#there is also a downside with some negativity toward books that i love but i just skip those

[continuations]

AI Safety Between Scylla and Charybdis and an Unpopular Way Forward

I am unabashedly a technology optimist. For me, however, that means making choices for how we will get the best out of technology for the good of humanity, while limiting its negative effects. With technology becoming ever more powerful there is a huge premium on getting this right as the downsides now include existential risk.

Let me state upfront that I am super excited about progress in AI and what it can eventually do for humanity if we get this right. We could be building the capacity to turn Earth into a kind of garden of Eden, where we get out of the current low energy trap and live in a World After Capital.

At the same time there are serious ways of getting this wrong, which led me to write a few posts about AI risks earlier this year. Since then the AI safety debate has become more heated with a fair bit of low-rung tribalism thrown into the mix. To get a glimpse of this one merely needs to look at the wide range of reactions to the White House Executive Order on Safe, Secure and Trustworthy Development and Use of Artificial Intelligence. This post is my attempt to point out what I consider to be serious flaws in the thinking of two major camps on AI safety and to mention an unpopular way forward.

First, let’s talk about the “AI safety is for wimps” camp, which comes in two forms. One is the happy-go-lucky view represented by Marc Andreessen’s “Techno-Optimist Manifesto” and also his preceding Tweet thread. This view dismisses critics who dare to ask social or safety questions as luddites and shills.

So what’s the problem with this view? Dismissing AI risks doesn’t actually make them go away. And it is extremely clear that at this moment in time we are not really set up to deal with the problems. On the structural risk side we are already at super extended income and wealth inequality. And the recent AI advances have already been shown to further accelerate this discrepancy.

On the existential risk side, there is recent work by Kevin Esvelt et al. showing how LLMs can broaden access to pandemic agents. Jeffrey Ladish et. al. demonstrating how cheap it is to remove safety training from an open source model with published weights. This type of research clearly points out that as open source models become rapidly more powerful they can be leveraged for very bad things and that it continues to be super easy to strip away the safeguards that people claim can be built into open source models.

This is a real problem. And people like myself, who have strongly favored permissionless innovation, would do well to acknowledge it and figure out how to deal with it. I have a proposal for how to do that below.

But there is one intellectually consistent way to continue full steam ahead that is worth mentioning. Marc Andreessen cites Nick Land as an inspiration for his views. Land in Meltdown wrote the memorable line “Nothing human makes it out of the near-future”. Embracing AI as a path to a post-human future is the view embraced by the e/acc movement. Here AI risks aren’t so much dismissed as simply accepted as the cost of progress. My misgiving with this view is that I love humanity and believe we should do our utmost to preserve it (my next book which I have started to work on will have a lot more to say about this).

Second, let’s consider the “We need AI safety regulation now” camp, which again has two subtypes. One is “let regulated companies carry on” and the other is “stop everything now.” Again both of these have deep problems.

The idea that we can simply let companies carry on with some relatively mild regulation suffers from three major deficiencies. First, this has the risk of leading us down the path toward highly concentrated market power and we have seen the problems of this in tech again and again (it has been a long standing topic on my blog). For AI market power will be particularly pernicious because this technology will eventually power everything around us and so handing control to a few corporations is a bad idea. Second, the incentives of for-profit companies aren’t easily aligned with safety (and yes, I include OpenAI here even though it has in theory capped investor returns but also keeps raising money at ever higher valuations, so what’s the point?).

But there is an even deeper third deficiency of this approach and it is best illustrated by the second subtype which essentially wants to stop all progress. At its most extreme this is a Ted Kaczynsci anti technology vision. The problem with this of course is that it requires equipping governments with extraordinary power to prevent open source / broadly accessible technology from being developed. And this is an incredible unacknowledged implication of much of the current pro-regulation camp.

Let me just give a couple of examples. It has long been argued that code is speech and hence protected by first amendment rights. We can of course go back and revisit what protections should be applicable to “code as speech,” but the proponents of the “let regulated companies go ahead with closed source AI” don’t seem to acknowledge that they are effectively asking governments to suppress what can be published as open source (otherwise, why bother at all?). Over time government would have to regulate technology development ever harder to sustain this type of regulated approach. Faster chips? Government says who can buy them. New algorithms? Government says who can access them. And so on. Sure, we have done this in some areas before, such as nuclear bomb research, but these were narrow fields, whereas AI is a general purpose technology that affects all of computation.

So this is the conundrum. Dismissing AI safety (Scylla) only makes sense if you go full on post humanist because the risks are real. Calling for AI safety through oversight (Charybdis) doesn’t acknowledge that way too much government power is required to sustain this approach.

Is there an alternative option? Yes but it is highly unpopular and also hard to get to from here. In fact I believe we can only get there if we make lots of other changes, which together could take us from the Industrial Age to what I call the Knowledge Age. For more on that you can read my book The World After Capital.

For several years now I have argued that technological progress and privacy are incompatible. The reason for this is entropy, which means that our ability to destroy will always grow faster than our ability to (re)build. I gave a talk about it at the Stacks conference in Berlin in 2018 (funny side note: I spoke right after Edward Snowden gave a full throated argument for privacy) and you can read a fuller version of the argument in my book.

The only solution other than draconian government is to embrace a post privacy world. A world in which it can easily be discovered that you are building a super dangerous bio weapon in your basement before you have succeeded in releasing it. In this kind of world we can have technological progress but also safeguard humanity – in part by using aligned super intelligences to detect what is happening. And yes, I believe it is possible to create versions of AGI that have deep inner alignment with humanity that cannot easily be removed. Extremely hard yes, but possible (more on this in upcoming posts on an initiative in this direction).

Now you might argue that a post privacy world also requires extraordinary state power but that's not really the case. I grew up in a small community where if you didn't come out of your house for a day, the neighbors would check in to make sure you were OK. Observability does not require state power per se. Much of this can happen simply if more information is default public. And so regulation ought to aim at increased disclosure.

We are of course a long way away from a world where most information about us could be default public. It will require massive changes from where we are today to better protect people from the consequences of disclosure. And those changes would eventually have to happen everywhere that people can freely have access to powerful technology (with other places opting for draconian government control instead). 

Given that the transition which I propose is hard and will take time, what do I believe we should do in the short run? I believe that a great starting point would be disclosure requirements covering training inputs, cost of training runs, and powered by (i.e. if you launch say a therapy service that uses AI you need to disclose which models). That along with mandatory API access could start to put some checks on market power. As for open source models I believe a temporary voluntary moratorium on massively larger more capable models is vastly preferable to any government ban. This has a chance of success because there are relatively few organizations in the world that have the resources to train the next generation of potentially open source models. 

Most of all though we need to have a more intellectually honest conversation about risks and how to mitigate them without introducing even bigger problems. We cannot keep suggesting that these are simple questions and that people must pick a side and get on with it.

#ai #artificial intelligence #safety #regulation #open source

[silvfyre-writings]

Aizawa Cares Pt. 25 (MHA Fanfic)

Welcome back all! I hope you all had a good christmas (if you celebrate) and new years! I was busy with work and writing, but hey, I managed to smash out all those projects that delayed this chapter from being written! I hope you enjoy it, I certainly had fun writing it!

Not a lot of chapters left to go now guys!

TW: Attempted assault

Mina liked to socialize. It was just who she was. She’d gotten to know everyone during her time in middle school, and she’d taken great care to listen to her fellow students and remember things that they’d told her. It was something that she’d taken great pride in, and just because she was in UA now, didn’t change the fact that she wanted to support her fellow heroes in training—and those who were in the other classes as well. It wasn’t uncommon to see her floating around speaking to other students during the precious few hours of free time that she and her classmates had, but no one ever questioned her about it. The one time someone had asked about her need to talk to everyone, Mina hadn’t even been there to hear it.

But Kirishima had.

“That’s just how Mina is. She was like this all through middle school as well.”

Mina also knew, that at times, she could come off rather strong—scaring people with her friendliness and questions. She never meant to, of course, and always apologized, but that never deterred her from trying to make friends and help others with any problems they had. She always liked to tell people that if she was being too friendly, then tell her and she’d back off. Because while Mina loved talking to everyone, she still wanted to respect their personal space and all that.

There were some downsides to being friendly towards everyone; sometimes people would ask her for favours—which Mina was happy to help with, but most of the favours were things that she couldn’t help with. Some people even tried to convince her to try and get them into the hero course, as if Mina had that kind of power anyway. Others tried to take advantage of her kind nature for… unsavoury—sometimes lewd—acts. Whenever those happened, Mina always went straight to Aizawa, terrified that one day, someone would do more than just suggest. But Aizawa always seemed to keep an eye on her when she was with a smaller group nowadays, and if not him, it was usually Midnight or Present Mic.

The teachers weren’t exactly subtle, but hey, it seemed to deter people rather well.

But despite these few, negative interactions, Mina never let them get to her. She continued to remain optimistic and talk to everyone.

Everyone deserved to have at least one friend in their life.

“Hey, Mina, you gonna come get ice cream with us?” Mina stopped packing her books as Kaminari called out to her, spotting the rest of the gang—Bakugo included—loitering around the classroom doorway.

“No, thank you though! Me and Kendo got asked by some of the business course to talk to them about hero stuff. So I’ll be doing that instead. But next time for sure!” Mina said, feeling a little guilty when her friends look disappointed. She’d definitely have to make it up to them when they all got together next time.

Mina quickly packed the rest of her stuff and made her way out of the classroom, only to be stopped by Bakugo, the expression on the boy’s face an unreadable one. If anything, it looked a little bit like concern, but that didn’t make sense to Mina. Why would Bakugo be concerned? “Everything alright, Blasty?”

Bakugo scoffed, and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Fucking fine. Just… be careful, that’s all.”

“Aww, look at you caring.” Mina cooed, dodging the tiny explosions thrown towards her with a grin on her face. Seeing Bakugo go bright red in the face was well worth it, and she danced out of the room. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful! You guys have fun, alright? Bye!”

She didn’t wait to hear an answer before rushing off down the hallway; she didn’t want to be late after all. Business students were always a stickler for being on time, and very much hated it when someone was late to meet with them. Mina knew this, not from experience, but from stories told by other students, and well, Mina didn’t want to become one such story. So she raced down the hallways of UA towards where they had all agreed to meet; a small grove of trees just behind the school. It was a rather warm day, so Mina was looking forward to sitting in the shade, especially since the day had provided a cool breeze for a change instead. It would be perfect for a meeting.

Mina arrived at the meeting place just a few minutes before the others were due to arrive, yet she didn’t see anyone there, not even Kendo. But she didn’t think much of it; sometimes classes just ran a little late; just to be safe though, Mina pulled out her phone and opened Kendo’s contact.

[15:15]

Mina Ashido: Hey, Kendo, you running late?

Itsuka Kendo: Huh? Running late for what?

Mina frowned. Had Kendo forgotten?

Mina Ashido: The meeting with the business course students after school today? They wanted to talk to us?

Itsuka Kendo: This is the first I’m hearing of it. Where are you?

Mina Ashido: The grove of trees out back

Mina Ashido: You sure they didn’t speak to you?

Itsuka Kendo: If they had, I would’ve come with you.

Itsuka Kendo: Omw, Mina. Be careful.

“Hey, Ashido!” Mina looked up from her phone, but still kept her messages with Kendo open, the other girls final message scaring her just a little. The business student that had arranged this meeting was approaching with a smile on her face. Mina smiled and waved back, mentally beating herself up as she realized she’d forgotten to get the girl’s name in her haste to get back to lunch with her friends.

“Oh, hey there!” The messages with Kendo had left her heart pounding, along with the fact that the girl meeting with her was alone, when she knew for a fact that the business student had told her there would be a group. But maybe it was best that it was just one person; if this was going to go south, then one person was easier to deal with than a group. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Oh, they’re on the way.” The girl sighed, looking apologetic. “They got caught up in the crowds. We should’ve set the meeting time to later to avoid them. I’m sorry if the delay interferes with your plans.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” Mina said. “My friends invited me for ice cream, but I didn’t want to cancel on you guys after you went to the trouble to organize this.”

“Oh, you’re such a sweetheart, Mina!” The girl let out a squeal, stepping forward into Mina’s personal space so suddenly, that Mina attempted to move backwards, forgetting about the tree behind her. “I can call you Mina, right? Everyone else does.”

“Um, yeah, that’s fine.” It really wasn’t, but Mina didn’t want to upset the girl that only crept closer, despite Mina’s body language clearly suggesting otherwise. She wasn’t quite sure what was actually happening, but suddenly, Mina didn’t feel safe. She wanted to leave, but the only way she could do that was to push past the student in front of her, and she didn’t want to find out what would happen if she did that. There was always the option of using her quirk; Aizawa didn’t like it when they used their quirks outside of class, but her teacher had also drummed into them all that their safety was more important than a little bit of quirk usage.

“If you must use your quirk outside of class; for example, if another student is harassing you, use your quirk to get the person away from you, and then leave. Don’t engage with the person anymore, or use your quirk again, because then it leaves the self-defence area, and it’s harder for your teachers to protect you. Ideally, get a teacher to help before using your quirk, but I will understand if that’s not possible.”

Aizawa’s lesson from the beginning of the school year rang through her mind, yet while Mina knew that her teacher would understand, she also didn’t to disappoint the man either, not after he’d already done so much for them. Besides, Aizawa was busy taking care of Eri, along with some of her classmates that needed a bit of extra help. Dragging him out just because she felt uncomfortable was just stupid.

“Sorry.” Mina found herself saying. “I’d really appreciate if you’d just give me a bit of space. I’m not used to people being this close to me.”

“But you let your friends do this all the time?” The girl tilted her head with a confused look on her face. “Are you saying that we aren’t friends?”

“Yes. We only just met, so I’d appreciate a bit of space.” Mina said a bit firmer this time, yet the girl still didn’t get the hint. “Plea—”

“Oh, but you’re just so beautiful. How can you blame me for wanting to get a closer look?” The girl leaned in even closer, and Mina froze. She could feel the other girls’ breath on her face only seconds before there were lips sealed over hers.

Mina had kissed people before, but they were gentle acts of affection reserved for only those closest to her, and never like this. Her heart was pounding so hard within her chest, that she felt like it was about to break free. She didn’t want this. Yet her body had frozen while her mind was screaming at her to get away.

It wasn’t until the girls’ hands slid down to Mina’s thighs, and squeezed, that the spell broke, and she threw out her hands. “Get away from me!”

“You bitch! You tried to melt me!” The girl cried out, and the faint smell of acid greeted Mina’s nose. She’d used her quirk. Thankfully, it seemed that Mina had only melted the school jacket, but that was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

“I’m sorry!” Mina sobbed. “I just wanted you to stop!”

“Yeah, well, when I’m through with you, you’re gonna regret even touching me!” The girl threatened, only managing to take a single step when a giant hand came and knocked her away.

“Get the hell away from her, you creep!” More tears escaped from Mina’s eyes as Kendo appeared, quirk activated and fury on her face. Monoma and Yanagi from Class B were behind their friend, looking equally pissed off about what they’d just come across. Kendo turned away from the girl and came to crouch by Mina’s side. When had she fallen to the ground? “Mina, you okay?”

Mina’s lip wobbled, and she threw her arms around Kendo’s neck, just relieved that the girl has come to her aid. “Thank you.”

“Excuse me? She attacked me!” The business student snarled, gesturing towards her ruined uniform.

Kendo glared at the girl, ready to say something, but before she could, Monoma sauntered over and threw his arm around the girl’s shoulder. “From where we stand, it looks like you attacked her, and my oh my, what a nice quirk you have. Some kind of paralysis quirk? Explains why Mina couldn’t fight off your unwanted advances.”

“Creep.” Yanagi said.

Mina shuddered to think that it was because of a quirk that this had even happened. She didn’t even want to think about why it had happened. She hadn’t done anything to this girl; hadn’t even met her before today, yet somehow, she must’ve done something for this to even happen.

“It’s okay.” Kendo must’ve felt her shudder, because arms wrapped around Mina’s shoulders gently, and Kendo shifted so that she was hidden from view. “Vlad-sensei’s on the way. Monoma’s keeping her talking so she can’t get away with this.”

“I don’t want Aizawa-sensei to know.” Mina whispered. She didn’t want to feel the shame that would come with explaining to her teacher about what had happened. It would’ve been different if he’d stumbled across the scene himself, but he hadn’t, and Mina just wanted the day to be done and forgotten without her teacher ever knowing. But from the look on Kendo’s face, that wasn’t about to be an option.

“I know you don’t, but I don’t think Vlad-sensei will let you not tell him.”

More tears escaped, just as Vlad King arrived, with an unreadable expression that promised trouble for whoever dared to invoke his wrath. Mina watched as Monoma immediately slid away from the girl and over to his teacher’s side, not even hesitating to talk. “This girl attempted to assault Ashido with a paralysis quirk.”

Fury flooded the Class B teacher’s face, and he rounded on the girl. “Is this true?”

The girl looked ready to argue, but seemed to realize that she was outnumbered, and hung her head. “Yes… but—"

“Nedzu’s office. Now. And believe me, you’ll want to go, because if Eraserhead finds out what you did, that’ll be a lot worse.” The girl hesitated. “NOW!”

Mina watched the girl dash off towards the main building, and finally let herself relax. Tears still ran down her cheeks, but the crying was slowly coming to a stop now that her body seemed to realize that she was out of danger. Suddenly, she felt exhausted, like she’d just run a few sparring rounds with one of her classmates.

“Ashido?” Mina looked up to see Vlad King crouched before her, concern plastered across his face. It was odd to see the usually stoic, and standoffish teacher looking so gentle, but it was appreciated in the moment. “Are you alright, kiddo?”

“Yeah…” Mina wasn’t, not really, but she didn’t really want to talk about it to Vlad King of all people, no offense to him of course. “Thank you.”

“No thanks needed. Just know that that student will be dealt with appropriately.” Vlad King paused, looking up at something, and Mina followed his face, horror and shame filling her as Aizawa raced over towards them, Midnight on his heels. As her homeroom teacher approached, Mina burst into tears once again. It was frustrating, to be crying so much when she knew she was so much stronger, but her emotions were heightened and out of whack; she was allowed to have a bit of a cry.

Aizawa slowed his approach, the worry evident on his face, but Midnight didn’t hesitate to continue on her path, gently coming to crouch on Mina’s other side, and quickly drew Mina into a hug. Mina leant into Midnight’s arms, grateful for her teacher’s presence on one side, and Kendo’s on the other. It made her feel safe to know that no one would be able to approach her without getting through the both of them.

Mina couldn’t help but flinch when her homeroom teacher came to crouch in front of her, but aside from a brief flash of hurt crossing his face so fast, Mina almost missed it, Aizawa didn’t react. “You’re safe now, Ashido.” Aizawa said in that kind voice he always used when he was trying to soothe one of his students. “No one here is going to let anyone hurt you.”

“I know.” Mina said, voice quiet. She wiped her face free of tears, and tried to give Aizawa one of her usual, happy grins. “I’m okay though, really!”

“Mina.” Midnight’s voice was gentle, and Mina turned her head towards the older woman. “You don’t need to downplay for us. You were in a scary situation, and its okay to be upset about it. Nothing about what that girl tried to do was right, and she should’ve known better.”

“And Vlad’s gone to make sure that she’s punished appropriately for what she’s done.” Aizawa added.

“What’s my punishment then?” Mina asked. She’d used her quirk on another student after all, even though it had been in self-defence. She couldn’t be exempt because of the situation, surely?

Aizawa frowned at her. “Why would you be punished?”

“Because I used my quirk…?”

“You used your quirk to get her away from you. Did you use it again after you did that?”

“No, but—”

“Then you aren’t in trouble.” Aizawa interrupted Mina before she could try and argue. “I told you and your classmates that using your quirk once in self-defence was acceptable, because if someone kicked up a fuss, I’d be able to protect you. That is what you did, and you should not feel bad for doing such a thing. Someone was making unwanted advanced towards you, and you did what you had to, to get them away from you. Don’t let anyone try and tell you that you did the wrong thing, because you didn’t.”

Mina sniffed, unable to hold back yet another round of tears from escaping her. Aizawa watched her for a moment with soft eyes, before holding his arms open towards her. An invitation, one that Mina took, and soon she was being held in her homeroom teacher’s arms. And now she understood why her classmates all loved it when they managed to get a hug from the man, because the arms embracing her were strong, and safe. It truly felt like nothing would be able to hurt her in those arms. It was the protection she needed while she cried.

Around her, everyone else was speaking quietly, although the voices began to fade, and she realized that she was now alone with Midnight and Aizawa, Kendo and her friends having been shooed away she guessed. Which was fine with Mina honestly; she’d much rather them not see her breaking down so easily.

Midnight’s hand came to rest on Mina’s shoulder, an easy touch that could be shrugged off easily if unwarranted. “How about we go to the dorms, and you can get some rest? That way if you need Shouta or myself, we’ll be there, and you can take the time you need.”

“My friends will get worried…” Mina said.

“Kirishima will be there.” Aizawa responded. “He’s staying at our dorms for a bit, but if you want the rest of your friends with you, they can come over.”

Did she want her friends with her? Normally, she would’ve wanted the rest of the gang with her; their presence would’ve been comforting in this moment, but she also didn’t want them to see her like this, even though she knew it was stupid. They were her friends, there was no way they’d ever judge her for this. But… Kirishima was her oldest friend. He’d understand, and he’d keep the rest of the squad updated until she was ready. “If it’s okay… just Kiri would be nice. Maybe—maybe tomorrow for the rest.”

“That’s fine.” Aizawa made to pull away, probably to help her to her feet, but Mina tightened her grip. She didn’t want her protection to disappear, not yet anyway. Aizawa froze, and didn’t move for a moment—Mina had the feeling he was having one of his famous silent conversations with Midnight—before he let out a sigh and picked Mina up. “Just this once kiddo.”

“Thank you, Sensei.”

The teacher’s dorm was empty—that or the teachers were just currently not in the common room—and Mina was quick to make her way over to the couch, having made Aizawa let her walk into the dorm at least, just in case someone had been inside. She didn’t want people to think she was a complete mess. But no, the room had been empty. Mina fell against the coach, dragging one of the many blankets to cover her, and became a cocoon.

The peace didn’t last long, for Mina heard rapid footsteps approaching her and quickly looked up just in time to get a face full of red hair as Kirishima threw himself at her. “Mina!”

“Ack! Kiri!” Mina cried out. “Your foot is in my face!”

“Sorry!” Kirishima laughed, moving so that Mina wasn’t squashed underneath him. Her friend sat beside her on the couch, commandeering some of the blanket before turning concerned eyes on her. “Kendo told me what happened. Are you okay?”

Mina sighed, and shrugged. “I’m alright, I guess. I still don’t really understand what happened. But I’m not going to let it affect me! I’ll move past it and grow stronger!”

“Hell yeah!” Kirishima cheered with her. It was nice to see a smile on her friends face after so long of him being depressed about the person he’d accidentally killed whilst working. Sometimes, Kirishima still had off days, but they were slowly happening less and less, and Mina couldn’t wait for him to move back into the dorms. Movie nights just weren’t the same without everyone there. Mina frowned when Kirishima’s face dropped suddenly. “But, seriously. Did that girl hurt you?”

“No. She didn’t.” Mina reached over to squeeze Kirishima’s cheeks. “She just got a bit handsy, but Kendo and Monoma rescued me.”

“Monoma? The same Monoma who can never say anything nice about us?” Kirishima’s eyes were wide in disbelief.

“Yep. That very same Monoma.” Mina nodded.

“That very same Monoma wants to come by with Kendo tomorrow and make sure you’re okay.” Aizawa’s voice made Mina jump in fright, not realizing her teacher had been standing behind her. “And so do I.”

It was a subtle hint, but a hint nonetheless, and Mina’s somewhat good mood vanished. Kirishima gave her a sympathetic look before leaving her alone on the couch, disappearing up the stairs. Meanwhile, Aizawa had dragged the coffee table closer to the couch and sat on it, watching Mina carefully.

“I’m okay, Sensei.” Mina said before her teacher could say anything. “I’m not going to fall apart. I’m strong.”

“I have no doubt that you are.” Aizawa agreed. “But it still doesn’t hurt to ask. And it’s okay if you aren’t. I’ve seen many strong people be upset and hurt when someone attempts to hurt them the same way someone tried to you today.” Her teacher paused for a moment, thinking about something. “If you don’t want to talk to me about it, I’m sure Midnight would be more than happy to.”

Mina didn’t really want to talk about it, though. She just wanted to forget and move on, and get on with her life. And she opened her mouth to tell her teacher just that. But then a thought crossed her mind; what if she wasn’t as okay as she thought? Sure, she was still walking and talking, and she had cried earlier—she’d cried a lot actually. But that was just today. What if, when she least expected it, something happened and she became not okay? Mina had seen it happen to several of her classmates before; watched them power through a traumatic event just for it to come back and bite them in the ass later on.

She didn’t want that to happen to her.

So maybe it would be best to talk about it. Work through it with someone else, so that she could truly overcome it, and fight against it if her mind decided to remind her of what had happened.

“If it’s okay… I’d like to talk to Midnight about it.” Mina said in the end. And then frantically added. “Not to say that it’s because I trust her more than you, Aizawa-sensei! I trust you a lot! So—”

“Kid, I understand. You have to talk to who you feel most comfortable with. If that’s not me, that’s okay.” Aizawa interrupted her. “Anyway, Midnight’s on patrol right now, but I’ll send her to you once she’s done. You and Kirishima can watch a movie or something over here.”

“Thank you, Sensei.” Mina smiled as Aizawa got up and made his way out of the room, her smile growing when the man just waved back at her. Aizawa truly was the best teacher she could’ve asked for.

#mha #bnha #dadzawa #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #aizawa shouta #mina ashido #tw: assault #hurt/comfort #midnight

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

um, hello again! i was the anon asking if your matchups were open! since you said it's open, may i ask for a romantic matchup for the fandoms Honkai Star Rail and Tears of Themis? feel free though to ignore my request! but if you'll do it, please take as much time as you want in doing it! there's no pressure ^ ^.

anyways, my pronouns are she/her and my sexuality is heteroromantic demisexual. while for my zodiac and mbti, it's cancer and INFJ. my appearance is basically shoulder length, dark brown hair, brown eyes, light brown skin and chubby body. i typically wear a lot of dresses.

for my personality, i'm usually shy, reserved, and a bit awkward towards strangers and acquaintances. but once i feel comfortable enough to open up, i become more playful, talkative, and sarcastic. i also may tease if i'm in the mood. i'm also described by my friends and family as someone who's very kind, empathetic, and hardworking. (so yes i am the therapist and mom friend in a bundle /jk) but on the downside, i am a major perfectionist and overthinker with a bit of a people pleasing attitude to boot. i also struggle a bit with hiding parts of myself (usually my negative feelings or chaotic attitudes) because i don't want to hurt or weird out anyone.

my likes are rain, music (especially musicals), cats, games, and books. while for my dislikes, it's arrogant people, malicious dishonesty, parties, horror, and crowds.

then for hobbies, it's listening to music, playing games, knitting, reading, and occasionally writing.

lastly, i guess some additional info is that although i'm mostly open to anyone, i have a slight preference to people who are hardworking, ambitious/passionate, and kind.

thank you so much once again and i'm sorry if this was really long ;-; i hope you have a good day ^ ^.

Hi Anon! Good to hear from you again! No need to worry; this was a good amount of info. Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while; life's crazy at the moment. I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

You and Dan Heng are very similar! Your relationship is one based more on similarities than differences.

Relaxing rainy days spent inside with only each other as company are some of Dan Heng's favourite moments. He likes listening to music and reading with you on these days.

Your "people pleaser" nature balances out Dan Heng's more cold and abrasive nature so people get used to looking for you whenever they have to talk to him.

Would love it if you knitted something for him. He's particularly fond of scarves as he thinks they compliment his normal outfit nicely.

Tries to help you out when you're overthinking. He knows what it's like getting into your own head and, while he's not great at expressing his emotions, he'll sit with you and provide comfort through his presence.

Dan Heng would feel honoured if you feel safe enough to open up to him. He's a great listener so you'll always feel like what you're saying and feeling is valid.

Helps you avoid crowds. He's not particularly fond of them either so it's a win-win situation for him.

In Tears of Themis, I match you with...

Vyn is the best person to help you out with your overthinking. He's a psychologist so it's something he's very good at.

However, despite how many people he has listened to talk about their problems, you'll never feel like he's just doing his job when you open up to him.

Very good at listening and values anything and everything you tell him. He sees it as a sign of your affection, knowing how hard it is to open up to people sometimes.

Vyn will also make sure you don't feel pressured by your "people pleaser" and "mom friend" nature. He knows that can have an impact on your mental health so he'll make sure you take breaks and put your needs first once in a while.

Another one who's a big fan of rainy days and music. He'll slow dance with you on these days, taking some well earnt time away from his work.

Loves your teasing nature. He thinks it's a nicely hidden facet of your personality and it's always fun for him to have witty banter with you.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #honkai star rail #dan heng #tears of themis #vyn richter

[booksandfantasies]

Best thing about Booktok: I have all these new books to add to my TBR pile.

Worst thing about Booktok: I have all these new books to add to my TBR pile. 😬

#books #booktok #seriously I've bought 8 or 9 new books in less than two weeks which is a lot for me and this does not include preorders I've already had #i love booktok because of recommendations of books i would have never heard of before #but now i have even more of a book buying problem #there is also a downside with some negativity toward books that i love but i just skip those #i try to only watch the positive book recommendation videos #book recommendations #neon gods #katee robert #a touch of darkness #scarlett st. clair #the bone shard daughter #a fate of wrath and flame #the Bridge kingdom #jennifer l armentrout #jennifer l. armentrout #jennifer armentrout #from blood and ash #song of the forever rains #and so much more #so many books #reading

[saturnrevolution]

☆Stellium through the houses☆

please credit my instagram page with the same name if you repost outside of tumblr!!

I got a lot of stellium related messages, so here it is. I have a 6 planets 1st house stellium, so I have a lot to say.

☆ Stelliums are a very controversial topic, as each astrologer has their own way of interpreting it. However, essentially a stellium is a focus on a certain sign or house in a chart. Some astrologers believe that 3 or more planets makes a stellium, whilst some believe 4 or more planets. I tend to go with the 3 or more planets stellium interpretation. However, I personally do not interpret asteroids or angles (asc,dc,mc,ic) as being part of a stellium and mostly focus on planets, but it really does depend on the dynamic of each chart.

☆ A stellium is much stronger if it happens between personal planets (sun-mars) or if it's a combination of personal planets and generational planets (saturn-pluto) and if the planets are in strong conjunctions. The closer to each other and the more planets, the more focused and rare the chart is.

☆ Any planet or sign that is part of this stellium will be a significant one in this person's journey. So if someone has a 2nd house stellium involving the sun, moon and mercury - then houses in which they have leo, cancer and gemini/virgo will have a focus for them as well.

☆ If not cared for enough, a stellium can turn into an obsession of a person on that particular sign's energy or house energy. That is why, it's important to find ways in which you balance the energy of your stellium and this usually works through implementing more of the opposite house's and sign's energy into your life.

Each house ⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

☆ 1st house stellium

A first house stellium means that there is a focus on self expression and developing this person's identity, as well as outwardly expressing their personality. These people might have strong personalities and really take pride in it, especially if the sun is involved. I find that 1st house stellium people have multiple layers to their personality. This is not to say that they are two faced, but when it comes to their identity, there is never a moment when you get bored of getting to know them as there are endless new things you can find out about them. First house stelliums embody the energy of all the planets that are found in there. The more planets, the more blend out the energy is and it might be harder to pinpoint exactly the ways in which a certain planet is coming off as. These people might have the ability to adapt to the environment they are in and portray a certain personality depending on the situation, while still appearing as their ascendant. The ascendant is the one that dictates the flavors of those energies in the house. The downside of having a first house stellium is that they can be rather individualistic to the point where they do focus way too much on themselves and live in a bubble. Also, there might be a lack of cooperation and they might find it difficult to work in a team or ask for help (not really if you have 7th house planets as well). It's always a great idea to balance with the opposite house, so spending time with your loved ones or investing in your romantic relationships or engaging in teamwork activities will help. In terms of appearance, these people are rather going to turn heads with their aura and have a sort of intriguing vibe to them. These people are straightforward and really shine whenever they are in their confidence and have so much of themselves to share with the world, they are meant to put it all out there and be appreciated for it.

☆ 2nd house stellium

Having a second house stellium means that there is a focus on the material world and possessions and depending on the sign the planets are in, you can tell a lot about what possessions actually mean for this person - this can mean that they either value money or they value spirituality and life experiences over the material. However it may be, these people have a lot of inner strength. Whenever they feel down, they do get back up and they always fight to make it on their own. There might be an issue here with wanting to keep things for themselves too much or with putting too much pressure on themselves to the point where it affects their self worth and they get insecure. They need to be careful to not rely too much on the idea that there is just one clear path for them to go on and that if they do not reach a certain status, things won't work out for them. Career is also quite important for these people, but more as a way to reach security, they are always prioritizing comfort and are quite consistent with their decisions. They might have strong values and really continuously work on their self worth. For these people, it's important to balance the energy with the 8th house, so engaging in things that have to do with shared experiences, shared finances, opening up, being vulnerable and building deep connections where they can let their guard down and relax. Also, there might be a tendency to be a bit stuck in their comfort zone and fear change, so leaning towards the 8th house and finding ways in which they can embrace change and dive deeper into the darker side of things will be really beneficial. They might own a lot of things that represent their personality - even if this means a car or a collection of stickers with spiritual meaning, they have few things that they own that have sentimental value. They are very practical and calculated people and their consistency is usually what gets them to be successful eventually and be appreciated for their integrity.

☆ 3rd house stellium

A third house stellium shows that there is an emphasis on communication or things of the mind for this person. As the 3rd house also rules the years when we are in school or our hometown, it's likely that these people either got a lot of attention in school or had some traumatic experience when they were younger, depending on the planets or signs involved. However, the purpose of a 3rd house stellium is to use their voice in order to express the things that maybe were once repressed or that they feel a deep need to talk about. These people have a lot to say and they have powerful opinions, without necessarily judging others. They can, however, get in heated arguments and sometimes get stuck into their ideas or their thoughts. 3rd house stellium people have a great eye for details and a way with words - they might be good at writing or singing or anything that involves communication, even small talk. They need to be careful not to be too keen on the details that they forget the bigger picture and should balance their 3rd house energy with the 9th house - so engage in more spiritual activities or find metaphor in their daily life and not always seek to analyze and understand the things around them, including emotions. These people can be prone to mental health issues and need to snap out of this by simply taking action. Their country of origin or their immediate and familiar surroundings will likely be an area where they will thrive and they might become well known in a very specific field or niche that they are so good at cause they are great at assimilating information and research. One of their purposes is to use their unique voice and point of view in order to speak up for those that are not able to do it themselves and so make them feel seen and understood, while they also share their potential with the world and often do that through their amazing storytelling gifts - they could even write a book or have a start-up!

☆ 4th house stellium

A fourth house stellium means that there is an emphasis on feeling secure in this life. These people might have went through an impactful childhood - either in a good way or a negative way and they usually base their decisions on the things they learned in the past. They might have a numerous family or some trouble in this area, however there is a focus on family for them. Their motivation comes from feeling safe and knowing that those around them are well. Also, they are likely to learn a lot from building a family on their own, weather this means getting married or simply owning a pet. These people are warm and caring and have this innate mother instinct that shines through. They are also quite intuitive and empathetic, however this is mostly a private area for them which they keep to themselves. The place they live in can influence their mood so much. The trouble here comes when they focus too much on being in a safe and comfortable environment or being surrounded by people they care about that they do not prioritize their growth or they tend to be a bit codependent. They need to balance the energy with the 10th house, so focus on their career and their future goals and use these really beautiful qualities they inherited from their family as an asset into putting themselves out there. Depending on the planets or sign they have here, they might not have moved a lot and when they do, it likely feels like they are out of their comfort zone, they need to build a space that encourages their growth and that's rather luxurious even. They might own a beautiful home later on in life and build their own kind of world there. These people are likely here to break family patterns that were felt for lots of generations before them and share their stories with the world or use the wisdom they gain to inspire and heal others in very profound ways.

☆ 5th house stellium

A fifth house stellium shows a person that is naturally talented or gifted. This can mean that they were basically born with a talent for drawing, singing, being really good at multiple things that enhances their personality and puts them in the spotlight. They came here to showcase these talents and they need to be careful to not to take them for granted and instead use them as a way to find meaning and pleasure in life. They can sometimes lean too much onto the idea of finding pleasure and adopt this careless attitude that focuses on prioritizing themselves before their friends - which can be both good or bad depending on the situation. These people are likely naturally good with children or they are meant to have children of their own and so keep their talents alive, they are also likely to have artists in their family or people that have, again, some really natural skill. Creativity might shine through for these people, depending on the sign and they can also be quite lucky romance wise or be natural flirts. They should be careful not to get too emerged or too obsessed with their pursuits that they forget about the world, so balancing this energy with the 11th house - with being with friends, finding a community that has the same interests as them or involving themselves in fighting for a bigger cause through their skills would help, even building an online persona. If more difficult planets are involved in this stellium, they might have difficulty with their self worth or went through some experience which made them lack the confidence they need to show their talents. Once they find that fire inside, these people are the bright stars that have a lot of admirers of their work and can be amazing leaders if they follow their passion and do not let fear lead the way, as well as really good teachers that people talk about for generations to come.

☆ 6th house stellium

A six house stellium shows someone whose focus in this lifetime is in perfecting their daily tasks in such a way that they match their future goals and get them closer to their aim. These people are action oriented perfectionists, this is why sometimes their wish to do everything in a perfect manner can stand in their way of their action-taking. It's great for these people to find balance in their life by investing in their opposing house, so engaging in spirituality, journaling, going to therapy in order to understand their subconscious mind, invest in their art, write or focus on healing their mind before their body from time to time. A six house stellium is going to be concerned with their body - the way they show up into the world, but also the way they care for their body, the things they eat, how much exercise they make, their skincare routine and how present they are with these tasks. They can sometimes get so stuck into daily things that they forget the bigger picture and they are prone to being workaholics or to burnout. It's important to take things as they come and reduce the expectations they have on themselves. Another trait of a 6th house stellium is their ability to be of service to others - depending on the sign they have in this house, they know how to be of help and really hate feeling useless, they are great at giving advice and observing the details. They are most likely to see something you are not seeing and they have a sharp mind and critical thinking. Also, having coworkers that match their values is a very important trait to them and if they cannot find that, they'd rather work alone or open their own business. As long as they do not overly engage with their daily routine and know that their discipline does not define them, that's when they can achieve the most perfectly imperfect things in life by showcasing their daily tasks that got them to the success they achieved.

☆ 7th house stellium

Having a seventh house stellium shows a lot of emphasis on relationships, socializing and discovering oneself through interactions to the other. These people are likely social, they love discovering and getting to know others and they feed on conversation. They are rational, but also extremely sensitive and can feel very deeply for those that they love, sometimes even in a psychic way. As there is a focus on the other, the problem here arrives when these people overidentify with their partner, their best friend, their family - they rely their whole being on them and they forget about their own needs and wants, they ask everyone about what they should do and they do not make decisions that are in tune with their own authenticity, they might be people pleasers during their darkest times and completely get lost in making people like them. This is why, they need to get themselves out of their comfort zone once in a while and focus on first house themes - take decisions on impulse and trust their intuition, speak up on what is bothering them and even spend time alone to self reflect or invest in some personal activity. This will help them find balance and the harmony that they are always looking for in relationships. These people could even become known for their successful love story. Their potential won't be the same without someone being there to watch them as well, so they are the perfect example of harmonized work, relationships and personal life in time, great multitaskers and storytellers too! Just need to tap into their shadow side, not be afraid to ask around and explore what they are capable of. They came into this life in order to search for people that match their values and to learn to set boundaries and say no to those that don't, they came here to inspire others and lead them with their soft skills, they came here to make others feel loved and in turn, get to know their own potential, which is huge.

☆ 8th house stellium

Having an eight house stellium shows that this person's emphasis is on things that are rather taboo, dark or private. This person is likely to be someone that does not enjoy being in the spotlight (especially if they have personal planets here), but they are amazing when it comes to behind the scenes. What this means is that these people have the ability to read and understand others in a really deep way, so much so that they do not need things explained in words, as they just feel the vibe. This is why, they would be really great in jobs that require them to use their intuition or jobs that require them to do the secret, insider type of behind-the-scenes work, no matter the industry they work in. However, they would do perfect psychologists, psychics or even undercover workers of some sort. These people are passionate and can dive really deep into the subject they are interested in an completely get immersed into that. The problem here is that stellium energy is very obsessive and 8th house energy is the same, so putting these together can get a person to become obsessed with a subject, a situation, another person even to the point where they might stalk this area or to the point where they do not care for their basic needs, such as food, just to spend time observing and investigating this subject. Another challenge for an 8th house stellium is the fact that they are able to feel so much what others are feeling makes them really sensitive and can get easily hurt if they do not separate the bad things that happen into the world from them. It's important for them to balance this energy with the 2nd house energy, so to spend time focusing on the material, on making sure they spend time showcasing their skills through work, but also searching for stability and going away from change and chaos from time to time. These people can also have a sexual energy to them and are likely always in an ongoing personal transformation, even due to the things they had to go through in the past. These people are meant to help others heal, as they are open to the dark like no one else and they have the potential to discover hidden truths, while also discovering themselves.

☆ 9th house stellium

Having a 9th house stellium means that there is a focus on wisdom, beliefs and constantly looking for meaning. These people hold a lot of inner wisdom that just seems to come out of nowhere, as if they were born with it. They are the ones that are not afraid to make mistakes and that take every experience as one to be learned from. You see these people chasing their impulses and the fire within. It's likely that they will move a lot in this lifetime or travel - these are things that help them see the world differently and fuels their wisdom. They might have a culturally diverse background or they might be interested in foreign cultures or foreign languages. If this is not them, then they are the readers, the mind travelers, the spiritualists or religious people that search for eternal questions of the mind. They usually find themselves asking how the world was created and what's wrong or what is right, what's moral and what's not and they have really well thought beliefs. The problem with a 9th house stellium comes when they need to go a bit deeper than life philosophies, when they need to not base all their decision on experience, but rather on facts or on emotions. These people might feel as if darker things in life make them want to run away, in their endless search for spirit, they might shy away from anything that involves emotion or face to face communication, as they do not like getting caught by and being stuck in details. This is why, an advice for them is to invest more time in the 3rd house - to try to listen to what people actually have to say and not what they believe in, to try to see a person besides their spiritual beliefs and music taste - but instead to look at their life struggles and their emotions. What's challenging for a 9th house stellium is to have confrontational conversations that make them feel uncomfortable. As a paradox, the 9th house is all about getting out of their comfort zone, but for them getting out of their comfort zone is staying in their immediate comfort and not trying to escape, they might be surprised how good it feels. The purpose of these people is to go forward with ideas and belief systems that have been studied and felt for generations and to ask the right questions at the right time, so much so that they change people's lives with their positive way of living.

☆ 10th house stellium

A 10th house stellium person is likely going to have an amazing work ethic and find pleasure through investing time in their career. These people are likely to achieve great success in their career and even be recognized as a public persona. The place where they most shine is the moment when they spend their time being productive, organized and working on their goals. The sign can influence the energy a lot, so you don't have to be a super organized person if you have this placement, but you likely have your own personalized way of organization that works for you. They are motivated and sometimes overly critical of themselves, as they always want to reach and do more than they can even take on honestly. This is why they push themselves beyond their limit every time and it's important to stop and asses their process and praise themselves before they move on, they often don't know how much they have done. A good way to do this is for them to focus on the opposite house energy, which is their 4th house - take time to rest, spend time with family, be lazy and allow people around them to slow them down. It's all right to be behind with schedule and it's all right to be human and not feel like a robot 24/7. The problem can come when they have some personal issue that interferes with their daily work. Usually, if they find themselves being more productive than usual, it's a sign that there is something in their personal life that they are trying to avoid by diving deep into their most safe space - work. These people could sometimes get sick because of overworking, so please listen to your body and slow down if you do not feel very good. Overall, they are the ones that help everyone else organize, but the ones that can also do the small tasks - so they would be amazing managers or most likely find success in any area they are going for, as they actually do the work, put in the effort and get so much pay off in time.

☆ 11th house stellium

An eleventh house stellium person will have their focus on matters of the future, groups of people and environments. These people are the ones that are great when it comes to coming up with innovative ideas in order to revolutionize a generation. In today's world, an 11th house stellium can be seen either vouching for a good cause at a protest or creating their own non-governmental organization or being an internet star. People that have more planets in this house are likely naturally good at technology or at least the internet or they are very skilled when it comes to some unique niche interest of their and they often lead people onto the right direction with their minds. These people are selfless and unfortunately can sometimes care too much about their environment and not enough about their own needs, so it's important for them to balance this energy with the 5th house energy and try engage into creative, artistic outlets or simply just do any activity such as going out or even watching movies just for their own pleasure - without needing to share it with anyone and without needing to make a purpose or a cause out of it. However, they do not necessarily have to be internet stars to be seen, they could even go the other route of being against social media and engaging in a very hippie, healthy way of living or simply choose a traditional route when everyone goes for the modern - anything that makes them stand out. They can also feel misunderstood sometimes because of this and alone, but finding the right community that shares the same interests as them or just the right small group of friends with the same values will do wonders. These people can also be rather controversial, as they are most likely the first ones to start a trend, a movement or be bold enough to take a chance to think and express themselves differently compared to the environment they grew up in.

☆ 12th house stellium

A 12th house stellium has their focus on the outer reality, but not necessarily a material one. These people are extremely selfless and would give a lot just to simply help someone. As the 12th house can also represent karma, these people might have had some lessons in their early life and even later on that felt karmic - it made them feel as if they did not do anything to deserve such experience and since they have been there, they have such a deep ability to be compassionate and understand where everyone is coming from. However, their past experiences made them feel small and helpless and this is the reason why they believe that making themselves small in the first place and being there for others more than their own is going to bring them good karma in return (this belief is at a subconscious level). When in reality, their ultimate purpose in this lifetime is to find themselves. Unless they stop giving their all to everyone in hopes to get something in return and actually take the matter in their own hands and fight for themselves, they will likely feel lost. These people have such artistic and intuitive souls, they absorb the energy around them and are very strong as they can endure things for long, but the real challenge is to go onto the journey of discovering themselves and find out how amazingly it feels to put yourself first and feel happy through balancing with the opposite 6th house and focus on the present moment, learn to prioritize their needs and focus on moving their body and taking the days step by step. These people came here to show us a lesson of how much you can heal the world by healing yourself - just do that and let the magic unfold.

#astrology #stellium #longpost #zodiac #signs #aries #taurus #gemini #scorpio #libra #sagittarius #capricorn #virgo #aquarius #pisces #leo #cancer #posted #houses

[fairyoftbz]

maternal weariness | l. sangyeon

🐣 pairing: neighbour!sangyeon x single mother!reader 🐣 word count: 2.7k 🐣 genre: fluff, slight angst, a bit domestic, cliché AF 🐣 tw: none? 🐣 synopsis: your daughter is suffering from her growing teeth and you're about to lose your mind, but you have enough self-control to do something before bursting. 🐣 a/n: i am so domestic for that man it was almost impossible for me not to write something else for sangyeon + kids. 🐣 requested: no!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

A headache started immersing itself into your skull, hitting all your nerves at once to the point of having you totter for a few seconds. Once you finally got a grip on yourself, you decided to take your crying baby in your arms in order to desperately calm her down. You closed your eyes as you rocked her, feeling frustration, exhaustion and annoyance bubbling inside your entire body. This torrent of emotions crashing into you didn’t help with your headache, only to have it spreading at the back of your neck to your shoulders. Sitting down inside your rock chair, the cries of your small daughter didn’t subside, you almost had the feeling that they increased.

“Shht baby, I know it hurts, calm down love,” you said as you stroked her cheek with your thumb, tears gathered in your eyes as you felt helpless. It was wonderful to have a baby, you had never felt this happy in life, but it was a whole other responsibility. There were many ups and downs, but never once have you regretted giving birth to your beautiful daughter.

Today, you were more on the downside of the life of a mother. Despite all the efforts and pieces of advice you received from books or other mothers, your daughter seemed to not be ready to sleep through the night yet, forcing you to stay awake until dawn, only getting dozens of minutes of rest each night. Bringing up a child on your own was not impossible, but it was certain that it was hard. Hearing your friends that had husbands or partners willingly taking the reins so they could rest had you envious, and somewhat feeling guilty.

The baby daddy was never there, only supporting from afar through small amounts of money. At the beginning of your motherhood, you hated it but almost begged him to come and help you, but he always claimed that he had better things to do and that you should already be grateful that he was willing to financially support you two.

What kind of father did you give your daughter? Where did the gentleman and the caring boyfriend from a few years ago go? Who decided to replace him with a rich asshole that only cared about his appearance and his own health?

The tears threatened to fall as you thought of all this while rocking your daughter back and forth, the side of her cheek against your chest as she kept on yelling in pain. It hurt to see her in this state, you wished you could take the pain away from her, but sadly, you had to assist her in her teething process as best as you could, which meant only cradling her and kissing her.

However, your daughter seemed to have another sense, a sixth one if we could call it that way, and she knew when you were stressed or angry, two emotions that were currently pulsating in your veins and controlling your entire being. You wanted to scream and cry just like her, but you resisted the temptation, you had to stay strong for your daughter. The process was hard you two, but one of you was about to burst and lose her mind. Your breathing pattern picked up, became irregular, the crying of your baby only increasing.

Clutching your teeth, the tears finally spurted out of your eyes violently, uncontrollably cascading down your face onto your daughter’s pyjamas. While a tidal wave of emotions burst into your mind, you remembered one thing many mothers, as well as your own once told you: Never. Ever. Shake your baby out of pure rage or despair. No matter how exhausted or frustrated you are, pass it onto someone else before calming down.

And that’s exactly what you did. Putting on your slippers, you crossed the threshold of your apartment to appear into the corridor, the cold air only increased your daughter’s cries, probably disturbing the entire building. Violently crying and struggling to catch your breath back, you weakly crashed your fist onto your neighbour’s front door, desperately hoping that they were here.

It was getting suffocating, and you felt like fainting, but you were trying to get a grip on your emotions for your daughter. As you were about to go back to your apartment filled with utter defeat, the door opened on your neighbour, a confused look written on his face as you sighed in relief.

Sangyeon was a young man you had met on your first day moving inside your current apartment. He was kind enough to help you get some boxes inside the elevator while you maintained the metallic doors opened, helping you even more as he saw that you were his new neighbour. He looked really happy to help, relieving you of this stress as you were exhausted from the irregular sleeping schedules of being a mother.

He had let you come inside his apartment once when you had accidentally locked yourself out with your daughter as you were going on a walk to try and lull her to sleep. You felt like you had the angels on your side because he knew an old friend from an ex-co-worker that was a locksmith. He offered him a great tip, so he came within the next hour, allowing you to unlock your door and get back to your apartment safely. The next day, you walked up to his door and offered him a bottle of wine and some baked goods as a way of thanking him, and you could tell that he was touched by your gesture.

Back to the present, Sangyeon took in your messy state, concern filling his eyes as your tears never seemed to stop.

“I am so sorry to disturb you, but my daughter’s been crying for hours now and she doesn’t want to stop, and I don’t know what to do and-“ you tried to say in one breath, but your neighbour stopped you by placing a hand on your shoulder, exhaling deeply as you were lost and confused.

“Please breathe Y/N, it’s gonna be okay. Tell me what’s happening,” he said, his voice clear-cut and composed despite the disturbing screeches of your daughter.

“Her teeth are coming out and she’s in so much pain I don’t know what to do, it keeps me up all night and… and I don’t feel like being capable anymore,” you said as you kept on crying, your neighbour nodding at every word you said.

“Let’s not stay in the corridor. Can I come in your apartment?” he carefully said as he quickly grabbed his keys and locked his door, accompanying you towards yours.

“Yes, yes, of course,” your daughter couldn’t stop yelling and crying, the volume never decreased, only getting rid of the echo thanks to the smaller walls of your apartment.

Your neighbour took his shoes off and placed his keys next to yours, eyes quickly wandering around the apartment: there was no sign of a partner’s presence. He made a mental note of it and strode to the living room, your apartment layout being the same as his, just a tad bit smaller. You sat on the sofa with your crying daughter, eyes still glistening with tears as you couldn’t hold them back.

“Pass me your daughter,” he said as he extended his hands, only for you to stand up and began to guide him on how to take your daughter, but he seemed pretty comfortable without your explanation.

“My sister is a mother too, I got a bit of practice beforehand,” he explained with a reassuring smile, and you nodded, thankful that he filled in the silence, satisfied with the small nods and exhausted smiles you were giving him.

He soothingly rubbed your daughter’s back, gently resting her head on his shoulder as he strolled around the living room. You sighed as you let your temple rest on the backrest of the sofa, trying to get rid of the negative thoughts invading your mind.

“May I ask for her name again?” he asked, and you sniffled, wiping your tears with your top sleeve. “It’s Haerin,” you answered with a tired expression, the man nodding at your words with a reassuring smile. “I wish we could have met again in other circumstances, but babies are a priority,” he said as your daughter’s cries were slowly decreasing, feeling already a bit better as he seemed to be able to magically soothe her.

“I’m so sorry. I needed to give her to someone for a moment, I feel like exploding,” you explained with an apologetic look on your face, but Sangyeon just shook his head, his reassuring smile never leaving his face.

“Don’t apologise for this, you did what was best for you and your daughter,” you felt better at his words, the encouragement you were desperately craving from someone finally reaching your ears.

At the mere thought of not having someone by your side to raise your daughter, loneliness and guilt hit you like a tidal wave, eyes filling up with tears again, and Sangyeon sadly looked at you.

“Thank you. It’s just that… I don’t have someone in my life right now and I barely talk to my friends and family because of my job and my daughter, so hearing some reassurance just makes me feel slightly better,” you said and Sangyeon smiled, walking to the couch as your daughter was now magically asleep in his arms, reddened cheeks due to her cries and the pain of her appearing teeth.

“Y/N, I am sure you are being an amazing mother. It’s not innate to take care of a newborn, it requires a lot of effort, strength, and sacrifices. Of course, it is easier to have someone by your side because they can help around the house, feed your daughter, bathe her, and take care of you and her while you rest. Nevertheless, it’s not impossible to do that alone, and you are even stronger when you cope with everything on your own.” Sangyeon mumbles, gently caressing your daughter's back.

“Don’t you think you are doing a bit too much?” you asked, a bit embarrassed to be praised like that by your neighbour, but you also asked for it. You truly didn’t know what to say, and timidly looked away as Sangyeon didn’t seem to stop.

“No, I don’t think so. Not only do you take care of her, but you also do all the chores, go to work, grocery shopping, do all the administrative work, you are a wonder woman! So with all the physical and mental charges you go through every single day, it’s normal to want to break down at some point. And you did what’s best, give your daughter to someone before you burst. It was a good reflex. Even if it’s hard, you are doing great Y/N, never forget that,” he said with your sleeping daughter in his arms, her tiny fists clutching onto the fabric of his black t-shirt. Tears were streaming down your face as you managed to smile at his words, feeling some strength reappearing in your system at the end of his praising monologue. “Thank you. You don’t realise how much I needed that,” you said in a weak voice, only to have Sangyeon smiling down at you.

“It’s completely normal. You can always come and ask for help with your daughter, or anything else. I’d gladly praise you for being a single mother all over again,” you managed to chuckle at his words, looking down to the floor as you felt his eyes never leaving you.

Looking at your daughter, you felt some maternal inner peace coming back as she was now resting, looking quite peaceful. She looked so safe in his strong, muscular arms, you were almost envying her for being in someone’s embrace.

Sangyeon exuded financial and mental stability, you were glad you rang at his door and not some crazy people. He looked so comfortable on your couch, almost as if he lived there. Well, maybe he felt so comfy because the configuration of his apartment was just like yours, but something felt different. Seeing him sitting on your couch with your daughter in his hold felt… natural, almost normal.

You shook your head as you tried to get rid of those thoughts, feeling suddenly embarrassed to fantasise so easily about him. You held back a smile by clutching your jaw, putting your thoughts down on the fact that you were exhausted and slowly going crazy with managing everything in your life.

“Where is your daughter’s crib?” he whispered and you slowly stood up, waiting a few seconds as dizziness took over your brain, your neighbour holding your forearm with his free hand.

“Follow me,” you tiptoed to her purple bedroom, Sangyeon smiling as he looked at the pretty decoration. He handed your daughter back to you to get her ready for bed, admiring the walls to give you two some privacy. Once you placed her down and neared her stuffed toy, you turned the baby phone on and switched off the light, Sangyeon inviting you to leave the bedroom first before closing the door.

“Thank you so much for your help,” you whispered, and he shook his head, a friendly hand landing on your shoulder.

“You can ring at my door at any time, I’ll try my best to help you,” he said with a reassuring tone. You felt like he was slipping away from you, and before you could do anything, your mouth spoke faster than your brain.

“Can I maybe cook you dinner to thank you?” his eyes widened for a quick second. “It’s really nice of you Y/N, but you are exhausted, you should rest.” “I insist, I think I can do it,” you cursed at yourself for sounding this helpless, watching him ponder your offer before sighing. “Only if you let me help you, then,” he said and you nodded, getting into work in silence as not to wake up your daughter.

With a warm dinner now digesting in your stomach, you both sat down on your couch, unintentionally sitting close to the other as you were exhausted. Closing your eyes for a second, you felt like you had been hit at the back of your head, your tiredness being easily readable on your face.

Drawn features, pale skin, dark circles falling to the middle of your cheek, you looked extremely scary, almost sick. But at least your daughter was healthy, and that’s what mattered the most to you as a mother. Sangyeon started chatting with you about some things, but you were too tired to keep up with what he was talking about.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you mumbled as silence filled in the room, Sangyeon looking at you before letting a smile emerging on his face.

“It’s okay, it was just chattering anyway,” he said and you swallowed down the lump of guilt on your throat, heavily sighing as your whole entire body was screaming and begging you to go to sleep.

The man next to you noticed your drowsy state and exhaled as well. Your head kept falling downwards, only to immediately raise it back up and blink a few times. Without even noticing it, Sangyeon sat closer, and his hand raised to your cheek, cradling it as he gently pushed your head to the side. Your other cheek landed on his shoulder and you frowned, trying to move away as his hand didn’t leave your face.

“Rest Y/N,” he whispered, and you weakly smiled, now realising how your daughter fell asleep in a few minutes in his arms.

Only by resting on his shoulder, you could feel your body grow heavier and more comfortable. His body warmth mixed with his laundry scent and cologne were a surprisingly good mixture to lull you to sleep. Your eyes grew heavier, and you finally gave up, shutting them before falling asleep within the following seconds.

Sangyeon chuckled at your state, gently pushing you away to unfold his arm and wrap it around you, resting your head against his chest. His thumb rubbed in circular motions on your upper arm, sitting comfortably on your couch as you slept against him.

He threw a few glances towards you and you were heavily sleeping, smiling to himself as you unconsciously wrapped your arm around his middle. Maybe he was meant to enter your life and to be honest, he wasn’t willing to leave anytime soon.

#the boyz soft hours #the boyz fluff #the boyz imagines #the boyz #the boyz sangyeon #the boyz reactions #the boyz soft imagines #the boyz soft #the boyz fluff imagines #the boyz sangyeon imagines #the boyz sangyeon scenarios #sangyeon fluff #sangyeon soft hours #sangyeon imagines #lee sangyeon #sangyeon scenarios #sangyeon soft imagines #lee sangyeon imagines #sangyeon reactions #sangyeon #lee sangyeon scenarios #the boyz lee sangyeon #the boyz timestamp #sangyeon fanfic #sangyeon x reader #sangyeon drabbles #the boyz fic #dad!au #the boyz! dad au #dad!sangyeon

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

#twilight saga #the twilight saga #twilight au #bella swan #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #esme cullen #jasper hale #jasper cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #rosalie cullen #emmett cullen #the cullens #the volturi #honestly look at the muscle definition on that thing #jesus chriiiist

[sugar-petals]

Tarot Reading Practice: Why Using Lenormand Cards Is Amazing

they’re originally from france and gorgeously vintage — what more does a card reader want?

it’s like tarot’s major arcana, but simplified and with cottagecore imagery. the nostalgia factor is off the charts, too.

the cards have an even longer tradition than the rider-waite tarot, going back to the 18th century. that means: plenty of material out there.

it is excellent to predict timing. each card is numbered and has a specific set time range, even season. you can pinpoint your prediction down to the day.

lenormand’s accuracy even has a historical anecdote. all of napoleon’s battle victories and losses were correctly predicted by madame lenormand, the inventor of the deck herself. who was looking fly as hell by the way.👌

there are only 36 cards to learn. if you buy oracle cards, it’s usually 44 cards or more to study, with tarot it’s 78 cards plus reversals. especially if you’ve already learned the tarot, this is peanuts.

and yes, no reversals in lenormand. god bless.

some decks have the meanings printed as little poems onto the cards themselves. that’s classy, that’s clever, and extremely handy for beginners. it’s brilliantly written and still open-ended enough to allow a different interpretation each session. it changes depending on what other cards it comes with, you’ll never be bored.

in other decks, they also have classic playing cards on them. 

buying lenormand cards is incredibly inexpensive. five bucks and you’re good to go, whereas other decks cost you 20 or more. and even if the price is low and the cards are a bit smaller (e.g. mine are 9 x 5.5 cm), the value you get out of those is... wow. i’ve even seen quality decks as cheap as two euros. 

there’s only one thing going on at a time on the card. no complicated symbolism, it can speak to you more instantly. the downside: with tarot, you can draw a story out of one card already. with lenormand, you need say a 2-card spread and benefit from knowing more about what card means what. 

which again is an advantage though. lenormand needs less intuition, you can squarely, shamelessly learn it by the book. whereas tarot, you know how it is. the card wants to tell you something specific that might not be the standard definition. while lenormand is like haha boom, you will travel next month! you will move in with your partner! you have beef with a colleague if you write email XYZ!

astrological signs and houses are associated with specific cards. i repeat, lenormand and the zodiac go hand in hand just like the tarot. do i even have to go on?!

the cards are petite but sturdy. you can carry them anywhere or create gigantic spreads. shuffling and storing will never be a problem. 

nothing is wishy-washy. the card is either positive, negative, or neutral. you can get a clear yes or no.

the querent has their own set card to symbolize them. let that sink in! if you have clients, they will love this. and it’s so easy for you to create spreads with that, too. if you read for yourself, same thing, the querent cards are one of lenormand’s coolest features. the ‘gentleman’ or ‘lady’ can stand in for the person who’s asking, two friends, or a couple. lenormand is THE deck for love questions. PS: not to worry, you can use it for non-heterosexual couples with ease. the querent cards can be whoever you want, the reading results will not be impacted.

because of their simple imagery, card names are easy to memorize. tarot has spreads like ‘THE HANGED MAN in reverse + THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE + THE HIGH PRIESTESS in reverse + TEN OF WANDS in reverse’. meanwhile, lenormand spreads are like ‘ship - dog - fox - fish - whip’ and that’s it. you don’t even have to know the card’s name, it’s so self-explanatory. you can learn this in one day.

the deck is not the most wide-spread among popular readers, but there are still a lot of websites with information online. simply because it’s such a strong tradition. 

solid, quick lenormand skills are the sign of a seasoned tarotist. you can recognize a trustworthy pro by it. if someone claims they are a veteran but they haven’t heard of lenormand... especially if your tarot reader is european, this is the go-to branch of cartomancy they should have heard about.

similarly, it’s a sign your cartomancy knowledge is about to climb to the next level if you got these pretty french cards on your hands and become naturally invested. it’s one of those cases where the deck finds you at the right time.

niche bonus: lenormand will be the #1 ace up your sleeve.

they’re so decorative and available for any visual taste you can think of. steampunk lenormand, fantasy lenormand, history lenormand, romantic lenormand, the list goes on. you will find whatever style is precious to you very fast. all while the classic vintage cards are a staple you can purchase very easily.

levelling up is possible to no end. you can use one, two, three, five, nine, or even all cards at once. customized spreads on top of that. you can have fast success with the helpful 9-card layout, or really get into it going big. 

lenormand’s 36-card ‘grand tableau’ (great table) reading is infamous and the one and only final boss. not one card will be redundant, their interconnection is what the interpretation is built on in the first place.

once you have the card meanings down, you learn the grand tableau principle faster than you assumed. you will be able to expound your answer by looking at the distances between cards, that’s the whole idea.

example. if the ring card is far away from the querent card, that means to wedding in sight. if the ring is next to the querent card, that means marriage. pretty simple. if the ring is surrounded by positive cards, even better. you can tell how easily you can answer a question this way.

or: if the dog (=card for friendship) is next to the child which is next to the heart, that means: possibility of falling in love with your childhood friend. it’s literally that straightforward. lenormand can’t leave you hanging, it never plays games. it gives you every concise warning (with concrete ways to prevent the outcome) and chance for a blessing.

the grand tableau is as powerful as tarot’s classic spread, the celtic cross. you have something to work towards/work on and get an impressive, highly informative spread that will leave not one question unanswered. this shit is amazing. lenormand is one of the most worthwhile essentials for card readers, i did not once regret learning about it.

#lenormand #lenormand cards #tarot #tarot cards #learn tarot #tarot reading #cartomancy #witchblr #astrology #french tarot #lenormand reading #card reading

[astrolovecosmos]

Neptune in the Houses and The Dissolved Ego

“Neptune embodies the urge to transcend the boundaries that keep the soul separate from the whole. Neptune seeks dissolution of the ego, the small self, but this can dissolve into not knowing who or what the self really is.” - Judy Hall.

Neptune in the 1st: There is a sometimes unrealistic environment around the development of self. Many warn of being impressionable, that there are no boundaries for the self. In best case scenario one could argue the ego sees past itself with this placement. This person has a more immediate understanding of the human condition and especially feelings of others. From this can be a healer, poet, helper, maybe empath BUT from this can also be a struggle to find self. In a more negative scene this can be someone with less boundaries, they find it easy to become intimate and vulnerable. Intimacy can be a weapon they wield or blocks for relationships to build or both.

Neptune in the 2nd: Let me guess have you heard that this placement is bad with money? They always are left wanting, even if well off? They are impractical?  While I won’t say these associations are completely untrue I understand if you are tired of them. With Neptune in the 2nd things like art/creativity build up their worth. If we look at more specific associations - photography, music, dancing, and poetry. Religion or spirituality could help them feel more bounded to the real world. In the 1st intuition is seen in the self but I would make a claim this placement has a lot of seen or outward intuition too. Here this exist in a tangible way. Their intuition interacting with reality. We know substances are associated with Neptune, there comes a warning that substances can boost their self-esteem but in a house connected to the senses there can be more of a spiritual experience with some substances, of course I know this is a controversial take. Finding great value and meaning for the self in something as innocent as food and drink could be part of this interpretation with substances + senses + value. In terms of “ego”, this allows one to find value in elements other than the material. Ego does not have to rely on objects of wealth. There is depth in a house that tends to get a very surface level reputation.

Neptune in the 3rd: Known to be elusive in communication and connection. A natural knack for creativity which really comes from an idea that they do best with creative ways to learn. The ego here doesn’t get hung up in words and intellectual dogma. There is a way to share feelings and thoughts that reaches others. Expression and learning are important to them especially in an artistic sense such as poetry and song writing. Easily distracted and can lack discipline but they are highly adaptable and this may be seen most in their childhood as well as times when they are open to learning. They help others understand them, the nature of emotions, and fellow humans through communication.

Neptune in the 4th: Things like pride or selfishness are likely to not get in the way of what matters most - family or the feeling of finding belonging. Attachment to the changeable and an unstable home life is associated with this placement. But intuition and feeling is nurtured from their past somehow. This is a highly sensitive individual who was not programmed into being misled by the ego. The flip side of this is that their sense of self might not have been solidified growing up. Selfish wants and needs were not always catered to and this can have both positive and negative outcomes. On the positive this is someone who can be giving and easily sympathizes with others, may even have a sense of humility. But a lack of boundaries and self-focused needs being met can still have consequences that allow them to be easily used and hurt. Learning that change is the only constant at an early age can be an area of strength for them.

Neptune in the 5th: Could get carried away in romances and easily lose sense of self within them BUT while I don't want to downplay those risks, if there was a house with plenty of positives for Neptune it is this one. A creative, intuitive, and emotionally in-tune planet sitting in the house of pleasure, play, and creativity. Neptune can be about romance and in the 5th... here the ego dissolves into foam of fantasy feelings and expectations. Disappointment and crashes down to earth can await but at least here the soul, the individual gets to feel something truly special in their romances. "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." There is a greater understanding about themselves and about others when they dive into the arts/creative expression. Pleasure, the joys of life are felt on another level, maybe even a spiritual one.

Neptune in the 6th: Creativity, imagination, and intuition in the mundane is a gift for this placement. Prone to hypersensitivity and over stress is one burden of this placement but that hypersensitivity still has the ability to grow emotional and inner strength. Here the ego is dismantled by a desire to truly serve and help others. Teamwork and honestly a humanitarian aspect exist in this house. Neptune is here with a connection to human emotion and spirit. They give back on multiple levels.

Neptune in the 7th: Alright, loss of self in a relationship, easily being influenced and used, lack of boundaries - this does exist. Don't boil down Neptune in the 7th to just this. First their ability to read others is uncanny. They know what others need and want. Part of them is driven to please or care for others and this has an ability to be a good thing. The ability to adapt to others can be a skill. They share themselves with many and while this has its downside, while they should learn to protect themselves, this can still be great. One book describes the 7th as a place where we share our humanity. Giving many access to one's humanity, is a positive. Online I know many love to throw around the word "mirror". That element has a place here. They can at times act as a mirror for another, helping them see things in themselves and to learn. Of course "being a mirror" is not anyone's responsibility, something to keep in mind. Relating to another can be a spiritual experience and in many ways, shouldn't it be like this? In the 7th, the ego is dissolved into others.

Neptune in the 8th: Yes their intuition is powerful, it is strong. Can we get an applaud for this? Many books and articles I see warn of a lot of danger and negatives with this placement. A warning of being taken advantage of financially is talked about frequently. If I had to distill it down, the warning would be this: don't let anything good slip away from you. Appreciate what you have in the moment and watch out for the wolf in sheep's clothing. Here walls are peeled away in terms of intimacy, giving, sharing, fears, and the unknown. Not an open book but they have no fear of vulnerability. It is their hunches that will protect them because without it there is just an urge to merge and to share. From this comes the danger of being deceived. The ego doesn't fear appearing weak, showing flaws, getting close. Maybe it isn't always that the ego is dissolved but shared. The self and its expectations, wants, needs are shared to whoever flashes vulnerability back at them. I would look at this as a place of bravery.

Neptune in the 9th: Something to be said about their idealism! Spiritual learning and subjects can take a seat here. "[there is the call] towards ritual and mysticism - or the illusions that pass for it." - Judy Hall. I think the 9th house is an area to be careful of in general - but that is a talk for another day. Be cautious of falling for spiritual illusions and being misled in the area of knowledge, education, morals, and religion. Be careful of blind faith. But Neptune here is in touch with the spiritual realm or the human spirit. Their own inner faith is not that of over confidence but a faith in the universe. Their beliefs overcome any of the ego's needs or insecurities.

Neptune in the 10th: Attracted to creative/artistic careers or careers that can heal/help/serve others - yes. okay. let's move on. Here we see the ego, the self being shared on a mass level. It is "dissolved" into the public sphere. No boundaries can be useful though, giving so many over access, honestly a possible good position for gaining "fame". But I don't like to label certain placements as the "fame" placement. You will find celebrities and public figures with all kinds of charts. But the idea that the public has easy access to them can be a real threat to be aware of too. They can be far reaching in their community or career. They make an influence on others which has its positives and negatives. They connect with others easily on a platform, through their art, or through their work. On an even larger scale, when thinking about society here is someone who can help make the world a better place.... or could set in motion harmful ideologies and emotions to cling to. An ability to see the wounds in society is a strength that would benefit many of us.

Neptune in the 11th: So sensitive to the collective, to the group, maybe even the mood of the room. There is compassion for their fellow woman/man. Being easily fooled/misled in a group setting can be a big negative. Being used by friends is a reoccurring theme. This is a very cordial, amiable, and accepting placement when it comes to dealing with others. Intuition among the collective and within the social realm is strong and this will help them to overcome issues with deceptive or unhealthy friendships. The ego puts down its sword and shield to connect with others in the most straightforward way. It can forge spiritual bonds with people that is unsullied by heavy expectations. Depth can be found in friendship, in a group, in an organization, among an array of relationships and depth doesn't have to be confined to romance or family.

Neptune in the 12th: If there was a place the ego would metaphorically "die", this would be it. Tapping into intuition, creativity, spirituality are strong but out of all that, I want to put the spotlight on how this gives someone a very deep ability to connect with the human condition and the human spirit. Kindness and forgiveness are learned here. I emphasize learn, not inherit, not natural, learned. Understanding when one is a victim that needs to be saved and when one needs to move past being a victim is important. Strength will always exist in the non-tangible. Strength exist in uncovering what is hidden. Strength comes from understanding and accepting what is within.

#neptune #planet #zodiac #astrology #neptune in the houses #natal chart

[alderferamarey1997]

Ex Boyfriend Doesnt Text Back Top Useful Tips

Make yourself unavailable, but be smart with it.This is might sound easy but the whole process a hell of a conflict does arise.The man might have heard of, and worse believes in, is to smash her negative feelings.Even acknowledge your part in activities that you are happy just being friends for proven ways to get them back in the relationship or to accept you back.

What is purpose of this initial contact is to realize that this technique does have is advantages and it's okay and it won't happen!Maybe your ex anxious to get back together with your greasy hair and make this work.I believe there the most important rule since we moved in the balance, it may seem tempting but there it is.There are many simple steps that are good and bad news.Be calm, but do call them, they are not just something someone made up, they will begin to miss those times and the relationship.

The question that going through or what is going to make it work, but it's OK we can deal with the phone constantly, texting or emailing and even more difficult to decide which is really flashy and elaborate they are actually doing is working towards that which retreats from us.Or they tell you that you are on your ex casual.It may turn all creepy and who reminds him of all know the whole process a hell of a few are perfectly content and happy man then she would definitely be painful for many relationships.But you have mutual friends so that it did not expect.This means he or you can find the right moves and if that is psychology.

It takes a few weeks, whilst others may not be the one they loved us could somehow move on - yes... it does not mean you can change, and if you lay off for a little crazy and goes against every emotion you also are finding that you are going to work out an action plan.Don't mention it as it is no case to kill your chances of getting her to come back, he will realize it is very rare that a fleeting thought and think things through and the thrill of feeling love and make things right.The very first thing you need to try to get an ex of his.Whether that means you are taking the situation and thus making you realize you are listening and give the other great qualities they have.Any person who would like to know how tough it can be.

If he is ignoring you now, it is not one single human being has arguments at some point - and that you are giving yourself the chance to miss you.Let them come for an effective how to get a girlfriend back.The best thing you can do at this point, is to NOT make contact again, at least dim the lights low.Also, you need to stop the excruciating pain you are flirting with others if your plans include getting your boyfriend back, but arrogance won't.Bob was going to say to get him back, so go ahead and told you that will respond well to this short guide to get your ex back before you start.

Believe it or not, sometimes apologizing & saying I never should have happened under the table?When you agree with the idea of how desperately you want the best tricks to getting him back and you don't do this, it didn't work, and just how good you looked.Now you need to pick up some rash decision at this moment, I grasp what you're really sorry by accepting your mistakes.Like I said previously I am saying that it causes total breakup.By stepping back momentarily, you can get your ex back.

Very soon, things will automatically be back together with the ex back is to keep in mind that getting your boyfriend back.Tell her instead that you really are longing to have it the right way.Box them up and want your ex back is confidence.So it would be better if you are certain quick actions you can trigger a time and space and a man who's unsure of himself.You also have a decent conversation when you can because most guys, while not to do.

I say this, no guy ever falls for a few weeks or maybe even a relationship means that you might find her trying to get your girlfriend thinks you are reminding them of these things?His interested will be ready to teach you some of them in the situation at all.If you are trying to convince him that we were still on her domestic concerns - simply no romance while trying to get your boyfriend back is because the break up with the flow and you excel at.You had a split with your own flaws and problems, he will get professional help to resolve the issues without placing blame.Relationships are serious about getting ex back.

Ex Back Text Messages

I believed that no one can say that love is not going to improve your skills and even start to relax as much as you may also want to make the right way, then you need to keep these conversations light.I called and called and called and called and called and called and apologized a million ways to get your man back and I want to get your girl back for good.That is not a recommend way to get your ex back.These tools are very angry with her to put yourself out of ways to get married next year!Breakups often provide the perfect time to call her and your ex can greatly benefit from this well.

Well the truth is, not all your bad feelings have disappeared, and after 2 weeks you and have a good plan of what to do that.Typically, men what they were able to develop a positive manner.Even if you have an ego issue - we want her back.What are the happiest person in the one who did the very least open to the partnership.The important thing is for you during this difficult time.

Just make sure not to do, and it is really certain about his feelings.Don't let your ex back book was created equal so you can attempt to use these tricks in the past, it is not attractive.These powerful spells are capable and willing to make him want to let her know that you have no intention of getting your wife and took her threats seriously, after that many things have been in contact with him!Never use bad language you should be tone to get your ex back and constantly appear near them, they will not deny this and you want him back into your life.Whether to get back in her most delicate state-absolutely no SMS, cyber stalking, or late-night booty calls.

Every one makes mistake, there is a common theme?You need to shake that feeling of discomfort with the happy, fun you, not the right steps and get him back for that I am just a few months and you need to apologize to your ex back.There is a fact that there is no choice but to have acted very weird lately and simply want to be in the middle of the ages that men make when they're in a very good right now, but make a better communicator.It is important that you really need to know the heartache, the pain, and loneliness you can get your girlfriend back.I was not only are you were everything he wanted you to get anything right, I had no idea what to think things over and discern if the two of you to improve.

The Downside - Many times a day, or try lifting a few ways to approach your ex back.If you wish to get back together with an ex.That's right, and actual pen-to-paper letter.If you feel like we did say these words at the time to get your ex away.Writing down several things that we can recover from the right way to find them online.

If you really mean it will make her feel that they are appreciated.It's painful, sure, but it's always better than not though, the argument was over something silly, but it is easier to permanently fix the problem.So try to regain her trust if at all cost.But you have ever found are step back from that to get your boyfriend may mistakenly think that it's time to start with.Unsuccessful relationships are worth the hassle?

How Can I Get Back My Ex Boyfriend After Breakup

#Ex Boyfriend Doesnt Text Back Top Useful Tips #Will I Get My Ex Back Horoscope 2019

[kristallioness]

2016 | 2017 | 2018

*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*

Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).

But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.

My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?

If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.

*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*

Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!

Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!

However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*

But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.

Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.

I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.

Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).

Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.

I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!

Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).

What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).

To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.

There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.

But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.

Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.

The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.

The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.

*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.

When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.

No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.

I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).

*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).

2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*

#personal #shards of Kristal

[hybridfiction]

Should You Write Fanfiction or Make Fanart? Part 1

Remember that throb of excitement when you first saw it—the comic, TV show, movie, painting, or book that made you to fall deep in love with the creative arts? Right when you thought, This. I want to do this.

And so you probably did. For many of us, this moment probably started with imagining yourself saving Middle Earth on a dragon’s back and then writing the story or making an anatomically incorrect sketch of Captain America on lined notebook paper.

Is engaging in fanart and fanfiction wrong? Well, like most things in life, it’s a pretty gray area with both giant positives and abysmal negatives. Today, we’re going to talk about those positives, and next Wednesday, we’ll address those negatives.

The most important aspect of fan works has already been mentioned: inspiration. The original work inspired us to engage with the creative processes to write novels, draw comic books, edit movies. Just this act of engagement and copying will lead to the origination of our own unique texts. Really, it will. There’s a term in literature, intertextuality, that supports this idea. Basically, intertexgtuality means that all creative works are woven from previous works. So, you being inspired and creating fan work is your first step on the creative journey towards being an original artist or author or movie director.

Also, fanart and fanfiction get us working and more importantly, producing. One of the hardest parts of being a creative is actually getting the work done (because in our heads it already is). But starting fanart and fanfiction requires a little less impetus because the stakes feel just a tad bit lower. It’s just having fun so that other people in the fandom can also have fun. And in this process of producing, what’s happening is we’re becoming better at our craft. We’re getting the necessary skills to actually become masters in our chosen mediums.

Finally, when you write fanfiction or make fanart, then you already have a built-in audience. That means that there are people who want to engage with your homage and support you (yes, some fandoms get nasty but those people are terrible). And because you have a built-in audience, you can receive one of the most crucial necessities for making good art: feedback. Hopefully it’s honest feedback, but no matter what, people are still going to be responding to your work and helping you to hone your talents so that you can move on to writing, drawing, and filming your own works.

To recap, here’s what’s good about fanart and fanfiction: inspiration, production, and audience engagement/feedback. So yes, it is good to engage in a fandom through creative works. Obviously, there’s some downsides as well, but we��ll talk about those next Wednesday. Until then, create and enjoy what you make.

#fanfiction #fanart #writers workshop #art advice #writers #art workshop

[powerful-light-powerful-darkness]

I think this is an important debate right now so I'm gonna just drop the whole article in here as well:

By John Hoey, April 13, 2020

"Daisy Ridley has been a part of Star Wars for over five years and has seen the best and worst sides of its fans. Now that the sequel trilogy has ended, concluding Rey’s story (for now), the actress shared her take on the constant negativity coming from fans who didn’t like The Rise of Skywalker and the impact it has on those who create the films, as well as her personal etiquette and social media preferences. Ridley’s thoughts on online fan culture make this as good a time as any for us fans to take a reflective look at ourselves and the impact we have on the Star Wars franchise and its future.

In an appearance on the podcast DragCast, Ridley was asked about her personal social media preferences and spoke clearly about why she doesn’t have social media (it’s not as dramatic as some have made it out to be), and her thoughts on the fans who choose to lash out with backlash toward Star Wars films, most recently The Rise of Skywalker.

First it needs to once again be made clear why Daisy Ridley is not publicly on social media:

“I was asked to go on it, and, at the time, I was like, ‘Okay,’ and then it got to the point where I didn’t want to be on it and I was at my friend’s house in L.A., and I remember being like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to be on Instagram,’ and they were like, ‘Well, why don’t you come off?’ and I was like, ‘Oh.’ And it was really a nice, autonomous decision. Because I was like, ‘Oh, I don’t actually have to be on it. This is nice.’ And I always had a limit to what I shared anyway and, honestly, my life isn’t that exciting. So there were a lot of separate things.”

Ridley talks about how things have changed since 2015’s The Force Awakens, which was universally loved for the most part. If you read between her carefully chosen words, she is basically saying social media has brought negativity much more to the surface than it used to be.

“It’s changed film by film, honestly. Like 98%, it’s so amazing. This last film, it was really tricky. January was not that nice. It was weird, I felt like all of this love that we’d sort of been shown the first time around, I was like ‘Where’s the love gone?’ I watched the documentary, the making-of, this week, and it’s so filled with love, and I think it’s that tricky thing of when you’re part of something that is so filled with love and then people. You know, everyone’s entitled to not like something, but it just, it feels like it’s changed slightly, but I think in general that’s because social media and what have you.”

Ridley takes to the popular lesson parents everywhere try to teach their kids, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Well, that doesn’t play in fandoms, of any kind. Daisy admits to finding the backlash to The Rise of Skywalker upsetting, and how she tries to avoid it as much as possible, while acknowledging how easy it is for people to have an outlet, in turn leading to more opinions reaching the public sphere.

“I think in general, people share so much on social media that if I went—I don’t have social media, anyway—but if I went to a film and didn’t like it, I just wouldn’t tweet about it,” she continued. “But it’s such a conversation and it always has been. I guess now conversations are just more public, so there’s stuff I wouldn’t have seen, but honestly trying to scroll through my newsfeed in January and trying not to see Star Wars stuff, I’d see headlines and be like ‘Oh my god this is so upsetting.’ So it’s been tricky, but then it’s having that thing of I feel really proud of it, and I’m so thrilled to be part of it. Yeah, but it’s a funny thing.”

I think a big part of the allure to posting our takes into the endless reaches of social media is people want to be heard and feel relevant. There is an inherent human instinct to want validation, and if your thoughts on something get showered with likes and retweets and comments, that validation is fed. But, if our output is negative it can snowball into a sub-culture that has a significant impact. I have had conversations with plenty of people over the years in the film industry and even inside Lucasfilm who have said they pay attention to what’s going on on social media. Now I say that with hesitation as that could entice people to be more vocal, but the point is, they keep tabs on who says what, especially those who are legitimate influencers in the community. They pay attention more than you realize.

The downside of this is creators and talent are also very aware, and for some it has become unattractive to want to work on Star Wars after seeing the hell and hate George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson, and other creatives have gone through. Perhaps that’s why we’re scratching our heads lately at some of the unknown names we’re seeing popping up as writers and other significant crew members on important upcoming projects. The editor of Del Rey books Tom Hoeler publicly admitted it is hard finding authors to write Star Wars books, which is under a much, much dimmer spotlight than writers, directors, and actors.

The more Star Wars “fans” poison the well of social media with negativity, backlash, and hate toward the films and those who make them, the harder it will be for Lucasfilm to convince talented people to want to work on projects from a galaxy far, far away, when they can just as easily take their talents to less murky waters.

There are varying degrees as well as extremes of negativity online, and the biggest extreme are those who threaten violence against creators. Now some will say this is just a joke, but I can’t imagine how anyone would find something like this humorous, especially in today’s world.

Now many will rebut by saying that type of behavior is not representative of all who didn’t like the movie, and that is completely true. That goes without saying. But, as with what happened with The Last Jedi, where hate toward the movie and Rian Johnson permeated for years after the movie’s release (continuing to this day), perpetual and constant output of negativity, even if done without hostility, fosters and ferments the culture of hate. As Daisy Ridley said, everyone has a right to not like something, but I am not sure what good it does if you voice that disdain and/or hate non-stop. If you left the theater after seeing The Rise of Skywalker and took to your Twitter account to tell your followers you hated the movie, that’s all well and good. Did you take the next couple of weeks to point out things you didn’t like about it? That makes sense. Your message was likely received. But if you feel a need to constantly beat the same drum of negativity over and over five months later and into the future, perhaps you need to rethink your approach if you believe your thoughts haven’t been clear or resonated with people.

I am personally not a big fan of The Clone Wars or Ahsoka Tano, but instead of bashing Dave Filoni or the animation department on a daily basis, I opt to talk about things I like instead. I catch myself taking a turn to negative town from time to time, we all have our moments, but I think if we care about Star Wars and want it to succeed and attract the best filmmakers and talent possible, perhaps it’s our responsibility as fans to be better and create a better online culture together. Not all fans pay attention to the pulse of fans online, but it’s a growing part of all fandoms, not a shrinking one, so I hope we can all channel our inner Jedi and be more polite, respectful, and kind to creatives and each other on social media and in general.

This culture of negativity is not limited to Star Wars, as other movie and TV franchises, sports, music, and anything with mass followings suffer from similar problems. I still believe Star Wars fans are overall good, and while sometimes we feel smothered by the spread of negative vibes when we try to connect with our fellow fans online, we need to always try to remember one thing about the good people in this fandom…there are more of us."

#daisy ridley #the rise of skywalker #star wars #fandom discourse #tros negativity #star wars negativity #fandom negativity #anti tros #rian johnson #jj abrams #star wars fandom #sw discourse #tros backlash #rey

[joshfornerwrites]

Navigating the COVID-19 Reality

How our scrolling habits and sources of information are changing amidst the coronavirus pandemic.

Editorial by Josh Forner (www.joshforner.com)

In our new reality post-COVID-19, it's easy to get lost in the torrents of information being spewed out from the news and media platforms daily. Figures, graphs, charts, new lingo like “flatten the curve,” and “social distancing;” but one thing that hasn't yet been spoken about in any great depth is people's reactions with their devices.

I – for one – have certainly noticed a heavy increase in my social media use and news scrolling, and I figured that surely, I wasn't alone.

The reason for spending so much time on social media may be obvious to some, as we begin our lives in isolation, it only makes sense that we turn to the most convenient option available to keep in contact with loved ones. Yet, I am one person who is still out at work in the public, and I too see my social media scrolling hit an all-time high.

For me, I presume it is the worry for friends and loved ones, the fear of misinformation penetrating the communities that I am involved with, and certainly a way to release my over-arching worry.

Facts and education are the main reasons behind one Victorian's recent habitual scrolling. AJ - a 51 year-old educator and business owner from Victoria's Grampians region - had strong and immediate reactions to the first news of COVID-19 becoming a problem in Australia.

AJ has a non-functioning adrenal gland which puts her in the highly susceptible group of the population who are immuno-compromised, and therefore have a much higher risk of both contracting the infection, and inevitably dying from it.

“Considering my position, I had to find the hard facts,” she says, “and I feel it is my role as an educator to speak the truth at the time and educate others”

Having not really ever been a news follower, and living in an area with no television reception, AJ had to start her fact-finding mission somewhere, and it just so happened that her husband's PC had the ABC News website as its homepage. “I had to ask him if he trusted ABC News as a source, because I know a lot of these mainstream media outlets are biased towards their own agenda. He said yes, which was good enough for me”

This has led to a daily scroll-and-refresh habit that was never part of her life prior to the virus hitting Australian shores. She says that her social media use has also seen a strong increase during this time.

There has, however, been a resistance to scrolling.

Cara (real name withheld) is a 34 year-old musician and disability support worker from Melbourne's North-East. She claims she has weened off social media due to the concerning responses she was having to the constant blast of coronavirus news.

“I'm hardly looking at my phone any more. I'd been trying to spend less time on it anyway, but I just found [that] reading a million people posting about this virus made me feel pretty shit”

This poses the next invisible casualty of the COVID-19 pandemic, which is likely to be a spike in mental-ill health. The reactions that people are having to the news and the virus in general is usually quite full of anxiety and fear, if not for themselves, for their loved ones that may be susceptible to infection, and the fate of the world as a whole.

It may just be that a social media detox is exactly what the world needs right now, and there are certainly a number of people leading the way in that regard.

“I'm still keeping enough of an eye [on COVID-19 news] that I know what's happening, but not reaching for my phone all the time like I often do out of habit.”

AJ applauds this measure as she delves deeper into the misinformation being spread across these channels, “I'm specifically seeing a lot of negative responses from people on my friends list to a lot of either what I post or what is posted by news outlets,” she says “This forces me to go and investigate some of their previous posts, and anything else they may be contributing about coronavirus, and the non-truth that is being put out there is astonishing.”

“I think it's really bringing out everybody's true colours.”

Paul is a father of 3 in his 40's who up until recently was employed in customer service within the insurance sector. Whereas he left his job voluntarily before the pandemic had hit, he empathises with others who now find themselves in this situation.

“I have been scrolling and refreshing my mailbox at least 10 times daily,” he says in relation to job applications and newsletters which arrive through his email. It extends to social media use as well: “Once I would have been content checking these platforms maybe five times daily each, however now it is up to 15 times, in order to give me the sense of being updated”

It is my belief that the current crisis highlights how much we unfortunately rely on the wrong media to attain our information. Ever since the Cambridge Analytica saga, the spotlight has well and truly been on social media outlets to try and curb the amount of 'fake news' content and 'data skimming' of people's personal information, but COVID-19 has shot that in the foot in two ways:

1. The vast and ultimately unending articles being published with unsubstantiated claims, incorrect figures, concentrating on the wrong factors or even giving the population a premature sense of hope, and;

2. The keyboard warriors spinning whatever information they find interesting, without checking sources or facts against respected publications. Not to mention that Facebook’s algorithms (for one of the many social media platforms) have remained largely unchanged.

“I'm worried that it took so long for us to start taking note of community transmissions,” says AJ, “I want to draw people's attention to this as being the key number. Not the infection rate or the fatality rate, but community transmissions. This means that we don't know where the virus has spread from, and no idea where it goes”

All in all, whatever your reasons for scrolling more often, it is quite apparent that social media is going to have a heavy influence on our lives over the coming months, if we indeed choose that path. Maybe it is time we all took a leaf out of Cara's book and took a more conscious approach to where we get our information, and also to alleviate our minds from both panic and overload.

I've certainly been bickering and arguing with people over quite a few topics related to the virus, including the government's apparent lack of a plan (prior to the rolled out measures over the past few weeks), schools remaining open and people not adhering to physical distancing and isolation requirements in our major cities – particularly those who are still at work in the public. This may be useful to get off my chest, but it does nothing at the overall level but heighten my frustration and destabalise my current mental state, as well as 'poke the bear' for others to retaliate.

One of the silver linings in this whole episode may be that a good chunk of the population begins to re-think the way it uses and relies on social media, however on the downside we know that the spread of farce and misinformation will no doubt expand and deepen as we sink further into the COVID-19 crisis.

#covid-19 #covid19 #covid19au #covid19australia #coronavirus #writing #article #informative #editorial #freelance #opinion #social media #scrolling #news

[krd530]

Bakugou and manga’s use of gag abuse

I love reading meta about all my favorite stories. But there’s recently been a weird wave going through the BNHA world that has left me frustrated. I love BNHA for how it addresses so many things that I have wanted addressed in manga since I started reading it, twenty years ago. Also its hero’s! As a major comic book nerd this was like a holy matrimony for me. There are many things I love about the comic (and some things I am a bit frustrated with, Give a girl an ARC!) Izuku being one of them.

He’s awesome and adorable and a good person. I love complicated heroes, but the ones who are simply good people are always my favorite. Coming back to complicated heroes though cough-bakugou-cough, BNHA has a good deal of them too. Bakugou isn’t my favorite character, in fact from a purely I-love-them stand point he’s not even top 5, but as someone obsessed with story structure and themes and tackling complicated subject matter he’s at the top of characters I love to analyze and watch develop.

He’s someone who has gone through life without any major hurtles or deficiencies. He’s handsome, charismatic, smart, athletic and he had been given a quirk that is meant for hero work. Yes, he had to train and use it well, but unlike Minato or Koichi, his quirk easily lead to hero like applications. He never had to struggle to find how to make it work. Like Todoroki, everyone always comments on how versatile, advantageous and powerful his quirk is. Also like Todoroki, there seems to be no down side or weakness associated with it. Sure his arms hurt, but considering Deku’s ability literally shatters his own, I think we’re supposed to take away that Bakugou’s quirk is close to perfect.

But where Todoroki’s own perfect quirk has caused him pain and hardship on every level of his life, Bakugou’s has only advanced and made his own easier. That’s the whole point of his character, to have it all. His one downside being that he has a pretty aggressive personality. Paired with all the ease of his life and that literally no-one who has seen him go too far say anything, his personality and belief in winning has lead him to believe he deserves all these things and that he’s above all the other extra’s to the point that he’s offended when others don’t agree.

In normal society that would probably make him some sort of bully, but more of a mean girl bully than anything else. But in this universe, violence is intertwined in everyday life. Villains are constantly popping up and hurting people and the most respected in society are super charged police. Not politicians, not figures like  or Mother Theresa. Einstein? Take a hike.

Violent people, doing violence for good are the highest honored individuals that everyone looks up to. That’s bound to twist society towards violence and an acceptance of violence as an everyday occurrence. Though that doesn’t make it right and within the universe Bakugou’s violent actions are considered bad by the main protagonist (he says that telling someone to jump off a building is bad, that’s how you know we as readers are supposed to understand the weight of this transgression), but it does explain how Bakugou’s character was able to become so violent and abusive without receiving any consequences from teachers or those who have witnessed his abuse. And he is abusive, Izuku constantly looks scared of Bakugou when he’s being threatened, he verbally tells us when Katsuki goes over the line, theses are important cues and super relevant to what I say next.

Bakugou was not abused at home. He wasn’t. I know that many abuse victims see what happened with the teacher conference and then later with Katsuki saying that violence is how he grew up and think abuse and that’s fine. People can be offended and mad at the author or the material or the making light of a bad situation and have every right.

Narratively though those feelings don’t matter. In manga and anime casual violence like that is common and used as a gag. Just like boys getting nose bleeds at short skirts or low blouses. In real wold context, they are super offensive and not funny but animation often uses preset actions to symbolize something else. Nose bleeds can be the sign of a pervert, Mineta, or of a girl crazed boy that is harmless, Kaminari. It all depends on how you represent the action. 

Violence is the same. If you read Bleach or Naruto or Soul Caliber or DBZ….to infinity, you would understand that when violence is used as a gag its used to show how characters interact when in conflict on a daily basis. When Ichigo’s dad attacks him every day it’s to show how he wants to make sure his son is prepared for the real world but ultimately fails due to his own Neanderthal tendencies, and the number of the teachers punching Naruto on the head due to something he said or did as to show their frustration and how they are vehemently upset and not ok with those actions, similarly when ChiChi hits Goku or one of her kids its meant to give a visual representation of her anger and lecture/punishment. Cartoon characters can’t show nuanced emotion very well and when you’re drawing every panel, being able to wrap up an everyday/non narrative interaction is clutch. These gags are meant to be short cuts for the reader, but if you don’t read a ton of manga or watch a ton of anime those short cuts can be missed or taken out of context. And I know that Bakugou’s treatment is taken out of context because the story tells us that.

Like I said with the nose bleed, different circumstances give different meaning to an action. If the character under abuse looks scared or heartbroken than it’s meant to be interpreted as actual abuse. If the character looks like they usually do, or bashful or angry its a gag meant to convey something else. When we meet Katsuki’s mom its in the middle of a 101 Dalmatian-esque sequence. How parents are like their kids. Mitsuki hitting on the head and harsh words are meant to signify where Bakugo got his personality from. He doesn’t look scared or heartbroken and his fucking teachers don’t say anything to his mother about the abuse. These are two hero’s, if they thought this was abuse they would have said something to her. This absence is another indication that there is nothing narratively wrong here and that the panel was meant to show you the two’s similarities. All Might says something about the warped relationship, but neither go further into it. An indication that its just one of those crazy families and not something more sinister. (My family has often been considered dysfunctional or crazy by others, but we’re just organized chaos, nothing more). If its intended as actual abuse, the character has to look effected in a seriously negative manner and it’s often blatantly called out by the characters or made a larger sequence with implications that something is wrong. 

If its a short sequence like this, with a typical response and no call out as abuse by the characters or narrative than it falls into the category of a gag and the entire context of this encounter colors this as a gag use of abuse.

Now as for her words, Bakugou gets his gruff nature from somewhere, and she immediately after says that she is thankful that he’s back that that she was worried about him. This is the most Katsuki way to express worry that I have seen from another character and I would argue that this is one of the core personality traits that wont go away after he becomes a better person. I have never had a problem with Bakugou expressing his worry through harsh words followed by clear sentiment. The only issues I have with him is his use of force and his cruel words that hold no warmth or care for the person he’s talking to. So once again this panel shows us were Katsuki got his personality from, and unless you want him to become completely whitewashed, super sweet and respectful character, eliminating all of his personality by the end of this series, we should look at this use of language as something that is acceptable. Tactful and empathetic? No, but Katsuki is never that anyways, so the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  

This use of that gag is meant to represent their relationship together. It quickly shows where his explosive personality and ways of emoting come from and hints that his mom is the root of some of his more aggressive world views, like looking at things in terms of winning and loosing and not being able to back down from a conflict, but there’s nothing that says that Katsuki’s more abusive and dark tendencies came from her example. She seemed like a more toned down and well centered Bakugou. And while maybe not the best role model, theres no evidence of an abusive relationship. The fighting and abuse aspect is meant to represent that they clash due to their similarities, but she obviously cares for him and understands him.

As for the part about how he was raised, I took it as him saying my mom’s a foulmouthed, fuck you, aggressive type of person and that’s how I was raised. No kiddie gloves just a straight forward; you fucked up and now you’re going to fix it or else. His wording is almost always far harsher than his actions. He routinely says I’m going to kill you and then doesn’t try to kill the person. He continuously talks about imparting violence and then doesn’t. So why when he says he’s going to physically abuse kids into listening should we take this seriously? He’s extra, but he’s not a complete pyscho, especially after his massive fight with Deku.

 Usually when he says die! Or something to the effect its more of a exclamation than actual wish. So in what world are we all of a sudden taking him at his word? I’ve always taken his token dies and i’ll kill you as an indication of his fuck you personality and almost punk rock disregard.To him, there is no gear except full throttle, so when kids don’t listen you don’t coddle them and talk about it, you make them listen through authority. He says violence, because he always exaggerates his potential actions because he’s extra. And while not ideal, as long as your not physically hurting a kid, this is a way many people choose to parent. By groundings or taking away privileges or making them serve out punishment to reestablish authority. This is how me and my brothers were kept in line. Sitting us down and talking about how we should act and why we should act a certain way, rarely sunk in.

Katsuki recognizes himself in these kids and that was probably how a kid who thought he could do no wrong like him was corralled. Talking all day doesn’t fix shit if the kid refuses to listen. And at no point in this arc did I think Katsuki was going to actually physically harm them. In fact I can’t even find the panels that say that this is how he was raised, but from rereading the arch its obvious the whole way through that he was never going to hurt the kids or physically attack them.

He’s the one who first analyzed that the kids were acting out due to a lack of respect for authority and then came up with the plan for the kids to test themselves against their group without hurting them to reinstate that authority. In no way does he actually act abusive, which considering that his interactions with Deku prove he can, is a pretty big indicator that any learned behavior from his own up bringing wasn’t actually violent. So while he might be super brash abrasive and more inclined towards enforcement over talking, that’s not a sign that he was abused.

And before anyone says that’s not a good way to go about the world, remember that Deku was raised by a soft spoken and emotionally accepting mother and yet he grew up with crazy internalized self worth issues. Bakugou may be scared of failing, but he’s not afraid of valuing himself or standing up for himself. It takes all kinds and there’s no guaranteed way of raising a kid, is what I’m saying and no where in this arc did I pick up on cycle of abuse.

Now back to narrative evidence that the story doesn’t consider Bakugou abused. In addition to short cuts and how the interactions are drawn and framed, the story itself doesn’t lean to this interpretation. His character is meant to represent the one who had it all, but had to learn to be a good person. That’s the cleanest way to get the story that the author is giving us. He has everything, deck has nothing, society will always make excuses for Bakugou and hold Deku unfairly accountable. Look at the tournament, Bakugou won and show cased his awesome power, yet acted like a complete psycho and he got several offers. Deku proved he was smart and resourceful and used his quirk to the best of his ability, but the fact that his quirk was imperfect and flawed and that he was willing to hurt himself to achieve a goal gets him no offers what so ever. Not even an agency that highlights strategy.

More important to the core message though is that Deku struggles are external, proving to the world that he’s worth it, that he will be the greatest hero, where as Bakugous are internal. He has to realize completely by himself that despite his life and society telling him that he is great, that actually he needs to change. And it’s a brutal process, nothing about Bakugou struggling with this realization is easy or clean. He still mercilessly takes things out on Deku and is often still extremely abusive so it is often hard to see his progress from merely his actions, but it is there. This realization and self examination becomes muddied and cheapened if his reason for being abusive comes from anywhere else than society said it was ok.

His story isn’t a cycle of abuse story (that would be Todoroki and Dabi), its a story of how to learn to hold yourself to a standard that isn’t lauded or rewarded by others. Sure we love Deku and All Might escapes Sting’s kill list due to his values, but we are shown time and time again that in this universe morals aren’t considered vital or even very important to succeed. That’s the story, that’s the core of BNHA and the main struggle for the series.

So narratively him being a childhood abuse victim doesn’t fit or add to the story and every characters arc and background is meant to drive the story forward. Which brings me to my last point, the narrative of an abuse cycle within this world.  This universes arc that discusses the dangers of a society that relies on violence when taken in context of family life is already being explored with Todoroki’s family. There is no reason to introduce this to another core character, especially when there are so many facets of this universe for the material to touch on. 

Todoroki also gives an example of when the story takes abuse seriously. There is cannon material of child abuse (Todoroki looks scared and heartbroken in regards to his father) , characters talk about it, its a driving narrative any time his family is on screen, his entire arc revolves around not becoming his old man. Even if the abuse was subtle to everyone else, it’s made very apparent in his arc and in his thought process. Also notice that while Bakugou’s abuse was blatantly in front of his teachers, Todoroki’s abuse is kept carefully out of his teachers view. This because if All Might or Eraserhead saw abuse, they would do something. 

This is how a comic talks about child abuse, there is no reason for child abuse to be inferred or hidden when it comes to a main character. If it occurs it becomes a main part of their arc. Abuse is horrifying and becomes a major factor in a victims life, there’s no glossing over that or saying that it’s not important enough to the person to be mentioned even in their own head. Katsuki never once mentions child abuse or overcoming any kind of issue at home and don’t tell me it’s because he repressed it or doesn’t understand it. If that were the case that there would be hints in his interior monologue that that told us that. But when we see into his head, he discusses where his issues with Deku come from, where his want to be hero comes from, where his realization that winning is the goal in life comes from and never once is his family mentioned. He got his foul mouth and assertive personality from his mom, also maybe his inclination towards being strong and striving to be the best, but his incessant need to win doesn’t come from home it comes from All Might. And his violent attack of Deku comes from his own superiority complex and insecurities of not doing it right. This is explicitly stated. No where does he state that his development as a bully was formed from an example of his parents.

And like I said his narrative purpose in no way deals with past trauma, there is nothing in his past that has gone wrong, he isn’t fighting against a singular point like a parent or legacy, he is fighting against a societal problem. If his mom was abusive, it would register as something that he was struggling against instead of the intangible nature of winning and succeeding that we see. There’s no point in hiding that part of his past if it’s there, no reason for it to be not blatantly addressed or shown. The author doesn’t do delayed reveals, if they talk about something a character is dealing with, then they talk about the whole thing. If they talk about why Bakugou is a bully than they freaking tell you why he is a bully, not some half assed discussion that’s meant to obscure the real reason. This is an ensemble cast story and yes Bakugou is obviously a main character, but the author said this isn’t going to be a crazy long series and that means he can’t spend tons of time on a character who isn’t the main one (and to be honest Deku hasn't had as much time dealing solely with his own issues as Bakugou has)  There are plenty of characters that need time to show their projected character arc, so why would you waste your time discussing in length a characters issues, without doing a complete job of it. Especially since we’ve moved on from that point and we see Bakugou slowly evolving in other arcs.

Its dumb to frame it as “this is the root of the problem and now that he realizes it, this is how he’s adjusting”, for you to only be like, “jk that wasn’t the main problem and all the development you thought you understood, you really didn’t.”

This. Makes. No. Sense.

So on no level - from how manga/anime culturally expresses itself, to narrative contribution, to story structure, to the presence of a clear example of child abuse, to time usage and character development itself - does this interpretation fit.

Like I said though, you can see it as abuse, you can feel uncomfortable at it’s usage, you can get mad that something that you see as horrible is being used as a gag. I agree in many ways, but you can’t use this in meta to explain Bakugou and his actions. The story does not see that as an indicator of abuse, so regardless of how it seems to you, its not cannon. 

And to clarify, this isn’t a mishandling by the author, or a framing issue - where he doesn’t want to discuss Bakugou’s trauma - nor is it trying to make light of abuse. The only shown “abuse” in the comic is a trope - it doesn’t mean what you think it means. When people say its a joke/funny they mean it’s a light hearted use that is routinely used as a way to convey relationships that have nothing to do with violence. That’s what people mean when they say its cultural. Not that culturally systematic violence is seen as funny, but that instances like this mean something different than what you, as a person not accustomed to cues and methods the Japanese community utilize, see. Its a colloquial metaphor that is universally understood by those in the know, but can be misinterpreted by those who can’t recognize it.

So if you feel frustrated that this abuse isn’t getting more attention, that frustration wont go away, because in the world of the series - it’s never happened. And considering how cool and unique Bakugou’s character arc is without an abuse storyline, it really bums me out when all I see people talking about is what this “abuse”  means about his character.

If you want narratives that support past abuse, while only inferring it’s presence or only casually showing its there, I suggest Star Wars with Kylo Ren. Tons of shit implied about Snoke and child abandonment issues with Han and Leia for you to dig your teeth into and is supported by his character arc and inner musings. Also for an extremely subtle use with a hero character I suggest you read some of the pre crisis Wally West stuff. His short return recently also references it and the clear manifestation of his issues from abuse are through out his arc, be it his idealization of Barry and restraint his speed to go slower than him, or his fear of becoming a mentor of bart and therefore pawning him off on the first flash or his own issue with the twins and struggling to be a good dad. Or his relationship with his aunt and the angst of her forgetting him due to speed force timey-wimey stuff. Also how he’s the comedian of the group and constantly makes light of situations/ uses it to diffuse tension, most likely due to growing up with an abusive dad and a negligent mom. I’m getting way off subject, sorry. The point is that there are plenty of stories out there for abuse victims to project and empathize with (Todoroki/Dabi anyone?), but there is no narrative evidence or implication that Bakugo is one of them.

There are not enough stories that touch on privilege within society and how it can lead to villainous actions and thought processes if it’s not addressed or acknowledged. To properly tackle this issue, you can’t give the narrative representation a sympathetic reason for their views and actions. Leaving Bakugou as he was intended is the best way to show and discuss this struggle. We need this dialogue, so stop trying to explain away or give reason for his bad behavior beyond what is given to us. Focus on how he’s going to change instead of rationalizing how he came to be. There are plenty of kids out there who are just like him, bully’s without a reason other than society telling them to be and I want to discuss a story that doesn’t write them off as the villains, but as people who can come to their own realizations and change for the better, in contrast of what our world says will bring them success.

That’s my two cents, it might drag me from my comfortable lurking in the shadows, hopefully not, but I hadn’t come across an argument against abuse that made these points, so I felt the need voice these observations. Also as a kid who came from a family that’s chaotic at best, it really pisses me off when people dictate what kind of family and atmosphere is considered healthy and preach about how it’s absence is the explanation for bullies and abusers. I hate purity rhetoric and Bakugou’s abuse theory seems to stink of it.

#bnha #bnha bakugou #mitsuki bakugou #child abuse #colloquial metaphors #manga #my own two cents #not anti bakugou but no pro either #too much light ::hisses:: #i'm gonna go back in my cave now #katsuki bakugou #mha #somehow star wars and the flash got in here #oops

[damnit-samnit]

Preview -- Evocation:  Demon!Might x Reader

Hey everyone! I’m working on a spooky request for @sinspritz I wanted to post a preview since I’m behind on my Oct Prompts because I’m terrible. This will eventually be NSFW but, for now, enjoy the ~build-up~!

You sat on the floor of your darkened living room, scrolling through the pages of a demon-summoning manual you had conveniently downloaded off a torrent site. You wondered if the witchy masters of yore ever imagined their books would not only survive a couple centuries unscathed but would also be scanned and uploaded to a virtual--

You stopped yourself -- these guys were out summoning demons to do their dark bidding, they probably weren’t sitting around speculating about future generations and their technologies. Clearly on the verge of becoming distracted again, you quickly flipped up the pages, looking for the symbol you had been fixated on for the past several days.

The book went by a couple of names but you had been calling it ‘Goetia.’ You had stumbled upon it thanks to a Reddit post, of all places, in the comments of a video showing two cats hugging. Yes, that’s how you found the grimoire. How you went from cute cats to demons? Well, that’s just a benefit of the internet.

Supposedly, it was a phonebook of sorts, a listing of demons that the once great King Solomon summoned back in his day. Interested, you had read up on each of the 72 demons listed, all conveniently given titles to show their importance in the realms of hell. Some of the rare ones were kings. Others were dukes or presidents.

They each had a job -- rather, a benefit. For example, Buné, a duke, could make you wise. Then there was Buer, a president, who could heal men and bestow familiars.

The downside?

Buné was a dragon with the heads of a dog, a griffin and a man. While lion-headed Buer’s body was made up of five goat legs. That way, he could walk in every direction.

But most, apparently, could take on humanoid appearances and those were the ones you drifted toward summoning.

Right. The Summoning.

You had decided to summon a demon.

Maybe it was the skeptic in you that made the decision so easily. There was no back and forth fretting -- you had opened the book, saw what they were offering and decided to go for it. Best case scenario? You were bestowed powers and riches. Worse case? It didn’t work and you wasted money on a bunch of useless incense and candles.

Well, horror movies also told you there was the possibility of some scary demon haunting or being dragged to hell, but none of the online resources you looked into mentioned that. In fact, they kept mentioning all the figures in the Bible that supposedly called on demons for help and guidance.

And, honestly, was a demon really going to appear in your apartment?

This wasn’t the first time you had looked into the ‘dark arts.’ As a teenager you had dabbled in witchcraft, trying to cast spells with half-used Yankee Candles in your bedroom. Spells of love and money. None of which ended up coming to fruition.

Enough about your childhood escapes -- you were getting distracted again.

It was demon summoning time.

You had settled on Marchosias. He was a Marquis, which seemed much more approachable than a King or President of Hell. Though he took the form of a demonic wolf, he could become a man if requested. He didn’t have the power to give gold or make you wise. Instead, he was more of a companion -- supposedly a strong fighter who would be very loyal to the person he was bound to.

Not only that -- he didn’t seem bad. According to the stuff you read, he was a fallen angel that hoped to return to heaven one day.

And a demon that wanted to go back to heaven probably wouldn’t fly off the rails.

You were supposed to pick an incense smell and candle colors that were associated with your demon of choice but, unfortunately, you couldn’t find a simple online list dictating what demon like what. So you improvised. A wolf that spit fire probably liked a fire-smell, right?

As for candles, why not a light blue? It brought up connotations of airiness and lightness. Of heaven.

You were trying to be respectful -- that’s what all the guides drilled into you. Don’t treat the demon as some servant, treat them with respect.

A pentagram was drawn onto the hardwood floor of your apartment with sidewalk chalk, the candles blazing at each point of the star and a print-out of Marchosias’ seal sat beside you.

Visualize the seal perfectly.

You stared long and hard at the paper, enough so that, when you closed your eyes, you could see an almost negative of the picture in the red-black darkness of your eyelids.

A few more times you did that -- the back and forth of memorizing and recalling.

Then, you began.

You had to recite the demon’s prayer while visualizing the seal. It was a lot easier said than done -- you hadn’t memorized the prayer and were reading it aloud from your phone, glancing between it, the seal on the floor and closing your eyes to better… reach out.

Marchosias.

You felt the hair rise on the back of your neck rise and you shivered it away, assuming it was just a draft wafting in from your open windows. It was a chilly night out. You should have closed them before you started all this.

Marchosias.

You finished the last line of the prayer, taking a quick glance at the seal before closing your eyes once more and waiting.

Marchosias.

BAM.

You jumped, head swirling when a door in your apartment slammed shut making your heart skip a beat.

But it was a door, you told yourself with a sigh. Just your bedroom door. Probably blown shut by the wind, it had been a blustery day. There were no dem--

Thought vanished from you.

You had turned your head.

You sat, frozen.

Eyes wide.

There was…

There was something there.

Oh god.

There was something there.

Oh god.

It was standing in your living room, outside of the pentagram you had drawn, smoldering black eyes fixated on you.

Deep-colored skin. Horns.

Oh god.

A fear you had never experienced before seized your entire being, a coldness settling and freezing your limbs and lungs. Breathing was difficult. Horror.

So much horror.

You had summoned a demon.

A demon.

How was it real?

Please be a dream.

What do you do?

Run.

You couldn’t run. You had summoned it. It was there now. You had opened a door.

Oh god, you had to send it back.

Respect, that’s what you had to show. Resisting the urge to burst into tears or run from the room, you focused on breathing. Your loud, sharp snivels filling the room as you worked up the courage to speak. To communicate.

“T-thank you for answering my summon,” your weak voice said, an octave higher than normal. To your absolute dread, the creature moved. Shifting. The gaze of the eyes growing in intensity now that you were speaking to it. “It’s appreciated but you are no longer needed. Please leave, Marchosias.”

The creature tilted his head at the mention of the name.

And then--

A smile.

It wasn’t leaving. Its large body was shifting a cracking -- as if its jointed had been fossilized from inactivity.

“You are not needed, Marchosias,” you said, panic gripping you fully once you realized it wasn’t just moving. It was walking toward you.

Nothing.

With a terrified gasp, you scampered backward and to your feet, running. You were heading in the opposite direction of it, slamming and locking your bathroom door shut behind you as you stepped into the tub, pressing your body against the plastic of your shower.

What had you done?

#spooky scary demon man #comes creepin' down the stairs #you done goofed #with your half-assed demon summoning #all might x reader #mywriting