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#there's gonna be FIVE pizzas and they're gonna be HUGE
classyrbf · 2 years
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TWO WORLDS CH 3!
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Eddie Munson x fem reader
warnings: stranger things 4 spoilers, gore, guns, knives, violence, blood, talks of trauma, death
being classmates with Eddie Munson occasionally lead to him to him copying off of your homework or having the teacher pair you two up for a project because you’d set a “good example” which only forced you two to become acquaintances. But wat happens when a freaked out Eddie comes banging on your door at night?
Two Worlds Masterlist!
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"Wait did you get the chips he wanted?" Dustin glanced up at you while looking through the bag full of snacks you guys had gotten for Eddie. "Yeah, they should be in there!" You snatch the bag from him, digging through the bag. "Don't make a mess in my car please!" Steve looked at you through the rearview mirror. "No one's gonna make a mess." You spoke, pushing past the variety of candy. "Yeah, Steve," Dustin looked at him, "we're not five." Dustin said with a scowl.
"You sure do act five." Steve mumbled. "I found them!" You threw the bag of chips at Dustin causing him o fumble with the bag as he tried to catch it. Steve slowed down the car, taking the key out of the ignition as you stopped in front of Reefer Rick's house. "Let's go." Steve stepped out of the car. You grabbed two bags full of snacks, Dustin and Max grabbing one each. You shut the car door behind you as you followed Steve down the small hill to the boathouse.
"It's kinda quiet. Do you think the cops found him?" Robin quietly asked, looking at you. "He's probably still hiding under that stupid tarp." You chuckle. "Oh yeah, the tarp Steve was so afraid of." Dustin smiled, holding back his laugh. "Listen, something dangerous could've been in there." Steve stuck true to his word, pushing open the door to the boathouse. "Woah!" Steve placed his hands up in defense as you all entered the boathouse.
Eddie was tucked into a corner, holding the broken bottle out. Everyone gave him a small wave. "It's just us." You reassured him. "Jesus," he sighed, "you can't just barge in like that." He slowly let down the bottle. You walked over to him first, handing him his back of snacks and candy. Max and Dustin did the same, stepping back from him. "I'm starving." He grabbed a bag of chips, ripped it open, and immediately stuffed his face. "If you were that hungry we could have gotten you some real food to eat."
Eddie shook his head, repositioning himself near the edge of the boat, sitting on it, "I'll eat whatever at this point." He chewed loudly, stuffing more food into his face. "So, junk food was your first choice? Nothing from a diner or a pizza house?" You shrug, a hint of sarcasm in your voice. "Listen, there are more important things going on right now." Dustin interrupted the two of you. You rolled your eyes, tip-toeing your way back over to where Robin was standing. Dustin grabbed a free stool, pulling it under him as he sat down. Eddie watched him as he continued to stuff his face full of sugar and salt.
"So," Dustin clasped his hands together, forcing himself to look at Eddie, "we have some good news and some bad news. Which one would you like to hear first?" Dustin slightly leaned forward. Eddie opened a bottle of coke, taking a huge sip to wash all his food down before answering, "bad news. Always." Eddie wiped the crumbs off of his mouth with the back of his leather jacket. "So, bad news, we tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they're looking for you. Also, they definitely think you murdered Chrissy." Dustin said bluntly but tried to lay it on Eddie as soft as possible. "Yeah, like, one hundred percent." Max added. Eddie's expression dropped, his eyes softening as he took the news.
"And the good news?" Eddie looked at Dustin, slight concern on his face. "Your name hasn't gone public yet. But if we found out about you, it's only a matter of time before others do and that obviously won't lead to good things. Everyone and their mom will come looking for you." Robin explained, looking at Eddie. You could tell Eddie was on the verge of freaking out, panic was written all over his face even if he tries desperately to hide it in front of everyone. "Hunt the freak, right?" Eddie said, his voice shaking as he shared looks with everyone in the boathouse.
"But, before that happens," you started, "we have to find this Vecna guy, kill him, and then, boom, you'll be proven innocent." You said with a smile, trying to break the tension. "Yeah," Dustin gestured to you, "what y/n said." He nodded. "That's all, y/n? That's all?" Eddie asked, blinking at you. "Yeah. That's pretty much it. I mean, unless you have another way of proving your innocence, feel free to share with the class." You said in a high-pitched tone. Eddie turned away, a disappointed smile on his face.
"Eddie, listen, I know everything y/n is saying sounds ridiculous right now, but we've actually been through this stuff before," Robin looked at you. "Except for y/n. And I have been once. The others," Robin pointed as Max, Steve, and Dustin, "have been through it multiple times. Mine was kind of more of a human experience and there's was otherworldly creature related, but, overall, I really feel like we have this in the bag." Robin said with confidence. Eddie looked at her as if she was insane, trying to process every piece of information that was said.
"Yeah, we usually rely on this girl that has superpowers but those went kaput-bye-bye. So uh-" Steve folded his arms across his chest. "So we're basically in the-" Robin began. "Brainstorming phase." Max looked up at Robin. "Yeah! Brainstorming!" Steve agreed. "Wait, so all of you knew about this?" Eddie looked at everyone in disbelief. "No, no, not me. I honestly just learned a couple of days ago when trying to find you. Still trying to wrap my head around it but, yeah." You shrugged. "There's nothing to worry... about." Dustin tried to comfort Eddie. "Yeah." Steve agreed, nodding his head. Dustin looked at Steve nodding his head in agreement as well. Eddie looked at the two with raised brows, not even a little bit convinced everything was going to be fine.
Silence filled the room when sudden police sirens could be heard in the distance, approaching Reefer Rick's house quickly. "Shit. Shit!" Steve panicked. "Tarp! Tarp!" You ran over to Eddie. He immediately laid down, hugging his food close to him as you grabbed the tarp, tossing it over him. All you ran towards the window as the police sirens got closer, only for the cop cars and an ambulance to pass by. "What the hell is going on?" You mumbled as you watched at least five cars speed by. "Wanna go check it out?" Steve asked, looking at all of you. "Well, someone has to stay here with Eddie." Dustin added. His eyes slowly landed on you, "y/n" He pointed. "No! No!" You argued.
"You're the most responsible and smartest out of all of us. If it's anyone that knows how to keep Eddie out of trouble it's you," Dustin gave you a complimentary pat on the shoulder before he decided to follow the others. "Wait!" He stooped in his tracks, pulling out a walkie, "use this if you need to contact us, alright?" He handed it to you before running off with the others to follow the herd of police cars.
Max quickly turned back, running back towards the boathouse, "forgot my bag." She squeezed past you. Your brows furrowed as you noticed blood coming out of her nose. "Max, your nose." You warned her. "Huh?" Her fingers touched the red liquid, her eyes widening. "It's alright," you grabbed a clean rag out of your pocket, handing it to her, "I get them too sometimes." You chuckled. "Is that why you're carrying this around?" She looked at the rag before using it to wipe her nose. "Yes, but I promise it's clean. Plus, it's for yesterday when you gave me medicine for my headache." You smiled at her. "Right. Thanks." You quickly walked out of the boathouse, following the others.
"Son of a bitch." You whispered, closing the door to the boathouse carefully. "Is it okay to come out?" Eddie asked, his voice muffled from being under the tarp. "Yes. Munson." You sighed, the wood creaking under your feet as you reached the boat, pulling the blue tarp from over him. Eddie quickly sat up, "where did the others go?" He looked around, watching as you sat on the stool Dustin was previously sat on. "To check out where the cops were going," You looked down at the walkie in your hand before looking at Eddie. "Here," you tossed the walkie onto his lap. "You'll need it more than I do."
Eddie looked down at the walkie, wiping his hands on his black jeans. "Thanks." He grabbed the walkie. "Do you just sit under this tarp all day?" You stood up, walking around the boathouse, kicking at the food wrappers on the floor. "Well, what else is there to do when the police think you've murdered someone." Eddie scoffed. "Right. Sorry." You looked back at him with pursed lips. Your hands reached up at the random tools on the wall, grabbing and touching them out of boredom. "So, wanna tell me why you decided to hide at your dealers' house and leave without saying a word to me?" You asked not turning to look at him.
Eddie was almost surprised by your question, watching you carefully as you walked around the place. "Didn't think your first reaction to me being a murder suspect was to help me so I had to hit the road while I still had a chance." Eddie took a swig of soda, placing the can down on the floor. "Understandable. But still, you had me worried shitless that night." You admitted, turning around and walking back to the stool. Eddie just blinked, unsure of what to say. "And don't let that get to your head, please." You flicked his forehead, causing him to flinch. "I can't believe I had the y/n worried about me." Eddie teased.
"Yeah and if you pull some shit like that again once this is all figured out, I'll slam the door in the face next time." You gave him a sweet smile before holding your hand out. Eddie looked down at your hand in confusion. "Care to share? I didn't have breakfast this morning." You looked at him. "Oh." He quickly dumped some chips into your hand, holding his hand under yours to catch the crumbs. "Thank you." You smiled, placing a chip into your mouth. "You know, this is like the first time we're actually having a normal conversation with each other."
You nodded your head, "most of the time you're annoying me." You squinted your eyes, giving him a look. "It's only cause I don't wanna work on those boring projects. But you," Eddie glanced up at you as he placed the bag of chips onto the floor, "you do it so effortlessly and it ends up saving my ass. You end up saving my ass." Eddie admitted. "Yeah, Dustin told me you're always mentioning me saving your ass. It's quite nice to know that you do appreciate me in some way, Munson." You smirk at him, placing another chip in your mouth.
He lets out a small laugh, looking away from you. "Just like you saved my ass that night too," His tone changed as he looked at you. "Why'd you let me in?"He asked, his tone serious. "I don't know," You shrugged. "Like I said, I was worried. I didn't know if you were hurt or something. Plus, that night, you weren't acting like the Eddie I know which told me something definitely wasn't right." You ate another chip. Eddie slowly nodded his head, clasping his hands together. "That day after school, I saw you and Chrissy walking out of the woods together," Eddie looked at you, "to be honest, it shocked me," you dusted your hands off, leaning forward towards Eddie. "To see the freak of the school walking out the woods with Chrissy Cunningham was a sight I'd never thought I see in a million years."
"She was a lot different than I'd thought she'd be." Eddie admitted. "What do you mean?" You asked. "I knew her in middle school," Eddie adjusted in his seat, "and when I mentioned that to her, s-she remembered the name of my band. She was...nice." Eddie looked at you. You could sense he was feeling some type of guilt in all of this, his eyes never making eye contact with yours. "What were you guys doing?" You asked out of curiosity. "She just wanted to buy some drugs. And that night, I brought her to my trailer to give her something...stronger per her request. That's when I found her," Eddie slowly turned his head to look at you, his brows furrowing. "Y/n, your nose...it's bleeding." Eddie blinked.
You quickly straightened up in your seat, your fingertip coming in contact with the blood dripping from your nose. As you reached for the rag in your back pocket, you realized you had given it to Max earlier, "shit." You mumbled, turning away from Eddie. "Hey, you okay?" Eddie sat up, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Yeah, don't worry it's just a nosebleed." You wave him off, using your sleeve to wipe off the blood. "Does that happen often?" Eddie asked, now standing in front of you. "It just started a few days ago. I've just been overworking myself that's all." You sniffed, continuing to wipe away at your nose, slightly embarrassed.
"Did you tell your parents? Maybe they can take you to a doctor?" Eddie suggested. "Yeah, like they would actually give a shit and find the time out of their busy lives to do that," you scoff. "Sorry," You turn away from him once more. "I promise I'm fine." Eddie took your word for it, but was still slightly worried, "maybe you should clean up." He looked at you. "But, you can't leave the boathouse." You responded. "I know, but it's not like anyone comes out here anyway." Eddie grabbed the fabric of your sweater, pulling you towards the window, poking his head to see if anyone was around. "I think we're okay." You glanced at him, pulling your arm away as you opened the door, walking towards the back of the house.
"Wait up." Eddie walked beside you, frantically looking around him as you walked up to the backdoor. You turned the knob, only for it to be locked. Obviously. "Great." You rolled your eyes. "I have a little trick up my sleeve, don't you worry." Eddie reached into the potted plant beside the door, pulling out a gold key. "Your dealer leaves his spare key outside?" You chuckled as Eddie opened the door. "Don't ask me." He grunted, pushing open the door, allowing you inside first. The house smelled stale like no one had been living in it for months. "Welcome!" Eddie through his hands up in the air with a smile, slamming the door shut with his foot.
"Idiot." You rolled your eyes, walking to the kitchen sink, turning it on. You cupped water in your hands, bringing it to your nose in hopes it'll wash the blood away quickly. "Here." Eddie tossed a rag at you, smirking as it hit your head. "At least give me a heads up!" You said in annoyance, grabbing the rag off the counter, and wetting it under the sink. You wiped your nose, turning to Eddie.
He leaned against the counter, watching you. "Did I get all of it?" You asked, tilting your head up. "Mmm," Eddie squinted his eyes as he inspected your nose, his handing tilting your chin up a little higher, "let me see," he reached for the rag. He gently wiped away the blood, "there."
Eddie placed the rag on the counter, his eyes still staring into yours, "thanks." You mumbled, pulling away from him. "Yeah, no problem." He cleared his throat. "I think we should head back to the boathouse." You walked past him, heading for the backdoor. Eddie followed behind you,
━━━━━
Max, Steve, and Dustin searched through the school counselor's file drawer, pulling out Chrissy's file. "Do you think we'll really find something in here about Vecna?" Steve asked, shining his flashlight on Max. "I saw Chrissy walking out of here the day she died. She must have said something to Ms. Kelly." Max placed the file down on the desk, shining her flashlight on the page. "What exactly are we supposed to be looking for?" Steve asked.
"I don't know." Max spoke, reading Chrissy's file. "Well, whatever Nancy and Robin find out at the library, hopefully, it connects with Chrissy and Fred." Steve added. "We're gonna need to fill y/n and Eddie in on everything once we get back." Dustin sighed. Max's eyebrows knitted together as she read the writing on the page.
-Reoccurring headaches
-Nosebleeds
-Nightmares
-Lack of sleep
Max quickly read over every one of the words written down on the paper, all of them seeming too familiar to her liking. Her breathing quickened and her mind raced. "Max?" Dustin called out to her, watching as she just sat there. "Hey, Max!" Dustin shined the flashlight on her. She just sat there, staring into space. "Max, hey!" Dustin shook her. Max jumped at the sudden contact, looking at Steve and Dustin. "You okay?" Steve asked. "Did you guys not hear that?" Max asked, looking at both of them.
"Hear what?" Dustin asked. Max immediately got up from her seat, running down towards the hall. "Where are you going?!" Steve yelled, both of them running after her. "Guys!" Robin yelled, running down the hall with Nancy. Max stopped at the end of the hallway, pointing her flashlight at the wall, "I saw a clock. An old grandfather clock. It was right here." Max insisted as the others listened. "You saw a clock?" Nancy asked. "It was so real," Max breathed out. "And when I got closer, I just suddenly woke up." She looked at the wall. "It was like she was in a trance. Exactly what Eddie said happened to Chrissy." Dustin added.
"That's not the worst part." Max shook her head. She walked between the group, heading back to Ms. Kelly's office, the others following behind her quickly. She swiped Chrissy's file off of the desk, "Chrissy came to Ms. Kelly for help. She was having headaches, like bad headaches that wouldn't go away, nosebleeds, nightmares, trouble sleeping, and then they started seeing things." Max explained, recalling each and everything that happened to her. Robin grabbed Chrissy's file from Max, looking over the notes Ms. Kelly took. "And you were having all of this?" Nancy asked, looking up at her. Max nodded. "What about Fred?" Nancy asked. "I didn't check."
Nancy immediately opened the file cabinet, hoping to find anything on Fred, her manager for the school newspaper, who was found dead this morning in the middle of the road. His bones were snapped in an inhuman way his eyes were torn out of their sockets. Just like Chrissy. "He was seeing her too." Nancy placed his file on the desk, opening it up. "Was he having the same symptoms?" Dustin asked. Nancy skimmed the notes, stopping after a few seconds, "the exact same ones." She looked at the others.
Everyone turned to look at Max, noticing her skin was pale, her eyes wide. "Max, what's wrong?" Dustin asked. Max looked up at him slowly, "y/n." She spoke, her voice was subtle. "What?" Robin asked. "The other day, she said she had a headache and I gave her some medicine from my bag. And then today, my nose started bleeding in the boathouse, and y/n told me she gets them too," Max said, her voice barely audible.
"Chrissy's headaches started a week ago. Mine, five days ago. I don't know how long y/n has been having them, but neither of us has much time, especially after I just saw that goddamn clock." Max said with tears in her eyes. Robin's eyes widened. Steve and Nancy looked at each other in disbelief. "Call y/n on the walkie now!" Steve yelled. "Shit! Shit!" Dustin yelled, fumbling with his bag as he pulled out his walkie.
"Y/n this is Dustin, we have a code red! Do you copy?!"
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liveblog: yugioh! s301-310
season three!!! we're still doing the battle city tournament - we've in the finals! kaiba, yugi, joey, and marik are the semi-finalists. they're currently on kaiba's blimp on their way to kaiba's island to finish off the tourny
ep301
we have a new opening! and tristen and tea have duel disks in it
oh so some new person thinks that kaiba has stolen from him
oh so bakura lost to marik in those two episodes i couldn't watch
if the autopilot isn't respondong maybe... turn to manual???
this is actually why airplanes have manual overrides
and why any technology should have manual overrides
kaiba corp used to belong to kaiba's stepfather and the stepfather used to make military weapons
talk about a 180
noah is th enew antagonist
"it's huge! and it's still growing!" -eyes emoji-
what the hell are these names haha
so the five board members were the same ones who tried to trap kaiba in the virtual pod system like a season ago
i honestly forgot about them
but apparently their minds are still trapped in the cyberworld and they want to get back to the real world via the use of the MCs bodies, because they've lost their own byt the point
so now the MCs are in a vicrtual world and they're going to be dueling with new rules!
so we're about to have a tourny within a tourny!
so the nwe rule involves having a deck master, and the deck master has their own special effects, and if the deck master is destroyed, then do is the dueler, regardless of life points
ep302
"your chances of escape are 0%, and falling sharply"
trying out a new perfume and, hell yeah this is nice
okay but did any of th ebig finve think abotu wht life would be like as a girl
oh they have to build a new deck
good old dark magician!
hm, so they can have a new deck for each duel? that would be fun
stop kuribih is cute
yami dead chose like six cards how does he have a whole deck
um "obnoxious" celtic guardian? since when has he been "obnoxious?"
ep303
kaiba used to call mokuba "moki"
so, the stepfather, gozuboro, was challenged by kaiba at theorphanage to adopt seto and mokuba if seto won the chess match
so that's the origina of kaiba
i'll rarely call him seto. seto's name is kaiba, period
look my guy dont talk shit abput kuriboh becaus kuriboh's that card that actually comes in clutch
tea is in the middle of a hentai plot
ep304
hm so if your deck master gets involved in the actual duel, then it automatically becomes part of the playing field
"you expect to win with rainbows and fuzzballs?"
dark magician girl <3
there was a broadway play about the dark magician girl????????
so tea is gonna duel a member of the big 5 and i can't wait to see how that works out especailly since tea doesn't duel competitively
she's current;y following a penguin
there are a ton of penguins
ohymgooooddd
"i'm about to put the freeze on you"
stop ohmygod
but please lean into this
tea is gonna duel the ex-accountant of kaiba corp
tea's eaten 216 slices of pizza
dark magician girl <3
krump
ohmygod
krump's fascinationwith penguns is the fact that penguin parents sit on the egg, and he go attached to this because his parents were never around haha
yo this dude wanted an all-penguin petting zoo, and seto shot him down - understandably
ep306
yo who the fuck is this ugly ass butler
backgammon isn't a game that'll waste your brain thought?
stop mokuba was so cute to have drawn a blue eyes white dragon for kaiba
um, so is noah gozuboro's real son?
okay but that ladybug that can defeat 4* cards is actually cool
the impenetrable iceberg absolutely look like it lives up to its name
ad it has almost 2500 DEF which, even with the 4000 LP, is still ridiculous
dark magician <3
so tea defeated the accountant penguin
watching the ending credits and did i see dark!exodia???
ep307
i'm tired so i should go to bed but no
for shits and giggles i'm looking up ygo fic on ao3
and there are 5 fics that have the dark magician/blue eyes white dragon tag
i am going to read all five of them
what's hysterical is that joey dueling the ex-lawyer is a funny match up beause, sure, lawyer-dude can talk circles around joey but, joey is also .. so simple that it's a wasted maneuver
though i do like the idea of dueling in a courtroom
so, i hope we have a member of the big 5 that does not become his own deck master
also, if the flame swordsman special ability...
hm, so what happens when the flamesswordsman, as the deck master, doesn't have any more ATK points after having given them away
tea and yugi have met up with joey
kaiba: mokuba calm down if you get upset you're letting noah win
kaiba: starts yelling at noah
"hey, tea, as far as pep talks go, this is not your best work"
gozuboro has been missnig ofr 5yrs
3300 ATK points sexy
"i once convinced a jury that a man who was terrified of water stole a boat!"
i need this dude as my lawyer shit
ep309
so it's time for duke, tristan, and serenity to duel the ex-cheif of technology
tristan's boasting about having taught joey everythign he knows is gonna come back to bite him in the ass i'm sure
and it already has because serenity's all like "wow tristan you can help me duel since you know so much!" and duke's like "what?!?!"
duke was right about how he's the ost experienced duelist between the three of them
I WANNA SEE MORE DUNGEON DICE MONSTERS!!!!
the magic card "clockwork knight" transforms opponent monsters to turn into machines, turned opponent monsters also lose 500 ATK points; it also allows the monster Machine King to gain 500 ATK points
so now that tristan's lost all his life points, he told serenity that he's actually not a great duelist
ep310
"a dice dungeon magic card?"
i'm sorry these are dueling cards???????????????
ohmygod thank you the ygo gods heard my pleas for more dungeon dice games
it is amazing how long these turns can go on for
oh shit 5000 ATK points
oh wow ex-tech chief put himself in play!!
oh wow st. joan [of arc] is a card that exists
extec chief said that any taalk of strategy is a no-no but everybody's done nothing but talk and help each other with strategy this whole game
also hand seals!!
they won the duel but ex-tech chief won tristan's body and now tristan's mind is trapped in a (virtual) robot monkey
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mego42 · 3 years
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a birthday rec post!
for @foxmagpie​’s birthday i’m celebrating her beautiful brain with five of my fav of her fics. If you haven’t checked them out i highkey recommend you fix your lives post-haste bc like my taste in people, my taste in fic is impeccable (though i am open to counterarguments if you guys have others you want to add on).
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Snapshots: Photobooth
gOD this fic is so cUTE
i say fic but it’s tech an anthology of delinquents future snippets and this is just one chapter and while i’m here i heartily rec all of it
truly a galaxy brain concept on megan’s part, she’s tormenting us with a(n exquisite) slow burn in delinquents but also giving us the goods so we know what to look forward to
i love having my cake and eating it too, is what i’m saying
especially when the cake is as sweet and delightful as this one
look it’s a really neat trick to be able to write rio as a giddy sap of a teenage!! person and still have it feel totally in line with his adult canon self somehow idk how she does it but i’m so glad she does
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Subjunctive
i’m gonna start us off by promising you guys i think about this fic an extremely normal amount
i also want to disclaim that i know beth gaming a douchebag named parker in a bar isn’t an homage to buffy bc megan’s refusal to watch is a source of endless torment BUT no one can stop me from taking it as one
anyway
i think one of the things that gets me with this fic is how neatly and efficiently it weaves in beth and rio’s (brief) history with the exact right amount of pining that i’m fully on board and rooting for them to get together not just hook up but it doesn’t take away from the bouncy, light, fun feel of the fic
plus oh my goD is it sexy
now elizabeth
who gave you the right????????????
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Missed Call
the way this fic stresses me out
weird opening to a rec, i know but hear me out: the mounting tension is a perfectly paced build that sets up the culmination to hit like a hammer
it’s also a really excellent study in how isolating fear and stress can be and how even the most well-intentioned comfort can be the least comforting thing in the world and idk maybe that’s a weird thing to rec about it too but i think that’s so real and messy and i love how the discordant note of it plays into the tension
i know it’s not meant to be but it plays as an excellent counterpart to back to our cocoon which is only not on this list bc i made the stupid ass decision to stick to five but you should def consider that recced as well
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I Will Collect and Capture You
look if you haven’t read this fic yet idk what to tell you
i really wanted to stick with stuff i hadn’t recced a bunch before but i love this one too much to leave it off but since i’ve yelled about it a bunch already i’ll be brief
while it is technically a wip, each chapter feels like a complete standalone arc so if you’ve been sitting on this one, stop making bad choices
features peak brio mess and jealousy and a metric fuckton of angst, but also weaves in some tenderness and humor and a hefty amount of god tier smut
truly this fic has it all
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Crush
THE WAY I LOVE THIS FIC
look, i am not usually an OC person when it comes to fic, i’m here for what i’m here for, you know? but mar and elena are apparently the exception to that rule
it’s also a testament to how rich and in-depth the delinquents verse is that it can support such a built out, fully realized side-quest style fic for two characters who, while fairly close to the central plot, aren’t remotely the focus of it
also i know this fic is all about mar and elena getting together and do not get me wrong, they are the absolute cutest and everything about their story makes me scream, the part of this fic that really makes my heart go haywire is the mar and rio of it all
idk precisely why but i am ridiculously invested in rio having bffs on ruby and annie’s level and gOD does the relationship with mar megan’s crafted deliver on that like whoa
everything about their relationship from the literal reality of it to the way that rio’s an indelible part of mar’s mental landscape is pitch perfect and so, so precious to me
(and LOOK i KNOW that is not LITERALLY THE YEARBOOK DRAWING i am AWARE it should be a DUGOUT i TRIED MY BEST)
ily babe, i hope you have an amazing day 💖
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katsukikitten · 2 years
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But this is life. This isn't a movie.
Sure it is. Life's all one great big movie. Only you can't pick your genre.
Warnings: Spit, double pen, we're gonna say non con for fucking sure. Spitting, lots of blood here y'all and knife play. Also branding and slapping. If you can't tell this fic is heavily inspired by Scream my all time favorite fucking slasher film
Ghostface Bakugou is here and he's filthy
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"Denks, I just think a huge Halloween bash on Halloween is so lame." You place your hand on your hip as your best friend preps the Airbnb he rented for the 'party of the century'.
"Is it because you don't have a date?" He laughs, looking you up and down, "Or is it because you don't have a good costume?"
You roll your eyes, gripping at the opening of your jean jacket that sits over top of a light lavender shirt.
"Hey, I'm dressed as one of the few people who actually survived the horror movie!" You huff, eyes roving over the kegs and handles he preps for tonight.
"And I'm Dracula! The movies are about me!" He points to his fangs you helped him glue on this morning. He begged you to stay the whole three nights he rented this place. He said it wasn't because he was scared or anything but you knew the truth. He was scared. The large home felt like a manor, tucked away a few miles into the woods and a few miles from the nearest neighbor.
It definitely looked like something out of a horror movie making it the perfect setting for the party that started in an hour or two. But thankfully it wasn't more than a ten minute drive outside of town. Which would make beer run and the pizza delivery easier.
"Yea, maybe in the 80s vampires were scary. Now they're sexy. You should have gone as…"
"Don't!" Denki shouts, giving you a glare. You smile wickedly.
"Oh, Twilight won't be on the big screen tonight?" He rolls his eyes.
"No, only the classics!" He says pointing to the pile of DVDs that sat on the counter.
"And you brought Scream?"
"Ugh, Keep your panties on, Sidney. Billy will be here tonight." He teases, calling you by the name of the character you're paying homage to.
"You think Bakugou will come dressed up as Ghost face?" You bite your lower lip, thinking of your crush.
"Dude I'm sure more than just Bakugou will dress up as Ghost face, between that and Michael Myers, those are a dime a dozen." Denki turns the tap clockwise on the keg, the ice the keg is sitting in crunches from his movements. His golden eyes flicker up to you and your blush.
"What are you 15 again? Aren't y'all dating?"
"Sadly I'm still very much 25." You sigh, fingering your jacket that you've bloodied, catching your reflection in the kitchen window, wondering if the fake blood in your hair was too much, "I think we are, yea?"
"Think?" He says dumping more ice into a large five gallon bucket, then he double fists two handles of vodka to pour in. You come closer, taking one of the many fruit punch juice containers to dump into the tub.
"Yea? I mean we had sex a few times. He calls me his Princess." You feel your face flush.
"Gag me." Denki mutters before teasing, "But you aren't a virgin. There are certain rules you must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie!"
"Don't quote my favorite movie to me or I'll leave you here all alone!" You threaten and he stares at you, his eyes narrowing and just as he's about to say his big comeback a loud bang echoes in the kitchen causing both of you to jump closer to one another. After you settle your panicked heart you gingerly step towards the window overlooking the back patio.
"Careful." Denki says softly and you wave him off. Standing on tiptoes to peer over the window sill to see if anyone is crouching down. Instead you see a small black bird, stunned as it ruffles its feathers.
Thank Kami it hadn't broken it's neck.
"Just a bird." You confirm and Denki breathes out a huge sigh of relief until he jumps from his skin again as the old phone in the house lets out a shrill ring.
Another curious glance between the two of you before you walk towards the living room.
"Probably a crank caller." You comment and Denki swallows.
"Could be Dad. I gave him the number in case he couldn't get in touch with our cells." He pats down himself for his phone now. While you try to swallow down the unease in your throat. Denki always talked about his Dad being yours too, especially since the Kaminaris adopted you when you were a teenager, the tragic backstory you carried didn't help matters. Having an unyielding thirst for all things macabre in order to cope with the untimely, and horrific, death of your parents seemed the opposite of healthy. But you thought if you watched enough of the slasher films you could have ended their story a little differently.
But you didn't and you can't. Here's to hoping you can at least change the ending to your own horror film.
"Hello?" You just catch the call on the last ring, there's silence before a voice comes to life on the other end.
"Hello." It's a man's voice and not Dad's. It's a bit familiar and comes off as sinful velvet. You bite the inside of your cheek, straightening the old phone cord to keep your hands busy.
"I think you have the wrong number." You say flatly, trying to cut this off short.
"Ah, do I? This isn't…" He rattles off a number as you scrunch up your face.
"Couldn't tell ya bud but probably not. Bye now." You hang up, turning on your heel to go back to helping Denki.
RIIIIIIING
The phone screams and you roll your eyes, you knew exactly what was happening. A dumb teenager having just watched the movie Scream was trying the prank call on for size.
"Do you like scary movies?" You beat the caller at their own game, hoping to have stunned him enough to hang up and give up for the night.
Or at least give up on this number.
"Hey," He tuts, his voice dangerously flirty, "That's my line."
"Is it?" You turn around with phone in hand to stare out the french doors to the side patio, the sky streaks in orangey blacks, fitting for the night, "Didn't know we were in a cheesy slasher film."
The man laughs and it's an oddly satisfying sound, the familiarity of it all causes your stomach to twist in knots.
Of excitement or dread, you couldn't be sure.
"Yea, you could say we are. You look pretty ya know." His voice is sanguine, sugared with promise of a good fuck. You scoff but you can't help the flicker of your eyes as you try to see anything in the dark silhouette of the trees.
"Oh yea? I think you mean sound pretty." You flash your tits before adjusting your almost cropped lavender top, trying to prove you weren't scared, even if by some chance some asshole was watching.
But who you were proving it to, you couldn't say. Probably trying to prove it to your own racing heart more than anything else.
"What'd I just do?" He's quiet for a second, as if debating his next move before he ignores the question. Giving you a sense of security, if he could really see into the brightly lit house, surely he would have commented on your tits.
Most random men did even when they weren't exposed.
"What's your favorite scary movie?" He asks, steering the conversation back to the usual script of scream.
"Well, you've stolen some inspiration from it, that's all the hint, I'll give." Denki peeks his head in from the kitchen giving you a puzzled look. You shrug your shoulders before adding, "I gotta go, gotta prepare for this huge party."
If he was sketchy at least he knew you weren't going to be home alone all night. A lot of victims make that mistake.
"Oh yea? Am I invited?" He asks and you let out a surprised scoff, a smirk settling on your face after you tongue your cheek.
"As much as I'd love to see Ghostface in the flesh, this party is invite only." It's the callers turn to scoff back.
"Well maybe I'll just have to find someone with an invite…." He trails off, "Guess I'll see you soon."
This time you openly laugh, the arrogant flirty tone to his voice is maddening.
"Sure, see you then." You drop the receiver high enough that when it lands in the cradle it rattles the base.
"Who was that?" Denki asks, wiggling his eyebrows, "Was it Bakugooooouuu?"
He presses his hands together and flutters his eyelashes at you.
"You're an idiot." You shove Denki, "How would he even have this number? You only gave it to Dad right?
"Oh." Denki scratches the back of his head, "You're right."
"And you're a dumbass. Now let's get the snacks out before our guests string us up from the rafters."
As the sun dips deeper behind the horizon and the moon rises, so do the number of guests pulling into the prestigious drive. Sero, Denki's roommate, comes in first walking as if he were trudging through mud. You were sure it felt like it as he had on at least fifty layers of clothes.
"COULD I HAVE ANYMORE CLOTHES ON?!" Sero announces as Denki comes from the kitchen, his smile quickly fades as he realizes that Sero was copying Denki's favorite character from his favorite sitcom.
"Are those all mine?!" He yells and Sero turns, slowly so Denki can see.
"Yea. Even your underwear." He smiles devilishly and you laugh aloud.
"That's a gamble!" You remember having to share a room with him growing up. Your sanity held together by the simple fact that you had the top bunk, safely away from the clothes that lived on the floor.
"Yea it was a freaking gamble! Thankfully he never empties the dyer." Sero winks, before leaning in to give you a hug, "You doing okay?"
He asks it softly and you squeeze tighter, it has been too long since you visited.
"Yea just super busy with this editing job."
"Well you can't work too much. You'll get sick." He squeezes your bicep gently before moving to get a drink.
"Hey guys!" Jiro announces as she comes in, holding up a rectangular box, "I brought extra beer!"
Her black lips form a sweet smile as she sashays inside with her black and white striped suit.
"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" You chant and she throws you a beer in place of her summons.
Momo and Ochaco come in as a pair. Ochaco is wearing a gorgeous prom dress although she is drenched in 'blood' from head to toe while Momo wears a dirty potato sack dress and her long hair covers her face.
Throngs of people start to pile in over the next couple of hours, bodies sweating as the house music shakes the windows and pictures on the walls. You sit steadfast on the stairs with your eyes glued to the door. You nurse your seventh heavy headed drink before Denki comes up the steps, patting at you knee. Jiro stands by the banister at the bottom of the steps.
"Come on, you can't put the party on hold just cause he isn't here yet. Come down and dance." Denki holds out his hand, just as you're about to take it the front door opens, a large bulking Jason with bright red hair steps in.
"Kirishima!" Mina shouts rushing for him, he pulls up his mask, broad smile on his face dashing your hopes.
"I think I'm gonna…" You start to say that you'll turn in for the night before a dark figure slips in after Kirishima. A tall man in a black cloak with a white mask that's elongated into a screaming ghost's face steps over the threshold. Your heart beats tenfold as the tip of the knife pushes the mask back revealing first a set of plush hard set lips. Then quickly pushing back ash blonde hair showing his forehead. Dark garnet eyes search the room and when they find you he smiles. Denki turns back to you to wiggle his eyebrows before singing as he walks down the steps.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
You don't have long to roll your eyes as Bakugou pushes through the sweating bodies with ease. Bumping shoulders with Denki.
"There's my girl." He says leaning up to kiss you. His tongue passes over your lips before you let him in, grabbing at his cloak as his mask falls to the ground.
"I texted you…" You say softly as he tuts.
"Lost my phone." He pulls away gently, the blade in his hand glinting in the hall light. You go to pull him in, uncaring of the prop in his hands.
"Careful. The knife is real, Princess." Bakugou teases, twisting the tip into your loose jacket, just enough for it to snag but not to hurt you. The potential danger sends a jolt straight to your cunt. You swallow thickly, trying not to let on just how fucking hot your boyfriend, not boyfriend, was dressed up as your favorite psychopath.
"Dressed as Sydney?" He asks cooly, "Guess we were on the same wavelength."
"Yea, guess so." Is all you can say. Only Bakugou could render you a giggling teenager. He leans in to kiss you again, he tastes of alcohol already but even if neither of you had a drop of liquor you'd both still be drunk.
He can't keep his hands off of you, gloved palms creeping up your shirt and when he doesn't find a bra he growls into your mouth.
"Upstairs. Now." You don't argue with his command as you rush up the stairs pulling his hand to guide him to your bedroom. He shoves your jacket from your shoulders before he pulls off his cloak and lets it fall on the hall floor. His mouth glued to yours as you back into the bedroom. He slams the door shut behind him before shoving you onto the bed.
"Fuck, kitten. You look so pretty for me, ya know?" He purrs as he lets his eyes roam over your body. They linger over your chest, nipples poking through the lavender top. He palms himself fully taking you in one last time before he jumps onto the bed. Crawling up your body as his still gloved hands grab at your clothed thighs. He wraps his lips around a stiff peak of your nipple, sucking at it through the fabric as the zipper of his black jeans gives the right amount of friction against your heat.
"Such pretty tits." He palms the other through your shirt, relishing your preening cries from his minimal effort.
Screams carry up the steps, barely heard over the music, they go ignored by both parties. Chalking it up to Halloween pranks. Bakugou continues to bite and suck at you, occasionally coming up to your lips while his hands explore your body. Clothes somehow still on as he dry humps your heat, growling with approval of your body causing you to moan.
Abruptly the music downstairs stops and the screaming grows louder, panicked even.
"Katsuki…" You sigh, eyes flickering to the door.
"Shhh, it's Halloween baby. They're probably watching a scary movie. " He chuckles, kissing up at your neck, palming your tits.
A blood curdling scream echoes up to the two of you followed by feet pounding up the steps. You clutch onto Bakugou, almost freezing as you try to remember where the hell you left your cell phone. Your blood runs cold when you realize it's somewhere downstairs. Desperate hands bang onto the door before it flies open. You and Bakugou jump from the bed. Katsuki pulls you behind him as you both watch Uraraka come through the door. Her bloodied face looks wet compared to the dried blood look she had when she arrived. Panicked as she rushes into the room desperately reaching out for Bakugou. Naturally, Katsuki grabs her wrist and then it all goes in slow motion. A large black mass with a ghost face mask appears at the threshold, knife raising as Bakugou tries to pull Uraraka back while pushing you away.
The knife punctures her back, she coughs up blood onto Bakugou's face, he turns to look at you over his shoulder. Glaring at you, silently begging you to find a way to escape as Uraraka slowly becomes dead weight. Her knees falling from under her as her eyes slowly dull.
A scream catches in your throat, this has to be a fucking prank right? Some bullshit idea Denki cooked up. But the blood looks...looks so real. The faint tang of it wafts over the room reassuring you that this was very much real while Ochaco pales. Bakugou drops Uraraka as kindly as he can before he barely dodges a swing of the dripping knife. The slasher flashes the sharp metal a few more times, strategically blocking the only sensible exit. You glance behind you to the window, rushing towards it as you fling it open pushing the screen out. As you place your foot on the heavily slanted roof, your eyes find Bakugou's. He's looking over his shoulder making sure you're getting away as his muscles strain from locking arms with the assailant.
"Fucking go!" He barks, shoving the mountainous man who rocks on his feet. Bakugou looks away to swing a hefty punch as you slide onto the roof. Converse slipping from the chilled tiles as your breath puffs up in smoke. Navigating your way as best you can, going to the opposite side of the house to the room Denki was staying in, the master. You knew full well Denki would not only have the window unlocked but wide open so he could better blow out the heedy smoke of his blunt. Too chicken to smoke on the porch last night.
Guess he had good enough reason to be scared.
You climb into the window as quietly as you can, placing your foot precariously on the edge of the low dresser. With your feet firmly planted on the ground you look around for a weapon, anything that could maybe make a difference in the fight. You go for the bedside lamp but it is a cheap, light stick with a bulb and lamp shade at the top. This would do nothing to the masked man if Bakugou was struggling to hold him back.
And where the fuck was your cell phone, any bodies fucking phones! The power flickers and you bite your lip to keep from whimpering. At least the land line would still work if the power went out.
Fuck, that's right the god damn land line!
You hear Bakugou cry out as the scuffle continues a few bedrooms down. Rushing towards the stairs you see a body wearing black and white striped clothes. The center stained a deep red as you slowly freeze up. Blood seeps into the hardwood floor as Jiro lies still. There was so much blood that the metallic taste coated your tongue even as you held your breath. With shaking fingers you place your digits beside her mouth and nose. Jumping back when you do not feel breath. Another pained cry comes from the bedroom urging you to move. Slipping down the stairs as you came onto the scene. There were bodies littering the living room floor like dropped flies. Frantically and selfishly you look for a head of electric blonde hair. When you find it you shut your eyes tightly.
You couldn't...you cannot go through this again. Breath catching in your throat, you force your eyes open, seeing Denki's chest rise and fall while he lies next to Sero. You can see slashes in the clothes but no blood on Sero. Maybe his costume saved him, as you gingerly touch him you notice the paleness of his face and the contrasting red at his slashed throat.
This time you openly whimper, fighting back the flashing scenes of your mother lying face down on the bathroom floor. The white tiles washed over in dark splashes of red. You have to force yourself through your ragged breath, you weren't fifteen anymore, you were twenty fucking five. You weren't weak now, you had been working out in order to prevent the past from repeating itself.
Still, Denki's unconscious body was hard to get a hold of, blood making him harder to grip. You could feel two stab wounds as you pulled him into a hiding spot so that you could come back from him later. Thankfully the wounds weren't too deep and you were sure most of the blood covering him was unfortunately a friend's. You shove him against the rough stone of the fireplace. Hiding him in the dark corner between the natural stone and the wall, almost childishly putting his top half under the curtain. Thank God he was skinny, you just hoped he wouldn't move. You pat down his pockets and his phone is missing. You look over your shoulder to the amass of options.
One of them was bound to have their phone on their person.
You just weren't sure you could stomach looting one of your friends. Your ears perk as you hear footsteps upstairs in the large house hearing them move from room to room before a loud thud is heard.
Heart stuttering as you pivot to snatch up the phone. Slipping in the blood on the floor and almost falling on top of Mina, whom you weren't sure was breathing. When you press the receiver to your ear there is no dial tone, just silence as if someone were on the other line in the house.
"I knew eventually you'd pick up." The voice sounds from the other side.
"Why the FUCK are you doing this?" You seeth, shaking from the effort of keeping the phone to your ear, "THIS ISN'T THE FUCKING MOVIES!"
"Sure it is. Life's one big great movie. Only you can't pick your genre." That velvety sound crackles through the old phone, quoting one of your favorite scenes.
"Stop fucking mocking me!" You slam the phone down, turn to look over the room, catching movement out of the corner of your eye. Standing in the middle of the steps was the large mass of black and the unfriendly ghost face. You aren't a deer in headlights for long, lunging away from him towards the dining room in hopes you could either find a weapon or slip through one of the many sets of french doors.
As soon as your feet move the masked man is bounding down the steps towards you. Hand outreached, his gloved hand snags your shirt but you send back a sharp donkey kick to his shins.
The man growls behind the mask as you slip, into the dining room, your back to the kitchen as you hear a crash and then a thump.
You wait a few moments, blood rushing in your ears as your eyes scan the table, the knives you had left out earlier for pumpkin carving as gone. Only the stencils and gourds remain.
Suddenly strong arms wrap around you, thrashing in their grip before a soft voice whispers in your ear.
"It's me."
"Bakugou! Bakugou!" You half, clutching onto him, you turn around to face him, "I thought you were fucking dead!'
" ' m alright, bit scuffed up. I hit him pretty hard. He should be out cold now, the bastard." He growls as your fingers grab roughly at his torn shirt and his body. You find no deep wounds, just a few slashes on his chest paired with a split lip and small bruise near his temple. Still you're frantically pressing shaking hands over him, finding new wounds here and there.
"You're okay. You're alright. He's gone now." He coos as he fights to calm you down. Stabilizing your anxious movements causes his phone to fall out of his pocket unlocked. It's on his recent outgoing calls, a number he doesn't have saved is his most recent. You stare down at the glowing glass. Heart dropping into your gut hard enough that pure heat rushes to your core and the soles of your feet. You hit him harshly in the ribs and he lets go with his hands up, garnet eyes looking deadly as you hold up his phone. Without a second thought you hit dial.
BRRRRING
BRRRRRINNNNNG
The old phone echoes through the mostly empty house causing you to scream out.
"IT WAS YOU!" He pretends to look confused.
"What?" You slap him across the face and he lunges for you, pressing you against the table in the dining room. The sharp corner bites into the small of your back.
"Don't play coy! You were the one who called earlier. You're the one who….who…" Your mind flashes to Sero, of how pale he looked and how large the pool of blood was getting in a matter of seconds. You fight impossibly against him and his strength.
"Why would you think it was me?!" He shouts, "I found my phone at the party."
"That's fucking convenient." You hiss, his grip tightens and you feel the bruises forming on your wrists.
"I was with you when the killer came in! We were practically fucking on the-" But he doesn't fully get the sentence out. Bakugou coughs and blood splatters on your face, he opens his mouth, teeth crimson as his knees grow weak.
"Run." Katsuki utters, falling to the ground only for a tall man dressed in that damn white mask costume looms within arms reach. The large man blocks the french doors and your only hope is to make it to the back patio through the kitchen. Your shoes squeak as make your way towards the door. Hoping to make it through the obnoxiously big kitchen before you're caught.
Once you got outside your best bet was to attempt to lose this guy in the woods to hopefully round back to the house to get keys. The visibility in that fucking mask had to be low.
Still the man is much taller and much faster than you. His long strides eat up twice the amount of floor as you before his arms are wrapped around you. Hoisting you from the ground as you scream, legs thrashing as you catch him in the thighs and shins over and over. The man hardly moves and makes no sound until you grab onto the mask, yanking it from his head. He howls out as you let the mask fall to the floor and with it a small chunk of bright red hair.
Still he holds you steadfast.
You swallow thickly as he turns you back towards the direction you came.
And there he is.
Bakugou, standing in his black jeans and stained white shirt. Blood dripped from his lips. Except he doesn't look angry or even surprised.
No, he looks delighted.
His lips curled up into a cruel smirk as he watched the gears turn in your head.
"Katsuki?" Your last attempt for him to right this wrong, "I thought...the blood…"
"Corn syrup and red dye. Same thing they use for pigs blood in Carrie." His smile stretches his face in a grotesque manner and you swallow deeply.
He steps closer and Kirishima let's you go, standing well within arms reach should you try to run. You back up into the counter as both men try to crowd you. Tears burning your eyes as Bakugou invades your space.
"Aw come on sweetheart. It was all in good fun. I just wanted to give you what you wanted." He puts a piece of hair behind your ear, "You wanted to meet Ghostface in the flesh, remember?"
With your hands behind your back you feel a small knife you had used to cut up fruits for the jungle juice. Quickly your hands wrap around the cool plastic handle.
"I- I didn't want this." You grit your teeth, voice cracking as you try to stop reliving tonight.
Reliving ten years ago.
"Don't be stupid. You wanted this. It's why I picked you." He leans in close for a kiss.
This was it. This was your do or die.
"You picked the wrong bitch!" You raise the knife to plunge into his throat, he's quick to move and the knife sinks into the meat of his chest just below his clavicle. Blazing eyes hold your glare before a deadly nasty smirk blooms on his face. He removes the knife, pressing you harder into the granite counter, stabbing you in the same spot as himself. Mirroring the wound you gave him, he presses his hard on into your thigh, kissing you with gnashing teeth. His tongue slips in, fighting with yours before he slowly starts to twist the knife causing you to moan into his mouth.
"I bet you love this shit don't you? Your boyfriend and his best friend showing up on Halloween night just for you. Taking out a witness here and there." Blood splatter on his face looks like delicate freckles as he holds eye contact.
"Bet that pussy is soaking for me." He growls, rutting against you for relief as he bites into your throat. Another gasp leaves your plump lips before he leans back.
"Fuck, you look so sexy covered in blood." He snarls, taking the knife out. He presses his hand over your wound before touching his own. He groans as he allows the blood to intermingle on his palm before he swipes his red hand over your face.
"It's like a blood pact now, Princess." He looks to Kirishima, "Come hold her tight."
Kirishima wraps his beefy arms around yours to pull them behind your back causing your tits to jut out. Bakugou smiles as he watches them jiggle, taking the knife and cutting up the front of the shirt to expose your nipples that pebble in the cool air. The soft fabric falls uselessly down your arms. You feel something hard press into your ass and you whimper.
"Isn't she so fucking sexy?" Bakugou speaks of you as if you weren't there. Kirishima swallows thickly behind you, his voice deep with need.
"Yea, her tits are perfect." He leans down to bite at your shoulder and the action makes you gasp.
"They are aren't they?" He smiles, stepping closer to bring the blade of the knife to your skin, poking the tip of it in as he watches your face contort the deeper he presses. When he sees blood he smiles, bringing the blade down into a straight, deep line on your stomach. You bite your lip, thrashing your legs but Bakugou continues on. Swiping the blade down into his original straight line and then starting at the line to swipe down diagonally.
You look down to see the upside down K as Bakugou and Kirishima chuckle.
"K for Katsuki." The ash blonde smiles, lovingly pressing against the initial.
"And K for Kirishima." The red head purrs behind you. Now you thrash harder before Bakugou grabs the sweet meat of your inner thigh.
"Stay still." He growls, spreading your feet apart as he brings the knife between your legs, cutting the thin material of your leggings starting at your ass and going toward your clit. He is careful not to knick your sex. He watches the string of your arousal sit glisten on the edge of the blade as he feels the heat radiates from your core. He palms himself, eyes fluttering before he holds your gaze.
"I knew you'd love this type of shit." He takes his fingers to separate your folds, when he feels how wet you are he groans loudly. Your cunt squeezes around nothing with desperate need. The cock pressed into your ass and the obvious approval coming from Bakugou had your body vibrating.
"I knew it from the moment I read your fictions on those forums." Your eyes widened with shock, no one knew about your fanfictions that you wrote. Not even your friends.
So how the hell did he?
He doesn't give you time to figure it out as his fingers dip into your cunt. Sucking him in as he shifts his weight, pulling his fingers back to your cunt. Harshly rubbing up and down your slit as your knees grow weak.
"Stop fighting it, Princess." He chuckles, "Cum."
On command you do, unable to fight back the moan as you rear your head back to rest against Kirishima's shoulder. You hold his ruby gaze as Bakugou pulls another two out of you with just his fingers. Your mouth forms an endless "O" as Bakugou moves your body to his will. You watch Kirishima suck his teeth loudly before he purses his lips, spitting into your open mouth. It hits the back of your throat, causing you to gag as you rut against Bakugou's fingers. Your head spins and you start to feel high.
"So dirty for us." Kirishima says softly, "Such a good girl."
"You wanna try her out first?" Bakugou asks Kirishima who eagerly nods. Bakugou wraps his arms around yours and your torso, pressing you to his chest.
"I've got her." Katsuki says, kissing your temple as Kirishima let's go of your arms. You can hear Bakugou's racing heart and barely smell that sweet burning sugar mixed with a hint of smoke. Subconsciously you breathe in deeply, always loving the way he smelled. Kirishima undoes his belt, letting his pants and boxers fall to the floor. He steps out of them and fists his fat cock, dragging pre down his length.
"You won't be a brat right? You'll be a good girl and let Eiji split you open with his fat cock." Katsuki asks almost tenderly as he presses his lips to your ear. You blink slowly, struggling to stand as your body starts to crash from both the back to back orgasms and your fading adrenaline, still your body betrays you and you nod.
"That's a good Princess." They praise in unison causing a jolt to go through your body. Kirishima prods your folds, teasing you as he rubs his tip up and down your slit. Enjoying the way you jump when it hits your clit. Finally he presses the tip to your tight, pulsing entrance, inching his way in before he's filled you to his hilt. He wraps his arms back around yours as he did before lifting you up to adjust your weight as you take his cock impossibly deeper.
"Oh" Is all you let out before he starts to gyrate his hips, building into a fast pace as his balls slap into your ass. The lewd sounds of your sopping cunt echo around the kitchen mixed in with Kirishima's grunts as Bakugou's burning gaze bores into your skin.
"Isn't her cunt the best?" Bakugou keens as he watches your pussy swallow up Kirishima's cock.
"Fuck. Yes.." Kirishima rasps, his harsh thrusts causing your tits to bounce. Your eyes start to roll into the back of your head, cunt squeezing his cock as it hits your g spot.
"Gonna cream his cock already?" Bakugou asks lowly, hand coming to your heat. Two rough digits swirl harshly against your puffy clit, "Lemme help ya. Cum for me, Princess."
"F-fuck." You cry, body shaking as your eyes roll into the back of your head, cunt throbbing as Bakugou's fingers continue to assault your clit while Kirishima groans behind you. His knees weak and grip on your arms that much tighter as you fist his shirt with numb fingers.
"Oi, no cumming yet, shitty hair." Bakugou barks, "We have to take care of our lady first."
As you shake with the feeling of another orgasm, Bakugou takes the knife and gently glides it along your skin, a bead of blood follows the blade. The sting of the cut paired with the throbbing need in your cunt pushes you over the edge. Tears cling to long lashes as you hold eye contact with Bakugou as another orgasm rips through your body.
"That's right, you love this, you filthy fucking slut." He slaps your clit with his fingers and it causes you to squeeze Kirishima so tight he stills. Panting as you feel his cock throbbing in your stretched walls, he's close and your cunt attempts to milk him. You wiggle your hips, wanting them both to continue causing Bakugou to smirk.
"Alright Kirishima, you should be lubed enough to slide it into her tight ass." Bakugou orders, pulling at his belt. Kirishima pulls out, leaving your cunt clenching over nothing before he presses his wet tip to your ass. Spitting down onto his cock for extra measure before he slowly inches in, careful not to tear you with his fat cock. The burning sensation causes you to squirm, Kirishima bites at you shoulder to keep from cumming.
"So tight." He whines, giving a few sloppy thrusts.
"Oi, suck it up. She deserves a good time, don't ya, Princess?" Bakugou runs a finger down the mock initial he carved into your stomach, "Don't you want us both to split you open?"
Your eyes flutter from Kirishima's movements and when you do not answer Bakugou becomes annoyed.
"Oi." A slap rings out in the kitchen as your cheek stings. His large palm finds your tender throat as he squeezes so hard that the fringes of your vision begin to fade to black. "Pay attention when I'm speaking to you, Sweetheart."
He squeezes tighter, leaning close as he lines his cock up with your entrance.
"Got it?" He asks and you frantically nod, trying to push his tip in deeper.
There was always something about Bakugou's cock that made you so stupid, so cock hungry and desperate that you'd let him do anything.
Forgive him for anything, as his cock had addictive qualities you could not deny.
"That's a good kitten." He purrs, plunging into you as his gives you a rough kiss with gnashing teeth. He keeps his hold on your throat as the two of them fall into a fast pace. Fuckin into you as your body begins to melt between theirs. Cocks twitching as they dove into your body and used your holes without warrant. You wheeze out moans as Bakugou holds your throat tightly, watching your arousal coat his dick in creamy rings as you contract around them.
"Fuck, fuck." Kirishima groans struggling to hold it together as you squeeze them both, cumming over and over while they use you as a cock sleeve.
"Just a bit longer. I bet we can make her squirt." Bakugou teases, bringing his free hand down between your bodies, rubbing his fingers quickly against your abused clit as you jerk between them. Suddenly a live wire as the coil in you tightens.
"Please," You rasp, "It's- it's too-"
But Bakugou cuts you off, taking his hand from your throat to hear you cry and to skip his finger into the stab wound below your collarbone. He swirls his fingers around and your vision goes white. The searing pain mixed with the divine pleasure of their cocks pounding into you causes your world to shatter. Screaming out a mixture of their names, clear liquid gushing from your cunt. Kirishima groans behind you, the contractions of your tight hole too much as hot seed deliciously fills you up. Bakugou's hips falter as he roughly fucks into you with wild abandon, chasing his own high as he holds your half lidded gaze and his finger in your wound.
"Takes. Me. So. Fuckin. Well." He grunts, before you pull him in just right. Causing him to paint your abused cunt in hot shades of white.
The three of you stay there, panting before Kirishima withdraws first, making a motion to get dressed. You collapse into Bakugou, who bites and sucks at your neck. Peppering you with both kisses and praises.
"My good little slut. My sweet Princess."
Meanwhile Kirishima takes off his button up flannel that was for his Jason costume, he slips your arms through the holes delicately and suddenly the smell of both of them makes your mind go blissfully blank. Mountain breeze and rain mixes with Bakugou's sweet scent blocking out any other memory than the feel of their cocks. Your body slowly catches up to your brain as your body throbs in several places. Bakugou pulls up his own pants without letting you go as he talks to Kirishima.
"We gotta get going soon. You had your gloves on the whole time right?"
"Yea." Kirishima responds, wiggling his fingers before Bakugou goes on.
"And you didn't let Mina post a picture that you were here?"
"Nope didn't even take a selfie with her. " Eijirou confirms as he wipes your prints from the handle of the knife, "You got a bag for her?"
Bakugou scoffs.
"Yea I grabbed some shit from her own bag she packed."
Your ears ring as they talk, the bliss of the mind blowing fuck slowly wears off and that haunting metallic tang starts to come to the forefront of your mind.
"O-Oi!" A weak voice croaks, "Let her go."
You whip around to see Denki stagger under the threshold of the kitchen. Bakugou's knuckles turn white as he grits his teeth towards Kirishima.
"I told you to kill everyone." He growls.
"I did!" Kirishima retorts as Bakugou's eyes widen before they narrow.
"Then why is he standing here you fuckin idiot. Take care of it." Bakugou bites, pulling you closer to him as Kirishima twirls the knife in his hand before grabbing it tightly.
"I'll- I'll go with you quietly. Please, please don't kill him. He's all I have left." You fist Bakugou's shirt, desperately looking between the two men as tears gather in your eyes, "Please...Katsu, baby."
"D-don't." Denki struggles to speak but you give him a pleading look.
"I-" You gulp down the truth only to spit up a lie, "I'll be okay Denks. Just lie low til we leave." You turn to Bakugou and Kirishima. Both who are ready to pounce onto the weak electric blonde.
"He's gonna squeal on us, Sweetheart." Bakugou's gruff voice turns soft, "Then how will Kirishima and I take care of you?'
He presses his hand against that damned K again as you grit your teeth.
"I know. I know. But...please." Real tears fall down your cheeks as you begin to shake, "You won't tell right, Denks? Right? He-"
You sob and Bakugou runs his hand up your back while Kirishima says what you couldn't.
"He'll probably bleed out before he can even get a hold of someone."
Bakugou gives Kirishima a look before staring at Kaminari.
"For your sake you better hope he does." He growls at the large red head before he turns you away from Kaminari, "Grab your shit and let's go."
Kirishima grabs for the mask and the costume, wrapping it up as he follows the two of you out onto the patio. Bakugou squeezes the back of your neck tightly, guiding you out of the large Manor of horror forever.
All the while your plans to plot revenge begin to crumble with every dull ache between your thighs.
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youbloodymadgenius · 3 years
Text
Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 2
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Moodboard by @quantumlocked310
Ivarello's masterpost here
A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖
A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂
A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩
In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.
Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!
Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊
Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.
Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.
Words: 2075
Additional note: In Norway, you are of age at 18.
Enjoy 🙂
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"... don't start eating until your brother joins us."
As he pushes himself down the large hallway leading to the kitchen, Ivar can hear Lagertha's assertive voice. He knows exactly who she's talking to and his suspicions are confirmed as soon as he enters the room, as a very displeased and apparently famished Hvitserk looks at him with irritation before letting out a muffled, "it's 'bout time."
"Sorry, I must have dozed off." Shrugging, Ivar wheels up to the kitchen table, the smell of pizza tickling his nostrils. He must be hungrier than he thought.
"You look like Hel." Sigurd sneers in greeting.
Ivar, without bothering to look up, just tilts his head and hisses through clenched teeth, "coming from you, dear brother, I take that as a compliment."
He can feel Lagertha's gaze upon him and when he turns his head toward her, she is staring at him, the worry obvious in her eyes.
"I wouldn’t have put it exactly like that but Sigurd isn't wrong." She crosses the room and leans over, her brow furrowed. "You look exhausted, sweetie, what's going on?"
Ivar almost wants to laugh. He looks exhausted? No kidding? Yeah, guess what? That's what two sleepless nights in a row usually do to you. At least that's what they did to him. What you did to him, haunting his nights and even haunting his dreams, waking him up with a start, his heart pounding in his chest, the few times he managed to fall asleep. At least, he'd made up his mind early this morning. Hopefully, now that the decision has been made, he'll sleep better. Saturday night, he'll see you again. His heart is racing at the thought and he inhales deeply, trying to calm down.
Unsurprisingly persistent, Lagertha asks again as she places her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly, "Ivar, are you all right?"
He wishes he could just ignore his stepmom but knows she won't let it rest. Unwilling to admit that he owes his restless nights to a girl - to you - he decides to keep his answer vague. "So-so," he mumbles, slightly rocking his right hand.
"You're in pain? Do you need more meds? I could run to the drugstore really quick."
For once, he doesn't resent Ubbe for his well-meant yet patronizing kindness, nor for the pitying look he gives him. Actually, he silently thanks him for the good diversion. As long as his brothers and Lagertha believe that it's his legs that bother him, keeping him awake, his secret - you - will be safe.
Faking a small, sheepish smile, Ivar shakes his head. "Thanks bro, but that's okay, I have everything I need. Guess I should just double-up the tramadol tonight." He winces for good measure, knowing fully well he won't even need a single dose. The pain in his legs today is barely at four, nothing he can't handle.
Once the meal is almost over – which in plain English means that everyone but Hvitserk has finished eating, but thanks to Lagertha principle 'no one leaves the table until everyone has finished, boys', they're all stuck here – Ivar decides it's time to break the news.
"I'm gonna go to the party."
As soon as the words are out of his mouth, the kitchen falls quiet. Even Hvitserk stops chewing, putting his last slice of pizza back on his plate.
Not knowing what to do with the silence, and feeling a little awkward, Ivar explains further, a hand on his neck, "the midsummer party, I mean. Harald's party."
"We heard you just fine, sweetie." Lagertha is the first to pull herself together, even though the disbelief is clear in her voice. As Ivar looks up, his brothers are staring at him, slack-jawed, bewildered, probably wondering what's got into their baby brother.
"Let me get this straight." With widened eyes, Ubbe starts running both hands through his hair, "you are considering attending Harald's party, right? That's... That's what you said?"
"Yep." Ivar shrugs as if it was no big deal. Who is he kidding? Of course, it is! Attending the party is a fucking huge deal for him. There's no way in Hel he'll admit it, though. Not in front of his brothers. No fucking way!
"I'm not sure I understand..." Ubbe sounds cautious and it infuriates Ivar to no end.
"What part of 'I'm gonna go to the party' don't you get, brother? Huh? Too many big words for you?" He wants to keep going but when Lagertha clears her throat and gives him a stern look, he faintly raises an apologetic hand while muttering under his breath, "okay, okay, I'll stop."
Heaving a sigh, he shrugs once more. "Seriously, you don't all have to look so surprised. I just want to go to Harald's party. It's really not that big of a deal."
"But you never wanted to, sweetie. Why now?" Lagertha's eyes are wide open and there's a frown on her forehead as she crosses her arms.
"Why not?" Ivar can't help but raise his voice. "I'm sixteen, Lagertha! Thought I was entitled to a change of heart. Was I wrong?" Pointing a finger successively at each of his brothers, his free hand grabs his push rim, his knuckles white. "The three of you attend every year, why shouldn't I?" Looking directly at Lagetha once again, he asks in a clipped voice, "You're not going to tell me I can't go, are you?"
"Of course not, sweet–" She begins but Ubbe cuts her off.
"Listen Ivar, no one is saying you shouldn't go, not yet at least. As a matter of fact, no one would be more pleased than I if you were willing to go out more. Playing pool, going to the movies, or just having drinks, you know you're always welcome to come along with us. But..." Ubbe groans, rubbing his hands over his face and Ivar stiffens, grinding his teeth, "Harald's party, really? It's not going to work. You know it takes place on the beach, it's not exactly wheelchair-friendly."
Reluctantly taking his eyes off his slice of pizza, Hvitserk jumps in. "Ivar is our brother, if he wants to go, we find a way. That's it - I'll carry him."
Positively surprised, a small smile playing on his lips, Ivar thanks his brother with a nod, glad – and relieved too, because two are always better than one, right? – that Hvitserk, as so often, backs him up. Of all his brothers, he's the only one who sees him first as a sixteen-year-old and not as a cripple.
Ubbe is having none of it though. "Hvitserk, just stay out of this, okay?" He's practically shouting, chin up and chest out. "You don't have a say! I'm the oldest, not you! I don't think it's a good idea for Ivar to attend Harald's party, period."
Hvitserk furrows his brow and for a short moment, Ivar thinks his brother is going to fight back but eventually he lowers his gaze, defeated, before shoving the whole slice of pizza into his mouth. Ivar knows all too well that his brother, who's not the most tenacious of them, hates confrontation, especially with Ubbe.
Unlike him, Ivar is always ready to pick up a fight, even when it's not worth it, even when he is wrong. Today, though, it's definitely worth it.
His nostrils flaring, he smashes his fist down on the table, his face crumpled with anger. "Who do you think you are, Ubbe? You may be the oldest, but you're not my father, okay? So please, just do me a favor, brother, and read my lips." His voice dripping with sarcasm, his bottom lips quivering, Ivar is absolutely livid, "You. Don't. Have. A. Say. Period."
Ubbe is about to retort, his hands clenched into fists but Lagertha raises a hand, shutting him up. "Boys, boys, boys!" Glancing at Ubbe and then at Ivar, she shakes her head, not exactly thrilled with their outburst. "Now, calm down, both of you. Ubbe, Ivar is right. You may be his big brother, you may be an adult, but you're not his father. I know you mean well but as Ivar's guardian, I have the final say." Turning her head toward Ivar, she cracks him a reassuring smile. "We'll talk about this later, okay? Just the two of us."
***
Slamming the door shut, Ivar wheels up right next to his bed and, angling his chair just right, transfers over onto his bed before punching the wall, a roar escaping his lips. Big tears of frustration and anger run down his cheeks as Sigurd's words linger in his mind.
He had been surprised when his less-favorite brother had stayed out of the conversation.
He should have known better.
No sooner had Lagertha, Ubbe and Hvitserk left – she to make a phone call, they to join Margrethe – leaving them to tidy up the kitchen, than Sigurd had lashed out at him with harsh words and eyes full of spite.
"You messed up in the head, huh? It's a fucking beach, Ivar, you do realize your front wheels will get stuck in sand, right? Now tell me, little brother, do you really think we are going to carry your crippled ass around all night? Let me tell you, it's not going to happen! There will be so many better ways for us to spend the night. Girls, you know? Lots of them. Am I going to let you embarrass me and ruin my night? No! Not in a million years. And anyway, why do you even want to go? Get real, Ivar, you don't belong there, you just don't. You're a fucking cripple, a freak, an abnormality. No one wants you there. No one wants to see you. The sooner you accept it the better."
He knows Sigurd was intentionally trying to hurt him. And fuck, he did succeed. Ivar had felt so humiliated that it had brought bile to his throat.
At some point, while Sigurd was spitting his venom, Ivar had grabbed the large knife lying on the table and it took all his self-control not to stab his brother. No doubt his shrink would be proud of him.
Now though in his room, and even if he is boiling with anger, the nagging thought that Sigurd had a point, that he wasn't completely wrong, doesn't leave him. And he can see now that, in his own weird way, Ubbe was trying to protect him. By preventing him from going, his big brother wanted to spare him humiliation, pity, and mockery. Hvitserk, of course, had been willing to help, but let's face it, Sigurd once again was right. Piggy-back riding is not really an option anymore, he is too heavy. Plus, if he's being honest, even if it were still possible, it's the last thing he'd want. The mere thought of you seeing him on Ubbe's or Hvitserk's back makes him nauseous. Which puts him back to square one.
The beach is a problem and a huge one. Wheeling in sand is a no-go. It's just fucking impossible. If he doesn't come up with an idea soon, he's not going to be physically able to attend the party. And that's something he doesn't want to consider.
"I need a fucking genius idea!" He speaks out loud, cracking his knuckles, his eyes squeezed shut.
Fuck.
He just wants to see you. Y/N... Just you. And he won't be able to.
Fuck. Fucking sand! Fucking beach! Fucking legs! Fuck– Stop.
Wait.
What... What did he say?
He needs an idea... A genius idea. Genius. That's it.
A slow smile spreads across his face.
Good thing he knows an authentic genius, right?
Grabbing his phone, he frantically slides his pointer finger on the screen, sighing with relief as he finds the contact he is looking for.
"Hello, Ivar," the man answers after two rings, and his voice brings an even bigger smile to Ivar's lips, "it's very sweet of you to call me."
"Hello to you too, you spindly legged, knock-kneed old fool. There might be something that you can do for me. I want to attend Harald's party. It'll take place on the beach. My brothers won't carry me and I can't really crawl about, can I? I wonder if you could help me, Floki?"
Ivar's godfather lets out a high-pitched chuckle before answering, "I'll figure something out, dear Ivar, I'll figure something out."
🛡⚔️🛡
Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom
Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings @heavenly1927
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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years
Text
Slashers Toy Story!AU
Or, *cough* a way for me to write out a buncha funny Incorrect Quotes and smoosh two things I love together.
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Woody: Jason Voorhees
Buzz Lightyear: Michael Myers
Jessie: Ghostface
Prospector/Stinky Pete: Roman Bridger
Bo Peep and Ham: Freddy Krueger
Mr Potato Head: Chucky / Charles Lee Ray
Mrs Potato Head: Tiffany Valentine
Slinky: Carrie White
Rex: Bubba Sawyer
Barbie: Jennifer Check
Ken: Patrick Bateman
Lotso-'O'-Huggin' Bear: Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt. Was gonna be Bo, but Hoyt just fits way better. Plus he has Thomas.
Chuckles: Monty
Big Baby: Thomas hewitt
The Chatter Telephone: Luda Mae Hewitt
Also, Sunnydale Daycare: Ambrose. Because why not.
*I'm thing the kids in Toy Story are the fanbase and creators of the Slashers in this AU. Like, Andy and Bonnie are the original creators that make up the canon stuff and created them to be the infamous characters we all know- and Sid is us fan-people that twist and distort the characters for our own pleasure, haha XD *
An abundance of Incorrect Quotes bellow the cut!
Chucky: *With all the features on his face mismatched*
Chucky: Hey Freddy, look! I'm Picasso!
Freddy: ... yeah, I don't get it. *Leaves*
Chucky: *what... * You uncultured swine!! *Shakes his fist at Freddy's retreating back. That was a good fucking joke, goddamn.*
~
Michael: *Writing down on whiteboard:* Excuse me... I think the word you're searching for is
THE SHAPE.
Jason: *Already so done with this edgy boy's bullshit*
Jason: *Moves attention to his own whiteboard, starts writing*
Jason: *Shows board*
NO. The word I'm 'searching for', I cant say, because there are preschool toys present.
*Gestures ferociously to Carrie and Bubba.*
~
Jason: *Ughhhh. Shows board that he frantically wrote on:* Its not a KNIFE! Its a little stick of plastic!!
Freddy: What's wrong with him??
Chucky: Knife envy~
Freddy: Ah been there
~
Jason and Michael: *Watching Dr Loomis give psychology advice*
Jason and Michael: *Slowly tilting their heads sceptically, in unison*
Michael: *Holds up board for Jason to read:* ... I don't think that man has ever been to medical school.
~
Jason: *Trying to get Michael to help him. Writes passive aggressively on board and shoves the thing in Michael's view:* Would you give me a hand!???
Michael: *Fucking slices his own arm off and chucks it at Jason*
Look, he's having a bad day...
~
Freddy: *Sneaks up on Jason and digs his fingers into the giants sides*
Jason: *Whips around and cracks Freddy in the face from shock*
Jason: *Realises its just Freddy as the other groans and holds his nose, and looks a little guilty. Oh, Freddy. Writes on board and shows him:* There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.
Freddy: Agh- Fucking- Merry Christmas, hockey puck!
Jason: *Catches sight of something above them, tilts his head. Writes and shows board:* Isn't that mistletoe?
Freddy: *A slow, creepy grin rips across his face* Yep.
~ Toy Stoy 2~
Jason: *Frantically holding up a board:* Michael! I was a yo-yo!
Freddy and Chucky: *Look at each other*
Chucky: 'Was'?
~
*Michael and the others watching a dude try to buy Jason and failing.*
Michael: *Thinking: Mm, now just walk away.*
Man: *Follows after where Jason went.*
Michael: *Thinking: ... the other way.*
~
*After Jason has been stolen- everyone is panicking*
Michael: *Stomping his foot, trying to gather these psychopaths' attentions. Wait a minute! Wait, hold on! When he semi has their attention, he shows a piece of paper with writing on it:* This is not time to be hysterical.
Freddy: Its the perfect time to be hysterical.
Bubba: *Gasp. Should we be hysterical!?*
Carrie: *Tries to calm Bubba down, a hand on his arm and voice gentle* No-
Chucky: Yes.
Michael: *Thinking: ... well, maybe*
~
Freddy: Give this to Jason when you find him
Freddy: *SMACKS MICHAEL UPSIDE THE HEAD*
Michael: ... *Holds up board* Alright. But I don't think it'll mean the same thing coming from me.
~
Freddy: *Up ahead* Hey guys! Why did the toys cross the road!?
Michael: *But rolls his eyes. Not now bacon bits.*
Bubba: *Perks up and waives. Oh! He loves riddles. Why?*
Freddy: To get to the chicken... on the other side!
*They all look out and celebrate, seeing where Jason was being kept hostage... but then realise how dangerous getting across will be as a giant fricken truck careens by and crushes a can the same size as them*
Bubba: ... *Promptly turns around and starts walking back the way they came. Oh well. We tried-*
Michael: *Grabs Bubba back*
~
Jennifer: I can help! I'm Tour Guide Jen!
Jennifer: Please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car, and no flash photography! Thanks.
Chucky: -I'm a married man, I'm married man, I'm married man-
Freddy: *Shoves Chucky out of the way* Then make room for the single fellas.
~
Michael: *Ugh. Writes on board:* They're on level 23.
Carrie: How are we gonna get up there?
Bubba: *Gestures to balloons, then up to the sky. Meaning: Maybe if we find some balloons, we could float to the top!*
Chucky: Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom, and pretend we're delivering a pizza.
Freddy: How bout a roast? *Grins*
Freddy: *Assesses Chucky and Carrie in turn* With tenderised pig and a slaughtered lamb as sides.
Chucky: Hold the fuck up did you just call me a pig- and a side-
Carrie: What?
Bubba: Oh! Oh! *Pats his chest excitedly. Do him! What about me??*
Freddy: ... Eh, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.
~
*Michael does something to get them all hurt and doesn't to care at all, of course. Just moves on.*
Chucky: Remind me to glue his mask on his head when we get back.
Freddy: *Nods, yep*
~
Chucky:*Embracing Tiffany after having been away saving Jason*
Glen and Glenda: You saved our lives! We're eternally grateful!
Chucky: Oh, fuck...
Tiffany: You saved their lives, Chucky?? Oh, my hero.
Tiffany: *Immediately drops Chucky in favour of picking up the babies* And they're adorable! Lets adopt them!
Chucky: *Thinking: What? No- Absolutely not- Don't say tha-*
Glen and Glenda: Daaaaddy!
Chucky: Fuck.
~Toy Story 3~
Jason: *Holds up a sign as he stands there menacingly with his machete:* You got a date with justice, Charles.
Chucky: Heh, too bad, 'sheriff'. I'm a married man.
Tiffany: *Comes out screaming, wielding goddamn nun chucks*
~
Michael: *Eyes narrow behind mask, slowly holds up sign he prepared earlier:* Bastard son of a hundred maniacs.
Freddy: Hah. That's Mr Bastard son of a hundred maniacs, to you!
~
*The toys/Slashers watch some toys, including Jennifer and her car get thrown in the donation bin*
Ghostface: Oh, man, poor Jen.
Freddy: ... I get the corvette.
~
Tiffany: Its alright, Jen, it'll be okay.
Jennifer: Well... Needy and I have been growing apart for a while...
Jennifer: Its just... I cant believe she would kill me!
Chucky: *Who's 'best friend till the end'/victim also killed him* Yeah. Welcome to the club, toots.
~
Hoyt: They just love new toys, don't they?
Chucky: Love!? We've been chewed, kicked, drooled on-
Tiffany: Just look at my nails!
Hoyt: ... Hm. Well, here's the thing, sweetheart. You aint leavin' Ambrose.
Tiffany: *Thinking: Oh fuck no he did not just- * Sweetheart!? Who do you think you're talking to!? I have over 10 kills, and I deserve more respec-
Hoyt: *Covers Tiffany's mouth with his hand* Ah, that's better.
Chucky: *Thinking: I'm going to fuck this douche up- * Hey, no one takes my wife's mouth. *Shoves Hoyt back off her by the chest* 'Cept me.
~
*Hoyt and Thomas bring Chucky back from 'The Box'. He's more fucked up looking then usual, sand all through his hair and stuck to his plastic features. He shakes it out of his pockets.*
Tiffany: *Gasp* Sweetheart!
Chucky: Eugh... it was cold. And dark. Nothin' but sand and a couple of Lincoln logs.
Freddy: Ehhh... I don't think those were Lincoln logs.
~
Ghostface: I was wrong...
Chucky:
Chucky: Ghostface is right. He was wrong.
~
Jennifer: *Fake cries*
~
Chucky: *Slaps a Pidgeon*
~
*Trying to reset Michael back to his former settings/self (The one that knows them and therefore will maybe-perhaps-possibly not kill them*
Freddy: Oh- oh- oh, here we go. there should be a little hole under the switch.
Jason: *Little hole little hold little hole- Nods. Got it!*
Freddy: To reset your Michael Myers action figure, insert paper clip-
Jason: *Sharply turns to Bubba, urging him to put his finger in the hole quickly*
Freddy: Caution; Do not hold button for more then five seconds...
Michael: *Suddenly stops thrashing and goes slack*
Everyone: ...
Bubba: *Jumps off him, holding up his hands. Its not my fault!!*
~
Michael, on Spanish Mode: *Gives Jason two sweet kisses on either cheek*
Jason: *Awkwardly, slowly holds up sign:* We gotta switch him back.
~
Ghostface: Oh! Mikey!!
Michael, still on Spanish Mode: *Sees Ghostface*
Michael: *Drops to his knees, gathers up Ghostface's hand*
Michael: *Looks up at Ghostface in utter awe and admiration*
Ghostface: *Freaken freaked out. Shouldn't he be the creepy one in this outfit? Leans away* Uhh... did you fix Michael?
Freddy: Uh, sorta. I mean I for one think this is a huge improvement.
~
Michael, STILL on Spanish Mode: *Does a dance of feelings around Ghostface, wanting to express himself*
Ghostface: What- why- please stop I'm gonna pee myself- Of laughter or fear I have no idea but I WILL PEE
Michael: *Grabs and dips Ghostface, and holds up a sign* We will be the most famous killers in history, together.
Ghostface: *Thinking: Oh I can get behind that, hell yeah- *
Jason: *Arrives*
Ghostface: Oh- *Scrambles out of Michaels hold* JASE!
Michael: *Watches them move on together* *Throws down the sign*
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Freddy: I suddenly feel disgusting, like... I somehow ended up in some kinda... love-square, of some kind...
~
Jason: *Nicely gestures for Michael to give him some help*
Michael, stillllllll on Spanish mode: *Sniffs his nose at Jason's hand, shoving him out of the way with one arm like no thank you.*
~
Jennifer: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed. Not from the threat of force! // Or, alternatively which I think fits a whole lot better- // I am not going to stand back here and let another fucking old white guy tell me what the fuck to do!
Chucky and Freddy, two old white guys: *Look at each other*
Chucky:
Freddy:
Chucky and Freddy: *Shrug*
And that's it seeing as I don't really wanna see Toy Story 4. I hope you enjoyed this silly thing with me at least a little XD
Okay so I got a little attached in the end.
109 notes · View notes
thunderheadfred · 3 years
Text
🤚The Second Worst (Pt. 1/?)🤚
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Part 2 of my Shigaraki Thesis Headcanons. HC's // The Second Worst: 1 - 2
The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck. -- AKA here's when I gave up on bullet points and went off the fuckin rails
I'm self-conscious about writing so much, so uhhhh, please be kind, hahaaa. This is rather long and involved. Are these still even HCs or just a self-indulgent AU outline? There are some mysteries we may never solve.
This is on AO3 now, if you prefer reading there. Anyway. Minors do not interact.
- - - - -
You met Tenko before the League existed.
Believe it or not, there are a million ways it might have happened, but in the end: you were both bargain-binning in Akihabara.
You reached for a copy of a collectible bullet-hell cute-'em-up (near-mint! CIB!!!) and accidentally bonked hands with a complete stranger. He flinched about five million feet away from you. Ouch. You're just a nobody, quirkless and average, but you didn't think you were THAT repulsive.
(You're not. Hell, even if you were, this guy couldn't care less. He barely registers that you have a face.)
(Shigaraki is accustomed to getting in and out of this shop in seconds. He always comes in before anyone else and goes straight home. -- Is that really home? Is 'home' a real place? -- ANYWAY he's already pirated this shit, god, why does he even care? He doesn't need to be here. Father doesn't like it. Is that why he's here? Just to do something Father doesn't like? That's pathetic.)
He's had at least ten complete internal arguments with himself before he so much as looks at you.
You know in the tenth of a second he actually meets your eyes... this fucker is going to fight you to the death over this game.
- - - The death match ends in a draw. He was not expecting you to know the first fucking thing about this game. Nobody knows about it, even in Japan. Who the fuck do you even think you are? Oh, no, he's still taking it. But... maybe he can show you how to play it it. He'll give you a little taste, just to make you jealous. He's got his hoodie pulled down like he's going to commit an act of terrorism. What little you can see of his face looks twitchy and messed up. If you have any survival instincts at all, they're kicking in right about now. But... why not. You're not going anywhere with this dude unsupervised, so you suggest a crowded web cafe down the street. The cafe has the necessary console... but the retro gaming booth is laughably small. The TV is about four inches across and you end up having to practically sit in his lap. You were sure this guy was a nasty fucking creep, but he's................ only mostly terrible. Way too angry, for sure. Has no idea how to have a normal, friendly conversation. Inadvertently insults you every other sentence and seems to have a deep-seated persecution complex.
You'd prefer to be mad about the awful company, but... he's obviously deprived of human contact. When it's established that you two share a lot of media fixations, he calms down and starts treating you a little more like a human being. Or at least like a fellow elite.
Wherever he came from, he doesn't seem to want to go back. He keeps pushing you to play one more level, pretending he wants to beat your score. You feel kinda bad for him. You get the distinct feeling that his life is a disaster. He looks like he's never had a full night of sleep in his life. He trips your trigger hairs in that 'is he gonna follow me home?' kind of way, but... up close, he's a lot more depressing than scary. At the very least, you want to buy him a stupidly cute dessert. Just... as thanks. For letting you try out the game and stuff. It's not a big deal, so just pick a flavor, okay? The world isn't actually that awful, y'know.
It's not even that impressive... Definitely not a great cafe. But he takes practically a full hour to eat a single slice of strawberry cake.
When the hoodie comes down. He's all shriveled and dried out, like someone left him him in the desert to die. He chews on his peeling bottom lip and nervously scratches his neck. He doesn't thank you for the cake. Which is fine. It's not a big deal. Actually, you wish he would eat faster; you feel weirdly responsible for him now.
Under all that mess he's... gorgeous? His hair is stunning: a bright, gleaming silver that catches the light. His bone structure is flawless. If it weren't for all the scars and the misanthropic slouch, he'd look like a fairy fucking prince.
You were not prepared for that. In another life he could have been a model, the type of guy who would never even look at you. But something bad happened to him. Something... very bad. Do you even want to know? You have no idea how to ask. Has anyone ever been nice to him? It doesn't seem like it. Should YOU be nice to him? You sort of want to try. - - - This becomes a regular thing. This weird little secret. You should probably tell someone when you see him, just in case you don't come back one day, but you say nothing; how the hell would you explain why you want to see him so bad? You don't know his full name. Maybe he's on a watch list. When he gives you a long string of random numbers so you can schedule meet-ups (is THAT his e-mail, really?) he tells you to just... call him Tenko. Or whatever. It doesn't matter. (He sneaks out when Father is deep in his plots. As long as he comes home on time, it doesn't really matter where he goes, right?) He brings a different game every time. He has an insane collection. Where does he get the money for all this? You know he doesn't work. God, is it drugs? It's probably drugs. Wherever these hidden gems came from, he proudly shows them off to you, like he's never had an audience before. It's sort of cringe-inducing, the way he one-ups and rubs every little victory in your face, desperate for attention.
But at the same time, you are becoming too... something...to mind. Do you... like him? He's not funny, but he thinks you are. His mouth is huge when he laughs. He seems to hate everyone but you, and you've had to earn the distinction of being merely tolerable. Still, he gets really excited about random shit like the garage kit black market and haunted dolls and the price of weed on the dark web.
And... strawberry cake. The realization hits you both at the same time when the waitress brings one piece with two forks. God, what the fuck, are you... are you dating? Quick, think. You look forward to seeing him, and don't even mind sitting close to him anymore. Sometimes you push your leg up against him just to see if he'll still flinch away... and he doesn't.
You jealously notice the way he touches everything but you: with delicate precision, one finger at a time. His large, elegant hands always have a pinky up like he's aspiring for a fiefdom, and you wonder what his skin feels like. You go home and dwell on the way he plucks flowering weeds out of the pavement in front of the cafe. The way he stands rooted to the spot as you leave, just... looking at nothing, unsmiling.
You watch his lips too much, and not just because you want to buy him chapstick. You catch him gaping at you all the time. You thought he was just creepy like that, but maybe... Yeah. I guess you are dating him. Shit. - - - Okay, so, yeah. Bringing him back to your place was definitely a bad idea. You know you shouldn't trust him, even if he is... apparently... your boyfriend? Sort of? You still don't have his phone number. So. Um. What now? You order overpriced pizza and queue up a campy horror movie. What the fuck are you even doing. You don't really think he's going to murder you anymore, but... still. Is the suburban massacre scene gonna give him ideas? Turns out, no. He doesn't like gore, even when the blood is neon pink. He gets upset. Like, really upset. Shaky and green, like he might puke on you. He can't stop scratching that scaly spot on his neck.
Tenko, are you crying? Fucking hell, did you just trigger him? Of course he has a traumatic past, it's carved all over his face. You're so fucking stupid. You don't know how to make it right. You want to hug him, kiss him... anything. But he's never really touched you, and you're too afraid to push now. It ruins the whole night. He leaves without explaining anything. Doesn't even say goodbye. He just. Leaves. Maybe you'll never see him again. Maybe that's for the best. Your chest hurts. - - - He shows up at your door a few weeks later. You haven't heard from him since that disastrous movie night. You had pretty much accepted that you'd broken up with a boyfriend you never actually had. But no. Apparently not.
This time, he’s brought his own entertainment. He's holding a boxed set of some show you're not familiar with. You're distracted by these weird little half-gloves he's wearing, like a cyberpunk hacker. That's a new look, and even if it's a bit edgelord adjacent, he makes it look cool. You tell him as much. It's the first time you've let on how attractive you find him. He's wearing a tight black shirt with a deep, deep V-neck. That's distracting too.
He clears his slender throat and doesn't look at you.
You try to apologize for before, but he's acting like it never happened. What are you even talking about? Have you seen this OVA or not? Get out of the way and let him in already. You've watched three episodes now, but you still have no idea what this stupid anime is about. You can't pay attention to a single frame. All you can think about is how his arm has crept up behind your shoulders. A few inches more and he'll be holding you. Does he... want to hold you? You lean toward him so slowly your spine creaks. One molecule at a time. After a thousand years, your head slides nervously under his chin. His arm comes down, locking you in, fingers clutching your sleeve in a death grip. Even that snobby little pinky. His head tucks down into you hair. A sharp collarbone bites into your cheek. His heartbeat is hard, fast, and irregular. There's not a scrap of fat on him, and as you wrap your arm around his stomach, you think you see a twitch in his pants. Is that just you being desperate? Or... hopeful? This is really happening. --- Soon, you learn that Tenko is a clumsy kisser. It doesn't matter; the fact that he's kissing you at all is good enough for now. His lips are dry, but not half as dry as you expected. There's a slick of menthol helping things along; he's been using something medicated on his lips. Plus, his mouth tastes like he drank a gallon of mouthwash.
All this thrills you more than a little, because it means he came here wanting to impress you. Wanting you. Full stop. Underneath that minty sting is a strange, worrisome aftertaste, like something rotten. Your brain fires off an alarm. Stop kissing him. Right now. This thing will make you sick. But his hands nervously slide over your body... and you decide not to worry about it. Instead, you kiss him deeper. He makes a sweet, startled little noise. Your brain is a fucking liar. It occurs to you he's probably never done this before.
When you lace your fingers in his and try to pull one of his gloves off, he rips his hand away.
Don't. That’s the only explanation he gives.
No need to ask if it's a quirk thing or a trauma thing. Judging by how jittery he gets, it's probably both. You remember the way his hands almost float over objects without ever holding them. Maybe his touch is dangerous. Maybe that's why his face looks like that.
Maybe you should learn more about him before things go way too far...
No. It can't be that bad. Now that he's in your arms, everything frightening about him evaporates. He's vulnerable. He's alone. He's shaking a little. Has anyone else ever seen this side of him? You want to keep him all to yourself, just like this.
So what if he has to touch you with gloves on? You've heard of worse quirk-related inconveniences.
It's okay, Tenko. Do you want to keep going?
You put his hands back on you and wait for him to kiss you again. It doesn't take long.
---
You open his pants. He's long and thin, calloused even here. Every part of him feels untouched, unloved. You hold him tight and squeeze.
It doesn't seem to occur to him to please you in return. He looks afraid. Confused. You're sure you scared him earlier with the glove thing. Is this too much? No. He gasps and leans into you. The tiniest, broken please.
He cums in your hand right away, face buried in your shoulder, his eyes wet and hidden.
I have to go, he says. Over and over and over.
It's okay, Tenko.
You know he doesn't want to.
- - - - - (oops I wrote more)
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Text
❛ A FIRST DATE ❜
with Johnny ‘Coco’ Cruz.
Request: Can I request a fluffy Coco imagine?? From his POV about their 1st date and his thoughts abt her and stuff? I really want some coco fluff lol. ❤❤🔥
BY ANON
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Word count: about 1.7k
Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!
Gif credits: to the author.
Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!
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“Brother, just be yourself”.
Angel thinks that Coco is giving it more importance than it really has, after trying different outfits, without finding the perfect one. He doesn't have many clothes, because he doesn't really need it. But now, he's really pissed off.
“If I act like usually, she'll kick ma' ass in fucking seconds”. He grumbles sitting over his bed, rubbing his face with both hands.
You two met at the hospital some week ago, when he suffered some kind of accident that left him blind in one eye, for some time. He felt his heart pumping because of love for the first time, when he saw you after cleaning his healthy eye. And before that, he was already truly fascinated by the way you had to calm him down using your voice. A sweet and honeyed tone that he could be listening to his whole life. He couldn't help but think how good falling asleep every night hearing you talking would be. It took him almost two weeks to ask you out, but he couldn't feel more happy when you said yes without letting him finish the question. Coco felt strange when he left the hospital after it, experimenting a bunch of sensations stuck in his chest that made him feel better than ever.
Now, his insecurities are coming into the light. Everything he touches ends up destroyed, broken. You are too pure for his shit. You don't deserve to take that risk. Taking off his phone from his pocket, he searches for your number. Gilly and Angel are looking at him intrigued, until they find out what he's going to do. The big one takes the phone off from his hands, while the oldest Reyes holds him to guide him towards the door.
“You're not gonna flake on her, pendejo”. He grunts, pushing him outside his house.
His brothers follow him to the meeting place, watching you sit on a bench waiting for him, after twenty minutes standing up and walking around the big fountain. You look beautiful, dressed with a pair of shorts, a baggy white shirt with the sleeves rolled up on your shoulders and black sneakers. He turns around, trying to run away from your life again, facing his friends.
“I can't”. He just says, with his hands almost sweating. “She's too much for me”.
“She's perfect for you, man!” Gilly rolls his eyes.
“C'mon, Coco, don' be a chicken and get the girl”.
Licking his bottom lip, he just nods in silence, trying to find the perfect words to encourage himself. Turning over his Vans, he starts his way towards you, doubting for some seconds. And he's about to leave when you raise your eyes from your phone. The smile you draw with the corner of your lips gives him a heart attack, knowing that he could die full of happiness right now.
“Hey, I thought you weren't coming”.
Maybe it wasn't the greeting he was expecting and he feels so sorry for having made you wait. Stroking the back of his head, he forces a grin.
“Yeah… I was… 'bout to not comen'”.
Your gesture turning from enthusiasm to disheartening, causes him some bitter shivers inside his chest. He has already fuck up the good vibes between you two, that borned in the hospital. Seeing you nod in silence, shrugging your shoulders, makes him feel out of air; trying to think something to fix it up.
“I really… appreciate that, at least, you came to tell me that this isn't going to happen… It would be… humiliating”. You whisper putting your gaze away from him.
Coco can see the way your lips are trembling, as if you were about to cry, and it's painful. For him, it's painful.
“No, mami, lis—”.
“It's okay, Johnny, you don't have to excuse yourself”. Waving a hand on air, you try to make it easy for him. “I get it”.
He's missing the boat, watching you turning around and focusing your attention on the screen of your phone again. Maybe typing to some friend to pick you up, maybe about to call anyone else. But finally, the orders from his brain move his body to stop you.
“No, wait!” He says somewhat loud, grabbing your left wrist. “I wanna date you. I wanna have a lot of dates with you. This ain't you, mami, but me”.
Looking at his hand confused, you travel his arm until finding his dark and desperate eyes, talking to you in silence. Begging you to listen.
“My life is a shit. A mess... A chaos. I… had this accident with my eye because… of a dogfight with another gang. I didn' wanna lie to you, you know? I think you're smart, and pretty and… you don' deserve a guy like me who is… always in fuckin' trouble and that… used to ride a bike that probably would never ride again, just… with a shitty work on a scrapyard”. Coco is getting more and more nervous because you're not saying a single word back. He gulps with some difficulty, taking a step closer to you. “I ain't a good man, I don' do good things, but… I really wanna date you, mami. I've never been so true in ma' life”.
And he's about to give up with a crappy sensation running his body, when you tangle your finger with the ones that were gripping your arm.
“Maybe you can teach me to drive a bike, so I can ride for you”. You just say, hoping that it's enough for him.
“That sounds good, ma'”. He replies with no hesitation, feeling like for the first time he's having a good opportunity in his life.
Watching you smile again it's like seeing a rainbow after a destructive storm, putting his arm over your shoulders to start a low walk.
“Do you like pizza?” You ask then, raising your head toward his.
“Yeah, 'course”. He answers with an incredulous gesture on his face.
“Okay, do you know a food truck close to the hospital, with red and blues stripes?”
“No”.
“Seriously?” You almost scream, breaking into laughs. “You like pizza and you have never tried it before?”
Coco shakes his head, falling in love a little more after hearing your laughter. That simple gesture has made him feel more happy than ever before.
“You're gonna really, really love it”. You say with emotion, moving a hand on air to highlight your words.
“I'm sure”. He chuckles nodding. “You look pretty convinced”.
And you weren't wrong. Maybe not everybody would think that sitting on an edge of a sidewalk, eating pizza, it's the perfect date. But for him, it's the perfect one. He can ask for anything else that hearing you talk for hours about your hobbies, about what you would like to be in five years, about the things the two of you have in common. And he has never talked this much, either. But it's too easy for him to follow the conversation and flow it into another one, until the night falls over the town.
Coco insists on walking with you back to your home, just to be sure that you come safe. And even if he has had so much fun, he's doubting if you would like to repeat it. Maybe at the end you were just trying to be kind with him, because he seemed so desperate for being with you for a couple hours, to not make him feel bad. And maybe that was the reason why you didn't want him to take you home. But the real reason is that your housemates are waiting on the porch for you to tell them how it was. As soon as they see you coming closer, they run into the house ashamed and laughing, making your cheeks burn when Coco notices what is going on.
“Sorry, they're like children…” You say hastily, stopping your steps and placing yourself in front of him.
“It's okay, ma'. My… friends are waiting too”.
Between the two of you gets installed an uncomfortable silence for some seconds, until he sees you holding your bag, looking for something inside it. He breaks into loud laughs when his healthy eyes focus on the heart shaped lollipop, that you're offering him.
“I heard you the day you visited the hospital, so… there's your reward for being a good boy”.
Coco takes it, shaking his head and showing you a funny smile, before catching you between his arms. Embracing you tightly, he places a kiss on your cheek. A lovely one. Pulling himself away, he opens the candy to tuck it into his mouth.
“The best one”. He says tasting the strawberry flavor of it.
“Okay, ah… I have three kids to take care of”. You joke about your friends, pointing at your house for a second. “I had so much fun today…”
“Yeah, me too… We can repe—”.
“I'm free tomorrow”.
Hearing you interrupt him, after realizing that he wants to have another date with you. Taking off the lollipop from his mouth, he leans forward to press your lips with his, shortening the distance between both. Feeling your fingers getting tangled in his shirt give him some pleasant chills, ending up pecking your lips gently.
“What about breakfast? I know a place with the best pancakes”. He proposes then, giving you an eskimo kiss.
“I like it”. You nod, kissing his lips a last time.
“Pick you up at ten?”
“Pick me up at ten”.
“Have a good night, mami”.
“You too, pirate”. Puckering your lips, he laughs again. “Enjoy it, you're gonna see again in a couple months”.
He frowns a little confused, drawing slowly a huge smile on his lips.
“Spoiler of your next doctor appointment”.
“Is tha' why you told me tha' I could teach you?”
Walking backwards to your house, he sees you happily nodding.
“'Am gonna marry you one day, you know'et?”
These words may have been somewhat precipitate, or at least that's what he's thinking until seeing you nod again.
“I hope it”.
“Shit”, he thinks to himself, licking again the lollipop; not leaving your hood until you're inside your house.
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sunflowerim · 3 years
Text
I LOVE YOU 3000!
-PART 26
Weekend 2
Harry arrived right on time. Louis opened the door to a warm smile and a basket of chocolate.
"Ok, when I said don't bring pizza, I certainly didn't mean, 'bring loads of chocolates'", Louis laughed, letting Harry in.
"What can I say, I'm such a gentleman," Harry replied with an all knowing smile.
Harry had barely stepped into the apartment when Clifford ran to him. Harry was a bit startled, but soon crouched down and started scratching Cliff behind his ears.
"Someone's not asleep today. How are you Cliffy. You gonna watch a movie with us?", Harry babbled on in a childlike voice as Louis shut the door behind them and moved over to the couch, eyes never leaving Harry.
"Do you know what movie we're watching today?" Louis asked.
"The Incredible Hulk. I've done my research thank you."
"Good," Louis smiled getting the remote. Everything else was already set up.
Harry got up and walked to the couch, Clifford on his heel and as soon as he sat down, Clifford settled himself on Harry's feet.
"So what brought this sudden change of demeanor?" Harry asked, patting Cliff's head.
"Maybe he's expecting more treats."
"Shit. I mean sorry. I didn't get anything for him. I mean I wanted to, but I didn't know if he had any preference or restrictions."
"Chill Harry, I have his food stocked up for a whole month. You needn't get him anything. I was just teasing."
"Oh. Okay."
"You didn't answer my question."
"What was it again?"
"Chocolates."
"Oh that. Well, I saw the stash of chocolates on your fridge the other day, so I got you some more. It was good to know that you have a sweet tooth. But seriously, so many chocolates Louis! One would think you're a five year old."
"Hey, those were not mine."
"Cliff surely doesn't eat those. Do you Cliff?" Harry said, looking down at Clifford during the last bit and scratching his ears, to which he gave a joyful bark. "See, he says no."
"Don't turn my son against me", Louis replied, faux-offended. "No really, those aren't mine. My niece and nephew go to the school around the corner, and they drop by randomly to spend time with their beloved uncle and I spoil them with chocolates."
"How sweet. But am I supposed to believe that you never grab chocolates for yourself?"
"I'm only human Harry. Ofcourse I do."
"Thought as much."
"You wanna see their pictures?"
"Sure."
Louis scrolled in his gallery and pulled out a picture of him holding the hands of two kids on his either side. The shot was taken on a football pitch, Louis wearing a white jersey and the two kids wearing red ones.
"That's Lux and Theo. They accompanied me as mascots that year."
"You play football?"
"What does it look like?"
"No, I mean not just casual games, proper matches! Wow. You're that passionate about it?"
"Yeah, you could say that," Louis smiled at the picture.
"Your niece and nephew are so cute."
"I know right. And you must know they're equally mischievous. Little pranksters."
"Wonder who taught them", Harry teased.
"Cool uncle Louis might have had something to do with it, but you didn't hear it from me."
"Never. My lips are sealed."
"Good."
"That reminds me." Harry fished out his phone and paused. "Do you mind if I get a picture if you?"
"Yeah, but why?"
"I'll save it as your contact image."
"Oh sure."
Louis smiled softly and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He kept staring at Louis through the phone and it wasn't until Louis cleared his throat, that Harry realised what he was supposed to do.
"Just a minute. And--- we're done. Looking good!"
Louis smiled bashfully as he saw Harry open his contact to save the picture. That's when he saw the name.
Lou :)
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Louis melted into a puddle at his contact name on Harry's phone and instantly felt bad about saving Harry's name as simply Harry Styles. Looks too professional. He made a mental note to change it later.
"My turn." Louis focussed his camera on Harry, as the boy smiled widely, dimples popping up. Louis smiled too and took the picture. He looked at it for a second before shoving his phone back in his pocket. "Movie?"
"Yeah," Harry replied, easing back in the couch.
"Yeah. No wait- shit I forgot." With that Louis jumped from the couch and sprinted towards the kitchen. Harry sat confused for a while before Louis re-emerged with a tray containing a huge bowl and two plates and cutlery.
"I hope you like pasta."
"Yeah. Oh. Wow. You cooked for me?"
"Haha no Harold. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I can't cook. I had my helper make it."
"Oh."
"Disappointed?" Louis laughed.
"No no, I was just momentarily surprised."
Louis smiled as he set the tray down on the coffee table and and hit play on the remote.
Once again, Louis watched Harry's reaction with great amusement, but this time, he noticed something else too. He noticed Harry's jaw drop every time, the lead actor got shirtless and how terrified he looked everytime he changed to the huge Hulk.
"Don't get too attached Harry. He's only starring in this movie. A different actor plays Hulk in the rest of the movies."
And Harry looked so sad at that, Louis melted.
"Aww, poor Haz."
Harry's lips quirked upwards at the pet name and from the corner of his eyes he could see Louis tense beside him.
"Um, sorry. I didn't mean to--"
"No, nono it's okay. You can call me Haz. I like it."
"Okay." Louis continued after a pause, "remember when I told you not to call me Lou?"
"Yeah, shit sorry, I know last week it slipped off my tongue once or twice."
"Yeah, no I mean, you can call me Lou too."
"Okay," Harry smiled and returned to the screen.
The time passed by pleasantly between movie, pasta, timid glances towards each other and Clifford switching between Harry and Louis' laps.
After the movie ended, Harry turned towards Louis and held his hand out. "Give me your phone."
"What? Why?"
"Just open your Instagram explore page and give. Don't worry I'll not snoop around."
Louis did as told and Harry typed out a username and and clicked on it.
"Here's my private account." Harry said, handing Louis back the phone. "You can follow me here if you want. I can actually post freely on here."
Louis looked st the screen hs94.
Louis didn't want to check it in front of Harry. So he just smiled and nodded. "I will."
Harry smiled back.
"Guess, I should leave now."
Louis ignored the sad voice in his head that had reappeared again.
"Until next week Louis Tomlinson," Harry called walking out the door.
"Until next week Harry."
And as Harry left, Louis took out his phone and edited Harry's contact.
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PREVIOUS / NEXT
INTRO
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hraunwyf · 2 years
Note
“you gonna eat that?”
@supermantm
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"duh, i'm gonna eat it, you don't save the pizza bones?"
there's a huge pizza box set in front of her, open—five of the slices are gone and the crusts remain, lined up in one corner that is pointedly not the pepperoncini corner, because ew. the container of garlic butter sits nearby, waiting to be opened.
"they're for dunkin', dingus. it'd be better if y'all did ranch on the east coast, though, it's the only good thing about the midwest aside from hotdishes."
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ryvswb · 4 years
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@proximio-5 Asked: Have Wash and Carolina met the girls yet?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Washington, walking alongside Carolina and Weiss on the sidewalk: Well we certainly met one of them. Wait how many of you are there?
Weiss, leading the way towards the pizza place she left Yang and the Reds at: There are four of us.
Carolina, jokingly: Well I sure hope your friends aren't as...rowdy as ours.
Weiss, as the pizza place comes into view: Oh don't worry, We've met the Reds and Blues and I can assure you that we aren't as destructive or as chaotic as these-
Weiss, stopping in her tracks, stunned at the carnage going on at the pizza place: -imbeciles...
*Weiss, Wash and Carolina all stand there in disbelief as they see Adam's unconscious body laying next to Tyrian's poorly parked stolen car, the latter fighting Yang inside the restaurant all the while Grif seems to be shooting at both of them*
Carolina: God...
Weiss:...fucking...
Washington:...DAMMIT!
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Yang, brawling with Tyrian, before taking a volley of bullet, causing her aura to flicker, her eyes turning red as she turns towards Grif: WHERE ARE YOU AIMING AT!?!?
Grif, reloading his rifle: You said you're super power made you stonger when you take damage right? So by shooting both of you not only am I damaging the scorpion asshole but I'm also powering you up AND saving myself the extra effort it would take for me to avoid shooting you!
Yang, after ducking to avoid another volley of Grif's bullets: Your shots still hurt me you dumbass!
Tyrian, kicking Yang in the stomach, sending her flying into a wall: Why thank you for the assist orange boy! We make a great team you and I!
Donut, still calmly sitting in the back of the restaurant: Huuuuh Grif? I really don't mean to hurt your self esteem, but I don't think you're helping very much.
Simmons, poking his head out of his hiding spot under a table: Yeah I think you should just leave this to Yang Grif, she looks like she knows what she's doing........unlike you.
Grif: Oh shut up! If you're gonna complain then why aren't you two helping!?
Donut, in an innocent tone: I just ate! I need to digest before I do any straining physical activity!
Simmons, retreating back under the table: I-I'm huuuuuuh ALERGIC TO SCORPIONS! Yep thats it! *cough cough* sorry can't help...
Grif: I hate you both...
Tyrian, talking to himself: My my! This is almost as easy as the time I sunk Fairgame!
Tyrian, getting clocked in the face by Yang, causing him to recoil backwards and clutch his face: AAUURGH! WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR FAMILY AND PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE!?
Yang, shrugging lightly as a smirk form on her lips: I don't know. You just have a very punchable face I guess.
Donut, cheering from his seat in the back: Yeah do it again Yang! I love a good fisting!
Literally everyone else inside the building including Tyrian: SHUT THE FUCK UP DONUT!
Donut, offended: Alright you know what? Since its seems like I'm not welcome here, I'm just going to go take a light power walk to help my digestion then!
Donut, standing up with a huff and walking towards the front door: If anyone is looking for me I'll be shopping for essential oils!
*Everyone silently and awkwardly watch Donut as he walk trough the ravaged restaurant, past Yang and Tyrian, and finally, leaves trough the front door*
Tyrian, breaking the silence: Okay can we go back to killing each other now?
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Carolina, meeting Donut halfway in the restaurant's parking lot, Weiss and Wash at her side: Donut! What in the world is going on in there!?
Donut, in a frustrated voice: Oh you know, just a bunch of MEANIES too busy fisting each other to appreciate my input!
Weiss, getting flustered: E-excuse me they're doing WHAT!?
Washington, apathetically: Just don't think about it. You'll learn to zone out his innuendos eventually.
Donut, slightly choked up: Now if you'll excuse me, I have some much needed theraphy shopping to do. Weiss. Agent Washington. Agent Carolina.
Donut, looking at Adam, whom is still unconscious on the ground: Mysterious man who got ran over.
Donut, walking away: I hope all of you have a good day!
Carolina: Donut wait! We need your help to stop thi-
Donut, not stopping nor turning around, choking back tears: I SAID HAVE A GOOD DAY!
Carolina, turning back to Wash and Weiss: *sigh* Great! Now what?
Weiss, in a serious tone: We need to formulate a plan. Okay...one of us stays out here to cut off Tyrian's escape, meanwhile the other two-
Washington: Whoaaaa whoa whoa! Why are we wasting our time making plans right now? The fight is already going on! Theres no time!
Carolina: Are you saying we should just waltz in guns blazing!?
Washington, as Yang and Grif can be seen fighting Tyrian trough the restaurant's windows behind him: YES! Theres six of us and one of him! We go in. We shoot him. He dies. Simple.
Weiss, in a matter of fact tone: His aura will protect him from your bullets, its not going to be this simple.
Carolina: Also I can see Simmons trembling under one of the table, I don't think he'll be of any help.
Washington, begrudgingly conceding: Alright fine. You both have a point. But we still outnumber five on one.
*Yang comes crashing trough the window, her aura breaking as she hits the ground*
Weiss, crossing her arms sternly: Now its four on one.
Washington, loosing his patience: We. Are. Still. At an advantage! Lets just go in and kill this guy. BEFORE HE KILLS GRIF. Why should we be afraid of ONE GUY!? Does he have a scary special move that shreds armor in one hit or something!?
Weiss, bluntly: He does actually.
Washington:...
Washington: Goddammit.
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Tyrian, after he sent Yang flying through the window: Heeheehee! She's not part bird like her mom but she sure can fly!
Grif, standing dramatically at the other end of the restaurant: Finally. Now its just you, me...and Simmons pissing himself under the table behind me!
Simmons: Please don't remind him I'm here!
Tyrian, flaunting dramatically, with a huge grin on his face: Oh? Think you can take me on your own chubby boy?
Grif, tense dramatic music playing as he talks: Maybe not...I'm not the strongest. I'm not the smartest. But I have the powers of god AND pizza on my side!
Grif, taking aim: Sayonara motherfucker.
*click click*
Grif, dramatic music screeching to a stop as he realises he's out of ammo:.....oooooooooooooooh shit...
Tyrian:Heeheeheeeee.
Tyrian, breaking into a full sprint towards Grif: HeeheeHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Grif, screaming like a little girl as throws his empty gun along with several other objects at Tyrian, whom effortlessly slashes them all aside with his blades: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Pizza place cashier, his squeaky teenager voice apathetically calling to Tyrian, causing his blades to stop mere inches away from Grif's visor: Sir your order is ready.
Tyrian, reluntantly sheating his weapons and walking towards the counter: *sigh* Just as I was really getting into it.
Grif, completely frozen in place, as Tyrian casually picks up his coat off the ground, accepts his pizzas from the cashier, then leaves:...
Simmons, coming out of hiding once Tyrian is gone: Phew! Glad thats over! Right Grif?........Grif?
Grif: *faints*
Simmons: Oh great now I'm gonna have to carry you're lazy ass.
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Carolina, as she spots Tyrian casually walking to his (stolen) car with his five pizzas in hand, Weiss and Wash too busy bickering to notice: Uuuuummmm guys?
Carolina, as Tyrian gets into his car and starts the engine, Weiss and Wash still not noticing: GUYS!
Carolina, taking a shot a Tyrian's car as he drives away, but failing to stop him: Dammit! He got away!
Weiss: See? If we had gone through with my plan this wouldn't have happened!
Washington: No. We could've prevented this by going in and gank him with our numerical advantage! Your "plan" would've just wasted our time!
Simmons, dragging Grif from inside the pizza place: Will both of you shut up and help me carry Yang and Grif!?
Simmons, his sarcasm causing Weiss and Wash to bow their heads in shame: Thanks for the help back there by the way.
Carolina, nodding her head at Adam, who is slowly regaining consciouness: What do we do about him? Should we call an ambulance?
Adam, slowly standing up and rubbing his face: Uuuugh...what the hell happened? *distant polka music* What the fuck is this music?
Adam, turning towards the source of the music as it grows louder, his vision blurry: Is...is this...what is this a puma or someth-
Ruby, as she unknowingly runs Adam over with the warhog, sending him flying in a nearby open manhole, excitedly calling out: WEISS LOOK! SARGE THOUGHT ME HOW TO DRIVE!!!
Sarge, sitting in the shotgun seat, his voice full of pride: And she only burned three red lights! Kid's a natural!
Carolina, in a very tired tone: What did you say earlier about your friends not being destructive?
Weiss, pinching the bridge of her nose: *SIGH*
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inhumanelyhuman5 · 2 years
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So the cheaper white hot chocolate has to be two sachets and actually it makes a smaller cup than the avalanche ones so it's not much cheaper or better and its 200 calories. MFP won't update the last 2000 steps so the calories are wrong even though I JUST fixed it, so I'm considering skipping the ice cream for dinner. That'll put me at 410 calories in, 422 out. Officially. Actually it's closer to 500-600 calories out. But yeah! It's also now tomorrow lol I hate midnight. But I have two sachets of white hot chocolate with a bit of salted caramel extract/essence stuff and I'm hoping it'll work as a meal cos it's so hot. I do want food though but not sure I want ice cream. Nuts or chips or a pie would be better but actually I'm trying to make up for wanting to do a multiple pizza binge at mums. She didn't message back so I am gonna aim to burn 500 calories a night over the weekend. I will quit immediately, I do not want to or care, but I do feel guilty about all the cheese and calories I almost had and would have if mum had gotten back to me. I'm still at... Oh. Wasn't I 77.9kg this morning? I'm at 77.8kg now. But like I haven't eaten and I walked 6km. Just... Am sleeby actually. And feel worthless for everything.
I just miss bitchboy. I dreamt about him, I think. I could just be demanding he cook food while I am walking so I come back and have to eat even if I didn't burn enough calories. I don't have it in me to force myself, not when I could get an even better deficit just.... Not eating enough. Like Fitbit says I burnt 2500 or so, I think. It reset and I hate the app. I will eat either 410, or 714. If I stick to 410, that's a deficit of... I almost said 1000 then was like no that's way too high then realised no it's a 2000 deficit. A kilo is 7000 calories, give or take. Like... Ya know?
I still can't believe a possum almost ran over my foot though that was cool as fuck they're so tiny in person like a tiny cat or a huge rat like they're just tiny babies! My cats are all bigger than that possum! Poor baby really did hear sounds and ignore them then run into a human. I think if I hadn't flinched it would have sat there or something, like. I wish it wasn't dodgy to feed wild animals cos omg they're babies I love them I wish to feed them apple slices and oranges! Actually they love mangos, which bitchboy's family realised too late after waking up to mango skin everywhere trailing down to the garage. Possums are my favourites for that, they got trapped inside so they came to steal mangos. Mood?
Also wow they found the only fresh fruit that family has ever had, they truly have a fruit bowl on display with wrinkly sad bruised fruit acting like it should be in the open looking like that. It should be in the bin. Get decorative stuff or eat it for fucks sake it's going in the bin anyway when you realise its rotting cos none of you will eat a piece of fruit I had to bring my own lol a family of five and there was NEVER fresh fruit it's insane and fucked up. Truly dodged a bullet, if he'd agreed I'd have married into that family. How fucked up is that? Don't get me wrong, mum never has fresh fruit either really... But she usually has frozen and she seasons her food so you don't think it's all so gross you just try to pass off a piece of fruit as a meal. She has heaps of food so she doesn't need fresh fruit. They had like no food heaps of seasonings they didn't touch and then. No fruit. Some sad wilted veggies. It was... Horrifying. It's why he went weird every time I cooked or baked actually, it tasted more like food than depression. I can't forget to eat, we never did growing up, the food was great and if one of us was sad or sick we'd get take out or mum would make whatever we wanted so we'd eat. The exception being when she would poison me on purpose because she was angry I was allergic to capsicum truly an unstable woman but well meaning and food was happy. It's why I recover so easily once I'm ready to give up on losing weight tbh. I dunno.
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spooky-muldy · 6 years
Text
Emoji Movie Script
Here it is, Spanish version and other languages coming soon:
The world we live in. It's so wondrous, mysterious, even magical. No. No, not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program and app is its own little planet of perfect technology, all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text. Addie McAllister? Must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam. Don't send her your Social Security number. Dude. She's right there. That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, as the pace of life gets faster and faster... Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter and... You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in, the most important invention in the history of communication... Emojis. That's my home. Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. The Christmas Tree just has to stand there all festive. Merry Christmas. It's still September, Tim. The Princesses... I am so pretty. They just got to wear their crowns and keep their hair combed. You guys, we are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up. They just show up, and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Crier always has to cry, even if he's just won the lottery. Hooray! I'm a billionaire! The Laugher is always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. I can see the bone! Now, me, I'm a Meh. So I got to be totally over it all the time, you know, like, "Meh, who cares?" Which is not as easy as it sounds. Morning, Mrs. D. I see you have the little minis with you. They're so cute. That is so adorable, I can't take it! Now I'll never get them to sleep. Stick to your one face, weirdo. No! No! It's hard to always act blase, when living in Textopolis is just so exciting. Hello, good simians. Those are some sharp attaches. Yes, well, we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. I sounded British! Meh. That was really good. Meh. Meh. That was a great... -Whatcha doing there, mate? -Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Boy. I'm gonna be so meh. What are you gonna do? Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Here's my sauce now. G'day, mate. Hey. Konnichiwa. Sorry, emoticons! I hate knocking over the elderly. Here, let me help, let me help. My colon! Is that the time? Hey, my eyes are up here, pal. Yeah! All right! Right on time. So, last week, Alex sends me next to this guy. That kid! Where does he get this stuff? Why are you laughing, freak? Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. In public. He was. I remember. Let's go somewhere more private. I have some bad news, Gene. And I'm afraid you'll have the wrong reaction. Okay. What's the wrong reaction? Anything other than "meh." Come on. I don't want to be late. I'm not letting you go to work today. Wait, what? You're just not ready, son. Come on! Working in the cube is an emoji's whole purpose in life. Everybody my age is working on the phone except for me. Sweetie, that's not true. Yeah! I'm gonna work on the phone, and I'm only 10. That's because I believe in you. Should we wash our hands? No, no, no. We're number two! We're number two! We're number two! See? I... I know I'm different, okay? But when I need to, I can be meh. I just... I want to be a working emoji, you know, like... Like everybody else, and then... Then I would finally fit in, you know? You fit in, honey. No, I don't, Mom. I never have. But I can change all that if you'd just let me. Just give me a chance. But what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? No, Dad, I'll make the right face. Look. Meh... You're so handsome when you make that face. I think he's ready, Mel. Meh. Come on, Dad. Let me prove it to you. If you really think you're ready. I am! Yes! Yes. I promise, I won't let you down. Stop. Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you. It's really her. Pizza! Hey! Your first day on the job. Hi. Hi. Don't be nervous. I won't bite. Hi. I'm Smiler. Don't touch me. Hi! Okay. I mean, hey. As you know, I'm Smiler. I am the system supervisor here because I was the original emoji. Here's how it works. It's nothing fancy. Wait a minute. It's really fancy! You each have your own cube on the emoji bar. If Alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up. It's showtime. The scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to Alex's text box. And let me tell you, guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. You're gonna love it. Really. Now, over here is the favorites section where you'll find all the most popular emojis. And, of course, you'll find my cube here. You are smooth. Just doing my duty. What? What did I say? Rocket looking to party. Come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted. Steven, for the last time, I don't want to buy a time-share. Come on, man, it's Hi-5. You know me, I'm a favorite. Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. And if he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. It's got to be some sort of mistake. I mean, look at me, I'm an attractive hand giving a high five. Fist Bump. Come on in. Hey. Fist Bump? He's a knucklehead. Literally. Look at him. I can look like that. Cramp. Huge mistake. Help. Help me. Help up the hand. There you go. Thanks, mate. Hey, little Meh, how about you create a distraction, and then I'll just slip under the rope? Is someone lost? Smiler, hi. Just leaving. Yeah, you know, just killing time before I go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even see me anymore! You may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place in the cube. Yeah, in the nosebleeds. I'm standing right here. Words hurt. The most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself. Blah. I was made to be happy, so I am always smiling. Places, please. Emojis to your cubes. Attention. We've got incoming. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. My gosh, my own cube. I can't believe it. I could put a plant over here. And over here could go an inspirational calendar. Okay. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. Look at our son down there. I'm just beaming with pride. You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? Hie-ro-gly-phics. Hieroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. Does that remind anyone of anything? Hello? A language of pictures. Anyone? Early hieroglyphs date back as far as 3,300... I got to reply to Addie's text. What should I write? Nothing. Words aren't cool. Okay. Be cool. Be cool. All right, Alex is not sure how he wants to play this. I would really love it to be me. Beam me up! Beam me up! I need Thumbs Up on standby. Yeah! Thumbs Up is going in! Wait! Alex is changing his mind. He's moving. Okay. Looks like it's gonna be Meh. I'm so nervous, I could almost shrug. We are go for Meh. Initiating scan. Okay. You can do this. I can't do this! I can't do it! What is this? Stop the scan! I can't! It's too late! Meh, meh, meh, meh. My goodness, I'm freaking out! What's he doing? He's making the wrong face! Good for him! Little... Wait, what? Be meh! Be meh! Be meh! Abort! Abort! Shut it down! Shut it down! What is that emoji? Wrong emoji sent! Evacuate the Meh cube! Evacuate the cube! I got to get out of here. Get that bozo out of there! I'm trying! No! My God. The humanity. Medic. Sorry, everybody. That was not what I meant to do. I kinda... I kinda panicked. Are you even a Meh at all? Course he is. He's my spitting image. If you have expressions other than meh, what you are is a malfunction. Malfunction? No! I can be meh. Just give me one more chance. That's not gonna happen. You know what would be really fun? A board meeting. Where we could figure out what to do with you! I knew there was something wrong with him. A malfunction? What's gonna happen to him? He can't work on the phone. What would Alex think? What do his parents think? I just wanted to be useful, you know? Fit in. Now everybody thinks I'm a malfunction. I am a malfunction. Even if you are a malfunction, Gene, your mom and dad still love ya. I knew you weren't ready. Let's get you out of here and take you home. One day, all this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. Until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. Wait. You want to hide me away? You're embarrassed of me. It's for your own safety. We're trying to protect you, son. Gene? Where are you going? I'm not gonna run away from this. I'm an emoji, and even though I'm not sure exactly which one, I've got to have some sort of purpose here. I know it. Gene, no. Sweetie, please. Boy. A malfunction... Order! Order! The motion is carried. So, how'd it go, Gavel? Hey, Light Bulb, tell me what's going on in there. What? Poop, what is it? Tell me, turd. Tell me true. What happened? I know it was an accident. We all have accidents. You're so soft, Poop. Not too soft, I hope. Gene! We were just gonna come looking for you. Why don't you come inside the boardroom, and we can have a teeny, weeny chat. Um, I came up here to defend myself, but you seem pretty happy. So, good news? Right. I'm always happy. Right. Hashtag truth. Well, the only thing that could ever make me unhappy is if one of our emoji team made a mistake, which caused Alex to lose faith in the phone. And then our whole world gets wiped out. Smiler, I double-pinky-swear promise to you that I will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. We know you won't, Gene. We know you won't. You know, the first time you said it, it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and then, that was weird. That's because we're setting you up with our best Anti-Virus Bots. So, they'll like... They'll just... They're gonna fix me? Actually, delete you. But yes! If you get deleted, you don't have to worry about what your purpose is or the future or why you're such a malfunction. 'Cause you're deleted, right? All right, good talk. Bots! No! Don't let him escape! Party time! Wait a minute... The air is better here. Beer, Tea. I'm Coffee! Sorry. Sheesh. So edgy. My old cube. Take a hike, Mike. -My name's not Mike. -What? There's AV Bots coming! For me? Just because I'm in the wrong section? Holy deleto! What do we do? Quick! This way! Let's go. Don't tell anyone you're about to see this. They'll never find us down here. Where are we? The basement? No. Welcome to the Loser Lounge, where the emojis who never get used hang out. Go fish, Fish Cake With Swirl. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. I almost got deleted. Me, Hi-5. Hey. What's up, Hi-5? They weren't trying to delete you. They were trying to delete me. You? What's so important about you they'd send out an entire team of Bots? They say I'm a malfunction. You bringing malfunctions in here now, Hi-5? For crying out loud, Abandoned Luggage, that had better not be my leftover Chinese food. What Chinese food? Do you have any idea what it's like to be living large, hashtag blessed, the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? Here, will you hit my calluses for me? At least you're a working emoji. That's all I ever wanted. Well, if that's all it'll take for you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. It's not that complicated. Where would I find a hacker? In the Piracy app. Duh. Who took my clear nail polish? Piracy app? To get there, I mean, I'd have to leave Textopolis. So? I've done it. Would you be a brother? One of the Princess emojis left the phone altogether. Now she lives on the cloud. That is good. I'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's Jailbreak. Jailbreak? That's great! Reprogrammed. I just need to be reprogrammed, and then, I can finally be the Meh I was meh to be. Help me find that hacker, Hi-5. Will you? Please? Maybe this hacker could help you, too. Like rewrite some code, get you into the favorites section. Wait a minute. I've been trying to use my charisma and sense of entitlement to get me back on top, but all I need is a hacker. Today's your lucky day. Let's roll. Hey, can I come, too? Talk to the hand, Red Wagon. I thought I was. Bye, Felicia. Ciao, Fish Cake with Swirl. Daddy's heading back to the VIPs where he belongs! Wait. What about the Bots? Good point. Good point. Ouch! Hey. I shouldn't have picked the cactus. I just... I shouldn't have picked it. You didn't even try to get the tree. It's baffling. Let's go. Hi-5? Hello? Hi-5? Where are you? I'm right here! Gene! Here we are, end of the text app. No way. Come on, Gene. It's perfectly safe. Gene, help me! The wallpaper monster's got me! No! Hold on, hold on! Hi-5! No. This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Hi-5! I'm... I'm just messing with you. It's one of those rubber finger-monster puppets from the '80s. I collected the whole set. All right, you coming? What do I do? What do you mean? Just take a step through the other side. This is it. The next time I come back here, I'll be a real Meh. Hi-5? No! Are you finished? Where are we? Welcome to the Wallpaper. This place is incredible. Each app is its own unique world. That's my face. You're on my... Thank you. What is this place? WeChat. It's like a whole other world. It is. What are they? They're Bubble Pups. They might be cute, but, man, are they clingy. Whee! They're stickers, Gene. Try to get with the program. This is so cool. Wait. What's in that one? -Guys, look at this picture. -Look at my baby. This is what I ate for breakfast. -This is what I ate for lunch! -Here's me on a hike! Here's me in the gym! Here's me in the bathroom! Everybody's talking about themselves. How does he know so many people? None of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. I... I think I'd... I think I'd rather just have a real friend. A real friend? How's that gonna get you anywhere? What you need are fans. They give you complete and unrelenting support. As long as you're on top. Poor Gene. I blame myself. I blame you, too. I just wanted to be supportive. You just wanted a vacation. You take that back, Mel Meh. Bots. If they haven't found Gene by now, he must have skipped town. You mean the Wallpaper? Our boy's on the run. How about we find him ourselves? Yeah, for sure. Tell all Bots to follow those Mehs. I'm sure they'll know all the freaky-deaky apps Gene will hide out in. I'm really good at making plans, you guys. Right? Here we are. The Piracy app. This is where we'll find Jailbreak. Um... But this is the Dictionary. That's just what Alex wants his parents to think. This is called a skin. Really? What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? Just try to keep up. This place can get a little rough. Ahoy, mateys. Look who's back! Hi-5! I'm a bit of a celebrity here. Always welcome.! Loser! Come on. Follow me. Great. Emojis. I thought the conversation just got dumber. Internet trolls. Just ignore them. Eventually, they'll get a job or a girlfriend or some sort of purpose in life, and they'll stop. Virus. We'll just... We'll just walk over this way. Hi! It's so great to see you again. Do I know you? It's Spam. Just sign here and I can get you special discounts on vitamins and credit card offers that can save you up to 25%. No, no, no, don't get sucked in. Back off, Spam! It's the only way to deal... Back off! Thank you very much! You can illegally download our CD right here. Hey, Trojan Horse. How are you? Yeah, what'll it be, hand? I'll have a bottle of "Hack Daniel's." Maybe with a plate of cheese and hackers? You trying to find a hacker? You can just ask, you know. Sorry. Um, yes. We're looking for a hacker named Jailbreak. I know a guy that can hook you up. Right over there. He looks capable. No, not him. Her. Wait. He's a she? Hey, Jailbreak. Mind if we join you? Yes. That's the thing about the Internet, isn't it? You can never tell if someone's being ironic or sincere. I sincerely, unironically want you to go away. That's a good one. So, here's the thing. My friend Gene here has a little problem. Well, see, I'm supposed to be a Meh, but I don't really feel... Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's good. And we thought you could help, since you got the Princess, you know, off the phone. Not interested. Hold up. That's not a Meh face. Bots! They're after me! How are you doing that? Look, it's just something I can do. Can you help us? Follow me. Bots! Delete my history! I corrupted the entire hard drive. I made the most delicious cinnamon buns. Maybe if there was something to, you know, jog my memory. Come on! Move! Hey, Trolls, why is that mailbox wearing a tuxedo? Hi! It's so great to see you again! Call me! This tunnel will get us out of here. Move! Did that cloud taste sweet to you?! Help me! Help! I'm stuck! Sweet motherboard! Where am I? Get me out of here. Hey, Palm Face. Try getting him out the top! Already on it! Hold tight, Gene. This feels very odd, and it smells. I mean, it smells good, it smells delicious, but I still don't like it. The game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're weirdly misshapen, you know? What are we gonna do? Stay very still. Don't worry. We've got your back. Right, Hi-5? Hey, Fingers! You want to focus? For your information, I happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very serious... Listen, Finger Head! We have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up. I don't want to blow up. We have to match up the candies, so that Gene will drop to the bottom. And we can't match him with any yellows, or else... Don't do that. Please don't do that. Watch. Match three in a row. Don't blow Gene up. Got it. And we have to be very careful. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Careful. -Candy! Watch it! Hey! No! No, no, no! Slow down. Not the yellows! Not the yellows. I said careful! My mom just joined Facebook. Can you believe she wanted to friend me? Hey, Addie, I was just wondering if you are... Tasty. What? Um... Excuse me? Sweet. Hey, Addie! Hi, Nikki. See you later, Alex. Sugar Crush. So over this. Wireless Wireless. How may I help you? I'd like to make an appointment. It's like this phone is playing games with me. Hey, what does this do? No! Get me out of here! No! Stop it! Stop, stop! It's not working. Well, there's one option left. We line you up with the yellows. But you said not to do that. Special candies get transported to that jar. The game might think you're a special candy. And what if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? Well... Jailbreak, hello? Hello, Jailbreak? Sorry. What if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? I'm not too worried about it. Okay, just do it. Gene! Gene? Hey. No! Gene! You're alive! You were trying to see if I had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? Yes, I was. And you have not. Hey. Looks like something popped up on Alex's calendar. I'm sure it's nothing. Alex made an appointment at the phone store. No! Calm down, everyone! Calm down. Don't worry. Everything is fine. Maybe Alex just wants to buy some accessories. His appointment is with technical support. Well, I'm sure we still have plenty of time to figure this out. His appointment is for tomorrow. Then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance. Actually, it's to erase the phone. Listen, Gene, I'm about to become your knight in shining armor. You are? Yeah. But first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. That's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. The cloud? Isn't that off the phone? Ding, ding, ding, ding. You got it. Yeah, the cloud. Off the phone. We're in Candy Crush, obvs. I know a shortcut to Just Dance, which is right next to Dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. Of course. Just Dance, then boogie over to Dropbox, catch the link, and zoom. Hold up. Here's the stinker. Before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this firewall. The firewall uses face identification. Yeah, the firewall. Which is really annoying, because I've already tried to get through. Guessed wrong once, and now I'm locked out for life. Locked out for life? You're thinking, 'cause I can make different faces, the firewall will think I'm different emojis. Yeah. I wanted to say it 'cause it was my idea. You know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. You know what... Well, then let's hit the road. Hi-5, you coming? I'm coming! Why do I always think I'm gonna come around on black licorice? My precious. Hey! Move it! Certain death, here we come. Let's try this one. YouTube? What a visual treat. And I don't even need a remote. That guy is so expressive. He reminds me of Gene. Yeah. Something really wrong with him. Our son is a malfunction, and you should never have let him go into that cube. Don't blame me for this, Mel. I am hopping mad at you. See? Mary, I think we're being followed. But don't overreact. I told you not to overreact. What are you doing now? They'll be in there for hours. Mary, where are you going? I think we should go our separate ways, Mel. I thought I knew the Meh that I married, but maybe I don't. But, Mary... This tunnel will help us avoid the Bots. Thanks for helping us. It's really nice of you. NBD, dude. The truth is, you're helping me. Come on, let's move it. Why so slow? Hi-5, stop. Why are you getting so close? What's with you? Back off. Can't stop now. I'm having a sugar rush! I'll go around you. If I stop moving, my heart's gonna explode! Coming through, Jailbreak! Look out! Hey! Watch it, Knuckle Butt! I can't feel my face. So, Jailbreak, back there you said I'm helping you. I've been trying to get past that firewall for months. Come on, come on! The faster we get there, the faster I become a favorite! Look at me! I just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud. What just happened? You don't like it here? There's so many rules here. What is up with that? The cloud is supposed to be amazing. There's so much to see and do. Sugar crash. I can't hold on anymore. Catch me, Gene. Catch me! And you can be whoever you want. Thanks. You're free! Come on! My gosh, my hands are sweating. You are a hand! Yeah! You know, come to think of it, I don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. Um, you know, you're taking up too much of my brain space. Let's keep the chitchat to a minimum. Someone likes you. What are you talking about? This is just like when Peace Sign gave me just one finger. I knew she was in love with me. Let's go! I'm never eating another piece of candy ever again. Hi-5, don't do it. Don't you do it. It's already been in there once. Don't do it. Are my fingers getting fat? I'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. Okay. We get through this app, and Dropbox is right on the other side. We just need to keep it super DL in here. And no matter what, we can't turn it on. OMG, this turned it on! What? I'm a hand. It's a big, red button. What's happening? No, no, no, no, no! Welcome to Just Dance! Follow my moves and you get to move forward. Do the wrong moves and you get an "X." Three strikes and you're out. Out? What does she mean by "Out"? Digital death. Thanks to you, Fingers. Now we're gonna have to dance our way out. Which is all right with me, 'cause I can shake it like Michael. Or Michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to dance? This is bad, Gene. I can't dance. I got no groove. Come on. Everybody can dance. Not me, okay? I'm really stiff. See? I can't... Don't understand. Okay. No, no... Stop, stop. She has to stop. I see now what you are saying. Just follow her moves. Ready to dance in three... This I can't do. Two... Dude... Just shut up and... Dance! It's too easy! Hee-hee! Shamone! Jailbreak! I got you. Look. Just feel the music. Express yourself. Through dance? Yeah, you got it! Go, girl! Now throw some sauce on that dance burrito. I'm doing it! I'm fully nailing this dance! You got it! Great job! You're moving on to free dance! Impress us with your moves to move forward. More dancing? You're killing it, Gene! Slay! Nice! Shake it, Gene. You won't break it. Wait a minute! I've never seen that dance before. What's it called? Um... The Emoji Pop? I love it! What? You do? Everybody, do the Emoji Pop! Hoo! Yes! Princess. You're the Princess emoji? You never got off the phone. Welcome, new players! What? Who? No! We got to go. Don't worry. They're robots. They can't dance. Downloading funk protocol. "Can't dance," he says. Move! Congratulations. You're a disco diva. Hey, Alex, you gonna dance for us? Alex, that's extra homework for you. Hey, Alex, you gonna shake it? No! No, no, no, no, no, no! Alex must be deleting the app. Watch out! We got to get out of here. Come on! This song is my jam. Hi-5, come on! Let's go! Hurry! Hi-5! Gene! I got you! Gene... Hi-5! Gene. Hey, wait. Where's Hi-5? Alex trashed the app. And Hi-5 right along with it. Wait, what? Wait, trashed? Hi-5 is in the trash? He wanted to dance. But I knew it was a bad idea. We got to get him out of there. Gene, Dropbox is right here. That's our ticket to the cloud. And the trash is on the other side of the phone. We don't know how many other Bots are out there. I'm sorry. No way. We can't go without Hi-5. I don't care how far away it is. That's my friend down there. I'm not just gonna leave him to get deleted. What? What is it? I've always just thought you got to look out for number one. Well, what good is it to be number one if there aren't any other numbers? Okay. I'm sorry. This is my malfunction. I just... I can't be meh about anything. This is why I'm going to get reprogrammed. Well, it's actually kind of cool. Wait, really? You know, I think I know a shortcut. We can take the music streams in Spotify. Let's go give that big hand a hand. Come on. Alex trashed the Just Dance app, and our Bots are offline, and it's giving me a real headache. I am so angry. I really need to stay happy. Can we please lighten the mood? No one can resist una fiesta! Not that happy. We've only got four hours before Alex's phone appointment. If they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all gonna be wiped. Yeah. She said, "Wiped." Aim higher, Steven. I didn't want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. The illegal upgrade. Now that makes me happy. I just want to dance. Dance, please. Arr! Quiet, you sassy gypsy. Where am I? Hi! It's so great to see you again! You're in the trash, Fingers for Brains. Get away from me, Troll. Hi! It's so great to see you again! I got to get out of here. You can't. And at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we're all gonna die! No. No, no! This is the last face you will ever see. No! This is Spotify? Yep. Every one of those streams is a different song. Is it safe? Yeah! Are you sure this is a good idea? Fastest way to the trash, dude! Could we at least pick a calmer stream? Okay, buzzkill. Alex. A bunch of people are hitting the promenade. I think Addie might be there, too. That's perfect! I have an appointment down there, anyway. I've got to get this phone fixed. Hey, bubble butt. Yeah, you do. Much better. So, I got to ask. Is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies, and... Hello, stereotype. That is a complete and total myth. I'm sorry. Did you realize that on the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whoever you want to be. Get ready. Whale song coming. -Wait, wait. Whale what? -A whale song. From Alex's biology presentation. You're not gonna see that sitting around in a cube. It's funny. You want out of the cube, and I want in. Gene, if that means you can't be yourself, what's the point? You know, I think you're pretty cool just the way you are. We're gonna need this. In the trash? Me? I used to be somebody. Here I am. Look. In an old e-mail Alex never sent. "Addie, blah, blah, blah, blah, bla-la-la-la." And then there's me, Hi-5, right there, doing my job. FYI, nobody cares about you. Just leave me, Troll, and let me die in this dump alone. Let me look for the world's smallest violin in here, so you can play it. It's the Hand Angel of Mercy. She's finally come for me. Give me your hand! I mean, give me yourself. Take my hand, angel. I'm ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. It's me, Gene! Gene? I got him! Take me with you. Hi-5! Let go of me. Don't leave me down here! You were wrong, Troll. People do care about me. And I'm not upset, Troll. Do you see how not upset I am? Gene, you came back for me. You saved me. It wasn't just me. Jailbreak helped, too. And she's a hugger. Give her a squeeze. No, no, no. There really is nothing greater than the feeling of being truly free. You filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, but I was once one of you, so I, too, feel your pain. Now go. Be free! Should be smooth sailing from here. Gene. Gene. Gene? Are you Instagramming? Where is my Gene? Mary. You've really done it this time. No, you haven't. Mel? What are you doing in Alex's trip to France album? I was looking for you. None of this is your fault, Mary. It's mine. What do you mean? Is that a tear on your cheek? It's my fault Gene is the way he is. I have other expressions, too. I think they've just been buried away. But with Gene going missing and thinking I might have lost you, too... Mel. Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know myself. Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. Mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red-hot flame. I like that, Mel. Let's go find our son. Together. We'll always have Paris, Mary. So, you're a princess. I saw your little tiara. Very fancy. Is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly down from... That's what I said! No, guys! That's a stupid myth! What software version are we living in? Go read an e-book. Educate yourselves. Just look behind you. What the... What is that? Smiler must have upgraded her Bots. Let's get out of here before it... Hi, Gene. Remember me? Smiler. I'm coming to you live from the amphitheater. Why don't you come back to Textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? My friend here will escort you, all right? I'm gonna see you soon, buddy. Bye, now. We're actually gonna delete him in front of everyone. Psst! It's still on! It's still what? Jiminy Sassafras! Move! Separate! Tangle him up! Jailbreak! Gene! This way! It's still after me! Let's go. We have to make it to Dropbox. Yes! No! Go low! Don't worry. It can't get in. It's illegal malware, and this app is secure. Come on. Welcome to Dropbox. You are about to leave the phone. Remain seated, please. You might want to hang on. Why do they call this Dropbox, anyway? This is why! I see that now! Yeah! I think we're about to see that candy corn again! We made it. Hoo! Guys, guys, chill. We still have to get past that. Holy... Yeah. Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? All right, here goes. What do I do? Sit in the corner and don't say a word. Keep those sausage fingers to yourself. Yes, Your Majesty Princess of Nightmares! Now, Gene, step onto the password icon, and I'll feed you the passwords. Okay. Okay. 10-11-2002. 10-11-2002. Access denied. Okay, try a different expression. Is it gonna blast me every time I mess up? Yeah, kinda. What do you mean, "Kinda"? Ready? Welcome to the firewall. His favorite food. Chimichangas. Chimichangas? Access denied. This might take a while. Boy. Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Major Lazer. Major Lazer. Abuela Dora! Skate or die. Access denied. Denied. I don't get it. We've tried all the important things in Alex's life. His favorite pet, sport, his favorite grandma. I'm sorry, Gene. I let us all down. You know, if I had to come up with a password, I'd probably use the name of a girl I liked. I've been all over the phone. He's never mentioned a girl. Yes, he has. Hi. When I was in the trash, I read a very interesting e-mail, but I'm just the dunce in the corner, forbidden to speak. What e-mail? Sorry, what? What e-mail? To a girl at school. He was declaring his feelings of love for her. I guess instead of sending it, he tossed it in the trash. Hi-5, this is very important. What is her name? Her name, yes. Excellent question. It was Tina. Karen. Marge. Lindsey. Alison. Sarah or Lupita. I want to say Lupita, but that doesn't feel right now I'm saying it out loud. Jennifer. Got to find that e-mail. Phillipa. I think I can access the trash. Annabelle. -I got it! Addie! -Yes! Yes! That's it! Addie! I knew I'd get there. "Dear Addie, you and I, we're like diamonds in the sky. "You're a shooting star I see, "a vision of ecstasy. "Shine bright like a diamond." And he used a high five, see? I guess now we know why he trashed it. Shade. Guys, should we try this? Addie. Access granted. Snap. This place is amazing. The cloud. I can't believe it. One little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. I guess we should make you a Meh before that Bot comes back? So, we're gonna... We're gonna do that now? We had a deal. Right? Yeah, okay. Right. I, guess I'll start hacking. We did it, Gene. All our dreams are coming true. I'll be an Alex favorite again, and you'll be a real Meh. Yeah! Yeah, but this all seems kind of super-fast now, though. Doesn't it? Hi-5, I just didn't expect to be having these feelings right now. Well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. So, I've been... I mean, um... Ever since we... Jailbreak, you're the coolest, most interesting emoji I've ever met. And after all the adventures that we had, I'm just not sure I want all that to go away, because my feelings right now are, like, huge. I just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way I am. If it means I could stay here with you. Like, forever. Forever and ever and ever. Maybe longer than that even. Like in the fairy tales. Like, what is "? Is that a good "? Gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then I am all about that. I like you just the way you are. But I had a plan. Right. I'm not just some princess, Gene, waiting for my prince. I mean, what you said was beautiful, but... Gene. You're all meh. The source code worked! Turns out I didn't need it. For the first time in my life, meh is all I feel. No! Gene! Hi. I have an appointment. I'm a little early. No problem. I can take you right now. Jailbreak! Don't do that! That freaky huge Bot has got Gene back inside the phone. What? He left looking more meh than the meh-est meh face I've ever seen. What did you say to him? It's what I didn't say. We've got to go get him. How are we gonna get in there in time before he gets deleted? I can't believe I'm doing this. You tell anyone you saw this, and I'll crack more than those knuckles. Birds do love princesses! It's not a myth. It's not a myth at all! What happened to becoming a favorite? Guess I'd rather have one real friend. And let's go get him. I can't wait to see the look on Gene's face! Look at that expression. Is that for realizing you've put all of Textopolis at risk, causing Alex to question our reliability? Hey, that's going too far, even for me. If we can delete this malfunction before his appointment, they'll discover there's nothing wrong with the phone. Any last words? Meh. Well, it's too late for that. Delete him! Wait. You delete Gene, you'll have to delete me, too. I have the same malfunction Gene does. Dad? Gosh, I don't know what to do. Yes, I do. Bot! No! Sorry, Mrs. Meh. I did not see that one coming. Smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. Really? How about you're next? I was wrong, Gene. I should've believed in you all along. What a touching daddy-son reunion moment. It reminds me of the time I deleted you both. Wait. That's this time! Delete the two malfunctions! No. How's that for an... Great. I can't reach! No! What did you do to my beautiful... My tooth. Hand, button. Jailbreak? Gene. You really are a Meh. What happened to looking out for number one? Being number one doesn't matter if there aren't any other numbers. Alex's appointment! He's deleting the phone! No, no, no! Show me Alex. Are you sure you want to delete everything? Do it. Red alert! Red alert! Alex, no! Game over. Fellas, I'm afraid this is last call. Dude, Addie's here. You should go over. Every time I try, I screw it up. I don't know how to tell her how I feel. If we help Alex connect to Addie, maybe he won't delete us. I might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. But we'll only have time to send one. Maybe I should go. He has love in his eyes. Send me. Alex looks nervous, too. He's more shy than nervous. Stop! It's Gene. He's all of those things. An emoji should only be one thing. Really? The Princess! Linda! Not now, Mom! Gene, you got this. That's not me anymore. But I have to try. It's starting! No, it's ending! I'm working on it. Mom? Dad? No. I'm in. Last time I was in this cube, I screwed everything up. Gene, why do you think I came back? It's because of you. Me? It's all inside of you, Gene. Just try to bring it back. And do you. Hi-5! I don't want to wave good-bye. It's now or never, Gene. Jailbreak, now! Check out this emoji. No way. Hey, I got your text. That's one super-cool emoji. I know, right? A lot of feelings in one. I get it. I like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings. Yeah. That's me. So, do you think you'd want to... Yes. I'd love to go to the dance with you. Hey, excuse me. We made it! I could've lost you, Peter Pinkie. Or you, Reggie Ring Finger. Even you, Tiberius Thumb. Change your mind? Yeah, maybe it's weird, but... I'm gonna hold on to it. Gene, you did it! You saved us all! Mel. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene. Gene. Gene. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! They love us! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! They love both of us! Hey, what up, Gene? Slap me some skin. And a little porridge for the pinkie. Hey, Hi-5, save me a dance for later. As long as you're not all hands again. Back on top of the hand pile. You're not on the list. -Wait, what? -What's going on? From now on, everyone is welcome! Wait, what is all this? It's for you, Gene. Everybody, the Emoji Pop! This is jazzy. Yeah. Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! We are out of Alex's pocket, emojis. This is not a butt dial. To your cubes. -Are we up and running? -Roger that. Good, 'cause we got incoming. Looks like it's gonna be Gene. Hey, Gene, ready to try out your new cube? In three, two... Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=the-emoji-movie
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mego42 · 3 years
Note
🌹 for the next chapter of song please!! I can’t wait 😝
for you? anything!! (also am giddy bc I have stuff! look ma i didn’t abandon my wip!!!)
“Hey man, what can I interest you in?” JT leans forward, gearing up to deliver the pitch he’s spent the morning perfecting. “We’ve got cards for all occasions: birthdays, thank you, holidays—not just the big ones, we’ve got some over here for wild shit like donut day. I think there’s a bubble wrap one, did you know there’s a national bubble wrap day?”
send me a 🌹 and i’ll send you a snippet that more or may not be a single line.
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dreamculture · 7 years
Conversation
Interview with Slow Caves.
What's your favorite thing about tour?
Jakob: These days I like being on tour more than I like regular life because I feel like when I'm on tour I'm more structured. Like with my suitcase, I really like packing things in the morning. I don't know that gives me a lot... so much joy. Then when I come home I feel like I have noting to do especially now that it's summer vacation. I get like really depressed. So I think tour physically gives you happiness. Like packing the van, packing your stuff everyday. Besides going to new cities everyday like obviously that's amazing but like that's what I'm missing the most. That's what I'm excited for.
David: My favorite thing is hanging out with these guys everyday. Things that happen and like inside jokes. Stuff that we would never get to experience if we were all just working day jobs and doing stuff like that. Yeah that's what I like.
Oliver: Um what I love about tour is sort of the escapism as far as the personality. We all sort of become very different people along the rode and we're crude, and we are obnoxious. We are laughing all the time and we are always eating junk food, maybe drinking too much at times.
David: McDonald's
(A friend brings up chips and cookies on pizza. Something Oliver recently tried)
David: Yeah could you explain that to us real quick?
Oliver: Uhhhh I will explain it. It was delicious and uh that's all I really have to say about that. But I love that about tour. When I come back I have a hard time readjusting to everyday life and I'll say really stupid stuff that I would say on tour to co-workers and I'm like nope that's not a thing people actually say It's just we've been saying that for two weeks to each other but that's fine. Yeah I don't know seeing these guys twice a week doesn't really help me come back from that so every time we go on tour and come back a part of you that you were before tour... dies. A new part of you is born and slowly you just become the worst person.
Jakob: One other thing that is really sick is that we play with bands that we don't know or bands that we really like. This last tour we played with a band called White Reaper. They are one our favorite bands right now. Not just because we played with them but because It was really sick playing with a band that we loved.
Who are some of your musical inspirations?
A Friend: Beach Boys?
Jakob: Oh yeah!
Oliver: Can we do a top five is that allowed?
Me: Yeah do whatever you want.
Jakob: Um... okay so Beach Boys songwriting wise, guitar wise Johnny Marr. He's probably the guitar played that influences me most. From The Smiths I love The Smiths. Um... uh The Strokes, Grouplove. Is that four or five?
David: I don't know.
Jakob: Beach Boys, The Smiths, what did I say? The Strokes, Grouplove, and The Cri... wait uh that's my answer.
David: Alright you go Oliver.
Oliver: Alright for me it's gonna be John Frusciante for sure, Um Julian Casablancas from The Strokes, The Cribs, um maybe Nirvana?
Jakob: Oh!!! (As he's wearing a Nirvana shirt) I also got another one.
David: Loser!
Oliver: I got one more right?
David: You can take some of mine.
Oliver: What do I choose for number five? Skaters for sure yeah they're a huge influence. They're amazing. They have this way with chords and with melody and with lyrics. It's so effortless but at the same time... I don't know... never boring.
Jakob: Their new record is insane. There's Jackson.
Jackson: What's going on here?
David: This is weird man.
Oliver: We are listing our top five influences.
Jackson: Top five influences... Jakob, Oliver, David, My Mom, and Trevor.
(We gave Jackson a bracelet we made him since he was gone the last time we saw them.)
Jackson: Thank you much appreciated.
A Friend: It might fall apart I'm nor sure.
(It starts to fall apart)
David: That happened to mine but I still have it. I was playing the whole time and it just slipped off. I still have it I just still haven't fixed it yet.
Jakob: I haven't even taken mine off.
Me: David do you have any?
David: Yeah okay mine are The Strokes, Arctic Monkeys, um right now this band called Hoops. They're my favorite guitar sounding band right now. Um... another one I like is Windy and Unknown Mortal Orchestra. So those aren't like necessarily my main influences but like right now that's what I like to listen to.
Oliver: Can I just add Guided By Voices and the new Beach Fossils album.
Jakob: Are you going to that? (Beach Fossils show)
Me: Yeah!
Oliver: I'm probably going to go. Should I just buy one right now?
David: Buy one right now.
What was the best show you've ever played?
Oliver: Redrocks.
David: That was really cool.
Jakob: That was insane. It was such a moment.
Oliver: I think about our lives before Redrocks and after Redrocks.
Jakob: BRR and ARR.
Oliver: Or you could say post Redrocks and past Redrocks. That's PRR and PRR. That doesn't work. Let's clear it up it's too confusing.
Any funny band stories?
David: Oh god.
Oliver: Oh funny stories from Slow Caves. One time Jakob... it was our last night on tour and Jakob was putting the furniture from the hotel in the van like as we were trying leave.
David: It was hilarious.
Oliver: He took the lampshade off and put a chair in there and was trying to like take the TV out. It was so funny. He was trying to take the bed off.
Jakob: I totally did that.
Oliver: It was like two am in the morning we had to go.
David: Like what are you doing dude put that stuff down!
Oliver: Yeah that's probably my favorite story.
Jakob: I feel like we should each have one.
David: I don't know.
Oliver: What about that time you and Jackson almost got arrested?
Jakob: Ohhh! okay alright so we were in Philly and we were playing this like DIY show. It was supposed to be a house show but it was a DIY show and um since it was a DIY show it was really loud. The cops came and we were skateboarding out front... okay we were trying to skate off of our van and because the cops didn't know that it was our van they assumed we were just some hoodlums in Philly skating off someone's van. The reason I started off saying it was DIY show is because I guess cops know that space like they're frequent in that area a lot. But the cops were understanding. We talked to them a little bit. They were cool. It was sketchy. Philly was really janky.
Where's one place you would like to play a show?
Oliver: I'm sorry what was the question?
David: I wanna play in Wisconsin for some reason. I don't know why. I just have that image in my mind of playing in Wisconsin. Get really good burgers and cheese curds. I don't that's just where I want to play.
Jakob: I'm gonna say one for Jackson and one for myself cause I can't decide.(Jackson left awhile ago during the interview)So there's a festival in Denmark. It's a legendary festival. We've been there a few times. We saw The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys play back to back. Most insane night of our lives. It would mean a lot to our family if we played that festival. Also, I really wanna play shows in the UK because if the crowd is into it they jump to like the beat.. what you guys do you know! So I wanna play somewhere in the UK, A big festival in the UK.
Oliver: I misunderstood the question I thought it was somewhere we like to play not would like to play. Um I would say The Ogden. (A friend was talking about how big their band is getting) I know I feel like we skipped a few steps there. We played sold out Lost Lake almost.
Jakob: No it was.
Oliver: So we played sold out Lost Lake and the next show was Redrocks.
Jakob: It's such a huge thing.
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