#there were more on the opposite side

[cheshiresense]

[Last Part]

Can't have a Yuzu POV without a Karin POV lol~

-0-

Karin makes it back before curfew with fifteen minutes to spare. Their brother had extended hers and Yuzu's curfew to 10pm since they'd hit their double-digits, and she's always been mindful to never break it. Yuzu isn't usually one to stay out late, but Karin likes her freedom to wander around without supervision enough that she isn't going to risk a grounding just because she couldn't be bothered to check the time. Besides, she knows kids her age don't get half as much trust or leeway from their guardians, so Karin isn't going to disappoint Ichigo's expectations by not following the few rules he'd set for them.

Not to mention she has exactly zero faith in her own ability - or honestly anyone else's - to slip under her brother's radar anyway. Only an idiot would think they could, and Kurosaki Karin wasn't raised a fool. Sneaking in late isn't even worth considering.

So she's back by 9:45 sharp, and she unlocks the apartment door to reveal a scene in the sitting room that's not entirely unfamiliar ever since dinner last Tuesday.

"Shoes," is Ichigo's greeting, and Karin immediately rallies.

"I rinsed them!" She insists defensively. "Thoroughly!"

She had. Karasu River, specifically that spot where their mother had died so everyone's avoided it ever since like they might get cursed if they stray too close, is a great place to get rid of evidence.

"And now you're thoroughly tracking water through the door," Ichigo points out dryly, which, oh yeah, she is, whoops.

Karin makes a vaguely sheepish face before quickly toeing out of her sneakers and leaving them outside to dry instead. Just her luck that Yuzu dropped a vial of her newest poison yesterday and burned a hole straight through the entryway doormat, and they haven't had a chance to replace it yet.

She shuts the door, drops her duffel bag against one wall, and ambles over to her brother for a hug and a cup of tea from the fresh pot on the kotatsu. Or rather, Ichigo goes about pouring her one while she slumps into his side with a content, if tired, sigh.

Ichi-nii has never really been one for hugs, even when she and Yuzu had been smaller, and that's no different now. Occasionally, on a birthday or new year or when - very rarely - something had made them cry, he'd dole one out to each of them, stiff and a little awkward, but genuine in a way Karin knows he'd had to learn just for them, and that alone had made it precious. Besides, he's never refused their hugs when they take the initiative to go in for one, and Karin knows full well that anyone else would be thrown across the room or tossed out a window, Mizuiro included, so that's just as good even if Ichigo doesn't often return them.

She leans against him now, and he endures it stoically, handing her tea and also casting a surreptitious eye over her for any signs of injury. There are none of course— Karin's been learning how to protect herself ever since her brother had become the undisputed head of the household, even if Isshin still remains determinedly blind to anything related to his son to this day. And on top of that, Ichigo's long since ensured their safety from most lesser predators in this town, so it's not as if they have anything to worry about.

Of course, there are still morons who slip through Ichigo's iron-fisted oversight - or rather, are allowed to slip through - either because they're new to Karakura or they're lured in from a neighbouring town, all of them deemed harmless enough prey for Karin and Yuzu to play with. They make for wonderful test subjects for Yuzu when she's getting creative again, and very convenient outlets for Karin whenever soccer and karate aren't enough to siphon off her excess energy. Unlike Yuzu, Karin really isn't made to sit still or stay indoors all day.

She blinks when Ichigo jostles her out of her thoughts with a nudge and a succinct reminder, "Greet."

Karin's pretty sure there's some kind of What Manners And Social Norms To Teach Your Kids So They Can Fit Into Society self-help book squirrelled away in Ichi-nii's room somewhere. Possibly even a series. Of course, her brother certainly doesn’t follow his own lessons on conduct, but this is one of those things that Ichigo has always implicitly expressed his preference for her and Yuzu to ‘do as I say, not as I do'.

So Karin can only swallow a forbearing grumble along with her tea before nodding curtly across the table, "Good evening, Hirako-san, Urahara-san."

Ichigo's already turned back to some papers in front of him, because bright side— her brother's number of fucks to give begins and ends with the most perfunctory of civilities, so at least Karin doesn't have to waste time on small talk. Yuzu, her crazier half, is the only one of them who actually enjoys that stuff. Karin sometimes can't believe they're related.

"Brat," is Hirako's response, and his voice says amusement but his eyes say caution. Well, amused caution, but Hirako seems to find almost everything a little funny, and it's not even some weird bravado because his reiatsu manifestation is constantly a glittering field of yellow-gold-blue that takes the form of a sunny beach. Usually.

On the other hand— "Good evening, Kurosaki-san," Urahara returns, perfectly polite, with a perfectly pleasant if distracted smile, perfectly suited for someone who's genuinely glad to see an acquaintance's sister home safe. Except his reiatsu manifestation is a fucking ocean of blood, deep and dark and completely still on the surface no matter what he says or does. The only times Karin's seen even just a ripple in it is when Ichigo is talking. Her brother at least seems to have a knack for taking Urahara off-guard. Nobody else though, and the external mimicry of human reactions - no matter how expertly crafted - doesn't impress Karin one bit when she can see the disconnect between his insides and outsides.

So she snorts and goes back to ignoring them both. Since the dinner last week, these two have come back a couple more times, mostly meeting with Ichigo for something or other, probably a ghost-related problem, with Urahara also dropping off a stack of books and scrolls for Yuzu, and they seem like they'll be sticking around for a while. But until Ichigo tells her that they're going to be part of the family, like Mizuiro, Karin's not going to waste her time on getting to know them. Honestly, just by dint of being people, and worse, troublesome ones, means that they're more likely to get themselves offed at the business end of Ichigo's swords than anything else.

"Ichi-nii," She says instead. "I have another away game on Friday. Can you sign me out of class?"

Ichigo makes a noise in the affirmative. "Leave the form on the kitchen table before you go to bed. Is it in Naruki City again?"

"Yeah," Karin makes a face. "Back-to-back matches against Hiromasa. Dunno why they even bother when they're not serious about it anyway. And they're so annoying. We always kick their asses but they still look down on us cuz I'm a regular on the team. What, a girl can't play soccer now? But we literally run the score up into the double digits every time we play and all they say is that they were going easy on us cuz we've got girls on the team!"

She stops and takes a deep breath. She's actually complained about this before, multiple times, ever since she'd turned nine and been deemed old enough - and tall enough - to play in official matches. Or as official as elementary school club competitions can get anyway, and being able to play against other schools was awesome, but that didn't mean some of their opponents weren't dickheads. At least she'll finally enter middle school next year and probably won't ever bump into this particular group of idiots on the field again, but until then, she's no doubt going to complain some more.

And her brother always listens with the sort of patience he wouldn't extend to anyone else's whining, which Karin likes to take shameless advantage of, but on occasion, she also needs other ways to vent, and that was really what today had been all about after enduring last Friday's game.

Right on cue, Ichigo asks without looking up, "Haven't you gotten it out of your system yet?"

Karin huffs and takes another long drought of tea before speaking. "Kind of? But the guy didn't even put up a fight! He even pissed himself, Ichi-nii! Before I even did anything! It was gross!"

Ichigo finally lifts his head just to level a look at her. "You play with your food too much."

Karin stares indignantly back at him. "I do not!"

"How long have you had your eye on this latest one?"

Since like, three weeks ago, but that's not Karin's fault! "It's not my fault he took forever to take the bait. You'd think it would've been easier with the way he stalked my jogging route every single day just to see me in a tank top and shorts. Besides, I was saving him for after last Friday's match! You know, as a treat."

"And now it's already Tuesday," Ichigo mutters, but he also pats her on the head in a vaguely comforting if condescending manner, like he's consoling her for a botched job.

Karin splutters. "Ichi-nii!"

Ichigo smirks briefly. "You're still young. You'll get better. There's no rush."

Karin pouts into her tea. Eleven - literally twelve in less than half a month! - isn't that young. She's definitely not a kid anymore. Ichigo was already scaring the crap out of half the town before he'd even hit his pre-teens. He hadn't even killed anyone yet back then but people twice his size would pick fights with him that he'd always win, and then he had started killing once he'd turned thirteen, which had only cemented his reputation. Karin and Yuzu had had to beg forever to get their brother to teach them some of the tricks of his trade, because they hadn't wanted to wait years to follow in Ichigo's footsteps, and Ichigo had thankfully agreed that it made sense for them to learn how to protect themselves.

Still, no matter how many bodies she and Yuzu have put in the ground - not that many actually, they've got a long way to go to catch up to Ichigo - Karin isn't so oblivious that she doesn't know that a good portion of the respect they receive these days is entirely down to their brother's looming shadow behind them. But everyone needs a goal or two in life, and one day, she wants people to look at her and flinch because she's scary enough all on her own.

"Did you clean up properly tonight?" Ichigo adds like an afterthought.

Karin rolls her eyes. "I would've called you if there was a problem. You know I have like three different cleanup crews and Mizuiro-nii on speed-dial."

She can't wait until she's tall enough to bag and carry adult corpses around on her own. It's embarrassing to have to call someone every time she - okay, she admits it - makes a bit of a mess. It's not an issue when Ichigo is there, and she just has to help him, but when she's alone, it pays to have extra hands in the aftermath, even if it feels kind of like she still has to be babysat.

"Cleanup crews?" Hirako suddenly interjects from where he's just been watching them and listening like he's never heard a single conversation in his life and it's somehow super fascinating. What a weirdo. "Where'd ya get those from?"

Karin squints at him. Why does he want to know? Shinigami old as dirt still don't know how to do their own cleanup?

"They're just local yakuza," Ichigo actually takes the time to answer, which seems exceptionally tolerant of him. He must really like this guy for some reason. "Someone always has some free time to lend a hand, and they don't mind sharing their dump sites."

Hirako arches an eyebrow. "They don't?"

Ichigo smiles lazily at him. "Not anymore."

Hirako stares at him for a beat longer before bursting into raucous laughter, except the sunny beach from before is shifting, sliding, fucking shimmering, and then it's no longer a beach even if it's still a field of yellow-gold-blue. Instead, sand dunes rise where there'd only been wild grasses and rocky outcrops before, an endless desert as far as the eye can see, while the sea isn't a sea at all but something that could be an oasis or just a mirage, now gone hazy behind a wave of heat, and all of it so deceptive and deadly that you might wonder how you could've ever mistaken it for anything remotely harmless at all.

And it's even worse beside him, because Urahara is sitting there, blandly smiling away from behind his fan, and he doesn't look much of anything, but the ocean of blood he's literally submerged in stirs for a minute like there's something large and lethal swimming in its depths. Karin can't see what it is though because the blood is so thick that she can barely even make out Urahara's face, let alone anything else.

She rubs at her eyes. They're giving her a headache. This is why she prefers baseline humans over ghosts. Ghosts naturally have more reiryoku than average living beings, and Shinigami have even more than that - way more - so Karin in turn sees a whole lot more than just flashes of transparent images when she has to look at them. And it would be bad enough if it was just that, but these two lie so much. She doesn't know if it's a Shinigami thing or Ichigo just attracts complications, although now that she thinks about it, Mizuiro had given her headaches at first too. It'd just been easier with him because when he'd started coming over to hang out, he didn't have anywhere near as much reiryoku as these two guys, and now Karin's just used to him so it doesn't much matter anymore.

But these two. She doesn't even know what Hirako's deal is, because as far as she's aware, he hasn't really lied about anything so far. His insides match his outsides, so to speak. But his manifestation also seems to imply that everything he says is as much a truth as it is a lie, or that it could be a lie just as much as it could be a truth, depending on the situation. Which doesn't make any sense, at least not to her.

And don't even get her started on Urahara. That man oozes shady vibes so it's not exactly a shock that his manifestation reflects that. It's just... who the heck has an ocean of blood representing their soul? It's not the fact that it's blood that confuses her; it's that the blood is all there is. Even if you kill a person a day for a thousand years, it can't be all that you are, right? Even Ichigo doesn't have something like that. Although to be fair, his reiatsu manifestation can probably come across as pretty disturbing too. But Karin basically grew up with it so she can't really say for sure. It's certainly never frightened her. Not that Urahara frightens her either. It's just... weird.

Both of these old dudes are so weird. They're the first people she's come across whose manifestations are as complex as her brother's, but she doesn't really know what she can interpret from them because manifestations are different from emotions, and besides that, emotions are her sister's wheelhouse anyway. Yuzu is the one who can pick up what someone is feeling at any moment and extrapolate from there. Karin just gets a bunch of pointless shitty abstract art shoved at her eyeballs, and Shinigami are clearly the worst about it.

And just to make it really unfair, Yuzu says that emotions rarely get too loud for her. Karin doesn't know if it's because her sister had been born with natural talent when it comes to controlling her ability while Karin... hadn't, or if Karin's ability encompasses so much of one of the senses she depends on most in everyday life that it simply affects her more easily, but either way, if the manifestation is a powerful one, then the longer she focuses on it, the more it can overwhelm her.

It'd been almost unbearable at first when she was younger, all of eight years old and finally tapping into her portion of the family inheritance, except even a glimpse of another student with slightly above average reiryoku levels could wipe her out for hours. There'd been days where Ichigo had had to pull her out of school just so she wouldn't have to see anyone, living or dead, and she'd needed almost six months before she'd gotten a proper handle on it.

During last Tuesday's dinner, she actually couldn't even see what Hirako and Urahara's faces looked like until near the end of it. Their reiatsu is just that strong, which means their manifestations appear completely solid and three-dimensional, and that means that those manifestations are the only things Karin sees most of the time when she has to look at them.

She doesn't even get the benefit of practically being able to read minds like Yuzu can. Although Yuzu always says it's nothing like reading minds. Karin remains unconvinced. Emotions can reveal a lot, especially with context clues. Manifestations on the other hand almost never react to whatever is happening in real time. Unlike emotions, they're rarely a consequence of outside stimuli. Hirako's had changed earlier, from illusory beach to the real desert hidden underneath, but that's because his manifestation has always been like that, switching between the two when the mood - his mood - strikes. Even now, it's already settling back onto the beach scene. It may have been somewhat affected by what Ichigo had said - by cleanup crews??? - but it hadn't shown anything that hadn't already been there, part of Hirako's soul.

In contrast, Urahara's the real outlier. Karin doesn't even want to think about his manifestation, never mind look at it. It's not that his soul has become something new either - the whole person would have to be swapped out for that to happen - but she's never met anyone, ever, whose manifestation seems to hinge so absolutely upon one person before. She's not even sure if Urahara is aware of how... fixated he is. And she definitely doesn't know what it means. Ichigo doesn't even like the guy, and Urahara - inside or outside - doesn't seem particularly hung up on Ichigo. Except of course for the little matter of how his actual-facts immortal soul is doing the near-equivalent of placing itself in the palm of Ichigo's hand, which- what. Didn't they just meet like two seconds ago? If Karin actually believed in love at first sight, she'd say this might be what it would look like if it could manifest a physical form in the creepiest way possible, but she doesn't, so to her, Urahara's just insane.

Anyway, no one can blame her for not wanting anything to do with these crazies, especially when coupled with her ability. She wouldn't give it up if she could, because it's hers, and it makes her special like Yuzu, like Ichi-nii, makes her part of the family in a way no one else but the three of them can be, but at the same time, it's honestly a pretty useless skill. Manifestations are just... portraits of souls laid bare, which sounds all kinds of impressive and philosophical but is actually just a fancy way of describing a lifetime of squatting in an art museum with all its exits sealed.

It's terrible all around, made doubly so by their houseguests, and in Karin's opinion, the sooner Ichigo gets tired of them, the better.

The room has gone silent, and Karin only notices when the mostly empty tea mug is plucked from her hand. She's pinching the bridge of her nose with her other hand, eyes closed, but she opens them then to peer up at her brother.

"It's getting late," Ichigo says without much inflection in his voice, but he also pats her head again, and a flare of reiatsu floods her retinas like cold spring water on a hot day, washing away the pain. "Go to bed. Lights out by eleven."

Karin's more than happy to get out of there, away from Less Crazy 1 and More Crazy 2.

"Mm, I know," She gives her brother a quick hug before clambering to her feet. "'Night, Ichi-nii. I'll leave the form in the kitchen."

Ichigo grunts his acknowledgement, and Karin spares a moment to nod in the general direction of the Shinigami before wandering away, pausing only long enough to scoop up her bag before making her way up the hall and to the master bedroom. She and Yuzu still prefer sharing each other's space even though Yuzu is fastidiously possessive about her own belongings, so Ichigo had given them the biggest room when they'd moved in, while he and Mizuiro had split the single and study-turned-bedroom between them. The best perk of this is of course the fact that she and Yuzu get the en suite bathroom to themselves.

Her sister is still up, bopping to some music on her headphones while reading one of the scrolls Urahara had given her. She barely glances up when Karin comes in, although she wrinkles her nose plenty when it's clear Karin hasn't had time to do her laundry.

Karin rolls her eyes and shuts the door behind her. "I won't leave anything lying around, don't faint."

Yuzu glowers at her. "I don't faint!"

Karin snickers as she ducks into the bathroom. "Whatever you say, princess."

The thud of a pillow hitting the bathroom door is her reply. It's actually pretty hilarious when Karin thinks about it. Yuzu's manifestation is a sterile white room lined with perfectly preserved faceless corpses wall to wall, but give her a human body with its guts spilling out, and she immediately runs for the nearest toilet. She doesn't mind the scent of blood, but gods forbid any stains linger where they shouldn't.

Speaking of, Karin digs out the set of clothes she'd changed out of earlier, after her stalker had been dealt with. She hadn't even gotten them very dirty this time, and she'd made sure to scrub everything clean in the river anyway before coming home, but she'll still have to toss them into the washer again if she doesn't want Yuzu nagging her about it. In the meantime, she shoves it all into a vacuum seal bag and leaves it in the corner. She can haul them over to the laundry room next door in the morning with the rest of the past week's load.

Her knives are tucked inside the duffel as well. Those she'll take care of tonight. Ichi-nii went all the way to Nagasaki to commission them for her from a semi-retired blacksmith last year. They're elegant and gorgeous, and they cut like a dream, sheathed in black leather and embossed with a small stylized K on the flat of each blade, only noticeable when the metal runs red. It's the best gift Karin has ever received, and if they ever rust, or she ever loses them, she'll probably bawl her eyes out.

She hops into the shower next, sighing happily as she relaxes under the hot water. Despite the atrocious company Ichigo keeps these days, today's still been an overall good day. She'll be able to go back to her jogging in peace starting tomorrow, and the upcoming match on Friday doesn't seem quite as irritating now that she's had someone to stab a time or ten. Of course, after the match is another matter entirely. Maybe she can tag along to Yuzu's bake sale on Saturday. There's always a couple suckers at the outskirts of Karakura too stupid to live.

It's something to look forward to. For now though, she finishes her shower, brushes her teeth, and then gets to work cleaning her knives. She doesn't have all night.

"Was Onii-chan still talking to Hirako-san and Urahara-san?" Yuzu asks a little later as they get ready for bed because their brother always knows if they stay up too late.

"Yeah," Karin says around a yawn as she sets her alarm. "They might still be out there. Can't you sense them?"

Yuzu shakes her head, leaning over to switch off the lamp on her nightstand. "They're... quiet, I guess. Quieter. I have to be in the same room as them to pick up on their emotions."

Karin hums as she rolls herself into her blankets. "What do you think about them?"

"I don't, really," Yuzu admits easily, so they're agreed on that at least. "Although if Onii-chan gets rid of them, I hope he can wait until after Urahara-san has finished teaching me."

Karin snorts. Typical.

They're silent for a moment until Yuzu speaks up again. "I think they're trouble. I mean, Onii-chan did mention it during dinner last week. But I think it's a different kind of trouble than the usual stuff. Not like yakuza or random creeps or even the monsters. Worse, I think they're going to bring trouble."

Karin frowns into the dark. Well, it's not anything she hasn't thought of herself. It's another reason why she dislikes them. If they've got problems, why do they have to dump them at Ichigo's doorstep? What have they ever done for Ichi-nii?

Still, "Ichi-nii will be able to handle it," Karin says with certainty. She's never known her brother to fail at anything. There has never been a problem Ichigo couldn't solve. He'd even cowed their father without ever laying a single hand on him, and that was back when Isshin had still been stronger than Ichigo.

"Well, obviously," Yuzu says, equally confident. "Maybe Onii-chan will even have some fun with it. I know the monsters don't give him any kind of challenge anymore. And he likes Hirako-san and Urahara-san well enough."

"He likes Hirako," Karin corrects, shooting a flummoxed look at the bed across the room. "Urahara, he could take or leave. I'm surprised Ichi-nii lets him come here at all."

"Yes," Yuzu says with an audible smile. "Onii-chan lets him come here."

Karin blinks. ...Huh.

"So, what, is it like... a crush?" Karin grimaces. Ew. "They're old and weird!"

Yuzu giggles. "I don't think I'd go that far. Yet. Besides, they're also powerful and interesting and not afraid of him, and you know what Onii-chan's like."

"Yeah, but I also thought Ichi-nii doesn't get crushes," Karin grouches. "I can't believe it's both ways."

"Both ways?" Yuzu echoes, and Karin can almost hear her eyes go wide. "Urahara-san too?"

Karin squints up at the ceiling. "What, you didn't pick that up from him? I mean I don't think it's actually a crush. Like you said. But there's something there."

"Urahara-san is a bit strange about Onii-chan," Yuzu agrees thoughtfully. "But I'm not exactly sure what it is. His emotions are hard to read sometimes. Hirako-san is easier. And nicer."

Karin makes a disgruntled sound. 'Nice' isn't how she'd put it, considering Hirako's reiatsu manifestation.

"Hirako-san isn't that bad," Yuzu says, amused. "And they're both kind of like Onii-chan, so that might be good. It's good to have friends."

Karin shrugs and grabs an extra pillow to hug. "Whether they're like him or not, if they do something dumb, Ichi-nii will handle it all the same."

Yuzu laughs, bright and cheerful and just a little anticipatory, even if she does seem to have a better opinion of them than Karin does.

The conversation between them fades away. Karin shuts her eyes and lets her thoughts drift. She has morning practice tomorrow and can't be late, so old weird men calling on her brother are frankly the least of her priorities.

#bleach #myscrap #stunted empathy verse #kurosaki karin #kurosaki ichigo #hirako shinji #urahara kisuke #kurosaki yuzu #karin's way less impressed with the two old dudes who followed her brother home #not that yuzu was all that impressed either beyond what kisuke could do for her lmao #anyway fleshing out karin and smacked her with a much more unique ability than yuzu's lol #not that yuzu's is particularly common in the bleach world but you see the empathy trope in general more often #they're kind of opposites in that #yuzu's relatively more normal in the spiritual powers department #not so normal with her poison obsession in everyday life #karin kind of doesn't want to have much to do with the spiritual side #and is more normal with her daily life #kind of #okay murder's not normal but she goes about it more straightforwardly at least #the main point is i hope they actually feel like people instead of cardboard cutouts lmao #sorry kubo but they were so flat in canon

[fizzytoo]

ama and karlee's updated teen bedrooms!

amaya’s the first 3, and karlee’s the last 3!

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #postcard legacy challenge #postcard: gen3 #plc extras #i’ll post the rest of the house at some point #i feel like theyre opposite sides of the same coin #theyre both romantics that love fantasy. while ama enjoys more of the darker themes of fantasy karlee likes the more brighter themes #like ama's the mage/wizard enjoyer type and karlee's the knight on the white horse enjoyer type #if that makes sense #i wish they were real 😞 they wouldve loved bg3

[tev-the-random]

So the thing that gets me about Starlo — the thing that really gets me — is how much this guy hates himself.

It's not something you notice the first time you're playing, because he's so confident and enthusiastic. He'd almost be cool if he wasn't such a dork. But after replaying the game with the context of where he came from, — and I'll admit, after reading some very interesting, in-depth fanfics and analysis about him, I'll try to link them if I find them again — his character becomes a bit... blurred. How much of this is Starlo, and how much of it is North Star?

Because- because the whole point of his sheriff persona is that he gets to be someone else, isn't it? When he's out there rootin' and tootin', acting out his hero fantasies and trying to imitate the characters from the westerns he admires, he becomes someone much cooler than himself. North Star is everything Starlo wishes he was: the fearless leader, the cunning cowboy, the confident sheriff who saves lives and wrangles bandits and hangs out with humans. Not just some nobody farmer who could disappear in the corn field without anyone noticing, not the son who wastes his time on daydreams.

He craves praise so deeply. That's the big difference between Star and Papyrus, I think, because Papyrus is just so unapologetically himself, while Star... he starts spending more and more time with this mask of greatness he made himself. Because people like North Star. Not Starlo.

North Star is a real sheriff. Not Starlo.

North Star is the one who brings help and hope and fun to monsters. Not Starlo.

North Star is the one worthy of being appreciated. Not Starlo.

And like... he wants to be liked so badly. So much effort is put into making sure North Star is good enough that Starlo tends to assume people hate him. He assumes his parents hate his life choices (they don't; they're proud of him and know he cares), he assumes Clover will laugh at him when he shows his face to them (they don't; despite everything, it's still him), he assumes the reason he fell out with his friends is because he wasn't a good enough sheriff (he knows damn well it wasn't actually Clover's fault, he's not THAT stupid. But he's still desperately grasping at the last pieces of his shattered persona, so if he just works harder, if he does what a real sheriff does and captures this human, then everything will be alright, won't it?)

I really wish we could have gotten more insight on Starlo's relationships and personality before the whole Wild East thing consumed him. Ceroba and the Feisty Five say they miss the old Starlo, but we never really get to know who the old Starlo was. And I don't think he knows either.

Wake the hell up, Star. People started liking you before you were North Star. Go eat some corn and calm down.

Point is, the impostor syndrome goes hard and that's such a mood. He was supposed to be the cool and silly cowboy guy, what the fuck–

#at first I thought Star was like my polar opposite #because he's clearly an extrovert and I'm so introverted I might as well live under a rock #but after staring at him for long enough i think it's more like... #two sides of the same coin #running away from yourself eh? wishing you were enough eh? #he's such a wet cat #I'm insane about this game don't mind me #rabid and feral #they need therapy your honour #of course this is just my interpretation of it though #i'm not projecting you're projecting #Undertale Yellow #UTY #Starlo uty #North Star #welcome to my TEV Talk

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Me, before finishing Renegades Trilogy: Oh okay! This series shows complexities on both sides but over all it echos anti police brutality shown in the "heroes"

Me, after basically reading "the anarchists were completely in the wrong and being a renegade was the 100% path the whole time": I'm sorry w h a t

#renegades trilogy #nova artino #i am NOT accusing Marissa Meyer of anything #tho it's a little strange to me how the complexities are made out to be more black and white toward the end #I need to reread the book to give better examples but #did anyone else feel this way? #supernova marissa meyer #renegades marissa meyer #supernova spoilers #or maybe this is just me being an anarchist apologist #renegades anarchists #y'know renegades kinda demonstrated the abuse of power and there were interesting ideas there #they just didn't feel fully realized to their potential #nova felt like she went to the opposite side rather than them meeting her halfway #renegades salt #renegades trilogy salt

[hechiima]

It's already so tragic that Holmes and Watson get separated for three years in the original stories and then dgs was like alright well we're gonna make it ten and make them both single dads. So. I'm sure they're fine.

#at least mikotoba doesnt think sholmes is dead but still???? #they were literally on opposite sides of the world with 19th century tech for communication #convinced this is why sholmes was working on zoom #hmmk 10yg destroys me more than nrmt 7yg tbh #we see how attached sholmes gets and just. ten years of raising iris on his own while trying to unravel the professor mystery. #and then capcoms like they see each other for like a day then mikotoba goes back to Japan???? #absolutely not #they need more time plEasE i am going insane #this is also why i cant richenbach sholmes #he cant lose another three years #PLUS HE HAS A DAUGHTER LIKE #tom talks #im so normal #dgs #dgs2 spoilers #herlock sholmes #yujin mikotoba #homumiko

[schnuffel-danny]

My controversial DP take is that Sam is a very realistic depiction of a bitter 14 year old girl trying to hold onto a strong sense of identity. I actually don’t mind the way she was written (besides Phantom Planet, her character was really butchered in that episode. Haha, get it? Butch-ered... yeah sorry) Like, the “weird girls” back in the day (even way later than the early 2000s) really were like this. In a way Sam’s sometimes absolutely rancid personality makes perfect sense to me. I honestly feel like Sam is a good kid who has the potential to grow up to be a better person, but canon didn’t really have room for age progression, so she’s stuck as a 14 year old girl in a perpetual fight or flight mode trying to defend her right to be seen as an individual.

#if anything I'm more upset about the way characters like Paulina were treated #I feel like Paulina could be such a perfect example of the other side of the spectrum opposite to Sam #but alas Paulina was not a main character and I just have to accept that #I love the main trio because they genuinely feel like a small friend group of 14 year olds hah

[fiapple]

Okay, you know that scene in Catwoman v.1 where Selina begs Maggie to scream, cry, lash out, & curse her rather than turn to a darker version of herself?

I need you to understand that, if it were written with any sense of integrity, that would be the attitude Bruce has towards Jason post-resurrection. At least after becoming privy to the fact that Jason does not personally blame Bruce for his death.

In my opinion, Bruce would sell his arm for a penny on a streetcorner providing it gave Jason non-homicidal means of coping, for Jason to view him as responsible, as a second murderer. For him to curse "hereoism", & vigilantes, & the whole fucking lifestyle- decry it as an unbelievable farce & leave it all behind to go back to being Jason Todd of Crime Alley, who only did what he had to do to survive. Bruce would be so far beyond willing to carry that weight if it meant his boy would be off the track of his homicidally self-destructive rampage. If it meant Jason realizing he is more than just a revenant, that he is alive, that he can have a life.

The only way it makes any sense to me is if Bruce would accept, even embrace a world in which Jason views him as a horrible dad, an irredeemable piece of shit who is directly responsible for his murder, if it just meant that Jason did not have to utterly sacrafice his sense of humanity & compassion to make it through the world. He'd give near anything for it or it makes no sense. That's his son. His son who was dead but is now alive, for all he does not seem to grasp that himself.

Also he should have let Jason pop the clown. Not even for ethical reasons, but in the chase of giving Jason a chance at the realization in the world they do live in where Jason will not allow himself to view Bruce that way. Because he refuses to harm his son, or let him be taken in another explosion. Not when he just got him back, not when his son has not even gotten the chance to truly come back to life.

(I also think it would be a far more interesting jumping-off point post-utrh for Jason, but that's somewhat besides the point.)

#like when it's said bruce should be continually grieving for jason it shouldn't just be for robin jay but a jay who sees his value as a #human being rather than near-nothing more than a symbol of violent retribution. #and i stand by that. #but yeah this is also why i think the idea of Leslie being majorly involved in Jason's immediate post utrh arc would have been genius. #like she is literally the epitome of “i am going to critique vigilantism both politically & as a coping mechansim” in the bat mythos & more #over she would be Jason's ideological diometric opposite at that point as a pacifist & they have a history together meaning it would not #only be some who witnessed the climate of Gotham in the aftermath of his death but also someone who knew HIM before it. & like positioning #them as not neccessarily opposing sides while still being in conflict at first only for that to lead to development over time as jason heal #& WITH HER CONNECTION TO THE GOTHAM WORKING CLASS TO TOP IT OFF... we were robbed. #it also fits with my personal heavy insistence that Jason's healing arc have nothing to do with Bruce for like... a solid couple in-univers #years. it's important for jason to heal with agency & his own ideological growth & emotional reconciling. #bruce wayne #bruce & jason #dc #dc comics #jason todd #dc meta #batman meta #red hood

[cinna-bunnie]

u ever hope an ex is doing good then hear about the direction their life went and it's all just fucking tragic

#i got A Lot of tea from my coworkers who used to b friends with her on lunch bc we share my office #and we went in complete opposite directions. she's changed so much it's kind of scary even to her friends #she cut off all her queer and trans friends and said “[her] values have changed” and agrees with things her idiot toxic boyfriend #says when it's like girl this is SO so disappointing i know u know better. you are so much better than this u deserve sm better than this #i don't know if she's actually gone Full Catholic but she's extremely family oriented n her family is Mexican Catholic iykyk #it was a big problem in our relationship bc I'd only get to see Other People once every couple of months 😓 #anyways new dude is extremely machismo and even by those standards he's Far on the aggressive side it's really scary #she even wants to get married and have kids but like the scenes he makes and the way he blows up on her and makes her cry #really hurts my heart to learn about. she's such a beautiful smart and sweet girl i was hoping she'd figure out what she wants for #herself after we split. and i don't wanna make assumptions about her thought process but it sounds like she got more reliant on her #fam not less to the point that even her friends were stressed about it and aksjdkak. i could see how someone who #has the energy and desire to go to Everything and gets along great w ur fam is nicer compared to like. #a trans woman who feels like a caged animal and is constantly begging for rest she never gets #but are all the sacrifices you're making worth it? there is zero “haha that sucks” it's just. tragic. u cut off ur childhood best friend for #being enby?? I'd imagine she doesn't feel “lonely” but god she sounds trapped and i worry for her #but otoh hearing who she turned into really gave me closure bc no fucking way would i want to date someone like this... #and that is a nice thing to heal inside of me albeit healing from something fucked up #just the thought of “maybe. one day” till y'all have changed so much u can't recognize and don't want each other #i assumed she wasn't the same person anymore bc i wasn't but hoped she changed for the better. but 😐 ig not. idk. #I'm gonna have complicated feelings on this all day im At work and can't focus lol

[quietwingsinthesky]

obsessed with the idea of the doctor and the master standing together in opposition to gallifrey post-end of time. less in it being the reality of the situation, and more in it being what the master perceives it to be in the immediate aftermath of being. well. told he was going to be disposed of. the combination of that rejection with the doctor choosing him, the way that sets them up with a common enemy. but where that enemy for the master becomes gallifrey in the abstract with the council as the face of it, the doctor never sees it that way, never thinks of it as the two of them against their own world. the doctor, crucially, kept count of the children. when he saves gallifrey, it isn’t about the master at all, not to anyone but the master themself. because how are they supposed to take the doctor choosing gallifrey over them as anything other than a betrayal.

#the master and his stupid warped sense of importance to both the doctor’s choices and the universe as a whole #which is. well. i mean he’s not alone in that. the doctor has the same ideas about himself in relation to the master. and the universe. #only the universe obviously sometimes validates him because this is a story. about him. #but my point is. the master wanting gallifrey to burn post-end of time. setting up the hybrid prophecy as missy. makes sense to me. it does. #i just wish there was more. conflict to it. more to lash out at the doctor with because the master is choosing him so *why* isn’t he #choosing the master back. why is he trying to stop the hybrid plans. this is what they’re meant to *do*. this is what being on the same side #*means*. that there must be an opposition and that opposition must be gallifrey as a whole. because in that most crucial moment the master #got hurt. and time echoed back because of what the council did to make it so he’d been hurting his entire life. just so they could use him. #you get it? you get it. my fucked up raccoon of a man she has so many issues. #it’s just such a fascinating concept to me because that is still *gallifrey*. that’s still his home. the master is not heartless. #when he tries to connect with the doctor he does it to references to gallifrey’s physical features. this is a place he mourned you know? #in his way. so. you know. how do you look at your home and want it to burn right? how far do things have to escalate that you’d rather it be #ash than a place to go back to. and how do you deal with pushing forward with this plan. when you thought you wouldn’t have to push it alone #like for one minute there they were really truly on the same side. their own side. and then they weren’t. and no one told the master that #they weren’t anymore until she got punched in the head by that knowledge. you know? #rambling again im so sorry #doctor who #thoschei #the doctor #the master

[vyeoh]

I love a good ship, and I can appreciate Fearne and Ashton as a dynamic. But, I will say I am a bit disappointed that Ashton would have a romantic arc in general. Like, seriously no hate to anyone and this is def nothing more than my opinion but I would've really enjoyed Ash as a character that wasn't ace or aro, but long-term monogamy is just not their thing yunno

#vio.txt #critical role #idk why it bothered me sm more w the last ep maybe it was fcg's whole thing about how true Enlightenment is finding your one true love #but everytime they were together there is a part of me filled w dread #either way tho its a fun dynamic beyond that so im not that miffed #i just felt like someone had to represent the opposite side of a ship that does seem to be very popular #also wondering if anyone else feels this or am i just being weird #callowmoore neg

[wonder-worker]

Margaret of Anjou’s visit to Coventry [in 1456], which was part of her dower and that of her son, Edward of Lancaster, was much more elaborate. It essentially reasserted Lancastrian power. The presence of Henry and the infant Edward was recognised in the pageantry. The ceremonial route between the Bablake gate and the commercial centre was short, skirting the area controlled by the cathedral priory, but it made up for its brevity with no fewer than fourteen pageants. Since Coventry had an established cycle of mystery plays, there were presumably enough local resources and experience to mount an impressive display; but one John Wetherby was summoned from Leicester to compose verses and stage the scenes. As at Margaret’s coronation the iconography was elaborate, though it built upon earlier developments.

Starting at Bablake gate, next to the Trinity Guild church of St. Michael, Bablake, the party was welcomed with a Tree of Jesse, set up on the gate itself, with the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah explaining the symbolism. Outside St. Michael’s church the party was greeted by Edward the Confessor and St. John the Evangelist; and proceeding to Smithford Street, they found on the conduit the four Cardinal Virtues—Righteousness (Justice?), Prudence, Temperance, and Fortitude. In Cross Cheaping wine flowed freely, as in London, and angels stood on the cross, censing Margaret as she passed. Beyond the cross was pitched a series of pageants, each displaying one of the Nine Worthies, who offered to serve Margaret. Finally, the queen was shown a pageant of her patron saint, Margaret, slaying the dragon [which 'turned out to be strictly an intercessor on the queen's behalf', as Helen Maurer points out].

The meanings here are complex and have been variously interpreted. An initial reading of the programme found a message of messianic kingship: the Jesse tree equating royal genealogy with that of Christ had been used at the welcome for Henry VI on his return from Paris in 1432. A more recent, feminist view is that the symbolism is essentially Marian, and to be associated with Margaret both as queen and mother of the heir rather than Henry himself. The theme is shared sovereignty, with Margaret equal to her husband and son. Ideal kingship was symbolised by the presence of Edward the Confessor, but Margaret was the person to whom the speeches were specifically addressed and she, not Henry, was seen as the saviour of the house of Lancaster. This reading tips the balance too far the other way: the tableau of Edward the Confessor and St. John was a direct reference to the legend of the Ring and the Pilgrim, one of Henry III’s favourite stories, which was illustrated in Westminster Abbey, several of his houses, and in manuscript. It symbolised royal largesse, and its message at Coventry would certainly have encompassed the reigning king. Again, the presence of allegorical figures, first used for Henry, seems to acknowledge his presence. Yet, while the message of the Coventry pageants was directed at contemporary events it emphasised Margaret’s motherhood and duties as queen; and it was expressed as a traditional spiritual journey from the Old Testament, via the incarnation represented by the cross, to the final triumph over evil, with the help of the Virgin, allegory, and the Worthies. The only true thematic innovation was the commentary by the prophets.

[...] The messages of the pageants firmly reminded the royal women of their place as mothers and mediators, honoured but subordinate. Yet, if passive, these young women were not without significance. It is clear from the pageantry of 1392 and 1426 in London and 1456 in Coventry that when a crisis needed to be resolved, the queen (or regent’s wife) was accorded extra recognition. Her duty as mediator—or the good aspect of a misdirected man—suddenly became more than a pious wish. At Coventry, Margaret of Anjou was even presented as the rock upon which the monarchy rested. [However,] a crisis had to be sensed in order to provoke such emphasis [...]."

-Nicola Coldstream, "Roles of Women in Late Medieval Civic Pageantry," "Reassessing the Roles of Women as 'Makers' of Medieval Art and Culture"

#historicwomendaily #margaret of anjou #my post #henry vi #yeah I don't necessarily agree with Laynesmith's interpretation (that it was essentially Marian with an emphasis on shared sovereignty) #which she herself says is 'admittedly very speculative' #as this book points out that interpretation tips the balance too far on the other side and has a somewhat selective reading #It's also important to remember that this interpretation was not really reflected across wider Lancastrian propaganda at the time #which isn't really talked about - let alone emphasized - as much by historians but remained focused on the King #For example: look at the pro-Lancastrian poem 'The Ship of State' which hails Henry VI as a 'noble shyp made of good tree' #and emphasizes how he was widely supported and defended by many great Lancastrian lords and the crown prince #but not Margaret who was entirely absent #also look at the book 'Knyghthode and Bataile' (presented to Henry) and Fortescue's various pro-Lancastrian texts in the 1460s #even the recording of that Yorkist trial which was iirc reported in the 1459 attainder #all of these were entirely conventional and highlighted the presence and importance of the King. Margaret was not emphasized. #so either the Lancastrians were impossibly inconsistent about what message they actually wanted to convey about the role of their own queen #or the Coventry pageants were not actually meant to emphasize Margaret in the lieu of Laynesmith's interpretation #and would not have been viewed in such a manner by contemporaries #I think we should also keep in mind that we don't really know what Henry VI's condition was like at the time of MoA's entry to Coventry #we know he had been injured in St. Albans and had only just recovered from his second illness #this is especially important to consider since we know he had also arrived at Coventry before Margaret but much more discreetly #and was not welcomed by any pageants that we know of. This is VERY unusual and can be best explained if we consider the fact that he #may have simply not been in the right state (be it physical or state of mind) for it at the time #in which case the pageants for Margaret should be viewed as more of a improvisation/cover-up/temporary measure to bolster prestige #or Henry may have deliberately taken a more discreet role to emphasize the position of his heir - especially important after the long wait #imo I think Kipling's interpretation (ie: that they addressed Margaret but really referenced the prince & heir) makes a lot more sense: #'Coventry [...] regarded Margaret's entry as a kind of triumph-by-proxy: the Queen entered the city but Coventry received its Prince' #though I think he tends to view Margaret as more of a cipher (and has a very questionable view of Henry VI) which I also don't agree with. #The pageants very much DID focus on and reference her but they most prominently emphasized her 'motherhood and duties as queen' #ie: I think Kipling and Laynesmith tip too far on opposite sides and I think this interpretation takes the most realistic middle ground

[sysig]

This is a very serious story about a man named Stanley (Patreon)

#Doodles #The Stanley Parable #TSP #Just kidding I tricked you it's more silly fluff! But it is still about Stanley haha #Starting off with just some general doodles because Fun To Draw <3 #I was trying to draw Stanley pursing his lips from a side angle 'cause lip expressions are something I struggle with and yup! That tracks #He does look cute tho haha spacey boy thinking in emoticons #More Narra floof - trying to even out his hair but it's harder than I thought! Hm! #The ''long side'' (really just the side opposite of his part) has more volume so it's hard to get them to convincingly ''match'' lol #Doesn't help when he has it all mussed haha #Sleepy lads <3 Sleeping together but so grumpily barely touching! No snuggles! Protect the chest and don't get cozy! #Yeah that lasted all of like five minutes once they were both asleep lol Stanley must cuddle the warm spot on his mattress haha #I'm quite pleased with that one especially haha ♫ Sin looks so open and unbothered and relaxed and his hand ah <3 #Narra's so put out (but he does secretly like to be snuggled. He's never admit it tho!) #You might notice I also tried a different eyelid fold style for funsies in the first Stanley-solo and them sleeping together #It was in fact funsies! Haha #I still like the simple dot-folds but every once in a while it's fun >:3c #Capping off with more size silliness hehe - if he can go very big why not very small! Put a Narrator in your pocket and walk around with him #He'll complain the whole time that your pocket is cramped and you did a bad job in picking fabric haha #Oh but he'd be especially cute in Stanley's breast pocket <3 #Also he's not speaking in that one I just didn't know how else to express that thought about Narra being So y'know? Lol #Cute lads <3

[solar-halos]

it is quite a special mood board monday. since i have run out of mood boards to make, i decided to make one for the first few chapters of carrick bend by @pain-somnia aka my favorite odesta fic rn. tbh kinda nervous for this one since i couldn’t go off vibes alone but i guess i’m officially starting a chain of odesta fic recs now. here is the first one

#i’m sorry i rlly went “i love how this fic is odesta pov alternating 😁😁” and then only included pics that relate to annie #i had annie and johanna pics too but it was too vibes based #anyway still had fun making this #wait also side note usually when i make mood boards for my fics i can’t find pics that match my version of annie #i had the opposite problem here i was okayyy and where were these pics last mood board monday #hope u like it this is making me so shy #edit: ​sorry just looked at their tumblr and it looks like they’re inactive don’t know if that makes me more or less shy rn #mood board monday #odesta #fic rec #eek

[shopcat]

you know ☝️ a common criticism against korra is that she had natural talent for water fire and earth and was already "stacked" AND a common rebuttal for her i see in annoying comment sections is something along the lines of like "she was a flawed avatar but she did her best" and it just ?! like for the second well what a weird backhanded comment that is straight up not true and yet i see it EVERYWHERE. that she wasn't a "good" avatar. like i'm sorry but the avatar does not exist and it is a story. and she simply Is the avatar. and is a good one. and what would be the point of a narrative if there was no conflict. like how wasn't she good they can never answer either bc they don't even know what they're talking about 😭 "she left for three years" WHO GIVE A SHIT? aang left for A HUNDRED? she was 17 - 20 the entire series why would you weigh her against fully realised proper adult avatars like the BARE glimpses we see of the previous ones... in fact i'd say she was better than all her predecessors considering she was the first one to actually try treating spirits like they were you know ... beings ... and actually BEING the bridge between the worlds 😭 and the spirits being welcome to share the mortal world as it becomes more modern to enhance the magical setting is one of the most interesting cool things i've seen in the whole 'verse

and for the first it drives me a bit crazy bc like yeah i get it but that's bc we were used to the story aang gave us of a 3 act water earth fire mastery. but the thing about that is like... first of all... aang was not a Normal Avatar. he had a short time period to master all 4 elements AND master the avatar state and was literally only 12 years old. and he DIDN'T master fire or earth. and then similarly, it DID take korra until she was 17 to master fire and earth we literally see her taking an exam in her second ever scene. she was born a waterbender in the way aang was born an airbender so idr think that's an issue... i dunno after having finished tlok i just think back on every "criticism" i see against it and beyond any of the genuine criticism most of it is literally just straight up misogyny which is crazy. and obviously homophobia.

#🐾 #like. people don't like korra's story bc its not an exact mirror of aang's... they don't want a new story they wanted atla 2 #and its driving me actually crazy bc the entire point is that like yeah she could naturally bend all 3 but that's not CRAZY #it wasn't any more or less of a talent than any other single element bender would naturally possess like we see with haru and katara #for example. or idk bumi #and the point wasn't to watch her master all 4 elements it was to focus on the political and spiritual side we didn't see as much in atla #and they were able to explore in a new setting with an older more elementally experienced avatar #PLUS she DID have a bending arc anyway we SAW it she had to master air and metal AND spirit bending #like i dunno i think people are just super unfair 😭 #they also literally told us why too and if you think about it for more than one second it makes sense #the element that's the most opposite to the avatars personality is the hardest to master -> the opposite of air is earth #earth and fire are both similar in structure and personality and she is most like earth #and again would have a natural affinity for water ... but even then its like #the natural elements for the avatar ARE all four. them bending all four from childhood isn't crazy its normal

[waywardsalt]

mmmgh

#salty talks #this one is personal but not in a scary just in a i need to say this shit somewhere way #botw/totk… i do not fucking like th. like gameplay is fun puzzles are cool world is cool but like. #the lackluster story and characters honest to god drag it the fuck down for me #none of the characters are actuslly interesting and ganondorf is the only one i want to see in totk #like i got the master sword. i got it and its like whatever. i know whats up with the light dragon and i dont care #totk is making me start to dislike this version of zelda and idk how to feel abt that #no one feels like. interesting. everyone is either good or evil or a fucking side character with a paper thin life #and totk with its fucking no-nuance go kill ganondorf plot is just. stop making half of the plot take place in the fucking past #i havent really done much story stuff but like. GOD. no one in totk is meant to be morally gray its all so fucking black and white #what happened to having major characters who were morally dubious and were actually fascinating to watch #i dont like that most of the major characters in totk/botw are Good Guys and Nice To Link nobody actually interests me #i was SO excited that the lurelin pirates would be a new group of characters to contend with but no. monsters. fuck #they had a chance to maybe get into the kingdoms more dubious past concerning the sheikah and then made the sheikah barely important #and then made the yiga more of a joke instead of like. doing anything with their interesting past #no fuck you heres some all new shit that has nothing to do with what came before and the same shallow conflict and characters #theyve dipped their toes into morally dubious characters and genuinely fascinating characters and the idea that the kingdom of hyrule isnt #all that and gave more room for drawing your own conclusions and totk just hands over the most black and white experience #im playing to finish the story and finish the game i actively do not care or expect much from these characters #and it just seems like the narrative is going to bend over backwards to put hyrule as the ultimate moral good and any opposition as bad #and all but force you to accept that because it just proves that sentiment correct over and over again and its fucking bland #idk. aomething about the writing of this game fucking frustrates me esp when i think abt how past games were written #imperialist shit aside this game’s story and characters are so fucking. par for the course bland. i dont care beyond ‘oh thata charming’ #i dont think about this game’s story. it doesnt make me think it just shoves events and character actions at me and moves on #fuck. #it feels like its just. telling me shit. not giving me much room to really decide for myself. zelda is good ganondorf is bad fuck nuance ig #it seems so fucking scared of being a little bit complex. this is why i say 'i miss linebeck' i miss complicated ideas and characters #just. totk seems like it REALLY wants you to have specific thoughts about these events and characters. doing everything it can to prove #the good guys right and the bad guys wrong and having pretty much no one be in between or like. anything. its all standard

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

unrelated but i DO kinda feel guilty for my little crush for reasons i will not explain. but. yeah its wild over here tonight

#🍯 #sfw #like he casually mentioned being glad he can have friends who dont expect it to become anything more and i felt ill #so. ill stop having THOSE feelings immediately lol #but i genuinely DO love him as a friend #n he said i was one of the first ppl he felt comfy writing with #and i. am soooo emotional 2night #my friends r so important 2 me and im never gonna say SHIT bc i love him as my friend wayyy 2 much #sorry im saying this here we r just mutuals on my main so. akdhsk #also we were talking abt potential meet ups the other day and i HATE living where i live. everyone else is soo far away #one of my friends is coming 2 the states soon n i will be a 10 hr drive away. thats fuckign miserable #the guy this post was originally abt and 2 of our other friends live close enough that he could drive 2 them. and its the opposite side of #the country #i wanna get 2 meet my friends so fucking BAD #like. i cant put it into words but i wanna give them hugs and see their faces when they smile and akdbdn #when is it MY turn to meet my friends irl #my shark