#these are all kind of dumb and I want them all to be real

[feline-evil]

Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!

#jay talkin #metalocalypse #im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends' #who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection #and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao #also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life #aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear #but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once #and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast #but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth #maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream #i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do #theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl #but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional #these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact #the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around #im glad they find that in each other eventually!! #i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy #everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system #they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow #their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!

[fuckyeah-bears]

literally exerting sooo much self control and impulse control not to snap back at idiots replying stupid shit on my posts. people are annoying as fuck sometimes. like if you have 'commentary' about how i interact with shit and answer asks, you can literally fuck off. i spend absurd amounts of time trying to be nice and provide specific bears and nice replies to people at their request. and then the one time i get slightly irritated people freak the fuck out and start lecturing me about being 'unprofessional' and 'rude' and 'obnoxious' like im sorry but fuck all the way off. this is fucking tumblr. nothing about tumblr is professional. i don't have to provide y'all with bears. i don't have to make a pinned post to explain myself. newsflash, i already have a pinned post that i'm rather fond of. i don't have to act or respond to things any kind of way. i choose to respond kindly with nice encouraging messages and provide bears, and spend ridiculous amounts of time looking up specific requested bears for people. i choose to do that because i want to make people happy and spread some positivity. i choose to do that because this world is shit as fuck sometimes and i want to create a little space free from drama and negativity where people can enjoy bears and get a little reprieve from this shit ass world and the bullshit of life. i choose to do all that because i want to. but heaven forbid i'm not in the mood 100% of the time to always be perfectly nice and happy and go-lucky. and then i get shits giving me crap over it like i'm somehow obligated to do all this shit for free and always respond exactly the way they desire me to. and it is pissing me the fuck off. because i genuinely put so much effort into bearotonin and trying to make other peoples' lives better in this one tiny small way. i have a life y'all. i have a job and school and an actual adult life with responsibilities. but i choose to do this because i love bears and i think bearotonin is hilarious and making people happy is something that makes me happy. but i don't owe anyone anything, and if you have complaints about the way i comport myself or respond to messages or posts i make, well you can fuck off. i don't want to hear it. you don't need to reblog my posts and tag them with little messages about how you disagree, or write replies/comments saying i should act better or should be expecting this, or send me stupid asks. you can literally keep your negative thoughts to yourself. because people need to fucking realize that your tags are not private. if you put them on a post, the op is going to see them. and in this case, the op is going to be super pissed off by them.

to be clear, 99% of people are awesome and super nice and i love y'all dearly (and this post is absolutely not about you in any way), but the other 1% are really getting on my fucking nerves right now and it is taking a lot of effort to not engage with them directly and tell them to fuck off to their faces

#so yeah i'm vague posting instead #whatever #sorry not sorry for the rant #but this bullshit lately is so insanely annoying #and i'm allowed to be annoyed over it #because i have crap going on in my real life #and i come on tumblr FOR FUN #so it should be fun #not full of pointless dumb drama #i don't care if you're angry or confused about why i say things. just keep it to yourself #i genuinely do not want to see it right now #maybe in like 2 weeks or whatever when i've calmed the fuck down i will engage but right now i'm pissed enough that #unless it's something entirely neutral or positive #i genuinely do not want to hear it #no constructive criticism or helpful suggestion shit #i'm not interested #these are my fucking blogs and if you don't like the way i run them then you can literally unfollow #simple as that #okay i'm done ranting now #sorry to all of y'all who are lovely and kind #you know this post is absolutely not about you at all #not bears #just a rant #bearotonin rants

[fourswords]

actually i think in a post-canon world where shadow is "brought back" (aka made fully corporeal again because at the end of the manga he is Very Much still alive which i thought was Awesome) he should get the chance to actually make proper friends with link. i know popular fanon consensus is that link was never reformed at the end and green & red & blue & vio all remained separate but i think it would be interesting. there's a lot to be said for the friendship that i think would grow readily between zelda & shadow since it WAS her words and her capture by the dark cloud at the end that ultimately pushed him to aid the light (because he was scared FOR her, which is IMPORTANT) but for all that the friendship between vio and shadow was based on false pretenses there is absolutely no question that they DID grow attached to each other, enough that when vio attempted to smash the dark mirror shadow was very visibly upset and after the four links reunite vio is very much...i wouldn't say regretful, because he knew what he was going to have to do from the very beginning (because shadow WAS very much a threat and i don't blame him for it), but saddened. and the thing is! at the end, when shadow aids the four, they respond in kind—it's green who finds "vio" and instantly tries to get him to lean on him and offers him a hand to help him stand. it's blue that notices that "vio" is having trouble turning the sphere and turns it for him. it's vio that pleads with shadow as he lay dying to just hang in there, and it's green who ultimately tells shadow that he's one of them, which leads to shadow finally letting himself dissolve in the light. it is all the parts of link that surround him in death, and so i think it would stand to reason that if shadow were resurrected he should get to properly befriend the whole person whose parts all accepted him in the end. and honestly i think they'd get along great.

#like i understand where people are coming from when they say they don't like the ending of the four swords manga. i get it. i do #but ultimately link IS all four of them. they live in him because they ARE him just as they lived as him because they WERE him #& there's a lot of flexibility on how one can interpret link after being split by the four sword so maybe shadow actually CAN have #a conversation with vio about how everything went down even while link is one person. because. yknow. link IS vio!!!!!!!!! #the four were all their own people but they are also link. am i saying this in a way that makes sense #and he and shadow WOULD be friends. betrayal aside. if shadow was dead set on never forgiving vio he wouldn't have #pretended to be him and aided the others. he would've just tried to go after zelda himself #as useless an endeavor as that would've been because he was weak as fuck at the time #like. zelda was the one who pushed him to change for real with her genuine words of kindness. she was the first to REALLY offer him that. #but pretending that vio didn't feel some sort of attachment too is dumb and LITERALLY AT THE VERY END ALL THE PARTS OF LINK ACCEPTED HIM. #you can say whatever you want about the viz translation and how it differs from the original but it popped off when vio said #'he wanted to be with us...to be with his family.' #like bro they literally called him family. maybe it was too late to change anything. but it still matters that all four parts of link #acknowledged him as such. vio said that and nobody contested it. #anyway. i have so many thoughts about link&shadow&zelda post-canon. whatever #fsa #txt

[knowlesian]

my last post and the shameless mountain goats reference i threw in there got me thinking about one of my favorite story beats, because it combines a lot of character work and thematic oomph in one: ed being a victim of his own legend and ability to protect himself by hiding in plain sight + codeswitch into the version of himself that best suits the company/situation he’s in, in many ways but often most visibly through his interactions with izzy.

my take on “is blackbeard real or fake” has always been “yes”; blackbeard is pieces of ed filtered and strained and assembled and pruned down in ways that scarred him even as they kept him safe, in ways that are very sad and often stretching the definition of safe as far as ed’s personal definition of murder. nonetheless: it got him to the place he's at, still alive. could he have done it another way? who knows! that was the way he did it, it's the way he knows will work because it did work.

or: he thinks he knows that. but the legend was never all of ed and in fact demanded he spotlight pieces of himself he doesn't like so much a lot and repress a lot of the things that make him feel good, it’s not helping/hurting anymore. it’s just dragging him down.

so ed is sick of the blackbeard schtick; and here’s the rub. if he’d been worse at the art of personal fuckery alongside the pirate type, maybe none of this is happening. the world never knows his name; or worse, once he gets spotted as a man who won't kill they mock it. 

that version of ed does not attract izzy ‘ask me about my boner for the sunk cost fallacy’ hands, or does not keep him. because izzy has built his identity around ed’s legend; who is blackbeard’s first mate, if there is no blackbeard? who the fuck even is izzy hands, if he’s not seated at the right hand of edward teach?

now. you would hope, in a better world, that izzy would be like you know, edward, the thing here is: you wanting something different involves emotional consequences for me. i would have to figure out my whole life over again and i am simultaneously con o’neill’s age and emotionally sixteen like the real world me was, so you can see that would be super complicated. i have so fucking much baggage and you are just adding to it, and i do not like that. also: this fucks up my work situation and my home life at once, it makes me feel sad and abandoned and itchy in ways i do not wish to label with words because they would be gay ones like ‘please don’t leave me, i love you and i thought it was mutual’ so like... world rocked, thoroughly and in ways that make me want to rant until past last call, in conclusion this sucks and i think it's twenty mistakes in a trenchcoat, some of them maybe life threatening! i wish you would not.

and then he would step back and let ed make his own fucking choices anyway and either do the work to figure himself out in the same space or finally grab those cds from the car and find his own place to do the same, because a shitty fact of adult life is sometimes people cannot be what we want or need. sometimes that is because they suck: sometimes, it’s just because they can’t or don't want to, and that isn't them being mean or withholding. they don't owe us more than the basic kindness and dignity we all owe to each other just because we put in our hours longing for them to do so. that’s some toxic, entitled shit. understandable! an impulse i share at times! but we should never be That Guy (gender neutral) because the friendzone doesn’t actually exist and nobody deserves to win someone else as a prize for hanging around long enough and driving them to the airport. that’s just called being friends, etc.

izzy is sadly currently stuck on being That Guy. so instead of realizing ed is an adult man and can make his own choices, even if izzy thinks they're bad ones, he fucking panics and starts swinging around and finally runs to big daddy england to make stede bonnet stooooooooop (messing with ed’s brain).

and of course he does something like that! he thinks a relationship is when you metaphorically own each other and when you can only be tender after putting your right foot in and then putting it out before once again putting it in and then proceeding to shake it all about, violent rituals unlock love style. he’s a desperate man in a hell entirely of his own making.

and so is ed, in this entirely different way but stuck in his own fucking orbit as firmly as izzy, only ed is trying to claw his way up and out to see what else he can be, while izzy would do juuuust about anything (including lick the king’s boots) to stay the same forever.

that’s some tragic shit. i love this writing team, the end.

#what if i staple no children to their heads when they're together what then #truly this is some good writing #like: i find izzy fascinating because he was written by the same team who wrote everybody else #he sucks in ways that i want to think about because they sometimes allow me to examine myself #and then sometimes let me laugh at his dumb ass or talk about serious thematic shit #he bears a lot of weight in the narrative because that's in part what a good antagonist should do #anyway yeah the sort of classic tragedy of these two is super interesting since like...clearly the show knows what's up #i maintain izzy is gonna figure his shit out and become a productive member of this pirate society tho #because okay like: in real life i know the best i can often hope for is somebody knocking a specific behavior off #and often they won't ever do that #but if they did the world would be better and they would be better and i would have another comrade #i will always settle for one less enemy if that is my only choice #but i'd rather make a new ally i can trust #and my fantasy is often that the izzys of the world in all their forms don't just knock it off #it's that they start fighting alongside me or become someone i don't mind being around because i CAN trust them now #(hey: i did say it was a fantasy) #so i kind of ask myself: what makes life better in this fictional world #an izzy who can't hurt people because he is no longer around or an izzy who has started to figure his shit out #anyway yes: this shit is sad and well-crafted

[strixhaven]

“are you nd or nt” this is stupid as hell and i’m opting out of that framework entirely

#the way people conceptualize ‘neurotypicals’ not as actual people but as factory-made blank-slate hyper-capitalist wet dreams of what human #beings are ‘naturally’ and buy into the pathologization of actually natural human behavior and variance in how we function #and so heavily defer to the authority of psych institutions and rigidly defined ideas of normality and divergence #for the sake of having clearly defined labels for a bizarre us v them. dumb as hell #you can say whatever you want in response this seems to be at least a kind of helpful worldview for a lot of people #but nothing i’ve seen about the way these terms get used in practice has made me feel anything but negative towards this framework #everybody needs an other to differentiate themselves from bc yknow identities often form along the lines of out groups in the language of #opposition and the ways that ‘nd’ so often gets flattened to just mean ‘autism and adhd’ and the amount of slap fights i’ve seen about who #gets to be included in the nd out group. to say nothing of these mythical ‘neurotypicals’ you’re supposedly talking about #because point at any person and i guarantee you they don’t match up to the capitalist construction of neurotypicality you have in your head #and then discussions of physical disability’s intersections n all. real fucking mess man #again if it helps you. w/e. i just cannot ever conceive of this being a particularly helpful way for me to view my brain and how i function

[caruliaa]

i love when swifties on another site say something dumb and all the swifties on here tear them to shreds for it. anyway u guys r right shake it off is so fun how can anyone hate her honestly. like people say they hate her until she comes on and everyones having a good time but how can you actually hate her

#like this isnt what the tiktok everyone was talking abt (i cld only find a link to a tweet reposting it and tht person on twitter privated) #was saying i think but like. i tihnk its dumb to say its bad song bc the whole point is that its over the top and cheesy and just fun #like. you can dislike songs that are that but its dumb to say that makes it bad bc thats the point. and thats why people say its bad #so most people who say its bad are missing the point #ALSO WHAT FROM WHAT IV GATHERED THE TIKTOK WASS ABOUT ?? #complaining about a tracklist that hasnt been released yet for a tour that most fans within your country werent even able to get tickets fo #and international fans dont even know if its happening for them sornot is soo fucking dumbb just on the face of it !!! #but also what kind of loser are you that you dont want to be having the time of your life to a fun silly song at a concert be fucking real #like. v much a case of its seen as 'cool' to like folklore and to some degree evermore and midnights now #and people who r going for bragging rights andnot bc they actually want to go cant handle a song that is unabashdly 'cringe' #potentially being there. even though its called the ERAS TOUR ITS ALL HER ERAS ALL HER MUSIC BABESS !!! #okay. done now. sorry for the rant ghdfhgdf #flappy rambles

[yuribalisms]

Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that

#I’m going to be depressing and self depreciating in the tags so. fair warning to anyone who reads them #I’ve known for a while now that I don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve thought of a few ideas but none of them seem to be working. and I #think a good chunk of what it’s boiling down to is that I am quite literally just stupid when it comes to an actual useful real life skills. #and it’s frustrating because I can’t even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ‘nooooo #don’t say that! you’re not stupid! you were top of your class in hs!’ (that is their favorite thing to fall back on) but like. the thing is #I wasn’t even smart in hs. sure I did good but that’s because I cheated my way through and got lucky a lot. I never actually learned anythin #I never understood what I was being taught or how to apply it. I was good at English and art classes and that was it those were the only one #I truly felt I knew what I was doing in and grasped the subject matter well. I know I’m good at those two things and smart when it comes to #those subjects. but the thing is. in real life. both of those are useless skills. I can’t make money with them and it is highly unlikely #that will ever change. and yes I know not being able to make money with it doesn’t mean it’s useless but like it kinda does. capitalism #sucks. I know that. we all do. but that doesn’t change that we live in a capitalist society and it’s unlikely to actual change in my lifetim #so I’m stuck to try and figure out how to live in it. but I have no skills I can make money with so I will live my entire life poor and #miserable and working dead end jobs that make me want to kill myself. I’m not good at socialization I’m so fucking bad at it so I can’t work #any kind of job that hinges on networking or sales or human interaction which is MOST JOBS but I’m also too stupid for anything related to #STEM. I tried two different stem degrees and flunked out of both of them because I am a FUCKING IDIOT and I know there’s no point in trying #to go back to school for another one. but no degree in anything I naturally have a knack for will help me find a decent well paying job. ill #just be wasting my money to go to school for something like that. and then like. I don’t even think I’ll ever get married and I def won’t #ever have kids. so I can’t even put any hopeful stock in just being happy with a family one day. I know a lot of ppl who don’t like their #careers but they’re fine with that because they’re happy with their family but like I don’t even have that and I won’t ever have that. I #have NOTHING to strive for and NOTHING I am good at that’s meaningful I’m going to fail at having a career and a family and I know that #doesn’t mean I won’t be happy in theory but by societal standards I am and always will be a fucking failure of a person and since I do live #in this society yeah. it’s kinda fucking true. and I don’t know what to do about that. I’m just tired. I’m tired of being afraid and #struggling and going through patches of wanting to kill myself because of this because like what’s the point. I’ll never have anything #better so what in the actual hell is the point of me existing. and I know I’m being ridiculous and my brain is eating itself and none of #this is probably even true but that doesn’t change that it FEELS like it is a lot of times and esp right now and I don’t know what to do #to anyone who reads this I’ll be fine tbh prob as soon as tomorrow like dw about it I just need to get it out so I stop stewing in it. #I’m just. yeah. not having a great time rn but I left work so I’m gonna cry and then maybe sleep for a bit and hope that helps #kaz rambles

[princekirijo]

I gotta say I was not expecting to enjoy Devil May Cry as a series as much as I am, I'm kinda surprised it took me this long to get in to.

#like ive been on and off playing dmc3 for a while #and trust me its so much fun i can see why its highly rated #but im putting it on hold for now just cause im finding the controls a bit awkward? #so i decided to go for the newer games because they're more beginner friendly #and im not too worried about playing them out of order because i have a vague idea of the story anyway #so playing dmc5 rn #and omfg it is SO much fun #ive had nero for a day and i would kill for this funky ass dude #i love him and dante #they are like so swaggy and cocky and a lil dumb and reckless #literally my fav kind of guy #and the style and design of the game is so good #also not to combine my two interests rn but like i love the taunting system it gives me real spidey vibes 😭😭 #someones gonna smack me for saying that but like dante and nero's quips are just spidey if he was an asshole /j #<- joking but also not fully #anyway sorry i just wanted to share that i may have a new interest lmao #spiderman and dmc who tf would have thought these would be my interests #peesona is always chilling in the background but we all know why really #oh and the music absolutely fucking SLAPS in both games devil trigger is honestly one of my fav video tracks ever #and is how i found out about the series unironically LMAOOO

[guinevereslancelot]

lazy girlies help me out: what is the easiest job you've ever had that one could get with an associate's or less

#all the jobs are like sales associate /plant waterer i dont even need a relevant degree for that #and i want a job thats not physically demanding if possible bc my side job is farming which is hard lol #im accepting tho that i need to look beyond horticulture for a job bc the one i wanted never got back to me and idk what else to do #im looking at receptionist jobs bc a lot of them just want a high school education but idk #i can mask well enough to seem like a people person but idk abt the organization and multitasking stuff #anyway suggestions welcome what is the easiest job #it doesn't need to pay a lot i just need some kind of income that wont drain my life force if possible #i found an assistant pre-school teacher position i could def do if i renew my cpr license #but im not sure i have the energy to work with kids full time #context if it helps: i am autistic and have chronic pain also i really am just lazy and dumb #so i need an easy job idc if it's boring as long as i dont need to be good at math #indeed is recommending me nuclear sub technician jobs i need real suggestions #i have experience with kids and gardening but both of those are physically demanding so i would love to not do that #my computer skills are nonexistent compared to other young people but old people think im good at it #i hate math tho

[rosemary-bells]

so as the world caves in (matt maltese) IS a ranwan song and no i will not elaborate i don’t NEED to,

#buzz #*conspiracy theory meme* #erha #i finished reading the novel yesterday and honestly?? slay #cried so much tho lmao. reading fanfics rn to recover #it was so good but god it hurt So Bad kshshsjsjs. i don’t even have much to say i just. hooooo #that was so much wohdjsishwjwifhehsh #also in relation to the comment above call that Wanting To Literally Stay Together through Sickness Health and Also Th e Apocalypse bcs tha #coughs #erha spoilers #cryibg tho that was so good #i mean like they rly are just sticking together no matter what like call that Drama and also call that Love screaming crying throwing up #mmmph god that was so good tho. pain was top tied and the ending was sweet enough to the point in which it felt decently worth it all #still cried tho. also meimeng real? maybe. idk. i like that little trio. they’re dumb n cute and i cried over their past timeline vers’ end #bcs they deserved to rest so much but god it hurt god it rly did #also txj reveal at the end was kinda hilarious honestly j expected them to use an extra to cover it but like. nah i like this too #also no one told me that mr canonically calls him engong-gege in post canon?? y’all! or at least in like the first extra #adorable. they’re so weird and i love them. little menaces. also smj’s ending felt Incredibly Bittersweet but honestly. i can live w that #man tho. … man. i rly do hope that in the end. he like. legitimately did care abt the sisheng peak kids. like cwn Sure but i hope he at lea #at least kind of cared abt mr (just a little bit #and like esp xm…. like things were all messy and horrible but like. still. part of me can’t help but wish. #god tho. great read but i read through most of the Angst (tm) this week and i will take years to recover #so good tho. so good. will never not say that #it was weird sure. like it definitely got weird and this is Not referring to the copious amounts of violence. we know what i’m talking abt. #but it was good. it was good. cant recommend it to any of my friends for legal reasons but god. #ranwan #… this one is fr not rly but whatever!! it’s fine i was crying over them 90% of the time

[thevashstampede]

THEVAS??? YOU JUST READ PART 1 OF CSM??

Oh oh oh, tell your thoughts please <3

Oh god. Oh god man. The way I was NOT expecting to be hit with the found family trope so hard and I got absolutely SMACKED anyways... WHEW. MAD that the hype is pretty well deserved. MAD that I was pussy and didn't pick it up when it first came out because I thought it was going to be cruel and nothing else. MAD that Makima was 100% the Worst from the get go but she still managed to BETRAY me bro....

They all said they weren't going to fall in love with each other and I believed them. Like a FOOL bro. It's like. Such a simple story, like all of the twists and underdog trump cards were SO simple but they hit EVERY TIME.

#god and dont get me started on the symbolic high brow nonsense in the charcter and devil designs and the fact of devils in the first place #im too dumb to fully work it out yet but ho boy theres some good shit there for the thesis writers #the art was ultraviolent in its detail but also so beautiful #MAD when an artist is fucking good >:( #and makima!! you were supposed to hate her that was the point we FELL for it even though she was apparently doing everything because #she wanted the same thing everyone else did and that was ALSO the point and we got got so BAD bro #the need for meaningful connection with others even if you have to be dragged kicking and screaming #even if its found in a burning garbage can of a life and you know its going to hurt so so bad when you reach your hand in there #but you do anyways because thats what it means to be alive #FUCK dude #and also the comment on authoritarian governments and hierarchical organziations that run our societies. lol. lmao. #THEY SLEPT TOGETHER. THEY HELD EACH OTHER. LIKE DENJI HELD POCHITA WHEN HE WAS A BABY #THE LOVE WAS REAL. AGAINST ALL ODDS AND GOOD JUDGEMENT IT WAS REAL. #denji growing past being kind of a sex pest adolescent boy #into not having to view women as sex objects to have meaningful relationships with them. power. POWER. god. #AND LOVING SOMEONE SO MUCH YOU HAVE TO FUCKING. EAT THEM. #fujimoto really said hey incels reading this. boobies? now that i have your attention. experience a relationship beautiful and true. #and hes so based for that #anyways im still thinking about 'I got cold feet.' girl BYE

[actualtoad]

i have a bad stomachache again today

#…anxiety? #it doesn’t really feel like my period anymore it feels like im just scared #being mentally ill feels so stupid especially when there’s so many layers like this because it’s like #idk. when i get just regular anxious i always feel like. man. of all the things my brain could be worrying about #like i could be having a bpd spiral right now and the most interesting thing my mind wants to do is give me an unexplained stomachache???? #i’ve been fully tangled in delusions multiple times this week and my brain is like. hey have a tummyache?? #and it’s like. i don’t count it as real mental illness but dang if it’s not contributing to my bad mental health. so i should shut up #and deal with the fact that some of my brain problems are harder to reckon with than others #it’s probably silly and strange that i feel like delusions are more reasonable than regular dread but like. this just feels so dumb #okay so um #nothing to do first hour. second hour work on project. third hour sew my jacket. fourth hour movie worksheet. fifth hour movie worksheet #and i have three and a half cards to give. one of them i’ll give today #the thing is im literally giving my chem teacher a two page letter about how awesome he is but im still nervous about him #like there’s a lot of things to be thankful for but im still just a little off put by him being so friendly? #and so i kind of just feel weird giving him a card. idk. but i don’t want to not recognize how helpful and understanding he’s been so i will #the other cards are less of anything it’s just around three sentences per teacher of: listen i know i don’t turn in enough assignments but #i think you’re rad. love how you do [a] and [b] in your class #mme peterson’s is going to be a little longer and also en français but otherwise still a little boring #but mr hidaka’s is two pages long thanks him for everything says there’s no way it’s a full goodbye and that he makes me feel safe #which is true when im around him just not when i get home and THINK about him and so idk. but idk. he’s a nice guy. whatever #im giving him his card today the other people are getting theirs on the last day. but also his isn’t really a card it’s more of a letter #they’re all letters actually. just some of them are very short letters. but none of them are really cards #anyway i have to do my dumb PROJECTS and not fail my CLASSES and there’s not that much left but it still feels like so much #also i had to fall asleep last night with the fake sounds of a fireplace to drown out screaming parents. so. not doing the best at home #but. i should start getting ready for school. im just kind of here #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

so theres a lot of posts going round about the titanic wreck and the missing submarines; all of them that ive seen have made very good points about how shoddy the submersible seemed to be and how the company decided to wait eight hours before reporting it, and how this is a play stupid games, win stupid prizes for the ultra-wealthy who paid like 250grand a ticket for this thing.

but what i havent seen any posts about is how the titanic wreck is a gravesite and this tourism is disturbing the graves of over 1500 people.

sometimes its kinda hard to remember that those on the titanic were real people; it was over a century ago, the story has been romanticised in so many ways (like the movie), theres conspiracies theories galore that cloud everything with misinformation, but at the end of the day, those who died were real people.

do you want their names? heres a list of them; its a long read. and for fun, heres another site where you can see photos of the children and babies who died aboard.

their bodies are long gone and their lives long forgotten. all we have to remember them and honour them is the wreck itself. its all we have of them and it is their gravesite. its their tombstone.

caitlin doughty/ask a morticians video on the great lakes discusses the topic well, and why we should leave these shipwrecks alone because again, they are the gravesites of all the souls who died aboard those ships. we rarely have bodies to recover so we really are left just with the wreck.

and what really upsets me about titanic tourism is how the majority of those who died that night were not the ultra-wealthy rich folks you might picture when you think of ocean liners.

61% of the first class passengers survived

42% of the second class passengers survived

24% of the third class passengers survived

24% of the crew survived **

the majority of those who died that night were regular folk; not to be cliche, but they were just like us. titanics wreck is not only a gravesite for over 1500 people, its also a majority working class gravesite.

and look at us now. look at what were doing. the ultra-wealthy can pay the equivalent of peanuts to them to disturb a mass gravesite of the exact kind of people they exploit today to hold onto all their wealth. 

its easy to point and laugh at these dumb idiots in their playstation controller submarine, seemingly held together with super glue and duct tape, but its also important to remember that what they were doing was simply disturbing a gravesite for fun. though the company does research, these guys werent down there to conduct research, they were there so they could brag about it to their friends. its like “climbing mount everest” while your sherpa does all the work.

if you cant tell, i have a lot of feelings about this. shipwrecks and ocean liners are one of my special interests and im currently building a (beginner’s) model of the titanic, for fucks sake. but i would never go down to see that wreck because its a fucking gravesite and we should not be disturbing their final resting place.

#kai rambles #long post #i guess? #titanic #titanic wreck #oceangate #titan #titan sub #submarine #tw death #classism #capitalism #capitalist bullshit #exploitation #mass graves #tw mass graves #shipwrecks #oceangate expeditions #stockton rush #hamish harding #tourism #i have so many thoughts on shipwrecks because there are many you can actually explore #but as far as im concerned i really dont think you should if people died when that ship sank #you wanna go explore ss america? go for it #but titanic or the fitz? no #its a gravesite and we should be respecting those who died rather than rooting around their fucking graves #im upset and angry and just you know feeling A Lot #but also if you ever need titanic facts or stuff in this realm my askbox is always open and also go check out oceanliner designs on yt #shipposting

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

That nice little bit of pink flare in the hair.

It is just like talked about when we were younger.

Mystery sexy girl with the Wayfair bdsm gear on.

In the back of my mind I am like I would like those self strapped wrists to be giving me some hugs.

Oh...you know.

#they are just so goddamn round #smh...dear fucking God so round and perfect let me ruby my eyes and look again to make sure she is real #I turn around and you paddle your feet looking at biscuits #heh this girl looks stimulated by our interaction here...looks around nope it's definitely me #why couldn't you have had mom bring me in there for a sandwich #I could have been like #hey so you look Really familiar #but no I am like man this poor girl but damn they probably do way better business with her there #I fucking hate Doug so much #he is like dog shit on my shoe #stinks and nearly impossible to scrape it all off #look you want to discuss your stepfather (technically) we can do that in person #there is like nothing good for me to say there #mom would come to me when he was an asshole like come on #like mom you brought his dumb ass over here you know how to banish them #no though the wind just psycho herself into exiting the nervous shell #in a way the tree is kind of like the biggest backhanded compliment of all time #and it is more of a hey thanks fuck you than a compliment #up in old you know where Sunday nights after 2000 Jane is hammered complaining and I am like I don't really give a shit #“I just need to disconnect” me: like...ok if that's what you want ( #mash time than analingus

[prettys0bbing]

imagine recording a sex tape with boyfriend!rafe 😮‍💨🤭 he'd be so smug about it too

i love your mind. i also think just the act of recording would make him slightly feral.

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honestly i think he’d be so mean about it. he’s already kind of a bully during sex and i think that you letting him record you both would drive it over the edge. he’d start off real nice, using one hand to record while teasing your clit with the other. making sure he’s capturing how pretty you look as you moan underneath him, he’d press harder. “gotta give the camera a show, huh? show me how much of a whore you are, letting me record you like this.” his voice dripping in lust and his eyes hungry as they bore into yours. all you can do is whine back at you as he slips two fingers inside of you to prove his point.

after you finish at least once on his hand, he switches it around so you can give him head. rafe has you sit there for a moment, dirty talking you as he slaps his tip against your lips. “such a fucking slut, kid. want everyone to see how well you swallow my dick?” as you put him into your mouth, he puts the phone down at an angle where you can still see anything and gathers your hair into one hand and starts thrusting into your mouth. “takin’ it so fuckin well. choking on this dick for daddy.” he grunts, giving a few harder thrusts before pulling out to let you breathe. he wipes the spit that’s fallen on your chin across your face, before slapping you twice. they aren’t necessarily hard hits but they’re just enough to put you in a daze as he shoves his cock back into your mouth.

he fucks into your throat at an animalistic pace, holding your head still with his hand as he grabs his phone again. you moan around him, brain hazy and dumb. “wanna say hi to the camera baby?” he says as he slows down, putting the camera closer to your face to capture the mess he’s made of you. lines of mascara have travelled down your cheeks with his cock still stuffed in your mouth and he swears you’ve never looked better. “c’mon kid, on the bed.” he demands, pulling out of your mouth and tapping your cheek gently. “needa fuck your pretty pussy.” he lines himself up with you, using one hand to lift your leg onto his shoulder and record as he teases his head along your slit.

“ ‘s fuckin wet. you like this shit huh? like it when i record you being a dumb slut?” he teases as he glides through your slit with ease. without warning, he pushes into you and starts pounding into you. you let out a loud moan, grabbing onto him. you can see him smirk slightly, grabbing onto your hip to give himself more leverage to reach deeper inside of you. as he hits deeper, your eyes get hazy and you squeeze them shut. practically panting as he drills in and out, you begin to clench around him. “f-fuck rafe, ‘m gonna cum! you’re so deep god.” you whine, too fucked out to care. “cum for me dollface. show me how good it feels.” he groans, his own release steadily approaching. you spasm around him, letting out pornagraphic moans your release gushing out of you as you clench down even tighter around him.

he finishes after you, painting your insides white as his hips stutter and slow to a stop. he slowly pulls out of you while pointing the camera towards your cunt to see his cum spill out of you. “fuck baby, look at you messy you are. letting me drip out like that.” he teases, using a finger to collect some and push it back inside of you. as your leg twitches from the stimulation, he pulls back out and puts it in your mouth allowing you to taste the mixture of both of your release. “that’s my girl, always so good f’me.” he praises, cutting the camera off and leaning down to kiss you. “such a good camwhore for daddy.”

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#mayspeaks! ˚✧₊⁎ #obx x reader #obx #obx smut #rafe cameron #rafe cameron headcanons #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut