#there's one hour left before episode 3 uwu

[storiesandthingsofthatnature]

You Can Cry If You Want To

Summary: You made a promise to yourself long ago that you would never cry again. However, unhealthy coping mechanisms lead to even worse ones. However, Leon is here for you

Word Count: 1.6K

Pairing: RE4! Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, cursing, a single slap that was heard around the world, ummmm, that's it? Do let me know tho!

Disclaimer: Nothing to report :3

A/N: So I'm back again but with something fluffier this time uwu Have a comfort fic :3 I'm probably going to add a rules thingy to my blog and pin it to the top soon so be sure to look out for that if you wanna ask me to write anything for you! :D

Anyways, enjoy!

Being in this line of work you have to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to carry some heavy weight. From the deaths of your teammates to a failed mission that ultimately led to casualties. Not every task ended with a happy ending; human miscalculation and error will always be a consequence. But that wasn’t what bothered you today. No, this was a battle that you had been fighting ever since you could remember; mental illness. 

You had bi polar disorder - an illness that has caused a lot of strife in your life. You had hoped that enlisting into the secret service would be more than enough to distract you from your personal qualms but it just seemed to make it worse. However, jumping out now would just fuck you over financially and you weren’t sure just how long it would take to dig yourself out of that hole. So, you grinned and bore it. In front of your superiors, in front of your colleagues, and especially, in front of Leon. 

Leon Kennedy was a man of high regard and well respected amongst his peers. You were no exception. It was always an honor to work with Leon and a mission became more secure when he was around. But with constant contact comes welling feelings and you couldn’t stop yours from appearing. It was a slow burn, a small cinder that slowly grew into a healthy flame that now resided deep within your chest only for Leon. You could never tell him, however. You were sure that he had someone outside of work and that you were no way in league with him. So, you just let your feelings fester, an unhealthy way of trying to rid yourself of this puppy crush. 

And with unhealthy coping mechanisms comes unhealthy actions - you hurting yourself. You weren’t doing it because of Leon, but the added stress of possible unrequited love was enough to overturn the teetering table that was your fluctuating moods. It always started the same, your manic episodes; you become quiet yet violent to where you go on a small rampage. After you nearly demolish the area around you, you just sit down and sob. 

After a certain amount of time, you made yourself a promise that you would never have such an episode again. And, right before you entered the service, you started your streak. Through all of the shit and harsh training, you never broke your self promise. How embarrassing would it be to shut down like that in front of your team anyway? Especially Leon. 

You could never let them know about this side of you. But because of this you were left with a single, toxic mechanism which was cutting into your arms. You felt lucky that you could wear long sleeves with your uniform but you also wore bandages so as no dirt or sweat could get into the wounds. You craved the pain but you still wanted your arm. 

Lately, though, you were becoming quite sick. Due to your stress your stomach was beginning to twist in an agonizing way and migraines were becoming normal. One day, you couldn’t go in at all. You called in and practically begged for a day off. Of course you were to be given harsher exercises to make up for it but you were let off for the day. You could sob from the relief. You settle deeper into your bed and try to sleep off the pain that your body encapsulated. 

 However, a little under an hour later you heard a frantic knock at your door. You give an annoyed groan and throw off your covers with such force that they fell to the other side. You stomped to the front door of your apartment and you swung the door open with no regard to your bare arms. You were just so tired and sick that you just wanted to be left alone. You wanted to get this encounter over with and go back to bed. But your heart sank to your knees, your sharp tongue catching in your throat. Leon Kennedy was standing in front of your door and your brain was trying to process why the fuck he was here. 

“Leon?..W-what are you…?” You begin to say but stop completely at Leon’s expression. He looked intense, very contrasting to the worried look that was etched on his face when you opened the door.  “Y/N…” He said it in a way that sounded surprised yet heartbroken. You raise an eyebrow at him but when you follow his gaze you see what he noticed; your scars. You go to hide them but Leon’s calloused fingers enclosed around your wrist. “Why?” He wasn’t going to ask you the question of what this was. He knew but he just wanted to know why. 

You hide your eyes behind your hair, unable to look at him. “It doesn’t matter-” “Yes it fucking does!” He didn’t mean to sound so enraged but you were obviously lost in some sort of self depriving darkness and he wanted to know how or why so that he could fix it. But you didn’t want anything to be fixed. Everything was fine as it was, why couldn’t he see that? “Why are you here, Leon?” You ask and the expense of tiredness was evident in your heavy-lidded eyes and Leon’s heart clenched. Have you even been sleeping?

“You never miss a day of training. I wanted to make sure that you were alright.” He explained himself and you sigh. “Well, you see that I’m alright so-” You gesture for him to move back so that you could close the door but he kept his foot on the threshold. “We’re not done here.” He practically growled at you and your sanity was beginning to crack. “Leon, please. I do not have the energy for this.” You rub at your temples, your love for his caring nature now a jab in your side this time around.

He scoffed at you,”Right. And then the next time we talk about it you’ll come up with another excuse - no. We’re talking about this now.” He said as he tried to make his way in. However, you felt something deep within your mind snap and you slapped Leon. He reared back in shock, holding the side of his face that you struck. “I’M FINE, DAMNIT! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?!” You yelled, a familiar sensation welling up behind your eyes. “Leon please, just go.” You turn on your heel to hide your face, frantically wiping at your eyes to try and coax your body to stop and not betray your promise. 

“Damn it, it won’t stop.” You sniffled, your guard down. You hadn’t noticed that Leon had come up behind you, grabbing your waist as he slid into your apartment with you. “Leon! Let me go!” You struggle but then he sits criss crossed in front of your sofa. He places you in his lap, encaging you in the softest hug you had ever had the pleasure of receiving. “Oh.” You say in surprise from the gentleness and what Leon said next shocked you. “Cry.” You blink once and make a sound of confusion. “You’re not okay, [y/n]. And your body needs to get it out and you’re not letting it. Please. Cry.” He brought your head against his bicep, you subconsciously clinging to his shirt. 

“I don’t….I don’t…Need..to..” You try to reason with him but you feel the first few hot drops fall down your face. Your last line of defense was biting your lip but your whimpers were far too powerful. You let out a small sob which then transitioned into a symphony of wails. Your grip tightens on Leon and you shove your face into his shirt as you let out years of bottled up emotion. And he held you tightly, rubbing soft circles into your back as he threads his other hand through your hair. 

You cried for a little while, but sobs turned into sniffles which led to you passing out. Your body had finally let out everything and now just needed rest. Crystal drops lined your eyelashes as you slept in Leon’s arms, your reddened cheeks and nose leftover from your crying. 

Leon stayed sitting for a while, not wanting to disturb you. But once he felt that you were deep in sleep he rose in place and found your room. He laid you out on your bed, having pulled back the covers to tuck you in. After you were snug as a bug, he hesitated in place. He felt like the respectful thing would be to leave but he didn’t want to go. But, his mind was made when he felt your hand grip his. “Stay?” You ask, your voice a little heavy with strain. 

Leon smiled and nodded. “For as long as you want me to.” He says and you give a smile of your own. “I fear you may never have another day to yourself again then.” You lightly joke but hope that he would receive it in favor. “Is that a threat, [L/N]?” He teased back as he climbed into bed next to you and pulled you into his embrace. When your scars were in view, he would gently leave ghost kisses behind along the raised bumps and you felt yourself falling in love all over again. He was so scared that he would hurt you, but he still wanted to show that he was here for you. “Oh no, Mr. Kennedy. That’s a promise~”

#leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #re4 leon #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy x y/n #leon s kennedy x y/n

[mrs-monaghan]

So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.

Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.

I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.

Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂

Yoonkook.

(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert

Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.

Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂

.

Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.

Vmin.

I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in

They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.

This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it

Taekook.

This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?

On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚

Minimoni

Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.

I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.

Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️

Namkook

What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions

So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.

Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Jinmin

I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.

These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.

And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals

First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯

(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)

Hopekook

Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.

JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.

Yoonmin

Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.

They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.

Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.

Jinkook

Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.

Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.

chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher

Jihope aka Hopemin

We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.

Tweet

Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.

They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂

Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk

Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.

Tweet

Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.

The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.

Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.

Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #bts #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #hopekook #namkook #jinkook #yoonkook #minimoni #yoonmin #jinmin #jihope #hopemin #jin #rm bts #jhope #suga #jikook chemistry #bts ships

[due4amiracle]

Day 421

Listo:

Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Laundry/cleaning - Living room trash changed, trash taken to the curb! ✔

Reading things - - No holds no holds NO HOLDS!. 151 for the year, 22 for the month! - Terrier (Beka Cooper, #1) by Tamora Pierce 59%! - In the Shadow of Lightning (Glass Immortals #1) by Brian McClellan 72%! - Manhwa: Survive as the Hero’s Wife 2 chapters of this read Nope🚫! UwU♡ ✔✔🚫

Dailies - - Waifu Did mah dailies! Also, level 37/50 BP now~! AND! Tree lvl 29/50! Also! 24/41 max friendship namecards acquired! New MONTH! new weeklies! Chasm gem thingy is level 9/10! ♡ω♡✔

- Cozy Grove - Doot doot continuing to scout along! Scout rank 17/17! 21/21 besties! More stuff more things! ♡ω♡ ✔

Shells - 110/254 - 43.3% Fish - 97/180 - 53.9% Bugs - 135/199 - 67.8% Flowers - 280/372 - 75.3% Cooking - 64/71 - 90.1% Raw Ingredients - 39/54 - 72.2% Materials - 51/63 - 81% Recipes - 474/3619 - 13.10%

♡ω♡✔

- Ooblets - 42/131 little frands, because why not track something. ♡ω♡ 🚫

UwU♡ ✔✔🚫

#TTRPGThings - Another News post! i’m doing them every other day~ It was a good one. Quick and easy, introduced a new NPC that works at the same place one of my PC’s does. So. That’s lovely. Also worked with Sir on His PC a bit, the backstory and suuuuch. Ya know.✔

Watching things - - SAO Alicization. Episode 7&8! -  - Black Dice Society - Episode 4/25!  - Hunter: The Reckoning - Episode 4/6! - Roll20: Kids on Bikes - Episode 0/11! i mean, i haven’t started it yet, but, sure fuck it amirite? - SGDQ2022 - Today’s favorite run was last night’s run of OMORI! What a fantastic game.✔

Other things - Daily Diarrhea Diary - Good. Oh? My goodness? 4 3/4 hours with the mask last night! Ok i say “oh 3 1/2!” “4 3/4!” but it... It’s roughly that much. Because we go to bed at midnight, and then we snuggle for an indeterminate amount of time and then the mask comes on and it’s sleep time. But. i woke up at 4:40am. So. There’s that. i jury-rigged tucking some of my drool rag folded up tissue into the mask of it, breaking the seal a tiny bit, sure but fuck it w/e that doesn’t matter, but. It let me snuggle down and relax and not have to worry about the drool? So... that was pretty great. i woke up to a Very Loud Sound. Unsure if that was actually in a dream, or outside, but all i remember was it was a VERY LOUD SOUND. Like a scream? Or something like that. idk. Doesn’t matter. But. 4:40? That’s fantastic. And i mean that. That means we’re getting More Better Sleep Longer! Woo~ SGDQ is kinda suckin’ out my life, not really getting much else done unfortunately. But i did get a walkies around the house! Yay! So that was fun. Loop around the whole house, which let Sir take the garbage to the road along with us, heh. Since it comes from behind the house, we left out the front, walked around to the left, snagged the garbage behind, then walked around to the front around the right side! Delightful. Soooo yea! Before i get distracted again and forget to post this, let me just wrap it here.

Food: A Liquid: A Pain: B Brain: B

Tomorrow: Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Ever Onwards and Upwards!

#Multiple Sclerosis #ADHD #OCD #Arthritis #Spoonie #Daily #Genshin Impact #Genshin Waifu #Waifu Impact #waifu #TTRPGThings #Cozy Grove #SGDQ2022 #Food: A #Liquid: A #Pain: B #Brain: B #joints ache #aches and pains #CPAP #sleepy

[castle-dominion]

castle 7x9 last action hero

the action movie episode liveblog

hard kill garbage earbuds sus person running person dead person!! Love the music btw talking out loud to himself

Aw I love 90s beckett's style Oooh allclads are a good brand! But bex is right, some pans just Work Better, you can't just live life with a full set of one, you need a couple mismatched ones thrown in there too. & it has pictures in it.

Cousin sofia! Nice Bex offended mr kuniak XD ofc he never said anything, that'd be impolite

Hohhhh her puppydog sleeves <3

raises crime scene tape uwu He's that guy! Esposito's face of "Really castle? HIM above any of the OTHER action heroes?" RC: Ex-Navy Seal Zen master Rico Cruz? With the catch phrase “Time to hit Cruz control”? JE: Yeah, I was never a fan. KR: Me either. What’s he done lately, anyway? JE: Yeah, right? RC: (seriously) Beat leukemia. KR+JE:

Lanie <3

LP: Cause of death is clearly strangulation by ligature. KB: A narrow ligature, from the looks of it. KR: Made by a thin wire tied to two wooden dowels? KB: KR: CSU found this in a dumpster. KB: A garrote? Who would use one of those? JE: Special forces will sometimes, when they want to kill quietly. RC: The bigger question is how they got the drop on Lance Delorca. KR: Uh, Lance played an action hero, Castle. Doesn’t mean he was one. RC: Au contraire, mon frère. Thank you transcript for actually saying that, screw you captions. I speak French, I want to see the words. If hearing bilingual people can understand the french, Ddeaf/hoh ppl should be able to have that same opportunity. RC: Lance was born in Spain where, before he became an actor, he was a member of the CNI, the Spanish Intelligence Agency. He was black ops. This man was a lethal weapon. Me then: Wow, that's so fake, he wouldn't become an american actor. Jon Huertas: *was in the military, poor guy, before becoming an actor & is literally Esposito in this very show* But then again, I have a friend from Israel/Sri Lanka (I think he grew up in israel but was originally from sri lanka, idk) & he was in the air force for thirteen years but I met him as a cheap cafe sandwich maker in the banquet cold kitchen. I mean he left that job a couple weeks ago for private security but other than that. My point is, being n the military does not denote your future, you can escape your past.

Love the music btw

*Knows it word for word* RC laughs. He notices KR+JE’S looks. RC: I was raised by a single mother. Hard Kill was how I got my brotime. KR: That explains so much. JE: Mmhmm.

JE: Yeah, the guy from The Indestructibles movies, where all the badass action heroes band together for one last mission. KR: Before they die of old age? JE: Hey. That’s a great film. And so was the sequel. Sequels are never good bro KR: (sarcastically) Yeah.

KR: The redhead, she’s an archaeologist? That strains credibility. (XD casually sexist) JE: Yeah, in a good way. KB: Hard at work investigating, I see. They all turn around quickly. (Love her)

Castle being sort of helpful while just watching movies *pushes esposito out of the way a bit* why garroute, not garawt? KB: I know what her name is. While you were having your B-movie festival, I tracked her down. She’s in New York. She’s shooting a film and she’s on her way in now. *Esposito's face lights up & Castle accidentally hits ryan*

love the music XD but bex, let Castle find girls pretty in the past tense, he had her poster on his wall when he was younger & def before he met you that is ok.

oh no Another indestructibles? before they all die of old age? Yay friends Wow guns Cheesy is not bad KB: The real miracle is how a girl like that’s hanging out with a bunch of guys old enough to be her grandfather. She's not wrong

RC: Hi, Mr. Harmon. Huge fan. Huge fan. (he holds out his hand for a shake) I – I’m – it’s an honor – honor to meet you. Brock Harmon: The honor is mine. I’ve passed many an hour in the john reading your books. (in the washroom but still, he reads em! Love it when two celebrities are fans of each other lol)

Sometimes they say first names, sometimes they say last names.

When castle said that I just thought "Jon huertas was drawing on his past as an airman to play a detective (who used to be a green beret)" but also I miss the days when Castle said smart stuff

Just so happens that everyone they need is in new york i love it

I know why they are "stonewalling" her heheh oh yeah she has "guys" in washington now!

Why Hard Kill of any of the ppl he's played?

KR: (reading the tagline) “Time to hit Cruz control.” Maybe that’s what I need, a catchphrase. (he lowers his voice) Time to meet hard justice. Time for prison time. (nOOO I HATE IT MY FACE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A CRINGE & A SMILE JHDSKJHSDFJ) XD on second thought: don't. clipping.

Oh yeah I remember this stuff. Man's a regular little robotics high school student!

Oh yeah sobriety. Loev the set behind them too lol

Ooh I noticed the commotion in the background this time! Man holding his face!

Classic action movie other wife XD

{But Castle couldn't tell that this man was NOT ex-cni? He got beckett's entire life story so why is this like this?} btw I want a fanfic where castle pulls the same trick he did on beckett to learn abt esposito & ryan's lives

espt layers upon layers isexy

Enrique Gomez: He needed a bodyguard. Somebody he could trust. And I know such people. But none of them were available on such short notice, so I couldn’t help him. I mean yeah no yeah that's how things go

At least he ASKED his friend I mean Tavi was a sheep herder too! But then he became an operative! & wanted to be a lawyer! & then became captain of the army! & then became the king of the entire nation!

Aww castle so depressed deeply personal XD Tori *pops out* *pops back in*

Earology XD but also acupuncturists might know a lot, I feel like that could be a plot point in a future episode & the shows the little animation XD like girl why not just say "I have an ID" & give the ID & if they ask say "I compared her ear shape to pictures of women connected to Lance DeLorca" & show the green pic of the scan but since you already compared it, you don't need to compare it to any more (which is where we got that pretty ear shape animation from)

not quoting, rather clipping, but the captions are incorrect so beware

I like how dark the obs room is in comparison to the inter room but the box is still so dim

set smth right! Words we've said before!

RC: My opinion is not affected by her skimpy outfit. I’m speaking as an objective investigator. Someone who has set their personal feelings aside. KB: Along with your poster? RC stops abruptly. RC: Who told you? It’s Ryan, wasn’t it? Apparently everyone knows ryan as the blabbermouth. "She's going away with her boyfriend!" "It only proves that Ryan has a big mouth" like girl this is a minor character trait for him at this point

Yay I'm hopefully getting my meds filled! I went to the hospital for self harm & suicidal motives on wednesday & I still haven't gotten my meds yet *goofy face emoji* but now I am yayay

why does ryan say "except for her story is still holding up" instead of "except that her story is still holding up" but ig it's better "except FOR the fact THAT her story.."

slaps ryan's mouth XD

her fridge is EMPTY

THANK YOU! Thank you Lanie for giving us all this information, all the reminders of the past, the explosion, the best apartment ever! Also I totally thought that they were going to kiss & then I forgot this isn't fanfiction. Btw we need more femslash in fandom. Straight women, we need you! Lol wine in ceramic mugs

Ooh Ryan's outfit! It was good yesterday but now it is also good today!

Hollywood style one at a time fight, castle's face, espt's face, castle's face, espt's nodthe MUSIC, man he did a great job choosing the right instruments for this!

Reminds me, I was in martial arts as a kid (& I wish I could go back but college is awful & nobody should have to work more than five hours a day /gen /revolution /ubi) & some friends of mine got into a fight at mcdonald's & they TOTALLY should have asked for the security footage!

btw, kicks are low not for their face

You get sides of pork, not sides of beef. Cattle are cut into quarters. Sorry lol I took a meat fabrication course in college

Standing in a very fenton oconnell type way there huh

JE: AD says his name is Ernest Howe. He’s playing ISIS militant number twelve. KR: Not for long. You know what time it is? It’s Ryan time. KR walks, JE follows him. JE: Please. Just stop. KR: Name’s Ryan and I hate lyin’. (he flashes his badge) JE: Oh my god KR: Ernest Howe! NYPD. not clipping too embarrassing KR: Oh, you’ve got trouble. Ryan trouble. JE hangs & shakes his head EH, softly & deeply: I don’t know what that means.

add to 1x7 when esposito & ryan were about to fck "moot" btw love espt's outfit. "put the hurt on all of you" sounds like irish, "there is hurt on me" or "there is hunger on me" is how irish sentences work

wait then why were you there beating on him in the alley? Or maybe they couldn't connect him to any of the assaulters, he just looked kind of like them

Ryan mr narco didn't notice? well ig it has been like 9 years since then...

love a good old middle aged dude

RC: I’ve learned that every good fiction contains a kernel of truth. Mr writer

BH: Say, the gang and I are going out for drinks later tonight. How’s you like to come with us? RC: RC: BH: Castle?

RC to KB: You are my boyhood dream.

XD that little run! He's a teen girl I love him!

There is NOT enough space for three broad shouldered adlult men to sit in a caar together

BH: Somebody takes out one of our own, we take him out. Valid ig? but castle is right: Oh, guys. Hey. Listen. If your plan is to go to the club and steal that slot car, no, that would – that would taint the evidence. Rolf Magnus: Actually we can compel the DA to consider it, since the car technically belonged to the victim, Lance. Wow actually smart lol

Where is Castle? Oh wait that's him. When did Castle change? Cool guys don't look at explosions

Love the heist comp XD. & they call him el jeffe XD I love the triframe but castle is conspicuous Lol always check, esp if you don't want to create a distraction Now get gone he's only on his way you can still get gone! Pull the fire alarm! Oh good for her lol

KB: You’re telling me that this was handed to you by a concerned citizen? RC: Uh … yes.

KB: And reward you for your []illegal behavior? (she shakes her head) I think not.

& then she livetells him anyway?

They be f*ckin' /j "omg this is not what I expected to be listening to"

yk what trey, that's valid. But also dude maybe ask for help yk what the DA might feel bad for you but also girl go to the authorities at that point maybe except that yk how cops are but at least theyd arrest boothe for conspiracy to commit murder

What did the blood bone marrow donor have to do with all of this?

he's your real dad & blood bone tests showed that?

ryan weird with the vest half open tbh

Ohhhh his son that's how this was involved!

WOAH THE JEWELRY WIRE IS THE SAME!?!? I don't think Lance was trying to ruin things, just trying to build a connection with a kid he's met a few times, his friend's kid, who just so hapens to be HIS kid.

Gates said good job to castle XD!

RC: I was just going to suggest the exact same thing. We’re starting to think alike now! As if they haven't been doing this since s1 XD KB: (laughing) That is horrifying. Okay, go cue up the movie, open up a bottle of wine. I’ll be home in a bit. I’ve just got a stop to make first. (& make popcorn!) RC: Well, if I’m thinking what you’re thinking and it’s to pick up a sexy archaeologist costume, don’t worry. (he drops his voice to a whisper) I’ve already got the whip. KB: *surprised pikachu*

but girl that's nice wood! & that is too good of a carving tbh

cinematic <3

Mkay so it's 17 & I started watching at 13.30 so that's 4.5 hours & 3 hours is already double my allotted time this was triple my alotted time which means it took me sextuple times the episode... then again a lot of it WAS spent trying to upload stuff to tumblr, at least 30m.

#castle 7x9 #the action movie episode #castle 7x9 spoilers #castle 7x9 quote

[call-me-flicky]

Salem: Show me how this "Neo" would add advantage to our grand scheme.

Neo:

#rwby #rwby meme #rwby shitpost #there's one hour left before episode 3 uwu #rwby neo #rwby salem #rwby v8 spoilers #rwby v8

[themandhoelorian]

Dincember - November 30: Snow

summary: Din’s determined to make your stay on this miserable ice planet as short as possible, but you and the kid don’t mind taking your time in the snow.

pairing: din djarin x gn!reader

warnings: angst that quickly becomes fluff, episode 10 spoilers, the smallest bit of canon-typical violence, some swearing?, the cute little green dude, Din is Soft for you uwu

word count: 3.1k

a/n: ahhh hi welcome to my first fanfiction ever!! I’m excited and very very nervous about posting this, but I've been wanting to write my tin can husband for a while and thought dincember might just be the push I needed to start. part of me hopes I’m just screaming into the void, but if you’re reading this, I hope you enjoy it! happy dincember y’all <3

***

Din doesn’t like snow. 

It’s cold and wet and irritating and it creates a layer of frost on his armor that leaves stubborn smudges on the beskar even after he’s dried off. It’s a practical nightmare that Din quite frankly doesn’t have the patience to deal with, but the snow itself isn’t even what bothers him most.

It’s the planets that are covered in it that he really can’t stand. 

Din’s been on his fair share of ice planets, and not once has he found something appealing among the white plains, just deadly ravinaks and mindless criminals and giant ice spiders. If he had his choice, he would never step foot on one again. 

He’s not sure why any reasonable person would want to either.

So when he hears you gasp from the copilot seat as the frosty white orb comes into view, he assumes that it’s because you’re dreading having to land on this ice planet too.

He knows this is what he hired you for, to follow him wherever he needed to go and take care of the child, but he can’t help but feel a little bad that he’s brought you to yet another dreadful planet. Whenever the three of you land somewhere dangerous, which recently has been more often than not, he insists that you and the child stay on the Crest so he knows you’ll be safe. You never complain, always complying to his requests with a shy smile and dutifully looking after the child, but he can tell you’re growing weary of being holed up in the ship all the time. 

Your eyes don’t sparkle like they used to, the way they did when you first joined his crew and you would break into a dazzling grin every time you landed on a new planet. 

You don’t talk to the kid in excited whispers anymore as you teach him about the forests or the oceans or the sand, giggling as you bring his little green fingers to the ground and let him feel the difference in the landscapes. 

Din’s afraid he’s killed the wonder traveling with him used to bring you, he’s afraid he’s ruined it for the kid too, and Maker, he wishes he could see your face light up the way it used to. He wishes he could see you and the kid overwhelmingly happy again.

But here he is, leaving you both stuck in the middle of a frozen wasteland for what’s sure to be a less than happy few hours while he goes off to find another bounty. He wants to apologize before he leaves, but he can’t seem to find the words for how kriffing bad he feels. Even if he did, he knows you would just brush it off anyways, offer him that sweet smile that makes his face heat up and assure him that the two of you would be just fine on the ship.

So instead, he instructs you to keep the ship running, to stay warm and be ready to take off as soon as he gets back, before he hurries off into the dense swathes of snow. He doesn’t even tell you to stay on the Crest, in too much of a rush to leave before your dewy eyes can convince him to forget the quarry and take you somewhere nicer. 

He’s halfway to the location when he realizes it, but he figures there’s no use turning back to remind you when he’s sure you wouldn’t want to go outside, not when white flakes are starting to dust the already cold air. 

Besides, he’s determined to make your stay on this planet as short as possible anyway. 

Luckily, the target’s in the first cantina Din steps into and doesn’t put up a fight. Well, he tries, but the dumb sucker thinks he can just run, and he doesn’t get more than a few meters out the door before Din shoots him through the chest. 

Usually, Din would scoff at a quarry that slow, but this time, as he ties up the body, he’s just grateful that the target’s lack of mental and physical prowess means he can get you all off this planet that much sooner.

In fact, it’s only been a few hours since he first left, and as he makes his way back to the Crest, Din assumes he’ll find you right where he left you. You probably haven’t even put the kid down for a nap yet, and he’s almost proud of himself for making the turnaround so fast. He may have brought you to this awful place, but at least he’s making sure you barely have to spend any time on it. 

He almost doesn’t feel bad anymore, almost tells himself it’s okay that he left you and the child stranded on the ship again, but then he approaches the Crest and realizes things aren’t exactly as he left them.

The first thing he notices is that the hull door is open. He’s almost certain he remembered to close it, even in his rush to leave, but even if he didn’t, he’s sure you would’ve shut it for him. 

But then again, you’d been in the cockpit when he left, so maybe you had just stayed there and didn’t realize the door was still open. That would make sense.

When he gets a little closer though, he realizes he can’t hear the hum of the engine and that the headlights have been turned off. That he can’t explain. He told you to keep the ship running, and you’ve always followed his instructions. If nothing else, surely you’d want to keep the heater going in this weather. He can’t think of any reason why the Crest shouldn’t be running right now, unless something happened to you and-

No. No, that’s not possible. 

He always engages ground security before he leaves. There’s no way anything could’ve gotten onto the ship. But he was in a rush this time, and he’s not even 100 percent positive he closed the hull door, and kriff, did he really mess up that badly?

Not only did he make you wait on this stupid ice planet, but he also left you and the kid vulnerable to whatever dangers lurk in its snow covered hills because he forgot to secure the ship?

Maker, now he really feels bad for bringing you here.

Before he knows it, Din is sprinting towards the Crest, leaving the quarry’s body behind so he can move faster through the snow. He starts heading up the ramp, ready to scope out the ship, but then he hears faint laughter coming from the other side of the hull. He freezes at the noise, his body tensing as the edges of his vision go red. 

Apparently ice planets make for stupid criminals, Din thinks, because between the quarry he just picked up and whoever the hell is gloating right outside the scene of their crime right now, he’s sure he’s never encountered so many witless assholes in one place. He’s almost glad for it though. At least he’ll be able to put a bolt through the little frozen brain of whoever had the gall to raid his ship and mess with his crew.

He draws his blaster and paces towards the back of the ship, making sure his steps are silent now that the laughter has stopped. He takes a breath before darting out from behind the Crest, blaster raised, finger on the trigger, but he doesn’t find the thief that he’s looking to shoot there.

He just finds you lying on the frozen ground, making faces at the child as you support him on your stomach.

At first, Din is just relieved to see the two of you seemingly unharmed, but the comfort he feels quickly morphs into confusion. He wonders if something happened to the ship that forced the two of you outside, but then the child swats at your face and you giggle, the sound so pure and carefree that he knows nothing’s wrong.

No, you just decided to drag the kid out into the cold for fun.

He sighs and lowers his blaster as he watches the two of you, too caught up in whatever game you’re playing to notice his presence. Maker, maybe ice planets really do make people dumber, the snowflakes fogging up your head the way it does his visor, because he knows if you were in your right mind you wouldn’t have taken the kid out into the snow, and you definitely wouldn’t be lying with him in the ice, completely exposed to anyone passing by.

“I thought I told you to keep the ship running,” he barks.

You sit up abruptly at the sudden noise, pulling the child instinctively to your chest as you whip your head in his direction. Panic flashes across your eyes for a second, but when you realize it’s just him, it melts into a sigh as you offer him a small smile. 

“Oh. Mando. Hi, we were just...”

But then the kid sees that Din’s returned and coos loudly, trying to squirm out of your arms so you’ll let him down. You oblige, placing him gently on the soft ground, and he waddles over to Din with his tiny arms outstretched.

Din picks him up, and the child bubbles with excitement as he positions the little womp rat in the crook of his arm. Din studies him, searching for any signs of distress, but he finds none, just big eyes shining with nothing but glee. 

That’s strange. He was sure the kid would hate snow after what happened last time. 

He snaps out of his train of thought when you make your way towards him, brushing ice off your shoulders and back. 

“Sorry, he was getting a little antsy when it started snowing, so I thought he might’ve wanted to play outside for a little bit,” you explain. “I didn’t want to leave the engine running while we were out here, and I thought we’d have enough time to get everything going again before you got back.”

You’re right in front of him now, so close he can see the small crystals of ice that dot your hair. For a second, he forgets himself, consumed by how breathtaking you look against the icy landscape, and it’s only when the child shifts in his arms that Din catches himself, remembering that he’s supposed to be mad at you for not following his instructions.

“Wasn’t he scared of it?” he demands.

You shake your head, looking down at the child and running a thumb along his ear.

“He seemed a little nervous at first, but I got him to warm up to it pretty quickly. We were just about to head inside, but he wanted to stay out here a little longer, isn’t that right bubs?”

The child hums contentedly as if to agree with you, shifting his gaze between your face and the helmet, but Din keeps his eyes trained on you, trying to figure out how you could’ve gotten the kid to like the snow so easily. The encounter on Maldo Kreis had left him wary of any icy terrain, he can’t imagine what it must have done to the innocent child, but somehow here he is, looking as happy as he’s ever been playing with you in the frost. 

He must have been staring at you for too long because before he can put his finger on how you were able to change the kid’s mind, your face is twisting with worry and you’re starting to apologize again.

“I know we probably should’ve stayed on the ship, but I…” you hesitate before giving him a sheepish grin. “Playing in the snow was one of my favorite things when I was little, and I wanted him to know what it was like too.” 

Din should be mad at you. You didn’t do the one thing he asked, and you could’ve put yourself and the kid in danger by going outside on a cold foreign planet. He should reprimand you, make sure you know how stupid it was to do that, but then you look up at him, your eyes sparkling as they catch his through the visor, and it’s like someone’s lifted the beskar from his chest, cool air filling his lungs as he breathes fully for what feels like the first time.

He can’t remember the last time he saw you like this, so in awe of the world and eager to share it with the child, with him. Din thought he’d killed all the joy the two of you felt, but no, here it is again, radiating strong and warm from you and the little being babbling in his arms, and he feels whatever anger he had managed to harbor melt away.

How could he be upset when you two were so happy again? 

“It’s okay,” he sighs. “Just- I need you to be more careful when I’m not here. I don’t want you two getting into trouble when I can’t protect you.”

“I know, I know. I promise it won’t happen again.” 

It’s a simple affirmation, but your voice is steady, your gaze holding his with so much weight that he knows you mean every word you say. Din knows that he can trust you, so he just nods, deciding there’s not much use in wasting more breath on the topic.

He’s about to turn back to the ship, ready to get you all off this planet like he intended, but the child whines before he can move, pointing a tiny finger at the ground where you had been playing. Before he can ask what’s wrong, you take the child from his arms, speaking in that melodic tone you save for doting on your small companion.

“Oh, you wanna show your dad what we were doing, huh bubs?”

He coos in agreement, and you smile before nodding at Din to follow. You lead him to where you were lying and place the kid down next to two vaguely body shaped depressions in the snow. The kid toddles towards the smaller, shallower one and looks up at Din with bright eyes.

Din’s been with the kid long enough that he knows he’s supposed to act excited at this, but it’s a little hard to do when he has no idea what he’s looking at.

He turns his helmet to you in confusion, only to find you already staring at him with an amused expression. 

“Have you never made a snow angel, Mando?” you tease.

“A what?”

You grin at his response, and Din feels his face heat up. He can’t tell if it’s from being embarrassed at not knowing or if it’s just from seeing you smile at him.

“A snow angel. You lie down and move your arms and legs up and down, and then the mark you leave behind kind of looks like an angel.”

The kid makes his way back towards Din while he studies the tracks in the snow. He can kind of see an angel in the design he’s guessing you made, but the child’s-

“Well, it’s supposed to look like an angel,” you add. “But the kid’s so small I guess it's hard to tell. Maybe I should have taught him how to make snowballs instead.”

“No, you made the right choice,” Din interjects. “He doesn’t need anything else to be throwing around with his mind tricks.”

You laugh, nodding in agreement, and he feels his chest expand again at the levity of your voice. He wants to make you laugh again, be the reason you’re so openly joyful, but as he’s racking his brain for something to say, he feels a light tug on his cape.

“What is it, buddy?” Din asks as he kneels next to the child. He doesn’t respond, just starts waddling back towards the patterns in the snow while holding onto the cape, tugging harder once its pulled taut and he can’t move any further. 

“I think he wants you to make one too,” you note.

Din sighs as he stands, gently removing his cape from the child’s small hand. As much as he enjoys seeing the kid happy, he thinks it’d be a little ridiculous for him to take part in the childish activity, and he’s not too fond of the idea of lying on the cold, wet ground.

“I’m afraid I don’t know how to,” he reasons.

It’s a lame excuse, he knows, but it’s technically true, and he thinks it might be enough to get him out of this little game.

But when you roll your eyes at him, he knows that’s just wishful thinking.

Well, it was worth a shot.

“He did it, I’m sure you can figure it out too,” you accuse, gesturing at the kid who’s plopped himself on the ground. “Come on, bubs, why don’t you show your daddy how it’s done?”

The child doesn’t move though, just tilts his head at you and lets out a confused noise. You shake your head as you make your way to him, but instead of picking him up like Din expects, you just pat his head, striding past the “angels” you made earlier.

“Fine, you lazy little bean,” you say. “I guess I’ll just show him then.”

You sit in a fresh patch of snow and beckon at Din to join you. He’s about to refuse, tell you that it’s time to get back on the ship and leave, but then your bright eyes catch his again.

Maybe it’s worth giving in if it’ll keep that twinkle in your eyes.

“It’s just a little snow, Mando, it’s not gonna kill you.”

Din sighs, pulling his pulse rifle off his back and setting it down before grabbing the kid. He places the child between the two of you as he sits down, following your lead as you lay back in the soft ice and begin to move your limbs. 

It’s about as enjoyable as he expects it to be, which is to say not at all. The beskar makes him sink deep into the frozen layer, and he can feel the cold moisture seeping through the gaps in his armor. He’s about to ask how you could genuinely find this fun, but the sound of your laughter mixing with the child’s stops him.

He turns his head to watch you, taking in the way your eyes squeeze shut as your arms draw patterns in the snow, the way the light reflects off the white ground, making it glow around you.

The way it kind of makes you look like an angel.

Suddenly, Din feels warm despite being covered in ice, and he understands how you got the kid to like the snow so quickly. 

He thinks he might be starting to like it a little too.

#dincember #I can't believe I'm doing this asdfghkl #i've literally like never written prose idk why i think i can do this lol #this is so much harder than screenwriting rip #also sorry idk how snow works at all #i've only seen it once when i was like 5 LMAO #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin #the mandalorian x you #din djarin x you #emi writes

[bas-writes]

Henlo Bas! Here to use my free pass on your underrated characters box opening UwU! Super hyped, I absolutely L-O-V-E-D your Izo fluffs you did for the fluff event so I would humbly like to ask for some headcanons with him and GN reader. Reader suffers from nightmares and insomnia while he usually has a pretty decent sleeping schedule. He gets woken up by reader often to ask if they can sleep with him and sometimes they just sneak in without even asking. Much comfort and fluff! Sending you love!

Hazel, the Light of my Life  ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

I’m always happy to write some Izo fluff for you (so glad my previous ones were appreciated by the connoisseur uwu). I hope you will like this one as well :3

Dealing With S/O’s Sleeping Problems

Character: Izo Reader: gender neutral CW: nightmares

Whether you prefer to sleep with him or keep your distance and remain in your own for most of the nights, the door of Izo’s bedroom is always open for you. No matter when you would like to join, no matter if you want to talk with him or just curl on the bed without paying attention to him - it’s all fine for him. He prefers to keep his distance from the crew (they can be… handful) and cherishes the intimacy of his private cabin and bathroom, but as his partner you are given different rules. Izo considers you a part of his private household within the huge family of Whitebeard Pirates. Who would have something against their significant other moving free in their bedroom? Especially knowing they respect their needs and personal space and comfort zone? Izo trusts you, simply as that.

It’s true that he has almost a fixed schedule when it comes to work and relaxation time. He can stay awake if needed, but prefers his good eight hours of sleep a night, from ten to six. He truly appreciates his current high position of a division commander, since he doesn’t need to worry about night watches or sharing a cabin with other crewmates. Yeah, he is a light sleeper; sometimes a stronger wave is enough to set him wary. He always knows when you are awake or when you sneak to his bed for cuddles. It’s not your fault and he never blames you for waking him up. And even if it somehow was your fault, he frankly worries too much to care about his own discomfort.

Izo is smart and observant. He knows well when you start suffering from insomnia, even long before you start looking for comfort and his attention. He doesn’t pressure you to open about your problem, but is more cautious than usual about your condition and mood. He makes sure you know you can visit his bedroom whenever you want and without his permission. Even if his cabin is already very clean and pretty silent compared to other parts of the ship, he discreetly prepares it even more for your worse episode. Thicker curtains, clean sheets carrying the scent of calming aroma oils, your favorite pillows or plushies left within the reach of your hand, water and painkillers on the bed stand… Everything you would need is prepared and Izo lowkey starts having problems with sleep on his own, awaiting the moment you would break and finally come to him. He wants to be ready and help you as much as he can.

Old habits die hard though and Izo is snoring every time you slip inside. If you call him, he will wake up with the first call and immediately recognize you. If you try to sneak in without waking him up, the first steps of yours will switch him into the wary mood and once you climb the bed, he will have his eyes open. But he definitely won’t be as ready as he would love to. No matter how much he worries about you, he will resemble a half conscious kitten, sober enough to call you by your name, but also sleepy so much that he is ready to succumb back into dreams once you settle by his side. If you need his attention, you need to poke him or wiggle by his side. With a second call he loses interest in sleeping and pays his whole attention to you. But if you only need his presence, just let him wrap himself around you. Izo truly loves being the big spoon and goes for it whenever he has an opportunity. He prefers if you face him and snuggle to his chest, but is fine with embracing you from behind as well. Even if asleep, he plays with your hair all the time and his hands are very gentle for someone who is more used to handling guns than something as delicate as the body of his partner. Such comforting, innocent touch is a huge help and often is that push that finally makes you fall asleep.

When you have a nightmare, Izo often wakes up before you, since your squirming and noises you make alarm him. He always wakes you up, if you didn’t follow him immediately. There’s no use for you to continue this horrible dream; he’s here for you to bring you back to reality and comfort you. Izo doesn’t turn the lamp on, worried sudden light might spook you even more, but will light some candles once he makes sure you are not asleep anymore and not panicked. If you drink alcohol, he will offer you a glass of umeshu or other light and sweet liquor to help you relax. If not, he always has a kettle and tea close at hand and will help you with a cup. He also hugs you all the time or at least holds your hand. Izo makes sure you know he is with you. He talks to you, he caresses you, if he needs to leave you alone for some reason, he covers you with a piece of his clothing so at least his scent can comfort you. Once you are ready to go back to bed -even if you don’t wish to sleep yet- he pulls you close to his chest and lets you listen to his heartbeat. Even when stressed and worried, Izo controls his emotions almost perfectly, so his heart is so calm it almost can serve as asmr.

Either you are suffering from insomnia or from a nightmare, if he’s awake with you, he often sings. Those are old melodies, ones he remembers from his childhood - exotic songs you have never heard sung by anyone but him. He’s maybe not the best singer you have heard, but his voice has a nice timbre and, if hummed, works better than a sleeping pill. Even if it won’t put you to sleep, it’s a huge help with relaxation. He’s more than happy to teach you words and melody, so you can humm together, tangled in sheets and each other’s limbs - until everything is calm and all right not scary anymore.

If the reason behind your insomnia and nightmares lie in your mental struggle or problems, Izo is always there to hear you out and offer help. He suggests you to talk about it with Marco as well - he might not be a psychiatrist, but there’s a chance the reason behind your struggle is neurological and thus, solvable by his flames. All the time Izo is by your side and shows you his love even more openly than usual. While not really a big fan of PDA, he won’t hesitate from a gentle hand grasp or a discreet hug or even a gentle kiss on cheek whenever he sees you tired or stressed. It doesn’t matter if your problem is easy to solve or not, if it happens rarely or is a chronic struggle - he is there for you. And won’t let you down in need.

#one piece x reader #one piece imagine #one piece headcanons #izo x reader #izo imagine #izo #bas writes #gender neutral reader

[katoodlez]

uwu meter exploded and i ate dinner at 2am after watching this aka the sam and bucky show episode 5

The new episode was sO goOd omg tbh i didnt think i was gonna be able to watch it last night and i legit cried. But i did and i am very very thankful. Because it was a very very good episode. But before we start stOP reAdING cuz theres gonna be MASSIVE SPOILERS IN THIS POST.

Alrighty without further delay, the Sam and Bucky show episode 5 and all its best things (there are a lot, to no one’s surprise). Im gonna go in chronological order to avoid losing my mind.

1. The fight in the beginning. Omg. Walker looked like he was gonna do both Sam and Bucky in with the shield like 6 times and it was lowkey scary. And when Walker knocked bucky into the electric tower or whatever it was— skdjfjs i saw some people post abt Sam’s glare mid battle like “if this is sam looking at walker after he hurt bucky” anD IT ACTUALLY WAS marvel why.

2. Walker ripped Sam’s wings off omg. That was so brutal i audibly gasped. I think we’ve seen the wings being shot at or broken but never ripped clean off. 0 _ 0

3. I like how the fight ended with all three of them on the ground and the shield just lying there. And then Bucky picked it up, left it for Sam and left. Walker was defeated but it kinda shows how Sam still wasn’t sure about the shield, he just knew in that moment that Walker absolutely couldn’t be the one to have it. I feel like that fight scene really conveyed how all of them felt about the shield and it was done really well. (Ok but on a side note, remember in episode 2 when Sam was like “bruh we cant just run up on the man, beat him up and take it?” I guess they went with that plan after all)

4. TORRES MY BELOVED. He’s back and I’m so happy 🥺🥺🥺🥺 also i love how he’s not afraid to give Bucky sass lmao.

5. WHEN SAM TOLD TORRES TO KEEP THE WINGS. listen i havent read the comics but i know what happens in them and Torres is such a Falcon fanboy omg if he’s gonna be the new falcon im gonna be so happy for him ahhHhHh

6. Sam’s conversation with Isaiah Bradley. Man. I’m really really happy that we have that scene. The scene with Isaiah in episode 2 left me reallly uneasy because it ended on a really bad note with unfinished and unsaid things between Sam, Bucky and Isaiah. Also Sam didn’t really get to talk at all in that scene and I felt like he def had things he wanted to say. I appreciated how Sam said that he really didn’t get some stuff and he had Isaiah explain more of his backstory. I think Sam believes that things can change, for good reason, and at the same time Isaiah believes that nothing will change, also for a completely fair reason. But having the time to let the two of them talk, esp with the shield in the room and without Bucky’s complicated history was a really well written piece of dialogue. Thank you screenwriters.

7. SARAH WILSON SUPREMACY. I’m glad we got more of Sarah in this episode ahhh. She’s such a caring sister and I’m here for it. Sam and Sarah sibling dynamics also >>>>>

8. Sam calling in the favors to help fix the boat was so heartwarming omg. And Bucky just showing up lmaooo

9. Bucky flirting with Sarah to get on Sam’s nerves LMAOO

10. Sam and Bucky fixing the boat together was something I needed to see. That entire montage, the teamwork and warm lighting and akskdjajd my heart 🥺🥺💕💕💕

11. Bucky waking up to Sam’s nephews playing with the shield reminded me of the Black Panther end credits scene but also of that one scene in Wandavision with Pietro and wanda’s kids lollll

12. Sarah asking Sam if he’s gonna let Isaiah tell him what to do and then Sam asking/telling Bucky to stop letting others, even Steve, tell him who to be was just. Skdkfjaod. The character conversations in this episode ahHhh

13. On that note, Sam and Sarah having a chance to talk about themselves, their boat and their family was just amazing. They’re fighting to keep their history and also understanding each other at the same time.

14. Sarah telling sam that there’s the fight out there and then theres the fight in here is so special. It in a sense reflects/applies to not only Sam and Sarah’s relationship and struggles, but it also applies to Sam and Bucky’s relationship and struggles esp with Steve and the shield’s legacy, Bucky’s history as the Winter Soldier and all the weight he carries with it. They gotta sort out the inside stuff before getting into the thick of what I’m sure will be the final battle next week as superheroes in the face of the world.

15. On that note. Sam and Bucky finally having the chance to talk was so relieving and eye opening for both characters. Bucky finally understanding Sam’s perception of the shield and its weight on his conscience because he is an African American representing his people and Sam finally understanding a more personal side of Bucky’s relationship with/perception of the shield feels like a knot in their friendship that has been resolved. The development in this show is just through the roof omg.

16. Okay but Bucky talking about how Steve told him about the plan to give Sam the shield... wkerjkakdja I feel like that makes Endgame’s ending a little better 😭😭😭

17. Shield training shield training shield training ahhhHhHhHhh i swear whenever either sam or bucky touched the shield in this episode i started physically vibrating LOL. Its so cool to see the shield in the hands it’s supposed to be in again ☺️☺️ Sam’s training montage with the shield was also AMAZING omg it was so so cool to watch him grow with the skills

18. Not Sam asking Bucky if he has nightmares and talking to him about amends and stuff skdjfjskd lowkey Sam is the superior therapist in this show and he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for it aksjdjskdjajd. Also the implication that Bucky will go back to Nakajima and give him closure for his son I— 😭😭

19. Also im so glad the scene where they’re walking away from each other ISNT the last episode. Its sort of like a “we’ll see each other soon” walk : DD

20. Okay but Bucky helping the Wakandans capture zemo at the memorial (which i think is for his family? 😭😭😭) and then the favor that Bucky called in for sam. WHATS IN THE GOSH DARN BOX OMG. i think it’s either new Falcon wings, a vibranium Redwing (please let it be this) or a suit of some kind

21. And lastly what the heck does Sharon wanna kill Sam for?? She workin for the flag smashers now or sumn? Also Batroc coming back when the last time i think we saw him was in CA: Winter Soldier 0 _ 0

Did it take me an hour to write this post? Yes. Did I get everything? No. I dont think I discussed Walker in this post but he was super scary and deranged and Wyatt Russell blew it out of the ballpark in this episode. Also whats the special character that everyone was hyped about? Anyways. Until next week 0 _ 0 season finale and im not ready for it to be over

#the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws #tfatws spoilers #bucky barnes #sam wilson #winter soldier #falcon #hello marvel please bring redwing back thank you #marvel #mcu

[animegenork]

Fruits Baskets Final Season Episodes 2 & 3

What? No, I didn’t watch these on the Fridays of the weeks they came out. No, I wasn’t dying from school---

Anyway, back to the grind.

Episode 2

I swear the gif search function HATES me and what I’m trying to do---

Anyway.

I would like to make this very clear. Shigure is a little bit evil. A little bit. But it’s mostly from being twisted by the zodiac curse and his strange form of love. So if you wanted to punch him this episode, that’s good. He needs to be punched. A lot. Like a lot. God, he’s so evil. Moving on.

So the episode begins with young Akito asking Shigure if he loves her. This is, as we’ve seen, something that Akito fixates on, mostly due to her father accidentally warping her with the idea of being eternally loved by the zodiac members. He responds with a very earnest love confession that sort of explains why they spend so much time together, but it also confuses things a bit, at least at first. What with the zodiac spirit, it’s unclear how much of Shigure’s love is real and how much isn’t up to him. That may factor in to whatever the hell is up with him now.

Cut to Tohru working on graduation ceremony flowers and nearly asking Shigure about breaking the curse. Of course, she can’t, because it’s hard to bring up, and she’s only seen 2 sides of Shigure at most. Naturally, he already knows what she’s thinking about, because he’s Shigure. He’s just that good.

Tohru continues to struggle even at school, when she realizes that there’s so much she knows that she probably can’t talk about with Momiji or Haru or anyone else. And since the curse is this ever-present thing to them, she’s not even sure if they’ll believe her or how they’ll react. Rin is the exception to this, of course, since she was already looking for information on it.

There are some shenanigans with the Prince Yuki Fan Club, and Tohru and Kyo are left alone (probably on purpose) by Hanajima, Uotani, and company. But I’ll get back to that in a sec.

Yuki tries to help out other classes with things, but they won’t let him because... well, uh, they think he’s too busy... and he... isn’t... I’m sorry, that’s just so funny to me. So anyway, he runs into Machi, who is being all adorable and stubborn because she wanted to say hello and chased him all over the school to do so. It’s cute, because Yuki’s not used to that much effort being put in to something for his sake. I love Machi like that UwU

Back to Tohru and Kyo, they’ve been waiting for HOURS. Tohru decides to tentatively try out her Kureno talking point, but as soon as she brings up the curse maybe being broken, Kyo tells her that hypotheticals like that are pointless (this is implied paraphrase). He does this mostly because he’s in that pit of despair of “I’m never getting out of this” but also because he doesn’t want to give himself a false hope that might never come true. Tohru, however, becomes sad, because of course she wants to save him from having to be locked away like the previous Cat. So there’s a bit of moment where she’s about to cry.

And then Kyo *sniffle* gives her a flower to make her feel better. *sobs*

Technically speaking, this scene should’ve been in the last season or SOMETHING, I honestly thought they WEREN’T going to put my FAVORITE scene in the anime, and then they did. What’s cute about this scene is how torn up Kyo is from hurting Tohru’s feelings, and how almost desperate he is to make her feel better. It’s a sweet moment, if slightly awkwardly animated, but it’s a rare Tohru and Kyo moment where they don’t even say anything and you can SEE everything they want to say. Of course, they’re interrupted, because they always are (HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT LIKE NEVER HAPPENS WHENEVER YUKI AND TOHRU HAVE A MOMENT?), but hey, I got my fluff, I am fed.

There’s brief mention of Rin and how Tohru hasn’t seen her lately, and I hate it because I know where she is.

Anyway, now on to Shigure being Shigure.

He’s torturing his poor editor again, and he walks away from what appears to have been a heated conversation with... HIS PARENTS. THEY EXIST. I dunno what it is with rarely seeing zodiac parents (besides the obvious cases of Kyo and Momiji), but there you have it. We see then that there’s a big Sohma dinner outing with Akito there, so clearly Shigure planned that. His skills of perception and foresight are serious scary, and I really wonder how the hell he developed them.

There’s a flashback to before Tohru and Kureno’s revealing conversation, and we see that Shigure hates Kureno for being so close to Akito. Of course, Kureno makes it clear that Akito doesn’t love him, that she’s always wanted.... well, he doesn’t say, but I think all of us are familiar enough with how this anime works that we know who he means. But Kureno basically wants Shigure to stop being so cold to Akito, and this is because of how much he wants to keep her happy more than any personal feelings about Shigure.

This is where it gets a bit dicey. I’ve actually got a strange fondness for this scene, if only because it sort of but also not really gets to the heart of why Shigure is the way he is.

Shigure appears in Akito’s room, and she’s basically jealous that he was out with another woman. Then she brings up his sexual relationship with his editor (nonexistent), which is rather petty, but then, when was this duo not about pettiness? The implication Akito makes is that he sleeps with every woman he meets (explains a lot). She then mentions that Shigure slept with Ren, Akito’s mother (I’m not going to touch on how screwed up that is), which is why he’s living in a house away from the main estate. Shigure acts all cool and says that was a long time ago, he’s been punished, but Akito points out that he almost wanted to leave. Which... he did, but not for any lack of love on his part. And he says that. He recalls the conversation we see at the beginning, in which he tells her he cares about her more than anyone else. Understandably, she’s frustrated, and she asks why he always tests her.

It’s because she slept with Kureno. Petty, I know.

The phone conversation comes back. Everything you need to understand about Shigure is in one sentence: “I love her so much that sometimes I want to spoil her rotten, and sometimes I want to crush her into a pulp.” This is nearly verbatim of the manga translation I read a long time ago, and it’s always stuck with me. The thing is, Akito was always told she’s special and she can do with the zodiac as she pleases (which she says directly in this episode). It seems a part of Shigure didn’t like that that extended to those that weren’t him (Kureno), and his love for her warped and twisted into this kinda toxic relationship. (Kinda, she says, as if it’s not very.) This makes him want to be kind to her, but at the same time, he wants to be mean to her and show her how much pain she’s put him through, too. It’s pettiness at its extreme, but it’s somehow more believable than other forms of petty jealousy I’ve seen.

Oh yeah, and then they have sex.

Once again, there’s brief mention of Rin, perhaps she’s in the hospital, we don’t really know. But the main part of this all is Shigure remembering that before Akito was born/in his life, he had always been sort of waiting for her, which is mostly the zodiac spirit talking but is also interesting nonetheless. How much of Shigure’s love is influenced by the zodiac curse? How much of it is him? I don’t know if we ever find that out, because frankly, the curse did a lot of things to everyone involved, including him.

I still love Shigure, don’t get me wrong, but this is SUCH an interesting episode.

Episode 3

Precisely the gif I wanted. Hehehe.

IT’S A MACHI EPISODE! AND I LOVE HER, SO THAT’S ALRIGHT!

Still pissed about Kyo’s screentime being so awful lately. ads;fkjsad;fklsda

Some student council shenangians occur as always, and it’s revealed that Nao has a crush on someone, which is why he declared Yuki to be his rival on day one. Also, Kimi is a golddigger.

Some girls come in and gossip about Machi making a mess again with one of her outbursts, and they mention a rumor about her trying to kill her brother, which is why she lives alone. Kakeru looks quite displeased to hear this, and Machi walks in on the conversation and runs away, with Yuki wanting to go after her. 

Kakeru tells Yuki later that the rumor is “mostly true”--that is, that’s the story he’s been told as well. Of course, he’s wary to believe it, because while they’re not terribly close, he knows her a little better than the parents do. He then tells a story of seeing Machi making footprints in the snow, almost obsessively, and he’s not quite sure why she did it (but Kakeru has a Shigure streak, so I wonder if maybe he does know?).

So Kakeru decides to pull a sort of jerk move and visit Machi while with Yuki, and she tries to turn them away to no avail. Of course, Yuki isn’t put off by the mess, since he and Shigure used to live that way, so he’s all cheerful about it while Machi is dying in the corner. I will not talk much about the bra incident, but that was honestly the most hilarious few seconds.

Finally left alone, Machi asks why Yuki is there, assuming it’s about the rumor her classmates mentioned. She says she’s done trying to correct everybody, since no one ever seems to believe her anyway. (That is all too relatable, especially in high school.)

But Yuki doesn’t even mind. He asks something else instead: does she hate perfection? And she says yes. TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR.

Wait. My bad.

Anyway, Machi has a flashback to what I believe I’ve mentioned before, which is Machi’s mom forcing her to be perfect so that she could beat Kakeru in the succession war (England?) with her family. When that was called off, her mother would say right in front of her face (jerk) that Machi was boring. Machi asked her why she would say that when she was just trying to do what she was told. Her mother has the gall to be offended by the implication that it’s her fault (IT IS, YOU IDIOT--) and then turns around and says maybe she raised Machi wrong.

Here’s a hint: that’s not what you say to your CHILD.

Poor Machi didn’t know what to do with herself. What is she supposed to do if she’s just a “mistake” her mother made?

Yuki, in his cute way of knowing precisely what she means, tells her she’s worked hard to get where she is, and that he’s glad she’s here. She’s not used to compliments like that, and it’s a very sweet moment. That’s when she admits that she was just trying to take care of her brother, but her parents wrongly and automatically assumed she was jealous and trying to kill him (which says a lot about how god awful they are). And she’s finally able to let it out and cry with Yuki, who offers to go leave footprints in the snow with her.

My heart might’ve burst during that, not gonna lie--

I think my favorite part of the episode is the next day, during a student council meeting. A new, perfect box of chalk is placed in front of Machi, and you can see in her eyes that the perfection is about to make her snap. Yuki, knowing this, calmly reaches over and breaks a piece of chalk, ruining the “perfection” of it. It’s very sweet of him and a very cute moment for both.

Then we cut to Tohru handing Kyo a flower, which is whiplash to the previous episode I’m glad we got.

The next sequence was a bit confusing at first, as I thought we’d sort of covered this already in season one, but we get to see Motoko. She’s called Yuki out in order to tell him that he made her high school days happier, and that she truly loved him. Motoko also hopes that Yuki himself will find happiness, which I think is a nod at her recognizing Tohru’s influence on him. It’s kind of cute, because even Yuki seems to appreciate her words, and we get to cut to a nice graduation song that actually kind of made me cry.

Motoko is still in a classroom when someone finds her. It’s Nao, and it appears that she was the girl he was in love with, which I LOVE. I HOPE HE OR SHE OR THEY ARE HAPPY TOGETHER OR EVEN APART, JUST THAT HE EVENTUALLY GOT TO TELL HER OR SOMETHING AND AHHHHHH. He tells her that goodbye is not the end, and it always leads to “nice to meet you,” which is sweet for both of them, considering her graduation and his being left behind.

Then we get to meet Hiro’s baby sister, Hinata, a true cutie pie. I think I cried here, too, for different reasons.

Finally, we see Kagura having picked up Rin’s diploma (YAY SHE GRADUATED YAYYYY), and wondering where she is despite her mother’s warnings not to investigate. Hatori and Shigure are a bit suspicious, too, and we see Akito with a pair of scissors.... OwO

[I know what happened and I hate it.]

I’m glad I could finally do these, it’s been a couple of weeks of hell, to be honest. Hopefully, Fruits Basket will be back at it again and I’ll have something more to wax poetic about, haha. Thanks for reading!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket final season #kyo and yuki loving hours #also tohru and machi loving hours #all day every day #i like how i highlighted these two couples with the gifs

[shianhygge-imagines]

Sundown 勿忘草 [Reno/Reader]{Final Fantasy VII} Episode 2

AN: Here’s the next part of Sundown Wasurenagusa! I’m sorry that I’ve been slow on posting any new story material! I had a bit of a writers’ block, and I’m still trying to work through it!

I had intended for this to be much longer, but I felt like this part was a good length to post. The first part of this ‘episode’ is going to be formatted weird because I can’t get Tumblr to format a text conversation in the way that I want.

If you like the content I create, please consider donating to my Ko-fi! Please help me feed my tea addiction!

|Masterlist Link|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 12

Reno {07:10}

[Good morning, sleeping beauty]

Me {08:30}

[Morning]

[Do you not need sleep?]

[You probably went to bed late last night]

[And while it truly does make my day to hear from you]

[Why? It’s so early ;.;]

Reno {08:40}

[Can you blame a guy for being eager to talk to you?]

[Lol, Sorry. I didn’t disturb you, did I?]

Me {08:59}

[>///<]

[No, you’re good. I gotta get up to get ready anyways.]

[Flatterer]

Reno {09:34}

[I mean, can you blame me? ;) ]

[So, I was thinking about taking you on a date outside of Midgar, but I realized that I should probably get your opinion on it first]

Me {10:01}

[I mean, that depends? How early do I have to get up on my day off? And how long will it take to get there?]

Reno {10:05}

[Um… well, it’s getting pretty chilly in Midgar, so I was thinking about taking you to Costa del Sol… beach date :P]

Me {10:30}

[…]

[Costa del Sol is pretty far, Reno…]

Reno {10:31}

[And?]

[I’ve got a way]

[Don’t sweat the details]

Me {10:32}

[You’re taking a company helicopter, aren’t you  -.-]

Reno {10:33}

[Ack! You’ve figured out my master plan!]

Me {10:34}

[Are Turks even allowed to take company assets out for joy rides?]

Reno {10:35}

[ TT^TT I told you not to sweat the details!]

Me {10:40}

[I just don’t want you to get into any trouble.]

Reno {10:50}

[Awww, don’t worry about me.]

[You have a party to attend later, so do me a favor and have fun, okay?]

Me {11:03}

[That reminds me…]

Reno {11:05}

[??]

Me {11:11}

[bluedress.jpg sent]

(The image is of you in a sapphire blue dress, the sleeves long and neck high. The dress itself ends just below your knees)

[This dress?]

[reddress.jpg sent]

(The second image is of you in a backless ruby dress that ends just above the knee. There are no sleeves to this dress despite the fact that it has a high neck)

[Or this dress?]

Reno {11:13}

[…]

[Y/N]

Me {11:15}

[Reno]

[???]

Me {12:01}

[If I don’t look good in either of them, just be honest ;.;]

Reno {13:05}

[Gah! Sorry, I got pulled away for something]

[The red one. For sure]

Me {13:06}

[Just because red’s your color… >.>]

[I hope you’re okay, Reno ;.;]

Reno {13:15}

[Hey, first of all, remember what I said about red being your color?]

[I don’t lie, k?]

[But also, yeah. Also because it’s my color, you should wear it ;)]

[Do you have a sixth sense or something?]

[image.jpg]

(Opening up the image file gifts you with a selfie of Reno, looking minorly roughed up and being supported by an infrantryman. He looks like he’s by the old church that Aerith likes to visit. Despite needing to be supported by the infantryman, the red headed Turk’s winking and holding up a peace sign)

[Just a few minor bruises ;P I’ll be fine]

[Unless….]

[You want to kiss me better? ;)]

Me {13:30}

[… Well. I’m sorry for worrying (¬_¬) ]

Reno {13:45}

[Joking, joking! :D]

[All patched up]

Reno {14:07}

[Y/N?]

(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

[I’m sorry.]

[Please talk to meeeeeee]

Me {14:00}

[image.jpg]

(It’s a picture of you in the red dress. Your hair is done up with an attractive amount of make up. You’re wearing a sensible set of black flats.)

[The party starts in an hour, so I might be answering my phone too often.]

[And Costa del Sol sounds perfect for tomorrow ;) I’ve got my outfit all picked out]

Reno {14:15}

[Uh, yeah, that’s gonna be your new contact photo]

[I’m picking you up earlier than we agreed so that we can have more time to relax in the sun]

[Duty calls. Have fun tonight, okay?]

Me {14:20}

[And what? My contact photo for you is going to be this?]

[screenshot.jpg]

(It’s a screenshot of your mobile phone screen. There’s an edit with a red arrow pointing directly at the photo icon for Reno’s contact…it’s the photo that he sent earlier except you’ve photoshopped cartoon ‘uwu’ eyes and added pink anime blush to his cheeks)

[And don’t worry, I’ll probably have enough fun for the both of us.]

[We’ll have fun tomorrow, be safe, okay?]

Reno {14:30}

[I’ll try ;) But if not, I’ll have you to take care of me.]

[Also? That picture?]

[P.E.R.F.E.C.T]

Me {18:30}

[Hope you’re safe!]

[Message me after work to let me know you’re okay!]

[image-2.jpg]

(It’s a group photo of you and your friends in silly poses)

Me {19:21}

[image-3.jpg]

(It’s a close up shot of a delicious plate of food)

[I should have brought you with me ;.;]

|You called Reno| 20:58

[Unable to leave voicemail]

December 13 - 08:21

The morning after the confrontation with AVALANCHE at the Sector 7 Pillar, one would expect the medical bay in Shinra HQ to be jam packed full of patients. There should have been a horde of doctors and nurses, running around to treat the injured infantryman and civilian survivors. But there were only two individuals in the med bay, Reno and Rude. When the plate fell, only a handful of infantryman were able to escape the chaos. Many were left behind to fend for themselves.

Despite surviving a helicopter crash and the brawl with Tifa, Barret, and Cloud, Rude only sustained a few bruises and minor bone fractures. He had been assigned bedrest after being treated by the doctors, but the weight of what he and his partner had been tasked to do twelve hours ago felt like an overwhelming burden. Needing something to keep his mind occupied, the taller of the iconic Turk duo simply engrossed himself in a novel that Elena had brought over during her visit.

On the bed beside Rude’s, Reno groaned in pain as he sat up, eyes still not open and alert as he raised a hand to press against his pounding head. “Gah, what the hell.” Reno’s face stung at the cheeks when his face scrunched up at the pain that seemed to come from every part of him. Even the act of sitting up proved too painful due to his newly broken ribs.

Rude watched his partner sink back into the sheets from his own medical bed, sunglasses on as was usual of him. He wondered how long it would take Reno to realize that it had been nearly twelve hours since they had dropped the plate. He also wondered when his sassy partner in crime would realize that he had a date this morning. Of course, Rude didn’t think you’d get angry at Reno for missing a date when he was hospitalized, but the taller of the iconic Turk pair knew that Reno would never forgive himself for skipping out on you.

While Rude watched, Reno allowed his body to collapse back into bed, an exhausted and pained groan escaping his lips as he want, arms flopping onto the bed as he fought to remember what had happened to land him in such a pitiful state.

Oh yeah…Rude and I went to Sector 7’s plate… and we fought blondie’s group of self righteous freedom fighters… and then…I blacked out. Cracking both eyes open, Reno furrowed his brows and turned his head to examine his surroundings. Med bay back at HQ… The red head swiveled in place to stare at Rude, “The mission….” He trailed off with a questioning tone.

His partner merely grunted, “We finished it and escaped.” Lacking in detail, but still straight to the point.

Sighing in relief that his work track record wouldn’t have a stain on it, Reno flopped back down, “Whooo…” The red head cheered sarcastically, pumping a fist without any energy or cheer behind it. Gah, and I promised Y/N that I’d be safe… Reno’s eyes snapped open and he bolted to a seating position with an alarmed cry, “Crap! Y/N! What time is it?” Shit, I gotta message her to let her know that I’m going to be running late! The Turk second in command thought as he pat down his person for his cell phone.

When he couldn’t find it, Reno turned to his partner, who gestured towards the bedside table. “It was damaged during our fight with AVALANCHE, but it should still be working.”

Not paying any attention to the fact that he was now bleeding through the bandages wrapped around his abdomen, Reno grinned, “Whooo boy! Partner, you’re a life saver!”

The sheer amount of relief within Reno voice made Rude stop and stare at his partner. Hmm… maybe Reno’s serious about her after all.

Meanwhile, Reno quickly unlocked his phone screen, ignoring the fact that the glass display seemed shattered beyond repair. When he pulled up the chat room that he shared with Y/N, Reno cursed, “Five missed messages and one missed call.” Quickly reading through the text messages, and smiling at how much fun you were having at the party, Reno tapped out a quick message in reply to you before listening to the voicemail that you had left.

Yesterday

Y/N {19:21}

[image-3.jpg]

(Reno’s mouth watered at the sight of the food in the picture)

[I should have brought you with me ;.;]

|Missed call from Y/N| 20:58

[Click to listen to voicemail]

Today - December 13

Me {08:43}

[Gah, sorry Y/N, I may have bit off more than I could chew yesterday.]

[I just woke up in the med bay at HQ]

[I’m going to be a little late picking you up]

[And I’m a little roughed up]

[But nothing is stopping me from taking you on our date!]

[See you in an hour?]

When Reno lifted his damaged cell phone to listen to the voicemail that you had left him, the only sound that reached his ears was an error notification that the voice recording app had failed. “I’m sorry, but the voicemail recording that you wish to listen to failed to load properly. Please quite all applications before trying again. If the problem still persists, please contact Shinra Mobile’s technical support service to resolve this issue.” The phone recording informed Reno, pleasantly.

Knowing from experience that getting through to technical support at the current hour was next to impossible, Reno merely tapped out another message.

Me {08:47}

[Hey, the voicemail that you sent to me didn’t go through.]

[What was it about?]

Satisfied with the messages that he’d sent out, Reno shifted to get out of bed, an excited grin on his lips. “Welp! Time to get going! Got a wonderful day off with a gorgeous gal!”

Sighing, Rude lowered the novel to look in his partner’s direction. “Your date with Y/N?” When Reno only gave a sassy shrug in reply, Rude shook his head, “Just remember, you’re still injured.”

“Will do, partner!” Reno saluted the older man before dashing out of the med bay, dodging the nurses swiftly as he made his way to the elevators, itching to get back to the Turk dorms to change into something that would help him blend into the slum crowds of Sector 5. On his way to his room, the red headed Turk would raise his phone to check for any new messages, lowering it in disappointment every time there was no response.

“That’s weird, normally she responds by now.” Reno mused, sending out another quick text once he’d changed into dark jeans, a red hoodie, and a dark beige trucker jacket.

Me {09:12}

[I’m on my way to your place now.]

[Are you awake?]

Around twenty minutes later, on the helicopter ride down to the Sector 5 slums, Reno furrowed his brows and bit the inside of his lip when you didn’t respond again.

Me {09:32}

[Y/N?]

[Please answer.]

[I’m on a helicopter down now]

[Message back. I’m getting worried.]

When there is still no response, Reno taps on your contact and brings the phone up to his ear, trying to call you.

“Hey, this is Y/N. I’m probably away from the phone right now, so leave a message, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible.”

Straight to voicemail.

Something wasn’t right, and Reno could feel it in his bones.

When the helicopter started to land in the Shinra barracks, Reno didn’t even wait for the helicopter to fully land before jumping out of the aerial vehicle, landing solidly before taking off in a sprint towards your apartment.

She’s not answer any of the text messages… Did she lose her phone last night? Did she accidentally break it?… Did she find out what I did yesterday? Is she ignoring me?

The worries and thoughts that raced through Reno’s mind became more and more self-depricating as he neared entered the main town area and brushed past the crowds of people gathered in the streets. I know I said it was too late to grow a conscious, but damn it, please don’t let this be the reason she decides that she doesn’t want me around.

All but flying up the metal steps to your apartment, Reno starts to bang on your front door, calling your name in the meanwhile. “Y/N!” Bang bang bang “It’s Reno!” Bang bang bang “You weren’t answering your phone. Are you ready to go?” It took another few minutes of knocking before Reno head a door open below and slow footsteps ascend the metal stairwell.

Turning and expecting to see you standing there, Reno’s shoulders visibly slumped when he came face to face with a tiny old lady. “Oh, uh. Sorry for causing a disturbance.”

“Are you looking for Y/N, young man?” The old woman inquired, tilting her head to look up at Reno through friendly old eyes.

Feeling as if he was being judged by the elderly woman, Reno stood ramrod straight and nodded, clearing his throat, “Uh, yeah. We had plans for today.”

The old woman nodded sagely, “I see, I see. Ah, to be young again. I’m sorry to disappoint you, young man, but Y/N hasn’t been home since yesterday afternoon. I think she’s still at her friend’s home.”

The first traces of alarm flashed through Reno’s head, and suddenly his Turk persona was back, “Do you happen to know where her friend lives, ma’am?”

The old woman shook her head, “I only know that dear Selene doesn’t live in Sector 5. I’m sorry, young man.”

Suddenly jittery, Reno only nods and descends the metal staircase again, “Thanks for the help. I should get going.”

Reno doesn’t hear the old woman’s reply because he’s sprinting back towards the Shinra barracks, ears ringing and vision narrowed as he contacts a friend in Shinra’s tech department for help tracking down your cell phone’s location and retrieving the voicemail you’d left him. And while his friend works on it, Reno decided to change into a clean set of his uniform, mind suddenly kicked into overdrive as he tries to recall where you said your friend’s party was.

Gah, Reno… you pay attention to everything else she says, but you can’t figure out where her friend Selene lives? Some Turk you are! Reno scolds himself as he paces back and forth in Y/N’s office, somehow trying to find comfort in familiar surroundings. Damnit, think! What has she mentioned in the past about her friends. I only remember her talking about living in Sector 7 for a whi- Reno pauses in his steps as dread begins to pool in his stomach. “No.” He doesn’t want to entertain the possibility that you had gone to a party at your childhood sector the same night that he was tasked with dropping the plate on top of hundreds. But the more that Reno thinks about it, the more likely the possibility is, and he sinks to his knees in the middle of your office, eyes wide with horror and denial. “No… I refuse to believe it. Gotta wait for-”

His phone chimes with a notification.

Pulling out his phone as fast as possible without fumbling the already hazardously damaged device, Reno unlocks the screen, only to see that a voice file had been sent to him along with tracking coordinates.

Clicking on the voicemail and tracker, Reno’s frown deepens and his face pales as he stares at the map of Sector 7 Slums with a red dot in the center of it, the sounds of your final message to him playing in the background.

No.

The voice recording loops until Reno regains his bearings, body shaking and eyes burning as his ears pick up the sounds of explosions in the background, of your sobs as you fought to leave a last message for the man who had thoughtlessly killed you, and of your fear and acceptance that you wouldn’t live past that moment. The phone slips from his hands and clatters to the floor as Reno’s fingers go slack. “No… I didn’t… Y/N…” A strangled sob escapes Reno’s lips as he raises a hand to grip onto his hair, trying to maintain his composure, “I didn’t mean to… If I’d known, I would have…” The Turk second in command paused and hunched in on himself, not caring if anyone could see him through the glass walls of your office.

M-maybe she left her phone behind when she ran? But… if she’s not there, then where would she have gone if not home?

There weren’t any excuses or any other reason he could come up with. Reno knew that. If he had known beforehand that you would be in Sector 7 Slums, he would have warned you, but you would have tried to evacuate as many people as possible from that sector, and AVALANCHE might have managed to leave, therefore ending in a failed mission. He would have done everything he could to make sure you stayed away from Sector 7, but in the end, he’d still go through with the mission.

“I killed her.” Reno sobbed in realization, biting his bottom lip so hard that he tasted copper, “Just like I killed all those people.” Shaking his head, inconsolable, Reno could only mourn quietly. “I’m just the worst. This is karma for all the shit things I did in life, isn’t it?”

Eyes dulled and slightly puffy, Reno hastily wiped at his face and sat down with his back against your desk, his phone ringing with notifications as Tseng and Rude sent him requests for ‘status’ updates. And the Turk second in command ignored his colleagues, eyes staring into nothingness as he wreaked his brain for what to do next.

I really was looking forward to the date. Reno’s thoughts trailed off, It’s sappy as hell, but I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend. Tseng said that relationships for Turks never ended well, citing Veld as an example, but… gah! This is the worst situation for Tseng to be right!

It was only the early afternoon… maybe he could start a search party for survivors… it was probably too late, but Reno knew that he had to do something to look for you. With renewed purpose, Reno got to his feet and marched out of your office, blue eyes burning with fiery determination as he hung onto the faint hope that you might have survived.

December 13 - 12:13

You groaned in pain and shifted your body, eyes cracking open to be met with blinding industrial lights. The pain from the glaring lights startled you into closing your eyes again, turning until your body was facing away from them. For a moment, you wondered why you were laying on some sort of weird metallic floor instead of your soft bed, and then the memories of a falling sky sent your eyes flying back open as you took in your surroundings.

The floor was indeed cold and metallic because it looked as if you’d woken up in a maintenance passage. Despite most maintenance passages usually being dimly lit, the one you found yourself lying in was lit from both of the walls. The ceiling above your face had a hole in it, though it was covered with metal and concrete chunks. You assumed, as you clambered to your feet, that you’d fallen through that hole and rolled a few feet away due to the pile of rubble directly beneath the hole. Wincing slightly, you poked and prodded your person for bruises, broken bones, or fractures. Slightly satisfied with just a few small skin lesions, bruises, and maybe a fractured rib, you patted yourself down for your mobile phone, hoping to call for help. Frowning, you found that you did not have your cell phone on you, nor was it anywhere on the floor near you.

Since you hadn’t expected to live through a plate falling on top of you, you could only look on the bright side of things, turning to walk down the metal tunnel with determination set on your face. I didn’t almost die from a plate falling just to give up in an empty tunnel. Plus, a fond smile appeared on your face, I have a date waiting for me when I get back topside.

It seemed pretty simple to you. You’d falling who knows how far down, but you knew for sure that the way out was up. So the only thing to do was to keep walking until you found a passage up. Easy peasy.

December 13 - 15:35

There’s a fierce snarl on Reno’s face as he stands by several parked helicopters. All around him, emergency responders and Shinra infantrymen scrambled to load up supplies and equipment. The dark look on the normally sassy, easy-going Turk’s face seemed like a literal beacon for anyone not bearing good news to stay the away. Though, if some of the troops were to be honest, Reno had very good reason to be irate. The Turk second in command had called in an emergency rescue operation for survivors trapped among the plate wreckage nearly three and a half hours ago, and they were only just beginning to start the rescue operation.

After Tseng, the Turk commander, had authorized the mission to rescue anyone buried under the rubble, the mission had quickly been side-tracked by Shinra executives Scarlet and Heideggar. Scarlet had protested against the operation simply because of the notion that dogs living in the slums were of no use to Shinra, and therefore, the mission was a waste of resources. Heideggar, meanwhile, had agreed that while in times of disaster, Shinra’s army bore the responsibility of launching operations to rescue civilians affected, the members of AVALANCHE were widely unknown and could easily disguise themselves as regular civilians.

It took nearly two hours of careful negotiations and subtle ego inflating by Tseng and Reeve, before both executives agreed to support the relief effort. Viewing it as a strategic move to improve public opinion of the Shinra Company, President Shinra gave little to no resistance when Tseng forwarded the mission brief to be sanctioned.

Now, an hour after the mission was sanctioned, Reno felt the beginnings of a headache forming as he directed the flow of supplies to each helicopter before making sure that there were rotations of supplies and emergency responders that would journey to and from the wreckage of Sector 7 once he landed with the first round of helicopters.

When he had deemed all in good order to head out, Reno sighed and hopped into the helicopter cockpit, buckling himself in to the pilot’s seat. Plopping the headset on while he waited for the rest of the crew to load up into the helicopter, Reno busied himself with flipping switches to make sure that pre-flight and the ride down to Sector 7 would be as smooth as possible. When his co-pilot buckled himself in and gave Reno the thumbs up, the red headed Turk spoke as clearly and seriously as he could into the mic. “Alright guys and gals in all active units, hope you’re all buckled up with headsets on because I sure as hell will not be repeating this briefing.” After a brief pause, Reno continued to speak while directing the helicopter off the platform. “You all probably heard about what happened yesterday. The official reports from HQ state that AVALANCHE launched an attack to compromise Sector 7’s plate pillar. Despite all efforts directed to stop the terrorist attack, the plate still fell. Our job is to go down to the disaster zone to provide relief to all affected civilians. We will also be launching search and rescue operations for survivors.” Reno paused once more as helicopter gained enough air to safely fly out of the landing zone. “I’m gonna be real with you all. Someone important to me was in Sector 7’s Slums when the plate fell and I’m going to try my damnest to look for her. So if any of you fuck this up… not gonna lie, I’m gonna be pissed.” Nobody replied to Reno’s admittance… not that he really expected much of a reply after he dropped that bomb on them. Having enough of the silence, Reno exhaled, “Alright… good talk.”

December 13 - 16:03

It wasn’t easy peasy. Definitely fucking not.

The chrome walkways and exposed piping-lined maintenance passage that you had fallen into hadn’t been a simple few meters under the surface as you thought. No. It’s was more like several meters down with a layer of minor blocked off passageways right above. And, as if that weren’t terrible already? The maze of pathways that made up the layer above seemed to take joy in bringing you up a level, just to drop you back down a level because some asshole decided to seal off the passages at various points.

Your eye twitched in annoyance when you walked down a metal walkway only to be face to face with another fenced off passage lined with reinforced plating. To your surprise, you could see a man stumble around the corner of the opposite side. When you saw one another, your eyes widened. “Holy shit!” The man gasped, stumbling forward with a noticeable limp and sliced up arm. “I didn’t think there’d be another person down here!”

“This place is like a maze, so I’m not surprised that any survivors had yet to meet up. A-are… are you okay?” The blood leaking from the deep scratches in his left arm seemed to ooze a poisonous purple color.

The stranger bit his bottom lip as he hastily hid his injury, “Yeah… I’ll be fine. Listen, girl, you should watch out while down here. I think the rumors about the underground lab were true after all. There are monsters running around everywhere.” Your expression must have been one of utter dismay and despair because the man coughed and reached into his pocket to roll two materia under the fence. “Uh. Shit. Well, it looks like you could use these then. It’s a Cura and a Fira. Hopefully you won’t need it, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Anyways, I hope you make it out of here, girl. I gotta keep looking for other AVALANCHE survivors.”

When the man made to jog away, you called out to him, “Wait! You said that you’re looking for AVALANCHE members? Are you one of them? Do you know what happened?” You pressed yourself against the fence in order to see the stranger from around the corner.

The stranger turned around to stare at you with a grim expression. “Whatever you’re thinking, AVALANCHE didn’t cause this, okay? We were framed by Shinra.” At your confused expression, the man scoffed, “C’mon, you really think that Shinra was going to let civilians protest and riot against them? They couldn’t figure out who was a member and who wasn’t, so they figured they’d drop the entire plate on top of us to get rid of us all.”

“But that’s such a drastic move!” You protested, wanting to believe that your employers wouldn’t have such blatant disregard for human life. “They wouldn’t just sacrifice thousands to eliminate AVALANCHE!”

“Believe what you want, girl. But the reality is that my friends and I all went to the pillar to stop Shinra from dropping the plate, and it dropped anyways because two Turks were sent to finish the job.” The stranger didn’t allow you to retort as he limped away. Not that you would have responded anyways with how the stranger had said that two Turks had arrived to help ensure that the Sector 7 plate dropped.

Pulling away from the fence, you knelt down to pick up the two orbs of materia, the color of your skin taking on a sickly pale pallor. Two Turks were sent to the pillar to drop the plate on top of all of us. Your mind instantly supplied the first Turk pair that you could think of and you felt like you were going to dry heave. I don’t know Rude too well, but from what I know, he and Reno wouldn’t do something so horrendous. Surely, there must have been another pair of Turks who were sent to do it. But you did work in a different department as them, how did you know that there were more members of the Turks? And with Reno’s position within the group… He could have known what was happening…

You told Reno that you would be hanging out with your best friend… that you guys were having a party. He’s smart enough to deduce that your friends still lived in Sector 7… Did he forget? Or… Your stomach churned violently as you sank to your knees on the cold metal walkway. Did Reno just decide he didn’t care if I survived or not?

The edge of your vision burned with tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. A simple blink sent them trailing down your cheeks as you stood upon shaky legs. “Can’t worry about that now.” You muttered, eyes filled with determination as you gathered the excess fabric of your dress to gird up your loins. “I need to find a way out of here. The tunnels might not be able to hold for long.”

Lifting your arm, you pressed one of the materia into your forearm, like you’d seen a few SOLDIERs do before, marveling at how the orb of power sank into the flesh of your arm. Smiling at how seamless it was to merge flesh with Materia, you pressed the other faintly glowing orb into your other forearm, concentrating for a bit before casting Cura upon yourself.

Newly rejuvenated, you back tracked through the metal corridor to find the ladder leading down. “Welp, there’s no time like the present,” you mumbled to yourself as you descended further into the tunnels below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#shian imagines #final fantasy vii #Final Fantasy 7 #ffvii #ffviir #final fantasy vii remake #ffvii:remake #reno #reno x reader #final fantasy vii reno

[viktcrr]

「maxence danet-fauvel & nonbinary」⇾ samuels, viktor, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he/they are a capricorn and 24 years old. he/they are studying visual arts, living in noland and can be observant, ingenious, reticent & dependent. when i see him/them i am reminded of a sculptor’s hands clay-ridden, the insistent hum of tv static, and a crying preacher inside a dusty funeral home.  ⇽「james & 21 & est & they/them.」

hllo !!! i’m james n here’s one of my big idiot muses <3 he’s not actually dumb he’s :/ a bit evil. bt thts okay hes still <3 beloved <3 LKDSFHLSADLKGFSHLKD anyways!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basic info.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: pansexual uwu

pinterest

stats

inspired by: beetlejuice (beetlejuice), sid (toy story), jack sparrow (pirates of the caribbean), francis wilkerson (malcolm in the middle), azula (avatar: the last airbender), vicky (the fairly oddparents), stu macher / billy loomis (scream), marshall lee (adventure time), bojack horseman (bojack horseman), any it’s always sunny character :/

biography.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in rochester, new york - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his Thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3D art AP course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to radcliffe but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to radcliffe to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, especially since the one year anniversary of tatiana’s death was this month (january) - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

UPDATE: now that summer’s come n go ... viktor hs been thru <3 a lot <3 recently. switched therapists (his :/ last one got her license revoked) & started new medications, went to a treatment center briefly ‘cos .. he wasn’t doing too well :/ bt now he’s back baybey! trying to be better n trying to be sober but ... :/

personality.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.

can appreciate the lore & cryptids at radcliffe and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a Lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all teir money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away HBDSJFNGKH

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a TWIG but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

a roommate… but it’s an absolute nightmare to live with him.

enemies… because viktor would have a lot of them…

familiar faces… people who knew tatiana or of her / were her friends. maybe even those who dated her, and who viktor would’ve tried to intimidate / scare at any given chance :/

pitiful glances… people who take pity on viktor and he hates it sooo much.

hooligan gremlin kids… just a friend group of grown ass adults who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers.

high school girlfriend… probably the one he lost his virginity to inside his family church :/

childhood acquaintances… people who knew him from his youth.

exes… good & bad terms, but mostly bad terms because viktor is an actual demon. probably cheated on them.

soft… i don’t know if he’s soft towards anyone and/or is capable of it but we can try. we can try.

unrequited… either viktor just doesn’t like them or he’s holding back because he’s :/ got issues with relationships & is self-sabotaging as one does

enemies with Tension… of the … spicy kind if you know what i mean. wink.

friends… old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. i don’t know how many he had but if your muse likes to cause a ruckus and fuck shit up then viktor’s your man.

hook-ups… current or old. friends with benefits, one night stands, anything and everything because he fucks around a lot.

ride or die… friendship but make it extreme.

bad influence… he’s just toxic to be around and brings out the worst in people :/

bad egg… he’s gotten into a few fights :/ maybe you witnessed it. maybe you were in it.

literally anything i wld love all sorts of plots.

#ruhqintro #death tw #grief tw #drug abuse tw #addiction tw #overdose tw #hospitalization tw #hypersexuality tw #religion mention

[due4amiracle]

Day 471

Listo:

Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Laundry/cleaning - Some garbage thrown away, always more to go! ✔

Reading things - - 3 Ebooks for me, 0 Audiobook for Sir! ...Yea. 218 for the year, 25 for the month! - Vampire Dawn (Vampire for Hire #5) by J.R. Rain 53%! Chugged through sommore of this before i read my email and saw i had a hold come in lmao. - House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson 3%! HOLD CAME IN ahh i’m very very excited for this one! - Spells for Forgetting by Adrienne Young 100%! 3🌟 You know what. It was pretty decent. It went places i wasn’t prepared for, but it left us with a tiny teaser of something that maybe, one day, mayhaps, might be A Thing. Or not. That’s fine too. UwU♡ ✔✔✔✔

Dailies - - Waifu Did mah dailies! Also, level 0/50 BP now~! AND! Tree lvl 40/50! Also! 27/43 max friendship namecards acquired! New MONTH! new weeklies! Gem thingy now level 9/10! ♡ω♡✔

#TTRPGThings - More preparations! AHH! +0 -> 2448 words for the backstory! More kitten things! They’re getting adopted and i’m all weepy about it!✔

Watching things - - Vancouver by Night: Season 1 - Episode 10/19! - 100 Club: Episode 5/??! So... behind... oh no... x_x; - New York by Night: Season 1 - Episode 8/8! SEASON TWO T O M O R R O W AHHH

Other things - Daily Diarrhea Diary - Okish. CPAP timer - ?.? hours with ?.0?disturbances. ???/9. CPAP so confused. i took the mask off last night and read the 4.8 on the screen. i know i did. This morning? There it sits, a big fat 0. i’m very confused. It’s very confused. But! It’s got night before last’s numbers at 4.7 0.2 so... ??? idk. i’m sure this will continue. i’ve got it written down and i am going to take it with me to my appointment tomorrow. So yea.

In other news! We learned so many things today. First and foremost - we cannot be removed from this apartment unless we suddenly commit a felony, start doing/dealing drugs, or other such chaos. That’s it. Once you’re in, you’re in. Whew. Secondly, Sir’s income, because He hasn’t worked for at least a year before this, will not count against rent (aka increase rent) for the first year He works, then the second year it will count halfsies, and the third year it will count fully. That’s... wild. And amazing. Thirdly, as to His Medicaid - Medicaid counts us each as single families, because we are not married, so He would lose Medicaid. But because of The Bad C currently still going on, Medicaid is not removing people. At all. Period. So He will not lose Medicaid until things change. Then it’s ACA and you get what you pay for, so, find the good stuff, and pay good for it. So all of that to say - 40 hours a week is a go. We are already planning on money uses and expenditures and Fixing The Car and Building Battle Stations and Donating Money To Places and other stuff. It’s... wild. It’s amazing. This is the most income we’ve literally ever fucking had. Whew.

Also had my Therapist appointment today, she’s so thrilled for us. But bless her, her poor shitting-the-bed computer just would not acknowledge her camera or her microphone. At all. Period. Thankfully someone in corporate or somewhere apparently got fed up with constantly getting called about The Computers Are Fuckin’ Dying Again WTF Fix It and new computers are being built to arrive Soon™️ so that’s fantastic. So essentially, we sat in Zoom, with me on cam, but us talking on the phone. It was hilarious. It was a great appointment overall.

Anyways. No perioding. Oof my head Hurts, mild abdominal pain, both ears ache, back aches, joints all just kinda ache, lungs kinda grungy. Mood was overall pretty decent, after the stress was relieved, and sobbing about kittens getting adopted, but i’m very tired so. Ya know, SSDD.

Food: A Liquid: A Pain: C Brain: B

Tomorrow: Laundry/cleaning, Reading, Dailies, #TTRPGThings, Watching.

Ever Onwards and Upwards!

#Multiple Sclerosis #ADHD #OCD #Arthritis #Spoonie #Daily #TTRPGThings #CPAP #therapist #House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson #Spells for Forgetting by Adrienne Young #Vampire Dawn (Vampire for Hire 5) by J.R. Rain #Food: A #Liquid: A #Pain: C #Brain: B #headache #ear ache #backache #joints ache #aches and pains #Lungs #exhausted #SSDD

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 9 Part 2

aaaannnnnd we’re back!

every time i watch this i feel more and more sad that not every trainee got to debut esp as we narrow down the amount of boyos who’re here

bc theyre all so talented :(

but anyways

my phone’s not plugged in, i have water, my m&ms are gone

as mr long ass ride mark lee himself would say, lezgeddit

there are two?  maybe 3 stages left?

awww yixing is so cuteeee

his and jiang dawei’s greeting was so cutee

REBUILD DSATAEAGE

REBUILD STAGE

REAAKJG;ALKFJ;EAWFPOAWHE

MINGMING IN THIS SUIT HHHHH

kajs;flkds why does wenhan look like a disapproving mother im screaming

oh my goooodddd

hes literally doing the most before competing with bo yuan for it i

prince charming is so extra

everyone just watching him adlfjsdklj

shenshen is literally like the epitome of ......

ok i get that like “the competition is fierce” or w/e but also hanhan looks so soft in that sweatshirt im *pleading emoji*

afdjasdkl; shenshen moving in the background like a crab kills the man

pretty koala UwU

mingze mingze mingze

he holds free rent free realestate in my head

asklkdfl;aksdjf;ads the face that shenshen makes i

bittch me too the fuck

how does mingming look good blurry i hate it here

rabbit teeth baby boy im love himmm

also this is like the first time hanhan is competing for center so this inch resting

i hate them alfjalskdj

“we should stand handsomely”

mingming looking into the camera like hes in the office

falksjdfas;lkjf li zhenning said i am not having any of this shit turn around nerds

kadsj;lfkajsd them saying “i know who yangyang is going to choose”

the WAWWY SHENSHEN’S VOICE CRACKED I LOVE ONE (1) MAN

i love how the boys are imitating yixing 

shenshen is loving this

mingze is having too much fun i love to see it

akdsjf;lkas why cant i get a good picture of wenhan looking like a prince lakjdf;ks

bo yuan almost went into cardiac arrest alkfjalksdj

oh my god shenshen T.T

hes babie

li wenhan is a dramatic rabbit aldkfjaslkd

chunyang baby bbird imlove him

wkeakjskew chunyang what the fuck was that alskljfas

wenhannnnn

shenshennie is the cutest im *smiling face with three hearts*

*insert kermit holding the phone with hearts meme*

al;ksjdfklasdjf at this point i feel liek yangyang is just trying to fuck with wenhan

which

valid

ajsdlkfjadskjf he’’s so disappointed aldjkfslkad

mingze i have a ring just say the word

MIANGASKDJFA;SKLD

MINGZE’S FACE I

its really bully xixi hour in the groupchat

alkdjfaksd

i want a social media au for this stage adksjfskdj

i can jsut imagine them roasting xixi on twitter a ajds;faklsjd

xixi is babie

the proof is in the playback footage alkdfjalksjfd

hes like y e e t  gotta gooo

;lajsf;lkasjfasldk mINGMING OH MY GOD

MINGZE IN THE BACKGROUNADS FLAKDJFL;KADSJF;LKADKJF

bububuubbubu

alkkjfadsk

xixi: “[ymm] bullied me :(”

ymm: “like hell i did”

LI WENHAN DID NOT JUST CALL ZHENNING A SEXY KOALA

....he called himself king of stage

i hate him

i know ive probably mentioned it before but the fact that i get mickey d’s commercials in chinese is kind of hilarious

STAGE TIME STAGE TIME

STAEAGKAW;KLERJEA TIEMA

IM READY

god wenhan looks good

i want to preface this with an i have watched this stage a lot like a lot a lot

*jolin tsai voice* li zhenning

yangyang’s hair oml

mingmign pleaes

mingze pelase

my boys look so good

ugh the floral and gray suit i think abou tthis look A LOT

i cant get over the fact that ash calls xixi chicken legs

shenshen please i love you

wenhan that outfit ugh

LET ME SHOW THE WAY TO UUUU

BEATING ALL THE TRICK FOR YOUUUUU

NO OH OH OH OH

god they look so good

yaaas yangyang!!!

im so proud of him

i cant get over this stage ever its so good

i love everything about it

mingze ugh im so love

his rap is so good please im in love

literally mingming please

god theyre good im T.T

bo yuan with the mf high note we love 

he changxi what the FUCK WAS THAT MOVE

THROUGHT THE FIRE FUCK

UGH I LOVE THIS STAGE

LITERALLY MINGMING LOOKED SO GOOD

YOU GUYS

YOU G U Y S

MY BIAS IS OUT HERE AND I AM SCREAMING

one of my favorite stages i swear to god

awww linmo sipping on his fruit milk drink UwU baobeiii

there we go!!!  got my prince charming picture finally

whoever put him in bright pink lipstick deserves an oscar

that was a genius move and i lvoe it

god that crowd feels too close to the stage for me

home town time!!!!

mingze and wenhan from the same hometown?

mabye anyways

hes from ne china

can i visit shenyang imperial palace please its so pretty pleeeaaaassseee

the strange slope what the fuck thats 

i have to look it up after this so i can find out why it does that

no one knows!?

its one of 3 mysterious mountains apparently in that area

gotta go to shenyang i guess and see it irl

mingze did not adslkjfasdlkjf

zhennings turn and mingze goes “koala, which forest do you live in”

i hate them

arent you from the same company????

weirdos

shenshen smiles so much in this episode i love to see it!

chaoshan steamed vermicelli roll

looks so ooooo good

thats so cute that shenshen got to talk about his local dialects and phrases i love when theyre able to do that!

ramen time ramen time

mc jin is so fun genuinely i do love him and his personality

wish we couldve gotten him for qcyn2

MAZE!!!

wenxuannie-ah

guan yue

wang zhe!

oh my god theyre arranged by height

a;dfjalksdjfasd guan yue just hid ding feijun in the head im screaming

wenxuan looks like he wants to die adlfkjfskl

OH MY GOD I DIDNT REALIZE HE WAS THAT TALL I NEED SEVERAL MINUTES

he’s 6′0

i uh

yeah

so maze!

oh thats right

wenxuan was part of the tinder stage before getting voted out

yikes

uhhhhh

yeah

if he stayed all the yuehua boys wouldve been together for the first time since their audition stage right

yieks

anyways

jesus wenxuan stop being a bitter old man

fl;jkas;lkfdjas f

guan yue: maybe if you ate some fruit you would calm down

gy and dfj are really trying their best to make the other guys feel better but its not working :/

everyone else: complaining

din feijun pretending not to hear them: ANYWAYS

wenxuan literally looks like “if these cameras werent here right now i swear to god”

asdkfjasdklfjasd

chengze i

OH MY GOD

GUAN YUE DIDNT

“IF YOU WANT TO CRY GO CRY IN YOUR DORMITORY” IM

OH MY GOD IM IN LVOE WIT H WENUXANNN

not news but i feel like i needed to restate it

dkasfja;lksdjfasd wang zhe’s i

i die

“you know.  wow.” *soft clap*

everyone else: ......

aodsjfaksld

this is so much funnier than mc jin making zhe mimick him

l;kajds;lfkasdj everyone looks so disappointed

asjdfjaskdfaj;skdl guan yue is so tinieeeeee

i love him

li zonglin is really complimented by the yellow color of the maze group

oh my gooooddd

can i pleaaaassseee hang out with guan yue for like a day???

hes so adorable

i just wanna smooch his forehead and squimpsh him cheeks

lowkey

lowkey

its super cute how guan yue said “from the moment they walked in they were my teammates and so they all have to embrace the childlike happiness of this song”

sorry what the fuck???

is that all we get for the practice for maze???

fucking rude

but anyways

the opening is super nerdy aldkfjsdlkj

oh my god they put a heart in wang zhe’s hair im emo

wenxuan looks good in purple

honestly i think zhe and wenxuan kinda suit this stage a lot

but thats whatever aklfdj

he looks so cuuuuteeee

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME WENXUAN MADE A HEART WITH HIS ARMS AND IQIYI CUT AWAY FROM HIM

CRIMINAL ACT

ugh this stage is so cuteeee

awwww they put little colored somethings in their hair im soooo fucking sofft omg

ak;ldjfakds baobeeeiiii

hes so cuteeee

THEY GAVE HUAIWEI GREEN HAIR FOR TINDER AND IM JJST NOW FINDING OUT

CRIMINAL ACTS ARE OCCURING HERE I SWEAR TO GOD

oh my goddd

wang zhe with the arm heart im emoo

im going to gif the fuck out of this stage on god

oh my god this is the best stage bc its so cuteeee

oh my god the lil paws iiiii

its so cuteee

alkdfjasdklf he’s the big bad monsterrrr im akjfa;lksdj;fasfdk

omg theres a lil heart on zhe’s face too i

guyyysss

this was the best stage of this round bc it was so cute and fun i love it

i would die for any and all of these boys and you can quote me on that

hometown time!!

shi zhan and guan yue are from the same hometown

ooohhh prettyt

ciqikou is a place to visit

aslkldjfalskdjf wenxuan’s “wahow”

they keep zooming in on wenxuan swallowing adlkfjasdl;kjf

shi zhan really said if you find that the small noodles from chongqing taste like anywhere else’s its on sight*

*me eating the noodles

li zonglin and ding feijun are from hong kong!  cool cool cool

i deffo want to go there

me and wenxuan have the same braincell

oooh those foods look so good

next stage!

time stage

longhan looks

GO OD

they really called themselves 8 treasure porridge apparently

my eyes are literally only focused on longhan thoooo

not to be ugh im in love with longhan

but uhhh

:)

ok perhaps my eyes stray a tad to shao haofan but for the most part

longhan focus

if this man starts crying all bets are off

fucking

xu fangzhou is making me cry into my ice cream i HATE IT HERE

fuck is everyone in the training room crying now

shit fine i guess i’ll cry now

yeah we crying

keep scrolling 

if i start laughing i’ll start sobbing even tho this part isnt sad anymore

i literally hate it here

ok stage time

v steampunk opening

xu longhan i *ring emoji*

idk why this is giving me mafia!au vibes but it is

yaaassss sijian omg

fangzhou’s voice is really nice

longhan’s legs are so long

like i knew this but still

im in lvoe with him

thanks for coming ot my tedtalk

fangzhou is really putting his heart and soul into this performance

longhan like

you giuyyys

im sorry i love a man in velvet

i blame yanjun for my love of men in trench coats

fully and 100%

their set was really fucking cool to look at tho

wyh do lian huaiwei keep looking not happy :(

hometown time!

i love them teasing longhan about his accent alkd;jfasldkj

he takes it really well

results time already??

wowowow

who got no. 1 in each team

oh or not ok then

who is that guy?? again the cultural background i do not have

if next episode is another elimination episode i swera to god

anyways!  that’s it for this episode!!!

thank you for reading!!

stay safe and stay healthy <333333

#unine's run #youth with you #ywy #cpop #idol producer #e9 p2 #jae.txt #jae.wwm

[beihonglin]

do you know why cai xukun left swin? I'm confused about what happened to that group and why they all separated, but I'm clueless as to where / how to find more information about them! If you could explain a bit, that would truly be so helpful, thank you!!!

hi! kunkun was in the music/dance subunit of swin, swin-s, and left after their debut ep, new world. he was in their 《New World》 mv here and their 《只因你太美》dance practice video here. he was also in their 161112 dorm livestream here, where he was roommates with liu ye (uwu!!). 

but alas pelias is a Shit Company that Doesn’t Know how to Manage Talent or the Promotion and Marketing of Idols… and kunkun realised it early (end 2016, after new world was released) and got himself out of there before his career went down the drain. no official post was ever released by pelias, understandably, and i doubt kunkun would ever want to talk about it publicly, but it’s been more or less accepted as such based on how the other swin members have described their years in pelias (no promotions, few comebacks opportunities, being pushed into acting etc). 

but after he left pelias, kunkun made it to beijing where he stayed alone, learnt how to play the guitar alone, learnt producing alone, picked up music alone, without any source of financial income for an entire year until he got picked up for idol producer. 

swin-s used to be six: cai xukun, wu muti, he yifan, yu gengyin, zhao pinlin and liu ye. there was also another sub-unit of swin called swin-e, which basically were all the ‘entertainers’ (actors lmao): zuo qibo, zhu yunlong, gouchen haoyu and tian shuchen. typing all their names out make my heart hurt?? five of them left (muti, fanfan, kunkun, gengyin, huadi) but five of them are still in swin (pinlin, liu ye, zuozuo, yunlong, gouhao)!! 

wu muti: the youngest (990707), 1/3 of didi line, sweetest baby angel, the first one to make friends with everyone on super idol, fluent in korean, spoiled the most by his geges along with kunkun. he went on to participate in under nineteen after he left swin, and he’d probably have gotten into the final group too if they didn’t make him leave the show because of visa issues. 

he yifan: second youngest (980822), 1/3 of didi line, cheeky lil bitch, sunshine meme boy, would bicker with kunkun over anything. he went on to participate in all for one after he left swin and turned into a yeehaw boy but because youku is a shady bitch and kept changing rules left and right, pulled out of the show halfway. he was really good though and all the swin boys said he rly grew up so much!! he’s now in ONEGROUP with zhao fangzhou (also on super idol)! 

yu gengyin: leader of swin-s (960428), responsible half of main vocal line, soft warm boy, knows every single jj lin song by heart, used to livestream regularly, quite possibly the love of my life. he’s swin’s Biggest Fan and if any past or present member goes on a survival show gengyin’s the first to post support and cheer them on ;n; he was also a mentor on another show《青春最强音》. he released the cutest song 《特别的安排》recently, and just wrapped up filming for a movie!! i translate for him sometimes here.

tian shuchen: ¼ of swin-e (941026), pretends to be fierce but is a puppy, has a dog called zongzi (rice dumpling). unlike the rest of them who left swin because pelias crap that doesn’t deserve them, huadi revealed that he left swin because of zhao pinlin. he also went on all for one after he left swin and debuted in one of their two final groups, BlackACE. his group, BlackACE, has released two songs, fission and because of you. check out more subbed content here! 

as ot9, they made two more comebacks - ep1 on 170717 (《告别少年》mv here, 《发光的星体》mv here and the cutest song 《和你去海边》dance practice here) and ep2 on 180109 (《BFGF》christmas version here and 《不解释》mv here). they also had a group variety show but they had to stop it after three episodes.  

as ot5, we got 《25Hours》on 180928 and 《动听醋语》on 181013!

zhao pinlin: still in swin! 1/3 of swin-s’ gege line (940629) but the youngest in ot5 swin, brat half of swin-s’ main vocal line, grouches a lot but would kill for his boys (especially ex-roommate gengyin). he also went on all for one as part of the three members of swin they sent on and all his performances were amazing!!! he ended up debuting in one of the two final groups of all for one as first place (!!!!!!). his group, BlackACE, has released two songs, fission and because of you. check out more subbed content here! 

he was also the one who went to look for kunkun in beijing after kunkun left swin, and was the first one kunkun called when he got the centre position in idol producer ;;;;; he didn’t tell kun that he was participating in all for one because he didn’t want to bother him, but pinlin ended up debuting in first place too ;;;;;;;;;; 

liu ye: still in swin! 1/3 of swin-s’ gege line (931115), dance prodigy, hid his age for three whole years until he got exposed as a 93 liner on produce camp, the softest shyest angel, used to be kunkun’s roommate, easily teased but would die with any of his friends. he’s gone on street dance of china and produce camp! he ended up debuting in r1se, produce camp’s final group, in 8th place (!!!!) despite tencent’s reluctance to give him any screen time at all. although he’s still in swin, he’s no longer under pelias - that piece of shit company sold his contract to 1cm some time in the middle of produce cam. i translate for him sometimes here! 

gouchen haoyu: still in swin! 940427, the sweetest swin boy, constantly showering love and affection, purest cat boy - he has a tattoo of a cat on his left shoulder and his cats are called dough stick (youtiao) and soymilk (doujiang) and he posts videos with them all the time sobs!! he also hangs out with / cat sits for xia zhiguang (x-nine, r1se)!! he also went on all for one as part of the three members of swin they sent on. he ended up debuting in one of the two final groups of all for one, called New Storm!! 

zhu yunlong: still in swin! old man (920413), singaporean, girl group dance lover, looks sweet but would probably kill you in your sleep. he also went on all for one as part of the three members of swin they sent on but got SNAKED by youku!!! he’s currently filming something with gouhao. 

zuo qibo: still in swin! another old man (920119), actor and the member with the most solo songs, including 《世界将我包围》(the world surrounds me),《这是爱》(this is love, an ost for a show he acted in) and 《I Won’t Cry》! he also went on the next top bang but also got snaked by dragon tv. honestly, he’s probably the most consistently employed in swin. 

as for how to keep up with them, i follow the boys, their work studios and their fanclubs on weibo! also the SWIN and 星动一班 chaohuas are great for constant emo swin hours (not that it’s never emo swin hours in this household).

anyway i hope this helps!!!!! ;u; 

#swin #i was about to tag this with emo swin hours: open but #emo swin hours are always open #vivi answers stuff #i was reading this essay by a swin ot10 stan recently #and i POURED #swin ot10 was perfect but pelias was Shit and didn't know what to do with them #everyone i talk to about swin also agree that like ?? #they were all so talented they all shine so bright individually too #if they debuted today ot10 would have been a monster group #but alas #one of the swin stans i follow on weibo said something like #swin together is a ball of fire #but swin separated is a sky full of stars #and i CRIED #anyway i really recommend that essay #the link is https://t.co/BDqopFH39A

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG130 /o/

- Fun game!

(MAG106) BASIRA: Hm. I dunno, I mean, you should have seen him when I turned up last year. I think he thought I was trying to steal his precious Archivist. […] Huff. That [INSERT TITLE HERE] needs to relax. MELANIE: Or at least find someone else to fuss over. BASIRA: Yeah, [x]’s got it bad. … Do you know if [x] and Jon ever…? MELANIE: No clue – and not interested.

Is this conversation between Melanie and Basira about: a) The Distortion about Jon? b) Elias about Jon? c) Martin about Jon? d) The Web about Jon? (Jon, you serial heartbreaker.)

In all seriousness (kind of.): the Web has it BAD about Jon, indeed. Which is necessarily not a good sign given that if someone from the Web were to tell you it wants you to carry its babies, you would have to understand that it means hollowing you out and turning you into a spider egg sack.

The Web sent him a lovely lighter in MAG035, that Jon still had on him as of MAG111, because Jon ~chose~ to go back to smoking after five years of quitting! Jon discovered the worms infestation back in MAG038 thanks to a lil’spider on a wall (BECAUSE OF COURSE: JONATHAN “I PERSONALLY READ MAG016’S STATEMENT ABOUT A GUY MINDCONTROLLED TO REPEATEDLY SMASH A SPIDER ON A WALL” SIMS ASSUMED THAT HIS OWN ACTIONS WERE HIS OWN AND TOTALLY NOT CONTROLLED UH.) Lovely helpful spiders eat the worms carcasses in the tunnels! Cobwebs were welcoming him into the wax museum when they were planting bombs in MAG118! “She” sent Handsome Black MLM Oliver to encourage him to wake up in MAG121! And now the spiders are leaving tapes for him in his desk when Jon is having trouble thinking about his next moves! uwu

… Meanwhile, what have you done for Jon, Beholding. You fucked up a perfectly functioning researcher, gave him anxiety, nightmares and the constant feeling of being watched, is what you did. (… Well, the Web also gave Jon trauma, misguided hatred, and a visceral phobia of spiders but HEY, at least, it’s giving Jon useful presents in his Quest!)

Oliver had confirmed that the Web had never really left Jon alone after all these years (MAG121: “But… you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what She asked!” and the mere fact that Oliver came… because “She” had sent him to talk to Jon), we still don’t know its/Her intentions and neither does Jon:

(MAG131) ARCHIVIST: I found this tape tucked in the corner of my desk drawer. [AGGRAVATED SIGH] Covered in cobwebs. I suppose subtlety is gone out the window a bit. And the question is now simply … how much I trust the Spider to have my… best interests at heart. … Hm. I suspect my assuming it has a heart might be a clue I’m looking at this the wrong way.

(Obviously, the answer is that it wants to win YOUR HEART, Jon!!)

The Web has Plans Involving Jon, nothing new. And I have no serious ideas about why – seriously trying to woo him because Back Off Big Eyeball, We Saw Him First? Needing him to be ready for the Watcher’s Crown in some way either because it’s allied with Beholding, either because it needs the ritual to come close to completion in order to crash or hijack it? What was Jon supposed to make out of MAG130’s statement, and he did he completely miss the point or did he draw his own conclusions All According To Keikaku? … are they Jon’s own conclusions or The Web making him think about the conclusions It wanted.

I’m also wondering if, after all, Jon getting drawn to this and that statement since the beginning of season 4 wasn’t… Web-induced more that Beholding-induced. Actually, Jon has never explicitly said that knowing which statements to read, specifically, was coming from his Insights (the knowledge seeping through the cracks of the door):

(MAG126) ARCHIVIST: … I remembered Gertrude’s notebook […]. I’ve been staring at it for hours, in the hope something from it would just… come to me. And it worked well enough to point me towards this statement […].

(MAG127) BASIRA: And what was that you were doing yesterday? ARCHIVIST: … When…? BASIRA: You were sat on the floor for like four hours. ARCHIVIST: … Oh! Er, n–n–no, I was, er, I was… listening. Y’know, it’s, trying to see if any of the statements… called to me. BASIRA: And? ARCHIVIST: [FLIPS PAPER] BASIRA: Brilliant.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere. Why I just know some statements are what I should be reading. I assume this one is related to the coffin. To Daisy.

Is it knowledge seeping into his mind, or is it, let’s say, a web string pulling him in towards specific statements? Jon’s comment that “subtlety is gone out of the window” couuuuld possibly (it’s a possibility!) imply that he knows that the Web had been directing him towards them before (just… without wrapping them in cobwebs). Case in point, though: Jon got to Know about how Gertrude stopped The Buried through his Insights, and that one was pretty clearly Beholding-stamped. So, at the very least, it’s not only the Web teaching Jon about how Gertrude stopped the previous rituals. Somehow, both The Eye and The Web are glad to feed him the knowledge.

In the particular case of MAG130: this means that the Web has quite a strong hold on the Archives themselves – or did it send the tape randomly, à la Elias in season 3? (Your casual reminder that the conclusion of Jon’s thrilling saga of wondering for 20 episodes why Elias was sending him this or that file was: because Elias had no idea what the fuck he was doing.) And: where does this tape come from? We know there are more tapes than the ones Jon had listened to: Basira had been given three boxes of them when they discovered Gertrude’s body, and she gave him a few tapes and at least one of these boxes when she quit the police in MAG075. Leitner had told Jon, and then confirmed with Elias (MAG080), that Elias had gotten his hands of Gertrude’s files regarding The Stranger (and posssssibly about Beholding?) and Elias had indeed begun to send some of those documents in season 3 but explicitly refused to give them to Jon in one-go (MAG092), so drip-dropped them instead. Elias mentioned in MAG116 that he had taken Gertrude’s tapes into his “safekeeping” during Jon’s absence at the beginning of season 3, so he was still in possession of all of them at the end of the season.

Is MAG130 from Elias’s secret stash? Or from somewhere else, another hiding spot? In any case, it means that, in true spiders fashion, the Web can crawl its way into anywhere, unnoticed. It is there and it’s able to operate in the Institute. It knows the place as its own. (Is it also its own already…)

- Jon had wondered, a few times, why Gertrude was recording some statements and not others and… we still don’t have the answer to that?

(MAG044) ARCHIVIST: I will admit to some disappointment it doesn’t address any of my more… pressing questions about Gertrude’s tapes. Why did she begin recording them, and why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would have likely gotten through much of the Archive […].

(MAG087) ARCHIVIST: I had assumed Gertrude had recorded to tape for a while and then stopped, but it sees she was recording them right up until the end. But if they did span decades of working at the Institute, why aren’t there more? And what decided which statements she transferred?

It’s a bit hard to guess a logic behind Gertrude’s recordings, but so far, we’ve listened to these ones, listed by order or recording (SINCE UNLIKE A CERTAIN SOMEONE, GERTRUDE ROBINSON HAD ENOUGH WORK ETHICS TO GIVE THE DATE OF HERS :wwww I’m not calling anyone out) (Jon, u suck.):

*04/11/1996: reading Lucy Cooper’s statement about the “Changeling / Imposter”, Not!Them (MAG077) *15/04/1997: reading Yuri Utkin’s statement about the Russian circus (MAG044) *05/09/1997: live statement of Walter Heller about the old Archives in Alexandria (MAG053) *02/09/2007: reading Robert E. Geiger’s statement about The Buried’s ritual coming close in America (MAG099) *03/07/2008: live statement of Mary Keay about getting her hands on the book of The End (MAG062) *19/12/2008: live statement of Lucia Wright about the Flesh’s ritual attempt in Istanbul (MAG130) *04/10/2013: reading Abraham Janssen’s statement about the last Stranger ceremony, in the Court Theatre Buda in October 1787 (MAG116) *04/04/2015: reading Sebastian Skinner’s statement about The Stranger’s people in the Gwydir Forest (MAG087)

Noteworthy: the oldest one that Jon accessed was about the Not!Them, and Gertrude had specifically highlighted (thanks to the statement-giver providing a recording of her true mother) that tapes were able to resist the Not!Them’s rewriting of reality:

(MAG077) GERTRUDE: It is at least reassuring to know that magnetic tape seems to escape being overwritten [by the Not!Them], so if I get changed, you can be sure this is my real voice. Based on Dekker’s statement, it would seem Polaroids are also relatively stable.

I could imagine that Gertrude might have recorded a few tapes with this in mind – in case the Not!Them would attack her, to leave some proofs of her existence and of her ongoing researches, since, following this one, almost all the statements that Jon listened to were tied to some aspects of rituals she was working on stopping. MAG044 dealt with a very active period of the Stranger’s Circus; MAG099 helped her narrow down the location of the Buried’s “Sunken Sky” (in America); MAG116 was a survivor describing the last Stranger’s ritual attempt; MAG087 was about the current activities of Stranger’s minions, now that the ritual was coming closer. The three other statements were lives: Mary Keay is an oddity, but Gertrude had sarcastically commented that it happened because Mary insisted on talking:

(MAG062) MARY: You… don’t really go out and look for yourself, do you~? Just wait here for the researchers’ leftovers. GERTRUDE: Mm! It’s not that bad. Sometimes, someone will insist on giving me a statement directly, though… I rarely see the point.

(YOUR CASUAL REMINDER THAT GERTRUDE WAS SAVAGE LIKE THAT.)

The other two dealt with what Gertrude suspected to be an old Archive (MAG053), and a witness testimony of the explosion that put a stop to The Flesh’s ritual (MAG130), so… still related to Gertrude’s activities: she had been searching for Walter specifically (MAG053: “It’s taken a long time to track down someone still living who found the Serapeum of Alexandria.”; the site was ~curiously~ bombed six months after she discussed its location, in March 1998) and she was in Istanbul ~in the flesh~ during “The Last Feast” (the old woman that Lucia spotted but didn’t recognize). Moreover, there are a few mentions alluding to the fact that she already had talked a bit with the statement-givers (and narrowed down what they experienced) before deciding to record their statement:

(MAG053) WALTER: Yeah, er, right. Er, wh–where do you want me to start? GERTRUDE: Well, you say you were serving in North Africa when it happened.

(MAG130) [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: Do you mind? LUCIA: What? Oh, hum. No. GERTRUDE: Excellent.

Whether live or written, was Gertrude almost only recording statements dealing with the rituals attempts? But then, it seems like there were three big periods of recording: 1996-1997, 2007-2008 and the last years of her carreer. We’re still back to Jon’s initial questions: why the gaps? Is it because tapes exist from the years in-between, but we only got a few samples that aren’t enough to discern anything conclusive…?

- But then, back to the usual question: what was the thing that made her decide to record Walter and Lucia live, when they could have… written it down or dictated it to another member of staff? (We know it was a thing that could be done in the 70s, with Nathaniel Thorp’s statement from MAG029.) (I doubt it’s Relevant but: fun thing! “Lucia Wright” shares her surname with the previous head of the Institute, “James Wright”, who ran the place from 1973 to 1996. Elias took over when he passed away.)

- Well, in Lucia’s case, it sounds like Gertrude’s initial intentions might have been a bit grim?!

(MAG130) LUCIA: Telling my story. To you. Will, will it help with the nightmares? GERTRUDE: […] whatever nightmares your experience has left you with, I’m sure they won’t be bothering you much longer. […] GERTRUDE: Well…! That – is – a relief. When I heard there’d been survivors of “The Last Feast”, I was rather concerned that one of them might be able to positively identify me, [CHUCKLE] which could land me in all sorts of trouble! But she doesn’t seem to remember me at all.

What were you initially planning to do if she had remembered you, Gertrude.

Because, uuuuh… we know from Basira&Daisy’s exchange in MAG112 that they kept having “dreams” long after giving their statements to Jon; telling their stories didn’t allow them to get rid of the nightmares (it’s just that apparently, becoming an archival assistant cuts you off from them, and from Jon seeing them?). So, hum. Could Gertrude have been planning anything else than… straight-out murdering Lucia then and there, and only changed her mind when Lucia mentioned an old woman without linking her to Gertrude?

That aside… we got confirmation from Gertrude herself that she was aware that live statement-givers also give their dreams to the Archivist – the “slim collection of gifted nightmares” described by Elias in MAG120:

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: […] I’m honestly impressed she had the strength to get through it, even if she does seem to have been… deeply affected by it. Shame about the dreams; I would avoid them if I could.

… Why couldn’t she in this case, though? Why did she have to take this one live, when we know that she tended to prioritize written ones (going as far as to ask François Deschamps to write down what he had witnessed alongside her in MAG102)?

There has been quite a huge amount of statement-givers mentioning their recurring nightmares when writing their statements; the specific of the Archivist receiving a live statement seems to be that it synchronizes their dreams a bit? Makes Jon able to see them? Or traps the people in his own nightmares of their experiences? (In Jon’s dreams, at least, the statement-givers blame him and feel like they’re here because of him.) Regarding Gertrude, there had been Adelard’s and Mikaele Salesa’s expectation that just writing their statements could have an effect too:

(MAG113, Adelard Dekker) I’ll even make it a statement. Give your patron something to keep it satisfied. It’s not like I sleep enough to worry about dreams.

(MAG115, Mikaele Salesa) So it’s another statement is it? Like I owe you something?  […] So I suppose if it’s a statement you’re wanting… it’s no inconvenience to me. I don’t sleep well anyway.

Does this mean they might have given live statements to Gertrude in the past, and assumed that writing it down would have the same effect? Does writing a statement end up having an effect on you, even though the Archivist doesn’t access those dreams? I wonder, now, if the dreams are not actually supposed to happen to… everyone touched or coming close to the Fears, and it's just that some people don’t think to mention their dreams in their statements? Adelard got interested in the case he described in MAG113 and was reminded of his hypothetical new emergence partially because people had been hurt when asleep – could it be that new emerging fears tend to first manifest through dreams…?

- Gertrude, are u lying through your teeth again.

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: Are you quite ready? LUCIA: H… uh. Will it help? GERTRUDE: I’m sorry? LUCIA: Telling my story. To you. Will, will it help with the nightmares? GERTRUDE: If that’s your primary goal, my dear, I would suggest you speak to a qualified counsellor. We can suggest one, if you like; that said, I do believe most people find the process of giving a statement to be rather… mm, cathartic.

I’m squinting at that “cathartic” (if it’s about the actual concept: WOOPSIE, catharsis in Greek drama does rely on you EXPERIENCING the terror and pity. It is not a nice process on the moment.)

Meanwhile, in Jon’s case, giving him a live statement has rarely been described as a nice experience for visitors, mostly because of Jon himself:

(MAG084) MELANIE: […] There’s nowhere left for me to go. I don’t know why, but… I just, I just felt that perhaps coming here might help. And talking things out with Jon. I mean. I mean he’s awful, but at least he listens, you know?

The only “positive” ones about it that I can think of are Helen, Tessa and Mike, and Oliver a bit (he was surprised to have managed it); and Julia, back with Gertrude, had felt that it helped:

(MAG047) ARCHIVIST: Perhaps. … Leave it with us, we’ll… do some digging and… see what we can find. HELEN: You believe me then! ARCHIVIST: I, er… yes. Yes, I think I do. (MAG101) ARCHIVIST: A– are you still going to kill me? HELEN: No. That was Michael’s desire, not mine. ARCHIVIST: So… S-So what do you want? HELEN: I don’t know. Helen liked you so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave. (MAG115) HELEN: Before, talking to you made Helen feel better. ARCHIVIST: You’re not. that. Helen! HELEN: I just want…! I just want to feel better.

(MAG065) TESSA: […] And it does feel good to talk about it. Y’know? ARCHIVIST: [LIGHT CHUCKLE] Yes, I… very much understand.

(MAG091) MIKE: Hm. You know? That was… that was nice. I’m not… not usually the sort for speeches, that was… pleasant change. So.

(MAG107) ARCHIVIST: Ah, yes. You–you know the Institute? JULIA: Oh yeah. Checked myself in there a while back. Ended up spilling my guts to this old woman about my dad, just letting it all out. ARCHIVIST: O–oh, that, that would be, er, Gertrude. My, my predecessor. JULIA: I didn’t catch her name. Weirdest thing, really. Didn’t mean to spill half of it, but. Really helped me put the pieces together, you know? ARCHIVIST: I’m… starting to.

(MAG121) OLIVER: Right. That’s a… hit, I suppose.

(But Oliver is cheating since Jon was still unresponsive when Oliver gave his statement – Oliver got Jon at His Best, uh.)

Then, I don’t have any doubt that Gertrude was probably better at sweetly coaxing people into telling their stories, rather than showing off in Jon’s apparent blunt manner (he does care!! But he’s also very off-putting, which… didn’t help when he was receiving statements.)

In the meantime: still nothing from Jon about his own dreams :www

- So Adelard also helped Gertrude in destroying the Gnostic temple!

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: Well…! That – is – a relief. When I heard there’d been survivors of “The Last Feast”, I was rather concerned that one of them might be able to positively identify me, [CHUCKLE] which could land me in all sorts of trouble! But she doesn’t seem to remember me at all. […] Dekker really came through with the explosives! It almost felt like cheating. Sad about the loss of history but Miss Wright didn’t seem to think the old Gnostic church got many visitors anyway.

Gertrude sounded so giddy to have blown the place up, efdusijrezkds. Did she provide the explosives and he handled them? He was super interested in the stock she had managed to get for The Unknowing, in his letter from MAG113. They’re adorable. Old people saving the world and bonding over their creative use of explosives.

Interestingly, it seems that Gertrude kept her allies separate? Gerry and Leitner didn’t seem to know that Gertrude was working with the other (which… makes sense considering Gerry’s distaste of Leitner because of the books); but neither did they ever mention Adelard.

Which puts me to mind again: what happened to Adelard? We know that he came in contact with the Institute at least in 1991 (MAG077, Gertrude: “I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the ‘NotThem’ in statement 9910607”), whether he was personally acquainted with Gertrude or not at the time. Since then, they’ve apparently been allies on multiple cases: they collaborated to blow up the Gnostic temple housing the Flesh’s ritual (MAG130), and Adelard moved out the plastic explosives for Gertrude because she felt that she was under surveillance (MAG113). That was chronologically the last time we’ve heard of him at this point – from a statement that, according to Jon, was “undated, likely circa 2012”. Did he die, since then…? Became something worse than dead…? Is he hiding somewhere…? Peter Lukas has been looking for his statements to get information but didn’t mention the possibility of tracking him down: it could be either for manipulation purposes (better to not let the Archives team meet Adelard, who specialises in dealing with spooky creatures, when you’re yourself a spooky creature), either because he knows that Adelard is not around anymore…? (Then, my bets for the culprit are the New Emergence he was investigating, or someone amongst the Lukases, or Peter PERSONALLY.) (Could be Elias, I guess, since Adelard must have been a bit old at this point, but we would need to know what his voice was, since Elias’s criteria for murdering people so far have been 1°) you must be old, 2°) you must be voiced by someone from Jonny’s family.)

- Something that I found quite interesting in the statement itself is that Lucia had, from an overall point of view, no relationship whatsoever with meat – no attraction to it, nothing from her personal history that would imply that she could get drawn or involved with the Flesh. But, at the same time, the evolution from her being fascinated by religion to the Flesh felt only natural because of the Eucharistic dimension, and by the fact that her own appreciation of churches was both spiritual and sensual?

(MAG130) LUCIA: […] I loved churches. These big… quiet… echoing spaces of peace and beauty, designed to quiet the soul and prepare it for communion with the divine. Even if I didn’t actually believe in the God they were supposed to house… I always found them… meditative. And whenever I went on one of my breaks, I’d always try to find a local church – hopefully… not too full of other tourists like me – and spend an hour or two in quiet contemplation. I’d listen to the shuffling footsteps of the other people, and breathe in the lingering smell of incense, before lighting a candle to my grandmother.

With the Demiurge in mind, it’s almost surprising that The Flesh is (officially) the last Fear to have emerged (Gerry had mentioned that it had begun its ascendance around the time Robert Smirke had established his list of fourteen); but at the same time, you would have to fear the specific aspect of it as related to Flesh bending, twisting, getting reduced to a pulp, etc.? In True Flesh Fashion, Lucia ended up getting very conscious of that aspect during the whole ordeal (THANKS FOR MY WEDNESDAY’S DINNER, JONNY):

(MAG030, David Laylow) “There’s not so much difference between people and animals, you know? […] Weirdest thing is, you start to kind of see people as meat too. Not in a food sort of way, you know. I don’t wanna eat my co-workers. It’s just that, when you spend all day taking these living, breathing creatures – animals that move and cry and tremble in fear – and you turn them into lifeless blocks of dead flesh, it’s hard to believe in any special spark that makes us humans any different.”

(MAG072, Craig Goodall) “There’s nothing inherently special about us. We feel as much pain, see the world with the same eyes as a real pig. Meat is meat. That’s what John Haan said when they arrested him. The only thing he said. Meat is meat. […] It looked like this was what the kid had been doing. He’d been spraying the phrase ‘MEAT IS MEAT’ onto the door of the freezer, but the cops must have gotten him before he’s finished, so what was actually written upon the matt silver surface were the words ‘MEAT IS ME’.”

(MAG130) LUCIA: […] Squirming limbs were dragging, rising, extracting themselves from this mound of flesh, and making their way down to join their companions on the ground, one by one. Most of them could still be mistaken for humans at a distance, a few even wore clothes. […] All through this, the mouth got closer and closer to the edge of the pit, the pile of flesh within it larger and larger, sat there in an awful, half-solid slurry, chewed and crushed together. It was impossible to tell what had once been animal, and what might once have been us. It was all just meat.

-Curiously, Lucia didn’t mention any anchor in her statement? Orrr was it, in her case, an anchoring thought?

(MAG130) LUCIA: My back was screaming, my legs were weak, and my mind was numb from terror. But I was spurred on by one thing: the woman with the backwards arms had fallen, some time in the night, and her companions had shown no hesitation. They had gripped her shoulders, hoisted her up, and hurled her straight into the gaping maul. I swore it wouldn’t happen to me.

Could it be the focus that matters, more than thinking about something/someone from outside of the box? Focusing on something, whatever it is, and preventing the Fears from getting to you and swallowing you whole? It’s also how Basira had managed to exit The Unknowing on her own… So in the same way: would going into the coffin with the clear resolution of finding Daisy and getting back out with her be enough…?

- We’re slowly completing the list of failed rituals from the current batch!!

*The Buried: “Sunken Sky”, 17th June, 2008. (<- Vast-touched Jan Kilbride was thrown in pieces into the pit.)

*The Flesh: “The Last Feast”, October 2008 (since it was (until now.) the new Baby, this was probably only its first or second ritual attempt? Awww ;w; (Don’t worry, you’ll get used to seeing your ritual derailed.) (WE HOPE.) <- also with this one that Gertrude apparently confirmed that she could deal with the rituals with non-spooky means (maybe… Jan Kilbride… would have liked to know that a few months earlier…))

*The Spiral: “The Great Twisting”, somewhere during October 2009 or shortly after. (<- No explosives for this one, Michael Shelley gave an Identity to the Distortion instead.)

*The Stranger: “The Unknowing”: 6th August 2017. (<- TIM WAS THE BOMB…)

*The Eye: “The Watcher’s Crown”, incoming and Jon Has Suspicions about the year 2018. (<- Gertrude had a Plan for this, MAG080 seems to hint at “Fire.”)

Unclear: The Dark (15th May 2015? 10th February 2017? It Was Coming Soon according to Nathalie Ennis), The Desolation (before April 2015).

No indication (yet?): The Lonely (I’m very subjectively suspecting that this one might not have a ritual, since “almost” all of the Fears have one according to Gerry, and that that’s why the Lukases are collaborating with various other Entities’ clusters by throwing money at them), The End (I’m also thinking that this one could turn out to not actually have a ritual?), The Vast (are they planning to yeet Earth into Space), The Hunt (Gertrude was not convinced but mentioned that it could happen in America), The Slaughter (… we got a few statements showing that when a Slaughter event happens, it goes HARD anyway, so I fear (ha) what its ritual attempt would look like – maybe during a recent war or civilian repression?), The Corruption (though might have tried something in the tunnels below the Institute during The Hive’s invasion, given the ring of worms? Though it would sound a bit low-scale, since only Jane Prentiss was there…), The Web (Though There Is The Matter Of What The Heck Is The Deal With The House On Hill Top Road).

- Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiight, so:

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: […] Tom Haan might be a bit more of a problem, as it looks like he also survived, but I’m hopeful he has been weakened enough by this failure to not be an issue in the near future. Hopefully, he’ll fade away or burn out, as they tend to when robbed of their purpose. Still… I should keep a watch on him in case of any erratic behaviour that might lead to complications. Also worth watching out for any additional esoteric fall-out from the ritual attempt, like that Carlisle boy down in Wandsworth.

a) If I remember, Craig Goodall (the statement-giver from MAG072) had never explicitly mentioned that the Chinese-looking man that had attacked him was “John Haan” (the original owner of the takeaway restaurant, who had been arrested years before the events) – the fire was reported on 27th September 2009, almost a year after the Flesh’s ritual attempt, and the avatar talked about the relation between meat and religion… so indeed, it was probably Tom Haan there, too (I had been a bit confused, back then, unsure if it was John or Tom)?

b) Alright, and MAG030’s events happened in July 2013, we don't know of Tom Haan having been spotted since then, and what was described really sounded like… he put an end to Things then. So same as Breekon, maybe: he faded/self-destructed?

c) Toby Carlisle from MAG018 (“The Man Upstairs”) confirmed as Flesh! Though apparently, he didn’t participated to the ritual, dying in October 2007, although he was affected by its imminence.

I’m late to the party, only realizing now that the “Mrs. Carlisle” whose husband’s corpse wanted her to cannibalize him in 1845 (MAG058) shared her surname with “Toby Carlisle” – both about (MEAAAT) Flesh. Which means that Mrs. Carlisle probably gave in and ate her husband after her statement in order to survive, after all? And that one of her descendants was also Flesh-related? And we already knew about the fact that two people from the Haan family had a special relationship with meat?

We have the Carlisles, the Haans, the von Closens/Keays, the Lukases… Maybe Gerry had been a bit wrong in saying that the Fears don’t care at all about blood? Or are they, like the Fairchilds, adoptive families and the Lukases are still an exception?

- ;; Insisting on this: according to Gertrude, (avatars? monsters?) tend to “burn out when robbed of their purpose”, which indeed seems to have happened to Tom Haan four years and a half after his failed ritual. That…………………… is a short life expectancy if you fail indeed…………….. So even assuming that Jon is still alive (well, “not dead”) when a Watcher’s Crown attempt will be made, and even if he doesn’t die during it, and even if it is stopped in time… it means that Jon would be done for anyway.

Counter-points though: *Jared Hopworth began experimenting with The Boneturner’s Tale starting in 1996 and we know that he was still active and very chill About His Life in 2012 (MAG090). Though… did he even participate in that “Last Feast”, or did he just ignore it to keep doing his own thing?

*Jude Perry didn’t look especially erratic when we met her in 2017 in MAG089, although Gertrude had mentioned that The Lightless Flame’s plans had been stopped shortly before she recorded MAG087’s statement in April 2015 (“their own plans have so recently, erm, gone up in flames.”) So… we’ll… “see”…

- Once again, I really have no idea what state Daisy will be in, assuming that Jon does even manage to get her out of the coffin and that she’s still breathing (even if, hum, not human-shaped or human-minded)……………. But listen. Listen. We had an example of Jon managing to ground someone through compulsion: he did that to Tim during The Unknowing, and it worked! Forcing people to admit the truth manages to get their awareness back!

(MAG118) ARCHIVIST: Tim!! [STATIC:] What do you see? TIM: I see my asshole boss! W– wait… wait… […] ARCHIVIST: Tim! [STATIC:] What’s in your hand? TIM: It’s… I don’t… the– the– … the detonator…

My shipper heart really really hopes that Jon might compulse Daisy into remembering Basira, asking her ~who is it who matters to her~, since Basira was, almost literally, presented as Daisy’s anchor (MAG092, Elias: “the only person you care about […].Your last connection to humanity.”)

Problems: as of MAG122, Jon didn’t remember anything of the Unknowing past Gertrude’s entrance, which means… not remembering Tim’s last moments. And: Jon still had trouble pinning down the relationship between Basira and Daisy in MAG117 (“I–I– I don't quite get those two, I suppose. What they’ve done, seeing what they’ve seen… It’s a hell of a bond. The sort of thing I’ve mostly done alone.”), so… I’m not sure he would think of this option. Jon often has troubles with people’s relationships ;;

SO IT MAKES IT EVEN MORE VALUABLE THAT HE’S GOING TO TRY, ANYWAY, TO SAVE DAISY FROM THE COFFIN……………… Daisy who tried to kill him, who threatened him a few times afterwards, but whom he seemed to kinda like in his own awkward way? Jon really doesn’t want to lose anyone anymore, uh. (;; They’ve not been mentioned recently, but you can still feel the ghosts of Sasha and Tim lingering around.)

- YEAAAAH so Jon is getting ready to get injured again, and he does it in the most self-deprecating, heartbreaking way:

(MAG130) ARCHIVIST: […] What was it she said, “the siren call of Flesh”… Hm. It’s possible, I suppose. It would… hurt, but… Well. What’s another scar? … It’s been two weeks since I heard from Basira. I’m not waiting any longer. I’m getting Daisy back. End recording.

JON ;;;;;

a) If it is indeed a Flesh-related scar (will he get his hands on something from Artefact storage? or would it be “Flesh”-compatible by the simple fact of purposely injuring oneself?): Jon… is making progress on completing the set of Entity-related wounds. And we know he’s aware that it’s been a lot of injuries (MAG127: “Just another scar for the collection!”), but did he notice that he’s been covering all the Fears? We still don’t know for sure if the diversity is relevant, but it’s been a noticeable pattern (for listeners), and it sounds really suspicious… especially when keeping in mind how Elias had described the Archivist’s role (MAG092: “It is your job to chronicle these things, to experience them, whether first-hand or through the eyes of others. To simply be told, well…”).

Jon was touched by the Web when he was a child (MAG081: “The first of the dark powers to touch me, perhaps, but it did not claim me.”); he’s Beholding’s Archivist. As for the Corruption, he got almost eaten alive by Jane Prentiss’s worms (MAG039); “Michael” from the Spiral stabbed him when he tried to retrieve Helen (MAG047); Jude Perry from the Desolation burned his hand through a handshake (MAG089); Mike Crew made him experience the Vast and probably fucked up his lungs a bit (MAG091); Daisy strangled him and/or cut his neck (MAG091); the Not!Them toyed with his memories of Sasha (starting MAG040), Nikola punched(?) him (MAG097) and held him captive for a month (MAG101), and Jon ultimately experienced the Stranger’s Unknowing himself, getting temporarily lost in the madness (MAG118+MAG119); the End couldn’t totally get his grasp on him while Jon was in his coma but Jon was then “balanced on an edge” (MAG121); Melanie stabbed him in the shoulder with a scalpel while she was infected by the Slaughter (MAG125); since Peter Lukas has been running the Institute, Jon has mentioned multiple times that he was feeling alone/lonely, which… could be a Lonely-induced state of mind (MAG125, MAG129), with everyone drifting away because of its effects.

Jon is still missing the Buried, the Flesh and the Dark. If Jon is getting his scars from the Buried AND the Flesh in one go, he will only be missing the Dark’s (and potentially the unidentified ~New Emergence~), which is already lurking around the Institute.

It’s going FAST.

b) Jon has been holding back, so well and on multiple accounts é_è He stuck with it and didn’t try to come in contact with Melanie! If he didn’t lie by omission, he has been managing to not Know about Basira’s current activities (MAG129: “I haven’t heard from Basira, since she left on whatever secret errand”)!! Well, he went to see Martin when he got the Insight that he was around in MAG129, but Martin hadn’t told him to “stop finding” him yet, so Jon didn’t break any promise. And, well, although he’s resolving to go into the coffin at the end of MAG130… he managed to not try anything since Basira left two weeks ago, and she’s been taking longer than what she had announced (MAG128: “I’ll try and be back in a week or two. Don’t think about me.”); the fact that Basira is still not coming back indeed changes the paradigms a bit. (What is she doing… Where did Elias send her to… Was Elias’s plan precisely to remove her from the Institute, to get Jon more prone to getting involved himself…)

Even statements-wise!

MAG121 (+MAG122?): February 15th 2018 MAG123: February 17th (“Two days out of a coma, and I’m already tired.”) MAG124: February 24th~ (“It’s been a week and… Melanie’s attitude towards me hasn’t softened.”) MAG125: ? MAG126: ? MAG127: ? MAG128: 3rd March (Basira leaving) MAG129: ? MAG130: 17th~ March (“It’s been two weeks since I heard from Basira”)

There was a very intense period from MAG124 to MAG128, but since Basira’s departure, it seems that Jon has gone back to the casual and safe rhythm of one statement a week. Take that, Elias and your “And I know you’ve had problems with moderation.” :www Jon has been doing good on his own!

c) It’s SAD, once again, that Jon reached the conclusion that he had to do something by himself, and that this something involved getting hurt. I don’t see any of the others taking it kindly: Melanie could be indifferent, but Basira will probably point out that Jon didn’t prove himself trustworthy (going into the coffin when she had told him not to) and Martin… would probably scream at Jon a bit for getting injured.

But at the same time, yes, what is Jon supposed to do? He lost Sasha when he was ignorant; he lost Tim when he was knowledgeable, and thought that Daisy had disappeared too. Jon is still the one who has the best chance of not dying; he’s the one with the most powers; he proved that he could neutralise Breekon when he was on the verge of attacking. Of course that, now that he’s discovered that he could possibly “undo” another death, and if the only downside would be him getting injured… he would take that chance. Especially when Gertrude casually mentioned that:

(MAG130) GERTRUDE: Also… I can’t rely on having this much lead time. I’ve had ten years tracking supplicants drawn by the siren call of Flesh, watching them gradually stockpiling meat. Very useful, in terms of preparation time for derailing the final push, but in future… I think I need to get a little bit more… proactive.

Meaning she let a few members of The Flesh run wild for ten years, for the Greater Good of “derailing” their ritual later. Meaning she probably allowed them to hurt, torture and kill innocent people all this time. Typical Gertrude and she had her priorities (saving the world, and at what cost?). Jon’s priorities are… Well. We don’t officially know them, but the assistants seem to be pretty much at the top of his list right now.

And damnit!! Jon tried to reach out to the others, to explain to them what was happening! He tried to infodump to Martin! He confessed to Martin that he missed him and was worried for him! He told Basira about his new powers and told her they were on the same side! And Martin and Basira both chose to remain solo in their own quests. But Jon tried; it has nothing to do with the way he tried to protect Tim and Martin at the end of season 2, or the way he avoided all the assistants before Nikola kidnapped him in season 3 (MAG098, Martin: “Yeah, we talked. Not long, he– Y’know, I think he thinks that the distance keeps us safe, you know? Like, like, if he just makes sure that we’re not involved, we’re somehow fine.”) He tried and just spent two weeks with the coffin for sole company, knowing that there could be a chance of rescuing Daisy and knowing that she is not having a great time inside (MAG128, Breekon: “You can stare at it, knowing how your feral friend suffers, knowing how powerless you are to help. And when you can’t bear it any longer, knowing that you can climb in and join her…”).

Jon is only finding another way now because communicating didn’t work when all he got was doors getting shut in his face. He would even have reasons to snap if someone were to reproach him for trying something alone… ;;

- Regarding MAG131, since we already have the title, I wiiiiish we could have Melanie stopping Jon dead (…) in his tracks and instead giving him a statement of The Flesh attack on the Institute, but alas :| If Jon is planning to amputate (perhaps temporarily, before sewing it back? He said “another scar”, didn’t mention a missing body part) or hurt himself (blood to attract Daisy once inside?), I don’t knoooow what he would aim for. Something grand and over the top like HIS HEART, SINCE HE MENTIONED THE WEB’S “HEART”? Something symbolically appropriate like his eyes (L I S T E N, ~THE RELATION BETWEEN EYES AND KNOWLEDGE~ HAS BEEN AN OLD ONE SINCE ŒDIPUS………………)? His head? … Honestly, I think I would be more disturbed if it turned out to be something small and… closer to a real-life injury (a finger, a bit of an ear, etc.) Another option would have been to use The Boneturner’s Tale or to ask for Jared’s, uh, “help” (stealing bones/organs directly from Jon), since Gregory Pryor had mentioned how he could still feel his own bones “twisting in someone else’s arm” after they had been stolen from him in MAG049, but we don’t know where the book is, The Flesh already tried to destroy the Archives when Jon was in a coma (they’re not allies), and Jon seemed keen on acting as fast as possible. Still, not totally excluding the possibility of Jon taking the time to go after a Flesh avatar in MAG131 (although it sounds like he’s getting ready to jump in the coffin already). Martin had even highlighted that he couldn’t be sure whether “J”’s gym was still running or not since August 2013 (MAG090: “The, um… the supplemental materials that should go with this statement, providing more details on addresses, names, and stuff, seems to be missing, so we don’t have any way of tracking down the gym, or finding out the name the business might be operating under. Not without a 2013 copy of the Aberdeen Yellow Pages. A bit of relief, in some ways.”) Orrrr I guess that Jon could also be cunning and only pretending to totally miss the point, just to make The Web freak out and come out of its hiding spot to stop him, but Jon hasn’t been hiding from his recording since the whole Sceptical Show from season 1… So I don’t know. (Why are you so intent on getting honest on tape now that you know that Fear entities are listening to you, Jon?)

Re: the coffin, by the way. I wonder how we would be “told” of what is happening down there, if Jon goes inside? Would we witness it live, through a tape recorder? Would we get the reactions from people outside (Martin, Melanie and/or Basira) while Jon still hasn’t come back, before Jon would give a quick summary? Would Jon (or Daisy) give a full statement of what happened? … Would Elias give a Statement Never Given of the whole thing? (In that case, I’d really hope that Jon’s anchor would turn out to be MARTIN INDEED IN THE END, because then, Elias would have to narrate the whole ordeal, and I’m ALL for Elias’s pain while he would grit his teeth with utter disgust, come on, you know you want it too.)

And still no idea about Jon’s anchor /o/ I said last time that I felt that MAG129 was precisely introducing the idea that it wouldn’t be Martin, since Martin told Jon to stop “finding” him… but it wouldn’t mean that Jon would stop. And it’s one of the few things that Jon actively seeks out himself – the tape recorders are the ones stalking him, for example, and sadly so was The Distortion (;; I want Helen baaaack…). We don’t know whether he tends to go back to the Web’s lighter or if it’s the lighter which stuck to him.

The call of a cigarette? The Archives themselves? The Eye’s presence? The jar containing Jane Prentiss’s ashes? Jon’s fondness for meat? (MAG115: “I suppose in some ways it’s strange I’m not a vegetarian yet, what with everything I know. But… I rather think someone in my position has to take their small pleasures where they can, and if it occasionally delights some grotesque meat-god, well... c’est la vie.”) Regrets about his life choices?

#tl dr i have no idea and i'm scared :| #the magnus archives #mag130 #tma liveblog #tma season 4 #tma spoilers

[keyorsomething]

►єυ∂ιєgσ яαит

���Hello everyone!✿

Today, I'm going to simply be ranting about my thoughts on Eudora's character, and the ship between her and Diego.

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Warning! This will contain spoilers for any episodes past number three, and will discuss some serious and rather touchy topics. Reader discretion is advised.

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►1. єυ∂σяα'ѕ ¢нιℓ∂нσσ∂ (domestic violence trigger warning.)

!!!THIS IS JUST HEADCANON. DON'T ATTACK ME FOR MY WEIRD ASS HEADCANONS!!!

Eudora spent a lot of her younger years in a violent situation. She grew up in the ghetto of the city, and took up martial arts when she was young to learn to better defend herself. Her father abused her mother often, and her grandfather was the main reason she grew up to be as functional as she's shown to be.

Most children who grow up around intimate partner violence (IPV) have a lot of issues. She was lucky enough to have a grandfather who kept the violence as far away from her as possible. When she was eight years old, her mother was nearly murdered by her father, causing her grandfather to call the police. They were helped out of the situation, and Eudora's father was sentenced to 38 years in prison. She dreads the day that might come- where he lives long enough to get out of where he belongs.

Often times, children are distrustful of their female caretakers who were victims of IPV. They don't believe that the victim will care for them, causing independence to be forced at a young age, even after escaping the abuse. I believe that Eudora likely loved her mother a lot- but never fully trusted her, even into adulthood. Ever since she was nine years old, she'd decided that she never wanted to be like her mother. She saved thousands of dollars through all of her years in middle school and high school, so that when she was 18, she could move out immediately.

Seeing the violence in her home caused Eudora to want to stop it. She wanted to be someone who could prevent people getting hurt as her mother was, and was determined to become a cop. She saved up as much money as she could, and once she graduated highschool, she enrolled in the police academy, and bought a small apartment near it.

Update as of May 20th, 2019:

So, I saw a comment that I absolutely agree with, and slightly adjusted my headcanon.

Perhaps, instead of actually experiencing abuse in her own home, she experienced it second hand. A childhood friend, or someone like that. A less violent headcanon that I've also had for a while is that maybe her father just left, around the same time that Eudora's mother and her would have left in the other headcanon.

This version of my headcanon could still leave Eudora's mother wary of men, raising her to be careful around them. If her mother had a close friend, or sister, who escaped from a domestic abuse situation, it could also work better. Leaving Eudora wary of men, but not a direct victim of the abuse. Idk- tell me what y'all think?

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►2. тнє єαяℓу уєαяѕ σf ∂ιєgσ αи∂ єυ∂σяα'ѕ яєℓαтισиѕнιρ.

Both Eudora and Diego had little experience with relationships. Eudora, from a young age, was raised to be scared of men. She didn't think she'd ever want to have an intimate relationship with a man- mostly because she was terrified of becoming like her mother.

Diego grew up as a Hargreeves. Romance was strictly forbidden. He followed the rules as strictly as he could- he wanted nothing more than to be better than Luther at the Academy. In high school, though, he had many girlfriends. Never a long term relationship, though- everything was touch and go for him.

Things changed when they met in the police academy.

Eudora helped Diego through a lot. She tried her best to understand him, and listen to him when all he needed was to know that he's not worthless. He did the same for her, building an incredibly strong bond between the two. Eudora struggled a lot when she fell in love with him.

Diego wasn't dangerous, and she knew he'd never hurt her. But her whole world fell apart when she fell for him. She found reason after reason not to tell him, but she eventually confessed, after months of agonizing over the possibilities. He confessed the same, and their relationship extended to be romantic.

They both had no clue what they were doing, but they figured it out together. They were more alike than they thought, and just grew closer.

They explored a lot together. What their boundaries were romance wise. Their desires sexually (more on this later.)

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►3. ∂ιєgσ тнє ∂яσρσυт.

Diego was kicked from the academy when they weren't far from graduating. He couldn't seem to agree to the laws, so despite being undeniably good at what could've been his job, defiance clearly isn't a trait suitable for a police officer. Eudora was advised to stay away from him after that, due to suspicions that he'd interfere with her career, but she loved him, and he loved her.

Eudora allowed him to help her with assignments. They made an unstoppable team.

Or, what seemed to be an unstoppable team.

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►4. тнє ∂σωиfαℓℓ σf єυ∂ιєgσ.

Diego was bored with bureaucracy. He felt as though he wasn't helping the way that he should. He managed to get access to the police radio, and listened for hours, trying to find any crime to go after. He had moved into Eudora's apartment at this point in time- so it wasn't like she had to do much digging to figure out what he was doing.

Three nights in a row, he disappeared, without her knowing. He'd stopped minor crimes- convienent store robberies, small burglaries, etc. Though one night was different- Diego snuck out as usual, to the scene of some hostage situation at a Circle K just down the street. He didn't like to have to kill the bad guys- but he did.

That night, a lot of gunfire rang out. Eudora got a call at 1:00 AM, telling her she needed to get to the scene. Diego wasn't home, obviously- so she put two and two together. She'd waited just a few minutes, when he got home.

They fought. For the first time in their whole relationship, they fought. She kicked him out of her apartment- she felt hurt, betrayed, and angry at him. They broke up, and despite both parties trying numerous times, they couldn't seem to make it work.

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►5. тнє мσяє... ѕєχυαℓ вιтѕ.

SEXUAL TOPIC WARNING- I'M GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT BDSM AND SHIT LIKE THAT SO-

TUA doesn't exactly hide the kinkiness of Diego and Eudora's relationship. I mean- seriously.

Diego: "It's not spandex, it's leather. And you used to like it. A lot, if I recall."

Eudora: "God, please unremember that."

Diego: "Etched into the data bank, Eudora."

It's actually fucking hilarious to me- I'd probably break up someone too, if they were running around fighting crime in a BDSM suit. It's kinda great.

This subject is probably my favorite to talk about with Eudiego, cause it's really entertaining. A lot of people say that Klaus is the kinky Hargreeves sibling but uh?? No?? It's Diego?? Clearly.

Anyway, so about who would top- Eudora. I'm sorry, but her BDE is WAYYYYY too much for me to handle. Diego is, y'know, a switch- like, with Klaus, Diego would probably top (don't attack me for my opinions I swear-), but Eudora definitely topped in their relationship.

I mean, hell, she tased Diego instantly upon seeing him- like?? Hello?? Also, she shushed him just by putting her hand up. Idk, maybe I'm crazy, but I'm just obsessed with thinking about this part of their relationship. Especially when people try to argue with me about it, cause I fight anyone who dares to act like they think more about Diego and Eudora than I do lolol.

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►6. ωну ι ℓσνє тнιѕ ραιяιиg.

M'kay, so this is gonna be kinda sad. And serious- but ya. Just be warned I guess.

So, a lot of my friends ask me why I'm so obsessed with Diego and Eudora getting together again. A lot of them write it off as because it's just a ship of mine, but, actually? It's because of the ultimate feelings it gives me.

I constantly listen to "This Year's Love" (If you're somehow unaware, that's the song that played when Diego found Eudora's body.) Every time I listen to it, I can just feel the relationship they once had (and have the potential to have again). It speaks volumes for the way that they once felt about each other- and I love it.

I have been in multiple horrific relationships. Abusive, toxic, unrequited, etc. But, that song so clearly reminds me of the love that I adore. The love that I crave feeling.

One line that I constantly hear in my mind is "When ya kiss me, on that midnight street, sweep me off my feet, singin, 'ain't this life so sweet.'" The image it puts in my mind? Stunning.

As to why I think in the show that it's actually a really good pairing- they clearly care for each other. When Diego was in front of the station, waiting for Eudora, she seemed really annoyed. But the moment he mentioned his mom dying, everything about her softened. Her expression, her demeanor, and her voice changed.

Diego said "I just don't know how to-" and clearly began struggling to speak. Before he tried to continue, she just placed her hand on his arm- she didn't need him to continue. From this, I can assume that she's helped him before- or at least, she understands his emotions and struggles to some degree.

Another thing: their whole dynamic works really well. Almost a good girl likes the bad boy kinda thing, but different in a good way. Y'know? Because in most stories like that, the girl is really submissive and such- but Eudiego absolutely defies that. And I love it.

Finally, who was the first person Eudora called? Diego. The MOMENT he found out that she called- he left Five with Luther, and went after her. He was so clearly in anguish when he found her body. Luther had to hold him back from trying to attack Five when he got back to his place.

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►7. ωну ι ℓσνє єυ∂σяα.

So, I adore that we don't get a "soft" Eudora moment. We get plenty from Diego- and sure, she softened up when talking to him about Grace, but uh- we never really see a point where she's showing too much emotion. And I really like the insight that gives into her personality.

Also- I saw this article that was rating TUA characters, and it said that Eudora was the worst character in TUA. I, obviously, disagree- while I despise what they did with her, the character herself was really good. Her personality was honestly great- she was entertaining, kind, beautiful, amazing, and god dammit, I love Eudora.

She was also clearly passionate about her job. She cared about Diego- but her job came first. She did the right thing- the moment she found out where Diego's brother was, it didn't matter that she didn't have backup. She knew something needed to be done, and she did it. And even though Hazel had a gun pointed straight at her, she made sure that she clearly didn't shoot him.

Eudora is an undeniably good person. She loves helping people- otherwise, why would she be a cop?

There was a lot of potential lost, when they killed her off. Luckily, though- season two. The Hargreeves are going back in time. I understand that we got some good Diego development through her death- but what about the development we could have gotten if she lived? She knows Diego better than anyone. I think there was an entire background there that TUA really missed out on by killing her.

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My conclusion? Eudora is way underrated. I wish there was such an endless supply of fanart for her as there is for Klaus. That's why I myself draw her so frickin much- because she doesn't get as much love and appreciation.

Also- I actually once got told by this person that they don't ship Eudiego cause it's straight.

And I just-

Huh?? Like, it's still a good ship. Why once a ship is straight is it not shippable?

I don't care if you don't like Eudiego. What I care about is the reasons- and because it's not gay? That is a bullshit reason, man-

Anyway, I digress. I conclude my rant.

Oh, and, yes, I'll likely update this rant in the future :/

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If you saw this on TUA Amino, that's because I posted this there first- so ya uwu.

#eudora patch #eudora #queen eudora #eudiego #eudoriego #diego hargreeves #diego #i love them #bring her back in season 2 or i'll eat all your socks #ship: diedora #diedora