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celestialspecial · 2 years

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These Beautiful Torments (Epilogue)

Writers Notes- For those who hung in there and stayed with these guys for their whole story, congrats. You deserve some fluff!

The sun was high in the sky, only a few clouds threatening rain drifting in and out, a light crisp breeze weaved through the park. Trees rustling, the sounds of children playing in the playground, shrieks of laughter, people talking, the distant sound of New York City traffic. The sound track to your new life, sounded the same and yet so different.

“There are my boys!” You giggled, watching Billy laying on his back on the large blanket spread out for the three of you. A wiggly baby boy making sweet cooing sounds from where he lay on the blanket next to Billy, kicking tiny feet into the air. A light blue onesie lovingly stating “I love my aunt” gifted by Karen herself, who would probably pride herself on knowing it was boy until kingdom come.

You kneeled on the other side of them, tickling baby Jack’s tummy watching his little feet kick out back and forth. You’d both decided on the name at the eleventh hour, the first name Billy had thought of when you’d two first discussed names. He had a head full of dark brown soft wispy hair, and while ,his eyes were still that soft baby gray you could tell they’d darken into the chocolatey brown you were very familiar with.

You kissed at his chubby cheeks, reveling in the excited sweet noises your baby boy made in response. The sweetest face looking up at you, with the biggest smile.

“Even his smile looks like yours.” You chuckled, brushing some of his dark hair aside before looking to Billy who was watching the two of you, head propped up on his hand, elbow resting underneath.

The Russo genes were too strong, Jack was going to be the spitting image of his father. You nestled your face into jacks tummy again, “That’s ok you can look just like daddy, not like I did anything over here.” Billy responded with a loud laugh, his smile lighting up each of his features. Features you saw mirrored in your son, even now.

“You did all the work, if we’re lucky he’ll have your personality.” You leaned over to kiss Billy. Your fiancé. His lips molded to yours perfectly, each taste of him better than the last, getting lost in the headiness of it. You let your tongue run along his bottom lip, both of you groaning at the sensation, not giving a damn you were in public, then a gurgling and string of baby babble between you broke apart the moment. You felt heat rising in your cheeks as you pulled away from Billy, picking up Jack as you instantly noticed him starting to get fussy.

“Little squirt cock blocking me.” You smirked at Billy, adjusting yourself as you picked up the feeding blanket from your bag.

“He just doesn’t want a younger sibling yet.”

Billy made comically dramatic huff, holding Jack while you situated yourself to feed him.

“Poor guy doesn’t know he’s gonna have 12 younger brothers and sisters.” The sound you made was half scoffing at Billy’s remark half feeling Jack latch immediately.

“Yeah sure, just let me know how many of those you’re gonna carry yourself, Russo.” This only made him smile, scooting closer , assuming his resting position close to the both of you, one hand reaching up to rest where Jack’s back remained under the blanket. You remembered the day, in this very same park, when Billy had mentioned wanting children.

At the time you didn’t totally believe him, he was an amazing man to be sure, but the idea of him changing diapers, covered in spit up and with dark circles under his eyes had seemed like a long shot. But in your last month you watched fatherhood take hold of the man. You laid in bed resting, one hand on your bump watching him on the floor in the corner, just in underwear pouring over the crib directions.

Scratching his head as he turned over a random part of the furniture with one hand. The hair on his head growing back into something you could card your fingers through while he rested against your belly, speaking to the baby, words that you could only halfway make out before you’d fall into restful sleep. Sometimes waking and seeing he’d fallen asleep where he lay too.

He’d even started looking at houses in the suburbs. You’d laughed at the idea initially. Thinking this was a one and done situation, but with each day your love for both the boys in your life grew. Watching him bounce Jack softly on his shoulder to get him to burp, holding him in the rocking chair by the windows whispering, or maybe singing softly until those small cries ceased.

The rocking chair had shown up at your place, no note, or sender information. You both knew it was from Frank. It had also shown up with a large check, the beginning of a “college fund for the kid”. You both understood while he now knew the truth, it would take time for him to make room inside himself to see Billy again, as friend not foe. To see the baby. It’d take time but that was alright.

You made a sound of discomfort as Jack sucked a little bit too hard for your liking, bringing you back to this moment.

“Well there is no doubt he’s your son.” You mumbled fixing him with a goofy face, sending him onto his back laughing at the implication. As he gathered himself, running his hand up and down Jacks back again. Grinning ear to ear. It felt so nice to see him like this again.

“Hey buddy, gotta leave those intact for me.”

It almost felt unreal, that this moment even existed for you two. A year ago he could barely remember your name, battered and beaten down, on the fast track to either dying or spending his remaining days behind bars. Karen and Frank had stepped in, making sure the drives and their appropriate information got into the right hands.

They knew a couple of lawyers that had…experience with sharing the right intel to make a case work. Things were still ironing themselves out, but Billy was here, pondering his next steps, but relishing the here and now as well. Taking Jack from your chest, and holding him with the utmost softness but also a protective grip that only you could understand.

Resting your forehead to his, hearing the soft sounds of contentment that only a baby could make, pressing your lips to the side of Jacks head then up to meet Billy’s waiting lips. The distant sounds of the playground children laughing and talking, people walking nearby, all faded until all you could hear was Billy and your sons steady breathing, whole and complete.

Billy walked along the lines of the carpet in the apartment, bouncing his newborn on his chest, fast asleep, lulled by the constant motion. You had fallen asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow but Billy enjoyed these quiet moments at night with his son.

His son. He couldn’t believe how easily tears seemed to spring to his eyes looking into the face of something so pure and innocent.

Everything he wasn’t, and everything he hoped to protect for as long as humanely possible. He had been a hardened man, cold as steel, shrewd and unafraid to make bargains and deals that were unpredictable and dangerous. He’d swallow his pride watching old friends and colleagues showing off wedding photos and eventually baby pictures. Denying that he wanted any of that. He was ceo of a multi million dollar corporation, had a penthouse overlooking the park, a Bentley and liquid stock in multiple countries and banks.

HE was the epitome of what every man hoped to be, scratching and clawing to the top, emerging from the cesspool of a broken childhood in the system. Success incarnate, hundreds of confirmed kills on the field, taking that work ethic and squeezing every drop of his gumption out during board meetings and marketing events. He fucked who he wanted, went wherever he pleased and could own anything he desired.

Then you had to fucking walk into that restaurant and challenge everything he knew he wanted out of life. The food didn’t taste so delicious anymore, the liqueur and cigars didn’t bring the zest they once had, expensive items and clothing lost their opulence.

His whole world shrunk down to waiting for you to text him back, hanging on every word you said over a meal. He’d give up every high class car in his collection if it meant hearing your soft sighs in the morning after a good nights sleep next to him.

He suddenly understood the men he worked with, leaving at regular hours in order to be home for dinner with their wife and kids. Taking their vacation time and giving up fat bonuses to be home Christmas morning. The warm bundle on his chest stirred and he felt his throat work to keep a cough silent, lest he wake you or the baby up.

He’d toyed with the idea of wanting a baby so many times before and it’d felt heavy and scary but the idea of having one with YOU had been all he craved when you’d agreed to be his girlfriend. Once smooth and calculating, now reduced to a puddle of mush when he heard his child cry.

He’d give it all up in a heartbeat for you and Jack. He knew he was doomed that day in the park when you’d agreed to children with him, and even wanted to be married to him. Things he never saw in the cards for himself were falling into place, then he’d gone and fucked it all up. Waking in the hospital, alone and afraid, barely remembering his own name. Wondering if he’d ever feel anything other than fear again.

Then you were there, by his side, reading to him. He had no clue who you were but your presence eased every cell in his weary broken body. His heart called out for you each day you weren’t able to be there. Seeing your face, a face that felt so familiar he’d wrack his brain night and day trying to remember you. Glimpses would flash in the back of his eyes, he knew you were important to him, he could feel it just looking at you.

Seeing your baby bump for the first time he’d panicked, thinking you truly were just a friend, but surely no one feels these feelings for just their friends right?

A soft yawn emanated from the tiny body resting against his, moving from the window to the couch, venturing to lay down and see if his sleeping companion would allow it. The memories were coming back to him more and more each day, tiny details were made clear once again, small instances from his past re-emerging.

Easing onto the couch slowly watching the small face before him for any signs of waking. When there were none Billy let out a soft breath, relaxing against a few pillows, looking down at his sleeping son. Chubby cheeks, dark hair, soft lips in a little pout. You kept joking with him that he was a complete mini of His father, Ladykiller in training, it felt vain to admit it but Billy saw so much of himself in Jack already.

The little mannerisms would start coming in more frequently but the looks were there nonetheless. It felt hard to remember himself being a baby, a young child who did no wrong in the world beside being born. He felt anger that he was once this innocent and defenseless and no one wanted him or stood up for him, when he’d gladly lay down his life at any point to protect the sleeping baby on his chest.

Billy felt his eyelids starting to droop, the comfort of the couch, the bundle of warmth on his bare chest, rising and falling, knowing you were asleep soundly just in the other room. He was just going to rest his eyes for one minute…

You yawned, sitting up in bed when you realized that Billy wasn’t next to you and the baby’s crib was empty. Padding into the living room, rubbing your arms in the cool night air. Billy was fast asleep on the couch, Jack on his chest, also sleeping, Billy’s protective arm wrapped around his son, it was so quiet you could hear both of them breathing in the wide open space. Moving over to them as silently as you could, reaching to grab Jack and settle him in his crib, letting your love get some well deserved sleep.

As your hands wrapped around his small form you saw Billy stir, eyes fluttering open, hand instinctively holding the baby tighter. When he realized it was you leaning over him he un-tensed giving you a sleepy smile. Even half asleep he could still make your pulse race.

“Hey handsome.” You purred, running a hand up the side of his face, he leaned into it eyes shutting once more. “Beds feeling real empty.” He smirked, adjusting Jack on his chest allowing you to lift the baby up and give him the leverage to sit up himself, following you closely to the bedroom. You placed the still sleeping newborn into his crib, right next to yours, intending to get as much sleep as you could before his next feeding.

You felt the bed dip as Billy sat down next to you, snuggling in, his arms wrapping around your body, pulling you close. A contented sigh escaping his lips, you melted back against him, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your back. Your eyes were watching Jack in his crib, little face making expressions as he dreamed, tiny eyebrows drawing into a frown then softening, his little mouth parted, a hint of a familiar smirk on his lips.

You felt movement behind you, as Billy was watching both you and the baby from his position, hand kneading your hip tenderly, the heat of him seeping into the covers and covering your body in the only warmth you ever wanted to know. His lips brushed over the shell of your ear, breath tickling along the nape of your neck as his eyes fixated on the little baby still in dreamland, the perfect combination of the two of you.

Billy placed a kiss to your temple, laying back down, dragging you closer to him, hands gripping your hips tightly to him under the covers. You moaned into your pillow when you felt his cock pressing into your back through his boxers. Feeling him move ever closer to you, sucking on the tender skin of your neck.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to start trying for another.”

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