#theres just something about windows

[bonebabbles]

I keep starting and abandoning posts that go into my drafts, as I try to stay tasteful about how fucking revolted this part makes me. Like, I'm legitimately unsure if the very relevant trauma I have is making me see things that aren't here

But first we see that Star Flower is trying to ingratiate herself to the group, just after she reappears from chapter 5. Chapter 5 is about how Clear Sky is still abusive towards his son, and she comes in after stroking his ego, stressing how alone she is, and appealing to how she'll be loyal unlike his child. (She glances over at Thunder, directly implying this.)

Now in Chapter 9, she's babysitting and trying to care for Milkweed's kits (in spite of discomfort from Milkweed), taking a wet sleeping space away from the others, and pulling more than her own weight "without complaint." Putting herself through harsh sitations to prove her worth.

All while trying to appear extra attractive to Thunder, and later Clear Sky. Basically every man in power who can "protect her"

Like, am I going fucking crazy? With how we later find out that Star Flower was "promised as a mate" to One Eye's subordinate Slash, is... is that hypersexualization? One of the extremely stigmatized symptoms of sexual abuse?

She goes to find Clear Sky alone to throw herself at his paws, and he's very quickly attracted to how she promises to perfectly obey him, have no needs of her own, and finally be the perfect servant that he desires

"I don't deserve your trust because I am dirt. I understand you because I also regret something. I'd die for you. I'll never betray you unlike those who have."

This isn't manipulation. She means this. The story is playing their romance sincerely. She's comparing "betraying" Thunder by telling her own father about an assassination ambush to Clear Sky's history of child abuse, physical assault, and murder

She believes she's on the same level as this; a monster who murdered a childhood friend in a fit of entitled rage. She was a victim of One Eye who really believes that the way her father used her means she "understands" this monster, deserves this treatment.

And Clear Sky LIKES that.

He likes that she will have COMPLETE FAITH in him. That she will follow him WITHOUT QUESTION. That she will OBEY his orders. That's fucking verbatim, that's THE TEXT!!!

WHILE HE'S STILL CRYING ABOUT "ive tried to atone every day" FOLLOWING THE LAST TWO BOOKS WHERE THE ONLY SHITTY THING HE DOESN'T DO IS MURDER INNOCENT WOMEN

Am I insane?? Am I wrong??? Am I missing something here???? Why the fuck is the fandom takeaway "haha sexy girl steals his dad." Did I read the same book

#Csa mention #Did they once again do a misogyny so hard they accidentally gave their woman character trauma #My tip to anyone in a draining relationship. If your partner fetishizes that YOU would never leave or betray them unlike ''all the others'' #RUN. #There may be a reason their exes cut ties with them and they're praising you for ignoring red flags #Especially when your partner is significantly older and more experienced #Theres nothing noble about constantly suffering for the sake of 'loyalty' #Star Flower PLEASE get out of here you dont fucking deserve this you did nothing wrong #Bones reads dotc #Dotc hate #I thought i was just remembering things wrong when i was adding the subtheme of thunder having a connection to star via abusive dads- #-in my dotc rewrite. But no it's right there. It's in the text and it's something clear is attracted to #I abuse the shit out of my son and he left me once over it #But i can abuse this girl his same age and she won't run. Finally! A victim who won't leave! #And then they become mates and she births at least two litters #Cw abuse #sa mention #EDIT: I've changed the language just slightly #because the timeline COULD work out that starf was an adult when she was promised to slash for a very brief window of time #and hypersexualization is a symptom of trauma resulting from many types of sex abuse. Even that done when the victim was an adult. #it's just more common in CSA

[skunkes]

having struggles with hobbies and enjoyment and creativity again

#thinking about buying more supplies to make more clay things with and like #idk. id never get good anyway but if i got good what would i do? theres only so many smunkers or als or talons i could sculpt #ykwim? #i wish i liked things and i wish i could make things #i liked making something out of clay but i have no ideas #i love printmaking: screenprinting and block printing. i have block printing supplies. i have 0 ideas. #if i woke up tomorrow an art master id still have no ideas on what to draw #its why i havent improved at bgs or composition. bc i dont draw it because i dont know What to draw #wrt symbols and icons and colors and such #ykwim... #my whole life is just. i like thing so much. i wish i could do it too but im stuck outside looking in thru a window. i wish #i could participate. its not enough to like it i want to do it too. but i cant...! #if i were any good at art id make a piece out of this. out of all my other feelings. but i dont know how to make work that Means anything #its just. technical show of skill. no feeling. no meaning. nothing. i cant make anything #i always talk about how I fear finding a partner bc what would I have left to draw? #i am not an artist. not really. #and if I am i got the worst luck and the worst brain for it. defective. #talkys

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

watching space station videos for fic research and this astronaut is explaining how they sleep and that they dont really lie down because it always feels like shes still standing up anyway. she says "i dont have any sensation in my head that tells me im upside down so it doesnt matter"

i think thats what time sense is like. this thing in your brain that makes you able to orient yourself like in relation to, like, gravity? humans float in time like astronauts float in the space station. theyve got nothing in their brain telling them whats up and down.

and i dont know physics but like gravity distorts time along with space right? thats what they told me in world enough and time right? magic space hole, dont call the lift, cybermen problem

anyway i think thats what it's like. just like feeling gravitys effects on time? and then when it disappears or gets broken, which i hc happens with the master a bit after the timelords take away the drums and then relatively soon after that they regenerate very close to a black hole TWICE. TWICE AT ONCE. i think those things together mustve really fucked with their time sense i dont think the master can orient themself very well anymore, cant tell whats up and down anymore, just always floating

#theyre showing oUT THE WINDOW TO EARTH NOW AND SEEING THE VOID OF SPACE AROUND THE EARTH IS FREAKING ME OUT HOLY SHIT #THERES NOTHING THERE #ITS JUST NIGHT #anyway i think about the masters time sense a lot #bc i think when they HAVE it. like all their life. it's already fucked #i think the drums fuck it up #or like thats a manifestation of its fucked upness #anyway i wrote that whole vault fic abt it so you know but like #i think when they have their time sense it's sort of like. a stripped screw? #or like. something that doesnt stop when it should #im trying to think how you could say that with the gravity analogy but im not sure #but i think when they have it it's like that. like kinda in overdrive? and then when they loseit #or most of it. it must be such an adjustment #like first time is so insistent and relentless and constant that it Hurts and then all of a sudden it's so hard to feel #you feel like youre floating all the time #first youre dizzy one way for all of your life and then youre finally used to it and they take it away so now youre dizzy ANOTHER way #the master on earth in their first years after regenerating not only manually transing their gender but also #trying to adjust to this new disability #and then finding hte doctor and not only are they now sudddenly this super special person in your eyes #but also they seem to be doing FINE #you got fucked up like three times over in your attempt to be friends with them and they just MOVED ON

[hungharrington]

i need your help i’ve been having too many thoughts about sneaky fucking with steve and I don’t know what to do with them… I trust you with the job soldier

bestie ur so in luck cos i literally just wrote sneaky fucking the other week over here - but it’s a bitta mean!steve so if it doesn’t scratch the itch…. u just come on back n lemme know, yeah? 🫡 soldier

#i also have so many thoughts about sneaky fucking with steve #wait i coulda made this a blurb and maybe that’s what u meant #LMAO #he truly invented the hook up at the drive in #he loves knowing that once glance into his windows is JUST enough to give something away #theres one person in that car? on the passenger side? huh??? #meanwhile he’s got his mouth between your legs n hands gripping at your thighs just teasingly scolding you for being too loud <3 #can’t imagine him being a ‘let’s sneak off to a closet or tiny bathroom to fuck’ bf #he would stop the moment either of u bonked a head or elbow hehe #but free bedroom at a party? that’s fairrrr game baby #he’ll even be mean about it & put you up against the door for the challenge of it #and it both gets you off faster so it’s win win 🤭 #sneaky fucking is always always missionary tho #he wants to see your face <3 especially as you try to keep all your noises down <3 and not fall apart too loudly <3 #nothing steve loves more than you burying your moans into his neck — justttttt for him to hear <3 #well u got the blurb vibes in the tags HAHA #jay answers #mutuals💫🫧

[cruelsister-moved2]

also i dont want to overshare but when i was like 16 dealing with insane amounts of anxiety especially regarding men, and traumatised because of men, i saw a therapist who would mid session stop and be like "oh you're so pretty" and i dont want to label it as sexual harassment because maybe it was just more like a misogynistic attempt to make me feel better about myself as an insecure teenager, but it fucked me up worse than any belligerent harassment i ever got from a stranger or schoolmate bc of not just the authority they held over me but specifically the idea that this person is just here to help me and also all-knowing and can do no wrong, so i was aware it made me feel unsafe but wasnt able to process that the way i can if a guy yells at me on the street AND i didn't talk to anyone about it bc this was peak 'mental health acceptance' era and i didnt know how to talk about the way my therapist made me feel more unsafe than anxiety did. anyway i just think it's important to keep in mind that therapists are just people and some of the ways we talk about it involves elevating therapists themselves to a status that ignores the experiences of marginalised people in which their therapist was acting not as deity of mental wellness but as a white person or a man or a straight person or a cis person etc. acting like therapists always know what's best for you and even that they have your best interests in mind at all is dangerous and dismissive^_^

#the visceral memory i just got of him being like 'wow the light catches your eyes so perfectby that window' SIR WHY DID YOU SAY THAT TO ME!! #and my therapist at school was homophobic v_v #but that didnt mess w me as badly bc i could laugh about that hfgdhfg #like honestly misogyny always gets me way worse than homophobia #literally just being reduced to an object #and homophobia is like okay well ur not gonna stop me from loving bc youll say im ugly or hate men. i am and i do #but misogyny is like yeah u are going to stop me from going out alone after dark ever. im afraid #also i can turn off rbs on desktop now yayy #i dont thnk i even put it into words exactly but idk theres something about experiencing an -ism from ur therapist

[magioffire]

am i the only one who gets slightly irritated (read: irrationally irritated) when americans are discussing american issues amongst themselves and some european has to come in like “WELL ACKULLY all you dumb americans are wrong and stupid and also fat cant forget to mention that and LET ME TELL YOU why your experience is Wrong” like please...shut up....please god...

#just like its annoying when americans think everything is about them its ALSO annoying when europeans think their experience is superior #like whenever we are discussing the problem of heat related death in america and how AC/central air should be a human right #theres always someone who has to be like #'ACKTUALLY youre stupid and fat and selfish if you use AC typical americans just open your windows to keep cool!!' #meanwhile they live somewhere temperate and cool and have never dealt with the extreme temps that can be common in many parts of america #please if youre european and you think you got something smart to say about how americans live you most likely dont know the half of it #and try talking to us instead of just being like lol typical dumb americans!! doing dumb things!! #and why do they always gotta bring up weight too when they are losing a debate with an american #every single time its always the 'well...YOURE A FAT AMERICAN!!" when we actually bring up good points #i guess clownery knows no borders or nationality #anyway i woke up and made the mistake of reading the comments in an article discussing AC as a right in oregon #after 100 people died from heat related death #theres always someone who has to be a purposely obtuse little SHIT #rant cw #and dont even get me started on how some europeans are very purposely obtuse when discussing racial issues in america #dont EVEN get me started #also theres the fact that with climate change related heat waves becoming more common EVERYWHERE #youd think it would be more like yeah we've been having heat problems here in europe too this is how we cope with it #instead of ...whatever THIS SHIT IS #(also a lot of our buildings esp lower income cheap buildings arent made to withstand super extreme temps for long periods of time) #(because they were either A. built in a MUCH cooler time B. built with a 'fuck it we gotta flip houses' mindset in mind so they are Cheap) #(or the heat reducing measures in old buildings were enough 150 years ago but they arent enough now)

[crimmson]

between my computer deciding to rebel, and work, and life, and I feel like I have a perpetual minor cold with that kinda slightly stuffy feel and that taste in the back of my throat,

I am kindly requesting someone to just Old Yeller me at this point

#the computer one is pissibg me off particularly because i Just built this shit two years ago #then i do a driver update a couple of weeks ago and start noticing that now if i game and watch a stream at the same time #some windows process starts choking the fucking life out of my CPU after a couple of hours #and after following a chain of looking shit up i get to ghe event viewer #and there's just a nonstop parade of errors for typically one or two things #at this point i drag my dad in because im out of my depth #i do some more shit. i update and reflash the bios. i check drivers 500 times. i reformat the drive and reinstall windows from scratch. #even if it seems okay for a bit it eventually starts shitting out errors again. #they are either about DeviceGuard or complaining about the network #i look up some more things! i find some references but they tell me to turn off or on some things that are already enabled or disabled. #we begin thinking theres something wrong with the network part of the motherboard #i have an adapter we grabbed from work to try when i get home. #if that doesnt work then i am buying a new motherboard cpu memory and cpu cooler #because if im going to have to fucking replace shit then i might as well upgrade #part of me wants to keep the old stuff and set up a new computer and try troubleshooting because puzzle. and i hate not knowing WHAT PART #SPECIFICALLY is fucked #bro i am so TIRED #i JUST did the math a few weeks ago and was like YES if i live on ramen for a few pay cycles i will pay off my credit card and start saving #to put toward my student loans when those start up again. and my computer went 'lol thats cute' #like i am deathly afraid that i will replace all this shit and it'll STILL have this issue #like. it's useable. i could live with it. but it's clearly not normal behavior and that's what bothers me. something is clearly wrong. #not to sound old but remember when shit just fuckin worked #like i sat there for 5 hours yesterday trying different shit. finally thought i had fixed something. go to bed. wake up. #STREAM OF ERRORS for the network thing again every few minutes while i was asleep. #what are you DOING. what is WRONG WITH YOU. #my dad is looking over my shoulder at the event viewer like 'that looks like a SQL statement but why is it failing etc etc' #EXCELLENT QUESTION AND I ONLY UNDERSTOOD THREE OF THOSE WORDS! why is my computer sick!! #no it's not a virus. i promise. i was raised better than that #it FEELS like something fundamentally broke. it feels like a hardware thing. but how. what fucking demons did microsoft summon #in a driver update. that went into my computer and physically broke my shit

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(this is me saying that i loved Superman forever and everyone who comes out of the woodwork saying they love it now too because she isn't yeehaw anymore are fake. (jokes joke jokes)

he's not all bad like his reputation

i always forget to tell you i love you, i loved you from the very first day

I'M LOVESTRUCK AND LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW)

#taylor swift tag #look im just saying #I'LL BE AROUND WHEN YOU COME BACK DOWN #FOREVER AND EVER AND #idk theres something that always hits about this song #and like waiting for someone #lovestruck looking out the window

[vcrnons]

so. i just nearly died.

#shut up j #bugs & insect cw ahead #real. like actually real. #I was in the bath ok. #minding my business. consuming content. as a bitch does. #out the corner of my eye i thought I saw something flying but i checked and there was nothing so I just went back to watching this video #literally 30 seconds later. BIGGEST. MOTHERFUCKING. DADDY LONG LEGS. IVE EVER SEEN. flies around the shower curtain #the scream i scrumpt. was so loud. my mother ran upstairs thinking I was being murdered or some shit. #she bursts into the bathroom like WHATS GOING ON and I’m like THERES A DDL and she looks like she wants to kill #me herself. #valid honestly but [redacted] please some of us have phobias ANYWAY #so she’s like where tf is it and I looked up and I could see it on the window so I’m like right there GEDDIT. so she did. #I saw it fall out the window and we closed the window and everything was fine #I go BACK to my bath expecting peace #these fuckers said peace who I’m here to ruin your night because about 15 minutes later GUESS WHAT #ANOTHER ONE COMES ROUND THE SHOWER CURTAIN #I SQUEALED AGAIN BECAUSE OF COURSE I DID????? #and I stood up because it LANDED. ON. ME. so I’m trying to get it off and I’m gen about to start crying #and then it started flying towards me again so I screamed Again and stumbled and FELL. I FELL. #IN THE BATH. FUCKIN. WATER SPLASHES EVERYWHERE. IM STILL HYSTERICAL. #mum comes in AGAIN and is like BITCH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. and I’m like THERES ANOTHER FUCKING— #and she’s more worried about her mf bathroom because the floor is like. to be fair. there is not a dry inch of floor. BUT HELLO??? #let’s think about ME????? #so we got rid of the other one and the anticlimactic ending is that I washed my hair and am now sat in my bedroom with a sore throat #but Jesus fucking Christ #HAPPY AUTUMN I GUESS. DAMN. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I need to sleep for 5 years

[visdiefje]

Sorry for my repeated freaked out apartmentposting. It will happen again

#life is short and full of things yet incredibly vast and endless and lonely. you get it #that said. in positive news I honestly sleep better here than I do at my parents especially in recent months #that's part nerves about upcoming life changes part me not blinding my room anymore ever #and this one happens to be a lot darker by default #but also the beds really comfy and my duvet actually covers my feet versus my weighted blanket in summer cover which is Slightly Too Short #only problem is there's mosquitos here and no bug screens at the windows #so I have to play strategy games with the lights and windows in the evening to keep the room sleepable #but I think I've got something that mostly works #I don't care about them being anywhere else or about being bitten #I just don't want em in my ears and face at night #it's true what they say. you're never alone. theres bugs #bien rambles

[writerwithtoomanyships]

One thing I've tried to learn is that there are people who will never be as connected to poetry as I am. There are people who won't understand it's just as much a part of me as my heartbeat, my bones, my soul, there are people who won't understand it brought me back from the dead, how it killed me and revived me and brought me out of what I've been through bruised and scarred but alive, there are some people who never had the connection to poetry I did, that I still do, because when the were falling poetry wasn't the branch they managed to grab onto for dear life. I forget this a lot.

#rambles #my rambles #the irony is i get hurt a lot bc of this #i say something poetic or show a poem to the wrong person and theyre just confused or just give an uninterested response #ig its why i keep that part of me to myself now #sometimes im scared ill never find someone as connected to poetry as i am #someone who understands my body is more ink than blood #idk #its a weird thought #it feels like everyone who adores poetry as much as I do died decades or centuries ago #do you ever wish you could back in time? to your favorite poet in particular #and just hug them and tell them you feel what they feel that both of you thought no one else ever would and write poetry with them #just be there #knowing youre not the only person in your time period to think in broken poetry #logically i know theres other people like me who probably feel what i feel and who loves poetry to the extent i do #but theyre always out of reach #how do you tell someone when you were 14 you were in a mental hospital and there was a rotting apple outside your room window #and it was the most poetic thing youve ever seen #how do you tell someone when you were even younger than that you saw a dead crow on the side of the road and it broke your heart so much #that you scribbled a poem (still your favorite one) about its stolen flight into one of your many notebooks #so it could be immortal #how do you explain all that to someone #especially someone who has never grabbed hold of a poem til their knuckles turned white bc it was the only thing keeping you alive #putting this in the tags bc i doubt anyone will read it

[steampoweredskeleton]

One of the most confusing parts of autism is knowing that ppl are looking for a specific answer when asking your opinion, but not knowing what they want. This is closely followed by knowing that someone is asking you one question but meaning something else and not knowing what they actually mean

The apprenticeship review I was in had both for a solid ten minutes and I want to rip my hair out in frustration

#delete later #it genuinly is pushing me into a meltdown and i need to go get my headphones before i push muself into a panic attack #she also sprung something on me out of nowhere about a meeting i have tomorrow and now im panicking over it bc i didnt prepare #bc it was marked as an introductory meeting #it means that every deadline and plan ive made has gone completely out of the window #im going to smash my head through a fucking window im so unnerved and frustrated and uncomfortable and anxious #she didnt check anything that is normally checked and i dont understand why and its made me really worried abd unnerved #and i hate it #truly the worst part about becoming more mentally healthy is being able to feel enough emotion to find out that half of my panic #attacks are actually meltdowns that made me dissociate and hyperventilate. now i dont dissociate as much and theres nothing #between me and the overwhelming frustration and discomfort so rrying not to hit myself or the wall or scream or bite through #my tongue is way harder #just have to force myself to get the weighted blanket and pin myself under it until i can think again

[gemharvest]

#me #artings #sorry theres just something so. pretty about seeing this in the mspaint window

[hillerska-official]

I have this fun thing where I've been *almost* sick literally all month

#maybe theres just actually something wrong like a sinus problem #or maybe my windows have mold and i never leave the house #(im almost certain about the mold but idk if thats what this is lol) #anyways #personal #not yr

[ayakinari]

you ever just

#duck rants about something #hoooooo man. why did all my motivation and ability to create go out the window as soon as i finished that valk piece #i cant draw. i dont know what to draw i knew what i had to draw but i cant. put it on canvas #cant go in an art block now of all times theres less than one month and a half until finals and i need some sort of portfolio put together #by then and. i am Still exhausted i thought !! it was getting better but nope i am still incredibly fatigued by Everything #and to make matters worse its thursday tomorrow meaning the classes i dislike the most i just want to lie down for 10 years maybe i dont kn #maybe pursuing art as a career was a bad idea. maybe im not fit for this but im already over a year into this art school and i dont want to #waste the money my family's put into letting me go to this school #and i absolutely love it here the teachers are nice and my classmates are cool and i made friends for the first time in years #but god if i havent been in the worst headspace of my life this past year. #well this year was going a bit too well for me in terms of art i had a steady pace of imrpoving and trying out new things but now its just #i cant do anything. no matter what i doodle or sketch or just let my hand do whatever nothings coming out and it terrifies me #maybe im being dramatic! i know someone would say im being just that #god i dont want to go to class tomorrow either im not in the mood for a religious lecture but ive already skipped the past two weeks #keep it up any more than that and itll probably result in a call to my parents #my parents are probably gonna call me later tonight anyways. should get it together til then #maybe i need a nap. maybe i need to go outside and take a walk and look at a bug. maybe i just need to go out in a field and scream #auhgh but i need to draw i need to make Something i cant halfass something the way i did last semester and barely pass #and now im getting dizzy just typing this out thanks brain #ill probably delete this later i just really need to. hhghghhhgh please let me draw. please let me make something or anything at all #i dont know what id have if it isnt art. #ive always been mediocre at everything in my life the only thing giving me peace of mind is drawing #if thats all im good for then what even use am i without it #and sure! maybe im actually not that good at it! maybe my artstyle is uninspired and boring maybe im just wasting my time!!! #but i still love it immensely i love making my silly characters i love drawing out my dumb stories i love just. #making things and being okay at it. maybe. am i actually good at this probably not. maybe im also mediocre at this and just kidding myself #sorry for being emotional on a wednesday. must be the curse #anyways