people procrastinate all the time? There is a logical scientific explanation for that.
Some of us are born with a happy monkey on the back of their minds. Whenever a born procrastinator has stuff to do and realizes he/she has time for it, the happy monkey claps its hands and changes the time perception in the person's head. The human starts feeling that he or she has loooots of time, or maybe even looooooooooooots of time to do the necessary thing. Next, the happy monkey starts jumping and dancing around the mind and persuading you that doing the other things are way more important. This is when the magic begins, and you start reading an article explaining why elephants have such big ears, and then you wanna see top 10 of the animals with the biggest ears, then you are wondering if all animals have mouths, and finally you're making a huge research on why Hello Kitty has no mouth. Why? Just because the happy monkey is telling you it is all extremely useful, and if you don't find out this information now, you might die.
This is the only true reason why some people are always late, too - the monkeys in their heads are celebrating, making humans think they have plenty of time. So if your friends are mad at you always being late - tell them to be mad at the monkey in your head. They'll understand for sure.
Why isn't the monkey active all the time? Well it is only awake when a procrastinator wants to get something done, and when you check the time and panic, your self-preservation sense shuts the monkey down.
Is the monkey transferred with the virus? No. This is why some people cure their procrastination easily, while it is much more difficult to get rid of it for those who always have the happy monkey in their head.
Is it still possible to cure chronic procrastination and calm the happy monkey down forever? Definitely, however, it takes time and everyday treatment. The best medicine for any type of procrastination is your willpower, but of course you have to get more of it for treating the chronic one. Yes, I know, it is expensive and costs you a lot of stress, the side effect can be even a nervous breakdown, especially if you overdose during the initial time period of taking it. However, it's worth it. Use willpower for a year everytime before you need to do something you consider you have to do. Remember, everytime. If you skip even once, your happy monkey will be awake again. After a year of constant treatment your body will automatically release the willpower absolutely for free. Moreover, you will be much happier and more awake with your little happy monkey asleep.
You can do this!
Best of luck,
From a Procrastinator to a Procrastinator
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