#there’s parts that are very um raw on an emotional level

[yayeetsonny]

One can only take so much… before they break

(Alex Morgan X OC)

Hi, yes i know i’ve been away for a very long time, but I wanted to give this writing thing another shot to see if I still had anything left in the tank. Hopefully this isn’t the most dreadful thing you’ve ever read. So sorry if it is. Please be advised this one deals with some very strong emotions and topics. Implied mental abuse, Suicidal ideation and just overall sadness and anxiety. This will be a multi parter as my fingers got away from me lol.

This one is 99% Alex x OC, although the character’s name is never dropped as I wasn’t sure if I was going to make this an x reader fic or not. If anyone has any name suggestions at the end I’m all ears. And future parts will definitely be more USWNT x OC

3.4k Words

Everything is your fault. It always is. Why can’t you do anything right?! It all fell apart because of you! You know that, and so do they. They hate you for it. Your own mother won’t even talk to you.

“Hey, kid… Kid?…Dude!” I was so lost in thought I didn’t even hear one of my teammates calling out to me.

“Huh? What?” I looked up to see Alex looking down at me worriedly.

“Are you okay little duck?” She said squatting down so she was eye level with me. She put her hand on my cheek rubbing it softly raising an eyebrow when i didn’t say anything immediately.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I said softly, making a poor attempt at a smile but I’m fairly certain it came across as a grimace instead. I looked down and refused to look back up even though I could feel Alex trying to get me to look at her.

“Hey… what is it?” She said moving her head so she could look into my eyes, which at this point were watering and I was doing my very best to force the tears away.

“I-It’s nothing… I-I’m fine.” I said, my voice breaking. I brought my hand up to rub my eyes and I stood up and tried to make a quick get away, but Alex wasn’t having it.

“Stop, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders to try and stop me from leaving but I pushed her off and started to walk away.

“I said I’m fine, just drop it Alex. Please.” I gave up trying to stop the tears, they were freely flowing now and i let out a sob as I broke into a full sprint when I heard her starting to follow me, calling out to me. I ran passed several of our fellow national team, teammates who were watching everything unfold.

I beat her to the locker room, grabbed my stuff and made a mad dash to my car, getting in and attempting to regulate my breathing. The tears were still coming in full force, sobs racked my body as I tried and failed to calm myself down. How pathetic is this? Crying like a big baby, because your mommy made you sad? I really am weak aren’t I? No that’s not true. The girls always tell me I’m strong and that I’m their brave big girl. Yeah it’s a bit baby-ish but it gets the point across. I wrestled with my own thoughts and was so engrossed in arguing with myself that i didn’t even realize I made it back to my apartment already. I also didn’t hear my phone ringing incessantly while I drove. I hesitated a bit seeing as it was Alex, probably trying to figure out where i went. It almost went to voicemail before i decided to answer.

“Hello” my voice was raw from all the crying I did, but I sounded more tired than distraught now.

“Baby, where did you go? What happened back there? Why did you run away? Please talk to me. I’m worried about you.” She said all in one breath, I bit my lip contemplating my answer. Then i took a deep breath and decided to just bite the bullet and be at least partially truthful.

“I… um, I was going thru a-a lot during the break between camps, I mean I guess I still am going thru a lot right now, given my very apparent meltdown earlier. I-I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t do it again, I swear.” My damn voice started breaking again as the tears started back up.

“Hey, hey, hey… little one, please breathe, you’re okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. Take deep, slow breaths, in and out.” she said gently, guiding me thru some breathing exercises until my breathing was less erratic. “Can you tell me where you are please? I’m going to come get you and we’ll talk this through and maybe we can order a pizza and watch movies, what do you say?” She asked, I could tell she was trying to remain calm but I could hear her voice quiver just slightly. She was scared, and rightfully so, this isn’t the first time I’d run off and usually when i did, I became self destructive at worst and let myself rot in bed for a week at best.

“I’m at the apartment.” I said and she let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Okay good. I’m on my way, be there in 10. Stay there, please.”

I took one last deep breath before I got out of the car and made my way inside. I intended to sit on the couch and wait for her to get home but then the more i thought about having to talk to Alex about what’s been going on the more anxious i became. I started pacing and started mumbling to myself about what i was going to say and how I was going to say it. I wanted to let Alex in but I knew if I wasn’t careful I would let her in too much and I wasn’t ready for that. Being 17 and all my ability to regulate my emotions and understand them wasn’t the best as I’m sure you’ve already figured out.

10 minutes went by quickly and Alex was there before i knew it. She quickly made her way inside and dropped her bag by the door, coming up to me and taking me by the shoulders again to get me to stop pacing.

“Stop, please. You’re spiraling, what’s going on?”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what? Is it your family? Soccer?”

“Family.” I mumbled, attempting to yank myself out of her grasp but she just wrapped her arms around my torso tightly so i couldn’t run away. “Let go Alex I can’t do this. Please let go.” I kept fighting against her hold but she wasn’t relenting, and while i would’ve denied it in the moment, I needed that.

“Shh, shh bub, just relax. I’ve got you. I’m here now it’s all gonna be okay, okay? I promise. Please just let me help you.” She said softly and I finally just allowed her to fully pull me against her chest, she relaxed her grip just slightly moving one of her hands to the back of my head, stroking my hair softly, resting her chin on the top of my head. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” She whispered, and she continued to mumble reassurances to me as she rocked me in her arms slightly.

“Do we have to talk about this?” I mumbled.

“Yeah kid unfortunately we do. You know the rules when you decide to run away like you did earlier.” She kissed my head before picking me up with ease and moving us to the couch. She kept her hold on me and let me curl up into her lap, I tucked my head in the crook of her neck.

“I don’t want to.” I attempted to say firmly but it came out as a whine.

“Remember what I said? It’ll all be okay. I know this is scary but I’m not going anywhere and anything you tell me isn’t going to scare me away. I promise you. You’re my brave big girl, hmm?”

“I’m 17, you know?” I said in an attempt to seem tough.

“And that’s why i said you’re a big girl. But you’re still the baby on the team and little one to me.” She said chuckling softly. “You can do this.” she said after a moment rubbing my arm gently.

“I can do this.” I repeated to myself. I moved myself out of the safety of Alex’s arms slightly, putting some distance between us and turning to fully face her, steeling myself for the tough conversation ahead. I’m a very sensitive and emotional person so these conversations always make me cry no matter how much I try to stop it.

Do you want me to call the rest of the girls? Is this something they should know about too?”

“Too many people. Not ready, I think it’s better if I tell you everything first and then maybe only tell them the gist of it after.”

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. So you know how in between camps and during off season I go home to be with my family? Well I went and everything fell apart, and it’s all my fault. Just like everything always is.”

“Hey, no don’t say that.” She cut me off, she hates when i am self deprecating.

“Its true though. I fucked everything up. You know how my brother and I work at the same place right? Well and you know how my shift is closing? So I work 1-10pm? Which my mom hates.” She nodded her head as I was talking to let me know she was following along. “Well one night it was bad… The weather was horrendous because in my hometown we get a lot of snow. A-and so one of the days I worked I was one of the f-few people to show up and, when everything was all said and done there was a huge mess left behind from the disaster of a day we had….” I was beginning to become emotional just thinking about what had happened that night, and i hated that it still made me feel such strong emotions.

“It’s okay, do you want to keep going?” Alex asked me softly, stroking the back of my head softly. she knew sometimes that talking about things was hard for me and that i needed to take breaks in order to get the whole story out.

“Yes i need to. I can do it.” I said determinedly. Blinking away the tears.

“Anyways, it was a mess and being a “Back up Team lead” sometimes i made a decision to send everyone else home and clean up. And since my brother worked on overnights I called him and asked him to come help me clean up so that i could go home at a semi-reasonable time. He came over to help but when they wanted to send him back to his normal area he refused and he s-started arguing with his boss about how he was going to choose family over his job at the moment and they d-didn’t like that so they sent him home for the night, and he didn’t have a car so he called my mom to pick him up…” I stopped to catch my breath as i realize I hadn’t been breathing

“Shh, easy baby, nice, slow deep breaths, you’re doing so good.” She said. I hadn’t been looking at Alex very much this whole time but when I finally did I could see unshed tears in her eyes. I knew it was hard for her any time i was upset or emotional in a negative way. She gently wiped away the tears that made their way down my cheeks.

“My mom came to get him, and then she called me, and she was angry, she demanded I come home so I did and when I got there she told me she had a lot of opinions about what happened but she was just going to keep her mouth shut. She told me to get out of her sight so I did. She wouldn’t even look at me. Just like that I was transported back to when I was a little kid and she would get angry and she would just tell me she didn’t want to look at me. It felt like a knife to the chest. I didn’t understand what i did to upset her so much and I knew she wouldn’t tell me. All part of her “healing process.” I said bitterly.

“Fast forward to the next morning, I woke up to the news my brother had been fired. I called him to apologize and I asked him what our mom said to him and he said that she blames me for him getting fired. She said I should have known better. I knew how much he needed that job.” My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as I played with the strings of my hoodie.

“That wasn’t your fault, you have to know that.”

“Yes it was. It is. He hasn’t found a job since and he-he’s struggling again. You remember what happened last time he was struggling don’t you? I can’t do that again, I can’t! Everything he does, every decision he makes that’s not good is my fault. My mom wants me to be “an example” for him but he’s older! How fucking twisted is that?! Why are things never his fault?!” I yelled standing up suddenly startling Alex.

“Okay, okay let’s take a break hmm?” Alex stood up holding up her hands to show me she meant no harm.

“No! You don’t get it! Everything is my fault! My own mother thinks so! I know he’s struggling but can’t she see I’m struggling too?! ” I threw a plastic cup that was on the table across the room.

“Stop. Now. We don’t throw things when we’re upset, do you understand?” Alex said sternly.

My lip wobbled as I started crying again. “I’ve spent the last 4 years trying my very best to hold my family together through everything we’ve been thru. I got my brother the job working where i do and now I’m the reason he lost it. And now he and his girlfriend risk being homeless because she doesn’t have a job either. And if they lose their apartment they move back home with my mom, which means I’ll probably have to move back to be there with her because I can’t just leave her there by herself with them. It wouldn’t be fair. Which in turn means I’ll have to put my life on hold. The life I finally made for myself.”

I’m so tired of being emotional exhausted. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t even want to be alive anymore.”

“Woah, hold on… what do you mean by that?” Alex’s eyes widened as she processed what i said.

“I mean what I just said I don’t want to be alive anymore okay? I want the pain to stop. I need it to stop.”

The silence that followed was long and tense. I immediately regretted saying what i said. But realized i couldn’t walk it back. Alex finally took a deep breath and began speaking again.

“How long have you been feeling this way? Do you- Do you have a plan?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking as she did.

“No I don’t have a plan, I just sometimes think about how much easier it would be if I wasn’t here anymore. And sometimes I think about hurting myself but i haven’t acted on it. And i’ve been feeling this way since last year, when my mom and i got into that big blowout fight at Thanksgiving. You know she didn’t even want me moving out here? She’s never really let that fight go.” I laughed hollowly.

“Thank you for telling me, and being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy. Why didn’t your mom want you to move out here?”

“She thinks you and the girls have too much of an influence over me. She thinks you guys are “changing” me. She threatened to force me to quit playing soccer all together.”

“What? Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Didn’t seem relevant?! How’s that? If i had known that I would’ve just had you move out here permanently!”

“Alex…”

“No I’m serious! I understand you’re still 17 but you’re out of high school and you should be able to decide your own path.

“I’ve been trying, but the situation with my brother gives her more reason to say i should just quit playing.

Alex goes quietly again and I can tell she’s thinking. I can tell she’s angry. She has never really liked my mom and visa versa, their relationship is courteous at best.

“I think sometimes you forget that you’re still a kid. I know that you have had a lot put on your shoulders and that a lot is expected of you, but your brothers choices that night are not your fault and I’m sorry he’s having a hard time and he might have to move back home, which yes will be hard for your mom but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up your life for them. They will be okay. I promise you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes i do, you wanna know how I know?” She said and I nodded meekly.

“I know because your brother is strong, and so is your mom. And while i’ve never met her I’m sure his girlfriend is too. You don’t have to hold anyone else up but yourself. Not anymore. Their emotions and their… predicaments are not yours to try and fix. i don’t want you going home for a while okay? It’s clear that it’s taking a toll on you and to be frank, This is your home. Here with me, With the other girls. We have you okay? And we will never leave you. Ever.”

I turned away from her and tried to calm myself completely. I was so over all the crying and I bet you are too.

“You’re probably so sick of me crying.” I said chuckling quietly. Alex Vehemently shook her head and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my head.

“Not at all, you needed to get it out. it’s never good to hold it all in like you did, you know that.”

“I know, I just…”

“Have a hard time letting yourself be vulnerable. I know love. I know. So here’s what we’re going to do. I think writing your thoughts out might help what do you think?”

“Maybe…” i said hesitantly.

“Don’t worry no one else will read it but you. And the only way anyone will ever know anything you write down is if you tell them. And I know you going home for part of the year is to help you be able to pay your half of the rent but don’t worry about it okay? I will cover any excess we have from the missing income okay? I meant it when I said your home was here with me.”

“Alex you don’t have to-….”

“Yes i do. You’re very important to me, and I care about you and the things you need. And right now you need a bit of a break.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Anything for you kid. Now listen I also want you to really consider talking to a therapist or a mental health professional about how you’ve been feeling okay? I won’t force you but I think you might benefit from it. And please talk to me, or one of the other girls if you feel like hurting yourself. I don’t want you to think you have to go thru that alone okay?”

“Okay i will.” She’s right, it’s probably about time i go to therapy, I’m still hesitant as sharing my feelings and the things i keep inside has never been my strong suit.

“Now, how about you go take a warm shower to calm down a bit more, I’ll order some pizzas and get the girls over here?”

“I’d like that.” I smiled softly and headed upstairs to do as she suggested.

About an hour later I was showered, comfy and sitting on the couch sandwiched between Alex and Christen. A “Chrislex” sandwich if you will. Tobin was on Christen’s left, Mal, Sam, Kristie, Rose and the rest of the team were laying as close to me as they could get and spread out through out the living room. Pizza was also spread out through the room as people shared with one another. We had Moana on as the girls said I could pick and that’s my go to movie. I was so focused on the movie i almost didn’t notice my phone buzzing at my side. I looked at the text that came thru and my heart dropped as I realized who it was from… My mom.

“You need to come home.”

Is all it said. My hands instantly started shaking and I had that panicking feeling rising in my chest again. Alex looked over at me curiously and I forced the fakest smile i could muster onto my face. I’m in deep shit now…

//

To Be Continued…

There will be a part 2 and the rest of the team will be in that one more, promise. Please let me know what you think!

#uswnt imagines #uswnt #christen press #uswnt x reader #imagines #writing #alex morgan #uswnt x original character #alex morgan x orginal character

[riboonies]

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Enstars MV Review - 'Believe 4 leaves'

Hello!

I’ve wanted to do this kind of thing for a while and I hope to make it into a little series as I really enjoy these sorts of things!

Our point of discussion today will be ALKALOID’S latest mv: ‘Believe 4 leaves’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amQWzsFo-7I

I’ll start with saying I am VERY HAPPY ABOUT MAYOI BEING CENTER!! He’s vocals have always stood out to me in past songs and I think this role in the song really did him good!

I was really unsure of this concept when I first started watching as it was not what I expected at all from them- but as it went along I really enjoyed it! I’m really happy to see how Happy Elements is expanding on the way they make these mv’s!

The setting was very different from usual and gave me ‘Castle in the Sky’ vibes, which is always a good thing.

It went really well with the STORYLINE they decided to include in this- another thing Happy Elements has started putting in (another example being fine’s ‘Feather of Arc’.) Fans can interrupt what is going on which I think a lot of us will have fun with.

Aira being upset at the start caught me off guard, it was interesting to see that level of emotion.

And then we got Mayoi’s relieved smile that was somehow filled with raw emotion??

I LOVED THE CHOREOGRAPHY- Enstars MV’s tend to have some pretty good dances but this one was definitely one of the best I’ve seen. It gave me kpop vibes a lot with the style, especially the part at the very start (stream WA DA DA by Kep1er). It didn’t get boring and is one that I think some fans would really enjoy learning!

And now for the best part about the mv…. MAYOI’S VOCALS???!?

Now don’t get me wrong, I think all the members have really nice vocals and flow really well together, but Mayoi really stole the spotlight in this one.

He had a LOT of high notes- and literally all of them were very unique. Some were very raspy and sounded really funny but they fit the song so they’re still good (ex. 1:09, 1:55). And then the others were GODLIKE and made me scREAM BECAUSE LIKE OKOEE (ex. 1:44 and 2:11).

So overall this is probably one of the best enstar mv’s I’ve seen as it was good in all the parts it should be. I really hope to see more enstar mv’s like this because it was really well done! Um thank you for reading, I hope it was actually interesting for some of you! I’d like to do this again and hopefully gain more structure for how I do it! Thank you!!!

24 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

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[fanaticartisan]

The Legends always forgot how quiet he could be...

It was partly his doing, of course. When in the arena, he disengaged his shock absorbers fifteen percent so his teammates would hear him, clanking and clattering along beside them like some two-bit MRVN. That way, they knew where to look for him when shouting about their foes. They  wouldn’t jump at a crucial moment and miss their shot just because he spoke aloud. He liked when they jumped – didn’t like when he died because the enemy was still alive. So, he made himself audible.

And they forgot he could be silent.

Nights like this, where they were all aboard the ship, heading to a far-off arena in a journey that would take the better part of a day and a half, he wore that silence like an old, well-used coat. He was bored, bored, bored, and if he couldn’t kill any of his so-called companions until they got to the games, he’d settle for the next best thing: sneaking around and finding their little secrets for later torment. Sometimes a snide remark, a hint that he knew something he shouldn't and could spill their hidden weaknesses like entrails, was as good as a blade to the kidney. Some of his companions seemed like they’d prefer the latter, when certain subjects were involved.

He had to repress a laugh even now, as he crept past their doorways. He knew which Legends cried in the night. He knew who begged in their sleep, who reached for salvation that wasn’t there, for loved ones long gone, chances long lost. He knew who took comfort in ways that shamed them, and who couldn’t sleep at all for the worries that kept them up long, long after the others had succumbed to exhaustion. He’d heard it all before, a dozen times over.

But his stealthy steps slowed, then stopped, when he heard something new.

Singing.

‘Sofðu unga ástin mín. Úti regnið grætur.’

He recognized that voice, though usually its roughness and pitch were concealed through a respirator’s filter. It was strange to hear sound from within that familiar door when no light shone at the cracks.

Usually the Hound slept early, when they traveled long.

‘Mamma geymir gullin þín, gamla leggi og völuskrín.’

Revenant moved closer, drawn as if by a spider’s thinnest thread. He didn’t care if it was fascination that pulled him on, or eagerness to have caught the hunter in such a compromised situation. He didn’t let his mind calculate that far. He focused only on the stillness, the deliberation of each step placed without noise.

‘Við skulum ekki vaka um dimmar nætur.’

The metal of the door was cold against his palm as he turned the handle, slowly, so slowly. The fingers of his other hand slipped into the crack that opened just for him. He caught a glimpse of the hunter sitting on the floor – back straight, legs crossed, their form ever so slight without all that armor to protect them-

Then the axe slammed into his hand, the sparks of metal on metal illuminating a scarred face with eyes that promised death more eloquently than any spoken threat ever could. For a moment, for that flash of agony and light, he believed the promise, and knew his grunt of surprised pain would be the last noise he made before he woke up in his new body-

And then the moment was broken as a cough raked through that thin body with claws crueler than even his own. The hunter fell back, gasping and choking, fumbling in the dark until their desperate hands found their respirator. Once they’d pressed the mask to their face, once the cough stilled and their breathing steadied into a rhythm more suited to the living than the dying, did they look at him. Not the darkness, but their own self control hid their emotions from Revenant’s eye. 

Their voice had an edge of frost when they finally broke the silence. “Knocking is a courtesy that is not beneath your practice.”

“All courtesy is beneath my practice,” Revenant responded, scorn curling the edges of his words better than any smile ever could. 

He pulled his hand back through the door – or, tried to. It was stuck, nailed to the metal surface by that twice-cursed axe. He made a mental note to find another descendant of the programmer who had thought it a good idea to build pain receptors into his system and teach them the true meaning of the word, then looked back at the hunter. 

They were still standing, staring at him, one hand keeping the respirator clamped over their face, the other holding a sharp knife Revenant was more familiar with than he cared to admit.

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt,” Revenant said. “Sounded like you were having a grand old time. Are you practicing for a concert?”

The sneer in his voice seemed to have no effect on the Hound who, after another moment of consideration, sat themselves on the floor once more, keeping the knife in plain view. “It is not for others that I practice,” they said.

“You just like the sound of your own voice that much, do you..?” Revenant wiggled his hand. Hurt zinged through his arm, but the axe stayed firm. He wondered if he could reach around with his other limb to pull it free. He didn’t much care for the amount of exposure that would grant to the blade that breathed so loudly not six feet away.

“It is not for my voice that I do this,” came the calm reply. 

Revenant hated all the Legends, but right now he hated the Hound most, for their unflappable honesty, for their unbreakable politeness. However much he needled them, they were ever unwilling, or perhaps even unable, to descend to his level of petty backtalk. “Tell me then, oh mighty hunter,” he said, using enough sarcasm for them both, “As it seems I won’t be going anywhere until you’ve had your say.”

Bloodhound watched him, their lenses reflecting the yellow light from Revenant’s own eyes back at him. When they next spoke, each word was measured, answering, but not confessing. “I would like, some day, to be able to breathe freely.” A pause. “If the gods will it.”

Revenant fell silent at that. His gaze lingered on the Hound’s face, on the hand holding the respirator over their mouth and nose, on the lingering scars that traced every visible surface of facial tissue. “...by singing to enhance your lung capacity?”

Bloodhound nodded once, some of the tension leaving their shoulders. 

That caught Revenant’s attention. 

He didn’t like this. He didn’t like understanding them, or them willingly trusting him with information he preferred to steal himself. He liked even less knowing there was nothing he could do with this confession of weakness that would be a satisfactory vengeance for his current position of compromise.

He tugged at his hand with more violence than before, making the door rattle. Bloodhound didn’t flinch, and neither did their axe.

“Get me out of here,” Revenant demanded.

The hunter stood, respirator still held firm, and walked close. They waited a moment, just long enough for Revanant to glare, and to see his own reflection in those stupid goggles, before taking firm hold of the axe handle and yanking it free with a crackle of sparks.

Their calm annoyed Revenant even more than the unwilling hiss of pain drawn from his voicebox. Without another word he slammed the door in their face, meaning to storm away and find someone more fun to bother.

But he didn’t. His feet stayed where they were, inches from the closed door.

Perhaps a minute passed this way, in silence. He didn’t let himself wonder why he stayed. He waited, telling himself he was the predator awaiting the footfalls of his prey. 

But when the noise came, it was not that of booted feet against the airship floor, but of cloth rustling as the Hound lowered themselves to the ground. It was the soft brush of a back against the door, of legs being folded. It was a deep breath taken before the respirator was set aside.

And then, once more, the rough, unfiltered voice in the darkness - but so close now Revenant could almost touch it.

‘Það er margt sem myrkrið veit, minn er hugur þungur.

Oft ég svarta sandinn leit svíða grænan engireit.

Í jöklinum hljóða dauðadjúpar sprungur.’

He was going to kill them for this. He was going to make them suffer, for forcing him to stand here and listen to their voice, as raw and vulnerable as any death cry, gentle and drifting as smoke on the wind. Were they doing it on purpose, twisting the melody so mournfully that it tugged at a soul Revenant was sure he no longer had?

‘Sofðu lengi, sofðu rótt, seint mun best að vakna.’

He was going to kill them. He would make that soft voice scream in agony.

‘Mæðan kenna mun þér fljótt,meðan hallar degi skjótt,’

He would learn the words to their song just to croon it in their ear while he plunged his fist into their chest and ripped out their heart.

‘að mennirnir elska, missa, gráta og sakna.’

He’d have to stay a bit longer, though, to study the thing properly. He wasn’t sure he remembered the beginning right.

But for a second the song faltered, and Revenant felt an unexplainable pang at the thought that it was over, and the Hound was done for the night.

A flap of feathered wings. An accusing caw. From the other side of the door came that rough voice, soft and soothing. “Hush. I know. It is alright.”

Another deep breath, and they began again.

‘Sofðu unga ástin mín…’

Revenant closed his eyes. No… killing them wouldn’t be punishment enough. They’d just be dead. Better would be to find someone else to kill, to make it very public, very bloody…

‘Úti regnið grætur.’

Then, when the newspapers reported his good work, when the survivors cried on television about a robotic voice chanting in an alien language, he would meet Bloodhound’s eye across the room, and the Hound would know, and Revenant would know they knew…

And that would surely be the sweetest revenge of all.

#apex legends fanart #apex legends fanfic #revhound #revenant #bloodhound

[tennessoui]

You know one of my favorite Star Wars fic tropes? Evil, feral Anakin being horribly mistreated his whole life and hurt, and then being comforted and nursed back to health by Obi-Wan. And instantly imprinting on him, like, in a "I will kill anyone for you" way. Could be any Obi-Wan! Nice Obi-Wan for that sweet sweet hurt/comfort and kisses and turning Anakin from his murderous ways with the power of kindness! Evil Obi-Wan for sweet double trouble action and delicious obsession with each other!!

this is also one of my favorite star wars tropes!!! i love a needlessly protective and feral Anakin who distrusts everyone except for Obi-Wan.

unfortunately. um. this went a little sideways. and there is no being nursed back to health. but there's some delicious obsession and protectiveness and also future mutual obsession so i'm counting the prompt fill as like 3.5 out of 5 stars for following the prompt, which is. let's be honest, higher than most of my prompt fills. this is a bit dark and contains references to mind tricks, but there is no sex or kissing that could be construed as dub con. just like. dub con emotions i guess

(2.2k)

Quinlan has that look in his eyes, as if he’s about to say something that he knows Obi-Wan won’t like.

Carefully, Obi-Wan puts down his cup of tea and laces together his fingers in his lap. He can already feel a seed of anger blooming inside of him. Since Anakin has re-entered his life and the Temple, he’s found that this deep, swirling rage is harder to give to the Force. And easier to feel at a moment’s notice.

Like almost all the differences in his life now, this can be put on Anakin through no fault of the boy’s own.

After all, Obi-Wan thinks to himself, it is much easier to feel this sort of fury at the galaxy’s injustices when living with someone who has suffered most all of the most grievous kinds.

“Just say it, Quinlan.” Obi-Wan says.

Vos clears his throat. “Where is...your charge?”

“My charge,” he repeats, unimpressed. “You know his name.”

“I know both of his names,” Quinlan fires back. “Does he prefer Anakin or Vader?”

The anger inside of him grows larger at the mention of Vader. As if Anakin would ever prefer the name Sidious gave to him. As if he had chosen it for himself.

As if the Jedi had played no part in the birth of Vader.

“Anakin is asleep,” is all Obi-Wan says.

Quinlan makes a show of peering down the hallway of Obi-Wan’s quarters to the two closed bedroom doors. “In whose bed?”

His hands tighten into fists beneath the table. “That is a bold accusation to make.”

“Why?” his old friend’s posture is forcibly casual, slumped in his seat and hand loosely wrapped around his cup. Obi-Wan wonders if this is how he looks when he’s undercover on missions. The thought settles heavily into his stomach and makes him sit up straighter. If this is a mission to Quinlan Vos, then what is his objective? What does he want with Obi-Wan?

With Anakin?

“The boy’s legally allowed to spread his legs for anyone he wants, Obi-Wan. He's nineteen and everything.”

Obi-Wan can feel his teeth grind together. The fury in his chest is building at an alarmingly fast rate. The thought of anyone touching Anakin like that when the boy’s so obviously traumatized and in need of a tender hand--if he were a lesser Jedi, he’d snarl at Vos to leave.

“Any consent Anakin offers anyone would be dubious at best,” he snaps. “He is nineteen, but he has spent the past ten years of his life being tortured and enslaved by Darth Sidious.”

Quinlan narrows his eyes and looks over Obi-Wan’s face. “That’s not your fault,” he finally says quietly, leaning forward as if to grip his arm before he thinks better of it. “Obi-Wan, listen to me. What happened to Anakin is tragic. Awful. Despicable. But it is not your fault.”

Obi-Wan looks away, his jaw clenched tightly before he forces himself to relax. “I only blame myself for not verifying what I was told.”

“Do you blame the Jedi Council then? For sending the boy away?”

“My master begged me to train the boy, Vos. And while I was in the Halls of Healing, they sent him back to Tatooine. And no one ever checked to make sure he got there. Sidious grabbed him because we--because they allowed him to. And then spent ten years torturing and breaking down a child right under our very noses! Who would you blame, Vos?”

“Sidious,” the other man answers easily. “The Council had no way of knowing that Sidious even knew about the boy, that he was in any danger at all--”

“He was nine!” Obi-Wan roars, slamming a fist on the table, unable to swallow the dark, heavy fury anymore. “He was a child. A slave! They were going to send him back there!”

“To his mother!”

“To his chains,” Obi-Wan corrects fiercely.

Vos purses his lips and crosses his arms. “He is not a child anymore, Obi-Wan. He’s a killer. He’s dangerous. It’s worrying to me that you can’t see it. Or don’t want to see it.”

Obi-Wan wants to scoff. Anakin Skywalker is not dangerous. The boy gets night terrors, begs to be let into Obi-Wan’s bed, and can only sleep if he’s being cuddled up against his chest. He holds his blasted hand in public because he’s terrified of being separated from Obi-Wan again. He’s refused to even touch his lightsaber since the first night Obi-Wan stumbled upon him, bleeding in one of the lower levels of Coruscant. There are some days he won’t even let Obi-Wan touch him to hold him, and he shakes apart in the shadowy corner of his closet, reliving traumas Obi-Wan can’t help him with.

Dangerous. Dangerous.

“No, Obi-Wan, come on. You have to see. The boy’s turning you against the Jedi, against the Council!” “He doesn't need to," Obi-Wan says coldly. "The Jedi seem to be doing a fine job of that themselve."

“That's what I'm talking about!” Vos exclaims, waving an incensed hand. “The Obi-Wan Kenobi I knew would never say that! He would never think a bad thing about the Order, let alone say it! Let alone threaten to leave in the middle of a war if the Council didn’t grant him permission to keep the boy in his rooms! People talk, Obi-Wan! They’re not being kind!”

A thought bubbles up in Obi-Wan’s mind, vicious and sharp. Obi-Wan should not expect kindness from the Jedi. Not about Anakin. Everything they’ve ever done to and said about the boy proves that. Obi-Wan would have to abandon Anakin again to ensure the Council’s kindness and trust in him.

Obi-Wan would rather die than abandon the boy now when he needs him so obviously. He’d rather Fall than turn his back on Anakin, even if that’s what it took to stay in the Order.

“I think you should leave, Vos,” Obi-Wan murmurs quietly. “I think there is little left to say.”

His old friend stares at him from across the table in shock before he stands up without another word. At the door to his quarters, he freezes but doesn’t turn around. “You are attached, Obi-Wan. The Jedi Council will not stand for it. They will not allow it to continue.”

There’s something off with his voice, but Obi-Wan is too concerned with what he’s said to focus on anything else. “What do you mean?” he asks sharply, springing to his feet.

But Vos just shakes his head and leaves.

Obi-Wan collapses back into his seat as the door slides shut behind the man, his head buzzing with thoughts. That had sounded like a warning. Would the Council be so bold, so cruel, as to separate Obi-Wan and Anakin forcefully?

Yes, the thought flashes across his mind, followed by a swell of fury.

And then there’s a sleepy little questioning tug on the bond stretching between him and Anakin. His charge must have just woken up and found Obi-Wan still missing.

Obi-Wan tugs back, helpless against the urge to comfort Anakin. The bond explodes in a tidal wave of joy, the way it always does when Obi-Wan uses their illicit connection to communicate. He hadn’t in the early days, too afraid of the Council and the Code to do something so forbidden.

Now he cannot seem to muster enough regard for the Jedi to care. It is nice to feel Anakin in his mind, where he belongs. Where he’s always belonged.

---

In the bedroom that Obi-Wan keeps on insisting is not theirs, Vader allows his eyes to open as he slips out of meditation. He had been too forceful there at the end with Vos, fed him the exact words he needed him to tell his new master.

That sort of mind trick is too sloppy and easily discovered. It is much harder to trace emotional manipulation, especially over time. He’s been doing it for months now, the Jedis’ mental shields no match for his raw power trained to be sharp as a vibroblade.

It’s all just been a matter of slowly strengthening the other Jedis’ already existing mistrust and doubt about him, all the while crying to Obi-Wan about his past and his fears. It served to highlight the Jedi hypocrisy to his new master, and when he felt that first seed of anger grow in Kenobi’s mind, he encouraged it to grow faster.

The downside, of course, has been that Obi-Wan sees him as a scared child in need of protection. Vader is working on that too though, lengthening the touches they share and letting his shields fall at inopportune moments, like when he’s playing with himself in the fresher, so his master understands that Vader is capable of bringing him pleasure of all kinds.

It’s very important Obi-Wan understands that he can get everything he needs from Vader alone. There will be no one else, for either of them.

Sidious will die soon. The Jedi will die sooner. Vader and Obi-Wan can take their proper place, as Emperors of the Galaxy.

After Obi-Wan falls, of course.

It won’t take long now though.

Joy at the thought of one day looking into Obi-Wan’s golden eyes pushes Vader out of their bed and into the common area. He rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand a few times, and then it’s Anakin who’s crossing the space separating him from his master so he can settle in Obi-Wan’s lap.

Obi-Wan accepts him into his arms immediately, and Anakin has to fight the urge to smile in victory as he squirms in an attempt to get comfortable, only stopping when he’s straddling his master, sitting directly over his cock.

He wraps his arms around his master’s neck and buries his face in the juncture between his shoulder and throat.

Feeling daring, he licks slightly at the skin there, just to feel the way Obi-Wan’s hands tighten on his hips. “Missed you,” he murmurs, inhaling greedily.

Nothing in the entire universe smells as good as Obi-Wan, holds Anakin as gently as Obi-Wan, cares as much about him as Obi-Wan does.

He’d kill everyone in the galaxy for his master, if it was asked of him. He wouldn’t even think twice about it. And one day, soon, his master will feel the same.

Especially when his pesky Order has been dealt with, an execution order stamped with Sidious’ name. The only good thing his old master has ever given him.

The Jedi will die, Anakin will be blameless, and Obi-Wan will be safe from harm’s way. That’s why he’d had to push Vos so messily at the end there. Obi-Wan needs to be safe before the planned Order #66, and there’s no telling what Sidious will do now that Anakin has escaped.

“I heard voices,” he prompts, when Obi-Wan seems content to just sit silently and trace shapes on the bare skin of his back.

Obi-Wan hums. “Yes,” he admits. “An...old friend came to visit.”

Anakin bites gently at the skin of Obi-Wan’s throat and pulls back enough to make eye contact. He doesn’t know if his eyes are blue or gold right now, but either way Obi-Wan seems entranced by them. Riveted.

He pouts. “Your old friends never stay around long enough to meet me,” he says with a tremble in his voice, as if he cares about Obi-Wan’s old friends.

Obi-Wan reaches a hand up and thumbs over Anakin’s bottom lip. Anakin holds his breath. It’ll ruin everything if he sucks at it right now, despite how much he’s craving to map the whorls with his tongue.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan breathes out, and Anakin changes his grasp so he’s now holding tightly to the front of his robes. “I must tell you something you may not want to hear.”

The Dark inside of him roars and snarls at this statement. If Obi-Wan has decided to make him leave, Anakin will not go quietly. Anakin will kill the entire Jedi Order himself, until this glowing angel--so warm, so bright in the Force--only has him.

“The Council will try to take you away from me,” his master murmurs.

Anakin makes his eyes go round and wet. It’s not even that much of an act: he just has to think of Obi-Wan agreeing with his stupid Council, and suddenly he’s appropriately tearful and afraid.

“No, no, Anakin, don’t cry,” his master croons, grasping the back of his neck and touching their foreheads together. Then, in a firmer tone, he says the words Anakin has been waiting to here for months. “I will not let that happen. We must leave the Order. I’m sorry, dear one. I can only imagine how much you wanted this place to be your home.”

Anakin has to rip his head out of Obi-Wan’s grasp and bury it in his neck so his dear master can’t see his smirk. Oh, Obi-Wan. The man may never understand that the only thing Anakin wants is already holding him tightly against his chest.

But Anakin will remind him. Anakin will remind him for the rest of his life.

“When do we leave?” Anakin whimpers, wondering if he’s overdoing it slightly, but Obi-Wan’s grip on his back only tightens.

When Obi-Wan speaks, his voice doesn’t waver at all. There’s not a single shred of indecision in his force signature either. “Tonight,” his master says, brushing a barely there kiss against the crown of his head. “We leave tonight.”

Vader smiles in bliss and burrows impossibly further into his master’s arms, nipping at his master’s skin again, just because he knows he will not be pushed away. This is the safest place in the galaxy, and now it will be his forever.

Victory tastes sweet. Obi-Wan’s skin tastes even sweeter.

#asks #prompt fill #cw: dubious consent #due to lying and mind/emotional manipulation #ill have you know i pulled up a gif set of anakin in aotc and stared at it while writing this #obikin #vaderwan #anakin latches onto obi-wan emotionally and wont let anything happen to him #but he also does everything in his power to make sure he wont be left behind again

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

#bts tarot #bts readings #bts reactions #bts imagines #seokjin #jin #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #Hoseok #jhope #bts jhope #namjoon #rm #bts rm #bts jimin #jimin #park jimin #taehyung #bts v #jungkook #jk #jeon jungguk #hoseok #bts

[taki118]

Go Watch the Venture Brothers

So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better. 

The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch. 

So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should, 

1) Art Style & Animation

Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times. 

But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.

2) The Writing 

Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure. 

3) Character Development

Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT  that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.

4) Story Development 

Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.

5) Parody & Reference 

This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters  who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.

And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural. 

6) The Characters 

God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.

- The Monarchs

You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional  healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season. 

- Shore Leave

Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.

- Dr. Rusty Venture

They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great. 

- Dr. Byron Orpheus 

Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad. 

Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters. 

The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense. 

- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up.  - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group.  Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim​ for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!

#venture bros #the venture bros #venture brothers #adultswim #adult animated shows #animated shows #animation #go watch this show #go watch #adult animation

[shoutogepi]

His Reaction When His S/O Reveals They Have a Breeding Kink

with Hawks & Todoroki Shouto

genre : [ ✘ (NSFW!) ]  

hc prompt : how would he react when you reveal you have a breeding kink?

author’s note : so this is uhhhhhhh nasty but y’all asked for it (not that i hated writing it or anything heheheeee)

Hawks

honestly you’ve been waiting for a long time to tell him about your dirty little secret. it feels shameful to have such a weird kink, something that gets you dripping wet when you think about it. and you certainly have thought about it, many a time before when he’s thrusting into you. you’ll close your eyes, imagining him whispering those nasty words to you, instantly making you clench onto him— and he has absolutely no clue that your mind is racing with such sin.

it’s taken, well, an embarrassing amount of time for you to finally sack up and just tell him, and now that you’re here underneath him, your heart is racing in your chest. before he’d gotten home you’d been so confident that today is the day you’ll tell him, but now that he’s sucking his mark onto your throat, his rough and nimble fingers slipping underneath the hem of your panties to tug them down your thighs, your voice is silent.

when you finally manage to squeak out his name, hawks stops his assault on your neck and leans back to look at you. the tone of your voice immediately alerts him that you’re uncomfortable, and it startles him into moving his hands from your thighs to rest gently on your hips, those gold eyes peering into yours. “what’s wrong, feather?” he asks, the usual playful tone absent as his thumbs stroke across your skin. “not in the mood?”

you shake your head and look away, heat rising to your cheeks as the moment of truth approaches much sooner than you’re ready for. “i am, i just… i wanna tell you something,” you say, eyes trailing back to lock with his. “and if you don’t, i mean— it’s kind of, uh, weird— so if you’re not comfortable with it, please just forget i ever said anything in the first place, and we’ll just continue like normal, okay?”

hawks is looking at you thoughtfully, and he takes you by surprise when he presses a chaste kiss to your warm cheek.

“well, ‘yanno you’re dating a birdman, so i'm used to weird... but alright, go ahead, dove.” this man never fails to make you smile, even if this time it’s less than half-hearted, the blood rushing in your ears.

after a very uncomfortable pause, you finally say it.

“i kind of have an, um… breeding kink.”

you’re not looking at him but hawks’ eyes are the size of dinner plates. he’s absolutely floored that his sweet little bird indulges in such nasty thoughts— that something so intimate and rather, well, primal could possibly make you squirm.

you take his shocked silence as a rejection, just wanting for this embarrassing confession to be done with, and forgotten. your hands cover your face in mortification, hiding your skin so you can’t feel his judgement “oh god, we can just— please just forget I even—“

his hands grab your wrists, secure enough to pull them away from your face, but gentle enough not to shake your mess of emotions further. a sentiment unlike any you’ve seen before fills his half-lidded eyes, which hold your gaze almost magnetically.

“don’t be so mean, birdie. you’re gonna take it back before we even get to try it out?”

your flushed back hits the cool sheets as he pushes you down, crawling up your body so he hovers above you. it’s your turn to look at him with wide eyes, and that cocky grin is on his lips once more.

“want me to put a baby in you, dove? god, that’s fuckin’ sexy,” he groans, hand dancing along your jaw and dipping his thumb between your lips for you to suck on. his knee slips between your legs, pressing against your pussy so he can feel you twitch in anticipation.

red feathers shiver behind him, the only visible sign you can see that conveys how truly excited he is by the premise of breeding you. well, that and the raging erection he presses into your naked hip, his thin pair of briefs doing their best to hold back his throbbing cock.

“gonna fill you so good, feather, you’re gonna look so good all round with my kid— fuck,” he groans, ripping off his underwear and lining up his swollen tip with your slit. he’s achingly hard and a trail of precum dribbles down his length, another sign of how into this he must be.

he moans as he slips into you, and your back arches as his hips bump yours, his cock nestling all the way inside your ready core. he starts off slow and passionate, taking your leg and slinging it over his shoulder to reach even deeper.

he will not stop his impassioned assault until you’re begging for more— for him to fuck you harder, rougher, faster. and hawks is definitely a tease in bed, so he’s gonna be pretty playful, even while he’s humoring your kink.

“yeah, dove? you want me to fuck you faster? need ‘ta feel these balls fulla my kids slap your pretty pussy?”

“take it, feather— take this cock and show me how bad you wanna carry my kids. fuck yeah, louder— wanna hear you sing for me.”

“god, you’re fuckin’ soaked. y’like hearing me talk about knockin’ you up? y’like it when i tell you i’m gonna make you my mama bird?”

hawks wants to fuck you as deep as he can, so when he cums his seed covers your womb as much as possible. he knows you love it, and it drives him crazy when your pussy clenches onto him as he’s climaxing— like you’re desperate to milk him dry and take every drop of his load, so your body can become swollen with his kids. knowing that only makes him orgasm harder, and maybe he even shoots out a few extra ropes of release because of it.

he will certainly incorporate this new kinky knowledge into your regular sexual routine, and you can safely bet that he will also use it to his very satiating advantage when he’s dealing with his ruts.

GOD when he’s in a rut, this birdman will take you to the next level. his hormones are already screaming at him to mark and claim and fill you, and that extra awareness that you want the same thing just feeds it even more. pray for your pussy during these times. and thank god he has the salary he does, because you’re gonna have to keep buying new sheets, again and again.

hawks will never make you feel judged for having such a kink, because he himself embraces it wholeheartedly. it makes his cock so hard knowing that the premise of him putting a kid in you makes you that wet. he will indulge you to the absolute fullest, and when he’s finished breeding you each session, you’re gonna be worshipped like the absolute queen he regards you as.

Shouto

so if you’re dating shouto be prepared for your friends to assume you like vanilla sex. it’s not that they don’t think he’s not physically capable of fucking you into next year (he’s a pro pero, like, have you seen his muscles?), it’s that shouto has always seemed more of a reserved, analytical kinda guy to most. but as his s/o, you’re exposed to the real shouto, the sassy, suave, and kinky motherfucker.

even if he is kinky, you’re still a bit hesitant to let him know about your breeding kink. the kink is, after all, not the most conventional, and it’s a bit of a… raw and crude kink, compared to others. and of course, you’ve never really revealed this part of yourself to any of your other lovers, because you hadn’t realized you even had the kink in the first place until you met shouto himself.

but the thing is, shouto is such a kind and understanding boyfriend, that you don’t feel too intimidated to keep the kink to yourself for long. actually, it kind of just slips out one night when he’s already balls-deep inside of you, taking you from behind as you’re bent over the kitchen sink.

his fingers are hooked in your hair, bending your spine to his will with his other hand firmly planted on your waist to keep you in place. he’s fucking you so roughly that your submissive nature is oozing out of every pore, your face probably twisted into the most lewd ahegao expression possible.

it’s clear that the reservations of your natural state are tossed out the window in front of you, and it’s not like shouto is holding anything back either with the way his hips are slapping into yours, groans tumbling from his lips.

at some point he’s shifting your leg up onto the ledge of the counter so he can drill his cock into that familiar sweet spot of yours, which coincidentally is located deep inside of you, close to your cervix and therefore your womb. the stars that dance along your vision cloud your brain, and you start babbling numbly as he finds the exact spot with precision.

“p-put a baby in me,” you whimper, pussy quivering to hug his intruding length, your legs nearly shaking at the intense stimulation.

shouto’s hips halt immediately as he sucks in a sharp breath, heterochromatic gaze connecting with yours in the window reflection. for a second he’s wondering if you mean you want to start a family with him, but after examining the carnal lust simmering in your eyes, he realizes what you’re truly asking of him.

and it turns him the fuck on.

“you wanna have my baby, hmm?” he growls and thrusts into you particularly hard, slamming into that sensitive spot and drawing a broken moan out of your breath-starved lungs. the hand on your waist travels to splay against your abdomen, long fingers pressing into your soft skin. “want me to fill you up,” thrust, “flood this pretty pussy with my seed,” thrust, “and make this perfect body swell with my child?”

you’re crying out as he starts pistoning into you, this time much harder and faster than before. he’s jabbing your g-spot with the head of his cock, the veins that decorate his thick length rubbing deliciously against your velvet walls. you can’t even form words, the premise of him knocking you up dominating your brain as you beg for more, for him to give you a baby.

your pleading is really getting him there, his cock aching to just stuff your pussy with his load already, but shouto wants something more. in no time he’s flipping you around, pushing your legs up so your calves rest against his broad shoulders. his hands gripping your waist, thumbs rubbing over your stomach as he eyes your flesh, he frantically pumps himself as deep as he can inside your heat. you can’t help but clench at the look on his face, his eyes fixed on your stomach as if he’s imagining what you’ll look like, belly round with his baby.

and oh my god, his dirty talk is absolutely sinful. he’s really finding enjoyment in exploring this new kink with you. 

“you’re gonna look so gorgeous carrying my baby, angel.”

“i promise i’m gonna give you load after load, ‘til you’re round and full and— shit, you really like that, huh?”

“you’re gonna be a good girl for me, right y/n? be a good girl and say ‘thank you sir’ when i give you this cum— fuck, come on, baby— say it.”

when you both finish (it doesn’t take very long after that), you kinda just laugh together, and even though you’re still a little embarrassed that you were the one to bring it up, shouto makes you feel safe and accepted, because he seems just as into it as you.

it’s safe to say, that isn’t the last time you two explore your breeding kink. after the pair of you have become more comfortable with the kink, shouto finds himself getting perhaps even more into it than you.

he’ll research what positions he can go the deepest in, and will not be afraid to bend you into them because he knows you love it when his cum seeps into you as deep as possible.

he buys you a plug to keep his cum inside of you— “you thought i was gonna stop after just one round? don’t make me laugh, baby, we’ve got another two gos at least until you’re full enough for me to use the plug.”

his mischievous ass will make you wear it out in public, dragging you out on a date or to grab lunch with his siblings. and you have to pretend that everything’s fine, that your pussy isn’t packed to the brim with his seed while you make small talk with his clueless sister.

when fuyumi asks if you enjoyed the meal, he’s quick to answer for you, his eyes meeting yours and glittering with something darker. “oh, y/n’s absolutely stuffed. isn’t that right, angel?”

you’re sure as hell getting dessert when you return home too.

➥ masterlist

➥ prompt party masterlist

#SPPEvent #ngl got very flustered writing this #i enjoy reading breeding kink but damn if i didnt get embarrassed writing this LOL #anywhooo this is the first of many for my sppevent #hawks smut #shouto todoroki smut #shouto smut #bnha smut #mha smut

[chicgeekgirl89]

Home is Us

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand, Owen Strand, Judd Ryder, Tommy Vega, Mateo Chavez

Summary: In the aftermath of the condo fire, Carlos and T.K. seek comfort in one another. Post ep for 2x12 "The Big Heat."

A/N: This is my rather belated post ep for 2x12. And it would not have happened without @bluenet13. Literally. I agonized over this SO MUCH and she listened to all my whining and didn't let me cut the part about Marlon Blendo so I owe her everything.

AO3

The night air was cool and still, the stars sparkling brightly in the sky, but the stench of smoke obliterated any sense of peace or calm. T.K. could feel Carlos’ hand gripping his shoulder with bruising force as they burst out the front doors and onto the lawn, both of them gasping and coughing.

Tommy came running toward them. “Are you all right?” she asked urgently, eyes and hands searching for damage. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m, I’m okay,” T.K. choked out. “Carlos?”

He shook his head, coughing violently. “I’m fine too.”

“T.K.!”

His dad came charging toward him, wrapping him up a fierce hug. “Oh my god,” he breathed into T.K.’s hair and then his other arm was pulling Carlos in too, squeezing them both with every bit of strength he had. “Are you boys all right?”

“We’re good, Dad,” T.K. said, even though he was shaking violently, adrenaline coursing through his veins so fast he felt lightheaded. “What the hell? How did you guys even know we were in trouble?”

“Raymond said something earlier today and I just put the pieces together,” Owen said. “I’m so sorry, I should have figured it out sooner.”

There were sirens screaming up now, ambulances and firetrucks, and Tommy put a hand on Owen’s shoulder. “Okay, there will be time to talk about this later. Right now all of you need to get checked out by the paramedics. No objections,” she said quickly when several mouths opened to protest. “A little oxygen never hurt anybody. Come on now.”

T.K. moved follow her and then realized Carlos wasn’t behind him. He turned to find his boyfriend still rooted to the spot, staring straight ahead at the burning building. “Babe?” T.K. reached for his arm.

Carlos startled at his touch and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

He was quiet as they sat on the back of the ambulance, answering questions with yes or no answers, eyes and body listless as they checked him over for injuries. T.K. had never seen his boyfriend look so small. 

They were both given oxygen and then Tommy reappeared, blankets in hand that she wrapped comfortingly around their shoulders, her mom tendencies coming out in full force. “Is everyone else all right?” T.K. asked, pushing his mask to the side.

“They’ve all got some first and second degree burns, but they’ll heal up all right. How are you two doing?”

“It could have been a lot worse,” T.K. said. 

“Carlos?” Tommy asked, her eyes softening and taking on a new level of concern.

He met her eyes and nodded. “I’m okay.”

She looked at him a moment longer and then reached out to give his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I’m going to go check on the guys. You two stay right here and do as you’re told, got it?”

It wasn’t long before the paramedics released them with instructions to take it easy, stay hydrated, and head to the emergency room if they experienced any concerning symptoms. T.K. was still in disbelief that they’d escaped so unharmed. It was nothing short of miraculous, if you believed in that kind of thing.

Carlos spoke as they walked away from the ambulance, his voice quiet. “I should uh, I should call my parents,” he said.

“Do you want me to do it?” T.K. asked.

Carlos shook his head, already pulling out his phone. “No. No it’s um, they should hear it from me.”

He dialed, taking a shaky breath as he waited for someone to pick up. “Hey Dad.”

The conversation was painful, even from T.K.’s end. He couldn’t make out Gabriel’s words through the phone, but he could hear the unbridled fear in his voice. Carlos on the other hand sounded almost monotone, relaying the story and pertinent information in painfully exact detail, but without an ounce of emotion behind it, slipping back and forth between English and Spanish as he explained.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so upset before,” Carlos said, when he hung up.

“Yeah.” T.K. looked at his boyfriend who seemed to be refusing to look back. “Carlos? How are you doing?” he finally asked. 

“I’m good,” Carlos said, eyes darting toward him and then away. It was clearly a brush off and they both knew it. So T.K. waited.

And then he watched as his boyfriend broke in front of him, anguish and fear spilling out like a wave until they were both clinging to one another as Carlos’ quiet sobs wracked his frame over and over again.

“Shh,” T.K. soothed, struggling to provide some kind of real comfort when he felt so raw himself. “Breathe. We’re okay. That’s all that matters.”

“I should have known, I should have made the alarm company come out today.”

“Carlos listen to me, none of this is your fault.” T.K. pulled him in tighter, desperate to do something to ease his pain.

“If I had just looked around, if we had waited ten more minutes to go upstairs—“

“We had no way of knowing.”

Carlos pulled back, still shaky. “You can’t really believe that. There’s always something. I should have done better.”

T.K. cupped his face in his hands. “Baby why are you beating yourself up over this so much?”

“Because I’m supposed to protect you!” Carlos said, the words coming out on a ragged sob. “That’s my job. To keep people safe. And when it came down to it I couldn’t protect you. The person I care about most in this world I couldn’t—”

T.K. used his thumbs to wipe away some of Carlos’ tears, clearing his throat, trying to keep his own tears at bay. “Listen to me. We’re a team, remember? We protect each other. You and me. Not just you.”

Carlos shook his head, face still contorted in misery. T.K. pulled him back in again and pressed a kiss to his hair. “It’s okay to be upset. But you cannot blame yourself for this. This was not your fault, do you hear me?”

Carlos nodded against his shoulder, but T.K. wasn’t completely convinced his words had gotten through.

Carlos took a shuddering breath and stepped away, wiping at his eyes and T.K. watched the wall go back up; the one Carlos had carefully constructed around him that meant he was always completely even-tempered and never out of control. “We should uh, we should go check on your dad and everybody. Tell them thank you.”

“Yeah, sure,” T.K. said, feeling like he probably should be saying something more, but unable to find the words.

Carlos was already moving toward the group gathered at the back of the ambulance and T.K. had no choice but to follow him. “You guys all right?” T.K. asked as Judd pulled him in for a side hug.

“We’re just glad you’re both okay,” Judd told him. “Everything check out with the paramedics?”

“We both ate a little bit of smoke, but we’re okay,” T.K. said. “Honestly though,” he swallowed hard, “we probably wouldn’t be here without you guys. So thank you.”

“You’re just lucky your dad drives so fast. I didn’t know he had it in him, what with him being such a city slicker,” Billy said with a chuckle.

“My driving is impeccable and I always drive the exact speed limit. Except in emergency situations,” Owen said, casting a look at Carlos.

Carlos managed to scrounge up half a smile but didn’t say anything.

A truck came screeching to a stop just behind the ambulance and Gabriel Reyes jumped out. The man looked truly shaken, eyes wild as he ran toward them. “Carlos! Mijo are you all right?”

“I’m okay Dad,” Carlos told him as they hugged.

“Gracias a Dios. You’re all okay?” Gabriel asked, looking around the group.

“We got out just in time,” Owen said. “Minor injuries only.”

“Which is more than we can say for the condo,” Judd said. “I’m so sorry we couldn’t do more Carlos, he had that place rigged up good.”

Carlos shook his head. “You did everything you could and we’re…” he swallowed hard and T.K. could tell he was blinking back more tears, “we’re very grateful.”

“Have they taken your statements yet?” Gabriel asked. 

“Yeah, about half an hour ago,” T.K. said. Officers had come around while they were still sitting at the back of the ambulance and written down what little they knew. Nothing like telling complete strangers that you hadn’t realized your house was burning down around you because you were upstairs having sex with your boyfriend. 

“Then there’s no reason you need to be standing around here,” Gabriel said. “You know the ranch is open to you both. Your mother is worried sick, she would be very happy to have you.” He turned to look at Owen. “But perhaps you would rather be closer to work? The ranch is a bit of a drive.”

“Well of course you’re welcome to stay at my place,” Owen said. “There’s plenty of space and Buttercup would love to have you around. But I’m sure Andrea wants you close to her.”

Gabriel shook his head. “I think they’re better off here in town. Andrea will understand. There will be a lot of paperwork to deal with in the coming days, they need to be readily available.”

“Well of course, but I’m not sure how much I can provide in the way of hospitality right now. The investigators didn’t really clean things up when they left,” Owen said meaningfully.

“Not a problem,” Gabriel said, taking out his phone. “I can have a crew there in the morning. It should never have taken this long in the first place. You know sometimes they drag their feet on these things.”

“Oh it’s no problem,” Owen said, waving him off. “Worth it in the end.” 

The dads debated a while longer before they decided an exhausted T.K. and Carlos would stay with Owen for the time being to be closer to work and to their former condo for whatever overhaul was necessary. By that point neither of them really cared where they ended up as long as there was a shower and a bed waiting for them. 

Owen elected to stay at the scene with Gabriel so Judd drove Carlos and T.K. home. Neither of them said much, still in a state of shock and Judd was mindful enough not to try and fill the truck with conversation.

The house was dark, Mateo asleep for the night. Buttercup looked up as they came in and gave half a tail wag before settling back down again.

“I think I left a couple sweatshirts and pairs of pants here,” T.K. said, searching through the drawers in his dad’s guest room. 

“Mmhmm,” Carlos said. He’d sunk onto the end of the bed and was staring blankly at the wall. 

“Hey,” T.K. stopped his search and went to him, cupping his face in his hands. “Why don’t you go get in the shower? I’ll find us something to change into and bring it to you.”

Carlos nodded tiredly and disappeared down the hall. T.K. stood for a moment chewing on his lip. He felt lost, adrift, trying to process and deal with his own feelings of grief and stomach churning worry, and Carlos seemed miles away. T.K. didn’t know what to do except to try and meet his physical needs.

He managed to scrounge up a pair of sweats and a t-shirt he thought would do the job. They might be a little tight, but at least Carlos wouldn’t be sleeping in the stench of his smoky clothes.

T.K. knocked softly on the bathroom door before stepping inside and putting the clothes on the counter. “You all right?” he asked.

Carlos sniffed and cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

T.K. gathered up Carlos’ soiled clothes from the floor and dumped them into the washer, intending to add his after he had his own shower. He heard the water turn off and a minute later the bathroom door opened. “I’m done,” Carlos called softly down the hall.

“I’ll be quick,” T.K. said, switching places with him. 

The water felt good and he watched as soot and sweat and ash slithered down the drain. He took longer than he meant to, almost lulled to sleep by the soothing pound of the water against his back. Eventually it grew cool and he turned it off, stepping out to try and squeeze into a pair of sweatpants that belonged to his dad and a t-shirt he didn’t recognize but had found in the clean laundry.

T.K. left the bathroom still toweling off his hair. He crept quietly toward the guest room; Buttercup didn’t even move as he stepped over him in the hallway. Opening the door he winced when it squeaked, fully expecting to find Carlos completely sacked out in the bed, more than ready to join his boyfriend in blissful sleep.

Instead he found the room empty and a spiral of fear shot through him so fast it took his breath away. “Carlos?” he whispered, as if the man would suddenly materialize from a dark corner or the tiny closet. 

When there was no answer he turned and went back the way he’d come, stepping over Buttercup again, searching the kitchen and the living room before he made his way to the back patio. “Hey,” he said softly when he spotted Carlos sitting on the edge of the outdoor sofa.

Carlos didn’t respond and T.K. felt his worry grow heavier. “Carlos?”

His boyfriend’s shoulders hitched slightly and T.K. walked around the patio furniture to find him hunched over, tears streaming down his face. “Oh baby,” T.K. said, dropping to his knees, hands frantically reaching for him. 

“I’m sorry,” Carlos said hoarsely. “I just…I can’t…I’m trying to pull it together but—”

T.K. slipped onto the couch next to him and pulled him into his arms. “You don’t have to be okay,” he whispered, his own throat thick with emotion. “No one expects that of you.”

Carlos’ voice was hoarse and broken. “I’ve never needed saving before. Not like that.”

“Most people don’t,” T.K. said.

Carlos looked at him, eyes red and swollen. “You were amazing in there. I was…I was panicking and you knew exactly what to do.”

“You’re a police officer,” T.K. said, resting his head on top of Carlos’. “I wouldn’t expect you to know what to do in a five alarm fire. Just like you wouldn’t expect me to know what to do in a shootout.”

Carlos sighed and leaned into him. T.K. bent over and kissed his forehead. “We should try and get some sleep.”

Carlos shook his head again. “I can’t,” he said hoarsely. “I just keep thinking about it over and over again. I’m sorry I’m such a mess—“

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. Everything you’re feeling is totally normal.”

Carlos swallowed hard. “I know it was just a house. But it was mine. It was the first place I felt like I could be myself. And then you came and it was our home and I—“ Carlos bit his lip and shook his head. “It’s all gone.”

“But I’m not,” T.K. said twining their hands together. “I’m right here. You’ve got me. And I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together. Home is us.” He stroked his thumb up and down on Carlos’ shoulder.

His face sobered as he took a really good, long look at Carlos. Exhaustion and fear still radiated off of him. He looked defeated. Empty. “Let’s at least try to get some sleep,” T.K. said softly, brushing a still-damp, curl from Carlos’ forehead. “We’ll figure things out in the morning.”

He pulled Carlos to his feet and they walked hand in hand back to the guest room. Carlos looked at the clock as he got into bed and groaned. “I have a shift in five hours.”

“You’re not going to work today.” T.K. told him. “They’ll understand.”

Carlos slid down the bed onto his side, leaning up on his elbow, his free hand finding a home on T.K.’s hip. “I meant what I said before. You were incredible tonight T.K. You saved us.”

“I’m pretty sure my dad, Billy, and Judd saved us,” T.K. told him.

Carlos shook his head. “I’m serious. If you hadn’t been there—“

“But I was,” T.K. said firmly. “I was and we’re fine. We’re…going to be fine,” he amended, because god knew there was nothing fine about them right now.

Carlos was quiet for a moment and then laid down all the way so they were face to face. T.K. shifted so they were even closer, needing to feel the warmth of Carlos against his own body. “I don’t think I can sleep,” Carlos said.

“Then we’ll just lie here together,” T.K. told him softly. 

They locked eyes, both of them breathing together in the silence, just being together, holding on a little tighter than normal. “I can’t stop seeing it,” Carlos finally whispered. “I was so scared T.K. What if I’d lost you?”

“You didn’t,” T.K. said softly. He leaned in and pressed a tender, reassuring kiss to Carlos’ lips. Carlos didn’t respond so T.K. nudged him gently with his nose and then kissed him again.

It was slow at first, Carlos still drowning so deeply in loss and anxiety, but as T.K. continued to silently encourage him he began to reciprocate. First just one kiss, and then another, this one a little deeper, until they were completely pressed up against each other, hands searching for bare skin, shared breath moving between parted lips. 

Things grew heated and T.K. could feel the increasing desperation in Carlos’ kisses so he smoothed a hand soothingly down his spine, pulling back from him just a little bit, forcing him to slow down. “It’s okay,” he murmured as their lips broke apart and came back together. “I’m right here.”

Carlos responded by matching T.K.’s slower kisses, following him rather than leading.

T.K. reached between them and slowly undid the drawstring on his boyfriend’s sweatpants. Carlos broke off the kiss. “Are you sure?”

T.K. nodded, moving his hands underneath Carlos’ shirt, helping him pull it off over his head. They both needed this, to touch, to feel, to reassure themselves that they were alive, that this might have changed their night, but it hadn’t change them. 

Carlos started to roll on top of him, but T.K. gently pushed him back down until he was the one on top, chests and hips pressed together, a reversal of their positions from just hours before. Carlos’ hands landed on T.K.’s back, their eyes locking, both of them seeking comfort in the physicality of being together.

“We’re okay,” T.K. said, as much for himself as for Carlos.

Carlos nodded and then closed his eyes as T.K. began pressing kisses into his neck and chest. “We’re okay,” T.K. murmured soothingly every time his lips left Carlos’ skin. “I’m going to say it until you believe it. We’re okay. We will be okay together.”

                                           XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

T.K. woke up in the morning legs still tangled with Carlos’. It took him a moment to remember why he had a pounding headache and his muscles felt tight. Right. Burning condo. Smoke inhalation. Mad dash for their lives.

Carlos was still deeply asleep, for which T.K. was grateful. His boyfriend had drifted off in his arms somewhere around three am and T.K. had quickly followed. He managed to extricate himself without waking Carlos and pulled on some clothes before he headed out to the kitchen in search of painkillers. 

Sun was just filtering in the windows, the day already bright and clear. It was incredible how the world could continue to turn, even when everything had just crashed down around you. T.K. found some Advil, leaving it out on the counter, knowing it was likely that Carlos would be in need of some too. Then he moved their now clean, damp clothes from the washer to the dryer. They’d need to go out today and get some essentials. 

“T.K.?” Mateo asked in surprise as he appeared at the base of the stairs.  “I thought you and Carlos made up?” He paused and frowned in confusion. “Is that my shirt?”

T.K. sighed and launched into an edited version of the night’s events. “Dude,” Mateo said when he finished, a stunned look on his face. “Man that sucks. I’m glad you guys are all right.”

“Yeah, us too,” T.K. said.

“And listen, my house just totally blew up too. It was a rental, so not quite the same, but if you guys need help with any part of this process just let me know. You can borrow my car or laptop or whatever you need.”

“Thanks Mateo,” T.K. said gratefully.

There were footsteps on the stairs and Carlos appeared, eyes bleary and swollen, curls a disheveled mess. There was still a heaviness about him, but he looked better than the night before.

“Hey,” he said, wrapping an arm around T.K.’s waist and giving him a kiss, lingering slightly longer than their normal morning peck. “Hi Mateo.”

“Hey Carlos. T.K. told me about your place, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s definitely not ideal,” Carlos said with a sigh.

“Did you sleep okay?” T.K. asked.

Carlos nodded, then winced. T.K. reached for the bottle of Advil and poured him a glass of water. “Thanks,” Carlos said, swallowing down two pills.

“Did you call your captain?” T.K. asked as Mateo grabbed a protein bar and vacated the kitchen to give them some privacy.

“Yeah he’d already heard. Told me to take the time I need.”

“Good,” T.K. said.

The dryer buzzed. “That’s our clothes,” T.K. said, getting up to retrieve them. “At least you can put on a shirt that fits.”

He tossed Carlos his shirt and pants. Carlos stared down at them, a frown on his face. “You okay?” T.K. asked.

“Why did you throw a shirt at me?”

“What?”

“Last night. We were about to be burned alive and you made me put a shirt on.”

“Oh,” T.K. thought for a second and shrugged as he folded his sweatpants and set them on top of the dryer. “I don’t know. I guess I just…panicked. I was thinking that the temperature drops here at night and I didn’t want you to be cold when we got outside.”

“Our condo was hot as hell, but you were worried I’d be cold?”

T.K. bit his lip and shook his head, a sheepish smile growing on his face. “I don’t know, like I said I panicked. It was the first thought that came to me.”

“Well it was a good one,” Carlos said, slipping his arms around T.K.’s waist. “Standing out there all night with no shirt on would have been pretty uncomfortable.”

T.K. threaded his arms through Carlos’, hands coming to rest on his lower back. “You doing okay this morning?” he asked.

“Better,” Carlos confirmed. “Thank you. I think I just…needed to let it all out. I’m sorry about last night. My head was…”

“Hey,” T.K. shook his head. “No more apologies. No one has anything to apologize for, right?” He brushed a hand over Carlos’ cheek. “Do you want coffee? Or a smoothie?” His eyes went wide as a thought hit him. “Oh no!”

“What? What’s wrong?” Carlos asked, concern dropping over his face like a cloud. T.K.’s distress was so sudden and visceral that he pulled back slightly, eyes searching T.K.’s frame for some kind of injury.

T.K. felt his chest growing tight as anxiety gripped him. “Marlon Blendo! Oh my god, my dad is going to be so upset!”

“Whoa.” Carlos cupped his face in his hands. “I’m sure your dad will be okay. Blenders are replaceable.”

“Carlos he really loved that blender,” T.K. said seriously. 

Carlos chuckled. “Here I am, wondering all night long how we’re going to get through this and how you can be so calm when the world has literally gone up in flames, and now you’re losing it over a blender.”

“He was a really good blender!” T.K. pulled away from him and ran a hand through his hair as he took a few aimless steps, more thoughts striking him. “Oh my god my hoodies!”

“I will buy you new hoodies,” Carlos assured him.

“They won’t be the same,” T.K. groaned.

“Is this you finally freaking out?”

“I am not freaking out!” T.K.’s breathing had increased rapidly as panic spiraled through him. The sense of calm control he’d felt for the past twelve hours slowly started to slip away as reality set in. “Oh my god I’m totally freaking out. I can’t freak out, you’re freaking out! We can’t both be freaking out!”

“Hey,” Carlos cradled his face in his hand. “We’re okay? Remember? And if you need to freak out and lose it, that’s all right. It’s your turn. I’ll pull it together for a couple hours and you can melt down.”

“I don’t want to melt down, I want my shirt with the blue stripes on it. And that bergamot candle your parents gave us as a housewarming gift. Oh my god, Carlos all your spices from the market!”

“Come here,” Carlos said, pulling him into a hug, one hand holding him firmly around the waist, the other settling on the nape of his neck, thumb moving back and forth in a soothing motion.

T.K. let his forehead rest against Carlos’ shoulder, feeling more grounded by the strength of his boyfriend’s arms and the softness of his fingers. “Thanks,” he mumbled. 

T.K. took a breath as the weight of everything began to land on his shoulders. Losing their home. Almost losing each other. God, how was he only now feeling how terrible it all was? He’d truly thought he was okay until this very second. “We’re going to make it through this, right?” he asked. He’d been so sure last night, but now…

Carlos pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Yes. We are.”

                                       XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: When I started writing this, did I think it would end up in the boys having soft, sweet "we're so glad we're not dead" sex in Owen's guest room? Nope. No I did not. Is it all @bluenet13's fault that it happened? Possibly. Or possibly they're just too sexy and they couldn't help it. Idk.

#911 Lone Star #911 LS #Tarlos #Carlos Reyes #TK Strand #Tarlos Fic #2x12 #The Big Heat #Post Ep #Home is Us #Emotional Hurt/Comfort

[papers4me]

Fascinating concepts in Golden Kamuy Manga ( part 2)

In part 1, I listed 3 concepts that I find intriguing in Golden Kamuy ( GK), I provided short explanation of these concepts but due to issues of space couldn’t provide more examples. The previous 3 concepts were: (1). Broken men of war & death, (2) Fun dynamics & journey companion  does not equal close friendships, & (3) Perspective is where characters are truly at. In total I have 9 concepts but intend to post 3 at a time. So, here we go~

4. What breaks men of war: ( emotional ties)

in my previous post, I’ve mentioned that these men of war are not fazed by death & some are even obsessed with it. goldenkamuyhunting has kindly added that they are affected by the death of those whom they’re emotionally connected to, and provided examples. very true. However, I want to look at this concept from another perspective. As much as the constant brush with death has hardened their hearts & stole chunks of their humanity, all the characters are still human. Their humanity isn’t mostly displayed in how they treat strangers/ enemies, or men on the other side, it is presented on how easily they crumble down once you press the right button: their loved ones. They have strong emotional ties that can break them down, even now after they’ve become so drenched in blood. These ties are mostly connected to ppl who are the reason of their current perspective or their past selves. Sugimoto, the ruthless, breaks down in tears at the memory of toraji, at the idea of failing Yumi, at the thought seeing Asripa become like him: a killer. These emotional ties break him into tears & self loathing frenzy. Sadistic Nikaidou not only mourn his brother, but becomes a shell of a man, delusional, erratic, addicted to drugs & hollow. Tsukishima, Tsurumi’s right hand who kills with no hesitation, becomes all sorts of mess at the thought of Igogusa: anger, tears, loss, despair, explosive rage, self-loath coupled with low self-esteem. Tsurumi himself, the man who fondly remember running thro rain of blood, was so affected by the murder of his wife & daughter to the point of not being able to restrain himself. (many examples) but the point is, I applaud the writer for not going the path of writing these characters as emotionless hard cold blooded war veterans. They have emotions & can break into sobs. You might think they’re unable to form new emotional ties, but some can, sugimoto formed healthy independent ties with shirashi! But the issue is not the new ties. The real issue is these men of war not yet dealing with the old emotional ties from their past. Those ties are eating them from the inside. The pain is still raw!

5. Excellent portrayal of unstable psyche:

Some of these men, due to the past emotional ties, have developed unstable thinking & deep troubling thought process & reasoning coupled with the ugly brutality of war. Other writers will simply write men such as Tsurumi or Ogata as mad guys, crazy & lunatic. But Noda chose a deeper more logical & intriguing approach. Their behavior shows elements of unstable & deeply trouble thinking; little boy Ogata poisoning his mother & Tsurumi’s infatuation of being a soul snatching shinigami. What they have done is unexcused & cannot be corrected. However, they are not mindless lunatics. Both characters are mysterious & rarely allowed to have inner monologue abt their true goal. Both play on different sides & have gone through some personal journey to solidify their nihilistic belief. Both goes even deeper into the depth of seemingly unstable thought process. Ogata, lacking family love, questions the concept of pity, mercy & compassion. Embarks on a journey to prove that he’s not alone in feeling no guilt over human death. That his tragic thinking is not up-normal. Other ppl exist like me. ppl other than weird Usami. Nothing is wrong with me, so father should accept me. So tragic. Yet Ogata even with this unstable thinking is portrayed as smart with analytic thinking, skilled, seemingly not swayed by manipulators & very perceptive! Same goes for Tsurumi, extremely manipulated, cunning, intelligent & sweet talker, but was shown as a loving father as he held his daughter in his hand in most of his Japanese language teaching scenes with wilk in Russia. His family’s death deeply troubled him & changed him into the monster he’s currently is. Obsessed with their bones. Not mourning them yet. His position as the story’s villain adds to this but in a very balanced way. There are more examples, such as Usami & a number of the tattooed convicts. But the point is the writer treats the characters as human, who are capable of unstable obsession & thinking, yet can display normal behavior & excellent logical thinking as well.

( btw: I’m not putting any character with the same scale as the other, or saying they’re equal or identical. They are NOT.  I’m simply looking at a ting aspect from their behavior in light of the concept they share) 

6. No heroes:

I duno abt you. But I don’t sense that this is a story of a bunch of alliances saving the day against the big baddie. I could be wrong tho. But this story has sth that is lacking from most stories, which is: each side have winning points as much as loosing points. Meaning each side has arguments that can lead to their logical success as much as arguments that sheds some light on the holes in their plans. Even the argument that says minority groups should have their own land with their own culture, while very just in concept, the application is quite complicated. A group of ppl with no strong army sitting on a land of rich resources won’t be left alone by other nations. It never happened in the real world, & while GK is fiction, it is safe to say that Noda is aware of this as he made Tsurimi himself point this out in ch,271. Even if the minority groups get their land, they can’t preserve their own culture if they continue their old ways without adapting into new generations & without reaching out to the outside world. Once again Trsumi pointed this out while talking abt japan itself. I duno how Noda plans to solve this. But This is not even exclusive to the Auni/Japan/Russia situation. Again, the story itself is way bigger than that. Each character is not even the hero of their own story. Asirpa’s trauma of finding herself shouldering the burden of an entire culture while struggling to have a normal selfish goal like any normal girl. Sugimoto becoming her body guard while she solves an issue that he himself isn’t that much interested in! he just wanted her to be happy. More importantly he wants her to NOT be like him. Living thro Asripa while he should be trying to figure out his own path, rather than looking for salvation thro the innocent angelic Asipra or becoming a human skinning tool to get the money for Ume’s eyes treatment when she herself never asked him to! Tsukushima, desperately trying to believe that there’s at least some bigger picture good for following Trsurmi, that all the years of blood stinky hands can mean sth, somehow, in the future, so may examples. But I love the concept of grey characters so dearly, no heroes, no angels.

Disclaimer:

I know my explanation for each argument & each concept & the examples I provide can be misunderstood. But I assure you that each time I provide an example, I’m looking at a tiny aspect of a deeply complex & intriguing character that cannot be summarized into one or two concepts & is bigger than to be compared to other characters as well. Each concept is shared by a number of characters but with different approach, level & reasoning behind it. If I want to discuss a certain character in depth, I’ll do that in a post dedicated for them  alone.

Lastly, This is just a fraction of my personal opinion abt the story & characters. I’m not claiming this is how they are truly written or this how Noda intended it or even that you should share my thoughts. I just think this manga is so darn good & rich with fascinating characters!

#Golden kamuy #Saichi Sugimoto #Tokushirō Tsurumi #Tsurumi #Sugimoto #Hyakunosuke Ogata #Ogata #Hajime Tsukishima #tsukishima #nikaido #manga #Fascinated paper

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Three

Read it on AO3: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Three

“It’s not too close to where you used to live, is it?” Luka inquired nervously as they climbed the stairs to the third floor of the apartment building in the fifteenth arrondissement, not far from the Eiffel Tower.

“No, it’s fine,” Adrien assured, taking in how clean and in good repair everything was despite the building being older. “They leveled the mansion and built new homes on the lot, so it’s not a problem. I don’t think I could take seeing that building, that wall of windows, ever again, but the area itself is fine.”

“Oh, good,” Luka breathed in relief. “The last thing I’d want is to take you somewhere full of painful reminders.”

“No, this is wonderful,” Adrien stressed. “This place is really nice, and I’m so grateful to you for taking me in. Seriously. Thank you.”

“Not at all,” Luka assured with an encouraging grin as they made their way down the hall to the eighth and last door on the left-hand side. “I cannot stress what a weight off my mind it is to have you close by so that I can see that you’re safe. I’m happy to have you.”

Adrien looked down at his scuffed-up shoes as Luka pulled out the key.

“I’m really sorry to have worried you,” Adrien mumbled, shame making the tips of his ears burn. “I guess I was so caught up in my own head that I didn’t stop to think about how what I was doing would affect anyone else. I didn’t think I really mattered to anyone.”

Luka tamped down the surge of anger he suddenly felt towards Gabriel Agreste for all the years of neglect Adrien had suffered that made him think that his existence had so little impact on others.

He reached out and ruffled Adrien’s hair. “It’s okay. Apology accepted. Just stop and think next time you’re considering dropping off the face of the earth without telling anyone.”

“Sorry,” Adrien repeated, leaning into Luka’s touch.

“No worries,” Luka reiterated, increasing the pressure. “I think we all get it. Your whole life got smashed to pieces, and there was a lot going on. No one’s mad at you. We all know you were trying your best just to survive, but we were worried and mad at our own inability to do anything. Nino is still a wreck, and that Wayem guy you were friends with was completely inconsolable. Alya, Kagami, Chloé…Marinette…”

Both Luka and Adrien flinched at the last name.

“…a lot of people care about you,” Luka sighed, moving his hand to scratch behind Adrien’s ear, slipping back into their old casual intimacies as if no time had passed.

“It’s good to know that,” Adrien replied in a weak voice, swallowing back a fresh round of tears.

Internally, he laughed at the fact that he’d cried more in that single day than he had in the preceding year.

“I’m going to need to reach out to them later tonight,” Luka tentatively informed.

Adrien’s head shot up, his eyes wide in alarm.

“I don’t have to tell them you’re staying with me or even that you’re back in Paris, but they need to know that you’re safe and well,” Luka insisted, not taking no for an answer. “You don’t have to talk to them until you’re ready, but I know what it feels like to wonder if you’re dead, Adrien. They deserve to know you’re safe.”

Reluctantly, Adrien nodded. “I see your point. …I was thinking about getting back in touch with Nino and Marinette, actually. I’m not ready right now, but…yeah. I don’t want to worry them any more than I already have.”

“Good,” Luka sighed, opening the apartment door. “That settles it, then.”

He was just about to step inside when he suddenly remembered the state his apartment was currently in after The Breakup.

Luka hurriedly closed the door and groaned.

“Problem?” Adrien inquired hesitantly, eyebrows scrunching together in concern.

Luka rested his forehead against the door and took a deep breath. “…Uh…yeah. I kind of forgot that the apartment is sort of a dump right now. I think Josie mentioned how I just broke up with the woman I had planned on spending my life with six days ago?”

Adrien winced. “Oh. That’s… Sorry.”

“Yeah.” Luka blew out a long breath, straightening up and looking at Adrien apologetically. “I’m so sorry. It’s not normally like this, I swear. I just haven’t been functioning this past week.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien assured with a look of utter sympathy and understanding on his face as he reached out and placed a comforting hand on Luka’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry,” Luka repeated, voice raw as all the emotions he’d been pushing to the back of his mind resurfaced. “Sorry I’m kind of going to pieces on you out in the hallway when you’ve got so much on your own plate.”

“Shh,” Adrien soothed, coaxing Luka gently into his arms.

Luka was a little embarrassed at how quickly he melted into Adrien’s touch.

“It’s okay,” Adrien cooed, starting to rub soothing circles between Luka’s shoulder blades. “I’m really sorry that you’re having a rough time, but, honestly, the ugly part of me feels a lot better knowing that even you can be a mess sometimes.”

“I’m glad you’re able to take comfort in my suffering,” Luka laughed through tears, giving Adrien a squeeze.

“It’s just that you’re always so chill and mature and levelheaded,” Adrien teased. “You were always the one comforting me and giving advice and making me feel better about the crappy things in my life. It’s good to feel like maybe I have an opportunity to be there for you now.”

“That’s valid,” Luka agreed into Adrien’s shoulder. “…Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Adrien hummed happily, giving Luka a pat on the back.

With another sigh, Luka straightened up and opened the door. “I promise you I’m going to clean all this up starting tomorrow. Going forward, I won’t leave a mess in the common areas.”

Adrien clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “Luka, it’s seriously not a big deal. I am literally homeless; I’m not going to judge your housekeeping lapses while you’re going through a major breakup. It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t feel fine,” Luka grumbled as Adrien stepped into the apartment and got his first look at the carnage. “And you’re not homeless anymore,” Luka chided, stepping inside and locking the door behind them. “You live here now, so welcome home.”

“Thank you,” Adrien chuckled, taking in the dirty laundry, soiled dishes, pizza boxes, Chinese takeaway cartons, and half-eaten junk food refuse.

“Oh my God,” Luka groaned. “Please don’t look at it. I swear I don’t live like this all the time. I’ll clean it all up tomorrow.”

Adrien turned to Luka and pulled him into a quick hug. “I’m sorry that you’re suffering. It’s okay not to be able to stay on top of everything all the time.”

Luka was stunned into silence, not sure how to feel.

Adrien pulled back and smiled, ignoring the mess and asking, “So, where do I sleep?”

“Here,” Luka replied gratefully as he stepped over the rubbish littering the living room floor to guide Adrien to the third door on the right wall. “Kitchen is there, obviously.” He pointed straight back through the apartment.

It was an open concept layout, so the living room seamlessly faded into what would have been a nice little kitchen area with an island in the middle as a workspace and a full stove, oven, refrigerator, microwave, dishwasher, cabinets, pantry, and sink…if not for the fact that, like the rest of the apartment, it looked like a disaster zone at the moment.

“That first door is my bedroom, the middle one is the bathroom, and your room is here,” Luka oriented Adrien, motioning to the other two doors in turn before opening the one that led to Adrien’s new bedroom.

“It’s kind of spartan at the moment,” Luka informed apologetically as Adrien peeked in.

It was a more-than-reasonably-sized room with generous closet space. As far as furniture went, there was a desk, a desk chair, a bed, and a nightstand. The walls were bare of decoration, and the mattress didn’t have any sheets.

Still, it was a nice room, even in its sparseness. Natural light poured in through the large windows, making it feel warm and cheerful.

“This is really nice,” Adrien whispered, voice cracking.

Luka looked to him with a tentative smile. “You like it?”

Adrien nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Good.” Luka’s hesitant grin grew into a full-blown beam. “How much stuff do you have back at your room at the hostel where you were staying? I just want to know if we need to take the car or the motorcycle or what to go get it.”

Adrien shifted uncomfortably. “Um…nothing, actually.”

Luka blinked as he did a doubletake of the small satchel Adrien had with him.

He took a deep breath and decided, “We’re going shopping.”

Adrien’s eyes grew as big as marbles for the nth time that day. “Luka, I really don’t need anything. I already feel bad what with—”

“—Hush.” Luka pressed his fingers to Adrien’s lips. “At the very least, we need to go get you some bed linens because I don’t have clean sheets to give you to sleep on. You also need a phone so people can get ahold of you for band stuff. Those things are non-negotiable.”

Adrien bit his lip, looking more and more uncomfortable as he realized that there was no way to get himself out of placing himself further in debt to Luka.

“I’ll pay you back someday,” he promised, not sure how he would ever make good on his word.

Luka’s eyes softened, and he gave Adrien a warm smile and a pat on the head. “You don’t have to, but, if it makes you feel better, okay.”

Adrien nodded resolutely. “I will pay you back.”

 The first stop was a little SFR phone boutique, and then Luka took them to a nearby Monoprix department store.

Adrien picked out an inexpensive, plain bed set, but Luka put it back and steered Adrien over to the pricier, better quality sets with fun designs.

“I don’t want you sleeping on scratchy sheets,” Luka chided affectionately. “I know you haven’t had much these past few years, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve nice things. And while I’m aware that the options here aren’t that impressive, I want you to pick something comfortable in a colour or pattern that you like, okay?”

Adrien hesitated for a moment before going over to the more expensive sets and picking out a dark blue one with a white shooting star pattern. He looked to Luka for approval, and Luka smiled, nodding.

“Perfect. Now let’s get you some clothes,” Luka announced in satisfaction.

“I have clothes,” Adrien insisted, mortified.

Luka rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you got new clothes? I know they don’t have the best selection here, but you could probably use some new socks, underwear, pyjamas, shirts, am I right?”

Adrien pointedly didn’t look at Luka.

With a sad, sympathetic expression, Luka went over to Adrien and tugged gently on his sleeve. “Please let me buy you new clothes?” Luka pleaded softly, voice just above a whisper. “I haven’t been able to do anything for you this whole time, and I feel like, based on what you said, there were times when you really needed someone. Please let me try to make up for not being there for you. Can you do that for me?”

Adrien looked up at Luka, scrutinizing his face for a minute. “To be clear, I’m not asking you to do all this for me. Because I don’t need this. This is all your idea. I’m not making you spend all this money on me.”

Luka nodded, patiently confirming, “That’s right.”

“I’m letting you do this as a favour to you,” Adrien added uneasily.

Luka kept nodding. “Yes, and I would be extremely grateful if you’d let me.”

“And you’re doing this because you’re my friend and you care for me and you feel guilty?” Adrien verified. “Not because you pity me or you’re looking down on me or anything?”

Luka placed his hands on Adrien’s shoulders and stared him intently in the eye. “What I feel for you isn’t pity. It’s empathy and compassion, Adrien. You didn’t look down on or pity me when I was broke, did you?”

“No, of course not,” Adrien scoffed at the ridiculous notion.

“No,” Luka agreed. “You didn’t. You may have felt bad that you took for granted things that I went without, but you didn’t pity me. You were compassionate, and you shared what you had with me. You bought me gifts that I couldn’t afford for myself. I still treasure the things you gave me. They’re proof that you cared about me and wanted me to have nice things.”

“Oh,” Adrien whispered as realization dawned on him.

“Do you kind of get it now?” Luka chuckled, patting Adrien on the shoulder before stepping back.

Adrien pursed his lips, took a deep breath, and nodded. “Okay. I think…we’re probably going to have to have this conversation a couple times in the coming weeks until it really sinks in, but…I think I get it, so…let’s go shopping?” he replied uncertainly.

Luka smiled, taking Adrien by the hand and leading him to the men’s clothing section.

 They picked up a week’s worth of new clothes for Adrien and then stopped by the personal care section for bath and grooming supplies.

When Adrien insisted that he didn’t strictly need an item, Luka took to saying, “I’m buying you this because I love you”.

Adrien may have protested more frequently than necessary just to get Luka to say it.

Even back when Adrien had a home and a family, he hadn’t really heard “I love you” that much. His friends (Nino especially) had often reminded Adrien that he was loved, but it had been years since he’d last been told that.

They walked past the toy section, and Adrien stopped when a bin of stuffed animals caught his eye.

He reached out to stroke a black cat plushie, and Luka saw the wistful look in Adrien’s eyes.

Luka picked up the stuffed animal and inspected it.

“I used to have one,” Adrien hastily explained, looking away. “Nathalie gave it to me for my eighth birthday to keep me company because my father had to go out of town on a business trip and my mother went with him, so I was alone for my birthday. I named him Chat Noir…. Seeing that just reminded me.”

“Do you want this?” Luka inquired, gazing at Adrien with bottomless affection.

Adrien’s eyes said “yes”, but Adrien shook his head, responding, “No, I don’t need it.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Luka chuckled, tucking the stuffed animal into the crook of Adrien’s arm. “I asked if you wanted it.”

Adrien opened his mouth to protest, but Luka cut him off.

“I’m buying you this so that every time you look at it, you’ll remember that you’re loved,” he informed, taking Adrien by the hand and tugging him along.

“Thank you,” Adrien whispered, hugging Chat Noir the Third to his chest and smiling to himself.

 The next stop was the groceries section on the ground floor.

“I really need to do the shopping,” Luka groaned. “I’m pretty sure a sentient lifeform is growing in the fridge at this point, but I’m completely wiped today.”

He sent Adrien an apologetic look. “I kind of drank myself stupid last night, and I’m still feeling it a little. Let’s just get you some snacks to tide you over until I can go grocery shopping tomorrow morning. We can get takeaway tonight for dinner, if that’s okay.”

“I’m good,” Adrien assured. “I really don’t need anything. If you recall, I didn’t exactly get snacks much growing up either.”

“Well, take a look around and see if anything looks good,” Luka urged. “At the very least, we can pick up some mint tea and prepackaged salads.”

Adrien’s eyes grew large and misty. “You remembered.”

Luka burst out laughing, and he reached out to tussle Adrien’s hair. “Perfect Fifth, you have the most bizarre comfort foods ever. Of course I remember them. Come on.”

He motioned for Adrien to follow him to the corresponding sections of the store.

On the way, he watched Adrien closely, taking note of the things that seemed to catch his eye.

“We should have sushi sometime,” he remarked as he noticed Adrien eying the sushi bar longingly. “Would you like that?”

“I would love that,” Adrien sighed wistfully, his mouth already watering. “I haven’t had sushi in forever.”

“Maybe tomorrow for lunch before rehearsal,” Luka suggested. “We can pick some up while we’re here for groceries.”

“I’d like that,” Adrien repeated softly. “Thank you for being so considerate.”

Luka responded with a grin and playfully bumped Adrien’s shoulder with his own. “Sure thing.”

The next thing that grabbed Adrien’s attention was the cheese monger’s counter.

He looked at it sadly, his eyes growing damp once more.

“Oh my gosh,” Luka exclaimed as realization hit him. “We need to pick up some Camembert for Plagg, don’t we?”

Adrien’s hand flew out to grab Luka’s arm and stop him as he made to go over to the cheese section.

Luka frowned as the tears started to spill down Adrien’s cheeks.

“Adrien? What’s wrong?” Luka cooed.

Adrien shook his head and held up his ringless right hand.

Luka gasped. “What happened?”

Adrien kept shaking his head as he ruefully bit out the words with some difficulty. “I didn’t feel like I deserved him after everything that happened…so I gave him back to her before I left.”

Luka’s already pale skin lost its remaining colour as his stomach turned sour.

He cursed under his breath.

“And here, this whole time, I was making myself feel better by telling myself that at least you had Plagg to look after you, but…” Luka cursed again, shaking his head and getting his thoughts in order. “Do you want me to call her? I’ll call her and drive over there right now and get him back for you.”

Adrien looked up at Luka in surprise. “You…she told you?”

Luka averted his eyes and shrugged. “I figured it out. Do you want me to go get Plagg for you?”

Adrien bit his lip, looking like he was just about to say yes, but then his eyes darkened, and he shook his head. “I don’t think I can face him just yet either, but when you text Marinette later that I’m alive, could you please tell her to tell Plagg that I’m sorry and I miss him?”

“I can do that,” Luka promised, already knowing that he was going to go see Marinette the next day and get Plagg from her so that he’d be on hand the second Adrien was ready to be reunited with him.

Luka realized that the fact that he was so ready to face her again on Adrien’s behalf was rather telling.

He’d never exactly stopped loving Adrien, and he feared his feelings were just waiting in the wings to flare up at any moment.

 They returned to the apartment and spent the rest of the day getting Adrien settled in. By the time Luka pushed the rubbish off of the couch so that they could sit down and eat their dinner that evening, they were both exhausted.

“After I eat, I’m going to my room and collapsing,” Luka informed, tucking into his carton of kung pao chicken.

“Sorry to have worn you out,” Adrien apologized sheepishly as he started on his vegetable lo mein. “I really appreciate everything you did for me today.”

“No worries,” Luka assured with a half-full mouth. “I wore myself out before you were even in the picture…and, honestly, today is the best day I’ve had in a long time.”

Adrien tipped his head in surprise. “Wait. Really?”

Luka nodded. “Even before The Breakup, I was getting pretty down…. She’s in love with someone else. She’s always been in love with someone else, but I’ve never held it against her. I thought it was okay because it wasn’t like she was actually cheating on me or anything. She couldn’t be with him, so she settled for me, and I thought that was okay because that was still her picking me, but…it’s been years, and she’s still pining after the ghost of him.”

He looked up at Adrien with a smile that had been beaten down but still gotten back up on its feet. “I thought it was okay, but it wasn’t, and it had really started to wear down on me. So, today was actually really good. Concentrating on you is helping me get my mind out of the dark place it’s been living for a while now.”

“I’m really glad I could help in some small way,” Adrien replied with a tentative smile. “I hope you have more good days going forward.”

Luka nodded, going back to his dinner. “I’m sure I will. There are still going to be days where I drink myself into a coma and can’t get out of bed, but there will be days when I’m a functioning human being too. Maybe having you around will give me the kick in the pants I need to shower regularly and keep the apartment clean and eat all the meals I’m supposed to. I always do better when I’m focused on someone else.”

“I’ve seen you focus on other people too much and completely neglect yourself,” Adrien hummed softly. “…But I’m going to be around for a while, so I guess if I see you doing that, I can nag you about it.”

“Please feel free to do so,” Luka snorted in laughter. “Goodness knows I need it.”

He scooted over on the couch, cautiously invading Adrien’s space.

Adrien surreptitiously inched closer.

Luka closed the gap until they were shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. “Do you mind snuggling?” he asked even though Adrien was already leaning into Luka, resting his head against Luka’s shoulder.

“Snuggling is my favourite thing,” Adrien laughed. “You know that. How many times have I used you as a body pillow?”

“Things change. You never know,” Luka replied with a shrug. “I don’t ever want to do something that makes you uncomfortable. I know you’ve historically had a hard time telling people no and where your boundaries are.”

“Thanks,” Adrien whispered, voice full of gratitude. “But I think maybe you and I can just pick up where we left off, if that’s okay. You still feel like you, and you make me feel like a person I haven’t been in a long time.”

Luka tipped his head to the side, resting it against Adrien’s. “Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah,” Adrien hummed. “I think it is. I’ve grown a lot these past few years, but there are parts of myself that I feel like I’ve lost that I miss. There are a lot of things I want to lose and a lot of things I want to get back, so I think this is good.”

“Good,” Luka sighed, a small smile curling up the corners of his lips. “I’m feeling kind of needy lately. Snuggling sounds really good.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Adrien assured.

They ate their dinner in happy, warm silence and lingered for a while after they were through, just enjoying the company.

Finally, Luka persuaded himself to get up and take the empty containers over to the nearly overflowing rubbish bin in the kitchen.

He winced as embarrassment reared its head again. “I promise I’m going to clean all of this up tomorrow.”

“No worries,” Adrien chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s seriously fine, Luka.”

“It’s really not,” Luka grumbled. “I am not my mother. I do not go on drinking sprees and let trash pile up around me. I am a functional, responsible adult.”

Adrien got up and went over to Luka, resting a supportive hand on his arm. “You are a functional, responsible adult…and you need to cut yourself some slack. Be nice. You’re going through some stuff. That’s what you used to tell me, right?”

Adrien shot him a bolstering smile, and Luka’s lips twitched just a little in response.

“Thank you, Adrien. It’s just…this,” He waved his arms to encapsulate the entire mess of an apartment. “is not me.”

“I know,” Adrien replied matter-of-factly. “And you can fix it when you feel better. Now, off to bed with you.”

Luka pulled Adrien into a quick side-hug. “You’re the best.”

Adrien cracked up. “Please tell me that often. My self-esteem could use the boost.”

“Noted,” Luka assured, turning to head to his room.

He paused when he suddenly remembered and reached for his wallet.

“Before I forget: apartment key, credit card, cash,” he announced as he fished each item out of his wallet and set it down on one of the only clean spots on the kitchen island.

Adrien gawked. “What’s all this?”

Luka nodded to the apartment key. “I’ll have a duplicate made for you tomorrow, but if you need to go out before then, you’ll need the key. If you discover that you don’t have something you need, there’s money. I mean, I’m sure we forgot something. If you need me, just knock on my door, and if I don’t respond, come in and shake me because I’m probably stone cold passed out,” Luka concluded with a shrug.

Adrien kept staring, looking back and forth between Luka and the money in disbelief. “Aren’t you afraid of me just taking off with that?”

Luka burst out laughing. “Why would you do that?”

Adrien shrugged. “I don’t know. I told you earlier that I stole money from my aunt. You’d think you’d be a little more cautious.”

Luka rolled his eyes. “Have you ever stolen something you didn’t need? Have you ever stolen from someone who couldn’t take the loss?”

Slowly, Adrien began to shake his head.

“Okay then,” Luka declared as if that settled it. “Besides, is it stealing if I gave this stuff to you?”

Adrien pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “…No?”

“No,” Luka agreed, reaching out to pat Adrien on the head. “You’re free to go whenever you want, Adrien. I would never keep you here against your will, but I think you do want to be here, and I want you here too, so I hope you’ll stay.”

Confusion slowly overtook Adrien’s expression and he found himself asking the question that had been in the back of his mind all day: “Is all of this for real?”

Luka’s eyebrow arched questioningly. “What do you mean?”

Adrien swallowed and motioned around them. “All of this. Is this really…free? No strings attached? You really don’t want anything from me? You’re not expecting me to do anything to pay you back?”

Luka shook his head, giving Adrien what he hoped was a calming smile. “Completely free,” he assured. “No strings.”

Adrien frowned harder. “Sorry. I just…I know you’re telling the truth. I know I can trust you. I do trust you. I just haven’t been able to trust anyone in a long time, so this is really hard for me to just accept all of your kindness.”

Luka nodded, trying to imagine what it must have been like for Adrien, not even able to trust his own family. “It’s okay. I’m not offended or anything. You’ve been through a lot, and even though I have no way of really understanding that, I respect it.”

Adrien swallowed, hesitating before confessing, “People have tricked me before. People have pretended to be nice, but they weren’t actually nice. I know you’re not like that, but…people who have been nice to me have always expected things I’m not interested in giving, so I’m just kind of anxious because people get mean when you tell them no after they’ve been nice to you.”

Luka’s jaw dropped, and fear surged up into his chest. “Adrien,” he gasped. “Are you okay? Did someone…?”

Adrien shook his head rapidly. “No. No. I mean…not successfully. I’m fine. Just…you know. Close calls. It’s made me painfully aware of how vulnerable I am, though.”

He winced. “It made me realize how dangerous it can be for someone whom no one cares about. If something happened to me, no one would come looking or ask questions. It’s scary once you realize no one’s looking out for you. It makes you hesitant to trust people.”

Luka stepped forward, pulling Adrien into a hug. “Well, it’s not like that anymore, so you don’t have to be scared. You have friends here. Old ones you just need to reconnect with and new ones like Josie and Jacob and Marc. You’re safe, Adrien.”

Luka pulled back to look Adrien in the eye to make sure he was hearing what Luka was saying. “And this is your home now, not just mine. That room is your room. I’m not going to barge in uninvited or mess with your things. That’s your space, and you have door-locking privileges. Same goes for the bathroom. I want you to feel safe here.”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Adrien assured, smiling peacefully as he rested his head on Luka’s shoulder and gave him a grateful squeeze. “Sorry I’m kind of busted up. The world is sort of mean.”

“I know. Don’t worry. Everyone is a little busted up in some way or another. It’s not just you,” Luka informed.

“Thanks,” Adrien sighed as he pulled away. “Now go get some rest. You look like you got hit by a truck.”

A peal of laughter took Luka by surprise. “That is exactly what I’ve always wanted you to say to me.”

“I’ll bet.” Adrien smirked. “Go sleep.”

“What are you going to do?” Luka had to wonder.

“Monopolize your bathtub for at least an hour and then watch anime on my phone,” Adrien answered without batting an eye.

“You like baths?” Luka snickered. “Why am I just now finding this out about you?”

Adrien shrugged, his smirk growing wider. “My bathtub was one of the few things I loved about my previous domicile, and I’ve been deprived of baths for nearly five years at this point. Please take this as notice that I’m annexing your bathtub.”

“Fair enough,” Luka conceded without a fight, amused at the simple things that could bring Adrien pleasure.

“Also, I take long, hot showers, so prepare for your water bill to skyrocket,” Adrien warned.

“Noted.” Luka relaxed as Adrien seemed to become more and more comfortable making himself at home by the minute.

“And I’m going to need your Netflix password,” Adrien added to the list of demands.

Luka winced. “I don’t have Netflix.”

Adrien stared, blinked, and then cocked his head to the side. “…What?”

Luka rolled his eyes and pointed to the credit card on the counter.

Adrien looked at the card and then back to Luka. “Really?”

“Go crazy,” Luka assured. “Anything else?”

Adrien thought for a moment. “Not at present.”

“Okay. Night, night, Perfect Fifth.” He gave Adrien’s hair a tussle for good measure and turned to go.

“Good night, Orpheus,” Adrien called after him, resurrecting his own old nickname for Luka. “See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Luka echoed, savoring those words.

#Lukadrien #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #Adrien Agreste #Luka Couffaine #Fluff #Hurt/Comfort #Friendship #Friends to Lovers #Slow Burn #Pining #Mutual Pining #Roommates #Mikau's Writings #Zebras Can't Change Their Stripes

[rynnaaurelius]

Just Pirated Loki’s First Episode: The Reactions of a Comics Nerd and No-Fun MCU Hater

-Fair warning, I am a Loki fan, but not in the way, um. Pretty much everyone else on this website is

-Bless Tom Hiddleston for being such a fucking delight as Loki but the MCU straight- and cis-washes its Loki so much that I really am exhausted.

-That being said, the shout-out to the Kid Loki comics, also known as the best Loki comics, with the “your role is this” stuff was. . .well. Watch that space.

-Interesting characterization in the MCU! Can’t wait for them to fuck it all up when it threatens to get too interesting!

-God I checked the tags for the show/characters and I remembered why I stay out of the MCU fandom.

-”They killed people!”/”They enslaved a whole town!”/”They tried to take over the world!”/”He told my favorite to shut up!” This is comics, Susan, everyone’s a terrible person on some level. Pick your emotional support war criminal and go. Also, get a sense of humor.

-Lotta people bitching about the time travel logic and TVA logic need to read more comics. Fair warning: this shit’s par for the course. Like, a lot. Marvel’s getting very comics-y with its treatment of the TVA, MCU!Carol Danvers, and the Eternals (re: The whole “They were secretly there the whole time!” thing).

-I’ve seen a lot of yelling over Loki’s characterization/the morality of the TVA and Mobius and IMO it was. . .fine?

-Like, yes, the script wasn’t amazing, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Honestly, it’s better than I was expecting, and the actors did their best.

-Loki seemed fairly in-line from what I remember from 2012.

-The MCU retcons itself about everything every three years, but it looks like they’re going with the theory of Loki having major autonomy during the events of The Avengers. Probably.

-My unpopular opinion on this is that while Thanos certainly did a number on Loki to push him over the edge, supplied him with the army, and gave him this particular plan--none of which is exactly small beans--some version of this was always coming from MCU!Loki, barring major intervention.

-After the first Thor, he was always going to make a play for Earth the second Thor and Odin decided humans were all right. Thanos just happened to set the timetable.

-I mean, he’s been villain material for most of his MCU run, and it’s frankly hilarious how Marvel keeps being forced to bring him back because they can’t do villains for shit and how you can tell when they have to with each shift of his arc trajectory.

-Like everyone else in this godforsaken cinematic universe, his lines suffer from being post-Joss Whedon’s directorial and writing contributions as well as Marvel Main Character-itis, which is not unique to this series.

-Mobius is surprisingly interesting compared with his comics-self.

-*Ducks and hides from the Loki fans*

-He’s clearly working towards something with Loki maybe beyond the whole stopping someone who’s clearly not just your common garden Tom Hiddleston!Loki thing

-What with the interesting mix of de-radicalization techniques and interrogation techniques that probably aren’t completely copacetic under the Geneva Convention, anyway.

-He’s not a Loki fanboy in the comics, but after having to sit through MCU!Wanda, I’m just bracing myself here for the changes. It’s not like Mobius is much of a character in the comics, anyway.

-Like, his morality is of the TVA, but his priorities in keeping Loki alive and un-reset go a bit beyond what his comics self would, probably.

-Anyway, Owen Wilson remains as charismatic as ever and is doing a great job as him, so I like him right now, but jury’s definitely still out on his trajectory.

-So, the TVA.

-Despite the whole fan theory mess with WandaVision, I’m not unconvinced the Time Keepers aren’t secretly the Time-Twisters or something. The organization is more or less like this in the comics, but the emphasis on “Sacred Timeline” is. . .hmph.

-They monitor the multiverse in the comics. They’re not trying to avert its creation, and the Time-Twisters destroy realities as their schtick.

-Also, the multi-verse is coming, so I’m assuming that there’s going to be a twist that acts as an impetus for Loki plus Mobius and friends to blow the organization wide open and cause the multiverse (Probably re-forming the organization and giving Mobius the same surprise promotion as the comics, along with an excuse to bring Gugu Mbatha-Raw back).

-*chanting intensifies* mutants mutants mutants

-They’re gonna fuck up Magneto so bad lmao

Ending Conclusions

-. . .The Big Bad of this phase is absolutely either Mephisto or Kang, right?

-I don’t see how they do Secret Invasion at this point as a feasible Big Bad without a lot of changes, Deviants were Thanos, basically, Doctor Doom can’t happen without the Fantastic Four, and anything directly tied to the mutants is out until they’re brought in.

-Think a decent dark horse candidate for the Phase 4 is also Scarlet Witch/Chthon since she’s confirmed to be reading the Darkhold--which is pretty much No. 1 on the list of Stupid Shit To Never Ever Do In Marvel Comics--upholding the fine comics tradition of Wanda being manipulated by someone evil into doing world-breaking shit.

-I can’t wait for them to straightwash Wiccan and for me to die inside, unrelated news

-It’s episode 1, so there’s a lotta ballgame left, but this is now the second show to bait the MCU Devil, which I honestly want to see if only so I can watch the world burn over it.

-Then again, they might simplify things and just make the being behind the Darkhold Mephisto instead of Chthon, which would. . .track with some things mentioned by the WandaVision showrunners about removing important scenes because stop listening to fans theorize online, dammit. It’s the Hamlet written by monkeys hypothesis played out.

-Ahem.

-Anyway. The music was nice, the actors did a great job, production value looked good, and while this episode was 95% info-dump, they made it pretty digestible.

-Also, the ‘70s-style matte painting used for one scene instead of CGI was a nice surprise and the animation was delightful.

Recommendations:

-If you’re a Loki fan convinced the MCU hasn’t done right by him since Dark World and think Taika Waititi destroyed his character, this show is probably not going to make you especially happy.

-*Checks Tumblr tags again*

-*Winces* I’m so sorry, guys.

-If you’re someone like me, who’s not the biggest MCU fan but still loves the characters and wants to see what ditch this drives into, I think the show is promising.

-If you’re an MCU casual, ditto, but without the ditch part.

-Overall: 8/10 blue-teethed French kids

#marvel #loki #loki series #loki spoilers??? #mcu #me bitching about fandom #they should end well #yeah #loki spoilers #loki laufeyson #mobius #agent mobius #loki tv show #time variance authority #tva #marvel cinematic universe #i procrastinate by theorizing

[ladyxxdaydream]

a year-in-review meme - for writers!

I thought up this writing meme for fic writers who might have been staring at the artists having their lovely and well-deserved collages of their work through the year - and wanted to join in the fun! also this works as a great reminder for those of you (and me) who’ve been thinking that they haven’t been writing as much as they want to, and allows you to go back to enjoy your old fic ;D

Rules: pick your favourite sentence from a work you posted / wrote during a month of 2020! if you didn’t write anything in any particular month, don’t worry! tell us what you were doing or use it as free space for runner-up sentences. after that, tag 8 people or more to do the meme!

That being said, here’s mine:

Tagged by: @rikacain !!

I’m tagging -- @flailinginlove @aviss @kiitsvne @stupidbadgers and @tea-blitz who doesn’t use tumblr anymore but WHATEVER. and anyone else who wants to do it! <3

~~~

JAN: (from Heavy Weight)

“Iruka felt Kakashi’s eye on him. Most people feared the Sharingan, and for good reason, but Iruka feared his real eye, his own eye. It had a way of seeing straight past Iruka’s defenses, no dōjutsu required, and deep into his soul.“

FEB: (from Old Pine)

“Do you want children?” Iruka asked, feeling like the timing was right.

Kakashi was quiet for a few moments. Iruka had learned to read Kakashi’s silences for what they were. It wasn’t hesitation like he had initially thought. Kakashi simply liked to think things through before answering immediately. Iruka liked that about him.

“I think we have four already,” Kakashi said, eyeing Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, and Sakura through the glass door.

Iruka laughed, but refrained from clarifying. He knew Kakashi understood what he meant and would answer him shortly. Iruka had also learned that Kakashi had a tendency to be indirect, before he got around to what he actually wanted to say.

MARCH: (from Mouthful)

“So, Kakashi.”  Iruka said, unable to stand still any longer.  “We both like what we see. Now what?”

 He wasn’t usually this forward, but he was feeling it tonight. All of this playful banter was riling him up—it was his favorite way to flirt.

 “I like a man whose direct,” Kakashi said, shifting his stance to lean an elbow on the table. “But hmm,” he hummed. “I don’t know.”

 He gave Iruka a seemingly bored look, as if the obvious invitation to leave together was lost on him.

 “Well, I like a man whose decisive, so I guess that rules you out.”

 Kakashi let out a hard, surprised laugh. He downed the rest of his beer, and took Iruka by the hand, pulling him out of the bar without a word.

APRIL: (from A New Chapter)

 “I don’t know how to put this,” Sakumo started, “but… what the hell is that?”

 Kakashi looked at where his Father was pointing.

 “Uh… a diaper…?” Kakashi guessed, not sure where this was going. They had about a million others, in every color and pattern you could imagine, folded and stacked in the closet. Iruka wanted to go the re-usable route, and several of his students mother’s were eager to gift them. Kakashi had been less than thrilled by the extra laundry.

“Yes. It’s a diaper, Kakashi. Very good. Tell me, did you have both eyes closed when you put it on?”

MAY: (From Cake Substitution No Jutsu)

 “What’s this?” Iruka asked as Kakashi entered the kitchen, a fully dressed Tomo whizzing past them both.

 “Ah, it’s a backpack,” Kakashi said, crossing over to Iruka excitedly. “I saw it on display in a shop window while doing Gai’s scavenger hunt. Its arms and legs are the straps, so when you wear it, it looks like it’s riding on your back.”

 Iruka smiled, turning it around in his hands, noticing the zipper and a few pockets.

 “That’s actually pretty ador—”

 Iruka stopped speaking. The tail was tightly curled up inside plastic casing still.

 “Kakashi,” Iruka said, feeling his eyebrow twitch. “Is this… is this a leash?”

 “No. It’s a Puppy Pal… with an exceptionally long tail.”

“It’s a leash,” Iruka deadpanned. “A leash for a  child.”

 “You put Tomo inside a barrier the other day as a playpen,” Kakashi said, a matter of factly. “Why can’t I have some help controlling her?”

“That’s… that’s different!” Iruka exclaimed, feeling his cheeks heat in contradiction. “Would you like it if I put  you  on a leash, Kakashi?”

 Iruka regretted it the second it came out of his mouth. He could practically see the wolfish grin forming beneath Kakashi’s mask.

JUNE: (from Use Your Imagination)

They laid in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the night through the cracked window—distant cars on the street, a lone dog barking, upbeat music wafting from a floor below them.  

Kakashi never wished for time to stop. In fact, he tried to keep himself as busy as possible—he chose a career that ate up most of his life for a reason. But right now? He wished time didn’t exist, hyperaware of how quickly it would pass before Iruka was back on a plane tomorrow.

He traced circles into Iruka’s lower back, watching as the brown skin pressed against his broke out in a wave of goosebumps. Iruka shivered, and then shifted, and Kakashi wondered if he was falling asleep.  

He selfishly continued his adorations, wanting to keep Iruka in this realm with him for a little while longer. He expanded his rake, sliding his fingers up Iruka’s spine, skirting around his scar, and back down again.

Kakashi wasn’t one to believe in divine intervention, or soulmates. He’d acted in enough corny films to almost make him hate the notion entirely. But the fact that a man as perfect as Iruka had come into his life so serendipitously—and just as scarred as he was—was something he couldn’t overlook.

It made Kakashi’s heart ache with want, before that ache traveled down, and curled into his gut.

JULY: (from Love Me As You Are)

“And then you demeaned their lives by calling them your soldiers—”

 “—is that not what they are?!” Kakashi cut across him, getting upset. “You’re as much a part of this system as I am, sensei! We both know the truth of it, whether we like it or not. I just called it by it’s name.”

“But they’re people too, Kakashi! Kids. They’re so much more than soldiers…”

“That’s not how I was treated,” Kakashi said before he could catch himself.

 Iruka’s mouth fell open with a punched sound.

 “Kakashi…”

 His tone was soft and free of the anger it held a moment ago.

 “Forget I said that,” Kakashi said, turning away, his cheeks heating up—the last thing he wanted was Iruka’s pity. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No,” Iruka said, shaking his head as he took a step towards him. “I’m not going to forget you said that. It does matter because  you matter.  You deserved to have somebody stand up for you too, Kakashi. I’m so sorry Konoha failed you.”

 Kakashi’s eyes burned with tears—he bit his tongue, refusing to let them fall. Those words pierced him straight through the heart. It was everything he never knew he needed to hear.

AUG:

um I didn’t write anything this month because my wife and I separated annnd my whole life was uprooted as I moved to a different country ksjdhgkdsj

SEPT: (from I’ll Fall, If You Do)

Their relationship was going really well. There were days where Kakashi still turned him away, usually corresponding with the mornings he had therapy. It was frustrating, because Iruka just wanted to be there for him, for Kakashi to open up to him completely, but he didn’t push. He knew that would only make it worse. They didn’t fight anymore, but Iruka regularly had to correct the language Kakashi used towards himself, and sometimes it was irritating for the both  of them.

But mostly… it was amazing. Their chemistry was incredible. Electric. And not just in the bedroom—they were never far from each other, drawn in like magnets, grounded by a simple touch or brush of hands. Kakashi hadn’t even left the room twenty minutes ago, and already Iruka felt the pull.

He jumped up from his seat and went to go find him.

OCT: (From Language Gap)

Iruka glanced out the bus window, his body instinctively knowing where they were about to pass. The building was still empty twenty years later, the brick still scorched, and Iruka’s nightmares were still plagued by the fire despite not being there when it broke out. He’d been sent on a delivery on foot — one steaming container of karē udon — two blocks away. He delivered to the same old lady everyday, and she always kept him longer than necessary, pressing sweets into his palm. When he had come back, the noodle shop was aflame. In his shocked state, he distantly heard something about a grease fire, before he was whisked away by the hand by his childhood friend Asuma, living with him and his father from that day on.

Iruka sighed and stood up, making his way towards the door since his stop was next. He really wished the city would do something about the building. Every time he saw it, it made him feel oddly exposed and vulnerable, like his past was staring straight at him.

He shook his head a little and stepped off the bus.

NOV: (From Brand New Sound)

Kakashi watched in stunned silence for a moment, trying to get his heartbeat under control as color effortlessly flowed from the artist’s hand onto the brick. Whoever this was, they had sort of become one of Kakashi’s heroes. People always said meeting your heroes was never a good idea—bound to be disappointing—because it brought them down to a human level.

But that was precisely what attracted Kakashi to this artist in the first place—the sheer, raw, humanness. The way they tackled hard emotions and vulnerability, baring everything through their work for others to see. It was honest and transformative, and Kakashi spent more nights than he could ever count wandering the streets when he couldn’t sleep, hoping to catch a mural he’d never seen before it was painted over. Sometimes he did, and sometimes he’d sit in front of ones he already knew and found new meaning in them.

DEC: (from Perks of Promotion)

“But why now?” Iruka insisted. “Why ask me out now? Right after I’ve made tokubetsu jounin? When we’ve known each other for years?”

 Oh.

Kakashi paused, the realization dawning on him. He didn’t blame Iruka for being suspicious of his intentions; he’d heard the way people said ‘the chuunin sensei’ or ‘the chuunin desk worker’ like it was some kind of insult. It always pissed him off.

Kakashi stared at his feet for a moment before lifting his head again, leveling Iruka with a serious stare. “Because I didn't think I’d live past 21. Because it took me an obscenely long time to become a barely functioning adult. Because I never had the guts before… I-I still don’t, not really, if you can’t tell by how much I’m fumbling around here,” he said with a nervous laugh.

#kakairu #my fic #hatake kakashi/umino iruka #this is VERY long #i dont expect ppl to read it lmao #but it was really fun #*sweats* yeah i picked one sentence..... #also WOW #i published something every month (sometimes twice!!) #except for august #which is... understandable #this was a really cool idea #thanks for tagging me rika :D #writer meme

[riboonies]

Enstars MV Review - 'Believe 4 leaves'

Hello!

I’ve wanted to do this kind of thing for a while and I hope to make it into a little series as I really enjoy these sorts of things!

Our point of discussion today will be ALKALOID’S latest mv: ‘Believe 4 leaves’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amQWzsFo-7I

I’ll start with saying I am VERY HAPPY ABOUT MAYOI BEING CENTER!! He’s vocals have always stood out to me in past songs and I think this role in the song really did him good!

I was really unsure of this concept when I first started watching as it was not what I expected at all from them- but as it went along I really enjoyed it! I’m really happy to see how Happy Elements is expanding on the way they make these mv’s!

The setting was very different from usual and gave me ‘Castle in the Sky’ vibes, which is always a good thing.

It went really well with the STORYLINE they decided to include in this- another thing Happy Elements has started putting in (another example being fine’s ‘Feather of Arc’.) Fans can interrupt what is going on which I think a lot of us will have fun with.

Aira being upset at the start caught me off guard, it was interesting to see that level of emotion.

And then we got Mayoi’s relieved smile that was somehow filled with raw emotion??

I LOVED THE CHOREOGRAPHY- Enstars MV’s tend to have some pretty good dances but this one was definitely one of the best I’ve seen. It gave me kpop vibes a lot with the style, especially the part at the very start (stream WA DA DA by Kep1er). It didn’t get boring and is one that I think some fans would really enjoy learning!

And now for the best part about the mv…. MAYOI’S VOCALS???!?

Now don’t get me wrong, I think all the members have really nice vocals and flow really well together, but Mayoi really stole the spotlight in this one.

He had a LOT of high notes- and literally all of them were very unique. Some were very raspy and sounded really funny but they fit the song so they’re still good (ex. 1:09, 1:55). And then the others were GODLIKE and made me scREAM BECAUSE LIKE OKOEE (ex. 1:44 and 2:11).

So overall this is probably one of the best enstar mv’s I’ve seen as it was good in all the parts it should be. I really hope to see more enstar mv’s like this because it was really well done! Um thank you for reading, I hope it was actually interesting for some of you! I’d like to do this again and hopefully gain more structure for how I do it! Thank you!!!

#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars mv review #alkaloid #mayoi ayase #hiiro amagi #tatsumi kazehaya #aira shiratori

[sugar-petals]

SuperM as Subs

↪ A/N. UGH these guys have me fucking spiraling. very excited to bring you this, please indulge 👀

○ warnings ⚠️ 18+, dom/sub, kinks galore, gender-neutral dom!reader

3.5k words | bullet points | this is all over the place there is so much to say i—

⌈ ten

— motto: kitten has ‘ten’ in it, but so does intense.

wowza honey

best choke out you’ll find

the stamina, too, oh lord. ten can handle a lightning fast riding without blowing up in two minutes

all while you choke him

with a waist harness on and ankles bound

bondage looks so good on him; he’s flexible and enduring. imagine a hogtie... art. 

such a beautiful man.

literally, rope marks, imagine that

we need to talk about his pain threshold as well there

things that have other guys screaming are a mere tickle to him

i can’t emphasize enough how lucky you’ll be. this fella does not have to be trained much. experience? abundant. talent? more than vast. he knows precisely how far he can go with what kind of kink. that is invaluable.

and now, the most mind-blowing part. stress: he encourages you to take it all out on him. in his mind, that’s an extra treat and a promise he gets it raw how he loves it. 

your satisfaction is his fuel, as is seeing you unwind. 

the whole progression from heavy beginnings to breathless ends

the boy needs you to go, for the lack of a better word, buck-wild

so yes, ten is your number one (pun intended) address for all things messy. he asks you to hatefuck him, you spoil him with it.

the sheer masochism of him

are you kidding me

listen i’m not a fan of the sin concept but in this case... you can sin all you want with him

tl;dr: angry sex is his thing. strong emotions. guts will be rearranged.

about the elephant in the room: yeah, this guy can bust some extraterrestrial, dazzling, sexy as hell moves

that means one thing. contortionism. you can bend him into every position you desire and fuck him like that. he’s petite but don’t worry. your babe’s strong

in fact, you can sit on his face and get one ferocious rimming daily

things will get wet wetter wettest

surprise surprise vice versa he likes his own ass filled with plugs and vibrators

the type that buzzes him into a delirium while you slap him. with his neck turning red and those pretty almond eyes going wide. 

they do hold the universe. he’s just so enthralling.

btw. talking about toys. having a fleshlight ready to make him moan and ruin his orgasm is a veeery good idea.

chances are you will draw cute english or thai interjections from him

in return, you can call him your prince and kiss him all over for aftercare. he’s no different, thinking of you as someone figuratively and literally noble to him. he’s thankful you fulfill his greatest sexual dreams. it’s true, you’ll really worship each other.

he’ll do his little mona lisa smile and doze off in your lap...

sub!ten is just priceless okay

10/10

i need a moment

⌈ kai

— motto: local strip club found bankrupt.

oh mY GOD nini

he knows how it’s done

did he go to sub school or something

you’ll find him at the stove around 6:30 AM in his apron

making you breakfast pretty much butt naked otherwise

flustered and sexy butler kim right at your service

looking very sculpted

dancing a little, as usual, he’s getting into it

in other words, you’re sure to get those eggs fried well

now, besides his skimpy clothing and waiter allure

kai as a submissive is almost definite to be an epitome of organization. he’s just good at it. period. lube and protection are always in the house.

you do your part doing maintenance for toys and cracking the occasional whip but really i mean... as the great oh sehun once said... never don’t mind about a thing when jongin gets the chance to put something in order

so lean back — kai is a service sub. he’s the type who wants to break a sweat for you

and have that very visible because he doesn’t own clothes anyway. well, well.

something more about organization

fucking according to a schedule sounds about right

you have it all planned out with a special calendar book just for that purpose

but don’t believe he’ll be boring and hyper-structured beyond that

kai is the precise opposite of dull as a lover but that’s a huge duh

he has both the acute sense of bashful romance and strong erotic feelings that come with a regular eyebrow wiggle

he likes to provoke the wild animal in his partner

reckless abandon

kai is 100% guaranteed to make you let out the beast. he enjoys feeling you go all out and grip him, pin him. everything hands-on is good.

grinding and gyrating is always part of sex. hell, even floating and flying. fuck gravity.

you need a certain level of dexterity. and hey if you don’t, you will pick it up from him in a solid minute

what i’m trying to say is that it won’t happen that the two of you rub against each other in the sheets like two blocks of wood (even when going into aftercare!). it will be fluid, ever-moving, energetic right and left with the mattress creaking all over the damn place

sex with jongin is one thing for sure: fucking fast. he won’t mess up his tempo if you know what i mean. the two of you will be thrusting and moaning until complete fatigue sets in

he whines a lot i’m telling you

it’s the surefire way to know kai is into it, being genuinely vocal is one of his best qualities as a sub

besides handling any rough pace 

this guy will have you sneaking into his gym room and have a quickie on the next best workout bench

and lord knows what else. 

the bathroom is another destination. wet!kai, the yearning romeo, is an image you won’t forget

prepare to get your hands on all of that

he’s gonna melt right into ya

and that is sub!kai for you

⌈ taeyong

— motto: vanilla? hardly heard of her.

to use an nct pun: the options are— limitless.

and another: you’re signed up for a... long flight.

and you’re gonna be the: boss

who gives it to him

and i’m warning you

he’s shy about it but

taeyong is simply insatiable. take his kinky reputation at face value.

what doesn’t he do

the softest softcore (feathers to tease him) to the hardest hardcore (edge play, hallelujah), the whole spectrum without any efforts for transitions

so you guessed it, a normal bedroom really won’t do.

neither does a standard dom

but since you’re knee deep into taeyong — go figure, you’re reading this — news flash you likely aren’t one

plug in all of your toys and cameras for date night. he needs his good dose of lube-dripping fantasy, homemade with a bunch of latex thrown into the mix

yeah i know that will escalate quickly

he wears it well i’m telling you

and also greatly enjoys you donning it for friday evening

it will frustrate him to the max which is a sight to see indeed

no other sub in super m gets harder boners over latex. that’s how it is. he’s just so drawn to the material and how much authority it gives you in particular

noona/oppa kink incarnate

hell, even daddy/mommy

he calls you that when you are forehead to forehead and catching your breath

because man these orgasms are going to get you so high, bodies gently intertwined

and very, very drenched

not just skin-wise

so let me underline this

your dear taeyong, no matter how innocently he can blink at you, gets his daily nutrient intake from cum. 

what fancy-schmancy protein shake is he interested in other than yours like literally none

put him on a leash together with baekhyun and you have two salivating, ultra dirty boys

so ready to please and swallow everything up

taeyong is a handsome handful

you’ll be horny 24/7

or 23/7 maybe because aftercare

where we revert back to adorable yong. he clings to you a lot, you nuzzle him all the time, the affection is off the charts

he’s pouty and sweet, smiling to himself

holding him tight gives him a big sense of security. 

safe to say he wants everybody to know he belongs to you in terms of PDA, too

it’s not restricted to domestic intimacy and sexual aftermath

taeyong truly has the perfect ratio of freaky and soft

god worked hard on him

⌈ lucas

— motto: when bigger is better, things get wetter...

ready for take off are we 

yukhei is one flirty crackhead you’ll love it

teasing will go back and forth

there might even be play fights and wrestling involved. messing around on sofas and carpets, you know the deal. things won’t get too rowdy, he’s being his 6′ baby self and you don’t want to use your whole bag of tricks yet vice versa

lucas eventually lets you win anyways

and acts like he’s lethally injured ffs

he’s an aquarius don’t come for him they roll that way

in comes the patient-doctor roleplay. yep that’s how the story goes

and you sure as hell get to take care of um

luke’s big lightsaber

alright

it’s throbbing a bit too much and needs medicine

so think of yourself as a jedi master training your disciple.

read: edging the living soul out of him. 

rough handjobs are just perfect

as is going on a rodeo trip getting the guy to tame those bucking hips with a lil punishment here and there. and with punishment i mean tickling even when he is close to orgasm

uh-oh

wong yukhei is a cutie pie but he has just about a bucket of cum for you spilling all over the place

he might get a lil embarrassed about it, that’s the sweetest thing

cleaning it up will be his greatest pleasure

so

ready for subby lucas yet?

he’s juicy

so what else do we have... 

(besides that he sounds like harry styles is dubbing him and that voice is going to turn you on so hard)

if his dominant doesn’t have an ounce of a muscle and biting kink that’s, how to put it, a missed opportunity

just licking him and leaving marks everywhere just has to be the biggest feast in history. you have him parade around sleeveless just to see the hickeys on his arms. 

and you don’t have to be frugal. it has to scream mine mine mine. yes, xuxi has some arm sensitivity going on. he needs your mouth on him doing chaotic stuff that leaves his jaw hanging open. to the point of you eating your brunch off his chest and shoulders.

there i said it 

breakfast with yukhei is cancelled. it’s breakfast on yukhei

as for positions: things are usually more chill and standard. just how much missionary will there be, you’ll lose count. he’s good at it. lucas has the condensed passion of ten people, it will be more arousing than you’d think. it’s also a good pause to your usual activities, you both get a chance to um take a breath

if he feels cocky, wong brathei likes to lift you up during sex and here we go again with a staring contest... which ends with a bright smile and kissing 

what did you expect

always remember this one thing. in his big himbo brain only one thought floats around and that. is. his. love. for. you.

a whipped boy

he’s irreplaceable.

patient xuxi reports speedy recovery

⌈ mark

— motto: good boys go to heaven after debuting a couple times more

sirs and sirettes, mark lee.

what did you think the “m” in super m stands for? mario, man, massive, market, model?

nope

SuperMark is what keeps the planet spinning

now here it goes

let’s get one assumption out of the way first

you’d think he fucks how he talks but you’ll be surprised

everything’s slow slow slow

the pace is very casual for someone who raps and thinks that fast

mark is just too friggin’ cute

a blushy cupcake

innocent and always curious what you’re up to

just perfect for all sorts of gentle dominance

you can reassure him when he gets nervous which happens every now and then

and put him into soft sweaters and blankets when he feels cold

maybe even building a pillow fort and just caressing him ad nauseam literally for minutes on end.

tousling his hair would be adorable beyond belief

the same goes for giving him cheesy pet names

or feeding him sweets

you can bet chocolate is his favorite. 

but it’s not just all about pampering him

keen how he is you can expect a lot of gestures of attention from mark, like carefully selected presents and foot massages

there’s a real gentleman at your hands.

a gentlemark

he might have come up with that himself 

you bet there will be lots of humor involved mark just can’t do serious sex

his intellect is yeahhh... superhuman

as much as his heart is squishy for you.

it’s hard out there. this world is tough

but mark is a safe haven to return to and have wholesome hours in bed with

30% sex, 70% aftercare.

you think that’s impossible? look into his puppy eyes and tell me all you’ll do won’t be spooning

it’s an art form and mark is just too inviting not to do a brush stroke on the canvas. 

and after you’re done spooning things are back to more caressing

a smooch left, a smooch right

for the 30% he might need a bit of outside support because his inner perfectionist compels him

so he’ll text johnny at 4:30 in the morning with urgent questions

because his mind is racing and he promised to wake you up with a set of spicy stuff

sex veteran johnny will calmly explain it to mark but also keep it short and simple

because man how early can someone text you 

and mark appreciates a crisp how-to that he won’t forget

even when you are chest to chest feeling each other’s breath and his brain almost shuts down

at the end of the day...

you say hey canada lemme get my hands on those big thighs of yours and ding ding his pants are off. he responds so easily to guidance

and his dancing skill always helps to get groovy with you

so

bust down markiana

you’re that bitch and you know it

⌈ baekhyun

— motto: you and me, relax and ch...oking

leader on the streets 

screamer in the sheets

even the most peace-loving, noise-sensitive neighbors are going to dig the things that come out of his mouth as caused by you

just how good are his lungs

imagine him making audios for you. yes, god is real.

you just hit the lotto

the things his mouth can do 

byun baekhyun is a synonym of oral fixation when will merriam webster admit it

if there’s one person in super m who can nail the picture perfect drooling ahegao face without hesitation it’s him

he will pleasure you with his tongue so vigorously

that level of spit blowing will haunt you

and the slurpi—

THE NOISES. we can’t talk about the noises. nope, nope. the noises are not meant to be described to this world. 

you’ll suffer from incurable lust once you picture it

you know what his voice can cause

that would trigger a mass hysteria

anyway. moving on. 

baeks is the type to appreciate a mix of cheek-on-cheek cuddling and getting his brains banged out

you can toss him around, grab him by the hair, fuck him absolutely stupid

while also kissing his forehead and playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. as if he doesn’t want you enough already this will have baekhyun needy for so long

he’s the king of slutty behavior

and making both of you crack up with mid-sex jokes about who knows what, suho’s butt mole or something

he’s just too hilarious. on the other hand he likes being creative and concentrated

in his free time you’ll probably find him reading erotic stories, sketching sexy stuff (i.e., well, you) in a journal, or even a manual to the kamasutra. it gets him all hot and bothered to the point where he can’t stop being chatty about it.

baekhyun’s arousal always first manifests as a wave of words or texts 

your part of the equation is distilling the essence of said texts and getting to work on that perky body of his

and praise him plenty. baekhyun loves a lot of verbal affirmations and you’re glad to shower him with it.

kink-wise: he really has a gazillion ideas to try

costumes, gags, whips, pet play, sounding, collars, semi-clothed sex, cock rings, suspensions, you name it

as the cherry on top, a three- and fourway could be part of your routine for sure. 

that being said he might have a few dicks in him physically or mechanically because geez bacon loves fucking machines and dildos

he is 100% ready to embark on one hell of an anal odyssey

how much he can stretch out you can probably guess. and he’ll make jokes about it either way to turn you on

you’ll be certain to exhaust and stuff your lil’ darling to the brim but i’m telling you what you already know

he’s gonna be the happiest ahegao boy in the world

and throw peace signs when you take pictures of him fucked out

that’s byunbaek for you. one of a kind

a subby gem

⌈ taemin

— motto: 500 points to slytherin! 

this is what you’ve been waiting for i know I KNOW

red carpets out for the sensual sub king and nation’s p.r.e.t.t.y. boy

the international bombshell blonde

a bdsm luminary

DEITY

now, listen. 

some erotic feats are truly hard to execute

but there is always one guy who’s the exception 

and his name is lee taemin

no matter how unrealistic or complex your imagination of sex with him is

with this man, most of it can become real

effortlessly

because he’s a) an open-minded lover b) rich enough to rent ten dungeons — per hour and c) closest to perfection we as a human race have ever come 

taemin is a pro at bringing all kinds of your and his fantasies to life. that’s why it’s important that you sit down to talk about how your intimate encounters could look like every other week

primarily, as far as his taste is concerned

we’ve all heard about his tales of creepypasta romance

literally he’s been an idol for so long and still comes up with new baffling ideal type stories

so according to those

he wants to be run over by you and thinks that’s hot,,, but i say... we stick to flipping him over... like on a bed,,, no car involved

this pal is macabre you have to be an embodiment of the law to rein him in

police roleplay much. arrest this provocateur!

furthermore and on a lighter note

besides being jailed

lo and behold, chained up and decked out in lace, draped on a lip-shaped art sofa is how he feels the most in his element

add a mask and a corset 

just how glamorous is he

this guy has mastered all techniques of drawing you in with the most elaborate seduction. 

tremendous!

including dance: for your eyes only. 

prepare to have your loins set on fire.

because within the 4 walls of your home his every move will be pure danger loaded with sexuality. it would be even more of a public menace than he already is when performed in front of a crowd

keep those handcuffs ready officer

because it is your mission to stop that guy 

the more restraints the better

put five harnesses on him i don’t care as long as it contains him

and once that’s done

taemin likes to be stimulated and teased with you running silk fabric all over his body

he also enjoys you creating artistic pin-up-esque photography of him

with sultry eyes and puckered lips

and no worries. taemin will put his plump lips to good use elsewhere, too. all. over. the. place. servicing his dominant is an honor.

and those moans will be like a melody.

the literal only weak spot he has

is to kiss and tell. taemin gets carried away in conversation and feels pride when the topic switches to you. so... if you lick his earlobe and call him your slave, jongin knows the very next day and finds it very entertaining. 

taemin won’t deliberately spill the beans in a group chat but one-on-one with a close friend? he’s too excited not to talk about your chemistry and lets some juicy details slip if he can’t control himself.

taemin requires a dom/me who’s definitely not insecure and wants others to know who’s boss.

on the flipside, if you enjoy voyeurism? he is your man. it’s a matter of perspective entirely.

so to speak — even his weakness is a strength.

that’s all you need to understand about him

in sum: you got yourself quite an ace 

taem will press your number and you’ll have no sorrow in the world.

we truly are blessed by his existence

peace out

© submissive-bangtan 2017-2019. all rights reserved. do not repost.

#this ended up riddled with song puns #superm #super m #super m smut #super m x reader #sub!superm #super m imagines #super m hc #superm smut #super m crack #sub!super m #sub!taemin #sub!ten #sub!lucas #sub!kai #sub!taeyong #sub!mark #sub!baekhyun #super m memes

[whenihaveyouromione]

When  Have You - Chapter 5

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you prefer. 

Follow (without spaces) ‘whenihaveyou . romione’ for extra content with this story. 

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Chapter 5

The week following Fred's funeral brought with it a tumultuous wave of emotions that Ron couldn't quite get a handle on. The pain of losing his brother was still raw, unhelped by the tears from his mother, the complete listless mood from George, and the way everyone walked around on eggshells out of fear of upsetting someone. It was the quietest the Burrow had ever been, and it unnerved Ron. 

Along with the feelings of hopelessness and sadness was the confusing — yet joyous — feelings of love he felt for Hermione. His feelings for her were growing every day, reaching a point where sometimes it became overwhelming for him and he had to be on his own for an hour or two. He realised this had left Hermione feeling confused, and perhaps slightly hurt, yet he had no idea how he was supposed to explain to her that the reason he couldn't be around her at times was because he loved her so damn much. 

After Remus and Tonks' funeral, something resembling relief had overcome him, and Ron found his relationship with Hermione taking on a whole new level of intensity. As the worst parts in the aftermath of the war were now over, and they became more confident with one another, things became more passionate, more physical, the two of them realising they had many years of unresolved tension that had been ignored and left unaddressed. 

Ron knew that not every relationship felt like this, for he had not felt even a portion of these feelings for Lavender. But with Hermione, he hoped that these high feelings of intensity were the start of something that could last forever. 

And then, along with his growing love for Hermione, was his guilt over Harry. His best friend. Despite showing up for the funerals, and seemingly letting Ginny back into his life, he still hadn't come back to the Burrow. Both Ron and Hermione had been to Grimmauld Place twice to see him, but he'd barely acknowledged their presence. The first time had been calm, but uncomfortable. The second he had been moody, and there had been lots of yelling. They never knew what they were going to get with him, and so — as frustrating as it was — they chose to keep their distance. Harry would come to them when he wanted to, so they would just have to wait. 

Summer was very, very close, and to escape the mood of the house, Ron had taken Hermione to the very edge of the Burrow's boundaries to one of his favorite trees. It was near where he and his siblings used to play Quidditch, and it overlooked the Muggle village below. 

They sat together under the tree, Hermione with a book in her lap, Ron deciding that watching her was more interesting than anything else. Overcome — like he always was lately — by those big feelings he couldn't quite grasp, he leaned over and kissed her cheek, startling her from her book. 

She closed it immediately and looked at him, smiling. He had found the one thing that worked in getting her nose out of a book: himself, apparently, and it had easily become one of Ron’s favourite tactics that he used every chance he got. 

And then began the deep kisses, the laughing, the smiling, the best moments of their time together. This alone time, this love, was the reason he got up every morning. 

They stayed like that for some time, until, most unexpectedly, she broke away and looked at him as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t quite find the words. 

“What?” Ron asked. 

“Oh… nothing,” Hermione said, and she looked very uncomfortable all of a sudden. “I was just wondering… you’ve been a bit distant from me at times, but then other times — like this — you’ve been rather… affectionate. I thought… well, I thought you might have been getting sick of always being around me.”

“What?” Ron fought back a laugh. “Sick of you? Merlin, no. Absolutely not sick of you…” He watched her for a moment, her face anxious as she awaited a response. “This is going to sound really dumb, so don’t laugh, alright... it’s just that sometimes I love you so much that I can’t be around you in fear of doing something stupid like… I dunno, some crazy dance or something ridiculous like that.”

He could tell that this amused her, and that she wanted to laugh, but she did a good job at containing it. “Oh… I see…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Ron assured her. “But that’s why I sometimes, um, can’t be around you. Quite the opposite of being sick of you.”

“So… you like doing this, then?” and she leaned forward to kiss him once more, their interruption moments earlier completely forgotten as they resumed where they’d left off.

"We'll have to come up with some boundaries if we’re going to stay friends. When I'm around, it's limited to hand-holding only."

Hermione pulled away from Ron immediately, and before Ron could even register who had spoken, she had flung herself into Harry's arms. He hugged her back. Ron climbed to his feet, noticing the big smile on Harry’s face.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione cried, "you came."

"At the wrong time, it seems," Harry said, and Hermione went faintly pink, looking back at Ron with an embarrassed smile. 

"It's good to see you, mate," Ron said, also embracing his friend. "We were wondering when you'd —"

"Wake up and stop feeling sorry for myself?" Harry said. "Stop acting like a jerk?"

"No," Hermione said, her voice soft. "When you'd start to feel like you needed your friends again."

Harry gave another smile, and it seemed genuine. He even looked better, like he'd actually slept some. Though, there was still a sadness in his expression, a hollowness that Ron wondered if it would ever completely go away. Harry had been consumed with a lot of guilt, and Ron knew he blamed himself for the deaths that had occurred. Those feelings weren’t going to resolve themselves in a matter of weeks. 

“It’s good to see you,” Ron said again. 

“Harry, everyone will be so pleased you’re back,” Hermione said. “Why don’t we go to the house? George is here now, and Ron’s mum and dad will be delighted to see you.”

Harry nodded, another smile reflecting in his still-hollow eyes, and without another word, the three of them set off across the field in the direction of the Burrow. 

As Hermione had predicted, everyone was thrilled to see Harry. Ginny, who had been drifting between Grimmauld Place and the Burrow over the past week, had given him a huge hug, and much to Ron’s disgust, kissed him, while Molly had sat him down and placed food in front of him, claiming he was far too skinny. 

For the first time in three weeks, the mood at the Burrow lifted. It felt as if everyone was finally home — well, everyone except Fred. 

By the time midday came, Bill and Fleur returned to their own home, Percy disappeared up the stairs to his bedroom, and despite Ginny trying to steal Harry for a few moments, Harry told her that he’d be with her after he caught up with Ron and Hermione. 

So after lunch, the three of them set out for the tree again. The moment they reached it, Hermione let out a gasp, turned and headed back towards the Burrow. She shouted something behind her about being back in a moment.

Settled with their backs against the tree, eyes following Hermione’s receding figure, Harry gave a wry chuckle. “I didn’t mean what I said before,” he said. “I like seeing the two of you happy together. We need some kind of happiness in these times.”

Ron went slightly red, his eyes still fixed on where Hermione had just been. “Yeah…” He turned back to Harry, who was watching him, as if waiting for him to say more. About Hermione? Talking about feelings wasn’t exactly how their friendship functioned, but a lot of things had changed over the past weeks. Ron was one of them. 

“You love her, don’t you?” Harry said. 

“Yeah, I do.” Ron hesitated, and then added, “It’s not going to be weird, is it?” The last thing he wanted was for their friendship to be affected by this new-found relationship. 

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I think I’d resigned myself to this happening eventually a long time ago.”

Ron smiled. “You want to know what the weirdest thing is?”

“Not really, but go ahead,” Harry said, perhaps sensing where the conversation was heading. 

“That it isn’t weird at all. I thought… well, I was a little worried it was going to be weird — you know, the physical stuff — because we’ve been friends for so long, but it wasn’t. Not at all. It felt right, you know?”

To Ron’s surprise, Harry smiled. “I’m glad for the two of you,” he said. “Really, I am. But for the record, that’s the only time I’m allowing you to share with me the intimate details of your relationship. From here on in, I don’t want to know.”

Ron flushed, then nodded. “Yeah, alright. I just don’t know who else to talk about it to.”

“To Hermione, I suppose,” Harry said.

“Yeah, I guess…”

The conversation drifted on to other things after that; things that they hadn’t been able to talk about since the war. Mundane things. 

Diagon Alley would be reopening soon. Shops had already started to open their doors for several hours a few days a week. Harry suggested if they wanted to escape the confinements of the Burrow, they should go one day — the three of them, and Ginny if she wanted to as well. 

Ron was just filling Harry in on how the cleanup at Hogwarts was going when Hermione returned, carrying a large book. For a moment, Ron thought she was going to read to them, but then she passed it to Harry. 

“Hermione…” Harry said, staring down at its cover. “Where… where did you find it?”

Hermione, her cheeks slightly pink, said, “I packed it with us… in the bag. I thought… I thought you might have needed it at times, but you didn’t. I’ve kept it safe, Harry, I swear. It’s in perfect condition.”

Ron shuffled closer to Harry to see just what Hermione had brought back. It was a photo album; Harry’s photo album, which contained pictures of his parents, Sirius, Remus, everyone. 

Harry looked up at Hermione, awed. “Thank you,” he said. 

“I thought you might need it now,” Hermione said, sitting on the grass opposite them. “Just as a reminder that this has all happened for a reason. That they started the fight, and we finished it. All of us.”

Harry flipped through the pages of the book, pausing at ones that were of his parents and of others who had since been lost. Looking at the photos gave Ron an idea. 

“It would be great if we could get something together like that,” he said. “You know, for everyone who died fighting both wars.”

Both Hermione and Harry stared at him. 

“I know they’re getting the monument at Hogwarts, and in the Ministry, which is great. Their names will be remembered, but over time, their faces will be forgotten. I’m thinking portraits, or something. Something the next generation can remember. A book, even, detailing their lives.”

“That’s a great idea, Ron,” Hermione said. “A book would be fantastic. A history book of some kind so new students at Hogwarts can learn about the war, learn about all those who died fighting for what was right.” She looked at Harry. “Your parents, too. Anyone who fought Voldemort, anyone who died.”

“You’d know how to get that going, wouldn’t you?” Ron asked Hermione. “I’ve got no clue, but I’d really like my brother’s face to be remembered, not just his name.”

Hermione was thoughtful for a moment. “I… suppose I could look into it, but I think we’d have to go to someone like the Minister to get it going. I can’t see Kingsley objecting, though. I bet he’ll think it’s a great idea!”

They spent another hour discussing more details of this supposed history book. Who was going to write it — they decided the families of the lost — and how they’d go about producing such a thing. How could they make it accurate and educational (Hermione said she could help with that). By late afternoon, they left the tree and made their way slowly back to the Burrow, where the others were already preparing dinner. 

“Oh, how kind of the three of you to join us,” Ginny said, her voice harsh. It seemed that she was unhappy over having been left out of their catch-up.

“Come off it, Ginny,” Ron said. “You’ve practically spent the last week with Harry.”

Ginny opened her mouth to say something insulting, but Bill, apparently sensing a potential argument, said, “Hermione, a letter arrived for you not so long ago.”

“A letter?” Hermione said, looking confused. “From who?”

“The Ministry,” Bill told her. 

Hermione’s face paled, and she asked where it was. Bill passed her the official Ministry envelope that had been sitting on the table, and Hermione left the room. 

When she didn’t return thirty minutes later, Ron went in search of her, finding her sitting on his bed, the open letter in her hand and tears running down her cheeks. 

Worried, he sat down beside her, an arm around her shoulders, as she turned to cry into him. He held her, not speaking, mimicking the way she’d held him a week ago at Fred’s funeral. 

Running his hand up and down her back, feeling her tears wet his shirt, he took the letter from her hand and read it. 

Dear Miss Granger,

Thank you for your inquiry into locating your parents. Due to the state of current affairs, we were unable to get back to you any sooner. However, because of your active involvement in the war, we hurried through your request and sent a team to Australia with the information you provided in the hope of locating your parents. 

This letter is to inform you that we have located them, and they are now under the watch of the Ministry of Magic until you are able to travel there yourself. As per your request, no one has made an attempt to restore their memories, but we will have you know that they seem to be safe, well and happy. 

Enclosed are the details of their location. Once you are ready to travel, please reply via owl, and we will arrange your travel and expenses for you immediately. 

Your support in the war is much appreciated, and we will endeavour to ensure you have as much support as needed throughout this journey.

Sincerely, 

Magda Finch, Newly Appointed Head of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, Department of Magical Law Enforcement

Ron flipped to the second page of the letter, reading over the details the Ministry had provided of Hermione’s parents’ whereabouts. It seemed that they’d made quite a life for themselves in the year they’d been there. 

Hermione continued to cry into his shoulder, and Ron held her. After a moment, he said, “I bet you’re relieved.”

Wiping her puffy red eyes, Hermione pulled away and looked at him. “I thought it was bad news when Bill told me,” she sniffed. “I thought… they were going to tell me the worst.”

“I didn’t even know you asked them to help,” Ron said.

“I did it the day after we got here,” Hermione told him. “I didn’t know whether to say something. You were dealing with everything, and I didn’t want to worry about it until I knew one way or another what was going to happen. I also thought it would take them longer to locate them.” 

Ron brushed away a stray hair sticking to her face and smiled. “I’m guessing you’ll be going as soon as possible?” A pang of guilt suddenly hit him, and he looked down at the letter in his hand. He’d not even thought to ask how she might have been feeling about her parents; in fact, he’d all but forgotten that she’d sent them away with no memories of her. He’d been so caught up in his own grief and being with her, that he’d failed to think of her pain. He gave her hand a squeeze. 

Hermione was silent for a moment, thoughtful. Then she said, “Please come with me.”

“What?” 

“Come with me, Ron. Please. I… I don’t think I can go alone. What if I can’t… can’t...” Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, and Ron once again drew her towards him. Her whole body shook against his.

“If anyone can reverse such a spell, it’s you,” he said quietly. He thought about her request for but a second before answering. “But of course I’ll go with you if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” Hermione whispered, pulling away once again. “Please.”

Ron dropped the letter onto his bed and grabbed her face with both hands. He kissed her gently, unlike the rough, passionate kisses he’d become so accustomed to over the last week. 

“I’ll go wherever you want me to go,” he promised. 

She smiled. “Thank you. It means a lot. It’s just so hard to think about them so far away...” 

“You’ll have them back soon,” Ron assured her. “Exactly as you remember them.”

“I hope so,” Hermione said. “I did it because it was the only way to keep them safe, but now that it’s all over, I keep thinking, what if it was the wrong thing to do? What if —”

Ron silenced her by another kiss. “You,” he said, “are amazing. You can do anything. I have complete faith in you to fix it. And I’ll be with you the whole time, for every step of the way. I promise.”

She smiled again. “Thank you.”

“I love you,” Ron said. “I don’t actually think I could let you go without me, even if you wanted to. I’d miss you too much.”

Hermione wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. Her chin rested on his shoulder as she whispered, “I love you, too.”

Ron hugged her even tighter. Even though it wasn’t the right moment, he couldn’t help but laugh. “So, is this our first holiday together?”

He felt Hermione shake against him, telling him she was laughing too. “I guess it is,” she said. “Some adventure it’ll be.”

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[btssunnyboy]

Forgive Me - Kim Taehyung

Saying I’m sorry is not going to make up for the mistakes you made.

Word Count - 5,168 (longest fic!)

Masterlist

Warning - profanity

Request are open!! Also feedback is very much appreciated!!

———————————————————————

Everything was moving along beautifully. Your smile was dazzling in the mirror, as you admired yourself. The crisp, white gown complimenting your figure in more ways than one. It was like a fantasy coming true in this very moment, everything was falling right into place. You could feeling the sheer enjoyment radiating through your body, it was electrifying. It was magnificent seeing those hopeful faces surrounding you with gleams of love in their eyes, and you knew seeing that look on his face would just be icing on the cake. With one final look around the room you could feel the fresh tears swell up in your eyes, but in the best way possible.

You felt secure in this moment, like nothing in the world could harm you in anyway. As long as these glorious eyes held that gleam of hope you were gonna feel like this was the moment. The moment that everything was happening for the best. You were going to be marrying the love of your life in less then ten minutes, and you knew this was what you wanted. Soft hands clasped around your forearm as they sat you down firmly in the chair. Their fingertips dabbing at the tears that threatens to leave your waterline. They weren't gonna let you ruin an hours worth of work with a second of crying.

"Now listen, I worked too hard for you to mess up that eyeliner." Sarah smiled, as she fiddled with the tube on the table. The black liquid having another round on your left eye. She was steady, and you hoped that everything else was going steady as well. Her arched eyebrow showed just how concentrated she was at this moment, she wanted you to look beautiful as soon as those big wooden doors opened and exposed you to all those waiting people.

Her manicured fingertips dabbed lightly on the eyeshadow that covered your lids. Giving minor touch ups to places that needed it. At the end she held your face in her eyes, and held the eye contact with you. She was incredibly proud of you, and she couldn't wait to show off her best friend to those inside. She wanted you to have your bright and shinning moment, but only if she knew. "Get up, it's time."

You nodded lightly, as you took a hold of her outstretched hand and took a wobbly step. The diamond crusted heels making loud clicking sounds as you walked across the tiled floor. The closer everyone got to those doors the faster your heart raced within your body. You could feel your breath hitch within your throat, and it felt constructive. The light hold you had on Sarah's hand changed to a bone crushing one. Her body halted with yours in the middle of walkway.

"Hey,hey, hey, it's okay y/n. Everything is okay, you can do this." Sarah comforted as he clasped your hands together and brought them to her lips. Delivering small kisses to your fingertips in an attempt to calm you down. Your breathing began to go ragged as each breath was sharp. You couldn't give up now, not when you were so close to having the perfect fairytale ending.

"Sarah's right, y/n." Bella smiled as she rubbed comforting circles on your exposed back. The small act calming down your body as your panicked eyes went side to side. Locking with Bella and Sarah multiple times. Not once did their eyes leave you, even when you felt like you were throw up they didn't leave. They were the ones who actually honored their commitment and stayed right by your side. The loud creaking of the wooden doors wasn't what caught your attention, but the person who sprinted out of them. It was one of his best men, and even he looked like he was panic mode as well.

"Oh shit." He mumbled as he saw the three of you standing off to the side. His eyes softened as he took in the state you were in, panicked and out of breath. Those big doe eyes darted from the audience back to you several times, but finally he made a move. His small hand waved Bella over and he tugged her close. So close that is hands were gripping the sides of her dress, causing the material to scrunch up. His head dipped to her neck, as he whispered inaudible words into her ear. Her arms pushed him away without a doubt, as she stared dumbfounded at him.

"You're lying." She spat as she crossed her arms. Her eyebrow was arched in a serious way, and you could tell something was going on. She looked pissed, as if the words Jimin spoke mocked and offended her in some way. Bella looked like she was ready to pounce. "Jimin you better be fucking lying." She peered into the reception room, and you heart stopped at the gasp that left her pink lips.

You tore yourself away from Sarah's hold, and tugged at the long train of the dress. You figured that the people waiting were pissed, since you had took so long. The here comes the bride song ended minutes ago, and you didn't want to keep the people waiting anymore. Besides you knew in your heart that this was the right thing to do. Marrying him was the right thing to do. It has to be.

"On no, y/n, your makeup." Bella rushed out as she yanked you away from the doors. A small rush of wind was knocked out of you at the harsh yank she gave. The look on her face showed just how determined she was to keep you away from those doors. Your eyebrows furrowed in a confused manner, this was your wedding, and the bridesmaids wasn't even letting you walk through the door. You didn't want to keep him waiting, and he was no doubt worrying about your lack of presence at the alter.

"It's fine, Bella, Now please let me go get married." You sighed, as you tried to tear yourself away from her. Yet she was giving in what so ever. No matter how hard you struggled against her hold you never stopped, not until she muttered under her breath. "Bella what's going on?"

"Y/n, you can't get married right now." She said, her eyes dropping to white tiles on the floor. Her hands clasped tighter around your body, as you went limp. She said you can't get married, but what exactly does that mean. "You can't get married because of, um,"

"Bella, sweetheart, spit it out,please." You sighed lightly.

"You can't get married because you have no groom." The words slipped past Jimin's mouth without a second thought. His hand flew to his mouth in desperate need to stop himself from talking. They were lying, they had to be! This has to be a joke, a sick, cruel joke. But nonetheless a joke, and when everyone's laughing you'll be saying your vows to the one you've grown to love. The love of your life was out there, he just had to be. You jerked way from Bella's hands and raced to the wooden doors, and flung them open. The doors ear splitting loudness alerting everyone, as they turned to stare in sorrow.

Everything was perfect, from the soft daffodils, and tulips that hung along the soft white benches. To the rest of the brides party in their stunning, yellow dresses on the alter. Everything was just the way you two planned it, but one thing. His spot was empty as can be. The only thing that truly mattered to you wasn't perfect, he wasn't there. Everyone looked on with sympathy glazing their faces, and you couldn't take it anymore. With a sob in your throat, and tears blinding your vision you took off. Just like he did, you sprinted back down the hall in a desperate attempt to get away from the piercing eyes of those in the reception room.

Multiple feet raced behind you, but you didn't care. The one person you wanted by you side, and left you to dry. He left you alone without a second thought in the word. Kim Taehyung left you before you could even step one foot in his vision. All of those memories started coming back in vivid flashbacks, each one felt like they were striking spears into your heart. The one where you first met, in middle school during a math class, and then two months ago when he bumped into your outside the dress shop trying to sneak a small peak. His boxy smile lighting up his face, as he pulled your body close. While the other hand rubbed circles on your cheek, then he'd place a chaste kiss to your lips. So soft, like he was afraid you'd break into a million parts if he was too rough.

You slammed the dressing room door shut behind you. At this weak moment you let yourself fall apart, you poured every emotions you had into this moment. The loud sobs echoed off of the walls, and your held yourself as the sob raked through your body. You could feel the makeup running down your cheeks the longer you sat there, and let the tears flow. The inside of your throat felt raw, and your vision was too blurry to even pinpoint the mirror. The door flung open and in walked more than the three people from before.

"Oh, baby." Bella's voice rang through your ears. Her arms pulled your body into her, as she crouched down to your level. She let you cry into her shoulder no matter how loud, or how messy. She let you get out all of the sadness and sorrow in your body. Another pair of hands were placed on your legs, and your back. Everyone gathered on the floor, and tried to comforted you through small touches. They couldn't relate, half of them were happily married, others had kids on the way, but they all had their shares of heartbreaks. And they're gonna be here for you no matter what.

"He l-l-left me. He actually left." You hiccuped into Bella's shoulder. As your hands gripped the yellow dress on her body. You wished this was a dream, that any minute now you'll wake up and it'll all be over. It wasn't supposed to end like this, you two made a plan. Till death do you part, that was supposed to happen. You were not supposed to get left in the middle of your wedding day. "I thought he loved me."

"Oh, honey." Sarah sniffled, while moving closer to you. She wrapped her arms around your waist, and laid her head in the crook of your neck. You could feel the tears fall down her face, and onto your neck. The three of you were so close, that when one was having a bad time it seemed like everyone got the same feeling. And now wasn't any different. "I'm so sorry."

"Can we get this stuff off of me." You cried, as you yanked at the veil that was hanging over your shoulder. The lace ripping in spots the harder your tugged. Both of them lifted you up, and forced the groomsmen out the door. Their hands went to the zippers, and then others went to the bobby pins that were holding your curls. You kicked off the heels, and tried to force the dress off. You didn't want anything on you that would remind you of the events that just happened. You just wanted to go home.

"Here I got her other clothes." Namjoon's embodied voice spoke through the door. You were handed the clothes within a second, and hastily covered your body once more. You quickly grabbed the makeup wipes on your way out. Namjoon held your body close, as he wrapped his jacket around you. "I'm so sorry, sis."

You smiled sadly, as you gripped the back of his shirt. "Please can we just go home." He nodded as he led everyone to limo. They piled in one by one, and the whole ride was silent. No one dared speak a word, after what just occurred. You were broken in the seat, and no one wanted you to become worse. "What happened."

It was the first sentence you spoke in that whole ride. Their eyes widened at your sudden words, but no one opened their mouths. Half of them didn't truly know, while the others did.

"Please." You begged, as you fiddled with the hen of your shirt.

"He said he was going to look for you, because to him it felt like a long time, but he never came back. That's why I came out." Jimin confessed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

You laughed slightly, as you wiped your nose once more. "I still can't believe this actually happened, today."

Everyone stayed silent once more. Not knowing what to say, because they never pictured Taehyung doing something like this. He talked to highly of this day, he talked so highly of you. Then he just up and leaves without saying a word to nobody. The guy they knew disappeared the moment he decided to leave without a word. You let the silence lull you to sleep, as you hugged Namjoon's arm. And for once your brother didn't put up a fight.

"That stupid little bastard." Namjoon seethed through his teeth when he noticed you were fully asleep. His hands were clenched into fists the more he thought of it. The more he thought of him the more furious he got. He saw the looks on Sarah and Bella's faces and knew they were tempted to scream at the boys in the car. 

"How could you all not have known, especially you Jimin." Bella scolded as she poked her tongue to the inside of cheek. The poor girl was about to explode on someone, and you beat pity whoever is on the receiving end of her yelling. She'll yell until she is red in the face, and her throat is so sore that she can't speak for days. And right now she doesn't care about the consequences of her yelling, she needed to get it off of her chest. 

"I'm sorry, love, I truly am. But even I didn't know he was gonna flake last minute like this." Jimin apologized as he removed his hand from his girlfriends grasp. Only for her to intertwine them once more.

"I'm sorry I snapped I'm just pissed. I love you." She smiled, as she gripped his arm once more. His soft smile, and kind eyes looking at her like she was only girl in the world. That was what true love really looked like.

Namjoon stared down at you and he could feel tears swell his eyes. He was your brother, and it was supposed to be his job to protect you. To protect you from the harsh outside world, and yet he couldn't protect you from this heartbreak. "I'm so sorry."

                                  —————

It has been almost a year. A year, since you were stood up at that alter. A year since you felt your heart get torn to shreds, and you never felt the same. The trust you had in people slowly diminished as time went on. You could tell everyone was worried sick, but you always said it happens sometimes. But no matter what you always stayed with those who stayed that unfaithful day. They done everything they could to get you back out there, expect for Namjoon. Your poor brother was hell bent on never letting something like that happen again.

You loved your brother to death, but he was becoming suffocating. You understood completely his stance on the situation, but right now you needed some time alone. A night out of begging for you to take one foot out the door, and yet he was always there asking for help. Wether it be with Bella, hell even cooking the poor boy wanted as much supervision as possible. All you wanted to was to have one night, and you prayed that it would come soon.

"Namjoon let the girl have some fun tonight!" Bella sighed as she dangled her car keys in front of him. "Please Joonie! It's my bachelorette party!"

He raised an eyebrow at her request. And the only thing that greeted them was pure silence, and a questionable look from Namjoon. Bella groaned loudly, as she flung her body back against the couch. "You promise you'll keep an eye on her."

"Oh my god! Joon it's been a year-" You argued slightly, before your sentence was cut off.

"Yes! Oh my god, I will see you later Joon, and tell Jimin I love him!" Bella skipped with glee to her car and quickly opened the driver side door. Without a second thought you climbed into the back seat, and was greeted by a yell of surprise from Sarah.

"It's about time! Now we can actually get drunk and have some fun!" Sarah smiled as she bopped her head to the beat of the song. You noticed that it was only the three of you in the car. Who's gonna be the driver?

"You two will be drinking, but I'm out tonight. Can't drink with two on board." Bella sighed lightly as she pulled into the bar. Yet her face tells a different story, she didn't look too upset about not drinking tonight.

"Now wait a damn minute! You're pregnant!" You bellowed in the back of the car, as Sarah sat there with a shocked expression. “Oh my god honey! Congratulations!”

“Wait this is your bachelorette party! We don’t need to go to bar we should be doing something you can do!” Sarah said, as she argued for another route. Only for Bella to wave her hand, and keep the same route to the bar on fifth street. And you weren’t gonna lie you needed a strong shot of whiskey, but Bella deserved to have this night for her.

“Y/n, and you Sarah both need heavy drinks I can tell, and besides the WiFi is way better then at my apartment.”

You tilted your head through the rear view mirror. You wanted her to be sure about this whole plan, considering how loud and rowdy this bar can get. Especially after everyone’s done their sixth shot.

“If you get nauseous at, or even a headache we’re leaving immediately.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Says the mom to be.”

When you car finally pulled into the parking lot you were practically bouncing in your seat. The thought of that burning alcohol sliding down your throat was really starting to take a hold of you. Raspberry vodka was tempting right now and boy were you gonna settle this thirst.

“Be careful girls! I’ll be in the back booth.” Bella smiled as she careful made her way through the crowed bar. Her arm wrapped securely around her stomach no matter what. She was trying to remain as cautious as possible. You could feel your heart break slightly as you know she didn’t want to be here.

“Don’t stress Jimin is probably already here, we all made a plan earlier.” Sarah laughed as she dragged you towards the open bar. Her eyes darting from left to right as she scanned her options “Cocktail.”

“Whiskey, but Sarah why do I get the feeling you all made a plan for this place to see if we can get some dates.” You sighed as you tipped the glass up to your lips with desperation in your actions you downed the whole glass. And quickly slid it over for another. “I see the boys are here.”

“We just thought you’d want to see some options, and have a well deserved drinks.” Sarah shrugged as she swirled her straw in the blue liquid. Her voice started to her lost within the loudness of the music. You started to respond before a hand gripped your jacket.

“Y/n, were gonna head out, please make sure you get a ride home with the boys.” Jimin nodded as he gripped Bella’s waist and tugged her along. “And please have some fun, and here are the keys to Bella’s car.”

You gave a mock salute as you turned back to your drink. Your head swaying with the music that blasted through the speakers. Then you noticed how Sarah’s leg was bouncing wildly, and making her seat squeak with every movement. Her eyes staying on the group that was so conveniently placed in the seat that Bella was sitting at. “Namjoon is still single right?”

“First of all, gross, and second of all I’m pretty sure.” You faked gagged, as you eyed her and then your brother. “Go asked him to dance.”

The poor girls eyes widen to a comical size almost. And the liquor in her throat gagged her slightly. You rolled your eyes at her manner, before you nudged her harshly. “Sarah, man up and ask him to dance.”

A whimper left her, as she eyed the girls that were starting to go over to the table more often. You weren’t gonna lie his friends were actually pretty cute, especially the one named Hoseok, but you highly doubt he’d even let you near them after what happened. You mentally scolded yourself for even bringing that up. It happened, and you were supposed to get over it like it never happened. You were supposed never thing about that horrible situation again. You could feel your mood turning sour at the mere thought of that day.

“Will you be okay?” Sarah asked, putting down her finished drink. A sharp nod left you as you nudged her towards the boy. You still couldn’t believe the crush she has him, ever since high school. The girl tried to pass every exam and her bumped to advance placement just to see him a few extra times throughout the day. You felt yourself smile at the innocent memory, as it reminded you of the great times you had in high school.

“I’m kinda surprised a beautiful girl like you is all alone right now.” The voice sounded familiar in the back of your head. But you had downed a few shots, and you had to give your mind a minute to play catch up with your body. You tried to swirl yourself around and answer the stranger statement, but you weren’t meant with a stranger.

Oh god no.

Your eyes met his in sheer panic. There he was in the flesh. His beautiful black hair now dyed a soft blond, and you hated to admit it, but it suited him. You felt all those drinks start to resurface in your throat, as he stared at you with sweet puppy dogs eyes. And his usually boxy smile. Shit, he’s only spoke one sentence and everything has already came back. All the love that filled you from head to toe, to that hatred that surged through your veins, it was all coming just from him standing there.

“Oh my god, I have to go.” You sputtered out quickly as you paid for the drinks on the table. The alcohol making you waver in your steps just slightly. Out of pure instinct your hands gripped onto his jacket sleeve, and surprisingly his hands went straight for your waist. You yanked the hands away as if they burnt your body through your jacket material. You felt disgusting to let him stare at you, let alone lay a hand on you. You gripped the keys, and shoulder checked your way through the crowds of people.

As soon as the bar doors opened, and the crips air hit your face you immediately felt better. You needed this breather, as you dashed towards the car. You wished this was a dream as much as your failed wedding night. He shouldn’t have been in there! He skipped your wedding, and skipped town so why the hell is he here. Why now of all times. “Y/n, please, let me explain!”

You halted in your steps. He didn’t deserve to have his side of the story told, he left you. He left you at the alter, and made you look like a fool in front of everyone. He didn’t care about you, and now he wants to show some compassion and try to explain. No, he doesn’t get to, he gets to the feel the same way you felt that day. You were gonna leave there dumbfound, because it’s what that bastard deserves.

“I still love you.” He shouted, as he raced towards your side. And you could feel the emotions burning a hole in your chest. The sound of him saying that still warmed your heart to the core. But that shouldn’t happen, he left you a year ago! Those feelings should have left when he decided to leave you at that alter. You turned around sharply, and tried to steady your breath. You could have sworn a small smile graze his face.

“Do you think that matters to me? Do you really think confessing to me in a bar parking lot is going to make a difference! You left me at that alter and made me out to be a fool!” You bellowed as you took steps back to the car. You fiddled noticeably with the keys. Your vision was slightly impaired due to the alcohol and tears. Which were never a good combo.

“Look I know I mess u, but I’m back! Please just let me give you a ride home.” He suggested as he placed his large hands on yours. You needed to stop this, put an end to all of his bullshit right now and leave. Leave him like he did to you. Give this bastard a taste of his own medicine. “I’ll take you home in this car, and come back for mine.”

You should have gone and gotten on the guys or Sarah. But you knew as soon as they saw him all hell would break loose. Even though you hate to admit it, it would kill you inside to see that happen to him. Your fingers traced the sides of the car to keep you steady. “Take me to Bella’s.”

Taehyung smiled as he raced towards the drivers seat, and started the car. He would open and close his mouth several times throughout the ride. Begging to say his half of the story, and he knew he was an asshole for what he did. He knew he didn’t deserve any type of forgiveness at all. Yet he still wanted to know how you felt. He needed to know if you still loved him. He pulled into the familiar apartment lot, and watched with sorrow in his eyes as you jumped out of the car. Jimin knew he was gonna be here, and he wanted to go talk him, he wanted to go talk to you.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he lightly tapped on the door. He wanted five minutes after you went in at this point. The wooden door swung open and revealed his best friend who didn’t look too happy with him either. Nonetheless he jerked his head to the side, and motioned where you were act. Staring blankly out of the window.

“I have nothing to say to you.” You firmly stated as you pulled your legs to your chest. You wanted to leave at this moment, or else you were gonna break down. Bella gripped your hand, as you saw her reflection in the mirror. She was glaring daggers at her fiancé. You knew there was fight brewing within her, that she was trying to keep calm in this situation. You needed her to stay calm and she knew that, she was your rock.

“Give him five minutes.” Bella suggested in a whispered tone. Your teary eyes glossed over even more at her suggestion. This was a bad idea, and you knew it. You couldn’t believe that she actually wanted you to talk to him as well. “When the five minutes are up I’ll force him to leave.”

You gave a small nod, and waited for his presence to join you on the couch. His weight shifted the cushions, but you didn’t move an inch. Your eyes stayed locked onto the street lights that illuminated the ground below. He didn’t open his mouth and the silence was becoming too much to handle. Either he was gonna talk now or you were gonna call time and force him out of the house.

“I know you’re mad.” You scoffed at the obvious statement. Making it clear that all your emotions were gonna be on the table. “But I am so sorry, y/n, I am so extremely sorry. That day I got scared and worried. We’re still so young, and at that moment I questioned myself on if I was able to settle down. I didn’t know at that time I could or not.”

“You should have talked to me and you know that! You ditched me at that alter, and I was left all alone making everyone around pick of the pieces to something you broke. You shouldn’t get to say you’re sorry, and think that’s gonna fix everything because it won’t. Saying you still love in that parking lot is not going to fix any of this!” You bellowed, and ran a shaky hand through your hair. You couldn’t break down no, not now. He shouldn’t get the satisfaction of seeing you cry.

“I said that because it’s true. I made the biggest mistake of life when I left you like that. I’m here to see if you even have an ounce of love left for me. I want to make us work again.” He sputtered as he gripped your hands. He rubbed small circles on the back of your hand to try and comfort you. He brought your fingertips to his lips and placed small kisses to each once. “Tell me to leave, and I swear I’ll leave this town and never come back. But look me in the eyes and say you don’t love me anymore. I need to know that.”

You lifted your graze from the street lights and stared directly into his eyes. Those kind eyes sending you into a spiral of mixed emotions. You hated this bastard, but on the other hand you knew deep down in your heart that your love for him was still as strong as it was that day. But you didn’t want to get hurt anymore, and the longer you stared the more sucked in your were getting. “You don’t deserve my answer. If you truly care about me, and want this to work out. You’ll work for it. Make me want you back, and then we’ll see.”

“I’ll try with everything in me, because y/n, I never stopped loving you.”

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