#theres like. books and tv here. WE GOT STORIES. and trees

[dropoutparty]

ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5

here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:

tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3

ok lets get on with the post

at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.

now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.

after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).

anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.

zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!

the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.

now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.

NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.

its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,

anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.

anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).

moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.

gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).

anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!

now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!

anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!

the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.

as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!

basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.

#ngc ramblings #nes godzilla creepypasta #godzilla nes creepypasta #godzilla nes

[dream-woke]

Something About Spiderman

[Peter Parker Imagine]

About: While watching tv with Peter, he grows frustrated with how much you like Spiderman.

Warnings: None

Note: I had a habit of writing Tom instead of Peter, so if you see any Toms anywhere in the story, instead if Peter, please let me know.

~Not my gif~

“How does one miss this much school?” You questioned, looming over the table of unorganized papers.

Peter had begged for you to come over and help him get through all the work he’s missed, and you had repeatedly told him no. If it had been any other week, there was a chance you might’ve said yes. But, you had to stay home all week just in case the plumber had finally decided to stop by like he was supposed to three days ago to fix the sink. So, Peter being Peter, had popped up at your door with a folder too big to be true and four deli sandwiches crammed into his hoodie.

“The internship wants a lot from me, like they want my attention twenty times more than any other employee.” He said, his voice muffled due to his mouth full of sandwich.

“So then why are you still an intern?” You asked, twirling your pencil in your hands. He looked at you with a blank face, but said nothing and began to rummage through the papers, ignoring your comment. You snorted at him, then reached to grab your sandwich and take a bite.

“Okay so, we should start on the easy stuff first.” You stated, wiping your mouth with a crumbled napkin next to you. Peter began searching amongst the papers, once he had found what he needed, he placed the paper between the two of you.

“Alright, so we should start with science and then move onto math and then reading.” Peter stated all of the subjects from hardest to easiest - for you of course - and had opened his science book to the page. You cocked your brow at the brunette, questioning whether or not he truly needed your help. Peter noticed your look of confusion.

“Ah, sorry. I forgot your not good at science,” he said and paused before taking a deep breath in and out. “Or math. ” Peter snickered, looking away from you and at the paper.

Clicking your tongue, you playfully punched his arm, causing him to let out an ‘ow’. “I’ll have you know Parker, that I have a B in that class thank you very much.” You contorted, swiftly taking the paper from his hands, as well as the book.

After an hour had passed, you had set your pencil down onto the table, and stretched your arms above your head. Peter had snuck a glance at the exposed skin of your stomach right before it was covered by your shirt after putting your arms back down. Clearing his throat, Peter put his pencil down.

“Maybe we should take a break, watch some tv or something.” He said, getting up from the chair and darting into the living room before you could state your opinion. Shrugging your shoulders, you got up from your seat.

Following him, you plopped yourself down onto the floor next to Peter, leaning your backs up against the sofa. Peter had turned on the tv and both of you were met with the latest news of Spiderman. Its was much of the same stuff - Spiderman swinging around the neighborhood, stopping robbers and drug deals. Even so, you were always hooked onto anything that had involved the web slinging, crime stopper.

Peter looked at the tv and then towards you. His eyes bouncing back and forth, he noticed how immerse you were by the view of him swinging around just to save a cat from tree. But the fact that you didn’t know it was him bothered him. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel like this was the most anyones ever contradicted themselves - being jealous of himself. Using his foot, he knocked it against yours to grab your attention.

“(Y/N)?” You let out a ‘mhm’ but never broke your gaze from the tv. Peter thought about doing it again, but decided that it was enough for you to listen to him.

“Why do you like him so much?” Peter said, sounding a bit unsure of his question. But it was enough for you to break your gaze from the small screen. Looking at him and then at the ground, you shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t know, theres just... something about him.” You answered, straightening your posture up against the couch. Peter narrowed his brows at your statement.

“Like what?”

You bit your lip as you were thinking, looking at the small owl statue that decorated the coffee table.

“I think... I don’t think it’s just the fact that he’s a hero or that he’s mysterious,” You stopped, thinking once more before continuing. “I think its the way he’s so much more normal compared to all the other heroes.”

Peter had sat up away from the sofa, getting a better look at your face. “I mean, from what I do know about him, I’m pretty sure I’d love to meet him. Someone like him, he sounds great.” You finished off, with a gentle smile.

At that Peter had felt his chest clench, in warmth and in envy. After about twenty minutes, you were ready to end your break. Stretching once more, you turned towards Peter, who was already looking at you in deep thought.

“Pete?” You said, breaking him from his contemplation.

“Yeah, uh, sure.” He said, looking flustered. You snorted and playfully punched his arm.

“We should finish the work while we have the time.” You tilted your head towards the dining room.

However, as you were getting up, Peter suddenly grabbed your hand, causing you to face him with a questioning look. Looking straight into your (E/C) eyes, Peter gave your hand a light squeeze.

“(Y/N)?” He said. He wasn’t a hundred percent sure what he was doing and right now it felt too late to pull back from whatever his body was going to do. He inhaled sharply before pushing it out. He looked at your hand in his, feeling how right it felt, how perfect your hand fit in his. Dragging his thumb over your fingers, he bit his lip, averting his gaze towards yours once again.

“Do you...” He cleared his throat, his eyes dancing across your face. You waited for him to speak, but instead was met with the feeling of the atmosphere shifting into something much different than the one before.

The look in his eyes was causing goosebumps to crawl up your arm, it was beginning to kill you inside, feeding into your lack of patience. But this lack of patience was different than the others. The way he was staring at you, biting into his lip, and the warmth of his hand - this was a different kind of impatience.

“Do you like Spiderman more than you like me?”

He was waiting for you to answer, but you couldn’t find yourself thinking straight - especially with the way he was looking at you. “I-I...” You tried to speak but the tension between the two of you was so strong, it was as if you forgot how to speak. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips.

Feeling as if there was a magnetic force, pulling the two of you together, you both had began to lean in. First it was his nose brushing against yours. And then it was his lips brushing against yours as he tilted his head to the side. Your breathing fell of beat, hitching as his hand let go of yours, and placing itself onto the side of your cheek.

And with six unreasonably loud knocks, you both quickly seperated, breathing heavily and out of pace.

“Yo, I’m here ta’ fix ya’ sink! Open da’ door!”

You groaned at the unfortunate timing of the plumber. Like of all the times he had to come, it just had to be now. Looking once more at Peter, you questioned whether or not you really needed your sink fixed. However, the pounding against the door had knocked you out of that thought. Groaning once again, you got up to answer the door.

“Finally, what are you people deaf or somethin’, don’t know how to answer a door on time?” He sassed, scoffing as he pushed past you with the tools in his hand. You rolled your eyes at his ‘on time’ statement.

Peter cleared his throat. When you glanced back, he had his phone lifted up. “Aunt May needs me, apparently theres someone who needs to see me.” He said with an apologetic smile. Giving him a small smile you nodded.

Right before he walked out of the door, he stopped in front of you. “To be continued?” He asked.

You smirked. “To be continued.”

#spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #spiderman homecoming #avengers #peter parker #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #avengers endgame #avengers infinity war

[vsterolson]

Hi hello! I’m Bee! I never know what to say in the intros so here’s the basics: I use she/her pronouns, I’m 23, I live in the EST, I’m not currently working so I’m sure I’ll be around a lot if I’m not sucked into my rewatch of Grays anatomy too much. my discord is big miss steak#9778 if you prefer to chat and plot on there. Now onto Aster! 

tw: miscarriage mention, cancer mention, death mention

[ cis woman, she/her, benedetta gargari , twenty-three ] i can’t be sure, but i think i just saw ASTER OLSON drive onto the parkway. don’t they know we’re not supposed to be driving on that haunted road right now? maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re so +GREGARIOUS and -RASH that makes them feel SHAKEN about everything going on. i guess we could also chalk it up to the fact that they’re always reminding me of CRACKED LIPS COATED IN CRIMSON LIPSTICK, CRUSHED VELVET DRESSES PAIRED WITH BEAT UP DOCS, A COLLECTION OF HALF DRANK TEA COVERING THE COFFEE TABLE. either way, i hope they get back safely.

Aster is Reed born and breed. She came into the world the hospital just ten minutes from the house she would learn how to walk and talk and sing joyfully off tune. Where she’d learned that love wasn’t always spoken but shown in the tenderness of cleaning up a scraped knee and making sure your favorite snacks are always in the pantry and finding time to read your child bedtime stories even if it’s over the phone because your shift went long. 

Aster learned a lot about heart growing up, but not always what to do with it. She saw her parents love and fight with equal passion. Even when their marriage fell apart she couldn’t even be mad because she saw them fight so hard for it. 

Growing up she was one of those kids that made witches brew out of mud and sticks and acorns and any other odds and ends she found during recess and always invited the kids sitting alone to help. And she always brought her classmates a cupcake on their birthday even if she didn’t know them because everyone deserves to be celebrated on their birthday. And freshman she went through a phase of writing secret admirer notes to just leave in random lockers so for just one moment they would feel like they were worth admiring even if she was taking the risk of inflating someone’s ego.

Aster is an empath through and through and has made it a very bad habit to run herself dry to keep everyone afloat. Unlike her parents she never learned when to give up the fight and walk away.

Her fierce tenderness was tested junior year of high school when her mother got sick. The big C. But after all those nights of barely sleeping in hospitals, Aster knew there was a place for her and her big dumb always caring heart. She knew she had to go into medicine. Her mom didn’t make it, but maybe Aster could help other people’s moms make it.

She was a little harder after her mom passed, a little colder. Or at least she tried to be. She didn’t want to feel like this tragic person with eyes like broken faucets, but she didn’t know how to fix the plumbing so she tried just freezing the water. But then the empty aching of running from herself set in so eventually she just had to let the water run till a dry season came along. It took about six months, but eventually she could hold herself together and her and her big heart moved along.

Then college came and she was determined to have it all, the tv worthy college experience. Freshman year she joined everything she could till she was properly burnt out and realized that premed was going to take a lot more of her attention and she got much more studious.

Then came senior year and the first time she let herself be selfish. Somehow her TA position got a little blurry and despite being madly in love with her boyfriend at the time she kept finding herself tangled up in her professor’s sheets. The guilt was heavy but soon she got even heavier. Before she knew it she was late for her period and there were little pink lines on a stick and her life was quickly changing.

While flooded with panic and guilt she was also thrilled. She always wanted to be a mom, more than almost anything. But before she could even figure out whose it was, she lost it. 

The depression was almost as heavy as when her mom passed and she only had a few weeks with the new future she was creating for herself. Accept now she couldn’t even talk about it. Not until her ex best friend dragged it out of her. Finally some relief until her ex best friend turned on her for her own gain and blasted her business for a gossip column.

 This wrecked everything, Aster lost her scholarship and ended up dropping out with a semester left to go. She also lost the love of her life. The whole incident turned her quite bitter, the bright eyed tender hearted girl was taking time off and left way the cold girl she tried to play the part of in high school.

Now she works at dana’s dinner and lives in her childhood home that her mom left her. She’s learning how to be warm again, that it’s ok to trust people. That there is value in being vulnerable and tender and having a big stupid always caring heart is a gift and not just something people will take advantage of.

As she was figuring her life out she reflected back on her mom’s time in the hospital and realized she wouldn’t have made it through without the nurses. So now she’s starting nursing school to give that heart of hers a purpose.

As for how she’s holding up with the disappearances. It’s hard for her. Being such a big feeler she can barely stand to have the news on, but that doesn’t stop her from hearing the gruesome details. Towns like this thrive on gossip and the dinner is not the place to avoid it. Everything is feeling very heavy these days so if you see her eyes red as she’s serving you coffee don’t mention it.

She does feel a bit guilty for how emotional she’s gotten because of it, none of her loved ones have been harmed, but there are people hurting, this town is hurting and there’s no one to fix it. This sort of thing really troubles her. All she can do is bring baked goods to those in morning and offer a shoulder to cry on or ears to listen, but it doesn’t seem enough. 

Even worse, she can’t help but be consumed with the fear that it could be her father on the news next. She calls him everyday, sometimes twice. He’s very stubborn and she knows he does a lot of business out of town. 

random facts:

she has two rescued cats. An all black cat named zelda and a calico mix named luna

she has a vast tea collection because its good for the soul and its also rude to not offer guests a warm beverage so she has to be prepared for whatever they might like

she thrifts almost all of her clothes and is like a magnet for the good stuff. Her wardrobe consists of lots of crushed velvet and silky lacy things and of course an abundance of sweaters and flannels.

She’s very bad at finishing projects. She’s pretty bad at finishing almost anything actually. Her apartment is filled with half knit scarfs, books with only chapters to finish but will never be opened again, unfinished drinks growing mold.

She has a scar on her ribs from a bicycle ride gone wrong as a kid when she was caught by the sharp branches of a fallen tree

she hates to text, she will call just to answer a simple question. 

connection ideas:

childhood friends

her ex from college - if you like lots of angst this is the one for you

other exes

fwbs - even better if theres feelings they’re refusing to admit

ride or dies

coworkers

other nursing students or people that work at the hospital she might know from volunteering

after the incident in college she kind of went through a party phase so maybe people she partied with 

#parkway.intro #miscarriage tw #cancer tw #death tw #and the mess is here

[soaringsearingphoenix]

12, 22, 50?

12 - Favorite flowers

Daffodils will always have a special place in my heard because the poem I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud was one of my favorites as a kid. I also love fragrant ones, like roses or star jasmine. And edible flowers, like nasturtiums, and radish blossoms, and borage.

22 - Fictional crushes

Uh!! I dont know if I have had crushes but Ive had a lot of fictional characters who ive desperately wanted to be my friend. Theres a distinction between characters I like as favorite characters and characters I badly want to hang out with.

In about middle school it was Kate from the Mysterious Benedict Society, who was basically a walking toolkit. Piper from The Girl Who Could Fly, for whom the book is named. Katie, also a titular character, from The Girl With Silver Eyes. Also Jo and only Jo from Little Women.

More recently my reading pace has slowed a bit but there are a few from books, and also podcasts. I love Hera and Dr. Alanna Maxwel from Wolf 359 podcast. Carlos from WTNV. I don’t like GoT but I care a lot about Brienne from Tarth, as she’s characterized in book 2 which is the only one I read, and I havent watched any of the show.

From tv it is Star Trek Data, She Ra Entrapta, and uhhhhhhhh Doc Ock Spiderverse and also Aunt May Spiderverse

Also if the show Hilda had come out when i was like, younger than 12, it would have been all i thought or talked about for months. So retroactively Hilda and her friends go in my childhood list also.

50 - Dream house

Ok so it hasnt changed much since I was like 8, but it’s got a basement, two stories, and roof access so I can put plants up there. The windowsills mostly have planter boxes. There’s a dining room meant for company, and a patio area as well for nice weather days. The yard is otherwise devoted to my garden - raised planter boxes of herbs outside (and inside!) the kitchen, pollinator garden in view of the dining room and living room windows, some food crops beyond that. A handful of herbs are around the patio, like rosemary near the grill ‘cause that’s where I’ll use it. Lemongrass anywhere I plan on hosting, to deter spiders from nesting near my guests.

I maybe keep chickens. I definitely keep bees, to pollinate, and I trade honey to my neighbors. I also have a box for raising mealworms indoors in the kitchen, because they are both a very efficient source of protein and a feed for birds if you keep them.

I have a treehouse in my yard. I always imagined it in a fruit tree but that may not be ideal. Might just take some grafting, I dunno.

I don’t keep sheep or goats but one of my neighbors does, and I let them come over to graze between crop rotations.

There is a room with big afternoon-sun-facing windows. I keep beanbags and cushions in here, and I nap during the day. At night I sometimes have guests over for tea. We sit cross-legged on the floor, listening to the windchimes outside the window we opened to let in the fragrance of the honeysuckle draped around the wall.

Any part of the roof that isn’t green is solar panels

[causeimalady-thatswhy]

Is this room getting smaller?  It feels like its getting smaller.  I hear the sound of footsteps in the apartment above.  Our window is open to try to circulate the suffocating air and I hear cars driving past, going well over the speed limit.  Our TV is on, the portable dishwasher is going, and I hear two unfamiliar voices enter the building.  Which is like sitting on your bed in the house you live in and hearing someone walk down the hallway right past the door to your bedroom, only you have no idea who the fuck they are.  We hear everything here.  All of the noise is polarizing.  And then I hear my kids.  I get lost in the noises of our musty cave.  My children find me and bring me out.  They ask for a snack.  I smile, say no.  They continue playing.  They don’t know, because this is all they know.  I continue sitting, lost in thought, dreaming of anywhere to take them that isn’t here.  

We almost rented a house. A few times.  But things came up, we decided not to, we decided to wait. Four years later we’re still where we were.  Everything is more expensive, so we fucked up. We’re trapped.  In this small apartment.  With the small rooms, that feel smaller with four people living in them. Four people.  900 square feet.  That’s not even that bad.  I hear stories of people close by and far away that have it way worse.  My mind wanders to that place, and then the guilt sets in.  I should be so lucky to live where I do.  There are people in the world who are suffering.  I don’t deserve pity.  But as much as I try to pull myself out, I am suffering.

We almost bought a house. That just happened.  We got so close to freedom.  We were denied our loan.  The details make sense now, but we were told it was a go.  We were pre-approved, our offer accepted, all inspections passed, title work done, closing costs covered.  Nope, just kidding.  A week before closing.  The closing of our hardest chapter, by far.  A week before we could get the keys to a real home, with a real yard, and a real fucking laundry room.  With neighbors far enough that if they lit a bong the smoke wouldn’t damage our mattresses and couch cushions and my innocent babies wouldn’t wake up with black boogers.  Neighbors far enough where I don’t have to explain to my young children what they’re smelling in the hallway as were walking down to do laundry.  Neighbors far enough where when there are domestic disputes until 6 am, loud enough where it sounds like they’re going to spill through our cave door, our kids wont wake up confused.  Neighbors where if the drunk idiots next to us decided to throw a fucking party, the bass from their stereos woudn’t scare my kids into thinking there are loud monsters in their room.  Privacy.  Peace. Fresh fucking air.

I live in a safe place. Safety, to me though, is relative to your mind and your thoughts.  My sister basically lived in the ghetto and mentally, was totally fucking fine.  She wasn’t scared.  My apartment has “security”.  The security guards couldn’t do anything about the drug problem but hey at least I have a number to call.  I live in a safe city.  Full of tourists in the summer, rich or poor people in the winter, but pretty much safe. This city, like most others, is completely unaffordable for people trying to start their lives.  Low paying jobs galore, expensive homes galore. Middle class?  Gone.  There are people in the world who are dieing.  I am selfish to think I deserve more than them, more than those mothers who, like me, so deeply crave a better life for their children.  But their better life is across the country, continent, ocean, world.  Mine can be almost anywhere in my county.  I am blessed and lucky to be born in America.  But am I really safe? Never.

My husband is a veteran. He went to war instead of college. When it came time for reenlistment, I was pregnant and he decided to take me home and try college again.  He does everything for me.  I say he doesn’t show me affection but everything he does, he does for me.  As I’m writing this he is talking to me more than usual, and touching me more than usual, because he knows.  I want out of here. I want my kids out of here. And hes the only one who can do that for us.  Really I should be fine, the pressure is on him.  But my mind betrays me.  He works hard. He deserves a house more than me, but my kids deserve a house the most.

Theres a park down the street with a playscape and a cute beach on the bay.  My kids basically grew up there.  No backyard, remember?  Once when we were at this beach, my kids were playing on the playscape.  Two men were sitting on a bench looking out at the water. They both got up and walked towards the parking lot, towards us.  One man was holding his phone, and as he got close I saw that his camera was on.  He smiles at me, looks up at my son, takes a fucking picture of him, and says “cute kid”.  Safe my fucking ass.  No where is safe.  I could kill myself for not ripping the fucking phone out of his hand, and shoving it up his weird old fucking ass.  I called the police, because I am who I am.  And the person on the phone seemed concerned, but my husband said everything was probably fine.  Except I read about pedophilia and weird fucking people on the internet all the time. In my mind, one of those people might now have a picture of my son. Because we don’t have a backyard.

Theres a splash pad downtown where I live.  It was shut off and my kids were too little but I try to get them outside when its sunny. I try to take them places and give us all some fresh air, a break from our cave.  So I got the double-jogging-stroller and we walked.  I have a stroller for every occasion, my parents think that’s weird.  But when you live in an apartment its necessary.  I always have to pack, and plan, and prepare when I want to go outside. We were walking back to the car from this splash pad, looking out at the water.  A man starts walking toward me.  He has a phone in his hand but I didn’t notice until he took a picture of us.  He told me “You belong in Hollywood”.  I smile and quickly walk toward my car.  He gets into a green truck with branding on the side.  At least this time the kids were bundled in hats and blankets.  They probably weren’t visible in the picture.  Safe.

Once I was at my friends house. She owns her house all by herself.  She is not afraid, ever.  At least I don’t think.  We got out of the car and started walking to her front door when a man on a bicycle rode by really slowly, and stared into our eyes the entire time without saying hi or anything.  When he got to far and had to break the stare, he turned his head around the other way to keep staring as he kept riding his bike.  Eventually he stopped looking.  My friend told me, “Ive never seen anything like that here before”.  I know….its me.  But I digress.

I packed a lot of stuff already.  Each box is labeled with it’s contents and what room of the house the stuff was going to go.  I printed out the dimensions of the house so I could have them with me if I decided to go into home depot and plan.  I planned how I would arrange every room.  I thought about where I would put a Christmas tree, how the tree in the front yard would be perfect for a tire swing. I thought about how cute it would be to put pumpkins outside and what it would be like to take my kids trick or treating without driving them somewhere else.  I thought it would be fun to build a teepee in the backyard for the kids to play in, and what it would be like to actually be able to have bonfires.  Once I dreamt that we pulled up the carpet to reveal hardwood floors, just like in Fixer Upper.  Now that we’re staying I might as well throw away the stuff in the boxes.  I packed almost half of our apartment and we still don’t have any space.

My family could have stayed with us.  There were two rooms in the basement.  One for a guest room and the other for a playroom.  Perfect.  We live 4 hours from our families.  My husband and I both work.  He works a lot more, so im home a lot more.  He has always been good at making friends.  I guess its probably me...I think im nice, friendworthy?  Maybe im too nice.  Either way, I was going to try to convince my mom to live with us in the summer.  Then I would be safe, and have company.

I grew up in a suburban middle-class subdivision.  I played outside with kids in my neighborhood all the time.  I was born in 91, so I am one of the last generations that remembers a time before the internet.  We didn’t even get a VCR until DVD players were a thing.  I loved my childhood.  I had fun. I had a happy and healthy childhood with parents who loved me and a safe, happy home.  I was spoiled for that.  I know now, that is rare.  And that is to be treasured.  And I must do that for my children, as soon as I possibly can.  They are loved, and we laugh, but only inside.

I have to mourn the loss of this home, the memories never to be made.  Painting my kids rooms.  Watching them play in the leaves. Watching them ride their bikes.  Reading books by the fireplace. Picnicking in the backyard.  My kids playing with our neighbors, who are the same age.  Planting a garden.  Going on adventures without going somewhere unfamiliar.  Opening the back door and letting them run.  Just run and run.  I want to let them out and let them run until their little legs get tired.  And then bring them inside for a sandwich.  I feel like Sandra Bullock in Birdbox.  I don’t want to have to tell them to slow down, that they will die because cars are driving by too fast, or people are doing drugs on their balconies, or to tell them they cant play on the sidewalk because the creepy guy above us will linger out there too long.  I have to mourn the loss of my kid’s almost first childhood home. And pray, pray, pray it will come sooner than later.  But hey, at least we have somewhere to live, and to everyone else it’s probably safe.

#anxiety

[adhdusagi]

Princess Tutu episodes 14-end

I watched the entire second half of the series in one day because I make good life choices

Previously on Princess Tutu Watch:

Okay I can get back to Tokyo Mew Mew now

+++++++++++++++++++

It was a lie, I could NOT

EPISODE, UH, FUCK……… 14! - The Raven

asdklsdhflhdl (google docs stop capitalizing my keysmashes) they’re bringing back “once upon a time there was a man who died”!!!!!! Honestly that might be one of my favorite lines in this whole show

Gotta love the sarcasm in “and they lived happily ever after”

The theme song…… it’s so good

Oh nooooooooooooooo

This scene is literally just the “I’ve got a headache that comes and goes” meme

Fakir you complete dork. You’re all dorks

“Princess Tutu and a crocodile are totally different” you tell ‘im, Mytho

Duck speaks so much more regularly than the other main characters? I mean, there’s Fakir over there like “Shall we go?” and Duck saying things like “I’m gonna be late!” and using “like” and “stuff”... I mean, I know this is the dub, but

Duck why are you using Fakir’s dumb excuses omg

Lilie is just the personification of my negative thoughts

BUT WHAT DID MYTHO TELL FAKIR

Awwwwwwww Duck, no

They’re in a terrifying Raven Dimension with like, ominous music and people wailing in the background and meanwhile Kraehe and the Raven are just having like, a normal conversation

Also, are the white feathers supposed to be like, what’s trapping the Raven there?

Duck please

Wait, Princess Tutu transformed on her own!

Episode 15 - Coppelia

Also, watching Fakir try and fail to stop Mytho from jumping out the window is Pain

Lilie you are a Strange Child

STEALTH DUCK RETURNS!

Oh no?? Fakir doesn’t want to get Mytho in trouble???

alsdfksfh the entire student population is Here For The Drama

Duck don’t yell in the library

Fakir just doesn’t make good decisions

Oooh that doesn’t look good

Sad Kraehe Theme Alert

You “just happened” to do a lot of things, Lilie

Omg Lilie “Want to just happen to go see?”

Rue just shows up to trash talk Fakir for a minute and then leaves

I say as if I’m not in So Much Pain

Yeah! Every single time Princess Tutu transformed in the first season, it was because Drosselmeyer said something, but now she’s transforming on her own!

Oh no Mytho

Also I like how Tutu doesn’t just flat-out say “you don’t actually love him” and instead is just like “how about you try doing things you enjoy with the guy you like instead of giving him Your Actual Heart”

Episode 16 - The Maiden’s Prayer

Wait is Angry Narrator back or did the other narrator just regain the heart shard of Withering Scorn?

Lilie isn’t even interested in the love triangle, she just wants Duck and Pike to fight

Is that Goatette

“So pretty…. What? Oh yeah I meant the flowers of course haha” Duck

Such a serious child

“Love only me, hate everyone else”/“The prince who loves me and me alone”

This child is amazing

It was such a good decision to give Fakir a little sister. A good decision for everyone involved

aslfsdjhklgdlghdjghfdklkdkalh Kraehe told him that Duck would suffer if she knew what was happening with Mytho so Fakir isn’t going to tell herrrrrrrrrr Fakir please don’t internalize that!! You are breaking my heart sir

Oh my god it wasn’t Goatette it was the sloth

*The Can Can plays loudly over a sloth just kinda hangin out*

Episode 17 - Crime and Punishment

This may or may not have been the last episode I watched the first time I watched this show?

“Eyes of truth” huh?

This dumbass child

Femio, from the other side of the school grounds: “DID SOMEBODY SAY ‘PRINCE’????”

What the Fuck are you doing with your hands, kid

Why are you a cow

Honestly as over-the-top as Femio is he is also simultaneously the most realistic middle-schooler in this entire show

Oh my god he’s on probation

I’m sorry I’m just talking about Femio but he’s hilarious

Truly a Grade A Idiot

What is he even doing with his life

I’ve become Lilie

These characters have emotional crises over people saying the stupidest things and tbh I relate to that

Oh dear!

The thing is, Femio would be really annoying in real life, but in a tv show he’s just amusing

Rue’s FACE, she’s so done

I like how Duck can tell which building Rue’s in just by the amount of crows around it

Tbh all the students probably have noticed what’s going on, they just think it’s some kind of weird performance art thing. Wouldn’t be out of character for this school

Fakir and Uzura really are siblings, I love this

The best part about this episode is it’s this completely ridiculous person unintentionally getting in the middle of everybody’s emotional issues

“I feel kinda like something happened, and kinda like it didn’t” Duck you are absolutely correct

And of course the Aquarium is good once again

Episode 18 - The Wandering Knight

Incidentally, how old are these kiddos? We know Mytho is older than Duck, so Fakir and Rue probably are too?? But like, probably only by a year? Who even knows what their actual ages are

I mean, Duck is a duck so

It’s! The trees from the opening!

I don’t know if I’ve asked this before, but why does Fakir have a horse?

Oh my god Lilie

Can everybody STOP picking on Fakir for being afraid to die? He is 14, leave him alone

Ahiru is trying so hard to be helpful, give her a chance Fakir

Once again Rue shows up to get in a burn on Fakir and then leave

I swear every time the Aquarium plays in this show

Oh noooooooo Ruuuuueeeeeeee

Literally Protect All Of These Characters

Save These Children From Their Own Emotional Issues

FAKIR PLEASE

Pride is absolutely the worst feeling Mytho could get back right now?

“There’s something sinister going on that I’m not a part of!” And that really gets to you doesn’t it Dross. I bet it’s really… grinding your gears!!!

(why do I feel so proud of insulting a fictional character)

Episode 19 - A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Wow we really are starting this one off on a sinister note (it’s Drosselmeyer’s revenge on me for that pun)

Of course he can’t tell you, he doesn’t fuckin know what’s going on

Fakir please stop basing your entire identity around being a knight

Oh no, Mytho’s regained the heart shard of Basing Your Entire Identity Around Upholding A Role

I wonder if Hermia being tall is like, a meta Shakespeare joke, cause in the play Helena’s really tall and Hermia’s really short, but in every production I’ve seen it was the other way around

Rue stop projecting your insecurities onto your boyfriend

Ohhhhhhhh dear

Finally someone tells all the crows hanging around to shut up

Oh my god she really is super tall

Or Ahiru’s just super short

I am learning so much about ballet mimes

Cool bird shadows

Whoa, different raven background. And the Raven isn’t speaking with him this time? What does it mean

On no, Tutu

Hahaha oh no

Aaahaha they’re the same

THEY EVEN DO THE SAME ARM-FLAILY THING

Episode 20 - The Forgotten Story

ALRIGHT, TIME FOR THE FAKIR’S SAD BACKSTORY EPISODE

Raetzel: *walks in*

Uzura: And where do you fit in the shipping chart, ma’am

THIS is a High Quality Directatorial Decision

Oh no Duck. oh no she’s so earnest nooooo

It is just Extremely Wrong to see Mytho dancing to something besides Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

Mr. Cat can hear the word “wedding” from three floors up

Oh my GOD they put broken heart stickers on the window

I mean, I say they but we all know it was Lilie

Again, Duck knows exactly where shit’s going down just because that’s where all the crows are

Oh no!

Everybody needs to stop giving Fakir shit Right Now. Everybody needs to stop thinking it’s a bad thing that Fakir didn’t fucking Die, and that includes Fakir OKAY????

I’ve been thinking… Raven Mytho keeps saying things like “people only want love because they want to be loved” and I wonder… if that was sort of his experience as a prince. Or maybe I’m just getting this mixed up with Utena lol. But it does seem like a genuine issue he has as opposed to just something he says to manipulate people. Hm.

Episode 21 - The Spinners

Every time the narrator says “once upon a time there was a man who died” I Will Flip

Duck tries to lean nonchalantly against a door, it goes about how you’d expect

Duck that’s not how writing works (ughgfjdghskjkgf my pain)

AW NO

Oh no Duck is too relatable

UUAAAAAA TREE GHOST TREE GHOST

“Follow my every order and be prepared to die if you should fail” it’s almost like you WANT me to hate you. FAKIR DOESN’T NEED THIS

See Duck agrees with me

PETITION FOR PEOPLE TO LEAVE FAKIR THE FUCK ALONE THAT MEANS YOU TREE GHOST

Ohshit it’s that old guy from the bookshop???

Uzura is NOT “unrelated”, obviously she is Fakir’s baby sister

“I’m just watching again” oh no Duck

Autor what the Fresh Heck are you doing to Fakir

YOU ARE NOT FINE?????????

Honestly Fakir needs to get in touch with his emotions, not get sleep deprived and hallucinate in a field

This tree is saying things Edel said??? Was Edel made from the wood of this tree?????? Oh my god???????????

Anyway that was Intense

Listen, Raven Mytho has real issues and you can fight me on this

Ah, I see Dross is practicing the time-honored authorial tradition of “If the Story Isn’t Working, Hit It With a Wrench”

Episode 22 - Crown of Stone

But who’s going to protect Fakir huh? Answer me that, Duck

One big-ish happy familyyyyyyyyy

I needed this life advice tbh

Aaaaaah Uzura’s talking to Rue!

“Are you the Rue we’re worried about?” I love how she just included herself in that

Autor, I’m……. not sure you want the tree ghost cult to acknowledge you

Uhm, I’m pretty sure Autor doesn’t fit into the shipping chart and I think Uzura would agree with me

Ah fuck!!! Fakir turn around

Wait it’s an owl on a grandfather clock?? Is that actually a thing? These watchnotes are coming full circle

“I want people to love me, but is it okay to just be loved?” yep, the prince is having issues

Autor, I’m pretty sure Ahiru is figuring all that out right now

And like, the Book Men totally know it too, so

HOLY CRAP THIS SEQUENCE

AND THE MUSIC THE MUSIC IS PERFECT

SKLAFDJKVHFJK;JKLSdf;DSLKJFAKSDAKFJHFKLJJFGKLHGJFHSDLJ

I love this show

EPISODE 23 - Marionette

OH! OH! IT’S THE MUSIC EDEL ALWAYS PLAYED BUT SPED UP! That’s actually kinda creepy!

Anyway now I know why I’m so protective of Fakir, we’re both writers who can’t write anything

Oh noooooooooooo Rue

Oooooooooooh don’t like that

Ruuueeeeeeeeee please don’t stab your boyfriend we’ve been over this

Incidentally, hulu needs to quit it with these bogus commercial placements

Drosselmeyer: How dare you try to resolve your emotional problems!

Dross that’s called character development

Hahahaha joke’s on you Dross!

aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I! LOVE! THEM!

No of course your heart is lovey-dovey Uzura! Your heart is the lovey-dovey-est!!!

Incidentally, Autor is That Guy who says just because you haven’t finished/published anything you’re not a Real Writer. And he is Wrong

Episode 24 - The Prince and the Raven

Okay, just from this title I know I won’t be able to handle this

THIS ISN’T EVEN THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE

YOU ARE HITTING ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE I CANNOT BELIEVE

Okay but and then this story explains all of Raven Mytho’s emotional issues as well???

*sigh* Autor……. Fakir literally just told you his motivation is to protect people and you’re still going on about controlling the fates of all mankind… are you sure you’re not Drosselmeyer’s direct descendent?

Rue don’t go into the crow building

Honestly I’m still dying over the fact that you can tell where things are happening purely based on which building all the crows are at today

Tiny Rue is breaking my heart

UUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TINY RUE IS DOING BALLET

Omg Rue in the beginner’s class!

Oh noooo Uzura’s saaaaad

I KNOW I’ve heard this songgggggggg

THAT WAS A BIT OF THE FOSSILS FROM CARNIVAL OF THE ANIMALS???

Okayokayokay so it’s not Carnival of the Animals but DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS it’s another piece by Saint-Saens and DO YOU KNOW what that piece is called????? fuckin Danse Macabre!!!!! I am immediately filled with a sense of foreboding!!!

The music choices in this show are going to destroy me one day

HOLY CRAP????

I can’t believe so goddamn much happened in this episode???

Episode 25 - The Dying Swan

I’m not rrrrrrrrreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Not even the narrator’s obvious disappointment in Drosselmeyer can give me solace

Oh my god so is the Drosselmeyer we know just a character in Dead Drosselmeyer’s story?

I think it’s a testament to this story’s power that I’m having so many emotions about it even though I know what’s going to happen? Like, some stories, reading the summary is pretty much the same as hearing the story, but Princess Tutu is not one of those stories

Like I just overcame my social anxiety to ask my roommate to be quieter, that’s how good this story is

Aaaaaagh Rue’s change from saying “you love me” to saying “I love you” my HEART

Oh shoot! Mytho’s angry! I thought one of the gate heart shards might be anger

Oh my god Autor literally no one cares what TEA Drosselmeyer drank look at Fakir he’s so done

Aaaaaaaa ohno

EVISCERATE HIM FAKIR

Holyshitholyshitholyshit

Okay but see the lake is outside the city so Dross just took some random normal duck and plunked her down in his fairytale town and that’s why like, a cat teacher seems weird to her because she’s not from inside the story

OH NO THEY’RE PLAYING THE SWAN BUT THIS TIME IT’S RUE

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr fuck OFFFFFF

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s the sword birds

excUSE you Dross, the knight has NOT “long been useless”

Episode 26 - Finale

I can’t believe after 9 years I’m finally going to finish watching this show

Okay it’s happening

It begins and ends with “once upon a time, there was a man who died”, the absolute most perfect first line in the history of first lines and you can fight me on this

Okay I’m already almost crying just from the theme song, like the Tchaikovsky fits perfectly into it? I’m gonna sing it

I’m just screaming???? They’re all in distress

BUT DUCK IS NOT GOING TO GIVE IN TO DISTRESS

RUE IS THE SWAN

DUCK DECIDES TO WRITE HER OWN STORY AND THE MUSIC FROM THE END OF THE THEME SONG STARTS PLAYING MY HEART

I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

IT’S ALL THE PEOPLE SHE HELPED

THEY ARE PLAYING THE THEME THAT PLAYS WHEN DUCK IS HAPPY

FUCKING -- AND YOU HIT ME WITH ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO DIED NOW

LOOK! LOOK THE SCENERY OUTSIDE THE TOWN FADES IN

I watched it.

#princess tutu watch #i still cannot believe

[keezree]

wizardmon is the saddest digimon and other ramblings

so  i rarely post about stuff on tumblr, usually i just reblog about whatever but hey, here i am and you know what? wizardmon. i am super emotional about wizardmon. He’s a character from digimon in case that wasn’t obvious. he briefly appears in the adventure 01 anime only to have a small flash back to show his relevance to the character tailmon/gatomon depending on if sub/dub. He was such a short lived character and had such a big impact on the story. (some spoilers ahead but digimon is hella old so :v whatever) he essentially gave up his life for his friend who had lost her way, sticking by her side the whole time, hoping that one day she would remember what she wanted to do in life, what she was meant to do in life. after doing all he could to help her, he jumps in front of vamdemons/myotismons attack to protect her. he pushed himself, even when he was half drowned, half alive, he kept going. Digimon has a very poor habit of making a truly inspirational character and just killing them off. another great example of this is leomon. if theres a digimon anime it’s probably going to involve leomon dying at some point.  but anyway, this is about wizardmon. He reappears in 02 only to warn tailmon/gatomon about the next great danger they would face then is gone. everyone is sad again and wizardmon is simply left to be a ghost forever sad and distant in the tv station.  HOWEVER, when reading the comic digimon xros wars, there is a tailmon who reveals that she is the same one from 01/02. there is a wizardmon who accompanies her through the story and it’s kind of nostalgic like, oh man, she must be so sad to be with this wizardmon,remembering her old friend. but they seem so familiar? that’s because he IS the very same wizardmon. at the end of the xros wars comic, tailmon walks away with that stick-with-belongings-wrapped-in-a-handkerchief-slung-over-her-shoulder trope, sighing aloud claiming how she was annoyed with how she’d have to go find his data again. with digimon, when they are destroyed or die, they do not die forever. their data is scattered and absorbed back into the digital world, reassembled and brought back as a digi egg, only to start the cycle all over again, retaining their memories. so, death isn’t such a finite thing in the digital world for digimon. they have something equivalent to a soul called a digi core. so long as this exists, they will be reassembled. wizardmon was not reabsorbed however. his data was scattered all over and sometime before the xros wars arc takes place, tailmon scoured the digital world (and potentially the human world) collected his data and reassembled him herself.  why is it that he wasn’t reabsorbed? some argue that it’s because he died in the human world and this is probably what is the more likely case, but according to the digimon light novel, wizardmon is NOT initially from the digital world.  wizardmon hails from a place called witchelny. in witchely, there was a particular forbidden book that no one was allowed to read. However wizardmon being as curious as he is reads it because he just simply can’t resist. because of this he is banished from his world to? the digital world! *tumpets while crying* (just let my wizard husband/child be allowed to read god damn it) (What really gets me is that in the light novel, he has an omen of his own death. he knows he’s going to die in the human world the second that he and the others in vamdemons/myotismons army enter it.)   when he makes it to the digital world his physical form is altered, his data is changed and he can no longer go back home.  because the digital world is not his original home, it could not recognize and reabsorb his data to reconfigure him and so his data was simply scattered, floating here and there. (I like to imagine it as his hat or his staff or a shred of his cape clinging to a tree or perhaps it literally was his raw data floating in a cluster somewhere) however she found him again, she found him. and put him back together. her friend who was starved, newly turned digimon who killed himself not knowing if he would die or be brought back as an egg, reunited.  this whole story arc, this bond, this friendship between these two digimon make me feel so many awful yet amazing things.  when wizardmon dies, his words to tailmon are “I’m glad i got to meet you” he must have been super depressed about all that had happened in his life.  ousted from his home in witchelny, ignored and left to die in the digital world because he was an outsider and saved by a digimon who didn’t know how important she would be one day, numbly serving a selfish vampire demon guy because he made her feel so low and worthless, physically beating her into submission. and all wizardmon wanted to to was make her realize her worth again.  when wizardmon entered the digital world, after seeing his own death omen, realizing that all of this meant nothing, he threw all he could into helping this one digimon who helped him. these two desperately needed each other. wizardmon to have someone accept him for who he is and to care for him and tailmon to have someone make her believe in herself again.  while supporting tailmon, while he was alone up until his final moments, i don’t think wizardmon was in a very good headspace.  while it was passed off as a joke, when picodevimon/demidevimon encounter wizardmon in the woods he’s got booze on him. he of coursed used it to hide the fact he found hikari/karis crest but was he boozing it up to spend his last days numb? did he use his magic to conjure up a bottle??? regardless i am still sad????  anime???? in any case, much later when wizardmon is alive and i can feel my soul again, in the xros wars comics, wizardmon treats every single person and digimon he meets with great respect and kindness. when we see him in the anime initially he is only there to be sad and help tailmon. with the time we don’t see before the comic takes place i think being with tailmon helped him to feel kindness and love again. in the english version wizardmon says to tailmon that she made him “realize that all creatures have good inside them.” i think he really took it to heart and regardless of if they are an enemy or seem like another is going to be troublesome, wizardmon will still be as polite as he can be with them until he has to lay the shit down.  so yes, good happy ending for my wizard and cat child. the end. yes so ok good bye. wizardmon okay?

#digimon #wizardmon #wizardmon and tailmon #xros wars #digimon adventure

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

I watched another film and wrote about it. Not a horror this time, more of a fantasy film but some definite weird/horror visuals in parts Troll

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. I was recommended to watch TROLL 2 as a horror and thought TROLL 1 would need to be watched first. Turns out they're completely unrelated but whatever, TROLL is an 80s fantasy film, but dark in its own way as we will see... Slow zoom into a book, sitting alone and light up from light through a stained-glass window. Could this film be anymore 80′s? The book opens and no-one's touched it! What a surprise... The moving company is called Starving Students, what a nice cheery company. I don't know if that's an actual company name or the directors real life situation. Dad drives off and leaves the family to load in the boxes and do the heavy lifting. Typical male avoiding hardwork, although I do like that the mum is doing all the heavy lifting Ignored daughter with the sickeningly sweet blonde hair and bunches has to chase her ball... she gonna dieeee! Yeah, disembodied hairy arm has now grabbed her-so long dear! The troll is small and hairy, doesn't look like he'd be much of a threat to people trying to cross a bridge Lovely weird green light - state of the art special effects here. Oh look the trolls now turned into the girl, I wonder if he knows enough about human anatomy to have thought this plan through? Or being a troll instead of human, will he not need to use the toilet? The brother is now looking for Wendy (the girl) and asks if she's been playing with dead cats? Like, why is that a valid question? Seems like the real Wendy was into some pretty freaky stuff even before this film Troll knows enough about English to carry on full conversations with the parents but can't eat properly Kids run out and suddenly they're running  downstairs instead, they go out the front door and then coming back downstairs again - what Euclid geometry is in this building anyway Guys upstairs says he's into swinging...I don't know why you would mention that when meeting new neighbours Also they're having a full conversation while the fire alarm is going off, like ok there might be a fire but moaning about kids is definitely what you should be doing right now Dad is called Harry Potter...shame they didn't trademark that... Everyone seems to think this is a false alarm but how do they know? So lucky they're not getting burned right now. Dad is being slagged for being able to read, what a strange attitude for people who are literally in a book. Troll is trashing the place, tries to bite dad and still hasn't been controlled. Supernanny would have a lot to say about these parenting techniques Oh she was playing Godzilla, how does the troll know who godzilla is? Does he have access to Wendys memories because he now looks like her, or was horrible troll this up-to-date with pop culture? Breakfast scene in the morning was obviously filmed in the evening judging by the light coming in through the window Troll knows enough to dress himself as a little girl at least. Troll throws the brother at the wall and he can't admit it to his parents because the unrealistic and sexist pressures put on him by society wont allow him to admit he was beaten up by (what he thinks was) a girl Swinger from upstairs is a sexist alcoholic, oh dear how predictable. Troll has stabbed swingerman with his ring and now he's bleeding, swelling up and turinging green. I really hope people didn't think this was a kids movie cause that would cause serious nightmares Ah, he's turned into a plant. Troll is just trying to counteract global warming by turning pollutive humans into foliage. Now theres baby trolls and creatures coming out of this plantlike mess...are they his children? or did he turn the man into them?? this is so confusing Old lady has a weird singing mushroom type thing in her apartment on the top floor-she's obviously friends with the troll and the reason why the troll chose to live in their building specifically Boy casually accuses old woman he's just met of stealing. She seems to accept this with no indignation at all. Jr is oversharing with random old woman - no get out run away she's mixed up in it all! Having turned someone into a plant troll is now back to looking like Wendy and playing ball in the middle of the road Troll knows about godzilla but seems really confused at a taxi. Saved by a dwarf who I'm pretty sure was only written in to show how weird this film is. I hope he was paid well for this farce. Ex-marine across the hall is looking at maps on a pool table while holding a baseball bat, there's guns and trophy heads on the wall. It's like someone searched for "manly man" and filled the apartment with everything that came up on google "I've stared death in the face" "what does it look like?" What a very important question. Seems like in the 80s people cared less about where their five year old little girls were, stranger danger and parental responsibility obviously weren't a thing back then. Marine man is now also a plant that spawns weird creatures. "Harry fell down, I just don't understand any of this." Listen hen as far as you know your son just fell down-simple as. It's the audience that don't really understand this weird fucking film! Parents keep talking about the girls "little friend" and its the dwarf from earlier-100% written in so the mum could offer a 30yr old dwarf a glass of chocolate milk. Dwarf is at dinner apparently so he can recite a poem from memory, because why else would your daughter invite a 30ish english professor to dinner? Weird plantspawn creatures in the other apartments are singing to the tune of the poem...because reasons. Old womans mushroom tree thing with eyes is joining in - I knew she was part of it! Their song lyrics seem in consist of random syllables but I'm sure I heard "ebola" in their somewhere... Old woman looks creeped out, like you had the weird mushroom thing in your living room what did you think would happen? Jr is watching tv in his bed where apparently everyones pets are being turned into 'Pod Person From The Planet Mars'. Is this trying to tell us the trolls are aliens...? Another breakfast scene filmed in evening lightening... I wonder how the mushroom feels having a lampshade dumped on it everytime someone visits this old woman "Why are you here?... You're different?... It's not normal?" Jr is a cheeky shit to this old woman and is forgetting whose house he is in, and who is the only friend he has so far. Old woman used to be a princess but is now a witch, ok why not I'm sure there's a reason for this somewhere Troll-wendy knocking on a door and womans like "I have to get changed, you can stay here if you want" like NO BITCH get that creepy girl out of your house! Another apartments occupant turned into plants-although giving birth to a humanlooking female instead of more trolls now. Mushroom has followed Jr and old woman to the kitchen, how? Did it hop in its plant pot? Can it walk? Bf comes to meet the last person turned to a plant - DONT TRUST HER SHE WAS BORN TWO MINUTES AGO FROM A PLANT! Chase through the jungle in the apartment and now they're outside and there's four women for some reason... Troll is there back to looking like a troll, sorry dude he has stole your girl! Wherever this girl goes people keep offering her juice to drink. The 80s was obviously more trusting of adults, and adults were more friendly to weird kids showing up on their doorstep. Trollwendy looks upset that the dwarf is going to die, like he hasnt been killing people randomly all week. Michael (dwarfs) story is giving a real normal insight into the struggle of someone born with dwarfism, completely unexpected from this film. Nope, trollwendy is over it and looks like Michaels getting turned into a plant now. Didn't think that seriousness would last long Old woman knocking on doors with a golden spear like she's gonna fight the whole close. I wonder what she'd say if one of her neighbours actually did answer? "its the weekend" "do you know what day they dropped the bomb on hiroshima?" "a weekend, maybe?" I wonder who the hell wrote that and what were they smoking at the time? Harry Sr says the woman upstairs is the wicked witch of the west, very nice to slag off your sons only friend right in front of him. Wasnt that when you let Jr go to hers for breakfast! Jr is repeating lines from his Pod People tv show and Sr asks if his wife did drugs? Like his weird behaviour couldnt come from your side of the family? Or from an uncaring and inconsiderate father and the whole family moving house? Golden spear actually shoots lightening at troll creatures, who knew? Plants are taking over the hallway but when Jr gets to old womans house he neglects to mention the impending doom and just has some hot chocolate. "Before there were countries there was just one place with humans and faries" So, pangea? I didn't know they had faries. Geography would've been a lot more interesting if they'd told us that. Old woman was in love with a prince, prince fought with the fairies against humans, humans won, prince got turned into the troll. Apparently by taking over the whole building its actually a fairy universe and will burst forth and troll will have taken over the world... I think that's what she's trying to say? Why conquer countries all you need is a shitty apartment block! Also real wendy is still alive because the troll wants her to be a fairy princess, six year old and evil thousands of year old troll, real creepy arranged marriage Troll only has three days to take over the building-he's doing quite good he only has two appartments left. Troll has "always been melodramatic" apparently. Nah I think it's this acting and weird plot that's all melodramatic. Old woman unpins her hair and suddenly she's 50 years younger, it's true-a new hairdo can make you look different. Jr says he's waiting for a stray dragon, Sr doesn't ask where he got the large golden spear from. Old woman is now a talking tree stump after facing the troll, and her appartment now leads outside too "What is going on out there?" "I dont know but I'm listening to the tree" wise words Sr, wise words Troll stabbed his own monster to save the six year old, because apparently he cant find another blonde girl to be his princess. Well that was lucky but very stupid of him Family are now moving again but this time they just have a suitcase each, no moving vans this time somehow? Also that was the quickest packing I've seen I think that's stupid anyway, what's the chances a troll is gonna try and take over that exact same building in the future? That buildings probably the safest one cause if he tries again it'll be somewhere different. Police man tells them where the station is to make a statement - but they're not being arrested and I'm not sure what crime they think has been comitted? Ok so I was wrong, the laundry room is still a jungle and troll is killing policeman. Maybe a good idea to move.

#me #personal #film #Troll #liveblog #review #very 80s