#there was a vision at some point but we lost it at about the 10th gif :

[mrs-gauche]

Hi! Any thoughts on the 'hidden track' at the end of the Bonus DLC Tracks for the new Dragon Age Vinyl set? "D'Read Koda" can be interpreted so many ways but 'dread bear'? Coda, the musical notation? (Do you suppose there's any connection to the bear and maiden graffiti art we see several places in Inquisition [or any connection between that mural and the one from The Missing {moon atop the bear and halla horns on the maiden?}])

Hi! Thanks for the ask! :D And yeah, I've been super curious about this as well! (And also the pre-sale for the vinyl now starting at the same day that the final volume of The Missing is coming out, May 10th 👀 but ALSO everything about the cover, like the GOLDEN CITY (omg???), the enormous DRAGON (Mythal???), the vines/tree branches (like Mythal's vallaslin/visions of her conquering in Trespasser??), the ECLIPSE in the background (according to Dalish mythology Mythal "created" the moon/"An Eclipse as Fen'Harel stirred"??), the summit/mountain beneath it (!!) and that single hooded person (with a staff resembling the headpiece of one of the two figures in the 2020 teaser mural/symbols in the new cinematic)?? The potential LORE revelations on this thing are absolutely bonkers, but I digress! 😂)

Anyway! I actually thought something similar when I first saw that mysterious hidden track name, that it has to be some kind of anagram or wordplay, given how much BioWare LOVES to do those and also with the musical term "coda" being spelled with a "k" for some reason, but what stood out to me especially was the random apostrophe that's in there, since the devs are also known for their (internal) "disputes" about the extensive use of apostrophes in DA for the elven language and names. lol

So to me the odd spelling plus the random apostrophe points more to it being an anagram for a specific elven term, but I have yet to decipher what it could be. 🤔

My second thought was if this "hidden track" could actually just be the final part in the "extended version" of the Lost Elf theme (starting at about 10:13), but then I looked up the game's files and noticed that this specific tune actually plays (though only once) when you first get to the Darvaarad and the full piece is about 2:40 minutes long (the hidden track being only 1:08), leading me to think this is probably what's titled "Qunari Atmosphere" on the tracklist. And after going through all the Trespasser music files I could find, there was nothing hinting at something like "D'Read Koda" either. :/

But you're right, "Koda" is also a term in the Dakota language meaning "friend/ally" or "little bear", but I'm completely at a loss as to what that could refer to. For all we know, it could be a reference to frigging Storvacker. 😂

As for your second question though, since you brought up "The Bear and the Maiden" painting/mural in connection to the mural in volume 3 of The Missing, there are actually a few other interesting aspects to this that I've been thinking about, but before I start rambling get to that point, let me just put the rest under a cut so people don't get spammed with an exhaustingly long text post. lol

First off, for reference, this is the painting we're talking about, featured in various places throughout DAI!

People have made quite a few speculations about this imagery over the years. For one, given that it is not exclusively found in elven ruins and filed under "Fereldan art" in the game's files, some people assume it could depict an old legend of the Alamarri. Others have suggested that it's actually just a little easter egg in reference to the "The Bear and the Fair Maiden" song in ASOIAF. lol

But by far the most popular take on this, is that this is depicting the elven gods Dirthamen and Ghilan'nain. Based on Ghilan'nain's sacred animal being the halla and the lady with her all white appearance and her antlers kinda resembling one as well. And Dirthamen's sacred animal being a bear (among others, I think). Which would pose the question though, why these two are portrayed in such a way, when there's nothing in the lore that could give us an explanation?

To me, it almost looks like the maiden is trying to calm the bear down/keep him in check, who has gone out of control and is now turning into a wild beast (that can apparently also breath fire? lol). With what we know of Ghilan'nain now, it's definitely possible that her horrifying experiments and creation of all kinds of freaky creatures might have inspired such imagery.

So, while I can see how you could draw a parallel to the mural in volume 3 with the way they're positioned/embrace each other, I don't know what else to derive from this, other than that it would point to the bottom "red one" being Ghilan'nain and the "green one" being Andruil and not the other way around, or that Andruil was maybe able to shapeshift into a bear? lol But if we're going with my assumption that the bear is losing control over itself, maybe it could refer to the stories of Andruil succumbing to madness from hunting the Forgotten Ones in the Void. As opposed to the mural in the comic, where they seem to be rather peacefully in love (to me at least).

But while we're at it, let us go back to Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen's potential connection real quick (because I've been thinking about it 😶)! What's interesting to me, is that these two have actually been mentioned together in the lore, too, looking at this ancient elven writing for example that is only revealed to you when using Veilfire at the Temple of Mythal:

"His crime is high treason. He took on a form reserved for the gods and their chosen, and dared to fly in the shape of the divine.The sinner belongs to Dirthamen; he claims he took wings at the urging of Ghilan'nain, and begs protection from Mythal. She does not show him favor, and will let Elgar'nan judge him."

"For one moment there is an image of a shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes, whose form may be one or many. Then it fades."

So there we have the two being involved in what appears to be a judgement on someone serving under Dirthamen, because of Ghilan'nain's actions. While we don't know how much of this actually happened, it definitely makes you wonder about their intentions here. Why would Ghil do this? And why specifically to someone serving under Dirthamen? What was the outcome? And what does this tell us about their relationship? (And now that I think about it, what if this sinner was actually the bear in the mural? lol)

As for the sinner himself. Now, I don't know about you, but when I reread this codex again after several playthroughs, particularly the “shifting, shadowy mass with blazing eyes” at the end, I thought “Wait. That kinda reminds me of something......”

Look, I know it doesn't appear that way when looking at my blog for like five minutes, but I certainly don't think that every single codex entry on elven myths should be automatically assumed to be about Solas. 😂 That being said, I can't help but feel like there's a connection to be made when looking at this other ancient inscription, that can be found in the final chamber of the Solasan Temple:

Faintly carved into the stone is a figure bound in chains. Two other figures have turned their gaze from the central image.

The script below the image is ancient, though Solas is able to provide a partial translation:

Pride in our accomplishments and in our hearts. That same pride became (a word meaning corrupted or altered) within him, he sought to claim (indecipherable), cast from favor and so he was bound.

Hidden from mortal eyes, death lies within.

To me, this text always seemed to perfectly match up with the ancient writing in Mythal's temple. A person being judged for claiming (godhood?)/daring to fly in the shape of the divine (a dragon?), put in chains and "bound" as punishment (by Elgar'nan?). And again, there are two figures involved. If the events of these writings do connect, was this "sinner" the one belonging to Dirthamen, taking wings by the urging of Ghilan'nain and them now silently accepting Elgar'nan's judgement, making those two the "figures turning their gaze"?

The thing is, if I'm presented with an ancient elven text about someone's PRIDE being corrupted in a place called SOLASAN temple, how in the world am I NOT supposed to draw an immediate connection to Solas here? 😂 I'm not saying that the sinner in this story had to be him per se, but if the age-old theory about Solas having been a spirit of Wisdom once who somehow turned into Pride is true, then there's still the question of how or why exactly this corruption occurred? And, if anything, the story of this sinner would provide at least one possibility for what happened to someone who had been corrupted in ancient times.

"Cast from favor and so he was bound."

If Cole's cryptic comments in Trespasser are actually about Solas (and Mythal?), then it's safe to say that Solas was himself bound ("He left a scar when he burned her off his face"), which does make SO much sense, considering that he values free will above everything, his furious reaction to the Well of Sorrows is SO telling, oh and also, he lead a motherflippin Slave Rebellion. 😂

But if we're looking for further potential connections between Dirthamen, Ghilan'nain and Solas... Well, Dirthamen is not only called the Keeper of Secrets, but is also always associated with sharing wisdom, knowledge and giving counsel to those in need. His symbols also include two ravens. Wolf and raven being known for pretty cool 80s synthwave music having a special bond in many real life myths and legends.

And Ghilan'nain is the only elven god we know of who was a "huntress of the People" before she ascended to become the youngest of the elven pantheon (possibly because of her relationship with Andruil or her ability to "create" things). As far as we know, Solas was also one of the People before he "became" Fen'Harel. So they were very much alike in that sense.

There's also the tale in which Fen'Harel gets captured by Andruil, because he had angered her by “hunting the halla without her blessing”. Some people have taken this to mean that Solas made a move on Ghilan'nain or that they had something going, so naturally, given that Andruil and Ghilan'nain are believed to have also been lovers, she was not very amused about that. lol (Which would make the rest of the story even funnier, where Andruil declared to “punish” him by making him “serve in her bed for a year and a day to pay her back”. lmao)

Which brings us finally back to the mural in The Missing volume 3, that could depict Andruil and Ghilan'nain embracing each other, perhaps even romantically (btw, if you want to know why I think so, check out my post on volume 3. :D).

I kinda joked about it at first, but if we assume that this mural was actually made by Solas as well, then you do have to wonder why he would even choose to paint such an intimate moment between Ghilan'nain and Andruil, people he arguably despises? Though it'll be interesting to learn what their relationship was like before his rebellion and Mythal's murder. I mean, who knows, maybe the before-mentioned tale actually happened and all three of them made out afterwards (willingly or not). 😂 (I mean, we're still talking about immortal beings here, so what else are they gonna do all day? lol) Or maybe Solas was just the Evanuris' personal portrait/mural painter at one point. lol

Anyway, to conclude, all of this is partially why I assumed for the longest time, that the two figures seen in the 2020 teaser mural could be Ghilan'nain and Dirthamen (also the fact that Dirthamen's vallaslin matched up perfectly with the silhouette of the right figure and obviously everything about Ghilan'nain and her horrifying experiments in Tevinter Nights).

...but with everything we've learned since then, I'm now actually leaning more towards it being Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan (if you want to know why, I highly recommend watching this fantastic analysis!).

The only thing that still kinda irks me with this, is the fact that the only elven god that's known for wielding a spear like this is actually Andruil.

However, it is super suspicious to me how the "goddess" seen in this concept art seems to break out of what looks like huge ocean waves and how this "grey sludge stuff" from Ghil's ancient "pools" in Tevinter Nights was described to have "smelled like the ocean" AND the mention of (capital P) Pride in elven myths having "stopped Ghilan'nain's hand when she was about to destroy her creatures of the deep sea". 👀👀 (Also, is it just me or does the figure in the 2020 mural look like she's having algae hanging down her headpiece? Not to mention the tentacles. lol) So there's that.

Also, and I know this is the silliest reason, but I don't know if BioWare would expect new or casual players to keep up with all these long "complicated" elven names, since "Ghilan'nain" and "Elgar'nan" do sound kinda similar and people might get them mixed up. lmao So having Elgar'nan and Andruil might be a bit more distinguishable, just for the sake of making it a little easier for new players lol (I mean, they have changed names before to avoid this problem, like when the Tevinter city "Qarinus" was turned into "Ventus" because it sounded too similar to "Qunari", I think? 😂).

I don't know if any of this actually answered your question, I feel like I got carried away by like a mile. 😂 I don't know how I got from "D'Read Koda" on the vinyl to tentacles, but here we are. 😂 Those are my thoughts on.... a lot of stuff. lol

#dragon age the missing spoilers #tevinter nights #dragon age the missing #solas #ghilan'nain #dirthamen #andruil #tinfoil time #da4

[techforevil-er]

04/12-11/12/2022

Firebreak, Christmas activities and dinners (pt 1), how to work when I'm temporary (but not really).

The programme had the firebreak this week, and despite one of my teams carrying on as normal I had some time to contribute. \o/ I chose to join a group thinking how our product, which recently had its 10th birthday, would be different if it was set up now. I ran a short visioning session where everyone in the group sketched Crazy 8s and a more refined idea and merged them in small groups until it combined all the ideas. I also extracted some principles that were common to all the visions and made a quick service map w/ unanswered questions, building on a session ran by the PM who pitched the idea in the first place. Overall, it was fun but not as different as messing around with a prototype kit that one time. :)

----

Team 1 wasn't working together during the firebreak but I had a random reflection on how they're doing icebreakers every day during standup mostly willingly. All it took is a point system and a vague promise of a reward at the end of the quarter. ;)

Big thanks to that Slack I don't go to anymore for recommending The Daily Stand-up Challenge cards. Some of them don't work so well for walking the board and remote so I make new ones as we go.

I need to think what I can improve when joining a team from how things have been going with Team 2. tl;dr - when I started about a month and a half ago it was meant to be a temporary situation while someone was on sick leave and/or another contractor was being recruited. Additionally, for the first two weeks I was waiting for a PM, who then left after the next two weeks. Overall I think I'm the 4th DM the Team's had in the last 6 months. So personally, I've felt a tension between not wanting to mess with the team, seeing stuff that can/needs to be iterated, and being reluctant to take up the team's time with additional process improvement activities (when another DM may want to do things differently...). I think it's generally not helped by the retros only happening monthly but the main lesson for myself when in this situation is... don't wait, and assume you'll be around indefinitely. And just do the PM things if there isn't one around. -\(-__-)/-

---

Some work social things happened! Darts, which I inexplicably suck at despite an early lead in some games, and Postal Museum trip including the Mail Rail train ride - which was super fun and you should go on! The postcodes part of the exhibit only lasts until end of December if that's your thing, but I'm sure they'll replace it with something equally fun and geeky. I also bought the most DMy magnet from the museum shop.

----

In pottery, I picked up my bowls with cat figurine, dog, and a snake planter that looks like a big poo. 🤨 Goddamn you terracotta, I wish I painted ya!

I learned a new technique, called nerikomi which is working with differently coloured clay instead (or in addition) to using glaze. I made a little bowl with an abstract pattern (which Bella the Cat can use as a water bowl), and a bigger bowl with orange pattern which I am super excited to see! I also made a big platter and a small side plate with different types of 'normal' clay - where terracotta tried to fuck me over by running and being a mare to tidy. Here's hoping it calms down in the glazing and doesn't just look dirty....

----

I went to Yauatcha with a friend. It was decent (any place that even serves prawn + beancurd cheung fun is ok in my book) but the desserts were definitely the high point.

I've been watching The Traitors - as a game it's... mediocre. But the casting is amazing. What I really want to do now is play Blood on the Clocktower, let's hope we can at the next xgov games! >:3c

The soundtrack is so camp, I lost my shit when this started playing in ep1.

Oh, and I got the exact Epik High ticket I wanted. \o/

NEXT WEEK

Taking notes at User Research sessions. Hearing insights from a popup research day. Visiting THREE departments (apart from the one I work at). At least two Christmas dinners. Eating all my advent calendar cheeses?! And the Witcher 3 remaster comes out!! \o/

#weeknote

[hobibestboy]

🧈 (insp.)

#btsgfx #networkbangtan #bts #bangtan #gfx #there was a vision at some point but we lost it at about the 10th gif :/// #anyway really loved these videos!! #*gfx

[oneshotnewbie]

Loves the story about being Amelia younger sister. Can this came to my mind could you pretty please make this a reality lol. So the reader is Amelia and dereks younger sister ( obviously lol) and she gets sick. But she doesn’t want them to know because they will overreact. So without her telling them that she is sick she ends up getting worse and ends up in the hospital, just for Amelia and Derek to find out . Does that make sense. This came to me late at night lol. Thank you:)

For a few days your well being in your body had been lost. From an initial exhaustion and fatigue, for which you had perceived stress as the main cause to slightly stinging in the chest and body aches that you only stamped as tiredness of the last week, there was a lot going at university; lectures until late in the evening, answering 80 quiz questions daily on top of your homework so that you don't forget what you have learned and the tests you had to write in what felt like every subject you could possibly have.

It was almost midnight when you started to finish up your work. You were the only one in this house, at least you thought so, who was still awake to do things that had no time to be postponed.

"You look pale," did you hear your sisters voice and startled for a second out of shock before you looked at the clock for the 10th time this minute and slowly began to collect the papers and pens from the brown coffee table."Is everything okay?"

You just nodded a 'yes', not even bothering to talk out of feeling sick, and got up from your chair to pile up the papers in the back of the table when a wave of dizziness caught up with you and you used your hands to support yourself. "Just totally stressed." you mumbled as you felt a worrying glance and a hand on your back.

Slowly your vision returned to normal, you picked up your things into your arms and turned to Amelia who was standing right behind you. With an attempted smile, you squeezed past her and walked up the stairs. "I'm good."

Before you went to bed, you stole a pill from the bathroom cabinet and disappeared. -It is just a little cold- you thought.

---

"Y/N Shepard, 22 years young." the paramedic called as soon as the doors were opened from the ambulance and he pulled out the stretcher and got out himself. "According to first responders, she passed out while she was about to order a coffee.. Mild sinus tachycardia, blood pressure is low. Temperature is 102,38°F"

You became conscious before the ambulance arrived, but the people around you didn't agree to let you go and wanted to have you examined and now you were here, the attempt to escape from the mess was unsuccessful.

A little confused, you looked around and saw the faces of Owen and Meredith. Almost immediately, before the blonde could even say something, you cut her out. "Don't tell Amy and Derek."

She stroked your hair and looked at you confused and worried. She didn't understood why you wanted to keep your ambulance arrival a secret from your siblings. Even if she had a medical confidentiality obligation towards her patients, she had to tell her sister in law and husband. They were your family.

She nodded to Owen and he understood immediately that he should beep both of them on their pagers. As soon as he disappeared, Meredith pushed you into one of the examination rooms and started to look you up and down.

"Why don't you want the two of them to know?" she asked cautiously while placing some adhesive stickers on your chest and hanging you on a machine. "You know exactly how they are as soon as I am sick. Overprotective - and that is annoying. I am not a little kid anymore."

She stopped moving and looked at you. Her hands found their way onto your shoulder and squeezed them once just before she sat down in front of you and looked deep into your eyes. "They are your siblings, Y/N. Be glad that you have someone who cares about you."

She stopped for a short time and looked at your heart rate on the monitor before turning to you a little worried, adapting a blood pressure cuff on your arm, waiting for the results to show up on her chart. "You have cardiac arrhythmia. Have you had a cold lately?"

"No, I've just been pretty tired and exhausted. I also had a slight sting in my chest once in a while but thought it came from my stomach; I haven't been eating particularly well lately."

---

"What were you thinking by not telling us that you are not feeling well? You don't have three doctors at your home around the clock for nothing!" said Derek a little louder, his face flashed red like a tomato.

When he got the news, he immediately ran down to the emergency room, fearing the worst. He was pissed of when he saw you lying there and he was even angrier when he had to hear every information from Meredith that she had found out and what she suspected. "And that's exactly why I didn't want you to know. You always overdo it!"

"Y/N, heart muscle inflammation is not a joke! If you had carried off the crap and hadn't passed out in the cafe, it could all have been worse than just a few needle sticks and a comfortable hospital bed!" he shouted in disbelief as his hands clenched into a fist and the knuckles were already turning white at the strength of his nervousness which he underpinned by pacing back and forth in front of your bed.

He didn't understand how you wanted to become a doctor but couldn't listen to your own body. It was impossible for him to understand how you could let it get this far. Derek asked for an answer, but you didn't feel like arguing with him anymore so you just stood silent; you were too tired and exhausted to continue this discussion.

You knew it was a fatal mistake, but you couldn't change and jump back in time either.

Just before Derek wanted to let his anger run free again, Amelia, who had previously been quiet, had stood in front of him and gave him an urgent look and some slight knocks on his now crossed arms. "You go now and calm down. The shouting doesn't help anyone here and I don't think the whole hospital has to know our family issues." he bit his lip and looked between you and your sister before he disappeared, but not without slamming the door behind him.

Startled, you let yourself fall back on the pillow, put your arm over your forehead and closed your eyes. You knew you messed up big time. "I'm sorry, Amelia."

"You should have told us, then you might not be here and have to stay for observation." she said calmly, unlike your brother and started moving towards the side of your bed where Amelia sat down on the chair that was already standing next to it and gently stroked the back of your head.

Amelia understood why you hadn't said anything, she had gone through the same with him too. But on the other hand, she could understand Derek. It also hurt her that you hadn't mentioned anything and that you didn't let her help you. "From now on, no more secrets, understand? I don't want to have this horrible feeling in my stomach when I get a message like that ever again. When you are in pain then let one of us know, regardless of whether you think it is a cramped muscle or not."

"You are so over caring." you said annoyed and rolled your eyes.

You knew it was in their nature to react like that, but as a young adult you couldn't understand that exactly this small gesture showed how important you were to a person. You just found it annoying.

"At some point in your life, you will think back to that moment and judge it completely different. Maybe we are far too caring now, later you will perhaps be grateful to us for it and understand why we do this." she sighed.

"We do this because we love you and we don't ever want to lose you."

#greys anatomy imagines #greys anatomy imagine #greysanatomy #greys anatomy #grey sloan memorial hospital #ameliashepherd x reader #ameliashepard x reader #amelia shepard x reader #amelia shephard imagine #ameliashephard #ameliashepard #amelia sheppard #amelia shepard #amelia shephard #amelia shepherd #meredithgrey #meredith grey #derek shepherd #oneshot #imagines #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction

[justathoughtfulangel]

Colors - Kai Parker Fanfiction

Colors – a beautiful aspect of our lives that we often take for granted. If we didn’t have colors to differentiate objects, we would see the world in heartbreaking shades of grey. This sparked an idea in my mind.

I’m going to write a Kai Parker fanfiction based on the classic soulmate plotline: everyone’s world is black and white until they meet their soulmate. Keep reading to find out some details about the piece!

*not my gif

I don’t like writing with Y/N in the place of character names, but this IS a reader insert fanfiction. I use Rosalie Wilson as a placeholder. I also do not include physical descriptions of the Reader character, so you are free to imagine her appearance as you wish.

Rosalie/Rose = Your Name (Y/N)

Rose = Your Nickname (Y/N/N) (if you have one/like nicknames)

Wilson = Your Last Name (Y/L/N)

Here are some details you will need to understand the background of the story:

1) Only supernaturals/beings with magical abilities can detect their soulmates; humans cannot. I included this mostly to support the canonical Stefan-Elena-Damon love triangle. Damon and Elena did not discover they were soulmates until Elena became a vampire. Damon and Stefan didn’t know about soulmates when Katherine was messing around with them. If one soulmate is human, they will not see colors until they meet their soulmate again as a supernatural being.

2) Soulmate pairings that may appear in this series will be Damon X Elena, Stefan X Caroline, Alaric X Jo, Bonnie X Enzo, Tyler X Liv, and (obviously) Kai X Reader.

3) In some cases, meeting your soulmate is not always a moment of pure joy and excitement. That will be made clear.

4) The Reader (who will be labeled as Rosalie in the story) is a witch, and she was born colorblind. Her birthday is May 10th, 1994 – the same night Kai was sent to the Prison World.

5) Continuing on this idea, Kai had never seen color in the Prison World; he believed it to be another magical aspect of his punishment. It was only when he returned to the real world that he realized his soulmate must have been born that same night.

6) When your soulmate dies, your world loses color again. In this story, the Mystic Falls gang knew Damon and Bonnie were still alive even after the Other Side collapsed as neither Elena nor Enzo lost colors from their vision.

7) The story begins when Kai kidnaps Elena in Mystic Falls to practice controlling his magic. Events will vary greatly from the show's storyline from that point onwards.

I haven’t yet decided how many chapters this story will have. The Kai Parker One Shot I'm most proud of (The Shadow of Your Heart) ended up having a wildly different plotline than what I first imagined once I let my mind run wild. Though I have some major plot points in mind, I’d like to see what happens when I don’t have the entire fanfiction planned out like I usually do. Thank you for being a part of my creativity :)

This story is currently in progress. View the masterlist here.

If you’d like to be tagged in chapters of this fanfiction or any of my future Kai Parker stories, please leave a comment here or message me. All of my past works can be found on my Malachai Parker Masterlist.

Until next time, JustAThoughtfulAngel <3

Taglist: @bluelicious, @socio-kai-path1972, @prettybitchfatwitch, @genevivetaylor

#Kai Parker #Malachai Parker #Kai #Malachai #TVD #The Vampire Diaries #Vampire Diaries #Kai Parker love story #Malachai Parker love story #Kai Parker imagine #Malachai Parker imagine #Kai Parker fanfiction #Malachai Parker fanfiction #Kai Parker fluff #Malachai Parker fluff #Kai fluff #Malachai fluff #Kai Parker angst #Kai angst #Malachai angst #Malachai Parker angst #Kai Parker smut #Malachai Parker smut #tvd #malachai parker #Kai Parker x OC #Malachai Parker x OC #Kai x OC #Malachai x OC #Kai Parker x Reader

[crystalsenergy]

how to improve Saturn placements? - evolving our personality #1

the purpose of this text is to bring a possibility to improve negative points in us from other positions [which you may or may not have in your natal chart]. sometimes the potential for improvement is already outlined as a trend inside yourself. other times the potential will need to be created. but as long as you assume that you need to improve, you are already taking the first step.

I'm going to put positions according to this post here about the shadows of our personality, leaving from the assumption that what brings us more suffering may be precisely in these positions cited in the post.

SATURN PLACEMENTS

Saturn in Aries / Saturn in 1st house -> Jupiter in 1st house

in other words, you need to learn to have more self-confidence, a dose of trusting yourself more easily, being less afraid of starting things, getting to know something new, or picking up on something you've already started. you need more willpower, to notice more positive things about yourself. it's also important to note that you may have a tendency to be more closed in admitting your problems. the construction of awareness about your individuality needs to take place. you must be optimistic and less pessimistic about yourself and your potential.

Saturn in Taurus / Saturn in 2nd house -> Venus in 2nd house / Venus in Taurus

Saturn in Taurus or in the 2nd house brings the problem of lack of self-worth, of not being able to feel good enough for some situations. there may be a certain pessimism (not as strong as that of Saturn in the 9th house), but a "certainty" that things won't work out in the area of ​���finance and love. it may be that ppl feel bad about they value to someone, it may be that they have trouble finding satisfaction in things, they may have difficulty feeling loved enough and/or supplied by the things around them. thus, those who have this placement need to notice patterns in themselves of not valuing themselves, not feeling good enough for a specific goal or person. self-worth in the sense of beauty, aesthetics and value seen by others is something to be worked on, primarily from the inside. taking as an example Venus in Taurus, excellent position to notice where you need to improve, it is important that you see your value, know how to relax, enjoy small pleasures in life, learn to invest in yourself, see the value of money and your efforts, and always continue to be persistent.

Saturn in Gemini / Saturn in 3rd house -> Mercury in Gemini / Mars in 3rd house

considering what a native with Saturn in Gemini or in the 3rd house tends to feel, it's important that these people learn to incorporate some points, which necessarily need to include: self-confidence in speech and ability to express themselves without censorship. this can be helped especially by Mercury in Gemini and Mars in the 3rd house (or also Mars in Gemini). It's important that you understand the need to speak what you think, not unthinkingly - which I imagine would be very difficult to happen, knowing this position -, but in a more confident way, even a little impulsive in some situations (emphasizing: some situations). It's important to allow your head to function naturally with regard to your mental processes and thoughts so that you will learn to express yourself without so many internal limitations.

Saturn in Cancer / Saturn in 4th house -> Uranus in 4th house

in other words, you need to develop less emotional dependency. you must be more open about your inner life, and you must learn to develop a healthy dichotomy, not the duality that this placement tends to bring: Saturn in Cancer / in the 4th house brings a tendency to become more emotionally closed, conveying an impression to others that you are very well resolved and live well with almost everything in life. this is a need Saturn gives to people: need for control. but this control may not always be healthy, as it's most often. Saturn tends to create a strong possibility of extreme behaviors, due to the internal fear and rigidity that are generated. the person is constantly closing in, but she/he is extremely vulnerable. however, what must be learned from Uranus in the 4th house is another duality, a little healthier and more advantageous for those who have this position: that of being more open about internal issues, but also not being dependent.

Saturn in Leo / Saturn in 5th house -> Sun in Leo

there is no way for me to talk about improving this Saturn placement without mentioning Sun in Leo. bearing in mind that Saturn in Leo and the 5th house gives a tendency to ppl feel less able to express themselves, less able to show the world their potential, their abilities, or simply appearing, it's important that the opposite is nurtured by the native: it's necessary to understand that yes, you have an individual power, you have potential that can be worked, we all do. you have the capacity to achieve something, to ascend, to lead, if necessary. and it's also necessary to work on the idea of ​​self-esteem and on the construction of a less fragile ego (which exists in a healthy Sun in Leo).

Saturn in Virgo / Saturn in 6th house -> Mars in Virgo, Uranus in 6th house

two things need to be worked on at the same time: discipline and your ability to be less rigid. yes, it's quite dual, almost opposite. but that's what happens with Saturn in Virgo / Saturn in the 6th house, often the natives can't move because of an excessive concern with details, because they think too much about everything, charge themselves even before the task is started, which it brings an air of rigidity and discipline, but it's exactly what keeps them from moving out of place: excess. with regard to the excess rigidity that causes a person to freeze, Uranus in the 6th house can help, given the energy of more unpredictability and independence from patterns and the like. another thing that is also likely to occur with this Saturn placement is procrastination and wasting time on frivolous things, as well as an aura of laziness (which creates tremendous guilt). with regard to this problem, Mars in Virgo (or Mars in the 6th house) can help, as this placement of Mars is pure fuel to be practical, agile, diligent and organized.

Saturn in Libra / Saturn in 7th house -> Venus in Libra, Uranus in 7th house

this position generates in people a dichotomy of being closed to love and emotional situations, but, at the same time, being very dependent on loving relationships, for fear of loss, of being alone. to the point of a person who blocks too much from getting into relationships, Venus in Libra can help by bringing a desire to be with someone in a healthier way, from the idea of ​​sharing something with the other person, of living together and feel good from the company of other. on the other hand, as it's also necessary to take care of the dependency issue, Uranus in the 7th house is very useful, so that the person doesn't have an extreme need for the other to the point of getting lost in the middle of it and not being able to go out anymore. It's important to be open to love, but always understanding that a little independence, valuing the individuality of the other, can also be good.

Saturn in Scorpio / Saturn in 8th house -> Mars in Scorpio, Uranus in 8th house

these Saturn placements bring a great fear of change, an aversion to being psychologically open. here, there is a person who seems impenetrable because he/she hides his/her fears, traumas and problems. these people don't like to break taboos. for being somewhat conservative and closed minded to everything that the sign and the house placed means, it's very important that they know the need to be more open to different circumstances of life. it's important to understand that it's part of life: being intimate with others, knowing deeper and even 'dark' sides of yourself, understanding sex as something natural (Mars in Scorpio will help with these things); besides it's also important to understand that it's part of life to have psychological transformations, a greater openness to taboos and to understand human complexity (Uranus in the 8th house will help with this). thus, you'll be able to reach another level in your life.

Saturn in Sagittarius / Saturn in 9th house -> Uranus in 9th house

one of the marks of Saturn in Sagittarius is the issue of redemption to some philosophy or ready-made idea that aims to explain life. here, the native has a great fear of being impacted by the depth of knowledge - depth that marks the uncertainty of life and its ephemerality -, and therefore, the tendency of this native is to hide behind a philosophy or 'certainty' that supports and gives comfort. therefore, people tend to close themselves off and live in a tremendous comfort zone, or rather a bubble, in which only what they have decided to accept as the general premise of their life makes sense. it can also generate a lot of pessimism, a more closed and even prejudiced view of other people. thus, it's more than necessary to understand that life is much more than what you heard in some corner when you were child and that you share within yourself today, there are several truths, but none of them is absolute. and that's the grace of life, knowing more and more, and understanding the value of diversity and the impossibility of being sure of something all the time. open up to other philosophies of life, religion, get out of your comfort zone, question things and your limiting beliefs more. don't cover yourself so much in relation to higher education and have more autonomy when knowing a deeper subject, don't depend on someone for that. all of this can be learned through Uranus in the 9th house.

Saturn in Capricorn / Saturn in 10th house -> Mars in Capricorn

this position of Saturn is one of the least painful that Saturn can bring, however, on the other hand, it can increase in the dose of rigidity and vision totally focused on what is concrete, objective, earthly, forgetting other sides of life. and despite not being one of the worst positions to have on Saturn, it brings many difficulties with regard to career and achieving goals. either because the person feels incapable, having some internal blockage, a mistaken idea of ​​her/himself, of her/his potential, or because during her life the person ends up encountering many barriers to finally ascend professionally. in this situation, it's extremely necessary for the native to use all the energy she/he has in order to put the will and potential out. this is made possible more powerfully by what represents Mars in Capricorn, a placement of great ambition, but which represents the capacity that may be lacking in these placements of Saturn.

Saturn in Aquarius / Saturn in 11th house -> Venus in Aquarius, Uranus in 11th house

one of the things that these positions bring most difficulty to a person is the tendency for them to exclude themselves from others, either for fear of group acceptance, or for not feeling good about being with other people, preferring solitude. this positioning brings a behavior of being more independent, having few friends and being more closed to others. you may also be more closed-minded to try original, new, and surprising things, even if you have the creativity to do so. another problem to be faced is a strong tendency not to trust people. Venus in Aquarius and Uranus in the 11th house help with this because the first placement is more focused on living in a group, making friends, representing a more sociable person, and the second doesn't fail to cultivate people's independence, but still remains open to friendships.

Saturn in Pisces / Saturn in 12th house -> Sun in Pisces, Moon in Pisces

this is a dense, complicated position, which gives people a feeling that they must be completely rigid and closed to their inner life, their inner space, but the more people try to escape, the more they are led to face this side of their personality. this position represents problems with mental health, issues of closing oneself to deeper contacts with people, difficulty with empathy, altruism. the person can be made to think more often about life, and have existential crises. Moon in Pisces and Sun in Pisces can help with these strong sensations as the placements bring greater openness to introspection, which makes the person less tempted to close off from the inner reflections - which will arise!! -, making the person too able to be more selfless and to show her/his compassion and empathy for others more openly.

#saturn placements #saturn in houses #saturn in signs #shadow #shadow personality #astrology #psychology #astrology tips #astrology psychological

[awindylife-writes]

His Death

Relationship: 10th Doctor x reader

Summary: you get kidnapped and the Doctor gets shot. You both think the other is dead, but things work out very well. (Not an established relationship)

Warnings: mentions of your and his death but not graphic

Genre: hurt and comfort

You struggled. You bit and scratched and kicked and screamed, anything to get those mercyless hands off of you. The Doctor was running towards you, screaming your name in desparation with his coat billowing around him.

When you looked at him, everything in you froze. There was someone behind the Doctor, and they were holding what was unmistakeably a gun. Alien, big and shining silver, but a gun nonetheless. You opened your mouth to scream, to warn him, but there was a flash of light and the time was up.

The Doctor fell. This wouldn't mean anything if he got up, but he didn't. You could see he wasn't breathing, even though they were dragging you away from him. He laid limp where he'd fallen, and then you caught a sight of his eyes.

His eyes were open, and they were empty. The sound that tore out of you wasn't human.

~

You didn't know how long you had screamed. You didn't know when you had stopped. There had been slaps after that, and hits, but you didn't feel the pain. You didn't feel anything.

They hooked you up to the machine and some part of you knew it hurt, knew it wasn't right. But that part was far away, drowned in the great white nothingness that had consumed everything when he fell.

There was no point to anything now.

~

Maybe you would have woken up on your own eventually, or maybe you wouldn't have. The point is you didn't have to find out.

~

There was shouting, and sparks and terror, but you didn't hear any of it.

Then there was a face, a beloved face swimming in your vision, and the world came back into focus.

"Y/N!!! Y/N!!! Answer me!!!" The Doctor's terrified brown eyes were staring into yours. His hand was on your cheek. Warm.

"You're alive," you breathed, and the dam burst.

"You're-alive-you're-alive-you're-alive-you're-alive-you're-alive-" You surged around his neck and his arms immediately clutched you back.

"I'm here. I'm here. I've got you," his pained voice joined your chanting. "I've got you..."

When you ran out of breath, you noticed you were shaking, and crying and holding onto him for dear life. Then you noticed he was too.

"I thought I'd lost you," he confessed into your shoulder in that moment of silence. He sounded so broken and you hated it. He was still shaking in your arms. You both had tears on your shoulders and you were holding each other with the same desparation coursing through your veins.

After who knows how long, you finally smelled smoke in the air. You didn't want to let go, but it was time.

"Let's get out of here," you murmured to the Doctor. He begrudgingly let you go, immediately taking hold of your hand. That was when you looked around the room for the first time, and-

"What happened?"  you gasped in disbelief.

The corner you were standing in was like an island in a sea of wreckage.

The computer wall was on fire but one part was still managing to throw sparks. The large table in the middle had been broken in three parts and its legs were nowhere to be found. There was so much burnt paper, shards of glass and parts of machinery littering the floor you wondered how you would get to either of the doors. The medical-technical thing you had been tied into was turned on its side with its innards spilling out. You finally noticed the shouts down one of the halls.

You turned to the Doctor, eyebrows raised in question, but before you asked, he simply repeated, "I thought I'd lost you." His voice was quiet but tight with pain. When he finally met your eyes, you saw the terror hadn't left his, but you were glad to find relief in there too. You squeezed his hand.

He continued in harder tone, "And the people who helped me had lost a lot too."

You nodded, "Alright." You wouldn't ask about the violence it took him to get there, and most of you didn't care. They had hurt him. They had tried to kill him. His empty gaze flashed before your eyes and your whole body flinched at the memory.

"Y/N?!!" There was terror in his voice as he franctically looked you over for injuries again.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," you reassured him while your hands found his shoulders. You made sure to catch his gaze as you asserted, "I'm okay."

When tension left his frame, your palms settled on his chest, right above his hearts. Your eyes followed them. You took in a shaky breath. "I just remembered how you looked-" Damn it you were NOT going to cry again.

"I'm here. I'm alright." He gently tilted your chin with one hand while the other pulled you closer by your waist. Now it was his gaze searching yours. "I'm alright."

There was so much care in his deep brown eyes as he offered you a small smile, your heart ached at the sight. You just breathed deeply and nodded, then slipped your hand back into his. "Which way?"

You just had to suck it up until you were both back in the TARDIS. There would be enough time to have breakdowns later.

He got the message, and off you went.

~

The TARDIS hummed when he unlocked the door and let you in first. You held hands until it was time for the Doctor to start the dematerialization process.

As soon as you were in the Vortex, he turned to you with fear still in his eyes. With open arms, he softly asked, "Can I?"

You wrapped yourself around him and he clung to you just as desperately. You thought neither of you planned on letting go, you would just stand there and breathe until the stars blinked out of existence. That sounded like a good idea.

~

(If either of you noticed you kept touching more than ever, you sure as hell didn't bring it up. Considering you both had thought the other was dead, it wasn't that surprising. You were too shaken to stay apart, needing the comfort of each other's presence more than ever.)

(And friends did this, right? Friends who had just seen their friend die? It wasn't like it meant anything more?)

(You knew you two had entered into an emotionally uncharted territory a long time ago. That was at the same time both beyond dangerous and calming - there could be so many missteps and each one could hurt or break you, but this thing here that you'd built with him felt so good, so unimaginably good you wouldn't have parted with it for anything.)

Eventually you did break apart. You felt like you could have fallen sleep standing up, but the thought of wearing the smelly clothes on your back any longer disagreed with you. The Doctor let you go, but did not look happy about it. You took hold of his hand, not wanting to lose the comfort either.

"Fifteen minutes," you began. He raised his eyebrewos in confusion and you went on. "Fifteen minutes to shower and change, then we meet in my room to have a sleepover. Sound good?"

He looked relieved. "Yes. Very," he nodded gratefully and you smiled.

"Good. Let's go."

~

(You didn't want to ask how he'd survived; you hadn't even thought to. You didn't need or want to know, you just clung to the fact that he had.)

You almost fell asleep in the shower, but the thought of the Doctor, alone, was enough to make you move. Finally comfortable in your pajamas you stepped out of your bathroom.

He was sitting on your bed, looking a bit lost. The scene was so domestic it struck you as odd, and it came with that little sting of knowing he didn't love you like you loved him. But that was the least of today's pains and you let it go. He's alive.

He turned around at the sound of the door opening and found your eyes. Now the softness in the sight of him wrapped around you like a blanket and you never wanted it to end. You smiled and walked to the bed.

"Come on," you said to the Doctor as you pulled the covers back. The lights turned off and you welcomed the darkness.

You were reaching for each other before you even laid down. He ended up with his head on your chest, his arms hugging your middle. You tangled your fingers in his soft hair with the other hand around his shoulders. You were grateful for the Doctor's warmth, the weight of him, the feel of his breath on your skin. You clung to these reminders.

You thought he was listening to your heartbeat in the same way.

"You weren't there when I came to," he said into the dark, his voice distant and quiet, as if he would awaken a monster if he spoke any louder. "The last thing I remembered was you screaming as they dragged you away. You screaming for me." It turned harsh as he tried to keep emotion at bay.

"And I wasn't there. I didn't do anything and you were gone." His raw pain and self-loathing came like blood out of a wound and you pulled him even closer. You tried to reassure him but he continued before you could speak. "I knew what they wanted from you. And I knew I was out of time." Despair was loud and final now, that had been the end of him. You felt hot tears seep into your shirt.

"I was out of time, but l was alive. I couldn't even die properly." Amused bitterness seeped into his voice and your hand fisted the cloth on his shoulder.

"No," you shook your head into his hair. "Please no. Never that," you told him, willing him to understand.

The Doctor took a shuddering breath and went on, almost a whisper. "That's how the others found me. But they needed help, they were desparate and a part of me could go on on that. So I did. Just went where they wanted me to and opened doors."

"And there you were," you felt the Doctor smile into your shirt as disbelieving joy filled his voice. "There you were, hooked up to the energy compressor but breathing." He seemed to have trouble doing that now.

"You're alive," and oh, the light in his voice could outshine stars.

"Yes," you answered with a smile. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I've got you," your words echoed his.

He sighed. Tension slowly leeked out of his body as the fact that danger had passed sank in. The Doctor relaxed against you, every inch of you touching. He nuzzled his cheek into your shirt and the silence that followed was welcome.

You didn't know how much time had passed when he spoke again. "You're prescious," he said softly and you forgot how to breathe. "You are so, so prescious to me and I don't-" his words ran out. The Doctor was an eloquent speaker, so you were astonished that an emotion for you had made him speechless.

"I can't lose you." His admission was raw, as if imprinted on the fabric of the universe, a fact. The dark echoed with it.

"You won't," you said and your voice was final. "You wont." You had made a decision and the universe would bloody listen. You would make it listen.

You held him to you tighter, as if you could keep the two of you together just by doing that. "Doctor, since I've started travelling with you, l've seen lives, worlds, destinies turn and change on one person's words, on one being's choice," you whispered to him. "And this is it. You keep me and l keep you and that is final."

You could feel him smile into your shirt, and you were glad your words had managed to calm him.

"Yeah?" he breathed and you grinned in turn.

"Yeah."

He giggled, actually giggled, nuzzling his cheek  your shirt. The sound made your heart dance.

He sighed in content and together, you slowly drifted off to sleep.

#doctor who #doctor who x reader #tenth doctor x reader #10th doctor x reader #the doctor x reader #doctor who fanfiction #tenth doctor #10th doctor #reader insert #the doctor

[tatakau-gimu-wa-nai]

OOO 10th spoilers

I decided to write a review after a few days, just so my frustration wouldn’t cloud my judgment too much.

So. I’ve seen a lot of people saying that Core Medal Resurrection is similar to Faiz’ Paradise Lost, that it's just like any other V-cine and that it shouldn’t be taken that seriously, etc, etc...

But like- I wish this was any other V-cine. I wish. But it’s NOT. It’s supposed to be OOO’s 10th anniversary celebratory movie. They saw how much fans wanted a 10th year special, they managed to bring the whole cast back together one last time, they advertised it as the long awaited reunion... And they gave us whatever that was.

One of the things that bothered me the most in the movie was the reason Eiji died in the first place. His entire arc in the series was about learning to rely on others, to not take everything upon himself. Yes, Eiji saved that little girl (that looked exactly the same days or even weeks after Eiji saved her life), that’s nice, and it almost looks like some progress was made from the series prologue. But in my opinion it seemed like his condition was presented not as something absolute, but as a problem to solve if they wanted to get rid of Gouda.

Compared to Ankh’s death in the series, Eiji’s death came across as a tragedy for the sake of tragedy to me, you know? The default lazy writers turn to when they don’t know how to write a satisfying ending. With Ankh’s death we had the entire series to understand what life meant to him, how much he wanted to live and how, through his connections and friendships, he found satisfaction in dying as someone rather than disappearing as something. Eiji died how he wished he had at the beginning of the series, by being able to protect a kid at the cost of his own life. It is a regression to his character development.

Eiji’s desire for power to protect was also dealt with in the series and, get that, during the episodes written by the same guy that wrote the movie! It’s not like he didn’t know. In fact, the death scene is very similar to Eiji in Ankh’s arms back in episode 34.

The concept of role reversal (or parallels, whatever you wanna call it) is interesting, don’t get me wrong, but when you throw 48 episodes of character development out the window, it’s bad writing.

One thing that I loved about this movie was the acting. Watanabe, Miura and Takada were absolutely amazing and I was moved to tears by their acting, not by the plot or whatever that was happening. Which just adds to the frustration! This movie was a waste of their talent! Not to mention... It pains me that some of the returning cast was there just to show face.

Tajador Eternity is gorgeous! The name is just ironic though. And they didn’t even bother to rewrite a few lines to make a new version of Time Judged All so... Yeah =/

I’m not gonna go into detail about the fighting choreography or how easily the villains were handled. I’m indifferent to these aspects, actually.

Now. I’ve seen people saying this movie was not actually a canon continuation of the series, that it’s just an alternative universe vision from a writer on how things could go, like with Faiz’ Paradise Lost. And no, it’s not. It’s a direct continuation, if all the flashbacks were not enough indication.

Paradise Lost is one of my favorite KR movies, ever. It has some issues, but overall it was a consistent movie with a coherent plot, beautiful makeup, amazing fighting choreography, and it utilizes the cast really well! And it was released during the run of the series. Did it spoil some plot points? Maybe. But the fans didn’t have to wait a decade to see it happen.

People are comparing Core Medal Resurrection with the Vulcan V-cine or something. I dropped Zero-One and I never watched their V-cines, but, again, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t released a decade after the ending of the series.

TLDR:

Overall, I didn’t like the movie. And I couldn’t be more glad I didn’t have to wait more than 10 years to watch this bs like some fans did.

#I'll be forever salty about this #so much wasted potential #let's not touch chase's revival ok toei? #please #kamen rider ooo #spoilers #please don't mind me

[yostresswritinggirl]

Antinomy

Part 1; establishing grounds. VIBE

"Do you know the spiritual meaning of 11? What about in numerology? You'll find it quite intriguing, funny even... until it starts making sense." You've witnessed and harnessed the way and days he had grown to be; this fic enumerates the trials of the 11th before he became a Harbinger under your care. From strangers to mentor to friends to love- Childe made a grave mistake, now you’re once again strangers.

Pairing -> Childe x Harbinger!Fem!Reader

Word Count -> 3277

Themes -> Friends to admirers, slow burn, mentor, fluffy, suddenly ANGST

Series -> #Sojourner Specials (600 Followers Event) Part 2

Warning -> Blood and injury, decent? amount

The biblical meaning of number 11 comes from one's understanding that it is associated with things that would be considered imperfect, a disorganization of systems, and the disorder or chaos of things. The 11 carries a vibrational frequency of balance. It represents male and female equality. It contains both sun energy and moon energy simultaneously yet holding them both in perspective separate-ness. Perfect balance.

act i. first sighting

The first you've heard and the first you've seen the likes of him was long before you were anyone important in the organizational structure of the Fatui. You were a simple agent making rounds around Snezhnaya's city borders, nothing more, nothing less.

During these parts by the winter forest of Morepesok where time seems slowed down as the snowflakes flutter without urgency, it reminds you of what home feels like, and you felt more free to delve into a sense of relaxation away from other chatters from your co-workers.

You were ready to lean on a tree and just dissociate from the world of stress you had put yourself into— and then you heard a distant cry, accompanied by the pants and howls of wolves. Your body immediately lunged forward, finding your ankles sinking deep into snow as you trudged through the terrain as fast as you can. A child, a literal child somewhere in the forest getting chased by wolves.

When you've arrived by the scene, you registered a tuff of orange hair almost topple you over as they smack into your body, a startled cry eliciting from them as you throw him behind you in quick succession, your polearm manifesting to throw off the wolves that had locked in on the sight of him, "Go! Get out of here!" You urged at the sound of his silence as you carefully swung the first hit on the lunging wolf, being a tad too late to hit it with the edge's blade only for it to be knocked to the side by the shaft. At the sight of the battle you finally relieved a sigh when you heard him and hope that he knows his way back. But your work was not cut yet, you thought as you realized how the pack of four now encircles you with hungry gazes and drooling jaws.

The moments after that was filled with song and dance as you fought hard to overcome the might of four ferocious beasts, the polearm swiftly twirling in your arms to counter attacks from all sides. You twist your arm behind, lodging the tip of your spear in the throat of the wolf before delivering a kick to the head of another one lunging from the front. You made quick work to disengage your spear from the dead wolf, but the two idle wolves had noticed this as they lunged in coordination.

Now bloodied and bruised, exhausted from fatigue and frostbite, your final wolf to slaughter was inches away from your face. Its jaw had locked around your weapon in muffled growls and you can only keep him there with your arms losing its strength. Your blood sprayed around the battlefield of once white snow as the third wolf's sharp canines had lodged itself around your leg before you killed it through a stab.

You humored yourself with a wry laugh at the thought that it would leave a pretty nasty scar. The amount of blood you lost is already taking its toll at your consciousness and the last thing you saw before you finally succumbed to oncoming death was the wolf's awaiting maw, and a prickle of ice.

You only wish then that the kid you saved, only a few years younger than you, had left the forest in safety.

act ii. second assignment

Zapolyarny Palace was a magnificent architecture that towered all other manmade structures in the nation of the Cryo Archon. Now you, the most recent addition to the Harbingers roams these hallways regularly with agents following your trail. Lady Columbina, the 10th Fatui Harbinger, wields a peculiar job within the ranks of the organization.

It was years after the incident in Morepesok on which you came out with a nasty scar on your leg, but a proud Cryo Vision stuck to the side of your torso. When you donned it after the Tsaritsa had called for your presence (she must have sensed the bestowal of the elements) and reported your rounds during that mission, the Cryo Archon's piercing gaze had softened in intensities that washed over your whole soul with the warmth you would not expect of her element. Ever since then she had regarded you with attention to spare, your potential and line of work exposed, and had you easily rising up the ranks at the guidance of the 9th. Despite the gruesome and painful trials you had to go through before you can proudly walk on your own.

The informant by your side had handed you a thick folder earlier and you had been pacing around the hallways the whole time you had been investigating the contents. Said agent feebly and awkwardly following you as if expecting you'd walk away or disregard him for his absence. It was stupid from a bystander's perspective, but you were too focused on work to worry about it.

Well, focused, because you were interrupted by the sounds of clashing and sparring by the quadrangle within the Palace. You stopped your pacing and look up to see a batch of agents training with a few skirmishers in routine. A majority of them easily getting body slammed to the dirt floor in martial combat, and some are working on weaponry. But at the very middle is where your eyes linger with a flash of familiarity—

A tussle of orange hair unhidden by the Fatui hood clashes with a giant of a man, weapons and Vision drawn at the sparring. The agent moves with quick succession, and you can see Pulcinella getting overpowered pretty quickly. As expected of his form, of course, but he still bit back with his delusion now equipped. Cheater, you scoffed to yourself, as the orange-head agent still managed his footing to strike consecutively at the bigger man.

You watched on for a little while longer as the orchestration of the match continued. Your observant eyes clearly noticing how the Harbinger could barely leave the area he had been standing on as he was barraged by blades from every direction, fully defensive. The match ended indefinitely when the Harbinger had noticed you, and quickly ended the match as an escape to his obvious downfall. "Halt," his voice reverberated from the sheer authority it brought and the agent stopped only a few centimeters from slicing the gloved hand in front of him, "We have a guest."

"Hardly," you scoffed at the end of your temporary entertainment as you sauntered over to the edge of the veranda, waving your hand dismissively at the training agents that had kneeled to greet you. With this they all went back to their training away from your side to give the privacy of a talk, except for one person. You can feel his intense stare even if it was hidden behind the standard protocol Fatui mask. You wondered if he had recognized you, "Pulcinella." You nodded.

"Columbina, it has been a while," he made a move to swipe the sweat at his forehead and you murmured an affirmation at his statement. It HAS been a while since you had lingered in the Palace, much less the country. As the head of the information brokers department of the Fatui, you're frequently found in missions beyond the headquarters where you soldier your subordinates in field missions. At this thought, you felt conscious at the fact that you still had your dancer outfit on.

To avert your embarrassment you shifted your attention to the agent with a tilt of your head. You swore you saw him gulp as subtly as he can. "This is Ajax," at the mention of his name, he had bowed his head, hand across his chest in greeting. "He has the potential."

Your mouth formed into an 'o' at the mention of the special word, eyes slightly widening at the intonation as you continued to look at Ajax. When he raised his head to meet yours once again, you found yourself averting in newfound fluster. "You mean to tell me..."

"Yes," the way you gingerly placed a hand to quietly hide the redness of your cheek had Ajax amused, the edge of his mask hiding the slight quirk of his lips. "The Assembly ceremony would be called upon soon."

act iii. 3 pm assembly

The 3 PM Assembly comes before the Dusk Convention which is not the current point of the information. You've only been in it once and it was in a different circumstance, yet your nerves still stayed the same, if not more perfectly hidden than the first occasion.

Ajax, now dubbed Tartaglia alias Childe, stood kneeling by the steps of Your Majesty's throne at the information of his ascension to the ranks of the Harbingers. He was the final piece to the puzzle, and his addition to the ranks meant multiple things. The start of the war against the divine, the Tsaritsa worded after Childe has received his Delusion from Pedrelino.

He almost seemed starstrucked- dazed after the chance meeting of finally seeing the great Tsaritsa face to face. You gulped as the words of the first continues upon mention of his new arc of training in honing his skills and exposure to the ways of the Harbingers. Next to you, in silent and slight comfort, Innamorata simply touched elbows with yours without sparing a glance as she stared straight on. You smiled at the gesture.

"During the phase of your training, you shall be commandered by the Harbinger that had come before you. And she will be your last test to show that you had earned your ascension," Childe followed the trail of Pedrelino's sight as he spun to watch the end of the line up of the Harbingers.

A figure layered with multiple chiffon and flowy cloths and yet seemingly underdressed in the winter nation steps on the red carpet of the throne room, a spear polearm manifesting as she twirls her hand to catch it mid-integration, the action suddenly producing a blast of icy wind enough to reach him and make him stumble.

Childe felt the tingle of excitement twitch his fingers at the apparent power difference. When they both finally made eye contact, masks off and irises laid bare, a petrifying glint of amusement lies within them both. The female offers a toothy grin as she lodges the spear's point into the ground, the metal clanging through the room in piercing reverbs.

"Meet Columbina, the 11th Harbinger, your last mentor."

act iv. counting crows

It had been a while, a very long while, since you had gone stationary in a nation. Much less Snezhnaya. While it is home the removal of your olden routine to put yourself in the shoes of a mentor had really been maddening you, more so with the inclusion of your line of work still in operation and a certain someone as your trainee until who knows how long.

Your brows furrowed as you watch the annoying caws of the crows overhead, four of the black birds making symphony as if to rejoice over your repeated victory. Underneath your thin shoe laid a gasping Childe who was just as irked at the piercing interaction.

You had just finished a 'spar' or what you could call an opportunity of ascension. When you explained to the newest addition as to how his true ascension works (which involves beating your mentor in a fair fight) he had been nothing but a thorn on your side with his repeated requests to spar. He was really, really adamant for a fight, something you had come to realize a day after he ascended to your care.

"Shoot them down," you ordered as the man finally got his grips enough to stand once again, his outfit filled with marks of dirt and obvious footprints from your numerous kicks to make him stay back. At the order he shoots you an amused grin, as if to say 'really?' but succumbed when you continued eye contact.

"Master Columbina," Childe started as his bow and arrow materialized. You knew full well just how inefficient he is when it comes to bows compared to other weapons, and you tasked him such challenge to use it more under your supervision, topping his oath to master it already. "Do you know what four crows mean? I'm not really adept with crowology but I'm pretty sure they have significance in numbers."

The first shot fires and kills one. The action had startled the other birds and they scrambled to flap away, but Childe was already materializing three new arrows to fire at once, this quirked your eyebrows in amusement. Something he noticed and smirked at, eyes still focused as he fires his shots- one missed. "Four crows may mean many things," you watched as he desperately chased the crow with a barrage of arrows and you had to stop yourself from laughing at his failed attempts, "It could mean birth of a male newborn, highly unlikely. Aaand, wealth and prosperity, and finally..."

His arrow finally pierced the poor vertebrate, an emphasized sigh of relief escaping his lips as he whips his head to look at you for affirmation that you had seen his victory. You gave an amused yet soft smile, his eyes twinkled in double-layered delight, "New beginnings."

act v. his siblings

Childe had a mentor once, who fuelled the flame of his reckless spirit through countless beatings and repeated dangerous encounters. When he was given an opportunity of once again being under an official mentor, with his newfound lust for battle, he was extremely ecstatic over the idea. But unfortunately, as he walks around with you through the familiar streets of Snezhnaya, it was not all fun and games as he'd expected it to be.

"You look so disappointed for someone who just received one million mora under their name." Appropriate to the occasion, you don now a traditional Snezhnayan winter attire yet with details that alerts everyone of the price of the genuine fur that's stitched on the edges of the lining. It was over the top since you had developed an immunity.

"I didn't expect being mentored to be a killing machine requires knowing about taxation and interest rates," was his childish grumble. Which received a frosty laugh from you. You had reiterated again and again just how powerful money is to a nation just as information, which Pedrelino and you operate in order. Thankfully Childe was ever so smart to pick things up easily (if it was viewed as a challenge) despite his early recruitment into the Fatui that surely would have hindered his education.

You opened your mouth to reiterate over the fact that perhaps his main concern would be in the issue of debt collection when a scream had resounded through the crowd, one of which belongs to someone Childe would recognize, you thought as you observed how he had perked up and looked around. When his eyes settled on a direction, you suddenly realized a crowd of five coming your way, you immediately took a step away as three younger figures latched onto him and started chatting him up like there's no tomorrow.

You hummed to yourself as you watched with hands intertwined behind your back. From what you can hear and gather, they were his siblings, all five crowds with one probably missing. One seemingly older to the 11th yet not donning the same striking orange hair spots you and offers a sorry smile at the inconvenience, observant, you thought as you flashed a polite smile too. He's probably Andrei, the one who's the same age as you, if you remembered his oversharing correctly.

"Big brother, please join us! We haven't seen you for so long, we're preparing a huge feast for mother and father's anniversary, it would be really good if you can attend!" Wow, these children are really good at bargaining. You can already see Childe's resolve crumbling the more they fluttered their eyelashes with such doe eyes.

Whether a plea for help or look for approval, his ocean orbs had found his way to you, begging that you be at least a considerate Harbinger to offer him this once in a lifetime break. You were about to open your mouth (to let him be, of course, you're not the heartless Harbinger everyone had generalized the ranks to be) when suddenly all six pair of eyes had fallen on you. It wasn't the same tantalizing or spine-wracking gaze the Tsaritsa holds, but the attention made you gulp either way.

"Hi," your voice reached a sudden meekness neither you nor Childe expected nor heard before.

And suddenly you found yourself around a table with plentiful dishes scattered all over it, your crowd of five (seven if you count you two) had turned to a staggering, solid 10 as the whole family had forced invited you into their abode to share the meal. Thanks to the nature of your work and training, your social skills commandered any suspicions or questions off easily, and you behaved just like a girlfriend meeting her boyfriend's family for the first time.

Childe watched as you clenched your jaw and offered a hooded, tilted glare when you met eyes. He gulped. That look looked very much like Scaramouche.

act vi. sixth nation

Childe barely knew the world beyond the frosted wasteland, past the outskirts of Snezhnaya. Yet from the stories his father had adopted to him ever since he was able to remember, he views the world outside with a sense of familiarity, longing and relieving satisfaction. It was such a pure look you felt like barfing from the intensity of the innocent aura it held in comparison to your line of work.

His eyes would then land on you where you once again don your master dancer outfit, yet unlike your homeland, this setting matched it better. The sun at Fontaine hits the golden sequins at a certain angle to make it glitter, and the thin white veil that hovers over the back of your hair flutters gently in the soft breeze that comes by. You'd look angelic if you wore more white, he bites back the words when you met his eyes.

His first look at your line of work and his first visitation outside of the nation. And into the land of entertainment. This was your main land of operation and the way you dwelled with the citizens brings about a sense of replicated home at the nostalgia. Many recognized you as a simple entertainer and many of the citizens look upon Childe with intrigue and wonder.

"Based on my network, this would be his last stop," you adjusted the bangles that holds on to the thin cloth that runs over your arm, "Again, we are here to observe and get information, not look for a fight."

"Yes, master." He grumbled flatly but his eyes were wide and wandering the marble walls and statues that littered the nation. He's distracted, just like a true child. "What's the name of that rogue vigilante again? The one that keeps busting down the doors of the Fatui headquarters everywhere."

You hum, hand wrapped around his wrist as you guide his distracted self through the crowd.

"Diluc Ragnvindr, and try to remember it this time please."

To be continued.

Accidentally posted so now it's a freakin two parter.

@zelos-simp @legionqueensav @moaa @dandelion-dreams @snackgod @rxsalinee

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #childe x Reader #genshin impact oneshots #exile.flower #sojourner special #followers special #diluc was here #god i hate myself #why did i accidentally post this #female reader

[troquantary]

Didyme, Part 2: Something, Something, Plato's Allegory of the Cave

Continuing from here, and we’re doing sub-parts for this bit. I’m genuinely surprised I had this much to say. (And fun fact, I almost lost the entire goddamn post, but fortunately I was copy-pasting into Word just in case. Not today, Satan.)

2.1. What Canon Tells Us

Didyme’s murder by Aro (and with Caius’ apparent assistance, either during or afterwards), is only mentioned on the page in Life and Death, the 10th Anniversary gender-swapped version of Twilight. Edythe/Edward mentions it briefly when discussing the painting of the leaders Carine/Carlisle brought back from Volterra, but it’s just background information with little narrative weight. I bring it up just to highlight Caius’ involvement and knowledge -- I’ll get back to that.

Now, here’s the “canon” backstory we have to work with. Per the illustrated guide, Didyme was Aro’s younger sister, and he turned her at some point after meeting Marcus, Caius, and Athenadora. Interestingly, the Guide doesn’t say anything about Aro returning to Didyme out of brotherly love; apparently he just wanted to see if she would have a powerful gift like his, only to be underwhelmed (”disappointed,” according to his Guide entry) by her actual ability -- she made people happy just by being around them. Then she and Marcus fell in love, sharing “the strongest romantic bond of any of the Volturi” (from Marcus’ Guide entry), and this prompted a suddenly very single Aro to seek out his own mate, Sulpicia. The Guide says Didyme “distracted” Marcus from Aro’s goals, and that the pair eventually made plans to split off on their own, leading Aro to murder Didyme so he could hold onto Marcus and his valuable gift. Although nothing written so far suggests that Aro even liked his sister, the Guide does state that Aro “truly loved her” and that his grief upon killing Didyme was genuine.

Apparently Caius’ role in all is was something Meyer thought up later, because none of the leaders’ Guide entries mention him being in on it. (You can’t see me, but I’m staring pointedly at Part One.)

2.2. Fuck Canon, Actually

(This just seemed like the funniest place for a cut. Continued below~)

I’ll be honest with you, person who’s persistent/unfortunate enough to still be here: very little about this murder scenario makes sense to me. I’m going to start with the “disappointing” nature of Didyme’s gift and that it was supposedly much less useful to Aro than Marcus’, because that’s just...stupid, frankly, and there’s no way Aro would have missed the inherent utility of Didyme’s gift. I don’t even have to read into anything to get this idea -- the Guide itself shows us how useful it is! It says right there in Marcus’ entry that Aro went off to turn Didyme, and returned with his sister, “along with the first members of the guard -- vampires who were drawn to Didyme’s aura of happiness.” That is a direct quote.

Just -- I practically shrieked when I read that. You’re telling me that Didyme’s gift was the stated reason their coven got its first subordinates, and I’m supposed to believe that Aro thought that was disappointing? Fuck off! Fuck off!! Even if Didyme’s happiness aura isn’t as powerful as Corin’s opium haze, well, Aro doesn’t have Corin yet, does he? He has every reason in the world to want to keep Didyme around, drawing other vampires to his cause -- even if most of those vampires aren’t gifted or skilled enough to join the guard, it’s still good PR.

At this early stage in the Volturi’s rise to power, it isn’t a good time to lose Didyme -- or any of his inner coven, really. Yet Aro apparently considered her disposable enough that he killed her. I can’t square this with what we know about Aro: that he’s still coherent despite holding god-knows how many people’s lives in his head; that he’s very intelligent; that he’s cunning, charming, and persuasive. Aro, once he learned they were thinking about leaving, would have tried to talk to Didyme and Marcus and done everything in his power to convince them to stay just a bit longer, until the Volturi’s position was more secure. And maybe he did; the timeline of all this is hazy, but nothing in the Guide suggests that Aro jumped straight to duplicity and murder. Clearly, though, whatever negotiations or arguments he presented failed. So what does their desire to leave the Volturi at this critical stage say about Didyme, or Marcus for that matter?

2.3. What It Says About Didyme and Marcus (Mostly Headcanon)

Brace yourself, because we’re into full headcanon territory now. To follow me, please refer to @therealvinelle ‘s meta about the larger mission of the Volturi and why they’re necessary, because I’m starting from the perspective that the Volturi are ultimately a force working in vampires’ and humans’ favor. While Meyer and the Guide would have you believe that Aro’s just power-hungry, actually looking at the impact of the Volturi and the benefits of enforcing secrecy shows that his broader vision isn’t just world domination, but establishing a world in which vampires and humans can both thrive and endure. There’s no way the rest of the inner coven was unaware of this goal; we know Aro talks a lot, so he’s certainly talked his coven’s ears off about this.

Now, we know very little about Marcus and what he was like before he was all dead inside. Based on what would be a logical balance of personalities, with Aro as lead decision-maker and Caius as ruthless enforcer, it seems likely that Marcus was originally the voice of reason and/or mercy. I also think Marcus would have had a strong sense of duty. The Guide says that Aro was the first friend Marcus had as a vampire, and I believe that Marcus cared about him very much and was committed to the Volturi. I think he would have been genuinely conflicted about leaving, especially considering the stabler, safer world the Volturi have been striving to build, and which they haven’t yet secured. Again, it’s a very bad time for any of the leadership to split off -- but in the end, Marcus and Didyme are going to do it anyway.

What for, though? Why leave? @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin has an interesting take on that question here: that Didyme saw that she and Marcus would be locked into the Volturi life and a thankless existence for eternity and tried to opt out while she still could. I like it a lot, it’s a great post and that scenario makes sense, but the tone of it feels...too forgiving. Maybe that’s because I’m evil. But the way I see it, given the magnitude of the Volturi’s mission, and its (at best) very tenuous grip on power at the time Marcus and Didyme plan to leave (they haven’t even defeated the Romanians yet), jeopardizing the entire operation so that they can pursue their romance unburdened strikes me as...well, fundamentally selfish on some level, so much that I find myself side-eyeing Didyme and Marcus for it. Although to be clear, it’s not the desire to live their own lives apart from the Volturi that I find selfish, just the timing of their departure.

Honestly, I’d like not to vilify another female character if I don’t have to. Given everything I’ve just said, I see Didyme in much the same way as I see Bella: not a bad person, but someone with definite selfish tendencies. At best, she’s likely short-sighted or naive if she doesn’t see how leaving the Volturi at this stage is fucking them over in a big way. However, I hesitate to read into the happiness aura as a straightforward indication of Didyme’s fundamental goodness; I think she probably was kind, charming, and delightful to be around, hence the nature of her gift -- but that capacity for selfishness is still there. (I’m certain Meyer wants us to take her gift as proof of Didyme’s goodness, to reinforce how evil Aro is for killing her...but I think I’ve made my disdain for what Meyer wants me to think pretty clear.)

2.4. MURDER MOST FOUL

I am not saying it was justifiable or okay for Aro to murder his sister. I’m really not. It’s actually better, from a character standpoint, that it isn’t okay -- that Aro has to carry this with him for the rest of his life while Marcus sits in the throne next to him, reduced to a husk, so that in effect Aro has lost them both after all. It’s got that Greek tragedy element @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin​ mentioned in her post. (Even better from that standpoint, the Guide implies that Aro found Chelsea relatively soon after killing Didyme, which compounds the tragedy.) I mean, it’s terrible, and it hurts me because I love Aro, but it’s compelling stuff.

What I am saying is, I can see how their insistence on leaving might have deeply hurt and offended him. And that brings me to my issue with the calculated murder scenario the Guide gives us -- I still think Didyme’s gift is too valuable for Aro to throw away by killing her in cold...venom (or whatever), even as the price for keeping Marcus in the fold. Plus, there’s the fact that Aro does love Didyme, and I imagine her gift makes it very difficult for people to think of harming her...when they’re calm, anyway.

Yeah, the only way I can really see the murder happening is if Aro killed Didyme in the heat of an argument about her leaving, possibly even by accident -- except you can’t accidentally kill a vampire, can you? It’s a very deliberate process wherein you have to dismember them and burn every piece, which also means it probably takes long enough that any irrational, overwhelming rage would wear off before you were done. But now that you’ve started....

I mean, at that point it would certainly be awkward to put your half-rubble sister back together, and Aro would be in a whole other load of shit even if he did. It’s possible, given what we’re told, that Aro could have lashed out and yanked Didyme’s head off before snapping out of it, only to realize that his sole option now is to finish the job. If he doesn’t kill Didyme now, she and Marcus won’t just leave, they’ll be sworn enemies of Aro from then on. And thanks to Didyme’s gift being the draw for a lot of the guard, and the inherently bad look of a leader who would brutally attack his own sister, a chunk of the guard would probably leave with them, destroying Aro’s plans. No, the only way to salvage it is to follow through.

Then Aro has to call in Caius for help with the cover-up, because it wasn’t actually planned and it’s just pure luck that no one walked in on the murder as it was happening.

And maybe Aro learns a hard lesson about learning to let people walk away, leaving the possibility open that they could be drawn in again. Because if Aro had just waited, he would have found Chelsea, and with her gift he could have had Marcus and Didyme back again.

Assuming everything didn’t fall apart as soon as they left, of course. But that’s a whole other what-if scenario.

#and those are my thoughts on didyme #...mostly #but i need a break now #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #didyme volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #sources cited: #therealvinelle #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin #i'm going to go lie down

[eldritchqueerture]

Point of View - Original Statement Fic

Point of View (5004 words) by LadyNikita Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Original Statement Giver(s) (The Magnus Archives) Additional Tags: Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), Original Statement (The Magnus Archives), this was intended as the eye but evolved into the vast as well, happens, cosmic horror, attempt at Eldritch Madness, unreality, Discussions of pointlessness and meaninglessness, Canon-Typical The Vast Content (The Magnus Archives), from the eps about space, Mentions of Death, Compulsion, discussions of free will (kind of), Dissociation, Panic, Mentions of addiction, Leitner Book (The Magnus Archives), except it was not possessed by Leitner, Pretty Colours <3, Neurodivergent Protagonist, Queer Protagonist, because I can project a bit as a treat, Can Be Read Without Prior Knowledge of the Podcast (I think)

Summary: "Humans crave understanding. They strive towards knowing more and more, that’s what all science is about, isn’t it? To study, to learn and understand; to seek answers to questions. But are we really equipped to handle the answers we seek? Even if we were able to reach them, are our minds advanced enough to grasp the truths about the world we live in? What if there are things just beyond our understanding, lurking in the shadows of reality, peeking into our world just enough to feed on us, on our uncertainty and our pathetic scrambling towards answers that would only bring madness?" --- Statement of Lyria Ellison regarding a different point of view and the dangers of knowledge.

Notes: Hiiiiii <3 I've been reading Lovecraft recently and as much as I hate the dude, The Colour Out of Space gave me so much inspiration that I immediately sat down and produced this in one sitting. I've been meaning to play with the concept of eldritch madness for a while; something about this trope is really appealing to me and I'm really enjoying my attempts at shaping it with words. Lyria is a preexisting OC of mine, I will give some background on her in the end notes because I love her very much. This is a form of practice for me; I'm playing with horror themes and I'd like to get acquainted with them to better incorporate them into my overall writing. Therefore I will accept constructive criticism if anyone wants to give it, but only in the form of DMs, either on Tumblr (your-queer-vampire-dm) or on Discord, if we know each other through a server. All of the warnings I think should be mentioned are in the tags, but if you think something should be added then please tell me!

Date: May 10th , 2018

Name: Lyria Ellison

Subject of experience: A different point of view and the dangers of knowledge.

—

How do you start telling a story that changed your heart, your mind, and your soul so profoundly that you can barely still function in a society? How do you say all that without sounding borderline insane? Nobody knows what I’ve seen, what I’ve been through. I know they would all say I’ve hallucinated it all and should seek treatment. But I know it won’t help. I know… I know so much now. Too much and not enough. Never enough. I know what happened was real . I don’t have proof so I’m guessing you won’t believe me either, but I need to tell someone about it. So I might as well tell you.

My name is Lyria Ellison and I’m a neuropsychology major. Ex-major, I should say. I dropped out after… Yeah. I dropped out; there’s not much point in continuing studying things about the feeble, insignificant human brain. Utterly pointless venture.

Humans crave understanding. They strive towards knowing more and more, that’s what all science is about, isn’t it? To study, to learn and understand; to seek answers to questions. But are we really equipped to handle the answers we seek? Even if we were able to reach them, are our minds advanced enough to grasp the truths about the world we live in? What if there are things just beyond our understanding, lurking in the shadows of reality, peeking into our world just enough to feed on us, on our uncertainty and our pathetic scrambling towards answers that would only bring madness?

Just a year ago, I was convinced I was going to finish my degree. I was so passionate about it too, eager to learn more and more, to research and seek knowledge. Curious and fascinated by the world around us. What a foolish thing it was to give into that drive. My mind was open to the supernatural, although I always approached it scientifically; I never said the supernatural existed, but I also never said it didn’t. It was plausible; all in all, every scientist must accept that there is still a vast amount of knowledge we don’t have about the world.

The ignorance was a blessing. But I shall not get ahead of myself.

It started around December last year; my dad had died, and my girlfriend, Shawala, and I were clearing out his house. There wasn’t really anyone else to do it; my mother had passed a couple years prior, I had no siblings, and extended family was out of the picture as well; and my dad had gathered a lot of things in his adventurous life; he was a traveller, and he loved the world, loved learning about it, just like me. I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with it all; my dad meant a lot to me back then, and Shawala proved an excellent support at that first shock. She promised to do some first view assessments of the ground floor, while I went to scope out how things looked in the attic.

It’s always either basements or attics, isn’t it? I used to read horror, Lovecraftian was my favourite – how ironic, isn’t it? How stupid . How utterly ignorant. The hubris of the human race at its finest.

Anyways, the attic was half-lit from the small windows in the roof, and dust was swirling in the faint light of the afternoon sun. It was cold here, but I didn’t pay much mind; the house was old, and it wasn’t surprising that there was draft. To say the space was cluttered would be an understatement; I could barely walk around the numerous boxes, old furniture, crates, and overflowing bookshelves; all of which made something in my chest curl tight, bringing tears to my eyes. I steered my steps towards the nearest bookshelf; I’ve always been a bookworm, fascinated by nearly any tome I came across; I’ve been reading popular science books since I was eight. So naturally, I was drawn to the books, taking huge steps above the cardboard boxes and careful not to hit anything else.

The books were old, of course, and dusty. Some of them had loose pages, and I treated them very gently, almost reverently. I have a little bit of a bookbinder streak, and I decided I would take them home and try to put them back together. As I rifled through them, I saw they pertained to a vast variety of subjects, from poetry, drama, and history, to science, metaphysics, and maths. The deeper I looked into this stunning collection, the more reverence rose in my heart; at my fingertips I had the oldest and the biggest accumulation of knowledge I had ever seen. I saw some books dated back even two hundred years ago.

At that point Shawala called me to check if I was alright. I put the book I had in my hands back and my knuckles brushed against the black leather cover of the next one on the shelf. I felt pleasant tingling in my palm at the touch and my heart leaped at the prospect; I didn’t know why –  the book seemed ordinary enough on the shelf and there was no title on its spine.

I sometimes wonder if I could have just left it there and gone downstairs; chosen to come back later and then maybe, it wouldn’t have enticed me as it did. If, by that point, I had had any choice left on the matter.

Alas, intrigued by the book, I placed my palm on the spine and took it out. The leather was soft and smooth, probably sheep, with familiar subtle grains all over the texture. I remember it striked me as odd that it was warmer than the rest of the books in the drafty attic, but I shrugged it off. The front cover had a title, small but visible in the centre, etched in gold – Punctum Visus .

I, by all means, cannot read or speak Latin, but I figured it was something to do with vision. I opened the book, an unknown anticipation buzzing in my stomach. The pages were worn and old, their texture was slightly rough but pleasant under my fingertips; as I opened the front page, I saw the title again, this time in thick but still elegant, black letters, and the smell came up to my nostrils.

I tried to describe it in my head countless times after. I always loved the smell of old books, and I knew it very well, so it came to me as a surprise to realize it wasn’t the only smell I could feel from the book. It was… cold, somehow, distant but prickling at my nose, a little bit the way peppermint tastes. It reminded me of the night sky and distant stars somehow. The smell awakened an unease within me, as I couldn’t quite place what it was and why it seemed so weird , but it wasn’t by any means unpleasant. It was… enticing. Like a promise of a mystery.

I breathed it in again through my nose, closing my eyes, and for a moment I lost all feeling in my body. I was untethered and immaterial, somewhere in deep darkness that seemed to envelop me whole. It felt cold on my mind, stretching it thoughtlessly in the empty vastness, and I saw distant flickering lights of stars. Before I could form a coherent thought, I was back in myself, panting and shaking, staring at the front page of the Punctum Visus . I looked around with shaky breaths; the attic looked the same, and Shawala’s steps on the stairs reached my ears, with her voice calling my name. A shiver passed down my spine, causing goosebumps to bloom on my skin; was it the draft, the dread, or the excitement I couldn’t tell.

I knew I had to read this book, no matter what it took for me to do so.

I took it home, almost forgetting about the rest of the books upstairs. It had spent the next month laying in my room, as I dealt with the formalities and moving the rest of things that weren’t sold from the house either to my place or to charity. After the day we left the house for the last time, I collapsed in my bed, exhausted, but instead of closing, my eyes fell on the book unassumingly waiting on my nightstand.

A surge of excitement passed through me, waking me right up. I sat up and reached for the book. It was still warm; I couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, but warm it was. I think it made me subconsciously assign it more… being? Like, even before I knew anything, I somehow subconsciously accepted that it was more than just an object; that it was, in a sense, alive on its own. I brushed my fingers on the cover, feeling the texture of the leather and the etching of the letters. In the meantime during this month I had checked the meaning of the title – Point of Sight; a position from which a thing is or is supposed to be viewed. It makes so much sense now.

But then I didn’t know what dangers it held; or I didn’t want to think about them. I do remember feeling anxious, my hands trembling every time I opened the cover, but it was so mingled with exhilaration of the certainty I was discovering something important that I must have disregarded it. As I turned the pages, I wasn’t surprised to find the text in Latin; though I still felt a pang of frustration that it meant I couldn’t read it for now. I rifled through the pages, looking curiously at the letters that formed words yet unattainable to me. There was a hunger inside of me; a hunger to Know. As I turned the pages past various symbols, illustrations of the constellations, and of Earth, I determined it must be some sort of a metaphysical work. The point of view on the world around us.

Normally I just skim through works like this and leave them. While they are an interesting read sometimes, they’re not my favourite genre and, looking objectively, putting in the effort of learning a whole language just for the sake of reading a treatise on the meaning of cosmos by an unknown author seems strange at best. But somehow it seemed obvious to me that I had to read it. It called to me, sang into a part of my being that begged to be filled, promising knowledge that would finally leave me satisfied. I know now that it’s impossible. Once you’ve tasted the hunger for knowing, you will never find satisfaction; it’s like an addiction. You just crave more and more, and the knowledge never ends. After a certain point you know too much and when it all connects, when it starts to make sense… you slip. I didn’t know that, even though maybe I should have. I didn’t know what those things I was feeling meant then and I didn’t stop to question them; I gave into it as soon as it touched me. I was stupid.

What followed were a busy couple of months. Every waking moment that wasn’t spent keeping up the pretence of being interested in my major (back then I only thought it a brief hyperfixation, of course, and wouldn’t have called it a pretence at all), I was learning Latin online or staring into the incomprehensible words on the pages. This period of my life is a blur; I remember my friends checking up on me if I was alright, since I wasn’t particularly social anymore. Shawala got progressively more worried, but it fully escaped my mind to care. I know that staring thoughtlessly at the book took up more and more of my time; once, I remember, I returned from my classes at three PM and took the book out; when I came back to myself it was well past midnight. That’s when I started to feel truly uneasy about it. It was the second half of April; I looked back on what I’ve been doing these past months and this cold dread started creeping up to my throat. I realized I didn’t know why I wanted to read the book so much and I remembered the “vision” or the hallucination I had that first time in my dad’s attic. I had set it aside completely as unimportant, and I couldn’t wrap my head around why. I started shaking and theorizing in my head about the book being able to influence my mind somehow, to control it. Had my actions not been my own? How much of it was my own will and how much was the book? Was it even possible for it to influence me like that; could it be that it was supernatural in some way?

The house became cold, unnaturally so. It was dark and all the windows were closed, but a chill draft managed to find its way into the corridor I was in anyway. I sank to the floor and hugged my knees, trembling in panic. I was all alone in the flat, everyone I knew was surely already asleep in their homes, and I was small and weak in the face of something that maybe could have controlled my mind. I suddenly became aware of the leatherbound book in my hand, and I threw it along the corridor at the front door with a whimper, as far away from me as possible. The book thumped against the door, then the floor, and opened on a random page.

I’ve read enough horrors. I knew that the page would be significant, and that knowledge made me sob and hug my knees tighter. I didn’t know what was happening; I felt like I’d just woken up from a months-long dream… and perhaps I was right. The recent past felt alien.

I felt tears sting my eyes and that’s when the smell reached me. Again that mixture of old paper and peppermint cold, distantly sweet but freezing the blood in my veins. My breath came in ragged and shallow, and tears streamed down my face as I stared at the open book that was calling me in an inaudible whisper. The logical side of my mind was trying desperately to make sense of it, to assign the dissociative feeling to my father’s death and yeah, it was plausible, but somehow it just didn’t feel right. The whispers sounded again, swirling around my head, the golden sound almost touching the back of my neck, making me wince. It was enticing and promising, but this time, I felt terror instead of excitement. Disregarding how my mind was trying to rationalize the situation, I knew the book was cursed somehow. I knew that I was its victim. And I knew that I would not be strong enough to resist it.

I don’t know how much time I sat there, trembling, and sobbing into my knees, before I calmed down from the panic and decided I had to do something. I had to find out what this book was and how it found itself into my dad’s library. I couldn’t remember seeing anything in his diaries that would mention it at all, but then again, I didn’t read them all cover to cover. On wobbly legs I carefully made my way back to my room and searched the Internet until the sun started peeking out of the window; I found nothing about any book titled Punctum Visus . I tried all the libraries that I’d known of, that had their assortment online, all the research databases; nothing.

So, at the crack of dawn, with a fast-beating heart, I stood in the door of my room, staring out into the corridor, where the book still lay by the front door, unmoving. The golden strings of a wordless melody made it to my ears; it promised an explanation; that this time if I looked close enough, I would find what I was looking for.

What was I looking for?

Where else could I find the answers if not in the book itself?

I could feel its cold fingers slowly wrap around my mind, steering me to come closer. It called me with a hypnotising voice that awakened all the red signals in my brain, telling me to run and hide, but I didn’t. The voice meant danger, but I knew it also meant knowledge.

Dangerous knowledge. The pull dragged me through the corridor step by step; I hadn’t been fighting it as strongly as I could have had and I was about to start, since I was getting closer to the book, but suddenly I felt the chill of the influence let go, hovering close but out of reach. It was still compelling me to come, to Look, but I could move my own limbs. I had a choice to make.

Knowledge of danger. Did I believe my own warning thoughts that I would regret looking into the book? Did I take my own logical, rational side seriously? Was I ever good at resisting my own impulses?

I’ve never been addicted to anything, but then again, I never really had the opportunity, as it were; my friends were more of a no-alcohol types and I really ever smoked cigarettes once. I’ve never seen drugs in real life. So who’s to say if I’m not an addictive personality? And this, this was addictive. The thrill of mystery, the exhilarating process of learning, the anticipation of the answers.

Was it ever really my choice?

No supernatural force guided my steps that night; no cold fingers made me kneel next to the book and carefully cradle it in my arms, looking at the page with a shaky breath and tears in my eyes, as if I was coming back home like the prodigal son. But I’m sure it was by some paranormal means that this time I could understand the text on the pages.

I honestly don’t remember what it said. As I read the unfamiliar words, the meaning presented itself in my mind, not entirely unlike that first “vision” I had in the attic; as soon as I started reading I knew that I had made the choice and there was no turning back. That cold draft enveloped me, sat on my skin, and started to bite; I felt that smell again, stronger than ever before, something intangible but unmistakably inhuman . It was then that I realized that’s what had felt wrong to me about the smell since the beginning. It was inferior and alien. My hands started shaking as my eyes, glued to the text, moved now on their own down the page, drinking the words in. I was terrified out of my mind, but the pleasant tingling along my nerves was back, the anticipation of the promised understanding.

My mind was drowned with the tide of knowledge. This was just a prologue; a true discovery would require preparation, but I was almost ready. The voice said I was chosen, that I was a perfect candidate to bring It what It needs and that I would be rewarded. I cried tears of amazement and horror at the sheer scope of the voice – it seemed to encompass the entire world. I couldn’t comprehend it, but I didn’t know then that it was a blessing. I wanted to know, I craved to know what It was and how I could be of use to something so powerful, so huge. Divine. That was a word that crossed my mind, as much as I don’t like that. I don’t like many things, but I can’t change any of them.

The voice said I’m on the right path. I would Know and Understand. First, I needed to do something. As It told me what that was, doubt started to creep up to my mind. What was I doing? What was happening? How could this be real?

I came to on the floor by my front door, the cursed book in hand, with a tear-stained face and a bloody nose.

I knew what I had to do to get ready and, as I calmed down and went over everything in my head, I was surprised by how trivial it was. Honestly, by this point I was kind of afraid It would tell me to hurt someone, so I was glad this was just about reading a bunch of words in a specific location at a specific time. I was aware of the fact that this was most probably a ritual, and I was quite apprehensive. I kept arguing with myself in my head, over and over whether I should follow through, but deep down I knew that I would, no matter what I told myself. This part, I think, scared me the most; how compelling the promise of knowledge was, how reverently I’d found myself thinking of the book and its owner (which I assumed was the voice), how fanatical some of my thoughts sounded. I’ve never been religious, never really felt idealistic either. I was always focused on facts, on the here and now. Can knowledge be an ideal? Can you be a fanatic of Seeing and Knowing?

How much had I changed since I’d found Punctum Visus in that old attic.

I found a good, quiet spot, on the north-west side of the New Forest National Park near Southampton. I told no one about this, deeming it unimportant. I would come back after my big discovery, I would explain everything. I laugh at myself now; at my naivety.

The night of April 28 th was clear, and the starry sky looked back at me as I parked my car on the road in the forest and locked it. I tied a piece of a long red string to the wheel, not to lose my way in the forest, and started to walk forward. I held the book close to my chest, as if it could protect me from the dark, eerie outlines of the trees, swaying gently on the wind and whatever the darkness around me held. I didn’t light the torch; the moon was nearly full, bathing everything in its gentle light, and besides, for some reason it seemed that the crude yellow light would somehow break the sanctity of what I was about to do. I could see the ground in front of me and managed to lose sight of my car and everything else besides trees pretty fast.

I stopped when I found a small clearing. The moon was high in the sky, shining down on me like a big eye; I didn’t know why this comparison seemed the most fitting, but it did. I took a deep breath, feeling a chill plant little dots all over my skin, making my hairs stand on end. The wind died down and the trees froze, as if in anticipation. I felt something watching me closely; I was not alone here anymore.

The realization made my breath catch in my throat and the last streaks of sanity broke through my thick skull. Run! Drop the book and run! I didn’t. My hands trembled, my muscles tensed, and I stood there, frozen with fear as something stared at me, seemingly for eternity. Something bigger than me, bigger than anything I have ever seen was watching me, waiting. My eyes dropped to the book in my arms. The black leather was warm, as always, but this time I felt a pulsating sensation from it. A heartbeat.

I screamed. The book landed discarded on the ground, and I stumbled backwards and tripped, landing in the grass as well. It was cold and wet, and it glistened with something in the faint moonlight. At first I took it for water, but upon closer inspection I saw it was the grass itself that glittered – a shy rainbow, glowing iridescently in an impossible way. I froze, stunned, for I have never seen such colours before. It seemed utterly alien, something unfitting for the human eye to see; simultaneously beautiful and horrifying.

As I looked around, I noticed that everything alive in the forest – the trees, the grass, the bushes, the plants – had taken on that iridescent mixture of faint light that prickled my eyes and sent a shiver of terror down my spine. It was beautiful, utterly gorgeous in a way that nothing a human eye can perceive could be. It was horrifying in how different, alien, and other it was. My senses could tell this is not of the Earth; not of this reality, not of this world; everything in me that still had common sense tried to recoil from the inferiority of this magnificence and the danger it brought, but I had abandoned common sense a while back. Maybe even when I touched the book for the first time. I stared then, breathless and trembling, at this scenery as if from a fairy tale and decided to lock away my rational thoughts. I wanted to See, to Know; I wanted to experience and if this was the death of me then hell, it was a pretty good way to go. To behold such a sight, I thought, was a reward in and of itself.

Of course, I had no idea what any of it meant. I slowly rose to my knees and patted the ground down until I felt the book. It still pulsated with this heartbeat and the letters etched in the leather glowed with golden light. My hands were sweaty, and I didn’t know whether I was shivering from fear or the cold. I opened the book on the first page.

What I saw was not what I had expected. I remembered that the first page, after the titular one, was the beginning of the introduction, that much I had understood, but now it was a big picture in black and white; a night sky, with an almost full moon and strewn with stars. It was a shot from the ground and treetops could be seen at the edges of the picture. As the book swayed in my hands, the stars glittered, and the perspective shifted ever so slightly, as if it was in 3D. Stricken by a surge of dread and cold certainty, I looked up. My suspicion was right – the picture in the book depicted the exact image that was now above me. I gasped quietly and looked down at the book—

And this is where things started to really go horribly, horribly wrong.

The book was gone. What’s more, the ground was gone too and suddenly everything was not where it should have been. I blinked but it did nothing to ease the dizziness; and when I composed myself enough to register what I was seeing I froze, the most intense horror I have ever experienced crushing my body from all sides and inside out.

I realized that I was Seeing. I was finally Seeing, and I Understood it all.

I don’t know how to convey in words what I saw. I don’t believe it’s possible; humans were never made to see and understand such things. I should have never touched the book, I should have never asked for knowledge. All my life I believed that knowledge was the point; it was a tool, and it was power. I don’t know what I think anymore. I think some knowledge should always be hidden because we were not made to know everything. We can’t , it’s physically impossible for us to comprehend.

For one moment in my life. For one moment I became something else, and I saw the world in the way It sees the world. For one moment I shared a mind with an eldritch being, a thing that is Fear itself, and I saw the Earth through Its Eye. I can’t… I can’t tell you just how horrible it is. How… How meaningless; we’re all intertwined things, guided by strings of web that lead us through life, and we’re all connected in this maze of fear . We’re not individuals; we’re not special. We don’t have souls and none of our experiences matter. We’re just fear. These… These entities are a part of all of us. They’re our fear and they live inside of us, inside of every living creature that can feel fear. Can you comprehend that? How can you be sure you are yourself when there’s a cosmic entity, a power as old as life itself, living you ? And no one has any idea. Nobody knows and if I tell someone they’ll think I’m crazy. Sometimes I think I’m crazy. But deep down I know what I saw. I know it was real. And I’m terrified. I’m terrified because I know that this Being of eyes that I became a part of watches everything I do. I feel Its presence here very strongly, and I guess it makes sense. It will never leave me. It’s a part of me, just like the rest of them; just like they’re all a part of every one of you, yet you have no idea. But I know. And I know I’m all alone with that knowledge, the knowledge that I can’t comprehend, but I know I could in that one moment. It’s a very lonely place to be and I’m scared.

I’m scared as I have never been before; this fear doesn’t leave me anymore. Every second of every day I’m aware I’m watched by something as great as cosmos. I’m aware I shared my mind with that being and it makes my skin crawl.

I don’t know what to do now, but I don’t expect any advice from you. I’m leaving the book with you, as proof. Its heart doesn’t beat anymore, and I’ve seen what I was supposed to.

Don’t read it.

Notes: If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving me a comment!! For people interested in a little bit of background: Lyria is a D&D character I have created that still awaits her chance to play in a campaign. She's an arcane scholar that has a dark little secret of actually being a warlock of a being she doesn't know a lot about. She's in love with knowledge and she seeks to learn about her powers as well as the world around her. I'm currently DMing a Ravenloft campaign and I just couldn't miss the fact how much potential for a corruption arc she has. Then I listened to TMA and I was like, she would definitely become the Avatar of the Beholding.

#i discovered you can copy tags straight from ao3 #ive been using that site for how many. 5 years now #:| #anyways #tma #the magnus archives #tma original statement #cosmic horror #niki.writes #lyria elerieth #goes in my oc tag because thats technically an au #im really happy with this one guys!

[super-secret-sick-fics]

hi! i loved your iwaoi fic so much!! if you’re still taking requests, i would love to see more iwaoi!! idc who’s sick but emeto is a yes :) no pressure and thank you! <33

Hi! I hope this is to your liking :)

I can’t promise that I’ll alway respond to requests this quickly or that they’ll always be 1000+ words. I’ve just been in the writing mood recently!!

Usually I hc Oikawa as super super overly-doting as a caretaker, but I think when it comes to Iwa’s migraines, he is so used to them (unfortunately) that he’s just like. “Okay this is what I gotta do.” If that makes sense?

Migraine: an IwaOi sick fic

Pair: sick Iwa, caretaker Oikawa

Word Count: 2,234

Warnings: vomit, swearing, slightly ooc Iwa

——————————————————————

Iwaizumi leaned against the wall of the elevator lethargically. He held the strap of his bag loosely as it leaned against his leg, suddenly too heavy to keep on across his shoulder. Why in the hell he and Oikawa chose to live on the 10th floor was beyond him. He was regretting the decision as each beep of the passing floors sent sharp, stabbing pains through his skull. The prospect of his bed called to him enticingly.

It had been a terrible day.

He woke up late and ran into someone on his way to class, spilling his coffee all over his notes. Then in each one of his classes, he found out that he did the homework for the next class instead of today’s, so when he was called on, he didn’t know any of the answers and each one of his teachers scolded him for not doing the readings.

During his lab, some dude passed out when they were practicing first aid assessment on a dummy who cut open his leg. (Apparently even fake blood was too much for the guy). Which wouldn’t bother Iwa usually, but when the kid fell, he knocked over the iodine and got it all over Iwa’s arm (which was now stained brown).

Then, during his clinicals, he was observing one of the trainers with rehab for a patient who only recently recovered from her shoulder surgery enough to start physical therapy. All he needed to do was watch so he could take notes on different types of treatment plans for shoulders. He was actually pretty relieved after such a rough day.

The universe was out to screw him apparently because the pain was a bit too much for the poor girl and she ended up throwing up down Iwa’s chest.

To top it all off, when he was writing notes for one of the certified trainers a little later, black spots started popping in and out of his vision and his upper arms started tingling. Anxiety immediately settled in his chest. Of course; the only way to end such a terrible day was with a migraine. He had at most thirty minutes from the start of the tingling to get home and take his meds before it became too late.

And of course that didn’t happen.

His notes took longer to finish because of the black spots interrupting his typing and the increasing difficulty he had starting at the blue light of his computer. Then his usual train route was under construction so they took a detour.

Now, here he was, an hour later, standing in the elevator, hating his very existence as the pulsing behind his eyes increased and nausea made his stomach churn.

Finally the doors to his floor opened and he stumbled forward, fighting his vertigo towards his apartment. The hall lights blinded him.

His fingers fumbled with the keys as he leaned against the door and when he finally got the door open, he all but fell inside. He dumped his stuff messily by the door (Oikawa would yell at him later for that) and made a beeline for his bedroom.

Iwaizumi could have cried when he finally got to his room. He didn’t bother with the lights and collapsed onto his bed. His head pounded relentlessly. He curled into a ball and whimpered.

“Iwa-chan? That you?” Oikawa’s bubbly voice from the hall cut through his brain like a knife and he brought his knees even closer.

“Iwa-chan, are you okay?” his voice was closer now. He was most likely standing in the doorway, a hand placed on his cocked hip.

“Migraine,” Iwaizumi moaned. Oikawa was quiet.

“Did you take your meds?” he whispered eventually. Iwaizumi was hella grateful for their life long friendship because Oikawa dealt with this before and knew exactly how to make Iwa more comfortable. Including toning down his usual obnoxious tone.

“Too late,” Iwa responded weakly.

“Tch. That’s not true and you know it,” Oikawa chided softly. Iwaizumi heard him moving around in the room before he felt the bed dip.

“Here. They might not prevent it from happening anymore, but you know as well as I do that it might lessen the symptoms,” he heard Oikawa much closer this time. He groaned in response but sat up.

He clenched in eyes shut to fight off the dizziness before prying them open again to look at Oikawa in front of him. He was holding the water bottle from Iwaizumi’s bedside table and his migraine meds. The look on his face resembled a chastising mother.

“I don’t know if they will,” Iwa said, “the aura started over an hour ago.” He took them anyway.

“You didn’t have anything with you?” He shook his head and winced at the motion.

“What’s on your arm?!” Oikawa screeched and Iwaizumi hissed when it sent sharp pains through his skull.

“Sorry, sorry I’m sorry,” the bastard whispered.

“Just iodine,” Iwa responded and looked down at the brown stains on his arm.

“Oh.”

It was quiet again then and Iwaizumi settled back in bed.

“Wait, do you want to change?” Oikawa asked and stood up. He moved towards the dresser before waiting for a response.

“I want to sleep,” Iwa grumbled, getting increasingly more annoyed. He knew Oikawa was trying to help, but he hasn’t had a migraine this bad in a hot minute and the swirling in his stomach was only getting worse. Throwing up always made it worse, so he wanted to try and avoid that if he could.

“Sit up,” Oikawa said and Iwa would smack him if he had the energy.

“Oikawa, please,” he moaned again. He sat up anyway, his legs dangling off the side of his bed.

Oikawa pulled his shirt gently over his head and replaced it with a soft sweatshirt. It smelled like Oikawa and Iwa felt comforted despite himself. Next his jeans were pulled off almost clinically, as if he would break if Oikawa went too fast or pulled too hard.

Oikawa helped him into a pair of basketball shorts and then finally allowed him to lie down.

Iwaizumi wouldn’t ever say it out loud because it would give Oikawa too big of a head if he knew changing out of his school clothes made him feel just the slightest bit better. His jeans had been adding to the sensory overload.

“We were supposed to meet up with the guys tonight. Want me to cancel?” Oikawa asked, scratching Iwa’s head gently with perfectly manicured nails. It gave him a temporary relief from the pulsing that threatened to crush his head.

“No. You go,” he slurred, falling asleep.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Oikawa hummed and continued running his hand through Iwa’s hair. It didn’t stop the pain, but it diminished it enough that eventually, he fell asleep.

***

Iwaizumi woke up with a strangled breath when pain exploded through his skull and down the back of his neck. He blinked a few times, staring into the dark room trying to clear his blurry vision.

This wasn’t right. No, sleep was supposed to make him feel better, but an intense pain covered his entire head. It felt like someone was squishing his brain in between their hands. Why why why.

Suddenly he was nauseatingly dizzy and he realized he was panting, depriving his already struggling brain of precious oxygen. He pulled his knees to his chest and tried to calm down his breathing.

His body didn’t want to give him a break though because as soon as the world righted itself again, his stomach contents swirled sickeningly in his gut. He tried to ride out the nausea. He didn’t want to throw up. That would make the pounding worse. The more he thought about it, the more his stomach turned and he realized he was fighting a losing battle.

In a vain attempt to stay in bed, he thought to try and call Oikawa into the room only to put together that the roaring sound that was hammering nails into his skull was the shower. So he was on his own. He needed to make it to the bathroom. Needed to make it to Oikawa.

With heavy limbs, he forced himself to sit up and almost lost it. He gagged, slapping a hand over his mouth. It pounded in his skull. He swallowed it down and slowly made his way out of bed.

By the time he made it to the bathroom, he almost lost it three times and the pain in his head was unbearable. His eyes stung with tears and he pounded on the door before throwing it open and tumbling into the room. He collided with Oikawa who squawked loudly, painfully. Iwaizumi ignored him and collapsed in front of the toilet.

As soon as he moved his hand away from his mouth, he heaved once and vomit poured from his mouth. It burned the back of his throat and his chest. The torture stopped just long enough for him to catch his breath before he lurched forward with another gag and threw up again. His chest was on fire and the lights in the bathroom seared into his brain and he really just wanted everything to stop.

The sound of the lights clicking off registered through his haze somehow and he opened his eyes (when he closed them, he wasn’t sure). Then, a gentle hand was on his back.

“Oh, Iwa-chan. It’s a pretty bad one this time, huh?” Oikawa said tenderly from beside him. He turned his head slowly and found himself face to face with his best friend. He was wearing pajamas, so he must have gone to change at some point since Iwa entered the bathroom.

Oikawa smiled sympathetically and something in Iwaizumi cracked. Suddenly, the flood gates were open and he found himself launching himself into Oikawa’s chest. Thin arms wrapped around his back as he sobbed.

“It h-hurts s-so b-bad,” he weeped.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry, I wish it didn’t.” Oikawa buried his face in Iwa’s hair.

“You need to calm down though. It’s only going to make you feel worse.”

As if on cue, Iwaizumi’s stomach lurched again and he tore himself away from Oikawa’s arms to wretch once again.

The nausea and pain made him dizzy. He was having trouble keeping himself upright, but thankfully, Oikawa placed a hand on his forehead to keep him from banging it on the toilet seat.

“Shhhh, it’s okay,” Oikawa soothed as Iwa stared into the toilet. His stomach still turned dangerously but he was on the verge of collapse. The tightness in his head only got worse and he really wanted to cut his own head off. He cursed his brain for being messed up and causing him such pain.

He started heaving again, but nothing was coming up and it hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt. Make it stop make it stop make it stop.

“Hajime, breathe,” Oikawa commanded quietly, rubbing between his shoulder blades. It did nothing though. His stomach kept rolling and turning thanks to his stupid stupid head.

Finally, the back of his throat gurgled and a wet hiccup brought up bile and the rest of his lunch. He coughed and sputtered into the toilet and gasped for breath. Maybe it was over.

A minute or two after the episode ended, Oikawa spoke again.

“Ya think you’re done?” He spoke so softly and so tenderly it made Iwa’s heart soft. He nodded.

Oikawa helped him lean back against the wall and a second later, handed him some water and his toothbrush. He lazily rinsed his mouth and brushed the nastiness away before spitting in the toilet. Oikawa flushed it and turned to help him up.

Once he was standing, the pain magnified tenfold and his knees buckled.

“I think I’m gonna pass out,” he mumbled and Oikawa caught him before he could fall.

“Hey, no. Not allowed,” he said and ran a wet wash rag over Iwa’s face (where did he get that?)

“Okay,” Iwa slurred, “not this time.”

“Thank you,” Oikawa chuckled. Together, they made it back to Iwa’s bedroom. Oikawa helped him under his covers and kissed his forehead.

“My poor Iwa-chan,” he sighed and scratched at Iwa’s head again.

“Stay here?” he asked pathetically. Oikawa blinked at him.

“Of course. I’ve already called the guys and told them we weren’t coming,” he said. He walked around the side of the bed and sat against the headboard, nestled beside Iwaizumi. Iwa turned and buried himself in the setter’s stomach and immediately, Oikawa’s hand was running through his hair. He sighed contentedly. This was by far one of his favorite positions.

“Go to sleep, Iwa-chan. Hopefully your migraine will be gone in the morning.”

These migraines really knocked him out. They stripped him of his usual personality and left him a sniveling, pathetic, clingy, mess. But he was a mess Oikawa was familiar with and Iwaizumi was eternally grateful for that. Oikawa knew what he meant when he couldn’t use as many words as he’d like. He knew how to make him comfortable, what foods he could tolerate and how to comfort him. There was no one else that Iwaizumi would ever want around when he got migraines. Hell, there was no one else Iwaizumi wanted around at all. As long as Oikawa was there, he’d be fine.

#sick iwa makes me weak #haikyuu sickfic #my fic #sick iwa #caretaker oikawa #iwaoi #tw vomit #request

[silveanna]

Hello World

Na jaemin x fem!reader, Feat. 00 liners

Summary: Wait, humans suddenly disappeared? well isn’t it fun? you get to do whatever you want now but no one will be there for you anymore. You’re completely alone in a world that seems to be dead but is that Really it?

It’s been hours since you woke up, you’ve been wandering around the city but you haven’t met a single person yet. You also checked your phone but all your contacts, photos and all the files in it are gone, there is also no signal. It was quiet, too quiet it was hurting your ears. There’s no wind or any birds chirping and especially, the people are gone, it feels like the world isn’t alive at all. “i swear if i’m in Alice in borderland, im going to kill myself” you said.

You went to the mall market but the food seems to be expired already, seriously for how long did they disappeared? but at the fruit aisle there were still a few fresh fruits, you weren’t a big fan of fruits, you hate it but you have no other choice, all the foods are expired even if it isn’t you don’t know how to cook at all. Well, you can cook instant noodles and eggs but that’s all.

And of course because you’re alone, you jump on the beds at the furniture aisle while singing “five little monkeys jumping on the beds” not until you heard a loud thud nearby, you quickly hide under the blanket. Minutes passed nothing happened, maybe something just accidentally fell.  Yeah ACCIDENTALLY

Months have passed, everyday feels the same, like you’re on a loop it’s sickening, are you really alone? or maybe your just dreaming. You tried pinching your arm, it hurts but nothing changed the world is still empty... dead. You’re running out of food, Your gonna die alone, no one is going to mourn your death. “Oh god oh god..” you pulled your hair and cried.

“I don’t want this, i didn’t ask for this.. I miss everyone” you said and hugged your knees.

.

.

.

.

.

“Here”

“Huh?” you immediately looked up, a guy with jet black hair beside you is offering you a handkerchief, you ignored it and wiped your tears with your hands, he looks away and puts the handkerchief back in his pocket. There’s a lot of stuff running in your mind right now, you feel happiness, sadness, and anger at the same time. You snapped out of your thoughts when he waved his hand in-front of your face. “I think they forgot us and went to mars” he joked but it didn’t move you.

You were too busy scanning every inch of his face, why the fuck he looks so healthy compared to me.. maybe he’s a robot?

He was in the middle of talking when you suddenly poked his cheek, “oh wow you’re real” you said, he laughed and removes your finger away form his face. “Yes I am real”

You keep asking him about everything, he tries his best to answer your questions. “Before all of this, i like being alone, it relaxes me, you know just vibing with myself but not this alone” he explained.

“I know, waking up thinking it was another normal day and the next thing you knew the people are gone, I might have you now but you might suddenly disappear too or me. Back then I’m scared to die, cause when you die you can’t do anything you want anymore, it’s just like dreaming forever, but for me this is worse” You said.

He took your hands and looked at you in the eyes, it was beautiful but the person who have it is sad. He wanted to changed that “Let’s make the most of it while we still have each other, I’m Jaemin by the way you?” He smiled.

His smile was beautiful and calming, almost like a free therapy, it made your heart skipped a beat “I’m y/n” . And so you two did, you shared each other’s favorite stuffs, read books together, danced in an empty street while raining, watched the sunset, played board games, and put on some expensive clothes and pretended like you guys are in a fashion runaway.

“You see that three stars together? My mom said those are the three Kings, oh there’s the orion!” You said pointing in the starry sky, you and jaemin are stargazing on top of a hill. He stares at you lovingly while you keep telling him about the meanings of each constellation you point out in the night sky. “I love you” he said out of nowhere causing you to stop.

You looked at him, his eyes sparkling “I love you too you know that” you said.

“No like LOVE love” he clear up.

Jaemin looked away, “It’s fine I can wait, I have all the time in the world”

Silence..

“It’s not like there’s someone who’s going to stole yo-“ when he looks back at your spot you were gone, it was as if you had suddenly disappeared like a bubble. “Y/n?” He stands up and starts looking around for you, his breath getting heavy, his vision starts to get blurry as tears formed on his eyes. Jaemin dropped on his knees and looked down. Just when things started to be fun, one had to disappear. Now he’s all alone again.

•••

You slowly opened your eyes, your vision cleared up and a white ceiling is the first one that greeted you. You felt a dextrose which is injected into your right hand. Wait, what are you doing in a hospital? you were like fine seconds ago.. and where’s Jaemin?

A woman entered the room, she looked middle aged based on her hair which has a few white strands. You were surprised when she suddenly jumped in joy when she saw you were awake, she fishes her phone out of her pocket and dials someone’s number. “Honey come here! our daughter is finally awake!” after that she cuts the line and hugged you. “Mom?” you said. She cares your hair softly “Im glad you can still remember me, i’ll go get the doctor wait here okay?” you nodded.

Your mom leaves the room, you sat there in silence. Was is it all a dream or am i in another dream right now? what about Jaemin? 

Soon the doctor arrived with your mom, no, with your whole family. The doctor asked you a few question and you answered them effortlessly, “Your daughter is doing fine now, we can arrange her documents so she can leave in few days, and i recommend to let her rest for three days before going back to business.” the doctor explained.“Thanks doc” you heard your dad said, the doctor nodded and leaves the room along with their nurse.

“I don’t remember what happened, how did I ended up here?”you asked, they all sat beside your bed. Your mom held out your hand and rubs it with her thumb. “You got hit by Car, you were comatose for 8 months we thought we were going to lose you” Your dad explained. You forced a smile, you don’t know what to do in this kind of situation so you just looked down.

You looked up after you felt your stomach growl, “can i go to the cafeteria? im hungry”you requested.

Your mom accompanied you to the cafeteria while your dad and older brother decided to stay in your room, you were surrounded by a lot of people you felt different. You want to tell your family about what happened and especially Jaemin but they might think your silly. While your mom is ordering food, you are looking for an empty seat. You weren’t paying much attention infront of you and bump into someone, luckily they catches you before you kiss the floor.

“sorry i’m so sorry i wasn’t looking” you apologized.

“no no it’s fine i wasn’t either” the guy smiled, he felt familiar, it feels like you already met him but where? “oh wait y/n? it’s you, glad you already woke up!” he said and hugged you.

“i’m sorry you are?”

“i’m Jeno, we’re classmates remember?, i came here to visit you and visit my friend jaemin also-”

“Jaemin? did you just say Jaemin? where is he? is he okay? wait is he here? please tell me it’s just high fever or he works here?”you asked.

“Oh Y/n there you are, let’s eat?” Your mom interprets the conversation, “he’s in room 25, 10th floor meet me there” Jeno said and left.

“So Jeno’s here too?” Your mom asked.

“Yeah he’s supposed to visit me but we met here so he’s off to his friend now” you explained, you were happy to hear that Jaemin’s here but felt guilty after you remembered you suddenly left him at the hill.

After you finished eating with your mom, you told her you’re going to room 25, she still accompanied you there but she just waited outside the room. When you got inside you immediately saw Jaemin sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed with his life support. He’s sleeping, does that mean he’s still in that world? Alone?

There are tears trailing down from your cheeks as you approach his unconscious body, “h-how long has he been like this?” you asked Jeno, he stood beside you and pats your back even though he has no idea how you knew his bestfriend. “3 years, brain infection”

That night you prayed a thousand times, hoping that in your sleep you would return to that world to be with Jaemin again and tell him you love him too. Eventually you got there, to the place where you guys usually hang out but you didn’t met him, you looked around for him but you couldn’t even see his shadow. Or any trails he left behind. He just disappeared like you did before. Morning came, afternoon, evening, a day, and a week. You didn’t woke up. You were trapped in there again.

Kicking a can out of your way as you took a road to god knows where, you lost count on how long you’ve been trapped but it almost felt like a year or more “I wonder if Jaemin already woke up”

“He hasn’t” you turned around and saw a very tall figure of a man wearing black suit, “But he will, just not now. I believe your time is up miss” you took a few steps back away from the man. “Haha very funny, I know you’re just trapped here just like me” you said and started to walk again. “What you call ‘here’ is where lost souls go who still have a chance to live but you don’t, your brain is starting to shut down and the doctors back in the real world are trying to save you with a defibrillator” he explained. You stopped in your tracks. So now you’re dying? you haven’t pretty much done all your goals in life yet.

“I-I’ll go back! I will woke up!”

“Haha we’ll see miss, three days, I will give you three days, if i still spot you wandering around here you have no choice but to come with me” he smirked, he snapped his fingers and poof! he was nowhere to be seen.

•••

“You seriously don’t remember her?”

“No... why? Do I have to?” Jaemin sipped his black coffee.

“I don’t know, it’s just that after she woke up she went to see you, she was crying it’s kinda...unfair”Jeno explained, ever since Jaemin woke up Jeno’s been trying to tell everything about you but it doesn’t ring any bell to him. “Unfair? What? It’s my fault if i can’t remember her? I’ve been asleep for 5 years and so is she, how the hell— argh nevermind” Jaemin face palms himself.

“C’mon Jeno don’t force him to this, he can’t be stressed” Renjun said.

“Yeah yeah right sorry” Jeno apologized.

They all went back to their business, silence filled the room. Renjun and Haechan are focused on their phones, Jeno looking outside the window, and Jaemin drinking his favorite drink. Jaemin was dozing off until a certain memory from his dream played in his mind. He was in an empty grocery store with a girl, everything was clear except her face, her voice was also mute. “I like canned bread, it’s kinda good” Jaemin said out of nowhere.

His friends looked at each other in confusion and back at Jaemin, Haechan scoffs “since when have you eaten canned bread?”

Jaemin’s unable to answer, he swear he have. Jaemin shruggs “Nevermind”.

12:30 pm, Renjun and Haechan already left since they still had school tomorrow. Same as for Jeno, he’s just waiting for Jaemin’s mom to arrive so he could go home, he didn’t want to leave his dear friend alone. The Tv is on shopping channel, the air conditioner was off but it’s still cold. They couldn’t sleep. As Jaemin spaces out, he hears this familiar voice of that girl again, she was singing. It was annoying and relaxing him at the same time, he couldn’t understand why he feels such feeling towards a girl who only lives inside his head or is she really? Her face is still blurry but he can finally hear her voice loud and clear. “Hey little train we are all jumping on..the train that goes to the kingdom...” Jaemin sang quietly.

“Where did you heard that?” Jeno ask.

“Someone... I don’t know” Jaemin replied, Jeno shook his head and puts his attention back to his phone. It keeps happening, Jaemin saying things out of nowhere, facts about him that sounds fake but aren’t , its just that, it didn’t happened in reality. “I used to hear y/n sing that a lot when she still attends school, it’s kinda annoying to hear the same lines over and over again but, her voice is beautiful.” Jeno shared.

silence...

“I want to see her, that girl you keep blabbering about, I want to see her” jaemin said.

“But you’re still not allowed to leave your bed until the doctors said so?”

“Do you think I care? I’ve been in this bed for 5 years it’s time to get up” Jaemin hops down the bed and puts his slippers on, he goes at the door and peeks outside. “There’s no one around let’s go” he says. The hallway was empty and quiet, the nurse who was appointed at the receptionist desk was in deep sleep. It was so easy for the boys to wander around without staffs standing in their way.

There’s no one inside y/n’s room at the moment, she was still unconscious, a nasal cannula place around her nose as it gives her oxygen. “She got hit by car, woke up after 8 months and went to see you, she didn’t woke up again after that” Jeno explains.

Jaemin held your hand, it was cold as ice, i never met you but how come i feel like i already knew you like the back of my hand?

•••

“I can’t decide whether I should take her or not, I’m already late for my given deadline argh” the black suit guy whom you met earlier was watching you from afar kick a vending machine again and again, you weren’t hungry or anything, well you can’t feel any hunger anymore, you’re just an empty lost soul who’s not yet ready to go. “Something is holding her back, like a thin red string attached on her back that trails back to the real world” he rest his head on his palm.

He teleported right in front of you, “it’s only day one what are you doing here?” You ask him.

“Listen missy, I’m just doing my job okay? Just come with me and you’ll be at peac—“ he was cut off when he hears a heartbeat, your heart beat. It was purple and it’s glowing, “what’s happening? What’s happening?!” You shook him.

“Hold on hold on, I’ll get my handbook” he snapped his finger and an old big brown book appeared out of nowhere, he used his powers to flip the pages until it gets to the page he was looking for. He puts his glasses on and reads the text. “Well it seems like your not coming with me anymore, any moment now you’ll come back to the real word BUT you won’t remember everything” he explains.

“Is it temporary? Like after a long time I will regain my memories?”

“I’m afraid not, but at least you’re coming back” the grim reaper hears you sigh,he looks away and flicks your forehead. “ah! what was that for?” you glared at him while rubbing the spot he just flicked. “I did it so you won’t lose your memories, it’s against the rules but it’s my first time doing it so i guess i won’t get fired entirely. Maybe just a few punishments” he shruggs.

“why? why did you cross the line?”

“i want to see how it’s all going to end... don’t worry much kid, i have other back up jobs”

5 days later

“Finally! shit!” You cheered, you’ve lost count on how many tissues you used to remove the ink from your face. 3 minutes before you woke up someone’s kid got inside your ward and drew on your face. Your family was crying and laughing at you at the same time, you were confused at first until your brother handed you a mirror. You dump all the tissues at the trash and went out the bathroom, you were with your brother at the moment because your parents are still at work. 3 more days before you’ll finally be discharge and another 3 days for you to rest at home before going back in action. 

You went to the couch where your brother was peacefully sleeping, he’s pretty much also knocked out because of work. You don’t want to disturb him anymore, so you went outside to look around, it’s boring if  you just stayed in your room. You found a large garden at the ground floor and went in there, the sunlight is illuminating the whole garden, it just rained a while ago so it looks like there are crystals glued to every plant and flower. All of it shines beautifully. The place looks like those beautiful sceneries in anime’s. Back then at that world everything looks cold, lifeless, almost looks like grey. 

You went to the main spot of the garden, the wishing fountain. “Hey little train wait for me.. i was held in chains but now im free” you sang, you stare at your reflection from the water and tucked a strand behind your ear. “I’m hanging in there don’t you see?” out of nowhere, you heard someone whispered the lyrics, you got startled because of it and fell towards the fountain. What if it’s a ghost? You’re in a hospital after all. 

“Oh my god i’m so sorry! here let me help you up” 

“Good thing i have-- Jaemin?! wait, is that really you?” your eyes widen, you feel your heart beat faster and got goosebumps. He wasn’t wearing a hospital gown anymore, that means he got discharged before you did.

He giggled “why don’t you poke my cheeks again like you did last time?”

#na jaemin #nct u #nct #nct imagines #nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct 2020 #nct fluff #nct dream #nct ot23 #nct dream x reader #jaemin x reader #jaemin imagines #nct jaemin #silveanna #nct u imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct drabbles #nct aus

[reflectionsofneptune]

little reasons why you could be attracting particular signs

Some reasons why you could be attracting these signs, or signs on these particular house cusps. I had lots of fun w/ this post so take it w/ a pinch of salt. My lil thoughts as usual. Big kiss. 

Aries / sign on your 1st House Cusp

You’re frustrated. Or maybe you’ve suddenly been onset with a surge of energy for a particular project or subject that’s close to your heart. Feeling risky? Or, are you feeling lost? Is there something you want to dive all in to? Are you becoming more confident in yourself? Giving yourself pep talks in the mirror? Daily reminders popping up on the phone? Aries energy is all about putting energy in the world (Cardinal) based on one’s aspirations (Fire). The universe could be asking you to stop being all talk and dreaming of things (Pisces) to the point where all they remain wistful fantasies and take action. (Aries/1st house) Steps forward, no matter how small, no matter how big, count.

Taurus / sign on your 2nd House cusp

You’re hungry. Hahahaha I’m laughing while I double check my fridge knowing there’s nothing there :) :) What are your boundaries looking like? Have you got a firm idea of what you will and won’t stand for? Do you have something in your life you’re nurturing? Do you need to pay more attention to your coins? Working on self-love? Taurus energy is all about consolidating (Fixed) material things and a solid value system (Earth) to help circulate a feeling of stability in their life. The universe could be asking you to to take that vision you have (Aries) and line up all the things you have accessible to you, right this very minute, that can make that happen. (Taurus/2nd house) Appreciate what you have, and watch how many new things pour in.

Gemini / sign on your 3rd House cusp

You’ve been gossiping. So that person you bitched about heard what you said…..and this Gemini in your life…..is here to get the receipts…..i’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. SIKE. What are you paying attention to nowadays? Ideas? Other people’s opinions? Are you learning something new? Maybe you need to not be so attached to ideas, thoughts and concepts coming from other people. Make your own mind up. Do you have interesting ideas you can share with people, but you’re keeping it under wraps? No fair. Gemini energy is all about sharing (Mutable) their opinions (air) with other people. The universe could be asking you to express your unique talents (Taurus) with the world through a platform of some sort. (Gemini/ 3rd house) It’s OK to speak up about your ideas. I bet they’re awesome. 

Cancer / sign on your 4th house cusp

You’ve been crying. Nah I’m playing. (but if you have, that’s OK too). Maybe you’ve been working on your inner child. Have you been taking some time to re-parent yourself with good food, good company and that one film you loved as a kid? Are you healing trauma from your childhood? Maybe healing needs to be done on the female relationships in your life. Maybe you need to be honest about the things in you life you emotionally react to in situations that doesn’t warrant this kind of behaviour. Cancer energy is all about actively (Cardinal) nurturing themselves and others (Water) through comforting actions.The universe could be asking you to look at your thoughts (Gemini/3rd house) and seeing what a direct impact that has on your emotions. What we think has a correlation to the feelings we feel.

Leo / sign on your 5th house cusp

You’re doing too much. There’s probably an area of your life, where you’re shining. It’s possibly your living from the heart now. You’re putting yourself out there. Or, maybe you need to take the time to have some fun? Are you ignoring those recurring impulses to do something creative which will feed your spirit? Leo energy is all about being self-willed (Fixed) in their ability to showcase their creative self-expression (Fire) to others. Leo’s know that they are the shit, you can’t tell ‘em nothin’. The universe could be asking you to find a special way to channel your emotions (Cancer/4th house) into an artistic expression somehow. Creativity is so subjective - beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder at the end of the day. You’re doing amazing, sweetie. *KJ voice* hehehehe.

Virgo / sign on your 6th house cusp

You need to clean up an area of your life. Virgo energy is all about being adaptable (Mutable) with one’s ideas as well as routines and habits in one’s daily life (Earth). Are you becoming more organised? Paying more attention to what you’re ingesting in all forms, staring from the food you’re eating to the people you’re surrounding yourself with? Or maybe you need to Marie Kondo something, bad. Bring order into a chaotic structure in your life. Maybe, those self-defeating thoughts that do no good for your well-being need a stern talking to. A balance needs to be struck between the mental side and the physical side. The universe could be asking you to better shape that creative talent you have (Leo/5th house) and refine it. Not to a level of perfection which is often unattainable, but a little tweak here and never hurt anybody.

Libra / sign on your 7th house cusp

You’re out of balance. Libra is all about a dedicated intention (Cardinal) of obtaining harmony and a sense of fairness in relationships (Air) of all kinds, be it platonic, romantic, professional. Maybe you’ve been giving extra care to your relationships and are showing up for those people that have had your back. Are you missing out on the beauty in life? Vacillating between two things? Or maybe you’ve taken a good look at the people around you, and people who don’t match your energy have got the chop. Can you see two sides to one situation? The universe could be asking you to take a look at how the lens - be it critical, analytical, thoughtful or helpful - (Virgo/6th house) in which you view people hinders or strengths your partnerships.The great thing about life is people are often mirrors, what you dislike in someone else, may actually be present within you on a deeper level. 

Scorpio / sign on your 8th house cusp

You’re sexually frustrated. Are you going through a pivotal change in your life? Or are you tapping into your sexual power? Sexual liberating yourself from things that held you down? Maybe discernment has been strengthened lately and you’re not taking much at face level anymore. Playing detective? Or, are you struggling to open up to others? To be vulnerable. Do you need to let go of something? Scorpio energy is all about a strong willpower and determination in life (Fixed) that comes from a total transformation and understanding of one’s unconscious wants and desires. (Water) The universe could be asking you to look at the ways your unconscious childhood emotional patterns affect your relationships. (Libra/7th house) Life gets better when you don’t hold back and open yourself to experiencing things, fully. Promise.

Sagittarius / sign on your 9th house cusp

You’re been acting reckless. Have you been seeing life from a more expansive point of view? Maybe you’re taking risks in life and they’re paying off in ways you didn’t dream possible. Look at you. Are you wanting to just drop all responsibilities and F off to somewhere completely different? The idea of throwing yourself into the deep end of this thing called life look appealing? I feel you. Or maybe, you’ve being a bit more blunt, honest in life and saying things for how they are. Do you need to lighten up in an area of you life? Maybe, there’s an area of life that needs to you to rely on your higher mind and follow your heart. Sagittarius energy is all about widening their beliefs (Fire) in a curious fashion as they explore life. (Mutable) The universe could be asking you to dive deeper into your shadow side (Scorpio/8th) to aid you in personal growth. 

Capricorn / sign on your 10th house cusp

You’re too preoccupied with your career. Recently, you could have been thinking about what you want to do in life. Getting more serious on your life purpose kind of thing. Perhaps the steps you need to take are becoming more clear. You’re becoming more clear on your position in society. Or, you feel a fear about stepping into your power. You may be questioning whether or not you have what it takes. Possible responsibilities looking more like burdens than opportunities for growth. Capricorn energy is all about disciplined efforts in steps in their world (Cardinal) to secure one’s material security. (Earth) The universe could be nudging you to actually cement your dreams (Sagittarius/ 9th house) house into something practical. Let’s get the bag. I mean, let’s graft for the life that we really want. 

Aquarius / sign on your 11th cusp

You’re being rebellious. Have you been researching a broader range of topics related to human consciousness?  Perhaps you’re investing effort in your friendships. It could be that now the way you react to things, or you’re actively trying to see people, places and things from a more objective standpoint. Or you need to incorporate that viewpoint in your life. Is there an area of life where you just need to be brave and be rebellious? Aquarian energy is all about establishing (Fixed) an inventive and progressive way in which one can use in relating to others in society. (air) The universe could be asking you to further mould what you produce in the real world (Capricorn/10th house) to ensure that it has positive benefits for society.

Pisces / sign on your 12th house cusp

You’re tapping out. Or, you’re not but you are giving yourself precious time to do some productive visualisation. Maybe you’ve been researching spiritual topics such as LOA and manifestation. Do you need to forgive yourself, or someone else? Maybe compassion is how you’re living your life nowadays and it feels amazing. Realising that we’re all connected in one way, shape or form? Pisces energy is all about being the ability to co-exist (Mutable) with whatever life throws at them by relying on their intuition (Water) and connection to a higher power to get them though. The universe could be asking you to look at how you can give back (Aquarius/11th house) or, alternatively, make a deeper connection with yourself. The good, bad and the ugly. Does your ego need a check?

#astrology #astro #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #mine #zodiac signs #zodiac #astrology observation #mutable #cardinal #fixed #water #earth #fire #air

[popculturebuffet]

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck: The Last of the Clan McDuck!  Review “It Was Worth THE Dime”

This is one of my faviorite comic book stories of all time. Given i’m a massive comics nerd, for both books and strips, that is the highest praise I can give this wonderful, epic, beautifully drawn and deeply emotoinal story. I first discovered it in the local library that had the second volume, and found the rest online at a now long dead fan site. And while it took me longer than I care to admit to really dig into Duck Comics, and even now i’ve only scratched the surface, I can say without a doubt this story is the reason I’m so deeply attached to Scrooge as a character, and that I was excited as  I was for Ducktales 2017. This comic showed me just what Scrooge McDuck should be at his core as a character, and showed me what a wonderful character that is. So with all that glowing praise as you can guess i’ve been wanting to cover this for years, and even considered though back when I was more primarily a comic book reviewer last year. Any time i’ve reviewed stuff before now, i’ve considered it, and with Scrooge’s Sisters Hortense and Matilda presumably and definitely debuting on Ducktales soon, and it’s about damn time, the timing could not be better or clearer to dig into this utter triumph.  But before we can take a look at the story itself we naturally have to take a look at the man behind it: Writer and Artist Don Rosa. Don Rosa is easily one of the best Duck Comics writer out there, seen by many as only second to his own faviorite duck comics writer and God of Ducks, Carl Barks. For those 1 of you who do not know, Barks was the man who created pretty much everything in the duck universe comics wise and a bit in animation too: He created Daisy, Scrooge, Gladstone, Magica, The Beagle Boys, The Junior Woodchucks, Gyro, Little Bulb, Glomgold, Rockerduck, and the list goes on. While he didn’t make EVERY duck, he made so many that it’d be impossible to imagine either version of Ducktales being possible without him.  So of course Rosa was a fan and while he took up the family buisness, he was also an artist and duck comics fanboy on the side. So when, even if it meant a paycut, the opportunity to actually write and draw them came up, he lept at it and thus became one of their publishers go to guys, even if said publisher published the stories overseas where the Duck Comics are far more popular and still going to this day, and ironically where most duck comics printed nowadays get their stories from. Rosa was known for his meticous historical research and gorgeous art that he took his time drawing to get just perfect and showed on the page. The man has easily some of hte best and most detailed duck art around and I still haven’t found a duck artist that can match him.. and if you have or found one close i’d genuinely love to see that. He is a genuinely talented, spirited guy who was sadly mistreated by disney and that, coupled with tragically failing eyesight, eventually ended his career. He’s still around and I genuinely hope to meet him some day as he still does conventions.  The man is not without fault: I don’t get his hatred of superhero comics, as while I get them overshadowing funnybooks and that around the time of his career they were in decline, but it’s just as unfair to write off Superhero comics as mindless.  garbage as it is for people to write off the Duck Comics as “only for kids” and I genuinely wish he’d see that and see how the medium has evolved so much since then. I also grumble a bit as his refusal to allow anything besides barks into his bubble, and having to be forced to include fethry on the family tree, but that’s more personal preference. I like using as much material as you got. IT’s why i’ve wanted to, and hopefully will eventually get around to, write a sonic fanfic using bits of all the various universes that for legal, ken penders being an absolute waste of a human being, and sega being stupid reasons can’t be used anymore. I like taking everything in a franchise and putting it in a blender and it’s why I love the reboot. But there’s nothing wrong with taking things as is, not stepping on toes canon wise, but still being awesome. We’re just diffrent people and that’s okay.  And a lot of his fanboy showing actually lead to REALLY good things: Goldie O’Gilt was a one off character, and while used ocasoinally overseas, didn’t really pick up as a character again until a combination of Ducktales 87 and Rosa’s work with her, as he always loved the character, and fleshing her out lead to her being used more, and gaining a sizeable fandom. He also gained the Cablleros an even bigger fandom by giving them two stories of their own, and fleshing them out a bit more.  And this very comic is the peak of that, taking EVERY mention of scrooge’s past from various backstories to set up adventures, every tiny scrap, and to his credit going to both Barks Himself and various other Barks Experts Rosa was friends with to check his work, especially difficult given he likey had to find these stories in issue or pullt hem from disney archives, and complied it into one long epic that not only uses all this info effortlessly, but spins a compelling story that gives us a clear vision of what Scrooge should be, how he became the man he is, and how he lost himself only to find himself again with the help of three precocious boys and a cynical 30 something duck. So taint all bad is what i’m saying.  As for how this got started, thankfully rosa himself provided the origin story for this project in the back of the volume of his works that contained the first 7 chapters of life and times, as well as detailed notes for every chapter. At the time Rosa was working for Egmont, the big european publisher who handles Disney’s much larger european comics market, hence why most of his stories appeared years earlier in Europe before debuting here. The american publisher at the time , and an old friend of his, called Rosa with an idea: A 12 issue Maxi-Series focusing on Scrooge’s history, since at the time they were all the rage.. and really even today mini series are still a viable market and many indie titles just have several minis instead of an ongoing. So it wasn’t a bad idea, Rosa just simply offered a tweak: He’d tell his publisher at Egmont about the idea, and let her get a crack team of writers and artists to do this proper, and thus Disney could publish it for free once it was done and for no extra cost. Rosa gave his publisher a fax detaling both the idea and the fact that it needed to be done right, given to the best person possible, and done with the greatest care. She agreed.. and naturally handed it to him, as he admits he hoped. She made the right call, a legend was born and here we are.  One last bit before the read more and before I get to the first story itself at last: Since barks wrote a lot of side stories that fit into the canon, I COULD slot them in between chapters, but have instead chosen to review the original 12 part story as was, and do the various side stories and two epilogues, the utterly fantastic “Dream of a Life Time”, easiliy one of my faviorite comics ever, and the also really great “Letter From Home”, which will likely on some level be the basis for the upcoming at the time of this review “Battle for Castle McDuck!”, after completing the story. In other words i’m probably going to be at this for years. so join me under the read more won’t you as I begin the journey of a thousand miles with a single step as we look at the humble start of a legend. 

We begin, after a fun short teaser with present Day scrooge saying his past is no one’s buisness only to get hit with an oh yeah?,  with a scrap book title for the issue, something I want to bring up since while I got that’s what it was what I never got, and  must’ve glanced over when I first read rosa’s notes when I got this copy, was that it isn’t SCROOGE’S scrap book, but his sister Matilda’s who dutifully and happily catologued her brother’s adventures. It’s a really sweet moment.. and something that will hit VERY hard when we reach Chapter 11. If you haven’t read this story or heard of it.. .that’s this story’s equilvent of “Last Crash of the Sunchaser” and clearly Frank and Matt drew from that story a bit for it, but we can get more into the parallels when we get there. A smaller but fun note is that Rosa had specific coin drawing templates, for different indentions and what not he used, and used them for the coins in these intro bits. Yes he admitted he has a problem and yes that’s damn impressive anyway. 

It’s Scrooge’s 10th birthday, and his father Fergus has taken him up to see the family land, Dismal Downs to tell him of the mighty Clan McDuck and show him the ancestral lands, graveyards and Castle. He admits to having taken this long because the Clan McDuck currently lives in Glasgow so it’s kind of a long trip just to show your son “Hey look at the decay and rot that’s our ancestral homeland”. The Clan is on hard times, as a bad shipping deal, the backbone of a rather good barks story and I wont’ be interjecting for every barks reference as it’d get rather tiring though for what it’s worth Rosa provided tons of detailed footnotes in the back of each Fantagraphics collection, so good on him. Speaking of which though they do include 10 pages of Mc Duck family history that was supposed to open this story.. until Rosa’s editor wisely pointed out the story isn’t about them but scrooge and having read his roug draft, yeah.. there’s a good gag here and there, as well as “Dirty” Dingus McDuck, scrooge’s Grandpa and the reason Dewey is cursed with that middle name. Why anyone thought Dingus was a good name is beyond me, nor why Donald thought that was a good middle name back in 2009 is again, beyond me. Good on Don though for getting that past the censors.  But yeah with no money they can’t buy the land back and they were scared off it years ago by a mystical ghost dog, the hound of the whiskervilles. There is treasure in the castle, Sir Quackly’s gold, but he accidently sealed himself into a wall while sealing his treasure in there. Their interrupted by the town assholes, the Whiskervilles who have been grazing sheep on the land and are naturally behind the hound, using the sound of it to scare off Fergus once they realize he’s a McDuck. Because apparently you can keep a Scooby Doo style hoax up for Centuries if you don’t have meddling kids around. Who knew.  Back in Glasgow, we meet the rest of Scrooge’s family: His Uncle Jake, his sisters Matilda and Hortense, and his mother Downy. Jake hasn’t really been mentioned at all in Ducktales and I know next to nothing about him, which given I share a name with the guy you’d THINK I would. I mean I know a decent amount about this Jake. 

But nothing about who the hell Jake McDuck is or why he lives with his brother and his family. Here, you guys watch the dancing Jake, i’m going to probably do that for hours after this review is done, i’m going to go sort this out.  Okay one google and finding the Scrooge Mcduck wiki page on him, Jake shows up here likely because he was referenced in the story “A Christmas For Shacktown” and apparently borrowed from Scrooge and never paid it back. Otherwise.. there’s not a lot about him and unlike the rest of Scrooge’s family he really dosen’t do much that I can remember. Except like 2017 Scrooge, he apparently has become extremely long lived, as Scrooge and Donald STILL think he’s alive in the 1950′s.. and likely is STILL alive in some form in the Don Rosa stories, given his take place after Barks and thus in the 40′s and 50′s where Barks stories were set. Hence why unlike the Reboot, Scrooge isn’t inexpecilbly over 210. But Jake McDuck sure as heck is. Maybe this highlander is a highlander.. you know the movie and tv show type. Maybe someone cut off his head. That’s what i’m going with.

This does bring me to another point about this story: While Barks gave all of scrooge’s family their names, it’s where Rosa got them after all, it’s Rosa who really made them into characters. Fergus as a loving father ashamed his family legacy has fallen and wanting his son to do better than him, Downy as an equally loving wife and mother, Matilda as his sweet and caring sister and later her brother’s moral center, and Hortense.. well here she’s just a babbling baby but her character will become clear and glorious as we go. She is adorable here though and we do get some great bits with her.  Getting back to the plot now i’ve made my points, Jake is riled up wanting to understandably kick the Whiskerville’s asses with Scrooge, who even as a sweet innocent ten year old still has the family temper already, agreeing.. but Downy gently shoots them out pointing that two middle aged-ish men and a 10-year old just aren’t enough to fight an army of them and while she doesn’t mention it the fight would just tire them out for work and accomplish nothing as while it is the McDuck’s land the combination of the hound and the lack of money to move back means it’s pointless. She also mentions their younger brother Pothole, who went to America. This will be important later. 

Scrooge storms off and Fergus laments, in a scene that’s more painful the more I think about it, how his clan has fallen, with he and his brother lamenting their chances at glory are long gone.. but Fergus has hope his son can do better, and for his son’s birthday makes him a shoeshine kit in the hopes of inspiring him to greatness. This scene still resonates since many of us are poor, struggling and not doing so good money wise. I’m sure many parents have doubts and regrets about not being able to do more for their kid.

 Not only that but the story carefully avoids the trap of Fergus accidently being abusive by you know, pinning his family’s future on one 10 year old. While yes he is asking a lot of Scrooge, to restore their family name.. it’s very clear he mostly just wants his son to do better than him. Even if Scrooge was just slightly more successful, Fergus would likely be happy with that. He’s not using the legacy as a “This what you must be” like say the Gems in steven universe did for Steven with Rose’s Legacy, the kind where it sort of suffocates you till youc an make it your own. He’s just saying “this is what you can be” He believes his child can be great and simply once him to reach his full potetial and is simply giving him a means to hopefully do so, a simple home made shoe shine kit. While Jake scoffs, the narration notes the idea isn’t worth a dime.. it’s worth THE dime. The dime that would set Scrooge’s destiny in motion. 

The next morning, Fergus goes to check up on his son and his new buisness but Scroogey’s having no luck and about ready to just quit, the poor child. Also Matilda is dragging her baby sister around like a doll and it’s entirely precious as it is funny. 

But as for those Dorty Boots, Matilda wonders why her dad dosen’t just tell Scrooge that Burt the Ditch Digger is coming. Fergus tells her to quite and then explains his plan: he’s sending Burt to scrooge, with an American dime Fergus and Matilda found, to teach his son a lesson: By giving him a hard days work, he’ll teach him what hard work truly means.. and by having Burt “cheat” him with the American dime, it’ll give him the motivation to keep going and to nto be as wide eyed and trusting. It’s a well meaning if harsh lesson, and the kind you’d expect from 1900′s parenting and fits the origin well: Scrooge still earned his first money square, as he still did work.. but his getting cheated being a lesson dosen’t diminish what it taught scrooge, and helps flesh out what I talked about above, Fergus knowing his son has great potential he just needs inspiration to reach it. And instead of just telling him that he does a con job but it’s the 1900′s. This orign, and Fergus’ part in it would be entirely untouched in Ducktales 2017, the first scrooge based adaptation since this comic came out, and I bless them for it. Frank even said this comic was used as a bible by the writers and while theirs clear deviations, and we’ll get to that, they were mainly done for good reason, and it’s very clear that while scrooge’s history is very VERY diffrent in the reboot, the core of his past is still there. 

So the plan is on and young scrooge spends half an hour killing himself to get Burt’s shoes clean before getting his dime.. and realizing he’s been had, makes this proud decleration that will be the bedrock of his entire life and character. 

Scrooge being naturally stubborn as you can see takes his cheats a leson: There will always be hard honest work, and he will be there to do it and he’ll be tougher and sharper than anyone trying to cheat him out of his pay. Fergus’ plan has the intended effect, and Scrooge having learned a hard lesson now has the drive and determination we know him for. As for why it gives it to him.. I had to think on it a bit but it makes sense: For some a setback like this would make them quit.. for Scrooge it’s just proof he CAN find customers, he CAN do this job, or any at his hardest and instead takes this as a lesson to be prepared ot out think and outfight anyone who dares cheat him again, and to not earn his money by being the kind of guy who cheats a kid out of an honest days pay, but as a good honest duck like his father and his father before him. =He will make his money square so he can be the kind of person this seeming stranger SHOULD have been. Granted we’ll see Scrooge doesn’t end up as the best person at times but .. we’ll get there.  So with the fire inside turned from a spark into the flame Scrooge soon got to work, and by the next panel we see he’s eventually worked his stand up from a small box given to him by his dad, to a three seater shoeshining bench, who he wipes all at once by stretching one of his mother’s girldes over a light pole, a detail I didn’t get the first time around but now love. Naturally being a good kind boy much like his Nephews, Scrooge always gave his proud father a portion of his earnings, if with a full receipt for tax purposes. Because he’s still scrooge after all. His dad wonders he did too good a job while Hortense glxbit’s in agreement. 

As the years go on, a now tween Scrooge is eventually able to save up for a horse cart, and starts selling Fire Wood up in the city. He eventually realizes Peat, an earthy subtance found in bogs I only know about because I had to look it up for this review, is more profitable and with some snappy marketing moves into selling Peat for the rich instead, also showing the young lad already has a grasp of how to sell to obnoxious rich people. 

But while his business is booming, our young hero can’t resist visiting his family’s ancestral home and longing for it, hoping one day to have it for himself and in a nice show of how despite his temper and tenacity forged over the last few years he’s still at hear the kind, sweet optimistic lad he was just a few pages ago, he decides to tidy up the Clan’s Cemetary while he’s here. 

Unfortunately as proof that Donald and Della’s terrible luck comes from both sides of the family the Whiskervilles are sub-glomgold levels of human beings.. or Dogfaces in this case, and are digging up the McDuck Clan’s graves to hunt for treasure. Scrooge tries to simply do the smart thing and flee, but the asshole brigade catch sight of him and mistkaing him for a peat burgalar chase after him.. and spend WAY too much time and energy chasing a teenage boy over some fucking bog grass you clearly aren’t selling yourselves. I mean spare a thought for how dumb this is: They could easily sell of of that peat to put up a fence or chop down some trees to get the material if their really that concerned about someone getting in the bog. Then again this isn the 1800 and 1900′s where the child death toll was simply “Yes”, so they likely thought whose gonna notice one more dead child on our property?

Scrooge heads toward the castle and is gestured in by a friendly mystery duck who gladly shows him around and can tell he’s a McDuck just by look, showing the castle is still in glorious condition as the whiskervilles are too spooked to go in, hence why they didn’t chase Scrooge inside. I’d say being afraid of ghosts but not murdering a child is weird but these are the same guys who thought murdering a child was plan A. We’re not dealing with a brain trust is what i’m saying.  So the mystery duck shows Scroogey around, showing off some colorful stories about his ancestors recycled from that scrapped prologue I mentioned. THe mystery man, who brushes off Scrooge thinking he’s a McDuck asks Scrooge what he’s doing to restore the family glory and while Scrooge points out he’s already working on it, Mystery Duck points out he’s still missing something: He has the drive and the dream, but peat and shoeshining, while getting him good money for his family, aren’t the thing you can build a fortune or a future off of. He then points out where Scrooge’s dime comes from: America.. and that gives the boy the idea to head to the states. As for what he could possibly DO there to start, the mystery guy mentions his uncle pothole. So Scrooge has the dream, the drive.. and now a plan: Go to america, work for his uncle on the riverboats, and work his way up from there till he finds his fortune and restores his family name.  But while his future is settled, the present is still an issue and Scrooge wants to teach the child murder club a lesson and thus borrows, though MM wisely points out it’s all his property a horse and some armor, and stuffs the armor with peat. As for what his plan is.. welllll

That.. is fucking awesome. And far from the last fucking awesome moment in this thing. It also shows off even as not quite a teen yet, Scrooge is still a badass already, and while he doesn’t have his trademark strength or fighting skills quite yet, his ingenuity is already there.. and that will always trump both. The Whiskervilles run away and into some quicksand and Scrooge vows to return one day as laird and reclaim his family land. But that’s a story for a few chapters down the line. As for who the mystery duck is, he’s naturally Sir Quackely himself, or rather his ghost, who was simply guiding Scrooge and didn’t give him the treasure as simply handing him the money wouldnn’t restore their family’s good name or continue their bloodline now would it? 

For now Scrooge returns to work for a bit before finding his way to America: A cattleboat to New Orleans looking for a Cabin Boy. And so Scrooge bids farewell to his family. His Dad, feeling bad he can’t even give his boy shilling, gives him the family pocketwatch with jake pitching in with the family gold dentures. While Scrooge naturally refuses to sell the watch, he does plan to sell the teeth as soon as possible for good reason. We then get some sweet goodbyes with him, his sisters (With hortense uttering her first words to everyone’s astonishment) and loving mother as he wonders just what awaits him in America. 

And there he stands on the bow of a ship, heading for a new land, in New Orleans he can be a new man. And we’ll see just what kind of man he becomes as this series continues. For now this is the end of a chapter but the beginning of a lifetime. 

Final Thoughts on Last of the Clan McDuck:

This story is excellent. While there are even better chapters to come, this one is still one of the most memorable and most joyous, showing just how Scrooge became what he is, where some of his values come from, others will be instilled along the way , and beginning to flesh out his family. We see Scrooge’s love of wealth comes from starting from the bottom, growing up with a family that barely had anything and badly needed everything, but was loving and instilled fine morals in him. We also see a Scrooge far removed from the bitter old man he is in present day, an optimistic naïve young lad who only wants best for his family. It’s a nice stark contrast to who he’ll become, good and bad, and a nice way to both compare him to Huey Dewey and Louie and break your heart as his own hardens before briefly turning black later on.  The art, as is standard for this series and Rosa, is breathtaking, and the story isn’t lacking in good jokes, their just downplayed so the story itself can take center stage. There’s nothing really more to say: it’s an excellent start to an even more excellent tale and stands proud among an already stellar story as one of it’s finest outings. 

NEXT RAINBOW: Scrooge goes down to the mighty Missipi to work on the riverboats and meets one of his signature Rogue’s for the first time in their first form, as well as Gyro’s dad.. or grandpa.. or possibly both I don’t know his family tree. Point is, tune in next time for some riverboat hyjinks.  Until then if you’d like to comission an episode of any animated show, especially ducktales and the various other duck related disney shows, or another Duck Comics story you really like from Rosa, Barks or whoever you want really, I take commissions for 5 dollars a review, with 5 dollars off your full order when you put in for more than one episode or issue. You can also follow me on patreon.com/popculturebuffet and for just two bucks a month get access to polls (which i’ll start once we have at least three patreons), and my exclusive discord server. And if you liked this review be sure to reblog it to show off. My self promotion done until next time: There’s always another rainbow. 

#scrooge mcduck #don rosa #ducktales #the life and times of scrooge mcduck #fergus mcduck #downy mcduck #hortense mcduck #hortense duck #matilda mcduck #jake mcduck #uncle scrooge #duck comics #disney duck comics #carl barks

[heytheredeann]

Another lie from the front lines

Tags: Post-Canon, Gen or Pre-Slash, Blood and Injury, Illya Kuryakin Whump, Hurt Illya Kuryakin

Summary: “I need help,” he gets out, quickly, grimacing a little without meaning to. “Floor caved in and now I’m stuck.”

Notes:  This is the fill for the "impaling" prompt on day 4. What? Today it's the 10th? I mean, did you seriously expect me to be on schedule with this? We all know I will still be finishing these in March (...or April. Possibly May) LOL. Also, yeah, still torturing Illya. I promise it won't be like this the whole month though LOL, next one should be Napoleon's turn. Gaby's too at some point if things go according to plan. when do they ever tho The title is from "Mars" by Sleeping at Last, enjoy!

.

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At first, the only thought that he can focus on is that he must not, under any circumstances, throw up: pinned as he is he would probably end up chocking himself, and right now he can’t think of a less pleasant way to die.

Then, slowly, he manages to ground himself back into his current situation, registering the dust not yet completely cleared around him, the chatter coming from the radio fallen somewhere on his left, and—oh, right, the fact that the floor caved and he got himself impaled on a rod.

When panic starts crawling its way up to his throat he tries to take a deep breath, to steady himself, but that proves to have been a bad idea as the movement pulls at his wound, dragging a growl of pain out of him and not helping him calm down in the least. His vision swims, he isn’t sure if because of the pain or because he is concussed – both, both sounds about right –, and he has to brace himself against a fresh wave of nausea.

Alright, alright. He needs to focus.

As soon as he figures his stomach can take it, he tries to raise his head up, to take a look at whether he is already on his way to bleeding out or not. He doesn’t seem to be bleeding too much, fortunately, and the rod might have missed anything vital, but he should probably put something over that wound—he doesn’t think he has anything at hand. He would have had his hat, if Solo hadn’t kept pulling it over his eyes like the overgrown child he is, prompting Illya to smack his hand away and leave the hat behind for good measure.

It's then that he actually registers the radio and the voices coming out of it, a reminder that he didn’t come alone, that he just needs to call for help.

He forgoes trying to understand what exactly they are saying, figuring that his attention span probably can’t take it, not when he has to carefully reach out, stretching his arm as far out as he can without tearing himself apart. It still hurts and the radio swims in front of his eyes a few times, but eventually his fingers brush against it and he yanks it in his direction, greedily pulling it to his chest.

The first thing that he registers is Solo complaining about Switzerland and how it’s ridiculous that they have never been sent to Paris yet and I’m just saying that we deserve a trip to Paris, that’s all.

They are in a Swiss compound, Illya remembers then, he was sweeping the second floor when the ground caved in and he woke up flat on his back and unable to move.

He misses the first time Solo leaves the line open, so he has to listen to Gaby replying that she’d actually much rather being sent somewhere in Spain, that Paris is too much of a cliché, and he does his best to focus and keep himself ready to cut in as soon as she’s done talking.

He's pretty sure that he lost track of his thoughts at least once before he can finally get a word in.

“I need help,” he gets out, quickly, grimacing a little without meaning to. “Floor caved in and now I’m stuck.”

There’s a beat of silence after he has stopped talking. “Stuck?” Solo echoes then, his concern not too well concealed behind his confusion.

Illya hums. “I got impaled on a—thing.”

[More on Ao3]

#febuwhump #febuwhumpday10 #napollya #napollya fic #tmfu fic #the man from uncle #not spn #my fanfic #napoleon x illya #tmfu