Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
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julien baker live lyric changes masterpost
the many ways that julien changes her lyrics over time and seamlessly alters the lyrics and meanings of her songs to maintain a level of personal authenticity has become so fascinating to me and many others so i thought it'd be nice to do some research and compile as many as i can.
enjoy! or cry! whichever!
the original lyrics are in parenthesis, changes are bolded, roughly in chronological order and i’ve added timestamped links to performances [x] where i can! i use mostly youtube because it's the most accessible. some of these seem to be permanent changes and others are just occasional, probably depending on how she's vibing with the song at the time (i'm assuming). let me know of any i’ve missed!
Rejoice: [x] [x] [x] pronoun change, does this lots!
"i know there's a god and they hear either way"
("i think there's a god and he hears either way")
[x] she uses the 'she' pronoun here this time!
[x] she sings 'force' here and also in a version she performed pre-release
"asking why did you let them leave and then force me to stay?"
("asking why did you let them leave and then make me stay?")
Good News: [x] [x] [x] these are not full lyric changes but rather some gut-wrenching repetition. side note she performs a cover of paul by big thief in the first clip here too!
"it's less about you / it's all about how i ruin everything oh everything i do / everything i do / god i ruin everything oh everything / oh everything i think could be good news."
("it's less about you / it's more about how i ruin everything--- i think could be good news")
Distant Solar Systems: [x] pronoun change speaking of god, she also omits the second last verse.
"I send postcards from the road and now and then she answers"
("and now and then he answers")
Turn Out the Lights: [x] [x] [x] this one hurts! a few times in late '18 and in '19
"maybe i'd do it but it's not a joke"
("i'd never do it but it's not a joke")
Sour Breath: [x] [x] another one that hurts!!
"think all the liquors gonna keep me warm / burn everything down just to prove i could / leave you inside a body made of wood"
("think all the liquors gonna keep you warm / burn everything down just to prove you could / leave me inside a body made of wood")
[x] audio only from 1:16 (same changes as above +)
"i don't do too well when everyone's worried about me"
("i don't do too well when nobody's worried about me")
Appointments: [x] [x] [x] in lots of performances post-2018. she switches between using 'know' and 'think' occasionally
“i know that i ruined this / but i think i can live with it / nothing turned out how pictured it ... i think that i failed again / but i know you’re still listening”
("i think if i ruin this / that i know i can live with it / nothing turns out like I pictured it ... i think if i fail again / then i know you’re still listening")
[x] audio only - from 2:45 (same changes as above +)
"i hope you're still listening"
("i know you're still listening")
Happy to Be Here: [x] tiny changes. not sure if she's done this more than once
"different me would be inhabiting my body / have two cars, a garage, a dog..."
("different me would be inhabiting this body / have two cars, a garage, a job...")
Something: [x] [x] [x] [x] (she adds 'again' a lot, even since 2015)
“asking aloud why you’re leaving again”
(“asking aloud why you’re leaving--”)
[x] (this was prior to release)
"asking aloud why you're leaving again / i know you won't answer me"
("asking aloud why you're leaving --- / but the pavement won't answer me")
Red Door: [x]
"beneath before you won't follow me down"
("beneath before you wont follow me there")
Shadowboxing: [x] [x audio only - from 3:09]
"tell me that you love me / tell me you love me / i wanted so bad to believe you / so tell me you loved me / tell me you loved me / i wanted so bad to believe you" )
("when you tell me you love me / tell me you loved me / i wanted so bad to believe it / so tell me you love me / tell me you loved me")
Ziptie: [x] [x] [x] [x] (side note the end of the second clip rules!!)
“someone’s/somethings got my heart in a ziptie”
(“someone’s got my head in a ziptie”)
Tokyo: [x] [x] [x audio only - from 1:30] in a few performances in 2022
“a seven-car pile-up of every disastrous thing that i am"
(“a seven-car pile-up of every disastrous thing that i’ve been”)
+ also sings "accident" instead of "aftermath" in the audio clip
Relative Fiction: [x] [x] [x] [x] does this lots!
"honey you're the only thing i'll wait around for"
("--you’re the only thing i’ll wait around for")
Highlight Reel: [x] [x audio only from 1:45 ] original chorus lyrics are 'you feel' but now in one chorus she sings 'to' and the other she sings 'you'
"ooh it's a highlight reel / tell me how to feel"
("ooh it's a highlight reel / tell me how you feel")
Ringside: [x] [x] [x audio only from 3:50] two separate lyrics changes in these clips!
"like a scratch-off ticket how i dig my nails into your skin"
("like a scratch-off ticket how you dig your nails into my skin")
(from final verse)
“nobody deserves a second chance / so why do i keep getting them?”
(“nobody deserves a second chance / but i keep giving them”)
[x] [x] (from the second last verse)
“nobody deserves a second chance / but somehow i keep fucking getting them”
(“nobody deserves a second chance / but honey i keep getting them")
Anti-Curse: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] she doesn't always change 'foreign characters'
"writing the words to the best love song you've ever heard" ...“sounding out familiar characters”
("writing the words to the worst love song you've ever heard"...“sounding out the foreign characters”)
Favor: [x] [x] [x] [x] first change - changing to 'why?' in most live performances
“why couldn’t you make me do it?”
(“well you couldn’t make me do it”)
[x] [x] new change from MSG in 2023!
“how did you make me do it?”
(“well you couldn’t make me do it”)
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Funeral Pyre: [x]
this is just a funny thing i found on my hunt. the audience accidentally corrected her grammar, theyre singing along and sing "needed so badly" instead of the original "needed so bad" and everyone took a lil' moment to laugh.
Funeral Pyre: allegedly. i just read about it somewhere so have no proof!!
“while i drank gasoline 'cause it's what i needed so bad”
(“while you drank gasoline 'cause it's what you needed so bad”)
Shadowboxing: [x]
she doesn't really change any lyrics significantly but repeats the final verse for emphasis.
Good News: [x] (i think an early/demo version but i cant find any other recordings/videos of this version!)
"how i fuck up everything i think could be good news"
("how i ruin everything i think could be good news")
Rejoice: [x] house show performance from 2015 before official release. a few different lyrics!
"ask you why did you let them leave and then force me to stay?"
("asking why did you let them leave and then make me stay?")
(final verse)
"i rejoice anyway / i rejoice either way"
("i rejoice i rejoice / i rejoice i rejoice")
Sour Breath: [x]
she added a new mini verse repeating "the harder i swim" where there are usually just instrumentals or 'oohs.' then she continued with the original final "the harder i swim the faster i sink" verse.
Sour Breath: [x] house show performance from 2015 before official release. there's an entire additional verse where the repeated 'the harder i swim the fast i sink' usually is. proceed with caution.
"...too late to talk just go to sleep
been up too long and you've been drinkin' all night
it's almost a week and you haven't said a word
been thinkin' it isn't worth the tryin'
it takes to fix everything you hate about me
all that you wouldn't wanna see
the harder i swim, the faster i sink
and all i ever wanted was to pull you down with me
was to pull you down with me
don't you wanna sink with me?
don't you wanna drown with me?
just let me pull you down..."
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