#there were literally no other candidates!

[jamiebluewind]

Was looking at some art and just had a thought after seeing a freshman year piece (linked below): The Rat Grinders were originally The High 5 Heros right? That changed to Rat Grinders after Lucy died. The 5 stood out to me, so I went to the wiki to double check and... yeah. Their original name had 5, not five spelled out. It sounds like a cute little name for a new adventuring party, but the thing is... there were 6 party members: Kipperlily, Ruben, Mary Ann, Oisin, Ivy, and Lucy. That made my mind go to theorizing.

What if someone wasn't always a part of their group (either literally or figuratively)?

If it was figurative, we got a situation where it's 5 party members and the extra one that was required by school rules (and that name never changed until after one of them died which is even more sad).

If it's literal, there were originally 5 party members, they chose their name based on being a 5 party member party, and somehow they eventually got a 6th member. It's not unreasonable to assume with the kidnappings and life stuff and five billion other factors that the freshman class wouldn't always be perfectly divisible by 6. That would leave one party short the first day (or with an extra person or two). There's a lot of ways to get a group of 5 to 6 if you really think about it (some of which might have been easier with Kalvaxus being in charge and/or Arthur Aguefort dead).

1. The party did part or all of freshman year as an odd group and a 6th is brought in later. In the meantime, they might have partnered with another group or got a hireling for party activities that required 6 students.

2. The school brought in a transfer or offered a spot to the best candidate/s that was still interested

3. Someone slipped in after the party formed using magic, devil's honey, or some other means/mechanic (it wouldn't even need to be at the start of the year)

4. There is an inconsistency due to the time quangle (and someone is exploiting that)

What could it mean? Who knows!? But my goodness isn't it interesting to think about?

PS: Thank you to @idonthaveanyurlideas for being the catalyst to my mad mad ravings tonight ^_^

#watching the newest episode tomorrow but just had to get this thought out there #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #spoilers #bluewind talks #d20 theory #fantasy high theory #theory #i am one with the tinfoil

[ducktracy]

yet another reprise of the same post i’ve made dozens and dozens of times before but GEEZ! i am so incredibly lucky to be doing what i’m doing! to think i spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years and hopefully DECADES pouring over animation history, lauding the masters and studying their work so intently and absorbing it and feeling and identifying with it, and the fact that i get to walk the same turf they did. that i get to be a part of this business that they established. that i get to carry the torch and that, some day, no matter how small or insignificant, my own work and contributions will be regarded as “animation history” because i work in animation and all history is history. i just can’t believe that i’m privileged enough to indulge in some of the same practices that The Greats did, that i get to study their work and, if i’m so lucky, channel and make homages to it where possible.

this isn’t to say “i’m just like Tex Avery because i work in animation TOO!!!!”, but, rather, an expression of my sheer GRATITUDE and amazement that i get to do what i do at all. i’ve met so many nice people. blossomed so much as an artist and cartoonist. get inspired each day by the talent i am constantly surrounded by. and to think that i get to be a part of it!!!!! that i get to carry the torch! i know this sounds so conceited and pompous and i really don’t mean it that way at all because i don’t WANT to be known as someone who people are only interested in because i work in cartoons. i just wanna be known for me! what “me” is i guess is for you to decide! but, regardless, i’m just feeling extra thankful tonight that i’m able to indulge in my passions and SPREAD my passions and have said passions fostered. that i’m lucky enough to tread the same ground as some of the greatest creatives that gave me this ground to tread on. there will never be enough words to properly articulate just how deeply and passionately my gratitude extends.

#not naming names because i feel weird bragging about them behind their back but one person who works on our show i look up to very very #highly. I MEAN I DO FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE. i am literally surrounded by some of the best in the business. but one person i particularly revere #said they were a ‘big fan of my work’ and when i was told that i legitimately went lightheaded for a few seconds #or again Ruth Clampett commenting that her dad would ‘love to see this cartoon live on’ on my art and making me bawl like an absolute baby #IT’S JUST SO CRAZY #i just. man #it’s really beyond words #and so many other kind words from bosses coworkers friends mutuals acquaintances total strangers #i don’t take any of your kindness or even just. awareness for granted #i know i’m not often vreat at responding but i do read every single tag every ask every DM! please know i never take it for granted #thank you for keeping me company and deciding i’m worth the company to keep #okay i think i have officially gone into word salad territory so it’s time to retreat #i’ve gotten much less candid for fear of maintaining some semblance of professionality but sometimes you just need to speak from the heart #(and i’ve gotten much less neurotic about that in recent months thankfully. Tumblr is my little safe haven) #so thank you for making it a safe haven at all

[aimeramie]

I've seen discussions about why Ochako's face is covered on page 7 of chapter 394 when she says that she fell in love with Izuku, and I don't think it's because there should be any doubt about how she feels.

I think she is in love with Izuku, but her eyes are not shown because she is simply not declaring her love to the person she is in love with. She is talking to Toga right now, not Izuku. I think Ochako's full face will be shown when she finally tells Izuku how she feels about him.

( As the panel at the bottom of page 13, chapter 393 suggests she wants to do. )

Ochako is jealous of the smile Toga wears when she declares her love. I think we will see Ochako's smile when she ultimately does the same. When the time comes for Ochako to actually confess her love ( and she most likely will before the manga ends ), it is more satisfying if her whole face—smile and all—is shown to the person she is actually in love with, and that person is Izuku.

edit: I kind of went off in the tags. I am not going to move the tags into the actual post, so if you are interested in more thoughts ↓

#boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #uraraka ochako #toga himiko #izuocha #i think toga will be happy for ochako when she confesses. if toga lives of course. #it would be silly to have a big moment about ochako's love for izuku here in her fight with toga. #it is important for ochako as a character to reach the conclusion that she shouldn't hold her feelings back because they are part of her. #understanding of self through the other: literally why toga was created for ochako and they were developed to match each other. #basic narrative foil business. #but there is more to this confrontation than ochako loving izuku. #ochako is facing toga because she wants to save her and talking at length about how she loves izuku would never accomplish that goal. #her love for him is a point of connection between her and toga yes. #a starting point really since it leads to a realization that ochako is jealous of toga. #*insert page 14 of chapter 393* #see how that gets a whole page of its own? #see how ochako's whole face is shown? #ochako expressing her jealousy of toga's candid nature when it comes to love is more significant here... #because that feeling is something between her and toga. #it is reciprocated. #jealousy is more significant here because toga is jealous too. of ochako. of other people being able to love and smile while she could not. #she says this on page 10 of chapter 394 and page 13 of chapter 395. #ochako becomes toga's hero by doing more than confirm she is in love with izuku. #she goes to extreme lengths to save toga and everyone around her and that is given greater importance in this moment than a confession. #as it should. #an emotional moment about ochako's love for izuku would happen between her and izuku. #not between her and toga. #basically ochako's full face is shown when her thoughts and feelings are about toga. #when she extends her hand to help her. when she tries to connect with her heart. #i am barely in the bnha fandom at this point 😂 but i do still enjoy thinking about my faves.

[plethoraworldatlas]

"You're not gonna push the Democrats left by saying people won't vote for them if they don't change"

You're not gonna push the democrats left by saying fanatically that you will vote for them forever no matter how many war crimes they commit or how genocidal they act as long as they can tell you the gop is worse! The Gop is Worse, but you should never tell a politician that you'll support them no matter what horrible crimes they commit! It certainly won't make them turn left!

"When Democrats lose they go centrist"

The democrats went centrist after they got some of the biggest and most unprecedented election victories in their history. It's why people are telling them that they only win if they change instead of "sitting on their asses doing nothing and not voting"; People are pushing them to change what they're doing, because shockingly they also don't want to live under Trump again, they also don't want the democrats to support a genocide.

Again, instead of being mad at people who are against a genocide, perhaps realize your time would be better spent being against the genocide and against funding it and actually pushing the Blue left instead of throwing your support at them blindly and then doing nothing else

#democrats #biden administration #president biden #Can't believe people don't realize that making the election genocidal guy v more genocidal guy is a bad thing #Biden has been bleeding crucial support that he legit can't win without because shockingly most people who vote Blue vote that way #Because they believed the democrats were Against genocide #It doesn't help democrats trying to do damage control are calling the city with one of the biggest populations of Arab Americans Jihad city #Even though they'll lose Michigan AGAIN if they alienate Arab voters even more #Almost any other election a Democrat presidential candidate having such low support from black voters would get calls to drop out #It's desperate if he doesn't change course #Literally they only way he could keep at it like this and win is if something even bigger happens and he solves it quickly by himself

[candidateofloyalty]

fic writers' self rec

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

I'm blatantly stealing this from @waveridden because I wanted the excuse to talk about some fic that I like. In no particular order:

Rise With The Fall (Persona 5) was my first stab at writing from Akechi's perspective and I had a lot of fun with that. This little guy has so many issues (affectionate). Also, and I know I talk about this constantly, I love any take on the Persona protagonists where they're aware of the limitations placed on them as a result of their role in the narrative. (What can I say, my first Persona game was 3.) The fact that Persona Q has regular dialogue from whichever protagonist you're not playing as haunts me. All of this is to say that Akira may be able to break Maruki's grip on his reality but he can't break mine.

Dazzling Blue Sky on the Window (Persona 3) is maybe a little bit cheating, since I wrote it as a birthday present for myself, but I love Metis, I love Minako, and I want to see what happens when you make the girl who refuses to let anyone see her emotions timeshare her soul with the girl who is literally incapable of suppressing hers. (I think the answer is that they kiss but that's not in the fic itself.)

devil he dragged me down (We Know the Devil) was an experiment in matching style and tone and I'm so pleased with how it came out. The world of the game is simultaneously emotionally specific and light on details, so working in the empty spaces there was a lot of fun.

Related, We Know Exolution (Friends at the Table) is the most ambitious project I've finished in at least five years and I think the final product is totally worth it. It's kind of the opposite of dhdmd in that now I was trying to match the tone and imagery of Twilight Mirage while still keeping the gameplay and theme of WKTD, and also now it's a twine game instead of a visual novel because my art skills are nonexistent. A fun fact is that the cover on itch is a photo I took from the train to my summer internship that was where I first got into fatt. I think it does a decent enough job of conveying the concept of instability masked by a pretty facade that's important to both the inspirations for WKE while also being a fun easter egg for me personally.

every stumble and each misfire (Ace Attorney) is a love letter to Sebastian Debeste and I have reread it multiple times in the last week. (I may be replaying AAI2.) I love when characters have to realize how bad things are in stages, and there is so much for Sebastian to unpack at the end of that game. I am definitely coming back to this topic but for now we have this and it's good.

I'm going to tag @randomidiocyncrazies and anyone else who sees this and is interested! I would love to see you brag about your fics.

#tag games #i write #ignore me #some miscellaneous other fics i considered: #rolling days (in which ritsu has a bad day in ways that entertain me) #the twist within this verbose mystery (don't know if the prose on this one holds up but i'm still so fond of the concept) #heaven knows how hard i tried (i think more characters are candidates than are literally candidates and we should talk about that) #and my fellow passerine (what if crona and death the kid were just two deeply silly kids. what then) #in general i think what i write and what i like reading doesn't necessarily overlap that much but these ones do slap and i'm proud of them

[dustandordinaryhatreds]

I guess it makes sense that Martians are supposed to have that post-anorexia decades-long coke bloat that only photoshop can fix, broooooooo

I wonder if her parents are proud that she's making sexually themed psychological terror weapons for children lol. (Because I know that my parents are/would be capable of understanding that I'm simply a victim of continuous terrorism and harassment, and if they aren't... then I genuinely just don't care what happens to them anymore. I know that MY DAD is capable of understanding that, and that my presently surviving grandma is not.. so) Or that she has multiple necessary CRISPR experiments with a disgusting morbidly obese hunchback bald leather face pedophile serial rapist terrorist fraud who hasn't married her yet, has multiple children with other women, and spends all of his time being a sex-trafficking pedophile who invests in his childhood sci-fi/murderous terrorist day dreams and paying other women to be the actual mothers to his children while Grimes spends her time getting wasted off of hard drugs with her party friends and using her baby daddy's resources to help her create the illusion that she's actually an active participant in A.I. development instead of just an influencer who lends her heavily engineered voice to A.I. projects that other people develop. Natascha Bassett would NEVER -- just like it seems like Natascha Bassett would NEVER choose to marry or have children with someone as vile as Elon Musk when there are plenty of other rich guys for her to choose from that are actually attractive and are actually capable of pleasing a woman with more than their bank account. Nothing screams "I deserve to win the custody battle/child support payment lawsuit over my children" like creating products for children that act as a weapon of psychological terror for the rape and murders you commit against civilians, the elderly, and children. Like, idk, a CAR COMPANY is disturbing and terroristic enough, but children's products? That's just on a completely different level of "I'm a psychotic sex offender who shouldn't have custody over my children or be allowed to DJ other people's copyrighted material in spaces where children are present," especially for someone who claims to be a mother. THANK GOODNESS FOR THIS MONSTER'S NANNIES, like seriously, it's so sad that those kids don't have a proper mother figure. Imagine how betrayed her poor daughter is going to feel when she's old enough to understand the deliberate choices her ova donor made toward children. Is this the kind of intel that your baby daddy is "cherry picking" from your nannies AKA the ACTUAL WOMEN who take care of your kids for you while you flood your bloodstream with hard drugs and devote your life to terrorism?

Like seriously Natascha Bassett would never, ever in a million years do something like that lol. Maybe that's because she was born beautiful and doesn't have a hideous personality disorder to match her all natural mug. Natascha Bassett is also younger than Grimes and looks a lot younger, and she doesn't HAVE to wear baggy clothes and use photoshop to hide her grotesque figure the way Grimes does. I almost feel bad for Elon Musk for being stuck in such an abusive and sexually unfulfilling relationship.

Like honestly I'm 5'2" and weigh close to 100 pounds and have like no resources at my disposal lol. THAT is the person that Grimes and Elon Musk are deliberately terrorizing... for simply listening to music, making a tweet, having a blog, and working odd jobs with the hopes of eventually finishing my education in Psychology and Criminal Justice and becoming a prison psychologist so I can work with inmates who are going to be released and sent back home to their families/children. My sister is an orphan and has been a CNA for her whole life and is a nurse and her husband is an electrician on the railroad and they have 4 kids. My dad is a veteran who won an art award in high school for a sculpture he made of two humans praying with their backs to each other who broke every bone in his body in a hit and run when he was 10, worked his entire life to help support his family, left home when he was 17 after breaking his father's ribs for beating on his mom (whom Elon Musk and Grimes murdered on October 15th, after murdering the mother of his only child on film on his birthday and then stalking/grooming/torturing/sex-trafficking his only daughter throughout her entire life both on her college campus and in every single workplace she entered), joined the Navy, and got a job as an engineer on the railroad despite how hard it was for him to work a job like that due to his injuries, only had one kid because that's all he could reasonably accomodate on his own, and did everything he could to be as good of a dad as he knew how to be and provide for me financially so I could get an education... only for it to be thrown away by Elon Musk and Grimes' terrorism and sex trafficking. THOSE are the people that Elon Musk and Grimes are deliberately and persistently terrorizing.

I would've been somewhere around 10 - 14 years old when this picture of Grimes was taken professionally by an entire team of people that her parents' connections helped her get deals with just FYI.

Also, just... is it really an ethical best-practice to allow someone with a speech impediment to be the voice for interactive children's toys? If you're trying to create an educational product to help with childhood development, wouldn't it be optimal to use the voice of someone that doesn't have a speech impediment? I understand that her voice is HEAVILY engineered in order to make it sound childlike or alluring or nice to listen to, but like... she has a speech impediment. Does she even care about the children or childhood development, or is this just another vanity project aimed at trying to disguise her true nature and beg for her baby daddy's attention? Like, idk, I get it or whatever, she wants to do the whole "DD/LG" thing with him, but.... she's making the conscious choice to bring ACTUAL toddler-aged children into her kinks and terrorism, effectively using ACTUAL children as props in both a terror campaign and a sexual game. And like... idk lol, that video she released of herself playing with the A.I. toy wasn't even sexy OR cute like she was wanting it to be lol. She just makes these awkward jerking motions and weird contorted faces while trying to look innocent and sweet as a nearly 40 year old woman of average height and weight for her body type and *sniff sniff* lifestyle, tearing her gross, boney fingers through some ratty weave she's trying to make look like hair that's as naturally and virtually effortlessly curly and beautiful as mine is.

She truly is as disgusting on the inside as she was naturally made to look on the outside... and which all of the plastic surgery and photoshop in the world has really not been able to save her from. (I feel that I should clarify that I'm not knocking plastic surgery and photoshop. I'm just making a contextual argument.)

#help me my mom's a crown prosecutor and my dad's a biotech banker but i'm so scared of having sex with the guy i chased for my whole life #and who platforms my entire career and funds my whole life #and who i willingly had several children with haha probably more than i even know about #but no i don't need to know #brooooooo #i'm A LOT younger and smaller than grimes and i know that's really what's behind her vehement abuse #you should probably just see if your baby daddy will finally marry you girl #i hope for your kids' sake that you can stay sober for long enough to protect those crispr cuties when ur bd's enemies start calling them #or hell maybe just his friends if they get drunk enough #r ur parents proud of the jokes u like to make while ur bd plays elden ring all night #and you can claim that you're a registered trademark all you want lmfao #you're still a copyright infringing fascist terrorist #i don't want your brand lmfao #you've literally spent the last several years terrorizing me so you can steal projects i was working on #like you force other people to sign NDA's so you can take writing credits for their work and have other people mix #the horribly engineered music that you still can't perform live for you #and your bd may have kept your copyright fiasco out of US news #but your fav country Japan remembers #how are you going to call yourself a world princess when you can't even honor the customs in a country you claim to love #or claim that you only supported a presidential candidate because you were in a vacuum lmfao #how are you protected from terrorism and protected from liability from your terrorism and aided by nannies and assistants AND in a vacuum #what say you of the natural state of the metis princess of mars ye olde phrenologists and eugenicists #'no consent' lol is he not paying for it? #and platforming you? #like really how involved were you in ANY of this A.I. business before you got knocked up? #you're really going to claim that the guy who didn't terrorize you at all and instead funds and platforms your career #has sex with you without your consent? #like honestly the only way you could get me to agree to having sex with you would be if i could almost snap your neck #rosa rosa republic of south africa where is my heart #oh i guess it's right here in these sexually themed psychological terror weapons i market to young children during my child custody battle

[agapemoon]

oh my god your tags on that post about twitter same same same same 😭 😭 😭 i'm loosing my mind over here twitter at least is a bit less anglo focused and I can look at fun art and funny clips in peace, even if their interface in context to fandom content is shit anyway hope you're having a nice day <3

I KNOW!!!!!! it probably has to do with the fact that i just follow hispanic latines and brazilians knxsjcdsic but idk i wasnt having a bad time until i came here and saw so many people misunderstanding the situation 😭

#they are not understanding insane duo's plans at ALL like not are they the only ones to actually have a plan rp and meta wise #but also the other candidates (besides mike) literally have no plans besides the whole 'no president fuck the federation' ideal #which will leave us in the same place ??? like not progressing at all?? #how is the situation going to get better (out rp how is lore going to move on) if things stay the same way w that 'council' #to me those 'propositions' are just ideals which maybe would make more sense and i wouldnt criticize them as much IF this elections were #the same as in past minecraft servers like just rp based. but its not. the qsmp elections have consequences out of roleplay too #literally insane duo are the only ones thinking about content creation and i love them for that <3 #askbox #thank u for ur support nonie #hope u have a great day too <3

[magentagalaxies]

me: huh why am i dealing with like. a disproportionately high amount of intrusive thoughts today. like i know i got a lil stressed over kids in the hall last night but that doesn't warrant this kind of mental reaction

*remembers i literally have a musical partially based on my experience with suicidal ideation as a teenager that i've been working on producing for the past three years of my life being released in nine days*

me: oh yeah forgot about that part

#suicide mention / #suicidal ideation mention / #intrusive thoughts mention / #other girls is such a weird fucking project to think about because like. #to be candid this post is the first time i've explicitly stated other girls is about a suicidal character #this is the first time i've admitted that i struggled with this shit like ever honestly??? #because it's not an obvious part of other girls. it's easy to ignore #the characters never use words like suicide or depression. someone says anxiety like once. #and it's still first and foremost a teen comedy coming of age story #which is a weird line to walk #no one used the word suicide in a rehearsal until literally four days ago when we were blocking the ending #and it's a weird place to be wanting to destigmatize the topic while also being scared to say the word even in my own life #this wasn't even supposed to be part of the story it was literally my subconscious clawing its way out to give myself a chance to process #what i had been dealing with in the months leading up to draft two #but idk it's such a weird experience giving my younger self who was struggling way more than i am now a voice #bc it forces me to actually like live with zir and process these parts of my identity #instead of ignoring them #idk this probably got too personal. i'm having a weird time of it y'all

[aashi-heartfilia]

The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao

*light novel spoilers*

I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)

And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?

POISON

She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.

And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.

I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.

And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.

One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.

So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.

Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:

She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.

Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.

It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.

And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.

They both are hypocrites.

And they both refuse to accept their feelings.

In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....

Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"

"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”

Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.

Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.

“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”

It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.

Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.

The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.

More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.

Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.

Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.

Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.

It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....

She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.

Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!

So, she got interested in poison.

Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.

And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.

Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.

But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).

Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)

Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.

~Sunshine

#maomao #kusuriya no hitorigoto #kusuriya no hitorigoto manga #jinshi #jinshi x maomao #maomao x jinshi #the apothecary diaries #the Apothecary Diaries manga #tad manga #kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers #manga #anime #spoilers #kusuriya no hitorigoto light novel #kusuriya no hitorigoto LN #the apothecary diaries anime #shoujo #shoujo couples #seinen #aashi animetalks #aashi heartfilia #mao mao #mao mao x jinshi #mao mao x reader #mao mao tad #maomao kusuriya no hitorigoto #light novel #kusuriya anime #shoujo anime #shoujo anime couples

[the-everqueen]

desperately hopeful that today (a week after interview) will be the day i find out whether or not i got the postdoc

#welcome to academia #by all estimates this is a reasonable amount of time to wait #and if i don't hear anything today i can assume i didn't get it #(until they confirm that i didn't like...two months from now) #i'm trying very very hard to tell myself that i won't get it #that the other candidates were more prepared and more insightful and a better fit than me #had a bad dream yesterday that they literally told me a white cis dude got it #because he proposed doing a joint-podcast thing #(like they told me who got it and why and even that he submitted his proposal late but they liked it so much) #but also i'm going to be...majorly disappointed if i don't get it? #i know at this point it's partially like...i've had so many people say ''no'' to me #that i just want one (1) win #i want SOMEONE to say yes #so i can believe i'm not total garbage as a scholar and a person #(like i am...but...) #also so i can stop panicking about being unemployed in < 2 mos.

[lapseinart]

I’m really fond of the idea of Zuko being a very competent bureaucrat. Is he an amazing fire bender by literally anyone other than the royal family’s standards? Hell yeah! But he’s also got an incredible head for facts and figures and his calligraphy is On Point and he can read really really fast so he’s just really good at paperwork.

And so one day Zuko gets fed up with Azula taunting him about being Fire Lord as soon as she escapes that he’s just like fine. And he dumps copies of rice tax allocations and legal petitions and a long list of candidates for a new Minister of Health and funding requests from the Minister of Education and the Minister of Agriculture and the Minister of Culture (all of whom he’s planning on firing but he gives them to her just to see what she does) and he says okay. Be the Fire Lord. Those need to be done by the end of the week. I’ll bring the rest down tomorrow.

And Azula’s beyond competent okay? She could do all of this and more. So she looks through everything, makes a few modifications, some of which Zuko even takes up because his little sister is a genius, but damn if it isn’t boring as hell. Sometimes when Zuko comes by she’s looking over a budget allocation for the Ministry of Agriculture and casually says, oh we had to arrest Minister Yu because he tried to assassinate me. His replacement gave us a new budget. And Azula’s eye twitches as she crumples up the parchment she was holding and thrusts her hand out to receive the new budget allocation form. She sets it on fire and pretends it’s the traitor. Nobody should get to kill her brother except for her.

And by Agni Azula knows what he’s doing because between the two of them there was one that actually enjoyed doing homework and one that would rather be outside practicing forms. But Azula Will Be Fire Lord mark her words. Azula was the politically savvy one. Azula was the one who knew how to maneuver all the pieces into place.

Azula wanted to burn all the paperwork, even if that was as good as admitting defeat.

She lasts until Zuko peers into her cell to comment on the fact that she couldn’t set a meeting with the cabinet on the day of the summer solstice without losing the support of the Sage’s (who were invaluable in maintaining the dynasty) that Azula loses it. She sets the paperwork on fire. Zuko opens the door to her cell and she stomps out.

Zuko is the Fire Lord, and the Lightning Princess stands at his side. Pointedly not doing paperwork.

#atla #zuko #Azula #fire nation #Zuko & Azula #paperwork #avatar the last airbender #lapse in thoughts #almost a #ficlet #lapse in writing #1k

[avelera]

PSA: You should question news articles that make you not want to vote

Hey Tumblr friends, but especially young Americans in this, the year of our Lord 2024.

Unfortunately, it is an election year.

Unfortunately, a US election year becomes everyone's problem, and yes everyone else, we are very very sorry that you have to deal with our nonsense.

But in all seriousness, the level of propaganda that's going to be flung around on all sides is going to reach peak levels this year for the English-speaking internet in particular. There's going to be a lot of influence operations, on all sides, and yes including on sides you agree with but they are still influence operations.

Source: I am speaking as a cybersecurity professional who also did a great deal of work in election security.

So, here's what I am going to ask you to do. What I am going to beg you to do: be careful of any article that makes you think there's no point in voting.

That's it. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, or how to think, or that you should trust or distrust every article out there. I don't care about that. I care about whether or not it makes you think you shouldn't vote.

A lot of influence operations are about making you feel like there's no point. That both sides are just as bad as the other. The the election is falsified. That you can "protest" by not voting (false: you will simply not be counted and your voice will be ignored). All sorts of reasons not to vote.

No matter what you do, what you believe, or who you trust, you really really have to vote this year, and every year, and you need to not listen to articles that say there's no point because among those articles are in fact active foreign influence campaigns trying to promote one side or the other for their own reasons, I am deadly serious right now.

(More context, sources, and examples sources below the cut.)

In 2016, Russian influence operations were focused on tearing down Hillary in order to specifically depress voter turnout among young men of color in the belief that this would help Trump get elected.

From the article: "“Buried literally in the middle of the indictment is a paragraph that should jar every American committed to the long fight for voting rights,” Anders wrote in a statement. “The Russians allegedly masqueraded as African-American and American Muslim activists to urge minority voters to abstain from voting in the 2016 election or to vote for a third-party candidate.”

This is the flavor of influence campaign that has been proven, that does exist, and is the sort of thing that does numbers here on Tumblr.

Things like the situation in Gaza, for example, are incredibly fraught situations. Articles don't even need to lie about facts on the ground there to make people feel hopeless and angry. Again, I am not telling you who to trust or not trust when it comes to news sources. But if an article about this event, for examples, makes you think or even outright tells you, "There's no point to voting, both sides are awful, I just shouldn't bother." You need to pause and at least consider that this might be an influence operation. You need to think critically. You need to check sources. You need to think about the world you want to live in, to vote for, and who might not want that world to happen for any variety of reasons.

Protesting by failing to vote isn't a real thing.

Old politicians ignoring young voters because they famously do not bother to vote is absolutely 100% a real thing. It is why so many policies that are popular with young people are low priority for politicians: they are not afraid of losing the young vote because no one plans on having it in the first place when it's never there in big enough numbers to matter.

So please, please, read what you want. Believe what you want. Follow your heart and your brain and whatever other organ you want to think with. I'm not here to tell you who is right, wrong, trustworthy, good, or bad. I'm just here to tell you that despite all of that, whatever you read, you must vote in your elections, no matter where you are in the world and you must not listen to voices that tell you not to as a protest.

#politics #us politics #maybe I'll regret this maybe no one will read it idk

[athingofvikings]

In my own experience as a Jewish Leftist, and corroborated by the similar experiences of other Jewish Leftists, there are, roughly speaking, five to six broad categories of Leftists in their attitudes towards Jews. This is a tangential categorization in terms of precise political affiliation; in other words, one's position in these categories is not dependent on what precise type of Leftist/Progressive an individual is.

Type 1: Open And Unapologetic Jew Haters

These Leftists hate Jews and don't try to hide it at all. According to them, Jews are the Problem, and they know what type of Solution they want enacted.

The archetypal example that I'll currently use is Cynthia McKinney, former US Congresswoman and US Green Party presidential candidate, who, well...

But this is also the class of Leftists who say that there is no room for Judaism in their ideal, imagined perfect world, that they picture everyone assimilating and giving up their ethnic and cultural identities to just be "human", and often single out Judaism as a particular problem in that regard.

Type 2: Closeted Knowing Jew Haters

These Leftists hate Jews, know that they hate Jews, but know that it's bad optics to openly praise Hitler or cozy up to the KKK to satisfy their hatred of Jews, so they try to find the barest veneer of plausible deniability to hide behind. "Anti-zionism" is a particular favorite on the Left, but the hatred has a way of slipping past the mask when they get questioned.

A classic example here is the Boston Mapping Project, who literally made up a list of every Jewish institution in Boston, Mass, on suspicion of them being "Zionist"--including elder homes, Jewish high schools, and Kindergartens, and including scary "links" on the map to various government agencies, no matter how tenuous or outright imaginary, thereby invoking old conspiracy tropes about "Secret Jewish Control of the Government". (And BDS, as the parent organization, also gave the lie that they're just antizionist, not antisemitic, when they disavowed the Mapping Project for bad optics, not the rank antisemitism and conspiratorial thinking they were promoting). Another example would be the organizers of the Chicago Dyke March, who explicitly expelled Jews from the March and crowed about "zio tears" (which is a slur originally used by the KKK, no less).

However on first encounter, Type 2 are indistinguishable from and camouflaged by...

Type 3: Undereducated And Unknowing Traffickers In Antisemitism

These Leftists don't hate Jews per se... they're just unaware of the deep antisemitic history of repeating claims that "Jews have too much power", or stating that the Holocaust was "White on White violence", or that "Jews are just White People from Europe", or any of a host of other antisemitic beliefs that are endemic on the Left. They're initially indistinguishable from Type 2, as they say the same things, and can only be told apart by their reactions; a Type 3 will go, "Oh, I didn't know and I'll try to learn!", while a Type 2 will typically double down, or let the mask slip in some other way.

The problem is that, from the perspective of Jews, Type 2 and Type 3 are indistinguishable from each other at first glance, and rather than try to engage and risk the emotional harm, a lot of Jews tend to write off all of them as Type 2, and there's a lot of debate on the ratios between the two.

Also worthy of mention, as a midpoint between Type 2 and Type 3 are:

Type 2.5: Openly Antisemitic "I'm Not An Antisemite, I Just Refuse To Learn, Listen, Or Let Jews Define Antisemitism"

As a midpoint between types, these Leftists openly traffic in antisemitic motifs, conspiracies, and attitudes, all the while insisting that they're not antisemitic. They're a midpoint between types 2 and 3 because they've had plenty of time and opportunity to learn about the bigoted attitudes they're espousing, but refuse to do so... but at the same time, they genuinely seem to think that they're not antisemitic. They just think that there's a vast Jewish conspiracy out to get them personally, or any of a number of other antisemitic beliefs, and refuse to accept or learn that what they're saying is antisemitic. They can believe that they themselves are not all they want, saying that Jews have too much money and power and run the world's politics is still trafficking in antisemitic conspiracy theories.

The archetypal example of this type, assuming we can take his word for it, is Roger Waters. Waters is openly and explicitly antisemitic, saying that there is a widespread conspiracy of Jews running the world's politics... but he has been insisting for over 40 years that he's just "antizionist, not antisemitic."

But these are just the outspoken ones. None of them would get anywhere without the tacit support of...

Type 4: The Silent Majority

These Leftists are, being blunt, hypocritical cowards. They don't want to get involved in issues on antisemitism. When a Leftist Jew is being harassed by one of Types 1 to 3, they don't speak up, they don't get involved, they just say nothing.

Maybe they agree with one of the above types. Maybe they just don't want to get involved. Maybe they're afraid of seeming sympathetic to Israel. Maybe they're afraid of getting the social backlash that the Jew is experiencing. But ultimately, their motivations don't matter, their actions do—and their actions give tacit social support to the antisemite in the Leftist group, not to the Jew being harassed and chased out.

And the reason they're hypocritical cowards?

Well, if your ideology claims that you want a better life for everyone and social progress and being against racism and bigotry... but yet they don't speak up when it's happening right in front of them...

Well.

That says a lot, doesn't it? Both on what their ideals actually mean to them... and how highly they value Jews. And we know that it is possible, because of...

Type 5: The Pro-Jewish Leftist

These Leftists are, in my experience, a minority outside of Leftist Jews, but they do exist among non-Jewish Leftists. They stand up to Types 1, 2, and 3 when they express antisemitic views, and try to shame and cajole Type 4 into standing up as well.

And, just to point out how normalized antisemitism is on the Left...

Some people in this category might object to being labeled as "Pro-Jewish", as if they're biased for Jews. But I have to ask... do you think that they would also object to being labeled "Pro-LGBTQ"?

#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

[eightmakesonebraincell]

ateez as pirates who fall for you (hyung line)

read maknae line here

genre: pirate!ateez x gn!reader (fem!reader for hongjoong), fluff, angst, crack, and as always - a brainrot of every pirate trope to exist

length: 10.4k

c/w: heavy and mature themes - mdni, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, illegal acts (piracy, ransoming, verbal abuse, abduction), alcohol, pet names

a/n: maknae line will come yes but who knows when 🤷‍♀️ work has been really testing my dopamine vibes this year 😔👎 thank you @sorryimananti-romantic for keeping a detailed hitlist for me ♡

hongjoong

pov: you're a royal princess rescued by him

“captain, are you sure we can’t toss her overboard?”

jongho and hongjoong watch as wooyoung’s face falls after you pointedly ignore his attempts to make conversation once again

for someone who is technically their guest aboard the arriba, it seems as though you are hellbent on being as difficult as you can be

“unfortunately, we can’t,” hongjoong grouches to the younger, “not unless we want to exchange our payment for a hefty bounty on our own heads”

when jongho sighs, the captain squeezes his shoulder in comfort and adds on, “trust me, i’ve thought about it too”

hongjoong and his crew are privateers - pirates in theory, but technically excused so long as they have their letter of marque to state that they are authorised to attack other vessels

rescuing a royal princess was never explicitly part of the contract, although he thinks that not rescuing you would have pretty much been equivalent to a blatant show of insubordination

you had been taken ransom by one of the merchant ships the arriba had been plundering

needless to say, they had been close to tossing you overboard too; your kingdom had never paid for your ransom

the lack of response from your parents wasn’t anything you weren’t expecting but it’s a sore spot nonetheless

so it’s certainly hard for you to play friendly when you’re quite literally shucked off from stranger to stranger faster than a hot potato

san tugs wooyoung closer towards him and gently says to you, “he’s just trying to be nice - we all are”

the movement doesn’t go unnoticed by you

“i don’t need your pity,” you answer, the only sentence you have spoken today

you’ve lived two decades of your life pretending you don’t see the pitying gazes of your maids and butlers

you certainly don’t need pity from these people - pirates no less

“it’s not-” wooyoung starts to say

but the captain steps in before he can defend himself

“if this is how you’re always acting, i’m starting to see why your kingdom never paid for your ransom”

had hongjoong been less preoccupied by your words, he would have realised that your tone is candid, as if it is only natural for the people around you to pity you

but he’s clouded with his mindset as captain, unable to stand by idly while his own crew put up with your attitude, and so the words come out anyway - shards of shrapnel that bury themselves into your heart

there is only a fleeting second when your eyes dilate with hurt

you conceal it immediately, replacing it with a steely gaze, yet the image has already seared itself into hongjoong’s mind

“maybe you should throw me overboard, then,” you counter, “i’m sure my family will thank you for it”

and even if you have completely neutralised your expression, no one misses the wounded tone of your voice before you disappear down into the lower deck

mingi lets out a low whistle after the resounding slam of the hatch closing

“you fucked up, captain”

hongjoong doesn’t need anyone to spell it out for him

the heavy feeling in his stomach is telling enough

it isn’t until the moon has long since risen that you emerge through the hatch again

you had bypassed the sleeping quarters to the hold, wedging yourself between barrels of grain until you were sure no one would find you

not that they would have tried to anyway - seonghwa had told them all to give you some space

you had run your finger up and down the sides of the barrels repetitively for hours on end, mind simultaneously void and filled with thoughts

the walls you had built around yourself kept you safe, but it had started to become awfully lonely after a while

when it had become a little too suffocating in the hold and you guessed that most of the crew was asleep, you had softly padded back up the stairs and across the main deck

you now sit on the foredeck where the endless expanse of the sea stretches out in front of you, closing your eyes and letting the swaying of the ship lull you into tranquillity

tonight, the moon winks down fondly upon the waters

hongjoong watches you from the quarterdeck

he’s seen you sit at the front of the ship on many nights when you should really have been asleep

he wonders if you’ve always looked so small and fragile with your knees drawn up to your chest, or whether it’s because the flash of hurt in your eyes and voice is still fresh in his mind

“go, captain,” yunho murmurs from where he’s at the helm, “it’s a quiet night”

hongjoong startles at having been caught gazing, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away

“why should i, if she’s just going to ignore me?” he scoffs

but he knows he’s just being petty at this point and his chest churns in agreement

“maybe,” yunho hums softly in response. “did seonghwa ever give up on you, though?”

it’s rhetorical - hongjoong knows the answer better than anyone

the captain doesn’t say anything but after several beats of silence, he sighs and makes a move to the foredeck where you are

yunho smiles to himself

you and hongjoong may be more similar than his captain realises

your shoulders stiffen when the sound of hongjoong’s footsteps approaches

you’re not sure what to expect and you don’t exactly want to find out and risk getting hurt

but having spent all day swimming alone in your thoughts, you do want to show that you feel apologetic because admittedly, you were being an ass too

getting up to walk away when he’s taken the first step certainly won’t help your case

you hold your breath in awkward silence as he settles down beside you, leaving a respectable distance between your hunched figures

only now is hongjoong realising that he hasn’t actually thought about or decided on what he wants to say to you

but he can feel the confusion rolling off of you in waves, so he grits his teeth and says fuck it

“i won’t apologise for defending my crew, but i’m sorry for how i did it and for what i said”

he hopes you know he is sincere when he continues, “we all have our prickly edges. i can’t fault you for yours”

compassion is a foreign concept to you and so you’re a little stumped for words

hongjoong isn’t sure whether your silence is a good or bad thing, but you have yet to stand up and walk away from the conversation

“there’s only about a week left until we reach port and we’ll leave after you make it back to your kingdom and we receive our payment. i’m not asking for you to be friendly, but let’s at least be civil with each other until then,” he says

you want to nod, agree, anything

and yet you can’t seem to make your head move or the words to come out of your mouth

rome was not built in a day. but neither did its walls fall in a day

hongjoong doesn’t push for an answer when instead, you ask, “how many people have you actually tossed overboard before?”

he resists the urge to laugh at your question, suddenly endeared by the fact that you’re still bothered by his very empty threat

“none, but my offer still stands. you’re welcome to be my first,” he deadpans

you let out a snort and although you quickly turn your head away, hongjoong sees the hint of amusement in your eyes

no further words are exchanged between the two of you and you do not acknowledge him when he eventually stands to rejoin yunho at the helm

but it’s a start

and as with any relationship, be it friend, foe, or lover, there is always that

a beginning.

hongjoong isn’t really expecting much to change immediately so he doesn’t pay you much mind when you walk into the mess hall the following morning

you hesitate at the entrance when you see most of the crew are already present, the conversation you had with hongjoong last night replaying at the forefront of your mind

you chew on the inside of your mouth

wooyoung stops mid-conversation at the scrape of a plate on the table, looking up to find you sliding into the seat beside him with a tight-lipped smile

to your surprise, he greets you with enthusiasm and immediately drags you into the conversation

hongjoong watches as you slowly warm up and add one or two comments of your own in between bites of your hardtack

and when he catches your gaze after staring for too long, he gives you a smile to convey his appreciation; to acknowledge your efforts

you return it with a small smile of your own and unbeknownst to you, it stays on your face for the rest of the day

slowly, there become more and more reasons that elicit a smile out of you

you still sit out on the foredeck when everyone else has gone to sleep, but on most nights, hongjoong will join you even if just for a while

the two of you are content to sit side by side with nothing but the steady pulse of the ocean and intermittent creaks of the ship’s hull to break the silence of the night

tonight though, you find curiosity burning through you

“what’s it like?” you ask

“being a pirate?” he clarifies

you shrug vaguely, unsure yourself either, “being a pirate. being at sea. sailing with your crew”

he takes a moment to gather his thoughts - not because he doesn’t know what to say, but because there is too much he wants to say

when hongjoong answers, his voice rumbles softly from within his chest, tender and heartfelt

“there’s a sense of freedom that you can’t obtain when you’re bound to land and society. sailing the waters, the only limits are those of the open seas and of your own compass… the sunrises, the storms, the moonlight - it all becomes part of your home”

hongjoong leans back to rest on the palms of his hands, tilting his gaze up towards the twinkling sky

he reflects, “you experience brotherhood and gain a family that is worth multitudes more than the treasures you can accumulate, even if you were to live as a pirate for several lifetimes”

you’re enraptured by his words, like poetry that swirls off the pages of a book and drifts into your very soul

“i may be the captain of this crew, but they make me who i am. without them, i am nothing”

his words wash over you and unearth vivid memories

“that’s what the queen always says to me,” you reveal

a small smile starts to grace hongjoong’s face, but it falls just as quickly when he hears your next words

“that without her - without her title - i am nothing”

it’s funny, how the same phrase can hold such different meanings; can evoke such different emotions

you don’t elaborate any further, but hongjoong doesn’t think he needs you to in order for him to understand

he just wishes he had more time to show you that your mother is wrong

he can’t though

tomorrow they reach port and you will return to your rightful place in the palace

“tell me more about your crew,” you attempt to change the topic, “how did you all find each other?”

so hongjoong tells you

he talks for hours and hours and you listen all the while with a heavy heart, clinging onto his every word

on your final night, you two stay like that until the stars disappear and the horizon becomes streaked with the pale hues of sunrise

after the ship docks mere hours later, only hongjoong accompanies you to your kingdom after goodbyes are exchanged

wooyoung doesn’t take it well, and you find yourself holding back tears of your own as you are let through the palace doors with the captain by your side

but you blink them away when you approach the throne room because vulnerability is not an emotion you are willing to display

“y/n”

the queen addresses you curtly when you enter, and hongjoong wonders for a split second whether he has brought you back to the wrong kingdom

he knows your mother does not treat you fondly, but it’s still staggering to see it before his very own eyes

the monarch glances distastefully over him before her eyes flicker back to you

“i did not expect your return,” she states

your eyes remain impassive as you merely answer, “neither am i delighted to be back”

hongjoong recognises this look

he’s seen it when you first boarded his ship; he’s seen it when your hackles were raised

he’s seen it in himself, when he had been a teenager filled with nothing but growing resentment, before he had met seonghwa

your mother sneers, “then you should have made yourself useful and stayed with the pirates. as a whore or a dog, whatever it took.”

hongjoong has understood you since learning of your demons, but right now, he is you

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, standing before a couple who are his parents only by title

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, who doesn’t know what he has done that deems him undeserving of love

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, all alone with no one to take his hand

“or really, you should have died on the ship”

hongjoong is close enough to you to hear the small hitch in your breath at your mother’s final jab

he may not have had someone to save his younger self, but he can do that now

he can be the person he so desperately needed years ago

and so he does just that.

hongjoong grabs your hand and drags you out of the palace

no one stops the two of you from leaving and he is unsure whether his heart hurts for you or sings with relief

you can only stutter in shock as you try to keep up, “hongjoong, what about your payment?”

his determined steps do not slow down, even as he looks back at you with a sure smile, “i told you before. some things are worth more than money”

the comforting squeeze of his hand conveys that you are worth more than any amount of money

the form of the arriba grows bigger in the distance and you think you can see the movement of excitement on deck when the crew spots your figures

hongjoong has slowed down his steps, but he has yet to let go of your hand

“and you deserve to know that. welcome to the crew, y/n”

to a family and love that you never had

you think you like the sound of that

“thank you, captain”

seonghwa

pov: you're a royal navy officer in disguise

you lay awake in your hammock, listening to the soft snores of the crew members around you

sleep doesn’t come easy to you anymore

particularly tonight

you contemplate whether it’s worth the risk to simply not show up

you know what the consequences are if they capture you - a slow and painful death - but you’re unsure whether you want to put ateez on the line too

your ship is currently docked for the night, having made a port stop at alcarres following one of the crew’s wishes to retire the pirate lifestyle and settle in the small town

their last night with ateez had been celebrated with sloshing rum and rowdy jigs, something you had found strange

there’s none of that in the royal navy

when one leaves, it is shameful and through one of three options only; old age, crippling injury, or…death

you had asked seonghwa, the quartermaster, why he and the captain were so accepting when crew members left as they wished

he had simply smiled and answered, “better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew”

his words are like a sharp stone in your shoe as you finally slip out of your hammock and make your way off the ship

as ordered, you head to the tavern addressed

you salute the person in front of you and ease into your seat with a formality only when he disregards you

“admiral jang”

“you’re late,” the royal navy officer raises an eyebrow

“sorry, sir. i had to make sure everyone was asleep”

it’s not exactly the truth, but no one needs to know that you had spent an hour in your hammock questioning your morality

he ignores your excuse, jesting as he asks of your captain, “has the pirate king found the chart’s whereabouts yet?”

the charts

centuries ago, a crew of experienced sailors had travelled the six great seas and created the original navigational charts

the charts had become scattered and lost over time, but its value only increased exponentially as more and more sailors became victims to the sea trying to map its waters to the same detail and accuracy as the original charts

of the six originals, only the whereabouts of five are known, with most of them within the possession of the royal navy

it’s rumoured that hongjoong - the pirate king - has his hands on two of them and is currently tracking down the lost chart of the aurorian sea

the only sea that has yet to be chartered after its original map due to its dangerous and unpredictable sailing conditions

you know that your next words can hold an inexplicable amount of possibilities

“not yet. the last lead didn’t get him anywhere. turned out the last of the ahn clan had passed a decade ago”

his lips flatten at the lack of worthwhile information

“where’s the captain headed to next, then?” he probes

for a split second, the thought of lying crosses your mind

you can’t provide a different location - it would be much too obvious and would raise immediate suspicions

but you could give him a different time frame

after all, it’s not uncommon for navigational routes to be one to two weeks off should the waters be unpredictable enough

you find the truth spilling out of you anyway once you’re looking into his stone-cold eyes

“vlasgar. in about three weeks’ time”

for a moment, time stands still as your heart pounds and you attempt to slow your breathing, the officer staring back at you calculatingly

then he finally hums in satisfaction

you think that he is going to dismiss you, but as you make a move to leave, he leans back in his seat

the split second of hesitation was enough

“remember where your loyalty lies, y/n”

the air feels cold with the underlying threat

seonghwa’s words flit through your mind

better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew

you swallow, “of course, admiral”

and then you’re dismissed with a nod

the unsettling feeling follows you all the way back to the ship and every miniscule creak of the floorboards underneath you seems to be amplified in the silence

you let out a short gasp of surprise when you’re about to climb back into your hammock, only to see seonghwa blinking blearily at you

“couldn’t sleep ‘gain?” he mumbles

you choke out a response, “yeah”

“i’ll make you tea b’fore you sleep ‘morrow,” his words slur with sleepiness

“okay,” you whisper

but you know it won’t make a difference

after all, there’s no remedy for guilt

it continues to fester the next day, as you linger outside the captain’s quarters

you can’t remember why you had come down to the lower deck, but it doesn’t matter now, not with seonghwa and the captain discussing what you think is related to the aurorian chart

“do you think he’s still in vlasgar?”

“min taesoo? it’s hard to say. but i’m sure he’ll have acquaintances still on the island who may have an idea of where he’s gone”

min taesoo

your brain tries to carefully file the name away, knowing that it’s what admiral jang would want to know, but at the same time, your heart tries to pretend it doesn’t know what you have heard so that you can forget about it

you find yourself scratching the name onto a scrap of paper anyway

unbeknownst to you, at the almost-imperceivable sound of your footsteps walking away, the two men behind the doors share a look

the crew sets sail again in the afternoon towards the next destination - vlasgar - and the scrap of paper in your pocket weighs you down so heavily that you feel off-kilter as you absentmindedly follow jongho up into the rigging to unfurl the sails

you’re near the top of the ropes when a sudden wave lurches the boat to starboard

it’s only a small push, really, but with your mind elsewhere, it catches you off guard and you miss your next step

the feeling of your hand dislodging from the sudden drag of your body weight brings you back to the present with a yell of surprise

(whether it’s your own or jongho’s, you can’t remember)

your sailing experience takes over and you try to swing your body back towards the safety of the rigging

you barely manage to grasp the ropes again but your hands slip down with your weight until they hit the next knot, the hot rush of friction threatening your grip

with adrenaline rushing through your body, you shakily climb back down, where there are several pairs of hands waiting to help you down the rest of the rigging

seonghwa’s hands do not leave you even after your feet are planted on the deck again

dread and shame heat the back of your neck and curl around onto your cheeks, knowing that a mistake like the one you had just made - accidental or not - would lead to a punishment like confinement in the lower deck back in the royal navy

except, when an apology starts to form on your lips, seonghwa bursts out in dismay

“y/n, your hands!”

you let out an unintelligible noise as seonghwa gently turns your palms over and you realise that the ropes have grazed some of the skin off

“it’s fine,” you want to say

but you’re silenced when he leads you to the small sick bay on the orlop deck

even if there is no surgeon on board, there is a small chest fastened to the wall that is home to their few and valuable medical supplies

you sit as he fusses over you with alcohol and strips of cloth

although he does a good job of wrapping your hands, your insides start to bleed with how intensely guilt eats away at you, like a maggot deep inside the core of a festering apple

that night as you shuffle towards your hammock to sleep, you flinch when you find seonghwa already sitting in his

he’s fighting the heaviness in his eyes as he carefully cradles something

upon seeing you, he wordlessly hands it to you with a sleepy smile before he finally sags into his own hammock with a content sigh

you look down and the warmth of it seems to burn through the padded dressing that the man before you has tenderly wrapped around your palms

the sensation travels upwards to burn your heart too

because in your hands is a cup of warm chamomile tea

and yet, despite the emptied cup, you find yourself unable to fall asleep

but in the darkness of the sky, with no witnesses other than the waves and sea foam themselves, a small piece of crumpled paper gets tossed overboard that night

the closer their ship approaches vlasgar, the more distant seonghwa notices you become

he worries

seonghwa thinks he worries for the reasons that he should be

he is the quartermaster; entrusted to protect the crew as the captain’s right-hand man

if that means ensuring no one will compromise the rest of his crew, even if it’s you, then so be it

that’s what he justifies to himself as he walks through the cobbled streets of vlasgar, slinking through the shadows as he follows your figure from a safe distance

(in reality, seonghwa worries for the reasons that he is not quite ready to admit yet)

he follows you into the dim bar of a tavern and carefully situates himself where he can watch over you without being discovered

he orders a mug of common ale as you approach someone

the man is dressed in civilian attire, but seonghwa can tell straight away from his demeanour and expression that he is not as ordinary as he appears

it’s confirmed when he hears you say, “admiral jang”

and then he sees it

the small but striking lapel pin on the breast of the man’s coat - the royal navy’s insignia

seonghwa feels for the sash that’s hidden underneath his own jacket and his fingertips meet the cool metal of the pistol tied inside

“you better have updates for me, y/n. what’s the pirate king’s purpose here in vlasgar?”

seonghwa knows he only has about five seconds to make a decision - one that could jeopardise the crew, or one that could jeopardise you

but you surprise yourself and the both of them when you answer steadfastly, “i don’t know, sir”

despite the din of drunker patrons in the tavern, it seems to fall deathly silent

“am i hearing wrong, officer?” the admiral questions with a disbelieving scoff

to your credit, your voice does not waver when you state again, “no, sir. i believe the captain and quartermaster are lying low. they have not revealed anything to me nor the rest of the crew”

seonghwa suddenly understands why you have distanced yourself

the admiral’s jaw tics

“is that so.”

you do not respond, only focusing on the spot between his raised eyebrows as he leans forward across the table

“where does your loyalty lie, y/n?”

neither the admiral nor seonghwa need to hear your answer to know the truth

a small crew may be outnumbered, but they have strength in loyalty and devotion

there’s a glint of movement from underneath the table as the admiral inches something out from his belt

seonghwa makes his decision

you flinch, eyes wide as there’s a deafening gunshot and the table beside you splinters and scatters the tankards of alcohol onto the floor

instantaneously, chaos erupts

there are drunken yells of fright and weapons clumsily brandished, tables upturned and chairs hurled across the room

it only takes one other misfired shot for the tavern to descend into hellfire as customers who were previously drinking together now turn on one another

nobody notices the two pirates dashing out, not even admiral jang, who is busy wrangling two inebriated men off his arms

your composure dissolves the moment you are dragged into an alleyway several streets away and you look up in shock to discover-

“seonghwa?! why are you here?”

“i could say the same about you,” he counters, hardly out of breath

you’re stunned by the fact that he seems completely unfazed by the mess that he has just dragged you out of

something clicks

“was that you? did you know all along?”

seonghwa smiles, “let’s just say you’re not as subtle as you think you are when you sneak around. plus, it’s uncommon for sailors to have the experience that you do without having had some sort of training”

you curse under your breath and wince, “does hongjoong know too?”

the quartermaster nods and you fear the answer to your next question

“then why has he not…why have you not…”

“killed you yet?” seonghwa chuckles. “i’m sure you’ve realised by now how skewed the royal navy’s beliefs are”

you’re quiet

the royal navy has always been cult-like in preaching the ruthlessness and barbarism of pirates, drilling into the officers the belief that pirates are the scum of the sea

but everything that you’ve known has been proven false since you’ve joined ateez; ironically, the pirates are more humane than the royal navy themself

their crew stand at attention whenever hongjoong or seonghwa walk onto the deck - not out of cultivated fear but genuine respect

when jongho is sore and tired from handling the riggings on a particularly rough and windy day, the others will offer to cover for his chores instead of flogging him into submission

and when mingi is divvying up the shares of the provisions and loot, the others will slip an extra bar of soap for seonghwa, the shiniest ring for mingi, or the largest bottle of rum for yunho, because they want to make each other happy

“hongjoong is the pirate king, yes, but a king should not take the lives of others for his own power. a true king uses his power to change the lives of others for the better…like yours…and like mine”

you frown with a jerk of your head

“what do you mean?”

you can’t see seonghwa as a broken man whatsoever

he gives you a weak smile, “i, too, used to be part of the royal navy”

your jaw drops

everything clicks into place - how he had figured out you weren’t just a common sailor and why he hadn’t confronted you about it

the shame and guilt come rushing back over you in a storm that is much too familiar by now

“i’m so sorry, all i’ve done is betray your trust-”

“but that’s what second chances are for, no?” seonghwa cuts you off, playfully flicking your forehead as he reminds you, “and i’m pretty sure you’ve chosen me over the royal navy”

your cheeks grow hot

“not you. the crew,” you mutter

he laughs and it’s a wonderful sound

“come on, it’s late,” seonghwa beckons. “let’s get some sleep”

when he sees that you’re still rooted to the spot, unsure whether you are deserving to go back, he decides for you and moves behind you to gently nudge you forward by the shoulders

you let him guide you

his hands are warm, you note, even through the linen of your shirt

his hands are also pretty, you observe, when he tries to fluff your hammock once you two have crept your way back to the berth

seonghwa helps you up into the hammock and you watch as he climbs into his

his hands are also teeming with love, you realise, when he wordlessly extends his arm nearest to you in a silent invitation

if you both reach out, you can just entwine your hands together from your respective hammocks

the burns on your palms have healed nicely and without the need for them to be wrapped, you can feel every expanse of his hand covering yours

he doesn’t retract his hand and neither do you, even though it’s not the most comfortable position and you both lose feeling of your arms soon after

but you lay in your hammock, drifting to the soft snores of the crew members around you and the soft tug of seonghwa’s fingers in yours

sleep comes easy to you

particularly tonight

as it will for the rest of your life

yunho

pov: you're the crew's navigator

you know it’s going to happen even before it actually does

you can feel it in the air and from the way the baby hairs around your hairline start to frizz

but you never say anything because you wouldn’t trade it for the moment when the first raindrop hits the back of yunho’s neck and he abandons his duty at the helm to drag you out onto the upper deck

(hongjoong only sighs in defeat before he stations himself at the helm instead)

you don’t like the rain

not like yunho does

you are already looking up from the map spread out in the captain’s quarters, a knowing smile on your face just from the sound of his bounding footsteps alerting you of his presence, when yunho appears with the beckon of rain

you pretend to let yourself be dragged to your feet along to his urges of come on!

but then you dash forward towards the hatch with yunho chasing after your bright laughter

in the short span of time that it has taken him to fetch you, the sprinkle of rain has steadily grown and the weathered planks of the deck are already a dark grey

you feel the coldness of the raindrops hitting the crown of your head and the spreading chill as your clothes start to become damp

but that’s not what makes you feel alive

yunho catches up to you easily and then he is snaking his arms around your waist to lift you up into the air

you barely have time to squeal and steady yourself on his broad shoulders before he is spinning the two of you around, the world blurring away as the spotlight shines on him and he is all that you can see

the deck is your stage and the sea is your audience

rain with yunho is twirling hugs, tiptoed kisses and tinkling laughter. it’s soaked shirts and rosy cheeks and the only thing that matters in the moment

you don’t like the rain, but it’s easy to like the rain when it’s with him

(hongjoong lets the two of you be - so obviously and hopelessly enamoured by each other - because when one sees people in love, one cannot help but watch and smile)

the rain eventually peters out and you and yunho must return to your respective duties, but not until you two have changed out of your drenched clothes and sneaked in a few more kisses

a few hours later, you hear the racket above the deck as a ship pulls up beside the arriba and ropes are thrown across from both sides to lash the vessels close together

hongjoong comes down to join you in his quarters, but he’s not alone

behind him is the captain of the silver light, dae jihoo, and his quartermaster, with seonghwa entering last

you note that this crew doesn’t have a navigator of their own

but you suppose that’s one of the reasons why their captain had implored an alliance for this particular raid

the crew of the silver light are wanting to target the prosperity triangle - an area between three large ports that is frequently trafficked by wealthy vessels transporting valuable goods

it’s a raid that would prove difficult for a smaller pirate crew like your own and the silver light, and especially if they have no navigator

but it’s not uncommon for pirates to form temporary alliances for such purposes, and together, your crews have a good chance of plundering a fortune

you nod your head in acknowledgement when hongjoong introduces you to the two pirates as ateez’s navigator

you don’t miss the way jihoo’s eyes seem to linger on you for a second too long before he flashes a crooked grin and gestures towards the navigational map spread out on the oak table

clearing your throat of discomfort, you step forward and flatten the creases out with your hands

“this is the most open spot within the triangle that the vessel we’re after will pass through,” you tap an annotated spot on the chart, “and this is where we are now”

you slide your finger across, “we’ll follow the rhumb line west to avoid the shallower waters and when we can catch the trade winds, it should be smooth sailing from there”

jihoo challenges you, “how can you be sure we’ll catch the ship within the triangle?”

“they’ll need to sail past the equator and i’m almost certain their ship will be slowed down by the doldrums. we can easily gain knots on them”

he squints at the scribbles you’ve made noting down what you’ve gathered of the wind patterns

you know for a fact that it will mean nothing to him, but whatever he sees must satisfy him because jihoo appears to make up his mind

“when do we set sail?” he directs his question to your captain

“three days from now”

he grunts a noise of affirmation and stands, which hongjoong takes as the cue to see them and the rest of their crew off your ship

you trail behind the group as you all head back to the upper deck

you prepare to emerge from the hatch with a playful wink, knowing that yunho will be craning his neck from the helm to get a glimpse of you, when a sudden holler surprises you out of your thoughts

it’s immediately met with the answering cries of several other pirates - none from your crew - and you hurry to clear the hatch to gain your bearings

you’re thrust right into the throes of battle as ateez are forced to unsheathe their cutlasses to defend against silver light’s sudden attack

having been caught off guard, basically none of your firearms are loaded with gunpowder, rendering them unusable

you will have to make do with the short sabre at your waist

there’s no time to account for the whereabouts and safety of your crew members and you just have to pray that you all make it out of this unscathed

especially yunho

but as ateez retaliate, you all notice something is off about the situation

your crew is very quickly overpowering the other pirates - it was a losing fight for them from the very beginning

it makes no sense to you nor the rest of your crew

the losses of breaking the alliance before the planned raid, much less through betrayal, far outweigh any gains they could possibly make from their choice of action

it makes absolutely no sense

until it does.

you are blocking the swing of a sabre with your own when you are tugged backwards harshly by the collar of your shirt

there’s an angry snarl in your throat as you prepare to turn around, but it’s quickly silenced by the warning shot of a pistol right beside your ear

the cold ring of metal is then pressed to the back of your head

you know that firearms require time to reload and there’s a chance that this pistol is now useless

but, like wooyoung has taught the rest of the crew to do, they may have pre-prepared several pistols and you are not willing to play with fire - especially when you are only the flex of a finger away from death

you vaguely hear someone yell out your name in panic, but you’re not quite sure you hear correctly over the clamour of cutlasses clashing, warcries resounding and your own heartbeat pounding

“stand down or your navigator dies,” the voice behind you thunders

it’s jihoo…and he wants a navigator for his crew

“ateez,” one of your men commands, “lower your weapons”

your crew may make decisions fairly, but in battle, only hongjoong has the power to make commands

yunho has never spoken against his captain or disobeyed orders

until now

the words do not come out of your captain’s mouth but yunho’s

the rest of the members hesitate - they will not stand down unless hongjoong commands them to, yet, they are unsure whether they will be able to follow should he demand them to fight on, even if it means endangering your life

but there is no guarantee jihoo will let your crew go unharmed even after you all surrender, and as the captain, hongjoong must make decisions in the best interest for the crew

“captain!” yunho yells desperately

yunho never yells

“stand down,” hongjoong commands

silver light’s captain steps in closer behind you until you can hear and feel the noise of intriguement that leaves his mouth down the back of your neck

“that your loverboy, hmm?”

he smirks

there’s a false moment of primal relief when the press of the pistol is removed from the back of your head, but it is immediately replaced with fear that is irrevocably worse as he aims it in yunho’s direction and shoots

“no!”

you shriek and pull against the tug of his hold, still fisted around your collar, your pupils blown wide with terror at the sight of the clean hole in the mast right beside yunho’s head

“it’ll be pretty boy’s head next if you don’t come with me,” jihoo coos into your ear

the fight slips out of you immediately

because if you can save him, a life for a life, then you will

even if the sight of mingi holding yunho back from lunging forward when the pistol’s barrel returns to your head makes your heart clench painfully

“y/n, don’t you dare,” yunho pleads, voice filled with anguish

you’re barely given enough time to lock eyes with him and say resolutely, “remember what you said to me,” before you are tugged away to the boarding plank

ateez can only watch helplessly as the planks are removed from over the bulwarks and the last of the ropes are untied, releasing the silver light from their ship for good

jihoo tugs you down the hatch as the ship starts to pull away, and just like that, you’re gone from their sights

“fuck!” yunho shouts furiously, unable to contain his emotions as he turns around and connects his fist with the mast

right where the musket ball had made a hole

his hand pulls away with bloodied knuckles from the splintered wood and the sheer force of his punch

a concerned whine leaves seonghwa’s mouth and he tries to approach the taller, but yunho shakes him off and looks determinedly at hongjoong

“we’re sailing to the banver isle just east of the triangle. we’ll ambush them there”

seonghwa looks between the two, hope flickering in his chest at the potential plan, “you think the silver light are stupid enough to try taking on the prosperity triangle alone?”

yunho chuckles darkly, “they were fucking shitbrained enough to take y/n, so yes”

nobody disagrees and hongjoong smirks dangerously

“ateez, ready the sails for banver isle,” he commands. “prepare for battle”

because not only have the silver light taken you away from ateez, but they have also annihilated the light from yunho’s eyes

gone are his warm brown orbs - they are now black holes thirsty for retribution

there will be lives to pay and even that will not be enough for the void

unaware of what your crew is capable of, jihoo looks down at you with a triumphant leer

“you’ll navigate us to the triangle in three days’ time. don’t even think about lying - you’ve already shown me where the location is”

with an even nod you reply, “of course”

it’s true though - you have absolutely no intention of navigating them somewhere else

because you know yunho will be waiting there for you

amidst chaste kisses exchanged between plush lips cold from the rain, yunho tells you in a brief moment of seriousness

“don’t show them where the real location is,” his breath is warm across your cheeks. “you know the coastal island roughly ten nautical miles away? show them that instead”

you tilt your head to look up at him, “you think they’ll betray us?”

“no,” he reassures you with a deeper, slower kiss, “but we can never be too safe”

and even if your vessels miss each other this time, you have complete faith that yunho will sail to the very ends of the world just to find you

two days before the originally-planned raid, the arriba sails as closely to banver isle as possible without risking running aground

yunho has navigated the ship around the back of the isle so that the form of the rocky terrain conceals them from sight

once the anchor is lowered, the crew members use every ticking moment to make preparations

swords are sharpened and firearms cleaned

mingi distributes the gunpowder and ammunition, which is pre-loaded into muskets, pistols and swivel cannons ready to be engaged

the ship’s sails and riggings are checked and yeosang keeps a keen lookout in the crow’s nest

and it’s as if the world itself can sense the brewing storm that grows inside yunho

the sea is eerily still and silent, but the sky is an omen to something impending, its rolling clouds dark and angry with the threat of rain leering over the waters

yunho doesn’t actually like the rain

he only likes it because it’s with you

rain with you is barefoot dancing, breathless confessions and bashful giggles. it’s drenched locks and fluttering eyelashes and the only thing that exists in the moment

but as the profile of the silver light finally approaches the isle two days later, the heavens split open and you are not by his side

rain without you is falling pinpricks, frigid winds and flaunting mockery and yunho despises it with his entire being

at yeosang’s call of, “vessel approaching from starboard,” up in the lookout, yunho smothers the fervid desire to barrage the other ship with cannonballs like hail from hell; to unleash an inferno that blazes through their hull as he sadistically watches the crew jump for their lives

he stamps out the hunger to shoot the ones that make it into the sea, not to kill, only to maim and induce a long, painful struggle in the open waters until death becomes inevitable - until there is enough blood spilt that it becomes the only stench in the air that stretches across for miles

yunho leashes his monsters with an iron fist

because he will not do anything that could even remotely endanger your life

even if it means that he has to hold back - to sit and wait like prey instead of advancing on the other ship like a predator

at least not yet.

silver light do not know, but this is the calm before the storm

the heavens may be crying, the winds may be howling and the waters may be roiling

but this is nothing compared to yunho

yunho is a tempest of unparalleled rage and their ship is in the eye of his storm

as the bowsprit of the silver light starts to appear around the isle, the members ready their grappling hooks and yunho draws his cutlass with a menacing whisper of unsheathing metal

you are his treasure, and pirates never lose sight of their treasure

today…you return to him

yeosang

pov: you're a tavern keeper

watching the ale reach the brim of the tankard you are holding, you’re about to step away from the barrel when the voice of a patron sounds behind you

“‘scuse me, could i get a mint-”

you look up and turn around in confusion as their voice cuts off

only to have the question taken right from the tip of your own tongue as you’re met with the face of the person you had loved for years

the same person you have spent twice as long trying to forget

eyes searching each other’s in a surprised stupor, seeing kang yeosang standing right in front of you takes you back to those memories that you have tried to remember and simultaneously bury

it thrusts you headfirst into what used to be of your shared love - like the feathery remnants of a dream, so distant from the fingers of your consciousness, suddenly returning to vivid existence when you least expect it

“hey, mint leaf. i’m back”

yeosang at least has the perceptiveness to appear a little apologetic, immediately pulling you into a hug and pressing soft kisses against your hairline uncaring of the other people in the tavern

it’s been several weeks since you last saw him, and whilst he had warned you he would be gone for longer this time, you hadn’t expected it to mean two whole months

he’s a small merchant who also fishes along the coast to earn enough to make ends meets, so he’s often gone for a few days or a week or two

you knew what you were in for when you first made it official with him, but just because you become accustomed to something, doesn’t mean it gets any easier

and he’s never been gone for this long

something must have happened - something good - because he looks alive, cheeks glowing and eyes fiery

“i met the crew”

“the crew?” you ask, hands reaching for the bourbon to prepare him a drink as he lets himself behind the counter to stand beside you in your workspace

he nods excitedly, "wooyoung’s pirate crew, ateez"

you think you know where this is going to go and you hate that your stomach sinks at the thought of what your future may become, because yeosang looks so happy to tell you about this and a happy yeosang is all that you could ask for

“the captain offered me a position as their lookout”

you pick out your next words carefully as you hand him his finished drink - a mint julep with two sugar cubes, just the way he likes it

"aren't…isn't being a pirate dangerous?"

“not as dangerous as you might think, actually. they’ve been showing me the ropes the last couple of weeks and…and i think i want to join them. officially”

there it is

the forked end of the road

you wonder how far two people can keep walking with their hands intertwined before the distance becomes too great and they have to let go

his words become a little muddled when he goes on to tell you about how they divvied up their recent loot to include his share too

how he’s gained more money than he’s made from the last two years of working as a merchant and fisherman combined

if he joins his old friend and his crew, he could earn enough to buy his parents a proper house; earn enough to build you your very own tavern

you want to tell him that you don’t need the tavern, just him, but you also know just how important his family is to him

his filial desire to take care of his parents was one of the very reasons you fell in love with him in the first place

before you can say anything though, the tavern keeper is interrupting to let you know that your shift is over

yeosang immediately perks up and herds you out of the place, claiming that there is a new fishing spot he discovered that he has to show you

and so you sit while he rows his modest boat, only the splash of his oars disturbing the peaceful stillness that has settled over the waters as the sun dips below the horizon

the waning light casts a soft, warm glow over him, like a gentle kiss against his skin and birthmark

if angels graced the earth, there would be one sitting right in front of you

“i missed you, mint leaf,” he confesses, gaze shyly averted. “i thought about you when i was gone”

“did you think about showing me this place?” you feel a little breathless

he nods, “every single night”

and that’s enough for you

it feels like everything is okay again

it doesn’t matter if you’re standing at a forked road

you think that perhaps, for him, you can walk on an unpaved path - just so that you can keep holding his hand

“y/n”

yeosang’s voice is deep

the word sounds foreign to your own ears but you don’t dwell on it

(because if you do, you’ll wonder whether it’s because you’ve forgotten the sound of his voice or because you want to hear him calling you something else)

“what would you like to order?” you ask

(because it’s easier to pretend that he’s just another patron than to admit that he used to be all that you ever knew)

yeosang fumbles a little but then regains himself, “oh, um- just a mint julep, please”

you turn your back to him to prepare his drink, hands reaching for the barrels lined along the bottom shelves without needing to look

you’ve made this drink too many times to count

half of those times were in the safety of the darkness that midnight offered; when the tears could flow freely without anyone seeing

it’s only when you start to mix his cocktail that yeosang realises he didn’t ask for his sugar cubes, but he figures the drink will taste bitter tonight either way so he opts to watch you instead

he wishes that he could walk past the counter like he used to and wrap his arms around you

he wishes that he could whisper endearments into your ears and press them against your lips

he wishes that he could show you that he still loves you

“do you still love me?” your voice wavers with hurt as you stand in front of him

he’s finally back after being gone for four months this time and you hate this conversation as much as he does, but it was bound to happen eventually

yeosang pleads, “more than anything”

“then why does it hurt so much? loving you…and being loved by you”

he doesn’t have an answer

but god be damned if he doesn’t try to find a way to fix things

“tell me, mint leaf, what can i do?”

you blink back your tears furiously, having already made up your mind while he was still at sea

“let’s break up”

because in the end, unpaved paths have too many rocks, too many thorns and too many arched roots; they were never meant to be walked along

you pass yeosang his finished drink without another word and then move further down the counter to serve a different customer

his eyes linger on you wistfully before he tears them away from you

it’s a good thing his hair has grown long enough to cover his face when he looks down

because his eyes start to grow wet at the sight of the mint julep you have made him

with two sugar cubes in it, just the way he likes it

perhaps, once you’ve loved somebody, you never really stop loving them

yeosang shows up again the next day and seats himself at the bar

you don’t serve him though, actively avoiding his end of the counter and letting another of your staff tend to him

he orders his usual but he leaves out his request for additional sugar cubes

it feels wrong for him to order it from someone that isn’t you

but you’re watching out of the corner of your eye as the worker mixes the bourbon, sugar and water, topping it with a few mint leaves and then sliding it across the counter for him

you let out a little sigh, half amused, when he takes a small sip and smacks his lips together at the bitterness

you take two sugar cubes and drop it unceremoniously into his pewter cup before you realise what you’re doing

yeosang immediately seizes the opportunity to talk to you

“my crew’s docked for the fortnight…” he waits to see if you’ll respond. you don’t, but you also don’t move away, so he continues. “we’re making some repairs to the hull and sails before our next raid”

you have half a mind to walk away after you reply, “i didn’t ask” 

he forges on regardless

“we’re going to work with another crew for this one. it’s going to increase our chances of a successful raid because-”

your voice comes out a little harsher than you mean for it to when you hiss again, “i didn’t ask”

yeosang’s mouth closes as he pulls away slightly, back straightening

then he says in a softer voice, “i’ve been doing well. wooyoung still takes care of me, even though i’m not new to the crew anymore. i also saw my parents today and they’re happily retired now…”

you don’t stop him from talking this time

because how many sleepless nights have you spent sitting outside your tavern looking up at the stars; how many times have you served a mint julep to a patron and accidentally added sugar cubes; how many moments have you been consumed by the thought of him, simply wondering if he is living well?

this is everything that you have ever wanted - yeosang in the flesh letting you know that, yes, he has been well

but it is also everything that you have ever feared - that he has been well even without you

you don’t know what to feel

“my parents asked about you,” he says gingerly. “how have you been?”

his voice is barely audible, as if he is afraid of what you might say

or perhaps, afraid that you might not say anything at all

“good. excellent,” you force a small smile, your eyes still focused on the mint leaves floating in his drink. you don’t think you can look at him. “i own this place now”

his body loses its tension, cheeks rounding as he looks at you with genuine relief

“that’s…that’s really good to hear”

his words sting

you are unsure if it stings your ego or if it picks at the wound in the shape of the person you have lost

but it hurts to know that he has worried over you in the exact same way you have over him, the whole time you two have been apart

you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation and hot tears well in your eyes almost immediately

your bottom lip starts to crumple so you rush into the back room to escape

“y/n!” yeosang calls out after you, alarmed

when you don’t stop, disappearing into the storage, he jolts up from his seat and follows

your body shudders with every heaving breath you take, unable to stop yourself from crying even harder when you feel him tug you into his chest

you try to pull away but his sturdy arms tighten around you

yeosang refuses to let you go once more

“i hate you,” you sob, struggling against his hold as you hit his chest weakly

he hushes comforts against the crown of your head, soothing noises as he endures your fists

“you have every reason to”

yeosang holds back tears of his own

he feels your body gradually losing its fight, sinking into his embrace instead, hands desperately holding him close

your voice is so impossibly small when you tearfully confess, “but i still love you”

“oh, mint leaf,” he brushes the stray locks of hair away from your face and cradles your jaw tenderly, “i still love you, too”

he presses a soft kiss against your forehead, pulling away once only to reaffirm, “so, so much”

when he kisses you again, his lips taste salty against your own, but nothing has ever tasted sweeter than this

your breath no longer stutters but the tears continue to run down your face because your heart finally feels right after all these years apart

and yet-

you pull away

“we can’t do this”

yeosang feels his heart shattering

“why not? i don’t understand,” he whimpers

“you know why,” you say distressingly, “my life is here, yeosang. i can’t just leave and return whenever i want. but you, on the other hand? you can. you go where your crew goes - you belong with them”

“but my heart belongs to you. please, y/n,” he begs

his arms are still wrapped around you and you feel his desperation as his fingers cling onto you like a lifeline

you look earnestly into his bloodshot eyes, your own vision blurry, “yeo, you’re not the one who gets left behind here. you’re not the one who waits weeks, months, years on end, just hoping that the next person to walk in is the person that you want to see”

he wants to plead that he waits to see you, too, but he knows that he’s the one who leaves, too

“you’re the right one for me - the only one for me - but it’s not the right time,” you tell him gently

slowly, his arms lower themselves from around you

“it wasn’t the right time then and it isn’t the right time now,” he repeats, “then when is the right time for us?”

you shoot the question right back at him, “when is the right time for someone whose life is to sail the world?”

neither of you know the answer

nobody does, because loving a pirate has no certainties

but yeosang doesn’t give up

“if we can’t ever be sure, why don’t we just make it the right time ourselves?”

you caress his cheek sweetly, and despite having stepped away from you earlier, he leans into your hand, starved of your loving touch and affection

“yeosang…what if we’ve already had it? what if…meeting each other was already it? what if we’re just meant to love from a distance, not side by side?” your voice is poignant but resolute

he brings up a hand to cover yours, still warm and tender against his wet cheek

how is it that he can be touching you yet simultaneously feel worlds apart from you

“okay,” he accepts with a whisper

if loving you silently is the only way he gets to love you, then he will choose it in a heartbeat over losing you entirely

he thumbs away the remainder of your tears

“can i kiss you? one last time?” he asks

you nod

“one last time”

your lips slowly meet, slotting together as they find their home in each other’s dips and curves

his hands cradle the small of your back and neck and your own hands rest against his chest

the kiss you share is steady, longing and bittersweet

it conveys everything that you want to say to each other, and even then, it is hardly enough

thank you

i’m sorry

i love you

goodbye…

you can feel your eyes burning up again, but you focus on the feeling of yeosang’s lips against yours instead

because you know that the moment one of you pulls away, that is it forever

in the world of love, there are people who are ill-fated

they meet the right person, but at the wrong time

and then there are people like you and yeosang

not ill-fated, but star-crossed lovers

the right person…

but just not meant to be

#loren writes #ateez fics #ateez fic #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong scenarios #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa scenarios #yunho x reader #yunho scenarios #yeosang x reader #yeosang scenarios #ateez ot8 x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons #ateez au #pirate ateez #pirate!ateez #pirateez #ateez crack

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

That's My Wife - LN

Summary: Lando gets into a new relationship and gets caught in a clip call her his "wife" which earns a stupidly explosive reaction from F1 media and fans online. In an attempt to distract his girlfriend from the negative attention, he tries to get her to try something new.

Literally when I started writing this someone sent in a request asking for something scarily similar so one of us is ahead of the game with each other. But she asked for a stream fic, and this isnt' going to be that so if you're the person who literally just requested then this isn't the request but...scarily similar.

Themes: Smut (unprotected, as usual but like I do not promote it): face-sitting (honestly I'm just throwing a bit of smut in everything because...why tf not?), soft-dom!Lando (he's returned! but did he ever leave?)

I'll shut up now. Enjoy (or don't, maybe you'll hate it)

Lando just about frolics over to his girlfriend as she stands waiting for him in parc ferme ahead of the podiums since Lando unsurprisingly made it up onto the podium. Though as he nears his team get over excited and nudge her to the side.

"Hey, watch it. That's my wife." Lando jokes not realising Sky managed to pick up on the audio of his words as he gently holds her arms. "Are you ok?"

"I'm good, you did so good!" Y/n beams completely unbothered over being nudged, after all there was no harm meant in it.

"Yeah, celebrations with you later." Lando smirks, and thankfully the camera has moved to Max.

Y/n rolls her eyes before pushing him away using his helmet before he moves to Zak for a celebration.

-

The internet and the media had gone feral with Lando's choice of label for his girlfriend. He'd admitted he's only been dating her for about 2 months when he hard launched them on his Instagram.

But now he's calling her his wife.

Between them, it's no big deal. She's not his wife, but he just calls her it because he does. There's no rhyme or reason in his head other than he just loves her a lot and calls her his wife.

To y/n, she just doesn't mind what he wants to call her.

But Lando did make it worse by deciding to drop the ugliest photos of y/n (in her opinion, Lando insisted they were adorable), mainly asleep or candid pictures of her usually looking annoyed or judgemental over something. One was actually a photo of her ignoring Lando "serenading" her, in reality he was just screeching a song at her to the point that Oscar came into the driver's room to see if things were ok. But along side all those photos that she has yet to forgive him for posting, he purposely added fuel to the fire by saying "wifey always looking good even when she's moody or unconscious".

Obviously he was just loving to play the instigator.

"You are so annoying. Look at the comments, you muppet." Y/n groans seeing a lot of shots being made at her about not being good enough for Lando as a girlfriend and certainly not good enough to be his wife.

"They're not my fans."

"Do you want to try telling them that?"

"Next time I'll post about how much I love having you sit on my face and they can-"

"Lando!" Y/n gasps but she's definitely trying not to laugh as she smacks his chest with the sound of her hand hitting him almost making her check that she didn't hit too hard since he's shirtless and the normal t-shirt to soften the smack wasn't there. But he speaks up again moving and stopping her from inspecting his chest.

"They're being ridiculous. That post was to mock them and show them that I don't care what anyone has to say. Because I love you and they can't talk shit and ask every question under the sun. I'll give them the honest answer."

"After a sarcastic answer." Y/n scoffs making him grin at her since she knows him so well that he will be giving sarcastic answers that the media struggle to know if he's serious with or not.

"Well one day if you're lucky you will be my wife, but we have yet to see if I decide I want to propose."

"You cheeky fucker!" Y/n laughs then sighing as she slumps back a little with a fake glare. "Well if you're lucky, I might say yes."

"You'll say yes." Lando scoffs before he goes quiet for a moment and y/n sighs looking at more comments which really aren't very nice. "Actually speaking of sitting on my face-"

"We weren't speaking about that, because it's never happened."

That's true, it's not the first time Lando has spoken about it. He's wanted to try it but as many women do, y/n has the irrational fear that she'll accidentally kill her boyfriend. How the hell would she even live on after that? In fact, if she killed him, what does she say when she has to call the police on herself?

Hi, I just killed my boyfriend after he asked me to sit on his face. Come arrest me.

"It came up. And I'm in the mood... I bet I can tempt you, if you stop overthinking it-again." Lando states managing to hold out his hand and guide her over to straddle his lap with little effort. "You know most guys say it'd be the best way to die."

"For fuck sake, that doesn't make it better Lando." Y/n whines while Lando hums, his mind already made up that he's going to win her over into agreeing to it. He knows she wants to try it, she loves getting head so it's not as if that's an issue.

"Get up, I want you out of all these clothes." Lando states again giving her a hand as she stands up, trying to avoid his gaze as she does as he wants and pulls off his clothes. "We're going to go slow, and I promise. If you don't like it. We stop."

"Ok." Y/n nods knowing that if she told Lando no right now, then he'd not make her go any further.

"Safe word?" Lando questions earning a bit of a smile.

"Jaffa cake."

"Of course." Lando nods before moving to kiss her. "You're going to realise what you've been missing out on."

Eventually she's hovering over him looking nervously down at him while he looks up at her waiting for her to finally let him smother himself in between the glory of her thighs.

"You can't stay up there forever."

"What if you can't breathe?"

"Then you're doing it right. Now can you sit on my face?"

Y/n isn't impressed by his dismissal but she does finally lower herself down over his head, letting out a long breath as she does so. Though she's not exactly placing her full weight down on him. Not till his hands pulling her thighs down and the feeling of his mouth on her earns an immediately makes a shiver of pleasure ripple down her spine.

"Fuck." Y/n whispers feeling Lando mouth borderline attacking her in the best way possible.

Her hand reaches to the back of the sofa for some stability since they didn't move from the living room. She does somewhat grind down on him, trying not to be too harsh in doing it but the moan of the man underneath her is definitely a noise of pleasure she's very familiar with.

The pressure on her clit and the wet precise movement of his tongue, he knows her body too well for her to be able to contain the feeling of completely euphoria.

It takes less time than usual for her to completely fall apart and in the aftershocks making her body shudder afterwards, Lando sits up with ease. Her body flying back onto the sofa as he makes the smoothest move he's ever pulled with her.

"How was that, baby?" Lando asks making her look at him with sort of glazed eyes before he removed her legs from where they'd ended up on his shoulders and closing the space to kiss her. "Would you do it again?"

"Yes. Next time I say no just don't let me talk."

"Noted." Lando laughs before he sighs managing to pull her back over so she's straddling his stomach, the throbbing of her pussy felt on his stomach making him groan. "No, baby. I gotta get inside you if you're going to feel like that on me. Please."

Usually he'd give her a bit more recovery time since the woman is sensitive, especially when he just got her to try something new. But the feeling of her pussy against him just throbbing and twitching from her own orgasm.

Less recovery time means she'll probably be squirting all over him in minutes, but he's willing to exhaust her if it means he can get inside her quicker.

Her rolls them over so she's under him, finally getting his shorts off before he pushes into her, the twitching and pulsing around him honestly making him have to take a moment to restrain himself from a more feral side appearing. Holding back, he takes a steady breath.

"Are you ok?" He asks making her nod.

"Baby, move. Please. I need you." Y/n whimpers sounding desperate for some more relief.

When he moves they're both working to meet their high along with try to help the other along. The high, as expected hits faster for y/n and she orgasms around him with only seconds of warning for him. Not that he's quite there, even if he's close.

Y/n does everything, even in her slightly dazed and out of it state, to pull him along and when he finally cums he's feeling a little out of it took.

Y/n does sort of cuddle into him once he's cleaned up and given her the tentative aftercare she's sort of become accustom to with him.

"See, tell me this isn't wife life." Lando chuckles as she whines nuzzling further into him. Her body crying for rest and recuperation.

-

"So Lando, you've teased it for weeks. Are you married?" Jenson asks as Lando sits in the pre-race show.

"No-Wife, come here. You can tell them." Lando laughs since y/n is with the McLaren group awaiting Lando to finish his part in this.

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head making both Lando and Jenson laugh a little.

"It's ok, Jenson isn't going to hurt you for stepping in frame." Lando laughs holding out his hand and that's what leaves her stepping in. "Y/n will tell everyone why I call her."

"Come on then, y/n Tell us the truth."

"Because he feels like it." Y/n admits with shrug. "We're not like engaged or married. It's just he started calling me wife and it stuck. He even jokes that he just might propose one day."

"Might? Lando, shame on you." Jenson chuckles shaking his head.

"We're young. There's time." Lando grins while hugging y/n back against him between his legs since he's sitting on one of the stools while y/n is standing in front of him facing away from him as she speaks to Jenson.

Really Lando thinks that this woman is going to be his wife, and he thinks that they sort of already act like husband and wife most of the time. They've settled into a perfect dynamic in his head, a dynamic that he thinks could only progress into real marriage and a family together.

"So at some point while still not engaged or married will you return the favour and casually call him husband?"

"I'l...have to think about it. Maybe." Y/n smiles clearly mocking him a little.

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando #norris #lando norris imagines #lando norris smut #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #ln4 #mclaren #mclaren f1 #lando norris fic #lando norris fluff #ln4 one shot #ln4 x reader #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #mclaren formula 1 #ln4 x you #ln4 x y/n #ln4 fanfic #ln4 smut

[poptartmochi]

the krill, chorus, wilis, and lemures have lost the war.. methinks I finally have a name for the creachures :]

lots of rambling in the tags.. beware comrades‼️

#they're now the ⚡🎸 AGATHOS 🎸⚡ #after the agathodaemon :] there were other contenders but i wasnt comfortable using them 🚶🏻‍♀️ #i liked agathos because it can mean noble/brave but it can Also mean fortunate/lucky #and i thought that was a fun nod to benedictus who is like their inverse in the labyrinth.. both are fortunate and blessed to be undertakin #this great quest but it leads their souls to damnation ⛷️ #the difference between the two is that the agathos' damnation is self-imposed and serves a greater purpose #benedictus' damnation is basically him being sent to Fuck Off and Die Island.. and then instead of being allowed to fuck off and die #he's turned into a muppet 😭😭😭😭 which also serves a greater purpose!... for the demon the agathos sacrificed themselves to contain #so the two come from the same root but are diametrically opposed ykwim! 😯 #i also went w the agathos instead of the grammatically correct (?) agathoi because the name is referring to them as a collective.. #like how a battalion is comprised of multiple people but it's a singular word. and then if there were 2+ of them it'd be battalions #that's the interpretation i am going with for the fellas :] also bc agathos sounds like it could be its own demon which i think could be #fun and ominous to play around with until they make their proper introduction to the narrative 😈 also the agathos just sounds very cool to #me 🥹💃🏻 hmm what else about them... OH! that tie in to benedictus' nature in the narrative also gives me a better way to explain why they #become Gioia's devil arm specifically‚ and Not Vergil's. because objectively vergil is the better candidate for them. he's a lot stronger #than gioia and Also the son of sparda. whom the agathos were maybe personally acquainted with and if not that‚ then they definitely revered #him as a god 😅 That Guy's Literal Son would be very ‼️‼️‼️ to them. and he is!! but vergil's goals don't align with theirs.. in fact i #think the two's goals are in opposition? because the agathos are sworn to contain The Demon whose goal is Also to Raise the Temen-ni-Gru #and go back to hell 🤪 anyways back to Gioia! gioia's driving goal through her narrative is to find her brother #it takes some observation for them to realize that the brother gioia's searching for is the same angelo that is undermining their sacrament #so she has a personal stake in finding him and‚ most importantly‚ a genuine chance at handling him 🎸 #she's also a fortunan which gives her brownie points ig lol 🤪 vergil might be sparda's son BUT sparda also abandoned fortuna so. 😒😒 #sriracha.txt #nero prime #live krill reaction