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kholran · 2 years

Note

For the 35 Questions for Fanfic Writers: 4, 5 10, 12, 16, 19, 27, 34

Oh wow so many! Thank you very much!

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

Plenty! I'm constantly inspired by other writers in this (DMBJ) fandom. @xantissa and @merinnan and @alxina have such steamy scenes and excellent action plots, and gifted the fandom with not only PingXieSang but Fox!Sang. @foxofninetales has a way with words that I am constantly envious of. @wild-feather writes SO MUCH and is an excellent cheerleader. @hils79 can do slice of life one-shots like no one else. I could honestly heap praises on so so many people (do you write for this fandom? THEN I MEAN YOU), and I draw little bits of inspiration from everything I read.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

I have a couple, for very different reasons. Pyre, for being the start of my very own pool noodle, and for being the first multi-chapter fic I ever actually finished. And Ordinary World, for being the longest fic I've ever written (to date) and for the world-building. I also wrote the entire thing in just over a month, which is a level of productivity that will probably never happen again.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

It's a toss-up between Canon Divergence and Fusion (characters from one thing put into the world/plot of another thing).

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

I started a RiSang Pretty Woman AU that I'm having a lot of fun writing so far. I'm going to try and sit on it until it's mostly done, so I don't feel guilty for not updating faster. But it's in the works!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Answered here!

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

...Yes? LOL Ok not very specific. But I've gotten inspiration for all three of those things. Like Pyre is technically "canon-compliant" with Sha Hai apart from the obvious. The major events happening in the background don't change much from canon, save for some tweaking of the (very very wonky) timeline. While Ordinary World and a few of my WIPs are totally AU. I do tend to try and weave at least some of canon (or at least similar events) into my AUs though, so I guess most of them count as "something in-between".

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

Oh gosh EVERY comment I get is enough to make my entire day! I've only (so far?) gotten one comment that wasn't nice. But maybe...if I absolutely had to choose...I'd say @crowbraiin's comments on Ordinary World as it was going up during the Rarepair Exchange. Seeing how happy they were about it made ME super happy too.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

I've mentioned Ordinary World a few times already, so here's a little bit of RiSang's first meeting in that fic:

Under a cut because I didn't realize how long it was in Tumblr format

“Is there no other way for you to prove your identity?” Zhang Rishan asks.

His head snaps back up, because yes! He can do that! “I know Wu Xie is still alive. He knows me. If you take me to him, he can prove it to you.”

Liu Sang doesn't get the reaction he's hoping for. Zhang Rishan goes completely, eerily still, in the way that only large predators can. “Take you to Wu Xie?” he repeats, and there's ice in his voice. “How do I know you're not a Wang assassin? Perhaps the other fox shifter is the real Liu Sang, and you're merely an impostor that followed him here. Or maybe the two of you are here together to better your chances. How can I be sure you're telling me the truth, and not just what I want to hear so that I'll let you get close enough to Wu Xie to finish him off?”

“What!? No! I'm not a Wang!” Liu Sang protests, cursing the fact that no, he doesn't have a single thing on him to prove that he's telling the truth. “I don't want to kill Wu Xie!” Well, he doesn't want to assassinate him. He's wanted to murder the man plenty, particularly for dropping him into what was supposed to be a well-paying, simple job that would look good on his resume, but what turned out to be some kind of convoluted horror story that involved him being haunted. By paint, of all goddamn things.

“Then prove it,” Zhang Rishan says again, and while his features are still hard and unforgiving, his tone says there is actually some way for Liu Sang to do that to his satisfaction.

“How? How can I do that?” he asks, and he internally cringes at how desperate he sounds. But he has the distinct impression that being unable to prove himself right here and now means he's not going to walk out of this room again. And if he dies here, he won't have any chance at all to tell Wu Xie that his plan as it stands now is going to get him, and everyone else involved, killed. “Tell me what I have to do.”

Something in Zhang Rishan's expression shifts. Just slightly, almost imperceptibly, but for just a moment, it feels more like he's being regarded with appraisal than accusation. As if the fact that Liu Sang doesn't already know what he needs to do means something. “Turn around and take off the robe,” Zhang Rishan says after a moment.

Liu Sang chokes on nothing, and gapes at him. He can't be serious. How is that going to prove anything? “Wh—what?” he stammers, tugging the robe a little more securely around himself. He wants to gain Zhang Rishan's trust but that's...

Zhang Rishan gives him A Look, and sighs. “The mark of the Wang clan is a tattoo. A phoenix on the right shoulder,” he explains. “Show me you have no tattoo, and I will take you to Wu Xie.”

Oh.

“Oh,” he echoes aloud, but any relief he might have felt is short-lived. Not because he has any kind of tattoo. He definitely doesn't. But his back isn't without its marks, and showing them to anyone, much less a complete stranger, is asking a lot. He glances over his shoulder, and realizes belatedly it's a highly suspicious thing to do when he looks back and finds the accusatory expression has returned to Zhang Rishan's face.

Reluctantly, Liu Sang turns. It's the only way. He recognizes and accepts that, but it's a part of himself he doesn't like to think about, and certainly doesn't like to make visible. Pulling his hair away from the nape of his neck, Liu Sang lets the collar of the robe gape open, and shrugs it off his shoulders, though he does not let it fall all the way. Zhang Rishan hasn't earned that show from him yet. His shoulders hunch as he feels the cool underground air brush the sensitive burn scars that cover his upper back, and hears the sharply drawn breath Zhang Rishan takes at the sight of them. It makes him bristle despite his fear. He doesn't want anyone's pity.

What he's not expecting is the sure touch of a broad hand coming to rest flat against his shoulder. He'd been so preoccupied with his own anxiety that, for the second time in less than an hour, he's caught off-guard. He hadn't even heard Zhang Rishan move. Liu Sang jumps, startled, but Zhang Rishan's other hand comes to rest on his opposite shoulder, holding him steady, and not letting him dart away.

“The tattoos are only visible when the skin is heated,” Zhang Rishan says softly, his breath wafting against the shell of Liu Sang's ear, and his voice is so close, and so suddenly gentle. There's almost an unspoken apology in it. Liu Sang shudders, and he's honestly not sure if it's a result of exposing his scars to Zhang Rishan, or because he's instinctively responding to the soothing tone in his voice. Like the purring of a cat, it somehow eases some of his tension.

Zhang Rishan's hand seems to burn against his skin. The heat of it seeps down into his bones, spreading warmth through his veins despite the residual chill of the underground air. Liu Sang shivers again when he feels Zhang Rishan lean in to breathe warm air onto his skin, presumably in an attempt to speed the process along. He's a little taken aback by the intimacy of the gesture, and his response to it. Because he's very abruptly reminded of the way Zhang Rishan's teeth had clamped onto the back of his neck and held firm, and he can't help the intrusive and completely inappropriate thought that maybe he wouldn't mind if it happened again.

But then the hand and the breath are gone, and the moment with them, and Liu Sang is left a little breathless himself at how bereft and cold he feels without them.

Which is absurd. His life is at risk if he can't make Zhang Rishan trust him. He shouldn't be having feelings about being put through a test that will determine whether he lives or dies.

#ask games

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sleepyowlwrites · 2 years

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find the word tag CCXXV

the best thing about working overnight (besides the fact that I'm nocturnal) is that I get to wear sweats and fuzzy sweaters if I want. and I want. I also get to wear a wrist brace but there's a whole crew of us who do that so whatever.

before I go off to work I checked the owlery for any new packages and found this one from @spacetimewraithwrites

haze (dying paper life, 2011)

Under haze of mountain mist Can you scent the distant anger that sits rotting in the air? This story, this single page Of the book that wishes never to be written in again Never to be carved Never molded Never put under glass Let it fall free among the ancient trees Who welcome it to make its final resting

pass (youth story/the stray spirit crossover)

Nyks didn’t quite frown, just looked a little thoughtful. “Sometimes I’m not solid. Sometimes I’m half-solid. Sometimes I pass through objects and people and sometimes you can barely see me. I don’t really have control over it, though. I’m strongest when I’m around my friends and then I’m a real person.”

Aspen sneaked a hand into Nyks’ and squeezed it, their face serious. “Of course you’re a real person, even if you’re see-through. But I’m glad you have friends.”

“You can be my friend, too, if you want.” Nyks smiled again, and Daniel was not sure he wasn’t just going to faint on the spot from the cuteness overload.

injure (beating hearts)

“Did you find me by listening for my heartbeat?” Pangzi sounds genuinely curious and Liu Sang wishes he could just shut up, but he’s always talking, especially when he’s injured. At least he isn’t putting up a fuss like he usually does, so there’s that.

But Liu Sang keeps his own mouth shut and doesn’t answer, unwilling to acknowledge that yes, he’d frantically listened for the reassuring sound of Pangzi’s heartbeat as he’d scrambled to find his body in the dark. Liu Sang keeps his gaze on the wounds on Pangzi’s head and hands, cleaning them off efficiently despite the owner’s protests of pain. Only the head needs a bandage to keep it from bleeding again and as soon as he’s taped one on, Liu Sang slithers away from Pangzi, coiling into himself as he puts away his supplies.

Pangzi, for his part, only grumbles a little and without real vitriol. He pats the sand beside him. “Sit closer, Jinx. We’re both wet and we should share our body heat.”

“No.”

mean (youth story d0)

"What did R do to you now?"

Is what Irina says to him as soon as he walks in the door and Mark wonders how transparent he has become if even the person who knows him the least can read the turmoil of his soul on his face at a quick glance.

Then Cal turns to him, a bright spark, and Mark notices that there are no lamps turned on, only this sweet boy's smile, and clarifies, "R texted me. He said he might have offended you."

"Which we took to mean that he definitely offended you, because he's R and if his mouth is open he's offending someone." Irina sticks her chin out at Cal. "What?"

cross (shots)

“Halstead didn’t throw away your birds,” Antonio said suddenly, while they waited to cross a street. “Adam wouldn’t let him, also.”

Lexi’s brows raised first in surprise, then in wonder and then because she couldn’t help the smile on her face. “I don’t care if he throws away my sticky note swans,” Lexi said, laughing. “I won’t be offended.”

“Lexi,” Antonio said, stopping short before finishing whatever the rest of that thought was.

She hummed, listening.

He held up a single hand, like he was expecting an outburst. “Don’t kill me for asking.”

“I will not kill you for asking a question, Tony.”

“Are you really okay? After yesterday, I mean. And look, I know that you’ve been through some stuff, but I’ve seen a few different sides of you and you’re not made of stone. Maybe you’ve been through this before, but it’s never a bad idea to just take a step back and talk to someone. I know if it were me, I’d hate to hear this, but I’d be grateful someone cared enough to say it when I needed to hear it. And I’m not gonna tell you to do anything, ‘cause I know that wouldn’t work, but if you ever need to talk, I’m here for it. That was more than I was gonna say,” Antonio said, a rueful chuckle making him duck his head for a second. “Just tell me: are you okay?” He looked at her so earnestly that Lexi couldn’t be mad at him for mentioning it.

She smiled, a softness for the detective overcoming her usual amount of frustration when someone tried to get her to talk, about anything. “I’m okay.”

table, chair, couch/sofa, bed, door. BONUS: kitchen, hallway. @homesteadchronicles @ettawritesnstudies @stuffaboutwriting @writings-of-a-narwhal @zmlorenz OR ANYBODY or nobody

#find the word tag #tag game #searching circle

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windlion · 3 years

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I’m going to blame this on the Discord - but some of it, some of it’s just Author Three’s own doing. Mind the knives.

The OTHER way that Liu Sang has a brother:

Liu Sang was not an only child. He'd known that since he was four years old, and his stepmother had returned from the doctor beaming. Later they'd been even happier to report a boy, and Liu Sang had adjusted to the idea of being an older brother. He would have a didi. He had been nearly as excited as the parents when his brother was born.

It took a few years for him to understand what was really going on. Things that had been his were repurposed. Space that had been his was taken. Time and attention came grudgingly, as if stolen straight from the mouth of his younger brother. His didi was just as confused as he was, and Liu Sang hoped he never had the same horrible realization: he'd not gained a little brother; he'd been systematically replaced.

Liu Sang wasn't an only child, and he wasn't a wanted one, either. He'd known that well before the back of the truck and the tears that wouldn't stop until he'd run dry. When he tracked down his father years later, he wasn't expecting a warm welcome home. He'd been disposed of, rendered obsolete, sold on as secondhand goods, and garbage never went back to where it had been thrown out from.

He didn't give a warning. He just waited for an opportunity to catch his father alone. When his stepmother and her siblings left for some social event, he let himself in. The lock wasn't exactly a challenge any more. He walked through the downstairs, deliberately making noise as he went.

The layout of the house had changed; over there was where the living room used to be. There, the side window that he escaped out of into the narrow alley between the houses. It had been updated: windows bigger, brighter, the decoration now modern and bland. It reeked of middle class keeping-up-with-the-neighbors. He didn't know if it was better or worse that nothing lined up with his memories. Not a single sign of smoke damage remained.

It didn't take long for the man to come out from his office, heartbeat raising. Liu Sang kept his distance while he waited, lingering by the single cabinet of art on display. He appraised the art out of habit: only one piece looked like a good quality reproduction, and several others were just offensively tacky. Worthless.

Liu Fu took in the presence of an intruder, long hair and hoodie, and barked, "Who are you? What are you doing in here?"

Liu Sang put the vase down and turned. He'd seen the pictures, he knew what Liu Fu looked like now. It shouldn't have been a shock. What hit him harder was that the voice was the same. He could still hear the father he remembered underneath the years. Liu Sang's breath caught, and he forced himself to stay calm, tracing the edge of the dusty shelf with slightly shaky fingers.

"Do you remember? I used to live here." Liu Sang flicked his hand to indicate the modern open layout, "Before you remodelled."

Liu Fu was taken aback, already fast heart rate rising. "A-Sang?"

Liu Sang tipped his head in as much of a bow as he was willing to make. "Hello, father."

Liu Fu's heart skipped again, then he gestured hard towards the back of the house. Away from the windows, and where his wife or son may come home. Liu Sang could have told him if anyone was coming, but the kitchen suited him fine anyways. He didn't have as many memories tied to there. (Tied. Ha.)

Liu Fu took down a cup and poured himself tea, movements sharp and purposeful. He made no move to offer anything to Liu Sang. He sat down at the head of the table, one hand curled knuckle-white around the porcelain, even though the steam meant it must be close to burning hot. Liu Sang waited for him to collect himself, to speak, morbidly curious. What did he have to say for himself, after all this time?

What he started with should have been predictable. Liu Fu stared at him grimly, "If you think that you can show up here to blackmail me. . ."

Liu Sang cut him off, sharp, "I don't want your money."

That made Liu Fu's heart skip in a way that was familiar to him now. Fear. Liu Sang held the eyes of the man who could have been his father and went on, "I want to know about my mother."

Automatically, Liu Fu waved dismissively, "I don't know anything."

"You know more than I do." Liu Sang prompted, "Her name?"

"Wang Ming."

Liu Sang pulled out his notebook and pen, shoved it across the table. "Write it. Where from?"

Liu Fu complied, flipping the notebook shut and pushing it back with his fingertips like it was distasteful. "I don't know, somewhere west. She travelled a lot--part of the job. She was a sales representative. She liked Xuancheng. Said that her hometown was tiny and too old-fashioned for her, and Beijing was too noisy and big."

Comparing Beijing to the rest of China, that didn't really narrow it down much. Liu Fu could see his frustration, and barked a laugh, "I told you. It was almost twenty years ago. I don't remember a lot of details."

Liu Sang wanted to reply, it was seventeen, but if his father couldn't remember how old he was, then that wasn't going to make much of an impression anyways. "What about physical records? Paperwork, photos, anything?"

Liu Fu rested his elbows on the table, leaning forward. "Nothing. She didn't leave anything behind."

"Liar."

Liu Fu scoffed, "There's nothing left now."

Not lying. Damn. If there had been any clues they were likely thrown away years ago. Like he had been. (Or burned, a corner of his mind whispered, also like him.) That made too much sense. Liu Sang tried to prompt again, "What else? Nothing about her stood out?"

"I don't remember anything else."

Almost relieved, Liu Sang pounced, "Lying."

Liu Fu snorted derisively, "And how would you know, anyways?"

Liu Sang unclenched his jaw enough to respond, tilting his head in his father's direction. "Your heart rate increased." He narrowed his eyes, listening to that beat jump and skitter. "There's a flutter on the right atrial valve that becomes more pronounced under stress. You should take care to not overdo it."

Liu Fu's heart jumped again, then steadied as he seemed to reach some sort of decision. "You do have her eyes. She was a bitch when she was pissed."

Liu Sang didn't trust the look on his face as he relaxed, the way he went still and easy like the worst bullies did before delivering a blow they knew would hurt. When they wanted to watch it hit, watch you bleed. Liu Sang was already out of arm's reach, but he kept the table between them, hands clenching at his side preemptively.

Liu Fu spoke slowly, carefully. "I had good reason to think she cheated, though I didn't really put it together until after she was gone. She never let me go to the doctors appointments with her. Told me she wanted the child to be a surprise, however it was intended."

The way Liu Fu stared at him then, he made it clear that had he known what was coming, he wouldn't have chosen it. Dimly, Liu Sang remembered how attentive his father had been during his stepmother's pregnancy. How he had taken her to appointments. Ultrasounds. Been there for the birth. That was why.

Liu Fu's heart rate was still fast but damnably steady as he went on, "I thought then she was just being sensitive about how big she was getting. Now I think she damn well knew what she was doing."

Liu Sang could feel his own pulse in his palms with how hard he was clenching his fists. It made it difficult to track the steady rhythm of his father's, unwavering. "What do you mean?"

"I think you were the runt." Liu Fu rose to his feet, not breaking his gaze. "Wang Ming travelled light. She never wanted anything unnecessary, and never wanted second best."

Liu Sang couldn't speak.

Liu Fu took one, then another step closer, confident that he was delivering the finishing blow. "She took what she wanted, and she left me you." He sneered down at Liu Sang, hot breath against his face. "When you weren't even mine."

When Liu Fu shoved his shoulders, Liu Sang rocked unsteadily backwards. Too off balance to react more than to raise his hands in self-defense. Instead of hitting him, Liu Fu opened the back door behind him, and held it wide, his voice gone cold and heavy with the weight of finality. "Get out, and don't you dare come back."

This time, Liu Sang was expecting the rough shove that followed, and ducked out the door so that Liu Fu's hands only brushed air. Liu Sang pulled himself away, not daring to turn his back, and bit out without thinking, "Don't worry, you're dead to me."

He dropped his voice low, something vicious rising in him as a parting shot. "What should I burn for your grave?"

Liu Sang caught the way Liu Fu's eyes flicked desperately to the house around him. His own gorge rose at the sense-memory of heat-gasoline filling his nose-the way the crackling pervaded everything around him. Before it even hit skin. Something perverse made him ask, "Do you think it would take better this time?"

Liu Sang watched the man stumble back, that stressed heart fluttering hard. The slam of the door rang in his ears, and he almost couldn't hear his own bitter laughter as he left.

He didn't look back.

(When he found out the house burned not even weeks later, he laughed almost hysterically. It probably sounded unhinged, but if ever there was kharma waiting to be served, that was it. Who knew if someone helped it along. He didn't care.)

(Wang Can was told to clean up some loose ends that might start to fray. Wang Can was good. Thorough. Didn't leave anything to chance. And though the mission parameters were unusual, well, wasn't like it was hard. He wore the clothes he was given. He was deliberately sloppy and let the neighbors see when he came back for the evidence. He looked straight back at them as he blew the ash off the audio recorder. One might have fainted. He didn't know why, maybe it was the terrible taste in fashion. Whatever. Orders were orders.

The Wang clan knew what they were doing: directing the future.)

#sometimes I write #daomu biji #TLTR #Liu Sang #and bonus #Wang Can #twins!#TWINS #sometimes twins murder for each other and don't even know it #(that was ALL AUTHOR THREE'S FAULT thank you)#and I'm fighting the formatting so bear with me if it's ugly

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weilongfu · 5 years

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Reflex (It’s all I’ve got left)

Part 3 of this reincarnation!AU that I have no idea where it’s going but I guess we’re going on a ride.

@sarah-yyy @stebeee @ctl-yuejie

------

Lan Si Zhui’s calm and polite chatter sets the mood for the day as Wei Wu Xian and Jin Ling walk along side and behind him respectively along the Yunmeng market streets.

The two teenagers are home on holiday and Wu Xian is glad to see them. He smiles as he remembers the looks on their parents faces when he offered his time to watch them that morning. While Lan Wang Ji and Jin Zi Xuan would never ask up front, Wu Xian knows they’re glad he’s volunteered to take them on an outing today while the adults remember how to live around lively and active teenagers.

Yan Li-jie had only smiled and promised a large pot of soup for when they returned, much to the objection of the maids.

“And so then Jing Yi said-”

“I already lived this story, Si Zhui.” Jin Ling’s face is one of excruciating pain. “Must I listen to it too?”

“Ah Ling!” The closest thing to a pout that has ever formed on Si Zhui’s face appears. “I understand. If you want me to tell Xian-ge a different story I will.” A familiar gleam appears in Si Zhui’s eyes and Wu Xian smiles while Jin Ling frowns. “Then let me tell Xian-ge about how Ah Yu came up to you and-”

Before Jin Ling can slap his hand against Si Zhui’s mouth, a shot rings out above the din of haggling stopping and shoppers screaming. Wu Xian drags both boys by the collars behind cover.

It is for naught as Wu Xian stares down the barrel of a gun in his face. Wen Chao’s snarl is highlighted by the mania in his eyes.

“Three heirs in one shot. My luck is going to change today.” Wen Chao cocks back the hammer on his pistol.

Wu Xian tightens his grip on Jin Ling’s collar, feeling the boy tensing to strike already. Si Zhui’s hand moves in the pocket of his jacket in a telling way. Wu Xian does the first thing that comes to mind.

He whistles.

He whistles a tune, sharp and cold, despite the hot sun beaming down around them.

He whistles a tune from a memory best left forgotten.

He whistles, his eyes turning red.

And it works. Wen Chao’s eyes begin to dart everywhere but their faces, looking for phantasms that Wu Xian cannot summon anymore, but his soul remembers with heart-rending terror. Wen Chao collapses to the ground, screaming in horror. Wu Xian pays him no mind and continues whistling, pulling the boys up with him before breaking into a run.

Running and whistling are difficult on the best of days, and the whistling gives way to breathing for the running. Wu Xian knows Si Zhui and Jin Ling have questions, but he knows he doesn’t have answers and instead shoves them ahead of himself when he feels someone pull him back.

“Xian-ge!” And it is surprising to hear Jin Ling call out in such a fraught voice for a man he barely acknowledges as his uncle. So surprising that Wu Xian barely manages to look up to see the face of Wen Zhu Liu.

There is no stopping the shaking in Wu Xian’s hands or the overlay before his eyes. The Core-melting Hand presses the barrel of his gun to Wu Xian’s head, other hand pressed tight over his lips.

Wu Xian breathes in as he hears the click of the gun.

And with a sudden burst of wind, Wen Zhu Liu stumbles back. Back enough to be blind-sided by Jin Ling’s flying kick to his face in addition to Si Zhui’s slide into his legs. Both attacks pale in comparison to Wang Ji’s silent fury as he steps out of the shadows, and with a single strike to Zhu Liu’s solar plexus, knocks the man out cold.

Wu Xian barely acknowledges the arms of three people around him through his trembling and the yelling of police officers around them.

------

Nie Huai Sang breaths a sigh of relief as the authorities follow behind Lan Wang Ji to collect Wen Chao and Wen Zhu Liu.

The cheap bamboo and paper fan splinters beneath Huai Sang’s fingertips. That it had withstood the brunt of such a burst of spiritual energy with naught but a speedy scripture written in blood was a blessing from being made of natural materials. Anything less, and Huai Sang knows his gambit would have failed.

And three young men would be dead.

Huai Sang shakes his head, but not for reasons he remembers from a past life. Not from a mask of uselessness he donned to protect himself.

As the fan turns to dust in his hands, Huai Sang slaps a few bills down on the table of the shop he’d snatched it from before catching Wang Ji’s eye with a nod and wandering off.

Best to leave before Ming Jue-ge hears anything about it.

------

It takes three large bowls of soup, two jars of liquor, and a thirty minute soak in the tub with Wang Ji’s body wrapped around him before Wu Xian feels more like a human again. Despite the warmth of the water and Wang Ji around him, Wu Xian still feels a chill in his blood.

Whether it was from the life and death situation or the song he had whistled, he cannot say.

“You are fine.” Less a statement and more a question, Wu Xian hears it in the way Wang Ji’s syllables trail off.

“I just... I did the first thing that came to mind and it was...”

“It was enough.”

“Was it?” Wu Xian twists around to face Wang Ji. “Ah Zhan, was it?”

“You did enough to buy time.”

“But what if-”

“Do not dwell.” Wang Ji presses his hand against Wu Xian’s chest, feeling his heart beat quickly like a rabbit’s. “You are here now. You are safe.” Wang Ji presses just a bit harder. “You do not have to whistle that song ever again.”

Wu Xian curls up against Wang Ji’s chest and nods. It is reassurance enough.

Wu Xian wants to say he doesn’t remember the notes anymore, the rise and fall of the chilling tune. But that would be a lie. Just like he knows that tonight, during dinner, Wang Ji had played another familiar tune on his guqin, one that he should have forgotten as well.

But perhaps that too, was another reflex.

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #cql #the untamed #wangxian #oops i did another reincarnation fic #now i'm gonna translate some more history3 and go to sleep

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beautiful-liu · 7 years

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Chapter 21 - Kryber - Remember me

Title: Remember me

Pairing: Kryber [Amber Liu x Krystal Jung] Fandom: f(x) Genre: Drama, romance

Summary: The bad ass androgynous girl Amber Josephine Liu with a sex, drugs and rock-‘n-roll attitude whom everybody seemed to fear and admire at the same time, with the flash of a smug smile on her handsome face, and a sigaret or lolly pop in her mouth, depending on her mood. A leather jacket always hugging her shoulders, ripped jeans and a loose tank top that displayed just a tiny bit of her sports bra when she lifted her tattoo-filled arms. Everyone was weak for Amber Liu. Krystal simply didn’t see it. Until that one night she accidentally met her, and met a whole other person than the stories she had been made to believe. Word count: 4700 Rating: T A/N: Excuse the grammar mistakes. This is my first time writing a multi chaptered fic. Hope y'all enjoy the progress!

Read it on: AO3 & asianfanfics

Moodboard: x

Two days. She had two days to make a decision. She took time off from work to think. It was irresponsible to take time off now — her father was in hospital and the company was currently going through a busy time — but she reckoned that if she chose for Amber either way, it wouldn't matter what happened to the company anymore because it would never become hers. No way her father was going to let her become the CEO when the media could find out such a scandalous thing about her. Krystal had made an excuse to Kai that she didn't feel good. And in fact, she didn't. Her stomach twisted the whole day, her body was restless because her mind couldn't make up which decision she was going to choose. Amber or the company? Amber or the company... At night she laid awake long after her fiancee had fallen asleep. More often than not she got out of bed then, taking a stroll through the neighbourhood untill she was creeped out enough to find her way back into the warm bed next to the man she knew was able to protect her, only to get out half an hour later again and walk restlessly around the house. She wasn't a good conversationalist those two days. Actually, she had never been good at casually talking, but now that her mind was occupied with something else, she really spaced out. Kai had to ask her two or three times before she was able to respond. She felt a bit guilty for being so distant and dear god she wanted to talk about it with him so badly. There was a little hope that he would just step aside by himself because he wanted to grant her what her heart craved so badly. But she couldn't. She couldn't tell him because besides Amber he was the only person that wasn't family she trusted. She didn't want to loose him too. And despite not being in love with him, he was her best friend. But shit, she missed her. She missed Amber, she even missed her after their first, big fight. Krystal wanted to hold her and kiss her and sleep next to her and cuddle up to her and fade off into her own dream world whilst she was being accompanied by Amber's songs. Her heart sprang up every time her name came across her mind. It didn't take her long to realize that if she rejected Amber now, she'd never see her again and she'd regret it for the rest of her life. But she didn't want to loose the company... The second day was almost ending. The 48 hours almost done... Kai was off to work when Krystal took her coat and her car keys to finally make her decision. On her way to Amber's place, she was still doubting, but she was almost entirely sure what she wanted now. And perhaps she was being selfish, and perhaps she threw someone good away after today, but she agreed with Amber: she had to make up her mind. She stopped her car in front of the apartment building. With a heavy heart she stepped out and entered the lobby. The overly-exciting lift music didn't brighten her mood, but turned her even more nervous as the elevator shot up to the top level. When the doors opened, she was welcomed with soft music. The front door to Amber's apartment was open. It was a strange sight, but Krystal guessed it was something you were able to do when you were home and you were the only one living on the top level. It was a slow melodie, with a sad edge to it. Suddenly the music stopped, then re-started, the same melodie. Curiously, Krystal stepped foreward. She knocked on the door, to announce she was there. The music stopped again. Amber came walking around the corner. She wore a simple white t-shirt with loose light blue jeans. Her hair was down and she was barefooted. She looked like truly like an angel. But her face was grim and almost expressionless and her cheeky grin was far from being seen. When she saw it was Krystal, her expression first changed to excited then a frown appeared on her face. "Come in.." she muttered. Krystal nodded and stepped through the doorframe. Awkwardly, she placed her arms around her waist, wondering if she should say something. Amber just stared at the ground. "What were you doing?" she eventually blurted out. Amber looked up and tilted her head slightly to the left. "Composing," she answered curtly. "Can I-can I hear it?" Amber chuckled, as if she said something very funny. "I never let someone listen to my songs before they're finished, not even Luna." "I'm not just someone." Amber looked at her with a strange expression. Then she smiled widely and shook her head. Whilst scratching the back of her head, she walked back to the living room. Back at the dinner, Krystal had already seen a black grand piano in the corner, near the wall-sized walls, but it had been closed. The black and white keys were visible now, and there were notebooks and sheets of music paper everywhere on the couch. It looked like a big music bomb had exploded in the living room. Amber walked towards the piano; her feet made sticky-sounds on the stone floor. She sat down on the stool that belonged with the piano. With her legs a little spread, her fingers hovering over the key and her back turned to Krystal, she seemed to have lost in her own world for a moment. Then her finger pressed a key, a high light tone that carried through the room like the singing of pixies. Another followed and soon the melodie she had heard in the hallway filled the livingroom again. And when she started to sing, it so easily blended with the sad tune. Amber sang the first two couplets and the chorus. It wasn't hard to understand, because the lyrics were formed by the memories between them. In the song, the two girls met at a party, seeing each other through the crowd. And they were lead by their hearts, even though their minds were supposed to be know better. The second couplet was a rap that talked about the fight they had, the harsh words that had fallen and the fight between heart and mind. Wanting to do the good thing but not being able to decide. Amber's voice had grown softer but faster and she almost sounded as if she was being choked, holding in her tears. And the chorus was written from the perspective of the girl who was left behind. She was alone, alone in the cold world that used to be sunny and bright. Without her, there was nothing to live for. And one sentence came back almost every time. Bogo shipda. Bogo shipda. Krystal hadn't been brought up bilingually, but she knew enough Korean from her parents to understand. I miss you. I miss you. Amber stopped after playing the melodie of the chorus again, then let her hands slide off the keys and let her head hang. A loud sigh escaped her lips when she stood up. "It's about us..." Krystal muttered softly. Amber showed her a weak, pitying smile. "All the songs I ever wrote were about us... about you," she said. "I never produced Need to feel needed, you know? There simply was no other artist qualified enough to sing what I felt towards you. I had several offers to turn it into a hit, but I said no. All the other sad songs I composed I sold off as quickly as possible, because my feelings were written down on those papers. When they were produced, they no longer bothered me. It helped me get over us." Amber walked back to her, her face grim and her eyes thoughtful, as if she was still in her own fantasy world. Without looking at her, she said: "Do you now understand my point of view, why I gave you this chance to make it up? If it were anyone but you, I would've never even spoken to them back at the party. But you changed my life. I earned all this money-" to assist her words, she lifted her arm, pointing at all the wealthy things that could already only be found in the living room,"-because of my songs, the songs I would have never written if you hadn't broken me eight years ago. And every day I was reminded by these things that I still wasn't over you. And because I kept getting reminded, I wrote more songs. More songs meant more money and the more money I got the more I spent. I was trapped into this vicious circle that wouldn't end. Luna tried to help me snap out of it but it only got worse. And perhaps that's why I let myself go when I found you again, that's why you're getting a third chance right now because I know — and I'm so afraid — that things'll turn back to the way they used to be. And I'll be making a living, yes, I'll be a succesful composer. But that doesn't have any value to me if they're still sad love songs inspired by you." When Amber was done, tears had wettened her cheeks. Her hands had formed into fists but they still shook. And Krystla did the only thing in her power to console her, to let her know she felt so so sorry for what she had gone through because of her: she stepped foreward, placed both of her hands around Amber's cheeks and kissed her, long and deep. Amber kissed her back, but when they let go again, she still had the same empty expression on her face. "I suppose you didn't come here for me to talk guilt into you," she said. "When you tell me your decision, make sure to choose what your heart wants. And if that's not me, don't be afraid to say so. A person cannot be forced to love someone whom they don't love." Her voice was filled with sadness, as if she had already accepted her defeat. "I don't know why you're being like this, Amber, where's your confidence?" she asked. The other woman looked up with a frown, already opening her mouth to reply annoyedly. Krystal shushed her. "Kai has never been an option. I thought you knew that." Amber lifted her eyebrows surprisedly. A small smile appeared on her face. "I'm not used to you being so.. progressive," she said. Krystal smiled wider and shrugged. "Well, you said you hadn't seen everything of me yet. And I guess that's true. When I want something, I get it. It might be selfish but-" "No, it's not selfish," Amber interrupted her, with a chuckle. "It's just you seeking your happiness." "I should've done that eight years ago," Krystal sighed. She pointed her gaze down, to her shoes. "I'm sorry for.. for breaking us up, Amber. I really am." Krystal sighed as her happy, delighted mood suddenly turned to sadness. After what Amber had said to her, that every song she had ever written was about her, she felt incredibly guilty. Of course, she had had her hard parts too after the break up, but she had been able to drown herself in work to keep her mind off of the person she missed and focus completely on the goal she had wanted to achieve. Amber had done the same, but that resulted only in more sad songs. It indeed was a vicious circle that was hard to escape from. Krystal had never meant to break Amber so badly, nor had she thought that the cocky troublemaker would be much affected by their break up. The thought she used to console herself with was that Amber probably already had another girlfriend and had long forgotten about her. Clearly she had, and it felt only good to apologize. If only Amber could forgive her... then maybe they could start over again. But even with her hopes up, she knew it would be diffecult for her to do, and it would cost months, maybe years to regain her full trust. But that was a price she was willing to pay. Amber sighed and scratched the back of her head. Then she looked, her cheeky smile back on her face. "The most important thing is that we're back together. Everything else, that'll come later on a droopy, rainy night with a glass of wine. For now, just take your clothes off." Krystal's hand immediately shot up towards her breasts to cover them, even though she still wore her clothing. She shot Amber a confused, scared look. But when she started to laugh at her reaction, she slowly brought up her older arm and folded them in front of her chest, understanding that Amber didn't mean it that way. A huff left Krystal's mouth. "I meant, get out of that uncomfertable dress and wear some clothes of mine. Let's make it a movie night.. or, day. Just you, me, Star Wars and quite a lot of fast food," she laughed. Krystal sighed and rolled her eyes, trying to keep her face under control. A small smile broke through her facade anyway. "I'll only binge all those movies with you if you let me hear every song you have written. Don't even dare to skip one. I want to know how you felt — or feel — towards me," she replied. Amber placed her index finger on her lower lip, as if she was thinking. Then she smiled. "Of course. Everything for my Princess. Just, should I bring you a box of tissues already, or..?" "I'll be fine, you brat. I'm going to change my clothes and after that you're going to play." Amber laughed and winked. She signaled that Krystal should just go towards the bedroom and get out of her dress. She stack out her tongue. Krystal dissapeared into the bedroom, although she couldn't help to swing a bit extra with her hips when she was on her way. She changed out of her dress. Amber was right; it was a bit too formal for a movie night, wasn't it? She chose one of Amber's sweat pants and her black sweater with R2-D2, since they were going to binge all the movies she might as well get in the mood. When she returned, Amber had cleared up the sheets of music from the couch and had installed them all at the stand on the piano. She sat on the stool, leaning with her elbow on the keys. She watched her with a smile when she entered the living room. It had been long since she had had Amber's gaze so lovingly on her body, like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Her cheeks turned red and she couldn't help to smile to herself. She sat down on the couch, installing herself in the corner of the long lounge back and pulling up her legs, hugging them against her body. "I'm ready," she announced. Amber seemed to weak up from her trance. She cleared her throat and blinked a couple of times before she was able to shoot her a smile. In the mean time, she sat up straight and stretched her arms. Amber shot her one glance, then started to play. One hour later, they were finally done. Krystal wished she had agreed on the tissues. After the fourth song, she hadn't been able to keep it dry anymore. The first few were still lovey-dovey, probably written around the time they just started dating. But you could feel the songs getting sadder, and at a certain moment, there was nothing more than sad ballads. The songs seemed to mix together, telling one big story about how sad and lonely she was during those eight years when she was alone. Sometimes there was an accasional song that talked about the love for her family, but the slightly happy songs were always drowned by the numerous ammount of sad love ballads. Some she recognized. Amber sure had made a name in the music industry because she had collaborated with several famous artist. She created Last dance, by Big Bang, A lie by B1A4, Spring day by BTS, Stay by BLACKPINK, Eyes, nose, lips by Taeyang and Lived like a fool by Solar from MAMAMOO. She didn't doubt there were even more artists singing her songs, but they were with too many to name all. When the last song had ended, Krystal got up from the couch, tears still running over her cheeks like never ending waterfalls. The other woman stood up to face her. Before Amber could turn around or say something, she had already wrapped her arms around her from behind, and — not caring about how it might be uncomfertable for her — nuzzled her wet face in her neck. Amber placed her hands over Krystal's, let their fingers intertwine. "I told you you'd need those tissues.." she said softly. "Oh shut up, you," Krystal blurted out in a shaking voice. She heard Amber chuckle softly. Krystal bit her lip hard and squeezed her eyes shut. Amber let her stand there for a few seconds, but eventually turned around in her arms. She felt how her hands were placed on her cheeks, and they softly forced her to look in Amber's eyes. Krystal bit down upon her lip and sighed. Amber whiped the tears from her cheeks with her thumbs, but new ones simply replaced the others. Amber smiled at her and bowed down to softly kiss her lips. This time it was Krystal who wanted more than a soft peck on the lips. She wrapped her arms around Amber's neck and deepened the kiss immediately, wanting to taste every bit of Amber. It seemed to overwhelm her for a moment, but eventually she also felt Amber's arms curl around her waist, pulling her closer too. Their lips slid over each other like they were made to do so; like two puzzle pieces who only fitted together. They had to part because they were short on breath, but kept their faces close. Their noses still touched each other and Krystal's eyes were still closed. Her body felt warm and fuzzy and it wasn't because she wore comfertable clothes. "You know, if you don't want to watch Star Wars, you can always tell me," Amber chuckled. Krystal opened her eyes so that she could roll with them. "No, let's watch that dumb series of yours," she laughed. Krystal remembered that she and Amber had planned a movie night to see all of the movies, a few days after the dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Jung. She knew it were Amber's favourite movies — she was not counting the Pokémon series here — and she had agreed to watch it because she had never even seen any of the movies. She had always defended herself that she knew the Darth Vader theme song by heart but Amber had not let her off the hook. "Dumb? You clearly have never watched a good movie before if you call Star Wars dumb!" she exclaimed resentful. Krystal laughed and pecked her another time on the lips. "Show me how 'not dumb' it is then," she said. Amber chuckled and winked. "Don't worry, Carry Fischer will capture your heart like she had mine when I was little." Eightteen hours. That's how long it would take to watch the entire Star Wars saga, plus the latest two movies, The Force Awakens and Rogue one, took eightteen hours to watch. Krystal was prepared to do a lot, but to watch eightteen hours in a row was a bit too much, even for her. After the first three movies — Amber had insisted that they'd watch the movies in a chronological order, so she'd get the story better when they started on the original saga — her brain was so melted with all sorts of space-related stuff that she had to stop watching otherwise she was sure her brain would melt. To prevent Amber that she started the next movie, she simply tackled the other girl on the couch. With her hands up to protect herself, Amber fell on her back, with Krystal on top. With a big grin on her face, she leaned foreward, until their faces were only inches apart. Amber laughed softly and tried to wriggle out from under her, but she had her firmly pinned to the couch with her legs. "Something is telling me that you weren't that impressed by Anakin's transformation into Darth Vader as I was." Krystal smiled apologetically before placing a soft peck on her cheek. "Don't get me wrong, Anakin was good-looking but I'd rather look at you." "I'm glad to hear I'm more attractive than the most famous super villain," chuckled Amber. She pecked her back on the lips. Krystal bit her lip softly and started to laugh. "Well, you know, it's not that diffecult to be more attractive if you take in consideration that half of Anakin's body got burned off," she said, which resulted into a high pitched 'yah!' from Amber. Krystal smiled devilishly and wiggled with her eyebrows. Amber grabbed her face firmly with both hands and squished her cheeks. "You just don't dare to admit that I'm highly attractive and that you like me a lot," Amber chuckled. Krystal shook her face free from her grip and rose one of her eyebrows questioningly. A small chuckle left her mouth when she shook her head. "Nah, I don't like you." Amber frowned. "Yes, you do." "No, I do not." "Well, then explain why you were kissing me just a few moments ago-" Krystal rolled her eyes. "I don't like you, I love you. I still meant to say that, you know, eight years ago but I never got the chance. I now do." Amber's frown dissapeared from her face and for a few seconds, a look of disbelief entered her eyes. But when Krystal didn't burst out in laughter, she didn't laugh either, and just kept seriously stare back at her. Krystal bit down on her lip and averted her eyes, but Amber forced her back to look at her by turning her head with her hands. There was a hint of a smile on her face when Krystal looked up. "I love you too." Krystal snickered and pouted. "I know, you don't have to rub it in every time," she joked. Amber grinned. She placed her hand in her neck, carassing her cheek with her thumb. Krystal bowed down to kiss her and the other woman willingly kissed back. The teasing had gotten lost because of the deep words they had said to each other, and all Krystal could taste now was the love between them. It almost felt as if she was kissing her for the very first time again; her stomach turned; her heart started to beat so fast that it felt like she could suffer a heart attack at any moment; her mind was clouded, she was unable to think; Amber's parfume made her dizzy; there was an impossible bubble of need for Amber building in her body and even though they were already kissing, it was not enough. Amber's other hand moved to her hips and slid under her shirt, drawing circles on her hip with the tips of her fingers. Krystal found herself grabbing Amber's hand, pushing it more upwards over her back. Amber's hand found the closing of her bra and without even fumbling a little bit, clipped it open. The fact that Krystal already had trouble unclipping her bra sometimes with two hands and Amber only needed one, showed how skilled she was. Amber pulled back for a moment. "Are you okay with this?" she asked softly. When Krystal opened her eyes, she saw how concerned the other woman was looking up to her. A bit confused, she tilted her head. "Why wouldn't I be?" "Well, you know I like make up sex but we're just back together. Kai is still at home, you're supposed to be at Jung Internationals right now. Your father is sick. Are you sure you want to fuck now?" Krystal smiled and cupped her face in her hands. She placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. "Then don't fuck me, make love to me," she said. Krystal had thought that the previous two times she had spent with Amber were magical, but it turns out that when Amber really wanted to make you feel special, she had no trouble doing so. She had never thought that eye-contact during sex was so incredibly turning on. It suddenly wasn't all about achieving an orgasm as much and as quickly as possible, but more to make it as long as the other person could bear. Being still a little sore of the day before, Krystal was only to handle so much. Yesterday, she again had not been able to tell Kai no. He had almost begged her to and it had been too much for her. So she had agreed and let him have his way, resulting in her body aching again. And whilst Kai thought her moaning was a result of her liking it, she had to keep herself from bursting into tears because it hurt so much. Perhaps him hurting her had also helped her make the decision: she didn't want to be with a person whom couldn't see through her facade and tell she was hurting. Amber, on the contrary was very very soft, as soon as she noticed that Krystal was easily hurt this time. She was gentle and sweet and she made her feel like she was able to touch the stars. One and a half hour later, they laid next each other on the couch, Krystal nuzzled up to Amber. She used her arm as a pillow and her arms wrapped around her waist. Their legs were intertwined. They had decided to put back on their lingerie and sweaters, but that was all. Drowsiness started to overwhelm her. Amber was stroking her hair with her free hand. Krystal was aware that the other girl was studying her face, but she didn't care and just closed her eyes. Amber's parfume had wore off a bit, revealing her delicious own scent. She didn't need parfume to smell like summer. "I could just lay here forever, you know..." she muttered. Her voice was still hoarse. Amber pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Then just stay here forever." "Funny. Remember we still have to win over an entire company together?" Krystal chuckled. Amber laughed softly. "That can wait. Just tell them you're sick for another day and stay," Amber whined. Krystal opened her eyes and chuckled. "What, needy much? Ew," she laughed. Amber squinted her eyes togehter. "Me? Needy? Do I have to remind you that you were just moaning my name and almost hitting me because I was to slow? Should I do a demonstration-" Krystal pressed her hands upon her mouth to make her stop talking. Amber's eyes twinkled develishly. "Let's just say that we both like each other, okay?" Krystal laughed. She slowly took her hands away from Amber's mouth, but the other girl immediately squeezed her eyes shut and started to moan excessively. Krystal quickly placed her hands back to smother her voice. She felt her grin against her hands. "Stop that!" she exclaimed with red cheeks. It was one thing to moan during sex but it was incredibly embarassing when it was done at other occasions. Amber started to laugh instead and took Krystal's hands away herself. "Hmm, okay, let's say we both like each other," she laughed. "So, what do you wanna do now? If I can't tease you with fake moaning, what else am I supposed do now, hmm?" Krystal rolled her eyes and cuddled back up against her, nuzzling her face in her neck. "Sleep?" "It's only 4 PM," Amber replied. "So? Just nap with me, please," she muttered. "Never knew you were even able to say the word 'please'," Amber laughed. "Oh no, wait, I clearly remember you asking me to please speed up because you were almost-" "AMBER! Sleep!" Krystal closed her eyes and sighed. She felt Amber move a little bit to get in a comfertable position too. Two soft lips pressed a kiss on her cheek. Krystal fell asleep with a smile on her face.

#remember me #kryber #f(x)#fx #f(x) fanfiction #fanfiction #krystal #amber #amber josephine liu #amber liu #f(amber)#f(x) amber #krystal jung #jung soojung #jsj #f(krystal)#f(x) krystal

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xcziel · 3 years

Text

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

#xcedit #is my only like 'me' tag #tag game #long post #i wanna do one of these with more unusual questions but not like those themed ones ...#tell me if the cut doesn't work i'm still not used to having them on mobile!

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