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wife-of-all-dilfs · 7 months

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pretty fixation, wicked temptation | b. blake

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summary: season six - one-hundred-and-twenty-five years in cryosleep made both you and bellamy crave each other’s touch, but you need a place to satisfy your urges without disruption. perhaps a new planet would do the trick. and what better way to heighten the anticipation than with a little challenge?

warnings: porn with plot, sexual crying??, teasing/taunting, mild gore, mild exhibitionism, murphy being a cockblock, mild size kink, mild bdsm, begging

note: this is the first one-shot/smut I’ve ever written so I kinda went overboard, but I promise it’s worth it in the end. you can imagine a different season of bellamy if you want (fuck you) but I personally think he’s extremely hot in season 6.

word count: 16.7k

“…I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been,” an aged Monty spoke on the monitor. “Be the good guys. May we meet again.”

You stared out the window of Eligius IV in awe, arms crossed over your chest whilst taking in the view of the planet you would soon call home. Plant Alpha. A place where, hopefully, everyone could find redemption. For you, it would be a place where you would find peace with your friends and family. And your boyfriend, Bellamy Blake.

“I know this is a lot to process,” Bellamy’s deep voice spoke to the group. “Take an hour, and then meet in the mess. We need to game this out.”

A few people in the room had a short dispute, but you tuned out their bickering, gaze locked on the view outside. Everyone began to disperse, leaving the room to gather their thoughts about what the future held for the last remnants of humanity. Everyone but you and Bellamy.

Your vision shifted from focusing on Planet Alpha to watching Bellamy walk towards you in the window’s reflection. He had changed drastically since the day you and the other Ark prisoners were sent to the ground. His body was broader, and more muscular due to the unrelenting battles he fought on Earth. His arms were bigger, stronger, and probably capable of carrying the weight of two people at once. And his hands, god, his hands—they were your ultimate weakness. They were much bigger compared to your own; his fingers were thicker and longer as well, and the things he could do with them… indescribable.

He now had a short, dark beard that circled his mouth and sparsely covered the sides of his jaw. You always loved the way it tickled your face whenever he kissed you and when it rubbed against your inner thighs whilst he went down on you.

What had changed the most was his mentality, which somehow made you fall even deeper in love with him. Bellamy Blake may have been twenty-three when you first met him, but he was then still just a boy. Now, he was a man.

“You okay?” he asked, his arm snaking around your waist as his towering frame stood beside you.

Leaning into his body, you both soaked in the rays of the two suns shining through the ship’s window.

“Just hoping we don’t make the same mistakes we did back on Earth,” you spoke. “There are a lot of people on this ship in need of a second chance.”

Bellamy chuckled. “Yeah. More like a fifth chance.”

You smiled, humming in agreement.

“This time will be different,” he continued, eyes narrowed at the planet in front of them. “We can’t keep making the same mistakes without learning from them. We won’t have bombs, or missiles, or war. I’ll make sure of it; if not for the last of humanity, then for you.”

You turned your head to look at him. Such a softie.

“I ever tell you how much I love you?” You reached one of your crossed arms across your torso and rested it on his which was cupping your waist.

In response, Bellamy’s hold tightened just a little bit more, causing your heart to fumble from the affectionate gesture. “On a few occasions.”

However short the one-hundred-and-twenty-five years in cryosleep felt to your mind, your body could feel the effects of lacking physical touch for such a long time. Bellamy’s touch. Apparently, he felt the exact same way.

“I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in over a century.” His voice became soft. He turned your body to face him with his back now facing the window. Dark brown eyes gazed down at you with an intensity only he could create, sending a sudden desire to let him absolutely ravage you right where you stood. His free hand reached up to your face and gently stroked the side of your cheek, the other now caressing the exposed skin of your waist. “Or touched you.”

Closing your eyes, you focused on the areas in which his skin connected with yours. Having been in a relationship with him for a few years, his touch became a familiar sensation. Despite that, on a purely physical level, your body had forgotten the pleasure-filled heights to which he could take you. Everything seemed new again, like the very first time he touched you.

And no matter the fact that time in cryosleep seemed like it passed instantaneously, neither of you could deny the obvious pining your bodies felt for one another.

You stepped closer, hands moving to rest on his chest. The distance between your bodies closed and you whispered, “Or felt me.”

His hands stilled, realising what you had meant. He leaned backwards, enough to get a good view of the look in your eyes. It was something deep and hungry for release. Sure, you’ve both had sex plenty of times; you’ve fucked rough and fast, made love sweet and slow—however many other variations there were, you’d done it—but Bellamy had never seen your desire for him appear as powerful as this.

Your eyes were swirling with a dark passion, like rolling waves in desperate need of a crest. Your cheeks were flushed, pupils so dilated your irises were almost obscured, and lips reddened and becoming plump even despite having made no contact with his own yet. It was no doubt a mirror of what you were feeling inside.

He took in a long deep breath, eyebrows furrowed as he took in your appearance, trying to steady his heartbeat which was raging out of control. You looked so beautiful. All the blood in his body drained to the lower half of him, leaving him light-headed and fuzzy, lust being the only thing to fill the contents of his mind. Bellamy could never stop lusting after you, he had just learned to control it. A one-hundred-year wait seemed like a perfectly acceptable reason to let loose a little.

“Fuck,” was all he said before his lips came crashing down onto yours.

It didn’t start slow, but rather fast and desperate. So desperate. Even so, your mouth moved in sync with his, alternating between sucking in quick breaths of air, kissing his soft yet rough lips, and allowing him to run his tongue over your own. Your hands moved up into his pushed-back hair, fingers delving between his brown waves to give a small tug, pulling a groan from inside him that buzzed against your lips.

He pulled you closer to his body with strong arms wrapped around your back, the sensitivity between your thighs coming into contact with his hardness. The material of your pants rubbing against you only enhanced the shiver-inducing sensation.

You reigned your focus back onto his lips. His mouth was hot against yours, unrelenting, catching your lips with his between each frantic breath of air. His tongue rolled over your own, so intricate and possessive as it pushed into your mouth.

Before you knew it, his hands had moved to the backs of your thighs and lifted you into his arms; your lips never disconnected. This was a movement you had both performed many times, so it wasn’t done without skill. He took a few steps forward before placing you on the control bench behind you. You hoped there were no important buttons beneath you that would cause End of Humanity 4.0.

His mouth moved from yours and down to your jaw, cupping his hand on the side of your neck to keep your head steady. You couldn’t tell if it was a moan or a sigh that escaped you. Maybe it was a mix of both, but whatever it was, it egged him on further. He had moved down to your neck, sucking and nipping at the soft, delicate skin. This time you were sure it was a moan you let out.

He curled his hand around your neck just below your jaw, careful not to apply too much pressure, but just enough to remain in control. He loved to be in control; he also knew how much you enjoyed it too. You loved how small he made you feel compared to him, how he could dominate you without an ounce of effort.

Your legs and his were in between one another like two puzzle pieces fit together, his knee between your thighs and pressing against your clit without him even realising it. Grabbing onto his shoulders for support, you pushed yourself further onto his knee, beginning to grind yourself against him as he continued to press kisses to your neck.

“Eager, huh?” his voice vibrated against your skin.

Now he knew.

Having realised what you were doing, he pushed further onto you, heightening the pressure as you rolled your hips against him. Your head fell back. It had been so long since your body had experienced such pleasure; you knew it wouldn’t take much to reach climax. Not that it mattered. It always took you both a few rounds before you were too exhausted to move anymore. Sometimes, even fatigue couldn’t stop you two.

After deciding enough damage was done to your neck, he returned to your mouth, this time slower and more sensual.

You could have easily come undone the way you were going, grinding yourself against him but knew it would be nothing compared to the release given by his hands. Greedy as you were, you wanted—needed—more, and you knew he would never deny such a request. Your satisfaction was his own after all.

“Bellamy,” you breathed against his lips. “Touch me.”

His forehead came to rest against your own, he too breathless from the heat of the situation.

“Didn’t know you were into exhibitionism, princess,” he spoke lowly with a smirk.

“Who said I was?”

“Well, technically, we have a whole world watching us.”

You rolled your eyes, a playful grin stretching across your lips only to be intersected by a short gasp as you felt his hand slip through the waistband of your pants and press against your clit.

The second you felt his fingers apply pressure and begin to move, the door to the room burst open.

“Hey, you guys need… Jesus Christ!”

Bellamy’s hand left you quicker than it came, or quicker than you came to be more exact. The both of you jumped up from your positions and turned to see Murphy standing at the door, eyes squeezed shut.

“You ever heard of knocking, Murphy,” Bellamy grumbled.

“It’s the fucking comms room!” he complained. “Just–we need you guys out in the mess hall. Now. Oh my god.”

He made quick work of leaving the room, mumbling something about rather having a missile dropped on him than ever having to witness that again.

You looked at Bellamy who seemed to share the same flustered state as you.

He blew out a stabilising breath and placed a hand behind your back. “Come on, we should see what they want.”

Still slightly trembling, you nodded, allowing him to guide the both of you out of the room as you attempted to fix your dishevelled hair. After walking together down a few hallways in tense silence, you both reached the mess hall to see the group sitting around a table, discussing something quietly among themselves. Among them was Murphy, who overdramatically shuddered at the sight of you two.

Before you could walk over, Bellamy grabbed your upper arm, leaning down until his hair brushed against your temple and he whispered, “I’m not done with you.”

He slid past you and walked towards everyone else, acting casual as they all burst into conversation. A minute or two passed until you had regained enough composure to join the group.

**********

It had been about two hours since the incident in the comms room. A plan had been set in place regarding their journey to the ground. One minute, you were safe and sound on Eligius IV, and the next, you and a small group were descending into the atmosphere of Planet Alpha in a ship.

There was a giant, wall-length window on the front of the ship that revealed the outside surroundings once you dipped below the clouds. This world was… otherworldly. Literally. The largest sun bathed the world in a constant orange glow, and the surface was covered in an abundance of vibrant green trees that sat atop various hills and rocky snow-covered mountains. All the clouds were a light orange; the sky was more pink and orange than blue. It was like they had entered a landscape painting depicting heaven.

Everyone seemed to share the same look of astonishment.

Shaw turned in his seat to face everyone. “Boys and girls, meet Planet Alpha.”

With a shudder, the ship finally planted itself on the ground, the machine hum cutting off as the rockets stopped firing. Belt buckles clicked as everybody stood from their seats, moving in front of the door, awaiting its opening. You looked beside you to see Bellamy with that same tiny grin he had the first time they opened the dropship doors. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. Technically, it was well over a lifetime ago.

He pulled down the lever and the door began to fall open. A gust of breathable fresh air wafted in your face and you inhaled deeply. It was sweet and unpolluted. Everyone remained still as they took in the incredible scenery. There were no words to describe it.

“Anyone got anything better than ‘we’re back bitches’?” Miller jested.

“Yeah,” you spoke. “Let’s not bite the apple this time.”

There were a few chuckles, a few sentimental words exchanged, along with a few heated words spoken between Shaw and Clarke. Some people were still upset over her betrayal back on Earth. What they were yet to realise was that this was not Earth, this was someplace new, a place for second chances and new beginnings.

They were supposed to be looking for a beacon that depicted a safe place for them to take up residence. Shaw, along with his tracking device, began heading in the beacon’s direction and soon enough everyone else followed suit.

You took a few moments for yourself to take in the surroundings and silently thank Monty and Harper for their sacrifice. A bittersweet smile sat on your lips and a single tear slipped down your cheek. A Garden of Eden this was, and they’d be damned if they let another serpent in.

Without even realising it, Bellamy had stood beside you, his arm wrapping around your shoulder before pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head.

“We’ll do better this time,” he reassured as if he could read your mind.

You turned your head and pressed a quick kiss to his shoulder.

His eyes crinkled as a soft smile grew on his lips. “Come on, let's catch up to the others.”

And so, you did.

Following Bellamy until you caught up with the rest of the group, you began the journey to the beacon, trekking through the new and undisturbed forest. Though it was beautiful, you still had a lingering fear of what might lurking in the thick clusters of trees. Maybe there were Grounders here too. At least they were human beings with actual consciences. This was an entirely new planet in an entirely new solar system so there could be animals or beings they had never encountered before.

All you could do was pray you weren’t on the bottom of the food chain.

An hour or two passed before the forest began to thin out and give way to a lake of pristine blue water surrounded by overlooking mountains.

“Looks like we found a water source,” Bellamy spoke as they stepped onto the tan sand. “We’ll camp here tonight and continue on at first light.”

They were confronted wave after wave with the planet’s beauty without end. It almost seemed too perfect. As everyone was distracted by the new view, Murphy began walking towards the water, removing a piece of clothing with each step, completely disregarding the fact that he had healing bullet holes on his body.

You stepped forward to stop him just as the others did. “Murphy, wait, your–”

He glanced back at you, cutting your sentence off. “Comms room!”

That shut you up, as well as causing your face to redden intensely.

Clarke stepped beside you, watching as Murphy took off his shirt and stepped into the water, diving beneath the surface. “What was that about?”

“Uh, nothing.” You side-eyed Bellamy who was shifting his weight, clearly uncomfortable.

Soon enough, Murphy had resurfaced, his wounds bleeding and turning the water around him a faint rust colour. Not that he cared.

“Come on in, the water’s fine!” he shouted.

Emori was next to enter the water, though not entirely at her own will. It was nice to see her and Murphy enjoying themselves, but who said they could have all the fun?

Without a second thought, you unclipped your backpack and dropped it to the ground, tying your hair into a low bun with the band on your wrist. You lifted your long-sleeve shirt over your head, leaving you only in your low-cut tank top. You had thought it would have been Bellamy who was first to notice, except it was Clarke whose eyes were now trained on your chest.

Brows raised, you motioned to your eyes with two fingers. “Eyes up here, Clarke.”

She cleared her throat and mumbled an apology, focusing back on Emori and Murphy.

You walked over to Bellamy, standing beside him as he watched the scene in front of him. His attention quickly shifted to you as your hip brushed against his hand.

“What d’you say, Blake?” You unbuttoned your jeans, pushing them down to your ankles and stepping out. “Up for a swim?”

His lips parted as he stared down at your half-naked figure. Before he had a chance to answer, you were making your way down to the water with a tantalising grin. You were nothing if not a tease and he knew that firsthand. A little extra sway in your hips was all it took for him to start removing his own backpack and undressing his upper body.

The water had reached up to your hips before a pair of hands abruptly grabbed onto your waist. A short shriek escaped your throat before you were tackled beneath the water. Resurfacing, you wiped the water from your eyes, coming face-to-face with an amused Bellamy.

“Asshole!” You attempted to push his chest, but he didn’t budge, instead, he wrapped his arms around your waist again and began dragging you both further out.

“So easily riled up,” he teased with a smirk.

Sighing defeatedly, you leaned into his grasp, allowing him to keep you both afloat. Bellamy could just touch the lake floor, so you knew if he let you go, you would be drowning. Swimming wasn’t exactly anyone’s strong suit, so you just hoped you hadn’t done anything previously to piss him off.

Your legs curled around his torso. At first, the action was innocent, but then you realised that the little performance you made on the beach had consequences. Hard consequences that he seemed to be very aware of. Eyes blown wide with surprise, you squeezed your legs around his hips, grounding yourself onto him.

He grunted softly, tightening his hold on you. “You do that again and I won’t care if everyone is watching.”

The deep sense of possession enveloped in his voice sent warm tingles running down your spine, replacing the coldness of the water surrounding your body. Knowing him, he probably wasn’t lying either, especially given both of your rising desires for each other. For a split second, you were ready to test the legitimacy of his threat, but rationality was quick to jump in.

As you loosened your hold around him, you were unsure whether the look he gave you was of praise or displeasure. If you couldn’t do that, then you would at least take advantage of the opportunity for another type of intimacy.

Placing a hand on either side of his jaw, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his which he was quick to reciprocate. Droplets of fresh water dripped from the wet strands across his forehead, mixing between your skin and his, and alleviating the heat of each other’s desire.

His hands ran up and down your back underneath your saturated tank top, leaving a trail of warmth in his wake. Over and over, you kissed him and then you’d take a split second to get some air. It quickly became a pattern yet each time your lips met became more and more exhilarating.

The moment was rapidly becoming more fervent with each passing second. Soon enough, you were clinging onto each other, the water rippling from your bodies moving ever-so-slightly against one another to create some kind of friction. You could hear Bellamy’s breathing become quick and uneven, just like your own. You could feel his tongue glide across your bottom lip as if to knock before entering. And just before you could let him in, you were pulled apart…

“Hey. Hey! None of that shit,” Murphy demanded from a distance.

Bellamy pulled away first, visibly frustrated as he turned his head to your interrupter.

You simply pinched the bridge of your nose and groaned, one hand still holding onto his shoulder.

“Shut up, Murphy!” you and Bellamy shouted in unison.

Even Emori was quick to come to your aid. “Come on, John, they were just kissing.”

“You haven’t seen the things I’ve seen,” you heard him murmur to her.

**********

The sky was blanketed in darkness long after the two suns dipped below the horizon. Insects were chirping, a small fire was crackling in the centre of the group, and tiny waves were cresting on the shore. You were leaning against a log of driftwood, legs extended in front of you as you gazed at the giant, ringed planet in the sky, its purple and pink hue reflecting on the lake’s surface.

Peace. Or so it would have been if not for the chaos running rampant in your mind.

Bellamy’s lips. Bellamy’s hands. Bellamy’s fingers. Your eyes fluttered shut. Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy–

A loud pop from the fire sounded which startled you from your thoughts.

Opening your eyes, you looked around the camp. Everybody else seemed to be in their own little worlds too, unable to shake the incredulity of knowing they were now on an alien planet. Clarke was on her back, gazing up at the foreign sky above; Jackson was enthusing about the unfamiliar wildlife. Echo simply admired the tall mountains that encompassed the lake, an expression of gratitude reflecting on her face. You would feel the same way too if your hormones weren’t raging like that of a teenage boy’s.

To add fuel to the fire—quite literally—Bellamy was bent over the flames, cyan blue sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and feeding more wood to the blaze. His dark curls were pushed back from his face apart from a few stray strands. His skin was shining from the humidity, sending your mind spiralling into a visualisation of the times he was on top of you, all sweaty and hitting that eye-rolling spot inside of you over and over.

You sighed, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. This was ridiculous; he was your boyfriend and yet every time he was near, your body responded to him like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Something on your mind?”

He had sat down beside you, your shoulders now pushed up against one another.

More like ‘someone’, you thought.

“Nope.” You crossed your legs over one another, thighs squeezing together in the hopes of providing some kind of relief. You couldn’t even bear to look at him, afraid that your willpower would come crumbling to ruins. “No thoughts up here.”

Bellamy eyed your visibly flustered state, one cocky eyebrow raised.

His hand moved onto your leg. “Liar. I know your tells. And this,” he murmured whilst squeezing the inner plush of your thigh, “is one of them.”

Finally, your gaze met his, almost like you were in a standoff. He knew how much you were suffering. Mostly because he was too.

“Bellamy,” you warned.

He turned back to the fire, slowly kneading your inner thigh. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Uh oh.”

The flickering flames reflecting in his dark brown irises turned them a blazing orange but did nothing to alleviate the darkness that was sitting just behind his eyes. Taunting him probably wasn’t the brightest idea at that moment.

Then again, it also held the potential to be a fantastic idea. You knew how he got when pushed to his limits.

“Seems like we can’t go five minutes without being interrupted,” he began, curling his hand around your thigh. “So, I figured we may as well turn it into a challenge.”

“A challenge?” you asked, moving your hand on top of his and taking control.

He nodded.

Slowly, you began to guide his hand further up your thigh, inch by inch. As expected, he showed no resistance. You could even see the imprint on the front of his pants which were now tight for the third time that day. “And what exactly does this challenge involve?”

As you got closer to the destination you craved most, your movements became slower, and more delayed, contrasting to the increasing pace of your chest rising and falling. Your shoulders pushed back against the driftwood, your body reclining just a tiny bit further as you stared up at him, lips parted.

Bellamy watched his hand travel beneath your own, completely transfixed. “We, uh, see who can last longer without…” he trailed off as your thighs clamped tighter around him.

The side of his hand brushed against your clit through the material of your pants and your breath hitched. Thank god everyone else was too distracted to notice the situation unfolding before them. The fire was probably doing you both some favours as well.

“Without…?” you coaxed him on.

You pressed him firmer against you, rolling your hips in small circles to create the sensation you’d been longing for. He didn’t move, only allowing you to use him for your own pleasure. The muscles in your stomach flexed as tingles quickly spread across the lower half of your body, from your toes to beneath Bellamy’s hand. You’d give anything to let him give you your release then and there, but you knew an audience wasn’t exactly favourable.

That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the build-up.

God, Bellamy was right. You really were into exhibitionism.

By the way his brows were pulled together and his eyes looked almost pained, you swore he was about to come undone just at the sight of you.

He clenched his jaw and managed to ground out, “Without touching each other.”

Your eyes flickered between his, showing no sign of stopping your movements even when he finally managed to get out his explanation. You slightly bucked your hips forward, pulling him in further to which he inhaled sharply. Truth be told, Bellamy was the most stubborn person you had ever met, excluding his sister, Octavia. But there was one thing that could overrule Bellamy’s unwavering resolve, and that was you. Hell, on multiple occasions all you had to do was ask and he would be on his knees, mouth between your thighs in the blink of an eye, so he should have known the minute he announced his little game, you had already won.

“Okay,” you whispered with an innocent smile.

Within seconds, you had shot up onto your feet, now hovering over him.

Instinctively, he too moved into a standing position as if under threat. He stood so close that your torso was nearly touching his.

“What are you doing?” He leaned in close, voice low to prevent attracting any attention from the others.

“Um, winning?”

He scoffed. “Yeah, right. I’ve gone over a century without you; I can last a little longer.”

You took one step closer until you were flush against him. How could you not? It’s not like he’d expect you to make it easy on him.

“Only a little? Oh, come on Blake, have a bit of faith in yourself. You can last longer than that.” You looked him up and down. “I would know.”

He peered down at you, eyes half-lidded, and hummed a chuckle, one that was meant to say, ‘You are in way over your head, princess’. Maybe you were or maybe he was. What you both knew for sure was how the game was going to end, and despite your determination to win, that moment couldn’t come soon enough.

His body left yours and he backed away, a smug smirk resting on his face. He retreated over to Murphy and Emori, sitting on the log beside them and began engaging in their conversation.

You turned to face the fire, letting out a shaky breath you were hoping he couldn’t hear. It had become quiet now, the surrounding area seemed different compared to just a few minutes prior, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. The small waves were still rolling onto the shore; the campfire was still crackling.

Something was missing.

You scanned the area for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing.

“Ow!”

Your eyes snapped to the sudden voice. Clarke was sitting on a plank of wood, rubbing the back of her neck with her brows furrowed together.

Walking over, you sat on a log adjacent to her. “What happened?”

“Oh, just got bit by a bug.” She gestured to the dead insect lying on the wood beside her.

It had big, round eyes, and wings like a fly. Wouldn’t have been a cause for concern if it weren’t the size of your palm and had a tail like a scorpion.

“Some bug.”

That’s when you realised—all the insects had stopped chirping.

Almost on command, Jackson and Miller stumbled over to the campfire, gaining everyone’s attention as Jackson rambled on about how he had captured the same bug in a glass jar and its behaviour had randomly become erratic. People began rising from their seats and crowding to watch the insect smash itself against the glass. Clarke and you shared a concerned look.

The air, which once was silent and peaceful, began to buzz like you were all surrounded by a cluster of beehives. Reality was much worse.

“What the hell is that?” Emori spoke.

As if to answer her question, the sky suddenly filled with hundreds, no, thousands of winged insects, which seemed to follow each other in groups that formed large patterns in the air. You were willing to bet your life on them being the same as the one that bit Clarke. Great—man-eating bugs.

“Swarm.”

“Everybody cover up! We’re heading to the beacon now!” Bellamy commanded.

You snatched your backpack from the ground, pulling out a black cotton scarf before slinging the bag straps over your shoulders. Not long passed before the others did the same and you were all running for your lives through the dense thicket of trees. Branches snagged on your clothes, shredding them to bits as you struggled not to run face-first into a tree. You wouldn’t be the first to do it, though…. Murphy.

Your breathing was becoming irregular as your body pushed to its limits. As awful as it sounded, when Emori tripped over a fallen branch and the group had to stop and help her, you praised the lord. Everyone huddled together, the bugs now surrounding the group, flying past and leaving bite marks on your bodies. Luckily, Clarke had the idea to light a flare.

“They hate fire! Light the flares!” she shouted.

Someone came running toward you from where Emori had tripped, placing a hand on each of your upper arms. Upon seeing their eyes, you knew it was Bellamy. He wordlessly scanned your features for any wounds, his gaze a mixture of concentration and worry. You nodded as if to tell him you were alright, and he did the same.

After the ten seconds you were provided to catch your breath passed, you were on the move again, the flares now protecting the group from the swarm. The trees were becoming less and less, and the ground under your feet had turned into a wide gravel path that ended at a large field of crops surrounded by metal rod towers.

You continued running forward, following the others as the field grew closer. In front was Shaw, who was multi-tasking between tracking the beacon on his device and leading the group to safety.

“Here! The beacon’s here!” he shouted.

Just as he passed through the towers that bordered the crop field, a bolt of what looked like lightning struck him. He was sent flying back into the group with a yell, landing at your feet.

“Shaw!” You crouched down, observing the minor burns that were littered across his cheeks and forehead.

He groaned, pulling himself back onto his feet with your assistance. “I’m alright.”

Jackson rushed to his side, immediately pulling out his med pack and assessing his wounds. The damage wasn’t lethal but if they couldn’t find a way to get through to the other side, they would have more to be worried about than burnt flesh.

Clarke was already searching for an answer to their escape and once again, she found it.

“It’s radiation.” She looked around as the bugs began to circle them, blocking their long-distance view. “We need to get through. It won’t affect me.”

Before anyone could stop her, she was running through the shield-like fence.

“Clarke, wait!”

“Get back here!”

To everyone’s surprise, she made it out the other side without a scratch. But how was everyone else supposed to get through without Nightblood?

You felt a warm hand slip into your own, offering a small amount of comfort. You didn’t need to look to know whose it belonged.

“Clarke, the tower—its Eligius tech. You need the failsafe code to turn off the shield!” Shaw yelled out. “Four-seven-eight-one-five!”

Exhaling a sigh of relief, you squeezed Bellamy’s hand. There’s a failsafe code.

Clarke rushed to one of the metal towers, opened the control panel and punched in the code. The energy sources atop each tower dissipated, signalling the shield's termination.

“It’s down! Come on!”

Murphy was the first to pass through, dragging Emori behind him. Copying his actions, Bellamy tugged you forward, the both of you passing through the towers together. Once everyone made it through, Clarke powered up the defence again, causing the swarm of insects to disintegrate upon meeting the shield’s radiation bolts.

No one said a word. Instead, they used the time to catch their breaths, some laying on the ground and others dropping to their knees. You tugged the covering off your head and placed your hands on your thighs for support. Multiple strands of hair fell around your face as you bent over, trying to replace the air your lungs lost, a few strings of curses spilling out in between.

Bellamy, who was so inconceivably fit that his breathing was already slow and even, placed a hand on your shoulder. “You okay?”

Lifting a shaky arm from your leg, you gave him the thumbs up.

He tenderly massaged your shoulder and scanned the group to make sure everyone else was alright.

“What the hell was that?” Echo huffed.

**********

Night cycles on Planet Alpha operated very differently compared to Earth—darkness held the sky for a good five hours before the two suns rose again, much unlike the twelve hours everyone was accustomed to back on Earth. That and this planet sent man-eating swarms of insects whenever night fell. Or so you assumed.

The suns peaked through the distant treetops; orange beams of light were spread across the fields you had walked. A few hours had gone by since you first stepped through the radiation shields. A few hours of walking got you and the others atop a small mountain that seemed to be centred within the large circle of towers, providing a good bird's eye view of the fields of crops below.

You continued trekking up the well-trodden path on the hill, Bellamy and Clarke on either side of you. The last time you interacted with Bellamy was when you entered the protected area, but since then, you had avoided eye contact, physical touch, and conversation. You knew yourself; one wrong move and you would lose his game. Despite almost being eaten alive, you were still determined to stick to the rules, and even though innocent affection and conversation were allowed, you didn’t want to risk it.

Plus, total avoidance would only make him crave you more—the basic rule of men, unfortunately.

Emori walked a few steps in front of the group, her movements quickening as they reached a rounded corner. “Guys, look. Stairs.”

Orange-brick stairs came into view and you watched as Emori began ascending them, everyone else following behind her. You climbed up the stairs, Bellamy ahead of you by a step or two. Not for long though. Your pace increased until you were shoulder-to-shoulder, but only for a split second before you placed a hand on his bicep, dragging your palm across as you moved a few steps ahead of him. You could hear his breath hitch and a small smirk teased the corner of your lips. Now he was the one behind you—how he usually liked it.

If you weren’t going to interact with him, the least you could do was give him a good view.

Once you reached the top of the stairs, everyone stood side-by-side, taking in the view in front of them. It was incredible. It was like all the beauty on that planet had been condensed, thrown into a single area and turned into a village. That was what it was—a village. Plus, a castle?

“They have a castle,” Murphy said in wonder.

It looked like something from medieval times crossed with The Hobbit. The windows were circular and made of multi-coloured glass panes. The structure was made of bricks and rounded towers with various intricate patterns decorating different areas, and two round staircases curving up to a second-level balcony. It was so striking it had to have belonged to some divine being because no one else could have deserved such a beautiful palace. Well, there was one exception.

You glanced at Bellamy whose face was lit up with the brightest grin you had ever seen as he too let the beauty sink in. Your heart skipped a beat and you had to turn away. So, you turned to Murphy.

“Perfect for you, Murphy,” you jested. “King of the cockroaches.”

“Careful. Roaches bite, you know,” he retorted

You raised your hands in faux fear.

Clarke stepped forward. “Come on. Let’s see if anyone’s home.”

Most of the buildings looked modern and were made of glass and coloured wood or shipping containers, surrounded and covered by different types of flora. Flowers were not in short supply there, that was for sure; every garden held a new and exotic type. Even the pond in the middle of the village had flowers in it. There were coloured banners everywhere as well—some that hung from each building, and some that were standalone's. The suns’ light just made everything seem so much more vibrant and enchanting.

You and the others were going door-to-door, knocking on each one to see if anyone was there. So far, you had no luck, if that’s even what it was. Almost every home had been checked, but there was no one. The last house to be checked came by and apparently Murphy ran out of patience for simple pleasantries. He kicked the front doors open.

“Well, look at that.” He turned to the group. “This one’s unlocked.”

He stepped inside and began rummaging through the owner’s belongings, not that it surprised anyone very much. You watched as he bent over and picked up something that looked like a neck cuff connected to chains on a wall.

“Hm. Kinky.” He turned back to the group with a devious grin on his face. His eyes flickered between you and Bellamy. “Any takers?”

He gestured between the two of you with the chains as if he were offering them. Oh, you were so tempted to pull a knife on him.

Your eyes went wide, and Bellamy almost choked on his own breath. All eyes were now on you and him.

You took off in the opposite direction before anyone could say a word. “I’m–I’m gonna find a change of clothes.”

It was a perfectly reasonable excuse to leave anyway. Your clothes were practically threadbare from the rough escape through the forest. Thankfully, you could hear the group begin talking about something completely unrelated before you were out of hearing distance. You weren’t sure where you were headed in particular. Anywhere that wasn’t near Murphy or Bellamy would suffice.

You didn’t want to be apart from Bellamy at all. Quite the opposite. You wanted him. You wanted his hands to roam all over your body, to feel his arms tight around your waist as he thrust deep inside you from beneath, and to have his name dripping from your tongue as he made it impossible for you to distinguish the meaning between the words ‘love’ and ‘lust’.

(If only you knew that he was suffering the exact same way.)

However, his ego was much too inflated for you to let him win. It was a sacrifice for the greater good. The greater good being not having to constantly listen to him tease you for losing in the future. But as time went on and your body started physically reacting to the separation, losing started to seem like not such a terrible idea. You were conflicted. Give in, or push on? The decision was painfully frustrating and also just downright painful.

While amidst your thoughts, your feet had carried you to the opposite side of the village until you were standing outside a dark red-wooded house. Covering the poles that held up the structure’s second story were apple blossoms. “Let’s not bite the apple this time.” That was the first thing you had said after stepping onto the ground—a reference to the story of Adam and Eve. Now here you were, contemplating handing yourself over to desire. A literal bite of the apple.

You shook your head, pulling down the door handle to the red house and it opened. Locks didn’t exist in this place it seemed. Stepping inside, you noticed several cardboard boxes on the ground both opened and unopened. There was furnishing such as couches, bookcases, a round glass dining table, and leather seats, but they were all scattered across the room and half had white sheets covering them. It looked like the owner had just been moving in.

As you assessed the room, you noticed a floor-length mirror attached to one of the walls, so naturally, you moved yourself in front of it. The reflection did not match the person you were before leaving Eligius IV. Your bun wasn’t even a bun anymore; half of it had fallen out whilst the other struggled to stay within the hair band. Your clothes had more holes than you could count and were covered in a thick layer of dirt and insect blood. A grimace fell across your face. Gross.

At your feet was another cardboard box; it was opened with a variety of fabrics spilling out. Crouching down, you pulled out the black material at the top to find that it was a long-sleeve off-the-shoulder shirt. It wasn’t exactly practical, but it beat wearing insect organs. You exchanged your two previous shirts for the black shirt; the material stretched around your curves, clinging to your body like a second skin.

Next was a change of pants. You kicked off your shoes and peeled off your jeans, leaving you only in your black underwear and socks. And so, the search began. A good ten minutes went by and you found nothing but long skirts and dresses. You were not about to walk outside dressed up like some grounder princess. Not now at least. Maybe there were more boxes upstairs?

After locating the staircase to the second story, you began to climb. Just like the first level, there were boxes and furnishings. There was a large thigh-high mattress against the back wall with two glass doors on either side leading to a balcony. The mattress was covered in several different blankets consisting of shades between white and purple with a mountain of matching pillows at the head of the bed. On the wall facing the mattress was another floor-length mirror. These people had a vanity problem.

Much to your displeasure, none of the boxes upstairs contained any pants either, so there you stood in the middle of the room wearing only a tight shirt and underwear. You sighed in frustration, tugging your hair band from the bun and letting your locks cascade over your shoulders and down your back. With nothing else to do, you decided you might as well go outside and see what the others were doing. You stepped out onto the balcony; the house’s architect had the right idea by designing it with a concrete fence that covered your lower half.

The others were still lingering on the other side of the village. You rested your forearms on the balcony fence, watching as Murphy signalled for Shaw and Bellamy’s assistance with pulling a heavy wooden crate from inside one of the houses. Knowing Murphy, it was probably full of stuff he was going to take for himself, which would have explained Bellamy’s reluctant stance. There was also something else that seemed to be troubling him. He looked distracted, almost torn between choices, his eyes occasionally wandering to the opposite side of the village where you had previously walked off to. Nevertheless, he eventually did give in to helping Murphy.

And then suddenly time all around you began to slow down. You were in a trance and it was no one but Bellamy’s fault.

He shrugged off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, exposing his tanned and veiny arms beneath. He placed his hands underneath the crate and lifted in time with Murphy and Shaw. Even from such a distance, you could see his muscles tense and flex under the weight, the size of his biceps nearly doubling and bursting through the seams of his shirt. His face carried a strained expression, something you had seen many times before but in very different circumstances.

Your skin flushed with heat, and your bottom lip curled between your teeth as you struggled to keep your breathing under control. Blood was buzzing in your ears; you felt fucking intoxicated. You were aware of how feral your behaviour had become but it was inevitable. In a game like this, it had to be.

Once the crate was outside, he and Murphy placed it on the ground. Bellamy ran a hand through his hair, his gaze already beginning to wander once again. As if he could feel your stare burning straight through him, his eyes found your distant ones up on the balcony. The feeling of a hole being burnt through him was understandable because your eyes were ablaze with sin. That had to have been the tenth time you’d made him hard now and it was becoming painful.

You weren’t embarrassed to be caught staring, instead, you were intrigued as to what his next movements would be. But he made none. He simply stared at you over his shoulder, eyes stern and calculating. Who was going to win wasn’t the question anymore. The question was: How could either of you prepare for what was coming? A century’s worth of abstinence was also a century’s worth of build-up, meaning the release would be messy, and Bellamy wasn’t one to hold back.

Finally, he broke the eye contact, but only for a few seconds. His eyes moved to the building beside him and then back to you as if he were trying to get you to follow his gaze. So, you did. What he had gestured to was another pair of chains and handcuffs connected to a wall. Instinctively, you gasped, feeling a pulse in your stomach which you knew was his exact objective. You looked back at him, seeing the self-satisfied grin plastered on his face before he turned back to the group.

That son of a bitch.

Your back slid down the concrete fence until your ass hit the cold marble floor. He was driving you to sex-crazed insanity and you didn’t know how to fight against it. You needed something. Anything to relieve the torment. But you knew if you started, your hands would never stop, not until they were replaced with his.

Maybe the cuffs weren’t such a bad idea.

“No!” you had to verbally reprimand yourself.

Your head fell in your hands. This was all getting too much for you. One-hundred-and-twenty-five years… and a day! You wouldn’t call yourself a nymphomaniac but holy fuck. It was getting to the point that even his name had you aching, tearing yourself to shreds. You couldn’t take it any longer.

Moving onto your hands and knees, you began crawling—yes, crawling—back inside. You managed to pull yourself up onto the mattress with trembling arms and fell back against the quilt and cushions in the middle of the bed. A shaky breath left your lips. If Bellamy couldn’t be there to take care of you, then you would finish the job yourself.

You slipped a hand beneath the thin fabric covering your heat, fingers racing to meet the spot you needed. Back arching into the bed and stomach tightening—that is what you expected to happen when your fingers began circling your clit, but it was nothing of the sort. All you felt was skin on skin and the slightest of sensations. Even when you pressed harder, and moved faster, there was nothing.

Letting out a quiet, distressed cry, you readjusted your position and switched hands. You began rubbing back and forth, side-to-side, every way that had gotten the job done in the past. You moved one hand under your shirt and began massaging your breast, pinching and grazing your nipple, trying to replicate all the moves Bellamy had pulled on you before.

Still, there was no relief from the ache you felt. You needed to go further. Your hand moved lower, fingers hovering over your slick opening before sliding one in. This was never your forte; it was Bellamy’s. Whenever you needed to pleasure yourself, you would stick with outside stimulation, so all you knew was what he had done to you. After sliding your finger in and out a few times, you added another, but it still didn’t feel right. There was something you were missing that he usually did.

He took over your thoughts and you tried to imagine it was his hands instead of your own, but you were just fooling yourself. They were your fingers, not his. You were alone and you were desperate. No one could make you feel as close to heaven as him, not even yourself. Somehow, he knew the workings of your body even better than you did. Without him there in your desperate time of need, it was useless…

So, you started crying—like, actual tears-running-down-cheeks-and-sniffling crying. You felt utterly pathetic and that was all you felt. There was nothing you could do to help yourself. Bellamy was outside with the others, and it wasn’t like you could just waltz out there without pants on and ask him to fuck you incoherent.

Your fingers slipped out from inside you, wet and splayed across your bare stomach as you stared up at the ceiling, condemned to the unshakable longing within. Too distracted by your inability to satisfy yourself and your attempts to stop the tears from flowing, you didn’t hear the door downstairs open and closd. You sniffled, continuing to feel sorry for yourself.

Footsteps were coming up the staircase, but you didn’t hear them either. Nor did you notice the familiar figure that was now leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, feeling that same terrible longing that had led him to you. Only when he cleared his throat did you shoot up into a sitting position.

Bellamy.

“Bellamy,” you whispered, eyes wide and full of new-found hope.

He didn’t say anything, just simply observed you. First, he noticed the sparse clothing on the bottom half of your body; his pants became the tiniest bit tighter. Then he saw your eager expression—even tighter. And then, his eyes found the fingers lying in your lap, coated in a shine that had his entire body pulsing.

The drying tears on your cheeks were a dead giveaway of the desperation you had for him. He tilted his head, insincere pity washing across his features that you knew was only meant to taunt you. “What did you do?”

Your mouth opened to speak but you couldn’t find the words. “I–I–”

He pushed off the doorway and slowly walked over to you, each step measured in regard to prolonging the time it took for the distance between you and him to close.

You moved onto your knees as he got closer.

Once he finally stopped beside the mattress where you were sitting, he peered down at you. “Just couldn’t wait, could you?”

His arms were doing that thing again where they bulged beneath his shirt. He was right in front of you, all you had to do was reach out and touch. So, you did. You reached for his arm, but he was quick to intercept, catching your wrist in his hand. He looked like he was holding back a smirk, but his scheming eyes revealed how he felt. Smug.

For a moment, he moved his attention to your hand, turning it side-to-side to watch the light catch on the wetness. His eyes returned to yours and it was suddenly impossible to guess what he was thinking. He gently began to pull you forward, guiding you off the bed and you let him, oblivious as to where he was taking you.

When your feet hit the ground, he led you towards the wall. What you had failed to notice when you first entered the room was that there was another pair of chains connected to a handcuff. Scratch what you had thought before—these people had a bigger kink problem than vanity. Before you even had a chance to think, the leather cuff was bound around both your wrists.

You looked up at Bellamy. “Wait, wha–what are you doing?”

He sat back on the edge of the mattress. “Giving you another chance to win.”

The game. You had almost forgotten.

Winning and losing were a foreign concept to your mind now. All you wanted was Bellamy and he knew it which was why he found teasing you so entertaining. You tugged on the chains, trying to reach out to him even though you knew it was useless.

“Don’t think that will work, princess.”

You stared at him, exhaling sharply. Frustration was quickly building, and you wondered how long it would take until you were in tears again.

He looked around the room as though he hadn’t a worry in the world.

“It’s kinda hot in here, don’t you think?” he asked, brows furrowed.

Then he was pulling his shirt over his head and you were sinking to your knees. That was just cruel. His entire torso was exposed now, from his well-defined abs and chest to his broad and muscular shoulders. So cruel.

Your head fell back against the wall. “Bell–”

“What were you thinking about?” he interrupted, arms crossed over his chest again. There was no material preventing you from watching his muscles expand, from seeing the crafted curves of his toned arms. “Before I came in.”

I was pretending it was you who was touching me, you thought of saying, but your voice failed you.

He leaned forward, forearms resting on his spread knees. Staring at you expectantly, he was quick to realise he wasn’t getting an explanation. He nodded as if to say, ‘I see how it is’.

“Was it my fingers…?” He began cracking his knuckles one finger at a time, gaining all of your attention. “Or was I inside you?”

Your walls spasmed at the thought and you sighed softly.

“Were you imagining what it would feel like to have me between your legs after so long?” You closed your eyes, listening to him put the images in your mind. “How good I can make you feel? How fast?”

Goosebumps spread all over your body, your skin tingling with anticipation. You heard the bedsheets ruffling. He had moved off the mattress, now crouched in front of you, but you didn’t dare to open your eyes.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about it too.” His voice was a low murmur now. “I can’t stop.”

He watched your eyes screw shut even tighter as he got closer. You looked like you were hurting, and he almost gave in, with heavy emphasis on the ‘almost’. Instead, he ghosted a finger across your collarbone. “I think about kissing you here.” He trailed up your neck. “Here.”

You could feel the air flexing between your lips and his finger, and you shivered. “And here.”

Your eyes slowly peeled open to see his face in front of yours. His dark eyes flickered between your own, peering deep into your soul which was entwined with him. He was already inside you without even touching you; he was inside your mind and under your skin. Your body was his and his body was yours. You loved him so intensely that whenever he fucked you, you forgot you were two different people instead of one.

To Hell with the challenge. To Hell with losing. He was your Heaven, and such torturous deterrents wouldn’t keep you away from the rapture he gave.

In a single move, you leaned forward and crashed your lips to his. Your body curved into him and he caught you with both arms, holding you upright against him. There was a split second before Bellamy responded as realised you finally gave in which meant he could too, and his lips began moving against yours. Just like the first kiss you shared on Eligius IV after waking up, this one was hungry, but that word sounded inadequate compared to what it really was. ‘Ravenous’ was more accurate.

You moaned into his mouth, your body feeling like it was coming alive.

His movements were intoxicating and so were the small sounds he made when he tried to fill his lungs with air. There was a rumbling in his chest, and he sounded almost primal. He brought a hand to the side of your head, fingers buried beneath your hair as he deepened the kiss, merging your lips with his.

Your bodies rocked backwards and forwards, your cuffed hands pressed against his chest meanwhile his were around your back and the other was in your hair. Bellamy’s hand moved to squeeze your waist and your mouth opened, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue inside and meet your own.

He rolled his tongue over yours during one kiss, and the next, yours had asserted dominance. You swirled around him, tasting him, mixing with him. During the time you took to explore the inside of his mouth, the floor beneath you had disappeared and was replaced with his arms. Your back was against the wall and if he wanted to, he could have dropped you at his feet; you had no way of holding on except for your legs which were wrapped around his hips.

You returned the power to him for a few seconds only to then lightly bite down on his bottom lip. He let out a quiet groan and slowly drew back to press his forehead to yours. For a while, you both stayed like this, breathing in each other’s breaths with your eyes closed.

Everything around you began to spin, and your head felt euphoric as you used his air as your own. The sensation spread through your body, it coursed through your veins and you needed to move, to feel it come to life. Your hips bucked forward but he was quick to push back, pinning you against the wall with a small grunt. His erection pressed between your legs, but he didn’t move. Eyes snapping open, you sent him a pleading look. How much longer was he going to make you wait? You tried to move your cuffed hands between your bodies, but he held them to his chest with one hand.

You wiggled against him, but it was futile.

“Bell,” you almost sobbed. “Bellamy, please.”

He lifted a finger beneath your chin, watching your reddened lips whisper the word ‘please’. He watched your eyes water, tears threatening to spill over the edge. You begged him over and over, and he allowed you to. He let you humiliate yourself in the hopes that he would give you what you wanted. You had completely fallen apart, and now he was going to piece you back together.

“What do you want?” His thumb brushed across your lips.

“Just touch me,” you pleaded.

A few more moments passed of you both just staring at each other, and then it was like something finally snapped in his eyes. He set you down on your feet. At first, you thought he was going to sit back on the bed, and you nearly choked out an objection. That isn’t what happened.

Instead, he pressed another tender kiss to your lips, then to your jaw, your neck, and down your clothed chest. His hands moved down either side of your body as he sunk to his knees in front of you and trailed kisses across your exposed stomach.

Your breaths started coming out in shorter, shallower intervals as he moved further down.

His hands squeezed your hips as he kissed the skin below your navel, causing your eyes to nearly roll back then and there. Finally, he made it to just above the waistband of your underwear. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly now. So close. His hands moved onto your thighs and he leaned in, briefly pressing his warm lips to your thinly covered heat. A jolt of pleasure moved up your body and you gasped. You could feel it—him.

He glanced up at your impatient expression before pulling the underwear down your legs, lifting each foot until it was completely discarded. He eyed the soaking mess that you already were and licked his bottom lip. This was all because of him. His eyes found yours once more, this time wordlessly asking for access despite your obvious enthusiasm.

All you managed to get out was a frantic, “Please”.

And when his mouth finally found your clit, a tear fell from your eye.

Your bound hands fell on top of his head, tugging at the soft waves as his tongue delved between your folds and flicked across your clit. His warm hands moved to the backs of your thighs, burying his face even deeper, exploring you even further. He moved down to your opening, spreading his tongue flat against it and dragging up to collect the mess that you were already becoming. Once he had returned to your clit, his mouth suctioned, sucking with pressure that caused you to let out a cry.

It wasn’t long before you felt the ghost of your orgasm begin to slowly step into the white light. The muscles in your stomach were tensing and rubbing together, preparing for a release that they were guaranteed to have.

Your back arched off the wall as you felt Bellamy’s teeth softly graze against the most sensitive part of your clit. He circled the surrounding area, the nerves beneath your skin setting alight with pleasure under his tongue, burning you from the inside out. When he mumbled something against you, you could feel the vibrations of his voice bury itself deep inside you, and you couldn’t hold back the filthy moan that had been begging to escape.

He pulled back an inch, your hips unconsciously following him as he said, “You lose.”

His mouth returned to your heat, focusing his attention on your throbbing clit, switching between flicking it with his tongue and sucking it into his mouth.

“No,” you managed to breathe out. There was no way something like this could be called ‘losing’. You were the one who got to feel Bellamy’s mouth between your thighs, bringing you to an extreme state of ecstasy. You were the one who had him on his knees before you. “I win.”

He groaned at the sound of your voice and you felt the pleasure move up another level. Your legs buckled beneath you as you tried to grind on his tongue. He took that as a hint to haul one of your legs over his broad shoulder. Now you were another level higher. Your hips bucked against him, feeling almost like you were vibrating as he continued his movements.

Just when you thought the sensation couldn’t get any better, you felt his thick finger suddenly slide deep into your opening and curl. Another tear ran down your cheek and you gripped onto his hair as your head fell back against the wall. You couldn’t even moan; there was only a chorus of strangled noises leaving your throat. He pushed upwards into the soft fleshy wall inside you over and over at a fast and steady pace, and suddenly, you were on the edge of pure bliss, ready to dive into the consuming waters.

His mouth sucked on your clit, tongue circling its peak, meanwhile, he added another finger to pump inside of you.

“Fuck, Bellamy!” Your voice had risen an octave, all breathy and needy.

Like a heartbeat, you could feel yourself throbbing, pleasure building more intensely with each pulse. The muscles in your stomach were so tight it felt like they were being burned with a white-hot flame. Your insides were twisting and coiling and with every curl of his fingers, the feeling only intensified.

Bellamy glanced up at you from below, your eyes meeting in a short exchange.

It all happened so fast.

“I’m–” Before you could finish your sentence, you were shot back up into space, seeing stars.

Your legs tensed up, heel digging into his back as your body began to shake. The coil inside your stomach unravelled, exiting through your opening but not before aggressively rubbing at your insides on the way out. For a moment, you forgot where you were. All you knew was the release, the buzzing in your ears and the way your vision swayed through half-lidded eyes.

Bellamy’s name flowed past your lips like a mantra. He didn’t stop; he kept pumping, kept sucking, prolonging the sensation for as long as he could. Everything was pulsing—the air, his fingers, your pussy. Everything. You would’ve thought you had ascended to a higher dimension if it weren’t for the man beneath you.

You felt his mouth disconnect from your body, fingers still moving inside, although, his pace was beginning to slow and so was your orgasm. The feeling was fading away, leaving you with an overwhelming feeling of weakness in the lower half of your body. Bellamy could feel your legs shaking, so he slid his fingers out. You couldn’t hold yourself up anymore and the next thing you knew, your legs buckled, and you were collapsing to the ground

Bellamy caught you in his arms, pulling you into his lap. He watched your thighs tremble as aftershocks washed over you, creamy liquid dripping down your skin. Your furrowed brows, half-closed eyes, and parted lips were a sight to see; he’d never witnessed anything more beautiful in his life.

You peered up at him through your lashes, cuffed hands resting on your stomach, and you smiled. Then you laughed, and then he was laughing too. His chest vibrated against your skin. Your hands reached up to push back a strand of his hair from his face and suddenly you were kissing again.

He placed a hand on your back and guided you until you were sitting sideways on his lap. Your taste was on his tongue and you loved it. You felt it seep into your own tastebuds as you rewound back to when you came on his fingers. You used his chest as support to help swing your legs on either side of his folded thighs so that you were now facing him.

His hands ran down your sides, stopping at the hem of your shirt before pulling it up over your head, exposing your naked breasts to the warm air. Bras were impractical when you were Bellamy Blake’s girlfriend; he’d always find some way of removing them anyway. Hell, you wouldn’t have been surprised if he had burned all the ones you used to wear.

He lowered his head to your chest, hair tickling your neck as he began making it his mission to cover your breasts in bruises that marked you as his. Despite feeling like your ability to walk was eradicated, you could feel yourself craving more of him, more of his sex. As previously disclaimed, sometimes fatigue didn’t stop you two from going multiple rounds and this time wasn’t an exception.

If only your hands weren’t bound. You wanted to touch him the way he did you. You wanted him to feel the world disappear and be replaced with a mind-numbing sense of sinful pleasure. You wanted to give that to him, but you couldn’t. Your hands were cuffed, and he had the key.

“Uncuff me, Blake,” you whispered.

His head lifted from your breasts, reluctant eyes meeting your own. “Why should I?”

You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness and turned your head away from him, but he was quick to pull you back with two fingers on the side of your jaw.

“You still lost, remember?” he added.

As if you didn’t already know that. “That was not my definition of losing.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes and even though you were supposed to be in a minor disagreement, you couldn’t help but think about how fucking sexy he looked. You leaned forward, lips ghosting over his. “Uncuff me, Blake.”

His jaw clenched and he leaned in, but you quickly pulled away. His eyes narrowed at you and the smirk you were biting back. He had played the ‘humiliation game’ with you and now it was time for payback. Bellamy may have been the one with the keys, but it was you who now had the control.

“C’mon, we both know you’ll give in before me,” he said, arrogantly.

Always count on Bellamy to be egotistical, even in bed. Well, ‘on the floor’ would be more accurate.

“Is that so?”

“It is.”

You hummed, placing your restrained hands on his chest and slowly grazing them down his torso. When you reached his stomach, you made sure to slow down and drag your nails across his skin.

He inhaled sharply when your nails scratched the area above his pants’ waistband. “Very conceited for a boy who can’t even handle being touched.”

His chuckle came out as a harsh exhale. “‘Boy’?”

“A man would take these chains off me.”

“You think taunting me will get me to break?”

Provoking words wasn’t what was going to break him; you knew that. It was underestimation that was going to be his fall. When it came down to it, men were very simple creatures. They chased after pleasure like it was the one thing that kept them alive, and you knew each and every weakness this man had. He thought just because he won the game, he also won the war. Well, guess again. You were going to knock him right off his high horse.

Your fingers dipped into his waistband. His hand quickly clamped over one of your wrists, pulling it away from his pants. Not that it mattered; you didn’t need your hands. He held your hands in the space between your bodies, his chest rising a little more irregularly than before.

You leaned forward, tantalisingly slow. This time he made sure not to move a muscle, allowing you to do exactly what you wanted. Your mouth hovered in front of his and you could feel his warm breath fan across your lips. Softly, almost as if the moment had become sugary and sweet, you pressed a kiss to his lips, a tender closed-mouth moan buzzing in your throat upon contact. He responded with the same energy.

And then the mood abruptly shifted as you glided your tongue across his bottom lip.

You could feel his cock twitch beneath you, and you knew you were headed in the right direction. Grinding down on his lap, you managed to slip your tongue into his mouth as he grunted. One weakness down; four to go. Your tongue swirled around his with each open-mouth kiss, and he had no choice—you both knew he was having the time of his life—but to reciprocate since he had already given up that area of defence.

Your hips continued to rock back and forth across his lap, occasionally applying a bit more pressure in the hopes he would be triggered to move. He wasn’t. Yet. So, you left his lips and moved down to his neck, sucking and nipping at the skin. His head tilted to the side with a sigh, allowing you easier access. This spot was not your main target, though. Your kisses trailed up to his jaw, running along the sides and the curve of his jawline before dipping just beneath the area where his jaw and neck connected. That was one of his weak spots.

His next exhale was shaky, paired with the quietest of groans. Two down. Then you moved on to the next target: just below his ear. Your tongue grazed the area before you left your mark by sucking on his soft skin. He was louder this time and your confidence soared higher. Three; two to go.

He had let go of your wrists now, resting his hands on the curves of your hips with his eyes closed. So much for the whole my-willpower-is-stronger-than-yours dispute. You watched his face as you dragged yourself back and forth over his erection. His eyes screwed shut, brows pulling together, and his fingers pressing hard into the soft plush of your hips.

Come on. Come on, you thought.

“Let go, Bell,” you purred into his ear. Your entire body weight shifted onto his lap and you almost revealed the same weakness you were trying to pull from him. He was so incredibly hard now that it probably wasn’t even healthy. He would have to unchain you soon. And just to pour gasoline on an already roaring fire, you added, “I want to feel you inside me.”

That was it. He couldn’t deny himself the heaven you were giving anymore. His hips bucked up into you, creating a pseudo-sensation of sliding between your folds—an action that erupted a full-fledged moan from his lips, causing your inner walls to flutter and your stomach to drop.

Weak point four—check.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath before suddenly snatching the knife from the holster on his belt and splitting the leather cuffs around your wrists.

And five. Check yes Juliet.

Wow. he couldn’t even manage to grab the keys.

Your hands were free at last, and you wasted no time in using them. They rushed down to unbuckle his belt and tossed it on the floor with a clink. Before you could continue any further, Bellamy rolled you over so that you were now lying caged beneath him. His lips came down on yours in a flurry of passion.

Now that you had full-body autonomy, you couldn’t help but explore every inch of him that you were once denied of touching. Your fingertips ran over his back, over the ridges of his shoulder blades, and around his large biceps. You wove your fingers into the roots of his hair and tugged just because you could.

He reached under the curve on your back, pulling your body up into his, your pelvis’ meeting in a rough collision. He was a mess of grunts and groans and you were quickly inhaling more air than you needed.

You moved a hand to his cheek to deepen the kiss as your touch explored his body further, slipping between your bodies and settling on unbuttoning his pants. Unzipping his flier with one-handed skill, your warm, soft hand slipped into his boxers, finally coming into contact with his hard cock.

His head fell to your chest with a broken moan.

Your fingers curled around him, beginning to stroke up and down his length. Bellamy had taken many of your firsts, including your first time so you had no one to compare him to. However, you were well aware that he was bigger than average. Even if he hadn’t been, you were certain he would satisfy you the same; he was just that good.

He managed to lift his head back up and return to your lips as your arm pumped up and down. His hips lurched forward as your grip increased. All he could think about was how good you were going to feel when it was your heat that was engulfing him, how wet and warm you always were.

Your hand reached the head of his cock, thumb rubbing circles over his tip as you felt drops of precum coat your fingertip. He was usually able to last a long time, just like you, but this was different. Everything inside him was built up for a century, and it would not take much until he was coming in your hand. You wanted him to reach that point as soon as possible.

You left pecks trailing from his mouth, across his cheek, and to the side of his jaw. The bone of his jaw fell victim to your grazing tongue as your pace increased along with the pressure of your grip. He was breathing heavily now, every second breath mixed with a low, breathy moan or grunt. You were throbbing just listening to the sounds he made.

A few curses left his mouth, revealing how close he was—that and the way his cock was practically pulsating in your hand. You twisted your hand with each stroke, effortlessly gliding your palm down his large veiny length. Your thumb grazed over the sensitive band of skin beneath the head of his cock, and his entire body flinched.

He was almost over the edge; all you had to do was give him a little push. Wanting to see his face one last time before you did, you leaned back, cradling his jaw in one hand whilst the other continued below. His eyes were shut, inner brows pulled upwards in a painfully blissful expression and strands of dishevelled dark hair had fallen across his forehead. God, he was gorgeous. What you wouldn’t give to…

No. You had your pleasure; now it was his turn. With each jerk and twist of your hand, your fingers ran over his tip then moved back down to lightly squeeze and repeat. You pressed one last peck to his lips before travelling to that spot below his ear, running your tongue over the skin and then sucked.

His cock twitched in your hand, stomach tensing against your forearm before he finally let go. He let out a loud guttural moan of your name, almost a cry, as he released onto both your hand and the inside of his pants. His head fell forward into the space between your neck and shoulder, groaning into your heated skin which sent vibrations down to your breast.

He remained in that spot for a few moments as you continued to slowly pump him up and down whilst pressing kisses to his shoulder. As he attempted to get his breath back, you removed your hand from his pants and moved both onto his back, lightly dragging your nails over his skin.

Now you were both even, but it was clear this was far from over.

Warm pants fanned across your face after he recovered enough to hover over your body. You were about to tease him for coming quicker than you did, but his tongue was suddenly in your mouth, rolling around your own. And then you felt it—he was already hard again.

That’s a lot of stamina for a hundred-and-fifty-one-year-old man.

He left your lips again and rose to his knees. His carnally intense eyes never left yours as he pulled both his pants and boxers down to his lower thighs. You watched as his cock sprang from his boxers and bounced off his toned stomach. Still looking good for a hundred-and-fifty-one-year-old man too. Extremely good. Like, actually drool-worthy good.

And it seemed he was thinking the very same thing.

“You’re so beautiful,” he spoke, almost like he couldn’t believe the fact himself before he descended back down to you, mouth hot on yours.

His hands were on the floor on either side of your shoulders, essentially trapping you beneath him. You loved how small he made you feel compared to him; almost like he could hold you in the palm of his hand like a little china doll. The treatment he gave you was also like that of a china doll—such a delicate and treasured touch. Though, there were times when he would practically throw you around like a rag doll, mostly when you were both deep in an intense fuck session.

The length of his cock glided over your stomach as he moved his body into each kiss. It was so close to where you needed it, yet still so far. Your legs curled around his hips in an attempt to guide him to your entrance, but he showed slight resistance. His tip was just pushing through your folds, sliding across with each movement he made. It was torture.

You pulled back from his lips, hands almost clawing at the sides of his chest. “Please, Bell, just–”

A gasp escaped you both as Bellamy finally pushed inside you in one fluid movement, his hips almost meeting yours as he filled you as much as your previously abstinent body allowed. Your walls welcomed him and the long-awaited feeling of his cock brushing against that back-arching spot deep within you. He hadn’t even moved yet, but your eyes were fluttering, and your throat was already tightening as you struggled to let out a moan.

Neither of you could do anything but struggle to keep your composure, waiting for the overwhelming heat of pleasure to subdue just the tiniest bit so your bodies could start moving without the world crashing down around you. After moments of stillness passed, Bellamy finally began to move, his pace slow but so, so deep. His gaze was intense as he found his rhythm, sliding almost completely out and then pushing himself back inside you. Fuck, the way your warmth consumed him was hypnotic.

It was kind of like the first time you had slept together those many years ago, minus the nearly unbearable pain when he first entered you, of course. It was intense yet still so full of adoration.

Your body soon grew accustomed to the feeling of his cock stretching you open, making room for him to bury even deeper, to feel your walls completely swallow him whole. That is when his pace started to increase. Your arms hooked around his biceps, bringing him closer as he continued his thrusts.

Not long passed before his hips were snapping against yours; he wasn’t just sliding in and out of you anymore—he was fucking you, pounding into you. Each time he buried himself deep, the area above his cock ground against your clit, stimulating you from the inside and out, so much that it was impossible to hold back a moan.

He moved a strand of hair away from your face, nodding his head as if to praise your vocalisation. The sight of him praising you for simply enjoying yourself as he fucked you was something that turned you on beyond belief. Not that you needed any more turning on at that point, but still, the reaction stood firm.

You wanted him deeper, in any way that was still physically possible.

And then, a sudden, lust-bound thought entered your mind and before you could even ponder it, you had used all your strength to roll yourself on top of his body. Now, his hands were on your hips, head thrown back on the floor and mouth hung open as you rode his cock.

“Oh, fuck!” Bellamy groaned.

Your hands were on his thighs as to hold up your half-reclined position and you were bouncing up and down, rolling your hips so you could feel him everywhere inside you.

A shudder ran down your body, peaking the nipples of your bouncing breasts. You swore you could almost feel him in your stomach. You shifted your body weight into your arms and pushed yourself upwards, sliding his cock nearly all the way out, circling your entrance around his tip before sinking back down to his base.

The both of you let out a synced noise of satisfaction.

His eyes followed each roll of your breasts in a trance, and then he cupped one in his hand, circling his thumb around your sensitive nipple. You gave Bellamy a smile, one that was so sweet and unintentionally seductive. He let out a half chuckle, half groan.

Your legs began to burn, a reminder of the experience you had with Bellamy’s tongue just before this. The way your clit was slapping against his pelvis each time you dropped mimicked the way his tongue had previously flicked and rolled around it. Your pace was beginning to slow, and your rhythm faltered, but you didn’t want the sensation to stop. Instead, you let yourself sink fully down on his cock, and your eyes rolled back. Ok, now he had to be in your stomach because there was no other explanation for the deepness you felt.

He was permanently in that spot that had blood rushing to your head, and with your hips rocking back and forth the way they were, your gut was throbbing with a build-up of ecstasy.

“I–” you panted. “I can’t hold myself up much longer.”

You squeezed his thighs, surely leaving behind red marks as you tried to push yourself up and down a few more times, pleasure and pain fuelling each of your repetitions. It was no use; your arms were trembling, and muscles were burning.

Bellamy was quick to your aid. “I’ve got you, princess, don’t worry.”

His hands moved to your back, pulling you forward, and colliding your breasts into his chest. Next thing you knew, he was pounding hard up into your pussy, his movements so fast you couldn’t even count the number of thrusts he made every five seconds, but it felt so good. So good that you almost screamed.

Your clit was throbbing, inner walls clenching around his unrelenting cock. You were hot, your body slick with sweat, but it wasn’t just that; there was also a fire pooling at the bottom of your abdomen, spreading through your muscles, through every fibre of your being and you didn’t want it to stop.

Bellamy’s arms were wrapped around your waist, rendering you immobile to each of his insatiable thrusts but it made you feel all the more incredible. He was hitting that soft, fleshy spot inside you over and over again, and you felt like you were going to burst. Your stomach was fluttering, his cock was pulsing inside you, and you were a mess of whines and moans.

“You feel–” he couldn’t even speak without releasing a rough moan. His arms tightened around you, mouth moving against your shoulder to say, “Feel so good.”

You couldn’t help but cry out at his words; he sounded so drunk on pleasure.

He began pressing rough kisses to your neck and the noises leaving your throat were utterly impure. His knees bent inwards, allowing him to thrust even faster into you. You were both overcome with desire, hellbent on chasing your release that was taunting you from the shadows. Bellamy seemed almost animalistic, sucking and biting at the skin of your neck whilst pounding into you from below.

Like always, he had made it so that you didn’t have to lift a finger, and he liked it that way. He was making you feel like you had slipped into heaven, and only he could do that. One of his many sources of joy was that your body only knew his cock, and it would forever only know his because that was how long he planned to love you.

You placed a hand on the floor beside his head, hovering your face above his. His eyes were quick to find yours as you gazed down at him.

In between each of his thrusts, you breathed out, “I–love–you.”

He looked so flustered, so puffed out. He was unable to repeat the words back without them sounding like a laboured breath of air so instead, he jerked forward and latched his mouth on the bone of your jaw, turning your skin red and purple.

Your head turned to the side to give him easier access only to unexpectedly come face-to-face with yourself being absolutely destroyed in the mirror’s reflection.

Well… It sure wasn’t a vanity problem these people had, you knew that now.

“Bellamy, look,” you gasped.

His entire body stilled at the sound of your voice and he eyed you with a worried expression. “Did I do something?”

“No,” you tilted his head with your hand so that he was looking at the mirror too. “I just…”

He didn’t need to hear more; Bellamy knew exactly what you wanted—to watch. Watch as his cock plunged in and out of your pussy, watch it curve into your entrance, watch your body bounce on top of his with each thrust. Damn, he’d wished either of you had noticed the mirror before so he could have watched you ride him from two point-of-views.

His gaze returned to you. “Hop off.” You were about to protest, but he beat you to it by clamping a large hand over your mouth. “Trust me.”

You gave him a puzzled, hesitant look but eventually submitted to his command, sliding off him and onto the hard marble floor. His body had left yours entirely, leaving you feeling cold and empty, inside and out.

It wasn’t long before he positioned himself to face the mirror, kneeling in front of it. He curled an arm around your waist and slid you across the floor towards him. Like a rag doll. He pulled you backwards onto his lap so that your back was almost against his chest and your thighs were spread open on either side of his.

“Lean back,” he said, and you did.

Your back was flush against him, and you could feel his racing heart reverberating in your ribcage. His arms wrapped around the space beneath your breasts and he pulled you upwards, supporting your weight, knowing you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself up.

“Ready?” he whispered into your ear as you watched him in the reflection.

You nodded, reaching around to rest a hand on the side of his neck.

He kissed your cheek and your eyes closed at the sweet act of affection. One of his hands moved beneath you as he guided himself to your entrance, his tip pushing against your wet folds. Bellamy watched over your shoulder, his eyes focusing on the way his cock teased opening.

He finally slid inside, and you instantly fell further against him. Muscles were very handy in this kind of situation. You were captivated—his length disappeared into your body and then returned almost to the tip, covered in a thin layer of both your juices. His movements continued over and over, but you never found yourself bored or wanting to look away. Neither did he.

Your lips parted with a moan when he abruptly took one hard thrust up into you. You looked up at your reflection, seeing the expression on your face, seeing your dishevelled hair… your bouncing breasts. Not that you would say it aloud, but you looked sexy. For a split second, you found yourself finally understanding the attraction Bellamy had to you, and then your mind was torn apart once again.

His speed increased and he was hitting your insides harder and harder with each passing second. You saw your thighs slightly jiggling and weren’t insecure or afraid of Bellamy noticing, but instead found yourself feeling even more turned on.

The room was full of sex—the sounds were wet and harsh, the smell of your pheromones clung to the wall, and the visuals were etched into the mirror in front of your bodies. It was beautiful.

You moved your gaze up to Bellamy’s eyes, seeing him just as captivated as you were, alternating between watching himself slip in and out of your pussy and watching your breasts recoil from each bounce. He then met your gaze, talking to you through unspoken communication. Though you were unsure of the specifics, you were certain he was telling you how much he loved you, how beautiful you looked with his cock inside you, how no one else could ever compare.

His tip repeatedly curved into your G-spot, the rest of his length rubbing against your walls, causing the flames in your stomach to start rising. Bellamy could see the fire in your eyes, and he was ready to turn it into a blazing inferno. He shifted his hold on you into one arm, reaching around your body with the other. His fingers found your clit, instantly applying pressure as he rubbed fast circles around it. That was the gasoline.

Your orgasm was no longer creeping up inside you, but rather rocketing to the surface. You were pulsing around Bellamy’s cock, driving him even closer to his own high. His hips were slapping the skin of your ass as they kept snapping upwards. His abs were more defined as the muscles in his stomach tensed up, trying to keep you upright whilst fucking into you and controlling the orgasm that was threatening to release. You always came before him. Always.

His fingers pressed harder into you, moving side-to-side. Your G-spot was being hit without mercy, only intensifying the pleasure you felt as he rubbed your clit. You alternated between holding your breath and letting out shallow, laboured breaths, signalling how close you were.

You could feel it, Bellamy could feel it—you were pretty sure everyone outside could feel it too, feel the powerful energy leaking from the house you were in. That is what it felt like. Powerful. And now it was about to take over your entire body.

“Bell, I’m gonna–”

“I know,” he panted. “Me too.”

Your hand fell over his, pushing down on it, applying more force even though you weren’t sure he could even press any harder. His hand was almost blurring in the mirror, and his cock was pounding. He was breathing so heavily against your back and into your ear that it sounded like he couldn’t even control the grunts and moans leaving his mouth anymore.

He circled your clit a few more times before your hand moved further down to the place you both connected. Your fingers found the area between his cock and your pussy, feeling him slide over your fingertips as he moved in and out. That was what sent you over the edge.

The blaze in your stomach exploded, sending sparks throughout your body. Your moans were uncontrollable, rebounding off every corner of the room. Your ears were buzzing with overwhelming silence, your vision partially blacked out and you felt so, so good. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, but you hardly noticed, unable to think about anything except Bellamy’s cock. You had ascended to a higher dimension and he was right there with you, endlessly pounding up into you, prolonging your mind-numbing high.

Feeling your walls clenching around him was all it took for Bellamy to fill you up with his come. His cock twitched, and the warm liquid came rushing out in spurts, coating your insides with white—with him. The thick warmth of your mixed juices leaked from your opening and dripped down his length. Your inner thighs were drenched.

His thrusts were sloppy and rough, desperate to keep the feeling coursing through his body as long as possible. The sounds he made were so guttural and raw that you weren’t sure if they made you come again or if they just prolonged the orgasm you were already having.

Somehow, in the midst of both your highs, you had ended up on the floor, partially laying on each other whilst frantically gulping down air.

You couldn’t move. One of your legs was tangled between his, and one arm was thrown across his chest. Your breasts were pressed against the hard ground, head turned to the side facing Bellamy. Everything was shaking, or maybe it was just your entire body uncontrollably quivering. Even your pussy was still clenching, causing you to flinch with each fraction of a movement it made.

Bellamy had a forearm over his eyes, panting heavily; his other arm was still wrapped around your waist.

The both of you just lay there for a few minutes, not talking, not moving, just recovering. Eventually, Bellamy gained back enough strength to speak.

“We didn’t even make it to the bed,” he chuckled.

You then realised you were both literally lying naked on a stranger’s bedroom floor and laughed. “We would’ve ruined the sheets anyway.”

“Probably,” he sighed, contently. He pulled you further onto his chest, bringing your face to nuzzle into his neck. He pressed a kiss into your hair. “I love you too, princess.”

You smiled into his skin, remembering the declaration you previously made. Tilting your head up and resting your chin on his chest, you stared up at him, eyes full of reverence. He peered down at you with a grin, and then his lips were on yours again, soft and slow; so tender that you–

“Oh, come on!”

You both pulled apart at the sudden new voice. In the doorway stood a very irritated Murphy. He seemed too shocked—more like too horrified—to even look away.

Bellamy ripped a blanket from the edge of the mattress and pulled it over your body. “Murphy, I swear to god I’m gonna kill you! Get out!”

“Oh my god!” he shouted in response. “I can’t catch a fucking break around here!”

His voice echoed down the staircase as he fled the building. Someone probably needed to find him a shrink after the number of times he had walked in on you both. He had made it back outside, returning to the rest of the group, though not far enough away for you to miss his very loud complaints.

“Where are the damn carnivorous bugs when you need them?!”

“What’s wrong?” you heard someone ask him.

“What’s wrong? They’re fucking animals, that’s what’s wrong!”

You turned back to face Bellamy, grinning in a daze. “I’ll say.”

Bellamy smirked, humming in agreement as he rolled back on top of you.

It was hard to say how many more rounds you went. The only time you stopped was when your bodies were screaming for a break, and during that time, all you could think was thank god for contraceptive implants.

#wife-of-all-dilfs ✍️#bellamy blake #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake x y/n #bellamy blake smut #bellamy blake fanfiction #the 100 #bellamy blake imagine #bellamy x reader #bellamy blake drabble #bellamy x clarke #bellarke #bob morley #bob morley smut #the100edit #clarke griffin #john murphy

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dolldefiler · 2 months

Note

This isn't the first ask I've sent you- you already know how much I love your writing! But would you ever consider writing more public sex scenarios?

Something like a girl getting fucked on a crowded subway train, with other passengers pressed up against her. It starts out subtle, with him trying to see how much he can get away with, but soon he's fucking her so good they both stop caring if anyone sees. Maybe no one does see- maybe one or two people notice and flush and look away- hell, maybe the whole subway car catches on and she's suddenly surrounded by people gasping and staring and taking photos, all while this guy's cock is just destroying her, with her eyes rolling back and drool dripping down her lips.

Maybe at that point he gives up all pretense of secrecy and just slams her against the wall or throws her over a chair, or rips off her clothes right where they're standing, while the other passengers scatter out of the way. She'll have to finish her commute in torn, ruined clothes, with cum all over her and a fucked-out expression that just won't go away. (can you tell I've thought about this more than I'd care to admit? i've had lots of long commutes, lol)

Anyway. No pressure to write something like that, since I know how busy you are. But if inspiration strikes, and you have time…well. I'd really appreciate it <3

Hello, hello, I've not done too much public scenarios but I wrote this based off your very wonderfully written ask. I hope I've not butchered it, and thank you so much for the inspiration! I'll try to work on more pieces :)

C/W: Public sex, rape

Hello there, miss. Hush. Quiet now. You wouldn’t want them to see what I’m doing to you now, would you? You wouldn’t want the other passengers to see me molest your fat ass, would you? That’s a good girl. No, no, there’s no need to cry. Once I get my fill of your gorgeous fucking body, I’ll leave. You know me, don’t you? We’ve taken the same train for months now. Every morning I have to endure your perfect fuckdoll body passing by me without being able to touch it. Not today.

Shh, quiet now. God, was that moan? Don’t tell me you like some stranger slipping his hands up your blouse to fondle your tits? Does your boyfriend not feel up your tits as well as I do? Mhm? Yeah, it is. Yeah, that’s my cock. Do you like it? Do you like my big, hard cock pressed up against you? If I slipped it in you right now, do you think the guy next to you would notice? God, do you think he fantasises about your slutty body as much as I did?

Shit… FUCK-, well I guess there’s no need to be quiet. Fuck, fuck, fuck, you feel so much better than I imagined. Your cunt’s gripping my dick like you’re a natural whore. God, look at that. Everyone’s looking at you. They’ve even- fuck yes- they’ve even got their phones out. Look! You’re going to be a pornstar now!

Get off that seat. I’m going to fuck her on it. Let’s get you settled here… Shit, yes. Shit, your pussy’s a premium fucking fleshlight, isn’t it? God, you don’t need this blouse, do you? Let’s just tear it off you. God, look at those fucking tits swinging while I bounce you up and down my cock. What a lewd fucking sight it must be for our audience.

God yes, get on your knees. You look so pretty with those glazed eyes. Let’s finish them off with some thick cum. Shit, this is the best train journey I’ve had with you. Fuck yes, it’s coming. I’m CUMMING. Ugh, let’s paint your face with my cum.

Anyone want a picture? She's real cute like this, isn't she? Does anyone know where she works?

#public kink #r@pe fantasy #rough kink #rapekink #rapedoll #r@pe kink

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crljhnn · 1 year

Text

The older Jefferson

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader

Summary: After Rowley announces that his older (half-)sister, who lives quite far away and has never met the Heffleys, is going to visit him over the break Susan invites his family over for dinner. Her not being what Rodrick expects, he starts crushing, which results in him trying to impress her - failing horribly.

No physical description; No use of y/n

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi, just a quick warning that English isn’t my first language and that this is also the first time I’ve ever written a longer text in English that isn’t a school assignment. I also don’t fully understand Tumblr yet, which makes me honestly a bit anxious to post.

[This and a gender-neutral version are also posted on AO3]

“Why haven't you ever mentioned that you have an older Sister?” Rowley and Greg were sitting on the Heffleys living room floor - Rodrick occupying the whole space on the couch - playing a video game. Well, Greg was. It was a single-player. He promised they would take turns, but by now Rowley had been over for about two and a half hours and hadn’t even had the chance to touch the controller yet. He gave up on asking and settled on just watching about 45 minutes in.

“I talked about her before. Multiple times actually.” That is true. Rowley looks up to his sister a lot “Also, she is technically my Half-Sister. She’s been living with her Dad for longer than I remember. Normally we are the ones flying over to visit during summer break, but she hasn’t visited since she was a little Kid, and after her school schedule finally allowed it, we thought it would be a good idea if she, for a change, came here instead.”

“It sounds like you two get along great!” Mrs. Heffley walked in, holding a laundry basket under one arm while carrying Manny with the other.

“We do! I can’t wait to show her my room and have her around for the entire break! I have so much planned out already, it's gonna be so much fun! Best summer ever!”

“That sounds lovely Rowley, I wish Greg was so excited to hang out with Rodrick, but they just won't get along.” Susan sighed, throwing a pitiful glance at her two oldest, who simultaneously let out a laugh hearing this.”

“Yeah, never gonna happen.” Greg says, “I would rather spend the whole summer in school than voluntarily hang out with this idiot.”

“My Sister is actually around the same age as Rodrick.” Rowley buts in. Greg doesn’t understand how this is relevant, but it probably adds to his mother's yearning for her two oldest sons to get along. Rodrick lets out a laugh hearing that.

“I can’t wait to meet them. Just imagine an older, female version of Rowley. That’s actually fucking hilarious!”.

“Watch your language! Also, I'm sure she is wonderful.” Gregs Mom loosens her lecturing stance, turns around, and smiles at Rowley “I would love to have you and your family over for dinner sometime. It has been a while since I’ve seen your parents and I would love to meet your sister.”

“That sounds great Mrs. Heffley. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home!”

That brings us to about a week later, when the Jefferson family, including their oldest daughter, is standing in front of the Heffleys House, ringing their doorbell.

Rowley has been telling you all about his best friend Greg for years, which made you somewhat excited about finally meeting him. However, you can’t say that the picture your brother painted is entirely positive, finding him rather irritating in many of the stories you were told over time. You aren't too mad though, assuming it is normal for young, teenage boys to act like jerks every once in a while. Not everyone can be such a sweetheart as Rowley. Overall you're glad your brother managed to maintain such a long-lasting friendship.

And then there was Rodrick. You've heard rather interesting stories about him as well. In the beginning, you found those quite amusing, that was until you realized that Rowley was genuinely terrified of him. Not the best first impression someone could make on you. Influenced by seeing your younger sibling grow up to be such a sweet and genuine person you tend to be a bit protective from time to time.

You hear some hushed voices from inside, and you can identify one of them as female, reminding someone to behave. Then the door opens and a woman, who you assume to be Mrs. Heffley, kindly smiles at you. Your suspicion is confirmed a second later when she introduces herself and shoos you into the house, before continuing to greet the rest of your family.

Crossing the threshold you can now see a man standing slightly behind Greg's mother. He introduces himself as Frank, making quite a kind impression on you. Then he leads you into the living room to meet his sons.

The two older ones hardly even notice you at first, too occupied with arguing and rowing with each other.

“Boys!”, their father speaks up, successfully catching their attention. Rather comically their gazes fall from their father to you, their eyes widening and their mouths dropping open. You were not what they expected. While Greg looks just shocked, you would describe Rodricks state as mesmerized.

He recovers fast, pushes Greg off of him, stands up, and puts on what he hopes is a charming smile. Extending his hand he starts to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m-”

At least he tries to.

“Rodrick. I know. My brother has told me one or two rather interesting stories about you”, your smile is sharp. He gulps, his confident smile turning sheepish, cursing Rowley in his head. You are not what he expected and you are definitely not anywhere close to being a female carbon copy of your, in his eyes, embarrassing younger brother.

He normally wouldn’t consider himself the kind of person who has a type, but from now on, if someone asked, he would probably revert to describing you. You were just ethereal, everything about you was attractive to him. The way you walked, talked, and carried yourself, but also your clothing and hairstyle. Your pretty face just rounds up your whole appearance, making you all the more alluring.

He had to get on your good side. While a family dinner, especially with Greg present, may not be the best opportunity, he could ask Rowley to put in a few good words for him. That kid was easily influenced (or intimidated). Still, making the best possible impression over dinner wouldn’t cause any harm either.

You turn to the other boy who has been silently watching the exchange. Now that your attention is on him he starts feeling nervous as well. Your expression, however, turns a bit more friendly.

“And you must be Greg.” he nods. You introduce yourself and lastly say hello to Manny who is sitting on the floor playing with some figurines. By now the others have entered the room, causing Susan to start leading you all to the dining table.

You’re seated between Rowley and Greg, across from Rodrick, which results in quite frequent eye contact. On one side you really want to intimidate him a bit. This could maybe make your brother's life a bit easier, at least for the time being. On the other side, you do want to make some conversation, maybe throw in a bit of (family dinner appropriate) flirting or at least find out if he’s single.

It’s really hard to hold a grudge against someone who is entirely your type.

While you’re conflicted, Rodrick, on the other hand, is sweating. Nervously fidgeting in his seat. You didn’t seem as irritated with him anymore, if the eye contact was anything to go by. Was this his chance to redeem his shitty first impression? He cursed his brain for failing to come up with something cool to say.

Since when is it so hard to talk to girls? Is it getting hotter in here? What impresses girls? What does he normally brag about? His band! That’s it. Now he just has to bring it up somehow. Maybe he can bribe Greg to ask him about it. No, that’s too risky, he can’t count on Greg to not fuck this up. He is just going to casually bring it up ‘I’m in a band by the way, pretty sick huh?’ ‘Do you like music? Cause I’m in a band’ No that’s stupid everyone likes music… ‘Which kind of music do you listen to?’ That’s good, he should bring up the topic of music first, that’s a normal conversation topic. After that step two is to bring up the band. That’s easy, he got this.

Now he just needs to wait till your attention is on him again and then he can smoothly lead the conversation in the desired direction. He has to calm down, he can do it.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m in a band!” He speaks way louder than intended, his voice is squeaky, and in the middle of the sentence he has the most embarrassing voice crack imaginable.

Silence.

The sole attention is now on him. All he hears is Greg's snickering which causes him to kick him under the table.

“Ow!” That was not Greg's leg. He looks up to see you looking at him with a questioning expression.

That’s it. He fucked up. His chances were already low, but he still managed to shrink them even more, making them most likely completely vanish. Great. His ears were ringing, all he can hear is Greg's quiet laughter in the background.

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to kick you, I-” he starts his apology but loses track of what he is trying to say when he sees your expression change. You're clearly trying to suppress a smile, but it's not working at all.

“You’re adorable.” Rowley chokes on his food, and Greg's laughter abruptly stops

“Rodrick? Adorable?” That’s it. Greg gives up on ever trying to understand girls. How can his stupid older brother embarrass himself like that, then kick the poor girl under the table and still be perceived as adorable by her, especially since she is so much out of his league?

Rodrick however, was still not functioning properly.

“So that band, is its name by any chance Löded Diaper?”

“Yeah.” He is proud of himself for speaking at an appropriate volume without stuttering. “How do yo-”

“I saw your creepy white Van in front of the house. What’s up with that, kidnapping little kids as a side hustle?” You are still smiling, and with your stupid joke you somehow manage to relax the atmosphere a bit, the adults going back to their conversation.

Rodrick too is now smiling, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as lovestruck, even though you just insulted him.

He is contemplating making a joke about how the space in the back could be quite useful for more than just trapping kids but decides against it, fearing to make it awkward again. Getting nervous about taking too much time to come up with an answer he instead lands on “No only kidnapping pretty girls like you.”. As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it, realizing it's in fact not a funny and flirty thing to say, but honestly rather creepy.

At the end of the evening, Rodrick has messed up flirting with you multiple times, however, it’s his luck that you find his desperate attempts to look cool to impress you weirdly endearing. Not that he realizes that. Calling Rodrick confused, questioning why you were still talking to him, would be an understatement.

He certainly doesn’t know how he can have messed up so many times and still end up finding a little note with your number on it in his pullover hood after you left.

#rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley #fem!reader #diary of a wimpy kid #fluff #first meeting #oneshot #x reader #reader insert #fanfic

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vampykween · 5 months

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Second Chances (part 1)

i wanted to write about singledad!ghost x teacher!reader (which is so self indulgent as im a teacher hehe) and thus this was born summary: little poppy is simon riley's entire world and you've just had yours turned completely upside down. despite everything, it seems like everything falls into place when you're with each other. this is going to be a little series - i already have a few drabbles written and have l more ideas up my sleeve, but feel free to let me know all of yall's ideas too!! dedicated to @suimon since you love my dad!ghost so much hehe mwah

Simon is just short of pulling his hair out. He’s spent all morning wrestling with a five-year old who, last night was bouncing off the walls excited about her first day of school, but now is inconsolable and quite frankly working his last nerve.

“Poppy, love, please just get dressed. We don’t have all morning for you to mess about.”

Poppy shrugs her shoulders and blows a raspberry right in her father’s face. “Let me go, I’m not going to school,” the five-year old squirms in her father’s grasp, less than thrilled at the prospect of getting dressed for school.

Simon briefly considers whether he should invest any more energy into their morning battle or if he should just concede and let his daughter win this round. Despite her protests, he keeps his hold on Poppy and tries his best to calm her down enough to reason with her. Sometimes Simon couldn’t believe this was his life, he was tussling with his daughter about getting ready for school, when in a past life all he was ever worried about was backing his team throughout a mission. He used to be a trained killer now the only thing he’s an expert at is making silly voices for all the book characters at bedtime.

“You were so excited about school just last night, what happened lovie, what’s going on with you?”

Poppy just stares at him with her big doe eyes, the ones that look exactly like her mother’s, and makes Simon’s chest ache painfully. It’s moments like these that make him feel like the grief would never end.

After a drawn-out minute, she finally squeaks out, “What if I don’t like school? What if people are mean to me?” Simon’s heart breaks at his little girl’s admission, he, of course, worried about those things too; he wasn’t sure he even wanted to send her off for hours every day, but he also knew that Poppy could handle it.

Simon grasps both of her much smaller hands, “You’re the best girl I know, what’s not to love yeah? I’m sure you’ll make lots of friends, sweetheart.” Simon isn’t sure who he’s reassuring more at this point, but he’ll say anything to get them both through this day and all the ones that come.

Poppy sighs loudly and by something short of a miracle, she concedes with getting dressed; Simon let her pick out her own outfit, in hopes that it would rekindle her previous excitement. It helped, but only marginally.

Standing in the doorway of the classroom, is not the teacher Simon had been expecting. When he thought of teachers, he imagined either super strict, uptight older women or bright and bubbly young women fresh out of university. You were neither of those – you wore a bright smile that reached your eyes, and your voice had the most warm and comforting lilt to it. Contrastingly, you were dressed head to toe in an all-black outfit, but it didn’t make you look dark and dreary, no, on you it worked quite well. Poppy finally, but reluctantly revealed herself from behind her father’s legs, and stepped forward to greet her new teacher.

“Hi! What’s your name?” you were clearly not from anywhere near, and Poppy immediately comments on it.

“My name is Poppy, like the flower, and you talk very funny.”

Simon groaned, “Poppy, that’s not very polite, love.”

“No, no it’s alright. It’s not the first time I’ve heard that this morning,” you laugh breezily, not affronted by the little girl’s observation. The sound of your laugh is like a mirage in a desert, and Simon is taken aback at how much the sound affected him. You crouch down and introduce yourself to Poppy, then rise to greet Simon as well. You hold out your hand, clearly in an attempt to shake his, and he shakes his head to clear his stupor and takes your hand. Your hands are much smaller than his own, and much softer, not calloused from battlefields and the hardships of life.

❀

You hope you’re coming off as a well put together adult, one who’s supposed to be in charge of people’s most precious gifts. Threatening to ruin your façade is the fact that you’re shaking hands with quite possibly the hottest man you’ve seen since you upturned your life and moved to London a few months ago. This is your student’s dad, jesus get a grip, you hastily remind yourself. You can’t help yourself though, and your eyes are roaming over his massive hands searching for a wedding band. You’re not sure whether it’s a good thing or not when you see there isn’t one. He’s hot, but he’s got a child, and you’ve just had your heart shattered into a million pieces this summer. The last thing you need is to be lusting after your student’s unreasonably hot father.

You’re not even sure you want to be here; nothing had gone the way you planned and now you’re a million miles away from your family – who had forewarned you that your ex maybe was not worth moving across the world for, but you were in love, you didn’t want to hear that.

Poppy, who seemingly gained some confidence, breezes past her father and finds her way easily into the classroom. You looked back up at her father, realizing you hadn’t caught his name – he tilts his head ever so slightly at you as if he’s trying to discreetly assess you and it makes your palms sweat.

“I didn’t catch your name, can’t call you Poppy’s dad all year now, can I?” you prod causally, laughing despite the stifling air that was forming between you two.

“You can call me Simon,” he replies elusively and suddenly you’re overcome with the feeling that there’s something mysterious about this man – and as attractive as he is, the revelation also makes you feel unnerved.

taglist: @happy-mushrooms @lunamoonbby

banners from @reveriesources and @cafekitsune pic creds: @ave661

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #dad!ghost #dad!simon #simon ghost riley fluff #oc: poppy #second chances au #mic writes

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neowinestainedress · 1 year

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hello!!!! I'm not sure if you're taking requests rn but I just wanna let this out of me or I'll go insane. I've been watching a lot of diggity haechan fancam and man really know how to hip thrust. It's just that haechan's thighs are so muscular...I-I—just wanna ride it😳😳

w!: unprotected s*x, thigh riding, light degradation, (kinda mean) dom!haechan, two *ss slap and one cl*t slap, rough s*x

a/n: someone: haechan’s thighs— me: FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD. i’ve written about thigh riding with him already but will it ever be enough? no. ALSO diggity!haechan? supreme haechan, coming second to better than gold!haechan only. also, hard hours are open, and i’ll either write drabbles or blurbs depending on the inspiration (this was supposed to be a blurb and turned out longer than a drabble but yeah… yall know what happens when I write about haechan)

Imagine Haechan sitting on the couch, tired after a long day. He’s so tired he doesn’t even change into his house clothes, still wearing the white blouse and tight black pants, watching the tv because when he got home you were in the shower and he is waiting for you.

You’re wearing his favourite nightwear when you sit next to him on the couch, kissing him and running your fingers in his hair to welcome him home, but by chance, there’s his favourite movie on tv, and he’s barely paying you attention. So in a second, you’re on top of his thigh, you’ve been thinking about this since he left earlier in the morning, drooling when he walked past you to bid you goodbye, wearing those black pants that wrap his beautiful thighs so perfectly. But now he looks even better, with his black hair crowning his face messily, the white blouse with the sleeves rolled up, showing the veins of his arm, and the first three buttons undone. Your hips start moving on their own, grinding on his thigh that flexes immediately as an innate reflex, you might do this so often that he’s not even fazed anymore.

But this time he’s tired, even annoyed about some things that went wrong at work, and you distracting him, ignites a fire.

“What are you doing?” Haechan groans, bouncing his leg, catching you by surprise before he calls your name sternly when you don’t reply right away.

“What you should be doing instead,” you reply resolutely. “Didn’t even spare me a look.”

“Oh, I did,” he coos, hand running on your nape to turn you toward him. “I know exactly what you want when you get all dolled up for me.”

A victory smile curls your lips but it fades as soon as his attention goes back to the screen on the wall. “I fear you’ll have to work for it harder.”

You groan annoyed, but don’t stop. You honestly don’t care much, the obsession with his thighs is crazy and unhealthy and you’d ride them forever, you’d rather feel his skin than the fabric of his pants, but this will do anyway.

“Hyuck,” you breathe out when he starts bouncing his leg, it’s a small movement but it makes you shake every time your sensitive clit hits his leg.

“I’m watching the movie,” he shuts you before a smug grin blooms on his face when you grunt in disappointment. That still doesn’t stop you from rolling your hips on him, and even bravely reaching down to unbuckle his pants. His eyes skim down briefly, but he lets you continue, even if he fakes nonchalance his dick is hard and begging to be freed from his tight clothes.

“You really can’t fucking listen, uh?” He groans when you struggle pushing his pants down, harshly grabbing your chin and blocking your wrists together.

“I just wanted to take your pants off, want to feel you,” you try to pout and pity him, it works for now but you know Haechan always has something up his sleeve, so you don’t know what awaits you after. He lets you go, getting rid of his pants only, and roughly lifting you up to put you right where you were before once he’s done.

“Come on, get off only with that, show me how pathetic you are,” he mocks before pulling you into a messy, wet kiss, slapping your ass to silently tell you to move. Your body reacts naturally, grinding on his muscular thigh, now feeling his smooth skin and not the thick fabric of his clothes. Haechan lets out another groan when you move again, this time to push your clothes down your legs, but doesn’t say anything else, only pushes you down and guides your movements. His attention is still on the movie, but you hear his occasional shaky breaths when your thigh brushes against his throbbing cock, or when you moan louder, and you feel his hand tighten on your hip when you start whimpering his name.

“Fuck,” you yelp when his hand hits your ass harder than last time. “What was that for?”

“You’re slowing down,” he says, dark eyes meeting yours, and you know you’re fucked. “You started this, you will finish this. Come on, don’t stop.”

You gulp, nodding weakly before placing your hands on his shoulders. This time you’d be so close to reaching your orgasm, but right when you’re about to, the sound of the tv turns off and the lights flashing in the room stop lighting it up. You freeze on the spot when Haechan groans your name.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, seeing you turned it off by mistake with your knee. You try to act fast to grab the remote and turn it back on but the pleasure is still fogging your brain.

“Drop it,” Haechan orders, voice low and eyes sternly looking at you. “You want my attention? You’ll have it all.”

Your lips part but don’t let out a sound, and your eyes snap open when his hand wraps around your neck, rubbing your jaw before reaching your chin and squeezing it. “Ride my thigh and come. Don’t make me waste more time.”

You don’t hesitate, humping him embarrassingly fast to chase the orgasm that slipped through your fingers.

“Jesus Christ,” he groans, “you can’t possibly be so wet just from this,” he mocks when his free hand moves between your legs, not that he needs that to feel your cum dripping out of you, it has been sticking to his thigh since you started, he just wants to mess with you and tease your sensitive spot while watching his skin glisten with your arousal.

“It feels good,” you justify. “And your thighs — fuck, your thighs,” you mumble, head thrown back and lower lip trapped in your teeth when he slaps your clit once. “They’re pretty and thick and feel so good.”

“Uh, really?” Haechan snickers, throwing his head back because he can’t believe you have no shame. “Maybe I’ll always make you come like this if you like it that much. My thighs only.”

“Yeah,” you cry out, bouncing and grinding, struggling to keep a rhythm and just wishing to quickly come. “But I also — fuck — I also want you.”

Haechan chuckles, shaking his head. “Thought my thighs were enough?” He teases, moving your head side by side in a mocking manner as he pouts close to your lips. “Need more?”

“Yes, yes, please,” you beg as one hand reaches for the back of his head and tangles in his hair. “I — I… oh, fuck,” you cry out when the orgasm washes over you before you can even say anything, hips and legs trembling as you move weakly to ride it before you collapse on him.

You don’t have time to take your breath that you find yourself with your back on the couch seat, Haechan harshly flipping you over and trapping you underneath him.

“Greedy, dumb baby, always playing with fire, not caring about what she gets herself into,” he mocks, pushing his sleeves up on his arm before placing you like he wants you with another rough tug. “Look at how wet you are, and all this just for my thighs?”

You nod, wetting your lips with your tongue, as you stare into his eyes before they skim down, watching him get rid of his underwear.

“You are a brat, and yet I always give you what you want. What am I gonna do with you?” He groans, shaking his hair out of his face as he leans down, rubbing the head of his cock on your wet pussy.

“Fuck me?” You ask nicely, blinking your eyes innocently.

Haechan groans. “Yeah, it’s the only way to teach a lesson, isn’t it?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, his dick is into you before you can even formulate a thought in your brain, taking your breath away from the first thrust.

“Fuck,” you curse, hands wrapping around his arms to hold onto something. His thrusts are hard, hitting you deep with every single stroke.

Haechan grins when your nails dig into his arms, and your head lolls back, eyes rolled in the back of your head and mouth wide. “Is it too much for you, baby? You don’t like my thighs so much anymore when they help me fuck hard into you?”

You’d glare at him if you’d have anything coherent running in your brain, but it’s filled with nothing but lust and need. “I can take it,” you still mumble.

“Oh, I know you can, that’s why you’re my favourite girl,” he hums, grabbing your legs and pushing them as flat as he can — and you can bend — to your chest. Your back arches in response, feeling him even deeper with each precise, hard thrust.

When his fingers make contact with your clit, your eyes snap open, throat closing for a moment as you feel like you’re slipping farther away from reality.

“Messy girl,” he taunts. “So wet my fingers are slipping. You planned this all day, didn’t you?” He says, breath uneven as pleasure starts overwhelming him too, your pussy gripping him tight, making it harder to move out of you, your chest heaving while your boobs look so pretty in the lace of your nightwear, and your moans filling his ear. “Couldn’t wait for me to come home to fuck you on the couch after riding my thighs like a needy, desperate thing.”

You nod swiftly, eyes closed as you feel the familiar knot in your stomach.

“Fuck, then come with me, babe,” he says, pushing you closer with a harsh tug on your hips as his hands wrap around your waist tightly, fucking into you with force. “Gonna fill you up, fuck, just like you like.”

Your back arches more, while your hands reach for his shoulders to pull him in a heated kiss that seals your orgasms and traps the loud whimpers and moans that are coming out of your mouths. You feel weak and dizzy as he keeps thrusting into you at a quick pace, filling the room with the lewd sounds of his cum spilling out of you, and whispering dirty words to your ear.

“Fuck babe, you’ll be the death of me,” Haechan huffs, kissing you and caressing your forehead to wipe away the sweat before pulling out of you and pulling you into his arms, trailing kisses on your neck and shoulder.

You chuckle, turning around to face him, tangling your legs with his. “Was this better than the movie?”

Haechan rolls his eyes. “You know you’re better than the movie, I just like teasing you.”

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

#anon answered #haechan smut #lee haechan smut #haechan hard hours #haechan hard thoughts #haechan scenarios #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut

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coldfanbou · 8 months

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Dream Day

Here is my one-year anniversary fic! It was a lot of work, considering the number of idols. That means it also got to be very long going by my usual length. It got pretty hard going into the later stages of writing. Anyway, expect a mommy kink, a little rough sex, and a small bit of a breeding kink.

Length 7.3K

Yuna, Chaeryeong, Swan, Dayeon, Jihyo, Eunbi, Eunha x M reader

Today was the day. You got ready to head to the address the company had given you. Your hands shook as you buttoned up your shirt. You could hardly believe that you had won the raffle.

A few months ago, you entered a special raffle held by one of the broadcast stations you had visited when you went for a music show. At the end of the long survey, it asked you various questions, like naming your top ten idols. You didn’t believe it would lead to anything, so you were shocked when you got a call about a date to receive your prize. Now dressed, you step out and follow the directions given to you until you reach an apartment. You stand outside, confused as to why you’d be given an apartment address instead of the studio or something of the like. Checking the address in case you made a mistake, it turns out that this was the place, an unsuspecting apartment building. You step inside and look around, noticing a woman standing behind a counter. You approach her and ask if you're in the right place.

“Excuse me; I got a call and text to be here to get a prize?” You say as you pull up the message on your phone and show it to the woman.

“You must be the person I was told about. Let me lead you to your room.” The woman stands from behind her desk and leads to one of the elevators. As you step inside, she presses the button for the top floor. “I hope you enjoy yourself, sir. I’ve been told you have a fantastic prize waiting for you inside.”

Nodding your head, you reply, “I wonder what it is? I haven’t been told anything about it. It could be anything, considering it’s from such a big company.”

Arriving on the top floor, the woman motions for you to get off. You do so and stand in front of a solitary door. The elevator goes down behind you, leaving you alone. Gathering your courage, you knock on the door three times. “Hello?” You hear some muffled scurrying on the other side of the door. The door slowly creaks open enough for a woman’s eye to poke out. She before looking down at something. The woman shuts the door and, in hushed tones, speaks to others in the room. Some movement goes on behind the door before it swings wide open. You’re stunned by the sight before you. Several idols are clad in the same style of lingerie, a short sheer nightgown that leaves little to the imagination. At the door is Eunha in the same lingerie, with a cute smile as she takes your arm and brings you inside.

“We’ve been waiting for you! Isn’t that right?” Eunha asks the others.

“Yeah!” They cheer back. You take in the faces here, noticing the big-breasted beauties Eunbi, Swan, and Jihyo first, then Chaeryeong and Yuna, and finally, there was Dayeon. The women's nightgowns suited them well; you do notice, though, that Swan, Jihyo, and Eunbi’s nightgowns seemed to be stretching across their large chests. Their nipples poked through more than the others due to the stretched fabric. The six women before you were lying down on the biggest bed you had ever seen; it comfortably fit them and had room for at least three more people. You continue to stare at the idols before it hits you that you had them listed as some of your favorites. There were a few others that you had written down that you didn’t see. You assume that some might have been busy and couldn’t be here.

You feel a pair of soft breasts squish against your arm; Eunha is holding your arm tightly. “Eunbi, you’re the oldest here. Read the card.” Eunha says, waving her hands at Eunbi. The eldest idol looked around for the card she was supposed to read, lifting the nightgowns of Jihyo and Chaeryeong as she began to look frantically.

“Just a second; I’m sure it’s here somewhere.” Yuna, Swan, and Dayeon start quietly laughing as Eunbi struggles.

“I think you’re sitting on it, Unnie,” Chaeryeong says. Eunbi raises her hips, and Chaeryeong sneaks her hand under the older woman. “Here it is.” Chaeryeong hands the card to Eunbi. She adjusts her hair, trying to play off her struggle.

“Welcome, winner! Your special prize for winning the raffle is a day with some of your favorite idols. Some were unable to make it, but from the list given to us, we were able to grant you the women before you who happily accepted. Please enjoy yourself; the fridge in the room is stocked with food and drink should any of you get hungry. Condoms, along with lube and sex toys, can be found in the drawers near the entrance.” Eunbi takes a deep breath after finishing the card's message. “That’s it.” The women look at you after Eunbi finishes reading the card. Eunbi takes notice, looking around the room before telling the women, “We should help him out of his clothes.” Eunha squeezes your arm, bringing your attention to her. She moves you closer to the bed, and the others help you along, bringing you down to the bed. As you lay down, Jihyo starts to undo your belt buckle and pull down your pants while Yuna and Chaeryeong struggle with your shirt. The others surround your body; you’re hard as you think about what they’re going to do to you. The growing bulge in your pants makes Jihyo's job a little harder, but as she leaves you in your underwear, your bulge attracts everyone’s attention.

The women look at each other, uncertain of who would go first. Dayeon puts her hand on your waistband, an eager smile on her face. Yuna and Swan quickly follow suit. They stare each other down before pulling down your underwear, revealing your member to them all. The room is quiet for a moment before you feel the cool touch of a hand on your shaft. You see Dayeon’s small hand trying to wrap around you as you look down. She takes up position between your legs; the women adjust themselves around you. Your head lays on the soft lap of Eunha while Eunbi sits on her side next to your head. Chaeryeong, Yuna, and Dayeon surround your nether region. Jihyo sits opposite Eunbi while Swan squeezes between Chaeryeong and Jihyo. Eunha runs her hand through your hair while you feel Dayeon’s soft hand move up and down your shaft; her gentle grasp makes you want more. You buck your hips, making the young women laugh. “Someone’s excited.” Jihyo teases.

Jihyo leans forward, her heavy breasts swaying back and forth gently, and her hands slowly come up to her chest as she pulls down the fabric. Eunha adjusts your head, letting you capture one of Jihyo’s nipples. You suckle on her breast, soft moans escaping her. Eunbi teases you, running the tip of her fingernail along your chest before she circles your nipple. Your cries are muffled as you feel someone take the tip of your cock into their mouth. That was what you believed was happening until you looked down and saw Dayeon, Yuna, and Chaeryeong kissing with your cock stuck in the middle. The pleasure overwhelms you, and you bite Jihyo’s breasts. “Ah! Keep going!” She moans. Swan moves around, laying her head on the side of your chest as she sucks on Jihyo’s other breast. The older woman continues to whine until Eunha’s kiss silences her.

You focus on the pleasure you’re receiving from Dayeon, Yuna, and Chaeryeong. Their tongues take turns lapping at the head of your cock. Yuna takes quick licks that give you a slight rush. Chaeryeong starts as low as she can, slowly moving her tongue up before flicking the head. You get shivers down your spine when you feel her tongue make that sudden change. Dayeon’s tongue gives you the most pleasure; she extends it far, ensuring she reaches every part of your tip, almost swirling it around your cock. To add to the fun, she speeds up her handjob before slowing back down during the other’s chances. You want more from them; as Dayeon takes her turn, you push her head down just enough for her to take in a little bit more. Chaeryeong and Yuna playfully yell as they see you push Dayeon’s head down. Dayeon’s lips stretch around your shaft; after her initial shock, she takes control. Dayeon bobs her head slowly, ensuring her tongue has the time to swirl around your shaft. She uses one of her hands to cup your balls, gently squeezing them as she focuses on the head. Dayeon looks up to see the pleasure on your face. The pleasure is quickly becoming too much for you.

“I’m going to cum.” You moan as you throw your head back onto Eunha's lap. Dayeon pushes her head further down, reaching your pelvis. You moan again, shooting your cum down Dayeon's throat. She keeps her eyes on you, watching you writhe around because of her. As you start to finish, she fills her mouth with the sticky substance. Dayeon pulls away from your cock, pressing her lips against the head as she leaves it. She glances at Yuna and Chaeryeong. The two women get under her and press their faces together while Dayeon lets your cum spill from her mouth onto them. Their faces are painted white, each woman trying to get as much as possible. Once Dayeon runs out, Chaeryeong and Yuna start to lap at one another's faces. You're hard again after watching them share your cum. You don't get much of a break, though; Jihyo and Swan replace Dayeon, Yuna, and Chaeryeong.

"Good to see you have a lot more energy left in you," Jihyo says, running her finger along your shaft. "We thought of something we could do for you." Jihyo eyes Swan, who lets her lingerie straps fall past her shoulders. Swan's large breasts bounce with their newfound freedom; opposite to Jihyo's breasts, Swan's have a large areola. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight of them; Swan catches you and blushes, seeing you lust after her. Your attention returns to Jihyo as she places your cock between her breasts. She gives you a few pumps before letting Swan join in. Squished between two pairs of soft tits, you moan again. Their tits caress your shaft softly, rubbing against you as they move up and down it. Wanting to tease you, both women use their hardened nipples, rubbing them against the head of your cock. You leak more and more precum as they continue their titjob. Jihyo and Swan's chests are soon covered in the stuff, making them slick. The women speed up; the others watch you squirm as you struggle to contain yourself. You continue to moan until Eunbi quiets you with a kiss. She explores your mouth as you fail to stop her.

Being surrounded by such beautiful women only makes the situation feel like more of a dream. You tilt your head back to see Eunha smiling as she looks down at you. You get the feeling that you shouldn't be the only one getting pleasured and break the kiss with Eunbi, "Eunha, I want to eat you." A slight blush crosses Eunha's face; she moves back, letting your head rest against the bed before moving back and leaving her cunt inches away from your face. "Sit on me, Eunha."

"But,"

"It’s what he wants, Eunha," Eunbi reminds the younger woman. Eunha lowers herself onto you. You drag your tongue along her slit; you hear her moans, but just barely. Eunha’s thick thighs block out most sound. Your tongue pushes past her folds and goes inside her. Eunha’s body shakes, and she starts to grind on you. It’s hard to focus on your job when you still feel the lonely pair of breasts working your now twitching cock. More weight is added to your body when some idols straddle your legs and arms. You’re sure that Eunbi moved your hand so it rubs against her crotch; you feel her warm wet cunt against your fingers. You slide them across her slit, slowly going back and forth, doing the same to the idol on your other hand. A chorus of moans starts to ring out in the room. Never had you imagined you’d hear the sounds of such unattainable women with your own ears; you input more effort into making them louder.

At that moment, though, you reach your limit and climax. Shooting ropes of cum out onto the chest of Jihyo and Swan, you hear the others cheer and laugh. There’s no time to rest, though; you continue to eat out Eunha, occasionally moving to flick her clit with your tongue before returning to her slit. Jihyo and Swan move away, and you hear chatter before Eunha rises off you. Eunha scoots back before putting you on her lap again, you see the sweat running down her heaving chest, and her face is bright red. “We’re about to get to the good part,” Eunbi says as she grinds against your hand. “You get to choose who you want to take first.”

“I get to choose?”

“Yes, you do,” Eunbi responds, a grin on her face.

“Maybe we should line up for him,” Yuna suggests. “He can see what tight little pussy he wants to fuck first.” You turn your head to your other hand, where Yuna is sat upon. She has a devilish smile on her face as she leans into you. “It’s gotta be nice getting to choose who you want your cock in first, huh?” You gulp, hearing her seductive tone.

“That’s a good idea!” Chaeryeong shouts from her position of riding your leg. The others quickly come to an agreement. They each back away from you and have you stand at the edge of the bed. They line up facing away from you. You had Swan, Jihyo, Dayeon, Eunha, Eunbi, Yuna, and Chaeryeong from left to right. You lick your lips, watching as each idol does something to attract your attention. Jihyo and Eunbi sway their hips from side to side, bumping into the others, while Chaeryeong and Eunha have the same idea of putting their head on the bed and raising their asses to you. Yuna turns her head to look at you while she spreads her cheeks apart, granting you a better look at her pussy. You struggle to resist Yuna and take up position behind her. She smirks, knowing she’s going to be the first one. Cock in hand, your rub against Yuna’s slit, coating yourself in her juices before pressing against her entrance. You lean over her and take a handful of her breast in your free hand, feeling the soft mound and making her moan as you push your way inside her. Yuna’s lips form an O as she coos. For the first half, you take it slow, letting her cunt get used to your size before eventually ramming the rest inside her. Yuna grimaces, and a grand moan rings out from her; you groan from the sensation of her cunt tightly wrapped around you, refusing to let go. You leave Yuna’s breast, slapping her ass as you start thrusting. Yuna’s tightly wrapped around your cock, making it difficult to pull out but easy to push yourself back in. The others watch as Yuna’s small body lurches forward with each thrust, her moans slowly getting faster and louder.

Wanting to make sure more of them enjoyed themselves, you slide your hands along to Eunbi and Chaeryeong’s nether regions. Your fingers slip inside of them and go as deep as possible. Their moans soon join Yuna’s as you pleasure the three beautiful women. Eunbi and Chaeryeong push their bodies against you to get more pleasure. You find Chaeryeong’s clit, and attack it, rubbing it quickly and without mercy. Her body shakes and twitches every time you flick it. You take a different approach with Eunbi, teasing her and making her whine as she becomes desperate for more. Your fingers curl and rub against her walls as you drag them out slowly before eventually pushing back into her.

Yuna gets your attention again as her arms lose strength, and she falls onto the mattress. “I thought you wanted this, Yuna?” You tease her. Yuna’s cunt tightens around you as you tease her. “Don’t you want me to cum in you? I might have to give it to someone else.”

“No, I want it,” Yuna whines as her cunt tightens again. You feel yourself get close to the edge as your cock twitches inside her. “Give it to me!” She yells as she starts to push her ass against your crotch.

You hear Eunha and Jihyo laugh at Yuna’s frustration; it encourages you to tease her. “Maybe, I’ll give to Chaeryeong instead. Do you want it, Chaeryeong?”

“P-please,” Chaeryeong moans; her body shakes as you overload her senses and make her reach her climax. She falls to her side, you watch her chest heave, and Chaeryeong rubs her cunt. “I want it, too,” she says softly.

On the very edge of cumming you slide your fingers out of Eunbi and grab Yuna’s waist. A flurry of wild thrust makes her scream as you fill Yubna’s cunt. On your final thrust, you impale Yuna, making sure she gets every inch as you fill her with your seed; you hold Yuna’s body up, making her look at the others as they stare back at her. Sliding your hand over her body, you pinch her nipples while enjoying the feeling of her cunt squeezing your cock for more cum.

Dayeon is already at your side when you pull out, ready to clean you off. You let her, enjoying how her small mouth felt when wrapped around your shaft earlier. You pat her head, watching as she bobbed her head and used her tongue to clean you off. “Do I get to go next?” She asks when she’s done.

“Hey, that’s cheating!” Swan yells. “You can’t try to convince him by giving him another blowjob!” Dayeon turns around, ready to argue. You let the subject go as you see Chaeryeong spreading her legs for you. On her back, she has her arms spread out, ready to take you. You crawl to her, aligning yourself with her cunt and thrusting your length in one motion. You hush her with a kiss and feel her body melt into yours as she wraps her arms and legs around you. Like Yuna, Chaeryoeng was tight, but her cunt felt more welcoming as it held you snuggly and caressed every part. You couldn’t help but thrust slowly, enjoying every natural curve and friction of Chaeryeong. You planted your lips on hers, feeling the softness as you explored her mouth. Chaeryeong’s tongue lazed around; she was still weak from her earlier orgasm. Chaeryeon’s legs push you in deeper, resting her head on your shoulder; you turn yours to see the others staring at you. You chuckle as you see Eunbi quietly reprimanding Dayeon and Swan.

Jihyo crawls her way over to Chaeryeong. “Chae, I think you should be pleasuring your Unnie too.” Bringing Chaeryeong out of her dream-like state, Jihyo separates your upper body from Chaeryeong and sits on the younger woman’s face, grinding on her. Jihyo leans forward and kisses you softly. “You couldn’t imagine how much of a good girl she is to the rest of my members,” Jihyo coos; she kneads her breasts, pulling on her nipples while staring you down. You feel yourself about to drool watching Jihyo ride Chaeryeong while she plays with herself. Jihyo’s eyes are half-lidded as she kisses you again. “I want you to pump my little girl with as much cum as possible. Fill her pussy.” You’re rock hard, hearing Jihyo command you in such a way. You start to thrust quickly, Chaeryeong’s muffled moans growing louder as she eats out Jihyo. Jihyo runs her fingertip along your chest, “After you fill Chae with your baby batter, I want you to do the same to me next.” Jihyo presses her lips against yours. “I’ll be your mommy from now on.” She whispers into your war.

“Yes, Mommy.” You moan back as you come close to your orgasm. “I’m going to cum.”

“Good, fill Chaeryeong. She wants to feel full.” You give Chaeryeong a few more thrusts, feeling your balls tighten and your cock twitch inside her moments before you unleash a wave of cum. You paint her walls white as in runs into her womb. Jihyo gives you a gentle smile before cupping your cheeks, “You’re such a good boy for Mommy.” She kisses you on the forehead before climbing off Chaeryeong. “Lay down; let Mommy do the work.” She commands.

You lay down, finally getting some rest. Looking to your side, you see Yuna and Chaeryeong recovering slowly. Turning your head back to Jihyo, she rests on your side, her hand wandering down to your softening cock. “That won’t do, baby. I want you to be really hard.”

“I’m sorry, Mommy.”

Jihyo places her finger on your lips, “Hush, I said I would take care of you.” You close your eyes momentarily, enjoying Jihyo’s touch as she strokes your shaft. Another hand soon joins her; Eunbi sits on the other side, her hand under Jihyo as they massage your cock together.

“Jihyo’s not the only mommy here,” Eunbi says with a grin. “We’ll take care of you together.”

Jihyo smiles, “Of course, our baby boy is going to like that isn’t he.” You nod your head, unable to speak from the pleasure. Jihyo moves her hand up to the head of your cock, rubbing it with her thumb in slow circles while Eunbi continues to stroke your shaft. “You had such big balls. You were ready to give us each a creampie, weren’t you?” You nod your head again, loudly moaning as you begin to coat Jihyo’s hand in precum. “Did you see that, Eunbi?”

“I did, Jihyo. Did you want to pump us with so much nice warm cum that we’d bear your children? You wanted to breed your mommies, didn’t you?” Their dirty teasing brought you closer to another orgasm, you hadn’t once thought about breeding them before today, but you couldn’t help but agree with them. Eunbi and Jihyo get by your ears, “Today is a special day, so we’ll let you have the chance. Breed your mommies.” They say in unison. Those words trigger your orgasm, and you cum in Jihyo’s hand.

She looks surprised before giggling, “Sorry, baby. I got too into teasing you. You’re still hard, though; time for me to enjoy my big bull.” She licks her fingers clean of your cum, staring at you while she does. Jihyo rises and straddles you; Eunbi teases the two of you, rubbing the head of your cock against Jihyo’s slit. “Enough teasing, Eunbi; I think he’s ready.” Eunbi chuckles as she aligns you with Jihyo’s cunt. Slowly sinking down on your cock you watch as Jihyo gasps before smiling at you. “You’re so big.”

Jihyo moves up and down your cock, each time taking more in. A slight bulge on her stomach shows how far along you are inside her. Eunbi slides one hand down her body as she fingers herself. She moves behind Jihyo, snaking her other hand up the younger woman’s body before grabbing her breast. Jihyo rolls her head back and moans as she feels Eunbi squeeze her breast. Jihyo’s pace slows down; she turns her head a kisses Eunbi, their tongues meeting in the middle. You rest your hands along Jihyo’s waist, keeping her from slowing down more and ensuring she takes every inch. Watching Jihyo’s heavy and slick breasts bounce each time she comes crashing down, you lean forward and take one in your mouth. Suckling on her tit, you watch as Jihyo gasps again. Her heavenly moans bouncing off the walls and filling the room. Eunib stops fingering herself and moves her other hand down to Jihyo's clit, softly rubbing it. Jihyo throws her head back. “You’re going to make me cum early. I want to enjoy this a bit longer, Eunbi,” she moans.

Eunbi smiles back at Jihyo, “I want my turn too. He was teasing me earlier.” Jihyo smirks as she starts rocking her hips back and forth, keeping the pleasure going but keeping herself from cumming too soon. You groan, getting their attention again. “Is our baby enjoying fucking his mommy?”

“Mommy’s pussy feels so good.” You moan; Jihyo slows her rocking, making sure you get to enjoy every part of her cunt. She clenches her muscles, making her grow tighter around you. Jihyo frees herself of Eunbi’s grasp and kisses you.

“Mommy is enjoying her good boy’s cock.” She moans. “I can’t wait for you to fill me with your cum. Enjoy this pussy while you can.” Jihyo places her hands on your chest and starts bouncing on your cock again. Her breasts hypnotize you as they jump up and down with every movement. You put your hands on them, feeling the soft mounds of flesh with your own hands as you knead them. Jihyo smiles and continues to bounce on you. Soon enough, her smile turns to a grimace; you feel her walls wrap tightly around your cock, signaling she’s close to cumming. A few more bounces, and you hear her groan, “Let’s cum together, baby. Fill me up.” You buck your hips upwards, helping yourself get over the finish line. You shift your hands to Jihyo’s waist and pull her down, burying your cock inside her. “Fuck!” Jihyo moans, throwing her head back as you pump your seed into her womb. She leans down, capturing your lips for the duration of your orgasms, rocking her hips back and forth, trying to milk you for more cum. Once your orgasm ends, Jihyo unmounts you, with cum running down her thighs. She pats your cheek, “You did great, baby.” Jihyo lies down by Yuna and Chaeryeong, watching as Eunbi replaces her. She fingers herself, pushing your cum deeper inside.

Eunbi straddles you next. “Did you enjoy the show, ladies?” She says, looking to the side. You turn to see Swan and Dayeon out of their lingerie, chests rising and sinking quickly. You lower your gaze to see their nether regions completely soaked; they had been fingering themselves while they watched Jihyo and you have sex. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“I did!” Eunha yells out in her bubbly voice; you glance at her. She’s still wearing her lingerie and looks to have been biding her time and restraining herself from masturbating.

Eunbi giggles, “Come get a closer look. There’s some more where that came from.” Dayeon, Swan, and Eunha circle you. Eunbi places your cock between her lips and your pelvis. She moves back and forth, adding her nectar to it as she gets you hard again. “My baby must be so sensitive after cumming so much. Do you still have cum for me?”

“Yes, Mommy.” You say in a low groan. Truth be told, you were getting tired. You wanted a bit of a break but were also determined to make each idol cum at least once before giving yourself one and letting them use the toys provided.

“Aw, poor baby.” Eunbi kisses your cheek, “I’ll make sure to reward you for all your hard work.” Feeling your cock grow hard between her lips, Eunbi readies herself and swallows your cock in one swift motion. “Oh, that’s it. You teased me so much earlier. Teasing my little pussy with your fingers.” Eunbi leans forward, her nipples dragging along your chest, “I’ll make sure to drain you of everything today, baby. It’s your little punishment.” She whispers into your ear right as she raises her hips and drops them back down. Eunbi remains by your head, kissing your neck as she rides you. You guide your hands down her smooth back to her ass, spanking her. Eunbi yelps, “Did you just hit Mommy?”

“I’m sorry, Mommy, you’re just too sexy.” You moan with a smirk. You roll over, forcing Eunbi onto her back. “Don’t worry, Mommy; I’ll make up for teasing you earlier.” Eunbi’s surprised at your sudden forcefulness. You take her legs and rest them on your shoulders. You give them a small kiss and start thrusting into Eunbi, watching as her breasts swing around from your strong thrusts. Eunbi’s pussy welcomed you; much like Chaeryeong, it caressed your shaft and head, nuzzling them with a pleasant tightness that made you moan loudly. “Swan, Dayeon, let’s make Mommy feel good.” Swan and Dayeon smirk, getting on either side of Eunbi; they attach themselves to her tits, sucking on them while their hands wander her body. Eunbi’s loud moans fill the room. The pleasure quickly consumes her as she feels the two younger women gently bite her breasts.

“Ah! You girls… are in so much… trouble,” Eunbi weakly moans. One of your hands goes down to Eunbi’s slit, circling her clit as you thrust. Eunbi whines at the influx of pleasure. Turning your head, you see Jihyo smirking.

She crawls over to Eunbi, “Eunbi, You haven’t gotten a taste of our baby’s cum yet; let me give you some,” Jihyo places Eunbi’s head between her legs and sits down, forcing Eunbi to eat her out. Eunbi is muffled for now as she eats your cum out of Jihyo. She stares you down while patting Swan and Dayeon’s heads. “You’re going to have to pump me with more of your cum, mister.”

“Of course, Mommy.” You reply. You start to put more force into your thrusts, enjoying the feeling of Eunbi’s walls splitting apart to make room for your cock. Jihyo moans in response, feeling Eunbi moan into her cunt. You feel Eunbi’s walls squeeze down on your cock. You figure she’s nearing her climax as the pleasure continues to mount for her. Swan and Dayeon shoot a glance at you, understanding that Eunbi is nearing her orgasm from both your increased moans. “I’m going to cum.” You groan, leaning forward. You apply more pressure on Eunbi; her legs touch Jihyo’s shoulder. She holds them in place as you stuff Eunbi with your cum. Eunbi’s tightening pussy was too much to handle, and you both cum at the same time. Jihyo quietly cums, too, filling Eunbi’s mouth with her nectar before climbing off. When you pull out, Swan, Dayeon, and Eunha watch as Eunbi’s pussy leaks a river of cum.

The three remaining women look at each other. Eunha bows out first, saying she’ll go last. Dayeon and Swan look like they’re going to start arguing again when Jihyo grabs their ears and pulls on them. “No arguing or neither of you will get to have sex today. Why don’t you play a game of rock paper scissors?” The two women grumble before eventually playing the game, with Dayeon winning. Dayeon sticks her tongue out, taunting Swan before getting in front of you.

She presents her ass to you, spreading her cheeks. “I want you to do it here. We’ll have lots of time for you to fill my pussy. I want anal first.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Dayeon says, shaking her ass for you. “Be rough with me. Today, I’m your little slut.” You hadn’t expected Dayeon to be like this. In your head, she was more of a pure idol. You shrug your shoulders; you didn’t want to argue with her, especially if she willingly let you do whatever you wanted tonight.

“I hope you don’t regret it.” You reply as you press the head of your cock against her asshole. You push the head in, spreading her apart. Her voice rings out in the room as you stretch her ass apart.

“Fuck, you’re so big.” Dayeon lays her head on the mattress and bites the bedding, trying to bear the pain. Dayeon’s asshole was tighter than anything you had experienced with the others. You grab her arms and pull on them as you push your hips forward. Dayeon’s pained expression continues as you push deeper into her. Nearly all the way inside, you impale her and thrust the rest in. She howls in pain, following it by saying, “I’m okay, I’m okay. Just give me a little bit of time.” You pull on her arms, raising her upper body. Swan makes her way up to Dayeon and teases her cunt, her way of getting revenge by making Dayeon cum and ruining her turn. Dayeon can barely move, making it difficult for her to resist. You hear some cheers from the side and see the others have recovered and are watching on. You start thrusting, feeling encouraged by the others. Dayeon's tight asshole makes you moan loudly as you split her apart with every thrust. She whines as the pain turns to pleasure, and Swan toys with her. “No, stop it.” She complains helplessly.

“I don’t want to,” Swan says as she finds Dayeon’s clit. Dayeon roars as Swan flicks her clit; you feel her asshole tighten around you.

“Swan, keep doing that.” Dayeon turns her head with a look of betrayal. Swan continuously plays with Dayeon’s clit as you thrust in earnest. You feel her asshole tighten and relax around you in a pattern. “Fuck, your ass is amazing, Dayeon.” You groan. Dayeon seems happy to hear that you enjoy her body and stops resisting Swan’s touch. Your thrust becomes quicker as Dayeon’s anal walls are coated in a layer of cum and the other’s nectar. The slick cavern makes you get closer to your orgasm as you’re now able to thrust with ease. Dayeon inches closer to her orgasm and tries to hold on but can’t. Her asshole tightens once again around you, and her body shakes. You let go of one of Dayeon’s arms, spanking her for cumming too quickly.

“More, please!” Dayeon yells. You smack her ass again, a loud clap from the contact filling the room. You continue to send your hand crashing into her bottom, making it glow red as you reach your orgasm. Dayeon feels your cock begin to pulse inside her; she tries to squeeze down on it and forces your orgasm. You drive your cock deep into Dayeon and fill her asshole with cum. You rest against Dayeon’s body until there’s a tap on your shoulder. You turn your head to see Yuna with a devious smile. She’s holding a but plug.

“Put this in her when you pull out.” She whispers into your ear. You chuckle and follow along, taking the plug. You pull out slowly, only an inch at a time, thrusting back in before pulling another inch out. Dayeon moans with every movement; when you finally pull out, she coos softly before yelling as you push the anal plug inside her.

“You’re going to keep that inside you for the rest of the day.” You say as she turns to face you. She looks annoyed, but you remind her she said you could do anything, even though those weren’t her exact words. Dayeon moves to the side, waddling as she rubs her used ass. You notice her adjust herself as she struggles to find a comfortable sitting position. Eventually, she just chooses to lie on her side.

Swan was the penultimate girl in this first wave. You stare at her large breasts, her big nipples attracting most of your attention. She notices your stare and offers her breasts to you, holding them up. They’re slick with your cum from earlier, now thoroughly rubbed into her skin. You cup one of her large breasts, kissing it gently before latching onto it. Your tongue swirls around her small nub before flicking it. Swan contains her moans for the moment. You push her on her back, remaining attached to her throughout. You rub your cock along her slit, teasing her until you hear her say, “Please, I need you to put it in. I’ve waited for so long.” Her sincere words make you follow along. You push against her cunt, past her nectar-covered lips and inside of her. Swan’s pussy held you the most gently. You unconsciously moaned as you buried yourself inside her. She wraps her arms around you, holding you tightly.

“Please be gentle.” You nod and start moving, slowly pulling out and pushing back in. Swan’s soft moans were worlds apart from Dayeon’s rough screams earlier. Your thrusts eventually pick up the pace, but you make sure to be gentle with Swan. You kiss her occasionally before returning to her breasts, paying them equal attention. You revel in the feeling of Swan’s walls gently clamped around your cock. It was as if she was constantly trying to milk you of your cum. You wouldn’t last too much longer, especially considering how sensitive you were becoming due to the series of orgasms you’ve had.

Luckily for you, it seemed like Swan wouldn’t last much longer either, she squealed with every thrust, and her grip on you was slowly tightening. “Are you going to cum?” You ask her.

She nods her head, “Sorry, I’m not used to having sex. I mostly masturbate, and your cock feels too good. I feel so full.” Her voice is wavering, struggling to keep itself together. You look at Swan; her eyes are shut as she tries to hold on. She’s biting her bottom lip. You cup her face and kiss her. Swan’s resolve weakens, and she climaxes. Shed moans into the kiss, her legs wrap around your waist, and her walls clamp down with force on your cock. You let go simultaneously, filling her with your semen. Swan maintains the kiss until she feels your stop pumping her full of cum. You struggle to pull out, your stamina reaching its limit.

You manage it somehow, rolling over beside Swan, who seems beyond tired as she rests with her eyes closed. Your cock softens as Eunha places her head on your arm. Your favorite idol rested her head on your arm and stared at you. You want to say something but can’t. “I know you’re tired. If you’re too tired, we can stop here and get back to it later.” She says.

“But you’ve waited so long. I want to make you feel good too.” Eunha smiles at you, pinching your cheek.

“I know; I saw your list. I was at the very top, that’s why I waited my turn. If you really want to, I’ll help you get it back up right now.”

“Please, Eunha.”

“Alright.” Eunha lays her body on yours, trapping your softened cock between her smooth thick thighs. “Are you ready?” You nod your head, and Eunha starts moving her lower body, raising and lowering her hips. With your cock trapped between her thighs, Eunha makes use of them. Her soft flesh strokes your sensitive cock, and you groan.

“Thank you, Eunha.”

“Thank you,” Eunha responds, kissing you afterward. Her soft lips refuse to leave yours; you feel the passion behind her kiss. Slowly but surely, your cock stiffens and rises between her thighs. “There, all ready,” Eunha says with a smile. “How do you want me?”

“Anyway,” You respond without a second thought. Even you weren’t sure what you meant. Eunha climbs off you and lays on her back. You kneel before Eunha, staring at her. She blushes and stretches her arms out toward you. Her legs are spread, and she’s ready to accept you. You fall into her embrace; she wraps her arms around you with a warmth you can’t describe.

“I want you to put it in.” Eunha slithers one hand down her body, down the smooth fabric of her nightgown, and to her pussy. She spread her lips for you. “Please, put it in.” You gulp; there’s a sudden pressure to perform hitting you. You align yourself with Eunha’s special place and push yourself inside. She gasps, feeling you push your way inside. You feel connected to Eunha in a different way, and you both moan as you hit your hilt and are fully inside. “You’re in.” Eunha moans. She leans up; you understand what she wants and kiss her. Eunha’s legs slowly wrap around you, gently cradling your body. Her arms rest behind your neck. You stare into her eyes, and she stares back. Eunha gives you a nod, and you start moving. Soft moans escape both of you; your hands rest on Eunha’s thighs, occasionally giving them gentle squeezes as your struggle to hold on. “It’s okay; you can cum.”

“But Eunha-”

She shakes her head, “It’s okay.” You thrust again, pushing your cock deep inside of Eunha and filling her with cum.”Ah, it’s so warm.” You stay hard somehow and continue thrusting past your orgasm, surprising Eunha. “But you just came.”

“I want to make you feel good, too, Eunha.” You keep the same pace as before, giving Eunha soft kisses that she returns. Being incredibly sensitive, your cock twitches inside of Eunha again almost immediately. Knowing that Eunha was okay with it, you cum again. She moans louder, feeling you unload yourself again so quickly. Despite that, you continue thrusting, a pool of warm cum being created as you continue to fill Eunha. Just as much comes spilling out as you put in her. “I’m sorry I can’t perform at my best, Eunha.”

You feel her arms leave your neck before her hands cup your cheeks. “You’re doing more than enough. I’m getting close, just a little bit more.” Eunha leans in for another kiss; you continue your thrusts. Eunha’s cum filled cunt grows tighter around your cock, and you feel her grip on your face grow stronger. “I’m cumming.” She moans. “I want to cum together.”

You hold your orgasm in, thrusting a little bit quicker. Eunha’s legs are crossed behind your back and pushing you in. “I-I love you, Eunha.” You moan as you climax.

“I love you too!” Eunha cries as she orgasms. The two of you kiss, and your cum floods her womb as you become one.

When it’s over, and you break the kiss, you hear cheers and teases from the others. “Ooh, look at the lovebirds!” Yuna yells while pointing.

Eunbi and Jihyo clap for you, smug smiles on their faces. “Ya, did you have to confess in front of us?” Chaeryeong has a sincere smile, but the thumbs-up she holds seems a bit sarcastic. Dayeon and Swan don’t pay attention; they remain bickering.

When you turn your head back to Eunha, you see she’s bright red. “Ahh, I feel so embarrassed! I forgot they were watching!” She says while covering her face.

You give Eunha a kiss on the forehead. “You’re not the only one. They were so quiet I forgot about them too.” You whisper to her. Eunha peeks through her fingers to see you. “Could you let me go now?” You ask her.

“Oh, right.” Eunha uncrosses her legs, and you pull out of her. Only now do you all get a full view of the pool surrounding Eunha. Everyone is surprised at the size of the pool.

“So are we going to keep going, or has this turned into a you and Eunha thing?” Yuna asks. You feel a bit embarrassed and look at Eunha.

“Let’s give him some time to recover, and then we’ll continue!” She shouts. “I’m going to take a shower really quickly.” She announces.

Eunbi takes control of the situation as Eunha makes her exit with you in tow. “Everyone! Use the toys we have in the meantime!” You and Eunha retreat to the bathroom, where you clean yourselves up and get to talk things through.

#kpop smut #male reader #m reader #twice smut #gfriend smut #viviz smut #jihyo smut #eunha smut #itzy smut #yuna smut #chaeryeong smut #purple kiss smut #swan smut #kep1er smut #dayeon smut #eunbi smut #izone smut

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undying-love · 1 month

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Paul being very secure about his sexuality: A compilation

"The reason why we didn’t do Up Against It wasn’t because it was too far out or anything. We didn’t do it because it was gay. We weren’t gay and really that was all there was to it. It was quite simple, really. Brian was gay…and so he and the gay crowd could appreciate it. Now, it wasn’t that we were anti-gay – just that we, The Beatles, weren’t gay."

“It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, ‘Hello, Paul, you’re looking nice today.’ I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my hunting of the female hordes. I think we all gave that impression."

Q: You must be very secure with yourself.

Paul: I think it is that. I'm OK with gay people, too, because I'm essentially comfortable with my sexuality. I can goof around with gay people. I sort of know who I am by now. And it's about time.

"I imagine he heard it [Dear Friend]. I think he listened to my records, but he never responded directly. That wasn't his way. We were guys; it wasn't like a boy and a girl. In those days you didn't release much emotion with each other."

"One thing he told us was that one in every four men is homosexual. So we looked at the group! One in every four! It literally meant one of us is gay. Oh, fucking hell, it’s not me, is it? We had a lot of soul-searching to do over that little one."

"There's a song I do called Here Today which is specifically written for John. That sometimes catches me out. I realise I'm telling this man that I love him and it's like I'm publicly declaring this in front of all these people I don't know. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing.

Q: In “Here Today”, you talk about your love for John. Did you ever say that to him, in those days?" Paul: No. I'm sure we both felt it. But that is not something two boys use to say to each other. If they were gay, maybe. Otherwise it is rare that that happens."

"My view is that these things are there whether you want them or not, in your interior. You don't call up dreams, they happen, often the exact opposite of what you want. You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, 'Shit, am I gay?' I like that you don't have control over it. But there is some control -- it is you dreaming, it is your mind it's all happening in."

"We were in New York before he [George] went to Los Angeles to die, and they were silly but important to me. And, I think, important to him. We were sitting there, and I was holding his hand, and it occurred to me — I’ve never told this — I don’t want to hold George’s hand. You don’t hold your mate’s hands. I mean, we didn’t anyway. "

"Yeah, I think he [John] did [love me], yeah. It wasn’t actually a spiky relationship at all. It was, uh, very warm, very close and very loving, I think. All The Beatles. We used to say, I think we were amongst the first sort of men to come out openly – and you remember, it was quite sort of strange in those days, we’re talking about a long time ago now when homosexuality was still sort of largely illegal."

"Because he [Robert Faser] was gay, it raised a few small-minded eyebrows, and funnily enough, one or two of them were from within the Beatles: ‘Hey, man, he’s gay, what you going off to Paris with him for? They’re gonna talk, you know. Tongues are going to wag.’ I said, ‘I know tongues are going to wag, but tough shit.’ I was secure about my sexuality. I always felt this is is fine. I can hang with whoever I want and it didn’t worry me. I mean, we didn’t share a room or anything."

"With Robert’s thing of course there would be gayness. But there was no open gayness. If there was to be gayness it would be a quiet phone call that Robert would go and take in the bedroom or something. That was one of the good things, actually, because I knew he was gay and he knew I wasn’t gay so we were quite safe in our own | sexuality. We could talk to each other. "

Lastly, there is this odd anecdote that may or may not mean anything, but here it is:

One of the strangest of these incidents came at the end of 1992 when Mark Featherstone-Witty attended the MPL Christmas lunch. Mark took an accountant friend to the meal, a McCartney fan he'd known for years, which led to a strange and unpleasant row. By Mark's recollection, Paul's manager Richard Ogden summoned him into the MPL office the next day where he read him the riot act for bringing an unwelcome guest to Paul's party. 'What do you mean by bringing someone who was so obviously gay to Paul's Christmas party? Have you any idea about the responsibility you carry in this project?' he allegedly asked. 'What are you talking about?' replied Featherstone-Witty, explaining who his friend was. 'But he was gay, you stupid fucker!' 'No, he isn't.' 'You've got to be careful. You can't do anything that would embarrass Paul...'"

Fab : An intimate Life of Paul McCartney by Howard Sounes

#paul mccartney #Mr “I'm very secure about myself”#mclennon #oh paul #This is a very long post #probably my longest ever #but there is a lot to unpack here

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rashoumon-homo · 3 months

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No Such Tastes In Men pt.2 (Dazai x Reader)

Dazai x Male Reader, NSFW

-> Content Warnings: oral (m!reader receiving), dom/sub undertones, dom!reader

-> 1.4k words

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

<- Previous Part

Author Note: This accidentally ended up being twice the length of the first one, oops

You expected that sucking Dazai off in an alleyway would make things weird between the two of you. You’d mentally prepared yourself for him to avoid you, but the next day things are… normal. Whenever you spot him on your usual spy routes, he looks fine; well-adjusted. Not at all like someone who’s in the midst of a sexuality crisis.

Maybe he really is straight after all.

After a week of uncomfortable normalcy, you’re beginning to wonder if you imagined the whole thing. Not only has Dazai not mentioned the incident at all, he gives every impression it’s not even on his mind. Your weekly one-on-one update meeting with him is in an hour and somehow you’re the one who’s nervous.

You’re too anxious to drink your usual coffee beforehand, so you decide to head to the meeting location early instead. This time it’s at an abandoned warehouse you haven’t been to before, so it’ll be good to scope out the spot anyway.

When you arrive, a whole 45 minutes early, you’re surprised to see Dazai sitting on a crate reading that book he carries everywhere with him.

When he hears you coming, he glances up, looking a little surprised. “You’re early.”

“So are you,” you say defensively.

He hops down from the crate and dusts himself off. “The mission I was on ended early and I had time to kill, so I thought I might as well wait here,” he explains, even though you didn’t ask. “Are you okay? You seem nervous.”

“M’not,” you insist, sidestepping him when he inches closer.

“You don’t need to be,” he presses further. “I don’t want things between us to be weird just because you sucked my dick once.”

Your heart skips a beat. “So you do remember it!”

Dazai flashes one of his flirty smiles at you. “Couldn’t stop thinking about it.” He leans back against the crates, arms crossed loosely over his chest. His gaze is on the rafters above, rather than your face as he continues. “I’d heard the myth that men give better blow jobs, since they’re more familiar with the equipment so to speak, but I admit I was surprised to find that it’s true. And when I think back on that night, I’m not just thinking about the feel of a mouth around me - I’m thinking about everything. Your hands on my thighs, the feeling of my fingers running through your hair… it’s YOUR mouth I’m turned on by.” Dazai rakes his fingers through his hair in frustration. “And I guess by extension, it’s you.”

His cheeks are pink when he fixes his gaze on you again. You’re playing with your hands nervously, running the pad of your thumb over your bitten nail beds. You feel like a deer in the headlights with him looking at you so intensely. There’s no doubt in your mind he can see your anxiety written on your face.

“So I decided,” he says, more softly, “I want to do it to you too.”

You gape at him. “Me?” you ask. “You want to… suck my dick?”

“Yeah,” he says casually. “Maybe I have more of a taste for it than I originally thought. And besides, I feel like I should pay you back somehow for all the orgasms you’ve given me.”

“Orgasms, plural?” you ask. You feel like your knees are gonna give out so you sit on one of the crates nearby.

Dazai smirks. “The one in the alley, and all the times I’ve jerked off to the memory of it.”

He moves to stand in front of you, slotting himself between your legs. He fiddles with the shoulder of your shirt and asks, “So, can I?”

You grip his forearms and gently push him to his knees in response. He looks up at you with those adorably eager eyes, obediently waiting for instructions.

“Ever given a blow job before?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “I’m a quick learner,” he offers.

You don’t doubt it. Your fingers trace along his jaw, pushing gently at his lower lip. “Open for me,” you say, pressing against the seam of his lips. He does, allowing you to slip your thumb inside. You feel along the ridges of his teeth, mapping out the inside of his mouth by touch. When you press lightly against his tongue, he pushes back against you.

“So good,” you murmur. You remove your thumb and replace it with your index and middle finger. You press along his tongue, further to the back of his mouth, until you hit his gag reflex and he makes a choking sound.

“You okay?” you ask, quickly taking out your fingers.

“I want the real thing,” Dazai whines when he recovers. “Stop teasing me!”

A brat, hmm? you think to yourself. You’ll be nice to him today, but if this arrangement continues, you’ll have fun breaking him.

“Take it out then,” you say, leaning back.

Dazai eagerly unbuttons your pants and takes your cock in his hand. He looks like he’s about to just go at it, but you stop him.

“Don’t try to deepthroat, okay?” you warn. “That’s too much for your first time. I want you to take your time learning how to use your tongue and your hand to make me feel good. I’ll give you tips here and there but for the most part you should be able to tell what’s working from my reactions. Got it?”

He nods. “Good boy,” you say quietly.

Dazai looks at the cock in his hand for a minute, running his thumb along the veins before gently stroking it. He tests out a couple different speeds, settling with a slow, firm pace when he notices how it makes your breathing go shallow. A bead of precum wells at the tip, which, after a second of hesitation, he laps up.

You laugh at the way he tries to hide his grossed-out expression. “Cum tastes better,” you assure him.

He licks your cockhead again, and this time takes it into his mouth. His eyes are trained on you as he runs his tongue over it. Your hips stutter when his tongue flicks over the slit. He sinks a little lower, but his hand has stilled completely.

“Try using them at the same time,” you groan, tapping on the back of his hand to remind him it’s still wrapped around your shaft.

Dazai resumes pumping you, now pairing it with little licks and bobs of his head. You groan, hand moving to stroke the back of his head.

“That’s it, just like that,” you sigh. “Think you can take me a little deeper?”

Dazai can’t nod, but he increases how much he takes into his mouth on the next bob. You know you’re probably right against his gag reflex now, so you’re careful not to push his head.

“Fuck, Dazai,” you moan. “Your mouth… so fucking good…”

You can see him palming himself through his pants out of the corner of your eye. He lets out a little whimper at your praise, and the vibration feels incredible.

“Ngh, gonna come soon,” you warn him. “Pull off… if you want… or you can keep going.”

Dazai doesn’t change his motions, and within a few seconds you’re spilling into his mouth. “Dazai…” you moan, abs clenching hard.

When the orgasm fades out, you carefully drag your softening cock out of his mouth. His mouth is still full of your cum, like he’s not sure what to do with it.

“You can swallow or spit, I won’t be offended,” you say quickly.

He thinks about it for a second, then spits it on the ground beside him. There’s a thoughtful look in his eye as he runs his tongue around the inside of his mouth, tasting you.

“It’s not bad,” he says finally.

You tuck yourself back into your pants. “You’re right that you’re a quick learner. That was pretty good.”

“Eh, it was just my first try. I know I’ll get better with practice.” A playful look makes its way across his face. “Wanna be my tutor?”

“More than anything,” you say with a smile. You raise an eyebrow. “Does this mean you do have a taste for men after all?”

Dazai pouts. “I have a taste for you,” he clarifies. “I’m not ready to label myself yet anyway.”

You nod knowingly. “I understand! There’s no rush.”

Before you get the chance to continue the conversation, your phone pings with a reminder.

“Time for our weekly meeting, apparently,” you say, grinning. “Shall we get to it?”

Dazai grins back and stands up. “Now, where were we?”

Tag list: @suru1990

If you’d like to be part of the tag list, send me a dm!

Next Part ->

Back to Masterlist

#rashoumon writes #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai x male reader #dazai x m!reader #dazai smut #bsd fic #bsd #dazai bsd #sub dazai #bungou stray dogs

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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𝕽𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖇 • 𝕰. 𝕵𝖆𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖗 : chapter one

synopsis: for as long as he could remember, his life was music and his money, no time for anything else. The only love he had ever known was the studio. That was until one night, he met his greatest muse thus far.

cw: insta model/musician black !fem reader, a very antisocial engineer/musician eren (he’s seen as kind of an asshole but he’s really sweet) no hardcore smut for this portion! just some kissing, fondling and mentions of sex, alcohol and drugs, profanity of course, inappropriate behavior

wc: 6.4K

notes from the author 📝 : So I'm going to be turning one of my first stories I posted on here, Studio, into a full series. I’ve written a million drabbles for this so I’m finally finishing the actual first chapter. Don’t know how many parts it will have but fuck it, we ball.

“Yeah, I don’t care much for any of this..the whole club scene like that. Truth is, I rather be anywhere else but I gotta get my money and something tells me you would too..so, let’s make the best of it and get this bag together.”

next chapter

They say that music is the one thing that makes the world go around..that without it, life would be a mistake.

a lot of people can’t even function if they don’t have their favorite song blaring through the speakers on the way to work..or in their headphones while trying to manage the school day. Others couldn’t imagine a gym session without that one playlist to get them pumped.

and for one man…

“You can’t be serious right now.”

it was his entire life!

“What do you mean, bro? This shit gas!”

the brunette released a heavy winded sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. His glasses were hanging from his face as well. Anyone who knew him was quite familiar with that look and it wasn’t a good one.

another male with glistening chains, gold slugs and a black hoodie stood above him from the circulating chair. To say he had irritated his producer was an understatement but it wasn’t a rare occurrence in the slightest.

“Bro..we’ve been here for five hours..you show up late and then you bring me this? You’re just fucking with me, right?”

Eren Jaeger, or E.J..a name very respected and revered in the music industry. For as long as he could remember, music was his first and only love in his young life..if there was an instrument to be played, he not only sought out to learn it but master it as well.

if there was a song he liked, best believe he was going to end up inevitably out singing the artists themselves.

despite the fact that the career path wasn’t fully backed by his Ivy League, white coat wearing, scholar of a father, he was determined to turn that childhood passion into a very successful and lucrative dream.

working religiously to fine tune his playing skills, along with his voice. He practically resided in the chorus and band classroom; perfecting his craft in all areas..drums, guitar, horns, piano, whatever you could think of.

he became so obsessed in fact that it left little room in his life for extracurricular activities, including a lot of friends or dates.

writing lyrics during class, skipping lunch to go toy around in the library with his laptop create beats..he was a natural born prodigy. Fast forward to college, where he made the very easy choice to study music engineering and mastering…

it was one night while he was working at a shoe store to fund his education that his coworkers decided to record him singing and rapping (all free-styled by the way) while he was doing inventory as a joke. Little did they know, they had just propelled him right into stardom.

coupled with his good looks, sultry lyrics and popularity, everyone wanted their chance to work with him.

there was only one tiny problem..as much as Eren loved creating music, he despised the spotlight even more! How ironic, right? He had no desire whatsoever to be anyone’s next Bieber or Post Malone.

that fame shit was good and dead to him. He truly believed there was no point in making his art to keep up with trends and other artists if your heart wasn’t in it. Not only that, the attention was insufferable.

they were more concerned with if he had a girlfriend, what he looked like or who he was fucking. His talent was on the back burner and it frustrated the hell out of him.

it was the very reason he didn’t respect a lot of today’s musicians. A lot of them weren’t even true or authentic to themselves and fed into that bullshit. That’s why he chose to stay behind the scenes.

it was easier to focus on what he loved rather than the stupidity. Shame it couldn’t allude him entirely because he was left with instances such as today. Grabbing a nearby water bottle, the visibly frustrated brunette unscrewed the cap and chugged the clear liquid down halfway.

at this point, he had heard all that was necessary. It was back to the drawing board because no way he was about to co-sign or engineer this bullshit.

“You’re just not seeing the vision, bro. Trust me on this.”

“I’m seeing something and it’s my patience wearing thin. Twenty four hours…that’s all you have to come back with some heat like I know you got. You’re better than this, man. If you don’t tighten up, you can forget me working on this goddamn album. I’m not even playing with you.”

the rapper knew not to test his luck any further. Friend or not, he wasn’t going to waste anymore of his precious time. Releasing a heavy huff, he’d hop up from his seat and grab his phone.

it didn’t come from a place of malice or hatred but Eren did have the tendency to come off a bit harsh. He didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just how he was and everyone had learned to deal with it.

he was the type of person that accepted nothing less than greatness from his artists so if he deemed it lazy or lackluster, his stamp would not be on it.

besides, he still had three other artists to see today and he didn’t have anymore time to waste on listening to this man let the beat whoop his ass for four tracks straight.

“Same time tomorrow then, man?”

“That depends on you. You bring me a hot pack of ass like this and you’ll be standing outside the door. Now goodbye.”

with that, he’d take his leave, security tailing behind him and a scowl on his face. Left shaking his head, Eren just released a heavy sigh before looking down at his mixing board.

"..does anybody take this business seriously anymore?"

just then, he was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. It was his agent..or rather the one who ran the show. Hesitant and just not in the mood to deal with this, he’d release a deep sigh and say a silent prayer before answering.

“Jesus, you look like shit. When’s the last time you’ve slept?”

and it seemed his prayers weren’t effective enough because he was seconds from snapping. The first words from the snarky woman’s mouth like daggers to his soul.

“Well good afternoon to you too, Mikasa.”

the two of them had been friends for quite some time and even the center of some weird dating rumors but for anyone that knew the duo, it was the furthest thing from.

despite him not making many records in the past few years, Eren still DJ’ed and promoted, as well as performed at some clubs, in addition to engineering and producing..so naturally someone had to arrange these happenings as a middle man.

but, being him, he could never make anything easy and was labeled like that of a diva. Hard to work with and always turning down things that didn’t appease him. Which naturally made her job a whole lot harder..

she was just the only one who refused to tolerate his bullshit!

“Don’t good afternoon me. I’ve been trying to track your ass down for two days and to no avail, of course you’re holed up in that damned studio like a hermit.”

he could hear what she was saying but in all honestly, he didn’t care. More than likely, she wanted him to go and DJ at some stuffy lounge riddled with coked up college kids and aspiring models who eat Xanax for breakfast.

totally not his speed.

nonetheless, he’d lean back in his chair, nonchalantly chewing on the end of a toothpick as he listened to her ramble.

it was obvious that nothing was getting through to that thick numbskull of his.

“And? I’m working. You’d know that if you were a good agent.”

just then, the short haired woman broke into a chuckle, clutching the steering wheel of her S Class Mercedes. And something told him it wasn’t because he said something funny.

“Don’t piss me off more than you already have. Listen, I have a job for you tonight..the new club that just opened up downtown. They need another promoter to help host and I told them you’d be perfect.”

that seemed to have piqued his interest but not because he was excited or anything but because it was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Another?”

unfortunately, he didn’t have much of a choice!

“Yes, the IG model and dancer, (y/n) (l/n) she’s also going to be there tonight. Girl’s a pretty big deal and apparently, she brought out a lot of people.”

he was somewhat familiar with the name but he despised social media as much as he despised hosting. Besides, if he’s seen one, he’s seen them all: shallow, vain, Barbie types with nothing more than a BBL and vibes.

it wasn’t so much the looks that bothered him because they were absolutely beautiful but it seemed as if the whole industry was opportunistic and weird at this point. Everyone looking for a come up and a moment without true work..

“What the hell, Mika? You know I hate that shit. And I have two other recording sessions—

“Not anymore! My job is to get you paid and let’s be honest, the last two artists you produced for weren’t exactly cash cows. How long do you think this whole mysterious antisocial act is going to last? Sad to say, but your time is dwindling, my guy.”

just then, he’d roll his eyes emerald green eyes and just shrug it off but for once, he wasn’t about to pout and whine his way out of this..she was right.

EJ was one of the most popular artists in the world and although he had a pretty loyal fanbase, a lot of them were growing impatient and with new stars being made every three to five business days, people who were true to their craft no longer felt as if they had a place and people no longer reserved patience for artists taking years at a time to put out projects..

and she didn’t want him to be one of them! He belonged here just like everyone else but he had to show up sometimes!

releasing a sigh of her own, Mikasa just shook her head and hoped that he’d listen for once.

“We all have things we don’t want to do but I’m asking for once, stop being so goddamned selfish and only thinking of what Eren wants. There’s a world beyond your own little bubble and a lot of people are dependent on you. We’ll both get a good cut from this so I’m begging you not to screw this up.”

as much as this pained him, he did owe her this much for putting up with his erratic behavior. Besides, he’s put up with far worse in the past!

reaching into the pockets of his black Nike Techs, he’d retrieve two items: a pre-rolled blunt and a black lighter with his initials inscribed on it in gold. If they wanted him to interact with the outside world, he had to calm his nerves first!

“Alright, alright!..I’ll be there, damn..”

getting irritated with her voice and this entire conversation and honestly, the feeling was mutual.

“Let me find out you didn’t show up, I’ll kick down the door to that little hobbit hole of yours and break everything in my sight. Got it?”

and one thing he knew not to do was doubt that she would be capable of such a thing! He’d assure her that he’d be there..

“Loud and clear, drill sergeant.”

“Good boy. I don’t want to have to have this conversation again."

and with that, she’d disconnect the other line.

it was safe to say, he wasn’t thrilled about any of this but maybe stepping outside of his comfort zone would be good..maybe. But only time would tell!

•••••••••

meanwhile, on another side of the city, there was someone else dealing with the exact dilemma as the introverted engineer..

"So when we finish here, the car should be arriving shortly after..we’ll get you over to the club, let you do a walkthrough, get you changed and then you know what to do from there.”

the voice of a wiry and vivacious woman sprouted off the itinerary without so much as a second thought, scrolling through her iPad with the tap of a finger. Wired frame glasses dangling from the bridge of her button nose and her blonde locks styled into that of a high bun.

she was the hardworking assistant and right hand to upcoming model, influencer and dancer, (Y/N) (L/N) or (social media name) to her followers.

over the past couple of years, the esteemed exotic dancer amassed quite the following by posting videos of yourself dancing to several popular songs, even performing live with a ton of artists on stage.

you were the leader of a country wide collective of other dancers known as the Pole Assassins, who performed incredible routines. You gained quite the notoriety and in no time flat, you rose to instant stardom as social media’s newest vixen.

it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing but it was quite the culture shock for the twenty something instructor who was just sharing your art with the world, only to now be thrust into a life of crazy living and insane work.

to having tons of strangers hurl wild opinions and insults in your direction unprovoked. Not to mention the millions of prying eyes on your every move..it was insane!

if you weren’t modeling and being sponsored for the newest fast fashion brand or some newfound tea company hoping to hook buyers on their repackaged laxatives, you were attending parties at some nightclub; hosting and hyping the crowd for whatever performer was headlining.

tonight would be no different..except maybe one thing.

“Yeah, I got it. Thank you, honey. By the way, do you know who this other host is?”

the woman, sitting cross legged whilst various people patted at her face with makeup brushes and sponges. You looked flawless already but they had to ensure that every part you was nothing less than perfection.

normally, you worked solo to make these events as lively as possible but the person you were set to work with was apparently a pretty big deal. A huge name in the music world was making a rare appearance tonight at this new grand opening.

“You haven’t heard? It’s Eren Jaeger, EJ, the singer..well he’s more of a producer now. He’s actually gonna be DJ’ing and performing tonight!”

that’s when your eyes nearly popped from yourhead. Now that was a name you hadn’t heard in a long time but it wasn’t due to him being washed up or outdated, he was just such an enigma in the music world now.

akin to something like a Frank Ocean or SZA..keeping fans sitting on the edge of their seats, wondering when he’d drop his next project.

his voice was beautiful, nearly enchanting and you had even used a couple of his pieces in some of your videos, dancing along to the slow, seductive sounds of the melodies. On the same hand, he made some of the hardest rap tracks you’d ever heard. And yet, for someone who made such music and as attractive as he was, he preferred to stay out of the limelight.

it seemed almost counterproductive but you also understood.

in the not so distant past, you saw horror stories of grown women grabbing at his privates on stage when he was only eighteen, girls sending him inappropriate pictures and just being weird.

watch one interview and even a blind man could tell it made him uncomfortable. The whole sex symbol allure wasn’t his thing.

in some ways, you resonated with him. You knew all too well what it felt like having your true craft pushed to the wayside all so people could create their own narratives. Rather than being recognized for the years of hard work and dedication it took to master the art of pole..you were now seen as nothing more than a cookie cutter Insta model with a pretty face and no substance.

some days, you felt like tossing that damn phone in the ocean and never looking back!

regardless, even though you didn’t know him personally, it was an honor to be in the presence of a musical great.

“I’m shocked they could even afford to bring someone like him out. That’s a huge name.”

“Yeah, well you’d be surprised. I seriously doubt it was something he was thrilled to do but we’ll see.”

(Y/N) mirrored his sentiment honestly but work was work and they had to do whatever necessary to pay the bills. As for you, you’d down a couple shots of liquid courage, throw on a tight body con dress, highest heels and work the crowd as per usual.

you just hoped that your co-host wasn’t a jerk as the rumors claimed.

later that evening…

night had fallen cast over the city's skyline and the party was merely at its inception. Guests were lining up near the entrance, lined up and ready to get inside to rub elbows with their favorite celebrities. All dressed up and at their best.

however, they weren’t the only ones..

a blacked out Audi R8 had just circled around the side entrance and killed its engine. The matte lights went dim and suddenly the passenger side door opened. Bystanders whispered in speculation as to who was inside but their minds would not be left to wander much longer.

followed by sounds ‘oohs’ and ‘oh my gosh’s’, out stepped a man in clothing resembling that of his car; all black with the exception of some silver chains, rings and studs in his ears. Combat type boots and cargos with a cut off black shirt showing off his numerous tattoos, along with a vest type harness. (inspo)

but it was the signature brown hair styled into a half up-half down bun that gave away his identity and it took no time for the fans to react. Screaming women of every variety began trying to surpass the barricade to get to him but were held back by bouncers and he was shielded by his security, who were eager to handle anyone approaching him, as he gave a swift wave.

underneath his black mask, Eren would muster up a faint smile and try to be as social as possible..all while praying that he’d get through this night quickly. His emerald green eyes were already glazed over from the blunt he had finished before leaving home and trust that it was much needed.

he was more than ready for this to be over with so he’d make his way through the side door and into the lounge where he was greeted by his agent and the energetic owner.

“There he isss, the man of the hour. It’s really an honor, EJ. Thank you again for this! You have no idea how much it means..”

the high pitched voice and effervescent personality belonged to Zoe Hange, a very affluent and well known promoter who owned many successful clubs and lounges all over the country. To have such big stars on opening night was a testament to their work.

gratefulness aside, he wanted to go home but before he’d end up saying something stupid, Mikasa would interject and cover for him.

“Likewise. We’re very happy that you reached out. We’re looking forward to it, aren’t we?” Shooting the musician a stern glare to assure he answered correctly. “For sure.” responding flatly. However, what would follow later would shift his mood entirely.

the vibrant owner, sporting their red and black pantsuit would exclaim, clasping their hands together. “Ahh, wonderful! As you can see, our stage is just to your left and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what to do. Just make magic up there, my dear. As for your co-host, she should be arriving shortly and we can get this thing started!”

his patience and social battery was already wearing thin so he hoped for this host’s sake that she didn’t disappoint either. That's when the momentary silence was interrupted by the sound of clacking heels.

"Hi, everyone. Hope I'm not late.." the soft voice spoke out, causing everyone in the room to shift their heads towards the right side. In came a woman wearing a short white dress, cut off just above the knees, tall clear heels and thirty inches of jet black hair flowing to her thin waist. Beautiful dark skin and nearly flawless makeup…the type of girl that turned heads when she walked in.

to say she was stunning was an understatement...and Eren could hardly keep his eyes off of her; definitely a first for the less than friendly performer. It took a lot to get his attention. "Not at all, actually you're just on time. Please join us."

Zoe would declare, waving a hand to bring the woman over. "This is (y/n) (l/n) or as some of you may know her, (social media handle). She’ll be working with us tonight as well. I’m sure between the both of you, it’ll be one hell of a show. Just give my new baby a proper welcoming party.”

“She is also my newest client and I’m very excited to have her on board. Thank you again for doing this on such short notice..” Mikasa chimed in as she swooped in to wrap you up for a tight hug. “I wish all my talent were as cooperative and flexible as you..” shooting the ever so silent singer a glare, to which he’d scoff.

but when you looked in his direction, his eyes shifted a bit and his cheeks raised from underneath that face covering before he turned his head. Inside, you were fangirling and freaking out. But you knew how reserved he was, not to mention his already annoyed expression..so you didn’t want to come off as a clout chasing groupie.

one thing you had noticed was how much more toned and muscular he had gotten since his hiatus. This man was swole to say the least!

as much as it pained him, he was still a professional about the whole thing. He realized there was no point in taking out his frustrations on the girl just trying to do her job as well. That and the fact he was taken aback by how stunning you were. He may have been a recluse but he was still a man nonetheless.

“..I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan. So it’s really an honor. The Living Dead Boy mixtape is one of my all time favorites.” Truth be told, he didn’t know how to take your compliment because he wasn’t expecting that. Not for such a pretty girl such as yourself to even know his music. And considering that was one of his more underground projects..that was impressive! Now here he was blushing like a damn fool.

“I—uh..thank you. Well I guess I should go get set up. See you in a little bit. " bidding you all adieu before walking off towards the backstage area. You would've liked to think that you greeted him kindly but it seemed that he was no more impressed by you than he was anyone else.

"Don't worry too much about him. He just takes some getting used to, that's all. Deep down, he's really a sweetheart..when he wants to be that is.." Mikasa would reassure, flashing you a warming smile. Maybe so but you had no time to worry about personal feelings or ego, as the club doors were set to open any minute.

you’d make your way to the backstage as well, making any last minute touch ups to your makeup. You had about ten minutes before you’d be summoned so in that time, while you were getting your face patted, (y/n) thought silently to yourself about how things would go. What if this man really didn’t like you and things went south? The last thing you wanted was the gig to be unsuccessful. Suddenly, a stage tech would come and whisper for you, signaling that your cue was in about ten minutes or so. Sounds of music coming from the front, signaling that the club was officially opened for business.

things would undeniably be different as you’d have to command the crowd for the entire night and keep them entertained. Most of the time, you were more so of a side attraction to whoever was performing so it was time to break out of your own shell and really come into your own tonight.

now..it was time to go to work!

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two hours later..

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“Everybody having a good time tonight?!”

the voice echoing throughout the nightclub, courtesy of a microphone held by the one and only (y/n) (l/n) aka (social media name). Met back with loud cheering and applause. So far, everything was going exactly as planned. All the patrons having a good time, lots of energy, wonderful music and just an all around good vibe.

which was wonderful news for the owner, Ms. Hange, who was thrilled to see that another one of her clubs launched off with such success. She had obviously made the right call hiring the best talent agent in the country. As for you, you were thrilled that you were able to make this party as live as possible. But little did they know that it was only starting..

“Club Lapis, y’all been so good to me tonight. Showing me so much love and popping out. I see a couple of familiar faces from Instagram..hey girl!” which was true because once you posted the club flyer to your Instagram, a decent chuck of your almost one million followers tapped in that were in the area. There were a few gorgeous women that you followed as well who decided to show up off of your namesake alone. Obviously, holding more weight than you expected but influencers were the new idols, some would say. You had been snapping pictures, taking videos and singing along and dancing with a lot of people. They were amped and now, it was time to give them the real main event.

“So, because y’all been so good to me…I got a lil’ something I wanna do for y’all. A surprise for everybody..” some were already privy to what, or who rather was waiting but for those who didn’t, you’d give one hell of an introduction! “I was talking with this person backstage and they said they were a little nervous to be here tonight..and I’m thinking to myself, ‘the only one nervous is me. I’m in the presence of greatness..and a good looking ass man’.” Everybody cracking up at your little jokes because you were always naturally funny without trying, which was also part of your allure; something a lot of these insta models didn’t have. “Baby in the front here losing her mind, trust me, girl..I understand now.” One of which who was spotted earlier yelling for him as he walked in.

it was true..you had the honor of actually having a conversation with him prior to this and Ms. Ackerman was right..he was incredibly sweet once you got the chance to talk to him. That and the fact he was higher than giraffe pussy so he wasn’t as irritated and nervous as before! Regardless, he was so kind and even thanked you for hosting with him. Despite his personal feelings about these sort of things, he was a professional and knew he had to do a good job for not only his sake but yours as well. Besides, he really did thrive when performing. So you’d do the best job possible, hyping him to the crowd..

“Not that he needs an introduction..’cause he been popping his shit longer than I’ve been around. And for all my followers, y’all already know how I feel about this man and his music. We’ve been lucky enough to get him to come out for us tonight so y’all better make some fucking noise and show all the love for The Prince of Trap and B himself..the Underground’s Greatest…”

as you were in the middle of doting and giving your speech, the people would start going crazy. Girls in full blown tears, people screaming and jumping around..that’s when you’d look back to see the legend Eren Jaeger himself walking up behind you, brandishing a microphone and a smile on his face. He’s as charming and handsome as ever. “Well damn..don’t I feel special?” That ever so smooth voice ending shivers up your spine.

and it doesn’t help when he places his hand around your waist and look down at you. He really is every bit of the flirt his persona portrays..

“Miss (y/n), you keep talking about me like that and imma start blushing and shit..”

muttering into his mic as he cradled his palm around your waist. He better had stopped before he caused a problem he wasn’t ready for! The scent of his cologne wafting through your nostrils, his warmth against your body..you had met a million rappers, chopped it up with the industry’s biggest but something about this man felt so familiar and..comforting. Like the two of you could be friends. He didn’t treat you like a stranger or act all irritable like before. So you’d use it to play up the moment.

“I mean, I gotta let the people know..brag on you for a minute, boo.”

“Well, I ain’t mad about it, baby. But I guess I should give everybody what they came here for, right?”

his rhetorical question being met with a loud response from everywhere.

now, anyone who didn’t know any better would’ve sworn that you guys had not only known each other for years but had a little something on the low. That wasn’t the case, even in the slightest. Honestly, with you, it felt natural and you just worked well together.

Outside of the little exchange backstage of how things would go and the two of you properly introducing yourselves, there wasn’t much else to indicate that he was cool with you but such was life and industry politics. People played pretend all the time for a check..something you learned fairly on.

however, something he said to you did stick as he noticed you fidgeting with one of your brushes, a sure sign of your anxiety about being a lead host tonight.

you were appreciative of his kind words and assurance that you weren’t alone in this. It was going to be fine as long as the two of you had fun. He even offered you a hit of his blunt to calm your nerves.

but either way, now, it was his turn to take over!

“Then I’ll just step over here to the side and let you handle your business—“ but as you were walking off the stage, he’d flash you a smile and wink. “Y’all give it up for the ever so lovely…and beautiful (y/n). She really has done a great job tonight.” Sending your heart fluttering and butterflies all throughout your stomach. Why was this man playing so much?! Nonetheless, you were flattered all the same and you’d blow a kiss to him; watching your hips sway as you walked off the stage.

the energy and chemistry between you two was insane and the crowd absolutely loved it! Because y’all were enjoying yourselves, so was everyone else and that’s what mattered!

considering you were just as big of a fan as everyone else, you were excited to watch him perform. Taking a glance back at his DJ, they’d have a little exchange and he’d really start to blossom; like the stage was where he came to life and nothing else mattered except the music. “Play that shit.” As soon as he gave the signal and that track dropped, the whole place went crazy! It was one of his most popular songs, 1st Degree, and most energetic. It was a trap song and you had heard it played everywhere when it first came out. In a matter of minutes, he’s hopping around in stage and going off. The crowd singing it louder than he was at some point.

pointing the mic out to them, they’d scream his lyrics back at him in intervals and he’d just laugh because seeing a bunch of bad bitches yell about gun violence and drugs was so funny. Including (y/n)..he couldn’t believe everyone still fucked with him this heavily. By the time, he finished, Eren would be met with loud screams and chants. Laughing, he’d cup his microphone and move across the stage, engaging with everyone.

“DJ, did you hear that? They were going harder than me!..what the fuck?”

to say he was impressed, was an understatement. He had never imagined that after all these years, he still had this kind of impact. Some people would try and downplay or talk shit about the fact that he was in a venue like this but for someone who was over the pressures of performing, this felt much more intimate.

he’d rather have a hundred loyal fans than thousands of people pretending to know his lyrics and stand there with their phones out. Right now, he was really feeling himself and although you had just met, as a long time fan, you were happy for him. Happy that he was so well received by the audience and not being made uncomfortable. This really was his element.

the show would go on and he’d do a few more songs, this time some of the ones where he was singing, which you personally preferred. This man’s voice was something serious…many of times had you constructed pole routine to his sensual lyrics. However, that’s when he done something a tad bit unexpected.. “Alright, so for this last song..we’re about to get a little sexy. On that demon time, as they say..”

everyone immediately laughing and knowing exactly what track he was referring to…the one that had women going crazy for months and men using it to spit game. It was the first time he had ever made a love song and needless to say, the internet went stupid. It was so freaky that the blog sites were talking shit. That’s when he knew he had a hit on his hands..

suddenly, the lights would dim and the entire vibe would change.

“Club Lapis, I’m in such a good mood tonight. I ain’t gone lie to y’all, I was a little nervous to come here, but I feel the love…so I’m gonna do a little something special. I feel like serenading somebody’s daughter.”

the entire place erupted in screams and women pointing to be chosen. “A couple of you are here with your man, I don’t want no problems tonight.” But Eren had already clearly had his mind on one person in particular..and it was no question. Flashing a big toothy smile, he’d direct his attention over towards the right before singling his sights on the far corner.

“Miss (y/n)..if you’d do me the honor of bringing your fine ass back up to the stage, please..”

‘oohs’ and ‘aah’s’ sparking immediately after. Your cheeks began to burn something fierce…Eren fucking Jaeger was up on stage, flirting with you! This did not feel real whatsoever. Regardless, you made your way back up there. You’d look over to see people breaking their thumbs, sending out a plethora of tweets.

climbing the steps, he’d assist you with an extended hand. Right there underneath the beaming spotlights, the two of you would lightly clutch fingers as he stood there, smiling. Seeing him up close was like a dream. The fantasy of many fangirls who’d fawned over him since his debut and here you were getting the first hand experience. Those piercing green eyes glaring right into your own and sending your heart racing.

finally, the instrumental would begin to play and Eren began to belt out the tune. As per, he sounded amazing; those lyrics making things just that much better..talking about fucking until the bed broke, making movies and making her wet. Whoever the inspiration was behind that song was one lucky ass bitch! Pining over to the crowd, he’d let the lovely bunch of ladies huddled at the front of the stage mimic the song back to him before taking over the next verse and just for the occasion, he had slightly altered the words.

“Know I said that I can’t stay with you, no I can’t make you my wife but (y/n), if you let me in it, I swear I’ll change your life.”

crooning before running his finger underneath your chin.

sending the crowd into a frenzy. Mainly because everyone could see how fast you were folding on that stage, after having been so poised and professional all night! One thing stood true; he may not have been that way in real life, but EJ the stage persona was a whole slut and a half! No wonder the podcaster bitch boys talked so much about him. He had their dream girls about to faint.

once the song reached its conclusion, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. But he knew he better had booked it to the back before somebody’s hormonal girlfriend rushed the stage.

“Thank you Club Lapis, goodnight!”

leaving to a loud chant of his name, thunderous claps and cheers. Ending on a high note if he had to say so himself. Right now, he was on a cloud that he didn’t want to come down from and he had the perfect way to remain there.

meanwhile, (y/n) would address the audience once more, thanking them for such a wonderful evening, being so nice to both of them, to be safe and enjoy the rest of their night here. Once that was done and the DJ proceeded to resume his regular track list, you were since again stopped by fans and patrons alike, asking for pictures and saying how jealous they were that you were being sang to like that.

trust, it wasn’t something that you were expecting either but you played your role well. Now it was time to relax with a few drinks.

Ms. Hange had took the liberty of reserving VIP for the two of you once the show ended to unwind with complimentary and unlimited bottle service. You weren’t a heavy drinker by any means but why not take advantage?

honestly, once the adrenaline of the moment wore off, you grew fatigued. All of the stimulation of the loud noises and screaming people was a bit much. However, you had to fulfill your obligations.

ten minutes or so passed and it seemed that you’d be unwinding on your own..that was until you heard a familiar voice. “So this is where my beautiful co-host ran off to..”

it was the star himself and he seemed to be sporting a new outfit.. still all black with those silver chains dangling around his neck. He looked good, which was no surprise. As he kneeled to sit down, he’d scoop you in a tight hug in one fell swoop. At this point, there was no question of what his feelings were towards you. He could’ve easily dipped and had his security get him up out of here but he stayed.

“God, you sounded amazing up there! I never thought I’d get to hear the great EJ The Don in person.” Blushing at the mention of just one of his many stage names, that one being more so his producer tag. Truthfully, he just went up there and done what he enjoyed the most..sharing his music with the world.

as he took a seat next to you, he’d pour up a glass of vodka, matching your own. Casually shrugging his shoulders, he’d swirl it around a bit before knocking back a sip. “Just doing my job, that’s all. I gotta say, you did your thing too. Told you, you’d be fine.” Being reaffirmed by someone so iconic was the highest of compliments.

“I’d say you did more than that. I ain’t mad though.” Smirking in his direction before drinking from your own glass and giving him a side eye. It seemed that he was comfortable enough for you two make jokes and honestly, he had never felt that way about anyone, less known someone he had only met. Maybe it was the courage of being crossfaded but Eren truly felt at ease around you for some reason.

and you mirrored that sentiment. It wasn’t uncommon for these gigs to go left when some artist decided to get too handsy or be disrespectful of your boundaries but that wasn’t the case here. He was so sweet and down to earth.

“Aye, you said let’s entertain them so that’s what I did. Besides, you standing up there, looking all cute and shit..I couldn’t help it.” Before long, the pair was laughing and giggling, chopping it up as if no one else was around. The flirtatious tension was getting out of hand!

“You mind if I scoot a little closer, miss (y/n)? I don’t want to get in your personal space.”

“Go right ahead.” eventually letting him drape his arm around the back of the couch and move a couple inches towards you. Being all cozied up to a superstar like him was surreal and people would most certainly have their fair share of opinions and commentary, you were certain.

nonetheless, the evening continued on as normal. The two of you talking as if you’ve known each other for a long time. Rather than bore you with stories of how he got his start that could be found with a simple YouTube search of his interviews, he wanted to hear your background. He only knew of you through social media circulation but he figured there had to be more to the illustrious (social media name).

“So I gotta ask..how in the hell did you manage to get tangled up with mad woman Mikasa and let her talk to you into this?”

when you began to gain a little more notoriety, it was only natural to get an agent to help capitalize on this newfound fame and get the real money coming in. She didn’t have her reputation for nothing..Ms. Ackerman worked harder than the devil himself and she didn’t hesitate to take care of you so when she decided to team you two you up, little did they know just how much of a genius she was.

so that’s when you told him about your journey through learning pole, going on tour with a bunch of different artists and serving as a backup dancer. It was a lot of fun but outside of work, you never made it your business to be chummy with your cohorts. You done the job you are paid for and then went on about your business. It was lonely but for the best, considering how weird some folks moved.

and Eren felt the same. He didn’t have many friends in this industry. Hell, it was almost ironic because the fans adored him but a lot of fellow artists didn’t really have much to say about him as a person. Sure, they respected his craft but he didn’t make it his mission to get close to anyone..until now.

you definitely had his interest piqued, to say the least! Having a conversation with (y/n) was somewhat refreshing. You weren’t another groupie trying to play in his face or look for a come up. You didn’t treat him like you were trying to kiss his ass or anyone else’s..it was just a normal vibe and one he hadn’t shared with someone in a long time..so much so, that you had this man laughing and smiling like a fool. Maybe this whole gig wasn’t a bad idea!

“Wait a minute, you’re friends with Jean Kirschtein? I danced at one of his shows in Chicago last year.”

“Friends is a strong word, I prefer pain in the ass. No offense, but dude gets on my fucking nerves.”

the bold statement sending you doubling over in laughter. Not because you didn’t like the rock singer, he was actually very nice but the fact that he was just spilling all types of tea to you as if you guys were best friends! That’s when he explained that they were signed to the same label for a while and that he was actually engaged to his best friend and manager, Mikasa. Literally the only reason he tolerated him.

“Well damn. Can’t say I blame you..some people in this business will turn you against it real fast. Of course, I’m sure you’re the last person I have to tell that, but then there’s others who are…really sweet.”

swirling your fingertip around the perimeter of your glass as you shot him a glare, as well as a warm smile. One that made his cheeks immediately glow red, even under the fluorescent lighting. It was adorable..

scooting a bit closer, he’d glare down at your smaller frame and curl his tongue across his top row of teeth. This man was dangerously handsome that it made no sense whatsoever! “I agree..it’s not so bad all the time.” For a moment, you two were locked in an intense gaze; one that wasn’t typical of complete strangers but here you were!

suddenly, the eye contact was broken when he’d turn his head to the side and whisper something to you. “I think they’re staring at us..” referring to the group of girls pointing with their cellphones out, jumping up and down as if they were a couple of TMZ reporters getting the latest scoop.

this was the sole reason he despised being out in public, because this is what it always resulted in. Cue the hundreds of messages from nosy ass bloggers and messy people trying to get in his business but tonight? He was in a bit of a mood to match their energy and hopefully shoot his shot! Luckily, you were on the same type time he was..

“I think they are..wonder what they’re up to?..” questioning rhetorically with the coyest smirk on your face. It was insane how equally yoked you both were in just this short amount of time. But he had an idea that would really have them going crazy.

“You thinking what I’m thinking, miss (y/n)?” and it went without saying that you most certainly were. This liquor and weed had the two of you playing a very dangerous game but what was the worst that could happen? Hell, blow up the internet for all of twenty four hours before they fixated on something else? He needed a little excitement in his life..had been a while since he caused some controversy!

giving him a nod, you’d shift in your seat to stare right at one another. The chemistry was undeniable and as someone who was in a position that half the bitches here would murder for..you didn’t turn down the opportunity! Leaning over, Eren nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck; his breath causing the minuscule hairs to rise on your skin.

his right hand resting gently on your thigh but not moving too far up to where you’d be uncomfortable and proceeded to pretend he was kissing you. “Just play along..let’s give their asses something to talk about.”

breaking into a toothy smile, (y/n) shook your head and bit your lip at the feeling of this man’s hands on you for the second time tonight. “Mr. Jaeger, you are something else, you know that?” But like clockwork, flashes would begin to flicker from every iPhone in the vicinity. Even hearing a few people muttering..you most certainly had never experienced anything like this before!

“I’ve heard worse said about me..”

the last thing you needed was for everyone to spin the rumor mill that you were fucking rappers now but honestly, you wouldn’t know how to act if he really did kiss you, less known done anything else. But somehow, you didn’t care..you were really enjoying yourself. And honestly, didn’t want this night to come to an end. So your ever so charming cohort would make another suggestion..

“Y’know, I’m a little over all this and if I’m not mistaken, we’ve fulfilled our obligation for the night. So if you don’t have any plans, how ‘bout we go chill somewhere else? That’s if..I’m not being too forward or nothing..”

offering as he stood to his feet, stretching out his muscles before extending his hand yet again.

normally, you’d decline with the quickness and say you were tired but something told you, you’d be missing out on a good time if you did. And that he’d be super disappointed as well. So, you done exactly what you felt was right…

“Not at all..”

accepting his grasp, he’d help you to stand and keep your footing; continuing the theme of being an absolute gentleman. Time to keep the party going in a much more private manner.

“You just lead the way..”

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if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! please check out some of my other stuff in the masterlist. Likes are appreciated but reblogs would mean the world and help me out a TON! Also, considering leaving a little something in the tip jar if you’re feeling extra generous! 🫶🏾

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of-a-chaotic-mind · 3 months

Text

Shaken Not Stirred

Summary: Reader attends an investigation with her boyfriend Sam and best friend Colby. Unfortuantely for her, it doesn't quite go as smoothly as she'd hoped it would.

TW/CW: Reader gets scratched by a ghost and scared a few times. Sam Golbach x Reader

Requested?: No

A/N: Writing a spoopy imagine while watching spoopy Sam & Colby videos all with the lights off aside from red lights to up the spoopiness is fantastic. Surprisingly, I'm less spooped than I would be just watching Sam & Colby vids with the lights on and not multitasking lmao.

Y/N's POV

As we stepped into the abandoned, slightly decrepit haunted prison. We had spoken briefly with a friend of our guide outside before starting this tour and she had warned me, “Girl you are braver than I am.” Upon tilting my head at her, she continued, “I won’t ever step foot in that place after hearing so many stories from other ladies. Stick close to your boys.” Apparently, the entities in this place enjoy messing with and scaring ladies the most.

Colby’s voice brings me out of my thoughts, “Dude, look at this place!” I scan my eyes around the immense entry hall. The cement walls impose a sense of dread. The stuffy sour smell of the place makes my stomach roil.

I instinctively inch closer to Sam who’s at my side. I can already tell the warning wasn’t falsely founded. Just being in here makes me feel extremely uneasy and very unwelcome. Dating a paranormal investigator means I’ve visited plenty of haunted locations but this one was much worse than any other.

As our guide began the tour, I practically glued myself to Sam’s side making him look down at me. “You alright?” He questions, concern written plainly across his face.

I think for a moment before nodding, “Yeah just already feeling unwelcome.”

The guide breaks in, “Ladies typically do feel set apart from the gentlemen. As this was a male only prison, they don’t typically take kindly to female visitors.”

Sam looks even more worried now, “You can always sit this one out.”

I shake my head, “I’m alright for now but I’ll let you know if I need to step out.” Sam nods as our guide takes that as his cue to continue on. The first bit of our tour goes pretty quietly. Just as I am starting to loosen up and shake the uneasiness, I hear someone or something whisper yell very closely to my ear. Having stepped away from Sam, I race back to him and nearly leap into his arms.

“What?!” He questions, voice full of worry, “What happened?”

I look up at him and then around at our group, fear etched across my face, “Did you guys not hear that?” Everyone shakes their heads spurring me to explain, “I just heard something whisper super loud in my ear. Like, I don’t know how you guys didn’t hear it.”

Sam wraps his arms tighter around me, “Do you need a minute?”

I bury my face into his chest to take a few deep breaths before shaking my head, “No, I’m alright. Let’s keep going.” Carrying on with the tour, I keep my head on a swivel and my hand tightly clasped around Sam’s.

By the time we begin our investigations, I’ve loosened up again. Sam sets out the two flashlights after explaining for the video what they do. Colby also sets out a REM pod and shows the camera what it does. As everyone steps away from the devices, the REM pod starts going nuts. “Alright, I guess that’s a good sign that we should get started,” Sam states to the camera. The boys begin bouncing around questions and receiving responses but the REM pod just keeps screaming at us.

Finally, having had enough of the high pitch shrill, I gave up my courage and speak up, “I’m sorry to interrupt boys but whoever is beside our little red light over there could you please step away? It’s starting to hurt my ears.” The device goes silent immediately upon finishing my sentence. Sam, Colby, and I look at each other in shock before they continue on with questioning the flashlights. After only a couple questions and answers, I jump close to Sam. Something had just whispered again. I bury my face in Sam’s chest once more as he rubs my back.

“I heard that one,” Sam says more to Colby than me, “There was a whisper.”

Colby shakes his head, “I didn’t hear it but she sure did,” he says motioning to me. I back away from my shelter and motion for the boys to continue.

After a while and a couple of investigations, Sam and Colby decide it’s time to bring out the Estes Method. As Colby goes under, Sam leans over to whisper to me, “Do you want to sit this one out?” I shake my head but take his hand in mine. Sam begins asking questions and immediately receives answers. As the questions get more intense, I hold Sam’s hand even tighter trying not to show how terrified I am. I know that if Sam knows how scared I am he’ll cut it and we’ll leave.

“Is there anything specific you’d like us to know before we leave?” Sam asks. We receive, “Yeah,” from Colby just as something grabs the back of my neck. I leap from my seat and scream so loud that Colby yanks the headset and blindfold off looking around slightly panicked. Sam jumps up to collect me in his arms, checking me over as I try to calm my shaking and my eyes dart around trying to pinpoint the source of my fear.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Colby asks, standing from his chair.

Sam, whose inspection has brought him around behind me, waves Colby over out of the corner of my eye. Colby steps behind me as I feel Sam lower the back of my shirt slightly and lift my ponytail. “Holy shit,” Colby mumbles as I see a flash and hear a camera shutter.

I hide my face in my hands as Sam gently spins me around to face them. He places his hands on either side of my face, “I’m here. I’ve got you. You are safe,” he pauses taking a deep breath, “Do you want to see it?”

I nod shakily, knowing he’s referring to the picture of whatever is on my back. Colby shows me the screen of Sam’s phone. There is four long scratches from my hairline to between my shoulder blades, thankfully not drawing blood. Saying nothing I simply bury my face in Sam’s chest once again and his arms immediately wrap around me. “She’s shaking,” Colby notes.

“Yeah, we need to leave,” Sam states already moving toward the exit. Colby collects the gear before quickly catching up to us. About halfway to the car, Sam stops and lifts me into his arms. Once we reach the car, Sam opens the passenger door and gently sits me down in the seat. I clutch onto his shirt, not wanting him to pull away but he takes my hands in his, kissing them before placing them in my lap and squatting down in front of me.

Sam brushes my hair away from my face and that’s when I finally notice the same fear from my face copy and pasted onto his. His hands shake slightly as he kisses my forehead. Looking into my eyes once again, “I love you but the next time I see you so shaken just walking into a location, you’re sitting out or we’re leaving. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you.” I nod my head and finally seeming content that I’ve calmed down he stands, “Pull your legs in, Darling.” I do as instructed before Sam closes the door and makes his way over to the driver side door as Colby slides into the backseat.

Colby leans forward and pats my head as Sam cranks the car and begins exiting the property. “You’re gonna be okay, Kid,” Colby affirms before he leans back to get comfortable for the ride home. Colby’s always been like a brother to me and no matter how well he hides it, I know he’s just as scared as Sam and I. Sam takes my hand in his as we make our way back to the hotel.

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harrysfolklore · 2 years

Note

Bubba's first day of school!!

4th day !! thank you for sticking by we’re almost done <3 i have to be honest, this is my favorite written piece i’ve done so give it some loooove

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"Are we sure he needs to go?" Harry's whiny voice echoed through your ears, you were currently in the kitchen packing your baby boy's lunch, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich along with crackers and star shaped kiwis and strawberries, just how he liked it.

"We talked about this, H, he's four now he needs to go to school," you told your whiny husband, turning around to look at him and noticing the prominent pout on his face "Oh come on, stop being dramatic, It's just going to be a few hours and he'll be back home." you moved towards him, wrapping your arms around his torso and looking up at him, he gave you the biggest puppy eyes you've ever seen and you internally chuckled thinking about how he was being more dramatic than his four year old.

"But what if he feels lonely? What if- what if it's hard for him to talk to the other kids and he feels sad? Besides, you've been doing a great job educating him, you know, he's way smarter than other four year olds, he doesn't need school, baby, we can homeschool him together, yeah we could do that and- " you listened to his rambling with a small smile on your face, before he continued on, you grabbed his face with both of your hands and pecked his lips firmly.

"First of all, breathe," you told him when you pulled away, you watched him do as you said and let out a small 'done' right after "Second of all, this is your son we're talking about, honey, he's going to befriend every single kid as soon as he walks into the classroom, he has your extroverted demeanor and bubbly personality, he'll be fine," he grabbed one of your wrists and kissed your palm that was still holding his face, you could tell that he was still anxious about the entire thing, "And as tempting as having him at home all day sounds, he needs to go out there and interact with other kids, and learn from actual teachers and not just me and my parenting books." he continued pressing kisses on your palm and the inside of your wrist before he brought you in for a hug, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and scratched his scalp. He just needed to be baby-ed for a while and he would be fine.

"I know, I know. You're right, I'm just being a dramatic, overprotective dad who wants his boy to stay little forever." you couldn't help but melt at his words, watching Harry become a dad made you fall in love with him all over again, there was something about him teaching your son how to brush his teeth, tie his shoelaces, how to respect others and treat people with kindness, you wouldn't change that for anything.

"You truly are an overprotective dad, I can't even imagine how bad is going to get when we have a little girl." you said with a little smirk, and one made its way to Harry's face at your words, already feeling giddy about what you were implying "Are you suggesting It's time for baby #2?" he pulled you closer and connected your lips together, you let him grab the back of your neck to deepen the kiss but a little voice calling for you made you stop.

"Mummy, daddy, I'm ready for school!" your little boy squealed, his voice laced with excitement and the pitter-patter of his tiny feet dragging him all the way to the kitchen.

"We'll continue this later," he whispered against your lips before pecking them one last time and letting go of your waist to pick his son up from the ground. "There's my baby bubba, because you're still my baby, right? You might go to big boy school but you're still a baby" he obnoxiously pecked your baby's cheek and tickled his belly, making him squeal and laugh "Come on, say bye to mummy before we head out" he passed the little boy to your arms and you couldn't help but get a bit emotional, even though you were giving a lecture to your husband about it just minutes ago.

"Remember to have lots of fun and be kind, okay?" you softly told him, pecking his forehead and smiling at the cheery "Okay!" he let out.

You put him down and watched as he jogged to you husband who was waiting for him by the front door, with his little backpack hanging on his broad shoulder, and with a final wave and a flew kisses blown your way, they were out of the house.

You found yourself getting a bittersweet feeling over your son starting school, you felt emotional and a tad bit sad over you baby not being so baby anymore, but at the same time, you couldn't help but feel excited about the tiny human that was growing inside your belly that would be the new baby of the house in a few months. And of course, you couldn't wait to tell your husband.

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halsteadlover · 8 months

Text

Unexpected

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested by @stu-machers-girl: Reader had known Jay since she’d first started as a dispatcher for Chicago. It wasn’t long until she’d developed a crush on the older man. She didn’t say anything since she realized he was dating Erin but then she left. She left and Jay got kidnapped; reader heard it over the radio. Hank texted her to say they’d found him and she left her job without saying anything and sped to the hospital. When she saw the blonde detective in the waiting room they got into a fight and reader punched her. She refused to leave the hospital until Jay woke up and laid in bed with him the entire time. When he woke up, in the heat of the moment her lips were on his in a moment.

• Warnings: slight mention of injuries and ‘violence’ (pls bear with me I can’t write fight scene not even for saving my life), cuss words. I don’t know, let me know if there’s anything else <3

• Word count: 8368.

• A/N: so yeah, I got carried away, pls don’t hate me, I think that’s the longest piece I’ve ever written 😭. I changed it up a bit at the end, I hope it’s okay. Please let me know what you think of this? I hope you’ll like it and I already apologize for any grammar error ❤️ comment, like and reblog if you want, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you so much for your constant support, I love you all xx

It was hard.

God, why did being in love have to be so tough?

You thought it’d be easier to control your feelings. You thought you'd be better at pretending everything was fine, pretending your heart didn't actually open into a chasm every time you even heard his name.

You thought it was just a simple crush, a simple infatuation that – knowing it couldn't go any further – it’d soon vanish. But unfortunately it wasn't easy and you soon found yourself in a spiral of suffering and thuds in your stomach. Your mind knew there would never be anything but your heart didn't want to understand it.

Falling in love with Jay wasn't planned, you’d never imagine it and you couldn't even explain how it happened or when. It's those things that just happen without any warning.

You first met Jay after your first shift as a paramedic at Molly's, where your colleagues used to meet after their shifts.

You were sitting at a table with a beer in front of you, you didn't know anyone yet – except for the colleagues you had met during the day who weren't there – and you looked around, sipping the drink from time to time, wondering when you were going to start to feel that place like home.

You moved to Chicago a month prior and it goes without saying you underestimated how difficult it’d be to start a new life in a new city, starting from scratch.

Jay had seen you from afar, looking tired and disoriented and for some reason he had decided to approach you.

When you first saw him you felt the air being cut from your chest, you didn't expect someone – someone so damn beautiful – to approach you.

That stranger you soon discovered was named Jay found himself talking with you, asking you questions about yourself and why he had never seen you before. You explained to him that you had just started working and you found out he had been a detective in the Intelligence unit for about six months.

You were never one to talk to strangers, to tell someone something about your life on the first time you met them, but for some strange reason those bright green eyes and his reassuring smile made you feel at ease, and as the evening wore by, you thanked yourself for not deciding to stay home that night.

Jay was an angel to you, literally.

After that evening he promised you he’d give you a tour of the city, making you visit the most beautiful places and taking you to the best places to eat. You exchanged numbers and he also made you promise you’d call him whenever you felt alone and wanted company.

He also introduced you to the rest of his team, as well as his closest friends, and they were just as kind and welcoming, letting you know you’d meet several times even during work shifts because of criminals and things like that.

Three years have passed since that evening and Jay kept all his promises.

Over time he became your closest friend and you spent time together whenever you both could. You had become his anchor and he had become your safe haven.

You had promised yourself over the time that your friendship would never go any further – also because Jay had never done anything that could’ve made you think otherwise – but the more time you spent together, the more you found yourself falling more and more in love with him.

You’d never tell him about it, even if it meant crying nights where you wanted to do nothing but run away and forget about him. If it was initially bearable and there was your friendship to give you strength, seeing him with another woman broke your heart more than you ever expected.

Erin was a colleague of his and you had seen their love story born right away. You'd heard Jay confide in you about her, asking you for advice on her when they were fighting, and you were there every time listening to him trying not to cry in front of him. There were times when Jay noticed that there was something wrong with you, he knew you by now, but you always managed to disengage the conversation by telling him that you were just tired from work.

You promised yourself you'd always be by his side but seeing him so happy with her… Damn it, it was so hard.

You couldn't take it anymore, you were a walking disaster and all your colleagues and friends saw how you weren't as happy and carefree as you used to be. Sylvie, who was one of your closest friends and who knew all the history with Jay, tried to always be by your side, convincing you to move on, to try to open up your world and that you didn't have to cry for him forever.

She was right, completely right.

Because of this, you had begun to distance yourself from Jay a little bit, making excuses not to go out after work or limiting interactions during the shift to the minimum possible and not speaking to him except from a professional point of view.

This broke your heart, you missed spending time with him, God how you missed him, but more than him you had to love yourself and you knew spending time with him, seeing him with another woman only would made you suffer.

Jay had immediately perceived this change but he couldn't explain why. He had tried so many times to talk to you but you didn't want to tell him what was going on and it made him particularly tense and uncomfortable.

Even Erin had noticed his moodiness and she hated to know it was because of you. She hated you were always there, in front of him, in his head, always on the way, she hated seeing how much he cared about you, she hated the way he dropped everything and ran to you whenever you needed him.

She hated you.

And, dear lord, how much you hated her too. The feelings between you and her were pretty mutual.

You didn't know it, but you had been the cause of many arguments a thousand times between them. Erin wanted him to stay away from you, Jay refused to and always told her if she really wanted him you were part of the deal, take it or leave it.

You were at home one evening, resting on the sofa after a grueling work shift while watching a movie on TV and eating some chips. Sylvie had offered you to go to some bar and get drunk but you declined, not in the mood to socialize or even drink. You just wanted to stay at home and rest, hoping that day would soon be forgotten.

The ringing of your doorbell almost made you jump and you furrowed your eyebrows, not expecting anyone at the time. You placed the bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of the sofa and got up and as you rubbed your hands on your shirt to remove the crumbs from the chips, you went towards the door.

You expected it to be Sylvie but, after looking through the peephole, your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Jay.

“Oh god,” you muttered to yourself, glancing at your shabby outfit which consisted of a simple pair of midnight blue leggings and a gray t-shirt.

What was he doing there?

“Y/N open the door, I know you're home,” Jay's voice came muffled through the door. For a moment you considered ignoring him until he got tired of it and walked away but you knew that would never happen and he’d keep banging on the doorbell until you opened it.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down and slow down your racing heartbeat, and opened the door after removing the chain.

Jay looked up at you, his features visibly relaxing as his eyes fell on your figure. Your mouth felt dry as your gaze traveled up and down his body for an instant, as if to accept that he was fine.

“Hi,” you muttered, your voice so thin you were afraid he might not hear you. Your stomach was in a vice and a flock of butterflies had exploded inside you. A wave of heat run through your body and you were sure the flush of your cheeks was comparable to a tomato. “Come in.”

Why were you feeling so damn nervous? He was always Jay, he was always your best friend.

But the best friend I love madly, added your conscience.

Maybe you were nervous because you haven't seen him in two weeks, avoiding him like the plague.

You opened the door and moved to the side, giving him space to enter and as he passed the trail of his scent hit you full in the face making you almost faint.

I can’t do this.

Jay sat on the couch without saying anything, glancing at the TV that was still playing the movie, waiting for you to join him.

“You okay?” you asked as your eyes noticed the way his face was screwed up in a less than happy expression. You tried to avoid him yes, for your own good, but the thought something might’ve happened to him was tormenting you. He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands against his face in frustration before glancing at you.

“I don’t know to be honest,” he replied, but without elaborating further “What about you? Why did you disappear for the last couple of weeks? I texted you I don't know how many times and called you a thousand times. Did I do something wrong?”.

The crack your heart made was so loud you thought even Jay could hear it from where he sat. Your brain stopped working for a moment trying to think of a response to give him that wasn't ‘you know Jay I was avoiding you because I love you and because I hate seeing you with that snake’.

“N-no, of course not Jay how can you think that?” You replied, moving closer to him and taking his hand in yours, instantly feeling a rush of shivers running down your spine. He glanced at your clasped hands and then at you, with an expression you couldn't quite read.

“I… I don't know,” he sighed, his hand caressing the back of your hand, something he didn’t quite realize he was doing “I just… I missed you.”

If your heart was already broken, at this very moment it exploded into a thousand pieces of confetti and colors inside your chest. It was as if you had been punched in the stomach, the breath cut from your lungs. It was so good to hear him say it but so painful at the same time.

You wanted to yell at him to not to say it again, because you knew his ‘I missed you’ wasn't meant in the same way you missed him.

“I missed you too so much Jay,” you almost whispered, smiling at the same time to mask the sudden urge to cry. You let go of his hand, unable to maintain that contact anymore without your stomach doing somersaults. The absence of his warmth was immediately felt but you tried to remain as impassive as possible. “What happened? If you've come here at almost midnight it's because there's something wrong. Do you want to talk to me about it?”.

He nodded feebly, taking his gaze away from you to the ceiling. He was leaning back on the sofa, his head on it as his eyes roamed the white ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing on the planet, his hands folded on his stomach.

“Erin and I broke up.”

You’d imagined anything, a problem at work, maybe a family issue, anything else, but not the words that had just slipped from his mouth.

You couldn't hide the shock as your eyes and mouth opened wide and you even felt guilty for an instant when the only feeling you felt was… Relief, joy. “W-what? How? When? Why?” You bombarded him with questions “I'm sorry Jay,” but you weren't sorry about what had happened. You were sorry because seeing him like that was painful and you would’ve done anything to make him feel better, seeing his beautiful smile on his face.

He brought his eyes from the ceiling to yours, turning his head to the side to look at you. He didn't say anything, he just looked at you. For the second time since he came over, you couldn't read his gaze and you would’ve paid gold to know what he was thinking.

He was looking at you and you felt as if a rope had been placed around your neck and your grip tightened by the way your breath was cut in half. He looked at you with such an intensity as if he wanted to read your soul, analyzing every inch of your face at the same time and in that moment more than ever you wanted to shrink to such a point you’d disappear from his sight.

He looked at you as if he was looking at you for the first time and you felt vulnerable, exposed and while his eyes were chained to yours for an instant you feared he could find out about your feelings for him just by the was his eyes were piercing you.

It was you who looked away first, unable to maintain eye contact anymore and fearing you might say something stupid if you continued to stare at him for another few seconds.

Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it would stop any second as you kept repeating yourself to stay calm. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of fading and you thanked God that the lights in the living room were off and that there was only the one on the TV which, however, didn't illuminate quite well your face.

The sigh Jay let out made you look up at him, noticing he was still looking at you. But when your eyes ended up on his again, he was the one to look away.

“Don’t need to be sorry,” he said simply and you nodded though he couldn't even see you, “She left.”

For the second time another wave of shock went through you and a thousand questions crossed your mind. You couldn't say you weren't sorry, you would’ve been hypocritical to say otherwise, but you wondered what the hell had happened. How did they go from being the happiest couple alive to her walking away? For what reason did she leave?

It wouldn't have surprised you at all if she was the reason for the breakup, you didn't know her well – you didn't want to – but based on what Jay told you, she had a habit of running away from every fight and problem that came up.

“She always does, doesn’t she? She will definitely come back,” you answered even as you prayed deep inside with every fiber of your being that it wouldn't happen. You knew you were selfish, he was hurting but damn it, you were human too and you couldn't mask what you didn't feel.

He shook his head slightly. “No, I don't think she will,” He lifted his head, sitting up straight and looking at you again. “And for what that matters, I don't even care if she comes back or not,” he paused again, thinking about his words “But, I don't want to talk about it.”

“Yeah sorry,” there was a moment of silence where you looked at each other again and the way he was looking at you was making your stomach twist like a contortionist “But just tell me how you are you feeling Jay, I hate seeing you like this,” and you were sincere, although you didn't like Erin, you wished nothing but happiness for Jay and seeing him like this made you feel as helpless as few other times.

“I'm fine now,” he replied and he really seemed to be sincere “Really, I feel… Relieved. I just needed to be with my best friend now. You made me worry so much you know that?”.

My best friend.

You tried to ignore the thud in your heart. “I'm really sorry Jay. It was such a hectic time between work I didn't have time for anything else. I'm sorry I wasn't around so much.”

He shook his head again, as if to tell you not to worry by smiling weakly and causing a feeling of warmth to spread through your heart. “What matters to me is that you’re okay I… I really missed you.”

The next day you went to work with the dark circles under your eyes reaching down to your feet. You only managed to sleep a couple of hours the night before, having spent most of the night talking to Jay.

God how much you loved that man.

When you were with him it was as if the world around you vanished and it didn't matter how long you lost touch or didn't speak to each other, the moment you’d meet again everything was back to the way it was before, as if time had never passed.

You found yourself talking late, losing track of time, laughing and joking as always and it was times like this that reminded you why you were in love with him. Jay didn't stop smiling even for a minute and seeing him so carefree, even if only for a while, was beautiful. He deserved to be happy, always.

You talked and talked and talked until you fell asleep on the sofa in each other's arms. Only when you opened your eyes you realized your head was resting on his chest and his arm was possessively encircling your waist. You stayed paralyzed for an instant, afraid to make any movement that might wake him up.

He must not have noticed it.

You cautiously sat up and then brought your gaze to him, letting your eyes wander over his relaxed features and you let yourself go for a moment to your fantasy. A fantasy where Jay being there next to you was normal, were you could wake up every morning in his arms as he tightly hugged you.

During your work shift you tried to keep your mind busy, focusing only on the calls and the patients you’d be treating.

Two days flew by like this, with Sylvie doing nothing but tease you about Jay after you told her what had happened. You omitted he and Erin had broken up, this wasn't about you and it wasn't your call to tell other people.

However, you hadn't heard from Jay for two days, he didn't text you or even replied to yours. Only then you understood how he must’ve felt when it was you who didn't reply to his text and you promised yourself you’d never do anything like this again.

You were scared to death because he didn't usually disappear like that, so suddenly, and given the nature of his work you couldn't help but imagine that something terrible had happened and the more time passed, the more this thesis was confirmed.

Of course, you knew he couldn't always answer the phone, and there had been other times when, for example, following an undercover operation you didn't hear from him for even a week but in those cases he did everything to warn you first, reassuring you’d see each other as soon as possible.

This time, however, you had a horrible feeling, a premonition that was sadly confirmed by Voight.

You were packing up the ambulance near the end of your shift when your cell phone rang and Sergeant Voight's name appeared on your screen. Your heart instantly skipped a beat and you instantly understood something serious must’ve happened for him to call you.

“Hello? Sarge?” you answered almost immediately.

“Hi kid,” his hoarse voice replied “I hope I’m not disturbing you. It’s about Halstead…”

You closed your eyes as if those words had caused you physical pain, as if someone had hit you in the face. All the colors disappeared from your face and anxiety twisted your stomach.

“What happened? Is he fine? Tell me he's okay please,” you spoke frantically, getting out of the ambulance and closing it “Where is he?”.

You heard Voight sigh on the other end of the phone. “He's fine now, he… He was kidnapped but we found him. We are at Med's. I wanted to tell you before you heard from someone else. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.”

You couldn't describe the horrible feeling that went through you hearing those words. It was like someone ripped your heart out of your chest clamping your lungs, you stopped breathing for a second and you didn't care how exaggerated that might be, but whatever happened to him you wished it was you on the hospital bed.

“I'll be right there,” you said and closed the call before waiting for Voight’s answer. You didn't even care about warning your boss, much less some of your colleagues watched you ran away like you were nuts, you just wanted to go to him, you just wanted to see him, make sure he was okay.

The car journey to the Med's was one of the most distressing and longest of your life. You nearly collided with other cars several times but at that moment the only thought that crossed your mind was Jay.

What had happened to him? Was it serious? Was he awake?

God please let him be okay.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. That wasn't the time to cry, to be weak, you had to be there for Jay.

You thought for a moment what would happen if… God, fuck, you didn't even want to think about it, you couldn't imagine it. You couldn't even think of not having him in your life, you couldn't imagine not being able to see him anymore, getting lost in his eyes, never hearing his laughter or seeing his radiant smile again. You couldn't even think you couldn't hug him when you were sad, stuff yourselves with food watching trash TV until a nervous breakdown.

You didn't even realize you were crying until you got to Med's and parked your car. You quickly dried your tears and ran to the hospital, where, in the waiting room, you found all of his colleagues. And by all of his colleagues, you meant everyone.

Erin Lindsay was there and her disgusted gaze was on you.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” she exclaimed approaching you threateningly. You didn't let yourself be intimidated, on the contrary, the mere tone of her voice made your blood boil in your veins. How dare she talk to you like that?

“Don't you even dare take one more step towards me. Move out to way, I’m here to see Jay,” you spat with venom as the others looked at each other unsure whether to intervene or not.

“Lindsay…” Voight called back, grabbing her arm but she jerked away from his grip, still glaring at you with contempt.

“Turn your ass and get the fuck out of here. I've had enough of you, I'm so tired of always having you around Y/N. Why don't you just understand he doesn't want you?!”.

“You seem to be very familiar with walking away and running away don't you? Isn't that what you always do huh? Avoid problems? You really got some nerve to be here after you left him,” you pointed a finger at her. “I'm not going to stand here and make you yell at me. You really want me to believe you care about him? You wouldn't even be here if he wasn’t kidnapped!”.

“I left him? Is that what he told you?” Erin let out a wry laugh “I can’t believe it. I really wonder what he saw in you. Seriously, look at yourself. You're so pathetic...”

A wave of anger shot through your body and before she could even continue her insults, your fist slammed into her face, causing her to flinch back. Everyone let out a verse of bewilderment, immediately intervening to separate you and Lindsay who were about to kill each other right then and there.

“Y/N! Fuck’s sake! Just calm down! Take it easy, it’s okay,” Kevin dragged you away, shaking you off your shoulders as if to bring you to your senses. You watched her walk away with Voight, one hand on her bleeding nose.

You knew the repercussions there would be but you couldn't care less because it felt so good. You've wanted to do this for so long, for the way she's always treated you, for the contempt she's always shown towards you.

“I'm calm, I'm okay,” you muttered, throwing your hands up in surrender and trying to ignore the pain in the hand you punched her with. “I'm sorry about this but… I have to…”

“I know that's not true,” Kevin chuckled “Go,” he nodded towards Jay's room and without having to repeat it twice you immediately went to him.

You entered the room and closed the door behind you, immediately glancing at the man lying on the bed and the sound of his heartbeats coming from the machine filled the silence.

Your heart broke into a thousand pieces as you saw his battered face, a purple bruise on his cheek, a cut on his eyebrow and and other one on the lower lip which felt deep and quite sore. But despite this he was still the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life.

You approached him, keeping as quiet as possible in an effort not to wake him up. He almost looked like an angel while he slept, as if nothing could hurt or disturb him at that moment.

You placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it with such delicacy and lightness you were almost uncertain of the contact. Your fingers ran through his hair, a gesture you knew he loved and made him relaxed.

Your eyes traveled down his chest and only then you noticed the white bandage that wrapped around his chest. You tried to keep from crying. You hated it, you hated he was suffering, you hated you weren't there with him to help him. Your heart was tightened even more as you noticed red marks on his wrists, some superficial and some a little deeper, a sign that he had been tied up.

“What have they done to you?” You whispered and your eyes were on his face again, continuing to run your fingers gently through his hair. “I'm so sorry Jay.”

You didn't know exactly what you were apologizing for, you just did.

You stayed next to him for an indefinite amount of time, you didn't look at the time but you understood that hours had passed when the sunlight was replaced by the darkness of the night.

Will tried to convince you to go home and rest and that he’d call you for any news but you refused, you didn't want Jay to wake up alone in that cold hospital room. You knew how much he loathed them and you wanted him to see a friendly face as soon as he opened his eyes.

The attempt of Jay's team was also useless, when they understood you’d never leave until he woke up, they recommended you to update them on any changes.

You spent hours sitting on a chair next to his bed until you too were asleep, your arms resting on Jay's legs.

When he opened his eyes he found himself plunged into darkness if it hadn't been for the dim light from the hospital chandelier. It didn't take him long to remember what had happened, what had led him to be there. He tried to stand up but an excruciating pain shot through his chest, forcing him to lay down again.

This and also the sleeping figure in front of him.

A small smile was born on his swollen lips as he watched you sleep sitting on the chair that seemed anything but comfortable. How long have you been there?

He raised a hand and didn't even have time to rest it on your arm before you snapped sitting, looking around panicked for a moment. Your eyes widened to see Jay in front of you with his eyes finally open and the joy you felt in that moment was like nothing else you've ever felt.

“Jay! Thank God you're awake!” You exclaimed and in the joy of the moment you hugged him, squeezing him harder than you should’ve and letting a small cry of pain escape him “Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,” you pulled away from him “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Should I call Will?”.

Jay shook his head slightly, a small smile on his lips. “I am fine. Where is the bed remote control? I need to sit up.”

You quickly grabbed the remote from the nightstand next to the bed and handed it to him, watching as the back of the bed lifted and he settled into position so he could finally take a good look at you. “Come here, why are you so far away?” He patted the mattress and you didn't let yourself repeat it twice, sitting next to him.

“Voight called me…” you were the first to speak “But he didn't tell me what happened.”

Jay let out a sigh, flinching as a pain shot through his chest. “It was an undercover mission, nothing too difficult. I was supposed to exchange the money with the drugs and then arrest them. Easy,” he explained, “I don’t know how but someone of them found out I was a cop so they kidnapped me and as you can see they beat me up for the holidays.”

Your eyes filled with tears but that time you couldn't hold them back. You felt a whirlwind of emotions, fear, happiness, anxiety, relief and it was too much for you to hold back and you lowered your gaze to not let him see you.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jay's voice came as a sweet melody to your ears “Please don't cry Y/N, I don’t like seeing you like this. It's okay now, I'm fine, it's going to take a lot longer for you to get rid of me,” he attempted to reassure you. “Come here darling.” His hands pulled you close as his arms wrapped around you in a warm hug. You hugged him back, being careful not to hurt him further, and let yourself go into a liberating cry, so grateful you still had the opportunity to be able to do this.

His lips kissed your cheek and your heart leapt in your chest at the contact.

God Jay you're killing me.

“I'm so sorry Jay, you shouldn't be the one to comfort me now,” you murmured, pulling away from the hug, still looking down. You grabbed a tissue off the top of the nightstand and wiped away your tears, still shaken from everything that had happened. You felt so selfish at the same time Jay was on a hospital bed and you were the desperate one.

“Y/N don't even say that as a joke. Look at me, please.”

You did as he told you and your eyes met his, triggering a sensation that was like being kicked in the stomach.

“I'm fine, okay? These are just bruises, they hurt but they will go away. I wish I could tell you it's the last time but I can't, it will happen again but I want you to know I’ll always find a way back to you, okay? I won't leave you alone.”

His words were like a snake venom and antidote at the same time.

“Jay… Please…” you whispered, tears still flowing from your eyes “Don't do this to me.”

A confused expression appeared on his face. “What do you mean?”.

You shook your head, as if trying to tell him it didn't mean anything. “I just… I was so scared Jay…I thought about losing you…”

Jay reached for your hand but a frown appeared on his face as he noticed, despite the dim lights, the swelling on it. “Y/N what the hell is this? What happened to you? Why is your hand like this?”.

Shit.

You withdrew your hand, moving your fingers slightly but not showing how sore it was. You had never thrown a punch before and never imagined how painful it was. “Nothing. I closed my hand in the car door on the way here, it's no big deal.”

You knew he’d never buy this excuse but it was worth a try.

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? Tell me the truth. Did someone hurt you?”.

You sighed. “You’ll hate me.”

Jay looked at you like you just sprouted a second head, really confused. “What? Why on earth should I hate you?”.

“I punched Erin,” you blurted out so quickly, wishing he hadn't heard you but when you saw his eyes widen so wide they almost popped out of their socket, you knew he definitely did.

“What? You really did it? Seriously?” He struggled to imagine that you could do something like that, you’d never hurt even a fly. “Why? Why happened?”.

“She started saying bad things to me and I got so mad so I just… Punched her,” you sighed “I didn't even realize it… I know I shouldn't have…”

Jay was silent for a moment, still unable to believe what you had just said. He knew there was bad blood between you and his ex-girlfriend but he never imagined you’d even punch her but he also knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that if you had come this far it was because you had a reason to.

“You hate me now right?”.

He shook his head. “Absolutely not Y/N. I mean, I don't like the idea of you going around punching people but I guess you had your reasons.”

You thought back to Erin's words and that was enough to make you angry again. She deserved it all right and you don't regret it even a bit.

“She's still your ex girlfriend…”

“I know.”

You noticed the way his expression didn't change a bit at the mention of her, he had no reaction. He was more worried about your hand then her. “You don’t care she was here?”.

He remained silent for a moment, observing you for a few moments and then shook his head slightly. “Not one bit, I told I wouldn’t care if she came back. I know it's a bad thing to say, but that's how it is.”

“But you were together until a few days ago how can you not care?” You were so confused.

“I’m the one broke up with her, after all. I think it's normal.”

It wasn’t but still.

It was your turn to widen your eyes and mouth in shock. Did you hear that right?

“What? Really?! I thought she was the one who left you.”

You never expected it, you really thought sue was the one who suddenly left him and not the other way around. You had so many questions to ask him but you didn't know whether to ask him or not, after all it was none of your business.

He nodded. “It wasn't fair to just go on with that relationship, not for me or for her.”

“And why’s that?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer. Your eyes were fixed on him and even with that little light they managed to shine and stand out. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought you were having a heart attack at any moment, the air suddenly became tense and every cell in your body seemed to be on fire.

“I…” he spoke “I have someone else in mind.”

Your pounding heart stopped for an instant and the thump in your stomach was such that you felt like you were about to throw up.

“Oh.”

That was all you could say. You tried to keep your expression neutral as if these short simple words hadn't hit you full in the face like a lorry. Being run over would’ve probably hurt less.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, biting the insides of your cheeks and pressing nails against your palms to avoid crying in front of him again.

You couldn't believe it, or rather, yes, you could believe it but you didn't imagine it would hurt so much. You couldn’t believe it was happening again. It was like Erin all over again.

Oh god no please, I can’t do this.

You wondered who she was. Was she someone you knew? He had never mentioned someone else yet you two talked about everything. Or almost everything.

You looked down rubbing your hands on your pants before standing up and walking over to the nightstand. Jay followed your movements with his eyes, watching you pour water into a glass before drinking it in one gulp.

“Do you want some?” you asked him, but without looking at him and keeping your eyes on the glass

“Yes, thank you,” he replied confused “Y/N… Are you okay?”.

“Sure,” you babbled as you grabbed another glass and poured some water into it. You handed it to him, never meeting his eyes. You couldn't look at him, not at the time. If you had done it you would’ve collapsed and you couldn't in front of him, you didn't want to.

He drank the water and the dryness in his throat finally went away, feeling suddenly better. He continued to look at you, noting how your head was turned towards the window.

“Y/N… Can you look at me please? What’s going on?” he pressed confused on your sudden change of mood.

You turned to him and gave him a quick glance, noticing the empty plastic cup in his hands. “Do you want some more?” You asked feebly as you reached up to him to take your glass but before you could pull away he grabbed your wrists, his grip both firm and delicate at the same time. You jumped, not expecting it, dropping the plastic glass on the floor.

“Look at me,” he urged but you refused, your eyes watering and the lump in your throat increasingly suffocating. A solitary tear slid down your cheek as he placed his thumb and forefinger under your chin, lifting your head and forcing you to look at him.

“Y/N talk to me please,” he whispered and his tone was so soft it was enough to send you over the edge. You lost control and started crying. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your body as best as he could.

“No… Just let me go...” you muttered through your tears, trying to escape his grip. You couldn't do this, it was too much for you, too much to bear. You just wanted to run away in that moment, to be away from him.

“Shh, it's okay darling, it's okay. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere,” he whispered in your ear as his hand stroked your back in an attempt to cheer you up. But he couldn't do it.

This was all so paradoxical. He was the only person on earth able to understand you, to make you feel better with a single hug and with the mere presence of him and it was paradoxical because, at the same time, he was also the cause of your suffering.

“N-no Jay…” you stammered, pulling away from his embrace “Please let me go. Don't do this to me. Stop doing this to me...”

You stood up and walked away from him, wiping your tears with the backs of your hands. “I can't take it anymore Jay, I can't do this again.”

“Doing what? Y/N please come here. Talk to me,” he begged you.

Is he serious?

You shook your head and wordlessly walked to the door to leave, but when you heard movement behind you you whirled around to see Jay taking off the covers from his body and climbing out of bed.

“What are you doing? No! Get back to bed,” you ordered, your cheeks still wet with tears, running towards him when his feet hit the ground and tried to get up. He grabbed your wrists again, pulling you towards him and placing you between his legs. “Jay…”

“Tell me what's going on and I'll let you go,” his voice was firm and decisive and his tone hinted he’d live up to his words even if it meant trudging all the way out of the hospital.

“Jay for fuck’s sake why can’t you just understand? You really don't see it? You really can’t see I can’t take all of this anymore? You really can't see how much I fucking love you and how much I care about you! I can't do it anymore Jay, I really tried with Erin… I tried to help you, to be supportive… I tried but I can't take it a second time… I can’t…” You blurted out in the heat of the moment but slapped your mouth with your hands as soon as you realized what you had just said. You wished a hole would open in the ground and the earth would swallow you alive.

Jay was looking at you as if he had just seen a ghost and the silence that had invaded the room was almost deafening. You didn't expect an answer, you knew he wouldn't say anything, but God it was so still painful.

“Y/N… I…” he stammered, speechless.

“Jay… Don't worry, seriously,” you interjected trying to keep your composure even if you were feeling a storm inside “I know you don't feel the same and it's fine, I'm sorry for telling you like this…” you croaked, your voice broken by tears “But now it's better if I go... You need to rest.”

The grip around your wrists loosened and you took the opportunity to free yourself away. You took a few steps back, your heart heavy as Jay continued to stare at you petrified.

You were about to leave when, suddenly and against all your expectations, you felt a hand on your arm that made you turn around and a pair of lips pressed against yours.

Your eyes widened in shock as your mind tried to process what was happening. Time seemed to stop and even though his lips were touching yours so lightly it felt like they were just caressing each other, it was as if a storm had hit you full blown.

That kiss was light, sweet, as if he was testing your reaction but when you closed your eyes and returned it, that lightness was immediately replaced by the determination with which his mouth moved against yours.

His hands were on your face as you both let go and for an instant you forgot about everything around you, that you were in a hospital room, that a minute ago you had confessed his love for him. You wanted that kiss for so long. For so long you watched him from a distance and imagined what it would be like to have his lips on yours and now that you were really feeling it, god, it felt like heaven.

No image created in your mind could compare to the flock of butterflies flying in your stomach, to the feeling that kiss made you experience.

It was like thunder hit you, like an explosion of rainbows, like being electrocuted, like being burned alive.

You wanted so badly to find the right words to describe what you felt but you just couldn't.

Jay slid his fingers from your cheeks through your hair, deepening the kiss more and more, forgetting the wound on his lip and all the pains that coursed through his body. Your hands clenched the hospital gown he wore into a fist, being careful not to touch him even though your mind was completely racing.

He was kissing you fervently now, passionately, as if his life depended on it, as if he wanted to suck your soul out of your body. And that was exactly how you felt. If you didn't know him better, you would’ve said he was kissing you as if he too had wanted it for a long time, as if he was trying to vent all the frustration that had accumulated over time.

When you pulled away you were both out of breath like after a marathon. His hands stroked your hair before brushing your cheeks as his thumbs traced imaginary circles on your skin. His nose kept brushing yours and you didn't know how you managed to stand, your legs feeling like jelly.

“You didn't ask me who she is,” he whispered and if he wasn't already hurt you probably would’ve punched him. How could he say such a thing? How could he kiss you and then say that?

“Jay what the fuck...” you tried to walk away but he interrupted you.

“Ask me Y/N. Ask me who’s the person I always have in my mind. Who is the woman I left Erin for.” His eyes kept alternating between yours and your lips trembling and flushed and a little swollen from that impetuous kiss.

“Fuck you! No, I don't want to know! How can you say this!”.

“Shh,” he smiled slightly as his thumb traced the outline of your lips. How could he smile in such a situation and be so heartless? “Please Y/N. Trust me. Ask me.”

“You are such an asshole Jay, I can't believe this…”

“It's you,” he cut you off again and you froze, not believing you heard right.

“W-what?”.

“It’s you. You’re the person who’s constantly on my mind, you are the one who invades my thoughts from the moment I wake up in the morning until I close my eyes at night. I couldn't continue with her, I tried, I tried to ignore it, but you were always there in front of me, always in my head even when you weren't there,” he confessed “When I realized you were the one I want, that it was you who made my heart beat more than anyone else ever did… Fuck, I can’t even talk with you looking at me like this,” he stopped, pressing his fingers on your skin, as if to vent the built up tension.

“I realized it was you when the thought of losing you terrified more than I could even admit, when seeing her didn’t make me turn my stomach or lose my breath like it happen with you,” he paused, taking a small breath, winching at the pain “I didn't know what to do, how to behave with you, I didn't know if you felt the same and I didn't want to risk ruining our friendship and losing you, I preferred a thousand times to have you only as a friend than not to have you at all in life. But, shit, I love you too so much you stupid…” he sighed, his confession heavy in the air and at that point the tears flowed like rivers down your cheeks which he quickly wiped away with his thumbs “It was always you, always and only you and I’m so sorry i realized it so late, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how you were feeling and made you suffer like that, I will never forgive myself for that. I don't want to see you cry anymore, I don't want to see a single tear come out of these beautiful eyes again, okay? I'm yours Y/N, if you want me I'll be forever and irrevocably yours.”

You didn't know what to say.

You didn't know what to do.

You have never been in such a state of total shock like in that moment.

A thousand questions crossed your mind but you couldn't find an answer to any of them.

“Jay,” you exhaled in frustration, still crying “I don't want to suffer, I don't want to go to sleep crying anymore, I'm so tired of this. I can't… I love you, god, how much I love you. You… You make me lose my mind, my heart goes crazy for you but I also know I don't want to suffer and even if I'm in love I don't want to keep my eyes closed and be naive,” you spoke, your eyes locked in his “You just got out of a relationship and I don't want to think I'm a rebound…”

“But you're not baby, I swear you will never be. You are all I want…” he urged “I left her because I want you Y/N.”

“Jay this doubt won’t make me live peacefully. The moment I’ll be in a relationship with you, I want us to start it without interruption, without risks, without fears, without ghosts of the past,” you retorted “You can’t imagine how many times I wished for this to happen, more than you’ll ever know, but I don’t want it to be like this, not when you got out of a relationship two days ago.”

“Then I'll prove it to you, I promise Y/N. I want you, only you, forever. I understand you're scared and I promise I'll do anything to make this fear go away, I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. I don't want to give up on you, not now that I know you feel the same. God I'd let you get into my head just to show you how much every single one of my thoughts are directed only and solely towards you.” He pulled your hands away from your cheeks just so he could intertwine his fingers with yours, bringing your hands up to your lips and kissing both of them, you eyes piercing your soul with their intensity.

“You’ll be mine, that's a promise.”

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stanfanfiction · 7 months

Text

Taste of You - Ken x fem!reader - PART SEVEN

Ken goes to therapy. He has a lotta feelings okay. Very Ken centric chapter. (Yay?) and (possibly) some of the most intense sex I’ve written sooo…let’s go. Probably the longest chapter I’ve written this far, too.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY / there’s always smut there’s never not smut / lots of angst and angry feelings (Ken is trying to process all those hard human things because they’re getting to be too intense for him) / violent imaginative fears (domestic fighting, one instance of hitting 🛑 tread softly if you might be triggered by this (I don’t want anyone triggered or hurt!!)) / nightmares / rough sex / major overstim / size kink / sex toys / anal fingering / possessiveness / lots of crying tbh (Ken is emotional af) / dom!Ken / possibly bordering on some non-con ? Depending on how you view it / fuzzy sweet aftercare

Ken sat opposite the therapist, twiddling his thumbs, staring down at the floor. Occasionally he glanced up at the doctor sitting across from him, a kindly middle aged man (you had suggested he talk to a male therapist, saying maybe in some weird way it would help him deal with jealousy when having to be emotionally open with another man in the room), and he gave Ken a small smile.

“So when this strong jealous hits, what does it feel like?” The therapist asked. He had sensed Ken’s anxiety the moment he walked in the door and opted out of the sitting-with-the-clipboard-for-notes option, instead sitting comfortably in his chair, hoping a conversation-style approach would set Ken at ease.

“It’s like I’ll cease to exist if she leaves me.”

“And does anything help with that?”

“Sex does, kinda. Sometimes a lot, sometimes only for a minute.”

“Have you talked with your partner about it?”

“Yeah.”

“And how did that go?”

“She reassured me. She does every single time.”

“So this has become a consistent conversation?”

Ken paused, picking at nothing on his jeans. “I guess.”

“When was the last time you felt this way?”

“A couple days ago.”

“Did anything in particular happen to trigger it?”

“She’s having to take a class and her ex is in it.”

“Ahhhh.” The therapist mused, letting the silence sit for just a moment. “And you are worried about that?”

“I’m not worried she would do anything intentionally.”

“You’re afraid her former feelings might return for him, though.”

Ken nodded. “Yeah. I get she wouldn’t be able to help that, though. Feelings happen.”

“This is very true. Are you concerned about what might happen if those feelings return? Do you worry she would actually act on them?”

Ken frowned deeply. “I don’t think she would without talking to me first. But I don’t want them happening at all. The feelings, I mean. Because then there’s nothing I can….do.” The last word fell out as a whisper.

“You feel helpless in the relationship?” The therapist asked gently.

“Not…I.., I don’t know.”

“Have you ever been cheated on?”

“No. This is my first relationship.”

The therapist nodded. “Worries about someone leaving you are actually pretty normal, especially the first time you’re with someone.”

“Y/n told me that.”

“Has she ever shown any indication that she wants to leave you? Or that she ever might cheat on you?”

“No. I understand it’s all in my head. It still scares me, though.”

“Can I ask why you decided to come to me today? I assume this is the first time you’ve been in therapy?”

“Yeah…she’s just taking a lot of classes and she gets really stressed sometimes, especially because finals are like a month away.”

“I can understand that. You feel like your jealousy is interfering with her ability to study?”

“It stresses her out more.” Ken bit his lip. “I don’t want to do that to her.”

“So are you worried less about her randomly cheating on you, and more that you are pushing her away from you? Or, encouraging her potentially into the arms of another because she is getting stressed with how you handle your jealousy?”

Fuck. Ken hadn’t thought of it that way before. Now he was even more frightened.

When Ken didn’t answer, just stared down at the carpet, the therapist tried again. “It’s okay to be struggling with how you’re feeling. The fact that you’re working to understand why is healthy, it’s a great move on your part. It also shows her that you want to be supportive of her, and I’m sure that makes her less stressed.”

“I feel like sometimes I’m a bad person.”

“Why is that?”

“I hurt someone I care about before. She didn’t want me, and I….I tried to hurt her. I wanted to feel like I was in charge for once, but I was cruel.”

“Can I ask what you did?”

“It’s a long story.”

“That’s alright. You can tell me about it when you’re ready to.” The therapist paused, working to see how much he might be able to get Ken to explain without pressuring him and making him shut down. “Can I ask, when did this happen with your former friend?”

“Well, she’s still my friend, I guess. She’s really nice. But we don’t see each other.”

“I see.”

“It happened, I don’t know, maybe a half a year ago.”

“Was it around here?”

Ken shrugged. “Kinda.”

“Have you ever taken y/n to where that happened? Or revisited the area alone, just to see how the memories made you feel?”

Ken’s chest tightened. “No.”

“Do you think that is something you might be able to do? Sometimes being back in a physical place where we wronged someone can help us find closure, especially if the one we hurt has forgiven us, but we have been unable to forgive ourselves.”

“I don’t want to.” Ken quickly wiped away a small tear forming, pretending it was something in his eye.

“Do you think y/n would understand if you told her?”

“I’ve told her a little. She wasn’t upset.”

“Does she know the specifics?”

“Uh…no…she met my friend, though. They liked each other.”

“Well that’s really good. Do you think she might be willing to travel with you, be present with you if you decided to try and gain closure?”

“…..I don’t feel like that’s necessary.”

“Can I ask why?”

Ken was silent for a long time. The therapist respected letting him internally process as long as he needed.

“I just think it’s unnecessary.”

“How do you feel you are working to help the problem right now, other than coming to me? Is there anything you’ve tried?”

“Just sex.”

“And why does sex feel like something that can fix the issue for you?”

“Because I have her then.”

“Have her with you?”

“Have her focused only on me.”

“Does she enjoy those times with you? Do you feel like she gets stressed, maybe feeling like she has to have sex with you so you’ll calm down?”

Well, fuck. Ken hadn’t thought of that. That made him feel even worse, angry, even. Though he couldn’t place where the anger came from….oh, wait.

“No. She likes it. She always likes it.”

The therapist was taken aback slightly by the sudden, minor shift in Ken’s tone, noting the aggression suddenly appearing, but kept his external demeanor. Being surprised was a good thing. It meant his client was starting to break through their emotional barrier.

“And can I ask, why would you talking about her enjoying those sessions be something that makes you feel upset?”

“She has to like them.”

“Why is that?”

“It’s all I have to offer her.” The words tumbled out before Ken’s brain had even fully processed them, and he sat dumbstruck, his own sentence replaying in his head. He felt like someone had stabbed him in the chest.

“Ahhhhh. That sounds like that’s a lot of stress you’re dealing with, too. Feeling like you only have one certain thing of yourself to offer her that she sees as worthy of her time must be exhausting for you.”

Ken worked hard to hold back the new tears that were coming stronger than he knew what to do with.

“Do you feel that she actually only sees you as worth her time because of the sex?”

Ken shook his head genuinely. “No.”

“So that’s another lie you have told yourself.” The therapist kept his tone soft.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to know right now.”

****************************************************

The walk home was torture. He tried so hard to think through everything they’d talked about as “healthily” as he could - the therapist’s words. But all he could think about was silencing everything for just a little while. He thought of getting home to tie you to the bed again and just fuck you for hours. Every time you were lying trapped underneath him was the only time he ever felt like he truly had any control over anything. But maybe today he needed to to be free to move however you pleased, to experience however you would wrap yourself around him or grasp onto his muscles or grab his hair. He could easily still keep you underneath him as long as he wanted with just his body weight.

The closer he got to the front door, however, the more overwhelmed he became, the voices in his head growing louder and louder, and suddenly he felt like he couldn’t even fuck you if he wanted to right now. He felt like he might collapse.

Ken opened the door as quietly as he could, not wanting to alert you he was home. Unfortunately, since the kitchen was very close to the entryway, you heard the moment he stepped inside.

“Hi, baby,” you said, turning while holding your coffee cup.

Ken froze, feeling embarrassed. He still didn’t know why he did, but he had worked to stop crying the entire walk home, without success. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks wet.

“Oh, Ken,” you said, setting down your cup and coming up to him, your hands on his face, your thumbs rubbing across his cheekbones. “It was a hard talk today?”

Ken nodded, hanging his head, his hands wrapping around your wrists. “I feel like I’m nothing to you, but I know better.”

“That’s okay.” Your voice was like a warm tea coating his aching chest. “I know you struggle with that. I can keep reminding you that you mean so much to me.”

“What if…like, I couldn’t offer you sex?”

You cocked your head, confused, but went with it. “I would still love you the same.”

He forced his eyes up to meet yours. “You mean it?”

“MMhmm. I do.”

He sniffed.

“Do you feel like I wouldn’t love you?” You asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, looking down again.

“Do you need some rest? Anytime I get really upset and have cried really hard some time in bed always helps me.”

He nodded, and you took his hand in yours, leading him to the bedroom. You helped him out of his clothes leaving him only in his boxers and went to the closet, pulling something out.

“Here,” you said, walking over to the bed and tossing a huge comforter on top of it. “This is my extra soft, cozy one. I used to use it all the time on really hard days awhile ago. I had forgotten I had it until now.”

He smiled a little then, reaching his hand out to you. You went to sit on the bed next to him, keeping your feet on the floor. You kissed his palm as his hand went to rest of your face.

“I love you so very, very much, my love,” you cooed. “But I need to get back to studying. I have awhile yet to go. I had just taken a short break to make some caffeine when you came home.”

Came home. Okay. Focus on the good things, his therapist had suggested. “Listen to anything that makes you feel safe or calm, try to enjoy the moment while it’s happening. This might help when you get stressed out to remember those times and know you are safe.”

“I’m home with you,” he mumbled.

You didn’t understand but nodded. “Yes. You’re home with me.”

He hummed, snuggling underneath the covers. “Okay.”

You smiled at him and kissed his cheek before picking up your laptop from your desk and picking up a textbook, heading out of the bedroom, closing the door behind you. You’d study at the kitchen table while he rested.

The home was on fire. Ken rushed through the flames, yelling your name, panic rising every second he couldn’t find you as smoke filled his lungs. Finally he heard you as you screamed, and his heart jumped in his chest as he rounded the corner to find your hands restrained to the wall over your head, blindfolded. You weren’t screaming in terror, you were screaming with pleasure. A faceless man was holding your legs around his waist, fucking up into you violently. It seemed you had no idea about the flames about to consume you, or maybe even who the man was. Ken tried to make his legs moved, begged them to, but he was stuck on the spot. He cried out your name but it seemed you didn’t hear him, your head through back in ecstasy as you moaned in time with the man’s thrust. Ken found a rock next to him and threw it at the man. It bounced off of him as if he didn’t even know it had been thrown, but then the blank face slowly turned to stare at Ken, a wicked smile suddenly spreading across his face where a mouth hadn’t been a moment before.

Ken sat upright in bed, gasping, panicking as he grabbed at anything he could touch, stopping only when he realized he had only fisted his hands up in the comforter. He buried his face hands, shaking, trying to stop the sobs that threatened to take him over again. He couldn’t remember ever having a nightmare before. He’d heard of them, but couldn’t even remember having a dream, only knowing they were something that apparently were a normal thing for most people, yourself included.

He tried to pinpoint the emotions he was feeling - something else the therapist had suggested when he got overwhelmed. Okay. Angry. Scared. Angry. Heartbroken? Fuck. Really, really fucking angry. He fell back into the pillows only to realize the sheets were covered in sweat underneath him.

You would help him feel better. He could go to you and you would pause your homework to soothe him and pet him and sit on his lap while he held you and hid his face in your neck. You wouldn’t be mad at him, you’d be so kind and patient like you always were.

He didn’t deserve you.

He didn’t deserve anything good.

The idea of going to you quietly to ask for comfort left his mind as quickly as it floated in, being forced out by a memory he created himself that honestly would probably never happen: you ignoring him, you telling him to get over himself while he finally was trying to understand why he kept feeling so angry like you had asked him to, you yelling at him, throwing something at his face. Telling him to….

“I can’t leave,” he cried into the pillow. “You said this was our home.”

You laughed. “Our nothing. Get the fuck out.”

You slapped him. He felt like his entire being shattered.

Ken was gripping the pillow so tight that his wrist began to cramp. Why. WHY couldn’t he stop these horrific scenes that played through his head.

The therapist had told him to breathe, even showed him how to inhale for four seconds and exhale the same amount of time. The mental scenarios weren’t real. They just might feel real.

Maybe he did need to return to Barbieland for a day…? Maybe he was dealing with fear that throwing Barbie out of her home could rebound back onto him…

UGH. Fuck fuck. This was hard. This was way too fucking hard. How was this supposed to help him get better, especially when your soft, perfect body was right behind that door, just down the hallway. When your voice could be filling his ears and drowning out at least most of these horrible things he heard in his head. Your taste filling his mouth, the scent of you, every inch of you, making him feel drunk.

You looked up from your book, Ken standing in the doorway. Sweat covered his body, his hair erratic, his face still as wet as earlier.

The concerned look on your face soothed him…but just a little.

“What happened?” You asked gently.

“I had a nightmare.”

Oh shit. “I’m so sorry. Do you need to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “Wanna forget it.”

“I understand that. Do you want to come sit with me?”

“Want you with me.”

“Yes, Ken, that’s what I said-“

“Want you with me.”

Before you knew what was happening Ken had picked you up and set you on the kitchen counter where you became trapped between the cabinets and him. “Need you.”

“What did the therapist tell you to do when you feel like this?” You tried softly, reaching for the hand towel next to you and gently wiped at his chest to remove the cold sweat.

“It’s not working.”

“It doesn’t always work right away.”

He wanted to slam you into the cabinets, forcing his lips onto yours, making you stop talking about all the bullshit he had been fighting inside himself ever since that stupid appointment today. He knew that was the wrong thing to do.

“Can I ask what happens to you when you choose sex to deal with these emotions you’re struggling with?” The therapist had asked. “Anything in particular that seems to help at all?”

Ken didn’t want to answer. Would you call the sex violent is he asked? Or would it just be ‘rough’? He didn’t like the word violent…you had never told him that word, so it mustn’t be so. You would have told him. You would tell him if he ever hurt you.

“Ken?” The therapist had said, breaking through the long silence that had followed his question.

“I….I tend to be rough.”

“How does that help you?”

“I don’t have to think as much as usual. It helps block it all out.”

“It blocks all of it out?”

“Well…not everything, not always. But sometimes. Sometimes I get to have moments where everything becomes quiet except for her. I get to just hear her.”

And he desperately needed to hear you now. His strong hand ripped your crop top off, tearing the material from how hard he had pulled. You sighed as you watched it thrown to the floor.

“I liked that top,” you said.

“I’ll get you ten more,” Ken promised, biting down onto your nipple.

You cried out, your fingers digging into his shoulders.

Oh, thank god. The exquisite pain of the way your nails dug into his skin, the taste of your flesh, the sound of your voice. His mind quieted for a second, and he heaved a sigh of relief as his tongue circled your nipple, his hands on your back, holding you into him.

“Do you feel like you take your anger out on her during sex?” The therapist’s words echoed in his head. God fucking dammit, not now. He had you in his arms. He would have you underneath him any second now. He didn’t need these fucking questions interrupting any of his time with you, especially these times.

“I don’t know.”

“Have you asked her if she feels that way?”

“She wouldn’t feel that way,” Ken forced himself not to sneer.

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“Because she likes it.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“She would tell me if she didn’t!”

He slammed you into the wall now, your legs wrapped around him, needing to fuck that horrible image from his nightmare out of his mind. You had pleaded with him not to tear the pajamas pants you had been wearing and he had pulled them off swiftly, laying them in a single piece on the table before picking you up again.

“You like this?” He asked, voice breathless but harsh. He was terrified of your answer, but now that the question was on his mind, he couldn’t make it go away. God, the last thing he wanted to do was actually hurt you.

“Yes, Ken,” your head fell back against the wall when he bucked his hips up unto yours, the thin fabric of his boxers not doing anything at all to hide how hard he was.

“You’d tell me if I was hurting you?”

“Yes, Ken,” you repeated.

“Aren’t you going to tell me you should be studying?”

“Need a break anyway.” You sighed, angling your hips a little to try to get better leverage of him rubbing against your folds. “You feel good.”

Against his usual judgment, Ken pulled his cock out of his boxers and tested his tip against your opening before he tried fingering you to see how wet you were for him. Your hands clamped his shoulders tighter.

“Do you think you can take me right now?” He breathed into your ear and you giggled because it tickled a little.

“I can try,” you said, one hand traveling to grip the back of his neck as he started to slide into you.

Your cry was loud, and Ken’s mind once again quieted for a single moment, and he bottomed out in you as he experienced one more second of relief.

“I need her loud,” he had confessed as the session was ending earlier that day. “It’s the only thing that ever fully drowns any of the bullshit out.”

He thrust up hard again and your forehead fell into his, your eyes closed, focusing on your breathing as he stretched you out a little sooner than you probably should have been. His hips started snapping into you in a quicker pace.

“Can I lay down,” you shuddered as the pain became more pleasurable. “Wanna be comfy with you.”

“Need you. Need you right here for just another minute.” Ken tried to slow his thrusts but struggled for control as he tried fucking that image from his nightmares out of his mind.

His head hurt from all of the stress he’d been trying to process from the day. His head fell into your shoulder, closing his eyes, your moans becoming louder as he tried angling himself to hit your special spot. He left wet kissing along your neck, hoping it would help dull any pain you might still be dealing with, and when his name fell from your lips in a blissed out sigh he sucked gently on your pulse point.

The nightmare slowly melted from his mind’s eye and he slowed his thrusts until he had stopped completely, staring into your eyes.

“You’d tell me if I ever hurt you, right?”

You nodded. “You’ve never hurt me, Ken.”

He carried you to the bed, laying you down gently.

He had been saving a special something for you, something he had wanted to use on a special night, maybe after he finally took you out on a proper date. But he needed to hear you, see you react to it now. Maybe that was selfish of him. For the moment, he had lost the motivation to care.

“Close your eyes,” he asked, kissing your temple, and you smiled, doing as he asked.

You heard a buzzing sound and felt yourself becoming wetter. You hadn’t told him but you’d used the vibrator on yourself in the shower while he had been in therapy, loving a moment of personal release where you didn’t have to think about anything for a moment.

Your eyes shot open when you felt the strong vibrations covering your clit… all the way down your vulva, sliding into your opening. Your body jerked and you grabbed one of Ken’s forearms as he leaned himself onto the bed with his hand but remained upright enough to watch the way your opening clenched around the toy.

“Holy…ahhh.what…”

It was one of those vibrators were it had a clit stimulator but curved downward so it had a dildo attached to it that could slide inside you and stay without having to be held. The stimulation against your g-spot was delicious but automatically a little overwhelming, your vision going dizzy for a second while you worked to adjust.

Ken leaned over you fully, pressing your hands into the bed beside your head, wrapping his fingers in your own.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

It filled you up enough to compare to two of his fingers while having almost more of an intensity than it was when Ken nipped at your clit.

You nodded, gasping, and he smiled down at you, kissing your lips.

“Gonna make you feel so good,” he promised, slowly starting to kiss down your sternum.

“Alright, I’m going to ask you a hard question, Ken.” The therapist laced his fingers together. “What if she does end up leaving?”

“You don’t have the right to say that out loud.”

“It’s probably a good idea for us to address this idea head-on. Ignoring it, stuffing it inside makes it worse.”

“How does it help if I think about it?”

“Intentionally bringing up fears and talking through him often makes them less scary. You’re able to conquer the biggest aspects of those fears, learn exactly what fuels the, so they become easier to deal with when they come up.”

“I don’t want her to leave.”

“I know, I-“

“I don’t want to think about it.”

“Our bed,” he mumbled, his lips attaching to your hip bone. “My y/n.”

You didn’t hear him, your ears filled with the buzzing from the toy.

God, you were perfect, writhing underneath him, even giggling a little as his wet kisses as they got to your stomach then going back to bunching the comforter up in your hands when the vibrator caused another spark of pleasure. Ken had made sure to lay out the comforter over the entire bed so you’d be extra comfy, like you had said you wanted.

“Well now I’m worried she’ll throw me out if I can’t stop acting like this.” Ken leaned his elbows onto his knees, his face in his hands. “Why would you put that idea in my head-“

“You already had it there, you told me so yourself.” Ken saw the therapist cross his legs through his fingers. He hated him. Not that he had done anything wrong…he just…he hated all of this.

“I couldn’t handle it. I don’t know how on earth I’d handle it.” Ken loathed how his voice choked a bit.

“Our goal is to make sure, to the best of our ability, that that will never happen.”

“I can make her stay.”

“Mine.” Ken flipped you over onto your stomach, the pressure of the toy being pushed onto your clit more intense from laying on it making you cry into the comforter. “All mine.”

He dipped a finger into you from behind, turning it upward to caress your muscle opposite the toy. You let out a strangled, throaty groan.

“What if she grows to hate me.” Ken’s words weren’t a question, they were as if stating a fact that was already coming into existence. He glanced at the clock. Why was time ticking by so slowly in this god awful therapy room.

“I do think this one is all in your head. Based on what you’ve told me, it sounds like you’d have to really go too far for her to ever hate you.”

“I’ll figure out how to make that not happen.”

“Unfortunately, we only have so much control over -“

“I will make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Ken slipped his belt from underneath the comforter, his hand almost shaking. Somehow marking you with his mouth was never enough for him now. He needed more. He needed you to react more, and lately his lips claiming your skin had made you relax more than anything. He wanted to be a comfort to you the same way you were to him. Somehow his brain wouldn’t let him see things that way, though. He didn’t know if he was ever truly a comfort to you.

You’d promised him he’d never hurt you. Thank god, because he was desperate for this release.

Your mangled scream filled the room as he bought the belt down, alternating cheeks, harsh and without pause. Usually he would wait a few seconds in between each for you to catch you breath, especially the first couple times. Today he saw red as the conversation with the therapist wouldn’t stop echoing in his mind, your legs shaking almost violently, your ass cheeks clenching as he kept finger fucking you alongside the vibrator.

Your body shuddered hard and you bit into the comforter, your throat raw from your screams as your orgasm hit out of nowhere. Ken didn’t even realize you hit your climax until he felt the way your muscle spasmed, knowing exactly the way you felt every single time you peaked with him inside you. Oh fuck, how on earth had he not seen that coming, heard the way your voice always hit a higher pitch right before it happened? He dropped the belt, focusing solely on the way his fingers touched you, his free hand pushing into your lower back as your hips bucked up into him.

“That’s my good girl,” he praised, loving how long this orgasm was lasting. “Come on my fingers as long as you need.”

Your entire body was shaking as you came down from your waves, Ken pulling his fingers out slowly, wrapping his lips around them.

“Ken,” you shivered. “The vibrator.”

“Mmhmmm?” He knew what you meant, but loved the way you were remaining in a zone of overstimulation. He leaned over onto you, pressing his hips into yours, his cock rubbing into your folds.

“Ahhhhh….no, please….”

“No, please, what?”

“Ken!”

“No, baby girl. I need you to tell me. Need to hear you say it.”

“Need a breather, please, please.”

Ken bit into your shoulder. “What if I don’t want to?”

Tears stung your eyes. “I’ll do whatever you want, for fuck’s sake. Just turn it off for a minute.”

That got his attention. He stood up and reached down to press the button and your tense body finally got to collapse fully into the mattress. Your ass was bright red, your fluids coating the toy and dripping down your pussy a little bit. Ken licked up the toy from the middle to your opening, pressing it a little harder into you, sucking on your opening. Your back arched and you made one of those kitten noises that always made him become impossibly harder.

God, he needed to fuck you. He had so many ideas now, his mind thankfully able to focus solely on you and what all he would do to you before letting you rest.

“Oh, god, please be gentle,” you whimpered as you felt your leg grabbed, knowing he was about to tie you up again.

“Just gonna make you feel good,” he promised.

You turned your head to see his eyes, a layered mix of anger and fear and….he was trying not to cry.

“Baby,” you said softly, your voice floating into his ears, and he looked at you. “What is it? What are you feeling right now?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s okay -“

“I don’t need to feel anything.”

“But you’re feeling a lot right now.”

He changed his mind. He’d tie you up later. He moved you onto your back and you kept your legs closed.

“Talk to me, Ken. Let’s work through this together.”

“Don’t want to talk about it. Want to fuck you.”

“You’ll get to -“

“We’ll talk later.”

“Promise?”

“Open your legs for me.”

“Ken -“

“Open. Them.”

You kept your legs closed, attempting to sit up but Ken leaned over you.

“I need your legs open, y/n.”

“You want them open.”

“No, I need it.”

You shook your head. “Not until you talk to me.”

Ken sighed. He dropped the belt you hadn’t notice he had been holding in his hand on the bed beside you and leaned on his forearms to kiss you.

“What are you feeling right now?” You asked against his lips.

That you’ll be gone when I come tomorrow from work. That this will be the last time I ever hold you, feel you, hear the noises you make because of me. “Nothing.”

“Baby, please.”

“Let me back inside you.” His eyes stared into yours. “I swear I’ll tell you everything later.”

“How much later?”

He kissed you deeply again, hand reaching to push itself between your folds. “Soon.”

You relented and relaxed your legs so Ken could pull them apart. The moment your wet, pink folds were visible to him, he brought the belt down in a single, stinging blow.

You weren’t sure how your body reacted other than you struggling for breath, your vision dark behind your tightly shut eyelids, an almost static-like audio blocking your ears from hearing anything else more a moment. You heard Ken’s voice bringing you back, feeling his weight on top of you.

“Such a good girl. You’re going to be fine. Ride it out for me. I’m here.”

Your eyes opened and a loud whimper escaped from deep in your throat.

“You’re going to feel so incredible in just a moment.” Ken’s voice was soft, trying to soothe you. He gently brushed a finger against your clit and you scratched at his back in response, trying to find any way to ground yourself, but then he moved down your body and licked his tongue up you.

“Touch me, please,” Ken asked, and without thinking your hands gratefully pulled on his hair, thankful for something to grip and jerk on. Ken hummed happily, going back to consume your core, and you wondered where he’d learned all of this, if he’d thought it up or if he had maybe read it somewhere.

Like the last time he spanked you before eating you out, everything was incredibly pleasurable, but today times ten, your body experiencing the intense pain somehow making the pleasure even greater, every nerve and fiber stimulated.

Your lower stomach muscles were clenching as he worked his magic, the build-up of your next orgasm almost painful, but still in the best way.

“Need you to come for me again. Need you nice and wet and relaxed.”

“Why?” You almost didn’t want to know, your body still working to process all of this.

“You’ll see.”

Your orgasm hit fast and hard again, barely able to come back down from your high when Ken inserted the vibrator again and turned it on. You felt like you were having to force your brain to focus to move your limbs as you tried reaching down to turn it off but Ken intercepted, grappling with your thrashing arms until he had them pressed into the mattress beside your head, climbing on top of you and holding one of your legs open and down with his knee gently so as not to hurt you.

“Baby, baby, I’ve got you.”

You screamed in frustration, trying to raise your arms to no avail. “What if I wasn’t letting you recover when you needed to?” You wailed.

Ken arched an eyebrow and smiled down at you. “You have.”

“Not THIS much.”

“True. You’ll have to surprise me with it sometime.” Ken carefully turned you over onto your stomach again, holding your arms behind you. “Just ride it out, baby girl. You’ve got this.”

“Pleeaasee Ken. Please, please, please.” You almost sobbed with relief when the vibrator was turned off although it remained firmly within you, deep inside your walls while still covering your clit.

“Okay, baby. It’s okay. Take your time.” Ken lay beside you, propped up on his arm, his fingers gliding up and down your back to soothe you.

He enjoyed the moment as long as his head let him. The quiet broken only by your jagged breaths and little noises as you worked to calm your body’s quivering, the softness and warmth of your skin underneath his fingers.

The voices began again, a sickening layered mix of everything he’d heard the therapist ask today. The one question threatening to overtake him completely, repeating itself, becoming more cruel each time he heard it.

“What if she does leave? What if she does leave? What if she leaves? What if she’s already left? She’s made the plans. She’s gone.”

Ken laid his head next to yours, brushing your hair out of your face.

“Tell me you love me.”

You mumbled something through your panting, your nails still gripping the comforter, trying to ground yourself.

“Please. I need it.”

“Love you.” The words were almost incoherent.

“Again.” Silence. “Please.”

“Love you.”

“I love you, y/n.”

Your eyes remained closed, feeling so incredibly tired that you were sure if Ken left you alone that you’d probably fall asleep within moments.

You felt your left leg being pulled toward the bed post again as the silky tie wrapped around it tightly then being attached to the post.

You can’t not be thinking about him when he’s not around, when you’re in class, when he’s at work…he wrapped the second tie around your right ankle, jerking a little harder than he meant to when he pulled the knot tight. He thought about you all the time, nonstop…he needed to make sure you always had a constant reminder of him.

He needed to make sure he made you sore.

The vibrator turned on again and your upper back grew tight as you felt like you might tear through the comforter while trying to hold onto something. You felt not one, but two of Ken’s fingers push inside you, your tight muscle stretching around them.

“How does this feel?” He asked.

“Ss..so..much…” You felt a third finger join his first two and your back arched. “I…so…full…”

“Mmmmmmm.” Ken watched at the way your muscle worked to relax around his fingers and the vibrator, being stretched out slowly. “I need to make sure you’re ready for me, remember?”

Oh. Dear. God. He wasn’t going to actually try and fuck you!!??!

“Ken, please think about this. You’re not going to fit.”

“That’s why I’m stretching you out with my fingers.” His free hand roamed over your lower back and ass. “I’m gonna fit inside you just fine.”

“But you won’t, though.”

“Just trust me.” He removed his fingers from you to spread your wetness around your ass hole, easily visible due to how wide your legs were being held open. He wouldn’t do anything without making sure you were okay with it, and he probably needed to wait for another day because he didn’t want to push you too much over your edge, but his focus kept snapping back to how this was the only area of you no one else had ever claimed before. No one else had touched you here, fucked you here. Maybe, if one day you relented, he could make you his in a way no one else had.

He tested just the tip of his thumb into that muscle and your legs went rigid.

“Is this okay?” He asked, genuinely wanting to make sure you were okay.

You were shocked how much it felt so good, a new pleasure you hadn’t exactly experienced before filling your entire lower region.

“Yes,” You breathed.

He rubbed his thumb just inside, moving it in small circles, and your vaginal opening clamped down onto the vibratory harder.

Fuucckk. Fuck fuck. Ken saw and heard how beautiful you’d be, experiencing anal sex for the first time with him, breaking you in by fucking you while fingering your virgin hole so you could orgasm around him before he’d sink his cock into-

No, focus here, now. He knew when you were nearing exhaustion and despite imagining how hot it would be to actually push you past what was comfortable for you because god, what if you loved it, what if he could pleasure you longer than usual after that, and he’d jerk himself off roughly in the shower while creating those scenarios in his head…he needed to make sure he kept himself in control, make sure you didn’t get hurt in any way.

He pulled his thumb out and pushed his throbbing cock against your opening partially taken up by the vibrator.

“Are you ready for me, y/n?”

“I don’t know,” you confessed, jerking against the leg restraints, wanting to plead for another break from the vibrator before going forward but also needing to feel exactly what this was about to be like.

“I’ll go slow.” He pushed his tip in then and you keened, Ken gasping loudly between how insanely tight you were, pressing into his member almost painfully, and the vibrator on the underside of his cock sending chills through his entire body. He gripped onto your hips, forcing himself still so he wouldn’t bottom out in you and hurt you. Your gasp sounded almost strangled, like you’d had the wind knocked out of you.

“Breathe, baby.”

“It hurts, ahhh, ugh, Ken, Ken…”

Please, please don’t make me stop, he thought. “Do I need to stop?”

Your voice was like velvet. “No. It hurts but it’s so fucking amazing.”

Ken pushed further inside, stopping again when your scream filled his ears - god, yes, please, so perfect, your voice only rising so loudly only for him - waiting for you to calm down a little again before going deeper.

He shut his eyes tightly trying not to cum right then. He’d never felt anything so tight, the vibrations exquisite, your voice finally fully drowning out all the awful fucking conversations and anxieties of the day. Finally, everything was quiet.

Finally, everything was just you.

He bottom out after the fourth time he thrust forward, needed to feel every inch of you as he leaned over you, holding himself up on his forearms. You lay groaning under him and he used his thumb to encourage the slightest turn of your head without straining your neck, kissing you so sweetly it felt contradictory to the amount of intense stimulation you were experiencing otherwise.

His thrusts were tender, almost intoxicated in nature, pulling almost all the way out before bottoming out inside you again, but everything somehow felt different this time.

You’d made love to him in the past, but he hadn’t been able to feel that “perfect” connection he kept hearing about in stupid romance movies, like it was some sort of magic that only existed in fiction. He didn’t know why today, but he finally felt connected to you. Like his lips were created specifically for yours and vice versa, your body only existed in this state of pleasure because of him, and obviously he had only ever felt anything like this with you.

You had tried to prepare yourself for Ken’s jealousy-fueled anxiety to consume him as soon as he cock was in you, his thrusts rough and his eyes blazing as you’d have to get used to the pain - albeit really, really good pain - until it subsided and everything only existed in a state of pleasure, but you hadn’t expected this: languid and sweet and god, you were thankful for it. You’d never been stretched this much, never had someone somehow this deep inside you, even if it only felt like it was the deepest you’d ever felt.

His hips picked up their pace but only a little, your bodies somehow seeming to move as one. Ken’s head fell into the pillow right next to where you were facing him, wanting to watch you but his eyes closing, feeling a little overstimulated himself.

“You’re being such a good girl for me,” he panted into the pillow. “You’re always so fucking good to me.”

“I need to come, Ken.” Your voice was weak.

He opened his eyes then. “Tell me what you need.”

He fucked your through your orgasm, sucking on your neck hard to mark you on this special occasion as your muscles clenched and spasmed in such a way that if you weren’t tied up and held down under Ken’d bodyweight that you would have ended up in the fetal position from your body automatically trying to curl up and away from how intense everything was.

Your whimpers mixed with a couple tears that rolled down your cheeks sent Ken over the edge, him finally losing what little control he’d held onto as he bottomed out into you over and over again until the waves calmed, and his body shook on top of your trembling frame.

He wanted to stay there and just kiss your neck and back, losing himself in you while his head swam with the aftermath of his pleasure, but he forced himself to stand up and pull himself out, removing the vibratory from you.

“Are you okay?” He asked, your body still shaking, because usually you’d have been able to calm down more by now.

“Y,y yes,” you stuttered. “Need…I don’t…kno-“

Ken ripped your ties off and turned you onto your back, your limbs limply falling onto the bed.

“I’ve got you,” Ken promised. He turned on the shower and coaxed you to sit up, your full bodyweight leaning against his chest while he held you after he’d brought you a glass of water.

He carried you into the shower and had tossed in one of those fruity scented shower bombs that you always loved after a long day at school. He crossed his legs in a way to where he could cuddle you while you rested on his lap without having to sit on the cold tile floor, and held your head tenderly while you leaned against him, bordering back and forth between being awake and drifting off to sleep.

Had he intentionally exhausted you to this extreme of a point to make sure he wouldn’t have to talk about all these stupidly hard emotions like he’d promised he would? He would keep his promise, he couldn’t ever imagine lying to you, but he didn’t want to do it today. He couldn’t.

But he would, no matter how much he didn’t want to, as soon as you asked him.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asked, lips against your forehead.

“Mmmm…chocolate.”

He smiled. “Chocolate what? Cake? Ice cream? Just a bar of it?”

“Everything.” Your giggle was sleepy and weak, but it was perfect to him.

“Then I’ll get you everything,” he promised. “Also, whenever you’re ready to talk about it, I’d like to ask if maybe you’d like to go on a trip with me.”

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