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#there’s so much i wanna say about this album and the rerelease and all the emotions but it would turn into a novella
cdmodule · 2 years
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You know what I don't know much about CD collections but it's nice to hear about collections. What's a CD from your collection that you are proud/happy to own and do you have a CD (or a few of them) that was very expensive when you bought it? -Food anon
IM VERY GLAD U ASKED FOOD ANON
First of all trust me my CD collection isn't anythin fancy It's really just a bunch of CD's in the corner of my room that I Love Very Much My favorite part of the collection (not necessarily my fave album overall) is Ab 18 (18+) by Die Ärzte which is an EP that was made as a result of 3 of their songs being "banned" at the time - I'll explain that in a sec - and a few more songs added that weren't banned per se but definitely questionable or Weird. Nowadays only one of the songs and therefore also the Whole Album is in the so called "index"
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^^^Said album btw (It says "Warning! Sold only to teenagers over the age of 18") All offers I saw on ebay were 40-80€ at the time except for Bids and I got lucky and bid 35€ on one of em and Got It. Most I spent for any Album (usually I try and spend under 10€ for used CDs, a bit more If I have to) I just think the whole history behind some of these songs is fucking Hilarous, won't get into it in detail and I wanna put a Disclaimer that obvs I dont support all of the Off The Wall stuff they sing about (and neither do they) but its like. Sexual shock humor from the 80s I don't think It's worth getting mad over nowadays LOL I just think It's a neat piece of Ärzte Lore. Also one of the songs (instrumental wise) is one of the prettiest songs they have and I'm mad /lh I'll put some more explanation under the cut for whoever is curious about the whole banning thing
Thanks to the Bundeszentrale für Kinder- und Jugendmedienschutz (Federal Review Board for Media Harmful to Minors) three of DÄ's songs were in the Index back in the day, which is a list that collects all media that is seen as harmful to minors. Having your song on there basically means you can't publicly display it, adveritse it, sell it to minors (iirc you have to Ask the seller If they have it) or play it live. They also have movies and video games, however not If It's already 18+ as far as I know. There is a lot more about it, If you wanna read about it you can go here (Just found out they have an english article! Awesome) Fair warning It does mention some sensitive topics A few german punk bands I like such as Wizo got this treatment too for having songs that "encourage violence and terrorism" since the song is basically a huge "fuck the state and blow up rich people" anarchy etc track. The song is called "Kein Gerede" If ur curious The first Ärzte album got that quirky little sticker for having a song on there that ended up on the Index
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Which reads "This product cannot be sold to people under 18 due to Child Safety laws and is not allowed to be advertised publicly" Eventually they removed songs from the albums and rereleased them, funfact when I saw one of their Albums in the store yesterday It had a sticker on it that said the album CAN infact be purchased by people who are under 18 since one of the songs is removed The More You Know!
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redlipsanddaydreams · 3 years
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fearless was the first album of taylor’s i listened to in full, so don’t mind me screaming at the fact that a.) its the first of the rereleases, and b.) i get to have a rare experience of an album release for the album that spawned my excitement for the future album release experiences that I hold so tightly and warmly in my memories
i’m so proud of you taylor, and so happy, and so thankful 💛💛
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A long bitch of an interview with Euronymous, from Orcustus zine in early ‘92.
What is Orcustus? Orcustus was an early 90’s black metal ‘zine run by none other than Bård “Faust*” Eithun— murderous pretty-boy, and o.g Euronymous simp. I think he might have also played drums in a band called Emperor... but I’m not sure! Its full name is actually “Orcustus— The Shadow of The Golden Fire”, and no, I’m not making this up.
This particular issue here opens up with a quote from a short story called ‘The Doom That Came To Thomas Parkes*’.
Assuming the reader hasn’t read the story, Faust explains that the quote is in reference to what happened to the titular ‘Thomas Parkes’ when he tried to raise spirits. Faust then admits that he’s unsure of his own ability to ‘raise spirits’, but says he hopes that he’ll raise some fists in agreement that there’s something wrong with the underground scene. Ironically (you’ll see why this is ironic very soon), he doesn’t like that certain bands, namely Entombed, are selling so many copies of their LPs.
After a brief diatribe on just that, he goes on to explain that he was in a rush to get this mag out because of problems with the printer. Then, he tells anyone who doesn’t like the fact that this ‘zine only features black metal that they can fuck off, with three exclamation points.
Finally, we get to the end of the opening page, where Faust pulls what can only be called an early form of the Twitter exposed thread. It reads as follows, with absolutely no changes to the text:
“I would suggest you to not do any business with that sucker Evil Ludo from France. He have riped me and several others off, by not return what we ordered. I suppose he’s a medical sensation, as I didn’t know it was physical or psychical possible to live without a brain”
Why am I telling you all of this, when this is only meant to be a transcript of an interview with Euronymous, you may be asking? Because I find it funny, that’s why.
Anyhow, the Euronymous here acts and feels very differently from the Euronymous of the last interview I posted. However, I hope you’ll still enjoy it, and I hope you’re able to appreciate the tiny glimpses of humanity talking to a close friend allowed him, even though they both behave like complete asses. Even though it’s hard to sympathize with him at points.
Like last time, any (sparse) commentary will be between (parenthesis) and in bold. Without further ado, let’s get into it.
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F: Well, how in hell shall one be able to come up with an intro worthy enough for this band? The words I wanna describe Mayhem’s music with, is not yet created, and it won’t be created either, because no one has really experienced the real darkness and pure brutality with lays behind Mayhem’s hellish sound, but I suppose you all are familiar with this band anyway. Well, in the first place, I hadn’t really thought to enclose this band in this issue, because if we look away from rereleases of old demos (“Pure Fucking Armageddon”) and live tapes, it’s a pretty long time since their last release (in ‘87 that was). I thought I rather should interview them when they released their forthcoming album “Dee Mysteriis Dom Sathanas”, but due to the circumstances, I realised the time was right for an interview now. I won’t bother you with any history shit, but I could tell a bit about what has happened last year. You all know that their vocalist Dead comited suicude in April ‘91, that was a bigg loss for the underground, and I suppose I don’t need to say that this mag is dedicated to the memory of that infernal man. Anyway, Dead was replaced by Cultòcùlus (back then called Occultus), but due to different problems within the band, he left the band in January ‘92, but let’s not say more about that, as Euronymous didn’t want me to say anything about it at all (but Euronymous, you must admit that it has sounded pretty artificial if I hadn’t mentioned it at all). So now, the band consists of Hellhammer (drums) and Euronymous (guitar (and probably bass too)). I know the singer of Tormentor (rip) from Hungary (Esihar Attila) is interested in singing on the album, and also even moving to Norway, so it seems like Mayhem got some sort of predilection to foreign vocalists, but this Hungarian guy happend to be a good one as well, so never mind that. But I don’t think this is official, so don’t tell anyone you read it here, ok? Well then, it’s an honour for me to dedicate the next following pages to one of today’s most legendary and infamous bands......... THE TRUE MAYHEM!!!!!!!
F: First of all Euronymous, I know you and Dead live/lived totally for the old black metal attitude. Is your hate now total to young and trendy bands after Dead’s suicide?
Euro: YES, we have declared WAR. Dead died because the trend people have destroyed everything from the old black metal/death metal scene, today “death” metal is something normal, accepted and FUNNY (argh) and we HATE it. It used to be spikes, nites, chains, leather and black clothes, and this was the only thing Dead lived for as he hated this world and everything which lives on it. If we had the economic possibility to do it, we should meet up at concerts and beat up ALL trend people ALL the time untill they would be too scared to go to concerts at all, now we need to suck their money instead. It’s impossible to stop the trend no matter how much we want, we have to do the best out of it and sell lots of trend shit to them. (I don’t need to tell you that that’s totally not why Dead killed himself, right?)
F: In the spring of ‘91 you started up a shop in Oslo which sells all sorts of music within metal. Is there anything you can tell us about the shop (ideas? plans?)?
Euro: Well, the original idea was to make a specialist shop for metal in general, but that’s a long time ago. Normal metal isn’t very popular anymore, all the children are listening to “death” metal now, I’d rather be selling Judas Priest than Napalm Death, but at least now we can be specialized within “death” metal and make a shop where all the trend people know that they will find all the trend music, this will help us earning money so that we can order more EVIL records to the evil people. But no matter how shitty music we have to sell, we’ll make a BLACK METAL look on the shop, we’ve had a couple of “actions” in churches lately, and the shop is going to look like a black church in the future. We’ve also thought about having total darkness inside, so that would would have to carry torches to be able to see the records.
F: Well, how is the situation all in all in the Mayhem camp right now?
Euro: Difficult as usual, but we’re closer than ever to record the Mayhem lp. Almost all the material is completed, then I and Hellhammer will record the whole thing with 3 guitars, 2 basses and so on. It will be very massive. Who’s to sing on the lp is not yet decided, we’ll wait and see what happens. We have several people who can do the job very well.
F: As Metalion of Slayer mag* said: “it seems like you at certain times lives on the edge of starvation”. Have you ever been on the thought to just give up the whole band and become a normal 9 to 5 person, or is this a completely stupid question to ask?
Euro: It has been very hard at times, but I am not a normal person anyway so it would just not be possible to do that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why things are as they are (this answer will be long) (that’s okay for me/Ed). The reason why we don’t have any money, is because of hardcore. We have for too long been following the “underground” rules, which say that you must hate money, you must not think you are anything, you must be open-minded, you might have a lot of attitudes and so on. Extremely stupid. But the situation has been that if you don’t follow these rules which are made by hardcore pigs, you are not accepted as a death metal or black metal band! Then you MUST be signed by some big label to be able to make some money, and we’ve never wanted to do that. Then you would anyway be labelled as “commercial” by the HC pigs. This has caused that after 8 years, we are still as broke as ever, while the HC pigs themselves are controlling all labels, and they sign only the bands which fit into their own idiotic world, that means “death” metal bands with society lyrics and jogging suits, and this is what the people see when they grow up. They don’t see any EVIL bands with spikes, as we did. Well, I’m tired about being broke, just to be “underground”. I’m tired of not having money to eat for just because tons of people will call you a “rip-off” if you don’t write 20 letters each day. It’s time to say fuck off to the whole system, which is built to strangle the evil bands in the birth. We must start taking inspirations from the ancient ones, from Venom and their likes. They did their thing BIG, and they never had to think about any idiotic underground rules. They did it big and so must we, but it must never become a trend, it must become a CULT. This is why we have started on a brand new policy with the band and the record label. It’s about time that someone makes a label for black metal and other grim music, and STRIKE BACK. There is NO reason why DSP shouldn’t be as big as Peaceville or Nuclear Blast, if we can just get the business on its feet again and get good distribution. That’s the only way to compete with the HC labels. It’s about time we start taking control over our own scene. We must spread the EVIL bands and pervert people’s souls.
F: What about the Norwegian scene then? Don’t you think that something is terribly wrong when it have gone so far that we have a christian “death metal” band here (Crush Evil)? Advices on how we should kill them?
Euro: First of all— the Norwegian scene is the BEST. There are a lot of GREAT bands (yet with no album out) and of course some shitty trend bands, but nothing as in Sweden. There you have 2-3 good bands out of 100, while here we have a few shit bands who hardly have made even a demo, while all the great bands will make records in the near future. Such as Darkthrone, Burzum, Immortal, Thorns (I’m flattered/ED*), Arcturus, Enslaved and newer bands like Malfeitor and others which I have not yet heard. BUT— when it comes to bands like Crush Evil, we must take serious action. It’s bad enough to have a couple of society bands, but a CHRISTIAN band is too much. But don’t worry, we have plans. They will not continue for a very long time.
F: And now over to something more humouristic....yes.... snuff movies. Who had been the perfect actor for a snuff movie, and why the hell aren’t they legalized? Don’t you think that every video-store should have its own section with snuff-movies?
Euro: Actually I think it’s great that movies like that are forbidden. If they were legal and easily accessible, all the small trend children would be watching them, and then it would not be something extreme anymore (I’m not sure if I agree with you here Euronymous. Snuff movies are usually too raw and brutal for the people with their “peace and life” infected minds. Remember the HC rules/ED) (shut the fuck up, Faust*) It’s just the same what happened to death metal— it became something everyone could buy in every store, something normal and accessible for everyone. All the mystic and evil atmosphere is GONE. I do not think snuff-movies are funny, I think they are DARK. I’ve seen people laugh at them, but that’s probably because they will not be mentally able to take the PAIN and EVIL on over themselves. That is the best way to watch such a movie, to try to FEEL the actual pain of the victims. It becomes much more gruesome then, and that’s great. One must be alone in the darkness and suffer with the victims, if you watch it with other people, they will often talk, laugh and so on, and then you get more distanced from it, it’s not supposed to be funny (death to fun), it’s much better when it’s depressive.
F: Through the years you have been talking about releasing bands like Samael, Rotting Christ, Master’s Hammer, Tormentor, Matricide, Imperator, Massacre etc. on Deathlike Silence Prod., but now some of these bands have released lp’s on labels which only have money in their eyes and know that black metal sells. Doesn’t that frustrate you, and don’t you feel it like the time is running out for you?
Euro: It’s a bit frustrating, but it is also a result of trying to be “underground” which is a suicide policy. Anyway, the main thing is that these evil records get released at all, and not who’s releasing them. We will probably release a record with Tormentor, they’re split up, but they still want to make their Anno Domini demo on vinyl, and we’ll try to fix it within the summer. The time is not running out, because there are a lot of really evil bands around. — most of the Norwegian bands which other labels haven’t heard about. Burzum is ten times better than all the bands on Earache together, and so are Thorns and Arcturus. So there is no problem, really. As for bands like Rotting Christ and Master’s Hammer, we might do something in the future instead. I’ve never been talking with Samael about any deal, but I wish I had as their album is FUCKING GREAT.
F: Almost all bands in the underground today says that they think they got their own style and originality, but the fact is that 95% of the bands sounds totally the same. What is an original death metal band today?
Euro: There exists no death metal bands today. There are only a handful of (mostly great) bands (in case someone hadn’t got it right— black metal has nothing to do with the music itself, both Blasphemy and Mercyful Fate are black metal. It’s the LYRICS, and they must be SATANIC. If not, it is NOT black metal) and what we choose to call LIFE METAL bands. Take a band like Therion. Their music is quite ok, it’s actually one of the best Swedish bands (even though that doesn’t say much) but their lyrics STINK. They are about society and pollution, what the fuck has that got to do with DEATH? If a band cultivates and worships death, then it’s death metal, no matter what KIND of metal it is. If a band cultivates and worships Satan, it’s black metal. And by saying “cultivates death”, I don’t think about thinking it’s funny, or being into gore, I’m thinking about being able to KILL just because they HATE LIFE. it’s people who enjoy to see wars because a lot of people get killed. How many bands think that way? Not many. I can’t think of one.
F: You’re maybe not the most active band when it comes to gigs, but at least you’ve managed to tour Germany and Turkey. What can you tell us from the tour, and is there any new gigs planed?
Euro: That tour was a big mess, we’ll NEVER take the train again! We lost quite some money, but still it was great to get to East-Germany and Turkey. The memories of the tour consist mostly of the starvation and idiotic custom officers, but still I wouldn’t like to have missed the opportunity. We don’t have any concrete plans, we’ll see happens in the future. We don’t like to play for a lot of trendies in jogging suits, so we prefer to leave it be.
F: What do you think of the fact that death metal has been on MTV?
Euro: It sucks. But it isn’t death metal anyway, so....
F: I know that you will soon release the debut album of Abruptum on DSP, so, what can you tell us about it?
Euro: It’s EVIL. It’s PURE EVIL, they were torturing each other in studio DURING the recording and you can HEAR on the music how they SUFFER. It will be the most demented record EVER, and it’s NOT for normal people. This is music which NEVER can become trendy, because normal people won’t be able to understand it. And that’s great. The price for the album it’ll be the same as for the BURZUM lp, which should be somewhere else in this ‘zine*. It’s called “Obscuriratem Advoco Amplèctere Me”, and stay away from it if you don’t like pure DARKNESS.
F: Don’t you think that people in the underground should respect others ideas and views more? I mean, it’s not accepted to spread unpopular thoughts. It seems like there is some sort of guardians of morality and most people keep in mind not to say or do anything which is not accepted by the public.
Euro: I don’t think people should respect each other. I don’t want to see trend people respecting me, I want them to HATE and FEAR. If people don’t accept our ideas as their own, they can fuck off because then they belong to a musical scene which has NOTHING to do with ours. They could just as well be Madonna fans. There is an ABYSS between us and the rest. Remember— one of the HC rules is that you must be open-minded (except for themselves), so we must be careful and avoid being open-minded ourselves. The HC pigs have correctly made themselves guardians of morality, but we must kick them in the face and become guardians of anti-morality.
F: You say you want your riffs to have a dark mood and really sound evil, but what if you came up with a riff which just sounded good, but not evil. Would you use it then?
Euro: Well, if a riff sounds good to me, it mostly means that it sounds evil too. At least when I make the music myself. Haven’t really thought about this about this before.
F: Do you think you’ve been playing this sort of music today if it weren’t for those old bands like Mercyful Fate, Venom and Hellhammer?
Euro: It’s impossible to say. Venom and the other ancient ones have been fundamental influences on Mayhem, and also the direct reason of the band’s existence. We like to think that if they hadn’t started up this, we would have, but who knows? Doesn’t really matter anyway, we hail ancient Venom as the CREATORS.
F: Ok, no more questions at the moment. End the interview in what way you want......
Euro: Perhaps it should be mentioned that well re-release the MAYHEM mini-lp “Deathcrush” VERY soon. We also have t-shirts available now. People should write for prices on things. Be EVIL, not open-minded.
Ok, I suppose some of you already know that Euronymous started up a shop in Oslo in the spring of ‘91. The shop is called “HELVETE” (which is Norwegian and means “HELL”) and are specialized within underground stuff and death metal in general (though he also have some other styles of music there). As he said in the MAYHEM interview, the shop really have a black metal look, so if you ever visit Oslo, I really recommend you to visit “HELVETE” as well. I think it’s good that people take the initiative to start up with such things, because if everyone were just passive, we would all get ruined by poser-shops like Hot Records where they take 140 NKR for the Earache albums (which you in “HELVETE” can get a CD for the same price). Euronymous also sells though mail, so write and ask for a list or something: HELVETE, Schweigaardsgt. 56, 0656 Oslo. NORWAY.”
That’s all! :)
And now for the things I put in asterisks, in order of their appearances.
*If for some reason you actually don’t know who Faust is, he was the drummer on the Emperor LP and “In The Nightside Eclipse” but you might also know him from other great hits such as “threatening to kill Mortiis from prison whilst simultaneously attempting to plead murder of the secondth degree”, “I’m glad the people Euronymous ripped off won’t get their money back because he’s dead hA hA!”, “I got fourteen years for murder because I’m a socially inept virgin— oops” and “bad... bad lyrics who’s quality somehow don’t improve with the passing of time”. All jokes are done in good humour— if it seems like I dislike him, it’s not that at all. I just find him easy to make fun of.
Here is another short bio, this one less sarcastic: he was born in Trondheim, lived around Kvikne, and Lillehammer, worked at Helvete, was a close friend of Euro’s, and has his sun in Taurus.
He also beefed with Glen Benton for dissing the Party City cape (Note: of course I’m being extremely reductive) he and Euronymous seemed to share. Here are a few pictures of Faust:
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Here is the infamous Party City cape:
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*This was surprisingly hard to find. I think he read it in a mag or something. Here’s a link to where you can find it: https://issuu.com/davidgamble/docs/paranormal37/3 page 64-65.
*Slayer mag was another zine, this one by a bloke named Metalion, who was Euro’s best friend.
*Faust (who felt the strange need to make a distinction between himself, the editor, and himself, the interviewer) also played in Thorns (well, Stigma Diabolicum), under the hilarious moniker: Fetophagia✨
*He’s being a fucking idiot, what was I supposed to say? It should be noted that Faust actually went down for the snuff films too.....
*In case you’re interested, for whatever reason, the prices for the Burzum LP were as follows:
Norge— 130 NKR
Norden— 100 K
Finland— 60 FN
Island— 1000 IK
Europe— 15$
Outside Europe,
Overseas— 15 $
Air— 22$
East Europe— 10$
By ‘norden’ he presumably meant ‘northern Norway’, and “Island” is the Norwegian word for Iceland. Notice the way he doesn’t include Sweden! (Edit: Originally I thought he didn’t include Finland because there was a black metal war with them as well, but it seems as though that feud came a bit later or had already passed)
That’s all, for real this time!
Legal disclaimer: I am absolutely, in no way shape or form, claiming that the stupid cape you see them wearing is literally from Party City. From my limited research, I’ve gathered that the Party City chain hasn’t yet opened its doors in the beautiful and glorious country we know as Norway— Norge. However, I am saying that the cheap, dinky piece of cloth covering their backs and shoulders are of the same kind of shitty quality you’d expect from a Party City Count Dracula costume and that maybe Glen had a point about how stupid Euronymous (and Faust) must’ve looked.......
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fuck it. have the five page essay-ish thing i wrote on hoax.
it's so underrated and contains so many references to taylor's one great true love... that she lost.
(but there's also a bit about what the album cover means since i just think it adds to the evidence of something)
Let me take you on a journey, more specifically, the journey taylor’s music brought me to.
But fine for irl context, and disclaimer as well, I’m a new swiftie.
Yes, folklore was the one that really really pulled me in.
I’ve always loved her music, those that I knew of anyways, and she’s always held a special place in my heart and some part of me always knew that I was always going to explore her discography someday… and those days and months of exploring aforementioned music finally arrived.
So, for context, I’ll say that I mostly loved her bops. I always knew and loved her as that teenage girl feeling of wanderlust, and just wonder, and sweetness, and love…
That was what taylor was to me, the feeling of love.
It’s only when I very quite recently really really grew up and at the same time, taylor’s most popular music at the time, folklore, also happened to be really grown up, is when I realized and found out that taylor always had this depth to her.
So, for me, debut to speak now and half of red will always have that child-like wanderstruck look of awe and love vibe and feeling to me, cause nostalgia, it’s what I spent my life thinking of it and her as.
Also it’s been some time since I fully listened to those albums, so the journey/throughline narrative that I see from taylor’s discography is
Debut – young kid figuring it all out, emotional but sweet
Fearless – growth, ambition, dreams, complexity of wanting someone you know you’re not supposed to
Speak now – cinematic movie like quality of storytelling, these are fantasies, epics, novels all on their own, legend
Red – reckless abandon, intense extreme adult love, and also growth
1989 – true love, actual adulthood, scandal, gossip, hiding, protecting what’s important, dwindling mercurial highs
Rep - …
One thing that I started to notice only on 1989 and then it looked to be the case for the ff albums too, is that the latter half of one album oft bleeds onto the next one
So like the sound of I know places and even kinda wonderland to some extent, is very similar to reputation’s sound.
Then idk, new year’s day being a really sweet love song transitioning into lover
And then it’s nice to have a friend’s simple acoustic nostalgia & daylight’s nature imagery transitioning into folklore
And theeenn I’m betting the lakes as a positive song is a foreshadowing for the more softer positive outlook evermore is going to have, compared to folklore at least
But I honestly believe that if you look at the albums themselves, debut to speak now and red all seem to be about fleeting romances that pass and go
But 1989, that’s when things start to get real, and I believe, that’s when taylor really starts to get her muse…
Cause if you look at from 1989 to folklore evermore heck even to the rerelease of fearless and red…
These songs seem to be stemming from one relationship
A relationship that’s secret, that’s fragile and delicate, and complicated and complex
And correct me if I’m wrong, but…
Is king of my heart the first time taylor ever used the term, the one???
The one real thing you’ve ever known?? All too well
One touch you are in love??? One step one night
Point is, I think starting from 1989, most of the songs taylor wrote and sung about could all be attributed to just one person.
A tumultuous complex but nevertheless real and true love.
And I bring up the one connection because the one clearly parallels king of my heart
And all at once, YOU ARE THE ONE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
why would taylor write about losing someone that she thought she was the one if the person you think it’s about is still supposedly with her when she wrote it?
And finally, in taylor’s announcement of folklore, she wrote about an exiled man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own, wondering how it all went so terribly, terribly wrong.
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And in its music video, you get the same imagery?
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You know where, … you… also… get… the same… exact… imagery…?
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The folklore album cover.
Where it’s taylor, walking, in the middle, so small in the grand vast bluffs of a land that wasn’t her own.
In every single music video for every folklore song, the only ONE, THE ONLY ONE, where you get the same imagery, the same color palette as the album cover, is exile.
Which is about someone, a man walking the bluffs of a land that isn’t his own.
So if taylor is the man, then she’s
I can see you standing, honey
With his arms around your body
Guess who she has a close relationship with, who betrayed her, who got married to someone else?
*regina george anger screaming*
Me is a breakup song.
Taylor rereleasing red second has so much more weight to it now.
“In the land of heartbreak, moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion are intricately woven together with grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness.”
moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion – me, I PROMISE THAT YOU’LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER LIKE ME.
WATCH MISS AMERICANA AND I DARE YOU TO NOT SEE ME AS A SPITEFUL/VINDICTIVE/REBELLIOUS BREAK UP SONG
grief, paralyzing vulnerability and hopelessness – FOLKLORE.
Then I guess, fine… we’ll get to why hoax is so fucking meaningful yet you don’t understand why it is.
Yes, my only one.
Smoking gun.
I saw someone call this a reference to the fire and ash in mtr, but I also think of this as someone being your one weakness…
Think about it like this, in reputation
And what if the one person who kept you alive through all that
Betrayed you too.
Taylor talks so deeply and passionately over how much this person matters, they were her smoking gun.
Because they were what kept her going through the death of her reputation.
When no one trusted her that one person did.
They were her smoking gun.
My eclipsed sun.
Lover ended with daylight.
Taylor called reputation as night time.
And now what once was daylight has now been eclipsed over, by betrayal grief sadness desolation.
(darling this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart, folklore is as dark as rep)
Winless fight – ma & thp, fight that someday we’re gonna win.
They or she didn’t.
Frozen ground brings me back to holy ground and to doht, my love had been frozen
The imagery of hoax’s lv, is of a cliffside overlooking an ocean
Which brings me back to gorgeous, of OCEAN blue eyes looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die
Screaming, similar to mtr’s I still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky
(sidenote might not related to taylor references, but that line gives me hopelessness give me a reason to live vibes, and what with gorgeous’ line of sink and drown and die and this is me trying’s Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down…
Anw… the sidenote is cause that feeling of hopelessness just really resonates with me personally, kind of the type screaming at the universe, at whatever’s out there why… sigh…)
Faithless love – false god
Hoax – illicit afairs
Blue… rep (delicate)
Best laid plan – dbatc, paper cut stings from our paper thin plans
Sleight of hand???
Five whole minutes pack us up leave me with it???
Could barren land also be bluffs of a land that isn’t his own?? Idk… *shruggie*
Ash from your fire mtr
New york, DBATC, 1989, false god, cornelia street
Hero died, remember when I said I’d die for you? False god
What’s the movie for, exile, I think I’ve seen this film before
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart
Like I said, reputation… who was her saving grace/smoking gun from all that
THEY WERE THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE, TAYLOR HAD WHEN SHE WAS PULLED APART
SO THEY KNEW, THEY KNEW HOW MUCH IT HURT HER
BUT THEY BETRAYED HER ANYWAYS.
Password let you in the door, I knew you’d come back to me, front porch light cardigan
What you did was just as dark, just as hard
Why wouldn’t it be?
They were the one she had throughout all that turmoil… yet they betrayed her too…
Kingdom come undone – komh, we rule the kingdome inside my room
Beaten my heart – KOMH, dbatc
The feeling of thinking you found the one, the one you’re going to spend the rest of your life with… the one you would throw away all of this for…
Don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do
You don’t want anyone else but them if they were the one you were going to throw it all away for…
You don’t wanna say goodbye…
You just wanna keep feeling the pain, the love, the conflict that you had with them…
You don’t wanna say goodbye
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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years
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World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛
alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha
OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!
yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!
testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...
a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook
You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?
So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 
personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good
hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 
HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.
tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health
Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 
SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 
In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 
working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 
in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::
I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)
if you thought you saw me 
i’d think about it twice
cuz while i know i’m naughty
everybody thinks i’m nice
cutest giggles get me
places that i long to be
but it’s not long before
everybody hates me
when you figure out i’m fucked up
you’ll probably think that can’t be right
but babe my image runs to save me
cuz i’m ugly day and night
nothing good about me
not the angel that i seem
cuz i’m a piece of shit
and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams
i’m an impostor babe
you better run for your life
cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me
and you’re dripping off my knife
there’s no one here to save you
cuz you ate up all my lies
so beg me while you can
and draft up all your goodbyes 
if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!
okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??
will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.
eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire
been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /
check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /
we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /
been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?
also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.
OKAY AND FINALLY
n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.
literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV
little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 
i got my hopes up and got them destroyed
bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue
can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one
sitting here in silence, fabric running thin
petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen
embers from a cigarette falling to the floor
god i can’t take anymore
so i stumble to the window and pull the shades
and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade
i can’t understand why
i keep trying
cuz i never seem to win
but having any hope is how the light gets in 
from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.
powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style
watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.
this is the moment before impact
controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery
controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy
and this is the moment before impact
ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.
means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!
meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’
okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic
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angrylizardjacket · 4 years
Text
mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 4
4. i wanna know what’s your quietest feeling
Summary: So you’ve met his friends, and now his daughter, who’s the only other person who knows that this whole thing is a setup. But all she wants is to make sure that you’re not gonna break her dad’s heart; it shouldn’t be too hard to convince her that your intentions are good.
the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @kellysimagines @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit
----
Colson writes. A lot. You’d noticed it here and there being close to home, being close his studio, he’s buzzing with new ideas. There’s a ratty notebook that he keeps in the front pocket of his suitcase, held together by fibers and hope, that seems to be worth it’s weight in gold to him, full of lyrics and ideas that he’s been hoarding for as long as he’s been writing. About ten percent of the book has actually come to fruition, but that’s not what’s important about it, it’s that it’s positively brimming with potential as much as it is memories.
It’s been less than a year since his last album, and he’s made a few songs here and there, but now he writes, when inspiration strikes him, after work, or between takes. He’s in talks with Motley themselves, apparently, working on a part for one of their songs, rereleasing with the release of the film. For now, he writes, and he hums, and tests out lyrics under his breath.
“That sounds good,” it’s Sunday morning; he’s up earlier than you, which isn’t necessarily an unusual occurrence. He’s wearing sweatpants, hair curling a little at the ends where he’s letting it air dry, sitting up beside you on the bed. He’s got his notebook balanced on the one knee he’s got drawn up to him, while the other leg is kicked out in front of him, and he’s humming something while scrolling through his phone. He’s muttering something, lyrics you’re pretty sure, while something plays from his phone.
He seems a little surprised, like he’s coming out of a trance that the music had put him in, and smiles with an honest sincerity.
You yawn, and wiggle a little beneath the covers to properly face him, face half-smushed into the pillow. For a beat he looks at you like he wants to do something, like he wants to reach out and touch your cheek, trace his thumb across your lip - 
Wishful thinking. Probably.
“Rook’s been working on some stuff; he sent this through last night,” and he tapped away at his phone for a moment, replaying the track on his phone. It’s an instrumental, beat-heavy and the bones for a solid bop. You nod along to it, and he starts rapping under his breath again. 
“I think it could be something good,” he sounds quietly hopeful; he doesn’t sound like that often.
“Of course it’ll be good,” you say around a yawn, and this time he does reach out. 
“Go back to sleep,” he pinches gently at your cheek, and a warm rush of affection floods through you. Without thinking, you turn to press a quick kiss to his palm, a moment of gentle familiarity, and turn away, to go back to sleep, without thinking to watch for his reaction. You hear a faint, almost disbelieving huff of laughter, before the music starts back up again.
It’s not long before you’re ingratiated with his friends, who’ve all taken you and Colson in stride. Mostly it’s drinking and smoking and making music and playing video games, so even your initial anxiety is quick to fade.
That first morning, Wednesday, cool but sunny, it’s easy; Rook’s the only one awake when you and Colson arrive. He’s sitting at the kitchen island, perched on a stool with a pen stuck in his mouth, and a laptop and drum pad machine sitting on the counter, and when you walk in, he gives you a long, evaluative stare, a joint in between his fingers, idle.
“Hey man, this is Ducky,” Colson doesn’t seem to notice how you’ve frozen awkwardly in the doorway, moving past you to start searching the cupboards for food; Rook nods to him, before looking back at him, “Ducky, this is my man Rook,” and at that, he holds out his hand for the joint, and Rook passes it over, before looking back at you. You give a little, uncomfortable wave.
“Ducky?” He asks, curious rather than hostile, and you let yourself breathe, stepping into the room.
“Or Duck,” you explain, heading to the counter where Colson’s now wrestling with a packet of Doritos, “or [Y/N].” And you put your bag down, taking the seat beside Rook as Colson passes the joint back to him to get a better handle on the bag.
“Tight,” Rook says after a moment, apparently finding something in you that he approves of, because he follows it up by turning the laptop towards you, asking if you were into music. Of course you tell him you are - who isn’t? - but you don’t have a lot of experience in the production side of things.
“I mean,” you concede briefly, “about two years ago there was a trend going around on YouTube where you make a diss track about yourself -” Colson’s entire face lit up.
“You wrote a diss track about yourself? Don’t you do like cutesy vlogs and shit?” He asks, and it’s not meant to sound as unkind as it’s worded, though you still roll your eyes.
“It pays to be on trend,” you shrug, still a little embarrassed at the memory, “but it was fun.” 
Colson is looks actually impressed, while Rook is still chewing on the end of his pen, typing away frantically. After a beat, Colson turns to him -
“Her channel name is DuckDuckBooth -”
“I’ve already found the video,” Rook says with a smile, and you have to hide your face in your hands as they watch with equal parts fondness, and a little bit of second hand embarrassment.
Colson posts to his Instagram story a video of Rook jamming out to your self-diss track, before the camera swings around to see you flipping them both off with a fond smile. Your video is the only sound that can be heard for the full duration of the ten second video -
“Too scared of you’re face on the big, big screen, you think YouTube’s gonna be more stable / even though you use your bro for views every chance that you’re able. / With all of the time that you spend around sets, they all think you’re a professional stalker / and you spill you’re guts when you’re NDA free; you’ve made a career as Hollywood’s biggest talker. / [As if! Who asked for the Perez Hilton of the production crew?!]”
He tags both you and Rook, and captioned the video with a question: Should we remix Ducky’s self-diss track from 2016? With two options for fans to choose: Yes. or Definitely.
But Rook’s not who your worried about. None of Colson’s friends really worry you. 
Casie arrives a week and a half after you’ve all moved locations, to see her dad, to meet you, and to sit in on production for about a week. 
When you finally meet her, her cocked hip and crossed arms reminds you of Colson; she’s four and a bit feet of skepticism and an unmatched, effortlessly cool energy, and you realise too late that you’re kind of intimidated by an elementary schooler. 
“I’ve seen your videos,” is the first thing she says to you, and you find yourself smiling, bewildered. 
“Cas -” Colson’s voice holds a note of warning where he’s currently getting his tattoos covered. He’s standing with his arms out, looking straight ahead while Corey, the key makeup artist, and his team, airbrush and colour correct like their lives depend on it.
“I’m making sure she’s taking care of you,” Casie, unwavering in both her conviction and her loyalty, shifts her weight to her other foot. “The drum video was cute.” And you’re not quite sure if it’s a compliment, judging by the cool tone of her voice, but she’s wearing a slight smile that you’ve seen on Colson far too many times to not recognize it. This feels like the first of many tests.
She’s adamant that she’s not someone to be bought, though the thought had barely crossed your mind. When she nods approvingly at your dismissal of the suggestion, you can’t help but frown.
“How many girls have tried to get on her good side by buying her stuff?” You ask Colson quietly, out of Casie’s earshot later that night. For a moment, he looks as close to guilty as you’ve ever seen him.
“Not a lot, like one or two maybe; not a lot of girls meet her,” he admitted, “but the ones that try and buy her gifts and shit, they always turned out to be the worst ones,” and perhaps the guilt intensifies a little more, “she’s a good kid; always saw that before I could.”
“She’s a good kid,” you repeated, softer this time, with a faint smile, and when Colson comes back to reality, he gives your shoulder a squeeze.
She’s on set a lot for the days that she’s staying with you all, and when she sees you at work, she appears to warm to you; you’re not sure when you forgot that she was just a child trying to protect her father, but you’re reminded when you see the starry-eyed look she’s giving the makeup artists.
“Hey Corey,” you ask, smiling a little, and the makeup artist who had been in the middle of his lunch looks up from his phone with wide, alert eyes, “could one of your people give Casie here a little bit of 80s glam?” You ask sweetly, and his expression tuns fond as he nods. Casie turns wide-eyed and a little abashed at request, and murmurs that she doesn’t want to be any trouble. Both Corey and yourself wave away her concerns, and Amy, one of the makeup assistants, is more than happy to give the young girl a bit of glitter and gloss to the excited young girl.
She’s got glitter on her eyelids, and blush and highlighter adorning her cheeks, and a shiny, clear lip gloss making her smile that little bit brighter by the time the makeup woman is done with her, and Casie is practically glowing.
“How in the hell,” Colson starts with a grin when she goes to him to show off, “did I end up with the most stylish kid in the world? Cas, you look like a model.” Pride is radiating off of him in waves, and he pulls out his phone, “babe, get a picture, she looks so fuckin’ cool,” he enthuses, and if your heart skips a beat as his casual use of a pet-name, you’re enough of a professional not to let it show. Casie is calling him embarrassing, but is still beaming, and with him in full costume and her all made up, the picture you take - he’s standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders, and she’s got her arms crossed, both of them looking serious and menacing at the camera - you think they might be the coolest people you’ve ever met. Certainly one of the most photogenic father/daughter duos you’ve ever come across.
“Do not make it your phone background,” Casie presses her embarrassed smile into his shoulder where they’re reviewing the photo back in his trailer.
“But I’m not allowed to post it, and I wanna admire it every day - look at you!” He’s pointedly zooming in on her stony expression in the photo.
“[Y/N], tell him he’s being ridiculous,” Casie implored you, and you threw your hands up in surrender.
“I’m not allowed to say what is and isn’t a ridiculous phone background,” you say automatically, which piques both of their interests, and you immediately regret saying anything.
“Babe,” Colson says, prompting you, and you feel yourself growing flustered, both because you’re going to have to admit that your background is a photo of you two, and that he’s called you that twice in about half an hour. Casie’s amused now, smiling, her arms crossed as she raises her eyebrows at you expectantly. Taking a deep breath, you unlock your phone.
“I’m just trying to be a good girlfriend,” you say, avoiding their gazes as you show them your home screen, and your background; the paparazzi photo of you and Colson beneath the boardwalk.
“Is that how you organise your apps?” Is what Casie has to say, which has Colson snorting with laughter, though when you finally look at him, you see him wearing a weirdly pleased little smile.
“Ducky, that’s weird and adorable -”
“It’s not weird!” You protest, snatching back your phone, flustered, but Casie just rolls her eyes, pulling out her own phone.
“Come here, both of you,” she instructs, sounding terribly put upon by the both of you. You both crowd around her, with only slight confusion. “Look convincing.” She holds up her phone, and you both frown a little.
“What?”
“Look convincing,” she insists again, gesturing between the two of you, and finally coming to understand her meaning, Colson gives her an endeared, almost proud look, and you in turn are looking fondly at him. Neither of you have noticed that she’s already taken the selfie. After a beat, she lowers the phone and starts looking at the few photos she’d taken, and both you and Colson seem a little surprised at her speed. “Dad, I’ll send it to you, you send it to her; you can have a photo of both of us looking cool, and a photo of your ‘girlfriend’,” she explains with implicit air quotes, “and [Y/N], you don’t have to have a creepy pap’s picture as your background.” She taps away for a moment before swiftly sending the best photo to Colson, “plus you’ll match.”
“You’re a little genius,” you tell her once Colson’s sent you the photo. Casie beams at you.
“I know.”
And the way you’re smiling in the photo is more than convincing.
[ID: A series of three tweets from @machinegunkelly:
1: Retweeted with the caption ‘🥰🥰’, originally posted by @duckduckbooth with no caption: Two pictures of Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn 99 holding a golden retriever puppy with an edited caption reading ‘I’ve only known CASIE BAKER for a day and a half but if anything happened to HER I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.’
2: Tweeted: when me n my girls (my daughter and @duckduckbooth) hang out i realize i’m somehow the least fashionable in the group. when did that happen wtf 😳😳 
3. Tweeted: maybe you'll skip to the end and pass all the irrational decisions, patch up all the passion that was missin'. i think that's enough. i'm feelin' lovesick.
End ID.]
Maybe it’s that she likes you, maybe she’s just trying to keep an eye on you to make sure you’ve got her dad’s best intentions at heart, but Casie takes it upon herself to almost shadow you while on set, at least when she’s not with her dad.
“What’s your next video going to be?” She asks one afternoon when you’re both waiting for Colson in his trailer as he gets his makeup removed for the day. She’s watching a video on her phone and you’re reading emails on yours, and you look up, interested. After a moment, she pauses her video, looking up, looking back at you, “I like your ‘day in the life’ ones.” 
“I didn’t realise you liked my videos,” you said with faint amusement, and she gives a small smile.
“I’ve been binging them,” she admits, and shuffles a little, sitting up further where she’s reclining on the uncomfortable little sofa, “your editing is really nice; I liked your Euro-Disney video, it was really pretty.”
“Thanks,” you find yourself a little humbled at her compliment, and find yourself musing that you’d like to get back to that style of video, “hey,” you find yourself coming up with an idea, something Colson had said during your first actual date, and with Casie herself now here, it was the perfect opportunity, “do you wanna be in a video?”
“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic for some of my older content, and was inspired by none other than Miss Casie Baker, so what better day than this beautiful Friday afternoon, to take you all along with Casie, Kells, and I as we head to a boardwalk fair.”
It’s a short drive to the boardwalk, and once you’re there, it’s almost unbearably cheesy. Rides, candy, you and Colson in competition trying to win a prize for Casie at one of the cheap game booths.
You’re filming on and off the whole time, getting aesthetic shots, your heart growing warmer with each genuine smile you manage to catch on camera. You take endless candid photos of Colson and Casie, and even though you know you can’t be out too late because you and Colson are due on set at eight, you make the most of the time you have.
After an hour and a half, you stop at the food vendor, craving hot chips, and Colson orders, while Casie takes your hand, the two of you hanging back.
"Can we go on the Ferris Wheel?"
"Just a minute kiddo, food's almost ready," Colson tells her over his shoulder, but she tugs at your hand, making her meaning more clear.
"You can catch up, we can go around twice; I wanna talk to [Y/N]," she tells him plainly, and you give her a smile, already acquiescing to her suggestion. Colson makes a noise of gentle protest, but he sees her hand in yours, and the reassuring look you've leveled at him. 
"Take care of my girl," he tells you with a faux seriousness, and Casie gives a small grin at that.
"I'll protect her with my life," you promise, leaning in to kiss his cheek. 
"You better," he grinned, tone fond and a little teasing, before assuring that he'd meet you both up there, and you're left wondering what about you screamed 'let's have a serious conversation on a Ferris Wheel' because if it happens again, it goes from a coincidence to a pattern. Casie drops your hand and trots easily through the crowd to the Wheel that had cast the rest of the fair in shadow as the sun set behind it. The ride operator gives you a toothy smile as she secures the door behind the two of you, and Casie links her fingers, resting her elbows on her knees, and her chin on her hands, evaluating you with an inscrutable look. She waits until the basket is about a quarter of the way around before saying anything; for your part, you’re silent, she’s the one who wanted to speak after all.
“Dad doesn’t do fake,” she says finally, sitting back, and lets you wonder in silence for a few moments, what that even means, “I know he did, I’m not blind or deaf, people… people talk to me. A lot. About things my dad’s done.” This piece of information has your expression souring - she’s just a kid - but she doesn’t seem bothered by it, she just seems… almost confused.
“I’m not going to -”
“I know.” She cuts you off before you can even voice what reassurance you could manage, “I’ve gathered that; you’re good. Better than probably any other girl who’s gotten with him for clout.”
“I’m not -” You try to protest and she does look a little apologetic, but after a moment, you stop yourself, and let her continue, trying to understand where she was coming from.
“I know why he likes you, I get it, you -” she averts her gaze for a moment, suddenly a little embarrassed, “you’re actually really cool,” she admits, and your heart softens, but you keep quiet, and let her build back up to her bravado, “but back when his manager had him with like, models and actresses and things, they were all - I mean sometimes they were nice, but they always thought they were better than him, or they just treated him like dirt when people weren’t around, so now, dad doesn’t do fake.” It’s said definitively. You’re at the top of the Ferris Wheel now, stopped for a few moments, and she looks out at the  rest of the fair, and then down to the base of the ride, letting herself smile when she spots Colson at the bottom, giving him a wave. 
Somehow, sitting in this basket in the sky, it feels like a mafia movie, like this little girl is implying she’ll break your kneecaps if you hurt her father. Or she’s implying something that your heart dare not read into, lest you get your hopes up.
“Dad doesn’t break his rules for just anyone,” Casie finally sits back up, and there’s a new, kinder quality about her voice, before it turns young, turns plaintive, and you’re reminded that she’s just a child looking out for her dad, her hero, “please don’t make him regret it. He’s a good person, I know what people say but he’s -”
“Casie, I care about him. A lot.” You tell her honestly, gently, and she blinks wide and surprised for a few moments, before her expression turns to almost weirdly pleased, maybe even a little smug.
“Good.” She says with conviction, before looking out at the horizon, “this would be a nice shot.”
“It’d be nicer with your dad,” you hear yourself saying, and Casie huffs out a laugh that sounds so much like her father, agreeing quietly. When your basket stops at the bottom of the wheel, Colson flashes his ride wristband to the kid operating it, and he slides into the seat beside you. Casie’s still smiling as she takes a chip from where he offered them.
“Nice chat?” He asks, and offers you the chips too. 
“I like her,” Casie announces, and you grin to yourself, “dad, I love you, but you’d better treat Duck right; we’re friends now.” Which sets Colson off laughing, and you turn on your camera.
“You were meant to be on my side,” he laughs, and Casie shrugs.
“I am, I’m on both your sides.”
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kevinskorner · 4 years
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Katy Delivers!: Smile Review
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First off, I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS to Katy and Orlando for having their daughter, DAISY DOVE BLOOM! I absolutely ADORE that name and I was hoping that they would pick the name Daisy! Katy has been working non. stop. ever since “Daisies” came out. Doing promo after promo, either American Idol or just interviews, she has worked her ass off to promote this album and doing it all PREGNANT. Power. Mom. Moves. After “witnessing” (lol I had to) the Witness era and seeing it underperform and seeing Katy battling depression it was really upsetting. Katy has been a force in the pop music world since she came out with “I Kissed A Girl” and when Witness came along and it wasn’t performing like her past three records, she was disappointed which totally makes sense BUT, the success of her first three albums was very rare and unlike any other pop star. I mean, a number one debut single, 5 number one songs from her second album, the most for any artist, (its really 6 because there was a rerelease but anyway) 2 number one’s from the third album I mean... That success doesn’t usually happen for an artist in their first few album so I totally understand why Katy would be upset by the underperformance of Witness because she was living on that high for so long. 
Now, we come to the present. Katy has come out with her fifth studio album Smile and I really enjoy it. I heard Katy say that she didn’t expect to make an album like this or that it wasn’t planned but I think it’s a perfect representation of what she’s gone through and who she’s become. Katy really did lose her “smile” after Witness. She went through a lot, but she has made it back onto the other side and has become a stronger person. She’s more dignified, humbled and simplified and you can see it. She’s still the Katy Perry we all know and love but she’s grown now. I will never get over the fact that she gave BIRTH to her FIRST CHILD and release her FIFTH album in the span of three days. 
“Never Really Over” has become a staple in Katy’s discography and I would call it a classic. It’s just so addicting and a GREAT pop song. When Katy announced the tracklist I didn’t know how I felt about it as the opening track but I think once I listened to the album straight through, it made sense. She says “two years and just like that my head still takes me back, thought it was done but I guess it never, really, over”. The production in “Cry About It Later” is so good. I can totally relate to the lyrics because it talks about when you wanna put your emotions to the side and not focus on the drama or sadness going on, just live in the fun moment you’re having. I honestly love it. THE CHORUS in “Teary Eyes” IS EVERYTHING. I’m loving this new venture Katy has taken musically with the more club/house/dance vibe. That is the type of music you want to listen to when you’ve lost your smile and are trying to find the goodness in life again. “Daisies” has really grown to be a great song. It can be played on and on and i’ll still scream every word. It has even more meaning with Daisy Dove Bloom being born now. I don’t know how it goes with the album aesthetically but I still love it. “Look at me now, look at me now, I’m in full bloom”. “Resilient” as a song is my least favorite but, it does have some of my favorite lyrics. I like the message of pushing through in the lyric “you’re gonna watch this flower grow right through the cracks”. Ugh, I'm just loving the the metaphors to her daughter and to Orlando because she is like the flower in her life becoming a Bloom and giving birth to a Daisy. Also, her vocals remind me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it... I was NOT expecting this SERVE in “Not The End Of The World”. I think this is actually a perfect pop song for 2020 honestly. It’s giving post apocalyptical/rise but more poppy and ooo i LOVE the sample! I have really grown to like “Smile”. It took me a little while to catch on but it’s so fun and catchy and just enjoyable. I also love the  Giorgio Moroder remix even more! I totally can see how “Champagne Problems” relates to Katy and Orlando’s relationship. After their break up they’ve come back together and realized how much they love each other and as long as they have that love, they don’t have any worries. I really love “Tucked”’s chorus and it makes me wanna just groove! It sort of gives that roller skating at a roller rink vibe. “Harleys In Hawaii” is a CLASSICCCC. It’s just GREAT. SMOOTH & SEXYYYYYY. I’m really happy that it ending up making it on the album because it’s too good not to be. “Only Love” was a surprise to me. I didn’t even know there was a song with this title on it. It’s so raw and brings out the emotions while also making your head bop. It helps you realize what’s important in life and to stop thinking about the negativity. In “What Makes A Woman”, I love the “doing what the fuck I want” lyric and production. This is such a great note to end the album on because it shows the power and strength Katy has and it shows her vulnerability as she goes into this new chapter of life as a mother.
I am so happy for Katy. I am so THRILLED that she got her SMILE back! This is a solid album filled with pop joy that helps you put on a smile. I recommend listening straight through. 
Standout Tracks: “Never Really Over”, “Teary Eyes”, “Cry About It Later”, “Daisies”, “Harleys in Hawaii”, “Only Love”. 
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REVISIT: RADIOHEAD DEBUTED WITH THE PABLO HONEY ALBUM THIS DAY IN 1993
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Radiohead released their first album, Pablo Honey, which first came out today (February 22) in 1993, released via labels, Parlophone/Capitol. In late 1991, after a chance meeting between bassist, Colin Greenwood, and EMI A&R representative, Keith Wozencroft, at Colin's work, On A Friday signed a six-album recording contract with EMI.  At the label's behest, the band changed their name to Radiohead. This was taken from the song, “Radio Head”, on True Stories (1986) by Talking Heads. Fast forward to the Radiohead guys releasing their debut EP next year in 1992. Three of the four songs, “Prove Yourself”, “You” and “Thinking About You”, on Drill made their way as reworked versions onto their debut album, Pablo Honey. The latter, of course, synonymous with 1992 debut single, “Creep”.  Even then, it wasn’t a commercial success until rereleased the following year, in 1993.  It incorporates “The Air That I Breathe” (1972), by The Hollies, with members, Albert Hammond and Mike Hazlewood, credited accordingly.  In later years, the band got fed up with the song and eschewed performing it live for some time. Rumour states that lead guitarist and keyboardist, Jonny Greenwood (elder brother is Colin Greenwood), and his famous guitar crunches in the chorus were supposedly an attempt to ruin the song, as he did not like it. Producer, Paul Kolderie, also stated that, “Jonny played the piano at the end of the song and it was gorgeous”.  The piano was mixed in at the wrong time, the band decided to keep the take regardless. “Creep” had been played frequently on Israeli radio by influential DJ, Yoav Kutner, and, after the song became a hit in Isreal, Radiohead were invited to Tel Aviv for their first gig overseas.  San Francisco alternative radio station, KITS, added “Creep” to its playlist, along with other West Coast stations of the United States. By the time of their first North American tour in June 1993, the music video for “Creep” was heavily rotated on MTV. The album's title comes from a prank call skit by American comedy act, The Jerky Boys, in which the prank caller says to his victim, “Pablo, honey? Please come to Florida!” Singles for this album were “Creep”, “Anyone Can Play Guitar” and “Stop Whispering”. Listeners really get a sense of their sound in “You”.  This chimes in with melancholy, then driving guitar strides with purpose. Awesome.  It then broods with sparse guitar with striving bass and moody drum.  Clattering chords threaten the relative peace.  “It’s like the world is gonna end so soon” capturing this tumultuous feeling; knowing you’re neither here nor there, kind of thing. The guitar chords crunch, fighting with the more delicate, dainty playing. “Creep” is simply sadness and the atmosphere of that sadness.  “You float like a feather, in a beautiful world” befitting of such instrumentation.  Then chord cuts swathes through this dwelling in one’s own sadness. “I want you to notice when I’m not around” like a self-destructive tendency if you don’t catch her eye, in some way.  Lead vocalist and main songwriter, Thom Yorke, really wails in a kind of musical way, a beautiful cry for attention.  “I don’t belong here” the closing realisation. “How Do You?” has an almost bratty punk feel to it; but quite likeable and charming, too.  The guitar melody gives it a musicality, almost to polish it up a bit.  It then ends in disgrace, piano defiled. The librarian gets pedantic in “Stop Whispering”.  This sounds as it should, pensive in seeming deep thought.  “There’s nothing to say, and there’s nothing to do” at odds with the persistence of the drums, ticking like the sands of time. Like someone clockwatching you.  Halfway and layers build as thought processes seemingly complicate.  Earnest guitar exploratory like coming upon new ground. At least in the mind, anyway.  The escape of imagination?  Things get frenetic, like these thoughts gathering pace, racing thoughts.  Guitar barely pausing for breath, ending in punky shambles. “Thinking About You” is immediate yet acoustic.  The vocals pleasant and clean.  “Been thinking about you, and there’s no rest” like pouring over someone’s minutiae.  “I’ve been thinking about you, so how can you sleep?/These people aren’t your friends, they’re paid to kiss your feet” another example of thinking about you and declaring he knows you best.  It ends almost as quickly as it began.  The punk aesthetic of “Anyone Can Play Guitar” has noodling that definitely showcases that anyone can play guitar.  The song proper is a bit dumb of guitar, too, but with quite a sophisticated bassline underlying all.  The chorus is surprisingly rousing, given what precedes.  “I wanna, wanna be Jim Morrison” like having musical ambition, wanting fortune and fame, but kind of outstripping your abilities.  Hence the song title, you could say. “Ripcord” veers from quiet pondering and triumphant volume, quite quickly and expertly. Halfway is some searing guitar, nothing on a technical level but full of power and intensity.  It’s a ripping piece of rock music, immediate yet memorable. “Vegetable” is deceptive, the calm laid to waste with satisfying electric guitar.  The solo’s as much emotive as it’s primal and incorrect. You’re urged to “Prove Yourself”, which’s wistful with, “Can’t afford to breathe in this town” like a real inferiority complex. The thick guitar slides ebullient, a real joy despite all that besets.  Hammering drum and thoughtful bass gives way to Yorke with guitar at the top of his voice.  The downbeat in places “I Can’t” is quite anthemic, the perfect mix of dynamics ranging from introspective and quiet to extroverted and with much verve.  “Even though I might, even though I try I can't” is then followed by bass laying the framework for introverted to extroverted.  “Lurgee” has a down in the dumps feel, “I feel better, now you’re gone”.  This, perhaps, some sort of comfort in sadness.  Certainly the instrumentation doesn’t seem as thankful as Yorke does in said lyric.  Maybe the wounds take time to heal, and he won’t truly be thankful until it all sinks in. The album closes in a melodramatic respect in “Blow Out”.  This one’s quite atmospheric, a romantic kind of lilt to it.  This gives way to a wall of guitar chord that just washes over you.  “Everything I touch, turns to stone” is greeted with relative silence, then a cacophony of guitar hitting in sync with drum offers drama, a loud kind of grandeur.  This races like a heart thumping almost out the chest.  It comes to a screeching end, buzz saw guitar ringing out into the ethereal. All the tracks on Pablo Honey worthy highlights are “You”, “Creep”, “Anyone Can Play Guitar”, “Ripcord”, “Vegetable”, “Prove Yourself”, “I Can’t”, “Lurgee” and “Blow Out”. Personally, the fact this is three quarters of the twelve track total is something special.  Furthermore, this is far from the most highly regarded album they’ve done so the fact this’s a classic speaks volumes of their subsequent material. Radiohead, at this point, had really not messed about with this, their debut album.  Yes, the success this album brought was a protracted process but they hardly needed subsequent releases to get the formula right.  Next, 1995’s The Bends, was arguably better but the fact this’s a classic’s no mean feat. Nine brilliant tracks out of a twelve total isn’t much to rail against.  Radiohead’s Pablo Honey can be bought on iTunes, here.
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