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phoenixfeathersinfall · 3 years

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The Dax Debacle: Re-Imagining S7 of “Star Trek Deep Space Nine”

*This post came about after a few discussions with Lee @creativilee on how the stories of Jadzia and Ezri could have been adapted to better serve both of those characters and respect the work of both actresses! Thanks to them for all their help, encouragement, and serving as a springboard! Anything in italics is theirs!

For all of us DS9 fans, the finale season can be rather fraught for several reasons, many of the biggest revolving around the transition from Jadzia Dax to Ezri Dax, henceforth called “The Dax Debacle.” Many folks seem to love one and hate the other, which is a huge shame because both characters brought amazing potential and storylines to the table, but the writers really fumbled in some key aspects. This sure-to-be-long-winded meta is an attempt between myself and Lee to fix some of those fumbles and give both characters the storylines they deserved. So, let’s get to it!

First, a little behind-the scenes context.

Why Two Dax-es?

To begin with, it’s important to acknowledge that the Dax Debacle was largely unplanned, and the writing often reflects the ways in which Nicole de Boer was shoehorned in as Terry Ferrell’s replacement, just as the character of Ezri was deliberately put forward as Jadzia’s replacement as the next host of Dax. What happened?

It is widely believed, based on various interviews Terry gave during the show’s run, that the set of DS9 was inhospitable to her, placing her in situations of harassment and abuse. By the time of S7, due to this as well as the sheer grueling schedule of the show, she wanted to be moved from a permanent member of the cast into a reoccurring role like that of Andrew Robinson. When it proved fruitless to negotiate this, Terry decided to leave the show, though she explicitly stated she had not wanted Jadzia’s character to be killed on her departure.

Though the writers went through with the decision to kill Jadzia, they still wanted the character of Dax to remain on the crew, and due to the way Trill physiology was designed, they decided to do this with another host, similar to how Jadzia was initially seen as the continuation of Sisko’s old friend Curzon.

Enter Nicole de Boer as Ezri Dax, a young unjoined Trill who had never intended to be a host at all, and the story of her adjustment to carrying on the Dax legacy.

The Story’s Seed

It’s definitely worth noting that the initial conception of Ezri’s story, the young suddenly-joined Trill joined under trying circumstances who has to re-discover herself has a lot of potential! It could have been extremely poignant and moving, in something of the same vein as Seven of Nine rediscovering herself on “Voyager.” Unfortunately, the choices made regarding how she became the next Dax make it hard to appreciate Ezri on her own merits. Both we as the audience and the other characters are constantly seeing Jadzia in her place. It stymied who she was able to be as a character and how the audience was able to receive her. The way she was written invites constant comparisons, often to Ezri’s detriment in her initial interactions with the crew.

Lee said some things extremely well here: “Ezri as a character was hindered a lot by being made ‘Jadzia's replacement’ instead of ‘the next Dax,’ a Dax in her own right. While Jadzia definitely had Curzon's legacy to live with, it was absolutely not all she was, and she interacted with it as such, but Ezri wasn’t written with the same care. She isn't ‘Ezri Dax’ she's ‘Ezri, the one who replaced Jadzia.’ She was entirely written as a replacement, and it shows.”

Fumbles, Fumbles, Fumbles

Let’s review some things that went sideways in Ezri’s arc, so we can see it for the purposes of our rewrite.

The “I'm the new host of your dead friends symbiont" aspect is very difficult to watch. It’s hard to say if the writers wanted to lean into this aspect deliberately, but even if they did, I don’t think they ended up hitting the emotional notes they wanted to.

Ezri doesn’t seem to get much training from what we can tell, and being joined is a huge change! We learned from Jadzia’s arc that initiates often train for years. It’s wartime, but she still really did get thrown into the deep end!

The audience can’t approach Ezri on her own merits, but quite often, the crew isn’t doing that, either. There’s the caveat that they’re grieving and it’s an odd situation to be in, but! Sisko initially tries to interact with her in the same way he would Jadzia (calling her old man, which upsets her a great deal,) Julian flirts with her with the same intensity he did Jadzia in early seasons, Worf seems to only be seeing his dead wife any time he looks at her.

Ezri is given a role as ship’s counselor when she is in no way emotionally able to handle the psychological difficulties of others when she’s going through so much herself.

Her return to Deep Space 9 (the station) seems to contradict what we know about Trill culture. Joining is meant to give the symbiont as many life experiences as possible, and re-association (to various degrees) is anything from strongly discouraged to forbidden. Ezri goes right back to living Jadzia’s life in some ways, in the same place with the same people. Jadzia wasn’t able to resume her relationship with Lenara Khan, but Ezri finds herself being intimate with Jadzia’s widower.

Our alternatives and fixes for the arcs of Jadzia and Ezri fall into three broad categories, which we’ll break down here:

1. Ezri Not-Dax? (Ezri is still joined unexpectedly, but rather than the Dax symbiont, she is host to another symbiont which needed her.)

2. Where in the World is Jadzia Dax? (If Ezri isn’t a Dax, we have to figure out what to do with the Dax we know!)

3. The Legacy Question (The age-old Trill questions of new hosts, old hosts, and interpersonal relationships.)

Ezri Who? Ezri Not-Dax!

The best solution Lee and I were able to find was the idea that Ezri was joined under similar circumstances to canon, but not to Dax itself.

This is still largely workable for the story we want to tell, because, as Lee explains: “The Dax symbiont isn't key to her character, except to affect her relationships with the crew. Her main personal conflicts are about being joined before she was ready, not about being joined to Dax. She still would have worked without the Dax symbiont.”

For the sake of convenience, let’s call this hypothetical new symbiont Nal. So, Ezri Tigan —> Ezri Nal.

Where in the World is Jadzia Dax?

Theres 3 different paths we could take with Jadzia!

If Terry was made a reoccurring member of the cast, the writers could easily have put Jadzia into the position of being given a transfer assignment. Though Jadzia might initially struggle to accept this because of her loyalty to her friends, “with things picking up in wartime, it's believable that Starfleet would want the people more familiar with what dangers are on the other side of the wormhole to be spread around and maximize the number of ships and stations that are prepared for it. Maybe Jadzia acts as a representative and goes around giving lectures/debriefings on that stuff. This situation puts us in a position to get frequent updates about Jadzia, even if we don't see her again!"

If Terry did not stay on at all, Jadzia as a character could still have died, but the Dax symbiont finds a new host back on Trill, away from the station. Maybe we get updates about this Dax because Ezri trained with them for a bit, or the new Dax reaches out to Sisko from time to time, since he was well-acquainted with two previous Dax-es.

The option I like best for purely self-indulgent reasons would be if Terry stayed on for one more season and was present on the station when Ezri arrived, serving as a mentor to her.

The Legacy Question

Since the “TNG” days, Star Trek likes to experiment with Trill, and what happens in relationships between joined Trill and non-Trill, particularly in the case of a symbiont with a new host. We might assume this was part of the writer’s intent with the Dax Debacle, but it went over much better in the move from Curzon to Jadzia then it did in the move from Jadzia to Ezri.

Other options for exploring “the legacy question:”

“If they wanted to explore the whole ‘new host when the previous host was close to you’ thing, they could have had an episode that went into detail about Sisko meeting Jadzia for the first time after the death of Curzon.” Or, just having Sisko reflect more on the changes and developments in their relationship as time passes. They did this quite well initially when Jadzia first came aboard, but dropped it soon after the first season for the most part and left it to our amazing fic writers to pick it back up.

The character of Curzon is often used as a vehicle for explaining Jadzia’s connection to Klingon culture, but he also gives us access to a wealth of relationships which could be used to explore the legacy question. “Curzon had so many friends, and we see a variety of reactions from them, particularly with his Klingon friends. Some of them immediately fall back into that friendship, some of them struggle to recognize that Jadzia may not be Curzon, but she is still Dax, and has a lot of Curzon in her.” Keeping that thread going would have been intriguing also.

The Life of Ezri Nal

Here’s how some elements of Ezri’s story might look with the “Nal” symbiont.

Ezri is joined rather unprepared when a medical emergency puts the life of a symbiont at risk and the host is unable to be saved. For convenience, let’s call this symbiont Nal.

Ezri was always interested in Starfleet Service, especially in working as a counselor (which she studied on her own rather than gaining the knowledge through the memories of past hosts.) She assigned to the station by the Trill Symbiosis Commission largely because there are people there who will know how to help a newly-joined Trill; namely Sisko, Julian, and Jadzia.

Jadzia+ Ezri

Being the only other Trill on the station that we know about, Jadzia puts herself in a mentor role to Ezri, helping her adjust to her new life and consciousness. Her personality and experiences make her perfect for the job!

As a bonus, we get to see how the mentor and mentee relarionships between joined Trill and initiates work.

We also set up some fun parallels! Take Jadzia, who had to try so hard to be joined, and it was a huge goal in her life (to the point where she applied again to the Symbiosis Comission after being rejected once, which is played as something that basically never happens,) versus Ezri who was perfectly happy to be just herself and ended up taking on this responsibility without being ready and without feeling like she had much choice because of how Trill culture regards symbionts.

From the little we know about Jadzia before she was joined, she was somewhat like Ezri-bookish, shy, anxious-and she initially struggled to adjust to the likes of Curzon. But now, she’s gown so confident in who she is, for the most part, and she’d be the perfect person to guide Ezri and help her find joy in her new life.

But, she also understands having difficulties with aspects of being joined, for example, her conflict in whether she should rejoin with Lenara Khan, or how she struggled in the aftermath of the discovery of the cover-up regarding Joran.

In short, Jadzia helps keep Ezri as mentally and emotionally healthy as she can be.

Julian+Ezri

Being CMO, Julian helps look after Ezri and ensure she’s physically well; after all, it’s what he does best! “Having Julian as the Chief Medical Officer on board would be a big draw for the Trill. He's even performed a symbiont joining and removal procedure. He had to be very familiar with Trill biology, meaning a newly joined host would be relatively safe and well-cared-for on board. And, I’m sure that there's a big chemical change in Trill when the get joined, and adjusting to that would be hard!”

Julian can also sympathize having something done you didn’t want or weren’t ready for, and can help her process those feelings. “ They both have complicated relationships with their parents regarding their parents’ expectations and their own desires and feelings, which would be interesting!”

In some ways, Julian can serve as another mentor to Ezri. It would be an interesting shift to watch Julian, who is often portrayed as the the youngest or most “green” be able to mentor and guide someone else. “This is also a good way to show Julian has grown and matured, without having to have other characters just say it.”

If we still followed their romance route, having Ezri as Ezri Nal rather than Dax could have make the relationship between her and Julian sit a lot better with audiences. With a rewrite, Julian is not chasing the “ghost” of Jadzia; rather he’s meeting Ezri for the person she is, on her own terms. This also prevents a regression of his character back to the way he chased Jadzia in the early seasons, and instead honors the relationship of treasured friendship that Julian and Jadzia built.

Sisko+Ezri

As he is with many of his younger crew, Sisko takes naturally to the role of a mentor and father figure with Ezri, again meeting her for the person she is, on her own terms. He serves as a valuable guide to ship life and helps her get acquainted with station staff and residents.

Like with Jake, Sisko encourages Ezri to find herself by being her own person.

Ezri tries to take up cooking as a hobby with Sisko, but the experiences of past hosts mean her skills vary wildly depending on what they are making.

Other Relationships

Garak helps Ezri figure out how she wants to dress, often integrating different styles from past hosts. (He rather jumps at the chance.) Ezri still has her difficulties helping him as a counselor, but her additional training and the lack of complications from the Dax symbiont make things easier. They also get to know each other through Julian.

In this Ideal Timeline, Ziyal survives and meets Ezri. They relate well to each other, both of them not really knowing where they fit and grappling with someone else’s legacy, but they have each other for support. Ziyal has given her portraits as gifts.

She has a similar dynamic with Jake, who is trying to figure out how to honor his parents while being his own man. Ezri starts writing memoirs of sorts about her past lives on his suggestion.

Surprisingly, she gets on with Nog, too. They’re both doing things unexpected and feeling like they’re going to be the first in something big.

She isn’t especially close to Worf, but he assures her that the sacrifices she made for Nal are ones to be honored, and becomes rather fond of Ezri due to Jadzia’s influence.

Thanks for reading this super-long meta! Please tell Lee and I your thoughts on this rewrite!

#meta #i should start a tag for my star trek thoughts #star trek #star trek deep space 9 #star trek ds9 #fan treks #star trek crit #star trek headcanons #favorite characters #jadzia dax #ezri dax #mine

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urcharactersclasspect · 2 years

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I have a duo of friends, one of them is Knight of Void (Derse Dreamer) and the other is Witch of Light (Prospit Dreamer) and I have a hard time giving them personality, interest, etc. That would fit this character's classpect.

Then somethings to take into account. That godtiers do not actually describe nor any interpretations exacts for personalities, as aspects of each classpect wi be greatly similiar and provide a archal type of a person they will not actually give you a full scope of a personality alone. Thats for the combination of other details and factors being at play to decide.

But with that out of the way.

Certain interests might vary depending on if this duo is Trolls or Humans. I kind of cant help in this department TOO much. Common interests Ive noticed for void players is some form of niche creation, not just robots and gadgets like the zahhaks bit also welding, pottery, etc. For light players- just about anything intellectual like history or sciences or about stories or fictional fantasy.

Dersites are more prone to rebellion and darker natures as people. This does not mean they are drawn toward amorality, but rather they might be likely for morbid senses of humor, they might be more confrontal about their distaste for things in their lives. More often actively dissatisfied with their living situations, how people around them are, they are most likely to be bitter people. (This isnt a roast, i swear, im personally a dersite- i just agree with Hussies canonical explaination on Extended Zodiac). They also tend to have messy living spaces and be scattered types. Many seem to make Derse the Active Dream Moon.

Prospitians are kind of the opposite. They might complain, but theres more times than not no bitterness to them in the same way as a dersite. Theres no desire to punch back as hard towards the status quo or in their lives, theyd much rather flow with it instsad of rebelling. They are the types to pretty much work along side the system they are inside of in order to get what they want, or they will simply accept their positions in life and use it to their advantage or loosely fight it in a far more passive manner, most commonly. They are also far more structured and organized. Aka. Prospit is the Passive Dream Moon.

This will NOT actually tell you much of anything for a whole ass character or persons entire personality, however. Which is a misconception I think is popular of the moons inside the fandom. These are just base structures for how a person is, a persons internal psychological skeleton, if you will. Of whichever direction ypu want tp take the arguement of being an Active and aggressive person or a Passive and very lowkey person. Are they more prone to accepting and flowing with things naturally overall? Or they the types to not be accepting of what they are given and are they more prone to completely lashing out at things internally and externally?

Some other notes to keep in mind are, Knights always "Mask" who they are like a personal sheild. Latula with her Radical girl facade, Dave with his Cool Guy shtick and even to an extent Karkats irritability is entirely him puffing up his chest for safety and for insecurity reasons like the other two are. Knights in terms of personalities, are insecure or afraid in some manner and they hide that fact behind fake personas or attitudes towards others.

Witches are usually chaotic people inherently and "break the rules of their aspect" whichever aspect that might be, they are often manipulators within sessions for better or for worse (Jade Harley AND Feferi Peixes are both big examples of what I mean, but Damara seems to fit too). However, they have their place. They will almost always invert into their opposite equalivent which is often useful through the beginnings of sessions, and they are definitely that one person or team mate that can do the most damage to others the minute they feel wronged or if they just wanted to.

Void players tend to be secretive and adverse to having a bunch of the spotlight in conversations and tend to hold back on a lot of things thinking lowly of themselves or of others to a point of deep skepticism of circumstances. Light players tend to be the exact opposite, even if anxiety being at play they tend to be the types to crave attention or relevancy in the things around them even to their own detriments and can be self destructive as a result.

#witch class #knight class #classpects #classpecting #homestuck analysis #classpect analysis

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nanakin · 4 years

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Amane & Aoi

🚨TBHK spoilers🚨

I was about to go to bed when it hit me-

AMANE AND AOI SIMILARITIES!!!

Amane

According to Daddy Long Legs Tsuchigomori, Amane was not popular among his classmates and had a hard time relating to his peers. He also has injuries that suggest he was being physically bullied or harmed by someone.

Aoi

I used to think everyone loved Aoi (Nene always refers to her as the popularity queen) but these recent chapters are showing her in a new light. In Aoi's mind, shes different from her classmates and feels like shes alone (which is shown in a lot of panels of her standing away from her classmates.) There also seems to be some psychological or emotional bullying going on between her and her female classmates.

Amane

Amane wanted to be an astronaut so he could go to the moon because he loves the moon and space- but theres more to it than that. He, much like Aoi, feels the need to get as far away as possible from his current life because he doesn't feel like he fits in.

Aoi

I think her desire to not get close to others and the cold treatment she recieves from her classmates makes her want to go to the far shore- like Amane, she wants to get as far away as possible because she doesn't think she belongs.

Amane

We dont know the details yet, but we do know Amane killed Tsukasa (unless theres some major plot twist coming). We also can assume Tsukasa is Hanako's yorishiro, meaning he was probably the most important thing in the world to Amane when he killed him. So why would Amane kill the most important person in the world to him?

Maybe to pay a price for some kind of wish, but also maybe to help sever his attatchments to his life- kind of like giving up his most prized posession-the moon rock- to Tsuchigomori!

Aoi

Akane is one of the only people that truly cares for Aoi and tries to understand her. In a lot of ways, Akane seems like the most important person to Aoi (not to mention shes definitely the most important to him). However, she still had the giant bug in No. 6's boundary !!STAB HIM THROUGH THE STOMACH!! which would have definitely killed him if they were not in a boundary (since you can't die in a boundary + Akane has school mystery powers that make him stronger).

So what made her do this? She wanted to sever her attatchments to her life so that she could leave everything behind easier-even if that meant betraying the person who cared for her the most- just like how Amane killed Tsukasa.

Well thats all I have! Feel free to let me know if you have anything more to add to this theory, what you think of it, or if you think Aoi is more like Tsukasa (I have seen some really good theories on their similarities as well!) Sorry it wasn't the most detailed or eloquent, I'm totally not secretly typing under my work desk. Thanks for reading!!

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #jshk #hanako kun #yugi amane #akane aoi #tbhk theory #jshk theory

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searchingforbucky · 4 years

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Fic Rec (Part 20) :)

Hey guys! Welcome to the Professor!Bucky fic rec list! Theres some Teacher!Bucky sprinkled in here because I really liked the stories lol. I’m trying something new with this one where I include more fics in the rec, but keep the description to being just the summary/pairing. We’re gonna see how people like it! :) ***means smut

One for the History Books by @cametobuyplums ***

36 years old, divorced, and soft around the middle. Bucky Barnes is your History professor. You’re just his student. Why ever would you want him? ChubbyProfessor!Bucky x Reader / Thor x Reader

Between The Shelves by @cametobuyplums ***

Chubby!Bucky x Reader (Professor!AU) in which Chubby!Bucky is a professor who frequents the college library.

Good Girl by @cametobuyplums ***

in which Professor Barnes rewards you for being a model student.

Pranking the professors by @revengingbarnes

The students are trying to set you up with the Transfiguration Professor. You’re not too opposed to the idea. Hogwarts Professor!Bucky x Hogwarts Professor!reader

Sup Professor by @seasaurusrrex

[A Social Media AU] Bucky Barnes is the “most handsomest man” that you have ever laid your eyes on and oh, would you look at that. He’s your professor.

Pastel Colors by @the-canary

If only the cute teacher would stop pestering you for a pen. Librarian!Reader/ Teacher!Bucky Barnes

If you’re reading this by @notimetoblog

An end of the year bet with your friend/colleague Mr. Barnes leads to an unexpected surprise. Teacher!Bucky

Busted by @cxptain

Nat asks you about a certain contact by the name of “Bucky Boo Bear 🐻💖💕💗” and gets the surprise of a lifetime.

Two for one by @propertyofpoeandbucky ***

Ever since you became the TA for Professor Romanoff, you’ve been seeing a lot of Professors Rogers and Barnes. They seem to be attracted to you, but you have a hard time deciding between the two. What do you do? Stucky x F!Reader

The Lecture by @propertyofpoeandbucky ***

You’ve noticed the professor you TA for has been a bit tense lately, so you figured out something that could help him let loose a bit. Chubby!Bucky x F!Reader

Work Ethic by @propertyofpoeandbucky ***

You’re Professor Barnes’ TA and you’re at his place helping him grade papers as well as something a little extra. Chubby!Bucky x F!Reader

Hello Spring Day 6 by @itsbuckysworld

Teacher!Bucky x Teacher!Reader.It’s picture day at their Middle School. Mr. Barnes is wearing his best definitely not to impress Ms. Y/L/N, and Ms. Y/L/N is wearing her best, definitely not to impress Mr. Barnes.

Behind The Walls by @221bshrlocked ***

You are currently getting your PhD in Art History, your dissertation being about The Power of Nudity in Art. Your adviser recommends you switch from being her TA to another professor because she feels her health is declining and wants you to get the best help/advice from someone new. She recommends Dr. James Barnes and believes he will be of great help to you. Things don’t turn out as you plan.

A Long Lasting Prank War by @bucky-smiles

Teacher!AU. Bucky and the reader’s relationship detailed through birthday pranks.

About Time by @maarrvveell

professor!Bucky x professor!y/n - professor!Steve x professor!y/n: you have a strict policy about dating coworkers but this man is really testing that, although you really don’t want to admit it. Who knew you’d have boy problems in college.. AGAIN

Professor Will See You Now by @becs-bunker ***

you’re mortified by your bad grade in history and decide to confront your insanely attractive professor about it. Warnings: arguing, annoyed!reader, jealous!Bucky, student/teacher relationship, smut, nsfw, oral sex [female receiving], protected sex, fluff

Lunch Break by @jobean12-blog ***

You know Bucky has been very busy lately so you visit his office and bring him some lunch. Professor Barnes/Bucky x reader

Prejudge by @marsmoonqueen

Bucky just learned a lesson: You have to ask before you make assumptions.

Who is he by @savemefromanepicoftimewasted

Y/N was more nervous about starting a new job in a new state than she was moving to an entirely new state. What happens when someone shows her that life can be much better on the other side?

Show Me Love by @lenavonschweetz***

College!AU Where sex-on-legs Dr. Barnes is your History professor that makes it impossible to pay attention in class. Perhaps it’s the danger of it all, but god help you - you can’t stay away.

Meet Me Inside by @denialanderror

You really wanted your last year to go without a hitch so you could finally get your Masters degree. But then Professor Barnes walks in to your lecture. And he makes it a whole lot harder to focus.

In Your Head by @daenyara

physics professor!Bucky Barnes / psychology professor!reader. y/n can’t get the charming professor Barnes out of her mind.

Seat 2C by @viollettes

Professor!Bucky gets signed up to be a seat-filler at the Academy Awards, only to get assigned to the seat next to one of his favorite actresses.

Office Hours by @beckzorz ***

Office Hours with Professor Barnes

Sexual Tension by @imaginativemarvel

(Y/N) transfers to a new university only to find out her new teacher is a hot jackass. Heated words are tossed back and forth but it ends up making them gravitate even closer.

You Wike Him by @buckys-old-habits

Single Parent! Reader x Kindergarten Teacher! Bucky

Extra Credit by @honeyhan-123 ***

Grey!Bucky, Also Silver fox!Bucky, Cuckold, Professor/Student relationship (more like just fucking for grades) dubcon as he’s in a position of power.

Hot for Teachers by @buckysforeverprincess ***

Professor!Stucky x reader

The Forfeit by @ciarawritesmarvel

We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years AU

Laws Of Attraction by @hollandroos ***

I suck at summary’s, you’re dating your teacher, Bucky Barnes and one day he just doesn’t think he can wait to get home.

Lessons in Love by @iamnotoriginalphil***

A one night stand turns into something more when the mystery man turns out to be your professor

Drabble by @saltiestdemonloves

Professor!bucky x pregnant!reader, where you sleep on his couch while he works late so he can keep an eye on you

Thanks for reading everyone!! Let me know how you like this format :)

#professor!bucky #teacher!bucky #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #ficrecs

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1111jenx · 3 years

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Hey, dear Jenx! Regarding your plutonic relationships post. My bff is the typical Plutonic person (8h stellium; scorpio moon, rising and lilith) and had some plutonic relationships in his life (because he's also a typical stubborn and spoiled mama's boy who had a hard time getting some maturity and self love) He always says that the experience in general makes him disgust himself. Like, the other person makes him "feel like a beast" who is always looking for more and more (specially sexually) and although he gets the "primal pleasure" that his body seems to want, his soul feels intoxicated and heavy and feels like he can build nothing respectful and solid with their partner. He has these complex feelings where, according to him, he just can't feel true love and admiration for his plutonic- wild-ride or die partners. Maybe it's his cancer venus 8h, maybe it's his misogynistic mindset, but he is always like that...

Hi beautiful🥳🥳

Ahhhh I see what you're telling me here! I can see what you're trying to tell me here and I too have met a lot of people like that!

I think his misogynistic mindset did come to play at one point of another yet I think its so complicated overall to understand people in general. Like I had a lot of friends who are like that and it took them a while to grow and leave their old mindsets behind. Like I would try not to talk too much about astro because I think this is more psychology based but I'll discuss the sides of his placements that make him have such a complicated with sex.

I think people don't get it how a lot of Pluto dominant people don't generally love sex as much as the mainstream media portray them. To them, sex is sacred and its a lot of intimacy. I have met a good bunch of them that tells me how despite sex makes them feel so good, it also makes them feel bad about themselves in ways they can't even describe? Like I think they also have a traditional mindset where they believe that sex before marriage is bad?! And that their religions also come to play here.

This reminds me of a convo that I had with someone a couple years back, where we would discuss sex and celibacy and things as such. And I remember vividly how he would tell me how he's cynical in a way that he believes if a girl gives in to him too easily, he lost interest FAST and he felt that theres nothing more to her. And immediately I countered him with facts and other stuff lol cause I'm very vocal about my belief. But I think about this and I realized that my friend, the guy who was born as the first son of a Caucasian family that's extremely religious, who went to a very white university, had seen and acknowledged these values his entire life so I can definitely see how its harder for him to leave these toxic thoughts behind. But in the same time, i believe that at the end of the day, it always comes back to the theme of respect. Like I think if you can have your values yet you can't hold it against anyone else but yourself and you should give respect to others beliefs. You shouldn't use yours to justify your belief to justify your wrongdoing either cause literally it means nothing but the mere fact that you're just a hypocrite and a terrible human. Using your values to hurt others is something thats simply too much for me and I think a lot of the time people with fixed values in general find it really hard to find someone suitable for them, cause you don't get to choose who you fall in love with, yes you can rationalize your feelings afterwards so you don't make any dumb decisions but you don't have a choice? You know?

At the same time though people don't change unless they truly want to. So at the end of the day, they themselves have to make the decision to change for the better because literally giving out hate is always going to be one's downfall tbh:)

Thank you for talking to me about this. Ahhhh Idk if I was even making sense but this makes me think and I like that:) Thank you so so much for confiding in me:)

love,

saint jenx🪐

#astrojenx

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quarktrinity · 4 years

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Thank you for your Rich post. I think you added a lot to the fandom. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the Fandom Discourse comes from the source itself. As much as I love BMC, I felt it bit off more than it could chew. Jake's own traumas would take an entire musical itself to truly address; same thing for Rich, Brooke, Christine, etc. Musicals only last for 2 hours or less. [1/4 tictac anon]

“They can only truly address so many things, and it certainly cannot resolve everything it brings up, esp if it's heavy things in a musical such as BMC. Imo, we really shouldn't pretend otherwise. But your Rich post brought up some interesting points. You're right; ultimately, Rich DID decide to light himself on fire inside his friend's house with TONS of classmates inside. And he DID choose to bully Jeremy and likely others. [2/4 tictac anon] However, we see that Jeremy could not see Michael or his messages and was constantly bombarded with distractions. Plus, at the end of the musical, Jeremy's movements were starting to get controlled by the SQUIP! Therefore, it doesn't seem quite black & white. Freewill being compromised due to technology is an uncomfortable subject, but I believe it's something the musical DOES address. [3/4 tictac anon]

After all, the creators did confirm that the theory of the ending being planned by the SQUIP all along was an intentionally valid theory. Not canon but a possibility. "A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you... hate who they hate." -- when the SQUIP looked like a common bad guy and gave Jeremy more friends in the end. What are your thoughts on that? [4/4 tictac anon]”

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this is all very thought out! im impressed, tictac anon!

i understand the feeling that bmc bit off more than it could chew for character complexity, as it would introduce concepts and not have time to follow through on them. however, i think that this is actually a good thing in a way (while it is fair to criticize), because bmc isnt really about those kids, its about jeremy and his navigation through this social world.

when his peers are introduced, they appear very one dimensional, simple, cartoony almost, but in sync up, jeremys view of them gets turned upside down as the squip reveals to him that theres more to them than meets the eye. throughout the rest of the musical we see, through his perspective, that all of these kids have a lot of baggage, and its never quite dealt with within the story, but thats not why the story revealed the baggage. their baggage isnt dealt with because its not their story, its jeremys. instead, were shown the complexity of these characters solely for the sake of jeremys understanding of them, not for any character arc they might have. this is actually used when jeremy takes advantage of jennas insecurities in “the pitiful children” to get her to take a squip. he tries the same with christine, but fails. the supporting characters are given depth not to develop them, but to show jeremy and the audience that no one is quite as simple as theyd like you to believe.

on the subject of free will, i think it is an interesting topic the musical discusses (i even consider it psychological horror in a way), but i genuinely dont think that rich was always forced against his will to bully kids. he mightve been a few times, but its definitely not a constant. the reason i think this is that from jeremys experiences, the squip mainly gives him advice, and uses brute force to prove a point to him (see: when the squip forces jeremy to say “my dad drinks too” to show that lying is often the best way to make a friend). brute force is used to establish a cause and effect for jeremy, so he can initiate the process on his own in the future. people might wonder why jeremy snapped at michael at the party, but its really quite obvious: jeremys been conditioned by the squip to engage with that behavior. even when its shut off, the lessons the squip taught him remain. i believe the same process occurred with richs bullying. his squip, at first, mightve forced rich to bully someone, only to show rich that it would result in people liking him, so hed do it on his own later. the squips seem to only resort to brute force when being threatened by their hosts, so i doubt hes just a puppet in strings all the time.

and, as a person whos written 4 musicals (humble-brag intended), i can say with confidence that people can come up with interpretations or theories about your work that you definitely didnt intend, but wont reject because, as any playwright knows, all of what you know about the story is whats in the script. there are no secrets here, no hidden lore, everything in the script is what the story is. so when joe tracz was approached with the “the squip intended the ending the whole time” theory, he probably thought “oh shit! thatd be so cool! cant confirm nor deny that, regardless of my intentions, because technically it would work within the script!” in fact, with any particular production, the director might actually know more about the story of their specific production more than the writers, and the actors will definitely know more about their characters than the writers do. thats something i find really beautiful about theatre as a story-telling medium.

so that theory probably wasnt intended, but that doesnt mean its not true! the events behind the script are always up to anyones interpretation, whether thats the writers themselves, the directors, the actors, or even the audience!

thanks for sending me these asks, they were really fun to answer!

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merrysithmas · 5 years

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you may have talked about this before but do you believe boris already knew he was queer and first approached theo bc he liked him or that he started crushing after they developed a close friendship and theo was what made him question his sexuality? i think theres reasons to believe either side- boris being bold enough to cuddle him in bed seems like he was making a move but him suddenly “loving” kotku seems like an impulsive move out of fear bc he realized he might like a boy. oof idk

I think Boris knew he was attracted to boys — which is evident by his playful, charming, almost teenaged-desperate pursuit of Theo. I think he probably inherently knew this about himself for a long time. I think Boris has always been physically attracted to boys since he’s entered puberty and since he’s still a young teen it is kind of a fun, funny, interesting, enlivening thing for him.

He’s never had a stable life and despite being all over the world he’s led an extremely sheltered existence in a certain way with only one terrible person as his constant (Vladimir). Boris lets it slip to Theo that everywhere the miners go they are hated — this includes Boris. Boris is hated by the public everywhere they go. So long as he is part of their unit, he is hated. That is mortifying to intelligent good-natured Boris. That is why he learns to slip out and around, to be so personable and friendly. His world travels have not been so glorious but probably rather extremely lonely and isolating (as with Judy in Canada), hurtful, and damaging. That is why Bami and Judy (and eventually, Theo) stand out to him so much — people who were kind to him in a childhood of isolated misery and directionlessness. Boris has no moral hang ups about his same-sex attraction - why should he? This directionlessness in his key developmental years is also a good thing: He never grew up around any sort of organized belief systems or stayed bound within an orthodox culture for too long for it to indoctrinate him as its own.

I think people really underestimate how incredibly remote and friendless Boris’ life must have been. Boris is a cheerful boy who Theo says is often plagued by black moods and sullen attitudes. He is an abused and secluded child dragged from location to location with literally no love or stability and constantly brutally beaten to the point where it does not even phase him. Boris actually equates love with that abuse — and nonchalantly claims his father loves him. That is painful to read, that amount of damage.

Living with a bunch of derelict miners whose leader was HIS FATHER (so surely then mostly assholes) and who are “hated everywhere they go” Boris has probably seen any NUMBER of things a conservative-minded person would (likely often erroneously) see as “morally unacceptable” — it’s like Boris is traveling the world with a crew of pirates. He’s probably seen drinking, all kinds of drugs commonly used in front of his face. He has esoteric knowledge about drug use that a child of his age should not — so he was taught by the miners: roll like this, dont include the stems, never mix this, tuck snuff like this, you can get this kind of drug here here and here, it isn’t safe if it doesn’t look like this. His young child’s mind eager to learn sucked up this black information from men who probably didn’t have a second thought to a child or what his developmental needs were. He’s probably first hand witnessed sex workers copulating with his father’s crew (how else would be have learned about the opportunity to lose his virginity in an Alaskan parking lot to a sex worker?), definitely thievery, and said he saw his father murder a man in the mine once and cover it up. Boris’ mind is full of a lifetime of this morally shadowed behavior being presented as normal, or at least secret but common.

I think he understands his attraction to boys in this same way. I think he feels it isn’t “appropriate” to share with Outsiders but it is something that Happens, something that is no one’s business but his own, and something that brings him pleasure and happiness and therefore something he will look for. However he knows it isn’t common or visible or “appropriate” to be showy about it in front of others — especially not people who could judge him (kids at school), kick him out (society), or hurt him (his father). Boris treats his attraction to Theo like his other vices and “bad” habits - barrels head first — but secret: deep dive into happy drug use (but don’t show his dad), steals everything he ever needs (but don’t let them see, put it in my coat), lies when it suits him (lies to Xandra and Larry and his father and Theo too), happily sleeps with Theo and has sex with him (but this is between you-and-me).

He knows other people might have a problem with his actions — but he does not. So that’s his hangup there. He is aware of and ever-vigilant of his surroundings. School: a safe place isolated from his father. He is free and happy to do what he wants at school — including crush on and go after Theo who he clearly likes. He thinks Theo is cute, flirts with him, tries to get him to notice him, talks to him after class, sits next to him on the bus, begs him to come over his house, tries to impress him with far-flung stories, gives him alcohol because it’s what he’s seen his father’s men do in pursuit of romantic partners or as a bonding ritual with one another.

Theo’s house is also a safe place. So safe in fact that Boris starts to leave behind some of the maladjusted development of his childhood and become more of a happy, clear-minded person. Boris and Theo suffer from arrested development and one of themes of the book is childhood lost. They are forced to mimic adults either knowingly or unknowingly, and act in ways that children should not have to in order to survive this Adult World alone. With one another they begin to heal from their traumas, their affection for one another the catalyst. Theo cooks for him, talks to a babbling eager-to-talk Boris (imagine how few people have listened to or understood the ideas of a smart boy like Boris, often surrounded by oafish alcoholics, his violent father where he is expected to keep quiet, or cultures where he does not speak the language), Theo sleeps next to him willingly, he likes Boris, a boy from New York (the top of the world!) he think Boris is funny and smart and worldly, shares his dog with him, hangs on his words, becomes his companion, cares for him if he drinks too much, tried to tend his wounds, welcomes him gratefully into his broken family, watches his favorite movies with him, celebrates holidays with him, inherently values him — and so starts to mend Boris’ broken heart.

A lot of things and viewpoints Boris has are clearly repetitions of things he has heard his father or the miners say — “Christmas is for children” (of course they’d say that to a tiny Boris longing for the magic of Christmas as a child stuck in a mining camp watching the peripheral joy of children around him and coming back to bleak hunger and a dark home), or “god yes I loved having sex with her” (about his hooker in the parking lot — Boris then says he knew she didn’t enjoy it and never shows enjoyment but rather avoidance towards women and girls in any genuine way afterwards, yet covets Theo’s physical company).

Theo on the other hand, who for a short while and then so painfully ripped from him, grew up with love. His natural disposition in Vegas comes from a place of being so recently loved and cherished by his mother and he here, in this lonely place, turns the focus of this disposition onto the one person who is kind and protective towards him: Boris — his one light in a life that has turned very dark. This is like an alien world to Boris. Lonesome and neglected Boris is touched and startled and soon changed by this kindness. So much so that Theo, unknowingly, alters the rest of Boris’ life (Boris feels Theo saved his life).

So that is why I believe the Kotku Gay Panic came about. After their climactic Vegas pool scene where their abuse and trauma is opened to one another (their wounds from their fathers, from fire, literally pouring into the purifying chlorine of the watery womb - mother - pool as they try to drown one another, angry at their attraction to one another, but then cling to and save one another instead) Boris begins to not just have fun and have sex and have freedom with Theo (all okay things by Boris’ standards as long as it is secret) — after that scene and they sleep together and Boris satisfies that teenaged human sexual need... they continue to hookup and be at bliss for a very long, happy time where they both begin to psychologically heal— Boris doesn’t just have sex and fun with Theo, he realizes he starts to love Theo.

Love - an extremely foreign concept to Boris who literally freaks the fuck out because he has no baseline for it. It isn’t the type of “love” that his father gives him (violent, untrustworthy), it isn’t the type of “love” the men who grew up around valued (cheap parking lot sex), it isn’t the kind of “love” his idol Larry has with Xandra (Larry lies to Xandra all the time), it isn’t the kind of “love” Boris has seen in his favorite movies (men and women over and over). No, this love with Theo is very very scary to him. Very perhaps dangerous. He doesn’t know.

I think Boris accepts his physical attraction to men as nbd. I think he probably feels most people feel such attractions or some other harmless private desires that certain people may see as an aberrant from “normal” for whatever reason (either typical kinks and silly hush hush sex shop porno stuff - or other far more despicable things he’s witnessed his father’s men do) and so thinks nothing of his own innocent, consensual goodtime-centered desires. Boris, who likely grew up with little exposure to healthy LGBTQ representation and has a very isolated POV in some ways, likely to some degree at the Vegas point in his life (however casually self-accepting he is) equates same-sex attraction with hush hush taboo sex activities — nothing to be ashamed of, but you’re not going to tell your dad.

As long as it is a personal thing, for him only, Boris embraces it. But it is the emotionality, the healing, the care, the love that freaks Boris out and makes him make a run for it to Kotku — only to recede to what he knows and repeat the exact kind of fake “love” he was taught by his father: unbelievable exclamations of devotion (Boris’ dad sobbing and telling him he loves him + “I love her I love her! She’s beautiful and perfect!”) coupled with the black truth (Boris’ dad beating the shit out of him + Boris beating Kotku).

Boris knows he likes boys but when he starts to love one — that’s when he runs away. Because that means something totally different: societally and personally.

#ask #anon #the goldfinch #boreo

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cantankerouscanuck · 4 years

Text

Grimdark Husk

Now, here's an idea I have for our resident drunk old bastard and gambler extraordinaire;

So, Husk was in his 60s or so when he died and he died in the 1970s. I heard somewhere he fought in the Vietnam War, but that'd put him at age 50 at the start of the American intervention (admittedly, this factoid may have changed without my knowledge). However, being born in the 1910s does mean he would have been in the prime of his life just in time for the Great Depression, Prohibition, AND the Second World War.

When one considers he grew up in that era, his sullen demeanor makes a lot of sense

Then of course there's the war he fought in. America fought in both the European and Pacific theatres and either one offers Husk a personal hellhole thatd beat the humanity out of him. Going West, he has the likes of Pearl Harbor and Okinawa along with battles on the high seas where drowning on the Pacific is just as likely to kill him as a fight with the Japanese navy. But if he goes East, he has the brutal mountain warfare of the Italy invasion or he landed on the shores of Normandy for Operation Overlord and both were packed with the likes of the SS out to kill him.

Now bear in mind this all goes down when before he's even out of his 30s. He spent his childhood in a world of mass poverty and gang wars and grew up to fight in the nightmarish cruelty of war. Even if it wasn't the Second World War, there's still the Korean War. That was hardly any better then WW2 as Americans were at first woefully unprepared (The North Koreans had tanks, the Americans had no anti-tank weaponry of any kind at the start) and then there was the constant last minute reversal of the war. And that's before taking into account that there was talk about dropping the bloody atom bomb on Korea.

Now take ALL of these possibilities. Regardless of which battles he fought, the sheer violence he'd have witnessed and partaken in would leave deep psychological scars. And now, add his trademark alcoholism and gambling problem. Either the drinking and gambling came about as a coping mechanism for Husk's trauma, or he ran into steep debts with crime lords and joined the war to hopefully to escape that. Regardless, his "theres no love left in me" opinion of himself makes a lot of sense considering what he's been through. And unlike the other Misfits, he died in his senior years. After his youth was spent fighting just to survive and drinking away his sorrows, that makes for a textbook cranky old man. The other Misfits died fairly young, but Husk lived a long time with his PTSD rattling around in his skull. And I know from first-hand experience that drinking away that kind of psychological damage only worsens it and Husk spent the next 40 years like that

Tangentially, Husk is also probably a very dangerous demon in a fist fight. When you run out of ammo on a battlefield and the only way out is fighting, you can be damn sure you can use just about anything as a weapon. Using your gun as a club, your trenching shovel, even a rock or outright waterboarding your enemy in mud all become viable methods. And if Husk survived front line duty, he's definitely not someone to get into a fist fight with. And then there's the very high chance he got into barroom brawls in life and in Hell. If they happened regularly, his combat skills wouldn't decline so he'd be just as deadly with a broken glass as he would be with a rifle.

But of course, I'll address his magic tricks and his relationship with Nifty and Alastor. Firstly, he grew up in the Great Depression. Perhaps he picked up an interest in magic around that time. From his father figure, a random book he found, innate knack for it, who knows? Either way he does sleight of hand tricks for his own amusrnt at first, but a few people he lived with (other members of his platoon, possible wife and/or child, take your pick) enjoyed them too. So magic tricks become the only source of true happiness for him.

As for Nifty, I see the two first meeting in Hell and the two have a sibling relationship of sorts. She just followed him everywhere being her usual hyper self and Husk didn't have the heart to ditch her when he learnt how cool she thought his magic tricks were. He doesn't do anything with much razzle dazzle, just simple card tricks and the "what's that behind your ear?" but it never fails to amaze Nifty. How much she enjoys it makes her the only person to actually make Husk happy and in return he's perfectly fine with breaking his bottle over someone's head if they're a threat to Nifty

Alastor is a whole other bag of snakes. As evident in the pilot, Husk doesn't like him a lot and the biggest reason he works with him is because Al always has some liquor for him. Most likely Alastor keeps hiring (read; summoning him at random and offering a case of beer) Husk to be his accomplice in his antics because Husk is a very capable brawler and he really doesn't care how many skulls he has to crack so long as there's booze for him. Alastor probably sees him.as the only reliable hired muscle and it amuses him when he messes around with Husk too

But that's just a theory

#hazbin hotel #cartoon #cartoon hell #vivziepop #why am i doing this #why am i like this #hazbin demon #hazbin husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin niffty #theory #got theories #theories #why do i do this to myself #this is why we can't have nice things #this is me #i made this #world war 2 #history

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dndwithsuperbestfriends · 4 years

Photo

Session 5

They return to the Beornings and rescue Grypho from Franks three unruly children, who spent the whole time tormenting him. They do hug him though, and he isn’t as obsessive as he was earlier over the books from the dungeon.

They get paid for their quest, and they put their noggins together and discover with their information that Munroe the evil Laketown hobbit was trying to instigate a race war, with the help of Orcs and goblins so their next quest was to uproot the scoundrel.

Frank asks Beorn if he knows somewhere where they can scrape enough money to pay King Thranduil, who the party has to pay because he ensured safe passage through Mirkwood so far. It isn’t an easy feat, seeing as King Thranduil is notorious for being greedy AF. Beorn said that there might be an abandoned temple in Mirkwood.

So they head in that direction and find the abandoned temple. Problem is, there is a sleeping bear inside. A GIANT sleeping bear. Bigger than other bears. They brainstorm ideas, including the healer making sleeping aids/poison, to pit traps. Ultimately, they decide to have Belladonna use stealthy-stealth to steal treasure and bring it back.

Belladonna tries to steal the treasure using stealthy-stealth, unfortunately the bear passes one of his persuasion checks and attacks her, the rest of the party comes inside to her aid.

A long battle, the bear tackles a wall that falls on Frank and Rocks and they almost die via massive damage. Luckily, they pass their saving throws, but they do have to burn an inspiration point to re-roll. Belladonna is also buried under the rubble, but she wasn’t hurt as bad as them, but everyone assumed she was dead. Larkspur digs her out eventually.

They bear requires the absolute effort of everyone, his health is so high. At one point the players IRL joke about calling him fat to do massive psychological damage.

Larkspurs player IRL had SUPER bad rolls this session, even though she was three feet behind the giant bear she kept missing him.

The poorly drawn pencil sketch in the middle is Rocks using their persuasion ability to persuade the bear to leave, because the bear was close to dead, and as a Warden killing things outright is not something they want to do. Although they DO successfully convince the beast, it was Frank’s turn next and he was definitely going to stabby-stab it to death after it dropped a wall on him.

The party doing their FINALIES at the end was the players IRL, it was a really long fight.

The session actually ended here, but the next session was cut short after grabbing loot because of IRL fighting (which happened a little bit in the last session, as you can Larkspur doing the ‘everyone is fighting...’) Here is some sketches from both me and the original artist.

In the session following, we loot through the bears hoard and theres a shit ton of treasure and magic items.

One of them is a seeing stone that Rocks finds, when it makes them flash through middle Earth they assume that it was a drug laced rock (they did a lot of shrooms when they were younger, so they will always assume drugs before magic) and they hide the stone in their bag, which gives them a shadow point.

Theres also a magic rings that makes you more nimble, we make a proposition joke and Frank says something along the lines on “My people don’t give rings for proposals... You get wood.” And then we all make dick jokes.

One of them is actually the artist redrawing a scene I did when we were both doing shipping art together. We joke that the real reason Grypho is so useless is because he spends the whole campaign staring at the muscles of the manly men of the party, and then another that Rocks is technically half a man. (Rocks has a masculine torso but feminine shape / hourglass figure) Their resentment with their hobbit heritage is also so strong that they wear boots even when they sleep.

The last sketch is Nimrodels little elf sister (Her players IRL daughter)

#lord of the rings #dungeons and dragons #adventures in middle earth #lotr #dnd #elf #hobbit #dwarf #human #playable character #pc #original character #oc

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purrincess-chat · 4 years

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damn purists. cant a character have mistakes/flaws? i get that adrien’s sometimes annoying but damn it’s not like he didn’t do good things as well. its like people only see the negative things. ying and yang people. theres always a positive and negative, 2 sides of a coin. how can people learn from mistakes. adrien learned it in desperada obviously

Lol, obviously not I guess. Like I'm not gonna stand on any box and claim that any character is perfect, Marinette included, because that's just not true, first of all, and secondly, not good. No character should ever be "perfect" and I don't think any character ever truly is even if the narrative tries to convince you of such. Flaws are everywhere and in everyone. They're inevitable. Yes, some flaws are worse or more unforgivable than others, but I wouldn't say Adrien has breached the threshold of unforgivable, at least not to me. Age has to do with some of it, his sheltered nature being another. He has never had the opportunity to learn, and people would take that opportunity away before he even gets the chance.

I'm not saying people can't be annoyed. I'm not saying people shouldn't voice their grievances. But there does need to be a limit, a balance, and an etiquette if you want to salt. I really don't think Gale was intending for people to jump on their post with all their hate, I think they were just voicing their opinion in their own space which is more than fine. It's their blog and their right to do so. And you can argue that if they post it in a public space it's fair game for anyone to comment on, and while that may be true, you don't have to be that asshole.

I say it all the time that people should find their niche. If you want to hate on something, go find other people who hate it too and hang out with them. Everyone has things they hate. That's normal. But don't come onto someone else's post who isn't hating and shit in their mouth. It's fucking rude.

Purist mentality is just so tiring, and like the thing is, the purists themselves aren't even pure. No one is. No one is free from flaws, so expecting someone else to live up to an impossible standard is hypocritical. "Adrien is selfish" oh, so you've been the patron saint of honesty and integrity your whole life? Truly? Never once had a selfish moment? Never done anything for yourself? You've given away every dollar you've ever made to charity and donated every piece of clothing of your back to help the poor and needy? Didn't think so.

I could go on psychologically about teenagers and brain function, and I have before, but I'm honestly at work atm and don't feel like getting into that again, but I think we as a fandom can collectively chill. I don't think we should be a purely positive place (hence why I can never fully get behind the ml sugar movement) that never thinks critically about or salts about anything because I do think salt and criticism has its place in the world, and it's okay to have opinions, but there does need to be balance, and I can definitely see the frustration of a lot of people in the fandom because we have become very salt heavy. All I can offer you is just block people's asses if they bother you. You don't have to put up with anything you don't want to on this site.

#cat replies #asks #meta #cat salts #idk man #i just wanna watch a cartoon #make some gifs #write some shit #reblog some art #have a good time #im just really tired

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

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Magnus loved putting his hair in feminine hairstyles but Camille humiliated him over it so he cut his hair short and styled iy in masculine hairstyles only. It was decades later that Alec accidentally discovered this and encouraged Magnus to style his hair however he wants to

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally, my first ask with a magnus/malec headcanon! Im so happy i could die

(warning: this will contain discussions of psychological/emotional abuse and queerphobia, particularly biphobia)

but no really like ok i have a lot of thoughts about this actually. because like in the show theres this one picture of Magnus ragnor and Catarina together in what looks like the 1840s (im mainly going by the type of photograph here, but also clothing, and jesus christ im already putting so much research into this somebody stop me), so that's when im assuming they were together

i only have the pic with this writing over it srry

also magnus is almost definitely wearing a corset in here which is driving me insane

anyway, at that time, it was not unusual for men to have long hair even if mens hair was still commonly shorter than women's hair. it was also during that decade that men's fashion in England started to reject frills and colors and become more boring like we know it today (source is the one about fashion above). so when magnus and camille were together, the idea of a man being "too girly" fashion-wise was pretty much being born in western culture. so that brings.... many layers

i tend to think magnus wouldnt really internalise a lot of the "oh you dress like a girl" stuff because 1- i mean hes so comfortable with it, but more importantly 2- he was alive way before these concepts were even born, and he was raised in at least two non-modern-western cultures (indonesian and whatever the fuck kind of culture demons have) where the concept of gender is/was radically different. so he's bound to have a little easier time not believing shit like "oh wearing x is for girls" because hes known different for a long time.

BUT living in an abusive environment and simultaneously a turning point in how gender performance was viewed is bound to fuck you up, too. so i can see camille using that against him, like "cant you see that times are changing? you're gonna lose all respect if you keep dressing like this". we also know that camilles abusive arguments stem a lot from magnus' immortality and the issues he has with it, so this possibly came into play as well - you can't keep up with the times, you're staying behind, soon you'll be an outsider and people will look down on you because of that. so....... yeah, i think camille could have done a big number on him by using that, and his gender presentation as a whole, to make him feel inadequate. i kind of even think that the makeup and the clothing has a little taste of "fuck you camille" yknow, like, hes gonna be who he is and embrace the fact that he doesnt really fit into the western binary. but you can also see ways in which he holds back - for instance, he only wore colorful makeup when he was depressed because of Valentine and in the finale, when he seemed to look actually comfortable in his own skin, happy, and his makeup and accessories were a little bolder and outside the box. so basically - camille using magnus' gender against him and as a way to manipulate him is entirely plausible, and i believe that part of magnus' development in the post-show years are gonna have to do with that, with wearing what he wears less like an armor and more like a form of expression that he has fun with and that feels entirely his. and i think this can present in a lot of ways, like longer hair, less traditional makeup, different clothes. and obviously alec thinks magnus is always the most beautiful person alive and supports his experiments with gender and expression and no one would even dare get nasty about it because if u even think about snickering in magnus' general direction alec will have a blade on ur throat in .2 seconds. also this is giving me some nice images of magnus with braided hair, so what im trying to say is basically bless this ask really.

also this is a little unrelated but i mean, Ive seen so many bi men in abusive relationships with straight girls its impossible to me to not think his sexuality had a huge part on her abuse, possibly even more so than gender, considering how the whole gendered clothing thing was kind of still being established during that time, whereas "sodomy" was a crime punishable by death in england until the 1960s. and this got me thinking - for Camille to be so adamant on the fact that people leave Magnus and die and that he needed her because he could be assured that she wouldn't die on him, that must have been a nerve at the time. he probably had lost someone close recently and was having trouble dealing with it. that's further supported by the whole "magnus nearly jumped off a bridge and Camille talked him out of it" thing. so what im saying is, what if Magnus had lost a friend, or even a lover, to the capital penalty? like that's... very plausible. at that time there were no accords, so he could go around meeting mundanes and getting involved as he pleased, and Magnus probably wasnt all that shy about his sexuality (again, he was raised in environments where that wasnt looked down on), so its entirely plausible he lost someone important to him who was a part of the community, maybe even felt like it was his fault - maybe they got caught together or something and magnus had to fake his death cuz immortal, or maybe he just feels like he should have done something but it was too late, we know magnus is the kind of guy who wants to Protect Everyone - so he was probably hurting a lot, feeling helpless, having just lost someone for being pretty much the same as him, and he meets this woman who keeps talking about how inadequate he is and how people always leave him and how shes the only one he can count on not needing to protect or worry about because shes also immortal and powerful, and shes kind of a ticket to at least pretending to fit into what that culture thought was right, and he was depressed and isolated and- look, its just entirely plausible that his sexuality played a huge part in both making him vulnerable to camilles abuse and giving her ways to hurt him and twist the knife. i kind of plan on exploring that if i ever get around to writing that fic about magnus and his sexuality throughout his life so uh stay tuned i guess

anyway im sorry if that was rambly or incoherent or too long im really tired and im kind of travelling rn so not a lot of tumblr time but i really wanted to answer this. thank you so much for sending me this, it made my day!

#ask #anonymous #shadowhunters #sh #magnus bane #malec #camille belcourt #abuse tw #queerphobia tw #biphobia tw #overflowing trashcan

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