#there's a trick to making things ugly where they should still be appealing

[bookrat]

A very ugly Dimorphodon

#sculpture #paleoart #pterosaur #there was a lot of outside influence in this one's design and I don't think I care for it #there's a trick to making things ugly where they should still be appealing #and this falls a bit short #also I ended up fighting tooth and nail against using a David Peters skull reconstruction for the skull but a little bit still got shoved in

[goblinshork]

Ok so what abaut Bodyguard and Agony whith a a naga prince that just hates the royal life and dreams of just having a simple life living in a cottage and selling homemade jewelry, so Reader his childhood best friend, personal bodyguard and person who he feel in love whith decides to make his dream come true (bonus if the prince has a sister so the kingdown whont stay whiout a ruler and she helps Reader whith the plan, bonus+ if the prince is kinda huge and scary to other people but he is just a chill dude that likes to make rings and necklaces)

Short scenario please! (Also sorry if its too long, feel free to just ignore this if you whant)

Not too long at all and I think it's an extremely charming idea! Thank you for sharing; big gruff, undercover sweeties are one of the most Choice(tm) archetypes.

This also got super long, but the vibes were singing to me.

Features: Slight angst, happy ending, kissing

Bodyguard + Agony (Monster Ask Meme)

Hands, Touching Hands (m!Naga x gn!Reader) [3.7k]

“Don’t lie, how many names do you remember?”

Alok yawned, curved fangs peaking out from almost-lips.

“None, thankfully,” he said, scratching at his curls, cut short enough that they barely formed.

“Impressive.”

“Oh—no, you won’t distract me. You agree with me don’t you?”

The book Alok had toyed the entire briefing slammed shut, the many bracelets at his wrist clinking for emphasis when you did not answer.

Watching him unfurl his tense length of tail, broad shoulders rising far above you as he 'stood', there was little to say but, "It’s not my place."

"Then it’s not mine, either."

He slunk toward the door and you picked up the book--the monstrous thing--with your arms rather than your hands before following him.

"Just give it time," you said in a reassurance that was too shallow to drown his mood.

Every move forward looked painful as he slithered forward like a child first learning to move against stone rather than soft grass. Unlike when he was a child, he was stilted by frustration rather than inexperience.

The conversation was left dropped, burning like the weight of the tome in your arms. If you were alone, you'd tell him to carry it. But servants, nobles, and royals passed frequently, all low bows and murmurs, moving on a touch quicker than polite.

When you first arrived to the kingdom, a slave dressed sweetly and presented as a gift, you'd marveled at how anyone could find the royal family intimidating when removed from their wealth and status.

Baby yellow skin and soft pink dapples painted everyone of them. Alok, himself, was more pink than yellow, and it reminded you of those delicate, painted dolls you'd press your face against glass to get a closer look at before being shooed away by the shop-keep.

You supposed little had changed since then, except now you were simply stared at, expected to keep your fingers off the pretty pink glass always, always in front of you.

The hallway Alok stopped moving forward in was empty, private; his. Without a word, you tossed the horrible book toward his crossed arms and swept the windows, floors, and ceiling for anything strange. His fumbling for the book, fingers audibly skimming against pages, made you smile.

"It's clear," you nodded. "Workshop, right?"

Alok deflated a bit, too caught between the mention of his workshop and pretending to have perfectly caught the book to keep his anger stoked.

"You're asking now," he said flat, looking from the book to you.

Putting up your hands in mock defeat, you turned, alert enough.

@

"I'm not angry at you.” The slits that served for his pupils, deep red and small in their focus on the gem he was cutting, turned to you when you said nothing in response.

“Sorry, I--” was dazzled by your eyes? Was enamored by how passionate you are for perfecting that sparkling little gem? “I know.”

“I just wanted to say it.”

You stretched from your place beside the door, perched on one of the few chairs at your disposal in the entire castle, “Thank you.”

“Don’t be patronizing,” Alok grumbled, pausing in his work. “I know...I know very well you must be tired of this, even if you won’t say it.”

The window was suddenly so interesting, your throat burning as you swallowed down the feeling kindling there.

“This is my home,” you said after hearing the scales of his tail shift closer. “There’s nothing to be tired of.”

Slowly, his hand rose to hover over yours, where it lay on your lap, “But you should be. I’d give you anything you needed. They couldn’t stop me.”

Everything you wanted to say was tucked in the patch of air that separated his touch from yours.

Any person, bought and raised to be singularly loyal would hesitate at the offer of freedom, wouldn’t they?

They’d want to grab his hand, wouldn’t they?

You could only guess as a love for a prince was not something to be said aloud unless you were allowed.

And you, a slave turned body guard, were not.

Standing, you scattered the almost-moment with a shake of your head, “I don’t care about freedom half as much as you think I do.”

His hand fell limp to his side, the slits that served as his nose flaring wide, as you continued.

“I’m your bodyguard and I’ll be your children’s bodyguard and I’ll be the same to whoever you choose from that book,” you finished, thoroughly shooing yourself away, wanting so much to run out the door.

Alok said your name quietly, but you remained silent.

And everything was still until it wasn’t.

In one smooth motion propelled by his sheer size, Alok stretched to the book and hurled it out the open window.

“No, you won’t. I’ll be their prince,” he said low, body suddenly too large for the room. “But I won’t be their king.”

You did run, then.

@

Perhaps the only place off-limits for a would-be king allergic to potential suitors was his sister’s drawing room.

Adur payed you no attention as she demanded entertainment from the brightly colored darlings and dark patterned beauties of the upper echelon.

“Did you know, I simply adore the pattern of your bangles lately,” she cooed, pointing to a decorated tail. “So perfectly in style.”

She continued on, picking this and that to sigh over, as you stood against the corner that provided the best view of the room, next to the door. 

You recognized each piece she fawned over as being similar to something Alok had on display or nearly-done in his workshop. Ah, to know a magician’s tricks.

Melting into a squat, you let their voices wash over you. No heart could hurt for long listening to women enjoy court gossip as much as this bunch did...from a distance.

When you, Alok, and Adur were younger, the rules seemed less stone and more like blades of grass, flexible and beneath you. Adur set you in front of her always revolving group of friends and tried to fit tail bangles around your thighs and waist. Alok insisted you sit side-by-side while studying geography, arithmetic, and etiquette. You lay between them on sunny afternoons, napping, legs touching tails.

But everything golden goes grey eventually.

“Well, do tell me. Did he throw it in the fire?”

You turned from the window, swapping red, setting sun for sharp, red eyes, “Out of the window.”

The room was empty but for you and her now. Adur pacing around, tail making quick work of circling the room as she read from her collection of letters.

“Still the amount of melodrama I expected so,” she shrugged, raising shoulders toward her pleased mouth as a silent finish to her sentence. “I, on the other hand, did pick.”

You rose, legs tingling from the sudden change. “Who?”

“Prince Talsa,” she said after cutting open a letter with her claw, “I’ve already decided on a short engagement and a respectable wedding down south. Perhaps closer to his kingdom than ours.”

“Talsa? Not rare one who everyone’s after?”

Adur looked at you as though you should know better before deigning to explain, “Prince Talsa is rather plain looking for a naga, yes, but that’s just the point.”

“Go on,” you said, wanting so much to be distracted.

“Think about it,” Adur scoffed. “Rare, beautiful babies create wonder amongst people, but children who look as though they could be born anywhere....don’t you see the appeal?”

She leaned against the window, long black hair obscuring her pink and yellow face, “They would be royalty that even the most common of folk could feel familiar to--feel endeared to. Even someone as devoid of charm or pretense as Alok could gain some favor. From their birth, I’ll have them attend every little festival and celebration. Their bond with the people will be unshakable.”

“You’ll make the best queen,” you said, unthinking to the implication.

“Has something happened to Alok?”

“No, you ju--”

Adur turned to you, delicate face empty, “It doesn’t matter what we know. He’s the eldest and alive and destroying a book won’t change that.”

Your hands shook as you laced them together, risking at least your life, by asking:

“What if we could change it?”

@

Everything in the little room lacked splendor, save the jewelry that her brother displayed to no one but himself, built only to separate Alok from his mentor. A failed attempt to elevate a man too gargantuan to grow further.

Even the flooring was rough on the tail, not smooth stone but brick for retaining heat. Only care for function within these four walls.

Adur noted her brother’s tail was bare as she swept over the lacking room, only his leather work belt draped over the apex where tail met torso. Every bit of jewelry he wore crowded his wrists and fingers, noisy as he worked on some large bangle unfamiliar to her.

He looked haggard, frown too ugly and deep to be a mere product of concentration. Grey tickled the roots of his bangs, pronounced enough to shine in the lamplight. Alok was getting too old to be a prince with only time for his hobby.

“Sometimes I think it would be kinder to simply put you out of your misery,” Adur said, closing the door behind her.

Alok’s back tensed, but he did not pause his work, “I’m surprised you said it out loud, but don’t say it like a joke.”

“Don’t be so serious,” Adur sighed, “of course it was a joke.”

“Where is--”

“Your human delight? Running errands for me.”

Alok did turn then, face flickering through emotions too fast to name, “They’re just as much your dear friend as mine, you little viper.”

“Forgive my callousness, but I find you respond to little else,” Adur said, picking at the sheer fabric of her top so it draped correctly against her arm again. “And perhaps they are my friend. But they are not just yours.”

“I won’t be king...even if they weren’t here.”

Adur laughed in a sizzling tone, forked tongue dancing with humor, “Oh? And I suppose your little fantasies of running away involve you doing so alone?”

Only the flames licking back and forth in the small forge answered her.

“You’re too old to be deluding yourself like this,” she went on, dropping a bottle and a sheer robe on Alok’s work desk. “It’s time to make choices once and for all, brother.”

“I’m not--”

“I’m not asking you to rule. You’d be pathetic at it, yes, I know. If not for our dear human friend, you’d have flunked every tutor save for your precious jewelry maker.”

Alok curled back over his tail, fingers picking at the fabric of the robe his sister had dropped. “Then what are you asking?”

Hand on the doorknob, Adur smiled, “if you had your way and left to live like a common man with your human, would you really never come back?”

“Never.”

Adur opened the door. “Good.”

@

The drider--Woodnet? Woodne? Wodner?--stayed near the the door as you did, but unlike you his sleek, black legs rested on a few thin lines of webbing where wall met ceiling.

Slowly, Alok raised his face to address the bodyguard, entirely unused to being the short one. Worse still was the struggle to match sights with the correct pair of the drider’s many blinking eyes. If you were here, you’d have nudged him to follow your lead already.

If you were here...this wouldn’t be happening in the first place. Just another wishful thought to swallow down as Alok struggled to stay polite in the face of his father’s prime bodyguard.

“Outside the room is fine,” Alok said in a clipped tone, turning as he did to avoid dealing with anymore niceties.

“Forgive me for questioning, Prince Alok,” the drider said, voice drifting down like floating silk. “But bathing is when you are most vulnerable. I can not help but object to the risk.”

The drider polished each word, in no hurry to finish his sentence and Alok’s eyes rolled once--twice--thrice by the time there was silence. If only this were any guard other than his father’s favorite.

“I understand,” Alok said. “But, the windows are trapped and you will be guarding the only entrance.”

The sound of burdened legs skittering down stone, followed by the opening and closing of the lone, stone door was his answer.

Driders were generally no longer friends of Alok’s kingdom. Wodnel....no, Wodni perhaps, was a relic of a time long gone, when his father was just proving himself a leader of a nation. That Wodnir--that was it, Wodnir--was so protective of Alok, having sparsely been involved with him and having been enslaved through ruthless, warmongering means made Alok’s shoulders bunch, the muscles between protruding over scales.

Is that how it was between you and he? Did you feign fondness and care or was it true? Was it true but maligned of him to hope for it due to how you came to be near him? Because of he was?

Alok disrobed and slunk into the hot water, hoping to drown his pithy doubts that crowded so large in his mind.

Flakes of shed rose to the top the longer he soaked, proof of a difficult shed. There was sure to be more bits to come as he scrubbed himself with the, apparently, ‘to die for’ body scrub his sister had left last week.

You were usually the one to soothe his bubbling stress in a life of constant politics and decorum, but the bits of dead skin were proof enough that Alok truly was getting too old for delusions. You’d only been away for a week and a spare number of days and here he was, so tense that not even a hot bath could unfurl him.

Ugh.

Politics and decorum. How would he survive tonight without you? Adur was announcing her engagement tonight, in tandem with the nobles emerging from their collective sheds at the tail end of the Harvest Festival.

Alok scrubbed himself raw, hoping to emerge a new man who could weather life half as well as everyone around him. But the harder he lathed himself in soap, the clearer the truth rang.

If only he could have you.

@

You had relieved Wodnier of his duties, thanking him with a bow, and standing stiff beside the door for precious minutes, waiting for his delicate range of hearing to wane.

As an apprentice, you had met Wodnier often enough to know he wished you well as much as any spider did a fly.

Hammering against your chest, you feared the vibration of your heart was loud enough for him to hear. And there was always a chance the door shutting at the end of the curved hallway was a trap; that Wodnier still stood in Alok’s quarters and was not making his way back to the King.

But you didn’t have time to be safe, only quick.

Jittered by adrenaline, you sprinted to Alok’s room---toe first, heel last--and back, holding your breath once you made it back to the door of the bath.

Sweat pooled against your forehead, but nothing sprang toward you sans the faint sounds of Alok bathing.

You slipped past the door, the pack in your hands bulky enough that the door opened wider than you’d wanted, the hinge creaking.

“Alok?”

The figure behind the curtain froze before calling back your name.

“We don’t have much time, Alok,” you pressed in a sure voice, but your legs wobbled as you neared the curtain. “I’m....I’m running away and I’m taking you with me.”

“What?”

Coming past the curtain, your chest could barely contain your quick breathing. His hair was devoid of any gray, blacker than pitch as it fell just above his ear holes and forehead. Muddy brown and maroon scales were sleek and wet, droplets rolling down his body, even near his---

You looked back up quickly, away from where his belt always covered. “I mean, I want us to run away and we need to go now.”

Having followed your wandering gaze toward the apex of his stomach and tail, Alok frantically looked toward his arms, the muddy water, “What in the fuck is this?”

“Adur is helping us,” is all you said and it was all Alok seemed to need as he picked up the bottle the dye had been in, nodding. “She said it’ll only last until your next shed but, by then, hopefully....”

“She wants to be queen very much,” he murmured.

You tore open the pack, reminding yourself that time was short, and held them out. “Yes. So, we need to go.”

“You have no idea--,” Alok started, before interrupting himself. “I need something from the workshop.”

“We don’t have time.”

He shook his head as he took what you offered, dressing himself in plain leather and thick, scratchy wool. “It will be quick.”

You opened your mouth--- “Please.” --but couldn’t keep firm in the face of his pleading.

“Okay.”

@

Alok threw a few rings, bangles, and tools into the bag.

“Only enough to sell and get started again,” he assured.

But as you turned to leave the room, his hand was on your arm, pulling you back.

“We--”

“I love you,” he breathed, holding two thick, ornate bangles in his free hand. Both were decorated, from the side you could see, with marigolds, jewels gleaming in the center of their petals. You recognized each one.

One was the size to fit a large tail while the other...

“Alok.”

“I want us to leave belonging to one another.”

Your shaking hands dropped the large bag and his slid to hold both yours in his large one. “If we leave together, we’ll live together too won’t we?”

Even your head shook now, from side to side, hoping to discern the moment as waking or dreaming. “Alok. Of course, because...Of course we will.”

“Oh, please say it,” he said, tugging you nearer still.

He repeated your name and like a spell, you found your words, “We’ll live together because I love you, too.”

His thin mouth, soft and bloodless, fell to yours from his full height, his body curling over you as he pressed against your lips again.

“Let me put it on you,” he whispered, mouth moving against yours as you clung to him.

“Hurry and then we can....Just the bangles and then we must go before it’s too late.”

Careful of his claws, he lifted you to sit on his work table before slipping his own bangle over the small tip of his tail and up further, until it stuck in place under his belt.

There was no time to remove your pants, to mold the bangle against your bare thigh as was intended, but Alok’s thick hands skimming around the metal the entire way up burned as though he were doing just that.

You slid off the table, when the bangle was snug, to melt against him for one brief moment of loving calm, your face rubbing against his neck.

You didn’t have time for more.

After disentangling from his tight hold, you threw the bag at him, near tears as he scrambled to catch it. “I know it’s selfish, but I’m so glad you’re going to be mine instead of a king.”

And then you ran, hand in hand.

@

“Hey! Heeeeey,” one of the children yelled as the whole group of five ran toward you, kicking up dust on the dirt-packed road. “My momma said that snake man eats kids who don’t do chores!”

“My papa said he can’t help with the festival because he’s growing more arms!”

“That’s dumb, Brittany. My papa is smarter and he said the same thing as Corey’s momma. He’s a kid eater!”

The group shrieked in delighted horror as they squabbled on the specifics of what was really, truly going on in their village.

You hiked the basket in your arms higher after several attempts to respond, loudly telling them to pay attention or you’d leave.

As though pulled forward by strings, they straightened as still as a child could, a few even holding their hands over their mouths to keep silent.

“All of your parents are right,” you nodded, “Every two months he must curb his huge appetite and force back his new, child-grabbing arms so he doesn’t hurt the very naughty children of this village.”

They all clamored to stress their innocence in a cacophony of babbling that soon grew into questions.

“Is that why you live with him? ‘Cause you protect the village?”

“And him,” you said.

“At the same time?!”

“Of course, it’s my job. Now go back toward the smithy before you find out just how many arms he has.”

Lunging forward in jest was enough to urge the children away, all of them teasing the other that they would be last to get there and a snake man’s lunch.

@

“You’re horrible,” Alok groaned, scales pale pink and yellow from a successful shed. “Soon, they’ll be grown-ups, running us off.”

Hefting the basket onto the dining table, you laughed, “they adore you in secret.”

The cottages here were baked of mud, hay, and a few supportive beams of wood and yours was no different. There was no splendor in the room-less house, but it was truly yours and his. And that was luxury enough.

“They had enough this time?”

You shook the canteen of dye, moving to stand next to him on the low hammock that served as bed, “And the next shipment of birch will contain enough to last us three months or more.”

Alok smoothed his claw down your face, his own expression wistful, “I feel too content to explain.”

You pressed your nose against the pink of his jaw, letting him raise you to straddle him.

“Then show me.”

#monster x reader #monster x human #monster fucking #monster romance #exophillia #terato #monster boyfriend #naga x reader #naga boyfriend #naga x human #fluffy.foam #new.shork #goblin.writes #conch.answered #alienfromagalaxy #I love adur and it is a shame how much of her had to be cut to make this not a mess #exophilia

[theseerasures]

While you're doing reactions, if you're up for it, how are you feeling about all the finale predictions you made on March 23? By my count, you scored pretty well!

hooooooo boy (the alluded post, for those just catching up)

how i feel about my predictions is that...you’re right and i scored pretty well, but much like the characters doing right in the episode itself, it didn’t matter. part of the reason why the finale made me feel so much--why i loved it, despite still being emotionally hungover from ugly affect--is because i WAS right, but i was so often right but wrong on a smaller scale, or right but wrong because i completely misunderstood the overall thematic stakes, or in one case right but in such a phenomenally cruel and roundabout way that i’m still reeling from it.

more detailed breakdown under the cut (as in “let’s unpack this,” and as in “i have an emotional breakdown”):

WHERE I WAS MOSTLY RIGHT

Team Green, Yang, the non-Robyn Happy Huntresses, Klein and the non-combatant Schnees were gimmes from the beginning, even the ones of whom we didn’t have visual confirmation by the end of Worthy.

Pietro and Maria are still MIA so i’m putting them here, but...Winter’s gonna have to tell Pietro, when he shows up again.

Cinder and the Relics i was correct about, but even though i knew going in that she would win i didn’t imagine the scale of her victory. mostly because i thought she might have learned some self-discipline and just skedaddled with the Relics in an attempt to trap as many people as possible in superhell, but a) she didn’t, and b) she won without needing to.

Salem, Watts, and Ironwood are where i predicted, but i think part of me really bought into the fan theory that maybe Salem would want to keep Atlas around. both Watts and Ironwood lasted much longer through the episode than i expected because i was working from that assumption, but with the direction the episode actually took it makes perfect sense that they exited the stage as Atlas fell--they are, after all, twin architect-destroyers of Atlas. brains and brawn.

Nora ended up in Vacuo, but she’s...uh, not happy about it. not that i expected her to be happy, but this is much much worse. og JNPR is now JUST Renora, and much as i love freewheeling modular megazord JNPR, that’s gonna hit like a truck. last time they lost someone Renora were consciously trying to play supportive teammate to Jaune, who’d just lost his partner, and Nora especially also had to talk Ren off the edge with the Kuroyuri stuff. i expect they’ll swap the dynamic this time, especially since Nora was already planning to go all independent woman before this.

Qrow, Robyn, and the AceOps are stranded, but in transit and not in Mantle, because Mantle the place is no more. and Vine is dead. the reason i posited that the AceOps might be split up was so they could find their team dynamic after it’s been unsettled, and...well. having one of them do a heroic sacrifice should do a similar trick. because i didn’t think Atlas would fall on Mantle i thought Qrow and Robyn (particularly Robyn) would get more to do, but both of them are pretty much exactly in the same place they were in at the beginning of the season: trapped in a cramped environment, cut off from the people they love and uncertain what happened to them, and unable to contribute in a way that they would consider meaningful. i’m guessing we won’t check back in with this crew for a while, but if we do it’ll be interesting to see if the Qrow and Robyn dynamic changes--like, if he has to be the one to talk her down from cabin fever and despair. (before he finds out that he was the one who should have been despairing all along.)

WHERE I WAS MOSTLY WRONG

Neo is in superhell. i had put her in Atlas because i’d overestimated Cinder’s ability to play the long game, but what the show ultimately doubled down on was that Cinder remains at heart a petty and impatient opportunist, and that’s where she’s most effective. which i dig! i dig that she has not so much improved (in means or ends) so much as learned to hold the beneficial and detrimental parts of herself farther and farther apart, because in the end they’re all the same parts, and because presumably she’ll end up starfishing out so much (who knew the way she took care of Winter’s death pigeons was foreshadowing?) that she breaks in two. and i dig Neo in superhell without Cinder, because it’ll be our first chance to see Neo not working for anyone outside of that one time she fought Cinder. if superhell does end up being part afterlife, she might also get some closure with the Torchwick stuff.

Jaune being in superhell points to it being part afterlife, because the chance for HIM to get some closure is also right there. that was always the case, but the reason i made the prediction i did was because i assumed that Jaune would remain the person he has been this whole season--this stolid, clueless but incredibly effective supporting leader. having a Jaune who is at the top of his game meet up with Pyrrha again is obviously appealing, especially to me, a person who scribbles misshapen hearts labeled “Arkos = 5evr” on all my notebooks, but at the time i didn’t think it was necessary to his story...and then the story dramatically shifted his character and threw all my carefully hedged bets off (which is something we’ll also get to with...later).

having a Jaune who has just effectively EUTHANIZED someone meet up with Pyrrha again isn’t just appealing--it’s vital. and it’s vital because the exact parameters of how and why Jaune ended up having to kill Penny is a point-for-point echo and escalation of the way the Amber to Pyrrha transfer was supposed to go. last time Jaune Arc was party to a Maiden transfer process he had no idea what was going on, and he tried to intervene when he worked out that whatever Oz was doing was going to hurt Pyrrha, and that however minute thing contributed to Pyrrha’s death and the Fall of Beacon. this time it��s not just that he knows what’s going on and the stakes of it. it’s not even just that he is the Ozpin operating the Aura Transfer machine. it is that there is no machine--there is just him, holding the knife. he knows the Amber better than the Pyrrha this time, and this time the Amber is his friend, and still whole, and choosing. not just consenting, but asking him. trusting him. so he carries it out. the old Maiden dies, and like Ozpin he dies shortly after, but not before he watches the new Maiden fail.

but he does prevent history from repeating, because a new Maiden is created, and she gets to live. and Cinder Fall has made him a murderer on top of everything else, but she WILL remember him, now.

there are other people i was wrong about, but that’s...for later.

WHERE I WAS RIGHT AND IT DIDN’T MATTER

Ruby, Blake and Weiss are all in superhell, so on paper i was right, but...well. sing it if you know the words. the reason i’m putting them in their own section is because it’s not just that they fell and didn’t jump like i thought; it’s that they would not have jumped, and that changes everything. you know how i realized that we would lose everyone, and not by choice? it was Weiss. it was when Weiss said we have to do this for Yang. Jaune had reminded Nora of what was priority one minutes before, but the implications of that didn’t sink in for me until Weiss confirmed it. they PLANNED for this. not just the eventuality where they would have to die, but the one where they’d have to watch everyone else die and do nothing except keep going.

which...has implications. the best way to read this--and i think we’re all dying for some good news--is that even if it certainly does not feel that way, RWBY was able to snatch a partial victory from Salem’s claws. they lost the Relics, but they got the Maiden powers away, and most importantly: they saved Atlas and Mantle. by the time Jaune intervened Grand Central was empty. there was no one left to evacuate. they didn’t get everyone, but they got a lot. even before Cinder intervened so catastrophically they knew how many things could go wrong, so they made a plan, and largely stuck to it. on a purely material level they only lost one thing vital to the war effort--the Staff. but they got everyone else out, which was priority one. the show in general and this arc in particular has emphasized that our heroes don’t think they should be exceptionalized, that they’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure everyone is given the treatment and respect they deserve, and they’ve made good on that. they’re Huntresses, and Huntresses be thou for the people. they chose, and they won what mattered to THEM.

but on the flip side: they chose, and there’s no way to read this choice as anything but a compromise...and a very Atlesian one at that. when confronted with calculus similar to the one JYR faced after they lost Oscar in War, our heroes chose...the opposite. one, then three, then four, then five, then six for the many. what was that number compared to two entire cities’ worth of people, especially when they’re the ones who signed up for this? i’m not trying to take this down the slippery slope where our heroes are no better than the dictator they just dethroned, because when the time came for sacrifice they chose themselves first. but it remains a sacrifice, which means that when the time came to test the hard moral limit they set for themselves, they...moved. they decided ahead of time that some risks aren’t worth taking. that this is not a situation where everyone wins, so they had to go for the next best thing, then the next best thing after that, and so on. i’m honestly not sure where it points to yet, except my usual refrain that this show is a lot less didactic than it seems, but...yeah. this is going to lead to some invigorating discussions in-universe.

and maybe it’ll start with this: that Jaune and Weiss--the two who had to verbally advocate for leaving the fallen behind--fell last of all, which means they had to watch everyone else go first. and the last person they saw was the same person. Weiss, who executed the plan to brilliant perfection, saw the past--the first family she ever had--streaking after her in an endless void, forsaking the priorities they all agreed upon, for her. Jaune, who followed the plan to execution and broke a part of himself, saw the new Maiden he crowned, backlit and pulled away by the bright future that he ensured was possible, but can no longer access.

QUEENMAKER

i’m starting with Penny, because Penny came first. there has already been a ton of discussion on the ways that she’ll come back, and while i absolutely agree that she will, for now i am not so much interested in that as i am in eulogizing this Penny. the Penny we had just now, not identical but continuous with the Penny we had before that, in the same way that everyone is not identical but continuous with who they were in the past. the Penny who IS dead, her eventual resurrection notwithstanding.

because she DID die, and her death matters. that’s the thing about the deaths in this season, and it furthers my point re: RWBY’s presumed didacticism--the show’s treatment of death has changed as our heroes have changed. it is no longer (and never was) as simple as “death and sacrifice are always senseless waste,” and more something like...”death has to matter, and we will give it meaning.” Hazel and Vine sacrificed themselves, and the fact both resulted in a “positive” outcome (more lives saved) does not make the deaths any less tragic. but neither should the tragedy of it take away from the fact that they saved lives. what separates our heroes from a Salem or a James Ironwood even now is that they recognize the importance of grievable life even as they accept inevitable death, that what is worth it all about preserving life is not to make sure that lives go on forever, but that lives have meaning and are remembered, that when you’re gone the people who are still here respect you enough to carry that meaning with them. it’s a tenuous balance to walk, but all the more important for that reason.

Penny--though her death can and will be reversed--is much the same. in every arc there has been a Game of Three Maidens (which i guess would make shogi the better metaphor and not chess because--what AM i on about), and in every Game there has been sacrifice. and i thought that would encompass Winter, here. we’d get away with it not being literal death, since Fria already took care of that, but she would be trapped on the other side of the gate--in pretty much the exact same position James Ironwood ended up in the episode itself, actually. it just seemed obvious: she’s the decoy, the one who missed the call by inches, the last revealed defector when there still was an Atlas from which to defect. all of it pointed to Winter’s story ending with one last delay barring her from salvation, of her finally being too late...

and well. i WASN’T wrong in the broad strokes, but first there was Penny Polendina. Penny could have let Jaune try to save her and Weiss die for her, but she knew she had to make a different choice to save as many lives as possible. so she offered herself up as the sacrifice instead. last week i waxed prolonged poetic about how Winter defected so recently, how it has been just IronwoodandWinter for so long, how Winter doesn’t have a team and only the healing shreds of a family, how no one would think to look for her...and then Penny did. you were my friend. (given Winter’s rough age and the hazy creation dates for the PENNY Project, it’s possible that Winter is Penny’s OLDEST friend.) Penny thought of Winter as she was dying, thought about the good Winter could do if Winter had her powers, believed in Winter, and in doing so, saved Winter’s life before anyone else’s.

she ceded the spotlight to Winter in this last episode, but this season as a whole belongs to Penny Polendina--the myriad ways she creates herself, the ways she defends her self-creation, ultimately culminating in her new body, created by no one but herself. but for her final act the Maiden of Creation did something different and no less miraculous: i thought of you. a thought was all it took.

she created someone else.

KINGSLAYER | THE MAIDEN THAT WAS PROMISED

the thing about Winter is that she came first.

no, i’m serious. i checked the fairy tale and everything--Winter came first. as the Wizard’s first visitor she encouraged him to reflect and meditate, and when probed about why she was here at all, she answered: i am waiting for my sisters. Spring and Summer have to wait, too, of course, but. Winter was the first.

Jacques and Willow named their firstborn Winter. it is not the way this story begins, but it is certainly is one of them, because the story begins with Winter, and Winter begins the story--a new retelling, a new cycle of heroism. we’ve since been introduced to other characters in that indeterminate age group between RWBY and STRQ, but Winter--by virtue of being Weiss’ older sister--anchors herself to the new generation in a way those others (even Cinder, who comes closest) do not. she started things, in the mythical emblematic way that this show likes to move, and the way she started things--the way she MADE herself start things, thanks to the house she grew up in--was with love, and protection. she took care of Weiss and laid the groundwork for the person Weiss is today, and conversely: she took care of Weiss, and through Weiss, laid the groundwork for herself and how to take care of everyone. so eventually the steel thread she tied to Weiss she also linked to Whitley, to Penny, to Marrow, to all the people they love, and on and on it goes. Winter loved Weiss, so she made herself learn how to love Weiss, and so when i say she started things what i mean is she started family. a new home, for a new generation of the orphaned.

Winter came first. but as the show demonstrates time and again, especially with Winter: first does not mean best. because being first also means you’re the prototype, a volatile thing that must be tested and tempered and then discarded to make way for what comes after, what gets improved. and it is THIS part of being first that Winter has internalized most of all. Winter, the first Maiden, taught the Wizard peace and prepared the earth so that her sisters could grow and foster and harvest the life within it; Winter, the first Schnee, laid the groundwork in her siblings, but did not wait for them. and let herself fallow in the process. she left, and every time they tried to follow or stay with her she sent them away. (she keeps sending them away; even after defecting and taking down Ironwood, the first thing she says to JNPER is go.) Winter laid the first stone in the foundation, but she cannot take credit for the home her family turned it into, for all the ways it has flourished, because she willfully absented herself of that (birth)right.

and the reason she did this was very simple: she was afraid. she could not bear the thought that while she had to learn how to love she made mistakes, the idea that instead of preparing the earth she might have poisoned the well. so she ran. she turned her face away so she would not have to look, so they would not look to her. she left, and every time one of her siblings superseded her after that, every time she was made to be their Esau--passed over--it just seemed to confirm that she was right to leave. look how well they’ve all done without her.

in the stories, eldest siblings aren’t here to win. they’re here to be made an example of, and Winter...had resigned herself to that. she was prepared to be left behind for good by all the people who have outpaced her.

but then there was Penny Polendina. Penny didn’t follow her, or try to stay; Penny came back for her. Penny remembered Winter when all Winter wanted was to be forgotten, because she’d gotten it in her head that it was what she deserved for all the things she’d done or enabled or failed to do. why did Penny remember Winter? because you were my friend. there is no divine complexity to it, nothing for Winter to fall hopeless short of. there is only the fact that Winter gave Penny something, made something together with Penny, even as she was trying her hardest not to, for fear that she would create something terrible. and this does not take away from all the ways Winter did fall short, but it is still SOMETHING. and it is enough.

it was your power, after all. Penny means the Maiden powers, but she also means THIS Maiden’s power: the power to create. you made this home, Penny is saying to Winter, you should get to reap its fruit, even if you weren’t around for the labor. all you have to do is say yes.

this was a gift. she says yes. she accepts, because in the end Winter Schnee loves her family more than she hates herself.

but then--

(a gift for what? Winter will ask herself wretchedly later, after she has failed in the two tasks she thinks Penny set for her.)

the thing about Winter is that she came first. she taught Weiss everything she knows, and she was so busy doing that she never had the time to show Weiss everything she feels. so in the end what Weiss never predicted was that for all of her team’s painful planning, for all of her own pained enforcement of that plan...none of it was a match for her sister. that when the time came it was would be WINTER who defaults to the absolute ideal of “no one gets left behind,” of “every life” meaning every life, priority one be damned.

or that Winter, in trying to choose both, in finally and fiercely trying, with surely enough power to make a difference, would fail.

what are you doing? Winter heard as she watched Weiss fall into nothingness. my life doesn’t matter.

so here, then, is the story of Winter in The Final Word: a girl returns home after having left it, but in this version it is the home who has changed and the girl who has not. and from this both are unmade. but she gets to live, because she was invited back home. and she gets to go through the portal as its last passenger, into the Promised Land.

and she is still the Maiden of Creation. even after all this, THAT is still her task. to build a refuge for her people, to collect the broken strands of the family she began and her siblings continued and expanded and reinforced, and gather them up again into a new home. it will be impossible, but at the same time: she has done this before.

and this time, she will wait for her sisters.

(a gift for what? for nothing, would be the answer. gifts aren’t FOR anything. they’re gifts.)

#typeoneninja #rwby #helen writes meta #VERY LONG OBSCENELY LONG META CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW LONG #at least it didn't take me a whole month this time

[arcadejohn127-9]

Can you do a headcannon with the undateables now dateables please?? 😁 with an mc that wears a ton of make up and one day she doesn't cuz she forgot and they are like astounded by mcs looks and compliment them and tell them they don't need to wear so much cuz they are beautiful! Thank you!!!

I'm sure you didn't mean it for it to be like this, but this ask has a "I got stuff that's internalised" vibes and so I'm going to make this a teaching moment.

To Everyone who follows, wearing makeup or not is up to you - how much you wear is your bussiness. Besides, what is considered 'alot' could be a natural look depending on how many products you use.

I personally don't use foundation or concealer, my face is spotless and smooth and I incorporate my eyebags into my eye looks. But there's still the amount of eyeshadow I use as contour, actual eyeshadow, eyeliner guide and even to add more vibrance or odd colours to my lips. I also use eyeliner. Which doesn't seem like alot but its full face look.

Your makeup is your business and you shouldn't shame those who do wear it or those who don't nor should you rely on a man or woman to tell you when you look good. Your always look good, period. The trope of girls who stops wearing loads of makeup turns out to be naturally pretty just links to a mindset that people who do wear makeup only wear it because their ugly or trying to hide their true appearance.

Which is stupid because unless you're going out your way to do face morph looks, makeup is used to enhance features you already have. It just helps to bring attention to how pretty your features are.

"they don't need to wear so much because they're beautiful!" You don't stop being beautiful when you put makeup on. Again how much you wear and what you do with your appearance is your bussiness.

But I think that's enough of me going on, let's actually get into this.

Diavolo:

"ah, what a surprise, you're not wearing your makeup today, did something happen?"

He looked at your curiously

You dissmivley waved your hand, smiling

"Oh-! Yeah- I forgot to do it this morning and didn't want to run late for class, that's all."

"you look stunning might I add without it, it's a refreshing change - that sounded rude...I didn't mean for it come out like that."

He immediately looked guilty

Hand over his mouth realizing his words, he his lips pursed

It looked like he was internally beating himself up about it

You decided to be nice, patting his shoulder, seeing he didn't mean for it come out like that

"You're right, I am stunning but yeah, I get what you mean, it's new and I look good without it but I also good in it! It makes me feel good and lets me show off my favourite features."

You used your hands to shape and point out said features

Diavolo intently watched your hands but still had a guilty and apologetic expression

"I see, forgive my rudeness I never intended to imply anything, I'm glad you have something that makes you feel confident and happy."

"it's okay, Dia, perhaps I can do a look on you aswell? Show you the appeal."

Diavolo could be a child at heart and he almost squealed

He has been interested by your makeup ever since you've arrived

But instead of letting himself show his full excitement he nodded, grinning

He was aware of his butler's eyes on him aswell as Lucifer's

"I'd be delighted to."

Barbatos:

"I had a feeling I'd see a surprise today, it appears it was you, is there a reason you've decided to not do your usual look?"

"it sounds silly but just forgot, I was so tired this morning I'm pretty sure I dreamed doing my routine and couldn't tell the difference."

You laughed at yourself, gently scratching your cheek

You were embarassed by how easily tricked you were by your tired mind but you couldn't really blame yourself

You haven't been sleeping much so after finally getting the best sleep in your life you were bound to get groggy

He smiled, tilting his head to the side

His eyes looked as if he was scolding you

"thats abit alarming, get your needed sleep though the change isn't uninvited, you're very pretty."

You could tell he meant no harm by his words

But you've dealt with situations similar to this where the person was being very passive aggressive

It made you feel bitter and have a need to explain yourself

"I'll be sure to sleep, thanks but this isn't going to be a permanent thing, I'm very much happy with my usual look! Makes me feel more pretty~ I don't think there's such a thing as being too pretty."

You both chuckled at your end statement

"Fair, I do not control what you do but I advise you stop spending so much with asmodeus, you're starting to sound like him - I have actually done makeup myself, perhaps you'd like to see some examples? I'm intrigued if you have any feedback or tips I could use."

"asmo is just truthful! But on a serious note, I'd actually love to see that and feel honoured you'd want my feedback! You better not back out on this."

Solomon:

"I almost didn't recognize you, what a stray from your usual look, it's very off brand - I'm afraid viewers might be displeased."

You couldn't help but smile

He was using an inside joke you two made

After refering to one of the years as a season you two started making a few jokes about it

But it became a habit and now you two just had a thing were you pretended you were self aware TV characters

"Oh no! We can't have the ratings go down! Haha- I don't look that different, don't be ridiculous, I think it's just your eyes old man."

You poked the side of his face, near his eye

He frowned, he let you have passes on calling him old due to favouritism

But still got grumpy when you joked and brought him his age

You did only say it to tease and if he got genuinely upset or mad about it you'd immediately stop

"I'm not old, just wise - just for that your fanbase has shrunk but sadly, your good looks will bring them back."

You had a light blush on your cheeks, waving your hand

Acting as if you've swooned for him you leaned against his shoulder

"you're so kind yet so mean~ but I'm sure they'll prefer my normal form than this one, I kinda feel naked without my makeup - it's almost shameful."

"don't say that so loud, who knows who'll turn up naked, I'd rather not experience that today."

You bursted out laughing

Meanwhile he looked like he was experiencing Flashback'

Simeon:

"I like the new look, it's very natural! but is that makeup or your actual-"

"My face is bare, I forgot to put it on, not really bothered today."

His slender finger was pointed to your face, squinting to see if he could see

You almost wanted to laugh but you just lazily shrugged your shoulders

"oh! You're still look just as beautiful, I can't believe I couldn't tell, ever since I saw your more extra looks I've been looking into makeup and I saw people could make it look like they weren't wearing any."

"Thanks but don't worry, I'm not Insecure without it or anything, just really enjoy it! - oh? You're looking into it? Is there any looks you like specially, some people are really amazing at looking extremely natural or being really artistic - it's amazing."

He nodded

"pardon me then, I didn't mean to imply anything I just saw how much bad press was around it all and wanted to say incase but yes, I'm extremely intrigued by high light! It's so sparkly!"

He looked apologetic before his expression turned into one of awe and inspiration

You smiled, happy to see he was interested in something you were already passionate about

It was good to see him wanting to learn and gain interest

"You're sweet Simeon but this human is very happy! I see~ let me do your makeup later or a day you're free, I can give you my extra shimmery high light to really make those cheekbones of yours pop!"

His eyes were sparkling so brightly

Grinning from ear to ear with excitement

"I'd love to! Please, I want you to show me all your amazing ideas."

Luke:

"Your face is different, you're not wearing makeup!"

"And your face is still childlike, you're correct though, I forgot to do it."

You both pouted at each other, glaring

The moment quickly ended as soon as he started to speak

"oh, I thought this was going to be a thing now....you're pretty, why do you wear it? You don't need to especially the amount you normally wear."

You frowned

Annoyed no one has taught him about this kind of thing and how what he was saying was rude

Mentally noting to speak to Solomon and Simeon about this

But you couldn't be too mad, he was a child

You decided to make this a reaching moment for the young angel

"Well you see Luke, anyone can wear makeup even if they're super confident with their features or super Insecure, it makes people feel good and extra attractive or it can make you look dead and gross - really up to the person - and I'm just someone who really likes wearing makeup and alot of it, what may seem like alot to others could be basic to others, it's all about your personal touch and wants."

"I see....I'm sorry I didn't really understand-"

He looked absolutely devastated

Ashamed and guilty and extremely apologetic

"It's okay, I know you're still learning about these things - hey, how about I do your makeup and we can see what you like?"

You lifted his puffy hat, ruffling the messy hair beneath it

He didn't even swat your hand away

He was too excited and relieved by what you were saying, he jumped up and down as his hands turned into fists

"Really?! I'd- I'd like that, I'll go ask Simeon if you can come over and do it for me! Maybe we can try out your kind of style?"

"Sounds perfect, now go ask~"

He hastily rushed off to find the older demon

You watched from slight afar him asking permission but gave simeon a 'we need to talk' look

#obey me #obey me shall we date #gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mc #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me imagine #obey me headcanon #i do what you ask but also not

[redevenir]

rigil kentaurus (pt. i)

The brightest star of the Alpha Centauri solar system – our closest neighour. Its name is the latinisation of the arabic رِجْل القِنْطورُس‎ Rijl al-Qinṭūrus, meaning the Foot of the Centaur. It is slightly larger and more luminous than the Sun. W

seungkwan x reader

wc : ~ 4000

summary : you are only a spectator of your life until they take your hand and let you live it.

a/n : started it as a seungkwan piece, then turned it into a johnny one then coming back to seungkwan bc this is how i wan to keep writing it. it's like i can't keep writing it if it's not seungkwan i don't know.

« It’s the fourth one. » Chan’s voice is only a hushed whisper but you hear how bothered he is. You don’t answer.

I know…

No, It’s already the fourth one tonight, and it’s only eleven!

I know…

It’s like they’re not even trying! Seungkwan barely avoids the tea towel as Chan raises his arms out of exasperation. If they don’t what a cappuccino is, why do they order it anyway? It’s a coffee shop, just buy a coffee! You know you don’t need to answer that. You’ve been working here for months and complaining about customers seems to be a universal way of breaking the ice. You’ve heard this speech from your first week at the counter, and with time you’ve come to agree with whatever colleague you were with, on every single point. Not once have you considered quitting to find something else instead. It is, indeed, not the best place. At the entrance of the city, the beginning of the highway. It is neither cozy nor warm. The air conditioning is too strong half of the year, the radiator too hot during the six months of winter. You are either sweating or shivering. The playlist is sickening, and never in tune with the season. You ignore Maria Carey’s christmas’s vocals as you give a customer a refill. Night workers and truck drivers are your only customers during the night shifts. You have stopped judging them long ago.

For months on end, the only thing Chan could tell about his coworker was that you were not a model employee. It was hard to blame you for anything specific. But you felt off. You felt nothing. When Seungkwan asked him how his shifts went, he would just shrug. It felt like he spent many of his nights on his own rather than with you. Like you were not there with him. Every evening he would arrive, greet you and feel like it was the first time ever. And he would grumble about it.

Can you believe I know nothing about her ?

Well, she’s surely a very private person.

Yes, and that’s rude.

You make little to no effort to appeal to the customers. In fact, you barely engage at all with them. Although, and this is your secret, you do have your favorites. From the three maintenance workers of the power plant to the security guard who comes four times a week, before the end of your shift, after the end of his own, Chan has found out that, if he listens to you close enough he’ll learn their names. Because you know them. You often seem to be elsewhere, but when you wish them a nice evening, or good luck, you do say their name, quietly, without any fuss. A sign to him you weren’t completely indifferent but thoughtful in a different way from his. There is nothing likeable to the Dreamy Drivin Chan works at. First of all, it is not a drive-in, nor a drive-through, it is a mere coffee shop. Not a fancy one, not a chain one. The counter’s light green is ugly, the temperature’s always off, and the pay is honestly not much. This is how life is at the border of the city. You catch what you can get and you try to make it work. He assumes the reason you’ve landed there is the same as his and Seungkwan’s : dropped from school, without any proper qualification for a living. He assumes you are his age, that your face must look younger when you are not tired. Chan is nice. Well, Chan likes to tease his friends, but Chan is nice. He tries to reach you, one sentence at a time.

White noises. The purring of the coffee machine you’ve never seen off. They come in, white shirt, stained jeans, black coats. They order the same thing, the largest, darkest coffee you got. You serve them with a « good night », « good luck » if you feel in a kinder mood. Since Seungkwan’s smile is bright and big and loud, you’ve decided you didn’t need to fake one of your own. They pay for their order and leave for never ending roads you cannot quite picture in your mind. When you work long shifts, it seems to you the world is shrinking, that if you open the front door you will fall into a bottomless pit. That the joke of a coffee shop you work at is some sort of asteroid gas station where rocket drivers stop by on their way to the Andromeda galaxy. You tell yourself Earth is also a little rocking drifting among the stars. You welcome a new customer. You dream of outer space. It is known people turn to alcohol and other substances to forget their troubles, but you don’t need that. Numbness greets you every time the pointing machine does its trick, and you even lose sight of your daily life. Surely you have one, plants to grow, books to read, hiking to walk and messes to clean. People to see and a sun to meet. But here, behind your pale green counter, you consign it all to oblivion. Here, there is only the world in your head and the star who takes orders by your side that exist. Your hear Chan’s annoyed sigh. You serve another coffee. It feels like taming the crow that lives in the tree in front of his building. Like he could give you bread and even croissant crumbs every single night and you would still be distant. And one day, you initiate the conversation, and he knows he’s done well. He remembers it just fine now. It was probably a boring wednesday, late in the afternoon. It had been a cloud few hours since he had woken up. A dim midday sun dissolving into the thick gray air. He was already behind the counter, checking the clock, when you had busted in the room, panting. There was some pathetic charm about the whole scene. You don’t hide your surprise when you see Chan already there, and a smile had made its way – oh so joyful and unsettled. The smile on your face had remained unchanged when he had asked you. And why are you late ?

I am not ? You had answered. What the manager doesn’t know can’t hurt him.

Ooh, so that’s how it is. Chan relates to that. He never complains about you again. Next time he talks about you, he tells Seungkwan you are his friend now. His quiet, merry friend who never works day shifts. Chan does. As it happens, Chan hates working the night shifts and only does it when Seungkwan can’t. Seungkwan is kind. Seungkwan is the most loveable being Chan has known in years. Seungkwan is grounded and warm, and steady. Moving in with him was like having finally his roots planted into rich, reliable earth, instead of the slippery mud he had been walking on for most of his life. Chan is heard, is seen. Chan sleeps well, and goes out of his way whenever Seungkwan asks him a favor, because it is easy to satisfy him. Easy, and right. He tells Seungkwan you’ve asked after him, and watches as the other chokes on his coffee.

Can’t believe you’d think I wouldn’t notice.

When Seungkwan comes back to the night shifts, you don’t mention him ever leaving, but he notices the change in you immediately. When you greet him, he looks at your face and wonders what was so bad that your better rested face still looks worn out. You’re not as lively as he is, you’re not as lively as Chan is, hell, you’re not even as lively as Chan said you were with him – which wasn’t that much to begin with. But you are here. There is a relief in your presence. Seungkwan said nothing about his absence, and diligently drinks the cup of coffee you offer him around three. Seungkwan regrets the day shift but still. It could be worse. As he tries his best to maintain his customer service to its level – it is hard and how, how did he manage to do it before ? Is this the reason why you don’t ? Don’t set any standard, at all, so no one can be disappointed – and especially not you – when you don’t live up to them. Seungkwan wonders how hard you really are on yourself, and if he isn’t being dramatic. Maybe you’re all right. Maybe you look terrible because that’s how you look. Maybe you were born tired and he has no need to worry about you. Maybe you don’t need him to meddle in your privacy. Surely, if you wanted him to know about your life you’d tell him yourself.

The softest clunk ever heard by a human ear snaps him out of his thoughts. He meets your concerned look and the large cup of latte you’re handing to him.

Seungkwan, you should go home. Take it easy. Night shifts are hard.

He looks at you with wide eyes, opens his mouth, close it, opens it again and stutters.

But- no ! I mean- I can’t- I- I- you- I can’t let you do this alone- It- It- no, it’s not right! You shrug and gesture vaguely toward the empty diner hall.

It’s whatever, really. You try to elaborate as he doesn’t answer. No one’s here, you’re clearly not here, there’s only two hours left, just, you know. Go to sleep. I really don’t mind. You don’t have to fight me on this, by the way, it’s not like I’d tell anyone.

Seungkwan does as you say, doesn’t fight you on this. He can’t manage a proper thought, a proper thank you. He goes in the locker room, picks up his stuff, only to hesitate before the front door, until you repeat yourself, a sweet promise of rest. He spends the journey back home away from his body, replaying the scene over and over. He knows he’s screwed when he opens the door to his and Chan’s apartment. It’s ridiculous, and he would feel ashamed if he wasn’t so tired. How easy it is to let you take care of him. He crashes on his bed still in his work clothes and forgets his last thoughts.

Your shift passes without a fuss. It doesn’t feel like you’re there either.

You close your book when you realize you’re not reading anything. There is a light buzz in your brain, but it is quiet. Unthreatening. You close your eyes and your reaches for the cup of hot cocoa on your desk. It’s all nice and quiet here, and you wonder how you’ve managed to make your apartment such a peaceful nest when your mind is so often washed out by fierce tempests. You let your mind drift away, floating on a safe shore. Breaks from work are nice. Your sleep schedule is well set by now, and you can properly enjoy those forty-eight hours for yourself. You don’t spend every week night longing for them, because you never project yourself into the future, but you would if you did. Dawns are definitely your favorite moment of the day. Either they mean you can go home, or that you have an entire day to relish in the warmth of your place. It is a nest indeed. A kitchen and a bedroom, all stuffed into the maze of a much bigger building. The wooden floor is quite creaky and you do hear when the neighbor upstairs wears their heels. The walls are a very faded shade of orange, which you love – sun-like colors are for good luck. The furniture is definitely older than you are – older than your parents, probably – but it is nice. And the day you’ll leave it will remain exactly the same. More used but untouched. In a way, the atmosphere is not unlike the Dreamy. Homey and decay. Anonymous, but in a belonging way. Chan would hate it. His apartment – well, their apartment – is probably… You can’t picture it. You don’t know enough about home interiors to picture someone else’s home. Comfortable. Maybe furs as bed-covers? You have never touched one before, but sometimes you catch a glimpse of them on the passenger seat of a car. Your gaze never lingers though : you are not to look at a car owner in the eyes.

Seungkwan feels like he’d sleep nested in a bed of wool and furs. He’d probably like the soft but rough feeling of it against his skin. There’s something comforting about raw fabrics, isn’t there? A bubble of heat slowly builds in your chest and you close your eyes shut to chase the thoughts of Seungkwan’s bare skin in his bed.

Seungkwan is quiet, but not discreet. He is clumsy and always in his own world, parallel to yours, but you wonder how many light years are between you, and it is all to his credit. There is something you find commendable to his behavior. A reliable honesty. Not unlike a dog, you can tell from the look on his face whether he is content or anxious or annoyed. You do not have to imagine his hidden agenda – you are positive he has none. The easiness with which Seungkwan expresses himself still amazes you, even after a year or so of observing him a few nights a week. It seems to you his feelings have no hindrance to them : pure joy, pure irritation, pure panic whenever one of you breaks a cup – it happens more than you like to admit. When his voice rushes to tell you a quick joke between two customers, the joyful spontaneity of his tone carries you miles away from the counter, to bright afternoons on windy shores. He is quick-witted and never misses a chance to tell you whenever he notices something amusing. Simplicity is Seungkwan’s most beautiful quality, you have decided. When you are not drifting around other solar systems, when you come back home to your place, when you are lying in bed a few minutes more before getting dressed up, you try to imagine what he is doing at the same time. What does his apartment look like, what does he like to cook, does he have a dog and why is his smile so charming. Sometimes under the shower you wonder what he would think about you if he were to see you naked. You try to leave these thoughts in the shower where they belong but you cannot always control your mind and you find yourself embarrassed in front of him more often than you care to admit.

You collect information about him like a gold digger their gold nuggets. Every word he addresses you, you replay in your head again and again until you can hear him breathe them against your ear in the darkness of your bedroom. So when Seungkwan comes back, all quiet and cautious, pondering on his words and his welcoming attitude almost erased, you act on it as best as you can. You are not brave enough to properly ask him about it, so you do what you do best. You observe. How quieter he has become, and the slow but unstoppable growth of the bags under his eyes. Not that he seemed well-rested at all, which is also worrying. What did he go through that was even more tiring than working night shifts? Of course, it is none of your business. If Chan were there, maybe he’d spill the tea, but Chan made it very clear he didn’t want to work a night shift ever again. Will you ever talk to him again? The little one you’re so found of. Chan said Seungkwan was a neat roommate to have, and for him to give up the sunlight for months, you assumes he means it. The understatement is lovely. Chan would never spill Seungkwan’s secrets.

You light up the gas, put the little orange pan on it, pour the milk in it. With that you empty the milk carton, and throw it in the trash. Who knows when you’ll be able to afford milk again? You haven’t seen any in the store for weeks – and you restrain yourself from stealing the Drivin. It isn’t worth it. As you wait for the milk to heat up, you hear a gentle knock on your door. You lower the fire, apprehension growing in your chest. You’re not expecting anybody, so this can’t be good. On your tiptoes, breathing deep, you reach the front door and slowly open it. Wary, you let yourself look at whoever is standing outside.

Oh, miss, hello! Sorry to bother you! Someone just called after you, so I thought I’d let you know ! She lived here too. You don’t know her name, but she’s definitely older than you are. She lives upstairs, you’re not sure of the floor. She looks like a teacher, and her enunciation sounds like that too. She has a little polite smile on, aware of your discomfort, the stiffness of your body being obvious. As she sees your absence of reaction, she hands you a piece of paper, covered in smooth carbon writing. Definitely a teacher. One of your coworker, he said he was. I forgot yo ask for his number, but if he calls back, do you want me to tell him something specific ?

Huh, no! I mean- No, no, no, you don’t need- you don’t- you don’t need to do anything, miss. I’m- I’m sorry he took the liberty to call you, I don’t wish to bother you ! You mouth is so dry. Thank you! Thank you! Sorry again! I’ll leave you be then! Have a nice day! You shut the door without noticing the smile she has on again.

The ringing in your head takes over everything else. You try to reach for something to keep your balance and crumble against the wall, choking for air. You crumple the piece of paper in your fist, nails digging in the soft flesh of your palms, tearing little moon crescent that taint the words you haven’t even read. She knows now. What kind of person doesn’t have a telephone at home? Who, if not someone who is trying to remain unreachable? Untraceable. Your head is about to implode from the pain. Now she’ll know. Now, she knows you have something to hide. You lie on the floor, chasing after your breathe. Who will she tell? Does she live alone ? Is she a public teacher ? How long do you have until she tells on you? You cannot dare to think you might have to go now, tears burning your eyes as you hiccup desperately. The hawk claws on your chest only dig deeper and deeper until your forehead is against the floor, searching for cold, for a relief from the blades in your brain.

The crisis lasts for hours.

The room is dark when you emerge, and a faint, panicked thought about being late comes to you but you’re quick to remember you don’t have to work tonight. Smoke and the smell of burnt is all around you. Shit, the milk. Mouth dry, head numb, you slowly sit up, body hoarse. Feeling a light pain in your hands, you let your fingertips brush over the scab already formed. The piece of paper is still in your left hand, torn and bloody. Finally, you smooth it and read the few words on it. Coworker wants to know when next free day is. also have a good day. You stare at it without making any sense out of it. What coworker? Which one? Your planning is with everyone else’s at work. You feel nauseous. Muscles sore, you stand up and go to the kitchenette to turn the fire down. Without second thought you throw the now empty pan in the trash. Fuck all of this. Mindlessly, you reach the bathroom, undressing yourself as in a dream. After you’re done you let yourself fall on the bed. Quiet, in the back of your head, you start to make a list. Tomorrow, tomorrow you will pack. Just in case.

When you arrive at work the next night, you put an obviously packed bag under the counter. You don’t greet Seungkwan. You don’t look at him. The shift goes by without a word addressed to him. At dawn, a few minutes before you’re both free to go, Seungkwan clears his throat next to you.

I-… Hum. I, well, it’s obvious you don’t want to talk about it, but- Well, just- Just so you know. Chan says he’s sorry. He would never hav- You cut him off, stern, as you wipe the cloth over the counter to make it shine. So it was Chan.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. You hear him open and close his mouth. He seems to understand his place.

O- Ok. Have a good day rest then.You don’t bother to answer him before leaving, bag on your shoulder.

Time passes slowly.

You haven’t looked at Seungkwan in the eyes for so long now, Chan wonders if you still know what he looks like. Every afternoon when Seungkwan eats his breakfast and Chan comes back home to a most welcome snack, the night worker sighs heavy, burdened by your silence. It’s unbearable.  It’s unbearable for him to go to work every night with someone who was once friendly and has turned into a wall, a wall for which he longs to love. It’s unbearable for Chan to see his roommate on the verge of tears because of the guilt. It’s unbearable to know their action has you ready to run away every minute of every day.

The thing with Seungkwan is that he is quite good at reading people. Even though he does enjoy some unnecessary drama as much - and maybe more - as others - he usually manages to get through his life without ruffling any feather. It makes it a lot harder to comfort him with empty words when he knows you’re avoiding him, because he has been looking at you. This is how one should talk to people, he has learned. Not everyone is comfortable doing so, he also learned. Sometimes, Seungkwan says nothing, for he is afraid to annoy you away. There is no pleasure whatsoever in taking the night shift. The place is already dull by day, but by night it reaches a new dimension of boredom. Sure, it pays a bit better, but it is not worth it. Since he is not asked anyway, and he does not get to choose his shifts, Seungkwan tries to prize the strays of light in this fog of ennui. First, the night regulars seem to like him better than the day ones. He likes to think they enjoy his enthusiasm and maybe it is one of the reasons they keep coming and ordering there. The other one is you. Although now you are not at all like a light ray and more of a far away storm, high at sea.

Seungkwan would’ve liked it better if had you unleashed hell upon him. Before you used to not talk to him, but it felt more like you were shy, or reserved. Or merely didn’t know what to say, which is a very understandable feeling when you’re still at work at two in the morning five days a week. It didn’t feel awkward. Well, it sometimes felt a bit awkward, but not in the bad way. Now… Now you’re very obviously pretending he is not there, and Seungkwan wants to cry. All of it is his fault. Chan only called to you because of his rambling. I would have called her anyway. I like her. She’s my weird work friend. It’s unbearable. He jumps when Chan drops his fork on his plate with a loud clunk.

I’ll make it up. I can fix this. The eldest doesn’t look up from his meal. Chan wants to rip his own eyes and scream. With her. Inquisitive and tired eyes shoot up. I’m gonna do something about it.

Wha- Wha- Chan, there’s no fixing it, what are you talking about ? She comes to work every day with a bag which I’m sure is full of necessary stuff. You know what that means. I know what that means. She obviously know what that means. There is no fiwing this.

I know, I know. I don’t mean- Deep breathe. I know I can’t fix everything, obviously. But I’m going to apologize to her, and she’ll talk to you. And, well. It’s going to work. Seungkwan shrugs. He says nothing more until he leaves for work.

Chan slumps into the sofa. He’s fucked up big this time. It sucks. He really is a fool. Living one day at a time, he’s lost perspective. He has even forgotten why his life is like that in the first place. How could he be so careless? He’s a fly. Well, all of you are flies. Clearly, you’ve managed to get out the web and he has brought you back into it. Chan’s a fool. He stands up in a sigh, put on his shoes and goes back to the Dreamy Drivin’.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt imagine #seungkwan #seungkwan imagine #bsk #my writings

[neurodiversitysci]

Where “spoonie” culture fails me

As some of you probably know, I often experience brain fog.

When in a brain fogged state, I have difficulty thinking, I move slowly, and I have difficulty doing anything. I feel tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. 

I need stimulants and caffeine to ward off this brain fog so I can function.

Thus, the concept of “low spoons” instantly appealed to me. It described how I felt, and why it felt impossible to do things when brain fog hit. Of course everything was exhausting; I ran out of spoons before I ran out of tasks that needed brain power. (My decision making and other executive functioning spoons ran out the fastest). 

However, I do not have a physical illness like lupus, Lyme disease, fibromyalgia, POTS, etc. I can recover spoons, albeit too slowly.  “Fork theory,” developed by a writer with depression, actually better fits my experience.

Starting when I was in college, because everything felt like too much, I started cutting out everything possible so I could focus on my schoolwork. I stopped playing violin, drawing, fiction writing/worldbuilding, reading for fun, and all but the most minimal self care (e.g., showering and getting dressed). 

The same pattern has persisted to this day. Self care, activities of daily living, seeing friends, and engaging in soul-nourishing activities I mercilessly cut from my day. Of course, I’m suffering the consequences.

My life strategy has been: follow my strengths, which are in school and work areas of life, ignore my weaknesses as much as possible, and spend my energy on only the most important school and work related things, cutting as much as possible out of my life to do so, whatever the costs. This spoonie mentality made sense--I did have more energy-consuming things than energy a lot of the time

Right now, I’m on leave from graduate school, with no classes, no work, nothing to do but work on learning all those executive functioning and other skills I missed out on and fell so far behind in. I always wanted to stop time so I could catch up, and here I am, as close to that as I’ll ever get.

Yet still I struggle to do the most basic things like get dressed and out of the house on time. Because, unfortunately, there’s no structure telling me where I should be and what I should be doing when. I have the exhausting task of deciding that for myself.

Let me explain one crucial reason why I struggle, even with plenty of time. I developed the habit of ignoring messes as they built up around me, because I didn’t have time to clean up. Dishes in the sink? I’ll come back to them later. Wipe down the table? Sweep the floor? Later. Put away that clutter on my desk or surrounding the computer? Later. Take a shower? Later. Take a walk? Later. 

However, when surrounded by visual clutter, I’m overwhelmed and can’t think. Just being at home drains my spoons. It’s exhausting to cook because I have to find or wash dishes first. I feel depressed by being in such ugly surroundings. My mind feels sluggish because I’ve sat in a computer chair all day, haven’t walked or felt sunshine on my skin.

Right now, I do have the time. As soon as I notice a piece of clutter or a sinkful of dishes, I can literally clean up immediately, with no bad consequences. Yet my brain still tells me “you don’t have time right now, you should be doing more important work, come back to this later.” I still have the habit of looking, feeling discouraged, and walking away. The habit no longer serves me. It may even have hurt me as well as helped me before.

As a result, I never learned to self care. I never learned to do things that would get back energy, like moving around, listening to music, talking to friends and family, or creating something. I’m still figuring out what activities even restore my spoons. And often, as with leaving my home and walking, these are the last things I want to do. They are true fork activities.

TL;DR: trying to conserve my spoons has actually reduced my spoons.

I expand my supply of spoons only by using them all up, without going over budget. My brain builds up cognitive spoons like an athlete builds muscle (only, much more slowly). 

That “sweet spot” of spoon use is ridiculously hard to find, and I think I’ve erred on the side of too little.

So when I read this passage from Ned Hallowell’s website, it hit me like a lightning bolt:

People who are struggling sometimes assume they need to cut down the challenge in their life. What we have learned is that people with ADHD and associated issues need challenge to thrive in their life, perhaps even more than other people. The trick is helping our clients find the right challenge or as Dr. Hallowell says, the right difficult. Not enough challenge and people with ADHD become bored, the wrong type of challenge and they become overwhelmed.

This is my problem. I’ve been trying to cut down the level of challenge when I need to consider both the amount and the type of challenge. My strategy was “spend as few spoons as possible” rather than “spend your spoons as much on your life priorities as possible.”   

With all the emphasis on self-care and conserving spoons on Tumblr, I bet I’m not the only person with ADHD to make this mistake.

From this new perspective, saying no is still just as important. People are still always trying to waste your spoons. 

(Caveat/YMMV disclaimer: That said, I understand many of us may not have enough control over our lives and especially workplaces to prevent this, which will affect where you put your spoons. It will be even harder to find that “sweet spot” and you may have to rely on “conserving spoons,” at least sometimes).

TL;DR: be careful with “spoon theory” and make sure you build on your supply of spoons, not shrink it.

Disclaimer: None of this applies to people with physical illnesses who really can’t regenerate spoons no matter how much they move, how much sunlight they get, how comfortable they are in their living space, how little visual clutter surrounds them, and so on. 

8/13/19

#original post #my life #actually adhd #adhd adult #brain fog #spoon theory #spoons #spoonie #fork theory #depression #Visual Clutter #clutter #self care #adls #executive function #executive functioning #executive dysfunction #brain training #coping #coping strategies #coping mechanisms #bad coping mechanisms #adhd problems

[linkspooky]

Shigaraki + Eri: Born to Destroy

Shigaraki and Eri are both characters told by their abusers that because they were born with a destructive quirk, it means they were born to destroy. Both children internalized this idea. The only difference is Eri was saved while she was still a child. and Shigaraki was explicitly not saved and failed by the hero system at every level. 

Yet, a certain part of the fandom insists that the comparison between these two characters is meant to show that Eri is meant to be someone who can be saved while Shigaraki having grown up to be a villain is therefore an example of someone who due to being a villain cannot be saved. That Shigaraki’s only role in the narrative now is a villain to be defeated, and therefore unlike Eri he no longer deserves to be saved. 

But to believe All for One’s lies that Shigaraki was born for destruction, that he enjoys it, is the same as believing Chisaki’s lies that Eri was born to hurt the others around her too. What people are missing is that Eri does not exist to be the “good guy” version of Shigaraki. It’s the other way around, Shigaraki is a much more important character than Eri whose arc is central to the whole narrative, Eri’s entire purpose for being in the story is to prove that Shigaraki is someone who should be saved. Let’s explain under the cut. 

1. Eri and Tenko

Eri is a character who is intentionally designed to call immediate visual parallels to Shigaraki. They both have long, uncombed white hair. They both have red eyes with severe bags underneath them. They are both obviously scarred, Shigaraki has scars on his face and Eri is perpetually covered in bandages. 

The intention is clear, not only does Eri look like Shigaraki but she also looks the exact same way Tenko did almost immediately after he was traumatized. Red eyes, hair turned white by stress, covered in scars. 

Eri not only parallels the scene where Tenko ran away from home immediately after losing his family, they also parallel the fact that both of them were racing through the crowds, hoping, desperately, that just one person would save them. 

They are both frightened children running away while being covered in scars, but here is the reaction that Eri gets, compared to the reaction that Tenko gets. 

This is a trick on Horikoshi’s part, using the visual art to convey framing. Framing is a technique of writing where ideas are written with the reader in mind, ensuring that the reader is able to understand what the author is trying to tell them. In other words it’s the characters within the story reacting to events in a certain way, as a device to convey the author’s intention or what they want you to understand. 

In the most basic terms if Deku saves a person, and all might pats him on the head and says that he did a good job saving someone. Then the message conveyed is that saving people is good. Events happen in a story and framing conveys a message. 

Then look at the difference between how these two scenes are framed. Eri is still cute, visually appealing, she has wide eyes and looks like an innocent lost child. When Tenko raises his eyes to look up at the old lady, his eyes are sunken in, his face is withered, and he looks like a monster child. The difference in this framing is to show the difference in how Eri and Tenko are perceived, even in the exact same circumstances, Eri is a child that needs to be saved, whereas Tenko is an ugly child that everyone looks away from. 

Horikoshi is not framing it this way to reinforce the idea that Eri is good and deserves to be saved, and Tenko is bad, rather he is showing how other people perceive Tenko as ugly in order to show their hypocrisy. The entire point of the scene in Tenko’s case is how wrong it is in the entire crowd not a single person tried to save him. 

Eri, and Tenko were both born into abusive households. A mother who abandons her daughter at the first sign of trouble, blames their child for everything, and then leaves her with the Yakuza was probably never much of a good mother in the first place. 

However, after exiting their first abusive household instead of heroes they were both found by villains who only had an interest in manipulating them. 

Chisaki, Eri’s father figure, and AFO Tenko’s father figure both repeatedly tell the children they are watching that the reason that they were born with this quirk is that they want to destroy. Both of them come to accept that it’s their fault for being born with this quirk, that they want this, that they exist to destroy. 

They both accept the lie that they are told. Their quirk manifested because they wanted it to, their quirk went out of control and killed their father because they wanted it to. They do not see themselves as tragic victims, but as the cause for all of the destruction around them. 

There is even a deliberately drawn intentional parallel to when Eri loses control of her quirk once again at the end of the arc, and when Shigaraki loses control of his quirk fighting against Re-Destro. 

They both hear the words of their abusers, and then lose control of their destructive quirks. The only difference being that Eri is crying and Shigaraki is laughing but this does not mean that Shigaraki is a bad person that lovs destruction, and Eri is a good person that hates when her quirk destroys and is therefore an innocent victim. 

The ways in which they lose control just manfiest differently. Shigaraki has been taught his entire life that destruction makes him feel better, that he was meant to destroy and that it was a good thing, he was literally groomed for this purpose. Whereas, Eri was taught that her destruction was a bad thing specifically to make her helpless and to not fight back against Chisaki. Eri was cultivated to be helpless, whereas AFO cultivated Shigaraki into someone who would actively want to destroy after AFO was gone. 

It’s almost like the environment they were raised in makes the signs of their victimhood manifest in different ways or something. Shigaraki’s laughter is no less of a cry for help then Eri’s crying. Shigaraki only laughs because he’s been pushed past the breaking point, had a trauma flashback in the middle of battle with a man who is trying to kill him, and has not eaten or slept regularly in a month. Yet, Shigaraki losing control is read as him being evil, and Eri’s losing control is read as her being a victim. 

The point being that if Chisaki was wrong when he said that Eri was made to destroy, then All for One was also wrong when he said that Shigaraki enjoys destruction. 

Chisaki and All for One both positioned themselves as Shigaraki and Eri’s father figures, and then used that position of power to control their entire lives. Neither of them saw Shigaraki or Eri as a person, only a tool for them to use to further their own ambitions. Therefore, neither of them could have known Shigaraki or Eri as a person. Everything they say about them as a person is wrong, because they only care about them to the extent of what they want to mould both children into. 

2. The Theme of the Overhaul Arc 

So, what were we as the leader supposed to learn from the Overhaul arc?  A simple answer would be “Heroes should have a frightened child in front of them, even if they’re not asking for help”. However, if the theme were just that we would hae what I call a no duh theme. 

A no duh theme is basically when the theme is so obvious that it’s kind of pointless to read about it in a story. For example if the theme was so simple as “killing people as bad” my response would be “no duh.” The point of stories is to develop ideas and learn something from them, so something has changed by the time you started the story to the time you finish it.

For example, Deku’s goal is a really vague one. I want to save people. Heroes save people. Those are pretty general statements. If Deku is the main character of the manga, his goal has to develop or change in some signficant way otherwise why are we following Deku this entire time? If he’s the same character at the beginning than at the end, then what is the point? 

The Deku from chapter one would have rushed to save Eri too. The entire point of the arc was not just saving Eri, because as far as hero-work goes saving a crying child who is a victim of a villain is pretty standard. The point is to bring up the idea of what saving people means. 

Of course no true hero would abandon a frighten child, of course Deku’s goal is to save everyone, but those statements are very generic and nonspecific. Not only that, but it’s also basically what All Might’s Goal was to begin with. Deku as a character has to surpass All Might, not just be a second All Might imitating his hero.

The point of the entire series is for Deku to grow into his own type of hero, and learn the kind of hero he wants to be. It’s easy for him to say “I want to be the hero who saves everyone” but now the story must challenge him to live up to it. Now, while Eri was a difficult fight, and was in pretty difficult circumstances to rescue her from, she also was a pretty black and white victim. She’s a crying child begging for help, of course you would want to save her. 

However, there are several ideas brought up in the process of saving Eri that are obviously set up for later cases where saving someone could be more complicated than just punching the bad guy and saving Eri from his hands. Even Eri herself is a more difficult situation because like any other child, the words that are told to her by the person who controlled her life, stay inside of her, and she cannot overcome them on her own until somebody else provides and outside perspective. 

Midoriya is met with someone who does not want to be saved. Who tells them to leave him alone, because of their abuser who controls their reality, who believes they cannot be saved and only exist to bring pain to others. Midoriya ignores that because he knows that it’s the words of their abuser speaking, and decides to save her anyway. 

The entire arc is a baseline. If Deku cannot save this person, than how can he become a person who saves everyone. It’s a test of what Deku really means when he says he wants to become a hero who can save anyone. 

The overhaul arc is an introduction, the first real taste of the difficulties and complexities of saving people, and also of it’s importance. Deku does the right thing and chooses to continue seeing Eri as a victim, rather than believing the words of her abuser. Even when eri herself believes them, because she is a child who literally has not been shown any other alternative. 

Therefore, thematically the end result of this path, for Deku to become a hero that truly saves everyone he has to grow into the kind of hero who can save Shigaraki as well. A victim who does not want to be saved, a victim who believes everything their abuser told them, a victim who believes they were born to destroy. 

It’s easy to sympathize with a crying girl like Eri. Shigaraki is a character who is much harder to sympathize with, and yet there are such obvious parallels between Midoriya and Shigaraki that it’s impossible we’re not building up to a conrontation where they sympathize with each other.

This is something that we are told over and over again in the story. That Shigaraki is a crimminal now. That he is not somebody that can be sympathized with, that he cannot be saved, only put down like a rabid dog. 

That heroes only exist to save good people. However, the central conflict of the story is literally this. That in a society of heroes there are people that do not get saved, not only that, but it is these clear and obvious gaps in hero society that creates it’s own villains. 

As pointed out by here twitter user [@ribai1] Images sourced to them. 

Shigaraki is a symbol of every victim that falls through the cracks of a hero system. In a way he is like a violent jungian shadow of society, which rises up due to society’s ignorance and neglect of the situation, of people like Shigaraki and Eri. 

Spinner is a NEET who is ostracised both for having a quirk that morphs his entire body, and also a weak quirk. He was someone who locked himself away from society because he could not handle it. At the same time Shigaraki is also someone who was raised outside of society. Due to that fact his perspective is that of an outsider looking in. Shigaraki speaks to Spinner because just like spinner, all of the good things about being accepted by society, friendship, camraderie, being accepted by others, being saved by others, all of these things are unavailable to Shigaraki the outsider. Hence why both Shigaraki and spinner lead relatively empty lives and are desperate to have some kind of cause that is against this society that does not welcome them. 

Shigaraki speaks to these people, because he is their symbol. He’s experienced the same things as all the outcasts, due to the fact that his entire life was destroyed, by Shimura Nana’s neglect, by a hero abandoning her child, by the system failing to save Shimura Tenko when he was in trouble, by All Might choosing to turn a blind eye to the child she abandoned and not even knowing of his existence, all of these factors build up to make Shigaraki the central victim of what is essentially the entral conflict of the hero system the ALL MIGHT VS AFO FIGHT. He has suffered the same way the outcasts have and thus he speaks to them. 

Shigaraki and Twice are both people who suffer from heavy mental illness, due to the fact that they suffered several consecutive ‘bad days’. Not a single person from that society reached out to help a hand, they were expected to handle it entirely on their own. Even though Twice was a sixteen year old who lost his parents in a villain attack he got no support. Even though Shigaraki was a child, not a single hero came to rescue him.

They both represent the irony that a literal society of heroes, will not save people like this, Shigaraki and Twice because they were bad, ugly victims. They both present their mental illness in an in your face, disturbing sort of way, despite the fact that Twice is a friendly guy looking for someone to understand his problems, despite the fact that Shigaraki is an orphaned child who is acting this way because the only father figure that took him in was a villain and he believes he owes him. 

Shigaraki and Toga are both labeled as outsiders because of their quirk. Both Toga’s own parents, and the Meta Liberation Army believe that it was Toga’s own quirk that drove her insane, and not her parents calling her a demon child and telling her to repress themselves. They only happened to be born with the quirk, but because nobody will accept them as who they are it comes to define their entire life.

Shigaraki and Chisaki are both children who were orphaned and picked up by a crimminal syndicate specifically because they have a powerful quirk. They are both raised into tools that have all of their humanity stripped away from them. And even then they feel obligated to pay back the people who used them, feeling like they owe them because it is their only paternal figure.

Shigaraki heavily parallels both Dabi (if he is Touya) and Shoto, as well as Hawks, because he was raised not as a child to be loved but as a hero. His primary reason for being picked up was because of his quirk. Todoroki and Shigaraki were raised as successors for another person, and not allowed to be their own person. They were both exposed to extreme amounts of violence when they were young. Shigaraki and Hawks both had their entire childhoods destroyed to be a tool of opposite sides, one a villain and one a hero.

Shigaraki even parallels Midoriya, as a quirkless kid who wanted to be a hero. Who was only bullied and put down, even by his own family members for just wanting to follow his dream. 

Not only that, but timing wise the Eri arc is literally also the first time we see Shigaraki drawn in a much more human light, and how different he is from the villain that first raided UA at the start of the manga by how he interacts with his allies. 

That there is a human behind the mask of a villain. 

Therefore, the Overhaul arc brings up the idea that saving people can be difficult, painful, but it’s also ultimately worth it to save victims who are in pain no matter how hard it might be. The reason this was brought up was not just for Eri’s sake, but to lay the groundwork for Shigaraki being saved. Because saving people is what heroes do. 

Shigaraki is center to that theme, because he parallels every victim in the manga and is the second most important character to the central conflict of the manga (the fight between AFO and OFA) to Deku himself. Which is why it’s important to understand that neither Shigaraki and Eri were born to destroy, they are both victims reacting to their individual circumstances. 

For Deku to grow as a character, for his words “I want to save everyone” to actually mean something, then he’s challenged to understand someone like Shigaraki who is difficult to understand, and that Shigaraki is also a part of everyone. 

#mha meta #my hero academia #my hero academia meta #my hero academia analysis #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #eri #eri mha #eri meta #shigaraki meta #midoriya izuku #meta

[faustonastring]

Oh?? In the stuffed animal headcanons you mentioned furbies,,, my time to shine! Can I ask for headcanons of the main 6 with an s/o Who has a furby collection? And seriously doesn't get why people are afraid of them? I'm like Nadia, but I tinker with my furbies. I have about 60.

Hey! Thanks for requesting I hope you like it! ( I also agree with you, I don’t get why people are scared of them, I have two in my room atm if were being honest I just think they’re neat

Request r open!

Main Six with a Furby Fanatic Mc

Asra

If he doesn’t have one already. He has one now. And he’s happy with that. A little too happy if you ask me.

There have been times where you were wondering where the rent money has gone, then, enters asra, holding one of those 200 dollar long furbies, so it can ‘guard over the shop’ this is the third one and if he buys another one you have every right to be scared. He most definitely buys those stuffed animals with the furby face sewn on, that go for about 50-300 dollars, putting the both of you in more debt

He probably buys really cheap, probably most likely haunted ones from the thrift store and spiffys them up the best he can with out spending too much money. Congratulations asra put you in crippling debt because of his ‘cursed’ furby collection. He likes to paint them nice vibrant colors, and if you wear false lashes, he hot glues them onto your furbies- and if you don’t, he buys some. And good ones at that (the one time he tried using dollar store ones to hot glue on, they melted and ruined his whole creation.)

He vibes the hardest with the wizard furby and has spent a good chunk of your rent money to buy it. He doesn’t regret it though, it’s a great mascot for the shop, (if your still doing the witchy magick thing in a modern au, if your not he keeps it around anyway) he also likes the jester furby and proudly named it after lucio.

Nadia

She. Does. Not. Understand. Like at all. She’s trying too! A+ for effort, but uh-ohmygod

Look, if it makes you happy, she doesn’t mind, even though their lifeless eyes are staring into her soul.... Does she find it a bit unsettling? Yes. But she’ll push through and buy you as many as you’d like as long as you promise to keep them out of the bedroom and away from guest :)

She does find a lot of joy In tinkering with them though. If you were to buy a broken furby, and want it working, she’ll have it working in no time. One to do some major modifications but don’t want to mess it up. Babe she got you covered. Do you want one torn arpart so you could use the parts for another modification? She has it done. Also if you have any your not to wild about, she will gladly take them off your hands and use their parts for one of her projects.

I feel like Nadia would like customizing plain white ones a lot, I think she’d find it as a good stress reliever, but her favorite one has to be the limited edition Easter furby she thinks it’s cute and classy. It’s also to only one she doesn’t mind having out if you have company over.

Julian

God. Oh god. Oh god please no. No. Nope nope nope nope NOPE.

Look, your his light, the love of his life, he loves you more than anything in the whole world and he doesn’t want to deprive you of your interest, no not at all. Just why. Why must your interest be so.....interesting? No unique. Why must your interest be so..unique. That’s a nice way to put it. Unique

Some one mentioned under my post about the stuffed animals- I don’t remember who it was or what exactly it said but I remember the gist of it, (and if your that person and your seeing this make your self seen so you can get the credit- if you want it of course!) they pretty much said that Julian would be scared shitless if he were ever doing something and furby accidentally turned on, and I agree. Bonus points if it’s during sex, because not much turns Julian off, but a furby waking up in the middle of it say “feed me mama” definitely does the trick. Espically if it’s this bad boy. That’s also the breaking point for him. You can have them, just hide them some where when he’s around. Please for his safety and sanity.

Julian hates all furbies equally sorry. He doesn’t have one that he even tolerates, espically after the furby being hungry during sex incident.

Portia

“They’re so cute!” She digs it. She probably had a furby collection when she was a kid and proudly used them to torture Julian. She still does. Julian still has nightmares. From then and now.

She goes thrifting with you to buy some for cheap that the both of you can customize, together, (she makes it a weekly date night for the two of you to customize a furby together. How cute.) and often buys customized furbies from small Etsy creators because she loves buying from small brands/creators, no matter how expensive it may be.

She also loves customizing her own furbies, she has like a million diffrent dies, paints, furs, eyes, glitter, anything else you need. She’s got it. She usually doesn’t sketch out what she wants it to look like in advance, she just goes for it, but if she does have something specific in mind, she does a quick sketch of it so she doesn’t forget. (She also customized a furby that looks like you, it came out more creepy than cute, but you like it anyway)

She likes cute looking furbies more than the creepy, cursed, ugly ones *ahem* asra, but as I mentioned before she usually buys customized ones from small Etsy accounts, but she is a big fan of the pink furbish furby. She thinks it’s very pretty.

Muriel

Bold of you too assume that he will judge your interest in anyway shape or form. If anything he admires how comfortable you are in your own skin, and hopes he can be like that one day. One day...

He doesn’t mind where you keep them at, if company is over or not, and let’s be hones, is company really ever over? He also doesn’t care if you have them on or off, BUT. The furbies get put away when your having sex. You see unlike Julian. Muriel has comon sense. (Well, more common sense than Julian, I should say, they’ll all dumb in their own way. Except for Nadia.)

He’ll pick up furbies and supplies for you if he’s ever running an errand and sees one, or something you might like, or we’re looking for. He isn’t big on furbies, but doesn’t mind customizing them with you, it gives him something to do, and a excuse to spend time with you. So it’s a win-win in his book.

Like I said before, he’s not to big on furbies. The ones he likes most are the ones you make together. But he doesn’t mind silver wolf furby he thinks it’s near, plus it reminds him of Inanna

Lucio

Is very weirded out, and is not afraid of showing it. If he feels like he struck a nerve, he tries his best to cover it up, or play it off as a joke. But let’s be honest. It’s not a joke.

They don’t creep him out as much as they creep out Julian, they just....give him the heebie-jeebies. He also doesn’t really seem the appeal. Why would you want something that looks like that, and wants you to take care of it all the time. “Jeez for that we should just have/adopt a kid.”

If you tinker or customize them too often or for too long, he gets very impatient and needy, which is very ironic being that he just recently said that he didn’t like furbies because “they’re ugly and you need to take care of them all the time! They’re just sooOOOoo annoying!” Ah irony. Gotta love it.

Also unlike Julian he does infact have a favorite. The angel furby. And if you customize it, tinker with it, or ruin it. He pouts until you buy a new one. He likes the white and the gold ya’know. It’s kind of his thing

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading this very cursed content as much as enjoyed writing it! Also psa: ✨don’t make fun of people’s interest because you don’t understand them✨ :)

Also thank you for 150 followers and all the love on my last post! Today was my birthday and seeing that made my day instantly better than it was before so I really appreciate it :)

Next headcanon: main six reading and cuddling with mc!

Request R open!!!

#the arcana #the arcana game #asra headcanons #asra x reader #julian devorak the arcana #lucio headcanons #muriel headcanons #muriel the arcana #nadia the arcana #portia the arcana #the arcana muriel #the arcana main 6 #the arcana asra #asra the magician #asra the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana game headcanons #asra alnazar #nadia satrinava #nadia headcanons #the arcana nadia #portia devorak #the arcana portia #julian devorak headcanons #julian the arcana #the arcana julian #lucio the arcana #lucio morgason #the arcana lucio

[theclownandtheflame]

AIGHT FELLAS it's me ya slut writing a Gaius x MC fic so if you don't like Gaius or feel grossed out by the idea of a ship then DON'T READ IT haaaa no seriously don't read it. Also don't shame those who like it. PEACE! 🧚🏻‍♀️

Btw I didn't quite finish it bc idk my imagination gets dry sometimes and stuff. BUT if any of you want me to keep writing, then ask so and I'll do it! I'll do it either way but oh well ksksksks here we go!

Victim, Victim, Monster

A Gaius Augustine x MC drabble/fic

Written by @theclownandtheflame

DISCLAIMER: Some NSFW, slight mentions of PTSD (not romanticized tho!! ew!!)

Characters used &/or mentioned belong to Pixelberry!!! All rights to them even if they take ours on a daily basis

My mother language is Portuguese so please excuse my grammar should it be necessary!

MC's name is Athena because,, :)

Final warning for Gaius' haters: don't. read. below. the line !!!!!!!!

_________________________________________

"Athena, I did terrible things to you. I abducted you. I raided your mind. I tortured your friends. I killed you."

Funny how stating the obvious got him stuck in her mind the whole night. Fragile, the bloodkeeper clutched her pillow and busied herself with happier thoughts. As if there were any at times like these.

They had just escaped the island when its effects fully wore out. She couldn't blame "grandpa" for her restlessness, as much as she wanted to. So much to consider after trekking across the ugly truth and all she could think about was Gaius. Gaius Augustine.

She heaved a dramatic sigh before changing positions. Now, laying on her back, Athena realized this was probably the best night of sleep she's had in a while. Even if there was, like, absolutely no sleeping involved.

What kept her up wasn't the nightmares this time. Something about their talk, as eerie as it went, helped her conceal the fact his face would haunt her forever. Because, oh, it would.

"You can't sleep, can you?"

The agony, crawling under her skin, hit so deep she could hear his voice at any given time. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she stared at the ceiling, counting sheeps for a change. No nightmares, no daydreams, but absolutely not a hint of tranquility.

"... Athena."

She huffed. If she knew coming to good terms with the enemy would bring him inside her head, she wouldn't have taken the high road. Her lips still tingled from the kiss she pressed to his cheek. The electric warmth shared upon breaking a boundary she would've never have crossed days prior.

If only her friends could see her now. Touching her lips with her fingertips. Thinking fondly of a monster they swore to kill.

"Are you asleep? Do you actually sleep with your eyes open? You are one strange woman."

"Leave, demon!" She hissed, forcing herself up to sit by the edge of the bed. Both hands rubbed at her temples as she whispered words of discouragement, praying to have her brain raided by better thoughts. A psych vampire who can't watch after her own mind was most likely a joke.

Until she glanced towards the door, slowly, blushing deeply at the owner of her inner voices who simply stared back in awe. So it wasn't her imagination playing tricks, huh?

He blinked. Fast.

"... Did you think I—"

"Shut up." She lisped. Her hands continued to cradle her head even as he walked in, eyebrows arched.

"I was hoping you'd be less fussy after our conversation."

Without expecting an invitation, he crossed the distance between them and leaned into the wall across from her.

Surprisingly she didn't budge. Not until her body flinched at the cold breeze that entered freely from the gap he left by keeping the door open.

"Yeah, so was I." The woman closed her eyes and took a deep breath to keep herself from shaking.

Once aware of the situation, Gaius snatched her pillow and tossed it on the door. It slammed closed from the impact, but it wasn't loud enough to startle the others.

"Hey!" She gasped, watching the scene with eyes wide. "Couldn't you just go and close it manually? Like, running for it? You're a powerful vampire, dude."

Entertained by her fright, he smirked.

"I'm also way too comfortable standing right here... dude."

Gaius Augustine was a monster. Is a monster. She couldn't really tell. Decades of cruelty couldn't be wiped out so easily, as Kamilah strongly suggested whenever she mentioned his name. Yet, the way he looked at her with a mixture of sorrow and regret proved it true: Rheya broke him whole.

He stood still, stiffening once their eyes met, and suddenly all she could see was a wounded hound looking for shelter.

"Why are you here?" She asked at last. A simple question that sent him looking for scrappers of answers he couldn't quite provide.

Why was he there, really? Because she's the only one who didn't give him a hard time? Because she knew how his mind worked, and therefore they had a reliable bond?

Because she's the only good thing left of the Rheya he once loved?

He needn't consider any further. That last possibility drained all colors from his face. Staring blankly ahead, his mouth slightly ajar, Gaius ignored her altogether and hurried towards the door.

"Wait!" She called out. Without further ado, Athena leaped to her feet and approached the man to lay a hand on his as it reached for the knob.

The look he gave her was a haunting one. Desperate. He couldn't bear looking at her face without feeling himself break further.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

He was terrified of her.

"I must leave." He blurted out, but his body remained unmoving. The gentle touch he felt on his hand moved on to his cheek, and suddenly he found himself leaning into it.

What the hell, Athena? What are you doing?, She thought. He abducted you, raided your mind, tortured your friends, killed you!

Their eyes met once more, and this time they didn't go astray. They glared at each other's hues while their heads swirmed with questions of where they stood and what they meant.

Victim, victim, monster.

Both experiencing a strong attraction that most likely came to life due to their shared fear:

To lose a purpose without making it right.

Pulling away out of a sudden, Athena turned on her heels and walked in front of a mirror. He followed short after, magnetized, his hands yearning to grasp her hips but resting on his belt instead. His towering figure could be easily seen behind her as a smile crept on her rosy lips.

"What?" He frowned. "What's so amusing to you that clearly isn't to me?"

Biting on her bottom lip, she gestured towards their reflections, believing it would be enough. By the way his lips puckered, it wasn't.

"We're vampires. Yet we can see ourselves on the mirror. Hollywood's fishy, isn't it?"

Sighing sharply not to roll his eyes at her foolishness, he leaned into her to touch the mirror's surface. The way his chest pressed into her back so that his palm could reach the glass made her heartbeats quicken.

The funny look he gave her through a squint was enough to say he heard them loud and clear. And enjoyed being the cause of it.

"You don't believe Vlad's tales, do you? It's outrageous. The man is a buffoon." He quirked an eyebrow. Looking at the mirror at the same time, the two shot each other challenging glares until she burst into laughter.

"Nah. He's not that great, by the way. I don't see the appeal... and I've certainly had better."

Wiggling her eyebrows, Athena fist-bumped the air upon spotting a crimson shade spread on his cheeks. He'd have pulled away to adjust his posture if she hadn't laid her hand upon his.

Her fingers grazed his until curling around them, her touch so gentle he could barely feel it. He closed his eyes when she laid her head back on his shoulder, and his arm slowly slithered around her waist in return.

Humming to herself, Athena shrunk into his arms and cherished the warmth of his hold. Then, the touch of his lips on her ear, of his breath tickling her skin.

"I do see the appeal in this." He growled, softly, making her body shiver from goosebumps. "Of holding you close to me instead of hunting you down. Of saving you instead of dragging you to harm's way."

The hand he had holding on her waist moved up to her breasts, hovering over her cleavage as he reached for a necklace as an excuse to his gestures. Her heart was entirely out of control at this point, beating faster by the minute – but she didn't care. She wanted him to be aware of his effects. Tilting her head, she brushed her lips across his jawline and smirked at the hiss she got in response.

"Well, there is a saying for that, y'know? Make love, not war."

Having distracted him with an array of kisses on his jaw, she reached back around her neck to unclip the necklace and toss it away. He needn't an excuse. Not anymore.

"So which one's gonna be? I'm warning you though, I'm great at waging war."

"You are infuriating." Without further notice, his hands clutched her hips to flip her around.

Once she could face him properly, Athena inched forth to try his lips for the first time, but he made sure to keep her at arm's length. His eyes, dark with lust, studied her frame before locking on her features. It's like he was seeing her for the first time, savoring the sight of something he craved despite unaware.

He took it in without a wish to kill but to touch, appraise, caress. Taste.

"Kiss me." She ordered, her voice but a whisper as his thumbs drew circles around her hips.

"No, Bloodkeeper..." He hummed, his nose brushing hers as he fought the urge to give it in. "I'm not so sure I am worthy of your lips."

Dodging temptation, he pressed a kiss to her cheek instead. A warm reminder that there's still good in this world as much as there could be in him.

"Goodnight, Athena."

She shook her head. He couldn't leave now, not when she found a way around the sharp edges of his heart. However, he was too determined to cut it short before it was too late. Even if something told him they were way past that.

Averting his gaze not to meet her hungry eyes, he planted one last kiss on her forehead and left with haste.

"Great..." She mumbled, more restless than ever. "Now I definitely can't sleep."

-//-

#bloodbound #bloodbound choices #bloodbound book 3 #bloodbound fic #bloodbound drabble #gaius augustine #gaius x mc #yes it is real the cursed ship mwah #bb choices #bb pb #theclownandtheflame : victim victim monster

[charliegreco]

( ben barnes + cis male ) — have you seen charles greco ? this thirty-eight year old is a personal financer who resides in manhattan. he has been living in nyc for thirty-eight years, and is known to be charming and confident, but can also be conniving and arrogant, if you cross them. people tend to associate them with beaten italian leather boots and smiles that never meet his eyes. @codstarters​

triggers for neglect, drug use, gambling, & personality disorders.

general information.

full name: charles greco. handle: charlie. title: n/a. age: 38. date of birth: november 12, 1983. place of birth: manhattan, new york. zodiac: scorpio. gender: cis male. nationality: italian-american. religion: atheist. orientation: greyromantic heterosexual. relationship status: single.

physical attributes.

face claim: ben barnes. height: 6'1″. weight: 170 lbs. hair color: dark brown. eye color: dark brown. tattoos: none. distinguishing marks: deep brown eyes. outfit/clothing style: beaten boots, expensive jeans, dark shirts, worn leather, fitted suits.

background information.

hometown: manhattan, new york. current residence: manhattan, new york. past residences: manhattan, new york. spoken languages: english, italian, german, russian. financial status: upper class. education level: college graduate. organization: potential illegal ties.

familial information.

mother: alessia greco. father: unknown. siblings: none. children: possibly a few bastard children.

personality.

moral alignment: chaotic neutral. mbti: estp-a - the entrepreneur. enneagram: type 9: the peacemaker. temperament: choleric.

biography.

one thing was incredibly clear to charlie greco from the moment he could comprehend the hand that life had dealt him: nothing would come easy, and nothing would be worth the time if it was.

his mother always had the means of making a decent living for her son and herself, but squandered all of her earnings on selfish means instead. she was certainly a beautiful woman: alluring both physically and with a wit sharp as a blade’s edge, but all of her attention had always been selfish. surely it was habit taught to her from a young age, something she never bothered to break before she involved herself in other human interactions. but it was likely her beauty and charm that had seduced the man who impregnated her, and the likes of his name were never so much as whispered around offspring. charlie has never known the man’s name.

babies should be a joyous occasion, and yet alessia greco found a way to make it entirely self-involved. her body had to bear the pain, her child was what made everyone so pleased, her creation. anyone who dared to involve themselves in the mess of his mother’s life was sure to see how narcissistic the beautiful italy born-and-bred woman was, and yet no one pressed a finger onto the issue.

but such is the way of the world, so often are children abandoned to their fates.

he was a beautiful baby, but grew to be an awkward toddler, an awkward little boy. alessia made no attempt to hide her disgust at how her creation could be so gangly and ungainly, could stow away for hours with quiet toys that suggested knowledge more than play with other children. but perhaps that was for the better — she couldn’t very well brag and show up with something like him, her offerings would be meager in comparison to children who were the spitting images of their beautiful parents. simple genetics, the awkward transitional period of a child, were held against a child who knew nothing of the world or such disgust from his mother. charlie was six, and alessia greco was the love of his life. all mothers should be, for little boys.

but as he grew older, as his awareness developed, and as the blinders fell from his eyes charlie became aware of his mother’s feelings. while he was utterly devoted to her, drew pictures of her at school or told stories about my mom and me, she was ashamed of his too-long legs and chubby cheeks. his loss of innocence came across the dinner table (boxed macaroni and cheese again, so mom could go out again for the night), when he told her “i love you, mommy” and alessia heaved a sigh and responded with a purfunctory, “yea.”

grades meant nothing. educational achievements meant nothing. unconditional love from a child meant nothing, and charlie began to realize that if he wanted something more than boxed macaroni and cheese for dinner every night (if alessia even bothered to make it) he would have to get it himself. however it wasn’t as simple as taking it — simply taking things earned him a swift but stern slap across the face and if he hadn’t learned in his younger years, charlie surely understood alessia’s feelings with those.

he learned his charm from her, but it wasn’t easy being the odd child he was. still, with a desire to achieve, charlie applied himself to the art of manipulation. he discovered it was simple with the charm of a child: people were more likely to assist if you added a few tears, a little naievety. his teachers began to understand his plight as home as difficult when he spun the yarn of his mother having become deathly ill. his peers found him appealing when he shared goods pilfered or traded from others (without their knowledge for the former), and the reputation he earned himself in his youth formed the personality that perfected at puberty.

while all of these tricks worked outside of the household, charlie never managed to pull the wool over his mother’s eyes. but where unconditional love once stood in tolerance for alessia and her narcissism, now contempt remained. charlie fell out of love with his mother at twelve, and never looked back.

on the summer at the end of his freshman year of high school charlie left an odd-looking boy. in the fall of his sophomore year he returned transformed, as if the summer heat had been a chrysalis and the ugly caterpillar emerged a butterfly. now if you held up a picture of alessia greco beside charlie you could see he was her child, all it took was a shot of growth hormone and the deepening of his voice. abyss-black eyes were the stark difference between the two of them (ignoring the thick black hair that sprouted from his face if he didn’t tame it back to stubble every four or so days), and alessia noted how much she despised the way he stared at her now. it made her skin crawl if only because it seemed as if he was looking through her.

and he was. now he saw her for what she was: a selfish woman who had only wanted him to brag about her own achievements. but he hadn’t been worth bragging about when he was small, and now that he towered over her she wanted him to be seen with him. but charlie refused, perhaps a little too politely for her to understand at first, and it was only in a binge of some substance abuse that he took a stern hand with her. only when she struck him first out of a dead sleep — staring at him for near twenty minutes before lashing out at him. it was the threat of never touch me again that he punctuated so perfectly, threatening to hold back no means to defend himself should she raise another hand at him.

alessia mourned for herself the loss of her baby boy. all that was left was a man who was nothing more than a reminder of her failed relationships throughout the years. you’re just like them. you’re just like them.

but he was nothing like them. perhaps the only similarity being how much he despised her, as they all did in the end.

over-achieving won him an early high school graduation by one year and excellent grades a near free-ride through college. he was always good with numbers, always good at calculations and the choice to step into the mathematical field was easy. alessia was notably absent when he gained his college diploma, if only because charlie couldn’t be bothered to let her know of the date. any by now he’d escaped the clutches of her den and made his own home somewhere on the other side of the city. he was sure he would never purposely cross paths with her, and if they did meet it was purely accidental. purely venomous.

his first steps into the world of banking began the same as any other bland story: a teller whose talent for numbers opened gateways of opportunity. charlie was twenty-two when he was offered the position of personal finance. he was twenty-four when he began taking private, rich clients, and it was only a few months into that position that he met “slick ricky” dimatteo. the meeting wound up more fateful than any singular moment he had with his mother, at least it was opportunistic. silver-tongue and charm allowed for charlie to step into the world of second set of books, illegal numbers … extra money.

now he looked exactly like the son of alessia greco. fine suits, hundred-dollar hair cut, winning smile the smiles never met his eyes — that died in his childhood, with his innocence, but he when he wagged his tongue people listened and were apt to believe the words that oozed from his lips. honest life turned to opulence … he was sure he could have had more if he wanted it, but sitting on the outskirts of a life of real crime was comfortable for him. when he stole away in the middle of the night to confirm the collection of illegal debts owed he kept his own two hands clean (so what if his command got people hospitalized, right?) and charlie prided himself on the ability to forget what he had seen. things are so often lost in the black abyss.

potential connections.

clients: charlie works as a personal financer - he cooks two sets of books. this can either be a legitimate client or one that seeks to make bets or otherwise gamble their money in some form through his other connections. 

past flings: 30+ please. charlie is a one and done kind of person. he’s not at all unfamiliar with his needs and has never expressed romantic interest in any of the women he’s slept with.

arm candy: someone who attends high-class events with him. typically someone who understands his humor, and also understands that in the world of money appearances are everything. best suited to someone he’s more friends with than a stranger. (davina yueng).

friends: legitimate or otherwise. if they aren’t connected to his illegal business, they don’t know about it. if they are friends with him through said illegal business, obviously they know. (abby rosen).

i’m open to various other connections, these are just some ideas!

#i. about #codintro #tw neglect #tw drug use #tw drugs #tw gambling #tw personality disorder

[rigonelli]

Hey i absolutely looove your writing its the best!! I was wondering if you could do a prompt where mo and he tain go to a corn maze and maybe get lost or they carve pumpkins since its fall

Guan Shan rounded another corner only to walk right into a dead end.

“Alright, that’s it!” he said. “We’re officially lost.”

He Tian, whose stupid idea it had been in the first place, didn’t seem too worried. He shrugged his shoulders and turned around, pulling Guan Shan by the sleeve to try the next corner.

“I knew this would happen!” Guan Shan ranted. He was sick of seeing nothing but corn. The stalks had grown so high and dense that it was impossible to walk through them. What kind of people went to corn mazes anyway? It was pointless, cold, and no fun. They hadn’t met a single person the whole way through, which made it eerie to boot.

“Don’t worry,” He Tian said, seeing Guan Shan frown. “I took precautions in case this would happen.”

“Why didn’t you say so before? Did you print out the outlines of the maze?”

“No,” He Tian said, smiling. The smile looked more devious than it had to be and Guan Shan knew he wouldn’t like those precautions.

“I came up with a ton of corn puns to pass the time.”

“I hate you so much.”

“I know,” said He Tian, grin widening. “I shuck.”

Guan Shan was tempted to just run away and leave He Tian behind. But he knew that would only result in him wandering lost around the maze all night while He Tian called his brother to come help him out. He Cheng would probably send Qiu with his motorcycle to mow down the corn stalks and Guan Shan couldn’t miss that.

“I hope you’re not fantasizing about kicking me in the nuts with that dreamy expression,” He Tian said.

“No, I’m fantasizing about a prince coming to save me on a black stallion.”

“You’re fantasizing about other people on our first date? That’s corncerning.”

Great, he really meant to go through with it.

“Not a first date!”

“You’re right. We’ve had so many dates, I’ve lost cornt.”

“Not a date, period,” Guan Shan snapped. “Don’t just go around assuming things!”

“I’m not assuming. I asked!” He Tian insisted. “You were asleep, but you snored very affirmingly!”

Guan Shan ground his teeth. He never should have spent the night at He Tian’s. He had always known that something would happen. After all these months he had grown careless. It wasn’t as easy masking one’s feelings in the early morning hours as it was the rest of the day. Guan Shan didn’t remember what he had said in his half-sleep, but ever since, He Tian seemed to know.

“Oops,” said He Tian, staring at the dead end just ahead. “Wrong way again.”

“Maybe we should try that trick with following the right wall,” said Guan Shan.

“Maize well,” He Tian nodded. Guan Shan really felt like punching him.

They went quiet for a while, Guan Shan’s right hand brushing along the corn stalks as they walked. He tried to pay no mind to his other hand, which He Tian had taken in his as if they could get separated at any moment.

“It’s creepy that there’s no one else here,” Guan Shan said after he had failed to ignore their hand-holding.

“I know, right? It feels like we’re being…” He Tian leant over to whisper in his ear, “Stalked!”

Guan Shan had no problem letting go of his hand for that.

“I have a little present for you,” said He Tian, unfazed. He reached inside his jacket pocket and produced a tiny pumpkin. A face was carved in it.

“What am I supposed to do with this? Eat it if we don’t make it out?”

“No,” He Tian said slowly, as if Guan Shan was stupid for not understanding. “I don’t think it’s possible to starve in a corn maze anyway. Did you know you can eat-“

“I’ll punch you!”

“The pumpkin reminded me of you,” said He Tian.

“I can see that. You carved my face into it. I don’t look happy.”

“It’s small, red, and delicious. Like you.”

“It’s also angry. Like me,” Guan Shan said, pointing to his own expression, which He Tian had captured quite realistically.

“So you don’t like it?”

“Why would I like it? It’s a shit present!” Guan Shan ripped the pumpkin from He Tian’s hand, shaking it in He Tian’s face. “Look at that! What am I supposed to do with it? You could have brought a flare gun – that I would have been very thankful for!”

“Really? How thankful exactly?” asked He Tian.

That asshole! If he seriously had a flare gun and not lost a word about it so far, Guan Shan was going to punch him. He pocketed the pumpkin, trying hard to breathe deep and relax. All he wanted right now was to get out of this stupid maze. There was a little restaurant not far from the corn field. They could go and warm up with a cup of hot chocolate and some cake. It was essential that Guan Shan didn’t lose his cool now, if he wanted that little fantasy to become reality.

“I’d be so thankful… that I’ll let you call this a date,” he said through ground teeth.

“It is a date. You can call it whatever you want. What else?”

“I’ll… erm… I’ll…” He could feel his face heat up again. “Hold your hand?”

“Boring,” said He Tian. “We did that five minutes ago. You shouldn’t have spoilt me before.”

“I’ll laugh at your corny jokes!”

“It’s more fun when you hate them.”

“Fuck!” Guan Shan cursed, kicking at a corn stalk. Truth be told, he would do anything to get out of here. Even some things he had tried very hard never to think about – at least when he was awake. He couldn’t really help it when he dreamed. But this… this was a life-and-death situation, wasn’t it? He had no choice. He Tian was practically blackmailing him here.

“You are the lowest of all creatures and I want you to know that I hate you from the bottom of my heart!” Guan Shan said, just before he seized He Tian by the jacket collar, tiptoed, and pecked He Tian on the lips.

When he pulled back, He Tian had turned to stone. It was confusing enough to keep Guan Shan’s head from exploding, at least.

“What?” Guan Shan asked when a minute had passed and He Tian still just stared at him, mouth slightly open, eyes unblinking.

“It’s just… I wouldn’t have expected that action to be followed by those words,” He Tian finally said. His voice sounded a little higher than usual.

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“I mean… yes?” He Tian said, still looking shocked. “But you never gave me anything I wanted so freely.”

“I didn’t give it freely! You blackmailed me!”

“What? How?”

“The flare gun!” Guan Shan said. “You forced me to be thankful for-“

“I don’t have a- why would I have a flare gun? It was just a rhetorical question.”

“You don’t have a…” Guan Shan turned around and sank to the ground, covering his face with his hands. “Oh my- FUCK!”

Behind him, he could hear He Tian laughing. It sounded more hysterical than anything.

“SHUCK UP!” Guan Shan shouted. He didn’t know why it came out as a pun – maybe it was some kind of defense mechanism. He Tian only laughed more. Guan Shan let him, too busy trying to persuade the ground to open up and swallow him.

After the laughter had trickled away, Guan Shan felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. The right-wall-trick will lead us out sooner or later. And I promise I won’t tell anyone about our little misunderstanding just now. Alright?”

It was a sensible suggestion. More sensible than Guan Shan would have thought He Tian capable of.

“Treat me to hot chocolate when we get out,” Guan Shan said, letting He Tian pull him to his feet. He didn’t protest when He Tian didn’t let go of his hand.

“I’ll treat you to so much hot chocolate that you’ll want to puke.”

“That doesn’t sound very appealing.”

“And when you puke, I’ll hold your hair back for you.”

“There isn’t anything to hold back-“

“And if I’m not mistaken, that thing over there looks like the scarecrow that welcomed us into the maze.”

Guan Shan looked up, and indeed, there was an ugly scarecrow looking at him from the other end of the path.

They had found the exit.

“Oh,” said Guan Shan, slowing down a little. He hadn’t expected to get out so soon.

“What’s wrong?” asked He Tian.

“Nothing. Just… about before…”

Guan Shan turned his head away, hoping he wouldn’t blush too hard.

“You’re really not gonna tell anyone, right?”

“What happens in the maze, stays in the maze,” He Tian promised. “There’s only one thing I’ll tell people if they ask.”

“What’s that?”

He shouldn’t have asked, because the question summoned that grin back onto He Tian’s face. The pun grin.

“That our first date was absolutely A-maize-ing!”

#19 days #old xian #tianshan #tianshan fic #fanfiction #my fics #mo guan shan #he tian #he tian x mo guan shan

[maddie-grove]

My Top Five Twentieth-Century (Ish) Romance Novels

Notes: Romances set during the twentieth century are among the hardest for me to categorize. First, romance novels (as we know them today) began to emerge as a distinct genre in the twentieth century, so it’s entirely possible for two romance novels, one historical and one contemporary, to be set during the same decade. What do I do with that? Second, I think twentieth-century historical romance falls into three distinct categories with little to do with each other: Edwardian-ish (post-Victorian but pre-WWI), World Wars (WWI, WWII, and everything in between), and Cold War (roughly 1947 to 1991). I lump in nineties-set romance with contemporary romance, partly because I am a very self-centered early-nineties baby, and partly because of some pivotal events that took place in the early nineties (the end of the Cold War, the popularization of Internet usage, the Old School/New School schism in romance). Also, I’ve yet to see a nineties-set historical, which isn’t the case for the seventies or eighties. This is not a science.

1. Scandal of the Year by Laura Lee Guhrke (2011)

Exact Setting: 1900s England.

Premise: Years ago, Julia, Lady Yardley, used the unwitting Aidan, the Duke of Trathen, to trick the world into thinking she’d committed adultery with him. It got her a divorce from her abusive husband, but it also dragged the very proper Aidan’s reputation through the mud. Since then, Julia has become a motorcar-racing, cigarette-smoking firecracker. Maybe Aidan should resent her, but instead he misses her and dreams of doing what everyone thinks they did. 

Why I Like It: This was the first post-Victorian historical romance I ever read, and it blew me away. Looking at it objectively, I know it has its flaws--it contains very little conflict, and Julia’s past actions towards Aidan aren’t taken seriously enough--but I love it still. Their odd-couple friendship is endearing, and their sexual chemistry is off the charts. I really appreciate that Guhrke put in one spectacular love scene, rather than three repetitive ones (as is the custom). I also like the inclusion of exciting technological developments, like cars, and Julia’s post-divorce hellion ways.

Favorite Scene: The one spectacular sex scene.

2. Let Us Dream by Alyssa Cole (2016)

Exact Setting: 1917 New York City.

Premise: Bertha Hines, a black cabaret owner and suffragette, is dealing with opposition from all sides. A racist white official is trying to get her shut down, the more “respectable” suffragettes won’t even take her money, and (more pleasantly) the hot dishwasher at her club is critical of her dance routine. Said hot dishwasher, Indian-born Amir Chowdhury, is having his own problems; he’s sharing an apartment with three roommates, he’s been dodging immigration officials since he jumped ship, and his ambitions of being a chef have stalled. Can these two prickly, passionate people ever get along? Can they maybe even help each other out?

Why I Like It: I’m a little disappointed that so many World Wars historicals are set in rather bland small towns where it might as well be 1890 . Let Us Dream is a delicious exception. Set on the eve of the Harlem Renaissance and women’s suffrage, during the waning days of WWI, it captures a vibrant historical moment. Bertha and Amir are both unique protagonists with a great dynamic; when they clash, it’s not because they don’t share values or respect each other, but because they’re both so ambitious and self-assured. Plus, the food descriptions are really good.

Favorite Scene: The dancing lessons.

3. Morning Glory by LaVyrle Spencer (1990)

Exact Setting: Early 1940s Northern Georgia.

Premise: Will Parker, fresh out of prison and half-starved, finds refuge with “Crazy” Elly Dinsmore, a reclusive pregnant widow with two little boys. Unable to run a small farm by herself, she’s taken out an ad for a husband, but she and Will sensibly agree to take things slow. Nevertheless, things...evolve. Can they get through childbirth, the tail end of the Great Depression, World War Two, and a murder trial? Are they gonna have to wait for their lives to be over?

Why I Like It: Lord, the sheer tenderness of this book. Elly and Will treat each other with kindness from the start, even though neither has received much of that in their life. Their relationship grows even lovelier as they get to know each other and weather the challenges that life throws at them. It also made me think of my grandparents, who also married shortly before WWII. Finally, there’s a lot of good stuff about responsible land management, which is very appealing to me, someone who struggles to responsibly manage an apartment and a Toyota.

Favorite Scene: Will gets the imperious but secretly nice town librarian to take an interest in Elly.

4. Let It Shine by Alyssa Cole (2015)

Exact Setting: Early 1960s Virginia and Mississippi.

Premise: Sofie Wallis, a black college student, has always done the proper thing, not wanting to upset her anxious father since her mother’s untimely death from a sudden illness. The Civil Rights Movement is gathering steam, though, and she’s not about to sit it out. Through her activism, she becomes reacquainted with Ivan Friedman, a reserved white Jewish boxer whose terminally ill mother employed her mom as a housekeeper when they were kids. They were friends back then...can they be more now? And how is the Freedom Summer going to go?

Why I Like It: Cole expertly captures both the idealism and the ugliness of the early 1960s, making for an exhilarating and thought-provoking story. The dynamic between Sofie and Ivan--both quiet, intense, and conscientious people--is both moving and sexy. There isn’t a whole lot of conflict between them; they have internal stuff to sort out (Sofie’s fear and grief over her mother’s death, Ivan’s attempts to channel his righteous anger into constructive channels) and some external obstacles to overcome (racist opposition to the Freedom Riders, somewhat disapproving but mostly scared parents, the fact that interracial marriage wasn’t legal in Virginia until 1967), but they’re pretty much always on the same page. This could make for a less-developed romance, but instead you get this incredible sense of rightness: that these are two people with shared values, great chemistry, and a deep respect for one another.

Favorite Scene: Sofie and Ivan practice for the Freedom Ride.

5. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Exact Setting: Early 1900s Arkansas.

Premise: Althea McNees Winsloe, a young widow with a three-year-old son, has no wish to marry. She doesn’t trust any man to truly look after the interests of her firstborn, and frankly none of them do it for her anyway. Unfortunately, she owns one of the best pieces of land in her small Ozarks community, and that community is full of busybodies. Instead of marrying to oblige them, she hires Jesse Best, a local man with cognitive disabilities, to help her out with her land. The arrangement satisfies them both--she likes his ideas for improving the farm, while he likes being treated as a capable person for once--but things get complicated as their mutual liking turns into something...sexier. Can it work out between them? Will the community, which refers to Jesse as “Simple Jess” way more than necessary, accept their love? And will Althea’s other suitors ever be able to put down their burdens of toxic masculinity and achieve true happiness?

Why I Like It: A book with this premise is either going to be great or a fucking mess, and Morsi hits it out of the park. Society has a bad habit of conceiving of “disabled” and “non-disabled” as two mutually exclusive categories; non-disabled people are “normal” and capable of doing everything they need to do without help, while disabled people are aberrant and generally incapable. Jesse has serious, life-altering cognitive disabilities; he has trouble remembering things, takes a long time to process things mentally, and often doesn’t pick up on when people are manipulating him. The people in his community see these disabilities and feel the need to “simplify” him into someone who has no intelligence, no sexuality, and no agency. Yet Jesse is capable of many things, and he knows what he wants. Meanwhile, the “normal” people of the community, including Althea, also need help from others: to farm land, to raise children, to be happy. The community is also well-drawn, sometimes infuriating yet always very human.

Favorite Scene: Althea sees Jesse’s farm improvements and is like “fuck yeah that’s some good shit” (paraphrase). I am also fond of the scene where Althea’s secretly gay suitor tells his asshole father to fuck off and moves to New Orleans.

#romance novels #scandal of the year #laure lee guhrke #let us dream #let it shine #alyssa cole #morning glory #lavyrle spencer #simple jess #pamela morsi

[jokertrap-ran]

(未定事件簿) EVENT!「消失的黄金」 [Tears of Themis] EVENT: The Lost Gold Translations (Chapter 4-02: Seaside Ferry)

“There's an old saying; People who raise eagles have the eagle's eyes set on them...No, that's not quite right. I suppose I should say that Dong Hechuan was the only person raising eagles right from the start.“

*Tears of Themis Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *The tracking tag for ALL Event Stories will go under: #Tears of an Event *(y/n) is your name when in direct referral; otherwise referred to as MC.

Location: Ferry’s Room

Xia Yan: Mo Yi, you mentioned Wang Xian’s “first time coming to this Island”. When was that?

Upon reaching the Ship, the five of us continued reviewing the in and outs of this entire incident of Nosta Island’s.

Mo Yi: 3 months before Lu Jinghe bought the Island. Why, is there a problem?

Xia Yan: We can leave the issue of Lin Dahai coming up to this Island seeking revenge on Dong Hechuan aside for a while.

Xia Yan: But Tian Yu and Wang Xian, their relationship with Dong Hechuan would be more complicated.

Zuo Ran: You’re trying to get a grasp on the nature of their relationship with each other based on the timeline of Dong Hechuan’s actions?

Xia Yan: That’s right. Firstly, Wang Xian had come up to this Island three years ago to scout the area. The main reason for this is—

Xia Yan: Because Dong Hechuan had given him a piece of parchment that revealed the existence of possible gold.

MC: In this case, Dong Hechuan was making use of Wang Xian with the aim of getting himself out of Prison.

Xia Yan: But Dong Hechuan had already served 10 years of his sentence in Prison. Why did he want out so suddenly? And why was he in such a rush to get out early?

Xia Yan: Based on the statement he made, he said that he saw news of PAX Entertainment buying over the Island and was afraid that they’d find the Mask during development.

MC: That’s not right. Wang Xian had already gotten his hands on the gold’s riddle before he came to the Island for the first time. Pax hadn’t yet bought the Island at that time!

MC: Dong Hechuan’s obviously lying. He must have already planned to get a commutation to his sentence much earlier on.

MC: But what spurred him into action?

Lu Jinghe: Maybe it was because the Sheriff from Country A had auctioned off one of the riddle parchments at the end of last year.

Lu Jinghe: Dong Hechuan was probably afraid that someone would get their hands on the riddle and find the mask before him.

Zuo Ran: He’s unable to solve the riddle, but that doesn’t mean that everyone’s the same. At least he’s aware of that fact.

Xia Yan: Based on this, Dong Hechuan’s cooperation with Wang Xian was only ostensibly established.

Xia Yan: But we realized on the Island that his real accomplice was Tian Yu and that he didn’t contact Wang Xian at all from the beginning till the end.

Xia Yan: Not to mention that Wang Xian had clashed with Lin Dahai for no apparent reason.

Xia Yan: This makes me doubt that there were any substantial changes to their relationship.

Zuo Ran: So, you’re saying that Wang Xian was out to seek revenge on him?

Zuo Ran: Lin Dahai had been discussing the whereabouts of where the gold might have been buried with me before Wang Xian had opened fire.

Zuo Ran: Wang Xian might have thought of Lin Dahai as a competitor.

Zuo Ran: But...for him to rush to the Cave from the Abandoned Prison at the East? Mo Yi, what do you think about this?

Mo Yi: He left the Prison in a hissy fit, thinking that he had fallen for Dong Hechuan’s ploy.

Mo Yi: Based on what he said, Dong Hechuan suffers from PTSD and often suffers nightmares related to the deaths of his buddies from that year.

Mo Yi: He came to this island to pay respects to his fallen comrades, and that very Cave was where they had breathed their last.

Mo Yi: That’s why, Zuo Ran, I don’t think that he was fighting Lin Dahai for the gold. I think he mistook him for Dong Hechuan.

Zuo Ran: I see, that’s a reasonable explanation.

Mo Yi: At that time, Wang Xian was under the assumption that he had been tricked by Dong Hechuan into going to the Prison. He was pretty agitated then, so he’s likely to shoot first and ask questions later in that state.

Mo Yi: He also panicked after managing to land that shot. In a hasty decision, he planned to finish the job, no matter how accidental, only to be shot by you…

Mo Yi: It’s a good thing that he’s got a chili bomb on his person, else he couldn’t have run away even if he wanted to.

Xia Yan: Now we can be sure that Lin Dahai and Wang Xian’s appearance at the Cave were both not just purely coincidental.

Xia Yan: This was a scenario that Dong Hechuan had prepared beforehand.

Wang Xian was smart, but he had been outsmarted this time.

MC: Dong Hechuan’s PTSD couldn’t have been faked after he had come to the decision of seeking Commutation, else he wouldn’t have pulled the wool over Wang Xian’s eyes.

MC: Lin Dahai and Wang Xian; one, someone who wants to seek revenge on him, and another, who only wishes to share the treasure with him…

MC: In other words, we can say that they’re both people that Dong Hechuan wishes to get rid of.

MC: So, instead of killing them himself, he planned to let them take each other down and get rid of each other without him having to dirty his own hands.

MC: But did he really scheme that far into things…?

My impression of him up till now was a paradox of contradictions.

On one hand, he was the sole survivor of the Great Gold Robbery that year with a murder count of 17 people behind the scenes… On the other hand, he was pretty cowardly. He might be greedy for the cash, but he also cherished his life and would reveal everything with a single scare…

Unless, was everything all just an act he put up in front of us?

Xia Yan: Don’t underestimate him. We should all keep our guards up till we safely hand him over to the Police.

MC: We just talked about the connection that Wang Xian, Tian Yu and Dong Hechuan had with each other…

MC: But when exactly did Tian Yu meet Dong Hechuan?

Lu Jinghe: Based on what Tian Yu told me, it was probably after the auction ended.

Lu Jinghe: Tian Yu had been conned by the Sheriff from Country A and someone he had hired to pretend to be a Scholar that there was treasure on the Island that would grant someone Immortality.

Lu Jinghe: That’s how he ended up looking for Dong Hechuan, to confirm if the Island did indeed, have the Golden Mask of Anubis.

Zuo Ran: Someone with as much power and money as Tian Yu would be akin to a sacrificial lamb presenting itself in front of his doorstep.

Zuo Ran: Moreover, the appeal of cooperating with Tian Yu is clear and simple. He has no conflicting interests with him and would naturally become his first choice of companionship.

Zuo Ran: With Tian Yu by his side, of course Wang Xian would no longer be of any importance or need to him.

Zuo Ran: This would also explain why Dong Hechuan would want to silence Wang Xian.

Lu Jinghe: Man proposes and God disposes. It’s a pity that he was one step slower than me in buying the Island and thus, had to turn to me for help. 

MC: Looks like we’ve got a clear timeline of the entire incident now.

MC: Dong Hechuan learnt that the Sheriff was auctioning off a piece of the sheepskin parchment late last year, so he set up a trap to bait Wang Xian into reducing his sentence; hence, releasing him early from Prison.

MC: After Wang Xian had returned from his first expedition of the Island, Tian Yu, who had previously studied the piece of parchment, approached Dong Hechuan, seeking his cooperation and the two of them eventually hit it off together.

MC: Dong Hechuan secretly abandoned Wang Xian, choosing to cooperate with Tian Yu because PAX has bought over Nosta Island's Development Rights.

MC: Lin Dahai...is just a potential threat that he wanted to get rid off along the way, as soon as possible...

MC: And as for Wang Xian, he still doesn't know that he was left in the dust by Dong Hechuan even till now...

Mo Yi: There's an old saying; People who raise eagles have the eagle's eyes set on them.

Mo Yi: ...No, that's not quite right. I suppose I should say that Dong Hechuan was the only person raising eagles right from the start.

We roughly got the gist of what had transpired on Nosta Island.

As for the Gold Robbery itself, I'm afraid it's much too difficult to get to the bottom of it since the evidence of what had happened back then within the group of robbers had disappeared along with time.

Such ugly drama of people fighting to the death over the sake of money was not something that anyone would necessarily want to hear, even if Dong Hechuan, himself, were to speak of it.

MC: (It's a pity that Yang Tiange didn't see it in him even in death.)

I sympathized a little with her experience, maybe because I'm also a girl.

MC: (But the Court's decision would probably also give her some form of justice to all of this.)

Xia Yan: Next, let’s put all four of the sheepskin parchments together and see where the Golden Mask of Anubis is truly being hidden at.

Staff Member: President Lu! Something has happened at Base Camp, I'm afraid your presence is required.

A member of the staff came knocking on the door before we could start our discussion anew.

Lu Jinghe admitted the guy in.

Lu Jinghe: What happened?

Staff Member: Lin Dahai and Dong Hechuan, both of whom have been sent back to the Base Camp earlier than others, have gotten into a fight with each other.

☆⋅⋆…⋅─────────── ⋆⋅✾⋅⋆ ───────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

Previous Part: (Chapter 4-01: Seaside Ferry) | Next Part: (Chapter 4-03: Base Camp)

#Tears of Themis #Translations #Otome #Mihoyo #未定事件簿 #陆景和 #Lu Jinghe #左然 #Zuo Ran #夏彦 #Xia Yan #莫弈 #Mo Yi #消失的黄金 #The Lost Gold #Tears of an Event

[rkevent]

Leaving the two’s behind, it’s the start of a new episode. The best performances of the previous week get their own few seconds to shine again, as well as the two contestants who were allowed a chance of return. There will be no more chances for return and, counting with this episode, there are only three left. There’s still a lot to happen, however. The middle has only just been breached.

The public is welcomed to the set of recordings and the layout they are already used to. The thirty remaining contestants are properly separated between the two sides of the stage and, just as impressive as always, the five CEOs make their way to their seats. They look bigger up there, but their strong aura gives that impression from anywhere. Once they’re properly seated, the episode is ready to start. “Welcome, all, to the fifth episode of the Mnet Global Auditions!” Baek Jiyoung greets. The remaining contestants nod or clap in agreement before she continues.

“Let’s bring our first-ever trio to the stage, shall we?” The woman smiles. “Please come to the stage, CHOI MINHO, JEON HEEJIN, and ZHOU JIEQIONG.” The contestants do as told, walking to the center to introduce themselves. In unison, they say their team name. “Hello! We are the Royal Court!” Once they’re done, they move to their practiced positions. Before they can prepare themselves, however, the image wobbles to something different. 

It’s the outside of the Sphere Entertainment building. As announced in the previous episodes, the contestants would be practicing inside camera-filled practice rooms for the public to see how they act behind the scenes. For the time being, only one person appears to be inside. When they zoom in, it becomes even more clear that it is CHOI MINHO. He paces around the room, clearly unsettled. To remind those not up-to-date on idol news, images appear of the same man debuting under that same company he was in that moment. Now, he’s only another contestant waiting for his partners to arrive.

MINHO moves towards the bag he’s brought and opens it, but the item inside it properly blurred for no one to see. It’s only when the camera focuses on the opening door that you can see what the proper reaction to it would be. His teammates, JEON HEEJIN and ZHOU JIEQIONG, enter the practice room and stop on their fit. HEEJIN’s eyes open wide while JIEQIONG tries to hold in a smile. “Heejin… should we be worried?” She asks the other. When the screen finally shows the man, he has a clown wig on top of his head. “Just one question,” JIEQIONG continues, “how long have you been sitting there like that?” He looks surprised by the question but answers it. “Long enough to put this wig on?”

“You’re an interesting guy…” HEEJIN adds before properly walking inside the room. The two girls appear without any makeup on, unafraid to show their natural looks. Time skips ahead to them in the middle of practice. HEEJIN puts on weird-looking glasses as part of their practice but, by doing so, her hair gets all messy. “Oh my god, Minho - Heejin now!” JIEQIONG gestured wildly in the other girl’s direction. “We have to protect her image! Hurry!” While MINHO moves to help HEEJIN, the other girl sticks her face in front of a camera and makes weird faces to try and save her partner’s image. It’s then that the camera freezes and an arrow points out another camera behind the girl’s head. The angle is changed and now people can see JIEQIONG going crazy in front of the camera while the man tries to fix the other’s hair. The screen quickly goes black-and-white and a text appears saying ‘image-less contestants.’

It’s like that their behind the scenes sequence ends and we’re back to the stage. A stool is set on the center of the stage with HEEJIN while JIEQIONG and MINHO move to separate sides of the stage. The younger girl puts on the glasses that act as a VR set and picks up a game controller. An announcer voice comes from the speakers saying ‘Jeon Heejin, select a song to continue.’ Their song starts to play, and it’s a mashup of two popular songs. While the other two dance, HEEJIN acts as the one who’s controlling them. That’s until they take off her glasses and the girl starts to dance along. They smile at the end of their performance. “I think we did good,” JIEQIONG comments on her interview. “It was supposed to be a fun performance so I hop everyone liked watching it.”

When the screen shows the Sphere practice room once again, the previous trio can be seen talking to each other but the camera zooms in on the other corner of the room where maybe the small DO KYUNGSOO wasn’t seen at first glance. He sits by himself far from the other group, just staring at them from afar. Time skips to when his other two partners join him: CHOI YEWON and SEO CHANGBIN. They sit in silence as well, and the scene is edited to show a rainy cloud above their heads while the other side of the room appears to live in sunshine.

They change, and the text at the bottom of the screen says ‘Day 2.’ DO KYUNGSOO enters the practice room with two boxes. He places one of them in front of his teammates while the other he pushes across the midline of separation from the other trio before running away. Inside is food which is, apparently, the best of friendship makers. Not only did the trio seemed to enjoy the quiche brought to practice, but also the team on the other side of the room. In a nice montage, the screen shows the different snacks they’ve brought for practice. In one of the cuts, KYUNGSOO is seen is CHOI MINHO’s arms as he does squat reps. They make sure to include some scenes of the trio practicing together as well just to make it clear it wasn’t all just fun.

“Working with KYUNGSOO and CHANGBIN was so much fun, though I don’t know if they would say the same.” CHOI YEWON says in her interview. “KYUNGSOO is a little quiet when you first meet him but once he warms up to you he is really easy to get along with. CHANGBIN, on the other hand, was sort of intimidating at first but after being around him for so long you realize that he’s a nice guy,  you just have to feed him.”

When they’re back on the stage, they stand with beautiful outfits. SEO CHANGBIN and DO KYUNGSOO wear red and white suits, respectively, while CHOI YEWON has a blue silk dress. “We are the Ugly Truth!” They introduce themselves before getting into position. The two men stand on opposite sides of the table while the girl sits right at the front. They prepared a stage filled with story. YEWON stands and walks around the time while she raps, stopping to hold onto KYUNGSOO but he does not react. CHANGBIN’s voice brings more strength and power unlike the soft voices before him. If you pay close attention, you notice they only move when they are singing or rapping. As the song drifts away, their sad performance also comes to an end.

With the first two performances over with, the next trio makes their way to the stage, the table that was previously there disappearing. The third trio to stand on stage is formed by KIM JUNGEUN, TAKADA KENTA, and CHWE HANSOL, all wearing bright shades of red with a hint of retro style. “Hi, we’re Triple Treat!” They introduce themselves. Wearing a smile, HANSOL continues: “It’s about to get funky.” 

Nova building is shown on the screen for a second before it moves into the practice room trainees will be sharing. JUNGEUN is the first to arrive and takes her time to explore the room before it gets too crowded, visibly amazed. “Hello,” the female representative of the first trio waves at the camera. “Let’s begin!” They’re sitting together in the practice room to discuss their song. When the girl suggests doing a track from Triple H, both KENTA and HANSOL look excited and pleased with the option, so the next step is sorting out the technicalities. 

At first, despite KENTA’s attempt to demonstrate the dance taking JUNGEUN’s place and teaching HANSOL, they seem to struggle because of the awkwardness between the members during the sexy parts the girl shares with HANSOL. JUNGEUN laughs at times and, KENTA, one the other hand seems to lack focus, eyes on the other group’s constant arguments. However, they persist and keep practicing together. “Don’t they look…. so pretty? I feel like I see flowers when I look over.” It’s YEJI from the other trio who says it to the camera.  HANSOL offers to help KENTA with the English lines and JUNGEUN’s with her rap portion, yet the scene is still far from ideal. Through the week, KENTA tries to keep everyone’s spirits up making faces in the mirror, interacting cutely with the camera and chatting, sometimes getting a displeased look from PARK JINYOUNG.

When they’re going over the choreography and JUNGEUN makes a small mistake, the girl laughs with frustration and the boys join in, clearly exhausted, creating a scene that looked more terrifying than funny despite the laughter resounding through the room. “You guys wanna catch a movie?” Eventually, HANSOL suggests they take a break and they all agree.  Once they’re back and other things keeping distracting the members, HANSOL approaches KENTA. “We really need you to focus. This is getting out of hand, don’t you think?” The rapper says firmly. “I can understand the jokes and the tricks and all that other stuff. It’s good for morale, but it’s only good to morale when there aren’t other things to focus on. You just seem way too distracted by what’s going on over there because of DANIEL and your is over there. It’s really becoming too much, KENTA. DANIEL isn’t a child.”

After their honest conversation, the members run through everything once again, dance and vocals put together, but the screen freezes before the first verse and returns to the trio on stage, positioned in the middle to start. HANSOL holds a charismatic expression as they kick off the performance and, even if she struggled during practice, JUNGEUN confidently displays the sex appeal the song needed. The choreography is not too complicated, but they manage to execute it well with their energy and it’s visible that their chemistry improved. They do the moves in sync. KENTA doesn’t miss the opportunity to give a sexy look to the camera, pushing a hand through his hair.  Freestyling for a bit as the song comes to an end, the trio finishes their performance well.  “We were so cool!” We hear KENTA gushing as they return to their seats. “Yeah, we’re not bad at all,” JUNGEUN says. 

HWANG YEJI, PARK JINYOUNG, and KANG DANIEL are next. They place their chairs down and gather to introduce themselves. "We are the love shot!" They exclaim in unison. "Jin-" JINYOUNG shouts immediately, followed by DANIEL's "Niel-" and the girl’s "Ji!", the syllables of their names before they hold a gun pose, two of them turning their backs on DANIEL.  

Inside Nova’s practice room they are sharing with the previous team are YEJI and JINYOUNG. Something looks off in the way the girl stares at her partner before she suddenly shouts: “Ah! Snow White Oppa?” The camera zooms in JINYOUNG’s expression and the editors add elements of the said Disney princess on the contestant’s face before it shatters into pieces as DANIEL walks into the room, making the atmosphere rather gloomy. The trio starts discussing their song options, but not everyone seems interested. “Daniel? Are you listening? We need your opinion on this.” JINYOUNG asks and the other’s surprised reaction says more than words. “For now you don’t even need ideas, we just want to know what you think of these songs.” It’s clear by his tone that JINYOUNG is losing his patience, especially when DANIEL mentions his friends’ eliminations. In the end, they all seem to agree on Love shot and choose to put some twists on it. 

“i let my emotions get the best of me,” DANIEL admits in an interview. “I started thinking that I didn’t deserve to be there anymore. It wasn’t the first time I thought it, but this week was the first time I’ve ever been in the mgas without SUNGWOON.” PARK JINYOUNG appears next. “I won’t lie and say there wasn’t any tension. On the first day of practice, I felt like DANIEL just gave up on himself and on us, and he really wasn’t putting any effort to help to choose the song and figuring out what we wanted to do. It’s very unfair on his part to act like this when so far he’s been treated very favorably in this competition. That is the behavior of a spoiled child,” he finishes honestly.

Screen split in two, images of YEJI adjusting the choreography and DANIEL sitting with his guitar, working on the arrangement, are shown side by side. “I have fixed the choreo so that you should be able to dance it,” the girl nods and it goes back in time where DANIEL supplies. “I’m not good at dancing.” However, when they finish the first draft with the line distributions, YEJI doesn’t look pleased, giving a DANIEL a slight glare. “Are you underestimating me?” And the week continues to be turbulent to the trio. “I don’t… think I have very much to show, especially not anything I didn't already. It’ll be just like ERIC said,” DANIEL says during practice. “Take what he said and use it. Fight, don’t just stand there and let him and all the other decide who you are, because I’m honestly starting to believe them.” JINYOUNG’s words are harsh and the air is thick when YEJI returns to the room. “Are you here to argue or practice?” She asks. When DANIEL finally agrees, JINYOUNG asks for a hug so they can move on. 

Commanding the dance practices, YEJI shows a professional and stern image. As DANIEL continues to make mistakes and apologize, the girl gets more frustrated. “Don’t apologize for making mistakes, just practice so you don’t make them when we’re performing- this is where you can make mistakes.” The teammates are interrupted by JUNGEUN, making her way to their side of the room. “Look, I know we’re on different teams, but if you don’t get your shit together then you might as well tune your bass again instead of being here,” she says to DANIEL before HANSOL separates them. “I’m going to get better just so I can bet you, JUNGEUN-ssi,” he says. Tensions are high, but it seems to motivate the boy because when more images of him practicing are shown, he has a different look in his eyes. As they run their lines together and practice the choreography, DANIEL expresses his desire to sing the last line. “If you can do the entire choreo, without making a mistake by the end of today. I’ll consider it.” YEJI says. 

And to keep the element of surprise, they go back to the studio without revealing if DANIEL got his wishes granted. They’re sitting on their chairs, DANIEL in the center, holding his guitar. It’s a melody everyone can recognize, but the acoustic version gives a different vibe to it. JINYOUNG’s voice is heard through the room and the other member joining him for a brief second, YEJI taking over before the rap portion that belongs to DANIEL. With JINYOUNG singing “It’s a love shot!” and aiming the gun formed by his hand at the camera, it all seems to lead to the chorus, but the instrumentals pause and they surprise the audience with a dance break. Centre-stage, YEJI shows her powerful moves and overflowing charisma. Pretending to take a shot, the girl walks back to her position and they continue doing well. When they progress to the chorus again, signaling the end of their performance, the whole group dance to it. It’s DANIEL who sings the final line before the music fades out and all three of them strike a pose as if drinking a shot.

“The team performing ‘Love Shot’ did well,” LEE CHAERYEONG comments, “I like how they put effort into changing the performance from the original.” Not everyone felt like agreeing with her, however. “It was good and they all had their solo moments,” CHOI MINHO starts, “but it didn’t feel like a team performance as much as it felt like they were taking turns.” JO YURI appears as well. “DANIEL-ssi and that guitar.” She groans. “We get it, you can play guitar – but really? It’s all he’s done.”

The building to appear is TRC. When the practice room is shown, most of the contestants are already there, except for WONG YUKHEI, who comes in holding cupcakes for both his teammates—JO YURI and MIYAWAKI SAKURA—and the one sharing the room. It feels like sharing food is a recurring theme between the rooms, no matter where you are. As much as they eat, the editors make sure to also show them practicing.

It’s another random day when WONG YUKHEI is shown leaving the room without explanation. They fasten the footage to indicate how long it had taken for him to return before he does so, walking in without much to show. “YUKHEI had to run to the bathroom for a while without telling us what was happening,” SIA KIM (one of the other contestants in their room) comments. “After a long time, he came back and told us he had Mexican food the night before and not to use the bathroom after him.” She covers her face with her hands and groans a little, but it doesn’t stop the laughter. “Maybe we never should have asked…”

With the end of practice comes a performance. The trio stands on stage, all wearing suits, before introducing themselves. They get into positions, each doing something different for the start. YUKHEI starts by singing the first vocal lines, followed by YURI’s own charming voice. In contrast to them, SAKURA takes on the rap lines of the song and also manages to show some of her Australian accent when the song gets to English words. They all stop together when the song ends, concluding their performance.

“They worked well together, and maybe it’s because the song is originally performed by a smaller group, to begin with, but it looked very complete even with just three of them.” PARK WOOJIN says.

Back in the practice room, the door opens, revealing one of the members of the other trio. “Whoa!” KIM SEUNGHUN gasps. “Do you feel this energy? It explains why their trainees and artists have that aura,” he continues, truly amused, then snaps back to reality. “Oh sorry! I got carried away in my excitement,” The boy bows to his teammates, KANG HYUNGGU and SIA KIM, with a sheepish smile. “Nice to meet you! Let’s work well together.” The three sit together on the floor and it’s the other boy who suggests they play an icebreaker game to take the edge off. The end is cut short when the scene changes to SIA’s face of disbelief. “How could you tell three lies?” HYUNGGU doesn’t see that as a negative. “I do what I want,” he says with a laugh.

“Do you think the fact I accidentally threw a flower at HYUNGGU last week was a sign we’d work together?” SEUNGHUN questions during his interview. “I think he was embarrassed about it,” HYUNGGU adds to the story. “I don’t think the flower was originally intended to be for me. But it helped us be more comfortable around each other!”

Apart from HYUNGGU, the other two members don’t seem too familiar with dancing. “If you guys give me tonight and tomorrow morning, I can learn it and teach it to you guys,” the dancer promises confidently. While they appear busy learning their song, SEUNGHUN also appears busy with something else. The boy appears dancing to something different, and once the camera zooms out of him, it shows that he’s copying the other team’s dance moves. “Apologies! I thought you needed a fourth member!” He jokes, dropping himself on the floor beside his trio.

The team makes their way to the center of the stage and introduce themselves. “Leaving you breathless, we’re team Avid!” They all say together. From the start, they move gracefully to the choreography of the song. HYUNGGU starts as the center before the other members can be revealed from behind him. The three get to share their vocal tone, and the three of them are also dancing. Throughout the song, they keep their faces expressive as well. In the end, the dancer takes the center again, and their performance neatly comes to an end.

“The performance was a bit of a letdown.” LEE NAKYUNG says. “I thought they’d all unify their creative minds and come up with something great, but all they really did was a cover? I don’t know what happened there. maybe they were trying to play it safe. Maybe SIA has grown complacent with her achievements so far but the CEOs themselves said she shouldn’t let it go to her head. If she falls out of Top 3 I wouldn’t be too surprised.”

Three chairs in the center give a déjà-vu sensation, but this time who goes up next is YOO TAEYANG, SOHN YOUNGJAE, and KIM HYOJIN. "Unlocking your hearts, we are The Master Key," they introduce themselves, followed by Park Jihoon's famous "jeojang" gesture. 

The camera follows HYOJIN into KT’s practice room, where the red-haired contestant joins the two dancers and greets them respectfully with a bow. “Hi, I’m KIM HYOJIN.” Once they’re done with introductions, the performance topic comes up and HYOJIN’s bright hair color is not what makes the boy stands out this time. “I’m… not the best dancer, but I will work my hardest on whatever we end up choosing.” He says, but as Youngjae continues to suggest some options for the trio, it seems like it will be a problem. “You think you’d be able to do something like this?” YOUNGJAE insists. “If we make the choreo easier, maybe this one?” Another failed attempt. Visibly frustrated, HYOJIN bows his head apologetically at the others. “What should we do?” He asks. It takes a while, but they finally set with Blooming Days. 

The task of training HYOJIN for their stage is left to TAEYANG, who already proved his expertise in the skill and seems qualified to not only help the singer but to offer modifications for certain parts so that members’ all level of dancing are able to execute it nicely. They throw around the idea before they decided to use chairs as part of the choreography. Despite the struggles and the time frame offered, TAEYANG is shown coming up with a fitting choreography without trouble. Practice starts right away and the seriousness of the moment is interrupted when the camera focuses on HYOJIN breaking out into an embarrassed smile when he attempts to execute a sexy move and keep a charismatic expression. “You go into the chorus with a bang! And then, like, swoosh, and you get the feeling of pow!” YOUNGJAE tries to explain the routine when Taeyang is out, doing the movements of the song, but the other’s expression is of utter confusion. “Eric… I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” says HYOJIN, and they show a scene of YOUNGJAE staring at the other side of the room here his former partner, YUGYEOM is practicing. 

When everyone is gone, HYOJIN stays in the room practicing the choreography in front of the mirror persistently, showing an image that contrasted with his sweet vocals. “I’ve really decided to take a risk this time, hm?” He mumbles to himself out loud. “I’ve never danced before… And this is also the first time I won’t be using an instrument. Keyboard-ssi, I miss you.” The boy hums the last line with a melody. A different outfit shows it’s a different day, but he remains practicing until he’s the only one left in the room even though he looks exhausted. HYOJIN yawns and turns his phone to the camera to show the hours. “Right now, it’s around two a.m. Hope you’re sleeping well - I’ll work hard and quietly so that I don’t wake you up, okay? Fight!” 

The camera returns to the stage where we can see TAEYANG sitting down on one of the chairs with HYOJIN, back to back, while YOUNJAE stands to the side, the third seat empty. The instrumentals kick in and HYOJIN’s voice is the first to be heard until TAEYANG takes over. Although there’s no dance for this part, they keep their expressions on point as they deliver the lines. It’s when YOUNGJAE starts singing that the others stand up as the song builds up, they show what the audience was expecting from the dancers, mixing the original choreography with something new, and their different images seem to work well on stage. TAEYANG and YOUNGJAE make a picture sign with their fingers, a reference to the original version. HYOJIN doesn’t struggle to keep up with the others and uses simple movements in his favor, not only showcasing his stable vocals but also a new image. The challenges during practice don’t stop them from ending the performance neatly. Running back to his seat, Youngjae realizes too late that his chair was still on stage. “Whoops!” He says and runs back to get it before joining his trio again.

DO KYUNGSOO appears to comment. “I did notice there was a part where TAEYANG and ERIC danced and HYOJIN, who was in the center, just sang. I am not sure if I agree with that choreo choice, mainly because HYOJIN looked out of place in the middle there when the two other boys were dancing hard and in sync.”

The next group appears also formed by three boys. They’re KIM YUGYEOM, NAM JOOHYUK, and WANG JACKSON. “Hello! We are Two Twenty One Two!” They introduce themselves and get into position before it changes back to their practice room time. YUGYEOM comes charging through the door and holds onto JACKSON. “Hyung! I can’t believe we get to work together!” The three seem to work well together, and the two friends get to know JOOHYUK better as well which is proven by the intricate handshake he shows off with YUGYEOM on another day.

“This week…” JOOHYUK chuckles during his interview, “YUGYEOM and JACKSON were a blast to be with. YUGYEOM and I are the same age and our wavelengths are completely compatible while JACKSON made sure we held it on together, I think we make a pretty strong unit.”

They appear again on top of the stage, ready to perform. To show off their charms with a song that could be classified as provocative, the boys all show a bit of dancing as well as another one of their skills. JACKSON is the one in charge of singing, while YUGYEOM performs with a rap, and JOOHYUK decides to do a bit of both, showing that they had it all. The choreography involved a lot of body rolls and the unexpected lifting of their shirts, but only two of them did it—YUGYEOM and JACKSON. They go into a dance break that leads towards the end of their song and they make their final pose.

KANG HYUNGGU appears on the screen. “Did you see him lift his shirt?” An image appears on the screen to make it clear he was referring to YUGYEOM. The one being interviewed starts to laugh. “kIM YUGYEOM does not have abs. I’ve seen him shirtless multiple times and those were almost definitely drawn on.” Another person appears. “YUGYEOM’s group?” LEE NAKYUNG says. “Did they forget this is family television? With JACKSON on their team just back from elimination, I would have thought of something better to do… I still hope YUGYEOM is the one to go rather than JACKSON, though.”

Three more people make their way to the stage. There are two girls, LEE CHAERYEONG and LEE NAKYUNG, and a boy, PARK WOOJIN. Together, they say their introduction. “We’ll burn the stage! Hello, we are Firefighters!” With a special computer effect, the scene goes up in flames, and, in its place, the outside of the Royal building appears. There’s a loud mash of two different pieces of music going against each other before showing the contestants inside. They try to practice at the same time, but the loudness appears to even affect them. “I had to leave a couple of times a day just to give my eardrums a break,” PARK WOOJIN grimaces upon recalling the ringing in his ears. “What were the chances the two teams with the loudest songs ended up in the same practice room?” WOOJIN is shown making his way back inside the room. 

Going to a more quiet time, the group sit calmly together and discussing what to prepare. “We are all dancers so we came to the agreement that this was a great outcome.” LEE NAKYUNG says. “We didn’t have to hold back much in case someone else wasn’t too comfortable with the skill.” The interviewer asks her a question. “Did the trio that shared the room with you ever interfere on your plannings?” The girl stops for a second before replying. “Honestly… yes.” She chuckles but her face isn’t very amused. “I really had no problems with him beforehand but I think SUWOONG may be a bit too competitive.” While she explains the situation, it plays on the screen for people to see. “One day when we were practicing our songs, SUWOONG kept turning the volume of his group’s song up even if that clearly made it hard for us to listen to our own. It’s not that hard to keep the two songs balanced—we were already doing that before. So, of course, I turned our own song up. We had to practice just as much as they did. Honestly, it just felt very immature.” In response to this, SUWOONG appears on the screen. "She started it.“

In contrast to the two other’s unhappiness, CHAERYEONG doesn’t look as bothered. Their practice session comes to an end with the girl making different expressions towards one of the cameras, preparing for the stage that was about to come.

They’re back on the stage, now all in their starting positions. With the start of the song, they all scream the first line together: “Get it lifted!” And their loud song starts. CHAERYEONG starts with her first rap verse, and NAKYUNG follows along with one of her own. Unlike what would normally be expected, the two cute girls take on the long portions of rap that took most of the song, while WOOJIN is the one who sings the fewer vocal lines. Along with the lines, the group is continuously dancing, as expected of a group of three dancers. As their song near the end, instead of following with a final dance break together, each member has their own time to shine with a solo choreography of their own. Once they each show what they got, they finally take on their final positions and what was once loud comes to silence.

HWANG YEJI appears in her interview. “NAKYUNG’s performance stood out to me. Their stage was more powerful than I thought but they are all dancers, so they had it rather easy I think. It was impressive.”

Heading to the final performance, the last group take their place on the stage composed of LEE SUWOONG, NA JAEMIN, and SHIN RYUJIN. “We are the Golden Trio!” They make sure to introduce their team name. Just as before, the scene changes to how their practice time went. This room also appears to enjoy something when SUWOONG brings bubble tea with him and offers them to the other group first before sitting with his own teammates. Except the happy vibes don’t last for long in this group.

They’re practicing their dance routine, and when they finish, SUWOONG doesn’t seem too satisfied. "Let’s do the chorus again, it feels a bit sloppy.” They try again, but the boy still doesn’t look content. “Let’s break for ten,” and then he leaves the room. When he makes his way back, someone else is missing in the room. It appears that RYUJIN went to the infirmary over a migraine. His brows furrow a bit. “A migraine?” So the two males continue to practice by themselves without the presence of their third member.

SUWOONG sits by himself in the room before both JAEMIN and RYUJIN enter the room. The girl has the eyes of someone who had obviously been crying. She demands an explanation of the false truths the boy had been telling about her. The boy crosses his arms. “Are you calling my cousin a liar? That’s very accusatory, Ryujin-ah. I don’t really appreciate you insulting her in front of me.” RYUJIN says back that she doesn’t even know who his cousin is, so SUWOONG calls the other girl to get this confusing debate over with.

With cuts appearing on the screen, the public is introduced to Amarante. It’s the name of a group that was supposed to debut with RYUJIN in it, but the girl clearly isn’t part of the plans anymore. SUWOONG’s cousin had told him that RYUJIN was the cause of their never coming debut, but now that she’s put on the spot, the girl on the phone confesses her lies on television. SUWOONG looks defeated and puts his head down after the phone call is done. “You were right, JAEMIN.” He says. “It was a misunderstanding, after all.” He raises both of his hands in prayer while looking at RYUJIN with a slightly pinched nose and softened eyes. "Please forgive me.”

The result of the situation is to be shown at their stage, whether they deliver a performance with high spirits or not. It all starts with a line done by RYUJIN. “Those oppas are weird.” That kickstarts to what will be the rest of their performance. Following the girl, SUWOONG does the energetic introduction embedded at the start of the song, followed by JAEMIN’s rap verse as the true first lyrics of the song. Their choreography comes with a lot of performing. They all act weird, just like RYUJIN has called them. They all fight and play with actions pre-prepared. At the final stretch of the song, they take out golden coins from bags and throw them at the contestants sitting on the side, showing the ‘jackpot’ they had earned.

“Ah, truthfully, RYUJIN and I had a misunderstanding in the beginning.” SUWOONG starts. "We were really lucky that we were mature enough to talk through it, otherwise it would’ve impacted our performance. We’ve worked hard to make it this far, so it would’ve been a shame had we let this small hiccup drag us down.” He offers a small smile then. NAM JOOHYUK appears next to leave a comment. “They were pretty good! RYUJIN’s solo part was as expected from her, phenomenal and while the rest of her team came on quite strong as well.”

With the end of all performances comes the tense music the public should be used to by now. Should a contestant make it through this episode they’ll see themselves going straight to the semi-finals. With a total of ten groups on this round, a brutal number of five—half of them—will lose one of their members. Katie Lee takes her microphone to start with the announcements which will be a long one for sure today. “Congratulations to all of you for putting such impressive performances today. As much as you’ve grown with each passing episode, not everyone can be on the top spot.” The woman pauses, looking at the contestants below her.

“From the ten groups here, three trios will get to stand on stage right now.” The CEO looks down at her notes before calling out the names of the best contestants of the week. “The top three of the week are CHOI MINHO, JEON HEEJIN, and ZHOU JIEQIONG; JO YURI, MIYAWAKI SAKURA, and WONG YUKHEI; and LEE CHAERYEONG, LEE NAKYUNG, and PARK WOOJIN.” They’re welcomed to the stage by the other contestants and stand beside their own teammates. “You’ve all managed to show a captivating stage in your own way. It was great to watch you perform, but the top performance has been chosen.”

A long pause makes time for the camera to focus on each of the contestants on the stage before it returns to Katie Lee who sports one of her more serious looks. “The winners of this week are… LEE CHAERYEONG, LEE NAKYUNG, and PARK WOOJIN.” The screen shows their reactions. “With a team composed of three dancers we were scared of what you would be able to come up with, but you managed to show that you shouldn’t only be classified as that. You also didn’t try showing more than what you have and it was a very well-balanced performance. Congratulations on your win and the two other groups here as well.”

There’s a new round of applause and the trios already called are safe for the day and each received their own spot at the semi-finals. They return to their seats and, between the seven trios left, only two of them will get to remain complete. For what’s next, and what everybody dreads, Hyun Bin is the one to speak.

“The same way we have our higher ranking teams, we also have the lower ranking ones.” The man nods towards the contestants. “During our duos rounds, both members of the pair were eliminated when they landed on a low rank. For this round, only one of the members will be leaving us. Five contestants in total will be eliminated today.” And with that, the tense music returns. The camera focuses on the face of different people and maybe one of them is your favorite. “So… we’ll start with the first trio who’ll lose a member today.”

Hyun Bin pauses again, raising the tension in the room. “It’s between KIM YUGYEOM, NAM JOOHYUK, and WANG JACKSON.” He stops and directs a stare at the three males. “You had an entire week to prepare something and it just felt really lacking. You had everything to make this a very risky but good performance, but instead, it was incredibly bland. Sadly to you, showing your body wasn’t as impressive as it could have been. As mentioned before, though, only one of you will be going home today.” The man takes the time to lick his lips before making the announcement. “The member of this trio to be leaving us is… KIM YUGYEOM. We hope you may continue with your journey, although this competition may no longer be part of it.”

With a nod, the man moves on to the next. “The second trio between the lower ranks are… CHWE HANSOL, KIM JUNGEUN, and TAKADA KENTA. While it certainly looked like you were having a lot of fun together, it wasn’t really a performance that felt like you could show your skills very well. If you think it was and that is all you got to show then you all must also agree with your position here. Of course, this doesn’t mean all of you were bad. Only one will leave us today and that person is… KIM JUNGEUN. We hope you can see where you can grow and continue improving yourself out of the show.”

And with two people out, it means it’s time to cross the middle line. To continue with the announcements, Seo Jisub is the one to speak next. “Moving on, the third trio between the lower ranks are… KIM HYOJIN, SOHN YOUNGJAE, and YOO TAEYANG.” The CEO calls out. “We appreciated the modifications you made to your performance. You tried fitting all the members to the performance. However, each time we have fewer performances, and while we may appreciate some things, we also must pay more attention to smaller details. There were others who performed a better act, and they had more of these details than yours did. Due to this, one of you will have to go home, and that person is… YOO TAEYANG. Hopefully, you’ll get to keep working towards your dream even after leaving us.”

Heading towards the end, the man continues. “The fourth trio between the lower ranks are… HWANG YEJI, KANG DANIEL, and PARK JINYOUNG.” Jisub looks over at their direction. “You performed your own version of your chosen song. It felt like you were trying to split it into different sections to highlight each one of you but not everyone really got the attention that they wanted. It also feels like one of you had their strength turned into a disadvantage. Still, only one of you will go home. This person is… PARK JINYOUNG. This may be your second elimination but you made it further than most. We hope you keep pursuing your dreams even after this.”

To bring an end to it all, Tiger JK is next to pick his microphone. “There are only three teams left, and only one of you will be losing someone today. The last trio between the lower ranks are… LEE SUWOONG, NA JAEMIN, and SHIN RYUJIN. As entertaining as it was, a performance must be more than that. You had the story elements and even the special surprise at the end, but you still landed just below the cut mark. You certainly picked a very strong song. The problem here is that you tried reaching that level of excitement and not exactly all of your skills followed along with that. And the last person to leave us today is… NA JAEMIN. Keep up with your hard work.”

With eliminations finally coming to an end, the rest of the contestants clap. Except, instead of the CEOs changing things around to announce the next challenge, Tiger JK continues to speak. “We’ve now reached our last 25 contestants of this season. On the first episode we had 100 hopefuls wishing for a spot on this show, and, before that, we had thousands of people signing up for auditions. Next week will be the semi-finals and, this time, we weren’t the ones to show who was paired with who.” The man looks to the side and Baek Jiyoung takes her own microphone at the end of the table.

“As we walk towards the end of the competition, we asked for some help from a few people you’ll probably recognize. If you’ll please take a look,” the woman points forward to the stage. It is empty now but, suddenly, the set starts to do something most didn’t even know it had the ability to do. The screen at the end of the stage parts in two and the floor is taken over by dry ice, raising the expectation by each second that passes. Whether curious eyes managed to figure out who the three figures are in between all that smoke or not, the woman makes sure to introduce them to the public. “From Sphere Entertainment, please welcome CONVEX’s very own JINKI and JINWOOK, as well as our star trainee and winner of the last season of the MGAs, GO HOJUNG!” 

Just like that, the three men reveal themselves from the mystery and make their way towards the center of the stage. As they do so, new shadows appear between the cloud waiting to be announced as well. “From Nova Entertainment,” Hyun Bin starts, “please welcome our future AND*ROMA members SEUNGWAN and SUNMI, as well as our star trainee, LEE SUNGYEOL!” The camera makes sure to capture any interesting reaction from the contestants.

“From TRC Entertainment,” Tiger JK continues, “please welcome our K.ARMA’s DOYEON and SANA along with our star trainee, JUNG JINSOUL!” The three girls reveal themselves from the smoke and join the others on the stage, leaving a space in the middle for whoever appears next to have the clear passageway.

The one next proceeds with introductions. “From KT Entertainment,” Katie Lee says, “please welcome our ECLIPSE’s dearest HASEUL and MINJI, as well as our star trainee, LEE LUDA!” Another three girls make their way forward to the center, a continues round of surprises.

“From Royal Entertainment,” So Jisub brings the final addition, “please welcome these members of LUXE, CHERI, and ELLA, as well as our star trainee, JEON WONWOO!” These are the final trios to take the stage, although they aren’t there to compete.

To explain the situation a bit better, Baek Jiyoung is the one who adds to her previous words. “You’re all probably very surprised by the presence of these idols and trainees here. Just like you, all of them took part in the MGAs before. Not all of them won, and not all of them made it to the finals, but they still managed to debut or get signed under one of our companies. With their experience both as past contestants and as trained performers, these people in front of you will be this season’s coaches.”

There’s a clear smile on her face as she nods at those on stage. “This year, there won’t be only one winner but, instead, a team. The coaches before you are here representing their company and each took a vote on who they thought would best fit its image. Based on that, five new groups were formed with five contestants each. Since next week will be our semi-finals and with the help of these talented coaches, we hope to see some next-level performances.”

To see all the of this season’s contestants, click here!

And now, let’s see what’s in store for our sixth episode and semi-finale!

With the revelation of this season’s coaches comes the revelation of the next challenge. Each coach was told to vote for who they thought fit the image of the company they’re in and, from these votes, groups of five were properly arranged. All people involved should show at least two of their performance skills, one of them being dancing. The theme is to not only impress but to prepare a stage that fits the image of the company they were assigned under. This may differ from the image a contestant may have had of themselves. All groups are told to come up with a name of their own. A list of the groups can be found below:

SPHERE ENTERTAINMENT — Coaches: Jinki, Jinwook, Go Hojung #5006 - CHWE HANSOL #5017 - KANG DANIEL #5033 - MIYAWAKI SAKURA #5035 - NAM JOOHYUK #5038 - PARK WOOJIN

NOVA ENTERTAINMENT — Coaches: Lee Sunmi, Son Seungwan, Lee Sungyeol #5004 - CHOI YEWON #5025 - KIM SEUNGHUN #5039 - SEO CHANGBIN #5045 - TAKADA KENTA #5046 - WANG JACKSON

TRC ENTERTAINMENT — Coaches: Doyeon, Sana, Jung Jinsoul #5002 - CHOI MINHO #5011 - HWANG YEJI #5018 - KANG HYUNGGU #5028 - LEE CHAERYEONG #5040 - SHIN RYUJIN

KT ENTERTAINMENT — Coaches: Haseul, Minji, Lee Luda #5014 - JO YURI #5026 - SIA KIM #5030 - LEE NAKYUNG #5047 - WONG YUKHEI #5050 - ZHOU JIEQIONG

ROYAL ENTERTAINMENT — Coaches: Cheri, Ella, Jeon Wonwoo #5007 - DO KYUNGSOO #5013 - JEON HEEJIN #5020 - KIM HYOJIN #5032 - LEE SUWOONG #5042 - SOHN YOUNGJAE

By the end of the next episode, one member from each group will be eliminated. This means that even if your entire performance is considered sub-par, only the contestant who was considered as having the weakest performance will be eliminated. 

Just like the previous episode, the contestants will be recorded during their preparation time. The five companies prepared one of their practice rooms with cameras and will allow their group to practice inside with free use of the high-tech equipment available in it. On the first day of training on Friday, the 26th, the coaches will visit their practice room to help the contestants decide on songs and give them some tips on not only their past experiences in the MGAs but also as performers. Additional meetings may be arranged if needed and if it doesn’t conflict with anyone’s schedules.

All contestants are supposed to make their own way to the recording studio prepared specially for this episode. Unlike previous episodes, this time contestants will have to perform a stage in front of a live audience of 1500 people. To help with this, the episode will be hosted by the MC Hong Jinwoo. They’ll have to go to a different set this time and it’ll look a bit like this. The bigger stage will allow for bigger props if needed, and these should be checked with the staff beforehand for them to prepare it. The groups will get to prepare themselves backstage and, this time around will have to wait there while the other groups perform. A room with a TV is available for those who’d like to watch the groups performing. Just because most eyes will be on the performance doesn’t mean no one will be paying attention to you. A set of cameras will have their lenses ready to capture any sort of interesting reaction from those watching backstage (beware of the evil editing).

Sitting between the stage and the public with their much more comfortable chairs are the CEOs of each big company. They’ll make sure only the most captivating contestants will continue their journey to make this the best season yet and continue to represent their companies.

                          Tune in next Saturday, the 3rd, for our sixth episode!

MGA Season 5 episode six preview: Idols and trainees have been revealed as this season’s coaches and the remaining contestants are now assigned to the five companies. Will they manage to do a good job of keeping up with their image? How will the coaches help the contestants? Tune in next time to find out!

[ All of the performances were aired in their entirety. Cuts from the show itself were uploaded to Mnets’s Official Youtube Channel. ]

If you made it this far, either if you were eliminated on this episode or not, you may add +3 POINTS IN A PERFORMANCE SKILL to your points tally. Make sure to link back to this post for verification.

Contestants have until midnight EST at the end of Friday, the 2nd, to post their 200+ words solos about the groups challenge in front of the CEOs. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga5 and #rkmga5groups. They’ll have less than four minutes to perform their chosen performance to prove their worth to make it to the final (as long as it doesn’t break any laws). Good luck! Song choices should be submitted to the rkevent inbox. Two groups performing the same song will not be allowed and this will be chosen on a first come first serve basis. Any group chats made for plotting should include both Mod Bianca (luvseungjoon on twitter) and Mod Gab (jindeukii on twitter) for monitoring.

After the last performance is done, the CEOs will leave to discuss their thoughts privately. While this happens, the contestants will be taken one by one into a small room to be interviewed on their thoughts of the current state of things and all the live audience will be told to leave the set. The contestants will be asked a variety of questions and some may be included in the list found below! Feel free to come up with your own questions if you think they can be fitting.

What did you think of the results last week?

What did you think when the coaches first appeared?

How was it like working with your group?

How was it like working with the coaches?

How do you think you did?

Were there any performances you liked?

Were there any performances you didn’t like?

What did you think of ___’s performance?

Which group do you represented their company the best?

Was there anyone you think that brought their group down?

Is there anyone you are certain will move onto the next phase of the MGAs?

Is there anyone you are certain will be eliminated today?

Once they’re done, they’ll be taken back to their waiting area to wait, or may go to the bathroom if needed.

You may also write an extra 200+ words solo about your muse’s interview, as explained above, to also be posted until midnight EST at the end of Friday, the 2nd. For doing so, you may earn +2 CHARISMA OR CREATIVITY POINTS and these can be added to your points tally as soon as it is posted. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga5 and #rkmga5groups. Please link this post as verification.

COACHES! If you write one 200+ words solo about your muse’s time spent interacting with the contestants you may earn +3 CHARISMA OR CREATIVITY POINTS. You’ll also have until midnight EST at the end of Friday, the 2nd, to post your solos. These can be added to your points tally as soon as it is posted. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga5 and #rkmga5groups. Please link this post as verification.

For an additional +2 CHARISMA OR CREATIVITY POINTS, you may also write an extra 200+ words solo about your muse’s interview. These would take place after or in between their time spent together on the 26th. Coaches will be taken to a separate practice room where a mini-interview-set has been prepared for recording. Questions will mostly be about their thoughts on the contestants and how the performance preparations are going, as well as their expectations for final results. Please post this until midnight EST at the end of Friday, the 2nd, to collect points. These can be added to your points tally as soon as it is posted. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga5 and #rkmga5groups. Please link this post as verification.

If the coaches write their solos or not will not impact the results of the groups. More information about muses joining the live audience will come in a separate post.

#rkmga5 #rkmga5trios