#theres so much pure and whole hearted love between and it HURTS knowing whats going to happen

[darealsaltysam]

I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT

below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this

oh my god okay okay where do i even start

opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up

watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok

this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!

i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis

arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie

but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.

i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.

the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this

OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD

jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed

the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH

all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!

once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it

the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that

okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT

FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER

stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET

just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT

when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.

the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd

GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.

dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.

and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell

speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing

what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah

special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast

WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL

the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS

a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!

anyway. back to the horrors.

i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP

i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me

chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!

SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING

TIMOTHEE

FUCKING

CHALAMET

listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.

he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing

paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting

like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different

what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!

also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg

when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us

also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore

have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her

okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive

chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much

THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL

THE WORMS

THE SENSE OF SCALE

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME

THE SOUND

EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL

the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell

every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis

gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3

the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall

i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell

i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO YALL

THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK

THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!

THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start

okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys

paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around

i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more

i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?

but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.

oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.

theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point

another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!

this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani

chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"

i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.

sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3

#dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #paul atreides #chani kynes #jessica atreides #feyd rautha #feyd rautha harkonnen #rabban harkonnen #vladimir harkonnen #stilgar #alia atreides #irulan corrino #im so crazy im so feral holy shit #okay im going to bed now #its 1 am lmao #ive been writing these down for like 2 hours since i got back

[urmomschocolatemilk]

part 2 to the break up angst. not even asking, bae i need it 😡

Simon Riley x reader

Part 1

A happy ending bc im feeling generous 😘

You wake up to warmth streaming through the open window, the quiet hum of the fan in the background. As your eyes flutter open theres a single moment of pure peace, where your mind is blank and the only thing your concerned with is the comfort of your bedsheets and pillows. That only lasts a moment though, and the events of the night before come flooding back to you.  

You remember calling Simon in tears, you remember the sound of his voice ruff voiceas he’d let himself in and got in bed with you, cooing sweet nothings into your ear as you sobbed into his chest. You remember the feel of his arms wrapped around you and the warmth he brought to you that you’d missed so much.  

You turned over, part of you expected to see him, the other part of you knew he was probably gone. The other side of the bed was empty, as expected, and you huffed, partly in frustration, and partly in hurt. You pushed yourself up with a groan, throwing off the covers and walking towards your door. As you neared you could hear some shuffling in the kitchen. You frowned  

He had left, hadn't he? So, who was out there? You pulled the door to your bedroom open, walking into the merged living and kitchen space. As you turned you spotted him behind the island, his tall broad frame working on something infront of the stove. It smelled amazing. 

“Simon?” You questioned, walking closer, he looked up with a hum. “I thought you’d left...” you tell him confused. 

“I didn’t want you to wake up to an empty house...” he responded in a gruff voice, focusing back on the eggs he was cooking. You took a seat at the island and he turned his back to you, opening the microwave door and taking out a warm plate. His back muscles flexed a bit as he moved, and you blushed lightly, averting your gaze down to the counter top. He slid you the plate, placing a fork next to it.  

“Thanks,” you mumbled, starting to dig in. There was an awkward tension between the two of you as he finished cooking his breakfast and plated it. You knew you had to talk about it, but you didn’t want to be the one to start...confrontation was more of Simons style anyway.  

“Are we going to talk about it?” he asked quietly, pushing around the food on his plate. You stay quiet, and he looks at you, waiting for your answer.  

“Depends on what you’re going to say,” you respond after a moment, your volume matching his. He grunts, pursing his lips.  

“I still think it was the right thing to do,” he states, and you raise your eyebrows, but don’t respond. You don’t understand how he can even see that; did he not see how much he broke you? “But,” he starts, his voice softening “I miss you.”  

“I thought you were the one Simon...I-I was ready to marry you,” you suck in a sharp breath, “you broke my heart Simon,” you whisper to him. He slides his hand over the counter, taking yours.  

“I know...and I regret it so much. If I could take it all back I would,” he tells you sincerely. Finally, you look up from your plate.  

“But you can't,” it’s a fact 

“I’ll do anything – everything – to make it up to you.” His eyes searching yours as he pleads with you. He’s never like this, and you almost feel like you’re talking to a whole other person. You bite your lip, contemplating, and the silence is to quiet as he waits for your answer.  

After what feels like an eternity, you finally speak up, “Okay...” you whisper “Okay.” He comes around the counter, taking your face in his hands and kissing you deeply, pouring all the love and adoration in the world into the gesture.  

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling away and pressing a soft kiss to your head. You just nod wordlessly, pressing your head against his chest and wrapping your arms around him as he pulls you close.  

#urmomschocolatemilk #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #call of duty #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #x reader #141 x reader #ghost x reader #modern warfare 2

[onwriting-hrarby]

theres so many good things i could say about sunshine and rainbows honestly its so hard to pick a favourite part!! but for me, i really really loved when it was the performance night at the end, and we watched it in erens pov. like legit my heart fluttered at the way the author wrote it, i could truly honestly feel how high up against the world mikasa is seen by eren, the genuine way his whole heart and soul believes her to be his only goddess. that particular scene the way it was decribed and executed was so magical to me. they’re two very different scenes, but that scene had as much impact and magic on me as that scene in “instead they said” where em makes love in the sea!! so incredible so much depth and beauty. i literally held my breath youre so good

but i think the angst as sad as it was really was what kept me hooked to sunshine and rainbow. i legit felt like i was torturing myself reading mikasas pov after she caught eren and hisu. legit tears in my eyes and my heart ached so baaad. that level of insecurity and feeling of inadequacy mikasa felt had felt so horrible even to me as a reader. theres just something so vile in the feeling of betrayal and jealousy and how it eats on your skin. (tbh i looooove reading that in em fanfics, it hurts so bad but its such good angst😩 idk why i keep torturing myself)

but yeah same here, i wouldve probably reacted like sasha, it was actually hard for me to empathise with hisu even because in earlier chapters she wasnt really that nice to mikasa. i believe sunshine and rainbows mikasa is an actually whole saint to have sympathised and requested eren to go talk and apologise to hisu, not sure if i wouldve done that myself no ones built like mikasa lol. but yeah i do commend the way the author had somewhat villainize historia (in a writing perspective) where its hard to completely empathise with this character knowing what shes like in other scenes. now that i think about it, her flawed character reminds me of RJ historia where we cant fully empathise with her because she had some inherent racism herself right? like the way she viewed RJ mikasa or compared her struggle to poc’s and minorities. its like a hate love relationship between us and its characters. i love love love it when writers really make you think about how you feel about a character

sorry im rabbling, please stop me if you dont feel comfortable!!

Oh please, not at all, I love rambling AND i love interacting, so feel free!

You're completely right about Mikasa's pov after cheating!!! I had forgotten about that chapter and I really liked the way the author relied on just one sentence that Mikasa kept repeating to ensure that angst and confusion. I've never been in a cheatin situation but I have felt the inequacy of being you multiple times, and it hit hard. I could empathize with Mikasa much more than with Eren in that fic, mostly because I am tired of the "I'm so hurt I'm not a good person" narrative. I've had some friends who went through something similar to Eren, and they kind of passed their bad behaviour through hurt. But for me, there are no excuses to hurt others. I did empatize with Historia, though! I have been in competitive groups like dancing and that kind of relationships exists, and the way it was portrayed it felt very real that H and M wouldn't have had a good relationship because Historia feels threatened. I don't feel that Mikasa was a saint, though, because the cheating was Eren's fault, not Historia!

Yes, it's a hate-love relationship with our characters snd the way we craft them, and I think that' the beauty of not creating purely good characters or people. We humans are not pure at all! We might want good things but we also hurt a lot. It's complicated to manage expectation as readers, too! But those kind of stories that made us feel all wrong are the best because we get to go deep inside a character enough to be willing to understand them, while we would have turned the other way in real life.

(Ps: thank you very much for your nice words about Rj and ITS! I can't believe someone remembers that fic. I am torn about uploading it again but I want my sis to read it before so I know whether to turn it into a novel or not!)

[di-kutla]

The RotS novel is really out to crush my heart and emotions before I even get 100 pages in, isn't it

#carif.txt #im finally trying to make time in my busy work schedule to read the sw books i bought #and GOD #just. just FUCK the amount of love and trust shared between obi wan and anakin KILLS ME #whether you view them as romantic or platonic they just. #theres so much pure and whole hearted love between and it HURTS knowing whats going to happen #and thinking that -for obi wan- that love he has for anakin has never once wavered #even after the siege on the temple and after mustafar #obi wan still has so much love for anakin #and okay god the kenobi series is gonna kill me and i cant wait for it bc like #i keep thinking to how anakin keeps getting all these chances to turn back to the light #these opportunities keep coming to him and he HAS been shown that the people who once loved him do still love him #theyre still willing - WANTING - to give him a chance and they refuse to give up on him #and thinking about that scene from rebels where ahsoka fights him at that sith temple #and when his mask breaks its clearly no longer both the physical and metaphorical mask that anakin hides behind #its anakin there - exposed like a vulnerable nerve - but hes there at the forefront and you can see his hesitation to ahsoka's offer #there has to be a part of him that truly wants to walk the path of the light again but staying in the dark is his own punishment to himself #and I just realy hope theres going to be a scene like that in the kenobi series #where they meet and obi wan shows that he still loves anakin despite of everything #and he gives anakin the offer that its not too late there is still good in you. i can see it - so can padme #im just. sobs #im emotional over them this morning apparently help

[peachiimilquetea]

something angsty with tenya leaving fem reader for the event? ty! prompt: “you can’t leave me. i don’t know how to survive without you.”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” + tenya iida

a/n: bro… i don’t really like angst without the potential for a somewhat happy ending so i hope you’re ok with the fact that it’s not completely sad. i did pull on the heartstrings quite a bit tho, i hope you enjoy! check out the event here

contains: angst (obviously), iida being heavily influenced by his family, tensei to the rescue lowkey, crying, insecurities, mentions of alcohol, ambiguous ending, miscommunication

length: 2.0k

at first things had started off small.

iida worked long hours as the work of his brother’s hero agency fell on his shoulders. he tried his best to make time for you, but it always felt like your schedules could never line up just right.

you tried to work something out, quick calls on break times and cute messages around the house to remind you of one another, but most efforts fell flat.

then things started to get worse.

long and empty nights were spent building up resentment towards the man you had married. he was always doing something, something that took precedence over the vows you made when you walked down the isle no more than three years ago.

you knew his family didn’t like you that much, feeling that a marriage for love was a waste of such a powerful commitment. a commitment that could built them an empire, and boost the rank of their hero agency, solidifying a legacy for them.

tenya defied them for you, boldly declaring that he would marry whoever he wanted and that you were in it for the long haul. you were the girl of his dreams, he said, and anything that got in the way of his happiness was not something he would subscribe to. that only made them hate you more.

so when his texts of encouragement grew shorter and more sparse, and he began to have more special responsibilities bestowed upon him by none other than his father, you knew it was on purpose.

unfortunately, it was an effective strategy to chip away at a young and unseasoned marriage.

“tenya can you please just check your schedule? i really want to spend more time with you.”

he sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat in his office. why were you bothering him with something so insignificant? you knew how important this transition of power was for the iida family, for the legacy of ingenium, but you still persisted.

he could feel the anger beginning to build until he looked in your eyes and saw the sadness brimming in them. his heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you, his wife, plead with him to spend time together. when had things come to this?

“i’ll try my best, but i cant promise anything.”

at this point, that was better than anything you could’ve hoped for.

with a kiss to his forehead you left him alone to get the heaps of paperwork he had to do, spirits lifted at the prospect of spending time with him again. just like the way it used to be.

you checked the time on the microwave for the 9th time. fifty-seven minutes had passed and your husband was officially late.

you should have seen it coming really, empty promises were becoming more and more common amongst the two of you. he would promise to try harder and you would promise to cut him more slack, the constant push and pull never being enough for either party.

getting up from the barstool at your kitchen island you made your way to the wine cooler to get a drink. not even bothering to pick up a glass you slumped on the couch, kicking off your shoes and splaying yourself out, just wanting the cushions to swallow you whole and dull the aching in your heart.

he wasn’t coming.

he was never coming.

you laid passed out on the couch when iida finally came home 2 hours later. he was only stopping by for a quick break, then going back out on patrol and he completely forgot about the things he said, smiling through tired eyes as he thought, this time i’ll make it up to her.

at the very least he could clean you up and tuck you in. he could brace himself for the impending fight later, but he was concerned about you. you never drank, not unless there was something wrong.

iida easily hoisted you up over his shoulder, discarding the various wine bottles and taking you to your shared room, although he wasn't sure if it was still considered shared anymore.

he laid you on the bed softly, changing you into one of his old shirts. his fingers ghosted over your cheek as he watched you sleep, the reality of where he was sitting heavy on his heart.

he loved you and yet there was nothing he could do to help at this moment. he had to leave for night patrol. he had to leave you.

his gentle touches roused you from your sleep and your eyes felt heavy as you tried to blink them open.

“you came?” you breathed, voice sounding foreign even to yourself.

iida gave you a small smile, “im sorry.”

your demeanor did a 180 at his apology. he was sorry. he was always sorry. but sorry couldn’t fix this. not when it had been so broken.

you winced and sat up, “sorry for what? sorry that you broke your promise for the thousandth time or sorry that you’ve been such a shit husband for the past few months?!”

“______-”

“no tenya. you do this every single time! every time i want to spend time with you theres always something more important! what could be more important than your wife?!”

“______ you know my father-”

you laughed bitterly at the mention of his dad. he always had to be such a good little iida child, always on daddy’s beck and call. it made you sick.

“your father doesn’t even want us to be together! cant you see that he’s doing this on purpose! youre a grown man! not a child permanently tied to his mommy and daddy!” you spat

“hes giving more responsibility for the sake of the agency! for the ingenium legacy! why are you always so selfish when it comes to these things?”

“selfish? selfish?” you asked, incredulous. you couldn’t believe your ears.

“yes selfish. do you know how much i sacrificed to be with you? how much i already have on my plate on top of trying my best to make time for you?”

you stared in astonishment.

sacrifice?

what had he sacrificed for this relationship? he got to do what he wanted, come and go as he pleased with virtually no regard for how you felt or what you did. what sacrifice was there in that way of living?

“fuck you, tenya.”

tenya took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. he chose his words carefully before finally saying, “i cant do this. im leaving.”

you could hear a pin drop in the room. you felt your blood pound in your ears as you stood up quickly, dizzy from the alcohol but still trying to process the words you had just heard.

leaving?

“youre leaving?”

“yes, i have to go. im not doing this with you, not now.”

your heart felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer, as you tried to regulate your breathing. leaving. he was leaving.

“w-wait,” you feebly attempted to cling onto him as he gathered a few of his things.

“tenya you cant leave me.”

“_____ i do not want to do this right now,” he sighed, easily shaking you off and moving to collect more things. his words were buzzing around on the inside of your skull. he was leaving.

leaving without so much of a second thought. he had been planning this. still unsteady on your feet you hobbled after him as quickly as possible, desperation taking over every fiber of your body. you didn't want to lose him, you just wanted your husband back, you happiness back.

“y-you cant do that! you cant leave me! i dont know how to survive without you, tenya, please-”

“_____, just go to bed. you’re drunk.”

you trailed him around the house,“no, you don’t get to decide when this is over. i'm the one whos been hurting for months you cannot just leave me by myself.”

iida spared you one last glance before grabbing his bag, “goodbye, _____”

crushed, you sank to your knees, leaning on the couch for support. you felt like you were dying., hell, you probably were dying. you had never had so much to drink in your life, and you were desperate to make the pounding pain in your chest stop.

you cried yourself to sleep that night, waking up to the sunlight coming through the window with a splitting headache. you felt like your skull was trying to crack itself open from the inside but you shakily got to your feet, remembering bits and pieces from your fight with iida.

you could tell he didn't come home last night; everything was exactly the way you had left it last night. the house alarm was still on, and his shoes were gone.

he actually left.

anger bubbled in your chest as you thought about what had actually happened. you would not let him get the last laugh, or be the last one left, the one waiting on him patiently to pick up the pieces after trying to keep it together. you would leave too, as much as it hurt, and show him just how selfish you could be.

in a flash, you haphazardly packed a bag with essentials and had texted your friends that you needed a place to stay for a few days. you didn’t get into specifics- your heart ached too much to relive the events of the previous night- but you told them you had reached your limit and you needed to take some time to cool off.

alternatively, iida did not sleep that night. after finishing patrols, he stayed at his brother’s apartment out of pure convenience, not feeling prepared to face you after everything that had transpired between the two of you.

the dark-haired man laid staring at the ceiling of tensei’s guest bedroom, wracking his brain and trying to pinpoint how things had gone south so fast. he wanted to fix things, but really didn’t know how. he couldn’t even tell you what was broken, let alone how to begin to fix them.

his brother had tried to give him advice after listening to the entire story, but there was only so much he could do. he knew that you were right, their father was keeping him from you on purpose, slowly making tenya think that he was in the right in an attempt to break you up, but he couldn't be the one to tell him.

tenya had to come to that conclusion himself. he needed to be the one to set boundaries and save your relationship, but from the looks of it, soon any attempts would be futile.

“_____? darling?” iida called as he came into your home. immediately noticing your missing shoes, he moved to the bedroom in a flash, checking to see if you had just moved them or something.

the room was a mess, drawers left open and clothing strewn across the bed and floor. the bathroom had been cleared of almost all your essentials, and a note was left on the dresser. gingerly, iida picked it up and read it, offering up a silent prayer that it didn't say what he thought it did.

i don't know when you'll see this, or if you ever will. if you're reading it, that means you came back home but you will not find me there.

im tired, tenya.

im tired of always being the one to extend the olive branch or bend over backwards for you.

i refuse to be in that position any longer. i love you… i love you so much it hurts sometimes because i know this isn't the way things were supposed to be. but you left, and so i decided to leave too.

if a way to fix things exists, i want us to find it, but right now i need some time to reevaluate us and what that means. i hope you understand, i know you will.

if you want to reach out, im open to talking about this further, but for right now i need to think.

goodbye.

--------

#peachiileaf50! #[🍑]peachiimilquetea #[🍑]peachiiwrites #scenario #tenya iida #mha iida #iida angst #angst #tenya iida x reader #iida x female reader #peachiileafsfw

[playboysaleen]

Love Malady.

Summary: Daughter of the notorious gang of thieves. One day your brothers group kidnap a nobel woman. Feeling guilt you gave her warm clothes, tended to her injuries, and helped her escape. instantly the world falls under a deadly pandemic and is killing/infecting people left to right and you are the only one who is immune. All because you saved a girl years ago coming to find out... it was the goddess of death(Famine).

Warnings: Blood, injury, cursing, violence. (if theres more feel free to just let me know.)

word count: 1,980 (around there)

Ya’ll this is my first Wanda story(first ever on here) so bare with me. thank you. 

its in first person(ill learn 2nd person soon)

__________________________________

February 12th, 2017. 

God, I hate the rain. The sounds of the droplets banging against the roof outside my window is a wonderful way to keep me up. A loud crash rang throughout the room I laid causing a yelp to fall from my lips. 

            “Y/n?” my brother's voice was heard from the door that seemed to be miles away from my bed. His tall silhouette approached my nightstand switching on the lamp. The brightness that lit the whole room could light a whole village in this type of storm and night we’re in. 

        “Thunderstorm.” he humbled taking a seat at the end of my bed. I gazed at the window that painted streaks of clear droplets. 

        “So, what did dad make you and your group do this time?” I whispered, fumbling with my fingers. A sigh fell from his lips knowing how much I hated the deeds my father does, but it's our lives now. 

        “We crashed a business party.” He answered by handing a beautiful Rolex watch that held so many diamonds that cost more than the house we were in. 

            “Jaime! You know how risky that is right?” I raised my voice, swiping the blanket off my body walking towards my closet. I opened the doors rummaging through my hoodies finding a white Nike pullover throwing it on. I pointed at the black warmups next to Jaime, he stood up grabbing them, tossing my way. I slipped on my black running shoes heading downstairs. 

          “Wait Y/n!” Jaime shouted, sprinting from his position which was late by a second when a cry was heard from the entertainment room downstairs. I glanced at Jaime making sure he saw the glare I gave him as I made my way downstairs. 

       “At least put on a mask- you know how dad is with you and me.” He begged, handing me a mask which I snatched with a frustrated sigh. I placed on the face mask heading towards the door as another cry rang out the room. 

    “Oh we’d be dead if Mr. Rome was here.” the figure spoke turning his head towards the smaller figure standing in front of the stranger tied to the chair. 

       “But he's not.” the smaller guy breathed out picking up his hand sending another hit towards the “criminal”. I barged in pushing the small figure full force into the bar sending him over the top landing onto his shoulder. I turned towards the taller man which completely surprised me, 

        “Got damnit Adam!” I growled sending a hit towards the younger yet taller boy. I looked forward to the stranger with a bag over their head, examining them which sparked my curiosity seeing woman-like features. I grabbed the bag and gently lifted it making eye contact with the horrified woman. Her emerald green eyes filled with tears stared back into mine, I gasped not knowing what to do. Her eyes spoke a million words to me yet I could not find one to say. My hand moved towards her gently placing it against her cheek, she shuddered under my touch but it was not happiness nor relief. It was pure fear. 

       “It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you.” i reassured her not breaking eye contact letting her read me knowing my true intentions. Soon she nodded, I returned the gesture standing up facing the two boys with an emotionless expression.

            “Take off your masks.” I spoke- 

    “But Y/n-” I walked towards now seeing his face; Buck, grabbing the back of his neck squeezing down onto his pressure point. A cry dripped from his mouth as I faced him towards the terrified woman. 

                 “She is a woman! What did I mention to you all when you were introduced to the group? Hmm?” I asked pressing deeper into his pressure point causing him to grunt. I shoved his neck so his eyes can lock onto the woman's injured face. 

                 “WHAT DID I SAY BUCK?” I yelled, causing the woman to flinch at how loud I was but I didn't care, they're gonna get taught a lesson. He whimpered under my touch letting fearful tears fall from his eyes. I looked up towards Jaime nodding my head towards Adam, Jaime grabbed Adam placing him on his knees next to a crying Buck that stood in front of the girl. 

             “Respect the ones who mean no harm. We are not strays, we are survivors.” Buck spoke between his tears. I let go of his pressure point sending him to the ground, I huffed loudly looking towards Jaime with disappointed eyes. 

                   “But now since you don't have the right mind to follow those simple rules-” i spoke softly ripping off Adams mask then proceeding to Bucks. Snatching their hoods back to show their whole identity, Jaime placed his hand on my shoulder which I shoved off.

              “Now apologize.” Adam was the first to apologize with a small head bow, I nodded to him letting him leave the room. Buck remained quiet breathing heavily, I pushed his back awaiting his apology which nothing happened. 

          “I don’t owe you anything.” Buck spat towards the quiet woman spitting towards her feet. I grabbed the back of his shirt and sent him back first towards the wall, I grabbed the golf club swinging towards his knee. Screaming in agony clutching his knee I dropped the club sending blows towards his face. Jaime jumped between Buck and i knowing he had enough, i huffed fixing my hoodie walking towards the woman untying her from the chair. 

           “If I untie you, will you run?” i asked locking eyes with her once more, she shook her head awaiting for what comes next, i helped her up looking back towards Jaime picking an unconscious Buck. 

          “I want you to tell dad what he did. Both of them.” I ordered Jaime, he nodded walking down the hall to the pool house. I turned towards the girl helping her towards the staircase, she whimpered struggling up the stairs. I wrapped my arms around her waist placing her body weight onto me walking towards my bedroom. Walking into the bedroom I sat her down walking towards the restroom grabbing the first aid kit.  I knelt front the quiet woman's legs grabbing the alcohol wipes looking back up to her wondering eyes. 

          “This might sting a little but i promise i won’t hurt you.” I whispered, placing the wipe against her bloody wrist. A small hiss fell from the girls mouth as she gripped my hoodie, i quietly apologized dabbing the wipe around her wound on her wrist. 

        “Wanda.” She whispered under her breath when I grabbed the bandage from the kit beside her foot. My head snapped up towards her breathlessly smiling, I grabbed my hood gently taking it off. She watched intently as my hand ghosted over my mask pulling it off, and I looked up sending her a small smile. 

          “Hi Wanda, i’m Y/n.” i uttered letting her take in my profile, she let out a breath sending me a small smile. I moved up dabbing a warm rag against her eyebrow, I held my breath for some reason being around her made me feel at ease. I looked down to lock eyes with her own thoughts and ran through my head which I shook my head clearing up the dry blood that painted on her forehead. 

           “Why did they bring you in Wanda?” I asked standing, picking up the used wipes tossing them into the trashcan heading towards the closet. I grabbed a track suit handing it to her,

         “I was doing my nightly stroll and I walked past the Richland Suite and I heard crying and it was a little boy. He said his dad was hurt and I saw some people hurting these men and I just froze. Next thing I know I'm getting tossed into a trunk with a bag over my head.” Once Wanda finished I huffed leaning against the bathroom door shaking my head. 

        “I am truly sorry for what these men have done to you.” Looking down whispering, she walked towards me placing a hand against my cheek,

         “ Why am i feeling like this towards a stranger?” she asked gazing into my timid eyes. I gently placed my hand against her waist looking into her eyes. 

      “Will it make it better if I told you, you’re not the only one?” I whispered my eyes flickering down to her lips. The flashing from her lips to her eyes was repeated multiple times until I leaned in capturing her lips into mines. 

Complete bliss. 

After what seemed like forever but was only a couple seconds, Wanda pulled away resting her forehead against mine. I sighed knowing it’s wrong to leave her with me, grabbing her wrist I dragged her towards my bedroom door. 

     “You can’t stay here. My father finds out you were brought here and you’re still here he’ll kill us both. Let’s get you home.” I spoke untying my red bracelet tying it onto her wrist. She watched my movements and slowly looked into my eyes, 

        “I will never forget you my love.” She spoke but what caught my attention was her voice didn’t sound like a regular American as of before, it dripped with this foreign accent that made my heart flutter. She placed a kiss against my cheek making her way downstairs to the door, I held it open watching her walk down the steps. 

      “We will meet again Y/n.” She said before walking down the street towards the corner then disappearing into the night. I sighed looking at the sky that cried droplets of water, why am I feeling this way. 

          “Hey.” I snapped my head towards the hallway to see Jaime playing with his fingers, i hummed waiting for his response, 

           “We have to take Buck to the hospital.” I scoffed slamming the door walking towards the back door, 

           “I didn’t even mess up his knee that bad, a little ice and a clean up will do” I grumbled out picking up my pace as I opened the back door walking into the pool house. 

          “No Y/n, he’s sick.” Jaime defended opening the door for me, walking in I gasped watching a pale Buck throw up into a small trash can that stood near the small couch. Furrowing my eyebrows I leaned down placing the back of my hand against his head- 

       “He’s on fire- Buck what did you do?” I couldn’t bring myself to look away from his fatigue state but so many unanswered questions danced through my head. Jaime turned on his flashlight on his phone, shining it into the trash can. I gagged seeing the black blood and mixed vomit that pooled inside the can, I wobbled back looking out the huge window. 

          “My head hurts..” Buck wheezed out, squinting my eyes watching sweat trickle down his temple I noticed his eyes weren’t as blue as they once were. I placed a hand against Jaime’s chest patting rapidly, 

        “Call Pedro. Get the car ready. Somethings wrong.” I ordered, Jaime fumbles his phone in his hand trying to type in Pedro’s number with shaky fingers. Once Jaime gave me the okay, I grabbed Bucks hand gripping it tightly. 

          “I’m sorry for the harsh punishment.” I apologized sighing deeply, he weakly smiled tapping my wrist 2 times. 

         “Gotta learn some way huh..” he tried joking, coughing dryly black and white substance dripped from the side of his mouth. 

       “Pedro’s here.” Jaime breathed out running in. Jaime grabbed Buck taking him into Pedro’s car, I leaned against the window frame glancing back at a wheezing Buck. 

      “Keep me updated when you get to the ER with him okay?” I scolded Jaime, he nodded looking at Pedro giving him a firm nod. I stepped back watching the car back away from the driveway riding off into the rainy night. 

Part 2

Part One. 

Im trying guys.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff x reader #the avengers #pandemic #book #wlw #lgbtq #love #goddess

[jilonie]

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝘾𝙍𝙀𝙏 𝙒𝙀𝘼𝙋𝙊𝙉

Jungkook X Y/N

•Future Smut / chapters / love /mafia au /heartless jungkook /love&hate/ romance

𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨:) 𝙞𝙢 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙧 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞’𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙙. 𝙄𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙨. 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜💘

sneak peak:

“𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘱; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘠/𝘕 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸- 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰����𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘯.” 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳. “𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.”

CHAPTER 1

You were walking. Fast; Really fast. All you could see was black. A darker black than the cloth that covered your eyes. hands. Harsh hands; 6 hands locked on your arms and on your shoulders that you knew would’ve created purple-greenish spots that would hurt like hell. You realized you were in a tunnel speeding through the unknown. Echoes of their keys dangling with one another combined with the never ending tapping of their footsteps irritated your ears. As soon as you lightly shook your head and sighed in exhaustion, you felt a hand against your head violently grabbing a pile of your hair and forcing your head to face forward. “we’re almost there please stay with me” he said. You didn’t know who it was. He sounded soft yet hungry; it was a husky voice that filled your ears and hit every nerve. He sounded rather trustworthy. Rather maybe safe.

Eyesight was still forbidden. Hot air hit your skin at an instant, sending vibrations of satisfaction down your spine as you entered a room and finally stopped.

“I wanna see.” a delicate sound escaped your lips and they knew you weren’t like the others. You weren’t scared of anything; in fact, it amused you.

“Fuck, how is she like this?” one of the men whispered to the other.

“Boss told us she’s a power house. He needs her.” he answered failing to make sure you couldn’t hear. Your red lips turned into a smirk as soon as they placed you on a chair; dead silence filled the room as you waited for the Boss. Strands of hair caressed your cheeks as you waited.

Suddenly rays of light became one with your eyes and he became visible to you. It was the mafia boss. The king of darkness. He was unbeatable; nobody dared to speak of him, steal nor go against. He was quite formally dressed; a serious looking man yet dangerous scars covered the left side of his face creating maps of pathways into the depths of his fearless soul. He scanned your face in surprise of how beautiful you looked. He kneeled in-front of you placing his tattooed hands on the arms of your chair.

“Y/N,” he took a long pause as he tilted his head not breaking the eye contact with his eyes piercing into yours. A painful tint of exhilaration stormed inside you. “You’ll be training with my secret weapon. His name is Jungkook;” he continued, “You know why you’re here young Y/N. Don’t let me down.”

You grew up in the black money, drugs, fame and most of all risk. Your father was the original boss of the mafia. The man even god feared. Lee Keith known as ‘The Boss’, was his right hand man he always relied on. Your father knew you’ve always had this burning flame inside you since the days you smiled as you watched his men kill people; you showed no weakness. As you got older you were the seducer. You’d tend to make the other gangs you’re father was against, gain your trust and told you all their plans and secrets. You were a magical power with eyes darker than the demon but face so irresistible, so stunning; you were a stamp in their memory, difficult for them to forget you.

When your father was killed, your mother took you and ran away from everything and everyone for a good 5 years. You had to be somewhere safe since your protector was dead and all gangs in the dark world your father had beaten, knew you and would die to have you. Until your mafia found you again. You were home.

“Take me to Jungkook.” You spoke in pure confidence even though you knew nothing about him. You had never seen his face however during the fights you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He fought so elegantly yet dangerously; he’d kill numerous people in a matter of seconds and get out with one or two scratches. He’d always wear his mask, even inside the mafia. His face was a mystery; a mystery you wanted to solve.

They dressed you with a mask similar to Jungkooks, black sleeveless top that hugged your silhouette, baggy pants and boots, hair half up half down , purple hair tie paired with fighting gloves. You walked up to the disguised fighter. He was taller than you. Your eyes darted on his arms; his arms exposed of how much he worked out yet the outline of his scars scattered around them were concealed with his tight armor, but still popped out. You noticed a small “Jk” written on the left side of his clothing. He was masked. Your masks became a barrier between both of you. Your only source were your pair of eyes .

“So your the girl the boss has been bragging about?” he said. He sounded rough; a rough angelic voice you don’t hear everyday. You crossed your arms,

“So you’re the Jungkook secret weapon thing right?” You answered.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and cracked his slender fingers looking at you in amusement. “Okay princess; cut the attitude.” he rustled. You stepped closer towards him and whispered as his eyes scanned your ones. You made him nervous.

“make me.” He liked that. You made the blood in his veins rush in adrenaline of pure euphoria. He saw you as a challenge. He wanted to make you just like him.

“ I wanna see you fight.” the tone of his voice darkened.

“I wanna see your face.” You answered back causing your mask to change shape as you smiled. He laughed shaking his head in irony as he stretched his arm exposing his sculpted biceps that led your mind to a whole new world of pleasuring thoughts about him. “Who made you think your that special love?” he answered.

You tapped his nose with your gloved finger, “Oh i am.”

You both trained like animals for a month, restless. You trained with other fighters but you both exchanged looks here and there. You could feel rays of energy blossom inside you whenever he watched you fight. It’s funny how much of an impact he had on you. The thing was, that it was two sided. He impressed you and he knew it; whenever you were around he’d do some flips kicks and tricks in hopes of catching your attention.

Your break had just started after a long session of fights and shooting. you panted so hard sweat was dripping down your pink cheeks. Your vision blurred and your head spun but you could see him coming. That was the first time in a whole week that he’d approach you; his silhouette started running towards you faster and faster as ur sight faded gradually.

“Jung-“ was the only word in your mind as you couldn’t feel your legs anymore.

“Y/N” Jungkook shouted as you felt his hands catching you; then, blank.

You woke up. Laying on a bed. All your eyes processed was the white ceiling. Your head felt like someone banged it on the ground about 100 times; It was logical considering the amount of times you got hit. But you were the best out of everyone except him. Your eyes adjusted to the world as you slowly picked yourself to a sitting position. You were alone. Theres was only a bed, a first aid kit and you.

You couldn’t stop thinking of him touching you as you collapsed even though you felt it for only a split second. His touch felt different from anything else that ever came in contact with your skin. You didn’t know why you felt that way and it killed you; he was the one who broke your stone wall of emotions. He was the weakness. As you sat there you could feel a breeze on your face. You panicked; the mask. Where was it and why isn’t it on you. You touched your bare face missing the feeling of not being trapped around a cloth for the whole day.

The door slammed opened as Jungkook rushed inside in agony looking to see if you were ok. But why did he care? He froze and studied ever corner every angle ever perfect imperfection of your beautiful face with wide eyes. He stood there just looking at you when you felt insecure and looked down breaking the intense contact. You felt your heart in your throat and fireworks blasting in your stomach from what you were experiencing and with who it was.

“Y/N,” he paused as he stood 5 feet away from you watching you sit there on the bed without your mask. He cleared his throat and shook his head trying his best to swallow every feeling, every letter of your name every aspect of you. He took a deep breath and continued as you watched in shock,

“you should continue practicing, you have 10 minutes to get your head straight.” He turned around ready to leave as he displayed his v shaped back to you sending questions in your mind of how would it look like without the cloth on top.

“Jungkook!” Your innocent voice found the courage to flow. He stopped still his back facing you; you didn’t know what to expect. He shook his head and you sat there observing in anxiousness.

“Fuck Y/N don’t say that” He said softly.

“Why? Why are you being like this. I fucking don’t know what it is about you i haven’t even seen your face and-“ You gave up. You felt weaker and weaker as you spoke; even embarrassed. He sighed loudly placing his hands behind his head as if he gave up on everything.

“I know i’m gonna regret this later but i can’t fucking help it.” he said as he walked towards you. He took his mask off and slammed his lips onto yours. A world of breathtaking feelings grew inside you in a matter of seconds as he guided his hands through your hair. Your hearts beating like wild animals trying to break out of your chests.

The world stopped and the barrier exploded in the most beautiful way none of you ever expected. He needed your kiss; he kept kissing you, and you kept letting him to. Finally the kiss broke and you looked at him. He was the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on. It was a wild beauty. His darkness was only in his eyes yet his face was delicate. His brown hair fell perfectly on his eyes caging the shimmer of his universe which consisted of all shades of black but all kinda of the brightest stars. His jaw a knife and his lips your drug. He still held on to your hair in elegance,

“Please, please don’t stop” You whispered as your voice broke.

“ From the moment i fucking saw you that first time i couldn’t stop thinking about you. You fucking mess me up Y/N and i don’t even know you.” he explained while caressing your cheek with his warm thumb. “Whenever your around you fuck me up; the only thing i think about is you Y/N and how- how you’d look in my arms every night without that stupid mask on.” he searched your eyes desperately trying to find an answer.

“Jungkook we cant be together.” Your eyes were tearing waterfalls as glistening dots of water ran in pain.

“I know.” he sighed his eyes not leaving your lips. You both knew it was forbidden to be together in the mafia. Rules were feelings not to exist what so ever for whatever reason. He kissed you again. The sensation drilled down your spine only by the feeling of his hands on you. Lips against yours. Anything that was Jungkook was your desire. He released your hair and stood up in defeat. His eyes drowned in the worst waters of his storm of emotions. You felt a knife piercing its way down your throat. He was still looking down at you as he spoke

“Practice starts in 10” His voice shaking as he forced these words out of him. He wore his mask and walked out of the room. Your stomach crumbled; Love turned into sorrow. The secret weapon broken.

CHAPTER 2

Your eyes pinned on the door that Jungkook exited from. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t move but your heart said otherwise. It spat strong bullets of blood into your veins and caused tears to fall so quickly you felt like you were drowning in your own pain. Was it because its him, or the fact that it ended just like that? Your mind was nothing but blank. It was either blank or his name.

You swore you couldn’t feel your feet dangling from the bed. It was as if he’d already taken a part of you with him from the moment he placed those soft lips on yours 3 minutes ago. That fire everyone admired about you, that fire that everyone envied about you, blew out because of this boy and the barrier he destroyed that nobody ever could even if they had the best weapons or the longest time in the world. You picked yourself up as your hands tried their best to wipe away the tears and conceal the pain.

You just stood there in silence. The only sound alive, was the sound of your delicate breath trembling as you inhaled and exhaled in hopes of calming yourself down. You started walking out the door, fighting anything in your mind that wanted to stop you from doing so. The scene where he took off his mask and revealed his incredibly handsome face was replayed in your mind on a big screen as if it was something everyone had to see, but in reality it was only for you. He wanted to do this only for you; he took it off only for you.

You felt your legs weaken which made you almost too certain that you wouldn’t make it until the practice room without bursting into tears. You finally spotted the door for the room in the distance and you stopped. You knew he was in there wearing his mask as a shield to hide his pain and not his face. The thought of this made a tint of lightning trail down your spine in the worst way possible.

Your eyes scanned fighters that went in and out the practice room. Each one stopped to look at you for more than a second which reminded you that your mask was missing. You lacked your shield of pain; you lacked the only thing you had left to cover up the mess. You rubbed your arm in nervousness as you found the courage to start heading for the room.

The door was slightly open and you could see fighters of all kind, being occupied with trainers everywhere. That was your chance to get in without anyone noticing and you took it. You trotted inside your eyes fixed on your trainer. You let your long brown hair down in hopes of covering your face that failed to do so.

“Y/N you’re extremely late..” The trainer hissed as his neck vain literally popped out. He was big and his muscles were like big unbreakable mountain rocks that looked even more fearsome with his missing eye.

“I- i’m so sorry, i was just um-“, you stuttered as you struggled to get rid of the idea that Jungkook was there.

“Where is your mask?” he interrupted you, eyeing you as if he’d never seen a beautiful face in a long time. You looked at him with wide eyes; The tension was at its max as you felt a burn trail down your throat.

“I don’t know” you answered while touching the space of your face where your mask was supposed to be. He shook his head in disappointment as he grabbed your hand. It was a grab identical to the one you felt when they held you that first time. You knew he was the one who admired you. He chose to train you.

“Fighters gather round and sit in a circle,” He roared so powerfully you could feel the floor almost vibrate. A sea of masked men covered in black, forming a big circle while having their eyes flaming in hunger was enough to make your fingers tingle in exhilaration. The atmosphere was intense and all 50 pairs of eyes were darted on you.

“You all know Y/N,” Your trainer announced leaving you in a maze of pure confusion. Your heart dropped as you raised your eyebrows looking at him in fright.

“Weapon, step forward.” He continued. Everyone gasped silently as they knew he’d put you up against the Weapon; You felt your lungs and heart igniting altogether as you processed his name. A patch of fighters slightly moved to the side to let him pass through as you darted your vision in that area. You could feel heat boiling up inside you as he stepped forward; he was a dot inside the circle, you were the one he’d have to fight.

You parted your lips in disbelief and looked at him right in the eyes, as you always did before you unraveled his face; It was you and him as everyone else sat around you. He traced you everywhere. His eyes sped in all directions of your body. His red double glazed glistening eyes full of pain were too exhausted to fight, yet the choice wasn’t his and definitely not yours.

“SET, FIGHT” The trainer shouted, his voice echoing ringing a bell in your mind as you took position immediately trying to make yourself think the one standing opposite you isn’t the boy you love. Jungkook took a deep breath and whispered just enough for nobody to hear,

“Come on love, show me that fire that i love about you.” You kicked, he grabbed; you spun, he avoided. You kept on fighting and fighting as if you were worst enemies. He couldn’t beat you easily as you fought just like him. Identical to him. Two flames intertwining causing a deadly fire; That was your connection. He grunted in surprise and growled in difficulty as you tried your best to fight him. Not because you wanted, but because he asked for it. All the fighters stared at your every move intensely, rather impressed of your power against Jungkook. You could hear nothing but the sound of needles digging through your ears yet you strongly felt Jungkooks hands grab every action you did.

You loved it. You loved the pain he opposed on you. It was a burning feeling of euphoria, too strange to explain. He grabbed your legs and pulled as you fell on your back, next thing you knew he sat on top of you pinning your arms on each side as his face was a thread away from yours. His wet hair acted as curtains in-front of his eyes. The heat from his body felt hot on your skin as you panted in need for air; or him. The thought that he was on top of you at that moment made your world flip and his mind freeze. His eyes not leaving your exposed lips.

“Fuck i can’t hide it,i want you,” he growled silently as he held your hands even tighter.

“i- i want you” you mouthed as he picked up each word that escaped your lips.

“Jungkook won this round” Your trainer said as Jungkook got up, shattering the contact between your bodies. He stood and looked at you as you were laying down below him. He couldn’t take the thought that je might’ve hurt you physically after the fight.

“God what did i do to deserve her.” he mumbled on the cloth trapping his lips as he slowly pushed back the hair in his face revealing his perfect eyebrows. He keeps touching you with those eyes but nothing else. He can’t do anything else. Suddenly he got dragged from your vision. The chemistry between you two was so vivid, your trainer grabbed Jungkook and took him further away to talk in private. You panted looking around the room as one of the other fighters approached you to help you get up.

He held his gloved hand out. You noticed a tint of his pale white skin being exposed between the end of his shirt and the beginning of the glove. You placed your hand on his and he pulled you on your feet elegantly. Rose petals fell from your cheeks and covered your body with something that feels like trust. His eyes took over yours as he gazed at your unmasked self. Naked exposed face all for himself. His eyes led to a mysterious ocean filled with whole new blacks and blues. A different beautiful from Jungkooks.

“I refuse to believe how good you are at this.” His voice so seductively soft, impossible to exist. He seemed to be an angel in disguise.

“Thanks” You answered. You flashed an innocent smile as you were about to leave, however he touched your arm and interrupted as you,

“Im Jimin by the way”. His grip felt warm, soft, heavenly.

“I’m Y/N” immediately escaped from your lips.

“i-i know” he sighed; he sounded rather hopeless as he walked away before you had the chance to say anything.

You stood in place rubbing the bruises Jungkook sprinkled all over your arms. A soft smile was formed on your face cause you knew the bruises were left on you as love bites from him. You felt it. Your tight armor was slightly ripped revealing your belly button. You did fight like lions.

Everyone was occupied practicing non stop as you sat against the wall, your legs exhausted and lips dry in need for some life. Faces of nurses dressed in green, on top of you checking you; mending you. You could feel them chatting quickly as they wrapped a wound on your leg in such speed yet smoothly since they do this nearly every 2 hours.

You rested your head on the wall and tilted it to the left as a nerve in your eye identify Jungkook right away. You couldnt resist the attraction even if you tried to swallow every piece of it. He was quite far away yet close. The trainer was talking to him yet his attention was on you. The doors to his soul were concentrated on to you as you could feel your trainer telling him something serious yet you couldnt make up what he was saying. You crossed your eyebrows in heavy concern as Jungkooks expression changed to the worse.

He glared at the ground in immense fright as your trainer started poking at his shoulder harshly. Your stomach dropped 5 stories down and your legs became numb. What was happening? What have they found out? You tried your best to focus on them as your vision became uncontrollably watery. Next thing you knew Jungkook stormed out and banged the door.

•••

2:32 am and you tossed on your bed. Your room. Number 97. It was the newest room made just for you yet rather small. Sleep was against you and the moon wasnt sinking in the ocean any time soon. The only source of light was the lamp next to you but nothing much. It was just enough to process where you were.

“Get out of my fucking mind” You whispered in desperation as you could feel your mind travel from each imperfection to every perfection of him. It was torture for you. You forced a tattoo of the letters ‘cant be together’ on each layer of your brain, but even that wasnt strong enough. Nothing was. Your face met with the palm of your hands and exhaled in exhaustion as you sank in your pillow waiting for the moon to enchant you to sleep.

Torture.

Your door handle twitching was what broke the silence. You shrugged in panic as your covers hugged your legs but he managed to get in. A tall figure was approaching you as your instinct made you throw a punch, yet your mind and eyes failed to process the fast encounter. He grabbed your hand and covered your mouth with his other hand. A familiar touch. You felt an army of sharp knifes break through your spine in a time span of 2 seconds as he held you in place.

“Hey hey princess it’s me, it’s Jungkook” Your eyes adjusted to the darkness and created his features in your mind as you had bare faced Jungkook a thread away from you. His soft voice stroked your ears as your heart lifted causing your body to fall into his arms. His hands shaking as he held your face finally having your lips onto his. The world stopped; you both found home. His hands explored you everywhere as you swathed your arms around his long neck, kissing as if that was it. As if forever wasnt an option. He broke the kiss as you leaned in for more, both lost in eachothers hearts as if everyone else in world disappeared.

“Y/N,” he muted his tone as he placed his forehead on to yours,

“ Your trainer know what’s going on but i dont fucking care. I really don’t, i only want you. Just thinking about your touch drives me insane i-“ he shook his head left and right as he spoke as if he just let out everything he ever felt, he knew it was a sin for the mafia. He sold his soul.

The weapon bloomed into a magnificent rose consisting of breathtaking reds and pinks yet filled with deadly thorns. You hunted in his eyes as you touched his cheek

“I dont know what to do Jungkook i really dont. How about we act like-like we dont know eachother or-“ you tried to come up with something as his eyes reflected hope, he wanted this; he yearned you.

“ Ill do anything literally anything, but fuck ill miss my fingers in your perfect fucking hair.” Before you could even answer you felt his lips mark sloppy kisses on your neck as you lolled your head back feeling every nerve of your body boil in pleasure.

“Jungkook i-“ You forgot how to speak as you held on to his shredded arms. Those sinewy arms of his, left you breathless only by the thought of them on you; You felt his muscles clench and unclench as he grabbed your waist tightly. You lost it. you wanted him.

“Y/N im not gonna leave you, ever, i promise on my fucking life.” he kissed you again and again

“Please dont leave me” You panted. Your heaven stopped as you felt the absence of his body from yours. The door was wide open and 4 people grabbed him dragging him out of your room. Panic.

“Y/N” he roared as his powerful outline fought for freedom. “OH MY GOD NO JUNGKOOK” You cried as you were held in place by 4 hands caging your every source of movement.

“Boss was right, inject her” a voice pierced your eardrum and destroyed every grain of hope.

“What are you doing to me? Where the fuck are you taking him?” You unstoppably struggled to break away from them as they held you even tighter. A voice from behind you awakened

“To you? Nothing. But Weapon, you’ll find out sooner or later.” You felt your heart split with the strongest most unbreakable sword not even God could control. Yet again, you went blank.

#jungkook #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts #mafia au #jungkook mafia au #bangtan #jeon jungguk #kookie #taehyung #park jimin #bts smut

[chaiscentedcandle]

What’s a Period? (Neville Longbottom x fem!reader)

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Neville Longbottom

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: y/n and Neville were suppose to have a nice winter day at Hogsmeade until aunt flow comes for a visit

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭: none, thought of it cause I’m on mine

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none, pure fluff!

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭:

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: I don’t simp for Neville but my friend does heavily and theres not a lot of fanfics for Neville cause he gets like, 0% appreciation and y’all have great taste, also this is my first post so heeeyyyy😗✌🏼

Y/n was suppose to have a beautiful evening in the cold weather with her boyfriend, Neville Longbottom. Unbeknownst to her, yesterday, a Friday in her last class, she’d start her period. It was embarrassing to say the least because she had leaked through to her skirt but she was able to get out of class without anyone noticing, flushed cheeks and teary eyes as she ran out of class, her hands covering her bum.

Laying in her bed in her pajamas y/n was clutching her stomach and groaning from cramps. Y/n wanted to find Neville the day before and tell him they’d had to reschedule but she didn’t want to set her face an inch out of the painting until Monday, hoping whatever people thought happened would’ve been forgotten. She tried to make herself as warm as she could, cacouuning herself in a blanket and curling into herself as far as Y/n could.

Neville was making his way to her domitory, bundled up with a beanie and scarf, matching with a pair of gloves from his grandmother. Stopping in front of the door a knocked twice and called her name. No answer. Knocking again he said.

“Y/n? It’s me, Neville....you’re boyfriend?”

Still no answer.

Taking a deep breath Neville grabbed the door handle “please don’t be naked” he whispered. He entered the room with his hand over his eyes and the other still on the door handle, after a few seconds he took a peak from between his fingers to find her curled in bed, her back facing him. Concerned Neville makes his way to her in only a few long strides.

Sitting on the bed behind her, he begins to rub her back “are you awake?” He asks softly, she nods her head.

“Yes, I’m awake, I don’t want to get out of bed”

Neville leans over to take a look at her face to see tears running down her cheeks. He takes his glove off and gently wiped away a tear or two “what’s wrong, love?” Sniffling she mumbles to him “imonmyperiod”. Neville opens and closes his mouth, trying to processes what she said because he couldn’t hear her “I-I’m sorry, what?” He stuttered.

Y/n sighs and roll over to face him, guessing there’s no way to beat around the bush with this one. “I’m on my period” she told him, looking at her fingers, Neville took a few more seconds again before saying “uhm....what’s a period?” Y/n let’s out a small chuckle. “What? Your grandmoms never told you about it?” She asks him, he shook his head “no, never”.

Biting the inside of her cheek, thinking of ways to easily explain having your period to Neville. “Well” y/n begun “every once a month females bleed out from there.....you know” gesturing to her genitalia “and it technically means you’re not pregnant, so in a way it’s a blessing and a curse because you get cramps and they hurt really bloody bad” licking his lips and taking in the information he just received, failing with a few words Neville asks.

“So....you aren’t pregnant?”

Her eyes widen “merlins beard! No! That’s the whole point of me having my period, so I know I’m not pregnant” she tells him, he lets out a breath he was holding in. “I’m mean, Christ, Neville, we’ve never even done anything” Y/n laughing came to a stop as another wave of cramps invaided her stomach and letting a few tears slip. Neville lays his hand on your shoulder “are you alright? S-should I take you to Madam Pomfrey?” She shook her head “no, I’ve dealt with it before, you should get to Hogsmeade before everyone leaves” y/n told him.

Neville visibly swallows as if he didn’t want to go without her “are you sure? I can stay here with you, I don’t mind” he insisted, once again y/n shook her head “no, I don’t want you to waist a Hogsmeade trip on me, I’ll be alright, I’ll go to the next one, I just want to sleep these cramps off” she said as her eyes started to flutter closed. Neville had an idea, leaving y/n alone to leave for Hogsmeade, catching up with Dean and Seamus.

“What’s up with you, mate? You’re counting your galloens like they’ll disappear” Seamus said, wrapping his jacket around him tighter. Dean let out a quick laugh, Neville glanced at him then back down to his galloens “y/n on her period, so I thought I might get her some of her favorite things” he replied. Seamus looked puzzled, looking at Dean for help. “Alright, a female gets a period about every once a month?” Dean says.

“Once a month” Neville confirms, still counting his galloens.

“Right, so basically they bleed out...down below, and they get like bad cramps and stuff” Dean told Seamus, looking more confused and slightly disturbed “how do you know, Dean?” He questions, Dean just gives him a look “I have sisters you prat” smacking Seamus upside the head, giving out a light chuckle.

Neville visited her favorite shops, stopping first at The Three Broomsticks, waiting patiently up at the bar for him to be spotted. Not long after a lady spots him and makes her way over to him “how can I help you, love?”

“Uh, y-yes, can I get a hot chocolate to go please?” He stumbled, he wasn’t the best when it came to talking to strangers “m-my girlfriends on her period” sometimes he overshared too. Giving Neville a warm smile the lady ordered another employee to get the hot chocolate. Neville stood there, looking down at the bar top “you must be a good boyfriend” the lady said after a few seconds of silence, glancing up at her Neville responded “I-I hope so”

Laughing a bit the lady handed Neville the hot drink “alright, that’ll be two galloens please” reaching into his coat he grabbed two galloens, placing them into the lady’s hand and grabbing the cup “thank you, have a good day” the lady gave him a nod “no problem, you too hun” Neville turned to leave but the lady called after him “I recommend going over to Madam Puddifoots and getting ginger tea, it helps with cramps” she told him, he gave her a smile and a thumbs up, scurrying over there.

Nevilles last stop was Honeydukes, getting y/n chocolate after Hermione told him it’s a essential for periods. Getting a few more of his and her favorite candy, he headed back to Hogwarts with Dean and Seamus. Seamus going on about something Neville wasn’t paying attention to, his mind was back to her, wondering if she had been crying again from the pain. It only made him want to get back to Hogwarts quicker “you need help there, mate?” Dean asks “your arms are practically over flowing” Neville appreciated his gesture cause his arms in fact, were over flowing “yes please”.

As the students started to trickle through Hogwarts entrance, Neville broke away from his friends and made his way to Y/n as quick as he could without spilling or dropping anything. Once he made it back to her dorm he somehow managed to open the door and find her in the same position, upon hearing the door open y/n turned to see who had come in, spotting Neville and his arms full.

Sitting up and staring at Neville with her mouth open as he placed two drinks on her nightstand and all the goodies at her feet “Neville...” she started, he sat down next to her “I thought it would be a nice thing to do, after seeing how much pain you were in” he told her, she felt tears prick at her water line and her vision blur a bit “oh, love, you didn’t have too, this is so sweet” Neville just pulled her into a hug and let her cry a few tears on his shoulder “I wanted too, you deserve it” he whispered to her.

Making room for him, she told him “here, get under the covers with me, you must be cold” he slipped off his shoes and took his first jacket off. He handed her the hot chocolate “here, I know how much you like The Three Broomsticks hot chocolate, a lady there recommend the ginger tea from Madam Puddifoots for the, uh, cramps” a huge smile etched its way onto y/n‘s face, leaning forward she gave him a kiss on the cheek before placing a sweet kiss on his lips “thank you so much, Neville, this is hands down one of the nicest things someone has done for me” she told him.

Feeling his heart sore with love and appreciation, Neville wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder and pulled her in to cuddle “Hermione suggested I get you chocolate as well” he said reaching for a few chocolate brands, handing them to y/n. Throwing her head back and letting out a groan she reached for the chocolate, wanting to devour it “yes, oh my god, you don’t understand how badly I’ve been wanting a chocolate frog or two”

Neville looked down and smiled, even though she didn’t go to Hogsmeade with him, he’d say it was a great day. The two of them ended up spending almost the rest of the day sitting in bed and talking, but it was a perfect way to spend it.

#neville longbottom #neville longbottom x reader #hogwarts #harry potter series #hp imagine #hp fanfic #hp imagines #neville longbottom imagine #neville longbottom fanfiction #harry potter imagine

[realsilentsaint]

Okay, so. Wow. That was a lot. Here are my final thoughts on everyone and the story line.

Russell Adler:

- Boi, does this man confuse me

- A part of me fully understands where he's coming from and why he did what he did

- I honestly wasn't that mad at him

- I, however, did not like the way he pressured Bell towards the end and drugged him. Again, I understand it but from Bell's point of view, I am fifty shades of fucked up

- Big turn off was him shooting me at the end, though. Felt like we had a decent thing going until he did that tbh

- All in all, I understand him and really wish things didn't end the way they did. He was a good mentor and Bell learned a lot. They made a good team

- The more I think about it, the more the psychological affects to Bell mess me up and I'm at a total loss with how I feel about him

Alex Mason:

- Honestly, I fucking love him

- He was reassuring but in a way that wasn't necessarily too passive or aggressive

- He really is the perfect friend for Woods. They're opposites but highlight the best in each other

- Wish I could've seen more of him rather than playing as him and I wish he had more dialogue in the safehouse as well

- I think Bell and Mason would've been great buds if given the chance

Frank Woods:

- Not gonna lie, his voice is a bit weird

- But I think it really adds to his character overall

- Loyal and funny, dedicated to doing good while also being unafraid to push the limits and really give the bad guys the good ol' razzle dazzle

- No complaints here really

- Not super sure if my Bell would be good friends with him but they would at least be buddies

Jason Hudson:

- Fuck him

- I don't like him, he literally did nothing but complain and judge. Provided absolutely nothing

- I understand the point of having the big boss around but he was truly useless and I wouldn't have noticed nor cared if he wasn't in the game

- You can bet your ass that my Bell feels the same way, too

Eleazar "Lazar" Azoulay:

- I am still not over his death

- I cried

- Paused the game, put the controller down and just shdidieoaldjufjdndkaoeugn yknow?

- A truly amazing guy. Funny, loyal, a heart of pure fucking gold

- I would've loved more time with him, his vibes were so fucking immaculate

- I personally love him but I feel as though my Bell would kind of see him like a big brother and it would hurt that much more when he died

Lawrence Sims:

- Going to be 1000% honest, he did not get nearly as much screen time as he deserved

- Like seriously, this guy was always joking around and having a good time with everyone in the safehouse but was on, like, one, maybe two missions??

- Theres so much potential there and I just

- He deserved more

- My Bell would probably interact the same way with Sims as he did with Woods

Helen Park:

- I don't even know where to start

- She was deadass the only reason I bought Cold War

- She deserved way more fucking screen time and I will be upset about it forever

- Her voice though, oh god

- There seriously wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would save her but it still really hurt to leave Lazar

- But the fact that she was there through all the brainwashing kind of throws me off

- Don't get me wrong, she is my wife through and through but I just wish she, like, did not do that lmao

- Obviously, my Bell ends up with Park so

As for the storyline, it surprised me. There was a lot of great but some really wack parts. I definitely wish we played as Bell 100% of the time. I feel like I would've been more immersed and invested into things. I do love Mason but I don't know, I would rather play as Bell than anyone else.

The safehouse was probably my favorite part. Those little moments in between. Conversations, whether they were honest or not. Seeing them for who they were, nothing beats that. Wish I could've explored it more but it does leave a lot up to interpretation so I'm not mad.

Brick in the Wall was by far the best mission. I was hoping the game would kind of follow that vibe more. The undercover, sneaking around Europe, and getting into those smaller to moderate gun fights while staying out of the public eye. Loved Greta but I didn't know I could save her so that fucking hurt. But the way they saved Bell? And Park specifically lifting me out of that chair? I loved it. I wish the game had more of that so so much.

Desperate Measures left a lot to be desired. I was hoping it would be more like Brick in the Wall and that Adler and Bell would be awkwardly navigating KGB Headquarters. And then just blasting out of there like that? And Lazar just pulling up in a regular old car? I don't know, I was hoping for more there.

Cuba hurt. We don't talk about it.

This whole brainwashing thing has me fucked up. The amount of time and dedication it would have taken. The efforts they went through. I just... I don't know. It was a good plot twist but I really don't enjoy it, both as the player and as a writer.

Everything after that felt rushed. It wasn't cohesive. It wasn't the cathartic ending that it was building up to. I really don't feel like Bell got justice for Lazar. It didn't feel like we stopped Perseus. I didn't feel the threat of nukes going off throughout Europe. I felt thrown off and I wish there was something more. I don't know.

Everyone deserved more screentime, save for maybe Woods and Adler because they had a great deal of missions. That was disappointing.

I don't know. I think I was just hoping for more and hyping things up and now I'm thrown for a loop. I definitely will not be following cannon when I write. But then again, I never do.

Thanks for joining me on my Cold War journey, though. Hope you enjoyed it

#call of duty black ops cold war #russell adler #alex mason #frank woods #jason hudson #eleazar azoulay #lazar #lawrence sims #helen park #greta keller #im not sure how to feel #definitely not happy with how this ended #the whole idea of the cold war and the immersive vibes of the 80s and everything was immaculate #a truly great idea that had so much fucking potential #and i feel like a lot of it was forced when they had so much opportunity #i just #i dont know #://

[inosukeslefttoe]

girl.... omg.... this game rlly means it when it says itll show me the ultimate despair....

so my first fav character was sayaka right,,, and then it was mondo,,, WHICH ISNT TOO GREAT FOR ME LMAO ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE SUCH TRAGIC FATES THIS GAME IS FULL OF TRAGEDY BUT ITS SO FUCKING WELL DONE AND IM EVEN MORE OBSESSED NOW (was low key scared id actually get depressed bc of this since i tend to get rlly attached to things like this,, and yeah i miss mondo like hell but ITS IN SUCH AN EXHILARATING WAY YKNOW AND I CANT WAIT TO KEEP PLAYING THE GAME)

but lmao i just wanna scream about all the little things that made this part of the game even more tragic,,, so first of all is like,, how similar mondo and chihiro are right ?? like at first you see them and ur like “wow these two are lowkey polar opposites bc mondo big tough violent outspoken scary man while chihiro is tiny passive inferiority complex timid man” but after hearing both of their stories, you can tell that they both suffer from the same things and have the same goal. they both have terrible inferiority complexes, they just deal with them differently: chihiro kinda gave into it and ran away from it by deciding to hide his true self behind something he saw as “weaker” than him and letting that become a part of his identity out of fear that he was too weak to try and change/fight it. Mondo on the other hand overcompensated big time for it and became the ultimate manly man when inside he felt nothing but weak and guilt. also like,, a few times mondo mentioned that hes rlly bad with emotions right and he handles them through anger and violence so,,, this means that whenever he has these negative feelings towards himself he has no healthy way to let them out and just keeps pushing them down and trying to maintin this facade of a strong man and never letting anyone know that hes “weak” but this just ends up as a big ball of negativity and adds to his “weakness”...and like... bro chihiro and mondo couldve grown so much stronger together bc they suffer from the same things but could learn how to deal with it better together and balance each other out.... but mondo acted so quickly and violently and did something he couldnt undo which just added to his self hatred and YKNOW ALSO KILLED THE MOST PURE HEARTED STRONGEST PERSON IN HERE BUT AT THE SAME TIME MAKES IT HARD FOR YOU TO BLAME MONDO AND HATE HIM FOR IT BUT UGH THERES JUST SO MANY LAYERS AND ITS SO EMOTIONAL

next.... as you can tell by the gif.... IS MONDOS RELATIONSHIP WITH TAKA... ill prolly make a post screaming abt how much i love them later lmao but like... god what hurt the most for me personally during this bit wasnt that my favorite boy died/had a whole tragic story.... but that his best friend had to go through such betrayal and such loss. like... not only did taka have to see this side of mondo that mondo was desperately trying to hide and find out that his best friend had broken everything he stood for and yknow,,, feel the ultimate sense of betrayal, but he also had to see his best friend brutally killed in front of him. like,, holy shit man mondo was straight up confessing but taka... TAKA REFUSED TO BELIEVE IT AFTER ALL THIS EVIDENCE AND THAT HIT SO MUCH HARDER THAN LEONS DEATH AND THE LIL RHYTHM MINI GAME THING bc in leons case he was like “it was self defense !! i had to !! its not my fault !!” after murdering someone,, but in this case,,,, mondo admitted to it but it was his Bro who refused to accept it and was fighting tooth and nail to save his best friend. AND LIKE,, TAKA IS THE ULT MORAL COMPASS RIGHT ?? AND HE STRAIGHT UP HAD TO KNOW IT WAS MONDO,, AND THAT BREAKS LITERALLY EVERY RULE ON ANY MORAL COMPASS,,, BUT TAKA STILL FOUGHT FOR HIM WITH EVERYTHING HE HAD..... also i noticed taka cursing and that seemed so ooc but so utterly heartbreaking.... and i love how they added extra drama in the game by having the va violently scream in agony for taka like.... talk about despair lmao. omg and my brother is watching the anime right and he was like lol you should watch the scene from it too if you wanna be more sad.... AND OH GOD HE WAS RIGHT... the fact that taka resorted to some violence by grabbing mondo aggressively and shaking him and yelling ... and the fact that he was like “why did you kill him make me understand” kinda thing and mondo couldnt even look at taka or say anything.... BUT EVEN WITH THAT,,, TAKA STILL COULDNT BEAR HIS FRIEND BEING KILLED AND BEGGED MONOKUMA TO KILL H I M INSTEAD ??? GOD MY HEART CANT FUCKING HANDLE THAT. LIKE THAT BOND THEY HAVE BRO AND HOW MONDO SEVERED IT AND HOW TAKA WAS NOT GONNA LET IT BE BROKEN THAT EASILY AND HHHHHH IM . SO . SAD. but seriously... that was a whole new level of despair imo for this game to add such a beautiful relationship between these two and have it end so tragically by taka, the moral compass, dropping his morals and refusing to see the facts in front of him and still ready to die for his bro.... also the whole “make me understand” line kinda just... he couldnt even condemn mondo for it, he wanted to know his reasonings so he could know that his friend wasnt a bad guy and couldnt die yknow...

HAHA I GOT ALL SAD AGAIN WRITING THIS DUDE BUT ITS JUST SO GOOD HOW COULD I NOT MAKE A POST YOU FEEL ?? im so hyped to start chapter three tomorrow but i swear if it gets any sadder it might actually affect my mood and ill have to take a break... but i think that the death of my fav + the relationship doomed to despair is quite a high level to beat for me personally since i always find things to be more sorrowful when it has anything to do with human connections like that lmao

1/2/21

#danganronpa trigger happy havoc #mondo oowada #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo death #chihiro fujisaki #ishimondo #ultimate despair

[babysizedfics]

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically

#swearing tw #little angst #long post #chaotic cousin remus #little/big concepts #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

[hwangdol]

n.jm: where are you?

summary: jaemin is just a little (very) misunderstood

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

note: gUESS WHOSE BACK IN TOWN?!?!?!? y’all already know the routine: poor grammar, crackheads, a fuck ton of cursing i think, and drug references (*coughs* stoner-boi!haechan *coughs*). this isn’t the last part so theres def gonna be a part three, i just have too much to write for jaemin and i don’t wanna rush things too much, but i also don’t wanna leave you all hanging. so enjoy. but also make sure to read part one first so you can be in the know~ 

“because she knew that i was in love with you” 

it took you a good m i n u t e to register jaemin’s words, not that you even comprehended the weight of his words either.  

you didn’t know how to respond so like a normal person you started laughing awkwardly to ease the tension, “you’re joking right?” 

he hAD to be bc there was no way in hell that the biggest fuckboy of the whole school, na jaemin once harbored a one-sided love for you, right? 

a small flash of hurt flashed across jaemin’s eyes that you couldn’t catch since his whole demeanor immediately brighten u again and one of his signature playful smiles on was back on his face. 

.“i can’t ever fool you can i?” he chuckled shaking his head.

“no but seriously, why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year? you were supposed to be hoco royalty with ella,” you picked at the melting ice cream. 

jaemin shrugged, “maybe i just didn’t feel like it.” 

he seems so nonchalant on the outside, but on the inside, na jaemin is thinking of 1001 ways to disappear off the face of the earth. 

what did he expect in the first place? that you would just accept his belated confession that quickly?

but he’s now big s a d, but he ain't going let that show. no, no, no, it ruins his go-with-the-flow personality and the “playboy” role everyone put him in. 

:( 

“do you have something to do after school tomorrow?” jaemin asked once the two had finished your sundae and the two of you were waiting for your ride to come to pick you up.  

 you shook your head at his question, knowing that haechan would mostly like ditch your afterschool hang out to get high with mark or chill at that one girl's house

“why?” you asked. 

“how about we hang out then?” jaemin asked so casually. he was just that good at hiding his real feels

 “can i ask why you’re suddenly trying to hang out with me more often? its weird” you say back, not like the feeling that was bubbling in your throat. was he trying to mess around with you? did he run out of girls to play with?

jaemin pouted slightly, ‘i’m simply trying to reconnect with my old friend. besides, i need help with the prom decorations and since you already finished it, you should know how to do them quickly.” 

“i’ll see” is all you say. 

and you leave, not knowing what you did to his poor little heart. 

poor jaemin got ghosted bc you never reached out to him in the days to follow to “hang out”. the two of you would make eye contact at school, but you always quickly looked away. 

:( x 10

it wasn’t that jaemin was shock by your cold treatment, but he was holding onto the hope that you didn’t see him as na jaemin the resident fuckboi, but as na jaemin the boy who was once the prince to your little princess. except jaemin knew very well that this isn’t a fairy tale, just cruel reality.

life is a little bitch and it was messing him the fuck up! 

however, na jaemin is a coward and he knows this. 

which is why he feels more comfortable when he’s surrounded by others wearing the mask that was carefully crafted for him than when he’s all by himself.

bc when’s he completely alone, when no one is around, he’s left with no one but himself. 

the one person he hates the most in the world.

when did it begin? 

when did he care more about what others think than what he thought? when did he begin to follow the crowd? 

when did he lose himself? 

maybe it began around sophomore year, when he first agreed to date ella. something that he wouldn’t have agreed to if it weren’t for you asking that of him. 

he could never say no to you. the one who held his heart in the palm of his hands. 

did he ever like ella?

he tried to, but it was kinda hard when the only reason why he said yes to her confession was to make you happy. he remembered the way your eyes lit up in happiness as he and ella broke the news to you

you looked like the happiest girl in the world and he felt his heart race at the sight, but not when ella confess to him. 

it was useless pining, he knew that. you only saw him as a close friend and especially now that he was with your bestfriend. 

that was why he tried soooooo hard to get himself to feel things for ella. 

he spent most of his time with her, even ditching his homie student-athlete!jeno (who he often found himself feeling jealous of when he found out that jeno crashed at your house to have a movie marathon with you multiple times)

but he just couldn’t feel anything for ella. so he began to lie.

the first time he lied, it ate him up inside. the simple three words, eight letters phrase was hard to say when you don’t actually mean it. 

but as jaemin found himself repeating the lie over and over again, the guilt that was always lingering in the back of his mind slowly went away until he had gotten used to it. 

it became natural for him to lie. 

to everyone and to himself

people always told him that it must be nice having a face like his, but every time he looked in the mirror, he felt nothing but hatred for the person staring back at him. 

at school, he did nothing but play the charming guy that everyone saw him as. he did things that would please the crowd and he felt good when they responded the way he wanted. he overlooked things that he once thought was wrong just to be in good graces with the others. 

when donghyuck had his little altercation with jeno, jaemin never felt more jealous in his life. donghyuck chose to be himself, he broke free of the mold that everyone fit him in. he had the courage that jaemin doesn’t

if someone told him to take off his persona, he wouldn’t know what to do. he’s lived this way for so long that he had forgotten who he really was. what he really wanted in life. what truly made him happy. 

was he even happy? jaemin didn’t know. 

which is why he didn’t know what to do when he overheard ella’s conversation with one of her other friends.

“do we really have to invite y/n too? i don’t want her do come with us to hoco. she’s such a party pooper.” 

“i don’t want to either, but i’m only keeping her around because she’s the reason why i’m with jaemin in the first place.” 

“isn’t weird that the two of them have been close friends for a while and she hasn’t had any feeling for him?”

“she did,” he hears ella admit. “until i told her that i liked jaemin and then she totally dropped him like that for me.”

“she’s kind of annoying though, always hanging around the two of you. she’s kinda clingy too, no one even likes her in our group.” 

“just deal with her for now and we can ice her out later.” 

FAKE BITCHES 

anyways, jaemin didn’t know what to do so he walked away and pretended that he didn’t hear the conversation. but there's only so much he can just ignore, and this is one of them. 

the familiar guilt comes crawling up every time he sees you, smiling with the people that called themselves your “friends”.

it doesn’t take long for jaemin to come to the realization that he’s surrounded by liars. and enough is enough. 

well, he still has an image to maintain. 

so he chose to break up with ella and actually tell the truth for once, but only to her. to be honest, the truth was kinda forced to come out by itself. 

“what do you mean that you’re not going?” he hears ella’s frantic voice and the music playing in the background. maybe it wasn’t a good idea to do the breaking up part the night of homecoming. 

good work, jaemin. 

“i don’t think that this is going to work between us. i’m sorry” 

was he really? 

“but you said that you loved me!” 

that was just a lie. he thought to himself. “i just don’t feel the same anymore, ella, please understand.” i never did. 

“it’s because of her isn’t it? you’ve been in love with y/n this whole time haven’t you?” and jaemin’s blood runs cold. 

the music was gone, so ella must have gone to a more quieter, private place. 

“i’m not blind jaemin. the way you looked at her, the way you always find yourself next to her; i saw it all,” ella begins “i knew ever since you said yes to me.” 

“then why didn’t you say anything? you just let me lie to you like that?” 

“lying is the best solution, jaemin, you should know that the best.” 

lying is bad kids, don’t do - admin minnie

jaemin could already feel the backlash he was going to receive. he spent the entire hoco night at home preparing himself for the shit that was going to go down the next day at school. 

except nothing happened to him. 

you had received the hatred, the eyeing, the whispers. you were the one that was iced out, outcasted, not jaemin.

jaemin was too afraid for the same thing happening to him, so he turned his head the other way. 

“i just don’t understand why everyone is giving y/n the silent treatment. why are they mad at her? what did she do?” jaemin shrugs at jeno’s angry rant. 

jeno had the right to be mad, you were dragged in to be jaemin’s scapegoat. 

“and why did you break up with ella anyways? i thought everything was going good?” 

“i was bored.”

it was pure irony and the biggest bitch slap in jaemin’s face that you had befriended lee donghyuck, the one person that he envied so wholeheartedly. 

jaemin couldn’t do anything, no, he didn’t want to do anything he didn’t want to step out of the little safety persona that he created for himself. he didn’t want to lose all the people that surrounded him. he doesn’t want to be alone. 

he hates being alone. 

he’ll much rather take on the role of the fuckboy that he hates so much if that meant that people would still stick around him. 

which brings him to his current dilemma

“i don’t see why you don’t just put up the image and just go with ella to hoco,” art-hoe!renjun says as the two of them walk to english “the two of you are both going to be king and queen anyways, just go.” 

“maybe,” jaemin says, eliciting in a pointed glare from renjun 

“you can’t just ditch prom just because of her, this the last year and are you really going to go down as the prom king that didn’t show up to prom?” 

“i won’t win for sure, so there's really no point in me going,” jaemin replies

renjun rolls his eyes, and he taps a random passing student on the shoulder, “who do you think is going to win prom royalty this year?” he asks the stranger. 

without missing a beat, the student replies, “jaemin and ella, why?” 

and renjun’s face is the exact embodiment of i-told-you-so 

instead of that motivating jaemin to actually go, it actually made him WANT to skip out on the event even more 

“y/n ask to me to ask you if you gave ella all of the decorations for prom or something like that,” jeno tells him at lunch, causing jaemin’s eyes to drift over to you and haechan. 

he wonders what the two of you are talking about that has you smiling that hard. he wonders what haechan has that he doesn't. 

maybe its his natural-born charisma? not the artificial type that jaemin has mastered the act of. 

“earth to jaemin,” jeno waves a hand in front of his friend’s face. 

“sorry, yeah, i’m turning it in after school,” he replies, eyes lingering on you for one more second before focusing on the food on his tray, “besides, she could have asked me directly.” 

“she had dinner at my house last night,” jeno replies, “what’s got your panties in a twist anyway?” 

“not all of us is about to confess our feelings to our puppy crush, lover boy,” renjun pipes in. 

jeno’s ears turn a tinge of pink, but jaemin wasn't focused on that. 

and jeno might be a bit slow academically, but jaemin is his best buddy, his platonic soulmate.something was up.  

“you have three seconds to spill before i will actually expose where you were hoco sophomore year to y/n” jeno threatens 

“tell her, it’s not going to make a difference anyways,” jaemin pokes at his food “she has no interest in me what’s so over. i’m just another one of those fuckboys in her eyes.” 

jeno and renjun share a look, before renjun decides to break the news to jaemin 

“you haven’t been talking to her lately right?” renjun starts and jaemin nods

“the last time we talk was two weeks ago,” jaemin replies “she doesn’t have any other reason to interact with me like she does with jeno” 

“before we continue with this conversation, can the green-eyed monster please leave the room?” renjun takes a small jab at jaemin. 

“i’m not jealous,” jaemin looks up with an irked glare at renjun. 

“then did you really need to mention jeno?” renjun returns the look with an annoyed expression of his own

jaemin scoffs, “you don’t understand, so don’t say anything,”

“tell me what i don’t understand then? because right now i have feeling the only reason you’re so pent up and annoyed is that you’re jealous, jaemin.” 

“shut up,” jaemin snaps. “i’m not jealous.” 

smiley and easy-going jaemin is gone out the door. everything coming out of renjun’s mouth is making him angrier and angrier and jaemin didn’t even know why. 

renjun was speaking the truth. jaemin was jealous, but was he going to admit that? 

nope

“it’s okay to be jealous,” jeno says, meaning to ease the slowly growing tension, but jeno’s attempts to mediate the conversation made jaemin even madder. 

“can the two get the fuck off my case and leave me alone? i’m not jealous so stop acting like you know how i feel,” jaemin clenches his jaw “it’s really fucking annoying.” 

“oh really now?” renjun fires back “it’s really fucking annoying how you expect the two of us to have your back, which we always do, and be fully okay with you going around town acting like a man whore and then being prissy about how the girl you’re interested in this time isn’t interested in you. this isn’t some type of cliche teen romance movie jaemin, grow a pair and deal with it.” 

“so you think i’m a man whore too?” jaemin says sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “nice to know that my best friends think so highly of me.” 

“jaemin, you know he doesn’t mean it like that,” jeno says. 

“then what? it seems to me that you guys have been having a blast talking behind my back and lying about it to my face.” 

“when did we say that?” jeno’s eyebrows furrow. 

“you don’t need to say it for me to know,” jaemin spits “it’s written all over your faces.” 

“i’m done,” renjun stands up, “when you’re ready to grow the fuck up and stop being a fucking dick bag, then find me.” 

jaemin doesn’t even bother watching renjun leaving the table, anger was still consuming him. was it anger or frustration? 

there was scream lodged in his throat that he wanted to release to the world. a pained scream of helplessness. 

“hey jaemin,” jeno has a hard look on his face. he too stands up and leaves with some hard-hitting words, “learn to get over that ridiculously big ego of yours. not everything is about you.” 

and jaemin is left at the lunch table

alone 

fuck, he thinks to himself. fuck everything. 

yeah, no way in hell was jaemin going to prom. no fucking way. 

“looks like there’s trouble in paradise,” haechan gestures with his head to the table, near the center. 

jaemin’s table, except, it’s literally only jaemin sitting there. 

out of the corner of your eyes, you could see and angry renjun followed by an equally ticked of jeno stalking off. 

“looks like the pretty boy is left by himself,” haechan remarks. “i wonder what happened?  

“why are you saying that like you know what just went down?” you squint your eyes at the boy, who merely shrugs. 

“spill” 

“give me fifty bucks.” 

“fuck off” 

not long after, you hear a loud slam. jaemin stands up, his eyes quickly met yours and he looked away, going with haste out the cafeteria’s doors.

and you’re left wondering what the fuck went down at the norenmin table. 

“okay, i’m done with all the fucking vague answers,” you stare down haechan, trying to intimidate an answer out of the stoner. 

 “why the fuck did jaemin not go to homecoming sophomore year and do not give me a smartass answer because i will without a doubt flush your weed stash down the drain and break your juul pens to bits. now, spill.” 

damn, y/n going in for the kill

haechan hesitates before a sigh leaves his lips, “i don’t pride myself on much other than my ridiculously good looks and my ability to bargain good weed deals, but long long before i became so awesome-”

“cut to the chase” 

“chill, bitch, i was getting there. anyways, i was basically jaemin’s confide,” haechan admits. “that’s why he’s so awkward around me, i basically know all of his personal secrets and all that jazz.” 

and you’re shocked bc haechan is really reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllly petty with both of the ts bolded, and he has not once let any private info slip about jaemin, like the kind of deep shit, you’d write in your diaries. 

not once sober or faded or drunk. the loud ass himself kept his lips seals which is an incredible feat already. 

“don’t look at me like that, i’m a dick, but i’m not that big of dick,” haechan mutters “we all have things we don’t want the world to know “ 

“okay i won’t question that, but why didn’t he just go? i mean it’s just a school dance, right? its not that big of deal,” you don’t understand the extreme mystery or drama around jaemin’s non-appearance. 

haechan shakes his head, “jaemin isn’t a simple as people make him out as, sure he fucks around with girls a lot, but like me, he wasn’t always like that.” 

you nod in understanding, agreeing with the point haechan made

jaemin for sure wasn’t the same person that you knew right now. he was always a sweet boy with sweet words, but before high school, he never went around messing around with other girls

“the only choice that jaemin ever made his sophomore year that was his actual choice for his own self was to not go to homecoming, for a good reason too”

“can you be a little bit more detailed?” you urged again, curiosity flowing through you.

“he didn't go because for once he didn't want to be associated with that crowd, he didn't want to be surrounded by people who hardly gave a damn how he felt, only who he was”

haechan’s words reside in you for the longest time and you finally got a glimpse of what your normally stoned friend meant through an accidental eavesdrop of a conversation

“im not going ella, it's final,” jaemin’s voice has no trace of the playful, flirty tone it usually held. he was stern and hard with his words.

“are you really going to embarrass me again, jae?” ella sounded desperate “its just one dance. all you have to do is stand by my side and smile until we get those stupid crowns and take yearbook pictures”

“if you think they’re stupid crowns then why are you making me go?” jaemin argues back.

“you should be glad that i even helped you with your campaign. why else do you think everyone is voting for you?”

and jaemin’s voice goes to a lower, warning tone, “i’ve never ask to be nominated for royalty much less fucking prom king. i don't care what you or anyone has to say, i’m not fucking going to prom.”

your eyes meet jaemin’s as he walks past the aisle you were standing at (totally not peeping into his convo)

he has an emotionless face on and doesn't say anything as he leaves ella quickly follows but stops when she sees you.

“forget everything you heard, he’s going to prom!”

jokes on you ella, bc hes not going anywhere

guess who joined the i’m-ditching-school-because-i’m-an-emotional-wreck club!!

the next three days were hectic at school, everyone was excited for the big dance on saturday. there were last-minute promposals and girls were showing off their sparkly, expensive dresses to each other.

however, the one person that was missing and had you looking for all week was, na jaemin.

where the fuck was he now?

“have you seen jaemin? i haven't seen him at school lately,” you asked jeno, who was sitting in the library diligently waiting for his tutor/crush to arrive.

the number of times you received an “idk” from one of jaemin’s other friends was ridiculous and it was like they didn’t even care that he skipped school for three days or where he was. 

jaemin might be a bit on the wild side, but he’s not the type to completely ditch school for three whole days straight. that was haechan’s job. 

the only people you could rely on was jeno and renjun, but the latter was more agitated at jaemin than jeno was, so you figured that the athlete was the safer option. 

“i have an idea of where he is, but i have a feeling he doesn't want to see anyone, especially today,” jeno replies. news of the norenmin argument traveled quickly around the school along with the fact that jaemin had rejected ella’s prom request. there were some rumors that were being spread about the male and they weren’t all that nice. 

you knew deep inside that the two of them weren’t actually mad at jaemin, they (especially jeno) was just frustrated.

“can you slide the address though?” you asked, sliding up next to him

“why would i do that?”

“because you owe me a solid”

truthfully, you didn’t know what you were going to do with jaemin’s address and it’s been weighing you down the whole day. 

“you going to prom?” haechan slides into the seat next to you. for once, there were no sunglasses covering his eyes. 

you shook your head,” i don’t have anyone to go with.” 

“you should have just asked mark to go with you,” haechan pointed out to which you gagged loudly. 

“as if i would bring an actual twelve-year-old boy to prom, he’ll probably say let’s get it every two seconds and then my hand might just actually slip and punch his face or dunk his head into the disgusting kool-aid punch..” 

“damn, and i thought i hated him.” 

you rolled your eyes, “what about you? did you plan to confess to mina yet?” 

“i was thinking about going old school and do one of those typical high school romeo and juliet scenes,” haechan said smugly. “might throw a shoe or two if i have to.” 

you shake your head in disbelief, “be civil at least.” 

“but i also can’t leave my main bitch alone for prom night so why don’t go to prom or hang out with the biggest thot in town?” haechan suggested.

“haechan, ten graduated high school like 3 years ago. i doubt he wants to spend his free time on a saturday night at a high school dance with me.” 

facepalm.

 “i’m not talking about that ultimate thot.” 

“jungwoo is also in college.” 

another fat facepalm.

“honestly, i thought you had at least ONE functioning brain cell,” haechan groaned “i’m talking about na jaemin.” 

“what do you want me to do with him? the two of us aren’t exactly friends,” you mumble.

“exactly, use this time to spend some time with him or something. get closer or get laid, i don’t care, just don’t be a loner tomorrow,” haechan replies. “i can’t be friends with a lameo.”  

“he hasn’t shown up for school in like three days and tomorrow is prom night,” you argue “besides, i don’t know where he’s even at.” 

“that’s the fattest lie i have ever heard leave your mouth and you told mr. moon that his moon tie looked good on him. i know for a fact that you have his address saved on your phone, which is kinda creepy now that i think about it, but that’s beside the point.”

 “why do you care so much? i thought you hated him,” you eyed haechan weirdly. 

“because that moron needs someone to help him out and whose more suited for the job herself than the girl that was hopelessly in love with him all sophomore year.” 

you smack his arm,”i should have never trusted you with my diary. besides, i don’t like him like that anymore.” 

“then why do you worry about him so much?” haechan pointed out. ‘why did you go to jeno for jaemin’s whereabouts if you supposedly didn’t like him anymore.” 

“caring about someone is different from liking them,” you chided him “you should know best since it took you months to realize that you were in love with mina.” 

“stfu i’m supposed to be the wise teacher and you’re the young grasshopper.” haechan shushed you with a finger which you swatted away. 

“i’m not joking around though, just go see what’s up,” haechan nudged you. “trust me, it’s worth it.” 

“wow did love turn the hardest bitch in town, soft?” 

“you know, i might actually just push you off stoner’s cliff one day when you’re not looking,” haechan narrowed his eyes at you. 

“lol, as if i haven’t noticed that you haven’t been getting high since mina left your pathetic ass,” you pointed out. 

and haechan h i s s e s. 

but your stoner friend did have a point and you decide to listen to his advice for the first time in your life. 

letting out a nervous breath, you rang the doorbell, a plastic bag full of junk food in your other hand. it was currently 8 pm and prom had already started. jaemin’s car was parked in the driveway, proving that he really didn’t go to prom. 

“what are you doing here?” were the first words out of jaemin’s mouth when he saw you. 

you raised the bag full of snacks, “do you wanna have that hang out now?” 

there's a nervous feeling in your stomach, bc you don’t know if jaemin was going to reject you or not. he doesn’t have his usual cassanova, playful smile on. his face is completely neutral. 

“don’t you have better things to do? like, go to prom?” 

you awkwardly laugh, “about that, i’m not going.” 

“why?” 

“why aren’t you going?” you countered. 

fair enough, jaemin relents and moves aside to let you in. there’s some lo-fi music playing in the background and a couple of books and paper strewn about the living room floor. 

“my parents are on a business trip, so it’s just me,” jaemin informs you. 

“cool,” you internally smack yourself bc jaemin didn’t really seem happy with ur sudden appearance. “were you just doing ur homework?”

“yeah, i have nothing else to do,” he says, cleaning up the area for u to sit. you sit down carefully and placed the bag of snacks at the base of your feet.

“did you want anything to drink?” jaemin moved to go into the kitchen. you shook your head but jaemin still pulled out two water bottles from the fridge. (save the turtles)

you look around the house, taking in the family portraits and the minimal home decor. you’ve only been to jaemin’s house a handful of times as a kid, and a lot has changed in those past few years, but some things stayed the same. on the fireplace mantle, there was a framed picture of norenminhyuck smiling with the brightest grins.

“jeno gave me crap for weeks for not taking down that picture of us four,” jaemin followed your gaze as places the two water bottles on the glass coffee table.

“why didn’t you take it down, then?” you curiously ask

taking a seat on the couch, jaemin shrugged, “sentimental value?”

and the two left it at that.

cue the awkward silence.....

“jaemin?”

he looks at you with a questioning glance

“why exactly did you and ella break up?”

jaemin lets out a sigh. he’s been anticipating the question but not now and definitely not your sudden appearance. 

“there's no point in making excuse to you,” jaemin pauses before continuing “i never really liked her in the first place.”

and you look over in shock? bc the two of them were literally the couple of the year, a model example of a high school relationship.

“then why?”

“why did i say yes?” jaemin’s gaze was focused on you, leaving you unnerved. there was no sign of the cheeky jaemin, he looked completely serious. something no one really saw that often. “because thats what you wanted me to say.”

????????? - y/n’s mind

“jeno had told me that ella had urged you to introduce me to her and had confessed to you that she liked me. he told me you felt tasked with fulfilling her wish and took it upon your self to set the two of us up. i’m not stupid, y/n. i could tell by the way you planned double-dates with jeno and ella and i,” jaemin explained. there was slight embarassment on your side, sophomore you was not the best matchmaker. “but i only showed up for you. i could care less that ella was there, the only person that i wanted to see and impress was you.”

“i-“

“and i knew that you liked me too. i was expecting for you to confess to me when you told me to meet you behind the gym, but you let ella take the chance.”

“because she really liked you a lot, jaemin, and she was a close friend of mine”

“so you were willing to give up your happiness for someone who was using you to get to me?” jaemin asked bluntly.

you looked down at your fingers, feeling somewhat ashamed, “i was only worried about fitting in with the crowd at that time. i wanted people to like me.” you confessed. “after the whole fiasco, i learned to live for myself rather than for others, albeit with a little help from haechan.”

“you see, i wish i could be as brave as you to do that.” jaemin meekly smiles at you “because i’m still people-pleasing.”

“i only said yes to ella to make you happy but then everyone was congratulating me and there were more and more people by my side. i thought jeno, renjun, and donghyuck were enough to last me through high school, but the attention got to my head. i knew that no matter how much i hated ella, i couldn’t break up with because i thrive off the crowd she brought me. i thought that if i lie enough, i could make myself gain feelings for her. she was a kind and outgoing person, so i didn't think it would be that hard, except it never did happen,” jaemin sucked in his breath “i overheard a conversation by accident to one of her other friends and it was about you, about how they just used to you to get to me even though the knew you liked me. i knew that then i was surrounded by so many liars all with the same goal of getting in good with everyone.”

he continued on “the reason why i didn't want to go to hoco was bc i felt guilty. i didn't want to be another person that lived for the crowd and i knew that i would've sealed my future if i did go and get crowned king with ella. for once, i didn't want to be a liar. i just wanted to be myself.”

and then he bitterly chuckled to himself, “which is ironic since the next day i chased after the crowd again. i let you take the blame for me just because i was afraid of being outcasted even though it was my fault you had to suffer the consequences of my lie.”

“jaemin-“

“and then i kept pretending to be that stupid fuckboy that everyone painted me as just to be in the it-crowd or whatever. i don’t have anything special like how renjun has art and jeno has his sports, even haechan had something special like choir back in those days. i had nothing, i wasn’t known for anything and i’m still not known for anything other than being a fuckboy. i’m just na jaemin at the end of the day, talented in messing around with girls.”

“do you feel happy?” you carefully asked after jaemin finished his rant. 

jaemin’s barely smiling at this point, “what do you think?” 

“you know, i was never really mad about you about the whole ella situation,” you scooted closer to him on the couch. “at first, i blamed you because that was the easier option, pin the blame on someone else. until a certain someone told me to fuck what they say and live my own way.” 

“haechan?” 

you nodded, “he was the first person that i didn’t pretend or try to cater myself to fit his needs. we’re alike in that department, jaemin, we both want to be liked. i’m not going to lie, the first few months of being outcasted was hard on me. sometimes, i still get sad when i think about the day where everyone just abandoned me.” 

“i’m sorry.” 

“there’s no need to be sorry, jaemin because i can hardly care about it that much anymore. do you know why?” 

jaemin shook his head ‘no’

“because i learned that being by myself isn’t that bad. we’re all scared of being lonely, it’s human nature, but our fears often cause us to forget that we still have ourselves.” you placed a hand on his shoulder “once you learn to befriend yourself, no one’s opinion will matter more than your own. learn to cater to yourself, learn to live for yourself. don’t just be you, live as you.” 

“easier said than done,” the remark left jaemin’s lips bitterly, causing you to slightly frown. “it’s hard to learn to be friends with myself when i’m the person i hate the most. i hate the person who looks back at me in the mirror. i hate just hate what i’ve let myself become.”

“it’s never too late to change,” you say. 

jaemin shook his head, he blinked quickly to clear his now glassy eyes, “it’s to the point where i don’t even know i am anymore.” 

“you’re na jaemin,” you say with a little more force this time. you didn’t like the defeated tone that jaemin was talking in, this wasn’t the confident and every positive boy that you grew up with. this wasn’t the boy that stole your heart in the third grade and kept it till sophomore year. “the boy that never hesitates to help someone else and can light up the room with just one smile.” 

“you don’t have to pity me, it was a grave i dug for myself.” 

letting out a harsh sigh, you moved to take jaemin’s face into your hands, staring deep into his doe-eyed brown ones, which widened in response to your sudden action. 

big moves, y/n, big moves 

“i know it may be hard to see, but jaemin you’re way more than what they think of you. you can always change as long as you have the will to do so,” you wipe away a stray tear that was falling onto his cheek. jaemin didn’t even notice that he was crying. “it’s a difficult and long process, but it’ll be worth it in the end. trust me.” 

“what if no one wants to be around me anymore? what if i end up alone? “ doubt filled his tone, and your eyes soften at the vulnerability of the boy. he was scared, lost, and confused. 

“i’ll be with you. anywhere you’re at, i’ll be there by your side even if no one else will. you’re a precious person, you don’t deserve any less,” you smiled. “i won’t let you be alone.” 

maybe jaemin was just being emotional. maybe it was the contained feelings that he held for you that was being released. maybe it was the way you looked at him with so much concern and the way you delicately held his face. 

whatever motivated him to do what he was going to do next, jaemin could hardly care less. 

without any hesitation, jaemin leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

right now, jaemin didn’t feel lost or alone. you found him and he hoped that you’ll stay. 

#na jaemin #na jaemin scenarios #na jaemin imagines #na jaemin au #na jaemin fluff #nct dream #nct dream au #nct dream imagines #nct dream angst #jeno #jaemin #jaemin au #jaemin scenarios #jaemin imagines #jaemin fluff #jaemin fanfic #nct fancfic #nct au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fluff #haechan #highschool au #renjun #huang renjun #lee jeno #lee donghyuck #lee haechan #kpop #kpop imagines

[seoafin]

jjk & tower of god chapter on the same day,,, i spent all of my brainjuice talking abt tog w some friends + working on my wip so this one might be incoherent LMAO but nsjdhfjd this my 2 cents for the chp (1) - 🐱

first of all, the zenins shld just eat shit 🥰 the bar is just nonexistant now 😭😭😭

also maki’s mother said sth that hits way too close to home for me too🥴

the maki & mai, megumi & tsumiki "make a place where they are happy” parallels...mai,, maki wanted a place where u'd be happy!!! 😭😭😭 good points abt any interesting nuances the original jpn might have had though

ALSO MUSCLE MAKI IS HERE

and lmao megumi's "ew no" face ,,, i didn't think he could make a face like that JDJJDJD ,, once again i think his outsider-insider status is interesting but the amount of ppl counting on him/leaning on him bc of strategic position is a lot. ig this is what kamo meant by supporting the 3 families,,,, gojou indeed is playing the long game. megumi in the meantime, very persistent in not getting more involved in clan politics, not using power that is offered to him, or leveraging it - in a way it is good, and it also makes sense with "stress is other ppl" but is interesting from a structural pov. megumi may not rly give a shit abt the rest of the jujutsu world. if the ppl close to him are affected, then he cares. otherwise, forget it.

also im interested in power implications here bcs it sound a little like there’s a slight split b/w leadership and everyday zenins and im curious what it's like if u have no connection to the top of the clan,, and again higher ups being unaffiliated with the 3 clans so they have to appeal to them. curious what other talents the gojou clan have and what they're known for bc clearly it's not just gojou, they still have power without him and still have a stake in the shifting power structure. kamo must be busy too...

MAKIIIIII ,,, honestly my heart hurts a little seeing her getting beat up in recent chapters. but i’m rly happy,, shes FINALLY getting the focus she deserves and i’m confident she will make a recovery and she IS in fact the one leading efforts on the zenin side. im rly hopeful she can take over the clan one day and no longer say she's not good enough

that stomach wound is bad news though so im wondering how she will come back from that,, that she didn't know her own father's abilities says a lot, too. i wonder if she could see the extension of his blade, or if she hasn't been able to see/understand many ppl abilities

im hopeful for next chp now. u can do it maki!!!!

flashing back on these bits, it makes more sense now why megumi wasn't melting down post-shibuya,, seems most information came to him in a sort of timely and calm way? also i rly have to wonder if gojou did not spend a decade plotting in front him bcs he's done it before,,,, like the whole clan head scene in megumi's middle school years....in a way i imagine he wouldve seen that gojou come out of the high school and watch him get more serious as he acquired even more skin in the game

all the time though i wonder abt megumi's tendency toward inertia and nonaction to things that would seemingly give him power and trying to understand it and that IS him being selfish and that IS,, imo the biggest indication of what he actually does or doesn't want. he wants it, he will act and work on it immediately himself. he doesn't like it? act like it doesn't exist. it make me want to shake him around like NO!! megumi pay attention!!! But his reaction to this clan stuff is a contrast to his behavior in recent chapters imo

and more mahjong references,,, between this and yuuji’s pachinko,, i wonder abt the undercurrent of gambling haha. a gamble for the shaman world and who will come out on top? a contrast to the flowy ocean imagery that connects shaman stuff out to the rest of the world

also this ,,,, there's that one jp tweet (i cant find it again😞) that talks about how toji, as the point of distortion, created megumi, who is currently playing a potential convergence/healing/uniting role (if he actually takes it on as a responsibility lol) and connects this back to the medicine buddha,,, whose mudra (hand sign) is used for chimera shadow garden. with the commentary abt ppl with heavenly restriction needing to know what to throw away in order to become strong or tap into their full strength and toji’s commentary at the end of fight with gojou,,  i actually always felt that toji died not having been entirely resolved with himself bc he talks abt going against the self that decided to forget abt self-respect, to live without thinking abt himself or others,,, in a way, living selfishly, for himself, by ignoring anything immediate and i think he succeeded for a while bc he didnt even remember megumi's name. he remembers it when he talks to getou abt him being thankful for toji not killing him bc of potential drawbacks

and at the very end he thinks of megumi again and that last act does think of someone else, like a "life before your eyes" moment where toji thinks about how the zenin's treatment of him led him there or how his return to shibuya ends with him remembering how he gave megumi back to the zenin,,, i think atm of his death he was starting to think he did want to care, in a different way, or that he needed a different paradigm. or,, maybe he was just starting to realize how far the zenin thinking had set into him

so we dont rly talk abt that being an enlightenment moment for toji but i kind of think it was. that megumi has the potential to become a pivotal piece as a legacy of distortion is interesting. i dont actually think toji set up everything intentionally bc he didnt know megumi's ability, and i dont think he wouldve thought that far. i think a lot of the heir and inheritance stuff is sth naobito set in after seeing megumi's development under gojou. it's clear now everyone has been keeping eyes on everyone else

at some point there's some interesting discussion to be had abt megumi and privilege - i'm surprised the canon characters dont hate him more for having stuff just fall into his lap, and so i liked that maki pointed this out that he could use this and he shld bc theres a frustration there - and yet at the same time megumi himself seemingly feels very little attachment to the zenin and the shaman world still. he just cares abt his little circle of people, and it's a very intentional choice, based on his good/bad ppl thing

u cant really affect the entire world, but u can assert urself on the environment around u and decide what u do and dont act on. this part of megumi is more teenage boy and kind of toji-like, i think,,, hence the emphasis on action

u express ur effect and existence through action, who u kill or who u save. toji having very little, while so much falls into megumi's lap while he doesn't want it, doesn't want to acknowledge it, likely doesn't want to take part in a system he doesn't like or, having been raised under gojou's wing, resents or finds corrupt or useless, or doesn't even think on bc he thinks its above his pay grade and gojou's there - this is also megumi's moment to solidify his own direction and commit to working in the system or out of it

the "not caring" is a defensive measure in a way too, i think. i dont think megumi is Big Good and wants to save everyone and everything and the world to be good and pure, i tend to think of him as a resigned chaotic neutral, who wishes he could be good orz

ANYWAY i think there's some interesting juxtapositions with the whole toji > megumi thing, that someone who is born without, restricted, births and creates someone full of blessings. its very shaman-like, action then reaction

AND i wish u luck on ur final paper (bless ur eyes to see incels bc i’ll just log off for the day when i saw one (1) of them on the net) AND DONT FORGET TO TAKE A REST,, the self care is much needed me thinks <333 (2) - 🐱

i love u 🥺🥺😭😭😭 you take care of yourself too!!!

also ur right...all this political intrigue im so curious i need to know how the jujutsu world is structured in terms of the higher ups and the clans. like i assumed that the three clan elders WERE to some extent also part of the higher ups???? but now it seems that the higher ups are a separate entity altogether, so like checks and balances i suppose. except both the higher ups and the clans are corrupt so no balance there 😭

the chapter implied the zenins are losing when it comes to the power struggle between the three clans. im interested. i want to see them all rot!!! like i also said though it’s going to be interesting to see the state of the kamo clan though, considering “noritoshi kamo.” like what do you even say to that???? im going to be surprised if it doesn’t affect their standing in the jujutsu world but then again the kamo clan IS one of the big three.

megumi really is a character that was blessed in all regards but like. doesn’t want anything to do with it LOL he really said ‘this is a pain no thanks.’ like gojo like megumi i suppose. i agree with u the whole toji and megumi set up....genius....i also love their juxtaposition. it’s so interesting and another source of irony.

#MAKI THOUGH......MAKIIIIIII #that stomach wound was worrying tbh at first i was like??? what is that panel even. but now.......ughhhhhh #🐱 anon

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 5)

Bakugo X Reader 

Words: 3060 

*****************************************************************************************************

You watched as your boss... former boss scurried away in fear. Doing exactly what Bakugo said. He packed his shit up and left. You were tapping your foot in frustration as you spun around to face the source of your anger. “Why did you do that?”

Bakugo’s eyes widened. Not expecting you to be angry with him for protecting you, “What the fuck? What do you mean why did I do that? He grabbed your ass! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! He said he was going to make your life difficult!”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “So what? You threaten to blow up his face? That doesn't make you any better than him. You're better than that Bakugo.”

Bakugo began to pace running his hands through his hair like a madman, “Look I’m sorry if you have this idealistic nice guy hero version of me stuck in your head, but I have news for you. I’m only that guy... when it concerns you! To everyone else in the world I’m an asshole with a bad temper. I’m not going to apologize for making a scumbag who violated you, piss his pants. He deserved much worse than what he got.”

You could see he was beginning to work himself up and knew it wouldn't do any good to push him so instead you took a deep breath and sat down on the couch pulling him with you. You held his hand in yours, playing with his fingers. “Listen I know who you are. I would never in a million years try to change you. But I do think sometimes its important to pick your battles. Remember there’s a difference between villains and just plain, every day bad people. Yes Riku was an asshat and a sleezeball. But there’s plenty of ways to deal with a guy like him that dosen’t involve threats and violence.” You scooted closer and leaned your head on his stiff shoulder, “I appreciate that you care about me. But at some point you’re going to have to let me fight my own battles...” 

You felt him sigh and moments later his arm was slug around you, pulling you closer. “Do I have to?” He put his chin on top of your head, “You’ve already had to fight most of your life Y/n... I don't stick up for you because I don’t think you’re capable. I’ve seen your dreams... I know exactly how capable you are.” You flinched. You had no idea you had been sucking him into your dreams. “I stick up for you because you shouldn't have to fight anymore. You deserve to be happy and anyone who thinks otherwise deserves a foot up their ass.” 

A single tear slid down your cheek. The only time you had ever felt like this before was... your dad. This sense of protection, devotion... was it love? Is this what love felt like? You knew there were many different forms of love. Books had taught you that much. But this didn't feel like a friendly platonic love. This burned so much deeper in your heart than that. 

Bakugo lifted your chin so he could see your face, “Shit are you crying? I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have brought up your dreams. I’m an idio-” 

You reached up and gave him a soft peck on the lips. It felt so right. It felt so normal, like it was something you had been doing your whole life. “I’m not crying because I’m sad Bakugo... I’m crying because... well... I actually don't know why.. relief maybe? I’ve never had someone care about me the way that you do.. For a while I never thought I would. I never thought someone could ever....”

You cut yourself off. You almost said ‘love me’ but you couldn't put those words in his mouth. They needed to be his own.

You cast your eyes to your lap but Bakugo’s warm hand cupped your cheek and brought your eyes back to him. “Love you... is that what you were going to say?” 

Your eyes watered in embarrassment. You had never wanted Bakugo to see this fragile part of you. “So what if it was?”

Bakugo pressed his forehead to yours, “So what if I do?” 

Your heart started to pound as you rapidly tried to blink your tears away. “I would say theres plenty of girls out there who are easier to love than me.” 

He had your face cupped between both of hands now “I don’t want easy... I want you.” 

Your lips crashed against his in a much hungrier kiss than before. Your fingers ran through his soft blonde hair and one of his hands trailed down to find your hip. Things were heating up when you heard someone shout. 

“FINALLY” You both jerked apart to see Tasha giving you a goofy smile, “It’s about fucking time! I’ve literally watched you guys tip toe around each other for weeks now!” She continued to wipe down the counter, “Oh sorry for eavesdropping but it honestly was hard not to. I called the owner by the way. Everything’s good here. Looks like I got a promotion and you got a raise. Happy day.” She looked up from the machine she was currently cleaning, “I’ll teach you how to do this some other night. I think you too should get home and continue your uh... conversation.” 

Your jaw dropped, “Tasha I-”

Before you could protest Bakugo was up and hauled you over his shoulder, “Don’t have to fucking tell me twice. Good night Tasha! I’m sure I’ll see you soon!”

You waved at a laughing Tasha as you dangled over Bakugo’s shoulder. She just shook her head, “Be safe! Drink plenty of water! Remember to pee when you’re done!.. Oh and take snack breaks!”

You blushed so hard you were sure you were a darker shade of red than Bakugo’s eyes. 

He stepped outside and put you down on the sidewalk and reached for your hand. You walked in silence for what seemed like forever. His hand gave yours a gentle squeeze, “So are we going to talk about it oooooor?” 

You leaned into him a bit, “I guess I’m still trying to process everything.”

He tensed up a bit but tried to not let it show, “You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

You shook your head and snuggled further into his side, “Of course not I ju-”

He interrupted you, “Because I wouldn't blame you if you were. I know I’m an asshole. I know you deserve a lot more than me...”

You stopped walking dragging him to a complete halt along with you. You could see the apprehension in his eyes. He was nervous. THE Ground Zero was standing in front of you actually looking a bit scared. “Bakugo, how could you say that. You’ve done nothing but take care of me since I got here. You may not think so but you are patient, and kind, and caring. You just show it in weird ways. If anything I don't deserve you.”

He groaned and pulled you to his chest, “How many fucking times do I have to tell you that you deserve to be happy. You deserve the fucking world. You deserve to be loved, and protected, and cherished. So god damnit just LET ME...you stubborn woman”

You giggled as you gave his chest a kiss, “Enough of this heavy shit. Take me home.”

You see the tips of his ears turn the slightest shade of pink as he leaned down and connected your lips. “Already so bossy.”

You took his hand as you continue towards the apartment, “Already so whipped?” You playfully bumped his hip with yours. 

He scoffed, “I’ve been whipped since day one. Catch up.” 

You immediately changed into one of his hoodies as soon as you got home and he went strait to the kitchen to start cooking dinner. You strolled past him and opened the fridge to get something to drink. You leaned over a bit to reach a bottled water near the back of the fridge, when you heard him drop the spoon he had just been using onto the counter. “Pants Y/n... I know you own some because I was the one who bought them... yet. you dont seem to wear any... ever. Are you trying to kill me?”

You wiggled your butt as you leaned further to finally grab the water, “Well I didnt wear any before and I dont see the point in starting now...”

When you straightened up you realized he was now standing right behind you. “You also seem to only want to wear my clothes. Not that I’m complaining.” He pressed his chest against your back, his breath hot on your neck. 

You leaned into him, “The only thing more comfortable than your clothes.. is when you hold me at night when you think I’m asleep. Nothing beats your strong arms wrapped around me. That’s the only time I can really sleep. Other than that.. your clothes are a close second.” 

His hands dipped beneath the hem of his hoodie that you were wearing, “Well I don’t know if I like the competition...” His hands drifted upwards over your naked stomach, barely grazing the underside of your breasts before he yanked them back down and spun you around to face him. Pressing you into the fridge behind you and gave your forehead a sweet kiss. “I also think I need to feed you considering you didnt eat lunch earlier.” He gave you another kiss on your lips this time, “So stop teasing me before I burn the food.” 

You reached to your tippy toes and gave him a kiss on his nose. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just wanted a bottle of water. You're the one who can't seem to control himself.” 

You had no idea where this new found confidence was coming from. You hadn't had any experience in any of this before. Flirting? nope.. relationships? nope.... Sex? BIG NOPE. Yet here you are. Figuring it out as you go. Total trust that he’s not going to hurt you. You turned away from him and headed towards the kitchen table. His hand came out of nowhere and gave your ass a playful swat. Which he immediately regretted. “Hey, I’m sorry. Was that too much? I’m trying to go at your pace but sometimes my instincts take over and-”

“You’re fine. I’ll let you know if it’s ever too much. I’m not fragile.”

He returned to his cooking, “Believe me I know you’re tough. But I don’t want to accidentally take advantage of you.” 

You sipped on your water bottle while you thought about it. “Well I guess I’ll have to trust that your intentions are in the right place and you’ll have to trust that I’ll let you know when I’m feeling overwhelmed.” 

He nodded, “Well my intentions may not be as pure as you’re thinking...” He gave you a devilish smirk, “But I would never intentionally hurt you.” 

You bit your lip, “Well that’s all I ask.”

That night was the first night you slept in Bakugo’s bed. Sure there had been a few times you had woken up to him in your bed but never had you slept in his. You curled up to his chest and intertwined your legs. His lips found the top of your head and mumbled a good night before sleep found both of you. 

It didn’t take you long to realize you were in his dreams. He didn’t know you were there though and it felt like an invasion of privacy. But it was just too cute to not watch. He was dreaming of you... on a lazy day around the apartment. But before you knew it, it was shifting into more of a steamy dream... So you backed out and let him have his little fantasy. He deserved a good night sleep for once.

The next morning he was up bright and early. Off to work another day as Ground Zero. He showered you with kisses before he finally dragged himself out of bed and headed out. 

You slept for a few more hours before getting up yourself. Wrapped in a blanket you made your way to the living room with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. You really enjoyed doing crossword puzzles in the morning. Bakugo teased you about it and called you a nerd, but he secretly thought it was adorable. 

And so this became your routine. Every night he would make you dinner. You’d go to bed. Sometimes you’d make out for a bit but never more than that. Then in the morning you either got up and got ready for work together or you'd sleep in and do a crossword puzzle. A week had passed by like this and honestly you were pretty content. 

Today was no different. You were almost finished with your puzzle when the phone rang. You assumed it was just Bakugo checking in on you so you shuffled over to pick it up. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Y/n! It’s Tash.”

“Oh hey Tasha.. was I supposed to work today?”

“Oh no! You don’t work again until tomorrow night. There was just... uh. This guy who came in looking for you. It as kind of weird. He said he was friends with your mom? Were you expecting anyone?”

Your blood ran cold, “No... he said he knew my mom?”

“Yeah, said they used to do business together or something. I didnt tell him you work here or wear you live or anything. But I thought you should know. I kind of heard more of your conversation with Bakugo the other night than I should have. Y/n if your in some kind of trouble...” 

You sighed, “Thanks Tasha but its something I’m going to have to figure out on my own. Sorry I need to call Bakugo. I may not be able to make it in tomorrow...”

“I understand... Take care of yourself.” 

“I will. Let me know if he comes back.”

You hung up the phone and paced for a bit. You needed to call Bakugo but he was going to go into strait panic mode. You worked up the nerve and dialed his number. 

The phone rang a few times before you heard it connect but it wasn’t Bakugo’s voice on the other end...

“Hello there y/n, funny you’d call. Bakugo and I were just talking about you.”

You sighed in relief, “Hey Kiri.. Usually I’d love to help you embarrass our favorite hot head, but right now I really need to talk to him.” 

You heard a muffled ‘dumbass’ followed by a scuffle before Bakugo got to the phone. “Sorry about that. Shitty hair doesn't really have boundaries... What’s going on? Are you okay?”

When you didnt answer right away he grew nervous. “Y/n what's wrong?”

You were chewing on your lip so hard it began to bleed. A bad habit you thought you had gotten rid of. “I dont know how... but. I think they found me..”

“WHAT?! How? Why? Whats going on? Are they there? I’m coming home.”

You could feel your breathing start to tighten as you tried to hold your panic back, “No they’re not here. But someone came looking for me at the coffee house. Tasha called me. They said they did business with my mom...” 

Bakugo cleared his throat, “So you know then? About what your mom did?”

You sniffled, “Of course I know. I still remember her handing me over. Telling me they were friends and I was going to have so much fun at ‘camp’”

You wiped a tear from your cheek as a loud knock on the door pulled you away from your thoughts.

“What was that?” Bakugo barked through the phone. 

“Someones at the door..”

“Y/n.. for the love of god dont answer it. You hear me. I’m on my way.”

You approached the door and looked through the peephole. “Relax it’s just the food I ordered.” 

“I dont fucking care! There’s food in the kitchen! Dont answer the fucking door!” 

The person knocked again. He looked innocent enough. “It’s just food Bakugo.” You opened the door. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but he was definitely yelling on his end of he phone. 

You paid the man and shut the door. You brought the phone up to your ear and wished you hadn't because he was going on a tangent. “Your life is in danger and what do you do? YOU OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FOOD!” 

You rolled your eyes, “I ordered a pizza. Meat lovers just the way you like it. You can finish yelling at me when you get here.” You hung up. Which you regretted as soon as you did it. He was just trying to keep you safe. 

You tossed the pizza on to the kitchen table and took a seat. You were too anxious to even think about eating right now. What felt like only seconds later Bakugo was bursting through the front door. “Well it’s good to know that you opened the door and risked your life for a pizza you aren't even going to eat...” 

He took the seat next to you and pulled his chair over so he was right in front of you. He reached out and took your hands, “I know this is scary. I know you'd rather pretend it wasnt happening. But it is. And we need to figure our shit out okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you. But you need to listen to me. I cant do what I need to do to keep you safe if you don’t listen.”

You wordlessly nodded your head.

He sighed and reached for the lid to the pizza box. “No reason to let this go to waste.”

He opened it up and paused, “Pack your shit we’re leaving...”

Your head snapped up, “What?”

He stood up and sprinted towards his room, “I said we’re leaving!”

You looked at the open pizza box and gasped. 

The underside of the lid had a message, “Not even Ground Zero can keep you safe.”

*****************************

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#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #Katsuki Bakugō #bhna bakugou #bakugo x reader #bakugo imagine #bakugo x y/n #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #mha imagines #mha bakugou #mha x reader #my hero academia

[wayward-mikaelson]

Centuries-One

Word Count: 2571

Characters: Reader, Dean, Sam, Cas, Jack, Crowley (Mentioned), Lucifer (mentioned), Maggie (mentioned)

About: The reader wakes in a field with no memory of how she got there. She calls the only person she knows she can trust. When the reader finds out that she was gone for a year, she starts to doubt that given the only lead on her blank memory is the phone she found in her pocket. The reader is also made aware of Deans behavior and can’t wait to get to him.

Warnings: Language, Blood, Fluff, Angst

A/N: Read Devilish Angel before you start this one! 

A/N 2: If you want to be tagged, Comment below! 

A/N 3: I love feedback and I love it when my readers guess where the story is going to go.

TAG LIST: @donnaintx​ @myinconnelly1​ @magssteenkamp​ @elansaidaris​ @squirrelnotsam​ 

18+ CONTENT. CHILDREN MOVE ALONG. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

**PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY WORK AND POST IT ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I ALSO POST MY WORK ON IG, WATTPAD AND AO3 BEFORE HAND TO AVOID PEOPLE STEALING MY WORK. I ALSO SAVE THESE INTO FILES WITH DATES AND TIMES TO AVOID THIS AS WELL***

You know, nothing really prepares you for death. You can face it many times and beat it but, there will always be that one time where it just creeps up on you. Then boom. Black. You're gone. Either you go up or you go down.

I ended up doing both.

The last few moments of my life I remember so clearly.

I was in that field with Sam and we were fighting angels and trying to save Dean. Trying to break him free from Michaels hold. But I knew I wouldn't make out of this once that angel grabbed hold of me. Once my body had passed through the Gates of Heaven, I saw darkness for a brief moment then I saw heaven. My soul slowly turned into my human form. I saw a few angels standing there and then, something happened. Something dark and something powerful took hold of me and pulled me from heaven.

I felt myself being dragged further and further from the pure and clean energy I felt in Heaven. I felt myself being pulled down to something much more darker and much more sinister. Then it stopped. I was able to open my eyes and find that I was in my body. A body that should not exist at this point because it became tiny little molecules when it passed through Heavens gate.

Then Crowley showed up. Of course Crowley had something to do with this. He was always up to something. He sat down and told me he that he was able to recreate my human body with a simple spell so that my soul, which was all dark and twisted now, would be able to enter. I knew I was better off dying at the hands of Michael once I learned I was demon.

As time went on, I did my duty as a demon and then I learned to love it. I became a better torturer. I enjoyed torturing poor unfortunate souls. I made those hard to make deals with those hard to make humans. Billionaires. Millionaires. Celebrities. CEOs. I worked my way up the demonic ladder in hopes of being Crowleys right hand. Then I would over throw him and rule Hell.

Then, I was summoned to the crossroads.  

As a crossroads demon, you had to say yes to whatever a Winchester wanted. Crowleys rule. But I just couldn't. Dean wanted to make a deal. Of course he asked for an exchange. My life for his. But I knew better. I knew that once I was human again, I would do whatever it took to get Dean back. So I did what I did. I lead him on and pulled his blade on myself. I could see the pain and horror on his face as I drove the blade into my chest.

Finally, everything was dark. I could finally rest.

Or so I thought.

I open my eyes and see that I am laying down in a field. I sit up and instantly grab my side. Blood is slowly spilling out. I take the flannel I am wearing and press it to the wound. The wound is right above the mark that Michael put on me. Why is that still there? I ask myself. I look around and there are few bodies next to me. Clearly they were demons given there's an angel blade in my hand. It's not the sight that gets me all tripped up, It's the fact that I'm alive. Alive, human, and I have no idea in hell how I got back.

I painfully stand up and try and make myself move but, the pain in my side is killing me. I lay back down and feel something in my pocket. I reach in there, wincing at the pain that I now feel all over my body. I pull out a phone. Theres a few missed calls and texts from someone I don't even know but, they clearly know me. I unlock the phone and dial the only person I can trust.

"Hello," a gruff voice answers.

"Cas?" It's getting hard to breathe now. "It's me. It's YN. I need your help."

Within the hour, I literally crawled my way to the nearest highway with Cas's help. He said he would meet me at the closest mile marker and to just sit near it. By the time I get there, I look down at my flannel and know I lost more blood. I'm starting to get dizzy and pray that Cas is driving fast. I begin to think I may die a second time.

I am just about to pass out thinking about Dean when I hear a vehicle approaching. I force my eyes open to see Cas's truck pull up and him rush out. His trenchcoat flowing behind him. He's by my side in seconds. Already assessing the wound. A wound I have no memory of getting.

"This might hurt when I touch it," He says placing a cold hand on my wound. I suck in a deep breath as a sharp pain bolts through my body. The pain is gone and I can breath again. "How did this happen?" Cas asks helping me up.

"I don't know," I answer. I really wish I knew. "The last thing I remember was killing myself to keep Dean from making a dean with me. Did you tell him about me?" I can't imagine what Dean would feel when he saw me again. Had he moved on? Had he found someone new?

Cas shook his head. "No," he says looking around. "He and Sam are on a case and have been out of reception for most of the day. Even if I had a way, I wouldn't. Not until I made sure."

"Right," I say raising my arm up to Cas. A good old fashioned 'Are you human?' test. "Give me you best."

Cas turns to walk away. "I don't need to check. When I touched you and knew that you were human right away."

I smile and follow him back to his truck. "That's right, Angels can tell who is human and who isn't." I open the passenger door and slip on in. "Cas," I say softly. "I really don't know how I got hurt. I don't even know how I am even alive. I should be dead dead."

Cas looks at you. "We will figure it out once we get back to the bunker."

"The Michael mark, did you get anything from it? Does he know I'm back?" I need to know. Since I was dead before everything finished. "Or was Sam successful with that crystal thing?" I really hope he was otherwise I was in for a treat with the Archangel.

"Sam was able to trap Michael and he hid it in a box to keep demons and angels and witches out and dropped it in the deepest parts of the ocean." Cas stopped talking and starts to drive.

We sit in silence for most of the drive until Cas starts talking again. "Dean never moved on." He says. "He hides it really well but, when he's not hunting and he starts to drink, we notice it. He's too occupied trying to find a way to get you back."

I sit there already knowing deep down Dean wouldn't stop if he knew there was a slight chance at finding me. "How long has he been doing this?" I ask looking at my hands. There was still blood on them. I'm kind of scared to know the answer but I really need to know.

"A year," Cas says. "A lot has happened too. Lucifer broke free. He slept with a human which resulted in a nephilim who isn't anything like Lucifer at all. We somehow managed to kill Lucifer. Dean has been non stop hunting these last few weeks as it's almost the anniversary of your death."

A year?  I think to myself. It feels like I've been here all along. I pull out the phone I used to call Cas with. "This is the only thing I have connecting me to the what happened. Once we figure that out maybe I can take Dean out for a small vacation somewhere."

The rest of the drive is silent. I want to get back to the bunker. I want to see Dean. I want to tell him he was stupid for not moving on. I want to get back to what normal of life I had before all of this. But what would I do if he had moved on? I suddenly begin to think. What if he did and was forced to choose between his new love and me. I shake my head and just focus on the now. I lean my head back and close my eyes.

Once I'm asleep I see things that are confusing. A cabin that looks all too familiar. A person that looks all too familiar. A conversation that plays in my head that makes my heart race and my side sting. Could this be the person that stabbed me? That's a real possibility. That same person kept saying a name over and over again. That same person kept pointing and referring to a newly made vessel.

"Michael!" I snap my eyes open to see Cas had pulled over. He's looking at me with a hand resting on my shoulder. I am drenched in sweat and my heart is still racing. The slight sting in my side fades away.

"YN, are you okay? You were breathing pretty hard and shaking." Cas leans back into his seat. "Was it a nightmare?"

I rub my face, "I don't know," I answer finally. "It had something to do with Michael though. Cas how long until we reach the bunker? I really need a shower before we tackle this." I also need to test that mark once I'm alone.

"We are a few minutes from it," Cas answers and puts the truck back into drive. "Sam called. They are back at the bunker right now unloading their gear."

I look up at Cas. "Did you tell Sam about me?" I really hope he didn't but, I also didn't care if he did.

"No, I didn't," Cas says taking a deep breath. Something is off. "The last couple months have been hard on him. Maggie was found dead in the woods. Throat slashed open. Telling him that Dean's girlfriend is back from the dead would be hard on Sam."

My heart stops. Maggie? Dead? How? Maggie was my best friend in the whole world after I killed Ketch. She was always there for me and really wasn't afraid to tell me what she thought. Unless I was injured then she would tread lightly because I was the worst patient ever. I'm sure there were times when she wanted to kill me.

"Poor Sam," I say. I remember they were close too. I knew they liked each other but, they never told each other. I wonder if they ever did before she died. "He wasn't the one who found her was he?" I hope to God that he didn't.

"No, he wasn't. It was another hunter who was staying with the boys." Cas says pulling into the bunker. "Dean wouldn't even let him see her body. It was horrible. But we gave her the hunters funeral that she deserved."

My heart races as I see the impala and I smile. I never thought I would see that beauty again. Then, I see Dean and a young boy walk out of the bunker. The boy smiles and laughs making Dean smirk a bit. It makes your heart melt with happiness. "Cas, you said he didn't move on," I say as he parks a bit away from the Impala. "That right there is moving on. He looks happy with that boy. Who is he?"

"Jack Kline. Lucifers Son. Dean's a good father figure for him and Jack looks up to him." Cas gets out of the truck.

I put my hand on the door handle and hesitate for a second. It's not everyday you come back to life mysteriously. Unless you're a Winchester. But I wasn't one. I close my eyes and say a small prayer of sorts and say screw it. I open the door and step out into the Kansas heat.

"Hey Cas," Deans voice sent shivers down my spine. I missed the sound of his voice and how it always made me feel. Weak in the knees and safe. "Whos your friend...?" His voice trails off when he sees me. He hands the boy, Jack, the bag in his hands and makes his way towards me.

"I know what this must look like," I say holding my hands out. I have no idea what Dean was planning on doing. I can't be too prepared given he has thrown me up on a wall in a very not so sexy manner. "I don't know how I came back. I woke up in a field and I called Cas who came and saw that I'm clearly human."

Dean ignores all that I say. He gets to me and grabs my hands and pulls me towards him. I don't have time to think about what is happening because the next second Dean has his lips pressed to mine. I melt right into the kiss and wrap my arms around his neck. This kiss is emotional for the both of us. I can feel both of our tears mixing together. Dean walks me back against the truck. His hands trail from hips up to my face. Leaving goosebumps through my clothes. I let out a small sigh.

Dean pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. There are a few stray tears lingering in the corner of his eyes. They make his green eyes shine though. "I just needed to make sure this wasn't dream." He pulls a stray hair out of my face and the feel of his hand resting on my cheek makes me close my eyes. I can stay in this moment forever. Even if this were a nightmare, it would have been the best kind.

"Who is she?" I heard Jack ask. His voice is higher than the rest of the guys.

I open my eyes to see that not only Cas and Jack are watching but, Sam was out too. There is both happiness and sadness in his eyes. Cas was right not to tell him about me before. Dean pulls me into his side and walks me over to them. "Jack, this is YN YLN," Dean kisses the side of my head. His lips linger there and I know he's taking in my scent.

"I thought you were dead," Jack says looking you over. He was skinny looking kid with long ragged hair that matched his green eyes.

"Didn't seem take," I answer smiling at him. I think I might like this kid too. "So, you're Lucifers kid. You don't look like you're one."

"I had to grow up fast. My mother told me it wouldn't be safe for me as baby."  Jack answers.

Thunder is heard in the distance. I didn't realize that there was storm rolling in. "Let's head on in." Dean begins to walk me inside. His arm tightens around me and I know that he's still thinking that this could still be a dream. Again, if this were a dream or nightmare, it's the best kind. It's been the happiest I've been in a long time.

#SPN #spn fanfiction #spnfandom #spn final season #spnimagine #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #sam and dean #dean angst #dean smut #dean fluff #dean x reader #Sam Winchester #Castiel #Centuries Story #waywardsistershy

[noncommited-writer]

WARNING FFH SPOILERS!!

Basically all my thoughts!

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Okay can we just talk about literally the beginning??????

'I Will Always Love You' memoirs??? Holy shit I was cackling but also crying inside when they showed pictures of Tony

Then the whole plan??? To get MJ??? Oh my god, I fucking melt. I want a man like Peter who will confess to me on top of the Eiffel Tower and buy me jewellery based on the shit I'm passionate about!!!!

Also, that scene at the shelter? When he becomes overwhelmed by the mention of Tony, I started to think he might have PTSD or some sort of knee jerk reaction whenever he hears his name. The way he was already teary eyed after swinging away. I couldn't deal with that.

Then the whole plan failing on the plane and oh my god the bathroom scene?? When he starts cleaning up oh my god that's just pure cinnamon roll Peter, I die I swear.

Theeen Betty and Ned???? OH MY GOD SUCH CUTIES!!!!!! AHHHHHH they were so fun to watch istg "babe?" "babe."

When they had the whole montage of Peter just trailing around MJ and being sulky over Brad like an adorable puppy. Then getting that necklace??? Ooooof ugh kill me with your cuteness istg.

Then the whole thing with Peter not having his suit with him??? And wearing that festival mask? Shit cracked me up

And dear god save this kid from the never ending concussions from the bell tower.

Then the whole conversation between Talos Fury and Peter in his hotel room. Literally two very different energies meeting to a head. It was glorious.

Also when they introduced Quentin?? I was like fucking shOOk. For two reasons

One because he was such a dramatic, unsubtle, little bitch talking about his family's death and praising Peter like Tony did!

For another, BECAUSE HE HAD LOWKEY DADDY ENERGY AROUND PETER AND THE WAY PETER LIGHTS UP WHENEVER HE PRAISES HIM OH MY GOD IT REMINDED ME SO MUCH OF HIM AND TONY. FUCK.

ALSO UNIVERSE 616?? CMON BITCH HOW DARE YOU PULL THAT STUNT. MARVEL YOU COP OUT! :(

Then the inevitable glasses. Dear lord. Fuck me up with the whole Iron dad (or starker) feels that whole scene gave off. My heart hurted.

Then that scene when he had to take off his clothes to wear his suit fUCK! Lowkey tho I felt hot. Then Brad walks in and then tells him he's gonna tell MJ?? Like who the fuck????

Then that bus scene. Oh my god, shit made me laugh so hard istg. When he punched Flash and actually had to web the freaking air strike drone he sent in!!!!!!! Hswhhdhhe Peter is a fuckin mess.

EDITH :(((((( even dead I'm the hero. My fucking feelings took a fucking dive. "He always did love his acronyms" and the way Peter just chuckles, looks away with tearing eyes, voice cracking as he says "Yeah he did"

God fucking damn it.

Istg Marvel is just playing with my feelings now. It's so fucking unfair.

And then that whole fighting scene with the Fire Elemental? When I saw one of the drone take the hit, I was like. Wait a fucking moment.

Also, I caught this thing where Mysterio's magic hits the windshield of Fury’s car but instead of cracks like it should be, I saw bullet holes. And I took a moment to notice that.

NIGHT MONKEY! NIGHT MONKEY!

Then that bar scene!!!! Jesus christ. That was a whirlwind of emotions. The way Peter's smile just dropped when Beck wore the glasses and saw Tony within him. God.

Also like those backstories????? Damn. Legit. I got no other words.

The way that Peter seemed soooo disappointed when MJ lied about the reason why she kept staring at him? Ugh my heart.

YAS GIRL DO IT FOR ALL OF US! TURN AROUND!!!! (Also what the fuck that cute little chub on Tom's tummy before he tenses up for the camera is so fucking cute oh my god I fucking melt, I wanna hug him)

"It's not a competition." Yea sure, Ned. Sure.

Holy fuck. Holy fuck. HOLY FUCK.

THAT WHOLE ILLUSION SCENE?

One of the best things ever. It reminded me so much of the intros to the James Bond movies. All the smooth transitions and stunning fx. Fuck. It was all trippy.

And jesus. Using MJ like that????

Also What The Actual Fuck. When he made an illusion of Tony rising from his grave.

When I saw that tombstone, I already knew what name on it was. Didn't make it easier to see it with my own eyes.

I cant with this movie its too much for my poor heart to take.

Jesus christ when he got hit by the train.fuck nylife.

Then happy?

Oh no, I actually pretty much died at this scene.

The way Peter was so desperate on who to trust and the way he just relaxed when he realised Happy wasn't an illusion. The way Happy just went with it immediately, having similar past experience with Tony's paranoia. The way he held Peter in his arms, confused but so so so worried. The way he takes care of Peter's wounds and tries to calm him down. The way Peter breaks down over being alone, his friends being in danger, hurt over MJ, not being enough to measure up to Tony, all of his emotions coming to head. That was probably the most grounding scene I've seen of Peter ever. It really hurt in all the best ways.

"You can't measure up to Tony. No one can. Not even Tony." That line was so good because he knows the weight thats on Peter's shoulders, he knows that Peter feels pressured to take on the world, unwavering and brave and so sure of himself like Tony was. But the truth is, Tony was exactly like him behind the scenes. Tony was always breaking down, lagging behind and alone. So when he sees Peter break down, it's like seeing Tony all over again. And he can't help but soften.

"I don't think Tony would have done what he did if he didn't know you were going to be here after he was gone." And that just shattered me. He basically said that Tony would've done it all over again if he knew Peter was going to come back.

That moment, when he stares at Peter, that moment when he notices something that twists and warms his heart at the same time. When he sees Peter handle that tech and holograms seamlessly like Tony did, the way he runs his mouth with his genius, the way he seems so excited over the tech, you can see in Happy's eyes that all he sees is Tony. Tony imprinting the best parts of himself onto Peter.

He knows Peter can handle it.

And jesus christ, baby no. Its not led zeppelin, cmon.

That whole fight scene was fucking lit! I can't really explain much but wow MJ!!!! GO MJ AND BETTY!!! AYYY.

Fuck and the way Peter used his Peter Tingle to fight off the rest of the drones. That was so cool. Then when illusion Beck was handing him the glasses, he already knew that it wasn't the real him.

That heartbroken look in his eyes when he realised he can't save Beck.

His voice cracking when he wants to know theres no more illusions.

That peck? That kiss? That makeout???? These two ooze so much chemistry it actually hurts.

Ahhh that hand brush and them actually holding hands!!!!! That!!!!!!

Then flash with his mother not being around comment, fuck that kinda hurt me in the feels.

Peter having an intervention with Happy and May???? Holy shit I need more of that.

Then that date? Where they swing??? Wow goals.

And fuck Peter getting exposed. I swear my heart dropped down to my stomach.

ALSO J JONAH JAMESON HOLY SHIT I WAS SHAKING BECAUSE OF THAT!!!!

Credits scene:

Fury taking a vacation but not really is such a mood. Like he'd like a vacation but he also has to work. Idk but it might be hinting at the next captain marvel movie!!!!

Ahhh

This movie is a treasure. I am most likely going to watch it again because wow. I don't think I can take it all in 100% without watching it twice.

I saw it only a few hours ago but I already love it with all my heart. ❤️

I cant believe Marvel has me hooked with their Peter Parker. ❤️❤️❤️

#Spiderman far from home #Spiderman far from home spoilers #Far from home spoilers #Spiderman ffh spoilers #Ffh spoilers