#there are risks but they Must know the answer. this could be a very important discovery!!

[zvaigzdelasas]

Iran is now a “legitimate target” for Israeli missile strikes, one of the country’s most senior ministers has told the Telegraph, raising the prospect of an all-out war with Tehran.

In a wide-ranging interview, Nir Barkat, Israel’s economy minister, also said Palestinians from the West Bank would never be allowed to work in the country again and would be replaced by more than a quarter of a million imported foreign workers.

He also complained that the war in Gaza had not been fought aggressively enough.

Mr Barkat, who is favourite to succeed Benjamin Netanyahu as leader of the ruling Likud party, said Israel could afford to keep fighting and open up a new front with Lebanon, despite the billion shekel (£200 million) a day cost of the conflict.

He said that as “big as the crisis is, it is also a really big opportunity”, with governments around the world needing Israel’s technical expertise to combat global jihadism.[...]

The risk of the war spreading to Lebanon and as far as Iran will alarm Western leaders, with Mr Barkat becoming increasingly influential in the ruling party.

Polls suggest the economy minister would win five more seats than Mr Netanyahu if he replaced him as Likud’s leader.

Mr Barkat, 64, said: “Iran is a legitimate target for Israel. They will not get away with it. The head of the snake is Tehran. My recommendation is to adopt the strategy that President Kennedy used in the Cuban missile crisis. What he basically said then was a missile from Cuba will be answered with a missile to Moscow.[...]

Israel is edging towards a full-blown war with Hezbollah in southern Lebanon, having evacuated the north of the country. Mr Barkat said a second war was affordable while “the threat of Hezbollah must be eliminated”.

“Whatever it takes,” he said[...]

The economy is expected to grow by two per cent this year, down from five per cent forecast prior to the war.[...]

As the country lurches to the Right in the aftermath of October 7 and with Mr Netanyahu’s personal ratings plummeting, Mr Barkat appears to be making a play to replace the prime minister as party leader.[...]

Mr Barkat rejected any suggestion that Palestinian labourers, who previously came into Israel daily to work in the construction and other industries, would be allowed to return. Daily crossings for labourers into Israel from the West Bank have been on hold since October 7.

He likened the Palestinian Authority running the West Bank to the Hamas leadership in Gaza.

“You know what the difference is? Nothing,” said Mr Barkat. [...]

Israel has long been reliant on workers coming into the country from Gaza and the West Bank, but Mr Barkat, whose ministry is responsible for the construction industry, said: “We are done with Palestinian employees. The rationale behind it is very simple: we only want foreign employees from peaceful countries. We don’t want employees from enemies.[...]

India is the likeliest target for a recruitment drive with the promise of wages seven to ten times higher than at home. “Everybody wins,” said Mr Barkat.

“If you don’t do what I proposed, it’s as if we didn’t learn the lessons of October 7.”[...]

On the conduct of the war in Gaza and in the face of international condemnation of Israel’s tactics, Mr Barkat said: “Israel is being very cautious[...]

The reality is at certain points in time I prefer a much more aggressive approach.”[...]

["]This is a religious war.” [he said]

24 Jan 24

[nyrasproblm]

Eu não sou o único - 02

Leto Atreides x reader, Paul Atreides x reader (platonic), Jessica Atreides x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1,7K

Warnings: angst, age gap (reader is 20s, leto is 40s), arranged marriage, rejection, loneliness, screaming.

series masterlist | next chapter

The week before leaving for Arrakis dragged by slowly, you barely left your room. Today, the weather was more pleasant and you decided to leave your room to take a walk outside the Palace. You had already seen almost all the bibliofilms available to you, learned a little about Arrakis, about their spice and about the Fremen.

Sighing, you left the room and decided to guide yourself through the corridors, in order to spend as much time as possible outside your room. However, as you turned into a hallway you bumped into someone and fell. Before getting up, you looked up and saw an elderly man, chubby, with dark skin and completely gray curly hair.

— Oh! A thousand pardons, young duchess, a thousand pardons. — he held out his hand and you graciously accepted it, standing up.

— I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, sir… — you waited for him to introduce himself.

— Thufir Hawat, milady, master of assassins and head of security for House Atreides. — he extended his hand and you placed yours over his, seeing him take your hand and touch his forehead, as a sign of respect.

— It is a great pleasure to meet you, Thufir Hawat, although under these circumstances, I apologize again. — you opened a small smile.

— Where was the young duchess going in such a hurry, if I may ask?

— Oh, I just wanted to get out of my room for a bit...

Thufir Hawat gave you a tender smile and nodded, extending his arm for you to take.

— Can I accompany you on your walk, your grace? - he asked.

Graciously accepting his arm, you walked at a leisurely pace through the castle until you reached the outside, where you sat on a stone bench facing the sea.

— Thufir Hawat, may I ask you a question?

— I will answer everything you ask me, milady. — he replied, turning his face towards you.

— You're a Mentat, right? — you swallowed hard.

— Yes, my lady, I was bestowed with this gift after years of training. — he replied politely.

— Must be good. — you replied absently, looking at the sea.

You and Thufir stayed for a while longer until he had to leave to fulfill his duty to House Atreides.

You spent the rest of the day in your room.

You met Thufir Hawat on the other days too, but you didn't want to disturb him as he was very busy, but he came to you one day and invited you to walk along the coast again.

You talked a lot and it was good to have a friend at the Palace, since the maids barely looked at you, Lady Jessica was nowhere to be found, Paul preferred to be training, and your husband... anyway.

Encouraged by the way Thufir Hawat seemed to be a good friend, you took a deep breath and started to speak, turning to him.

— Thufir Hawat, if I say something, will you promise to keep it a secret?

The old gentleman turned to you, his sparse eyebrows rising slightly.

— If it is something that puts House Atreides at risk, I must inform the Duke, my lady. But if it's something that isn't dangerous, then I'll keep your secret. — he replied calmly.

— No, it won't put anyone at risk, it's one thing... you know, Thufir Hawat, all my life everything I do never matters, I want to do something important at least once.

— What are you trying to say, young duchess?

— I learn quickly, I know how to pilot some ships, I know how to speak some of the ancient languages, and I know hand combat. — you took a deep breath. — Thufir Hawat, if you could train me... to be a Mentat, I would never do anything to harm anyone, I just want to be of some value-

— Duchess, I'm afraid that's not possible-

— Please, I know how to calculate and solve some things, I just want-

— Young lady, pay attention. — he turned and held his arms, seeing that up close his eyes were about to leak. — You don't need any of these things to have value, we all have value, remember that. You are an honorable lady, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, understand?

— I want to prove it to myself. — the first tear fell. — My whole life they talk about me as if I were just a bargaining chip, I want to convince myself that I am more than that, please, master Thufir, please.

The old man sighed and rubbed your arms a little, looking at the grass.

— You know what that implies, right? Mentat are not prohibited from training, but it is dangerous due to politics, if I train you and you do something against this House, then we will both die, can you understand that, milady?

— I would never do that, I swore allegiance to House Atreides and I will be loyal until my death, it is my House now.

Thufir Hawat sighed and gave a small smile.

— Alright then, but let's be cautious, shall we?

There were only two days left before leaving for Arrakis, and in those two days Thufir Hawat gave you some old leather books, and when possible he would meet with you quickly to teach you before returning to his own duties.

On the last night before leaving for Arrakis, your room was almost empty, you were reading one of Thufir's latest books when a maid informed you that the Duke wanted to have dinner with you.

The maids helped you get dressed and you calmly walked to the dining room, even though you were confused about the sudden invitation. Upon entering, you frowned when you only saw the Duke there.

— My lord duke. — you bowed your head slightly and sat on the opposite side of him.

He just nodded and dinner was served, the two began to eat in silence, again the noise of cutlery filling the place.

You were distracted by the embroidery pattern on the napkin in front of you and only paid attention again when you heard the Duke's deep voice.

— I hear you've been spending a lot of time with my head of security. — he said while cutting the meat with a knife.

You looked at him and blinked in confusion a few times.

— Ah, Thufir Hawat, yes, he is very kind, sir. — you drank water.

— I hope you understand that Master Thufir has duties and cannot waste time like you. — he replied, looking at you.

You felt butterflies in your stomach and looked away, swallowing hard.

— Yes, your grace is right, I will no longer bother Master Thufir.

The rest of the dinner passed in silence and when they finished, the Duke left and you waited a few minutes before you could leave too, going straight to your room.

The arrival on Arrakis was the other day, Leto was wearing gray armor, Jessica was wearing a yellow silk dress with a veil of the same color and stones on her face, Paul was wearing formal attire and you were wearing a silk dress, but red, similar to Jessica's, she chose it. You wore stones on your bust and sleeves, like her, but without a veil or stones on your face.

Everyone was watching the ramp of the large ship descend, and during that, you saw Jessica stop next to Leto and put her hand on his, which he held and squeezed. You looked away and stayed a few steps behind with your maids.

Paul noticed your uneasiness and held out his arm for you to hold and you held it with a minimal smile on your face. The Duke turned his face to look at his son and saw the scene, but he showed no emotion.

When they started to leave, you and Paul were behind Leto and Jessica, when they arrived halfway you saw Thufir waiting for everyone. Paul let go of you and ran away.

— Thufir Hawat! — he exclaimed happily and hugged the old man.

— Young master, I'm glad the trip was safe. — he said, returning the hug and turning to the others. — My lord duke, my lady Jessica.

He furrowed his eyebrows when he saw you practically hidden, far behind where you should be. He took a few steps to the left so he could see you better.

— My young Duchess Atreides. — he said with a tender smile that you returned.

Everyone walked towards the ornithopters, but you were guided to go with Leto, Paul and Jessica went in another with Thufir Hawat. As you entered and settled in, you saw that Gurney was also there, he was the master at arms of House Atreides.

Leto sat in the seat next to yours and Gurney sat in front. The ornithopter started to take off, soon you could see some people, the same ones who were shouting things to Paul. Turning your face to Gurney you ask:

— What were they shouting to Paul?

— Lisan Al-Gaib. Is what the Fremen consider to be a messiah. — your husband responded from beside her, before Gurney could say anything.

You just mumbled something in response and fell silent. That was none of your business, you didn't like to meddle in matters, but you knew that this was the work of the Bene Gesserit.

The rest of the flight was silent and the ornithopter landed at the new Atreides Palace. Leto got out first and you were surprised when he held out his hand to help you down.

Leto and Gurney started talking about Arrakis and you stayed close to them as they walked in, Gurney left to talk to someone and Leto turned to you.

— It's a beautiful dress.

You swallowed and nodded.

— Indeed.

A maid came and said that Thufir was calling you. You followed her and soon you were in a large room, Thufir waiting for you there, the maid leave.

— Milady, I must inform you that Lady Jessica has chosen a governess. — you blinked at him in confusion. —The duchess must choose a governess, no?

— Lady Jessica is used to this, I presume, she had better do it.

#x reader #duke leto atreides #duke leto #leto atreides #fem reader #paul atreides #jessica atreides

[berryunho]

THE ANSWER: XXVII

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 8,561

You take in San’s words, blinking aggressively. You pull your face away from his, your questions clear from your expression.

San squeezes his eyes shut, unable to look at you for too long. “I can’t explain it now. Or, well, I’ll explain it all soon, but we need to leave.”

“Leave? Like, the farm?” You question, your words coming faster than you can control them. “What? San? Did something happen?” 

He opens his eyes, then, staring into yours. The pain is evident in his face, his internal struggle still battling. 

“After today, I can’t predict what Hongjoong will do to get you to break.” San admits, tears welling in his eyes. “He’s going to hurt you, and if he can’t, he’ll kill you.” 

“What happened to you, San?” You ask, more concerned by his disheveled appearance than by the revelation of the thoughts that you’ve had hundreds of times. 

He shakes his head. “It’s not important, I promise. I’m fine.” He pauses, sucking in a breath. “How do you feel?” 

“I’m fine, San, just shaken up, I guess. Do you know how Hongjoong did that?” 

His hands squeeze your forearms tighter, gripping you like he’s going to lose you. “I have no idea. But if he’s willing to go this far, I… fuck, I can’t believe it. I have to get you away from this.” 

You can only gape at him. You can’t believe that San is saying these things to you. San had always been so loyal to Hongjoong, even leading up to the very moments before the ceremony. What could possibly have made him flip his entire script so quickly? 

It’s almost touching to realize how much San must care for you. If he’s willing to abandon this for you… Fuck. 

“San, when can we go?” You try to not sound so eager, but the prospect of getting away is so sweet. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead before replying. “I have to think on it, but I swear that it will be soon. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to figure it out.” 

You want to ask what it is that he’s figured out or what made him realize, but that sits in the backseat compared to the thought that suddenly rises to the forefront of your mind. “What about Haseul? And Mingi?” 

San freezes, still searching your face. He opens and closes his mouth a couple times, but no words come out. 

“San?” 

“I,” he pauses, biting his lip, “I’ll have to think about it more. We might have to come back for them.” 

You don’t like that idea, but you had thought it yourself a few times before. It would be a lot easier to get yourself out and come back with people that could actually stand a chance against this group rather than try and sneak out with someone else, risking all of your lives in the process. 

“Just trust me, yeah?” He smiles, letting go of your arms to readjust his shirt. 

You nod, throwing the blanket off of your legs. This is as good of a time as any to get out of the infirmary. Whatever had been going on with San, they must not care too much if you’re back with him considering the fact that he’s here now. 

Once San is reassembled, he offers you his hand again, helping you stand as you swing your legs off the bed. The two of you leave the room, passing by Nayeon as you walk down the hallway. She waves, smiling while you go. 

San drops your hand once you’re outside, but keeps one on the small of your back. He could reasonably pass that off as just helping you stay upright. 

By now, it’s mid-morning, almost 11. The sun is high and the fields— 

For the first time since you had arrived at the farm, you saw the farm equipment actually being put to use. A huge combine harvester moves through the field, still relatively close to the barn. You’re awestruck to actually see work being done, amazed that the time has passed so quickly. 

You halt in your tracks, lifting a hand up to shield your eyes from the sun so that you can watch the machine move. It doesn’t move particularly fast, but, by God, is it freaky looking. You wouldn’t want that thing coming to run you down, that’s for sure.

Which only reminds you of the time that you had tried to escape. And then resorted to hiding in the corn. 

When all of the corn is harvested, how will this place look? Barren. Cold. You don’t want to picture it; all that land with nowhere to hide. Will you even have to see it? Maybe you’ll be gone by then. 

A waving figure catches your eye off in the distance. You’re easily able to identify Yeosang once you look fully at him, and you raise your hand back in greeting, having to squint your eyes against the sun. 

San doesn’t wave back, instead ushering you to turn back toward the compound and keep moving. 

“Are we in a rush?” You ask, allowing him to steer you toward the door. 

San glances around, “I wouldn’t say that. But I’d feel better if we were alone in our apartment.” 

Well, okay, you guess. You would think that it would be a bit suspicious if you both suddenly started acting differently, but it’ll probably be okay for right now. At least until you can talk to San about everything. 

You head inside, trying to walk to the stairs. But you’re stopped before either of you can make the first step, a voice calling your name behind you.

It’s Wooyoung, you realize, before you even turn around to face him. 

“Aren’t you going to eat anything?” 

You glare across the foyer at him, wondering what kind of nerve this kid must have to be talking to you like you’re best friends again. 

He has a point, though. You turn your attention to your stomach, but you’re not surprised that the general sense of nausea and unease still lingers there; nothing like hunger. “I’m not hungry.” 

You know better than to directly accuse him of drugging you again. You really don’t know if he did… it’s possible that he didn’t. But, really, looking back on it… Ugh, you’ll just ask San later. He had already told you what he thought, but… you don’t know. Just, whatever. 

Wooyoung squints, a flat expression on his face. “Are you feeling alright after everything? Not just anyone can say they stood down a Guardian.” 

That’s really rich, coming from Wooyoung, you have to admit. The guy that basically told you that you need to accept your role in this place because he isn’t happy with his, either. Maybe he’s trying to sympathize with you, as a fellow skeptic. You won’t take the “compliment” at face value, but you still don’t appreciate the remark. 

“I’m perfectly fine,” you shrug, hoping to end the conversation there. 

He doesn’t look convinced. “I’ll have someone run some food up for you guys.” 

San thanks him for you, clearly ending the conversation there. He ushers the both of you up the stairs and to your apartment, swiftly locking the door behind you once you’re inside. 

You look around your apartment, almost expecting something to have changed, but nothing has. Everything is just how you left it this morning, not a single thing out of order. 

“Are we talking about this now, then?” You question, looking to San as he paces in front of the couch. He doesn’t stop pacing, but he does gesture for you to sit down, “you’re really worrying me, San.” 

He halts in place then, frowning, but not sitting next to you. “I’m sorry, it’s just…” he lets his sentence hang in the air, “I can’t believe… I can’t believe it.” 

“What happened to you while I was out?” You want to reach out and grab his hand, but you can’t, he’s moving too much. 

San starts pacing again, “well, first of all, sorry for disappearing on your right before the ceremony.” You nod, encouraging him to continue. “Seonghwa appeared out of nowhere and pulled me aside to talk about literally nothing and then, by the time I realized what was happening, the ceremony had started and I couldn’t have helped you.” 

He freezes, as if recalling the memory, “and then the ceremony happened. And, and that thing appeared. I hope to God that Hongjoong or Seonghwa or someone was able to explain that to you, because I can’t. I don’t know what that was, I’ve never seen anything like it or heard of Hongjoong—” he stops abruptly. “I mean that I don’t know how that happened. And I saw it grab you and I seriously, I thought that it was now, that, that Hongjoong had enough of you and— I thought you were going to die.” 

It’s only now that his voice falters, breaking with his last sentence. You’re no stranger to San’s emotions, but his tears always have an effect on you. To his credit, he does a good job of keeping it mostly together as he keeps speaking. 

“But then it was over, and you were on the ground, and I tried to stand up to go to you, but Seonghwa held me down, and I couldn’t do anything. I felt so helpless watching Hongjoong pick you up, watching Mingi run to his side to take you off of his hands and carry you out. I tried to get up again, but Seonghwa wouldn’t let me go. I almost fucking hit him.” He shakes at the memory, his voice thick with both anger and his tears. “We stayed there for a long time. We just waited until Hongjoong came back, and he sure fucking came back. He was incensed. Didn’t even say why. Even Seonghwa looked nervous as he screamed and bitched and threw shit around.” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

“You will not take her from me!” Hongjoong screams, at neither man in particular. “I don’t care which one of you it is; I forbade it for a reason and I will be fucking respected!” 

Seonghwa doesn’t move an inch at San’s side. San doesn’t say anything, either.

Hongjoong’s rage permeates the chapel. “Why isn’t she scared? Why isn’t she terrified, whimpering and begging for her life at my feet?” He starts pacing up and down the aisle, kicking copies of The Answer that he had thrown to the ground. “Doesn’t she realize that I am the only thing standing between her and a cold grave?” He whirls to face the other two men. “Answer me!”

“I think she is scared of you,” San mutters, “but she’s good at hiding it in front of you.” 

Hongjoong’s face contorts into a smile, and San knows that he’s fucked up. “Is that it? How do you know, San? Do you hold her at night while she cries in your arms at my cruelty?” 

San only blinks, unable to respond in a way that would please his leader. 

“She doesn’t know about Haseul yet. What is she going to think when she finds out that her boyfriend let her die?” 

“Hongjoong—,” Seonghwa cuts in, “She can’t know about Haseul, even if you want to scare her. It’s invaluable for us to be able to hold this ove—”

“You will not tell me what I can and cannot do, Park Seonghwa!” Hongjoong yells, “I am in charge here! I am! If I want her to know about Haseul, she will know about Haseul.” 

“Of course you are, Hongjoong, you don’t need to be so angry.” Seonghwa tries to console Hongjoong, to absolutely no avail. 

Hongjoong puts his palms together, resting his index fingers on his forehead as he thinks. “I cannot take this disrespect much longer.” 

The chapel remains in tense silence, neither San nor Seonghwa wanting to be the first to say something.

Apparently that’s not what Hongjoong wanted, either. “Seonghwa,” he gets the man’s attention, “hold San steady for me, would you?”

San knows what’s coming. Hongjoong’s had it out for him for ages, and this is finally it. He’s outlived his purpose, his presence is only backfiring, it’s time for him to go. He knew that it was coming, he should’ve known that it would be now. His death would utterly destroy (Y/n), there would be nothing for her to do except accept her fate. 

Seonghwa does as Hongjoong instructs, standing behind him to hold his arms in place. San doesn’t struggle. He has to be strong. Go bravely. That’s what he wants. 

But Hongjoong surprises him. He takes a step toward him, smoothing his own ceremonial shirt before grabbing the hem of San’s and pulling it out of his pants. 

Oh… San really hadn’t been expecting tha—

But then Hongjoong hits him. Just once. 

“We’ll see how she feels when you’re not so pretty.” Hongjoong spits, literally, onto the floor of the chapel. 

San can hardly hear him through the pain rippling over his jaw, but the message is clear enough. He doesn’t need a mirror to taste the blood, or feel it pouring down his chin. Seonghwa lets go of his arms and it takes everything in him to not double over. Instead, he looks up at Hongjoong, unintimidated. 

Hongjoong stretches his hand. “She asked for you, Seonghwa. Better go comfort her.” He glares up at him. “But not too well.” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

Of course, unbeknownst to you, San leaves the… sensitive details out as he recounts Hongjoong’s tantrum for you. Not a single word of Haseul is spoken to you, but the rest is mostly accurate. 

You sit in horror as San recounts these details to you, unsure how to even react. You’ve always known that Hongjoong is capable of violence, and Seonghwa, too, but to hear of them acting such violence onto San, of all people… it’s almost unthinkable. At some point in the not too distant past, Hongjoong had trusted San to watch over you at all times of the day, and now? His own paranoia has driven him to violence? 

Your thoughts wander to Seonghwa against your own better judgment. Seonghwa is his own person, he’s taking care of himself. He doesn’t want you meddling in his relationships, and he has made this more than abundantly clear. 

But how does Hongjoong treat him? It can’t be kind. You’ve seen the slights between them, seen Hongjoong deny Seonghwa of even the simplest pleasure. Behind closed doors, what do they talk about? How does Hongjoong act around him? 

Though you’re loath to admit it, you have to worry for him. If Hongjoong is violent with you, the person he considers to be one of the most important figures in his religion… that doesn’t bode well for Seonghwa. 

“San,” you bring your thoughts back to the present moment, “I’m so sorry that you went through that for me.” 

He doesn’t stop pacing, almost ignoring your sentiment all together. “Hongjoong is crazy.” 

“I’ve known that for a while now.” 

San smiles. Smiles. “I don’t think you understand the extent of it.”

You find that hard to believe, but there probably are things that San knows about Hongjoong that you don’t.

“But that’s not important for right now. I just need you to keep your distance from him as much as possible; I’ll ask Seonghwa for his help—”

“Seonghwa?” You’re astounded. “You’re going to ask Seonghwa to help us escape?” 

San shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut, not looking at you. “No, but he’ll keep you away from Hongjoong. That’s basically his number one priority, anyways.” 

It makes sense. If Hongjoong is as volatile as he was with Seonghwa and San earlier, he’s a danger to be around. Even more so than usual. But getting Seonghwa’s help… “Won’t it be obvious what we’re trying to do?”

“You already avoid Hongjoong,” San says. “I don’t think it will be a drastic enough change to draw attention, as long as you’re not refusing to see Seonghwa.” 

The way with which San says this last sentence… is different. He’s not stuttering anymore, you realize. He hasn’t been for a while, now. When San is upset, his stutter is more pronounced than anything else, its absence is suddenly so jarring that you have to wonder why you didn’t realize when it stopped. 

There’s no emotion in his voice anymore. No personality, no San. 

You stare up at him, watching him walk back and forth in front of you. He’s not upset, not anymore, at least. What is this? 

“San.” You try to get his attention. “Are you alright?” 

He finally stops walking, if just for a second, to give you a good look at his face. “I’m fine,” he states. His eyes aren’t red, his breathing is perfectly even, his expression flat. “Why do you ask?” 

“You’re scaring me,” you say. “What’s going on?”

San resumes his pacing. “You should be scared, I should be scared, I should’ve been this whole time; But I’ve been so stupid and now isn’t the time for me to be some sniveling boy.”

You can’t respond to that. 

“I think I know when we can try to get out. I’m not going to fail you this time, (Y/n), I swear.”  

“San, wait, hold on,” you start, shaking your head, “what about your laptop? The phones? Can’t you just call the cops?” 

San smiles tightly, “I considered it, but there would be issues. Hongjoong has a plan, and things would not end well if law enforcement got involved and Hongjoong had more than five seconds to think before he was arrested or killed.” 

“So you’re seriously proposing that we run away, leaving everyone else here… forever… including the children?” 

“Would you rather be alive and here or dead and buried?” San blinks. “That’s what this comes down to for the rest of the group. We can find a way to get Mingi and Haseul, but it’s not feasible to save everyone knowing that Hongjoong has a plan for this exact situation.” 

Your stomach rolls over itself as he explains this. How can you just leave? How could you leave everyone behind and forget about them? How could San even suggest something so horrible?

The thought of freedom is enticing, but the weight that would remain on your conscience… It makes you sick just thinking about it now. 

Whatever. Fuck San. You’ll remedy the situation yourself once you’re out. There’s not a chance in hell you’d leave all of these innocent people to rot on this farm. 

San’s apathy is so jarring. Maybe that’s what waking up after years of brainwashing does to a person.

You don’t want to judge him when he’s so clearly doing this for you. To protect you. You can hardly complain that he’s resolved in this situation. 

… Yeah, no, it still rubs you the wrong way.

But you’ll shrug it off for now. “When can we go?” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

San explains the general idea to you, which he’ll refine in the coming weeks. 

With the beginning of the harvest starting, that puts the farm about one month out from the conclusion. Apparently, they don’t actually own that much acreage, just enough to surround the commune itself, so harvest doesn’t take very long. Throughout the month, there are various ceremonies that all culminate into one, final, grand ceremony at the end of the harvest. After this ceremony, there’s a party. 

It was about here when you realized where this was going.

The party is huge, apparently. Like, all-out, rager huge. Everyone gets drunk (apparently this is part of the ceremony) and everything gets a bit wild and confusing. San’s proposal is that the two of you make a break for it when everyone is (a) extremely inebriated and (b) distracted by the celebrations. 

It’s kind of cliche, but you have to imagine that it’ll work, especially if this party is as crazy as San explained. 

If it doesn’t work… the thought puts a bitter taste in your mouth. You’re not going to start pondering what you’ll do if you get caught for a second time. 

Really, this plan should work. San has access to the vehicles. With a car, you can be fifty miles away before anyone even realizes that you’re gone, so long as Hongjoong lets you out of his sight for even just a few minutes. 

With all of the noise and distractions, no one will hear the car starting. No one will hear you guys peeling out, the terrible crunch of the gravel under the wheels that you had heard what felt like so long ago. 

You think back to the night in the corn field. What a shitshow. You had to give it to yourself, you were very brave. And you got quite far for the amount of preparation that you had done. But that night… 

Remains one that you want to forget. But you’ll never forget the fear coursing through your veins, the feeling of your heart in your chest, your ears twitching with every sound that you heard. When Seonghwa was chasing you, when Hongjoong reduced you to a puddle at his feet. 

It was like being hunted for sport. 

You have to hold out hope that the car will make all of the difference here, which you’re sure that it can. Where you’re going to go… you aren’t sure. 

Surely, you know that you have to get law enforcement involved, but what San said is weighing on your mind… Maybe, if you fully explained the situation, you could get some sort of covert mission operating… But that would probably have its pitfalls, too. It’s hard to know what’s right, but you trust that you’ll figure it out once you’ve saved yourself. 

There’s also the option that the police will entirely write you off and think you’re just some crazy lady. Especially if San… 

No, wait, pause. San would tell the truth, right? Like, he would be your witness? He wouldn’t actually just let this keep happening once he’s out… 

God, the fact that you even have to weigh this option is exhausting. Why can’t you just trust him? You’ve had no problem with it before, so why should it be an issue now? Has San ever done anything to betray your trust? Minus him being a high-ranking cult official, but, like, that’s just part of the deal. You have to trust him, especially now.  If you can’t trust San, who can you trust? 

Your mind wanders to your apartment, your old college dorm room, your childhood bedroom. How dreamy would it be to be anywhere but here? You miss your big bed and your pantry full of snacks you actually like and your bookshelves stacked with your books. You miss sleeping alone, but hearing your neighbors through your thin walls; when you didn’t have a sanctioned bed time that everyone obeyed. 

On your nightstand at home, you have a framed picture of your friends. You try to picture their faces, all of them. Changbin, Mingi, Soojin, Haseul, Juyeon, and Jungeun. And, of course, your own face. When’s the last time you looked in the mirror? You think of your features, your hair, the color of your eyes and your smile. 

Horrifyingly, you can only picture Hongjoong’s smile. 

You stop trying to picture yourself.

Mingi comes to the forefront of your mind. Mingi. Do all roads lead back to Mingi? It feels like it. San had said that Mingi had run to you when you fainted, that he’d taken you from Hongjoong and carried you to the infirmary. You try to picture it, the feeling of Mingi’s arms wrapped around you again. Had he held you close, like a friend, or sterile, far away from his own body, the act of an EMT? Had he let your head hang upside down, over his arm, or did he support your neck like you would a baby? 

You don’t know what feels right. You only know that Mingi had held you and Mingi had cared. 

Maybe he threw you over his shoulder like he used to do when you refused to follow him somewhere. Probably unlikely. But you smile as you think about it, anyways, how he always used his height to his advantage and how he would sling you around like you weighed nothing. 

How many times did he have to carry you to the library? How many times did he carry you out of the library? What does carrying someone mean? When is it an act of love and when is it an act of control?

Haseul had been carried. Where is she, now? In a little room? Is Wooyoung talking to her, keeping her company? Has Mingi been a good companion to her? Is she being subjugated to Hongjoong and Seonghwa, yet? Are you going to have to attend her own Choosing ceremony, soon? 

Hongjoong wouldn’t trust you to just silently watch her ceremony, you know that well enough. It’ll probably just happen and you’ll be told after the fact. When its too late to warn her. The next time you see her, she’ll probably be in the infirmary, recovering from a fucking stab wound. 

Your own scar tingles. Would Hongjoong just kill her? He had made it clear that he decides who lives and who dies. He could just lethally aim the knife. And wouldn’t that be the ultimate punishment? Not knowing she’s dead until being told after the fact? Not being able to see her one last time? 

San wouldn’t let that happen. He would warn you, he would try to help her again, you’re sure of it. 

So you just have to focus on yourself, for now. Keep your head down, wait it out, and trust San. That’s really all that you can do. You can’t help Haseul while you’re stuck here, just like you can’t help Mingi, either. 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。.

You had half expected Hongjoong to give you a break for a few days, considering your encounter with… whatever that thing was, but that illusion is quickly destroyed when Seonghwa comes knocking on your door at the usual time the next day. 

San answers, quickly lowering his voice in what sounds like an attempt to plead with Seonghwa to leave you alone for the day. You sneak up behind San, making eye contact with Seonghwa as your appearance calls his attention. 

“What do you think, princess?” He sounds as pissed as he looks. You can imagine that he wants to be here just as much as you want him here.

Resting a hand on San’s shoulder, you tell him that you’re fine to go. Afterall, how else are you supposed to keep up appearances? And you need to learn more about what this month has in store for you.

San steps aside as Seonghwa offers you his hand, which you take. Strange, though, that he doesn’t take your arm as he usually would. Is this his way of…

Your last conversation echoes in your head. Seonghwa seemed genuinely concerned. And quite rattled. And he was honest with you, as much as you could expect him to be. Maybe he’s feeling bad. Or sentimental. Or protective. 

… Pft, who are you kidding? He probably didn’t even think twice about taking your hand instead of your arm.

Hand-in-hand, you walk silently to Hongjoong’s apartment.

Fuck. You can only hope that he’s not there. You could probably play off your curiosity about the month as your worry about what’s going to happen to you, but something tells you that Hongjoong is going to be looking for reasons to be cruel. Or you’re going to be in for some intense attempts at gaslighting you into believing… 

You have to resist a shudder at the memory. With enough effort, you probably could believe that that shit was real. Didn’t you have to beg Seonghwa to tell you that it wasn’t? You still don’t understand what the hell that even was or how it could’ve been faked, but you really can’t bring yourself to think of it. 

Seonghwa drops your hand to open the door, holding it open behind him to allow you to enter as well. 

Hesitantly, you glance around the apartment. 

“He’s not here,” Seonghwa says. “But he wants you here when he comes back.” 

The door shuts, and you sit at your usual spot on the couch. Seonghwa flops into his chair, facing you. 

“When will he be back?” 

He just shrugs, folding his arms across his chest. The image takes you back to a certain other night the two of you have been alone, and you have to clench your jaw to drive away the thoughts, looking anywhere else but at his body. 

“I suppose you have more questions.” Seonghwa doesn't ask you this, but tells you. 

Yeah, you have a lot of questions. The primary ones you either can't ask Seonghwa or you've asked him already, to no avail. 

You look at your nail beds, trying to be nonchalant. “Are you still jealous of San?” 

Why that's the question you decide to ask, you have no idea. 

Seonghwa scoffs. “Really?” He asks. “That's where we're going?” 

Shrugging, you try your best to resist looking at him. “I just thought it was strange that Hongjoong didn't want me to see him yesterday. I can't help but imagine that you must still be feeding him lies,” you say. “He also told me that it was you that had to physically hold him back when I fell.” Not to mention the other holding he did. 

Though you don't look at him, you can imagine his displeasure spreading across his expression. “I don't know why you insist that there's nothing between you. It's nothing to be ashamed of, minus the fact that your misadventures could only cause harm to San.” 

“Exactly,” your eyes flit up to his face, “I'd never put him in danger.” 

“Your loyalty to a man you hardly know is admirable,” Seonghwa says through a sneer. 

“I know San better than I know you.” 

You could swear his eye twitches. “Sure you do.” 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” You blink. “I have no reason to not trust San, and every reason to not trust you.” 

Seonghwa shakes his head, smiling. “I think you're forgetting your situation, Princess. San is your punishment, and you're his.” He brushes his bangs out of his eyes. “I never said you had to trust me. I think you do, anyways.”

You stay silent, knowing that he's at least partially correct. You probably do trust Seonghwa, at least more than a lot of the people here. 

“Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked for me to calm you yesterday.” 

“I asked for San, first.”

“And what would he have told you?” Seonghwa leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Not what you wanted to hear. He wouldn't have been able to assure you of anything. I did.” 

Again, you know he's right. San hadn't been able to do much to calm your nerves, despite tell you his plan for your escape. 

You lock eyes with him, planning to defend San, but your gaze betrays you. Seonghwa leans back in the chair, knowing he's got you.

“Who was in the costume?” You ask instead. 

Seonghwa deigns to look confused. “I'm not sure what you mean.” 

The frustration of the prior day comes back at full force. Why can't just one other person acknowledge the fucking insanity of this place? Why can't Seonghwa just say what he means? Why is he so insistent on agreeing with Hongjoong, no matter the cost?

“Do you ever get tired of being Hongjoong's lapdog?” 

“Lapdog?” He smiles. “Come here.”

You swallow as he gestures for you to stand in front of him, recognizing the gesture from weeks prior. “No.”

Seonghwa stands instead, stepping around the coffee table to be able to stand before you. Forced into looking up at him, you hate this upper hand he's suddenly gained through your refusal. 

He bends, using a hand to grip the sofa behind your shoulder. Face to face, he mockingly pouts. “That's what you think of me?” 

You keep your mouth shut, hoping your gaze is burning through him.

“You said it yourself,” he leans closer to you, “you hardly know me.” 

With his face so close to your own, you hardly even feel like you can breathe, like it would be encroaching on his space. You glance between his eyes, trying your damnedest to not look anywhere else. If you looked at his lips… his pretty, plump lips… 

Fortunately, or, perhaps unfortunately, the doorknob starts rattling a few feet away from the both of you, and Seonghwa quickly leans out of the compromising position. Slipping a hand in his pocket, he stares down at you once more. “This isn’t over.” 

The door opens, but neither of you turn to greet who you know will be in the doorway. You’d have to imagine it’s quite a sight to see, the both of your staring daggers at each other, unwilling to be the first to look away. 

Hongjoong isn’t pleased by your ignorance. He slams the door behind him as he enters his apartment, and Seonghwa finally relieves you of his look. 

Your eyes only move to Hongjoong when he comes to stand next to Seonghwa, his hand resting on his bicep.

“Well, well, well,” he says, “having a lively conversation? Without me?” 

Hongjoong gently turns Seonghwa so that he’s angled to sit on the couch, pushing him down until he’s sitting right next to you. Your thighs brush. Hongjoong moves back to sit on the chair Seonghwa vacated, settling himself in before speaking again. 

“Have you had time to reflect on what happened yesterday?” Hongjoong inquires, tilting his head. He’s wearing his glasses, the overhead light reflecting off of them, obscuring his irises. “If I seemed frustrated with you, I must apologize. You have to understand that it was a very scary experience, even for myself. And I forgive you for the way that you reacted, as well.”

You squint at Hongjoong. As if you had anything to be sorry for. He’s the one that got himself all mad for no reason. He should be apologizing to San. 

But you can only imagine how this conversation will go if you continue to argue with him about the validity of the… thing. And San requested you to keep a low profile. He probably wouldn’t want you bringing up his mistreatment. So you nod a couple times, hoping that he doesn’t want you to vocalize an apology. 

“You must have been in shock,” Hongjoong continues. “Which would explain your inability to accept what had happened.” 

Nodding again, you try to figure out where he’s going with this. Does he want you to start asking questions? Does he seriously, genuinely believe that you’ve lost it, now? He can’t.

So, what? He just wants you to act like you have? He must know that it would just be a ruse, so why does he want you to go along with it so badly?

Seonghwa certainly knows that you’re not fooled, and you can expect that he told Hongjoong this after you spoke to him yesterday. Who is this act for, exactly? 

“As important as you are, it makes sense that you were targeted. The Guardians, in fact, are responsible for the loss of your predecessor.” 

Okay, so, that’s a lie. Hongjoong told you as much himself. He’s really going to go back on his word, gaslight you into forgetting what he already said? He might be able to get you to forget what he told you about Haneul, but not so soon after you found out about her. 

Haneul’s memory is alive and well in your head, despite the fact that you never met her. You owe it to her to remember the facts of her life, and her death, as best as you can. It awakens a tinge of anger in you to even hear Hongjoong so blatantly disregard her truth. He told you, to your face, that he liked you more than her. So he got rid of her. Not these “guardians” or whatever the fuck he’s trying to blame for her death. 

“The Guardians,” you say, plainly. “Are… what, exactly?” 

Hongjoong leans back in the chair, crossing his arms. “Well, there’s quite an extensive explanation in The Answer, but I suppose it could be beneficial to hear about them from me.

“The Guardians, simply put, are our antagonists. They protect the Sign, keeping it in the hands of those that oppose us. When we’re close to reaching the Sign, or when the barrier is thinner than normal, such as during a ceremony, they can appear. They’re rather frightening, and they can kill or bring Followers back to their dimension.”

… You blink at Hongjoong, remembering to nod periodically through his explanation. What are you supposed to say to that? 

“So, yesterday, then, it was trying to… kill me?” You ask, sensing that Hongjoong wants something to bounce off of. 

He tsks. “I don’t suspect kill, but rather kidnap. If they know that you’ve been Chosen, they’ll continue to target you whenever the barrier is thin. Surely they know that we would go to great lengths to recover you if they were able to steal you away.” 

Hongjoong speaks with such a conviction that you can see how people are led to believe in him. If you had a weaker mindset, his crock of shit might just make sense. Or be just scary enough to make you want to believe that he could protect you. 

“But you scared it away? Yesterday?” 

Hongjoong nods gravely, closing his eyes. “They fear my presence, thankfully. Very rarely can they stand to be in the same room as me.” 

You smile, hopefully not sarcastically. “That’s very lucky for me, then.” 

“It is,” Seonghwa cuts in, surprisingly. “Hongjoong will always be with you, so you’ll always be safe.” Even more surprising than his words, Seonghwa slides his hand into resting on your mid-thigh, assuringly squeezing you. You turn toward him with wide eyes, about to question what the hell he thinks he’s doing, when his expression makes it very clear to you that you should drop the subject. 

Bizarre. Why would Seonghwa be warning you to stop talking about what Hongjoong so clearly wants you to speak about? 

So you turn back toward Hongjoong, who’s agreeing with what Seonghwa said, seemingly oblivious to his little boyfriend’s hand on your thigh. “Is there any way to protect myself, if I am alone?” You ask instead of heeding Seonghwa’s warning. 

He squeezes your thigh harder, but you ignore it. What the hell is he trying to steer you away from? If he doesn’t want you to talk about it, surely it’s something that you’re going to want to know, right? Seonghwa can’t be looking out for you, not when Hongjoong is in the room. He has his priorities in order, and Hongjoong far outweighs yourself. 

“Great question,” Hongjoong smiles approvingly. “So long as you have a Sign of the Answer on your person, you can fend them off yourself. They revere the Sign, they won’t harm someone under its protection.”

If that’s the case… you would’ve been fine, yesterday, then. As always, you had been wearing a Sign pinned to your shirt, somewhere. Though Hongjoong would probably try to argue with you that you must have been missing it, otherwise the Guardian wouldn’t have been able to attack.

But then that also raises the question. Is kidnapping someone the same as harming them? Maybe it wouldn’t have killed you, but could it still have taken you? Assuming that Hongjoong isn’t just some very creative psycho, that is. Purely for thought exercise, you have to wonder what the Sign could really protect someone from. Was yesterday an attack? Or merely an appearance?

You sense that Seonghwa is trying to warn you away from the areas that Hongjoong doesn’t have fleshed out. For all you know, yesterday is the first time that a Guardian has ever appeared in the flesh. Hongjoong might not have prepared for every possible question that you could ask. 

The questions that you’re most curious about are things that you can’t ask him. Who did he have dressed up? How did they make that stature, that outfit, that… aura? Where was the face? Were you drugged? Was everyone drugged? Did everyone see the same thing that you did, or is everyone collectively lying to you to help their leader? Seriously, where the fuck was that thing’s face? How did they do that? If it wasn’t for that gaping maw of nothingness, you’d have a much easier time writing the entire experience off as the complete joke that you logically know it must have been. You push the thought away for now. 

“I’ll be sure to always wear my pins, then.” You motion to where you have one pinned to your collar. “I have questions about the ceremonies in general, though, Hongjoong. Can I ask a few things?” 

He motions for you to proceed, and Seonghwa’s hand doesn’t tighten its hold on you, so you do. “Will there be more sacrifices?” 

Hongjoong nods. “There’s a sacrifice for each ceremony.”

“What is the sacrifice for? To what deity?” 

A hint of exasperation crosses his face as Seonghwa slides his hand a little higher. “I’ve explained this. Sacrifices are sent to different universes as aid for our clones. There’s no God in particular the sacrifice is for, except for me.” 

“So they can even use animals, in the other universes? The situation is so dire?” 

Seonghwa pinches you instead of squeezing. Hongjoong’s exasperation melts into wry acceptance. “Yes, it is. Have you ever gone months without eating meat?” 

… Yeah, probably. But you’re not going to press him harder on the subject. “I was just curious, I didn’t mean to question you. How many more ceremonies will there be this month?”

Seonghwa’s hand doesn’t move, and it’s right about now that you’re starting to feel a little bit insane because of it. Why would he put his hand on your thigh, of all places? Why does it keep migrating upward? Why don’t you just say something to stop him? Or use your own hand to move his away? Why is the warmth of his palm seeping through your jeans so quickly? Why hasn’t Hongjoong said something yet?

“There will be one ceremony each weekend.” He says, calmer, now. “But you won’t have to participate in all of them. The most important ceremonies, the first and the last, are different and thus require the Bearer’s presence.” 

Well, that takes a bit of the pressure off, at least. Knowing that you don’t have to personally participate in every ceremony, though, no doubt, you’ll have to be present at each of them, makes you feel just a tad bit better. You have to imagine that Haseul’s Choosing ceremony will be soon… 

“Hongjoong, did I do good yesterday?” You ask, trying to feign your most innocent look. “Can I see Haseul, soon?” 

He gives you a small smile, but his answer doesn’t match it at all. “No. You made me quite mad, yesterday.”

The response is actually slightly shocking. You knew you had made him upset, but for him to vocalize it to you? To deny you seeing Haseul because of some bullshit that he orchestrated himself? 

“But—”

“No buts about it,” Hongjoong says. “You’ll be able to see Haseul once you’re behaving on a consistent basis.” 

“Won’t she have a Choosing ceremony?” You blurt, hoping that you weren’t the one to put the idea in his head. Maybe he had been planning on just keeping her locked up and not actually indoctrinating her. Had you even considered that? 

Hongjoong sighs. “I haven’t decided. Is she worthy of one?” 

What the hell does he mean ‘worthy?’ He’s seriously not going to jump at the chance to bring her in? If he wanted to, he could just kill her then and there; wouldn’t that be his dream? To end her life in front of you? Wouldn’t that just tickle his fancy? You don’t understand. 

Unless he’s taking a certain pity on her, which you highly doubt.

He must see your confusion painted plainly on your face, dismissing the thought with a wave of his hand. “It’s no matter. You’ll see her when you deserve to. Seonghwa,” —he abruptly changes the topic and his tone— “where exactly is your hand going?” 

Seonghwa’s hand flies off of you, landing promptly back into his own lap.

“That’s what I thought.” Hongjoong tuts. “Do we need to discuss the lines that must not be crossed, again?” 

You shake your head. You do not need the sex talk again from Hongjoong. God. And it's not like you were feeling him up. 

“Seonghwa, you look particularly guilty. Do you need to tell me something?”

You suspect that, if Seonghwa looks or feels guilty of something, it's not the hand on your thigh. It's the warning you to stray away from topics that could upset Hongjoong. 

But, glancing over at him, you’re surprised to see how red his face has gotten. Do you really get him going so easily? You could almost laugh, if not for the circumstances. Surely he's not so embarrassed just to have been seen with a hand on your leg. Its not like Hongjoong walked in on his hand down your pants or anything. And hadn’t he been all up in your face before Hongjoong arrived? Where’d that confident asshole go? 

Hongjoong’s presence makes all the difference, you suppose. Hopefully he's able to play off this little episode as embarrassment about touching you. If Hongjoong realizes what he was doing, he'd probably get in trouble. 

Which is still perplexing. Why had Seonghwa done that? Since when does he want to protect you? The way he's been acting, yesterday and today, just doesn't… align with the picture you have in your head. 

Seonghwa looks literally anywhere else than at you or Hongjoong, shaking his head as well. 

Slowly, he uses his hands to slide himself farther down the couch from you. Hongjoong chuckles from your opposite side, bringing you back into the reality that you temporarily abandoned. 

“That’s pathetic, Seonghwa, really.” 

Seonghwa simply looks back toward the coffee table, his face pink. Hongjoong is so harsh.

“Anyways,” Hongjoong calls your attention back towards him, “anything you want to tell me, (Y/n)? How’s San?”

This obsession with your relationship with San is infinitely annoying. What makes them think that you’re ever going to admit to what they suspect of you? 

“San is perfectly fine.” 

Hongjoong’s eyebrow twitches. “Oh? I only ask because he was rather… upset, yesterday, is all.”

“Wasn’t everyone a little upset?”

“Not so personally.” 

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know how many different ways I can tell you that you made us live together, so it’s only natural that we care about each other.” 

“Well,” is Hongjoong’s entire response. 

The room falls into a rather uncomfortable silence. 

You look back at Seonghwa, but he’s just looking at his hands, folded in his lap, now. 

Hongjoong looks at his nail beds. 

“Are we done, then?” You ask. 

“You don’t have any more questions?” Hongjoong responds with a question, not looking up at you. 

You rack your mind for anything else. Sure, there are plenty of questions, just not ones that he would be happy to answer.

“I guess not.” 

Hongjoong looks up, flicking his eyes between you and Seonghwa. “Shall I escort you back to your apartment?” 

You look back at Seonghwa, who’s now looking between you and Hongjoong. 

“I don’t have a preference,” you say, even though you definitely do. 

“I can take her,” Seonghwa springs up, offering you his hand. 

Taking it, you also stand. “I actually have one more question, Hongjoong.”

He has to look up at you for once. He simply waits for your question while you gaze down at him.

“Is the sacrifice always an animal?”

He smiles. “More or less.”

Great. Wonderful. Perfect. You absolutely hate that response. More or less? Thats the most non-answer answer that he could've given you. And it definitely means that its not always an animal. Which makes you wonder when… and who… 

Stunned into silence, you say nothing. Neither does Seonghwa.

“Hurry back.” Hongjoong requests, dismissing the two of you without another word. 

Once you’re outside of Hongjoong’s apartment, you debate teasing Seonghwa, but decide against it. Though it would be quite fun, the poor guy is probably going to get it from Hongjoong already, no need to add to his torment. Plus, he was just trying to help you. 

He walks you in silence, again, hand-in-hand, back to your apartment. 

No sooner than you’re saying goodbye and shutting the door behind you does San appear in the entryway, grabbing for you. 

“Are you alright? Are you hurt? What happened?” He frantically asks, looking you up and down and all around, his hands flying around your limbs to check for injuries.

Stunned, you stay still. “I’m fine?” 

San sighs in relief, guiding you back toward the couch, sitting and pulling you onto his lap. “I was so worried they’d somehow found out. That you’d be hurt.” 

You shuffle around so that your back can rest against the armrest of the sofa, your legs still resting over his.

“They absolutely cannot find out, no matter what,” San says. “Can you tell me what you talked about?” 

So you explain the conversations for him, using a free hand to card through his hair as you do. He seems to relax after you’ve elaborated, though you leave out the part about Seonghwa and his hand. 

Part of you wonders if you should feel guilty about messing with Seonghwa. Not for his sake, but for San’s. What even is going on between the two of you? You probably shouldn’t be flirting with the enemy anyways, but San probably wouldn’t be overjoyed to hear about the things that have happened between yourself and Seonghwa. The fact that you leave it out when recounting the meeting must prove that you know that it’s wrong. 

“Come here,” you open your arms to him. 

He slips out from under you, realigning himself so that he can rest his head on your chest. “We’ll get out of here, together.” He wraps his arms around your waist.

You do the same, continuing to run your fingers through his hair. There’s nothing you can do but agree with him. The two of you will escape together, and soon. After that, you can forget all about this place. 

… Yeah, in your dreams. The real horror might start after you’re gone. You have to believe that San is telling the truth about Hongjoong. Revealing the cult to the authorities will only end in horror if you’re not careful. 

And you find it hard to believe that you’ll be okay once you’re gone. You’ve considered it before, the way that this sort of trauma affects someone. How long will you have to recover? Will you be able to go back to your old life? 

Will San be part of it? 

You squeeze him tighter and he reciprocates. 

← previous || next → || masterlist

#ateez angst #ateez series #ateez x reader #kim hongjoong x reader #park seonghwa x reader #jeong yunho x reader #kang yeosang x reader #choi san x reader #song mingi x reader #jung wooyoung x reader #choi jongho x reader #the answer #update

[fizzfags]

EMIZEL/FIZZFANGS ANALYSIS

the long awaited. under the cut bc its really long and im fucking insane. (this does not necessarily focus on them as a romantic pairing, just the way they interact with each other. interpret it in whichever way is most compelling to you/what you see fit.)

EMIZEL:

the most notable thing about emizel is the fact that he is mainly motivated by status and climbing the social hierarchy in whatever situation he is currently in. in his human life, that was climbing the ranks within the demons. after he dies, he doesnt really understand the social hierarchy within vampire society, but he does understand that its very important to at least be in good standing.

(episode 2)

he has an inherent disrespect towards authority, also seen with his father, (which i will get to later) as seen with this interaction with arthur. he's insistent on meeting the important figures within vampire society in la, and prioritizes this over, say, learning how being a vampire actually works. in the same episode, he also tells arthur "It just seems like we have similar goals, you know? I clearly don't know what I'm doing in vampire society. You do. So I need to learn. And you did say you'd take responsibility for teaching me." keep in mind that this is only a week or so after he was turned. things become interesting when we see him interacting with said important figures.

(episode 4)

in a stark contrast to arthur, hes relatively polite and respectful. obviously, this is to build favor for himself within the community of important and respected figures. also notable, he is lying out of his fucking ass. this is probably my biggest piece of evidence against the people that genuinely believe that emizel is unintelligent, because he clearly knows what hes doing.

as stated in the tweet, he gets killed/injured makes stupid decisions so often because he's used to operating under the rules of the demons and normal human society, and he hasnt learned that consequences and rules are enforced much harsher in regards to vampires. his rash and impulsive personality/decision making skills/opposition to authority figures that he doesnt like just isnt compatible with vampire society, and this leads to him getting hurt (see any and all of his interactions with edward)

(episode 4)

so, we know he lies to get what he wants (status, respect, etc) and doesn't feel bad about it. now is time to address his upbringing. obviously, it was not great. he has a very negative relationship with his father, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to describe it as potentially abusive. "Listen, I've lived with this guy my whole life. He's always kind of been a piece of shit to me, so do what you want - I couldn't care any less. But, if you're making me choose between my wellbeing and his, then I'm always going to choose me. Besides, I can't do any of that mind shit anyways." (episode 2) we can most likely assume he joined the demons relatively young, as a way to escape or have a place to stay other than his dads house. this is also probably the source of his opposition to authority, especially those that act negatively towards him.

(episode 6)

episode 6 is very interesting. emizel risks his life to go back to the unseen one to ask a very specific question: "why did i get abandoned with my father, and why did shilo get to stay?" also noting that his most precious memory is one he had with the demons. when shilo asks about this question, he gets very defensive, because he knows that shilo would have an answer for him, but its not the answer he wants. if he tells them, they wont let him go back to the unseen one. of course, his question is left unanswered, and he asks it again in episode 10.

another very interesting thing happens in episode 10: he willingly gets rid of all memories of his father. he had a lot of other things he could have given up, but he specifically chose his father. with the definite negative impact his dad must have had on him, and how highly emizel prioritizes strength, it wouldnt be a stretch to say that he viewed the trauma of living with his father as a weakness, something to get rid of instead of grow and heal from. it would take time, a resource he isn't willing to share.

so, why is emizel so motivated towards power and status? with all this, the answer is pretty obvious: he wants to be able to build the life he was never able to have. power and status means money means opportunities means choices means a better life. he wants an escape from la, from his father, from everything he's had to deal with growing up. hes constantly reminding himself that its not fair, its not fair that shilo got to live that way, its not fair he was abandoned and stuck here. so he wants to make it fair for himself and the rest of his posse. those he considers his family. his jealousy motivates him.

so of course a wrench is thrown in everything when he loses that emotional connection to most of his friends (except theo. which i will get to) and finds himself just not caring anymore. the thing hes built his life around, spent years climbing the ranks - all for nothing. but what else can he do but continue on. find another distraction, find another goal.

THEO:

we don't know much about theos past other than he (supposedly) lives in the suburbs and has rich parents. (referenced in episode 8) though this is debatably canon, i think its interesting if it is because it brings up a lot of questions. most notably, why did he join the demons? the most obvious answer is that it's the same as emizel: his parents suck. though of course none of this is canon, so moving onto the things that are.

the first major event that happens to him is emizel being turned. he sees emizel less, "No shit, really? You know Emizel? How is he keeping up? He's kinda, been disappearin' every night." (episode 2) and we can assume emizel is a big part of his life. (which i will get to later) and then, thanks to shilo, a core aspect of his personality is stripped away. his entire life is essentially turned on his head, and he can feel something missing. so, as seen in episode 5, he turns to alcohol. its no surprise why, he's lost the sense of normality, his routine, everything he was used to. so he may as well do this. a lot of theos more interesting aspects only really show when hes interacting with emizel, so time to get to the fun part.

FIZZFANGS AS A WHOLE:

a very interesting thing is that emizel and theo act very differently when talking/interacting with each other than any other character. dialogue-wise, they both talk a lot faster and "messier" around one another, interrupting themselves and eachother to finish each others thoughts.

(episode 3)

just by their conversations, you can tell they're very close. this particular instance also has two other interesting things in it: theo asking what he can do to help emizel, and condi specifying that theo would be the only person emizel would tell about being a vampire. to address the first part, here is a complete list of all the times theo asks emizel what he should do/what he should do to help/etc (and this is an incomplete transcript, so ive probably missed a couple.)

"Alright, you lead the way man, let's do it." (ep 1)

"What's going on here? What do I do? What do you want me to do, man?" (ep 1)

"No man! I'm not leaving you, man! I can take him. I can still take him." (ep 1)

"I'm not leaving you, man!" (ep 1)

"Well, how can I help you with the non-soda related-?" (ep 3)

"Yeah! I mean... What should I do first?" (ep 3)

"So you just let me know whenever you need? I got you, bro." (ep 3)

"So, uh… Anything I can help with?" (ep 5)

"Don't worry, man. I got you. Where am I taking you?" (ep 5)

"So, um… how, c- how can I help you, man?" (ep 8)

this fucking crazy interaction:

(episode 3)

so it goes without saying that theo would do anything for emizel. and he does, he stays in the alley even after he gets hurt, he stays even after he watches emizel die. and when emizel crawls over to him, dazed and hungry for blood, he doesnt run. he only runs after emizel tells him to. another really important thing about their relationship is the fact that they're both a constant in each others lives.

(episode 8)

its kind of like they sort people into two boxes: "theo/emizel" and "everyone else." and the other will always be their highest priority. emizel drives to the other side of la just to see theo. after emizel dies in the club, his first instinct is to go find theo. theo is the only person that the unseen one appears as to him. in episode 8, the first step to his plan is finding theo.

(episode 6)

even if he hadn't just lot a good amount of emotional connection to the rest of his friends, i think he would still be a lot more urgent to go save him. and again, his first thought is to check if theo is there. if theo's okay, if he's safe.

(episode 5)

and theo does this too. he insists that emizel is his only friend, the only one he trusts. speaking of trust, that is the most crucial aspect to their relationship. they trust eachother a sickening amount, they regularly put their life in the others hands. when emizel drinks theos blood, its not "is he going to hurt me?" its "how can i make this the safest?" because theo trusts emizel not to hurt him, even after knowing he's killed ~12 people.

(episode 3)

and here, emizel trusts that theo loves him enough to be okay with this. note that arthur doesn't even bring up love, emizel is the first to. arthur only brings it up after emizel says that. because emizel knows that theo loves him and trusts him, emizel knows that theo would do anything for him.

(episode 9)

and emizel, notorious for not letting anyone close enough to hurt him, tells theo that if he wants to, not needs, wants, he can kill him. that theo can kill him, if he wants. because emizel doesn't fully trust himself alone, but he trusts himself when he's with theo.

and theo trusts emizel too. despite seeing what vampires can do in a frenzy, he trusts that emizel wouldn't hurt him, just as emizel trusts that theo would stop him before anything could ever happen. and emizel is a notorious liar, so we can assume that he doesn't/wouldn't lie to theo, which would explain why theo trusts him so much.

basically, they'll always be there for eachother and theo would do anything for emizel and emizel will always come back to theo in the end and they love eachother and despite everything they are together. theyre completely inseperable.

tl;dr: emizels main MOTIVATION is status, while the most IMPORTANT thing to him is theo

#jrwi #the suckening #emizel tucker #theo collins #fizzfangs

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

Could I possibly request Loki x pregnant aesir (from Asgard) wife reader? Obviously, the first person they would tell is Frigga.

Thank you ❤️ for the Ask

Trigger Warning ⚠️🚨: a Baby + Pregnancy + small mention about being scared of Miscarriage + sad thoughts

The Pregnancy Announcement

It's been a few weeks since you know about your Pregnancy but kept it a secret from your Husband.

Wanting to wait just a little longer because you remembered what some Woman told you about the first Stage of a Pregnancy,it's dangerous - the Risk of a Miscarriage is very high .

You recall them saying to keep it concealed the first 12 Weeks - but Loki isn't stupid he knows right away something is wrong, you can't keep a Secret from him ,not that long anyway.

He figured it out by your Symptoms the mood changes, nausea, how tired and exhausted you are lately .

Loki knows that you are Pregnant with his Child but doesn't understand why you haven't told him ,he feels distressed,hurt and disappointed.

A few days later after taking a shower you looked at yourself in the Mirror, studied your Body, stared at your Belly and realized you can't hide it any longer.

Unintentionally you said it out loud - suddenly you hear Loki say " Oh ,is that so ?" in an Sarcastic Tone.

Nervous you answered " Loki , I .. listen..I can explain"

" You must have a good reason for sure" he replied hurt

" I wanted to tell you..I swear... I was too scared..I thought what if I tell you and then something happened... what if by telling you about it too early I jinxed it ...I didn't want to disappoint you..to make you sad .. I would rather suffer alone " you explain sobbing - cursing your Pregnancy Hormones

"My Love, don't you dare say something like that,I won't let you suffer alone,never.I am sure everything will be alright. "- Loki comforts - giving you a Hugg and a moment later he gently touches your Belly.

He whispered happily " Our Baby "

"I will be a Father " Loki beamed

"Yes ,my Dear ,

It's late , let's go to Bed , Daddy " you teased him

Two weeks later after your check up Appointment

- everything's alright with the Baby , the Heart Beat , the size -

Loki and you decided to tell Frigga about your Pregnancy - She should be the first to know.

Before visiting Loki's Mother you wanted to show him what you bought for Frigga - " Look Loki , isn't this Romper cute - It says ,I love my Grandma - and the little Socks are so adorable, aren't they " you giggled excited

Loki smiled kissing your Cheek.

A short time later you both went to Frigga's Chambers ,she was already waiting for Loki and you .

Frigga claimed it's been too long since the last time you both visited.

Loki answered quickly " I apologize Mother but my Wife wasn't feeling well lately"

"Ohh is that so ,well I hope She feels better now " Frigga replied worried

" Thank you, I feel much better now but more important .....We have to tell you something" you smiled joyful

"Mother,we also have something for you" Loki added ,giving her the cute Baby Clothes.

"I am Pregnant " you announced

Frigga responds pleased with Tears in her Eyes " I am so happy for both of you.I will be a Grandma soon "

A moment later she hugged both of you - kissed Loki's Cheek and told him how proud she is "Seeing you so happy was all I ever wanted my Dear Boy."

My Masterlist

#loki #loki laufeyson #mcu loki #marvel loki #loki fluff #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki x reader fluff #loki laufeyson x reader #loki fanfic #loki of asgard #mcu #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel mcu

[totowlff]

your newest tweet gave me a few ideas.. what about a oneshot where reader gets called into toto's office bc she was often seen getting way too comfy with another team's worker and then toto gets mad and tells her that's not good for mercedes's image etc but actually hes just jealous.... what do you say?

i guess this makes you his...

prisioner

Walking towards meeting room number two, you still felt the effect of jet lag on your body. Readjusting to the Brackley’s time zone was always a challenge, even more so after races in Asia and the fact that you were at the factory the day after you returned wasn't much help. However, it wasn't like you could refuse to go, especially with the bold letters in the email that had arrived during your flight.

And you knew your boss wouldn't take no for an answer.

— He could have scheduled it for later — you muttered to yourself, as you passed by an employee who was holding a tray with a cup of coffee, which would be very welcome after the meeting, the subject of which you still didn't know.

It was strange to your boss not to tell you what would be discussed, but you could already imagine what he would prattle on about to you and the rest of the team. “He must think he was sorely missed in Suzuka”, you thought, as you opened the door to the meeting room.

The space was practically empty, except for his boss, who was sitting at one end of the table. His dark eyes were fixed on the phone screen, his fingers typing some important email.

— You're late — he said, without looking up.

— Not everyone has a helicopter to get to work, Mr. Wolff.

Looking up at you, there was a certain skepticism in his expression.

— I don't use a helicopter, Y/N, I just value punctuality.

— Neither do I — you replied, as you walked towards the chair right next to his — But, fortunately, I don't risk losing my passport if I arrive two minutes late, unlike you, Toto.

He stared at you in silence, his eyes trying to figure out if that had been an elaborate attack or just another one of your sarcasm-filled phrases. Giving a small smile, you gave your boss the answer you were looking for in his expression.

— Well, now that you're here, I think we can start — he said, placing his cell phone on the table.

You glanced at the unoccupied chairs at the table before turning to him.

— But aren't we going to wait for the others?

— There are no others — your boss said, dryly.

— So…

— It's a matter between you and me, Y/N.

Your heartbeat was heavy in his chest.

—And what would it be about, Toto?

Grabbing the controller from the table, Toto pressed a button. On the wall opposite you, an image flashed on the television screen and, almost involuntarily, you let out a laugh.

— Do you want to talk about Jerôme? — you asked, smiling.

— I want to talk about your behavior this weekend. Especially in relation to Jerôme.

Your smile faded as you realized he wasn't joking. And the part that worried you the most was that you were sure you had done nothing other than what you had been instructed. “Accompany Jerôme and offer the help he needs during the weekend”, you remembered the email that had arrived in Singapore, along with the confirmation that Toto would not travel with the team to Japan.

— Did Jerôme report anything to you? — you asked, fearing the answer.

— No. I'm reporting right now — he replied, with his dark eyes fixed on yours — Your behavior was completely unacceptable, Y/N.

— But, I didn't do anything — you stuttered, confused.

— You did —Toto interrupted you — I saw it with my eyes, Y/N, no one needed to tell me.

—And what did I do? — you asked.

Your boss snorted, running a tense hand through his hair.

— You spent the weekend practically on top of him, laughing at his jokes, smiling at him and — he shouted — Being an adorable and fantastic woman and, damn...

The realization hit you like a punch.

— Did you call me here to say you are jealous? — you asked, still in disbelief at the simple possibility of him having done that simply because his ego was hurt. And Toto's expression was the confirmation you needed to be sure of that.

— Jealous — he laughed, to disguise his own discomfort — I'm not jealous.

— Yes, you are. You're jealous because I was an exemplary employee and helped him as you asked me to! — you exclaimed — I only did what you asked me to do.

— I don't remember asking you to be glued on him...

— You asked me to help him.

— If I had known you were going to do this, I would have canceled the fucking surgery.

— I could have done it during the summer break — you murmured.

— I already had plans, I couldn't cancel them.

You raised your eyebrow.

— Is fucking me on your yacht what you call a plan?

Toto looked at you, seriously. His jealousy wasn't completely unfounded, as you had crossed all lines of a professional relationship a long time ago, during one of the company's end-of-year parties. It only took a few mojitos and a suggestive comment about your cleavage for the two of you to end up in the bathroom, your knuckles white as Toto thrusted inside you.

— It was important — he murmured.

— The surgery was important too — you countered.

— And leave you there, doing whatever you want?

— As far as I know, I'm a free woman — you said, without blinking. It wasn't a lie, you were in fact free and officially single. What you had with Toto was just an affair, something without commitment, you weren’t dumb or innocent.

However, something in his eyes changed when he heard those words.

— What did you say?

— I'm a free woman, Toto — you repeated, as he got up from the chair, his expression almost dark — I'm single, I can easily flirt with whoever I want. And, to be honest, I don’t know why the hell I’m still here…

His voice trailed off as he realized he had stopped right behind your chair. And then, you felt his hand slide down your neck gently.

— You're not free, Y/N — Toto whispered in your ear — You stopped being free the day you stepped into my office for the first time.

Then, you felt him squeeze your neck, causing a wave of heat to spread through your body. There was no gentleness in his touch anymore. Just desire.

— You are mine. Just mine.

#toto wolff #wlffflashes #formula 1 fic #f1 fic #toto wolff x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #toto wolff fanfic

[feelrush]

JADE CITY.

— dialogue prompts from jade city by fonda lee.

“what’s going on? you seem out of sorts tonight.”

“send me the bill for the damage. i’ll take care of it.”

“tell me, my friend. have you had any other trouble around here lately?”

“sitting out here alone? something the matter?”

“how am i still alive when they’re all dead?”

“what did you come for at this hour, anyway? spit it out.”

“you should have killed that man!”

“i fell asleep waiting for you, and in return you scare the shit out of me. where were you?”

“you’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

“i’ve forgotten the past. everything’s forgiven, now that you’re back.”

“ah, what to choose, pain or failure?”

“where are you taking me?”

“cancel the rest of the day’s meetings. i’ll be in my office.”

“wait here and don’t move until you’re called.”

“i’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve been brought here.”

“may i… ask a candid question?”

“i’ll wait for an answer, but not for long.”

“you have to pay attention every fucking second because i can’t always be there if there’s trouble, understand?”

“sometimes the old ways are not without wisdom.”

“can you drive? can you handle a gun?”

“i keep seeing you, but i don’t know your name.”

“do you have anything to drink? it’s still hot inside.”

“whatever it is you decide to do, i’ll support you. i’ve told you that before, and it hasn’t changed.”

“i’m afraid i’m paying you this visit out of a sense of great concern.”

“there needs to be a balance of power.”

“what do they think we are? hired thugs?”

“why the fuck are you here?”

“i knocked but you must not have heard me.”

“you look as if you could use a massage.”

“i visit here too often; it’s not safe for you.”

“i have a gun, and i know how to use it. i won’t be a burden. i can take care of myself.”

“we’ll talk about this later.”

“from now on, i’ll be sure to call out hello to you when i’m still well out of knife range.”

“what can i do to help?”

“if anyone tried to kill you, you deserved it.”

“what is wrong with you? you don’t know who you are anymore.”

“give me your blessing, or condemn me, but don’t wash your hands of me.”

“not ready to die yet. gonna quit while i’m ahead.”

“you work for me now, you understand?”

“i’m disappointed you didn’t accept my offer.”

“we can plan a wedding, a big one. pick a date. i was thinking soon—springtime, what do you think?”

“you can do anything else you want, but not this.”

“it’s not that i think you’re boring. it’s just that keeping watch over you isn’t all that exciting, you know.”

“and here i was, starting to think all our meetings were because you were working up to hitting on me.”

“where and how did you fuck up?”

“risk your own life how you like, but leave me alone to live mine.”

“i’m not a coward.”

“i’ve never asked you for anything, but i’m asking you now, to keep this secret.”

“you do a good job, you make a big impression, show just how valuable you can be—that’s when we talk for real.”

“you were fantastic out there tonight.”

“do you want to get something to eat? we can do it another time if you’d rather go out with your friends tonight.”

“please don’t kill him.”

“must you leave so soon? come back to bed. stay the night.”

“heaven help me. i’m going to kill them all.”

“betrayal, murder, and war have a way of ruining one’s plans.”

“i could still kill him for you.”

“i can kill my ex-boyfriends myself.”

“don’t look like that. like you think i’m disappointed in you when i’m not.”

“i couldn’t sleep and wondered if you’d be kind enough to join me for a cup of tea.”

“it’s been a long day, and i don’t think i’d be very good company right now.”

“but what’s the value of silly pride compared to doing what’s best for the people one loves?”

“expectations are a funny thing. when you’re born with them, you resent them. when you’ve never been given any, you feel the lack of them your whole life.”

“people are cruel. don’t tempt them with arrogance.”

“so long as i live, i’ll never turn my back on a friend.”

“get out of my sight! i never want to see you again!”

#rp meme #sentence starters #dialogue prompt #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts

[deadlymistletoe]

Unrequited

Pairing: Thranduil x F!Reader

Request: Anonymous asked: If you're requests are open could you write something angsty with thranduil where reader is an elf in his kingdom but they've been friends for a long time and she loves him but never told him cuz she values thier friendship and thinks shes unworthy of him and she's starting to get sick and poisoned from holding the feelings in and he's getting really concerned thinking she might be dying 

A/N: Thank you so much for giving me my first request! I hope I did your idea justice! Sorry it took so long, I wrote most of it before getting writer's block and taking a break before going back to heavily edit it and changing quite a few paragraphs.

Genre: Angst/Romance

Description: Over the years you’d managed to fall in love with your childhood friend, and kept your feelings hidden, terrified of ruining your friendship, but now years of hiding your feelings are catching up to you, making you unwell.

Warnings: None?

Word count: 1408

You had always been close to Thranduil, since birth, practically. Your mother, a trusted elleth who dealt with the important archives in the palace library, had helped tutor Thrandiuil in subjects such as history, and geography at his mother’s request. And seeing as you were too young to be left to your own devices, and your mother already taught you, you became a class of two with the Greenwood Prince. 

It was safe to say not many others could say they’d been as close to the Prince as you were. And they definitely couldn’t say they knew him as well as you. 

As years passed and you got older, you and Thranduil only got closer. You snuck out together, you hid from your parents together, you laughed and played together. You cried together. 

You couldn’t say exactly when it was that your feelings for the Prince changed. Maybe it was when he made you a picnic to have on the balcony to cheer you up after some of the other young elves played a prank on you. Or maybe it was when he held you when you cried at the news of your mother’s death. Maybe it was when he spoke so eagerly on what he’d learnt on his trip to Lorien and you could only focus on the way his eyes lit up.

Maybe it was everything together. The only thing you knew was that you were steadily falling for the Prince.

But after a night spent lying awake, mulling it over, you realized that Thranduil could never know of your feelings.

Thranduil had only ever thought of you as a friend and you had no intentions of ruining that friendship. Even if he did feel the same, there was too much of a risk that it wouldn’t work out and your relationship would never be the same again.

Besides, Thranduil needed someone worthy of him, who could rule beside him when the time came - not an archivist who’d never dealt with politics in her life - not someone like you.

So you buried your feelings as you continued your mother’s work in the library, drawing away from Thranduil ever so slightly.

By the time Thranduil had been crowned King after his fathers death, (a very hard time in which you’d spent hours holding the devastated blond - even more so after his mother left to sail not long after, only waiting long enough to see Orpher laid to rest in the garden and Thranduil take the crown) you’d mastered hiding your feelings, and as the days grew darker and Greenwood slowly transformed into Mirkwood you continued to hide them. 

And it was hard.

And as the days grew colder you could feel the years of holding yourself back, attempting to force yourself not to love him, catching up to you.

You tried to ignore it, pulling away from Thranduil, burying yourself in work, and brushing off any concerns your fellow elves may have with a breezy answer of how the cold must be affecting you.

It was a flimsy excuse, and you knew it. After all, elfs didn’t get sick from the cold like humans did. But it seemed to do the trick for a while at least.

Over the next month, you ignored the way your heart ached as you slowly felt yourself deteriorating. You ate less, forced smiles when you had to, cried yourself to sleep when no one was around to see. 

Your glow was fading.

And Thranduil knew it too. After all, despite the way you’d seemed to pull away from him over the past few years, he was still your best friend, and he could tell that you were hurting, and ill, and who knows what else.

At first, he’d tried to casually bring the topic of you up with your friends, and it eventually came back to him that you were saying it was because of the cold.

The cold didn't affect elves. But other things could… An unusual panic seemed to take over him as his mind ran over the few illnesses that could affect elves. What if you were dying? Was that why you were pulling away from him? You didn’t want him to know?

And so Thranduil left his study with a stubborn resolve to find out exactly what was happening to you.

You looked up from the book you had sitting open in front of you as you stared into space when the library door was opened with enough force that it banged off the wall behind it and the reason your heart was aching stood in front of you, looking far from impressed.

Thranduil was clearly far from happy as he scanned you up and down. His eyes were cold but you could see the concern, a bit of anger and something else you couldn’t make out mixed in.

You furrowed your brows as he stood there in silence. You had to say something, but you couldn’t say his name. It was too hard to be so informal when you weren’t being informal in the way your heart wanted.

“My lord?”

That did it.

“Don’t call me that!” The blond seemed pained by the title as he rebuked you. “After all this time, you're going to start calling me ‘My lord?’”

You didn’t get a chance to say anything as he plowed on. “I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t know why you're pulling away from me, or why you look like you're about to pass out and not wake up!”

You blinked as Thranduil listed off things you’d thought you’d been able to keep hidden from him. Your attention went back to the king as he finished his torrent of words with a sentence, a word, that snapped you out of your daze. “But I need to know, you need to tell me, because I'm your friend, and you’re supposed to be able to come to me when you’re not okay.”

You let your book fall to the floor as you stood up, an unusual display of violence towards a book on your half, and tried to blink back the tears that had begun to push forward. 

Unbeknownst to Thranduil, he had just put your problem into words, but it was too late to leave and pretend his words hadn’t just unintentionally broken your heart into pieces.

Suddenly you didn’t care if he knew. You didn’t care if the whole world knew. After all, he was the one who had said you needed to tell him.

Your heart pushed the rational part of your mind aside as your emotions reared up, ready to make you say words you might live to regret.

You couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, tears finally falling as you finally spoke of your problems to the one who had unintentionally caused them.

“Well that’s just it, isn’t it? I’m your friend, and that’s all I ever will be, although I'd wager not at all after this, when my heart yearns for more, and has done so for longer than you can imagine!”

You ignored the blonde’s shocked expression as the words kept tumbling out.

“You are my problem! You who could never love me the way I love you!”

You broke off as your brain finally caught up to what you were saying, tears still falling from your eyes.

You let out a sob as you realized you’d done what you’d feared, ruining your friendship forever and pushed past Thranduil, who was still frozen in shock at your outburst, and made for the door, fully prepared to gather you things and leave, when a firm hand wrapped around your arm, stopping you from leaving the room.

You shut your eyes in shame as you felt him turn you to face him, a gentle hand lifting your chin, you his breath brushing against your ear as he spoke in a low voice. “My dear Y/N, you have never been more wrong in your life.”

And his lips pressed firmly against yours, one hand still holding your chin, the other on your arm.

And as you melted into the kiss, your mind finally catching up with what was happening, a final tear, this time of relief and happiness fell.

What tomorrow would bring, it didn’t matter. You were content in the moment, and things could only get better with Thranduil by your side, not only as a friend, but as a lover.

#thranduil x reader #thranduil imagine #the hobbit #thranduil #the hobbit x reader #female reader #imagines #my writing

[lowkeychenle]

You're Not Sorry [ZCL]

Content Warnings: This fic deals with infidelity and is very angsty. Please read with caution if infidelity can be a trigger for you.

Description: You and Chenle broke up two weeks ago. The first time he calls you at 3am, you ignore it. Then he calls again. You answer, and you go to him knowing there's nothing he could do to fix what he's broken.

Genre: Angst. All angst. Help. (but also I pride myself on my angst so maybe read it anyway???)

Word Count: 2,218

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (mentions of Mark at the end, mentions of the Dreamies throughout)

Juliet's Masterlist | Ask Me Anything/Requests

You haven’t heard from Chenle in two weeks. At first, you didn’t want to. Not after everything that happened and what he did. You were perfectly fine with never speaking to him again, but now that he’s been silent, you crave his presence even when you shouldn’t.

At the exact end of week two, your vibrating phone wakes you up at three in the morning. Rubbing your eyes, you sit up in bed and grab it. Chenle’s name sits in big letters on your screen, and at first, you’re not sure what to do. Your muscle memory demands you answer him, because it’s obviously important if he’s calling you at 3am, but you don’t want to go down the wrong path. You don’t want to risk forgiving him simply because you’re sad, hurt, and lonely.

Your palms sweat and your heart races as you continue to stare. When it fades to black again, you finally feel like you can breathe. You exhale shakily, suddenly wide awake at the intrusion of him. At that moment, you decide that you’ll answer if he calls a second time. If he does, it must be important. He could be in danger somewhere.

A minute passes. Two. You think you’re in the clear. It was another lame attempt to get you to talk to him, clearly. None of that matters. You can’t trust him anymore, no matter how much he insists he made a mistake.

3:03am comes around and your phone vibrates again. You grab it faster than you care to admit.

“What?” you snap.

He doesn’t say anything yet. You hear him breathing shakily, but that’s it.

“If you don’t tell me why you’re calling, I’m hanging up.”

“Please don’t.” His voice is fragile, thick. “Please.”

You don’t know where he’s at, but you can imagine. You imagine him in his bed, blinking past tears, staring at his ceiling as he yearns to have you next to him. But you didn’t ruin that image—he did. All of this is his fault.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“Did you need something?” you hiss, pushing the words past the lump in your throat. “Or did you call to make things harder for everyone?”

“Yeah,” he inhales sharply. “I…something happened with the car, and I’m just sitting on the side of the road. The managers don’t know I left, and if I call them, I’ll get in so much trouble—”

“Are you just now learning that your actions have consequences, Chenle?” You don’t mean to sound so harsh, because at the end of the day, you still love him. You love him way more than you should and way more than you want to.

“(Y/N), please.” He pauses.

“What about the boys?”

“You know why I can’t call them.”

Oh, right. They’re even more pissed at him than you are.

“It’s okay if you hate me,” he mutters. “It really is. I don’t blame you, but I need you. Don’t make me do this alone.”

Your heart twists so violently in your chest, you swear you feel a rib crack. Chenle, if nothing else, has always been good at making you feel. Whether it’s happiness, heartbreak, or hurt, you feel it.

“Damn it.” You shake your head, throwing your comforter off your lap. “Send me your location. I’ll come get you.”

“Thank you.” The relief in his voice sends another pang through you.

“Don’t get used to it. And don’t you dare ever do something stupid that I have to save you from again. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah. I won’t.”

You hang up on him while cursing under your breath. After all of this, you’re still going to help him?

Of course, you are.

He’s Chenle, and you’re you. Forever intertwined even when it breaks you into pieces to realize that. Soon enough, all that will be left is the one part of you attached to him—your heart. The rest of you will break down, disappear, but somehow, he’ll have your heart in his hand, squeezing it much too tightly for comfort.

Your phone vibrates once to indicate he sent you his location, and you pull on a pair of sweatpants and run a brush through your hair. Before you know it, you’re driving to the literal middle of nowhere at 3:30am to pick up your ex-boyfriend.

You see the familiar black SUV, the one with the blacked out windows and special license plate, and you park your car behind it. Taking one last deep breath, you stare as he climbs out of the driver’s seat.

Even though it’s only truly been a couple weeks, it seems as if it’s been years. Decades. And him looking exactly the same as the man you once knew has you shaking. You’re not sure what to say to him when he sits down in your passenger seat, but his beautiful brown gaze meets yours.

The lights are dim, but it’s enough to see the redness on his cheeks, in his eyes, at the tip of his nose. His jaw quivers at the sight of you, but that’s when the lights fade to black. The new moon isn’t even enough to give him a glimpse of you. Blue LEDs are all that’s left—the quiet glow bouncing off his skin and making him realer. He’s sitting right in front of you, a longing look on his face as if he’s not the one who fucked everything up in the first place.

“What the hell are you doing out at 3 in the morning?” you ask him, driving off.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He shrugs, hands fidgeting in his lap.

You spend the majority of the ride in complete silence. The radio is off, and all you hear is him trying to breathe normally. You’re not much better, either. You blink back tears, refusing to let him see how upset you are by all of this. If he loved you, he never would’ve done it in the first place. You have to remember that.

It’s not until you pull into his driveway that he speaks.

“They’re so mad at me.” He looks straight forward, neither of you brave enough to initiate eye contact.

“They should be. Deserve to be, actually. You didn’t just hurt me, you know.” You grip the steering wheel until your knuckles pale, wishing he would get out and go inside.

“I’m mad at them, too.” He wets his lips.

“You’re mad at them for what?” You scoff, anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “Mad because they caught you in the first place? Or mad because they all agreed to tell me?”

“It’s not any of their business.”

“Oh, right, so you’d never tell me. You’d let me continue to love you when you couldn’t be bothered to give me the same?” You’re not sure where your confidence is coming from. This is Chenle—the man you love, and someone you never imagined would put you in a situation like this.

“It was a mistake—”

“It doesn’t matter. It happened. You fucked up. They’re the best people, you know that? You’re pissed because all six of them are better than you. Because none of them would’ve ever stooped to the level you went. And because you hate the idea that someone else is able to comfort me. What did you expect? That they would comfort you?” Your grip tightens somehow, and you finally look at him.

He’s in tears. The liquid running down his cheeks reflects the luminescent blue, and it’s almost enough to make you feel bad for him.

“It wasn’t even once, either. It was twice. You did it twice.” You let out a throaty laugh, knowing this is the furthest thing from funny.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to lose you, ever. We’re supposed to get married and have cute babies that look like you, and—”

“We don’t get to do those things anymore,” you snap, shaking your head.

“Do you hate me?” he whispers. “You should, but I can’t handle the thought of that.”

“Hate you.” You drop your head back on the seat. “I wish I could. I wish I could stop loving you because it hurts so fucking bad. You threw away everything, and for what?”

“I can do better.”

“You don’t get the opportunity.”

“Please. I know I can do this.” His eyes widen and his eyebrows furrow, truly pleading.

“Staying faithful shouldn’t be hard, Chenle.”

“I love you.” His voice doesn’t break. It shatters. “Baby, please.”

“If you love me, you’ll respect my decision. You’ll just leave.” You close your eyes, and a tear runs down your cheek.

He, instinctively, you assume, reaches up and swipes his thumb across your skin. “Life wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Consequences,” you repeat. “Your actions have consequences.”

Regardless of what you should or shouldn’t do, you lean into his touch. Into the warmth his skin provides that you’re scared you’ll never feel from someone else ever again.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did, and you shouldn’t either. But please know I love you. I always have, and I always will.”

“Chenle,” you murmur.

“Yes?”

“Don’t call me anymore.” You gulp. “I won’t answer.”

You see the hurt play out on his face, but you know it’s only a fraction of what he put you through.

When he opens the door, the frigid air replaces him. A shiver runs through you, but you’re not sure if it’s from the cold or from the way it feels like your heart and soul are being ripped to shreds for a second time.

You thought he was the one. You thought he was perfect for you. Perfect in general.

You thought you didn’t deserve him, and it’s a damn shame that it took until now for you to realize it’s the other way around.

He stands in the driveway, illuminated by your headlights until you’re pulling away and driving off down the street. You watch him through your rearview mirror, holding your breath as he gets smaller and smaller.

As soon as he’s gone from your sight, a sob cracks open your chest. You scream and cry for all the things you lost, and you don’t even know where to go from here. You’re barely a mile away from Chenle’s when your phone starts ringing again.

Your chest still shakes from the pain, but you answer Mark’s call.

“Yeah?” You sniffle, aggressively wiping your eyes.

“What’s going on?” he asks quickly, voice laced with worry. “I swear, I was dead asleep and then I just…I woke up. And then I saw your location at Chenle’s, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”

You take a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m okay. He was stranded and called me for a ride home.”

Mark sighs. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). You should’ve called one of us.”

“I know.” You run your fingers through your hair. “I’ll be fine. I just need to go back to sleep.”

“Do you want to come here?” he offers. “You don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to be.”

You contemplate for a moment. When the boys sat you down to tell you what Chenle had done, Mark was the one who made sure you got home alright. He stayed with you for that one night to make sure Chenle didn’t show up after you broke things off.

“Can I do that?” you whisper, afraid your voice will break if you speak any louder.

“Of course,” he says. You hear him shuffle around in the background, presumably getting out of bed.

“Thank you,” you say, relieved. “It’s literally taking all of my strength not to turn around and go back to him.”

“Doesn’t matter what he thinks, you’re a part of us now, okay? We take care of our own,” Mark replies. “Just get here safe.”

You say your goodbyes and hang up, switching directions to find Mark and Haechan’s apartment. When you park your car in the lot, it takes a few minutes to work up the courage to get out.

And then you’re standing in front of the building, looking up to the fifth floor where you know they’re at. The air is so frigid, you can see your breath clouding around you. It sinks into your skin, into your bones, but for some reason, it’s the first time tonight that you feel you can breathe. As the chill sets in, so does reality. So does the truth.

A man who loves you won’t do the things Chenle did. He wouldn’t be defensive if his friends told you about it, and he certainly wouldn’t be calling you at 3am, crying and begging for help.

You inhale deeply, tasting the freezing cold as if it’s palpable.

It’s not going to be easy. In fact, it’ll probably be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but this was the last straw. You don’t want to be in pain. Or feel unloved. You know you deserve more than that.

You promise yourself at that very moment that you’ll never allow yourself to go back.

You’re going to get over Zhong Chenle, even if it tears you to shreds in the process.

It can’t be worse than what he’s already done.

#chenle #nct dream #nct dream chenle #nct dream imagine #nct dream angst #nct dream chenle angst #zhong chenle #chenle angst #chenle imagine #nct imagines #nct #nct scenarios #chenle scenarios #nct angst

[zayneshottestgal]

11:55 “ only you treat me like an ice cream maker “

you and Zayne are both working late into the night, you’ve eaten dinner a few hours ago and starting to crave something sweet. Looking at the clock its close to midnight but by the sound of Zayne’s rapid typing and stern expression he’s not heading to bed anytime soon. Still you go to ask him a favor.

“zayne ~”

Without looking up or stopping his typing he answers,

“Yes dear? “

He might not be giving you his full attention but his expression has soften and the corners of his mouth are slightly tilted.

“Are you super busy right now? “

“Never too busy for you, but give me 4 more minutes. I have to finish writing up this surgery summary for a patient. “ and as promised after a few minutes Zayne finally turns and gives you his full attention.

“ What is it that you wanted from me my dear?”

“I know its a bit late but could you make me a cup of ice cream? “

He happily sighs “ only you treat me like a personal ice cream maker”

“ well because you truly are only an ice cream maker for me “

He doesn’t argue with that

“ do you ever make the children in the hospital ice cream?”

“ When they get discharged and if they ask and it wont put their health at risk,then yes. Yes I do.”

“I’m sure they really appreciate it Doctor Zayne”

He only hums in response

“It’s getting late, are you almost done with your research? “

“Not yet I have a little more to do but I should be done soon, maybe in the next hour. “

“I’ll try to wrap up around that time as well. Rest is very important to your health”

“it’s important to yours too zayne, plus you know I can’t sleep without you by my side. “

“I know my love” he says as he gently kisses your temple .

You hear a bing come from your computer. “ that must be the file I was waiting on”

you quickly sit back at the desk and read through it

“ here you are my love” zayne gently says as he places your favorite ice cream on the space next to you. Before he can walk away you quickly pull him down to give him a kiss on the cheek. a silent thank you

He then goes back to his laptop to finish his report with a small smile on his face.

AN: I love him so muchhhhhhhhh

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace fanfic #love and deepspace ffs

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲

𝟭. being consistent in journaling ( 🪻 )

i have recently started journaling more consistently and would like to maintain this line. i tried several times to start, failing miserably, because i couldn't find a method that would keep me motivated for a long time. then i purchased the famous five minutes gratitude journal, which is much easier to keep, and which i manage to update almost every day because by simply having to answer the pre-set questions my brain doesn't experience it as a commitment, unlike writing a diary page. alongside the fmj i have another diary with blank pages that i use as a proper diary, writing my reflections, talking about my day, complaining about negative things and stuff like that. i must say that it's therapeutic. i hope this is the right time i can maintain consistency in writing.

𝟮. having a more balanced diet ( 🍋‍🟩 )

i admit i've been eating like shit lately, a lot of sweets and processed foods alternated with periods of fasting due to guilt with the excuse of not having enough time to cook among the thousand things to do. i want to seriously commit to investing some of my time each week into preparing healthy, homemade meals (i could share some recipes here if you want, lmk) that keep me energized and don't ruin my hard work at the gym by adding empty calories to my diet.

𝟯. being consistent in the gym ( 🍄 )

and then obviously going to the gym at least 3 times a week, not really due to a matter of weight/aesthetics, but to cultivate discipline and focus. i believe that physically venting stress is the best and healthiest way to handle the crushing weight of life lately. sometimes i simply need to unload my energy without throwing a fit and risking venting it on someone who has nothing to do with it.

𝟰. reading at least 10 pages per day ( 📚 )

i love reading. i love reading madly, but i also know that i often find a thousand excuses not to do it. my brain fried by social media and zombie scrolling doesn't like the idea of concentrating on printed pages at all and i always put off reading all those books placed on my shelf gathering dust. i haven't read a book in months, so the time has come to break this bad habit and take back my greatest passion. i won't even mention all the benefits of reading, because only one book can give you so much in such a short time.

𝟱. sleep at least 8 hours ( ☕ )

i think my lack of sleep has a psychological component, but i'm no expert so what i say may not actually make any sense. i sleep little, much less than i need, when i was in high school i finished studying very late at night (past 3am) every day because i was so dependent on academic validation that the idea of getting a slightly lower grade than my usual could make me throw up. the thing is, i always delay going to sleep, even though my body is begging me to do so, and i think it's due to an inherent fear that the next day i'll have to go through it all over again. consequently in the morning i'm a wreck and i have to drag myself out of bed, being 30% as productive as i actually could be. i think it's time to work on my sleep schedule much more seriously, i think it could boost my health a lot.

𝟲. spend 15min in the sun every day ( ☀️ )

as a woman i know how important it is to be in the sun to produce vitamin D, unfortunately for me i'm some kind of goblin vampire who can't stay in the sun for more than five minutes without getting sunburned – on top of that my eyes start to water when the light too strong. i'll arm myself with sunscreen and give my body what it needs, hoping i won't get arthritis in my forties.

let me know in the comments what are YOU planning to improve in the near future <3

#academia #college #education #note taking #school #student #study aesthetic #study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #study notes #study tips #studyblr #studyinspo #studyspo #university life #university student #university #working on myself #self improvement #self care #self love

[paracosmic-murdock]

Tell me what are my words worth ; Benedict Bridgerton x Reader

Chapter 22: "Une dame fait ce qu’une dame doit"

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: It has been two years since your secret was exposed and you had to leave London. Two years with deep buried misery and in which you missed everything you used to have. However, neglect, novelties, and letters made sure to give you more than one reason to return to claim someone who is as rightfully yours as your estate and your people: Benedict Bridgerton.

Warnings/tags: idiots in love, eventual smut, mutual pining, (kinda???) enemies (fake, this is just pride) to lovers (surely), bisexual benedict bridgerton, feminist themes, historical inaccuracy (for the sake of the plot), inspired by mulan (1998), song: the lakes (taylor swift), other tags to be added

Chapter summary: Your return has brought misfortune to whoever had it coming, and you were far from done. But one thing was for sure: you might had already gotten your divine punishment, but everyone else would too as long as you live to ensure it.

Word count: 1.5K

❁ Series masterlist

❁ mila's paracosm (main masterlist)

The dinner was tense enough for Gregory and Hyacinth to be worried.

They made questions nobody dared to answer, and Anthony tried his best to distract the family and focus on a much more important matter: your wedding.

While neither Eloise nor Colin were present at the dinner, you weren't affected by their absence. Or at least that's what you were trying to tell yourself.

You knew Eloise was mad at you but were ignorant of Colin's thoughts. He loves Penelope now, so there must be a conflict between love and duty.

And Eloise was mad, but you were madder.

You should feel guilty, and you should believe you went too far after Anthony's radical decision; but you were not. Not when your life was still at risk, and you still had people trying to hurt you.

But you weren't scared of her.

What else could she say now that would hurt you more than she already did? Nothing at all.

So now you, Benedict, and Lady Bridgerton were at the Queen's palace with news.

“I take this particular set of people visiting me altogether as a good sign.” She gave you a knowing look.

You smiled widely. “Indeed, Your Majesty.”

“We came to extend our invitation to our engagement ball,” Benedict said. “We will send the invitation to the wedding as soon as they are ready, Your Majesty.”

“We would be honored to have you,” Lady Bridgerton added. “You are also welcome to stay at the Castle with the family.”

“I shall make sure you get the second best room.”

The Queen chortled at your last comment. “My child, I would be enchanted to accompany you on a day as special as your wedding and your engagement ball! Give Brimsley all the information and count on me being there.”

“We would not be here today without your help and blessing,” you added. “So I wanted to make sure you were the very first person outside of the family and the Council of Burgundy to know about the wedding.”

She gave you an approving smile. “And for that, I am beyond honored, Your Grace.”

After exchanging your farewells, the three of you left the Palace.

“That was certainly fruitful,” Lady Bridgerton noted. “She even addressed you like one would a duchess.”

“I did not know you two were friends!”

You scoffed. “Friends? We are like family!” you exaggerated jokingly. “I do not know, my heart. She gave me her support and her blessing. The Queen was quite moved with my story, so I can only assume that is the reason.”

“That is right,” Lady Bridgerton added. “Don't you think we should announce your engagement at the ball tomorrow?”

“I believe that is proper. Is it not, my heart?”

“It sure is,” you nodded. “I must visit the modiste right after so she can make my wedding gown as I promised her.”

“Madame Delacroix?” Benedict questioned.

“In the flesh.” You confirmed.

He swallowed hard at the thought of his ex lover making his bride's wedding gown, but figured a better moment to inform you of his previous rendez-vous would come soon enough.

“I shall join you, dearest.”

Benedict cleared his throat. “We will make a stop at the Academy before getting home. I have been absent far too long.”

“It is just fine.” you agreed. “Your mother and I were thinking of visiting Lady Danbury before teatime.”

He nodded.

The way to the Academy was longer than you remembered. You laid your head on Benedict's shoulder and held hands under his mother's loving glance.

“We have arrived,” Benedict announced. “Goodbye, Mother; goodbye, my heart” He gave you a quick kiss on your lips, and you gladly corresponded.

“Benedict Bridgerton, you stop that!” Lady Bridgerton scolded him and hit his knee in apprehension.

“I was just saying goodbye to my future wife!” He defended himself and ran out of the carriage hiding his laughter. You smirked, too.

“You cannot let anybody see you two doing these kinds of things, my dear,” she advised. “I understand the passion shared between a pair who love each other as much as you and my son do. I have seen it in Daphne and Anthony, too. I experienced it with Edmund…, but you must be careful. Society isn't approving of this, and it could lead to rumors none of us want out there.”

“I understand, my Lady,” you replied. “Shall we go to the modiste now?”

She nodded. “Of course, dearest.”

“I suppose les rumeurs were true.” Madame Delacroix commented. “You and Mr. Bridgerton are engaged to be married.”

You smiled. “I told you firsthand. I said it myself.”

“You were rather cunning, were you not?”

“A lady does what a lady must.” you replied.

“Was your departure to France a carefully planned scheme, too?”

You clicked your tongue. “Is that French persona of yours a scheme as well?”

“What is it that you want, my Lady?” she inquired, knowing that your knowledge was enough to ruin her. That nothing was worth the detriment of her reputation.

“I know that Penelope Featherington is Lady Whistledown, and I know you do, too,” you said. “And, as you know quite well, she has exposed me as a result of that tantrum of hers… That slowed my plans and ruined everything I had worked for for my entire life. I was not interested in marrying at the beginning, though I knew that the only way to recover what is mine, was to marry a nobleman. The first time my eyes encountered Benedict's, I knew my aversion to men and a loving marriage was gone and buried. I decided that he was the gentleman I wanted for myself, and I would not have let anyone ruin it for me. Penelope Featherington did, completely unprompted.”

“I understand,” She looked at you as she measured your bosom. “What is it that I have to do?”

“Mere falsehoods were enough to get rid of Miss Prince. A sudden departure and a letter were enough to recover Mr. Bridgerton's affections,” you noted. “Now, once you make sure that Lady Featherington finds out that her daughter, Miss Penelope, is Lady Whistledown, she will have lost her family's slight presence in her life. I, also, am aware that you know where Lady Whistledown has her issues printed, do you not?”

Madame Delacroix nodded. You gave her a paper with something written on it. “You give them this in her name as soon as Lady Featherington learns about Penelope's activities.”

“What will happen if I do not do it?” she asked.

“If you inform Penelope, I guarantee you I will find out; if you do not go along with my plan, I shall find out, too,” you began. “If I do not see this issue published promptly, I myself will make sure to have everyone find out you are not French at all, that all is a ruse.” you warned. “However, if you do, I shall make sure for everyone throughout Europe hears your name and admires your designing skills.”

“I see.”

“I believe that an opportunity like this is more than enough to convince you.”

She smiled nervously, knowing you were right. It is a sacrifice she was certainly willing to make.

Just like you said, a lady does what a lady must. It applied to her as well.

Lady Bridgerton returned to the room. “I am certain the ballgowns will be absolutely perfect.”

“I could never doubt a French woman's judgment when it comes to haute couture,” you told her. “I trust her more than enough to have her design my wedding dress. My gown for the Engagement Ball as well.”

“That sounds most wonderful.” she agreed.

“Even my cousin, the King of France, will be there!” you exclaimed. “Queen Charlotte is my guest of honor, not to mention the Princess of Monaco and my dearest friends from Belgium.”

The faux française smiled brightly. “I am most pleased to hear that.”

“You would be much more pleased to hear them compliment your designs to your face.” you promised, winking at her.

Madame Delacroix nodded.

The decision was made.

Dearest gentle reader,

It is an enormous shame to inform you I was cruelly misinformed and had this all reach your eyes. With this, I mean Lady Y/N of Burgundy's rumor.

I am, unfortunately, not referring to her engagement to Mr. Bridgerton, no. I am referring to her alleged secret, to her purpose in Mayfair and place in the Royal Academy of Art.

Beloved reader, it is the first time a thing as such has occurred to me. Therefore, I was obliged to clear the situation, for her life could be thoroughly affected by this grotesque lie. The future duchess of Burgundy has done nothing but gracing us with her presence in London.

There certainly is a resentful force that planted this rumor like poison ivy seeds. But, who could it be? An old acquaintance of the Bridgerton's? A maid looking to marry into this widely known family? Perchance an envious soul? I am hopeful you will stay true to me in order to find out.

Walls talk, the breeze informs… Surely the truth will come out sooner or later, and I shall make sure, dear reader, that you find out first-hand.

Sincerely yours,

Lady Whistledown.

taglist: @yentroucnagol @crimsonincursive @czarinera @uwumd @omgnctchina

#benedict bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x you #bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

[black-is-beautiful18]

The Unexpected Ch2- Explanations and Surprise Visits

K’uk’ulkan x Black reader

A/N: As promised here is part 2 of The Unexpected ❤️❤️❤️

———————————————-

Returning to the palace caused my nervousness to return in full force. This was supposed to be a simple meeting. Get updates, or even requests, and relay them to Shuri, M’Baku, and the council. Not…this. How do I even explain this when it came out of thin air? Or when he’s who he is?

I walk into the lab to see that Shuri is definitely still here. Some interns linger around doing different projects, but other than that the lab is actually quite empty. I’d prefer to tell her in private but this is better than nothing. Taking a deep breath I walk over to her table and sit down.

“How did it go?” She doesn’t look up and I roll my eyes.

“Alright I suppose.”

She glances up at me but continues working.” You suppose? Where’s Aneka and Nia?” I shrug.” I told them I could take it from here.” That makes her stop and straighten up.

“Y/N.”

“Shuri.”

I give her an innocent smile as she gives me an unimpressed look. Alright, maybe lying to someone who you’ve grown up with and who can definitely tell when you’re lying or hiding something isn’t the smartest thing.

“You did meet with Namor, yes?”

“Yes, I did. Very interesting person when he’s not on a rampage or trying to kill anyone. He also gave me this.” I mutter placing the conch shell the god-king gave me on the table and clearly she is just noticing it.

Shuri looks at it for a moment before asking the interns and scientists that remain to give us some privacy. I wish someone would make an objection. Say that they can’t leave without finishing some theory or important project, but it never happens. All they say is ‘Yes princess’ before filing out of the lab leaving us alone.

“Usisi omncinci...” I wince and sigh.

“You’re going to get upset and I don’t like seeing you upset.” I murmur, refusing to meet her eye.

She comes to my side of the table and sits across from me turning my chair so that I’m facing her. Her face is serious yet encouraging. However, I can see the wary look in her eye. She’s not going to like this.

“He was…fine. Considering everything that’s happened. Charming even, but he had the strangest request.” Looking away from her I try to think of the best way to say this. Shuri is being very patient though and that helps a little. Best to just get it out.

I take her hands in mine. “ Apparently he knows about my abilities, finds me interesting, and wishes to court me.”

Shuri says nothing and I look at her cautiously. She wears no expression and I know I have to keep going.

“I didn’t give him an answer, I mean of course I didn’t. I just met him today. He has given me a week to consider things, but something tells me that he’s going to be persistent.”

Pulling away from me, Shuri stands.” I forbid it.”

“Shuri. Listen to me-“

“No. As your older sister I will not allow it.” She’s practically shaking with anger and I frown.” You’re only 3 months older than me, Shuri. I know how this sounds and believe me, I’m most likely going to say no. However, K’uk’ulkan said some things that have me thinking.”

Shuri says nothing and I keep talking before she can say something else.

“There are doubts. Some of them are the same ones that came to be when he first appeared. Others are birthed from his actions. All are valid, but if this alliance is going to work then we must have trust. We must believe in each other.” I pick up the shell and turn it in my hands, feeling how smooth it is.” There is far too much tension right now, and I fear that should you, or the elders, have some sort of disagreement with him then this whole thing will go up in flames. We cannot risk that happening.”

“You said you were going to say no.”

“I said most likely. I have a week to decide and I’m not going to speak prematurely.”

This clearly does nothing to reassure Shuri or even calm her down but she now wears that face she makes when she doesn’t like what she hears but knows it to be the truth. That gives me hope.

“You don’t have to be happy about this. I doubt anyone is going to be happy about it, but remember that at the moment it is simply a proposal. An idea. My decision comes at the end of the week.”

Exasperated, Shuri throws her hands in the air. “It’s archaic, Y/N! Who marries to form alliances anymore?!

“Do you have another option? I know I don’t.”

We know what the god-king of Talokan wants. He wants the knowledge of his kingdom and people to be kept secret. Protection and aid from Wakanda should they need it was also negotiated. Tensions are still too high though. Of course they would after Wakanda being flooded, but maybe this could be a good distraction for everyone. At least momentarily…

“This is ridiculous. We can look for alternatives. Treaties.” Shuri suggests as she puts on her necklace.

“Treaties are nice, but they are just as easy to break.”

Shuri pauses and raises an eyebrow. “You sound like you want to marry him.”

My eyes widen and I scoff.” Shuri! I-I’m being realistic!”

“Mhm. Let’s just go before the elders send the Dora after us. Or M’Baku comes himself.”

She grimaces and I laugh glad for the opportunity to change the subject.

“You still don’t want him in your lab?”

We make our way out of the lab and she chuckles.” Absolutely not. He’s still not used to technology and I don’t need him knocking anything over with his Jabari might.”

“Well don’t be too hard on him. I will make you apologize.”

With a roll of her eyes Shuri pulls me close and I simply smile. This isn’t going to be easy but I know regardless of my decision she will be the one I can count on the most.

————————

To say that the elders were shocked is an understatement. Once the meeting began and the news was broken to the council all hell broke loose. Everyone was shouting over each other and continued to do so even after M’Baku called for order. It took Ayo and the Dora to get control of the situation fully.

“First he comes here unannounced, demands we take his side, floods Wakanda, and kills our queen! You mean to tell me he now wants a bride?!” The elder of the Mining tribe, Zawavari, demands having yet to take her seat.

“What right does he have to ask for such a thing?” That comes from Amahle, the Merchant tribe elder. While she does have a point, things such as this are delicate and should be handled that way.

Shuri steps forward knowing her sister would rather hide away in her room than be under scrutiny of the elders.

“He does have the right to make requests and suggestions. Personally, I don’t agree with it, but I don’t think we have much of a say in the matter either. We’ve seen what he is capable of when he doesn’t get what he wants.” She looks to Y/N. “The best we can do is offer our support.”

That silences everyone. Namor has definitely made a lasting impression on those here.

Stepping forward, Y/N clears her throat.

“This is very sudden. Believe me, I know. Right now I’m not set on accepting his offer, but he has given me a week to come up with an answer..” I look around the room.” And you are right. I have no titles nor am I a princess. That isn’t why he has chosen me.” Taking a deep breath, Y/N mentally gives herself a pep talk.” I’m sure most of you have heard of my…interesting story, and the rumors. How I was found floating in a basket in the river and that my birth mother was a water spirit…”

“Yes. When I went to meet with Namor he said that he saw me when I was rescuing those who were pulled into the water. That is what has drawn his attention.”

There is more silence and Y/N shifts uncomfortably. Shuri squeezes her arm gently and Y/N sends her a grateful smile. She knows everyone is simply processing this and while Shuri doesn’t exactly believe in anything she can’t see or explain…She’s always been very supportive of her sister/bestie and helping her experiment with her powers.

It’s M’Baku who speaks next. His words finalizing what the young woman already knew.

“Well…We can do nothing except wait for your decision. Having such a union would be beneficial to this alliance, make it stronger, but you will not be forced to do anything that you do not wish to do.”

There are nods and murmurs around the room but Y/N could care less. Getting that over with takes a weight off her shoulders.

———————

After the meeting, which had gone longer than anyone really wanted, Y/N goes to her room. She asked Shuri if she’d like to accompany her but she insisted on returning to her lab to put some finishing touches on her suit.

Y/N reaches her room, promptly kicking her shoes off and sighing.” Thank Bast. Freedom.” She walks to the bathroom quickly taking a shower and getting dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She also makes sure to wash her face and brush her teeth. In her hurry to relax and have some alone time , she doesn’t notice that the doors to the balcony are wide open. Nor does she hear the faint sound of wings over running water.

Feeling refreshed, Y/N enters her room tying her braids back with a silk scarf. She’s so focused on her current task that when she finally does spot the intruder in her room all she can do is stare. In all his glory, and in the middle of her bedroom, stands the king of Talocan holding a box.

“Ufanele ukuba udlala ngam…” She mutters as her jaw drops.

“Hello, in eek'e.” He gives a charming smile that has Y/N’s heart pounding in her chest. There he goes again. Calling her his star…

“K’uk’ulkan…What are you doing here?”

Internally, she winces. She definitely didn’t mean for it to sound rude, she can also hear Queen Mother in the back of her mind scolding her, but judging from the way the god-king pays the question no mind he clearly isn’t offended. Instead, he walks over to her, taking her hand and kissing it gently.

“I come bearing gifts.” His voice is low, sending vibrations through her hand that tickle. His beard doesn’t make it any better. Holding back a squeal, the young woman nods slowly.” That is deeply appreciated my lord, but I haven’t accepted your offer. The week has only just started. If you’re trying to bribe me…”

Raising an eyebrow, the king of the underwater realm laughs. He finds the slight pout on her lips and the furrow of her brow to be quite cute and endearing.

“I assure you, this is no bribe diosa.”

Well by now curiosity has completely taken hold of Y/N. She allows him to lead her to the lounge chair across from her bed. As they sit, K’uk’ulkan makes sure to give Y/N some space so that she’s comfortable and so that they have room to face each other. He finds himself looking over her in awe. She is beautiful even in this…simple attire, but he will have to bring her dresses from Talokan. Reds, blues, and yellows…They’d all look stunning on, and off, her. That will have to wait though. Right now the god-king plans on easing her into this.

Y/N is patient but he’s looking at her as if he wants to worship her and devour her at the same time. Feeling her face growing hot, she clears her throat and squirms slightly.

“What is it that you’ve brought me?” Her voice is soft as she motions to the box in his hands.

As he lifts it, the box shines in the light of the room. It’s made of vibranium and carved with beautiful designs. What catches her eye though as a depiction of a woman with a snake on her head kneeling beneath the moon.

“I had this made after the first time I saw you.”

Her eyes meet his in surprise for a moment before looking back down at the box as he opens it revealing a choker made of golden cowrie shells.

“Oh! How beautiful.” Y/N smiles up at K’uk’ulkan moving closer to him.” This must’ve taken some time to make…Can you help me put it on?” She turns around moving her braids to the side to reveal her neck. Happily moving closer, K’uk’ulkan removes the choker from the box and unclasps it before leaning in close and placing it on her neck. With him so close it’s impossible not to take in his scent. He smells of a fresh ocean breeze which is one of Y/N’s favorite smells. It’s so comforting…

The feeling of a pair of lips on her shoulder startles her but an arm wraps around her waist pulling her back into the broad chest of the king of Talocan.

“Relax.”

Sitting like this, Y/N can feel the vibrations from his chest against her back. Not to mention that his voice has taken on a huskier tone that sends chills down her spine. Staying like this is very tempting and it wouldn’t be a terrible thing as long as they both behaved. That option quickly goes out the window though.

Another kiss is placed on her shoulder and Y/N is close to just taking her shirt so that she can feel the king’s lips everywhere. Something catches her eye though.

“Hey. Your ankle…”

Of course she knows of his battle with Shuri and how she managed to cut off one of his wings. She didn’t think it was like this though. Sitting up and turning to face him she pats his leg lightly.

“Can I see?”

The king narrows his eyes for a moment before lifting his leg allowing Y/N to put it in her lap. Gingerly, she shifts his leg getting a closer look at the wing. There’s nothing left except for a little nub. The skin around the area is a little red but thankfully not swollen. It was cut cleanly too, so it shouldn’t have any trouble growing back. She stands putting his leg down carefully.

“I’ll be right back.”

And with that she’s rushing off to the bathroom gaining a curious look from her guest. What was she up to? Her mind certainly wanders. He’ll have to find a way to keep her focused next time. She soon comes back with a bowel filled with warm water and a towel draped over her arm. Kneeling in front of the god-king, Y/N places the towel over knee and takes his leg once more before taking the bowl and slowly pouring the water over his ankle.

“Buyisela into ethathiweyo.” She whispers the water taking on a soft glow as it pours over the injured wing. A comforting warmth fills his ankle and the feathered serpent is in awe. He stays quiet not wanting to interrupt her…ritual but this only makes him want her more. When the water is all gone she gently dabs at his ankle with the towel humming softly.

“What did you do?”

Looking up at him, Y/N smiles.” That’s for me to know and for you to find out. Your ankle will heal just fine though.”

As she stands there’s a knock at the door that startles her.

“Y/N? I have mango slices.”

Shuri.

“Shit. She actually came up early.” Y/N mutters in surprise as she quickly puts the bowl back in the bathroom and throws the towel in the clothes basket. When she comes back the doors to the balcony are closed and K’uk’ulkan is gone. A fact that disappoints her but that feeling soon disappears when Shuri peeks her head inside the room.

“Everything ok in here?”

“Sorry about that. I was in the bathroom.”

Smiling, Shuri comes into the room with a big bowl of mango slices that makes Y/N laugh. Mango slices have always been a favorite of theirs.

“Where’d you get that?” Shuri moves closer to her looking at the choker.

Damn it. She forgot to take it off.

“Oh I got it from the market. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Taking the bowl from her sister, Y/N climbs into bed and pats the spot next to her before taking off the choker and placing it on her nightstand.

“It’s lovely. The colors match wonderfully with your skin.”

She takes a slice of mango and promptly lays on Y/N who sputters before flicking her in the forehead. Shuri tries to retaliate but with the bowl in the way it’s a bit hard so she opts for sticking her tongue out instead. This is how the rest of the night goes. Teasing each other and watching American movies. Just like old times.

That doesn’t stop Y/N’s mind from wandering. K’uk’ulkan’s wing should be healed by morning at the latest. She doesn’t use magic often but that was worth it. She still isn’t sure about courting or marriage, but she does know that she wants him to trust her. He’s done wrong but at least she’ll have backup no matter what her decision is.

Bast!

How could she forget?

Courting or not, there’s one person who could either make or break whatever is going on between her and K’uk’ulkan…

Her mother.

——————————

Translations: Xhosa:

Usisi omncinci- little sister

Ufanele ukuba udlala ngam- you’ve got to be kidding me

Buyisela into ethathiweyo- give back what has been taken

Yucatec Mayan:

In Eek'e'- my star

Diosa- goddess

———————————

@lunamoonbby , @artaxerxesthegreat , @alexa-33 , @queenshikongo3 , @ant1r3al1ty , @lostpirateinwonderland , @nunya7394 , @louderfortheback, @danika1994, @weepingwitchofthewest , @chaimantis , @jurneesjourney, @stars8melanin, @prettyvintageafternoon

#I forgot the tags 🧍🏾‍♀️ #k’uk’ulkan x reader #black!reader #namor x reader #namor the sub mariner #namor x black reader #k’uk’ulkan x black reader #wakanda forever fanfic #plus size reader #black plus size reader #the unexpected #unique writes

[pommunist]

Hello!

I've been nervously hovering around your blog as you've always been a level source of info.

As of late it seems as though many people don't seem to quite grasp how different US laws can be for POC. The laws weren't made with us in mind, in fact its extremely common for laws to be thrown at us or twisted against us at all fronts when the other effected party is Anglo.

It's very easy to look at laws and assume the country they preside over would respect them entirely. But for POC that's not the case. This place isn't safe for us. It's corrupt In many ways so it's extremely important for us to be extremely careful with every step. Or we are killed. There is no other way to express the type of danger we face simply for being POC.

I am Mexican, I know that it looks bad that Q has been very silent on many fronts. But speaking even an apology could lead to the entirety of this case being blamed on him. All of it. When the people who caused the damages were on the team and not Q himself. What's worse is that if the people who did cause the damage in the first place are Anglo and have gotten their own Lawyers... they can also be let off the hook from their crimes if Q makes apology statements.

I know its awful.

But even if he contacts those effected personally and apologized personally, there is nothing stopping those individuals from speaking online about his apologies and that being used against him. It would make everyone feel better if he genuinely could apologize without risk of letting those bad actors off the hook. But here in the states it's stacked against those who bend at the knee first. Kindness will get you killed. We as POC cannot exist here safely. We just can't.

Its very easy to look at this whole case from an outside view, especially if you've never faced the American legal system. It's even harder to fathom how a country could have laws so clearly lined and yet disregard them simply based on your race. But it's very common here. I've had relatives lose homes, land, businesses, livelihoods, and lives over the laws out here not being kind to us. All it takes is for one Anglo voice and we are once again reminded how we are nothing. Our hands built these buildings, our sweat is in nearly every structures walls and floors. We clean, we cook, we are still regarded as rabble. Our native tongue isn't even seen as something respectable. It's dirty. It recieves glares and snide remarks.

I digress.

I know you can't quite understand how strong your voice is alone in this. Even now I must hide under this anonymous guise because I can't be Mexican in public. I can't speak my truth... so I am reaching out to you, to perhaps held shed some light on all of this.

Your voice is worth more than mine.

Thank you for all the work that you do. Truly.

Hello anon ! First of all I wanna say I’m sorry that I’ll going to write such a short answer when your ask was long and heartfelt. But as I’m neither Mexican nor from the US I don’t have much to add to what you just said. Though I am aware, at least to a certain extent how bad the xenophobia against mexicans can be over there, and I don’t wish for Quackity or anyone else to suffers the consequences of it.

Also don’t even worry about coming here as an anon, I don’t mind and your safety comes first anyway. My voice isn’t worth any more than yours is, I’m just glad if I can help share your thoughts on this situation.

[thenotsoholyspirit]

Holding (Pt 4/5)

Matt Murdock x reader (angst)

(Here for part 1, 2 , 3)

AU: Hey, I know it's been a while since I've posted on this series but writers block has been a real deal for me these past days. Although, I still have a lot of ideas and a whole other series to end so stay tuned 💙 (and yes that includes the Foggy fic :3)

Summary: A conversation in the roof may offer a change in the situation. After all, sometimes all you need is faith.

I've never been quite the best catholic. 

From making a fuss in my baptism, to refuse ever to marry, I was quite the shame in a family of faithful believers. 

“Sometimes you have to believe without seeing” 

I always hated that idea, blind faith. And yet in spite of everything I still accompanied my mother every Sunday to our city's chapel. Soon after I moved out, that routine was still ingrained in me, and despite not having a logical answer to it, I kept going to mass. 

That’s how I met him. The one that would soon become both my salvation and my perdition. The one I was risking it all for in spite of everything. 

“He can’t be that far, please he can’t be that far

As the day progresses, I feel a sense of desperation crawl on me, noticing how the streets get busier and I haven't yet found any clue to His whereabouts.

Not a sight of him close to his old apartment or even old hangout spots.

He had indeed erased every trace he could have left

As I feel the day progress, I sigh. Maybe these extreme circumstances also required extreme decisions. I decide to head down to the Presidential Hotel.

————-——

When I arrive, I immediately notice the multitude of police cars and security guards surrounding the building. It couldn’t be more obvious that someone important was brought to this place

Sneaking up, I try to see if there’s any entry, but it’s obviously closed up to the public.

“Well I may need to broaden my definition of entry then”

As my attention catches  some fire escape stairs attached to a building not far behind, I can’t help but let out a small grin. After spending so much time with him, knowing Matt’s way of thinking had become almost a second nature.

It was probably too early, as I will surely need to wait for him hidden on some rooftop, but to simply think about the vertigo was enough to make my stomach turn.

“C'mon (y/n) remember just have faith.”

I start then to awkwardly climb up the ladder making sure not to startle the whole neighbourhood.

For a moment, I feel comfortable, pacing my steps and taking deep breaths, until I hear the crackling sound of a metal piece falling from the wall.

I gulp

“For God sake I'm a vet not a gymnast”

Yet the top doesn’t seem too far now and the idea of returning was worse. I decide to keep climbing.

Suddenly, I lose my equilibrium, feeling the void as I fall from my back until I feel the grip of a hand on my arm, saving me from a surely fatal fall.

“(Y/n) ?”

I look up, noticing a man dressed completely in black with only a beanie covering his face, and some cords attached to his wrists. He seems genuinely surprised to find me here. 

“Matt”

“I…” I’m short of words as he pulls me into the safety of the rooftop. I fall down the floor deeply breathing, “How did you know I was here”

“Well.. He tries to give me a small smile ,  “You were lucky I could basically hear your heartbeat explode streets away” 

“.. I must sound like a cacophony in your ears… but I’m sure there are also thousands of New-Yorkers being deeply worried at this very moment”

“ I guess.. I just became good picking up yours in particular”

I cannot help but to slightly blush as he tells me this. There is a tense silence now between us, too many things that should be said or should’ve.

“Don’t go” 

My tone is grave, letting him know I know his reasons for coming down here.  He slightly clenches his teeth, as I feel an anger I haven’t seen yet in him.

Something had happened.

Something felt broken

“I need to do it (y/n)” 

His tone was direct. Cold. He turns his back from me towards the Hotel. I imagine him trying to analyze the best way to get in, reading into each heartbeat , each voice, each movement…. But I wasn’t going to give up that easily.

“You aren't saving anyone by doing this..please..” 

Matt immediately snaps, turning again towards me. I was still on the floor and the bare light coming from the light poles made him appear even more intimidating.

“You don’t understand”…

“True… it’s true I don’t, I’m not you… “, I sigh, accepting it, “I’ll never fully understand this vigilante double life you live.. but I do see the man behind it”

I now stand up, letting us face to face as I continue to talk.

“I and see him and care enough about him that I’m not letting him commit a mistake he’ll forever regret” 

I see Matt keep his facade, but I notice the way his hands now slightly tremble holding his billy club. When he talks again, his voice is weaker.

“He has hurt so many people… and I’'m not meant to simply go and enjoy this life after all that has happened”, He takes his beanie off as I now see  his eyes “After hurting so many others... me.”´

I shake my head. I couldn’t lie, or deny the hurt of past decisions, but it didn't mean I could simply let him go.

“I'm not denying that it’s not easy but.. I’m here tonight for a reason… “ 

I look up to him, hoping he could sense the sincerity of my words

“I can’t let you do this.. this city needs its hero.. and well.. I do still need you”

I let these last words settle as I’m now a bit shy. I see Matt is about to reply, when we’re suddenly interrupted by some police sirens demanding civilians to clear up the space. His face drops.

“He can't be here already….”

I’m now a bit confused.

“Who ?”

Matt sighs, he seems tired but tries to explain to me the best he can. 

“I’m not the only one in this city holding a grudge against Fisk..” Matt leans again his attention towards the building “ There is a dangerous man looking for him” 

I notice the way his body tenses up, the same way it has always done when he senses a danger nearby. His grip becomes stronger, his face almost scarily stern, yet the voice he uses to catch my attention seems softer than usual.

“That night I.. I was sure I had lost you forever.. and who could blame you..” He gives me a sad smile, trying his best to hold his emotions. “I had to live with the fact that I had hurt you.. forced you to pull away from me..this loneliness.. it was my crux to bear”

I shake my head at his words, trying to be as direct as I could knowing time was running out.

“Matthew… I love you.. I still do..” I slowly approach him , caressing his cheek with my hand as I clean away some tears  “I just need to be sure you do as well” 

Almost as a reflex, I go grab his arm, feeling my own insecurities resurface as the fear of being abandoned twists my heart. He seems to pick up on this as he pulls me closer. I can feel the breeze on his words.

“ I swear.. “ Me murmurs against my ear, his voice now taking a more protective tone “That I’ll never let go of you again… “

I’m now the one letting my own tears stream down my face 

“You promise ?” 

My voice was so small, barely a whisper , as I use the tone I knew only Matt could ever hear

“I won’t stop even if you never forgive me”

I can’t retain myself any longer.

I dive in, pulling him into the deepest of kisses as I feel my whole body give in. The desire that has already been pleading for him could not no longer keep on waiting. 

Matt seems slightly surprised at the beginning, almost nervous at my reaction, but once he notices my unwillingness to let him go, he puts his hands around my waist our foreheads now touching. I need to hang on to him. 

“I’ve missed it so much” , he murmurs for just a moment, forgetting the world around us. I give him a little smile, slightly curious at his choice of words as he continues, “ I mean the feeling of you… your heartbeat, your smell…you've always been my safest place…I thought I’d never get to sense you from so close again” 

As I’m about to respond, the noise of police sirens shakes us up as we hear  the sound of gunshots down the building. Of course, Matt has more insight as he clenches his teeth and steps back.

“Go,” I look at him with a knowing look “I know you have a job to do”

I come a bit closer for a moment.

“Just promise me you will come back home tonight” 

I keep holding his hand for a second, sensing his flow of thoughts coming against him. He mutters again. 

“All this anger..”

“I know.. but you don't have to be alone anymore Matt” I take deep breaths as I try to send him some peace too, “I’ll be here”

He walks to the edge of the ceiling, pulling his mask back on. I give him a last reassuring look.

“I’ll leave the living room window open.. in case you come in late” , my tone is slightly hesitant “Of course if you want to come by I-“

I notice the corners of his lips curl into a little smirk.

“I will… and don’t worry”, he slightly tosses his head as he smiles, letting me admire his toned collar bone for even just a second., … “I promise I won’t take too long sweetheart” 

Before I can even protest his cocky words, he jumps off the next building, leaving me alone again, but now completely blushing. I may have also missed that pet name and his way of flirting.   

Some things really don't change after all.

#daredevil x reader #matt murdock x reader #marvel x reader #daredevil x reader angst #matt murdock x reader angst

[fatuismooches]

Hello! :)

I found you're works a while back and finally worked up the courage to ask you something.

I love all the scenarios that you create but the Fragile Reader X Dottore works are some of my favourites, and one of them that stuck out to me was the one with that Tsaritsa that acts like a mother to the reader. I like to think that once a month or every so often she shows up to a harbinger meeting to check on their progress with the gnosis/gnoses.

How do you think the other harbingers would react if after a meeting she asked Dottore how Reader is, if they are getting better/worse etc. And if Reader is better how they would react if she asked if they could show up to the next meeting or when would be a good time to see Reader.

Don't feel obliged to reply at once if you have other requests, this just popped into my head and I figured it would be good to ask.

-❄️

Ps. If someone has already used ❄️ I'm sorry. Have a good day :)

Hi ❄️ anon! I'm really glad you like my fics, thank you for the ask ❤️ And YES... i love mother Tsaritsa to fragile reader SO MUCH. Every time she sees Dottore she never fails to ask about you, even if she saw you recently, you're her child fr 🥺 I too think she does that, also to see how her Harbingers are faring and all. She cares about the mission but also them.

Not the Tsaritsa exposing Dottore in front of them 😭😭 She probably does it at the very end of the meeting, when everyone is walking out the doors when all of a sudden she questions him about you. And Dottore just freezes because he did not expect that, and now quite a few of the other Harbingers have stopped in their tracks as to the mention of someone called "[Name]." Particularly Pantalone and Columbina... two people who like to make his life miserable.

Dottore is very careful about others knowing about your existence, he knows that a clone is always with you so you can never get hurt but he is still very guarded when it comes to you. He simply can't risk anything happening to you, with your fragile state. Nor does he want to deal with anyone else pestering you or him. Only Pierro and the Tsaritsa know that you exist for real. Though, he knows you can't stay cooped up in your room all the time, so regular soldiers still see you, but they are sworn to absolute secrecy unless they want to... die a painful death.

But now... it seems that the cover has been blown, but he still tries to save it. He doesn't mean any disrespect to the Archon, though he answers her questions very quickly and dryly. You're doing fine, he says, and that you're always waiting for her. And it's then the Tsaritsa realizes that the other Harbingers are unaware of you... from how Columbina and Pantalone are looming behind him with the most horrible smirks ever and how Dottore is like 😐 The other Harbingers know not to push into the Doctor's affairs of all people, yet they can't help but be a little curious, you must be fairly important if even the Tsaritsa is worried about your wellbeing... They won't directly ask or get near him but they won't complain if they overhear some... things. (Arlecchino and Signora are Columbina's gossip victims and Childe catches wind of it too from Pulcinella 💀)

The Cyro Archon quickly finishes the conversation but the damage has been done lmao, you know the Regrator and Damselette are suddenly finding excuses to visit Dottore's lab to try and find you. Dottore and his clones swat them away everytime, though eventually, everyone finds out about your existence 😭 Dottore is exasperated, but you're just happy to have new friends! Mainly Bina and Pantalone, being best friends with them as fragile reader has been rotting my brain lately 🥰 I like to think they come visit you every now and then too and the clones are hella hostile to them but let them through solely because you're happy talking to them.

#smooches talks #❄️ anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #i am a sucker for adding platonic side relationships in my romantic fics #fragile reader being friends with tsaritsa and some of the other harbingers fulfills my desires