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#these are not particularly cohesive but. it used to be worse.
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Sympathy for the spammer
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Catch me in Miami! I'll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables on Jan 22 at 8PM.
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In any scam, any con, any hustle, the big winners are the people who supply the scammers – not the scammers themselves. The kids selling dope on the corner are making less than minimum wage, while the respectable crime-bosses who own the labs clean up. Desperate "retail investors" who buy shitcoins from Superbowl ads get skinned, while the MBA bros who issue the coins make millions (in real dollars, not crypto).
It's ever been thus. The California gold rush was a con, and nearly everyone who went west went broke. Famously, the only reliable way to cash out on the gold rush was to sell "picks and shovels" to the credulous, doomed and desperate. That's how Leland Stanford made his fortune, which he funneled into eugenics programs (and founding a university):
https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/malcolm-harris/palo-alto/9780316592031/
That means that the people who try to con you are almost always getting conned themselves. Think of Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) scams. My forthcoming novel The Bezzle opens with a baroque and improbable fast-food Ponzi in the town of Avalon on the island of Catalina, founded by the chicle monopolist William Wrigley Jr:
http://thebezzle.org
Wrigley found fast food declasse and banned it from the island, a rule that persists to this day. In The Bezzle, the forensic detective Martin Hench uncovers The Fry Guys, an MLM that flash-freezes contraband burgers and fries smuggled on-island from the mainland and sells them to islanders though an "affiliate marketing" scheme that is really about recruiting other affiliate markets to sell under you. As with every MLM, the value of the burgers and fries sold is dwarfed by the gigantic edifice of finance fraud built around it, with "points" being bought and sold for real cash, which is snaffled up and sucked out of the island by a greedy mainlander who is behind the scheme.
A "bezzle" is John Kenneth Galbraith's term for "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it." In every scam, there's a period where everyone feels richer – but only the scammers are actually cleaning up. The wealth of the marks is illusory, but the longer the scammer can preserve the illusion, the more real money the marks will pump into the system.
MLMs are particularly ugly, because they target people who are shut out of economic opportunity – women, people of color, working people. These people necessarily rely on social ties for survival, looking after each others' kids, loaning each other money they can't afford, sharing what little they have when others have nothing.
It's this social cohesion that MLMs weaponize. Crypto "entrepreneurs" are encouraged to suck in their friends and family by telling them that they're "building Black wealth." Working women are exhorted to suck in their bffs by appealing to their sisterhood and the chance for "women to lift each other up."
The "sales people" trying to get you to buy crypto or leggings or supplements are engaged in predatory conduct that will make you financially and socially worse off, wrecking their communities' finances and shattering the mutual aid survival networks they rely on. But they're not getting rich on this – they're also being scammed:
https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4686468
This really hit home for me in the mid-2000s, when I was still editing Boing Boing. We had a submission form where our readers could submit links for us to look at for inclusion on the blog, and it was overwhelmed by spam. We'd add all kinds of antispam to it, and still, we'd get floods of hundreds or even thousands of spam submissions to it.
One night, I was lying in my bed in London and watching these spams roll in. They were all for small businesses in the rustbelt, handyman services, lawn-care, odd jobs, that kind of thing. They were 10 million miles from the kind of thing we'd ever post about on Boing Boing. They were coming in so thickly that I literally couldn't finish downloading my email – the POP session was dropping before I could get all the mail in the spool. I had to ssh into my mail server and delete them by hand. It was maddening.
Frustrated and furious, I started calling the phone numbers associated with these small businesses, demanding an explanation. I assumed that they'd hired some kind of sleazy marketing service and I wanted to know who it was so I could give them a piece of my mind.
But what I discovered when I got through was much weirder. These people had all been laid off from factories that were shuttering due to globalization. As part of their termination packages, their bosses had offered them "retraining" via "courses" in founding their own businesses.
The "courses" were the precursors to the current era's rise-and-grind hustle-culture scams (again, the only people getting rich from that stuff are the people selling the courses – the "students" finish the course poorer). They promised these laid-off workers, who'd given their lives to their former employers before being discarded, that they just needed to pull themselves up by their own boostraps:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/10/declaration-of-interdependence/#solidarity-forever
After all, we had the internet now! There were so many new opportunities to be your own boss! The course came with a dreadful build-your-own-website service, complete with an overpriced domain sales portal, and a single form for submitting your new business to "thousands of search engines."
This was nearly 20 years ago, but even then, there was really only one search engine that mattered: Google. The "thousands of search engines" the scammers promised to submit these desperate peoples' websites to were just submission forms for directories, indexes, blogs, and mailing lists. The number of directories, indexes, blogs and mailing lists that would publish their submissions was either "zero" or "nearly zero." There was certainly no possibility that anyone at Boing Boing would ever press the wrong key and accidentally write a 500-word blog post about a leaf-raking service in a collapsing deindustrialized exurb in Kentucky or Ohio.
The people who were drowning me in spam weren't the scammers – they were the scammees.
But that's only half the story. Years later, I discovered how our submission form was getting included in this get-rich-quick's mass-submission system. It was a MLM! Coders in the former Soviet Union were getting work via darknet websites that promised them relative pittances for every submission form they reverse-engineered and submitted. The smart coders didn't crack the forms directly – they recruited other, less business-savvy coders to do that for them, and then often as not, ripped them off.
The scam economy runs on this kind of indirection, where scammees are turned into scammers, who flood useful and productive and nice spaces with useless dross that doesn't even make them any money. Take the submission queue at Clarkesworld, the great online science fiction magazine, which famously had to close after it was flooded with thousands of junk submission "written" by LLMs:
https://www.npr.org/2023/02/24/1159286436/ai-chatbot-chatgpt-magazine-clarkesworld-artificial-intelligence
There was a zero percent chance that Neil Clarke would accidentally accept one of these submissions. They were uniformly terrible. The people submitting these "stories" weren't frustrated sf writers who'd discovered a "life hack" that let them turn out more brilliant prose at scale.
They were scammers who'd been scammed into thinking that AIs were the key to a life of passive income, a 4-Hour Work-Week powered by an AI-based self-licking ice-cream cone:
https://pod.link/1651876897/episode/995c8a778ede17d2d7cff393e5203157
This is absolutely classic passive-income brainworms thinking. "I have a bot that can turn out plausible sentences. I will locate places where sentences can be exchanged for money, aim my bot at it, sit back, and count my winnings." It's MBA logic on meth: find a thing people pay for, then, without bothering to understand why they pay for that thing, find a way to generate something like it at scale and bombard them with it.
Con artists start by conning themselves, with the idea that "you can't con an honest man." But the factor that predicts whether someone is connable isn't their honesty – it's their desperation. The kid selling drugs on the corner, the mom desperately DMing her high-school friends to sell them leggings, the cousin who insists that you get in on their shitcoin – they're all doing it because the system is rigged against them, and getting worse every day.
These people reason – correctly – that all the people getting really rich are scamming. If Amazon can make $38b/year selling "ads" that push worse products that cost more to the top of their search results, why should the mere fact that an "opportunity" is obviously predatory and fraudulent disqualify it?
https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/29/aethelred-the-unready/#not-one-penny-for-tribute
The quest for passive income is really the quest for a "greater fool," the economist's term for the person who relieves you of the useless crap you just overpaid for. It rots the mind, atomizes communities, shatters solidarity and breeds cynicism:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security
The rise and rise of botshit cannot be separated from this phenomenon. The botshit in our search-results, our social media feeds, and our in-boxes isn't making money for the enshittifiers who send it – rather, they are being hustled by someone who's selling them the "picks and shovels" for the AI gold rush:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy
That's the true cost of all the automation-driven unemployment criti-hype: while we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no
The manic "entrepreneurs" who've been stampeded into panic by the (correct) perception that the economy is a game of musical chairs where the number of chairs is decreasing at breakneck speed are easy marks for the Leland Stanfords of AI, who are creating generational wealth for themselves by promising that their bots will automate away all the tedious work that goes into creating value. Expect a lot more Amazon Marketplace products called "I'm sorry, I cannot fulfil this request as it goes against OpenAI use policy":
https://www.theverge.com/2024/1/12/24036156/openai-policy-amazon-ai-listings
No one's going to buy these products, but the AI picks-and-shovels people will still reap a fortune from the attempt. And because history repeats itself, these newly minted billionaires are continuing Leland Stanford's love affair with eugenics:
https://www.truthdig.com/dig-series/eugenics/
The fact that AI spam doesn't pay is important to the fortunes of AI companies. Most high-value AI applications are very risk-intolerant (self-driving cars, radiology analysis, etc). An AI tool might help a human perform these tasks more accurately – by warning them of things that they've missed – but that's not how AI will turn a profit. There's no market for AI that makes your workers cost more but makes them better at their jobs:
https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/
Plenty of people think that spam might be the elusive high-value, low-risk AI application. But that's just not true. The point of AI spam is to get clicks from people who are looking for better content. It's SEO. No one reads 2000 words of algorithm-pleasing LLM garbage over an omelette recipe and then subscribes to that site's feed.
And the omelette recipe generates pennies for the spammer that posted it. They are doing massive volume in order to make those pennies into dollars. You don't make money by posting one spam. If every spammer had to pay the actual recovery costs (energy, chillers, capital amortization, wages) for their query, every AI spam would lose (lots of) money.
Hustle culture and passive income are about turning other peoples' dollars into your dimes. It is a negative-sum activity, a net drain on society. Behind every seemingly successful "passive income" is a con artist who's getting rich by promising – but not delivering – that elusive passive income, and then blaming the victims for not hustling hard enough:
https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/blog/2023/12/blueprint-trouble
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I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
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Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
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demigodofhoolemere · 3 months
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Collecting all of my thoughts on the 60th specials now that they’re over and there’s a cohesive overall picture, because I had many and I want to de-clutter them in my head for my own sake. Not in any particular order of significance, just stream of consciousness as I rewatch.
Be warned that while there were definitely things I enjoyed, there’s going to be a good bit of negativity in here, so if you understandably don’t want to see critiques of something you really liked, please do yourself the favor and don’t read this. I know what it’s like to see very negative takes on something you loved a lot and I know how bad it can feel as it sits with you in your stomach for a while if you’re particularly sensitive to it. Enter at your own risk. Also, I’m not looking to be argued with so if you read any of this and disagree with me on things, please just keep scrolling. This is just me throwing my thoughts at the wall.
And obviously, massive spoiler warnings here. I’ll be talking freely about all the things.
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THE STAR BEAST
- I’ve seen people make fun of the opening but I don’t find anything wrong with it in particular. The Doctor standing there like he was cut and pasted is a little silly but it’s not laughably bad either. I get the feeling they realized after they’d already shot the specials that they needed a recap and threw it together pretty quickly but it’s not terrible.
- The new credits are GORGEOUS and the music makes me very happy.
- I have issues with it that I’ll get into but despite myself it’s nice to see Tennant again. He was my first Doctor and his era is very nostalgic for me so it would be hard to be totally unhappy to have him around.
- That said, now with the context that the return of this face somehow has nothing to do with the Toymaker, I’m baffled and not a fan of bringing him back just for the sake of it. I really thought there was going to be SOME kind of interference by the Toymaker that would be delved into a bit when he eventually turned up, something to justify this, but no. Which means that he really is just back because that particular regeneration needed closure or something, and yeah, Ten had issues and not the happiest sendoff, but in my personal opinion it just feels more like favoritism from RTD. For 57 years, regeneration has meant letting go, and it comes across like RTD can’t do that if he has to make up non-interference-related reasons for bringing an old face back and thereby altering regeneration mythos (which he does again in an even worse way later…) by suddenly saying it’s possible for a past life to come back. I know there’s technically precedence for old faces returning, in the form of the Curator, but that was done so quickly and vaguely that it’s not invasive. This is asking us to go along with old faces coming back for *checks notes* reasons, and to give a whole new number, altering our numbering system forever, to who is essentially just Ten again. I’m sorry, but I am never calling him Fourteen. I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll have to refer to Ncuti as Fifteen and so on from there, but that’s just Ten. The only difference is that he’s got three more lives in his head that make very slight differences to his personality. Very, very slight. But it’s bugging the crud out of me that Tennant is apparently so special that it’s fine to randomly have him become himself again, that he gets two numbers, and is now being made to appear twice on every poster that has the full lineup. I am never going to acknowledge him as a whole new regeneration between Jodie and Ncuti, I’m sorry. I adore Tennant, he’s my first and I’m legally obligated to mention that I do love him extremely dearly, but if none of this had anything to do with the Toymaker torturing him and playing with his emotions or something by making him look like his old self who had so much baggage, then this whole thing is immediately silly and self-indulgent on RTD’s part.
- I know that the Doctor and Donna were brought together again because the two of them combined as the DoctorDonna could save London, but it happens so fast and without emotion. Their paths just sort of happen to cross, immediately. It’s done very quickly and in a way that doesn’t let me feel the full weight of him reacting to seeing her again.
- However I love seeing Donna again. She’s very much the same Donna I’ve always loved and it’s great to see her.
- I do like bringing back the recurring joke of Donna missing out on obvious alien attacks, lol.
- Nice that this stuff takes place in Camden seeing as Bill Hartnell partly grew up there.
- I appreciate moments like the psychic paper saying “Grand Mistress” instead of “Grand Master” as acknowledgment of Thirteen’s existence. I was worried she’d be entirely swept under the rug.
- Allons-y! 💙 That does my inner 2012 self’s heart good.
- Shaun Temple is a sweetheart and a delight.
- Gotta love throwing in one last reference to Nerys, lol.
- Donna, I’m proud of you for being such a good person that you want to give away your money to people in need, but keep at least SOME of it, girl! You’ve got a family!
- Shirley Anne Bingham is awesome and she can stay as long as she likes.
- Oh boy… pretty much everything to do with Rose feels very ham-fisted and clumsy to me. You can have a trans character without going about it like this. If the point is supposed to be to normalize portraying it in media, then it should be natural, not be about making a point. Shoving it down the audience’s throat every minute is naturally going to make people dislike the writing, even people who fully agree with the intent. I’ve already seen a fair number of LGBT+ viewers discuss this being poorly done. It doesn’t feel well-written to me and I don’t think it’s going to age particularly well either. More on this later as the worst of it crops up.
- I love Sylvia trying so hard to protect Donna by completely denying anything alien and acting like everything is normal. This poor woman is doing everything she can. I never thought I’d like her so much.
- Sad to hear Donna talk about feeling like she’s lost something but never knowing what it is.
- The Meep and the Wrarth Warriors all look incredible.
- Not a fan of the sonic basically being a magic wand. There’s a reason they ended up ditching it in the Classic series, because it was getting so that the Doctor relied too much on it, and that was before it had anywhere near the convenient powers it’s had throughout the modern series. This is a big step even further than they’ve ever taken it before and it really took me out of it. The sonic shouldn’t be able to create Iron Man HUD screens or Green Lantern hard light shields. I’m hoping they don’t do that again as the show continues.
- Murray Gold’s music is beautiful and it’s great to have it back. It does have a tendency to get too loud, though. I like to hear what people are saying.
- I do quite like the interactions between the Doctor and Shirley. She’s got a good personality to bounce off of him. I especially like them waving at each other as he sneaks off onto the UNIT truck.
- That pretty purple light coming from the ship was more exciting when I thought it was the Toymaker’s power coming to control them. Oh well.
- Love Donna’s reaction to the Meep.
- Poor Sylvia at her wit’s end. Someone help that woman.
- While it’s fitting that the Doctor has now been slapped by the trifecta of mothers from the RTD era, I’m not sure that we should still be doing gags like that where it’s apparently okay and funny to slap someone if they’re a man. The reverse would go down very differently. At least in context it makes perfect sense for Sylvia to be angry that he’s shown up and to want to get rid of him, but I hope that kind of humor doesn’t stay.
- Shaun walking in on all of this chaos like
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- Nice to see the Doctor get emotional over Wilf. Same, dude.
- ^ I also really like that Kate took it upon herself to get him into a nice care home practically for free. I appreciate that she gets in touch with so many of the companions and that she’d go out of her way to help him have what he needs. I could see her dad doing that, too. I’d like to think that Yates is in the same care home (considering Richard Franklin is in real life at this point) and he and Wilf can share stories.
- Gaaahh at, “You’re assuming ‘he’ as a pronoun?” Nobody talks like this.
- Not sure the Doctor should be talking so freely about aliens and two hearts right in front of Donna and risk her remembering. He even casually hands her the sonic for a moment and shortly after starts explaining what it is. Probably not the best idea. Bit careless, mate.
- Part of me feels like the barrister wig bit is a little too silly, but then again:
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- Anyone who had any awareness of the original comic was already waiting for the Meep’s turn, but knowing didn’t make it any less of a good reveal. I liked the very sudden shift.
- Shirley having weapons in her wheelchair, heck yeah. Reminds me of the Brig’s concealed gun in his cane in SJA.
- I like Donna feeling compelled to help even if she can’t remember having ever done anything like this. I also like Sylvia’s chilled realization that Donna called him “Doctor” without having ever been told.
- Lol at the kid watching the destruction from the window and not running or looking freaked out in the slightest. Boy has no self-preservation instincts.
- There is definitely some good emotion going on with the Doctor’s conflict in having to reactivate Donna’s memories, and it’s extremely well acted, but for whatever reason I don’t feel as much weight here as I should. It’s not just that I’m too disconnected from their original run at this point, because I rewatched The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End as well as The End of Time in the lead-up to this airing and I was severely emotionally impacted like I’d been thrown back 10 years in time, so I have no idea why I just don’t feel as much as I wish I did. It’s definitely not about their acting. Maybe it’s just too quick? Because I feel like the pacing of this episode in general goes by so fast that there hasn’t been enough time to really drive home the drama of what remembering will do to her, or the full extent of their relationship. Everything just sort of happens. The conflict of having to choose to restore her memories is great but the actual regaining of those memories just feels… sudden? Unearned? I don’t know.
- Don’t know how to feel about Donna having straight up Winter Soldier trigger words to unlock her memories.
- I really feel like her getting her memories back should have been a much more emotional moment between the two of them. She has no reaction to suddenly having it all back — it’s just undercut with the humor of yelling about having given away all of her lottery money, and being mad at him that there was a subconscious part of her that had his influence that drove her to do that. Honestly, I believe Donna would do it anyway, you don’t need to make some explanation for his soft heart still sticking around in her head like she wouldn’t have done that on her own. After a decade of wishing Donna could one day have her memories restored, this isn’t what I wanted out of it.
- It’s better a minute later when she realizes she only has 55 seconds left before her brain fries but she’s okay with it because it’s the best 55 seconds of her life to now be fully herself again. It’s also sweet when the Doctor is holding her as she begins to fade away, even if it’s undercut a moment later by her suddenly waking again.
- I’m not sure why the metacrisis energy in her head would split off and have half go into Rose in the womb. I suppose you could come up with a way that makes it make sense but it’s pretty convenient.
- Doctor: “We are binary.”
Donna: “She’s not. Because the Doctor’s —”
Doctor: “Male.”
Donna: “And female.”
Rose: “And neither. And more.”
… Huh??? Are they trying to say that Rose is trans because the Doctor is capable of being either male or female and the metacrisis somehow passed this on?
- I like the quick moment between the Doctor and Sylvia. Didn’t know I wanted more of them.
- The Meep’s ominous allusion to “the boss” doesn’t seem to have been about the Toymaker, so… what gives? Not that that’s a bad thing that it wasn’t, I wasn’t sure what to think of him having people working for him anyway, but I’m curious if that thread will ever get picked up.
- Donna: “Yes, we know.”
Rose: “We know everything, thanks.”
Donna: “And you know nothing. It’s a shame you’re not a woman anymore. ‘Cause she’d have understood.”
Rose: “We’ve got all that power, but there is a way to get rid of it. Something a male-presenting Time Lord will never understand.”
Okay, first off, why the attitude with the Doctor? Geez. Second, Thirteen never let go of anything in her life lol, no she wouldn’t have understood. Third, did they not just say that the Doctor is ‘male and female and neither and more’? Now a few minutes later the Doctor is suddenly just a dumb man who could never understand because he doesn’t have a woman’s perspective? One minute we’re saying gender doesn’t matter because he’s both and none, the next we’re using the standard binary against him to act like the women are so much smarter than him? There’s no need to pick on him like that, and please, just pick one, you can’t have it both ways. Also, oh my word, ‘male-presenting Time Lord’? Russell, can I have a word with you about writing sentences that sound like they would actually come out of someone’s mouth?
- ^ Additionally, the solution to the metacrisis is to just… let go of it. They literally just choose to make the energy leave them. Easy as that. That feels so incredibly unearned and completely undermines the stakes involved. For 15 years Donna was at risk of having her head explode. Her ending was an absolute tragedy with very serious consequences. And now they just go, ‘Well, they can let go of the metacrisis though’. All of the drama of her circumstances feels horribly undermined by the easiness and convenience of that. I don’t think they should have fixed everything in just the first episode of this anyway, let alone that lazily.
- I am quite a fan of the new TARDIS interior. It’s a bit big, hopefully we’ll get some furniture in there over time or something, but it’s a very neat design. I’m very pleased to have the Classic white back, but that the lights can also change colors if they feel like adding a bit more mood or character to a scene. I’m also assuming that its wheelchair accessibility means we’ll get Shirley in there at some point, which I look forward to.
- Aw at the Doctor remembering how Donna takes her coffee.
- “I really do remember, though. Every second with you. I’m so glad you’re back, ‘cause it killed me, Donna. It killed me, it killed me, it killed me.” Aw 💗
- “I said so!” Poor Sylvia, lol.
- Watching this the first time under the assumption that the Toymaker was pulling strings throughout the first two specials, I really thought they ended up at the end of the universe because he hijacked the TARDIS, and the coffee was a coincidence. Nope. Turns out the TARDIS really just broke down that bad over one spilled cup of coffee. It really should be more resilient than that!
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OVERVIEW
I liked more than I realized, there is some good in here (Sylvia was the unexpected MVP), but for me the bad just outweighs it too much. The things I do like are generally small moments and the things I don’t are generally quite big ones, which is a problem. I’ve got a number of issues with the writing, and that’s just if the episode were standalone, let alone the fact that this is supposed to be for a big anniversary. In the context of the entirety of the specials it’s got even more problems. This doesn’t feel like it’s celebrating anything, except perhaps the original comic which is nice at least, but apart from that, it’s just… an episode. A poorer one at that, imo. The pacing is rushed and the writing is often either forced or lazy or both. It doesn’t have anything to do with the next two specials and it doesn’t set up anything that it should. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected that it would, but I find it bizarre that it doesn’t.
I really wanted to like this and I went into it expecting that I would, but even beyond the writing problems, I just couldn’t connect. I don’t know if it’s the pacing or what but I don’t feel nearly as much as I want to and feel I should. Ten and Donna are being very much themselves and they’ve got stuff here that should make me emotional, and to a degree it does, but… something is just off. I don’t feel the weight of it, and that’s a recurring problem throughout all of these specials. For whatever reason the episodes just don’t emotionally resonate with me for the most part, even if I’m pleased to be watching Ten and Donna and should therefore be more excited about it and care more about the fact that they’re back on my screen. I really, really want to care more about seeing them again. I do care, but it’s just… off. The rushed resolution to Donna’s problem doesn’t help, either. I don’t feel the emotional payoff. Part of me feels like if they were going to undermine the impact of Journey’s End by solving everything with such ease and casualness, then maybe they shouldn’t have done this at all. And I love Donna, I do, I’ve always wanted her to remember eventually, but I really feel there needed to be more to it than this. This doesn’t feel earned. I’ve got little to no emotional catharsis out of it. I would wonder if it was just a me problem if not for the fact that my sister came away from it feeling the same. Tales of the TARDIS handled this better for Jamie and Zoe in just 5 minutes — they didn’t have stakes for remembering like Donna did, it was just a cruel thing done to them, so it doesn’t feel like it’s undercutting anything to have their memories restored just as easily as they were taken, and there’s a whole ton of emotion packed into that 5 minutes that feels real, earned, and gets to me every time I’ve watched it. Why I don’t feel the same about Donna is beyond me.
I’m really struggling to understand why after just this first episode so many people were rejoicing that RTD has saved the show. Granted, I didn’t hate the Chibnall era, just select parts of it in the same way that I would have problems here and there with RTD and Moffat, so I’m not coming from a place of having felt like the show I loved was dead, but I really don’t see how The Star Beast is any better than most given episodes of the preceding era. I didn’t feel some magical shift. If anything, I liked most Chibnall era episodes more than this. I don’t know what everyone is talking about.
Thankfully the next special is a vast improvement imo.
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WILD BLUE YONDER
- The opening with Isaac Newton just feels completely unnecessary to me. I feel like Russell just wanted to make a joke about changing the word “gravity” to “mavity” and decided to create that opening scene. I believe I also saw that the actor is a friend of his so this also could have spawned from him trying to create a bit part for him. Whatever the origin is, I’m not a fan of it. I really hope the mavity joke doesn’t continue past these specials, because I find it very annoying for reasons I can’t even quite place. Just gets on my nerves. And let’s forget the fact that the word gravity existed before Isaac Newton anyway.
- The TARDIS blaring the military song at the beginning and later near the end is another thing I would have sworn was the Toymaker having a laugh. Nope. No clue why it’s doing that, then. They do say something about the TARDIS playing them a war song, I guess they mean to imply it was some kind of warning of what they were getting into? But it kind of just happens. I feel like RTD keeps doing things without explanation just for fun. And there’s definitely a time and place for that, but in these specials it keeps being stuff that really should have elaboration and then they just don’t.
- I really like the massive spaceship and its design. Feels like something my brain would make up as I’m listening to a Big Finish story. The moving pieces are awesome as well.
- This is just me being someone who primarily prefers the Classic series a lot of the time, but I’m kind of done with New Who making a point of people’s attractiveness. I don’t need commentary on how hot the characters think anyone they’ve run into is, let alone a historical figure. New Who has a strange obsession with sexualization. RTD and Moffat are the worst offenders with this. Can’t call to mind times where that happened in the Chibnall era but I could be missing something. In any case I really want them to grow up a bit.
- Hey, that’s the first reference to the Doctor snapping his fingers to control the TARDIS in who even knows how long! Not that I was even a fan of that concept but it’s interesting to hear about it again.
- I like that Ten quickly stops himself from placing any blame on Donna and apologizes.
- The Doctor kissing her hand and holding it to his chest when she starts panicking is very sweet. 💗
- Woohoo, bringing back the HADS! Troughton fans unite!
- I love the robot. That is a great robot.
- I totally thought that the void outside was the Toymaker’s realm. That’s what I get for listening to Solitaire I guess.
- ^ I was also waiting for the glass that the Doctor was pressing against to completely disappear and he would fall into the Toymaker’s realm. Would make a good fic though.
- With all of the shots of Ten and Donna being watched from behind I kept expecting the forms of old companions like Susan or Steven to show up to mess with the Doctor. Never mind.
- I knew he was going to lick the strange gooey substance. Same old Ten.
- Poor Donna wondering what her family would do if she never returned.
- I thought it was abrupt that the Doctor had finished his job and already come back to Donna, but the moment where we cut back to the Doctor fiddling around immediately made it click that Donna was NOT talking to the real one, which is terrifyingly creepy.
- ^ I assumed at first that the Toymaker was faking being the Doctor to get information out of Donna. Then when the fake Donna turned up I thought they were both just his puppets he’d sent. Even when it was revealed what they really were I still imagined the Toymaker had something to do with sending them after them. Still jarred that these first two specials had absolutely no set-up for the big bad they were teasing in promotions for ages. But this particular instance is still very good without having anything to do with him. The Not-Things are chillingly creepy and I was constantly on edge.
- I like how Donna has absolutely no reaction to, “My arms are too long,” as if the Doctor would just say that lol.
- The long arms are so freakish in the best kind of freakish way.
- I seriously thought for a minute that they were turning into giant marionettes. There’s a bit of music during the reveal that sounded a bit circus-y for a moment as well. I could not stop seeing the Toymaker around every corner lol.
- David and Catherine kill it as the Not-Things. It’s fascinating to see them play against themselves in such a dark way.
- The way they look when they’re growing enormous and are appearing more and more freakish really feels like something my brain would concoct while listening to Big Finish if they did a story like this.
- I really enjoy the darkness going on here generally. They didn’t shy away from being absolutely twisted and terrifying and disturbing. It’s good to have a bit of that sometimes.
- This is seriously David and Catherine at some of their best. This special has the best stuff for the Doctor and Donna as a duo and their relationship, as well as having to play everything twice. They’re so good at making the Not-Things convincing that I was genuinely having a hard time figuring out which ones were real for a while.
- I hate the Timeless Child lore but it’s used here to good effect. Same with the Flux. I actually quite enjoyed the Flux arc but the fact that it did permanently wipe out half the universe without getting reversed or fixed and we just don’t talk about it is ridiculous. While I wish they would fix the situation, similarly to the Timeless Child it’s used well here.
- That contorted crab walk thing is incredibly disturbing even if it does look stupid lol.
- Really, how can they use a line like, “To play your vicious games and win,” and not have me think the Toymaker was involved somewhere in here?
- The Doctor not being able to stop thinking is very relatable lol. I would fail so badly in this scenario.
- I really like the design of the old captain of the ship. I’d love to see what that species looks like when they’re not just skeletal remains. Unless they actually do just look like bone anyway like Thestrals, in which case that would be even cooler.
- Everything about the climax is very well-executed. The drama, the pacing, the stakes. Very strong stuff.
- Poor Donna being left behind. But do you know what I was expecting? Naturally, for the Toymaker to pluck her out before the ship exploded so that he could keep her alive to force to play games. These specials did not go anything like I expected lol.
- Sweet Ten and Donna just sitting there reeling for a minute.
- Not sure what invoking a superstition at the edge of the universe is supposed to do with the return of the Toymaker in the next ep. He says it’s because the walls of reality are thin and all things are possible, but that doesn’t mean that pouring some salt on the ground magically has something to do with him specifically. Feels like a very weird reason to give when the logical thing to do would just be to say that the Toymaker has been plotting to get him back for a long time and finally showed up now.
- Wilf broke me. This was the one thing in any of these specials to get me truly, legitimately emotional. Shed a tear over him and his sweet face. It’s a shame they weren’t able to film any more scenes with him but I’m so glad they got that one in.
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OVERVIEW
By far the best of the specials. I quite enjoyed the sheer darkness and madness of this one, and David and Catherine absolutely knock it out of the park. The writing is largely very good and it’s very effective in its scare factor, as well as in showcasing the relationship between the Doctor and Donna. This is the best stuff they have in any of these specials and I felt a little more connected to them here than in the other two. That doesn’t say as much as I’d like it to, but I’ll take it.
It stands up very well on its own, which in one way is great and the mark of a wonderful episode, but in another way also speaks to one of my overall problems with these episodes which is that they’re not connected to each other. This is a fantastic story and extremely well done, but once again it doesn’t feel like it’s celebrating anything and I truly don’t understand why these specials weren’t written to be a lot more connected than they are. At the end of the day it’s just a collection of random episodes that fill a gap before Ncuti takes the reins. That said, I’m not complaining about this one, this really was very interesting. Definitely the standout episode out of the three.
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THE GIGGLE
- Getting this out of the way right from the start lest I comment on it during every scene of his: NPH steals the show. He acts his heart out here. On the one hand it’s a very different approach to and portrayal of the Toymaker, which would otherwise bother me, but I can buy it as a Toymaker who has had centuries and centuries since the original serial to grow madder and madder and madder (and though he doesn’t regenerate like a Time Lord, I’d still be willing to believe that pieces of his personality might shift with different faces). On the other hand, there is still very much an element of Michael Gough in his darker, more intense moments. Glints that you can see in his eyes and his wicked grin. Very different but very the same. I really wish more of the episode had focused on him, and even further that he had been involved in all three of these specials.
- I appreciate the different accents he puts on throughout, as it proves me right that he just copies things from all manner of cultures he has no connection to. Vindication.
- Genuinely creepy in the opening scene the way he talks about the doll family as if buying the one doll would be separating it from its family and make them sad. You get the impression he’s not kidding. Even creepier when he says the hair on the doll was from a woman who won’t be missing it and won’t miss anything ever again. This one scene sets up right from the off that he is deeply unsettling and has done truly horrifying things to the victims of his games.
- I keep looking for Easter eggs in the toy shop and keep finding nothing lol. Wasted opportunity to have a Trilogic game or something hidden in the background.
- There’s some very dark music that plays frequently which seems to be the Toymaker’s theme. I really like it.
- Very unsettling that the Doctor’s first interaction with the Toymaker is unbeknownst to him. I like that he just stays in the background for a minute before messing with him while he still doesn’t know it’s him.
- I don’t like that the new UNIT building is essentially Stark Tower. That’s much too ostentatious for an organization that’s supposed to keep a low profile. Their building in The Power of the Doctor was already way too big. I don’t know why they seem to have gone very public now.
- I like that Kate is so scared by all of this that the first thing she does is to just grab the Doctor in a hug. Also, nice shoutout to Kate having fought Yetis.
- Mel! 💗 It's so nice to have her here. I haven't seen her Classic stuff yet but I've always adored her from afar, she's so precious. I'm always here for bringing back old friends as long as it's done well. The Doctor's reaction to her is so sweet.
- Sorry to disappoint, Mel, but you’re not the first redhead lol.
- Cool little robot guy. I'd ask why they have him working for them but they also had an alien as their scientific advisor for years, so whatever.
- Very interesting to demonstrate what happens to people's minds by turning Kate's protective armband off. Her tirade over nothing is both funny and frightening.
- The return of newscaster Trinity Wells! Nice to see you, girl. Though I have no idea how UNIT not only created but has already been trying to mass produce and give to the world these Zeedex bands within 2 days for this to even be on the news. Apparently they were an invention of the robotic character the Vlinx but that’s still a bit fast lol.
- I like that Donna was able to figure out the music scale from a perfectly ordinary experience. And lol at having Bonnie Langford sing the arpeggio.
- Considering the implication that having traveled in the TARDIS prevents the effects of this on an individual, I now want fic of every companion who's living in modern day Earth reacting to all of their neighbors and family suddenly losing their crap. Ian and Barbara watching their friends pick loud fights in the streets, Jo seeing every member of her family go mad. Not to mention the characters who either never set foot in the TARDIS at all or not long enough for it to protect them. Poor Liz Shaw somewhere, and Benton and Yates. All of the SJA kids except for Sky since she's an alien, and she'd have to deal with all of them being terrible.
- I like that they have Mel doing some technical stuff since she was supposed to be a computer programmer.
- Glad they gave a reason for why and how Mel is back on Earth lol. Nice shoutout to Glitz while they were at it as well.
- Kate really seems to like offering everybody a job lol.
- Subtle bit of creepiness to the Toymaker that no matter how many of his juggling balls he throws, he's still juggling the same amount of balls.
- I'm glad they had him already know Donna's name. I imagined he would have to but you never know what writers are gonna do. I'm also very pleased that it's immediately acknowledged that the Toymaker is an extreme threat by having the Doctor tell Donna to go back to the TARDIS the second he's realized who it is.
- Heck yes to the brief Hartnell and Gough flashes! It's not only lovely to see them in general but I love the weight that it adds, that they know each other from so long ago, and that those people are still who they both are inside the different faces. You can see Michael Gough's eyes in NPH right here in particular and for a moment I feel I can even see Bill's eyes in David.
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- Shoutout to the hidden Joeys in a couple of different places. They're not nearly as visible in the episode as the set pics made it seem but I know he's there.
- Love that he means Hartnell when he says, “When I was young.”
- I like the unnervingness of the endless hallway and all of the doors just leading you nowhere. I can imagine that kind of a trick in the original serial. (In fact I now really want to see that be something they'd have to deal with. I can just hear Steven's huffy, 'Oh, no,' when they realize they're never getting anywhere lol.) The two of them ending up separated is also good stuff.
- I still don't see what invoking a superstition at the edge of the universe has to do with bringing the Toymaker in. It's a really weird and nonsensical reason to give when the only reason you need is that he's finally coming for his rematch.
- Very creepy stuff with the poor man being made into a marionette, as well as the Doctor seeing himself as one. That’s the kind of disturbing factor I was hoping for with this special. There isn't a ton of this kind of thing here and I'd have gone quite a bit darker myself for this whole episode but I appreciate what we have.
- The Toymaker looming above, looking down as he holds the puppet strings is some really good imagery.
- Donna vs the rest of the doll family is very freakish, but I also feel bad for them because there's no way those weren't real people at one point. Particularly disturbing to have Donna rip Sue's head off and kick it across the room, considering. I know she doesn’t know these were people, and even if she did she does have to protect herself somehow, but yikes.
- I love the painted stage backdrops in the middle of absolute black nothingness. I was hoping they'd have this sort of thing, since much of the original is in this sort of broad, void-feeling space.
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- I really like this bit where the Toymaker is showing what happened to the previous companions that have been on the show since Donna left. Very chilling to see him be well aware of all of the particulars of these events and I’m glad they went for it in torturing the Doctor with personal pain. It wasn’t as much or as dark as I’d hoped but I like it, and I always like seeing a Doctor acknowledge companions he was with when he had different faces. Very nice to see Ten’s face talk about Amy, Clara, and Bill. Also, nice recap for those who may have stopped after Tennant originally left, and wow, the Moffat era really had a ton of tragic departures. I keep thinking what must have been going through Neil’s head reading about a character who was killed by a bird, and the various insane-sounding reasons from the Doctor as to why these characters are somehow okay despite what happened to them, considering he apparently didn’t know about Doctor Who whatsoever prior to being approached for the role!
- Oh, the shift in the Toymaker’s face when the Doctor challenges him to a game. Stuff just got real.
- It’s so good to see them playing at a table again.
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- “I made a jigsaw out of your history. Did you like it?” Not sure what that means unless they’re trying to indicate that he’s somehow responsible for the Timeless Child mythos, or at least for various inconsistencies in the Doctor’s life. I doubt they’d hand-wave away the whole TC arc like that when Russell said he wouldn’t undermine his friend’s work, so I don’t know what to make of this. But if we can ignore that from here on out then that rocks.
- Poor Master, lol. I can only imagine bedraggled and broken Dhawan being offered a chance to live if he played a game, taking the offer, and promptly losing. I want to know how that went down. Apparently very badly, if the price was being trapped inside the Toymaker’s gold tooth. Also, is he aware of what’s going on or is he just sort of in stasis in there? It would be awful for him if he were conscious of everything, but awful results are how the Toymaker operates, so I wouldn’t be surprised. Imagine the Master trying and failing to scream to the Doctor to do whatever he has to to get away.
- Okay, who on earth is this person the Toymaker supposedly didn’t dare play? They’re claiming that he played and defeated God but there’s somehow someone even more powerful that the Toymaker of all people is scared of? “The one who waits”? Jokingly headcanon-ing that it’s Rory until we get anything further on that, lol.
- I mean, the Toymaker ain’t wrong about the issues of the human race in the 21st century 🤷‍♀️ VERY weird to hear him say the word ‘cancel’ though. That originated here on tumblr to my knowledge. Things like that have gotta stop breaking containment, now they’re spreading so far that a character from 1966 is saying them.
- Love the Toymaker’s aghast reaction to Donna saying he’ll just cheat. Though they make it sound like he’s forced to always play by the rules by some sort of cosmic force that binds him. In the original you get the impression that it’s just a matter of principle to him, which I prefer.
- I like that the king on the playing card looks like it could either be Michael Gough or NPH, or perhaps a blurred line between them to represent both.
- Part of me feels like the dancing scene is a bit too far in terms of silliness for circumstances that should be very serious, but it’s also too enjoyable for me to not get a kick out of. They also managed to make it quite dark and threatening, having him appear all over the place, forcing Kate and then Mel to dance, turning the two UNIT men into bouncing balls that still retain the images of their screaming faces and the Doctor telling Kate that they’re dead, and making all of the bullets turn into rose petals therefore showing them all that they’re helpless against him. For something that should come across as ridiculous, it’s actually surprisingly effective. Though I don’t know what it is with RTD and having his big bads dance to girl group songs lol.
- When Kate asks where the guards and staff have gone and the Toymaker just goes, “I think they’re still falling.” Eek.
- Ten really has a thing for offering bad guys to travel with him instead of wreaking havoc lol. But I love that they had him say that the two of them together could be ‘celestial’. Thank you for the little reference and for proving me right again that that’s the context in which we’re supposed to take his title. Also, interesting little moment there where the Toymaker very nearly almost seemed tempted.
- This scene is very quickly ruined, but I like Donna and Mel going to the Doctor’s side to be with him as he regenerates. Very sweet to see two past companions who still love him very much and are willing to put themselves in the line of fire just to make sure he’s not alone. And when the Toymaker comments, “Handmaidens,” it reminds me of the original serial when he comments on Steven’s “adolescent expressions of loyalty”.
- Nice detail that Mel seems a lot more prepared and okay with the realities of regeneration, just comforting him with a smile and not seeming terribly worried whether he’s going to be okay because she knows he will be, she’s seen him in the aftermath of a regeneration before and loved both Doctors she was with. Of course she and Donna are both emotional, but Mel definitely strikes me as more ready to deal with what comes next.
- I’m really mad that this moment is all about to get undermined, because having Ten 2.0’s last words be, “Allons-y,” aka, ‘let’s go’, is incredibly fitting and poignant in contrast to the original, “I don’t want to go.” Why’d they have to go and ruin what could have been a nice, touching regeneration?
- Aaaand here’s the moment that ruins the entire rest of the story for me. Rather than regenerating like normal, the Doctor “bigenerates”, splitting into two of himself so we have both Tennant and Gatwa together. It’s hand-waved with, ‘oh there’s this thing called bigeneration that’s supposed to be a myth but apparently not!’ and then not discussed any further. Russell, you just got back, did you seriously have to already bring a massively disruptive lore change with you? We just had one. I seem to be in the minority, at least on tumblr, but I am not on board with having two Doctors existing simultaneously. It feels more like the Doctor split off a twin. You can’t copy a soul and have two of that soul at the same time. That is not how people work. I keep having to focus on Mel being adorable in the background because the rest of this is aggravating.
- I feel it robs Ncuti of a proper entrance as well. He doesn’t get the same process that every Doctor before him since Troughton has gotten. He’s relegated to splitting off of the fan favorite rather than taking his place as is kinda his right, which could also easily cause people to forever view him as an offshoot and not the proper Doctor. Not to mention the fact that their split also divided articles of clothing between the two of them, meaning Fifteen is left running around in underwear for the entire remainder of the episode. A lot of people seem fine with this but I really think it’s an undignified entrance for the poor guy, and I’m not sure it’s going to age very well either. It would be humiliating enough for any Doctor to start out that way but I can already see people in the future looking back on it as a very degrading introduction for the first black Doctor. My mind also often goes to considering whether certain things would come across the same if it were a woman, and boy, that would not be received well if the new Doctor were a woman having to run around in her underwear as an intro, which means it isn’t really great for a man either.
- I wish I could enjoy the two Doctors excitedly interacting, but that’s the kind of thing that’s only fun or interesting in the usual context of multiple incarnations meeting up from different time periods. This stuff would otherwise be cute, but in the context it’s in, I’m just too uncomfortable to enjoy any of it.
- “Do you come in a range of colors?” is another line that I’m not sure is gonna age well. I’m not sure I like the sound of it now as it is.
- The Toymaker claims he played against the “guardians of time and space” and shrunk them into voodoo dolls. Are we talking Fifth Doctor era Guardians? Poor guys.
- Part of me feels the “ball game” final fight is cool looking (or at least, it’s well-shot to distract me from the fact that it’s not that good; I can’t decide), but the ultimate result is disappointing. It’s pretty unsatisfying to have the Toymaker’s defeat be that he happened to not catch a ball. It makes him look unskilled to just have it graze past his hand when he easily could have stretched slightly further and gotten it. I know people say that his original defeat in the old serial was anticlimactic, but he was defeated because the Doctor was clever. It wasn’t that the Toymaker did anything that would lead to his own loss, it’s not that he wasn’t as clever, it’s just that the Doctor had a good idea and succeeded with it. It was very evenly matched, but somebody has to win even in a very tight game and it was the Doctor. Here, the Toymaker loses because he was unlucky. It wasn’t a victory on the Doctor’s part, the Toymaker just messed up. That doesn’t feel like a satisfying defeat at all because it’s not even a defeat. Everything hinges on the Toymaker somehow not catching a ball.
- Don’t know if that’s the last we’ll see of the Toymaker. It may be the last of NPH playing him at least. I wouldn’t be shocked if they brought the character back for another round some decades down the line, just get him out of the box and dust him off on the rare occasion.
- He says his “legions” are coming, and I believe RTD has said that Fifteen is going to keep facing them. Curious who those will be. I don’t exactly see the Toymaker having armies in reserve somewhere.
- Good for the poor man that he gets to not be a marionette anymore!
- Fifteen: “You can’t save everyone.”
Ten: “Why not?”
Because you go Time Lord Victorious when you start asking that question. Have a Snickers.
- Again, I wish I could enjoy the two Doctors. Fifteen comforting Ten should be a very sweet thing, but this whole thing just feels so wrong to me.
- Well, cue endless speculation on whose hand picked up that gold tooth with the Master in it. That should keep the fandom going for a while.
- ^ Also, ahhh, the various Master laughs when it focuses in on that! I think I hear my beloved Delgado!
- I greatly appreciate all of the Classic references when they’re talking about all of the things they’ve gone through and never stopped to rest after, and all of the people lost.
- Fifteen: “Sarah Jane has gone, can you even believe that for a second?”
Ten: “I loved her.”
Fifteen: “I loved her.”
Owww, official confirmation in TV canon that Sarah Jane is gone by now. I’d appreciated that they had never explicitly said anything like they did with the Brigadier. I loved her, too. 😢
- ^ Also mentioning loving Rose, ahhh. The Doctor has never actually said those words to or about her because he was always an idiot thinking it didn’t need to be said. Finally, a Doctor says onscreen that he loved Rose! 2012 me is pleased.
- Mavic Chen! RTD said he’d be mentioned at some point, but still, there’s a deep cut of a reference! Heck yeah, Hartnell enthusiasts rise.
- “I’m fine because you fix yourself. We’re Time Lords, we’re doing rehab out of order.” Okay, this particular line would seem to imply that at some point when Ten 2.0 eventually regenerates, it will be to Fifteen? That he’s thrown back into the timeline and bigenerates out of himself as Fifteen, thus meaning there’s still just the one Doctor and the timeline aligns itself? Nothing else in this episode indicates that whatsoever, but if that’s what I’m meant to take out of it then it would fix a lot.
- So… they’re seriously saying that he became Ten again for the emotional catharsis of sitting back and living with Donna’s family for a while. Messing up regeneration lore to enable past lives to come back, ignoring that the point of regeneration since its inception is to move forwards, for what is essentially RTD’s fix-it AU fic for his own characters. This continues to feel like it’s RTD’s celebration of his own stuff rather than an overall 60th anniversary celebration. I really want to be happier about having my Ten back, and that Donna gets to remember everything, but so much of the way this has been done leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.
- Aaand oh boy. Here’s the bit where they duplicate the TARDIS. For the sake of argument, say that Fifteen really did come after Ten 2.0 living his life with the Nobles and he’s just thrown backwards in the timeline. If that’s supposed to be the same with the TARDIS, that he’s just bringing it into this time somehow from where it last was with Ten 2.0 prior to his regeneration, then that would be fine. But there is absolutely nothing that indicates this. The takeaway I get is that the TARDIS has been copied. Tennant is going to stay at the Nobles’ and have the original TARDIS on hand so he can still leave sometimes. Gatwa takes off in the copied TARDIS. The Doctor that we’re supposed to be following from here on out is no longer traveling in the very same TARDIS as he always has. If that’s seriously the case, then that’s a GIGANTIC heck no from me. Absolutely not.
- Oh, how I wish I could more properly enjoy this final scene of Ten with the Nobles. On paper it’s absolutely adorable. If they confirm that Fifteen is the regeneration after and not an awkward offshoot, then retroactively I could enjoy this a lot more, but until that potentially happens, I’m still uncomfortable with the two separate Doctors at the same time and therefore uncomfortable with the context of him being here because there was a second Doctor who can keep going instead.
- Would have sworn that the Doctor’s eyebrow story was going to be about Delphon but then he says another name. Oh well.
- I do really like that Mel gets to join in on the Noble family gatherings. Lovely to keep her until the end and that she gets to have sort of a family. “Mad Aunty Mel” 💗
- ^ Also sweet that the Doctor took her to New York in the Gilded Age for a nice little trip at some point in the time skip before this. Mel deserves nice things.
- Why are we saying that Wilf is shooting the moles in the garden? Unless there’s something I’m forgetting where he’s done something like that before, I don’t feel like Wilf would hurt a fly let alone moles. With how hard it was for him to take out his gun after so many years in The End of Time I’m not sure I buy him being okay with shooting anything. Weird note to end on for him.
- Having the Doctor spend most of his time living with the Nobles and resting presents a bit of a Steve-stays-in-the-past-in-Endgame problem in that there’s no way he wouldn’t always be trying to right wrongs around him. Just like Steve would have to ignore every horrible thing he could do something about, including rescuing Bucky who is being tortured out there, any time this Doctor isn’t there when something is going terribly wrong nearby, it means he’s ignoring it while he lounges. That doesn’t sound like him at all.
- And off Fifteen goes, getting ready to go into the Christmas special. I’m worried about it but hopefully it’s better than I think it will be…?
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OVERVIEW
Oh, massive mixed bag.
I really like the Toymaker parts of the episode. He wasn’t in nearly as much of it as he should have been and his downfall is disappointing, but the overall writing for him and performance by NPH was fantastic. There’s some very good dark and twisted stuff in here and I’m glad they went for it, even if I would have done even more with it. He is far and away the main highlight of the episode and much of my enjoyment of it is down to him. Mel also plays a considerable role in that, just because I’m thrilled any time an old companion turns up, but I also felt more connected to her, whose stories I haven’t even seen yet, than Ten or Donna somehow. Honorable mention to Kate and Shirley who were also great.
As has been true of all of these, I still just can’t fully emotionally connect with Ten and Donna. I desperately wanted to, and there’s a part of me that did in a way, but nowhere near how it should have been. I feel like I’m insane because on paper there’s nothing even wrong with them and it sure as heck ain’t the performances. But going from a few of their episodes in series 4 in the lead-up and feeling all sorts of strong emotions, that somehow just didn’t carry over to this and I don’t get why. Pacing? Trapped in the poor writing around them? I seriously can’t figure this out, but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to at all. Something is wrong and I don’t know what the heck it is.
And there’s the matter of Ten coming back because apparently that specific incarnation needed a happy ending. I really feel the need to emphasize that I LOVE TEN, but being nostalgic and sentimental isn’t a good enough reason to mess with the regeneration cycle and skip backwards a few lives. Literally the reason they give is that this particular face needed rest (they do say that the Doctor needs rest generally, but they didn’t have to go back to this face to do that — Donna indicates that this face came back so that he could ‘come home’ and be happy.) It feels way too much like favoritism to single this incarnation out in such a big way, and honestly? Ten needed to go when he did. He was becoming someone he wasn’t and it was his time. Of all of the Doctors, his was the one that actually really needed to regenerate, for the sake of his own soul. It was certainly distressing but it was a solid end for him. I don’t feel he needs this do-over to go back and get a happy ending. No one Doctor deserves that over another (though if they did, it would be poor Two whose life was cut short by execution courtesy of his own kind.) I love Ten so dearly but it feels wrong to act like he’s so important that he specifically has earned any of this treatment. I’m beginning to appreciate Tom Baker’s approach of not making multiple comebacks precisely because of his popularity.
For a good chunk of this ep, the writing was pretty good, especially where the Toymaker himself was concerned. But once the bigeneration happened, it was so downhill that it makes me struggle to want to rewatch this even for the good parts. I’m really, really hoping that I’m right and Fifteen is meant to come after Ten 2.0 has already had his lifetime, ditto his TARDIS, because it would largely save this episode for me and because the alternative is completely appalling and I can’t be okay with it. To make matters worse, Russell has claimed that he believes the bigeneration echoed back into all previous regenerations and causing each Doctor to split off from the last so they all get to go on with their own life, that they’re ALL out there in some kind of “Doctorverse”, which is absolutely insane. It defeats the purpose of regeneration: “Times change and so must I,” and, “Life defends on change and renewal.” This completely flies in the face of a critical aspect of the show, that one has to move on eventually. There’s a time for each of these incarnations, but they can’t last forever. It weakens all of these deaths, a good number of which were sacrifices, to claim that they all actually get to live on, and the very idea of it also supports my fear that there’s seriously just supposed to be two Doctors now and we’re supposed to be okay with that. According to Russell there’s a whole ton of Doctors existing simultaneously and that’s supposed to be okay. It’s the definition of bonkers is what it is. I really feel the opposite of all of the ‘RTD saved the show!’ sentiments; it feels like he’s gotten too big for his britches and has returned with a bizarre god complex where he’s wielding way too much power and plans to use all of it however he wishes. He’s single-handedly making me nervous for this entire next era.
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BIG PICTURE
Though there are definitely things I liked, particularly the Toymaker and Wild Blue Yonder, there was far too much that I don’t feel good about for me to be able to say I really loved these specials. I probably won’t reblog much of it beyond what I already have and I’m not particularly motivated to rewatch these except in a full-scale series rewatch because I’m not the sort of person who can let myself skip stuff.
I really feel like these should have been either Jodie’s or Ncuti’s. Ten didn’t need to be here, much as I love him. It could have either been a very dramatic ending for Thirteen (though I enjoyed The Power of the Doctor for that) or a very interesting beginning for Fifteen. It would be interesting to see a brand new Doctor have to navigate such intense stuff. And if it had been Thirteen, I honestly feel I may have emotionally connected better because she’s who we’ve been with.
In my perfect world, these would have all had to do with the Toymaker. Have him be woven throughout the first episode (and give that first ep a very different plot than what we got) and then a cliffhanger that reveals him as having been behind it all, leading into two full episodes of fighting against his power. Either keep Wild Blue Yonder, because it’s pretty darn good, and just have it so that my initial thoughts regarding involvement from the Toymaker were correct, or alter it entirely and focus on really delving into who he is and how much danger they’re in. Make them play deadly games. Get some incredibly dark and disturbing visuals and emotional torture in there; show past companions as puppets and dolls (whether it’s really them or not), have them come to life and taunt the Doctor if they’re fake or hauntingly beg him to save them if they’re real, make him face choosing between saving Donna vs other friends, really dig in as deeply and darkly as is possible without permanent consequences like death. Make episode 3 a long battle of wits with lots of intimate time between the Doctor and the Toymaker, with extremely severe personal stakes. Go all out. If you’re going to use the Toymaker again you really should be taking advantage of just how far you can go with a character like this, and the dynamic between him and the Doctor. Give NPH a boatload of screen time and a big, twisted sandbox to play in. Loads of emotionally, mentally, conceptually, and visually dark and disturbing things. They had some very good stuff but there should have been more of it, and even more unsettling, or at least on par with the marionette man and the soldiers turned to balls. If we keep Tennant for this, make the regaining of his face a plot point that was influenced by the Toymaker, something to torture him because Ten was one of the most emotionally volatile and damaged. When regenerating into Fifteen, let it be a normal regeneration, preferably caused by the Doctor needing to sacrifice himself to defeat the Toymaker because he can’t get away like he did before — this time, he really does have to face going down with the Toymaker to succeed. Keep Donna because she’s a prime resource for hitting Ten where it hurts, but have their reunion be orchestrated and the regaining of her memories be more complicated. It shouldn’t be as easy as it was. Have ample time to give full acknowledgment to the stakes involved. If she regains them in the first episode and it feels too easy, make it so that the Toymaker has only made it seem that way, but she’s in serious trouble the longer she goes on with her memory intact. Either tragically make her forget again in the end to save her life and to not completely undo Journey’s End, or make it far more complicated to ensure that she can safely retain the memories. It should only be in the final episode when they’ve fought for it and come out victorious that they can confirm that she’s safe and is able to go on this way. Definitely keep Mel somewhere in here, as well as having other old friends appear in some way or another. In the VERY least, just reference Steven and Dodo, because they didn’t, dang it all, and I ask for so little.
There’s so much that I wish these specials had done, that I wish they’d been. And largely, they just didn’t. For all the good that there was, there was a heck of a lot that ultimately makes it fail as a collective whole, at least for me. I had to put on a Classic story as a palate cleanser after going through all of that again.
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adobe-outdesign · 1 year
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Thoughts on the Meltan line?
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Meltan was slightly controversial upon its release, due to initially only being available via PoGO. While I don't like having Pokemon tied to an app, its debut is ultimately inconsequential relative to its actual design, which is what we'll be focusing on.
Meltan is really a super simple design when you boil it down—an amorphous puddle of liquid metal (probably gallium, though mercury is also a possibility) with a hex nut for a head. My favorite part of it is the singular eye, which achieves a cycloptic effect and floats independently of the nut and the rest of the body. If the anime is to be believed, it can also be removed from the rest of the body without consequence.
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The only thing I really dislike about the design is the "tail". First, it doesn't have much to do with the metal theme at all—it appears to be an electrical wire, which is bizarre as Meltan's not an electric-type. And secondly, it's a weird bright red that draws attention to a pointless aspect of the design, and throws the otherwise simple gold-and-silver palette. Everything else, however, is solid.
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Melmetal keeps all of the things that made Meltan stand out, such as the liquid body, the gold accents, and the hex nuts. The difference is the way these elements are used—the head is now made of two hex nuts, the body is now a completely different shape and has a more "muscular" feel to it, and there's some grey hex nuts in there as well. This makes the two feel cohesive but also distinct in their own rights.
Visually, all of these elements are pretty well balanced; the large hex nuts on the arms draw attention to their size and strength, while the gold color on the head draws attention to the "face" (or, in this case, just an eye). I do wish the arms didn't have the middle hex nuts as those start to make it feel a smidge too busy, and unfortunately it keeps the wire-tail from Meltan, which is even more pointless and out-of-place here; however, everything else is quite nice.
Also, side note, I think this piece of lore for it is particularly neat:
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The g-max suffers from the common g-max problem of not really having any kind of concept in mind other than "big", with a weird, less-effective design to go with it. The idea of the liquid body is played around with some exaggerated shapes that are kind of fun, but nothing else here really stands out. The extra liquid around the head only serves to clutter the area and make it harder to read, while the overly thin torso and huge arms make it look really to fall apart and/or topple over any second. Honestly, it's nothing more than just a worse Melmetal.
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Anyway, as a whole, this line is good. The liquid metal aspect is fun and the faces are more abstract in a way that really stands out. Meltan is simple and cute, while Melmetal feels like a logical progression to it. The only downside is the g-max, which is lackluster at best, but g-maxes also aren't around anymore so that's really not a big issue. Overall, solid.
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sailorgundam308 · 5 months
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BG3 introspection bit
This one isn't edgy or funny. I just feel like sharing, prompted by seeing how, indeed, BG3 is one of the greatest if not THE greatest pieces of entertainment we've got in a long while. But I know for so many people it turned out to be much more than just that. That includes me. To make a long story short, I've been living a full world away from my loved ones for almost a decade, in a place that is particularly hostile towards me. I'm here out of necessity and choice, since my other option happens to be worse. It's been shockingly lonely, until I grew used to the isolation. Still, I made do. I make do. Around a few years back, and especially last year, things took a turn for the much worse. I've spiraled into a very, very dark place, which in turn isolated me even more from other people - but also from myself.
Being so far away from familiarity and the things I love worn me down, and disconnected from who I am and what I enjoy. To the point I effectively stayed in a limbo, frozen in time, empty, for the past years. It's been way more scary than when I was obviously and loudly sad or depressed, because at least then I had energy to react in some way. As an artist by profession and by passion, it was even more concerning that I could not create ANYTHING - words, images, even concepts. My mind had been simply silent, dead. I quite literally spent the last 3-4 years just existing, going to my job like a mindless clockwork because otherwise I wouldn't be able to make rent and end up getting deported. I knew I was utterly and completely lost, and had no idea what I could grab onto to pull me out. It was as if I couldn't move - I did not really wanted to, somehow.
It happens to everyone, I think, that sometimes a seemingly random thing that you engage with unexpectedly becomes a sort of lifeline. It happened to me once before, during a complicated part of my teens. And now it seemed to have happened again because I decided to play Baldur's Gate 3. I mentioned before, I am a bit older and have played BG1 and BG2, and also DnD and the like. I've always been the nerdy artsy type, and it had always fueled my imagination and gave me energy to keep creating, keep moving, searching, growing.
It was really a struck of luck that I heard the news that BG3 was a thing. I was so isolated I did not engage with any piece of media anymore - I watched no news, no movies, no series, read no books. When I think about it, it's really scary how I felt absolutely nothing, how truly empty of any will to live I was. But it's been wild for a while now. I happened to be on 'vacation' when BG3 got released, and I was sucked into it like I was desperate. And I probably was. I needed anything to take me away from where I was, who (or the lack of) I had become. The game did just that. It's not a coincidence I put 750+ hours in it. I could not stand looking at my own circumstances and somehow I managed to finally escape anywhere else. While I recognize I went to the opposite extreme of (problematic) engagement, I also saw how my mind seeemed to switch on again after a while - as if I was reminded of how it used to be.
Ideas, cohesive thoughts, images, the unavoidable urge to move, to create something - all these things that made me ME started to come back.
I remembered how much I enjoyed fantasy, fiction, having ideas, organizing, planning, making things come true - how much just marking a paper with a pencil brings me joy. How my own mind can be rich and exciting, and how I have the skills to translate those impulses into reality. And that is what made me, all my life. It's hard to explain how I feel after 4 years not creating a single thing, having no impulse or creative idea and watching life pass in a haze, now I feel like I'm finally reconecting to something precious. My doctor even pointed it out, how it seems I'm finally waking up after years, coming out of whatever dark hole I've been in.
While it's been a short while, I'm very aware this is essentially a hyperfixation, but for someone who (even though I tried) could not feel anything towards anything for so long, this seems like a blessing. And I'm doing my best to make a stair out of it - use the momentum to branch out into other things I know I need and miss, the other things that have always been part of my life that I'd let go of.
I'm probably not the only one who clicked with this game, and it somehow pulled us out of strange, scary places. Even though it's a lot of projection on our part, people in such situations need something they relate to in order to project onto, to grab to float. Not everything works, it must be something special to the person at the right time. Lucky me that Baldur's Gate 3 happened when it did, the way it did, and that I was where I was.
I'm really, truly happy I stumbled onto the news of the game, for whatever reason took action to actually buy it, open and play it. When I did, I had no idea it would be the lifeline I'd grab onto. But it's been, and it meant so much to me. That's all of my sad introspective blurb. I have no way of explaining how thankful I feel to everyone who put this game together. While it wasn't the intention of the creators, BG3 gave me the push I so desperately needed and that nothing else had managed to.
I'd still be lost in a very dark place without it.
:')
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pencilofawesomeness · 4 months
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Hello!
*Taps fingers together* I come to bug you regarding the Secret Santa exchange!
I saw your character prompts and decided to try and mix all three. I wanted to ask if there was any Laxus + Cobra brotp, or Cobra + Thunder Legion friendship headcanons you'd want to see added?
If not headcanons, then anything in particularly you would like to see regarding the five of them?
Hahahah hello there, mystery person~
Oooo you bring to the table a tantalizingly interesting prospect. I do have waaaaaay too many thoughts, and many of them are admittedly steeped in my own AU because I accidentally sold my soul to it (as authors do) so by all means, do not feel encumbered by my thoughts/ideas. Treat them as a buffet to pick and choose and take inspo from, because unfortunately you just gave me license to ramble :D
(and this is going to be rambley; too tired to make this cohesive beyond bullet points)
(I love these idiots very much)
—Laxus and Erik brotp is so real to me, fam. It's the "hey we got a lacrima bestowed upon us, whoo" bonding, for one, but beyond that, the sort of....quiet mutual understanding of what it is like to have a "father" figure who is just treating them like a weapon, making them *stronger*, with a faux sort of affection. Beyond the trauma, though, they are both deadpan assholes and I love that for them. If Erik (and this is the htryds coloring) spends a good deal of time having the braincell, then with Laxus he can channel the little-shit-little-brother energy and bully him a bit, and Laxus can be grouchy back and know that Erik can parse through the emotions and figure out what's genuine or not without him figuring out how to put in the effort.
—Also, depending on the setting, they both have the tendency to pull the ~too good for you~ bad boy vibes as a defense mechanism, which makes it utterly unusable on each other, which is fun. Mostly, though, Laxus and Erik have the ability to enjoy a mutual quietness, so to speak; not trying to prove anything, but just leaning back and being normal young adults (with a little salt on the side) and doing whatever. That said, Erik is a bit too much of a dark mirror of how things could have been worse for Laxus, if Ivan was more involved, and this leads to Laxus winning the "big brother instinct" award of the two, which is an experience Erik is not used to but....does not necessarily hate.
—This is a fun headcanon that I haven't had the chance to incorporate into my series yet, but they have fun little music debates. Laxus got Erik into the magic of using music to calm the overstimulation, but they have wildly different tastes. Laxus loves rock and roll and metal, and Erik turned to liking types of bluegrass and straight up classical music. They meet in the middle at alt-rock. They are both always trying to win each other over on certain songs or genres. It works surprisingly often but it's part of the fun to swear undying rivalry to the other's favorite.
—For more Cobra-specific vibes (aka the canon edgemaster), I can see them being a bit more competitive with each other. Which quickly doesn't work when they have completely different specialties, but an effort is made.
—Also something I haven't had the chance to capitalize on outside of the scenarios in my head, but Bickslow and Erik definitely have a fun "we perceive you but we don't care" vibe that I love. Your secrets are obvious but not their business. Sometimes they people watch together for the fun of it, because all of the thoughts they *do* have regarding the things they know have got to go somewhere.
—Evergreen, being the queen of gossip, really really wants in on this. They tease her for it though, and purposely dangle that tea on a string. (Though sometimes Ever *does* get in on it, mostly when it comes to roasting anyone who was particularly rude or annoying, or the silly speculation at the expense of friends, like figuring out what job Nab will eventually go on or what animal Bisca will adopt next.)
—On this same note, Bickslow and Evergreen both have insufferable little sibling energy amongst the Thunder Legion squad, nevermind that Bickslow is the second oldest. Mostly it's just really fun to tease the more serious ones.
—Though Ever and Bickslow are also the most keenly aware of what it is like to be feared. Truly feared. Having eye magic that isn't quite controllable (as a kid, especially) will grant that experience. It is their unspoken agreement never ever to speak of this, of course.
—On an individual note, it is worth it now to bring up that I am an avid fan (read: it's canon to me and sometimes I forget it's not real canon) of the theory that Bickslow was one of the kids experimented on by the Bureau of Magical Development. He's got that unhinged flavor that comes from straight-up trauma, and it does add more context to his otherwise creepy magic. I also hc that the babies are all deceased test subjects, and that is why they have stuck with him all this time. (I am very passionate about the babies as characters, unfortunately, and my little mini series I'm doing for them on tumblr is proof. I am soooo normal.)
—Another theory I love, and that I have somewhat brandished into my own spin, is that Freed is half demon. He sees this as an awful thing, raised by his human parent (mother, in my case), without any real context for demon culture other than the fear of it, so that's why he's super edgy and has locked all of his demon traits away into a single form he swear never to uses unless things are ~Dire~ or whatnot. It's really not that bad though lol.
—The fact that Erik will Know Freed's secrets bother him immensely. Freed is, unfortunately, *just* a smidge too dense to realize that Bickslow has also known all along, just because Bickslow is strangely very good at keeping things to himself, whereas Erik's magic is more obvious. In my au, Laxus knows too, and is literally just waiting for Freed to admit it, because it's not that big of a deal, really.
—Laxus is also the only one who (at first) knows about Bickslow's past, among the team. Mostly because of some variant of Laxus having seen/met him when it was all raw. Depending on the au flavor, this either is what gives the chaotic dude and the stoic dude a sort of mutual respect (closer to canon) or makes them the og best friends (htryds style). In the latter case, they are each other's impulse control and/or voice of reason, which is probably unfortunate because they're not great at it. This is why Bickslow has doodled drawings on half of Laxus's furniture and why Laxus gets away with avoiding his problems a little longer than he should.
—Freed is simultaneously the most responsible and the most edgy and ergo reckless of the crew. Everyone agrees he's got to value his safety just a little bit more. He's also the only one who consistently remembers the schedule/to-do-list.
—Erik shares the "living itinerary, doesn't have executive disfunction problems" braincell with Freed, and in the right conditions, they work very well together. Bonding over the experience of herding cats, that is their teammates.
—Not a headcanon but I want to whack all of them with sticks. The Sad Boi Stick, the Whump Stick... All flavors. Getting the ones who never fess up to their trauma a good thwack makes the trauma spill out, and I enjoy the possibilities that entails. Put them in Situations. >:D
—I do also appreciate them being silly-goofy, too, of course. No need to be angry all of the time, in some of their cases. (They all need affection so bad. The hurt/comfort allure of it all. Just sit down and admit they need it, etc etc.) Something that is conveniently done after a good physical and emotional thwacking— *gets dragged away forcefully*
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mouseratz · 1 month
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I'm finally watching the new monster high cartoon cuz I got it on DVD....
the visuals/animation are very modern Nickelodeon cartoon. I don't hate them but I also don't love them, even if I think the character designs themselves are nice. it still is probably nicer than most of the g1 cartoons, though, which were just kind of cheap looking flash or not very excellent/kind of uncanny 3d animation.
the meanest thing I have to say about it is the music is uhm. well I don't like it. it arguably does compare worse to the original themes....well they're not as catchy, sorry.
It's very silly in tone most of the time, occasionally the jokes are just kind of cringe worthy but that's always been part of the brand, which relies very heavily on puns.
The characters kind of make more sense than before. I think the concept of "clawdeen being a werewolf coming-of-age/doesn't know it yet" is a lot more interesting than "she's always a werewolf and never shifts" and "Frankie's the focus because they are literally like a newborn baby". plus the way it's kind of treated as like a magical girl transformation ....well if I was a little kid I'd be REALLY into that! as an adult it's still very cheesy, but I think it makes sense.
what is really funny is that toralei British for some reason 😭 was she always? I didn't remember if so.
also clawdeen being a big nerd instead of "just likes fashion and is a good friend to the other ghouls" DOES add depth to her character, even if you may not like the direction they took her character design (other than inexplicably lightening her skin and using a terrible hair fiber on the real doll, I think it's cute!)
"we know new monsters need time to tell their parents on their own time" I also like how it is being used as a not-so-subtle metaphor for LGBT identity- it's a new part of herself she's excited about, but not ready to share with her family yet, and still discovering what that means. others might say that's still cheesy and it kinda is but it's also a kids cartoon, so I think that's a good thing, and also reads as aware of the way many monster stories are about being Othered.
Frankie's pronouns are also stated clearly, but without any excess, which I feel is particularly smart- it's without fuss, a normal thing for someone to be, and not even part of their monsterness necessarily.
It's still overall very silly and clearly geared towards kids (duh), but I feel it has a lot more heart and is more cohesive than the cartoons I grew up with for the same series.
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beneathashadytree · 2 years
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that one request where sherlock comes back after the timeskip to his wife who had a baby gave me inspiration for my own request! so this would probably work better for one of the moriarty brothers or mycroft or any character of “noblity/status” but feel free to do whoever!
so the scenario, just a warning, it’s LONG: Y/N is a woman of poor/middle class status and she’s dating one of the moriarty brothers/someone of status. she becomes the subject of gossip for all of upper class society and a bunch of nasty rumors are spread about her like how she’s a gold digger or how she’s only using him to social climb etc. but Y/N doesn’t tell her bf all of the shit that happens cause she doesn’t want to worry him. and he proposes to her and Y/N hesitantly but happily accepts, except the bullying and rumors just get worse until it hits an all time high where someone threatens Y/N telling her to break up with her fiancé of they release a bunch of scandalous stuff about him. so she basically breaks it off with him saying a bunch of stuff like how she only used him for money and how she never loved him etc and then runs away. and Y/N REALLY doesn’t want him to find her going as far as to moving to America or even faking her death so he would stop trying to find her. and i was thinking it could end in 2 ways but you can also write your own if you want! these are just what i thought of! so there’s 1 ending where he figures out what happened, manages to find Y/N, and they reunite and it’s all super cute. or 2, for a LOT more heavy angst, he finds out what happened, manages to find Y/N, but she’s dying in childbirth/has died already and left a newborn baby behind and it’s very angst filled but also bittersweet
sorry that was like SUPER long. i felt like i had to set the scene first but you don’t have to make it super long if you don’t wanna! thanks a bunch!
RUMOR HAS IT - ALBERT MORIARTY X READER
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Warnings : lots of internalized misogyny and envy from women, period-typical classism, blackmail, this is not proofread, reader uses she/her pronouns!
Genre : angst (to mild fluff)
Word count : 4.1K words (ouch)
Additional notes : Thank you so much for requesting! After I had a quick look at my masterlist, I realized that I never wrote for Albert, so I went with him. He’s also the one who’s the most in the public eye, given how he was born into nobility and has a well-known job. However, I hate to say this, but this request also goes against my rules and guidelines for requesting🫣 To work on such a heavily detailed piece, I need to write a minimum of 4K words for it to be cohesive, which is the typical length of a ficlet, whereas a regular oneshot would have significantly less details and require a maximum of 1K to 2K words. I have stopped taking requests for ficlets for a year now, seeing as writing them takes up so much time, and I end up totally drained for days afterwards🫠 So please be sure to check my rules for requesting, linked in my pinned post! 🥰 However, the idea was absolutely wonderful, and you’ve been quite sweet about it, so I would’ve felt horrible saying no to that. Anyways, I hope this ends up being to your liking, and I hope you enjoy reading it!💗💗
Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.
Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!
Masterlist
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Being courted by Albert James Moriarty meant that she’d had firsthand experience in seeing the disparity between the English social classes. A wealthy, charming nobleman like him had—for some reason or the other that she couldn’t quite recall—taken an interest in her some year ago, despite her being born to a factory worker and a seamstress.
It had surprised her when he’d first flirtatiously complimented her for her beauty while they’d both been helping out at an orphanage during their spare time, effortless charm flowing through his every word and motion. The man was every bit as magnetic as it was whispered among the public, particularly the women of them. Though she’d had her reservations, she wasn’t immune to the sweetness in his words and how affable he was. What she expected to have become friendship soon bloomed into something more, her unease melting with every kind gesture, every wonderful outing, and every kiss upon her palm every time they parted.
The ‘Ton seemingly shared her surprise at the development, seeing as they soon became a household name for gossip. Horror and disdain always followed the discovery of the fact that they were openly together, with none holding back the sentiments of disgust.
“Her?! But she’s so terribly plane, and awfully poor! She can’t possibly be right for him when she’s a commoner with filthy blood!” She couldn’t count on her hands just how many times she’d heard the angry whispers—whether by the customers at the bakery where she worked, out about in the marketplace when noblewomen haughtily passed by, or by passersby near the mansion gates whenever she stepped out of the carriage Albert had her brought in.
Though the words left a sting that wouldn’t quite go away no matter how hard she clenched her fists and dug her nails into her palms, she always tried her best to brush them off. After all, what did it matter if the masses thought her unworthy, when Albert himself looked at her like she cradled his whole world in her palms? Why should she care, when his hand always sought hers and his thumb carressed her knuckles whenever they went on a walk together?
It made no difference if the word spread around that she was leeching off him for money, because she knew her pride and dignity would never allow that to actually happen. She always asked him to keep his lavish gifts to a minimum, and as adoring as Albert was, he’d never go against her wishes. Word has spread that she was only using him to pull herself out from the shroud of the working class and into the dazzling nobility, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth, given how repulsed she’d been by the false glamour and shine that seemed to settle down on the rich whenever they attended the balls held at the Moriarty household, causing her to politely request from her lover that she be excused from them after a few appearances at his side as he’d wished.
Ever the understanding companion, not once did he express disgruntlement, accepting the fact that she simply did not feel comfortable enough to mingle in such places—and she was unlikely to ever know it, but perhaps that was part of what Albert liked so much about her; she shared his exact feelings towards the accursed nobility that he’d been equally fortunate and unlucky to have been born into.
Through all the terrible name-calling and rumors that flew around her, she absolutely refused to let Albert in on them. Sure, he had his connections and could’ve easily found out under normal conditions, but the nobles seemed to be extra careful to not let him know. Not a single word was spoken when he was in the vicinity—a wise decision from them, really, because she was more than well aware of Albert’s capabilities; she knew he could have them fall into ruination should he hear a malicious word about his beloved. That deadly glint to his emerald eyes that she sometimes saw when he was displeased with a nobleman who’d swindled another client wasn’t an empty threat.
More importantly, she simply didn’t want him to worry. If she told Albert of the rumors circulating, his primary concern (before disposing of the perpetrators) would be her well-being. He would fret over her, and would almost smother her with his well-intentioned concerns. If he had it his way, he probably wouldn’t even leave her side at all, something that wouldn’t do given his high standing in society. No; it was best to stay quiet and shrug the vile words off.
And shrug them off she did on a particularly pleasant Sunday morning after she’d attended mass at her local church. The collective hushed voices and cruel glares were nothing unfamiliar, but she hadn’t wanted to dwell on them, seeing as she was going out with Albert right afterwards. He’d asked her out for lunch at a fancy restaurant, something that was both overwhelming and yet thrilling. She always enjoyed trying out new cuisine with him, even if the setting was a little daunting at first; she wasn’t about to spoil her fun with the man she loved with thoughts of how out of place she might’ve felt.
His brilliant smile as he held her gloved hands in his sent her heart fluttering in her ribcage. “You’re looking extra happy tonight,” she pointed out, though she had no room to say it when she herself was grinning from ear to ear.
“Well, I happen to always be happy when I’m with you.” His reply was smoother than she’d expected, and she felt herself flushing. Albert’s expression remained open and earnest, and she wondered how easy it was for him to charm her socks off. It didn’t take long for her to go down that line of thinking, because he soon stunned her as his hand momentarily left hers to pull out a small velvet box from his tailcoat.
“Albert…” she breathed out, heart thumping wildly in her chest. She watched as he slowly opened it to reveal a breathtaking ring, with a clean-cut dazzling diamond in the center, surrounded by smaller pieces that formed the shape of a delicate flower.
“I would’ve probably bought something bigger if I was left to my own devices, but Louis had to physically restrain me and remind me that you would probably hate that,” he laughed out, the tender look in his green eyes hypnotizing, “But I suppose it doesn’t matter as long as you like it. What matters is whether or not you’d be willing to be my wife.” Albert reached out once again to squeeze her fingers affectionately, lifting them to leave a soft kiss against her glove and immediately warming the spot. “Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”
Swallowing thickly, she could feel her stomach flip with a mix of anxiety and pure elation. She briefly thought of all the nasty words she’d heard just by being his lover, and though she knew that things would get infinitely worse now that they were officially on the road to marriage, she squashed those thoughts. It wouldn’t do to hesitate; not when she loved him so incredibly much. It was her choice to grasp her happiness by the hands, and she could only imagine it with him.
And so she hurriedly nodded. “Of course. Oh, Albert!” she cooed, adoration washing all over her, as she squeezed his hand back, the most stunning smile on her face matching his.
***
Only a fool would’ve thought that becoming Albert’s fiancée would make things quiet down, and a fool she was not. However, she certainly hadn’t foreseen the fact that they’d only grow crueler and more condescending as soon as he’d introduced her to high class society as the future Mrs. Moriarty. How foolish of her, to not realize that they’d only grow more bitter and hateful the more her beloved solidified their relationship and showed that they weren’t to part.
She could’ve sworn that now whenever she locks up the bakery after a rainy day, some women wait until she turns around to order their carriages to leave at that exact moment, the wheels splashing the ends of her skirts with murky water. Sneers were always directed in her direction, and she’d been called a “filthy mutt” more times than she could count. The ladies, in their pristine clothes and flawless makeup, made it their job to remind her of how utterly inferior she was to them, and how undeserving she was of Albert’s affections.
One particularly sour-looking woman went out of her way to visit her daily at the bakery. She was the wife of a huge upstanding figure in society; a merchant who’d had close business relations with Albert in the past, and had supposedly remained a steadfast ally and partner to him. Since the girl wasn’t the owner, she could do nothing to deter the noblewoman from coming, seeing as she wouldn’t want to risk the business.
“You’re nothing but a gold-digging hound, pawing after its master before it sinks its teeth into him,” she’d hissed at her, roughly a month after their engagement, “I know what you lot are like, lecherous women with no honor and all the greed there is in the world.”
“My lady, I would rather not mix business with personal affairs,” she’d gritted her teeth as she said, “Your change.” And as she’d handed the woman back her coins, the furious lady had already taken off her gloves, long nails deliberately scratching her palms enough to draw blood, before haughtily turning her back on her.
Her malicious visitor at work had then persisted, injecting venomous words into her every single morning, her glare hard and loathing—until one day, she walked in with an oddly smug look on her face.
“Shall I get you your regular, my lady?” she sighed, preparing to turn around and take out her pain au chocolat, but the woman waved her off, that strange expression not wavering.
“No, there won’t be any need for that anymore. I won’t have to ward you off, because you won’t be seeing Albert again.”
A confused look came on her face. “Excuse me? You’re very mistaken if you think—“
“No, my dear girl,” she interrupted, her sickly sweet voice alerting her brain, “You’re the one who’s mistaken. You will end your engagement with him, tonight.” She had a steely glint in her eyes, her grin merciless. “Or else my husband will have a lot to say to the public, regarding the deals with firearms that haven’t been released to them.”
“My Albert would never do anything that conflicts with England’s interests,” she firmly said, all civility left behind the moment the noblewoman decided to bring her lover’s honesty into question.
“You poor thing,” she leered at her, a victorious smile on her face as she knew that she had her backed into a corner. “You seem to think that anyone cares to verify the statements. With a news story regarding his unscrupulous visits to your home at night, his honor will be in question the entire time. A false accusation after that will be more than enough to shatter his public image permanently.”
A sour taste fills her mouth as she paled. She knew that if anything were to be said against Albert, no matter how hard he’d try to negate it, there was little he could do when the entirety of the upper class turned on him. His power lied within his social standing, a good portion of which he had labored endlessly to maintain, and she would feel sickening guilt for the rest of her life if she ended up wrecking that for him.
“You’re a smart girl, and you know what to do.” The woman leaned back as she smirked. “End things with Albert tonight, and he shall not be harmed. That is my vow. Stick to your end, and we shall have no problems.” And so, parasol in hand, she clicked her heels away as she exited, leaving the girl to slump against the countertop, her heart beating wildly in her ears and fear turning her legs numb.
***
“Darling, where’ve you been? I sent a carriage for you hours ago. Were you not home?” Albert’s worried face was the first thing that greeted her at the doorstep, dresses in only a shirt and pants and his houserobe over it, before he took in the blank look on her face and frowned deeply. “Has something happened? Come in, love, it’s warmer inside.”
“No, it’s… fine,” she almost choked on her words, before she cleared her throat. “I’ve only got something to say.” Before he could look at her with his kind eyes and render her weak, she had to get done with this. Avoiding his confused stare, she twisted the ring off her finger and took his hand in hers, saying, “We’ve got to part ways, Albert.”
“Pardon?” he laughed as she opened his palm, but it sounded weak and a little hurt, “I’m not sure—“
She steeled her resolve and met his eyes, willing herself to keep any tears at bay and not allow herself a moment of weakness. “It’s been going on for far too long. All I’d ever wanted was a taste of what being rich felt like, of how the upper class was. The money was far more interesting than you’ve ever been.”
Albert recoiled a little at the words, and she was sure now that she hadn’t imagined the wounded look that flashed in his eyes. “Darling! You can’t mean that, you’ve never even touched my money, you can’t—“
“Can’t you see, Albert?” she snapped at him, frustrated at how it was dragging out. She wanted to get it over with; to bury the hurt before it could resurface. “I’ve used you as a stepping stone. I’ve never once loved, and yet here you are still deluding yourself that I still want you.” With a shake of her head, she dropped the ring into his outstretched hand, before stepping back fast as her knees began to shake and her chest began to ache. “Goodbye, Albert. May we never meet again.”
The sight of his stunned and heartbroken expression would be one that she’d never forget. It had been burned into her memory, to remind her of what she��d lost. Still, she couldn’t give up now. She had to leave. And so, with her fist clenched around the cheapest steamship’s ticket to New York, she turned on her heel and disappeared into the chill outside.
***
New York was just over two centuries old, but it still held the novelty of a brand new city. For some odd reason, everything about it tempted her and spoke to her of new dreams and a different life. And perhaps, had she not been nursing a broken heart and struggling to make ends meet, she would’ve come to love it. But for now, she loathed it and everything it meant for her.
It was nothing but a mere substitute; a place she’d fled to with nothing more than a tattered trunk that held what little she owned, and enough tears to fill the Atlantic twice over. If it could keep Albert and his reputation safe, however, she’d do it all over again without a single beat of hesitation.
Working at a bakery was a little bit better paying than it was in Durham, seeing as the general American public was better off with its economic boom than England’s limited upper class. The rent, however, took up a great portion of her pay, seeing as she was a single tenant that wasn’t splitting with anyone else.
What she most found befuddling was the cultural shock. Everyone was a lot more lax about the rules of propriety and etiquette, they spoke without inhibition with their peculiar accents, and the country advertised freedom above all else. What that freedom actually entailed, she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.
Still, it was at least a place where she could pretend that life was alright without her fiancé—or rather, ex-fiancé—holding her in his arms. She could never atone for her doing him wrong, or for lying to his face that way. Many a time she’d entertained the idea of running back home and confessing the truth, but then she remembered that sinister noblewoman’s face and shivered.
Before she knew it, she had spent three months in solitude in her small New York apartment. Her nights after closing shop was spent by the fireplace, knitting a scarf in an emerald color that was the same shade as a certain someone’s eyes.
Damn it all, for leaving her still so hung up on the man she’d never once stopped loving. She dropped her needles to her lap, hunching over as she squeezed her eyes shut. With so much she wished she’d never had to say, she wanted to cry her eyes out in despair, but knew that no one would hear her call for help but herself and these four walls.
A banging on her door caused her to jump in her seat, knocking the ball of yarn at her feet. She frowned. Her rent wasn’t due for another two weeks, and she hadn’t asked for the evening paper to be delivered to her doorstep. There wasn’t anyone coming to mind that could want anything from her at this hour.
As the rapping against her door grew more insistent, she grabbed her shawl from the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders.
“Coming, coming, Jesus,” she mumbled under her breath, before finally swinging the door open.
And there stood none other than Albert, his tie crooked, hear terribly disheveled and much longer than she recalled it being, and face looking clearly haggard and unshaven. He looked dazed, eyes dull but wide as he stared at her as though she were a mirage. Disbelieving that he stood right there in front of her, she couldn’t help but gape at him for almost two minutes, before he visibly shivered, and she remembered that he was standing in the middle of the cold.
“Come in,” she cleared her throat, gesturing for him to enter, something he seemed more than happy to obey.
As he sat down on the couch and she sat back in her chair, he kept his eyes trained on her, unmoving. While pretending to busy herself with tossing another log in the fireplace, she couldn’t help but think of just how much weight he seemed to have lost. He looked far worse for wear than she’d dreamed he’d be.
“Please look at me,” he softly said, and it seemed more like he was begging her. She stilled in place, slowly turning around to face him, and her breath hitched. Nothing in the world could get her to turn away when he looked at her so earnestly and with so much vulnerability in his eyes.
“Two weeks after you left, a woman, whom I recognized as being the wife of someone I’d had a good relationship with, came to talk to me.” His voice was low as he spoke, a little deeper and more tired than she remembered it being. His words, however, caused her stomach to sink as she imagined what could’ve happened.
“Oh?”
“She told me how happy she was that you were out of the picture. That now she had a better chance,” Albert smiled derisively, “It seemed she didn’t care that she was admitting to desiring infidelity.”
“I’m not quite sure what’s that got to do with me, my Lord.” Trying to sound as distant as she could, she prayed she wouldn’t go weak in the knees. The last thing she wanted was to get him into any further trouble by being entangled with her.
Hurt flashed behind his eyes. “I’m not your lord, and I never have been anything other than your Albert. And you, my beloved fiancée.” He leaned in his seat, the firelight reflected in his eyes. “She must’ve threatened you, hadn’t she?”
She sighed, “No, Albert, she hadn’t.” Not her, at the very least. “I wouldn’t cower when I am threatened because I don’t particularly care what happens to me.”
“And that’s why our dear friend Sherlock argued that she most likely threatened to harm me instead. Am I correct in believing his theory right?” Her tongue was heavy in her mouth as he eyed her carefully, a calculating look on his face. “Your response was a confirmation. You said you don’t care what happens to you, which means that the threats were never directed towards you.”
Remaining quiet and biting back her tongue was the only way she could prevent herself from admitting to the truth. His expression turned desperate as he stood up to walk over to her.
“Did you think I’d fear anyone? I’ve never been at any danger. Why did you not come to me with what she’d told you? We would’ve disposed of her immediately.”
She turned her face to the side. “If you had no fear, then I had enough for the both of us.” Taking in a rattling breath, she could hold back no more. “The truth wouldn’t have mattered, but the people’s trust in you should never waver. She wanted to put that to the test in the cruelest way possible.”
Fingers found her chin, tilting her head towards him. Emerald eyes bore into hers as he firmly said, “Even if she’d carried that out, I would’ve dispelled any rumors with little effort.” Albert then smiled sadly, “But then again, ignoring things was how you’d always dealt with rumors, wasn’t it?” It felt like she couldn’t breathe as he spoke, bringing to light everything she’d hoped she could bury in the past. “Fred had found that out over a year ago, but he’d been withholding the information, as he was under the impression that you had already told me.”
“Don’t berate me, Albert,” her bottom lip wobbled as she said it, and she mustered all the strength she had to keep as straight a face as she could. “If I had told you, you would’ve worried incessantly.”
“And that’s my job,” he softly said, going down on his knees to sit on the carpet beside her, his calloused hands gently cradling her face, “I’m not berating you, love. I’m only saddened by the fact that you didn’t think you could communicate these things with me. I would’ve never done or said anything that you didn’t wish to see or hear.”
When he held her face like this with that kindness in his eyes she’d missed having directed at her, a small part of her cracked. Wondering why she ever thought it a smart idea to hide things from him and lie to him, her shoulders slumped in defeat. His fingers began to caress her warm skin, and she began blinking back tears at the affection that swelled within her that moment.
“How did you find me?” she managed to croak out.
Albert shrugged, “I had a couple of connections in this city. One of them seemed to know about our relationship from a few noble English acquaintances. I’d once done him a favor, so he promised to pay me back by finding your whereabouts. After all, you were registered to have arrived at the port of New York.” He sighed heavily as he leaned in, his expression growing more solemn. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find you. It hadn’t crossed my mind at the start that you’d have left the country. Only when I had enough courage to entertain the idea that you’d left everything behind did I think of America.”
She couldn’t help herself. Perhaps it was his gentle voice, or perhaps that she’d missed his handsome face too much, or perhaps because she’d been secretly wishing all this time that he’d come find her, but for whatever reason, she found herself choking on a sob, flinging her arms around his neck and falling forward.
With an “oof!”, they both fell back onto the carpet, though neither of them cared, as they got entangled in each other’s limbs. Tucking her head in his neck, she cried to her heart’s content, wringing out all the sorrow and loneliness she’d had to shoulder on her own in an unfamiliar place that could never be her home. Albert’s grip on her was firm but loving, and the sound of him slowly inhaling her in as his hand rubbed her back was the most soothing thing she’d never even known she’d missed.
“Wherever you want to go from here on out,” he murmured in her ear, “You have all my love and support, if you’ll take me back.”
“You silly man, of course I will,” a watery laugh escaped her, sniffling as she only held onto him tighter, “Please take me back with you. Home is wherever you are, anyways.”
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Taglist: @sherlockscumslut @lilias-highlights @whitecelluyu @wifeofkyojuro
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cosmosees · 3 months
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Given that you beat Sonic Forces recently I’m wondering, what would you improve to make it a overall better game?
ohh this is something i actually have thoughts about. lemme do a readmore because youve caught me at a good time friend
ok so first of all the glaringly obvious thing is to nix classic sonic. i like classic! hes a cute little dude!! he did not add anything to the game. his levels were the ones i got stuck on the most often, and they didn't even really need to be there! he doesn't add anything to the story, and i feel like it wouldve made more sense to focus on modern sonic and the rookie.
and on that note....i feel like they shouldve gotten rid of the 2d stages/segments in general. they are nnnoott fun. throwing 2d platforming with a dark, hard to parse color palette in a way that punishes you for building momentum in a boost game was not a good choice. during the next to last avatar level i literally had to change my avatars colors just so i could see her because i kept running off cliffs. this gripe is situational to what color rookie you have but the fact that its a gripe at all is a problem!
i do like the wispons as a gameplay concept and several of them are fun to use, but i kind of wish some of them felt better to use- particularly lightning, which has accidentally thrown me off of platforms a few times. the whip thing is a cool idea but it jerks you around so violently and you basically come to a complete stop for a good few frames after using it, so if you didnt hit the enemy you wanted (which is. pretty easy!) youre vulnerable
the double boost segments are fun but i wish there was a way to disable the button mashing. ive had repetitive stress strain in both wrists for a long time and there were points where i would have to put the game down after doing one because my wrists hurt!! i cant imagine how hard those must be for people with hand mobility issues worse than mine.
and like...in terms of story. my biggest gripes are the fact that it takes itself too seriously, the lack of cohesion surrounding infinite and the ruby, and the lack of prominence of the rookie. the first and third one are pretty easy fixes but for the second one like.
one. just decide whether eggman made the ruby or not. its so easy.
two. episode shadow is something that is integral to infinites character but it is SO ooc for shadow. i think if it had to be kept, shadow should be replaced with another character. maybe omega! idk it sure wouldve made his random appearance at the end of the game feel more earned
anyway ive been a longtime forces fan and i really really love this game in THEORY, it has strong concepts going for it but the execution in nearly all of them is anywhere from lackluster to straight up bad. such is the life of a sonic fan i suppose
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romanceyourdemons · 10 months
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prince of persia: the sands of time (2010) is not a good movie, and, worse, it is not a compelling movie. it goes without saying that the film is plagued at almost every level with whitewashing, orientalism, and racism, and that the dialogue and characters rely so much on cliche that they are hardly better than three-times-recycled homages to the worst of pirates of the caribbean (2003). the plot is oddly paced and fails at virtually every point to make its emotional stakes significant to the audience—through the vague world building that clearly specifically services the plot, through the unoriginal and uncreatively used macguffin, and through jake gyllenhaal’s unusually wooden performance. the film also fails in terms of visuals. the film’s fight choreography and action setpieces clearly show its origin as an adaptation of a video game, in choreography that showcases extended, relatively narratively isolated fight sequences and relies on unusual and character-specific weapons, and action setpieces that are generally navigated between moments of combat rather than interacted with during combat. there is nothing wrong with these philosophies of combat—indeed, not only are they key to the combat-narrative interface of many video games, but within the medium of film they are not dissimilar to the methodology of martial arts films, particularly more modern ones. however, the cinematography of this film does not draw anything from the cinematography of either that form of film or from the medium of video games. it opts instead for the short, close shots and almost claustrophobically mobile framing of many 2000s war and action films. in a film like the bourne identity (2002), where combats are shorter, action setpieces are more familiar and predictable, and vitally where disorientation is key, this works well, but in a film with long, fluid combats and intricate, unpredictable and unfamiliar sets, the longer, wider, steadier shots employed by both martial arts films and video games are key to making the action cohesive, compelling, and above all comprehensible. unfortunately, this was one of many fronts on which prince of persia: the sands of time (2010) fails, and so i do not feel comfortable awarding it any of those three titles
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Corrupting Influences: Shadowbound part 2
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(art by exescout on DeviantArt)
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 In many ways, the shadowbound corruption (and the tropes it is based on) can serve as an allegory for mental illness, particularly depression. However, it is a bit of a heavy-handed and often misused one.
The idea of someone being consumed mind and soul by darkness, that they no longer see the beauty of the world, and begin to see that wonder as a garish farce which only furthers their torment is nothing new, and the shadowy powers such corruption grants are only a side effect, an outward expression of the internal consumption.
As it stands, it takes exposure to the plane of shadow for months, or the direct action of the forces of darkness to inflict this corruption, leaving the victim’s soul slowly darkening until they forget everything that was once important to them. Meanwhile, the colors bleach from their body as they lose touch with the light and material world.
As the progression advances, the corruption causes the victim to reject the light, requiring long periods of absolute darkness to feel comfortable. If they do not get such respite, they become more and more overwhelmed by the beauty and light around them, and might compulsively lash out. The first time this happens, they destroy something beautiful. Destroying these things by themselves does not advance the corruption, but rather, how important they are. Terrorizing or harming living things or destroying truly unique objects advances them further, but they only truly go beyond redemption when they turn on something truly precious, such as a prized possession, or someone they truly love, the more integral to their resistance to the corruption, the worse it is. At this point, they lose all identity and become monstrous beings of darkness, only capable of causing ruin.
One of the ways this corruption manifests is the darkening of the eyes, allowing them to see further into the darkness than before and enhances their senses overall. However, this also increases their sensitivity to light, making it painful and distracting.
The darkness within these afflicted is a sucking, clinging thing, and some can make use of it to reflexively drain their own allies when their own bodies and minds are harmed, sharing the load at terrible cost. However, this estranges them from their comrades, coming to view them as useful resources, struggling to understand why they would choose to help them in other ways.
Fear grips at these poor souls, turning their hair white and tormenting them with nightmares, making them especially vulnerable to fear. However, in turn they know how best to scare foes with magical or mundane means.
For some, the shadow pulls at their very body, and they sometimes flicker, as if they are losing cohesion or they are being pulled bodily into the Plane of Shadow. Either way, they become hard to hit or even deal deep wounds to save for with weapons that cross the barrier between planes. However, this also makes it hard for them to apply or resist sustained force against foes, becoming easily grappled or sent tumbling.
A cruel sadism overtakes some of them, giving them a knack for dealing especially painful wounds that leave foes reeling and writhing. However, this also advances the transformation of their eyes, making them easily blinded by bright light.
Like a velstrac, some also revel in pain, and grievous wounds only invigorate them further. However, this addiction to pain causes them to turn and accept it, dealing more harm to themselves in the process.
Despair clouds the minds of those under this affliction, and this can manifest outwardly as a gaze of despair that leaves foes unnerved, their glances loaded with the weight of lost aspirations. However, the bodies of these victims begin to wither alongside the desires they believe to be pointless or beyond their capabilities now.
The darkness and dissolution that threatens to consume them can be turned by some into a weapon, eroding and aging foes with a touch. However, such power cannot be fully contained, causing their possessions to become brittle as a result.
The power of the shadow can make the unreal real and the real unreal, and some of these victims can harness it to conjure forth quasi-real creatures and objects for their own needs. Unlike spells that do the same thing, however, the realness of these beings is based on their mastery of the corruption, and is lower than normal.
Escaping this corruption requires either destroying the original source of the corruption (relatively easy) or restoring all the joy that has been stained by the darkness (potentially very hard). This might entail some deep therapy to drag the victim out of the darkness so they can see the joy and beauty of the world again, or it might involve rituals that possibly involve the most beautiful and pristine places in the multiverse, or both.
 In any case, this corruption promises plenty of power, particularly in the way of disruption and debilitation, but with defensive abilities as well. However, depending on the character and their personality, they might beeline right through the corruption stages depending on the availability of beautiful things for them to destroy.
It’s all very much about fighting despair and struggling to find the beauty in the world, so if that appeals to you and you know how to avoid certain pitfalls, this corruption might be a fun consequence of the evil in the darkness.
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shoechoe · 1 year
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I finished my rewatch of Stardust Crusaders. I've decided that I'm just going to dump my thoughts about it in this post. It will not be as organized or meticulous as my Battle Tendency analysis (link to that post here because Tumblr seems adamant about hiding that post... sigh), but it gives my general feelings on part 3 after my refresher. (word count: 1303)
 I have not kept it a secret that Stardust Crusaders has generally been my least favorite part of Jojo, only surpassed by Battle Tendency. With Battle Tendency, though, my dislike is due to specific reprehensible elements of the story that ruin it for me despite having things I otherwise enjoy; Stardust Crusaders is not like that.
 I think my biggest problem with part three is that I always get the feeling that it did not really know what it was doing. Its plot is a lot simpler than other parts, but it is very long, having about twice as many episodes as both parts one and two combined, which is much longer than it should've been if you're asking me.
 The part tries to give a "road trip" feel with its length and how the crusaders travel to different parts of the world, but just as road trips often are, it gets really tedious to watch. Multiple stand battles feel like they exist purely to stall for time (or to cram as many media references of things that Araki likes as possible). The story feels packed with unnecessary filler fights that make it far too long for such a simple plot. At multiple points, I went to myself "Do I really want to rewatch this all the way through?" I did, though, of course. (The only arc I skipped was the Alessi fight. I watched that once and that was one too many times.)
Perhaps paradoxically, alongside being too long, the thing I think the part is really lacking is... room to breathe. The plot is essentially fought through the entirety of the way. Every single episode minus maybe the first few have some intense fight to the death being the main focus. This is to be expected- it's a shonen, after all- but I really think the part would've done better if it cut out some of the more unnecessary fights and replaced a few of them with character episodes. How are DIO and his followers tracking the Crusaders on their journey? What do the Crusaders act like when there's no enemy Stand user about to jump them and we just get to see them chill? How's Holy and Suzi Q doing? Near the very end, we get a scene where Suzi visits the bedridden Holy and hugs her, and it's one of my favorite scenes in the part. I just wish we got more of that.
 Several times, the part attempts to change things up by messing with the status quo, but it just makes the story feel messy. Anne, a little girl character, shows up and tags along with the Crusaders very briefly only to get taken away after a few fights and never mentioned again, leaving you wondering what the point of her existence was supposed to be. Iggy is introduced halfway through to mostly be used for a few minutes of comic relief screentime and only becomes useful for about two fights at the end, dying in the second. Just like Anne, I fail to see the point of Iggy’s character, even though I didn’t mind either of them.
 Avdol gets killed off very early on and brought back eleven episodes later... only to do nothing particularly important and just get killed off again. Kakyoin is given some random injury and is written out of the story for the entirety of the Egypt part of their journey (even though I'm pretty sure the Crusaders have gotten far worse injuries than just getting their eyes lightly slashed and managed to heal completely by the next episode) only for him to basically eat shit and die at the end anyway too.
 It all feels less like a cohesive story and more like a bunch of "ooh, what if this happened? Then what if this happened? Then what if this happened?" combined with having a Stand fight every single episode (this getting especially bad later in, where every fight was a two-parter. Seriously, the Bastet fight did... not need to be a two-parter). Then you look back at the story as a whole, and it feels messy and bloated and leaves you with the question of what the point of all that was. Sure, there were points with fun moments in almost every episode, but was that... really worth sitting through all of its eighteen-hour runtime?
 Part 3's high point is easily the personalities and group dynamics of the Crusaders. Though I'd argue they do not have a ton of depth and their personalities are fairly simple, especially compared to characters in future parts, they're easy to latch onto, bounce off each other really well and have so many genuinely fun moments that they become endearing. I admit that I went into the part cynically, but despite my complaints, I came out still enjoying my experience, mostly because of the Crusaders themselves. I even found myself liking Kakyoin even though I’ve always found him to be a somewhat dull character that doesn’t really live up to the number of fans he has (sorry). This is another reason why I feel like episodes without fights would've really helped the part, because the group dynamic is one of the strongest aspects of it.
 One thing that I found surprising is the fact that DIO, before the very final fight, has very few appearances- fewer than I remembered. I get that he’s supposed to be shrouded in mystery, but I didn’t really like it. With how important he was in part one and the close relationship he had with Jonathan as his adopted brother despite them being practically destined enemies, him in part three being this distant powerful entity that Jotaro never meets and we don’t even see the face of until the end makes him honestly feel weaker than he was in Phantom Blood. I think most of part 3 DIO’s draw is the fact that we’re so familiar with him already; if you kept everything the same, but DIO was instead a character we’d never seen before, there’s a good chance people would find him underused and poorly written. His final fight was bombastic and ridiculous, and he's an absolute riot as a performance-based villain, but I really wished we saw more of him before all of that.
As for my favorite Stardust Crusaders character, I do have to say that it’s still Polnareff. Yeah, he’s terrible, but I always find him the funniest and most entertaining character- I can’t help but have him as my favorite. He’s kind of like how Joseph was in Battle Tendency without any of the strategizing skills and all of the arrogance (and he didn’t go through an arc where he hits on his own mom, nor did he befriend a Nazi). I know “Polnareff is the main character of Stardust Crusaders” is an overused meme, but it really did feel like he was more of a main character than Jotaro at times with how much attention he was given.
My favorite fight in the part is the Daniel J. D'Arby gambling arc. I found it to be surprisingly intense and well-crafted, making use of the "outsmarting your outsmarting" way Jojo writes its fights in such a perfect way. I really had fun watching it and D'Arby's complete mental breakdown at the end was a hilarious sendoff to such an initially menacing character. It ended up sticking out in my mind the most.
I don't think Stardust Crusaders is particularly well-written or has any intended, hidden complex themes to analyze. It's messy and has a lot to criticize, and the story it tries to tell is very simple. However... it is a lot of fun. I can very much see why people like it so much, and I enjoy it myself. There's definitely a reason that it's popular.
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navree · 1 year
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I remember one of your answers you said that the most similar characters to Aegon are Tyrion,Theon,and Aeron why these three specifically ? I'm curious
So for those who don't remember that, this was specifically about who I would compare show!Aegon to in response to all those people who were like "omg new Joffrey" even tho he's not like Joffrey at all (there's an ask about that somewhere but I can't locate it at the moment), and I do believe I said that show!Aegon reads more to me as an amalgamation of Tyrion, Theon, and Aeron.
All three of them share a common trait in that they have used or still do use debauchery as a coping mechanism for deep internal wounds. Tyrion drinks way too much and frequents sex workers because of the ableism he's endured all his life and the abuse he's suffered at the hands of his family, Theon is vain and unserious and cocky to make up for his feelings of otherness and displacement due to being a hostage at Winterfell, Aeron very likely was using drinking and whoring and playing around to try and deal with the lasting trauma from being a victim of sexual abuse, and Aegon, as I've mentioned numerous times, is clearly a wastrel who hardcore abuses susbtances to deal with the fact that he feels not only unloved but genuinely unlovable. Each of them developed unhealthy and negative coping mechanisms to deal with feeling pained deep inside in ways that they feel cannot be alleviated, only medicated and steadfastly ignored, and this has negatively impacted how they're viewed by others, including by members of their own families, which only compounds the feelings of isolation that they all deal with (Tyrion again due to being the undesired dwarf son, Theon due to being sent away, Aeron due to just having consciously separated himself and devoted himself to the Drowned God, Aegon due to being seen as a disappointment by his mother and his siblings in spite of their love for him).
Complicated relationships with their families is something that they all share, though to varying degrees of toxicity. Tyrion and Aeron have it worse, since Tyrion was put down and viciously abused by his father and his sister, and by Jaime due to his complicity in the Tysha debacle, and Aeron not only doesn't appear to have been close to any of his brothers (with the exception of traumabonding with Urri, who he harbors a lot of guilt for "killing" before his conversion) but was also serially molested by one of them, which has had a longlasting impact in the form of what's clearly severely untreated PTSD. But Theon himself feels outcast from his family due to the time he spent in Winterfell and how they seem to blame him for the crime of being a hostage, and Aegon's feelings that his family doesn't love him in spite of how much he cares is just the vicious cycle of parents and children and siblings fucking each other up until he and Alicent start clearing the air with the "do you love me" exchange and trying to defend each other from Meleys. They've also got complex sibling dynamics that are all messy and not easy to untangle (Tyrion with Jaime and Cersei, Aeron and his brothers even aside from Euron being his abuser, Theon and Asha, Aegon and Aemond and Helaena but particularly Aemond, as I have ranted about substantially in the past) and that are all going to play huge parts in whatever arcs remain to them for the rest of the series.
Aegon's similarities with Aeron himself have already been more firml outlined, such as a tendency to turn to religion when dealing with bad things happening to them and a lack of personal closeness to others, and again, bad coping mechanisms. Theon and Aegon share that feeling of isolation specific to having an otherwise cohesive family unit, like the way Asha is not only so much more at home in Pyke than he is but also how much closer she is to Baelon than he is, and how she views herself as better than him (though not without reason), while Aegon clearly feels at odds with how close his mother and Aemond are, and his own feelings of inadequacy as it relates to Aemond even as he loves him and Aemond's apparent disdain for him, since we know that Aegon is willing to go to the mat for Aemond (ironically not dissimilar to the way that Asha does for Theon), though Aemond himself is willing to also go to the mat for his brother and that relationship is only going to get more codependent as the show goes on. Tyrion and Aegon also share a similarity in how their arcs are going to go, as Tyrion is clearly spiraling further and further into darkness and is likely going to be a corrupting influence on Dany before he's either pulled back or goes all the way and dies, much like how Aegon himself is going to slip slower and slower into darkness and ruthlessness, culminating in how he executes Rhaenyra and how he almost kinslays Baela, both motivated by strong feelings of loss and feeling that there's nothing left (Tyrion killed his dad and feels he lost Jaime due to the Tysha confession and not to mention his entire feelings of hopelessness about Tysha and that tragedy, while Aegon's going to lose nearly all of his family members and the near death of Baela is motivated by his grief over losing Sunfyre). And there's a minor thread in the connection to food and poison, and Tyrion wonders in ADWD if The Mushrooms are poisoned, while Aegon himself does die of poisoning (either murder or suicide).
I think all three characters share similarities with the show's interpretation of Aegon, both as a group and on their own individual merits, certainly more than fucking Joffrey.
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sleidog · 1 year
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we like playlists, right? Slei might be my main, but the guy with all the lore and cohesive timeline is definitely Tai, i'm almost always adding to this but! time for some random Tai lore with songs; My church;
Tai is very much a character who's very being and how he presents himself is that of a corrupt priest, he has a holier than thou attitude and very much thinks his way is the only way and anything else- especially with necromancy- is an afront to society. [unless he does it, it's fine]
Some say we're doomed in the heart of our beliefs Death stilled their lips and maintained the peace we keep Now I've seen in a dream that I'm destined for a throne Once I've conquered the cage of this flesh and bone Accept what's kept in reaches of your soul Cut off your will and leave the guilt you hold Give it all to the rebirther Let's take it one step further
Tai's Dream came a bit late, a vision from dragon, rather than the pale tree, he saw himself as something bigger than what he was, an authorative figure, and acts with ruthlessness if that preceived vision/goal is challenged. Introduction;
It's not your fault that I'm so messed up Fragments drift away but my memory's stuck Somewhere between the history of fate and love No I don't wanna think about it, but that's what gets me
Short but telling, Tai's memories of his past life in Maguuma came back to him after the incident with Mordremoth, he died another death in the depths of that forest and came back renewed. For a time, he was better, stuck with his past actions haunting him which, for the most part, kept him from acting out any more. He was downright agreeable, especially with Rui attempting to help him shoulder this as the only other person he's spoken to about this past.
Layin in the darkness, I dreamed I slipped under an ocean, so deep I thought I'd seen the worst parts, of me But that was nothin', it was just an introduction
Tai later flies into a rage, almost to the severity of the one that resulted in the loss of his late wife; finding that his favorite person, the one he entrusted with everything he could think to share, was practicing [albeit accidentally] the precise kind of necromancy that he loathed [bringing back loved ones in the form in which they died] Tai Does Not like to share. Remains; When the world was turned to gray The hatred wouldn't go away Resentment in chains In the coldest of all hearts A voice descends, the light departs Madness remains Tai's closest friend, after his outburst and threats, disappears without so much as a trace. Tai lives with the fact that he no longer has a trace on the one person who could reveal all of his secrets, and the last person he's cared about since his late wife. Tai values loyalty about all else and this was the final straw that broke something in mind. This causes him to devote all of his time even to his own detriment to both finding Rui and getting revenge on the person that, in his mind, caused all of this [Rui's supposed suitor, that Rui found dead and revived] Play the game Paint your scene Taking this to the extreme Masterpiece, Dark design Your last moments, only mine It's a need, Here in dust Kill the world that stole from us Take your place, Let it be In my crimson symphony into the black; Walking the crossroads of hell on earth A devil's deal for a new rebirth I've given my all and day by day My soul still breaks I can remember crossing the line When ushered into a darker time Though we were in agony You left me in your wake
Tai's more fragile mental state leads him down some particularly dark paths. In his solitude, he goes out of his way to visit [and rob] the grave of his late wife, giving her life again so that he has company. This results in his mental state getting worse rather than better- no surpise there- Tai at this point completely ignores the new help that he has in his lab and locks himself away in the basement with the reanimated corpse of his wife. [no not in that way, he isn't a complete monster]
When I curse your name Can you see my face? And do you taste my pain In this bloodstained place? Forever on the attack I'm fighting into the black Without you
Deadman; Tai catches up with Rui and his suitor [Sinigh] eventually, in Cantha of all places. The only reason he breaks out of his stupor to go to Cantha originally was on the word that Dragon's Watch had ended up there, and Tai knew that 1; Sinigh was being held by Dragon's Watch, and 2; Tyria's juristiction didn't cover Cantha, he could keep his title and murder that stupid stump, at least if he was discrete about it, then he could take Rui back home, easy, right? Tai ends up enthralled by the local necromancers and their magically inbued acid bullets- deciding that's just the perfect way to off someone.
There's a bullet with your name on For a heart that is hollow I'm gonna hunt you down to the edge of the world now I'm a storm on the horizon Shattering the silence And you can run, but you can't hide
There's a saying in my homeland Ain't no mercy for the heartless I'm gonna smoke you out from the hole where you hide now I'm a force you'll never outrun I'm a demon with a handgun And the bounty's on your life
Demons; Got these feelings that I don't wanna forget But every memory is bloodstained, soaked in regret I don't wanna need it But I just can't leave it
Tai is detained after the attempt on Sinighs life, as it goes spectacularly wrong and ends up endangering an entire town with his outrage. Slei, acting commander at the time after Tai's eventual defeat uses his political leverage to make sure that Tai is just stripped of his power and deported, not executed like originally planned, as their fight proved that Tai's lifeforce was tangled up with Rui's and Sinighs, and that harming him [or killing him] would result in even more loss of life.
They're holding back my arms But they're telling me this fight is fair I'm a sucker for their charms But these demons are no longer welcome here Tai eventually, many years down the line, enchants a pendant with Rui's lifeforce that he held onto, gifting it back to Rui at his and Sinigh's wedding. if you made it to the end, congrats! you're an absolute star ✨
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crystalelemental · 1 year
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Another request from @books-are-my-life-stuff, for Lodge units. This is a fairly subjective list, based on how well these units perform, and whether or not they're strictly worth the acquisition and investment.  Please note that all of my Lodge units, barring one who will be named on appearance, are 5* 3/5.  So this is a review of performance at what is, essentially, their best.  With that, let's get talking.
A quick note before the breakdown though.  Almost every single one of these units excels in only one format.  Either they're way better in CS than Gauntlet, or way better in Gauntlet than CS.  Almost no one is good in both.  Based on that, the following scale has been determined for ranking purposes:
S: Extremely valuable traits that can make them defining in one meta, while maintaining a decent presence in the other.
A: Valuable traits that can make them dominant in one meta, but may have significant difficulty in the other without support.
B: Valuable traits that make them decent picks in one format, but may significantly struggle in the other regardless of support.
C: Traits have value, but are rarely significant choices so much as filler options.
D: Performance across both metas is limited without significant support.  Performance often falls short of expectations.
F: Performance across both metas is actively poor, with other common options significantly outclassing them.
S TIER
Dawn - Lodge Dawn is absolutely ridiculous as a unit.  Vigilance on grid.   Team Sharp Entry.  Natural Remedy as a passive to blank an instance of status.  Buffs Def/Sp Def/Speed on trainer move, and special attack separately.  Has Gradual Healing.  Moves lower special attack of the foe, and can heal with Giga Drain.  Dawn, as an F2P unit, is hilariously powerful.  Built-in Vigilance in particular is ridiculous for her, because normally you'd go Status Immunity, right?  But rarely do stages apply status more than once, so don't need that.  What about Interference Immunity?  The only one of those that's scary is Trap, and she has Escape Artist on grid.  And Healthy Healing is natural tool.   Dawn is an F2P unit that can freely run a random lucky skill.  Need a Head Start 1 bot for your fast-ramping comps?  Lodge Dawn has it covered.  Need someone to debuff special defense?  Mind Games 2.  Her utility is wildly successful, and she's unparalleled as a Gauntlet support.  But.  CS is understandably worse.  Not that she's bad, but the usual lower stats and lack of Endure can significantly threaten her.  Like it does all the supports. But very little out of Lodge works as well as Dawn, and holds such flexibility.
Morty - Morty has been downright exceptional.  Finally, even if it is a six-turn mess, we have an F2P unit who can cap special attack and crit. Better still, Morty's trainer move provides evasion for survival, and team speed for gauge control.  Full Heal is an odd choice, but it's particularly useful, blanking things like Tornadus' Toxic if you don't pack Antitoxin from grid, or helping recover off Cresselia's Thunder Wave.  Gastly even boosts its own stats with Ominous Wind, which can be hilarious with good rolls.  Where Morty fails is...RNG.  Evasion is a powerful defensive tool, but only when it works.  If you don't dodge, Morty's defenses are not good enough to take repeated hits, and he has no significant healing potential.  And of course, no Endurance, which means he's much better at Gauntlet than CS.  OR IS HE?  Because evasion play as a defensive tool is how BP Janine works, and she's been capable of holding up plenty of teams, based on similar buffing proficiency to Morty here.  She's a little more cohesive for special attackers, but Morty can actually cap crit, which is a massive niche.  This dude is nothing short of S-tier.
A TIER
Blue - Blue has this odd issue of separating the attack buff from the crit buff.  He can cap both, but they're separate moves, so it takes forever.  So he's exactly like Maylene.  Only, where Maylene has Rock Smash, Blue has Stomp with Aggravation.  60% flinch gets a lot more mileage than -1 defense drop.  Interestingly, Blue also gets way more passive healing than Maylene, and even gets Pep Rally on trainer move like her.  So he's a far better survival unit that...still has some stat trouble for CS and no Endure, and lopsided defensive ability like Cynthia but physical instead of special. The main thing that's in Maylene's favor is she has Precision Pals.  But in all other regards, I feel like Blue has her beat.
Elesa - Doom Spider.  Elesa buffs crit and accuracy at the same time, and has special defense separate.  Would've been nice to get crit/sp def, but oh well. She's Cynthia, allocated differently.  But unlike Cynthia, Elesa got good attacks and Endurance.  Elesa's Electroweb actually does help Cakewalk in CS, and Leech Life is fantastic for Gauntlet, though it...often fails to recover much.  Elesa definitely shines more in Gauntlet, but Endure means she can accomplish her goals in CS as well, having quite a few options to choose from when it comes to her focus.   But, as always, stats are a problem.  Even with Endurance, she can drop early, and it...causes some problems.  The lack of serious recovery also means Gauntlet stages wear her down, so while she’s good, she’s not exactly exceptional.
B TIER
Cynthia - I love Cynthia, but this is not her best work.  Max crit buffing in two turns is nice, and the combination of special defense and accuracy is...unique, being able to answer Latias very effectively, and Cresselia maybe.  The problem is, defensively she's wildly lopsided, unable to take physical hits well.  Her healing is good, but stats aren't ideal, and there's no Endure to fall back on (Safety Tether is bad without EX).  And her moves are atrocious.  Had she gotten Mud Slap and Bulldoze, this would be a wildly different discussion.  But instead she got...Rock Tomb and Earthquake.  So she does very little to facilitate Cakewalk in CS, and has a useless 3-bar spam.  Delightful.  Group Water Guard is also strange, because it rarely comes up.  I guess it helps block Surf from the Latis? The ultimate point is that Cynthia has nice tools for some Gauntlet stages, but is woefully lacking in several key aspects to be top tier.
Serena - I once had Serena a lot higher.  She can solo Tapu Bulu, after all.  And has two different debuffs to apply.  Gradual Healing and evasion too.  Even a natural 30% flinch rate on all her attacks.  Serena’s got incredible tools, she must be amazing in Gauntlet!  Haha...ha...Hmm.  See.  She’s still really challenged by Latias.  Her flinch is inconsistent, her debuffs too slow in 3v3 contexts, she has no DPS, and honestly?  Her sync is good, but Kahili can match or exceed it.  In fact, considering 3v3 contexts, Kahili is far above Serena for damage output.  And Serena’s debuffs being Atk/Spd is...limited.  Attack is fine in some contexts, but useless in others, while speed is universally useless as a single-target -1.  Kahili, even with a 50/50 shot, is more useful with Defense Crush.  I will say Serena can perform some really impressive feats at times.  But I’ve also seen her struggle so bad she couldn’t take out the sides in Johto Flying-weak stage on sync when all debuffs were targeted toward the side, including Nanu debuffs.  Meanwhile Kahili just obliterated them.  I’m sorry, this is a Kahili Appreciation Blog now.
Raihan - Raihan is the only one I have 1/5 due to 4* Support Candy being rarer than gold, so forgive me if this feels inaccurate, but having looked at his kit there's a reason he's the last winner for supports.  Raihan's good is buffing both offenses, a widely useful tool that makes him non-specific. Most people want a specific support, and Raihan ain't it.  He's giving whichever offensive stat you need, and in the rare situation you need both, hope you don't need crit.  He also has Endurance, which is wildly significant for CS stages, allowing you to take heavier hits and reach your goal with more certainty than those without.  What bothers me about Raihan, is that all Lodge supports kinda suck in CS regardless because low stats, so he doesn't do any better despite Endurance.  And in Gauntlet, all he gets is Gradual Healing.   There is no other healing in his kit.  And only at 3/5 does he gain a 50% chance of boosting special defense by 1 stage, off Smack Down.  It's really slow.  To make matters worse, he's Sandstorm. Two of his passives are all about Sandstorm, but he only sets it on entry, so it cannot last until first sync.  He just...can't do anything in that time, and if you want to run his Sandstorm specific traits, you need a very specialized and dedicated team.  But.  He did carry C!Serena to a duo clear against Latias, so B-tier it is.
C TIER
Lillie - Lillie is a utility bot.  Wrap, debuffing attack each hit, and Satisfied Snarl 4 to potentially debuff special attack.  Dazzling Gleam makes those debuffs AoE.  And if you're keeping track, you know where this is going. Lillie can have decent damage, especially on-type, but it is wildly contingent on support.  She's slow to debuff, slow to self-buff and still reliant on crit support, and then still often fails the damage checks.  I once brought in Lucian and SC Jasmine to support her, and still, STILL she failed to OHKO center on sync with SEUN.  Lillie's damage is sad, but her utility in Gauntlet is...okay.  Debuffing offenses can keep you alive, at least.  And her sync can ramp up to respectable levels.  It’s not exceptional but she has use.
Marnie - I feel bad ranking Marnie this low, because she is good Poison-type damage.  But Marnie's also kinda hard to use.  Accuracy debuffs are really hard to acquire, especially in CS, but that's the crux of her sync. Her ability to Poison is also split AoE, so she seriously struggles with CS. But...I've also cleared stuff with her.  And frankly, cleared with low-cost tools like BP Janine.  So why only C-tier?  Because Koga.  Koga's sync nuke is super strong, still strongest in the type, and he has Mind Games 9. Marnie, I feel, does not come close to competing with that, even with Sludge Wave as technically higher DPS when single-target.  What keeps Marnie above D-tier is realistically the fact she has Mud Slap, which is useful in Gauntlet contexts. 
Gloria - Gloria’s damage output is ultimately fine, but it’s not doing a whole lot.  The recoil, while fairly limited by Standfast 9, can still add up in Gauntlet contexts, similar to BP Sophocles, leading to some unfortunate situations where she isn’t sustaining well enough.  Gauges were also an intermittent issue, depending on team composition.  I think the biggest mark against Gloria I can make is that her teammates felt like they were doing more.  Molayne pulled more weight in Regirock, and Marshal carried Tapu Bulu and Entei more effectively.  She’s an alright supplementary DPS, I guess is what I’m trying to say.
Sycamore - Sycamore's not terrible, but has stiff competition with Gardenia.  The good is, he's not completely reliant on special attack buffs like she is, isn't reliant on Sun, and has natural immunity to stat debuffs. The bad news is, his DPS is lower, his multipliers harder to achieve, he stills needs 1 point of crit, and his sync nuke requires Poison which means Sludge Bomb which means taking away from DPS.  I have used Sycamore to beat a CS stage.  But getting him to work in Gauntlet was mostly as secondary DPS in a team comp that could handle gauges well enough.  He really can't do main DPS.  He couldn't significantly threaten Regirock's early phases.
N - Okay let me be frank.  N is consistently used, but only as a sleep bot. And I initially thought hey, maybe that should rank higher?  But the more I think about it...no.  It shouldn't.  Because for most, you're just aiming for a 10-win clear in Gauntlet, right?  Sleep in CS sucks ass, this is a fairly Gauntlet-specific skill.  Not even all Gauntlet stages, just some of them. And at 10 wins, you may need, at most, four.  Ramos, Agatha, Tech Victreebel, Tech Venusaur, Tech Exeggutor.  That's five right there.  N is the sixth.  Not, to N's credit, he's more valuable than Victreebel, who cannot cap accuracy.  N's Pinpoint Entry and accuracy tiles do get to a flat 100.  And he's arguably better off than Ramos, Venusaur, and Exeggutor, because he only needs 1MP to hit +4 speed, while they need two.  Agatha would still beat him, though.  The end question is, why is N necessary? This is perhaps unfair, but you need to pull a PokeFair for this, and his utility is just sleep.  His base special attack stat isn't strictly bad, but being a Tech nuker with only 80% bonus damage for on-type and sleep?  That's a nightmare.  And DPS is just Psychic with a 50/50 debuff to special defense; Shauntal outperforms this dude.  N just doesn't have anything beyond sleep, which is useful, but...come on.
D TIER
Rosa - I say this as someone who likes Rosa and Dewott a lot: they are not great.  I'm sorry, this isn't something I feel can be argued. Gauges are constantly an issue, damage output is surprisingly poor unless you're knocking yourself to critical HP, utility is either -1 defense per hit or a 50/50 at a -1 debuff to a random stat only on Aqua Jet which only has a 40% chance to refresh an MP.  She takes three turns of setup and can't cap her physical attack.   Rosa's kind of a mess.  I like using her, but I cannot in good conscience call her good.  A lot of matches where she has theoretical utility in Gauntlet don't work out, and she downright struggles without serious support in CS.  Her debuffs are just too slow to get damage moving without a proper Leer/Screech bot and someone to handle buffing beyond crit.  It’s just a lot more work than you want.
Silver - If Rosa's bad, Silver's bad, because they are the same person.   Silver's damage is a little more accessible due to not needing to cause himself to bleed out, but Silver has the same gauge issues, the same limited DPS, the same limited utility, and most distressing, poor self-setup. +4 atk, +2 speed, +1 crit is a nightmare, I'm sorry.   Unlike Sycamore, he can't get Team Sharp Entry and call it a day.  He basically needs full buffing support.  The only thing that puts him above Rosa, and it is not by much, is Aggravation Waterfall, and Hostile Environment 3 Ice Punch. Silver has disruptive effects, but only at a 40% rate each.  Which you would think put him above her!  But these traits are awful.  You ever tried to rely on a 40% flinch rate for a Gauntlet stage?  It does not work.  And the only time you’d want that much Freeze stacking on your damage dealer whose focus is Water, is when he’s supporting a team with it.  Which, usually, means Uxie and Cobalion, given the status.  Do not fall for this.  Freeze is so painfully useless in these fights.  Sure you can use it to stall, but it’s the same as flinch just it’s freeze instead, and it’s still the inconsistent 40%.  Eggmons have better disruptive ability than this, and usually with two uses of X Speed, so their gauges are better.  God, I’m comparing him to an eggmon.  I wish I could say he was a powerhouse sync nuker but...he’s not.  It’s okay.  Not really that good, even.
F TIER
May - I once called May the worst Lodge unit, because Water Striker and who needs those?  This remains true.  However, May's kit is...not terrible with one caveat.  While on-type, I have seen May perform some pretty impressive feats.  Her damage gets pretty respectable.  Off-type?  May is a mess.  She struggles wildly to apply anything close to good damage, and CS is a nightmare for her.  Yes, even on-type is rough.  I overall kinda like May, but I do still think she’s one of the least impressive options here. Also, as a general issue with her and the D-tiers.  For primarily damage-focused units.  Cyrus exists.  Hydro Pump wildly outclasses them, with far less setup, far less support, and way better gauge control.  So why in god’s name would I ever use May, knowing that Cyrus just wildly outperforms her?
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tbos-main · 2 years
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hella never love an anchor + kiva and any of her kids
so fucking true *cracks knuckles*
okay so before i get into the song let me quickly go into just WHY motherhood is such a big thing for kiva and why it's so big for her character, because it's not just 'she is the MC's mum of course it's gonna be a big part of her' it's actually so so much more.
kiva's relationship with motherhood and how she views herself as a mother, particularly through a lens of comparing herself to her own mother, is fascinating and heartbreaking to me. growing up as a princess meant kiva was not allowed to get particularly close to anyone, simply because she was a royal, but the harasaeons are also renowned for being an incredibly close unit. it links to the scarring and their aineanums, and the combination of that and them being the ruling family. it seriously distinguishes them from the people they are surrounded by, and so naturally, they turn inwards. it used to be their greatest strength because they are a really cohesive family unit, but when abusive tendencies started polluting that intensity, it became toxic, and a cycle was created because regardless of that toxicity, they had no one else.
for kiva, her only baseline for motherhood is her own mother. she does not know enough about what other children went through to take notes from it. all she knows is that lugalia was a bad mother, and she does not want to be like her, but she also does not know what makes a good mother. she is desperately trying to figure out how to love a child when she was never actually shown, and naturally, it leads to gaps in that love, mistakes that aren't her fault but still hurt her children regardless.
so she has three children; lilla, rin and drako. of all of them, drako is the only one she can love properly, and as cruel as it is, it's literally because of trial and error. in that sense, herines was like a stepping stone for her in her journey of motherhood, and that dissmissal from his mother so early on explains a lot of his behaviour.
On some level I think I always understood That these hands of mine were clumsy not clever And I tried to do the best that I could But try as I might I could not bring myself to hold you
this verse here really reminds me of kiva and rin's relationship. one of kiva's greatest strengths is her ability to highlight her own weaknesses. to her deathbed, lugalia made it her mission to show kiva everything that was wrong with her. she faulted her gratuitously, but kiva didn't give into it. she realised at quite a young age that she couldn't meet her mother's expectations, and instead of letting it fester within her, she instead met her weaknesses head on, acknowledged them, and learnt to grow from them. what her mother called being a pushover, kiva grew into gentleness etc. this verse shows that accepting side of kiva. she knows the mistakes she's made, knows that she hasn't been clever in her love, but rather clumsy. she knows that she did wrong by herines, and it almost makes it worse, because here is where kiva's acceptance stops being a good thing, because instead of fighting it, she simply accepted that she could not bring herself to hold herines, that she could not love him as she ought to have done. she did not fight it
It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest With this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful There is love that doesn't have a place to rest But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulder
On some level I think I always understood That a ship could never really love an anchor So I did the only thing that I could And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbour
however, while kiva is many things, she isn't cold. she knows she should love herines at the same time that she knows she doesn't (she obviously does love him, but it's to an extent, so for easiness i'll word it like this). it's a secret, something she hates about herself, and she genuinely thinks the best thing to do for him is to keep her distance. she fears what would happen if he came too close, if he found out. she doesn't want him to blame himself. it's a classic example of a mother whose own mother was abusive, because she so desperately doesn't want to repeat the cycle, but was never given the tools to build something else. every home she builds collapses in every storm. so she lets rin go, pushes him away, keeps her distance, and inadvertently does far more damage. she sees herself and all of her baggage in regards to not just lugalia, but her complicated relationship with rin in regards to lilla, as an anchor, and she genuinely thinks she's cutting him loose of that so he can sail free
There are times where I still wonder about you You are someone I have loved but never known And you'll never see the reasons I had For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you
I am selfish I am broken I am cruel I am all the things they might have said to you Do you ever think of me and my two hands And wondered why They never soothed your fevers And wondered why They never tied your shoes And wondered why They never held you gently And wondered why They never had the chance to lose you
this is very obviously more relevant to lilla. kiva sees drako as 'the only one she got right', and it's a horrible thing to think, to be so aware of her failures towards her other children, but like i said before, kiva's awareness is one of her best features, it is only her acceptance of what she sees that is more rooted in the stubbornness she grew in the face of decades of abuse. kiva loves lilla. all the love for a firstborn that she withheld from rin, she still feels for lilla, but she does not know her. all she knows is that lilla is okay. she even called back her hummingbirds the moment she confirmed lilla was alive and being taken care of, because just like with rin, kiva is convinced lilla is better far away from her mother. for lilla, it's more obvious, more literal, because lilla would be in danger had she stayed with kiva. still, it does not make it easy, and the guilt at knowing she had to abandon lilla, had to send her away to strangers, that lilla's first days in this world were bloody and full of anguish, haunts her. she feels an immense lack of closure in regards to lilla, and it's something that gets resolved pretty sadly in the series.
all kiva ever wanted was to be a good mother. all kiva ever wanted was a good mother. through both, she got neither, but she tried so, so hard.
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sapphicvampyy · 2 years
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Continued my killing eve finale thoughts, this was bad writing because they just killed her, and she didn’t need to she could have been happy with the love of her life, this felt personal like Eve was being punished for being with V like the writers snarkly saying of course this was also going to happen it didn’t need to be like this they could have been together and been happy, this was just getting this stupid morality shoved down our throats and you know what I’m fucking tired of it, the same shit happened in I care a lot, the 100, women characters always get punished the men characters never get punished why the fuck is walter white still alive??? But Villanelle is dead, women characters and specifically queer/ lesbian/ sapphic women characters get punished very very harshly and this is an on going trend, fictional men do so much bad and get happy endings but of course sweet Villanelle couldn’t, because why? Are they afraid women will see this strong powerful women and think they too can be strong and powerful and rise up against the bullshit that men bring? That how dare a character who is so unencumbered by men get a happy a ending with the woman she loves, how stupid of us for even thinking this is a possibility this is absolute fucking bullshit imagine pouring your heart into a character for four years and having writers that don’t know how to write, I said what I said, give this piss ass shit ending. And this is a trend I’ve seen recently I think writing is getting worse particularly in the tv show area, the only really big film example I can think of this is The Last Jedi but anyways it’s like writers equate satisfying cohesive storytelling with fan service they are not the same thing AT ALL if you leave a bread crumbs and some fans figure it out guess what you’ve done told a cohesive fucking story, but lately there’s been this bullshit trope of shocking the audience and anything to shock the audience and it doesn’t make fucking sense for the story, and it doesn’t add anything it’s just shock factor a cheap gimmick that cheapens the writing I think this of excessive gore as well shock factor cheapens the project that’s my personal opinion and in my opinion if you have to rely on shock factor your not a very creative writer, if the only way you can heighten stakes is by killing off a character you need to go back to the drawing board im sick of this aversion to happy endings in storytelling not everything needs to have a happy ending, but some things do and it doesn’t cheapen the story to have a happy ending but guess what shock factor does. I don’t know how to make these writers know how to tell better satisfying stories. Let alone with queer women characters who always get punished im just sick of it I will always have villanelle and love her and she will be there for me and the show but this ending what an utter betrayal to the fans, no one liked this ending I remember reading a review in season 2 about how they should have just let Eve give into villanelle then, and they have always been afraid to do it and it does read a little homophobic and they most definitely did do the bury your gays trope, this character meant so much to so many people and she deserved better and we deserved better. And villaneve deserved better. I’m still heartbroken. Learn how to write. You know what we should get articles written about this we should make a stink about this I don’t know how else to get these writers to learn that bury your gays isn’t cute and having a character that’s been through so much trauma just be killed off so brutally isn’t okay especially when men characters get away with everything, looks like in fiction that’s the case as well. We gotta let them know we’re fucking tired of this as women as queer women, as queers we want happy endings and of course don’t just keep a character alive because there queer but they didn’t need to do that for the story they could have ended on the hug but they chose not too now of course don’t harass those god awful writers or whoever made that choice I’m sure some more than
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