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k3rm1e · 3 years

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cuddling headcanons! ★~(◡﹏◕✿)

this is more of a test thing to see if i like writing this way and if this blog does well

other imagines and headcanons won't include everyone i write unless it is specifically requested and is a prompt i really like

includes: wilbur nihachu karljacobs quackity dream georgenotfound sapnap p!tommyinnnit p!badboyhalo p!skeppy p!eret p!philza p!tubbo p!ranboo

cw: cursing

wilbur:

wilbur is a very cuddle-y guy

to me he seems very soft

i always see people saying he would like spooning, but i disagree

i feel like he would do more of a half-spooning thing with his head on your chest or the other way around

mans would DEFINITELY make you run your fingers through his hair

i feel like he would lay on your chest and just *nuzzle* into the space between your shoulder and neck

anytime you tried to leave him, whether it was because he had to do something or you had to, he would whine. so. fucking. much.

It would probably always go something like:

you - i need to piss

wilbur - no <3

but the moment he decides its time to stop cuddling its fine

and if you complain that you’re gonna miss him he’ll just call you clingy and tease you

like??? sir???

all in good fun though, no bad intentions :)

nihachu:

i feel like you and niki would face each other

with your head like under her chin and in her chest (this is a bad description but look at the “honeymoon hug” on the list for better explanation ;-;)

she would always want to protect you

so she does that by like almost guarding you and keeping you close

niki would definitely do the arm thing where she just lightly moves her hand up and down you arm

i’m so sorry if you don't understand that, it just feels like something she would do

if you haven't experienced that it kinda sorta feels like spiders??? but in a good way???

but generally she is very protective

she just holds you so close the whole time

even if she doesn’t want to let you go, she’s more understanding about it

she would be upset but wouldn’t show it because she doesn’t want to make you feel guilty

niki is generally just an amazing cuddle-r (is that a word?) and has a super comforting presence

karljacobs:

karl would definitely keep your head on his chest

the whole time he would just absolutely squeeze the life out of you

he would constantly bend his neck down to kiss your head

and instead of just like leaving his head down so he could kiss you it would just be:

*inner monologue karl* hmmm i wanna kiss them on their head

and he would lean down to do so which, cute

but then five seconds later he would do it again

and again another five seconds later

and again

very cute karl but please sir, your neck is gonna be so messed up after this

when you had to leave he would be upset, but like niki, would try not to show it

except karl is very bad at that and his pouting would be so obvious

so you would feel guilty and layback down with him

immediately he just becomes (●´ω｀●)

like a happy little puppy

karl is just too adorable for you to deny

quackity:

now we all know this, quackity is a huge dork

which is why i believe he would DEFINITELY use your butt as a pillow

not even in a weird way

i just feel like quackity isn’t too comfortable with touch so this is sorta his way of being close to you without it being a whole serious thing

like he still is able to be goofy and comfortable without it being a whole big thing

him doing this would almost always come with a flatty patty joke from you

which always causes him to threaten divorce, even though you aren’t married

while it isn’t a very good position for things like physical touch, it is good for talking and having conversations

for some reason i feel like he’s the type of person to text someone when they’re right next to each other

so while he’s laying down he’ll just send you random photos of himself

very annoying when your phone is spammed, but also good blackmail material >:)

i don’t think he’d be too clingy

obviously, he enjoys spending time with you

but if you told him you need to go do work or something he wouldn’t throw a fit or pout

big q just seems like he’d be more rational about stuff like that

overall a 420/69 cuddle partner

dream:

one word: spooning

mans just envelops you and has no shame

very big: “no you are mine! >:(“ energy

while he’s sleeping he’ll unconsciously nuzzle his head into your hair/the back of your neck

when you guys got to bed patches usually climbs in and you hold her

i love patches so much i could write headcanons just about her

dream always wants to be cuddling you

if you try to leave he won’t pout, there simply isn't a discussion on whether you’re moving or not

incase you haven’t caught on yet, the answer is no

you need to do work? just bring the laptop to bed

he needs to edit? just sit in his lap at his desk, duh

obviously, he knows at some point you guys need to stop cuddling

he just isn’t too stoked about it

when it comes time where he absolutely can’t cuddle with you, i feel like he’d be more chill

mainly just annoyed

georgenotfound:

i feel like george, like quackity, also wouldn’t be too touchy

i’m pretty sure he has a hard time expressing emotions (please correct me if i’m wrong!!) and i think that would crossover to his sleeping habits

i think he would prefer a sort of back-to-back cuddling position

it seems cold, i know

but also he would most definitely kick at you

so every night while trying to go to sleep suddenly you would just feel *kick*

and then instead of sleep you’re suddenly playing footsie

lots of laughter and warm feelings involved

george would probably pretend that you kicked his leg hard or something and act like you hurt him

the first few times you were actually worried

but then after a few months your only response was a sarcastic “cry about it”

which just led to more laughter

sapnap:

sapnap and you would do a sort of leg hug thing

you both you try to go to sleep in a cute spooning-type position

but the moment one of you fell asleep it all unraveled

you would wake up apart but you’re legs would still be touching

sapnap would joking blame it on you

“wow can’t believe you don't wanna be close with me even when we’re asleep”

“it’s not my fault! i can’t control where i end up when i sleep!”

“no, no. you don’t have to lie. i see how it is.”

“>:(“

but it's okay!

your legs are the first thing to react in a flight-or-fight situation, so they usually react in an honest way

which is like your legs are both reaching to hold each other!

p!tommyinnit:

i don’t get a very touchy vibe from tommy

i feel like the most he would do is put his arm over your shoulder

not in a flirty way, just in a “hey, there isn’t a lot of space, this will make sitting down more comfortable” way

he will let you sorta fidget with his hand/arm

i don't know if that makes sense but what i mean is that he’ll pretty much let his arm go *flop* so you can control it (by like moving it around or playing with his fingers)

in the beginning he would get annoyed

but eventually he would get used to it and wouldn’t really care

it sounds a bit strange but i personally find it very comforting to just have something to fidget with while watching youtube or netflix in bed with my friends

and it’s entertaining (sometimes i do this to me sister to annoy her :>)

he would act like he didn’t mind if you left him

but holy shit he is so clingy

If you try to leave it’ll just be “no, why??? stay here dumbass”

you would be slightly annoyed when he had to leave but knew he had to film and stream and all that so you would be okay

p!badboyhalo:

you would kinda sit within bad’s lap

like not on his lap, but more of in between his legs

he would have his arms around you

and his phone would be in front of you so you two could scroll through twt or instagram together

or you guys could watch skeppy’s youtube ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

rat would sit in your lap

she’s just;;;;;;;; so adorable

rat is just so soft and fuzzy in your lap and everytime you move to pet her she just melts

rat is the the superior cuddle buddy to any of these block people

p!skeppy:

skeppy, similar to quackity, is a total dork

he would make sure you guys were in a position where he could effectively troll you

so if your head was near his lap he would just flick you or some

“dude can you please stop hitting me in the head”

“it turns out i am not actually hitting you in your head because based on the perpendicularity of the bisector multiplied by the photosynthesis of the dividend, it is impossible for me to do so”

“wtf”

lya is so goddamn sick of you guys

she's trying to get him to actually do something but instead he’s just sitting there throwing paper airplanes at you while you sleep

he’s an annoying asshole but it's okay because he gives you money for absurd reasons

p!eret:

eret has such a comfortable presence

i feel like she wouldn’t be up for cuddling too much

more of like putting your head on a friends shoulder so you can see the tweet their showing you

but they do like to hold hands

holding hands isn’t very intimate but it's also just such a sweet comforting thing

she even holds your hand when you guys are out walking around

like if you guys were getting food somewhere (post-covid of course)

you most likely would get addressed as a couple

and he would just be like”...wut?”

it’s happened so many times at this point you just go along with it

“you guys look like such a cute couple!”

“oh we aren't-” “thank you!”

can you tell that i love eret?

p!philza:

phil always has such dad vibes

i feel like the closest he would get to cuddling is hugs and hand holding

even though cuddling isn’t inherently romantic, he is married to kristen

so i fell he would get most of his touch in with her

but with you he’s just so fatherly

hello dadza

whether you have a good or bad relationship with your father, everyone can admit that philza minecraft is dadza

this is such a dad thing, but tries to hold you hand when you cross the street

no matter the age, he just feels the need to protect you

hugs are similar

uses hugs as a way to comfort you and protect you

just so amazing all around

p!tubbo:

tubbo would love cuddling in any way, shape, or form

if you guys are hanging out at like the park or something and lying down

get ready to become this mans pillow

this is really fun to do with your friends but imagine you guys are hanging out in a field type area (with my friends we hand out in the field next to the cemetery but it can be any open grass area)

tubbo would just use your lap as a pillow the whole time

and when you guys were walking back to his house he would sorta drape his arms over your shoulders (assuming he’s taller than you)

he would do the same thing when you guys were sitting in chairs or at a desk

just drapes his arms over your shoulder with his chin on your head

if it's really late and he's tired he’ll just hug you

p!ranboo:

if you thought tubbo is bad, ranboo is even worse

not even really cuddling, he just likes having a sort of skin-to-skin contact

so handholding and laying on top of eachother

if he’s streaming he will legitimately message ou to just sit next to him

so sometimes if he’s just chilling by himself on the smp you’ll end up on his streams

he’ll have you next to him just because he likes be near someone

and so randomly it’ll just be like “chat, a real human is here, behave”

chat does not behave

(they heavily bully him)

he’s pretty clingy but when you HAVE to leave he’ll understand and just be a bit bummed out

holy shit this took me so long-

if you read this whole thing thank you!

#mcyt x reader #wilbur soot x reader #karl jacobs x reader #nihachu x reader #quackity x reader #dream x reader #georgenotfound x reader #sapnap x reader #tommyinnit x reader #badboyhalo x reader #skeppy x reader #eret x reader #philza x reader #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #kermie's headcanons #kermie spent so long on this and is dying

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spiltscribbles · 3 years

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Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚

OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3

The FIC this HC is from

So first off some background on his mum in the story

I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine, so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!!

She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh

She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on when he comes out as gay.

It was 1950 when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side, she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.

They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.

So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in 1955, subsequent to Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely.

They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).

So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers. And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.

Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.

The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.

Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda.

There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally�� meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously, she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst.

The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement.

Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.

The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.

But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.

It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!

Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)

It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.

Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.

When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE! And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.

Ok so sadness warning

In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen scarf that smelt like her perfume.

It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.

One night, in late 1979, while the war was only getting worse and worse— Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.

Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?

Thank you again dear Nonny!!!

Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #MARAUDERS #THE HARRY POTTER SERIES #SIRIUSXREMUS #REMUSXSIRIUS #HEADCANONS #HEADCANONS BY LEN #FIC: MAMA LUPIN IS A BABE

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themadauthorshatter · 3 years

Text

TOPPAT!CHARLES PART 6

HEY! HEY, YOU!

Don't scroll past this!

Why, you ask?

Simple.

TIME FOR TOPPAT!CHARLES PART 6!!!!!

Sorry if I scared you there, I'm just über excited for this one, I sincerely am, you have no idea!!!

If you haven’t read the previous parts, you can find them RIGHT HERE:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

Part 5:

Previously on Toppat!Charles: Our pilot friend learned the hard way it's not a good idea to say 'no' to the Right Hand Man, and has accepted his offer. Meanwhile, Henry has been having nightmares of his different end selves disagreeing with his decision and chastising him for letting Charles get taken by Right.

HEADCANON/THEORY FOLLOWING OF THE CHAPTER: Watch this theory by Two Left Thumbs, and you'll know instantly. A hint, though, Ellie is dealing with this in her own way; she and Henry ARE connected in more ways than one😉: https://youtu.be/LjOCfKOqkic

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youtube

Got that? FANTASTIC!!

LET'S DIVE RIGHT BACK IN!!!!

Henry walks down a hallway and toward a break room for breakfast; he, Ellie, and Charles do have an apartment, but the general wants them to stay until Charles is back home safely.

It has been at least a few weeks since part 5, and that time, in addition to the nightmares, has taken its toll. Henry’s hair is messy, his clothes are wrinkled, and bags have formed under his eyes.

As he reaches the doorway, someone is there to greet him.

“Morning, Mr. Stickmin.”

Bill Bullet sits at one of the tables, having just finished his own breakfast and is now fidgeting with his empty coffee cup.

Henry takes a seat across from him and rests his head on his hand.

“You doing alright? You look like Hell in a hand basket.”

'Hard time sleeping,' Henry signs as he yawns.

"Well, don't go sleeping on me. We're moving today."

Henry looks up at him, now awake and alert.

"Some of my men saw movement from the orbital station on oir satellite. They might be paying Earth a visit."

Henry pulls a newspaper ad out of his pocket and uncrinkles it and shows it to Bullet, tapping on it.

It's an add for a museum exhibit in a neighboring city close to the one Henry robbed in StD, said exhibit being a sapphire, like a large sapphire, like the size of the diamond, ruby, and emerald. It's tempting for Henry to not steal the sapphire and slip back into old habits.

This is an excellent target for the clan.

'The Right Hand Man should be, too.'

Bullet smirks and nods. "I've got a team ready for you. We'll leave on your call."

TIME JUMP TO THE MUSEUM!!!!!

Henry and his team and Ellie enter the museum with little to no problem; Henry brought Ellie for emotional support and so he could show her the sapphire. (A small gift to her for everything she's done as his friend)

They have some close calls like Ellie almost getting seen by a guard, one of the CCC men almost shoots another guard "just in case," and another guard almost falls on yet another guard.

After that, they get to the sapphire exhibit and take out the guards in a way that doesn't get them (the guards) killed. After that, they all sit down and play the waiting game.

The CCC men do a sweep of the area and ready themselves at different parts of the exhibit, hiding in spots and ready to strike. Ellie and Henry take a seat near the sapphire itself, admiring it before focusing back on the mission.

Henry lets his mind wander, thinking about how once they save Charles, Henry will take his place in the CCC. It's the kind of thought that gives them a sick feeling, but all he can think is 'As long as Charles is safe, it'll be worth it.'

He remembers Terrence's words about how life is for living and bites his tongue.

I've seen families live together just fine with no riches, no crime, and no Toppat Clan. We really meant that little to you?

He gets a tap on his shoulder and looks over to see Ellie holding out a cup of coffee to him, a thermos, maybe two, next to her.

"I thought you could use some, since we're gonna be here for a while."

Henry shakes his head and tries to push it away. 'No thanks. I don't really like coffee. Gives me a headache.'

Ellie gives him a withering look. "When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

When Henry doesn't answer, Ellie smirks and holds out the coffee once more. "Yeah, thought so."

Henry rolls his eyes and takes the cup, signing with his free hand, 'Fine. When did you become my mother?'

"When you became a child," Ellie barks as she lightly bonks Henry on the head. "And when you came back from visiting your father." She leans back and puts the back of her free hand against her eyes, looking as dramatic as possible. "What they say is true: A boy really needs the love of a mother."

Henry scoffs and shakes his head with a smile before writing on her palm again with his finger. 'I already have a mother.'

Ellie sits straight, now intrigued. "You don't talk about them a lot. Your parents, I mean."

Henry raises an eyebrow and points to her as he nods, gesturing either, 'You don't, either' or 'Neither do you.' Same message, different phrasing.

It's Ellie's turn to shake her head. "They're not people I want to talk about. I doubt my dad would let me visit him, even in a situation like this."

Henry pauses from drinking his coffee.

"Your dad said life is for living. I can't say he's wrong for saying that." She turns her head to Henry, looking him in the eye even those he's staring off into outer space/zoning out. "It's just hard to live life when..." She looks away again, lowers her voice, just so the CCC men don't hear her, and clenches her fists on her knees. "When you can't stop living."

Henry nods as he goes for another sip of coffee.

Then he stops.

'It's hard to live life when you can't stop living.'

Those words make Henry slowly lower his cup and turn to Ellie, looking at her both incredulously and with fear.

"What?" He asks under his breath.

Before Ellie can answer, something is thrown into the exhibit and EXPLODES, filling the room with smoke and no one really getting too injured.

The CCC men fall one by one from being grabbed from behind and put into a sleeper hold, and the toaats responsible run over, mostly undetected because of the smoke.

Henry is seemingly tackled down by Ellie as the two hear glass breaking above them.

The sapphire's case is open.

Henry sees a toppat get close and shoots him in the shoulder, not enough to kill him but enough to get him running away.

"Good shot!" Ellie yells between coughs because the alarms been set off.

Henry points to his gun, then to his hand as he shakes his head with a "Mh-mm." 'I was aiming for his hand.'

The two go toe to toe with a pair of toppats like in the very beginning of this series, but something's different. When Henry kicks his opponent away, the toppat scurries away from the two. And Ellie's just runs when she's just started fighting.

"What's going on?"

Henry shrugs and then looks over at the sapphire.

You know that face and stance he does in Toppat King when the rocket takes off without him? Weeeeellll...

Henry's face drops completely as he holds the sides of his face, gasping loudly.

Ellie is equally flabbergasted, and a little annoyed at how well this plan actually worked in the toppat's favor.

A little too well, I'd say.

"What do we-"

Henry runs after the toppat Ellie was fighting before she can finish asking him.

The three race through multiple exhibits, the toppat throwing down trash bins and benches in order to slow them down.

Henry, however, has the power of friendship and adrenaline and keeps up with him evry step of the way.

"Stop!" He yells. "Where is he!?"

The toppat fumbles, but still continues running. Ellie picks up her pave unitl she's in front of Henry.

"Where's Charles!?"

The chase takes the two of them outside, Henry falls behind, where the toppat makes a sharp turn to the wall.

Ellie sees this a second too late as she is hit in the nose with a cybernetic hand, knocking her down, but not knocking her out, even when a cybernetic foot is put on her freshly healed rib.

"'Ello. It's been a while, 'asn't it?"

Ellie glares up at Right and tries to move his foot.

"Last time I saw you, you had to get carried in a stretcher."

"And you took our friend," Ellie sneers.

Right rolls his eyes; these kids do not play around, which he admires, but it does get annoying when he's in a playing mood.

"Charles. Our friend. What did you do with him?"

Right smirks and looks over his shoulder. "Looks like this one missed you, after all. You'll fit in perfect with the two of them now." Right moves his foot and approaches whoever he's talking to, and Ellie takes this opportunity to try to get the jump on him.

The toppat sees this INSTANTLY.

🤨... I don't know anout you guys, but I feel like I'm forgetting something here.🤔🤔

OH, YEAH!!!

Henry runs out just in time to see this toppat shoot Ellie in the hip.

If this was a movie, we would hear nothing, no music, no talking, just the sound of the gun firing and echoing as the bullet either gets lodged in Ellie's hip or goes THROUGH her hip, close to the joint of her leg. We would get a shot of Ellie's face, eyes wide, brows furrowed and widely arced, like those despair looking anime faces, and lips slightly parted as shock sets in. We would also get three more shots, one from her perspective as she sees the toppat lower his gun,one behind Ellie as she falls back, and the third being on the ground and slightly in front of her as Henry freezes where he is and watches her fall.

BUT HE DOESN'T STAY THIS WAY.

"You BASTARD!" Henry screams as he charges toward Right, who steps back and throws him into the toppat.

The sight of him not only snaps Henry out of his rage, it completely throughs him into a despaired shock.

He's lost a lot of weight in his captivity, and Henry can feel it through his suit and see it in his cheeks, jaw, neck, and eyes, which are blood shot, empty and glassy. His hair's grown longer to where it is past his shoulders and kept in a low ponytail, the rest held back by gel and his own top hat so it stays out of his face. He's gotten pale from his time in space and not being exposed to sunlight and vitamin D.

For a second, neither recognize each other, but Henry is the first to as his chest goes hollow.

"Charles!" He quickly embraces his friend, who is still quiet and nit exactly reacting, but the gears start turning in his head as he realizes who's talking to and hugging him.

Right watches ans his smirk widens as Henry let Charles go and turns to him, tears pouring down his cheeks and now angry as hell.

"What did you do to him!?"

Right looks back at Charles, prompting Henry to do the same.

"Henry?"

A smile grows on Henry's face as he helps his friend up.

"Charles, I'm so sorry! I should've-"

BANG!

Henry falls backward, but doesn't die. Instead, the ground melts away beneath him and he gasps as the bullet wound heals on his forehead. You know that feeling you get when you're falling asleep and feel like your mattress is floating on the ocean waves? Henry feels that until he's back looking up at Right.

This time, he looks at Charles to see Charles is literally about to shoot him, but he hits and throws it away before Charles flips him over and smashes his fist into Henry's face repeatedly until Henry throws him off and stands back up, Charles standing as well and glaring at him, absolutely livid.

"Why'd you do it?" Charles growls. "Why didn't you help me when I needed you!?"

The hollow feeling in Henry's chest worsens as Charles stares him down. Part is him is more than willing to break down into tears, but all the time watching the tapes Right showed him in Part 5 have made his body producing tears next to impossible.

Right only stands back and watches because, as you probably put together, THIS is plan. Not only to take a friend, Charles, away from Henry, but to have said friend destroy him.

"I'm sor-"

Before Henry can finish, Charles punches him again.

"TELL ME!" His voice is a little broken, but he keeps yelling out of frustration and sheer anger because, yes, while Henry sent the destroyers and the government to help Charles, he didn't stop Right in the jungle during the mission. "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM!? WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME!? YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND LET ME GET TAKEN AWAY!"

Henry doesn't have the fight in him to stop Charles from yelling at him or punching him. He doesn't even have it in him to look Charles in the eye.

And that bothers Charles immensely.

"Why won't you say anything?" Charles asks. "No matter what, you've always stayed quiet."

When Henry still remains silent, Charles swings a punch into his face hard enough to make Henry fall down.

"SAY SOMETHING!"

Henry holds up his hands, revealing how much he's been crying and how hard Charles has been hitting him; Henry's nose is broken, one of his eyes his swollen shut, his lips are split, and a tooth is loose.

Physically unable to speak, Henry signs to Charles instead, 'I'm sorry.'

Charels quickly kneels down and snatches Henry's hand.

"I want to hear you say it."

Henry tries forcing those words out, but his throat tightens up and leaves him unable to speak. He tries again and his crying becomes worse as he shakes his head.

"SAY IT!" Charles screams.

Henry breaks down as he shakes his head again, signing and gesturing as much as he can.

Charles rises to his feet, his eyes going glassy and his face expressionless. "I figured as much." He kicks Henry in the mouth and turns to Right. "We're done here. Send a message back to the station. We got the sapphire."

Right nods as his smirk becomes a smile. "Yes, sir."

Henry stands up on shaky legs and stiltedly walks towards his friend.

"Ch-Charles."

Charles shuts his eyes and heaves a breath through his nose, his top hat in his hands.

"Charles, w-wait-"

Charles wheels around as he watches Henry stumble toward him.

"I... I-"

"Don't bother."

Charles holds the hand gun Henry made him drop and aims it at Henry.

"I've heard enough."

When Charles shoots, Henry does not feel the bullet when it is lodged into his waist.

Henry is standing long enough to see Right, Charles, and any remaining toppats be beamed up to the orbital station with the sapphire.

The glare from Charles stays in Henry's mind as he falls, eyes locked on the night sky as Charles's words replay over and over in his mind.

Ellie groans as she crawls over to Henry and falls on her good side, where Charles didn't shoot her.

"We tried," she says as she breathes shakily and hold his shoulder, more his shirt, but I digress. "We tried."

The CCC guards do eventually wake up and get Ellie and Henry back to the government base. Both get immediate medical attention, which leads to Henry getting surgery to get the bullet out and seeing Ellie suddenly begin to panic and shout repeatedly, "I can't feel my leg!"

TIME JUMP TO AFTER HIS SURGERY!

Henry wakes up in his own room and finds that Galeforce is sitting in a chair, hunched forward, fists shaking, and his hat off.

"General?"

Galeforce puts his hat back on and sits straight. His eyes are red rimmed and have bags underneath them now. "Morning, Henry. How're you feeling?"

Henry holds his hand out and sort of tilts it on a way to say, 'Fine.'

Galeforce forces a smile and sighs.

"Ellie's still in the infirmary. That shot form-" He gulps and coughs a little bit. "-From the toppat... did a number on her leg. She won't be on the field for a long time."

Henry sits up, even when his body aches, and picks up a pen and notepad on his bedside table.

'They got the sapphire.'

Galeforce nods. "I know."

Henry shakes as he writes on the notepad again before dropping both and resting his forehead on his knees while loosely hugging his knees. Galeforce hangs his head and lets Henry cry; he doesn't really have much to say anyway.

'Charles,' the notepad reads.

HOLY SHIT DID THIS ONE TAKE FOREVER!!!!!

But that is a really good thing😁!

I hope you all enjoyed this one because I certainly did!!

I'm probably going to take a break from this for a little bit because of how much of an emotional roller coaster this is, and so I don't get burn out. I will come back to this because I love this series, I guess you can say I'm letting my cake cool down before adding the frosting or letting the pot sit so it make good caramel or fudge.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much for following this series. I appreciate each and every one of you so much!

I hope you all stay safe this season, thank you again for reading and following, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

#henry stickmin #toppat!charles #ellie rose #ellry #angst #gun tw #blood tw #violence tw #theory #charles calvin

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shattered-catalyst · 5 years

Text

So this isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it.

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it.

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period. It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients. During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*. She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything.

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry, and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life.

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning.

I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are.

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

#suicide tw #gaslighting tw #emotional abuse tw

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nordic-breeze · 5 years

Text

I was tagged by @muse-of-nightmares thank you lovely <3 this was so much fun

Rules are to answer some questions about writing and pass the tag along :)

Author Name: Nordic_Breeze across media or platforms, sometimes with hyphen, sometimes with underscore, sometimes I have to get clever with numbers. My real name is Lisa.

Fandoms You Write For: At the moment, Red Dead Redemption 2 only. I have written two lengthy fics in the past for Haunting Ground, and Heavy Rain.

Where You Post: Mostly on AO3, occasionally here on Tumblr, used to post on ff(dot)net.

Most Popular One-Shot: In terms of overall popularity across sites, my very first RDR2 oneshot An Unexpected Offer. My most popular in terms of singular hits, kudos and bookmarks on AO3 is The Home Robbery That Went Horribly Wrong. Or did it?

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: That would be Fiona’s Nightmare, starting out as a one shot detailing the opening cutscene of Haunting Ground it ended up as a 94k+ full length novelization of the entire game (now 84k+ after edits) with my own twists and ending.

Favorite Story You Wrote: They are all my babies. I can’t choose. They all came from a place of passion and love for a character, and tied to each story are so many memories and feels. Each one of my stories evoke a series of emotions in me, unique to that story. I simply cannot choose.

A Story You Were Nervous to Post: More than I always am every time I upload something, you mean? Uploading new chapters of wips are always tense with the omg what if people hate the direction this is taking stress that usually follows until I’ve reassured myself that it’s my story after all.

However, the story that I posted with the most energetic tummy-butterflies was a one shot A Gentle Touch. The inspiration for that particular one was different than for my other stories, and (perhaps therefore) the theme is one that I would normally consider too personal for me to touch upon. While all my other stories came from a place of ardent, zealous passion for an idea of that particular character in that particular situation, A Gentle Touch came from, well stumbling over some headcanons and viewpoints which I disagreed with, spite giving way for bashfulness I penned my own story with my own take on the subjects. And now I link to it here coz I am no longer ashamed (as evident by the A/N), so I decided to ‘own it’ :p

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Titles are my Achilles heel. In most cases, my working title ends up being the actual title. The only title I am proud of is ‘A New Beginning’.

Do You Outline: With my Heavy Rain story I did outline the canon timeline fairly detailed and took it from there. But usually my outline is ‘scrolling to the end of the doc and type in future plot and scene ideas in keyword form and as I get new ideas, I type them in the same way where I think they will fit’ – and then I’ll just wing it from thereon. It works for me.

Complete: My two novel-length, non-RDR2 fics, six RDR2 one shots, and a two-chapter sequel to my Bath Time With Arthur one shot.

In-Progress: I am currently working on two wips: A New Beginning, three chapters in, which is the concluding sequel to my series The Outlaw And The Girl Next Door, and a sequel to the home robbery one mentioned earlier called Crossing Paths Again, four out of seven chapters in.

Coming Soon: more chapter for my two aforementioned wips, and (maybe) more Arthur/Reader oneshots.

Do You Accept Prompts: I’ve been thinking of it, and while I may in the future, I have, after careful consideration, decided that for now, it is not right for me. There is a part of me that want to. It would be a great way to interact more with the fandom, to talk more about the world and characters of RDR2 and to give myself exposure, but I know how much I stress and obsess over my own writing. It’s hard enough to write what I am myself passionate about, let alone prompts/characters/ships I might not be into myself or ‘feel’ ya know. Then there would be the added stress of what if this is not what they wanted, or what if they are sad that I declined the request?

I’m happy to discuss characters, events, headcanons ets though. That goes for all the games I regularly post (reblog) about.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Finally getting started on an Arthur/OC story that I’ve been thinking of for months now! It’s not something I expect to gain much interest but for my own sake. Through writing I can express my love for Arthur, create my very own, personal moments with Arthur and make him happy. It makes me happy, and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. Unless my muse fails me more than my love for Arthur inspires me, I will keep writing about Arthur. Since my brain’s in shuffle mode, I can’t pick one scenario or plot, though I always wanted to do a Tomb Raider- or The Mummy-inspired Arthur/Reader or Arthur/OC treasure hunt story. Also have an idea for Arthur being hired to be your (or my OC’s) bodyguard.

I have more one-shot ideas for Arthur/reader that I want to see come to life.

This got a bit long ^^’ thank you for reading!

tagging only if you want to and haven’t done it yet. If you have, or just doesn’t want to sorry for the trouble ^^’ And if you see this and you want to, consider yourself tagged!

@shethenightwolf @mrsescuella @gangofoutlaws @outlawers @mrsarthurmorgan7 @mileycyprus-hill

#about me #long post

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