#there has never been anyone who has hurt scott so thoroughly and there's never been anyone scott was so afraid of that he wanted them Gone

[blametheeditor]

A New Year

Run Down: To continue the tradition, a special New Year drabble to kick off 2024, curtesy of Scott

Content Warnings: Cursing, mentions of death, mentions of treating people as lesser than, mentions of fireworks and the fear of fireworks

Happy New Year!

_______________

Scott wanted to see the new year countdown. 

At first, the thought made him jolt, admittedly startled by it. Because he hadn’t wanted to ‘do’ anything for years. He didn’t think too much of it, though. Easily brushed it aside to forget about it. 

Yet it appeared again about a week later. At least this time it wasn’t as random and because he heard someone talking about new year resolutions, but it still made him jump again. Wary of it. 

Yes, he knows he’s paranoid. Just because he has a desire doesn’t mean Afton knows he does. Or anyone for that matter. And this wasn’t something that would automatically warrant punishment. 

...actually, what was he afraid of?

If he was being honest with himself, Afton wouldn’t care. Having Scott stay up until midnight doing reports wasn’t uncommon, not in the slightest. Nor was giving him a task that required going to the restaurants early in the morning despite giving such an assignment the night prior. Therefore if Scott did stay awake, he’d only really be hurting himself. So being worried about what Afton would say or do is out of the question. 

Maybe it’s because of the fact he lives near a giant neighborhood. That’s certainly a reason to not step foot out of his house until every firework has gone off. He can’t light his own in the street, because that would need to be done after the sun set, and give plenty of time for a fountain the size of his house to be lit much too close. Risking his hearing and his sanity. 

But even then, there are parks holding events that are meant to be human and giant friendly. Honestly it pissed Scott off that there are fireworks that can be lit that are giant-sized but extremely human friendly. As in won’t make them go deaf. Not to mention numerous spots for giants to go to light the ones that aren’t. 

That would mean he has to go somewhere, however. Still risk his hearing if he gets back home and some teenager is still going through a mountain of screamers despite it being an hour after midnight. Sit on a patch of grass to watch a large clock slowly tick the seconds down while a giant could easily step beside him and possibly never know he was there in the first place. Watch the firework show that could take who knows how long and still make him wince from the noise because they’ll always boom because that’s just what they do. 

It’d be a hassle, and he’d be alone, and what is there to- 

Well, Scott figured out why he was fighting it. 

So he thoroughly crumpled up the idea before burning it to ashes inside of his mind. Not wanting to think about how, no matter what year it is, he’ll always be right where he was the previous one. Nothing was ever going to change. Why would that be something he celebrates. 

Of course, he forgot about what was different this year. The one they’re still in for a few more days. One that is quite dramatic in reminding him as a shoe steps directly in front of him. 

“Hey, Phone Guy.” 

Scott tilts his head back in order to meet Mike’s smirk tens of feet above him. One he could never find in himself to truly be afraid of despite being unable to stand the thought of being inside a giant’s hand. 

He whacks at the shoe to say hello. “Are you being kept a little longer to cover for the day guard?” 

“No, my ass was waiting for yours,” Mike begins. The giant then kneels down, Scott being treated with the feeling of the sky falling as he takes a few respectful steps back. “Jerber wants to fuck shit up on New Years. Want to goddamn join?” 

If it had been anyone else, Scott would’ve declined. Either assuming it was a prank or knowing something would happen, but this is Mike. The one guard who looked for him in the back rooms. Who appreciated his Godawful tapes rather than despising him for them. 

But while Mike would have no ill-intent, nor Jeremy for that matter, he’s guaranteed not the only one being invited. “Who else is joining?” 

The giant shrugs. “We’re asking every asshole and using Jerber’s puppy eyes to get the bastards to come. But you can fucking stay with me, Phone Guy.” 

He can trust that promise. And this is one of the few giants he trusts with his life. And...maybe he should go to watch the countdown. 

“Count me in.” 

“Hell yeah. Meet us here two goddamn hours before shit explodes.” 

Scott smiles as he shakes his head fondly. Watches the giant stretch back into the air before making his way out the door to head home. Leaving the older man feeling like he made the wrong choice. Because there’s no telling what could happen. 

But he doesn’t text Jeremy plans had changed. Doesn’t think about how he deliberately dressed in warm clothes for the first time that winter as he walks to Freddy Fazbear’s. 

Feels himself tense up when he sees David of all people walking toward the restaurant. Becomes a little less tense when he spots a certain redheaded figure clinging to the top of the business man’s suit pocket. 

“Hi, Scott!” Fritz waves. 

David raises an eyebrow as he searches the ground, eyes widening when he finally spots Scott. “Well look who William finally allowed to have a night off.” 

Surprisingly, the dab doesn’t upset him. Maybe it’s because he’s gotten used to it over the several months since David had been hired. Maybe it’s because Eggs suddenly flings himself at the older man, almost making both of them fall to the ground. 

“Scott, you made it!” The blond then shoots a sneer up at David. “That’s a hundred bucks, Harrison!” 

“I’ll hand it over later.” 

“Sore loser.” 

“Did Eggs win a bet over Scott joining us?” James asks before Scott can snap at both of them. Instead he’s forced to look up over his shoulder at the doctor looking thoroughly amused. 

“Do not encourage them.” 

“I would’ve bet with him, but he didn’t want to share the winning pot.” 

This was a terrible idea. Watching the countdown with Mike and Jeremy is one thing, but having all of the guards join? Especially when James tends to match Eggs’ energy when there isn’t an emergency? David automatically assuming he wouldn’t be joining? 

Scott feels the heat before he sees the hand, but it’s unmistakable. He can’t scream, though, the sound lodged in his throat. He’s too panicked to realize Eggs isn’t with him, set on struggling so he’s let go. 

“Hey, Phone Guy.” 

Just like that he goes limp at Mike’s voice being the one that rumbles through his very core. He’s still terrified wants to tell the younger man to let him go, but he’s no longer fighting for his life. Stares up at blue eyes and a genuine smile. 

“Sorry, asshole, don’t know how to fucking get you up to my shoulder.” 

Scott doesn’t protest as the hand does exactly that, moving toward the giant and where Jeremy sits huddled against the man’s neck, the stuttering guard extending his arms out as fingers carefully maneuver until they’re in place. 

Before the hand can fully retreat, he whacks at the nearest finger as hard as he can, hissing when the giant’s body heat burns his skin without any barrier. “Michael!” 

“I’m sorry, asshole move.” 

“Sc-Sc-Scott,” Jeremy murmurs before he can continue on giving the giant a piece of his mind, forcing him to focus on the kid watching him with worry. “You’re c-c-c-cold.” 

He doesn’t correct the reason on why he’s trembling, not wanting anyone to know just how genuinely terrified he was at being grabbed. Didn’t want them to know his ‘look don’t touch’ rule is due to much more than just demanding respect. 

“I’ll, uh, w-warm up soon,” is all he can say as he moves closer to Jeremy. Needing to ground himself. A bit overwhelmed by the heat surrounding him all because he’s sitting on Mike’s shoulder. 

Scott freezes when he realizes everyone’s watching him, forcing a glare until Mike turns so he can’t see them anymore, cursing under his breath when he feels the footsteps jostling him. “Let’s go, assholes!” 

“Hang on!” David exclaims as he quickly matches Mike’s pace, Scott moving closer to Jeremy as the taller giant looks down at them. “You let the Fucked Up Night Guard pick you up?” 

“No,” Scott immediately responds. “That was the first time he pulled something like that. And the last.” 

“It’s not a right of passage?” James pipes up from what sounds like Mike’s right side. 

“I thought it was,” Eggs agrees. 

“It is not a right of passage!” 

Scott doesn’t care if he sounds or looks like a toddler having a tantrum as he refuses to look anywhere but ahead. Arms crossed and mouth sealed. He will not have them thinking being able to pick him up is some perk that you get once you’ve worked under Afton long enough. 

He does glance up at Mike when the shoulder deliberately shrugs, leaving him falling into Jeremy as the kid squeaks as he falls against the giant’s neck. “Sorry, Phone Guy. That was fucked up, I should’ve asked.” 

Scott hesitates before sighing. “I forgive you, Michael.” 

“So if I-?” 

“No.” 

There’s no more discussion on the subject of picking him up thank God, but despite the rocky beginning to the night, it’s...nice. Listening to the others bicker. Eggs demanding David starts carrying human sized cash around. David shooting back Eggs can’t carry around giant sized cash so why should he. The blond nearly getting swiped off James’ shoulder at the comment the business man rarely wins a bet. 

Scott notices Jeremy somehow managed to fall asleep when he jolts awake at Mike announcing ‘we’re here’. 

‘Here’ is a park that’s not nearly as busy as he thought. With a cheap clock what hadn’t seen the light of day for an entire year ticking down where it was assembled at the top of a hill. Distinct sections made for giants and humans to ensure no one would get hurt even with the light poles barely being able to combat against the dark. 

“Fritz, I will never forgive you for dragging me here.” 

“Dude, can we roll down the hill!” 

David sighs long and hard as Fritz immediately perks up from Eggs’ suggestion. But then Scott’s turned to. “Well, what’s the plan?” 

It was Mike and Jeremy who invited everyone, but they remain silent when it becomes clear he has the final say. Even James moves so he can hear the eldest, Eggs looking like he’ll jump off the doctor’s shoulder at any second. 

“Mike, what’s a good spot?” 

The giant immediately makes his way over to a vacant table bolted into the ground near the base of the hill. It takes Scott a moment to notice the grass is incredibly short around it despite being meant for giants, meaning no human was going to get lost in it. And the table itself is one solid piece, no large spaces capable of falling through. 

David only glares at it before sitting down, scooping Fritz out of his pocket in order to free the redhead into the grass unable to swallow him whole. “I expect you to not die by Eggs’ stupidity.” 

“Bold of you to assume he hasn’t already,” Eggs taunts as James helps him to the ground. 

“Don’t worry, Scott,” the doctor grins. “I’ll keep an eye on them.” 

That did make him feel better. Even though they are fairly safe here. Scott never visited the hybrid park previous to tonight, but with a light pole shining directly overhead and this clearly having been built and maintained for both sizes, he wouldn’t have required a giant’s supervision. 

He does eye Mike’s offered hand with suspicion as it waits palm up next to his occupied shoulder. Jeremy doesn’t hesitate to carefully stand up from where he was huddled, slowly climbing into the hand before looking up at Scott. “Are y-you coming?” 

“Don’t move, Michael.” 

The giant hums in agreement. Scott sighs before slowly stepping down beside Jeremy. Clenches his fists tightly as vertigo makes his stomach drop as they’re lowered onto the table. He couldn’t get off fast enough, panting slightly at the fear from such a sensation throwing him back to a life he only remembered glimpses of. 

Bristles when he sees David watching him. “What?” 

“You’re one of the strangest humans I have met,” the business man comments. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Scott grumbles. 

That earns him a shrug. “I wouldn’t, but you’re all dumbasses, so I should’ve expected it.” 

“So why the fuck do fireworks explode and shit?” 

“The one time you ask a good question.” 

Scott jumps as Jeremy suddenly latches onto him, looking down at the kid in concern as he shivers violently. “How do you survive, Jeremy?” 

“D-D-D-Don't kn-know.” 

It’s the one time he allows Mike to wrap a hand around him in order to help keep the cold night air away. It’s still suffocating, and Scott has to move a little so he’s not pressed against the burning skin, layers of protection unable to be foolproof. But Jeremy finally warms up enough that the shivers die down. Squeaks when Eggs and Fritz suddenly appear in order to join them. 

“Do not roll down a hill at night. Grass is covered in dew.” 

“We could’ve told you that.” 

“Well James didn’t warn us!” 

Said doctor only gives a knowing smile. “You have three giants-” 

“Like I’m helping them.” 

“-two giants who would be willing to help you dry off and stay warm afterwards.” 

Isn’t that a weird thought. One Scott can’t shake at the idea of a giant being an alley instead of an obstacle. He used to rely on Vincent, used to be overjoyed by the fact a towering being was by his side, but that was years ago. 

And it was something he would never get back. A life that is long gone. 

...yet here he is, huddled with three other humans absorbing the heat of a giant who hasn’t once poked at them or swept them up without warning. Content to just act as a barrier between the cold wind and any other giant who would grab them without warning. Not in any way alone as he watches the seconds slowly tick down from 3, 2, 1. 

Scott braces himself as the first firework appears in the sky, holding his breath as the line of smoke disappears before exploding. 

...it sounded like a human sized firework. 

He looks up in the sky. Stares at the colorful display much too big for him to fully comprehend. A picture he can’t see all of at once. Clearly made for giants, but it didn’t make the very ground shake or his ears burst. 

He realizes his hand holding Fritz’s might’ve been a bit too tight, his knuckles white. But the minute he slowly lets go to ensure he doesn’t cut off the poor redhead’s circulation, his hand is gripped tighter. “D-Don’t let go. Please.” 

Scott pulls the teenager into a full hug as Eggs and Jeremy huddle in closer. And with each boom he relaxes more and more that the world won’t shatter around him. For the first time in about twenty years able to just enjoy the spectacle. Not needing to huddle under ten blankets at home as he wore earplugs and praying it’s enough. 

“I might prefer these better,” David murmurs, sounding like he’s upset to admit it. 

“It’d certainly keep the ER from overflowing if these were more commonplace,” James agrees. 

For Scott, it means he doesn’t start the year absolutely terrified. That instead of thinking the next day will never come, he’s enjoying the midnight sky lighting up with reds, and oranges, and purples. For once not despising something that’s meant to celebrate another year gone, and another one about to begin. 

He almost feels ready for what’s going to come next. 

“S-S-Sounds l-l-like a good start for a new y-y-y-year,” Jeremy whispers. 

...it does, doesn’t it?

#Happy New Year! #my best friend said we needed a special New Year story for the bois and I couldn't help but agree #was definitely a nice semi-short story to write #don'ttelltheeditor #hope you enjoy it! #have a great day! #FNAF bois #g/t #giant #tiny #BTE writing #cw #content warning

[thevindicativevordan]

Why isn't Nightwing a bigger deal? He has all of Batman's skills and Superman's faith in humanity and is arguably the most beloved hero in the DCU, but most people seem to know him either as the leader of the N̶o̶t̶ ̶J̶L̶ Teen Ttians or just Robin.

Thank you for asking me about Nightwing, I've been wanting to write a piece about him for a while now. The short version is that everyone who claims Dick becoming Nightwing was him "moving out of Batman's shadow and becoming his own man" is completely wrong.

Dick Grayson is a fantastic character, someone who saved Bruce Wayne in-universe both by forcing Batman to grow up a bit, and the countless times he saved Batman's life as his partner whether as Robin or Nightwing. Dick saved Batman in the real world as well, hard to believe but Batman was actually in danger of being cancelled due to poor sales early on. Enter Robin, a young daredevil audience stand in the creators hoped would get kids interested in reading Batman. And it worked! Sales on Batman doubled once Robin showed up which is crazy to think about, but Dick Grayson has always been a popular character. Cartoons like Teen Titans, Batman: The Animated Series, and The Batman only helped grow his audience.

Character-wise, Dick Grayson really does fill a number of crucial roles in the DCU. For Batman, Dick is proof that Batman is a positive force. Meeting Batman helped change Dick for the better, helped him heal after his parents died. With Dick, Batman can take comfort in knowing that yes, he has made a difference in the world for at least one orphan boy, which is all he wanted when he lost his parents himself. To the wider DCU, Dick is a friendly face who convinces others that Batman is competent and not a complete asshole. He took this kid in, trained him to be one of the best heroes the DCU has seen, and did it all out of the kindness of his heart. That someone like Dick can confront the evils of Gotham and not break means there's still hope for that city. As Robin, Dick has led the Titans and is an icon in his own right as The Sidekick, the original, the one every other Robin is built around copying or contrasting. The one all other superhero sidekicks are drawing on as a basis. As Robin Dick Grayson is very much on Batman's level.

Just not as Nightwing. As Nightwing, Dick has been a second rate Daredevil which means he's a third rate Batman (fully prepared to get hate for this but I've read and enjoyed the Miller and Bendis DD runs so I feel entitled to my opinion). A typical Nightwing run tends to go like this: Moving to Bludhaven (which is Gotham... but WORSE!), Dick Grayson usually enrolls in a pointless job we don't care about in order to provide some meaningless soap opera drama that doesn't go anywhere. Patrolling the city as Nightwing, he fights a variety of bad guys who are usually rather lame and unthreatening, with his big bad being a Kingpin knockoff called Blockbuster. Villains are fought, long running plotlines are set up, then everything is abandoned because it's Batfamily event time, and Dick has to run back to Gotham in order to play sidekick again. Usually his involvement is completely superfluous and it would've been better if the writer had gotten to opt out. By the time we finally get back to Nightwing's solo plotlines, the audience has usually ceased to care and the run gets cut short.

That's how Nightwing has been since the New 52 at least. Anyone who thinks that's "becoming their own man" is out of their mind. Dick is so thoroughly in Batman's shadow that he got shot in the head and spent a longer time as "Ric" which everyone fucking hated and sold like shit, than he did as Agent Grayson which was extremely well-received. Reiterating: Ric went on longer than Grayson because of a fucking Batman plotpoint Tom King wanted where Bruce was sad and cut off from the Batfamily because of Dick getting shot. Not just calling out King either, how many times was Kyle Higgins Nightwing run derailed because of Scott Snyder's crossovers? Or how about that entire run getting dumped to the side because Johns wanted to out Dick during Forever Evil, a Justice League/Lex Luthor story? DC has repeatedly made their contempt for Nightwing clear, he's Batman's sidekick still in their eyes, and he serves whatever story role the Batman writer wants.

Hell his best stories tend to have been the ones where he's not Nightwing. He was Robin in a good chunk of the Wolfman/Perez New Teen Titans run. Morrison really showcased his depth as a character when they wrote him as Batman, their time with Dick under the cowl was actually one of the first Batman runs I ever read, and no Nightwing run has ever matched it in terms of quality in my humble opinion. Scott Snyder's work with DickBats also was a high point for the character, showing Dick as competent and examining his relationship with Gotham and the Gordons. King and Seeley gave him one of the best comic runs with Grayson, a series where he wasn't even a "superhero" technically! When it comes to actual pre-New 52 Nightwing runs that are highly recommended where he *is* Nightwing, there's Chuck Dixon and uhhhhhhh... Tomasi's brief run before Dick became Batman? It's not exactly an overwhelming list.

Look there has been good work done with Nightwing, I'm not claiming there hasn't been. Tim Seeley wrote a great run with Nightwing Rebirth. Seeley fleshed out Dick's Rogues Gallery with cool new ones like Raptor, he brought back old foes like Dr. Hurt (why oh why couldn't you have brought back Flamingo too?), he gave Dick's world some character it solely needed. Bludhaven under Seeley is pretty much the only time I've really felt like it lived up to being Dick's city.

The problem with fictional cities is you have to put in the work to give them the character of real cities. You have to make the cities feel like characters in their own right. Gotham is the best example of this, it's a character all it's own, one that tells you a lot about Batman and his cast. In contrast Bludhaven is usually one of the worst. Any place that wants to claim to be worse than the city that is built over the gate to hell and gets wrecked every other month by the Arkham freaks has to really put in the work to compete. Simply put, Bludhaven typically fails utterly. There's nothing about it that makes you really buy it's worse than Gotham, I mean does anyone really think Nightwing's Rogues wouldn't get their lunches eaten by Batman's? No, no one genuinely buys that. When Bludhaven claims to be worse, it just comes across as tryhard, an attribute that does end up telling you about Nightwing in unintentional ways.

So Seeley didn't do that. Instead he created a city built for a hero like Dick Grayson. Someone who is bright and flashy, but does have an element of darkness to him. Someone who loves the spotlight, but often uses it to obscure. Seeley turned Bludhaven into Las Vegas, and that was the fucking best concept for Bludhaven I have ever seen, it makes so much sense. Las Vegas is the "Entertainment Capital of the World" and isn't that the perfect city for a hero who got their start working in the circus? Isn't the aesthetics of the gleaming casinos, the glamorous sex appeal of the performers, and the spectacle of the shows, all being used to cover up the seediness of mob bosses meeting backstage perfect for Nightwing? It's so utterly unlike New York City, yet Las Vegas is still dangerous, it's got a crime culture all it's own. Seeley used it to great effect, as did Humphries during his brief run, and I will always be pissed that DC didn't continue to use it. That should have stuck around and been the definitive look for Bludhaven.

How Seeley's take on Bludhaven was treated feels like a small scale version of how Nightwing in general gets treated. Whenever creators pitched ideas for him, if editorial thought there was potential to break big, they asked for those ideas to be repurposed for Batman instead. Anything big or good gets repurposed for Batman or tossed to the side so Nightwing can go back to his default: having irrelevant adventures in a city that is supposedly worse than Gotham but can't live up to it. Just like how Nightwing is supposedly better than Batman but never gets to show it. Goddamn it's so frustrating seeing his potential get wasted like that.

The Nightwing book should be one of DC's most ambitious books in terms of storytelling. You can go from traditional superhero stories, to romantic soap opera, to spy stories, to crime noir, to horror, to cosmic adventures, and ALL of them would fit because Nightwing is someone who has a foot in both Gotham and Metropolis. He's got friends everywhere on every team, and has been a hero longer than most Leaguers have at this point. No reason DC should still be afraid to let him loose and insisting on hewing close to what Dixon established almost over 30 years ago is only holding him back. At the very least get him some better Rogues, why the hell didn't he get to keep Professor Pyg? That's Dick's villain not Bruce's! Bullshit that they didn't let Dick keep him. Hopefully Flamingo comes back, with a slight revamp I think he'd make a great reoccurring Nightwing Rogue.

Luckily it does look somewhat like Nightwing fans have reason to be optimistic. While Taylor isn't to my taste, DC clearly views him as a "big" writer, and that they put him on Nightwing says a lot. Taylor has been selling well so far, so hopefully he gets to tell his story, hilarious that even he lampshaded having to write Dick running over to Gotham for another tie-in after Taylor's big opening arc was all about Dick committing himself and his money to Bludhaven. Scott Snyder is apparently working on a Black Label Nightwing book which will explore how he's a different detective than Bruce. The Gotham Knights video game has him as one of the main stars, and while Titans is... controversial, it's one of the most popular streaming shows and Dick is the main character. There's a lot of content coming that features him in the starring role, and that will only help his star rise further.

For the first time in, well, ever it feels like DC may be serious about elevating him. Time will tell if it pays off, but I for one choose to be optimistic that the 2020s will be a turning point for Dick Grayson where Nightwing becomes hugely popular in his own right. Not just as Batman's sidekick.

#nightwing #dick grayson #batman #gotham knights #titans #dc comics

[herherteartear]

blanket kick

précis— Peter's not the suave man he would hope to be in front of his crush. instead, he's a blushing mess that haunts his memories and causes him to take out his frustrations on his blanket. luckily, you prefer cherry cheeks over smooth lines any day.

pairing— Peter Parker x enhanced!maximoff!reader

a/n— this is my first standalone written story and my first time writing for marvel! i hope you guys enjoy thisss<3 i'm also open to creating drabbles to continue this if anyone's interested????! pls enjoy and pls comment and let me know ur thoughts!!!

there are many ways to describe Peter Parker, but none could ever wholly capture the true essence of the boy

besides the obvious stuff,, his intelligence , his insanely good looks , his teenage awkwardness,,

it was a hard feat to string along words to describe the way he carries himself , the way he is with others , the way his heart loves with the same ability a sponge soaks up water and soap

Peter's had crushes before

perhaps more than he'd like to admit

(can't blame the boy, who gave Ty Lee the right be that cute!?)

but when he sees her, his heart begins to swell and suddenly, he forgets how to breathe..

or how to think... talk. y'know normal human stuff

in all honesty, Peter has tried his absolute hardest to block out their first meeting from his memories

he doesn't regret meeting her, of course not! never would he even repent that embarrassingly wonderful day

he only wishes it would've gone a little differently

let's set the scene, shall we?

the sun was shining brightly, the sky was a Carolina blue, the clouds were the prettiest porcelain color, rimmed with lace

Peter was riding in an awfully silent car that Happy was driving to the airport. despite being terrified of what's to come,, the fight Mr. Stark had recruited him for,, the boy was thoroughly enjoying this adventure.

the car came to a stop, which did little for Peter's nerves. he gathered his courage before stepping out, eyes squinting at the brightness of the yellow sun. once his eyes adjusted, they landed on the prettiest head of hair he had ever seen

(although he did think the same for Hermione Granger)

Peter had never been on a plane before that day. but even then, his sparkling eyes stayed trained on her,, completely ignoring the brilliant private jet behind her

"oh? Happy, i thought it was just us?" her voice made Peter's ears burn. he swallowed thickly. you blinked at Peter, curious but also intrigued , you smiled.

to which Peter choked. on air. your eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"a-are you okay?"

"god, kid, get ahold of yourself."

"i-i'm okay! it's– i'm– i'm fine!" Peter quickly stuttered out.

"well, Yn, this is– uh,, what's your name again?" Happy turned towards the boy who's cheeks were now redder than a firetruck.

"oh! i'm Peter– Peter Parker. it's nice to meet you- not that i don't know you. well i don't, y'know not personally. but like from the news.. not that i believe the news! they're awful to you, but i mean i guess i do sometimes– but never about what they say about you–"

"i'm Yn Maximoff. it's nice to meet you too, Peter." you cut him off before Happy strangled the cute boy. you had an amused smile

he was cute

finally getting on the plane, Peter had hoped he would be able to sit far away from you and wallow in his embarrassment,

maybe sneak a glance or two.. imagine a couple of scenarios where he wasn't a doofus,

but that's not quite what happened.

after witnessing just how much the new kids was able to ramble,, Happy was not about to spend a whole ass plane ride remotely close to him

so he took it upon himself to make the kiddies sit together.. much to Peter's dismay.

like!!? did Happy not see how Peter crashed and burned in font of you?!

you, on the other hand,, had the opposite reaction.

being the youngest avenger, you don't get to be around people your age too much,, which isn't something you're complaining about!!

you totally made the decision to be an avenger and you happily welcomed the consequences..

that didn't mean you didn't get lonely at times. especially now with the accords and the team breaking up., things got a whole lot more lonely

your sister, Wanda, had made her choice to leave the compound. you completely understood why, but a part of you had hoped she would've taken you with her

although, staying at the compound did ensure your safety.

it was a weird time for the avenger's , it felt wrong for you to say some of your teammates were criminals

it left a sour taste in your mouth

you glanced from the window seat to see Peter nervously wringing his fingers. you frowned.

"are you okay?" you asked, gently. Peter's eyes widened and his heart jumped to his throat. he wanted to say something, something cool or aloof, something that would make up for his ranting earlier

"i've never been on a plane before." Peter squeaked out. he dropped his shoulders, rolling his eyes at himself. that was the highest pitch he had ever heard his voice. you took in his clearly anxious posture.

"lets switch seats? maybe looking out the window will help you." you stated. before Peter could quickly shake his head, because how rude would it be of him to take your seat?, you were already stood up.

"oh god!" Peter breathed. he quickly shifted over to the seat you once occupied. he wanted to put up more of a fight, but the way you were swaying due to the turbulence, made his palms sweat in fear for your safety.

"you, like, swing from buildings and stuff, right?" you asked. he turned to you with a nod. "are you afraid of heights? or do you just not like planes?"

oh god. oh. no. you thought– you thought he was scared of being on the plane. Peter wanted to shrink in a hole and hide. you probably thought he was such a baby! that he could handle swinging from hundreds of feet in the air, but a plane is where he drew the line?

but what else is he supposed to say? 'oh, no! it's not the plane I'm scared of. it's just your beautiful smile and the way you smell like cocoa that gets me sweating'

wtf.

that was so wrong in so many ways.

"um, no, no. i'm okay, just– just a little nervous, is all." Peter tried to force out a chuckle. but it come out more like a cough. you mouth formed an 'o.'

"ohh, okay." you paused before your eyes lit up. "how about we play a game? to distract you?"

"o– okay.."

"can you talk with spiders?" Peter lifted his eyes from looking at his hands hovering above yours,; he let out a much more relaxed laugh than earlier.

you took advantage of his distraction to swiftly bring your palm from underneath his and slap the top of Peter's hand. he jumped.

"ouch!" he playfully pouted. you eyes glanced down at his lips. you giggled nervously. your hand went to hover over his, him now being the one to do the slapping. "of course i can't talk to spiders! i– i feel like i should probably be able to shape-shift into a spider in order for that to happen, y'know?"

you nodded thoughtfully. "that's true.. you didn't hear this from me, but i heard there's an Ant-Man going around." Peter looked at you with wide eyes.

"no way! that's crazy! does he like turn into an ant?" you bumped his hand with yours in order to get his attention back to the game. his hand burned at the feeling

"i don't know-" you said in a singsong tone. "it's just what's being said around the compound." you quickly slid your hands to avoid Peter's attack. he huffed.

"how are you so good at this?" he knitted his eyebrows to focus on how to attack quickly without hurting you.

"it's a game i used to play with my brother and sister." you answered. Peter finally took his chance to slap your hands, to which you squealed excitedly as you had tried to move in time. Peter and you fell into a fit of giggles.

you both leaned against your seats, still facing each other. your hands fell on top of Peter's.

the brown haired boy quickly slid his hand out from under yours, not because he didn't enjoy the contact, but because he was worried you'd feel how clammy his hands were

you frowned slightly at the loss of contact.

"a– are we really fighting your sister?" Peter wondered out loud, without a second thought.

you shifted uncomfortably. Peter quickly noticed; his heart sped up and he mentally scolded himself for being so inconsiderate.

"not because i think she's evil! i mean,, i know that's what the news says.. but they also think Spider-Man's like thirty. and i'm not thirty! its just everything's crazy right now.. with the accords., i can't even imagine how you're feeling! probably terrible.. oh, g od wait, not terrible, i'm s–"

you had been watching with an endearing look in your eye. you had come to find that you enjoy watching Peter ramble.

his eyes would become unsettled and shaky, his body would begin to become more and more animated, but his voice

gosh, his voice was something you wanted to listen to for the rest of your life

but you could tell he was getting more and more skittish. so you put him out of his misery

"terrible probably wouldn't be my go-to word, it's up there though.. at least i got to meet you." you smiled softly.

Peter's eyes ran over your soft features. night had fallen, so the windows of the plan displayed an almost picturesque display of the moon and stars. the light hue of color the moon provided painted your face in a way that clouded Peter's thoughts.

with your comment of being grateful to have met him, Peter wasn't in control of his mouth for much longer.

"so pretty." he breathed. both of you guys froze.

Peter's face quickly morphed from love-sick to mortified. you blushed violently.

deciding you didn't want Peter to fall into another rant-like apology (because if you got to listen to him talk for that long in this setting, you might just drop the 'L' word) , you said,

"let's watch a movie?"

the two of you sat, shoulder to shoulder, watching Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but being too hyper aware of their thighs pressed together and brushing hands to actually pay attention

upon arrival, both teenagers walked off the plane, sleep deprived , but with thumping hearts and dazed grins.

Peter threw himself on his hotel bed that night,, hiding under the covers

his thoughts replayed your interaction over and over (and over and over) in his head

the boy shoved his head, face first, into the stiff hotel pillow and let out a muffled groan

Peter flipped himself over, stared at the ceiling, before remembering his spouts of unnecessarily long explanations

he thrashed his body, kicking his poor blanket in frustration but most of all, out of embarrassment

he calmed himself down once his memories refreshed themselves over your gentle giggles and how soft your hands were

Peter fell asleep with cherry red cheeks and a blissful grin.

because despite those small mess ups, despite the futile way he beat his covers in humiliation, Peter treasures that day like no other.

#peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker x yn #peter parker fluff #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #tom holland #peter parker headcanon

[popculturebuffet]

Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling.  And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain. 

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98.  Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98. 

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this  Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act. 

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on. 

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days. 

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy. 

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate. 

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can. 

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww. 

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that. 

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more  on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads.  Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention. 

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it. 

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut. 

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30.  So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise. 

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that. 

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad.  Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs.  And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly. 

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from.  So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love.  Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that. 

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE. 

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this. 

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that. 

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own. 

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all. 

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No.  Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy. 

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe.  And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial. 

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot. 

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought. 

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches. 

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story. 

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised.  Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off... 

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk.  Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque. 

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating. 

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times. 

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that.  So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse. 

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call. 

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie. 

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect. 

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening. 

But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy  not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that. 

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs. 

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie. 

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act. 

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues.  Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice. 

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat.   Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it.  Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did. 

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above.  At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay... 

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis.  The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie. 

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her.  1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake.  2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not  in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit.  And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m  so sick of talking about her. 

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume.  So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that. 

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF.  So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice  parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew,  while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose. 

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy. 

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her.  Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through.  So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection. 

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake. 

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him.  And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star.  Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent.  So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate. 

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times.  It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is.  The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE.  Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for. 

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim... 

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID  Neil bring to the concert? 

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass.. 

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents. 

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven. 

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag. 

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated. 

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve. 

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome.  Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams. 

Heck of  a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones,  Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here. 

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #ramona flowers #kim pine #stephen stiles #wallace wells #envy adams #lucas lee #oni press #Brian Lee O'malley #knives chau #neil nordgraf

[letteredlettered]

You're one of my favorite authors. I'm really heartened to see your reaction to JKR's transphobia. I've seen a lot of people I respect do what she did—openly hate people like me for one fake reason or another—over the years. I've waffled over the Death of the Author argument you refer to. It's been easier for me to ignore JKR, to not be so bothered, because I always liked fanfic better than the books themselves. You & many others created the world I love, not her. So, thank you.

Second ask:

Hi! I'm an anon from earlier, my ask began with "You're one of my favorite authors." I realized after reading a bit more of your blog that you might take issue with the part of my ask that called JKR's reasoning fake. I mainly meant that I feel like she's had opportunity to learn better, that many of her statements are generally false, etc. I really appreciate how nuanced your views are—I don't often see anyone consider a subject as carefully and thoroughly as you. Have a good day.

I posted your asks together, since you clarified what you meant, although I will say I felt I understood initially. And yes, I think JKR’s reasons are based on her genuine feelings, research she’s done, and work she’s doing. In addition, her experience of judgment from online communities has added to her belief that the ideas themselves are toxic, as well as the discussion. However, it does seem to me that these experiences narrow her understanding of the subject, though again, I would never claim to be any kind of expert. There just seem to be a lot of logical fallacies in her statements; in that sense, I can understand using the word “fake” to describe them.

You didn’t really say anything about this, but I do want to clarify two points about Death of the Author. A friend pointed out that sometimes people use Death of the Author to argue that nothing a creator says or does matters and that we can’t be critical of creators because nothing they say can have any impact. I tried to clarify in my initial post about Death of the Author that what powerful people say absolutely does matter, because it can influence public opinion and thus social behavior and policy. Furthermore, as much as we don’t like to admit it, books are commodities. They have a market value, and elevating a text can therefore make the people associated with its creation powerful. You have the right to be bothered by JKR just as much as you have the right to ignore her. She’s said transphobic things, and it shouldn’t be forgotten.

The other point I want to make, which I also tried to make initially, is that Death of the Author is a way to read the text. You can use JKR’s comments about trans people to interpret Harry Potter, or you can interpret Harry Potter without consideration of her comments. When I say I believe in Death of the Author, I mean that I believe Death of the Author is a useful way to look at a text. The great thing about reading is no one can really dictate the way you internalize a text. I like to use Oscar Wilde’s life and statements to find all the gay in things by Oscar Wilde. I do not like to use Orson Scott Card’s life and statements to find all the anti-LGBT in things by Orson Scott Card.

All of this is to say, I understand having trouble using Death of the Author to read JKR’s books. It doesn’t erase what she’s said. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt by what she’s said and by others who have said similar things. I’m glad you find solace in fic.

#jkr #transphobia #death of the author #fic #Anonymous

[96harmony96]

Chapter 4 part 1

It took an endless moment to realize jauregui and I were still alone in the room, that the voice I’d heard had come through a speaker. Jauregui stood at the far end of the sofa, flushed and scowling, her chest heaving. Her tie was loosened and the fly of her slacks strained against a very impressive erection.

I had a nightmare vision in my head of what I must look like. And I was late getting back to work.

“Christ.” she shoved both hands through her hair. “It’s the middle of the fucking day. In my goddamn fucking office!”

I got to my feet and tried to straighten my appearance.

“Here.” she came to me, yanking my skirt up again.Mortified by the sudden intrusion into our privacy, I scrambled up and back into the armrest, yanking down my skirt.

“…two o’clock appointment is here.”

Furious at what I’d almost let happen when I should be at work, I smacked at her hands. “Stop it. Leave me alone.”

“Shut up, Camila,” she said grimly, catching the hem of my black silk blouse and tugging it into place, adjusting it so that the buttons once again formed a straight row between my breasts. Then she pulled down my skirt, smoothing it with calm, expert hands. “Fix your ponytail.”

Jauregui retrieved her coat, shrugging into it before adjusting her tie. We reached the door at the same time and when I crouched to fetch my purse, she lowered with me.

she caught my chin, forcing me to look at her. “Hey,” she said softly. “You okay?”

My throat burned. I was aroused and mad and thoroughly embarrassed. I’d never in my life lost my mind like that. And I hated that I’d done so with her, a woman whose approach to sexual intimacy was so clinical it depressed me just thinking about it.

I jerked my chin away. “Do I look okay?”

“You look beautiful and fuckable. I want you so badly it hurts. I’m dangerously close to taking you back to the couch and making you come ’til you beg me to stop.”

“Can’t accuse you of being silver-tongued,” I muttered, aware that I wasn’t offended. In fact, the rawness of her hunger for me was a serious aphrodisiac. Clutching the strap of my purse, I stood on shaky legs. I needed to get away from her. And, when my workday was done, I needed to be alone with a big glass of wine.

Jauregui stood with me. “I’ll be done by five. I’ll come get you then.”

“No, you won’t. This doesn’t change anything.”

“The hell it doesn’t.”

“Don’t be arrogant, Jauregui. I lost my head for a second, but I still don’t want what you want.”

Her fingers curled around the door handle. “Yes, you do. You just don’t want it the way I want to give it to you. So, we’ll revisit and revise.”

More business. Cut-and-dried. My spine stiffened.

I set my hand over her and yanked on the handle, ducking under her arm to squeeze out the door. Her secretary shoved quickly to his feet, gaping, as did the woman and two men who were waiting for Jauregui. I heard her speak behind me.

“Scott will show you into my office. I’ll be just a moment.”

she caught me by reception, her arm crossing my lower back to grip my hip. Not wanting to make a scene, I waited until we were by the elevators to pull away.

she stood calmly and hit the call button. “Five o’clock, Camila.”

I stared at the lighted button. “I’m busy.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“I’m busy all weekend.”

Stepping in front of me, she asked tightly, “With whom?”

“That’s none of your—”

Her hand covered my mouth. “Don’t. Tell me when, then. And before you say never, take a good look at me and tell me if you see a woman who’s easily deterred.”

Her face was hard, her gaze narrowed and determined. I shivered. I wasn’t sure I’d win a battle of wills withLauren jauregui.

Swallowing, I waited until she lowered her hand and said, “I think we both need to cool off. Take a couple days to think.”

she persisted. “Monday after work.”

The elevator arrived and I stepped into it. Facing her, I countered, “Monday lunch.”

We’d have only an hour, a guaranteed escape.

Just before the doors closed, shesaid, “We’re going to happen, Camila.”

It sounded as much like a threat as a promise.

___

“Don’t sweat it, Camila,” Mark said, when I arrived at my desk nearly a quarter after two. “You didn’t miss anything. I had a late lunch with Mr. Leaman. I just barely got back myself.”

“Thank you.” No matter what he said, I still felt terrible. My kick-ass Friday morning seemed to have happened days ago.

We worked steadily until five, discussing a fast-food client and contemplating some possible tweaks to ad copy for a chain of organic grocery stores.

“Talk about strange bedfellows,” Mark had teased, not knowing how apt that was in regard to my personal life.

I’d just shut down my computer and was pulling my purse out of the drawer when my phone rang. I glanced at the clock, saw it was exactly five, and considered ignoring the call because I was technically done for the day.

But since I was still feeling shitty about my overly-long lunch, I considered it penance and answered. “Mark Garrity’s—”

“Camila honey. Richard says you forgot your cell phone at his office.”

I exhaled in a rush and sagged back into my chair. I could picture the handkerchief wringing that usually accompanied that particular anxious tone of my mother’s. It drove me nuts and it also broke my heart. “Hi, Mom. How are you?”

“Oh, I’m lovely. Thank you.” My mom had a voice that was both girlish and breathy, like Marilyn Monroe crossed with Scarlett Johansson. “Clancy dropped your phone off with the concierge at your place. You really shouldn’t go anywhere without it. You never know when you might need to call for someone—”

I’d been debating the logistics of just keeping the phone and forwarding calls to a new number I didn’t share with my mom, but that wasn’t my biggest concern. “What does Dr. Petersen say about you tracing my phone?”

The silence on the other end of the line was telling. “Dr. Petersen knows I worry about you.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I said, “I think it’s time for us to have another joint appointment, Mom.”

“Oh…of course. He did mention that he’d like to see you again.”

Probably because he suspects you’re not being forthcoming. I changed the subject. “I really like my new job.”

“That’s wonderful, Camila! Is your boss treating you well?”

“Yes, he’s great. I couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

“Is he handsome?”

I smiled. “Yes, very. And he’s taken.”

“Damn it. The good ones always are.” she laughed and my smile widened.

I loved it when she was happy. I wished she were happy more often. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow at the advocacy dinner.”

Sinuhe Cabello Barker Mitchell Stanton was in her element at society functions, a gilded shining beauty who’d never lacked male attention in her life.

“Let’s make a day of it,” my mom said breathlessly. “You, me, and Cary. We’ll go to the spa, get pretty and polished. I’m sure you could use a massage after working so hard.”

“I won’t turn one down, that’s for sure. And I know Cary will love it.”

“Oh, I’m excited! I’ll send a car by your place around eleven?”

“We’ll be ready.”

After I hung up, I leaned back in my chair and exhaled, needing a hot bath and an orgasm. If Lauren Jauregui somehow found out I masturbated while thinking about her, I didn’t care. Being sexually frustrated was weakening my position, a weakness I knew she wouldn't be sharing. No doubt she’d have a preapproved orifice lined up before day’s end.

As I swapped out my heels for my walking shoes, my phone rang again. My mother was rarely distracted for long. The five minutes since we’d ended our call was just about the right length of time for her to realize the cell phone issue hadn’t been resolved. Once again, I debated ignoring the phone, but I didn’t want to take any of the day’s crap home with me.

I answered with my usual greeting, but it lacked its usual punch.

“I’m still thinking about you.”

The velvet rasp of jauregui's voice flooded me with such relief I realized I’d been hoping to hear it again. Today.

God. The craving was so acute I knew she’d become a drug to my body, the prime source of some very intense highs.

“I can still feel you, camila. Still taste you. I’ve been hard since you left, through two meetings and one teleconference. You’ve got the advantage, state your demands.”

“Ah,” I murmured. “Lemme think.”

I let her wait, smiling as I remembered Cary’s comment about blue balls. “Hmm…Nothing is coming to mind. But I do have some friendly advice. Go spend time with a woman who salivates at your feet and makes you feel like a god. Fuck her until neither of you can walk. When you see me on Monday you’ll be totally over it and your life will return to its usual obsessive-compulsive order.”

The creak of leather sounded over the phone and I imagined her leaning back in her desk chair. “That was your one free pass, Camila. The next time you insult my intelligence, I’ll take you over my knee.”

“I don’t like that sort of thing.” And yet the warning, given in that voice, aroused me. Dark and Dangerous for sure.

“We’ll discuss. In the interim, tell me what you do like.”

I stood. “You definitely have the voice for phone sex, but I’ve got to go. I have a date with my vibrator.”

I should’ve hung up then, to gain the full effect of the brush-off, but I couldn’t resist learning if he’d gloat like I had imagined she would. Plus, I was having fun with her.

“Oh, Camila.” Jauregui spoke my name in a decadent purr. “You’re determined to drive me to my knees, aren’t you? What will it take to talk you into a threesome with B.O.B.?”

I ignored both questions as I slung my bag and purse over my shoulder, grateful she couldn't see how my hand shook. I was not discussing Battery Operated Boyfriends withLauren Jauregui. I’d never discussed masturbation openly with a woman or man, let alone a woman who was for all intents and purposes a stranger to me. “B.O.B. and I have a longtime understanding—when we’re done with each other, we know exactly which one of us has been used, and it isn’t me. Good night, Lauren.”

I was so grateful to be home after the day I’d had that I practically danced through my apartment’s front door. My heartfelt “God, it’s good to be home!” and accompanying spin was vehement enough to startle the couple on the couch.

“Oh,” I said, wincing at my own silliness. Cary wasn’t in a compromising position with his guest when I barged in, but they’d been sitting close enough to suggest intimacy.

Grudgingly, I thought of Lauren Jauregui, who preferred to strip all intimacy out of the most intimate act I could imagine. I’d had one-night stands and friends with benefits, and no one knew better than I that sex and making love were two very different things, but I didn’t think I’d ever be able to view sex like a handshake. I thought it was sad that Jauregui did, even though she wasn't a person who inspired pity or sympathy.

“Hey, baby girl,” Cary called out, pushing to his feet. “I was hoping you’d make it back before Trey had to leave.”

“I have class in an hour,” Trey explained, rounding the coffee table as I dropped my bag on the floor and put my purse on a barstool at the breakfast bar. “But I’m glad I got to meet you before I left.”

“Me, too.” I shook the hand he extended to me, taking him in with a quick glance. He was about my age, I guessed. Average height and nicely muscular. He had unruly blond hair, soft hazel eyes, and a nose that had clearly been broken at some point.

“Mind if I grab a glass of wine?” I asked. “It’s been a long day.”

“Go for it,” Trey replied.

“I’ll take one, too.” Cary joined us by the breakfast bar. He was wearing loose-fitting black jeans and an off-the-shoulder black sweater. The look was casual and elegant, and did a phenomenal job of offsetting his dark brown hair and emerald eyes.

I went to the wine fridge and pulled out a random bottle.

Trey shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels, talking quietly with Cary as I uncorked and poured.

The phone rang and I grabbed the handset off the wall. “Hello?”

“Hey, Camila? It’s Parker Smith.”

“Parker, hi.” I leaned my hip into the counter. “How are you?”

“I hope you don’t mind my calling. Your stepdad gave me your number.”

Gah. I’d had enough of Stanton for one day. “Not at all. What’s up?”

“Honestly? Everything’s looking up right now. Your stepdad is like my fairy godfather. He’s funding a few safety improvements to the studio and some much-needed upgrades. That’s why I’m calling. The studio’s going to be out of commission for the rest of the week. Classes will resume next Monday.”

I closed my eyes, struggling to tamp down a flare of exasperation. It wasn’t Parker’s fault that Stanton and my mom were overprotective control freaks. Clearly they didn’t see the irony of defending me while I was surrounded by people trained to do that very thing. “Sounds good. I can’t wait. I’m really excited to be training with you.”

“I’m excited, too. I’m going to work you hard, Camila. Your parents are going to get their money’s worth.”

I set a filled glass in front of Cary and took a big gulp out of my own. It never ceased to amaze me how much cooperation money could buy. But again, that wasn’t Parker’s fault. “No complaints here.”

“We’ll get started first thing next week. Your driver has the schedule.”

“Great. See you then.” I hung up and caught the glance Trey shot Cary when he thought neither of us was looking. It was soft and filled with a sweet yearning, and it reminded me that my problems could wait. “I’m sorry I caught you on the way out, Trey. Do you have time for pizza Wednesday night? I’d love to do more than say hi and bye.”

“I have class.” He gave me a regretful smile and shot another side-glance at Cary. “But I could come by on Tuesday.”

“That’d be great.” I smiled. “We could order in and have a movie night.”

“I’d like that.”

I was rewarded with the kiss Cary blew me as he headed to the door to show Trey out. When he returned to the kitchen he grabbed his wine and said, “All right. Spill it, Camila. You looked stressed.”

“I am,” I agreed, grabbing the bottle and moving into the living room.

“It’sLauren Jauregui, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah. But I don’t want to talk about her.” Although Lauren’s pursuit was exhilarating, hier goal sucked. “Let’s talk about you and Trey instead. How did you two meet?”

“I ran across him on a job. He’s working part time as a photographer’s assistant. Sexy, isn’t he?” His eyes were bright and happy. “And a real gentleman. In an old-school way.”

“Who knew there were any of those left?” I muttered before polishing off my first glass.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry, Cary. He seemed great, and he obviously digs you. Is he studying photography?”

“Veterinary medicine.”

“Wow. That’s awesome.”

“I think so, too. But forget about Trey for a minute. Talk about what’s bugging you. Get it out.”

I sighed. “My mom. she found out about my interest in Parker’s studio and now she’s freaking out.”

“What? How’d she find out? I swear I haven’t told anyone.”

“I know you didn’t. Never even crossed my mind.” Grabbing the bottle off the table, I refilled my glass. “Get this. She’s been tracking my cell phone.”

Cary’s brows rose. “Seriously? That’s…creepy.”

“I know, right? That’s what I told Stanton, but he doesn’t want to hear it.”

“Well, hell.” He ran a hand through his long bangs. “So what do you do?”

“Get a new phone. And meet with Dr. Petersen to see if he can’t talk some sense into her.”

“Good move. Turn it over to her shrink. So…is everything okay with your job? Do you still love it?”

“Totally.” My head fell back into the sofa cushions and my eyes closed. “My work and you are my lifesavers right now.”

What about the young hottie bazillionaire who wants to nail you? Come on, Camila. You know I’m dying here. What happened?”

I told him, of course. I wanted his take on it all. But when I finished, he was quiet. I lifted my head to look at him, and found him bright-eyed and biting his lip.

“Cary? What are you thinking?”

“I’m feeling kind of hot from that story.” He laughed and the warm, richly masculine sound swept a lot of my irritation away. “sHe’s got to be so confused right now. I would’ve paid money to see her face when you hit her with that bit she wanted to spank you over.”

“I can’t believe she said that.” Just remembering Jauregui’s voice when she made that threat had my palms damp enough to leave steam on my glass. “What the hell is she into?”

“Spanking’s not deviant. Besides, she was going for missionary on the couch, so she’s not averse to the basics.” He fell into the couch, a brilliant smile lighting up his handsome face. “You’re a huge challenge to a girl who obviously thrives on them. And she’s willing to make concessions to have you, which I’d bet she’s not used to. Just tell her what you want.”

I split the last of the wine between us, feeling marginally better with a bit of alcohol in my veins. What did I want? Aside from the obvious? “We’re totally incompatible.”

“Is that what you call what happened on her couch?”

“Cary, come on. Boil it down. shepicked me up off the lobby floor, and then asked me to fuck. That’s really it. Even a guy I take home from a bar has more going for him than that. Hey, what’s your name? Come here often? Who’s your friend? What are you drinking? Like to dance? Do you work around here?”

“All right, all right. I get it.” He set his glass down on the table. “Let’s go out. Hit a bar. Dance ’til we drop. Maybe meet some guys who’ll talk you up some.”

“Or at least buy me a drink.”

“Hey, Lauregui offered you one of those in her office.”

I shook my head and stood. “Whatever. Let me take a shower and we’ll go.”

[angryhausfrau-writes]

I Travel Troubled Oceans: Chapter 9 - In Which Charles, Anne, and Mary Hang Out

Charles flops down next to Anne on the sofa, right on top of the blanket she's trying to pull out of its artsy drape and into something that will actually cover her. It's pouring rain outside, which explains why Charles is home instead of out working on his tan – but it don't explain why he's bothering her.

“Fuck do you want, Charles?”

Charles ignores Anne's snarling with the ease of long familiarity. “We haven't hung out in a while.” He shrugs. “Thought it might be nice.”

Anne scoffs. “Jack kick you out, then?”

Charles laughs. “He's reading on the shitter-”

“So we'll see him sometime tomorrow, then,” Anne interrupts.

Charles grins. “I'll follow him a lot of places, but that's not one of 'em.”

Anne laughs and moves her legs so Charles can sit down without breaking her legs. And they sit in silence for a while, neither of them being all that inclined towards talking.

But eventually Anne breaks it to say, “Used to be him, following you around like a puppy. It bother you it ain't like that no more?”

Anne's blunt as always. But it's probably the reason her and Charles get along so well – neither of them one to mince words.

Charles shrugs. “This is Jack's world. Max's world. I wouldn't know the first thing about navigating it.”

But Jack's always been sharp. Been able to read people. To plot the course through troubled waters and come out the other side victorious, teeth bared and bloody from the fight.

So no, Charles doesn't mind following a man like that.

Anne nods in understanding. “It ain't a world I know much about either. But I don't mind it as much as I thought I would.”

That's a bit of an understatement, if she's being honest. She's not Charles, she hadn't lived in rat infested leaky shitholes out of some sense of strength or pride. She'd done it cuz she'd had no choice.

And now that she's got the choice of being inside, nice and dry and warm, instead of out on a corner somewhere, pushing. Well, she's willing to fight to keep it. Even if she's gotta go through every rich fuckhead in London.

Although she's looking forward to a little action, if she's being honest. They've been gathering intel on various upper-class creeps for a while now. And Anne knows that they're playing the long game, here. And that Max is more interested in blackmail and leverage than any immediate material benefit. But Anne's itching to knife someone – or at least lift a wallet or two. She wouldn't want to get rusty.

“Things have been a little slow, though, lately, ain't they?”

Charles looks consideringly at her for a long minute.

“You want to go out?”

It's not an ideal day for it, given it's pissing rain. But Charles has a list of a few lower-level bureaucrats in the Councilor's office he's allowed to intimidate. And, thanks to his own tireless efforts collecting gossip, a whole list of ways to keep them in line. Some of which don't even have anything to do with threatening their lives, which is novel.

Anne shrugs. “Beats sitting around here.”

A pause.

“Think Mary'd want to come?”

Which from Anne is as good as an admission that she wants Mary along. That she likes spending time with her and wants to do it as much as possible And that is as good a confession of sappy love-like feelings as Anne is going to make.

So Charles, as a good friend, says, “Doesn't hurt to ask. She can't be busy with Jack's social media shit all the time.”

Jack emerges from the bathroom to a silent and empty house. Which is unusual – there's enough people living there that there's always someone around, even if it's one of the housekeepers and not the people who actually live there. And Charles has a penchant for loud music with lots of pounding basslines, so it's never really quiet when he's around.

But, as Jack wanders through empty room after empty room, it's becoming apparent that he's by himself in the house for once. And if that's the case, then it doesn't hurt to indulge in a little “me time,” now does it?

Jack makes a beeline for Anne's bathroom – the one with the nicest bathtub, even though she hardly uses it. And he lights some candles and puts on some soft music and lets the tub fill with hot water and lavender scented foam. And Jack may even pour himself a glass of wine, even though it's barely past noon. But he's a man of leisure now, and surely that allows for the occasional bout of day drinking.

He relaxes into the warm bath, his head cushioned on a folded towel, closes his eyes and breathes out all the stress and anxiety and worry about succeeding that he's been holding since this whole venture started.

Eme drives them all to the posh councilor's office downtown. One of those real bullshit steel and glass monstrosities that are meant to make you feel like some kinda insignificant piece of shit out on the sidewalk. But Charles has never been one to be plagued by self-doubt.

They strut into the towering, ostentatious and austere lobby. No appointment. No credentials. Just sheer chutzpah. Mary feels a little out of place, next to Charles and Anne. But she's also really looking forward to Charles Vane and Anne Bonny putting the fear of God into some of the sick fucks she's been putting files together on.

There's one guy in particular she'd – well, she wouldn't mind too much if Anne or Charles actually killed him. Preferably gruesomely.

But Charles isn't looking so much like a killer right now as he flirts with lobby security. Or at least Mary thinks it's flirting? It's vaguely menacing but there seems to be quite a lot of sensuality going on for it to be entirely threatening. Just lots of intense eye-contact and smoldering happening.

But whatever the fuck all that was works and the handsome Spanish security guard lets them through the little turnstyle barricade and Charles saunters towards the elevators, with Anne and then Mary following.

Charles grins and he can see in the mirrored door of the elevator that it's more of a snarl. He hadn't been lying to Anne when he'd said he didn't mind Jack leading them. But it feels good to be on the hunt again, with a crew – a crew he trusts - at his back. An adversary in front of him (or behind him, at this point, though Charles can also see the way the security guard's eyes stay on him, piercing) who understands who they both are – who sees and recognizes who Charles is, just as Charles recognizes him.

And then the elevator doors open to deposit a blonde woman in a skirt suit and Charles, Anne, and Mary disappear into the heart of the building, rocketing towards the thirty-eighth floor and the man they've come to threaten. It's too late to stop them. Too late to raise the alarm. Too late to do anything about their presence but wish them happy hunting.

It's not that Jack doesn't like running the crew. He'd been gunning for that position since before Charles ran away. Not to replace Charles, you understand, but to be on equal footing with him. To be seen by him, respected by him as an equal.

And then Charles had gone away for that two-stretch and there had been something of a power vacuum. One which Jack was all too ready and able to exploit. He'd been running Charles's former crew within a month and just sort of kept on running it even after Charles got out of prison.

Because he'd done a good job of running the crew. It's not boasting, it's just fact.

But then the whole Flint versus Eleanor debacle had happened. And now there's another power vacuum to fill – an even larger one, what with one of the richest men in London's extensive crime empire and one of the best street-level bosses out of the game. And Jack would be an idiot not to exploit that fact, even without Max and Mr. Scott there to convince him into it.

But it's so different to what he's done before, to what he knows.

He agrees with Max's end goal, of course. Integrating themselves into the existing power structure so thoroughly that they can get away with all the crimes the ruling class gets away with by dint of their name or lineage or wealth. And maybe make some of those fuckers pay their due along the way.

But that doesn't make it easy, leaving behind everything he's ever known for this scam. And it's even more difficult to know if he's plotting the right course. If he's doing right by his crew, who are his responsibility now.

The books never really prepare you for the harsh realities of leadership and glory and renown. Probably because the people writing them don't actually give half a shit about the people who got them there.

Like Flint, who both reviled and needed his crew and fell short of his goals because he underestimated them.

Like Eleanor, who refused to listen to anyone about anything and it cost her everything.

Jack refuses to be like either of them. Refuses to fall the way they did. If he's going to fail, it's going to be as Jack Rackham – and no one else.

Feeling much better after his strange, reverse-psychology internal monologue, Jack gets out of the bath to dry off and perhaps luxuriate in a robe on one of his many tasteful divans. Because really, there's no point in pretending to be a rich gay drama queen if he can't have an excessive number of divans in his home.

Unfortunately, his plans are ruined by the return of Charles, Anne, and Mary, back from- wherever they were. Probably up to no good, if the rather bloodthirsty smiles they're sporting is any indication. But Charles knows better than to cross Max – and Anne wouldn't unless there was a very, very good reason. And they come bearing take away. So it's probably nothing to worry about.

Everything's going to be fine.

Probably.

#black sails #charles vane/jack rackham #anne bonny/max #i travel troubled oceans #chapter 9

[otg2012]

No Other Option | Stiles has doubts about marrying Jackson when he doesn’t want him to take the bite.

DAY 4: Dealer’s Choice @jacksonwhittemoreweek | Stiles/Jackson | AO3

Five years before

"What... what are you doing?" Jackson stammers, uncertain and worried as he enters the bedroom.

He had just arrived at their apartment from work and was surprised when he didn't find Stiles in the kitchen or in the living room as usual. Finding Stiles standing over where his suitcase was laid out on the bed was the last thing he expected. He couldn't easily find a way to describe all the thoughts that went through his head in that second.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Stiles sighs. “I’m packing, obviously.” He opens the drawers of his nightstand and takes some underwear and socks to place them inside the case. He's trying to play it cool but Jackson can feel the nerves radiating from him.

"I can see that, obviously," Jackson says, rolling his eyes.

"Then don't ask stupid questions." Stiles's tone is harsher than he intended but he needs to be firm if he wants to do this. He can't let Jackson convince him otherwise.

Stiles opens the right side of the big wardrobe in the opposite side of the room and takes out some shirts. dumps them in a pile on the bed and starts folding them one-by-one..

Jackson takes two steps closer. "I wouldn't need to ask you anything if you had told me something."

"That's funny," Stiles snorts. "I told you something last night. I told you how I fucking feel. And you don't give a shit. It's like talking to a fucking wall." Stiles says bitterly, shaking his head.

Jackson simply shakes his head too and moves closer behind Stiles so that he can circle his waist with his arms and kiss his neck.

Stiles stops what he's doing for a second, lets himself be held, and sighs. Jackson kisses the other side of his neck and slides his right hand under Stiles's shirt as he keeps him steady with his other arm. Jackson can feel how tense Stiles is and he hates it. It makes his wolf hurt and he needs to make it better.

"Stiles..." Jackson says quietly before kissing again between his neck and shoulder. He bites him softly before licking where he's left the mark of his teeth. Stiles lets out a low moan of pleasure despite himself before coming back to his senses a few seconds later.

"Don't Stiles me, ok?" Stiles tries to untangle Jackson's arms and his rejection only results in Jackson's wolf asking to hold him more tightly. "It's not gonna work this time." Stiles hopes that his voice sounds as firm as he's trying to sound.

"Please don't go." Jackson buries his face in the spot he had bitten before and inhales his familiar scent as he caresses Stiles's chest. "I need you," he admits, voice muffled by Stiles's neck.

"Let me go." Stiles says as he tries to turn around. Even though Jackson is shorter than him, he's still stronger and Stiles knows anything he tries is gonna be pointless. "Jackson, please, I said let - me - go," he repeats stressing every word.

Jackson can feel his pulse speed up and anxiety radiating from him this time. His wolf recognizes the order and he lets out a low whine as his arms open slowly. He takes a few steps back before sitting on the bed next to the suitcase.

Stiles goes back to the wardrobe and takes out some jeans and sweaters that he folds as well as he can before adding them to the rest of the clothes.

"So, what is this? Are you breaking up with me?" Jackson looks at him with such sad eyes that Stiles knows it's better to avoid looking back, otherwise he'll change his mind.

"No." Stiles stops what he's doing for a moment. "I'm going to Scott's for a while. I don't know for how long. I need time to think." He licks his lips. "I need to think about us... and I need to think about what I want and... I can't do that here –” he spreads his arms, indicating the apartment “– with you.” He points to Jackson.

"That's bullshit," Jackson snaps.

"If I stay here," Stiles says, waving his arms around once more, "we're just gonna have sex, we're gonna make up and nothing is gonna get solved." As usual. "Exactly in that order. And you know it as well as I do."

Jackson simply shakes his head. He can't believe this shit.

"So, no," Stiles continues as he grabs his pair of flip-flops and puts them in a bag. “This time, I'm leaving. I need to get out of here."

"This means..." Jackson hesitates and looks away, unsure if he wants to ask. "Are you calling off the wedding?"

Stiles finds a place for the bag he's holding and stops to think. He rests his hands on his hips and looks at Jackson. "I honestly don't know. I've only thought as far as heading out."

"And you think that going to Scott's is the solution? What's he gonna do? And just so you know, he agrees with me."

"Like I said, I need time to think what I want, and that's not true. He's my best friend and he knows I'm right."

"Yeah. You need to think what you want and here I thought what you wanted was me,” Jackson says, pain obvious in his voice.

"It's not that easy, Jackson. You know that." He adds a jacket on top of the other things.

Jackson huffs a sigh. "It is that easy." He looks directly at Stiles. "It is if you want it to be. I love you and I want you to be my mate. I want to marry you in two months. I want you."

Stiles stops what he's doing. "I know." He leaves the suitcase and takes a couple of steps to stand in front of Jackson and hold his hands. "I love you too. But you're not gonna change your mind." Jackson grips his hands tightly. "I can't stay here." Stiles releases his hands and goes back to the wardrobe to get some t-shirts. "I need to be sure."

"Well, it seems you've made up your mind." Jackson blinks back a few tears and rubs the back of his hand against his eyes.

Seeing Jackson cry thoroughly breaks Stiles’ heart. He wishes there was a way to make it easier on both of them, but Stiles needs to do this.

"I have," Stiles says quietly as he nods.

There’s a pain in Jackson’s chest that makes him unable to think, let alone argue. He can’t stay there, watching Stiles gather his things to go. "I'm gonna..." There's a hitch in his breath. "I'll see you at the pack's meeting, I guess." He gets up and heads to the bathroom at the end of the room.

"Yeah, probably." Although Stiles is pretty sure he won’t go.

Jackson enters the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He opens it again a few seconds later. "Don't forget your pillow," he says quietly.

"I won't." Stiles looks at Jackson and smiles wryly. "Thank you." Jackson knows he can't sleep without it and he has a tendency to always forget about it when they travel.

When Jackson gets out of the shower, Stiles is gone.

_______________________________________

"Stiles, I get it, ok?

"I'm not so sure you do," Stiles says from the sofa.

"But I understand Jackson, too. You can't ask me to side with anybody," Scott says as he brings a soda for Stiles and a beer for himself. Stiles arrived two hours ago at his apartment and the topic of conversation hasn't changed that much.

"What did he say exactly?" Stiles takes the soda from Scott and opens it.

"Just what I told you on the phone. Derek told Jackson that you wanted the bite and Jackson said over his dead body. Derek tried to explain what you had told him but Jackson said he could fucking save it and left the meeting."

"God, I should've been there." Stiles rests his head on his hands over his knees. "This is so fucked up."

"You've just started your business. Everybody knows you have to be there extra hours. Nobody was surprised you didn't make it."

"Still, I hate missing meetings. Then shit like this happens and I can't even blame Derek because I never asked him not to mention it... but god," he sighs, "I just don't understand Derek sometimes... how the fuck didn't he think I wanted to be there when he told Jackson? Who the hell does that? He knows Jackson probably as well as I do and he just goes and blurts it out like that. God, I'm so upset I could --"

"Derek probably thought you were gonna tell Jackson after you told him." Because defending Derek is a hard job, but somebody has do it.

"Yeah, I would have, but work was crazy on Friday, and when I got home the last thing I wanted was to start an argument. All I wanted was to have some nice dinner with my boyfriend and go to bed. Besides, I thought I had time to talk to him on Saturday before the meeting. Then I had to go back on Saturday and, well..."

"Shit happened?"

"Yeah..." Stiles sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "Scott, why can't I be with someone... I don't know --"

"If you say normal I'm gonna have to throw you out..."

"Understanding. Why does he have to be so stubborn?"

"You're not being fair. I think he understands you better than anyone and that's why he needs you. That's why you need each other. You've been together for a long time. I..." Scott shakes his head. "I don't even know what you're doing here. You need to talk to him." He takes a sip of his beer. "Talk to him and sort it out. Being here is just stupid. We both know you're not gonna break up with him."

"Have you talked to him?" Stiles asks suspiciously.

Scott snorts and looks away from Stiles before looking back at him. "No." Voice firm. "No. I've not talked to him."

"Has he called you?"

(Continue on AO3)

#JAW2020 #stackson #stiles x jackson #jackson whittemore #all i saw was you

[halorocks1214]

the law of action

AO3 Link

Word Count: 10100

Summary: The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions, and words

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here! | Virgil | Scott | Gordon

these just keep getting longer fellas i dont understand how thats possible but it is. ALSO: REMEMBER IN ATTRACTION WHEN I MENTIONED THAT THESE WERE BEING WRITTEN OUT OF ORDER. HA, UH, KIND OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT I GUESS. but its here! johns pov chapter! im pretty satisfied with it, albeit a few kinks i wasnt really able to work out, so i hope you enjoy it too!

thanks again to @gumnut-logic for the prompts! "Where?" and lightning were this fic's choices. sad to see the last ones go away, but this was still a blast so thank you once more! also, just because the prompts are gone doesnt mean this series will be too ;3

Anger was a rare emotion for John Tracy.

It had to be. When dealing with the cold hard truth of data telling them something wasn't possible or dealing with annoying people who thought they knew better than him or dealing with people panicking in his ear because nobody expected the aftershock of an earthquake to be that bad, he didn’t have a choice. There were a lot of deals in life that had to be made and someone needed to play peacemaker, even if it wasn’t deserved.

It was true that he got the least angry out of his siblings, even compared to Virgil. Virgil might not get necessarily violent like Scott did, or threw caution to the wind like Gordon, or, hell, pulled off whatever John does when someone somehow manages puts him in a bad mood, but Virgil did get angry quite a lot. He just didn’t have as many blatant ways of showing it. John, on the other hand, didn’t have a lot of ticks. Pet peeves, definitely, John was no stranger to annoyance (especially with siblings like his), but not outright anger.

That didn’t mean he never got angry. He was Tracy born and bred, so that meant one the few ticks he did have surrounded the topic of family.

Specifically, his family being threatened.

John wished he was the youngest sometimes. That meant he could say things like let Scott punch the idiot already, he’d be doing the world a favor, and not get lambasted for the immature response. It also meant he could throw tantrums to hell and back and not feel like a total loser.

Like right now for example.

“EOS, I swear, if you don’t open the elevator door for me--”

“No, I won’t.”

Unbelievable.

Groaning and rubbing his face, his hands found their way up to his forehead and through his hair, holding his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. His eyes had many emotions in them, the most blatant being this shit cannot be happening right now, “EOS, do you know you’re amazing? I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

EOS whirled for a moment, “John, I’ve seen that grin on Gordon. I cannot believe you would stoop that low.”

The grin she pointed out fell flat off his face, “Yeah, okay, you’re right about that--”

“Like I always am.”

“--So thank you,” John was going to strangle whoever defined sass so thoroughly in the dictionary. It left a bad example, “For the reminder, but seriously, I need to get up to ‘Five. It’s… important.”

It’s been a week since Alan was taken.

They’ve exhausted all options.

The only thing that could possibly get him back to them had to be International Rescue’s resources.

But EOS over here wasn’t getting the memo. Her words had that hint of childish innocence behind it. In that way that said there was no innocence whatsoever and she knew exactly what she was doing, the little shit, “John, do you really need to, or do you want to?”

There’s the inflection that John taught her. An inhale through the nose and… Uuuugghh, “EOS, I know the difference between needs and wants, this is definitely a need.”

Another lens blink, another moment of disbelief, “It seems like you have a lot of needs, John Tracy.”

John grimaced and ground his jaw together, mumbling his grievances with the current situation, “Yeah, well, if there’s any trait I truly share with my siblings, it’s that we’re all high maintenance.” His next words were more clear and designed to get the point across, “EOS, I’m not kidding, unlock the door.”

EOS stood her ground, “John, you going up there is one of the most detrimental things to you’re health at the current moment. I won’t let you.”

John threw his hands into the air, “EOS, there’s are whole lotta things that are currently detrimental to my health currently happening, one more thing won’t hurt.”

EOS lens shuttered again and John felt like it was nails on a chalkboard, “You have a point, but I’ve seen you with Scott when he’s in a similar mood. Don’t you tell him he needs to take a moment and think when he gets like this?”

John groaned as quietly as possible. Not too loud, but loud enough that EOS hopefully got the point, “Yes, I do, but I’m not Scott. We are two very different people, you have pointed this out numerous times. We have different ways of handling things, this, and ‘Five is exactly how I can fix this problem.”

That was not how he should’ve worded that. Her lights flickered in sympathy, sympathy, and he knew she finally figured out what John was trying to get at, “John, there may still be a lot I have to learn, but at least I understand--”

“No, EOS!” John snapped before he could help himself. Before she could finish explaining her point of view that was most likely right, but his desperate brain didn’t want to hear it. His brain that was running on zero energy telling him this was taking too long, fix that, “You can’t understand!”

Just like that, John was reminded of why he hated getting angry.

As soon as the words left his mouth, so did the air in his lungs. Through sheer will and determination, the only thing that didn’t leave his body was the little amounts of food he ate over the past seven days, though it really wanted to. He became very pale, and EOS could detect the not-so-trace amounts of fear that fell over his eyes.

Dammit, you idiot. Months upon that past year of work were now going to go down the drain because you blew your lid just this once! First, the call with Alan, now telling the one thing that could kill you in your sleep she’ll never essentially be good enough was--

“I know, John.”

His food came back with a vengeance, but he was bullheaded as hell, and he already caused enough damage. The last thing anyone needed was to clean up vomit. It would’ve been nicer if she got angry at him. He could handle being thrown out into space. He couldn’t handle EOS admitting he was right, least of all over blatantly cruel words.

He channeled the energy his stomach wanted to use into weak words, “E-EOS, I…” What the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry surely wasn’t going to fucking cut it.

Well, whatever he wanted to cut didn’t come up, as EOS continued as if John wasn’t the worst thing on the planet, “I’ve been doing some reading. I understand that I’ll never really understand certain human-based things like you do. You, humans, have gotten close, me being one of the better examples, as long as that’s not considered bragging, but even I’m not at that level yet. But I do at least know you and your habits. I put up with them on a daily basis.”

Because if there’s anything else John needed to fail this week, it was the one promise he made to her. His promise to keep her safe, to make sure she wasn’t treated like a mindless robot by some crazy scientists ready and willing to cut her circuitry wide open like a middle-school science project. While he would never even get close to being a quote-on-quote crazy scientist, never in a million light-years, he surely didn’t follow that middle part of his promise, “EOS, listen, I--”

“Please, John,” and now she was pleading, thinking he was going to ask to use the elevator again. Thinking he wasn’t going to give up, even after all of that. John might’ve laughed if it wasn’t his fucking fault, “I’ll help look for more options if it means you’ll stay here for a little while longer. You should stay with your family. I know how they affect you in those positive ways that you currently need.”

John was abruptly aware of his heavy, almost wheeze-like breathing. If he wasn’t careful, it could delve into one whopper panic attack, which would be so great right now, “Y-Yeah, okay. They probably won’t understand the effects of gravity over an elongated period of time like I do, so I can stay and help with that, at least. Thank you.”

As John turned around, he heard EOS whisper to herself. He could blearily tell it was actually fondness that filled her vocal waves for once, but it still stung regardless, “Idiot.”

Yeah, he really was, wasn’t he.

As he helped look over his Dad’s med-scan with Virgil, when Virgil went looking for something on the other side of the room, his father whispered, “I know this is a bad question right about now, but, is there anything we can do for you? Maybe even I? You look dead on your feet.”

John could only reply to the first half of his father’s statement with a meek, “I don’t know anymore.”

---

16-year-old John Tracy was seated atop his roof, making sure he got the perfect view of the Big-Dipper.

He was hoping to spot a more exciting constellation when he first used his new telescope, but dangit! He was just so excited to get cracking right away! He just got back from his birthday party, Alan and Gordon snoozing in their rooms while Scott and Virgil secretly finished off the cake. That was okay. John was too busy focusing on his new expensive toy to worry about having any more sweets.

His dad could pull some strings when it counted.

Newest model. The only other people who have this baby are scientists at NASA. Happy birthday, John. Sorry I didn’t get you a car like Scott.

Fuck cool cars. John would be on cloud 9 for days with this thing. Scott would call him a nerd for it. Jokes on Scott, he couldn’t zoom about 10 thousand miles into space now, could he?

Right as he nailed it, the world shook. Large arms snaked around his waist and he involuntarily found himself giggling at the contact. As soon as those limbs let go, he blushed at his reaction and cleared his throat. Suddenly, the arms were an entire body sitting down right next to him, speaking with their ever-comforting burly voice, “Hiya, son, I see you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, John turned back into his serious, analytical self once more, “Yup, this thing’s crazy. I’m glad I got out here as quickly as I did.”

Jeff simply grinned. John was always reserved, but Jeff was a good translator for all of his sons, and he could tell that John meant this is one of the best things in my life holy crap, “That’s great to hear. The look on your face when I brought this out of the closet was certainly good enough to last me a few lifetimes.”

John snorted, “I bet it was. I heard Gordon joking about it with Alan. I don’t think I need to see any pictures anymore. I have a pretty good mental image of what I looked like.”

Jeff smiled and sighed, “No kidding. “Like a goldfish with a broken jaw.” Not the most eloquent, that Gordon is.”

Laughter rang out throughout the roof, followed by a few moments of silence. Not awkward, but not really welcomed on John’s part either, “Do you…” Stop it, John, you’re asking for too much, “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Jeff tilted an eyebrow, “Oh, is it? I guess you would know if something were smart or dumb, so I trust your judgment.”

Dangit, Dad, why are you so manipulative, and why are you so good at it, “I don’t know. I’ve established I wanted to be an astronaut, right?”

Jeff nodded, “Mmhmm.”

John, for some reason, felt like he needed to tread carefully, “You are also an astronaut. If there was any way for you to be able to… could you… could you come up with me the first time?”

Jeff blinked in shock, and before his son could register that as disapproval, “Huh, well, that’s certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Now it was John’s turn to blink, his mouth gaped, “Wait, what? Are you serious? Aren’t there rules for this kind of stuff?”

Jeff shrugged, his shoulders clearly saying rules shmules, “I’m also one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet itself, and one of the most renowned ex-astronauts there are. You would not believe the lengths people are willing to go to kiss my ass. Would you feel better if I pinky promised?”

John’s nose scrunched, “You can never truly promise anything, you know.”

His father chuckled, used to his son’s antics. John was reserved, remember, “Well, you boys always credited me with doing the impossible.”

John continued challenging him, “When we were all less than 10, yeah, sure. I think Alan still thinks you can breathe in space. You. Specifically. No one else. I think he said you only wore the helmet to “protect your secret so the evil movie scientists don’t take you away.””

Chuckles turned into laughter and a clap on John’s shoulder, “Well, glad to see I still got the magic touch at least.” That same arm that playfully smacked him was now wrapped around his shoulders, “Just you wait, Johnny boy, if I can’t get on that ship with you, then you bet your ass I’ll at least be the loudest one cheering in the crowd.”

Then, suddenly, John was right, like he always was.

A promise that never should have been made: broken. A wish never fulfilled.

Dad was swallowed up by the very thing John loved.

No more space stories, no more fun moon facts, there was a void in John’s life as big as the galaxy itself, and he wasn’t sure how to walk around it, or God forbid even into it.

He tried to be the healthy sibling about it. He tried so hard. Getting through high school quicker than most so he could just worry about his family. Scott and Grandma were doing their best, and in so many ways, it was enough, but even they couldn’t bear all of the stress themselves.

But then his high school graduation came and Grandma gave him one of the biggest hugs of his and her life and he realized that he would never get one from his father again. His mom leaving this world was already bad enough, but at least his dad was there and knew how to fill in the gap after years and years of his marriage with her. You didn’t marry a woman like Lucille Tracy and not fundamentally understand how the gears in her brain turned lest you were truly insane. Maybe Dad was. Certainly would explain a lot of things from John’s perspective. Certainly would explain why she married him in the first place. Crazy attracts crazy.

Regardless, the one thing closest to his mom’s warmth and care was gone, and if he spent the night of his graduation party quietly sobbing his eyes out while the others slept, well, then he was glad they kept snoring.

Try as he might, he became just as unhealthy and unbalanced as the rest of his family, but he was more subtle about it. His self-destructive ways weren’t bad if other people had them, but when it came to him, oh, he knew it was the worst thing he could do in terms of recovery. That’s probably why the rest of the family didn’t notice (Good). John was smart, he would know better. Yes, he did, which is exactly why he dived headfirst right into it all.

Focusing on college, getting up into the star-filled void closer to his dead relatives as quickly as possible, focusing on the here-and-now to make sure this shit didn’t happen again. Making sure no family went through what theirs did.

And maybe that’s why, why he couldn’t handle the touch of others wanting to comfort him. Because it reminded him too much of what they used to have, of what they used to be. Too many hugs and kisses from others might wash away what his mom’s and dad’s felt like, and out of all the things they could potentially lose from this, those were the worst possible ones.

John was a Tracy, which meant he was stubborn.

He wasn’t going to lose the last few things he remembered about his parents if he could help it.

---

It had been just under a month, and John finally got what he wanted.

And it wasn’t working like he thought it would, if at all.

He’s been on ‘Five for three days, and for just a fleeting moment, it washed away any uncertainty. He felt back in control, if only minorly, and he held the world at his fingertips once more. Too bad the world he wanted to fix was so far away it felt like it was on the other side of the frickin solar system itself.

He promised his family four days at most. Please, just one chance. We won’t know unless we try. He wasn’t sure what cracked them first, them coming upon dead end after dead end, them finally seeing reason behind John’s argument, or if they just got annoyed with the space monitor after endless nagging and relented like tired parents.

The tiny part of John’s mind that still allowed him to joke kinda hoped it was the third option. “Easy child”, pfft. John’ll show them.

Right, right, a clear head, the most focused of IR, he can’t get unfocused or go too far off track. He’s saved many lives throughout his life, all of them thanks to his level head, but right now, he was arguably saving the most important life of all, so that meant he had even more incentive to stay focused.

In fact, he was so focused, he jumped at the sudden, feminine voice filling the room, “John, I found another article I think you would like to see about most common places criminals… John?”

Crap, he was halfway into the fetal position. Slowly uncurling, John nodded, “Oh, thank you, EOS. I’ll start reading it shortly.”

The noise of her lens adjusting sounded throughout ‘Five again, “Of course. Let me know if you would like me to start searching for a different topic, though. There has to be a limit to how many “You wouldn’t believe this” articles one can take, and I think I’m finding it really quickly.”

For the next few seconds, John was suddenly filled with a rush of determination he had been trying to get after their little confrontation in front of a locked elevator door to ‘Five.

She had been helping him out so much the past couple of weeks. Running unnecessary tests for him, searching parts of the web only she could search without getting tracked by some secret mafia, letting him know it was okay if he couldn’t get everything right the first time when two months ago she snapped at him for getting a simple algebra equation wrong due to lack of sleep. She had been especially patient with him recently, even after their little spat in the hangar, and John wasn’t sure how to process it. A tiny part wanted to resort to anger again because he clearly didn’t deserve her, but the more prevalent parts preferred something like depression or even apathy.

She had been making sure his world didn’t spin off its axis, and John couldn’t even tell her sorry until now.

“EOS, I’m sorry.”

She stopped moving, turned around and let her lights blink yellow for only a moment, “For what, John?”

The man in question waved his hands around in front of his face, lost, confusing her more. With a sigh, he explained, “For a lot of things, but mainly from a few weeks back when we had that argument. I said something that wasn’t okay, and I didn’t have the balls to own up to it until now. So, I’m sorry. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been near.”

For a little bit, it was quiet. John waited as the A.I. contemplated his words. Then, she spoke her judgment, “Well, I know you are. You haven’t exactly been working off your butt over nothing, right? Plus, reliable sources say one of the ways guilt manifests is anger. I’ve seen that with the rest of your family. It would make sense yours would too.”

John blinked. Part of him was expecting her to not fully understand why he was apologizing, but the other wanted her to just so he could get over this, just so he could let go of even just the teeniest amount of guilt he had, “EOS, anger isn’t a valid excuse. What I said was wrong. I don’t believe those words and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of this partnership is to show you that there’s more to life than just calculations and probabilities. It’s kind of hard to see that when the one person who promised to be different went and screwed it up anyway.”

John hoped EOS was at least questioning things now instead of letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Her next words said she was doing exactly the latter, “Okay. I don’t disagree with you, John, but I don’t know why you’re so hooked on this. I understand. We don’t have to worry about this unnecessarily anymore.”

Yes, you do understand. That’s the fucking point.

They weren’t getting anywhere, yet John didn’t even have the energy to groan in annoyance. He could even get his eyebrow to twitch.

All he could do was simply lean his head back against the wall and let his hair stick up against it like static electricity was flowing through it. The real reason it was sticking up was probably due to a mixture of Zero-Gs and grease from all of the showering he hasn’t been doing, however. His eyes had deep rings around them, and for a second, EOS thought about how relative age could be as a number while John softly spoke, “The Hood was an angry man, too, you know. He felt slighted by our family and wanted us to feel the same. It still doesn’t make what he did right.”

EOS thought about his words before coming to a logical conclusion, “Well, that’s certainly a leap in logic. There’s a big gap between simply yelling because you’re annoyed and literal kidnapping. One gives people a sour mood, the other gives them a significant amount of jail--”

“Yes, EOS, I’m aware of that,” John brought his hand to his face, but underneath it was a grin, telling the world that he was feeling fond exasperation more than anything. EOS was more obtuse than him sometimes. It was one of the few things of himself he wished she didn’t copy so easily. He sighed and brought his hand back down, “I’m just... putting things into perspective. I want you to see why my words were wrong. It would make me feel better if you did.”

EOS hung still, letting John’s admission roll over her wiring like a wave of electricity, “You have a lot of needs and wants. What takes precedent?”

More inflection. This time, John welcomed it. It gave him something to stand on. John wanted a lot of things. Alan to be home safe and sound, Dad to have not disappeared for nearly a decade, for his brothers to stop slowly killing themselves, for himself to stop, but the needs of the many, even the needs of one, outweigh the wants of a singular man like him, but, “Well, needs obviously, they’re necessary, however… it’s okay to be selfish every once in a blue moon. It doesn’t make you inherently bad.”

It was advice he parroted many-a-times to his family, some of them more often than others, seldom to himself if at all.

Scott, it’s okay if you have to tell them you can’t make this business conference.

Virgil, you can count inventory in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep last night either.

Gordon, if you can’t smile for a day or two, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Kayo, you don’t have to patrol every night. We have security cams for a reason.

Alan, I know we tease you, but you missing a chore or two isn’t the end of the world.

Grandma, you already do enough for us, you barely cooking for us is the least of our worries.

That last one might be more for the rest of his family than not, but hey, two birds and one stone. Keeping his back against the wall, John stood up straighter against it, face suddenly serious, “In fact, wanting to be selfish is one of the best ways to tell that you’re human. You can’t escape it. It only becomes bad when you end up only being that.”

EOS sat in silence, her lens flickering in that way it always does when she was signifying she was about to pass judgment like a Goddess, which she seemed to be doing a lot more recently, “Well then… If I’m allowed one moment of self-reprieve, I suppose I should say that those words did… hurt.”

John grimaced despite very much understanding that he deserved it. The return of the inflection didn’t exactly help. Pushing himself away from the wall, he felt the metaphorical weight fall off his shoulders, “Yes, they did, and while they weren’t okay, it is okay to say that they weren’t. I still am very sorry.”

EOS adjusted her camera, probably to stall for time, “I know you are, John. I still forgive you, but am I correct in assuming I’m allowed some time to… recover isn’t the word I’m looking for, but--”

“Yes, EOS,” John helped her explain her own point, “Recover is a good word. You’re allowed that if you want it.”

John wasn’t sure how, but it seemed like EOS visibly relaxed, “Thank you, then, for letting me do that. This.”

For some reason, John did too, “Of course.”

It was a soft kind of awkward silence, where both parties had something on their mind but they weren’t entirely sure if they wanted to say it out loud. This is why EOS appreciated John more than the others, he simply let silence be silence. It allowed her time to think, unlike how Scott and Virgil kept asking questions, or how that awful duo made noises and messes only to have a chance at making people laugh. As if that was the most important thing they needed to do.

The nights the youngest called John were endless with his constant babbling that tended to grate her circuit boards. The only reason she let it happen was that John seemed to loosen up at the interaction. He became less weary, less worried-filled. He seemed to greatly enjoy the audial presence of Alan Tracy, let alone the way he lit up when the youngest actually showed up in person. It was just unfortunate that it seemed like the kid could never keep his mouth shut.

Then again… from what John said, the whole reason there wasn’t any more Alan was because he did keep it shut. At the worst moment possible. Now there wouldn’t be any more babbling period. Alan was gone, and the whole family was suffering from the new silence. EOS reasoned it was from the general idea of forced silence instead of just freely being able to leave the room or being able to tell him to quiet down, but maybe it was more than that. She could make another list of options to consider.

Plus, it was weird to think about a future where all of those video game walkthroughs she was forced to save would never be used again. John insisted that they weren’t just wastes of megabytes, so...

Hmm.

“Could you…” EOS trailed off, and before John could comprehend the unusual behavior of the A.I., she started speaking again, “Could you tell me more about Alan? I’m starting to think I judged him rather harshly.”

John took a moment to register her words and promptly snorted, “Well, most of your assumptions about him aren’t entirely unfounded, but that’s one of the joys of being an older sibling, I guess. Surprises around every corner,” there was regret in her voice and John knew he had to treat this as gently as he would a newborn child otherwise he would never hear it again.

EOS flickered, “I thought you didn’t like surprises.”

Uh, “Well, not usually, but there are a few from time to time that I could look back on and call them… quaint, in a sense.” Suddenly, a memory resurfaced, and John found himself grinning like he was doped up on nitrous oxide, “Yeah, they can have good surprises occasionally…”

It was a week before his next rotation. Scott would be back home in about three days, which allowed the second born to actually have a few moments with his only older brother. He was looking forward to it just as much as Scott was. Right now, though, he had to make sure he got the right angle.

Right as he did, he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps come up the ladder, and when he turned around, he was met with a bundle of freckles, “Oh, hey Alan.”

Hi, Johnny, the kid squirmed out, Is it okay if I sit next to you?

At first, a list of things wanted to fill John’s head. You look dead on your feet, you should be asleep, you have a lot going on this week so why are you wasting sleep? but instead of any of those filling the void that was his brain, John simply nodded, “Yeah, sure, come pop a squat, Sprout.”

John looked away right before he could watch Alan’s nose wrinkle in displeasure. Despite the usage of the nickname (that Alan secretly liked, don’t think you could pull that wool over our eyes, little bro), the kid still toddled over and flopped himself down right next to his older brother. Sighing, the kid leaned his head on John’s arm and absentmindedly stared out into space, both figuratively and literally. Satisfied his brother was comfy, John went back to his current objective.

As John examined the night sky, he also carefully looked over Alan out of the corner of his eye. Every bruise that John could see was finally dulling out into that familiar greyish-yellow as bruises do, and the sight was enough to calm any negative emotion being created from the reminder. John refocused on his telescope to help as well.

The kid had been through one hell of a week, bullies being their typical selves. Every Tracy outside of Scott and Gordon had their fair share of their own experiences with nasty people, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve left their special kind of blue-and-black marks, but seeing it on Alan was… worse, somehow. Virgil had unsavory anonymous notes at ‘best’, and John knew first hand that their hits bruised more than just physical skin. So to see Alan get the same treatment and not say anything...

John was starting to understand why his older brother greyed so easily.

Speaking of which, Scott was pretty peeved at the idea of not being there for Alan. Because of this, John made sure to be the sole one to call him and inform him of the awful news while the older brother was out at his designated Air Force base. John wanted to see with his own two eyes that Scott wouldn’t do anything rash and made himself liable to be put on some kind of list.

You would think he wouldn’t be that stupid, but the Tracys are known for breaking expectations over their sweet, sweet kneecaps.

(“Scott, you’re not going to steal an Air Force jet just to come and beat up some dumb kids.”

“Watch me.”

“They’re only a year older than Alan.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen, we already scarred them enough as it is, let alone their expulsions. Grandma’s threats to the adults were liable for a government-mandated therapist, Virgil just being there had them running for the hills, the computer I was sporting sent chills down their spines and throughout the hallways, and that’s not even to mention Gordon’s threats to the kids themselves. Seriously, where would a 15-year-old even get the tools to do that?”

Scott visibly relaxed at John’s point, but he still sat a little taut, not fully accepting the idea of people being cruel enough to hurt a literal ray of sunshine, “Fine, fine, I still want to talk to the kid over a call at some point. He was the one who dealt with those idiots.”

John’s shoulders deflated, “Yeah, you got me there. He’ll be back with Virgil and Gordon soon enough, you can see him then.”

Scott smiled in a way that washed away the greys in his hair, if only for a moment, “Awesome, I--”

John wasn’t completely done, “But I’m going to be with Alan while you talk to him. I don’t trust you to not be in search-and-destroy mode, and the last thing Alan needs is an angry you with no buffer. Besides, I’m pretty sure we have the same questions. I can play the angsty-Scott translator tonight. Usual fee, 10 bucks each word.”

The groan that managed to fill the whole house despite the tiny speakers was one John would never forget.)

Too lost in thought, John didn’t catch Alan’s movements at first. Leaning away from his telescope, John focused on Alan, “Sorry, Allie, did you say something?”

The child simply shrugged and smushed his chubby cheeks against John’s side, shaking his head, followed by his hands, I just wanted to see what you were doing.

Ah, that made sense. Alan had been continuously signing for the past year because of the obvious, so John rolled with the punches. It was always funny when they talked about these years in the future. Alan talked, Alan said, Alan brought up: it was always metaphorical, and nobody could believe them when they said Alan was fluent in ASL, let alone because he could actually go half a day without talking.

It was ironic because even with no words, Alan still managed to be the loudest thing on the planet. His hands always screamed with excitement whenever he felt like ‘talking’, and no brother ever felt like shutting him up. Especially when it was so easy for Alan to simply not shake his hands to hide the fact that he was in trouble--

Right, don’t go there. John shook his head to bring himself out of his thoughts and replied to the non-verbal admission, “Just looking at the stars. Recording their coordinates and whatnot.”

A small gasp had John jerking immediately away from his scope to see Alan suddenly very worried, maybe even fearful, But won’t you lose your eyes?!

Aha, what? “Allie, you’re going to have to give me more than that.”

John almost didn’t catch what Alan was trying to explain with the way he frantically shook his hands even faster than before, Mrs. Gatsen explained to us that the sun was a star too, but we’re not allowed to look at it for too long because it’ll steal our eyes! I don’t want you to lose your eyes, Johnny!

Ohoho, the part of John’s brain that was all about the smartsy stuff was gearing up to have a full-blown seminar of sorts, but the way the kid seemed so sincere in his worry, in his fear, John felt partially bad for giggling instead, “Oh, Allie, no. Here,” John was activating his inner Virgil and Scott with the way he grabbed the youngster and placed him in his lap, “Yes, the sun is a star, but there are many kinds of stars. Most of which don’t hurt your eyes. Take a look.”

Alan gave one last sentimental look at John, who nodded again just to reassure the blonde before the boy gulped and put his eye against the tool like Johnny did. This time, the gasp that came from him was more magical, more child-like, as it always should be. John watched on as the kid became stuck to his telescope like glue.

Suddenly, Alan leaned back into John, somewhat knocking the wind out of him. Honestly, now that he was thinking about it, John realized he was pushing it by letting Alan sit next to him in terms of his personal comfort zone. He loved Allie just as much as the rest of the family, but letting them in, letting them get close, was veering dangerously close to that specific ‘hug’ territory like he and his parents had.

Before John could explain that in a child-friendly way, and hopefully in a way where the too-smart-for-his-own-good kid couldn’t pick up on the hidden message, Alan looked him directly in the eyes and confidently signed his wants, Can we do this more often? Can we?

Just like that, John’s mind blanked. Alan wanted to do something with him. Not swim with Gordon, not music with Virgil, not do, well, anything with Scott, Allie found something that he would like to do with John.

Huh, interesting, “Yeah, sure. If we can’t do it in the next week, then the first thing we’ll do when I come down is stargaze, because that’s what it’s called: stargazing.”

Alan started gripping his arm tighter and leaned more into his chest, nodding vigorously at the news and looking back to the sky with newfound wonder. Letting Alan be, abruptly forgetting his grievances with things like touch, John went back to his telescope. After another minute or so, John reached a point where he needed both sides of his body, except it looked like one of them was going to be kept immobile unless the spaceman said something to Alan.

John tried doing just that, just without looking away from his device, “Hey, Allie, I don’t mind the sitting-in-my-lap and stuff, but I do need my arm back to--”

Snoring.

Oh.

Jerking his head to physically look at his sibling, John found Alan passed out and squeezing his arm like a freckled koala bear. The ginger flinched a little bit at the drool dripping onto his sleeve, but the way Allie melted into him made him-- actually, he was very suddenly aware that this whole night he hadn’t really been thinking at all, and that thought made him continue to stare mindlessly at the dozing brother.

He always thought about, well, everything. What he was going to say, what he planned to do tomorrow, about what the future held now that they were down their second and last parent. If he didn’t think about it beforehand, he rarely did it. He had to make sure he went through all of his options before haphazardly jumping into the pits of hell.

Yet the way his younger brother looked at him like he was the world himself tonight made John throw all of his training to be as cautious as possible out the window in a need to comfort and care for the small thing in front of him.

It was shocking to his mind, yet he didn’t resent just being able to do without worrying too much. Was this how smother complexes started? Did he ever drool on Scott’s arm? Still staring at Alan, John’s mind continued to be robotic as he simply let his younger brother be and went back to his telescope. Alan had been needing to get a little more sleep lately anyway.

Yeah, it was fine. He could figure out how to follow up on his words later. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out a way to squeeze Alan into some of his already-planned stargazing nights while making sure the kid still got sleep. Also, John’s used telescopes wearing a cast and sling before, he might prefer two arms, but he has been okay with only one.

If Grandma yelled at John for spending too much time on the roof again, well, she would have to get over it. Alan got an extra hour of sleep and that was all that mattered.

EOS watched as John finished the story. Once he was done, he continued to be quiet while grinning at nothing. All he was doing was simply staring at the floor… It was slightly creepy, and EOS cleared her nonexistent throat, “Huh, I didn’t realize he got a lot of his interests from you. Maybe… maybe you could show me why he did. He can too. More perspectives always get more data.”

John blinked and was immediately taken out of his trance. He brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat, “Yeah, he-- wait, what?”

EOS sighed. This is another reason why she snapped him out of it; his inability to listen to someone right in front of him. She simplified her words, “If Alan comes back, can you two take me stargazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what the stars look like down there, or, at least, I never looked at them long enough to understand what you all find to be so fascinating about them.”

John blinked a few more times with his mouth slightly gaped. He looked around nervously before bringing his turquoise eyes to look EOS directly in the middle of her camera, “Yeah, sure, EOS. When Alan gets back, that’s the first thing we’ll do.”

EOS didn’t mention anything about the correction of if to when, “Thank you, John, I would like that very much.”

John nodded and floated back to his tech, “Of course. Now then, we’ve got work to do. I’ve been meaning to stargaze recently anyway.”

He still had one more day up here.

And a baby brother who needed saving.

How hard could it be?

---

Very.

Growling in frustration, he thumped his fist against the wall next to him rather harshly.

Not enough to leave any kind of mark or dent, but enough for him to focus on the tiny amount of pain it gave him. He vaguely heard EOS’s lens flare at the sudden noise, but he was a little too focused on why he felt the need to hit his girl.

It was the end of the last day, and he didn’t make it any further like he thought he would.

Some bleak part of his mind was hoped, prayed that his girl would have the tools to find their baby brother. He was willing to bend her entire satellite to be able to reach the far ends of the galaxy if he had to, but even he had to concede that she wasn’t enough. The Hood wasn’t dumb, unfortunately, and he wasn’t going to go easy on them. That is if he was even going “to go” on them to start with.

While it wasn’t the first time he failed spectacularly, this failure certainly hurt the worst.

Half of him wanted to curl up into a ball and forget everything for a moment (or maybe forever), but the other half won out in terms of what his body contorted into. Instead of curling up like a prickly hedgehog, he leaned backward to be floating with his back to the ground and his face to the ceiling with his face in his hands. Meanwhile, EOS silently gazed from her camera in the corner. Watching John struggle this way was… new, and it twisted her wires in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe.

EOS watched him mumble something. Huh, peculiar as ever. Adjusting her camera, she tried small talk, “What was that, John?”

Still mumbles, but more intelligible, “... I need to drop the ‘s’.”

A flicker of yellow, nothing but pure confusion for once in her robotic life, “The ‘s’ of what?”

Suddenly, the astronaut was standing (well, floating) upright with a look of disdain, but EOS could see that it wasn’t meant for her, “Of ‘she’. It’s not ‘Five’s fault, God, it never is, but maybe… maybe it’s mine.”

All of her programs should allow her to say something. Anything, sugarcoated or not, would be beneficial to this seemingly one-sided conversation, but this was the moment she learned that humans could be faster than computers since John steamrolled right to the point without hesitation, “He wasn’t good enough sounds better. Nothing I’m doing is getting any results. I gave my family false hope that I would find something and now I have to go to them and essentially break them. They were already barely holding it together as it was, but when the “smart one” in their family says there’s nothing he can do…”

She found herself going against the logical part of her program-- because despite the idiot John Tracy could be, when he made an argument that had any kind of evidence you never could go against it-- the first time in, well, ever, in an attempt to comfort her partner, “John… I think you’re grasping at straws here.”

He looked up from the floor, and EOS had to shrink her lens at the sight of unshed tears in his eyes, “Who was the one that called him?! Me! He was standing there only a few rooms over, probably terrified out of his mind, and I didn’t know. I let him slip between our fingers because I was so caught up in the moment and I hate myself for it.”

EOS found herself speechless for once, and the few droplets of tears that floated in front of John’s face didn’t help. She had been trying her best recently, especially recently, to understand the fluctuations of human emotion, and she was pretty sure she had decent tabs on at least John nowadays, but this was something unexpected, a thing her programming never really liked to deal with. It involved lots of new calculations and new sims, why, it made things seconds longer when they didn’t have the time to deal with it!

Her electronic voice box made a noise with the intent to say something, as she thought she finally had the time to deal with it, but just her luck, more unexpected things made her reapproach the issue at hand, “John, look out! The Chaos Crew!”

Blinking out of his self-deprecation train, John was uncharacteristically panicking, “What, where?” After doing a full 180, John eventually saw one of his comm radios with the familiar pink symbol floating above it.

John’s pupils shrunk and his eyebrows tilted downward in that unfamiliar emotion: anger.

Fuck this.

The mood change was as fast as the speed of lightning. John practically flung himself to the communication device on something akin to a warpath. No longer regretful or depressed, John was filled to the brim with fury at the sight of one of the men that was a constant thorn in the Tracy family’s side, “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you--”

“Wait wait wait!” Fuse pleaded, making John momentarily pause enough to listen, “I’m not good at this like my sister is, so this connection is going to drop soon. I need you to reopen the line yourself so I can explain what I’m here for! Trust me, I swear I’m not--”

Zip.

Blinking at the lack of noise, John slowly turned his head to look at his A.I. to get her opinion on the matter. It wasn’t a positive one, that’s for sure. Her dots were bright red, and for the first time in a while, he found himself flinching at the sight and sound of her, “It wouldn’t take much of me to get rid of the nuisance, you know.”

Taking a few deep breaths, John shook his head, “No, EOS, give me a sec. Don’t send him careening into space.”

Yet.

With shaky hands, John did as Fuse begged and found the comm line the guy haphazardly threw together. Right as Fuse jumped at the sight of one of the Tracys actually hearing him out, John’s voice spoke coldly, “You have five minutes. Go.”

Fuse gulped, “W-Well, I suppose the first thing to do would be to apologize. I’ve caused a lot of messes for you and your family-- heh, ‘messes’ probably doesn’t even come close to explaining what I did-- and I realize that now, so I want to--”

Ah, that tactic. The one where they try so desperately to seem like they were repentant. John wasn’t familiar with it, but Scott sure was. Shady business owners trying to shy away from their consequences made the eldest very aware of how slimy those in power could be. Scott complained about it a lot, so John made sure to always remember it just in case he ever ran into it himself.

Preplanning wins again in the Tracy household. You should listen to John’s advice more, Gordon, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” John muttered mostly to himself and moved in a way that signified something was going to happen.

Fuse sputtered and stopped immediately. Crap, he was going about this wrong. These were all things he was suddenly genuine about, he really was, but the Tracys didn’t want useless apologies at the moment, and he understood that. Hopefully, he didn’t understand it too late. Right before John could do anything to him or give any kind of command to his satellite, Fuse blurted the information he should’ve said the first place, “I know where he is!”

John felt like the Earth flew right off its axis.

Everything froze, including EOS. His hand was out in front of him for some reason, probably subconsciously reaching for some kind of button, as he absentmindedly listened to the whirl of ‘Five and his brain fully processed what Fuse was promising, “... What?”

John was keenly aware that sounding so weak, so hopeful, was something that Fuse could spinelessly abuse if the man wanted to, but John had a good lie detector. The words that fumbled out of half The Chaos Crew’s mouth were sounding good, great, and John could tell that he wasn’t bullshitting anything, “I know where he’s keeping your bro. I mean… shit, what The Hood did wasn’t right, maybe it never was, but I know this specifically is--” a break in his speech in an attempt to words things better. Fuse failed, “Bad. I just…”

John’s head involuntarily tilted at the way Fuse trailed off. For once in his life, John was at a loss. This was highly uncharacteristic from what John had seen of The Chaos Crew, and the astronaut was so flabbergasted he couldn’t even begin to come up with any possible ulterior motive behind Fuse’s actions at the moment.

Suddenly, Fuse looked back up with big eyes, almost reminding John of Alan a little bit. Not in the obvious ways, because Fuse was on the verge of seven feet tall and built like a truck whereas Alan was the teeniest thing on the planet, but… John could see similar traits of innocence in them. The eyes of someone desperately clinging onto the last few shreds of hope they had, but still ready to do what's right because of it. Because even if the light at the end of the tunnel was small it was still worth fighting for.

Fuse, seeing that John wasn’t going to say anything, bit the bullet, “I don’t know, call it selfish, call it smart, but if The Hood is willing to do something like this to someone so young, I… I don’t want to be apart of it. I can’t give any information about my sister, I’m no snitch, but I want out, even if it means spending the rest of my days in a GDF cell.”

John was suddenly aware of a burning question, “Wait, how old are you, Fuse?”

A tired sigh, aging Fuse to something that was probably three times what he was going to say, “I turn 20 in two weeks.”

John sharply inhaled, “Jesus, I… I didn’t realize you were that young.”

A lot of things made sense quickly and abruptly like they always do for the ginger.

If The Hood was willing to do this to someone so young, that didn’t stop him from doing this to someone like Fuse. The logical conclusion the now ‘ex-villain’ made probably danced the wildest jig in his head, and before anyone could clap their hands, he got as far away as possible. John wouldn’t be surprised if The Hood made idle threats for not following orders or for “being stupid”, so Fuse had every right to feel threatened.

Jeez, he was probably terrified at the implication. A dark, buried part of John selfishly thought good, it sucks you had to learn the hard way, but now you see why we all hate him, but the first thing that came to his mind was something unexpected yet expected all the same.

John was reminded of Alan again.

Except Alan had four older brothers to run to when the monsters got too big or too frightening.

…

Scott was going to kill him, “Park her over on the left and come in. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Bring inside whatever you think will help.”

EOS’s shrill John! ringed throughout the room, yet it was overruled swiftly. Fuse’s mouth was wide open, “For real?”

John couldn’t tell if he was losing the knots in his stomach or forming completely new ones, “Yes. Don’t do anything funny, though. I have eyes everywhere.”

Fuse gulped again, yet he was very business-like with his next words, “Of course.”

The line cut a millisecond before John wanted it to. John knew exactly why, “Listen, EOS--”

EOS was suddenly in his face, and it spoke miles at how far she’s come that she wasn’t blaring any alarms in anger, “No, you listen, John Tracy. I cannot believe the level of ignorance you are displaying!”

Gordon always joked about her being his daughter, but right now, John’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the feeling of being scolded by an overbearing mother, “I get this may seem like I’ve lost it--” jokes on EOS, who says he hasn’t at this point? “Listen, there’s nothing else left to go off of, and I know this makes me look like a crazy man desperate for information that might not even be there, but--”

“No buts!” EOS shrieked, “You told me that if you followed a sentence with a “but” that what you were about to say shouldn’t even be considered an option! What is making you throw all of my training out the window?!”

John’s mouth became very dry. This conversation was taking a very different turn, “Wait, EOS, why is this all about you suddenly--”

John was starting to regret giving her more mobility at the sight of her jamming her camera directly in his face even more, “It’s not just about me! This affects you too! You said you always based your decisions on the here-and-now, so I should too, so why am I the only one doing so?! You’ve seen what he’s capable of!”

John’s mind tended to be made of gears, and all of them began spinning at the same time. Dammit, he didn’t pick up on this because he didn’t even consider it a factor: EOS being scared. Hell, it wasn't even considered because the last time he remembered her being this scared was when she thought he was a threat during the first time they met (was it really that long ago?). She was scared that Fuse was going to hurt John like he hurt the rest of the astronaut’s family. Like he hurt Gordon.

The only difference is that nobody could get to John like they did Gordon, so that left the ginger at an impasse if the small chance that Fuse was here to hurt him came true.

John found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. Closing his eyes and struggling to get enough air in, he realized a fundamental problem. EOS was based on data and things that have been recorded, and so far, the only things recorded about Fuse was that he was hellbent on hurting the Tracy family, a family that John was apart of.

She didn’t know any other way to feel about the guy, she didn’t have any other example.

John would love to be that way too, honestly, to just focus on the data. Numbers never tended to be wrong, and the idea of being a simple number-crunching bot would make life a shit-ton easier, but he can’t. He’s human. One that’s very much willing to go against the numbers and probabilities if it meant helping his family.

A rarity for John, to follow his gut and nothing else, but at the end of the day, he was a Tracy, and following his gut was as familiar to him as it was to name all of the immediate constellations in the summer’s nighttime sky, “EOS, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, hell, I’m having trouble believing myself, but Fuse isn’t here to hurt me. The here-and-now is different for reasons I don’t have enough time to properly explain, okay? If there’s anything to believe, believe in the trust you have in me to make the right decision like I always do.”

EOS made no noise, not even a flicker of her lens. He expected her usual sass, something along the lines of, Who says I trust you, moron? but what he got punched away what little air he managed to collect, “... Do you promise?”

That was the million-dollar question. Of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t like making promises after the age of 12. Too many probabilities, too many what-ifs, made promises somewhat of a theoretical impossibility. But just like that night on the roof with Alan, John was able to not think, “I promise, EOS. You wanted to go stargazing with me and Alan, right? Fuse might be able to let us do that again.”

‘Family’ was a Wild Card. Nothing was possible, yet everything was at the same time when it came down to it. ‘Family’ was what made Scott go from day to day without keeling over. ‘Family’ was what got Virgil to sleep at night when he just couldn’t by himself. ‘Family’ was how Gordon managed to keep smiling and joking despite everything in the world trying to make him stop. Hell, ‘Family’ was how their father kicked the word impossible right in the groin and live.

‘Family’ might have been why Alan was stuck in such a shitty situation, but it was also the reason the kid was willing and able to go that far in the first place. He learned that selflessness from his ‘Family’, after all.

John was intent to use that fact to the fullest.

EOS’s lights blinked in contemplation before she quietly spoke once more, “Do I have permission to shock him if he makes even the slightest suspicious movement?”

John rolled his eyes yet grinned all the same, “Sure, only just a little voltage, though. Right in the ass. Would be a nice pick-me-up after all of this.”

Well, despite the year they’ve had, John wasn’t aware EOS could snort. Another sign things might be going right for once.

The door swwwshed open and Fuse floated into where the two hyper-intelligent beings were hanging about and got straight to the point, “Thank you. I hope… I hope I don’t let you down.”

John found himself light as air, and it wasn’t just the zero-gravity this time, “Sounds good. Let’s get cracking.”

While the first thing he did back on Earth was scare his father and his immediate younger brother shitless, the way they and the rest of the family lit up at the plan he and Fuse came up with (after making sure nobody killed the dude, which was surprisingly more difficult than expected, and boy was it expected) made it all worth it.

Well, maybe the sight of Fuse occasionally jumping and yelping at a strange pinch in his bottom with no known cause was worth it too. John wouldn’t tell his brothers that, though, he was the responsible one, remember?

You always made me look at things differently, EOS. Thank you.

#fabfivefeb #fabfivefeb2020 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #john tracy #alan tracy #eos #fuse thunderbirds #jeff tracy #my post #my fic #series: rules of alchemy

[seven-oomen]

First, I hope you’re enjoying your game.  One of my friends posted about how she’d just gotten her copy of it, and her husband’s response was basically “so, I’ll just bring you food occasionally and see you in a few days?"  Also, I hope you’re feeling better.  And man you are KILLING ME with these previews.  Oh god, Peter, what are you planning now?  How bad is this gonna hurt and for how long?  (Don’t answer that, I’m afraid to know. XD )

I think all those Hogwarts Houses are excellent choices.  I always think it’s fun to see how people sort various characters, because I rarely have any that I feel are firmly one House (maybe it’s because I’m a proud HuffleClaw, myself, doomed to waffle between Houses every time I take a quiz or read an analysis on the subject.)  Side not - can you imagine the furor that would have occurred about a Slytherin and a Gryffindor hooking up in Fourth Year (I think?), and then pulling an innocent little Hufflepuff transfer under their spell?  Would any of them have played Quidditch?  (Peter I feel definitely played, though I can’t decide what position.  Undecided on the other two.)

Poor Peter, having to behave himself.  Although debatably as long as he kept the fangs put away it wouldn’t necessarily be a risk, though I can see him being worried anyway.  That’s why he needs to find someone to spin his fur into yarn he can then make them scarves/gloves/sweaters/etc with.  And why he’s so into the clothes sharing.  Anything to get his scent on them as thoroughly as possible.

And I am so here for PTA Dad Peter.  Helping out at school functions so he can keep an eye on the younger kids.  Building new, supportive relationships with his older kids, helping them with college applications and essays, making up lists of stuff they’ll need for dorm rooms, finding apartments if any are going to the same or nearby schools and can share, making sure they all have pictures and mementos to help combat homesickness.  And now I’m thinking about the memory quilt again.  Goddammit I don’t want to make myself cry.  Again.  "Imagine Peter hearing their heartbeats for the first time."  Oh nevermind, I see you’ll do it for me.  Ugh, my feels.  Peter shifting to his wolf form and curling protectively around them all the time, head pressed up to their abdomen so that he can listen and scent at maximum effectiveness.  Them just gently stroking through his fur until one or both fall asleep.  (Also, how quickly do the other wolves in the family pick up on the changes in scent?  How do they react?  How do the older kids react to the idea of more siblings in general?)

And you know that whichever one wasn’t the one pregnant at the time would be super protective at the time, then turn around and insist they were fine and that the others were worrying unnecessarily when they were the one pregnant.  (Also, glad your brother was okay!)  I also like that it apparently took them nearly 20 years to learn about planning for this sort of thing.  I know you’ve mentioned Peter and Chris being the ones that do the stupid thing next chapter (or something to that effect), but really I feel the biggest moment of "what the hell, guys?” is Noah getting knocked up just two months after Chris.  It’s like, you guys had a huge, in your face, live example of why protection is important, and yet…  I’m also just going to assume that they have at least a king size bed to accommodate that many people, even if many of them are tiny people, and none of them mind piling.  That’s still a lot of bodies cramming into one bed.  (That much room would also come in very handy for…other reasons, which is why I feel certain Peter would insist upon it.) 

Also, omg, I was not expecting to be attacked by those pictures like that.  Tag your porn, dude XD .  But really, can you imagine the poor, unsuspecting college friends their kids bring home for visits getting a triple barrel of that with no warning?  Like they’ve just seen the goofy, weird pics that they have on their phone/on their walls.  They were not prepared for the sheer DILF power of that household live and in person.  But then, is anyone, really?

Loving all the names.  I actually know a guy named John who has a son named Jackson, so that one was particularly amusing to me.  I also noticed that none of the kids have been named after anyone in Noah’s family, at least so far.  And don’t worry, I wasn’t expecting to have those spoiled yet, though I’m happy to know you liked some of my suggestions :D .  Now if I could just remember which all ones I went with…  Didn’t really think to put it in anywhere, but for some reason I’ve always liked Alexander as a middle name for Peter, though I remain undecided on the other two.

And yes, loving the idea of more family cosplay.  Oh god, they would never get ANYWHERE at a con because they’d be getting stopped every 3 feet for pictures.  For Star Trek, I feel like they’d do groupings from assorted series and versions.  Chris, Peter, and Noah are totally OS Spock, Kirk, and Bones (Peter with strategically torn shirt, of course).  I think Melissa would be their Uhura, and Natalie would be Yeoman Rand (she wants to see if she can fake the hairstyle), because I dare anyone to tell them they can’t pull off dresses that short.  Since he has sword training from his hunter background, Melissa makes Julio be their Sulu.  Boyd, Derek, and Jordan would be Picard, Riker, and Data (Derek would totally figure out how to do that weird way Riker sits down, too.)  After much debate, I feel Stiles would be Kirk from the recent films (NuTrek, or whatever they call it), Jackson would be Spock, and Malia would be Bones.  I think Lydia would make an excellent Uhura for them, as well.  Scott would be Scotty because he can remember to answer to it, and it gives him an excuse to do a TERRIBLE fake accent.  I’m leaning towards Isaac for their Chekov, but beyond that can’t think what to do with everybody else, I’m not familiar enough with the different tv shows.

Marvel we’ve talked about some.  DC I have a few random ideas.  I always thought it would be funny to see Peter, Derek, Jackson, and Liam do the assorted Robins.  While I feel Peter is DEFINITELY more of a Jason personality wise, I think he’d be far more comfortable in Dick’s costume that Derek would be, and if Derek was Jason the heights would line up better.  Jackson would be Tim, and Liam would be Damian (because who else would play DC’s tiny and angry than TW’s tiny and angry?)  Also, don’t overlook the fun and variety of villains DC offers.  The last group costume I did was a cross between Bill & Ted and assorted Bat-villains.  We called it Bruce & Dick’s Excellent Adventure, and even photoshopped a sign to carry to help people get it.  Among our line-up was Cleo-Catra, Ivybeth the First, The Poison Queen, Harley Antoinette, Joker Napoleon, Freud Nygma, and Bane-thoven.  (I really need to do something with the various pieces of my costume someday.)  I know there are several girls in the Bat-fam now, too, depending on who all wants to be a part of it, or if they want to skew more Justice League/Teen Titans/Young Justice.

Oh man, Disney.  So many options.  I feel like Lydia and Allison as Ariel and Prince Eric is a given.  I also like the idea of Kira and Malia as Belle and the Beast, partially because of Malia’s issues about having to hide her nature, and also because I think she could absolutely rock that suit.  Ben could join them as Chip.  (Stiles would actually make an excellent Belle, but I feel that might just get weird.)  I can see Danny helping Erica rig up a Sleeping Beauty dress with strands of LEDs that keep shifting from pink to blue to green so the dress keeps appearing to change color (it’s a massive hit.)  I don’t know why, but I really want Stiles and Jackson as Elsa and Anna for some reason.  Scott can join them as either Kristoff or Olaf, depending on the mood he’s in.  Can’t quite decide for the other pack kids.  Since the theme is nominally just fairy tales, I think the dads could just opt for a classier, fancier version of their Red Riding Hood looks.  Maybe go for a steampunk edge or something (I would have included links here, but Google was not my friend today and I couldn’t find quite what I wanted.)  Rich velvets and wools in vivid scarlet and forest-y greens, black and deep brown leather and suede, lots of polished buttons and buckles, loose cotton shirts unlaced at the throat.  Mmm, yes.  And Peter could have one of those super fancy Victorian type nightgowns with the long sleeves and high necks made out of super soft and fine materials.  Instead of getting some kind of mask to wear, he’d just do his partial/beta/whatever you want to call it shift and let them add extra fur on with makeup to blend it in.  Everyone just thinks it’s amazing effects work.  He does opt for some cute wolf paw slippers since cons tend to get snotty about people going around barefoot.  (Applying and removing the fur is also how they learn his ears are particularly…sensitive…to a delicate touch in that form.)  

Lord of the Rings.  Yes.  Like, I can’t figure out who or any real details right now but.  Just.  Yes.

I feel like some years they enter the costume contest and some they don’t, just depending on their moods.  (They totally take the Jurassic Park group to a con and people adore it.  It makes for great skits.)

Random bonus thought for the day concerns dancing.  I was thinking about the whole drag queen thing, and whether Jungle was around in the 90s, and it sort of segued into what types of dancers they are.  I feel like Peter is a very good dancer.  Not quite competition level, maybe, but very skilled, nonetheless.  Like Malia, he’s just very comfortable in himself, in all forms, which helps with spatial and bodily awareness, in addition to his natural grace and balance.  I also feel he’s the most likely to have taken, like, ballroom lessons or similar as a kid, maybe at a parent or grandparent’s insistence.  With Noah I keep thinking about the various videos I’ve seen of Dylan dancing both outside of TW and as Stiles, and I feel his dad would have a very similar style of awkward disaster from the chest up, undulations worthy of a harem girl from the waist down (those Stilinski boys tend to leave a lot of confused boners in their wake.)  In Noah’s case, settling into his frame after that last growth spurt and learning self-defense/martial arts helped smooth most of the awkward out, but it resurfaces every so often.  Chris I think would be the least likely to dance, just because I feel his background would make him very self-conscious about it, whether he wants to feel that way or not.  He’ll dance if it’s just the three of them or just family, or for a slow dance, but that’s normally it.  However, if he’s drunk enough, or if Noah or Peter have dragged him into a dark corner to makeout for a while and gotten him all distracted and relaxed, he can be pursued out onto the floor to show off some actually pretty sweet moves once he lets go.

Anyway, gonna try and wrap this up, because I just realized it’s way later than I realized, and I should try and get some sleep at some point.  Enjoy your game, I hope it’s epic!

When this little paragraph made me realize I had a gaping plot hole in this chapter and I got to go back to fix it. My god my friend, you are a lifesaver!

I also like that it apparently took them nearly 20 years to learn about planning for this sort of thing.  I know you’ve mentioned Peter and Chris being the ones that do the stupid thing next chapter (or something to that effect), but really I feel the biggest moment of "what the hell, guys?” is Noah getting knocked up just two months after Chris.  It’s like, you guys had a huge, in your face, live example of why protection is important, and yet…

Because oh yeah I wanted to make it canon that wolves can detect a heartbeat of the embryo at 4-5 weeks. Which is about a week after the heart starts beating. And oh yeah, Chris is two months along by the time Noah gets pregnant... shit. I wrote something else in that flashback.

And now I got to fix that, so cheers!

I also finished writing my chapter today! Yay! All glorious 13K of it. And I’ll be editing and posting tomorrow (or technically later today as it is past midnight.) Oh, I’m so excited, I’m so excited to see what you think!

As for the game, my god it is awesome!!! I played a few hours today but my heart raced so much I had to pause after two hours because I was getting dizzy because of my heart. But it’s a great game so far, very accessible and it just draws me in completely. It’s so good.

Definitely what I needed after my day at work.

hehehe I’m happy to see my previews and writing and getting emotions, it sounds so bad, but that makes me smile because it’s getting the desired response and that’s awesome. 

“Cue Lego Movie music”

can you imagine the furor that would have occurred about a Slytherin and a Gryffindor hooking up in Fourth Year (I think?), and then pulling an innocent little Hufflepuff transfer under their spell?  Would any of them have played Quidditch?  (Peter I feel definitely played, though I can’t decide what position.  Undecided on the other two.)

I think Peter would’ve been a chaser or beater, somehow those seem to fit him well. Noah played but he was a keeper. (which would be funny if Peter was a chaser since they would get to battle lover’s disputes on the quidditch pitch) Chris I feel wouldn’t play quidditch, he’s too busy trying to keep track of his studies and really just likes to watch the sport but not participate. I think he’d be more into care of magical creatures and defends against the dark arts than any kind of sport. Though he does join and excel at the dueling club.

And the scandal of Peter and Noah dating from fourth year on would be massive, people can barely wrap their heads around it. But they’re happy and they’re just doing their own thing. And they don’t pay attention to anyone else but what they think and what Chris thinks of them.

Peter shifting to his wolf form and curling protectively around them all the time, head pressed up to their abdomen so that he can listen and scent at maximum effectiveness.  Them just gently stroking through his fur until one or both fall asleep.  (Also, how quickly do the other wolves in the family pick up on the changes in scent?  How do they react?  How do the older kids react to the idea of more siblings in general?)

<3 <3 it’s honestly an adorable image. The twins are very active when dad’s curled up around them, knowing just where to kick so Peter’s wakes up by a foot to the face. Though he doesn’t mind and just nudges back gently, letting out a low grumbling noise or whine that he knows the babies can hear in utero. As for how quickly, it depends on whether or not they smelled it before. Jackson, Ben, or Scott wouldn’t pick up on it. They weren’t wolves around pregnancies before. Malia and Derek catch on quickly though. They start noticing the scent change at around 5-6 weeks and hear the little heartbeats of the new family members.

Malia is moderately excited, she’s a little worried about her dad and how he will handle pregnancy at his age. (Although he’s like 35 when he gets pregnant, that counts as a geriatric pregnancy, dad... I’m worried.)

Stiles just flips between the two of extreme worry where he read up on pre-eclampsia and other pregnancy complications and birth complications and omg what if that happens. But he’s also so so excited because omg he’s finally gonna be an older brother!!

(He knows he’s Ben’s older brother, and he adores the tyke, but it’s different when you have a pregnancy close instead of a five-year-old sibling from one day to another.)

Jackson is pouty and a bit grumpy. He feels like he’s losing baby status in the family more and more and he doesn’t know how to deal. (Ben was a bit difficult to get used to for him but Chris handled it well by setting time aside for his baby Jackson. It helped. But now he’s a teen and there’s going to be two more babies and he’s- he doesn’t know how to feel. When Chris breaks the news he wants to have another baby he’s even more torn but he does come around, deciding that he will always be the baby of the family, even when he’s not.

It’s a good compromise. And the three parents set some time for each of their kids so everyone gets attention.

Allison handles it the best out of the teens, she’s very excited for all of them and immediately to volunteers helping with decorating the new nursery. She paints a few awesome looking murals of Winnie the Pooh or Bambi or some other cutesy Disney animals (Or maybe even a space/star wars or a fairy tale ala Fables theme?) and just goes all out. She also convinces Malia to quilt a blanket for the new baby and helps her knit a few cute hats. She’s just extremely excited and happy.

Ben is very happy too, he’s finally not the youngest anymore and he’s happy to be an older brother. He also finds it fascinating to learn how pregnancy works and how those babies got in there in the first place. They let him tell them how it works and explain some basic details, sperm, egg, you need both to have a baby and the baby grows in pops and papa’s belly. But they leave out any details that Ben doesn’t figure out or doesn’t ask about to keep it more age-appropriate for him. 

Though Ben’s smart and he figures out a lot on his own. Noah and Peter are honestly impressed by Ben’s deductive skills. They knew Jackson and Stiles had them, but they hadn’t expected Ben to show them too. He’s a quiet observer.

They were not prepared for the sheer DILF power of that household live and in person.  But then, is anyone, really?

Honestly, I don’t think anyone is. Nobody can resist the sheer DILF power.

Since the theme is nominally just fairy tales, I think the dads could just opt for a classier, fancier version of their Red Riding Hood looks.  Maybe go for a steampunk edge or something (I would have included links here, but Google was not my friend today and I couldn’t find quite what I wanted.)  Rich velvets and wools in vivid scarlet and forest-y greens, black and deep brown leather and suede, lots of polished buttons and buckles, loose cotton shirts unlaced at the throat.  Mmm, yes.  And Peter could have one of those super fancy Victorian type nightgowns with the long sleeves and high necks made out of super soft and fine materials.  Instead of getting some kind of mask to wear, he’d just do his partial/beta/whatever you want to call it shift and let them add extra fur on with makeup to blend it in.  Everyone just thinks it’s amazing effects work.  He does opt for some cute wolf paw slippers since cons tend to get snotty about people going around barefoot.  (Applying and removing the fur is also how they learn his ears are particularly…sensitive…to a delicate touch in that form.)  

I- this whole thing? yes. Headcanon accepted because it is that good. I can literally just see them going in steampunk hunter, red riding hood and the wolf. thank you for putting that image in my mind XD

I feel like Peter is a very good dancer.  Not quite competition level, maybe, but very skilled, nonetheless.  Like Malia, he’s just very comfortable in himself, in all forms, which helps with spatial and bodily awareness, in addition to his natural grace and balance.  I also feel he’s the most likely to have taken, like, ballroom lessons or similar as a kid, maybe at a parent or grandparent’s insistence.  With Noah I keep thinking about the various videos I’ve seen of Dylan dancing both outside of TW and as Stiles, and I feel his dad would have a very similar style of awkward disaster from the chest up, undulations worthy of a harem girl from the waist down (those Stilinski boys tend to leave a lot of confused boners in their wake.)  In Noah’s case, settling into his frame after that last growth spurt and learning self-defense/martial arts helped smooth most of the awkward out, but it resurfaces every so often.  Chris I think would be the least likely to dance, just because I feel his background would make him very self-conscious about it, whether he wants to feel that way or not.  He’ll dance if it’s just the three of them or just family, or for a slow dance, but that’s normally it.  However, if he’s drunk enough, or if Noah or Peter have dragged him into a dark corner to makeout for a while and gotten him all distracted and relaxed, he can be pursued out onto the floor to show off some actually pretty sweet moves once he lets go.

Malia definitely inherited Peter’s dancing skills, I like to think Jackson did as well. Those three are the best dancers in the family. They just move with natural ease. 

Allison is a decent dancer, her gymnastics training really helps but she’s not as fluent as her brother, sister, or dad.

I feel like Noah and Stiles have awkward flailing down to a T but every once in awhile there’s a hip movement worthy of a fucking professional dancer and it’s very confusing. But yeah, totally agree with that assessment of them.

Chris isn’t much of a dancer and neither is Ben. Both of them are very self-conscious. Chris gets better when he’s drunk because he let’s go of insecurity but even then it’s not great. He just doesn’t dance, it’s not his thing. Although he was a very good grinding and hip rotation move. He’s also pretty good at jump style once he lets himself go and just turns his mind off. but the rhythmic jumping just feels natural to him. He also likes to slow dance since he can just bury his face in Noah’s shoulder or nuzzle Peter’s cheek and just forget about everything else.

Also, I like to think they all love to sing. Chris’s voice is best suited for country I feel like. Noah’s more for singer-songwriter. And Peter just loves singing pop songs and he knows how to hit some high notes. 

And now I am going to bed because It’s almost three am XD And I need some sleeps. Thankfully I have the day off this sunday.

#ben says stuff #once upon a time comments #submission

[primaryc0l0urs]

STEVE ROGERS IN ENDGAME: A FAN’S JOURNEY

Reason for meta: I have seen Steve bashing peaking everyday post Endgame release. Funnily, I saw more Toeknee fans appreciating Steve than Steve fans. Steve rogers has been my emotional centre for the entirety of MCU, and I loved him in endgame, endings and all included! So I could not understand the Stve hate. I get where the disappointed Steve fans are coming from, but I write this meta in the hope that maybe just one of you will feel better about Steve reading this. If not, I don’t mind.

That is not to say I liked everything or everyone’s story in Endgame, but that is for a different meta. This is just Steve Rogers. 

It is really REALLY HUGE, so putting under the cut.

I am a superhero movie fan. I have been excited for Endgame for a long time, though the over the top secrecy by the higher ups did make me lose interest somewhat. I spoiled myself thoroughly before watching IW, so this time I thought I’ll practice restraint. I only peeked in the spoilers to see what happened to Steve, cause anyone who knows me, here or IRL, knows I’m a Steve Rogers fan. And I was severely disappointed. I couldn’t conceive Steve going to the past and being happy. I posted a few times on Tumblr as well, that I’ll prefer Steve to die than go to the past. I’m not a St*ggy shipper, neither am I a shipper of any canon or fanon Steve ships. I read them all, and appreciate them all, but for me the foremost had always been Steve. The spoilers actually made me depressed and I thought that the producers couldn’t even give me my OTP? Steve/happiness? Cause in my mind, Steve had moved on, and he didn’t need to go back to the past to be happy. And what about Nat and Sam? I saw Endgame the day it released in my country. I was prepared to hate it. I was prepared to be severely disappointed by the ending. And as a Natasha fan and to a lesser extent Thor fan, I was. I was ready to be extremely upset as a Steve fan as well. But something happened during the first few minutes of the movie. Toeknee St@rk returned to earth. And put the entire blame of trillions of lives lost on Steve. Literally berating him in front of friends and strangers. Steve Rogers, who had never been allowed to defend himself, again did not get a chance. His friends stood and watched. I understood their reactions, I understood Steve’s reaction. T0ny was sick, emaciated and full of misplaced rage. It was, to quote the Stans [TM], human and understandable. But what about Steve? Is he not supposed to be human and understandable as well? Sorry to compare trauma, but Steve lost much more than Toeknee. His best friends, his sister figure, his found family, his allies, all gone to dust. For a man who had already lost his entire world once, imagine the tragedy. He was already blaming himself, and that blame was compounded and validated by Toeknee’s and other’s behaviour. It was at that moment I decided to let go of my feeling of rage and disappointment for Steve’s ending. I decided, whatever happens, if Steve is happy, I will give him a benefit of doubt; cause no-one on screen will. (Except Nat and Sam. But Nat was reeling from shock herself and Sam, dear Sam was not even there!)

Then came the rest of the movie, and I didn’t even have to give him a benefit of doubt. As a Steve fan, it was exhilarating! He chose to continue Sam Wilson’s legacy by helping people cope. He continued being Natasha’s support while she was supporting the entire world. His friendship with Natasha in the MCU was a gift. His restraint while being verbally attacked, mocked and blamed unfairly by St@rk, cause he knew St@rk is hurting, was beautifully played. His disdain and dignity in the face of refusal of acknowledgement by a grudge holding St@rk, even five years later, was marvelously portrayed. And still his empathy shone through; he understood where T0ny is coming from when he said he doesn’t want to lose his daughter. His perplexed face when Scott asked him about Quantum physics was priceless! Lol. His inspiring nature being appreciated by Rocket, who is brazen, to say the least, felt fulfilling at last. That proud look that Scott gave Steve at that moment, as if to say, “Yes, THIS is the man I Stan.” I felt you at that moment, Scott, cause during that movie, I was you, and so were most of the people watching with me. Finally, we saw some of that strategy he is famous for. Strategy is not just how you fight, it is how you manage your surroundings to win in the most convenient way to fulfill your objectives, even in a seemingly impossible situation. And Steve proved to be a master at that. The elevator scene was one of the best scenes in the movie. Everyone was expecting the iconic fight from TWS version 2. But Steve couldn’t afford that. He was not only on time constraints, he also was in Stark tower. Any hint of foul play and his chance was lost. So, he did the most amazing thing. He attained the stone without a single hand thrown. (Though I would love to know what happened in THAT particular reality, lol!) He made it very clear to the comic fans as well, that Steve Rogers is never going to hail Hydra unless it is to trick the enemy. It was a slap on that Hydra cap storyline from the comics. At least for me. The gobsmacked look on the faces of Sitwell and Rumlow made my day. Lol. The entire exchange between the two caps, including “I can do this all day.” And “Yeah, I know!” Was a Steve Rogers fan’s dream come true. How irritating, to have your own catchphrase used aginst you! Half the viewers at my theatre laughed. And when Steve threw Bucky’s name for shock value, it shows how important Bucky was for him. And well, even he has to agree about his own… ahem, ‘ass’ets. Lol Then came the seventies. His entire plan to get the Pym particles was made on the fly, yet it succeeded beautifully. And the “Captain Stevens” was there just to clarify to the audience that it was Steve who planned it like that. He was not just taking advantage of Pym moving out of the lab. He created his own opportunity. His brief one sided encounter with Peggy and his realisation that she might also not have moved on from him, was heart touching. I wished for him to encounter Sarah, just once during the entire MCU, but yeah, I had no expectations. His crying at Natasha’s death, him telling the others that he and they were her family had me crying in the hall. I always liked that this seemingly extraordinarily macho man cries with tears and is never shy about showing it. Then the climax, the entire battle with Thanos, was one adrenaline pumping ride. 

I was jumping in my seat the whole time. The biggest cheer in the hall came when he catches Mjolnir. The entire hall was Thor at that time, with half of us actually shouting “We knew it!” I’m still unable to control my smile just typing it. There were multiple things and people I enjoyed during that fight, including Wanda, Carol and Tony and Pepper team up. But ultimately, till the others returned, it was a Steve show. This man, with a hammer and a broken shield would’ve faced the entire army and Thanos, and I’ve no doubts about it. This was My Captain America.

The ‘on your left” was also a lovely callback.

He respected Tony for his ultimate sacrifice, however Tony might have treated him earlier, and that was My Captain America. The end, when he returns the gems, has the fandom divided, but to me, it was a surprisingly poignant moment. I mentioned before, I was sure I will hate it. I never thought this while reading the spoilers, but I LOVED It. HE DID NOT ABANDON HIS FRIENDS. To the people saying that I have one question, “Whom, how, where and when?” Bucky? Bucky had been leaving Steve behind despite all of Steve’s efforts to help him since TWS. He finally had found peace with who he was and had a support system, including Sam and Wakandans. He did not need Steve. Sure, he’d miss Steve, but he realised that Steve has been doing everything for everyone else. It was time Steve did something for himself too. And despite clearly missing Bucky, Steve never tried to stop Bucky from doing what he wanted for himself. It was time for Bucky to reciprocate. It was clearly discussed with him in advance and he was ok with it. Sam? Sam had been a fully functioning adult even before he met Steve. He was the one who was always shown to have a moral centre closest to Steve. They were portrayed as equals, albeit a bit slower. He also had developed a very close friendship with Bucky. He had his own support system. It was his legacy Steve chose to continue when he had been snapped. It was time Sam became his own superhero independent of Steve Rogers. Captain America is not a person, he/she is a set of morals, a drive to do what is right, whatever the personal cost. The person closest to Steve in that respect was Sam. Steve came back just to give Sam closure. He did not abandon him. Natasha? Natasha was arguably the best friend Steve had in the 21st century. They both had been each other’s emotional and physical support for at least 9-10 years by the end. Had Natasha been alive, I don’t think Steve would’ve returned to the past. Not because they’re romantically involved, but because she was the one who might not have coped well with his leaving, after losing everyone all the time. Moreover, what is to say he did not plead at Vormir to get Natasha back? He would’ve been ready to exchange his soul for her, if possible, and I have absolutely no doubts about that. He actually may have succeeded in getting her back, who knows? Certainly not us.  Finally Peggy? It has been very clearly pointed out in the movie that everytime you go back in time and change something you don’t change the future, you produce a new timeline. Steve did not erase anything about Peggy. our Peggy of TWS still achieved everything in canon. And do you think Steve who was HAPPY to see a cadet being brought down a peg by her would stop her from achieving the greatness he knows she is capable of? if you do, I don”t think you get Steve’s character. He saw that Peggy was still not over him even in the seventies. He saw an opportunity to help the woman who loved him even when he was a nobody. People who are criticising it are forgetting, that till the time that Steve alters the timeline, She is his Peggy. Timeline diverges from there. Moreover we don’t know what he did back then. Did he continue with Peggy? Or did he just gave her closure with that dance and kiss, so that she can move on? Was it him helping another friend like he has supported all his friends in the present? We don’t know. 

As for Sharon, we don’t know what happened (and if there was one canon ship I liked, it was St*ron), but the Sharon Steve kissed in this timeline was not his niece. He never married her aunt. Sharon did not kiss her own Grand UUnvle, knowing or otherwise. There was no timeloop which was given out in the spoilers. He married a Peggy whose life is going to be entirely different and whose Sharon is also going to be someone else. That is, if he married Peggy at all. Steve saw an opportunity, to help Peggy, to help Bucky and Wanda and Pietro, by saving them from Hydra’s clutches, to help Natasha by saving her from the Red Room clutches, to write over all the pain and regrets in those lives. Maybe not in his own timeline! But when he has a method to save some other versions of them, do you think this man, who can’t ignore a situation going south, will let it be? I think not. Steve declines to mention whom he married. He doesn’t mention which time period he is from. He doesn’t elaborate what he did there. Why? May be he is from a long time in the future, cause serum is definitely supposed to slow his aging? Maybe he is from the parallel timeline where Captain America righted all the wrongs in the world before they happened. We don’t know. This has been kept intentionally vague. We, the fans, have been given an incredible chance to imagine our own ending. Did he marry Peggy or Bucky or Sam or Natasha or Sharon? Or maybe he had a polyamorous relationship with most of them? Yes or yes! Did he save Nat from Vormir and went to live in past with her, righting all the wrongs, together? I hope! Did he save himself and Bucky in the forties? Why not! Did he save a baby Natasha from the Soviets? Of course! Did he save Wanda and Pietro from the destruction of their family? You bet! Did he prevent the death of Stark family, saving Tony from self destruction? Sure! Could Steve’s ending have been written differently? Yes, of course! I might have still loved it, maybe more than I like the present ending. BUT..

The only thing we KNOW about Steve in that scene, is that he looks content. He had led a satisfactory life. One where he has as few regrets as possible. And as a Steve Rogers fan, that was all I could’ve hoped for.

#pro steve rogers #steve rogers meta #i know this is huge #and still doesn't say all i wanted #but #i can't write anymore #i was content to let people hate steve's ending #but then #i saw someone say that #st*ve abandoned his friends #and that precipitated this whole meta #i want to write about #many more aspects of endgame #but maybe some other time #i'm anyhow not a very good writer #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers:endgame spoilers #my words #original

[musette22]

so couldn't help but notice the scott mike thing, and i got tjis idea, scott is a by the book lawyer who's married to a woman ofc (but they're going thru divorce or something to not hurt anyone's feelings lmao) anyway, he was thinking about keeping the marriage for his kids' sake, but one night at a bar he meets mike ofc and as one of you said they have a hot one night stand and the next day or few days later he finds himself on a case against mike who's reputation precedes him ofc hehe

Yessssss, that’s perfect! I love the idea of this straitlaced lawyer being seduced by the guy with the reputation for trouble, and even though he enjoyed their tryst thoroughly, he thinks he’s never gonna see him again and that’s probably for the best. Imagine his surprise when he sees him in the courtroom the very next day and has to go up against him - and not the way he’d been up against him the nigh before 🙀 Enemies to lovers with a lot of potential for delicious angst! Who’s on the ‘right’ side, morally? Will Scott give in and sleep with Mike again, despite the fact he shouldn’t be fraternizing with the opposition? What’s going to happen to Scott’s failing marriage? Oh, the drama!

#scott huffman x mike weiss #minnie answers

[fangirlinghard-spoilerson]

Every one of my theories about the  ending for The Queen of Nothing point to Jude killing: Or Madoc; Or Cardan; Or Talyn.

“I curse you,” Valerian whispers. “I curse you. Three times, I curse you. As you've murdered me, may your hands always be stained with blood. May death be your only companion. May you-"

[TCP, TWK, TLS, TWK Deleted scenes SPOILERS]

Ok, when the TQN's sinopse got out, I changed my mind. I am being dramatic, I thought, TFOTA will end just fine. And then the cover got out and I panicked again. Now, let's panic together.

Why Madoc?

There is a possibility that Madoc forces Jude to choose. After the coronation cerimone in TCP's chap. 20 Madoc began to talking with Talyn and Jude about chose your family over pretty boys. In TWK he asks if Jude will really chose Cardan over the family many times - directly and indirectly.

TCP, Chap 23 (This is me translating my book Pt-br to English, then it may be different from a book in the original language.)

"And if your sister is right and you know where Prince Cardan is, give it to me. [...] It's charming in a way, and it's also smart, but nothing worth protecting."

TWK, Chap 7

“Oh, I’m angry, daughter, but I am also curious.” He makes a dismissive gesture toward the Palace of Elfhame. “Is this really what you wanted? Him?”

TWK Chap 27

“You would really choose that over your own family?” he sneers, his gaze going to Cardan before cutting back to me.

Madoc is the one how rase her. Educated her. The father is a representation of whom we must overcome in the quest to become adults.

Madoc to Jude, Chap. 21, TWK:

“At last, I finally understand. Orlagh and the Undersea we will vanquish together. But when they are gone, it will be us staring across a chessboard at each other. And when I best you, I will make sure I do it as thoroughly as I would any opponent who has shown themselves to be my equal.”

Madoc  don’t accept very well be defeated by her.  I don’t think he wants to be overcome by his daughter. Sometimes I think, that he will never accept. That he will always continue try to overcome her.

TWK deleted scenes - Madoc POV:

I do not think He wants to be overcome by His daughter. Sometimes I think, that he will never accept. That he will always continue try to overcome her.

Why Cardan?

Madoc, about Cardan, in TWK:

“Do you know why Eldred had no interest in his youngest son? Baphen saw ill fortune in his stars from the moment of his birth.”

Lady Acha, to Jude, in TWK:

“A There was a hag who came across Madoc’s land when your mother was pregnant with Vivienne. The hag was given to prophecy and divined futures in eggshells. And do you know what the hag said? That Eva’s child was destined to be a greater weapon than Justin could ever forge .” 

Ill fortune was seen in Cardan stars the day he was born. Something that made Dain throw away - for outside the castle - Cardan, made Lady Asha don’t see value in take cary her son or conquer his affection, made Eldred let all this happen to Cardan and see his like a failuer.

TWK, Chap 26

“When my father sent me away, at first I tried to prove that I was nothing like he thought me. But when that didn’t work, I tried to be exactly what he believed I was instead. If he thought I was bad, I would be worse. If he thought I was cruel, I would be horrifying. I would live down to his every expectation."

So I believed this ill fortune was something like Cardan is not supoused to be High King or the Greenbriars will end or Elfhames kindom will fall. 

Cardan in TWK Delet Scenes:

And a hag once said the Eva’s baby will be the greater weapon Justin ever forge. So it’s Jude or Talyn. Not Vivi.  Maybe it’s Jude. She is the protagonist. She is the sister we see like a warior.

I talked about this in this post: ‘The Wicked King: Spoilers, Conclusions and Teory’ But I will talk a little more.

Eva probably dropped Madoc and pretended to be dead because she thought Vivi would be a weapon and Madoc would use their daughter - Madoc created Oak and was going to use him, so Eva was probably right - But when she tried to escape the prophecy, she made the prophecy come true. Justin ‘forge’ Jude e Taryn. They are Eva’s baby. 

Balekin said to Madoc about Eva be still alive because he knew about the prophecy.  I think he and Lady Asha were close (maybe that's why he welcomed Cardan into his house). Lady Asha was Eva ‘friend’, maybe she was there when the hag said the profecy.

When Jude opened her door and see Madoc asked “Whose child is that? Yours? His?” and Eva replied “No one’s. She is no one’s child.”

Eva didn’t want to say that Jude was her child with Justin.

Madoc adopted the twins not just because of honor and responsibility, he wanted to use them.

Madoc insist that Jude return to his side, maybe because he believe that Jude is the great  weapon.

Oriana never felt comfortable in letting Oak with Jude, maybe she knew that Jude can be dangerous for Faerie princes or for the Greennbriars.

And, Jude’s personal feelings and thoughts.

TCP

“I am going to keep on defying you. I am going to shame you with my defiance. You remind me that I am a mere mortal and you are a prince of Faerie. Well, let me remind you that means you have much to lose and I have nothing. You may win in the end, you may ensorcell me and hurt me and humiliate me, but I will make sure you lose everything I can take from you on the way down. I promise you this is the least of what I can do.” 

TCP, Jude to the boy who she liked a little.

“If you hurt me, I wouldn't cry. I would hurt you back.”

Why Talyn?

For this theory is essential that the reader know and believe the second theory is true. While the reader is thinking Jude is the great weapon, They are distracted like in a magic trick.

Taryn could be the great weapon

TLS

Madoc wanted to teach at least one of us his trade—the art of war. I am sure he hoped for Vivi. But it was you who wanted to learn. You who had the real affinity. You who kept at it when he knocked you down. You used to say that I was good. That I learned the moves easily. But I didn’t want to know them. I hated the idea I might have to know them.

It is said in TLS and, I think also in TCP, that Taryn has always learned more easily than Jude to how to handle weapons. But Taryn had no interest and Jude wanted to get close to Madoc, to be loved by him. So Taryn might be the great weapon.

But we also have to think about whether the great weapon needs to be a good fighter or whether it's not just prejudice on our part.

Taryn is dangerous even though she is a figure of passivity.

If Taylin will be the fall of Cardan. Once more time Jude have to choose betewn her family and Cardan. (Usually I would be against choose the boy, but Jude's family really sucks, so...)

Taryn is Jude’s nemesis. Nemesis are sometimes represented by us. They have our face, but they are our worst version. You're your worst enemy kind of thing. (Watch scott pilgrim vs the world, if you do not believe me.)

TWK, Chap 4, Jude about Taryn:

She is a mirror, reflecting someone I could have been but am not.

Talyn is someone who Jude could have been if she had made diferent choices. They are not the same. They had the same fear, but different solutions. The twins are afraid to never find a place in Fairy in the beginning of TFOTA.

TLS

We’d been raised like the children of the Gentry, but we weren’t. We were mortals and we had no fixed future in Faerie. You were wondering about your place here, just like I was.

So, they are the same.

But diferently, because when Jude had Cardan under her power in TCP, chap 25, and she thought about kill him, she thought:

If I kill him, I won't have to feel like this anymore. [...] This is weakness, to put fear above ambition, above family, above love, but it feels good. 

But in TCP, chap , Cardan’s group - I’m not callling they friends -  throw the twins in the river, Taryn choose her fear over support her sister.

TLS

“Twin sister,” Cardan said, turning to me. “I have a most generous offer for you. Climb up the bank and kiss me on both my cheeks. Once that’s done, so long as you don’t defend your sister by word or deed, I won’t hold you accountable for her defiance. Now, isn’t that a good bargain?” 

When Taryn left The Evil Quartet to infer Jude's life, Taryn choose her fear over support Jude.

When Taryn proposed to Locke after Locke had play with Jude, Taryn choose her fear over support Jude again.

So Defeat Talyn is choose herself over her sister way of thinking, and is defeat what is worst in herself, defeat the one she do not want be.

I'll come to a conclusion about Jude killing or not someone she really loves after read The Modern Faerie Tales.  Maybe she does not have to kill anyone, only to defeat.

#The Folk of the Air #the wicked king #tfota theory #tfota theory fhso #fhso

[joeybear]

The Ten Year Oscars: 2008

Welcome to the 6th annual Ten Year Oscars, where The Academy (of one) corrects the mistakes of Oscars past with the benefit of hindsight, historical context and an inflated sense of my own opinion. You can read the previous awards from 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007. 

We’re not going to drag this out like the real awards so on with the show.

Best Picture

Who won? No Country For Old Men. Who should’ve won? No Country For Old Men.

After 6 years I finally agree with the Academy’s choice for Best Picture. There are going to be some that will argue for There Will Be Blood just as there were some who argued for it at the time but No Country has stood our test of time, no question.

This may still be the tightest, most suspenseful movie ever made. Javier Bardem’s Anton Chigurh has become iconic, Tommy Lee Jones gives the definitive weary lawman performance, and we can credit this movie with resurrecting Josh Brolin’s career, which is still going strong ten years later. It’s gorgeous and violent and entertaining while being deeply thoughtful and more than a little weird. It’s a perfect movie. The Academy couldn’t mess this up.

I mean, they could but they didn’t.

Movies that benefited most from a decade?

Lars and the Real Girl and Death at a Funeral were both comedies that were mostly overlooked. Lars received a Best Screenpaly nomination and Death was completely ignored by the Academy. Since then, both movies have established strong, supportive fan bases and forged solid places  for themselves in film history. Death even got an inferior American remake, which is always flattering.

The biggest winner, though, is Zodiac. Ignored by the Academy, David Fincher’s thriller about obsession has become a minor classic. Bump Michael Clayton in the Best Picture category, Tony Gilroy in Best Directing, Hal Holbrook in Supporting Actor (I love you, Hal but you’re sitting in Robert Downey Jr.’s seat), and we’ve got a nice start at properly recognizing this movie.  

Movies that were hurt by a decade?

Remember In The Valley of Elah? It was Paul Haggis’ follow-up to Crash. It’s not terrible but it’s just as preachy as Crash was and has proved thoroughly unmemorable. It’s greatest sin is wasting Charlize Theron. Tommy Lee Jones got nominated for this movie instead of No Country For Old Men, and I’m actually okay with that. He was better than the movie around him.

If Michael Clayton (a lazy, bad title) is remembered at all, it’s remembered as an “Oscar Movie” and not much else. It’s competently made and well acted. It really didn’t deserve 7 nominations, including Best Picture, though.

American Gangster hasn’t fared well either. This movie had as much Oscar pedigree as any movie could want (Ridley Scott, Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe, Ruby Dee, Steve Zaillian, and it’s a crime period drama. What else is there?)  Unfortuantely, the real story was better than what they came up with for the movie and this has disappeared into history as a lesser work from pretty much everyone involved. 

Best Actor

Who won? Daniel Day-Lewis. Who should’ve won? Daniel Day-Lewis.

"I drink your milkshake” remains part of the cultural lexicon despite coming at the end of a long period drama about oil drilling. Paul Thomas Anderson turned that concept into a horror movie and let Day-Lewis loose as the monster. He’s a wrecking ball in this movie. It’s a no brainier.

Best Actress

Who won? Marion Cotillard. Who should’ve won? Marion Cotillard.

Incredibly, the Academy went 3-for-3 on its 3 biggest awards this year. I really would’ve liked to throw some dissent and pick Julie Christie (she was amazing) or say that what Ellen Page did in Juno deserved more recognition (it does) but Marion Cotillard was fearless in La Vie En Rose, fully realizing both Edith Piaf and the physical trials Piaf put herself through. It’s a kind of full body acting that some film actors don’t bother with. Even if Page is underrated and Christie would’ve won in many other years, Cotillard deserved this.

Best Director

Who won? Ethan and Joel Coen. Who should’ve won? Ethan and Joel Coen.

This is going to be a boring year for revision. Could I say that Paul Thomas Anderson exercised more control in his film? Maybe. Could I say that Julian Schnabel was more inventive and daring in The Diving Bell and the Butterfly? Maybe. Does it matter? No.

The Coens are masters and No Country For Old Men is their masterpiece. It’s a perfectly crafted film. They have to be recognized.

Best Screenplays

Who won? Juno and No Country For Old Men. Who should’ve won? Juno and No Country for Old Men.

Yeah. It’s crazy. The Academy saw this one right. For all the reasons I’ve been going on about, you can’t argue against No Country. I really looked for a way to give this to another movie. I think Away From Her is the closest to overtaking it but it’s not enough to overcome the combination of thrills, philosophical weight, and even humor of No Country.

Juno is easy. This is a movie that continues, ten years later, to get the most ridiculous criticism. Complaining that the dialogue is unrealistic is just plain lazy. It’s not supposed to sounds realistic, this is better than how people talk in real life! Crafting a screenplay with this much care for the plot, character, and the lyricism of the dialogue is so hard most people never attempt it. Diablo Cody deserved this win.

Loose Ends

What a terrific year for movies. Just look at something like The Savages. I don’t know how many people even remember this movie but its a touching little film about real life struggles, has two great central performances from Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney, and it hasn’t aged a day. If it had come out two years later and starred younger people it might've been called mumblecore but The Savages is what mumblecore wishes it was. Quiet and personal but every scene has tension and heft without indulging in melodrama. And it’s not even in real contention for Best Picture!

Away From Her and The Savages, are both movies about dementia that focus on those affected (a spouse, children). It would be 7 years before Julianne Moore would win Best Actress for portraying someone with alzheymers in a movie where the person afflicted was truly the center of the movie.

Saoirse Ronan got her first Oscar nomination ten years ago at the age of 13 for her role in Atonement. She was nominated for her 3rd acting award in 2018 for Ladybird but we can talk about that in 2028.

I want to talk about 3:10 to Yuma because I love that movie but I don’t think anyone else does so I won’t even mention it. Oops.

Johny Depp got his 3rd nomination for Sweeney Todd because this was when Johnny Depp was beloved and was getting nominated for everything. It’s a good performance but looks a lot like a retread of Jack Sparrow, which is mostly what he’s been doing for the better part of the decade. He also can’t sing, which should count when you’re doing a musical.

Superbad and Knocked Up both came out this year and were both ignored by the Academy. I get it but there has to be a place to reward era-defining movies, especially one as well made as Superbad. Are we sure Johnny Depp was better in Sweeney Todd than Jonah Hill was in Superbad? Or that the script for Michael Clayton was better than the one for Knocked Up? I’m not.

This was a really strange year, in that the Academy got a lot of the big stuff right, as far as I can tell. It doesn’t hurt that this was a great year for movies. Will it continue next year? We’ll have to wait and see.

#movies #oscars #academy awards #2008 #no country for old men #there will be blood #daniel day lewis #marion cotillard #film

[gumnut-logic]

Epilogue to Love

Title: Epilogue to Love Part 7 of 6, directly after Love Author: Gumnut 19-20 Aug 2018 Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/Thunderbirds: TOS Rating: Teen Summary: For the world is unkind and it needs your touch. Word count: 2426 Spoilers & warnings: None Author’s note: Gordon had questions. The result was this. Virgil was uncooperative as per usual and I don’t think anyone really got any clear answers. But then, was it really anyone’s business? Eh, make of it what you will, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Many, many thanks to all the wonderful people who have read, liked, commented and reviewed this fic. You all feed my pen. Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

Virgil closed his eyes and let the sun settle on his face. It wasn’t often that he lazed by the pool, but since the incident at St Bart’s he hadn’t been particularly mobile. He was still severely underweight, pale and slow moving, thanks to the dark scarring on the right side of his abdomen.

The day was perfect and after his physio in the pool, kindly supervised by Gordon, he lay topless in the sun, enjoying the warmth and the vitalising rays.

He let himself relax.

Sun.

The sound of birds.

The splash of water as his brother did a few laps.

He was home.

He was slowly getting better.

Tune in to the island.

A moment of relief.

“Virgil?”

Well, at least one moment.

He refused to open his eyes. “Yes, Gordon?”

“So, you sing, huh?”

It was inevitable.

“No, Gordon, I don’t.”

“But you can?”

“But I don’t.”

“Why?”

“I presume Scott gave you the full story. If not, I’m sure he is available for an update.”

“Virgil.”

“Gordon.”

There was the sound of water splashing on the pavers and then soft footpads as his wet brother approached. The creak of the lounge beside him.

Gordon’s voice was quiet. “I’m just trying to understand, Virgil. You...can sing, brilliantly, and, well, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t. I thought we had covered this.”

Gordon sighed, but didn’t say anything further.

Virgil tuned him out and attempted to reconnect with the island. Peace. Relax.

But no, his conscience niggled him. He frowned.

Damn.

A sigh. “What did you want to know, Gordon?”

A rustle beside him. “Uh, why don’t you sing?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“You sang that Hollies song.”

“It was the only way to get you guys to stop fighting.”

“You sing and dance to music in your studio.”

“What?” Virgil’s eyes shot open and he sat up. Ow, damnit. Slower. He gripped his side.

“Hey, hey, take it easy, Virg.” Gordon leapt off his lounge and knelt beside Virgil, his hands attempting to support him.

Virgil pinned him with his eyes. “When were you in my studio?”

“Uh, um, never?” Technically.

He narrowed his eyes.

Gordon moved back a little. “Well, you do, don’t you?”

“How would you know?”

“Educated guess?”

Virgil pressed his lips together. “Stay out of my studio, Gordon.”

He held up his hands in defence. “Never step foot in it, I swear.”

The glare continued for a moment before Virgil shifted his weight awkwardly and edged himself back down. So much for the relaxation. Determined, he closed his eyes.

“You sang to those kids.”

Virgil sagged. “What do you want me to say, Gordon? I can sing, big deal.”

“It is a big deal. You could have been world famous. You could have been top of your profession.”

“I was world famous, or didn’t you notice the viewlist on that holo.” He was keeping his eyes closed, damnit.

“Exactly. The world wanted more of you. It was such an opportunity.”

Virgil threw himself into a sitting position, this time ignoring the flare of pain down his side. “It was a tragedy, Gordon. Nothing more, nothing less. The newscasts said it all. ‘Poor little Tracy boy sings his heart out at death of his mother’. They had no idea. No concept. She was-“ Gordon’s eyes were narrowed at him, his gaze flicking to Virgil’s right side, assessing. “Oh, for god’s sake, Gordon, I’m fine!” And he tried to stand up.

Too low, too injured. Too much gravity.

He staggered sideways and would have fallen off the lounge completely if Gordon hadn’t caught him. His brother’s arms seemed to hold him that moment longer before gently lowering him back down to the lounge. “C’mon, Virgil, take it easy.”

He was panting. Between the pain in his side and the aggravation of his mind, he was angry. He glared at Gordon. “I was until you started interrogating me.”

Gordon sighed and stepped back. “I’m sorry. I just want to understand.”

“Understand what? Why I didn’t go for my gold medal?”

“Well, yeah. Why not? It was there waiting for you. We Tracys always reach for the sky.”

“Those are Dad’s words.”

“Yeah, so.”

“How does a choral singer end up with his pilot’s license, Gordon? In fact, how did five out of five brothers end up with their pilot’s license?”

“Because Dad-“

“Precisely.”

Gordon frowned. “You can’t possibly blame this all on Dad. It was your choice.”

“I was ten years old, Gordon.”

“C’mon, Dad has always supported everything we’ve ever done.”

“Yes, and so did Mom.”

Gordon blinked and Virgil knew it was a low blow. His second youngest brother barely remembered his mother. Alan didn’t at all.

Virgil did. And to this day there was a gaping hole where she used to be.

A sigh. “Gordon, Mom was like me. You, Scott and Alan are like Dad. John…” He tilted his head to one side. “Well, John is John. But I’m…Mom understood.”

Quiet. “And we don’t?”

“No…yes…hell, I don’t know and, in any case, it is irrelevant because she is gone.”

“So, you don’t sing because Mom isn’t here.”

“She left, Gordon, okay!”

Virgil froze, realising what he had just said. Gordon’s eyes widened, and suddenly Virgil had to be anywhere but here. He struggled to his feet, shoving Gordon’s worried hands off him, turning only to trip over the end of the lounger.

Another pair of strong hands caught him and he looked up to be pinned by the frowning blue eyes of his big brother.

“Virgil, what the-“

He regained his balance, shoved an arm against his side and waved off his brother’s hands. “I’m okay. Just going inside.” He pointed upwards. “Sun. Too hot. Inside.” And before he could embarrass himself further, headed off to his room without looking back.

-o-o-o-

Scott watched Virgil stalking painfully back into the house before turning his gaze full strength onto his second youngest brother. “What did you do, Gordon?”

For once in his life, Gordon looked thoroughly guilty…and worried. “I asked him why he doesn’t sing.”

“Why? I thought I made it clear how difficult a subject that was for Virgil.” And this was precisely why both Gordon and Alan hadn’t been told in the first place. Well, one of the reasons.

“I want to understand him, Scott. The guy mystifies me. I can’t understand why he wouldn’t have gone for it.”

Scott’s lips thinned. “Did you find out?”

“He said Mom left.”

“Mom died.”

“No, he said Mom ‘left’. Something about us being like Dad and him being like Mom and she left. Even accused Dad of forcing us all to get our pilot’s licenses. Dad wouldn’t have stopped Virgil from singing would he?”

The expression on Gordon’s face was almost pleading, as if he was looking for reassurance that the pedestal he had placed his father on didn’t have cracks in it.

Scott looked down a moment and chewed on his lip. Thinking back to that time wasn’t something he enjoyed. “I don’t think so. We were all pretty messed up, particularly Dad. Virgil not talking didn’t help.” He looked up at Gordon again. “I don’t recall him saying anything against Virgil continuing to sing.” A sigh. “But then I don’t remember any encouragement either.” He shrugged. “It was a bad time, for all of us.”

“I just keep thinking, what if I hadn’t pursued my swimming career? How would I have felt?” Russet brown eyes stared up at him. “It would have been…I really can’t comprehend how he has been feeling all these years. It must have hurt. And to think he is still hurting…”

“Of course, it hurt. Do you think I haven’t thought of that? That I haven’t had to watch him go through that? I was there, Gordon. He stopped speaking. Couldn’t utter a damn word to save himself. I-“ Scott threw up his hands. “I almost wish I hadn’t shown you that video. Bringing this up all over again-“

“Well, maybe it needs to be brought up again. He is obviously still hurting.” Gordon’s hackles were up, his glare passionate.

“It will never stop hurting, Gordon!” Now he was shouting. “Mom is gone. She’s never coming back. And there is not a damn thing we can do about it.”

“This isn’t about Mom! This is about Virgil! Yes, we lost her. Yes, he lost her support as well. Why the hell didn’t we step in and help? There was never any lack of support for my swimming. Or for your Air Force ambitions, race car driving, or god forbid those of us who dared to astronaut. But piano, singing, art, where the hell is the career Virgil should have had, and why the hell was it replaced with engineering?”

“Because that is what he wanted!”

Gordon’s voice went deadly quiet. “No, it sounds like what Dad would have wanted.”

Scott stared at his brother, his blood boiling, but his heart breaking. Really? Could it be what had happened. Had they failed him?

A soft and slightly shaky voice entered the conversation. “I chose engineering because it is just another artform. Mom always said ‘Be what you can and make what you will be.’ So I did.” Virgil shrugged. “I can make music, and I can draw and paint, but I can also make a much bigger difference to this world as an engineer.”

Scott stared at his brother. The man looked pale and shrunken, his arm clutched at his side, but his eyes…there was a vulnerability in his eyes. Scott reached out a hand. “Virgil-“

His brother stepped slightly out of reach, obviously not willing to let himself be helped.

“I would have thought that would be obvious considering how many lives we’ve saved.”

“But are you happy?” The words burst from Scott, suddenly desperate for reassurance.

Virgil tilted his head and looked up at his brother. “Is that what is important here?”

“Yes!”

“Then I am.”

“Virgil.”

“Scott, this is old. Water under the bridge. Really, can we please leave it there?”

“If you are happy, then why don’t you sing? You were so happy back then, why not now?”

“I was ten!”

“You were happy!”

“I’m happy now!”

“Then sing!”

Virgil stood frozen for a moment, his glare defiant, but then something shifted in his stance, his shoulders straightening, his posture standing taller. His glare pinned Scott to the spot.

And he began to sing.

That same song from Vienna, German falling effortlessly from his lips. Gone was the boyish voice and in its place a deep rich baritone equally trained, equally practised, but long hidden. Barely aware of Gordon beside him, Scott was swept up in the depths of his brother’s voice. Pool side was hardly a choral hall, but Virgil projected his voice to his audience. In the house behind him, Alan suddenly appeared on the balcony, Kayo and Grandma from the kitchen.

Virgil’s gaze did not flicker from Scott at all.

The song rose to its crescendo, so familiar to Scott, once, twice and again, Virgil’s voice dipping towards its end, the absent choir not led, but compensated for. And then those two last words, softly sung to an amazed choral hall, translated into English as ‘love you’.

A stunned silence followed.

Until Virgil tilted slightly sideways. “Ow.” Scott darted over to his side, Gordon a split second behind him. Virgil wilted into their support. “Sorry. Don’t quite have the sustaining muscles at the moment.”

Without a word both brothers manhandled their negligent artist over to the lounger, nagging him to lie down.

“Okay, okay, I’m down. I’m fine, relax.”

“What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that the two of you should stop arguing about me.” He drew in a pained breath. “I was thinking I could shut you up.” Again with the glare.

“Was it worth it?”

“Maybe. Depends. You guys going to stop yelling?”

He could feel Gordon’s eyes on him, but he refused to drop his stare from Virgil. “Maybe.” He was now heavily aware of the extra audience his brother’s singing had harnessed. Grandma, Kayo and Alan now all stood at the kitchen doors. “Depends.”

“On what?”

“You.”

-o-o-o-

Virgil stared up at his brother. “What do you want me to say?”

Quietly, ever aware of their audience. “The truth.”

“Why?”

“I need to know.”

“You need to know.”

“Why don’t you sing?”

“I just did. You told me to.”

“Virgil.”

“Because I wanted to keep it for myself, okay. It is all I had left of her, and it was mine.” He tried not to flinch, but it was hard while lying prone under the stares of his brothers. “She was gone. I was the odd one out. The singing was mine, so I kept it for myself.” If he couldn’t have her, then no one could have him. He glared up at both of them. “Have we finished the psychoanalysis? I’d like to go back inside now.”

“You’re the ‘odd one out’?”

“Of course, I am.” He glared.

“But-“

“I’m not ashamed of it, Scott. I am what I am. Just a bit different from the rest of you. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, I-“

“Then, for goodness sake, drop the subject and stop worrying.” He flicked his glare to Gordon. “You, too. I’m still the same person as I was before you discovered I was a choir boy. The rest is my business, so, politely, please leave it to me.”

He groaned as he tried to lever himself up on to his elbows. “Though, if you would be kind enough to give me a hand back inside…”

Both Scott and Gordon reached down and helped him to his feet. One under each arm, they walked him past the rest of the family, up to his room and to his bed. Virgil let himself relax into the mattress. He’d overdone it again, but it might have been worth it.

Gordon left, no doubt prompted by his brother, but Scott, as expected, hovered.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, Scott. No need to worry.” He snuggled into the softness of the pillow. Lovely. Relax. “Just leave it. I’m fine.”

A muttered, “And you wonder why we don’t believe you.”

“What? Go, Scott, I’m fine.” And for good measure. “And I’ll even sing at Grandma’s next birthday if that will make you happy.”

“Really?”

“Get out.” It wasn’t quite a growl, but it was enough for the door to open and close rather quickly.

Finally, silence.

A deep breath.

Relax.

-o-o-o-

FIN

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #virgil tracy #gumnutfic

[filmfanatic82]

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapt 2: Sometimes It Hurts Instead

“We had a deal!” Trini shouts out with a tinge of underlying anger to her voice. She doesn’t even bother waiting until she’s fully entered the firehouse nor cares if anyone else happens to hear her. Trini’s a woman on a mission.

“Good to see you too, Trini.” Jason emerges from the cab of the pump truck with a bit of a sheepish smile. “Welcome home.”

“You promised, Scott.” Trini makes her way into the garage of the firehouse and straight towards Jason, never once breaking her anger-induced scowl.

“I know, but--”

“You fuckin’ promised me.”

Jason lets out a long sigh and rubs the back of his neck. “Heckyl had a thing for flying, Trini. So the bulk of the battle ended up taking place--”

“In the air,” Trini finishes Jason’s words. She suddenly deflates as all traces of anger seem to vanish into thin air and takes a seat down on the edge of one of the nearby trucks.

Without saying another word, Jason takes a seat next to Trini and joins her in the silence for a moment or two.

“You still could’ve called me.”

“You’re 100% right,” Jason replies with a reaffirming nod.

“That’s why Billy made these. Remember?” Trini rolls her sleeve up to reveal a nondescript, metallic bracelet around her wrist.

“Sorry, T.” Jason offers up an apologetic look. “Can we start over? Please?”

Fuck.

Jason always knows what to say.

Every single goddamn time.

It’s his gift…

And god, does Trini hate and love it all at the same time.

“Hi, Jason,” Trini grumbles in a playful yet somewhat mocking tone.

“Hi, Trini,” Jason quips back. He gives Trini a light bump with his shoulder. “How’s life been treating you?”

A disbelieving chuckle slips through Trini’s lips. She tucks a stray strain of hair that’s come loose from her ponytail behind her ear and gives a shrug of her shoulders. “Same as always. How about you? You and Billy doing okay?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

An ear to ear grin spreads across Jason’s face, and no words are needed. Trini already knows the answer.

“That good, huh?” Trini replies, matching Jason’s shoulder bump with one of her own.

“I’m the luckiest guy on the face of the earth.”

Of course, that’s his answer.

Freakin’ fairytale of a love story. High school sweethearts who, against all the odds, managed to make it work. And went on to get married. On a warm summer evening at the Angel Grove yacht club. Just two short years ago.

It’s a story that should’ve been--

No. Pull it together, Gomez. This isn’t about you.

“Glad to see some things don’t change.” Trini stands up, stretches and takes a long, hard look around. “But this place has. Did it get bigger?”

“Nope. All Billy. Once Chief Richardson retired--”

Trini does a slight double take at these words. “Wait. When did he retire? Coulda sworn the last time we talked you said he’d rather up and die on the job than step down.”

“I did. But… that was almost a year ago.” Jason replies with a boyish shrug.

Shit.

Has it been that long?

No. The last time they talked it was right before--

“Fuck. Valentine’s day.” Trini says as a look of realization sweeps across her face. “Jesus, Jase. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…”

“Hey. It’s all good. I get it. I really do.”

“Yeah. but still…” Trini runs her hands over her ponytail and lets out a heavy sigh. “I should be better.”

“We all should.” Jason pushes himself up from the bumper of the fire truck to join Trini. “But what matters is you’re here now.”

“God. You’ve been spending too much time with Mamaji.”

“You know the drill. Family dinner. Every Sunday--”

“At 4pm.” Trini finishes Jason’s sentence with a bit of a smirk. “How could I forget?”

“Didn’t think you did.”  

“You and Billy coming tonight?”

“Of course. We’re planning on swinging by around 7ish for dessert. Need to go to Billy’s mom’s place first for dinner.” Jason snatches up a stray pile of hoses and hoists them over his shoulder with the greatest of ease. “Now come on. The youngest Fire Chief of Angel Grove in over a decade wants to give you a tour of the station.”

“Do I have a choice?” Trini deadpans.

“Nope.” Jason doesn’t waste another moment. He starts to head towards the back, not even giving Trini a second glance.  

“Fine.” Trini replies as she follows suit and makes her way through the station.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Chuki!”

Trini barely manages to make her way through the back door of the kitchen, before being bombarded with a barrage of kisses and hugs by a woman that she has come to know as one thing and one thing only--

Mamaji.

But, at first, way back when Trini was just starting to come into her own, it was Mrs. Hart. Then, a few months after being kicked out by her parents, it switched to Meredith. And finally, on a crisp November evening when Trini revealed that she was planning on marrying their only daughter, it became Mamaji.

“Hi,” Trini replies, unable to hide her smile.

Meredith pushes Trini back, holding her out at arm's length, and gives her a quick once over from head to toe. “You lost weight again.”  

“Mamaji--”

“And your hair. Still the ponytail? I thought we agreed. You were going to cut it.”

“I know, I know. I just--”

“You need to take better care of yourself,” Meredith cuts Trini off with an underlying hint of disappointment to her voice.

“Give the girl a break. She hasn’t been home for more than five minutes.” Frank lumbers into the kitchen, arms brimming with overstuffed grocery bags. He plops them down on the nearby kitchen table and without another moment’s hesitation, pulls Trini into a bear hug.

“Hi, Bapu.”

“How’s my girl doing?”

“Doin’ good,” Trini responds. She can feel her cheeks growing red with a slight embarrassment.

“Just good?”

“Yeah. Just good.”

Meredith hums in response as she turns her attention back towards the menagerie of pots and pans on the stove.

“Grad school still kicking your ass?”

“Frank!” Meredith shoots him a quick but scolding look over her shoulder.

“What?” Frank playfully shrugs his shoulders in response. He reaches into one of the bags and starts to rummage around for something. “Picked you up something.”

Frank emerges a second later from the bag with a six-pack of Pacifico beer and an ear to ear grin.

“Thanks, Bapu,” Trini replies matching his smile as he tosses her a can and then takes for himself.

“Of course, kiddo.”

All these years later and it still blows her mind that they treat her as if she’s their own.

Frank parks himself at one of the free kitchen chairs and motions for Trini to join him.

“So. What’s the latest and greatest? How're things going with…” Frank glances up at Meredith, drawing a blank.

“Gillian.”

“Right. Gillian. How’s she doing?”

“We kinda broke up,” Trini mumbles in between sips of beer.

“Broke up?” Meredith whips back around once again, hand still clutching the curry covered spoon. “But why? She was such a lovely girl.”

“I dunno… Just didn’t feel right, I guess.”

“Chuki…”

Now it’s Frank’s turn to shoot Meredith a look, causing her to let out a light sigh and returns to manning the stove.

“Eh. If it wasn’t right, then it wasn’t right.” Frank gives Trini a fatherly nudge with his shoulder, catching her eyes in the process. There’s an unspoken understanding there between the two of them. No further explanation is needed. He gets it.

But Trini does know the reason.

Cause it’s always the same. Regardless of the girl. Or the situation.

When it comes down to it, they just aren’t--

No. Not happening.

Stop it, Gomez.

“Chuki?”

“Yeah?” Trini snaps herself out of the confines of her thoughts to notice that Meredith has abandoned the stove and is now thoroughly inspecting the contents of the grocery bags.

“Potatoes. I need all four bags peeled and scrubbed.” Meredith fishes out the bags of potatoes and plops them down with a hard thud in front of Trini.

“...And that’s my cue to leave.” Frank get up, stretches, and then gives Trini a light peck on the forehead. “I’ll be out back. Come and join me when she lets you outta indentured servitude.”

“Will do, Bapu.”

Frank disappears out the back door, leaving Trini alone once again with Meredith.

“So Gillian…”

“Can we not? Please, Mamji?” Trini cuts Meredith off, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I promise. I’ll fill you in on Gillian Just… Just not right now.”

Without another word, Meredith makes her way over to Trini and wraps her arms around her, gives another quick but loving squeeze.

“Thanks,” Trini exhales as she places her hands on top of Meredith’s and returns the gesture.

“Anytime, Chuki.”

A comforting silence falls between the two of them as Meredith heads back to manning the stove while Trini rips open a bag of potatoes and begins to work.

Home… with an asterisk.

That’s the only way to explain it.

Not the home she grew up in. No. That one just doesn’t exist anymore.

It’s a different sense of home. A home that almost, at one point in time, she was going to officially belong to.

But then--

Stop. Don’t do it.

Trini shakes her head a bit, in an attempt to clear her thoughts. She takes an extra long swig of her beer and then dives head first into the task of peeling the mountain of potatoes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Strange.

It’s the only way to describe it. The odd sensation that suddenly is rushing through every inch of her body.

Like touching a live wire mixed with a hint of…

Fear?

Anxiety?

What the hell is it?

Trini pauses mid peel, tuning all of her concentration in on her body.

Too much peeling? It has been well over an hour since she started. Maybe it’s--

Ding Dong.

“Chuki! Can you get that?” Meredith calls out from upstairs.

“Yeah.” Trini tosses the half-peeled potato back into the bag and gets up from the table.

She makes her way from the kitchen into the living room but suddenly hesitates before going to open the front door.

The feeling…

She knows this feeling.

But how?

Ding Dong.

“Chuki!”

“Yeah. I’m on it,” Trini hollers back.

What the hell is it?

Trini pulls open the front door and--

Fuuuuuuuuuuucccccccck

There, standing in the doorway is the one person in the world that Trini prayed she would never have to lay eyes on again in her life…  

Kimberly fuckin’ Hart

#trimberly #trini x kimberly #power rangers #kimberly hart #trini #jason scott #power ranger 2017 #wlw #fanfic #ao3