#theres a lot of parts to it so im not sure all of it is true. but theres no way im 100% wrong

[c-kiddo]

Do you have favorite episode of the mighty nein?

im actually not rly sure about specific episodes but i have favourite "arcs" not sm the official ones but like, sequences of episodes.. like from 27/28-33ish is peak nostalgia weirdsad comfort to me. like the stakes suddenly feel very real and everyone just kind of leans into eachother for comfort and i love it. i love the guests at that point too (nila and keg) and of course, cad introduction. and i love the weird clunky travel down to the coast and how the sea opens up before them and they just mess around on the beach and then meet marion. thats so super nice :'''' ). also the episodes ive just been watching 72ish-76 (maybe more but idk yet) at the moment, i love the arc for fjord and the focus on cads family folklore and quest and also i love reani and theres just some really great moments (the dragon, cads commune with fjord and talk about destiny, meeting the dusts and the realisation that the clays had actually been there years ago, also the ep im on they played beer pong lmao) also i like the medieval fairytale legend vibes of having a dragon breathe on a material to reforge a rly cool sword. i also rly like parts of the aeor arc, because of the cosmic horror it rly leans into, and lucien is so good. i like the angst and drama of it all, and also really like cold and arctic and mountain settings in stories a lot. also the annihilation vibes in it a little bit is fun (the big screaming creatures, the books) . im not there on my rewatch yet so i wonder how my opinion will change when i get there. im surprised how much i love the current "arc" (second one i mentioned) i guess i just forgot, but its been rly good

#asks #i dont know if i've forgotten any #there might be specifc episodes i could pick out but idk the numbers or its like . specific half of an episode i rly like #idk ?

[lilcowzia]

Is there a part of your brain that longs to change careers and become a full time professional fatso?

you’d likely be executional at it.

the thing thats wild is: im already a full time fatso lol ik you mean starting an OF or something but realistically, a lot of my energy, time, and effort goes into being the best fatty i can be. and its a significant effort, especially considering how bad my mobility is, even simple daily tasks to take care of myself are a significant undertaking. but its not my job, my job is my job, and i do that as well. my brain does not long for labor. i dont dream of changing jobs, i dont dream of work at all. theres a viewpoint that something like OF is "easy" work, especially if you have a kink that you could be "paid" to do. this is silly imo, being self employed is incredibly difficult, for anyone, certainly including those that are in marginalized work like sex work. online sex work requires marketing, customer service, writing, filming, editing, acting, prop work, hair and makeup, filming space, legal attention re: DMCAs of unauthorized distribution, and im sure theres a lot ive not mentioned too. its a lottttt of work, and even if you succeed, your financial stability is then contingent on performing all of these different types of work, at a reasonably high standard, consistently, so consistently that most sex workers who take a break due to illness notice a deep dive in income. TLDR; im disabled, i dont dream of labor, i just dream of getting fatter owo

#ask

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico referring to his mom as "Mama" implies he most likely at least used to refer to Hades as "Papa" and i 100% headcanon he still does but mostly in the manner of him having the entire Underworld wrapped around his finger for being the baby of the family

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #headcanon #my art #nico flexing youngest child privilages by pulling out the most pitiful expression he can manage #anyways i find it fun to explore character word choices #cause yknow no two characters are going to select their words the same way #or even necessarily think about it to the same degree #i like to think Nico thinks about his word choice a lot #so of course every time he uses ''papa'' he fully knows he's pulling the Baby Of The Family card #Hades definitely knows this too but falls for it every time anyways #cause Nico hasnt called him ''papa'' regularly since getting his memory wiped - just detached ''father'' or at best ''dad'' #so it just reminds Hades of How Much He Just Wants His Children To Be Happy Like The Old Days #and how much poor Nico has been through and he's just the baby of the family and- #cue Nico smugly staring at the camera cause he knows how much power he holds #also i say Nico is Hades' only son cause mythologically even when Zagreus *is* Hades' son (rarely) he's. dead. #a major part of Zagreus' mythology is that he died #and im p sure every other deity said to be Hades' children are all goddesses and also are like 50% of the time not his #theres also only like 3 of them. and as far as we know in riordanverse canon one of them is implied to not be his daughter #so Nico is Hades' only son and also youngest in the family (cause Hazel is older by a month chronologically or 1 year biologically) #(and everybody else is a deity if children of hades at all)

[michaeljoncarter]

it really is starting to feel like every single person at dc has somehow just completely forgotten how storytelling works on a fundamental level. like i genuinely believe 99% of the problems they’re having could be solved if all the writers and the entire editorial staff was forced to take a middle school reading class

#eta since im p sure this is getting recced to people as just the first part: theres a longass addition in the notes lol #all the new news about dark crisis is making me want to actually jump off a cliff it's so bad #and ive been catching up on modern stuff and like #comparing marvel and dc rn is genuinely painful <3 #like i don't super love a lot of what marvel's putting out right now #but idk man #like marauders is probably my least favorite of what ive read in the past few weeks #but even in that everyone feels like a solid character with an actual personality and a history that's referenced #the way they're written is super annoying but you can at least tell the person who's writing them has actually bothered to read up on them #continuity is still a little messy but at least it... exists. and there's a canon to draw from instead of just 'everything is canon!' #u g h #im holding back a whole novella length tirade about this god god god

[seawing-vibes]

Some sillay doodles!! Qinterwatcher + trans jade-winglet doodles <3 I tend to do these silly (very off model & probably real out of character) jade winglet doodles as warm ups & cool downs after bigger drawings !! They’re fun to do

#(also when I say off-model i mean of my personal designs for them . canon designs mean nothing to me lmao) #it’s taken me weeks to build the confidence (?) to post these i do not know why #i did most of these during artfight 👍 theres a lot more but its mainly just little doodles of them standin around #either way I headcanon the entire jade winglet as trans in some way <3 you can put your own headcanons onto that as you please but my #personal headcanons are - #winter (trans man) Turtle (transfem) Moon (transmasc / nonbinary) Kinkajou (genderfluid is the best descriptor maybe) Qibli (nonbinary) #Peril (nonbinary) !! that first ‘’’’comic’’’’ w/ winter is him just tellin everyone because he transitioned before they met & he was comfy #enough with them all to let them know thar part of his identity :0) !!!!!! or at least thats how I interpret it #doodle #winter #qibli #moonwatcher #qinterwatcher #<- is that they’re ship name ?? Im not really sure #turtle #kinkajou #peril #hopefully ill post the other doodles maybe !!!! dunno why im so scared to post art online rn pghj so many artfight attacks …. never posted.. #TideArt

[puppyeared]

why is your name puppy?

my family gave me my nickname so naturally its a very personal choice for me ^_^

#i like this question heh #theres also the fact that i taught myself to run on all fours when i was a kid because i firmly believed i could shapeshift into a wolf/dog #im not really sure it plays a huge role in my nickname but it was pretty damn impressive chasing people playing tag #before this i alternated between the names fox bee and peepee but none of them really stuck so i changed names a lot #think im happy with puppy though. it feels like something thats actually a part of me and not just something ppl can call me #and i dont find it demeaning i actually really like it!!! someone once compared me to a golden retriever and i was like ahhhh i feel seen #yapping #ask #answered #doodles #puppysona

[dullahandyke]

all fun and games being a college student until youre lookin at recipes like 'i dont have a knife that isnt a butter knife. i only have one pot and no pan. making me buy two different types of oil seems like a scam. can i freeze homemade wedges if i make them'

#and my roommates have all those things and would probably be fine to lend me them #but also i do not talk to them a lot. and i am scared #and ofc worst part of being a college student is ive been putting off my work so i wont have time until like next week to go and get shit.. #wait actually my mam is picking me up tomorrow. im sure she'd drive me to home store and more. this is a win #still does not solve my Burning Urge to make my own wedges but sigh ill work w it #edit actually the WORST part of being a college student is i made the idiot move of choosing one of the tall presses #not taking into account that im too short to take advantage of all the storage space.... #i think theres one of the short presses still empty i could claim #but i dont wanna have to bend all the time to get my shit.... meguca is suffeirng

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[toytulini]

god I know this is like The Wrong Stance on AI. I know its not about whether the art is Real and Human or If It Has A Soul and how a lot of the arguments against it are the same bullshit arguments people made against digital art like I Know. I Knowwww. but god, I'm really sorry, not to post like one of those annoying poetry bloggers I cant stand (yall are valid, live your truth, theres nothing wrong with what you post I'm just a petty bitch who hates poetry. unless I dont hate it.)

But theres just something about the way AI art will almost certainly never be able to mimic the exact way my pencil leaves an indentation in the paper, the way some of the lines I can never fully erase cause I pressed too hard, theyll have to at least train them to draw with a physical pencil first, and sure, they could train it to draw with a pencil and even erase the exact same piece I drew, line for line, on a piece of paper with a robot arm powered by AI, but they can't replicate. idk. the lineage of lefty bitches in my family, and the way I grew up going through school with my entire left arm silver with graphite, from doodling on my schoolwork. not yet anyway. but I guess I do live for the day we make the ai sentient enough that we can traumatize it by giving it homework after kneecapping its executive functions so it copes by drawing a big tiddy lobster monster. sure

#toy txt post #reblogs OFF i dont trust yall to be normal with this one i do NOT want it getting notes #i posted part of this before in a chat to a friend but im feeling it again. so #i havent drawn my big tiddy lobster bitch in awhile i should draw her again #also yea SORRY im sure this is The Wrong Feeling To Have About AI but also sometimes im a little grateful that i dont think my style is #smth a lot of the ppl coding ai to make art find to be worth trying to replicate except maybe as like a fake progress shot on a piece #which is smth i used to be really insecure about. how unfinished all my art looks bc it isnt to the point i cant fucking watch #like speedpaints and shit bc i just start feeling stupidly insecure about all the points in the video where I Would Have Stopped and been #like. im not touching it anymore i dont want to ruin it #and ive been insecure about my inability to really do digital art with like a stylus and shit like the way i do it with a pencil #and i know that is just me needing to Practice it but being too frustrated by it #anyway i know its just a Tool and its Fine and the problem is the art theft and the labor problems of it but liiiiiiike #i just. #im sure there will be unique things and usages of ai as a tool and i genuinely hope that ppl can figure out a way to make one that isnr #isnt* just full of stolen content bc theres unique fuckin shit about like digital art programs u can write stupid poetry that you hate #about it. or stupid poetry that i hate. cos im the poetry hater. listen. i cant stress this enough: its fine. youre fine. keep posting your #poetry and reblogging shit that speaks to you. im just a Bitch okay Ignore Me #i should go draw bokrae like. eating a computer about this #the real reason for that graphics card shortage was bokrae ate them all when she was in the mood for a crunchy snack

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles #its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring #im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus. #theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny #actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters #idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me #anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too #and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys #and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male . #maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it. #guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things #i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just. #we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it. #you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week. #but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it. #i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff #but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me. #my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months. #but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy #i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play #all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good. #marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho) #i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often #uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying. #saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up #im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh #text

[passumstars]

I will likely never get to do anything with her

#my art #the band ghost #nameless ghoul oc #i mostly wanted practice making a character sheet ish thingy #and by god i got that #had to work hard for her colors which is not usually a problem for me #and the silhouette flip like if your character doesnt have a tail then bam its done and no one will notice the small problems #but it doesnt work with a tail if you want perspective i had to redraw/move her tail around to make it look right so. learned that very much #i like the layout concept though thats nice #i have a whole backstory for her. she was part of a group summon and it all went fine except that one person was missing and they ended up #with a statue. she was too terrified to talk to anyone so she got left there and after it sounded empty she reverted and found some place to #hide in the gardens. so she lives there now. and ruins a lot of socks. and helps with the plants not that anyone knows that. and panics and #turns to stone if anyone walks by. so everyone does realize theres a moving shifting statue in the abbey but no one is sure what to do about #that. doesnt speak much if at all. doesnt steal a new shirt bc people notice if those go missing unlike socks. has anxiety bitch face also #yeah. and like. i dont know what a fandom is and i certainly dont know what a music is and thats why ill likely not do anything with her #which kinda sucks. but i still made her a character sheet cause she wont leave me alone. and for the practice #cause if i think about doing a sheet for story ocs i get all perfectionist and it doesnt happen #the luck thing is that she kinda thinks being summoned was a curse #im gonna shut up now

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries

[bunnyb34r]

Boy oh boy my car is gonna be a shitload of money (: yay

#my mom's cousin was like oh well you shouldve have (her husband) do it! hed only charge you parts! #like no if i had him do it he would only do my oil which is what i went to the mechanic for and theres a reason my mechanic has so many #auto awards and shit from various places like you go in for an oil change and they check EVERYTHING to make sure you're not gonna #get fucked by your car breaking down and suddenly something they could've caught early is now $5000 bc many moving parts are broke now #and if he did catch it then i wouldnt feel comfortable having your husband do it bc thats a lot to ask someone to do #so i need new brakes bc of course i do 🙄 #it's never JUST an oil change here though but again id rather them catch something than get a check engine light come on when im in like #pa or something yknow?? #and when i got my car we took it to him and all i needed was a new cabin filter bc they sold me it WITH A DEAD MOUSE IN THE CABIN FILTER #AREA which is why i couldnt drive with the ac on for a month 😭 he was like car looks great but mickey died in the cabin filter so uh 😬 #marquilla

[gibbearish]

so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe

#especially when youre far too lazy to dig up sources however if u google passive suicidal theres a lot of info #pretty front and center altho you will get jumpscared by the size 1000 font suicide hotline number #or maybe you wont but i sure was. why was it so big #in this house we simply post both as part of another hashtag relatable post in the hopes that the two for one bargain #will entice viewers to read the whole thing and go 'wait but /i/ feel like that what do you mean' #and then make a meta joke about it in the tags so the viewers think we're hip and cool #nah but seriously i see ppl not knowing abt this . so much and every time im like !!!!!!! no youre not crazy youre not supposed #to feel like this!!!! #so its one of the things where im like nah idc if im being annoying abt this as long as i hit the one (1) todays lucky 10000 who needs it #this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too #and like obviously all of these have exceptions right like. ppl can just want to start a whole new life for non suicidal reasons #but if theres a pattern of these things or you find yourself being drawn back to one over and over again thats #when you should start being like ok somethings afoot #like the imagining ur future one you could easily have trouble visualizing things or even just Not Be Especially Imaginative #...or... it could be that deep down you dont feel like you /have/ one so your brain just. steers away from the subject entirely #and ykno. knowing which one it is is usually pretty helpful LOL #anyways. sorry theres no paragraph breaks i could not for the life of me figure out a good spot for them #/suicide #/suicide mention #/suicidal ideation #/depression #/death mention #and of course i think also like a lot of things this is more of a spectrum than a binary like obviously 'run away and #start a new life' is def a bit less active than 'id be ok w it if i didnt wake up tomorrow' but theyre still both on the lassive side #passive* #eugh im rambling now and not even in the slightly contained way the post itself is #im hitting post without rereading for the 40th time otherwise ill remember another tangent so if theres #any errors left my apologies

[piplupod]

i feel a feeling that is genuinely intolerable and go "okay what do i do with this"

therapist brain says "feel ur feelings, its unhealthy to suppress all the time." rational brain says, "hi if we sit with this emotion then we are going to either be bleeding or dead in approximately ten minutes. so whats another option." therapist brain goes "wellll i guess in that case maybe u can distract urself idk, that can be a coping strategy sometimes." rational brain glances at emotion, shakes its head and shoots back "yeahhhh no can do there bud. this one's a real whopper and distractions ain't gonna cut it this time."

both sections of the brain shrug at each other and then The Disorder brain raises its hand smugly and simpers out "hiiii remember me? yeah this is the reason i exist teehee :) give me five minutes and I'll have an amnesia wall erected and another part of the brain shoved into the forefront and then we'll be right as rain! and this emotion can go rot in the locked cabinet of horrors until another part accidentally stumbles upon it again in the future or until the lock breaks. :)"

#girl help I've just been drawing and then BOOM. unbearable feelings drowning me !!!! drownding !!! i am drowndinging !!! #i dont wanna do this anymoreeeee im so tired of this #i go ''wow this sure is intolerable! how have i ever dealt w this!'' and then the DID does its thing some more👍 #''gee that sounds so helpful!'' my body is in shambles from the overwhelming amounts of undealt with trauma :] #there are many other downsides but . i ain't getting into all that dhfjdldl #im just . grrrrr. maybe its bc i was drawing another part of the brain but c'mon 😭 i was drawing them HAPPY !! playing!! having fun!! #trying to make smth nice for us !!!! god damn this is so ridiculous #i want to go to bed fjfkdl im so tired and frustrated w everything man im trying so hard and it all seems to go towards nothing #im just not doing well idk also this counselor i have has been so flaky and its making me feel so ... eeurgghh #i understand they dont think im a suicide risk so im low on the priority list but I'd like to just... be a priority for somebody just once #boohoo poor me etc etc. other ppl need the help more than i do i know. im just. tired. #there isnt rly a lot anybody can do anyways to help i guess #still makes me insane thinking abt how the social worker had nothing for me except ''well ... u could go to the homeless shelter'' #im just... theres so many fucked up things abt that. sigh. oh well oh well oh well. #just keep making my shitty art and trudging thru the days and finding good things in a day when i can scrape em together !!!! #argh. sigh. I'll go figure out some food to eat tonight. #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #suicide mention #self harm mention

[verycoolsnails]

YAYYY MISHA THEME!!!

MISHA 💖💓🩷❤️💕💖💓🩷💖❤️💖💓💓💖🩷💓

#i loevev them so much did you know that #currently saving up for him and it is HELL after spending it all on sparkel .so many quests and not enough timw ......... #and . ouhhh havent had the chance to talk abt . shit what is it called . lemme go see real quick . #A CHILDS DREAM . yknow that one map with the text on the walls and the melted clocks and stuff . #that was done . SO incredibly well it makes me INSANE........... #so like . im 100.1% sure the speaker (who talks abt mikhail a lot) in that room is misha. #like that IS her voice right . im not going insane #its just . auuh... the dreams (or at least golden hour) in peacony are so childlike .... like . some of the puzzles are jigsaw puzzle ; #turn into a small cartoon character ; and help the cartoon character find his cartoon gears . #and then you get to clockie . who can only be seen by someone w a childs innoence (or smth around those lines) #and that misha can see clockie . which like . cool right ? yeab. UNTIL YOU GET TO A CHILDS DREAM .. #where theres something just ... sososo off . #and its ... its just gotta be misha . its gotta be . idk if theres anything outside of main story im missing (there probably is) #BUT . augh . auf even . #childs dream still has these childlike qualities to it (the paper birds; walking on walls) but just ... more warped #(the general atmosphere of the place; the monsters even .) #the music having a music box to make the tone of the song more distressing ... how its so much more smaller than golden hour .. #aughhhhhh ... its just such a good parallel..... i could talk abt it all day really . #anyways . i WAS going to tell u abt my misha theory (which may or may not be confirmed) bu t i got DISTRACTED. #uhh anyways . my theory is that misha is somehow trapped in peacony . #when misha goes onto the parlor car they mention that theyve never been outside of peacony before and that she can t stay for long . #which i imagine is very normal! BUT its this combined w her lock motif (pupils; most of the doors in childs dream) thag make me suspicious #i mentioned before that golden hour has a very childish quality to it. and that misha has that childish quality. #okay well . what if mishas being kept there so that golden hour can keep on being a dream for other people? #and so that would make golden hour mishas dream. (or part of his dream? could be more people the familys keeping) #and that would imply that childs dream is . well . mishas nightmare . #uhm . i think thats it ..? if i come up w anything else ill . ramble abt it somewhere . definitely not the most eloquent but #i hope i got the point across <33 #i think its an understatement to say i love misha . i LOVE MISHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA